#why am i liveblogging this lmao

[ragnarssons]

nori and the stranger are so cute, i'm like idc about canon, give me gandalf, let the stranger be gandalf, i'll accept it eyes closed (sorry jrr) because it's just too adorable, the idea of the hobbits being the first people gandalf ever met, likeeeeeeeeeeeee. they're so adowableee 😭💅

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s4 episode 13 thoughts

before we begin: i’m gonna be upfront with you. this is another episode i did not like. this was scully’s 3, if you catch my meaning.

but i made a post announcing that i did not like this episode after a mere 10 minutes of viewing, and received some comments saying that others were big fans. as always, this is a place where i welcome discussion! PLEASE tell me what you think. you can try to talk me into liking it! tell me how you see it, and how it makes sense to you, and why you enjoyed it; maybe you’ll sway me. maybe not. maybe i’m cool and different for not liking things other people like, or maybe i’m basic because other people don’t like it as well. i have no frame of reference, which makes this blog so fun!

frankly, there are some things that i as a viewer just don’t want to see. i am not a fan of misogyny or watching THE hetbait of all time kiss other people.

here we are! so, i have been informed that in the timeline of canon, this episode i’m about to watch actually takes place BEFORE the last one. which i have noted. although it will be hard to distract myself from knowing what i do know now, i’ll do my best. 

(author's note: yeah i see why that clarification is important)

okay, the episode description. mulder? vacationing? i don’t believe it for a second. 

oh god, i don’t wanna see scully pine for some random guy. maybe there will just be an intellectual attraction here. i just don’t want to see it. i’m not sorry!!!!

okay. let’s go. still not believing in vacation mulder, but i’ll give it my best. 

some guy named jerse is getting divorced. wait. wait no. i recognize that name from a fanfic i read. NO.

i couldn’t remember what the hell this dude’s name was (jerve? juss?) because he only popped up BRIEFLY in a fanfic i read that had no seasoning relevant warnings. but because of this, i know what he is here to do. DAMN IT. let this be a lesson: read fic that is marked by the season!!!!

jerse is getting divorced. he is kinda handsome, i won’t lie. but he looks like a sick freak and he’s being weird to this bartender 

oh god, he has kids. scully STAY AWAY FROM THIS MAN- I’M NOT GONNA ASK AGAIN. pulling out a photo of him and the kids at the bar. a pathetic individual.

he burned himself out of the picture with a cigarette?? this is clearly well-adjusted behavior 

now he’s drunk outside a tattoo shop. in the rain. looking at a tattoo of a cartoon woman. and now he’s home? he has a tattoo he doesn’t seem to remember. ah. the cartoon woman. drink can do this to a man.

now he’s crawling on all fours? what do you want me to do about that. 

gooood, i know what’s coming because of that fanfic that accidentally spoiled me, and i’m gonna be so pissed. has my hater energy been distracting you lately? is this blog still enjoyable? be honest. but not too honest. i will cry.

mulder and scully are talking to someone about a UFO sighting, someone who is talking about explosions but no sound. she’s busy looking at the vietnam war memorial. NO there’s a little car that someone left for their dead brother :( she picks up a leaf and takes it with her…. i bet she is thinking about her own brothers and the sister she lost

back to jerse. he’s on the phone trying to sell stocks to a random woman who is fighting with her kids. 

oh. a disembodied voice calls him a loser. well, do it again for me. so he’s hearing things, including laughter.

OH no….. he’s blaming some random woman in the office for calling him a loser and confronting her. she was LITERALLY BUSY! leave her alone. he’s throwing stuff around. very professional (heavy on the /s). and he gets sent home which is good because i was scared, they were scared, we were all scared. 

scully is in mulder’s office, holding his name tag. awwww.

oh, my suspicions about mulder were correct- he did not want to go on vacation, but he was forced to! he is taking piles of x files with him. and he’s suspicious that they’re trying to get rid of him.

“gotta pay the rent” <- your dad had like 3 fucking houses i do not believe that for a SECOND you need this job to put food on the table mulder

“why don’t i have a desk?” she asks <- LMAOOO... i miss you s1 scully desk we saw that singular time that i always assumed still existed but i guess no longer does

(this seemed like a funny throwaway line to me at first, hence my lmao, but i later understood that this line was said with a Seriousness. however, i like to leave things as they were so you can really get a feel for my mind, all the wrong conclusions included)

AWWW he says we can get a desk and they can be really close and we can play battleship... LMAOOO i think….? i can’t tell if he’s being genuine and wants to help, or catty because he’s pissed he has to take a vacation 

OH! he’s pissed. what does he want her to keep an eye on? “that contact that we met last night at the wall, who had the distinction of being present for a first- that being you abandoning me during questioning” OHHHH he went there!!! damn! slim to no empathy when he is in alien mode.

“in the future, i’ll make sure that all those people being interviewed provide you with a multimedia laser show to keep your interest maintained” <- WHAT THE FUCK MULDER? DO I LAUGH OR WANT TO SLAP YOU? she looks so gagged. clearly something is on her MIND, you insensitive dolt.

so this guy they were talking to is named pudovkin, he’s from russia, and he has a doctorate in astronautical engineering, which is a term i have never heard before.

scully still seems distracted… but she asks if pudovkin’s reports on UFO crashes are for sale. which mulder confirms, but they are at a high price.

mulder tries to give her the assignment, and he made all these arrangements, but she says NO!!! LMAO (?) she says that russian guy they spoke with was recounting the plot of a cartoon. okay, queen is well-versed in her cartoons! i see you

oh my god, what is the tone of this episode…?

“so you’re refusing an assignment based on the adventures of moose and squirrel” “refusing an assignment? that makes it sound like you’re my superior”

oh, that pissed him off… “do what you want, don’t go to philadelphia, but let me remind you that i worked my ass off to get these files reopened. you were just assigned. this work is my life” <- HEY BUCKO. let us take a deep and calming breath. let us choose our words with kindness when talking to our friends.

“and it’s become mine” <- oh my GOD... that motif.... her getting pulled further and further into this...

so i can tell you right now, with confidence: i do not like this episode. why is he being mean? she is clearly thinking about something. i thought he was teasing at first, but clearly now he isn’t. if i were him i would say “hey, you seem distracted. is everything alright?” IS THAT HARD? IS THAT SO FUCKING HARD TO DO?

and it would still make for compelling TV!!! hey listen, i hear you saying "if they didn't have problems, there would be no plot" to which i say: there has been plenty of plot in the past when they have treated each other with kindness, no?

she says she is losing sense of her life- “this isn’t about you, mulder, or maybe it is in an indirect way”- and he says “maybe it’s good that we get away from each other for a while” <- WHAT IS GOING ON???

he seems so shocked to hear that the x files aren’t her whole life……… baby boy, let’s use context clues... yes, he is in ahab mode....

he says he’s going on a spiritual journey to discover something about himself…. and she sets the leaf she found from before on his desk. hmm. hmmmm.

back to jerse. he’s on the phone again. begging for his job back. doesn’t seem to be going well. oh my gosh, he just beat the phone. smashed it over and over again. i am frightened.

the evil tattoo is taunting him. so he is crawling on all fours to see if it’s coming from the floor below, which simply has a lady and some birds! those poor birds! 

(is this tattoo supposed to be a representation of mental illness? if so, which one? is it supposed to be insecurity? placed upon him by society? toxic masculinity?)

he’s talking to some missionaries who are trying to tell him that his downstairs neighbor is not involved in a plot to drive him insane…..

oh my god he broke into the bird lady’s apartment. OH MY GOD???????????

soundtrack this episode is killer though, i’ll give it that. put more music in my monster of the week content.

oh my god he’s like. dragging something. hard to tell because the screen is almost ENTIRELY BLACK. yes. he is putting a box in an incinerator. that presumably contains bird lady. real charming fellow, this jerse. 

(this is kinda like if little shop of horrors involved a tattoo instead of a plant. the tattoo says no one will hurt him again. sure, man. i’ve seen how that musical ends)

mulder is wet. on the road, outside his car. very wet. calling to see how scully is doing. he wants to know where she is!!!! but there is no answer.

scully is in philly, looking at the files about the russian space guy, watching him. she’s tailing him now into some convenience store. he is fighting loudly in russian and exchanging money……. hmm. that’s not promising. 

is he going into the tattoo shop? so goes the scully, in that case.

oh no. jerse is in there. he’s asking a separate russian guy who is the tattoo artist to cover up the cartoon tattoo…. 

oh god, he gets scully involved. “you like this, on his arm?” and now it’s winking. it has changed its design.

she says the coloring is nice (very thoughtful response to being sucked into a strange situation), and the russian tattoo guy is talking about how he learned how to tattoo in prison, while the creepy voice in jerse’s head is commenting on his new undying love for scully. but the actual russian space guy is in the back!!!

god, i don’t want to watch thiiiiiiis. but i must. i am a journalist, after all. she lies and says she’s visiting her aunt. and that she wishes she was impulsive sometimes. 

she says she’s leaving- but he gives her his number. god, is this gonna be a multi-episode thing???

OH MY GOD, MULDER IS CALLING FROM GRACELAND “i’m at that special place and i wanted to share it with you…. did you know elvis bought all of his furniture in just thirty minutes?”

wait. hold on. that’s cute. he wanted to share it with her. but also how DID he know where she was? it’s their usual spot… “i knew you wouldn’t abandon me” <- AWWW why were you mean earlier!!!!! you are being sweet now :(

(again, i ask: what IS the tone of this episode?)

she says there’s no case, no x file, the russian guy is involved in gangs and fraud and whatnot. she's handing it over to the philly bureau and that is that.

she is very pissed that he is ordering her around as always (well, i support that!) and he pulls his “what, do you have a date or something?” card. and then CONSPICUOUS SILENCE.

oh my god he’s STUTTERING “you’re-you’re kidding” (he sadly returns to graceland and makes some elvis moves) (we can hear the sound of his heart breaking)

jerse’s tattoo is still talking to him while scully looks at his business card. she says her flight is cancelled and that she can pick him up!!! oh my god. oh my gooood.

jerse is huffing his cigarette and also trying to burn out the tattoo with it. more concerning behavior. it's like when seymour throws the rat poison in audrey ii.

the jehovah’s witnesses are strategically knocking on the door of the now dead bird lady. and scully is here with jerse. she’s entering his apartment. 

you know what? this motherfucker looks like jeremy jordan. just an observation. sing, newsie boy.

she’s saying she doesn’t go out much…. but she noticed he’s bleeding. and also she says she’s a doctor. feels like that is relevant information to reveal before a date. don’t you want to know what a potential date does before you go out with them? well, i guess that is highlighting her desire to be impulsive.

oh god, she also finds the photo of him and the kids…. while he’s in the bathroom bandaging his wounds. 

she wants to go to the crummy bar??? okay. get out your inner rebellion i guess.

he says that this is a good place to go when you’re down, because everyone here looks like they have worse problems than him. fair enough. except for also NOT fair enough... because he killed a woman!

scully says she goes around in a circle when an authority figure comes into her life, and part of her wants it, needs the approval, but then… 

(it seems she is making a pointed reference to mulder here...? is that what he is to her? an authority figure?)

now she’s talking about her dad….  she would sneak out of the house and smoke the cigarettes. yes, i remember this from beyond the sea!!!! she did this because she knew that if he found out he would kill her.

he says the tattoo marked him never going back. SHE TRIES TO SEE IT AND HE GRABS HER???????

what the fuck what the FUCK. are we going to witness violence.

SO NOW SHE’S GONNA GET ONE TOO?? on her back???? the ouroboros she was looking at before! yes, the never ending cycle.

what the hell… i am deeply uncomfy. he’s watching her get a tattoo and it’s like erotic or something??? to him. and she’s breathing all weird. and then. there is a tattoo.

(this scene only reinforced my previous conclusions from earlier today looking up "am i asexual" quizzes)

god, is she gonna stay here with him? he says the weather is bad and he wants her to be safe and that he’ll sleep on the couch.

she says she feels different now after the tattoo. and he’s taking off the bandage. says it looks alright. but he’s bleeding again. and she’s taking off his shirt…..

the tattoo starts TALKING??? “you kiss her, and she’s dead” HEY WHAT

oh god……………………. the door shuts

pause. y’all. i don’t think i’m cut out for this.

okay, back to the FBI. mulder is here. trying to find scully. and he cannot reach her!!!

he sees the leaf she left on his desk…. and these two are waking up the next morning. his tattoo is still bleeding. dude, you should probably make some sort of appointment about that. 

scully’s in his giant shirt as she shows the detectives at the door (!!!) her badge. they want to talk about the disappearance of the bird lady. they are not taking her seriously, because she is in some random guy’s shirt in some random guy’s house. but she’s jotting some stuff down. 

things are clicking in her mind, about the disappearance. oh my god dial up noises! wow, that’s loud and annoying. shoutout to people who had to deal with that in the 90's.

she seems to be realizing that she has made a grave mistake. 

THE STUFF THE RUSSIAN GUY MADE THE TATTOO INK OUT OF WAS IN THE KILLER’S BLOOD????!!!

she grabs her tattoo because like. now it’s in HER blood too. oh my god the tattoo ink had DRUGS in it????

scully is trying to call mulder…. who runs to his phone. but she hangs up on him!!!! now why would you do all that? oh, because jerse approaches.

she tells him to sit down. very seriously. and she straight up says she thinks the blood the detectives found was his. well i guess honesty is sometimes a good policy.

so they might hallucinate stuff now from the ergot. and they might be dangerous. they need to get to the hospital now. 

he confesses to hearing things now…. “she talks to me. she hates women. my wife, my boss, you” ohhhh my god. i wonder how she is feeling....

she says they need to go to the hospital now. together. 

the tattoo's voice is talking to him about who she called…. and he presses the redial button…. and….

HOLY FUCK, HE’S ATTACKING HER. i mean, i knew it was going to happen eventually, but like. doesn't make it any more enjoyable to watch.

oh man, they are really going at it…. he knocks her out….. and he wraps her up to take her to the incinerator……………. ???????

but she stabs him with the scissors… and she’s trying to tell him to take control. so he BURNS HIS ARM OFF???!? to get the tattoo to shut up. 

BUT NOW THE MUSIC FLOURISHES OVER HER TATTOO???

girl if she has a demon in her now............. i need a cigarette

she’s coming back to the office with bruises on her face. “congratulations for making a personal appearance in the x files for a second time” says mulder. well, that’s gotta be a record. and that is exactly what he brings up next!

he’s trying to make a joke, but she’s grabbing the leaf on his desk………

he thinks this is his fault…… “not everything is about you, mulder. this is my life” “yes, but it….” (sighs)

end episode.

okay. so. what am i thinking. 

well. i am thinking many things. first of all- what is that tattoo supposed to represent? was it supposed to represent how misogyny poisons men’s minds? and turns them into people they aren’t deep down? is it about male insecurity, and how it turns into violence? and if we are taking that interpretation- doesn't that kinda just blame women for the scourge that is misogyny? like "look how you divorced that guy, guess you can't blame men for hating half of the population" because if that was what they were going for. i find issues with that.

second. i’m glad scully had her growth moment. if i were her, i would have told off mulder a long time ago for being too domineering. i don't think he intends to do it- i think he gets too caught up in his own quest for answers- but intention does not make his actions any less hurtful. and she clearly needed to have that rebellion moment. i’m glad she had it, even if it went terribly, at least she survived.

but the agents' dynamic felt… mean-spirited. i couldn’t tell what was joking and what was below the belt, and i’m not sure i’m supposed to be able to. he does take advantage of her, and i certainly don't oppose her pointing that out. i oppose him being mean to her- or at least, i find it hard to watch. i understand that the whole project does mean the world to him because maybe, just maybe, it will bring his sister back- but still. it is an infuriating characteristic of his, how little attention he pays to others.

and i don't necessarily think that aspect of him is written consistently, either. what about that time they were so incredibly close to answers and he let them go because he wanted scully to be able to see her sister again? what about every single time he's risked his neck for her?

i guess what i'm saying is, his fury at the start of the episode felt like it came out of nowhere, and was directed at her questioning his authority- and was over nothing beyond her tuning out one time. i find that idea of mulder as this authority figure that scully is chasing approval from in a manner akin to her own father (!!!) hard to reconcile with the mulder who held her in irresistible, who pummeled the doctor who maybe possibly might have hurt her in one breath, who runs every theory by her, and so on. you see what i'm saying? it felt as if this episode cast the whole series in the retrospective light of him only wanting her around so he can have a loyal henchman, and not that he valued her as an actual person- which we know he does. she zones out one day and he snaps on her? she goes on a rant about how she is always chasing authority's approval shortly after? i'm just not buying it. it felt like the rift era again. you could argue that it is scully's grief that is distorting her view of him, but even entertaining that possibility from a narrative perspective made me feel like i needed a bath. so... sleazy.

bullying aside- for an episode about breaking free from mulder’s influence, he seemed to really care for her and try and reach her, if we ignore the terrible things he said and just focus on his actions. on vacation and at work, he wanted to make sure she was okay. and it was sweet, but when cast in the light i mentioned earlier- in comparison to her father- it felt, like, paternalistic, which made my skin crawl. which is an understatement.

she needed to have that important character development, don’t get me wrong. it seems she’s worked so hard her whole life and has never made time to break some rules, except for when she was a kid. she needs to rebel at some point- but it was the framing of their dynamic that icked me out. and maybe i'm interpreting something in a different way than everyone else does. honestly, i hope i'm misunderstanding something. please feel free to correct me.

there was clearly something on her mind that distracted her from one interview, and the episode is trying to show us that her life isn’t just the x files like mulder's is. they’re different. maybe they spend too much time together. maybe they needed time apart, and maybe she needed to do the things she never let herself in the past. but… you can tell from reading this post that while i agree with some of the character choices- scully confronting him for being too controlling, letting herself let loose for once- i think they made sense in theory but less so in this particular execution. 

and yeah, there’s me the viewer who doesn’t want to see that shit happen, be it scully being attacked or sex outside the slowburn that gave us the term "ship". you can’t blame me there. i am a mere mortal. but also…… damn. something about the way jerse said he hated women and grabbed scully made me feel sick. 

i think that scully has a lot of grief and anger, and i think she reached a boiling point in this episode. and i think she won’t do the things she did ever again. but it still felt so out of character to see her do those things. and was she implying, with her whole speech about her father, that she seems mulder as this controlling force in her life? that their dynamic has been entirely unequal from the beginning? that he acts like a boss to her, and whatever the fuck it is they have going on (because it can’t be described in words, we both know that) has been an imbalance of power this whole time? that makes things feel…….. less warm and fuzzy, in retrospect, don’t you think? the idea that mulder only keeps her around as a foot soldier and doesn't really give a damn about her?

(again. it could be her grief talking. grief is not rational. but i had never seen it like that before, and it casts everything in a different light)

i think this episode had clear commentary on misogyny. the way that jerse’s thoughts were poisoned to hate women, how we explore mulder inadvertently taking the upper hand throughout their relationship, the way the detectives wouldn’t believe scully at her word when questioning her about the blood. i think it explored scully's frustration in being in a male-dominated field, and feeling like she always has to be perfect. but other than that, i'm not sure what i'm supposed to take away from the whole thing, unless i am to think that whatever relationship it is they do have is nothing more than one of uneven control. because that's the vibe i was getting from this one.

it felt out of character, and not just in the purposeful subversion of how we normally see scully- their whole fight felt off. and the tone was all over the place. first we're joking, then we're arguing nasty style, then we're joking, then sexy, then fight time violence against women, then joke? unresolved ending feeling i cannot explain? what do i make of this?!

idk. i don't feel like i'm wording my points well, but i'm not sure i want to really keep trying either. and i feel that if i did my usual thing, which is watch an episode, take notes, think it over for a day, and THEN edit the notes, i might be able to have a more coherent thought process- but given potential controversy, i want to get this out tonight.

i want to really hear your thoughts- if you ride or die for this episode, walk me through it! did you also not like it? is it mid to you? i'm listening. i want to know. i have no ill-intent, and i feel bad that i've been a bit harsh lately. let us discuss. it is all peace and love over here.

[dropoutposts]

“Normally I can't handle spice at all”

Lily... You host a talk show about spicy secrets 😳

[silverraes]

very funny to me how everyone's unhinged theories are turning out to be correct

[pseudophan]

i had 2 entire toenails removed at the end of september last year, do we think that’s what brought dapg back. they still haven’t regrown btw

yes we do think that. also yeah get used to it they regrow so damn slowly, it's been eight years since the last time i had half of one removed and it's still not fully grown out

[kushanna]

except that, realistically speaking, that's bizarre lol. what do you with "beatrice" going from one person to another? what do you mean the culprit changes halfway through? lmao what. are you even talking about

[codecicle]

Ash how is the fated watching going rn?? You’re braver than most

godd wampus im fucking THRIVING right now. this campaign sucks so bad it's genuinely unwatchable at times and I think that's the appeal to me <3 they spent like 10 minutes just describing and figuring out how the money system works and literally none of them sound like they've ever played dnd before and i don't think it will ever pass the bechdel test once the entire campaign even with velrissa trying her hardest but it goes crazy anyway

br'aad is my favorite character by a lot right now,, he's my FREAKK i love him and his idiot swagger so much. he's supposed to be charismatic but he sucks so bad at it everyone hates him but sticks around with him anyway. he's a warlock and his patron stops time and gives him insight on things/danger to come and kicked off the main plot in the sickest sequence I've ever seen. also his gayboy ass really did walk so every other gayboy slimecicle character could run !! they were so right !! and the party spent the first and second session hating everything he said and did . Took them sooooo long to be normal about him but they got it eventually when mountain (MY MAANNNNNN) defended him. Also he says everything with ^_^ . Just outloud you can hear it in his voice

for the rest I think the only other character that's talking enough to form an opinion on is taxi. and that opinion is STRONGLY a good one o(-( ! his banter with br'aad is so fun they're the only characters that feel Real and In The World so far and I love it so much. the names bit where br'aad kept getting his name wrong and calling him "saxi" and whenever he corrected him br'aad would just go "I know saxi. Nice to meet you im br'aad!" actually had me in tears at a certain point they're the only ones that have gotten me to laugh fr fr so far

sadly velrissa mountain and sylnan just Don't Fucking Talk so i don't have any real concrete opinions on them yet other than "hmm. Interesting ^_^" velrissa and her necromancy stuff is so neat so far I hope we get to see it in action soon instead of just small mentions here and there. same with the dynamic between sylnan and br'aad I NEEED to see more snockers scenes like their sibling scamming bullshit seems so cool I can't wait for them to emotionally rip my heart out through my throat. I can feel it coming

honestly the main appeal of it all is the characters and the characters alone. them slowly becoming friends and trusting each other will fuck with my brain permanently. I already cheered out loud when they so much as INSINUATED that they could stand br'aad and his charisma and they don't actually hate being around each other like that made me so happy. their meeting makes no sense but that's okay the Shenanigans with the solid snake box and br'aad trying and failing to stealth was so fun and "nice forearms, and a nicer staff!" and the little weirdo gremlin goblin following them around they're all very scared of and creeped out by (except for br'aad. he is strongly sexually attracted to goblins. this is canon and brought up over and over again) all make up for it. the story really doesn't matter to me here at all ^_^ all i care about are the characters being happy and traveling together and that's what makes the campaign enjoyable for me

[thychesters]

i'm excited for the one piece live action, and i think a big part of it, to me, at least, is because there's such a sense of community with it. you're not watching it alone! maybe not everyone is into it, but those who are are excited and we're excited together! i'm excited to watch it with people and experience it with people, and be a part of it with others. i hope it's silly, i hope it's goofy, i hope the cast and crew had a blast with their heart and soul. i hope arlong park and the duel with mihawk pull at my heartstrings. i hope seeing sanji, luffy, and usopp's backstories make me hold my face in my hands. it's been a few months now, almost a year, but i still feel so new to one piece in the grand scheme of things, but i'm having so much fun. i'm not kidding when i say i'm having a blast, because the people i've met so far have been so cool and so welcoming, and i don't regret a minute. i'm so excited.

[betweenheroesandvillains]

i mean. what level of irony is "having a panic attack on the way to the GP that you made an appointment with to get your mental health officially assessed bc it's been sucking ass".

[pochapal]

feeling feverishly sick again. lmao.

[queenerdloser]

i uh. scratched my car pretty bad lol

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 3 thoughts

it’s been a bit since i last watched an episode (count: 5 whole days!) and i need my hit of scully and mulder time. so imagine my surprise when i went to watch today’s episode, and saw it is not about scully and mulder, but the lone gunmen? 

hmm. hmm hmm. well, how do i feel about this?

let’s just say that when i was doing my preliminary research to see if i wanted to watch this show, i came across a plot point that is going to be addressed in a few episodes, and i want to reach them NOW to see how they play out. and that is all i will say on the matter. 

even if i really really really REALLY want to say more. i will not. 

(author's note: imagine me sadly pressing my palm against a rainy window... no scully and mulder time today 😔)

okay. so lone gunmen origin story… let’s see where this brings us!!

it’s 1989 (the intro riff to style begins playing from an unknown source)

the swat people are here in maryland because there are a lot of gunshots. so they’re going into this mysterious building, rifles drawn, and everything is very very dark. 

there’s blood on the floor but nobody around!!! and then they hear a guy groaning under a cardboard box???

whoever it is keeps moaning “they’re here, they’re here” <- WHO IS HERE?

woahhhh another guy finds the lone gunmen!!! they say they didn’t do it!!

while they’re being arrested, the guy under the box keeps yelling that they’re here. which does not clear up anything. 

was that naked box man mulder…? no, it can’t be….

the intro was shorter again this time. i WILL make note of it no matter how many times it happens.

sad byers is in a jail cell with the homies :( the girls are fighting!!!! it seems they did NOT get along at first

IT WAS MULDER IN THAT CARDBOARD BOX?????? “he’s currently being held in five point restraints”, says the cop talking to byers <- what does THAT MEAN (types furiously into a search engine) ohhh okay. okay. got it now.

byers wants to know where a lady is, and he says that she IS real, because mulder saw her, but…. this answers none of my, nor the cop's, questions

“so what i’m looking at here is a warehouse break-in with nothing stolen, a shootout but no guns, lots of blood but no bodies, and an FBI agent who likes to take off all his clothes and talk about space aliens” <- yeah, that sounds about right 

BYERS WAS BORN THE DAY KENNEDY DIED???? okay that is crazy for reincarnation theorists 🔥 

LMAO is that why his name is “john fitzgerald” … my brain put together the date quicker than the name itself 

yes, he confirms this immediately after i type it up. fun byers trivia for ya, i guess.

so he works for the federal communications commission, for now at least. he was at a computer con booth giving out buttons when all of this began!! aww, he looks so happy to be gathering your information

NO some random people were mean to him and he looks so sad now :( (him being referred to as narc is a repeated occurrence throughout the episode)

he sees a mysterious woman at the booth?? who starts to say something, but then leaves. and he follows her while his coworker is going to town on some computer games. aww man, i wanna show this guy tears of the kingdom. he’d be so happy.

mysterious woman runs into frohike, who is giving her a speech on a machine he made that gives you 33 channels of premium TV??

(i was going to say "i do not think that sounds legal" but i didn't want to sound like a Youngling. but yeah. not legal)

and langly is in the booth next door to him heckling him 💀

they’re fighting over who sells better bootleg cable LMAOOOOO!! who will win?!

this spat allows mystery woman to escape, but byers runs into her!!! she drops a photo of a child and he says “she’s very cute” as he hands it back to her. byers, why are you kind of a puppy dog here? look at him. aww.

he is stuttering and says she looks like she could use some help, but not in a way that sounds condescending at all; he seems like he genuinely means it, even if he doesn’t know wtf is going on.

oh my god, well looks like he is good at sniffing out the truth. he sits down with mysterious lady, who begins to tell him about how her child, who just turned three, was kidnapped by her boyfriend recently. the ex boyfriend is very dark and mysterious but dipped when there was a kid involved… but then came back and took her??! who is this man????

and the investigators are not finding anything!!! EXCEPT that the guy is in baltimore somewhere. but now the guy knows she’s looking for him!!!!!

she hands byers a card that says "arpanet/whtcorps" which he knows the meaning of; apparently it’s a special government project, and you can access it through the internet. glad it means something to him because it sure doesn't to me.

ohhhh, byers says he’ll try and go online and figure it out… i feel like he’s being drawn into some sort of trap, but he just wants to do the right thing….

they finally introduce each other, and now we know that mystery woman is named holly. good to know. he points out that there is a pack of sugar right in front of them that says holly?? ohhhh is she lying and that was the first name she came up with…….?

so byers comes back and kicks his coworker ken off of the computer. ken has been EVICTED!!!

the code brought them to the defense data network!!! and she wants him to hack into it??? that feels like a huge ask….

he betrays his FCC code of ethics and tries to get in there… and it takes him literally 3 seconds. damn. he could have been doing that all along. it was simply his moral code holding him back.

they find an encoded file allegedly for her daughter susanne modeski, but i don’t buy it….

but as they’re printing out the papers with the code on them, she says she sees the crazy ex boyfriend!!! they hide… why am i scared it’ll be mulder lmaooo 

AND IT IS????????

what the fuck. 

so, obviously she’s lying on a bunch of different levels. i'm trying to imagine mulder kidnapping a child. it’s laughable. 

he runs into frohike and says “no thanks, handsome” to his offer of bootleg cable and frohike responds with “ah, a man of distinction” <- LMAO so they've just been flirting with each other from the very start?? good to know

mulder’s hair is fluffy to try and make him look younger, and it’s kinda funny and kinda adorable, but mostly funny 

byers and holly go to frohike for help, because he is a very good hacker!!! he says, why are we trying to crack this code if we can just beat the shit out of your ex boyfriend and find your daughter??? it’s a very good point. holly says it’s too dangerous. 

“lady, I’M dangerous” <- LMAOOOO frohike is a king of knowing his value

frohike says i’ll just go find him!! he could have the girl here for all we know!! that's direct action baby!!

holly’s trying to get them to stop following mulder, the "mysterious ex", while byers and frohike watch him…… mulder grabs some alien detection machine and it goes off (lmao) but then he darts into a back corridor. 

and he finds them first!!! OHHHH he busts out the picture of holly and says they’re looking for her at the FBI ohhh nooooo

NOOOO... holly’s gone and ken is being taken away because they think he did the hacking… but all he did was play dig dug 😭😭 poor ken

byers starts to say it was him that did it, when frohike says you cannot turn yourself in as a hacker!!! aww byers :( he doesn't want any trouble... how far he has progressed in the episodes during which we come to know him since these initial moments of guilt and doubt

frohike says they need to hack into the FBI so they can figure out what is up with this woman. byers is gagged at such a request, but then frohike reminds him he’s literally already hacked into the government today, so get used to it.

meanwhile, langly is gambling??? wait. they’re playing D&D. how do you gamble while playing D&D??? no time to answer that. byers and frohike interrupt to request his assistance!

before he can agree to anything, langly makes frohike confess that HIS is the best kung fu 💀💀💀😭😭

byers is having a crisis as he realizes he will probably go to jail… meanwhile, langly hacked right into the FBI!!!! with great efficiency!!

omg wait!!! we have mulder’s info here…. he was born 10/31/61 and his eyes are green??? i guess i don’t spend a lot of time admiring his eyes. and he has a telephone number that i’m sure people still call and whoever it belongs to gets (rightfully) pissed tf off. 

WAIT, IT LISTS HIS CAREER HISTORY….

"1983-1986: oxford university 

1986: quantico academy 

1988: currently assigned to the violent crimes unit"

this answers almost none of my questions, and if i think about it for longer than 3 seconds, i will end up doing a whole post trying to figure out HIS timeline in addition to scully’s. so now i have to struggle with THAT. we’ll circle back to it.

(i'm going to assume those 3 years at oxford would be for a grad degree? unless he went off and traveled the world before attending undergrad? because he would be 26 when went to quantico and then 23 when he started oxford, which gives him enough time to have done an undergrad degree somewhere else?? yeah. let's go with that for now)

they realize there is nothing in his profile about being psychotic or having a daughter, so that’s a point against holly. look at the man! looks totally sane.

OH tea…. HOLLY *is* susanne modeski, wanted for MURDER, SABOTAGE, and other crimes such as TERRORISM!!!! she blew up a lab!!!! this is... not good.

poor byers is realizing what he has done while someone enters the room!!! it’s HER!!!!!!

now what is going on here!!!!! she denies the blowing up of the lab and the killing of people, saying instead she tried to quit her job, which is not a job where you can just quit. and there is no daughter. byers looks so hurt. aww :(

she says that the coded file he found earlier contains everything she needs to expose the government’s plot against its own people… and she had unwittingly moved it forward by developing “ergotamine-histamine gas” <- well. that doesn’t sound good.

it causes anxiety and paranoia on its subjects!! is that what was released in mulder’s apartment at the end of s2??

(sometimes i miss big pieces because i'm so tuned into the little details. like finding out birthdays and the character's wall decorations. ergot i remember from never again, though)

susanne slash holly says the government is going to release this chemical onto the public in baltimore!!

she says the government is behind what happened to JFK and also placing bibles in hotel rooms. you see, i do not think these are quite on the same level of crime. oh, she says it’s for surveillance. well. okay. i guess. 

they don’t seem to believe her, but she has a gun so they move forward with cracking the code as she requests. the message talks of an “E.B.O.”, an engineered biological operation, using toxins on humans. 

ohhhhh there’s an address for where the toxins are located!!!! and she is being watched at all times, ordered by dr. kilbourne, who she says is her dentist??????

now what does her dentist have to do with this? OH, a mouth implant!!! i realize this mere milliseconds before she takes some pliers and leaves the room. you can imagine what will happen next.

she goes to the bathroom to pull out a tooth and it has a…. thingy in it????? what it actually does is incredibly unclear, and tbh i'm cool with that. i don't need to know everything

they flushed the tooth for the fear of giving away the location. which does make sense, but part of me thought they would study it. then they go to the warehouse and find the chemicals in the boxes as described. they are keeping the chemicals in asthma inhalers!!! that's just diabolical.

NOOOO, mulder is here!!!! and he is placing them all under arrest!!!

but then two other people come to grab her??? and mulder is like who tf are you????? they start shooting!!!! and the gas is spilling all over him!!!!!! which is why he’s ripping off his clothes!!!

the two mystery men go to shoot him, but susanne shoots them first!!!!

he’s writhing about….. and she runs away…. when a team arrives wearing gas masks???

AND THEY HAVE X WITH THEM?? who walks up to the lone gunmen, past them, and over to mulder????

X tells them to “sanitize it” while the lone gunmen are watching…… it is giving that scene in monsters inc

mulder is seeing aliens due to the drugs!!!! and that’s why he’s saying “they’re here” ohhh okay that makes sense

they take the guys susanne shot, and they throw 'em in body bags. then seal all of the other boxes of the gas, as well as the opened packaging on the floor that came from the boxes being shot a billion times.

byers asks X what authority he has to do this, which leads him to being told to stfu by frohike…. but he’s not letting it go!!!! ohhhh now they’re being sat down execution style…. X has the gun, and it is behind the head of byers...

the gun is empty, though!!!! so he tells them to "behave yourselves" and leaves. THAT'S ALL HE'S GOING TO DO?? he's going to let them simply walk away???

“it’s all true what susanne said about you people, isn’t it?", asks byers, as X leaves; "about john f kennedy, dallas?”

“i heard it was a lone gunman” <- OHHHH NAME ORIGIN REVEAL 🔥🔥🔥

(i’ve missed X rolling up, saying the coldest lines, and disappearing into the night air... rest in peace king)

someone comes to pick him up, and he leaves. just an average day on the job for a guy like him.

back to byers being questioned, where we began all of this. and the cop does not believe him at all, lmao. would you??

frohike and langly are groaning about women because “your molar pulling girlfriend roped us in and left us swinging in the breeze” (crazy sentence btw) (let's not get misogynistic about it)

oh byers is PISSED at this “i’m here because i wanted to learn the truth” <- YEAH, YOU TELL EM!!

he says she doesn’t owe him anything!!! she opened his eyes to the truth!!! i love a sad looking man with a moral compass!!

and mulder verified their story so they can leave now!!!

mulder’s car was stolen, so they think that susanne took it and went to the newspaper... and sure enough, we see her leaving the building.

they run to find her, knocking down some random guy in the process (LMAOOO) she says the reporters didn’t believe her story, and no one would, but she appreciates their help

oh, and now she’s kissing byers. you see, i didn’t want it to go in that direction. but here we are.

the pay phone right next to them starts ringing,,, and she says “no matter how paranoid you are, you’re not paranoid enough” and that they need to tell as many people as they can the truth; that is their weapon!!! so that must be why they started their organization? to spread the truth?

she is then shoved in a dark car with X in the backseat????

the three or them are then at the convention center while things are getting cleaned up. and mulder is here!!! he says he has weird ideas. susanne is no longer wanted by the FBI… he needs to know wtf happened last night!!

(zoom out as they begin explaining that the government wishes to control and surveil our lives)

mulder does a shocked “whaaa?” at this news and it was so funny lmao

yeah yeah yeah the government is always watching us. we all know that.

so! an interesting episode to see the origins of the nerds, but i’m not sure exactly what it’s leading to? why did we get an origin story for them now? are they going to be playing a bigger role in the rest of the season? or did they just think this was a nice time for a lore reveal?

hmm. hmm. 

well, you may recall that earlier i specially was craving scully and mulder time. and i got NONE OF THAT HERE. so frankly, yes, i am annoyed. i’m not even saying it was a bad episode!! it just didn’t have scully in it, which makes it far less enjoyable than it could be.

i did enjoy seeing more into each of their individual personalities, though, so that is good? and i love how byers wants to be a good guy. aww. he's adorable.

i guess this was a fine episode, but it wasn't what i was looking forward to when i sat down and began watching, which was agents on the case time, so i may have no choice but to watch another episode tonight in an attempt to scratch that itch.

[mothusband]

maybe i am stupid

[voldiebuns]

JOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

being soooooo normal about Aziraphale listening to classical music btw

[slewtysiren]

I’m thinking about everything and nothing all at once *pushes random button* take me back there

Yes indeed what a mf time 🤯🤯