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anonymouspyt · 3 months ago

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The Studio Session 💌

Word Count: 4.9k

Warning(s): none

May 18th, 1987. Los Angeles, CA.

"All my Children will be back in a moment." the smooth tone of the voiceover boomed from the sound waves of the 1981 19-inch Hitachi-CT color tv. The commercials swiftly interrupted, flooding the screen with bright, attention grabbing advertisements.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Your legs were crossed and the base of your foot tapped lightly against the edge of the coffee table in your cousin's apartment. You were sitting on the couch, reading a magazine. You could hear your cousin laughing and your eyebrow lifted as you lifted your head up from the magazine. The current commercial faded into mere background noise as you focused in on your cousin, who was talking on the phone.

You'd just arrived in town last night, visiting from Georgia. Your cousin had always told you that anytime you wanted to come to L.A., you were more than welcome to stay with her, so you decided to take her up on that offer.

"Alright, I'll see you soon. Bye Michael." Your cousin, Siedah said with a light giggle and hung up the phone. She looks over at you with a grin.

You look over with anticipating eyes. "Soooo.." You grin at her before continuing, teasingly. "Was that Michael, Michael?"

Your cousin chuckles before answering you. "Yes Y/N, that was Michael Jackson on the phone. He wanted to touch base with me and make sure we were still on for our studio session today."

Suddenly, your interest piqued when you questioned her again, "Oh yeah.. it's that new song you're working on with him, for his upcoming album right?"

Now having your undivided attention, you recalled the moment she told you about the collaboration over the phone last week. It was just the other day when she was heading into session with Michael and Quincy Jones. Michael was still looking for someone to appear on the track, I Just Can't Stop Loving You, and what Siedah didn't know at the time was that both Michael and Quincy had decided to let her to be featured on it. They let her know once she got settled in the studio. She was so surprised when they gave her the news, you couldn't have been any prouder.

"Yup, the very one!" she replied, standing up and walking over to the coat rack to grab her black leather jacket. Siedah looked at you as she slid her arms in the jacket before she added, "We're meeting in West Hollywood within the hour. I gotta get going before traffic hits."

"How long does a studio session normally take?" You ask her curiously with a hint of nervousness.

Siedah shrugged as she adjusted her jacket on her body. "You never know how long a session is going to take. Hell, I never know. It could be a hour.. It could be 3 to 5 hours. Maybe even overnight.."

Still holding the magazine in your hands, you dropped it in your lap, reacting instinctively, and looked at her. "Overnight?!" You paused, taking in her neutral reaction. "What the hell am I supposed to do until you come back?" You said, frustration creeping in your voice. You weren't exactly thrilled to be cooped up in your cousin's apartment all by yourself in an unfamiliar city.

"I don't know cuzzo.. but hey, there's plenty to do out here to pass the time." Siedah said casually, trying to make light of the situation. She takes a step forward to look in the mirror and fix the collar on her yellow blouse. "You can catch a cab and go see a movie at the TCL Chinese Theater, head down to the Pier in Santa Monica, or you could even go to Disneyland. There's so much to choose from!" she added.

You sat there and listened to your cousin throw out these suggestions. They weren't necessarily bad options but they weren't great options either. You thought it over briefly until another thought comes to mind. The wheels in your mind began to turn and, a mischievous grin slowly curled at the corners of your lips as you looked at her.

Siedah assessed your current disposition and looked at you crazily before questioning you. "What?"

"Let me come with you."

She furrowed her eyebrows at you and asked a follow up question. "Come where?"

You give her a duh look, your tone matching it's expression. "To the studio." To make it clearer for her, you added. "Let me come to the studio with you." Your cousin looked at you with an unconvinced grin for a couple moments.

It's as if she considered it for a moment, but then she hesitates before saying, "I don't know Y/N.."

"Oh come on, it's not everyday that your super talented cousin gets to work with THE Michael Jackson!" You try to say in a more convincing tone.

"I don't know Y/N.. Michael normally likes to keep his studio sessions private." Siedah said while grabbing her purse from the coat rack.

You got up from the couch and walked over to her, shaking her shoulders. "Come on Sid, pleaseee! It would be so much fun!" You pleaded. She looked at you, still unconvinced that she should bring you along. "I won't say a word, I promise. If he doesn't want me in the studio with you guys, I'll sit outside in the lobby.." You lifted your hands in surrender, shrugging your shoulders. "The least he can say is no, right?" You added on as a last ditch effort.

Your cousin looked at you for a few seconds more and breaks the look with a grin. She groaned playfully, "Alright, let's go.." You squealed and hugged her tightly. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" "Yeah yeah, hurry up Y/N! We gotta go!"

You let go of her, looking at her excitedly. "Let me go put on my boots and I'll be ready. Give me two seconds!" You dashed off to the spare guest room she'd allowed you to use while you're in town. Kicking off your house slippers by the door, you open the closet door and grab your black leather stiletto ankle boots. You could hear your cousin fussing at you while slipping one of them on from the other room, "Y/N, Let's go!" Her footsteps echoed towards the front door, and you could hear the jingling of her car keys as she pulled them out of her purse.

"Okay, okay! Keep your pants on!" You sassed as you reached for your black Chanel handbag with the double flap and gold-tone hardware.

"Yo ass is about to get left!" Siedah retorted while unlocking and opening the door.

"Alright, I'm coming! Damn!" You hop out the room with one heel on and the other in your hand. Using your free hand, you throw your purse strap over your shoulder and slip the other heel on your foot.

You walk over near Siedah to look in the mirror at your outfit, adjusting the gold chain embellishments on the sleeve of your blazer so it will hang properly. You can feel Siedah's eyes burning the side of your face. Turning to face her, you teased, "Whatcha waitin' on? Let's go." you chuckled on the way out. Your cousin just rolled her eyes as you passed her by, leaving her to follow in behind you and close the door on the way out, locking it behind her.

𝄞𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈⭒♬ ﾟ.𝄞𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈⭒♬ ﾟ.𝄞𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈⭒♬ ﾟ.

The tires on Siedah's car come to a halt as she pulled into a parking spot next to a meter along the sidewalk. She turned the car off and reached in her coin purse to gather up some quarters. Once she had them, she looked over at you and placed the coins in your hand. "We're here." she said before getting out the car.

Holding the quarters tightly in your hand, you got out the car and took a good look at the building. "This is it?" You questioned your cousin, closing the car door and stepping onto the sidewalk to insert the quarters in the parking meter. It wasn't anything how you'd imagined it to look.

With a beige stucco finish, the studio has an industrial appeal to it. The studio has brown metal slatted louvers covering the long windows and the address number "8447" was cemented in brass above the doorway, simple but distinctive.

"Yup! This is it— Westlake Studios." Siedah replied, walking around the car from behind to step up onto the sidewalk. She continued walking until she reached the dark double doors and pressed the red button on the intercom next to it. "Mike Jack, it's Siedah. Let me in!" she said in a joking manner, taking her finger off the button. Your heart started pounding as you walked over to meet Siedah by the door. The magnitude of the situation trickled into your nerves like a thief in the night: You're about to meet Michael Jackson.

Shit.

The sound of the buzzer caused you to jump back a little. As soon as the door clicked, Siedah took the opportunity to open it, ushering you inside.

When you walked in, there were a plethora of different records plastered on the gold wall. From Luther to Chaka, so many legendary artists have their plaques displayed, almost like it was an official badge of honor. It was inspiring to see the records so up close in real time— so surreal.

"Siedah, you made it!" A smooth, velvety voice suddenly filled the room.

You turned over your shoulder and you see Michael Jackson, walking over to us. His broad shoulders are on full display with his black patched embroidered varsity jacket. Your lips parted ever so slightly as you saw him approaching, as if your body is already falling apart at the seams because of his presence.

Siedah hugs him as soon as he makes it over to her. "It's good to see you!" she hugged him warmly. A light chuckle escaped his lips when reciprocating the hug, giving her a light two pats on the back. "It's good to see you too." You observed their hug and couldn't help but think, he looks like he gives the best hugs.

Michael lets go of the hug and looks directly at you. "Who's this?"

When your eyes met his, you could've sworn your heart stopped beating for a few seconds. You've seen plenty of men with dark brown eyes in your lifetime but none of them compare to his. Hypnotic in their wake, the look in his eyes feel like a quiet invitation to draw you closer to him, an invitation you actually don't mind accepting..

Your cousin quickly remembered you were there and replied, "Oh, where are my manners? Michael, this is my cousin, Y/N L/N. Y/N, this is Michael."

He grins slightly and holds his hand out, "Hello.."

You place your hand in his large one, returning the smile. "Hi.."

Michael shook your hand gently. "It's very nice to meet you, Y/N." he said politely.

"Likewise.." You grin a bit wider when he says your name. It rolled off his tongue a little too good. If there was anyone else observing you, they'd might call you starstruck, but you couldn't help but stare at him. You thought to yourself, 'Let me let go of this man's hand before I get caught up...'

You cleared your throat slightly as you pulled your hand away, placing it by your sides. Siedah spoke up, "She's visiting me for the month and she was wondering—"

"She was wondering if I could sit in on your studio session today?" you cut your cousin off so you could ask Michael yourself. You spoke with confidence as you looked at him.

Michael just stared at you. It's almost if he was trying to size you up. Your gaze never faltered as he continued his assessment, studying you from the top of your curls down to the points of your boots.

He chuckled, clearly surprised by your sudden attitude, though it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest. "Okay, I don't see why not."

Siedah looked at him in shock, "Forreal?" This was surprising for her because Michael hardly ever invites people in the sessions with him. If you aren't working on his project specifically, you could not come in. And yet, here he was inviting you. He shrugged casually. "Yeah, it will be great to hear feedback from someone who's outside of the team." He flashed that charming Jackson smile to seal the deal.

"I won't mind giving it either.." you stated, referring to the feedback, of course.

Michael nodded, his smile unwavering as he turned his attention back to you. "Good."

You returned the smile as you continued looking at him. Siedah cut through the obvious tension in the air, saying, "Perfect! Let's get this show on the road, shall we?"

Michael looked at Siedah, grinned, and bowed sheepishly. "Yeah, of course!" he laughed, a bit embarrassed. "Follow me." he added, turning around. He veered towards the right, guiding us down the hallway. Your attention was now fixated on the occupied studios as you passed them by, more platinum plaques lining the walls with every step. It gave you goosebumps to know that you were walking down the hall where so many hit records had been made.

When we made it down to the end of the hall, you and Siedah stood on either side of Michael as he opened the door. You were met with a lacquered coated brown sign mounted on the olive green door with 'STUDIO D PRIVATE.' in gold brass lettering.

The minute he opened the door, your jaw dropped in awe. It was revealed that this particular studio spanned three stories. Though private, the atmosphere was incredibly welcoming. You took the opportunity to look around when you walked in. His own platinum plaques adorned the walls and his movie poster for Captain EO was pinned on the column right next to the studio entry way. To your right, a bathroom was tucked in the corner. If you didn't know any better, you might have mistaken this as an apartment rather than a studio.

"Watch your step, please." Michael warned quietly as he took a step up to lead you and Siedah in the control room. Upon entering, Quincy Jones was sitting infront of the sound board, chewing an apple. Bruce Swedien was sitting to his right, adjusting the knobs on the sound board.

Siedah walked over to both of them, giving them a hug. "Hey guys." Quincy patted her hand as she draped an arm around him and the other around Bruce.

"Hey Sid, you ready to rock today?" Quincy asked your cousin, tossing his apple hull in the trash. Michael stood near the doorframe next to you with his arms behind his back.

"You know it!" Siedah let go of them both and walked over to put her bag down in the single seat sofa in the corner. She took off her black leather jacket and yellow blouse, revealing a black midriff underneath. After tossing them next to her bag, she sifted through it to grab her water bottle, taking a couple sips to get her voice warmed up. Siedah decided to stay in the corner, clipping her locs with a duck pin out of her face as she continued to warm up.

Bruce turned over to see you standing next to Michael, causing him and Quincy to exchange looks before looking back over there. "Oh? Well who do we have here?" Bruce questioned, narrowing his eyes at Michael. Michael's cheeks grew hot and takes a couple steps over to the side, creating a bit of distance between you two.

Siedah walks back over to you and hugs your waist, "This is my cousin, Y/N. Y/N? This is Quincy Jones and Bruce Swedien, two of the most legendary record producers in the business!"

You wave at them both, "Hey, it's good to meet you both. I love your work. Both of you, I'm a huge fan!" You marvel at them as you walk over to shake their hands.

"Ah, thank you sweetheart." Quincy grins and looks over at Michael before looking back at you.

Bruce pats your hand and chuckles before answering, "Thank you, you're too kind. So Y/N, can you sing?"

"I can.. uh, I can carry a tune!" You grin bashfully. "But I'm only here to watch the session, if that's okay with you guys."

Quincy smirks a bit looking over at Michael. "If it's okay with Michael then it's okay with us! Are you okay with it, Smelly?" he said teasingly. The nickname caused you to look over at Michael with raised eyebrows and an amused grin.

Michael took note of your reaction to his nickname and smiled embarrassingly, shifting his gaze between you and Quincy, "Oh yeah.. I'm okay with it. Make yourself at home, Y/N."

You grin at him, walking down the two step staircase next the sound board to make your way to the white plush sofa that was sandwiched between the board and the window looking into the live room. You set your purse down as you looked over at him, "Thanks, I think I will." Though you said it politely, there was a subtle hint of flirtation beneath the appreciative comment.

As if the message was received, he sends a small grin your way. He now turns to Siedah who was coming his way. "Okay, let's get this party started!" she cheered.

Michael grins at her and says, "Alright, whenever you're ready Miss Siedah.." He gestures her to follow him in the live room and she does. He then walked over to the light switch to dim the room a bit, leaving a single spotlight over the two music stands placed in the center of the room and the tube condensers mics suspending from it's boom arm. He comes back over to Siedah, placed his hand on the small of her back as he lead her to her designated spot. They grin at each other and he pinched her elbow before making his way over to his spot.

Quincy pressed the mic button on the soundboard to cue them in, "Let's take it from the second verse." In the background, you could hear the audio from the tape machine distorting as it sped up.

"For this take, I really want you two to dig deep. I want to be able to feel the intensity of these lyrics— take me and listeners on the journey with you. Let's make it romantic, yeah?"

Both Michael and Siedah shuffled through their sheet music to pick up where they left off from the first session. Michael slipped his Ray-Bans wayfarers out of his pocket and put them on. Once adjusted, he glanced through the glass of the control room and gave a thumbs-up. Quincy acknowledged the gesture with a nod.

"Alright.. we're rolling..."

Clack. Clack. Clack. Clack.

The metronome struck in with a vengeance as the beautiful melody blared out, filling the room of its romantic energy.

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𝄞𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈⭒♬ ﾟ.𝄞𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈⭒♬ ﾟ.𝄞𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ 𓈈⭒♬ ﾟ.

Exactly two hours have passed and you were starting to get the impression that little moment you and Michael shared before he started to record with Siedah was nothing more than just common courtesy.

It appears what you misinterpreted as attraction between you and Michael, that interpretation should have been more directed towards him and Siedah.

The subtle glances at each other, the laughing in between takes, Michael's boyish grin when your cousin would speak to him and not to mention, he'd throw cashews at her forehead during the recording— it was a lot to sit through. It felt like you were intruding ontheir private time together even though there was a barrier of glass separating the three of you.

Michael would periodically glance through the glass in the control room as Quincy gave them feedback between takes throughout the session. His sunglasses added an extra layer of being guarded and reserved when receiving direction.

You couldn't help but sigh to yourself as you looked at him. His never shifting focus is to be expected but it almost felt as if you weren't even there at all— completely disregarded.

Soon enough, the session was over. Siedah and Michael were still in the live room but had stepped away from the music stands as they were off to the side talking about something. Michael had his hands in the pockets of his varsity jacket while focusing on her talking. She must've said something funny because you could see them both laughing from afar.

You watched them laugh and even though you felt a pang in your chest, your stoic expression remained intact. Your poker face was impeccable.

After a few more minutes, they came out of the live room to come into the control room. Siedah came over to you directly and Michael went over to Bruce and Quincy to go over a few things.

You looked at your cousin as soon as she came over by the arm of the sofa. "Sooo how was it sitting in on your first professional session?" She asked you curiously.

"It was cool. I really enjoyed it." You nodded at your cousin with a feigned smile before continuing. "The song is truly beautiful. You guys sound good together." You said that genuinely because even though you were a bit salty, you were not going to deny the obvious.

"Thanks cuz, it was really fun! Mike's pretty cool to be around.." Siedah beamed.

"Seems that way." You looked at your cousin. She grinned at you before walking up the staircase to grab her things. Returning to the couch, she placed the items in the empty space next to you. You watched her as she slipped her yellow blouse back over her black midriff and adjusted her locs in the process.

You hesitated to address the elephant in the room. It weighed on you, unsure if asking the question would change things between you and Siedah. You noticed Michael walking Quincy and Bruce out of the control room. It wasn't until you heard the door of the studio open and close that you saw an opportunity. "Can I ask you something?" you blurted out.

"Of course. Anything." Siedah reassured as she stood infront of you.

"Are you and Michael like...." you began, trailing off. "..together or something?"

Siedah busted out laughing, a little louder than she anticipated. "Girl, hell no!"

You looked at her like she had truly lost it. "You could've fooled me."

"Girl no, we're just friends. I know what it could've looked like but I promise you, it's nothing more than that."

"I don't know Sid, it really looked like you two had something going on." you said almost reluctantly.

"Y/N, we don't okay? Michael is just.. like that. I can't really explain it but when he's comfortable around people, he tends to get a little... overly friendly. He means nothing by it, I swear." Siedah explained as you continued to look at her.

You looked at her, confused. What does she mean by 'He means nothing by it.' You paused before asking, "Siedah, why are you telling me this?"

Siedah froze, looking like a deer in headlights and walked over to peep out the control room to make sure the coast was still clear. After a moment, she returned to you and grinned, "Michael likes you, Y/N."

You furrow your eyebrows at her. "Wait what?"

"Yeah. He kept asking me about you throughout the entire session. You didn't notice that man staring at you the entire time?" Your cousin asked bluntly.

The realization hit you like a ton of bricks. When Michael was looking through the glass window periodically, he wasn't looking at Quincy or Bruce. He was really looking at you.

"He was not." You said, looking at her in total disbelief.

"Yeah. He was. I kept trying to get him go in there where you were so he could ask you out, but he kept chickening out. I'd tease him about being a scaredy cat, and he'd just laugh it off. He may not seem like it, but he can be really shy at times."

You were truly caught off guard by this admission, hanging onto every word your cousin said as you sat on the couch. Siedah looked at you with a knowing smirk on her face.

"What?" you spat, shooting her a side-eye.

"I know why you wanted to know, Y/N." Siedah taunted you, folding her arms as she stares.

You roll your eyes at her, "You do not." you grin, amusement in your tone. Of course, she does. She's your cousin she knows you inside and out.

"I saw that look you in your eye when you meet him. You not foolin' nobody!" Siedah grinned. "You know you think that man is finee."

"Okay, whatever." You wave her off, despite her being correct.

"Uh huh, y'all would be cute together, cousinnn. I'm rooting for you." Siedah joked, throwing a playful wink your way. You couldn't help but laugh. After laughing with you, she continued, "Anyway, you ready to go?"

"Yeah, let me go to the restroom first then I'll be ready." You responded as you got up, watching her throw her purse over her shoulder.

"Mkay, imma head out. See you at the car?" Siedah questioned on her way out of the control room.

"Yeah, I'll be right on out." you responded as you walked out the control room with her.

The two of you parted ways. Siedah went straight for door to exit the studio while you continued on to use the bathroom conveniently placed next to the control room. Once inside, you sat there, processing everything you'd just heard. Michael Jackson is interested in YOU. It was something you honestly couldn't believe, but the longer you sat in there, the more you realized it might not be as far-fetched as it initially seemed.

After washing and drying your hands, you stepped out the bathroom and headed back to the control room to retrieve your purse. Just as you reached it, the studio door opened again.

You were in the middle of putting your purse strap around your shoulder when Michael walked back into the control room. The two of you silently stared at each other for a moment, the door closing breaking the silence.

"Oh h-hey.. I thought you left.." Michael spoke up, looking at you.

"I was about to. I came back in here to get my purse." you responded, resuming your motions as you adjusted the strap around your shoulder. He quietly nods in response. The room fell silent once again but the energy was different this time.

He put his hands in his pant pockets and leaned against the end corner of one of the pillars by the sound board. Behind those Ray-Bans, he was absolutely checking you out, he couldn't help himself.

Michael watched you walk away from the couch, heading towards him. He knew that you were about to leave. His mind was screaming at him to say something, to do anything, just to keep you in there with him— even if it was just for a few more minutes.

"So.. what did you think of the song?" Michael asked, breaking the silence once again. He had been waiting to hear your opinion all day.

You took the step up to be right at hip level next to the sound board, not too far from him now. "I liked it a lot, the song is really beautiful." you responded honestly.

Michael slinked off the pillar, he spoke smoothly, "And what if I think you're really beautiful?" he stepped forward closing the gap in between you, looking down at you. "What then?"

You felt your breath hitch at the sudden change in his demeanor. You were not expecting him to be so forward.

"I... I'd say you have great taste.." you responded while looking at him.

He chuckles a bit before licking his lips. "Well, I guess we both have great taste then.." he flirted with ease, tilted his head a bit while looking at you.

"I guess so." you grinned. "Where was all of this energy earlier?"

Michael returns your grin, "I guess I was just waitin' on the right moment." He takes off his glasses for you to see his beautiful dark brown eyes. "The moment feels right, wouldn't you agree?"

"I'm starting to think you might be right. So what's next, hm?" you ask him, a playful smirk etched on your lips.

"Well, that depends on you. What do you think should happen now?" Michael said with a charming smirk.

You stepped up to him, leaning forward to adjust the collar of his shirt, which was tucked into his varsity jacket. "Well, I think maybe you should do like my cousin said and ask me out." you retorted, maintained eye contact with him as you watched his cheeks turn red. He hadn't expected you to find out about that.

Michael grins wider before nodding impressively, "Okay.." He bites his lip while looking at you before continuing, "Let's make it official, how's Saturday night?"

"Saturday night it is." you grinned, smoothing your hands across his varsity jacket before stepping back, letting your hands fall.

Before you got too far from him, Michael caught a hold of your hand gently. "I'll be waiting, Miss Y/N.." he whispered as he brought your hand to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss there.

You blushed as you watched him lower your hand. Slipping it out of his grasp, you clutched the strap of your purse and said softly, "Bye.."

Michael flashed his charming Jackson grin in your direction once more. "Bye." He watched you leave, his gaze lingering until you were out of sight.

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dgaftilwedie · 3 months ago

Text

namgyu headcanons pt 1!!!!!

here are some silly goofy headcanons i have abt my favorite stupid idiot (affectionate) :3 i love namgyu so so so much... i literally have like 20 pages worth of headcanons that i want to post about him so TRUST... there will be so much more where this came from

first and foremost, BISEXUAL. yes, i am projecting. no, i don't care :3

he needs glasses but he refuses to wear them because he thinks they look lame as fuck

his hair used to be a lot longer but it got hard for him to manage so he chopped it all off and gave himself his signature fuckass bob

namgyu gets really cold really easily. his hands are the first thing to freeze up during the winter, but he hates wearing gloves, so he buys all of his hoodies a size or two up so they dangle over his hands more

his love language is obviously physical touch. it helps to ground him when he's feeling anxious (which is like, a lot)

he spends a lot of time gaming when he can. he's an avid rhythm game fan. he's really good at them, like, scarily good. he also plays games like gta v, postal 2, and mortal kombat. every now and then, he caves and plays fortnite with gyeongsu (who is constantly begging him) and it's fucking hilarious the way he's screaming every five seconds about how him and gyeongsu are in sweat lobbies

namgyu gets scared very easily but he LOVES scary things. scary games, scary movies... stuff like that

he likes to make really shitty raps and then beg thanos to use them in his songs

we've seen his tattoos... i just feel like he'd also really like piercings!! his right nostril has a hoop, his left eyebrow is pierced (it rejected the first time so he had to get it redone), his tongue is definitely pierced. he has three lobe piercings (two on the left, one on the right), two of which are stretched to about 00g. he has an industrial in his right ear and helix in his left. also a prince albert I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT

he's also been considering getting a lip piercing for a while but he isn't sure what would suit him best

he LOVES his gold jewelry so much... he thinks it looks expensive

when his hair is like, freshly washed, it's SO soft. like almost velvetty

he physically cannot stand still. he's constantly moving around, shifting his weight between his feet, bouncing around, making noises and/or mumbling under his breath, looking around for something more interesting

has literally the cutest sneezes. you'd think he's a fucking kitten. he HATES it because everybody he knows (except for minsu) teases him about it

HE WAS A SLIME KID.

his favorite food is teriyaki chicken skewers

he also really likes the flavor of coconut, but he hates the texture, so he usually just sticks to drinking coconut water

he smells like dark chocolate, wet autumn leaves, and cigarettes

on the contrary, he tastes like gummy bears

he gets very giggly when he's high. everything becomes a game to him and he can't take anything seriously.

namgyu gets so fucking angry at advertisements, especially for things like spotify or youtube premium. he'll yet at the ads and then either begrudgignly pay for whatever premium service is being offered (but in like, an angry, spiteful way) or he'll delete the app until he remembers that he needs it

he has a pet betta fish that he named after minzy from 2ne1

namgyu seems very douchey on the outside (and i mean, he kind of is), but he's completely different towards the people he loves. he's a lot softer, sweeter, gentler... kind of like a skittish cat. he doesn't like being around people until he does, yknow?

speaking of cats, namgyu is VERY catlike. sleeps a lot during the day, gets very sudden bursts of energy, follows people around, cocks his head to the side when he's interested or curious about it... he won't admit it, but he also loves when people scratch his head

he didn't learn how to drive until he was 22 and almost immediately got his license revoked for a DUI. he got it back but he usually just walks places now. when he does drive, however... he drives with one hand on the steering wheel. the other one is usually hanging out the window with a cigarette pinched between his fingers

namgyu does not give two flying fucks how hot it is outside. he has this one specific black zip-up hoodie that he NEEDS with him at all times.

#nyam >_<#i always get a little nervous posting my headcanons and idk why #</3 #a lot of these are me projecting onto namgyu #i can't help it!!!#i see a lot of myself in him #some of these might be a little ooc too idk #ignore any spelling/grammer/etc. issues im posting this at 3am #there will be more parts asap i prommy #namgyu #namgyu squid game #squid game 2 #squid games season 2 #squid game #namgyu headcanons #namgyu hcs #my fics!!

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transfemcwilbur · 5 months ago

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we all need to have a discussion on what queerbaiting is. because clearly no one knows

for clarification, dream has been unlabelled for what i assume to be more than half a decade now. nothing wrong with that, labels truly aren't that big of a thing to some people. the issue is that he's been marketing and profiting off of that. let me explain.

a person can't queerbait. a business, show, movie, game, can. why? because a person can do whatever the hell they want, they are not advertising it to a demographic and gaining money and influence off of that. dream is. a tv show can give us two male leads, or female leads, even a nonbinary and male/female lead, and tease us with romantic and/or sexual tension, flirting, etc. they can reel us in, making us buy merch, stream songs or episodes, and keep us hooked while never truly giving us a relationship or clarification of what those two are, sometimes hitting us in the face and making the male / female lead a opposite sex partner or otherwise. look at the wiki here. also,

dream (and mind you i was a dream fan up until 2020-2021, i know what im talking about and up until the grooming allegations where i quickly dropped it, i kept up with him and followed him on youtube and twitter) relied heavily on dreamnotfound. from the shop site to georges merch, to his own merch, etc. no one is saying dream, or george, are queerbaiting, and in order to prove otherwise they have to come out. they are saying the duo are queerbaiting because of the marketing and profit they get from views, (think of the moving in video w dream and george, or basically any video with the two of them) or merch from their sites, or collective trio site with sapnap. *that* is queerbaiting.

making a profit, targeting a specific demographic and bringing them in because 'hey, this is so cool that my streamers are like me.' that is queerbaiting. you cannot market a person, but you can market a relationship in the similar way some celebrities pull publicity stunts to gain more fame or attention. they gain money, or publicity because of it. there is nothing wrong with being unlabelled, but there is something wrong with actively selling a relationship to a demographic while not also pushing the other away. they sell their (perhaps personified? who knows) relationship to the demographic of unlabelled/queer folks in their community, and make a profit based off of that, even off of the straight cis ally's.

i've seen it firsthand with many shows or movies. its designed like that. it brings in money and keeps you on the edge of your seat if their 'really together' or not. there is nothing wrong with neither putting a label on their sexuality, or even how they present themselves. what's wrong is the obvious marketing tactic they use. that is what dream is doing. tubbo, and any others, are not forcing them to come out. i personally just want it to be addressed that they are in fact queerbaiting and using their queer & ally fanbase as a profit. because that's what it is. it's been almost half a decade, and they still profit off of it without ever disclosing it, because if they did they'd lose the profit on merch & views because that's what they rely heavily on if they admit neither are dating or even remotely romantically in a relationship.

i am not saying this in defense of dream. everything he is doing is wrong, from saying the r slur to everything now. i am saying this as queerbait has been thrown around with no one knowing it's proper origins. many unlabelled folks get backlash as 'queerbaiting' when a person cannot queerbait. i hope this helps, and i hope this is as clear and accurate as i can write it.

#so tired of this. use queerbait CORRECTLY. YOU CANNOT QUEERBAIT AS A PERSON #BUT YOU CAN AS A BUSINESS OR AS A FORM OF MARKETING.#THAT IS WHATS HAPPENING. SAY IT WITH ME.#dream #dream situation #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #gnf #tubbo #tommyinnit #sorry for the tags. this is about everyone i know that i mentioned or has been involved because of the situation i mentioned #also i don't like dream. but i felt as though this should clarify what queerbaiting ACTUALLY is.#<- written by a gay neurodivergent (autism and adhd <3) man #i dont lke dream at all. but i dont want those who are unlabelled to be attacked as 'queerbaiting' just bc someone fucks up like this.

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kylieswift31 · 10 months ago

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Taylor Swift and the Truman show

"Well, for me, there is no difference between a private life and a public life. My life... is my life, is the Truman show."

Tied together with a smile

Taylor is currently at the peak of her career as she's now breaking her own records and reaching a level of fame only seen by the greatest such as the Beatles and Michael Jackson. Yet underneath all that success is a layer of conflict due to the discrepancies between her private and public life. With closer inspection it is clear to see that Taylor has left a trail of breadcrumbs that reveal that she has been queer since the beginning of her career. The ‘love struck and boy crazy’ version we first saw of Taylor was supposed to be a temporary step in her career during the fearless era, but through a series of unfortunate events she has spent the entirety of her career in the closet.

Now with the ending of the rerecords and eras tour in sight, Taylor has begun to reveal the cracks in the facade of her public persona so that we can see who she really is underneath. Her performance of 'delicate' on the eras tour is a visual representation of this process. Throughout the song we slowly see cracks forming in the glass, one at a time until at last there are so many cracks the entire stage shatters into a million tiny little pieces.

But what causes the cracks?

Taylor.

And it’s all inspired by the Truman show…

Daily life

In the mirror

The first time you watch the Truman show, the focus is on Truman and his journey. He lives a normal life in Seahaven with his wife Meryl, has a successful career in finance and spends his free time with his best friend Marlon. There are small cracks in the facade of his picture perfect life from the beginning, but halfway through we reach a turning point as it becomes clear that Truman is also the star of a 24 hour reality TV show that broadcasts his life to the public without his knowledge. Every move he makes is being observed by the outside. And then when you get to the end of the movie you start to realise that not everything you saw was as it seems.

Taylor has several well known Easter eggs that reference the Truman show, but with further investigation we can discover that she also relates to his story on a personal level. In the song 'mirrorball' Taylor explores the theme of wearing a mask that reflects back what the viewer wants or chooses to see. Just like an iceberg, if we stop at the surface level of what we see of Taylor’s personal life, we’ll miss the depth of what lies underneath. Many of her music videos echo Truman's story in a way that leaves her truth hiding in plain sight.

Good neighbours

Truman’s day starts with a moment of quiet reflection as he gazes at himself in the mirror before greeting his neighbours on his way to work. “Good morning! And incase I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!” His iconic catchphrase is repeated each day. Even though Truman’s the only person in Seahaven who isn’t a paid actor, he’s having the same scripted interactions day after day. His life is centred around acting the part, just like everyone else. The only difference is that he’s wearing a mask to hide how he really feels underneath. Truman's day is very reminiscent of the groundhog day trope to highlight how scripted and repetitive his life has become.

Taylor's life in the public is very similar to Truman's now that she can't go anywhere without being recognised. The once unfiltered teen that was vocal on myspace has become selective and restrained with what she shares online after years of having her life picked apart for all to see. The chasm between Taylor's public and private life has grown to the point where removing the pop star mask will impact her career.

Product placement

The Truman show is sustained through the revenue generated from the products advertised on the show. The first time we meet Truman's wife Meryl is when she's showing him the latest gadget she's picked up from the store on her way home from work. This feels subtle at first, but as more products are mentioned throughout the show it becomes more obvious and the advertising feels more akin to a late night shopping channel. We start to see that everything from the decor, wardrobe and food they eat is for sale. Every aspect of Truman's life has become commodified to generate revenue and to keep the show running.

All the little Easter eggs throughout Taylor's 'lover' music video seem like personalised advertisements now that we’ve seen that they advertise memorabilia on the Truman show in a similar way. However, within her career marketing is an integral facet of Taylor's career. "When you realise the rules of the game you're playing and how it will affect you, you got to look at the board and make your strategy. But at the same time, writing songs has never been a strategic element of my career. But I'm not scared to say that other things in my career, like how to market an album, are strictly strategic."

Hidden in plain sight

It's not obvious at first that Truman and Marlon have found a way to communicate with each other honestly whilst remaining undetected. Truman is often sharing his plans of going to Fiji to get away for a while. However, when he's really planning to leave Truman says "Just between you and me Marlon, I'm going away for a while." This allows the viewer to believe that it's just another wishful thought about going to Fiji, but said in a way that lets Marlon know that he is serious this time. Beer seems to be both another advertisement and a signal to indicate that he's been sent by the director. "It's all true. It's all real. Nothing here is fake. Nothing you see on the show is fake. It's merely controlled." Later on when we're shown that the director is feeding Marlon his lines, it's clear that he has always tried to be as honest as possible with Truman.

Taylor mentions wine frequently through her discography. Perhaps this is to show us that her truth has become so watered down within her lyrics that she lost sight of who she was before. Taylor has changed up pronouns and added hidden meaning to words and phrases mentioned frequently throughout her discography. Through this process she has become incredibly skilled at seamlessly adding connections to multiple muses within a song.

The first crack in the glass

Everything changed

From what we can see, Truman has known from the beginning that he's been the central character within his town to some degree. Truman appears to be fairly content with the life he had created for himself, despite the confinement he felt (he hasn't known any different). This all came to an end when Truman realises that his father is still alive. This changes everything as the first cracks in the facade of his seemingly perfect life become visible.

Intercepted

A very similar experience happens with Taylor in the 'delicate' music video. We can see that this interaction leaves Taylor more aware of those around her. "People often greatly underestimate me on how much I'll inconvenience myself to prove a point…" In her real life there are several events we could attribute to being her motive for change including the sale of her masters (ownership of her first six albums) to investors, a relationship changing or something that affected her reasons for remaining closeted.

Chance of rain

We see Truman sitting at the beach reflecting on how his father drowned when he was a child. As it starts raining he gets up to leave, only to reveal that there's just enough rain to encourage him to get up and go home. We slowly start to see how manufactured these scenarios are. Throughout Truman's week there are planned situations that are designed to test for any changes in his behaviour, like if he's still petrified of the water. These actions reveal just how much pressure they've placed on Truman to prevent him from leaving. It leaves us asking how much free will does he truly have with his choice to stay or go? At this point it feels like the choice has been made for him.

Taylor recreates this rain scene in the 'lavender haze' music video. We see her sitting at the end of the bed with a rain cloud over her head while her lover is asleep. We can infer that Taylor is showing us that she identifies with how isolated Truman was feeling in this moment. Taylor has given up a lot in her personal life for the success of her career, but how much of that was her choice to do so?

Reflecting on the past

Truman goes back home and opens up a trunk full of childhood memories. He's looking at photos of his family while trying to make sense of what he saw with his father still being alive, and the implications of that. This is the beginning of Truman questioning how far those in his life have gone to keep up this lie. If his father is still alive then what else have they lied about?

In the 'cardigan' music video we can see that Taylor is reflecting on her past in a similar way, but this time through playing her piano. Both 'the tortured poets department' album and summation reveal a similar theme of reflection, but with an honest exploration of the agony that comes along with it. "Nostalgia is a mind's trick." This album is a reflection of her career, highlighting the toll it's taken on her personal life along the way.

The one that got away

Love triangles

As Truman pulls out a red cardigan from a plastic bag, we get flashbacks of his high school years. His attention is torn between Sylvia and his current wife, Meryl. During a moment alone with Sylvia they sneak away together, but she appears anxious knowing they don't have much time alone. They share a chaste kiss before Lauren gets dragged away by a man claiming to be her father. She hastily reveals that everything Truman knows about his life is a lie, that it's all done for him and that everyone is watching him. Her father claims that she is just having an episode and reassures Truman by saying that he's taking her to Fiji to receive more help. Sylvia's interaction with Truman is the catalyst for her character being removed from the show. This reveals that even in high school Truman's love interest was planned out for him, despite his attraction to Sylvia.

Taylor wistfully talks about the fictional teenage love triangle during the 'folkmore' set. She describes how James is longing for the one that got away, which seems to contain an element of truth from her past. In 'imgonnagetyouback' she talks about how she won't stop fighting until they're back together again. I tend to lean more museless, with the queer side of Taylor being the one she's fighting for most of all (and with any other muses being secondary to that). If we consider the love triangle from that perspective we can see that the muse she lost was a cherished piece of her history, but the part of herself she lost along the way is the one worth risking everything for to be able to feel whole again.

It's all in the details

Through the development of Sylvia's character we start to see the significance of the colour red. To the viewers at home it is a symbol of heartbreak and loss, and that Truman's attachment to the cardigan is based on his feelings for her. But for Truman we can assume that it is more like a symbol of hope that he might finally be free one day. Other symbols we see her wear include a red seahorse pin (their school mascot) a green bauble bracelet and the 'how's it going to end?' badge. When he reads the badge in the library he quietly admits that he's been wondering that too. This is the earliest insight we witness of Truman not being fulfilled by the life that has been scripted for him.

Many of Taylor's Easter eggs are a reference to the Truman show. These include Sylvia's rose shirt, the eras tour poster, 'karma' door, the song 'how did it end?' and many of her music videos. In the 'lover' music video there's also the bauble earrings, her lover has a seahorse patch on his jacket and the board games are Taylor Swift themed. These all seem like amusing connections until you pick up on the deeper correlations to Truman's story.

Cardigan

After Sylvia left, all Truman is left with is her red cardigan. Sylvia begs Truman to come and find her, but as the flashback ends we find out that Truman didn't follow her to Fiji at the time because his mother got really sick. Instead he settled down and married Meryl, while living with the loss of what could've been with Sylvia. After Truman finishes reminiscing about the past, he slyly reveals that the badge is still pinned onto the cardigan. This reveals that his attachment is not so much to Sylvia now, but to the idea of leaving one day so that he can be free to live his life authentically.

Taylor's song 'cardigan' is one of her most significant references to Truman's story. In the 'cardigan' and 'willow' music video we can see that it is a symbol of the memories she carries from her past and a reminder of what she's left behind along the way. The stars on the cardigan hold a similar sense of hope, just like Truman's pin. "You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleedin' 'cause I knew you." This imagery evokes the pain of carving into skin to emphasise the heaviness that comes with sitting with the memory of what could have been.

The bar

After Truman's flashback scene we get a glimpse of commentary from a bar as they're watching the show. This juxtaposition reveals how watching the Truman show is an ordinary occurrence during their daily lives, just like many of us tune in to watch the eras tour on a grainy live stream. The 'delicate' music video ends with Taylor walking into a very similar bar to meet up with a secret admirer, but it remains unclear which one is sitting there waiting for her.

Cracks in the facade

The one worth fighting for

Once the nostalgic moment is over we see Truman holding a photo frame of his wife Meryl. It seems like a loving gesture at first, until he turns it around and opens it up to reveal that he's been collecting a collage of facial features in an attempt to recreate a portrait of Sylvia from memory. This contrast between the memory and Truman's reality exposes how much he has sacrificed along the way by staying in Seahaven. Holding onto the cardigan, pin and picture of Sylvia is an act of defiance when everything else in his life has been decided for him.

Taylor left everything behind when she left her old label, including the ownership of her first six albums. She was not given the option of buying them back without having to commit to producing another album for each one she earned back. Unfortunately this is something many in the industry have had to endure. With hindsight we now know that Taylor was able to rerecord her past albums with added vault tracks, but at the cost of reliving her past. Taylor's back tattoo in the 'you need to calm down' music video conveys that the memory of her life's work was the only memento from her past that she was able to take with her.

Glitches

As Truman is driving to work again, his car radio starts glitching and he ends up on a channel that contains the directions everyone else is hearing in preparation for his arrival before work. From our point of view all of these mishaps are new, but there would have been flaws like this in the system a lot longer than that. But if Truman has known he was the star of the show from the beginning, what was the point of the movie? To reveal the truth to us, and the viewers at home, slowly over time. And to give us a chance to understand his point of view as we prepare for his departure.

We have seen plenty of glitches like this occurring in Taylor's performances on the eras tour, and many of these have been intentional (such as the screens glitching and swallowing bugs). This draws our attention to the cracks in her pop star facade, revealing glimpses of the person she is underneath. And just like Truman, she's giving us the opportunity to slowly adjust to the changes she plans to make in the lead up of what's to come.

Breaking down

Truman appears to be overwhelmed as he starts to reveal just how much of the town he lives in is choreographed around him. This is the start of Truman escalating his reactions to create more cracks in the facade, in the hopes that more viewers begin to see the challenges he faces living in the spotlight.

This purposeful increase in revealing more of the inner versions of themselves is exactly what Taylor is portraying during the 'delicate'' performance on the eras tour. Slowly allowing us to see them as normal people behind the larger than life character they had become in the spotlight. The way Taylor begins creating the cracks on purpose allows us to understand that what's to come is purposely being exposed.

Life's a stage

Truman attempts to enter an elevator, only to discover that it's fake. This is a big step towards seeing what's behind the magician's curtain the first time you watch the movie. When you watch it again this is the point where you start to discover how complex the set of Seahaven has become over time to keep the show running. Many elements of the town act as rest stops and exit points for the actors away from Truman's view.

Taylor pushes down the walls of the bedroom during the 'lavender haze' music video, revealing that the relationship had always been a facade to begin with. Interestingly, this is the only music video that we see begin after the clock ticks over to midnight. Just like Cinderella returns to her original state at midnight, so too does Taylor. This correlation to Cinderella's story implies that the lavender haze we see hidden beyond the walls of the bedroom is the most honest version of Taylor underneath everything else. Lavender is heavily used as a subtle reference by queer people, especially lesbians. Koi fish can be seen in all of the 'midnights' music videos except for 'karma'. They are well known for swimming against the stream, something many neurodivergent people experience feeling. Koi fish are often associated with the yin and yang symbol and together they symbolise balance, courage and perseverance, much like the song 'you're on your own kid'.

Turn up the heat

Invisible

As he seeks out his best friend Marlon for help, we learn that Truman feels concerned that he is being followed or set up for something. Marlon appears calm until Truman mentions that his father is still alive. It appears that this detail may not have been disclosed to the public. Truman demonstrates that everyone in the store is so preoccupied with fulfilling their roles that they will ignore him at all costs. This is a very unnatural reaction and wouldn't be a new discovery for Truman.

The bodyguards in the 'delicate' music video react in a similar way, just like the guards at Buckingham palace are trained to stay focused and ignore distractions. On an emotional level, this behaviour feels like no one is interested in you unless you're wearing the mask of who they expect you to be. "The actors were hitting their marks." Many neurodivergent people experience this disparity between who they are on the inside and the curated version they present for others to see. This act of reflecting back what the viewer wants to see is often done out of necessity to remain safe, but leaves the inner and truest version of oneself feeling invisible. "I want you to know I'm a mirrorball. I'll show you every version of yourself tonight." Unfortunately, you have to participate in their performance if you want to be seen, but the version you they see isn't who you truly are on the inside.

Just for you

After an evening together, Truman is left alone when Meryl offers to take his mother home. As the TV is playing in the background we hear how the presenter is incredibly specific when describing the next episode of 'show me the way to go home'. "Where we learn that you don't have to leave home to discover what the world's all about. And that no one is poor, who has friends." This is a form of subliminal messaging telling Truman that he's better off staying home, implying that there's no point trying to leave because they will prevent him every step of the way.

In the 'lavender have' music video Taylor is watching a similar weather station, but when she gets closer she pulls the screen apart to reveal that there's nothing but space and koi fish behind it. This likeness to Truman's story presents an intriguing insight into the obstacles and road blocks Taylor has faced as a queer woman throughout her career. The koi fish behind the screen also highlight Taylor's determination to challenge the status quo and how she has been working towards much needed change within the music industry.

I do not

Truman is flipping through a photo album full of photos of his family and life with Meryl. His mother stresses her desire for grandkids while she's still alive. Truman continues to look through the album after they leave. The final straw for their relationship comes when he reveals that Meryl had her fingers crossed when they got married, implying she was never fully committed from the beginning. Looking through the photo albums seems to be a weekly routine when his mother visits, so we can assume this wasn't the first time Truman's noticed this detail, the only difference is that he's pointing it out now because it's the next step in his plan to leave Seahaven.

Many of Taylor's music videos emphasise the facade she has played into of the life society expects her to maintain. This has become more evident than ever with her current relationship with Travis Kelce. They want her to fulfil the 1950's lifestyle as a happily married wife with two children, a house with a white picket fence, to stay home each day as a housewife and to serve her husband when he gets home from a long day at the office. 'The man' music video highlights the disparity between these expectations and the lifestyle men are usually celebrated for, so that we can understand that this isn't the life she wants for herself.

Undressed

After Truman attempts to confront his wife about the photo, he follows her to work in his pyjamas. She works at the hospital and claimed to be doing a leg amputation from the elevator incident, a story they made up to explain what he saw the day before. When he locates her within the hospital the actors are forced to begin the procedure to keep up appearances.

Taylor was wearing a corset with a pattern very similar to Truman's pyjamas underneath her blue dress recently while out with Travis Kelce and his friends. Everyone in the group was wearing matching pant and shirt sets, with Brittany Mahomes in actual pyjamas. This may have been a hint that Taylor's beginning to escalate the cracks in the facade of her pop star persona.

The failed escape

Predictable

Truman is sitting in his car when Meryl gets home from working at the hospital. When she gets in, he locks her in the car and attempts to leave town. "Blocked at every turn. Beautifully synchronised, don't you agree?" This is the point where he's revealing that he knows how predictable everyone around him has been, pointing out that the same three people keep going past on schedule.

Logically if Taylor knew what the roadblocks were before she left her old record label, she would have known how her opponents would retaliate after she left. "Blood's thick but nothing like a payroll." It seems likely that they were planning to sabotage her once she left, with her first album in particular. If they were predictable enough, Taylor could've had time to plan ahead to mitigate the damage done to her career. This could include holding back on releasing certain songs, which has now lead to the rumours of 'lover' vault tracks.

Just like clockwork

Truman begins to drive around the round about over and over again to highlight that he has figured out that the townspeople move around him like clockwork, but again this isn't new information to Truman. The director's attempts to prevent him from leaving are incredibly predictable and they always have been. Truman would have been able to pick up on this pattern when he was still in high school, if not earlier. "When you're young they assume you know nothing." The benefit of them being this predictable is that Truman could foresee their reactions and blindside them when they least expected it.

Taylor uses many clocks throughout her music videos as easter eggs and to draw our attention to time and dates that might be relevant in the future. One element of interest is the concept of routine and the predictability that comes with that. The arena in 'the hunger games catching fire' seems to be inspired by the Truman show as well. Katniss figured out that there are new threats in each segment that changed on the hour, ending with a lightning strike at noon and midnight. This kind of predictability allows one to plan in advance. Three years perhaps?

Planned to fail

After driving around in circles Truman claims that they're headed to Atlantic City, only to find out that the end of their street is blocked up with traffic. He concedes to going back home after all, just to announce suddenly that he has changed his mind. As Truman doubles back and attempts to leave for the second time, he discovers that the traffic jam had magically cleared up after they left. He was accurate in predicting that his plan to leave would be counteracted by some form of intervention. Truman's actions are forcing the director to reveal his hand, only to call his bluff and get further than the director expected him to. And despite her fear, Meryl is still putting on a performance for the camera here too.

It's a possibility that Taylor set up a similar scenario to unfold with the release of her 'lover' album. The contrast between the aesthetic and themes of the 'reputation' and 'lover' albums could have been done on purpose to blur the lines between the two in an attempt to mitigate the damage done from being sabotaged. Underneath the vindictive theme of 'reputation' was the romantic songs her opponents had been anticipating from the 'lover' album.

The bridge

Truman stalls at the bridge due to his fear of water but forces Meryl to drive across while his eyes are closed, willing to do whatever it takes to leave. "We're over the bridge!" he exclaims when they make it across. As Truman continues to escape, they are still faced with roadblock after roadblock. The escape plan eventually fails when the road is blocked because of a leak at the nuclear plant. They thank the officer for his help but when the officer says "you're welcome, Truman" he runs away from the car in a panic, but is quickly captured and returned home again.

Taylor draws attention to the bridges of her songs at the very beginning of the eras tour because they are the most authentic lyrics in all of her discography. She often begins a song with a very optimistic perspective, only to end with the most brutally honest observations of her experiences in hindsight. Taylor has told us that she tells lies. In 'love story' the lie is that she's singing about being in love with Romeo. When the perspective changes during the bridge, she's being honest when she describes being in love with Juliet and wanting to marry her. In 'lavender haze' we hear how stifling it's become to continue hiding her truth. "The only girl they see is a one night or a wife. I find it dizzying, they're bringin' up my history. But you aren't even listening." If we don't listen to what Taylor is saying during the bridges, we are avoiding her truth.

The turning point

What was once lost

When they return home Truman confronts Meryl, but she calls out for help and Marlon arrives with beer. Meryl leaps into his arms crying as he comforts her, but he's looking at Truman when he says "everything's going to be okay, it's all going to be fine." The next scene cuts to Truman and Marlon sitting at the end of an unfinished bridge together as Truman begins to tell Marlon what he's been through. "Maybe I'm losing my mind, but it feels like the whole world revolves around me somehow." Marlon replies by saying "The last thing that I would ever do is lie to you. I mean, think about it Truman. If everybody is in on it... I'd have to be in on it, too." The screen cuts to the director feeding him the lines but we can also see that Marlon has been as honest as he could be within his role on the show. To placate Truman and encourage him to stay, he is reunited with his father who he hasn’t seen for 22 years. Truman seems apprehensive about the reunion, but Marlon encourages him to go along with it.

In the 'willow' music video Taylor enters a glass display case and starts performing for the crowd of an old fashioned circus. As her lover approaches for the first time they reunite through the glass pane but it feels like the glass was intentional to keep them apart, despite their intentions to be together again. This imagery is echoed over and over again throughout Taylor's music videos and the eras tour. We can interpret this as a visual representation of being closeted in plain sight or as a form of protecting something that's delicate. Judging by the way they all end up shattered in the end, they seem to be foretelling what's still to come.

Test run

Truman was never really planning on leaving the first time because he had planned to fail. There are a few benefits of acting in this way. Firstly, we know that Truman had never crossed the bridge before and his attempt forced the director to play his hand by revealing what obstacles were ahead if this was his exit route. Enacting his bigger plan before seeing what was ahead would mean that he's more likely to fail if he crosses the bridge while under prepared for what is on the other side. Secondly, if everyone has assumed that he has failed, they won't see his bigger plan coming if they believe he's feeling defeated. They placated Truman by reuniting him with his father, but that backfired on them when he escaped when they least expected it.

Taylor mentions that "Every bait and switch was a work of art" in 'mastermind'. I wasn't sure if I was using this term correctly when search results were full of business examples and psychologists were linking it with the act of gaslighting, but the type of bait and switch I was intrigued by is akin to a chess move. This type of move is often referred to as the 'queen sacrifice'. By purposely leaving the queen unguarded, your opponent is lured into the trap, only to be met with a devastating counter attack. This, and the element of a trial run before the big reveal, is what lead me to consider that the 'lover' album may have been used as bait for the sale of her masters. If she alluded to coming out straight away to entice the sale that was going to happen anyway, that obstacle wouldn't get in the way of her bigger plan. (It is not my intention to imply that this theory is true, so this is just a hypothetical option in favour of the bigger picture.) If this was a prelude for a bigger plan, it still would have been extremely devastating when it did happen.

The show must go on

This is the turning point in the movie when we begin to see Truman's life from the directors point of view. "An entire human life recorded on an intricate network of hidden cameras, and broadcast live and unedited 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to an audience around the globe." We start to find out how they had to manufacture ways to keep Truman on the island. His father dying played a big part of that, but to the viewers it's just another plot twist in the show they've been watching for entertainment. They have 5,000 cameras around Seahaven now, but started off with just one before he was born and they've been watching Truman's life unfold ever since. "We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented." This is the director's response as to why Truman has never left Seahaven or found out about the show. This contradicts everything we've seen from Truman's point of view. Just because he could leave doesn't mean he could leave freely. How much harder does he have to try before the director will let him go? He goes on to explain that with Meryl's decision to leave the show, a new love interest will be introduced and he has hopes for the first on air conception to occur. It's evident that Truman leaving would derail the directors plans for the show going forward.

Taylor has described how writing a song is like sucking the snake venom out of a bite. Expressing herself creates distance between the heaviness of what she's experienced and I believe this is why she sees herself as the narrator (or director) of her discography at times. During the 'folkmore' set on the eras tour she describes herself as the narrator of the teenage love triangle. It's also common for Taylor to be more than one character at once. At the end of 'the man' music video we discover Taylor is the director, and then it's revealed that Taylor was also the male actor that had been wearing a disguise. This implies that Taylor is James in the love triangle and based on the evolution of her speech, we can infer that as the director she chose Betty in the end. This feels like a clue that we should consider that she has been showing us her version of events from different perspectives all along.

The doll house

Everything on the show is for sale, including their wardrobe, food products and dollhouse style versions of the homes they live in. These elements are jarring after seeing the level of animosity Truman was experiencing with each road block he faced. It feels like they've overstepped a boundary by consuming every detail of Truman's life.

In the 'lover' music video, we first see the lover house is within a snow globe and our first shot of Taylor is through the peephole. The couple dancing throughout the house seem to be sharing a romantic moment, but the entire experience feels voyeuristic. No rooms are off limits as we see them in the bathroom swimming inside of a fish bowl. "Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?" plays at the same time. It feels like we're asking that of her. It becomes uncomfortable to realise how much we want to have access to every detail of her life.

Back to normal

Headquarters

Not only is Seahaven contained within a dome, the director and his control centre is housed within the moon structure. From the interview with the director we can ascertain that he doesn't usually reveal this much behind the scenes, but the return of Truman's father required some damage control.

The vault in the 'I can see you' music video is reminiscent of the moon shaped structure the director worked out of. The connection between these and the overall theme of the music video reminds me of the scene in 'the hunger games mockingjay' where they rescue Peeta from the capitol, only to find out he was trained to attack Katniss. This scene has an eerily similar asylum vibe like the 'fortnight' music video as well.

The mask

The next morning we go back to Truman in the bathroom again, as if he's just started another regular day. He seems cheerful as he's using a bar of soap to draw an alien outline on the mirror, while at the same time implying that he feels alienated in real life. This facade of normalcy he is presenting after his plan had failed is on purpose to lull the director into a false sense of security. If everyone thinks he has given up and believes he is resigned to staying after all, nobody would see his final escape plan coming.

Just like Taylor showed us with the visuals of the delicate performance on the eras tour, the mask is breakable. Now that we know that Taylor is the one breaking down the facade herself, it becomes harmful to refuse to see Taylor for who she really is underneath the pop star persona. And just like with Truman leaving in the end, Taylor has shown us that she's choosing herself now, regardless of the consequences. So we can either choose to join her, or sit back in defiance until she walks away.

Back to work

As Truman returns to the office it becomes more obvious where all of the cameras have been hidden in plain sight. They're everywhere, including inside his pencil sharpener. But the least obvious camera is the one Truman is wearing, his wedding ring. This came from his father, something he purposely gave to Truman as he was supposedly drowning. He never took it off because it was a reminder of what he had lost at such a young age. Truman was able to escape in the end because he took the ring off and left it behind. They had no way of tracking him if he wasn't wearing it. In hindsight we can see that Meryl's necklace also contained a camera that was used frequently.

If all of the moon and black holes references are a codeword for cameras or surveillance in the Truman show, we can consider that Taylor has used them in her music videos in a similar way. 'The man' music video begins with a similar office scene with a man who is charming and magnetic, but the wink at the camera implies that he's also putting on a performance. At the end of a work call Truman mentions that "life is fragile" after he's introduced to his new love interest. Just like Truman's comment, Taylor has used the word delicate to to describe the fine line between the brittle nature of the facade and how easily it could all fall apart, like what occurs during the 'delicate' performance.

This place is mine

After Meryl left, Truman moved down to the basement. This is the only room in the house that contained anything that was truly personal to Truman with his padlocked chest of mementos and remnants of old hobbies. But on top of all this it was also the room with the least amount of cameras, making it the perfect place to hide.

In the 'lover' music video the only space that is personal to Taylor is the attic, and it’s just like Truman's basement as both rooms are typically used for storage. If you look closely you can see a familiar trunk to the side as she's reminiscing over old pictures on a projector. On the eras tour the only real piece of the lover house is the attic seen throughout the 'folkmore' set, the rest was burnt away on screen and ever since the setlist changed it has been falling over instead. This change reveals that it was a facade all along, similar to how we begin to see behind the scenes half way through the Truman show.

The escape route

The map

Truman's desire to travel to Fiji is heavily featured as Truman's motivation for leaving Seahaven. There's evidence of this throughout the basement, including a large map of the island. Was this really his dream destination? No. Talking about going to Fiji encouraged the director to reveal his endeavours to prevent him from leaving. If Truman was constantly being challenged with his fear of the water, he was also being exposed to potential exit routes and obstacles. Truman's desires to go to Fiji was a facade to masquerade his true intentions of plotting his escape without raising suspicions.

One of Taylor's latest songs explores wanting to escape to 'Florida!' and reflects Truman's dreams of moving to Fiji. Another map Taylor has shown us in her music videos is the man wall. It's seen as a road map for her future rerecords with the end goal of coming out as queer, similar to what Elton John did at the peak of his career. Now that we can see that Truman revealed his dreams to travel as a means of testing his opponent, we can begin to understand that Taylor may have used her attempts to come out as queer in a similar way. If Taylor had expressed her intentions to come out of the closet behind the scenes, she would have been reminded of the challenges she would face if she did so. We see a small portion of this scenario play out with political discussions during the 'Miss Americana' documentary.

Behind the curtain

The director is concerned about Truman being asleep in the basement so Marlon is sent to investigate. When he arrives he finds a decoy in the bed and a tape recorder of Truman snoring. As he searches the rest of the basement, he pulls back the map to reveal what's inside the closet. This is the moment everyone discovers that Truman has escaped and that the map of Fiji was a disguise for his master plan all along.

The man wall is the most fundamental Easter egg for many Swifties, with endless theories on how to decode it. But what if the biggest Easter egg of all is actually set up as a trap to draw our attention in, so that we become so focused on it's significance that we don't notice the bigger picture? The subway wall is made up of small square tiles, with Taylor Swift themed posters and the rerecords written with spray paint over the top to mimic graffiti. But if you look even closer still, you will see that there's also a crack down the middle of the man wall map. This suggests that there's something hidden behind it, just like with Truman's map.

The tunnel

When Marlon opens the closet in the basement, we discover that Truman had dug a hole through the ceiling and this is how he escaped. Marlon climbs up the stepladder and we see his head pop out of the hole in the garden. We could assume Truman began digging this hole after Meryl left because we can see he left behind the same multi tool that she advertised in the beginning, but he was in the middle of digging in the same spot when she came home that day. All we had seen was an awkward shot of Truman from behind as he was working in the garden bed. Truman also purposely left patches of grass unmowed so he had an excuse to be frequently working on the old lawn mower in the basement, something that was quickly replaced once Meryl left.

The ending of the 'delicate' music video is what sparked this deep dive into the Truman show. I discovered that the bar Taylor enters is called the gopher, an animal famous for digging holes underground. This unexpected connection to Truman's method of escape was unbelievable after picking up on many of Taylor's hints towards a departure.

The trap door

If Truman had been digging a tunnel in the garden from the beginning, how did he get away with it? He disguised the hole by filling it with balls and rocks in just the right size that were painted to look like garden ornaments. This is echoed in the scene where Truman is telling Marlon about how he wants to go to Fiji. Marlon asks if Fiji is near Florida, so Truman demonstrates with a golf ball to show that it's practically on the other side of the world. The way Truman is describing it implies that the tunnel is hidden on both sides in a place where the cameras can't find it, and all that's left now is to plan his escape route.

Taylor’s version of Truman’s golf ball is the painted nails aligned with the 2 and 8 on the karma coffee cup, pointing to where her journey through the tunnel starts and finishes. Other ball shaped references include the pearl coloured balls floating around Ice Spice in the 'karma' music video, the golden orbs in the 'willow' music video and the tennis balls in 'the man' music video. When Taylor attempts to leave the glass case in the 'willow' music video, she finds it has been boarded up. She tries to find a way out through the glass, only to reveal that she knew that there was a trap door underneath her feet the entire time. We hear the lyrics "I come back stronger than a 90's trend" at the exact same time Taylor goes down the tunnel. And which trend is she referencing? The Truman show, of course.

Leave everything behind

Cut transmission

Once the director had realised that Truman had really escaped, he was left with no choice but to cut transmission on the live broadcast for the first time since the show began. Panic ensues for the viewers who didn't see this coming, meanwhile we see Sylvia watching from home in anticipation. Ratings for the show are at an all time high as everyone at home waits to find out what happened to Truman.

It's interesting that Taylor drew inspiration from this loading screen for the eras tour poster considering it's a reference to the moment Truman escaped. It draws a very clear parallel to his story, implying that what we're watching on the eras tour is the Taylor version of the Truman show.

Lost at sea

It's unclear how long Truman had after he escaped before the search party started. At first it seemed possible that Marlon left the car door open when he arrived for Truman to escape, but it's more likely he was just in too much of a hurry. It' seems 's likely Truman had some time to escape on his bike undetected. His fear of water meant checking the ocean would be the last place they would think to look for him, which is exactly what happened.

This moment after Taylor entered the bar in the 'delicate' music video reveals a sense of clarity just before she opens up her eyes. The ending of Taylor's story is yet to happen, but from what she's said throughout the tour, she's not planning on slowing down anytime soon.

The note

As Truman sails off we see him pull a note out of his pocket. All he took with him was the collage picture of Sylvia. This symbol of hope for his future was the only thing he took with him. "The only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores."

When Taylor left behind her life's work and started over by herself, she carried a picture of the one that mattered most with her when she left as well. If you look close enough at the man wall, you can see a polaroid shaped outline underneath the black karma letters, as if something that was once there had been taken away. Just like Truman's collage picture, this missing piece represents the secret note from the 'delicate' music video. The one piece of evidence that meant something to them, when so much of their lives were full of half truths and lies. And what's on the polaroid picture? Proof that Taylor is queer... "Like a rainbow with all of it's colours."

It's time to go

Almost drowned

Once they locate Truman as he's escaping on the boat, the director utilises his power to create a storm to derail Truman's attempt to escape. When his first attempts to force Truman to turn back fail, he orders the workers in the control room to hit the boat with the largest wave with to intentionally capsize the boat. They object to risking Truman's life, but the director goes ahead anyway. The wave overturns the boat and Truman almost drowns. As the director escalated his attempts to make Truman stay, it became clear that he would rather let Truman die than watch him leave if he refuses to stay. This highlights how unethical the director's attachment to Truman and the show had become over the years.

In the 'cardigan' music video we see Taylor clinging to her piano in the ocean, just like Truman did with his boat. This shows her determination to fight for her future despite the cost. The trap door Taylor escaped out of in the 'willow' music video is just like the exit points under the stage of the eras tour. Taylor's most iconic exit is after the surprise songs when she dives into the stage. Her character then swims against the current just like Truman did and when she reemerges again it's for the beginning of the 'lavender haze' set.

The getaway boat

Despite the director's attempts, Truman recovers from the storm and sails far enough that his boat crashes into the side of the dome wall. Truman managed to escape Seahaven after a lot of planning, but I think he had some help along the way. If Marlon was aiding Truman's escape plans, he would have been a crucial liaison behind the scenes. Throughout the interview with the director we get a glimpse of Sylvia and find out that her home is full of anti the Truman show propaganda. These include pictures of cast members that could be open to joining their side, with Marlon listed as being their best bet. It's possible the protestors worked together to smuggle Truman's father into Seahaven to encourage Truman to leave. One of the posters shows a young Truman in what appears to be a pizza themed clown costume. Pizza is mentioned a few times by the control centre workers and by the security guards of a car garage. This could be the common factor connecting the protestors helping Truman escape, as well as providing an inconspicuous meet up place to swap information that wouldn't draw attention.

Just like Truman had help, Taylor had a team working together in the 'I can see you' music video. This depicts an alternate view of Truman's escape, with a team breaking in from the outside to rescue Taylor from the vault. Many of the guest appearances in Taylor's music videos are representing the other side of Taylor, more so than any particular muse. Many of the scenes featuring Ice Spice in the 'karma' music video also mimic the ending of the Truman show.

The stairs

Truman found the stairs that lead to the door and is so close to leaving behind the only place he's known. All of this is unfolding because Truman reached a point where his own wellbeing was more important than the character he had been portraying for the audience. Sylvia warned him in the beginning that everyone was watching him. This would have confirmed any suspicions Truman already had and lead to a life of being on high alert knowing he was being monitored at all times.

Both the public and private sides of Taylor have experienced the same restrictions over time, forced to keep a large part of her life hidden from others at all times. The scene with the moon and Saturn implies that an alternative ending to Truman's story is in store for Taylor. The moon was the home of the control centre watching over Truman day and night. Capturing the moon and Saturn in the 'karma' music video suggests that both sides of Taylor have worked together to reclaim the role of director, and are now working together to rewrite their story so that they can reunite and move forward together.

Captive

Finally in a last ditch effort to persuade Truman to stay, the director talks to Truman for the first time. It's clear the director has grown attached to Truman to the point that he doesn't see Truman beyond the character he's crafted over the years, but he only sees the public persona of Truman. The director is pleading for Truman to stay, to let the show continue as it is and claims that he knows Truman better than he knows himself. "You've never had a camera in my head!" is the only thing Truman says in defence. This sentence epitomises everything Truman has experienced living in Seahaven. After all, he was wondering when it was going to end when he was still in school. If the director truly knew what was best for Truman, he would have ended the show years ago.

When Truman told the director that you can't see inside my head, we can assume Taylor is trying to say that we can't see inside her heart. During the 'Me!' music video Brendon Urie opens a heart shaped door that reveals what's inside his heart. This implies that the music video revealed what was in Taylor's heart from the beginning. "When it's like, "me-ee-ee," it's like dancers, cats, gay pride, people in country western boots. I start riding a unicorn, like just everything that makes me me." This is how she describes the music video during the 'Miss Americana' documentary. "And for a fortnight there, we were forever." I believe this is a reference to the fourteen songs on her 'debut' album. Her first and potentially most authentic album is full of songs she wrote before she became famous. And then beginning with 'fearless', Taylor actively added in male muses to her songs to camouflage her queer identity. Unfortunately this was also the beginning of the gap between her public and private life growing apart. Looking back we can see that despite the pain this caused, she never lost hope of reuniting them again.

How did it end?

The final bow

The Truman show challenges our perception of how ethical it is to have such unobstructed access to Truman’s life. We’re left questioning if our entertainment was worth the price he was paying by spending his whole life living in the spotlight. He bows for the audience watching at home and ends with one final “Good morning! And incase I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night!” before he turns and walks through the door. The director was left with a look of disgust as he realised Truman had been preforming for the audience all along. Those who had seen the signs watched on with anticipation and those that didn’t were left feeling shocked and confused.

At the end of a theatre performance, the cast will come back on stage one last time to give their final bow of the night as the audience applauds the performance they've just witnessed. We then have to consider that Truman and Taylor's final bow was an acknowledgement of the fact that they had been putting on a performance the entire time. Just like in 'the manuscript', "looking backwards might be the only way to move forward." Going back through Taylor's history and finding the bread crumbs she left along the way will help us understand that the queer version of Taylor had always been there, we just had to know what we were looking for to be able to see it.

The door

As he steps through the door we wait in fervent anticipation to see how Truman's story ends, only to watch as the credits start rolling without an epilogue. This feels frustrating when we had been hoping to see Truman and Sylvia reunite after many years. Instead, this kind of ending is encouraging us to go back to the beginning and reconsider the story through a new lens after learning about how it ended. Each time you rewatch it you can pick up on the deeper layers of the story, seeing more evidence of Truman's discomfort from living an inauthentic life, and how much determination it required to overcome the challenges he faced along the way. Any further explanation would have diluted the magnitude of the moment Truman felt free for the first time in his life. Just being able to walk through the door in the end was the ultimate accomplishment.

The story Taylor has been showing us was never a revelation of her muses, but a slow unravelling of her experience as a famous person who has had very little privacy throughout her life. She's giving us a peak behind the curtain and allowing us to see who she really is beyond the larger than life character we've all built her up to be. And whether we like it or not, she choosing herself now above all else.

The only difference between Taylor and Truman’s story is that Taylor’s not leaving, she’s simply just stepping out of the closet.

Meet me at midnight?

After turning a pumpkin into a carriage and creating a fancy dress to wear, the fairy godmother forewarns Cinderella before she leaves for the ball.

“You must understand, my dear. On the stroke of 12, the spell will be broken, and everything will be as it was before.”

The same is true for Taylor.

No matter how much she accomplishes in the spotlight, she is always going to be the truest version of herself underneath the layers of her pop star persona.

"Dear reader, will you still want me when I'm nothing new?"

When the clock strikes midnight, are you still going to want Taylor when you can finally see who she really is underneath?

Who she has been all along?

"A pathological people pleaser who only wanted you to see her."

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

🧡

#taylorswift #the eras tour #the truman show #Taylor Swift the Truman show #gaylor #🎃 anon #taylor swift music video analysis #taylor swift eras #meet me at midnight #friends of dorothea

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tubasmiracle · 6 months ago

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Merry Christmas

Pairing: Soobin x y/n

Genre: Pure fluff ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

Word count: 900 (approx.)

Author's note: it's almost Christmas time, it's not celebrated here but I like the vibes. This is my first, like very very first, proper oneshot, I like it, it's not the best, but it can't be anyway, what's important is I like it hehe. If you want to say something, anything, you are free to drop that in my inbox or dms! Let me know how you like it please!! I would love some feedback!

Song for this:

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The end of December was in full effect. People were swarming the streets; after all, it was Christmas Eve. Who wouldn't? Through the glass windows of the shop, one could see the television channels advertising and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas, chiming bells, and singing carols; it was all so beautiful. Soobin was taking it all in, as much as he could, relishing in the festivity of Christmas, refreshing his mind and eyes after a few long months of relentless hard work.

There he saw, in the corner of his eye, a stranger, running as fast as they could amid the crowd and the snow falling. They went into the telephone box, hastily dialling a number, though were their hands shivering? It was not working so well; he could not tell; they were wearing red gloves. This scene was kind of interesting, and being a little nosy would not hurt anyone, right? So, he went closer, keeping a respectful distance. Like the stranger he was, he realized it was a girl, first of all, and she was dressed up prettily. He was reminded of the Red Riding Hood movie actress.

He could see that, despite her desperate manner of trying to call, it was not working; her eyes were now looking outside the box and met Soobin. She gestured for him to come to her and asked, "I am sorry, but my hands are injured; could you please make a call for me? I am y/n."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. I am Soobin." Soobin said and took the telephone handle.

"983-4-738219," y/n recited.

Instead of a ring or a pick-up, he heard the on-hold music.

"this cold season you are the only warmth

You're the comfort, we fall in, fall in love

Over the white snow that settled silently

Our hands almost brushing

Taking one step another step my heart races this Christmas"

as good as the song was, he tried calling the person 2-3 times more, but to no avail. He told y/n, "I am sorry, but whoever this is, is not picking up."

"Oh, she is not?" she said with a disappointed look on her face. "Yeah, what might be the case? If you want to answer obviously." Soobin asked.

"Ah well, in the nearby theater, Home Alone is being released again. My friend and I, who have loved this movie growing up, won two tickets for this movie in the lottery club, but it looks like she won't be able to come."

"Home Alone?? Oh my God, I love that movie!" Soobin said out of excitement.

"Do you?" y/n asked, now wide-eyed.

"Yes!" Soobin said. Y/n knows one when she sees one; he was as much of a fan of the movie as she was. "Then, do you want to go watch the movie with me?" Y/n asked.

"Can I?" Soobin asked, hopefully with an apprehensive look in his eyes.

"Yup, there is still some time left; how about a warm drink? Hot cocoa is what I am saying. Shall we?" Y/n asked, glancing at her watch.

"Yes, yes, why not!"

Y/n and Soobin began walking along the pavement path, two feet apart, understandably. Looking around, eyes wandering, taking in the frozen but cosy beauty of it all.

"So, what do you do?" Y/n asked, breaking the ice and stepping on the snow.

"I am a psychologist." Soobin said, scratching his neck.

"Psychologist you say??" Y/n asked, "It's my first time meeting and talking to one! So, how is it? You know, being a psychologist?"

"It's good, it's really good, it was my dream to be one. It's rewarding, tiring at times, but I did rather be tired through this work than anything else." Soobin said, adorning a sweet grin.

"Wow, it must be really good!" Y/n said, "For me, I am a student, a Science Major with honors in Zoology."

"Aw, how is it for you?" Soobin asked, his disposition was one of an interested person.

"I love it!! Zoology was something I came to love, it's so fun for me! I get to learn so many things and just. It's dynamic!" Y/n geeked out.

As the couple was chatting away excitedly, they reached their location, a cozy cafe.

they entered, the cafe had a comforting, warm & cozy ambience, the complete opposite of the outside temperature. They went on the find the table on the window side.

They both ordered hot chocolate with whipped cream on top and talked while their drinks were being prepared, they found out that a lot of their interests matched, like favourites, likes, dislikes etc. even their appearance, a bit, they both resembled a cute bunny.

As their drinks came, y/n took out a disposable camera from her bag, she clicked a photo with hot chocolate and the outside by side. And a few more of each other.

Having finished their drinks now, y/n said "Soobin, I think it's about time, let's go to the movies!"

"Oh okay!"

This time, as they went, they were closer, no more feets apart. For the two young souls, the coldness and numbness of the outside world were in no comparison to the warmth their hearts were feeling. Ultimately, it was a Christmas they will never forget, and will look back at for a long succession of years to come.

#txt fluff #txt imagines #txt scenarios #soobin x reader #soobin x y/n #txt soobin #soobin x you #txt fanfic #txt x y/n #txt ff #SoundCloud #txt imagine #txt fics

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group-dynamic · 19 days ago

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Doctor Who Ep. 6 Interstellar Song Contest Spoilers

Loved everything about this episode (Ok, except one (1) thing!). . .

First, I think if you try to read this episode as a direct allegory you're going to have trouble because the layered thematic ideas allow for about 100 different readings that can't be simplified including:

Showing a planet like Earth while talking about "The Corporation" stripping Hellion of its resources and burning it down is a condemnation and warning against capitalism's responsibility for global warming

Discussing "buying" an entire culture and its people in order to get one silly food resource you don't even need but just want to sell evokes colonization and specifically reminds me of what Dole did to Hawaii or what United Fruit Company, Nestle, etc. have done to South / Central America and various parts of Africa.

Centering the queerness of the doctor, including gay / queer characters and icons, and using a reference to "Rise Like a Phoenix" also acts as an homage and recognition of Eurovision as a beloved segment of queer culture, giving a sympathetic look at how that might complicate our feelings about the event's ability to build community beside its complicity in harm. This, to me, was one of the episode's strengths. Its willingness to show that we can hold contradictory and complicated feelings about things.

Furthermore, the Hellions are a representation of the IDEA of a marginalized community, combining the greatest hits of classic bigotry from across time including the accusations of cannibalism (indigenous communities), secret horns (antisemitism), and self-destructive, naturally evil terrorists (Muslims).

And that brings us to the genocide issue. The idea that "Kid" is literally someone whose mother was shot and killed in front of him and suffered from the loss of his home and subjugation of his people creates a clear argument that the violence of domineering, capitalist, colonial powers ARE terrorists acts. The Corporation is a terrorist group. If their behavior creates "terrorism" as a result, that is hard to blame on the victims. (Also, calling him "Kid" was clearly deliberate, and although this episode literally can't be an allegory for the ongoing genocide it reminds us of, it certainly evokes how the literal majority of Palestinians suffering are and were children). I thought the show was very careful to balance the idea that Kid and Wynn's actions are wrong, but that Kid and Wynn are more sympathetic and fleshed out than the nameless, faceless advertisement that represents the Corporation.

Including Cora also seemed like clumsy if thoughtful choice to remind the audience that judging any group of people on the actions of the one or two individuals who get in the "news" for doing something heinous is its own kind of atrocity.

THAT BEING SAID. There was a huge fumble here with the Doctor. Sure, The Doctor has suffered a genocide, but he has also caused them. His torturing the terrorist is clearly meant to make us uncomfortable and disgusted. However, he does not learn any lesson here. He has a CHANCE to, but we're only shown how the torture affects him (which felt an awful lot like the old "the U.S. will carpet bomb your country then make a movie about how sad it made their soldiers"), and he does not in any way modify his beliefs or stance after. He stands there and says basically "I'm coming after you" to Kid in an extrajudicial killing kind of way. He says "You have put ice in my heart." And since Bel does not call him out more than "Oh, I was scared for a second," what I think we needed was for Kid to say to him, "Good. Now you know how I feel." Instead he says nothing and so. . . we're left assuming the Doctor is in the right, I guess? I suppose I wanted a "You would make a good Dalek" moment here. We needed something that sealed the message of "Wow, the deaths of trillions of people is a heinous and abhorrent act, how could anybody do that? And how could you just stand by and DO NOTHING (the episode actually did make this note!) while it happens. Gosh, if that happened, I'd be so angry I'd want to destroy the people responsible and take them out. . . Oh. . . Ooohh, that's what Kid is feeling. The Doctor was angry about a potential genocide. Kid was angry about the real one that happened. If the loss of innocent life can drive you to do things so tremendously out of character. . . Again, this wouldn't EXCUSE the actions. It would HUMANIZE them. It would remind us that our righteous fury over terrorism can only be earned if we bring that same energy toward the colonial, genocidal powers that create the conditions which cause it. Those powers which operate by that same deadly playbook then cry foul when its turned on them.

#doctor who #dw spoilers #doctor who spoilers #So nearly stuck the landing

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your-nanas-house · 1 year ago

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hi dear, I just got another idea about Robert Fisher and his coquette girlfriend🎀

Hello, darling! LOVELY, just watched the perfect movie today and damn... I got another one with Cillian X coquette girlfriend as well. Can't wait to start writing it. 🙇🏼‍♀️💕

Unwritten

◇ Pairing: Robert Fischer x coquette girlfriend!Reader

◇ Warnings: FLUFF, love, Robert is a puppy in love, spoilers of the movie "Anyone but you", didn't went into details with the coquette style of Y/n but I will in the next fic

◇ Summary: Y/n is smitten with the last movie she saw and Robert makes the best of the situation.

◇ Note: Sorry for the mistakes and the English. It's purely based/inspired on "Anyone but you"... watched it today and damn... my tiny heart. 😭 Also credits to the owners for the pics I found on Pinterest.

(This is the song, I listened it in loop while writing this quickly)

Robert's girlfriend had been singing the same song on repeat for almost three weeks, talking about and comparing the things that happened in their daily routine with the movie she went to see with her friends one Friday night.

The business man wasn't bothered by this, he found it very amusing... especially because Y/n was so cute when she did it.

She had a secret pass that allowed her to do everything with him, being always forgiven because of how adorable she was.

It was always like that, since they started dating.

The song had almost become their song, it echoed softly in Robert's head when he least expected it... even during work meetings.

And it all kept bringing him back to the cute image of his girlfriend dancing around the house in her pink dresses, little bows adorning her hair and beautiful smile plastered on her pretty face.

She was so cute and devoted to that movie that it was a must for him to watch it as well so that he could understand better what she kept rambling about with big adoring eyes and her tiny pout decorated by lip glosses.

Just a couple of days after Robert managed to watch the movie Y/n was so smitten of, an idea crossed his mind.

It was since months now that he wanted to says the scary three words that people say when they are in a relationship and just feel those awesome but worrying butterflies in the stomach.

He just needed to find the right moment.. and what better moment than one created for her... based on the film.

That was Robert’s plan and the main reason he was waiting at the port, checking his watch while waiting for Y/n. After they had a lovely evening, ate dinner at a delicious restaurant and just spent time together before going for a walk and end the night with a romantic ride on a yacht with the moon in the sky smiling at them.

The date was just going perfectly, Robert couldn’t stop watching Y/n who was now standing at the bow... a soft smile on her face as the soft wind caressed her skin, moving her baby pink dress in a dreamlike way.

Her hair were moving slowly as well, making it seem like she just walked out of a perfume advertising even though Y/n was secretly trying not to gag because of her hair going anywhere they wanted.

She slowly turned around to see where her Robert was, a bright smile on her face so big that would have melted anyone... the australian man as well since his stomach was already filled with butterflies and his legs felt like jelly... Weak enough to make him loose balance and fall in the water of the sea.

As the water surrounded his body, the rational part of him woke up again... thoughts of how stupid the plan was crossed his mind but quickly left as soon as he felt two hands grab him and bring him back to surface.

His baby blue eyes met Y/n's as soon as he could open them and a shock of pure love hit his whole body.

She really just jumped off the yachts to "save" him.. ruining her pretty dress and makeup for him.

Robert was too stunned and dazed to realize what she was doing, coming back to reality just when she made sure he was on the floating buoy before climbing on it as well.

Her face was flushed and her look of worry was quite evident.. her whole state was noticeable and Robert was feeling a bit guilty for what he did.. hoping silently that it was worth it.

"Oh my god, baby. Are you okay?" Y/n asked quickly, fixing his hair before stroking his wet, cold cheeks in an attempt to calm herself and him.

Her mouth opened again to ask him another question after he just stared at her, not answering her question; but before she could do that the man opted for leaning in and kiss her.

Their lips molding together perfectly, fitting like the last pieces of a puzzle, till the rescue helicopter approached, warning them before throwing the harnesses.

As they both put them on and jumped off the buoy, their body pressed together, her arms went quickly around his neck as his hands grabbed her hips tightly and protectively.

The robe kept being pulled up while they hang on the water, an amazing and romantic view surrounding them... not that they could really see it since Y/n was holding her eyes tightly close, adrenaline and anxiety filling her body, while Robert could just stare at her with love.

That's when he took a deep breath and started to sing the song just like in the movie, his eyes never leaving her face.

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

His singing skills weren't so good but the pure shock and surprise that appeared on Y/n's face was enough to smooth his nervousness a bit so that he could continue to sing the song while waiting for her to join.

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

Their soft laughters interrupted the lyrics, their noses kept brushing softly against each other as they both kept giggling till they died down.

Robert's forehead pressed softly against hers as he fixed her pink wet bow before meeting her eyes again... his hand traveling slowly down on her cheek, his thumb caressing her cold skin in a tender way in an attempt to gather the courage to finally speak.

"Y/n..." He started, brushing his finger against her bottom lip softly while he stared directly in her loving eyes

"I.. I love you".

Taglist:

@gabile18 , @mrsfullbuster500 , @rex-ray , @elizamalfoyy, @eovjjj , @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate , @jeremiah-va1eska , @gothamchic16, @rabbiteggz , @dieg0brandos-wife , @rottenecstasy , @lazyexcuse , @teh-vampire-bunny , @lobotomy-lover , @slasher-smasher , @sleepycreativewriter , @mrkdvidal1989

#robert fischer x you #robert fischer fic #robert fischer x reader #robert fischer x y/n #robert fischer #cillian fic #cillian fanfic #cillian fluff #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fic #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy fanfiction #cillian murphy fluff #inception #inception fanfiction

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whats-9plus10 · 2 years ago

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Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart commentary and extras.

This is what I gathered during my first watch. Hopefully, I'll be able to upload the audio bits like I did for seasons 1-7 eventually! I'll catch all the little details then 💛

Let me get this out of the way. They did not answer the most important question of all.

In the past, Doc and Jackson have said that what they say in the commentary isn't necessarily canon. What is canon is what's in the actual show, not what they explore outside of the show because they're always changing their minds. Sometimes they disagreed while answering questions. Take that as you'd like.

Jonas didn’t abandon The Monarch after the plane crash intentionally. He assumed he died or he ran away before he got there. They hinted that Jonas downed the plane himself.

When asked if Jonas loved Rusty they say he’s a bad person, the villain of the show, and a monster. Jackson thinks he might have been a boy adventurer himself. They compare him to baby boomers forcing their children to live the lives they wanted themselves.

Does Rusty have the other twin killed when only one dies? Jackson says only when they witness the death. He referenced Ice Station Impossible. Brock has done it before.

Ritchie Valens refused to join The Guild and Red Mantle and Dragoon’s (Buddy Holly and The Big Bopper) initiation was to kill him so he wouldn’t tattle.

Doc says the second sons are the ones who succeed in The Guild, not the first sons, because they’re most likely to become evil and that’s why Dean was chosen as The Guild’s successor.

Doc described two episodes he would like to do: 1. "Heads in the water." Which is the heads of characters bobbing in the water after a crash for the entire episode. An all dialog bottle episode. 2. An episode that starts off like a regular Venture Bros episode. Then a henchman dies and everything pivots. 21 calls his wife and says “Real sorry but your husband died in service” (Doc put on his 21 voice here). We then see the wife and daughter (from another marriage) and follow them in their lives.

What is The Monarch's favorite ABBA song? Doc thinks Waterloo and Jackson thinks Take a Chance. They riff as Monarch and Dr. Girlfriend for a few seconds.

Gary's a big Sneaker Pimps fan.

Rusty doesn't have a middle name. If you ask Rusty he'll say the S stands for sexy or science or SUPER science. Rusty’s favorite musical is Starlight Express or RENT (Jackson disagreed). He's never actually watched them but he likes the advertisements.

Brock Frog is the guy that "brings in bagels". A 3rd generation Italian American from "bricklayer stock." He fell out with his dad because he wanted to bring bricks into the future. He teamed up with Professor Vigo Dale, who screwed him out of half of the company after Brick Frog gave him all of his brick ideas.

Mantilla has the ability to make things invisible by touching them but claimed it was teleportation. “It’s all bullshit…and she had money from her past”

Mantilla has been "garbage picking" from The Monarch’s trash, such as Dr. Mrs.'s costume ideas in season 3 that she had thrown away and their wedding invitation.

The guys in the warehouse with Jefferson were all roommates in the 90s.

We would have had a full episode of Force Majeure and Jonas Venture's rivalry.

We would have had another episode of Billy and Colonel Gentleman "John Wicking" after Mischa was found dead right before a doggy costume contest.

Matt Berry was supposed to voice Force Majeure.

Why does The Monarch hate Doc so much? Jackson says “Obviously it (the thought that Debra left him for Rusty) bothers him a little more than he said.”

They called Gary's hair “the popular millennial cut” and made him "half Glen Danzig half Wolverine."

Doc has drunk his own urine multiple times because they pee in bottles in the Astrobase. "Recently".

During the last scene in the movie when everyone is talking, Gary and Hatred were talking about a loofah. Hatred asked Gary "Ah...you use a loofah?". Dr. O was talking about intermittent fasting.

24 made a guest appearance in the "Fan Questions" extra for a few seconds.

They refused to answer the questions about Scare Bear and what Rusty and Billy were doing in the time machine in case they're able to continue the story.

They made a joke about telling people just enough in the commentary to get them excited and want more. (A “joke” haha)

During Prom, Pete and Billy would have studied the Push It video extensively. Pete would’ve entered the dance floor and “boxed it out” to make space. Billy would’ve walked in the circle nonchalantly. Then they would have recreated the entire dance.

youtube

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erinwantstowrite · 6 months ago

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i wish biggering was in the actual lorax movie,, i was so obsessed w that song for so long… it works so much better as a cautionary and scary song for a villain 💔 i think making the onceler practically oblivious of what his actions were doing took a lot away from what the movie could have been.. like he knew it was BAD, but it was toned down SO much. like the difference between the line “who cares if a few trees are dying?” and “who cares if some things are dying? i don’t wanna hear your crying”.. like hello he was aware he was killing animals and destroying their homes JUST for himself.. don’t get me wrong, how bad can i be is fun, yeah,, but it’s no biggering!! like it’s supposed to be showing how far gone the onceler went into the corporate nature, and how it reflects a lot of real life corporations and billionaires sitting at the top of the chain, getting more and more, to the point that it’s terrifying. and biggering is showing JUST how far it goes.. at least for a children’s movie lol.. but no. it hit to close to home with the men at the top of everything to actually put it in the movie. the lorax’s whole speech in biggering literally just calls them out directly. BUT NO. (can you tell i really really like the lorax..)

YOU GET MEEEE YOU REALLY GET ME

i love the Lorax (though I wasn't ever in the fandom... they scared me), and sometimes I go back to watch it and think about what could have been... I listen to Biggering all the time, though mostly when i'm mad about corporations and advertising and etc etc etc, i also listen to it because it's just a GREAT antagonist song/song in general. if i can put it on a playlist for a villain character, IT'S GOING ON THERE. How Bad Can I Be is good but Biggering just hits harder

if anyone wants to know what song we're talking about WhySoAnimated's storyboard project also readjusted something in my brain wen I watched it as a kid

#biggering (lorax)#lorax #tags i didn't know i'd put on this blog #whatevs this song deserves it's spot #thank you for the ask!#i had a twisted wonderland oc with this song before and it's kind of hilarious objectively #because he's based on mother gothel #but he got loraxed

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hyzenthlayroseart · 8 days ago

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I wanted to save these for when I was done with the whole project but I have a feeling the next few entries will take a long time to make since each era has so many movies (Renaissance Era, Experimental Era and the Modern Era) and I got impatient with myself so I'm posting what's done so far.

So I decided to do a project where I draw films from each Disney era together. For those who don't know about Disney's animation eras, here's a good guide: https://www.bfi.org.uk/features/many-merry-eras-disney

The Renaissance Era had to be split into two drawings, I have a feeling the next two eras will have to be split into two or more drawings as well.

So! In the previous era Disney was in a very, very low place. However, that would all change in 1989 with the release of The Little Mermaid. The film was a massive success both critically and commercially, and it even won two Oscars (Best Original Song for "Under the Sea" and Best Original Score).

Their next film was actually the first sequel produced by Walt Disney Feature Animation. While the film got good reviews, it sadly didn't earn quite as much as The Little Mermaid (and to this day it's sadly the least-remembered from this era). It still has a notable role in Disney animation's history as it was their first animated film to use their new software system CAPS (Computer Animation Production System, a digital ink and paint system that would be used for all Renaissance films that came after).

Massive critical and commercial success would come back with Beauty and the Beast, so successful in fact that it was nominated for Best Picture (the Best Animated Film category didn't exist yet). It may not have won Best Picture but the fact that it was nominated in the first place is a huge deal. It did, however, win Best Original Score and Best Original Song (for the titular song "Beauty and the Beast").

Aladdin was the next film and would too go on to become a massive success, and yes, once again ended up scoring Oscars for Best Original Score and Best Original Song ("A Whole New World"). Now, I feel like I can't discuss Aladdin without bringing up Robin Williams. He's the most hilarious part of the film and is absolutely iconic as Genie, however, behind the scenes there was drama between him and Disney. You see, when Robin Williams was approached for the role, he agreed to do it on the condition that his name nor his image be used for marketing and that Genie takes up no more than 25% of the posters. Do you think Disney kept their promise? If you answered "no", then you are correct. And while Robin Williams's name wasn't used in advertisements for the film, his voice as Genie was still being used to advertise the movie and sell toys, without paying him additional money. Robin Williams was so upset over this (and rightfully so), that he refused to reprise his role for the direct-to-video sequel, however, this conflict has a happy ending because when CEO Jeffery Katzenberg (who was CEO when this fiasco happened) was replaced by Joe Roth, Roth organized a public apology to Robin Williams, leading to him even returning to voice Genie in another direct-to-video sequel for the film.

The next film was The Lion King, and of course, it was a massive success in every way, and you guessed it, also went on to win Oscars for Best Original Score and Best Original Song ("Can You Feel The Love Tonight").

Pocahontas came next, a very fictionalized film based on the real Pocahontas and John Smith (very, very, VERY loosely based on the real Pocahontas and John Smith, I should say). This film ended up getting mixed reviews, which is unsurprising given its historical inaccuracies. I try not to inject my own opinions into these posts too much but I just feel like adding that I loved the film as a kid, but now that I'm an adult and know the real history about Pocahontas (including the fact that she was estimated to be around 10, 11 or 12 when she met John Smith, who was in his twenties), I don't think I feel comfortable giving it a rewatch anytime soon. I will say, however, that it'll always be a beautifully animated film and "Just Around the Riverbend" and especially "Colors of the Wind" will always be great songs ("Colors of the Wind even won Best Original Song).

Interestingly, Jeffery Katzenberg hoped that Pocahontas would be the studio's next chance at getting nominated for Best Picture. On the other hand, he thought The Lion King (they were in development at the same time) was more "experimental", and so he considered Pocahontas the "A-team" project and The Lion King the "B-team" project. And as we all know by now, the opposite ended up happening in regards to which one was the bigger success.

The next film was The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and while it did have a lower box office success than Pocahontas, it was a bigger critical success. Hercules ended up having an even lower box office reception than Hunchback, but still received postive reviews. Mulan would go on to be another critical and commercial success, as did Tarzan (as well as an Oscar for Best Original Song for "You'll Be in My Heart").

One noticeable trend amongst the Renaissance Era was the music becoming more Broadway-inspired. This can largely be credited to Alan Menken and the late great Howard Ashman, who collaborated on Broadway together prior to collaborating at Disney, including creating the musical version of Little Shop of Horrors. The films they collaborated on for Disney was The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin, in fact it was Howard Ashman who pitched the idea of making Aladdin into an animated musical to Disney.

Tragically, Howard Ashman was diagnosed with AIDS all the way back when he was working on The Little Mermaid, and when his disease got more severe by the time Beauty and the Beast was in production, Disney accommodated him by creating a production unit near his home so he could continue to work on the film while receiving treatment. Unfortunately, he died before the film was completed. Disney dedicated Beauty and the Beast to his memory, and even put this beautiful tribute in the end credits of the film: To our friend, Howard, who gave a mermaid her voice and a beast his soul, we will be forever grateful. Howard Ashman 1950-1991 (This always gets to me 🥺).

Also, I feel like I can't mention Howard Ashman without bringing this up, there's an excellent documentary about him on Disney Plus, simply called Howard that I definitely recommend. If you don't have Disney Plus but are still interested you can watch here. Back in 2023 it was revealed that Disney was going to remove a bunch of stuff from the platform to "cut costs" (🙄), and that included Howard, but of course that lead to extreme outcry, ESPECIALLY since it would be removed on the eve of Pride Month and Howard Ashman was a gay man, so that made the timing even worse. Thankfully the backlash worked and the documentary is still there to this day. I do still hope it gets a Blu-ray release eventually.

This era truly was a renaissance, absolutely one of the most magical periods in Disney's animation history.

Image size

#fan art #disney #disney renaissance #the little mermaid #the rescuers down under #beauty and the beast #aladdin #the lion king #pocahontas #the hunchback of notre dame #hercules #mulan #tarzan

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turtleations · 3 months ago

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Interview with t.o.L. (Artist unit consisting of saito and kuno, involved with LEMONed as art designers) (summarized)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Note: t.o.L. (trees of Life) are an artistic duo consisting of Kuno Makiko and Saito Kei, who published work under the LEMONed label and further worked for LEMONed on the design side of things. They are the creators of the cartoon cat TAMALA who stars in their 2002 movie “TAMALA2010 – a punk cat in space”.

Note 2: For this interview I am falling back on the “summary” format I have used for all the long interviews so far. Again, much of it is still a rather direct translation.

Note 3: I once again use names and honorifics or lack thereof as used by the people talking. (They are somewhat inconsistent in this one.)

For starters, please tell us about your first meeting with hide-san.

(kuno) In 1995, they were in London to make the PV for their song “one day for maria”, where they showed their work to an acquaintance and it somehow ended up being seen by someone from HEADWAX. It made its way to hide, who liked it so much he arranged for a meeting soon after.

(saito) They were talking to London’s EMI UK at the time, but met with hide-san as soon as they returned to Japan in January 1996. He was recording in a studio in Hitachizaka then, and right at their first meeting said, “I’m making a label called LEMONed, how about we work together?” He let them listen to his song “BACTERIA”, which he was recording just then, and it was completely different from what they had imagined. They had not expected it to be music they liked that much. The fact that the label he was creating wasn’t just for the music but also for the covers, videos etc. was exciting to them.

(kuno) When she saw the video for “BACTERIA” for the first time, she was surprised and simply thought it was cool. She had been mostly listening to foreign music until then and had not expected there to be people making such awesome stuff in Japan as well. That was one of the reasons why she wanted to work with hide.

Did you live in London at that time?

(kuno) On and off.

You talked about making music and PVs, but what was your main activity until then?

(saito) Mainly TV-commercials and advertisements, but he was ready to move on to the next thing. The song “one day for maria” (trees of Life) that was entered into the LEMONed compilation, and the PV for it, were something they had made for themselves, completely out of their own volition without having been commissioned for it. Them making the music, the video, and the graphics themselves must have been in line with what hide-san wanted to do with LEMONed.

What was your impression when you met hide-san for the first time?

(kuno) He seemed like an amazingly delicate and ordinary boy. The massive gab between his unremarkable, sensitive impression and the strong impact left my “BACTERIA” was quite surprising.

(saito) To he honest, saito didn’t know X JAPAN well until then. When he met hide in person, the large gab between the wild energy of his works and the very delicate nature of the person making them was immediately captivating.

After this, you started creating things together?

(kuno) When they entered “one day for maria” into the LEMONed compilation, it led to them also being in charge of the entire art direction and all the visual work for LEMONed. Then the LEMONed-log, hide-san’s log, and the pamphlet with LEMONed’s introduction and so on.

(saito) hide had probably always meant to create an image that was different from that of X JAPAN’s HIDE. To realize that, they talked at lot and often had exchanges late at night. Hide would suddenly reach out in the middle of the night because he thought of a song or an idea had come to him. He was now operating in a different genre than the one he was used to, and that’s where t.o.L. came in. When they talked about what to do for the jacket of the first LEMONed compilation, hide-san brought up Salvador Dali: What if they didn’t use one of the artists images but rather an image of the artist himself? Kuno then picked that idea up, asking, should they go for a model of the old man? What environment should he be in? Hide came up with radical ideas, they played them back with their own input, like playing catch ball, and it the end the photographer, stylists, lighting made it a reality. That’s how LEMONed worked. Saito took a step back from creating songs and live performances as part of trees of Life then, he sees now.

(kuno) They worked on the overall image of ELMONed together, but t.o.L.’s general involvement was more in the visual department.

(saito) hide was someone who had a lot of ideas, but those ideas were often absurd. Dali, for example, was already dead then. In saito’s opinion, hide was way ahead of his time. t.o.L. also made the pamphlet for the [then] recent “hide Memorial Summit”. While hide himself is gone, everyone wants him to be an icon. He was an extremely imaginative person, the kind of person who wants to use Dali, and influenced Saito a lot as a person. Saito didn’t think it possible for this design idea to be well received, but it was.

(kuno) The idea of using Salvador Dali was fresh and unexpected and she wanted to turn it into something real using her own imagination.

(saito) Hide probably wanted to do something that could be enjoyed even by all the people who didn’t know the painter Salvador Dali. Saito, who had himself operated under Dali’s name, felt that difference back then. While hide lived in a fun and insane world, he also wanted to translate that craziness for the fans who loved him. It’s hard to believe that that was ten years ago already. To saito, it feels recent.

(kuno) To create the cover for the recent live album, she listened to the recordings once more and dug up old photographs. They don’t feel old at all, they feel fresh.

(saito) He thinks it’s funny that X JAPAN’s HIDE was well established, but it was the solo artist hide who created LEMONed whom they got involved with, and as a result, their relationship with him was somewhat unique. For fans from the X JAPAN era, that shift was probably unsettling, but to t.o.L., who joined halfway through, it was quite a different experience.

How exactly did hide-san influence you?

(saito) After hide passed away, they created the character of TAMALA and worked on that movie for about four years. During that period, he thought about something hide had said countless times: That there is a gab between an artist’s understanding of the fun and fascinating work they want to do, and the way the people viewing it in the end will perceive it. It’s not a question of choosing between your vision and what would bring people enjoyment, but of managing to do both.

(kuno) She thinks this is really important.

(saito) Recently, when he saw X JAPAN’s performances or the “hide Memorial Summit” and HIDE-san appears on screen, he felt like just another fan, even though they should have done these things together, thinking “He’s so cool!” or “He’s so cute!” hide’s greatness can be felt in the last glittering fragments he left behind. He was burning with ideals yet knew of the harshness of reality, and that’s what makes what he left behind so great and adorable, and it’s what made him special.

(kuno) She feels like there were a lot of terrible things that they can’t even imagine, yet hide’s songs and performances gave the impression of him always having fun. It may sound strange to put it like that, but it feels like he was playing with great seriousness. That’s what she also wants to do; it’s his influence on her.

(saito) Even when hide was at his absolute limit, he would ask his fans if they were entertained enough. It goes beyond his imagination. He heard this from someone else, but if the fans were to answer, “We’re not!”, hide would probably say, “Okay” and work even harder. Working with hide-san, Saito didn’t have a single bad experience.

(kuno) To put it differently, he was extremely considerate. He was so considerate of his staff and the people around him that she feared he would exhaust himself with it. On the other hand, he was reckless and playful, but he was also someone to take the initiative and lead everyone. It were his sensitivity and kindness that really left an impression.

Are there any episodes from when you were working together that left a particularly deep impression?

(saito) When they made the PV for “Beauty & Stupid”, he felt like there was a taste of the Showa-era [25. December 1926 – 7. January 1989] in it, so saito decided to go in the opposite direction with the styling. Hide said, “That’s cool, that’s really cool, but there are fans who sport their own pink hair, so can you include the part where I go “Ehehe” with the pink hair for me?” and saito thought, “Oh, sorry, I get it now.”

(kuno) The finished thing was super cute.

(saito) It really worked out well. Hide always wanted to go higher, and he wanted to take everyone with him when he went. Rather than going on his own, he always prioritized his fans.

(kuno) She thinks he was also playing around.

(saito) Really, he probably couldn’t keep himself entertained.

(kuno) For real.

(saito) He acted that way a lot, though, so it was kind of adorable.

“Beauty & Stupid” was reshot?

(saito) He just wanted to add some new footage but ended up redoing the whole thing. It was a fun project, through. And of course, on the day of the shoot, there was a broken foot… (laughs)

(kuno) For the shooting of “ROCKET DIVE”, everyone was supposed to cheerfully jump up, but hide had a broken foot.

(saito) He asked hide to pretend to fly and hide was happy to do so. Speaking of which, he thinks hide was a person who worked not only with his head but with his whole body. He wasn’t gig-headed at all; he was a physical person, and yet an extremely sensitive one. He was strange like that. (laughs)

What was it like when you came into the studio for “ROCKET DIVE”?

(saito) hide just smiled and said, “It broke”, and they looked at his foot and were like, “So it did.” It didn’t come as much of a surprise. Hide didn’t take his injury into consideration for its own sake, but he was conscious of how it affected their concept. He was someone who could adjust to circumstances and come up with new ideas on the spot, to make the best of any situation. And at LEMONed, they were used to accidents, those happened all the time. For saito it was educational, how even outrageous or unthinkable things could just happen.

(kuno) hide seemed like someone who had a clear idea from the beginning but didn’t get hung up on the details if someone else had input. If she came up with an idea, they would talk about it some, but after throwing her the ball, he wouldn’t say anything more. She doesn’t quite know why but thinks it’s because he trusted those he worked with to make something good. She wouldn’t have minded if he had actually told her so, too, but she’s grateful for the faith he put in her.

(saito) When saito was working at the office late at night, someone from HEADWAX might come and deliver audio data to him. When done with the pre-production of a song, hide wanted to let him listen to it right away. Saito now thinks he considered them friends within LEMONed and wanted to share the joy of creating a new work with them. He was like a child in this regard.

(uno) To her, hide had this childlike purity. In the dressing room of some event he’d suddenly start telling them about a baby monkey and how cute it had been. So small and so cute, he’d go on and on about that endlessly. It was adorable. (laughs)

Staff (Yamamoto): Recalls how hide said he wanted to see a baby monkey on some MTV program, so they went to a pet shop and he had one ride on his shoulder. He enjoyed that so much it seemed like he wanted to keep it.

(saito) This is something personal, but he often thinks about hide. When things are tough, he thinks about him and how he would handle it. He feels like hide set the standard for many things. They created a lot together, and hide send him his tapes and music right away. Maybe he was just being nice, but Saito feels like they connected as friends, as equals. When he remembers that, he realized just how important a person hide had been to him.

What prompted you to create TAMALA?

(saito) A lot of things. Saito had been thinking about what to do next as a creator even before hide-san passed away, but after what happened in 1998, he decided to make a movie. And so, he started. Of course, he wanted to show it to hide-san. He’s still working on it in 2008, but for him it was a natural progression to do this after he finished his work with LEMONed. It’s been 10 years, and LEMONed’s hide-san is still close to him.

(kuno) She thinks hide would really have wanted to see TAMALA. He wasn’t a model for her, but TAMALA, the main character of their story, is a cat who gets bullied and bullies right back, a flag bearer for everyone. In her mind, privately, there is a link to hide-san somewhere. TAMALA has been hurt but still carries the flag for everyone – a role model for Kuno.

Did you interact outside of work?

(saito) Not at all.

(kuno) They went out for drinks after work.

(saito) Just once for him, and not together with her. From the outside that must have seemed like he reasonably just didn’t want to go.

(kuno) This wasn’t something she got particularly hung up on.

(saito) That he got data and tapes in the middle of the night was enough for him; he didn’t think he needed to convey his feeling by getting drunk and going wild on top of that. Hide-san probably wanted to share some private time with them, but saito thought it was enough. Now he wishes he had spend more time with him. Hide-san was someone who worked in a very relaxed atmosphere and then went to treat those around him, but saito felt he always had to keep up the tension so he couldn’t go relax in his free time like that.

(kuno) They often worked until late at night and then went drinking. After hide passed away she wished she could have talked to him more and share the things she liked with him.

What kind of things?

(kuno) Just stuff like, “That jacket is nice, isn’t it?” Nothing special.

Other artist also often expressed that hide-san “didn’t have a lot to say about the work itself”.

(kuno) He must have had faith in them. Leaving their work to them without getting involved was just his style.

(saito) Beyond the concept, as long as they met his standard, he let his artists, musicians, and bands work independently. That was important to him. Creators had to be able to make their own decisions about their work. He had worked independently from the beginning, and so he wanted to give those around him the confidence to work independently as well. So saito feels that it was probably their own fault that they didn’t connect to him on a more private level. From his perspective, hide-san had almost no flaws – something that amazes him even now.

(kuno) This is not a flaw, but hide put so much energy into being kind and considerate to others that she worried about him, wondering how he could possibly balance it all.

(saito) He was like that.

(kuno) He was someone who was looking out for those behind him while everyone in front of him was having fun.

(saito) He only worked with hide-san for two years, and to be honest, he didn’t look back on it so far, immersed himself in making a movie to the point of blocking out everything else. About two years ago, he started reviewing hide’s work once more and found that it was not dated at all, especially “Pink Spider” and “ROCKET DIVE”, recognizing hide’s immense potential in it. He felt that way again when he got to make the jacket for RIZE’s cover of “Pink Spider”. But that was the potential within LEMONed. With X JAPAN and other bands there was a different kind of potential, so saito thinks he only got to see a potion of it. Even so, it influenced him.

You mentioned absurd ideas he had, do you remember any specific ones?

(kuno) There were no requests that were straight up impossible.

(saito) He was fixated on old men and women, using them to express a long span of time in his work. The idea to use old people on the jacket for “ever free” also came from him. “How about we use old people as icons in my work?”, he asked, and saito started to think about it. But hide didn’t stop at simply having old people, he took it to a point of amusement with old skinheads kissing. Then: “If they are skinheads, they should have tattoos on their heads.” Since they couldn’t do that in Japan, kuno-san went to L.A. for it.

(kuno) She figured it would be hard to find models willing to shave their head in Japan, so L.A. it was. When she held auditions for the job, the uncles and aunties were willing to save their heads right away. She figures that for older talent, the priority lay with getting a job. The auntie who had her hair set like a geisha for the audition came to the shooting completely bald.

(saito) And there they put on magic tattoos?

(kuno) With a writing brush.

(saito) He couldn’t go there, but asks if hide-san came.

(kuno) He said he would, but in the end he was too busy, so she went to show him the film after.

(saito) Did he leave the decision to her?

(kuno) He did.

(saito) Since “ever free” and “Pink Spider” were produced at the same time, they worked on them separately. He had a lot of fun with the PV for “Pink Spider” and how to make things look real using CG. As soon as the idea of old skinheads come up for “ever free”, he started to think about how to top it. Kuno said that there was nothing unreasonable being asked, but it was not exactly normal either.

Like skinhead tattoos. (laughs)

(saito) They had a discussion about what to do, since they both started at the same point and stage. It never reached a point where they had to reject something as impossible.

(kuno) It was hard, but it was fun. Since this was how he liked to do it, things kept spreading with ever more people suggesting, “Well, how about this?”

(saito) For “UGLY PINK MACHINE”, hide was really happy with the idea of the safety pins and the computer. There were things they couldn’t understand, of course, but those were two good years of moving in the same direction at LEMONed.

You also made various designs for the “hide Memorial Summit”, didn’t you?

(saito) Having to choose between doing a memorial of the past or presenting a look at a potential hide from the present day, he naturally went with the latter. Hide-san is gone and there is no telling what he would be like in 2008, but looking at a vast amount of photos, saito realized that there were many fans who wanted to see it anyway. He went with a version of LEMONed’s hide-san, but there were also a lot of fans of X JAPAN’s HIDE-san, and he tried to make everyone happy. Doesn’t know if it worked, but he put his heart into it.

(kuno) It was actually really fun. Because those old photos, especially the live ones, hadn’t been used much until then. After hide was gone, a lot of photos had been used in projects, but they only started to exhume the live footage then. Starting with the live albums, there are a lot of cool pictures, with him looking into the distance.

(saito) He had great eyes for that.

(kuno) You didn’t know if he was looking at the sky or elsewhere.

(saito) It was never sentimental.

(kuno) It made you want to look at whatever he was focusing on with him.

(saito) It gave you courage. The photo seemed to tell you that you can do more. That’s why he feels like it ended up being not only a memorial but also fun.

Is there anything you would like to tell hide-san?

(saito) He wants to meet him again. Only that. He doesn’t think this has anything to do with the occult, but he feels like he will meet him again someday, somewhere. That’s what he wants. And he wants to create something with him again. Anyway, every time he remembers hide-san, he looks forward with a positive attitude. So he wants to keep connecting to him through his work, dedicate something he made to him, and keep in contact this way.

(kuno) That’s how it is.

(saito) hide-san is present in the works he makes, in spirit if not in form, and he wants to be told by that work to “make more”.

(kuno) When she creates things, it gives her courage to know that someone like hide existed. She wants to make things that encourage others as well, just like him.

#hide #translation #interview #summary #hide bible #t.o.L.#this took surprisingly little time to get finished #important revelation to take away from this one: hide was very cute #now back to owaranai kizuna #and some shorts

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