#why am i so obsessed over this little australian man

[filmbropilled]

instead of brain in my head there's Leigh Whannell

[skylermadness]

A Gain in Power (Roquefort TF/MC/CRPT/HY)

(Original Date of Upload: February 5, 2023)

Original Description:

I may have written this in two days. I played Hi-Fi Rush a few weeks back and it's a very good game! Roquefort has been my TF obsession since then. Australian accent, corruption mood, robotic werewolf. All-in-all, really fuckin' hot and I needed to write a TF story of him as soon as possible. This story is a bit different to me, it's kind of experimental since I'm doing a lot of different things in it that I haven't before. Especially on the subject matter of hypnosis which I have never done in a story before up until now, much less non-consensual hypnosis that requires a lot of resistance. I think I did it kind of wonkily but I'm still proud of the end result nonetheless. The post-TF is definitely a little awkward though, I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go around there. Overall this is all just a bunch of new concepts that I haven't tried before, but I am trying now! And overall I still think it turned out rather well! Also the story title is a pun. I hope someone gets it.

   "I put my stock in futures… but not yours, kid."

   How many times has Gerald heard this line? It felt like about ten or so now. A little embarrassing to think about, really, the knowledge that it's been taking this many attempts to beat this boss.

   Left stick forward, light attack while the boss is still transforming…

   He wasn't really rhythmically inclined. That might've been the largest issue here, although even then the penalty never seemed that dire before. They were at least able to connect certain cues, especially with parrying, but something about this boss was… tedious, to say the least.

   Ignore the "Repeat" penalties, just go with what works. X, X, X, and… fail to time the last beat properly. Try again!

   Try again. That's what Gerald tells himself. All the other bosses were a walk in the park! Except maybe Mimosa but he didn't die to her as much as he died to this Roquefort fellow. Could it be the size? Could it be the irregular attack patterns? Could it just be that he's on Normal mode and should've just gone with Easy like his gut told him before this game started?

   25%, just as long as- Ugh, crap! The stupid dive attack always-

   He's not using his entire arsenal, is he? When's the last time he used Peppermint, or really called on any of the allies? He hasn't used a Special Attack in a long while either!

   Shit, why does the boss deal damage while swimming through the money??

   Maybe he should use more combos? Or actually try to be in beat? So many thoughts, so many things he could try and do. This boss shouldn't be this hard, it really shouldn't-

   Music's ramping up, Chai is near a fist, Roquefort's about to jump and dive at him, aaaaand… there!

   At least he's able to get a good few hits in when the boss is incapacitated. Although he himself is somehow at half HP. Maybe buying those things that increased his max health would've been a worthwhile investment.

   Grapple to him, somehow start an aerial attack, miss half the hits, the boss misses an attack that would've rushed towards him. Grapple again, forget to listen to audio cues, get hit, repeat. 50% health on Roquefort, about 45% on Chai…

   He sighs. He likely won't be winning this fight today, meaning it'd probably be a good time to give up and take a break after he inevitably loses this round. That's… fine (he's lying to himself). He needs to blow off some steam (he desperately wants to beat this boss before he ends this session).

   He gets hit again, a pang of fear emanating through him as he notices how low his health is. Roquefort's voice then echoes through Gerald's headphones. "Hmph. Giving up already? Weak."

   Is the game taunting him now? It usually only does that when he game overs. And that's a new voice line too. Usually he hears the man say 'Money is power!' or something every twenty seconds.

   The fight gets uneventful from here, maybe because Gerald is already sure he's losing. He's slipping. He's getting greedier with his attacks, he's trying to end things quickly when this isn't the game for that.

   "Ya ain't gonna use all that's at your disposal? This could have been over easily."

   There was something unnerving about the tone of that. Why did it feel so targeted? It was… discomforting. He didn't like that. 

   Another simple combo: X, X, X, and… ah, perfected that last hit for once! Excitement is fleeting, though. 25% on Roquefort, 20% on Chai. Even worse…

   "Prepare to get blown away!"

   …the QTE.

   The worst segment of the battle, if not the entire game as a whole. If his inability to get into the rhythm wasn't going to fuck things up, his inability to discern buttons at an ungodly pace would.

   They always went so fast. This didn't feel like the Space Channel 5 segment of Mimosa's fight that was just a bunch of calls and responses. This was what felt like an unfair rapid fire of required inputs. It hurt, it really hurt.

   He was pretty sure he didn't even get past the halfway point. His own health gets decimated in what feels like seconds.

   It's over. He lost.

   The screen steadily fades to black, except this time Chai is missing from it. The only additive the blank computer screen has is a short taunt from Roquefort.

   "Your struggling gets pitiful."

   The lack of Chai on the screen didn't really phase him. A part of him would've assumed it was one of those 'you die [x] amount of times and get an Easter egg' kind of things.

   Gerald sighs, staring at the black screen. A self-deprecating smile crosses his face. It was pitiful, wasn't it? Whatever, guess if the game was blanking he should take a break. He just has to wait for the option to Leave to show up.

   It never did, though. The screen remained black, and it did so for what felt like a long time. But those lengthy few seconds ended as something finally did appear on the screen.

   Steadily fading in from within the void was what looked to be a solid gold metronome. The pendulum seemed to already be active, swaying left and right to a soft, constant click that rang through the headphones.

   Left, click. Right, click. Left, right, left, right. The clicks that practically reverberated through his ears had mesmerized him. The swinging of the pendulum was practically hypnotic. He was so fixated that he didn't really notice the opacity of the metronome fade, the object solid on the screen of his computer.

   It was then that an all too familiar voice broke the audio immersion. "Beautiful, ain't it?"

   Gerald's eyes remained fixated on the pendulum, but his mind still functioned enough to speak. "Wh-huh…?"

   "It's a nice metronome. Costed a pretty penny too. But that ain't what I'm here for…"

   Gerald knew this voice. Thick Australian accent, a strange yet powerful tone to its demeanor. "Roque…fort?"

   "Heh, look who's on the money! Not as dumb as I was expectin', considerin' that pitiful performance of yours in our little… 'battle', if you could even call it that."

   Gerald wanted to blink. "I'm… sorry?" He wanted to articulate more than that. To ask what was going on, or how this was even happening. Yet the metronome, the swinging… left and right and left and…

   "I'm going to be blunt with ya', mate. You're weak. It's pathetic to watch, even more pathetic to endure when you're the one constantly tasked with fighting such a disappointment."

   "It was only ten… times. Wasn't that bad…"

   A sign echoes from Gerald's headphones. "You're that accepting of it, huh? You're even more of a disappointment than I thought. But I'm going to rectify that…"

   "What do you…?"

   "You need to be made stronger. You need to be made better! You… you need to be shown what true power feels like."

   The swinging of the metronome's pendulum starts to increase in speed. It's only subtle, but when it's the only thing the eyes focus on you can feel it.

   Gerald's jaw clenched. "I… I don't…"

   Roquefort cuts him off. "Let's start with that thing in your hand…"

   Eyes still unable to tear away from the metronome, Gerald couldn't see what was happening. The controller within his hand shook for a few moments, his grip slowly fading as the inanimate object seemed to shake at an increasingly faster rate. As the object convulsed, it seemed to melt in a way. Buttons lost their defining features and melded into the mass. Both sticks liquified into raised bumps on the strange lump of goo. 

   Once everything was smoothed out and gone the controller shape steadily compressed into itself, reshaping and losing all uniqueness to its features until it was a lumpy, black, gooey-looking sphere floating innocuously in his hands. Shortly after that, it began to reshape itself yet again. Lengthening horizontally, its sphere shape changes to something more slender. Getting longer still, one end shines with a gold coloration while the other end gains a T-shape to it thanks to two new blunted protrusions. After a few more seconds the object hardens, its material changing to a metal with a pure black coloration. The golden nub at the end shines softly while another bit of gold forms an inch beneath where the protrusions formed. 

   Gerald couldn't see it, but his controller had been morphed into a cane. It dropped into his hands, both of them curling around the strange new object. The metal felt cold.

   "What did you… do?" Gerald inquired, his eyes still trapped to the rhythmic swinging of the metronome.

   "I gave you something a little more… refined. It'll also allow what comes next to be easier. Now just sit back and accept this… gift, of mine."

   Gerald hissed as a sudden shock zapped his fingers from the cane. His entire body shivered in response, a strange feeling welling up inside it, meanwhile his hands started to go numb. He tried to move his head away from the computer, to look at what was happening, but it felt rooted. His eyes remained affixed to the metronome's swinging. "Ngh, need to break from… this trance-"

   He grunts as he tries to do so, and while that happens things begin to change in his body. The numbness in his hands was caused by their physicality being shifted. His skin started to take a darker tone as the warmth in it steadily dissipated, soft flesh hardening to a cool metal. His fingers softly twitched to the clicks of the metronome in his ears, each finger segmenting at the joints as the metal washed over them. At the same time his hands were beginning to increase in size, stretching out larger and bulkier; fingers getting thicker and blunted. 

   The twitching in his fingers gained a subtle mechanical whir to them, the now segmented joints gaining a black hue to them. A robotic feel seemed to wash over the entire area, his hand already having become a bronze coloration, perfect for its now entirely metallic composition. Small nubs had even emerged from his knuckles, hardening into an elongated hexagonal shape as they practically powered out with a light blue glow.

   A geometric line etched itself around both wrists as the changes to his cellular structure jumped to his forearms and beneath the sleeves of his hoodie. The region numbing, the bronze washing up them and the skin hardening to metal. Both forearms looked to bulk up in size as these absurd changes courses through them, sleeves steadily filling out with this new size. The internal muscles shifted to wiring and convoluted mechanisms while the bones hardened to a shining metal. Another line ran across the now metallic casing, bisecting it unevenly before moving to his elbows and segmenting them from his arms as well.

   The changes on his upper arms mirrored those in the lower arms perfectly. What were once his bicep and tricep muscles were replaced with inorganic, advanced technology; but still filled out the region and expanded it within his sleeves and stretched them out slightly. As his flesh shifted to metal it got bisected unevenly as well with yet another casing split. And as everything steadily reached his shoulders, his shirt got a bit more snug as the area got bulkier with mechanics that were once his deltoids filling his new metallic chassis. Lastly came one final casing split in the area separating his arms from his torso, the axilla, creating a clean divide between the limbs and his body.

   The numbness in his arms steadily faded, the areas feeling cold and lifeless. Yet he could still move them, albeit weakly since he wasn't acclimated to these new limbs. 

   "What are you doing to me…?" Gerald said, fear in his voice as he was still unaware of what his arms had become. They just felt cold and it was uncomfortable and terrifying.

   "Eh, I ain't one for keepin' shit like this a secret. I pity you, kid. You're weak, and all I'm doin' is fixing that for ya', like someone else did for me. I'm transforming you into the stronger one between us."

   Gerald was left confused. "Wha…?" Transforming him into the stronger one? Was Roquefort implying… 

   "Y-you're making me into… you…?"

   "Clever boy, you catch on quick! You'll be me in both body and mind… gives me chills just thinkin' about it! Usually I'm the one transformin', heheheh…"

   Roquefort was clearly enjoying this. Gerald, on the other hand, wasn't. He wanted to protest, but that could worsen an already bad situation for him. He just had to break away from staring at this damned metronome!

   He grunts again, trying harder to break away from this trance all while his body continues to change even more. The skin tone on his chest begins to shine a deep bronze while the warm skin itself reconstitutes into cold metal. His clothing fills up again as his entire body starts to expand, widening out to a larger width than it possessed before. His chest steadily rose up, previously unimpressive pectorals expanding into a larger and thicker size. A small dent formed where the cleavage would be while straight lines formed beneath his pecs and around his body to break the chassis apart and separate the upper body from the lower. Strangely, a bit of fluff formed on the midline of his chest, an attempt to give his chest some kind of chest hair. Three spikes of clumped fuzz poked from this new fluffy growth, stylizing it a bit.

   His back possessed less impressive changes than that of his front. While the smooth metal ran across the entire area, there were still slight segmentations like a pair of parallel ones, each split running roughly two inches away from his neck. Those splits stopped at the horizontal run that parted his body in half.

   In contrast to the implied musculature his body possessed, his belly changed in a different manner. Bloat filled it up, the hem of his hoodie riding up it as it grew thicker and fatter. It got a metallic sheen as it enlarged, the region seeming to segment four times at regular intervals in an attempt to give it a more mobile look. His hoodie continued to move upwards, revealing this segmenting and confirming his belly had swelled into a firm robo-gut. It steadily moved with his breathing, rising and falling slightly in its new larger size.

   Gerald felt this strange gain in weight, although at this point he was feeling a chill throughout his entire body. His torso felt like it was churning as well, his vestigial feeling strange as if they were warping around and shifting. Complex robotics were filling his body at a rapid pace, things shifting and changing within him as various systems of mechanics began to flow throughout his changing form. Soft glows emanated from the various holes in his casing, different colors representing all the new systems implemented to his currently cybernetic body. A soft red glow put his body's internal heating system online, filling it with some semblance of comfort in contrast to this slightly horrifying predicament. Then there was a soft blue glow that signified power fully coming online, Gerald slowly being able to move his hands properly as he tapped his fingers on the cane he was still grasping.

   Wait. He could move his hands.

   It was a momentarily glimmer of hope. Gerald was quickly able to unhand the cane and move his hands upwards to push his headphones off his head, the appliance slipping down to his neck after he did so. His eyes still remained fixed to the pendulum, but he could still reach his hand over and use the keyboard. Maybe if he forced a Ctrl+Alt+Del, he could…

   "Still resisting I see…" Roquefort's voice reverberated from his computer's speakers.

   The pendulum began to swing faster, and the speed was starting to feel disorienting. His fingers hovered above the keyboard, though. "I just have to-"

   "Hm. You'd usually be more intuitive than this, Roquefort."

   "What-"

   "You'd never do something so predictable."

   "You called me-"

   "Roquefort. That's your name."

   Gerald swallowed a lump in his throat. He knew that wasn't his name, but the weird confusion he's being given by the swiftly swinging metronome was making him feel strange. His hands started to inch away from the keyboard. "That… can't…"

   "Doesn't it sound so familiar though? Roquefort Wolfgang, Head of Finance at Vandelay Technologies."

   "Head of… Finance…" Gerald repeated, the last word in that sentence sounding slightly off. Sounding a pinch deeper, rougher. 

   "Good boy. Go on, think about it a bit more. Recall all you can…"

   Gerald's hands fully retracted away from the keyboard, the man giving a single nod as his eyes remained on the golden metronome. All he was given was being the Head of Finance at a technology corporation, but that seemed to be enough that he started searching his brain for information. Something about that had begun to feel so right to him it was… 

   "Urgh…"

   His head aches, things are feeling conflicted. It's both right and wrong… which ones which? Gerald shudders, his mind now in turbulence. As he tries to put the pieces together, the changes start moving downwards to his waist and below.

   His jeans were already in the process of straining thanks to his much broader form. The button held itself tightly as the zipper tried to keep itself together. His belt was doing quite a lot of work as well, although it was the only part of his attire that felt like it was properly constricting him.

   The region around his waist had strange shifts when it came to its casing. The region at the base of his spine seemed to gain an interesting mechanism within it. The region around his rear seemed to gain a strange way of segmenting while the roundness of his ass seemed to increase and fill the seat of his pants. If anything it looked like he had two round pieces of metallic plating.

   As with the rest of his body, the changes within his legs were effectively the same. Skin tone changing, skin composition morphing. Much like his arms, the casing of his thighs bisected unevenly. The internals of the area shifted to wiring and tubing and hard metal bones, the region bulking up as a direct result of that. Lines formed around the knees where the chassis cleanly broke for the joints to work. 

   Changes in the lower legs were effectively the same, although the casing splits seemed more vertical than horizontal, at least for the first half of it. Things reached an interesting change towards the lower half of his leg’s crus. While still possessing its newly metallic shifts, the color shifted to a darker red with thin black stripes running vertically downwards, giving them the weird look of emulating the visible portion of a pair of socks.

   This didn’t last for too long though as once everything flowed down beneath his shoes and onto his feet, a more drastic change occurred. A deep shade of black entered his feet, subsuming the fleshy tone of it and deepening it to something completely inorganic. The size of his feet steadily expanded, his footwear starting to bulge against the growing size of the appendages. A strange sleek smoothness entered the metal, nullifying any imperfections and exacerbating that feel of inhumanity in the area. His heels dug into the heels of his shoes as they hardened, ankles smoothing and digging into the sides. The soles of his feet swelled yet smoothed as they looked like they emulated the soles of a shoe more and more. The strangest change came to his toes, each one melding and squishing with the other as they smoothed out into the toecap of a shoe. 

   The size increase coupled with these strange developments resulted in the cloth of his already existing footwear to rip apart, revealing the sleek shining metal beneath. Even the shoe strings weren’t spared as the bridge of his foot grew a protrusion that acted as the tongue of a shoe, pushing the strings while they ripped against his changing feet. This new size of his feet allowed them to slightly break from the crus of his legs, making them appear to be separate articles of clothing from that of his weird socks. Even weirder was what was happening to the internals of his feet, bones and muscles morphing and rematerializing to become a strange internal mechanism of metal and wiring. Something had definitely formed beneath his feet-turned-footwear.

   All while this occurred, Gerald’s mind was in a confused rut. “M-my name is not… Roquefort? Is… it…?” As he stammered, his voice cracked. Deeper still, a huskier tone entering it through his doubts.

   A bright blue glow flickered into his irises, his head was pounding. He placed both hands on his head, the now slightly warm metal of his palms ebbing into his temples. Yet his eyes remained locked onto the metronome’s pendulum. Gerald’s voice temporarily returns to normal, a moment of clarity and resistance coming through. “Nnngh, n-no, have to…”

   “You’re stronger than this, Roquefort.”

   Ugh, that name. It feels more familiar every time it’s said. “My names- urgh, my name’s Ger… ald…?”

   Even with his resistance that name felt wrong. That declaration was wrong.

   “Stop actin’ so weak!”

   A growl practically exited Gerald’s throat. “I ain’t weak!” he said defensively, his voice running lower again, sounding more rough and powerful. An accent was even beginning to crawl in there.

   “Ooh, fightin’ back now are we. Finally showing some initiative!” The pendulum starts to swing at a faster pace again. A part of Gerald tries to look away again, but it feels so entrancing. “Come on, boy, repeat after me…”

   “Strength is valuable, financial strength is invaluable.”

   “S-strength is valuable… financial strength is invaluable…” The accent in Gerald’s voice gets stronger, noticeably Australian. This is accentuated by changes in his neck. A split in the metal circles around his neck as the deep bronze creeps up in. It slowly flows up his shifting skin, replacing it with metal as his neck widens.

   “Costs are all that matters.”

   “Costs… are all that matters.” His voice cracks less, getting overpowered by the deep huskiness of Roquefort’s. The value of strength, the value of money, both are filling his mind rapidly as well.

   “Money is power…!”

   “Money is… u-urgh-” Everything begins to waver for a split second. “N-no! Not… right… I’m not…”

   He was too far down the mental spiral though. Something about those phrases felt so accurate. Something about all of this felt so… right. He may have been weak before, but he was being granted this strength. Power. So much power, but so much knowledge as well. He could feel his mind filling with all that information needed for proper financial handling.  It would be rude to turn down such an 'offer' of high value being granted to him!

   “Would you like to try that again, Roquefort?”

   Gerald(?) lets out a low chuckle. “Of course. I ain’t one to give up so easily!~” he said with a smirk.

   They both then spoke in unison.

   “Money is power!”

  At this point the metal had gone up from his neck and started to etch onto his face. The pale tone of his flesh is ebbed away as it’s replaced by the bronze, just like it was with the rest of his skin. As his organic flesh was being converted to artificiality, the structure of his face changed entirely. His jawline smoothed and sculptured itself, roundness sharpening into a more angular shaping. His entire head seemed to get slightly larger, the shape of it squeezing slightly to appear slightly rectangular. His nose got wider and blunt. Eyes got smaller, edges sharper. Eyebrows got thicker and bushy while getting slightly crooked at the end. Even his ears got slightly altered as they became slightly pointed. 

   The robotic nature of his new form became more clear as the last of his skin was subsumed by the bronze mental. The chassis that made up his head was divided in two right on his face, a split running above his cheeks and stopping beneath his bottom eyelids. It started back up at the upper eyelids and created a clean trapezoidal shape that ended on his forehead. Roughly an inch above the split diagonally came two protrusions that poked from his head, slowly hardening into a definitive hexagonal shape before alighting with a bright blue.

   The last of his physical changes came with his hair. He raised a hand to the apex of his scalp and, in one fell sweep, wiped a good chunk of his hair off the top of his head and left it with a significant bald spot. What remained around his head started to restyle itself, straightening and combing itself together as it changed into a style that prominently poked out both sides of his head (alongside a tuft that poked out the back). Large tufts of hair that from a frontal view looked like the pointed ears of a wolf. All the while, the coloration was becoming a deep brown. Stripes of gray had also etched into his hair, starting at one temple and stretching around the back of his head all the way to the other.

   Brown fluff then started to trail further down the sides of his head. Growing on the sides of his jaw and flowing downwards onto his chin. The further down it went the thicker this new beard seemed to get, the style also seeming perfectly angular to that of his jawline. Fuzz had also arisen towards the ends of his mouth, moving upwards to above his upper lip and then running sideways to meet underneath his nose. A nice thick mustache was what graced that region as a result.

   The changed man couldn't help but give his beard a nice stroke. His eyes, still fixated on the pendulum, had also gained a glowing blue coloration in their irises.

   "Feelin' a lot better…" he spoke with a smirk. His new mindset felt right at home in his head. Some would say it's greed, but he's just making the choices that bring the most profit. That's what he did to that weakling after all. Gave them the form that was most profitable. So much stronger, so much better.

   For once he blinked. He had no reason to take into account that metronome anymore. As far as he was concerned, he was done with it. Almost. A few finishing touches have to be done after all.

   Finally broken from the screen, Roquefort looked down at his body. A hoodie, some jeans, a pair of headphones hanging off his neck. He pushed the chair he was in back and kicked off the tattered remains of his previous selve's old shoes. His cane had also found itself on the floor, likely due to whatever futile resistance he had also tried to put up. Whatever, he needed something more refined.

   He stood up from his chair and picked up his cane, a hand grasped onto the handle firmly. "Now that that little distraction has been dealt with, I have some work to get back to doing."

   The tip of his cane touched the ground, both portions of gold that were on it glowing in response to his desires. The room had rapidly started to shift, reality warping around him as deep purple unfurled on the carpet while bright golds and rich wooden browns formed around the walls and ceiling. The room around him was getting significantly larger.

   At the same time, his clothing was undergoing its own changes. His hoodie started to split down the middle, buttons emerging along this split. The hood receded as the neck deepened into a deep V shape, the hem raising to a smaller V shape. The sleeves retracted into the hoodie, leaving it sleeveless and marking it more as a vest now. Lastly came the coloration, a rich purple color soaking into it as thin white stripes formed.

   Concurrently, a new shirt seemed to form beneath his changing hoodie. As the hoodie sleeves retracted a new set of sleeves, white in color, unfurled from beneath the vest and ran down his arms before rolling themselves up to above his elbows. The neck deepened, the hem shrunk, and the new shirt materialized across his body. Its hem went over his rounded belly and tucked itself into his pants, a buttoned up shirt placket noticeably visible from the middle of it. As the neck of his hoodie finished descending, a rather large collar unfurled from the shirt beneath and splayed itself across his chest. The neck of his shirt collar was deep enough that his chest fluff was visible. The headphones that were strewn across his neck thinned, shrinking and snaking around his neck as the black coloration shifted to a red and pink striped pattern. It got slightly longer, tying itself into a loose knot before it finished changing into a tie.

   The final change came with his jeans, denim softening to a nice purple cotton while the pockets became larger and more noticeable. A jagged yellow stripe ebbed into the material at the base of his legs as well. His belt got slightly wider and loose enough that it fit around his waist properly. The buckle expanded, a normal belt buckle enlarging to a thick chunk of silver with a gold V in the middle. Two silver V shaped notches had also formed next to two belt loops while another formed on the portion of his belt above his rear. A strap slowly snaked from the back notch, snaking upwards before branching out diagonally and slithering to the front of his body. From there the straps went downwards and connected to the two frontal notches, giving his pants some suspender straps.

   One final finishing touch to his attire was a monocle that materialized in front of his right eye. With a sigh, he adjusted his monocle before placing a hand around a suspender strap. "Finally, something that fits. Now for…"

   He looked around, the room continuing to expand around him. The walls were lined with various bouts of information; one side holding stock info and graphs while the other held a vault door with multiple clocks hanging above it. Chandeliers draped from the ceiling while portions of the carpet leading up to his newly materialized desk were lined with samurai armor in glass casing. At this point the room has become ginormous, a lot larger than himself (at least while he's human).

   "There's my office!" he says with a smile. The walls finally harden, the massive wall behind him having become a door with a massive golden V on it. In front of him was his desk, a few holographic screens being projected from the top of it. More importantly…

   At the middle of the desk was a metronome. An object Kale had given him months ago, one he didn't really care for necessarily. He didn't expect to use it up to now, but he would be lying if he said he didn't welcome what he had just used it for. It was… interesting to say the least.

   Roquefort looked down at his hand, curling and uncurling his fingers over his palm. "Hmph. This feels good. Strong. I think I'm going to be enjoying this…"

   Of course he's going to be enjoying this. Admittedly, his mind has become an odd mesh of knowing of his former self and having always been this self. It's contradictory. Confusing, admittedly. He'd never really do this kind of thing again, that was for sure.

   He looks up and stares at the screens on his desk. He has a meeting with Kale in a few hours, then he has to deal with Zanzo and their annoying creativity budget bullshit. They could've sworn they dealt with that already, damn it.

   "Time to get back to work, then!" Roquefort said aloud, pulling his chair forward and taking a seat on it. 

   He's got a lot of work to go through now, and something about that makes him smile. The financial control, the profits to be gained, and all that money.

   This is going to be good…

[plussizewritersworld]

“This town isn’t going to know what hit them.” Jerry said to Y/N.

“What exactly are we being hit with?” She asked.

“Formula One is being hosted here, a great sport.” Jerry was currently driving himself and Y/N to their town's City Hall to drop off banners and signs that she and he were working on for this sport.

“I still have no idea what you are talking about.” She told him.

“Racing Y/N, all those banners you have been slaving over for the past month are for the teams that are racing.” He said. He pulled into the parking lot of the building and put the truck in park. “I know you don’t get out much from that art studio but there is a huge track right down by Geller’s Mill and they get here tomorrow.”

“Yes I have noticed that Jerry thank you. I just didn’t think it was for something that is so called important.”

“It’s a televised sport Y/N…ESPN…your artwork is going to be seen around the world.” He explained. “Not only that but my hotel is hosting them…our businesses are going to blow up from this.” Y/N would be lying if she said that wasn’t cool. She has been working hard to advertise her shop and work but when living in a small town, you don’t get much publicity besides the internet.

“Well then, I guess we better show them how great our little home is.” She said and smiled.

The next day their small town went from quiet and peaceful, to large crowds coming in from all around the states so see this race. Y/N stood nervously beside Jerry as the two waited in the entrance of his hotel for these pro racers.

“Do you think the tie is too much?“ Jerry asked.

“You look very handsome Jerry…relax because you aren’t helping my nerves.” She told him. The two heard the sounds of voices starting to enter the hotel, the voices were brought to life when a large group of men entered.

“Welcome gentlemen!” Jerry greeted. “Any bags please sit on the trolleys and they will be taken to your rooms.”

“Thank you, this place is nice, very bed and breakfast like.” One man said, his accent was a thick Australian accent. “I’m Daniel Ricciardo.” He introduced shaking Jerry’s hand.

“Oh I know, big fan…big fan of all of you...I am Jerry.”

“I…I don’t know you so it’s nice to put a name to the face.” Y/N spoke. Daniel looked down at her, from the moment she locked eyes with him, she felt her knees want to buckle.

“There are a lot of names to remember…may I ask yours?“

“Y/N…Y/N L/N.”

“I will definitely remember that name.” He said and winked at her. “Oi Lando! Watch where you just toss my bags mate!” He shouted at the younger man.

“Please get settled, your room keys are here, labeled by names, if you have any needs or questions just call them at the front desk and I or someone else will be here to help.” Jerry explained. The large group all nodded and said their thank yous before finding their key and heading to their rooms.

“He is just a major flirt…the moment he opened his mouth I could tell.” Y/N said to Jerry as they organized his front desk.

“Oh you had those little doe eyes the moment he walked in.”

“There is nothing little about me Jerry, which is why he was flirting. It is easy to make a girl of my size swoon over you, which is what he wanted.”

“Where the hell did you hear that?” He asked.

“It’s just a fact…common knowledge. You wouldn’t know because you are too obsessed with Katherine Wills.”

“I’m going to marry that girl one day.” He said confidently.

“I know and I will help you do that.”

“That is why you are my best friend.”

That night when Jerry no longer needed Y/N’s help at the Hotel, she went to her art studio to do work on some commissions that needed to be completed soon. As she began to paint she began to wonder about her and Jerry’s conversation early that day. She meant by what she said, fat girls are easy to flirt with and if any girls were like her, they would give in to any attention that was given. All through high school she was single, never was asked on dates, went to prom with Jerry who she had known since Preschool, and just never caught anyones eye. She learned to be content with it. Now as an adult it did start bothering her, she sees everyone around her dating, getting engaged, or starting a family. She wanted that. She wanted the happy ending you see in a romance movie or read in a novel.

“It is drink-o-clock!“ She heard her front door of the studio open and her best friend's voice echoing, she set down her paintbrush and sighed.

“I am swamped Jerry.” She told him.

“You look like you came out of the swamps.” He teased referring to her clothes which were covered in paint, her hair in a messy bun. “Katy is going to be at the bar tonight, please come with me.” He begged. Y/N was a sucker when it came to Katherine and Jerry, both have clear feelings for each other, but both oblivious to it.

“I love hanging out with Katy so yes I will come.” She agreed. “Let me just lock up and we can go.”

The bar was the hang out for the young adults, with the town being so small, there wasn’t much to do. Jerry entered first and immediately went to order the two beers, Y/N saw Katy alone sitting at a table. She quickly went over and sat beside her.

“Oh Y/N thank goodness you are here.” Katy said to Y/N. “I was supposed to meet Kenny here but he bailed like usual.”

“Well…Jerry is here too…which here he comes.” Katy instantly grew red. Katy has been seeing Kenny Lewis on and off since freshman year in high school. He was the town football star that never made it.

“Ladies, I saw you didn’t have a drink so I got you one too.” Jerry told Katy, handing them both a beer.

“Oh thank you Jerry. Oh Y/N Mama was just askin, about you.” Katy said. “She heard from that man in California who wants you to send samples of your work.” Y/N’s eyes widened. She looked at Jerry in excitement.

“I owe your Mama the world!“ Y/N shouted.

“I think this calls for some shots.” Jerry said. The bar door opened and the room went silent for a moment. It was a couple of the racers, Daniel leading the group. Jerry waved them over and instantly Y/N sat down and went quiet. “We are just about to order celebration shots, y’all in?” Jerry asked the men.

“What are we celebrating?“ One asked.

“My girl over there.” Jerry said pointing at Y/N. All eyes were on her and she wanted to crawl below the table to just avoid the staring.

“Oh, I’m George Russell by the way, this is Max Verstappen, Daniel Ricciardo, and Lando Norris.” George’s accent made it clear he was from the UK. Jerry left to get the shots, leaving Y/N to have to do the talking, thankfully Katy was still there, and knew Y/N.

“I’m Katherine, I just told Y/N here that a man in California wants her to send some of her artwork to him.”

“You’re an artist?“ George asked.

“Trying to be. I own L-Little Wonders Studio.”Y/N answered.

“She also made those banners for your little race.” Katy added.

“You did those?” Daniel asked her, she looked at him and nodded her head. “They look amazing.”

“Thank you.” Y/N said.

“Shots for everyone!“ Jerry shouted, returning with a tray full of shots. “I know you two ladies aren’t a fan of whiskey so peach vodka it is.”

A couple hours later, a few more rounds of shots, and endless beers, Y/N was more than relaxed and more talkative. Daniel, Lando, Katy, and herself found themselves playing around a pool.

“I am terrible at this.” Y/N laughed trying to hit the white ball at the yellow stripe ball.

“It would help if you hit the right ball in.” Daniel laughed and moved her pool stick to aim and the fully colored red ball. “Should I be regretting my choice in picking you as a partner?“

“One hundred percent.” She laughed. “ But…I will try to win.” She lowered herself and aimed the stick, after a couple seconds she pushed the stick slightly and the white ball rolled straight past the red ball in which she was aiming for. She put her head down in defeat.

“I take it we win?” Katy asked.

“That’s a win for us!“ Lando shouted.

“Jerry, I won!“ Katy ran over to Jerry who was talking to Max and George.He wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled.

“Are they a thing?“ Daniel asked Y/N. In Y/N’s mind she instantly felt like Daniel wanted to make a move on Katy, which normally always happened.

“Um…I want to say yes. It’s that kind of situation where they both are madly in love with each other but neither one will make a move. Plus Katy still sees this guy from high school sometimes.” Y/N explained. Daniel nodded his head.

“What about you?” The question took her off guard, how was she supposed to say that she has always been single and never dated?

“There is nothing to really-work that keeps me too busy.” She lied, she picked up her beer and took a long gulp.

“With the Pool skills that you…I find that hard to believe.” He teased her. She shook her head and smiled.

“Not all of us are born athletes…are you excited for the race?” The two made their way to a table to sit down and chat.

“Always, it’s nice to have a couple days off before it though…that never happens.”

“I will be honest, I have never even heard of Formula One till I was told to make the banners.” She admitted. “I tried looking into it but nothing was making sense to me except for the fact that you drove around.”

“Oi yeah there is much more than that…but that’s okay it’s not your fault , I can teach you everything there is to know.”

“How kind of you -“

“Katy! The hell?“ Daniel and Y/N both looked towards the direction of the yelling.

“Oh boy.” Y/N got up and went over to Katy who was on the verge of tears. She took Katy away from the group and towards the bathroom to avoid Kenny but failed.

“You can’t be trusted to go out without guys just swarming your huh?!” Kenny shouted a few of his buddies with him. Katy turned around, her tears disappeared.

“It’s not like that…” When it came to Kenny, Katy always tried to justify him.

“Well I know they aren’t here to swarm Y/N.” Y/N looked down at the hurtful comment, his buddies laughing. “Is Jerry here trying to steal my girl?” Jerry stood up, ready to get rid of Kenny.

“We are just hanging out Kenny.” Jerry told him. “Clearly you are already drunk and should just go.”

“Let’s go Katy.” Kenny ordered. Katy was about to follow but Y/N gently took her hand stopping her.

“He’s drunk Katy, you are safer here.” Y/N told her.

“Take advice from the cow that’s real smart Katy, how about you tell her about what you say about her when she isn’t around?“ Y/N knew he was drunk and would say anything to get a rise out of them. “What about what Jerry boy here said?” Y/N looked at Jerry confused.

“Shut up Kenny.” Katy warned, which made Y/N think something really was said. Y/N let go of Katy and backed away.

“Did I miss something?” Y/N asked.

“God no, he’s being an ass like usual…Kenny go home.” Katy told him.

“Find better friends Y/N. These two seem to think you are holding them back.” Kenny told her, looking directly at Y/N. “What did you say exactly Jerry? You could have moved on but instead you're obligated to stay?“

“Jerry?” Y/N asked.

“He’s twisting the conversation up that we had, that's all.” Jerry confessed. “We just mentioned that with you being on your own and-“

“I never asked you for help, or to stay-for anything, from either of you.” She felt embarrassed. Everyone was witnessing this. “Um…I-I’m going to go.” She grabbed her belongings and rushed out of the bar, ignoring the calls from Jerry and Katy.

She went straight to her studio, her place of solitude. In the back she pulled out the pieces she was sending to the man in California. It made her think. Was this going to be her big break? Was she going to be able to leave this town and truly begin her career, or would it be another let down and she would have to start from square one again? She started to think about how she could have been holding Jerry back, even Katy. When her grandparents died a few years back she didn’t have anyone except them two, but she never asked them for anything, just their support in anything she did, like she did with them. She has always been able to pay her bills, work, and survive.

She heard the front door of the studio open and she quickly went out prepared to see Jerry and Katy. It wasn’t them, which hurt, instead it was Daniel. She was expecting to see him.

“Hope you don’t mind me stopping by.” He said.

“N…no of course not.” She replied. “Hi.”

“Hi-uh…felt bad with how things went down back there and no one was coming so I figured I would…see if you are alright.” She looked down and nodded her head.

“I’m okay, I’m sorry you guys had to be there for that. Definitely not something we would want you to remember our town for.”

“Don’t apologize. Everyone has something going on. We aren’t perfect either.” He began to walk around and look at the pieces hanging on the wall that she had made. She began to get nervous, she knew being an artist she should be used to everyone seeing her work, but she was also afraid of criticism.

“You shouldn’t have left because of me.” She told him.

“Nah, it got pretty awkward and I don’t really like tension like that…you got some really nice work.”

“Thank you.” She smiled.

“What are you sending to California?“ He asked.

“They are back here.” She led him to the back of her shop and presented her work, four canvas paintings she had been working on for a year, only the fourth one wasn’t complete. Each one represented a key person in her life. “The first one is my parents which are two foggy silhouettes because I never really knew them, the second is my grandparents represented as gold because they raised me, shaped me into who I am, and the third is Katy and Jerry who are blue because I find the color blue peaceful and I always find my peace when I’m with them.” She explained.

“The fourth?” He asked.

“Not done…I have been struggling with that one.” She admitted.

“Really amazing Y/N.” He told her. “Your look on people…I admire that.” She looked up at him, taking in his words, once again feeling like a high schooler with her first crush.

“I don’t want to take people in my life for granted. Time can be short and I know the way I left the bar made it seem like I was angry with Katy and Jerry…really I would never want to make them feel like I am preventing them from doing anything, just want what is best.”

“What about what’s best for you?”

“I always say leaving here would be best but really I think it’s just finding what makes me happy…which is art, no matter where I am.”

“Do you want to see the track?” He asked her.

“What?”

“Let’s go see the track.”

“Are we allowed to?”

“I don’t see why not.” He replied, Y/N did not like that answer.

He refused the answer No for answer, which ended Y/N up at the track. She was amazed by how big it really was. She had no idea how much work was actually put into building it. He led around what they called the paddock. She looked around amazed by the view, and when she saw his car, it was even more amazing.

“This car…it looks very complicated.” She looked inside.

“If you don’t know what you are doing, then yes it can be.”

“How long have you been racing?” She asked.

“Over ten years with Formula One…you really haven’t heard of us before?” He asked.

“I don’t watch sports, plus when I did hear about it, I thought what could be so cool about cars going around in a circle…like what’s that other one called?”

“NASCAR…wow you really just said that.” She quickly began to apologize, meaning to insult his career.

“I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean it like that-“

“It’s alright, I’ll let it slide this time.” He teased her. “I want to show you something.” He took her hand without warning and led her out of the paddock and towards what she heard Jerry mention a couple times, the podium. She nervously followed him up to where three winners would stand.

“My favorite spot to be.” He told her. “In the center, fans cheering, all eyes on you.” He helped her up to stand on the center one. She looked down at him and smiled.

“I wouldn’t be able to handle all the eyes on me.” She told him.

“How about just mine then?” Her face grew red with embarrassment , she quickly got down and looked at her feet. “Do compliments make you nervous?”

“You make me nervous.” She admitted, forcing herself to look up at him.

“Why?” He took a step closer to her, closing the gap between them. Her thoughts were clouded by his presence being so close to her, it wasn’t till he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her closer that she realized what was happening. She quickly snapped to reality and placed her hands on his chest to stop him.

“I’m sorry…this-we should go.” She told him. He let her go and cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Y-yeah alright, it’s getting late.” She nodded her head in agreement.

What was she thinking? What was he thinking? Was he really going to kiss her? Would she have let him? She laid in her bed, unable to actually fall asleep, she needed advice, she needed to tell someone what happened, she needed her best friends. She reached for her phone and sent them a text in their group chat. Immediately she got an answer. She climbed out of bed and changed into sweat pants and a sweater to meet Jerry and Katy at her studio.

“What’s wrong?” Katy was there already waiting at the front door.

“I will explain inside when-“

“I came as quickly as I could.” It was Jerry running up to the girls. Y/N unlocked the studio door and the three of them went inside. “What is going on?“ Jerry added.

“I am really sorry it is late and considering what happened at the bar I didn’t even think you would come.” Y/N said. She reached into her small little fridge and pulled out three beers.

“I didn’t think you would have reached out to us…I am glad you did.” Katy said and smiled.

“I am too…something happened earlier today.” Jerry and Katy both remained silent, waiting for the story. “Daniel was here, he came after I left…and he ended up taking me to the race track.”

“You-him-you actually went?“ Jerry asked.

“We talked a lot, and then…I think he was going to kiss me.”

“Y/N! So he didn’t kiss you?” Katy asked excitedly.

“I stopped him. I got nervous and I had never kissed anyone before and I started to think of all these reasons why I did the right thing in not letting me kiss him.” Katy shook her head. “He could be just looking for a small fling while here, using me for who knows what-“

“Stop right there. Even if he was just looking for a fling…you should have just let him.” Katy told her.

“Remember what I told you Jerry?“ Jerry looked down sadly. “I fell right into that trap.”

“What trap?” Katy looked confused.

“She seems to think that girls of the bigger size are easy to flirt with because they accept any sort of attention-“

“Which I have come to terms with, but I won’t allow myself to let that happen…which I almost did…I could see myself falling hard for him but I also could see myself getting hurt.” Katy took Y/N’s hands into her own.

“My Mama always told me to take chances. Never miss any opportunities that could be given to you, even when it comes to relationships. You have this handsome man taking interest in you, don’t let something that could be the biggest adventure in your life slip away because of your own insecurities.” Katy looked over at Jerry, who was looking away, avoiding her gaze. She looked back at Y/N. “People enter our lives for a reason, it could be good, bad, forever, or just for a moment…but we still had them at one point.”

“I don't want to get hurt.” Y/N whispered.

“If that happens we will be right here to mend you up…they have two days till their race festivities begin .How about we show him what kind of fun we like to have.” Katy suggested. Y/N smiled and nodded her head.

“Jerry, would you like to go on a double date?” Katy asked him. He looked at her like a deer in headlights.

“S…sure, of course.”

“Then it’s settled, Jerry, when you see Daniel tomorrow morning I need you to set the plans and us ladies will meet you.”

“Oh I have to plan it?” Jerry asked. Katy looked at Y/N in annoyance. “I can…I just wanted to be sure.” Jerry quickly stuttered.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror. Katy dressed her in a yellow sundress and white small heels. Daniel agreed to go out with them, she had no idea what Jerry had planned, he was probably just as nervous seeing as he was finally going on a date with Kathrine. Katy was the one driving, she was just in the dark but she didn’t show any sort of sign that she was nervous, Y/N wished she was like her. The confidence Katy had was something Y/N would admire.

“That man really is something.” Katy said as they pulled into the parking lot of the bowling alley.

“I think it’s a great idea, and when was the last time we actually went bowling?“ Y/N asked.

“Senior year of high school…Kenny ditched me.”

“And who was there to replace him?” Y/N asked, smiling. Katy looked at her.

“Why do you think I asked him to plan this Y/N? This is a real date for him and I too…I inspired myself as well last night with my speech.” Y/N shook her head and laughed. “You look very pretty by the way.” Katy added.

“So do you.”

The two girls entered the bowling alley and many memories of their younger days were instantly brought back. Now being adults they didn’t have time to really go out and have a night of fun that did not consist of just the bar. They went to the counter and got their shoes.

“Over here!” They heard Jerry shout, both girls looked and saw Jerry and Daniel already at a lane with a couple pictures of beer. Y/N grew extremely nervous the moment she saw Daniel. He looked really handsome with a big smile on his face. The two girls approached and greeted them both.

“We got the beers and the teams sorted out.” Jerry announced. “Katy and I, Y/N and Daniel.” Y/N nodded her head and sat down to put on her shoes. Daniel said beside her.

“I have seen your pool skills…how are your bowling skills?” He asked her. She leaned up from putting in her shoes.

“I am a pro at bowling…my record is seventy six…going to try and break the record and get at least one hundred.” She joked.

“Alright hot shot, let’s see if you can win us a game then.” She nodded her head and smiled. She was the first to go up and grabbed the lightest ball. She lined herself up in the lane and positioned herself. She moved her arm back with the ball, aimed, and released, straight into the gutter.

“That’s okay, just a warm up.” Daniel said, clapping. He got up and picked Jed another ball. “Try this ball.”

“It’s too heavy.” She told him.

“That’s a good thing though, trust me.” She took the ball with two hands and turned back around. “Here, try standing like this.” He placed his hands on her hips which she wanted to move away from him but she didn’t, she remained still. “It’s all about where your arm is when you release that ball.” He stood close against her, guiding her arm back. She felt his breath against her neck as we leaned down to her height. He had his hand placed on top of hers as they both released the ball, without him moving an inch they watched as the ball hit the pins, creating a strike. She turned around excitedly to him.

“Thank you.” She said to him, moving away from how close they were. He took notice and also moved away.

“Alright, watch the real pros do this.” Katy said getting up and getting a ball. Y/N sat down and poured herself a beer into her empty cup. Daniel sat beside her and took a gulp of his own.

As the night went on, Y/N felt herself relaxing more. She and Daniel didn’t talk much, but they were winning, thanks to him, eventually they did win.

“Oh Jerry…we have to get your game up.” Katy said, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry but who scored a one-eighty. It surely wasn’t you.” Jerry laughed. She gently smacked his arm. Y/N watched as her two best friends were enjoying their first date together, though was it really their first date? She took a sip of her beer and looked down at the floor.

“Did you have fun?” Daniel asked her.

“I did.” She replied, she felt like she didn’t have the words to say. She was getting nervous again.

“Can we go talk for a bit?” He asked her. “Maybe outside?” She wanted to say no, she wanted to forget what happened the other night, she wanted to just move on.

“S…sure.”

The two excused themselves and she followed him outside to where it was quiet and they were alone.

“I want to apologize for last night. If I made you uncomfortable or anything…that was never my intention.”

“N-no it wasn’t that. It’s hard to explain and even if I did…it wouldn’t really…I just-“

“Jerry told me. He told me not to say anything but I felt like-“

“What did he tell you?” She asked, interrupting him.

“Just about your insecurities and worries about what my intentions are toward you.” She looked down, wishing this conversation wasn’t happening. “I can see why you did what you did last night not letting me kiss you, but I wish it wasn’t because you think I am using you or anything.”

“What are your intentions?” She bluntly asked. “I have never put myself out there and I feel like if I did it would be for no reason…it can’t be because you like me. You don’t even know me…it’s not like this can really be anything if that’s even what you want.”

“I do like you which is why I want to get to know you, that’s what dating is.” He defended.

“You have traveled the world, seen and met so many different people. What about me is so different?”

“Why are you holding me to standards? You think because I am a pro athlete that I want to pursue supermodels…I don’t see the world like that. I am not some superficial guy.” She wasn’t sure why, but she felt like crying, she felt like she made a fool of herself, he could tell she was getting worked up. His face softened and he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry.” She told him.

“Don’t apologize for the way that you feel. I completely understand, I just want you to see that one hundred percent honest and genuine.”

“I don’t want to get hurt.”

“I would never hurt someone like you, not intentionally, but that doesn’t mean I will hurt because I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn’t happen.” She looked at him, seeing if he meant every word. “Let me treat you for the next few days like the way you should be treated…starting with another game of kicking their asses.” She smiled and nodded her head. He took her hand in his and led the way back inside. Y/N quickly stopped him when the two approached Jerry and Katy who were just about to kiss.

“We leave the kids alone for a few minutes and this happens.” Daniel announced, Jerry quickly pulled away from Katy, his face beat red.

“This is why I said they needed a chaperone Daniel.” Y/N added. “These kids these days just can’t keep it in their pants.” Y/N sat down and refilled her cup.

“I’m thinking of no phones for a week…grounded…extra chores.”

“Are you two done yet?” Katy asked, rolling her eyes.

“I’m sure I can think of a couple more.” Daniel joked and the four of them laughed.

The night ended better than Y/N expected. She was tired and ready to go home.

“I’m going to drive Katy’s car home, she is drunk and I would feel better knowing she got home.” Jerry told Daniel and Y/N. He helped a slightly drunk Katy to her feet and wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her steady.

“I don’t mind driving you home.” Daniel said to Y/N.

“Text me when you get her home.” Y/N told Jerry.

The drive home was quiet, she stared out the window till she heard the radio come on.

“I love this song.” He began to tap the steering wheel, a huge smile on his face. She looked at him, she couldn’t help but smile as well. “Tell me you know the words.” The song was Happier by Bastille, it was one of her favorite songs.

“I love it too, a top favorite actually.” He began to sing along with the song, looking over at her. “I won’t sing though.” She told him. He looked at the road and then back at her.

“Come on…I need a partner.” He pushed. She shook her head and laughed. “I know you want to, it’s bubbling inside.” She looked out the window and then back at him, she gave in and began to sing along with him. The two sang together till they reached her house. He put the truck in park and the two then we’re once again in silence.

“I had fun tonight…thanks for teaching me how to bowl.” Y/N broke the silence.

“Thank you for letting me…for giving me a chance.” She looked down and fiddled with her fingers.

“I am sorry for assuming anything about you. I was just scared…guys don’t take interest in me and when they do it is just for a joke.” She told him.

“I can assure you that I am not treating you or this as a joke. I really do like you.” He assured her, she looked at him and nodded her head. He got out of the car and then opened her door to help her out. She took his hand and the two walked to the front door of her house.

“Tomorrow we start our practices on the track…after that would you like to go get dinner?” He asked her.

“Yeah I would like that.” She answered, he leaned down and kissed her gently on the cheek. “Goodnight.” She whispered.

“Goodnight.” He smiled.

The days leading up to his main race flew by, but they spent every moment they could together. She got to know Daniel more and more, and the more she did, the more she was falling for him. All these concerns started to arise in her head. He was the day after the race. It wasn’t till she was standing in the paddocks with Jerry and Katy that it was really going to be ending soon. Even with all the commotion of the race, she felt like all she could hear was silence.

“This is so exciting…I have been dying to catch a race in person and now here we are, in the heart of it all.” Jerry said.

“Not my cup of tea.” Katy disagreed. “Though it beats sitting in the stands.” Daniel was already out on the track. The race was about to begin.

“Show more enthusiasm girl, your man is out there.” Katy joked nudging Y/N. Was he her man? We’re they a thing? Are they going to be a thing?

After the race Daniel ended up in sixth place, or what she recently learned P6. She was happy for him, and his team seemed to be as well. He exited his car and went straight to the paddock where he was greeted with cheers and congratulations. He found Y/N watching a screen that had all the stats and records of the race.

“Understanding it?” He asked, sneaking behind her, she shook her head and laughed.

“No but it is amusing to watch.” She turned to him. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you, not my best but not my worst either. Listen, the guys and I are going to do one last hooray at the bar tonight and I want you there.”

“Of course.”

The bar was filled with Formula One drivers, all drinking and enjoying the night. Y/N had a hard time even squeezing through the crowd till she felt someone grab her hand and pull her to a table. It was Daniel’s partner Lando.

“Daniel is getting drinks for the table now…have a seat.” Lando offered her. She tucked a loose strain of her behind her ear and sat down nervously.

“Congratulations on the race today.” She said.

“Thanks love, did you like watching?”

“I really did, it was fun.”

“Good thing I bought plenty…hello darling.” Daniel said approaching with a tag of beers, she smiled, blushing at his nickname for her.

“Thank you.” She said taking one. “Jerry and Katy are on their way now.” She told him.

“Sweet, I have to speak to that man anyways.” Daniel said, referring to Jerry. “Let’s drink up because it’s going to be a long flight tomorrow.” Daniel said, raising his beer. Y/N gently raised her beer, a sting of sadness struck her body. She wondered if he was just as sad, or was it just her? She took a small sip and looked around at everyone enjoying their night without any cares or worries, something was going to try to do.

“It really is that simple.” Y/N laughed as she watched Lando who was pretty buzzed draw a butterfly on a napkin.

“Why the hell is one wing smaller than the other?” The two laughed uncontrollably, both feeling the effects of the alcohol they have been drinking.

“He’s just a little special in his own way.”

“How about we him name is Daniel.” Then the two shared another laugh.

“Name who Daniel?” Daniel approached the two who were basically in their own little world while everyone else were conversing and drinking.

“Daniel…meet Daniel.” Lando handed him the napkin. “I haven’t autographed yet but it’s by me.” Daniel nodded his head, admiring his friend's drawing.

“It’s lovely mate…Y/N want to get a beer with me?” Y/N nodded her head and got up from the table. “I’ll bring you one Lando.” Lando waved the two off and began to wander around to find his other friends.

“Enjoying the night?” Daniel asked as they waited to be she,led by the bartender.

“Yeah…you?”

“I am.”

“Did Jerry and Katy come yet?” Y/N asked.

“They are somewhere around here…hey can we get two beers please and two fireball shots.” Y/N looked up at Daniel like he was crazy.

“I don’t drink fireball.” She told him.

“For me you will.” He told her. She looked down, taken back by his demanding tone. The bartender handed him the two beers and two shots. “Ready?” He asked giving her the shot glass. She took a deep breath then nodded her head. The two cheers then quickly she down the shot. She quickly chased down the burning sensation with her beer, holding back any faces to mask the taste.

“Awful.” She said and smiled.

“Warms you right up though.” He joked, she nodded her head agreeing. “Let's party then.” He took her hand and led her back towards the crowd.

The night was coming to an end and both Y/N and Daniel sobered up. She didn’t want to end the night being wasted and end up hung over the next morning.

“Can I show you something before you go back to the hotel?” Y/N asked Daniel.

“Sure, let’s head out.” Y/N and Daniel went back to her Studio. She had been working on her last piece to send to California and wanted to show him before he left. She was nervous about what his reaction would be but at the same time excited that she finally finished. She unlocked her studio door and led him inside, straight towards the back. She didn’t say a word, she waited, letting him see the painting.

“Y/N…this is amazing.” She looked at her creation. It was Daniel. Shades of yellow surrounding him. “When did you even have time-“

“I worked all day yesterday and last night.”

“Why did you pick me?” He asked.

“You are the person who showed me that it’s okay to want to venture out of your comfort zone, to trust, and take a risk. You always have this aura of positive vibes and that’s why I picked the color yellow. You brought out a person that I want to be and helped me to see that.” She explained. “Even if our story is a small chapter…it will help me to continue to the end.”

“It doesn’t have to be a small chapter.”

“You leave tomorrow-“

“That doesn’t mean we end…besides I have something for you.” He reached into pocket and pulled out his wallet. Inside his wallet and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He handed it to her and she began to unfold it. When she opened it and began to read it, she instantly looked at him.

“You want me…when?”

“In two weeks we will be in Texas. You, Jerry, and Katy will meet me there, after that you will come with me to England.”

“Daniel I can’t-“

“You can, and you will. You said it yourself…as long as you are doing art it doesn’t matter where you are. What better way to inspire yourself than exploring a whole new country.”

“My shop…”

“…will be taken care of by Jerry and Katy…anymore excuses you want to think of so I can shoot them down?” She looked at him, trying to figure out if this was real or not.

“You want me to travel with you?” She asked sincerely.

“When I saw you watching me…being there in the paddocks…made me feel happy knowing I had someone there.” She looked down, he gently lifted her chin with his fingers, forcing her to look at him. “I told you I like you.”

“And you won’t regret it?” He chuckled, shaking his head no. “Promise?” Without saying anything else he carefully leaned down, hovering his lips over hers. She closed her eyes, not stopping him this time. He closed the gap between them, pulling her close against him by wrapping his arms around her. She rested her hands on his chest and she leaned into his kiss. Every romance novel, song, and movie were right, this first kiss was a special moment and it was one she would never forget.

“I promise.” He whispered to her.

[cookiewrites]

Hii im just spilling thoughts rn HAHA.

sooo you and changbin had a thing going on when u were younger,u stayed friends w his whole group but just kinda had beef w bin after it,n yall always bark at each other and just rlly are like mean to each other but behind closed doors yall do the nastyyyy

hate sex? yes please.

i can totally see this with binnie though, he seems like the kind of guy to hold one hell of a grudge - and even if you hadn't done anything wrong he'd happily blame you for it because it's easier than admitting how much he wants you. it may have been a legitimate reason to break things off when you were younger but the idea of you seeing other people makes him sick; you were his and will always be his.

but the poor man cannot communicate this for the life of him, so he settles for shoving you into cupboards at parties to make you choke on his cock, and calling you at three am to belittle you as he makes you cum on his fingers so many times you cry; because no one can make you feel like he does.

for binnie it isn't hate, per say, it's this primal need to show you no one will ever replace him and how dare you believe otherwise; so i see overstimulation far more than edging, and he wants to see you cry, he wants to see you sorry. and for you; well it's just sex, the best sex you've ever had.

sorry I've been absent and this has took me so long, i haven't been doing great, but this is my longest piece to date so please enjoy <3

say sorry

wc: 2.7k

cw: hard dom!changbin x afab sub!reader, unprotected sex (don't do this), slapping (face and genitals), dirty talk, degradation, little bit of dumbification, names (sir for changbin, princess, slut, bitch and hole for reader), dacryphilia, no aftercare described, no explicit consent, alcohol mentioned, sex in a strangers bedroom, chan is there and talked about, idk it just feels very intense so heads up

depending on who you asked, various people could be blamed for the fact your red wine ended up all over changbin's white shirt, staining him with you.

changbin would swear it was your fault, your glass, your attitude, your fault. you walked over and had so confidently dangled it in front of him, threatening him with it as you screamed at him.

'i don't fucking belong to you seo changbin'

'how fucking dare you tell anyone any fucking different'

'just because your pathetic ass can't get laid doesn't mean you can stop me from getting some'

'you obsessed possessive pathetic excuse for a man'

and next thing everyone knows his white shirt is now red.

you would blame changbin, you never would have wasted a whole glass of wine on ruining his pale attempt at a party outfit if he hadn't told chan you were unavailable. you were plenty available and were extremely interested in being available to him; going home with someone was the only reason you came tonight. knowing the charming australian would be there, and changbin had gone out of his way to tell your mutual friend that you were seeing someone. a fucking lie.

chan, of course, would blame himself. he should never have told you what changbin said when you approached him and asked why he was ignoring you; he knew it was a bad idea to mention his friend around you. but here he was, watching you pour your drink all over changbin and suddenly wanting to leave.

'what the fuck y/n?!'

'you're so desperate you're screaming about it to the party, such a classy act'

'shut up changbin! this is your fault, you selfish asshole, i can't believe you-'

your shouting continues, the pointing and gesturing fading into the background as changbin looks down at his top; he could see how ruined it was, the dampness making the fabric stick to his skin, it felt disgusting. and it was your fault. before he realises it, he's grabbing your wrist, fingertips wrapping themselves around and holding on far tighter than he has any reason to as he drags you into the first empty bedroom he can find; slamming the door shut.

'what the actual fuck was that y/n?'

'i could ask you the same thing changbin i was really looking forward to-'

looking down at the connection between you, the skin of skin so electric it almost shocks you, this always happens when the two of you touch, almost setting you on fire, the spark is so strong; fueled with mutual desire and disgust.

'-forward to what, princess? forward to chan trying to work out how the fuck to make you cum he has no idea what he's-'

'that's your fucking friend you're talking about changbin, you dick'

'and for fucks sake let me go'

and he does, throwing your hand down as he storms towards whoever's wardrobe it was, looking for something to replace his ruined t-shirt with.

'i know he's my friend, and that's how i know he wouldn't be able to please you'

'i would have liked to find out for myself'

'you'd like a shit fuck?'

'shut up changbin'

slowly the shouting between you becomes a rumble, an annoyed diffused conversation as the two of you calm down. peeling the wet t-shirt off his chest, he used the dry sections to wipe the remaining wine off himself, laughing.

'if you are so desperate you can just come and beg me to touch you, i always make you feel good'

'beg for you? i'd rather go home to my vibrator than do that'

'and yet you're staring at me like you want to eat me.'

you were, but you'd never admit it, instead, you scoff at the idea, turning to leave.

'come here and clean it up.'

clear and distinct, changbin wasn't messing around. this wasn't a question or a request, it was an order, said in the exact same voice that he used when he would instruct you to cum. the exact voice that made the submissive part of your brain scream at you to obey, to go clean him up.

'that sounds like your problem binnie.'

he was walking towards you now, throwing the ruined t-shirt on the stranger's bed, until he was face to face with you.

'stop being a fucking brat and clean me up.'

'no.'

and suddenly the hand that was harshly holding your wrist minutes before was grabbing your hair, pulling your head to the left, a loud whine leaving your lips before you can even think to stop it. leaning forward changbin now whispered in your ear, hot breath fanning down your neck in a way that set you alight.

'now, princess, i am going to tell you one more time what i want you to do, and you're going to be a good fucking slut and do it, okay?'

silence, and another hard tug on your hair, prompted you to respond with a weak;

'yes sir.'

'oh, so you can behave?'

'knees. now.'

he said before shoving you down, forcing your knees to slam onto the floor, cushioned only slightly by the carpet. you look up at him and you already look ruined; cheeks flushed bright red from a mix of alcohol and arousal, makeup smudged slightly from a night dancing, hair a mess from changbin's forcefulness. however, changbin plans to ruin you so completely you barely recognise yourself when he's done.

'you always look your prettiest on your knees for me, princess'

'always ready to be a useful fucking hole for me'

'so what you're going to do is let me use that mouth of yours, make it good for something more than begging chan to pity-fuck you, and if you're a good toy i might let you cum, only if you're really really sorry for being such a bitch'

'so, princess, i'd start apologising now'

'say fucking sorry'

as he started to undo his jeans, pushing them and his boxers down you whisper out a 'sorry' that you yourself could barely hear.

'oh no, princess, i need you to say sorry.'

'actually, i need you to scream it, let this whole party know how fucking sorry you are for misbehaving'

'that's the closest chan will get to fucking you, hearing you scream how sorry you are through the walls' he laughs.

'sorry changbin' you say again, a bit louder, the embarrassment making the red flush further down your chest. but it isn't that that makes you gasp. what makes you gasp is the clear, loud, firm slap across your cheek; changbin smiling wildly as he does it.

'again.'

'sorry changbin'. another slap, this time on the other cheek, at least he was being merciful enough to spread them out. the pain making tears spring to your eyes, threatening to fall.

'again, fucking mean it.'

'sorry changbin!' louder this time, a cry. another slap. back on the first cheek again, and it really hurt this time. you hang your head, partly in shame, and partly to hide from his assault; which he won't let you do, of course, pulling your head back to make you look at him again. tears now running down your cheeks, soothing the now sore skin. changbin always found your wet glassy eyes so pretty.

'and what are you sorry for, princess?'

's-sorry for a-asking c-chan to sleep with m-me'

'not bad, but not quite what i wanted. say sorry for being a slut, nice and loud for me y/n'

's-sorry f-for being a s...slut s-sir' you say, far louder than you would ever hope to say those words, but you were hoping it was loud enough for changbin to take pity on you. the laugh you hear above you is cold, and embarrassing, making you even wetter than you already were.

'god, you're so fucking desperate, barely need to do anything to make you obey, such a fucking whore, thinking just with that hole of yours.'

the spit that lands on your face shocks you, but you're almost grateful for it, the way it cools your cheeks is almost nice.

'open up princess, be a good hole for me'

and you do, and you are, letting him assault your throat, immediately fucking himself in your mouth slightly too deep; just to make you choke on him out of spite; your gagging and gasping making him smile. seeing you punished for trying to whore yourself out was always satisfying.

but soon it wasn't. as pretty as you looked crying your mascara off, eyes rolled back into your head, as he mindlessly fucked himself into your throat, he wanted more. he wanted to remind you why you'll always come back to him. so he pulls out, letting go of his hold on your hair and letting you catch his breath.

'where are your manners princess? did they disappear when you chose to play the slut?'

't-thank y-you sir' you managed to say, although far raspier than before, changbin's use of your throat clear on your voice - and fuck does it turn you both on. changbin ignores you for a moment, stripping himself of his remaining clothes and sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down at you; noting how you had not dared to move.

'behaving now i see' he says, wrapping his hand around his cock to lazily touch himself.

'get up off the ground, you're not a fucking dog' although he catches himself, laughing, before adding; 'you sure are a bitch though y/n'

'strip for me.'

you did, of course, peeling the skin-tight dress off to reveal the lack of any underwear; partly because of the dress you were wearing, but also because you didn't plan on needing any. what you thought was once a smart idea, was now another reason for changbin to continue this punishment; sitting silently staring at your naked body for just long enough to make you a little uncomfortable before saying something;

'couldn't even get dressed properly i see'

'you'd have let anyone at this party use you, bend you over and fuck you'

'apologise again, you sound so good begging for forgiveness'

'sorry for being a slut sir, please, i'm sorry'

he hums, continuing to stare, watching the way your arms tense as you tried to ignore the urge to cover yourself; knowing that would only anger him more and whilst changbin was so hot when he was mad, you needed to behave if you wanted any help with the throbbing between your legs.

'on all fours on the bed, princess' he instructs as he moves out of the way, allowing you to crawl your way on top of the covers. he marvelled at your obedience, particularly enjoying the way your arms shook from anticipation as well as holding yourself up.

what made you shake more though was the sudden feeling of his palm on your ass cheek, making you whine loud in the room. changbin stood back, enjoying the blooming red handprint mark you, knowing how sore that skin will be. he ignored the temptation to run his hand over the mark, soothing it.

this time he didn't even need to prompt your apology, as you sob out another beg for forgiveness. he smirked as he heard your voice, broken with hiccups, as he realises how far gone you are already.

silently he matches the handprint onto your other asscheek, seeing the way the force threw you forward and was followed by another apology as you steadied yourself, bracing for another impact.

instead, changbin surprised you, as he always tended to, and climbed behind you on the bed. lining himself up he rubbed the head of his cock up and down your cunt, spreading your wetness around as you whined for more.

'f-fuck me s-sir please!'

'princess i already know how desperate you are, since you wanted to whore yourself out to the whole party, so don't worry, i'll get there. i'm just enjoying myself.'

'...please' you whisper, unable to hold your needs inside you for a moment longer, not when he was this close. your inability to follow instructions the final straw of changbin as his anger bubbled up to the surface again.

'god do you ever shut up?! maybe i should go back to shutting that mouth up and leave you making a fucking puddle on the bed!'

's-sorry sir! sorry! sorry... please! sorry!'

and suddenly changbin fully seated himself into you, the stretch simultaneously delicious and painful. pulling himself fully out before bottoming out again, over and over, changbin's pace was nothing short of punishing.

'shut. up.'

'fuck y/n you're so fucking annoying'

'only good for this pussy of yours, i swear, just a fucking hole - ugh'

he continues to berate you as he filled you over and over again. if changbin was anything, he was a good fuck - always reaching all these perfect places inside of you, places you could never reach alone, or with anyone else. it's that, mostly, that always made you come back to him. no matter what he said to you, he always felt too good to forget. and as harsh as he was, once he'd broken you, he'd stay for as long as it took to put you back together again before you'd make him leave - something he never wanted to do.

'chan could never fuck you like this, ugh, could never fill you up'

'see how dumb you get for my cock, princess, only. ever. mine.'

'fuck, turn over, want to see that pretty fucking face'

you did just that, shakily moving and then sinking into the mattress, your mind floating away as you spread yourself for changbin to seat himself back inside you. his arms, veins on display, as he held himself up, hovering over you as he restarted his brutal pace.

'you're such a fucking mess princess, won't be able to walk out of this party without people knowing what a fucking slut you are'

'my pretty little slut'

'fuck - say sorry, you're so pathetic when you're apologising'

this last order was accompanied by a firm slap to your exposed clit, sending a pleasurably painful electric shock fire through your body. the way you screamed in response made changbin's cock twitch inside you, making the scream turn into the loud moan, which in turn became repeated apologies;

'sorry sir, f-for being a s-slut sir, s-sorry sir, sorry, for b-being b-bad, i'm s-so s-sorry...'

grabbing your chin with slightly too much force, changbin saw a new wave of hot tears break their way out of your eyes as you continued to beg for forgiveness and he realised it was time to let you cum, he was close enough to finish as soon as he entered you, he'd been holding on this whole time. this didn't mean he wasn't pissed anymore but he felt like you really were sorry for trying to share what was his; has always been and always will be.

'if you can cum for me princess, i'll forgive you'

'show me who this pretty cunt belongs to'

'y-you changbin! y-you!'

'yeah, princess, it's all mine, now cum for me'

you wanted to, so badly, but changbin just felt so far away, so you reached up and grabbed him by the hair forcing your lips to connect for the first time tonight. it was far too much teeth and tongue and aggression but it was what pleasure was between the two of you; biting and venomous and angry. it was exactly what you needed to start spasming around his cock, moaning his name between your attempts of kisses and somehow trying to catch your breath.

he pulled out and soon followed, cumming over your stomach as the once bitter kiss began to turn sweet - changbin always struggled to keep ahold of his anger once he finished. suddenly wanting to bundle you up and relax.

pulling back from the kiss he looked down at you, makeup nowhere near where it was meant to be, fresh tears threatening to fall over flushed red cheeks. and he thought you looked beautiful.

's-sorry b-binnie, s-sorry'

'shush princess, i forgive you, i'm always happy to remind you that you're all mine'

'y-yours.'

[msblazer]

“Struggles”

Fuse x F!Reader

15-05-22

900+ words

——————

Copied and pasted from my wattpad one shots book:

Wattpad: @Ms_Blazer

One shot book: https://www.wattpad.com/story/309964342?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=Ms_Blazer&wp_originator=45ywvl7gube24ROI9KG%2BetK8WcG5oGHevsjo1i2485Lwe62GkcQ1%2BBM8Q1bditE40pssVP2QZ6t7D7MqHnKb4A9Fdf1RAOlI1pB%2BeIG5OWld4noFf%2FoZMPCf2cE76HxZ

——————

Fuse x F!Reader

——————

The reader has some troubles with getting used to the Apex Games and 'Fusey' decides to help

Warnings:

-None

Extra:

You can listen to the song cause I was listening to it and I just thought it was a vibe lmao

——————

(Name) is a new legend who recently joined the Apex Games and was practicing in the firing rage. She let out a growl of frustration as she kept making mistakes with holding the gun and missing the targets completely.

She huffed and took a breath before aiming her sentinel towards a target. "C'mon...just one..." (Name) whispered to herself as her index finger hovered over the trigger. As she took the opportunity to shoot her foot slipped from under her which made her fall face first and miss the shot once more.

You stood there in silence staring at the ground, then let out a loud yell of frustration before getting up and throwing the gun roughly onto the ground. You're breath was unsteady with anger as you felt small tears pricking at your eyes.

"Woah, be careful with the gear mate!" You turned towards the voice swiftly which seemed to surprise the man since you saw him jolt backwards slightly. "Bloody hell! You look like...bloody hell!" He said.

You recognised him. Fuse. You've seen him play in the games on your TV before you joined and admired how he played. "You there mate? You alright?" He asked, you could hear his Australian accent pretty damn clear.

You moved some hair out oof your face and picked up the gun you threw. "Not really, I just can't get the hang of these snipers and sub machine guns and I'm frustrated about it." You muttered as you turned to look at Fuse.

He put a hand towards his face while thinking. "Alright mate, I'll help you" he smirked. "What? Why?" You asked. He started to walk towards you and grabbed a R-99 fro himself and a second one for you. "Why not? Nothing else to do right now so why not help you out hm?" You didn't protest so he continued.

"Here, let's practice with close range first" he handed you the R-99 which you took  without a word. He laughed. "Am I not getting a thank you mate? Just kidding, you can thank me later with a drink maybe." He shrugged his shoulders and motioned you towards the close range targets.

"Alright, show me what you've got mate!" You looked at him unsure but aimed at the target anyway. As you took your shot several rounds you finally hit a target with a bullet and you smiled. "Hurray I got one!" You smiled. "Good job mate, but uhhh, we're still going to need to work on your aim." He said as he pointed out the several bullet marks on the ground.

You're smiled dropped in sadness. "Oh." Fuse noticed how sad you sounded and went up to you. "Here let me show you how to hold the gun properly" he said as he guided your hands to the correct positions with his own. You felt the cold metal from his arm as it brushed against yours which made you slightly shiver.

His face was close to yours as he aimed your arm towards the target. Only now, you started to take in his features. His chocolate brown eyes and his (killer) moustache, his sharp jawline and how some loose strands of his hair fell on his head. You never realised how good he looks till now.

You're face felt warm. We're you blushing?! You started to panic. Just then Fuse looked you in the eye. "You alright there mate?" He asked kindly. Which made your ears warm. "I'm fine!" You responded a little too quick for your liking. He smirked. "Whatever you say!"

He helped aim the gun again in your hands. You properly focused this time. "Try shooting now" Fuse said letting go of you which slightly disappointed you since you enjoyed his touch.

You quickly realised what the hell you were thinking about and quickly shook that thought out of your head and looked through the optics and took a shot. This time you got a proper headshot and the target dummy fell down. You smiled brightly and did a few little jumps of joy forgetting that Fuse was behind you watching with a proud grin on his face from your reaction. Fuse muttered a small "cute" under his breath.

You heard Fuse mutter something and turned towards him embarrassed since he saw your little happy fit. Fuse immediately saw the blush on your face and thought that you heard him mutter under his breath which immediately made him feel hot. "Uhhh, you did great mate-! Just keep practicing and try out more weapons!"

Fuse quickly collected himself before speaking again. "If you ever need more help I'll help you out best I can but I've gotta go now!" he smiled. You, who was still embarrassed quickly nodded your head in acknowledgment and muttered a quick 'thank you.'

Fuse nodded and started to walk away. "I'll see you around (Name)!" He called as he neared the exit which made you surprised since you hadn't told him your name. You watched him walk away until he turned around and yelled.

"You have a nice arse!" He winked and quickly left the firing range leaving you a blushing mess.

[axvoter]

Blatantly Partisan Party Review IX (federal 2022): David Pocock

Running where: ACT

Prior reviews: None, this is a new party

Yes, I mean this is a new party. To have a name appear above the line on Senate ballots, you must be a registered party (hence no-party-no-more Nick Xenophon getting the unlabelled Group O in SA). Normally, individuals running on a “don’t ya know me and what I stand for?” platform tack on something so that they are the Jacqui Lambie Network or the Rex Patrick Team or Katter’s Australian Party. David Pocock, however, has had an inspired moment and simply registered his party’s name as his personal name. This isn’t the David Pocock Group, Network, or Team. This is David Pocock.

I should explain what’s going on in the ACT for those unfamiliar. The territory leans strongly left: it has had a Labor territorial government since 2001, currently in coalition with the Greens (and the Liberals have only held power for approx. 8 years since the first territorial election in 1989). At federal level, however, it only elects two senators, each requiring a quota of 33.3%, so (since no party is ever getting 66.6%), it always elects one Labor and one Liberal. This means that the ACT’s senate representation is often seen to not really reflect Canberrans’ views. Labor always gets a quota, but sometimes the Liberals drop below it—usually so slightly that they get over the line with just a handful of preferences, but this has led some others to sense opportunity. The Greens have polled as high as 22.9% (2010) but they have not drawn enough of that vote from former Liberal voters to leap into the second seat. This year we have two high profile independent campaigns hoping they might succeed instead: Kim Rubenstein (see forthcoming review of Kim for Canberra) and David Pocock.

If you're a rugby union fan, you already know Pocock from his playing days, during which he captained the Wallabies. He had strong and outspoken political views as a player, and now he's trying to go a step further and win office. Pocock has been involved in conservation activities for about as long as he’s been in the public eye. His commitment is such that he was arrested in 2014 for his role in a non-violent protest against coal mining expansion in northern NSW.

Pocock declared his candidacy for the ACT last year and is running hard with a focus on climate policy and integrity. These two issues form the core of his platform. Moreover, he is committed to a First Nations Voice to Parliament (the first step in the Uluru Statement’s call for Voice, Treaty, Truth) and to territorial rights and equality across Australian society.

If I have a critique, it is that his enviro policy is a bit too obsessed with electrification for electrification’s sake. It needs more attention to the source of the electricity (is it renewable?) and electric cars have so many non-tailpipe-related environmental issues that Pocock really needs clearer policies to expand and improve active and public transport.

As I browsed Pocock’s policies, I found myself wondering why he is not simply running for the Greens. I suspect it is that he thinks he has a better chance of peeling off socially-liberal, climate-conscious Liberal voters this way. It appears, too, that he is uninterested in being subject to party discipline and wants independence beyond parroting a party line. Given that one of the main reasons I’ve never gone into politics is because I prize my own independence and would struggle to toe a party line on all occasions, I respect that.

It seems his policies and principles suggest he would make reasonable independent judgements on issues that come before parliament. I find little objectionable in his platform, which seeks greater equality and future opportunities. And, look, you know someone is on the right path when I—a New Zealander whose first and firmest sporting love is the All Blacks—am prepared to talk positively about a man who scored a try against us in a Rugby World Cup grand final (we won, though).

My recommendation: Give David Pocock a good preference.

(Indeed, if you are tossing between voting 1 Greens or Pocock, there are some strategic implications to consider in terms of who is more likely to get ahead of the Liberals if there is a tight count)

Website: https://www.davidpocock.com.au/

[seimeiorigin]

It’s time to forget Yuzuru Hanyu

(written on 27th Feb)

I think my obsession with Yuzu is not healthy. I need to do something to stop obsessing over Yuzu and get back to my normal life. I thought I should write down what I am feeling to see if it helps me let go of him. And where better to leave these thoughts than in the care of people who feel the same way?(If you are a translator, feel free to sub this for non-English speaking Yuzu fans  )

I am a 50 year old Australian woman and as a long time fan of the art of figure skating I was usually only interested in watching the women. The last time I watched was during the era of  Tonya Harding,  Tara Lipinsky and Sureya Bonnely. I was a fan of Kurt Browning back then as my only favourite male skater.   

15 days ago I saw a random you tube video of Parisienne Walkway and was immediately struck by the power, grace, beauty and effort of Yuzuru. I had never seen anyone like him and I thought  that his performance was the best skate I had ever seen. Little did I know....In the last 15 days I have felt the need to see more of what he does and so have spent every free hour of my life watching Yuzu's performances, sometimes over and over as in the case of Seimei, P walkways and Masquerade.

I am obsessed with Yuzu and I deeply regret that I was not along for the ride of the last 10 years. I google for the latest Yuzu news everyday and when I find something written in the last week it is like finding a gold nugget! I have read many of the blogs about Yuzu (thank you blog writers), read the news articles, watched interviews and never have I felt the lack of a second language more keenly. A massive thanks to everybody who English subs Yuzu content. 

I think about him when i should be working. I stay up late watching videos and am so tired in the morning. I am trying to find places I can buy Yuzu merchandise but alas, there are no places here to do so. I look at my phone lock screen (Seimei) a hundred times a day just to remember that this man exists. Yuzu has taken over my life. 

What is it about Yuzu's skating that makes me want to watch again and again and again?The crosswalk in Seimei. Oh mi god. Such attitude. I have never seen attitude like this on the rink before. A challenge to all watching: "Do not mess with me!"I have watched the videos about the making of Seimei and am enamoured of how much work went into this program, right down to Yuzu recording his own breath to help with the timing of his opening movement. The full program is breathtaking. I love every single moment of every single aspect. After having watched the making of Seimei video i understand so much more about what I see on the ice - the spells he is casting as the character and how that translates into artistry. The speed. The effort. The more videos I watch about Yuzu the more times I watch Seimei.  For example, Yuzu says in one interview that  at Pyeongchang he was supposed to stay in character but was so happy at the last part of the program that he could not help smiling and feeling so happy and we saw that. Such an uplifting moment that makes me laugh every time. I think i have watched all available performances of Seimei that the music runs through my mind in my sleep. I have downloaded it on my phone and listen to it on the bus. 

Yuzu's costumes: oh. mi. god. They are beautiful works of art. Such beauty of colour, decoration, design and form. I feel things when I see the costumes. I covet the heaven and earth jacket. I want one of my own to wear. The way they fit Yuzu perfectly, showing off the his perfect form in all its beauty and strength. The way they create the mood for the performance makes many other skater's costumes pale in comparison. The detail that the costume designer includes and the fact that Yuzu himself participates and tells her what he wants makes it all the more special. I watch the performances time and again just to look at the costume details. 

Yuzu's sexuality on the ice is something I am in two minds about. My own son is 22 so not that much younger than Yuzu so I feel uncomfortable thinking of Yuzu that way. But I cannot help it when I watch PW or Let's go crazy or Let me entertain you. There is something so attractive about the way Yuzu's movements invite the audience to partake in a little bit of sauciness. This is in direct opposition to the fun and innocence of everyday Yuzu that I see backstage or during downtimes. It feels like a total contrast and perhaps it is for that exact reason why those movements are attractive. 

Yuzuvier: I have friends but none of my friendships are like that. I wish I could experience the relationship between the two of them. I am so glad they had each other and it makes me feel happy when I see the videos of them together...and sad to see where Javi told Yuzu that it was their last time competing together. I really hope they stay in touch and catch up when they can. 

Yuzu's University study: Wow, what a legacy to leave to the sport. Using his own skills and experience to explore ways to become more proficient and keep climbing those hills. I truly hope that his study has led him to a way to perfect the 4A and I am holding hope in my heart that he is the first one to do it. I also hope that the thesis will allow the sporting world to progress. 

Sportsmanship: Wow Yuzu. Just WOW. A beautiful person who shares joy, encourages others, provides support and is never a complainer. This is what all sporting people should aspire to be. The depth of integrity that this man has shines out of every pore of his being. 

Yuzu's work philosophy and dedication is just exhilarating. Always wanting to be better, climb that hill, be number one, try and try and try. Learn from mistakes, learn and learn and learn. I find myself going about my day now and asking myself "WWYHD" in this situation? (What Would Yuzuru Hanyu Do). I am thinking that if i can take one thing from Yuzu everyday it would make interactions with my fellow humans more enjoyable and pleasant. I truly admire Yuzu so much that I hope I can continue learning from Yuzu even when he is not skating anymore.

 Yuzu's philosophy of supporting all people including his own is admirable. Truly a remarkable attitude and philosophy to have in one so young. When I see this it makes me want to do something to help my fellow man. Yuzu is a shining example for all of us on what life is really all about. The Japanese culture permeates everything this man does. Yuzu is so respectful as many Japanese people are and I admire this culture immensely for the grace, dignity and respect that abounds there. Such a contrast to what I see everyday and it makes me feel like I want to live there myself. 

I have never seen this man in real life. I really cannot say I know anything about him. I have not spoken to Yuzu or anyone who has met him so anything I know is second, third and fourth hand. But even though I feel like I know everything there is to know about him now, I know that what I have seen over the last 15 days does not mean I know him at all. But I wish I did. He seems like a pretty good bloke. 

I wish...no, I hope that I get the chance to see Yuzu perform live. He has just made it onto no. 1 spot on my bucket list. If I can see him live after Covid I will be yelling, cheering, screaming at the top of my lungs. And I will be crying because I have seen perfection. The Greatest Of All Time.

[baby-grayson]

Kind Stranger| GBD

Word Count: 2.8k (teeny tiny) Trigger Warning: quarantine talk A/N: This is my first fic post ever! Please let me know what you think about this little teaser. Please please give me feedback about if I should keep going or if I can improve at all!!

The saltwater hit his tongue sharply. His body fell alongside his board in the water. While his feet met the ground again, he quickly scooped up the wayward board before it floated too far away. Arriving back on the shore, he dug the bottom of the board into the heavy, wet sand. He sat next to it, the tide kissing his feet and bare legs as it danced along the shore. He took a deep breath. He was at peace.

Grayson Dolan didn’t feel peace often: at least, not lately. The past two years had been one chaotic haze after another. Moving into a house in LA. Being on Fear Factor. Having his first stalker. Being there to watch his father pass. Starting a fragrance company. Erupting into a workaholic pattern of self-destruction to avoid dealing with the emotions of his father’s death. Announcing to his over 10million fans that he and Ethan had reached their last emotional string and needed to pursue a life that was happiest for them, including projects that pushed them as creators.

The creative projects were as scary and dizzying as they were exciting. He and Ethan traveled across the country in a custom van. They explored the Australian wilderness. They started a podcast with their friend, Ryan, to introduce the real, mature versions of themselves to the internet. Grayson had a small black notebook in his bottom left desk drawer with project ideas and timelines for the year.

But that notebook became pointless when the pandemic hit. He and Ethan were in the process of finding a new house after an incident with an unhealthily obsessed fan when the shelter in place orders hit. The first month was unstable; no one should have to move to a new house in the middle of a pandemic. But the craziness subsided eventually, Grayson and Ethan found a home to call their own for the first time in their lives. After living in close quarters during construction left them at each other’s throats, they found a rental in Malibu to live out the rest of their quarantine days. Periodically, the visited their mother in New Jersey.

Visiting New Jersey did not exactly follow the CDC guidelines. Grayson quelled the risk in his heart with the importance of his mother. If she wasn’t working and he and Ethan only ever saw each other, how dangerous could it really be? Besides, his mother needed him. After the death of his father, his mother was left alone in their house in rural New Jersey. She had nothing but the memories of buying the home, bringing home two twin baby boys, teaching her daughter how to ride a bike, and having tough conversations about her sons’ dreams… Yeah, she needed him. Grayson decided. Grayson still held guilt from not spending enough time with his mother after his father passed. He loved her more than anything, and in a deep place, a place so deep that he didn’t dare think on often, he would never forgive himself for not being there for her in the weeks following his father’s passing.

He thought of her often: like on this beach in Malibu. He thought of how she’d love to pull up a beach chair and enjoy a Mojito while soaking up the sun. The image almost made him chuckle. For a short second, he pictured Ethan and Cameron there with her. Cameron would pull up a beach chair next to their mother, blasting her latest musical obsession from a stereo. Ethan would try to surf, but eventually his more whimsical tendencies would give out and he’d try building the biggest sandcastle a 20-year-old man child could muster.

Grayson chuckled to himself, he buried his hands in the sand at his sides. He played with it in his palms, feeling the fine granules pass over his coarse skin. A thousand little diamonds slowly withering away at a firm and precise exterior. He was also reminded of his mother constantly telling him to exfoliate his callouses from building.

This was Grayson mid-pandemic. The mess of finding a house passed. The initial marvel of staying busy inside the house passed. Hell, even the wonder of cutting his home-grown mullet had passed. Now, he and Ethan traded turns being the more bored twin. Ethan had re-watched Stranger Things about 10 times by now. Grayson spent his days working out, following his regimented daily routine to soon reach a Planche Hold. Occasionally, one of them would reach a deeper state of boredom and go to bother the other twin. They would go to bed and rehearse the routine again the next day.

Unfortunately for Grayson, Ethan slept like the dead. His twin brother usually slept until 11:00 AM; the pandemic had pushed that to a firm 1:00PM. His brother’s sleeping beauty impression left Grayson with nearly half a day to himself. Grayson made a ritual out of going surfing. The beach was secluded enough to not require the precautionary thinking of masks and hygiene in a pandemic. It was just Grayson, his board, and the ocean. He spent his alone time thinking of the important people in his life. In some ways, this pandemic was almost a good thing for him. He spent last year moving too fast among emotions he was too immature to process on his own. This year the world forced him to move too slow in an attempt to let his mind and heart catch up to the rest of his life. His introspective moments on the sand and sea were his own to experience and process alone. Except today.

She looked down at him and smiled, “Good Morning”

His lips turned up softly, “Morning”

He watched as she walked away: a long, dark ponytail fluttering in the wind over a flowy, white sundress sundress with a small, leather purse hanging at her hip. Grayson leaned back on his palms when he noticed something. Her footprints weren’t even. In the sand, one foot was about two inches deeper than the other. He furrowed his brow, pondering it for a second before shaking his head. He dipped his hands in the water and wet his newly cropped haircut. He was seeing things, probably swallowing too much salt. He grabbed his board and headed up shore to his van.

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He wouldn’t have recognized her without the hair. The next day, he was paddling back to shore on his board when she walked by. He could make out her long, dark hair against the pale, sandy background. He squinted: not being able to tell if she was looking back at him. He smiled brightly and outwardly, just in case she could see him. His smile faded in a few seconds. what am I doing? He thought before padding back to shore to make his usually introspective campsite.

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The third day, he was firmly in deep thought about his next tattoo when she walked by. They made eye contact as they flashed each other warm, but polite, smiles. “Good Morning” “Good Morning”.

This secluded little beach not his own anymore. He shared it with a kind stranger. She was a silent reminder that the world continued to turn outside of his fast-paced, modern, social media based lifestyle. Okay he thought maybe I’m being a bit deep …but it’s nice to have someone else around I guess.  

Their routine played for two weeks. She would walk by Grayson, either as he was coming to land again or paddling his way back to shore. They exchanged greetings and smiles as they passed. By the time she turned around and walked back to her car again, Grayson was gone.  Sometimes she saw the imprint of him in the sand when he was gone and thought about him when he wasn’t there. For a few minutes, she would muse to herself about his name. Sterling? No too Disney. Lance? No too King Arthur. William? No too Royal Family.

Occasionally, Grayson would think back to her outside of his beach visits. Maybe he passed a girl with long, dark hair in the grocery store, or maybe he saw someone about her size on the other side of a parking lot, he would catch his breath quickly before realizing it wasn’t her. What would I even say? Are we friends? She probably doesn’t remember what I look like. Why do I care? That last one got him.

Why did he care? Sure, he thought, she was pretty. She seemed nice, well okay her Good Mornings sound nice…nicest he’d heard in a while considering the only other person who wished him a good morning was Ethan. Maybe that was just it, he was spending too much time by himself or with Ethan. Ethan and Grayson had been quarantined together for almost four months now. The only other people he had seen was his mother, sister, and friend Ryan. When you only speak to 4 other people face to face for four months, the girl on the beach was a contender for one of his closest friends. The thought settled well in his brain, rationalizing his anxieties about seeing her in public.

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About two weeks later, on a Tuesday morning, the sky was grey as the sun hid behind the clouds; the ocean water was unusually murky with dense foam. Grayson’s head must have been in the grey clouds because his usual surfing excursion left him tumbling around in the water more than usual. He started back for the shore earlier than usual, sensing that today was simply not his day. When the water reached his chest, Grayson started to walk upright in the water while dragging his board behind him. Not a few seconds later, he felt a sharp pain stab the outer edge of his left foot. “FUCK”, he swore out loud and gasped. The saltwater heightened the pain as he continued to trudge through the water.

He arrived on shore and noticed a jagged, long cut along the side of his right foot. The saltwater washed away the blood seeping through the wound: all that was left was a deep, slender slice taken out of the side of his foot. He tossed his board down, not bothering to dig it into the sand. He sat on the waters edge, trying to wash the sand out of the wound but wincing when the salt returned with its pointed sting. He groaned softly to himself.

I can’t walk back to the car like this, he thought to himself.

He threw his head back, frustrated with the situation. Frustrated with how he might have scratched his board on a rock from tossing it down. Frustrated from the deep wound spewing blood from his foot. Frustrated with his loneliness. Frustrated with the pandemic. Frustrated with his career. It all lead him here: sitting on a beach, more than half naked, with a bloody foot and a bruised ego. He sighed out loud and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Are you okay?”

Grayson nearly jumped, not because she was mean or aggressive but because he was having his internal meltdown under the impression that he was alone. He forgot about his little beach friend. Her brow furrowed softly, oh shit I should say something. 

“Yeah, I uhh I just got cut up is all” Grayson waived his injured foot softly from where it lay.

She hesitated for a second, neither of them was wearing a mask. Surely Dr. Fauci would approve of her helping a lone stranger who was in pain. She ignored the premonition, figuring that she wouldn’t be seeing anyone else soon anyway but remembering to put a mask in her purse for any future first aid incidents.

“Do you need a hand?” Her eyes were kind and caring, a deep brown that looked nearly gold in the grey light of that Tuesday morning. Grayson found himself looking at her, really looking at her for the first time since they started sharing the beach. She did not notice Grayson’s awkward gawk getting the best of him. She bent her head down, her eyes leaving Grayson’s gaze to search her purse for something. Grayson realized how small she was, probably only 5 feet tall and slender framed underneath her T-shirt and shorts. She unearthed a small, white package from within her purse. “Bandaid?” she offered, holding it out to him.

“Yeah that’d be great,” Grayson nodded softly and took the package from her. He looked from the white box to his cut and his muscles tensed up, unsure of where to start. He looked up at her, his brown eyes wide with uncertainty. She smiled softly at him, reassuring that frustrated place in his heart slightly. “Want some help?”, she was already kneeling down before he could start nodding.

Grayson slipped the white bandage box into her small palm as she started wiping away the larger pieces of sand around the cut. “You think it could get infected?” he asked, “By something in the water?”

She laid a piece of gauze over his cut as she shook her head. “No, the salt in the water would act as an electrolyte to dehydrate the phospholipid bilayer of any aquatic bacteria before it even got in.” He felt his eyebrows raise. She wrapped his foot in a larger bandage before adding, “uh I mean… it’s salt water, so you’ll be fine…..how did you do this anyway?”

“I must’ve stepped on a rock coming out of the water,” Grayson coolly forgot to mention his earlier debacle of looking like a Saint Bernard on a surfboard.

“If a big guy like you can get taken down by a rock, I have no chance in this world,” she remarked while standing up and putting the box back in her purse.  Grayson laughed out loud with a wide smile. Her joke wasn’t even that funny, but it had been so long since he heard someone make a joke besides Ethan.

She smiled down at him, “I like the band” she gestured toward the solid black tattoo on his right ankle. “I think I would go with an anklet though,” she added with a soft confidence.”

Grayson tried to stand on the freshly bandage foot, “True but this way I’ll never lose it in the ocean.”

It was her turn to laugh, she flashed a bright smile at him and let out a happy sound. Her laugh died down as Grayson stood up tall: a tanned, muscular Adonis standing before her. “Well um..I’m glad to see you’re doing okay,” she started to step away from him, “See you later.” She smiled before turning away.

“See you later,” Grayson waved goodbye as she turned her back and continued her walk. He stopped himself, why was a grown man waving goodbye in public like a kindergartener at school? He let his hand fall to his side before picking up his board and walking back to his van. He looked down at his foot, I guess Ethan is taking out the trash tonight..and making me dinner. 

On the other side of the beach, she drew in a breath and cursed to herself, shit..I didn’t get his name..

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Grayson returned to the beach the next morning without his board. He decided that getting his bandaged (freshly done and kissed with love by Ethan) foot was too much of a risk. Also, he feared cutting up his good foot with a matching gash. He couldn’t depend on pretty girls with nice eyes to always be there with bandaids.  Instead, he sat down on the sand, letting the water run over his right foot and leg. He held his injured leg in his bicep, folding his knee up to meet his chest. With his free arm, he tried to skip stones in the water from his position on the ground.

He tried his best to enjoy his introspective morning with the ocean, even though he wasn’t in the water.

“I almost didn’t recognize you without your board” she looked down at him from under the visor of a black baseball hat.

He chucked, “Boards don’t pair well with bandaged feet.” He smiled up at her, “Thank you, by the way, for yesterday. I really appreciate it… You didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s no problem….just being a kind stranger,” outwardly, she smiled gently but inwardly she cringed at the awkwardness of her own words. Grayson smiled gently back at her, she can’t have been too awkward if he’s still looking at her right?

“My names Kate”

“I’m Grayson”   A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! This is the first thing I am ever posting and would really appreciate any feedback you have about whether or not I should keep going. <3 

[bucksblr]

tagged by @leonzhng​ thanks for making me dig through my most embarrassing crushes 😭✋

i’ll tag @highwarlockkareena​ @yibobibo​ @lan-xichens​ @purplexedhuman​ @aheartfullofjolllly​ @lanzhansmiles​ @nyx4​ i feel like i tag you guys in everything i am so sorry please ignore this if u don’t wanna do it !!

putting this under a read more for reasons

MEN 2010 – 2016

literally nothing more embarrassing than falling on the same type of white man over and over again (with the exception of minho from shinee bless his heart)

tommy joe ratliff → he was the bass player for adam lambert during his glamnation era (think of songs like for your entertainment and if i had you) idk why exactly i liked him so much but i just did.... however i searched him up again quite recently and found out he’s one of those republicans that says the dumbest shit on twitter so Big Yikes

harry styles → “baby you light up my world like nobody else, the way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed, and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell...” and BOOM 13-year-old me was sold for well over two years

louis tomlinson → basically i liked harry most until around 2013 when for some reason i started to like him a little less, and i got more focused on louis tomlinson, and although i didn’t like one direction anymore louis tomlinson always had a special place in my heart

ashton irwin → so ashton is 5sos’ drummer, i discovered 5sos through one direction & i stanned them until late 2014

harries twins → the harries twins (jack & finn) are basically the reason i started spending a lot of time on youtube, they were funny and pretty and they just had good videos in general, so for almost two years i’d watch their content regularly

choi minho → my first steps into kpop happened bc i was watching videos on youtube (most probably the harries twins) and suddenly i saw the sherlock mv in my recommended videos so i clicked on it and then 14-year-old me proceeded to fall for minho like an idiot

brooks twins → still youtubers, the brooks twins were 3/5 of the janoskians (jai & luke brooks, beau brooks, daniel sahyounie, & james yammouni), an australian youtube comedy group that was active from 2011-2018 though i was only around from 2012-2014 (when jai brooks was dating ariana grande)

jc caylen → surprise! another youtuber! jc caylen was part of o2l (our2ndlife) a youtube collaboration channel on which each of the 6 members posted videos on a certain day in the week (mondays with connor, tuesdays with ricky, wednesdays with sam, thursdays with jc, fridays with trevi (my 2nd favorite member bc she participated on the x factor), saturdays with ricardo, and then they had surprise sundays every week) and i remember how much joy jc & the others always brought me with their silly videos

misha collins → up next, you might know him as the gay angel that was sent to superhell after confessing his love to the homophobic hunter on supernatural, it’s misha collins! basically misha was a huge source of comfort for me, and i even went around calling myself emmisha for almost two full years (cringe)

henrik holm → he played even bech naesheim in skam and my crush on him reached that level of ridiculousness where i actually tried my hand at learning norwegian (i can only remember how to introduce myself and some curse words i would make a great first impression on him)

MEN 2016 – 2021

min yoongi → okay so my baby steps into kpop happened through shinee’s sherlock, but i only got really invested when yoongi dropped agust d 1 because Holy Fuck y’know??

kim namjoon → oh man i remember thinking namjoon was cute and a very good leader and then BAM he dressed like THAT at the 2016 mma’s and i fell in love. hard

park seojoon → i started liking park seojoon whilst i was watching hwarang (you guessed it, i watched it bc of taehyung), although he wasn’t my favorite character by far, but he was very silly off camera & i liked that (i’m not that into him anymore tho </3)

kim seokjin → OH BOY LET ME TELL U i liked seokjin from the very beginning (i got to know bts in late 2014) and i always liked seeing him perform and be himself and god once i realized i had a crush on him it just hit me like a mf truck, and he’s still one of my favorite people to this day

jung hoseok → god fake love era hoseok really hits different.... also yes i know i have all of bts’ hyung line on my list BUT bts was a really big part of my life for almost 6 years soooo honestly they deserve it i still think they’re great guys

choi san → when ateez made their debut in 2018 i immediately fell in love with san, he was such an amazing dancer and he captivated me right from the very beginning, to this day he’s still my bias in ateez uwu

xiao zhan → AND THEN, OCTOBER OF 2019 HAPPENS AND I WATCH CQL AND... i fall in love with xiao zhan, something i’d never expected would happen bc when i watched cql for the first time i wasn’t as invested in the story, but i really really really liked xiao zhan and one thing led to another and now here i am as a xfx

wang yibo → the thing is, i’ve known yibo since eoeo except i didn’t know cql yibo was uniq yibo (bc i’d forgotten his name) and when i looked it up i can tell you my jaw dropped to the floor bc holy shit????? also he is very silly and i love him loads ok

lee minho → ah, the man who has been my skz bias since 2018, not only is minho my bias i also kin him (there’s a lot of aspects of myself that i see in minho and vice versa) and he’s very comforting to me

bang chan → honestly, it was only a matter of time before i’d fall for bang chan, i knew the moment i got into skz again that i’d start biasing him and, well, here i am, double biasing chan & minho

WOMEN

this list is shorter bc i’ve in general always had less crushes on women than on men??? blame society forcing me into thinking i was straight for a LONG time

ariana grande → remember the 2011 layout of twitter?? where u could not only have an icon and a header, but also a background and ur twitter page was smack in the center of ur screen with the big ugly menu bar at the top??? yeah ariana grande was always my background for my l*rr* st*l*n*s*n layouts

perrie edwards → this was right around the time she was dating zayn & little mix was breaking out into the spotlight, yeah i just really loved her

andrea russett → okay so remember o2l?? andrea russett was kian’s girlfriend for a pretty long time and they always did videos together and i always thought she was super pretty

lily collins → maybe i don’t like clary in tmi all that much but i sure liked the way lily collins looked

alona tal → MY BISEXUAL AWAKENING, it’s only when i saw alona tal in spn that i realized, fuck i might be gay

park jihyo → i discovered twice (my 2nd jype group after day6) through the like ooh-ahh mv and red-haired jihyo really did something to my heart (i just rewatched it and god zombie bang chan is so mf cute)

kim jisoo → when bp made their square two comeback i was immediately smitten for red-haired jisoo in playing with fire, it’s also when i realized she was my bias out of the four members

shin ryujin → the reason that i have blue hair is partially bc of ryujin and her amazing intro in wannabe :D

xuan lu → her portrayal of jiang yanli was SO ON POINT and she’s just such a kindhearted wonderful person wow i want her hand in marriage

lee yoobin → god i’ve known dreamcatcher from back when they were still called minx and ever since i’ve always looked at dami that bit more than the rest, i was also able to see dreamcatcher live in october of 2019 and the whole experience was just so amazing !!

FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

there’s a whole lot more than just these 10 but i wanted to fit the evolution into one (1) slide as best as i could lmao

peter pan → this movie came out in 2003 (?) and he’s honestly the first fictional character i remember ever having a crush on

legolas → i was really doubting between placing haldir or legolas here but i only really got a vague haldir obsession when i was like 14

zuko → LOOK. ZUKO IN ATLA? HOT. ZUKO IN LOK? HOT EVEN IF HE’S AN OLD MAN.

will turner → man was annoying sometimes but i really liked him and his relationship with elizabeth was cute

jo harvelle → gosh i can’t believe she’s the only female character in here???? yeah she was one of my two spn faves and i’ll never forgive the screenwriters for the way they killed her off

castiel → does your fave ever get sent to super hell for being gay? no? well. mine did

kili → fili and kili’s storyline tore my heart out, spit on it, and then laughed straight in my face, KILI WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE DWARF

howl → i only watched this movie for the first time in 2020 so i kinda fucked up the tl cause i watched cql in 2019 but shh, anyways howl with his blonde hair was good looking but howl with his black hair just hits differently. i want a howl

lan jingyi → MY BABY BOY, TINIE LITTLE BABIE WHOMST I MUST PROTECT ok no but seriously this kid. i love him a lot

mu qing → BARK BARK. that’s all (that’s not all i love him a whole lot and it hurts me to see so many people misunderstand his character and only see the bad parts of him when they can forgive others for fucking up (eg. xie lian himself & feng xin) but bc mu qing doesn’t deal well with emotions suddenly he’s the bad guy??? i s2g if ppl are gonna do to him what they did to jiang cheng in the tgcf la i will RIOT)

[adenei]

Finding My Way Back To You - Ch. 3

Here you go @my-patronus-is-a-champagne-glass I nestled the prompt into this chapter. Not they’re any close to admitting anything yet...😁

Spontaneity

After their awkward conversation in the morning, Ron and Hermione had set up all the materials the Australian ministry had gotten for them, and they began their research. The owl had contained the list of Monica and Wendell Wilkins that lived within a fifty mile radius. Turns out there were twelve. 

They’d stopped for a brief lunch break, and had ordered takeaway that night for dinner. By the time night had fallen, Hermione observed their work. Of the thirty some dentist offices in the area, seventeen of them were in relatively close proximity to where eight of the Wilkins’ lived. They decided they’d start with those tomorrow. Hermione had purposely scheduled their arrival over the weekend, but forgot that Australia was ahead, so even though they left on Saturday morning, that meant they’d arrived on Sunday. Hermione was hoping for an extra day to get over the time change and plan a bit more, but she didn’t want to waste a weekday either.

“So tomorrow, we’ll start by calling the dental offices to see if there are any Dr. Wilkins.” Hermione went over the plan. They’d owled the Ministry that morning to ask about installing a telephone, and they were there by the afternoon to do so. 

“You’ll make the first few so I can listen to see how you do it, yeah?” Ron asked.

Hermione chuckled a bit. “Sure, but you weren’t terrible a few years ago when you called over the summer.”

“Yeah, but that’s just it. It’s been a few years, hasn’t it? I wouldn’t want to accidentally yell at someone again like I did to Harry’s uncle,” Ron grinned at her.

Hermione laughed. “I forgot about that! Well, I think we’re good for tonight. I won’t make you work every hour of the day.”

Ron got up to go raid the pantry in the kitchen and looked back at her. “What do you want to do instead, then? It’s only...seven.”

  Hermione thought back to the vodka she bought that morning at the store. Oh, I don’t know. We could get drunk and tell each other everything we’re afraid to say sober, Hermione thought to herself. “I don’t care. You pick.”

Ron pulled out the bag of crisps and saw the bottle behind it. “What’s this?” he pulled the bottle out and looked at her. 

“Looks like a bottle of vodka to me,” Hermione said sarcastically.

  He looked back at it, and then at Hermione again. “Want some?” he asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Sure, if you do.” So, Ron cracked open the bottle, as Hermione pulled out the mixer and some cups. They poured the glasses, and Hermione took hers. With her previous thought about getting drunk in her mind, Hermione slammed her drink, and set her empty cup back on the counter.

Ron cocked an eyebrow at her. “Are having a drink or getting drunk?”

Hermione shrugged. “Might as well have some fun before all I can think about is finding my parents.”

“You mean that’s not already the only thing on your mind?” Ron asked.

He had a point. She had become fairly obsessed with trying to make a plan today, and it wasn’t until Ron pried her away from it that she remembered that no matter how hard they planned, it wouldn’t speed up time. 

“I can think about other things, you know,” Hermione said.

“Like what?” 

“I’m going to need another drink before I tell you that,” she rolled her eyes and poured some more. She watched Ron sip his own drink, before slamming her second full glass. Hermione made to go pour a third when Ron reached out and took her cup away from her.

“Alright, what’s really going on?” he asked her.

“What do you mean?” Hermione responded. She was already feeling a bit of the effects of having drunk two glasses quickly. 

“You aren’t one to drink a lot, let alone drink to get drunk. What’s going on, Hermione?”

“Nothing,” she said. So much for trying the drinking angle to get Ron to talk about the kiss. “I’m just nervous,” she half lied. She was nervous, but her patience with the current status of their relationship was dwindling, and the two things combined were starting to get to her. 

“Do you want to go for a walk? Some fresh air might be nice, and isn’t there a Wilkins residence close by? We could always scope it out, check one off the list tonight?” Ron suggested.

He was right, some fresh air might do her some good. “Sure, I guess so.” 

She went to get her coat as Ron double checked the map they’d marked up earlier today. Sure enough, the home of Wilkins #4 as they’d labeled it was only three blocks away from them. Ron grabbed his own jacket as he stuffed the map in his pocket.

“Ready?” Ron asked, as Hermione nodded. He opened the door, and let her exit first before following and locking the door. 

The neighborhood they were in was peaceful. The air was crisp, but not too cold as they set out in the opposite direction Hermione had gone in the morning. Neither said anything as they walked on, Ron leading the way.

“Think you’ll feel a little better when we get one out of the way tonight?” Ron asked as they walked.

“I’m not sure. I doubt we’ll end up seeing anything. I don’t exactly feel comfortable invading their personal privacy, and it’s a bit late to just walk up to their door besides. Even the likelihood of it being them is incredibly slim. Who knows if any of these twelve the Australian Ministry found are even them. What if they ignored me completely and are on the other side of Australia as we speak!”

“They’re here, Hermione. They have to be. Take a right here. The house is on this street. Number 304.” 

They continued walking down the street, but couldn’t walk as slowly as Hermione would have liked because one of the homeowners was taking out their garbage at the same time. The man looked up as he saw them approach. “Evening! Looks like a beautiful night for a stroll,” he said smiling under the glow of the streetlight.

Ron’s first thought was that Australian’s were quite friendly, even to people they didn’t know, but the man sounded British more than Australian. They were maybe ten feet away when he’d spoken, and normally Hermione was the one who would exchange pleasantries, but she hadn’t spoken yet, so Ron decided he would, so they wouldn’t seem rude. “Er, hello. Yes, it’s not too cold, is it?”

“Not at all!” the man said back to them. “I’ll take an Australian winter over a British one any day, though I do miss it,” he said as he began walking toward his house. Hermione and Ron were in front of the house now, under the streetlight he’d just walked away from.

“You’re from England, too?” Ron asked. He couldn’t stop the question from falling out of his mouth. The man stopped and turned.

“Yes, we’ve been here for about a-” he froze. “Her-Hermione?” Ron saw him then. Really saw him. Could it really be Mr. Granger? But how did he know that it was Hermione? Ron thought she’d altered their memories.

Hermione was frozen. She couldn’t speak, so Ron took the lead again. “Mr. Grang- I mean, Wilkins?”

“Yes..,” the man said carefully. “Ron?” It’d been a few years since Ron had last seen him. When they dropped Hermione off the summer before sixth year.

“Yeah… How do you know who I am?” he asked hesitantly. 

“Is that really you? Is that really my Hermione?”

“...Dad?” she finally said as she stepped closer to him, but Ron grabbed her arm.

“Hermione, how can we trust it’s really him? You said they wouldn’t know who you were..” Ron didn’t care if the supposed Mr. Granger could hear him. He looked at the house. The number did say 304. “Mr. Granger, if you’re really who you say you are, you’ll need to tell us something that only you and Hermione would know.”

“Why? But that’s ridiculous! It’s been 11 months since I’ve seen my daughter-” he started to say, but Ron cut him off.

“I’m sorry, but please, we need you to. If you are who you say you are, then we’ll explain why, but after everything we’ve been through, trusting people isn’t exactly an easy task.” Ron continued to hold Hermione with one hand as his other had hold of his wand.

“Fine,fine! Anything to prove who I am. When Hermione turned eleven, we were out on the patio for tea time, celebrating with her favorite special treat, chocolate chip scones. Hermione had just opened up one of her presents, a copy of Pride and Prejudice. Her mother and I thought she was too young to start reading the classics, but she’d borrowed Charles Dickens from the library the first week back at school, so we chose that one for her. She had already started reading when that Hogwarts professor,” he scrunched his eyes in concentration, “McGonagall, was it? Came to the door with her Hogwarts letter. It was the day we’d finally understood why she was so extraordinary.”

When Mr. Granger had finished the story, Hermione broke free from Ron’s grasps and ran towards the man who was undoubtedly her father. There was no way a death eater could possibly know that story, or tell it with the true, heartfelt emotion that Mr. Granger had..

 “Daddy!” she cried as she jumped into his arms. “I’m so sorry. I had to keep you safe! I thought I’d done everything correctly, but I didn’t and I can’t believe we found you. We only just got her today, and weren’t really going to start looking until tomorrow, but Ron suggested we go for a walk, and you’re here! You’re okay!” Ron was sure tears were pouring down her face as he watched the reunion.

“Of course we’re okay, sweetheart. Would you like to come inside? Your mother, she’s been so lost lately without you. She’s had a hard time understanding.”

Ron wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t want to impede on their reunion, but he didn’t want to leave her alone either.

“Ron, you should come in as well. You traveled all this way.” Ron was relieved that Mr. Granger wanted him to come with them. He nodded as he walked up. Hermione smiled gratefully at him as they followed Mr. Granger into the house.

“Jean, dear, could you come down here and say hello to our guests?” Mr. Granger called for his wife.

“Guests? But Hugo it’s after eight! Who would be calling at this time of night?” Mrs. Granger came around the corner and dropped the book that was in her hand. “No,” she whispered. 

Hermione looked at her father hesitantly, unsure of whether she should go hug her or not. Her question was answered soon enough when her mother opened her arms up and hurried toward her daughter, who gladly reciprocated the hug. 

“You’re alive. You’re okay. I didn’t think…” Mrs. Granger couldn’t finish any of her sentences. 

“Why don’t we go sit down and talk,” Mr. Granger suggested. He led them down the hall and into their living room, where Hermione and Ron sat on one side of the sectional they had, and her parents sat on the other.

No one really knew where to start, until Hermione said. “I’m sorry I sent you here. I- I didn’t know what else to do to keep you safe.”

“Hermione, you should have told us what was going on,” Mrs. Granger said. “Here we were living our lives as Monica and Wendell Wilkins, thinking we didn’t have a daughter, and then one day in March we woke up and remembered everything! Remembered we were Jean and Hugo Granger, who had a daughter that was nowhere to be found. Wondering why on Earth we were in Australia and not home in England!”

“So the memory charm did work, then?” Hermione said, confused. “But then why did it break?”

Ron looked at her, and then at her parents. “You said it broke in March? Do you happen to know the day?”

Mr. Granger thought for a moment before responding, “Around the 21st?”

Ron looked at Hermione. “Malfoy Manor. The torture must have been too much to maintain the magic.”

“Or maybe...maybe I did-”

“Don’t say it, Hermione,” Ron said. He refused to believe she’d died and come back. He’d already lived through thinking she was dead in his arms when they apparated to Shell Cottage.

“But I must have for the spell to break,” Hermione said.

“What happened at...Malfoy Manor, did you say?” Mrs. Granger asked. “Isn’t that the same name as the boy who bullied you at school?”

“Yes, Mum. We- we got caught, and were taken there. I was tortured by one of the death eaters, and I-” Hermione couldn’t finish as Ron put his arm around her and comforted her as best he could. 

“Oh, honey,” her mother said. “So is that the reason everything came back to us?”

“It must be. I never meant for it to break. I just wanted to keep you safe.”

“Safe from what, sweetheart?” her father asked.

“So, you know how I talked about You-Know-Who up until about fourth year, and then kind of stopped after that?”

“Yes..” Mr. Granger said as her Mum nodded.

“Well, he came back at the end of fourth year. I stopped talking about it because I didn’t want you to keep me home from school. You already knew about Harry’s history with You Know Who, and being his friend, we, er, tended to get into a bit more trouble than I may have let on. We promised Harry we would go with him, help him defeat You-Know-Who. I didn’t go back to school for seventh year. We went on the run to complete a mission that was necessary to destroy him once and for all.”

“I have a feeling there’s a lot more to this story that’s going to take more than one night,” Mr. Granger said. 

“I- yes,” Hermione said guiltily. “I promise I’ll tell you everything. I won’t hide any more.”

“It doesn’t have to be done tonight, sweetheart,” her mother said. “Would you like to stay here?” 

“I-” Hermione looked at Ron. She wasn’t sure what to do.

“You can stay if you want. It’s fine,” Ron told her. It wasn’t fine for him, but if this was what her family needed, he didn’t want to stand in the way. 

“Thanks, Mum, but I think I’ll go back to the flat the Ministry put us up in,” Hermione explained to her parents, much to Ron’s surprise.

Mr. Granger gave Ron a hard look. Ron tried not to look guilty. Not that he had anything to feel guilty about. Hermione noticed too because she said, “Dad, there are two bedrooms, don’t worry.” Ron tried not to give her a look. Didn’t she just say she wasn’t going to lie anymore? “We can come back tomorrow if you’d like, and I’ll start from the beginning.”

Her parents nodded. “How does 4:00 sound? We need to be at the office until about 3,” her father said.

“That’s great,” Hermione said gratefully. Her parents walked them to the door. “Dad? Mum? Why didn’t you return to England when the spell broke?” she asked.

Ron watched as Hermione’s parents gave each other a look before her father said, “Well, we thought about it. But ultimately we knew there was a reason you would have sent us here. We knew we had to trust you, and hoped you’d find your way to us when things were okay again.”

“Thank you for trusting me.” Hermione said in a voice that clearly said ‘I don’t deserve you’.

“We missed you more than anything, sweetheart. We’re so thankful you’re safe,” Mrs. Granger said.

Hermione hugged both her parents tightly. “I love you both.”

“We love you, too. We’ll see you tomorrow afternoon,” Mr. Granger said as they made their way out the door. 

The walk back to the flat was quiet. Ron could sense Hermione’s relief, but knew there was a long road ahead, even if the search had turned out surprisingly quick.

[let-me-write-shit]

Somebody To You: 11

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CHAPTER ELEVEN:

“You are the most annoying boy on the planet!” Zoey laughed, gently rubbing her face with a cleanser as the hot steam engulfed her in the shower, “It’s baffling why so many girls are obsessed with you!”

Harry’s laugh echoed throughout the bathroom, almost sounding robotic from her phone’s speakers, “You were one of those girls before, don’t forget!”

She let the water rinse off the suds and quipped, “Yeah, well that was before I knew you. Besides, I liked Louis more.”

Harry gasped, “Take it back!”

She let out a giggle, lathering shampoo into her hands when a knock sounded at the door, “Zoey?” Nancy called, “Were you talking to me? I thought I heard you.”

“No, I’m just on the phone with Harry! He won’t leave me alone!”

Nancy chuckled, “Annoying piece of shit! Remind me why people obsess over him?”

“That’s what I said!”

The girls laughed and Nancy’s voice faded as she walked away from the door saying, “Okay, I’m heading out now. See you tonight!”

  Harry spoke again, “You two are bullies.”

“I’m trying to get ready and you won’t let me hang up!”

“For what? It’s 10 AM there! You barely got six hours of sleep after work last night, and you go back again tonight!”

“Alright, don’t you have anything better to do than memorize my work schedule and chart my sleeping habits? Like, I don’t know, perform a concert?”

“I’m off today, thank you very much!” Harry spat back. “Don’t you have anything better to do than to watch movies all day or to kidnap any more stray cats?”

“For your information, I’m going out!”

“Yeah? Where to? Another date with Brett?” Harry snorted, jokingly. After a moment of silence, he spoke again, more seriously, “Wait, really? You’re going on a date with Brett?”

“I wouldn’t call it a date…”

“Zoey!” He whined.

“What? We’re just hanging out! Andy will be there, too!”

It’s been a few weeks since Harry’s last visit, and things seemed to be going back to normal, although a few incidents worth mentioning had happened. The morning of his departure was probably the single most embarrassing moment of her life. Zoey had gotten up early. Super early. Her internal alarm clock was out of whack that day, for some reason, and so she had the pleasure of seeing the awkward morning after scene when Harry dropped Rory back off at the apartment. 

It must have been around 5 AM because it was still dark, but a faint blue was visible on the horizon. Zoey was making a cup of coffee in the dark kitchen, not wanting to turn the lights on and blind herself, when the door opened and the two stumbled in, Harry in comfortable sweats while Rory wore the same dress as the night before, crinkled now, and her long brown hair in knots. If she didn’t know Rory any better, she would have guessed she was drunk. But she knew that Rory was just clumsy when she was tired. They seemed to not notice her as he led her straight to her bedroom. But on his way out, they caught eyes and Harry gasped at the sight of her.

“Were you there when we got in?” He asked, stepping into the kitchen.

“Yes, and how very gentlemanly of you to bring my roommate back. I trust you had a good night,” she quietly joked, not wanting to wake anyone, while stirring the milk in her coffee and tapping the excess off the spoon.

Harry rolled his eyes, walking further into the dark kitchen and reaching for a mug out of the cupboard, “Yeah, it was alright.”

“Alright?” she questioned quietly, rounding the island and taking a seat on the furthest barstool. “You can’t blame poor performances on inebriation this time, H. You didn’t have a sip of alcohol last night.”

“You really are the worst,” he grinned, pouring himself a cup of coffee and silently spilling the milk in. 

It was so silent that you could barely hear Brett sneaking up behind Zoey, shirtless and only in his boxes, looping his arms around her waist and nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, moaning in his thick Australian accent, “Was wondering where you went. You were incredible last night. You up for more?”

The clank of Harry’s spoon against his mug as he stirred caught Brett’s attention and he jumped back, “Fuck!” he shouted, clutching his muscular chest, “Hey, Harry! Didn’t see you there.”

“Morning,” Harry muttered, expressionless.

“Morning,” Brett repeated, looking down to see Zoey burying her face in her hands, embarrassed. He continued, “You, uh, heading out today?”

“Yeah, just grabbing a cup of coffee before I go,” he motioned down to his mug.

Brett awkwardly chuckled, shifting on his feet, “Alright. Well, uh, safe...safe travels. I’m just gonna, uh, head back to bed.”

Harry nodded and quietly called after him, “See you later.”

Once Brett was out of sight, Zoey peeked through the cracks in her fingers at Harry who’s eyebrows were raised, waiting for her to say something. Instead, she laughed, which made the singer crack a smile.

“I trust you had a good night,” he mocked her, taking a sip of his coffee.

“It was alright,” she poked fun back.

“Well, from the sounds of it, it was way more than alright,” he said, rounding the island and sitting beside her.

“Maybe for him,” she whispered to herself.

“The kissing again?”

She furrowed her eyebrows in thought, groaning, “Yeah, I don’t know what it is. Everything else is great, I just can’t get past the horrible kissing.”

“Well have you told him?”

“I’m not a monster, I would never!” she laughed, “I just try to avoid kissing.”

He chuckled, sarcastically saying, “Nice. That’ll help.” After a moment of awkward silence he spoke again, “Can we just agree to never have a morning-after-sex run in ever again?”

“Yep, absolutely. Never again. Totally awkward,” she hurriedly agreed.

Later that day there were pictures circulating of the two of them at the beach. Fans had pretty much shut down the idea of them dating almost immediately, thankfully, but they did seem to make a connection between Zoey to Aurora and rumors began circulating about Harry and the model, which didn’t exactly help any when Harry was still trying to figure out what to do about that whole situation.

Zoey, on the other hand, had seemed to be getting better. She still missed her friend and would think of her often when she was alone but was able to enjoy her nights out now without feeling guilty. She had gone on a couple of dates with some guys she had met, though it never went anywhere. They just weren’t her type. Still, she had Brett. He had picked back up where he left off, coming over often to hang out with Zoey and her roommates.

Brett had become so close to Nancy and Rory that sometimes she’d come home from work and the three of them would be sitting on the couch or out on the balcony without Zoey knowing he would even be over that day. She didn’t mind, though. They always had fun together. Besides, every now and then after her roommates had gone to bed she would take Brett back to her room. Obviously her roommates knew something was going on between the two of them, and they knew that it wasn’t necessarily anything serious or official, but that didn’t stop them from making haughty eyes at her whenever they woke up to find that Brett was still there in the morning.

Harry clearly didn’t understand the situation with Brett, although Zoey never went into much detail about it with him. He just didn’t get the point of sleeping with someone continuously with no intention of taking it further. “You’ve been on other dates, you can clearly sleep with anyone you want. Why keep going back to Brett if you have no interest in him?” he always asked her. And it was a fair question, but she didn’t really know how to answer it. Because it was easy? Because she didn’t have to work hard for it? Because she knew him and she felt comfortable? Maybe a mix of all three? Honestly, maybe it was just because she could. Why did it matter, anyway? 

Harry continued to annoy Zoey, refusing to hang up the phone while she got ready for her ‘outing’ until there was a knock on his hotel room door. With his phone to his ear, listening to Zoey ramble on about newly learned, surprisingly interesting facts of Rome, he squinted through the peephole to see his friend and guitarist, Mitch. He opened the door for his friend and just as Mitch was about to speak, he noticed the phone against Harry’s ear and quickly shut his mouth, following the singer inside, and having a seat on the edge of his bed while Harry sat at the desk chair.

Mitch watched as Harry’s eyes widened and his smile grew, letting out a roar of a laugh, “You made that up!” The guitarist couldn’t help but smile at his friend's amusement. They caught eyes and almost as if Harry realized that Mitch was in the room, Harry cleared his throat and said, “Alright, well I’ll let you finish getting ready….Yeah, whatever. Goodluck. Bye.”

The phone went black and Harry looked up to see a smiling Mitch, “Zoey?”

Harry tried his best to conceal a grin, narrowing his eyes and placing his phone face down on the desk, “I don’t want to hear it.”

Mitch smirked, teasing him, “You sure it’s Rory you like and not Zoey?”

“Come on, man,” Harry whined, “She’s just one of my best friends, that’s all. If you met her you would know. She’s not even my type.”

“All I’m saying is I’ve seen you around Rory, and she’s a great girl, but I don’t see you smile nearly as much with her as you do when you’re talking to or about Zoey. Plus, I’ve seen her pictures. You can’t tell me that you don’t think she’s hot.”

“Of course she’s fucking hot, but that doesn’t change anything. I like Rory.”

“Yeah? Is that why you haven’t asked her out yet?”

“Oh, shut it!” Harry groaned, kicking Mitch’s legs, “She’s just a friend.”

But a little part of him worried. Mitch wasn’t the only one to tell him that. Most of his friends would comment on it whenever they caught him on the phone or talked about his little trips out to LA. They all knew of Zoey because he had mentioned her. And he realized after a few people pointed it out, that he had talked about her often. It was normal to talk about your best friends, he thought. But any time he mentioned something, they’d give him a look like he was hiding something and it started to have him second guess things. 

Did he like Zoey? He found himself wanting to talk to her every day, and that’s a pretty telltale sign of a crush. Yeah, he accidentally fantasized about her once or twice, but he did that with nearly any girl he met. Hell, he fantasized about Nancy at one point, that didn’t mean he wanted to date her. Despite what everyone thought, it IS possible to just be friends with someone of the opposite sex without wanting to sleep with them. He liked Rory. There was nothing to not like. She was sexy, smart, cultured, and made him laugh. It just wasn’t the right time to get serious, that’s all.

Zoey put on a white cropped tee, borrowed Nancy’s black denim skirt, and pulled her hair into a ponytail, deciding on a pair of converse before heading downtown to meet up with Andy and Brett for a bite to eat. They decided to sit outside on the restaurant's terrace to enjoy the beautiful warm weather. Their server, a cute, button nosed redhead, kept making eyes at Brett the whole entire time, checking in on them a little more than she probably needed to.

“If you were American you wouldn’t be getting this much attention,” Andy clicked his tongue, taking a bite of his potatoes, making Zoey laugh. Andy turned to her and waved his fork at her, “Uht uh, you not allowed to laugh. You been takin’ this fool to your bed for months now.”

It was Brett’s turn to laugh and Zoey shoved both of them, “I’m only using him for sex,” she joked.

Andy chuckled, “Period!”

“I’m not complaining,” Brett smirked, sipping his drink.

“Duh! Why would you complain when you get to see these beauties,” Andy grabbed Zoey’s chest and gave her breasts a quick squeeze.

Zoey laughed, looking at Brett, “You’re welcome.”

After another hour or so of eating, they decided to walk up and down the strip for a bit. But not before Brett got the waitress’s number. 

The three of them went in and out of little boutiques, mostly window shopping, although Andy bought himself a cute black-rimmed fedora hat when Brett shoved his phone in his back pocket and said, “Rory is going to meet up with us in a few.”

“Oh, did she get done early?” Zoey asked, checking her phone to see if she had any missed calls or texts from her. Nothing.

Brett nodded, “Yeah, she said she’s only a couple minutes out so I told her we’d meet her at the pretzel shop up here.”

Even just in the last few weeks, Rory’s career had skyrocketed. It was now to the point where she got recognized on the street and paparazzi would publish her in magazines on outings. Her DM’s were filled with famous and non-famous people, and still, she was the sweetest girl Zoey had ever met. Harry was lucky to have met her when he did. And honestly stupid for not giving her an answer yet. 

Things had been a little weird between her and Rory since Harry’s last visit, though. She couldn’t help but think that Rory was mad at her for something. Maybe it was because of the paparazzi shot of her and Harry at the beach. Or maybe her friendship with Harry annoyed her. She asked Nancy, but Nancy just shoved it off, saying Rory was probably just stressed about work and she had nothing to worry about. Still, something felt off. 

Rory had on a black bodysuit with denim shorts, a black belt, a brown blazer, and a black fedora, making sure to wear large black sunglasses. She and Brett walked side by side as Andy and Zoey walked a little further behind them, laughing at each other and joking around. They spotted an ice cream shop and called out to the other two.

“Hey! We’re going to stop for ice cream!” Andy informed them. “Want any?” Rory and Brett looked at each other and both shook their heads no. He continued, “Alright! Well, we should get going soon. We gotta change for work. Meet you there?” he asked Brett.

“Yeah, I’ll see you at work!” Brett nodded, and he and Rory walked off.

“At least she’s with Brett in case she gets noticed,” Zoey pointed out, “He’s big enough to look like a bodyguard. No one will want to mess with her.”

“Speaking of, what’s going on with her and Harry? Are they official yet, or what?”

Zoey shrugged, “Dunno.”

She was honestly so confused about them anymore. Zoey stopped bringing it up to Harry because he kept up the same sorry excuse that he always did. She didn’t even know if they were still even a thing. Sure, Aurora spoke of Harry every now and then, but it always seemed so casual and in passing. She didn’t drool over him like she used to. Maybe she was getting tired of waiting for him, which was exactly what Zoey warned him of. 

Andy shook his head, “Man, it really is all men that are dumb. That’s a damn shame if he misses out on her.”

Zoey nodded in agreement, but a part of her was always a little unsure about the prospect of them dating. I mean, Harry had pointed it out before; Aurora fit every category of the type of girl he always dated. She was a beautiful, skinny, successful model. Zoey would be lying if she said she didn’t want him to venture outside of that mold a little bit. Sure, all of their personalities were different, but maybe there was a reason that none of his relationships worked out. He needed something different.

She had to admit, it annoyed her a little bit when his fans were so quick to shut the idea down of herself and Harry dating because she wasn’t the kind of girl he dated. Not because she wanted to date him or anything. But it almost felt as if people knew that she wasn’t good enough for him because she didn’t have the typical lifestyle that the girls he usually dates did. She knew she was just as pretty and as smart and as funny as the rest of them, but because she didn’t have a social media following, there’s no way Harry would touch her. She just wanted him to prove everyone wrong. Not with her, of course. That would be absurd. But with someone. 

However, Rory was perfect. In all sense of the word. And again, he’d be stupid to let her go.

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[moviediary]

Grease 2

So, this movie kind of slaps in the worst way ever. You have to watch it with the knowledge that it’s terrible, it makes it a lot better. The songs are pretty underrated, a lot of them are low key bops and I would probably listen to them without watching the movie. It’s a product of its time so of course it’s aggressively heteronormative even though the main guys are very queer coded just like most 80s movies. The main girl is a fine singer, but her character is kind of boring and really just an ass most of the time. She also has no business being in a movie about the 50s (or maybe the 60s it’s not very clear) she is so obviously a quintessential 80s chick from her hair to her leather pants, she’s basically Sandy’s makeover as a person. In my opinion the main love interest could have done a lot better. He spends the whole movie doing the reverse of the first movie, going from geek to biker??? Yeah, they all ride motorcycles now, but they’re still called T-Birds which really doesn’t make sense but nothing in this movie really does. Oh! And Frenchy is in it, she came back to high school to complete her chemistry credits?? The whole movie is a mess but honestly, I enjoy watching it. I’ll watch it again, I already have.

Basically it’s the first movie but gender swapped and with a talent show and biker gangs.

The T-Birds really make this movie, they’re the most interesting characters in it. Their leader Johnny is funny and likeable despite being a dick, he has very obvious vulnerability and growth during the film which makes the audience not hate him. His goons are hilarious, they have some of the best lines in the movie and I actually laughed out loud at some of the shit they said. I could do without the gratuitous sexualization of high schoolers but what can you do. I don’t really understand why they have beef with this 20-person biker gang of full-grown adults that apparently have nothing better to do than antagonize 4 teenagers but hey I get it they need a common enemy. I also get that they were going for anger and jealousy when Johnny looked at Michael every time he was being his sexy mysterious biker persona but maybe they should have told him that because that definitely isn’t what’s coming across in his face. He has the biggest man crush I have ever seen I swear.

Michael, who is apparently Sandy’s cousin even though he’s British and she was Australian, really drives the story; everything happens because he wants to date Stephanie even though the only real conversations, they’ve had are just him being nice and her being a dick the whole time but I guess she’s pretty? So he becomes a biker to be what she wants because she wouldn’t date a hot smart guy with a British accent, no way he’s a loser. I guess. So instead he spends the whole movie trying to live up to her standards which is more than a little infuriating but lets be honest the plot isn’t really why you watch this movie. It really only starts happening in the 3rd act anyway, most of it is taken up by talent show hijinks and motorcycle themed music numbers. And a surprising amount of bowling. I wasn’t expecting the coolest kids in school to have their own bowling league but that bold choice did lead to a very confusing but fun musical number in which we see that Johnny sings high sometimes because he’s basically Danny in even tighter pants (somehow) and Paulette (a pink lady played by Judy Garland’s daughter) has an amazing voice that doesn’t get used enough in the songs.

There’s a lot of odd running gags in the movie that really don’t need to be there. Rhonda’s obsession with her “huge nose” even though it’s really not that big. The random teacher that had a nervous breakdown and keeps almost dying. The teacher whose whole gimmick is that she’s hot and maybe sleeping with her students? But definitely sleeping with the substitute teacher. The fact that Johnny’s right-hand man’s name is Goose? A reference to a movie that hadn’t even come out when this movie take place? I think anyway, like I said it’s really hard to pinpoint when this movie is supposed to take place. Also the T-Birds are on the football team I think? Or they’re running drills during PE which also doesn’t make sense with their characters. I don’t know man the whole movie is so strange they say stuff and then never bring it up again.

The ending is where I think the movie really lets you down. After a very weird talent show scene Where Steph has a very boring song and is all sad because she thinks Michael is dead, they have a party. And the party is a Luau and it’s quite possible one of the whitest things I’ve ever seen its so embarrassing. They have a long song about how they’re having a Luau and then they have a bunch of shirtless guys carry Steph and Johnny into a pool on a big throne/raft thing? And then the biker gang bursts in because they have nothing better to do and everyone’s screaming and throwing things it’s very chaotic. The continuity errors in this scene are absolutely outrageous. Then Michael shows up out of nowhere and Johnny literally quivers when he sees him (yeah he’s straight) and he singlehandedly kicks out all those hardened criminals. Then there’s a very long and awkward moment where they initiate Michael into the T-Birds even though school is basically over at this point and then Steph and Michael make out. One of my most hated scene tropes in movies, the very intimate confession and make out in the middle of a crowd. And then finally we have the last song of the movie in which Steph and Michael start off with a duet and their voices sound terrible together (it’s a sign and I refuse to believe otherwise) and then everyone else joins in and they try way too hard to tie up all the character’s storylines even though as the audience you weren’t really all that invested in greaser number three and pink lady number three’s sex life and most of these things didn’t really need to be sung out loud they were pretty minor parts of the movie. And oh, okay, everyone now ends up in a relationship even Paulette’s younger sister who I thought was in like, middle school but now I guess she’s dating the dumb guy from the T-Birds but they’re all seniors?? Okay…yeah, the ending fucking sucks it’s the worst part. The song is long and boring, and the choreography is bad but then they recap a bunch of the better songs during the credits and it’s all fine again!

Overall, the movie isn’t nearly as bad as I’ve heard other people say, I’ve seen much worse. And the thing is, the bad parts are kinda what makes it great in the first place. It’s kind of like when they made mean girls 2. It’s not really a sequel because non of the actually important characters are in it (except for Frenchy but she’s only there for like 10 minutes tops). It’s a cash grab but not the worst one. The songs are fun, and the characters are pretty fucking funny if you ignore how weird it is that they’re all like 30. I’d say watch it if it’s free to stream, don’t rent it. I probably get more out of it than a normal sane person because I read into character’s and their emotional connections way too much I basically am rewriting it in my head. I doubt anyone would be interested but I definitely broke down all the characters and their motivations and tried to figure out their actions, also known as me trying to create queer characters off of very unstable reasoning. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, the people in this movie are pretty hot and most of the songs kinda slap so even if the plot is questionable other things make up for it.

As of now this movie is available for streaming on Amazon prime.

Final Verdict:

On my scale 7/10

Actual good movie scale 4/10

[ithinkthingsaboutstuff]

I have hit a mental snag as of late, so I am just going to lay some things out and see if I can make a cohesive thought or point out of the whole thing.

I will be getting a little personal so I will leave it under the cut 

since ace week and the fact I had no internet I was left sitting in my thoughts for basically the whole time (I live in a farm area and with lock down I could not really go out). 

This is the year I came out as ace (new years in fact) 

but I would like to lay out my experience with the whole ‘journey’ to that point. I have been on this site on and off for about a decade now (I feel old saying that), but in all my time here I have never actually read a ‘ growing up ace story’ shared for ‘start to finish’ so to speck.     

so here we go....

I never really felt like there was something wrong with me, before I hit puberty. cause, “kids don’t have those kinds of feelings” but it was when I got to high school (which in my country starts when your about 12-13) I started to notice things change.

I felt the same as I always had but others didn’t. 

they were all looking at each other in ways I could not wrap my head around, but I was told I was a ‘late bloomer’ so I didn’t worry about it to much.

it was when I was 15 that things really started to get...well it took a turn. 

I started a different (nicer) high school and got new friends, 

and my friends funny enough was the queer squad, my main friends were, a semi-closeted gay (he only came out to a hand full of people I was one of them), an openly bubbly bi girl, a her lesbian gf (gifted kid TM) and G a bi girl who (unfortunately) had a lot of...issues. 

G was a really into queer politics and causes, but she was ironically why it took me so long to realise that I was ace. She would talk about politics none stop (she wanted to be a politician) but she would make everything a political ‘debate’ and by debate I mean she would lecture you on how she was right. 

now I won’t g through G’s history here but I will give you the basics she was 

- a compulsive liar 

-had a bad home life (neglectful parents, a semi violent younger sister who she had to take care of) 

- had a fair few health issues (IDK the full extent due to the lying, as she once claimed to basically have blood cancer one week and then had a brain tumour/ clot the next, these were the proven lies)  

-had attachment issues (particularly to bi girl and semi out gay) to the point of manipulation. 

Now I should get back to my story. 

G was seen as authority on all things LGBT+ and I at the time didn’t know what being ace even was so I thought I was straight (ding doing I was wrong). and it was a joke that I was the “token straight” in the friend group (jokes on me huh). Anyway, I mention G because in all the time I knew her and all the talk she made about lgbt+ to the point of wanting to be a politician rep, she actually never saw ace as lgbt+, now let me be clear she never harassed anyone but I do remember some conversations on the topic. It was basically what you would hear in any AcE DiScOrD tag today (which was new at the time I might add). So you can see how my view of the ace community started. Not great....

I remember something twisting in me every time we would have conversations like this, an ache I could not pin point, I now know what it was.

I asked her to explain was ace and asexual was, she would tell me and I would feel a small small spark in me trying to light as the words and explanation made sense to me and it just as the knot was coming undone, she would then say they are fake and attention seekers or something much worse and the knot would squeeze back tighter. Now i am not saying it was all her fault or anything that would be dumb, but she certainly shaped my teenage view on the whole thing.

that view was one of mistrust and disgust. 

G was not a good friend at the best of times but the ‘friendship’ ended for me when she used my apparent “straightness” as a tool to manipulate semi-out friend to not be closer to me then her (she would tell him he was a bad person be because a ‘straight’ like me could never understand him they way she did) this would cause his server anxiety to kick in and he would literally have attacks over hanging out with me “over” her, so I cut her out of my life as a friend. we were 17-18. 

so I had 3 years of my critical teen years, of this person telling me that what I was (or even what I thought I was) could never be ‘right’, ‘good’ or ‘valid’ that lead me to lose closeness to someone I cared (and still care) deeply about. Because I was not ‘enough’ to be part of the group. 

I can’t describe what those years did to me mentally. It made me reject myself in a way I didn’t know was possible. All the times I was asked if I was “alright” but people and my own older sister said many, many times 

“there must be something wrong with you”

whenever the conversation turned to dating/sex. 

how many times I was called a lair, for saying I don’t care what people look like as long as their a good person, because “That’s not realistic”. my grandma thought I was gay because i had no interest in boys and she had a ‘not again’ look to her (my uncle is a gay man) even my uncle gave me the must be a lesbian look more times then I could count. It was not that people thought i was gay that bothered me it was that they were not listening or believing me when I told them what I truly felt, regardless of who they were (straight or gay).        

and none of this is even touching on the years I spent going to doctors for ovary issues, and them obsessing over my libido and hormones over and over again, when I said I don’t really feel attraction.    

but finally....

Once I was 18-19 and headed into uni. 

I have met wonderful people there, and one of the first friends I made was an indigenous Australian bi woman who was about 3 years older then me. the one to open my thoughts back open to my identity again. she did it with a simple question 

‘do you think you might be ace?’

at the time all I knew was what G had told me and how “people” felt about aces, when I shared this, my new friend looked horrified at the answer. she walked me through the explanation again but this time her point was not about how ‘valid’ aces were but rather how they have been in the community for decades.  she even throw in one or two story's she had learned from her indigenous background about how ace’s are seen in her community as well (it was interesting but I am afraid I don’t remember all the details and don’t wish to misquote her)

this did not ‘sell me’ on myself being ace but it did reopen the door for me to look into what being ace actually means.

and after years of learning and feeling as I always had, I came to a realisation. I have never actually ‘fit in’ to the hereto normative narrative.... But I didn’t ‘fit in’ the ‘queer classic’ narrative either.

so from when I was 22- 23 I looked for, watched and I listened to ace people (and other lgbt+ groups) on and off line, to see if anything started to feel right. Ace/ asexual was what called to me the most and was what I connect to most.

so after one more year I knew what I was, and it was like a whole lot of things fell into place, and I actually made sense to me for the first time in a long time.   

I came out at the start of this year to one person in my fam and that is all I plan on telling as the explanations are not worth the trouble (the acceptance is not the issue). but I wear my black ring with silent pride and its good enough for me.

because I’m good enough for me, I always have been       

[lurafita]

Peter/Avengers, dub/con, captivity, Part three

TAGGING PEOPLE DIDN’T WORK! I don’t know why, but everytime I tried tagging someone, tumblr suddenly redirected me to their blog, instead of just writing down the name. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what the issue is. I have got in contact with support and am awaiting their answer, but until then, I hope you were still able to find this part! Again, so sorry!

Read Part 1: here

Read Part 2: here

People, heed the tags for upcoming parts in this story.

kidnapping, dub/con, captivity, chains, bondage, obsessive Avengers, Peter/Everyone, darkly soft Avengers (in the sense that they hold Peter captive, but only want to love and protect him), non-powered Peter, dark-ish Avengers, 18+ Peter, Clint is not married and has no kids, Tony is not in a relationship with Pepper.

(I feel like a cheat for tagging these things, even though I still haven’t gotten to the juicy bits in this fic...)

Part 3

Peter had long since retired, when the others gathered in the common floors living room, to further discuss the bomb the younger man had dropped on them mere hours ago.

Clint was waving his phone around wildly. “Australia is the most poisonous continent in the world! There are frogs that can kill you! Frogs!”

Bruce was frowning deeply. “The climate is drastically different there. Neither his body, nor his immune system will easily adapt. Petey could develop numerous illnesses because of that.”

Sam was likewise shaking his head. “Pumpkin doesn't have the physicality for weeks long hiking in the jungle. He may be good at parkour, but that is still miles away from the terrain that will await him in the underbrush.”

Steve made a sound like a wounded animal. “Don't remind me of that particular hobby of his, please. I still have nightmares from that video he showed us.”

Tony threw back his scotch. “Six months. Possibly longer. Sweetheart shouldn't be away from us for such a long time. Shouldn't be away at all.”

Bucky was pacing, the Winter Soldier clawing at his very being. “There isn't enough Intel. We don't know the people that would be part of his group. Don't know the terrain. Can't predict the conditions. Can't entrust Doll to strangers. Not safe.”

Natasha was stoically silent, though her face was stormy.

Thor looked contemplative. “...Then maybe we shouldn't let him go.”

The others stilled, all looking at the Asgardian.

“Hate to break it to you, L'Oreal, but I already tried bribing the University's board, in order to make them reject Stoddard's little excursion. No dice. Figures Peter would attend the one university in this stupid city that holds academic achievements in a higher regard than funding.”

A snort of pure disgust left the billionaires mouth, as he stood up to refill his glass.

But Thor shook his head. “I'm not saying to not let other people embark on this quest. I'm saying not to let Peter go.”

Steve wrung his hands. “We can't exactly keep him from going...”

Thor raised a challenging eyebrow. “Why not? He is a lovely creature, but he is not blessed with strength and battle prowess like the rest of us are. I imagine it would be quite easy to keep him here.”

The others looked around them uncomfortably.

“It's not that we wouldn't be capable of keeping him here, Thor, so much as that we... shouldn't...do something like this.” Sam awkwardly rubbed his neck.

“... Why shouldn't we?” But this time the question didn't come from Thor, but from Bucky.

Nervously wiping his hands over his thighs, Bruce tried to give reason to his words, while the Hulk was roaring in agreement with the Winter Soldier.

“It's... We can't... Peter isn't a child. Or a pet. … We have no right to just... keep him.”

Natasha spoke for the first time, her voice even.

“Don't we? Haven't we taken him in? Haven't we taken care of him for the last year? Aren't we the ones most responsible for his safety and well being? You just counted off all the dangers awaiting Lastashka if he joins this excursion. It's not safe. And he is ours to protect.”

Tony slowly set down his glass, eyes going back and forth during his inner debate.

“It's not like we would be doing something bad... He needs us. He can barely remember to feed himself.”

Clint gave him a sardonic look for that.

“Yeah, I'm not gonna comment on how very hypocritical that is coming from you. But you are right. Last week he almost fainted, because he wanted to finish his thesis, and didn't sleep for two days straight.”

Tony's head shot up at this.

“What? Why didn't I know about this? Friday? I thought I told you to keep an eye on my Sweetheart's sleeping schedule.”

“Peter asked me not to inform you of this, when I attempted to get him to sleep. He said it wouldn’t be a regular occurrence, and that after he finished with his work, he wouldn't have to neglect his rest so severely again. Since you yourself have abstained from sleep on far more occasions, I promised Peter discretion on the matter.”

Dammit!

Clint simply pointed to him.

“See? Hypocrite. But this just helps to prove the fact that Pete isn't very good at taking care of himself. And we can't leave him to a bunch of nerdy strangers. Nat is right. He is ours to protect.”

Bucky nodded along with this reasoning, as Sam pursed his lips.

“It's not like there is any guarantee that this plant this professor is looking for will really cure the disease, right? It's not worth it for Pumpkin to risk his health, possibly even his life, on a fools errand.”

Bruce couldn't ignore the words of his friends,and the desires of himself and the Hulk, any longer.

“I have been on such fruitless excursions during my time in university. I remember the hopeful anticipation in the beginning. And the crushing devastation when we came back empty handed. I would like to spare Petey such an experience.”

Steve held up his hands.

“Whoa, whoa, guys. You aren't seriously considering,- what? Kidnapping Peter? Keeping him locked up here with us?”

Bucky spoke before anyone else could.

“He would be safe here. We can protect him. Care for him. Love him.”

Natasha nodded.

“We won't hurt him. He won't understand or like it, at first. But he will come around.”

Tony carefully chimed in.

“It will take some time. Patience. Affection. But... since everyone will be thinking he is gonna be in the depths of the Australian underbrush for at least half a year...”

Clint was already a step ahead.

“The Tower is listed as Peter's official address, and Tony and Bruce as the overseers of his internship. It wouldn't be suspicious if one of them called the university the day of the groups departure, to report that Peter can't make it due to sudden injury or illness.”

Sam hopped right on.

“They will want to catch a very early flight, won't they? It's a bit of a trip to another continent. We could throw a little 'Good-bye' party for Pete. Invite his friends and aunt. Tell everyone one of us would drive him to the airport the next morning...”

A thoughtful crease appeared between Bruce's eyebrows.

“The professors usually tell the students and volunteers in their group to leave things like their cellphones at home. There is rarely opportunity to charge the battery, and if you are deep in the jungle, there is no reception anyway. So no one would be expecting to hear from him before the excursion team gets back. By that time,... surely Petey won't want to leave us again.”

Steve took a step forward.

“Okay, stop. Do you realize what you are talking about? We can't do this.”

“Don't you love him?” Thor's usually booming voice was quite, almost a whisper.

Steve nodded. “Of course I do. But-”

“Don't you wish to protect him? To know that he is safe?” Sam added.

“I do. But that doesn't mean-”

“Haven't things been so much better since he came to live with us? We have all been more careful during missions, taking less risks, causing less damage, because we know Peter is here, waiting for us to come back.” Clint threw in.

“I-”

“Peter was underweight when he started living here, you know? He got some acid on his shirt, and had to change out of it. I could count his ribs back then. His clothes don't look like they are his two heads taller brother’s hand-me-downs any longer, because we have made sure that he eats regularly. Do you think anyone else will do that for him in Australia?” Bruce asked.

“They.. no, they probably wouldn't..”

“You have been drawing more, since Peter found some of your older sketches. It has helped you relax. Been a way for you to deal with the things we have been through. I know half of your sketchbook is full of drawings of him. Do you really think you can go back to before? Capture other motifs on paper? Be without your muse for six whole months, and possibly longer?” Bucky implored.

“I didn't think of that.... I... I couldn't...”

“When I was a child, I have never been allowed to want something. We were weapons, there was no room for wishes. I have gotten to experience friendship and trust since then, and maybe it is selfish to ask for more. But I want more, Steve. I want Peter. I want him to be here with us, not somewhere in some jungle that might take him from us. My trainers kept me from wanting then, will this world's ideal of morality still keep me from wanting now?” She looked at him with eyes fuller of emotion than they had ever been.

“Natasha, I... no, of course you are allowed to want-”

“I don't care if I'm being selfish. We are heroes, Steve. Earth's mightiest defenders, isn't that what they call us? We go out there and fight everyone's enemies. People are safe because of us. But I will tell you right now, the only reason I have been able to sleep through a whole night recently, is Peter. I have seen so much shit in my life, Steve. Before the Avengers were ever formed, and then even more after we got this little superhero boy-band together. I used to tinker in my lab for days on end, because I knew that at one point my body would shut down on its own, and I would get the sleep I needed, with only the minimum of all the delightful nightmares my ptsd ridden brain could come up with. But ever since Peter has been here, it's better. I go to bed thinking about the way his eyes light up, whenever I show him a new upgrade for a current project, instead of the wide open eyes of the dead child we were too late to safe. I'm able to sleep dreaming about the noises he would make, if I bit the nape of his neck just so, instead of recalling flying a nuke through a portal and falling to what was supposed to be my death. Don't try to tell me you haven't had similar experiences with him. Don't try to lie about this. We deserve to be selfish with the person we love.”

“I, I know, Tony. I'm not saying that I don't understand...” The protest was feeble, weak. Steve was already more than halfway convinced.

“In Asgard, Peter would be called a 'Melmir'. A gift. Something to be kept to ourselves and safe at all cost.” Thor had stood, stepping closer to his friend.

“Peter isn't a thing.”

“I did not mean to imply such. A treasure needs not be an object to be called precious. Peter is precious, is he not?”

Steve looked determinedly into the eyes of his taller friend.

“He is.”

Then the super soldier looked at his teammates around him. His friends. And he saw his own feelings reflected in their eyes.

“And he is ours.”

______________________________________________________________

Read Part 4: here

Yeah, so this part was supposed to dive right into the chains and captivity and other stuff that I promised, but then I got caught up in the dialouge and, well....

I do hope you still liked it though. I will try to be faster with the next part.

[australian-desi]

Qurban Hua ~ Episode 1: Of Rakhis, Token White People and Mithai

So like I was playing the sims 4 and my sim’s only daughter (she has 5 kids - 4 sons, 1 daughter) just died from an accidental drowning on her eldest brother’s birthday party (but I quit without saving so she’s back to life). So that killed the whole gameplay mood. And I’ve decided to absolutely ignore my master’s degree (yes I’m going to be at uni for 5,000,000 years - fight me) I am going to liveblog both shows (Qurbaan Hua and Pavitra Bhagya coz that’s what was asked of me). My tolerance for shitty television has reduced since KZK so let’s see how long these liveblogs last....

So without further ado, here’s the first Liveblog of 2020: Qurban Hua (honestly just watching this show for Karan Jotwani’s face and physique) 

Ooh we’re in the hills, with Krishna’s bhansuri and the feelzzz of sanskar

So we’re in Uttarkhand (sorry if I botched the spelling) with moustache uncle and representative white dude who has come to ‘find himself’ 

Do not give a damn about the religious talk (also this white dude doesn’t even know who Ram ji is, he’s just here to drink some bhang, go to a wedding, witness some poverty and go back home) 

Moustache uncle is blind and we see this when he walks with a tree branch (no exaggeration) and his eyes closed. Nothing speaks ‘this person is blind’ than having them close their eyes for every shot 

SO MANS ISN’T EVEN BLIND - HE’S JUST MOTHERFKN COSPLAYING TO BE A BLIND PERSON 

honestly, what is this bakchodi where is my boi 

Yaar ab shivji ke gaane bhi sunne padenge, kya loge main characters ko introduce karne ke liye 

Ohhh he’s the head priest’s son and has become an ‘awara shehar waala’ rather than take over for his dad, who is too weak to carry the aag thaali (I do not know what it is called)

“daya aati hai mujhe Vyasji ki hassi par, pata nahi Vyasji ka launda, unki kaleje mein aag laga kar, shehar mein kaunsi aag bhuja raha hai?” So I thought what a weird dialogue, and then in the next fkn scene: 

THERE’S SOMEONE LITERALLY ON FIRE AND HE’S COME TO SAVE HER

Also behen, toda dimaag laga, the fire isn’t that bad yet, her fkn arms are so loosely tied, and she has the lung capacity to scream ‘aag aag’ rather than find a better way to save herself, and save her energy and breath so she doesn’t pass out. 

All these people and not one person calls the fire brigade 

They call Neel instead, coz he’s invincible 

Now comes a dramatic sequence of events

My man runs, unaffected by the spitting fire, there is another boi who is so happy to see him and willingly crouches just so mans can quite literally yeet himself on to the roof and break the window to save her. Not before giving some dramatic looks

A. Only her apartment was on fire, not the whole building, he could’ve easily taken the stairs. B. why was the fkn fire not spreading and C. It took him 3 seconds to get her out of that knot, so like as if she couldnt wriggle her hands out of it (maybe if she wasn’t wearing 300 chudiyas, she might’ve been able to) 

I would also thank the gods they gave him winter clothing with a high neck to wear (coz nothing is hotter to me than men in high neck sweaters - it highlights their jawlines, shows off their muscles and shows how long their neck is) #FashionTipsWithAustralianDesi 

OMG IT WAS A SCENE FOR A MOVIE OR SOMETHING OMG. OKAY YOU WIN FKN HELL. HINDI SERIALS: 1, AUSTRALIAN DESI: 29043284 

Look how adorable he looks

“Production? sorry mera naam actually  woh Neelkanth Bhatt Dhyani hai aur main baju-waale hotel mein chef hoon, mujhe laga tha aag lagi thi toh bachane aa gaya” 

Hahahah, noice mans is a chef. Also his name is longer than my life. And so far, in the 3 minutes I’ve watched of him, I really like him. Let’s hope he stays that way

Let’s be real, I watched the promos, I’m going to savour whatever niceness we get of him 

Okay so dude that looked at him, is the Pushkar/Rudra/Insert-comedic relief-younger-sibling, and basically said that our mans here is on a mission to save a girl every day. Wow what a hobby 

“Aag, Aag, continue, aag, aag, aag, continue” hahahah he’s slowly backing out of there 

Mans wants to do one good deed everyday - that’s a rare quality for a tellywood man (he does it because his sister does one good deed a day for his wellbeing - I don’t understand the logic but whatever)

OH MY FKN GOD WE HAVE AN ANJALI 

She’s made a fkn shrine for him (absolutely love the pictures though) 

And he calls his sister ‘Bhags’ - short for Bhagwan because she is god for him

I think these two could give Arnav-Anjali a run for their money 

...And she’s preggers - and so he doesn’t want her pregnancy to have any complications so he’s going to do one good deed a day

let’s see how shit blows in their face - is it a kamina husband, a manipulative mother or a cunning father 

Also gotta love how her husband is probably chilling while Neel is all like ‘MY DIDI’ 

No one: 

No one:

Not even Neil’s fkn mother 

Saraswati: NEIL IS COMING AFTER 3 MONTHS EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT 

Welcome Saraswati Anjali 

This man is completely evil. Change my mind. 

So they went with the Kamina husband/brother-in-law 

Who has a problem that Neel is a chef. But let’s be real he wants Neel to be a chef so he could become the head priest 

I AM ONTO YOU. THIS ISN’T MY FIRST RODEO 

And she’s just here to talk about the successes and accomplishments of her brother, because like Anjali, she has nothing better to do in life 

Whatever her husband says goes right over my head, also it’s Saras-Wati not Sarasti 

So proud of his Personal Protective Equipment. Thank god a career being shown properly

Also this looks really small and homely for an industrial kitchen 

So the ‘villain’ of his life is here. Little does he know, that whether he keeps his job or not does not matter, all that matters is that his rakhi is never removed. 

“Main apni behen ko bhool nahi sakta, isliye yeh rakhi agle raksha bhandhan tak, nahi utregi” ummm how bad is your memory that you forget your sister unless there’s a rakhi on your wrist???? 

“Mere kitchen mein yeh sab bilkul allowed nahi hai, no rings, no watches, aur yeh tacky rakhi toh bilkul nahi, afterall hygeine har cook ki responsibility hoti hai” 

“Yeh rakhi toh na utregi sir,” “acha toh phir yeh jo haath mein hai, woh meri kitchen mein khaana nahi bana sakte hai” 

Wow he didn’t have to call the rakhi tacky. Also like, couldn’t you have a dimaag like Arnav, and keep them in a little box, and then show your sister like “look I kept all your rakhis” 

Now watch him cook with one hand, just to prove a point 

TOLD YA 

Also the dude seemed pretty happy with him, I would’ve been like “banda chuthiya ho gaya hai” 

Also his friend is really annoying me with his overreactions to simple things 

He’s saying that he’s going to make the Singoria for the ‘bhakts’ and not for his dad, coz he doesn’t think he needs to ask for an apology to follow his heart 

I enjoy this content, I like this boi. At least he stands by his actions

“Shaakal ko khush karne ke liye jijaji kaafi hai” Wow the Shyam vibes from his jijaji are through the roof 

He said that line like he’s plotting murder or something with the fire reflected on his face

Also can they stop with the Kedarnath soundtrack 

Lol this procession is still going on, it’s been going on for like 3 days. Like, in the time Neel did his wall climbing stunt, saved a woman who was ‘on fire’, stopped a film shoot, told his whole life story and his love obsession for his sister, went through an inspection and made food for a whole restaurant while sassing his boss, and the procession is still going on

 Omg no, now there’s a fkn murgi - WHICH IS ALIVE HOW IS THIS A PROBLEM, JUST MOVE IT AND CONTINUE WALKING 

I mean making him slip would’ve been more fun than a fkn murgi stopping him - also its alive so how is this an apshagun? Imma skip this I cannot 

NOW FKN FAKE ANJALI IS LIKE “the chicken is a mother, do not touch her eggs, she will not look after her children and then they will never be able to feel the mother-child love” 

Gurl, its a chicken. Chill. If it had this much feeling, it would not let go of it’s child 

Okay, here’s a wild thought - why not just walk around it

The chicken isn’t even taking over the whole step, if everyone walks in a single file, you should be able to pass the chicken

but if we use our brains how will this be a hindi serial 

Man fkn hell this the problem in India, the fkn mindset that “dharm se badke aur kuch nahi hai” is2g if people move away from that thought, life would be easier

Also Sarasti is just here caressing her belly, being all like motherhood is the biggest dharm #OhSnap #MicDrop 

So Vyasji has said his first lines of the show and basically whatever I’m understanding is that dharm should be a part of your life, not your whole life and disregarding emotions for your dharm is in fact the opposite of dharm. Wow the man has some sense. Also the actor looks done and does not seem into it - I do not blame him one bit 

And fake Anjali is all like “yay papa is on my side - fuck you husband” 

NEEL YOU FKN IDIOT, IT’S JUST A BAG COULDN’T YOU TAKE IT WITH YOU, NOW THE SANGORIA ARE GONNA GET MISPLACED I ALREADY KNOW. 

ab yeh kaun hai, jo Dhoom ke set se yahan aa gaya 

and he took the wrong bag - well done Neel, that’s all on you

OMG AT LEAST HE REALISED THANK GOD 

Great, now he’s gonna do some Dhoom-esque stunts 

How dumb is the other dude, like there’s someone that’s literally chasing you and you aren’t going to stop to ask them why

Omg he’s actually grabbing it. Is2g if the prasad is completely fine still, Imma flip 

Yeh chal kya raha hai? Is the other dude literally fighting for the supposed kachoris? 

Oh wow its a wamen. And here we begin the #Romance  

HE LITERALLY JUST SAW HER HAIR AND IS SMITTEN - ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE MY FRIEND 

Lovely, he got distracted and she’s gone off with his Sangoria 

Ofcourse he’s like a girl tricked me, now it’s an ego thing. At least he’s admitting it to be an ego ting 

But also like dude do you not believe women can be cunning? I mean we’re literally known for possessing that single trait 

Wow look how happy she is for some Sangoria - and look how dumb she is for not questioning the dude that was chasing her as to why was he after the bag 

OF-FUCKING-COURSE she had to be a social worker who helps the gareeb bachche 

I gotta love how she’s like, why is there mithai here instead of kachoris - proceeds to eat them because the kids were like we like mithai

Behen, kya aap kisi ka bhi khaana leke kha leti ho? 

Like why wouldn’t you put two and two together 

Why would someone be ready to fight you for this mithai. Do you have any logical thinking skills? 

Me when I check my results. The absolute shock horror on his face is sending me 

"Tum pahadi ho?” “Haan aur sharminda bhi” “Itni der se tumhara peecha kar raha tha, tab nahi samajh aaya?” “Nahin mujhe laga koi chor badmaash hai,” 

Love the logic, love that she was so ashamed that she didn’t bother to give his mithai back - what is this character 

She’s literally telling him how to handle his father that she’s never met. 

Dude if it was that easy, would he be this stressed? 

That was quick - she had video evidence that some gunde were making these kids become beggars, and got them arrested while also making Neel feel like he did his one good deed today and she conveniently has her own childcare 

Wow we have an evil maami too, and some random man wanting to kill our gurl

She’s basically saying how Neel will definitely forget to bring the bhog 

Little does she know he won’t forget, he’ll just have some misfortune which will cause him to not bring it

Now poor Sarasti is bringing her dad a shawl and convincing him to go change, but him being the brown dad he is, is all like “If only your idiotic brother was here, I would be sitting on the terrace watching this pooja, looking at him proudly, but he is a nalaayak and alas I am here,” 

He’s literally so salty that he wants to cook, it’s so funny, I can’t 

First of all, why is everyone just taunting Sarasti about her brother’s actions, like I get how close they are but they aren’t the same person??

Now she’s saying that he’s on his way - ah little does she know, he’s distracted by a wamen 

Omg he’s literally telling the story of the Prayag Pushp (a flower I think) “that only blooms when 2 true lovers meet for the first time, and no one has seen it bloom, and no one will see it bloom in this family, and with the same confidence, I am telling you your bhola will not come” wow the amount of trust in your son. I am loving it

Also like who wants to bet the flower is going to bloom when he marries this girl or when they have a dramatic meet up 

“Hey bhole baba, agli baar mujhe uss theeki shezwan sauce se mat milwana” Lol is he dumb or is he dumb 

OMG GOD IN THIS SERIAL IS EXTREMELY FAST. HE PRAYED 2 SECONDS BEFORE AND IN THE NEXT SECOND SHE’S IN FRONT OF HIM

She’s deaf as well, he’s literally calling her and she’s like nope, I am looking outside can only focus on one thing at a time 

“Bache hai kya, joh window seat ke liye itne excited ho rahe hai” “Sifaljiya kahi ka” Okay I’m loving the banter but also have no idea what she just called him 

“Kya kaha tumne? Kaunsi bhasha mein gaali di?” “Mars pe boli jaati hai yeh zubaan, gaye ho kabhi?” 

People I ship it! 

“Lokhar ka sir hai kya tumhaara?” This idiot 

Oh good its these ainvayi ke gunde, mans is never going to reach home in this decade  

And they’re on the bus to beat her? Very normal

And ofcourse this our mans’ good deed of the day

“Kya ho gaya bhai ji? Koi takleef?” Love this man so much. The sass and the politeness how does he do it? 

“Teri saki lagti hai kya?” “Meri patni hai yeh” wow man, like honestly dost bol deta, behen bol deta. Nahi she is now my wife for rescuing purposes (what an Omkara thing to do) 

OMG YES THEIR BACKGROUND SCORE IS KURBAAN HUA FROM KURBAAN - I LOVE THAT SONG 

So the episode ends here and wow this took so long to do coz they decided to make the episode 40 minutes long. So far I like it. I just wish the girl becomes smarter (also what even is her name?) 

[purplesurveys]

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Does your family have any Christmas traditions? We go to mass on Christmas Eve evening and open presents at midnight. We also go to a certain relative’s house to have monito-monita and occasionally family who have moved abroad will come back to visit; and in the last few years we’ve also been going to my mom’s brother’s place because they also throw a Christmas party. Have you been to Mount Rushmore? No. How many of the United States have you been to? Zero. Where's your ideal vacation spot? Somewhere not too flashy or tourist-y and with a lot of culture and cuisine and things to learn, like Morocco. What meal can you absolutely not stand? Sinigang.

Would you rather live in Idaho, Siberia, or the Australian outback? Siberia. I think I’d find the scenery and the cold weather soothing. The remoteness of the outback would make me go insane in a few days, and I don’t know much about Idaho to want to live there. What's the weather outside like? It’s midnight so it’s a bit colder than how blistering the heat is during the day. It’s not January levels of cold anymore, but I’m still content. Do you (over)use emoticons? Nah I’m a little frugal with them these days. I’ve observed that people will find you too nice and thus find it easier to step all over you if you use too many emojis or emoticons, so over the years I’ve really cut down on them lol. Easier to establish myself as ~alpha that way. Do you get paranoid that someone's looking at your through your window? Yeah absolutely, even if my room is on the second floor. That’s why I like having my blinds pulled all the way down. Do you sleep with the door open, kinda open, or completely closed? Completely closed. What color would you dye your hair if you HAD to? Dark green. What phrase/word do you tend to use a lot? “Yeah dude” when with friends. Right now I’m also using ‘sis’ or ‘ma’am’ a lot when referring to anyone, lol. What grade did you get on your last major test? We were able to take a few exams but we never got the results back because the quarantine threw our academic schedule way off. What color was your Gameboy Color? I didn’t have my own because I never played video games myself, but my cousin had a purple Gameboy Advance and I just used to watch him play all the time. How many piercings do you have? Two. Surprisingly they’ve never closed up considering I haven’t hung earrings in them in more than a decade. Mountains, oceans, or forests? Right now, oceans. Both the schools I’ve attended are technically forests, and my city is already mountainous. A break from both and a trip to the beach would be perfect right now. Have you colored in a coloring book since age 10? I’ve enjoyed coloring books since I was 5, I think. If that’s what you mean. How many times have you moved/changed houses? Three. My parents lived in an apartment for some time, then they moved to my dad’s family in Tondo so that my paternal grandma can take care of me, then when I was 2 we transferred to our current city but this time to move in with my mom’s family, so my maternal grandma could take care of me, then a decade later we moved to our present house, just a village away. When was the last time you "de-haired" your hairbrush? I use a comb, which doesn’t have to be ~dehaired. Blistering cold or boiling hot weather? COLD. Fuckkkkkk the heat. I hate sweating, I hate feeling sticky, and I hate how bright the sun is and how uncomfortable it makes me. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. I did have my headphones phase as a teenager though. What was the last movie you saw in theatres? Knives Out. Hated every minute of it, but I did it for Gab.

Do you have any friends that are from out of country? There were people I was friends with before they migrated, with promises of keeping touch yadda yadda – but the distance has ultimately made the friendships dissipate. This was me with people like Raegan, Chrissy, Aubrey, Andi, Angel, etc. who all moved to either the US or Canada. No one’s fault, shit really just be like that sometimes. Do you want Obama to serve a second term in 2012? I think he did, right? What's your lucky number? Does it ever grant any luck? I don’t believe in luck but my go-to number is 4, just because. Not really. Do you take showers so hot, your skin turns pink? Mmmm no not really. I can handle hot showers/baths but nothing that changes my skin color. How old were you when you got chicken pox? I...‘ve never had it yet :( I think of this at least once a week, lmao. Are you afraid that you'll get swine flu? 2009 passed and I didn’t so. Are any of your great grandparents still alive? I think so? We don’t talk about famlly a lot but I think I’ve heard my dad talk about his grandma. Alex Trebek or Bob Barker? Alex Trebek for sure. Wii, Playstation 3, or XBOX 360? These are all virtually vintage now but I’ll always have a connection with the Wii. What's your sexual orientation? No clue most days, but I say demisexual when I’m asked so that I don’t get the confused looks if I do say that I don’t identify as anything. How tall are you? A little over five feet. Who/what are you obsessed with currently? Videos from BuzzFeed Tasty. But I only watch the stuff with Andrew, Andrew and Steven (for Worth It), Rie, Niki, and Alvin. The others haven’t really won me over just yet. Have you had any snow days this year? We don’t have those at all. Do you need to clip your nails? Not right now, no. Could you go for a dip in the jacuzzi right now? I’ll pass. What's your favorite TV show? Friends for the laughs, Breaking Bad for more serious content. How much do you weigh? I haven’t checked but I’m consistently in the 90-99 lbs range. Have you ever consumed alcohol? Do you still/are you going to? I mean yeah. My first sip was almost four years ago. I definitely still am drinking to this day lol. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. Do you have full or thinner lips? They’re a bit full when closed but when I smile, my upper lip thins up. Which of the Pirates of the Carribean's was your favorite? I was never into the series. Is Johnny Depp really the hottest man alive? No. Do you have Windows 7? No I don’t. Brownies or cake? Right now I could go for brownies. My mom looooooooves cakes so we always have a box in the fridge, so I’m a little tired of them by now. What did you get for your last birthday? My mom treated me to lunch at a Japanese place and in the evening Angela took me out for Yabu and a date in Timezone. Where's your significant other? She’s at home reading, but she’s also on the line with me right now. Do you press the delete key or the backspace key to get rid of a mistake? Well the backspace key is called delete in Mac keyboards so I dunno how to answer this. How much blankets do you sleep under? Just one. You don’t need more than that in this weather.