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sorcererinthestars · 4 years ago

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Captain of the Stars

A lot of this I had already written and grabbed off of old posts, but the old ones are obviously tainted. I wanted to go back to this au and think about it some more, so here’s an up-to-date, enhanced, edited version of my Firefly AU for you guys to check out: - Captain: Geoff. He’s been in the stars since he was a boy. The normal success story- a kid from some nowhere farming planet applies for the Interplanetary Federation and gets his own ship at the age of 22. Problem is? He’s a bit of a troublemaker… which ends up with him deserting the Federation armed only with a ship and dreams of fame and fortune. Ready to get that fame and fortune however he can - even if it means punching some holes into some nasties. - First Mate/Pilot: Jack. Every ship needs a Pilot, someone who can maneuver and dive like the best of them. And Jack is, without a doubt, that man. He handles their ship like one would handle the prettiest person or the most breakable piece of art and in exchange, she dances for him. Originally a shopkeep in a backwater port down on a nowhere moon, Jack had books that charted the stars and a small light-hopper in his backyard on which he learned to fly better than the best of them. Unfortunately, he’s near-signed. While it doesn’t change his ability to fly, it stopped any dreams of getting a legitimate job with the Federation. His dreams of reaching the stars seem impossible... until a wild-eyed man with tattoos and dreams of glory gets deep in his cups and offers a chance at greatness...

- Systems Maintenance/Negotiator: Gavin. Born of high-ranking Federalist parents on Oasis-6, one of the most fervently loyal Federation planets, no one expected a white-collar boy like Gav to take to the stars. Chafing under their restrictive authority, Gavin was found more often on the streets, getting involved in stupid schemes and getting knocked around. To prevent this, his parents, owners of half the fucking galaxy, would lock him down to save their reputation. He spent this time studying books and gilding his tongue. When he gets the chance to run away to the stars, he doesn’t hesitate. A savant for technology and one of the most silver tongued criminals in this side of the galaxy, he’s a wild card and a gift.

- Gunnery: Michael. Michael is from a mining planet far out on the edges of the galaxy. A nothing planet that’s almost forgotten, Jack and Geoff pit stop there for one thing - a new bounty to collect. This is the bastion of gangs; the shithole on the edge of the government’s boundaries. There, they nearly get tackled by a ragged boy with sharp teeth and an angry voice who is running from some high-ranking gang members. When fists start flying, the two stand up for Michael and kill the opponents. Grateful - and now with nowhere to go - Michael leaps at the chance to go with them. He’s their gunner-man - anything that shoots is his territory. Cannons, laser pistols, regular guns, explosives - they’re his children and he handles them with more care than he would a child.

- Engineer: Jeremy. After a severe firefight, the Achieve [their beloved ship] limps down into a space-station not far from Earth that Was. They’re directed to the best damn shipbuilder on this hunk of iron animated with artificial gravity, but they’re given a warning: the man is drunk more often than not. Not surprisingly, they discover an older man off his rocker with drink, but his buff apprentice is fully sober and extremely talented at fixing ships. Jeremy is all thick accent and bluster, but they find out he’s a kid with a bad past that was working to try to get a jump out of this shithole space-station. They desperately need someone on hand to fix their ship, so Jeremy is offered a job. It’s not long before him, Michael, and Gavin are thick as ... well, thieves.

- Companion: Fiona. Don’t you dare call Fiona a whore, because she’ll both cut you physically and cut you from the list of clients for good. She has a profitable network of high ranking women that she provides companionship for and through this, she comes back with secrets and money that help enhance the Achieves’ deals. With the companion’s knowledge of seduction and manipulation, she also has a vicious penchant for knives and can kill anyone before they even realize they’re in danger. Just don’t try to ask her for services when she’s not on the job.

- Medic: Matt. - It quickly is obvious that Jack’s basic medical knowledge isn’t going to cover what they need. At a pitstop on a city-planet deeper inside the Federation, Geoff comes back with their new doctor... a boy looking like he couldn’t even be out of med school. Everyone is skeptical, but Matt is extremely talented. The best part about him is that he has tangible experience in many different areas but doesn’t ask questions. He can close a bullet hole, keep people alive when they’re bleeding out, heal a burn, or stitch a laceration. Because of this, they forgive his vices (eating, laziness, etc.) He’s not bad with a gun either, when push comes to shove. They’re lucky to have him, honestly.

- Information/Secrets/Navigation: The Twins Trevor and Alfredo. The info-gathering racket the Twins had before they fled to the Achieve was the likes in which the original crew on the Achieve had never hoped to touch. They use the Achieve as a home base for their own profitable business as the ship is a safe place for two runaways from the Feds. When they’re on board, they’re extreme help with the nav systems, with info on big scores, etc. They know they need to continue providing incentive for Geoff to let them stow away, and so their secrets are bigger every time they return from an info-gathering mission. They’re also extremely grateful to the crew of the Achieve for keeping Alfredo alive after almost dying during one of their many escapes. That sort of blood debt isn’t solved easily. Plus, the Twins like it there. The Achieve is their home and the crew is their family, forever and always. Hack-offs and death missions and all.

- Wildcard: Lindsay - The thing with a chaos goddess is that no one can hold her down. Despite the fact that she loves her home on the Achieve, she doesn’t always stay there. She’s welcome a bunk and a home whenever she wants it (and she takes that a lot), but she also has a life outside of the Achieve too. She tends to take her shuttle down on offworld planets, working deals and enterprises that allowed her to stay alive in this crazy universe for so long. She has connections that branch far, far beyond their little crew… people in a mysterious gang called RWBY (no one knows what the letters stand for and frankly, everyone’s too afraid to ask), a quiet assassin named Meg who, like a siren, kills every man she seduces, etc. Lindsay knows how and where to find them and is always around to help or cause mischief when she’s on board. The whole crew loves her, even if they treat her with a sort of wary respect.

Their ship? The Achieve. An older model, but she flies better than anything in the skies. Sleek and upgraded, she’s a general army-grade ship with modifications to make it more of a home. Everyone has a bunk, there’s a common room and a kitchen, and the control room is home to anyone with curiosity. Their mission? To smuggle and fight their way to millions, taking odd jobs and illegal enterprises to make fortunes and to just keep flying. They’re free and they have each other and in the end, that’s all they really need.

#firefly au #updated and ready to go #fahc #achievement hunter #i am SO WILLING to talk about this #please do

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stuonsongs · 3 years ago

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My Top 10 Favorite Songs of All Time - 2006 Edition

2021 Editor’s Note: I was looking through some old files and found this thing that I wrote sometime in the summer of 2006 at age 22. For all I know, it could’ve been 15 years to the day! Looking back, I’m not sure how many of these songs would still make my top 10. Don’t get me wrong, I still love all of these tunes, but I’m sure you know how it goes - You get older, you get exposed to more things, and your idea of good music expands. Anyway, I thought it might be nice to share with anyone who still uses this site. I present it in its original format without edits to my writing. I ended up writing full posts in this blog about some of these songs if you go through the archive.

Stu’s Top 10 Favorite Songs…Ever

Let’s start with some honorable mentions. These were so close, and I thought about it for so long, but they had to be left off.

Honorable Mentions

All Summer Long – The Beach Boys

All Summer Long. 1964. Capitol

This song has been described so many times as being “the perfect summer song.” When you listen to it, you can’t help but smile from the opening marimba intro, all the way through. It just screams “summer” and it hurt me to leave The Beach Boys off my top 10.

Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World

Bleed American. 2001. Grand Royal

So full of energy, so rocking, and so what would’ve been the most recent song on my list. I wanted to keep it in the top 10 just so I could have a song from the ‘00s, but it wasn’t meant to be. When the chorus kicks in, I can’t help but headbang.

Marie – Randy Newman

Good Old Boys. 1974. Reprise

Randy has said that a lot of young composers pick “Marie” as their favorite Newman song, and I can see why. The idea of a guy having to be drunk to tell his wife that he loves her is pretty funny, and throughout the whole song it’s just the beautiful melody with tons of strings, all to a tune about a guy ripping on himself as he comes home drunk to his wife.

Does He Love You? – Rilo Kiley

More Adventurous. 2004. Brute/Beaute

I guess this is newer than Bleed American, so it would’ve worked too. This is another more recent song that it killed me to leave off the list. The outro is an arrangement of the main tune with a different chord progression performed by a string quartet. Very beautiful. Also when Jenny Lewis screams “Your husband will never leave you, he will never leave you for me,” I get chills every time.

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So here it is. After a long day’s work, I’m finally finished. It actually turned out much different than I was thinking when I first started. The number one wasn’t really even in my top five when I started, but I slowly realized I loved it so much. I also left Ben Folds (Five) off this list completely, and I don’t know, I just feel the whole catalogue of Ben is so solid, none of the songs stick out to me that much. But anyways, here it is! After the break of course…

Stu’s Top 10

10.

(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave – Martha and the Vandellas

Heat Wave. 1963. Motown.

This one beat out “Bleed American” just barely. The reason being that somehow, despite being nearly 40 years older than Bleed American, it still has so much energy that it kills. Dan Bukvich once told our Jazz Arranging class that you can boil all the oldies you hear on the radio down to three categories: 1) Great Song. 2) Great Performance. 3) Great Arrangement. This song is one of the great performances. The handclaps throughout, combined with the driving baritone sax behind everything and constant snare drum action will keep anybody with blood running through their veins dancing all night long.

Bodhisattva – Steely Dan

Countdown to Ecstasy. 1973. MCA

This song is my Freebird. It’s just a basic blues progression song at its core with some minor changes at the end of the form. The real kicker that drives this song home is the three minute guitar solo in the middle that isn’t nearly as rocking as Freebird, but it is highly proficient and takes me to places that just make me want to play the song over and over again. I have no idea what this song is about, probably Buddhism, but hey, this once again proves that lyrics rarely matter and the music itself is the core.

Zanzibar – Billy Joel

52nd Street. 1978. Columbia

This song reminds me of long car rides on vacations down the west coast with my parents growing up. They used to play a tape of 52nd Street, or at least their favorite selections, constantly on these trips. I didn’t hear this song again until early in my senior year in college and remembered why I loved it so much. The song has a heavy jazz influence, displayed in the breakdown where Jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard does a solo. The best part of this song though is at the end of the 4th line of each verse, Billy does this “Woah oh oh!” thing that just makes me want to sing every time. It was between this and “Miami 2017 (Lights Go Out On Broadway)” which is also a great song, but the “Woah oh oh!” is too much for ol’ Stu boy.

Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) – Bruce Springsteen

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. 1973. Columbia

Early Bruce Springsteen records have something that very few other artists can ever pull off without sounding cheesy or forced. It has this undeniable sense of urgency, like the world will fall apart and life will crumble through your fingers if this one moment in time doesn’t work out the way Bruce describes it. There are so many early Springsteen songs that just set a scene of “We have to get out of this town right now girl before it kills us, no matter what any of our parents, friends, anybody has to say.” There’s a line that kinda sums it up: “Well hold on tight, stay up all night ‘cause Rosie I’m comin’ on strong. By the time we meet the morning light, I will hold you in my arms. I know a pretty little place in southern California down San Diego way. There’s a little café where they play guitars all night and all day. You can hear ‘em in the back room strummin’, so hold tight baby ‘cause don’t you know daddy’s comin’.”

I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Songs For Swingin’ Lovers! 1956. Capitol

This song falls into the category of great arrangement. This Cole Porter classic tune was arranged for Sinatra by Nelson Riddle. The story goes that he was still copying down parts for the players while riding in the cab to the recording studio on the day of recording. After the players ran through it once with Frank, they stood up and applauded. The Baritone sax takes control here, outlining a Db6/9 chord throughout the intro. Of course, Frank’s vocal delivery is spot on and goes up and down in all the right places for the biggest emotion impact. It’s amazing how a song with no real chorus can be so good.

A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

Ain’t That Good News. 1964. RCA Victor

This song was not even going to be on this list, but then I ran across it while scouring my collection of music and remembered how good it was. Then I listened to it and was blown away by the level of detail that went into this arrangement. Sam’s vocals soar above the mind blowingly beautiful arrangement. The lyrics to this one actually add to the tune itself, speaking of wrongdoings in the world around him, and how social change is on its way in the form of the civil rights movement. The song flows with such ease out of Cooke that one might forget the weightiness of the content, but the song’s content is just so heavy that it’s impossible to deny it.

Whatever – Oasis

Whatever EP. 1994. Creation

This song was released as a Christmas present to the U.K. from the Gallagher brothers and company. It never appeared on any full album, only being released as a single, and amazingly, it blows away anything else they’ve ever done. Think “All You Need Is Love,” but with tons of rocking energy and a snide, nonchalant attitude. The chorus speaks, “I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I choose and I’ll sing the blues if I want. I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I like, if it’s wrong or right, it’s alright.” Not exactly poetry, and the song isn’t exactly breaking any new ground either, but the song is absolutely perfect in every way, and it was going to be my #1, but perhaps the only reason it’s not at number one is because I’ve played this song so many times that at the moment, these next three are beating it, but who knows how I’ll feel in a few months. This song also pulls the same “outro performed by a string quartet” thing as “Does He Love You?” but even better. It’s so simple, but I can’t get enough of it.

Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra

Out of the Blue. 1977. Jet

This is obviously the best Beatles song that the Beatles never wrote. The staccato guitar during the verse combined with the strings present in just about every ELO song combine to make a force that is undeniably catchy and musically challenging at the same time. This is really what makes ELO so good. I didn’t discover this song till probably Nov. 2005, and it was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t want to include two songs by the same artist in my top 10, but if I did, I probably would’ve added “Turn To Stone” on this list too because it is almost as awesome as this one. It’s a shame that just like Billy Joel, most critics at the time hated ELO for being overly creative musically (they called it pretentiousness). These days we have acts that really are pretentious (see Radiohead), but everyone loves them, even critics. I’m not knocking all Radiohead, just most everything post OK Computer. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

Only In Dreams – Weezer

Weezer. 1994. Geffen

This has been my favorite Weezer song since about a month into me picking up Weezer’s debut album back around early 2000. It has this ostinato (a repeated motif over and over again) in the bass throughout most of the whole song, never even really resolving to the Gb major chord (excluding chorus, which never really resolves) that it wants to until the end of a 3 minute contrapuntal guitar duet when everything dies out except the bass which just retards on its own until it finally plays the single Gb we’ve all been waiting for. The song on the whole up until the guitar duet is pretty tame, but once those contrapuntal guitar lines start intertwining, my ears perk up every time. I can sing both lines at separate times upon request and when the drums finally kick back in fully at the climax of the song, I let out a sigh of relief or bang on my car wheel in exultant joy, whichever is more of an option at the time.

All Is Forgiven – Jellyfish

Spilt Milk. 1993. Charisma

I always loved this song from the first time I heard it, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until maybe April 2006. I found out about Jellyfish first semester of college in the Fall of ’02 and heard this song, and knew it was great. The constant tom-tom driven drums, the fuzzy, almost white noise distorted guitar, and the half time bass throughout. It was great. Then in April I put it on my mp3 player for the walk to school, and then I listened to it for about two weeks straight. Seriously. It runs into the next song entitled “Russian Hill” which is almost as good, but because it’s a separate song, I couldn’t include it on the list, but in my mind, they always run together and are basically one long 9 minute song. The ending just gets more and more white noise filled until you can barely take it anymore and then it just cuts off completely into the slow acoustic intro for Russian Hill. It’s perfect in every way. I think this would fall into the category of great song. And the way the song builds up right to the middle of the song and then cuts out completely except for some very VERY faint xylophone noodling, and then busts back in with some feedback directly into guitar solo. Man I love this song.

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dailytomlinson · 5 years ago

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At the stroke of midnight on January 31st, 2020, the music industry was single-handedly saved by just a young lad from Doncaster. We can all agree, in confidence, that the majority of artists won’t top the charts with their first LP, especially with little to no promo. “Walls” however, debuted at #1 on the worldwide iTunes charts, a feat not many will come by. Judging by its success, we can rightfully assume this album could be rather magical. Just over a month into the decade, I can happily testify that this may be one of the greatest pieces of work we’ll see over the span of the next 10 years. The only record I may allow to top it, will be Tomlinson’s sophomore album, which is fair to speculate will have a little less fan service and show a little more of the grunge britpop rockstar that Louis is dying to showcase.

Oh, this guy’s from One Direction, too. It’s a fact that doesn’t need to be honed in on, but in case you aren’t familiar with his older work, the UK-based band is where he found his origin story. Though hopefully after giving these tracks a listen, we’ll all be able to start celebrating him as the solo artist he was destined to become.

Kill My Mind

You hate me and I want more.

Perhaps I wasn’t alive during majority of the Britpop Movement of the 90s, but I can wholeheartedly say that if you played this opening track for anyone familiar with the genre, they would tell you it would feel right at home as a feature on one of Oasis’ final LPs or as a single brought to us by Blur. However, that is not to say it lacks originality. In fact, far from it. His thick Yorkshire accent demands your attention right off the bat. This song is confident, it’s loud, it’s sexy, it’s everything his loyal fanbase has been patiently waiting to see arise from the musician. It’s a different Tomlinson than the general public may be accustomed to, but it’s a perfect example of an artist finding their authentic self. The electric opener, Kill My Mind gives us a little tease as to what’s to come.

Don’t Let It Break Your Heart

What hurts you is gonna pass and you’ll have learned from it when it comes back.

After careful consideration, this may be the album’s weakest link. It draws on a bit of the pop-influence his previous audiences may be more familiar with. Previously, Louis released a single-edit and a piano version. The one featured on the album, is by far the most well mixed. It’s filled with beautiful harmonies and the layered vocals have a lot of potential. The message of this song is uplifting, about overcoming hardships with grace and allowing yourself to grow from them — A theme not uncommon in Louis’ writing or general life philosophy. Always the lyricist, coming from him, this message works and it works beautifully into the melodies of the song. My main issue comes down to production. The background vocals are choppy and make the general feeling of the song a little cheesy. Ultimately, it all just sounds forced. I can say however, experiencing this song live is a different story. Some songs are meant to be played live, and this just happens to be one of them.

Two of Us

We’ll end just like we started, just you and me, and no one else.

The lead single was one Louis himself proclaimed needed to be written, or else his other art would suffer from being insincere. “I just feel like musically, I almost needed to get this song off my chest,” He recently told Rolling Stone, “People say writing is a part of therapy and in a way, I feel like I’d been avoiding writing this song because I knew I only had one chance to get it right.” For those who may be unaware, at the start of his solo career, Louis tragically lost his mother, the person he was closest with, to leukemia. Out of respect to him, I won’t dwell on this, and it does feel fairly inconsiderate to put the piece under review, per say. I will, however, assert that it is a stunningly orchestrated song. You can feel the authenticity and honesty radiate from the words he’s singing, especially in the big build up of the chorus in comparison to the heart wrenching and softly sung outro. It’s rare we find artists who are proud to wear their hearts on their sleeves and speak with true openness. Each song is an example of this, but Two of Us broadcasts this vulnerability loudly, as he gives us an anthem of accepting that you’re grieving and reminding listeners to always hold onto hope.

We Made It

Nothing in the world that I would change it for, singing something pop-y on the same four chords.

Yes, she’s corny, yes her lyrics might not be up to standard with the rest of his work, and yes, she is my favorite song on the album. We Made It, is filled to the rim with nostalgia and embracing that although the tunnel was dark, there was in the end, a light. For anyone who has grown up with Louis and supported him through all the twists and turns of his decade long career, this song could be a celebration of us and our relationship with our favorite musician. There were always struggles along the way, but we, as fans, never turned our back on him. We were there for him when he needed us to lean on. The sentiment remains when reversed. Ultimately, whatever we needed, he was able to provide. It’s easy to see how much of a team Louis and his followers are, and this song is honoring that. If you’re less familiar with the singer himself, then this track is just a fun little guitar-driven song that reminisces those nights of getting smashed and blazed out of your mind with your young love, and what’s wrong with that?

Too Young

Face to face at the kitchen table, this is everything I’ve waited for.

Every album needs a song to cry to, and for Walls, this is the one. There aren’t too many complexities here, as Louis has said he generally likes to stray away from metaphors when he can. The calm strumming of the acoustic guitar, lends itself beautifully to the track, and never overpowers Louis’ voice. Vocally, this a huge example of a myriad of Louis’ strengths. It contrasts some of the heavily belted pieces we hear later on in the album, and focuses on the softness he’s able to convey in his killer range of a chest voice. His raspy tone demonstrates a certain intimacy. When the song is listened to through headphones with your eyes closed, it almost feels as if Louis is right there on your bedside, gently playing a personal piece he had just written and trusts you enough to perform it for you first. There’s a certain amount of emotional intelligence demonstrated in this song, as he never pulls the victim card, but instead takes the mature approach of admitting to where he’s gone wrong. This notion is used a lot in his writing, and is a sure telling of his character. This catchy little ballad wouldn’t feel out of place on albums of most genres, musically lacking some originality, which is made up for with the candor and polish in his vocals.

Walls

Why is it that “thank-you” is so often bittersweet?

Objectively speaking, this is the most well crafted track on the album. Perhaps even more Oasis-y than some Oasis hits, it even earned itself a writing credit from Noel Gallagher himself. By now, we are more than well accustomed to embracing Louis’ themes of overcoming barriers (or walls). It’s something he writes about often, and why shouldn’t he? He knows what it’s like to stand above what’s been dragging you down more than anyone. The most titular lyric opens and closes the tune, proclaiming, “Nothing wakes you up, like waking up alone.” As soon as you’re hit with this, you know you’re listening to a song which dares the audience to take the musician earnestly. Louis has always been the funny one who has chosen to never take himself too seriously in life. With his music, he had a hard time at the start, choosing to put out records which defined Top 40, but never himself. Walls forces us to accept the artist he’s become. It proves to every listener, that Louis Tomlinson is a musician, a lyricist, a vocalist; a true craftsman. He is a serious artist and this salient track forces us, for once, to accept him as one.

Habit

Took some time cause I ran out of energy, of playing someone I’ve heard I’m supposed to be.

Back in February of 2018, Louis teased this lyric on his twitter, sending fans into a frenzy of when and where this sentiment might come into play. In September of last year, he finally played it for us live. This live version of the song was a complete bore. Again, Louis’ biggest asset in his music may come from his lyrics. He wrote more songs for One Direction than any of the other boys, often partnering with Liam Payne who would work on the melodies, while Louis focused on cutting deep with his words. This is more than evident here, meaning any initial fondness of this song was independently due to the verses he was singing. When the album finally hit stands and we were able to hear the studio version, I have to say, my opinion on this absolute banger changed drastically. It may be a little controversial to say, but this song might have some “Yeehaw” vibes. If you played someone the opening, before his vocals take the forefront, it would’ve been fair to assume it was a Maren Morris hit. Country/Britpop/Indie isn’t exactly something I would ever even consider diving into, but let me tell you, this certified bop has been on repeat. Here’s to hoping him and his band can put together a new live arrangement before the world tour kicks off in March.

Always You

Waiting to wrap your legs around me, and I know you hate to smoke without me.

To be blunt, this song was a fan service. If it wasn’t for Louis’ persistent stans, this track may have been ditched months ago. However, when he gave us a glimpse of the songs upbeat opening lyric three years ago, we latched onto it. For years we bombarded Louis, telling him this song needed to stay on the record, and thank God he listened. He did realize partway through the writing process that this isn’t the sort of music he would like to put out anymore, so it may not resonate with someone looking for the more grungy side of the artist. Always You is almost pure bubblegum and it sounds like it should be radiating loudly off festival speakers. The tune will be a crowd-pleaser, and will surely bring the most hype for live audiences. It’s the sort of song you want to scream out while drunk on a rooftop in the summer atop the ocean in New York City, which is exactly what myself and approximately 6800 more fans will be doing this June.

Fearless

Cash in your weekend treasures, for a suit and tie, a second wife.

God damn is Fearless sexy. The slow and pulsing beat of this song, with the organic guitar, subtle production, and his sultry voice are a recipe for a great and sensual tune. The song was written with the inspiration of feeling youthful, and teaches what to center your sense of self-worth around. There’s a certain level of maturity that comes with a song of these intentions, and in that, Louis is able to showcase his ever growing wisdom. “What I wanted to try and capture with the song is the idea of feeling youthful and how important that is,” He recently said in an interview with Apple Music, “I’m at this age where I’m on the cusp — I’m definitely not a teenager, I’m not a young lad anymore, nor am I old, but I sit in this space where I’m aware of my age now. I hear it as a playground or going back to real youth.”

Perfect Now

Don’t you wanna dance? Just a little dance?

On release day, Louis did a signing, where he bravely asked a few fans what their least favorite track on the album was. Everyone said Perfect Now, earning them a high five from the man himself as well as his genuine agreement. While many look at it as a cheesy romantic love song, masquerading as a rejected early One Direction track, mirroring Little Things or What Makes You Beautiful, I wholeheartedly disagree. It’s easy to chalk it down to being “cheesy” when you approach it as being romantic, but if you look at it as, simply, a love song, that changes the perspective. Louis sings over an appealing and charming little guitar melody, and you can almost hear his smile. It’s easy to picture him singing this to his younger sisters as a piece of brotherly encouragement, or to a good friend who needs cheering up after a hard day. This darling melody invites you to dance around your bedroom feeling loved. Perfect Now proves that not everything has to be deep and serious; allow yourself to be open to simply feeling happy over the little things like a lyric that makes you smile. When in the chorus he prompts, “Keep your head up, love,” listeners can’t help but feel a sense of personal support from the artist, which is exactly what makes this song so special.

Defenseless

We’re sleeping on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams.

It’s understandable why Louis likes to stray from metaphors in his writing, because generally speaking, they simply aren’t good. This is proven with lyrics such as, “I’m running to you like a moth into a flame”. As well as this, the rhyming of “defenseless” with “fences” and then “defenseless” again, doesn’t exactly sit well. The song does grow to be much better than anticipated after the first verse. The pre-chorus has a strong beat, which you’ll find yourself accidentally clapping along to in public. The bridge allows Louis to explore his falsetto, which is something we’ve never heard from him before. It’s strong and poignant, and it’s a real shame that his old band never gave him the opportunity to use his voice in all its capabilities. The control Louis has over his vocals throughout this song is astonishing, and almost unheard of in most modern music outside of musical theatre. This track alone, proves that he is one of the most vocally gifted artists not only to come out of One Direction, but to come out of the last decade at all.

Only the Brave

It’s a church of burnt romances and I’m too far gone to pray.

The lyrics to this song are borderline poetry. Each and every word draws you in and leaves you speechless. It’s a short song, ending at one minute and forty-four seconds, and that works well. It leaves us wanting more, even when we’ve reached the very end of the whole experience. The tune feels like a mantra; something to sing to yourself as you prepare for something you’re nervous about or to congratulate yourself on completing a task you never thought you could accomplish. There’s no proper structure and his voice has a retro filter over top, giving the whole thing a bit of a wartime vibe. The most powerful moment is undoubtedly when he sings, “It’s a solo song, and it’s only for the brave,” as a way of patting himself on the back for where he is now in life and in his career. It’s the perfect way to bring home the album. After 12 tracks demonstrating it, it is proven to us that he doesn’t need his ex-bandmates, he doesn’t need a big production, he doesn’t need Simon Cowell, he doesn’t need other songwriters dictating what direction to go, because he is Louis Tomlinson and he is brave.

#walls review #keira millian #050220 #louis tomlinson

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avoutput · 4 years ago

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Gaps Between Worlds || Mega Man X

Recently I have been searching for the answer to a problem I have been drowning in: Do I still love playing video games? There was a time when new video game releases would get me hyped, and it could just be that I am getting older and my priorities are changing, or my love for games is evolving, but I think there is a better answer that sounds more analytical and less like a platitude. I had to start thinking about what made me fall in love with games in the first place, which was easy enough to do; it was an escape. We need to go deeper. What about games, about the escape grabbed me. Looking back at my most recent completions: Dark Souls, Persona 5, Final Fantasy VII Remake, and Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, most of them offered a balance between challenge and story. For a long time in between the excitement of a title, I had been relying on a game either appealing to the challenge or the story, on a sliding scale in one direction or another. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by my lack of enthusiasm for new games, I pick up a game from my childhood, something that made me feel nostalgic, something like Mega Man X. They have this ability to lift my spirit and invigorate me. That’s when I realized what was missing from modern games: my imagination.

When I booted up my copy of Mega Man X this weekend, it was like it was calling to me. I did it subconsciously. I was struggling with my drive to play Persona 4 Golden, and picked up Nioh, a playstation plus game that had been sitting around for awhile. I was working on a boss, and I just wasn’t feeling it. That’s when I went looking through my games library. I had actually picked up a copy of Mega Man X Legends a while back, installed it, and never played it. Without thinking, just like I did when I was a kid, I just started playing it. The Capcom sound plays and the Mega Man logo flashes across the screen and I am instantly back on my friends bedroom floor, hogging the controller. When the first level starts, it’s instantly chaos, cars flying down the highway, trying to escape the ensuing carnage. You can find out why if you wait for the demo screen that explains the game instead of instantly pressing start, but I never did as a kid, and this led precisely to what I am here to talk about. I filled the gaps with my imagination, even in places where the game didn’t ask me to. I was hungry for a world that I could make cohesive. One that offers a clear definition, a map that leads the eye and the mind to a conclusion, but open enough to let that conclusion be anything that suits you. (The opposite of the Nomura-verse!)

In the era of 8-bit and 16-bit games, the worlds were often presented as flat, layered objects, but drawn to appear in three dimensions like a diorama or, as they often called levels back then, a stage. After you beat the opening level and receive a helping hand from your… friend… or brother… or just some other robot who looks cooler than you, Zero, you are introduced to the classic Mega Man selection screen, but with an interesting tweak. You now can access the enemy’s location via the map screen. This really got my imagination going as a kid and still does to this day. It’s just a minor tweak to the usual formula for the series, but it suddenly added a new layer of depth. I always knew they had to exist somewhere, but it never occurred to me that there was an interconnected ecosystem. They boldly took this approach a step further. Defeating certain Mavericks (the stage bosses) affected another Maverick’s stage. For example, defeating Storm Eagle causes the plane you fight on to crash into Spark Mandrils’ stage. I loved this because as much sense as it made, it also really didn’t make any sense.

Take a look at the map. It is an incredibly dense locale, seemingly made up only of the locations related to the Mavericks. You start the game in some sort of cityscape, but now, you appear to be on some kind of island or peninsula that maybe… supplies all of the needs of the people in the city? Some of the functions of these stages are clear, some you have to make a stretch, and others defy clear explanation. You have a power plant, an airport, a mine, and a factory, all pretty straightforward. As a stretch, we have a forest that possibly processes carbon into oxygen. It doesn’t seem to produce wood, the trees are all made of electronics and covered in a wood veneer. The sea port is also a bit mysterious. It seems more military related than shipping related. All of the robots aren’t the repurposed kinds you see in other stages. They already have missiles and lasers, they are attack focused. So this is probably a military research facility. In the unexplainable, first we have the icy mountain stage, which could be a mine or maybe a research station. I often thought that it produced and controlled weather, but what exactly does a mountain have to do with that? Maybe it is rooted in science, but as a kid, the mind isn’t fully formed, and as an adult, you just know that water becomes clouds and it rains. The American Education system is broken. Lastly, we have a tower that appears to be surrounded by a moat. As a kid, I used to think this was the control tower for the airport, but now I am thinking it might be the control tower for the entire peninsula’s robot ecosystem. It’s not clear, at all, but that's what makes it fun. It is the inconsequential nature of their necessity that makes it fun to explore in your imagination. The bosses don’t speak between each battler or even introduce themselves beyond the shonen bad guy thumbs down, phase in, or muscle flex posturing. If you dig, I am sure there is some concrete answer, but the power is that it ultimately doesn’t matter, it’s just fun to play and explore, either way you go about it.

What also stands out about the construction of the map is how one stage actually interacts with another. If you notice, the Chill Penguin stage is way up at the north side of the map and the factory is to the south, and yet, when you beat Mr. Chill, you Flame Mammoth’s stage is frozen over. There are other stages between the mountain and the factory that are totally in the way of the possible avalanche that would have hit the factory, and yet they are unfazed. I get it, fire is weak to ice, but since there isn’t really an overall method to the madness in the construction of the Map image, as far as I can tell, I just can’t figure why they didn’t move the stages into proximity of the stage that is affected by the defeat of a Maverick master. What is hilarious, the defeat of Launch Octopus causes the forest to overflow, and wouldn’t you know it, they are right next to each other. Same with the airport and power plant, helmed by Storm Eagle and Spark Mandrill respectively. The funny thing about the airport is that because you destroy an airplane in midair, you could have destroyed any stage on the map, and it would have made sense. It would have been even cooler if they had made it so that the longer it takes to defeat Storm Eagle, that changes where the plane falls, and thus the stage it destroys.

It’s not that modern games don’t have these imaginative gaps, it’s just that there are much fewer obvious gaps in the world because they have so much more space to create in. Just looking at the file size between games of the past and today, it’s like comparing the size of Mercury to Jupiter. With that in mind, it could be that I haven’t spent the time to really dive in and find the cracks in modern games. As a kid, I just played the same games over and over again and committed these gaps to memory.

I decided I would use this title to discuss different aspects of the gaps between the imaginative leaps that storytelling asks us to make. Like how we all came up with a particular internal story about what happens inside a Pokeball. I was part of the crowd that thought maybe they get their own personal oasis that suited their type. Or maybe we can discuss the implication of the relationship that Zelda and Link must have based on the minimal interactions we actually get to see them in. Mega Man X has many more facets as series we can dive into, like how exactly his buster arm might actually function and be powered? Maybe it is an internal nuclear reactor offset or totally green and powered by the sun. If it was nuclear, does he leave behind fallout at every defeat? Hopefully I can dedicate more time to this! Thanks for reading.

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segadores-y-soldados · 7 years ago

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Personal and Fic Updates

Hey everyone!

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve done one of these personal update messages. I’m trying to get my stuff in order but life continues to outpace me, it seems.

The quick and dirty: Fic Stuff:

Moira has been integrated into the overarching plot of “And Overwatch For All”

Because of this, I am currently rewriting major portions of Old Habits. Yesterday, I finished a major rewrite of chapter 10 (the “evil council is introduce” chapter). I have the majority of chapter 11′s rewrite done and hope to finish that today as well. With luck, I will start working on a rewrite of Chapter 13.

Shockingly, I’m keeping a lot of the “present day” plot elements the same (aka, all the stuff leading up to Recall). But several major “past events” have changed, including Reaper/Gabriel’s backstory.

More on this later. I will also be writing a separate post JUST for fic stuff, if you prefer to read only that.

Personal Stuff:

Extra expenses have started showing up in my life. Details are under the cut.

My job has not yet promoted me and a coworker the way they said they would in the timeframe they gave us (1 year). Because of this, I am starting the job hunt again.

I have created a Ko-Fi (https://ko-fi.com/U7U063ZJ)

More under the cut

Alright, so here’s the longer version of what my last like...three months have been like, with both personal/work stuff and fandom stuff.

Personal life/Work:

I have said this in a few places, but I currently work as an entry-level archaeologist for a state department in California. Full disclosure: I and my fellow coworker are underpaid for our work, which is as variable as conducting documentation research through databases and organizing research on behalf of our higher-level archaeologist and historian supervisors to performing surveys and actual fieldwork digs in every type of weathers in California. As an example, two weeks ago (the week of Thanksgiving here in the U.S.), myself and one of my supervisors did an 8 hour fieldwork day which consisted of 3-4 hours of surveying through waist-high grass in pouring rain at 55 degrees F/12 degrees C. This upcoming week, I and (other underpaid) coworker will be doing two 12-hour days of construction monitoring. Our work consists of traveling all over the state, with driving that can take a full day to get to a work destination (these are charged to work, don’t worry - I don’t have to pay for that, thank god).

The reason I’m explaining this is because this is a huge reason why some days (or even some weeks) my activity on tumblr, twitter, and AO3 will take a straight nosedive. On Thursday of this past week, I spent 8-10 hours without checking my phone and came home to 4 missed calls, 8 “active chats” on messenger, 600 messages on discord, and basically a whole day of “social media-ing” missed out.

If you’re rolling your eyes over this, I get it, I really do - it sounds like all the stuff that older people complain millennials “overvalue,” but (for example) one of those phone calls was from my dentist’s office saying that they will not serve me because (after three months of them NOT checking) they realized that I don’t have the right dental insurance for them.

Fun.

I don’t make enough money to switch to higher, “better services” health and dental insurance, but since I work a job that requires physical labor, I’m scared to cut them from my life. Said coworker twisted his ankle earlier this year, and work only compensated him for 1 week of “missed” work, when in reality he was walking with a slight limp for 2-3 weeks. Because of our low-level, we are not given access to benefits that many other state workers get.

Moreover, our sub-department has been promising that the two of us would get promoted “within the year.” We reached a year working with them in mid-November, and that promise still hasn’t been reached.

So in terms of my personal life, I’m at a cross-roads: I will tell them that they need to promote us, even to the next “low-level position” because that will give us just a few more $/hour which will help A LOT when accumulated, or I’m going to tell them that I’ll have to search for something else.

On top of this, my parents have decided it’s time for me to “pay rent” to live at home with them - a discussion we, frankly, haven’t had on a serious level yet and one which blindsided me this morning. I am looking into my options but without a better job, they’re not good.

This also doesn’t cover whatever it will take to help me start the legal and medical processes of transitioning, which are, frankly, the main things I’ve been saving money for.

What does this mean:

I’m looking for places to cut costs, but the combination of current expenses + what my parents want from me will take 1/3 to 1/2 of my current monthly paycheck. I already spend next to nothing on personal stuff, so all my current expenses are “necessities” such as food, gas, and insurance. I’m looking to cut down on gas costs but it may be awhile before my daily schedule gets adjusted.

The alternate is taking a second job that will permit me to only work my free three days a week.

Doing this means I will have zero time to write or produce content.

For now, I’m not jumping out to do that. I’ve made a Ko-Fi account (https://ko-fi.com/U7U063ZJ) that I would greatly appreciate any spare money you’re willing to contribute. Something as simple as a few dollars can go to me covering the cost of my health insurance per month, while I figure out the bigger problems of searching for a job.

The reason why I started with this is because:

Fic Stuff/Writing Stuff:

I do the equivalent of 3-4 full days of “writing” for fandom stuff per week: on my days off, I can write anywhere from 8 to 14 hours a day. Using just Friday and yesterday as an example, I wrote 9k words, and with whatever I do today, I will likely push that to about 11-12k.

Yes, it is all voluntary, and I do not have to write at the pace that I do, nor the amount that I do. I do it because I enjoy it, and because, honestly, writing for Overwatch has given me some of the biggest joys and happiness I have felt in like, a decade. And that includes writing the long essays. My last big R76 post (http://segadores-y-soldados.tumblr.com/post/167321630835/everything-you-want-to-know-about-reaper-and) spans a whopping 67 pages and 7.5k words in Google Docs (that includes pictures and sources/credits/links/references).

Again, this isn’t to brag, but just to put my writing into perspective, I guess. This is the equivalent of doing a second part-time job, which was something I attempted last year but was unable to balance my current archaeology job + a part-time retail job + writing. I dropped the second one because, at the time, I finally had the luxury to choose a job in my profession and writing on the side. This is a luxury I was fortunate to enjoy for the first half of 2017, but it is steadily becoming undoable as my work increases my responsibilities without increasing my pay.

Fic Updates:

For those of your who have been waiting patiently for information on “And Overwatch for All” I do have some good news that I’m finally ready to share:

Moira has been integrated into the plot.

I got a number of comments here and on twitter that were really supportive of my current version of “AOFA” and I just want to say, thank you all so much. It means a lot to me that you guys have liked the version of Overwatch I’ve built up and that you found all the characters, including my silly OCs, to be engaging and well-written. It was soul-crushing to think I would have to lose some of them, but after some time and doing more research on Moira, I feel ready to talk more about her and how she’s going to factor into the updated plot.

To start off with:

None of the OCs will be cut, but some of their roles will change.

Lmao, this surprised me as well, but I’ve figured out a few different ways to make all of the OCs, especially the very obviously contrived “Death Agents,” stick around in the updated plot.

Only one OC (and you can probably guess who, if you’ve started “New Wars”) will change names: the character called “Reaper” in “New Wars Chapter 1″ (the “young Hanzo chapter”) will be called “Reaver.” This is due to his updated role in the plot. His background has changed only slightly.

If it wasn’t apparent, this “Reaper” was meant to act as a plot device to cause confusion over Gabriel/Reaper’s actions after the fall of Overwatch, but that has changed because:

I’m switching to Crisis-era and “undercover mercenary” Reaper.

If you’ve read some of my more recent posts on Moira, you’ll know that I’ve switched over to supporting the idea that “something went wrong with Gabriel Reyes during SEP/the Crisis.” This is due to the fact that you can find a folder labeled “Soldier ID: 24″ in Moira’s Oasis lab, that Michael Chu said that Reyes was interested in getting her help on “matters of genetics,” and that this appears to mesh the “Reaper has existed for decades” concept in Reaper’s hero profile.

Truth be told, I’ve actually been a supporter of this idea of “Gabriel has been Reaper behind the scenes for decades” plot point for a long, long time, almost as long as I’ve been posting Old Habits. “Reaper”/“Reaver” was semi-messy OC that attempted to bridge Reaper’s original hero profile with the “Old Soldiers” explanation that Gabriel/Reaper gave that “Jack and Overwatch ‘left [him] to suffer.’” However, I also knew when writing Old Habits that the “Mercy is evil” theory was ALSO not true, so I was kinda stuck:

“If Gabriel = Reaper for decades, why did he appear to blame Jack and Overwatch for his current condition?”

My original solution was to make “Reaper” a different character and have him operating the situation in the background (like a mystery story), but over time this solution got trickier and trickier to work with. With Moira, I have a chance to rework much of Old Habits/AOFA to better suit some of the details that have come out since drafting it.

This does mean, unfortunately, that all the “76+127″ content is going to become its own, standalone series.

To switch over to integrating “Soldier: 24,” the “76+127″ stories will have to become their own standalone series. Don’t worry - I’m not deleting anything. Old content from “Old Habits” will be moved to their own fics, so you can read the whole thing in chronological order.

A new version of my updated ideas on SEP has already started being drafted. Writing it out is just a matter of time at this point, haha.

The conspiracy/Talon council “mysteries” will become more transparent almost immediately.

With Moira, I finally get the chance to explore some of my ideas in “full format” instead of the kinda awkward “Sombra hacking a chat log” parts yall originally got. This DOES mean that written portions will suddenly be much, MUCH longer. For example:

Old Habits original chapter 10 (Sombra hacks an SSO chat log): 17 pages

Old Habits revised chapter 10 (Moira discusses the Route 66 battle with council members + Sombra hacks a chat log): closer to 34 pages

The explosion fight has been changed.

Because of the changes to Gabriel’s plot, the nature of the explosion fight between him and Jack has changed significantly. It does incorporate new information that Moira revealed.

If it wasn’t obvious, I’ve had a draft version of my ideas for the fight sitting in GDocs for about a year now, and I use that for all my flashback/memories, and also for when Reaper and Soldier: 76 are arguing in the present. There was a major plot point in the explosion fight that I was extremely uncomfortable with, but found it to be “solid angst material.” In retrospect, I dislike this plot point and have removed it for another plot point that sits better with me, and fits the overall story more comfortably (I think).

So yes, I DO have a new draft of the explosion fight - written completely from scratch, 100% different in tone and emotionality. Parts of this should begin to show in updates to Chapter 13, when Soldier: 76/Jack reflects on some of the fight.

The Goal:

The goal for AOFA right now is to update Old Habits in “two big batches” - update the first half (Chapters 1 - 15) within 1 - 2 weeks, and then update the second half (Chapters 16 - 31) shortly after. Optimistically, before January, but realistically, closer to late-January/early-February.

Thanks for sticking with me - both with this post, and with my life changes. Things are incredibly and often overwhelmingly busy for me, and I don’t really know where many of these things (both personal stuff and fic stuff) will end up. I really do appreciate any and all support, even if I’m not able to respond to comments. You guys make it worthwhile to keep writing, and I apologize for how distant I’ve been with this stuff.

#personal #my essays #my writing #an update #ko-fi #segadores y soldados #long post

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delusaedisillusa · 7 years ago

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Random hearts ll

The phone call was made.

Social services were not activated

No accusation was made against Tyra.

All debts of the little family were paid.

The story of Cersei's hair 'I stuck chewing gum in my hair.'

The bruises? 'Tyrion and I played and we were too wild' was not questioned, even if no one believed it.

Joanna Lannister was fast and efficient, even before taking the flight that would take her to the woman that had been as close as a sister, had hired a good lawyer who had dealt with the matter.

"Joanna, you wouldn't want to take Tyra and her children with you, right?" Asked Tywin to his wife before the flight. Despite his calendar full of appointments he had wanted to accompany his wife to the airport.

He had twisted his lips at the thought, Tyra was a shame for House Lannister, the idea to have her with her brood at home, annoyed him immensely.

He loved his home, a place not only filled with pride and traditions, a place where Joanna and their children would welcome him, he did not want anyone to disturb his oasis.

"We can pass a check monthly and send the children to a great boarding school!"

The look of Joanna was that of a lioness. An angry lioness ready to kill.

"A check and a boarding school? They are Lannister! Relative of both of us! This is really the most you do to help relatives in difficulty?" She looked in the green and golden eyes of her husband, for her his eyes were never cold.

"They are twins, like ours and they didn't have an easy life. God Tywin, Tyra was dying and the children were beaten by someone! Money is not everything, they need stability and love!" She stopped with tears in her eyes. Joanna, was his conscience and compassion.

How much he loved that woman!

"Ok, Mrs. Lannister, do what you find appropriate and come back as soon as possible!" He kissed her, after making sure that no one could see, and smiled. A small brief smile that melted her heart.

"See you soon, love."

For the twins Joanna was like a fairy.

The woman who resembled their mother, but that was as different from her as the day from the night, she took them under her wings and for the first time in a long time the two felt safe.

She managed to get temporary custody in record time.

There was no need to pack "We will purchases a few things now and we will buy the rest later."

Joanna had barely held back the tears when the children had decided to take with them only a few books and two stuffed lions.

Ceres and Jaime still had their stuffed cubs, Tyra and herself got them as children, and surely even Tywin and his brothers had their own.

'Poor little ones.' She thought watching them going hand in hand, they were more united than her own twins.

The clothes the children possessed weren't worthy of Lannister's children, Joanna contacted an exclusive boutique who were happy to open their shop only for them, where they were treated like stars.

Tyrion's clothes were specially adjusted by a seamstress, Cersei got clothes and matching bags and hats and many accessories she had always dreamt to have.

Never in their lives they had so many beautiful things.

Joanna and two salesladies had recommended them, laughed and joked with them. Joanna had also bought some clothes for her cousin. Her heart grew weary when she saw her cousin in the hospital under a massive dose of sedatives.

'Poor little ones.' She thought again watching them sleep, they had dined in a luxurious hotel room, where she could see that the children had good table manner they had handled cutlery casually, at least Tyra taught them good manners, but one could clearly see that they were not accustomed to the food quality served before them.

After that they had gone bathing. 'Cousin Joanna, in here you can almost swim!' They had exclaimed. Then thew put on the new pyjamas, Joanna did the enormous effort not to kiss them and hold them tight in her arms, if she would do that, she would not be able not to weep.

The twins had decided to sleep on one of the beds. Hugged tight.

The lawyer had told her that Cersei had cried shouting that she did not want to be separated from her brother.

"It is my twin!" She had shouted. "It's my sister!" She thought of Jaime and Ceres, her cubs, and started to cry.

She decided that she would protect them.

Tywin surely wouldn't have been happy, but he would have indulged. She could not leave the twins to Tyra, but she could not take the children away from her cousin, she needed her help too.

They would all come to Casterly Rock with her.

Tywin hoped that Tyra would have just accepted the money and would stay in whatever hole she lived in.

Money they had enough of... and also problems without counting that unbalanced drunk and her family.

But as he received the phone call and he had heard the voice full of tears of his wife he knew, his fear would come true.

"Tywin, I cannot leave! Tyra needs me, the children are ... delicious! Tyrion is a little man, a sharp one. God Tywin, he is only nine years old, but knows how to read like an adult …"

"Tyrion would be the deformed one." He interrupted her.

Joanna did not let himself be distracted and spoke further

"Cersei could be Jaime's twin, they are so alike! She is a little girl full of temperament, I'm sure she'll become a beautiful woman."

"Cersei is the bald one, isn't it? Fantastic, a girl full of temperament, we just needed a troublemaker!"

"A troublemaker? Why?"

"Well beautiful women cause problems! Look at me, if someone would have told me that I would be dominated by a woman …"

Joanna laughed and Tywin smiled in spite of himself.

"I love you, Tywin."

"Then come back, my lady! "

"They will throw us out" Cersei wailed, "He doesn't like us. You can see this from a mile away!" Continued the girl "He will not let his children play with the dregs." Cersei did not know that the man who seemed to breath power, was not able to deny his wife anything.

Tywin adored his wife, she was the only woman he gave such power over him.

Money, power, beauty.

Cersei had never felt more insignificant in her life.

Never had Cersei seen such perfection.

Once Joanna and Tyra could have been mistaken for twins, but those days were gone.

The first time she had seen cousin Joanna not a detail escaped in the eyes of Cersei; from her hair collected in a perfectly soft chignon, her face slightly but masterfully painted. The Chanel cream colored suit with a purple silk blouse with matching handbag and shoes .

She recognized the brand of the bag, those bags that Tyra could look at for hours in a showcase of one of those shops where the salesladies stared at you like you're a beggar.

Tywin was impeccable, so different from the men who courted Tyra.

Men who brawl, got drunk and touched nine years old girl, the way they shouldn't.

Ceres was a beautiful little girl with her father's eyes and blond hair so light to be almost white.

Ceres seemed gentle and graceful, clad in checkered red and gold, she wore small earrings and a necklace with a pendant in the shape of a lion. Immediately Cersei decided that the little girl was insipid and if she still had her long hair, she would have been much more beautiful than her.

She was grateful to wear the clothes bought by Joanna, with her faded jeans and cheap T-shirts she would have died from embarrassment.

Without her hair she felt ugly and a tomboy.

Then Jaime came down the stairs it was like looking in a mirror.

They looked like two drops of water, had the same eyes, the same features, the same stature.

They were incredibly similar.

Strangely looking Jaime she had felt reassured, she was his image, then she could not be that bad.

"My name is Jaime and what is yours?"

If I were a boy I would have been him. The thought flashed like lightning.

"I'm Cersei." I'm beautiful, I am strong, I'm worthy as him.

Ceres was shy and sweet. While Jaime was bold and always on the move.

"What have you done to your hair?" He asked.

"Chewing gum." Answered Tyrion saving his sister of yet another humiliation.

"Bad thing." Asserted Jaime "And you are the dwarf?"

"You're sharp! Usually people do not realize it." Teased Tyrion.

"Really?" Asked Ceres shy, but Jaime interrupted, laughing.

"Dear sister, Tyrion is making me notice that I made a silly question!" He laughed looking at the much smaller guy "Mom said you're some kind of genius, but you don't seem that bad."

Tyrion knew he had offended the little prince, but he did not seem to be offended

"You seem kind of ok too." He replied sincerely.

The two shook hands and smiled. They were different almost the opposites, but they shared an immediate sympathy.

Cersei did not seem to have anything in common with Ceres. The child was so good and kind enough to irritate her, she smiled at everyone and everything, she loved everyone and was worshiped by all.

Cersei did not understand that Ceres gave affection and received it back.

For Cersei, Ceres was naive and childish knew nothing of life, she did not know a thing about anything, in her definitely empty head, there were only dolls and stuffed animals.

Ceres played with Lysa Tully, sometimes they played with Lysa's older sister Catelyn. Cersei always had the impression that the two girls do not deem her worthy, and the first time Lysa saw Tyrion, Lysa-stupid-cow-Tully, was crying out as if she had seen a zombie.

Cersei played much more willingly with Jaime and Tyrion, but Tyrion had his special lessons for children prodigies, so that at the beginning of the school year he would be able to climb over two or three years ahead of her .

'The boffin's club' was renamed by Jaime.

Cersei missed her brother, but to have the undivided attention of Jaime, who appeared to prefer her in his games to his sister, flattered Cersei.

They looked so much alike that Cersei dressed in his clothes could very well play the part of the boy.

Jaime had in fact cut his locks to look like her more.

Joanna was saddened, Tywin had crooked his mouth and Tyrion had exclaimed "We will hope that it doesn't come to his mind to cut his cock, to look more like you." Jaime had laughed tears and assured he wouldn't go this far.

Tyra had looked at her as if for the first time and had said, "You have him in the palm of your hand! You have a handy talent"

Tyra had been in a clinic to detoxify for nearly three months.

She defeated her addiction and while she hugged and kissed the children, she had thanked Joanna. She had told her story and pledged to be a changed mother.

The children had already heard many times those oaths, but Joanna was moved, she embraced her cousin and said the words that shocked her husband, "You should remain as long as you want. Casterly Rock is way too big."

Joanna had found her cousin a job as a saleswoman in a luxurious boutique.

They often shopped together and Joanna was always generous with her cousin.

With her hair perfectly groomed and cut, elegant clothes and first quality make up, the two cousins returned to resemble like sisters, finding this funny as the time they had been girls.

When Tyra was not with Joanna, at home with the children, she spoke ill of her lucky cousin.

Tyra was still cold with her daughter, even if she disguised it well enough in front of the others.

The only thing that really did disturb the children was Tyra's fixation for Tywin Lannister.

Although the children did not know other couples, even they had realized that the heart of scary Tywin Lannister beat only thanks to his wife.

"You had to see how he looked at me!" Tyra announced triumphantly, she wore a dress of Joanna and had managed briefly to confuse her cousin's husband.

"He would have looked the same way, if a monkey had worn the clothes of his wife." This earned the girl a slap and she was sent to bed without dinner.

"You do not know anything, stupid. You do not understand anything and you are not good for anything! And you think you're waving your ass to seduce the heir to the throne. You're even more stupid than I thought. You, my dear, you are not a real Lannister. You're a stupid bitch of the second class. Tyrion may be a dwarf, but he is a genius. You're a good for nothing"

Maybe she would have insulted her more if she learnt that Jaime came to see her every night to talk to her and share her booty candy

"Jaime, do you like me?" She asked him out of the blue.

"Why do you ask?"

She shrugged as if to say, 'why not?', and smiled her fingers playing with a ribbon of her nightgown, a nightgown she had worn in place of the usual pyjamas, finally she took away the game console from his hands.

Jaime said nothing and laid down next to her. Cersei knew she was not as good as him, but she played nonetheless, she played uninspired dying fast enough.

"I'm sorry Jaime, I'm dead" she stared into his eyes, pouting

"Never mind, it's only a game." He assured her, a few days earlier, he had quarrelled with Addam Marbrand for ruining his record.

Cersei had to suppress a smile. Good for nothing? Tyra would never be able to get Tywin's love, while Jaime ...

"Jaime, have you ever kissed someone?"

#asoiaf fanfiction #cersei x jaime #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #jaime lannister

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lovesexrelationships93-blog · 6 years ago

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My previous relationship from Tinder...

So Tinder?! What is Tinder? If you don’t know what Tinder is then where have you been? Tinder is a dating app you download to your phone. Calling it a dating app is cutting it fine for banging someone you potentially will never meet again.

BUUUUUUUUUUT… proudly I’m not writing about those shit times where guy/girls can be arseholes. I am currently in a relationship with a boy who I met through Tinder! So, here we go again.

1.) Why was I on Tinder?

I have been on and off Tinder since the age of 18! You might then that’s a young age, but being at university you don’t really want to be in a relationship. But also, you don’t want the rumours to spread but you still want to have fun? Then Tinder is for you.

2) Stigma

Of course there will be a lot of stereotypes about you being on Tinder. Being a girl, you are more likely to get called a slag, slut, whore ect but fuck it!! Seriously, some people need to grow the fuck up we need to get over this “girls needing to be prim and proper” malarkey cause this isn’t the 1920’s any more. Guys get called Jack the Lad and high 5, and I get hung out to dry?! Nah, I’m not about that life.

3) Why Reece?

Why not Reece?! Haha! No, but in all seriousness he is a lovely lad. I’ve literally never fallen so hard for someone in my life. I made him wait 2 months before I did anything with him (was that mean?). I would lay in bed watching pointless shit and chatting out my arse and he would still look at me like I was the only girl in the world. I think on Tinder I was definitely more forward to meet than him.

4) Dating sites?

I’ve been on so many dating sites…. Plenty of Fish, OkCupid, Badoo, Zoosk, Match and Oasis! I’ve had some some ups and downs with all of them from fake profiles, to fakes, to pricks! But would I use them again? FUCK YEAHHHH! I’ve made some great friends through online dating sites. Is that weird? I hope not.

So this is my experience of Tinder and dating sites… So I asked 7 people about their experiences of dating apps and site and this is what I asked:

What experience have you had on online dating/Apps?

Rachel: We used to play games with it in uni, my friends and I would swap phones and basically have banter with whoever we could find on there, and then one day got chatting to this nice guy, we talked for a few months before we finally met when he came into my work place to buy some stuff and it was the first proper time we’d met, even though we’d been talking for ages!

Rebecca: Tinder helped me find males in my area, get dates and meet one of my boyfriends.

Megan: I have mixed feelings about using Badoo as my relationship with my current boyfriend is not the only relation I have had from using it and the previous one didn’t work out. However, I think it is a more accessible way to meet people for those who are shy or find social interaction difficult.

Sinead: Tinder was awful for me, had loads of fake accounts and weird men messaging me, got talking to Emily off meet me though.

Jordan: He messaged me first after I matched with him through encounters on Badoo. We talked for 2 days straight before exchanging numbers. I was going away for the weekend and wanted to keep talking. We talked through text for about a week before arranging to meet up.

Sophie: I joined tinder last year and found it to be an experience of mixed emotions. Some of the messages I received from guys were offensive and some were funny. Overall though I would say it was a positive experience. It’s really interesting that you can swipe through so many people in such a short space of time. It gives you a lot more choice than you receive in everyday life.

Lauren: I always enjoyed tinder because it was nice to speak to random people. I got matched with quite a few weirdos but there were some who were really interesting and nice.

Was your relationship successful? If not, why? (This doesn’t have to be a personal response, It could be generic)

Rachel: Nah, he wanted to move too quickly and I’m not a fast paced girl. He’s a really lovely guy though. We’re still friends!

Rebecca: Successful at first didn’t work as he had a lot of problems but currently dating again.

Megan: I would say it has been the most successful relationship I have ever had and by far the longest and healthiest because chatting online gave us the opportunity to get to know each other and find out if we were compatible without the pressure of meeting face-to-face and it made the interaction easier when we did meet because we already knew about each other.

Jordan: It wasn’t successful. 2 months into the relationship he stopped talking for 2 days straight to catch up on programs as his internet had gone down. My friend messaged him to see if he was okay. He then dumped me saying my friends were getting involved and it didn’t feel like a relationship.

Sophie: It has been really good so far. We are getting to know each other more and more. He has met my parents and I’m meeting his soon.

Lauren: My relationship was successful, but I can imagine that some wouldn’t be as taking online doesn’t allow you to really get to know the person, can be write impersonal.

How long were you together?

Rachel: We were talking for about 6 months but were only a thing for less than a month.

Rebecca: A year.

Megan: We have been together for 14 months now officially and I have loved every minute of it.

Sinead: I’ve known her for 5 months, been with her for 3.

Jordan: Just over 2 months.

Sophie: So far we have been together for 4 months.

Lauren: We’ve been together just over 22 months.

Would you get in another relationship off tinder?

Rachel: Maybe. But it’s just the same generic guys on there a lot of the time.

Rebecca: If I met someone worth dating.

Megan: In my opinion, despite having met my boyfriend online, it’s actually healthier to start a relationship offline because people can lie about themselves online so I would say definitely if it didn’t work out with my boyfriend for any reason I would prefer to meet someone offline.

Sinead: I wouldn’t use tinder again.

Jordan: I’m currently in a relationship with someone who was once a friend but I would date someone off Badoo again.

Sophie: I don’t see why not. It’s an easy way to get in touch with other single people and even though some of the people on tinder can be strange, there are some genuinely nice people on there.

Lauren: I wouldn’t rule it out but I wouldn’t go long for it either.

Would you use another dating website/App?

Rachel: Sure, works for some people right? Most couples get together because of a dating app or website.

Rebecca: Yes, if I found it easy to use.

Megan: I would say no to using another dating website/app or even going back to Badoo because I think the online dating world is too sexualised now and it is becoming rare to find a man looking for an actual relationship. I would also say that as a vulnerable person who has been manipulated myself it can be quite a dangerous pastime as well as it can make it hard to tell a person’s true intentions behind the computer screen. I feel that meeting online robs you of a nice beginning story too like when anyone asks how you met you have to say online it doesn’t seem so romantic to me.

Sinead: If I were to become single I would use another dating app.

Jordan: There are some dating sites like Badoo and tinder I would use again. Some like Grindr and hornet I wouldn’t use.

Sophie: I wouldn’t be against using any other dating apps. The reason I used tinder is because it’s so popular and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about.

Lauren: I don’t know much about many other apps or sites but if I found myself single when I’m older I would consider using an app as I don’t have a lot of free time!

You might now be thinking “why didn’t you use their fully name?” Because I wanted them to remain anonymous. I wanted them to feel like they could open up to me as that’s good journalism.

So whether you have had an online relationship or not they are becoming more and more popular! If you are single why not give it a try! Remember to read my other article on safety online.

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