#why am I getting him pregnant?
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hi. what the fuck did i just come back to?
#this is not sage btw#this is cameron 🙂#let me get this right#sage has barely eaten and had almost no water#she has been crying so much the body has a headache#she is in the middle of a fire evacuation#and she got kicked out of the house?#and also picked a fight with all of tumblr over the owl house for some reason?#i guess i have to do everything around here#someone has to keep this shit show from running into the ground#sage is fine btw#i’ve got her#i’m gonna get us to bed once we arrive#and maybe drink some fucking water#hey wait#why the fuck is ‘I’m gonna get him pregnant’ the first thing that pops up when you type ‘I’m gonna get’#who is HIM#why am I getting him pregnant?#are these auto suggested or has sage been posting weird shit again
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hiya l'il-- medium?...large?? Assorted Sizes-Guy
oh thanks! i could always use more spices-
. what am i supposed to do with this.
#surrounded by henchmen (smaller Me's) i peer reproachfully into my inbox#2: ...get him pregnant?#*slaps 2 upside the head* you absolute GOON he's ALREADY pregnant we can't get him DOUBLE pregnant#2: well... why not? if creatures can have two uteri then i don't see why--#Me: *drags my hand down my face* yes i know but. just. dont#3: Picture this. your snake wife is so full and round (because who knows how many snakelets are in there)#3: one day he has to stop working much earlier than usual. u kno. cuz of the MASS. and he starts getting insecure about his body changes#3: so he touches his tummy . looks up at you with those big eyes and murmurs 'am i... unsightly like this?'#3: and u whisper reassurances to him while kissing his face#3: then u promptly rail him on the nearest comfortable surface to erase any doubt of him being unattractive#Me: ..............WHAT THE FUFK?#3: *shrugs aggressively while maintaining eye contact*#Me: NO. pregnancy isn't even our kink. why are we-#3: not YOUR kink maybe#Me: *incredulous stare* how the-- you know what . Go to the timeout zone. i'm not dealing with this today#4: the ask says 'snakumo' though. Wouldn't he be in snake form then...?#3: so? THIS CHANGES NOTHING.#Me: GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#3: *rolls eyes and mutters while walking away*#5: who's greg?#4: dude you can't be serious. if WE know the meme then YOU know the meme#5: i'm serious. i haven't been online in 16 years#4: look. when you wonder if sex will hurt baby top of head-#Me: WHY ARE WE DISCUSSING THIS?#2: because we are currently engaged in a circle of ppl squicked by pregnancy... who must make pregnancy jokes#4: it's all about the joke potential ya see. gigglemaxxing#Me: *massaging my temples* i'm not ready to be a father. i never will be.#6: KNOCK HIM UP AND EAT HIS EGGS SO U CAN KNOCK HIM UP AGAIN. NO ONE SAID YOU HAVE TO BE A FATHER !#3: (muffled from a distance) HELL YEAH BROTHER#Me: SHUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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fenhawke commission for @new-austin featuring his custom hawke aaron
commission info
#my art#fenhawke#male hawke#fenris#dragon age 2#da2#suggestive#leaving this in the tags but austin wanted this title to be 'getting him pregnant tonight'.#i am a businessman so you can gather why i didnt go w that
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SICK. "right person, wrong time."
#SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK.#my HANDS are shaking.#what the fuck.#lolaa.txt#sorry 4 freakoutposting . nobody can know about this so i have nowhere else to say it all.#WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE.#RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME. WHY IS IT WRONG TIME.#WHY AM I RIGHT PERSON.#IM RIGHT PERSON.#WHAT. WHAT#HE TALKED ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS. AND HES SO TOTALLY HONEST#I WAS FULLY LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND HE SAYS 'ok i do have to turn on the ac . ' AND SORT OF HALF LAUGHED SMILED AT ME#HE WAS BLUSHING .#HE KISSED ME.#AND IT WAS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND VERY SIDEWAYS BUT HE KISSED ME#AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND HE KEPT SMILING.#AND HE DIDNT WANT ME TO LEAVE BUT HE DIDNT WANT ME TO BE IN TROUBLE#i was 2 hours late getting home. AUHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHGHIGHSEOIFHSEFOUESHFESJKKMNN#FUCKKK. I HAVE TO SEE HIM TOMORROW. IN A SCHOOL SETTING.#AND I CANT TELL ANY OF MY FRIENDS?????????#only one person knows and i swore her to secrecy because she wanted us to get together really bad.#FUCK but like . we cant. we cant do it right person WRONG TIME#but also can we just go back to being friends. do i really want to forget? it was so comfy.#FUCK.#FUCKKKKKK . AND CAM.#cam is so so sweet. light of my life cam. talented and artistic and handsome cam.#but. cam doesnt watch movies. or make mixtapes. or kiss me in the front seat of their car because our noses touched when we laughed#AGAIN SORRY. NORMAL. i need to tell my parents about the movie (tradition that they hear all about it) and NOT bring any of this up#i will be dodging the allegations the whole time. NOT EVERYONE GETS SOMEONE PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL FATHER.#so there is that.
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lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament
#i do#do you think he noticed it upset her twice in a row and was like 'oh I haven't earned the trust back yet i'll retire this strat'#'it's fun to scare people but i do not like my wife being scared we can put this one up on the shelf for emergencies only'#because like bulma can consciously trust him and I'm sure she does but one can still have The Fear if you've seen your spouse relapse befor#And he probably thinks it's very amusing but it is also almost certainly very not funny for her no matter how much she trusts him#and the next arc is Trunks and she's so worried about the way he left she ignored the PDA rules and squished him when she saw him alive#Because Geets determination can be self destructive when it comes to Bulma and Trunks and he killed himself to protect them once before#and knowing how connected they've been for so long some part of her probably Knew he would opt to stay behind and die like he was going to#And I love the idea that between those two events and all of the things Trunks tells him about Bulma during the GB arc Geets has to really#really be confronted with how loved he is -- and it's not that he wasn't aware before but knowing she even missed him at his worst#and loved him maybe even before she was pregnant -- means the cruel part of his mind can't make excuses for why she stayed with him#I also like to think that being confronted with the idea that Bulma is still scared for him getting his worst wires tripped#wouldn't be offensive to him. Knowing he's still got work to do if his wife is worried about those things happening to him again#is just proof that she loves him with his flaws and was still thinking about it and supporting his recovery when he didn't#even notice he was recovering -- which has always been true of her -- and now he has the chance to support her recovery in return#and being in a place where he can still put that work in to make her feel secure in his priorities is a privilege and a gift#and man I just really like how casually comfortably close they are in Super's manga I love them a lot they worked so hard#to make each other feel safe and secure for the past decade+ that it's Easy for them both now and they're SUCH a confident couple#and I am once again shaking the anime by the shoulders WHY didn't you give us that they are SO the team's Mom and Dad in the manga#until Goku riles Vegeta up -- then Piccolo is the team Dad. Bc Piccolo is the team Grandpa aksjda The Z-Fighter's locker room judge#dbtag#vegebul#putting the whole essay in the tags again oops#happy pride i am gay for a whole married couple
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I have so many varied and fun WIPs I could work on but my brain continues to scream “BE WEIRD ABOUT CHILDBIRTH! SURELY YOU WON’T WEIRD ANYONE OUT IF YOU KEEP WRITING ABOUT CHILDBIRTH!” and I’d like it to sTOP
#I HAVE TOKOPHOBIA CHILDBIRTH AND PREGNANCY IN GENERAL REPULSE ME#(not to be confused with ‘I find it repulsive’ — its natural and plenty of people find it beautiful and more power to ‘em! me personally…)#BUT I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT MARIO RUSHING TO HIS WIFE’S BEDSIDE AND FRANTICALLY TRYING TO HELP HER RELAX#WHEN IN FACT SHE IS ALREADY RELAXED AND HE NEEDS BREATHING EXERCISES MORE THAN SHE DOES#AND THE MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EXHAUSTION THEY BOTH UNDERGO AS THE HOURS TICK BY AND THE PAIN GETS WORSE#PEACH HURTING AND ANXIOUS AND FRANKLY KINDA TERRIFIED BUT BLINDLY LEANING ON AND TRUSTING HER HUSBAND WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT#AND OF COURSE HE REFUSES TO LET HER DOWN BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH HE’S FRAZZLED HE’S NOT GOING TO LET HER GO THROUGH THIS ALONE#AND AND AND#PEACH TREMBLING AND WEEPING IN RELIEF WHEN SHE’S HANDED HER LITTLE GIRL AND FEELS HER TAKE HER FIRST BREATHS AND HEARS HER FIRST CRIES#MARIO PEPPERING HER FACE IN KISSES AND JUST REPEATING ‘brava! brava! brava!’ BECAUSE HIS WIFE IS SO STRONG AND SO INCREDIBLE#AND IT DOESN’T REALLY HIT HIM UNTIL THEIR BABY’S ALL CLEANED AND SWADDLED AND HE’S HOLDING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HE JUST#STARTS FUCKING BAWLING#AND WHISPERING TO HER IN HIS NATIVE TONGUE ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVES HER AND HOW HE’S SO HAPPY TO MEET HER AND HE’S GONNA PROTECT HER#THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH! THE FIRST SLEEPLESS HOURS AND DAYS! NAVIGATING IT ALL TOGETHER AND IT BRINGS THEM EVEN CLOSER#WHY AM I LIKE THIS#I SEE PREGNANT BELLIES OR NEWBORN BABIES IRL AND I’M LIKE ‘🤢’#BUT WHEN IT’S MY OTPS I AM LITERALLY OBSESSED#WHY#MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 😭😭😭
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I recently found out people ship Cassandra with Apollo.
My initial reaction was...
Just tan their hides. You know what happened to her because the the bastard, don't you?..
Then, I was overwhelmed by morbid curiosity, and checked AO3. People are writing rape fics about them. ...Why?..
Could I ever see Cassandra x Apollo?.. I don't know, maybe. But, definitely not the nonsense I mentioned. Dubcon at most. I guess, he might somehow coerce her into sleeping with him, and later rescue her from the fall of Troy, because she's pregnant with his child, or something (Zeus would be pissed, I'm fine with that).
Sounds like an intriguing story, with a lot of morally questionable elements. I can imagine Apollo confiding in Artemis, wondering why his wife is so upset. She'd just go "are you serious rn?.. -_-".
...What, you're surprised I'm among those I wish to hide with a broom? Don't be. It happens quite often, actually.
#greek mythology#greek myth fandom#apollo#cassandra#apollo x cassandra#diary pages#thoughts#greek gods#this is such a fucked up pairing#in the iliad you like apollo then remember what he did cassandra#i don't blame her for rejecting his advances he's an entitled fboy with nine girlfriends and she wanted to remain chaste#the way he responded is very cruel honestly cassandra's story breaks my heart#of course i'm discussinv them as characters not religious figures#apollo can be such a creep#greek myth fanfic#fanfiction ideas#what the hell i have a hundred epics in my wips already including one with apollo#but i SHOULD put this aside the “Apollo coerces Cassandra then saves her because she's pregnant”#it's dark but also very intriguing to explore... it isn't supposed to be hot really well maybe later#dionysus married ariadne why can't apollo marry cassandra#she wouldn't want to marry him but what other choice would she have#their further relationship just seems so fascinating#yeah apollo would be confused why she's upset - he'd get her being upset about the fall of troy but not why she's upset with him#but as gods do he'd imagine she should be happy about getting rescued by him#why am i doing this to myself (and cassandra)#i suppose... i just want a better ending for cassandra (back to the fic idea) which this would be even though she'd have to deal with apollo#side note imagine the “pairing” in disney's hercules it would be hilarious#cassandra confronting hercules about his creepy older cousin trying to hit on her#or icarus trying to ask apollo if she'll go out with him and apollo replying “if you have my luck she'll just throw a shoe at your face”#she should take out a restraining order also
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LUFFY!!!!!!!!! I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED!!!! LUFFY BELIEVER FULL TIME!!!!! LET US WORSHIP THE SUN!!!!
#luffy deflating like a balloon..... be serious 😭😭#MOMO NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR LUFFY!!! oh kaido going for the others now..... law could hear his voice too???#NAMI BEING THE FIRST TO STEP UP!!! CHILLS!!! THIS TIME STEPPING UP TO WITNESS THE HORRORS!!! YEAH!!!#yamato really does carry the spirit of oden straight up.... motivating his son and everything...#i feel like i am going insane... I CAN HEAR THE DRUMS!!! nami telling luffy to not die and fulfill his promise WHO ELSE HAD A PROMISE????#is this why his fruit awakened.... because nami reminded him of the promise... omg..... THE DRUMS!!! CHILLS!!!! THE SMILE!!!!! IM SO HYPE!!#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1070#i am smiling so hard rn. contagious#also the cp0 that died for this ajdja.... suffering from success....#THE BOUNCING SOUNDS!!!! THE DRUMS!!!! THE SMILE!!! SANJI JUST VOLTING AWAKE??? see the clouds over his shoulders remain.... as i was saying#you know this has me realising maybe shanks isn't all that bad and stole the fruit from the gov so they couldnt get hold of it#hiyori saying how oden kept hia promise but also how he wanted to keep the promise of opening wano for joyboy#THE KANJURO THING!!! HIYORI WATCH OUT!!! oh its gonna burn orichi by accident YEAAHHH!!!!!!! FUCK YEAHH!!!!#the animation is so fun.. luffy just junping around and shit while hia destruction power is MASSIVE#this is so!!!! kaido complaining about being bored and having fun thru fighting AND HERE COMES LUFFY WITH HIS LOONEY TOONS GOOFY FIGHT!!!!#they knocked this shit out of the park!!! also END CREDITS????!#episode 1071#momo saying kaido got fat 😭 actually kaido got pregnant <3 yamato you're going to be a big brother congrats!!!#the eyes 😭😭 damn luffy flew away and exploded... 😞😞 skipping rope with kaido omg.... everyone should go outside and see this...#we are welcoming here in the luffy believers... barto is gonna enlist hundreds of new members#law is luffy believer number 1 damn the speech he is giving kid... omg kaido bonked him ajshaksjak that was so good he needed witnesses..#nami worried abojt luffy being dead and when he appears she is just like WTF IS THAT!!!!!! HUH???!!#wait a second ooohhhh kaido is goong down too fuck yes akdjaksj momo and yamato peeking over the island jahdksk#THE DRUMS BEING HIS HEART I CANNOT GET OVER IT!!! Kaido shoukd be puking up his insides by now but alas this is so fun BOIOIOIOIOING#FIRST TIME SOMEONE ASKS LUFFY WHO HE IS AND HE DOESN'T SAY MONKEY D LUFFY FUTURE KING OF THE PIRATES. HE SAYS ITS HIM. STRAIGHT UP!!!!#NVM HE SAID IT!!!!! GOD IS THAT YOU????!!!!#episode 1072
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it is so insane that so many young women still think that the “””right””” man will make u want to have children/become a mother like …… ur literally allowed to be ur own person and have ur very own needs and wishes and ur not less of a woman if u never become a mother like why do u still think marriage and motherhood are intrinsically linked to being a woman…… free urself…..
#like i always say i never want to get pregnant and have my own children and yet friends r like thats what u say now like 😭 ok grandma….#this friend whos already a mom is like thats what i thought bf i met my husband and thats what will happen when u meet the right man like 😭#like first of all i am bi that rule does not apply to me…….#secondly ive met the right man already that doesnt mean im gonna conform to society’s expectations of women!!!!#i simply dont want to put my body through the torture of pregnancy like why is that such a wild concept 😭#also like i want to spend the rest of my life w HIM not having sleepless nights bc of a baby and all that…….
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WORLD’S CUTEST GLADIATOR
#LOOK AT HIM#LOOK. AT. HIM.#the smiles i am SOBBING#maximus should have been able to smile#he deserved to smile and laugh and be happy#the way he's looking at the camera in that first one WOW#just go ahead and get me pregnant why don't you#and the goofy face i love russell so much :D#then the pensive one??? the soft concentration and thoughtfulness??#i am in love#AND THEN THE SMILE#i melt i sigh i swoon i die in his arms#he's the only one i'll ever love#my precious beloved husband#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe
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I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND I FORGOT TO PUT THE CW BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER CANON MPREG IN MONKEY KING 3? MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK
#mori speaks#mori screams#mpreg#I AM GOING CRAZY#HES SO CUTE???#i know its based on journey to the west which is fictional chinese tale#I WANT HIM TO KEEP THE BABY SO BAD 😭#HE DOESNT AND I KNOW WHY#Monks dont have babies or relationships..#its very understandable but..#baby :(#HE WANTED TO HAVE BABY TANG#im sorry im going HOG WILD#Its not just him#THERES TWO OTHER MEN WHO GET PREGNANT TOO#is it wrong to put a baby in a fictional monk?#i mean.. he wanted to be a momma#I THINK HE DESERVES A BABY#esp after seeing it just HAPPEN#so whack..
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#my sister in law is pregnant#her due date is two weeks after mine would’ve been#they found out the day I lost the pregnancy#I’m genuinely happy for them and so excited to be an aunt#but I also feel just#something beyond gutted#why did my baby have to die#when so many other people’s babies don’t die#why is my baby dead#why is my baby dead!!!!!!!!!#my brother was so gentle and careful about telling me but also he’s just understandably so so so so so excited#and I am so happy for him I love him so much I’ll love their kid so much#but I wanted a baby and I don’t have one and I don’t know if I’ll ever have one#I just have $14k in medical debt and one fewer fallopian tube#I just feel#kinda hollowed out#i want it so bad and I don’t know if I’m going to get it and everyone I mean everyone around me is having babies#i want it more than anything and in my heart of hearts I don’t think I’m going to get it
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I am once again asking the good people writing mpreg to not refer to the birth father as any variation of "mother". thanks
#i just don't understand why you would even do that. like just write a genderbent au or whatever at that point#it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth#pretty sure it's because it feels transphobic on some level. yeah this is fiction where a cis man had the ability to get pregnant#but referring to him as a mother while the other parent gets to be father feels. Bad. like in the minds of these people the ability#of pregnancy is so deeply linked with feminity that they couldn't fathom calling a pregnant man a father#even though that's what he is#sorry it's two am and i am having deep thoughts about mpreg fic#rayrambles
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SWANFIRE OUTLANDER AU YOU SAY????
first of all LOVE that we all understand The Vision and Genious of this au. second of all you guys really are gonna make me do something w this huh 😂
#teresa answers#asks#ankahikoibaat#like i cannot stress enough how underdeveloped this au idea is to me it is a vague concept lol#beyond emma being from tlwm and neal from ef and emma ending up traveling to neals ef time and getting stuck and they run into each#other there#i dont exactly know how yet tho#and obv this is a no curse au but im thinking neal ran away from rumple and while he’s on the run is when he runs into emma#and emma for some reason goes to storybrooke and there’s some kind of portal there that emma accidentally travels thru#and then jumping ahead i don’t WANT to include the separation but it’s both a big thing in the ol story and the sf story#so I don’t know why yet but emma has to go back BUT they don’t know emma is pregnant#and i think emma raises Henry in this#and the story book shows up in Henry’s life again when he’s like 10/11 and he figures out abt his dad (bc emma obv hasn’t told him the#truth abt it. a fairytale universe??? so hard to explain)#and Henry brings it up to emma and they talk abt it and Henry finds out it’s possible to go back and then they do#and that’s what i have rn 😂#but I have a long car ride tomorrow so you know i’ll be spending it thinking abt this 😂#and i am Not a writer so all i will have to offer is a moodboard/picspam of sorts and some rambling plot description lmao#and again i would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts on this idea as well!!!
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Having a post get popular enough to be independently reblogged by someone you follow but aren't mutuals with is. Wild
#yes it was the sex poll obvs#given the person is a minor i'm very glad they picked answer one lmao#like i do think minors in general are allowed to want and even have sex (with each other obvs) but when it's a minor i personally follow it#would just make me feel pretty weird lmao. like on a personal level ya feel? i mean when u reach an even closer level it becomes not weird#again like my dear friend ness (17yo) who afaik doesn't actually HAVE any sex but occasionally wants to and i support her hot girl summer.#but as stated this person barely knows i exist i just follow his blog (i used they earlier but this was incorrect but tumblr won't let me e#edit the tag 😔) and he's 16yo so seeing him talk about wanting and/or having sex would have been. uncomfortable. like obvs he'd be allowed#to because my personal discomfort is no indication of morality but you get it. like if my big little cousin (she's 15 now by god the years#don't stop coming) were to talk about sex and stuff to me or within earshot i would ummm. throw myself out the window? but like i'd still t#try to be supportive and if push comes to shove then yes i would give her condoms 😔 cuz like if a minor wants sex i will not be able to sto#stop them lmao but i can at least try and make it somewhat safe y'know#actually i remembered i have literally given a 15yo a condom before lmao she's prolly over 20 now but like as the adult dormmate it was alm#almost like a responsibility y'know like what do you want me to DO?? let her get pregnant?? anyway enough tangent lmao#btw all this is also why in the poll i included 'too young' but didn't specify an age cuz that's individual y'know. some people are p late#bloomers (i was one) while others choose to have consensual sex by 14 y'know. not something i like to think about but that doesn't mean it#won't happen ya feel. i mean what am i the american education system? lmao. so some ppl have interpreted being 17 as too young but there's#also folks like this who clearly consider 16 old enough and that's defo ppl's good right. and again i usually don't mind just the fact that#he in particular is someone i already knew made it uncomfy. but anyway yea back on topic it's very interesting in general when your post#gets big enough to independently make it to ur dash thru a non mutual lmao. love the hellsite honestly where else amirite#personal#mine#ok to rb ig#like the actual body of the post anyway. i'd be pretty uncomfy if said person saw my tags on this cuz y'know it's kind vagueing even if it'#not negative but anyway. anyway#*kinda
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Another movie au silly XD probably takes place after the incident, imma be real I feel like they've done some kind of drugs or girls night just hits different one of the two! Anywhos @oogaboogaspookyman ur boi is getting to enjoy girls night good for him, this one's more dialogue heavy
Girls Night and Serious Questions
May's tail swayed and swished softly as she rested comfortably on some cushions on the floor of her actors' room leaning back against a beanbag for back support. The pink strawberry scented face mask was cool on her skin as were the cucumber slices on her eyes as she exhaled peacefully with some quiet background music for ambience. She raised a hand carefully, taking a cucumber slice from a bowl and putting it in her mouth, crunching it with satisfaction.
"I don't think you're meant to eat the slices off your face May."
The monochromatic two commented, he was also wearing a face mask. It was blue and blueberry scented with cucumber slices over his eyes, he was also lounging comfortably, tail swaying in contentment.
"I know that's why I sliced extras," her voice was sing song like as she carefully rattled the bowl for him to hear, "you know you wanna crunchy crunch on a cucumbee~" He snorted a soft laugh but reach out clumsily finding the bowl and taking a slice happily popping it in his mouth with a grin as she lightly gasped to herself, "He got the cucumberrr."
"Yes he dooo~"
The other two singsonged back and sighed.
"Gosh this is nice, and you say you and Matt try to do this once a week?"
"Yup, sometimes we make little fruit salads with slices and chunks of all kinds of fruits. God it's so good, unfortunately I didn't have any fruit in so we got cucumber masks and unhealthy snacks. Peak girls night material." the other two snorted in soft laughter.
"Girls night Girls night."
He playfully chanted before settling back into a comfortable quiet.
"So, I heard your manager had a baby?"
He queried too curious not too.
"Yup, indeed she did."
"I heard she had it naturally?"
"Al dente indeed yea, no cloning, didn't know that could happen."
He hummed softly in agreement.
"What does that mean for you then?"
"Uh, my manager is more busy than usual and I'm probably gonna have to babysit I guess."
He made a soft ah sound as he chewed the inside of his mouth.
"Does it bother you?"
"What you mean?"
"Well, you and your manager have a complicated uh relation to one another."
"Yea she's cloned from me."
"And she had a baby, does that mean you could too?"
May went quiet and thoughtful before clumsily stretching a leg to try to kick or at least nudge the other two.
"Why? Wanting to get me pregnant or something ya dork, you're an absolute pervert." Her voice was entirely playful and jokey.
"Hey!"
He reached to nudge her back.
"That is slander my good woman I hope you have a good lawyer that is not why I was asking!"
His tone was mostly mock offended easy in nature as they continued to lightly kick and nudge the other with May giggling softly.
"I just meant like, is that something you could see happening for you down the line?"
"Girl time really unlocking the deep personal questions, what is girls night if not for crimes and personal stuff I guess." May laughed softly before humming in thought, "I dunno, I don't, think about my future a lot, but I can't really see myself with a kid personally I'm not responsible enough for that."
"You take care of Matt don't you."
He joked playfully as she mock gasped in joke offense at him being right.
"Yes but that's differentt, he's my optional pest whereas a baby is full time pest." the two snorted out loud giggling and kicking his feet a bit at May referring to her hypothetical child as a pest.
"You're so mean to your babyyy."
He joked as she laughed.
"Fuck them kids."
He snorted a laugh as she started to giggle.
"Fuck them kids."
He repeated, laughing to himself at the absurdity.
"What about you huh, babies on your bucket list? I can see you settling down eventually with a lovely woman," she nudged him playfully with her foot, "you two could make a cute little baby."
"You two?? Me and who??"
He asked, completely baffled.
"Your wife!" she boldly started giggling as he made more confused noises.
"What wife?? Where is this wife?? Show me this woman?"
He playfully demanded as she laughed and giggled harder.
"I dunno! She's somewhere! You'll find her and you'll luuuuuuv herrrr. And I can make jokes about stealing your pretty wife."
"You can't have her, she's mine."
"I could seduce her from you."
"Is that why you picture me with a wife so you can steal her from me?"
"Yes."
He playfully kicked at her laughing at her weirdness.
"You are so bizarre!"
She laughed as well saying, "I knowww, Its just me getting you back for stealing my drinks, you're a horrid little coffee thief I'm a horrid little wife stealer." He snorted loudly, absolutely howling and hollering as he kicked his leg into the floor.
"THAT IS IN NO WAY EQUAL EXCHANGE YOU CRETIN?!?!"
"YES IT IS BITCH!" She yelled laughter in her voice as he cackled.
"You are positively insane."
"Thank youuu," She snickered.
"Not a compliment!"
"I'm taking it as one you fuck!" She laughed as he let out a laugh like exhale as he ate a cucumber slice before asking.
"So, if I got a husband you'd steal my husband because I drank your drinks."
"Hmmmmmm….I dunnoooo….cause like…" She moved her hand limping her wrist, "but also like it depends. How hots your husband." He made a confused sound.
"What the hell are you on about? I heard you move but I can't remember."
"Oh yea." She laughed at her mistake, "so like, girls."
He made a hum of agreement bringing his hands to his stomach.
"Yea, girls."
"I like girls."
"..oh.."
She didn't catch his disappointed tone, "but also sometimes like, boys."
"Oh? So like, both?"
His tone slightly intrigued.
"Sometimes? I don't know like attraction and orientation hard, I flip flop a bit because I'm not sure, I go yea I like both, then I go ages without like feeling attracted to guys so hm maybe just girls but then ohoho a cute guy so like 80% of the time I'm like woman and 20% I'm like but that dude though, ya know?"
"Hm, I understand what you're saying, yes. Have you, seen any attractive guys in a while?"
She made a noise humming for a while her tone going strange saying, "I mean yea but it's whatever." She made a pft sound waving off her hand, her tail thumping the floor softly, "You thirsty? I'm thirsty, imma make milkshakes, you want milkshake?"
He chuckled to himself as he lifted a cucumber from his eye to watch her hurry past him, smiling a bit to himself. He could push and tease about it as he could tell she was embarrassed, but, then he might not get a milkshake.
"Yea I'll have the one you're having."
"You can have your fucking own!" He snorted softly.
#My writing#Mewtwosona May#@oogaboogaspookyman ???#@oogaboogaspookyman oc#Girl night girls night girls night#Omg ??? You can't just ask a girl if she thinks she's gonna have kids XD#May just lmao why gonna get me pregnant? Bitch? Pervert?#I am not confirming if she meant him or not#May out here planning to steal his hypothetical wife#Lmao does May mewtwo is gay? Study say yes in recent article the people of majority-I can't remember the rest of the does Bruno Mars is gay#Sorry ??? May is a little gay bean#But also like me sometimes she see a guy and go 👀#Doesn't really know her own sexuality#Meanwhile matt is just in the background like gay gay homosexual. Ngl he probably had a crush on ?? At one point#Also this is not me shooting down the joke ship because I actually really like it!! XD#This isn't me pulling the um well actually card this is me going hi I didn't know how to bring up her sexuality before so here's jokey fic#She's gay but only sometimes XD sometimes she's straight XD she is a confused little bisexual#Ngl canon dealing with ??? May looks at movie May and goes BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?!#Like HIM?? FR?? HM?? AND UR /FRIENDS/?!?!?! THIS SOME BULLLSHIT#Also again I think they might be on drugs or its honestly just the girls night vibes making them feral and giggly#Fungal Spooks Studio
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