#who pointed out he has a similar expression in 3x03

[northcountry39]

QOTS Parallels: Teresa and Pote in 2x10, 3x01, and 4x02

[whateverthedragonswant]

Sweet & Salty/ Honey & Vinegar

So I'm having more thoughts about this season of Big Sky and the whole Beau and slow burn factor.

I know we have that whole sweet vs salty thing that occurred with Beau and Cassie in 3x03. And in that very same episode we have Beau saying to Jenny: "Honey and vinegar."

Now, here is where that parallel gets interesting:

1) Beau doesn't say the salty vs sweet to Cassie; it's Denise that says it ("sweet and salty *ahem* never fails") and Cassie follows up by asking if Denise just called her salty, which Beau never answers. The surface context is the pumpkin enchiladas that Beau enjoyed. The actual context is never made clear. Why would Cassie think Denise is calling her salty when the conversation had nothing to do with her in any way, shape or form?

2) "Honey and vinegar" is an interesting expression for Beau to use (in this parallel context I mean) because while honey is sweet, vinegar is bitter (not salty). In the surface context of where he's saying this line, it makes complete sense. They're about to go undercover and "trap" the suspect so he can be arrested and charged. But it's what's underneath the surface that I find interesting: Jenny right now has a lot of anger (and honestly, after Gigi's bs in this episode and then Tonya's involvement that has yet to be discovered, who could blame her?) and she could be construed as the "vinegar" in this situation. So that leaves Beau being the "sweet" and "honey" in both scenarios where this comparison is brought up.

3) The context of where Beau says this line to Jenny is work. Work-related. Nothing to do with food or anything to do with something between them. And he is the one to say this line, not anyone else. And Jenny is not looking for him to confirm anything because it's about their involvement in the case and that's all both of them see it as.

So my question to Elwood and the writers is: why the sweet and salty line? Why the follow up with the salty part by Cassie? And asked to Beau instead of Denise herself? Especially when Beau was saying "another homemade home-run" and "It sounds weird but it totally worked." AND Beau tells Denise "You're a peach" before he leaves, which confirms Denise is also "sweet." Is it just an expression? Sure. But why stick that line in there right after that conversation?

Something is afoot here and I'm trying to figure it out. Which is most likely why my brain is turning over and over on this. I also want to see if Carla is sweet, salty, or vinegar herself. Especially since we see after this latest episode that Carla can be a bit salty in her interaction with Beau and I'm thinking that Beau didn't want Jenny to meet her not only because he knew Carla wouldn't like her but because they might be more similar than we know at this point.

We shall see...

[theatresteph]

Is it healthy? Bellarke vs Clexa, as shown in 3x05 and 3x03

I was texting a friend about The 100 and Bellarke and Clexa, and basically I spiralled and wrote this whole thing by the end, so buckle up if you’re down 😂. And I’m going to make it clear now that, as much as I love discourse from different perspectives, I don’t tolerate rude comments, so be polite if you choose to respond. And it should go without saying that this post is Bellarke-biased, though my points are valid and true to canon.

This is a compare and contrast of two crucial scenes for Clexa and Bellarke, demonstrating how Clarke’s relationship with Bellamy is far more healthy than it ever was with Lexa. Through these essential scenes of character and relationship development, we can see the greatest example of the key difference between the relationships and why one is healthier for Clarke than the other.

(Pardon my essay-style tone here, I’ve been writing academic papers for over a week now and like the pattern)

And in case anyone chooses to bash this without even reading it, I’d like to make it clear that Clexa as a relationship did have it’s good moments and I talk about those as well.

When I compare what makes Bellarke healthy to what I think makes Clexa unhealthy (aside from A LOT of obvious things), I keep remembering 3x05.

Like Clexa in 3x03, they're at odds because of politics and Mt Weather and how this is the first time they've really spoken to each other since it happened. The most important similarity is that, in both conversations, a lot of blame is being placed on Clarke for Mt Weather, even though Lexa knows that it was her choice of accepting the deal that forced Clarke into that position, and Bellamy knows that every awful decision up-to and including pulling the lever (with his help) that he's throwing at her are choices that she didn't make lightly and that she made because she was pushed into the situation when all she wanted was a peaceful solution the entire time.

They both KNOW that she isn't entirely responsible for everything that happened, and they both know that she already blames herself, and adding to her pain by saying this to her isn't what she needs to forgive herself in the long run. But the difference? Lexa says it coldly and with extremely little emotion because, as she says, she needs something from Clarke, and reinforcing her guilt makes her want to continue being distant from her people and only be vulnerable with Lexa. And to be fair, I'm sure that some of this encouragement of her guilt was because she genuinely believed that it was in Clarke's interest to be harder and more Head like her, and it’s Lexa’s nature to be hard and extremely limited in expressing emotion, even to those she trusts, cares for and loves most, but it can't be forgotten that Lexa was actively hoping that Clarke would choose to stay with her in the tower, alone with her and distant from her people, helping in the war against Azgeda as a pawn. A powerful one, but still a minor player to serve Lexa.

But Bellamy... the difference is PROFOUND!

Everything he said to her, we know he didn't mean most of it, didn't want to add to her pain, but it was the explosion of everything he'd felt since they pulled the lever. He never got the chance to be angry with her about TonDC even though we know he understood why she did it, never got to tell her any of his feelings about the trauma of the mountain, and most of all, never got to work through pulling the lever because he couldn't do that without her, couldn't break down over it because he had to stay in Arkadia and take care of their people, like she asked him to, like he knew he had to because that's who he is. He couldn't do any of those things he needed to do desperately because she left him.

I'm positive he even hates himself inside for letting her go, for loving her so much that he, once again, disregarded his own wants and needs so that he could give her what she insisted she needed.

Loving her is why he let her go, why he didn't do everything he could to make her stay, or go with her, and when you add that anger and pain onto LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE, there came an inevitable point where he couldn't keep hiding it from her, and, like Octavia said later in the season, he was hurting and he lashed out, not just when he joined Pike after the Mt Weather bombing, but in this pivotal moment.

Honestly, the only way he held back in this scene was from outright saying "You were my partner, my best friend, the person I needed the most. I loved you, and YOU LEFT ME! I know why you did, and I couldn't bare to deny you what you needed, but what about what I needed, Clarke? I needed you, loved you, and you were gone. And for some fucked up reason, I STILL love you, but you don't get to come to me today and tell me what I need to do, or that YOU need ME, when you left me TWICE".

That’s where the original conversation ends about Bellarke. Using only these 2 scenes as a basis, it’s extremely obvious which relationship is healthier, but I’m not one of those people who watches scenes in isolation, and there are FAR more examples that exemplify why Clarke’s relationship with Bellamy has always been far more balanced than her relationship with Lexa, this is just the most crucial to me.

I can’t say that there is any period of Clexa’s relationship that I found healthy, because either there was a clear imbalance of power (most heavy in season 3 because Clarke is no longer the leader of Skaikru and staying in Polis to continue to run from her guilt and grief) or there’s a sense of manipulation or isolation in their interactions (e.g. TonDC). This is my opinion and I stand by it. 

Every time I’ve rewatched the show in it’s entirety and their scenes in isolation, I can’t help but be bothered by the fact that so much (if not all) of their romantic moments occur when Clarke is feeling alone and distanced from her friends and family. I can’t emphasise enough how unhealthy and detrimental that is for Clarke! Loving someone just because no one else is able or willing to support you or relate to you is not indicative of a strong relationship.

I hated the master-student dynamic where Lexa was imparting her “wisdom” onto Clarke - the “love is weakness” bs being the most prevalent - because it elevates Lexa’s position while devaluing Clarke’s, as if she isn’t the most commanding person in all of Skaikru! This did change in the moment that is, in my opinion, the best of all Clexa scenes; the confrontation scene in 2x14. This is my favourite of their scenes together because it’s about Clarke reasserting herself and defending Octavia, her friend who, even though she just judged her for TonDC, she cares about and won’t let Lexa kill just because she is a risk to Lexa’s reputation. I love this scene because Clarke refuses to let Lexa dominate or coerce her to accept her position and calls her out on her facade of coldness. What makes this scene great is that it’s one of the few moments where I truly feel like Clarke is an equal in their relationship, and the fact that it doesn’t come off that way in most of their moments is telling of how lacking it is in balance.

I also have to point out that, in all of these moments except for when Clarke sends Bellamy into Mt Weather and chooses to stay in Polis (moments that feel more about Bellarke), Bellamy is absent, and not just that he’s not in the room, he’s actually well over a mile away, in a completely different place and position from her. One has to wonder whether this relationship would have been able to develop at all if Bellamy had been around to balance Clarke like he always does. I doubt it. Bellamy is canonically her best friend by the time she and Lexa meet, and yet this relationship happens during the times when he’s absent from her life, both times having pushed him away because either “love is weakness” or because she can’t face him while she’s in pain after Mt Weather. I said it before and I’ll say it again; a relationship that develops when you’re essentially isolated from your friends and family is unlikely to be a lasting one. I feel like I’ve made my point.

Now, I do want to state that the fact that I believe the relationship was mostly unhealthy does not mean that it had no value. On the contrary, it had a lot of value! Clarke learned a lot about herself and the kind of leader she wants to be, and Lexa was able to find love again after trauma convinced her that her feelings were dangerous and limiting. When they said goodbye and had sex in 3x07, they knew they were probably saying goodbye for good, and they accepted it and chose to make the most of it. I do love this moment too because it’s actually very healthy; they know they can’t stay together even though they both want to, and they know it’s because, even if they were living in peace, they would never be able to choose each other over their people as long as they’re leaders. What came after was poorly done, but this moment was touching and should be celebrated. They got to say goodbye, and I hate that Clarke immediately had to lose her and feel that significant trauma, but I’m glad that they also got to say goodbye one final time in the City of Light. This closure is comparatively much better than how her relationship with Finn ended, and I’m glad she got to have that, though I’m looking forward to her finally finding lasting love and happiness, and I do believe she will find that with Bellamy.

On that note, I believe I’m done. I can’t wait for season 7 to air in under a month! Bellarke endgame 2020!!!!

[freedom-of-writing]

You’re all I want, all I need

So this is basically my take on what happens when Clarke holds the knife to Lexa's throat in ep. 3x03 and how the story develops from there. I'm sorry but there's no better way to summarize it. You'll just have to read it and find out.

Trigger warning: major character death. Yes, it's Lexa. No, my name is not JRat, so... "Don't be afraid, death is not the end."

 Chapter 1: I'm ready now

Clarke is sitting on the edge of her new bed staring at the knife in her hands. Her mind can't help but go back to that one other time when she'd found herself in a similar situation. That time Raven had offered her a knife to kill the Commander, but she chose to kill Finn instead, to preserve their alliance. An alliance Lexa has broken, leaving her alone to save her people and to bear the deaths of yet other hundreds of innocent human beings. She’s hated Lexa for that and for three months she's tried to blame her for turning her into Wanheda. But, deep down, she does understand why she did what she did and she knows it couldn't have been easy for her to make that choice. She’d seen it in her eyes as they were shining with unshed tears, and she’d heard it in the slight crack of her voice as she told her "May we meet again", before turning and leaving.

For months that little voice inside her head has kept reminding her of the Commander's betrayal and how she was going to kill her if they ever crossed paths again. But right now, looking at that knife, it's like all the hatred she’s held for Lexa is gone, and she's not so sure that she wants her dead anymore.

Clarke is so lost in her trail of thoughts that she almost misses the crack of the door of her room opening and the sound of footsteps coming in. It takes her a moment to realize it's Lexa before she all but jumps on her feet, with her back turned towards the other girl and the knife held firmly in her hand in front of her, where Lexa won't see it.

"You wanted to see me? I'm here." As Lexa utters these words, Clarke does everything in her power not to cry in front of her. She will not be weak in front of Lexa again, she can't-

"Clarke?" Lexa speaks again.

That’s it. It’s now or never. Clarke gathers all her courage and throws herself at Lexa, holding the knife to her throat. Clarke is ready for any reaction coming from Lexa, but the Commander doesn't move. She does nothing but look at Clarke like she’d known this moment would come at some point. Like she's giving Clarke permission to take her life if that'll make her feel better. Clarke starts shaking, because this is not the reaction she was expecting from Lexa. Why isn't she fighting? Why is she looking at Clarke with so much sorrow? Why do her eyes hold so many emotions when she's supposed to be the heartless Commander that's haunted her thoughts and dreams ever since the destruction of Mount Weather?

"I'm sorry". Lexa whispers softly, with her voice almost cracking. And that's all it takes for Clarke to let go of that little strength she had left. She bursts into tears, shaking her head vehemently as if to try and drive those words out of her mind.

Lexa looks at her for a brief second, trying not to cry herself. It’s her fault Clarke is so broken right now, and she’ll never forgive herself for causing the girl she loves so much pain. "I never meant to turn you into this." She finally manages to whisper those words so heavy with regret.

Clarke can tell she really means them, so she let’s go of all the walls she’s built around her heart in these past few months. As all the emotions come flooding in, Clarke moves forward and sinks in Lexa’s arms, sobbing hard into her chest. Tear after tear, she let’s go of all the hatred she felt for Lexa. She knows the Commander had to put her people first, she knows she’s not heartless, quite the opposite in fact. Lexa cares about other people so much. Plus, Clarke is the one who’s pulled that lever to let the radiation into Mount Weather, so Lexa’s not the only one to be blamed for everything that’s happened. But what really gets to Clarke in that moment is that Lexa is actually the only one who's ever asked for her forgiveness and not for her apology. Clarke’s saved her people over and over again, and yet they keep asking for her to do more. They say she doesn’t try hard enough to protect them, and if that weren’t enough, they keep reminding her of all the blood she has on her hands. Even her own mother chose to accuse of the deaths of the people of TonDC, instead of trying and understand she was only trying to save her people. But Lexa’s not like them. No. She’s like Clarke. She knows what it takes to be a leader. All the hard choices Clarke had to make she’s made them too. And now she’s here willing to take all that guilt on her own shoulders, so that Clarke doesn’t have to bear it anymore.

As she’s standing there in her room in Polis, with Lexa's arms wrapped around her shaking and sobbing form, Clarke knows that maybe, after all this time spent barely surviving, she can finally start living again. That’s what she wants, to live and not just survive. With that newfound hope, Clarke takes a deep breath and raises her head to look straight into Lexa’s beautiful green eyes. Clarke knows how much emotion they can carry, she’d seen it before, but what she sees right now takes her completely off guard. Lexa has lowered her walls down completely, and Clarke even catches a glimpse of a tear running down her cheek. Then, in the moment their eyes lock, something other than sorrow shows up in those green orbs: a sparkle of hope. It's small but Clarke can see it, and she's more than willing to fuel it, so she takes a deep breath to steady her voice and without unlocking her eyes from the Commander's, she speaks for the first time.

"I need you too, Lexa.” She takes her time to say the next words, so she can study Lexa’s reaction.

“I need you. But it terrifies me. I’m afraid because… if you leave me again, it will kill me.” Regret comes flooding Lexa’s eyes all over again, but Clarke doesn’t let that vision stop her from finishing.

“For three months I tried to hate you, I wanted to hate you, and I hated that I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it was your fault, that it was your choice that forced me to kill everyone in the Mountain, I… I did understand why you did it. And I knew you were right. I would've saved my people too if I had the chance. Because that's what it means to be a leader. You taught me that. Leaders must put their head before their hearts. It’s our job to save everyone, because they're our people and we owe them to. Even though everyone doesn't include the one person we truly wish we could save. I understand that now. But I still can't go through all that again. So… if my people agree to join your coalition, you can never turn your back on us again. On me.” Clarke pauses again to give Lexa time for those words to sink in. Then, with a brief smile, she takes Lexa’s hand into hers and she concludes.

“I'm ready for you now, Lexa. If you promise not to betray me again."

Lexa is now crying profusely, not even bothering to try and hold back her emotions. A ghost of a smile makes its way on her lips, but it's only a second before her expression changes to a dead serious one. She looks down at their joined hands, then straight into Clarke’s eyes.

"I won't."

Lexa let’s go of Clarke’s hand. Then, as if trying to prove her that she really means it, she sinks to her knees and, never breaking eye contact, she continues: "I swear fealty to you, Klark kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people."

The Commander bows to no one, Clarke knows that. At least, no one but her. She’s at a loss of words, and she can only hold her hand out for the other woman to take. With a gentleness only reserved for Clarke, Lexa takes her hand and rises back up. Blue orbs lock on green ones and Clarke knows she can really trust her now. But most of all, she knows she can finally live again, so she takes a few steps forward to be standing only inches away from the Commander. No, not the Commander. Lexa. The person standing in front of her right now is just Lexa, not the leader of 12 clans. She takes a deep breath before offering her the softest of smiles. Only when she sees Lexa's shoulders relax as she releases a sigh of relief, Clarke makes the final move to close the gap between the two of them. Her lips meet Lexa's, but it takes the other woman a few seconds before she responds to the kiss. Clarke doesn't rush her. She stays still, because she doesn't want to overwhelm Lexa, who has yet to realize what’s really happening. When she finally feels the slight pressure of Lexa's lips on hers, she starts moving her own ones slowly and tentatively. They kiss gently for a few seconds, until they need to part for air. Neither of them moves too far away, though, not to break contact completely. They press their foreheads together and their eyes stay closed a few more moments. When they make eye contact again, Clarke is surprised to find they are both crying. But it’s happy tears this time, because they're not alone in this cruel world anymore. They have each other now. Clarke moves her head back a little, and she notices Lexa's offering her the most stunning smile she's ever seen. God, she’s so beautiful when she smiles. Clarke can't help but smile back with the largest and brightest smile she can manage.

It's hard to tell how long they stay there smiling at each other, but a sudden knock on the door breaks them out of their reverie. Both Clarke and Lexa respond to it with a groan and an amused shake of their heads.

"Yes?" Clarke gives whoever it is at the door the permission to enter, not even bothering to put some distance between her and Lexa.

"Heda. Wanheda.” Titus, Of course, he had to be the one disturbing them.

“I'm sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to let you know that Abby and Marcus of the Sky People have arrived, and they are ready to meet you when you're done." The bald man eyes them suspiciously for a moment before Lexa dismisses him.

"Thank you, Titus. You may go now. We'll meet them in a moment."

With a small nod for each woman, Titus turns and leaves. As soon as they are alone again, Lexa looks back at Clarke and talks to her softly.

"Your mother's here. I'll give you some time alone to catch up before we talk about Skaikru becoming the 13th clan." And with that she moves for the door, only to be stopped on her tracks by Clarke's voice.

"Wait! I have a better idea. We can catch up and discuss politics at the same time. Let me talk to them about joining your coalition. Hopefully they'll listen to me."

"Alright. Let me know their decision then." Lexa agrees with a slight nod of her head before turning back towards the door and making her way out of the room.

Clarke keeps staring at the door until she can no longer catch sight of the other woman. With a deep sigh, she leaves her room as well to go meet with her mother and Kane. She has absolutely no idea how she’s going to convince them Lexa is trustable. It's not like she can tell them the Commander of the Grounders is not going to betray them again because they’re in love with each other. Wait! Woah, love?! Where does that even come from? I mean, of course she is aware of how much she cares about Lexa, but… love? She's so busy worrying her mind with these thoughts she almost misses the door to the room where her mom and Kane were waiting for her.

She takes a deep breath, gathering all her courage, and nods at the guards standing outside the door to let her in. Chapter 2: The 13th clan

[unproduciblesmackdown]

thinking about ways that rian and winston are similar / comparable below the surface even though there’s the Emergent difference where apparently right off everyone’s fine with rian, vs. how with winston it’s like “everyone hates him at first* and then it takes his coworkers at least a year to get over the fact he seems weird and/or slightly grating/annoying/offputting/Whatever and start giving him normal, pretty-disdain-free treatment” (*rian seems to Not hate him at first, as even with the “capitalist douche” comment (in the course of arguing to Not Fire him) she hardly seems to find winston insufferable or whatever)

anyways so first of all it’s fun how rian turned down working at axe cap previously and is asking in the middle of her interview why she should change her mind. while winston’s axe cap interview involved him Flipping The Script all “i should interview You” and asking What’s In It For Moi. if i’m going to really stretch things here, i can also make a comparison between winston saying “let me put this in your language,” which would indirectly acknowledge he speaks a different language, and rian.........god.............saying the stuff about. swick. and well winston also saying yas queen which means he is not straight but also is Probably a point of Meta comparison: that both winston and rian are 20-Somethings and the show is going to make sure we know it via their dialogue in their respective axe cap interviews. and then soph pointed out how the [aspect that had changed since their presumed First Interviews (rian’s unseen one where she turned down the job and 3x03 for winston where he was rejected)] was Taylor Mason.....them trying to start their own fund and recruiting winston to facilitate that, and them starting an impact fund and recruiting rian to facilitate that, and rian presumably rejected an offer from Just Wendy prior to this but accepted when taylor was involved, and winston was fine to meet up with just taylor and code in a basement for just them and then sign on to the new fund headed by just them

also besides the “that’s what i always say” Point Of Similarity, there’s the fact that winston attends math meetup (regularly i guess, though we wouldn’t know seeing as it was just sort of implied and not mentioned again) b/c it’s stimulating(tm) and in 5x01 we have tuk talking about how mase cap quants at least Theoretically want to talk about math over breakfast, which might not mean winston specifically, but he’s the only named tmc quant and the Main one and also responds, so.......tl;dr winston seems to find it fun to talk about math at any point, and here’s rian just bringing up Math as a casual conversational topic during this after (market) hours social event, and doesn’t seem to be finding winston a whole cringe loser for trying to connect on that point

meanwhile also it’s not exactly the peak Personable(tm) move for mafee to make a casual remark to winston and then rian cuts in to say that his math sucks (which, handshake emoji maybe with winston going “no way you understand it” in 5x03, which seems like it was more friendly ribbing than anything, especially as a) winston was sure not going “hmm well he has a point” at the “some of Them Can’t [do the math], mafee” remark in 5x01 and b) in 5x02 when mafee was telling dollar bill that he’d needed the Math/Algorithm stuff broken down for him, who did that, b/c 5x02 seems to establish (and 5x05 seems to confirm (how many layers of parentheticals can i get on)) that mafee and winston Talk Casually) which is a little pedantic, as winston can be (e.g. “it’s pronounced ‘owned’”) and like, it’d be easy for mafee to just give a Look like how everyone’s been reacting to winston with Looks throughout s4 (and still does, just not the tmc people so much) but he doesn’t really seem that bothered and the focus shifts to winston going oh Word, math........

also like i don’t know that mafee talking about Bad Luck here wasn’t just a figurative expression more along the lines of like, this is how i’m pointing out you don’t have a drink for whatever actual reason, although rian’s tangent treats it literally as being definitely about the concept of luck, and winston sure can take things slightly literally / otherwise kind of misinterpret the intent behind a metaphor or nonliteral remark, which is handshake emoji for the tendency of his Own metaphors / references (which he doesn’t seem to use as much as is average on this series) to be critiqued or dismissed or whatever, and how people seem to react to him as being clueless / less competent for this perceived literalness, like oh he’s a human computer but doesn’t have Real ~intelligence~ which like, might also be a theme in this ep lol where oh we need people with hard skills And soft skills and what even ever

and then on another note, in the scene with rian and winston and taylor and wendy, this is Rian’s First Day and she’s in the process of setting up her desk, and she jumps into a conversation between a longtime employee and the ceo (i think? are they still a ceo if it’s a subsidiary. well you know what i mean) and whatever wendy is, the two people who hired her, and argues for the continued employment of this rando deskmate. and also calls him a douche in the process. and dare i say that this move could be seen as a bit................cocky????

natch i think that rian’s more dialed-back demeanor and dry delivery is easier for ppl to roll with than winston, who has some more dramatic flair and a lil excitable in the moment, but they Both have this approach of being fairly humorous (intended to be, by them) like e.g. there winston goes with a spin on wendy’s comments.......and really Ultimately winston is pretty chill as well, after all of that he just goes right back to work at his computer like it’s just another thursday, and after the treatment he got in 4x11, apparently by 4x12 he was like “yeah w/e i’m good” lmao like. maybe he Shouldn’t roll with these things quite so much but this is billions and either way all winston’s personality and dramatiqueness doesn’t really mean he’s not also relatively laidback here

anyways just throwing this all out there while it’s still pre-midnight aka pre-5x06

[nellie-elizabeth]

Outlander: All Debts Paid (3x03)

Yay!!!!! John Grey is amazing. I'm really happy that he's getting a good amount of screen time. This episode includes some of my favorite passages in Voyager, and I'm very pleased with how they were handled.

Cons:

I will admit that the pacing felt a tad off in the Ardsmuir scenes. In the books, this is stretched out over a long period of time. John Grey and Jamie Fraser go from vile hatred to respect, friendship, and even unrequited love on John's part over the course of countless meals and games of chess. Here, we only see key moments. They hate each other. Jamie escapes briefly. They have a confrontation. They're playing chess. John screws it up by coming on to Jamie. John leads Jamie away to his new life at Helwater. Not a ton of time for the friendship to breathe.

Okay, also: Murtagh is still alive. I mean on the one hand I'm thrilled because I love him dearly. But this feels like a rather strange deviation from the source material. One of the tragedies of Jamie's life is how isolated he is at this point in the story. In fact, that's one of the things that leads to his friendship with John, because he finds against all odds that he can talk to this man somewhat as an equal. All of that is a bit undercut if he still has Murtagh, a close personal friend and family member, to lean on emotionally during his time in prison. Maybe this is a nitpick, and in many ways I am thrilled that Murtagh is still around, but... I don't know. I wonder how his character is going to fit in moving forward.

Pros:

All of that being said, I really liked John Grey. He's a pompous Brit in many ways, but he has a heart. Note his horror at the thought of the prisoners eating rats, and his attempted benevolence at giving the cells cats to rid them of the rat problem. He also portrays no particular racism towards the Scots in dealing with them - in that, if he shows them disrespect or disdain it is because they are prisoners, not because they are Scottish. Jamie and John play off of each other with such interesting intensity. The scene where Jamie reveals he remembers John from their first meeting was one of the episode's highlights (although the weird flashbacks to last season's episode were a little distracting and certainly unnecessary).

Throughout all of these scenes in Ardsmuir, we also get to see Jamie rediscover a purpose in life. It takes a remarkable man to make the best out of such a situation, but Jamie quickly becomes the de facto leader and spokesperson for the prisoners, granting him a unique opportunity to keep company with the prison's governor. He comes alive in the act of caring for his sick kinsmen, in particular Murtagh who is in a really bad way. John helpfully sends a doctor to care for Murtagh, which is one of the things that begins a friendship between himself and Jamie Fraser.

And let's talk about that friendship. Like I said, there wasn't a ton of time for the relationship to develop, but what we did see promises good things for the future. They'll have time to get to know each other while Jamie is at Helwater, and I can see these two forming the special bond that is so important to all of us who have read the books. The fact that Jamie can speak to John about Claire, joke about the fact that when they first met, Claire was never in any real danger, and speak about her being a "White Witch" and a healer, shows how much Jamie has grown to respect John. He hasn't been able to talk openly about Claire since losing her, but now is a chance for a little bit of healing. Of course, this comes on the heels of John sharing his own loss with Jamie. He tells the story of how he lost a particular friend (aka: lover) at Culloden, and how he will grieve for him forever. Jamie doesn't seem repulsed by this not-so-subtle reveal of John's sexuality, but he certainly doesn't take kindly to it when John puts his hand on Jamie's, a gesture far too intimate for Jamie's comfort.

This moment is a big, big thing in the book, and it comes across with similar severity here. Sam Heughan does a phenomenal job. Here he is, in a prison, with a British officer, and that British officer is expressing sexual interest in him... Yeah. PTSD like nobody's business. Just moments before, these two men had been sharing intimate and personal details with each other, open and vulnerable emotionally in a way that neither of them can be very often. And then suddenly, Jamie is steel. He is immovable and angry and will definitely kill John Grey if he doesn't take his hand off of him right this second. You can see the anguish in John, as well. Somehow this actor manages to portray the agony of being forced to keep his true self hidden at all times - and then in a moment of closeness, trusting someone with that true self only to be rejected with anger and threats of violence. Of course, John has no idea the minefield he's just stepped into in regards to Jamie's past traumas. Oh, the drama. So delicious.

As the episode ends, John, and Jamie are on... uncertain footing with one another. John has saved Jamie from indentured servitude in the colonies, and has brought him to relative comfort as a groomsman at a large estate. This means their relationship will continue, as John will continue to visit him to check on his welfare. It's John's way of saying sorry for his indiscretion, as well as indicating that he cares for Jamie, and it's easy to tell that Jamie's not sure how to process that.

Oh boy. As you might be able to tell from my extensive ramblings, I'm really in to John Grey as a character. I can't wait for more of him. But now, on to the equally compelling plot thread with Claire and Frank and Bree.

See, this is an area where I think the changes from the book really work. Obviously they've decided to expand Claire's story so that she can keep pace with Jamie's story. So instead of learning about Claire's time in medical school, Brianna's childhood, and Frank's death through a few very brief moments of flashback, we play it out from beginning to end. Another change is that Frank is way more sympathetic here than in the book. In the book, he has a string of affairs and although Claire knows about it, she didn't give her express permission. Here, Claire allows Frank to live a separate life, and Frank falls in love with another woman. I like the fact that Claire doesn't seem like a saint here. She doesn't cheat on Frank, literally, but she's been emotionally unavailable to him since her return. Meanwhile, Frank would have loved nothing more than a happy marriage with Claire, but when he realized he couldn't have that, he tried to find happiness elsewhere - with Claire's knowledge and permission. Claire is distant to her daughter because of how busy she is with medical school, while Frank is a doting father to Brianna. The whole thing leaves an impression that Frank and Claire are both damaged people in a tough spot, but... Claire might be slightly more the villain in this case.

And that's interesting. It shows the uglier side of having a soul mate - the kind of love that Jamie and Claire have is the stuff of fairy-tales, but it causes a lot of collateral damage. In this case, Claire hurts Frank, a good man, and can't look at her own daughter without being reminded of what she's lost. This version of events also makes Frank's death a lot more tragic. We'd just finished hearing Frank talk about how he wants a divorce and wants to live out the rest of his life with a wife who loves him. And then - bam. That future is stolen from him. Claire's goodbye to Frank was really touching. She tells him - or rather, his body, that she did love him. He was her first love. Ouch.

We are creeping ever closer to the reunion of the century - or rather, centuries. It's smart to keep us in suspense about it. The books did the same thing, making the moment all the more intense when it happens. I'm excited about so many of the things that are coming down the pipe this season, and I'm thrilled that everything thus far has kept me captivated.

8.5/10

[austencello]

Lian Yu - Arrow Music Notes 5x23

The end of this season brings Team Arrow (plus a few former enemies) against Team Prometheus with many epic fights and small character moments as Oliver deals with the residing guilt over his father’s suicide as he fights for his own son.  Meanwhile, Oliver races against Kovar and time to get to the boat to return home in the Flashbacks bringing the 5 seasons full circle back to the pilot.

Usually, I divide the episode review up into characters or places.  However, the episode is so intertwined with returning themes, new themes, and the Flashbacks that I will point out important themes and characters as the episode unfolded.

The episode begins with the opening line from the Pilot about Lian Yu (Purgatory) with the Lian Yu sound (”Five Years” 1x01) as it transitions to Oliver recruiting Slade to help him.  As Slade explains that he is sane again, the music “Promise Kept” plays (2x20 - Slade kidnaps Oliver, Moira and Thea before Moira dies).  It is eerie and reminds us (along with Slade) of the man and monster Slade had become in Season 2.  Oliver is literally facing his demons and one of the worst nights of his life to defeat Prometheus and find his son.  Slade recognizes that Oliver should have killed him but Oliver says that this could be the reason he didn’t.  He offers redemption to find their sons and then gives him the Deathstroke mask accompanied by the electronic Deathstroke sound (1x05 - “Deathstroke” - first with Billy Wintergreen, then Slade later on.)

The Deathstroke motive (low brass tri-tone - 1x09 “Deathstroke”, again first with Wintergreen then Slade) plays as he appears with Oliver and Harkness in his full gear.  Meanwhile, in the flashbacks, Kovar discovers that Oliver has escaped and the music has a sense of urgency as Oliver runs with a repeating string pattern, cimbalon, electronics, and percussion.  (This was one of my favorite new music moments.)  The cimbalon plays as Oliver flashbacks to his agreement with Anatoly that the boat would arrive soon.

Back in the present day, Slade, Oliver, and Harkness discover part of Team Arrow in cages accompanied by a repeated pizzicato pattern (pizzicato was also used for the trap set for Thea and Quentin in 5x22).  Slade at first appears to help the enemy but then gives a clue to Oliver: “There is no giving up to these guys” - a reference to their training in 1x14.  The same timpani hit with brass plays for both times he says that line. The electronic Deathstroke sound plays as Slade punches Harkness.  The fight that ensues with Talia and Evelyn (and Harkness) has an almost techno feel in the syncopated electronic and percussive beats.

Felicity and Thea are not happy to see Oliver teaming up with Slade and that he wants them to leave so Thea brings Oliver to the side to talk.  Hammered dulcimer (Oliver’s instrument) plays as he asks her for help regardless of the situation.  Because she loves him, she agrees.

Oliver gives Felicity a tablet containing imagery of the Island: “Just in case.”  Harp (Felicity’s instrument) and piano (Oliver’s instrument) plays “Purest Heart” as Felicity kisses him: “Just in case.”  “Purest Heart” is from 2x21 as both Walter and Oliver tell Thea how much Oliver loves her.  This returns several times throughout the series as Oliver expresses his love as her brother and how much he needs her: 3x03, 3x20, 4x12.  Oliver will always love Thea, no matter what.  His love is strong, loyal, and faithful and he will always believe the best in her.  The other woman that he loves this much is Felicity.  He will always love Felicity with this depth, strong and loyal.  She is his world and he believes in her.  (Thanks to Blake Neely who helped clarify this for me!)

Men’s choir (often used for religious spaces) sings as Diggle and Quentin are brought through the Chinese Holy Retreat by Black Siren to where Dinah and Rene are chained up.  Meanwhile, Oliver and Slade talk about his past coming to haunt him.  Slade tells Oliver it all comes down to his Father’s suicide and the guilt he carries from it. The only way to move forward is to forgive himself.  During this scene, strings and horn (Hero theme 2) plays.

Malcolm tries to initiate conversation with Thea, who wants nothing to do with him.  Crutales (a callback to “Like Father, Like Daughter” - 3x03 when they trained together) play over an electronic repeated note before Thea steps on a landmine (with the Lian Yu sound.)  Malcolm pushes her off and sacrifices himself as his theme in the harp plays with a new theme in strings.  Malcolm was a selfish villain and had a twisted sense of love but he gets a chance for redemption for finally putting Thea first.

Oliver, Nyssa and Slade arrive at the Retreat site and split up.  Slade knocks Oliver out (appearing to betray him) and the first note of the Deathstroke motive plays as he hands Oliver over to Black Siren. 

Meanwhile, Thea and Felicity talk about their evil dads as Thea struggles with the reality that Malcolm just died.  Regardless of their issues and terrible parenting, both Dads ultimately were willing to sacrifice themselves for their children when in harms way.  As Felicity tells Thea it is okay to miss Malcolm, a new melody plays in high bell-like tones over strings.  Thea got to see the father Malcolm could have been but too late.

Back with the rest of the Team, Oliver gives Dinah the device Curtis created to bypass the sonic dampeners.  As she lets go a scream (and named Black Canary by Quentin), a new triumphant brass motive plays.

Talia hears the Canary Cry and turns to stop the prisoners but is interrupted by Nyssa.  As they deal with “unfinished business” by dueling, a lot of Nanda Parbat/Nyssa instruments are featured especially with the duduk and drums. The Season 2 mirakiru horns (interestingly mirroring the melismas in the duduk) play as Deathstroke jumps in and stops Talia’s League.

Oliver and the rest of the team joins up with Nyssa and Slade as hero horn 1 (first heard in 1x01 “Sacrifice”) plays but then switches to Prometheus’ tick-tock and string glissandos as he appears with his team.  The tick-tock continues as he continues to taunt and mess with Oliver’s head.  A fight commences and the music plays the themes of each character as they fight: Arrow, Deathstroke, Diggle (in horns) and Wild-Dog. It’s pretty awesome.

The music morphs as the fights morph from Flashbacks to present day: cimbalon and low Russian strings as Kovar knows he just has to make Oliver miss his boat, to Team Arrow music timbre with higher strings as the team fights, to more electronics as the Canaries fight.  Horns begin the Canary theme (2x03 “Canary”) and then changes into the last 3 notes of the new melody with Dinah’s cry earlier in the episode.  Electronics pick up again as Black Siren walks over to Dinah but then quiet as she gets knocked out.  Horn (hero) plays as Quentin explains he had to: “for so many reasons.”

Chase tries to get Oliver to kill him but Oliver ultimately refuses as the slow version of the Arrow theme plays in the lower strings (used in emotional moments for Oliver - “I forgot Who I was”)  As he tells Adrian that he is no longer that killer, the violins play it faster overlaying the slower version (Green Arrow plus Oliver Queen): “That’s not who I am now.”  Horn joins with a new theme as he declares that he is done blaming himself for his father’s death.  Violins play the slow Arrow theme again as Chase tells Oliver that William is dead, a moment of brief anguish.  Cellos and basses play as Oliver refuses to kill Chase and become that murderer again even if that is true.

Oliver runs to catch Chase (in a boat) while in the Flashbacks he gets ready to catch his boat accompanied by “Saving Oliver” (1x14 - Diggle and Felicity race against time to save dying Oliver.)  This track gives a sense of urgency of life and death.  The Arrow brass glissando occurs as present Oliver jumps and races down the pier to catch Adrian’s boat.  A version of the Arrow theme plays as he attack Chase.

The music switches to “Five Years” as a shortened opening sequence from the Pilot is shown of Oliver being rescued bringing the series full circle.

The team discovers that the escape plane has been sabotaged as the strings maneuver around (similar but longer pattern to “The Team Continues Without Oliver” in S3).  They tell Oliver and then Chase brings out William giving Oliver an ultimatum: save the team or William.  The horn plays a new melody starting on a dissonant note before resolving and repeats it.  Dissonance always gives musical tension which amps up the tension for this horrible situation.

Oliver shoots Chase in the leg and rescues William from Adrian’s grasp.  Then Flashbacks begin with Oliver calling Moira that he is still alive.  “Returning Home” plays which is the same music when she sees him for the first time in the pilot: “My beautiful boy.”

As Chase begins to monologue about how fitting it is that William should discover his father’s identity in the same place that Oliver learned the truth about his, a high eerie pitch plays over a slow minor scale in the strings.  It gives a hint that something is not quite right and then the tick-tock begins as his final plan comes into play to destroy Oliver.  His string glissandos are added as the gun comes out and Oliver realizes in horror that Chase is going to kill himself and blow up the Island with everyone on it.  A very low rumble and the high pitch is left hanging before everything becomes silent except for the bombs exploding.  Leaving Oliver and William (and the audience) in complete anguish and shock.

Extra Notes

- What an ending.  This reminded me of Season 1 when Oliver believed he had won only to have the villain have a final twist up his sleeve.  To finally choose to let go of his past and trust his team only to have them ripped away from him is heartbreaking.  (Thankfully we know that Arrow will not have killed off almost every cast member so we have a bit more hope)

-  It has been a joy to go through this music again this season.  Thanks for all of your support and encouragement.  Thanks also to Blake Neely and his team for writing fantastic music that gets us all so excited (and for answering my questions!)

- Until next time!

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