#who would worry his mum wouldn't love him any more

[galaxy-fleur]

I hope more dad leon questions are ok?

something something that's been on my mind, what if remake leon (after reaching early 30s ) suggest his s/o that they have a baby but she is reluctant and unsure about it?

while leon is craving for normalcy and an escape and his emotion got the better of him but she's afraid of not being able to do it or whether she'd be a good mum and the like

Hmm, I don't think that would be a big issue, honestly? If we take that you two assumedly have been together for a while now, it's not like you feeling hesitant about it would make him feel upset or angry with you. Yes, Leon wants a simpler, cozier life (if we're talking about a scenario of him actually having the opportunity to do that). He wants that with you, though. You're a team, and your thoughts and desires are not any less valuable than his own. I'd even say that he tends to neglect his needs sometimes.

So I can see this going two ways.

He either backpedals on the whole idea once he sees you're a bit uncomfortable and doesn't bring it back up for a while because he doesn't want to make you feel pressured, or... you two have a more open conversation about the whole thing. Granted, the first option will probably lead to the second one eventually, but still.

Having kids is scary and a lot of work. No matter how you have children. He wouldn't want you to go through with something so life-changing if you're not completely sure and eager. And if you're not, that's fine, too. He's willing to wait. To talk about it more, lay out your options and take it one step at a time instead of just jumping into this idea.

And if you'll never feel ready? Well, you'll just have to adopt a puppy. Or so he jokes while pressing a kiss to your forehead. Or perhaps a parrot. A big one. He heard those are technically like toddlers that never grow up. A perfect option. Plus, Sherry would love that.

Point is, he wouldn't want you to feel nervous of disappointing him or holding him back just because you're not as on board with it as he is. He wants a family with you because he loves you. He wants a future with you, whatever that may look like. If you'll want kids one day? Just know he'll be ecstatic to hear that. And if you don't? That means you two will get more time to spend together, with no distractions getting in the way. He'd be a damn fool to complain about that.

Either way, he will remind you that you are not alone in this. If you are just worried about not being a great parent, he'll reassure you that he'll be right there with you, every step of the way. Though the joys and the hurdles, the wins and losses. He wants it all, not just the good stuff. So you have nothing to worry about.

Adoption is always an option, too. If you are someone who headcanons his backstory as him losing his parents at a young age, that'll just makes the whole idea that much more heartwarming to think about.

[ghostgirl101]

Hi! I saw you did a obsessed oliver quick, would you consider doing the same for felix catton?

Dating Felix Catton Would Be Like This...

A/N: I would absolutely consider it, and here you are 😎 also if anyone has any oneshot ideas for Oliver or any of the other Saltburn guys then drop them in my inbox, I wouldn't mind writing a proper imagine scenario for them too 📩 next up is more Oliver Quick stuff anyways, so go crazy. Also, why did I find this kind of hard to write? Maybe I'm just used to Oliver's craziness and not this pretty little aristocrat's 🙃

🍾• Contrary to Oliver, Felix's type of obsession would be less murderous and delusional, more realistic, kind of vain... he's a Catton, a rich boy everyone knows and loves, who wants to be him or be with him. He's used to getting his way, learning new things about people until they get boring or get on his nerves, and then life goes on.

🍾• Not this time.

🍾• You'd meet at Oxford, either by coincidence, or by getting in with his clique of friends somehow. Chances are you helped him out on a test or covered for him in a class, and so he calls you over in recognition next time he sees you, to hang out with him and Farleigh and the rest.

🍾• There's something about you that gets the pretty aristocrat interested. Maybe it's just your charisma, your beauty, some definition that makes up you. You're different from his other friends, don't follow the crowd, have a different mind, a worldview he doesn't get. And he likes it.

🍾• So prepared to be hounded with questions over a drink at the pub after classes, all curious but friendly eyes following yours as you summarise yourself, your background, your ambitions. And what are his? Well, he lives in a beautiful estate with his high-class family, goes to Oxford because he can... I never really saw that he made any plans for himself in the film, so my guess is that he's not all that bothered about it. He's got money, he's got connections, he'll do what he wants, like always... so long as it meets the Catton expectations.

🍾• Assuming you don't have the same outrageous luxuries as Felix does, he wouldn't see the need to impress you or get your attention at first, because his status is a given around school and everyone's after him. But if you're not the same as the other girls who crowd around him when they're given a good enough chance, he'll find himself keeping on calling you over, wanting you around for your input on things they do.

🍾• Probably shows off his wealth - unknowingly or not - by buying you something for an unnecessarily high price, like a designer fountain pen when yours runs out in English, and he'll shrug and smirk softly, because it's nothing, don't worry about it.

🍾• Farleigh will undoubtedly be interested in you, but I see him warming up to you instead of being mocking and sceptical like he was with Oliver. Probably because you give off a lot better vibes than Ollie, and treat his friends like normal people, not tiptoeing and aweing of them because they're all rich and popular, but getting on as well as you can. There's something special about you that Felix saw to try pulling you into his circle, so you don't have to do anything but be yourself.

🍾• And when the summer break does come by, you're invited to Saltburn with his closest; a dazzling, rare invitation from the young Catton himself, probably away from others in a nice spot around campus. He'll give you his charming smile and warm eyes as he tells you to come along with them, that his mum will like you because you're beautiful, and that he really wants you there.

🍾• Expecting you to go all squealy and eager with a dozen yeses - if you can manage it, hold that all down to give him a nod and a shrug with a light smile as you agree calmly and casually instead, because that's a whole new response he'd never expect from any lucky person he shows an interest in. How come you're not falling all over him like the whole of Oxford does just by him being there?

🍾• You'll definitely be showered with attention at Saltburn. Elspeth will marvel over your complexion or your eyes or your hair or your outfit (or all of the above). Venetia will probably be grateful to have someone around who has a proper personality that she can talk to and will make friends with you fairly easily.

🍾• You'll catch onto Felix's jealousy over the attention you get pretty quickly, because he doesn't even try to be subtle about it. He'll just shamelessly approach you and complain in his own way that you're his guest, and he brought you here so you two could hang out. His sister's annoying, Farleigh's a troublemaker, so you should probably just stick around him, right? Makes sense, doesn't it?

🍾• Sure it does, Felix.

🍾• He's a nice guy really, kindhearted and sweet enough, but at the end of the day, the world is his to play with, and so are its people. He just needs to understand that you're not a toy... you're an individual, and so if it's going to be anything like his other "relationships" where he gets bored and leaves them to it without a second thought, you're not interested.

🍾• Which is all shock and horror for Felix Catton, because is this really what a proper relationship means? Proper thought and feeling 24/7, staying with that one person instead of having flings with whoever whenever he feels like it?

🍾• So just give him a hot minute to sulk about it over there while you have a good time with his other friends and Venetia, because the more he sees you hanging around with others and being true to yourself, adjusting to Saltburn's black-tie standards but not letting it shape or belittle you, Felix has to actually realise that he hasn't got a whole lot of depth or meaning to his life if it doesn't involve you somehow, in the closeness that he wants and needs it.

🍾• Okay. Convinced. He'll give it a shot.

🍾• I think that Felix would expect it to be difficult for him, because he's used to his carefree, no-strings-attached game of life instead of anything serious. But it'd come easier than he'd think. Other people just don't interest him as much as you, simply because they're not you. They don't have the same little... thing. Girls trip over his feet and cling to him, everyone wants to be his mate, to try to fit into his rich lifestyle, but you do it all effortlessly, and it's puzzling.

🍾• And so hot

🍾• Felix would be casual and open with PDA, since everyone will come to grips with the two of you being an item after you've been dating for over the span of a few solid days. An arm slung around your shoulder, messing with your hair with a fond, teasing look, linked fingers under the table. Nine out of ten times, he'll beat you to it and reach out to you first, because whatever he says, there's a needy boy in him somewhere 😏

🍾• This guy was a complete playboy before you, so needless to say, when you're getting real close, Felix has a pretty good grasp of what he's doing, and he'll do it right. Petnames too, of course, Surprisingly - but unsurprisingly - things like darling and beautiful, but he'd probably try to make a nickname out of your name and shorten it to give you one, finding it funny if you give him a mildly annoyed and amused look because it sounds weird.

🍾• He'll be all bright eyes and grinning proudly as he takes you to his parties, to have dinner with his parents, who get on with you wonderfully, because you're polite but not a suck-up like everyone else, and can hold a good conversation with them while looking over their shallow spins on things.

🍾• Honestly though, from what I saw of Elspeth, she made me laugh out loud a good couple of times from watching, so being friends with his mum wouldn't be a bad thing at all. And Felix would like to see you getting along with his family, because it just proves that you're a perfect fit, like he knew you were.

🍾• You'd make a friend for life in Venetia if you tried to comfort and genuinely help her with her insecurities and problems, not play her like the rest... I felt so bad for her tbh

🍾• You'll never want any material thing ever again, because his money can buy pretty much anything you want. I'm pretty sure his family would give you some kind of allowance when you're serious with Felix anyway, since they can see it in him that he's serious about you too, and the whole relationship is a great step he's made in his life. Any financial support you need, you've got it. Don't even mention liking the look of something in a shop window, because chances are you won't get the item, you'll part-own the store 😭

🍾• So, basically, you don't just get a gorgeous young aristocrat who finds every little unique, original thing about you fascinating and attractive, you get the whole of Saltburn as your second home. Just try to make friends with Duncan, and you'll probably get all the dirt on them too lmao- he'd get on better with you than he did with Oliver anyway, since he apparently was the first and only one in the household to realise that there was something off about Oliver.

🍾• Ohhh, and if we're getting to the twisted-up subject of Oliver Quick...

🍾• Let's just say that it could go two ways. Either he'll be obsessed with the both of you, and treat you the same way he treats Felix, looking up to him with intense, wide ocean green eyes, shadows after him in the hallways after dark. Or, once he's done destroying Felix... his obsessive, delusion-spiked gaze will flick straight over to you.

🍾• Either way, steer clear, that's all I can tell you.

[f1fantasys]

Always and Forever

Summary: You and Charles have a long history together. Will he finally come home to you?

A long, smutty, angsty Charles Leclerc imagine.

You had known Charles since the two of you were kids. You families we close friends, so naturally your childhood meant being around Charles a lot. From a very young age you knew you had a crush on Charles, who wouldn't? Your families had always been aware of yours' and Charles' blossoming relationship, but Charles always gently shut down the thought of you getting together, using the excuse that he was older than you (only by 2 years). You had remained close friends, and when Charles started traveling more and more due to F1, you also became close friends with his brother Arthur. Arthur had always known you craved Charles more than you let on, more than anyone else in the family. He was always the one to comfort you whenever Charles had shut you down, or whenever you saw a new girl on Charles' arms in every country he visited.

When you were 22, and Charles was 24, thriving in his career, things changed between the 2 of you.

The Leclerc family had invited you and yours to their house for the annual Christmas dinner. It was a lavish dinner with the fanciest foods and the most expensive wines. You made sure to dress as sexy as you could, hoping to make an impression on the one you love. Yes, you can easily say you are in love with Charles. You opted for a satin white dress that hugged all your curves in the right places. Your heels were a high as the sky. Your hair was curled and pinned in a way that made you look stunning and your makeup was simple yet beautiful. You know you looked like a million bucks. To give you a boost of confidence, you decided to forego any panties or a bra. You boobs held the dress perfectly, and you couldn't wait to see Charles' reaction. You were no more the young Y/N, too young for him. You were now a beautiful woman, ready to take her step into the world.

As you entered the Leclerc residence in the heart of Monaco, your eyes quickly searched for him. You hadn't seen him for 6 months, him busy with F1, and you had started a new internship that was in Nice.

You heard him before you saw him, but before you could react and even look around for him, someone pulled you and whisked you away to a quiet place.

'Arthur, what are you doing' you whispered.

Arthur looked at you with sad eyes, he looked scared to even say anything.

After a few seconds of raising your brows at him, he finally started -

'Y/N, maybe we should just ditch the party and go out somewhere. We can have a nice dinner and then hit up a club with some friends.'

Confused, you questioned him again. 'why would we do that? Your parents are throwing an amazing party so why would we just up and leave to go someplace else?'

'It's...it's..-' he stammered. 'Charles. He's here with a girl. Alex.'

Your heart started to heat faster. You didn't know what to make of that. You certainly weren't prepared to see another girl on Charles' arms tonight. Not when you haven't even spoken to him for a few months, and not when you made an effort to get noticed by him, only for him not even give you a second glace.

'That doesn't mean its ok for us to leave the party. Your mum would be very upset with us' you said.

Arthur continued to look at you with a worried face.

'I'll be okay' you lied.

He simply nodded his head and took your hand, leading you back to the living room where everyone was mingling.

As soon as you entered the room you eyes found his. He flashed you his signature smile, dimples showing, eyes crinkling. You felt your heart start to beat faster. Maybe you should have taken Arthur's offer to leave. You felt him squeeze you hand, to let you know he was there for you. And you were grateful for that.

Charles and who you assumed to be Alex, made their way over to where you were standing. 'Y/N' Charles sweetly said, kissing both your cheeks and pulling you into a hug. Your body felt frozen, out of place. This was your Charles, your friend first and foremost, yet you felt like you were meeting him for the first time. 'Charles, how are you?' you managed to smile. 'All well. Oh, this is Alex by the way' he said, looking at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the room. He wasn't wrong. She was beautiful. So beautiful in fact. Her slim figure wore a lovely dress and her long hair looked so soft. You managed another smile. 'It's lovely to meet you.' Charles turned to you 'and this is Y/N, one of my first best friends.' Alex kissed both your cheeks in greeting.

You spent the rest of of the evening mingling with different people. Family members of the Leclercs, friends, when finally Joris, a very good friend of both you and Charles found his way to you. 'All okay?' He asked.

'Yep, all good. Actually getting a bit tired. I have an early drive back to Nice tomorrow to fetch some of my stuff. My internship is over so I'll be back in Monaco for a while'

'That's great. It will be nice to have to back. I miss our catchups' he smiled.

Hearing him say that made you think of the memories you had growing up alongside him and Charles. You always had the best time with them. Only now you couldn't imagine making yourself available to tag alone with them, especially with Alex at Charles' side.

'I need some air,' you croaked out and walked away.

You made your way to the back garden, desperate for some fresh air to breathe. It felt like you were holding your breath the whole evening.

As soon as you stepped outside you immediately regretted it. There was Charles. With this tongue down Alexs' throat. Hand up her dress. You wanted to be sick. This was one thing you could have gone without seeing tonight. It all happened in a matter of seconds. You hoped they didn't hear your heals clanking on the bricks. But they did. Charles' eyes immediately widened at seeing you.

'Y/N' he smiled and let go of Alex. ' I was hoping we could spend some time together. I'd love for you Alex to get to know each other better.'

What was he playing at? He knew you had a 'crush' on him, so why the fuck would he want you and his girlfriend to be friends.

'Oh, sorry for interrupting, I was just one my way out' you muttered, hoping he would shut up and leave you. You started making a beeline for your car, when he ran after you.

'Y/N what is this. You hardly talk to me for months, you somewhat ignore me all evening, and then you don't even attempt to get to know Alex better.'

By now you were fuming. You were hurt for sure, but angry.

'I have a busy life too, you know. You're busy traveling around the world, but I'm not sat here waiting to message or call you every second of the day. You could have tried to contact me too. But it all makes sense now. Alex is keeping you even busier that you can't even check up on a friend or congratulate her for graduating and getting an internship.'

'Oh yeah, it all comes down to Alex.' He scoffed. What? That was what he took away from your whole rant?

'Why can't you just be happy for me that I found someone and I'm in love?'

You felt tears start to sting you eyes.

He continued 'At least i can keep a partner and not have them cheat on me'

That was a dagger to you heart. He knew how broken you were when your ex cheated on you, then broke up with you, as if you had done something wrong. Arthur was away at the time, so it was Charles who comforted you. To have him throw those words to you, you didn't know who he was anymore.

'I need to go' you whispered as you walked past him to your car and drove off.

It was so surprise that you struggled to sleep that night. Arthur had texted, asking where you disappeared to. You told him you wanted to get enough sleep before your drive to Nice tomorrow.

You thought back at the night. It definitely didn't go the way you thought it would. But more so you were disappointed in the way Charles was towards you. Where was the boy who made you laugh, who showed you an endless amount of respect, who gave you flutters of hope every time he smiled at you. Today he only broke your little heart.

As you were deep in thought, your phone lit up and the noise of a new message. Your heart skipped a beat at the name that popped up

'CLC'

'Y/N, i apologize for my behavior tonight. You did not deserve all those things I said to you. I hope you find it in you to forgive me.'

Just as you finished reading that text, another one popped up:

'And i wish I told you in person - you looked absolutely beautiful tonight....goodnight..x'

You heart skipped a heat at reading that and you couldn't help but smile to yourself.

'Thank you, Charles. Goodnight' was all you said back to him.

A few months had passed since that night. Charles was back to his traveling, and you'd exchanged a few texts here and there, and even Face-timed once after he won a race.

One Friday night in, alone at your house in Monaco, when your phone rang with an unknown caller ID.

'Hello?'

'Y/N.' You would recognize that voice anywhere

'Charles' you smiled. 'Are you ok? Why didn't you call me from your number?'

'I uh..forgot my phone at home. Yours was the only number i remembered. I'm out at a nightclub..I wondered if you are able to come and fetch me? I really need to talk to you.'

'Of course I'll come fetch you, but is everything ok?' you panicked. But secretly felt happy that he only remembered your number.

'Everything will be better when you're here' he said into the phone.

Not 15 minutes later and you were pulling into the nightclub he was at. You saw him sitting at the curb, surprised he wasn't with any friends or anyone. As you parked, you got out the car and made your way to him.

'Charles are you ok? Why are you sitting here alone? Have you been drinking?'

He smiled 'very little, can i drive?' he stood up and took the car keys from your hand. You followed him and sat in the passengers seat.

He started the car and backed out onto the street, you noticed he was going in the direction of his house.

The car ride was silent, until you started 'Hey, what's going on?'

He looked at you. His eyes bore into yours.

'Alex and I broke up'

Oh. Oh you weren't expecting that.

'Oh, im so sorry to hear that, Charles.' To be honest, you weren't sorry.

'I'm not' he said.

You didn't really know what to say back. It was silent for few more minutes until he started again:

'Breaking up with her made me realize something'

You looked to him, waiting for him to continue.

'It's you'

Wait what? What did he just say? What's 'you'?

'Y/N, I'm sorry. I've dragged you along for too long. Given you hope. False hope. Even though I was lying to myself. I've always had feelings for you. You're always going to be my annoying little best friend, but I couldn't help falling for you.'

I'm sorry, are you hearing this right? Charles is telling you he...likes you? What? You had no words, you weren't sure if you could even voice a word right now. So you stayed silent.

He parked the car at his apartment basement and turned his body towards you.

'I know this is a lot to take in right now. But i needed you to know. I've wanted to tell you since last summer, but never had the guts to. Too scared to hear you tell me you've moved on from me. But i cant hold it in anymore. I really really like you Y/N.'

You were shocked. All you could do was smile but then a doubt crept into your mind.

'if you've felt like this since summer, why did you start dating Alex for the most part of the year?' you asked. It just wasn't adding up for you.

He sighed. 'I started dating her to try and forget about you. I couldn't bring myself to tell you how i feel and be shut down by you, so i thought finding someone else was the solution. I tried to distance myself from you.'

You didn't know what to say. Charles took you hand and kissed your knuckles.

'I still want to be with you Charles. I don't think there will be a time where i don't want to be with you.' you smiled at him.

The pair of you quickly made your way to the elevator to get up to the apartment. Everything was happening quickly. Too quickly even. But you both were so caught up with everything that was said.

The two of you stepped into the elevator. Standing close together, but before the door could even close, Charles had pushed you against the wall. His lips ghosting over yours.

'Can I?' he asked.

You couldn't form a coherent thought or word to say. You simply nodded.

His lips crashed into yours. They were soft and plump, and tasted even more delicious than you ever imagined them to be. (and yes, you imagined what they would taste like....a lot). You both smiled into the kiss. It very quickly got heated. The both of you battling for dominance. In the end, Charles won, as you opened up your mouth to him. You felt him suck on your bottom lip, before his tongue slid into your mouth, and explored you as if there was gold to find. Eventually he pulled back when the elevator dinged. You smiled at each other and walked rather quickly to his door.

As soon as the door was shut behind you, Charles scooped you up and carried you to his bedroom. He lowered you to his bed and began peeling his shirt off. All you could do was stare. Sure you had seem him shirtless before, but this was a whole new ballgame. Charles was looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. But he also wore a smirk, that had you wrapped around his little finger.

You took that as a new found confidence, and slowly shimmied out of your dress, completely forgetting you were alone at home before he called, and you weren't wearing any underwear.

Charles' eyes widened and you gasped, but quickly his eyes darkened, and all you could see was lust. Lust for you.

He pulled you flush against himself 'so fucking beautiful, i don't know why i waited this long to see you like this'

You felt a blush creep up your cheeks at his words. The two of you started kissing again. A dirty, sloppy kiss with teeth and tongues clashing. He moved down to your neck and very quickly found your sweet spot. That earned him the sexiest moan from you. 'Fuck' he muttered. He gently laid you down on his mattress and opened your legs up. You should have felt conscious, him staring into your most private parts, but you didn't. If anything, you felted so turned on. You'd dreamt about moments like this. To have your Charles look at your like this.

He started kissing a path up your thighs. Too slow for your liking. He was teasing you, and you both knew it. You moaned 'Charles please' and he smirked. He very quickly realized he would never tire of hearing you beg for him.

Suddenly without warning, his tongue licked a strip up your cunt. You were speechless, you couldn't even breathe properly. In no time he found your clit, sucking and pulling at it with this mouth, earning more and more moans from you. This is what you call eating your girl out. He was a professional. If it were an Olympic sport, he would win gold. Double gold even. The feeling was incredible. The noises in the room were obscene. All it took was a few minutes until you came crashing down. Charles made sure to lick up all of your warm juices, leaving nothing behind.

'So delicious Mon amour'

The nickname made your heart flutter. You grabbed his hair gentle and bought his face up to yours to kiss him. You could still taste your saltiness in his mouth. While kissing, you felt his fingers find your pussy. He slowly started rubbing circles on your clit. He kept getting close to your entrance, then moved his fingers further away. You gave him a groan 'Charles' you said breathlessly. ''What do you want Y/N.' He was smirking again.

He continued his movements, but still didn't give you what you wanted. You continued to groan, getting so worked up. 'You need to tell me what you want Y/N' Fuck this man is going to be the end of you, and is he really making you beg after making you wait practically your whole life for this day?

'Finger Charles, use your fingers, fuck'

And without a second thought the thrust two fingers at once. You both moaned in unison. You at the incredible feeling of his fingers hitting the right spots, him at the how tight you were.

You came a second and third time. Breathless, yet still needing more. You needed to feel him. In your mouth and in your cunt.

You slowly pushed him onto his back and climbed onto of him.

He took your boobs into his hands and started massaging them and pinching your pebbled nipples. 'Fuck Charles' you said as you felt him bring his lips closer and quickly take your one nipple into his mouth while he still played with the other. Once he had enough time with your boobs, you shimmied you way down his body and peeled off his jeans and boxers. His cock sprang free, smacking his stomach. He looked so painfully hard. But oh so beautiful.

'My turn to taste you' you cooed. Charles flashes you his signature smile with his dimples. 'You don't have to-' 'I want to' you interrupted him.

You took him in your hands. No surprise he was thick. And long. And there was a vein at the side that made everything that much hotter. What Charles did next sent a jolt of electricity to your core. He bent forward and let his spit dangle from his mouth down to his dick. If you weren't horny before, you definitely were now. You'd never seen anything hotter in your 24 and a half years on earth. 'Fuck me' you muttered. 'Well, that is the plan' he replied.

You lowered you mouth to take his cock inside it. Obviously, you couldn't fit all of him in, so your hand took care of the rest. You slowly licked a stripe up his shaft and suck the tip of him into your mouth. His pre-cum was already so delicious, you couldn't wait to get more.

'Hmm' you looked up to see his eyes roll to the back of his head, as he pulled your hair out of your face and held it behind your head.

'Fuck Y/N, you take me so well. You're fucking amazing at this' he muttered as you started to bob your head up and down, gagging slightly as you felt him reach the back of your throat.

'Fuck, im close Y/N'

'Come for me Charles, let go for me' and with that you tasted him. Salty and warm, and oh so delicious.

He bought you up to sit on his lap again, kissing you again for what felt like hours. Until he heard his phone ringing. Whining, you climbed off him so he could take the call. It was Arthur, you heard him speak in french 'Charles? Do you know where Y/N is? I've tried calling and texting her but she's not answering.' 'Charles had to keep a giggle in. I saw her at the club earlier, she said she was spending the night at her friends.' They're probably already sleeping, they got quite drunk' he said while sending you a wink. 'Ah okay' said Arthur, 'I wanted to invite her for Charlottes' birthday lunch tomorrow, you're coming right? It will just be the 4 of us and Enzo.' Yes, we''l be there...I mean..I'll be there' Charles said holding in a laugh. 'Great, see you tomorrow' Arthur said as he ended the call.

'How am i going to be in the same room as you and keep my hands to myself?' Charles said quickly. You could only laugh as he pulled you back into his lap, resuming his activities of kissing you as deep as he could.

You started to grind on him, and when you heard a string of french words leave him mouth, you finally, finally lifted yourself up and sank down on him. It felt like you were made for each other. He filled you so perfectly. You mind went blank, all you could think about was your Charles, finally coming home to you. He started meeting you halfway, lifting himself up and thrusting into you, as hard as he could. The room was filled more obscene noises, pants, breath, moans and swear words from the both of you. 'M close, Charles' you managed to say.

He quickly found your clit with his fingers and within seconds you came for a 4th time in one night. Your bundle of nerves were so sensitive, but you still couldn't get enough of him.

He slid out of you and switched positions. This time you were on all fours, and he slammed into you with no warning. 'Fuck, so tight, so fucking tight me ma belle' he panted.

'Charles, i'm close' you muttered, surprised your 5th orgasm was rolling around so quickly.

'Wait for me cherie' he said as he fucked harder and harder into you. By know you legs were shaking, and he had to hold you upright to balance you. You could feel his hot breath on your neck and in unison, you both came undone.

You both stayed in that position for a while, catching your breaths, until he slowly slid out of you causing the two of you to let out a groan. He quickly ran to his bathroom and came back with a warm cloth and wiped you down, leaving you feather kisses all over.

When he returned again, he climbed into the bed beside you can pulled you to his side. 'I know everything is happening rather quickly, but Y/N i want you to know i am serious about you. I've known you for a very long time and every single part of your being, inside and out, is incredible. I love you.'

You eyes started tearing up upon hearing that. You've wanted to hear those words since you found out what a 'crush' is or what 'feelings' are. You snuggled closer to him and kissed his nose. 'I love you too Charlie.' You fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning you woke up slightly confused with where you were. Until the memories came crashing down. You tried to hide your smile before turning around in the strong arms that were around you. He was still asleep, slightly snoring. He looked as beautiful as ever, and you couldn’t believe he was yours. You took in his appearance. He had a soft smile, dimples peaking out, a good tan and the hottest jawline ever. You quickly pecked his nose as he started shuffling. His eyes flew open and within a second those dimples came to life. He gave you the biggest boyish grin and pulled you impossibly closer.

‘Good morning mom amour’ he whispered.

‘Good morning my love’

‘We’ve got lunch with the family today, care to join?’ He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

You threw him a genuine smile, secretly hoping more days like this would come.

Instead of saying anything, you kissed him. Hard and deep, and he kissed you back. He rolled onto you and removed your (his) tshirt.

Charles started meddling with your boobs, pinching your nipples and earning a moan from you.

‘I’ll never get tired of hearing that my love. It’s so fucking sexy’

To hear him say than in his raspy morning voice turned you on even more. Yes, you definitely were sensitive from last night, but you craved so much more.

Before you could continue, an idea popped into Charles’ head. He suddenly stopped his movements and swiftly removed himself from on top of you, got up and walked to the bathroom, stripping his boxers on the way. Shocked, you looked on. What is he doing you thought. He popped his head out a few seconds later.

‘Coming? Or non’.

You’ve never got out of bed faster than right now.

He had the shower turned on and once the water was nice and hot, you both stepped in. He started to shampoo your silky hair, massaging you, earning moans from you. You did the same to him in return. Suddenly your back hit the cold tiles and Charles knelt down in front of you, opening your legs. You held onto his hair, knowing what was coming. Only it wasn’t what you expected. You thought his mouth would be on you. But he angled the shower head to your most sensitive parts. You gasped as you felt the water spray on your clit. Charles gave you his signature smirk before adding his tongue, AND FINGERS to the mix.

You mind could form no coherent thoughts. You could barely hold your body up. Luckily Charles and his strong arms held you in place. He soon placed the shower head back in place and added two more fingers to you.

‘Y/N you look so fucking hot right now. Definitely a sight for sore eyes’

All you could do was nod.

As Charles felt you getting close, he stood up and replaced his fingers with his painfully hard cock. The stretch was a bit of a sting at first, but when he started pumping in and out of you, the pleasure made it all worth it. He was fucking into you harder than you’d ever had it before.

‘Fuck, Charles’ was all you could say. ‘Fuck fuck fuck’

He smiled, ‘I am fucking you mon amour. You’re taking me so well. So tight and needy for my thick dick’ he muttered, almost to himself.

Within minutes your legs were shaking and your warm cum released from you. You wanted to taste him again, so as soon as you knew he was close, you made him slide out of you and you got on your knees. Taking him as deep into your mouth as you could. Pumping what you couldn’t fit with your hands, and massaging his balls. No sooner than I minute later you could taste his deliciousness and he moaned and praised you for your activities.

You stood up and kissed him again. You could kiss him forever, as you felt his hands massaging your ass.

‘Charles I really am sore now, no more sex for a loooong while’ you said.

He laughed ‘as if. Let’s see who breaks first’

‘Is that a challenge? Let’s see who can’t keep their hands off the other at lunch later’ you wiggled your eyebrows at him.

‘Deal' he said with a smirk.

You needed to go home to change since it was already 11.30 and the lunch was for 12.15. You'd decided with Charles that he would drive the pair of you to the lunch. And if anyone raises eyebrows at the fact you came together, he would say you talked about it at the club last night.

You opted for mini summer dress that ended just above your knees, and paired it with a pair of wedges. Charles wore a simple white cotton button up and some shorts - it was just a casual lunch, nothing fancy.

As he parked the car at the restaurant, he turned to you and stopped your movements of getting out of the car. The next thing you felt were his lips on yours surely leaving a bruise. It was hard and rough, his tongue exploring your mouth once again.

Breathlessly, you both pulled away, smiling at each other.

'Just needed something to keep me going through lunch, since i can't even touch you, and until i get you back home to ruin you all over again' he said.

You felt your cheeks get red and you heart beat faster. Not knowing what you say, you smiled and sent him a wink, before climbing out of his pista.

Walking up to the table, everyone's eyes was on the two of you.

'Did you guys come together?' Lorezno asked.

'Yep,' you said, looking at Charles who had his shades on, the sneaky bugger.

'We saw each other at the club last night and decided to come together' he said back.

'Okay, Y/N, where have you been? You hair looks like its just been through a room full of fans' Arthur said, showing you a smirk. He knew something fishy was going on.

'Oh i had the window down in the pista, thats it' you said back.

Of course the only two chairs that were left were next to eachother, which meant the lunch would be 10x more difficult for you to keep your hands away from him.

'Happy Birthday Charlotte', you said kissing her cheeks and gifting her a stunning bouquet of flowers. 'I hope Enzo is spoiling you today,' you said sending a wink to Enzo.

So far the lunch was going well. Everyone was in conversation with each other and it was nice to catch up with Charlotte after a long time. The food and drinks were flowing nicely.

Nicely, until you felt somebody's hand creep up your legs, almost touching your most sensitive parts. You jumped in surprise, and started coughing, having to blame your wine go down the wrong hole. As you settled down again, it came back. This time you had to keep your blush at bay, and you sent Charles a pleading look. All he did was smirk at you, before removing his hand.

Two can play at the game you thought, as you sneakily bought you hand to rest on his bulge, feeling his dick grow hard as rock under your touch. He could barely even concentrate on what Arthur was saying, let alone engage in the conversation.

When he was sure no one was looking, he bought his lips to your ear and said 'behave, mon amour, or you'll be sorry later'

Just the thought of later caused you to squeeze your thighs shut together to release the ache between them.

'We're thinking of taking the yacht out after lunch, to watch the sunset. Care to join?' Enzo said looking at you and Charles.

You wanted to say no. To say you had someplace else to be. But they would surely notice Charles missing as well.

'Of course' you replied, while Charles gave you an annoyed look.

Some time later, all of you were out on the yacht. It was a beautiful day to be out on the waters, and you were glad you decided to come. Although you also wish you were tucked away in yours' or Charles' apartment with him inside you. Thinking about that only turned you on, and for the past 30 minutes you were having difficulty focusing on anything other than Charles and his fingers and his tongue and his dick.

A few more friends had joined your group, and Charles was currently sitting opposite you, sending what you could only describe as heart eyes in you direction. You tried to tell him to stop, but he wouldn't.

The sun was set and the sky was getting darker. Some were in the water enjoying the coolness of the water while others were just lounging around.

You decided you need some air, so you went to the other side of the boat and climbed to the bottom of the steps where the boat met the water, and dunked your feet in. It was nice and relaxing, until someone decided to join you.

'Having fun? Or would you rather be fucking' he smirked at you.

'Oh my god Charles' you whispered. 'You cant say things like that out loud. And get away from here. Its hard not being able to jump you as it is'

'Relax, amour. Everyone is in the water on the other side of the boat' he said as he slowly got into the water himself, and settled between you legs.

The last 24 hours had honestly been a dream Everything you've ever wanted had come true and you couldn't be happier.

'Are you ok, love?' Charles asked as he caught you deep in thought.

All you could do was smile and lean forward, bringing your lips to his.

It was a gentle kiss. Not heated like before. Just a gentle embrace between two people who love each other.

'i love you'' he whispered

'I love you too, my Charlie'

Things quickly took a turn as he started to slide your bikini bottoms down from under your dress.

Before you could process what was happening or worry about the others, you felt Charles gently push into you. To say the feeling was incredible was an understand.

'Fuck, mon cherie' he whispered. 'You feel so good' he said as he started to set a faster pace. You braced yourself, holding onto his shoulders, playing with his hair, moaning into his ear. Trying to be as quiet as you could.

Nothing was gentle anymore. Charles was slamming into you. Fucking into your cunt. Hitting all the right places.

'Charles' you moaned. 'I'm close'. 'Let go princess, but be quiet, unless you want the others to find me fucking you here' he whispered, smiling at you.

'Fuck' was all you could say. You were incredibly sore but you couldn't get enough at the same time.

Within minutes you reached your peak. It was so intense that you couldn't hold yourself together. Charles literally had to carry you into the water, to support you, as well as chase his own high.

'Merde' he gasped as you finally felt him splutter into you.

'You are so amazing, I cant get enough of you' he whispered as he peppered your face in open-mouthed kisses.

You could hear some voices getting closer to where the two of you were, so you quickly separated yourself from Charles and sat back on the step.

'Oooooh, whats going on here?' Arthur and Charlotte said as the approached you and Charles.

'Nothing, just chilling' you said, although your feet were inside of Charles shorts, playing with his willy, but the others' couldn't see that

Arthur gave you raised eyebrows. 'ooookay, well we are heading back now, just wanted to let you know. As he turned on his heel and pulled a confused Charlotte behind him.

'He so knows we're fucking. He knows me too well. And he knows you' you told Charles as he started getting out of the water.

He suddenly gave you a shocked look.

'What?' you almost jumped up because of the way he was looking at you.

'I took your bikini bottoms off of you and i think i let them go in the water' he said, barely holding in his laughter.

'Oh my god Charles, im wearing an almost see-through dress, and that was my favorite bikini' you said pouting.

'I'll buy you a new one amour. and wrap my towel around you. Whatever is under that dress is only to be seen by me, no one else' he said as he helped you on your feet and guided you back towards where the others were.

'Need a ride home?' Arthur asked you quietly. You felt your cheeks heating up. How could you say no without giving away the fact that your were fucking his brother?

'Um-' you started, but Charles quickly interrupted you.

'Y/N, do you still need me to take a look at the thing wrong with your car?'

Life saver.

'Yes please, if you don't mind.'

You looked at Arthur. All he did was smile and mutter 'okay'

'Thanks for the save''' you giggled to Charles as you both got settled in his pista again.

'No problem, babes'

You made a face. You weren't used to being called babes, or babe, especially by Charles, so to hear him say that made you wet. So wet. As if you've had a dry spell for the last 24 hours.

There was a sudden shift in the mood on the way back to your apartment.

'What's got you thinking so hard' you asked as you observed Charles.

He smiled a gentle smile. 'I know everything is happening really quickly, and I wouldn't change it for the world.. But i've realised i dont want to be away from you. At all times. I know that sounds crazy, because i travel so much, and although i would love for you to join me at every race, I can't expect you to leave home and work all the time. Don't get me wrong, i would gladly have you with me 24/7 if it’s something you wanted’ he paused. You waited for him to continue.

He looked at your with eyes that held so much love ‘join me for the triple header.’

You kept silent, rewarding him with a smile.

‘We just got together, and I don’t think I can go 3 whole weeks without seeing you’ he whispered.

‘Charles, I’d love to’ you gushed. Leaning forward and pecking his cheek as he showed you a full dimpled smile.

‘Mom amour’ he said softly, almost to himself.

Two days later (and A LOT of sex later) you and Charles were on a private plane to Austin. Arthur had joined you as well. You nor Charles had told him anything, just the shit-eating grin he had told you both that he knew everything.

As Charles had drifted off to sleep on the long flight, Arthur came to sit next to you.

‘Y/N, I am so happy that you finally got what you wanted. I don’t know how it happened’ he made a face ‘nor do I want to know’ he winked ‘but I’m happy. For the both of you.’ He spoke in French.

‘Thank you Arthur, and thank you for always standing by me. I appreciate you’ you said as your hugged him.

You’d arrived in Austin the day before media activities were to take place. Charles told you he wanted to take you out for an ‘Official first date’ in his words.

He wouldn’t tell you where he was talking you - all he said was ‘dress smart, as you always do’.

This time, you opted for a midi black dress that had a sexy slit on the side. You paired it with a stunning pair of black heels and decided on an up-do for your hair.

As Charles waited for you in the living room of your suite, he nearly choked on his breathe upon seeing you.

‘You know, maybe we should skip dinner. Just go straight to dessert’ he cussed in French as he approached you.

‘Charles! No. I’m very hungry and you owe me a ‘date’’ you told him.

‘Fine, but I might get arrested for public indecency’ he scoffed behind you as your closed your hotel door.

Of course, he rented a Ferrari for your time in Austin. As you settled in the car, his left hand graced your thigh the whole way to the restaurant. He tried, but failed, to get his fingers to enter your lacy panties.

Dinner was amazing. He really picked well. You chatted about everything and nothing at the same time.

Just as your were finishing actual dessert, an idea popped into your head. You excused yourself to go to the bathroom.

You don’t know where the confidence came from, you quickly removed your panties and scrunched them up in your hand. You topped up on your lipstick, and walked back to Charles with some swagger. He smiled as he saw you approach him. You held out your hand as he opened his to take what you were giving him.

When he checked what you gave him, his eyes widened in surprise.

‘Merde’ he muttered. You quickly noticed he was very ansty from then on. Mission accomplished, you thought to yourself.

Needless to say, Charles couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel. He fucked you in the car. Or rather- he made you ride him. It’s safe to say it was the hottest sex the two of you had had til today. The way his dick filled you up was no joke, especially with the limited space to move around. You were flush against him. Your nipple was in his mouth. His fingers were playing your clit. You were pulling his hair, surely leaving marks on his neck. It was hot. You moaned in unison as you came while he still slammed his thick cock into you. A few seconds later ‘fuck Y/N I’m cuming’

You stayed in your positions as you both caught your breathe. Gently kissing each other. Just as your lifted yourself up to let Charles pull out, he ordered you to open your mouth.

‘Open your pretty mouth Cherie’ he whispered. But not softly. It was harsh. You did as you were told, as Charles let his spit dangle from his mouth down into yours. The things this man comes up with. He is incredible.

Back at the hotel, you came a second, third and fourth time. This time though, not only from his cock, but from his tongue, fingers and wait for it-the shower head combo again.

Austin was an amazing race for Charles, and so was Mexico. It all came down to Brazil.

As you entered the paddock with Charles (not as a couple, yet) you couldn’t help but feel excited.

That quickly changed as you both entered the Ferrari garage and saw a familiar face. One you hoped you wouldn’t see so soon. You froze next to Charles, as you felt his face keep switching between you and the woman before you. She came up to you both and hugged him. But what caused you to shiver was the way her fingers ruffled through his hair. And he let her. You just looked at he both of them. It was like he forgot you were right beside him or something.

‘Y/N’ he started but before he could continue, you walked away. You needed some air. What is his ex doing here. Why did he let her touch him like that.

You walked through the paddock until you found a secluded area that hardly had any people. You sat down and tried to calm your breathing.

Maybe you read the whole situation. Maybe he was playing a game with you. But at the same time, he told you he loved you.

You stayed away for the remainder of the day. Charles and Arthur had called you multiple times but you told them you just need space as you returned to the hotel.

Quality was a disaster for Charles. He was started P10 for the race. You didn’t want to add to his problems because you knew he would be beating himself up for doing so bad, but at the same time your life and relationship was no joke.

He walked into your room around 7pm to find you sitting on the couch staring at the tv. He could tell you had being crying.

‘Y/N, please let me explain. What you saw was nothing. I don’t even know why or how she even was there. I guess I didn’t pull away because I was just as shocked as you were. But please believe me there is absolutely nothing going on between us. The last time I spoke to her was two weeks before we got together. I love you and only you. No-one can tell you otherwise’ he said as he sat next to you and took your hand into his.

You felt him wipe away a few tears you didn’t know were even falling.

He took your face in your hands and gentle caressed it.

‘I’m sorry if I over-reacted, but it was so hard to see the two of your together again. You sobbed into him and he hugged you.

‘And I’m sorry I caused you more stress, for not doing well in quail’

‘Whatever’ he said. ‘You will always be first’ he kissed your forehead.

Tonight was the first night since you got together that you hadn’t had some sexual activities with Charles. You just cuddled and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The next few weeks went in a blur. Things were good with Charles, and before you knew it, it was time for the Leclerc's annual Christmas party again.

As you walked into their house hand in hand, you couldn't help but think back to a year ago. You were still pining over Charles, and he was pining over someone else. But that was then. This time, you were still pining for him, but he was yours, and finally, he was actually pining for you.

He took you up to his childhood bedroom before attacking your lips with his.

'Char,' you tried to say but he quickly swallowed your words by sticking his tongue down your throat.

'Shhhh, lets just be in the moment,' he said as he started to unzip your dress from the back.

You shimmied out of it while he got rid of his own clothes. He was not surprised to find out without any underwear.

'My girl' he smiled as he carried you to his bed and gently laid you down.

He opened your legs to find you like Niagra Falls. Juices already spilling out of you.

Confused, he looked at you.

'Are you already this wet, for me?'

'I'm always wet for you Char, you just found out sooner rather than later tonight'

He flashed you his dimpled-smile.

'I love you, and your juice, baby'

You didn't have time to say it back. He attacked your pussy with his lips. Licking and sucking, eventually sinking two fingers.

'Oh Charles, yes' you panted as you grabbed onto his bed sheets , trying to suppress your moans so no-one would hear what the two of you were up to. He continued his slaughter until you were practically shaking and whimpering underneath him.

'Fuck me' was all you could say as he bought his lips up to yours, pulling you in for a messy kiss. Cum and spit certainty ruining your makeup.

'That's the plan, amour' he said as you rolled him over so now your ass was sitting his obnoxiously large dick. You made out with him some more until you couldn't take it anymore. You needed to feel him in you.

You didn't even take off his pants or boxers properly - you practically pulled his dick out and wasting to time, you sank down on him.

Groaning in unison, Charles sat up and moved the two of you to the end of the bed. His mouth latched onto your boobs while he met up halfway to fuck into you. Once again, the room was filled with obscene sounds - bodies slamming into each other. Juices squeezes between the two of you, Charles' mouth sucking on your nipples, you panting and trying to catch a breath, moaning, and a splutter of french curses leaving his mouth.

Just as you were reaching you high, both your bodies' froze.

''Charles,' his mother knocked on his door. 'Are you inside?' she asked.

As much as you wanted , no needed, to moan, you couldn't hold back a giggle into Charles' neck.

'Yes maman, I'll be down just now' he tried, hoping she would leave.

But of course, she didn't.

'I really need to talk to you, I'm coming in' he said, oblivious to the fact that her son was fucking into his childhood friend-now girlfriend- like there was no tomorrow.

'NO! maman' but it was too late.

She walked in, to find you sat on her childs' lap, boobs in his face, while Charles looked at her with wide eyes. You, you couldn't find the courage to look back at her, so you simply hid your face in Charles' neck.

The room was silent for two seconds until Pascale finally came to terms to what she walked in on'.

'Oh my god, Charles, OH MY GOD Ý/N' she shut her eyes. 'I didn't see anything, I didn't see anything' she all but screamed, while Charles was still in pure shock, neither of you comprehending what was happening.

'Oh wow, I've waited for this day for so long. Oh no, not like that. I mean I've waited for the two of you to FINALLY accept your love for one another.' You and Charles both stayed silent. What is happening right now?

'When neither of you said anything, again, Pascale whispered, rather loudly, ' You know I think I'm gonna go now. I'll leave you two. But please don'' be long, we've got a dinner to host.' and with that she closed the door.

'Fuck me'

'I....wow. I have no words' he stared at you, heart still racing from getting caught.

You laughed into his shoulder.

Slowly, he started a good rhythm again.

'Fuck, Y/N, you don't know what you do to me' he said through gritted teeth, still making you bounce up and done his shaft.

'Char I'm close, please' you moaned into his ear as his thumb found your clit and started rubbing circles and within seconds you came undone, walls clenching around his dick.

'Merde' he all but shouted as he felt himself spill into you, both your bodies shaking from the high.

You slowly felt your movements come to a halt. Content to just give yourselves a few minutes to come back to earth.

Little giggles filled the air as you both recounted the events of the last 20 or so minutes.

'I don't know how I'm gonna look at your mum again' you shyly told Charles.

'I don't know how the fuck I'm going to. I really hope she hasn't told anyone what she walked in on. We'd never hear the end of it' he said giggling back to you.

You quickly cleaned yourselves up and made yourselves look presentable again.

Hand in hand you walked back downstairs, just in time for the arrival of the other dinner guests. You parents included.

Pascale just smiled at you and Charles whenever she made eye contact with the two of you.

The evening was filled with good food, good wine, dancing and a lot of curious eyes.

As the night was coming to an end, you and Charles bid farewell to everyone and drove off in his pista.

'Well that was an eventful evening' you cooed to him.

The roads were quiet at this time of the night-or early morning. He stopped at the side of the road and got out of the car.

He walked around your side and helped you out the pista. You took a short walk to the edge of the hill, and overlooked Monaco-how beautiful she looked all lit up.

'It's beautiful' you whispered, more to yourself, as Charles wrapped his arms around you from behind.

'It is, not more beautiful than you though, mon amour' he said as he kissed your cheek.

You smiled as you held onto his hands and squeezed them.

'Move in with me' he suddenly said. We already spend almost ALL of our time together, either at your place or mine, so why not make it permanent' he said, kissing your cheek again.

You couldn't smile a bigger smile.

'Char, I'd love that' you said, turning around so you could give him a proper kiss this time. Nothing sexual, just pure love. You ended sitting on a near by bench, just basking in each others presence and the love you had for one-another.

Things had progressed well from then-on.

You'd moved in with Charles, graced each and every corner of his apartment with unbelievably good sex, attended as many races as you could. And before you know it your one year anniversary was coming up, when you'd be in Belgium for the GP.

You were due to join Charles in Belgium in a few days.

But today you woke up feeling man down. You met Carmen, George's girlfriend for lunch but halfway through you had to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and be sick.

Must be something you ate, you thought.

Wrong.

You were so wrong.

Carmen lightly suggested you take a pregnancy test, then it hit you. It was no secret that you and Charles had A LOT of sex. A lot of unprotected sex. You were both clean, and you were on birth control. But you should have realized sooner that its not always going to do its job to the max, especially with the amount you fucked. And now that you think out it, you have been feeling low of energy the whole week.

'Shit' you muttered to yourself. You and Charles hadn't really talked about when you'd have kids. It was more of a 'yes, we definitely want kids, in the future.' Not near future.

Carmen drove you to the pharmacy and picked up a few different brands of tests just to make sure they were consistent. Back home, she waited for you in the lounge, while you took the tests.

By now you were hyperventilating. What if they come out to be positive and Charles doesn't want it at this point of his life? What if he pushes you away too?

'Okay, calm down,' you told yourself. 'You'll be okay. You and Charles will be okay' you whispered.

You peed on the 3 sticks, and then came the waiting game. It felt like time was frozen.

The longest 3 minutes of your life, when your phone buzzed with a message from Charles: 'I can't wait to see you baby xx' That put a smile on your face and warmed you up a little bit.

Until you timer went off. Bracing yourself, you gave yourself another small pep-talk, and finally checked the tests.

Positive Positive Positive

'Pickles' you mumbled, but you couldn't keep a smile off your face.

You needed to figure out what to say to Charles. You needed to prepare yourself for happy tears or sad tears.

As you arrived in Belgium, two days later, it was also the day of your anniversary.

As soon as you got to your shared room with Charles that morning he had pulled you in and his lips were on yours instantly.

'You're finally here mon amour' he mumbled as his tongue fought yours for dominance.

'Happy Anniversary baby' you said as you pulled away and hugged him as tight as you could.

'Happy Anniversary Y/N, I love you more than life.'

His words warmed your nerves. There was no way there were going to be sad tears when you told him. Right? You could only hope and pray so.

Since media duties for the race only started tomorrow, the day started with a good round of lazy sex and a beautiful bouquet of flowers from your boyfriend. Charles then took you on an unofficial tour of the city. He'd been here for 4 GPs now, so he had a couple of his favorite spots that he wanted to show you.

You had a lovely lunch at a tapas bar and then the afternoon was filled with more touring. You were glad today was a better day and you weren't feeling so ill.

You'd decided to tell Charles the news after dinner tonight. To make it a bit special, you had a onesie made in red that had a picture of a Ferarri and 'Baby Leclerc' written on it.

Dinner was lavish. He took you to an expensive restaurant meaning you dressed extremely smart with a black satin dress that showed your curved off in the most delicious way. It was no doubt that you would forgo any underwear today. Although once you told him the news and shed happy tears, you would go and change into some teeny lingerie for him.

As you got back to the hotel room, you told Charles you needed to talk to him, just as he was about to pounce on you. He said the serious look in your face and immediately backed away. He got so worried so you had to reassure him that everything was fine and it was nothing bad.

You made him sit on the couch while you went to get his gift.

Handing him the gift bag he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

He smiled and started to open it up.

By now your heart was pumping out of your body and you were shaking.

You bit your lip as he finally took the onesie out and looked at it, with a puzzled expression.

Then, he looked at your with wide eyes. You just gave him a smile.

Then his dimples flashed out at you. 'Y/N, is this for real? Are we actually having a baby?' he talked in quick French.

'Oui, we are, Charles'

He quickly pulled you in for the tightest hug.

'Oh my god, i can't believe it' he cooed in your neck.

Then he bought his hands down to your stomach and gently rubbed it, tears stinging his eyes and yours.

Pulling back, he had a brightest smile.

'Y/N you are such an incredible person. I can't tell you how happy you make me' he said, pulling you in again, this time for a kiss.

He breaks away to look that the onesie again, smiled growing impossibly bigger.

As you watched him, you wondered how you ever let yourself think Charles would be unhappy.

'I'll be back' you mumbled as you went to the bathroom to quickly change into your lacy black lingerie.

When you walked out and Charles looked you - let's just say he would die a happy man right now.

'Fuck me. What did i ever do to deserve you?' he said as he stood up and made a beeline to you.

He pushed you to the bathroom door and kissed you. He kissed you like there was no tomorrow. Full of passion. Full of love. And full of lust.

You opened your mouth to him and he explored all of your mouth, sucking into your bottom lip before giving you a small bite.

Quickly though, he removed himself from your hold and lowered down to his knees. He touched you stomach again and started talking.

'Hi baby, it's you daddy here.' he whispered, pecking your tummy.

'Mummy is keeping you safe, and i can only hope you turn out to be as amazing as she is. I love you so much, even though i just learnt about you not 10 minutes ago' kissing you stomach again.

You giggled at his words before pulling him to stand up again.

'He, or she, is only the size of a a grape right now' you told him.

'Grape or orange, i love them all the same. And i love you Y/N, so much'

'i love you too, my Charlie. I am so incredibly happy right now. I could burst' you told him.

'Oh non, please don't burst now' he laughed before his lips were on yours again.

'Wait, is it safe for us to have sex? Oh my god we had sex this morning. Are you ok? Is the baby okay?'

You all but giggled. 'Of course its safe my love. Plus, i am incredibly horny'

He didn't need to be told twice. He scooped you off your feet and set yow down on the bed.

'Let me show you how much i love you. Oh and i'm definitely fucking you with this still on, but another day' he said, pointing towards your lingerie. He quickly removed it before settling himself between you legs, aiming himself at your cunt.

He licked a warm strip up your pussy before sucking on your clit.

'Oh Charles. Fuck. You're amazing' you moaned while tugging on his hair.

'Cherie, you are the amazing one. Merde' he whispered before sinking two fingers into you.

It didn't take long to reach your first orgasm. He continued to finger fuck before you tried to move away.

'Need to feel you in me, Charles. Please. Please fuck me'

'A bit eager today, are we?' he smirked

'You fucking better get used to it. These hormones are not playing anymore' you laughed as he settled his weight on you.

He gently slid in and set a slow pace.

'Charles?' 'Hmm?' ha answered.

'I said fuck me. Not make love to me'

And so he did. He slammed into you. Filling you up so perfectly.

'Y/N' he breathed. 'You're so tight. Clenching around me so nicely. Fuck'

His thumb found your clit and you cried out. Your orgasm fast approaching. Charles as well finished rather quickly today. His warm cum feeling better than ever.

As you slowed down and both came down from you high, he slowly slid out of you.

As you looked down on him you noticed something.

'Char, you're still so hard' you said with a shocked face.

'Y/N, you don't know how turned on i still am' he said, almost shyly.

'Oh my god, please fuck me again. But this time i want to taste you, so finish in my mouth' you said as you both quickly found your places again.

You certainly were sore and sensitive, but you still couldn't get enough of him.

In no time you were crashing down again.

'Fuck, Charles' you moaned into his ear.

You quickly felt him pull out and place his feet on the floor as you sat up and took his dick into your hands.

He held you hair out of your face as you took him into your mouth and started bopping your head up and down.

'Fuck Y/N. Yes baby. Fuck' he all but screamed as he emptied himself to the back of your throat.

You swallowed everything you could.

You both tried to catch you breath as he sat back down on the bed and took you into his arms.

You were so overwhelmed. Now, you were crying.

'Are you okay Y/N? Did i hurt you? Shit, I heard you'

He barely held in a laugh. 'No Char, you didn't. I'm just so happy. I love you and out life so much.'

He kissed your forehead.

'I've never been happier my baby'

He got up to get a cloth to clean you both up the settled back into bed.

He pulled you to his side and just cuddled you.

'I love you, and happy anniversary amour'

'Love you too Char. Happy anniversary''' you replied back.

He kissed you. Long and soft. And you both were so excited for the rest of our lives together.

THE END.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it!

[hunterevie]

Something non-Destiel related for a bit. But it is related to Supernatural.

I’ve mentioned a couple of times my dad died. It's only been 6 weeks and it doesn't feel any easier. I'm thinking about him a lot at the moment, and how engaged he was when I spoke of the show and my convention experiences.

I started watching Supernatural as soon as it aired in the UK. I’m a horror fan so it was right up my street. I normally watched it on my own late in the evening.

There was a day when my dad watched it with me. His first words were ‘oh that’s why you watch it.’ Literally as Jensen and Jared popped on the screen. Obviously, teenage me denied it profusely. I did genuinely watch for the story, but two cute leads also helped.

It was the only time we watched it together before I fell out of love with it in my 20s around S5.

I started watching again when I was in my 30s after Jensen was announced as being on The Boys (I love The Boys!). During the rewatch, I fell in love with Cas and started to understand Destiel.

I attended my first convention in 2023. I had missed out on Jensen being in my home town, so thought I'd take a holiday to Dusseldorf to attend Purcon 7.

I told my dad I was planning on attending this convention, and he remembered it was a show I enjoyed as a teenager. He seemed shocked it lasted so long, and that I was watching again. But happy that I was doing something I would enjoy.

I attended 4 conventions over the last year, and he’d always be the first to ask how they were. Wanting to know if I had a good time, what it was like. Whether the actors were nice. If they said anything about the pieces I got signed. Stuff like that.

The weekend before Purcon 8, I was with my parents. My dad was still in the recovery stage of his radiotherapy and was ill, but pretty bright otherwise. I remember telling him I'd visit again in a couple of weeks and tell him all about the holiday and convention. Hopefully give him something a bit more positive to think about for a little while.

I didn't know that it would be my last conversation with my dad.

He was put into an induced coma 12 hours before I was due to fly to Germany. That morning I had conversations with my mum, who told me to go. That we didn't know at the time what would happen and I would just be at home worrying about him. So I did.

It was on the morning of Purcon 8 that I found out he had brain damage caused by a mistake in A&E. That he wouldn't come back to us and it wasn't even because of the cancer. I was in pieces. I found a corner of the hotel and just sat there crying because I couldn't get the strength to do anything else. I somehow found it when I needed to get my auto with Misha and photos with Misha and Jensen though.

I managed to ask Jensen for a hug, because I needed one after that news. Not Misha though. I love the guy but he still intimidates the living shit out of me sometimes, and I'm convinced he may not like me.

When I did get home my dad was still in a coma and I did as promised. I told him all about my holiday. About the convention. How I summoned the courage to ask Jensen for a hug, and tell Misha about the promotion I got working on something really important politically.

Afterwards, I cried because I knew it would be the last time I would get to talk to him about one of my favourite shows, and my convention experiences. It broke my heart.

Anyway, I don't really know where my point was with all this. I just was reminiscing. If you have read, thank you for letting me get it all out, and here are some photos of my holiday I could never show my dad. (Which is even more gut wrenching, as we did share a love of photography).

If you've never visited Dusseldorf and the surrounding cities, I recommend it. It's so beautiful around there.

[sunbowo-o]

⚠️ HoO Spoilers ⚠️

ok, so i just finished the last book from HoO and i need to say that, even though i LOVED this saga, i am kinda disappointed with the ending... and here is why:

(tbh, i don't know if these are controversial or general agreement topics, but pls be nice!)

i felt like a lot of things were missing, like, for example, WHY the hell didn't have a scene with Percy and his mother??? not even a LETTER?? 😭 my boy went missing for so long, his mum must be dying from worries and we don't even get a chapter with them both talking?? after everything Sally has done on the first saga?

another character that i felt was forgotten is Grover. tbf, i didn't expect like a whole scene with a long dialogue with him, but, how much it would cost just to say that, for example, Nico saw him, Percy and Annabeth talking together? the og trio. he deserved so much better 💔

ok, so we miss all these, but what do we get?? JASON AND PIPER KISSING! like, i understand the importance of the scene (a new begining and shit) but is not like we haven't seen it happening before, they say it was their first kiss but that part didn't had any impact on me like???? and they're just a OK couple, doesn't even gets close to that Percabeth kiss scene in the end of the last PJO book. so, yeah, was this REALLY necessary??

Leo's "death" was a really weak angst. don't get me wrong, leo is one of my favourite characters of all time, and i know some of the readers got really sad, but i didn't, because i knew he wouldn't die (ok, this was my fault maybe, but i saw that he was the one who narrates the last chapter) and we kinda of knew his plan, i knew he had the cure with him yk?

and, complementing topic 4, the last chapter being about him and Calipso was just 😐😐 like, everyone thinks he is dead, but we know he is not, so it doesn't have this weight anymore, and, then, he goes to Calipso... i know he is obsessed with her, and talk about her throughout all the book, but, why this was the last chapter??? A WHOLE SAGA SAYING ABOUT MONSTERS AND GAIA AND IT JUST END WITH TWO "TEENS" TALKING ABOUT OH YEAH WE DONT KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING BY THE WAY

And, in the topic of monster and battle, the Gaia battle was SO DAMN BORING!!! Ok, so Rick passed 5 whole books saying to readers "hey, pay attention! they can't let Gaia wake up or else will be THE END OF THE WORLD" and we are like "ok lol" and then she wakes up and i was like "OH SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY GOING TO DO?? IS THE END!!! NOOOO!!!" ... she appears... they drag her to the sky... one explosion (and an unnecessary Octavian death) and BOOM! its over. "simple" like that. AND without any relevant deaths.

i am just angry because the end of PJO was wonderful. they had to do hard sacrifices, (Charlie), it had betrayal plot (Silena) and redemption (Silena and Luke). they had to use ALL the forces they could think of and still was a difficult battle. and the main villain was a TITAN!!!!! Gaia was supposed to be SO MUCH DIFFICULT, and yet, it was not. the giants were harder to fight.

and talking about fight. the way that the amazons and the hunters didn't appear back was so 😐😐 too. like, it seemed they were forgotten like Grover and Sally. not even a change of letters? just to guarantee they were ok...

my verdict: pjo CRUSHES hoo

anyway, i know that there's "more" but i also know that The Seven™ will not be all together again, so its just kinda of disappointment to know that was the end... feel free to also give your opinion (but try to avoid future spoilers please!)

(also, srr for my English! 🫶)

[extremelyblackandwhite]

pairing: dad!bucky barnes x au pair!reader

warnings: age gap (reader is 10 years younger than bucky), smut (18+, dni if under 18)

author’s note: sorry this one is a bit short. i am worrying myself silly until tomorrow.

masterlist

and wouldn't you love to love her?

Bucky didn't know if Y/N wouldn't be back. He had decided to give her space, allow her the time off since she never had any but explaining it to Sadie was, to say the least, complicated. The two year old had decided to live up to the terrible two cliche and between refusing to go to school and kicking any time he tried to bathe her. Whenever she asked when Y/N would be back all Bucky could say was that he did not know and, honestly, that was the truth. The more the days passed by and her viva examination got closer, he was starting to believe more and more that maybe she just wasn't coming back at all. I like you just the way you are, what ever happened to Hey Y/N, would you like to go for some coffee? No, he just had to be upfront about it.

As if Sadie living up to her prophecy wasn't enough, Christopher was equally on him blabbing and wondering about Y/N. He could only tlel him so much before Chris charted a jet to Ohio and he was certain Y/N would hate that more than what he told her.

Bucky was in the middle of dealing with Sadie screaming bloody murder about the pancakes not having chocolate chips when he heard the front door close. At this point, if someone came to shoot him in the head he wouldn't mind. However, it turned out to be a much pleasant sight dressed in a professional black dress.

      - Why is she crying? - Y/N drapped her coat over the chair.

      - There's no chocolate chips. - Bucky sighed both of relief that Y/N was here and of tiredness.

      - Sadie Barnes, you either eat your pancakes or there will be no TV, no tablet, no toys, no Etch-a-Sketch and definitely no Bluey, Disney + or any other streaming service your dad may be paying for. Your choice.

The redhead stared at Y/N before starting to eat her pancakes. That's it, Y/N was a witch. She had to be a witch. That's it. She was a witch, a very pretty witch who looked way too polished to have come out of an Ohio farm, but a witch.

      - How were the cows?

      - Pardon?

      - Your parents. You went to see your parents right? They live in a farm in Ohio?

      - Yeah. They were ok. Apparently mum has named them Rose, Sophia, Dorothy, and Blanche much to dad's dismay.

      - Like the Golden Girls. - he chuckled. - So, your viva is today.

      - Don't remind me. It's like walking into a slaughter house and then being denied being called a doctor. They should decapitate me, put my head on a spike, and parade me around Columbia as the massive disappointment.

      - What's decapitate? - Sadie asked.

      - It's the capital. - Bucky said not wanting to traumatise his two year old with the scenario Y/N had just described. - Go wash your hands and get your backpack, bug.

Sadie nodded but not before going over to hug Y/N's leg. Y/N ruffled her head before sending her along to wash her hands. Bucky got to making Y/N a plate, patting the chair next to him. She smiled at him before taking a seat and cutting a bit of the pancake. She stopped chewing, looking at him with a forced smile.

      - Good?

      - Buck, why are they salty? - she put a napkin in front of her mouth to spit out the pancake.

      - They're not salty. - Bucky took a forkful from her plate to try it himself.

      - We've had this discussion, Buck. Salt is in the black pot and sugar in the white one.

      - I'm gonna be a mess when you quit. - he pushed the plate away from her. - Speaking of which, I would like if you interviewed your future replacement. I trust you to pick the right person.

      - Most likely you won't need a replacement because I'm failing my viva today.

      - You are not. - Bucky put his hand on her shoulder. - You are smart, Baudelaire.

      - Baudelaire?

      - Do the scary thing first. Get scared latter.

(...)

Bucky drove Y/N down to Columbia, ensuring she got there safe and ready for her VIVA before driving down to take Sadie to school. Y/N swallowed in empty, merely staring at the hallowed halls of a building which had many notable alumni and she was now hoping she would be one. The VIVA was intense to say less and as she came out of the room, she was sweating buckets and wanting to be as far away from the building as possible.

      - Y/N! - shit. Shit, shit, shit, she'd forgotten he existed. What ever happened to men taking a hint?

      - Chris. - she turned around with a fake smile. - What are you doing here?

      - Anderson told me it was your VIVA today, I wanted to come see you. I haven't seen you in a while and Barnes said you were on holiday.

      - I thought after our last chat you wouldn't want to talk to me, Christopher.

      - It was a hurdle, Y/N. - he got closer to her. - Listen, I understand it was rough of me to attack your job like that but you have to understand it's because I care for you and that job is beneath you.

      - No job is beneath anyone, Christopher. You think that silver spoon mouthed talk is gonna make me forget you basically insulted me, my boss and the child I look after?

      - You have a Bachelors and a Masters, Y/N. You should be working internships, assistant positions to help you build your curriculum, not being a silver spoon mouthed man's child's babysitter.

      - That's all fine when you can afford to work a non paid position, Christopher.

      - I care about you, Y/N.

      - But I don't love you.

      - I don't expect you to love me yet, we haven't been seeing each other for too long and if we ...

      - Christopher. - she interrupted him. - I love someone else. It's not gonna stop.

(...)

Y/N dragged herself home. It was now a week, a week long of worrying wether she passed or not. She guessed it was better than having to do it again, heck she hoped she wouldn't have to do it again. She opened the door and heard mumbling with all the lights being off. She moved to turn the lights on, coming face to face with a home made sign and Sadie yelling surprise.

      - What is this? - she smiled, leaning down to pick Sadie up.

      - You're done, it's a party. - Bucky chuckled, pointing to the sign. - We have reservations in about 3 hours. Bought an ice cream cake and Sadie made you a card.

      - You shouldn't have done this.

      - What? After 3 years and a half of you moaning and whining over psychology, you need a nice night out.

      - You do know she'll start crying at around 10.

      - That's why we have dinner reservations at 6.30 and once she's in bed, I will allow you full control of the television. How does that sound?

      - I may not pass.

      - You got this far. You deserve a celebration just for you.

taglist: @talesofadragon @themermaidscales82 @winters1917 @vladsgirlxx @stinkerbelle007 @maybefoxysouls @blackwood-bodecker-housewife @chipilerendi @kandis-mom @belennasif @abitofblues @buckybarnessimpp

[maydaydiaz]

bts are saying all the focus on rg in the behind the scenes content means we’re getting means rg leaving in S8 and they think lfj is going to take his spot and get a series regular promotion they claim to have it confirmed

honestly anon what they fail to tell you is that it was, in fact, their cousin's mum's long-lost auntie's son's goldfish who confirmed it.

no but for real, they're just jealous that ryan is loved and adored by the entire cast and crew. he's the people's princess.

they hate that he's happy. we all know the kind of things they've been saying about him irl and his character and it just makes them more annoyed that their crusty man hasn't been seen in any s8 bts yet and that when he was in s7, he looked like he'd never known what fun was and would rather be talking to himself on a video.

their hate campaign is failing spectacularly, their ship is sinking and their holier-than-thou saviour lou is off somewhere begging for another role for his 10 seconds of fame like the d-list actor he is so they're trying to stir up things to make other people feel just as worried and anxious as they are now.

if they were confident he was coming back for s8, or that bt were endgame like they claim they believe, they wouldn't be stirring anything up.

[canirove]

Rice, Rice, baby | Chapter 27

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“So, are you ready to make coffee for your favourite player one last time before the little man arrives?” 

“Declan, just because I'm going on maternity leave doesn't mean I'm not allowed to make you or anyone else a coffee, you know?” I laugh. 

“I was talking about Jack, Liv” he smirks over facetime.

“You… urgh” I reply, rolling my eyes.

“But good to know I am your favourite player” he winks. 

“Maybe not anymore” I say, trying really hard to stop my cheeks from turning bright red. How can his wink affect me even through a screen? Like… how? 

“Liar” he laughs. “Anyway, there was something I wanted to ask you before me and the boys arrive tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

“Now that my family and everyone at Arsenal knows about us… About having a baby together and all that…” he says, biting his lip. He had never done that before, and it is… dear God. It is the hottest thing ever. “Would you mind if I also told the people here?”

“What?” 

“I just… It's going to be very tough to see you and not be able to act normal around you. To have to fake in front of everyone and hear them talk about you and Alex, or about him being the father of my son.”

“Alex is sick, you won't have to see him.”

“How convenient, uh?” he chuckles.

“That's what I said, yes. He's a coward, he doesn't want to have to face you.”

“Good. Because if we crossed paths and he said something to me, I don't know if I would be able to contain myself and not break his nose.”

“Leave the punching to me, please.”

“Ok” Declan smiles. “But Liv… I think it would help us both be more relaxed, you know? And it would be a way to avoid the boys who already know about it saying something they shouldn't or someone hearing them and starting a rumour.”

“I guess it makes sense… But the idea of Jack Grealish knowing about it isn't the most comforting one. He doesn't seem to be the most trustworthy person, you know?”

“Jack is a good guy, Liv. But if you don't trust him, we won't tell him anything.”

“Thank you. I don't trust any of his club teammates, to be honest.”

“Liv!” Declan laughs.

“What? Don't you read the news?”

“Ok, fine. We won't tell anything to the City boys.”

“Good. I don't like Henderson either.”

“Olivia!” he laughs again.

“It's not my fault that your teammates suck, Declan” I shrug.

“I think it would be easier if you sent me a list with who is banned and who isn't.”

“Good idea. When were you planning on telling them?”

“Liv, I was joking” he chuckles. “But you aren't.”

“I'm not, no. I'm about to have a baby for the first time, and that's scary enough already. I don't want to have to worry about people I don't like telling their wives, lovers or whatever it is they have going on, and it ending in the press. We have enough with your ex’s crazy fans.”

“Yeah, that's true” he sighs.

“I’ll send you that list later today, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Thank you, Declan.”

“No. Thank you, Liv, for allowing me to do this. I know it isn't easy for you.”

“Yeah, well… But they are your friends even if some of them are a bit questionable” I shrug. “No one is perfect.”

“I'm really close to it, tho” he smirks.

“So humble, Declan Rice.”

“The most humble one.”

“Olivia, lunch is ready!” my mum calls from downstairs.

“I have to go. I'll send you that list as soon as I can, ok?”

“Ok” he nods. “But we still are talking tonight, aren't we?”

“Of course. I wouldn't miss our night chats for anything in the world.”

“Neither would I” he smiles. And even though I like all his smiles, this one is my favourite one. Because it is a real and honest one, one that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It probably is the one that made me fall in love with him. “See you tonight, Liv.”

“See you tonight, Declan.” 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Liv!” 

“Hello, Harry” I smile as he walks into the cafeteria.

“Oh my God” he says. “Look at you! You look beautiful!”

“Oh, stop it” I say before hugging him. “How are Kate and the kids?”

“They all are good, feeling more and more at home in Munich.”

“So glad to hear that. Tell them I miss them and that I'm looking forward to seeing them soon.”

“I wil” he smiles. “But let's talk about you! How are you feeling? And the little one?”

“We both are doing great. I get a bit more tired every day, but that's normal towards the end.”

“It is, yes. May I?” he says, nodding towards my bump.

“Of course” I smile.

“It is amazing, isn't it? You still haven't met him, and you already love him and would do anything for him.”

“Yeah” I say, trying to not get emotional.

“Declan told me you still don't have a name.”

“Nope. And if you are thinking about suggesting yours… Too late. He already did.”

“He told me you are being quite peculiar about it” he chuckles.

“Peculiar or stubborn?” I ask, arching an eyebrow.

“Well…”

“It's ok, don't worry” I laugh.

“Can I confess something?” Harry says. 

“Sure.”

“I'm glad Declan is his dad and not Alex. I've known Dec for a long time and he is one of the good ones. One of the best. He may have made some mistakes in the past, some very big ones…” Oh, he knows. Of course Harry knows about everything that has happened between us. Declan looks up to him, he is one of his role models. And he has known us both for years, basically seen us go from teenagers to adults. So if Declan was in need of advice or needed to vent, he was the perfect person to go to. “But you won't find anyone with a heart like his, Liv. He will do anything for you and the baby, to make sure you both are safe and happy. Alex, on the other hand…”

“I thought you liked him.”

“He doesn't like me, and I don't like him either. But unlike him, I'm a gentleman.”

“Touché” I chuckle. “And the others are coming” I say, looking at the door.

“I believe not everyone knows, right?”

“Yeah… I just…”

“Don't need to explain yourself, Liv. I'm their captain, I know what we are dealing with” he laughs.

“I… umm… Thank you, Harry.”

“You're welcome, Liv” he smiles, kissing my hand before some other players join us. While they all congratulate me and start talking about how the baby will be a future Tottenham star knowing how much my dad loves football and the club, I look for Declan around the cafeteria.

When I find him, he is with Bukayo and Mason, two of the people who know about us. While they talk, he is just looking at me, smiling. And it is that smile again, the one he gave me over facetime the day before and that makes me feel all the butterflies. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Olivia, is that a piece of cake?”

“Shit!” I say, the fork slipping from my hands. “What are you doing here, Declan? Isn't the bus leaving already?”

“In five minutes” he says, picking the fork from the floor. “They needed to check something and I told them I had to go to the bathroom.”

“You are in the wrong place, then.”

“Liv, I lied. I wanted to see you before I left. Maybe get a good luck kiss?” he smirks.

“A what?” 

“Oh my God, your face just turned the same colour of my Arsenal shirt” he laughs. 

“Not funny!” I say, kicking his leg.

“Hey, I need that for later today!”

“Sorry” I shrug, eating another bite of my cake. Our chocolate cake. The national team had thrown me a little goodbye party the day before and Declan had told them to get it for me as a present because it was my favourite. Though it turned out to also be their favourite, and I had had to ask Olga to hide some slices in the kitchen just for me.

“Anyway, can I get a good luck kiss or not? On the cheek, of course.”

“Of course” I say, my face still burning. “Do I have to get up? You are too tall, Declan.”

“Ok, I'll bend down” he says, kneeling in front of me. “Better?”

“Much better, thank you. Which cheek do you prefer?”

“I don't mind. But before you do it” he says, one of his hands suddenly cupping my face while the thumb of the other moves over the corner of my mouth, making me gasp. “You have chocolate here, Liv.”

“Oh” I say. Oh. That's all I'm able to say. Because he is too close. And you all know what happens when he is that close. His eyes, his perfume, my brain and body shutting down…

“Liv…” he whispers, his thumb now over my lower lip, moving even closer. He is going to kiss me. He is. I can see his eyes moving from mine to my mouth and back up, hesitating, kind of like asking for permission.

“Declan” I whisper back, closing my eyes and hoping it will tell him that I want it. His kiss. Him. I want him. 

And when I feel his lips brushing against mine…

“Deccers!” someone calls from outside the cafeteria, making us both jump and quickly get up. Though in my case maybe not so quickly. “Deccers, where are you?”

“I… I have to go. That's Jack and…”

“Yes, of course.”

“I… umm…”

“Good luck, Declan” I say, giving him the kiss on the cheek we had agreed on once I've finally managed to stand up. 

“Thank you, Liv” he replies, still not moving.

“Deccers!” Jack says, opening the cafeteria's door. “C'mon, we are waiting for you, bro!”

“Yes, sorry, I just… I…”

“He had forgotten his ipad here earlier and came to get it back” I quickly say. 

“I don't care. Can we leave now?” Jack says.

“Jerk” I say under my breath.

“Yes, of course. I… Umm… Take care, Liv.”

“You too you, Declan. And good luck.”

“Thank you” he smiles, hitting a chair as he leaves.

“Bro, careful!”

“Sorry” Declan says, looking at me one last time before he and Jack disappear through the door, leaving me alone with my cake… and another almost kiss.

[abiiors]

maybe Jules and matty meeting each others parents for the first time 🥹 or honestly just any fluffy stuff

the meeting with matty's parents goes easy as a walk in the park. it's not planned, not really. they just show up as a surprise to one the band's big gigs. jules, who happens to be there, goes bright red the moment she runs (quite literally) into the denise welch.

she tries not to be awkward and all flustered about it, muttering apologies for knocking into her like that until a tween boy pops his head from behind her, looking adorably like a mini version of matty. jules almost coos, wanting to pinch his cheeks, but she doubts the boy would appreciate it much.

it's matty's little brother, she's soon told by her grinning boyfriend who's over the moon from this turn of events. louis, who initially makes faces at the prospect of his older brother having a girlfriend, comes around the moment they discover their shared love for video games.

matty can't stop beaming--looking between his mum and his girlfriend, getting along like a house on fire. he has no doubts that when jules gets to meet matty's dad later that month, she'd immediately take the spot of the darling of the family.

meeting jules' parents goes a differently, however.

he's bricking it, and even though he hasn't told jules about it matty's sure she can tell. he's being so obvious with wiping his sweaty palms on his (not ripped, clean) jeans every five minutes, the bouncing of his knees. the teeth gnawing on his lips.

it's not a long train ride but her parents do live down south--residents of a much posher area that he's used to. uncharted waters he thinks. next to him jules pretends to be cool and aloof, but matty knows she isn't all that happy about it either.

it's not that she doesn't get along with her parents. it's that they hardly speak, much more formal and stilted with each other. the complete opposite of matty and his family.

"they'll love you" she says, once and then twice. matty takes hold of her hand, kissing it sweetly.

"eh, i'm not so worried about that." his grin is easy going and carefree. the grin jules loves so dearly. for her sake, he will be on his best behaviour.

it goes as they both expect it. a dinner verging on formal and awkward, jules' mum and dad asking questions only when the silence gets overwhelming. other than that they're painfully cordial--all tight smiles, and polite hellos and averted eyes.

it's only when they leave for the night that jules breathes a huge sigh of relief. "thought i was going to suffocate in there, god!" she whines, turning to matty and pouting.

"i'm sorry it was a bit shit."

he's about to make a joke, something silly to get rid of his own disappointment when he sees the hurt shining in her eyes. she'd thought this would go better. that for once her family would be all warm and loud like matty's. and it hadn't.

matty takes a hold of her hand and pulls her closer, twirling her last minute before he can catch her in his arms. they're in the middle of the street, passers by giving them odd looks but he doesn't care about it. he cares that she feels appreciated.

he cares that she feels as precious as she is to him.

"posh southern people," he grins, swapping pansies out for people last minute out of respect. although he has a sneaking feeling she wouldn't have minded either way.

they walk hand in hand down the road and towards the train station, still full from the lunch and cracking up about all the awkward moments.

"can we just..."

"meet up with everyone and get drunk?" matty finishes her question. finally, her face brightens a little and jules nods.

[pinkydevil16]

Tyler Galpin x reader: Bunny

Tyler had staked his claim on Y/n the moment he'd met her, decided she was his bunny, his innocent bunny to nurture and protect. When he was younger he'd thought it was because he saw her like a sister, but when he grew up he realised he didn't want her to be his sister, he didn't want her to be a friend, he wanted her to be his. His dad thought it was a cute crush, happy he had friends other than the trouble making boys he hung around with, a sweet girl who made him do his homework and helped out his mum aswell. Tyler changed quickly when his mum passed away, he became meaner for a while, bullying an outcast until Y/n found out. She'd threatened to stop being his friend and that had snapped something inside of him, wanting to slam her against the wall by her throat and demand she take it back, instead he fell to his knees and cried into her stomach. Y/n's heart breaking as she pet his hair, hugging him close and apologising for being so cruel to him, he's just lost his mum and then she threatened to leave? How cruel of her.

Then he met Laurel, and he realised what had snapped that night, the night Y/n threatened to leave him his hyde had claimed her, not as a master, but as his property. Laurel showed him he could have anything he wanted, showed him how to manipulate and how to kill, she thought it was all for her, and maybe at first it was but Tyler knew every kill made Y/n run into his arms. Afraid of the creature in the woods, and Tyler was more than happy to walk her home, cuddle her whilst she talked about her day, working at the police station with his dad meant she knew a little too much but he liked it. Liked how she told him everything, his dad's pretty little secretary, he'd gotten his bunny the job by manipulating his dad and why wouldn't his dad want his son to be happy? So he ignored all the warning signs, made a few jokes about Tyler's nickname for Y/n, bunny, an odd nickname since Y/n wasn't an innocent bunny, she was funny and sparky but to Tyler she would always be that innocent girl he'd met. Didn't say anything when Tyler pushed over a boy who asked Y/n out, told the kids parents Tyler hadn't meant to, covered up his sons behaviour.

Y/n sat on the counter top of the weathervane, Tyler wiping down a few tables and chatting to the patrons, his eyes always coming back to Y/n as she swung her legs. She'd finished work, the Sheriff letting her go early before it turned dark, knowing Tyler would walk her home or she'd stay the night if she worried about Tyler walking home alone. Tyler smiled as he walked towards Y/n, pushing her legs open to slot himself between them, Y/n smiling up at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Do you want a new drink bunny?" Y/n hummed to herself for a moment, leaning back then nodding with a wide grin, Tyler's hands holding her upper thighs tightly as she moved, refusing to let her move an inch away from him. Tyler gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, slowly moving back so his hands grazed along her thighs, a tease he loved to do to her, watching as she tensed her thighs unable to press them together. He'd kept her his innocent bunny, any guy who came near her was quickly scared off by him or they tried to stop her being friends with Tyler which she didn't like either. Tyler flitted around behind her, typing away on her phone with her legs crossed on the counter, only a few customers left as it was almost closing, dark outside and everyone feeling the fear of whatever was in the woods creeping into their bodies. Tyler came round with her drink, Y/n uncrossing her legs allowing him to slot between them once more, her hands coming to grasp the drink, taking a quick sip before letting a small moan escape her lips. Tyler drinking in the noise, adjusting so he wouldn't be pressing against her thigh, not that she ever noticed when she cuddled up to him. 

"How was work?" Y/n placed down her cup, moving to play with Tyler's hair as she thought over his question before sighing.

"Long, another body was found out near Nevermore, i can't believe we've got some creature or animal or whatever attacking people. Your dad's really worried about it, and you, i know he's bad at showing it but he does worry about you working so late." Tyler wanted to sneer at the thought of his dad caring, he only said it to Y/n since he wanted to seem like a good guy, he'd hidden his whole past from him and then basically abandoned him when his mum died so why should his dad start caring now. Instead Tyler nodded, grasping Y/n's hips and pulling her into him so he could drop his head into her neck, her arms coming around him as he played into her sympathy.

"I can close up early if you're scared bunny, we can stay at yours and make a blanket fort?" Y/n smiled, kissing his shoulder with a nod, Tyler grinning into her neck, laying a kiss under her ear, hearing her breath stop. His hands tightening on her hips, he wanted to rock into her, mark her neck and make her cry out but he was patient, she was in the palm of his hand but he wanted her to beg for it. 

30 minutes later and Tyler was locking up, Y/n hugged close to him with his jacket around her shoulders, the cold chill setting in as well as the dark streets. Very few people walking home from work, and a police cruiser driving through the streets on patrol, Tyler placed the keys in his pocket and wrapped Y/n under his arm. The walk was quick, her apartment not far from his work and with the chilly air Y/n was lightly pulling him closer until she saw her door, parting from Tyler to open it quickly,  both of them rushing in to keep the heat inside the small apartment. Tyler helping Y/n out her coat, hanging it up with his as she flitted through the apartment checking all the heating and flicking the kettle on for a hot drink to warm them back up. Tyler followed behind her, both their shoes discarded at the door, her body leaning against the counter trying to reach her hot chocolate, Tyler pressing against her as he grasped it just above her hand. Y/n smiling as she turned in his arms, reaching for the box but Tyler held it out her way, a smirk on his face as he and Y/n fought for a moment before she gave up. Huffing Y/n crossed her arms, leaning against the counter allowing Tyler to hover over her. Patting his cheek he spoke.

"You know the price bunny." Y/n rolled her eyes, letting out a playful sigh, reaching up to kiss his cheek, Tyler turning his head so her lips met his instead. Y/n gasping and hitting his chest as he laughed, dropping the hot chocolate onto the counter as he caged her in laughing at her pout.

"Sorry bunny, too easy not to." Y/n rolled her eyes, grabbing the hot chocolate and turning back around and making two drinks, Tyler pressing against her back, arms around her waist and head in the crook of her neck. Placing a small kiss on her neck he parted from her, grabbing pillows and blankets before setting up the sofa to be extra comfy, Y/n joining with their hot chocolates and some crisps tucked under her arms. Tyler helping her as he settled into the sofa, his arms open for Y/n after she switched on the tv and dropping into his lap, protective arms around her, smothering her into his chest. When they'd finished their drinks Tyler pulled her to lay down, her head on his chest and blankets piled on top of them, half asleep Y/n kissed his chest mumbling a thank you for staying with her, Tyler smirking as he kissed his bunny on the head. 

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[wolfstargazer]

What are your thoughts on Sirius and Remus openness about their sexual orientation, given the time and all? How old are they when they come out? Are they open to just the closest cirkle or do they show their love to the world? Do they agree or is this an area of conflict between them?

I love this ask! Whoa, okay, buckle in because this response is going to be long and include extended headcanon....

Sirius

My headcanon for this is that Sirius is bisexual. He has always been comfortable with sex, and could be described as bi-curious from his early teens, although it takes him until his late teens and post-Hogwarts to explore his sexuality in regards to men.

He never comes "out" in the sense that he makes an announcement, although this doesn't come from a place of shame rather a pathological dislike of explaining himself to others. He doesn't hide it, but he does tend to keep his personal life very separate from his friendships.

James has always known and, by extension, Lily. Those around him in the Order also know or at least suspect. In regards to his family I've always headcanoned that the Blacks wouldn't care and would have much more of a problem with Sirius' political opinions, his friends and being a Gryffindor than him being interested in men. Also in my headcanon the wizarding world is broadly more tolerant than it's Muggle counterpoint on things like this - and is analogous to the tacit acceptance of adolescent homosexuality as a result of the boarding school system prevalent in the upper classes in British society historically (more can be found out about this here).

Remus and more below the cut...

Remus

My headcanon for Remus is he really struggles with his sexuality. My Remus is demisexual and really struggles as a result of this, and has no clear conception of his orientation particularly as a teen. Much of this is due to his difficulty in experiencing sexual attraction as others seem to, which is a particular point of stress whilst he is a teenager. He also tries to persue romantic relationships with girls exclusively during his teenage years which never feels to him to be a natural fit. This is compounded by the intensity of his feelings for Sirius towards the end of their school days together and he struggles to understand what this means and represses this.

Much of Remus' attitudes and fears about his sexuality are compounded by both his experience of the Muggle world which is more intolerant, and his experience of his lycanthropy. Remus knows what it is like to marginalised, to be stigmatised and feared, and struggles to accept that he would be both a werewolf and be attracted to men. He also worries about intimacy, particularly sexual intimacy with others, as he doesn't trust himself easily as he fears "letting go" as a consequence of his lycanthropy. His internalised self-hatred in my mind really does run deep.

The only people in my headcanon who have a strong sense of Remus' struggles are in this regard are his mum and Lily. It is a great regret of Remus' that he was never able to talk to his mum about this before she died.

It takes Remus until his 30s, and until Sirius returns from Azkaban, to really accept his sexuality.

Does this drive conflict between Remus and Sirius?

One of the central drivers of the conflict and angst between Remus and Sirius in my work is the mis-match and tension between their feelings and attitudes towards their sexuality on an individual level, and what it means in terms of their relationship with each other.

Sirius recognises his feelings for Remus for what they are from very early on. But he does not feel Remus feels the same, and does not want to risk their friendship by expressing it in a way that he suspects his friend would reject or feel uncomfortable with. Plus, Remus' outward behaviour leads Sirius to believe he is straight.

Remus is afraid of his feelings for Sirius and does not want to be any more different than he already feels as a result of his lycanpthropy. Not only does he struggle to accept his demisexuality and same-sex attraction, but he would never in a million years feel that *the* Sirius Black would ever feel that way for him.

This tension grows and comes to a head post Hogwarts and the First War, and is a driving force behind the distance, mistrust and complete breakdown in their relationship to the point they suspect one another of being the spy.

When they are older, and post-Azkaban, things are very different. If you want to know why someone drop me an ask for part 2 of my TED Talk as I could go on about this forever! 💜

[hailthegodsong]

OUR LOVE IS BORN

Masterlist

Chapter 2 ~ Awestruck

Content Warnings: Nightmares, descriptions/memories of car accidents, anxiety, self-doubt, overstimulation, (trauma response/ PTSD if you squint) teenagers being annoying, angst, fluff.

The car was speeding up, plowing down the city street and swerving through lanes, past all traffic and towards the crossroads.

I wasn't in the car, but I could see it. It was like a vision, I could feel it coming towards me. We were moving slowly, plodding down our residential street.

I could see it again. The car was black. It looked angry. Demanding. Sweat coated the back of my neck and my hands gripped the seat I was on.

The car was getting closer, it wasn't slowing down.

I squeezed my eyes shut, I knew what was coming, but the driver didn't and it was too late to stop him. Nearer and nearer we drove, and the crossroads were in view now.

I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as fear creeped through my nerves and settled in my stomach.

I could see their headlights now, as they pummelled down to the intersection. Faster and faster. Any second now.

Gasping for air, I ripped my eyes open, my arms flying out to grip the sheets of my bed. I stared up at the dark roof above me, panting like I'd just ran a marathon. I reached the back of my hand up to my forehead, wiping a layer of sheen sweat from my skin, before sitting up and taking in my surroundings.

The nightmares weren't uncommon, but waking me up with such a start wasn't as normal. Taking a deep breath, I looked over at the time on my phone, which read 4:32am. Knowing I wouldn't be getting any more sleep for the night, I ripped off my bed covers and let my feet land on the plush soft carpet below me.

Today was the first day of school, and I couldn't be any more nervous. It was abundantly clear that I stuck out like a sore thumb in America, and being such a small town, there was slim chance I would go about unnoticed.

I had spent the last few days leading up to schools start with Josh, Sam, Jake and Danny, mostly messing around in their garage and taking trips to the store to splurge on processed sugar foods. I quickly saw the boys as my friends rather than neighbours and it comforted me deeply to think they might feel the same.

I flew through my morning mindlessly, showering, changing, packing a bag and eating, before plopping myself onto the couch and scrolling through my phone to pass the lengthly amount of time I had left over, thanks to my nervous start.

Luckily, Josh and Jake recently passed their drivers tests, so they vigilantly offered to drive me to school along with Sammy and Danny who I learnt were only a few years younger than us.

After pacing around the room and double checking my bag had everything I needed for the eighth time, I heard a light knock on my front door. Mum had left for work hours ago, and Dad was still in bed as I lightly padded over to the front door, swinging it open to reveal Josh with an excited smile on his face.

Dark bags gloomed under his eyes, likely from the unfamiliarity of waking up so early, but it was nothing compared to his lively and upbeat energy.

"Morning sunshine!" He practically shouted, and I winced, "Ready for your first day?" I gingerly swept my bag over my shoulder and shut the front door behind me, the cold nipping at the tip of my nose.

I had decided I wasn't going to hold anyone back today, not let them worry or coddle, and brave it on my own. I was sick of bearing my parents down, and if I could do this with no help, then maybe I could stop being such a burden on everyones life.

"Yep" I said popping the 'P', "Very excited," I strained the most genuine smile I could muster, Josh smiling back at me kindly.

I then stood dumbfounded as he reached his thumb and pointer finger out towards my face, before quickly pinching the tip of my nose, momentarily flooding it with heat. "Cold?" He asked.

My whole face flushed the same red as my nose, but I was spared by the loud and impatient beeps coming from their car on my driveway. Through the tinted glass, you could see Sam awkwardly bent over form the backseat and smashing the heel of his palm on the steering wheel, urging us to hurry up.

Josh sighed and hopped down my porch steps, me following shortly behind him. I pulled open the backdoor to see Jake, Sam and Danny crammed into the backseats together, all smiling brightly at me. I frowned and turned to Josh who had the passenger door held open for me, a hand in front of him to help my climb into the car as he said "M'lady."

It was kind of them to offer me the passenger seat, especially due to the fact that none of them knew how much I hated sitting in the back seat. They were making me feel genuinely happy. Genuinely cared for.

Looking back at the boys bashfully, I mouthed a sorry, took Josh's hand, and climbed into the car, waiting for Josh to hurry round and clamber into his seat. Sam's nimble fingers tapped my shoulders, and I turned to look at him in the back seat.

He raised his eyebrows at me, "Have the nerves kicked in yet?"

"A little bit.. how many people are in our year again?" I asked looking towards Jake.

He reached his fingers to his chin, "ehhh probably about 80, not too many." I sucked in a tight breath and smoothed my sweaty palm out flat on my jeans.

Josh peeked at me from the corner of his eye before clearing his throat and switching on the engine. Josh howled as the engine roared, clapping his hands and shimmying his shoulders.

"Fuckin' love this car," he grumbled through his teeth, before, to my utter surprise, leaning over me to reach into the passenger door pocket. His head hovered dangerously close to my chest as he fiddled around with a few CD's that sat in the small space. 

The tight curls of his hair ticked my chin and his smell invaded my senses. Finally, he chose a CD and withdrew from my side of the car, smiling at me cheesily before opening the case and sliding it into the receiver.

After a short pause, the familiar buzz of a guitar played through the speakers, One of these days by Ten Years After started on the stereo and I couldn't contain my grin.

I only looked at him, to find him already glancing at me side on, pride written all over his face. Facing back to the road ahead, he began to move off. The boys in the back started chatting loudly between themselves, leaving Josh and I to talk amongst ourselves.

I laughed, "I love this album."

"Have you listened to their self titled album too?"

The talk of music lasted the rest of the drive to school, which wasn't longer than 10 minutes due to the size of the small town. Josh pulled into an empty space at the school before yanking on the hand break, putting the gears into neutral and twisting the keys, cutting off the persistent hum of the engine.

I opened my passenger door, and slid out carefully, in attempt to save the car next to us from Josh's wonky parking. I swung my bag over my shoulder before shutting the door and walking to the back of the car where the boys had all conjugated.

Teenagers surrounded the parking space, some walking into the building, while others meandered around the car park. A few people looked our way, but none outwardly stared. I let out a sigh of relief. 

My mind had been manifesting a scenario of fear and anxiety for my first day, expecting attention, too much attention. But to my delight, nobody seemed to care.

"Shit parking, Josh," Danny commented, gesturing towards the car which sat out of place between the white park lines. Josh only smiled sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders.

"At least I got you guys here in one piece," he joked, before joining his brothers in sauntering off towards the front doors. Swallowing heavily and trying my hardest to not think too deep into his comment, I followed in suit, through the front doors and into the building.

There were two long corridors separated by a row of lockers, leading to a large window, where the isles branched off to the sides. Some teens stood by their lockers, taking out books and stationary, and others filed past us towards classroom doors.

Kindly, Josh offered to take me to administrations office to get my timetable, where he would then show me to my classroom. I couldn't describe my gratitude for him, knowing that if he wasn't there to help me, I probably would have chickened out and gone home by now.

After a short walk, we reached the office, a comfortable room with couches and a coffee table in front of the large desk at the end of the room. The heat of the room mothered the ache in the tips of my icy fingers. Two office ladies sat at the desk, looking down at papers and scribbling furiously.

I walked up to the front desk nervously. "Hello I'm new here, my name is Layla... I was wondering if I could get my timetable?" I chirped politely, my voice coming out an octave higher than I'd anticipated.

The lady, who had to be no older than 50, peered down at me above her spectacles, "Last name?"

"King," I replied, shifting on my feet, which were getting sore from my tip-toe position.

Without another word, she turned to her computer, the clicking of her acrylics against the keys being the only sound in the room. Josh, who stood beside me, stifled a laugh at the akwardness.

"Hmm," she drawled out. "Wait here." I watched as she waddled off to an extension room and out of sight.

Giving my feet a rest, I dropped them flat onto the floor and turned to Josh. "What if we don't have any classes together?" I asked nervously.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Plus, Jake and I have barely any classes together so you're likely to be put in his if not mine," he reassured.

I watched a muscle in his jaw tick, before he turned back to the desk where the receptionist was emerging, holding a folded piece of paper. She only spent a moment explaining the abbreviations and room numbers to me before handing it to me and returning to her work.

"Thank you!" I said before walking out of the room, Josh close behind.

We spent the next few moments in the hallway, reading and matching each others timetables to see which classes we had together. It turned out I had three out of six classes with Josh, one with Jake, and the remaining two by myself. We had history together first, so Josh showed me the way to our classroom.

"Mr. Marmos is kind of a dick, so don't take anything too personally," Josh warned me, as we turned the corner into the empty classroom. 

We took two seats across from each other near the middle edge of the classroom, and I anxiously took out a notebook and pen. Josh plodded a textbook on my desk too which I thanked him for, while watching the rest of the class file in through the front door.

Eventually, a man in his mid-fourties wandered into the class, placing his briefcase on his desk and addressed the class.

"Welcome back everyone, how was your winter break?" He asked. There was a hum of responses while he opened his briefcase and took out a few essentials, squinting and readjusting his glasses as he looked at one paper in particular.

"It seems we have a new student joining us from Australia today," he said scanning the room. My heart thrummed in my chest. The last thing I wanted was to be put on the spot. The class erupted in whispers and murmurs as everyones eyes landed on me.

"Welcome to Frankenmuth, Layla, it's nice to meet you," Mr. Marmos said to me politely with a curt smile on his lips.

"Thank you," I said, letting my hair fall over the sides of my face in an attempt to conceal it from prying eyes.

"What part of Australia are you from?" He asked. I took a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to get on with the lesson.

"I'm from Sydney, in um New South Wales," I replied shyly.

One of the boys in front of me, who was twisted in his seat to look at me laughed obnoxiously, "G'Day mate." His friends all laughed loudly too, adding other embarrassing comments, "Yeah, can you say shrimp on the barbie?"

The only humerus part of their antics was the ridiculous sound of their Michigan accents saying typically Australian sayings. "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie," another boy yelled out. My face burned and my nails dug into my palms as I tried to distract myself, willing the colour to leave my face to not further my embarrassment.

I literally wanted to curl into the smallest ball and decompose into the earth below me. I wanted to be sucked into a black hole and taken to the depths of the universe. Anything. Anything if it meant getting out of this horrendously embarrassing interaction.

I knew that coming to another country would not only be strange for me, but for the locals, however as kind as their intentions may be, their jokes were mortifying.

I sat quietly a tight lipped smile on my face, peeking at Josh who looked at me with concern.

"Alright, alright thats enough," Mr. Marmos called out, effectively silencing the class. The boy in front of me shot a cocky wink my way before twisting back in his seat and listening to the teacher.

"Australias' involvement in the First World War is very interesting actually, the ANZAC's..." Mr. Marmos started.

As the rest of the lesson droned on, I shook out my aching hand, momentarily breaking from my furious note taking. We had covered World War One back home already, but there were case studies and specifics that I was positively lost on. I sighed, knowing I was going to have a lot of homework to do.

The bell rang throughout the classroom, and I copied as students clambered their things together, and rose from my seat. Josh joined my side as we walked towards the classroom door, "Thanks Sir!" I called out before exiting.

"Very polite of you," Josh said, looking at me funnily. 

I furrowed my eyebrows "Oh, is that not normal?" I asked nervously.

He chuckled, "No, not really.. but I'm sure he appreciated it." I took a deep breath and shook my shoulders out. "So, what did you think? How was your first lesson? You sure are popular already," he joked, nudging my side as we walked own the corridor towards the lunch hall.

I ran a hand own the side of my face, "Yeah, it was alright, I've just got a lot of stuff to do when I get home... and that whole thing at the start of the lesson was soo embarrassing," I said nudging him back with a little bit more force. He stumbled to the side a bit, smiling widely at me.

"You might have to get used to it, New Girl," he nudged me harder and I stumbled to the side, tripping into a taller girl who looked about our age. The books and papers she had cradled to her chest went flying onto the floor on impact and I immediately dropped to my knees to help pick them up.

"I'm so, so sorry, are you okay?" I asked, looking up at her. Her thick, dark fringe was framed by her wavy bangs, locks of hair falling around her tanned shoulders. She was a very pretty girl, and she smiled when she looked up at me.

"No you're okay, I'm fine! I haven't seen you around, are you new here?" She asked, gathering her things into a pile in her hands.

"Yeah I am, it's nice to meet you, I'm Layla," I said smiling brightly. It was probably very obvious to Josh, who was hovering next to us, that I was trying very hard to make a friend.

"I'm Aanya," she replied, "I'll see you around, Layla." Next thing I knew, she was wandering off down the halls again. Looking back at Josh, he smiled and threw his arm over my shoulders, leaning in close to my ear.

"Very popular," he drawled out. His voice sparked a twist of feeling in my stomach momentarily, before I shook it off and followed his lead to the food hall.

The rest of the day played out exactly as I'd assumed. Each class started with some recognition of my nationality, before everyone lost interest and I was bombarded with far too much work to catch up on. 

Piles upon piles of past papers were given to me by teachers, along with strict instructions of how much of each syllabus point I needed to catch up on. My bag weighed a ton, and I had almost 6 textbooks cradled in my arms as I went about my day.

Thankfully Josh met me after every class to walk me to my next one, including those that we didn't have together, and the one time he wasn't there, Jake was instead. I appreciated the support immensely.

By the end of the day, I was positively burnt out. My feet dragged as I slumbered out of the building towards Josh's car. All four boys were already there, waiting for me as I climbed into the passenger seat.

Pain radiated through my left thigh, which only got worse throughout the day as my bag got heavier and classes got longer.

Exhaustion from socialising and the mental stress of schoolwork hit me as I buckled my seatbelt, wanting nothing more than to go home and sleep for the rest of the year.

"Long day?" Jake asked, his head leaned so far forward, it was practically on my shoulder. I couldn't even find it in me to be surprised at his proximity. I only groaned and slumped further in my seat, rubbing my thigh with my thumb in attempt to ease the tension in the area, but I knew the ache was so deep that I could never aid it without some kind of pain relief.

"So tired," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes with my other hand. Paired with the overwhelming day, getting up as early as I did in the morning from a nightmare did not help.

I heard Josh get into the drivers seat beside me. "I'm sorry, I'll come over to give you my notes tonight, hopefully that helps... And if you, uh, need any more help...with anything, you can just text me and I'll come over," his voice sincere.

There was a beat of silence, broken by someone clearing their throat in the backseat. I peeled my eyes open and watched as Josh started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Thank you," I said. He looked over at me and I could have sworn that the smile he wore looked slightly pained.

Josh walked me to my door once we stopped at my house, and wrapped me in a bone crushing hug, swaying side to side at the threshold of my front door.

I felt mildly embarrassed. It must have been blatantly obvious how exhausted I was.

"Have some rest, I'll see you later tonight to give you my notes from last year," he said letting go and smoothing down some hair on the side of my head.

That familiar feeling returned in my stomach, "Thanks, Josh, you really helped me today," I said, offering him a quick, sincere smile. "See you in a bit."

Returning the smile, he wandered back down the steps and into the car to drive a measly 10 metres down the road.

I stepped into the house, shrugging off my coat and shoes by the threshold, before walking down to the living room, where the back of Dads head was visible over the couch.

"Hi Dad."

"Hey sweetie, how was your first day?" He asked twisting towards me.

I contemplated my response for a few moments, "Yeah it was great, lots of...fun" I cringed slightly, hoping my lies weren't noticeable.

"I'm glad," he replied, turning back to his phone, and I took that as my cue to head upstairs.

I took a long, warm, comfortable shower, before climbing into my warmest pyjamas. The weight in my limbs was unbearable, and I had little to no memory of unpacking my bag, switching off the light and climbing into bed.

A long day. Thats what it felt like. That's all it was. Nothing inherently went wrong to make it a 'bad day' but it was just long. I missed home. I wanted to go home.

The taste of salt on my lips was the first indication of my silent tears, which I hadn’t even feel fall. And as I lay there, cradling my sore leg, I allowed myself a moment of selfish pity and released the flood gates, sobbing silently into my pillow.

I was an absolute wreck. An awestruck wreck.

I had never responded to a girl this way. I mean, yes, I'd had silly crushes and things but I'd never felt so strongly for anyone.

Her laugh was like the music I yearned for, sweet and melodic, and every inch of me wanted to write it as a song. The song of her voice and her mind. So beautiful.

Every time our hands touched, tingles, like a pleasant version of pins and needles erupted in my palm. I couldn't tell what was weirder, finding small ways to touch and hold her hands, if even for a moment, or my quick retraction when I caught my own impulsivity.

My mind was running in circles and it was killing me. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I thought of her when I woke, when I ate breakfast, when I wrote and played music, and she was always the last thing on my mind before I slept.

Not that I had been getting much sleep anyway, I was up nearly all night, every night, looking for the words to an unwritten song. Her song.

Rushing into my room, I spared no words to my family and began rummaging through my desk for all my past papers and notebooks. After attaining a large pile, I skimmed through the pages, cringing at my messy handwriting and comparing it to her neat ones I saw in class today. It would have to do.

I knew she was tired and most definitely burnt out. It was the only way I knew how to lesson her load.

I peeked out my bedroom window through to hers and was met with the usual warm glow emanating from her thin, white curtains. I eagerly hopped down the stairs and sauntered to the front door.

"Josh honey! Where are you going, you just got back?" Mums voice cut me short.

I held up the notebooks and waved them in the air, "Dropping off some school stuff at Layla's."

She eyed me suspiciously, a smirk playing on her face, before raising her eyebrows, "Okay...tell Layla I say ‘hello’..."

I rolled my eyes, sighing as I cocked my head to the left, "Mum, please."

She feigned a look of shock and offence, putting her hand flat to her chest, "I didn't say anything!"

Huffing, I walked out the front door, hugging my jumper closer to me in reaction to the cold bite of fresh air. It was particularly cold this winter, and I had researched the weather in Sydney after Layla left the day I met her; I didn’t think I'd ever know how she managed to change such dramatic climates so quickly.

The sun had began to set, leaving the sky a greyish blue with a purple hue. Usually it would take much longer to get dark, but being winter, it felt like you could only blink after waking in the morning, and it was night again.

Once I'd made my way up the short path to her house, I rapped my knuckles on the front door three times and waited patiently for a response.

The door swung open to reveal Layla's Dad, a tall, stocky man. He had stubble coating his jaw, a bit of a beer belly, though he was still a very kind man. But, I could tell that if he wanted to, he could beat the crap out of you.

"Hi Mr. King, I'm just here to drop off some notes for Layla, she should be expecting me."

He scoffed, "Call me David please, you make me feel like an old grump with that Mr blah blah." He shook his head, clearing his throat, "But yeah she should be in her room." I smiled politely, waiting for him to make way for me to head to her room, but he hesitated.

We stood there, face to face for another moment before he spoke. "Thank you Josh, for being there for her and.. helping her like this. I don't think you understand how much it means to have someone there for her.. thats not, you know, her Dad," he let out a short laugh.

Relief flooded through me at his words, "Of course. Layla is amazing, you raised a great woman," I replied. He smiled warmly at me, pride overtaking his attitude before opening the door wider and stepping aside. I gave him one more smile before stepping into the house and looking up the dark stairway .

I hugged the books closer to my chest with my left hand, my right clinging onto the railing in the dark. As I clambered up the steps, the second level came into view, and consistently, no lights were on there either. Only a small warm glow from inside Layla's room.

Expecting another step and tripping slightly at the feeling of flat round, I regained my composure and began making my way down the dark hallway, following the illuminated doorway to her room.

Once I was at her bedroom door, the sight I beheld stopped me in my tracks. A few boxes still littered her bedroom floor, but otherwise, her room was practically set up. In the corner, Layla lay on her plush white bedsheets in a deep red sweater and a blanket tucked up to her waist. Her whole body was wrapped around a single pillow, cradling it tightly and fast asleep.

Soft purrs left her lips in her slumber, as my eyes immediately narrowed down on the tear stains marked on her cheeks. My eyebrows furrowed at the sight and I felt my heart ache painfully. We had only been back from school for 20 odd minutes. Did something happen?

I gingerly stepped towards her vanity, painfully aware of the noises my jacket was making with every twist my body took, until I slowly lowered the books down onto her desk.

On my right, Layla sniffled and my head whipped towards her, the rest of my body going deathly still. I watched, strained as she pursed her lips and shuffled in her spot, melting into her pillows. The left side of her body hung out of the sheets and I could see the faint trickle of goosebumps on her wrist where her sweater had rolled up.

I stretched my empty palms out beside my and sighed deeply, reaching over to her bed to stretch the duvet cover over he body completely. I made sure it was snug against her sides and there were no gaps, before wrapping another fluffy blanket that she had piled at the bottom of her bed over her too.

Pulling away, I fiddled for the switch of her bedside lamp before feeling the plastic in between my fingers and switching off the light.

Finally, I made my way to her bedroom door, looking back at her one last time, her face now only seen by the glow of the moonlight outside. So beautiful. I felt my stomach churn and I cringed at the thought of her crying. Crying herself to sleep. Alone.

Blowing out a breath, I stepped out of the room and pulled her door closed, not bothering with clicking it the full way in fear of waking her.

As I bid my thanks and goodbye to Layla's Dad and made my short walk home, a caravel of worries and thoughts flooded my mind; I knew what I needed to do.

[drbased]

Your last two theory posts are absolutely fascinating and I'd love to read more on this subject from you, it really resonated with me. My father started getting radicalised online during lockdown, he's now a Q anon, a climatosceptic and a antivax amongst other things. I saw the man who taught me tolerance and acceptance become extremely racist, antisemitic, homophobic and most of all misogynistic over a few years (even tho he has two daughters, one being out as a lesbian. And his family having been subjected to horrible racism in his youth when he immigrated from Algeria) and it has utterly destroyed our relationship. We're no better than acquaintances now.

The biggest shift of all was how he went from an agnostic antitheist to a Christian during lockdown, then shifting again to a weird neutral stance I can't really explain. He says he's against all organized religion and authority (just so we're perfectly clear, I don't believe that for a second), but at the same time he has started seeing everything through the lens of Christianity (which was a big factor in how antisemitic he suddenly got). What I mean by that is that satanism in particular has become the central point of his whole philosophy. Everything is about the devil now. He told me I was supporting satanism as a horror movie fan, but also as a woman who supports femen activists. He thought the Olympics opening Ceremony was about Satan. Every single movie has a hidden message about Satan. He also notably started becoming a weird fan of psychiatry (my mum is a psychiatric nurse and an amazing one at that, she is very knowledgeable about these things) and started diagnosing random politicians and celebrities with "conditions" he made up which STRANGELY, have very demonic symptoms according to him.

[content warning ⚠️⬇️]

If I said everything I have to say about how the satanic panic got to him I would write for 4 hours. This has completely uphanded his life. Obviously like many like him, everything is about pedophilia too. The two are obviously linked. His new theory is that the president of our country (Emmanuel Macron) was raped when he was a newborn by his current wife (who is actually a man according to him) and it affected his brain which allows a secret organisation in the shadows to control him 👍 and also it's all about Satan too how could it not.

This whole thing has genuinely ruined my family, and he has been relentlessly trying to convert us and prove to us that these theories are real. This has not worked out great for him as his four children pretty much gave up on him. And the worst part is that I'm sure that our collective reaction and repulsion has only cemented his convictions. Because people like him love to feel oppressed and silenced.

I'm gonna be honest I completely forgot where I was going with this, I typed way more than what I planned. (Sorry for any mistakes English isn't my mother tongue)

I think feminists need to talk more about these conspiracy theories (at least I'd like to feel a bit less crazy, because I only hear about this from him and all that gross stuff he talks about like it's nothing is getting to me) and I was so relieved when I saw your posts! I was like omg I hear about that subject from someone who actually makes sense. If you have any recommendations of things to read, listen to or watch on this subject I'd love that and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Love your blog btw! Sorry for the long ask. Have a great day 💜

No worries about the long ask! I love reading other people's perspectives and experiences. And I wouldn't have guessed english isn't your first language; the only thing I noticed is that you wrote 'uphanded' when I think it should be 'upended'.

This is such a lovely ask to recieve! Whilst I love writing and analysing there's always a small part of me that thinks, ok, this specific thing I wrote is totally bunk, nobody's gonna wanna read this. So it's wonderful to recieve such recognition, especially not on anon (no shade to the anons though!)

'His new theory is that the president of our country (Emmanuel Macron) was raped when he was a newborn by his current wife (who is actually a man according to him) and it affected his brain which allows a secret organisation in the shadows to control him 👍 and also it's all about Satan too how could it not.' whaaaaat? Is that an existing theory or something he invented? I can see like three different patriarchal fears in that:

that 'leftist' men are a corruption of healthy masculinity

that men are corrupted by women's sexual violence (patriarchal reversal)

transphobia stemming from a conflation of homosexuality and femaleness as inherently linked; the ultimate in male emasculation and humiliation is the idea of the masculinised woman who dominates him

I grew up with conspiracy theories so I have some understanding of how they create a simplistic narrative out of the complexity and inherent unfairness of life. I always recommend Innuendo Studios' youtube series The Alt-Right Playbook as it was instrumental to me in gaining an understanding of how the right-wing mind works, but on this subject I recommend in particular the video 'You can't get snakes from chicken eggs'. The commentary that really resonated with me is relevant to phrase 'a lie is halfway around the world before truth gets its boots on': a lie can always be percieved - and communicated - much more simply than the truth, so it spreads easier and faster. And conspiracy theories are a way of both simplifying down the narrative into good vs evil, but also adding complexity to fill in all the obvious gaps - e.g., since there's no proof satan exists, but we need him to exist, there becomes an addiction-like obsession with trying to seek patterns that 'prove' he exists.

I can't remember where I read/heard it, but one of the psychological benefits of believing in conspiracies is that you get a gamification of life that generates a community - qanon with his 'q drops' has perfected this process: small bits of incoherent babble alluding to something are drip-fed to the community, who get to decode it in real time. The collective narrative-making is exhillarating, especially in a world with a fragmented culture and isolated people with diminishing 'third spaces'. And I know from personal experiences that one satisfaction from being a conspiracy theorist is that you get to 'achieve' something by doing absolutely nothing; you don't have to be any sort of activist or help people in the real world: since it's all information 'they don't want you to know', simply knowing the information is all that is needed for you to feel accomplished. I would definitely put 'conspiracy theorist' into my 'symbolic states' category because it's so transparently about placing a narrative layer over reality.

It's really sad what's happened to your dad; I imagine it would be incredibly painful seeing someone you love lose touch with reality so violently like that. And I believe you're right; that your collective response to him will only have strengthened his convictions. It reminds me of how it's been shown that door-to-door preaching is terrible at actually converting people, but instead is more useful to cement bonds between the group members as social outcasts. And conspiracy theorists basically pride themselves on being the pariahs who see the truth no one else dares to see.

[kirbudo]

Knowledge is cursed

Small change, M/n is the same year as the twins. For plot reasons, since I realized Percy graduates. And the age difference.

And also, because it is canon that the twins tend to bully M/n.

TW: bullying and meltdown

Tag List: @jasperthechaosgremlin @peter-the-pan

M/n sighed bitterly as his eyes gazed over everything tiredly. Had he lost touch with himself? No, rather he felt everything too much. After the small crying session with Hagrid, he felt slightly better. The kind man expressing that he should get some help and that he would lend an ear if anything. He hugged the books closer to him. "I need to change where I hide." He whispered to himself.

The twins hung their heads as the sound of Percy shouts made them quiet and no longer smiling. "You two are ridiculously stupid!" He snapped slamming his hand on the desk for more effect. "We didn't know!" Fred spoke in a whisper. "That he'd react that way!" George mimicked but he made sure to look away. "Promise!" They both shouted, in regret. Percy scowled as he shook his head, the trouble trio watched in silence. "I've told you two to stop it! God knows when he snaps!" Percy shouts in worry. His eyes showing great grief and worry over their brother.

The twins glanced at each other. Worry filled their minds. "What do you mean?" The asked as Percy looked close to tears. "Enough... Get out." He turned his back and went into his room. Ron peered over seeing the two whispering before walking out. "Ron, I think you should check on your brother." Harry spoke up as the red head shook his head. "No, mum says that I shouldn't get close to him while here. She's worried that if I bother him too much then he'll turn into a dark wizard."

Ron paused. "... But he has always been nice to me." Harry and Hermione stared at each other. "Ron, I think the way you're treating M/n... Is a bit abusive." Ron stared in shock at Harry. "What? No! We love him, were just Gryffindor and he's just a Ravenclaw." The two friends stared at each other.

M/n walked down the halls trying to find a good place to find. He thought he was fat enough that his siblings wouldn't find him. He huddled himself into a small corner. The dictionary that his father gave him had yet been read, it was better to read such a book alone as the thought of the precious book being taken from him was hurtful.

"Look, it's the black sheep Weasley." Draco had noticed the older male's cowering. He decided that the teen was a good target, if he couldn't target the trouble trio then it's better to hit those around them. The two goons cackled as Draco went to grab things from the red head but he didn't get any reaction as they destroyed his things. This annoyed Malfoy who saw him hug the muggle book.

M/n eyes widened as it was snacked away from him, the two goons held him back as Draco ripped every page out. His eyes filled with tears as Draco discovered a weakness. Digging through his satchels, he found more muggle book. "This is disgusting. How could you even think of carrying this around in Hogwarts of all places." He ripped them apart.

"No! Please, my dad gave me those!" He spoke not once of raising his voice but as time went on, a small crowd formed, mostly Slytherin... Then a few of his house mates watch... Then some gathered around to watch in shock. "You vile son of a bitch!" M/n Weasley shouted through tears as he thrashed against the two holding him. "I'll kill you! I'll kill everyone that ever loved you! How dare you ruin those?! They were mines!" He shouted making his voice go raw.

Draco stared in shock. Everyone did.

"Percy! Hurry! Draco is bullying M/n!" A fellow year maybe shouted grabbing him by his sleeve, Percy didn't hesitate to run full speed. The twins looked at each other before following after hearing from cackling Slytherin. The trio grew concerned at the shouting and crowd before Ron dropped his things hearing his brother screams.

The brothers stared in shock at the crying and unstable M/n. Who was finally let go after growing tired. "No... No. No. No." M/n sobbed out trying to put the pages back together, some of the pages burnt but she didn't care that his fingertips were nearly burnt. "No, dad I'm sorry... I should've... I didn't mean... Dad... Dad.." His cries made everyone stop, those who did nothing starting to feel guilty, some not wanting to watch anymore quickly left. Draco swallowed his saliva. "I wanna... Go home." He whispered.

Draco heard this, he was about to reach Weasley to say something... "Get away from him!" Percy shouted shoving him away. Draco stared... Harry ran over, glaring at him. "Go. You've done enough." Draco didn't have the energy to talk back as the two goons dragged Draco away.

"Percy... I didn't mean to... Dad's gift... He tried so hard to get me these... They're gone." M/n clung to Percy who hugged him tightly, rocking back and forth. "George, Fred! Go get McGonagall!" Her ordered. "You three, clean this up." Ron was about to whine but Hermione covered his mouth and nodded. "I... I want dad..."

After many attempts, Percy got M/n to go to the infirmary, Miss Humphrey was quick to take him and treat his burns. McGonagall rushed to the infirmary and listened to Percy speak about what happened. M/n was still sobbing trying to calm himself down with the help of the kind yet stern nurse. "I want... My dad." He repeated until he grew tired from sleeping...

Did I mention I like angst? Pure love for it.

[hummingbird-of-light]

In Our Favor

Part 275

McCoy

Leah sighed before she looked out over the bay.

“I’ll tell Father you’re doing fine here,” she said quietly. “That there isn’t anything to worry about.

McCoy kept from showing any surprise. He knew it was Leah’s way of apologizing for overstepping and looking up Aporal’s background.

“Thank you.”

“He’ll want a report from Andre about this weekend as well,” Leah continued. “And the undercover team.” She said the last part even quieter.

“I’m sure Andre already reported about Aporal when we went to Andoria,” McCoy said equally quiet.

Leah sighed again.

“What?” McCoy asked.

“I was going to ask you something else, but it’s probably none of my business again,” Leah said, chagrined.

“Oh?” McCoy said, lifting an eyebrow.

Leah nodded, then gestured quickly at Jaylah. “I was going to ask if they were together, but nevermind.”

McCoy chuckled. “Go ahead and ask. We honestly don’t know. But whatever they are is good for each other.”

Leah gave a quick smile. “Come on, we don’t have much more time here, let’s enjoy it with everyone.” She gave a quick tug on his sleeve, and McCoy followed her back towards Francine.

McCoy looked around and saw Robbie heading towards Scotty who was discussing something with Granddad. They were looking towards the bridge and Scotty was gesturing quite a bit. McCoy couldn’t help but smile.

They moved on, taking their time strolling through the park around the bridge. Scotty was back with McCoy and he could sense that his husband and brother in law had made up. He didn’t like to see the pair argue but he knew how infrequently it happened.

Jaylah and Aporal left as they grew closer to campus. McCoy and Scotty were going to accompany the family back to their hotel and have a quick lunch. Aporal hadn’t been back to his room since the day before, though apparently someone had brought him fresh clothes while he was still in the hospital.

McCoy smiled to himself to think of Aporal being comfortable enough with Jaylah that he’d let her in his room and into his closet. Though, if they were together was that so strange? No. McCoy decided not to wonder about it anymore. They could just be what they wanted to be and if they were happy, that was the most important thing.

“Well he’s a good lad then isn’t he?” Francine asked as they continued on towards the hotel. She looked after the departing couple.

“He is,” Scotty said quickly.

“He’s loyal and protective,” McCoy added, stealing a glance at Leah.

“But full of himself eh,” Granddad said.

“That’s just how he is,” Scotty said. “He doesn’t mean to offend.”

“Jaylah picked a good one then,” Francine stated. “Such a glow about them. To be young and in love,” she said with a dreamy sigh.

McCoy bumped Scotty’s arm with his elbow. Should they say something or let it be?

“They might be just friends Mum,” Scotty said slowly. “They’ve nae said anything about being anything else.”

“They’ll figure it out then,” Francine said. “Let’s go get a bite and sup before we’ve got to be saying goodbyes.” Francine blinked quickly as if she were holding back tears.

“That’s a great idea,” Leah agreed and linked her arm with Francine’s as they led the way.

Part 276

Scotty

They had lunch at the hotel's restaurant. That way Francine and the others could all gather their things quickly and head to the shuttle port afterwards.

Scotty was really glad that Robbie and him had had another talk. His little brother had apologized for sticking his nose into Aporal's past and he had said that Aporal and him had talked it out. If Scotty and Leonard were going to trust Aporal, then so would Robbie and Leah.

Leonard too looked way more relaxed after his talk with his sister. Maybe the guards wouldn't need to stay for too much longer. The Scotsman was quite sure that it would be a big relief to Leonard.

As Scotty came to think of it, they hadn't heard too much about the rebels after the attack on Leah had happened. Maybe the king's reaction had actually stopped further protests. They could only hope so.

"Oh, I'll miss ye so much!"

Francine hugged all of the youngsters quite tightly as they said their goodbyes. The tears that had just been waiting to come, finally streamed down her cheeks and the woman didn't want to let go.

"Aye, a mhàthair. We'll miss ye too. But... we can always call," Robbie chuckled softly when it was his turn to get squeezed.

"Then call! Don't just say that ye will! Ye don't nearly call often enough," Francine scolded him, but it wasn't too serious.

"Aye, mum."

"And ye too!" Francine turned around to point a finger at her eldest son and Scotty nodded.

"Will do, mum."

Granddad was next to hug everyone. He wasn't nearly as sentimental as his daughter-in-law, but he nevertheless held them all quite tightly too.

"Francine! Francine, wait!"

Everyone was surprised to hear a familar voice and Scotty chuckled to himself as he saw a certain blond lad running towards them. He waved his hand at them from afar.

"Jim!" Francine exclaimed, eyes wide and it didn't take too long for Jim to fall into her arms.

"Took ye long enough, lad," Scotty said. He had sent Jim a message saying when Francine and Alasdair's flight would take off for he had known that the blond wanted to say goodbye too.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I slept in late and then my alarm didn't go off and..." Jim started to explain, out of breath, and Francine just chuckled softly, patting his shoulder.

"It's fine, it's fine. Ye are here. That's all that matters."

"I wanted to wave you off," Jim said, then looked over at Granddad, Robbie and Leah. "All of you."

"Sure, Jim. As if this isn't just about Francine," Leah said with a smirk and Jim grinned at her.

"You know me so well."

They all laughed.

"It really was a nice week. Thank ye all for making this a lovely trip to San Francisco. Tell all yer friends our best regards."

Scotty nodded.

"We'll make sure to let them know. Thank you for coming," Leonard said.

When all of their visitors had left, Scotty, Leonard and Jim slowly made their way back to the academy. Francine was right. It really had been a nice week. And Scotty really hoped that from now on every birthday of his would be an happy affair and that he would slowly forget about what had happened on his 18th birthday. He glanced at Leonard and smiled. With his husband's help it surely would work out.

[foundtherightwords]

The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 6

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.  

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: discussion of parental neglect/parentification

Chapter word count: 4.1k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

Chapter 6 - Christmas

As Esme had predicted, her parents didn't care about Billy's condition at all. But then again, she had never worried about that. If anything, her worries were the opposite—that her parents would be too nice to Billy and smother him with their affection. On Christmas Eve, she called them again to run through a list of do's and don'ts that she'd compiled.

"Please don't whisper around him, that'll make him paranoid. And don't shout either. I know you can get very loud when you're excited, Dad. Oh, you do. Please just remember to tone it down a bit. And please, please, Mum, don't ask him a million questions, and if he doesn't want to say something, please don't make up an answer for him. Don't make up stories about him or put him into one of your books."

Mum took offense at that. "Darling, when I do put someone into my book, I only use them as inspiration, you know that!" she said. "They never recognize themselves."

Yeah, like I didn't recognize myself, thought Esme bitterly, but she only said, "I'd know, alright? He's had a very tough life, he's not a source of inspiration for you."

"All right, Esme, we'll be on our best behavior," Dad assured her.

"And please do a normal Christmas dinner for once. None of your weird foods or experimental cuisine."

"We promise."

But Esme still didn't quite believe that they would keep their promise. It wasn't that they were malicious or deceptive, they were just terribly scatterbrained and it would slip their minds. So just to be on the safe side, she made a Christmas pudding with some brandy butter and brought it along. She was determined to give Billy a proper taste of Christmas, even if her parents fell through.

She had also told Billy that if he wasn't feeling up to it, he could change his mind about the visit or leave early. But he seemed quite calm when they met at the train station—calmer than Esme herself, at any rate. He only showed a bit of nervousness when he held out a package. "I know you said I don't have to bring presents," he said. "But I made these. Are they OK?"

It was a set of wooden cooking spoons, their handles carved with leafy vines and flowers, almost Art Nouveau in style. Just the day before, when he dropped by the clinic, Billy had given her a similar present—only hers were six measuring cups, and carved with what was easily recognizable was Angua and her five pups. They were almost too cute to be used.

"Oh, Billy, these are beautiful," she exclaimed over the spoons. "They'll love it. But—"

"What?"

"My parents don't really cook." That wasn't entirely true. "And when they do, they wouldn't use fancy spoons such as these." That part was true. Dad, the cook in the family, was the type who viewed recipes as more of a guideline, and to him, anything could be used as a kitchen utensil if you were determined enough. But Billy looked so crestfallen that Esme's soft heart took over. "You can still give them those though. They're so beautiful, my parents will probably put them on display or something." 

His face brightened up. "You sure?"

"Of course!"

As they got off the train at Rochester, Esme saw a familiar figure waiting outside the station by her parents' old car. "That's my sister, Sybil," she said to Billy.

"Photographer, lives in Edinburgh, right?"

Esme nodded, just as Sybil ran up to her and wrapped her in a bear hug. "Hiya, big sis!" She bent down to Angua. "And this must be Angua! Let's see if we can find her a Carrot, yeah?" Sybil was the one blessed with looks in the family. Esme's soft and rounded profile made her look meek and sometimes dumpy, as she was wont to describe herself, while Sybil was all sharp angles and delicate, elfin features, made all the more striking by her short black hair. But as the sister closest to Esme in age—only two years younger—she was also the closest Esme had to an ally in the family.

Esme introduced Billy. Sybil shook his hand, then whispered loudly to Esme, "He's cute, sis!"

"You have a girlfriend, Sibby," Esme chided, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I'm allowed to appreciate beauty, am I not?"

"Don't mind her," Esme told Billy, who was looking like his whole face was on fire. "She's a terrible flirt."

On the drive from the station to their parents' house, Sybil insisted on making a detour to show Billy some of the sights. "That's where Charles Dickens used to live," she would say, or "That's the house used as the model for Miss Havisham's house in Great Expectations." Meanwhile, Esme became more and more aware of a permeating stink in the car, a nauseating mix of manure and decaying flesh. By the crinkle of his nose, she was sure Billy had noticed it as well but was too polite to say anything. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore and asked, "Sibby, what's that smell?"

"What smell?" Sybil replied. "Oh, in the car? That'll be the lamb."

For a second, Esme thought it was her younger siblings' stupid idea of a prank. "What lamb?"

"The lamb for our dinner." Sybil chuckled to herself. "So Dad saw this chap on TV making this thing called '24-hour lamb', right, and he wanted to recreate it, so yesterday he and I went to pick up a freshly slaughtered lamb from some lady he knows who has a farm. Had to drive all the way down to Lydd too."

Esme exchanged a look with Billy and groaned inwardly. Either her dad had forgotten his promise to do a "normal" dinner, or this was his idea of normal. She didn't know which was worse.

"What on earth is a '24-hour lamb'?" Billy chimed in.

"You dig a hole in the ground, start a fire in there, put some damp straw on top, then you put a lamb in and cover it up and leave it there for 24 hours," said Sybil, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Supposedly the meat will just fall off the bones."

Billy turned to Esme with a raise of his eyebrow, either of curiosity or concern, but Esme only shook her head hopelessly. "Don't get your hopes up," she told him. "Knowing my dad, you'll be too busy picking bits of straw and dirt out of it to enjoy it. That is if it's even edible."

"Oh, don't worry about that," Sybil said over her shoulder. "It'll turn out fine."

Esme wanted to point out the many times Dad's experiments had, in fact, not turned out fine, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle and had no choice but to resign to what fate, or rather, her family had in store for her.

***

Finally, they arrived at the cottage that Esme's parents had chosen to settle down in seventeen years ago, a low, rambling building with a sagging roof and whitewashed brick walls that were usually hidden under a curtain of clematis and wisteria in the summer, and even now, still retained a certain romantic air thanks to a web of skeletal vines. A sprawling garden surrounded it.

Sybil parked the car out front and they all went in. The front door was pushed open with some difficulty, and it soon became clear why—jackets and scarves and wellies and umbrellas were piled up in a corner of the front hall, just behind the door, nearly obscuring the floor tiles. Esme was appalled to see Sybil casually kick the pile to the side before adding her own jacket and scarf to it. With a sigh, Esme picked the pile up and tried to sort it out, but there was no place to put the clothes except for a long dresser, and this was already covered in mail. She attempted to clear off the letters and flyers and parcels, but her hands were full of clothes.

"Oh, Esme, get off it," Sybil said, not turning around. "You know that once you leave, it'll just get messy again."

Billy stepped in. "Here," he said, putting the post into a tottering stack, leaving some room on top of the dresser for Esme to put the clothes down into a vague semblance of order. She gave him a grateful smile.

The house seemed deserted, but they could hear excited voices from the back. "They must be in the garden, digging up the lamb," Sybil said.

While they followed her through the house, Billy grabbed Esme's hand and whispered, "Relax." She nodded uncertainly.

The back garden was as unkempt as the rest of the house. For some, the place might look picturesque, with the bare tree limbs and raggedy bramble bushes forming a perfectly muted background for the bright red and orange of the holly and firethorn berries, but for Esme, it just brought back memories of getting scratched by stray branches and fending off the bugs that bred like mad under the cover of the thickets. The only place that looked like it had some attention was the shed at the bottom of the garden, where her dad did his glassblowing.

Four people were gathered in front of the shed, looking intently at something on the ground and arguing amongst themselves. "I'm telling you, Dad, it's not ready yet!" This was Tiffany, shaking her head of bright magenta hair.

Sam and Dad were both waving their long, gangly arms in front of her, looking like two windmills in dispute. "But it's called 24-hour lamb, and it's been 24 hours!" Dad said.

"Yeah, it may be burned, Tiff!" Sam always took Dad's side in every argument.

Mum looked up and saw Sybil striding toward them, with Esme and Billy trailing behind. Her face broke into a smile, and she ran to them with her arms wide open. Before anyone could open their mouth, Mum had engulfed first Esme, then Billy in a tight hug. Only after she'd let a startled Billy go that she seemed to remember herself. "Oh I'm so sorry," she said. "I should've asked if you'd like a hug first, shouldn't I?"

"No, it's alright," Billy managed to say. "Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Pendergast."

"Please, call me Ivy. It's lovely to meet you too, Billy. Hello, you," this was to Esme, along with a pinch of her cheek.

"Hi, Mum." Out of all the kids, Esme was the one that resembled their mum the most, at least in terms of their physical traits—the same dark hair and hazel eyes, the same soft features—and yet the way they carried themselves was so different that most people didn't pick up on their resemblance right away. Mum filled every space she was in with big, exuberant gestures, and even her hair was always loose, flying all over the place, while Esme always hung back, kept still, trying to make herself smaller and unnoticed, her hair in a neat, tight French braid.

She introduced her dad, Tiffany, and Sam. Their greetings were no less enthusiastic than Mum's, but Esme was glad when they didn't heap their attention on Billy, instead turning toward the mound of dirt on the ground. "Ever had salt-marsh lamb, Billy?" Dad asked. "Sorry, do you eat meat? I forgot to check with Esme."

"I still don't think it's ready," Tiffany said.

"But I'm hungry," whined Sam.

"Esme brought a pudding," Sybil said. "Eat that if you can't wait."

"No!" Esme shouted. "That's for later!"

She recognized in Billy the nonplussed but amused look people often had when they met her family for the first time, as he answered Dad, "Um, yes. No. I mean, I do eat meat, but I've never had salt-marsh lamb."

"Great! This will be your first taste then! Sam, fetch me the spade."

Under six pairs of watchful eyes, seven if you count Angua, Dad uncovered the mound of dirt with the solemn air of one of the Sutton Hoo excavators. Esme expected a plume of smoke, a cloud of steam, or the smell of cooking meat, to come out, but there was nothing, except for the smell of dirt and that stink she'd smelled in the car, getting stronger and stronger the further down the spade went. Dad, however, didn't seem to notice anything wrong.

"Aha!" he exclaimed triumphantly as he unearthed a blackened lump in the shape of... yes, the shape of a whole lamb. Billy turned away, his face turning a worrying shade of green.

"That looks... that looks raw, Dad," Sam said, as Dad scraped away some of the soot and ashes and opened the piece of burlap wrapped around the lamb.

"How can it be raw?!" Dad roared.

But if the smell was any indication, the lamb was indeed raw. And, to further drive home the point, Angua took an appreciative sniff and bounded forward, ready to sink her teeth into the haunch of raw sheep. "Angua, no!!!" Esme shouted and pulled her back, just in time.

She looked around at her family. Mum was shaking her head. Dad was red-faced and scraping in vain at the hole, trying to figure out where it had gone wrong. Her younger siblings were trying to suppress laughter, but a narrow glance from Esme sobered them up. Billy was still looking queasy. Her heart sank. He probably thinks we're all a bunch of ghouls.

"Dad, leave it," she said, trying to keep her voice calm. "Mum, what are we going to do for dinner? Do we have anything else in the house?"

A panicked look crossed Mum's face, as if someone had just asked her to recite the first 100 digits of pi from memory.

"Are you telling me that this—lamb—was going to be our entire dinner?" Esme felt close to tears. "No sides, nothing?" But nobody was listening to her.

"It's the damned straw!" Dad shouted. "It's wet! I told you it was supposed to be damp, not wet!"

"Back in medieval times, people would've been glad for all this meat," Tiffany, who was studying history at Cambridge, said. "They wouldn't need side dishes."

"We—are—not—medieval—people!" Esme said through gritted teeth.

"Relax, Esme. It's fine," Sybil said.

"Hey, maybe we can put it in Dad's kiln!" Sam piped up. "That ought to cook it, right?"

Esme buried her face in her hands.

***

And so for Billy's first Christmas dinner with Esme's family, which took place on Boxing Day, they ended up eating Chinese takeaway before finishing with Esme's Christmas pudding, which had gone a little stale and had to be fried up in some butter, but that was actually quite delicious, so it was all right.

Still, the slight irritation Esme had felt the moment she arrived home and saw the messy front hall refused to go away. It wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just a general annoyance when the two parts of her life collided and she couldn't decide which part she belonged to, the sensible, practical one in London, or the chaotic but charming one in Kent.

The one thing that cheered her up was that Billy took it all in his strides. While waiting for Sybil to bring back the food, they lounged around the kitchen for a bit of a chat, and the inevitable question of how the two of them had met came up.

"Billy brought Angua into the clinic—" Esme began.

"Then we found her pups under a bridge," Billy followed. "We didn't meet a troll though, despite my name," he quickly added.

Everybody laughed, and Esme turned to Billy with a surprised grin. He grinned back. He must be feeling quite relaxed to be making jokes like that. Perhaps this would turn out well after all.

Once they sat down to eat (another oddity in the Pendergast household, which had no set mealtimes), Billy gave her mum the spoons, apologizing for not wrapping them nicely. Everybody oohed and aahed over them, and Dad started asking Billy all sorts of questions about woodworking, which Billy didn't seem to mind talking about. In fact, he was looking quite at home, though from time to time, he would take Esme's hand or touch his knee to her leg, either to assure her that everything was fine, or to assure himself that she was still there.

When the conversation turned to childhood, Esme started feeling a bit nervous. Mum was telling Billy about how the kids had all shown their aptitudes from a very early age—Sybil snapping away with the Polaroid camera she found at a flea market when she was five, Tiffany insisting on stopping at every historical site they came across while driving around in the camper van, and Sam going to bed as a baby with a paintbrush in his fist. "And Esme was always bringing home little injured things, of course," Mum said. "I still remember the first time. It was a worm that she accidentally cut in half while playing in the dirt. She was in tears for days after."

"I didn't know if it grew back or not, alright?" Esme said to Billy, defensive. "I thought I'd killed it. Not all worms can grow back, you know."

"What about you, Billy?" Dad said. "I bet you were the same as a kid, always tinkering around with chisel and things, right?"

Esme closed her eyes briefly. I've told them a million times, don't ask him about his life! She was trying to think of something to change the subject, but to her surprise, Billy was answering, calmly, "I suppose so. I used to carve the Uffington White Horse on little pendants for my dad, to sell in shops." His hand was clenched around hers under the table, but he gave her a brief smile to say it was all right.

Mum suddenly asked, "How come you're not wearing your White Horse necklace, Esme? I thought you loved it."

Esme hadn't worn the necklace since she and Billy started seeing each other, and she'd completely forgotten about it. "The silver's a bit tarnished, so I want to have it cleaned," she lied, ignoring Billy's questioning look.

Her answer seemed to satisfy Mum. They talked about the White Horse a bit, and then, to Esme's immense relief, the conversation veered toward prehistoric hill figures in general, and nothing more was said about horses or childhood.

It was only when they were on the late train back to London and Esme saw Billy almost visibly sag down in the seat that she realized how hard he'd tried to mask his anxiety during the visit. "You didn't have to put so much pressure on yourself," she said. "My parents really like you."

Probably even more than me, an unkind thought flitted through her mind, before she could stamp it down. Oh, she knew her parents loved her, albeit in a general, abstract way. But like? They didn't like her much. They tried to hide it, but Esme could always tell, even as a child. Kids can pick up on that kind of thing. She was too serious, too rigid for them. Well, they shouldn't have named me after a certain stern old witch then...

"Are you mad at me for giving them the spoons?" Billy asked.

"What? No! I told you it was fine."

"Then what is it?"

Was her irritation that noticeable? Esme knew that if she tried to change the subject, Billy would brood over it and become convinced that it was his fault somehow, so she spoke the truth. "It's not you. It's my parents. They always get on my nerves."

"So they're a bit absent-minded. It's not the end of the world."

"Try growing up with them, never knowing what you're going to eat, because they forget to prepare a meal, and you'll be having chocolate cake for dinner." In her anger, Esme had forgotten her self-imposed rule of not whinging about her parents to Billy. "Sibby and I constantly got into trouble at school because they kept forgetting Parents' Evening. When Tiff and Sam started school, I had to be the one that reminded them. I had to be strict with my siblings, so our parents could be fun. Sibby understood a bit of that, but Tiff and Sam never did. And all of my friends were always banging on about how they wished their parents were as cool as mine—"

"They still love you. They're still nice people."

Esme retorted, "You're just saying that because they're not your parents." Next to her, Billy flinched, almost imperceptibly—she felt it, rather than saw it, a slight stiffening of his shoulder, a tiny shift of his body away from her, and realized how cruel she'd sounded. "I'm sorry."

"No, 's alright." Billy gave her hand an awkward pat. "Just because I have a shit childhood doesn't mean you can't tell me about yours. We're not competing to see who has a shittier childhood, are we?"

"But I don't want to burden you with all this..."

"Is that why you stop wearing your necklace too, because you don't want to burden me?"

She was shocked at his accusing tone. "No! I just thought—I'm just being considerate..."

"What, you think I'm so fragile that I can't even look at a necklace?"

She didn't know how to respond to that. Billy was watching her intently, but when she didn't answer, when she couldn't even look at him, he turned toward the window and kept his eyes fixed on the glass, though there was nothing to see but darkness, broken by pockets of light from some village or town. They remained silent for the rest of the ride.

***

Esme decided to accompany Billy from the station back to his flat, hoping the walk would erase the strange tension between them, although this meant she would have to take the bus home. Billy just shrugged and said "Whatever you want," which she took as a bad sign. Silence thickened between them, heavy and sullen. More than once, Esme tried to say something to break it, but her mind was drawing a blank. Talking about it would make him feel bad, but not talking about it would confirm his accusation. So they just walked, Billy with his shoulder hunched, avoiding her eyes, while Angua scampered between them, looking from one person to another as if to ask what was wrong.

They had almost reached Billy's flat and the turn for the bus stop, where Esme planned to say goodbye, when Billy stopped so abruptly that she nearly walked into him.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"I don't remember leaving the lights on," Billy said. Both windows of his flat were indeed ablaze with light.

They approached slowly. The front door was closed but not locked. Esme's slight concern edged into panic. "Do you want me to call the police?" she asked, digging her phone out of her bag.

Billy shook his head, but his hand trembled as he pushed the door open, and he looked frightened, like a—like a lamb being led into slaughter, thought Esme. It was a silly idea, but it stuck, perhaps because her dad's horrible cooking experiment was still fresh in her mind. Yes, Billy didn't look like he was afraid because he didn't know what was behind the door. He was afraid because he knew exactly what was behind it.

And what was behind it was a man. A man, sprawled on the sofa and stuffing his face with the pigs in blankets Esme had made for Billy the other day in lieu of a proper Christmas dinner. He looked to be in his late thirties, with close-cropped hair, a square jaw, heavy stubble, and muscular, tattooed arms accentuated by his wrinkled T-shirt. Angua growled.

The other man's eyes, of a lighter brown than Billy's, turned to them, regarding them coldly.

"There you are, Billy. Thought I'd missed you," he said. "A family reunion at Christmas. Isn't it nice?"

Billy seemed to shrink in front of those malevolent eyes.

"H-hello, Jimmy," he said.

Chapter 7

A/N: I totally stole the lamb story from Joe Thomas's insane episode of the Off Menu podcast. If you haven't listened to Off Menu (or have only listened to Joe Quinn's episode), I highly recommend it.

Also, some spiciness is coming next chapter (properly this time, not like the embarrassing scene in Chapter 5!)

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer