#why am i always worried that the things i write are terrible

[mad-hunts]

as far as jack could tell, jervis was really out of it; and it made him wonder it was due to something that had happened while he was out with his father, or when they'd gotten here. perhaps both. jack gnawed on his bottom lip, his eyes darting to jervis's hands, which were flexing like he was struggling with something. an eyebrow rose as jack contemplated asking whether he needed some pain medication.

since he didn't receive an answer to his question yet, jack figured he might as well introduce himself. ❝ uhh, well, you don't have to talk to me if you aren't feeling up to it. my sister told me that you fainted in front of her out there — so, i understand if you're still feeling sick. my name is jack, ❞ he scratched at the back of his neck as he continued to observe jervis. whenever the man tried to get up, jack approached him and was about to caution jervis that maybe he shouldn't by lightly touching his shoulder.

but he remembered matilda telling him something about the other really not liking to be touched, so he merely was going to verbally tell him. up until jervis laid back down himself, anyhow. jack couldn't hold himself back from frowning at his poor present state before venturing out of the room with a 'i'll be right back.' and indeed he had been, with two different vials, alongside a few syringes to inject into that IV bag: should jervis want to be medicated. jack figured it'd be easier to just do that rather than forcing him to swallow anything.

he placed those also on the table before tilting his head at the quote jervis had said until it clicked a few seconds later, ❝ that's a quote from through the looking glass, isn't it? and one that the red queen said in the story if i remember correctly. she was basically teaching alice that staying in the same place is falling behind, right? ❞ jack squinted his eyes at that before a thought came to mind. a soft snort left him, but one that was done of an innocent sort of amusement rather than malice. ❝ that is a kind of roundabout way of talking about survival of the fittest. but hey, lewis carroll was all about the whimsy of things, i guess. and its no big deal. ❞

jack pretended not to see the tears that the other shed for jervis's own sake. the blood on his lips was something he couldn't ignore, no matter how hard he tried, though. jack grabbed a washcloth from his pack and held it out towards's jervis's hand. once it was out of his hand was when jack set down that teacup, the slightly too long stripped pants he wore swaying across the ground. ❝ mm, you and dad were both asleep for nearly four hours. sure — i don't think that's silly at all. i keep something on me all the time from when my brother, julien, was still around. ❞ the bracelet he showed the other on his right wrist then seemed to be made up entirely of tiny conch shells.

julien was a big fan of the sea, which jack thought made his death all the more crushing. after seeing the state that the stuffed animal was in, he figured that that bunny must've been really loved; though it didn't really matter by whom it was. the end result was the same, as love changes you. jack knew this well as he'd never wanted anything more than to be embraced by the warmth of it.

he quickly shook that thought off, only to grab the two vials he got from the fridge once more. ❝ eh... the four hours actually went by rather fast. ❞ jack cleared his throat then, ❝ you know, i couldn't help but notice that you aren't looking so hot still, and so i grabbed some meds for you. but i won't force you to take them. i have a pain reliever as well as something that relieves vertigo. are either, or both of these, something you want? ❞

Eigengrau.

A faint hum buzzed in his ears; his mouth was so dry it felt like he’d swallowed a wad of wool.

The thin sheet beneath him brushed his fingertips as Jervis flexed his hands, cracking his eyes open a sliver. The room tilted, everything blurring at the edges. Ah… so he had fainted. Just as he’d suspected. No glasses, then.

"Hey. Ahh, you're awake… That's awesome. How are you feeling?"

The new voice was barely a whisper, young and uncertain—belonging to a boy, maybe sixteen or eighteen by the timber. Was this another of Barton's assistants, a friend of Matilda’s, or perhaps her brother? Jervis couldn’t quite remember; hadn't Barton mentioned something about having more than one child?

He winced, his body feeling heavy, leaden; aching everywhere. Slowly, he exhaled and tried to push himself upright—tried being the keyword. The effort brought only a wave of vertigo, dizzying and blue-hot, making his vision swim.

… ohh, god…

He swallowed thickly, curling into himself. Something wasn’t right. His glasses and gloves weren’t the only thing missing. He was in his socks, jeans, and a now damp charcoal t-shirt, his body slick with cold sweat. His graying auburn curls clung to his neck in tangled ropes. His boots were beside the cot, his messenger bag on a desk across the room. His overcoat and maroon button-down were draped over a chair.

A flicker of discomfort in his right arm. Burning. Tugging.

Jervis glanced down at the source: a plastic tube. A peripheral IV catheter.

"Ah, you know... 'It takes all the running you can do, to stay in the same place,'" he muttered, his voice clipped and hollow; Bermudian accent casual, almost detached. He turned his eyes to the boy; offered him a faint, strained smile. "Keeps things interesting, I suppose... but I appreciate your concern, lad."

He lifted his fingers to his cheek, feeling the moisture trickle down—salt on his lips. Tears, sharp and stinging. Jervis flinched and quickly scrubbed them away with the heels of his hands.

Cold metal pressed into his spine, tight around his neck—the chain with his and Sylvie’s wedding rings twisted against his skin. He must’ve been thrashing in his sleep. There was blood on his lips.

"Forgive me…" His vision swam as he watched the boy set a teacup on the small table beside the cot, just within view. "But I'm afraid I've rather lost my sense of time. How long has it been since I…?" He paused, his voice barely steady. "... if... if you don’t mind, could you please reach into my coat pocket? You'll find a small cuddly toy. A rabbit..." He rubbed his mouth, lowered his eyes. "It sounds foolish, I know... but it... it was my daughter's, you see..."

The boy nodded, moving quickly to retrieve the toy from Jervis’ coat pocket, and placed it on the table beside the teacup. The bunny was missing one of its button eyes, its white fur faded and matted. A pink satin ribbon around its neck was frayed and tattered.

“Thank you,” Jervis said hoarsely. “I must have been out of it for quite a while.”

[slutofpsh]

f1 racer | psh

part two

pairings: park sunghoon

synopsis: f1 racer park sunghoon is the ace of their team until he got into a terrible accident causing of his sudden hiatus. the incident injured his shoulder and affected his mental health. you are hired by his mother to help him get through this tough times as you are one of the best psychiatrist in town. he hated the idea of being vulnerable so instinctively, he hates you. he hates how you try to get into his head for him to open up and he hates his parents for meddling with his life like he’s a kid. but he couldn’t deny that you are exceptionally beautiful and he can’t help his cock from twitching just by imagining pushing you down on your office table, fucking you deep and hard until you can’t think straight anymore.

wc: 15k

warnings: mdni. smut with slight plot, lots of dirty talking, degrading, corruption kink, p into v raw (please always use protection), dom sunghoon, slight rough sex, reader experiencing sexual harassment. IF YOU DON’T LIKE ANY OF THIS PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SCROLL AWAY.

note: i have no right and enough knowledge with medical terms so disregard my claims as it came from my imagination to fit my plot. i’m new with writing smuts so please don’t give rude comments. i am still learning. also please send me asks and reblog my work. it will help a lot. thank you so much!

slutofpsh 2024 © all rights reserved.

After how Sunghoon dismissed you, you didn’t expect him to reach out first. You can still remember the bitter feeling that poisoned your whole system while you’re taking a bath that day. The pain between your legs was incomparable from how your heart was aching that time.

His cold tone and how he asked you to leave right after kept flashing back to your mind. It was such an awful experience. A part of you gets pissed at him for acting like a jerk after taking your v card, but you also know that maybe you caught him off-guard as well. Besides, it was your decision to give yourself to him that day.

It’s honestly making you feel frustrated. Were you crossing the line when you suddenly asked that question? Now you are certain that his ex-girlfriend has something to do with it. Your chest tightens just by thinking about it. He’s still very affected by her. There’s a big possibility that he still have feelings for her.

You threw your head back and stared at your ceiling. This isn’t how it suppose to be. You should be focusing on your work and not worrying about an F1 racer who probably don’t give a care about you.

The wall clock caught your eye and suddenly realized that it will soon be his session for today. Since its wednesday, he will be the one coming at your office. It makes you hopeful and you’re already rehearsing what to tell him the moment he walks in.

You wanted to apologize for suddenly dropping that question out of nowhere without even considering if he’s mentally prepared for it.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your phone chimed.

Sunghoon: I won’t be coming today.

Oh.

Your mind went blank right after receiving that message. All the words you tried to compose and prepare the moment you come face to face with him became useless. You can’t help but to feel a little disappointed and upset about it. He’s obviously trying to avoid you and it hurts just by thinking about it.

The amount of efforts and time you exerted just to be close with him seems to be put into waste when he’s pushing you away like this.

Was it really about the professional reason why you’re hurting? Or was it your heart cracking because of him? Eitherway, you don’t like the feeling of it.

Since Sunghoon is the last patient scheduled for today, you informed your secretary that he’s not coming. Although a little confused, she asked if you need something else or if there’s any patients left that you’re expecting to arrive.

You told her that she can wrap up and go home early today as that’s what you’re about to do. This thing going on between you and the f1 racer sure is draining all of you. You just want to be inside a bathtub, soaked in hot water and having a bottle of wine.

Yeah, that’s right. That could totally help with your mood.

A knock from your office door snapped you back to reality. It slowly opened revealing Hana whose now flashing you a small smile. It didn’t slipped from your friend how you’ve been gloomy these days. She took notice how you’re not mentioning the famous f1 racer as well, assuming that he has something to do with your foul mood.

“Hi,” she greets and you tried so hard to flash her a smile.

“Hello. I thought your sessions are done already? What are you doing here?”

She pursed her lips and walked inside. “I was thinking if you’d want to spend time with me? Your secretary said you’re out early today.”

Your eyes almost watered because of what she said. Hana completely understands you despite your resistance of oversharing informations regarding Park Sunghoon. She understands how you're always been a little private with your personal life.

As a friend, all she can do for you is accompany you whenever you need someone to be there by your side.

The two of you planned to stay in her expensive crib that she’s very proud of. Actually, you really like her apartment since its very pretty and cozy. There’s some vibes in it that you cannot explain.

After stopping to get some snacks, you head over her place. She was continuously talking about this one hot client of her. Obviously, she likes him but gets defensive that she just really finds him hot.

“So...” your head snaps at her direction when she suddenly halt her words like as if she’s waiting for you to look.

You got lost in time and have no idea for how long have you two been sitting outside her balcony talking about random things.

“Hmm?” you hummed, asking her what she wants to say.

She bit her lower lip, contemplating whether to go for it or stop being nosy. After ending the debate with her inner self, she sighs heavily and sets down her glass of wine to fully focus on you.

“What’s up with the F1 racer? He skipped today. That’s new.” she finally dropped the bomb.

You were kind of expecting it, but to actually be asked about it still caught you dumbfounded. You don’t know the exact words to use in order to explain what happened on your last session.

Surely you cannot mention what the director did to you and you’re too embarrassed to tell her he just pop your cherry.

“Maybe he just don’t feel like seeing me today.” the pain in your eyes didn’t slip from her. Hana may not always hear you rant things towards her, but she knew whenever you’re not okay.

She pursed her lips and reaches for your free hand to hold it. “When did he ever feel that way? As far as I remember, Park Sunghoon is totally so into you.” and even winked at you to make you feel better or at least laugh.

“I think I made him mad.” tears fills your eyes to the brim that made her go slightly alarmed.

“Why? What happened?” she gently grabs the glass of wine from you to avoid spilling any of its content.

“I asked him about his ex and after that he started acting cold. Maybe...” your words halt and emotions oozes from your eyes. Hana can see how worried and scared you are by your own thoughts. She felt so bad.

“...maybe he still loves her? What about me, then? What am I to him, Hana?” and tears started to flow out from your eyes, your cries filled his balcony as she tugs you closer to her.

Hana never saw you like this. Crying over something. You always have a strong impression towards her. The type of person who handle things like a boss. Very workaholic and once you set your focus onto something, you will, in no doubt, get it.

And so to see you like this caught her off-guard. She doesn’t know what to do or how to properly comfort you, but of course she tried. She caress your arms as she embraces you, calming you down. She lets you have your moment to let it all out as she assumed you’ve been keeping it in.

“I t-think I fell in love with him, Hana. And I’m so scared because I’ve never felt this way and to think he still loves...” you couldn’t finish your own words as you started crying hard. Hana shakes her head side by side in disapproval, eyes starting to water as well.

“I’m sure he doesn’t love her anymore, y/n. Don’t think it that way, okay?” she cupped your face to make you look at her eyes.

“Just give him time to process his own emotions. He went over through hard times that makes it a little harder for him to decide about things, yeah? Maybe you just caught him off-guard as well.”

Your lips pursed into a pout and realized she had a point. Sunghoon’s going through something. Your priority should be to make him feel better and not confront him about his feelings for you.

You nodded your head and slowly rest your head at her shoulder, cuddling closer. She wraps her arms around your shoulder to pull you closer to her body. She sighs and you felt so much better letting your worries out. Like a big chunk of emotions been lifted off from your chest that made your breathing more stable, your way of thinking became much better as well.

Like what Hana said, you gave him time to settle his own thoughts. Thursday came and you didn’t bothered sending a text message for him as well. You tried hard to divert your attention towards some other things. Thankfully, you’ve managed to do that.

Friday came and you’re very much nervous to go on your day. It was suppose to be your day off from the hospital and Sunghoon’s the only client you have for the day but Hana called you early in the morning.

“Can you please take over my session this morning? It will be just quick I promise! It slipped off from my mind that I have that scheduled today and I already booked my flight to Hawaii.”

Your brows furrowed as you put your coffee to the machine, one hand resting at your hip.

“Hawaii? Suddenly? Why haven’t I heard about this plan?”

Of course you can fill her spot for today. You’ve done it for other people before, there’s no reason for you to decline her offer as well.

She giggles, “I didn’t invite you because I know you won’t come anyway since you’re saving up! This is so sudden too! My mom asked me to tag along their trip and since the director will be out of the country for almost two months, I figured I should go to a vacation as much as I can!”

This time you’re even more intrigued of what you heard. You leaned over the kitchen counter and lift your hand to nibble on your nails.

“T-The director will be gone for almost two months?” you asked, baffled.

“Yes! Haven’t you heard about it? Anyway, you should get more rest now that he’s not around! I know how much you want to earn more, but please have some fun as well. We’ll plan a trip for the two of us once I’m back!” she kept going on that slowly became muffled by your own thoughts.

The amount of relief that dawned you after hearing the news of the director being not around was being overwhelming for you. To think that you don’t have to feel anxious of bumping over that monster relieved you.

“I will buy you something from her as a thank you gift of taking over this client for me!” Hana snapped you back to reality.

You giggled and glanced over the machine when it made a sound, indicating that your coffee is now ready.

“Okay, have fun with your mom.” and then the two of you decided to end the call.

After you get ready for your day, you drove straight to the hospital and met with Hana’s client. Like she said it was just a short consultation and nothing heavy. An hour and a half passes by so fast. Your secretary ringed your intercom to let you know its over.

You guided the client out to the door and tell her she did well for today. She seemed very satisfied with your session and thanked you. A smile is what you responded her before bidding goodbyes with her.

Now, you started preparing yourself to leave and go straight to Sunghoon’s place. Your heart started thumping just by the thought of that man. He didn’t send any messages yet that tells you not to come so you’re somehow hoping he’s expecting to meet you today. I mean, he cannot avoid you forever right?

Eitherway, you already set your mind to go and check him yourself. You wanted to convince yourself that you just want to do your job properly, but you know that you’re doing that fot personal reasons. That you want to come and see him because you missed him so bad.

You heard your office door opens that slightly made you jolt. Thinking it was your secretary, you didn’t bother to look over and check. You just continued fixing your things so you can leave.

“You can leave after I finish here, (name). That’s the only client I’ll be meeting here on the office for today since I will go to the Parks to meet with Mr. Park Sunghoon.” you tried to inform her.

You heard the door closed so you assumed she’s inside. Finding it odd not receiving any responses from her, you decided to turn around to look and you almost drop your car keys at the sight of Park Sunghoon by the door.

He looked so good as usual. His slightly long hair brushed perfectly as he rocks his semi formal attire, one hand inside his pocket. He stares right at your eyes that made your knees instantly weak.

“M-Mr. Park.” you stutter.

He pursed his lips and sighs heavily. He may seem like he’s calm, but Sunghoon’s very nervous right now. He took all of his courage to come here and see you. He knew what he did last time was wrong and he can’t find the will to meet you. Not after treating you that bad. He figured you may hate him now. But damn, he misses you so much. He missed you so bad that he might go crazy if he didn’t come and see you.

He didn’t say anything and started walked towards your direction. You held on your table for support as you can feel your knees getting even weaker as he approach closer. Seeing him again after days of being away from each other just made it even more emotional.

“W-What are you doing here? I was just about to go and meet you—” your words cut as he clash his lips on your shaking lips. He placed his hands on your hips, making sure you won’t fell.

You moaned, eyes getting teary of being overwhelmed. You felt his kisses, his touch and his warmth.

After the heated kiss and when he realized you two needed air, he pulls away. He kept his eyes straight at yours, letting your foreheads touch each other.

“I’m sorry for how I acted the last time. It was such a jerk move.” he whispered sincerely that tugs your heart.

You pout and raised your arms to wrap it over his neck.

“It’s fine. I understand that maybe I went overboard. I shouldn’t have let my personal emotions take over me.”

He licked his lips, taking a short glance at your slightly swollen lips. He was tempted once again after having a taste of something he’s been craving for a while. He sighs, calming himself down. This isn’t about him.

“Let me make it up to you.” and he leans even closer, tugging your body closer to his. His lips dangerously inches away from yours.

A small smile spreads across your face.

“You don’t have to, Hoon.”

He leans and placed a peck on your lips. “I want to. Will you let me take you out on a date tonight?”

Your mouth gapped in surprise. “A date?” you repeat his words, bewildered.

He nods his head, trapping his lower lip over his teeth. Sunghoon pressed his body towards you that made you giggle.

“But we already skipped two of our sessions.” you reminded him. As expected, he seemed totally unbothered.

“Then this will be the third time.” he smirks and arched his brow. “Please?”

You stared straight to his eyes and eventually surrenders.

“Okay.” you agreed that made him smile wider.

“Thank you.” he says and leans for another kiss. You giggled returning his affection and letting yourself be drowned by his kisses. His hand playfully roams around your whole body like claiming his territory.

“I have something for you.” he mumbles after leaning away. You can see how his eyes are starting to be clouded by lust and longing.

It stirs excitement inside you. Just having him this close again and staring at you this way makes your core hot and wet. The way he affects you is crazy. Its even crazier because you know he’s the only one that can make you feel this way.

“What is it?”

A mischievous grin spread across his handsome face before he lets one of his hand go from your hips to slid inside his pocket. Your eyes looked curiously to what he’s trying to get.

He fished out something and you can see its color pink. Your brows furrowed in confusion as to what is that thing. It seems soft and like a toy. Your hand unclasped from him to try and hold the thing he was holding.

“What’s that?” you asked too innocently that made Sunghoon almost go feral. Just the genuine look of innocence in your eyes were enough to make him lose his mind. He thought that during the times he was with you and with all the things you two had done together, he might have corrupted you enough.

But it seems like he was wrong. He hasn’t corrupted you enough for you to know that what he’s holding right now is a small vibrator.

He gulped, trying to calm himself and his dick.

“A vibrator.” he announced that made you instantly blush.

“W-What...” you are unable to ask further question as he moved quickly to carry you and make you sit at your office table.

“Hoon, wait what are you gonna do?”

He smiles, “We’re going to have some fun, baby.” and he placed a kiss at your cheeks.

His hand reaches for your thighs and he spread it enough. You’re about to protest and ask more, but he quickly kisses you to distract you from what he’s about to do. His hand made its way inside your skirt and searches for your underwear.

You moaned and tried to pull away, but his lips just chases yours. He eventually managed to take off your underwear, his bare fingers touching your wet core.

“Ugh,” you moaned sensually.

“Already so wet for me?” he smirks so proudly that made you feel so flushed.

He raised his other hand that was holding the vibrator and placed it near your mouth.

“Coat it with your saliva, baby. So it will go in smoothly.” he instructed, eyes flickering with so much excitement.

You obliges and opens your mouth. Sunghoon stares as he dips the vibrator inside your mouth, your tongue twirling around to make sure every part is fully coated of your sweet saliva.

“Fuck, you look so hot.” he mumbles and pressed his lips at your cheeks before gently pulling it out from your lips, making an unintentional ‘plop’ sound.

Your heads stared down while he placed it at your entrance. It was wet and full of your juice already so it slid easier. You kind of felt the stretch but it was a good one. The kind you’ve missed for a while.

“How does that feel?” he asks carefully as he lifts his gaze to look at your half-lidded eyes.

You gulped, salivating a bit due to pleasure of having something inside you.

“G-Good.”

He nods and grabs this one small device. Your mind is pretty clouded and occupied by that small toy inside of you that you didn’t realized that in order for it to be called vibrator, it needs to vibrate. And that will only happen using that controller Sunghoon’s holding at the moment.

“Okay, let’s start it with the mildest intensity.” he says softly near your ears and pressed something.

You jolt at the sensation it was giving you, a hand grabbing him by his arm. “Oh my gosh,” you mumbled surprised.

He chuckles, “How does that feel, pretty? Much better?”

He leans his forehead to yours as you nod your head slowly. It was a foreign feeling, but it was good. Really really good.

“I think we can put it higher.” he didn’t even wait for what you’re opinion about it and raises the intensity making you open your mouth. Your eyes shut abruptly and the grip over his arms tightened.

“W-Wait, this is too much...” you mumbles feeling everything in you just vibrates and shaking along with this small device.

Your mind are slowly becoming blank and filled with nothing but lust. The vibration is so perfect and the way Sunghoon showers you with kisses makes it even better. He kisses, sucks your skin and sometimes bite you using his canine teeth, making sure he mark you pretty well.

“I’m c-coming,” your words snapped Sunghoon out from his trance as he pulls away and manipulated the controller to make it feel better for you.

As you came, your body loses it strength but thankfully Sunghoon was there to support you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He placed a kiss on your shoulder then at your temple, whispering praises.

“You did so well for me, baby.” he kisses you again at your lips then flashes you a sweet smile.

You smiled and leaned to give him a kiss too. You’re still high from your orgasm that you couldn’t say anything to him. After he pulls away, your eyes watch how he slid your underwear inside his pocket. His eyes are darted at yours when you lift your gaze up to look at him.

He smirks shamelessly, unbothered that he was caught red handed of pocketing your underwear without consent.

“Hey, I can’t go eat dinner without it.” you pout.

He chuckles, “Oh, you can do it. Besides you have that inside you to keep your cum inside.” he smirks that made your eyes grow big.

“What do you mean?”

He fixes your hair, “Am I going to have this inside me while we eat outside?”

He smirks, already giving you the answer.

“Yes. We’re going to have so much fun tonight.” and with that you are left with no choice but to go out on a date with a freaking vibrator inside of you.

You don’t know how exactly you look, but you bet it was awkward. The way you kept moving around, squirming out of discomfort is quite noticeable. You’re inside the elevator and thankfully it was just the two of you heading down at the underground parking lot of the hospital.

Sunghoon chuckles and held your hips tighter, holding your position.

“Stop moving around.”

You grunted, “It feels uncomfy. I feel like my cum will drip out from it.”

He leaned down, lips touching your ears as he whispers, “I bet not. Your pussy is so tight it left no gap for the vibrator.” his raspy voice rings through your ears that made you shiver.

When you arrived at the parking lot, Sunghoon guided you somewhere. It was a black rang rover and a man went out from it then wait patiently until you two came near the vehicle.

You gave him an awkward smile as you still feel bothered by that thing you’ve been keeping between your legs. He bows slightly.

“Let’s go to the restaurant.” Sunghoon says firmly and opened the door for you.

So this is his driver. You’ve been informed by his parents that ever since the incident, he refused to drive. Whenever he have to go see you at your office during wednesdays, he have his own driver to accompany him.

Sunghoon sat beside you and tugs you closer to him while his driver started driving. You felt conscious now that you have another person around you, but it doesn’t seem like the same way for him. Since his touches became more bold.

You gave him a warning look and held his wrist tightly to prevent his hand from entering your skirt completely. His hand was just chilling at your thigh a while ago, and now its slowly moving upwards.

“I just want to check if its still there.” he reasoned out with a grin on his face.

You rolled your eyes at him, “Like it can get out by itself, huh? Of course its still there.” you tried hard to whisper so his driver won’t hear any of this wild things you two had been doing.

He pouts mockingly, “I want to check it myself.” and tugs his arm away to unclasp your hold before he dips his hand further inside your skirt.

You pressed your lips together to prevent any moans from coming out and just lets him do what he wants. This is why you think its dangerous for you to hang around Park Sunghoon often. Because you are too weak for him and you always ends up letting him have his way.

When his fingers touch your core, he graze it gently on your slit and smirk grew wider at the feeling of your cunt being filled. He pulls right after plopping his slightly wet digits inside his mouth to lick it clean. He does all of that while staring shamelessly to your eyes.

The drive towards the restaurant was surprisingly short or he just really kept you occupied the whole ride. It was a fine dinning and thankfully, you dressed pretty appropriately for its aura.

The two of you entered while holding each others hands. Just by the entrance, you can see heads whips towards your direction probably intrigued to see the famous F1 racer out in the open once again. Not to mention that he’s being accompanied by someone unfamiliar to the public.

It made you conscious and a little bit anxious. The feeling of the vibrator inside you isn’t helping as well. Sunghoon did turn it off as you begged him to as you get off from the vehicle. He said that he will allow it only because you behaved and asked nicely.

“Reservation under my name.” Sunghoon tugs you closer to him, hand resting over your waist.

Sunghoon hates the attention he’s having the moment he step foot inside this place, but he thinks he hates the attention that you are gathering even more. More than once he caught a male looking at you like a hungry animal. He fucking hates it. How dare them look at you for more than five seconds? You are his to look at, to admire, to kiss, to claim and to fuck.

“This way, Sir.” the waiter smiles and guidee you inside.

The whole ambiance of the place was romantic and classy. The type of restaurants you see in movies where the people dressed extra nicely to fit the vibe of the place. It was just perfect, if only that thing was not making you feel uncomfy.

Sunghoon beats the waiter to pull a chair for you and you smiled at him. He kissed your hand before sitting at the chair across. He smirks while watching you trying to get comfortable on your seat.

“You good, baby?” he asks meaningfully as the waiter comes back for the menu, handing one each to the two of you.

“Y-Yeah,” and glared at him slightly before trying to look over the food they’re serving.

You’re just in the middle of trying to find something you like to eat when you jolt in surprise. Your eyes instantly darted at Sunghoon, glaring at him. He’s eyes are fixed on the menu while a big evil grin occupies his sexy lips.

He just turned the vibrator on, catching you off-guard and jolt on your seat. The waiter took notice of your sudden discomfort.

“Are you okay, Ma’am?” he asked, very worried.

You flash him a quick smile and pursed your lips tightly right after as the intensity gets higher.

“I’m fine— Ugh,” you groaned and lowered your head in embarrassment. You pressed your legs together, but it just became more intense that way.

“Are you sure? We can—”

“She said she’s fine.” Sunghoon’s strict tone interrups the waiter’s concerned remarks. You glanced at him and you can see him shooting glares at him.

You bit your lower lip and tried hard to control your body from shaking obviously. Its making your head fuzzy and the pleasure clouding your mind. Sunghoon clicks his tongue and proceeds on saying his order.

As he pressed the controlled on its max intensity, the satisfied grin spreads across his face seeing how you reacts. Just seeing how hard you try to control your expression and actions to not fully give into pleasure makes him slightly proud. He kind of wants you to make a mess tho, he’s not going to lie.

“I will order for her too. Is that all right, baby?” he even reaches for your hand that was resting by the table.

You nod your head eagerly, trying to focus on reaching yet another delicious orgasm. Right at this moment, you don’t care if the waiter notices how your legs are shaking or your face too flush from pleasure. All you can think of is to cum hard right there and then.

After the waiter gets your order, he excuses himself and informed you that your order will be ready after ten minutes. The moment he turns around to leave, your legs shakes reaching your climax.

Sunghoon smirks as he watch you slowly going back to your right mind space. With glares shooting straight at him you grit your teeth.

“Why w-would you do that?!”

He smirks, totally not regretful.

“I hate it when men flocks to impress you.”

You furrowed your brows hardly, still high from the orgasm you just had.

“He was just doing his job.”

He tilts his head, unimpressed. “Well I am just doing mine too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Marking what’s mine.” he said that seriously that it made you blush so hard.

Your heart thumped faster and harder that you almost got scared that it will come out from your ribcage. These are his actions that made you confuse if he have feelings for you or not. He’s not saying anything.

He asked something else afterwards to maybe ease the atmosphere. He’s still the Sunghoon who loves to tease you which somehow comforts you. Last time you’ve seen him, you asked him something personal and you got scared it made him cave in his shell once again.

Like what the waiter said, the food will be available after ten minutes. They served it and you two continued eating and talking. It was fun and you cannot believe you are having a date with Park Sunghoon.

You’re just worrying and overthinking about him last Wednesday night. You sure cannot predict what’s about to happen.

After your perfect meal, you’re trying to enjoy the dessert that he ordered for you when naughty Sunghoon once again tries to attack. Your head shakes side by side to stop him, but he was already grinning at you.

He pressed the controller making you jolt.

“H-Hoon,” you moaned.

“Yes, baby?” concern and teasing plays through his tone.

You pursed your lips. “Enough p-please.”

He pout his pinkish lips, “How can I stop when you look so good like that? Such a slut for me.” he says licking his lips while grinning widely.

The sensual look on your face and the way you fight it just so nobody notices turns him on. You’ve always been innocent in Sunghoon’s eyes. An angel. He’s like a very bad wolf trying to prey on you. To corrupt and make you his slut.

Sunghoon palms his dick as it slowly grow harder inside his trousers. He just couldn’t get enough of you.

“N-No...” you whimpered and lowered your head when he pressed it again to rise the intensity.

The pleasure is making you lose your mind. Sunghoon’s already lost his moments ago as he continue palming his erect friend down there.

“Just one more, baby. Cum for me one last time.” he says softly and you gulped.

The way he talks you through it is what’s dangerous. You can never say no to his sweet tone. It’s like it has its own way towards you that convinces and automatically hypnotize you to oblige to his words.

“B-But I c-can’t anymore.”

“Of course you can.” and he even reach for your hand to place a warm kiss on top of it.

He put it at max and you shut your eyes to prevent people from seeing how it rolled at the back of your head. Everything starts to be blurry and to spin.

“I-I’m close...” you mumbles, biting your lip hardly.

Sunghoon licks his lips, “That’s it...” he grabbed your hand and watch carefully while you surrendered yourself into pleasure.

“Hmph,” and another delicious orgasm unfolds.

“Let’s go,” Sunghoon stood up from his sit and approach you. He carefully helps you to stand up. Some customers looked at your direction, but you’re still too high from your previous climax to give care.

“Is she okay?” one waiter approaches after noticing that it seems like you are unwell.

“She’s fine. I just need to get her to the bathroom.” Sunghoon says and excused the both of you.

One waiter guides you two inside a bathroom. She asked if you needed anything more but Sunghoon dismissed her and told her that you just needed space to breath.

The moment she left, he went over the door and locked it. He pushed you over one of the counters, hold you by the hips and easily lifts you up. He made you sit down.

“W-What...” you licked your lips, unable to properly say anything.

He smirks, “You did so well for me, baby. So so good.” he mumbles and spreads your legs and placed a kiss at your forehead once.

His hand reaches for your core and carefully removes the vibrator inside.

“Ugh,” you moaned and groaned a bit at the feeling of that thing being removed from inside you.

Sunghoon take it to his lips and licked all of your juices out from it. It was so sweet, something he missed for days.

“Fuck, I need to have you. Right now.” he announced that made you flutter your eyes slightly open.

With the small gap, you saw him unzipping his pants that made your anticipation rise. Although totally worn out from the multiple orgasms he already gave you from that toy, the thought of having him for yourself excites you the most.

“P-Please.” you begged, gripping over his clothes.

“Please what, pretty?”

You lift your gaze and stared straight to his lustful eyes. It was dark and you can see how dangerous he is. The amount of lust he has for you was unmeasurable. Sunghoon never felt this way towards someone before.

“Please fuck me.”

Sunghoon’s eyes turned darker and dipped his head down to connect his hot lips on yours. He bit your lip to crack an entrance for his tongue to enter your delicious mouth. Your sweet taste overwhelms him and he started to get addicted.

He pressed his body towards you as he carefully pulls out his erect member. He strokes it a couple of times before placing it on your wet entrance. You whimper at the feeling of his hot dick grazing the line of your cunt.

It sent unexplainable pleasure that the two of you sure enjoys at the very moment. Something you two won’t get tired of.

“So fucking beautiful.” he mumbles on your lips and continues giving you messy kisses.

“So beautiful and only for me.” he growled as he slid his cock inside of you.

One hard thrust and he’s all in. Your eyes flutters open, mouth hanging open at the unexpected stretch. The vibrator and couple orgasms sure prepared you, but not enough to feel a slight sting. Sunghoon’s dick is so big for your small cunt.

“Fuck.” he cursed, feeling his dick suffocating inside of you.

“H-Hoon,” you whisper.

“I know baby. Hold on.” and he started to move, thrusting in and out of you. It was so good. The pleasure was too much.

He showed no mercy in using and abusing your pussy as he rutt his cock inside you so hard. He grunts and groaned at the pleasure of having your body this close. He glanced at your privates and just thought how they perfectly fit each other.

“You are mine. You hear me?” he grunts as he continued rocking harder. His thrusts became deeper and faster, fucking you into oblivion.

“Answer me!” he groaned and bit your shoulder when he received no response from you.

“Y-Yes.”

“Yes what?” he stared at you.

“Yes, I am yours.” you mumbled near his lips and he smiled widely before kissing you.

His hips started rutting even harder as both of your climax approaches. The two of you became a mess trying to catch that orgasm you’ve been yearning to have together. A couple of hard thrusts and dirty talking and you exploded first before him.

You throw your head back, eyes shut as you started to see stars fromtl too much pleasure. Sunghoon catches his breath and kissed your collarbones before slowly pulling out his member.

He watch how your mixed cum drips out from your hole. He smiles and use two of his fingers to push them back inside, making you jolt a little.

“Sorry, baby. I don’t want to waste it.”

The two of you tried to make yourself look much more presentable. You’ve been glaring at him through his reflection in the mirror in front of you and he’s been grinning all the time. He looked so hot and handsome, you hate it.

“You look so pretty.” he compliments.

Despite the blushing cheeks you rolled your eyes and twist to face him. You crossed your arms at him and stared. He smirks and put his hands inside his pockets.

“Don’t you think that was too much?” you fired him. He arched his brow, acting innocent about it.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

You clicked your tongue, “I bet they knew what was going on! Its so embarrassing.” you pout.

He chuckled and walks closer placing his large hands at your sides.

“I’m sure they don’t mind. Let’s go?”

“Where?” you looked at him with so much suspicion in your eyes.

“Why are you looking at me that way?”

“The last time you said that you led me here.”

He barked a laughter before kissing your cheeks once. He started guiding you out from that bathroom. Surprisingly, nobody took it as a big deal. Some of them looked genuinely worried of you, but once Sunghoon said that you’re just a little sick they let it go and wish you to feel well soon.

While he was paying for the your meals, you roamed your eyes around and by the entrance someone caught you attention. A familiar elegant girl walks inside with yet another familiar face.

They walked closer and when her eyes darted at your direction, it slightly grew.

“Sunghoon?” she calls softly.

Your head craned to look at Sunghoon and you saw how he stiffened. His hand halted from reaching over his black card he used to pay for their service.

He slowly turned to face the girl and the look on his face is not good. He jaw clenches as he looked at the two people standing a few feet away from you.

As you glance back at that girl, you realized she was the same girl you’ve seen at the elevator. The one who looked dreadful. The other one beside her is familiar as well. If you can remember it right, he’s one of Sunghoon’s team-mates.

“How have you been? I’ve been trying to call you, but they said you are refusing my calls.” she seemed agitated while Sunghoon remained his distant.

A little confused to what is happening, you took notice of his obvious discomfort by their presense. His body language is showing you that he doesn’t want to be here in front of them so you quickly stepped in.

“Hey, done paying?” you asked gently and grabbed his hand. It was cold, sweaty.

Their eyes then darted at your direction. The expression on that girl’s face drastically changed. Her eyes looked at you with so much judgement, raking it up and down.

Sunghoon finally took in a breath after feeling you beside him. He glances at you and seeing how you looked at him with so much care, calms him down. He nods and pursed his lips. You can still feel his hands shaking a little. He’s having a panic attack.

You faced them and smiled, “Hello, I’m y/n. I’m sorry, but Sunghoon and I have to go. I hope to see you guys around some other time.” and with that, you bowed politely before starting to guide him out.

Sunghoon manages to walk well, but you can still see that he’s in panic. When you arrived in front of his vehicle, his driver assisted you to get him inside. You asked him to give you two some space.

You cupped his face after giving him some water.

“Hey, calm down. Breath in,” you gently instructs and caress his arms. “breath out...”

He looked at your eyes and carefully follows them. He can feel his chest tightening for unknown reasons. His fist felt numb and her mind starts to lose focus. You, on the other hand understands that he’s having an anxiety. For what exact reason, you don’t know. But what you’re sure of is whoever those two are, they triggered something in him.

“Baby, I’m here. Just breath. I am here for you. Look at me.” you mumbles and held his hand to place it on your face.

He felt your warmth and his eyes slowly focused on you. He can now clearly see your beautiful face despite the slight darkness inside the vehicle. He felt his heart thumped faster, but this time in a different matter. You made him feel safe and calm.

“I’m s-sorry.” he whispers and your heart cracks at the sight of him.

It was almost like he’s not Sunghoon. He looked so fragile. A part of you felt relieved that he finally shown you this side of him, but your heart couldn’t take it.

You tugs him closer and he gave in. He wraps his arms around your waist and nuzzle closer, enjoying your warmth.

“She’s Natasha.” he mumbles.

Your brows furrowed and realized that he was probably referring to the girl from a while ago. You kept your mouth shut, doesn’t want to ask something that can ruin it again.

“My ex girlfriend.”

You guided Sunghoon inside his house once you two arrived. After he revealed that it was his ex-girlfriend from that restaurant, you don’t know what to feel. Just by thinking of how he reacted, it made you feel things. It made you overthink once again.

“Y/n...” you snapped back to reality when you heard him call you softly.

You craned your head and looked at him laying on his bed. He’s looking at you with slight worry and fear.

“Yes?”

“Please stay with me.”

He never, in the whole duration that you two had been in this set up, he had never asked you to stay. You felt your heart races, hope ignites inside your chest.

Slowly, you strut closer to his bed and he opens his blanket to then scooted away to give you enough space. When you lay down, he pulls you closer to cuddle you.

“Stay for tonight.” he begged.

You sighed and slid your arms over his waist after placing a kiss on his chest. “Okay.”

The two of you fell silent. You’re just caressing his back gently and you have no clue if he’s already asleep or what. All you can think of is how messed up it is to meet his ex girlfriend that way. You’re starting to overthink how he still feels for her or where you stand in his life at the moment.

“That night of the accident...” your hand halts from caressing his back and slowly you pulls away to look at him.

“You don’t have to if you aren’t ready yet.” you gave him an assuring smile.

He looked at you straight in your eyes and leans down to place a kiss on your forehead.

“I want to.” he says firmly.

You gave him a nod and rests your head on his chest once again. You gave him his time, doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfy and just take his precious time.

“On the night before I got into an accident, I planned to go to her place because I felt like I neglected her too much. I was having practice on consecutive days since the competition is near.” he says.

He took a long breath and tries to calm himself to go through the night he got into an accident once again.

“I went to her place and found her...” he gulps. You placed a kiss on his chest and caress his back gently. “I found her naked on top of my best friend.” he finally said it.

Your mouth gapped and slowly pulls away from hugging him. His breathing fasten and you raised your head to look at his eyes. It was brimming with tears and you felt like your heart teared off.

“I j-just can’t believe it. How can they do that to me? My girlfriend and my own best friend? That’s so fucked up.” a tear escapes his eyes as he clenched his jaw harder, trying to compose himself.

You cup his face and listened to him carefully.

“I stormed out from her apartment after cursing them out. I drove while still being so angry. The next thing I know, I was in the hospital.”

He pursed his lips together and stared at your eyes. Sunghoon didn’t hold back, he lets you see his vulnerability. He doesn’t know but if there’s someone he can show this side of him, he knew it was you.

“I refused to drive again because I feel like it was the start of how things got messy between all of us. She said I neglected her and all I can think of is that race. My best friend said I took away all the spotlight and left him out of it. He was pushed out of the picture and I am the only one people can see.” he stated, he looked so broken and betrayed.

You may not know a lot about these people, but what you heard from him was enough for you to feel a slight hatred towards them.

“Hey, listen to me.” you sniffed, tears pooling your eyes.

Your hands cupped his face and his hands slowly rested over your hips. His eyes stared at you, trying to listen like you said.

“The issue with your ex girlfriend, it was not right for her to make neglection as a reason to cheat on you. Yes, you might have your short comings as her boyfriend but I am pretty sure you two can solve that problem together by talking.” you carefully make him understand. He stays silent, hand slowly caressing your waist up and down.

“Your best friend,” you started and the picture of the two of them you saw from the internet months ago flashes back to your mind. They look so happy in that photo and yet who knew this could happen?

“You can never cure insecurity, baby. Even if you try to give him the time to shine, you can never fix his own issues for him. If he cannot be supportive of you, then he doesn’t deserve you.” you rest your forehead over his.

“Don’t blame yourself for something you don’t have control of. Even if you don’t neglect her, what assurance do you have that she will not do that to you? If its meant to happen, it will happen. Just like racing.” you smile gently at him, tears streaming down your pretty face.

Sunghoon raises one of his hand to wipe off those tears and kiss you once on the cheek.

“Racing and you are meant to be together. You shine differently behind those wheels and you love racing. Don’t let these people take away your dream.” and you sincerely told him.

Something tugs inside Sunghoon’s heart as he leans in to give you a slow heated kiss on the lips. That night, he couldn’t be more thankful that he have you beside him. You spent the whole time cuddling and enjoying each other’s warmth.

The next day, you left after giving him smooches. He refused on letting you go, but you told him you have an importang meeting for that day. He was a little sulky so you had to give him a head to boost his mood a little.

He walked you out and waves cutely, the firm disapproval of you leaving flashes across his handsome face. His bed hair and slightly crinkled white shirt just gave more vibe to you, making your stomach churns and wetting you down there.

Sunday came as well, Hana went back and you decided to spend it with her. Sunghoon kept on texting you. Thankfully he wasn’t that sulky about it.

“Doctor, that was your last patient.” your secretary announced after she knocks and opens the door to your office.

You smiled and told her she did well today. It’s monday already and you’re off to go see Sunghoon at his place for his session.

Speaking of which, your smile grew after seeing his caller i.d flashing through your phone.

“Yeah?”

“You’re at your office?” he asks.

“Uh-huh. Why? I’ll just fix my things and I’ll go straight to your place.” you informed him.

You can hear some muffled background sounds from the other line, like he’s walking or something.

“Nah, stay there. I’m almost at your floor.”

“Huh? What are you doing here?” you asked, confused.

“Picking you up. See you in a bit, baby.” and he ended the call.

You couldn’t help but to smile widely just by thinking he came here to fetch you. Not long after, a knock can be heard from your office door. With excited hops you went to open it for him. A big grin is what greets you.

“Baby!” you greeted cheerfully and threw yourself at him. It made Sunghoon giggle and press kisses on your lips right away.

One of his hand rests over your waist, the other one holding something. After being satisfied of the affections you shared with each other, you pulled away and stared at him.

“You didn’t have to come and pick me up, you know?” but the smile on your lips almost rips face.

“We’ll go out on dinner.” he says that made your brows arched. You’re about to say something when he beats you into talking.

“With my parents.” he added that made your face turn pale instantly.

You’ve seen Mrs. Park a couple of times throughout the process of your sessions with Sunghoon. She is nice, except that you still find her a little intimidating. His father tho, despite showing his trust on you that day they seek for your professional help, he intimidates everything in you.

“You okay, baby?” and he pulls you closer to him.

“I’m nervous. Why are we suddenly having dinner with them?” you asked a little warry.

He smiles and kissed your cheeks, finding you adorable like this. He placed the paperbag he’s been holding ever since he arrived. Your eyes darted at it with slight curiosity.

“You can wear this dress for tonight.”

While staring at his expressive eyes, you realized you’ve got no choice but to go with him. Thankfully, he did gave you enough time to get ready and make yourself look more presentable. You have no idea what’s the dinner for since Sunghoon didn’t quite made it clear.

After an hour or two, he guided you towards the elevator. His coat rests on your shoulder to keep you warm while you go down to where he parked.

“Where is your driver?” you asks, roaming your eyes around to search for his familiar range rover.

Instead, he guides you over into a red sports car. With hopeful eyes, you glanced silently at him. He smirks and opened the passenger seat to the two-seater vehicle.

“I’ll be driving us tonight, pretty.” he finally confirms and you couldn’t explain how happy you are at that moment.

He leans and kissed your shoulder before helping you to get inside. You took the time admiring the inside of his car. It was very beautiful. The kind of car you think that fits Sunghoon, the famous F1 racer. His range rover is not bad, but this one fits him even more.

“What?” he scoffed while starting the engine when he noticed how your stares lingers.

“Have I told you how sexy you are?”

He chuckled and smirked widely.

“Well, this sexy man will eat you later tonight.”

You blushed and quickly swat his arm quickly. “You always find a way to ruin the moment with your horniness.”

He laughed and leans to kiss you on your cheeks swiftly, “What can I say? I just couldn’t get enough of you.”

The ride was short and you can feel your whole system panicking the moment he handed his keys to the vallet. He offered his hand and you accepted it as he guided you inside. Just days ago, you were inside a fine diningr restaurant and now you are here once again. What’s even more thrilling is that his parents will join you.

The waiters greets you with full enthusiasm and helped you find your table. They informed the two of you that his parents were already there.

“Doctor (Surname).” his Mom flashes you a big smile the moment she sets eyes on you.

Compared to the last time you met them, their aura seems to be lighter. His Dad looked a little more friendlier. A small smile plays through his lips as he silently watch you two approach the table.

You bowed politely and accepted the sudden hug from his mother. She’s always nice, but never to this extent. It caught you off-guard.

Sunghoon pulls the chair for you and waits for you to have a seat before taking his.

“We already ordered our food! I hope you don’t mind, Doctor (surname).” she says with so much elegance.

You smiled, “Not at all. Apologies for being a little late.”

“Oh, no need! I mean we did arranged this dinner so suddenly.” she giggles.

You have no idea what she thinks about you and where you stand in her son’s life so you feel a little awkward. Despite the large leap between your relationship with Sunghoon, he didn’t confirmed anything yet.

You felt his arm resting at the rest of your chair. It caught his father’s eyes so you felt conscious and made sure not to lean back. His Mother was the one who carries the whole conversation. She seems excited and so you make sure you respond well to her.

“So Doctor (Surname)—”

“Y/n, Mom. Call her by her first name. You’re too formal.” Sunghoon interrupts her while the waiters starts to serve the food.

“Is it okay with you, dear?” she asks.

You eagerly nodded your head as you find it a little awkward to be called by your surname all the time.

“Please enjoy the meal, y/n.” Sunghoon’s father said that made you glance at his direction. You nodded and all of you started eating.

Sunghoon kept looking after you that even while his father and him discusses about something, he keeps on assisting you. You blush, feeling a little shy that his mother will soon take notice and ask what’s between the two of you.

“You’re probably wondering why we suddenly asked to have dinner with you.” she started after you finished the main meals and now at your desserts.

You nodded and patiently wait for what she’s about to say. She pursed her lips and you can see her eyes softening, slightly brimming with tears.

She reaches for your hand and the two male kept silent, watching the two of you. Sunghoon’s hands moves and rests at the small of your back, giving it subtle caress.

“We want to thank you for looking out for Sunghoon and for helping him. We really did the right choice of asking for your help.” she sincerely said.

You smiled, “It was my pleasure.”

She smiles, “When he told us that he wants to undergo surgery and to drive for (f1 team) once again we were so happy. We couldn’t thank you enough!”

Your mouth gapped at what you just heard. The shock on your face was too evident that his Mom looked at you with amusement.

“W-What?” you asked, totally confused.

“Wait, he didn’t told you?” his Mom asks.

You shook your head side to side and heard Sunghoon heaving a sigh from beside you. He pushed himself from resting at his chair.

“It was suppose to be a surprise for her, Mom.” he says that made you look at him with teary eyes.

“Surprise.” he smirks.

“Are you really...?”

He nods his head, staring at you with an unknown look on his face. His affection for you oozing that even his parents noticed it right away. They didn’t need to ask or for their son to confirm it. From just how he holds you and looks at you, they can tell that he’s very fond of you.

“I’m so happy for you!” and you caged him with a tight embrace.

The dinner continued with a lighter atmosphere. You shared conversation with his Mom as she starts telling you stories about his childhood which you find really entertaining.

“Thank you for tonight.” you smiled widely at his Mother when its time to bid goodbye.

She pursed her lips and approaches for yet another warm hug. “Thank you for coming into our son’s life, y/n.” she whispers only for you to hear.

Your heart thumps and was unable to say anything else after she pulls away to give her son a hug this time. They waved and Sunghoon guides you towards his sports car.

“She likes you so much.” he says after putting his seatbelt on.

“Well your Mom is a sweetheart.”

He smiled agreeing. He started the engine and drove. You noticed that he its not the direction back to the hospital so you glanced at him.

“You aren’t taking me back to the hospital?”

He glanced at you, “Why? You left something?”

“My car is there.”

He kept his eyes at the road, “You’re going home with me tonight. You don’t need your car.”

You pursed your lips into a pout, “But I have work tomorrow.”

“We can ask someone to buy you work clothes and I can drive you to the hospital tomorrow since I also need to see the surgeon my Mom was talking about.”

Your eyes grew out of excitement.

“Okay, I can accompany you before I go to work.”

So it was final. The two of you made it to his place and decided to cuddle. Legs tangled with each other, your head laying over his chest as he hugs you close to his body. Sunghoon couldn’t ask for anything else. Just by having you like this while your hearts beats in sync with each other was enough.

The two of you spent the whole night just enjoying the warmth and comfort that escalates between you. It was a wholesome moment that probably will be cherished for as long as you can remember.

“Fucking fuck!” Sunghoon’s rasp voice moaned as he continued rutting deep and hard from behind you.

It was morning the next day and nothing’s better to start your day with a morning fuck. So here you are on your second orgasm for today, face pressed down on the pillow while he take you deliciously from behind. You can feel his length reaching all the right spot perfectly.

“H-Hoon, just like that!” you screamed.

“Pussy so tight for me. So good, so fucking good.” he leaned and bite on your skin before rocking even harder.

When you’re about to reach your climax, Sunghoon flips you around so you can face him. “I want to see your beautiful face while I cum deep inside you.” he groaned and once again find his pace.

You two were a moaning mess, desperately getting drowned by too much pleasures.

“P-Please, I'm cumming.” you mumbled, tears swells over your eyes.

He groped your chest and continued fucking you hard. Sunghoon licks his lips as he make sure he is hitting it deep and right. The amount of pleasure your pussy is giving him is out of this world. For him, nothing can match this. You are the only one.

“Cum with me, baby.” he demands that you completely obliges as eyes rolls back hardly after your release.

After a couple of thrust, Sunghoon shoots his hot seeds deep inside your womb, making sure he paints and claims you enough. He leans in while still giving you lazy thrusts and kissed you on your lips.

He plops beside you and you’re both trying to catch your breaths.

“We need to get ready.” you announced and sat up. His eyes follows you silently.

“Can’t we just go tomorrow instead?”

You shook your head in disapproval. “No. We have to do your sessions tomorrow so we have no time. Besides, you have to meet with your surgeon.”

After so many attempts of making him leave the bed and get ready, you finally succeeded. He drove you to the hospital.

“We’ll go to your surgeon first.” you left him with no choice.

Sunghoon silently follows, ignoring the eyes that obviously watches him after recognizing who he is. His tall figure, handsome face and the way he carries himself just catches attention easily.

“Excuse me, is doctor Kang available at the moment?” you ask the attendant nurse.

Her eyes lits up at the sight of you and smiles. “Yes, doctor.” she response.

“Great! May I ask what time is his appointment with Park Sunghoon?”

The nurses eyes brightens, “Mr. Park Sunghoon? Oh, Doctor Kang has been waiting for him for twenty minutes. His Mom already made the appointment last night.”

You smiled excitedly, “Thank you! I’m sorry for being late, we were caught on traffic. Can we go inside now?”

She nods and just informs Doctor Kang that his patient just arrived. You walked towards Sunghoon who have a placid expression on his face.

“Let’s go. I will walk you inside and I’ll go.”

“You’ll leave me there?” he asked with a tone of betrayal.

“I have work to do.”

“But I need you there.”

You sighed, “I’ll just meet with my client and then I will come back here. Okay?”

He still looked unsatisfied, but you pulled him towards the office of his surgeon. When you entered, his head lifts and eyes widen in surprise to see you. It didn’t slip from Sunghoon. The delightful look on his face the moment he saw you walking inside stirs something inside him.

He walks near you, back pressing on your back.

“Doctor (surname), what a surprise.” he greets and stood up from his table.

“Oh, I just accompanied Sunghoon here.” and now his eyes darted at his direction.

The doctor seem to be surprised again and quickly offered a hand. Didn’t want to be rude, Sunghoon tries to keep his cool and accepted it.

“Its such an honor to finally meet you, Mr. Park.” he says.

He gave him a short nod, looking a little snobby. Your lips lifts a bit, remembering how he’s just the same the first time you two had met.

“How’d you know him?” he curiously asked you.

You smiled, “I’m his psychiatrist,”

“And my girlfriend.” Sunghoon added that caught you off-guard, resting his hand over your waist.

The smile on his surgeon’s face fell, but he tries hard to pull it back.

“Oh, I s-see.” he awkwardly stated.

You blinked and with blushing cheeks, you realized it was your cue to leave them two alone.

“I’ll see you l-later?” you stuttered.

Sunghoon seemed unbothered and even pleaced a peck on your lips before finally letting you go. The whole time you’re walking towards your building, your mind was occupied. You cannot think of anything else but what Sunghoon just said.

Girlfriend? Did he really just said you are his girlfriend? Your stomach churns and heart hammered hardly inside your chest.

It took everything in you to shove that thought off of your mind in order to focus on your work. Your sessions went surprisingly well regardless of being a little distracted because of the F1 racer.

After your last session, you heard a knock from your door and Sunghoon went inside. You smiled while still writing something at your folder.

“So...” you started and tilts your head at him.

“Since when did I became your girlfriend?” your tone sounds teasing. He smirks and leans in to drop a peck on your lips.

“Since I asked you out on a date.”

You furrowed your brows, “The day we met after not seeing each other for days?” you tried confirming it to him.

He nodded his head innocently.

“I thought you already knew that we’re already dating since I asked you out.”

You blushed, “Do you even like me?”

He narrowed down his brows and stared right at your face. “No.” his quick answer shoots you straight to the chest. It was painful.

He grabs your hand and gently guides you to stand up only to tug you closer to him. He wraps his arms around your body.

“I love you.” the three words came out from him naturally that you’re completely dumbfounded.

You blinked, “A-Are you serious?”

Sunghoon chuckled, finding you adorable.

“I am crazy for you, y/n. In case you failed to notice.”

You smiled and tip-toed for a kiss on his lips. “I love you too.”

His cheeks perks up in so much satisfaction after hearing you utter those three words. You never knew that you two will end up in this situation. You were just overthinking about this and now it was settled. There’s nothing more you can ask and just enjoys being warmly wrapped between your boyfriend’s warmth.

Almost two months had passed and you cannot be happier. It was well spent with Sunghoon as you two grew in love with each other. He was badly smitten over you as much as you are to him.

His surgery went well too and he’s now on his therapies for him to get back in the right shape. The doctor said once he's over with all of this, he’s good as new like before. He can go back on track and win races again.

“Come in!” your cheerful voice echoes inside your office after you heard a knock from your office door.

You’re done with your session today and just getting ready to leave. Sunghoon’s not responding from your text an hour ago so you assumed you won’t be meeting him again today. He’s been really busy with his therapies lately and you completely understand.

Right now, your top priority is for him to get better and nothing else.

“Miss me?”

Your hand halts from putting your things inside your bag. Shivers ran through your spine and cold sweats all over you. The familiar horrifying voice you almost forgot about rings inside your head, instantly triggering that traumatic experience you had.

Slowly, you turned around to face the person standing right by the door. The smile on his face terrified you.

“M-Mr. Cha.” you stuttered while looking at him with nothing but fear on your eyes.

“Nice to see you too, y/n.” he trailed his gaze from your face down to your body. And when you saw how he licked his lips as he does that disgusts the hell out of you.

“I see you’ve been prettier while I was gone.” he walks closer and you couldn’t even move a muscle. You are pierced right at your position, unable to even say anything.

You wanted to run as fast as you can, but your stupid feet just could not move. Like it was glued or something.

“How have you been?” his hand raised to touch your face and you moved away. He doesn’t seem to like what you did so he grabbed your hair.

“Being feisty, eh?” the sarcasm looms over his tone as he pulled your head backwards, he took his time admiring your beautiful face up close.

The director can’t remember the very first time he ever started to feel the attraction towards you. Maybe it was when his father introduced you to him as the newly hired psychologist for the hospital. He still remember how bragged that you’re one of the top students in your university and the hospital managed to pull you.

He couldn’t help but to agree. It was indeed a lucky thing they managed to have you.

“P-Please don’t do this...” your tears rolled down your cheeks and lips shakes in so much fear.

Just by thinking of going through the same process like before terrified you. But who you are kidding? You didn’t even know why you bother to plead when you knew very well he wouldn’t listen.

Mr. Cha smirks and started peppering you with kisses. You grunts and cried in resistance, but he’s just more powerul than you.

As tears silently rolled down your face while this man was assaulting you, Sunghoon flashes through you mind. How you wished he can be here to protect you and prevent this thing to happen. You should’ve had said to him what happened before.

That’s the thing. No matter how many times you try, you can’t. Fear and embarrassment takes over whenever you try to tell him about that day. You know he would understand, its just your own fear is hunting you.

On the other hand, Sunghoon’s all smiley while he parks his car at the underground parking lot of the hospital. He’s just in time to pick you up from your shift.

He felt bad that therapies had been taking all of his time and he couldn’t spend more time with his lovely girlfriend. Tomorrow, he’s off to leave the country for a week of seminar and therapy. It would be the last one before the doctors allowed him to go on full training.

He figures he can go see and spend the night with you before he leaves for a few days. He will miss you the most.

As the elevator tings at your floor, he steps outside and saw that the table of your secretary was vacant. Seems like she left already. He’s pretty sure you are still here since he didn’t receive any messages that you left your office.

When he stepped closer, he can hear muffled sound coming from inside. Things being moved and some grunts. He slowly pushed the door open and the flower he was holding fell to the cold floor.

His whole body felt numb and his ears ringed at the sight in front of him. He can feel his whole body feeling cold, mind going blank.

“What the fuck...” he said that made the man holding you moved away.

Your teary eyes grew and you quickly fixed yourself as Mr. Cha managed to push your skirt up until your waist. You still have your underwear on, but the scene itself was sensual enough for Sunghoon to react this way.

“H-Hoon...” you called softly and tried to stand up properly.

When he looked at you with the hint of betrayal flickering through his eyes, your heart drops. He misunderstood everything. He clenched his jaw and took a step backwards, shaking his head from side to side.

“N-No! It isn’t what you t-think—”

You squealed when he step forward and took a hold of Mr. Cha’s collar. With dark and dangerous eyes he glares right at him. He threw a punch with no hesitation.

“Fuck you!” he shouted.

You quickly went to stop him before he unwillingly damage his shoulder again. Thankfully, he did let you but your heart broke when he shoved your hold off from him. He glanced at you with cold eyes and left the room.

You got stoned in your position for a while before finally composing yourself. Without much thought inside your head, you grabbed your jacket and phone to come after Sunghoon. He was no longer in the elevator and so you headed down the parking lot hoping you can catch up on him.

“Sunghoon!” you called out and scurry over to his sports car. Surprisingly, nobody was there.

A part of you felt relieved that he didn’t go and drove away using his car while he’s feeling that way. You’re still very worried. You fished your phone from your pocket and dialled one of his friend’s number.

“Y/n?” his surprised tone greets you after answering your call.

“Jake! Is Sunghoon with you?”

“Huh? He just left to go see you. Is he not there yet?”

You bit your lower lip and another set of tears attempts to stream down your face. Just being reminded of how horrible and hurt he looked moments ago hunts you.

“W-We had a fight. Can you please call him? Please? I’m scared that he’ll get into another accident.”

You heard background noises from the other line and follows, “All right. Jay and I will look around for him. Don’t worry too much and be safe.” he says that send instant relief.

“Thank you.” and you crash down the pavement near his parked car.

It’s unbelievable how these things are happening to you right now. As far as you remember, you’ve never did anyone wrongly to the point for you to suffer this way. Nobody deserves to be assaulted and silenced that way. But you are scared. To think that you shouldn’t be the one to feel ashamed but still do is depressing.

As expected, he refused to see you. His friends did confirmed that they had found him somewhere and safely took him to his house. It was enough for you. The last thing you’d want is for him to get into trouble because of you.

You headed home as well, praying so bad that everything will be fine soon. You’ve been so happy with Sunghoon lately that you lost track of time. The director is back after being out of the country for a while. You’re a bit dumb to think that he will stop once he sees you’re already dating somebody.

The next day, you’re about to head over to Sunghoon’s house but to your dismay he’s off to do his last therapy. It slipped off your mind as well. Now, it made you feel bad even more. He might have went there to come see you since he will leave for a few days.

You planned to come after him, but it may be not the best choice. His mind is probably occupied and he needs time to collect his own thoughts. The best thing you can do right now is resign from your job and wait for him to come back. You can afford losing that big opportunity, but not Sunghoon. Not him.

On the other hand, Sunghoon’s on his second day out of the country. He still out of it. He’s body is here, but his mind is clearly left back at you. His heart too. He can still feel his chest tightening whenever he recalls how he sees another man touching and kissing you that way.

“That seminar is so boring!” his head craned over to one of his friend as he settles down beside him. He placed his food on the table and glanced at Sunghoon once.

“You’re too quiet these days, hyung. You missed Y/n noona that much?” he teased and even nudge him over the shoulder.

He ignored what he said and remained silent. He was right. Even after what he saw, he can’t deny that he’s been missing you so much.

“But you know Cha Jin? The director of that hospital she's working on?” he stated that made Sunghoon stops from fidgeting over his fingers.

Just by merely hearing that guy’s name sets fire inside him. It boils his blood that he wants to go straight to where he is and punch him nonstop until he passed out.

His friend seemed to not notice how his expression changed and just continued talking about this director.

“He used to be my cousin’s batchmate and he said that guy harassed a lot of girls before! He even mentioned if it wasn’t for his family’s money and power, he would have been already in jail.”

Sunghoon stunned at what he just heard. He suddenly got reminded of how he caught you and that guy that day. Him pressing himself over you while your eyes brim with tears.

Your eyes....

He cursed inwardly for not noticing it right away and for letting his emotions take over him completely.

He abruptly stood up from his seat that surprised even his friend. He looked at Sunghoon with confused eyes.

“Hyung?”

“I’ll go first.” he says and started pressing something over his phone.

“G-Go where? Hyung!” he slightly panic at the sight of the older one gathering some important things.

“Home. Tell Mr. Lim I left because of an emergency.”

Sunghoon didn't even let his friend to say anything else and just proceed on leaving that place. He put his phone over his ears and wait for the other person to answer the call.

“Yes, Mr. Park?”

“I want to file a case.” he says seriously, fist hardly clenched while talking to his lawyer.

He wants so bad to ruin Mr. Cha for doing that and he wants to punch himself for being too dumb to notice. Sunghoon asked for an immediate flight back home and tried to organize everything that will be needed.

The next day, you went over your office to gather some things. Honestly, you have no enough courage to go there. You knew you couldn't stand being in that room for long right after what he just did to you.

You hate it because you’ve put so much work and effort just for that place to feel cozy and safe. He just ruined all of it. He’s disgusting and a monster.

Just as you’re hurrying to put all the stuff you can fit inside the small box you brought, your door bursts open.

“Leaving without saying good bye?”

You whipped your head to face him with piercing eyes. Seeing him flashing a smile and having the face to be here after doing all of that to you is unbelievable. He has no shame at all.

“I’m quitting my job.”

He scoffed, “Really?” he laughed with no humor. He still scares you, but you need to be brave. You have to.

“Do you think another hospital will accept you if I spread rumor about you?” he slid his hand inside his pocket and tilts his head with a cocky smile.

You clenched your jaw and stared at him with so much hatred. He is powerful and wealthy. You knew he can ruin your life in a snap, mainly why you’re also too afraid to leave this place.

“You can’t do anything about it, y/n.” he smirks wickedly.

A tear fell from your eyes then it moves over to look at the unfamiliar person who suddenly walks inside. Your brows furrowed in confusion and so does Mr. Cha.

“But I can.” Sunghoon’s familiar voice made you roam your eyes around and you almost lost your balance when you saw him walking inside.

“What...” Mr. Cha is as confused as you are.

“Mr. Cha Jin we are asking you to come with us for interrogation about a case of harassment and rape.” a guy held him by his shoulder firmly and the other put his wrists together.

Sunghoon walks towards you and cupped your face, making you burst into tears even more.

“I’m sorry for being late, baby.” he mumbles and you just shook your head side to side.

“You’re just in time.”

He smiles and leaned down to give you a sweet kiss on your lips. He pulled away and both of you looked over Mr. Cha as he kept on resisting from the people whose guiding him outside.

“You can’t do this! You have no enough proof!” he said enraged and his eyes darted at your direction.

“Tell them, y/n! Tell them I am innocent! Do something! Defend your director!”

You can’t believe how he can say all those words towards you when he knew very well how guilty he is. Sunghoon tugs you closer, trapping your body using one of his arm.

He throw an envelope near Mr. Cha and his eyes dropped down to look at it.

“That’s her resignation letter.” Sunghoon said seriously.

Mr. Cha doesn’t look so happy about it and with gritted teeth he looked at the two of you.

“You can’t do this! You know what I can do to you, y/n!” he kept threatening you.

Sunghoon scoffed and tilts his head before placing a kiss on your forehead while still eyeing Mr. Cha. No fear can be seen over your boyfriend’s eyes.

“You messed with the wrong girl.”

He signalled the authorities to take him away already and you nuzzle over his chest as the commotion unfold. You have nothing in mind, but the thought of things being over.

“Wait.” you said when it finally hits you.

“Are you done with your therapy?” you looked at him with worried eyes.

Sunghoon smiled a little, “Not yet.”

“Then why are you here? You should be—” your words got cut off when he leans in and drop a kiss at your lips.

“I am here because my girlfriend needs me. I am a fool to leave you here alone that day.” guilt flashes through his eyes and you’re quick to comfort him.

“Don’t say that. The important thing is that you are here now.” and you wrapped your arms around his waist for a tight hug.

You two stayed that way before you decided to go home.

“Wait.” Sunghoon says and tugs your arm to pull you back.

Your body crashes on his and he looked at you with those hot eyes. With a little suspicion you stared at him.

“W-What?”

He smirked as one of his hand slowly moves down your thighs. You blushed and roamed your eyes around to check if somebody is there.

“Let me fuck you here in your office one last time.” he whispered sexily as he swiftly switch your positions and pushed you over your office table.

“But what if someone sees us?”

He pushed your skirt up to reveal your underwear. Sunghoon curses at how hot you looked beneath him before he licked his lip.

“Then they will enjoy the show.” and with a big grin, he pushed your undies to the side then pulled out his erect cock.

He gave his palm a lick before aligning his hardened head on your wet core. You let out a small moan at the sensation of his dick touching your entrance.

“Nobody,” he grunts as he pushed it inside with no mercy making you yelped a little. “can every taste you this way. This is all mine. Mine.” he said firmly like a law nobody can disobey.

He started thrusting from behind you and you two are both a moaning mess. He made his hand roam your sexy back before reaching your hand to intertwin your fingers.

“I love you so much, baby.”

Your mouth hanged open, saliva dripping slightly out from it from too much pleasure as your boyfriend kept hitting the right spots.

“I l-love you, Hoon.”

“You look lovely.” he doesn’t even need to utter those words towards you as his eyes are enough for you to know it.

The way Sunghoon stares at you with so much love and affection will always be your favorite thing. His thick brows making a straight line whenever he looks at you indicates how his worries disappears. His sexy eyes never leaving you and his lips lifting for a smile shows how badly smitten he is for you.

You smiled and leaned closer for one kiss as you don’t want your gloss to be smeared all over him if it was a long kiss. He tried to chaste after, not satisfied with the short affection. You’re quick to dismiss his attempt for another kiss.

“Later.”

“Later?”

You giggled, “Yes, later.”

He nods and placed a kiss at your shoulder before the two of you walks inside the venue. Tonight, his team gathered everyone for a small dinner party to welcome him back. His other team-mates and his coach are pretty much excited to have him back.

Of course, he asked you to be there. He wants you to be there for him.

“There he is! My man!” their coach cheers and eagerly approached Sunghoon as you two made an entrance.

His teammates didn’t waste time to come and greet him as well, delighted to see him around. You didn’t fail to catch their attention too as they kept eyeing you after greeting Hoon.

Your eyes catch a glimpse of his ex-girlfriend with Sunghoon’s ex best friend. They both stood from a distance unlike everybody else. She looked a little sad and whole regretful as she stare at your direction.

She couldn’t help but reminisce the times that it was her who he was holding.

“This is Doctor y/n (surname), my girlfriend.” he announced sounding so proud.

They all looked amused and even bickered around who can shake your hand first. You giggled finding it adorable and funny.

“You two look good together.” your heads whipped over to the side when two people approaches.

The taunting lingers over his tone as he smirks over Sunghoon, eyes flickering slight anger and disapproval to your boyfriend’s presence. Natasha stood close to him, her body language shows how uncomfy she is and how she refused to be in that situation.

A part of you felt bad for her, but you also know she kind of deserves it after what she did to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon didn’t show any sign of annoyance through his face, but instead pulled you closer to his side.

“Thanks. I can say the same thing to the two of you.” Sunghoon said with a playful smirk on his face as he stated those words with a meaningful tone.

Natasha looked so bothered about it and so does his best friend. He tries to hide it with a humorless laugh and clicked the side of his cheeks.

“Don’t you feel sorry for suddenly showing up like nothing happened?” he fired that made Sunghoon's smile fell.

His smirk grew wider at the reaction Sunghoon showed. He seems to be enjoying it and you hate it. So even before he can utter another word, you stepped in.

“Yes, my boyfriend does feel sorry.” you interrupted with a sweet voice and a playful expression on your face.

Everyone eyed you as you looked straight at his ex best friend’s face.

“The only thing he felt sorry about is that he left the team on your care.” you said that earned reactions from their teammates.

You pursed your lips into a pout, like you feel sorry. Like you feel so much pity.

“You didn’t even made it to the top five, right? What a shame.” you teased that clearly hit the spot as his smirk fell completely.

Sunghoon grinned and licked his lip before tilting his head over to the side, very impressed.

“But don’t worry guys. Sunghoon’s back to win you another trophy this season. I know he won’t disappoint us.” and you flash them all a very sweet smile.

And he really didn’t disappoint.

“For first place, champion for this season.” the announcer voice echoes to the whole place while you looked above during the podium ceremony.

Your eyes goes teary just watching Sunghoon smiling so widely while looking straight at you. His mother held your arm beside and got her widest smiles as well.

“Park Sunghoon!” everyone cheered so loudly after his name was called.

You screamed and clapped, admiring how he really shines. This is where he truly belongs, his natural habitat. He is meant for this. You pursed your lips, trying to hold back your tears.

He kissed the trophy while still looking straight to you. He mouthed ‘I love you’ and you responded, ‘I love you.’

Your heart races as the crowd cheers loudly for Park Sunghoon, the famouse ace racer of the team (f1 team) and also your boyfriend.

tag-list:

@candewlsy @nyfwyeonjun @sunghoonizz @jaehyuniewifeu @imjakes-wifeofc1 @deobitifull @enhypens-hoe @yzzyhee @nyxtwixx @crimnalseung @vixensss @jjklvr9 @gonorrheaisme @lhspeachie @myboyfriendjungkook @capri-cuntz @brooklyninawhitemustang @woniebae @ma-riiii @tinie03 @seokseokjinkim @iheartjayke @hybeboyenthusisast @minniejenseo @shelovsme @sjakewrld @shawnyle @skzenhalove @crimnalseung @cloud-lyy @vixialuvs @mitmit01 @mintdsunoo @metkayinassss @dojaejunging @ahnneyong @denleave1088 @velvetkisscs @saanvilovessunghoon @ilymarkchan @realrintaro @acolytees @tanisha2060 @stuckonclouds @outroherrr @yunhoswrldddd @smpfrpshlhs @missychief1404 @riyuukii @jungwonieee

[bunji-enthusiast]

Run, Run Far Angel

Note || I am obligated as a fanfic author to write this, sue me. I got attached to DogDay, and he deserved better in Chapter 3.

WC || 2,070

<(You are here)><(sequel part)>

Sypnosis || An unlikely shortcoming of a friendly entity, or, You get a new friend in spite of this hellish factory.

The noise that had buzzed in the far reaches in the depths of your ears had annoyed you to no end, insistent to remain with you. So many times over had your guilt marred your sense of peace, your sense of futility. Whatever control you felt you had in your life was completely gone the moment you had come back to the accursed place known as Playtime Co. Toy Factory. So many unruly things had gone here, things done and said that left you chuckling–few that had left you with regrets.

Regrets that had stayed with you for well over ten years, since your co-workers had disappeared. You always had a sinking feeling you knew well what had happened to the last of them, your friends and those that you had come to consider family. 

Then you fell into Playcare, a place once filled with laughter and joy, something of which was indescribable. To know the children here and being able to hear such joyful playing and sometimes the odd cry, it was fulfilling, now the whole Factory–every floor there was to know–was devoid of the very same life you’ve come to know and love all those years ago.

Now the only thing that had tormented your mind, as it always had been since you first arrived, was your fight or flight. Instinctive you were, but you hated every minute of having to run and hide away from the monster that had presided reign over their domain, on of which the very one you had to be stuck with was-

“Catnap?” You muttered, thumbing the scarred fur that was blotched with ashy spots, as if it were burned by fire. 

The small recreational stuffed animal looked so adorable for the most part, yet it disturbed you greatly, guilt was predominant in mind and body. In all of your years you had remembered working at the Factory you don't ever recall the name of Catnap, the creepy elongated mouth had stood out to you the most.

He was hunting you, toying with you for sport. You couldn’t really understand why he hadn’t just gunned you for killing you at a moment's notice, though you felt a breath of relief that you could buy yourself time.

Supposedly some of this relief is partial to the fact that this Ollie kid was guiding you on where to go, with how dark this place was is absurd to you–so the guidance was appreciated. A voice had finally snapped you out of your ever consuming thoughts, it was terribly the truth.

“Hey are you alright? Just press that button and you’ll be through in no time! The small critters cant seem to get you from up there so you should be alright.” Ollie, yes Ollie that is the kids name. Who is this strange person anyway?

Unfortunately you weren’t in a position to worry about that right now, you simply pressed the button with the help of your grabpack. Trying to remember all the hands you had now with you was troublesome, but you manage.

‘I suppose.’ You wonder if there is anyone in this place that won’t actively be out for your head, truth be told.

Maybe that was a miracle in mind, as you walked through the desolate rubble the air seemed to desaturate, a mist once permeated with dread and the iron taste of blood seemed to float away as you came across a surprising display. Gruesome but something nobody should have to see or experience. 

It seemed to be DogDay, you could've sworn coming across a cardboard cutout of the very same character earlier. 

He seemed to be so.. Sad.

“You…you’re Poppy’s angel. Come to save us. Nothing left to save, not here…You’re in CatNap’s home, angel. Their home.” His voice was broken, forlorn, vocal cords riddled with experience he never wanted to relive again. You felt saddened on his behalf, no doubt the pain he is feeling right now is tremendous. For a moment, silence had filled the comfortable atmosphere rendering you with a small pit of anxiety balling within your gut.

Still you feel as if you had to speak, but you allow Dogday to have his part, that much you could try to do for him.

DogDay’s head lolled about as if he were a ragdoll, the effort to make movement was extraneous. “A million pairs of eyes are on you now. Watching, waiting, hungry. They want nothing more than to crawl beneath your skin and eat away at you bit by little bit - fill what feels empty inside themselves.” Those words sparked an ire of curiosity inside your trodden heart, you wanted to help him now.

You needed help, especially answers too. He was in pain, and you wanted to help him, so to ease your guilty conscience a little; hopefully in the process of gaining a friend at the same time. “Catnap.. Just, I don’t understand him.” DogDay raised his head, looking at you wistfully as if he had expected the aforementioned cat to be brought up. 

DogDay winced as he moved, each little rattle sending painful vibrations throughout his body–the phantom legs hadn’t brought any peace to him whatsoever.

“That thing…CatNap. The Prototype is his God, and this is what he does to heretics.” His words carried an aura of ominous spiels, as if you were to heed this warning. “These little toys follow CatNap to avoid that very fate- and in return, they are fed.” 

In their place, you would take measures to avoid such a fate too if you would. To a point, you could sympathize with the small toys, not being able to do anything and the teetering possibility of being killed always hanging over your head. Knowing that alone is unfathomably terrifying.

“Would explain why they were hunting me previously..” You murmur, now tucking that thought to the depths of your mind. Still you wanted to hear out DogDay, for he knew better of what had gone on here then you did. His head had shagged, fur ruffled and dangling about as he had squirmed slightly.

“We tried to fight it, the Prototype’s control. I’m…the last of the Smiling Critters.” His tune was mournful, his friends really had been killed right before his very eyes. Catnap’s gas, you remember it well enough. 

You had to take a moment – articulate your words. You were completely filled to the brim with anxiety and alert, you remind yourself to not let down your guard in spite of being with someone who has no intention of wanting to kill you. “You had tried to escape, and he… knocked you out with his gas?”

DogDay’s brows creased, confirming your answer. You felt so terrible for him, causing you to be firmly set on a decision. 

You were helping him get out of here, in no way shape or form did you feel he should be left behind in shambles like this. “This is probably going to sound, insane. But I’m gonna help you get outta here.” Dogday perked up at this, nodding his head no.

He certainly didn’t want you to die, especially not on his account.

“Angel that is not wise! I will slow you down.” He persists, “Listen to me, you need to get out of this place. You need to live. You and Poppy can fix this, end this madness, the torment–” You didn’t want him to change your mind, so as immediate as you were, You desperately grabbed at his arms.

Quickly and surely enough the small critter toys had began crawling toward DogDay, you certainly would not put up with that. You fired a flare gun at the small critters, as much as you could so you could buy time to get DogDay out of his chains.

It seemed Dogday had sensed your determination to want to help him in spite of his warings, even with how much he had tried to convince you to leave. “You are doing well Angel, keep them away from me.. I will do my best to free myself of these.” His voice felt strained, cut off with a cough as he wriggled free–even if every brittle bone in his body had begged him to just lay there and rest.

You thanked him silently, continuing to work away at the critters who were highly determined in their goal to possess DogDay and resume their chase to kill you. “I am free! Quickly now Angel, quickly.” He ushered you forward to run right away, you picked him up as soon as he had done so and heaved him over your shoulders with a heavy breath as a display of your efforts. To say he was surprised at your willful strength was an understatement, he silently applauded you for your strength to keep moving.

Though, it hadn’t removed any of his worry for you as you continued to run forward, your muscles straining to keep up with your mind. From what he can understand of humans anyway, you were exhausted, though he felt it wasn’t right to speak out on it anyway–safety first before talking. 

“Almost there, Angel.. You just need to get to that elevator over there!” He jabbed his finger in the direction you needed to go, and you went on instinct with his direction. Your muscles ached and burned, but you could rest as soon as you reached the elevator, you couldn’t risk DogDay being left behind helpless with the small critters.

Speaking of which, they were still chasing you and your new companion. You wished they stopped, but you had considered an aforementioned thought, they only do this to ensure their fate wasn’t like his. Since then this has wildly changed.

You were close to the edge.

Then, you leaped, everything seemed to slow down. DogDay held on tightly, hands wrapped around your neck secured tight, to you it seemed comforting in the depths of your sudden despair.

You dropped right onto the metal plate, which luckily had railing. The door shut right behind you as DogDay had quickly made action to press the button to start up the elevator nor long after you had succeeded in jumping to the elevator. He slumped with a sigh, something you could very much agree with, sitting down with a thump following in your wake. 

Truth be told, you weren’t sure of how much more you could take much more of this nightmare. You may just as well be in a very long dream, and you were just actually sleeping at home, but no way however as the exhaustion had finally settled into your bones. 

Weary bones creaked about as DogDay made an effort to check over your slumped body, wanting to ensure you were not injured anywhere before he spoke, “Whatever questions you have..” He paused for a moment as if he were considering his words, something of which seemed to happen to a lot of people and toys alike in this Factory. “I will answer, rest for now first.”

DogDay was being his typical self, always so worried over someone else before considering his own health. His own legs being severed must be a great deal of pain, you wanted to ask him to rest too. Yet, you were too tired to respond, only nodding curtly as sleep had stolen you away from your awakened consciousness. 

A genuine smile seems to relax DogDay’s expression, you sorely needed rest. He would help you get that rest, things to talk about and things to face would come later. “You have done impossible things, you have run far. Thank you.” He quietly spoke, curling up to cuddle you. 

His head laid to rest on the crown of your head, hands and arms elongating ever so slightly to surround you in his warmth. DogDay was a leader, a friend, but he was also a good napping buddy. That much was certainly no lie to be told. 

Silence seemed to fill his ears now, sleep was creeping up to DogDay as well. Ah, he cannot sleep right now. You were in his care and vulnerable, especially considering you had gone through the trouble of freeing him. 

To those tormented, the madness had enraged man and toy, you were their saving graces. Someone they could get behind, without the utmost support where would you be now?

“Night has fallen, but for you I will do my absolute best to help you, Angel.”

[justauthoring]

the winner takes it all.

in which, leander prewett is a prick and sebastian shows him not mess with his girl.

a/n: i truly am the queen of being late to the partyyyyyyyyyyyy (ive wanted to write for sebastian since hogwarts legacy came out but just finally got around to finally writing for him :) )

warnings: leander prewett bashing because i said so :), being drugged?

pairing: sebastian sallow x f!slytherin!reader

“I don’t need to have eyes to know you’re staring, Sebastian.”

Ominis’ rather bland comment pulls Sebastian from the spiraling thoughts that had been coursing through his mind, a blink of the eye as he shifts, turning to face his long time friend with a frown. 

“I’m not staring,” Sebastian argues, voice sharper than he meant it to be. Guilt runs through him when he realizes he’s being unfairly cross with Ominis, a boy that despite all has had to deal with Sebastian’s rather cross moods as of late and in the grand scheme of things, has done so with very little complaint.

“Sorry,” Sebastian sighs after a moment of silence passes, shoulders sinking. “It’s just…”

Ominis sets his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder across the table, squeezing reassuringly. “You don’t need to explain, Sebastian. I understand,” he offers softly, voice warm with what is meant to be comfort. Sebastian, despite the hurt in his heart, does feel himself ease, even if only a little, at Ominis’ words. The boy has always been exceptionally good at understanding others and knowing what to say to help someone—something Sebastian often found he lacked in retrospect. But then again, given who Ominis was, it made complete sense for him to understand and see things other’s couldn’t (even if he lacked the actual sight to do so).

“I just worry you’ll do something rash,” Ominis adds tentatively, as if afraid of Sebastian’s reaction. 

But Sebastian isn’t offended—honestly, he’s been rather scared of his own limits as of late. Especially when he was faced with that mocking grin and gaze that seemed to scream; I beat you.

It all started two days ago when, instead of meeting Sebastian in your shared common room as you normally did, you never showed up. The act was odd but Sebastian had brushed it off as a simple lack of communication, figuring you’d headed to the Great Hall ahead of him for whatever reason since Anne had assured him you weren’t in your room. Maybe you forgot to let him, he figures; the possibilities of why you’d left early were endless and it wasn’t like Sebastian wasn’t capable of walking the halls without you so he’d shrugged it off and joined Ominis and Anne instead.

It was really when he entered the Great Hall that everything went wrong.

Despite his brush off earlier, the second he was in the hall, his eyes had strained to search for you, missing the familiar and comfortable conversation he could find in you. He missed seeing your face first thing and making you laugh with one of his silly quips or light teasing, watching you stuff your face full of food because you couldn’t possibly just choose one thing and rather had to have it all and—

And all of that seemed to feel a lot worse when he finally found you and saw you sat at not only the wrong table but with Leander Prewett of all people. If that wasn’t bad enough, you were practically sitting on his lap, his arm wrapped firmly around your waist as you cuddled into his side, giggling as the boy practically fed you.

Sebastian’s feet had moved on their own, despite Anne’s worried call after him and Ominis trying to grab him (because despite not being able to see what Sebastian had, he’d known the boy long enough to know something was terribly wrong). Neither of them had mattered in that moment as Sebastian blindly made his way over to the Gryffindor table, ignoring the curious pairs of eyes that watched him, marching straight up to you and Leander. The latter lazily glanced up at him, looking entirely too smug and pleased about himself as your eyes slowly flickered over to him, blinking, before smiling; “Sebastian!”

The way you’d called his name sounded all wrong. Although you looked pleased, a bright grin on your face, your eyes weren’t sparkling with the mischief he’d come to expect from you and rather you looked dazed.

Lovesick. The word made Sebastian want to throw up.

“Can we help you, Sallow?” Leander grinned, tilting his head in mock curiosity.

Sebastian’s lips part, but he hesitates, bewildered. His eyes flicker from Leander, to you, to the grip he has on you, to the way you’re holding him. “What… what the bloody hell is this?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Leander asks, voice sickly sweet. “Y/N and I were just enjoying breakfast together, weren’t we, love?” And to add to it all, Leander presses a kiss to your cheek and what shocks Sebastian most of all is that you don’t push him away or slap him or anything—you… you respond to the kiss.

Now, it wasn’t like you hated Leander. You knew of Sebastian’s… distaste towards the boy, and that Anne and Ominis in one way or another felt the same, though just not as much. You didn’t care for the boy either, as you’ve told Sebastian plenty, but you’d told him plenty of times not to be too mean or cruel or at least, try to get along with him.

Sebastian feels like he’s going crazy—was this why? Did you want him to at least try and get along with Leander because all along you’d had a secret crush on him or something? 

Had Sebastian misread everything?

The walks together every morning? The late nights spent together? The lingering touches? Longing looks? Flirts and teases and…—

“That’s right,” you grin at Leander, brushing at his bright, red hair and smiling. 

“But…” Sebastian swears he sounds more pathetic than he ever has… he certainly feels it. Watching you stare at Leander with that lovesick expression, smiling and touching him and… had Sebastian just never seen it? Had he been that blind by his own emotions? “You weren’t in the common room this morning,” is what he eventually manages, though it’s rather pointless.

It was obvious where you were.

“Oh,” you call out, blinking, as if you’d just remembered—oddly, that hurts the most. That you’d… forgotten about him. “Sorry Sebastian, I had such an urge to see Leander this morning and… well, I’m glad I did. Because I was finally able to tell him of my feelings,” you smile at him, cupping his cheek. “And i’ve never been so happy to hear he returned them.”

Sebastian’s lips part, his gaze shifting to Leander who’s watching him carefully.

The glare is clear. The meaning is plain.

I win.

Thankfully Anne is flanking his side before he can make more of an embarrassment of himself, grabbing Sebastian firmly by the arm and offering you a small, albeit bewildered smile and a glare at Leander before leading Sebastian away.

It had been two days since then and you hadn’t left Leander’s side once.

The only time you were alone was in the classes you didn’t share with him, and despite the fact that Sebastian had luckily shared one of those classes with you, his hopes at finding out some sort of answer had been quickly squashed when you spent the entire class in a daze. You hadn’t paid attention to the professor at all and spent your time staring off in a blissful, oblivious smile, ever so often whispering Leander’s name under your breath.

Sebastian was heartbroken. And angry. And hurt. And everything in between.

“I want to,” Sebastian admits to Ominis as he pulls himself from the memory. But, then, he sighs. “I won’t though. If… Y/N is happy, well, I guess there’s nothing I can do about that.”

Ominis frowns. “You’re not going to fight it even a little?”

Sebastian turns to him, confused; “you just said you didn’t want me doing that.”

“I just don’t want you to do anything rash,” Ominis argues, shaking his head. “It all still feels so strange to me. I mean, had Y/N given any sort of inclination about her feelings for Leander? I certainly don’t remember her saying anything and neither does Anne.”

Sebastian pauses, “well, no… I guess not. But maybe it was because we’d been clear how we felt about him.”

“Still,” Ominis expresses, leaning forward. “It’s so sudden. She went to bed fine and then woke up that morning and she’s barely spoken two words to us since. We were once her best friends, no?”

Sebastian had been so caught up in his own hurt he hadn’t even begun to think about how Ominis and Anne must be feeling. They were your best friends just as much as they were his after all and it wasn’t just Sebastian you’d steered clear of… you’d been avoiding all three of them like they were the plague. 

Sebastian sighs; “I think she’s just—”

“—She’s been poisoned!”

Both Ominis and Sebastian rear their heads back in surprise at both Anne’s words and her very sudden arrival, not to mention the loud bang that echoes as she slams the box in her hands onto the table with no care for those around. Some Slytherins nearby send her glares but she ignores them, her wide eyes strictly on both Sebastian and Ominis as she pants, out of breath.

“Anne,” Ominis calls, blinking. “What are you talking about? Who?”

“Y/N,” she all but breathes, turning to Sebastian who’s sat beside her. “Y/N’s been poisoned.”

Sebastian’s brows furrowed; “what the bloody hell are you talking about?”

“Look,” she calls, pushing the box in her hands forward. Sebastian eyes it as she takes the lid off, taking in the red and gold wrapping paper, before eyeing the wrapped piece of chocolate Anne pulls out of it. 

Sebastian stares; “it’s chocolate.”

Anne huffs, exasperated. “It’s laced,” she explains, pushing it to Sebastian’s face. “Smell it.”

Completely baffled but unable to resist with the way Anne is shoving the chocolate in his face, Sebastian does as he’s told. Leaning forward, he takes a small whiff, almost immediately frowning in confusion when he does; “it smells like… Y/N.”

For a moment, Anne pauses; “well, that fits,” she laughs, before pulling the chocolate closer to her. “It smells different to me. It smells like—” but she hastily cuts herself off, growing red in the cheeks as her eyes flicker over to Ominis.

A moment passes.

“Okay…” Ominis finally sighs, probably the most confused. “But what does this have to do with Y/N being—” He halts, eyes widening. “Amortentia!”

Anne grins; “exactly.”

“What?” Sebastian cries.

“I found these chocolates on Y/N’s bed,” Anne explains, “with a note attached, signed by Leander.”

The cogs in Sebastian’s mind slowly click together.

“He… he drugged her!” he calls out in disbelief, feeling a new wave of rage flood through him. His eyes snap back to his right, where he’d been staring before, where you are, coddled up next to Leander as he smiles sickly down at you, touching you, kissing you. “I’m gonna kill him.”

Anne is quick to grab onto him, “no.” And at the bewildered look he sends her, she frowns. “We need to get her to Blainey. She’s the only one who can heal Y/N and then the school will deal with him.”

Sebastian wants to argue but despite the anger radiating through him, he knows his sister is right.

-

Your head hurts as you blink away, the bright light above your head causing you to moan in dejection, confused.

Where were you?

Pressing a hand to your face, you try to block the light, using your other hand to push yourself up, slowly, since your whole body hurts in a dull ache everywhere. It takes you a moment to realize you’re in the hospital wing, recognizing the startling white of the room, before a set of hands are falling on you, pulling your attention to your left.

You gasp, panicked, until you see a familiar pair of warm brown eyes staring back at you in concern.

“Sebastian…” You mumble, voice coarse.

He shakes his head at you; “don’t push yourself.” He urges gently, his hand on your back as the other reaches behind you, helping prop you up with your pillows. You let him, still confused, as you glance around the room.

“How… How did I get here?” You asked, not remembering how you ended up here or why… actually, everything feels like a dull blur. The last thing you clearly remember is coming to your dorm after a long day of classes, surprised to see a box of chocolates on your bed and they’d been from… Leander!

Your eyes snap to Sebastian; “Sebastian! I think… I think I may have been poisoned by—”

“Leander Prewett,” Sebastian cuts in, face darkening as he nods at you. “Yes, well, Y/N…”

“You were given the love potion, my dear,” Blainey calls out, stepping into your view with a sheet of paper in her hands, eyes slowly flickering to meet your own with a worried frown. “Amortentia,” she nods, lips pursed. “Thanks to this young man, I was able to give you the remedy rather quickly but it looks like you were drugged for at least a couple days. Your body aches because of the antidote, so I’d like to keep you for a few hours just to make sure everything is alright but overall, there should be no lasting effects.”

Stunned, you let her words register.

Letting your hands fall numbly to your lap, you stare at them.

“Y/N?” Sebastian calls out quietly, pulling your eyes on him as he glances at you in concern. “Are you…?” his words trail, not really sure how to gauge the look on your face.

“I’m alright,” you whisper, “just… embarrassed.”

Sebastian shakes his head; “it’s not your fault—”

The door slamming open catches both of your attention, and your eyes widen when Leander comes storming into the room. The concerned look on his face is quickly replaced with rage when he sees Sebastian at your side, and Leander wastes no time; “just what are you doing—”

But Leander never gets to finish what he’s saying because in the next second Sebastian’s fist is colliding with his cheek, hard, and knocking him off his feet and straight into the ground. Nurse Blainey lets out a cry in surprise as you jump, body tensing as your eyes flicker from Leander to Sebastian, but you’re not afraid. At least not of Sebastian. Rather, his actions fill you with an odd warmth.

“I normally wouldn’t send you straight to detention for that, Mr. Sallow,” Professor Weasley’s voice rings out as she makes her way inside the room, and your eyes widen when you see Ominis and Anne trailing closely behind her. “But given the circumstances, I guess I’ll let such violence pass this once. Just don’t let it happen again, Mr. Sallow.”

Still breathing heavily, Sebastian takes a step back, his eyes easing when he turns to look at the professor. “You got it, Professor Weasley.”

“Now, Mr. Prewett,” Weasley’s voice calls out and the boy jumps as her steely eyes fall on him, scrambling to his feet as he looks around at everyone. “I believe you and I need to have a long chat.”

“B-But—” Leander sounds absolutely pathetic, his eyes falling on you as you simply glare at him, arms crossed over your chest, before falling on Sebastian who grins at him widely.

I win.

“Now, Mr. Prewett.”

Leander all but skulks out behind Weasley.

The second he’s gone, Anne rushes to your side, taking your hands in hers. “I was so worried when you started acting like a lovesick fool for Prewett of all people,” she cries, shaking her head as your cheeks burn, thinking of all the embarrassing things you must’ve been doing for the past few days. “I’m so glad none of it was real.”

Letting out a light laugh, you rub at the back of your neck; “I imagine I embarrassed myself quite a bit, huh?”

“A little,” Ominis says honestly, grimacing. “But it wasn’t your fault and the school is sure to know that when Leander is expelled for using a potion on you like that.”

His words bring comfort, even if a little.

“Y/N must be tired, guys,” Sebastian calls out after a moment. “Let’s leave her to rest.”

Ominis nods, offering you a small squeeze on the shoulder before pulling Anne with him who just grins at her brother; “I trust you’ll take good care of her for me though, won’t you, brother?”

Sebastian’s cheeks burn red and you turn away, but he doesn't argue.

Once Anne and Ominis have left, Sebastian returns to the seat he’d been in beside your bed, Blainey having left to give the both of you a bit of space. There’s a silence that swallows the both of you, and then, slowly, you let your hand fall on his.

“I’m sorry.”

Sebastian blinks, turning to you. “Why are you…”

You bite your lip, looking at your lap, cheeks flushed. “Whatever I did… I know Ominis said it already, but really, none of it was me… you know that, right?”

Sebastian flips his hand, taking yours in his and squeezing. “You have no idea how reassuring that is to hear.” 

Your eyes snap to his, lips parting.

He shakes his head. “Even when Anne discovered you’d been drugged, there was still a part of me that… I–I guess, it’s just… seeing you act that way with him, kissing and holding and-and being with him like that… It made me terribly uncomfortable.”

You shift, leaning closer to him; “just uncomfortable?”

“Jealous.”

He glances up at you, and you meet his eyes, hand still in his as your free hand reaches forward, daring yourself to brush your fingers through his curls. Sebastian lets you, eyes watching you, before suddenly he’s leaning forward and then his lips are on yours, soft and warm albeit nervous, pulling away too soon as your lips part and you stare back at him.

“Incredibly jealous.”

You smile softly, “I didn’t mean any of it.” You whisper, emphasizing the words. “I didn't mean any of it with him because I wanted it to be with you, Sebastian.”

He grins, his face easing for the first time since you’d woken up and the sight of it is enough to fill you with warmth.

Then, Sebastian’s lip part and he’s grinning a little too widely; “that’s a relief because it was almost embarrassing for me to see you fawning over—”

You cut him off with a sharp slap to his shoulder, one he gasps in response to, holding the offended spot but the grin never fades from his lips as he smirks over at you.

“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”And of course, his eyes sparkle with glee; “nope.”

[zombiigrll]

──────────────────────────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

IMMUNE? ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x immune!reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 2.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ hurt to comfort?, use of y/n, blood, zombie apocalypse stuff ofc, post-terminus era, references/slight spoilers to twd 5x2 ?? petname (angel - which also did we all collectively agree that carl would call his s/o angel? i see everyone use it i have before too its so cute .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ you get bit, but nothing happens. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ hey guys... its been a minute... (45 days COUGH COUGH) i am so sorry i have been SO BUSY and i didnt even realize i had this fic almost completely finished in my drafts so i decided why not finally finish it!! (which is also why the ending might be a bit weak because i also have no written anything for 45 days LMAO) my favorite thing about the whole science behind zombisim is all the theories of if you could or couldn't become immune so i wanted to write a little fic because i love... zombie science.. nerd alert!!! ☝️🤓 <- me but also whats a carl grimes/zombie fanfic writer without writing at least one immunity fic!! hope u guys enjoy!!

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────────────────────────

everyone knew you were clumsy. you'd always have to be with someone, no matter what. that's how much people worried about you.

there had been plenty of times where you had been close to getting bit, and if you were alone, you would've been bit.

but now, you and your group were back on the road after the prison had fell. you all met up at a terrible place called terminus, and almost died if carol wouldn't have shown up. it was dangerous, and terrifying. but you had carl on your side, as always. he was the person who had saved you so many times. he was like your personal bodyguard.

you guys had eventually ended up at a church with a priest named gabriel. you felt uneasy being there. gabriel seemed, well, unstable. rick saw it too, telling carl to keep his guard up.

but after a while, everyone was inside the church, laughing and having fun.

you spot bob walking outside, which catches your attention instantly. no one else really seemed to notice, so you turned over to carl.

"i'm gonna go outside."

"do you want me to go with?" he asks, immediately sitting up.

"no, it's fine. i think i saw bob go out there. i wanna go check on him." you smile at him, standing up and walking over to where you saw bob go.

but when you stepped out, he was nowhere to be found.

"bob?" you called out, walking forward a bit more as you looked around for him. "where'd you go?"

you walked a bit further, leaning your arm on a tree as you looked past further into the distance, searching for any sight of bob.

but, to your luck, you were snuck up on. you heard a growl to your side, where your arm was leaning, and then a pain shot through your forearm.

you let out a loud shriek as you fumbled for your knife, stabbing the walker who was still attached to your arm in the head. you kicked him off, breathing heavily.

you could feel your heart pounding out of your chest.

you glanced down at the walker who was now laying dead on the ground, gripping tightly on your knife as you processed what had just happened. you lifted up your pained, bleeding arm.

"no... no, oh, my god." you dropped your knife and began wiping away the blood that was profusely leaking out of your fresh bite wound. "shit..."

you stared at your arm for a moment, attempting to catch your breath while watching your own blood drip onto the floor beneath you.

the doors to the church busted open, snapping you out of your daze. carl, rick, and michonne stood at the door, staring at you.

carl stepped a bit closer. "what happened? are you okay-" he stopped as he spotted your arm. his face fell flat and his eyes widened.

"it snuck up on me.." you quietly and breathlessly responded, tears falling from your agonized face. "i was looking for bob."

rick runs up to you as he realizes you had been bit. he grabs your arm, his face a bit panicked as he starts speaking. "we have to cut it off."

"no!" you tugged your arm away from his grip, holding your arm from him. "we don't have the stuff for that!"

"stop yelling." rick sternly ordered, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder. "let's go inside. i'm sure gabriel has the stuff for it."

you anxiously nodded, stepping toward the church with carl by your side.

"i'll get gabriel." michonne said, walking towards his office. "find somewhere for her to sit."

you take a seat in one of the rows, still holding your arm tightly.

"what the hell happened?" glenn asks, quickly walking over to the three of you with maggie by his side.

"she got bit." rick runs a hand through his hair. you look to your side and spot carl, just staring blankly, his expression the same as when he first saw your bite just moments before. he was speechless, and afraid.

you held your arm tighter as the pain increased, blood seeping through in between your fingers as you clenched your jaw. your breathing was progressively getting more and more ragged and uneven the more you panicked.

"i don't want you to cut my arm off.." you protested, your voice high pitched and wobbly. you closed your eyes tightly, a few tears falling from your eyes.

"we have to." rick shook his head. "otherwise you'll become one of them."

"i don't care." you sobbed, gripping tighter and tighter onto your arm. "i can't do it. i probably wouldn't survive either way, we don't have proper stuff for it." you could tell it was difficult for them to understand what you were saying through your sobs. "i just want to wait it out."

rick eyes widen, along with everyone else who were crowded around you.

carl finally steps closer, grabbing your other hand tightly. you could spot tears falling from his eyes. "please, y/n. i'll be with you, it'll be okay. please i.. i can't lose you."

you looked up at him through your lashes, pressing your lips together. "i can't, carl. i can't."

...

they had moved you to one of the rooms in the church that had something you could lay on. they tied your wrist to a pole and stood in the room with you.

you could barely keep track of what was happening. you genuinely felt fine, besides the side effects from losing blood.

"can you wrap my arm up..?" you requested. the tickling feeling of your blood dripping down your arm becoming too much, and you also wanted to test if that was what was making you feel sick.

being immune wasn't even a thought in your head yet. but you were just creeped out about not having any of the same side effects that anybody else had when they'd gotten bit. you were sweating, but you weren't feverish, that's just how the weather always was.

"yes, of course." glenn grabbed a thing of gauze out of his bag, going up to you and carefully but tightly wrapping it around the bite. he also grabbed a nearby rag to wipe the access blood that had been dripping off of your arm.

"...thanks." you sighed, looking away from everyone.

they were all just staring, waiting for something to happen. but nothing was. the awkward silence and suspense was killing you. you saw the sun starting to come up through the window, which means it had been quite a few hours since you had gotten bit.

you've seen people last a day, maybe the tiniest bit over a day, but you noticed that they always had obvious symptoms by now. and you still didn't.

you blew a raspberry, looking around the room. ".. i don't feel anything."

"what?" carl squinted in confusion, his voice still a bit brittle from crying. "like, you're numb?"

"no, like.. i don't feel any symptoms of turning." you laughed at how idiotic your sentence probably sounded to everyone.

"so, you're saying you're immune?" carls voice changed from being upset to just pure confusion.

"i don't know." you shrugged, tapping your foot on the hardwood floors. "i seriously don't know what's going on. the only time i felt sick was when it first happened and i saw my blood dripping. i feel fine right now, a little lightheaded, but i think thats from the bloodloss."

"look, theres no such thing as being 'immune.'" rick shook his head at your statement. "it might just be.. taking a while to settle in."

"dad, can you have a little faith?" carl turned to rick, glaring slightly at him before turning back at you. "i believe you."

everyone else seemed really skeptical about what was happening, exchanging confused looks with one another.

"we'll keep her in here for a little while, alright? if she still doesn't feel anything by tonight, then we'll untie her." rick sighed, looking down at you. you had been with everyone since the start, being there when carl reunited with rick and everything, so you could sense everyones panic when they first saw you get bit. and now, you could sense their pure confusion. people in our group have gotten bit before, but they'd show signs almost immediately.

"i can stay with her if you guys want to leave." carl said, sitting down right next to you. "i'll let you know if anything happens."

everyone agreed and left the room.

you laughed to yourself, looking over at the door.

"are you okay?" carl asks, looking at you anxiously.

"i'm fine." you turned your head over to look at him. "this is just so fucking weird. and we don't even know where bob went. i'm so confused right now. nothing is making sense." you let out another light laugh, shaking your head in honestly disbelief.

"maybe you're the chosen one." carl laughs, smiling at you. "i really hope you're being honest. i.. i don't think i can handle losing you."

you look at him with a lopsided smile, happy to hear how much he cared. "i wouldn't lie to you about this. i genuinely don't feel sick at all. i mean, i feel gross, but not in a 'i'm dying' way. more in a 'i just got my arm bitten into' way." you tried to make light of the situation, despite being terrified. carls expression stayed a bit worried. "..sorry, not funny. i don't want to lose you either carl. you're the best thing to ever happen to me, you know?"

his concern turned into a smile at your words. he leaned forward and hugged you tightly. all you could do was put your hand on his back, due to your other hand being tied up still.

"i love you." he mumbles into your shoulder.

you laugh, leaning your head on top of his. "i love you too."

...

a while passed, yet you still felt perfectly fine. your arm felt odd though, of course. you had been bitten into after all.

carl stayed by your side, telling you stories and just conversing with you to keep your mind and his off of the whole situation while everyone was out searching for bob.

you moved your arm up to your tied up one, itching at your tight bandages. “i want these off…” you dramatically complained.

“we should probably check on your arm anyways. even if you feel fine, there could still be something messed up with your arm.” carl says as he rotates his body towards your arm, carefully untying your arm looking at you for permission.

you nod, and he proceeds to take the bandage off. the teeth marks had dark bruises and dried blood around them, and your veins were darker and more apparent around the bite. it looked unreal.

you quickly looked away from the wound, shuddering. “holy shit.” you closed your eyes tightly.

you could hear carl stumble over his words as he tried to figure out what to say. “i… it… is it supposed to- um.. look like that?” he let out a nervous laugh, moving his hand to comfort yours.

you returned the nervous laugh, looking back at the bite momentarily. "i don't- i don't think so?"

your body was violently shaking, unsure what to do or what was going on. would you still need to cut your arm off? or would it still be fine, despite looking like that? you knew that you'd have to hide your arm for.. well, ever, if you decided not to cut your arm off. it could cause so many different issues if people outside of your group found out.

carl proceeded to grab anything he could find to clean your wound, as well as new bandages. you two sat in silence as he carefully cleaned your arm, the only sound being your light winces of pain as he applied the antibacterial ointment he luckily found.

he wrapped your arm back up and planted a quick, soft kiss onto your bandaged wound, looking back up at your flustered face with a smile afterward.

your face was hot, and you quickly averted your eyes away from his out of embarrassment.

he put his hand on your cheek and kissed your forehead, then pulled you into a hug right after. "i'm so glad you're okay."

you were shocked, but let out a flustered giggle before returning the hug. "thank you.." your smile kept growing and growing. then, the words "i love you." finally left your mouth.

he broke the hug and looked at you shocked, but then his big smile came back. "i love you, too, angel."

─────────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────────────────────

[darylbae]

Daryl and breath play <3

Imagine him choking you out from behind as he roughly fucks up into you after you fucked up yet *another* resource run; drool running down your chin as you babble incoherently as his thick cock splits you open so wonderfully!

there ain't no god here — daryl dixon🩰

in which you mess up on a run, and daryl has had enough

note: SMUT WARNING! do not consume this content if you are under the age of 18, i am not liable for you reading past this point.

warnings: rough sex, dirty talk, bad writing.

You and Daryl have never had a nice relationship. From the moment the pair of you met, you'd been at each other's throats. Always arguing, always antagonizing each other, but there was something sizzling between the two of you. Which neither of you had noticed. Maggie said it first. When you'd all turned up to the farm, she'd asked you if the two of you were a thing, to which you laughed in her face. "As if I'd let Daryl put his hands on me," you exclaimed. "Dream on, girl," he'd call out as he passed the two of you outside. When the farm had been lost and you'd all found the prison, the two of you were incessant on arguing. It was just a constant cat fight between the two of you. Glenn had even made a comment about it feeling 'weirdly sexual'. Rick had learned to keep you apart, for the sake and sanity of the group. He was surprised you'd made it this far without physically fighting or fucking. The long winter on the road, hunting in the woods, finally finding Alexandria, you two just never clicked. It had even become a game of sorts, to inconvenience the other one, to push them just that little bit off the edge. The two of you were so caught up in this game of riling up the other, that people within the community were beginning to assume there was a spark between you. And Daryl heard none of it, until Spencer had approached him once. "Hey," he spoke awkwardly, too afraid to look at the archer who was aggressively buffing his crossbow with a cloth. "What." Daryl grumbled, not even bothering to look up from his weapon. He could tell by the lanky figure it was Spencer. "I, uh," Spencer was rambling, unable to get to his point, "I wanted to know if anything was going on between you and Y/N." "Why do you care?" "I was gonna ask her out, well, I was gonna ask her over for dinner. There's not much in the way of dating anymore." Spencer faltered, looking anywhere except at Daryl. "But I didn't know if there was actually a thing between you two, so I thought I should ask instead of listening to rumors." Daryl finally stopped fussing his crossbow. "Why would I care? Do what you want with 'er." Just as Spencer had retreated down the porch steps, Daryl had immediately regret what he'd said. But why? You frustrated him to his core, you got under his skin, you knew just how to make him tick. And he hated it, at least he thought he did. All he used to worry about were walkers. Now, they'd been pushed to the back burner of his mind. He's been so swept up in this little back and forth with you, that he'd forgotten how terrible the world was for a moment. Did he really care about the thought of you spending time with another guy?

Daryl had watched in dismay as you spent less time winding him up, and more time walking the streets with Spencer. It was almost as if you were riling him up by walking past the porch he'd sit on. It was jealousy, and almost a sick possession to want you all to himself. You, unbeknownst to Daryl, had no interest in Spencer. You spoke to him and spent time with him purely as a friend and to make connections within the community. So when you'd been sent on a run with Daryl, it felt nice to not have to play a part anymore. To just be around someone you were yourself with. Of course you cared about Daryl enough to not see him get killed, but the two of you have always been at each other's throats. That was kind of your thing. "We taking a car?" You asked Rick, folding your arms as you stood beside Michonne. It was supposed to be the four of you, but Deanna wanted to see Michonne and Rick. "My bike." Daryl retorted. "I suppose it makes it easier to throw myself off," you reasoned, scowling at Daryl, and you could see Michonne chuckle into her hand. "Please," Daryl bit back, striding towards his bike, "gives me a break from you." You had your arms around Daryl, holding on tightly as you sped down a long, narrow road. The wind whipped your hair into your face, and every time you felt inclined to swipe it away, Daryl made sure both of your hands were around him. He'd gripped your hand and forced it back onto his waist as you tried to smooth your hair down. When you'd gotten to a small town outside of the area, Daryl dismounted and helped you off the bike. It was the least he could do. You did your usual sweep of each store, and taking the stock you needed, occasionally being annoying and getting a series of grunts in return. "Didn't ya ever learn to shut up?" He spat, waving you off as he entered another aisle. You rolled your eyes, shoving stuff into the backpack you'd brought along. "Didn't you ever learn to treat women nicely?" You had aggravated him the entire run. Instead of moving things out the way so both of you could pass, you'd just climb over it and let Daryl deal with it himself. Instead of listening to him, you'd go off and do exactly what you wanted to. Daryl felt like a babysitter. "Surprised Spencer puts up with ya." Daryl mumbled, shining a flashlight into a dark back room, only to find dead walkers and upturned furniture. "Excuse me?" "Ya heard me, girl." "Spencer doesn't have to put up with anything." You remarked, folding your arms. "So it's just me then? Ya annoy me and not ya own damn boyfriend!" Daryl's voice grew louder, the two of you so caught up in arguing that you'd almost forgotten the dead were out to get you. "Spencer's not my boyfriend!" Oh, Daryl thought. His heart lifted for a moment, until he'd seen a walker come out of the room behind you. Without hesitation, he shot an arrow through it's skull, and watched as you caught your breath. "Get in 'ere." Daryl demanded, grabbing your hand and leading you into a vacant bathroom. "Always messin' up the damn thing." "What?" You answered, voice small and still shaking with fear. You'd never come that close to death before. A walkers hands had grabbed your shoulders, it's teeth mere inches away from you. "Why don't ya listen to me, huh?" He whisper-yelled, his grip still firm on your hand. "Always runnin' off and doin' what ya want. Ya need manners, girl." "I need manners? When have you ever said a nice word to me? When have you ever thought about me in any positive way?" Daryl paused, was it the time for this?

"Every fuckin' day. Every mornin', every night. Every damn time I see ya, I can't not think about ya." Daryl admitted, frustration still laced in his voice. "All ya do is drive me insane." Both of you were breathing heavily, tension still clouding the air in this very small bathroom. You were almost chest to chest with the little space available in here. Daryl was thinking with the recently unlocked part of his brain that just contained you. Every glance he'd ever sent your way, every time he'd seen you stretch and show the hem of your underwear, every time he'd look down at you and see those innocent eyes staring back up at him. There was nothing that felt as right as this. His lips were on yours, and you'd moved against his like you'd done it regularly. Hell, you thought about it at times. When you were lonely in your cell, in your room in Alexandria, the hatred went hand in hand with passion, and you were so overfilled with lust that it had all blurred into one. Every bitter word the two of you threw at each other, it fueled the fire that you were both burning in now. He'd gripped at the clothes he wanted gone, and you'd silently obey him. His calloused hands swiped over your neck, and it had awoken a side of you that was powered off when the world ended. "Oh, you like that, huh?" He asked, his voice no longer containing it's usual gruffness. It was whiny, almost poking fun at how you were putty in his hands. You just sighed in response, giving up any self control you had. It was all his now, to do with it as he pleased. "Gotta teach ya a lesson, girl," he breathed into your ear, hands on your shoulders and spinning you round the other way. You hadn't realized the mirror facing you, your tinged cheeks and sleepy eyes clouded over with lust.

Daryl's lips grazed the curve of your neck, daring to place a kiss on your soft, pure skin. He wanted to toy with you, like you did with him every day. Sauntering around, giving looks you'd only give to him, leaving him to deal with his hard-on in the middle of the night. "Ya gonna listen to me now, hm." You could feel his hands gliding closer to the inside of your thigh, heat burning between your legs. You didn't just want it, you needed it. You arched your back into him, rubbing against whatever you could. Needed the friction, the look in your eyes almost primal. Daryl smirked at you in the mirror, holding your gaze as he spat on his hand. Your fingers squeezed the counter as he slid into you, the two of you completely in sync as you moaned out for each other. The feeling purely nostalgic. "God," you cried, your eyebrows knitted together and your lip quivering. "There ain't no God here, girl, just me." One of his hands gripped your thigh as rammed into you, jerking your hip bones into the counter. If you weren't so wrapped up in Daryl, it would ache. But you couldn't stop, not even to readjust, you needed Daryl to carry you to your high. His other hand snaked up your body, sensually rubbing at your breasts, of which he'd caught glimpses of for years. Finally seeing them felt... satisfying. All the times you'd fiddle with your shirt, exposing them just barely, and Daryl would have to be a gentleman and look away. His hand finally reached your neck and he'd gripped both sides with his fingers and thumb. He'd peered at you through the mirror, catching the whites of your eyes as you rolled them back. Seeing how delighted you looked, it made him feel good. He knew just how to make you tick. "Ya gonna do as I say from now on," he breathed, squeezing tighter on your throat, "you're all mine, girl." "Yeah," you croaked, Daryl's grip on your throat and him inside of you rendered you unable to speak, you were just allowing him to do whatever he wanted. "All yours." He'd suddenly stopped and you whimpered at the loss of contact. Daryl had turned you around again, hooking his arms under your ass and lifting you onto the counter. "Wanna see that pretty face." He'd entered you again, filling you up and you were back to seeing stars as he pumped into you. His grunts and moans were close to sending you over the edge. His hand found your throat again, squeezing on the familiar spot and Daryl's eyes flickered to your breasts as the bounced with every thrust. They were entrancing. He was close to finishing, but he wanted to savor this moment. He wanted this, you, over and over again. He could see the drool escaping your lips and running down your chin, some dropping onto your breasts. He almost finished at the sight of it all. "Let go for me, girl." He moaned, bringing you closer to him for the final few thrusts. "Come on. Good girl." Your body took over, sending you over the edge and quivering on him. Daryl held your body tight, careful not to let you go. His rhythm had gotten sloppier, he couldn't hold it, just knowing this was all with you, all for you, he let go himself and caught your gaze as he did so. There was nothing he'd change about this, the tiny bathroom, the argument beforehand, the relationship the two of you had before. It all led to this, and he'd do it again. Exactly the same.

[crescenthistory]

Ask: hi, could you write something about barty with the prompt c5. ("there will not be a day where i am not there for you") like he receives a letter from his dad and u can tell something is off ab him and comfort him ? thank youu

Words: 1.4k

Warnings/tags: gn!reader, implied mental health struggles on barty's front, barty isolating himself, hurt/comfort, romanian!barty, general fluff and unconditional love

Note: this request is super old, i'm terribly sorry lmao, but better late than never? barty deserves all the love<33

You had not seen Barty in 5 hours.

Considering that the boy usually seemed to be attached to you by some invisible 5 metres rope, you were growing increasingly concerned. Your poor cheeks were being gnawed off at record speed, and you knew he would chide you for “maiming his lover” later, but you had other priorities at the moment.

Between your last two lessons, he had slipped off down some hallway and never returned. You paid it little mind to begin with, Barty often ran off on spontaneous, perhaps reckless adventures. It was in the whole school’s best interest to just let him, saving all your questions for when he comes back, demanding stories of his grand escapades – because he always came back to your side quickly. 

When he didn’t show up for dinner, your worry thus began to settle despite your trying to fight it. Sometimes he did skip dinner for an array of different reasons, but he always notified you. Throughout the meal your thoughts wandered off, all yearning for him, but you knew how much he would scold you if he found out you skipped dinner for him.

You would hold it against him, if he was not the first person to admit he was being a hypocrite.

You clung onto hope that you would find him in his common room or his dorm afterwards. When you opened the door to his dorm only to be met with their shared snake, Nova, as the only living being in the room, you finally allowed yourself to give in and accept defeat.

Barty was missing and you were worried.

Behind you, the tell-tale sounds of Regulus’ dance-like steps alerted you to his incoming presence. “Reg,” you said, poking your head out to catch his attention. “Barty hasn’t told you where he’s off to?”

Regulus gave you a bit of an odd look as he passed you in the doorway. “Does he ever?”

You gave him a look that hopefully said yeah, that’s fair before you straightened up once more. “Will you tell me if you see him?”

“If I see him, he’ll be here.” Regulus was clearly not in one of his more chatty moods. This time you gave him a look you knew said play nice. He sighed. “I’ll let you know, yeah. I’ll ask Evan too, when he gets here.”

You gave him a rueful smile. “Thank you Reggie, this is why you’re my favourite.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled as he laid down on his bed to read. You had enough wits about you to close the door before you left, not wanting a stinging curse to be thrown after you down the hallway and doubly not wanting Barty to get revenge on Regulus for doing so. He always found out somehow.

This was not Barty’s first time disappearing, nor did you suspect it would be his last. You usually had a list of reasons why he might run off and places to look for him if he did.

Had he been in a particularly jittery or theatrical mood, you would have been worse off, as he quite literally could be anywhere where he might cause the most damage and drama. Usually you would begin in Gryffindor or the Care for Magical Creatures classroom, but thankfully you did not have to resort to those measures.

Because Barty had been in a very distinctive restrained mood that only you and a select few of his friends ever seemed to be able to decipher. When you first met him, you thought that mood meant he was annoyed somehow – now you knew that when Barty was truly irritated, he grinned like a maniac. 

This almost stoicness meant only one thing; Barty was feeling vulnerable. Maybe even defeated.

Which quickly limited his hiding spots to places where he could grasp at some privacy without feeling trapped. Considering that the last time he tried to hide away in the prefect’s bathroom, he got caught by none other than James Potter, the poor sod, you narrowed your best bet down to the Astronomy Tower.

Led by a gut instinct and a mouthful of compassion, you scurried up the hundreds of steps needed, hoping to find him and not accidentally stumble in on some awkward attempt at a date between some fourth years.

When you tried to turn the handle to the Astronomy Tower’s door only to find it to be magically locked, you knew you were right in your judgement.

“Barty? Are you in there, love, it’s me?” you called through the door, aiming at making your voice as steady as possible. He hated being treated like he was fragile, at least before he was curled up in your arms.

The faint buzzing sound in your ears alerted you to the fact that he had thrown a muffliato over the room, meaning you wouldn’t hear him if he replied. He could still hear you, though, so you tried your luck further.

“It’s alright, B. I’m here.” You hoped to Merlin he could hear the love and reassurance dripping from your words.

The whirring sound was interrupted by a faint click as the lock was opened. Taking extra precautions, you looked behind you to ensure you would be alone and slipped in through the door, locking it behind you once more without looking.

Fresh air filled your lungs the second you stepped into the tower – one of the reasons why it was such a great place to escape to when feeling anxious or down or both. Your heart was similarly filled when you saw Barty sitting in a large windowsill with his knees pulled up to his chest, staring out with an empty gaze.

“Hi there, lovely,” you said rather cheerily, making your relaxed state penetrate the atmosphere of doom that followed Barty on these days.

You walked over and went to lift yourself up into the windowsill, only for Barty to break free of his trance for a moment to take your hand and elbow and help you navigate carefully until you were seated across from him, legs entangling with his own. He let out a breath. “Hi, Dragă.”

You smiled carefully at him, settling into your place and letting the cold from the window seep in through your clothes without a bother. You leaned forward so your body was bent in half to rest your chin on his propped up knees, giving you a perfectly clear vision of his face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want you to have to talk about it.”

Barty always did that when something was wrong – denying you of any responsibility or option to help, assuming it was below you to do so. After a few years attached at the hip, he had learned he could not make you “realise you should leave his arse”, but he would still aim to shield you from himself on these days.

Other days, he would do anything to make you not realise, desperate to claw you to himself. A boy that contained multitudes, each one equally lovable in your opinion, to which he called you horribly insane. 

“At least we’ve got that in common, babe.”

“I don’t have to do anything,” you reassured quietly, chin moving against his kneecaps. “I really do want to, though. Be there for you, I mean.”

His gaze met yours, softening at the authenticity and affection surely plastered all over your face. He brought a previously dead hand up from beside him to stroke his knuckles over your left cheek, moving them backwards into your hair. “You always are, aren’t you?”

You let your smile widen at him embracing your care. “There will not be a day where I am not here for you, B. Whether you want me to or not.”

His eyes flickered with a vulnerability only you ever saw. The next thing he said was so meek that you almost didn’t catch it, but flowers bloomed in your stomach when you did. “I want you to.”

You reached your own hand up to catch his in your hair and brought the inside of his wrist towards your mouth to press slow, gentle kisses to it. “I’m glad, lovely. Now spill.”

[cressidagrey]

You are the best thing that's ever been mine - Part 1

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Ariel Cane (Original Character)

Summary: Sao Paulo 2024. The Dutchman delivered a defining drive…but maybe there is a relationship that could also use some defining. 

Warnings: Jos Verstappen, angst, crying, mention of pregnancy, mention of sex and sexual acts, physical confrontation

Author Notes: Hi, hey, hello! Apparently I write F1 Fanfiction now?! Also this is the first time I am trying a social media au so my Canva Skills were put to the test. (Disclaimer: I kinda put legibility over authencity, so twitter doesn't look like twitter and messages looks like...something) Also huge thanks to @onebigfangirlworld and @leodette for holding my hand with this 😘)

Nothing was more dangerous than Max Verstappen when he had a point to prove.

Ariel Cane was very much aware of that.

That’s what she got for working with the man for 5 years.

Max Verstappen was a force to be reckoned with. He was known for his raw determination and relentless drive to win. And when he had a point to prove, he was practically unstoppable.

Max was a man who was always on top of his game when he had something to prove, and Ariel had firsthand experience of that after working with him for so long. She knew better than anyone what he was capable of when he was determined.

It was as if his already-ferocious drive to win kicked into hyperdrive.

The Brazilian Grand Prix was set to take place at the Autódromo José Carlos Pace…but Sao Paulo greeted the day with grey skies looming. The weather forecast promised a downpour.

For some drivers, rain could be a unwelcome disruption to the norm, but for Max… it seemed to only fuel his competitive fire.

Ariel was dreading it. Her stomach was churning if she only thought about the impending rain. 

She knew all too well how Max thrived in wet conditions. The press had even dubbed him the rainmaster, but for Ariel…it was a nightmare. 

Her brain conjured up one nightmarish scenario after the other. Anything could happen on a wet track, especially when the conditions were unpredictable, even when Max had always managed to shine in the rain. 

Ariel had seen Max race in every condition, and he had always come out on top. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was going to go wrong today.

She could feel it somewhere deep in his bones. 

Ariel kept her mouth shut though. This wasn’t something that she was going to tell Max. He had plenty of other things to worry about without adding her own unfound anxieties to the mix. He didn’t need her to distract him. 

Max was a professional, and he had trained and prepared for this race just like he did for every other one. 

He was capable of handling anything that came his way, even a wet track.

He knew what he was doing.

She repeated the words again and again in her own mind. Max knew what he was doing. Max was going to be just fine. 

He was already in a focused state, trying to get in the zone for the race, pouring over the race data, analyzing every possible scenario. The intensity in his eyes was evident. 

Still… Ariel’s anxiety was through the roof, her stomach churning… not helped by the fact that Jos Verstappen had shown up for race day.

She knew why. It had been Max’s longest non winning streak in years… 

His father always managed to put Ariel on edge.

Mostly because Ariel fucking despised him.

Jos Verstappen had molded his son into the champion he was. But he also had been the shittiest father in existence during Max’s childhood.

Ariel knew too much about the toxic relationship between father and son. 

Jos always seemed to push Max beyond his limits. And then Azriel was left to pick up the pieces afterwards. 

Jos  could be credited with helping to shape his son into the champion he had become, but there  was no denying that he had been a terrible father while doing just that. He had imposed his own ambitions on Max, pushing him relentlessly to achieve success at all costs, and had been emotionally distant and aloof during his childhood.

Max had grown up in a home where perfection was expected and praise was minimal. He had developed a fierce determination and a steely focus that drove him to the top of his sport… but he also carried a deep-seated vulnerability and a constant need to prove himself.

And that vulnerability…that was what Jos knew how to exploit.

 He would use every chance he got to put additional pressure on Max, reminding him of his failures and pushing him to do better, even if it hurt Max. 

Jos Verstappen was a man who cared very deeply about his son's success, but he cared little for his happiness. He saw Max's professional success as a reflection of his own status and reputation, and he had a tendency to prioritize this above all else.

It was a toxic relationship at best, and a traumatic one at worst. 

And Ariel hated him. 

She had never hated a person as much as she hated Max’s father, but she hated him. 

Ariel Cane hated Jos Verstappen. She was pretty sure it was mutual too. 

It was probably because she had been Max’s choice and not his father’s.

Max had been the one she had met during her internship in Red Bulls PR department…and Max was the one who had offered her a job as his Personal Assistant out of the blue.

You are the best and I deserve the best, he had told her flatly. And that had been that. She would have been stupid not to accept the job offer. Especially with the salary it came with. 

That decision had not sat well with his father. And when Max had ignored his wishes and hired her anyway, it had only fueled Jos' animosity toward her.

She was an outsider, an unknown factor, and nothing that Jos could control. He saw his influence slip.

And Ariel knew that she could influence Max in a thousand different ways, simply by telling him her thoughts. He would take them into consideration, they both knew that.  Jos saw her as a threat to his control and influence, and he had tried his best to undermine her since the day they met.

Max had never let him.

Max trusted Ariel’s insights more than anyone else’s, and he had always been vocal about that. This had only fueled Jos’s dislike for her, and he had made no secret out of his disapproval of their friendship.

Ariel never wanted to be the one to come between father and son. 

But she was also never going to agree with Jos Verstappen about a single thing.

Her first priority was always going to be Max’s happiness. Everything else came a distant second to her. 

He had already won 3 world championships. Did he deserve another 10 of them as far as she was concerned? Yes. Would she be happy for him if he decided to give up racing tomorrow and become a full time cat dad to Sassy and Jimmy? Also yes. 

As long as racing made him happy she would always support his strive to success. But she was never going to use his vulnerabilities to push him to the brink and that was seemingly everything his father did. 

Maybe he knew that. Maybe that was why their friendship had grown stronger with time. 

They trusted each other implicitly, and with that came a level of honesty and intimacy that Max’s father could never understand or appreciate. As Max and Ariel's bond grew stronger, it only seemed to enrage Jos even more. He saw his influence over his son slowly slipping away, replaced by trust and loyalty that he could never have anticipated.

“Are you alright? You look pale.”

Max's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she blinked, realising she had been lost in her reflections. She turned to look at him, noticing the slight concern in his blue, blue eyes. 

“I am a redhead,” she deadpanned. Her skin was always pale. Pale and freckled. 

But Max knew her so well. Too well sometimes.

She knew that he wasn’t going to go for it. And she was right. 

"That's not what I meant," he said, frowning slightly. "You looked like you were about to throw up or something."

She had been feeling pretty nauseous all morning, but she wasn’t about to tell him that.

Ariel was pretty sure that something had been wrong with her dinner last night to be honest… it was probably a case of light food poisoning or something. 

But quite frankly, as long as she wasn’t keeling over dead, there was no way that she was going to leave Max alone with his father at this race right now. 

"I'm fine," she assured him, forcing a smile. "Just a bit tired, that's all. Good luck,” she told him. “But you won’t need it.”

He snorted. “I am starting from P17. I need all the luck I can get,” Max responded, brushing a hand through his blonde hair. 

"You don't need luck," she said, rolling her eyes at his comment. "You're Max Verstappen. You make your own luck."

Max smirked at her words, a flicker of his usual confidence flashing in his eyes. "Damn right, I do."

She managed a smile for him, watching as last minutes preparation were made, before Max settled into his car for the race. 

Ariel couldn’t help herself as her fingers went to the small lion pendant she always wore around her neck. 

That necklace…It was her lucky charm, a gift from Max himself.

A lion. Because the name Ariel meant lion.

In Ariel’s mind, it had never been for that.  Instead the charm stood for the Dutch Lion himself. For Max. The Dutch Lion, the one who ruled the racing world with his talent and drive.

The race started. 

 It was a chaotic start, with cars moving all over the field. Max had a lot of ground to cover, starting from P17, and she knew it would take a lot of skill and determination to get him up into the top positions.

Despite the chaos of the race, Max always seemed to be in complete control, navigating the field with ease. He was so skilled, and yet the risks he was taking…it was hard to watch without any concern.

In 10 laps he had already moved up 10 places.

And then… the rain started.

Instantly, the racing conditions changed dramatically. The water on the track made it slippery and dangerous, and the visibility dropped significantly. Azriel’s heart was in her throat, and her stomach was roiling with nausea.

Bile was rising in her throat and she went through her bag, searching for the peppermints she kept in there.

“You good?” Connor, one of the engineers asked her. He was watching her with a concerned expression on his face. 

“I’m fine,” Azriel assured him, although her voice was strained. “Just nauseous.”

As the race continued in the pouring rain, Ariel felt her nausea worsen. She was struggling to keep herself together, and every time there was a close call or a risky maneuver, her stomach clenched in anxiety.

Connor noticed the way she was holding her stomach and the pale look on her face, and he leaned in closer to her. “You don’t look fine,” he said, his voice firm. “You should go to the medic. Percy is going to have my head if he finds out otherwise.“

Percy. Her older brother. He was the oldest of the three Cane siblings. Three years older than Ariel. And then there was Emma, the youngest. 5 years younger than Ariel, 8 years younger than Percy. 

When their father had died 10 years ago, Ariel had been 18, Percy had been 21…and Emma had just been 13. It had come just 5 years after they had lost their mother. To this day, Ariel still thought that their father had died from a broken heart. 

Percy had been right at the tail end of his first PhD… he had returned to Milton Keynes and started working for Redbull as an electrical Engineer. Ariel had gone to the University of Bedfordshire so she could stay near home…and somehow together, Percy and Ariel had managed to raise their little sister into a functioning member of society. 

Ariel couldn’t help but quirk up a corner of her lip at Connor’s mention of her brother. “Nah, he’ll forget all about it as soon as he has a new project,” she quipped. 

Percy was the genius of them. And genius and madness were occasionally quite close together.

Connor smirked, used to her sense of humor. “Not a chance.  That man is smart enough to multitask.”

Also smart enough to ruin somebody’s life, and do engineering tasks that absolutely baffled her and most of the world’s population… but also definitely not smart enough to pick up on the fact that Connor had been flirting with him for the better part of three years. 

Ariel was close to get Emma to help her hold their brother down to get him to listen to them. 

 Then Connor’s expression grew more serious. “Seriously, though, you don’t look too good. Go to the medic.”

Ariel rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but feel touched by his concern. "I am fine," she insisted. "It's just some nausea."

She should have fucking kept her mouth shut. If she had known what kind of drama she would absolutely kick loose with that comment, she would have shut up. 

The next thing Ariel knew, she had a bloody furious Jos Verstappen in front of her, appearing out of nowhere, barging into their conversation with a look of pure disgust on his face.

"Did he knock you up?" Jos demanded.

Ariel could just stare at him, her mouth open. 

What? 

There was a shocked silence as Jos' words rang out in the garage. Everyone in the vicinity froze, staring at the Dutchman with wide eyes. Nobody was expecting that.

Least of all Ariel. 

Of course, there had been plenty of speculation and some people outright asking her or Max if they were a couple over the years, but the answer had always been a resounding no. 

They were working together…they were friends. Neither of them had ever..crossed that particular line. 

She had never even allowed herself to think about it either. 

But nobody had ever accused her off…this. 

Ariel was just… stunned. 

Ariel’s mind raced, trying to comprehend what he had just asked. It sounded so absurd, so out of left field, that she couldn’t help but stare at him in disbelief.

Quite frankly, her job kept her too busy for a relationship and the last time she had had sex had been… what, a year ago? She definitely was not pregnant. 

And she also definitely was not pregnant with Max’s baby. 

Jos Verstappen stood in front of her, his face etched with anger.

“Did he knock you up?” He repeated himself.

Ariel could only gape at him, her mind refusing to process what he was asking.  “Excuse me?” she managed to croak out.

Jos loomed over her, his eyes narrowing. "You heard me," he growled. "Did Max knock you up?"

Jos stepped closer to her, invading her personal space. "You're nauseous," he said, his voice sharp.  "In the morning. I knew that my son is a useless idiot, but this takes the cake," Jos seethed.

Jos' harsh words cut through the air like a knife, each syllable dripping with contempt. The anger in his voice was palpable as he continued his tirade.

"He couldn't just focus on racing and his career," he spat. "No. He had to go and knock up the PA. I shouldn't have expected any different from you either."

He took a step closer, invading her personal space even further.

"You," he sneered. "You're just as much to blame in this mess. You're supposed to be his minder, keep him focused on racing, and what do you do? You go and throw yourself at him. I knew you were a bad influence from the start!"

The words stung like a slap, and she could feel her cheeks burning. 

"Don’t try to deny it," he spat. "I saw the way you two look at each other, I know it’s been going on for a while. You’re nothing but a distraction, a waste of his time and talent. What was it, the glory of throwing yourself at a 3-time world champion? Or was it the money? You are a gold-digging whore!"

It wasn't funny. It really wasn't funny. But it was so utterly ridiculous...that the laugh burst out of her mouth before Ariel could stop it.

He slapped her.

The blow left her reeling, both physically and emotionally. She stumbled back a step, tears blurring her vision as the pain and shock coursed through her.

For a moment everybody was frozen, everybody watching the scene in front of them with a mix of horror and disbelief.

Her cheek throbbed.

The nausea won. She vomited, all over his shoes.

The retching sound echoed through the garage as she doubled over, the contents of her stomach emptying onto the pristine floor.

But somehow that unfroze everybody. Connor grabbed Jos and dragged him away from her harshly.

"What the hell is wrong with you, man?!” Connor snapped. His voice was filled with anger, and he was practically shaking with fury.

Meanwhile, Bennett, one of the mechanics, rushed to her side. He was as white as a sheet, but his voice was steady as he put a protective arm around her shoulders.

“Ariel, are you alright?” he asked her, gently.

"I'm..." she started to say, but another wave of nausea swept through her. She doubled over again, her body heaving in the aftermath.

Meanwhile in the front, absolute chaos had erupted. She could hear Connor facing off against Jos, and then Christian's loud voice and…

"...get out of here, right now. Don’t even fucking look back." Christian finished firmly.

"You're making a mistake," Jos countered, his voice filled with anger. "This girl is a distraction, a waste of Max's time and talent. I saw it from the start-"

But his words were cut off by a sharp gesture from Christian.

"I don't care," he snapped. "You just laid your hands on a staff member. You just laid your hands on Ariel! If Max was here right now, we would probably need to carry you out of here on a fucking stretcher!” Jos glared at Christian, but the team principal wasn't backing down.

"You just fucked up big time. You're out," he continued, his voice cold. "You're no longer welcome here. Get your stuff and get the hell out."

For a moment, it looked like Jos was going to argue, to snap back at Christian and continue the argument. But then he seemed to realize the futility of it all. With a sneer, he turned on his heel and stalked off, leaving the garage in shocked silence.

"Jesus Christ," Connor breathed, as he came back to her side. "Ariel, are you alright? Let’s get you to the medic."

She could only nod weakly, the nausea slowly subsiding but the pain in her cheek throbbing.

"No, no, everything is fine. Something just fell down," she could hear GP's voice through the whole tumult.

Talking to Max. Who was in the middle of a bloody race.

And who must at least have caught some of the screaming going on.

Next Part

[woodlandwrites]

husband!percy jackson

the lovely @buenolover suggested this!!

this is so unedited but I was feeling frisky and needed to write something - might do a pt. 2 !!

༄ if you think percy is #boyfriendmaterial you’re wrong!

༄ this man is 1000% husband material

༄ okay so I imagine you both being demigods and start dating - everyone at chb is like omg they are my parents

༄ I think it started out as a friendship but really turned into more - especially when you caught him in the kitchens after hours with a younger camper making blueberry pancakes

༄ the young camper had a nightmare and percy decided to cheer them up (he’d experienced plenty of bad nightmares himself)

༄ that’s what kind of started your relationship because you thought it was really showed who percy was - a empathetic kind and beautiful soul

༄ poseidon didn’t deserve him

༄ percy would quite literally take a bullet for you - no he would jump into tartarus for you - no he would sell his soul for you

༄ he would actually spend an hour telling you different brutal ways he’d die for you - it’s his love language

༄ I feel like the wedding would be verrrrry low key (on the beach ofc!)

༄ after you say your vows and kiss you both run and jump into the water - cause y’all are cute or whateva

༄ the blue food is definitely a staple at your wedding

༄ I can see the both of you living in the cabin on the beach in montauk together

༄ tangled in the sheets waking up to the sounds of waves and percy’s incredibly loud snoring

༄ percy lovessss to take you into the sea - it’s like showing you his soul in a way - he adores you so much the sea seems to calm whenever you are near him

༄ sea creatures love to come a visit you!! they actually end up liking you more than percy

༄ speaking of which - you are now sally’s favorite child - sorry percy

༄ sally is quite literally the best mom on the planet and always you both the check in

༄ I also think sally adores you because she finally is able to see percy happy - not worried about the next quest that inevitably will scar him more

༄ percy isn’t perfect though! he is very sloppy and spills almost everything - he also won’t wash dishes to save his life

༄ not that he won’t he just forgets a lot

༄ percy snores and has terrible rls which is why you end up nudging him in the back at 2 am

༄ however - you wouldn’t want it any other way.

༄ percy is thoughtful as FUCK!! oh you like that? I’ll buy ten. oh that’s your favorite color - let me buy everything that color in existence.

༄ one night it was storming heavily and percy hadn’t come home yet - which had you worried!!

༄ that was until he came home drenched with a fistful of your favorite flowers. you had mentioned earlier how much you loved them - percy couldn’t let his girl NOT have her favorite flowers right?

༄ he caught a cold after that

༄ percy loves having late night bonfires with you - staying up until the early hours just talking

༄ that’s the thing about percy - conversation was never dull

༄ slow dancing by the sea with only the moonlight shining

༄ family planning is hectic - percy wants to be a father but he worries so much about being a good father - he never wanted to be his father

༄ I feel like percy is like a pillow you flip over at night to the cool side - he is like that first dip in cold water during a summer day

༄ that’s why he’s so wonderful to snuggle with at night because you don’t overheat

༄ percy laughs at everything and is a very easy going husband to have - he never makes you feel less than perfect

༄ although you both have your flaws - you both work so perfectly together

[nightwngz]

Oh my beloved, here's a little idea for you!

'Am I the asshole for dating my best friend's ex?' Where Barry absolutely couldn't let slip the opportunity to have Hal's pretty ex for himself, well, she doesn't belong to him anymore right?

Like, he sees that she's so sad because of the breakup and he's just so nice, gentle, kind with her, why not give him a chance? Barry knows that it must sucks to not have someone to kiss :(((

— 𝓔𝐱 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 ✩!!

barry allen x fem!reader

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀… Smut. Dirty talk. Fingering, p in v.

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. . . no copying of my work is allowed. Free translation is allowed as long as I am credited.

𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲. . . as I said in my other posts, English is not my first language. I have tried to make corrections with the translator, but as you all know, it is prone to making mistakes, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or if anything sounds weird.

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲. . . Omg, omg! You practically read my mind because Barry is practically my current obsession. By the way, sorry for the delay, dear, I didn't quite know how to write it. 💗

Barry and Hal have always been best friends. They got along so well that even when you were dating Hal, it never occurred to you that Barry might betray his trust, not even if you suggested it yourself.

And after spending so much time going out with your friend and sharing dinners, lunches, and breakfasts, with a bit of a hangover in between, you started to think that Barry could also become a good friend for you.

Even after you broke up with Hal, Barry continued to stand by your side, supporting and indulging you.

Though you never suspected him of double-dealing, Barry remained neutral about your breakup. It's not that he didn't care about Hal; in fact, he had more than once questioned whether he was doing the wrong thing by approaching you, even after you and Hal had ended things.

But yes, he was a complete asshole for approaching you in the first place, and he was even more of an idiot for falling in love with his friend's girlfriend in the first place.

He had fantasized about Hal's girlfriend countless times, and many of those times he had to restrain the desire to touch himself by thinking of you, so as not to betray him.

But it wasn't until he saw you crying on the floor of your apartment with a bottle of alcohol in your hand that he realized you were no longer his best friend's girlfriend. The relationship had ended, and although you were still dealing with the aftermath of the breakup, there was nothing that alcohol and other distractions couldn't alleviate.

"Hal is my friend, but sometimes he can be a real jerk. Don't worry, if you need to vent, go ahead," he suggested, trying to be friendly.

However, when you took his lips without permission as a means of release, Barry neither objected nor resisted. He thought that given your situation, it must be terrible not to have anyone to kiss.

Sad thoughts about Hal vanished the moment Barry's tongue entered your mouth. Maybe it was just what you needed to forget, since not even he, as your ex's best friend, seemed to care what Hal might think, and even less so did you.

Barry had inevitably thought of Hal. He couldn’t help but remember his friend while his ex-girlfriend’s tongue slid into his mouth and he felt her hips moving until she was straddling his belt. However, he didn’t stop; in fact, the thought that she no longer belonged to him crossed his mind, which only drove him to continue.

It was too late to regret when he felt your hands sliding down his hips, pulling at his clothes. He couldn't resist pushing you onto your back, landing on top of you and pinning your body against the couch.

He kissed you desperately as if you were his last meal, holding you tight with his hands and his tongue on your mouth, exploring every inch of your skin that was still hidden under the fabric he hastily removed.

Even as he slid his fingers aside your underwear, without removing it completely, to enjoy caressing your wet crotch, he smiled. He knew he had what he so desperately wanted, like a whimsical child with his new toy.

"Did Hal miss out on all this? Too bad for him that now I have to take care of this tight pussy." He whispered in your ear with a grin, licking his fingers gently so you could hear the obscene sound close up.

And finally, when he got inside you so deeply that tears welled up in your eyes at the intrusion, you felt completely convinced that you had done the right thing by breaking up with Hal, something that Barry also agreed with. You smiled at the thought that he had taken advantage of the situation and looked at him, convinced that he had orchestrated the whole thing for his own benefit.

"Don't look at me like that, honey. It's not my fault that Hal missed how deliciously tight your pussy feels. . ."

[cookiescribble]

New In Town

A/N: hey there, to the anon that requested this, I lost your actual submission but I hope this lived up to expectation! I started writing this, forgot I started it, and then got sick but I tried my best haha, enjoy! Happy pride month! - mod ghost

p.s. sorry to mod angel, I definitely called her out in this fic lol 

You had only been at the BAU for about a week, but something about Spencer made you feel like a moth drawn to a flame, as cliche as that might be. Sometimes, you’d catch yourself staring at him during briefings or even just sitting at your respective desks. Watching the way his hands would move over pages as he tore his way through books. His reading speed always amazed you, and you wondered how he actually retained any of the information he was taking in. Yesterday, he’d caught your gaze, making eye contact with you and giving you a polite grin before returning back to whatever it was he’d been doing. Your heart nearly pounded itself out of your chest, which is about when it dawned on you that you definitely had feelings for him. Shit, you thought to yourself briefly. It was probably best to keep this to yourself for now, you’d heard a lot about everything he had been through from the other members of the team and figured it’d be best to leave him alone. Even if you thought this while in private, it didn’t seem to actually stop you from flirting with him. What could possibly go wrong? He’d say no, but that wasn’t terrible. A few days later, you found him at his desk before the team was about to fly off to investigate a new case. You, however, weren’t cleared for field work yet, so you had to work in something before he went,

Gently putting a hand on his shoulder to get his attention, you leaned in closer to him as you said, “Have a safe flight, pretty boy, I’ll see you when you get back,” then walked off toward Garcia while practically being able to feel his eyes on you. Whether that was a good thing or not, you couldn’t tell, and the idea of having to wait until the team came back stirred up some nervousness that seized in the pit of your stomach but you pushed it aside for now to focus on helping Penelope here in Quantico. “I’m sorry, why is Reid making that face?” She laughed as she all but chased you further down the hall and away from the bullpen.

“I’m fairly certain I just called him pretty boy or something, I don’t know. I might’ve blacked out.” You sighed, averting her gaze as much as possible as you pushed through the door leading to all of her equipment.

“I knew it! You have a crush on Spencer!” Garcia cried in excitement, seconds away from jumping up and down. “Could you yell it any louder?? He might hear you! China might hear you–” You grab her arm as you whisper hurriedly, pulling her through the door and closing it behind her, “--wait, am I really that obvious about it?? Who else knows other than you?” “Mainly us girls, don’t worry. But I might be able to help you, see if he likes you back?” “What, have my own spy crew just for a crush? No way, I’ll get over it.” You brush a hand through your hair in embarrassment and frustration as you and her sit next to each other at her desk. All you could think about was Spencer, though. Nothing that happened throughout the day could fix that. Especially when he called a few hours later to ask for information. Garcia picked up the phone before you could react or steel yourself to the idea of talking to him again. “Hey, tall dark and nerdy, talk to me” She spoke quickly, leaning back in her chair. It made you blush, which you silently cursed her for. “Uh, hey, Garcia,” he paused to chuckle, “I need your help–” “Obviously” You started to get up to escape the room and compose yourself, but, much to your chagrin, he’d heard the background noise over the phone, “Is someone else in there with you?” His voice crackled over the phone line again, which made Penelope stop you from moving, 

“Yes, actually,” She nudged you as she spoke,

“H-uh, Hi, Spence.” You spoke up, trying to sound lighthearted. The idea of speaking to him again this soon seized your heart and made it hard to breathe. 

“Hey…as you can probably hear, I made it here safe. No need to worry.” There was a bit of a teasing tone to his voice. You’d never quite heard him use that tone with you before. Or anyone for that matter. 

Before you had time to process that, they were on to talking about the case again and you were able to escape the situation pretty much unscathed. 

The rest of the team didn’t return until later that week, on a Friday, so Garcia got pizza for everyone to celebrate. 

She came to grab you from your desk and the two of you arrived just in time to see something that stirred up something in you, so deep you think you were possessed by one of your distant descendants.

“You’re cutting pizza with a butter knife?!” You ask incredulously, not meaning to come off so viciously. 

Spencer froze, plastic butter knife still in hand as he stabbed into the pizza. 

“We…We don’t have a pizza cutter here, and some of the slices were kinda stuck together with cheese…” he explained, almost frozen in place as he awkwardly chuckled at the ridiculous nature of the conversation while Garcia couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Sorry, I honestly have no idea what came over me. Let’s uh, let’s dig into this pizza, huh? Now that I’m done getting possessed by my grandma?” You joke, going closer to the table with Penelope and grabbing one of the slices that were…cut. Definitely not sawed apart poorly. He’d tried his best. At this current moment, Spencer Reid was honestly just lucky he was cute. Despite that, you smiled politely and spent time with your found family that is the BAU.

That night, after all the fun was over and it was time to go home for a much needed crash, it had been just you and Spencer. You both volunteered to clean up after everything so that everyone else could go home for some much needed rest and to get a start on their weekend. They tried to insist that they’d help, too, but everyone was tired and it wasn’t that big of a mess so there was no need for everyone to stay. 

You thought it’d be fine, because surely you could be at least somewhat normal around him, right? 

The two of you easily talked and joked the whole time, the energy in the room fairly normal until you both reached for the same pizza box. Your hands brushed together and you instinctively looked up at each other, a similar electric feeling running down both your spines. 

“Oh, I can um…I can grab that.” you speak softly, almost afraid to speak in the sudden intense silence. 

“It’s okay, I got it. It’s the least I could do after you almost stabbed me earlier for my inferior method of cutting pizza.” Spence replied with a soft smile.

“Hey, you were the one with the plastic knife, mister.” 

“I’m never gonna live that down, am I?” 

“Not as long as I’m here,”

You both broke out into laughter then there were a few moments of just eye contact before you’d started to lean in closer slowly. Like too fast of a movement would scare him away. It seemed like he would, too, but before either of you could touch the other, he quickly stood up and away from you.

“Sorry—um, it’s been a long day. I can take care of taking out the rest of the trash, you don’t have to stick around. Thanks for the help, though.” He says hastily, grabbing one of the two bags of garbage bags that sat by the door and quickly rushing off. 

You sighed to yourself and grabbed your bag, heading out for the night and silently cursing at yourself. If it wasn’t awkward before, it would be now. 

But you just couldn’t help yourself around Spencer, everything about him screamed out to you like some sort of siren call. Every time you weren’t around him, basically anything would remind you of him. 

You just needed to bite the bullet and ask him out, so that’s exactly what you were going to do. The worst he could do was say no, right? 

So the week after that, you had finally worked up some courage. The whole team was at a bar together, Spencer being the only one not drinking as per usual. You, being about two drinks in at this point, had enough of tiptoeing around him. 

It’s now or never, you thought. 

You went over to him while everyone else was doing their own thing in different spots in the bar, so it was just the two of you, and you sat yourself next to him. 

Spencer looked over and smiled kindly at you, his brown doe eyes shining in the dim lighting. Your chest flooded with warm affection as soon as you made eye contact with him, and it made you that much more sure about this. 

“Hey, having fun?” he asked cheerfully, the happiest you’d heard him in a while. Since you’d started working at the BAU, you’d realize when you thought about this moment later. 

“Yeah, but um…I really need to ask you something, Spence.” 

“Oh? By all means, go ahead,” he gestures for you to continue, turning his body toward yours to give you his full attention. 

“Okay so…um…I…I like you. Like, I really like you—“ you started to say, before he interjected. 

“This isn’t sounding like a question”

“Spencer, please”

“Sorry, go on” he sheepishly smiled, apparently having fun teasing you a little. 

“Thank you, but I uhh…shit—“ you cursed. 

“You were saying you really like me?” 

“Right—so, I was wondering…if…if you’d want to…maybe…go out sometime? With me?”

“We…are out,” he gestured to the bar around the two of you, “right now.” 

“That’s not what I mean—“

“I know what you mean, and I…I’m not sure.”

“What?”

“I’ve had a lot happen to me recently, between going to jail and everything that happened with Cat, as well as everything else and our jobs themselves…I’m not sure I have room to have someone else in my life. No matter how much I like you, too.” 

You nearly gasped when he said he liked you, too, but you held it back. This was the most emotionally vulnerable he’d ever been around you. You weren’t going to take advantage of that. 

“Well…” you take his hand in both of yours, holding it close to your chest. “We could take things slow…ride things out, y’know? But that’s only if you want to. I’m here to make sure you’re happy. Whether it’s with me or not.”

He stared at you silently for a moment, considering everything you’d just told him. He kept glancing from your eyes to your lips, as if he was contemplating at a speed your slightly buzzed mind wasn’t quite up to keeping up with. 

Before you could speak or even think further on it, he was leaning forward and speaking low enough that only you would be hearing it. 

“Let’s go, let’s go back to my place. We’ll talk about this more, I just can barely hear myself think with the music in here.” 

You nodded and stood up from the booth, both of you waving goodbye to the rest of the team with gentle smiles before walking off. 

Back at his apartment, he barely had the door closed 5 minutes before he was kissing you. 

So much for talking things through. 

The way his lips pressed to yours felt passionate, desperate even. Like he’d been waiting to do this for a long time. You let yourself relax into it, your hand drifting up to tangle your fingers in his hair. Everything about kissing him just made you want to lose yourself in him until you weren’t sure where each of you ended and began. 

Then, just as suddenly as he started, he pulled away, taking in deep breaths and pushing his hair back away from his face but still close enough that you could feel his breath ghosting over your face. 

“Sorry, that…I shouldn’t have—“

Before he could finish, you were pulling him back in for more. He wasn’t about to get away with a kiss like that with just a simple ‘sorry’. Not if you had anything to say about it. 

The two of you ended up tangled together in his bed for the rest of the night, the blanket gently wrapped around you both in a comfortable silence. 

Talking could wait, for now you were just…together, and that was more than enough.

[benisasoftboi]

I am so happy with the conclusion of BBC Ghosts.

There were so many things I loved about the final series that I can't even keep it all straight in my brain, I'll have to rewatch it all (and the Christmas special, of course! Must remember it's the not the true end yet!)

But something I can immediately say I loved was what they didn't do. See, that line in the trailer that turned out to be from episode 5 - about there being a pattern to when they move on - worried me. One of the best things about the show, to me, is how there truly is not any reason at all to why the ghosts are there, or when they go. It's something the creators have said over and over, and that the show has always backed up; we saw so many times that, unlike in most ghost media, addressing unfinished business or achieving emotional resolution changes absolutely nothing. Pat hit some sort of emotional resolution three times. And Julian realised the importance of family, and Robin saved someone’s life, and Thomas discovered the truth of his death, and so on and so on. Finding closure isn't the end, and equally, the end isn't predicated by a climatic conclusion. It just happens. And the same is true for why people become ghosts. It just happens. And you exist, and fill your days, and then you’re gone. And no one knows why.

It's kind of the most agnostic television show I've ever seen.

I love that. Every other afterlife show I've ever seen has some kind of reward and punishment system. Or at least says that there's a reason for things, some kind of higher power at play, not necessarily a god but something like it. Even the American adaptation felt the need to bring Hell into it, which is why I need to specify that I'm only talking about the British version here. And I feel like a lot of fans wanted there to be reasons too, or felt like there simply had to be, that it wasn't even a question. I get why - it's not just because it's the standard for ghost narratives. It's really uncomfortable to think about the randomness of life and death. But Mary didn't go because of anything that happened before that day, and Cap was never going to go because he came out, and one day, when they've all gone, there won't have been a reason for it.

Because the real point of BBC Ghosts is that there is no point. You’ve just got to make it through the days, surrounded by people that irritate you, trapped in a confusing world where you’re mostly powerless. And it sucks, and you're angry, and sad, and bored as hell. And you also find happiness in the mundane chaos, and you get really good at chess, and watch the ants in the garden, and write bad poetry, and read terrible romance novels, and gamble money you don't have, and go camping, and play games, and learn French, and watch reality TV, and have sex with a decapitated Tudor nobleman’s body, and dance to old music, and look at the stars, and find that you actually really love all those annoying people after all, and that’s the point.

[watarfallar]

If I had a nickel for every time I posted an incorrect quotes dump, I'd have a lot of nickles!

BigB: What if I lied this whole time and I'm actually 18? Mumbo: BigB, stop trying to get drugs. BigB: Don't suppress my interests.

Lizzie: Oh, my God. Do you know what this is? Jimmy: It’s a book. There’s a lot of those in here, this is a library.

Tango: Don’t stay up all night, Ren. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Scar: Guys, there’s a monster under my bed and it’s really ugly. Gem, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

Etho: Gem has no idea I’m high. Gem: You’re high? Etho: Oh, I’m sorry. Etho, leaning over to Grian: Gem has no idea I’m high.

Martyn: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?" Scar: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name. Cleo: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

Scar: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Grian: 'Prettiest Smile' Joel: 'Nicest Personality' Ren: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Cleo: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Impulse: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.

Pearl: So I’m the only one around here who can clean up, huh? You can't even lift a finger? Tango: Do I get to pick the finger?

Jimmy, talking to Impulse: Well Impulse, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Gem do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing. Impulse: … Gem, from the distance: They’re not wrong though!

Pearl: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.

BigB: Tango, what if there are monsters? Tango: Don’t worry, we’re top of the food chain. Much later… BigB, lying awake at night: I am the monster.

Pearl: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Gem! *Neither of them die* Gem: … Pearl: … Gem: So do you wanna talk about somethi- Pearl: No thank you.

Bdubs: Aww, what's your dog's name? Tango: Spartacus. Bdubs, yelling to Martyn: TRY SPARTACUS! Martyn, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK! Tango: Bdubs: What's your favorite number?

Scott: Don’t say a word. Impulse: Fergalicious. Scott: Impulse, I said no words. Impulse: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.

Skizz, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Cleo: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Tango: How? Cleo: I need someone to take the fall. Tango: What did you do? Cleo: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Etho, from the other room: Oh my god. Cleo: ... Etho: OH MY GOD! Tango: Make it a hundred. Cleo: Deal.

Mumbo: So jellyshish- Grian, laughing: JELLYSHISH!? Mumbo: You know what I meant!

Cleo: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest* Skizz: We have heart? Cleo: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

Etho: Do you even have a plan? Tango: This is the plan! I break you out, chaos, destruction, something something something, we win! Etho: Oh, of course, the old “something something something we win”. That’s a terrible plan!

Pearl: Why is it that I always lose things as soon as I need them? Grian: Actually, it's not that you lose things when you need them. You lose them a while before. It's just that you LOOK for things when you need them. Pearl: Okay yeah thanks Grian, that's great but WHERE'S THE FUCKING FIRST AID KIT?

Scar: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

[bangchansgirlsblog]

HELLO🤩

i am in a randomly good mood

and i need angst to ruin it

so

i present to you

HYUNJIN X READER- they get into a fight and he raises his hand as if he’s gonna hit her and she flinches and he’s like…. “i can’t deal with your shit rn” and LEAVES *a collective gasp rises from the audience* and she’s all like “well i can’t deal with your shit either” and ALSO LEAVES (like the apartment they share or smth lol) and goes to stay at another members house (but like she’s being reasonable because it was a REALLY bad fight😓) and it ends in him apologizing after realizing he was a total dick teehee🤭

sorry if that’s too much lol keep up the great work!!🩵

Protective services

Warning: Angry Hyunjin, violence (not really), angst/comfort

Pairing: hyunjin x reader

It’s 4 am and it’s so fucking hot omg. Shoot me 😔

**

“Hyunjin,” Y/n softly called for her boyfriend from the kitchen. He was sat in their living room finishing off a song on his laptop so he was quite concentrated but still he made sure to reply.

“Hm?”

“Baby, what do you think we should take to your mums house for dinner tomorrow?” She walked over to their dining room to sit and jot down the shopping list of things she needed for the huge family dinner at his family’s home.

“I don’t know, you figure it out,” he waved her off and quickly looked back at his computer. His eyebrows were furrowed and he had his glasses on.

She let out a frustrated sigh and continued to write down the list desiding she would make some kimchi and fried rice. Perfect.

Satisfied with her list she went to change into some grocery shopping clothes and turned it the lights. “Hyunjin, I’m going grocery shopping,” she informed the older man who was pulling at his hair.

“Yeah, hm? Okay, okay,” he dismissed her again not even listening to what she had to say this cause her blood to boil. Atleast he could offer to come spend time with her but ofcourse work took all his time. It was always work, work, work.

She grabbed her wallet and closed the door behind her before quickly making her way to the convince store. It was a little chilly but nothing she couldn’t handle.

South Korea was safe after all so her being late out at night wasn’t a problem…well she thought.

It was when she was walking back to their apartments when she heard it. Footsteps. Footsteps that were following her and getting closer.

She had grocery bags in her hands that were extremely heavy and the fact that Hyunjin wasn’t there was worrying her a little bit.

She quickly turned and saw no one. Weird. Was she dreaming? She quickly started walking again but this time her footsteps got faster and so did the ones behind her.

“Excuse me miss?” She heard a rough voice calling for her. Her heart was beating at a terrible pace. Her hands were shaking.

She quickly looked behind before seeing who it was. It was a man, a scrubby looking man. He had a dirty smirk on his face and his hands were in his pocket.

“Can I help you?” She quietly said before taking a few steps back.

“Yes actually, I saw you shopping and I thought you were really-“

“Really what?” A voice growled from behind Y/n. She quickly jumped and looked up to see her pissed off boyfriend standing behind her. Towering both her and the man.

His hands automatically wrapped around her and that’s when she realized her surroundings. She was 2 blocks away from her and Hyunjin’s apartment. So this man really was following her.

“Is he your boyfriend?” The man asked in disbelief. His eyes grew wider, “Isn’t he famous?”

“I’d advise you leave before this gets ugly for you. I saw you following her and if I see you next to her ever again. I’ll make sure to break your hands off and beat you with them. Don’t think just because I sing and dance I can’t beat the shit out of you,”

Hyunjin stood infront of Y/n and pushed the man, he didn’t even try to fight Hyunjin but instead started to scurry off while cursing.

“Baby how-“

“Why the fuck are you out here in the night time without me?” He said sternly. His voice getting louder the more he talked.

He harshly grabbed the grocery bags from her hands.

“But I told you I was going grocery shopping Hyunjin plus-“

“You don’t leave the house without me at this time. You forget that you’re everyone’s target. Are you stupid?” He growled as he gently pushed her so they could start making their way to the apartments. He wanted to make sure he still had an eye on her even if he was extremely mad.

“I don’t know why you’re mad at me. I told you I was going to-“ she was hurt by his harsh words. She just wanted to explain herself.

“Then why the fuck were you not picking up my calls? Do you know how worried I got?” He was yelling now. “I told you to text me whenever your out so I know your safe, why don’t you listen Y/n,”

“Hyunjin I don’t know why your making this such a big deal but your scaring me,” she frowned as they made it inside their apartment. He slammed the door shut before throwing the bags of stuff on the dining table.

“Be careful there are eggs!” She yelped before running to check if they’re okay.

“Is that all you care about now?! You could have gotten hurt outside there. Raped! Robbed! Beaten!”

“Hyunjin stop yelling! It’s not a big deal! I always go shopping without you. Maybe your overreacting a little,” she begged for him to stop as she paced back out to the living room where he was now.

“I need to go think-“

“Think about what babe? I’m sorry okay. Just don’t leave. I- I promise I didn’t mean to. I thought you heard me when I told you I was leaving the house!”

“We need to find a way for you to be safe out there Y/n. Just let me think,”

He grabbed his jacket yet again and she chased after him clinging on his hand.

“God dammit Y/n!” He roared and raised his hand before punching the wall. She quickly flintched and fell on the floor thinking it would land on her.

She lets out a tiny squeal before shielding her head with her hands.

Hyunjin’s face quickly softens. His heart was in his throat. He couldn’t believe it. “Shit,” he softly said. His anger now slowly disappearing as guilt and worry filled his body.

“I’m so sorry baby,” he kept mumbling. He dropped his jacket and tried to grab her but she quickly scrambled away.

She was genuinely scared. She knew Hyunjin wouldn’t hit her but with the way he was reacting before she didn’t know what he was capable of at the moment.

“I- why?” She sniffled. Her eyes now streaming with tears and she quickly got off the floor and rushed to the bedroom.

Her sobs filled the room as she quickly dialed the only person she could think of.

“Channie?” She cried into the phone.

“Hm? What is it?” He frantically said as he heard her tit sniffles. “What’s wrong Y/nnie? You okay? Where are you?”

“Channie…Hyunjin he- he got angry and-“

“I’m coming over right now, stay there and stay away from him,” she could hear him shuffling around probably getting dressed. All she could do is cry.

On the other side of the door, Hyunjin was a crying mess. He didn’t expect the fight to turn left. He was going to hit her. He just blacked out for a second and her tiny screams woke him up he then realized what he had done.

“What is it Hyung?” He groaned as he sat by their bedroom door.

“Come over. Chan just called me fuming and I’m worried he’ll kill you if he finds you there,”

“But Binnie- I didn’t mean to I swear,”

“I just said come over. You need to calm down and we can talk about it okay?” He knew Changbin was right.

The comfort of knowing that Chan was on his way over was what made him leave the house not without knocking on their door first.

No answer.

He then slowly opened it to find the love of his life in a little ball. Tiny cries left her small frame but all he could do was walk over and kiss her forehead. She didn’t flinch but she didn’t react even and with that he left their shared apartment to head off to his friend’s house.

**

The frantic knocks on the door was what got her up. She knew it was Chan instantly and she honestly couldn’t wait for his cuddles.

“Where is he?” He marched into the house fuming.

“He- he left,” she said. Chan’s posture melted when he saw the state she was in. He felt so sorry and so bad but he knew apologizing wouldn’t do anything.

“Movie while you tell me what happened?” He pulled her into a hug as she broke down even more.

“Yes please,” she mumbled into his hoodie.

By the time the movie had ended, she was fast asleep by his side. It was a long 2 hours of him trying to calm her down and assuring her that Hyunjin didn’t mean what he did. It was probably a big misunderstanding. It took hours of convincing but he was finally able to get her to sleep and calm down.

When he heard the knock on the door he knew who it was and wasn’t shocked when the devil himself walked through the door.

“I won’t kill you,” was all Chan said before getting up and signaling for him to come hold her instead.

“Thank you Hyung, I owe you one,”

“I know you two are a young couple and it gets hard but you slowly learn how to be patient with her. I hope Binnie and leeknow told you that,”

“Trust me they gave me the longest lecture of my life and on top of that they took away all my pc privileges,” he huffed and slowly played with your hair.

“How is she?” He asked while admiring her face. It was still a little puffy and the guilt started to eat him again.

“Okay, she cried and cried but I finally got her to calm down. Just talk to her and apologize. She loved you at the end of the day,” and with that. They said their goodbyes and Hyunjin carried Y/n to their shared room. He slowly put her in bed before rushing to finish up putting the groceries away and cleaning up.

He made his way back to your room and got into bed to cuddle you but what made him smile was the way you wrapped your arms around him before whispering a tiny “I love you.”

Damn he was such a dickhead.

[mins-fins]

ANGEL EYES. — [L.MH] [PT. 1]

❝ sometimes, it feels as if mark lee is your guardian angel ❞

SYNOPSIS: innocent cherub eyes, gently soft hands, a heart of gold, mark lee is the golden boy whose experienced as much love as he gives back. his grades are high, his smile is wide, and his laughter is sweet. the only reason mark lee gets embroiled in a world of trouble is because of his pairing with the 'messed up foster kid' in a school project. it would be stupid to ever let himself get involved, but mark does anyway.

PAIRING: mark lee x male!reader

GENRE: mid–2000s au, high school au, strangers to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, humor(?), slow burn, one sided pining to mutual pining, sadness as a romantic segway, relationship study, reader is a foster kid, mark pov, happy ending.. (i suppose)

WARNINGS: swearing, explicit language, violence, drug abuse, child abuse & neglect, family issues, mentions of death, smoking, homophobia, reader simply has the worst time and mark sobs about his circumstances, an awful amount of love that isn't realized to be love

WORD COUNT: 20.8k

NOTES: hey, hi, hello, its me isa mins-fins back with another BANGER 😍‼️ make sure to hit that subscribe button for more epic fanfiction 😋💥 okay but seriously, i've been writing this for almost TWO MONTHS (began in aug, first part wrapped up in nov) and its been a journey holy shit 😭😭 i dont remember why i randomly started this draft but i did and now its become this monstrosity, almost 21k words and were only halfway there, sorry, there's unfortunately more suffering awaiting, but dont worry, happy ending!! of course, user junjiie, i love you 💗, thank you for again listening to my unhinged rants about this thing and consuming all of the spoilers, you deserve love, and an endless supply of mark photocards 😊😊 as for everybody else who reads my stuff, thank you for sticking around despite the fact that i disappeared for about three weeks, please enjoy this mess 🤗

PREVIEW | NEXT

BEFORE IT WAS IN THE CRISP AUTUMN ATMOSPHERE, mark lee had met you at the local police station. it was only a few months prior, august of 2004 brought the prospect of donghyuck doing everything to try and get arrested, prospects that mark could only respond with under the breath swears. he loves donghyuck, he really does, but driving shouldn't have been his first choice. in all of the friendships mark has had with other people in his life, donghyuck has always brought a wave of chaos along with him, the exact opposite of who mark's mom would advise him to stay away from, but she'd always had a soft spot for him, mark can't exactly blame her.

fresh off turning seventeen and utterly clueless as to what the future would bring, mark only found himself at the police station for one reason. donghyuck had driven without a license. yep, sixteen years old and he assumed doing an illegal u-turn was the way to end his summer.

mark has always been a stand up kid. the kind who handed out his mom's cookies to the neighbors. the kind who called for stray cats in alleyways. the kind who was simply an innocent bystander to all the bullshit his friends would pull.

so when donghyuck called him from a jail phone, voice heightened in indignation as he begged for mark to come make a case for him, the older really had no choice but to do so. mark had never been to a police station before, afraid of catching sight of real criminals in the flesh by just walking past the building. he had watched too many scary stories, had terrible ideas of human beings planted in his head.

and even as a seventeen year old who had experienced life enough that such things shouldn't have terrified him anymore, there was still a small pit in his stomach as he rounded the corner in direction of the building.

"and how exactly am i supposed to bail you out?" an eyebrow raise accompanied mark's inquiry, and donghyuck scoffed as he shook his cuffed hands.

"you don't have to bail me out, my dad knows the sheriff, i'm just getting off with a warning" he whispered, sweat on his brow as he shared that familiar 'no shit' look with mark (an ironic expression really, he's the only one between the two of them that's been in cuffs).

mark snickered. "you talk so much when you're the one handcuffed".

"watch your mouth, you need me".

just as donghyuck was about to let out a swear in addition to his snappy response, said sheriff walked into the room, tight lipped smile painting his face. "don't try that again donghyuck, or next time you'll end up in a cell".

in a instant, donghyuck's blood ran cold, mark almost laughed at the sight, but he remained still, watching. the older man glanced up, catching mark's anxiety ridden eyes. "and you are?"

"this is mark, my best friend" donghyuck was quick to quip, a hand placed onto his shoulder.

mark's stomach dropped to his feet, it isn't as if he did anything wrong, it was simply on par for him to be severely anxious around law enforcement in general, he was just afraid he'd somehow get arrested for nothing at all.

"ohhh i remember you, i used to assume you two were brothers".

mark let out a breathy (and clearly faked) chuckle, trying to bury his anxiety. he could never explain it, even if you gave him all the words to, it's not like he's a bad kid, he just finds himself tensing often. "no, just friends.."

"it's good to have someone so close as support" he narrowed his eyes at donghyuck, who stifled his scoff at the clear sarcasm lacing his tone. he then scrunched his nose, watching as donghyuck placed a performative smile on his lips. "now you, sir, we need to have a talk".

donghyuck frowned, whining out complaints as he's dragged away by the sheriff. "can you wait, mark?"

mark blinked, shoving his hands into his pant pockets. he nodded, out of words. the two bantered back and forth like friends, something mark could only stare idly at. he made his way over to the seats beside the door, where, nestled in the corner of one of them, was you.

you were scribbling something into your notebook, unaware of the eyes on you. mark sat two chairs away from you, tapping his feet onto the floor as he heard the faint sounds of scoldings. safe driving, don't get into a car without a license, your future won't be any better if you continue this shit.

swearing at a child, mark found that rich. he glances beside him again, now watching you intently. you were engrossed in the manner your pen scratched against your paper, mark had figured out through endless staring that you hadn't been writing, but drawing.

you avoided his eyes for a while, ignorant to the eyes gazing you up and down. you then glanced in mark's direction, almost startling him out of his seat with the sudden stare. you blinked, puzzled out of your mind. "is there something on my face?"

mark tensed in his seat, feeling his stomach swirl, was he staring so much that you felt offended? he felt guilty immediately, his lips parting immediately and releasing a silent breath. "no.. no i'm sorry, i didn't mean to".

you shrugged your shoulders, one click to your pen. mark recognized you, but he simply couldn't conjure up an explanation as to why you were sitting in a police station at this time, drawing whatever into your notebook. "so why are you staring then?"

"i'm trying to figure out why you're here" mark muttered, fingers fiddling with his necklace as he tried to get his tone straight in fear of again offending you. "i'm sure you aren't committing crimes".

"i can say the same for you, mr golden boy".

mark's lips turned up slightly, his hands twitching from where they rested on his lips. "i got kicked out.. always come here to let dad and mom cool off for a few hours".

the words earned an eyebrow raise from mark, that was strange to hear, especially from another person in regards to their own parents. mark had never really experienced such a thing, the way you described it made his nose scrunch. "what?"

before you could respond to that one, a police officer entered the room, one you seemed to recognize by the way your eyes lit up. "come on l/n, time to go".

a frown settled onto your lips. "do i really have to go now? you know how my parents are.."

"i can't keep you here, it would technically be illegal".

"it's not like they'll care anyway.." you mumbled, slamming your notebook shut with yet another click to your pen. "just an hour longer, please?"

there was a sense of hope in your eyes, maybe he would actually take your words into account. mark simply stared, staggered by what he was witnessing. the officer watched the change of your expressions, your thumb playing at the button on your pen, continuously clicking over and over. as the clicks amplified, so did the sound of your labored breathing.

"you know i can't do that kid".

your frown deepened, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. worry, that's what mark remembered. your eyes widened, but not in the usual shock, simply in disappointment. you cursed under your breath, muttering something about your parents getting pissed at your reappearance. you stopped clicking your pen, letting the chagrin settle onto you. "yeah.."

you sucked your teeth, imitating the look of a sulky child. mark was consumed by his silence, completely confused by the situation. he didn't give a comment, simply watched the whole entire thing happen. "i'll give you a few minutes, don't worry".

you didn't respond to that one, your eyes following the police officer who strolled out the door towards his car. you bit into your lip again, hands grasping onto your notebook and thumb still pressing onto your pen. "what bullshit".

mark continued staring, his hands clutching at his thighs. you then glanced at him once more, causing for him to flinch back. you stayed silent, watching him as much as he did you a few minutes prior.

"are you alright?" he muttered, leaving his voice at a low volume. he didn't want to raise it, he wanted to keep it at a volume that kept you comfortable.

you snickered, clicking your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "fine, going home is just my worst nightmare".

mark's fingers found themselves sliding across his legs, teeth sliding against each other in back and forth motions. he blinked his big brown eyes, staring with an assured gaze he hoped would somehow make it's way to you. "i'm sorry".

he whispered those two words as if he was in physical pain, eyes watering for an inexplainable moment. he couldn't help it, and he had no idea why he couldn't help it. it was embarrassing how much he felt at the moment.

you stared back, lips pursuing. your expressions did at least seventy transformations, as if you were in disbelief at someone having empathy for you. you seemed distraught, why is he tearing up? that's so strange.

you chuckled, hoping it would quell his worries. "it's okay, not like it's your fault".

"still, you shouldn't have to feel that way about going home.. your parents shouldn't be kicking you out".

you grimaced, put off by the words. it isn't as if they were terrible, you just seemed.. astonished. why did he care? it was simply weird to you.

"well thank you for your concern but i'll be fine".

mark blinked away the tears threatening to escape his eyes, god what was wrong with him? why did he even tear up at that? he totally weirded you out.

"yeah um.. i'm sorry" mark bit into his inner cheek, letting out a heavy sigh. "just have a good day" a theatric smile placed itself on his lips, he was definitely trying to convince himself that it wasn't that bad of a situation.

you stared longer, seemingly itching to say something. there were words resting on the tip of your tongue, mark could practically sense it. "yeah, you too".

and when you stood up to walk out of the door, donghyuck coincidentally escaped the clutches of the sheriff, stumbling out of his office with his arms crossed over his chest. the door closed behind you, and mark watched the entire time.

"what took you so long?" mark uttered, eyes casting donghyuck's way.

the younger huffed in his usual donghyuck manner, hands on his hips. "he was giving me a big talk about safe driving" he placed heavy air quotes around the last two words, lips curled into a frown.

mark licked his teeth, his thoughts retracing back to you. "do you know him..?"

donghyuck blinked, his mouth opening to ask about who until he saw the way mark motioned his head. "y/n? oh yeah, he's around here all the time, the officers basically take him in whenever.."

"why?"

his voice scratched like sandpaper, donghyuck wincing at the tone. he then shrugged his shoulders, his attitude puzzled. "something about his parents not really caring, it's pretty shitty".

mark's lips parted in a freezing motion, his stomach pain only worsening. "that's scary.. feeling safer at the police station than your own home".

"i don't know much about his situation, just know his parents have a terrible temper".

mark swallowed the lump in his throat, his head beginning to pound at the information given. he tried to distract himself by thinking about school coming up soon, but he was snapped back into reality by donghyuck.

"why are you even asking me about y/n?"

mark glanced up at his childhood friend, a small whisper in his mind telling him to lie. "just curious that's all".

the lie laid bitter on his tongue, but he didn't allow for donghyuck to dwell on it, rising from the chair he practically glued himself to. "promise me you'll never illegally drive again, the officers here look like they wanna kill me".

donghyuck rolled his eyes, tease evident in his attitude. "okay markie, promise".

mark pushed his shoulder in retaliation.

that? that was two months ago.

before the crisp autumn weather drifted through the atmosphere, before the leaves began falling to decorate the ground in orange and brown hues, mark lee had met you at the local police station. your legs crossed, pen clicking, and nose buried into your notebook.

september came and went rather quickly, the scorching heat of the summer air transforming into the russet autumn scenery which drifts into october. the temperature steadily dropping, sweaters becoming more and more common in his closet, mark can't exactly focus in class during the first few months of school.

when mark hears his name fall from his teacher's lips in pair with yours, he snaps out of an episode of disassociation, blinking up. "what?"

his teacher deadpanned, readjusting her glasses. she doesn't even seem surprised by his lack of focus anymore, his exhaustion is constantly evident. "project partners mark, you'll be paired with y/n".

mark only parts his lips in response, the words rendering him speechless. he glances around the classroom as he listens to the older woman's voice blurs into the background, catching sight of you in the far back, again scribbling into your notebook, your manner reminiscent of how you acted the first time you two met.

he stares for a while before again looking forward, his mouth going dry as he tries again to focus, but of course, he can't. his mind stays focused on you throughout the whole class, even after the endless words he lets blur away.

you spin your pen between your fingers, it's the same pen you had that day, maybe you have some sort of attachment to it or something, maybe it's your favorite pen, maybe someone special gifted that pen to you.

maybe mark's letting it all get to his head, why is he even making assumptions when he hasn't walked up to you yet?

while everyone else rushes to leave the class, mark rises from his seat and again glances over at you, slinging his back over his shoulder.

you're riveted by what you're doing in your notebook, so absorbed that you barely hear the shuffling footsteps making their way around the many desks towards yours. your lips turn down as you smudge the ink on the page, a small suck of the teeth adding to your frustration.

"um.. hi" mark whispers, watching as you glance up and pause, one click to your pen. you don't respond immediately, studying mark for a while, and mark tenses up under your gaze, sucking a breath between his teeth.

"hi".

"we uh— were partners for the project".

your smile is neutral. "i know".

mark began biting the skin off his lips, hands gripping at his backpack. "i don't know where you want to start, uh.. maybe we could go to the library?"

he's just saying what he's hoping will work. he doesn't exactly know you yet, he assumes your one off interaction at the police station left a sour taste in your mouth.

but unbeknownst to mark's anxious inner voice, you smile, not exactly a neutral one this time, a much better smile ('better' in terms of expression, your lips stretch into an aspect of satisfaction).

"that'd be nice".

mark nods, almost too enthusiastically he thinks. how embarrassing. you let out a silent yawn, oblivious to the battle mark is having in his head. "tomorrow maybe we can start?"

your smile again becomes neutral, but at least mark doesn't think you want to kill him. "yeah, tomorrow is fine".

tomorrow. tomorrow is fine.

"okay, have a good day y/n".

mark rushes out of the classroom much too fast, he feels a little terrified of you. maybe you don't exactly want to kill him, maybe you just look at everyone else in that way, maybe it won't be that bad to be paired with you.

still, mark isn't sure why his mind tells him he should stay away from you.

THE NEXT DAY GOES AS USUAL, DAD AND MOM bicker at the breakfast table, leave kisses on mark's forehead before letting him go off. the heightened smell of pine was all that met mark's nose, his senses freaking out as he stepped into the cool october air. it's still eight in the morning, it shouldn't be this cold. just a month ago the sun was attempting to burn off his skin with it's murderous rays, and now it's obscured behind gray clouds. hopefully it doesn't rain, he forgot to bring an umbrella, and mom would kill him if he turned up at home with his clothes drenched. he assumes that he's gotten pretty good at predicting the weather, and judging by the pattern the clouds form in the sky, it won't rain today.

history is his last class of the day, and mark immediately found out that history is the only class you two share. donghyuck runs his mouth in his ear all day, something about junior year really being the one where you lose your identity, mutterings about drinking and partying falling from his lips.

his chin leans against his hand as he complains about jaemin not giving him homework answers, and mark releases a small sigh, drawing a small snort from his best friend. "you getting bored of me now?" he's quick to ask, aggressively shoving his shoulder against mark's.

mark grunts, nose scrunching as he sees the elation donghyuck shows. "you've been talking forever, do you not get tired?"

"someone has to entertain you".

"i'm not entertained, i'm annoyed".

donghyuck huffs, an eye roll being his response to mark's insult. he never lets it get to his head, donghyuck has always been the least sensitive between the two of them. his lips curl up into yet another smile of glee, overjoyed by mark's irritation.

"it's the seniority getting to you, grandpa".

mark shares an incredulous with him, scoffing as he grabs his bag from where he let it sit beside him. giggles spill from donghyuck's lips, his face red at the sight of mark's furrowed eyebrows. "not even a year older than you.."

"you're still old!"

donghyuck sings out the words in the way of a melodic tune, whistling in the air. mark again mutters something about not being old, and donghyuck sticks out his tongue. "see you later oldie".

mark's face scrunches, but he bid donghyuck a goodbye anyway. he's been a constant in his life, getting called old by an annoying sixteen year old isn't exactly the kind of thing that puts stress on his life, he'll be fine, there's definitely worse the world could throw at him, and lee donghyuck just barely scratches the surface.

after lunch, he has history for a double period. he usually disassociates through the first forty five minutes, his teacher is a nice woman, yes, but she takes so long to get to the point. he's read through the topics time and time again, he's simply relearning them to get the last few credits he needs to graduate.

he'll be done by the time the second semester rolls around, so that isn't much of a worry.

when he slides into his seat, he wants to crane his head back to look for you, but just as his head connects the dots, attendance begins, and he hears you mutter a small 'here' when the teacher calls your name.

"mark lee?"

he glances up, straightening his posture. "here" he replies, licking his lips.

the dragging of your pen against the paper of your notebook stops, mark knows it's yours because he listened to the same sound yesterday up close when he asked you about the library.

the first forty five minutes of class fly by, mark manages to keep himself from falling asleep while his teacher goes on about something he'd already learned about years prior.

then, she stops, the shuffling of desks are heard in the room, and his teacher sighs as she places her hands against her desk. "as i said yesterday, your project is about important historical events, you can use these next few minutes to brainstorm with your partners".

she then sighs with her hands clasped together. "no funny business" she scolds, her tone reminiscent of a mother angry at her children.

a click of the tongue sounds as mutters begin getting louder, mark's chest tightens as he glances around the room, watching everyone else get up to discussing with their partners.

of course, he has to go to you.

he stands from his place and drags a chair over to you, eyes squeezing shut at the sound it emanates. "sorry".

you instantly squint, a scrunch of your nose adding to your expression. "did you just apologize for.. nothing?"

mark swallows, his lips pursuing. he doesn't have a response for that, apologies falling from his lips are programmed into his speech. the way you asked makes him feel as if something is wrong with his manner of speaking, he isn't sure why he thinks about it in that way though.

"i don't know i.." his words drift off into nothing, there isn't a response to that one, because mark has no idea why he says what he does. "i'm sorry".

you respond with a chuckle, and mark's eyes miraculously widen. he just did it again, and it felt completely normal. one click to your pen. your lips stretch into yet another neutral smile, the prospect amusing you. "alright, what should our topic be?"

mark pauses, scratching his nails against the wooden table. his eyes drifts over to your notebook, and you close it upon catching his gaze. his lips press into a thin line, a breath in his teeth. "maybe the industrial revolution..?"

it's simply the first thing he could say at the moment, he wasn't exactly thinking. you blink, using a hum as your reply this time. you map out the several features on mark's face, his big brown eyes shine with anticipation, and it gets difficult to hide your smile.

"unless you wanna do something else" mark is quick to add, his words a small whisper. "i want to hear your suggestions".

he observes the act of your expressions changing, your eyebrows pinching together in a questioning manner. you don't seem to mind, he gathers. "it's alright, i would've said the bubonic plague or something but that's been dried up countless times i assume".

mark breaks into a small smile, relaxing against the chair. "okay, the industrial revolution it is" he whispers, hands clasped together. "do you still want to go to the library today or..?"

"i can't make it today".

your voice lowers exponentially, eyes casting to the side. mark gazes, as if attempting to read your inner most thoughts. you don't exactly make them clear, that's puzzling, mark almost wants to ask what the deal is, but he assumes you'd probably cuss him out if he did.

he presents his warmest smile to you. "it's okay, i can find sources for today, we can begin searching together tomorrow".

you don't nod, simply stare back. mark blinks, avoiding your eyes as he glances around the room. "i don't really want to put that all on you, i can still gather sources i just can't stay after school.."

mark is the one who nods, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "that's fine, you think you can stay tomorrow though?"

god mark feels like such an asshole asking that, he tries to keep his eyes everywhere but directly in front of him, because he's afraid of getting decked in the face.

but instead, you chuckle. "yeah tomorrow is fine, sorry for being so.. inconsistent".

mark then shakes his head, hoping the movements would reassure you in some way. "it's alright, thank you for telling me".

your lips stay pressed together, another small hum vibrating from you. you again run out of responses, so mark speaks up. "let's work well together, yeah?"

is that really the correct choice of words? think about it mark.

mark already thinks too much, if he thinks more, he might begin feeling tears stream down his cheeks. he doesn't want to seem.. jumpy, even if there are voices screaming at him with their pitches so high blood might start pouring out of his ears.

and finally, you nod, which gets a small smile out of mark.

MARK READS ON AND ON ABOUT THE INDUSTRIAL revolution until the words burn into his brain, until the sun goes down and his mom is casting him strange looks every time she walks past his open door. around the fifth time she did a lap, she paused as she watched mark flip through the many books scattered around his bed. "what is going on here?" she inquires, and mark glances up as he's midway through reading about british imperialism, a small smile on his lips. "this is for my project" he whispers, clear fatigue in his voice. she narrows her eyes, puzzled by the manner he's acting in.

"it's almost ten o'clock, mark".

ten isn't that late, he would usually muse, but there's a pointed look she sends him that leaves the words resting on the tip of his tongue. "okay, i'll go to sleep now.." he mutters, licking his lips.

she smiles softly, tapping her finger against his door. "sleep for real, mark, don't read all night".

"i don't read all night" he argues to the air. he knows that isn't true, he can't argue about it to his mom. he crosses his arms over his chest, imitating the stubborn front donghyuck always puts up.

she utters something akin to a 'sure' and gives one last look to mark before walking down the hallway. mark only casts one last glance in the direction of his door, then he picks up the books he littered across his bed to shove into his backpack.

he isn't exactly sure why he couldn't stop thinking about your neutral smile. mark has only interacted with you three times in two months, yet there's something there that keeps him grounded, his mind warns him of something, but you can't be terrible, you seem practically harmless.

mark isn't new to knowing people with somewhat shitty parents, but he feels as if there's something more there. mark really can't judge from a one off interaction he wasn't even involved in besides watching, how can he concoct something like this about you in his head when you barely talk to him as it is? he can't just make shit up before actually sitting down to get to know you.

he stares out his open window, the night breeze comes in with a rush reminiscent of ocean waves. he switches off his lights and stares up at the ceiling, hair splayed behind him as he waits for the exhaustion to take over.

he's bad news mark.

but what does mark know? this could just be his anxiety's biggest manifestations, he's making shit up. he's guessing based on the few interactions you two have had, and if he thinks further, it seems that you don't exactly enjoy his presence.

mark doesn't get much sleep that night.

that isn't as crazy as it should be, mom asks about it at breakfast the next morning, catching the dark circles under his eyes. he manages to utter an excuse about sounds outside or something, it was barely believed, she squinted at him with pure incredulity in her eyes, but he quickly scarfed down the remaining waffles on his plate and rushed to school, weighed down by his backpack containing thick books.

donghyuck made an awful lot of remarks about him accidentally killing someone with his backpack. he had the urge to purposefully swing it around to hit the younger with his backpack, but he kept such thoughts to himself, he could get revenge on donghyuck another time. maybe he'll hit him in the head with a metal pan again, who knows?

the lack of sleep exhibits itself in mark's barely functioning body as a whole. seven separate times during the day he almost dozed off during class, his teachers gave him the benefit of the doubt, him practically snoring on his desk was nothing new, he gets a pass because he's the kid with good grades.

by the time last period rolls around, mark forgets everything else that happened today. two hours of sleep usually don't do him this bad, but considering he'd been constantly getting over seven hours of sleep this week, two basically rendered him dead.

his hand slammed onto his desk a few too many times, he jolted up a few too many times. his eyes narrowed as he yawned again, doing his regular glance around the classroom. he counts each of the heads he catches, noticing some missing, but only a certain missing one is alerting.

you aren't here.

mark's lips turn downward, a weathering frown now overtaking his former exhaustion. mrs. lim took attendance thirty minutes ago, how did he miss you not responding to the call of your name? he narrows his eyes at your empty desk, feeling a pit form in his stomach.

where is he? his lips pursue as he looks forward, now unable to care about his fatigue when he was now consumed with confusion on where the hell you were.

did you just decide to go m.i.a for absolutely no reason? god what an asshole move. do you even know how difficult it is to do a project on your own?

mark doesn't let the anger fester for long, though, because it then becomes worry. maybe something happened, you told him you'd be able to stay today, did you just lie to him?

okay, so maybe his anger does fester a little bit, but he can't stay angry at really anyone for long (not even donghyuck, annoying guy 101). his fingers press uncomfortably onto the straps of his backpack as he makes his way over to the library, maybe you won't show up, but he still has to finish this project anyway.

he drops the books down with a resounding thud, immediately getting to jotting down notes after apologizing to the librarian. his head simply leaned downward, threatening to fall and crash against the table at any moment. he isn't sure how he remains awake, but he manages to keep himself up enough that he's able to write at least two pages of notes.

he's about to begin drooling, an embarrassing feat really, but he can't contain his weariness.

and just as he's about to pass out—

"are you good?"

mark jolts up straight away, a gasp of surprise leaving his lips as he takes in the words. when he whips his head back, he immediately frowns, it's you. he sucks a breath between his teeth, shoulders relaxing. "yeah yeah i'm just tired i.."

mark would've spit out some snarky interjection when his eyes drifted downward. then, in their usual fashion, they widened, and a grimace made it's way to his face.

a barrage red and purple decorate your knuckles, the skin between your fingers threatening to open. he barely holds back his wince, it looks painful, so painful. why the fuck are your knuckles split?

"are you alright?"

you deliver a snort. "is that the question you're always going to ask me?"

"oh my god! you're— your hands jesus what the hell even happened!?"

mark grabs your hands to get a closer look, your rough skin clashing against his in a burning manner. you promptly draw your hands away, as if in a protective stance, as if.. weirded out by the whole ordeal. "nothing, it's fine".

"it's fine?" mark parrots, sharing an incredulous look with you he normally wouldn't share with anyone. "your knuckles are one snap away from bleeding!"

your face twitches, and you bring a finger to your lips. "don't yell in a library, it isn't that serious".

"it isn't—" mark cuts his own speech off, closing his eyes to try and keep himself calm. "what happened?"

you mutter something unintelligible at first, fingers picking at the sides of your hands. "i just made someone mad.."

"you just made someone mad?"

you shrug your shoulders, startlingly mundane about the whole thing. mark stares, an intake of fear entering him. your face is flat, the only expression mark could make out was slight irritation, but not at him.. at least he hopes.

"you weren't in class today" he whispers, now quickly changing the subject as you drag the chair beside him back, settling onto it.

"i skipped" you speed through your response, grinding any of the pain you feel in your knuckles between your teeth. "looked like shit, mrs. lim would've had a heart attack if i walked into her room".

"you didn't think to go to the nurse or something?"

you narrow your eyes, tongue probing at the side of your cheek. "you ask so many questions, that has to be your thing".

mark sucks his teeth. "..sorry for worrying?"

you blink, a neutral smile spreading across your lips. "you're a weird guy".

there it is. there the word is. weird. you think mark is weird. is mark weird? if mark is weird, then what does that make you? is it weird that he has empathy for others? is it weird that he holds empathy for you?

"are you insulting me?"

your head shakes back and forth, fingers prodding at the corners of your book. "not quite, i've just never met someone like you".

"well usually someone having split knuckles is cause for concern".

your face again drops, and the awkward chuckle mark hoped would quell such worries instead died down in his throat. he watches the way you gaze upward then downward, mapping each of mark's features with your tentative eyes. "it's not that big of a deal" you mumble, twiddling your thumbs as you quickly avert your gaze.

you avoid his eyes in the same way a child does when they fear upsetting their parents, your lips curl down into the exact appearance of disappointment.

mark's mouth is completely dry, he doesn't really know how to deal with.. this. he levels at you with a blank stare, attempting to see through you, maybe get into your thoughts and finally figure out why you don't find your knuckles being split being the huge problem it is.

"okay.. um, can you show me the sources you found then?"

mark is trying his best to not make it awkward, how do you not even release a wince at the pain you must be experiencing? you simply engross yourself in that pen and paper once again.

it's a bit difficult to make conversation when all he currently sees are the bruises decorating your hands. he grimaces as if you're some exhibit he isn't fond of, and from the flickers of your eyes he catches in his peripheral vision, you clearly take notice.

"you gonna stop looking at me like that?"

"sorry!" mark is quick to sputter, his blinks as rapid as his response. "i'm sorry it just.. doesn't that hurt?"

a breath falls from your lips, the beginnings of a laugh making it's way up into the air. "it's nothing i haven't felt before".

mark wants to ask again, but he keeps in such urges. again, he's still afraid you'll punch him in the face if he opens his mouth again. mark assumes he just doesn't get it, maybe how you feel is vastly different to how he feels. "can i at least walk you to the nurses office?"

another question, mark feels his stomach curl into something terrible, but instead of the blow up reaction he expects, you simply pause, blinking.

you press your teeth against each other, thinking it over with your eyes trailing the shelves of the library. one click to your pen, a small sigh falling from your lips. "fine.. i guess".

you guess, well that's a start. mark can make well with that.

you gather books as best as you can quickly, shoulders tensing. mark urges to grab your hand, maybe soothe it over with his thumb, but he suppresses such urges in fear of weirding you out (because you already deemed him a 'weirdo').

"you know.. if you ever need to tell someone something, i'm here".

it's a flimsy suggestion, a small uttering mark could only muster with the worry in his heart. you shot him a glance, the abrupt movement of your head almost startling mark backward. you stare, the expression on your face indecipherable, mark wishes he could reach into your mind, pull out your innermost thoughts and figure out exactly why you think the way you do.

your eyes stay narrowed for a moment, simply staring at mark, frozen in front of the nurse's office. you click your tongue, scratching at the start of your sweater. "sure".

sure, sure. it's not a no, that's good. it's not a yes, which isn't exactly assuring. it's a sure. sure. there's a start, it's a beginning.

you don't exactly sound sure, your eyes cast around your surroundings, and your lips sink into your bottom teeth. the anxiety permeating from you is reminiscent of mark's own.

well maybe you two aren't that different.

i'm here if you want to talk, mark repeats in his own head, and he begins biting the skin off his lips.

sure is your response.

it's a good enough response for a start.

THE TITLE OF 'FRIENDS' ISN'T YET ESTABLISHED between you two. you're still an enigma, a mystery, mark is still just the tiniest bit afraid you'll attempt to punch him in the face if he says something you don't agree with. you're an easy person to work with, in comparison to some of mark's other project partners. you two equally split up the workload, you don't mind taking up most of the work, you tell mark it's okay, even with bandages arranged around your bruised knuckles, you could jot down notes about the fucking industrial revolution all day. mark makes out that you don't necessarily enjoy talking, you communicate with your feeble expressions.

again, you two aren't established friends, and considering you only have one ninety minute class together in one whole school day, it would be a turbulent effort to even attempt a friendship.

you can be summed up as simply 'project buddies', there isn't anything more to it, but that's because mark has some fear instilled in him directed towards you. you don't glare, but it still appears that you do.

you continuously scribble in your notebook, biting your fingernails, the same anxious impulses mark finds himself unconsciously doing. day in and day out mark clocks a few more similarities between you two, that's interesting.

you become less of an apparition and more of an actual person, october begins coming to a close, temperatures falling at the rapid rate of the leaves. in the next coming weeks, he'll probably begin wearing jackets.

"i think maybe we should start going to each other's places after school?"

you pause in your dragging when mark brings that up, one click to your pen. you lick your teeth, whole body tensing. "we can't go to my place" you clear your throat. "my parents.."

you stop midway through your own sentence, it's as if you were restrained, unable to utter the rest of it in.. fear? you avoid mark's gaze, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

mark blinks, he sort of expected that answer. another click to your pen, you continue dragging it against your notebook page. mark almost leans over to check what you're doing, but he keeps himself still. you don't have to say more, he doesn't need for you to say more. "oh, it's okay! we can just go to my place".

you remain still. "your parents won't mind?"

mark quickly shakes his head. "they never mind, honestly they keep complaining about how i don't bring people over".

for the first time since mark's met you, a small laugh leaves your lips. "okay.. that's fine".

fine. not good, just fine. maybe it takes a while for you to warm up, mark doesn't mind, he can wait.

you tug at a strand of your hair using your finger, licking your teeth. "is friday good for you?" mark inquires, watching as you again begin vigorously clicking your pen.

you again pause before answering, an indecipherable feeling entering you. mark tries to study you, but he gets nothing, he really is clueless to how you are. "friday is fine" you then say, much too rapidly for it to be authentic. you seem shaky, erratic, it all seems so scary.

mark nods, a final click to your pen. "okay.. after school maybe? we could walk together".

yet another flimsy suggestion, mark only utters such a thing because he doesn't exactly want to pick specific times. it's easier this way, directly after school, you have your last class together, just heading home after it all finished would be fine. it's simple.

you stare at him as if he just grew two heads, your eyes dilated in a freakish fashion. mark finds it staggering, you always stare at him as if he's said something absurd when he offers even the tiniest bit of kindness to you. your eyebrows furrow, simply a look of pure confusion painted on your face.

but even with the torture you seem to be facing in your own mind, you present a neutral smile. "yeah, that's okay".

okay. not good, just okay.

mark thinks he can deal with okay.

the coming friday enters like a freight train, it's a tumultuous crash that is so rapid the world shakes. mark scratches behind his ear, eyes droopy as he simply awaits for the ending of class.

he zones out on the sound of a pen dragging against a notebook page, he doesn't need to crane his head back to know that you're scribbling something into your notebook. he wonders if you're interested in drawing, maybe you enjoy the aspect of art, that seems interesting.

mark wants to ask, but there's always a voice in his head that chastises him for being so curious, the same way his mother used to when he'd ask outlandish questions as a child.

he has to use all of the fight in him to not look back at you, he'd probably get another weird utter from you if he decided to simply turn back and stare, mark isn't stupid, he knows how people are, he knows it's weird to just sit and stare at someone.

one click to your pen.

class dismisses as soon as it begins, and mark almost falls to the floor when he stands up, his exhaustion practically weighing him down. he acts in a strange manner, one that draws a small snicker from you as you observe his behavior.

"you alright there?" mark only sighs, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"i'm fine just.. tired" mark explains, chuckling emptily. you simply stare again, tightening your hold against your backpack. you click your tongue, shoulders still tense as ever. "do you want to come over now or..?"

you nod. "now is fine".

mark makes sure to not show his elation too clearly, just presenting his regular smile as it is to you. he almost grabs your hand, he wants to feel the intertwining of your fingers, but again, you'd probably punch him in the face.

the walk isn't long, mark walks to school every single day, having not skipped a beat ever since freshman year began. you two stroll towards mark's place in silence, the air growing awkward as the autumn air breezes through your hair.

mark clears his throat, taking in a breath. "is your hand getting better?"

it's a trifling inquiry mark only makes out because of the need for conversation, it'd be so much worse if you two were just quiet. mark usually doesn't have a problem with talking to people, but with you, it's just the slightest bit difficult.

you again offer a curt shrug as a response. "it's okay".

okay. wow, you never really give a sure answer. mark wonders if you even know the answer yourself.

"okay isn't really a reassuring answer".

"doesn't matter".

it does to me.

the words hang heavy on mark's lips, but they then die down in his throat, would it be strange to say that to someone you barely even know? someone who probably doesn't consider you a friend in their own indecipherable mind? mark curses himself for harboring such strong feelings towards you, someone whose basically a stranger.

"again, nothing i haven't felt before" you mutter, words hushed in their usual manner. you leave no more room for explanations, going silent as you continue your walk beside him.

mark, though curious, also remains silent, slowly speeding up as he makes out the sight of his house.

you keep your head down when mark opens the door, peaking his head from behind it. "mom! i'm home!"

mark misses the small flicker of jealousy in your eyes, too busy getting attacked by his mother's frenzied affection. you could only stare at the spectacle, keeping your silence.

"oh, and whose this?"

mark blinks, his big eyes widening extraordinarily. "this is y/n, my classmate, were doing a project together".

you again keep silent for a while, clearing your throat as she offers you a smile. "it's nice to meet you mrs. lee".

"oh you're adorable, look at those cheeks!"

you had half a mind to lean back when she pinched your cheek, but you stayed still, even with the tense of your stance. mark snickers behind his hand, finding the sight amusing.

he lets a breath fall from his lips. "were gonna go study in my room, if that's okay.."

"that's fine! don't be afraid to tell me if you need anything!"

she claps her hands happily and ruffles mark's hair, yet you continue staring incredulously, as if the actions were alien. you only nodded, silence again overtaking you as you follow behind mark to his room, smiling at his mother as you walk your way there.

"your mom is nice" you whisper, mark only able to hear it because of the lack of space between you two. you still don't smile, a neutral expression remaining on your face.

mark again chuckles lightly, motioning his head forward as he holds his door open for you. "yeah, everyone says that, you okay though?"

you glance back at him, puzzled. "yeah.. i'm fine".

fine, that has to be a specific buzzword of sorts. mark again blinks, several emotions flaring in his irises. "well i noticed you kinda froze when my mom touched you".

you merely offer a shrug, settling onto the floor and pulling out the several books you'd been reading prior. "i'm just not used to that kind of affection".

mark raises an eyebrow, dropping his backpack onto the ground with a resounding thud, the many books practically shaking the floor. that was an answer didn't really expect. maybe he just doesn't get it, your mom can't be that bad, it's your mom! how could a mother not harbor affection towards her child.

you snap your head up, a look in your eye, as if you were daring him to make a brash comment about your family life. mark gulps in the quietest way possible, smile straining against his lips. "did you get any more notes on the steam engine's origins?"

you reply with a small smile, seemingly pleased he changed the topic.

hours go by with you two simply studying and talking about your topic, the familiar drag of your pen filling the air of mark's room. you didn't bring up anything off topic, it's honestly impressive how long you stayed without getting distracted, but mark assumes it's because you just don't enjoy talking.

you've pretty much given up on the subject at hand, resorting to drawing whatever in your notebook. dark circles begin visibly appearing under your eyes, but you still don't make a comment, simply preoccupying yourself with your mini art pieces.

mark stares, eyes drifting off to his open window, the sun slowly disappearing behind the horizon. he admires the reddish-orange hue of the sky, his lips turning up at the picture.

"what time is it?"

mark's eyes flicker in a sudden shift, and he again glances at you, then at the clock against the wall. "it's almost eight pm".

you sink your teeth into your bottom lip, gathering the books you rested on the floor to again put back into your backpack. one click to your pen, you also let it fall into your pencil case. "i should probably get going now.. thank you for letting me come over".

mark shakes his hand, offering a dismissive wave. "it's nothing, if you want to start doing this more often.. you know my parent's won't mind".

you pause, letting your silence fester as you put on your backpack. you bite your inner cheek, mark can practically hear you thinking. "..maybe" you mutter, staring down at the floor as you begin making your way down the hall, towards the front door.

mark pretty much springs to his feet, he doesn't want to be an impolite guest, his mom always told him that it's nice to walk people out. "or we could just go back to studying in the library".

he really just wants you to be comfortable.

you pause, steps slowing down as you make it to the middle of the living room. your fingers tap against the straps of your backpack, licking your teeth. "i'll think about it, then when i decide i'll tell you".

mark finds himself smiling at that. it's again, a start. "okay, i can wait".

you share yet another neutral smile, but it seems your lips itch to turn up even more, you seem to want to share a genuine smile with mark, but you stop yourself for some reason. "you're so patient".

"i learned from the best".

you again bite your inner cheek, and mark's eyebrow raises, those words appear to displease you.

"oh are you leaving already y/n?"

your displeasure transforms into immediate bliss when mark's mother again enters, blinking. "yeah, it's getting late now".

"do you not want to stay for dinner?"

you again stop in your place, seemingly freezing. mark does the same, parroting your expression with his shoulders tensing. he glances over at you, watching as the inner battle your having in your head plays on your forehead in big bold letters. "um.. i—"

"mark!" his mother chastises, smacking his arm in a manner that draws a small wince. "what are you standing there for? invite your friend over for dinner!"

mark almost wants to utter he's not my friend, but that's just so mean to say out loud. he isn't exactly sure if that's what you would want or not, so his mouth again hangs open like he's some sort of idiot who doesn't know how to speak.

but you break the silence by chuckling silently. "it's okay mrs. lee i wouldn't want to overstay my welcome".

she sucks her teeth, waving a dismissive hand in the same manner mark does. "don't say that! you're welcome here now! have you eaten yet?"

you can only stare incredulously, biting the skin off your lips. "no not really.."

she gasps in horror, her big brown eyes holding a familiar look of worry. "you must be starving then! just stay for a few minutes, yeah?"

you so badly want to decline, mark sees it in the shift you perform, but it's also impossible to decline, you share one glance with mark, then you sigh. "okay.. thank you ma'am".

"don't thank me, i'm simply doing the bare minimum".

you wonder where you've heard that one before.

mark finally snaps out of his daze, a warm smile spreading across his features. "are you really staying?" he inquires when his mom walks back to the kitchen, the volume of his voice merely a small whisper.

"just for a few minutes" you whisper in reply, the straps of your backpack burning into your palm with how hard you're pressing onto it.

mark can barely even hide the bigger smile that threatens to paint his face. that's nice, it's not along the lines of a sure or an okay, it's something more.

maybe it's a step in the right direction.

WHEN MONDAY AGAIN ROLLS AROUND, MARK has way too much on his mind. the crisp october air has just gotten cooler, his heavier sweaters now in need. a few days from now it might begin smelling much more brisk, trees will wither at an even quicker rate, the leaves crunching under his shoes will fly away in the breeze without bidding so much as a goodbye. by the time november comes to a close, mark will have worn out this red sweater he's so attached to. for now though, he's going to wear it every single day, it matches the appearance of the autumn season, he wants to stay on theme (and he also just has a super huge attachment to the sweater).

even after you stayed over for a few extra minutes to have dinner at his house, courtesy of his mother's own magnanimity, you two still don't establish any kind of friendship. he heard you utter a few words about how he clearly inherited that from her, but he feigned ignorance as he focused on eating dinner.

your presentation is next week, the last week was simply full of research questions and many pieces of cardboard scattered across the floor. the librarian finds the sight of you two so mundane that she greets you with a small nod each time you enter.

there's much more studying than there actually is talking about anything else, an unseen work ethic mark usually wouldn't find weird if it wasn't for the morbid curiosity he has for everything.. well— you.

mark stares as you continue jotting, tape on your right hand side you stare at the cardboard folder you two decided to use for your presentation. he's been distracted for a while now, but you're still as focused as ever, it's pretty admirable how dedicated you are to this project.

"do you maybe wanna be friends?"

the tiniest sound of ink dropping onto a paper stops, one click to your pen. you always seem to do that, pause midway through your actions before fully taking his words into account. you always stare at him as if he says something absurd, like he's a crazy person. mark finds each of your actions pretty strange.

"what?"

he claps his hands, nails scratching the back of his own palms. "i don't know.. you've had dinner with my parents already, isn't it weird that we aren't friends?"

you itch to say something, and mark wishes superpowers would be granted to him in this very moment. he can't tell what you're thinking and the irritation begins to seep in as quick as he craves for it to disappear. "unless you don't want to be friends.. i don't mind".

what a terrible liar. he does mind. he fucking minds so much it's going to begin physically paining him soon enough.

you let go of the tense you seem to hold onto, shoulders relaxing as you sink into your chair. "fine, let's be friends then".

you say the words in a manner that indicates you're just the slightest bit weirded out, almost everything about mark seems to weird you out, and maybe it makes mark feel a little insecure.

"what's your favorite season?"

"excuse me?" you narrow your eyes, and mark thinks any courage he could've held in that moment dies down in his throat.

mark blinks, you have no reason to be so terrifying. it must be some skill of yours. "well usually when you make friends with people you get to know them.. i don't really know much about you, it's a start".

a start, there it is again, a start. your tongue clicks against the roof of your mouth, you pull your sleeves over your arms. "what? like twenty questions?"

mark's slow nod is almost barely recognizable. "yeah basically".

you stare for a moment, your silence overtaking you once again. maybe you're just thinking of an answer, maybe you don't think of these things in the way mark does, cogs turn in his brain, and he begins;

"i like summer.. mostly because my birthday is in summer but i've never really been a fan of the cold, it's excruciating to sleep in the summer but i greatly prefer it anyway, it's easier to sleep in heat than trudge to school in thick snow".

when mark releases a final breath, he again glances at you. oh! he just rambled, he just rambled through a response that he basically programmed into his head in preparation for this kind of question.

you again, look at him like he's crazy, but there's a hint of amusement in your expression, your lips threatening to turn up into a grin. "i don't really have a favorite".

mark's face scrunches, that's a boring answer. "okay but if you had to choose, which one would you pick?"

your shoulders again drop, rising into a shrug that isn't exactly of confusion, but something much more complicated. "autumn, it's like the in between season, summer makes my skin feel too clammy and winter is just.. painful".

"painful?"

"i don't really enjoy snow" you begin clicking your pen consistently once more. mark wonders if that's one of your anxious habits, he has some of those as well, he wonders a lot about you. "i guess it can be pretty but it's so cold i just can't help but dislike it".

"valid point".

you hum in response, and mark again smiles. it's pretty nice talking to you about just stupid things like this, hopefully you can share more moments in such a fashion. "do you like history?"

you snort. "not as much as you clearly do".

mark shakes his head for some reason. "i don't really enjoy history i just put a crazy amount of effort into it like i do my other subject.."

"well you have to stay on the principal's honor roll".

mark clears his throat, if he couldn't pinpoint your tone of voice, he would've thought you were insulting him with a show of sarcasm, but it's quite the opposite, there's a show of admiration in that tone of yours, respect. it's flattering, and if mark wasn't still afraid of you punching him in the face, he would've allowed for tease to slip from his lips.

"you're very smart too, just in your own way".

"well i'm much more of a science person" you respond, and mark's eyes widen in a form of daze. he had no idea what he was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.

"science?"

"you seem surprised" you utter, just the faintest hint of surprise on your features as you mirror the look mark gave you seconds prior (save for your eyes widening).

"i don't know, i would've never guessed science".

"i've long finished that class i just.. i find the aspect of science interesting" you pause your consistent clicking of your pen, again beginning to draw out something in your notebook.

mark almost wants to inquire about what you draw on the pages, but he keeps that in the recesses of his mind. "like biology and stuff?"

"physics, chemistry, astronomy, all the bullshit you hate learning about in school" though you focus on the drawing you seem pretty into, you also remember to give as much attention to mark. "it's interesting to research about when there isn't an uptight guy up your ass".

mark snickers at the reply, completely knowing of the teacher you're referring to with that sentence. "mr. cho isn't that bad".

"oh trust me, he is".

you giggle at your own response, the first show of a genuine smile mark sees on your face ever since the first time he met you. "sorry for calling you weird the last time".

shock flickers in mark's galaxy like irises. he wasn't exactly expecting an apology from you, he already got over it (as much as he could with how terrified of you he was). "it's okay, i guess i was being kinda pushy".

"no i was just being difficult, don't blame yourself".

mark wants to but in, yet his mouth clamps shut. he itches to tell you no, to tell you that he just doesn't get you yet, but it's not your fault.

"well were friends now, so it doesn't matter".

when your eyes cast towards him, an unusual shiver runs down his spine, but a smile stays stuck to his face.

after legions of fear, friendship is finally established.

but it's still a little strange. though mark finally knows a few new interesting factoids concerning you (your favorite season is autumn, you have an interest in science, and you aren't as scary as you may seem), you're still a pretty clear mystery.

the rest of the week is spent finalizing your project, there's again less off topic talking again, and mark holds on to that small conversation you originally had in the library for the next few days, looking forward to the next time he can have such a talk with you.

you seem to thrive in silence, so mark doesn't try to force more conversation between you two, when you want to talk to him, you'll talk to him.

but mark still has that itching curiosity which won't go away.

"do you ever worry about someone for no reason?"

mark inquires it to donghyuck on the following friday, the barely warm breeze rushing past them, slightly lifting hairs from their heads. donghyuck blinks, stretching his legs forward onto the rest of the aluminum bleachers. "what do you mean by that?"

mark pauses, he should've expected donghyuck to answer his question with a question. it was all abrupt, flimsy, it wasn't all thought out like most of his inquiries. "i don't know.. sometimes i don't talk much to someone and i still feel like something is going on".

donghyuck raises an eyebrow. "ohh, you're talking about y/n".

mark doesn't even know why he's shocked, out of words, he nods at his response.

donghyuck lets out a breath. "y/n's a pretty stalling guy, he usually doesn't get to the point quickly, you might just be worried because he won't confide in you".

"i mean.. it still feels like there's more there, i can understand if he doesn't want to talk to me but i'm also afraid something more might be going on, you know?"

donghyuck sucks his teeth, offering mark an elbow nudge that seems along the lines of an affectionate gesture. "that might just be because of your naturally aiding impulses, i'm sure if something is going on, y/n just isn't telling you because he doesn't want you to freak".

mark's face scrunches. "i'm not going to freak".

"well then you clearly don't know yourself" donghyuck pats mark on his shoulder, grabbing his backpack and shrugging it over his shoulder. just as mark is about to give yet another brash response, donghyuck quips; "wanna race back to my place?"

before mark can respond, donghyuck leaps off the bleachers and begins sprinting, much to his own dismay. "hey! that's cheating!" he shouts, but donghyuck makes no move of slowing down.

mark curses at his own best friend, trying his best to keep up the pace. "donghyuck!"

all he receives in return is a gleeful giggle.

MARK FIRST MEETS YOUR PARENTS THE FOLLOWING WEEK, an event that was entirely accidental. you guys ace the project, the resounding look of pride from your teacher alerts you of that. the a+ was guaranteed you say, from the moment mrs. lim decided to place you two in a project together she knew it was. still, even with the usually high expectations, mark can barely contain himself, almost hugging you in the aftermath of the whole thing. he isn't sure how he managed to keep it all to himself, but he did, and it's good that he did, he was afraid of making it all more awkward. he was pleased to see a smile blossom on your face, your smile is pretty, it's fitting.

the moment class ends, he makes his way over to you. "we did a good job" he whispers, the volume of his voice barely able to be considered a whisper. he held his hand up, wincing in his own mind as he watches you stare.

but, fortunately for mark, you give him a high five, your hands meeting in a silent slap. for the sheer moment your palms meet, he basks in the feeling of your rough callouses against his soft ones. "you did a good job".

"we did a good job" mark specifies, and you stand up from your place, simply responding with a small nod.

you decide to not argue with him, slinging your backpack over your shoulder. there's a small silence that settles into the air, but then mark again perks up. "do you want to walk home together?"

shock colors your features, an instant look of fear flickering in your eyes. "i— i mean.."

you lick your lips, thousands of thoughts running rampant through your mind. "sure" you reply, feeling mark's heavy gaze directed towards you.

again, it's just a sure, nothing exactly reassuring.

mark tightens his hold on his backpack, a small look in his eye that you actively avoid. he decides to not comment on it, instead letting the silence fester as you two bid farewell to your fellow classmates and begin walking home.

it seems you walk home to school as well, you haven't muttered anything about a bus, or about your parents taking you to and from school. he usually sees you walk in the opposite direction of the bus stop, so he simply assumes you walk home like he does.

he hears you mumble something under your breath, and he narrows his eyes, curiosity peaked by the unintelligible words. he glances at you, eyes full of anxiety. "is everything okay?"

your head snaps up so quickly mark almost squeaks at the sharp movement. your eyes are widened comically, but mark can't even find an awkward chuckle ready to leave his lips, you look terrified, you look.. scared.

"m' fine".

"you sure?"

you don't have to lie to me.

mark decides to keep that one to himself.

"yeah i'm fine" you say, avoiding eye contact and stomping your shoes.

you stop in front of an unfamiliar house, only half the walk towards mark's own place. oh, so you don't live that far away from school. you live closer than mark even does, he guesses he again learned something new about you.

"hey you don't even live that far away" mark says, hoping his smile will somehow brighten your mood. he watches a small flicker of bliss form on your face, and he manages to contain his own elation. "you didn't tell me you lived close by".

you again mutter something unintelligible under your breath, but your tone of voice indicates that you're just the slightest bit afraid once again.

mark is about to ask again when the door swings open, and an unfamiliar woman with a mean look in her eye. she squints at the sight of you, irritation crossing her expression. "i thought you were staying at school late".

the look of fear in your eyes becomes more of embarrassment, but the terror remains. "i um— i messed it up, my projects over".

mark studies her face for a moment, he assumes that's your mother, but he doesn't capture a single resemblance between you two. "crock of shit" she mumbles, her eyes shift erratically, and she clicks her tongue in a manner reminiscent of how you do it.

mark stops as he feels an awkwardness shift in the air, and she finally has half a mind to acknowledge his presence. "do i know you?"

her head tilts slightly, and mark almost jumps back in complete terror. "no i.. mark lee, i'm y/n's friend".

she raises an eyebrow, a chuckle of disbelief being her immediate response. "you have friends?"

you lick your teeth, the irritation in your expression betraying the words on your lips: "i didn't mean to lie" you continue to avoid her eyes, as if afraid she might turn you into stone if you even glance at her face. "i'm sorry".

she dismisses your apology rather quickly. "whatever i don't care.." she almost rolls her eyes, but she seems to stop it. "it's nice to meet you.." she snaps her fingers as her words trail off, and mark realizes she forgot his name already. "mark".

your cheeks tint pink with embarrassment, and you look down at the floor, holding in your breaths. "can i have a few minutes?" you mumble, tutting silently.

she shrugs. "be quick, we have to talk" irritation laces her tone, and she places a performative smile on her face as she glances at mark, the door closing behind her.

mark is almost completely overtaken by his silence, but then you sigh, shoulders relaxing. "was that your mom?"

you mimic her prior shrug, tongue prodding at your cheek. "more or less.." you don't exactly react to those words, simply have an indifferent expression on.

"you don't look like her at all".

the moment the words escape mark, he slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes widening. that has to be offensive in some way, that's absolutely ridiculous to say, if his mom were here she'd smack him on the back of the head for the way he just acted. instead, you reply with a silent chuckle, a small smile painting your face.

"foster parents".

mark blinks. "what?"

"they're my foster parents, not my actual ones" you explain, and mark's heart drops to his feet.

oh. that's the entire expanse of your situation. mark didn't exactly think that would be the case, he doesn't know what he expected, but it definitely wasn't this.

"oh" he voices out loud, gritting his own teeth. "i— i'm sorry i didn't know".

he almost feels guilty in a sense.

for what, though?

"it's alright" you shake your head, shrugging your backpack over your shoulder, your expression of indifference remains. "see you on monday".

mark has no idea how he collects his words. "yeah, see you.."

but mark can't walk home without the feeling of nausea bubbling up in his stomach.

CONTRARY TO YOUR VERY WORDS, YOU DO NOT show up on monday. mark immediately jumps to the worst possible outcome. he isn't exactly sure why he jumped to thinking the worst, he's simply afraid something happened. your.. mothers sharp glare remains permanently framed in his memory, she was absolutely terrifying. when monday flies by with no sight of you, mark almost wants to walk to your place himself, but he keeps himself settled in his own thoughts, he wouldn't want to freak you out. his worries extended towards the day after, the greeting november air only adding to his worries.

now the oncoming cooler air is completely welcomed on mark's part. he enjoys the cold weather more than he has the gall to admit, and his dark red sweater has already been worn out even after only a week of consistently wearing it.

mark entered class on tuesday with a whole wave of nausea overtaking anything else he could've been feeling. when he took his seat, he practically waited to be bestowed with bad news.

he licks his lips as the teacher begins taking attendance, the 'here' he mutters is full of distraught he couldn't tell he was holding.

mrs. lim narrowed her eyes at her clipboard, the click of her tongue bouncing off the walls. "has anyone seen y/n?"

the question is asked out of sheer curiosity, just the slightest hint of worry present in her tone. it's a thing to be absent once, but you're usually only absent once, you're a pretty consistent student in terms of attendance.

her eyes flicker up, and the rest of the class begin their resounding murmurs. mark merely glances around, licking his teeth, additionally sucking his teeth to sell his irritation.

she scrunches her nose, about to ask again when, as if on cue, you walk in through the door. the indifference painted on your face is similar to the one he memorized back on that friday. you blink, avoiding her eyes in the manner of an ashamed child. "sorry i'm late" you mutter, frantically extending your gaze around the whole room.

mrs. lim stares, attempting to read your inner most thoughts. "it's okay just.. you'll get a tardy pass later sit down".

you offer your best nod, lips remained pressed shut as you shuffle towards your seat, avoiding mark's eyes specifically. his gaze trails onto yours, but because he can't see your eyes, he can't read how you feel.

you hang your head low as you take your seat, the familiar dragging of your pen against your notebook page not filling the room. mark feels as if the room is suffocating him whole, your very presence itself strangely scaring him.

"why didn't you show up yesterday?" mark inquires, he really wants make it sound like it's all okay, but his words trail off into an accusing whine.

you pause, shrugging. there's so much exhaustion behind your eyes, as if you've missed out on weeks upon weeks of sleep. "something came up".

you attempt your best shot at walking away from mark, back faced towards him as you walk in the direction of the bathroom.

mark scrunches his face, speeding up his own pace and brushing his shoulder against yours. he can no longer contain his curiosity, you look absolutely terrified of.. something. "what came up?"

"nothing".

"don't lie to me".

mark's expression of worry is now at full affect, his big brown eyes holding anxiety. you manage your best scoff, the grasp on your backpack tightening. your face twitches, the flicker in your eyes betraying the disdain you attempt to face make with.

still, you try to brush him off, shaking your head. "i'm not lying, and besides, it's none of your business".

mark kisses his teeth, a loud sigh now leaving his lips. he clears his throat, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.

you stare, crumbling under his undeniably soft gaze. "i'm sorry" you mumble, immediately looking away from him, eyes shifting uncontrollably. "i just don't want to talk about it" you poke the side of your cheek with your tongue, clasping your hands behind your back.

mark stares down at his feet, biting down into his bottom lip. he scratches at his own fingers, anxious impulses all high and mighty. "it's alright, i— um.. do you wanna go get ice cream?"

you blink, sucking your teeth. you scratch the back of your neck, and mark has no idea why he asks that question, he just knows ice cream usually makes him feel better, maybe it's the same for you.

"ice cream? in november?"

"ice cream always helps people feel better".

you offer a small chuckle at that, head turned down as you nod.

mark smiles, he can't believe that worked. your walk to the local ice cream parlor is silent, clear fatigue still present under your eyes. you lightly shiver at the cold breeze that rushes past you, a faint mutter from mark questioning if you two should even be going to get ice cream in the first place.

"you're the one who suggested we get ice cream" you breath out, making no indication that you were against the idea of getting ice cream after school in the beginnings of winter. "i don't mind".

"but i just want to make sure".

the words seemingly appall you, and mark realizes that most of his words seem to have that effect on you. you again fester in your silence, tongue licking at your lips as you catch sight of the nearby ice cream parlor. "it doesn't really matter.."

why doesn't it matter? why is it so strange that i care about you y/n?

the words don't escape mark, they simply fizzle out into the air as the screeching of the open door instead meets his ears. mark is quick to smile as you two walk into the ice cream parlor, his humming immediately filling the air.

"i kind of see ice cream as a comfort thing because it reminds me of summer.." mark mutters, licking his spoon stained with the cookie dough flavoring.

you don't eat right away, simply stab your spoon into your pile of vanilla. "how can something so cold be so comforting?"

just look at you.

you suck your teeth, as if sensing his thoughts, the ice cream brightens your mood in just the slightest, he can see it in the way your eyes flare up. at least he momentarily got it, at least there's at least a sliver of happiness there.

"everything cold is comforting in summer".

"it's going to begin snowing soon" you smack your lips at the taste of vanilla on your tongue, it's just.. vanilla. "might get a brain freeze".

"worth it for the sugar".

now that, that draws a small snicker from you, your lips finally turning up in a display of ecstasy. maybe it isn't you finding that funny, but it's you finding mark's delivery to be blissful. your head tips down as you attempt to stifle your laughter, but you can't exactly hold yourself together.

mark stares at the prospect, his lips turning up unconsciously as his gaze is stick onto you, and how you look.. pleased.

mark can't even contain it. he loves seeing you be happy.

which then results in his mind retracting, he thinks back to the sight of your mother's angry face, and his lips turn downward.

maybe you were gone because something happened at home, mark can really do nothing but assume.

"sacrificing your well being for sugar? that's so.. strange".

"sugar is a good coping tool" mark breaths, throwing out the ice cream that he finished rather quickly.

you simply hum in reply, clearly not believing those words, but letting mark have the win anyway.

"hey y/n?"

you blink, your gaze slow as you stare down mark. mark clears his throat, swallowing his own fear. "i want you to talk to me.. okay? i don't mean to come off as pushy or annoying or nosey i just want to make sure you're alright, i'm not going to bite or anything".

you opt to awkwardly chuckle at that last bit, again shrugging your backpack over your shoulder. "i know.."

mark's face scrunches, he still doesn't really have you, you're still pretty withdrawn. "you don't have to tell me about everything just.. you know i'm here, if you ever need someone to talk to—"

"you'll be my first choice, don't worry" you finish the next half of your sentence with your own words, words that can't be feigned honesty, as you avoid mark's eyes in the process.

the words strike something.. different in mark. is it maybe bliss? some undiscovered form of happiness? he doesn't exactly know the name, even if it feels as if it's on the tip of his tongue, but he's pleased for now. there's trust that's been established between you two, you trust mark.

"okay, okay" mark heaves a breath, his smile sticking to his face.

you seem to like his smile, because your pupils dilate at the sight of it.

maybe it isn't exactly the ice cream that helped you feel better, but mark can't figure out that it might be him that's your cure.

FRIENDSHIP ALSO MEANS HAVING TO SPEND time with each other, something that seems easy enough. "spending time" simply equates to mark talking and you listening. again, you don't exactly enjoy talking, so you leave all of it to him. mark talks to death about himself, his life, his dad, his mom, stuff you probably don't find interesting, but keep circulating through your mind. mark can hear the disdain you must be feeling, because all he does is talk about his stuff. he doesn't think he would enjoy that if it was someone else, but you really don't seem to mind, as long as you don't need to do the talking.

"do i talk about myself too much?" mark abruptly inquires, head whipping towards you in an instant. your gaze is fixed on the ground, and you opt to sucking your teeth as a silent response. "it's alright, you can be honest".

you snicker at that. "you're a very.. thoughtful person".

mark narrows his eyes. what is that supposed to mean?

"you think a lot, there's simply so much on your mind" you clarify, tongue dragging across your teeth. "i don't mind if you talk, it's how i learn".

"learn about..?"

"you, what you like, how you are, talk all you want it's okay".

mark straightens himself, hands dropping into his lap. "i want you to talk".

you raise an eyebrow. "what?"

"talk about yourself, i know enough about me, why don't you tell me about you?"

"i'm not that interesting" your quick to say, fingers beginning to pick at your own individual nails. when mark sends you a look, you follow up on your words; "really i'm not, don't look at me like that".

mark takes in a deep sigh, carting a hand through his light brown hair. "it doesn't matter".

you bite into your cheek. mark parroted your own words to signal at least.. something, reaching out to you might be a challenge, but mark isn't going to stop trying.

you contemplate, eyes heavy lidded. "i mean— why are you at the police station so much?"

the police station. that's where you two first met, you raise your shoulders into a performed shrug. your dark sweater paralleling the color of your eyes, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip. "my parents are assholes".

the words are said surely, there isn't indifference there, there is no dissatisfaction behind your eyes, you know what you're saying, you don't even mind what you're saying.

mark could never say such a thing, let alone say them about his parents.

"oh".

mark clears his throat. "you're a foster kid? how does that work?"

mark knows how it works, he just needs to see how the terms spill from your lips. "they just drop me into another home when my other foster parents get sick of me, adoption is useless so i just stay with strangers who get paid monthly that don't care".

mark isn't sure what he expected, but it wasn't that. his mouth remains dry, what is a regular response to exposition like that? he scratches at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, guilt again in the air.

"sorry, i really know how to ruin the mood".

"no no! it's okay, i'm the one who asked".

"still, didn't need to make it all.. depressing".

"i mean— it is pretty depressing" mark scratches at his own knees, smile awkward. "but sometimes that's just how life decides to treat us".

us is a bit of a shallow way to put it, mark doesn't understand your circumstances, he's never faced any of what you face. "i'm sorry, i wish i could do something".

"you need to stop apologizing".

"but—"

"stop" you suck a breath between your teeth, hands placed symmetrically at your sides.

"alright, sorr.." he pauses when you raise an eyebrow, the beginning of his second apology forcing itself back down his throat. "okay".

you just barely hold back your shiver, the fall air rushing past you in a speed reminiscent of the ocean. "shit like that isn't your fault, i get you're.. you care, i know, but you don't have to apologize".

mark opts to awkwardly chuckle. "i don't really know what else to say.."

"you're a nice person to be around".

the words are enough to get a pause, but you don't exactly mind it, you said those words with conviction, as if you had previously thought them out and were completely sure of what they entailed.

or maybe you can secretly sense the effect they have, because mark isn't exactly the best at hiding the formations of his newest expressions. his eyes light up, the shine of the sun peeking behind the clouds amplifying the pleasure he recedes from the compliment.

your lips turn up by in the slightest, and you suck a breath between your teeth as you patiently await his response.

"oh" mark breaths, clearing his throat as he lets the strange feeling in his stomach settle away. "thank you.."

you don't reply, your smile simply mundane. you again kiss your teeth, mark's fingers fiddling at his necklace. "i.. uh— another thing i'm pretty interested in astronomy".

the mutter is half said, the rest of your words trailing off into something barely intelligible. mark's eyes dazzle in intrigue, astronomy is pretty interesting. "you like space?"

"i love space" you shake your head in disbelief at your own words. "it's pretty, the stars, the planets, just.. all of it is beautiful".

"and deadly".

now that one is a surprise, because you aren't able to stifle your laughter, your head shaking as a display of your amusement. "well yeah but that can be said for many things".

mark's eyes again dazzle, his own intrigue building up at the reply. "that's what makes a lot of the world interesting".

your eyebrow raise in a parroting of mark's own intrigue. "more like it's what makes it terrifying".

"terrifying can be interesting".

"i never said it couldn't".

your knees knock together, an indecisive look in your eye. you pull your sleeves over your arms when you begin noticing the goosebumps, a sigh leaving your lips immediately. "it's fine if you talk, i don't mind".

mark has no idea why, but he feels that those words are a lie. "it doesn't get repetitive?"

your expression falters for a simple moment, but instead of speaking, you keep your words to yourself. you shake your head silently, hands placed into your lap.

there's a moment of silence again, mark carefully crafts his next words, straightening his posture as he keeps his gaze trained straight ahead. "do you like drawing?"

seamless segway.

it would be seamless if mark wasn't shaking so much, maybe it was dumb of him to forget his sweater, but in his defense, it was warm in the morning! he would've been sweating on the way to school.

mark thinks if he focuses enough, he'll be able to hear the familiar continuous clicking of your pen in the background.

he again shudders, a small breath leaving his lips.

when you glances back at you, you smoothly slip your sweater from your arms and hand it over, slightly startling mark back. your face remains still, your gaze averting in an instant. "take it".

mark blinks dumbly.

you suck your teeth. "your cold, take it, you can give it back to me tomorrow".

"y/n—"

"you're not walking home cold.." you mutter, simply placing the sweater in mark's lap as you watch him again involuntarily shudder. "i'll be okay, don't worry about me".

mark wants to argue, but you leave no room for that, stubbornly crossing your arms. he takes the sweater and mutters a silent "thank you" 

a somewhat ggressive act of kindness, mark guesses that's pretty fitting for the kind of person you are.

he still tries to get you to open up, and slowly, it seems to be working.

"i know you hate snow" he comments whilst you two walk down the hallway that friday. he tightens the grip he has on his bag, a small smile on his face as he pictures the upcoming winter. your hum is a usual response, a simple sound mark has to focus to even catch. "how do you plan to survive winter?"

you snicker silently, again humming. "can't do anything but walk".

"you better have good boots".

"i have good boots, maybe not a good jacket, though".

he's about to ask for clarification when the spawn of satan decides it's his time to shine; "markie!"

mark flinches when donghyuck comes around the corner, bouncing on his heels as he makes his way over to mark. mark's loud sigh ricochets off the walls of the hallway. "that's the bane of my existence.." he mutters towards you, and you chuckle lightly.

"you're so sweet to me" donghyuck's smile is strained, but he doesn't focus all his attention on mark that often. his eyes flit over towards you, and there's immediate intrigue there. "and you must be the famous y/n!"

the volume of his voice causes for your face to strain, but you keep it all together as to not offend him. you glance everywhere before again focusing on his face, a small smile showing up on your lips. "famous is.. probably pretty dramatic".

donghyuck exchanges a knowing look with mark, who blushes and clears his throat whilst feigning ignorance at that glance. he extends his hand towards you, whistling. "well with how mark is, it seems you are".

he snickers, and mark just barely keeps himself from punching the younger. you shake your head as you too shake his hand, avoiding mark's eyes. "okay then, it's nice to meet you.."

"donghyuck".

"donghyuck, nice to meet you".

mark watches the interaction with wide eyes, his mind rushing with a flurry of thoughts. "i can't believe this is our first time meeting! it's been a while since you two became friends huh?"

friends is a weird word, but you don't exactly comment on it. "yeah, mark has mentioned you before he just never said your name".

mark blows a breath between his lips, unaware of why his anxieties are suddenly rising. you glance at him, practically sensing the presence of his anxiety. mark almost jumps, but he manages to keep himself together. "i have to get home early, i'll see you monday".

you don't exactly seem sure of those words, but your smile makes it all look fine. "it was nice meeting you donghyuck".

the other only hums, you two exchanging smiles as you begin your way down the hallway, smile dropping once you get a wise distance away from them.

mark keeps the silence before donghyuck pipes up; "isn't he cute?"

mark chokes on his own spit, his face noticeably scrunching up as he glances in his childhood friends direction. "what?"

"don't tell me you've never thought it before" donghyuck snickers, affectionately nudging mark as an uncertain smile tugs at his lips.

"i haven't! you're so.. strange".

donghyuck narrows his eyes, clearly he doesn't believe such words. "okay mark, i'll believe that for your own sake".

and mark can't register why he assumes he's lying, donghyuck is just crazy.

donghyuck is just crazy.

OKAY, NOW THAT IT'S BEEN MENTIONED, MARK can't exactly stop thinking about it. donghyuck can be so stupid sometimes, but maybe it's somewhat justified. he never really took the time to focus on your facial features in specific, and he guesses that laying awake at three in the morning is the perfect time to focus on them. mark noticed everything, nose freckles, moles, the shape of your eyes, the curve of your lips, your dark brown irises, he usually picks off the physical traits of those he's meeting for the first time with stark detail in his own mind. he really never did think about it, but now he has all the time too.

are you cute? mark's eyes stick to the photos decorating his walls, the figures shrouded in darkness without the light of the sun permeating through the window aiding in producing the shin they so clearly require.

yeah, you are. mark isn't over admitting when he finds a guy cute, you can easily be described as such. there's something about the flicker of your eyes that entices him, but that's just.. strange.

he opts to rolling over, staring at his alarm clock nestled onto the bedside table. being kept up because you're stuck pondering about whether you're friend not friend is cute is absolutely idiotic. since when has this happened before?

that question is also idiotic, it hasn't.

he pulls the covers over him and nuzzles against his pillow, feigning ignorance to his flurry of thoughts with a sigh as he keeps the pattern of your moles pictured in his head.

thanksgiving breezes past just as it always does every year, donghyuck's family again comes over for the festivities ('festivities' equaling the sharing of meals while the two scarf down pretty much everything in the kitchen), but mark stays unfocused even with a bunch of people other than you around him.

then the end of november speed runs until mark's face scrunches at the upcoming first day of december.

december is too cold, there's no foresight of ice on the ground, no snow ready to sneak up on everybody just yet, but he doesn't care, he can already feel the grimace ready to be painted over his features.

and as the cold breeze balls up it's fist into an open punch, mark takes a small breath;

you said you hate winter.

mark gets it, but it's less of you hating winter and more of mark constantly thinking of.. well— you.

again, he doesn't exactly need to take history, the class is as useless to his academic record as it is interesting, but mark won't continue complaining, he's terrified mrs. lim can secretly read his mind.

"what class are you taking next semester?" mark whispers, leaning back in his seat as the widening of his eyes is in tune with his complete interest.

your shoulders rise in a puzzled shrug, the familiar drag of your pen now right in mark's ear. you don't make an effort to glance upward, but mark is aware you're paying adequate attention anyway. "not sure, they always tell me after, what are you taking?"

mark decides to completely scoot backward, the crack of knuckles causing for your face to scrunch. "computer programming".

there's a beam in your eyes. "as a senior?"

mark's snicker is a result of your tone. "it's for last minute credits, just like this class.."

"ah".

you again engross yourself in whatever it is you're doing in your notebook, mark attempts to sneak a glance, but you seem to sense his eyes, as you flip the page upward where his eyes can't meet it.

well shit, you caught him.

yet you don't mutter a single word about the event which just transpired, you simply continue with the similar drag of your pen.

at this point, the sound is a puzzling solacing noise for mark. he'll never utter such words loudly though, it's strange to admit that the sound of someone drawing in their notebook has become a sense of comfort for you.

mark sometimes wonders how deep the corners of his mind expand. "finals week is coming up".

you hum in reply, nodding your head, pen seemingly having a mind of it's own. mark glances over, unable to decipher the gleam of your eyes. it could be irritation, or maybe it's satisfaction, you're confident in the strength of your brain, it doesn't seem like you would struggle.

your eyes flit up for a moment, and then you snicker for a reason completely unknown to mark. "you nervous?" he decides to quip.

another hum. "always, but i trust most of my intellect".

"you should, you're very smart".

the compliment is spontaneous, an abrupt uttering that you clearly weren't expecting, as heat coils against your skin, the reddish tint clashing with your once vain cheeks. your lips part, the dragging of your pen subsides. you then glance away as you clear your throat, blowing smoke through your lips.

"i'm sure you'll be fine" mark finally finishes, big eyes bugging out as he decides to avert his gaze. "don't give me that look, i've observed, you have one of the highest grades in the class".

"it's all just.. nothing".

mark decides to snicker. "not nothing, you have the ability".

"i guess i'll take your word for it" tease lingers on your tongue. "smartest kid in class after all".

there, now you two are even. you just complimented mark with words that he hears from people everywhere, but hearing them from you is what gets a stupid smile out of him. "oh.. well i don't know about that one".

mark tucks a strand behind his ear, the slightest bit of meekness displayed by his eyes. your eyes flitter upward, and the curve of your lips is satisfying. "yeah you do, you're smart, honor roll smart".

"i would say you're the same".

you long to take those words as a challenge, mark notices a certain burning in your eyes, but you opt to a small smile instead. "not enough for honors".

"well i think so".

and maybe, that's the only thing that matters. your face appears to light up, but you decide it's best to not comment on such a thing.

as the colder days approach, mark learns even more about you he doesn't exactly expect.

and it all comes through smoking.

"what?"

you seem amused by the inquiry asked of you, and mark's eyes widen in their usual jolted fashion, his hands clutching at his sides. you seem to look through him, humor still present in your tone as you reply; "did you just.. you smoke?"

mark clears his throat, eyes immediately averting, his gaze zeroing in on the visible air he can see being blown through his lips. "it's like a— um, anxiety tick thing, sometimes when i get overwhelmed it helps".

you bite into your cheek, shoving a hand into your pocket as you rummage for a while, pulling out a lighter which you shake in air, listening to the clinking of the metal. mark's eyes again bug out, a usual reaction for him, his expression reminiscent of a child hearing someone swear for the first time. "oh.. so you smoke?"

you pass the lighter, whistling in the air as you nod. "yeah, same thing really, it's not regular or anything i just sometimes need to let go".

mark longs to ask why, and you practically read his mind with the words displayed all over his face. "my parents are such amazing stressors, it'd be a shock if i didn't smoke at this point".

he can only stare, blowing smoke out from his lips as he watches it form in front of him. "it gets bad for me during exam season, finals get to my head and i can't resist".

"your parents don't know?"

mark shakes his head rapidly back and forth, a snicker falling from his lips. "nope, i think they would kill me if they found out.. can't let them know".

you opt to once again humming, shoving the lighter back in your pocket as your nose scrunches. you scratch behind your ear, howling winds earning the slightest shiver from you. "ah, i see".

mark keeps himself silent, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he stares forward, his eyes then falling to the ground. it's bare, empty, the sight of snow may meet his eyes in the coming days, maybe tomorrow even, the weather has always been know as unpredictable, a snowstorm could happen tonight, mark is afraid of that one.

"please don't tell anyone" mark whispers, eyes still cast downward. it's embarrassing, not even donghyuck knows that he does, and he's sure donghyuck is a smoker himself. he isn't exactly sure why.. he just knows what the reaction would be. "it's.. um, i don't know actually, feels like everyone thinks of me as a certain person so if they were to find out—"

"i won't tell" you state immediately, raising your pinky. "you have my word" is your next collection of words, mark blinks at you with shining eyes.

a pinky promise? he isn't sure what he expected, but he guesses they are the closest thing to a legally binding agreement.

mark intertwines his pinky with yours, the clash of your fingers together something of a prospect. your finger is rough, his are soft, he can't help but keep that fact tucked away in his mind. "pinky swear?"

"pinky swear".

mark decides he will take your word for it.

he supposes pinky swears do a lot for people, as long as the promise isn't broken, he won't have a reason as to not trust you.

IT'S A WEEK BEFORE FINALS WHEN MARK REALIZES yet another thing he doesn't exactly mean to discover. your simply.. esteemed love for thai food is a prospect he didn't exactly expect, but with a week until finals and the end of the year breathing down your neck, he guesses learning more about you is the right way to go. he wonders if there'll be many more turns to take in the future, he wonders how much truly runs through your heads. through picking your nails and raising eyebrows, he's already been able to decipher a lot, maybe he could just learn more if..

"do you know any good thai restaurants nearby?" he inquires, arms placed idly as he again admires your side profile. you hum, scratching at the sleeves of your sweater. it's a pretty one, the hue is a dark red, mark is curious on if the shades of red are your favorite, he forgets to ask.

your snort is short. "not in this town, it's a distance away from here, used to go regularly as a kid, it'll never get old.."

"so it's like.. a place of comfort?"

"basically" you reply, getting comfortable in your chair. it's the midway point of the period, the class is doing nothing but studying for finals next week, it leaves room for flurries of conversations mark otherwise wouldn't have been able to have with you.

it's nice, discussions flow a little easier between you two now that you've gotten slightly closer. though skepticism remains at an all time high (mark picks up on the mutters you occasionally let slip about your parents, something along the lines of fighting, loose funds, substances, his eyebrows keep furrowed), mark finds the now regular talks a fond juncture.

he rests his head onto his fist, scratching at his jaw with mid length nails. "when was your last visit?"

you shrug despite clearly knowing your response, arms coming to fold over your chest. "i haven't gone since high school began, makes sense because that's when i got put with.. them".

'them' equating to your current foster parents, mark unconsciously slides downward in his seat, anxiety rising. he observes the twitching of your left eye, a sight almost frightening.

"do you— um.. can you go again?"

your right eye closes, a sign of your contemplation. "they're.. my parents, they're crazy".

"have you never attempted to sneak?"

you chuckle, seemingly amused. "really? sneaking? i would've never thought that from you".

"i took part a few times, you could thank donghyuck for that one" mark keeps his head leaned sideways, it's easy to admire your features in this manner. you have a nice side profile, the left of your jaw perfectly highlighted in the lighting of the room. your lips curve upward at the reply, enjoyment behind your eyes.

"oh, i see, you're that kind of pair".

mark longs to figure out the meaning of those words, but you once again begin whistling, arms folding over your chest.

a specific question keeps echoing in mark's mind.

"you could.. uh— why don't we go together?"

you blink, dumbfounded. you study mark for a moment, and he suddenly feels unconscious under your gaze. you then silently snicker, just the slightest bit amused. "what?"

his hands find purchase on the desk before him, eyes avoiding yours, throat clearing. "um.. i just— i don't know, you seem to be fond of the place, wouldn't visiting be nice?"

your eyes narrow. "you're so.. wow, okay".

you chuckle, hiding your oncoming expression behind the cover of your own hands. mark remains anxious at the lack of a reply, nails coming to scratch at his hands. "is that a no?"

"no, no! you're just.. too sweet" you opt to reply, laughter carrying you through. mark feels heat coil over his cheeks, he's sure that it may manifest in color which permeates his skin, but he can't exactly think about that.

"oh, um— i.."

"while i would love to go" you begin, smoothing your hands over your jeans. "that's implying i have to sneak out".

oh, mark can't believe how dangerously impulsive he is.

but instead of a snark, you smile, it's small, yet it results in genuine ease sinking into mark's anxiety ridden heart, his hands coming to clasp together. "that was a dumb thing to say right? i'm sorry, forget i even said anything".

you contemplate for a moment, mark's anxiety again rising as your silence merely continues. "that's a good idea, it'd be nice to go before it starts snowing".

mark almost dies, was that just a yes?

you seemingly read his mind, because your lips do a swift upturn. "i guess i wouldn't mind sneaking out".

mark blinks, attempting to properly register the words without looking like a crazy person. "i didn't— i mean.. you don't have to, i don't want to get you in trouble, if it does—"

"doesn't matter" you cross your arms, leaning back in your seat. "at this point, getting grounded is a blessing for me, it's not that far a walk".

"are you sure?"

you lick your teeth. "i've been conditioned to hide my money better, they barely pay any attention to me".

mark digests the depression littering those words, but you keep up appearances, preventing the dejection from blossoming up in your features. there's shy disappointment behind your eyes, yet you don't comment. "i'm sorry.."

your head snaps in his direction rather quickly. "for what?"

mark shakes his head in reply. "i.. um—"

"don't apologize for something that isn't your fault".

mark bites his tongue before he allows for another apology to slip, your eyebrow raise simply enough to shut him up. you remain the slightest bit terrifying, even after established friendship. "can't help it.."

he picks at his nails, feeling the burning sensation of your eyes on the spot. he guesses his anxiety is really that permeable, and he longs to change the topic. "let's just hope the grades are good, yeah?"

"are you saying you wanna be study buddies?"

"i mean.. that's sort of how our relationship began" one click to your pen, mark tilts his head at the sight of your notebook. it's a simple hardcover, no label, a blank dark shade, yet it seems to carry a large entailing of significance, just like the pen, it has to contain something of an emotional connection to you, maybe, similarly to mark, you form attachments to even the smallest of things.

the use of the word 'relationship' earns a puzzling manner of expression, as if you have to rethink how you two interacted before the establishment of.. your now larger bond.

"that's cute".

you again open your notebook, yet another click to your pen as you begin.. something. mark has never been courageous enough to inquire about it to you, but he assumes there's some length of artistic expression in your personality, or maybe you just really enjoy writing, or you just scribble back and forth. really, mark can't assume what he doesn't know, and maybe you just don't want to divulge such a thing, he doesn't mind.

he simply observes, staring for long enough that you catch sight of it through your peripheral vision. "you'll do well, alright?"

you glance over at him, as if puzzled by the sudden reassurance. mark almost worries that you'll punch him in the face, his mind really needs to stop going down that route. "alright, let's hope you give me your luck".

MARK IS SURE HE COULD PERFECTLY RECITE EVERY SINGLE printed word in the several textbooks he's been staring at with nothing but pure disgruntlement for these past few days. there's a flurry of muddled information swirling around in his brain, he's afraid he might be taking a history quiz and begin scribbling down the formula of quotient entities. the many trigonometry equations have begun rotting him from the inside out, you've practically been an angel of a study buddy for these past few days, even despite the many whispers you let slip about you sleeping through pretty much all of trigonometry. you have strikingly straight notations, not even a letter out of place, penned compositions littering each page.

he can barely help the upturn of his lips.

"didn't you take trig last year? you're supposed to remember these things".

mark keeps his forehead pressed to the desk, the cool air just barely disturbing him. "trig is pretty much useless, math isn't my strong suit".

your eyebrows furrow. "you still got an a".

mark scoffs. "wow, thanks for supporting me with my endless struggle".

your chuckles now appear much more vibrant, some timidity remains, but it's better than how it all was in september, the change jumps out to mark, you're just so—

"you sound defeated, don't worry mark, you're still honor roll smart".

his heart constricts for a moment, and while he would usually be worried he was experiencing some length of a health risk, he knows it isn't that (but he guesses you could result in a heart attack, you're simply very..), but he can never be too sure.

your handwriting is irritatingly neat, nothing of an observable mistake despite pen clearly being used. is it the same pen? do you keep pens? do you like pens? his intrigue towards you could extend for miles, but he lets it stay inward no matter what.

your eyes gleam with the light of an indescribable entity. "do you.. would you still want to go out to eat on friday?"

mark blinks, contemplating despite the very much known answer. "yeah, i brought it up, if it makes you happy.."

"well you should also think about yourself, if you don't want to go—"

"no, no! i do" mark unfortunately can't arise much excuses for his sudden enthusiasm. he notices the amusement on your own features, but he doesn't make a comment. "besides, we won't see much of each other next week, and then the break will come right after".

winter break is usually its own blessing in mark's eyes, but there's this strange installment of fear this year. he isn't sure the extent your parents go, no signs of anything physical that he can see, yet he worries about you just having to be there for a length of almost two weeks. from what he's observed, school seems to be your only source of escape from whatever goes on at home, and he's aware that a student's safe place being school is typically a bad sign.

but maybe that's too much to just tell you right off the bat, you might think he's crazy, you probably already think he's a little crazy.

"aww, you're gonna miss me".

and mark is unsure of why, but a red hue strikes his formerly vain skin, it's simply mindless teasing, yet he can't help his flustered nature. jesus, he might actually have a heart attack, why did the room suddenly spike in temperature?

if you notice, you make no comment. oh that must've been a good ego boost.

"yeah um.. we've really come a long way since september".

he's sounding a little too sentimental, a break really is nothing, mark guesses donghyuck was right, he does care way too much, even so, he feels it's justified. you stare for a moment, scribbling something in your notebook as your gaze averts. "thanks for not giving up on me, even if i was an unbearable asshole in the beginning".

"don't say that" mark softly chides.

"it's pretty true, you can admit it".

he clears his throat, smile displayed. "so are you gonna come to me friday?"

you nod. "if i don't get caught".

mark doesn't mean to showcase his anxiety in the manner of his expression switch, but hiding his lingering fright has proven him extremely difficult, his mother said it's 'detrimental' to commit such an act.

you tilt your head. "are you okay?"

mark nods much too quickly, rendered somewhat speechless. "fine".

the rest of the day is surprisingly less awkward than he expects.

the week completely exhausts mark, he could probably hang onto his own eye bags at this point. though you feign bright normalcy, it's obvious that you're just as tired, you'll both be wiped out after finals.

yet you seem pretty lighthearted.

"you sure walking is just fine?"

"we could hop the train".

a small frown tugs at mark's lips, but the joke isn't exactly distasteful. "i've never gotten that far" the overcast sky clashes with your dark jacket, it's somewhat of a picturesque image, your best features are explicitly highlighted, even with the shadowed sunlight.

"really? i did once in eighth, the conductor let us off at the middle of nowhere, we got a terrible scolding after that one".

mark's eyebrows furrow, there's a lack of context in that reply, as if you said it to yourself instead of to mark. "us?"

your nose scrunches for a minute. "old foster friend, i used to do everything to get in trouble, he'd tag along for the adventure of it".

"oh".

mark doesn't mean to extend the silence, but talking isn't anything of an accord to you, it's easy to sink into a fit of silence, nothing of a bother.

things appear so young and innocuous outside, sometimes mark believes that nature could be the perfect picture of innocence, if it didn't also harbor an equal opportunity of available danger. he shivers, almost slipping on ice which lays dormant on the floor, no snow yet.

mark wishes he could have not a care in the world, and judging by your circumstances, you clearly do too.

the place is a way's walk, but mark guesses it was good to get in some steps. it appears pretty homely, somewhat aged, the walls are cracked, tiles exposed, and from the captured glimpse of the menus, they're old laminated ones.

you stare with fondness, the smell bringing a sense of warmth to you, as if the place healed your scars. "basically, this place is my home".

"is the food up to par?"

"you don't even have to ask".

mark chuckles, and you can't resist your own corresponding chuckle.

"y/n? is that you?"

at the call of your name you blink, smiling right away. it's an older woman, early fifties probably, her jaw hanging in a manner of recognition. "oh you're so big now!"

"hi mrs. saeng" you don't step away, instead you allow for her to fully embrace you, mark simply observing. "sorry, i know last time i said my next visit would be soon".

"oh it doesn't matter, you're still so adorable!" she squeals as she cups your cheeks, completely rendering you speechless. "and your friend is..?"

"mark" you just barely speak through the squeezing of your cheeks. "he's my classmate".

the woman smiles, a huge, homely smile that strikes comfort mark wasn't exactly expecting. his hands come to clasp in front of him, the typical sweet smile taking over his features. "hi, it's nice to meet you".

she gapes in her spot. "he's even cuter than you! oh my goodness look at his cheeks!"

your nose scrunches up in offense, yet it's clearly feigned. "cuter than me? that's rude to say auntie!"

she crazily fawns before you sit, and as you observe the laminated menus which appear on their last lives, your lips take an upturn, but not at a specific thing, simply at them. "auntie?" he inquires.

you snicker. "there's no relation, she's just an old family friend".

auntie by association, mark guessed that one, he again didn't recognize any sort of relation between you two.

and really, it seems you haven't eaten in a while, mark can't help but observe the tiny things. "did you have breakfast this morning?"

you pause, pretending you are genuinely contemplating something. he's pretty sure you burn your tongue midway through inhaling the bouts of food, yet that seems to be the last of your worries, he can't help the goofy laughter which escapes him at that. "it upsets my stomach".

mark doesn't bother inquiring about lunch, his gaze immediately softening. "you need to make sure you always eat, okay?"

you stare, mark supposes the words appear a bit shallow. sometimes people can barely get out of bed, not even able to roll over to throw off their covers, or fold their blankets, or they find themselves rendered so exhausted that mundane tasks extract so much energy.

but it seems you reply with a soft gaze of your own, radiance carrying your expression. "okay".

mark hums, leaning back in his seat. "so what is this place to you?"

you don't even glance upward. "special spot, it holds good memories, from way before everything that's happened.. well— happened".

"you brought me to your special spot, so i'm special?"

you finally do spare a glance, your smile is one of the prettiest sights ever. "of course".

a smile blossoms over his features, his posture unconsciously straightening. he isn't sure why the news excites him so much, he'll internalize it though.

WHEN IT GETS TO A CERTAIN POINT, MARK IS UNSURE OF HOW HE LIVES through the week. he has always prided himself on his intelligence, it isn't the topics which perturb him, it's the extent of his own mind. his eyes grow heavier with each passing day, his wrists may have gone limp, but he doesn't pass out just yet, a good record in comparison to last year. it's simply exam after exam after exam, blue pen marks clashing in the visions of his dreams. he can't even close his eyes without seeing muddled geometric equations, he's going to begin reciting them in the startling mumbles midway through one of his sleepwalking episodes. it's a miracle how he makes it through finals week, but he does, possibly no bad markings.

the exams happen to be the least of his issues though, throughout his week, he was mainly stuck on christmas, specifically stuck on christmas gifts, specially stuck on christmas gifts for you.

again, you two only have one double period class together, and the week is full of packet after packet, nothing of a technical interaction going down. the somewhat date-y nature of your restaurant outing comforted him through the piercing manner of trigonometry, he guesses it's pretty funny.

mark's mind reverts back to the many moments of you scribbling with your pen in your notebook, the specific mini sketches you have kept placed beside your trig notations, and it becomes clear what he should get you as a gift.

when the week finally comes to a close, mark is simply glad that he's alive, glad that the information didn't all mix into mush, glad that he got a seemingly perfect gift for you.

"okay, how do you think you did?"

a scrunch of your nose is the opted response, but you don't seem any worried. "it should all be fine, i think all the information seeped into my brain".

the reply draws a chuckle, mark allowing for his head to tip downward. "you're probably the reason i passed, have some faith in yourself".

"hey, you have to give yourself some credit too, you're pretty much a genius".

mark, again, blushes. he doesn't mean for it all to shine through, he simply can't help it. you're much too sweet, even through your whispered compliments, terms shyly spilling from your lips while your head remains downturned.

it's.. cute.

you begin picking at your nails, clearing your throat. mark smiles at you; "thanks, but i really couldn't have done it without you".

you definitely want to argue with that, but your mouth plops shut, your eyes darting away. "i'm so fucking tired".

"maybe you should sleep through this break".

you giggle at that one, eyes seemingly getting heavier. "sleeping is really all i can do anyway",

mark hums, attempting to inconspicuously eye the box he carried all around the day. he pays a few glances between before taking in a huge breath, a breath which you causes the furrow of your brows. "um.. uh— okay, don't freak out".

apparently those words do a lot, as you let out possibly the loudest laugh ever since you two became friends. something about his delivery possibly, the amusement manifests in your movement, much less in your laughter. "are you gonna pull out a gun or something?"

mark frowns, true annoyance in naught. "no, i just have a gift for you and i don't—"

your laughter comes to an immediate stop, head tilting sideways, puzzled. "you.. what?"

mark blanks for a moment, the words disappearing into the air. "christmas is coming up, i uh.. you know we won't see each other during christmas, so i got you something".

you blink, dumbfounded, absolutely staggered, as if the act is terribly unheard of. you almost appear terrified, a callback to the moment where you called mark a weirdo for his regard when your knuckles were aptly split.

you're sending him one of those looks.

"why would you— did you spend your own money why would you do that?"

and there's less of disbelief there, more of guilt, guilt mark can't idly place. you shouldn't feel guilty for anything, yet you seem to. "hey, it's okay, it was all in my own will, just open it".

mark is even more excited than you, sliding the completely totally cynical box over despite your insanely watchful eye. your facial muscles twitch in desperation to display your own enthusiasm, but you somehow keep it at bay.

your fingers twitch. "what is it?"

"that would ruin the surprise".

mark is very impatient, tapping his feet incessantly, fingers again coming to repeat the act in a somewhat similar rhythm. you stare down the box, possibly hoping for it to open itself. he begins getting anxious after a moment, the less than rapid unwrapping keeping a tension in the air.

you seem to want to take your time, as if fearing as creature hidden in the box. mark places his hands in his lap, gazing endlessly.

when you finally pear into it, you again tilt your head, blinking. "holy shit".

mark snickers, that has to be a good one. "yeah".

"how did you— why did you— oh my god.."

it's simple, but mark was aware it would have the desired effect. you stare downward, completely and utterly astonished, you don't expect it, of course you don't, yet the reaction is great for mark.

you're out of words for a moment, so mark decides to take that time; "i sort of observed— i mean.. i figured you liked drawing, art, saw your notebook, saw your sketches, it seemed like the perfect gift to get you".

you blink again, simply pure devotion behind your eyes, as if you were one term from confessing your love to him. it's a art set, a cute kit consisting of colored pencils, markers, and even paintbrushes, it looks.. expensive. "how much..?"

"it doesn't matter" he cuts in, clasping his hands. "i wanted to get you something".

that should be enough.

you seem to struggle with what to say, unable to find the exact words until your lips begin trembling. "thank you, i don't know how to repay you".

"you don't have to".

a frown tugs at your lips, you clearly don't like the sound of that one. "i'll get you a gift of your own after the break, don't worry".

mark's nose scrunches, but he can't argue with you, because he really does want a gift, yearns to see what it may all add up to. he clears his own throat, hands smoothing over his thighs.

"i just wanted to get you something because—"

"i know, thank you".

he can't even help staring in the manner he does, his lips taking an upturn, eyes holding remaining regard he's always known he felt.

"it's nothing".

well, mark guesses it is something, he just has to figure out what something exactly entails.

[paranoidomens]

stuck in my brain

trigger/content warning(s): mentions of depression, self-loathing, and hurt/comfort. i think that’s it but if there is more, please let me know

a/n: i am currently listening to stuckinmybrain by chase atlantic and had to put my thoughts into words. this is my first time writing since 2016 and i might be a little rusty. sorry in advance. please feel free to give your criticism in the comments. and lastly, i hope you enjoy :))

you were never good with expressing your emotions to people. it wasn’t something you were proud of either. trying to articulate how you particularly felt in your heart was hard, and quite a waste of time in your opinion. you trained yourself to isolate and keeps things to yourself. you were always dismissed or invalidated by people in your life when it came to your feelings: that is until noah showed up in your life.

noah has always been infatuated with you since the day he saw you. you attended a bad omens show and met him at an after party, and you both hit it off instantly. he has always been intrigued with how you look, the way you carry yourself, and how you speak. although he wonders about what your pretty little head thinks about and how you feel. he’s never the type to force anything out of you, but he does worry about you 24/7 since you guys became a couple. he feels like he’s known you for decades and also knows nothing about you at the same time. he doesn’t know how you feel or what you think about at certain times.

you’ve had a history of depression before you two met, and he knows that. he knows that you have your lower moments, but does he really know how you feel? what you think? why you feel that way? like i said, he never pushes you to talk when you don’t feel like it, however, he’s curious on how he can help you more. sometimes he doesn’t sleep much because he’s overthinking about it. he wants to help you, guide you through your highs and lows of your emotions. but you won’t let him. you can’t let him.

“love, i’m home!” noah shouted. he puts down his keys, looking for you. his eyes roam around the living room, wondering where you could be. walking to your room, he hears faint sniffles coming from your bedroom. oh no.

“love?” noah knocked on the door, opening it and seeing that you’re covered in blankets with the curtains closed. “go away.” you say. but your heart wants him to stay. you’ve always hated how you push people away when you hit a low, especially when it comes to the people you care about.

don’t go. please stay. i need help. you think to yourself.

“y/n, my love, what’s wrong?” noah softly speaks, joining you under the covers and his hands roam to your physique. “i don’t want to tell you. it’s stupid.” you whisper. “nothing is stupid when it comes to you. you know i would never push your boundaries when it comes to talking, but i want to help you. trust me when i say this.” you finally turn and face noah, and he sees your tear-stained cheeks. they’re a rosy pink, and he wonders how long you’ve been like this since he was gone from tour.

“i have been stuck in my brain recently. i don’t know how to get out of this funk. i hate this. i feel terrible for shutting you out when you want to talk to me. every since you’ve been touring, my mind keeps dragging me in a dark and lonely place. i don’t know how to stop thinking this way. i want help, but i don’t know how to ask you. ” you rant to noah, tears streaming from your eyes like an angry and rapid river. you feel vulnerable letting your lover hear about these dark thoughts that he’s never heard from you before.

“y/n… you know you can always talk to me. i want you to come to me whenever you feel too much, when you hurt too much. that’s the whole point of us being in a relationship. we help each other out when we need it.” noah strokes your face, pushing the stray hairs away. “i will never judge you. i hope you know that. especially when it comes down to how you feel. promise me you’ll start coming to me when you’re low.” noah adds.

“pinky promise?” you ask, holding out your pinky and earning a chuckle from your lover. “i pinky promise.” he says. you finish explaining and apologize for holding on to your emotions, which he tells you not to say sorry for that. you continue to work on opening up to noah more frequently. he’ll always be there for you, especially until the end of time.

sorry for the short blurb, but i hope you guys enjoyed! let me know what other types of content you guys would like for me to write! all criticism is greatly appreciated, and don’t forget to write your ideas for me to make so i can get the gist of writing again. thank you!