#who represents none of those great questions and theme

[riverwithoutbanks]

Cas and hunger and love and how he cannot differentiate except because when he was under Famine influence, the body prevailed (hunger as in food), but the confused mind/grace wanted reciprocation/concordance (hunger as in desire— him asking Dean whether he’s affected).

It’s not even dominance (‘you should show me some respect’ vs Godstiel who doesn’t seem to care for Dean on his knees). He’s infinite so it only stands to reason that he’d try to consume, but he’s not a leviathan. He feels hunger, but he won’t even try to bite.

He always seem so sorrowful until he makes it clear that he is a warrior, that he can destroy and kill — but then he’s playing along with the Winchesters.

He has seen most of history, the fish leaving the ocean, yet he’s been lobotomised again and again, which is almost comical. There is so much to him, and yet we see basically none of it. And it suffices. Because he’s trapped in a loop of rebellion and wisdom and forgetting. Until he isn’t. He’s infinity reduced to a singular point and that’s breaking my mind.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

I am extremely interested in your draft/post about Downton Abbey and the timeline 👀

Important disclaimer: I was never in the fandom of the series, so I'm completely ignorant as to word of god and fanon, and might have forgotten some details of the plot as the years have passed since I watched.

*video essay voice* (bear with me) in 1980, British playwright Peter Flannery, while watching rehearsals for Henry IV, felt inspired to write his own historical epic, a Shakespearean sort of short History of his native Newcastle from the 60s to the present, interweaving the personal History of 4 "friends" with the big historical events of Britain through those years, to create a strong political narrative through them, but that was life-like enough in its everyday life details and turns as to feel real. The characters deal with their desire to change the world, achieve success, recognition, or even just survive, and experience hope and hopelessness by turns*

This theater play, called Our Friends in the North, caught the eye of the BBC, and after several back-and-forths it was adapted into 9 episodes in 1996. It was a big bet (it cost 8 million pounds to produce) and a big hit, and I do get the gut feeling that in some corner, the first season of Downton is inspired in OFITN as a concept, a sort of Our Freenemies in Yorkshire, but that its own success derailed it into a different direction, and made it Edwardian-Roaring 20s Aristofairytaleland, the same way Regency Romance tends to take place on a Regency Fairytale land full of dukes and none of the social, economical and political problems of the time.

S1 of DA hinges around the "Death of the old world" theme: it opens with its first marker (the sinking of the Titanic) and closes with the last marker (the beginning of the Great War). The central plot is that of the survival of Downton as a place and an institution -the kickstart is the death of James and Patrick aboard the Titanic, and the next heir presumptive being a middle class lawyer, an outsider to the aristocracy. The old, dying aristocracy, managed to patch up their situation by marrying rich American heiresses, like Cora, but it doesn't have any vitality for the future: the heir (Robert and Cora's son) is born dead. The question then is "can the aristocracy make a bridge with the raising professional middle class, merge with it in order to gain new life?" that's what Matthew's plotline this season is all about, specially in his growing and changing relationship with Robert and Mary (who are the epitome representatives of the aristocracy, with lady Violet): there is a small seed of aspiration that grows through the season, but gets quashed once he realizes that as much as he has grown to care for the Crowleys, they haven't really grown to care for him as anything but an uncomfortable necessity. And so he leaves. And the Great War begins. No compromise can be reached, the old world is dead.

I don't think I say anything controversial when I say that Fellowes and Downton as a series loves Mary with undying devotion; she gets a second chance at Matthew in s2 that she wouldn't have gotten IRL, and she would have kept Matthew forever if the actor didn't want out. And I think Dan Stevens wanting out (and Jessica Brown's to a certain extent), and as much as he can say within the bounds of politeness, has a lot to do with a sense that the series he signed up for was not the series he ended up being in on the follow up seasons. Matthew, who was a central character to the main plot of the series in s1, now gravitates Mary's storylines, because that pressing conflict of the inheritance is solved, and he can be disposed of as soon as he produces a male heir without causing any plot-ripples. A story about Downton the house as anchoring to class conflicts and point of connection with big events becomes a story of Mary and her relatives with Downton as a mainly aesthetic backdrop as s2 progresses (yes, yes, every once in a while some lip service is given to "money troubles" and having to downsize, but it's just... that).

As seasons progress, as well, the historical markers to open and close a season disappear, and so do... general historical events at all. The story gets atomized and more and more separated from History, and "the old world is dying" theme vanishes.

So, now, on this premise (that Downton S1 and Downton s2-6 are different animals, with different core themes and structures) where do I think a true continuation of S1 would have gone?

Mind you, I haven't plotted five series to detail, because I'm not that invested. But also it feels like DA the series itself started running out of plot after s4 anyways, so, in general lines:

The same way OFITN did (episodes were each set on a different year: 64, 66, 67, 70, 74, 79, 84, 87, 95) every series would have a time skip that would tie in with bigger scale events in Britain and the world (the end of the Great War, the Spanish Flu, the crack of 29', etc), and in my mind I would have it cover until the late 1940s: the series begins with a middle aged Robert and Cora, and ends with a middle-aged next generation.

Matthew does actually marry Lavinia, and takes William with him as they bonded in the war, and goes back to his job. They try to keep their distance from Downton, but, of course they keep getting drawn in because of the inheritance.

Matthew's marriage to Lavinia means a vital wake-up call for Mary: she -and by extension the aristocracy- cannot always get what she wants, even though her name and status carry a lot of importance. But she also experiences new freedom because her choice of husband has now no influence on the fate of the estate. I think she'd choose to travel a lot, in ways that would widen her mental horizons and change her feelings and perspective about her family. I even feel like her marrying Henry Talbot in the end makes sense; she remains ever the aristocrat (although I'd think she'd marry later, probably past her mid-30s, a spirit of the new times).

Sybil's storyline remains the same, minus death (in this scheme, the core characters that thread the timeline are the Crawley sisters AND Matthew), but she never returns to Downton to stay, and it is through her and her visits that we do get the perspectives and storylines of the process of independence for Ireland, and her complicated position as wife of an Irish man but daughter of a British earl. You can even get stories in the later years storylines like Marygold trying to run to Ireland and her aunt after WWII breaks.

A similar thing goes for Edith; if Mary is and makes the choice of aristocracy, and Sybil makes the choice of a working class life, then Edith embodies a commercial-professional upper middle class aspiration (in fact, I do think that her punching-bag status in the series has a lot to do with Fellowes derision of that class), so it makes sense for her to do most of the things she does towards her place in life; just cut some of the drama and no sudden marquess nonsense in the end. Edith and Bertie marry and remain successful editors/printers/periodical owners.

As for the house itself, of course Matthew inherits (you could set Robert's death for 1929, and then have a Lavinia inheritance save the estate after Robert's failed investments like it goes in s1). I do think this lends itself to interesting dynamics, specially with the servants, considering the aristocratic head is gone and the Great War significantly changed the self-image of the serving class, plus the return of William now in a much more privileged place; but also with Cora as the new Dowager and Lavinia as the new Lady Grantham. How do the children adapt to their new home and status? How did their parents conduct their upbringing? I think you can do a lot there (I'd assume just two children, a boy and a girl).

I do also think it'd be interesting to contrast the rising tensions in the 30s as Mary perceives them through her continental travels -I can imagine Henry Talbot joining the foreign service and getting at least obliquely involved in spy shenanigans- and Edith through her very localized work.

The Kingsmen movies play with this idea of WWI creating a generation of fathers who buried their sons and had to take their places. The Crawleys escape this by having only daughters, so I think it is fitting for Matthew and Lavinia's son to die in WWII, and for the daughter to become a war bride and move to the US, as the centre of power moves from the UK to the US.

Downton, more and more difficult to maintain as the years pass, cannot survive the economic blow of WWII, and Mathew and Lavinia, now middle aged, don't have the energy and vitality to begin again; and so they make an arrangement with the just-founded National Trust after the war ends: the main part of the house becomes a museum, but they still get a part of it to live in. I think, after a family reunion tea/party to wrap things up, you can have as a symbolic last shot, a close up of Matthew's hand as he turns over the keys to the Downton gates to the National Trust agent, CUT TO BLACK AND THE DOWNTON ABBEY THEME.

So, hm, that's pretty much it. Please do not maul me to death XD

*While I think the series was very well written, I'd hesitate to recommend it here as there was too much explicit nudity and sexual content for my taste and that of many people here. The 2022 radio adaptation seems to be faithful to the original tv series and avoid that problem, but of course you lose on the other visuals that are quite impressive (and believe me, besides some awkward wigs and make up, they really did blow up that 8 million pound budget in many ways).

[battyblog]

Feminism is not a genre of film!

Does anyone else feel like cinema is kind of popping off in 2024 so far? Watching films has become my coping mechanism for winter. Recently, I watched the film Poor Things which has taken the world by storm; with ‘Best picture’ and multiple other Oscar nominations to prove it. Aside from the gorgeous aesthetics of Poor Things, the film’s story has fuelled the fire for the current feminism in film debate. For anyone who hasn’t seen the film, this post will contain spoilers and I really do recommend you watch it! Poor Things is the story of Bella Baxter, a female lead who’s journey to mental maturation is a key aspect of the film. We follow Bella who is revealed to be an amalgamation of mother and child, the mother’s body with the brain of her infant child (An aspect of the film which receives NOT enough attention). What the film does focus on is how her brain develops and how the young brain being treated as the adult shell affects Bella’s view and experiences of the world. The film covers topics of the 20th Century society, and how women were treated within it, prostitution, marriage, manipulation and suicide.  

Is Poor Things a feminist film? Seems to be a key question in the discourse. But I think that we need to take a moment to question what this concept actually means, what is a feminist film? Whilst there are many great smaller films that cover feminist topics well, I want to focus on these big blockbusters as these moneymakers allow us to also think about the role capitalism plays in this debate. Film is an industry after all. A common theme in these female-led Oscar noms is that none of them are labelled as ‘feminist’ in their promotional materials. Feminism is still a divisive term, and in the pursuit of profit, it can be risky to give a film such a label. ‘Feminist’ is a label that is both given and taken away by the media and discourse surrounding a film.  it is an umbrella term for various socio-political movements, it is a lens in which to view the world and a standard to hold things to. How could this be encapsulated within a film? Within Feminism itself there are internal arguments, one person's feminism may look completely different to someone else's. 

Take a look at Barbie, celebrated by some as a feminist classic, but belittled by others as not being feminist enough. How could Barbie be a perfect feminist film? In 90 minutes could the film have covered aspects of a movement that’s history varies so hugely from country to country. There wouldn’t be time to then expand into intersectionality*, would Warner Bro’s dare discuss abortion issues, Barbie meets a TERF? By putting both Barbie and Poor things up to this impossible feminist standard it leads to them being torn down by an angry mob. It is important to view film critically, especially when these topics are covered, but when these films face so much backlash it can have knock on effects and scare filmmakers from attempting to cover women’s issues in their projects. Barbie is a film that set out to make money, it’s based on a bloody toy! While we can acknowledge that there were issues with the topics covered, it is important to also be grateful that a film like this exists, made so much money and definitely introduced or expanded upon feminist topics to the audience. 

This leads me to ask, where is this energy for films without a male lead? Feminism can be a critique applied to all films yet seems to only be extended to those with a female lead. Just because a film has a female lead doesn’t mean it is feminist. I think this echoes the emotional labour that society puts on women to represent feminism and fight for respect for themselves and other women. Do we all lack the object permanence to remember feminism unless we’re directly gazing upon a woman? In order to be successful, feminist practices need to be adopted in all aspects of a film, yes with female characters, but also behind the screen. A role can be written and directed by a man, just because it is played by a woman does not mean it is feminist or not exploitative.  

Capitalism wants to sell us feminism as this neat little package, it wants us to buy into it and forget that there is no way to price an ideology. Poor Things is a fantasy film, not a feminist film, feminism is not a genre. Yes, there are Feminist themes, but there are also prominent themes of class issues, yet no one is rushing to label it as a communist film. If we cannot decide a set framework or criteria for a feminist film, we need to stop trying to use that label. Feminism is a critique that can be applied to all media, and feminist debate surrounding film needs to also expand to cover those behind the scenes. Let’s just enjoy some cinema and accept that it cannot fit into the high standard, but by sparking a conversation it can do more and still be used to educate people. 

*Hey, don’t know about intersectionality? Thats cool, but you should acquaint yourself. Intersectionality in feminism is an acknowledgement that gender based oppression isn’t one size fits all and that other factors such as class and race can have a huge effect. Read up 

[anheliotrope]

Shallow Approaches to Transhumanism

I recently watched Rhystic Studies' video on Phyrexia. In case you aren't aware, Phyrexia is a hellscape and a faction where horrific and runaway transhumanism features heavily.

I am often disappointed by how shallow even (supposedly!) great works of art treat transhumanism. I don't think Phyrexia says much that is meaningful on the topic of transhumanism's political problems -- and I'm pretty sure that was never the goal. I don't think MTG has to be deep on this axis, people don't go to fantasy for realistic political analogues, but despite that, people are drawn to trying to suggest strong connections to real world political issues. And this always makes me focus on the inadequacies of art rather than its virtues.

We live in a world where, sans AI risk, the main threat from technology is unequal control, which will lead to the class that has control over technology dominating the class that does not -- and this process can accelerate. This social problem is rarely represented in media and it is ongoing. It is not a problem of the future, it is a problem of the present. Those who do not have access to technology are forever at the mercy of those who do. And technological progress accelerates technological progress.

More on Phyrexia

To take Phyrexia as an example of shallowness -- it has beings that are just stronger than others. The resulting hierarchy is somewhat arbitrary or fueled by fantasy worldbuilding -- it is not generated by the societal structure of Phyrexia. The concept of Phyrexia generates the social structures as needed, in order to serve the themes the artist already wanted to depict.

And a lot of these themes of technology-induced spiritual degradation are used purely because it is a popular and easy theme to approach. It has been affixed to the shared artistic consciousness of humanity though sheer repetition because it is an easy way to introduce a tension where none would otherwise exist, and to explore interesting and messed up things.

Its origins lie in two places. Religious opposition and economic fears. For that matter, I can freely admit it is delicious for Phyrexia to have religious overtones -- this embraces spiritual degradation, it's just on the nose now, but it also assimilates a desire for spirituality within that which supposedly destroys it. I think MTG fails to take this synthesis to its extreme however -- Phyrexia is never a genuine religion that just happens to be extremely messed up, but rather it is a monument to the sin of pride, ala Divine Comedy.

Phyrexia's language is vastly more developed by the creators and has its own unique beauty, but the same care isn't given to its religious worldbuilding, which remains, in most cases, just an inversion of good, failing to emphasize the alien.

Human Revolution [spoilers]

Looking at Deus Ex: Human Revolution, the endings feature a pretty insane set of choices. I am going to explain them very expediently, feel free to look them up in more detail.

Reveal the truth about what corporations have been doing with augmentation technology and let humanity decide.

Pervert the truth, blame extremists, so that skepticism of augmentation technology does not rise.

Pervert the truth, to make all of it look as just an accident that can be resolved by increased government regulation.

Destroy the mcguffin facility, never share any information to humanity, to "let them decide".

The fourth ending is so idiotic we can ignore it.

If you have any respect for your fellow humans, casually creating an extremely potent distortion of reality by falsifying evidence on such an important matter should be out of the question (2 & 3).

If you pick ending 2, Adam talks about how it is in humanity's nature to rise above its limitations. Ending 3 is like a dumbass centrist take, humanity should self improve, but we need more oversight.

Ending 1, which is, on the object level, the least morally objectionable one, triggers Adam to say some extremely opinionated shit at the end such as "Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal". Technology is bad and humanity cannot be trusted with it.

The common theme in all of this is that there are never specific groups at fault or specific features of how we have set up society. It's always about the essential moral value of technology and whether humanity's nature is good enough to handle technology. It is inherently both a collectivistic view and a strongly morally essentialist view. Phyrexia investigates transhumanism from the same angle, in this respect. I could rant for two hours how extremely Christian brained this is, but I'll spare you that.

What I mean to say in the end is that the vast majority of media is completely allergic to dealing with object level problems, with specificity. It is easier to repeat existing themes than to look again at the world and investigate something more relevant to our lives.

[catgirladjacent]

20 Questions for Fic Authors

my buddy parker @amrv-5 tagged me in this and i Do love talking about myself slash my writing so. here we go babey! more questions under the read-more :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17 in all, plus some that that i wrote in high school, orphaned, and probably could find again but simply have no desire to.

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

99,759.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

those which are recently (~past five years) i have published for M*A*S*H, resident evil, saw, breaking bad, and the MCU

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

alright this is where we get into anonymized fic territory -- much of these were written when i was in very late high school/early college and are representative of that in both quality and tone. i'll still link them but...you know, that's what we're getting into!

you've arrived at last, my friend, 309 kudos

carrying the weight together, 218 kudos

losing me at your fingertips, 179 kudos

my tired eyes are blind, 147 kudos

i take my cue from you, 143 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to but feel bad just saying "thanks :D" five hundred times over so more often only if i have something of substance to reply

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

honestly i am not good at undeniably angsty endings; a lot of my MCU stuff had a running theme of "nothing every really gets better" but also was heavy on the comfort parts of hurt/comfort. recency bias aside, i'm inclined to say snapshot of a morning, 1954 is up there for the absolute lack of resolution for BJ's ennui and borderline anhedonia

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

probably kotenok, arguably the cutest. it's "bucky gets a cat: the fic!"

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

ah....yes and no? i'll write sex scenes in a work, but not so much porn for porn's sake. i have a google doc of some indulgent paragraphs that i've written in the dead of night but those are for my eyes alone

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

also no

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

i think the one that i'll always come back no matter the time in between is, admittedly, steve/bucky MCU. rewired my brain and i think is just a part of me forever now!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

god. i have this whole contrived resident evil AU that i write for as the mood strikes me but the gist is "leon is unwillingly transferred to the BSAA after the events of RE6 because it's not great governmental optics for your best agent to seemingly go rogue and kill the president"

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like my prose! I have what i know is a very consistent writing style and tone

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i'm far better with it in original fiction, funnily enough, but when it comes to fic i tend to loiter and meander SO much. this scene only needs to be a few hundred words to move things along? you're getting quadruple that and none of it will ultimately contribute anything to the plot. i LOOOVE to be verbose. read my words boy

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i do it in english, for however much sense that makes -- if it's from the speaker's pov or that of someone who understands the second language, i'll use something like:

"Here's a sentence in a different language!" Character exclaimed in, unexpectedly, an enthusiastic ramble of Non-English Language.

if the POV character doesn't understand the second language, i'll just use a "Character said something in Non-English language, far beyond the comprehension of POV character, and the conversation had moved well on by the time POV character could ask."

i quite frankly have never once used any end-notes "translation guide," i think it's greatly counter-intuitive to a reading experience, and especially so for any non-latin scripts. sorry but it just doesn't work for me! for little foreign words, especially nouns, which cannot be directly translated, i'd use the native word and then define it best possible in the work then keep the ball rolling

19. First fandom you wrote for?

um. god. do i have to admit it? do i really? it was dan and phil RPF. yeah like the british yewchubers

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

i have this really soft spot for my jane/jesse breaking bad fic surrender (my everything). that's romance, baby!!

thank you so much for the ask parker this was lots of fun to think about when i haven't touched a lot of fic writing in so long! i'll tag uhh @thebrandywine and @doomednarrative if either of you feel so inclined!

[irisbleufic]

I hate this new trend now a days for teens to make fun old books or classics like Shakespeare, Gatsby or Anne Frank(them forgetting she was real). Calling characters stupid or how they would do things differently in their place. When they have no idea. None zero. I seriously doubt they would. I hate when they say people who like these books are anti feminist or some other bullshit. Do they not realize what these books were to the people at the time of them?

This is a tricky and frustrating question. As someone who’s been teaching English literature and writing for approaching 17 years (and studying these disciplines for even longer), I’ve seen trends in attitudes toward the classics come and go. There’s not always a logical explanation for those trends from cohort to cohort of students, either.

Let’s take Shakespeare and Fitzgerald as examples, since those are two that you name in your ask. When I was in junior high and high school during the 1990s, it was trendy to love Shakespeare’s plays—but deeply uncool to love The Great Gatsby, for some reason. I remember being teased by classmates for liking the latter, because wasn’t it just so boring? My classmates seemed to feel like Shakespeare’s works at least had a lot of stuff happening in them. I don’t know about my classmates, but my attitude toward these authors’ works hasn’t changed over time. I still enjoy both.

When I was an undergrad from 2000-2005, I feel like Shakespeare was still cool (especially Hamlet). I can’t remember any of my undergrad classmates talking about Gatsby at all during my time as a music major who switched to an English major, all the while taking classes in both disciplines, only in different proportions. The only mention I heard of Gatsby during college was that there had been an operatic adaptation. I didn’t get to see it, and I kind of regret that.

While I was in grad school and first starting to teach from about 2007-2014, Gatsby landed on my radar again because it was back in fashion with high school and college students. I heard about more Gatsby-themed school dances and parties than I can count. I’m sure Baz Luhrmann’s film during that window of time helped. I don’t think I saw my students as enthusiastic about Shakespeare unless it was a creepy or violent one like Macbeth. There seemed to be a love of extremes in what they were reading, especially when it came to classics.

At this point in time, you’re right about Gatsby in particular falling out of fashion again with younger readers. It represents a level of risk and excess that, quite frankly, I can’t entirely blame them for disliking given how the majority of their teenage and young adult years are going. Just look at what’s happening in the world. I don’t think most of them find characters in those circumstances relatable.

There are exceptions to every rule, but social trends are reflected in what people read and how they critique it. Don’t forget that we’re also seeing social conservatism swing back with a vengeance, and not just in the US. From Christian fundamentalism in politics to secular purity culture (which is more or less the same thing with God’s name filed off) in fandom, I can think of any number of reasons why a book like Gatsby would be snubbed. Shakespeare seems to be faring better with my students at the moment, as the plays run such a wide gamut of events and issues.

As for making fun of Anne Frank and not believing she’s real, well…it’s hella antisemitic out there right now. That’s a whole other post that this Jew is way too tired to make.

[izzyspussy]

I got a question a long time ago from I don't remember who about how I made sure the witch noir power types (which are inspired by cultural folklore) were not offensive or appropriative, and I think my answer was probably pretty dismissive, so I decided to give some actual examples of the ones I still remember and my process for coming up with them.

First off, remember that folklore is not synonymous with religion or spiritual practices. So that already makes taking inspiration from there much less delicate of a thing to do. To give a comparative example before we get into the process examples: say I wanted to make a power in this fashion inspired by North American Native culture. I would use "land stewardship" or something similar as my jumping off point, NOT something like the w*ndigo. The difference between those things is significant, and I think pretty clear?

I also think a big part of this system that makes it not insensitive is that none of the powers (and therefore none of the - obliquely - referenced cultures) are exoticized. What I mean by that is that power type isn't determined by skin color or religion, and every power type is equally special and mundane to each other (aside from the oppressed group of types, which are primarily based in my own cultures anyway just because those are what the main characters have and in this particular work the main characters are tangentially representing me). There's no Magical Brown Guy or whatever that trope is called. inversely, neither are any of the white people inspired power types portrayed as being more "civilized" or otherwise more inherently Good™ in any way.

Now for some actual inspirations I took, the witch types they ended up being, and how I got there.

1. spin the globe, pick a people. okay, Slavic. get more specific. Romania. take it back now y'all. Transylvania. so obviously vampires then. what are vampire "powers". hypnotism. what's the basic concept of hypnotism. control of perception. apply some limits. only works on relative strangers. word associate to name it. first impressions -> impressionist. no that's already a widely recognizable word in the language I'm writing in. well they can make people trust them on sight, kind of like how some baby animals imprint on the first thing they see. experiment with suffixes until it sounds good. google that to make sure it's not already something. viola, the Imprintor witch type.

2. pick a people. Asian. get more specific. Chinese. what's one of the most iconic Chinese artifacts (is that the right word?). the Great Wall. what was its purpose. to protect the border. a protective barrier. how can I make that into a power. warding is already a type of magic. make it unique using characteristics of the Wall. it was made with extraordinary physical labor. for this power wards must be connected and maintained by the caster through a physical part of them left behind. now name it. protector -> guard -> the Guardian witch type.

3. pick a people. European. get more specific. Italian. what have they got. da Vinci -> no ideas. Vatican City -> Catholicism -> I'm not into that. what's a culturally-based quirk Italians are known for? superstition. how can I turn that into a power type. someone in the presence of whom superstitions become true. apply limitations because holy shit lol. now name it. superstitionist? no that's too on the nose. something to do with omens. behold, the Augur witch type.

4. pick a people. central American. get more specific. Mexican. what's a frequent theme in Mexican art? death -> dia de los muertos -> communication and visitation from the spiritual world. that doesn't really need any finagling. name it. look up a list of things people who can talk to spirits are called. pick one -> the Medium witch type.

5. pick a people. Irish. first thought is of course fairies. no, fairies are their own thing. second thought: "luck of the Irish" -> bad luck. how can I turn that into a power. someone who can inflict bad luck on people. add good luck and some other easily associated things like grace/clumsiness to round it out and get it on the level of the other power types (and make sure no type can only be villainous - or heroic for that matter). name it. it's based on what amounts to a cheeky little curse. a hex -> the Hexist witch type.

I also reverse engineered... well, at least one.

pick a people. European again. get more specific. Greek. gosh they sure have a lot of statues of gods and heroes. idols, you might say. what would the powers of an Idol be? well idols are worshipped, so someone who can make you worship them. include an opposite effect to round it out like with the Hexist. apply some specificity and limitations, and make it more morally neutral. an Idol is someone who can extreme-ify emotions in other, as to turn like into love and annoyance into hate.

In the name of full disclosure, I did have a few types initially that I later decided either toed the line of appropriation or learned used words or traditions that were not meant to be shared, and I either got rid of them or adjusted them until they were distant enough from the starting point - or could just as easily be gotten through the same process from a different starting point - that I didn't feel it was necessarily connected anymore.

Again to compare, unlike say Joker who transposed the names and images of real Native American spiritual figures in her fundamentally British Christian boarding school fantasy, I first of all did not use specific figures or practices, nor anything expressly religious (other than, again, my own), and also only used the folklore/motif/symbol/characteristic/idiom/philosophy/geography/etc as a jumping off point rather than lifting it wholesale. The power types I made are in fact power types that I made, and only use things as a basis that are broad or nebulous enough in nature that they can't really be stolen or misrepresented.

So that's why I'm, as I said in my more dismissive answer, "not that worried about it". Does that make sense, whoever asked several months ago...?

(not tagging witch noir taglist atm because I'm on mobile and that's an absolute hassle. will do later. if I remember. I will tag @athena-anna-rose right now tho, since I remember you briefly struggling a while ago with making a magic system. idk if you still need that or if this kind of structure is at all relevant to what you're going for, but just in case lol.)

[utilitycaster]

I know this is going to sound pretentious but I do think that the concept of fandom as it exists today in part fuels a lot of the really rigid and, in my opinion, childish ways people engage with works. I'm thinking specifically of the question I got earlier this week about violence, but it's definitely not the only aspect.

Social media fandom often rewards a lack of context. This isn’t new nor exclusive to social media, to be fair; AUs, in which the entire point is to strip out context, have been popular for a long time. But social media certainly makes it easier. Twitter, by design, cannot provide much context. But even longer form places like Tumblr are usually dominated by art or gifs, which may or may not actually engage with what’s happening in the work and which can only provide a moment or so from it. It’s very easy to only relive the highlights, or even a version that never existed. (I’ve seen some wild gif edits.)

Social media can also lead to the phenomenon of people getting into a fandom, more so than getting into the work, and I do think this is a newer thing in that entering into fandom in the earlier days of the internet, or even pre-internet, required a much more significant effort. Today, though, in really extreme cases you get people who only engage with fandom and not with the original in some kind Plato’s allegory of the cave hellscape, and in doing so perpetuate fanon over canon, and because they are in the end fans of fandom, not the work, everything they touch sort of swirls into a bland universal fanon that they overlay onto whatever they see. And because that fanon is meant to cover everything it applies rules that were never meant to apply to the originals.

There’s also a sense of belonging that people like with fandom; but again, if you start with the intent to get into the fandom, you aren’t here for the work itself and that, I think, is where people start feeling betrayed by the work or angry at it for not fitting an idea in their head. There’s a great post outlining, theoretically, exactly how this would happen for The Cask of Amontillado.

That, I think, is why people get so angry at the concept of violence in a work. I mean yeah some of it is privilege/conservative upbringings that they haven’t properly interrogated/the whole other can of worms that is how social media engages with mental health and personal responsibility, but I do think a huge factor is people saw a piece of fluffy art or an incorrect quote, said “this is for me!” without looking into the context or the genre, and then are furious that this was a picture not indicative of the larger themes (or even a picture of something that never happened in the original) because this was supposed to be comfort media! It was supposed to represent them! But it’s not, and it never was.

None of this is to say that art or gifs or memes or even divergence from canon in your fan works are bad. I like those things a lot! It’s just that it’s astoundingly easy to only look at the fan works to the point of ignoring what’s actually happening, and then being blindsided by what is actually happening coming to its logical conclusion. It's deciding to watch a movie because of the blooper reel and then being mad that there's more to it than that.

This ties into something I’ve said before about people focusing on the wrong aspect of recognized problems (”I don’t like labels”, fridging, bury your gays, “Strong Female Characters”). All of those are problems when they’re a dominant trend, but, well, they require a lot of context to properly understand, both in terms of the specific work, and also in terms of the genre and the historical cultural context in which they were developed and you can't just throw those words out to mean "a thing I don't like is happening".

All of this is a long way to say that you can like what you like, but you look like an idiot when you get mad at something for being exactly what it said it would be. If you don’t want a story with violence, then you’re going to have to actually put in the work to find stories without violence instead of glomming on to whatever has some art or memes you like and then clutching your pearls when it’s more than just those memes.

[opalsiren]

okokok this is about to be a piping hot take. but i honestly think if h2o were made today it wouldn't have been nearly as gay as it was back in the early aughts

hear me out. western media in the early 2000s was soooo homophobic that the mere existence of gay people was consistently called into question. we're talking about a virulently homophobic, lesbophobic, and biphobic culture that failed to represent The Gays except maybe as the butt of some deeply unfunny joke. watch any episode of friends and you'll pick up what i'm putting down. now i'm not saying we've like cured homophobia at a structural level this decade but we have made such great strides in representation since then with canon gays in children's media and conversations about the importance of lgbt kids seeing themselves in media hitting the mainstream

in a weird, roundabout way, the pervasive homophobia of the early 00s actually contributes to a plausible queer reading of the text. the h2o writers likely would never have considered that emma and rikki's banter, chemistry, and dynamic could be construed as romantic since conversations about sexual difference weren't anywhere near mainstream back then. it wouldn't have even crossed their minds that the girlies could be gay for each other. perhaps someone who was in the trenches of the h2o fandom back in the day can speak to this, but it is hard for me to imagine even older viewers noticing some of the queer themes at play given the homophobic culture that dictated media, and vice versa

how and ever if h2o were made today i strongly feel that the gay of it all would have been dialled down substantially. parents watching h2o with their kids would have clutched their pearls at emma and rikki's interactions or heard the girls reiterate time and again that they are more important to each other than boys and alerted the censors. if h2o was written and aired in the early 2020s, thinkpieces would circulate about whether rikki and emma actually qualified as gay rep, and the steven universe/v*ltron/she ra industrial complex would be discoursing to high heaven about the queer themes present in the text. i honestly feel that the writers would have tried to avoid this outcome in the first place by making the show significantly less gay, thus avoiding having to implicate it in such discourse and hand-wringing from concerned parents

'but tumblr user hoziersgf,' i hear you cry, 'mako mermaids is a part of the same canon and aired around the time when conversations about lgbt rep in children's media began to gain traction in the early 2010s. those girlies sure were not even remotely heterosexual yet the terminally online gays never got a hold of mako mermaids!' to that i say that mako mermaids never reached the same levels of success and acclaim purely from a numbers standpoint as h2o, but i don't really have an adequate rebuttal that isn't just 'the overall quality of mako mermaids is objectively worse than the likes of a lot of children's media with canon gay rep from the same cultural moment'

anyway it is very sad? funny to think that homophobia likely played a part in our enjoyment of the gay mermaid show many years on. none of this is to say that the h2o writers were all violent homophobes, but we are all conditioned by the culture which we inhabit, and the deeply rooted homophobia of the early 2000s actually lends itself well to queer readings of the text. whether the h2o girlies 'count' as gay rep is probably discourse better saved for another post. what i will say is that i see myself in emma, in rikki, in cleo, in their bond and their sisterhood and the secret they share, whether the writers intended for me to feel seen in that way or not

[cozycottagetarot]

Pick A Pile: Your Next 6 Months

July - December 2021

Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I asks that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

Reading Specific Disclaimer: Keep in mind this is just for fun and ultimately your actions and things you can’t control are the factors that will truly determine how the next 6 months pan out for you.

PILE 1

Theme // The Lovers Rx — Hello Pile 1! The theme for your next 6 months are all about finding your passion and building a relationship with yourself. Are you going through a rough patch right now Pile 1? Because I’m seeing you getting out of it or having a major shift by the end of the year.

July // Knight of Cups — With the knight of cups, I see you need to get your mood and mindset in check during the month of July. The energy you are in right now could be sooo much better my love. I feel like you’re holding back, there’s this brooding energy I’m picking up on. Focus on expressing yourself in some format (creatively, journaling, when talking to others) because if you do so I see you can allow yourself to begin this journey of transformation.

August // Seven of Pentacles — I’m picking up this energy you may potentially have of “when will things start to get better?” The answer— when you start putting in the work. That’s what August is about. Take some time during this month to really check your strategy at whatever it is you’re brooding about and come up with a game plan.

September // Ten of Swords Rx — So far if you’ve taken the tarot’s advice, then in September you’ll find yourself finding your momentum and strength again as the Ten of Swords Rx can signal getting off of rock bottom in a sense.

October // Ace of Pentacles — To me aces represent new beginnings. During the month of October something you’ve been manifesting (remember August?) is going to start coming thru. I’m also picking up on your financial situation improving or new financial opportunity coming through.

November // Ace of Swords — Your are going to be able to think and see things much clearer during November Pile 1. I don’t see a major ‘aha’ moment, but I do sense a subtle "oh my gosh look how well I’ve been doing" type of energy. 6 may also be a number of importance for you here too.

December // Death — Finally we’ve made it to December and I feel so much good vibes. The previous months may have been… challenging and have pushed you to grow, but when I look at the cards I see something beautiful, and I see progression. You started out, Pile 1, with the knight of cups riding forward with his/their white horse, cup in hand (an intention of sorts) and end with Death on their white horse but now a skeleton holding a flag of what we’ll call victory. I know, it sounds morbid, but the point I’m trying to make is that Death represents transitions and endings, and that is what December had in stored for you.

Oracle Card — Chant//Invoke

Yogi Tea Messages — “In every moment of life, you should be what you ought to be.” | “If we are happy, everybody looks up and shares our happiness.”

PILE 2

Theme // The Fool — Pile 2, I’m not sure the cards wanted you to know what’s in store for you over the course of the next three months. Therefore your reading is kind of short so if you have specific questions just send it in an asks. The general energy is very guarded. The fool here represents, beginnings and potential.

July // Ace of Cups — Ace of Cups is mainly about love and peace. I felt inclined to draw another card and out popped the Ten of Swords. Maybe you’ve had a not-so great experience happen recently, and July is about healing from it and trying to find a place of love and peace within yourself.

August // The Hermit — On this idea or energy, I see The Hermit as hinting that during the month of August you may find yourself doing a lot of self reflection Pile 2. I wanted to know what you were potentially doing self reflection on and out came the Six of Wands which, summarised, is about success and recognition. Self reflection on your progress maybe?

September // Death Rx — During the month of September beware of being resistant. Alternately, things maybe moving slowly and in wanting things to move faster, you maybe creating resistance to your blessings coming thru. Ultimately going with the flow.

October // Eight of Wands — I moved the eight of wands and under it was The Star which I hadn’t realised and was pleasantly surprised. With these two cards, I’m hearing if you heed death’s advice of being aware of your resistance to whatever is going on, you’ll see a sudden improvement in your situation. In October things are picking up and the things you’ve been wishing for will come to you.

November // The Chariot — One of the first things to come to me with this card was ‘faith, trust and pixie dust’. I have no idea why but maybe you do Pile 2. I see you having lots of motivation with The Chariot, finding balance, and success with a problem or situation you maybe having.

December // Four of pentacles Stability will be yours by the end of the year pile 2. However there’s an energy I’m not feeling. I pulled a card to clarify and got the Knight of Swords. Things are coming through for you in December but there is also a message to be aware that the chariot energy you’re carrying from November to December doesn’t morph into an energy stemming from greed and superiority.

Oracle Cards  — Mystery//Dream & Align//Ignite

Yogi Tea Messages — “Think seriously and think honestly.” | “We are born wise, we are born complete.”

PILE 3

Theme // 10 of Swords — Have no fear pile 3,   I’m reading this card as the next 6 months marking completion to a rough  phase in your life.

July // 6 of Wands — Success and   victory you’ve been growing and working on yourself or a creative endeavor. During July you may find yourself acknowledging your progress,  or other’s may comment on how well you’re doing.

August // 8 of Swords Rx — If you have been feeling powerless or trapped Pile 3, that is going to change. You may be opening your eyes to a situation or a truth maybe revealed.

September // King of Swords — I’m seeing you stepping up and being in-charge... being more levelheaded. With the butterflied on the throne, I’m thinking maybe you were more erratic in thought or and emotion? Or maybe during September butterflied will be of importance. Honesty and good communication is also key.

October // 6 of Cups — During October you maybe taking a trip down memory lane, or indulging in old/childhood enjoyments. Someone from your past may also be showing back up in your life.

November // 10 of Pentacles — I see you coming into abundance. It could be material abundance but it doesn’t have to be. There’s also a message of keep doing what you’re doing.

December // 9 of Cups — To end the year off you maybe feeling more content and satisfied with the things you’ve been doing. Keep up the mindset you’ve seemingly come into and enjoy the good things life has to offer.

Oracle Card —  Love//Empathy

Yogi Tea Messages — “People who love are giving.” | “Let your energy be used to build not destroy.”

PILE 4

Theme // 6 of Swords Rx — Pile 4, my chaotic little bunch. With the 6 of Swords reversed I feel you maybe regressing if you’re not careful.

July // 5 of Wands Rx — Here this card represents the end of conflict and moving on. I don’t know if it’s working out for you... I feel like you might just be like ‘screw it’ and move on. Throughout the reading I kept feeling like it was related to familial disagreements so for some of you that could be it.

August // The Fool —  The fool is about fresh starts, potential and being carefree. While I do see that, in this reading the dog by the fool’s foot jumps out at me as a warning of sorts. While new beginnings may be in the works, be careful of making rash decisions and not thinking things through.

September // Justice — I see things as balanced for you during September Pile 4, maintain that energy of balance going forward.

October // Queen of Wands — For me this is one of my favourite cards because I see it as being in your ideal energy, being your own muse. It’s time to come into that healthy, attractive, confident, creative energy.

November // Queen of Cups Rx — Why would you be wallowing Pile 4? You were doing so well and now the cards show me you finding yourself in an upset and moody energy. This is where familial disagreements really came to me since depending where you live the holiday season really kicks off in November and potentially so does family tension. Regardless of what it is, during November you may need to show yourself some extra love and prioritize self care.

December // 5 of Swords — You’re fiery Pile 4, and I don’t see you as they type to take crap from anyone. You know your situation best and the people around you best so there are two main messages with this card. The first message being one of ‘the world doesn’t revolve around you’. While you need to put yourself first, you also need to understand your actions and decisions affects those around you. Alternately — you need to claim control your rights, your power... whatever you want to see it as. If someone is taking advantage of you, you need to break free and be able to choose yourself.

Oracle Card —  Spiral//Cycle

Yogi Tea Messages — “Life is a flow of love; your participation is requested.” | “An attitude of gratitude brings opportunities.”

[nonbinarykai]

Great dev Kai theory time

Buckle up bc this is gonna be a LONG post

So do y’all remember that one scene in s4... goes a little like

Well a lot of people in the fandom has simply explained this scene as the staff possessing him. But personally I’ve never agreed with that statement for multiple reasons

Chen doesn’t have red eyes and he’s been holding the staff the entire time

We know from after this scene that the staff comes from these crystal caves, characters spend days in there and none of them have the same effect as Kai

Skylor has all the same powers in the staff but doesn’t go feral like Kai even when in the cave with the crystals

In s11 we see the red eyes again, it might be because of kais powers but since s11 seems to take direct inspiration from s4 I think it’s something a bit deeper then that

Ok so then if it isn’t the staff what is it then?

For the longest while I wondered that to, it makes no sense for it to be the staff, so then where could it have come from? However when I was watching s4 for the first time, a very specific line stood out to me.

This line comes directly before the episode where Kai turns feral. And considering they both have the same eye color I don’t think this is a coincidence either. The writers where clearly hinting towards something relating between garm and Kai in s4, and I think that’s great devourer venom.

What other parallels are there between the two?

In episode one and six we probably get the best example with chen using the exact same “he did what he had to do to win” line with both of them

Lloyds character arc did seem to resolve around them, his arc was meant to be him realizing he can’t just condemn people without knowing there motives first and to try to think and forgive in the perspective of those people. It starts off with Lloyd berating Kai and ends with Lloyd forgiving garm

Chen manipulates them both in the same way, with trying to convince them to turn against there friends in return for something they deeply wanted

While sure these examples don’t directly prove that Kai is infected with great devourer venom, I think it’s meant to show that there was meant to be a story parallel with Garm and kai, and Kai going evil with the staff was meant to be there way of connecting the two characters.

What happened with s4?

Wait but if these parallels were meant to be connected then why weren’t they expanded upon past episode 7?

Great question, I think it’s the same reason that kais arc was properly resolved and why garm was suddenly killed and why morro had an appearance to the end of the season.

The ending was changed

Now this is a VERY big claim I’m throwing out with little scraps of evidence to support it. Take it with a grain of salt but this is my personal theory for why the ending of s4 seems so disconnected with the rest of the series.

I personally think that the original ending to s4 was going to have Kai turn evil, but was changed last minute because they wanted to keep him as a ninja. Episodes 8 to 10 are all reworks to try to fit there new idea better. The scrapped idea for Kai were then pushed onto morro ((which is why we see him appear in s4 despite the fact it was clear that s5 hadn’t gone so far into conception. Morro after all has the same motivation of wanting to become the green ninja and seems to have the same demanding personality that evil Kai has in s4. It would also explain why kais character arc was cut short and why there seemed to be a lot of contrived plot ideas that seem to go against the first 7 episodes and why garm was sacrificed. It would also explain this season having a shorter run time then s1-s2

So then where does it go from s4?

While it might seem like the concept for evil Kai is cut from s4. I don’t really think that the idea of him has been completely lost yet. Throughout the series we see Kai be connected with snakes multiple times. Whenever there’s a snake for a villain it always seems to tie back to Kai in some way, either from it being directly tied back to him or it effecting him majorly. Multiple times through the series we see snakes as a sort of symbol for Kai, in S1 the snake symbol on the green gi was meant to represent Kai and in s12 we have a snake directly on his avatar outfit with the Harumi face mask. Snakes have been a running theme for Kai for the longest time now.

We also get s11, where we once again see Kai return to that feral state. While many people say this is due to kais powers, I personally think this is a sort of return from evil Kai in s4. Not only because of the red eyes but because kais lines in that scene seem to reflect evil kais lines. With him directly denying anything that doesn’t go his way. Considering the forbidden spinjitzu staff and ice emperor might be taking inspiration from s4 it wouldn’t be a surprise

It would also explain why Kai doesn’t seem to be effected by evil artifacts like the staff of forbidden spinjitzu or dark matter. If you notice throughout the series, whenever there are moments of the cast turning evil due to a artifact Kai seems to be unaffected. You can’t turn someone who’s already evil, evil

So when did Kai get infected? My personal theory is that Kai got infected in Season 2 episode 7, him being thrown off screen into some pots while venom was dripping from the roof would be a great time to slip it in without anyone noticing at first.

That’s personally just my theory, I do have a lot more personal concepts and theories on how the venom work but that’s just how I think it ties into Kai. 😳

[writingquestionsanswered]

How do I come up with a gripping title for my book?

10 Ways to Craft a Gripping Book Title

Everyone knows you want a book title that’s unique, gripping, memorable, and relevant, but how do you craft a title that meets those criteria? Here are some tips...

#1 Look at Other Titles in Your Genre - This should be the first step, really, because different genres can have their own common title styles. For example, mysteries and thrillers often contain words like murder or death, or vague character references like “the woman” or “the man who...” Knowing what’s popular in your genre gets your brainstorming session off on the right foot. 

#2 Make a List of Story Keywords - Your story’s keywords are an important tool for promoting and marketing your book, but one of the first places they come in handy is when you’re brainstorming titles. If you had to boil your book down to a list of relevant words, what would they be? For Harry Potter , some keywords might be magic, wizardry, wizards, muggles, potions, spells, transfiguration, patronus, dark magic, etc.

#3 Look at the Text of Your Story - Sometimes, the title of your story is a phrase that exists in your story. For example, maybe your protagonist’s grandmother always tells him he’s brighter than he looks. Brighter Than I Look could be a good title. 

#4 Consider Famous Sayings - Are there any famous phases, mottoes, idioms, nursery rhymes, etc. that fit your story in any way? Ken Kesey’s book One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest uses a line from a nursery rhyme as a title. Not only are birds a powerful symbol in the story, but the rhyme’s reference to “flight” offers a clue to something that will happen in the story, too.

#5 Look at Your Story’s Opposing Themes, Subjects, or Forces - Every story revolves around conflict. A good force versus an evil force, one mindset against another mindset, one entity against another entity. Angles Versus Demons, Pride & Prejudice, North and South, The Blue and the Gray. 

#6 Descriptive Imagery Makes Great Titles - Is there a particularly relevant moment in your story where there’s memorable descriptive imagery? For example, maybe after the inciting incident, your character hikes out to his favorite spot called Hester’s Brook, and while he’s there it begins to snow. Snowfall at Hester’s Brook could be a good title.

#7 Who, What, Where, When - Who is your story about? (Emma, The Raven Boys, Six of Crows.) What is your story about? (The Hunger Games, The Scorpio Races, Looking for Alaska.) Where does your story take place? (Wuthering Heights, Northanger Abbey, The Hazel Wood.) When does your story take place? (Love in the Time of Cholera, April Morning, The Winds of War.)

#8 The Big Question - Sometimes, the big question of the story provides an interesting title. For example, maybe the inciting incident of your story is the moment when the protagonist sees a mysterious man watching her in a crowd, and finding out who he is represents the big mystery of the story. Blue Eyes in a Crowd could be your title.

#9 The Big Answer - Depending on the big question of your story, you can sometimes even work the answer into the title. Maybe the blue-eyed man turns out to be the protagonist’s father who went missing decades earlier. The title could be Memories of a Forgotten Father. 

#10 Look for Title Formulas - As a last resort, Google “book title formula” and quite often you’ll find specific formulas people have come up with for titles. These tend to lead to things like The ____ in the _____. Or _____ of the _____ _______, and as such they can be, well, formulaic. Those kinds of titles have been so trendy that they’re bordering on cliche, but for some books that’s exactly the title you need. These formulas work with your story’s keywords to come up with a catchy title, so if none of the other options work, this one is worth a try.

Best of luck coming up with your title!

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[d-criss-news]

Actor And Producer Darren Criss Reveals His Creative Process

The producer, singer and actor talks his approach to songwriting, discovering his sound and how he’s ready for the next chapter.

We don’t know about you, but we’re currently experiencing the Bank Holiday blues. With the realisation that our days of summer maybe coming to an end were in need of uplifting sounds and singer-songwriter Darren Criss is keeping the energy going with his fun-filled EP “Masquerade”. Between the slick alt-pop productions and high-octane energy, the artist puts his theatrical abilities and prowess at the forefront of the EP. Laced with serene dance floor-ready melodies, the actor and musician instantly gets the party going on the project, kicking it off with “f*kn around”.

“The dirty secret is that every song is character-driven,” the artist revealed when discussing the project. “I just chose wording that could perhaps aid people into understanding this exploration of genre, this self-aware exploration of genre a little more. For those people that only know me as an actor, I’m trying to guide them into this notion of music and songs being a form of acting.”

No newcomer to the scene, the artist has spent the past decade gracing our screens in the cult favourite Glee and the thrilling Assassination of Versace: American Crime Story. Wanting to continue his musical journey in the form of producing and writing, we caught up with the multi-faceted artist talking his growth over the years, staying creative in a pandemic and how he’s ready for the next chapter.

Check out the interview below now…

Hey Darren, how are you? How has this past year been for you? It’s a strange question to answer because everybody’s answer is so much more complicated than what you can say in a quick easy tight polite answer. You know, I’m well, as well as one could be given the situation. I feel, you know, luckier than most. Even with the music that I just put out there’s still more that I’d like to do, but I got to do even more than I thought I’d be able to. So that tends to be kind of the theme of the past year and a half. I feel like I’ve been so consumed by working on so many things for so long, that not a lot of people outside of my inner circle know about that. You know, it’s been a lot of high output but seemingly low visibility. So now finally getting to put out some of these things and talk about them… tipped scale of visibility versus output is hopefully having a chance to even out for a bit, to where the amount of work I’ve put in can somehow match that people you know may or may not know about what I’m doing. You know, I’ve been really busy. I’m the kind of guy where if you give me a white canvas it’s a more…I wouldn’t say stressful, but I’m more likely to fill up a blank canvas immediately with as much shit as possible – I guess that is more stressful than having only a few places to fit things in, and I usually keep pretty busy. Ironically when I’m really busy, that’s when I can get stuff done. Like you know that phrase ‘if you want something done ask the busiest person in the room’, and I think there’s a degree of truth to that because you know, the chaos kind of begets chaos, and productivity begets productivity, and in a lack of anything else to do it was like ‘I wanna do all these things!’ and then it gets really crammed, so it’s nice to be kind of simmering down from this overwhelming call to arms to get as many things done as I could with this new unprecedented free time that I had. So, in short, I guess, am well if you wanna use that! I feel, I’m just relieved that a lot of this stuff can exist somewhere outside of my head but it’s a complicated answer, I’ve been able to do a lot more than I thought I’d be able to.

With everything that happened last year, was your creativity affected? The time that it yielded is the kind of time that a lot of creative people fantasise about. Of course, we would have all preferred it in a very different way when you say ‘if only I had time to sit down and work on this’. I think we all have; I say creative people but we all say, ‘if only I had time to paint the kitchen, learn a language, get in shape’, you know do something different that requires a bit of time and focus. We were all given that golden ticket, of course take that with a massive grain of salt, I’m fully aware of the price with which that came, of course if we had the choice, I don’t think any of us would have wanted it to happen the way it did. But none the less, for those of us who did take the time to focus, to hopefully be productive and proactive with the situation we were thrown into, it was creatively beneficial to finally get to address things that had been sitting kind of on deck and dormant in my mind, and it was just a matter of having the time to give them any attention. One of the joys of jumping between acting and music is there is a battle of time commitment, because neither one is a thing you can do casually. If you’re acting in something, there’s a great degree of scheduling that really eats up a large chunk of your day. While I’m in an acting project, I’m writing stuff and playing music but the actual logistics of producing music is as time consuming as the acting. I am envious of people that can kind of just show up, sing a song and leave. I, unfortunately, am not that kind of person. Writing a song is only a small piece of putting music out. Production really does take a large part of my emotional and intellectual efforts, and I really dive in head on. And that’s not even mentioning the promotional side of it. So, it really does take a lot of time to dive into those things, and I was finally given that. If anything, it was hard to decide what part of my musical menu that I wanted to serve up. It just came to a matter of what felt right at the time, what seemed fun. I kind of wanted to put out something that was positive and fun, and unapologetically so. And something that really showed up for a side of me that I felt like hadn’t been represented in the past. The musician side, and unfortunately, we haven’t been able to perform these very much. We’ve done little videos here and there. Stuff that really showed my roots as a musician, a garage rock guy, a guy that really likes getting in the weeds of production. In the past I’ve put up things that are a little more analogue, singer-songwritey, and this is more me as a producer and a musician.

How did you first get into music, what sparked the interest? Well, I’ve been playing music my whole life, and not casually either. It’s such a massive part of my identity, and that’s one of the main driving forces of me wanting to put out as much music as I possibly can. These five songs on this EP are a small part of a much larger body of work that I’m dying to get out whenever I can. When you’re a songwriter, or just in general a creative person, you have more ideas back logged than your body can execute. This is only a small part of a much larger puzzle, and a lot of these songs, the ones that I’ve put out and the ones I’m still trying to put out, are ghosts that have been haunting me however many years., some more than a decade, some more than two decades. The reason I mention this is because I’m trying to illustrate how pivotal music and making music has been throughout my life. I started playing violin when I was 5, and that was a big part of my cultural education, learning how to play an instrument that is so dynamic and requires a pretty specific ear and technical ability. Now I’m not saying I was fantastic at the violin, but I think the training that I had on it from 5 until my late teens really shaped the way that I would create music and think about music, certainly as a writer and a producer, but with just how I would jump between other instruments as well, because the violin was such a great touchstone for me to end up taking up the piano or guitar, or drums, or other instruments that would really formulate how I create music. Between being the orchestra nerd kid that played a lot of music throughout my young life, and also being the guy that would play in bands, its just been such a huge part of my life. As I’ve gotten older and gotten to understand this other version of myself that exists in more of a public view, that has little to do with that I know, I have started to notice that person, that avatar of myself, isn’t necessarily associated with music. And that was troubling to me, so I wanted to rectify that.”

And now you’ve just dropped your EP, talk us through your mindset going into the project? If I was just a recording artist, and that’s all I did, I’d like to think that I’d have a much larger body of work to show for. I feel like a lot of songwriters feel this way. There is just simply too much music…now I’m not gonna say it’s all fantastic, there’s a reason you have to triage the ones that you think are the best at the time, and there are many songs that I feel would be outdated, they feel very of the time 10 years ago. But you’re always trying to put your best foot forward with the pile you have lurking behind you. So, it is a hard thing to decide which thing you want to put out. Killing your darlings is always a hard thing, figuring out which ones to really focus on is difficult and it usually comes down to who you decide to collaborate with – right before the pandemic was one of the most tumultuous times of my career where I was producing and acting in a show for Netflix, and I was also kind of show running, acting, writing music for, editing, doing everything for this other show I created called ‘Royalties’ on another platform. I was doing both at the same time, and one of the things that made this possible was the people that I would collaborate with. A young man by the name of CJ Baron who I produced and wrote this EP with, he’s sort of the midwife that I chose out of working on Royalties because we had a lot of great songs together. I keep referring to myself as a producer, but I do it from a much more cerebral space, whereas he is a much better technical producer than I am. We really shared a lot in common, so by the time I realised that I wanted to make a piece of music you have to decide ‘who do I want to go down this yellow brick road with?’ And when I decide with CJ, that kind of already hinted at the kind of music that I would put out because he has his own fingerprint, and so I thought there’s something that I have that might mesh well with that fingerprint, so that kind of helps the decision process along of what songs am I gonna put out. But in another world CJ wasn’t interested, so then I think ‘Okay let me try and produce an album with this person’, and that person would reveal a different selection of songs. I’m very open to seeing what the universe is allowing and pushing towards, and I kind of follow that northern star to figure out what songs I’m gonna put out. But the mindset was always ‘put something out’, on a completely pragmatic level. What did I want to have to show for if whenever we got out of this crazy, new age of ‘what does this pandemic mean? We have time to do stuff, when it’s over what do I want to sit there and say that I accomplished?’ And at the very least I needed to put out a few songs, so that was really my mindset – no excuses, this is the time that you used to hope for, and so what are you gonna do if you’ve got the golden ticket, you’ve won the time lottery – so don’t fuck it up Darren! That was my mindset.

You describe them as character-driven singles, why is this? The dirty secret is that every song is character-driven, I just chose wording that could perhaps aid people into understanding this exploration of genre, this self-aware exploration of genre a little more. For those people that only know me as an actor, I’m trying to guide them into this notion of music and songs being a form of acting. The number one question I always get it ‘which one do you prefer?’ and I always say they are the same to me. When I’m an actor I treat characters, characterisation of my voice and body, characterisation of how I deliver words like a piece of music. You’re scoring it the same way, there’s cadence, dynamics, volume, nuance, all kind of things that can make ‘a piece of music’ unique to a person. And that’s how I treat dialogue and characterisation. The other side of that coin is I treat music like I’m acting, like each song has its own character when you’re playing live or recording in a booth. You are donning the proverbial mask of that character and what it requires. I really wanted to keep people into this idea that at the end of the day, it’s all performative and all part of a narrative that don’t necessarily have to do with each other and the way that if you ask Alexa to play a ‘Jack Nicholson playlist’ it would be very disjointed. It would be like okay The Shining, that’s a vibe, and then it would go to As Good As It Gets, and that’s a completely different vibe. They wouldn’t necessarily be on the same playlist, but they are distinctly and undeniably Jack Nicholson. So I always thought that it was a bit of a double standard that actors can do this but in music, you know, I’m proud of this but it’s also very annoying – a lot of my songs would probably not playlist together on the same genres because you have more jazz songs, like a trip hop chill tune that might end up in the back of a Starbucks, but that wouldn’t necessarily go on the same playlist as a tune like ‘I Can’t Dance’, which is a crazy song because it doesn’t even sound like me, I’m literally putting on a different voice, I’m singing like two different people putting on an affectation. There’s a lot of things that are very different but uniquely and distinctly me. The word masquerade is a celebration of a lot of different masks, and in theatre we talk about ‘The Masque’, and how each Masque has it’s own style, history and culture, and I really love the genre, and I love Masques, and I love things that make them interesting, and celebrating things that make them unique, and really trying to maximise their effectiveness as a genre with whatever tools I have as an artist, so that’s really what I’m trying to go for, this whole character driven idea is – it’s all a masquerade.

It very much has a fun-filled vibe to it, was this your intention and why? I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I sat in a studio saying ‘Hey lets not have fun!’, especially during a time that was as fraught with a lot of troubled times. This EP was recorded during very troubling times, so I think I’d be delusional to think that whatever joy is in this EP was not some kind of reaction to that, trying to offer something positive is definitely my MO in life in general, so that’s always gonna bleed its way onto my records. Like it or not. The intention is to record things that can be effective. If the vibe you feel is fun, great. If you feel any vibe at all, whatever the fuck that means, that’s a win for me. If that happens to be the word ‘fun’ then awesome, there’s a lot shittier adjectives that can be derived from this body of work so I will absolutely take it. My intentions are again to try and honour the songs. When you write something it has its own magnetic pull, it has it’s own gravitational pull that you have to kind of follow. If a song sounds a certain way, you want the lyrics to feel the same way that it sounds, and you want the production to feel the way that it vibes for lack of a better word. All songs have different body types and dressing it up and knowing how to tailor it to accentuate the things that make it fun or sexy is really sort of a strange alchemy. It’s not up to me how people experience it, but that’s what makes it fun. Once you put something out into the world it’s up to other people to use their own adjectives of the suit you tailor. I’m always excited when it leaves my head and becomes somebody else’s experience. So hey, if it’s fun – great!

What do you want people to take away from the project? Obviously, I hope people enjoy themselves. Any musician or artist would hope that there’s some kind of memorable experience to be had from it. If I was talking about what I hope people take away from it, that doesn’t have to do with the music itself, I hope that every time I put out music it’s me broadcasting this notion that this is something that I do, and that this is a big part of my identity. I think the songs themselves and what they’re about and how they feel are less of an insight into my identity as the notion of me putting out music is, because I feel like for any artist your journey is a constant negotiation between how you see yourself and how you would like to be seen, and how audiences are willing to see you. And you know, sometimes that balance is not always even. Sometimes the way they see you isn’t the way you see yourself, and sometimes the way you see yourself isn’t the same as the way they see you, so you want to be somewhere in the middle. And ‘Masquerade’ is a huge step forward for me to try and represent who I am and what I’m about to folks who might not see that. So that’s the biggest goal I think with any release but particularly this one.

Who would you cite as your inspirations? I’m one of those people that, when I say that everything inspires me, I’m not trying to be cute. It’s a problem. It’s an actual scourge on my life, where I find everything interesting. I find everything inspirational. It’s such a core belief that I have that there is inspiration to be derived from every walk of life. Stuff like from a lawn chair to a Bach cantata, there are so many things that can be interesting and incorporated into some creative output. It’s just all about how you look at it and how you can perceive and understand where it comes from. There are so many things that are inspiring to me. Of course, this is the massive macro answer that you weren’t looking for, you’re probably looking for ‘what artist are you inspired by?’ I think I’m just inspired by people who are really genuine to themselves, and this is an ironic answer considering that I actually try to be as many different people as possible. It’s a strange thing that actors are celebrated for not being anything like themselves professionally. And musical artists are separated for being as close to themselves and putting their souls as close to the chopping block as possible. I think I’ve really found my niche as a storyteller. I’m envious of some of the great troubadours of history, that can put their souls out on the record for us and put their own personal experience into things. Leonard Cohen and Joanie Mitchell, and Carole King, more modern people like Taylor Swift who really can just bare their souls for us. I really admire them because that’s not a muscle I have. And when you’re an artist I think ‘Okay so what muscle do I have?’, and I think ‘Okay I’m like a playwright, I can make each story for these songs and try and bring them to life with as much accessible ability and reality, and as much truth as I can convey, that’s not to say they’re disingenuine, they’re born from a genuine idea but they’re supported by my background as an actor. Baring myself isn’t something that comes as naturally for me, I really admire those people and I try and perhaps emulate a lot of their song writing in whatever limited way that I can. Genres are inspiring to me, lets talk about song writing, and then there’s producing which are two different things to me, because when I hear music I hear chords, I hear melody, I don’t listen to the snare sample, but I always hear the bare bones and then I think about production. So as far as producing is concerned I think it’s really important to know all genres and to listen to what makes each one interesting and respecting those genres, and then when you are producing something yourself, and then taking from each thing by knowing why and how they work within that genre, so again to use a song like ‘I Can’t Dance’ which is a nod to late 70s/early 80s, somewhere between disco and new wave, I’m employing the things that make those genres fun, to me at least, and trying to smoosh them together in a way that sounds cohesive. So…everything is inspiring to me, it’s hard. But each song has a different source of inspiration, but they don’t transfer between all songs.

You’ve also wrote for animated series and for Glee, is the process different for producing? “This is actually a very good question. I think this ties into what I was saying before about writing for narrative is something of a calling that I think I’ve realised more recently is kind of where I can plant my feet more easily than any other type of song writing. I was mentioning the people that can bare their souls, some people have a really good ability of putting themselves out there but also writing as a satirist of character that he creates. The person that is a master of this is Randy Newman, he’s one of the greatest American songwriters of the 20th century. He has an amazing ability to create these scenarios or create first person accounts of people that aren’t actually him, but he can contextualise with his literal voice, his song writing voice, and make those their own sort of satirical version of himself. There’s a lot of layers going on there, but I’ve always thought of him as really excellent. He’s like a playwright with music, he’s writing musicals, I mean he’s won Oscars for writing music for narrative! That’s something that I’d really like to do – from a technical standpoint it’s actually very liberating because when you’re writing music with your name on it, you’re the artist, then there’s this sort of weird expectation that you’re trying to service which is why I like this idea of putting the mask on and separating the songs from my own personal experience, because I need to separate myself from my own experience of the music you’re hearing, at least on the surface. My big break was A Very Potter Musical, that I feel to this day are my biggest hits because I don’t really have hits, but as far as the songs that people know that strangers know of songs that I’ve written, they were songs that were written for characters. It’s a bit like painting by numbers. If you just write a song from scratch about anything, it’s like the canvas I’m talking about again. You can do anything, or go anywhere, and that’s overwhelming. Having parameters, knowing where the gates are, is extremely helpful, knowing when the deadline is, knowing how long your party can go for. It means you can maximise the space you know you have. When you write for narrative you go ‘this is the character’, ‘this is how they speak’ – so you already have your lyrical information there – ‘this is how they talk’, ‘this is the singer, the singer has a great range that goes from this note to this note’, ‘in this scene we need the character to go from point A to point B, and we want it to be a song that sounds like X’, so you create all these amazing little ingredients, and I look at artists like a service industry, I really enjoy servicing what the person or the experience requires. When I have a menu of ‘we want this, this, this’, it’s like okay great I’ve got you! A three-and-a-half-minute song that sounds like this song, but has to be in this key and has to be a duet, I really thrive on that. And it’s probably one of my more favourite versions of song writing. And usually there’s a deadline, so I can get it done! Because I need to get it done for production. I really enjoy coming back to writing for narrative, because I did that for Royalties with CJ, and when I realised how much I enjoyed doing that and how productive I was when I was writing for a narrative, that’s when I got into the idea of ‘I need to stop trying to bare my own soul in music’. I think if I treat it like I’m writing for a character, not only can I get it done faster but I feel like I can make things stronger. So that’s when I decided that’s what I’m gonna do for this next EP. Writing for other shows and characters is what helped me realise my strengths as a songwriter.”

What is next for you? What are you most excited for? “As I mentioned I think productivity begets productivity, and that’s exactly what happened with this EP. Even if the pandemic hadn’t happened and I didn’t have the time, I think I would have been just as emboldened from working on Royalties with CJ and it got me very excited about working on music and how much joy that gives me. Any artist will say the same answer, but I think by the time stuff comes out artists are already over it because they’ve been living with it for a year and a half, and in my case over a decade with these songs, so I’m always ready to move on and go to the next thing. Everything is a stepping stone, so I’m very happy that this EP is out, I think it’s a great representation of a lot of stuff that’s been unaddressed for far too long. I just wanna get going, it gets me excited about keeping the ball rolling as a songwriter or as a producer, I just don’t want this to be like ‘This is the thing I did during the pandemic’, I want to keep it going and be more proactive about keeping time aside for it, because that’s the name of the game. When you’re acting or doing music, you have to balance it with time, and this pandemic has shown me how much I enjoy spending time on music, so I’m gonna carry that on. But of course, as soon as I say that, that’s when something unexpected and something too juicy that I can’t keep my hands off it happens on the acting side. One learns to be pretty flexible, because as soon as I say one thing something else will happen, and that’s been the narrative for the past decade of my life. I hope to just keep going. I’ve been this lucky for this long so I’m not gonna pretend like I’m going to keep being this lucky. If I get to act great, if I get to do music great. I can’t believe I’m in a position where its like ‘oh if the acting thing doesn’t work out, I’ll just do music!’ or the other way around, it’s a highly privileged list of options, and I’m fully aware of that. So as long as I can have one or the other to fall back on, I will always be excited about option. It’s not always up to me, so we’ll see. Everything that I’ve put out is just a way for me to renew my lease with my ability to show up for myself as well as people that I don’t knows ability to be interested in what I have to do next. But I won’t flatter myself, I’m not gonna say that lease is forever, so I’m just trying to put in the time and work to keep it at the very least somewhat interesting.”

Photography - Amanda Demme

[deniigi]

sorry to bother again but i am a freshman in college and i am v stressed

how did you get through it and how do I make myself not want to drop every single class i’m in every semester

how does one take more than 5 classes at a time

i am in midterm hell and i am Scared™️

oh you mean, ‘Matt, please do your actual literal job on main?’ Because this is sort of my actual literal job, friend. So don’t worry. I’ve got you.

So first thing’s first, when planning future semesters:

I would recommend against taking more than 5 classes at a time. Mathematically, it is not great for you. If you have to take more than 5, plan on doing 1-2 to during summer school. You won’t be behind. You’re fine. I swear.

Example for future class planning: For every class, look at the number of units/credits it is. That is around the number of hours that you’re gonna spend in that class a week. Now multiply that by 2. That’s about the number of hours total you’re gonna spend on that class in a week (both in class and doing homework).

That means that a 3 unit/credit class = 6 hours of work per week.

You have five of those classes. That means that you’re doing around 30hrs of school work a week. If you have six of those classes, you’re practically working a fulltime job with little to no pay and benefits.

End story: Do not take more than 5 classes a semester if you can help it.

If you can, don’t take more than 4 classes in your major per semester, either. You will die. Use electives and general education classes as your fourth or fifth class to lighten your load and give yourself something that you enjoy and know you can pass for sure. That will give you some breathing room and will help you maintain your GPA.

Coping with Overload now:

At this point in the semester, it’s a little late to be dropping classes, so what you’re going to do instead is to schedule the fuck out of your time.

You need to pick and stick to set dates/times for completing coursework and midterm projects for the next week or two. People do this in different ways, but generally speaking, people will assign projects/homework to certain days.

Example: Monday is Chemistry homework night because assignments are due on Wednesday. You only work on Chemistry on Monday. You finish the assignment and turn it in.

Tuesday is English homework day because assignments are papers and take 3 days to complete due to requiring 3 different steps: research, outlining, and writing. You do the whole researching process on Tuesday and do a basic outline. You will fill out the outline a little more on Wednesday and will then write the whole paper on Thursday so that you can turn it in then, before the Friday deadline.

On Wednesday, after you’re satisfied with your English outline, you will set that aside because Wednesdays are Math days. You will do the Math homework and/or study for 2-3 hours until your brain feels like soup. Then you will stop, do something relaxing for 30min, and then decide if you need to do more studying. If you do, repeat the study + self-care process. Go to sleep at a reasonable hour (before 2am if possible)

Do the same thing for your other 2 classes, assigning each a day and a specific task or set of tasks to complete on each day. Don’t give yourself more than 3 tasks per class/study session, because that’s how you get overwhelmed and into an anxiety spiral.

Apply self-care (breaks, snacks, drinks, music) liberally while doing assignments.

Other tips: figure out how you study.

If you study best in a group, grab some folks from your class and form a study group. If you are in STEM especially, it is expected that you will form study groups. This is how studying happens in STEM, medical, and law fields. It is nigh impossible to do all that labor on your own. Yes, I am serious. Make a study group, even if that’s you and 1 other person.

If you can find a study guide, take it to study group or block out an hour or two and do the whole thing. If you don’t have a study guide, make one yourself out of your homework/assignments and test yourself with flashcards or writing out definitions and forcing yourself to explain the different parts of cycles you learned in class.

If you are in a humanities/liberal arts major, you need to figure out if you study best by reviewing your notes, by re-listening to the lectures, by explaining concepts to others, or by writing it all out as if it was an essay.

If you need to write an essay and are stuck with where to start, reach out for help from a tutor if your school has one, or just start by doing 15 minutes of brainstorming to figure out what you feel about the topic and what evidence/ideas would work to answer it. Pick apart the prompt to see what it is truly asking you to do, write out the components of the prompt separately on a separate page and start answering those question as if they were short answers.

Then when you’ve got that, you can start noting bits of evidence to add to support your points and BAM, just like that, you’ve got an outline. Write a thesis statement at the top that addresses the Who, What, Why and How You’re Going to Prove it of your essay and you’re ready to go.

Example thesis statement: “The world represented in Oh God, How do I Study by Matt Deniigiq includes references to time management, course planning, and big-picture thinking to emphasize the broader theme that this one shit semester is not going to destroy student’s lives. This is evident in the droll humor used throughout the piece and the fact that the author keeps halting in paragraphs to answer emails from frazzled students.”

**yes, your thesis can be 2 sentences long. It’s allowed, I promise.

Know that these 5 classes will not end your life.

Honestly, like, speaking as someone who does this for a living, at public schools anything higher than a C is grand. It’s not usually required for you to list your GPA on job apps later on (I’ve never been asked). No one actually cares about your GPA in social situations.

As long as my students have higher than Cs in their classes and they aren’t like, nursing students, I’m cool with their progress, so give yourself a break if you can.

Also know that getting a low grade in 1 class as a freshmen doesn’t actually fuck up your GPA as bad as you think it will. Like, there’s a lot of complicated shit around this that I could go into, but generally speaking, if you fail one class (and I mean FAIL-fail it. Fs and D-s. None of this ‘UwU I got a C so I failed’), then by the time you’re a junior or a senior, if you haven’t failed additional shit, that F/D- is barely going to shift your GPA.

Like, we’re talking .1 shifts around then. Maybe a .3 shift if you’re at the end of your sophomore year. That’s the diff between a 2.5 and a 2.4. Or a 3.3 and a 3.0. You can make that up almost entirely by taking another round of classes and getting As and Bs (again, the mechanics are complicated, so you’re just gonna have to take my word here).

So yeah, shoot for Cs or higher and know that these classes aren’t the end-all be-alls of your lives.

(For context, if I get a student with a 3.0 or higher, I’m fucking ELATED. I’m not even joking. Y’all will be fine.) 

--

Start with these tips and get back to me if you want something more specific. I do this all day, every day.

[real-work-of-art]

Can We Fall?

A little fall themed piece. 

A/N: Thank you x a million to @oh-honey-styles, @for-fucks-sake-h, @andwhenshesays, and @haute-romance-quotidienne​ for always reading and encouraging me. 💕💕

Word count: 1.9k

Many people consider fall a time that represents sadness. As the leaves fall off the trees or as the days get colder, it’s only a matter of time till winter storms in with her frosty bite. But for you, fall always feels like electricity hanging in the air. Like something new could be waiting at the end of every gust of wind.

You were walking out of your favorite coffee shop on this cool Saturday morning, heading to the small pumpkin patch just around the corner. Dressed in your favorite blue jeans, brown booties, and a thick knit mustard cardigan, you held on tight to your cup of this month's specialty drink.

The pumpkin patch was less of an actual patch and more like a little stand surrounded by pumpkins that also sold some delicious fall desserts.

This was your tradition— every year you picked out a few small pumpkins and gourds to decorate your apartment with.

Luckily it was still early enough in the morning that only a few other people were out picking up pumpkins. As you approach the stand, you notice a young couple pushing a stroller and a man dressed in a black hoodie and running shorts picking through the box of gourds. Waving to the cashier, you walk around the little stand to search for the perfect sized pumpkins to decorate your window sills with.

Looking down at the pumpkins scattered on the ground, you notice two giant pumpkins next to a pair of feet. As your eyes travel up you realize it’s the man in the black hoodie. Letting out a little snicker, you wonder if he carried both of those over at the same time. The image, making you let out another little giggle.

~~~~~

Hearing what he thinks is a laugh, Harry looks over his shoulder to see a woman wrapped in a yellow cardigan, smiling down at his feet. He follows her gaze to the pumpkins next to him. With furrowed brows and a small smirk, he looks back up, but no one is there. Confused, he turns his head to the other side trying to find where she went. He only sees the couple talking to the cashier as they pay for their pumpkins. He questions if he imagined her. Just as he is about to forget about the strange moment, he hears a quiet “oh shit” come from the back of the pumpkin stand.

He sets the gourds he is holding back into the bucket, taking a few steps towards the back. Popping his head around the corner he sees the woman. Her back is to him but she’s bent down picking up an empty coffee cup and wiping away at a pumpkin covered in coffee.

“Are you okay?” Harry takes another step towards the girl but she jumps at the sound of his voice, falling back onto her butt.

Harry tries to take another step but his foot catches on a pumpkin and he trips. Falling on his hands next to her, he lets out a grunt before turning his head over his shoulder to look at the woman next to him.

~~~~~

You’re staring back at him with wide eyes, trying to hold back a laugh. “That pumpkin is a menace,” you say with your thumb pointed over your shoulder.

Shifting over to his bum, he leans back on his hands with his legs stretched out in front of him. “He takes the trick in ‘trick or treat’ very seriously,” he says with a smirk that makes a dimple dig deep into his cheek.

You laugh at his joke, while taking in the mess around you.

“I’m Harry by the way,” he says as he moves to stand, sticking his hand out to help you up.

Sharing your name, you grab his hand and let him pull you up, not letting the strength of his grip and his pull go unnoticed.

Dusting off your jeans, you’re at least thankful none of the coffee spilled on your clothes. As you check the different places of your cardigan for possible coffee stains, Harry picks up your now empty cup and walks to the nearby trash can, careful not to trip on any more pumpkins.

“Sorry about your coffee,” he says as he makes his way back to you. “They sell a really good pumpkin coffee cake here, though.”

“Oh! I’ve never tried it. I always get the apple pie.”

“Me too! It’s my favorite.” Harry was smiling at you but after a few seconds, when neither of you spoke again, you found yourselves awkwardly looking around at the pumpkins scattered on the ground.

“Um. I was actually just about to get one. Would you want to join me? Maybe we can split that coffee cake too.” His voice was smooth but you could see the hopeful glimmer in his eyes and the way he was fidgeting with his fingers.

You really wanted to turn him down. He was a stranger, after all, and the whole situation felt a little awkward, but you were also planning to order a dessert. So, it would feel silly if you both just sat at opposite tables.

Your eyes scan around the little pumpkin stand, realizing you are the only two customers left. “Um, sure,” you finally say. Looking back up at his face, a flash of surprise runs across his features before a smile spreads across his lips and his teeth poke into his bottom lip. You look away, distracting yourself from letting your mind wander with thoughts of how pink and soft his lips look.

Harry steps around you, walking back into the stand and straight to the cashier. You follow behind him unsure how this whole thing is supposed to play out.

As Harry reaches the counter he quickly begins to order. “Two apple pie slices, a pumpkin coffee cake, and two hot apple ciders, please.” You’ve barely reached the counter as Harry is pulling out his wallet and handing over his credit card.

“I can pay for mine,” you try to interject while reaching for your own wallet.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says with a smile, quickly making eye contact with you before turning back to the cashier. “I can carry this over. Do you want to grab a table?”

Honestly, you’re confused. Confused why this stranger is being so nice to you. It’s not like he knocked the coffee out of your hand or pushed you to fall on top of those pumpkins. There’s no reason for him to be buying you treats and offering to eat them together.

Regardless, you nod shyly and walk towards the two little tables set up against the stand. You slide into the seat with your back towards the counter. If you got up right now and ran away he wouldn’t know which direction you ran in. Checking over your shoulder to see if Harry is looking at you, you notice him engaging in a full on conversation with the cashier as they put your order together.

Maybe this guy is just friendly with everyone? You turn back around, quickly getting lost in the possible reasons for how you got here, who this man is, and why he’s so kind.

Lost in thought, you barely register Harry approaching the table, carrying a tray filled with all of the treats he ordered.

“Alright, here we go! One apple pie for you,” he places the desserts on the table in front of you, and quickly runs back to the counter to return the tray. When he sits down at the table he’s looking at you with the biggest smile spread across his face. You can’t help but let the corner of your mouth pull up into a smirk in response to his happiness. There really is just something so magnetic about him.

Harry and you talk and share stories while you finish your food. He asks you tons of questions about yourself, listening to your answers with an endearing intensity. He fights you for the last bite of the coffee cake, ultimately letting you win. His smile leaves you breathless every time. He tells you about his career, apprehensive at first but relieved at your calm reaction.

You knew of Harry Styles, of course. Having been a fan of One Direction back when they were together. The band separated and your life moved on as well. You tried to follow along with their careers. Listening to the music they released whenever you got the chance, but you hadn’t seen a picture of Harry in years.

He really was just a normal guy. Strikingly beautiful, sure, but also kind and genuine. He makes you laugh and as you both gather up the pumpkins you had picked, he offers to walk you to your car that was parked down the street by the coffee shop.

He insists on carrying your things for you, and as you reach your car, after placing everything in your trunk, you find yourselves standing awkwardly in front of each other. You want to see Harry again, but don’t know how to make that happen or if he is even interested.

Clearing your throat you finally speak up. “Thanks for walking me to my car, and for dessert. It was really nice meeting you,” you say as you dig the toe of your boot into the sidewalk.

“I had a great time too.” He looks like he wants to say more but quickly averts his eyes back to the ground shuffling his feet backwards. A gust of wind whips between you two. Stuffing his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, he slowly brings his eyes back up to yours, holding your gaze. With eye contact so intense, your body feels like it’s being pulled towards his.

“I uh thought, um maybe…” he stumbles over his words before taking a deep breath, “Maybe we could do dinner and dessert next time?” You can’t resist the wide smile spreading across your face, so completely endeared by him.

“Yeah, I would really like that. Maybe I could give you my number,” you offer. Harry quickly pulls his phone from the front pocket of his sweater. Unlocking it and handing it over for you to save your number in it, he can’t seem to wipe the smile off his face.  You wonder if he’s having as much trouble as you are controlling the pounding of your heart against your chest.

Returning his phone back to him, you watch as he takes a moment to read over your contact in his phone. “I’ll text you,” he says accompanied by another one of his gorgeous smiles.

“I hope so,” you quip back as you step towards your car. Harry steps back as well, moving to turn and walk back up the street. He gives you one last look over his shoulder as you slide into the driver's seat. Watching him walk away for a couple more seconds, you turn on your car, place your phone in the cup holder and buckle your seatbelt. Just as you reach for the gear shift, you hear your phone vibrate. Seeing a message notification, you unlock your phone to view the message.

“Are you free tonight? - H”

Shaking your head, you let out a chuckle and quickly type out your response.

“Completely.”

Thank you so much for reading!

Falling For You (part 2)

Other works

Golden

The Night Before

Shut Up And Kiss Me

[calliopesstories]

A New Addition To His Collection - Chapter One

Relationships: Loki x Sigyn, Loki x Reader, Platonic!Sigyn x Platonic!Reader, Loki x Lorelei

Warnings: 18+, smut (I’ll try the best I can), historical inaccuracy, misogyny and belief of 18th century, mention of death and sex, arranged marriage, abusive relationship and father, mistreatment, humiliation, Loki being kind of an A-Hole for a good part of the story /!\ Not proof read and non-english speaker writter /!\

Summary: To have a father ambassador had been the best thing to ever happen to you. You always were lucky, whether it was for such things as the family you were born in or for more common thing like games, you had never lost a game in your life. But you knew your luck would run out one day, eventually, so you enjoyed it while it last. Luck was what brought you at the royal court and it was luck again that made you meet its most important figure. However you had serious doubt on the strength of your luck against the traps and deceptions of the court.

Author’s Note: None

You were so sick of travelling. A week or two was fine, but an entire month was enough! Especially in a carriage, not matter how comfortable it is. Yet you didn’t complain one bit to your parents, not a lot of people could travel like you do. You were lucky to be born within one of the wealthiest and most noble houses of Midgard, not everyone had your luck and you saw it from the palace of Valaskjalf to the one of Gardariki. Poverty was not a concept you were familiar with, maybe one day you will maybe you won’t but your mother had always told you to give just as much as you received so, whenever you had the chance, you went to orphanage or shelters to give them food, clothes and better living conditions.

 Leaving the golden palace of Asgard to roam the countryside was a nice change of view, although the Asgardian court was friendly, very casual and joyful, it was too artificial with its golden walls and geometrical gardens. You had no idea what the palace of Gardariki was like but your father had told you the palace was on top of a hill, surrounded by trees, very beautiful during winter.

 You head was resting on your mother’s shoulder when she woke you up. You felt sore after staying on the carriage for so long. You had arrived at Gardariki, the palace was visible from afar. Your father was right, it was breathtaking. All those trees made the castle as if it was growing from the earth just like the trees surrounding it. You had never saw something like it, not even on Jotunheim – though you had stayed a few days there, too dangerous for your father’s liking. The carriage entered within the walls of the castle main courtyard. You saw people outside looking at the carriage, surely the word must have spread that King Loki ambassador was coming back to court after years away. This had never been in your father’s plan; it was your mother that insisted on having you back home and your father had posed the condition of you going to court with him. Of course, it didn’t please your mother and she invited herself because seeing you once in a while had been too hard for her, there was no way she was letting you out of her sight once again!

 “Your Grace, my ladies. I’m Skurge, the king sent me to welcome you at the palace,” the man bowed in front of your family. “If you will.”

 “Actually,” said your mother. “My daughter and I have a very important meeting. Surely you must know about it.”

 “Yes, Your Grace. Lady Leah will escort you there.”

 The lady in question was a young girl, about twelve years-old with raven hair, light blue eyes and a snow-white skin. She looked like those paintings representing old Greek gods. Your father left with Skurge while Lady Leah asked you to follow her. Your mother had been very secretive to who was this person you absolutely had to meet. You feared it might be a suitor. Since you came back, she had this crazy idea to marry you. She thought your travels with your father would find you a man of high birth to marry and was more than disappointed when she learnt you had left each court, you’d be in without at least one proposal. Truth was, there had been many of those, you were the one to refuse them. You were not ready; you wanted to enjoy life and would only marry if the man would let you have your freedom. Contrary to what your mother thought, you had not in plan to end up an old maid, you wanted a family but not now.

 Lady Leah escorted you to the fourth floor of the palace. Before pushing the white and gold double door she warned you not to say a word before you are been addressed to. The room you first entered was astonishing, the furniture, the walls, the decorations were all made of gold features and delicate paintings. You could see the greatest moment of Midgard history on the ceiling or its reflection on the marble floor. You had never seen such luxury in one place. Not even the castle you had lived in was as beautiful.

 You walked in a much bigger room. In the centre of the room was a blond woman surrounded by two others, about your mother’s age, were discussing. Leah coughed to get the woman attention. As soon as she saw your mother a smile lighted her face. You realized you were in front of the queen. You kneeled in front of her.

 “Y/M/N! I’m so happy to see you,” the queen hugged your mother. She was nothing like you would expect a queen to be. “Is that your daughter? Oh, please stand up.”

 “Yes, Sigyn. This is Y/N, my only child and greatest pride and joy. Sweetheart, this is Queen Sigyn, her mother and I were really good friend. My condolences for her death.”

 You saw sadness crossed her eyes then vanished as soon as it came. The queen offered you a seat with her lady-in-waiting. You were surprised the older women were her lady-in-waiting and so was Leah, yours were of your age – and on their way to the palace.

 “Tell me, Y/N, your mother had told in a letter that you had travelled a lot, have you served as lady-in-waiting for another queen?” you shook your head. You had only enjoyed the life at court. “Well, I’m sure you’ll do fantastically with me.”

 “I’m sorry?” your mother proceeded to tell you she had managed to find you a place at court as the queen’s lady-in-waiting. “I have never done that before but I assure Your Majesty, I will do my best.”

 The queen cupped your hands in hers, she gave you a warm smile. She believed in your words and told you to be by her side tomorrow at 7 a.m. for her awakening. You were excited. You very first day at court and you were already meeting the queen. A beautiful woman with a kind heart you could tell. Yet the more she looked at you the more worried she become. You had no experience, it was a fact she knew but you had lady-in-waiting of your own, you knew exactly what they had to do for you and it was a great opportunity you had no intention of screwing up.

 An hour later your mother and yourself found your way to your quarter. A spacious place that consisted of two bedrooms, a dining room, a living room, chambers for the servants and a boudoir hidden behind your bedroom – you were sure another one existed behind your parent’s bedroom. Except for your bedroom and boudoir that were blue and gold, the rest of the rooms were green, the king’s favourite colour.

 Until your ladies arrived the queens had gifted you her very own ladies to prepare you for the day. Although you tried not to listen to their conversation you couldn’t unhear what you caught. Mainly the women spoke about how unhappy the queen was, it seemed to be a recurring theme of conversation as you heard it again the corridors leading to the queen’s apartments. The queen was already dressed when you arrive. Panic started to run through your vein, you had checked the hour twice before going and she shouldn’t have been up already. The queen reassured you right away. She had been up for an hour already and couldn’t stay in bed.

 “Should I come sooner Your Majesty?” you asked her, worried that it would happen again and after some times she would grow tired of you being late.

 “Oh no, my dear. Don’t worry. You see,” she lowered her voice and nearly whispered in your ears. “Sometimes I like being alone. Enjoying the quietness of my apartments without all the fuss of court. Walking from room to room in my nightgown. Truth is Y/N, I don’t have many acquaintances at court.”

 You were touched by the queen’s statement. She felt comfortable enough already to tell something so personal. After everything you had heard coming here, you could understand why the queen liked being left alone time to time. Her whole life since her marriage had been nothing but showing herself, faking smiles, pretending enjoying parties and producing an heir to the crown. From what you had heard she was unable to do all those things and no one had the sympathy to try to understand her pain. She was literally locking herself in her apartments waiting for sweet death to take her. And you barely knew the woman! If you were able to understand all those things surely people who knew her longer must have seen it.

 “Well,” you broke the silence. “I’m sure we will become very good friends.”

 There it was: her smile. Genuine and hopeful. Similar to yours but with a dash of desperation. Her grip on your arm became stronger, as if you were an illusion, she was desperately trying to make real. You put your hand and hers and patted gently. I’m here now, you tried to tell her. Being her lady-in-waiting was a chance for you but for the queen it was an opportunity at happiness. You just had no idea how much she needed you. Finally someone close to her age, someone to talk to, to share secrets and fears. Someone, she hoped, wouldn’t judge her.

 “I’d like to have a walk in the garden. Join me.”

 “I thought there was no garden here.”

 “Oh, there’s one. Not far from here, in the forest. There’s also a labyrinth and a cave that goes under the castle with an underground river we can sail on. But don’t worry the path to go there is secured by guards. Oh I can’t wait to show you everything the castle has to offer.”

 “And I can’t wait to see them.”

 You were like two little and impatient girls. You hadn’t even warned your parents you would go with the queen in the garden and the queen warned no one. Her lady-in-waiting didn’t even saw the two of you escaping the apartments. For Sigyn it was the most fun she had since she had been made queen. Your youth made her wanted to do thing the others ladies wouldn’t even consider. Not even Leah, who was young, but too young.

 Surprisingly you managed to get out of the castle without no one stopping you. The guards did bow at the queen presence but none said a thing. They must have assumed the queen was on a daily walk. The garden was worth all the walk. Wild and tamed at the same times. The trees offered a natural roof to the flowers beneath and although there was a well-maintained paved path it seemed like nothing was really taken care off. Sigyn showed you the entrance of the labyrinth. She had never tried to enter it and blamed her poor orientation skills and her fear of being stuck in the labyrinth. There was a labyrinth in the garden of the Asgardian palace but the bushes were – at their highest – right at your waist line, you had always been able to see where you were going. This was not the case here. The grassy walls were taller than your father – a man known to be tall – and even if there were decorated with flowers the walls were frightening you.

 The queen and you sat on the bench, enjoying the sound of nature and the view the garden offered you. You spoke a little to know each other best. The queen confessed to you she hadn’t spoke that much to someone since her last favourite. She spoke highly of the unknown woman until she mentioned some kind of betrayal she had done to the queen. The woman had been her closest friend, her confident but she had betrayed the queen like no other woman before. The tale was so heart-breaking that neither of you heard the hurried footsteps coming your way.

 “Sigyn!” thundered a displeased voice. The Queen turned her head to the man whom the voice belonged to and she wasn’t very pleased either. “May I know what you’re doing here? I thought I’d been clear when I told you I want to know where you are at any given time!”

 The queen was blocking your view of the man. Because you thought it was safer to take the blame you stood up in order to explain the situation. You saw your father first, which confused you because you never imagined your father chastising the queen, plus the voice wasn’t his. Then you saw the man beside him. A tall man, with long raven hair, mesmerizing green eyes matching his black and green outfit. That was the moment you realised you were in front of the king. You quickly kneeled, bowing your head and praying to any gods willing to hear to have his mercy. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! you thought. It was one thing to confront your father, it was another to confront the king.

 “Who’s that?” you hear him say. Your father promptly answered his question. You couldn’t see the king’s face but you were sure it didn’t change much. “So, you’re my wife new lady-in-waiting. I guess I can excuse your ignorance.”

 With his fingers he made you rose your head enough to face him. You felt like a prey under the gaze of a predator. He offered you a hand to help you get on your feet. You shot a quick look at both your father and the queen. Your heart stopped the race it was in the very second the queen smiled at you; you weren’t out of the woods yet but you had done nothing wrong that could anger the king even more.

  “You see Lady Y/N, my wife has the tendency to wander in the castle and to never be where I need her to be. As your lady-in-waiting you have to tell me where she is. I don’t want my queen to get attack, or worst. Do you understand?” The king didn’t let go of your hand and you were too scared to ask for its release, so you nodded. It was perfectly unfair to the queen but you had no choice. “It’s not against you Sigyn, you know that.”

 He hadn’t break eye contact with you but he had let go of your hand. The queen promptly took your arm and pushed you behind her, assuring the king she understood his motivations.

 “His Majesty can rest assure; I am more than grateful for his concerned about my safety. To avoid any misunderstanding I will, for now on, go on walks with Lady Y/N. I will leave you a note on my desk to inform you of where I intend to go.”

 “It’s all I ask for,” the king approached the queen to kiss her forehead. Your parents do that a lot and every times you could feel their love expressed through this simple gesture. But there was no love here. “Lady Y/N, I hope you will stay by my wife’s side for a long time. You managed to do in a day what no one had done in years.”

 “I will stay with her as long as I can Your Majesty.”

 Your father encouraged you to smile to the king but you couldn’t bring yourself to that. You were uncomfortable with his persistent look on you and by the way the queen was now behaving you had no problem imagining what it meant. Then the king and his flock of ministers left the garden. Unknowingly to both you and the queen, Loki gave you a last look, a grin on his face.

 He liked what you father had told him, he liked what he saw and he was sure he would like you. Rare was the new blood at his court. You were young, fresh and unmarried, exactly what he was craving for. You wouldn’t be the first – or the last – of his wife companions to fall into his arms. But something told him you put a good fight before letting yourself go in his sheets. The excitement of a new conquest made his blood boiled a little more than it already was. The view you had gave him was a gift itself. He had to bless the man – or woman – that had gifted the dresses with such cleavage and made the corset pushed the breasts upward.

 His wife had taken older women has companions to avoid any temptation for him but he was already tempted by you. And by the way his wife had been protective of you so quickly he knew she was fully aware of that and wouldn’t give up that easily this time. She had lost all the battles against him, yet you were a friend she intended to keep. Loki was right, in a day you had made her feel better than she had ever been since the treason of her last lady-in-waiting. She could trust you not to fall for his lies and fake promises. Sigyn would do anything to keep you away from her husband and she intended to do so the very the next. She had been taught how to be the most desirable for the king, she would teach you the exact opposite. She wouldn’t let you be new addition to his collection of women.

 “Y/N?” she finally said. “Do you pray often?”

 “As much as I can Your Majesty,” you weren’t a fanatic but you feared God’s judgment and avoid any sins. Your education wasn’t only about good manners and expansion of the mind, it was also religious. “Why do you ask?”

 “You can call me Sigyn when it’s only the two of us you know,” she took a minute to think and turned to you. “For nothing, just out of curiosity.”

 Because none of her companions had been very religious before. It was nasty of her to do that but if keeping you meant manipulating your faith, it was a risk she was willing to take. For your sake.

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@learisa​