#why Ian specifically? it’s cause I’m him

[greenl-ungs]

All shameless does is glamorize living in the south side of Chicago and having trouble living with money problems, underage smoking and drinking, and doing illegal or unethical things to get by, and a lot of sex.

And it’s working

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

question, have you written anything about ian's avoidant attachment?? i just dont really see anyone mention it even though its a big part of his character

i’ve said things about it off and on but i’ve never really talked about it in depth, but i’ve been wanting to post more so i’m gonna take this as an opportunity to:)

i do think it’s strange that nobody talks about it because as you said, it is SUCH a big and important part of his character. even in season one minor things like him running upstairs when people tried to help him with his broken nose or bigger things like running away from the chaos at home to go see mickey. the way fiona acted when he left also indicates it’s a common occurrence. ian always runs away. we even hear stories about him running away as a kid, specifically from his foster home with carl (there was probably abuse going on, but still, he runs away from conflict frequently and later on we see he can’t commit).

a lot of ian and mickey’s relationship early on wasn’t like how it ended up being, where ian runs. instead it was mickey always running, and we all know why- fear. i think he was trying so hard to keep mickey because he really was in love with him but also because he was so used to being left or being treated like garbage, and he didn’t want that. then obviously, season three he leaves, and the mania contributes for sure but i definitely think a big part of it is again, his tendency to run away. fiona even says, “he’ll be back when he’s back” (which i hated), but again it kind of proves he runs a lot. this time he just ran further and didn’t return for months.

anyway, ian’s avoidant attachment becomes more prevalent around the season five break up, which i could talk about for days because i feel like ian’s perspective isn’t talked about as often. but one of the reasons that he leaves is because they love each other and he doesn’t want mickey to be stuck with him, he can’t commit to this and he doesn’t want to drag mickey down with him. after this we see his struggles with commitment more often, visiting mickey in prison is a pretty good example, which is also something i’ll never really hate ian for. he tells svetlana that he doesn’t want to go because he’s done with that part of his life, he wants to leave everything behind him. when mickey shows him that he tattooed ian on his chest and asks him to wait years for him, it’s a big commitment, which ian is afraid of. he even states in season ten his parents contributed to this fear. he’s never known much about commitment, his parents could never commit to him, the men he fucked never commited to him, and mickey did, but it scares ian away.

season seven is pretty obvious, also. trevor wants a relationship and that also scares him away, and there were definitely other levels to it, but i’ve always viewed his hesitance for another relationship as a part of that. trevor wants commitment, ian isn’t good at that; and it shows when he runs off with mickey (after saying he’s staying and won’t do that). when ian and mickey talk while stargazing the night before mickey goes over the border, i could tell ian wasn’t going to go with him. mickey asks if ian ever thought of him, and ian says he did, but his demeanor to me always still seemed anxious. he realizes this is a big decision, and while he’s already made a lot of big commitments doing this whole thing with mickey, i feel like that’s when he realized. mickey’s leaving behind nothing, but ian’s leaving behind everything. his family, his job, trevor, probably even his stability. i don’t think i even need to talk about him leaving mickey at the border, because again, it was unsurprising and caused by fear and fear only. love was never a factor, and i think mickey must’ve known that.

there’s other examples within the next two seasons, like how he grieved, him hiding from the cops and running away after dyeing his hair black, but it’s always the most obvious when he’s in a relationship with mickey, because their attachment styles contradict each other. knowing he’s getting released on parole was a big thing, because to me, it was apparent he didn’t want to leave but also couldn’t wait to. his whole thing with mickey where he screams “i wanna be where you are!” and mickey responds with, “you don’t get to be.” was a big thing and showed a change in ian’s relationship with attachment. he was willing to throw his whole parole for mickey. it was growth. the marriage license is a whole other thing.

10x08/10x09 are pretty important episodes to me looking at it from ian’s perspective. he does love mickey and that should never be questioned, in fact, it irritates me when people imply he doesn’t, but he was afraid. the way his hand hovered over the paper was fear, and in 10x09 it all goes back to 5x12. ian’s bipolar, he doesn’t want mickey stuck with him. i think in the courthouse he did a good job of explaining why he didn’t want that. frank and monica had so many weddings and he’s watched so much shit go down, and he’s no stranger to being compared to monica. in season nine he states he doesn’t know who he is anymore, and i feel like he’s struggled with that for a while. he ends up marrying mickey, but there was so much trauma and fear he had to push past to do so. he asks mickey how he knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with ian and everything that comes with ian, and obviously mickey is fine with all of that, he loves ian, but ian isn’t sure. like i said, he’s been left so many times and he’s seen what his disorder did to his mother, he’s seen frank and monica’s relationship, and he’s scared. debbie even tells him this. that’s why i felt like his whole promise thing made sense, it symbolized commitment, he tells mickey he can commit, but mickey doesn’t buy it (and i don’t blame him). he learns he has to marry mickey, he has to commit, he has to say vows. and he does, and the whole monogamy conversation further proves he’s still learning and trying to overcome everything.

i dont know if i even answered that question or not and just rambled, lol, but i tried😭😭

[femboymilkovich]

Hiiii, Sarah! It’s been a while since I’ve found myself in the inbox of my mutuals with a thoughtful question about our boys. However, we’re preparing for the hurricane down this way and I’m looking for something to keep me occupied — like talking to all of my beautiful lovely friends!!

So what I want to discuss today is the love language of our boys. What love language(s) do you think they each excel at and which one(s) do they struggle with the most? Do you think their love language(s) have changed since the beginning? Do you think they still excel or struggle with a certain one(s)?

I would also like to pick your brain on your thoughts of how they protect one another — how they protect one another physically, how they protect one another’s peace, how they protect each other mentally, etc! 🩵

— Much love, Chey

Chey! This was such a happy surprise! First, please be safe! But I am happy to indulge <333

Love languages are sooooooo incredibly important to me I'm so glad you asked!

I think mickey best feels loved by words of affirmation, mostly from Ian, I don't really think anyone else's opinion ever truly mattered more to him than Ian's. I think when he finally let the walls fall and let Ian in, he realized how nice it is to be reminded that he is important and worthy of love and admiration. I also think physical touch, both giving and receiving, not just sexually. Casual intimacy, a soft hand down his back to ground him, a firm squeeze on his knee, being able to communicate without words is his safety. I think he searches for the love he should have always had, and was robbed of. Having a violent childhood, he probably felt like he was never going to be given the love he craved, too afraid to be soft and punished for it. Which is why all of the little things, the flirty glances, teasing and joking around with Ian feels so heart wrenching. I think over the years it has definitely changed, I think he was doing a lot of acts of service for ian, especially when he is or was manic. The vitamins, checking him on risky behavior that would hurt him, making sure he takes his meds. Waaaah. I think Mickey has gone through periods of struggling with many aspects of communicating properly with Ian, sometimes intentionally as an act of defiance, but often I think it just boils down to what he was exposed to, never having had a proper example, and he will unintentionally cause hurt. I like to think now, he's much better about it and even if he does do something petty, he will, albeit begrudgingly, he will make it right.

I think Ian's main love language is acts of service, we love service top Ian. I think he feels so fulfilled by helping others, he is so used to being needed, as a son, a brother, a friend and a spouse. He finds purpose in it. We all know he provides that well in the bedroom buuuuuuuuutttttttttt I want to focus on the non-sexual aspects too because those are soooooo important. I think Ian thrives on helping Mickey specifically, helping him unwind at the end of the day, making him dinner, a massage? Hell yeah! I think quality time is another big one for him, as much time as he is willing to put into someone or something, he wants that to be reciprocated back to him, even if its just being present with him, parallel play anyone? 👀

As I mentioned earlier, Mickey often finds himself checking Ian, making sure he takes his meds, makes sure he's taken care of with his mental health which is not an easy thing to do, It is very complex and confusing and stressful, and yet Mickey takes it all. Even if he were the only one, Ian will always have Mickey there to take care of him. Ian is incredibly receptive and is able to pull mickey back down and ground him when he thinks he's about to do something that is not worth his time, or energy.

"Mick, pause" is huge to me, he knows how much hurt Mickey has over his dad, and knows that Terry doesn't deserve the consideration, but it was never for his benefit. He knew in that moment Mickey needed him to help him consider his actions, and made sure to reassure him later that he was proud of him and that he made the right choice and he will always be better than his father for that. His ability to grow, mature and amount to something.

We both know they love a good fight, and they are ready and willing to throw blows with anyone if the other is getting fucked with. Let them have a little violence as a treat!

This was so much fun to do, thank you for asking me! I hope I answered in a way that makes sense!

[ianthoni]

All I can think about is how much Anthony is painting in blues lately and how his latest painting looks so much like the shapes and lines you see looking in someone’s eyes. Maybe I’m just delusional but he’s so obsessed with his mans I love it

Well you come to the correct type of delulu to say this cause i did in fact talk about this before.

To be honest with you from the beginning Anthony's art was always red/blue heavy. Which we and them associate with each other. And some other colors obv. And he always did eyes that looked so much like blue eyes. I'm gonna quote what i wrote before.

"Anthony's paintings always connected to Ian imo. But most obvious ones are the ones he make a connection with eyes and planets/galaxies/sun. Eclipse is one of them and the most obvious one clearly but i also wanna point out his eye drawings. Cause there's a lot. The first one is a blueish eyes with ice cube in it which i think can he mean ice blue, or the sparkle of the eye ( beauty of abstract) with yellow sparkles that almost looks like a sun shining, i can say it cause if you look at the next painting it is obviously a blue eye but also looking just like the sun, giving a double look to it with the rays. The shape looking very similar to the first one. This next one looks more like a galaxy yes but you cant ignore it also looks like a part of a blue iris that has the galaxy in it, again double meaning. The fourth one looks like two planets looking at the horizon there's a sun in the painting we associate that with Ian already but not only that that two planet looking orbs also look like a blue eye and a brown eye just like their eyes. Looking at the sun and the heart. Now this last one looks like a galaxy looks like milky way but again also it looks like a blue iris with a big pupil. Another double meaning with eyes and planets.

What's making all this relevant is the way he literally write it in the painting. He said "i see the universe in your eyes" he is looking at Ian's eyes and see the universe, the planets, the sun. And i think that is beautiful.

Also if you still didnt notice why his blue eyes paintings are related to Ian. He LOVES Ian's blue eyes. He thinks they're "out of this world" again a sign that he compares his eyes to the universe and galaxies."

And from my other painting analysis post you can find the full version here.

"Now the EYES. Anthony and his obsession with blue eyes. This is definitely coming from looong before (i.e all his past gfs being blue eyed) but you know who's the first blue eye he met? Yeah you guessed it right. Ian. It doesn't even have to be love, but i think ian's eyes were always a safe place to him, something warm and remind him of home and make him feel happy cause Ian makes him happy. And he always complimented ian's eyes, how they're beautiful and whenever Ian wears blue he always mentions it, he even said "your eyes are out of this word" in Jared Leto live stream. So he loves the blue eyes of a special person. And if you noticed before he loves drawing them too, either just blue pupils or full blue eyes but there's a couple of them. I'm specifically sharing this one cause he put a secret message in this. "I see the universe in your eyes" he shared lots of stuff about the universe and destiny and love. And talked about him and Ian meeting again was the universe's job/ destiny. So i think he is associating Ian with the destiny/universe/galaxies stuff. NOW what's MORE interesting is Ian shared that story 7 hours after Anthony shared his painting... Interesting right. Oh btw Anthony always share his painting steps but he didnt share the i see the universe in your eyes. Like its a secret message just for one person to get it. And that person got it and sent his own message back."

[sirwow]

hm. Thinking about Edega.. he’s very interesting to me so I’m gonna ramble for a sec about him.

after 5-2N Ian states this is the most Edega has ever spoken to (Lucky in specific) It’s strange for a cold man like him, but something similar happened with Hugh. The only two people Edega puts priority on were famous and influential, people who really could get word out. Mayhaps Edega wishes to give them the best care possible and do something revolutionary, getting their hospital on the chart. After all he stated himself that their hospital was pretty under due to the staff drought that they need an experimental intern to help. If he could do something revolutionary in medicine and really get that out there things would be better for patients and the staff.

(Cut here to not flood RD TL)

However. This is clearly overshadowed by selfishness. Edega is constantly on Ada and Ian for their productivity and time management, why aren’t they working harder and wasting their time when there’s so much to be done. Everyone must be self sufficient in Edega’s eyes, as long as what needs to be done is done for a patient, it’s good enough. Along with this, Edega always refers to the “ultimate cure” that’s being worked on as HIS, it’s HIS cure all. Despite seemingly Ian doing constant work for this project, intern and Ada gathering the tests and information, and the patients (especially Lucky) being guanine pigs to HIS cure. It’s clear the fame of a cure all bringing way to new things is snuffed by Edega’s intentions to take all fame for himself. They’re subordinates, why should they get credit?

And on that last note- the Patients. It’s already bad that Edega treats them as nothing more then numbers and care for them according to their status, but actively testing on them? The intern rhythm doctor program is stated to be just that a program. However, this program is not an equivalent alternative to healing. It helps in the short term, yes, but as seen with almost every patient they continue to need more treatments then just the one. Cole and Nicole’s addictions weren’t solved by the program, that was having each other, making the result of them being “cured” by the program a false positive.

Then there’s Insomniac. There’s no way Edega could of missed the reports of power getting knocked out in the hospital and my man’s literally LOSING part of his heart. And to be fair while they didn’t know the program caused it, he still didn’t take any procedures like stopping the program or going further into figuring out what went wrong to cause genuine damage. Lucky was being admitted and there was no time to waste on that, this was his chance to bring fame! Ian of course figured it out after chapter 5 inbetween working on this “cure” Edega wanted but it’s pretty clear Edega isn’t stopping the Rhythm Doctor program anytime soon. He’s too close now.

Call him Gabriel Icarus Edega, the sun is grand but the cost will drag him and everyone else down with him.

Ok I’m done being a nerd who looks too deep into things ❤️❤️ me when I grab this shithead and put him in the realm of “Good end goal - Bad practice and worse intentions in the pursuit of speed.” Bros a hypocrite for telling Lucky to be patient

[yukidragon]

Hi again dearie~ Sorry but I don't know if you posted anything about it, but, do you have any of your beautiful theories on as to Why, the MC doesn't remember making the deal with Jack when they met him?

It's really raking my brain on if it's important, that they remember or not, and as to what caused them to forget and the reason behind it....

Gosh, you really flatter me with such high praise. Thank you! I’m glad you enjoy my theories so much. 💖

The fact that MC can’t remember what happened is quite interesting. We, the players, are given glimpses in both versions of the demo of at least some of the initial conversation between MC and Jack. The fact that we don’t get to see it all and that MC forgets it hints to me that whatever happened that day resulted in their special bond.

There’s not enough clues to indicate what exactly happened, but I do have my own personal headcanon that I’m using for Sunshine in Hell. I’ve briefly mentioned in past theories among other topics that I think Jack and MC made a deal that created a bond between their souls. Specifically, they have a piece of each other’s souls.

The reason why I think this is because of the threatening monologue Jack gives an unknown person. He mentions that a piece of him is in a place the person can never reach and it’s growing bigger and stronger. In the “no” route he “taking some part” of MC. I think this piece mentioned in both cases is a piece of their souls, which creates the connection.

Considering consent and Jack being literally unable to do anything MC doesn’t want is a big part of the story, this leads me to believe that MC willingly agreed to this exchange. They can also choose to end the deal at any time.

Now... given Jack might be able to make MC black out, as we’ve seen after their conversation with Ian, it’s possible that he intentionally made them forget the deal. This would obscure the details of it and the limits of what they both can do while minimizing the risk that they might choose to end the deal.

However, what I personally believe happen was that it was an unintentional side-effect of the deal. Jack has spent the past 40 years having his soul tormented in hell. MC has not had their soul meddled with. I think having a piece of their souls exchanged was too much for MC to take and they blacked out from the pain. I mean... we’re talking literally taking a piece of their soul and replacing it with someone else’s. Trauma from intense pain can lead to memory loss, hence why they forgot their first meeting with Jack and the deal they made.

Why it doesn’t cause the same amount of pain in the “no” route when Jack is taking more is probably because their souls are already bonded. It’s possible that he could make the process painless at that point, as he did surround them in a thick cotton candy haze that made it hard for them to think. It might even have been done specifically to avoid making them experience the same level of pain as before when making their bond deeper... with their consent of course.

Why doesn’t Jack tell them the deal? Well... I think we can all agree that MC would have probably freaked out suddenly having a giant clown in their apartment without any memory of who he was or how he got there. If he tells MC about the deal without them remembering that they agreed to it might make them choose to undo the deal, thus sending him back to hell.

Jack can’t let that happen.

Sure Jack is keeping secrets from MC and in ways lying by omission, but someday they’ll understand... they just have to trust him. It’s for the best. He just wants what’s best for them, and what’s best for them is if they stay together... forever.

Anyway, this is just what I think is going on. I could be totally wrong here. We’ll just have to see when the full game comes out when the truth is finally revealed...

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur  

[lingy910y]

Ian and Mickey Meta Questions: Clothing

this is my moment 🙏 aka just me rambling to myself @gallavichmeta

1. When do you think the first time was that one wore the others clothes? And what feelings did they have about it?

I’m looking through gifs and it seems like the earliest occurence is during 2x01/3x11 with this grey hoodie? and my only interpretation of this is that sometime during the s2 summer, Ian left it at the dugouts after they fucked. and Mickey saw it in the corner of his closet since he also forgot to give it back, and naturally was drawn to it without realizing it’s Ian’s to help him cope with how sad he was :/

2. Mickey is the youngest brother in his family and Ian is the middle brother in his family. What feelings do they have about hand-me-down clothing?

Mickey didn’t care at all cause that’s the way life was for him in Terry’s household, sadly.

Well canonically Ian was tired of living under Lip’s shadow and he’s his only older brother, so naturally some of his clothes are his hand-me-downs. You can also see that in the show. I think that Ian didn’t rly mind this particularly, just shows how close he is with Lip y’know? and they have different styles but so similar at the same time esp Lip’s is more nerdy

3. Do you think either of them have a favourite outfit or item of clothing?

Oh I know Mickey fucking LOVES his black boat neck sleeveless tank. mans wears it all the time, like if he was in a dress up game this would be his default option. I saw a cute fanart speculating that the reason why he mostly wears sleeveless clothes esp in early seasons is bc he overheard Ian saying he esp loves a r m s in men so he cut them specifically, but I feel like he felt uncomfortable and wants to stretch his arms. we all know how he’s a man of action

On the other hand Ian is obsessed with military outfits 💀 first of all bro got the ugly buzzcut. ok sure, whatever, he changes hairstyles every season anyway. but then he was wearing his rotc uniform everywhere?? cutting it into shorts for the club? and he dared mickey to wear the camo for the gig 💀💀 he literally has a kink for it and it’s embarrassing i’m sorry. tho I’m a hypocrite cause he does look good in it, but when does he not? if a watch counts as an item of clothing tho I’m gonna say that instead

4. Do you think either of them have a least favourite item of clothing?

Can I say Mickey’s first wedding suit? Because he was yanking the bowtie when he came out of the dressing room and the whole thing was both literally and metaphorically was suffocating him. which was why it was so meaningful for him to get to choose his white suit (and other stuff in his second wedding), even if he had to straight-up take his and Ian’s by force ASDKFJL

Ian telling Mandy he didn’t want to starve himself to fit that golden thong was so :((( I think he also greatly regrets his job at the club, so all memories involving it are prob bad for him. rly wished the show didn’t just brush how he felt under the rug

5. What do you think their personal style says about them?

Well Mickey’s style screams thug (not necessarily king of the southside) that’s for sure

Ian’s fashion sense is very wack lmfao. I think it just means that he’s a silly goofy boy! Someone said "every cis gay millenial dude owns this shirt" under a gifset of his raglans 😭

6. What items of clothing hold most significance for them?

Didn’t Mickey personally say in 11x05 that he “loves this shirt” in response to the black shirt he was wearing, and the whole fandom agreed that it’s the same one that Ian wore to Mexico 🥺 MEANWHILE HE WAS WEARING THE FLANNEL?? THAT SPANS A WHOLE TIMELINE

And Ian’s EMT jacket def means a lot to him. Everytime I look at it I gain new waves of emotion so I can’t even imagine what he feels when he reminiscences during late nights TT

7. Do you think the way Mickey’s sense of style changed over time was to do with his relationship with Ian?

Yes, definitely. Says a lot that he was dirtier in the early seasons, like he never gave a fuck abt his appearance bc there were other things to focus on before Ian did. I can imagine Ian nuzzling Mickey’s shoulder during another one of their summertime fucks at the dugouts, so Mickey wanted to clean up nice for him without directly saying anything. And how overtime, he dressed more and more fashionable :D

8. Ian has worn a few different uniforms (ROTC, janitor, EMT, prisoner, fake EMT etc etc) over the course of the series, how do you think they made him feel?

I feel like the ROTC and EMT uniforms made him feel empowering, like he’s reaching his ambition of doing something with his life. Then the other ones like his stripper outfit as I’ve mentioned in 4, janitor, prison, fake EMT uniforms rly made him feel horrible. But I think he did grow to like his prison uniform after seeing Mickey in that white tank top all the time, maybe?

9. How does their emotional state affect their clothing choices?

It does, but I can’t necessarily find much apparent examples? But I like how in 3x09/ abandoned building, Mickey was wearing his sweater. I think sweaters and sadness definitely go together

10. We see Mickey wear colourful/Hawaiian shirts a couple of times, how do you think those types of clothes make him feel?

It makes him feel fun! The first time he clicks his tongue, does a little dance, and asks ian for his approval & the second time he lets out a “ooh!” He’s a cutie. I rly get emotional whenever Mickey gets to experience the little joys in life that he never rly got to express when he was younger. Then I get emotional for a different reason - he had a whole dream of laying in the sun with Ian in Mexico but he ended up doing it alone or not at all I’m fucking crying

11. Compare their first and last appearances, what do their outfits tell us about the characters?

They both dress more “maturely” in the last eps compared to the first ones :0c cargo jackets(?) !!!

[threadsun]

Ian doubts Ian? More likely than you think 😌 How much do you want to bet though that firehouse puppy has a few lockers specifically DEDICATED to the amount clothes that were given to them (including the ripped ones)? I’m sure one of guys made it all pretty too just for them. Now the question is if Jean would pull you into his lap WHILE wearing one of his handpicked outfits when someone visits the firehouse just to show how powerful he is. Oh absolutely to the insane amount of aftercare needed after Jean gets his hands on you. I’m sure that some of the guys made a watch group to makes sure Jean doesn’t go near you after one particularly rough session, switching who keeps an eye on you every so often. But definitely he knows not to push too far or he’d feel the wrath of all the other guys. Sometimes when firehouse puppy goes nonverbal from all the pleasure, they use the asl sign for no so that Joesph or Nick can jump in and stop the scene. OMG Ian would secretly LOVE being a firehouse bunny at that moment 😩 Maybe he’d sneak off every so often just to slip it on for JUST a moment~

You can work with anything? That’s makes sense with summoning spirits though, is there something that happens if someone doesn’t follow the rules like not knocking before entering the temple in the morning or summoning spirits in general? Exactly!!! No need to put yourself in danger just cause you’re a little curious about something!! Thank you 🩵 Yeah!! With how much things can change and shift, there’s always something new to learn so that’s why it’s amazing that we get the opportunity to learn about it! Oh that’s a shame that you had to deal with someone who is misinformed about Kabbalah :/ Hopefully they’ve brought in someone who’s Jewish to teach that class and knows what they’re talking since you’ve taken it! Learning about witchcraft in other countries must’ve been cool though!!! I can understand why you chose to do disability studies as a minor instead of witchcraft though! What did that minor consist of?

-🎃

Ian will believe literally anyone over himself, poor lad has NO self esteem 😔 They definitely have at least one locker full of clothes for their dog! Jean will do absolutely anything for a powerplay, so yeah he'd definitely dress them up and pull them into his lap and casually grope them while visitors are around. Anything to show his claim over them. He keeps everything on just the right side of okay so that the others don't try to take them away from him, while still being able to take all his sadistic urges and whatnot out on them. Everyone else can only really help by giving solid aftercare and keeping him occupied when they need a rest. Oh I love that so much, they all learned ASL so they could help hoh/deaf people during rescues, but it's very convenient for a nonverbal partner too! Ian would be so into it. He'd try to pretend he wasn't because he wants to seem as dommy as the rest of them, but he loves when the others bully him into putting his lil costume on and subbing with their puppy!

Not really, it's just considered rude. Which I guess runs the risk of a supernatural being not liking you, which would suck, but usually there's no consequences. It's just about being polite. I'm hoping they brought in someone Jewish to teach it, cause she was really awful and kept spouting lots of antisemitic bullshit too. But generally the other witchcraft courses I took were really cool and interesting!! For the disability studies minor, technically it's only an honorary thing. I was meant to be in the first class of students graduating with it, because the disability studies programme as an official department was new in my senior year. But then covid hit towards the end of my last semester, so they had to push off the creation of the minor. But I took all the required classes for it, so while it's technically not on my diploma I hit all the requirements for it. It mostly involved various classes about the social and medical models of disability, the history of disability, and the way it's portrayed in media and literature.

[middlefletcher]

Ian looked over at Ethan when he said it was uncomfortable when his schoolmates would tease him about birds. Definitely not the same as Ian’s mother trying to set him up with his tutors in very obvious ways, but Ian appreciated Ethan trying to relate it to something that happened to normal people. And he appreciated Ethan sharing about something that hadn’t been fun for him either. Ian gave him a grateful smile and shrugged. “I’ve considered telling her I’m not even into birds, but then I think she’d just start trying to get me to hit on the blokes instead, at least the ones that aren’t interested in her. Which is all of them except this one idiot that Cal fired. Either that or she’d see me as competition, which might actually be worse. Not something I want to test out either way.” Birds was safest, at least there was zero chance of anything happening for him there ever. Though up until a few days ago Ian would have said there was zero chance of anything happening for him with anyone. Now there was a specific someone that maybe he might want to take a chance on. And that specific someone was in his bedroom right now. Thankfully they were talking about homework which was enough to stop Ian from panicking too much. And much better than talking about Patricia. Ian laughed at Ethan’s assessment of Hogwarts schooling. “They did tell me that, but I always sort of wondered if they were just trying to make me feel better. Guess they weren’t kidding. Which sucks for you, being in a fancy magic castle and having to sit and write essays.” Ian made a face; that was so lame. Of course adults found a way to make magic school sort of lame, even if Ian still very much wished he could have gone and written essays in a magic castle like his siblings did. 

Luckily he was once again distracted, laughing at Ethan’s retort to his comment about bringing him vacuums. “Nah, if I had a vacuum shop I would have just hired you after the third vacuum, or at least tried to cut a deal or somethin’,” he answered with a chuckle. This was good. They were joking around, laughing. Normal. Except Ethan was still standing in his bedroom at his house and they were completely alone and thinking about it made Ian’s heart start speeding up again and his hands felt kind of sweaty. “Um.” Probably a cue it was time to just get out of here and go to Al’s. Instead of suggesting that, Ian went a different direction. “Everyone’s excited to meet you. You’re the first friend of mine they’ve ever met, other than Leo. And—well Leo’s great but that was more necessity, you know, ‘cause of Dirk joining Seb for tutoring.” Ian wasn’t sure why that mattered, but it felt like it did matter, and he felt like Ethan should know that. This was special. Ethan was special. “Um. I’m excited too, for you to meet them all,” he added with a bashful smile. “It’ll be cool.”

Inviting Ethan along to Al’s shouldn’t have felt like such a big deal. Al was always telling them to bring their friends along, especially this year now that the kids couldn’t see their friends at school anymore. Granted there had been a lot of reasons they never took Al up on that offer: the fact that Patty often liked to invite herself along, the fact that they didn’t want to impose on Al’s generosity, not to mention it was only the younger kids who even had that many friends they’d invite in the first place. But Cal had invited Wil along a few times so it only felt fair that Ian could invite Ethan this time. He’d tried to be casual about it, but it had been a relief when Sadie and Seb decided to bring friends along as well. It wasn’t just Ian shaking things up now. Ian was a little surprised Seb brought along Dirk instead of one of his other Gryffindor mates from school, but the pair did seem like they’d become fast friends and it had to be good for Dirk to be around people who didn’t remember him as the kid who went missing from Hogwarts. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too weird for Ethan. As if Ian’s whole family situation wasn’t weird enough. That stuff wasn’t Dirk’s fault though, so Ian was glad he was coming along to hang with some kids his own age. Henry coming too would be even better, the kids could all hang out together and no one would pay attention to him and Ethan.

Except Ian was quite certain Mac would be paying attention, and probably Cal because Mac had probably told Cal about their conversation. Probably waited to do it while Ian was at work so he wouldn’t overhear them. But it would be fine. Ethan had sounded like he was curious about meeting Al and his siblings and Ian didn’t see a reason not to bring him ‘round, at least once he knew Patricia wouldn’t be there. Ian just wished he didn’t feel so nervous about seeing Ethan. Which was stupid. There was nothing to be nervous about. Ethan was great and they were mates and it just so happened that Ethan fancied Ian and Ian fancied Ethan back and had no idea how to proceed with that information except that after talking about it with Mac he was pretty sure he wanted to be more than just friends with Ethan. He just wasn’t sure what that looked like or how to get there. Other than talking to Ethan about it, probably. But that felt like a big conversation to have right before introducing Ethan to his whole family. Maybe they could talk after. 

With that settled, Ian felt a little bit less nervous as he biked to the shop, grinning when he saw Ethan waiting there with his own bike. “Hey,” Ian greeted him with a wave as he stopped his bike. For a second he considered getting off and giving Ethan a hug or something, which was weird because he usually didn’t think about what he was doing when he touched Ethan. Or did anything with Ethan. Everything felt a little off-kilter now. Except there was still that warm happy feeling he felt when he saw Ethan. “You all set?” He said with a smile, waiting for Ethan’s confirmation before he nodded and led the way back to his house. This wasn’t the first time he’d had a friend to the house, since Leo had ended up coming over to get Dirk set up to tutor here. But bringing Ethan over—because Ethan was interested in seeing the house—felt a lot different than Leo coming by with his brother. Still, Patricia had been gone already before Ian left, and they’d just be stopping in on the way to Al’s. This was fine. “Here we are,” he said when they got to the house. “Come on, we can leave our bikes in the broom shed.” He hopped off his bike and walked it around to the backyard, pulling open the broom shed for them and showing Ethan where he could park his bike. “This is the best part of the house, really,” he added as they stepped back out into the backyard.

[wine-dark-seashells]

Sharing my favourite LotR trivia off the top of my head just cause I can and it makes me feel happy

1. gandalf hitting his head on the beam in bag end was not scripted. ouch. poor ian mckellen

2. viggo mortensen got arrested once bc he was walking home after filming and was swinging a sword around still dressed as aragorn. this was not a smart decision on his part.

3. because he was afraid of flying in a helicopter, sean bean climbed a MOUNTAIN every single day they were filming caradhas to get to the set. it took him about two hours each way iirc.

4. to help make galadriel look more mysical and elf-like, they put fairy lights in front of cate blanchett so they reflected in her eyes. this was supposed to show that she'd seen the light of the two trees in valinor. i love it.

5. the scene in FotR where aragorn deflects a knife in from an uruk-hai was not supposed to happen. the stunt double was not supposed to let go of that knife. viggo almost died y'all.

6. i'm fairly sure viggo also broke a tooth at some point. not sure when tho

7. when the three hunters (legolas, aragorn, and gimli) were filming those panoramic shots running through rohan, every single one of them was injured. orlando bloom had like two broken ribs, viggo had broken his toes, and brett beattie (the size double for gimli) had two dislocated knees. they were given a bag of candy and told to run whenever they saw the helicopter coming. how is everyone involved with these movies not dead yet.

8. obligatory VIGGO BROKE HIS TOE IN THAT SCENE WHERE HE KICKED THE HELMET

9. a good percentage of the rohirrim on horses (the "men" of rohan) were actually women with beards bc they couldn't get enough men and there were many women with horses available

10. possibly the most cursed one on this list. andy serkis drank what he liked to call his "gollum juice" while on set. it was actually a mixture of lemon, honey, and ginger and was supposed to soothe his throat after talking himself hoarse while acting. gollum juice.

11. for that scene where the witchking of angmar is lifting his mace threateningly, peter jackson kept insisting it be bigger to look more threatening. the final product was so insanely heavy that there was someone helping lawrence makoare lift it bc he just,, couldn't. this person was lying on their back to do this. yes the outtakes are fucking hilarious.

12. i've seen this one making the round on social media but here it is anyways. when peter jackson was telling christopher lee how to act after he'd been stabbed, lee stopped him and just, oh so casually, informed the director that no, that's not what someone getting stabbed sounds like. christopher lee knew this because he'd been an intelligence officer in the RAF in world war 2. this is also your daily reminder that christopher lee was a fucking badass.

13. this is the last bc thirteen is a lot and i'm tired lol. the land where they filmed a bunch of the battle of pelennor fields was actually a testing ground for the new zealand army and just slightly filled with unexploded ordinance. they had to get special permission to film there. why there specifically? because it was the only place in new zealand that looked enough like a desert. again, how is everyone involved with these movies not dead yet???

anyways lmk if u want me to do a part two or whatever or even one for the hobbit. even tho i have my issues with the hobbit movies themselves, the behind the scenes trivia is funny lol.

[gardenerian]

Mel, I've noticed you've mentioned your abundance of feelings re: Monica a few times, but I don't know if I've read them (outside some thoughts in your tags). If you feel like sharing, I'd love to read your thoughts and feelings on Monica.

okay alright sure, feeling very normal about putting this into words, not nervous at all totally confident okay yeah here are my thoughts -

first off, i gotta say that I’m biased. i freely and fully admit that. there is far more grace in my heart for monica than there is for frank because there’s a part of us that’s intimately connected. as such, this isn’t so much a meta post as it is me trying to verbalize some very visceral emotions 😬

what compels me most about monica, like what i find so tragic about her, is all the ✨ what if ✨ energy baked into her story. what if she’d crawled through anyone else’s window instead of frank’s? what if she left him, but not her children? what if she’d stayed in treatment for the long haul? what could she have been? what if her terrible fucking choices weren’t so readily enabled, what if she had a partner who supported her health, what if she loved herself and her children enough to commit to them? to commit to her own stability? or like... was she always going to be like that? i don’t know. we can’t know. 

i firmly believe that two things can be true at once. monica was not a good parent. her illness did not cause this. ultimately, she probably should not have procreated. she made choice after choice that i would have fought against. but she was also a victim. she also suffered. she was so multidimensional, and it makes me absolutely insane when people write her off as just one thing. she was kind, but not when it mattered. she was selfish, but she loved so hard, even though that love was fleeting. she was warm, but she’d also burn them up. she was fun and so alive, but she valued fun and self-destruction more than her children.    

the gallagher siblings have every right to resent her. she did not do right by them, and she let them down at every turn. i understand why fiona kicks at her, why lip pushes her away. i get why ian is so fucking scared of her. debbie and carl are absolutely traumatized by her. liam looks at her and asks who she is.... like, this is their reality. when you have children, you really forfeit the right to tank yourself. as a mother, she failed in every sense. 

but as a character.... as a piece of a story..... as a story herself... i just think she’s something special. i can’t explain it. she’s important. she struggles and she suffers and she has such clear and specific experiences with this disorder that i can’t help but understand her. just a little bit. there are things that she does that make sense to me, just as there are things she does that make me want to shake her (this is true of every single character on this show, of course). 

i have monicas in my family. i am very lucky that they are not my parent. but i completely understand what it is to want someone to chose you over their indulgences and self-destruction. to want them to try fucking harder, to put the work in. to crave them and want them, but to also fucking hate them and then hate yourself for wanting them. like there are moments with these people where i have to duck out and remind myself that they are not my future. but i still see them. in a way, maybe that’s what monica is for me too. like she is for ian. i don’t know. she terrifies me, but she’s fascinating. 

[i-want-my-iwtv]

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true, but if they are I can sort of see why they're going for this route? I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

TL;DR: My kneejerk reaction was to be saddened, and I don’t like that this is starting up, and will continue to fuel, fandom drama. Ultimately, if we want peace, we’ll embrace the fact that the existence of this adaptation doesn’t take away from the existence of the books, and it also doesn't mean we have to acknowledge it.

It makes me wonder whether AMC wants us to make a storm about this. We’ll see...

After all, what makes this adaptation any more important than the graphic novels of the ’90s, the graphic novel Claudia’s Story, movie!IWTV, or movie!QOTD? In fact, many fans here on tumblr consider VC to be a trilogy only!!! and don’t accept the majority of the PUBLISHED CANON so what makes anyone think we have any obligation to swallow this AMC adaptation as some kind of gospel?

I see movie!QOTD as a buffet of ideas carried in an official fanfiction work, and I don’t accept as my headcanon the various things it changed about the books that I didn’t particularly like, such as merging Magnus and Marius (which, IMO, effectively made both characters more morally reprehensible). I accepted the things I did enjoy, like casting a Black/POC actress to play Akasha. I see this AMC adaptation as a buffet of ideas, some can be taken, and some not, it’s just another official fanfiction work.

[Anon, I need to catch other ppl up on the information, too.]

Deadline.com informs us that in the AMC adaptation for Interview with the Vampire, Jacob Anderson has been cast as Louis. I'm not familiar with him, but it looks like he’s a successful actor, from Game of Thrones and other things, he’s also joining Series 13 of Doctor Who. I’ll have to check him out from an acting standpoint!

Aside from his talent as an actor, this is by far the most controversial thing that's happened in VC fandom recently. I've been thinking about this for a few months now, talking about it privately online and offline, still gathering my thoughts. So this post is not engraved in stone, it’s initial thoughts on this.

I’m glad to see ppl talking about it and I’m sure we’ll have more public discussions. I’m trying to discuss it very carefully, but also, this is an entertainment blog, my opinions are mine alone, and I’m not looking for dogpiling on anyone, I have no obligation to respond publicly or privately to anything. Plenty of other ppl have differing opinions on this. So take all of the following with more than a grain of salt, I’m not being salty, I’m providing the links to the little info we’ve seen pulicly, I’m giving my initial thoughts, and I’m also trying to add a little levity because ultimately, again, this is an entertainment blog, and I try to add a little humor to help with such serious topics, humor can help ppl talk about controversial things.

-----

The casting of a POC/Black actor (I’m sorry I don't know the preferred terminology, let me know if you know what Anderson prefers) confirms at least one part of theilluminerdi articles that stated that Louis’ race will be different from the books. I didn’t post about these before bc I wasn’t sure how reliable theilluminerdi’s sources are (and I'm still not sure), but this was one major aspect that theilluminerdi announced before Deadline did, so now seems to be the right time to share those articles. For now, you can go check them out yourselves rather than have my reposting of the information, trigger warning: mentions of sex workers and race in the changes to the canon story of Interview with the Vampire.

>>>theilluminerdi articles from May 21, 2021 and July 15, 2021:

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/05/21/interview-with-the-vampire-amc

www.theilluminerdi.com/2021/07/15/interview-with-the-vampire-amc-2

^Meme of Dr. Ian Malcom from Jurassic Park reads: “Your writers were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

I’m using that meme with a little levity here, clearly an AMC adaptation of vampires in which the producers/writers have chosen to change the race of a main character (arguably the original protagonist of the series) isn’t in the same VICINITY as the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park that broke out of containment and killed visitors to the park, but John Hammond’s intention for the creation of that park was very good, as I assume this race change was intended. Time will tell.

“But with this place, I wanted to show them something that wasn't an illusion. Something that was real, something that they could see and touch. An aim not devoid of merit.”

“Creation is an act of sheer will.” 

- John Hammond, Jurassic Park

Race is a more complicated subject than ever, so for AMC to make this bold change, I hope they have POC and Black writers on staff and are handling this very carefully. Even then, no racial group, including POC and Black people, are a hivemind, disagreements are bound to happen in the writing room, whether in good faith or bad. People have different intentions and motives, compromises will probably be made with the story in many ways, we all know how it goes with collaborations; the end product is a shared vision among multiple creators. This could be a potentially controversial adaptation, I don’t know whether they’re aiming for that or not, but with the elements it has so far, it seems to be headed that way.

Here's a comment by "Angellus" on the 5/21 article. It's undeniable that there's going to be the accusation of racism thrown at anyone who has any negative view of this change, regardless of their reasons. I find it unfair and narrow-minded that any negative response is automatically assumed to be coming from a racist point of view. To say that changing Louis' race is unequivocally an improvement fails to take into account how that change has a Domino effect on all of the other parts of the story. Not the least of which is that, if he is still a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term) that adds a whole new racist element to his owning Black/POC people, even though, apparently there were Black/POC plantation owners. 

Not the least of which: How will this change impact his relationship with Lestat? Particularly when Lestat has the added issue of being described in those articles as having “mind control abilities” and “insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection,” a terrible combination in terms of consent, even in a relationship of the same race, let alone invoking Caucasian/white dominance over Black/POC people, AND Lestat being the catalyst to Louis’ questioning his sexuality:

Lestat is insistent that he gets what he wants and when facing rejection, petulance can quickly turn to ruthless rage which causes frenzied acts of horrifically brutal violence. Lestat also has mind control abilities. Lestat initially infuriates Louis, but this soon turns to fascination which leads Louis to question his religion and sexuality. 

^Screencap reads: "I love how racist everyone is in the damn comments, this doesn’t pervert the story you’re all racist and it’s disgusting. I’m looking forward to it, I hope you keep crying your salty racist tears asswipes."

It makes me question whether Angellus truly believes what they wrote, if this is an ideology, or a troll. I would suggest their use of the term “pervert” is correct though, pervert means: “alter (something) from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.” That’s what this race change does, factually. Although, in this context, “distortion or corruption” carries a negative connotation. It would take a lot to show how this change does not meet the definition or “to pervert,” though.

I hope the rumours of Louis being a brothel owner aren't true

I agree 1,000%, I was hoping that these were just rumors. But, aside from the race change, if this were the only change, I find Louis being a brothel owner to be equivalently morally reprehensible to being a slaver/slave holder/plantation owner/(insert your preferred term). Ideally, they’d change his career to something that doesn’t involve benefiting from the bodies/labor of others in any morally reprehensible manner.

I mean, with a black Louis they can't have him being a slaver anymore, so maybe they're trying to find something that is also morally reprehensible for him to be.

He might still be a slaver. Who knows. Being morally reprehensible as a mortal man didn’t seem to me to be crucial to the story, but they still could have chosen something better. It seems to me like they want a brothel so they can have eye candy for an audience who want to see sex workers, maybe full frontal nudity. 

-----

What also gets my attention is that Anne and Christopher Rice have not yet posted publicly about it, which leads me to believe that this change wasn’t their choice. They take every chance to brag when they’re proud of something, every chance to crowdsource about casting ideas or which VC books Anne’s fans liked best, etc., and in this case, as of Aug. 31, 2021, (and to be fair, maybe I missed it), I haven’t seen either of them post about this on the official VC FB, Anne Rice’s FB, Annerice.com, Christopher Rice’s FB, or christopherricebooks.com. If it had been their choice, I think they would have gladly trumpeted their credit by now, but maybe they’re waiting to do it in a specific venue. Time will tell.

[grabmyboner]

Hi, Zo! I hope you don’t mind I screenshot your tags:) Cause I love your tags and I DO wanna talk about Cam and Noel being secure enough to do this. It’s one of my favorite aspects of them as actors in these roles. I think that’s why Ian and Mickey are so believably in love, because Cam and Noel don’t hold back a bit in their performances. They aren’t timid when they touch each other, they use very visible tongue when they kiss, they are just so clearly comfortable with one another. That’s not nothing when we’re talking about two straight men convincingly portraying a gay couple madly in love. And I think they both sat down off camera and really talked about what they wanted that relationship to look like on screen and were able to pull that off so believably and beautifully. I saw an interview with Cam from a few years ago where he said he and Noel had developed a bit of a shorthand when working together and likened it to musicians who have played together for a long time being able to riff off of one another. And that sometimes Noel will play something in an unexpected way and Cam will throw something back at him and vice versa. Them being able to do that so well, in my opinion, is what makes Mickey and Ian so lovely to watch.

Referring to the HoS “blooper” kiss specifically, I love how they slip in and out of character and so much of Cam and Noel shine through as they try out different sayings. It’s so fun and again, shows how comfortable they are together and how well they can play off of each other on the fly. I have no real evidence to support this, but I fully believe that Noel’s “come over here with that sweet lovin’ mouth” line was completely off the cuff and he intended it to be a much sweeter version of the “cock pocket, Clay Aiken pie hole” etc. line and Cam went in for a kiss, matching Noel’s more tender line. I believe it to be all improv at that point and that they just went for it knowing they were only about half in character was so awesome to me. They are so comfortable with themselves and with each other and that just shines through anytime they are onscreen together.

This got long, sorry!

You’re so so sooooo correct!!!

They are both such incredible actors and them being so secure and ok with themselves is the reason their characters work so well.

Like I don’t think I’ve seen any two same sex characters have such good chemistry on screen that doesn’t even seem slightly forced. Like they don’t seem forced at all, it doesn’t feel like I’m watching two actors playing a same sex couple it feels like two real men in a real same sex relationship and that’s insane and just a testament to how talented they are.

I could talk about this till the cows come home, it just blows my mind and makes me so proud of two people I don’t even know lmaoooo

[anonymous-tals]

Oops, I projected my mental health issues onto a fictional character that is similar to me.  Time to write fanfiction, I guess!

TW: Eating Disorders.  If you are struggling or are in recovery from an eating disorder, here’s a big ol’ trigger warning.  There are no numbers or specifics about anything but it does center around Brad Bakshi of the show Mythic Quest struggling with his eating disorder.

This is not in an attempt to glamorize eating disorders(not that I wrote anything that would but just in case someone misinterprets this).  Eating disorders are not cute or quirky.  They are serious illnesses that lead to death.  If you are struggling with an eating disorder, you deserve recovery.  Please reach out for help to a trusted adult.

National Eating Disorder Association 1-800-931-2237

One last trigger warning for eating disorders before we begin!  I hope the writing isn’t trash.  If you have any critiques, feel free to comment them.  I hope you enjoy the story(if this is cringey, future me, you have permission to murder me right now):

Brad’s eyes opened, squinting as he tried to adjust to the harsh lights.  He looked around the room, confused as to where he was.  After a couple of seconds, he identified the room as a hospital room.  There was a lady sitting on a chair by the door reading a book.  Adjusting himself, Brad slowly sat up, his head aching as he did.  The lady perked up as she noticed Brad had awakened.

“Oh!  You’re awake!”, she said, calmly, putting down her book.

“Where-Where am I?”, said Brad.

“You’re in the hospital, sir.”  Brad looked around the room.  The walls were a cool green.  Typical nature photos shuffled through on a tv that was mounted on the wall in front of his bed as it waited to be used.  There was a thin door that he guessed was either a bathroom or a closet.  Brown cupboards lined the walls.  He moved his arm only to notice there was a tube attached to it.

“What the hell happened?”, he thought.  The previous day, or what he presumed to be the previous day, had been foggy.  Well, pretty much everyday lately had been a blur.

“I’m going to go tell a nurse you’re awake so we can do weights and vitals.”  A pang of fear struck him at the sound of the word weight.  Someone else was going to see what he weighed.  His thoughts were racing.

“Just take a deep breath.”, he thought.  He tried to calm himself down by looking around the room.  He noticed there was a card on the counter beneath the cabinets.  Curiosity got the best of him and he stood up.  Stars popped into his vision and he steadied himself before making his way to the counter.  The tube was just barely long enough for him to reach it.  The cover read, ‘Get well soon!’.  Brad walked back to the hospital bed and sat on the edge of the mattress.  “I wonder who it’s from?”, he thought, opening the card.  “I can’t believe you are in the hospital!  You appeared so healthy.  Get well, soon, motu.”

“Brad Bakshi?”, a nurse called from the doorway.  He looked up, tossing the card into a trash can by the bed.  The lady who had been sitting in the room with him walked in and sat down again, opening her book.  “Hello, I’m Amanda Armstrong and I’ll be your nurse today.  Do you know why you’re here?”, she said.

“No.”, Brad replied, shortly.

“Well, you were brought here by…”, she looked down at a clipboard she was holding.  “...Ian Grimm?  Does that name sound familiar?”

“Yes, he’s my boss.”  Brad kept his voice calm but his heart was starting to quicken.  Memories from the day previous began to surface.

“Well, he said you had fainted while walking up a flight of stairs.”  Brad’s calm demeanor cracked as the memories flooded back.

“Oh...yah.  I remember that.”

“Yes, well, you got a concussion.  Thankfully, it isn’t too bad.”

“When will I be getting out?”, Brad said, shaking away his feelings of anxiety.

“Well, let’s take your vitals first and then we can discuss that.  Come with me.”  Brad followed Amanda out into the hall.  They didn’t walk for long but the environment made him feel uneasy.  There was something surreal about it.  Or maybe it was the fact that he felt a little light headed that made everything feel a bit off.  “We’ll be in here.”, said Amanda, opening the door.  Brad entered the room, surveying his surroundings.  It looked like a typical room for check-ups.  Amanda made her way to the computer sitting on the desk and started logging in and opening a file.  “Ok, let’s do your vitals.  I’m going to ask you to lay down and stay still, please!”  She walked over to the wall where a weird machine stood.  “I’m just going to put this on your arm, if you’d roll up your sleeve for me.”  Brad rolled up his sleeve and she velcroed what appeared to be something relating to blood pressure.  “Ok, I’m going to need you to answer honestly.  Have you had any feelings of depression or sadness?”

“Excuse me?”, said Brad, startled, sitting up.

“Please lay down, Mr.Bakshi.  Begrudgingly, Brad lay down.

“Why on earth are you asking me this?”, said Brad, frustrated.

“Well…”, she hesitated.  “Ok, I’m going to be direct with you here.  Your boss reported that you hadn’t been eating much and you have been appearing to be quite fatigued and dizzy.  Right now, we’re doing your vitals to see what we’ll need to do.”

“Are you implying that I have an eating disorder?  I’ll tell you right now that I don’t.”

“Well, the lanugo is telling a different story.  Now, please, let’s go through the questions.”  The nurse asked the questions while doing the vitals despite Brad giving short, passive aggressive answers.

“Ok, time for weight and height.”  Brad's heart quickened.

“Do we have to?”

“I’m going to have you turn around.  You won’t even see it!”  He stepped onto the scale as he tried to hide his growing panic.

“You fat idiot.  If you restricted more, maybe you wouldn’t be so anxious right now.  You wouldn’t even be here, I bet!  You fat, stupid, fatty-”

“Ok, you can step off!”  The nurse's voice interrupted his thoughts and he stepped off the scale.  Ok, let’s do your height.

She measured his height and then went over the computer and input the information.

“Ok.  So, here’s what we’ve got going on here, Mr.Bakshi.  Your vitals are showing symptoms of anorexia and so is your BMI.”

“BMI is garbage.”, Brad said dismissively.

“Well, that doesn’t disregard any of the other information.  I can’t force you to do anything since you’re an adult but I would highly suggest going into inpatient care.”

“For the last time, I don’t have an eating disorder!  Sorry, I care about my health!  I thought losing weight was a good thing!”  The nurse sighed before closing out of the tabs on the computer.

“Well, you can think it over during the next couple days.  You’ll need to stay here to make sure your head is okay.”  Rolling his eyes, Brad scoffed.

“Fine, whatever.  My decision won’t change, though!”

They headed back to the room and Brad sat down on his bed.  He stared at the tv.  It had just faded to a picture of a monarch butterfly on a purple flower.  His gaze travelled across the room until it fell onto the card he had thrown in the trash can.

“I bet I wouldn’t even get diagnosed with anything.  I’m too fat.  I need to be thinner.  I’m not even that bad.  I need to be that bad, though.”  Just then, a sharp knock on the door halted his thoughts in their tracks.  Brad looked up to see David standing at the doorway with a balloon and a gift bag.

  “Great, just what I needed.”, said Brad, sarcastically.

“Nice to see you too, Brad.”  Brad rolled his eyes in response.  “The office was really worried about you!  You sure took a tumble.  Anyways, here’s a balloon!  And a gift!  Courtesy of your friends at the office!”

“Interesting.  I didn’t consider you guys as friends.”, Brad replied coldly.

“What do you want me to say, then?  Huh?  Courtesy of everyone you annoy and pester?”  Brad looked away, not responding.  He was finding it harder and harder to keep his emotions hidden underneath.

“Listen, David.  I don’t care about you guys and you guys don’t care about me and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“I’m sorry we’re decent enough human beings to care about other people.”

“Pshh, you don’t care about me.  You just want to feel good about yourselves so you can feel like you’re a decent human being.  So you can stop pretending you care about me because you don’t, ok?  No one does.”  His emotions were slipping through.  He could feel his eyes welling up but he wouldn’t allow the tears to fall.

“Come on, Brad.  Of course people care about you!  Your brother for example!  He’s a great guy!  He threw you that awesome birthday party, remember?”  Brad sat still, not responding.  “Earth to Brad, anyone in there?”, David said, giving a small laugh.

“Shut up!”  Brad shouted loudly, causing David to wince.  “My brother is a horrible person.  He has gone out of his way to ruin my life.  In fact, he is ruining my life right now.”  His voice cracked as a tear broke through.

“Brad, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize-”

“Just leave, ok?  Please just leave.”  Brad’s heart began to beat faster.  “You idiot.”, he thought.  “You let him see that you’re weak.  You are weak.  You’re just a fat, weak, pussy.”  His breathing was getting quicker and quicker.  The room started to spin.  It felt like everything was happening all at once.  Just then, he felt a hand on each of his shoulders.

“Take a deep breath, ok?”, said David.  Brad hesitated before taking a deep breath in and letting it out.  “In, 2, 3, 4.  Out, 2, 3, 4.  In, 2-”  Slowly Brad began to calm down.  He opened his eyes, not even realizing that he had closed them.  “Better?”, asked David, taking a step back.  Brad looked towards the window, avoiding eye contact, wiping the tears from his face.  He tried to think of something witty to say but he was too tired.  They were both quiet for a bit before David broke the silence.  “Well, I have to go but I-”

“Stay.  Please.”  Brad didn’t break eye contact with the window.

“I...I guess I could stay.”  David pulled up the chair that the lady had been in earlier.  They sat there in silence for a while before David grabbed the remote for the TV.  “Are you good with me putting something on?”  Brad stayed quiet.  “I’ll take that as a yes!”  He scrolled through the small selection of movies before choosing something and relaxing into his chair.

…

They sat there for a while.  Movies played while David talked about what had happened at the office that day.  Poppy and Ian created an obstacle course to see who was better.  Not better at one specific thing.  Just better in general.  Brad didn’t respond but every once in a while, a small smile would crack through.

“Well, it’s getting late so I think I should actually get going.”, David said, standing up and started walking out the door.  Just before he left, Brad spoke.

“Thank you...for staying and all.”  He, once again, wasn’t making eye contact.

“Of course, man.  It’s no big deal!”  There was a pause before Brad spoke again.

“They want me to do an inpatient program.”

“Oh?  For…”  David trailed off.

“Yah…”  Brad started fidgeting with the corner of the blanket on the bed.  “I don’t know what to do.  Whether I should go or not.”

“Well, I’d say you should do what you think would benefit you best.”, said David, taking a couple steps towards him.  Brad was silent.

“...Thanks, David.”

David gave a small wave as he walked out the door.  Brad sat there awake for a while, unable to sleep.  He sat there, listening to the sounds of the hospital through the door.  A woman, presumably a nurse, poked her head in the room.  “Would you like to order dinner?”  Brad shook his head and the nurse left.  He then spotted the gift bag that David had brought.  He picked it up and removed the tissue paper stuffed in at the top.  Inside there was a pig plush and a card.  The plushy was adorable and very soft.  He pet the pig plush, enjoying the soothing texture, before placing it in his lap and moving onto the card.  It was your typical get better soon card.  On the inside, there were either signatures or little get well messages from everyone.  It seemed like the pig plush was Jo’s idea.  Brad leaned over and placed the card on the side table next to his bed.  He looked at it for a minute before grabbing the pig, getting under the covers and falling asleep.

[abundanceofnots]

Prompt! After seeing that ball gag in the basketball hoop in their room, I’m hilariously imagining Franny wandering downstairs with it during breakfast or something and everyone freaks out about it, or something similar lol

Forewarning: As you could’ve guessed, this one is pretty dirty. In fact, I’ll probably never recover from writing some of these words. You’ll know which ones I mean. Damn it, Shameless, why are these things canon?!

---

They were talking again. Loud, like they didn’t give two shits who could hear them, even though the house was full of people.

Lately, it’d become almost nonstop, and Debbie had just about enough of it – and them.

“Take it, you insatiable slut!” 

“Yes, fuckin’ impale me with your monster cock!”

As she stood behind the closed accordion door, which frankly did nothing to silence all the bizarre exclamations and assorted sex noises, she scrunched her face in disgust. Thankfully, her ears only felt like they were bleeding, and the real damage was happening just to her inner calm.

This time, Ian and Mickey were going at it at half past seven on a Sunday, throwing around words that would make even the creators of bad pornos cringe. 

They’d been on her shitlist ever since she found several dried come stains on her lilac bath robe, and really, her frustration with them only grew stronger from there. It was one thing that they apparently made sex into a full-time hobby; sounding like absolute perverts throughout their daily (and nightly) numerous rounds was another. 

Debbie could take it no more. She was long past the point of finding it funny. There were now very specific, lewd details about her older brother forever embedded in her mind – and she fondly looked back at the days when Ian was still behind bars and dearly missed.

Checking that her palm was covering Franny’s eyes, she squeezed her own eyes tightly before getting a blind hold on the accordion door. She yanked it open, immediately causing the verbal vomit to stop.

“The actual fuck, Debbie!” 

She heard scrambling and annoyed groans and, eventually, to what sounded like a fight over the comforter, the bed creaked as someone got off it. She took that as her cue and secured her hold on Franny, who started to dig her little fingers into Debbie’s palm.

“I’ve had it with you two assholes!” she raged, using her free hand to gesticulate wildly. “I was fine with the exaggerated moans and the fact that seeing your ugly naked asses around on a daily basis was now a given, but if I have to hear the words uber-masculine slut and dom top daddy one more time, I’m gonna make sure you won’t be able to stick your dicks anywhere. For a long time.” 

She paused, becoming faintly aware that someone was hurriedly trying to get dressed somewhere to her left.

“Now, I’m gonna go back to bed,” she continued, much calmer, satisfied that her case was being heard without protests, “and you’re gonna watch Franny because you both owe me. Big time.”

The room was silent, the atmosphere tense. Debbie let out a frustrated huff. 

“Just tell me when,” she prompted, too scared to open her eyes. 

For a second, it seemed like Ian and Mickey argued without saying a thing out loud. Then, settling on whatever, Ian cleared his throat. 

“Yeah.”

Debbie immediately regretted not leaving without sparing them another glance. Because while Ian was at least dressed, standing in front of her in his boxers and a T-shirt that was both too tight and inside-out, Mickey sat on the bed only with the comforter bunched in his lap. 

They were both sweaty and out of breath, and Debbie felt herself flush when she noticed the visible handprints on Mickey’s neck. 

Still, she recovered fast, piercing them both alternately with a hard stare. “Can’t believe I even have to say this, but no fucking in front of my kid!” she warned, pointing her finger at them.

---

The slam of Debbie’s bedroom door successfully burst the strange bubble they got themselves caught up in. Their eyes instantly snapped to each other. 

“I call shower,” Ian announced plainly.

“Fuck you, I call shower first,” Mickey countered. “I was about to bust a nut anyway.”

“What’s bustanut?”

It was the first thing they heard Franny say, and, yeah, Debbie was definitely going to break both of their dicks after this, wasn’t she?

“Well, Franny,” Ian started as he leaned down to her, maneuvering her a little so that she wouldn’t catch a glimpse of Mickey’s naked form as he untangled himself from the comforter, “that’s a thing adults say when they have to brush their teeth. And your Uncle Mickey has a really stinky breath this morning.”

“Like you’re one to talk, bitch.” 

Ian looked up to Mickey poking his tongue in his cheek, his loosely curled fist moving in front of his face in a rather obvious motion. He shot him a glare, but Mickey just pulled his boxers up and left the room, chuckling.

The good news was that Franny seemed content with that. Shrugging her shoulders, she hopped on their rumpled bed and started jumping on it. Ian decided it was better than having to crack the ol’ concept of male ejaculation to her on an early Sunday morning and went about his routine as usual. 

It didn’t take long until something else caught Franny’s attention and she started making low frustrated noises.

Putting on his deodorant, Ian watched in the mirror as she struggled with the cap of their lube. 

“Is this a special sauce?” she asked, all bright-eyed and curious.

Ian snickered. Franny knew all about special sauces ever since Liam started experimenting with making his own in the kitchen a few weeks ago. 

“Yeah, I guess it kinda is a special sauce, in a way,” he replied amusedly. “Uncle Mickey says he doesn’t like it, but he’s a filthy liar.” 

“Smells like strawberries.”

“Yeah, it does.” He turned, grinning at her. “Nice, huh?” 

She held the tube out for him. “Can I try?”

Instead of opening it for her like she probably expected, Ian took it from her and shoved it in the closest drawer.  

“Maybe in a few years.” 

Franny sighed dramatically, and Ian observed in real-time as he started losing his fun uncle points with her. But it didn’t matter how pouty she got; he couldn’t actually let her play with their lube. Mickey was right – that shit was expensive.

It only took about a minute this time before she got bored again. Kicking the bed involuntarily with her feet hanging over its edge, she scanned the messy room. Finally, her eyes fell on a black leathery thing laid on top of the laundry basket by the bed. 

“What’s that?”

Ian pursed his lips as he thought of the best answer, but before he could give her any, he got interrupted.

“It’s a ball gag,” Mickey supplied as he strode into the room with only a towel around his hips. His hair was wet, and the unashamedly self-satisfied smirk on his face had Ian roll his eyes.

“What’s a ball gag?”

“It’s—”

“A toy!” Ian said, a little panicky. “A toy that Uncle Ian and Uncle Mickey like to play with. Especially Uncle Mickey.”

Pausing on his way to their closet, Mickey smacked Ian’s ass. Waggling his eyebrows, he then leaned in to lightly peck his cheek.

“You betcha.” 

Franny’s eyes widened with excitement. “Can I play, too?” 

She got her hands on the contraption at the same time as Ian, who at first tried to scare her off with a stern look. Failing that, he started pulling on the strap, giving out a somewhat tentative laugh.

“Really not a good idea.”

“I wanna play, too! Please!”

“Franny—”

With an ear-splitting screech, she slipped the ball gag from Ian’s grasp and set off running out of the room.

“Crap,” Ian muttered, slapping hard at Mickey’s arm when he had the nerve to chuckle. “Dumbass, your dick’s on the line here, too, you know?”

In the kitchen, he found Franny making rounds around the table; the sex toy held over her head victoriously like a golden trophy. Thankfully, the only person sitting there was Lip, who seemed genuinely entertained by the sudden spectacle.

“Uncle Lip, Uncle Lip, do you wanna play with my ball gag?” Franny asked mid-run.

“Uh, maybe later?” Still smiling, Lip shot his brother a look, pointedly raising a brow.

“Franny?” Ian tried playing nice with a sing-song voice. When the kid slipped past him over and over again, he decided to change his tactics. “Franny! Gimme that!”

“No!” she yelled stubbornly as she took off toward the living room. Unluckily for her, that’s where Mickey, having come down the other set of stairs, caught her. 

As he walked back with her, he held her under his arm so that her tiny legs kicked the air behind his back as she tried to wiggle free. “Sorry, kid, but Uncle Mickey doesn’t share his toys,” he told her as he settled her down in the kitchen. 

Lip sniggered into his mug. 

“So, breakfast?” Mickey suggested after he passed the ball gag to Ian. “I’m fuckin’ starving.”

While Ian hid the sex toy upstairs, Mickey made Pop-Tarts. And Franny, being the good girl she was, sat there through all that and quietly sulked. 

Then, after nibbling on her breakfast for some time, she stood up resolutely.

“I’m gonna go bustanut,” she stated loudly, nearly prompting Lip to choke on his coffee.

He watched as Mickey cackled, and shook his head.

“Debbie’s gonna kill you both, you know?”

Mickey just smirked. “Can’t wait to see her try.”

[apolloloki97]

“Gay Judas” Mickey Milkovich x Ian Gallagher

Summary: When Mickey hears about Ian’s Gay Jesus bullshit, he decides it’s time to intervene.

Word Count: 2235

Warning: Swearing, Bipolar Disorder

Song I Wrote To: “Heat Waves Stripped-Version” by Glass Animals

Note: I really needed Mick to show up and shut this shit down and so I wrote this.

--------

Mickey Milkovich had uprooted his life for Ian Gallagher and he was happy to do it.

That is until it involved Ian being a complete moron. 

Mickey had been at a random bar somewhere outside the main city he was staying in while in Mexico when he had caught a shot of his ex-boyfriend’s face on someone’s phone nearby. All it said was Chicago’s Gay Jesus and Mickey knew something was very wrong. It didn’t take him long to find the articles about Ian’s new crusade and that was when he had risked a call to Svetlana.

Hearing that Ian had become some kind of gay symbol was one thing, but the way he was doing it told Mickey another: Ian was in a manic stage and nobody was helping him. That was how he found himself back on the streets of the Southside with an angry Russian hooker by his side. “This one,” Svetlana said as she pointed to a church on the corner. 

Both Svetlana and Mickey paused as they stared up at the banners that hung on the outside of the church. “Fucking hell, Ian,” Mickey swore as he saw the ridiculous illustrations of the ginger on banners and even t-shirts. 

“What’s the plan? Punch moron till he stop?” Svetlana asked. 

“Depends on if his little cultists swing first,” Mickey said as he scratched at his nose with his thumb before taking a deep breath. “Alright, Svet, take me to church.” 

Ian was in the middle of a sermon, sort of, when Mickey burst into the room, Svetlana following right behind him. “Alright rainbow warriors, take a fucking seat!” Mickey yelled, announcing himself. Ian stared at the man in front of him, unable to think clearly. Trevor, who had begrudgingly gone to this specific meeting was looking between the two in confusion. 

“What the shit!” Ian exclaimed, unsure of what else to say. 

“Svet, grab him,” Mickey ordered and then all five-foot-seven of pure Russian confidence was charging down the aisle towards a surprised Ian. Mickey watched as Svetlana grabbed Ian and nearly tackled him to overpower him. Ian was strong, always had been, but Svet was just as pissed at him as Mickey was.

“You idiot,” Svetlana said as she grabbed Ian by the back of his neck and took his arm, dragging him off the dais. Ian stumbled after her, still trying to get the right words out. 

“Hey! Let him go!” one of Ian’s disciples said as they moved to follow them. Svetlana pulled her knife and leveled it at the girl. Trevor stood then, ready to intervene. 

“Fucking hell, Svet! Put the damn knife away, we’re in a fucking church,” Mickey said as she lowered the blade and continued to push Ian towards the door, but Gallagher was starting to resist.

“Come, Orange Boy, we need to talk,” Svetlana said, hooking her arms around Ian’s biceps. 

“No! Ian! You can’t just take him!” Another girl said as she cried out for her "savior". 

“Ah, don’t worry your little gay heads about it, I’ll bring your pariah back in one peace,” Mickey said, flipping her off before going to follow Ian and Svetlana. 

“Who the hell are you?” a younger man said, trying to step into Mickey’s path. Mickey just grinned at him before punching him in the face. The guy fell amongst the pews and Mickey turned to the rest of the room, splaying his arms wide. 

“Just call me Gay Judas,” Mickey said with a wink.

“Mickey!” Ian screamed, causing Mickey to roll his eyes. Trevor began to move toward as Mickey’s name fell from Ian’s lips. He knew immediately that this was the Mickey and Trevor was not about to let the convict take Ian away from him. 

“Svet, get the bag!” Mickey said as he ran off after them. Trevor followed, bursting through the front doors just to see Svetlana throwing Ian into the back of an SUV with a black bag over his head. Mickey slid into the front seat and started up the engine. He gave a salute to Trevor as he hit the gas and sped off.

Ian swore from the backseat as Svetlana kept him contained, holding down his arms. “You fuckers!” Ian yelled. “Let me go! What the fuck ever happened to Mexico!” Mickey ignored him, not wanting to answer any questions just yet. Not until they were alone. Mickey didn’t have a lot of time and he needed to make the best of it before his deadline. 

They arrived at the Alibi soon after and Svetlana helped Mickey drag Ian into the basement that Kev usually used to store weed for his and Lip’s “ice cream truck”. Now it was mainly used for interrogations or in Ian and Mickey’s case, interventions. 

Svetlana and Mickey threw Ian down onto a chair and then tore the bag from his face. “Again with the fucking bag!” Ian shouted, nearly growling at Mickey. 

“Shut up, Red,” Mickey said with a warning look. Ian looked around and began to settle down as he realized where he was. Still, it didn’t comfort him to know that his ex had essentially kidnapped him.

Again.

“Thanks, Svet, I owe you,” Mickey said. Svetlana leaned over and kissed him on the cheek before sending another glare at Ian as she turned to leave. As soon as the door closed and locked behind them, Mickey walked forward and landed a punch to Ian’s jaw. 

“Fuck!” Ian yelled. 

“You’re lucky that’s all I did, you fucking idiot,” Mickey said. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ian asked. 

“I’m here, you moron, to shut this shit down,” Mickey said, grabbing at Ian’s Gay Jesus t-shirt. “Do you know how many fucking busses and trains I had to take to get back here? Fuck, Gallagher… what the fuck are you doing, man?” Mickey said, lowering his voice a bit more as Ian also began to settle. 

“I’m helping,” Ian said, still trying to grasp the fact that Mickey was in front of him, that Mickey was home. 

“Helping who, Ian? The fucking loons who want to lick your boots? What about being an EMT?” Mickey asked. 

“It wasn’t enough,” Ian argued. 

“Says who?” Mickey countered, but Ian just remained quiet. Mickey swore again, rubbing at his temples as he began to pace in front of Ian. He had planned out this whole speech he was going to say, but now he could barely get the words out. He couldn’t look at Ian without thinking about how the man had left him at the border, alone and heartbroken. However, he knew that Ian was always going to be dealing with bullshit like this. “You’re off your meds, aren’t you?” Mickey asked though he didn’t really need an answer. He knew what it looked like when Ian was manic. 

“Fuck you,” Ian said. 

“Uh, no,” Mickey said, crossing his arms. “I didn’t get back across the border for this shit or for you to be all dismissive when I ask about your fucking well-being. Nobody has fucking noticed have they?” Mickey asked, knowing damn well the Gallaghers forgot Ian existed half the time. Ian didn’t respond, but that was an answer in itself. “Fucking Gallaghers,” Mickey swore causing Ian to look at him with recognition, seeing his Mickey again was making his heart ache. “Get it together, Ian,” Mickey said. 

“Right,” Ian scoffed and Mickey began to lose it. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? And don’t give me all this 'woe is me bullshit', you’re smarter than this.” 

“These kids need my help!” 

“There are other ways to help them, Ian! Social workers, cops, hell a fucking walk-a-thon, but not this! This is unrecognizable.” 

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Ian challenged.

“That’s a bunch of bullshit and we both know it,” Mickey said. “I know you inside and out. I know your soul like the back of my fucking hand. Don’t you tell me that I don’t know you, Ian Gallagher. Don’t you say that shit to me.” Ian was quiet then, trying to keep it together. “You want to mean something? Start by setting a decent example for these kids that are following you like a bunch of gay ugly ducklings.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Ian said. 

“Stop,” Mickey said, approaching Ian. He leaned over and braced his hands on either side of the man below him, his hands digging into the armrests. “You mean something to this world, Ian, but you don’t need to go off the rails to prove it,” Mickey said with a desperate tone to his voice. 

“Why do you care?” Ian asked, staring up into Mickey’s eyes. 

“Why do I care?” Mickey echoed. “Did you forget everything that fucking happened at the border?” he asked as he pushed back from Ian. “I fucking love you, you idiot and I’m worried about you.” Ian was quiet for a moment before he finally sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“It got out of hand,” Ian admitted. 

“Yeah, no shit,” said Mickey. “Fuck, where the hell is your family?” 

“Busy,” Ian said with a shrug. That also didn’t surprise Mickey. The time Ian left to join the military, Fiona had barely looked for him. In fact, Mickey couldn’t remember anyone actively looking for Ian until the Army came looking for Lip. That had pissed off Mickey to no end, even if he never told the Gallaghers that. 

“And what about that boyfriend of yours?” Mickey asked, remembering Ian talking about his relationship when Mickey had escaped. 

“He saw me losing it,” Ian divulged with another shrug. 

“And he didn't do anything like drag your ass to the clinic?” 

“No,” Ian said. 

“Fucking hell, Gallagher, you need better friends,” Mickey said, running his hands over his face. His stubble was growing out again and he desperately needed a shave. “This shit stops now, okay?” Mickey urged and Ian nodded, trying to keep it together. Mickey kneeled in front of him and from his jacket, produced the familiar orange bottles that held Ian’s meds. “I picked these up on my way.” 

Ian stared at the pills with disdain but didn’t shove them out of Mickey’s hands to the latter’s relief. “You broke into my house…” Ian said. 

“I still have a key, moron,” Mickey said and then softer, “Come on, baby.” Ian stopped at the use of the pet name. Mickey never tended to use anything but the more insulting nicknames, but there were times when they just slipped out and the gentler side of Mickey was revealed. A side that Ian loved the most.

Ian opened his hand and Mickey doled out his dosage before grabbing a bottle of water from the storage crate and handing it to Ian. With a deep sigh, Ian took all his stabilizers and antidepressants in one go, following up with a few swigs of water. Mickey relaxed as soon as the meds were in Ian’s system, feeling exhaustion weighing on him from all the days he had spent worrying about the love of his life. “Stop trying to fuck up this life you have, Ian,” Mickey said, reaching out to hold Ian’s face in his hand. “You’re so much better than this.” Ian leaned into his palm, savoring the small moment. 

“I missed you,” Ian said, closing his eyes. 

“Missed you, too,” Mickey whispered. Leaning in, Mickey rested his forehead against Ian’s and tried not to let the tears that threatened to spill cascade down his cheek. He didn’t need to get emotional now, he didn’t have much time left. 

“You better get back to Mexico,” Ian whispered. 

“I ain’t going back,” Mickey admitted. Ian pulled back just enough to see Mickey’s face. 

“Why?” he asked. 

“I made a deal,” Mickey said with a sad smile. “I rolled on a cartel back in Mexico. Told the Feds I’d finish my sentence here as long as they gave me the afternoon to finish something up. I took down some pretty fucked up dudes so they agreed. I gotta turn myself in in about twenty minutes.” Ian seemed to deflate then as realization set in.

Mickey was going back to jail because he came to save him. Again. 

“I’m sorry, Mick,” Ian said. Mickey was shaking his head already as he ran his hands over Ian’s shoulders and up to his neck, relishing in the feel. 

“Don’t apologize,” Mickey said, “but fucking visit me this time, will you?” 

“Every week,” Ian promised without hesitation. 

“Soft,” Mickey teased, and that caused Ian to laugh finally. He then turned serious. 

“Thanks, Mick,” Ian said. "Thanks for coming to get me.”

“I always will,” Mickey promised. “Especially when you’re going all psycho-ginger on me.” Ian laughed again and then surged forward to kiss Mickey, crushing their lips together. Mickey savored every taste and feel of Ian’s lips on him, knowing it was going to be a while before they had another moment like this. He didn’t think Beckman would offer conjugal visits anytime soon. When they separated, Ian smiled again. 

“Stop kidnapping me, Milkovich,” Ian said as he kissed Mickey quickly again. 

“What can I say?” Mickey said. “I’m a whore for the dramatics, Gay Jesus.”

“Oh, shut up, you fucking convict,” Ian said as he grabbed him again.

Regardless of what the future held, they still have twenty minutes.