#why are my favourite characters always dead
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Thank you for taking the time to write that! I'm not familiar with any of the continuities outside of G1 and TFOne but I'll try to follow along.
So for TFP, I do know that Starscream went rogue because he hated the Autobots but also Megatron. And the fact that the first thing Megatron did after coming back from the dead was beat up Starscream....I say this about every continuity but it's obvious that Starscream is his favourite punching bag. I can see why Megs gets frustrated with him, but it does NOT excuse him abusing Starscream. Although, to be totally fair here, it's not just Starscream. Megatron abuses the hell out of everyone (at least from what I've seen in G1). I mean, he's yelled at Soundwave for being a fool because his plan got foiled, and Soundwave has NEVER talked back to Megatron and is his most loyal comrade who does things without question or comment.
I've always wondered if Starscream would have a hard time actually trying to be a leader/function by himself considering Megatron basically controls everything, hence why he gets upset over Megatron's demise later on. It's complicated and I'd need to actually sit and watch the series to get a better idea but abusive relationships 100% screw you up like that. And I think the reason Starscream resorts to violence is because it makes him feel powerful. Because he always feels powerless under Megatron and he hates that feeling.
"And if people can be happy for redemption arc Meg, there's no Primus damned reason why anyone should be against a Starscream redemption."
THIS! And honestly, I think Starscream actually has a much better chance at being redeemed than Megatron, because regardless of what anyone else might say, I still say Megatron was much more evil than Starscream. And I'm dying on that hill!
I know Megatron got a redemption arc in IDW when he became an Autobot, and while I'd need to find and read the comic for context, it just felt....weird? like they were trying to appease the Meg fans who wanted a redemption arc for him? Granted, I know that all boiled down to Megatron hating what he had become, but still....
I heard Armada Starscream was probably the most complex and fleshed out version of the character in any continuity. I haven't watched Armada, but I heard that he used to be Megatron's most loyal warrior, then got betrayed by him and left for dead, and only turned on Megatron because he caught him admitting it.
"There's a lot of star getting beat up for shit that isn't his fault but told it is, and people constantly manipulating and gaslighting him and he questions his whole ass life but then even after leaving after a particularly wack incident....he expresses how he came to realize that nothing he ever did was ever enough."
Oh my gosh....THIS is what I'm talking about. Armada Starscream was dished out narcissistic abuse because Megs saw him as a scapegoat. No wonder the poor baby has a fractured psyche. And while I totally acknowledge that Starscream had it much, MUCH worse than me, as someone who's been gaslit and blamed for everything under the sun, I just get this!
Earthspark I haven't seen and I've honestly heard really mixed things about it. Starscream saying to Megatron, "Nowhere is safe if it's with YOU" is one of the most brutally honest lines I've heard. I haven't watched it, but there is a video on YT that breaks down Earthspark Starscream and talks about the PTSD symptoms he displays in the series. I hate that they made Star a villain for no good reason and threw away his trauma lore ugh. Give my baby a redemption arc already or something! And not a "bam bam he's okay now" make him work for it!
See, I still think Megatron is the more evil one who's done worse things than Starscream. I may be biased as a Starscream fangirl, but from what I've seen, 99.9% of the time Megatron (or another Decepticon) started it, and at least 50% of that time it was done to push Starscream's buttons and make him angry. Oh my gosh, I was about to mention that...."oOh bUt StArScReAm TrIeD tO kILl MeGaTrOn!" And look, I don't condone murder obviously, but considering Megatron has tried to kill Starscream before.....I understand why he snapped, like in that G1 episode where he blasted Megatron and, thinking he was dead, declared himself the new leader. Which then lead to him being thrown out of the Decepticons and enter the Combaticons, whom he treated like dirt. I have always wondered why Starscream allowed himself to follow Megatron (I assumed it was for power) but him having some form of respect for Megs is interesting....oh boy I need to do some deep diving on this.
But yes! Megatron's abuse likely created the part in Star that makes him lash out. And like I said I imagine he was always hot tempered (like Starscream, I get angry/irritated easily and I lash out. I'm not proud of it) but what Megatron did to him drove him over the edge. This behaviour was modelled to him, not just by Megs but by the other Decepticons. Also, they are in a war. Kill or be killed. Sympathy is dangerous and makes you weak. This is what's drilled into their brainboxes. And I imagine Starscream probably doesn't know/doesn't get the chance to let out his anger in a non-violent way.
"Star has done questionable things, and can be a jerk, but that doesn't mean it's his fault he endured what he did. It's only his fault for his /own/ actions of hurting someone else as a result. And that doesn't exempt someone from being able to become better and deserve better."
This! đHe deserves another chance, he deserves happiness and a redemption. And if I have to write that for him myself, I'll damn well do it!
But really as someone who's dealt with some abuse like that, I just want to hug him and let him know he's loved đ
I just had a huge realisation yesterday and I wanted to share this after going through some pretty horrible stuff over the weekend: Something I've always asked myself ever since getting into G1 Transformers was "why do you like Starscream so much even though he's a narcissistic bully? Why are you, someone who is a victim of narcissistic abuse, taking comfort in a narcissistic character?" Well, I think I finally figured it out. Because Starscream is also a victim of that very same abuse. I mean, he's beaten, called names, bullied, unappreciated, abused, and put through the wringerâŠand he internalised all that abuse because he knew no other way. He had no one to turn to, and the few bots who did support him, he treated like dirt. Once he had that freedom and power, he abused it and became the very thing that abused him. I have no doubt he was always self-centred, selfish, had a huge ego, etc. before all that but honestly? I think Megatron's abuse caused him to turn out the way he did. I could have turned out that way and it's a little scary, some of the parallels I'm drawing with him.
@ichbinmeltdown wrote a great analysis on Starscream that I want to share here:
"Megatron was abusive as hell to Starscream. He treated him horribly, and I legitimately almost cried a few times watching it. There's an episode called Starscream's Brigade that introduces the Combaticons, and I think that perfectly demonstrates the cycle of abuse. The entire world is against Starscream at pretty much every turn throughout the series, but none more so than Megatron. Every word out of his speech synthesizer to Starscream is to berate him, and he's constantly throwing him around, beating him, even ripping out his speech synthesizer in a scene from a previous episode (Hoist Goes Hollywood, IIRC). His own teammates don't like him, and even his brothers- Skywarp and Thundercracker, going off of the idea they're brothers- just... allow Megatron to abuse him. (Not to get into headcanons here, but I personally believe that Megatron's abuse fractured the Elite Trine's family dynamic. They are still brothers and love each other, but they're all too afraid of Megatron to really... stand up for each other as they did in the past.) And Starscream seemed to just snap in this episode. He treated the Combaticons poorly, and even when teaming up with Shockwave, he subjected him to a lot of the same ridicule and torment that Megatron put him through. He failed to realize Shockwave was the one of the only bots who would give him a chance- and unfortunately lashed out at him, which ruined his chances of Shockwave ever being a true friend and ally to him. Once Starscream had finally gotten a taste of power and not being under another bot's boot, he too became the very thing that he lived in fear of. And that really is how the cycle goes- when you're finally free from abuse, it can be tempting to overcompensate and take back all the power you were robbed of, at any cost whatsoever. Starscream, like D16 in Transformers One, snapped up this opportunity."
And the sad thing is, I've seen this in real life and I've internalised some of the abuse I've dealt with too. I'm not proud of it. Like the Seeker Trine, my own family dynamic has been fractured by similar abuse. I know there's traces of narcissism in my behaviour too, and I'm NOT proud of it. Maybe this is why I can forgive Starscream for being a narc, because I can see a little bit of my own personality/attitude/behaviour in him. Maybe it's because I know where it came from, I get why he acts that way and it's not just random and out of the blue. Maybe it's because--and I know this is a bold statement--I don't think he would do some of the stuff my own family did to me (blah blah blah he's a fictional character).
I didn't mean for this to turn into a long rant, so
TLDR: I finally figured out that part of the reason I love and relate to Starscream so much despite him internalising some of the abuse I went through, is because he was the victim of that same abuse.
#I didn't add this since this is my OC but#I have this medic OC who is paired with Starscream#and even though Arcane is like the ONE bot who cares for him and treats him well#he still doesn't treat her as well as he should#especially when she criticises his judgement#and he's totally confused and befuddled by her affection towards him#I mean she just....loves on him for no reason and he can't understand that#welcome to our gd ted talk#starscream#tfp starscream#tfe starscream#armada starscream#g1starscream#tf1 starscream#megatron#justice for starscream
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hey harker! very much enjoying the lucanis/illario/general crow posting, and im gonna encourage more: now that youâve had some time to sit with the game i was really curious to hear more about your opinion on lucanis becoming first talon. i canât help but feel like itâs completely glossed over that lucanis is definitely going to get chewed up by this job in most save states. i have mixed feelings about it personally - but setting those aside because iâm asking about yours.
i TRULY cannot express this enough: that villa is a tomb and if we do not get him out of there we are burying him in it
lucanis does not want this job. he has straight up canonically always avoided thinking about this by assuming he would die before it becomes something he has to deal with. he reacts with paralysed disbelief to being given it and seems to have barely registered it for the rest of the game. and even if he did want it, lucanis is not capable of this job. none of his skillsets are managing people, or making ruthless calls, or watching out for himself. the only driving force behind him being pushed into this is caterina, who will not be around to do the admin and protect him from external threats forever. and she only wants him to do it in the first place because she had a good heirâhis motherâand has needed to project that dead daughter onto lucanis for his whole life, to believe she hasnât already gambled and irrevocably lost her familyâs future decades ago. but lucanisâ incapacity to ever say no to her, which is what lets him stay that eternal teacherâs pet, is one of the most obvious shining examples why he would be so bad for the job!
it would be an uphill battle for anyone to recover control of an assassin house that until last week was being run by your cousin who tried to kill you. it would be an uphill battle for anyone to lead the crows in the aftermath of the antaam occupation. it would be an uphill battle for anyone to cope with the fact that relying on viago and teiaâwhich lucanis with his resources and skills has no choice but to do here, even if he didnât simply like them and make choices based on liking people because he is not a strategistâpresents them as an alliance that any other ambitious talon must cut down to get anywhere. three out of eight of the talons is such a ludicrously dangerous number. it does not take an overwhelmingly brilliant mind to notice that thereâs more of us than there are of them
the best man for the job would still be fighting for their life, and lucanis is far from the best man. caterina was! and she still lost five children and six grandchildren holding it! thatâs so many! have you guys ever seen that one post about people who kept getting a new outdoor cat every time the last one got eaten by cougars and it was pointed out they were basically just feeding cats to the cougars. thatâs what caterina dellamorte was doing having kids
the points in lucanisâ favour off the top of my head are the weight of the dellamorte name and reputation, that his victory over illario was decisive and public, and simply the fear factor that he is a god slayer and, lest we forget, a fucking abomination. is that enough to keep him alive? for how long? under what level of constant anxiety and moral degradation for his very soft over-caffeinated heart? all for the questionable gain of several large and empty villas and the privilege of dragging out the slow and lingering death of a family that, you guessed it, you love it, itâs the thedas favourite: has no! next! generation! heirs! at all!!!
(unless illario has a bunch of kids somewhere. i think that would be objectively pretty funny, a sentence i managed to type most of before feeling ill. oh god we need to get them out.)
i apologise that my tone here is somewhat hysterical but i have been living in the mind of my rook, a character very aware of the realities of crow politics who loves lucanis very much. it does not surprise me that lucanis was once again incapable of even conceptualising saying no to his grandmother and accepted the title, or that the idea of abandoning her legacy and his family would seem insurmountable to him when he has been raised to believe itâs all heâs for and he is the last one shouldering the weight. but i am saying this with total and absolute confidence: this is another prison and he is going to die in there if nobody gets him out.
#veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#it was a wild decision to have those insane two options for illario be his quest choice and not whether or not we get him out of this#but i went with more of an in-world response to this ask bc thats more fun to me.#crow studies
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Hey there could I request G!P professor!nat x shy!quiet!reader where reader goes to the school dance alone and feels like a loser for not having the balls to talk or join in with other people but then nat decides to keep her company because she canât stand seeing her favorite student all pathetic just standing there like a lost puppy and then they sneak off to do âotherâ stuff
Favourite
Paring: fem!reader x prof!Nat
Warnings: SMUT, amab!Nat, top!Nat, bottom!reader, age gap (legal), taboo relationship, soft sex, p in v, brief oral, soft!Nat, virgin!reader, gentlewoman!Nat
!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional. I do not own these characters!
A/N: Iâm not dead yet and more active noe
I had always thought in college things would change for girls like me, the quiet ones, with a few friends, who you would only talk to to copy their homework. However it stayed that way or at least for me. I had found my small group of friends but I was far from well socialised in my college. But I wasnât complaining about it either after all it left more time to study.
Most of the lessons I attended were boring except for one: Russians literature with Professors Romanoff, a tall, athletic woman, with red hair and the greenest eyes you had ever seen. You didnât mind her talking for hours about poems and novels and what we were supposed to think of them. However you couldnât care less about the words leaving her mouth when youâre eyes were only fixated on her lips.
Eventually more of the semester passed and soon it was time for the annual ball. Because of your low social status you didnât even try to find a date opting on going alone instead, it wouldnât be that bad right?
Once there you where alone, the few friends which you had didnât bother to attend so you stood alone at the side of the large room your eyes fixated on the ground. You should just go, you thought to yourself. âGood evening, Y/Nâ you heard the familiar husky voice next to you. You looked up only to be greeted by your smirking professor. She looked gorgeous having picked out a matching suit to her eyes.
âHi, Ms. Romanoffâ she leaned against the wall next to me her eyes darting over my smaller body. âWhereâs your date?â âI donât have oneâ I answered truthfully, her expression stayed the same it was hard to read her. âAnd youâre friends?â I sighed she knew the answer to that already. âThey didnât attend.â She chuckled licking her lips like a predator who just found itâs helpless prey. âPoor girl, all alone and needs her professor to keep her companyâ
I let out a small laugh which sounded incredibly fake. Her words made my cheeks heat and I didnât even know why. âCould be worseâ I looked up in her eyes again âYouâre a very pleasant conversation partnerâ âAm I?â She chuckled âThat means a lot to me, hearing my favorite student say something like thatâ âIâm your favorite?â you stammered out âTrust me bunny a girl like youâ Her hand trailed to my hip âYou hardly get something like that every ten years. Iâm very happy to have youâ
Her words made my heart flutter and my head turn. I was special, Romanoffâs girl. âDo you mean that?â My voice was still a bit shaky. âOf course I do. We should go somewhere more privateâ I nodded her hand intertwined with mine she pulled me with her through the masses into the parking lot. Once seated in her expensive looking her hand never left my thigh before she started the car she leaned over to me our lips inches apart I tried to lean forward but her hands pushed my shoulder back against the car seat.
âDonât do this to make me happyâ She paused her eyes looking sensire âIt wonât affect your grade no matter how you decide.â âI want thisâ
I breathed out our lips immediately finding each other. The kiss was passionate and heated until Nat pulled away to fasten my seat belt.
âIâll drive to my apartmentâ She put her own seatbelt on âIs that okay with you or do you want to go to your dormâ âIâd like to join your tonightâ Natasha gave you a cheeky grin at the response her plan had worked out perfectly.
Arriving at her apartment she seated you on her leather couch. She paced around her living room having two wine glasses in hand. âDo you want a glass?â I laughed I was extremely nervous but in a good way âOh, I donât drink but Iâll have a water insteadâ She just nodded accepting my preferences.
âYouâre the prettiest girl Iâve metâ She laughed slipping away from her wine glass. âAnd Iâm not just saying that because of the wine.â She added she was sat next to her hand on your thigh. She had long forgotten about her crumpled up suit jacket on the ground though she normally was so precise about keeping everything organized.
âYou donât look bad eitherâ You laughed she pulled you on her lap forcing you to but your legs on either side her crotch on yours. âLet me kiss youâ she mumbled against you wet lips. You lips were pressed together so where your bodies and you could feel a bulge poking you. âFuck you make me so hardâ she breathed out on your lips making you moan out in response.
We were caught in the dance of our tongues when I felt her standing up her arms under my ass supporting my weight. I giggle and tighten my grip around her. âLet me take you to the bedroomâ
She laid me out on the bed being careful with every item removed and making sure I was comfortable. She kissed everything inch of my skin paying extra attention to my sweet spots and I never felt so loved before. âHave you done that beforeâ She breathed put against my skin.
âNeverâ I answer truthfully and suddenly I felt a dang of jealousy in my chest. âIs that- a problem?â My professor moved up again before kissing me âOf course notâ She looked me in the eyes with her green eyes. âWill you let me be your firstâ She was being incredibly cheesy but Iiked that. It made me feel safe. âYesâ
She took one of my nipples in her mouth twisting and turning the other with her trained fingertips. She made me putty in her hands with each lick or flick she brought a new sound from my tongue.
My back arched which only made her increase the speed of her movements. After she seemed it to be enough foreplay she kissed her way down to my pubic bone, pressing her nose against my skin to take in the smell of my sweet arrausel. âCan I bunny?â She smirked and kissed your clit I was already wet but Nat was dying for a taste. She flicked her tongue over my now exposed bud. The pleasure was incredible better than any other toy I ever had and you tried to not lose my mind as she teased you bundle of nerves.
She pulled away shortly after ripping away my release in front of my eyes. I looked at her confused as she was already freeing herself from her boxer. She didnât have a size to be ashamed of and her bush was well groomed too, like you wouldâve suspected. She pumped herself a few times groaning until she was fully hard a little droplet of cum on the redden tip.
âWait Iâll put a condom onâ She reached for the drawer but you stopped her âIâm on the pillâ Her lips formed a smirk as she positioned herself between my legs. âItâs not gonna hurt sweetheartâ She reassured you kissing my neck.
She pushed inside and I making me scratch down her toned back making her whimper. Fuck her whimpers where hot. She bottomed me out looking down at where our bodies were connected she smiled up at you and you smiled back and after I nodded to her she picked up pace.
She was slow at first making me want more you could tell she being careful with you. âFasterâ I moaned out making you hips buckle into her trusts. She moaned like a pornstar panting above me as she increased her speed the bed creaking. She made my back arch and my eyes squeezed shut as I released my quiet prayers for her.
âYou close?â She panted and I nod âFuck, your so tightâ I grabbed on her shoulders scratching down as I came all over her shortly after she filled me up too. She pulled out the cum leaking down my legs. She climbed up my body flipping us over so I lay on her chest.
âYouâre my favouriteâ She whispered and kissed my sweaty forehead
:)
#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff smut#black widow x female reader#natasha romanoff x you#black widow x reader#natasha x reader#natasha x you#natasha romanoff
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OFFENSIVELY ATTRACTIVE VAUNT
Why do I have to be so offensively attractive? Everything about me from top to toe is perfection. You've never seen a face as pretty and flawless as mine. No cause why do I have to look this hot? I'm fr the hottest girl on the planet. Everything about me from top to toe is pure perfection, my individual features are perfect and flawless but when they come together they are so harmonious? Like everything just fits my face so fucking perfectly like it's meant to be there. Every inch of my face and body is gorgeous and flawless. I am a walking masterpiece, I'm a work of art. Everyone is obsessed with me the first time they see me, I am so drop dead gorgeous that people literally double take and gasp once they lay their eyes on me. I mean, I'm always the center of attention because why wouldn't I be? I high key give off real main character vibes, it's like I straight up walked out of an anime. It's near impossible for someone to look this humanely beautiful but I do because I'm just too damn stunning. I literally take everyone's breath away. I am so offensively attractive, people find it difficult to not look at me, I swear all eyes turn only to me because I'm literally the most beautiful ever. It's only once in a blue moon that you'd get a chance to see a person as attractive as I am, Im once in a lifetime afterall. I get complimented every single day, I hear everyone call me beautiful more than my own name. I am too painfully attractive, it's indescribable. I'm the typa girl who you see once and never forget. I literally got everyone feeling some type of way they never felt before. I am literally so utterly mesmerizing. I got everyone simping for me fr. I'd be literally breathing and everyone would be down bad for me, Literally down bad. I got universal sex appeal, meaning everyone regardless of sexuality is down bad for me . I am so sexy people genuinely cannot get over it and everyday I just get 100x trillion times hotter. I am just sooo damn fine like I've got too pretty of a face and even more powerful vibe. I believe in my supremacy fr. Sometimes it's just so hard to grasp the fact that a person as attractive as I, is living on the same planet as everyone else, everyone is damn lucky to be born in the same generation as I am. It's ridiculous how many simps I have, like damn I really got everyone down bad for me huh. I am the pinnacle of God tier beauty and charisma.
There's something about my vibe which is just so uniquely mine, like my vibe and energy is so one of a kind, everyone can feel my vibe even before I walk into the room. I give off an expensive, powerful, hot girl vibe who straight up walked out of an anime I swear lol. My energy is way too magnetic and irresistible, it speaks volumes. My presence is literally out of this world. The way I carry myself, the way I talk, the way I do things, the way I think, the way I look, my energy, my mannerisms, my habits, all of it is way too unique to be replicated. Everyone wanna study me like their favourite subject. It's impossible to mistake me for another one, I stand out and outshine literally everyone with my beauty, charisma, and interesting personality. The fact that it comes to me so naturally and effortlessly? Even better. I've got such amazing wit and humour, I'm so personable that people genuinely love to be around me even though I may seem intimidating at first. I always know how to spark interesting and amazing conversations, I know when to speak and be quiet, I got that perfect balance between loud and quiet confidence. My intelligence and the way I keep learning new things so easily? Even hotter!. I am an ICON. My energy is actually so magnetic, I have that little something, that is just so insanely attractive and captivating that it cannot be described in words, only felt. I truly believe in my own supremacy.
#vaunt#vaunting#vaunts & affirmations#manifestation#manifesting#loassumption#affirmations#affirm#affirmyourlife#affirmdaily#manifestingreality#manifestyourreality#master manifestor#self concept#self concept affirmations#law of assumption#neville goddard
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Whom do you Relate?
Winter: Jaune, can I ask you something?
Jaune: What is it?
Winter: Among the, Specialists there is a tradition of sorts that we ask our newest members; This question is meant to help us gage the mentality of our newest members. Would you care to answer this question for me?
Jaune: Oh, newest member? Am I being drafted into the, Specialist?
Winter: No, you're... Well, if you're interested I could put in a word with, General Ironwood for you. I told him about your reasoning for seeking to destroy the, Karnivair, and how you planned, and managed to destroy the, Karniviar within a matter of minutes. General Ironwood was most impressed. He would be honoured to have a, Huntsman like you under his service.
Jaune: Oh...
Jaune looked to the side as he took in, and contemplated the words that, Winter had spoken.
Jaune: Thank you, Winter... I'll think about it...
Joining the, Specialist's? Jaune couldn't help, but contemplate the possibility of, joining, Winter, and becoming a, Specialist. Maybe after she was dead he could join...
Jaune: So... what is this question you wish to ask?
Winter: The question we ask new, Specialist members is this: 'What fictional character do you most relate to?'
Jaune: Fictional characters? Why fictional characters, and not some historical figure instead?
Winter: It's fictional characters because it is easier for a person to relate to a fictional character than a real person. A fictional character can be changed, and molded to fit a person interests, desires, and character beliefs. But, a real person is already set in stone, they are who they are. So, we ask what fictional character a new recruit feels like they can relate to as a way to gage their potential, and mind set. So tell me, Jaune: 'What fictional character do you most relate to?'
Jaune looked away from, Winter once more as his contemplated her question before coming to a rather peculiar answer to her question.
Jaune: Before I answer... Who did you most relate to?
Winter: M-Me...?! Well... I-I most related to... The Rusted Knight...
Jaune: The Rusted Knight? The character from the children's book story?
Winter: It is my favourite book okay! I've always like the, Rusted Knight so I always related to him...
Jaune: Can you tell me why?
Winter: Well... Alyx was always protected by the, Rusted Knight. He didn't do it because he wanted anything, but because he wanted to protect her, because it was the right thing to do. And, I feel like that is what I should do, as a Huntress, and even more so as a, Specialist. So.. I relate, and feel inspired to be like the, Rusted Knight. You know...?
Jaune: Ha... Now that's cute...
Winter: C-C-Cute?!
Winter's face was flushed red from embarrassment as she stuttered out her indignation at, Jaune. A soft smile playing across his face as he watched her.
Winter: Excuse me! How is me finding the, Rusted Knight relatable cute?!
Jaune: Well... when I look at you, Winter... It always feel like you're... far off...
Winter: 'Far off?'
Jaune: Distant. Closed off. You are a reserved person by habit, Winter. You're upbringing, and military training made you a quiet, and reserve person. To know that you relate to a character from a children's book makes you feel more human. And... And, it's cute to think of you as a little girl looking up to the, Rusted Knight. A cute little girl looking up to her hero. Isn't that such a nice thought?
Winter's face was flush red as a raging blush spread across her face. She muttered a dew words as she look away from, Jaune.
Winter: N-Now you're just making fun of me...
Jaune: Oh, only just a little.
Winter: Jerk...
Jaune: Haha...
Jaune chuckled softly as he looked out on the frozen tundra of, Atlas.
Winter: Do you... relate to the, Rusted Knight as well?
Jaune: Hmmm... Well... I've always had this weird feeling about the, Rusted Knight... I relate to him... but it doesn't feel like I relate to him as a character, but it feels more... familiar... familial relation...
Winter: Familial? Like a brother?
Jaune: Something like that, but... different. I don't know how to explain it, Winter. Its always just felt that way ever since my mom first read me the story about the, Rusted Knight. I never understood it myself, it just felt that way.
Winter: That's... interesting... In that case, back to my original question: 'What fictional character do you relate to most?'
Jaune: Hmmm...
Jaune's mind went back to her question, and he came back to a simple answer. But, Jaune doubted, Winter would understand.
Jaune: I... I don't relate to anyone... anything...
Winter: Nothing? You feel like you don't relate to anyone?
Jaune: ...
Jaune: I don't think so... I never felt like I did... I was inspired by stories of knights; slaying the monster, rescuing the princess, saving the day, stories like that... I mean look at me, I'm a literal knight in shinning armour. Oh...?
Winter: 'Oh?' What's, 'oh?'
Jaune: I guess I relate to the ideal of a knight in shinning white armour. That was a childhood dream of mine, to become the knight in shinning white armour, just like in the stories. But, reality has dulled it's allure, and luster. It's hard to see yourself as the knight in shinning white armour when your armour is covered in mud, and blood...
Jaune look down looking down at his gauntlet, notice now, how much it could do with a cleaning.
Jaune: Well... I'll let others seem me as the knight in shinning white armour... I'll make sure they live long enough to be seen that way.
Jaune clenched his fist, and squeezed it as he made this silent vow to himself. All the while he was unaware as, Winter stared on at him. Shaking her head as she dispelled the scarlet blush creeping across her face.
Jaune: So, does that answer your question, Winter?
Winter: Yes... That answers it beautifully.
Jaune: B-Beautifully? Why did you answer it like that?
Winter: A childhood dream ,and the desire to live it out even when the world throws everything it has at you; That's such a beautiful thought, isn't it?
Jaune: Hmm... I suppose it is...
Winter walked aver to, Jaune her hands behind her back as a radiant smile flashed across his face.
Winter: So, Jaune... I will ask, General Ironwood about the possibility of you becoming a, Specialist. You don't have to say yes, just think on it, okay?
Jaune: Okay. I'll give it some thought.
Winter: Good!
Winter walked past, Jaune before turning on her heel to stare back at him.
Winter: And, if you become a, Specialist... I'll become your new partner!
Jaune: Uhhh... what?
Winter: Tee-hee~!
Winter tilted her head, and winked at him before leaving, leaving a stunned, Jaune just standing there trying to comprehend what had just happened.
Jaune: ...?!
Jaune: The hell...?!
: Oh~? I think she likes you, Jaune.
Jaune turned on the spot to see the ghostly visage of, Pyrrha Nikos standing before him.
Jaune: W-Winter Schnee... l-l-l-likes... me?!
Pyrrha: Yep~!
Jaune: ...
Jaune: Bullshit...
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Death Wish 3
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: mob!Bucky Barnes
Part of the mob drabbles au
Summary:Â youâre desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. Iâm happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging â€ïž
Photo Inspo
The time when your father is out of the house is always the most peaceful. All the same, the anticipation of his return keeps you on edge. You never really know when heâll be back. He could be gone for days at a time or only a few hours. With news of his new out-of-town assignment, you can at least breathe for a moment.Â
He leaves without a goodbye. The word sentimental has never been used in the same vicinity as your father. You and your sisters watch him go, less forlorn than you may appear. Relief washes over you as the door closes.Â
âCan we go shopping now?â Adrienne asks. Sheâs the youngest at eighteen.Â
âWe should,â you say. âKitty, you have the money?âÂ
âIn my purse,â the eldest assures you. Kitty, thought your mother always insisted on her full name, Katherine, is almost thirty and wears it plainly. âMore than enough.âÂ
âWe should try to buy extra in case he waits again,â you say.Â
âYeah, you always are the most practical.âÂ
âCan we go to the bakery?â Adrienne asks. Mr. Mulano gave me some money the other day for helping her air out her townhouse. You wouldnât imagine the dust. I still have a rash.âÂ
âIf you have the money,â Kitty resigns.Â
âI do and I want to spend it on us. Weâll get canolis. They were always maâs favourite.âÂ
You give a glum smile. Kitty is the most like your mother. The sweetest. Always thinking of others. And she looks like her too. Itâs probably why you and Adrienne get in front of her when the storm starts or even why your father doesnât tend to go after her as much as you.Â
And she took your motherâs death the hardest. You grieve more for the life she lived than the life that she lost. She had a monstrous husband and three helpless daughters. She spent her days scrounging despite having a made man and was battered to the bone in trying to protect what little she had. When she died, there was no shield left between you and your fatherâs temper.Â
âYes, letâs go to the bakery,â you agree. âIâll pay for coffee. I have some change in my purse.âÂ
You get dressed in a carefully picked outfit. Itâs warm out but you wear a long-sleeved white blouse. You balance it with a tea-length beige skirt. The shirt covers the bruises mostly, though you have to blend a bit of makeup around your neck and your face as always is painted to hide the darker spots. Not much can be done for the split in your lip.Â
You go out and the sunshine feels warmer than usual. That shadow still looms. His shadow. No, not your fatherâs. Barnesâ. Youâre as embarrassed as you are terrified. Why did you do that? Your father? Dead? You must have seemed so naive. Thatâs not how it works.Â
You shrug it off and go about your day. Itâs a rare occasion that you can just enjoy being with your sisters. You do the shopping first. You fill the cart with all you need, and a few extra staples just in case, then go to the bakery.Â
Nova is always busy and for good reason. They have more than just coffee cakes and pastries. They have a full sit-in deli and coffee roasted in Sicily.Â
You offer to sit with the cart as Kitty and Adrienne stand in line. Kitty wants to look at the delicately iced specials through the glass and Adrienne wants to be sure she only gets decaf. Youâre all too happy to have a seat.Â
You sit with one hand on the cart and the other on your purse. You look down at the worn leather. The brown bag was your mothers. You didnât get a lot of what she left behind. Your father threw most of it out, though you know he hawked her jewelry when he got his new car. As much as he proclaims his love for her, he doesnât show it otherwise.Â
The bell above the door rings amidst the buzz of the closed space. Theyâll have to open the windows soon to let the heat escape. You glance over carelessly at the new entrance. You snap up straight as your eyes meet the bright blue ones. As if looking for you, the boss finds you, a calm, unreadable expression beneath his dark beard.Â
You stare back at him and squeeze the strap of the purse. He fixes his tie and nods his head at you. Your lashes flick in surprise. Then, he faces the horde as they start to quiet. Those ahead of him take notice nd hush, stepping aside to let him through.Â
Kitty gasps as Adrienne grabs her arm and moves her away from the front of the line, giving up their turn for the mafioso strutting toward them. He stops before he reaches the counter. The entire place watches.Â
âGo on, ladies,â he insists, âitâs on me.âÂ
You blink and shrink back against the metal frame of the chair. Your sisters donât move at first and when they do, they use the same caution as when your dadâs huffing and puffing in the corner. They speak to the cashier in low tones and turn to Barnes. They thank him with their hands clutched.Â
He placidly puts in his own order and digs out his wallet. The cashier tries to wave him off but he insists. You only catch a few words from your vantage.Â
He gets his coffee first and box of pastries. You never imagined him having much of a sweet tooth. The sight of this deadly man in his dark suit in this place is absurd. He doesnât come to collect the protection fee, men like your father do. No, heâs there for a coffee and dessert. At least, you canât believe that it would be for any other reason. Especially not youÂ
It canât be.Â
He turns and struts out without a look back. You stare after him as a low murmur crawls through the bakery. You peek through the window as he passes. His blue eyes glint in your direction and his cheek dimples. Your world is small, too small for coincidences. Youâre starting to think thereâs more going on than just a job out of town.Â
#bucky barnes#dark bucky barnes#dark!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#mob au#au#drabble#series#mcu#marvel#winter soldier#captain america#avengers#death wish
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Service Animal (Part one)
My mans Logan Howlett X Reader (afab)
Part two here
WARNING: This is soooo self insert it's not even funny. I get weird migraines that present like absent seizures and thought it would be nice to get a warning beforehand by my favourite babygirl Logan (like my own personal service animal). This is gonna be in three parts, it's mostly finished and ends in smooshing so be ready for that ;)
UPDATE: turns out my migraines are actually mini strokes :)
The after effects of using your power was kicking your ass.
In a daze, you made it to your private room and went straight to your bathroom. You felt the nausea rising up in your throat and quickly opened the toilet lid to throw up.Â
The multiple alternate realities of what could have happened tonight flashed before your eyes. Ororo, Jean, Scott, Logan, all collapsed on the floor, dead. Their screams played in a relentless loop in your head; you were dissociating badly. Your surroundings melted away until there was nothing but the countless ways they could have died if you hadn't bent reality to avoid it.Â
Always. It's always like this.Â
Gradually, you begin to return to your body, only to realise there was someone in the room with you, holding your hair back.Â
Terrified, your body snapped up from its kneeling position to face the intruder.Â
âWoah, hey, it's just me. Calm down.â
âL-Logan?â you slurred, suddenly feeling self conscious of the smell of your breath.Â
âI knocked and called out but you didn't answer. So I came in to check on you.âÂ
You eyed him, feeling suspicious of how out of character this was for him.Â
âWhy are you looking at me like I'm lying? I'm not totally heartless,â he said defensively.
âWhy'd you come in the first place to see me though? I thought you were pissed with me,â you grumble.
When you'd overdone it with your powers, Logan threw a hissy fit and yelled at you for going too far. While you knew it was out of care, it still rankled you that he was acting as if you were a child. You knew what you were doing.Â
âI⊠just had a bad feeling,â he said quietly. âY'know how I've got my heightened senses. I could tell something was off with you.â
âI'm fine. Just need to rest. This is normal for me.â
You turned around to the bathroom sink and grabbed your toothbrush. You gave your teeth and tongue a quick clean, wanting to just wash all the blood off your body so you could sleep.Â
It felt like you had a raging hangover from drinking Everclear all night.Â
When you turned from the sink you noticed Logan was still there.Â
âUh⊠need something? I wanna get ready for bed and pass out.â
âYeah, I need to know you're okay,â he says.
âI told you, I'm fine. I'm going to shower so please leave.âÂ
Your patience was wearing thin. But you were also aware that some of it was nervousness coming out as aggression. You couldn't deny the attraction you felt towards him, although his attitude left much to be desired. His behaviour tonight was quite frankly really sweet and it was psyching you out. You were already in the midst of losing touch with reality and his actions were so contradictory to his usual self that it was causing you a psychotic break.Â
âYou're not listening to me,â he ground out, losing some of his own patience. âI'm telling you that something is wrong with you.âÂ
You stared silently at him, mouth slightly hanging open.Â
âOkay, that came out the wrong way.â He was ruffling his hair in agitation. Cute. âWhat I'm saying is- I'm⊠ahâŠâ
âPlease, Logan, I just want a shower so I can go to bedâŠâ
âLook, I'll just wait in your room and I'll leave once you're in bed safe, âkay,â he says, turning to the door and walking out, shutting it behind himself.Â
Fuck.Â
You just wanted to be alone so you could have a good cry. You were incredibly confused about what in the world was going on but now you were really getting scared. And Logan's words were not helping.Â
What if he's right and this time your connection with reality has been completely severed? But what else were you supposed to do? Let them all die? Even with your special training with Charles, your power was so unruly and chaotic that it was terrifying. You had to be careful or there would be no way back.Â
You got undressed and turned on the shower, stepping inside. It was only once you were under the hot stream of water that you realised you'd left your pyjamas in your bedroom. You groaned aloud. Fuck, now you'd have to walk in front of Logan in nothing but a towel. Why the fuck was he here? You wished he'd just leave.Â
You watched the dried blood wash away from your skin, turning the floor of your shower a bright red.Â
You felt your stomach drop and your head turned fuzzy. The sound of your shower disappeared. The safety of your surroundings melted away.Â
Scott, his eyes gouged out from his head. Ororoâs limbs crumpled every which way, her eyes clouded over not because of her powers but because she was lifeless. Jean, her neck holding on to her body by a thread, her cranium blasted open and her brain dripping down her face.Â
Logan, on the ground, ripped to shreds, his Adamantium bones showing through his torn flesh. And the wounds weren't healing.Â
It was always like this. As if you were being punished for playing god. It was as if all the horrible realities you prevented from happening still lived on but solely in your mind, driving you insane. It left scars of trauma on your psyche, Charles had told you. So you had to be careful in how you used your powers or you may become completely untethered from reality. A fate worse than death.Â
Vaguely, you could hear yourself mumbling and gasping and swallowing loudly, trying to find some kind of equilibrium in the mess of your mind.Â
You were trying desperately to connect back with your body but at the same time you didn't want to because it only meant having to fight this same battle over and over again.Â
Seeing your friends die before your very eyes in hundreds of thousands of different ways, experiencing each traumatic story to its conclusion. Only to have it all unravel into a reality where none of it happened, but the whiplash makes you doubt this reality too. It's always too good to be true. You feel it in your bones that you don't deserve this. That the way you twist reality is wrong and one day it'll catch up to you in the worst possible way.Â
You feel water running down your face and remember that you're in the shower. You try to ground yourself and come back to your body. You hear the water splashing, feel the ground beneath your feet, the solid embrace around you.Â
You try to move but you can't. Finally, you snap fully to your body. Your mind is groggy, feeling like you'd been hit by a truck. But there's the unmistakable warmth surrounding you, dense and as unyielding as brick.Â
Your face is roughly yanked upwards and you open your eyes.
âFuck, finally! Are you alright?âÂ
You stare blearily, mouth open and dry from the adrenaline that had been pumping through your body just moments ago.
Bright hazel eyes. Huh. So pretty. You'd never noticed.Â
You realise you're not supporting your own weight. You're finally aware that Logan has you in an embrace, holding your body up, one hand around your waist and the other on your jaw as he looks into your face. The water on your face isn't from the shower, you realise. It's your tears.Â
âBloody hell, please say something,â he says angrily. You feel some of your own anger flare up in response. What's his problem?Â
âFuck,â you croak.Â
You feel his chest vibrate against yours as he laughs, suddenly aware that you're as naked as the day you were born and this man is fully clothed standing in your shower, getting his white singlet wet. Giving you a bear hugâŠ
Your brain short circuits as you try to come up with words, feeling your whole body heat with embarrassment.Â
âW-what are you doing in here?â you manage to slur.
âHelping your ass,â he says roughly. âCan you stand?â
Fuck, good question. Can I stand??
âC-close your eyes first,â you demand.Â
âBit late to be feeling shy now don't you think?â he teases with a wink.Â
âJust close âem!â you yell at him.Â
He laughs before complying.Â
You extricate yourself from his arms, turning off the shower, then navigate carefully around him to exit the cubicle. You grab a towel and cover yourself, making a mental note to grab a clean one later since this one was definitely dirty now.Â
âOkay, open your eyes and get out, please.â
He turns to look at you.
âDon't think that's a good idea, bub.â
âAnd why is that?â you huff impatiently.
âWhat if you collapse in the shower again?â he says matter of factly.
âI've been having these things for a long time. I've managed to survive so far so don't stress about it.â
âIt's different now though, isn't it? You've been having these for a long time, you said so yourself, and they're only getting worse instead of better.â
You sigh heavily in frustration. You hated that he was right.Â
âSo what exactly are you suggesting?âÂ
Your heart was beating like crazy. He better not suggest what you think he was going to suggest.
âI'm sure old Chuckie boy wouldn't mind lending you his shower chair for the night,â he smirked.Â
You laughed out loud despite the tension in the room. He always managed to make you laugh.Â
âYeah, I'm just going to wake up an old man in the middle of the night to ask if I can borrow his shower chair,â you joked, lightly slapping him on the shoulder.Â
He laughed along with you then you both shared a few moments of comfortable silence. Only for him to break it with-
âMy other suggestion is to shower with me so I can make sure you don't faint and hurt yourself.â
You stared at him distrustfully.
âHey, look, I'm not being a pervert, it's just the only solution I can think of on the fly,â he placates, hands raised as if to say I'm innocent and unarmed.Â
âRightâŠâ
You stopped to think for a second, your muddled mind trying to make sense of the situation.Â
It made you especially uncomfortable that you didn't exactly have your full mental faculties about you.Â
But Logan was a good friend. You'd fought beside him many times before and you saw that you could trust him. But⊠he was still a man. A man much bigger and stronger than you.Â
âCan I trust you?â you asked falteringly. What a stupid idea to ask the opinion of someone fully in power over you.Â
âI promise I won't do anything without you wanting it. This is entirely your choice.âÂ
You looked him in the eyes, trying to find a trace of falsehood in them. But you only saw honeyed eyes, dripping with conviction. The same conviction you'd seen many times before when he was protecting those he loved.Â
You felt yourself feel a little calmer.Â
âOkay⊠but you better not break your promise. Or I'll sick Charles and his shower chair on you.âÂ
âI won't. I just want to keep you safe,â he said in a low, serious voice.Â
You felt a fluttering behind your ribs. Fuck⊠I'm about to shower with this incredibly attractive asshole.
âOkay⊠you get in first,â you said.Â
âYes, ma'am,â he said a little too cheerily.Â
You turned around to give him privacy to undress. You heard the rustle of his clothes then a thump as he dropped them on the floor of your bathroom.Â
Should've known he'd be a slobâŠ
You heard the shower turn on and you braced yourself for what was to come next.Â
You turned towards the shower, keeping your head down and eyes averted. You removed your towel and stepped into the shower, still not looking at Logan and ignoring his presence, which was hard to do in your little shower. Thankfully he was turned away respectfully.
You stood behind him, turned away from his body. You took your soap and began to lather it over yourself as you usually did when you showered.Â
âWould you like a hand with your back?â Logan spoke up.Â
You paused as you weighed up the question in your mind.Â
âSure,â you said quietly, trying to keep yourself calm.Â
This is totally normal. We're just friends having a shower. Together.Â
You turned your back and heard him applying soap to his hands. Slowly, gently, as if you were made of glass, he began to rub your back, starting with your shoulders. You felt yourself give an involuntary shiver.
âAre you cold? Do you need the water a bit hotter?â he asked you.Â
âNo, it's fine. The temperature is okay with you?âÂ
âYeah, bub, just perfect.âÂ
His hands felt massive against your back. He massaged your neck for a few seconds before moving down your shoulder blades towards your middle back.Â
âDid-did you want me to do your back too?â you asked, trying to hide how nervous you were.Â
âSince you're offering, sure,â he said gruffly. You turned towards him at the same moment he turned away from you, unfortunately catching a glimpse of his insane fucking abs, but thankfully managing not to make eye contact.Â
You soaped up your hands and began with his neck, trying not to notice how thick and muscular his traps were.Â
God⊠this is hell but also heaven.Â
You ran your hands across his ridiculously broad shoulders and down his middle back, avoiding going too low lest you caress his stupid, tight ass.Â
âI'm going to wash my hair, okay?â you told him, unsure of why you were asking permission.Â
âDon't know why you're asking my permission.â Fuck. You were being weird. âBut I can do the same right?â he responded, holding in laughter.Â
You felt your face go hot.
âD-do what you want,â you said petulantly.Â
You took the shampoo bottle, squeezing what you needed for yourself before handing it to him over his shoulder, which he thankfully kept turned to you in respect.Â
You both washed your hair in silence. You already felt a bit better. You dreamily thought of your bed as you rinsed the shampoo from your hair.Â
You then grabbed the conditioner and squeezed some into your hand.Â
âNeed the conditioner?â you asked Logan.
âWhat for?â he asked, confused.Â
âFor your hair, duh.â
âNah, I'm good. Haven't had to use it so far in my life, won't start now. Need a hand with washing your hair?âÂ
You knew he was trying to be helpful. But it felt so, so wrong. Like overstepping your relationship as friends. But then again⊠would you ever get the chance again to have an incredibly sexy man wash your hair for you?Â
âSure,â you said stiffly.
Silence, then his hand moved around you to grab the bottle from you.Â
âAh-â you already had some conditioner in your hand. You were about to tell him but decided to keep quiet as he worked on your hair.Â
His fingers⊠so thick and strong yet gentle through your hair, over your scalp. You couldn't help but to close your eyes and enjoy the sensation.Â
It was over too soon and he stepped away from you again. You tipped your head to rinse your hair, giving your face a quick scrub with water while you were at it; fuck your skin routine, you were going straight to bed.Â
âI'm going to step out first,â you informed him.Â
He grunted in reply and you stepped from the shower, grabbing two clean towels from your bathroom cupboard. You covered yourself with one and half turned your body to Logan, gaze still averted from his direction.Â
âHere ya go,â you tried to say cheerily, offering the towel to him. Â
âThanks,â he said and grabbed it from your hand. You quickly moved to the door.Â
âWait until I say you can come in,â you said before closing the door behind you.Â
Fuuuuucccckkkkk.
This was not helping you to relax at all.
You dried yourself quickly and threw your pyjamas on.Â
âI'm done!â you called through the door.Â
He stepped out with his towel wrapped around his stupid, slutty waist. You could see his happy trail adorning his abs. His enormous pecs, his dog tags resting in the dip of his gorgeous chest.Â
âHey, bub, my eyes are up here,â he teases.Â
You swallow thickly and glare at his stupid, smirking face.
âHave I ever told you I hate you?â you retort, only succeeding in making him laugh.Â
âHow are you feeling now?â he says softly, suddenly serious.Â
âI'm⊠exhausted. I usually sleep a lot after an episode.âÂ
He nods in understanding.Â
âYou'll be okay if I leave?â
This gives you pause. If you were being honest to yourself, you'd say, âPlease stay. I don't want to be alone tonight.âÂ
But you weren't honest with yourself.Â
âThanks for looking out for me, Logan. I really appreciate it and sorry for putting you out. I'll be okay. You can go to bed now if you want.âÂ
He looked at you in silence. He stepped towards you, so close that you had to look up to keep eye contact. You could feel the warmth radiating from him. Fuck he runs hot.Â
âYou mean it, right? You're okay to be alone?âÂ
You stared at him, a little bit dumbfounded. Was he able to read minds or something?Â
âYes, I'll be fine. I'll be in bed so I can't exactly fall,â you chuckled.Â
He didn't laugh with you. Only watched you carefully.Â
âOkay. I'll respect what you say you want,â he says carefully.Â
Again, this is so out of character for him that you second guess yourself whether you're in reality or not.Â
You watch as he turns to the bathroom and grabs his clothes from the floor then goes towards the door to the hall.Â
âHey-w-wait-y-you're not going out like that are you?â you stutter in disbelief.
He turns back to you.Â
âWhat else am I going to do?â he asks incredulously.Â
Clueless.
âPut your clothes back on,â you retort.
âEw, you're a bit of a slob, aren't you? They're dirty and covered with blood and who knows what or who else.â
You deadpanned.Â
âWhat if⊠what if you stayed here for the night?â you blurted out without thinking. You flinch at your own words.
Logan pauses with his hand on the door knob.Â
âI don't exactly have my pyjamas here with me,â he says slowly.Â
âI've already seen and touched you naked. What's the difference?â you hear yourself say.
What the fuck am I saying?
âI-I mean, surely I have something that can fit you,â you amend quickly. His face seems to go slack in surprise.
âWow. You really want it, huh?â he smirks at you.Â
You ignore the heat that overtakes your whole body.Â
âN-never mind! Fuck off already,â you say sourly.Â
âHey, I'm just joking,â he laughs. âI can definitely stay if it helps you feel better.â He smiles at you and you feel yourself melt a little bit.Â
âIt⊠it would. Help me feel better, I mean.âÂ
Having him near you would help remind you that this is real, you justify.Â
âAlright then,â he nods to you. âSome clothes would be great.âÂ
âAh, sure, give me a second.âÂ
You quickly go to your wardrobe to locate the loosest pair of pants you own. He'll just have to sleep shirtless, there's no way you have a top that will fit over his broad shoulders.Â
You find a dark grey pair of trackies and turn back to him.Â
âTry these.â
âThanks,â he says as he takes it from your hand.
As he moves back to the bathroom you jump into bed to wait. Your bed never felt so fucking good.Â
You've barely settled under the covers when Logan reappears from the bathroom, his hair still wet and dripping down his neck. You do your best not to stare.Â
He moves towards you and lifts the covers to slip into bed with you.Â
This is just a sleepover, you tell yourself. Like when you have a friend over for the night.
Logan slots himself into your bed alongside you and you become suddenly aware of how small your double bed is. The frame creaks loudly from the weight of him and his Adamantium bones.Â
âComfy?â you ask.
He turns in the bed so he's facing you. A smile slowly makes its way to his face and you find you can't breathe for a second.Â
âYeah, definitely,â he murmurs.Â
âAlright, sweet, gânight then,â you say quickly, turning away from him to still your beating heart. Fuck, I hope he can't hear my heart right now.
âAre you sure you're ready to sleep? Your heart is beating pretty fast,â he points out cooly.Â
Mother fucker.
âSo⊠you have heightened senses right? Kind of.. like a dog?â I'm not thinking straight, why am I trying to piss him off?Â
âThought you were going to sleep,â he grunted. The sound of his gravelly voice did something to you. But you ignored it.Â
âIt just kind of reminds me of those service dogs, y'know the ones that can sense when their owner is going to have a seizure? I mean, I know I don't have seizures exactly, but I guess it presents sort of like one.â
âWhat are you trying to say?â he asks gruffly. He doesn't like it when people compare him to dogs. You're just grateful you can't see the look on his face right now.Â
âI'm just wondering how you can tell? What is it exactly that you're sensing? It's always interested me,â you say honestly.Â
He grunts again and goes quiet before answering.
âI can smell it. Can't even explain what it actually smells like. But that's how I know, although it isn't always accurate.â
âThat's really interesting.â And you mean it. It really is interesting⊠although the implications concerning his sense of smell have you a little bit paranoidâŠÂ
âSo that's why I'm telling you to listen to me when I fucking tell you to stop with your powers. You could've killed yourself tonight,â he grinds out, anger in his voice.Â
âLogan⊠you need to understand where I'm coming from. You all died tonight. Like literally, right before my very eyes, you were all dead. What do you expect me to do?âÂ
You feel tears pricking your eyes, the lump in your throat is choking you.
âI⊠I can't talk about this right now okay?â you tell him, trying to keep your voice steady.Â
âOkay⊠okay, I'm sorry,â his voice softens. âPlease, just get some sleep, okay? Guide dogâs orders.â
And just like that you're laughing again, feeling a tear running down your cheek to your pillow. You were so grateful to have him in your life. You were also grateful he couldn't see you crying right now.Â
âAlright, g'night, puppy,â you tease.
ââNight,â he says softly.Â
A minute passes and you can already feel yourself starting to drift off. You smile to yourself, knowing that you have your own personal âservice animalâ to keep you safe tonight.
#logan howlett#logan howlett imagine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x reader#wolverine imagine#wolverine#Logan being cute and worried and caring uwu#I saw dp and wolverine and fell in love dont know why it took me seeing his hairy 55 year old abs for this to happen#I never crushed on this man during xmen but idk he fucking got to me in that movie ok#i stan a guilt ridden man with low self esteem put your penis inside me right now#ass writes stuff
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Something I have always loved about the red dead cast is how active they are with the fandom, most of them are deep down in the trenches with us, looking at fanart, edits and understanding shipping culture. This also does that we as players get more friendly with the cast and especially Roger and Rob are fan favourites for being so interactive with the game even though it was made so long ago, that said I think my favourite cast member to listen to yap about this game is Steve (Bill) because he himself is a massive fan.
Rob has never played either of the games, he tried to play chapter one of red dead two but never came any further. Roger is a massive fan of rdr1 and seems to have played through rdr2 but doesn't seem to have gone that deep into details as he can from time to time be caught off guard at new facts by pannels.
On the other side we have Steve. Steve is on his fourth playthrough of red dead two last I heard, he has shown excessive excitment in finding new camp interactions and easter eggs, some of which he helped record but forgot about, and to really show how nerdy he is about the game, his favourite character is the trapper, as in the npc. Why? Because he likes to listen to the guy yap about his departed wife. I can't be the only one to know the trapper had one of those. Either way it is proof that Steve has been hanging around listening to npc yapper and I love that.
#rdr2#rdr2 community#red dead redemption 2#arthur morgan#rdr2 arthur#red dead redemption community#red dead redemption two#john marston#red dead fandom#rdr john#steve palmer#nthspecialll
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my favourite aspect of cass is whenever she insists on saving bad people. like her belief that anyone can change because she was once a bad person its so endearing and i love that about her. like that one issue where she consoled a kid whos father was a criminal. shes a perfect match for batmans no kill rule i love herrr
SO REAL it's such a fascinating element because no other character (not even Bruce sorry) has made saving The Bad People too such an integral part of her character. It's so compelling in a way a lot of other all loving heroes aren't for me because if you have like. A child murderer who says he will kill again and someone says "but he can change!" I wouldn't care and would want him dead. His victims past and future would always be the priority to me. But Cass approaches it with so much projection and character work going on every time that I end up rooting for her like yes Cass! Convince them they can change! I don't want to see what happens to you if you fail because I know your grief is going to hurt!
That line from the end of her batgirl run where she's like "why does everyone I care about die?" and the ghost of Stephanie replies "Because you care about everyone. And everyone dies." like ugh just. Cassandra Batgirl Wayne character of all time.
Thank you for the ask!
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I hate to bitch but⊠Iâm going to:
There was just? So much wrong this season and not even because I wasnât a fan of the ending - in fact, I quite liked that they were 8 little marigolds together - but the rest of it!?
Thereâs at least three plot lines that added fuck all to the story - and Iâm all for fluffing out the stories/characters, love me a filler episode - but not only did we not have time for a filler episode with 4 less episodes than usual those plot lines added nothing to the characters or the story or anything really.
Klaus getting kidnapped (again), no one noticing (again) - getting possessed & having sex, getting buried alive (again, if ykyk) apart from Alison going to save him - what did it add? - I love Klaus heâs literally my favourite character, I always want more Klaus but it kind of feels like they didnât know what to do with him? - âletâs make him relapse and do some crazy stuff, for shits and giggles!â
Diego & Luther going to the CIA - this is the one I see the most sense in of course, but apart from making Diego realise that he shouldnât take Lila and his kids for granted and announcing that the CIA guy was part of the whole Jean & Gene cult thing (and getting to see David Castañedaâs abs (despite supposedly having a Dad Bod now?)) it kind of went on too long? It felt like it was slightly misplaced? Idk
And of course, how could it go unmentioned - the Five/Lila romance? whAT THE FUCK!??? Like itâs creepy both ways bcos Ritu Arya is 15 years older than Aidan Gallagher - freshly legal - and because Five is nearly 70 at that point? And thatâs without even mentioning the fact that, oh yeah - Lilaâs married to his BROTHER? But if you took it out - what would change? Genuinely? That Lila will always choose her family? Choose Diego? Tbh she could easily come to that conclusion without any romance, she clearly longed to go back more than Five did (who btw, abandoned his family after spending his entire life trying to save them - WHAT?)
The only one making any progress was Viktor
And so many things left unexplained- why did Ray leave Alison? What happened to Dave? (Guessing heâs long dead now but we still donât know if Klausâ s2 plan had any effect & the only hint of him we got this season was the dog tags (more than last season at least)) Why is Reggie a fucking alien? How did he get to earth??
I just feel so unpleasantly underwhelmed for a show that has meant so much to me the past few years, for an ending that was mildly disappointing but not as much as the 4 episodes that came before it.
#the fact I havenât even mention everything that disappointed me this season is shocking#the umbrella academy#the umbrella academy spoilers#tua#tua season 4#tua s4 spoilers#five hargreeves#aidan gallagher#lila pitts#lila hargreeves#ritu arya#klaus hargreeves#robert sheehan#ben hargreeves#justin h min#alison hargreeves#emmy raver lampman#diego hargreeves#david castañeda#luther hargreeves#tom hopper#viktor hargreeves#elliot page#tua spoilers#my brain is weird#meme#memes
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will you ever draw masc sirius? not to compare artists but recently i've just noticed masc sirius pics get more notes and ppl get more pissed off bc of fem sirius. it's ok if you draw fem wolfstar (fem sirius AND fem remus) but it's kinda weird you only draw remus masc. kinda heteronormative. when wolf is gay. plus canonically sirius was masc and remus was fem (sirius was the biker and remus was short.) it's ok you're more into fanon but canon is real so i'm just curious if you will ever draw masc sirius. if you will it'll be very cool and i'm sure you'll get more notes too.
This is the LAST time I'm going to be talking about this because I'm so TIRED of this debate.
Firstly, the "canon" you speak of is written by this person. So think before you start arguing anything about canon.
Then, since apparently some of you still cannot read. I DO NOT DRAW FOR YOU; I DRAW FOR ME. I could not care less about notes or likes or popularity. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy my time. That you are so concerned about notes is your own problem, not mine, but I suggest you change that because notes do not equal any sort of value, and this mindset is just going to be bad for anyone's mental health.
My favourite thing as a person whose gender is literally all over the place is getting to express that through the characters I draw. For ME, this mainly happens through Sirius because his "canon" is this very HETERONORMATIVE man. The freedom of him being able to step away from that and to be allowed to be whatever he wants to be on that day is just wonderful. Sirius, for me, is a reminder that no matter what you're born as or whatever people say you should be, it does not say anything about how you feel or express yourself.
Remus will forever keep evolving for me. He's also allowed to be whoever he wants to be. When I read fics he looks different in every single one. And if you actually paid attention to my art, you can see that he does not always look the same. For me, Remus is a comfort. He will always be a long, wet noodle with bad knees to me. He will always have his scars and his freckles, and those are what make him beautiful. I'm not sure why people immediately assume this is something that makes him "the man" or "the top". If that's what you're thinking when you see them, then there's something gone wrong on your side because you are deciding what a queer relationship is supposed to look like, when in fact you are the one being homophobic and heteronormative.
Also that my Sirius is shorter and more gender-y so to say, does not mean he can't kill a bitch on sight. He could break Remus in half in a second if he wanted to.
Anyway, I'm off to draw some dead gay wizards in whatever way I want to <3 love you guys. Truly the majority of you make me feel safe and seen, and I couldn't have wished for a more supportive community
#IF ANYONE ELSE SENDS ME AN ASK LIKE THIS YOU ARE GETTING BLOCKED ON SIGHT#okay#no more#you are being harmful to the queer community#just think before you speak and not everything is fucking black and white
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chubby girl chasers??? (jjk men who would LOVE to have a chubby gf!!) part 1 (part 2 link here and it's also at the end)
cw/tw: mentions of body image issues, mentions of nsfw in some (all??) parts, all characters are of age, (idk what else to put but english isn't my first language so sorry for bad writing)
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gojo satoru
if you've ever seen my posts you could've guessed this tbh (I live love laugh gojo) he's so lovely
would hype you up NONSTOP and oh my gosh if you decide to wear more revealing clothes (or clothes that cling to your body) he'd be ON HIS KNEES worshipping you tbh
he just loves your plush and soft body SOO MUCH (he loves you as a person more ofc) but the way he can just come home after a long day and lay his head (or his whole body..) on top of you, he absolutely loves it. he loves all of you, seriously, he sees nothing wrong with you. you're perfect and he definitely tells you that too. not a day goes by without him calling you perfect.
and he loves when you dress up. tight clothes are his favourite because they allow him to see your perfect figure, and don't worry, no one would even have a chance to say anything bad about you or even look at you in a non-positive way. he's the strongest, he'll personally make sure that no one can make you feel bad about yourself.
missionary is his go to position. he wants to see your gorgeous body and gorgeous face as he fucks into you. you feel waaaay too good around him, he thinks he's lucky to be the one who gets to fuck you. you look so beautiful under him (you always look beautiful) and he's so lucky to be the only one who gets to see you like that. he's a praiser in and out of the bedroom, I swear. and if you wrap your legs around his lower body.. he loses it.
(read these fics (fic 1 is my personal fav) if you wanna know how I picture gojo in bed: fic 1, fic 2)
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toji fushiguro
OH he would just love grabbing your plush thighs as he buries his face in between them and eats you out. would make you sit on his face (doesn't care about suffocating, he's strong so you don't weigh anything to him really). would love laying on your soft thighs and your stomach (makes you play w his hair, he's such a softie for you).
if you're insecure about yourself because of your body he'd praise the shit out of you (he'd praise you no matter what you're insecure about, if you're insecure). bro would surprisingly be your personal hype man tbh
"what did you just say about my gorgeous girlfriend? repeat that and you're dead." no one is allowed to say anything bad about you (there's nothing bad in you ((except for him, get it, nothing bad in you and he's bad and he's in you.. yeah not funny is it)) so why would anyone have the right to say anything bad). he makes you wear clothes you want to wear, makes sure you can have the style you want to have because no one should have the right to make you feel uncomfortable in clothes that you love. if you want to wear the tightest clothes there is, do it! he makes sure no one says anything to offend you or make you feel bad. he's famous of being capable of THINGS :heart: so no one would even dare to say anything but positive things about you- there's nothing but positive things about you.
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yuuta okkotsu
bro was in love with a curse I don't think he really cares about looks LMAOO no but this man would literally love you more than anything. your weight is not a problem for him, why would it be? he loves everything about you, your personality, voice, looks, humor, style.. just everything.
his favourite thing is to fall asleep on top of you (his head is usually on top of your chest, stomach or thighs. I don't make the rules, he LOVES falling asleep on you. he's shy with his words tbh but he hypes you up despite that. you're insecure about your body? why? you're perfect, what is there to hate? he doesn't get it, you're the most gorgeous human being in the whole world. (prettier than everything else too, don't get me wrong). and he definitely will tell you what he thinks about you. endless praising tbh
he loves when you ride him; the feeling of your thighs on each side of him as he fucks his hips upwards into you?? he's in heaven, overstimulated by the pleasure and he loves it. will definitely tell you too (I'm a whiny submissive yuuta believer, he whimpers). he loves how soft you feel inside (and outside). he'll def massage your thighs when you ride him (or at least grab them).
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megumi fushiguro
are we surprised? no we're not!
fav hypeman! he'd literally blush whenever he sees you, you're just way too out of his league (he thinks you're too gorgeous to be in love with someone like him) and he's your boyfriend?? he's the luckiest man alive.
he loves how you look all the time, especially when you're confident. if anyone dares to make you feel insecure about yourself, they will face the consequences. and trust me, no one wants to face those consequences (they're both painful and awfully humiliating. megumi knows how to make people regret things). he's shy about his feelings tbh but you'll hear endless compliments from him. he compliments you when he first sees you in the morning and throughout the day too. there won't be a day when he doesn't compliment you. he loves to see you when you're confident and loves to make you feel confident too.
and he loves your hands; he loves how they feel, he loves how they look.. he just loves your hands SO MUCH. he loves holding them and caressing them and kissing them. he loves how they feel and look around his dick...
he loves kissing you. his hands will be caressing you while his lips are sealed onto yours. if his hand is on the back of your neck, he'll softly pinch it (he loves the extra softness on it, I hope yall know what this means). he'll pinch your back too, your thighs, the sides of your stomach.. it'll definitely be a bit ticklish but you can't blame him, he loves everything about you way too much.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I love chubby chasers tbh (I love chubby women pls) also I don't really like how this fic turned out but that's okay (it makes me wanna cry tbh but I hope yall enjoy!!!)
I got lazy so lmk if you want a part 2 (I have a lot of characters in mind for this)
#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru smut#jjk x chubby reader#gojo x chubby reader#gojo satoru x chubby reader#megumi x reader#megumi smut#megumi fluff#toji x chubby reader#megumi fushiguro x chubby reader#toji fushiguro smut#megumi x chubby reader#toji fushiguro x reader#yuuta okkotsu x you#yuuta smut#yuuta x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#toji smut#toji fushiguro x chubby reader#jjk smut
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hii! hope youâre doing alright :))
can you do headcanons on chika takiishi(wbk)? like what would it be like dating him?
at the moment chika is not one of my favourites, but I'm pretty sure it will become in the next chapters... WHAT ABOUT HIS DESING? IT'S LITERALLY GORGEOUS HELP
đđ đđđđđđđđđđ
â Chika Takiishi in a relationship HCS ᥣđ©
We all know that Chika's character isn't exactly the most outgoing, so in a relationship he certainly won't be the talkative guy that many hope for. Will it open a little more? Yes probably, but nothing excessive
The trope I see closest to a relationship with him is the "sunshine x sunshine protector". You would literally be one of the safest people in the city if not the safest. He's there to protect you, but let's remember that Endo practically protects what his muse loves... so yes, you would practically have two bodyguards. Not that Chika particularly likes leaving you with Endo, but if he has to, he's the only one he wouldn't have too much trouble with
He would take you wherever he goes too, he's not particularly happy about leaving you at home for the simple reason that they might attack you directly when he's not there. Sure, seeing your boyfriend get into extremely violent fights with several people isn't exactly the best scenario, but as long as Endo makes you think of something else... it's okay
The others, including Yamato, don't dare say anything remotely insulting towards Chika. Is it out of fear? Absolutely yes. But you have a sort of pass, you are in a certain way free to tell him whatever you want... with a certain limit however
He is often seen wearing a lot of costume jewelry: like rings, earrings and necklaces. I have this little scenario in mind that, before he goes out, he steals some from your collection and puts them to have you with him somehow. He'll never admit it directly, but it's a very personal way for him to always have you with him even when you just can't come
He will never directly ask you for a hug, but if you ask him, he won't let go until he's satisfied. It could take a few minutes or even an hour, it depends on the mood
Your dates are mostly at your house or his, he's not a big fan of outdoor ones for the simple reason that he hates people staring at him. Despite having a small space, things can vary from a night playing video games, to a night watching a movie, or doing⊠yk. Although his favorite remains when you color his hair, he loves to see you concentrate while you paint the yellow on the ends of his hair
The bad thing about dating Chika is that even when dead he won't apologize, even if it's entirely his fault. You will have to be the one to do it, and if you don't do it either, it will take the way of: I pretend nothing happened and gradually everything goes back to normal, and maybe I give her some more attention. It works, so why change?
I see him as someone who loves kisses on the jaw. While he loves the ones on his lips or neck, his jaw is one place he doesn't know how to react to without maintaining his usual commanding look. He might even hug you if you do, but I would keep my expectations low
Chika is canonically 1.83cm tall, and I can see him a lot with a partner who is much shorter than him, like 1.50cm or a little more. Just for size reasons, his clothes would probably be a little loose on you, and even if he doesn't show it, he likes to see you in his fur coats or t-shirts when you wear them
#wind breaker x y/n#wind breaker headcanons#wind breaker imagines#wind breaker x reader#wind breaker#wind breaker x you#wind breaker hcs#chika takiishi#takiishi chika#wind breaker takiishi#takiishi x reader#takiishi chika x reader#chika takiishi x reader#wind breaker manga#wind breaker anime#chika x reader#takiishi chika smut#sakura haruka#suo hayato#endo yamato#hajime umemiya#nirei akihiko#mitsuki kiryu#wind breaker reader insert#wind breaker satoru nii#wind breaker fluff#wind breaker nii satoru#wind breaker masterlist#jo togame#choji tomiyama
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I saw someone say they finally realised why the liked c2 the least, and that made me realise why it stays my favourite.
Other than the fact that I just like all the PC's, I feel like the interpersonal relationships are more different and unique.
The party feels more like a found family, and in part Molly is to thank for that, his dead shocked everyone into closer relationships, but also it feels like all the characters and their backstories mattered more.
VM, other than Percy's story, always went for the overarching bigger events and they were motivated by backstories but they mattered less. Even without the connection of Thordak killing the twins their mom, they'd have gone after them.
And BH has also been guided by bigger things, Eshteross guided them first, and they kept getting pushed into directions then (I'm fuzzy on the details) and while the big story is also important to some of their backstories it still feels like it matters less.
But the M9 were always motivated by their backstories and it feels more like their own motivations made them stumble upon the big things, ending the war that didn't matter all that much to them, and the Somnovum was important, but they got there because of Molly, they ended the cult because of Yasha.
In a way it cements M9 also as really some assholes cause the big good things they did were done because of selfish reasons, but it just feels like the every time they were motivated by backstory beats. Going to the sea, going to Xorhas, going to Eiselcross, etc.
#critical role#cr meta#bells hells#vox machina#the mighty nein#mighty nein#Well i liked all PC's in campaign 2 other than Molly he died before I could like him
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â©ËïœĄâ đđđđđđ: đđđđđđ đđđđđđ đđđđđđđđ đđđđđđđđ.
below is a list of dialogue said by various characters , including villains , guards & doctors , & The Batman himself. this dialogue was gathered from the game wiki page , & compiled into a list for easy access & use. feel free to change names & pronouns as needed. do not add to the list , & always reblog from the source.
TW DISCLAIMER. this meme may contain potentially triggering content , pertaining to care of patients in the batman franchise.
" How did he get out? I mean, you're here and... "
" Some loyalty! Do you need any help? "
" You and your men are safer here. I'll find you if I need anything. "
" I saw the alert, what's wrong? Where are you? "
" I don't get it. This place is supposed to be secure. "
" Unfortunately, some of the patients will always try and escape. I'll stop them. "
" Thanks for the concern, officer, but it will take more than guns to stop me. "
" I'll take care of this. "
" Thanks. Let me know if you need backup. "
" Exactly. He's left me a trail to follow. He's alive. "
" You wait here. I'll be back. "
" You heard the lady. We've got another psycho on the way. "
" Keep your weapons trained on it at all times. "
" It's my favourite show. I'm Warden Idiot, You'll Never Escape'. "
" Just gotta check your prisoner. "
" You have to listen to me! It's a mistake. I didn't do it! "
" I've waited a long time for this, Bats. Let's start the party. With a BANG. "
" I think you need a little more...! Tell me, what demons do you have left to beat? Shall we see? "
" This isn't a simple escape attempt. Joker's been planning this. "
" Please help me! "
" You're going to be fine. Stay here. "
" Batman's here! Just hold on a little longer! "
" I want all the doctors rounded up. Search every inch of the Medical building. I mean it. "
" La la la la lu lu lu la! Hey! Scram, Bats! This is my me time. "
" Shut it and get down there with the others. MOVE IT!! "
" Batman's as good as dead. "
" The medical building is ours. No one's takin' it from us. "
" I can't wait to get outta here. This hospital scares the crap out of me. "
" Man, I hate the smell of hospitals. "
" Ain't hospitals supposed to be clean? This place stinks. "
" The room's clear. You're safe now. "
" Did they have anyone with them? "
" They took someone into the elevator, I couldn't tell who it was. "
" We'll be fine. "
" What about the others? We heard gunfire. They could be dead. "
" Batman, we've got another problem. "
" Why are you doing this? I have done exactly as you've asked "
" Look at me, you think I care? Stop your whining and listen good. "
" Keep quiet. I'm not sure how much more of your yapping I can take. "
" Bad publicity will effect his campaign for Mayor. "
" Don't speak. You're safe now. "
" What are you waiting for?! April Fools' day?! Get down there! "
" HE'S HERE! "
" Yeah. Big Bad Batman. C'mon, tough guy, come and get us. "
" Oh. Look at him, stuck out there. Ain't ya got a cat to rescue from a tree or something? "
" Yeah, that's right. Go on. Get lost. We're in control. "
" Is he dead? "
" I think so. "
" You may wanna do a quick head count. "
" BABOOM! Another one bites the dust. "
" Batman's as good as dead. "
" Yeah. Give us orders and then sit in your nice safe room while we fight Batman. Nice... "
" Batman? Can you hear me? Show yourself! "
" Oh, I'd like to thank my fans for their undying support, and the people of Gotham, who I will be seeing very soon. "
" I salute my fallen enemy. "
" Oh. Isn't that cute. Little Bat's a-sleepin'. Someone finsh him off. "
" That loser didn't stand a chance. I mean, look at me. "
" Gotta say. I thought you'd last longer. "
" Loser, Loser, Loser! "
" Bye bye, Bats! "
" Once again I have defeated you, Batman! "
" I will enjoy feasting on your bones. "
" Tick, tock. Feed the Croc. "
" And at the end of fear, oblivion. "
" Now madness takes you, forever. "
" You're dead and buried, darling. "
" Sorry, love, you're plucked. "
#â©ËïœĄâ rp memes.#roleplay resources#rp resource#roleplay meme#roleplay prompt#rp meme#rp prompt#batman prompts#sentence starters
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LIFE OVER DEATH - OT8 X MALE READER
warnings: suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, mentions of death, minor character death, mentions of neglectful parents, suicide of a past friend, mentions of self harm
A/N: I read Sunbeam by @james-is-here and I had an uncontrollable urge to write angst. Also, if you haven't read Sunbeam, I highly recommend it (make sure to have tissues tho). This fic is pretty angsty, and mentions some really heavy topics (which are in the warnings), so if you're uncomfortable with any of it, I'll see you in the next fic.
Mn finds himself on the edge of a bridge. The water sparkled with the city lights of Seoul. The wind in his hair made him look beautiful, despite the tears rolling down his cheeks. He let out a ragged breath, his sobs quiet from years of crying to himself and trying not to be heard.
He's always wanted to die young, not finding any appeal in living until he was old and grey. He wouldn't find anyone to spend it with anyway. He's been spending more time with the members lately, not wanting them to regret anything once he's gone. It made him see the beauty of life, but he convinced himself of this a long time ago. He tried not to think of how devastated the members would be.
He thought back to the time where his best friend texted him at 2am when they were both fifteen.
I love you so much. but I can't take it anymore. You're the best thing in my life, my favourite person, but I guess I'm too selfish to stay. I'll miss you.
He remembers rushing to his friend's house, his heart beating out of his chest, running fast to stop him, only to find him dead on the ground outside, having jumped from the roof.. He remembers knocking on that door to tell his friend's parents that their son was dead. He remembers how broken he was, his friend's little sister offering him a cupcake that he made.
But surely his members wouldn't be that affected. Right? He tried telling himself, but he knew it wasn't true. He knew how the members looked at him.
He's always been selfless, but he had the urge to be selfish right now. To not care about anyone else and just jump. What was pulling him back? He didn't know.
He couldn't do thisâŠhe shouldn't hurt the members like this. His parents have never cared, and all he had was his best friend. After he died, Mn didn't have a motivation to live. No one would've noticed if he was gone. That was until he joined Stray Kids.
He almost regrets being in Stray Kids. Sure, they gave him a reason to live, but that's exactly why he regretted them now.
He checked the time on his phone.
11:00 pm Saturday
Movie night. He thought of how long it would take for the news of his death to reach his members if he jumped now. The scars on his wrists were fading, and he made no attempt to darken them. Why hurt himself if he was going to die anyway?
Suddenly, his phone rang. It was Jeongin.
He smiled softly, seeing the maknae's contact name lighting up his screen, just like how that smile could light up his world.
"Innie, what's up?"
Mn tried to sound like he wasn't sobbing. He had a cold, he could probably blame his shaky voice on that.
"Hyung, are you going to be late? It's movie night."
Mn could almost hear the pout in the younger's voice, and he could hear Changbin's loud laugh in the background. His heart felt warm, and before he could even stop himself, he spoke.
"I'm on my way."
He was surprised at his own words. That wasn't the plan. But he wanted Jeongin to keep pouting without a care in the world, he never wanted Changbin's laugh to get any less louder.
"I'm near a convenience store, you want something?"
He must've been on speaker, as the person who spoke up was Jisung.
"Banana milk!"
Hyunjin's voice followed.
"Pocky!!"
Mn chuckled, crossing the road to get to the convenience store.
"Alright. I'll be back in a few."
I'll be back in a few. He didn't say that when he left the house. He was determined to end it all. But it's the little things, isn't it? Your friend's laugh, or simply getting a snack for them.
He realized the call hasn't ended yet when Chan's voice was heard.
"Mnie, you want barbecue or pepperoni?"
Mn's smile widened, and more tears rolled down his cheeks. Happy tears. He was stupid, thinking they wouldn't be too sad if he died.
"You know I'm a slut for barbecue."
He could hear Chan's little laugh at that statement. The laugh that could make the stars shine brighter.
"Mhm. Just wanted to make sure."
Mn didn't end the call as he entered the convenience store, knowing he'd go home with more than just banana milk and pocky.
It felt weird though, he was so sure he wouldn't return. But he was glad he would be going home. He was glad he chose to go home.
#stray kids x male reader#lee know x male reader#lee minho x male reader#bang chan x male reader#hwang hyunjin x male reader#stray kids x male reader fluff#stray kids x male reader angst#seo changbin x male reader#han jisung x male reader#kim seungmin x male reader#yang jeongin x male reader#felix x male reader#stray kids x member reader#stray kids 9th member angst#stray kids male member angst
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