#who lived in a shady little beat down apartment in the back of a forgotten alley

[coldjustness]

Woke up thinking about Neve Gallus becoming more infamous than the family who left her behind.

[toomanystoriessolittletime]

Sugar Bunny (1/3)

Summary: Meeting August Walker, CEO one of the most successfull real estate agencys in the states in a coffee shop of all places, turned into one of the best things that could have happened to you. You became his sugar bunny and against all your willpower you fell in love with him. Oh if only everything would be so easy, and if only August was really only a CEO of a company...

Pairing: August Walker / F!Reader

Wordcount: 2.3k

Warnings: Smut (dirty talk; d/s vibes; unprotected sex)

A/N: Okay. So this is a completely finished mini series i’m going to post thursdays. Hope you enjoy x

Masterlist

August had been gone for months. It wasn’t like you had a claim on him (his claim on you was a whole different story) but frankly, you didn’t care.

 You felt the beats of the music as you danced. You were wearing your most revealing dress, only just going below your ass, hooking up with some guy you met on Tinder. Just to piss August off. Because you didn’t know how but you knew for sure that you acting out seemed to set off an internal alarm. August always seemed to know just when you were about to do something stupid. Like some fucked up guardian angel.

 “Do you want a drink?” The guy, whose name you already had forgotten asked, his greedy hands on your hip as he leaned in to ask right into your ear. His breath smelled like something had died inside of him years ago. He was attractive, one could even say handsome, but he wasn’t August.

“Sure. Gin Tonic.” You called back, trying to speak over the loud music. He nodded, about to lean down to kiss you on your cheek, when you turned away as the music changed. You fought the urge to grin as he huffed and walked away. 

There was no way you would be leaving with him. You might have been desperate for a good fuck, but not that desperate. Swaying your hips to the music you closed your eyes, getting lost. You didn’t care if the guy came back with your drink. Your thoughts were consumed by ocean blue eyes. You used to joke that the hazel spot in his eyes was the only thing that stopped you from getting lost in them. You knew back then that it was already too late. August Walker had ruined you for any other man on this planet.

 The fact that you met him in a coffee shop of all places was out of a cheesy love story. Not that love was involved in any way. That was at least what you told yourself. Then again, you had never been in love before. You didn’t know if it was normal to find yourself wondering what August would think in every decision that you made. You still remembered the shiver you felt the first time he touched you. Like you were struck by lightning.

 “Wrong month.” He had grinned to himself, as he had given you your cup of tea you had ordered to go. You had been in a hurry to get to work in time, but when his fingers brushed over yours, you had stopped. And just looked at him.

“Sorry?” You asked, still looking at the gorgeous man in front of you.

“I’m waiting for August.” His deep voice answered you.

 Shaking your head you almost rolled your eyes, when you saw your “Date” coming back with your drink. He looked at you and you motioned with your finger in the direction of the restrooms, not waiting for his reaction as you turned around and danced yourself across the dancefloor. 

As usual there was a line to the women’s restroom, yet no one seems to go to the men's restroom. Looking over your shoulder you made the quick decision to use the men’s room. Those were cleaner anyway.

Thankfully no one was in, not that guys bothered much anyway. Leaning with your hands on the sink you looked at yourself. You looked cute, even sexy. You even wore the heels August had bought you the last time you were out with him. 

You had stopped in front of the store, not daring to ever buy shoes like that. You were struggling to pay your rent as it is, there’s no way you could afford $ 1.000 designer high heels.

 “Usually the look you’re giving these shoes is reserved for me, Bunny.” August looked at you with his raised eyebrow.

“And it always will be.” You smiled.

“You want them?” He asked, nodding towards the heels.

“Yeah. But I could never afford them.”  He continued to look at you with an unreadable expression. That was something he seemed to do a lot lately. You’ve been “together” for almost a year now. And by together you meant August showed up unexpectedly every couple weeks, stayed a short time, usually for at least 5 orgasms and then left. But not without filling your fridge at least.

A fucked up guardian angel.

Your fucked up guardian angel.

He had insisted on paying all of your open bills the last time. That was the time he asked for your thoughts about becoming his “sugar bunny”. As soon as you had agreed everything changed. You moved from your shitty one bedroom apartment into 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom penthouse with the most spectacular view on Elliot Bay. 

The penthouse had been one of August` investments. As owner of one of the biggest real estate agencies in the states, a 3 million dollar penthouse seemed to be peanuts for him. You, on the other hand, were struggling with accepting everything he gave you. You didn’t feel like you deserved anything you didn’t work for. 

Life had never been easy for you. Moving out of your parents house when you turned 16, you had gone from living in the worst places possible until you found a job which could support you on the road to your ultimate goal: becoming an interior designer. 

Since you met August, money hadn’t been a problem anymore. He paid for all your expenses, including your college debt. 

Looking at yourself in the mirror you sighed. He hadn’t returned your message from almost two weeks ago and a part of you grew worried. You were pretty sure there was some shady thing he was doing apart from the real estates. There was just something about him….

“You seem to be looking for trouble, bunny.” His voice scared you, making you jump. Turning around, you leaned against the sink, seeing August lean against the door. 

“August…” You began.

“Hush.” He shook his head, locking the door behind him. You breathed in deep, gulping as he slowly began to walk towards you. He was wearing dark suit pants, his white dress shirt rolled up over his elbows, the first three buttons opened. His signature mustache was nearly invisible due to all the scruff in his face, his curly hair longer, falling over his eyes. He tsked as he walked.

“You look like a little slut, bunny. Who is this guy you are here with?” He asked.

“No one important.” You whispered.

“Then why are you dressed like you want to get fucked by him?” August stopped in front of you and his familiar scent clouded your mind, making it hard for you to think straight.

“I want to get fucked…” You said, looking up at him with big eyes. He raised his left eyebrow.

“But not by him, Sir.” You bit your lip. He tilted his head, still looking at you and it was just this tilt that seemed to make you wetter than you had ever been before in your life. Why were you so obsessed with this man?

“Not by him, huh?” He huffed, holding up one of his hands, letting just one finger run down from your shoulder to your hand, making you shiver and gasp. He took hold of your hand, bringing it up to his lips, taking two fingers inside of his mouth and sucked. You watched him, feeling your legs go weak.

“Aug…” You began when he bent down, kissing you all tongue and teeth, his hands pulling you up to sit on the sink. Immediately you crossed your legs behind him, wanting him nearer, your hand disappearing in his longish hair, as his tongue invaded your mouth, making you moan against him. 

“You know how much I hate it when other men touch what’s mine…” He growled against your lips, one of his hands going in between your legs, slipping your panties to the side. He grinned when he found you wet.

“You’re on the pill now, right?” He asked. You nodded.

“Fucking perfect.” He kissed you again.

“Turn around and grab the sink. I want you to see who this pussy belongs to while I fuck you.” 

You hopped down from the sink as August pulled his cock out. Looking down you licked your lips, making him chuckle.

“Eager little bunny. But we’ll have time for that later.” He winked, making you blush. Turning around you leaned with your elbows on the sink, looking first at yourself, then up at August who was watching you as he stepped closer.

You felt him tease you with the tip of his cock. Did you think he would end up fucking you without a condom for the first time in the restroom of a shitty night club? No. Not really. Yet you couldn’t think of anything more fitting for your “relationship.”

“Bunny… You’re so wet…” He said in awe. You sighed, looking at him.

“I need just one….” He got on his knees behind you, diving in between your legs, licking you pussy like an ice cone.

“Fuck….” You let your head fall down. Only that could be enough to make you cum after such a long time.

“Like honey….” He groaned against your pussy before he came to stand behind you again. 

“Look at me bunny.” He said. And as you slowly looked up at him, he entered you completely in one hard thrust, making you scream from the sweet pain of his huge cock filling you after months.

“Like a glove…” He groaned, his hands on your hips as he stilled.

“You feel even better than I thought you would, Bunny.” He grinned at you in the mirror. You heard banging against the door.

“We better make this quick.” He said, before he bottomed out, only to slam into you again. The force making you hold up a hand, pushing it against the mirror.

“If I say you cum, you are going to cum.” August growled, beginning to thrust into you hard, his fingers surely leaving bruises on your hips from how strongly he was holding you. You only nodded, bracing yourself as you took what he gave you, already feeling the tingling in the pit of your stomach. 

“When we get home…” August pressed in between thrusts “I want you to wear that slutty lingerie you bought when I was away.” He fucked you faster, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. “Just so I can rip them off of you and fuck you against the window so the whole fucking city sees who this pussy belongs to.” He slapped your ass hard. Moaning his name you pushed back against him.

“Come on now, Bunny. Cum for me.” He pressed. Looking at him in the mirror you fell apart, thankful that you were by now half laying on the sink, your orgasm taking your ability to hold yourself up right.

“That’s it… Are you ready for me to fill you with my cum? So you know that the only cock that is fucking you is mine?” He underlined every word with a hard thrust.

“Fill me up, sir.” You whimpered, looking up at him.

“Fuck….” He groaned, thrusting once again until he stayed deep inside you and released his cum. His warmth filling you. 

“Shit that feels so good.” He moaned. Looking at the beautiful man behind you, that was all yours, you sighed. He looked at you, a small smile sneaking to his lips, as he bent down, You turned your head so you could kiss him.

You were interrupted by another knock on the door.

Slowly he pulled out of you, making you whimper again. As he was tucking himself back in he took a step back.

“That’s a sight I won’t get used too quickly.” He said. You looked over your shoulder, seeing him look down at your pussy where you felt his cum slowly drip out of you. He shook his head before he carefully pulled your panties back to cover you.

“Come on Bunny. Time to go home.” He crocked his eyebrow. Slowly you pushed yourself up, your legs feeling like jelly. Grinning he stepped towards you, taking your hands in his as he kissed your forehead. You leaned with your whole body against him, enjoying feeling his closeness. 

This would become a problem in the future.

“Ready?” He asked. Nodding you let him pull you towards the door. Unlocking it, he opened it only to find your date and some other guys standing in front of it.

“Sorry gentlemen.” August said a little too smugly as he let you step out of the restroom first. You couldn’t bear to look at your date as you walked past him. You felt August behind you, one of his hands on your ass.

“You wanna have a drink before we go?” He asked, leaning down so you could hear him better.

“And one dance?” You asked. You saw his lips twitch.

“But only because it’s your birthday Bunny.” He winked. Blushing you smiled. He leaned down, kissing you quickly, but you didn’t let him go. Pulling your arms behind his neck you sighed against his lips as he cornered you against the nearest wall, pulling you up in his arms to kiss you properly.

Out of breath you leaned your forehead against his.

“Champagne for your 22nd birthday?” He asked.

“That would be perfect.” You whispered. Kissing you quickly again, he slowly let you get down to the ground, before his hand pulled you towards the bar.

What you both didn’t notice were the two FBI Agents watching the two of you intently. One of them being your date. And you didn’t know just how much you would treasure this as one of the last moments of being with August. The August you fell in love with.

[holylulusworld]

More than my property

Summary: Steve is torn between keeping you his dirty secret and being a good financèe for another woman.

Pairing: Alpha!Mobster!Steve Rogers x Omega!Reader, Alpha!Bucky Barnes

Warnings: angst, abo, abo dynamics, mobster au, claiming, knotting, scenting, smut, unprotected sex, possessive Steve, mentions of cheating, unrequited love, sad reader, scared reader, dominant Steve, mentions of mobster business, unplanned pregnancy, arguments, violence against a door

A/N: Prompt was AU angst/smut with Steve so I chose to make him a mobster and an Alpha.

Words: 3,3 k

6000 Followers BINGO CARD theme: AU (He’s a mobster in this)

6000 Followers Celebration Masterlist

“Steve, you need to leave, please.” Only opening the door wide enough to poke your head out you try to not give in to the blue-eyed Alpha. “Go back to her, Steve. I can’t do this any longer.”

“Y/N, let me in.” His voice soft, but determined Steve presses one palm against the wall to poke his head in. “You’re mine…”

“No, I am not and that’s the problem, Alpha. You come here for over three years and use me whenever you are in rut as your precious Peggy can’t give you what you need, as you can’t make her bear your lust and your dominant side.” Sniffling you wipe the tears with your sleeve.

“I will not repeat myself, Omega. Let me in.” Full dangerous mobster and dominant Alpha now Steve tries to make you submit once again. “Y/N, you are still my girl.”

A high cupped sob leaves your lips and the tears fall even harder. “I am not your girl, Stevie…” Your nickname for him leaving your lips let his features soften for a moment.

“She is. When you are with her, living your glamorous life I am long forgotten till your next rut.”

“Omega, you are my precious girl, but you know I can’t go public. This is not…” Sighing Steve tries to make you see his position but this time, you can’t give in.

“Yeah, sure…” Glancing up at the tall Alpha you give him a cracked smile. “The poor student living in a shady apartment is not worth being showed. I am only your dirty little secret, but I can’t stay unclaimed forever, Stevie. I need more than you can give me…” Sniffling you hand him the phone he gave you.

“It’s yours…you can’t just…” His eyes land on the small bag with the few things he gave you as you drop it to his feet.

“Nothing is mine, Steve. I love you…” Steve’s heart beats faster at your confession. “…but it breaks me to watch you leave every time you had what you came for. There are no cuddling or loving words after; only before to lull me into the illusion you care for me, but you don’t care at all…”

“I care…a lot…” Shaking your head you point toward your upper arm. You are wearing an oversized shirt so you can easily shove the sleeve up to show Steve an ugly bruise. “Who did this?”

“Last week, an Alpha grabbed me and tried to touch me. He could as you weren’t there…” Sobbing you shove the sleeve back down. “I called you Steve, three times as I felt someone following me, but you refused to take my call.”

“I was at a meeting…” Steve lies, you can see it in his eyes. “I am so sorry, doll…”

“No, you’re not, Stevie. I needed your help, but you were out with her. With the woman, you have repeatedly told me you are not in love with but…” Grabbing the magazine you toss it into Steve’s face.

“Y/N…” Laughing bitterly you shake your head.

“You hold her hand, kiss her cheek on those pictures. This doesn’t look like an arranged engagement Steve. This looks like you coming to me to shelter your Omega from getting hurt during your ruts as she’s precious to you and I am disposable…”

When the door slams shut Steve knocks repeatedly, but you lock the door and walk away.

“Punk, you look like shit. Was the sex bad this time?” Teasing his friend Bucky looks up at your window and his throat tightens. He can watch you wipe away more tears and it let his heart clench in his chest. “Shit…”

“What? She rejected me, sent me away, Buck. Y/N believes I only use her during my ruts or something.” Grumbling Steve looks at his hands. “Said I do not care at all.”

“True, Steve. Look at the shithole she calls her home. It’s shady and even worse, dangerous for an unclaimed Omega.” Blinking Bucky watches you close the curtains.

Wide-eyed Steve looks at his friend, gulping a few times. “I thought it’s not that bad.”

Snorting Bucky shakes his head. “Steve, only as no one got killed next to her apartment doesn’t mean she’s safe here. Smirking Bucky licks his lips as Steve slams his hands onto the dashboard.

“How do you want to know, Buck? I haven’t seen her for months…oh…” Glancing at his friend Steve snarls. “Right, you were watching her for me.”

“As ordered I made sure your girl is safe. Good thing I followed her or that Alpha would have done more than scaring her.” Bucky growls in response. “I brought her home and made her tea.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“She asked me not to do so. The poor girl went out to eat ice cream and got attacked.” Rubbing his forehead Steve looks up at your window.

“Maybe she found someone else and that’s the reason Y/N wants me out of her life.” Grumbling Steve looks at your apartment once again.

“When, punk? I can tell she only leaves for work or to study, comes back here and stays at home. She only left to visit a bookstore and to buy groceries…” Looking at his notebook Bucky flips through the pages.

“Oh, on Friday she was at her doctors’ practice again and that’s it. Y/N doesn’t have the time to find an Alpha…” Bucky exclaims.

“Wait…doctor? Is she sick? What kind of doctor did she see?” Panting Steve takes the notebook out of his friends’ hands to have a look at your doctor’s name.

“Gynecologist. She goes to her every few weeks as much as I can say. Isn’t that normal?” Blinking Bucky must watch his friend jump out of the car to run toward your apartment. “I guess not…”

“Y/N, Omega!” Growling Steve slams his fists into your door. ���Open the door or I’ll kick it open.” Frozen to the spot you start shaking as Steve gets more aggressive.

“I will destroy it!”

“No…” Whimpering the word you want to rush toward the bedroom, but the door flies open as Steve used all his strength to get into your apartment.

“Omega…” His eyes land on your belly and you wrap your arms around your body, shaking in fear as the angry Alpha steps closer.

“Mine…” With shaking fingers Steve wants to reach out for you but you instinctively flinch away to protect your pup.

“Steve, she’s frightened of you.” Closing the door, well what’s left of it Bucky tries to calm his friend. “A pregnant Omega is vulnerable and easily frightenend when an aggressive Alpha threatens her pup.”

Hearing Steve knows about the baby you look up at him in fear. Tears spill out of your eyes and your lips start to quiver.

“Please don’t hurt my baby. You don’t need to feel responsible. It’s my fault…” Sniffling you try to steady your body as your legs threaten to give in. “I swear I won’t tell anyone.”

“Y/N…god…” Steve’s arms wrap around your scared form and you bury your face into his chest. “I won’t harm you or my pup, doll.” Shushing you Steve nods at Bucky and his friend silently leaves your apartment. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Whimpering you shudder as his hands move up and down your back. “I…I know my place, Steve. I am only an easy lay for you and men never marry the side-girl. They stay with the rich and pretty woman at their side.”

“You’re mine, Omega. This is my pup, and no one can have you.” Having Peggy by his side had its advantage but here is the Omega he wants, pregnant with his pup.

“I…I am not yours, Stevie. You need to go before the landlord calls the cops and everyone gets to know you were at my apartment.” Pointing toward the destroyed door you try to part your body from Steve’s.

“I’ll handle this on my own like everything else over the last three years. It’s not that I ever felt like I am having an Alpha…” A low snarl leaves Steve’s throat and you gasp as he presses you against the wall.

There is a dangerous glint in those blue eyes, and you look at the door, asking yourself if you can make it for a run or not.

“Don’t you dare to think to get away from me, Omega…” Teeth gritted Steve looks at you. “You are mine, my property…”

“I am nothing you can own, Mr. Rogers. I want you to go now…” In an attempt to get him off you, you press your hands weakly against his chest. “I can’t be with you any longer. You are going to get married in three weeks according to the magazine…”

“I won’t give you up.”

“Shall I be your whore or rather a dirty secret for three more years? Shall I tell your son he’s the result of your need to get off? What shall I do, Stevie?” Sniffling you ball your hands into fists.

“What can a woman do when the man she loves doesn’t love her back?” Crying bitterly, you refuse to meet Steve’s eyes. “Tell me and I do so…”

“I want you to go to your bedroom and wait for me. Bucky will stay and make sure you are safe. I’ll be back in an hour or two. Don’t you dare to run away from your Alpha.” Steve’s face is stoic, but his eyes are softer now.

“I’ll make you see you are more than my property.” Pressing a surprisingly soft kiss to your neck he hums against you. “Eat something and wait for me, pretty girl. I promise to come back as fast as possible.”

You nod in agreement, wanting nothing more than for Steve to leave. If only Bucky is around, you might have the chance to sneak out when he’s not looking.

“You know…” Smirking Steve cups your cheek to press his lips to yours. “Bucky will not let you go. That punk knows you are my girl.”

“Stevie…” Pecking your lips again he purrs for you and for a moment you let him pretend he’s genuinely interested in you. “Just…”

“I’ll be back…”

“Can’t you just let me go? I could sleep at my mom’s place or something…” Whining you look at Bucky who sits right in front of your door, a big grin plastered all over his face.

“Nope. Can’t do so, doll. Sit on your couch, eat the food I brought and tell me about the pup.” Bucky is a nice guy, even saved you but right now, you want to strangle him.

“Please, Bucky. You know he doesn’t even like me. Steve only used me to get off.” Sniffling you fall onto your couch, slamming your fists into the pillow. “I can’t hide in the shadows only for him to feel like a potent Alpha able to knot two Omega’s…”

“Doll…” Sighing Bucky points toward the food. “Eat something, Darling. Stevie will be back soon, and you can talk to your Alpha.”

“NO! I can’t!” Yelling you toss the Chinese food at Bucky, but he is faster and dodges your attack.

“Don’t you get it, Bucky? He’s not my Alpha and never will be. I am only a valve to release some pressure. Nothing else. Maybe he even plans to take the baby away from me and give it to her…” Spatting the words you glare at the tall Alpha. “He never said it…”

“Said what, doll?” Getting up to sit next to you Bucky searches your face.

“I told him that I love him, Bucky. He never said it back. That’s what I am to him. A thing he can own, use and let rot in a corner till he wants to play with it again. For over four months he didn’t even call…”

“Y/N, we had a lot of shit going on over the last months. The was an attack and we had to strike back. Steve, he ordered his best man to look after you.” Smirking Bucky looks at you. “Me, doll.”

“Why should he do this when he didn’t even answer my call that night?” Voice cracking you look at the mobster next to you, waiting for his response.

“Stevie, he’s a complicated man. Very dominant, very powerful and dangerous. With Peggy, he’s always cold and only touches her to make sure everyone believes she’s the obedient trophy she should be…”

“Trophy?”

“Steve, he took over her father’s empire and she was the most priced possession. Stevie doesn’t feel passion or love for her. But with you…” Bumping his shoulder against yours, Bucky snickers.

“Did you see how his shoulders slumped every time you rejected him?” Chuckling Bucky glances at Steve entering your apartment. “Girl, you’ve got that tall and dangerous man wrapped around your pinky. Now let him kneel and earn your forgiveness…”

Bucky leaves the apartment and you look at Steve who fights with a huge bouquet of roses. “I…uh…” Clearing his throat Steve tries to tame the dominant Alpha. “I want to congratulate you on having my pup.”

“That’s not…” Glancing at the flowers you want to snicker, remembering Bucky’s words. “You can congratulate Peggy when she conceived your pup.” Lips pursed you watch Steve getting closer. He’s cursing under his breath and you snicker this time.

“You see…I … I set Peggy free. Her father agreed to give me one more club and she was allowed to go home.” Scratching his chin Steve sits next to you. “I will let Sam pack your stuff and you will come with me…right now!”

Done with playing Steve wraps you into the blanket on your couch before he picks you up to carry you out of your apartment.

“Steve! Stevie let me down!” Wiggling in his grip you snarl at him but the mobster shrugs, nodding at Sam on his way out.

“Get all her shit! Do not forget anything and then, bring it to the Mansion. I’ll have to check on my pregnant wildcat.” This time Steve snickers, and you shiver as his hold on you tightens.

“Bucky is right, you have me wrapped around your pinkie, but you will do as your Alpha says from now on. No more talking back. The moment I put my mark on your neck, you’ll have to submit to me.” Purring he nuzzles your cheek and you can feel your body react to his strong scent.

“I…I never said I’ll let you claim me…” Stubborn you purse your lips but Steve ignores your ministrations to fight him. While Bucky opens the door to the backseat for Steve you wiggle in his grip but it’s useless.

“Wildcat for sure…” Snickering Bucky watches you fight his friend. “You have a lot of work to do to tame this Omega…”

“I’ll make her my good girl tonight. I bet she will purr like a kitten for me…” Smirking Steve nips at your shoulder and you slap his cheek. “You will regret you hit your Alpha…”

“No…” Gasping you feel his hold tighten once again and you know the dangerous look he gives you is his final warning. “You left me alone…”

“I had my reasons, Y/N. Now act like an adult and sit on my lap. Be a good girl…” Snarling he watches you wiggle on his lap until you finally find a suitable position. His large palm presses your head to his chest, and you don’t fight the mobster.

“Much better, Y/N. You will learn to follow my orders…”

Scrambling away you feel two strong arms drag you back toward the edge of the bed. Before you can fight him Steve reveals your swollen belly. He’s purring at the sight and his lips place a soft kiss above your belly button.

“You smell so good, doll. Missed you, your scent and this tight little cunt wrapped around my knot. Do you know how hard it was not to come to you?” Shaking your head, you watch Steve drag your panties down.

He’s vibrating against you before he dives in to nuzzle your mound. “Had to stay away to make sure no one hurts my girl.”

“Stevie…” Gasping you feel his tongue lap at your slick folds. “Please…just…” Your body is ready to give in, craves nothing more than the closeness of your pup’s father.

“Look at this pussy, made for me and waiting to get filled…” He’s lazily sliding his tongue through your folds, not giving you enough to find release but to make you whimper with every stroke of his skilled muscles. “Say it and you will get what you need…”

“I am yours…” Cursing you spread your thighs and Steve crawls between your legs to nudge at your slit. “Alpha…”

Two fingers pressed to your lips Steve smirks, just slowly sliding his digits into your mouth as he lines up with your entrance.

“Such a good girl now. You know…” He’s sliding into you, bottoming out with one forceful thrust.

“I need to make you feel me for days.” Pecking your neck, he starts to rut into you, slow but with enough force to take your breath away. “But I’ll be gentle this time, doll. You are having my pup after all…”

Steve rolls his hips slow, gentle to make you feel the drag against your walls with every long stroke.

His lips caress your collarbone and you dig your nails into his left shoulder to hold tight onto him.

While you slide your hand through his hair he moans against you, enjoying the gentle gesture. He returns it with soft kisses and little nibble at your skin while his cock slides into you with more force.

“You’ll be mine…always mine…” Calling out his name, along with curses you meet his thrusts. “My Omega…my wife…my love…”

Eyes closed you whimper at his words and he smirks against your skin. “I think you like the idea, doll. You just squeezed me tight enough to choke me.”

“Stevie…” Panting you fist his hair as your high is too close. “Please…” Urged on by your pleas he speeds up, does anything to press your orgasm out of you before his knot pops open.

“I want your knot, Alpha…”

Steve loses it. His hands move to your thighs to control your body as his thrusts become erratic and you are on the edge of your release.

“I love you, Y/N…” His words let you cry out in pleasure and you are sure he felt it in his bones that you submitted to him as his cum floats your belly the moment you tilt your head.

“Mine…” Teeth sink into your neck and you feel euphoria push you over the edge once again. “Doll…fuck…”

“So…” Glancing at your claiming mark Bucky smirks. “She agreed to stay?”

“My girl stays at my house and is going to marry me, after I proposed of course. I mean…” Fumbling a box with a ring out of his jacket Steve looks at you.

“When did you get this?” Looking at the beautiful ring you smile as it’s not the one Peggy wore.

“I said I need one hour or two, doll. I drove to the jeweler to get the ring I ordered and back.” Stammering you look at Steve. “I thought you called things off with Peggy while you were away…”

“Y/N, I called things off with her weeks ago. We had to wait for her father to agree to my terms for her freedom. He doesn’t know I would’ve let her go either way.” Smirking Steve steps closer to wrap his arms around you.

“Gotcha in my claws and I’ll never let you go.”

You don’t know if it’s a promise or a threat but to be with your Alpha, the father of your pup you’ll accept he’s dominant and dangerous.

“Love you Alpha…”

“I love you too, Y/N but…” Biting your neck Steve snickers. “You will learn to follow my orders. As my wife, you need to be aware bad people are wanting to hurt me.”

“I’ll listen to you. At least when it comes to danger…” Giggling you turn in his embrace. “But for the rest, I’ll make sure I am more than your property…”

All works Tags

@yolobloggers, @meganywinchester, @shikshinkwon, @miraclesoflove , @mogaruke, @shatteredabby, @soryuwifeyxx, @letsdisneythings, @i-love-superhero, @psychicforest, @thevelvetseries, @deanmonandnegansbitch, @sabascio​, @goodgodimaweirdperson​, @that-place-called-middle-earth, @the-broken-angel-13, @trumpettay​, @zxph-yr

Marvel Tags

@stuckys-whore, @notyourtypicalrose, @voltage-my2dlove, @thedoctorscamanion, @officialmarvelwhore, @randomgirlkensy, @juniorhuntersam​, @lumar014​, @doctorswife221b​, @sister-winchesters99​, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​, @the-soulofdevil​, @chonisberonica​ , @redroomproperty​, @natura1phenomenon​, @chaoticfiretaconerd​, @heartislubbingdubbing​, @hhiggs​, @sea040561​, @midnightsilver16830​, @rvgrsbrns​

Steve Rogers/Chris Evans Tags

@roonyxx​, @stylesismyhubs​, @multisuperfandom​, @mrspeacem1nusone​, @shadowcatsworld , @fallenoutofrose​, @rynabarnesrogers​, @denisemarieangelina​, @gabifernandessn​, @heyiamthatbitch​

[hetalia-has-a-secretary]

kids au? or better human au? I do not know, but the allies and the axis are reunited with their first love s / o. To which they never managed to confess what they felt and S / o is better than they remembered. Some headcanons of the school time in the past and of the reunion of both.

This is a Hallmark AU (Hallmark is an American channel that has the most romantic, but cheesiest and slightly annoying romance movies. I'm talking like, that one miscommunication that messes up the almost official relationship, despite both the man and woman finally getting along after they tried to dislike each other even though it was painfully obvious they liked each other). But yeah, this would be a Human AU lol.

Allies an Axis reconnect with S/O!

Allies:

America:

His heart and body stopped dead on the college campus.

Standing in front of him was S/O. Someone he hasn't seen in years.

They had moved away the day he was going to admit his feelings to them.

He remembers the times they ran across the road they lived in, and played underneath a tree in the field.

He remembered the one time they cut open their knee, and he had to carry them back home. Even though they could still walk, he wanted to be their hero.

Time skip back to the present, they were back!

He ran to them full speed, and hugged them, telling them how much they missed them, and how much he loved them.

"Alfred? Alfie!?"

He sputtered as he realized what he had admitted too, and hearing the childhood nickname brought blush to his face.

His S/O smiled and pulled him in, repeating his vows of affection.

England:

He scoffed at the group of people who were being a bit too rowdy in the town library.

He eventually had enough and was about to ask them to tone it down when he caught sight of a familiar face.

His S/O was standing in a group of their friends. Their happy aura making them twice as lovely as they were the day the had to go back to their hometown. Supposedly to help an old friend.

It seemed that even back then they spent most of their time reading the worst rated books to each other.

Joining all the little craft fairs the librarians held at the establishment. He still has the bracelet S/O made him.

He had to swallow the lump in his throat. Eyes eventually locking.

S/O had excused themselves from their group, and immediately ran to him, hesitating to hug him.

Arthur stopped them from doing so, and for some reason did the most cheesiest thing. He kissed the knuckles to their hand. No turning back now.

He complimented them, saying they looked just as beautiful they day he wanted to admit his feelings to them.

He was lucky they felt the same.

France:

He spent his whole college career trying to make it into the modeling industry.

He had books and books of clothing designs to submit, but all had failed. And he was left working as a barista in some shady coffee shop.

He sighed as he heard the bell ding, a new customer who would probably complain about the mucky drinks.

But as he turned he was immediately taken back to the day his S/O first moved to town.

They lived across the street from him, and his S/O had turned around seeing him standing on the sidewalk, getting the mail.

They had both shyly waved to each other, and for a few days Francis left them small gifts, too shy to talk to them face to face, and never able to tell them his feelings.

But now, they're standing in front of him.

They hadn't recognized them, but he was so lost in thought the only thing he could manage was to wave at them

That waved must have rang a bell Because his S/O went "Wait- Are you the kid from across the street? The one who left me like, a pink paper airplane on my porch?"

His face went 50 shades of red as he started spitting out excuses and apologies.

After taking his order, he noticed they left their receipt behind. And a cell number.

China:

Balance. Focus. Deep breathing.

All things Yào had for his martial arts training in the park. He was working on his Tai chi when some stranger's dog had ran under his legs, knocking him over.

All he could hear was someone apologizing, finally getting control of their dog.

He shot up to yell at the stranger but something stopped him.

The stranger looked painfully familiar, so once introductions were made, it dawned on him.

It was S/O. The two of them use to hide away from the other kids in grade school. He was the only asian in their class so he got picked on by everyone but S/O.

They had found an abandoned shack in the woods and they cleaned it up, making it their own. A base to go to when they were troubled.

Yào cracked a smile at them, and teased them about how he use to have a crush on them, a way to see how they felt.

He couldn't stop the blush that came with S/O admitting to crushing back at him.

Russia:

He had met his S/O in his second year of College. It was unexpected.

They had came into the school year almost half way through so they seemed extremely lost.

Knowing how akward and hard it was to be in that situation he built up the courage to try and talk to them.

"E-excuse me. Do you need the- to be- shown round school?"

His broken english wasn't as bad as it once was, but his nerves caught up to him. Even hearing S/O laugh made his heart flutter.

He was surprised when it wasn't at him, and when they said yes- his stomach was doing backflips.

That was then, this is now. He had to go back to Russia, and they had said their goodbyes, thinking they'd never see each other again.

But after a year or so he decided to move back to America. Back to the town that gave him so much.

He'd be lying if he wasn't hoping to meet his S/O and maybe, just maybe, admit to what he felt.

He already knew S/O wanted to work at a certain place in town, so when he got the chance he went straight there.

To his sadness though, they weren't there. Nor did they ever work there.

Passing by the campus he was surprised at what he saw.

They were still in college?

Turns out a few class credits from high school didn't take, so they were slowly working on earning them back.

But the reunion was a welcomed one. Both had run into each other's arms at the sight. Ivan immediately showing confidence and asking if they were dating anyone.

"No, why?"

"Well, now you can be dating! Me, da?"

The smile his S/O was all he needed for a yes.

Axis:

Germany:

His college days were long behind him, including his dating days.

They were on his mind often, and even though he never told S/O how he felt, in his heart the time they spent together was all he needed to satisfy him.

That was until one day someone called his construction company to help get a roof fixed.

There was something about their voice that sent an odd, familiar sensation down his spine.

Curiosity getting the better of him, he went to the site himself.

The person who opened the door was S/O

The same person who helped him bring Feli to the nurse's office when he was "accidentally" pushed down some stairs.

They helped Luddy calm his anger and nerves over the days Feli had to recover from a fractured ankle and a broken finger.

Now he stood at the door, just as pleasantly stunned as S/O.

They hit it off like they weren't apart the last 5 years.

Japan:

His heart sank the day his parents were rejected the ability to go to America.

The day they were supposed to fly in, was the day someone in an office lost track of some documents. Preventing them from even getting a green light to even go.

Even with the sad news, it wasn't going to stop him. He made all the calls he could, and decided to take a break after two hours.

Walking through town he soon spotted someone working outside at a cafe.

It was an old friend of his. It was S/O.

He wasn't planning on eating just yet, but he had to know for sure if it was them.

Years ago they had ran into him, more literally than metaphorically, and since then they would hang out when they could.

One specific memory was during high school, and they decided to play tennis. He couldn't help but laugh as his S/O got the ball stuck in the fencing more than once.

Sitting down, he waited for someone to take his orders.

To his surprise his waiter was S/O, who recognized him off the bat.

Deciding to take their break early, they got them and Kiku their desired food, and chatted.

Before going back in the clock, Kiku had asked them when they could talk next.

His S/O gave a day and address, and said "So it's a date then?"

Kiku could do nothing but blush and nod, maybe a bit more agressively than he wanted too.

Italy:

Deep breaths. One step at a time, he tells himself. The very first day of middle school.

He was always a really shy kid, especially at school.

He can be a bit loud at times but he's really a gentle soul with a heart of gold

Sometimes, even in your own country, that can get you looked down upon. Sometimes it just takes someone from the outside to remember there's more on the horizon.

He first met his S/O (a transfer student for the next couple years) the first day school started. He was already too nervous, but his S/O saw the amount of alone time he has, minus his brother being near by, and decided to try and make friends.

The conversation went okay, the language barrier being a slight set back, but the more they hung out, the easier both of their languages became. By the time his S/O left, they were pretty fluent and Bilingual.

It's been almost years since then, but he spotted his S/I, ironically, the first day of College.

They were unmistakable from their signature laugh, and Feli had gained a lot of courage talking to people since he met them.

Tapping them on their shoulder, an odd wave of giddiness filled him. What he once thought was happiness from having a friend, he now recognizes as love.

It took him a few weeks, but he eventually asked them out, and the beating in his chest filled his ears as they said yes.

Thank you so much to the Anon who spotted the fact Italy was forgotten! Thank you~!

[mrsmaybank]

Gas Station Girl - Spencer Reid x Reader - CH 3

Spencer Reid’s first impression of the Reader is mixed. She’s “audacious, promiscuous, clever, and troubled.” and there is so many things Spencer would like to do about it.

CHAPTER ONE HERE

CHAPTER TWO HERE

A/N:I’m writing a Spencer Reid x Reader multific! The series will be intense and 18+. Age gaps, Explicit sexual content (dom/sub dynamics/kinks), angst, family issues, dark themes including: violence, suicide, murder, death, blood, and drug use and addiction. (Chapters will of course have trigger warnings depending on the content) HIGHLY recommend you listen to the playlist as you read! 

A/N2: This chapter is the most wholesome one in the whole series! Other then the kinky smut LMAO. No for real though, this is as fluffy as it gets. Next chapter gets um... well you’ll see! 

TW: Language, Age gap, use of ‘Little Girl’ as pet name, explicit sexual content (light degradation & unprotected sex), mentions of death, smoking weed, mentions of violence

Fic Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4WYosdR6Tz4y9lsmUghoMU?si=ZvyS_2oqSDW95PxULRs2fQ

The seconds of ignorant bliss after opening your eyes for the first time since a night of horrible decisions didn’t last as long for Y/N anymore. Pains and aches serving a reminder of all the apologies that were owed from her. Instant dread and distaste for confrontation swirled in her stomach. Ah but she deserved it all. The night was blurry, but from recollection, it was only Teddy. He’d dropped her off home, she remembered that. From where? Who knows, but it probably didn’t matter. Teddy’s services didn’t really warrant (nor did Teddy want) a heartfelt, apologetic phone call she decided. Instead a simple, “thx��� text sufficed.

She stepped out of her room, pleased with the sight of her roommate rolling a joint on the kitchen table. “Good fucking morning.”  she meant it. The weed would ease the sting of the bruises and busted lip.  

“Morning.” Kena said, licking the joint to seal its precious contents. “What the fuck happened to you last night?” making a face of amusement.

The friends bursted out in laughter in unison.

“Got my ass beat.” Y/N started telling the story as Kena lit the j. “Remember ‘Record Shop’ Dude’?”

“Do I remember? You guys fucked for like a week straight. Thought you guys were gonna get married.” 

“Well,” she couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, “Apparently he has a girlfriend. They’ve been together for three years.” 

Kena passed her the joint laughing, “Apparently.” she watched as her friend inhaled the smoke, “I’ll never understand why you don't fight back every time. I’ve seen your left hook, it’s deathly. It’s like you like getting your ass kicked.” 

Y/N finished the joint, putting it out. “Yeah, I get off. Masochist, remember?” she said in a serious tone. Kena understood the satire of her response. 

“What’re your plans tod-” she was cut off by her phone ringing. She saw the unknown number and smiled putting it on speaker for Kena to hear. “I’m fucking broke!” she shouted as Kena laughed. “You can’t scam me! I don’t have any fucking money to steal!” 

The line went silent and they awaited the confused stutter of some telemarketing con artist. And a confused stutter came. 

“Y/N? It’s Spencer.” he paused, “Spencer Reid?” he paused again. Perhaps she’d forgotten him.  “Dr. Spencer Reid?” 

“I know who you are.”  

Kena looked at her friend in confusion, but she was busy replaying the events of the previous night. Spencer had called Teddy, from the parking lot of a shady...her memory stalled, liquor store. 

“Holy fuck I’m such a piece of garbage.” was the only thing her subconscious could render. 

“I am so fucking sorry. Holy shit. Thank you for last night, dear fuck. I’m sorry about that. And for screaming at you! I didn’t have your number saved.” 

Spencer lightly sighed. She remembered. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?” 

“Uh, great.” she stammered, “I’ve woken up a lot worse.” 

Spencer could hear the slight embarrassment in her voice. “Good, good.” he took a deep breath, “Well I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to lunch? We’ve only ever spoken in parking lots.” 

Kena opened her eyes in delight, mouthing “Yes!”

Y/N couldn’t contain her smile, “I’d like that Dr. Reid. Pick me up at three?” 

“Sure little girl. See you soon.” Spencer hung up and Y/N melted. 

Kena screamed, “You’ve been fucking a doctor?!” 

“No.”  she smiled a devilish grin, “But I’m about to.” she sang, practically skipping with joy back to her room. 

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Spencer hadn’t gotten a good look at the complex in the dark, but now he could see it in its full glory. Beer bottles and cigarette buds littered everywhere, sulky characters loitering at practically every corner, and a reek of marijuana. Not his personal idea of home sweet home. 

He watched as the girl he was waiting for exited from apartment 209, looking just as wild as ever. He wondered if the disheveled look was intentional or if she always looked so crazily hot. His eyes continued to follow as she walked down the steps and into his passenger seat. 

“Hi.” she said, eyes wide and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was blushing. Y/N didn’t seem like the kind of girl to blush. 

“Hey. You look nice.” he started to pull out of the parking space. 

“You don’t have to say that you know. I don’t look nice. I never look nice.” she sighed, “Truthfully I hate the idea of looking nice.” 

Spencer was amused with her little ramble, “Why?” 

“‘Cause nice is what you look like when you’re going to church. Or brunch. And I don’t do either of those.” she said plainly.

“What’s wrong with brunch?” he questioned smiling.  

“Nothing is wrong with brunch.” she paused for a minute, deciding whether or not to tell him all the atrocious memories she had in connection to brunch. He only asked you about fucking brunch. Don’t reveal all your baggage already. Don’t be a dramatic bitch. Just say your vegan or some bullshi-

“What are you contemplating on telling me?” 

Her mouth gaped playfully. “Fucking cut the profiling! Three minutes in and you’re already doing your weird government shit.” she remarked, teasingly defensively. 

Spencer laughed, “Weird government shit? Really?”

“Yeah.” she pursed her lips, “I said what I said.” 

“It’s psychology, not weird government shit. It’s analyzing body language, and speech patterns and-”

“I get it. You’re fucking smart.” They pulled out to a red light. 

“You’re smart too.” 

“Thanks Doctor.” she smiled, it did make her happy to hear that. “So where are you taking me?” 

“You’ll see.”, and see she did. As they got out of the car, Y/N couldn’t stop smiling. At first it was the way Spencer’s hand found hers, but then it was the sight. The restaurant was placed under the biggest trees she’d ever seen, with ivy hanging just a couple feet over her head. It was illuminated with lanterns and tiny hanging lights and she felt like she was in a fairy tale. It was beautiful. 

“Hey Spencer?” 

“Yes?” he said approaching the hostess, “Table for two, Spencer.” His attention shifted back down at her. “This is the prettiest place a boy has ever taken me.”

He smiled, “Yeah? You like it?” The hostess led them to their table and they sat. “A lot.” she giggled and Spencer swore his heart would explode. The sound was just too adorable. 

“So Y/N, where are you from?”

She was a little surprised at the question, almost like nobody had ever asked. Had she ever been on a date? Like a proper sit down date? 

“New York City, originally. But I uh, moved around a lot as a kid.” 

“Tell me about that.” 

“You really wanna know?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he questioned. 

“Okay, fine. I used to live in this beautiful townhouse in Manhattan. I had a pink room with a huge bed and canopy. A gorgeous chandelier, this vanity with all my tiaras, and my dolls! Oh my god, those dolls were so fucking pretty.” he listened intently, relishing in the way her eyes lit up in a way he’d never seen. 

“And then my dad died.” the glint of joy in her eyes was gone. “When I was seven. And we moved to West Virginia, living with my grandmother, until she died!” she let out a small laugh in attempts to keep the mood up. “Then we were living in this mobile park, which wasn’t so bad. Creeps and meth-heads came and went, but overall not a horrible place to grow up. It’s where I met Teddy, you know him.” 

He nodded his head, still listening to every detail of the story. 

“After my mom got remarried, him and I decided we wanted to go to California. This was supposed to just be a pitstop, get our shit together, you know? But we had a falling out, and he went without me. Came back when his brother got cancer. Then after Casey died he came back to D.C, got me to enroll in school with him And uh, now I’m here. I go to Washington Uni, by the way. Major in Journalism.” she ended shyly. 

“I’m sorry about your dad. And your grandma. That’s a story.” 

She nodded her head. “Its okay. Better place, you know?” How about you?” 

“Well, uh, I’m from Las Vegas. It’s been just me and my mom for a while.  My childhood was a little weird, graduated high school when I was twelve, then I-” 

“Hold the fuck up, twelve?” he nodded. “Holy shit. You’re one of those freakishly smart prodigy motherfuckers aren’t you?” 

He laughed, “IQ of 187, not to brag.” 

“Oh fuck you, you’re totally bragging.”

“You got into Washington, you did well in school too.” 

“Yeah uh, despite the shitty childhood school wasn’t really ever an issue. My dad was a Senator, George Y/L/N, in New York. He had a lot of random contacts. When we moved to West Virginia I got to go to some snobby private school ‘cause his friend was a board member. Saint Matilda Preparatory School. Top of my class.” she smiled, “Not to brag.” 

“You’re definitely bragging.” he teased.

Scoffing, she said, “I didn’t drop my IQ number, so you’re still the gloating one here.” 

“I didn’t think you were a high school drop-out.”                                                “Aw Spencer really?” she said sarcastically. 

There waiter came and took their order, but neither of them really cared about the food. They stayed there talking for longer then the restaurant would’ve liked, telling each other their craziest dreams, wildest experiences, bad decisions, and nothing and everything. Before they knew it, the restaurant was kicking them out. They walked back to Spencer’s car, hysterically laughing at the disdained waiter who had to so awkwardly ask them to order something else or leave, Y/N clinging to his arm. 

“Nobody’s ever done something like this for me before.” Y/N said as Spencer got into the drivers seat. 

“What do you mean?” Spencer turned to face her. 

“Picked me up, taken me to a pretty restaurant, paid, opened doors for me.” her eyes locked in his, “Listened to me talk for so long.”

“I could listen to you talk forever.” he grabbed her face and kissed her. The kiss was nothing like he’d expected. It wasn’t an aggressive make-out fired by lust, it was a kiss of passion and dear affection. 

They began to drive in silence. Not uncomfortable Awkward silence, more like enjoying each other's company silence. That is until Y/N did something Spencer should’ve seen coming as this was the same girl he’d met at the gas station. Her hands were inching their way up his leg to his crotch, teasingly slow. She scanned his eyes for some note to stop, but it never came. She palmed him gently through his pants, watching him struggle to keep his eyes on the road, as he twitched under her touch. “Fuck.” he sighed out quietly, “Stop.”

“Take your shoes off, get in the backseat.” he turned off the main road, driving down a more secluded street until he found a tiny spot almost completely hidden by trees.

“Take your clothes off.” he still hadn’t made eye contact with her since telling her she was smart. She did as she was told, taking off her top and shorts as fast as she could. Spencer got out of the driver's seat and got into the back passenger seat, only the middle seat separating them. “Come here.” obeying, she did. In only a bra and underwear, she crawled into Spencer's fully clothed lap, as he grabbed her face and kissed her. Her barely let her move, wanting to be able to explore her mouth freely, She gasped for air, whispering a small “Oh fuck.”

He tightly gripped her jaw, toying with her bottom lip as he spoke, “You have such a dirty mouth.”

She smiled more poisonously then he’d ever seen, it was mischievous and seductive, and it made him crazy. “What’re you gonna do about it sir?”

Now it was him smiling as the small girl looked up at him with big eyes, “So many things.” He started to kiss her again, this time his hands going down to tease her clothed clit. She moaned into the kiss and rocked her hips down harder into his hand. “Please?” she moaned again.

He moved her panties to the side, sliding a finger through her wetness, “You need something don’t you?” She nodded her head.

“Well, use your words.”

“Touch me.” she got closer in his ear, “Please.”

“What’s with the niceties little girl? You don’t want to be touched, no, Good girls like to be touched. You, you are a desperate little slut, hm?” His fingers dipped into her with no warning, curling immediately, “You want to be destroyed.”

Her hips bucked almost instantly as she cried out, “Yes. I do.”

“Beg for it.”

“Sir,” she opened her eyes to lock with his, “Please.” Spencer continued to curl his fingers while still rubbing her clit, and her moans and breathes got sloppier and louder.

“Please!” she whined. “Please sir.” He couldn’t contain a small laugh, “No.”  

“This is a bit pathetic even for you, no? You’re here naked in my lap begging for me to let you come.” She nodded her head. “Oh but I’m sure you’ve done worse haven’t you love?” She shook her head. As badly as he wanted to lecture her about lying, he could feel her tighten on his fingers. “Can..” she stuttered in between moans, “Can I? Please let me come?”

“Awe, good girl asking for permission.” he pulled his fingers out, “No.”

He slipped his fingers in her mouth and watched as she sucked them off. “Figures you’d be good at that.” he unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants and lied back so the door supported his back. “Come sit on it.”

Her eyes opened in delight as she crawled over and did as she was told. He watched in awe as she sunk herself down onto him, clenching as their thighs met. He let her think she had some control, eyes never leaving her as she bounced and moaned. “You’re such a good girl baby.” He could see her teetering right above the edge, and seeing as he was so close as well, he gave in. “Come for me.” and with that, she did. Practically screaming as he fucked up into her through her orgasm, pulling out and finishing himself.

He hugged her into his chest, whispering small praises and delivering soft kisses to her sweaty forehead. She made small circles with her nails on his arms, “I fucked a doctor!” She giggled. 

Spencer broke out into laughter, “I fucked YOU.” 

“We fucked each other.” They laid there for a moment, Y/N practically melting to the feeling of being in his arms. It was too comforting.  

Eventually, Spencer began driving back to her apartment, loving every moment of her outlandish singing and dancing in his passenger seat until he parked to drop her off. 

“You’re a very special girl.” Spencer said as she smiled.

She took a deep breath, “Spencer, I fucking like you. A lot. I can’t remember the last time I had a good time like this that I wasn’t fucking high or drunk or both.” she continued to ramble, “And I guess what I’m just trying to convey is-” 

She was cut off by Spencer crashing his lips to hers. “I know what you mean.”  

She smiled and gave him one last peck on the lips, “I hope I’ll see you soon Dr.” 

“You will.”

As she walked back up the stairs to her apartment, Y/N only had one thought. How am I gonna manage to fuck this up? 

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Taglist (Comment to be added!):  @generaltheoristexpert @psych0crybaby @areallyusellesblog @arctic-duchess

@chevyimpala00067 @georgia4287 @purpleraindrops @drreidshands @must-be-a-weasley-92 @gabbie-is-sad @willowafsi

[backbackbackagaynbitch]

Delayed Gratification (Sam Winchester x Reader)

Author’s Note: Let it be known that I cannot remember the context of when I wrote this; it’s been at least 4 years. Also, it’s been a while since I posted, but I will continue to put up my old fics here until there are none anymore.

WARNINGS: implied sexual intercourse, lewd language.

---

It was weeks since you left the bunker for a solo hunt, and you were itching to get back. The weeks of travelling without Sam’s company was killing you, and you wanted nothing more than to mount that boy like a stallion and ride him until kingdom come.

The heat in your nether regions wouldn’t seem to subside since you got off the phone with him and hour ago, the bumps on the road and the vibrations of the car only intensifying it.

Fuck, you couldn’t wait to get back to the bunker.

Your thoughts were occupied by Sam and the damn phone call during the three-hour drive back. That man really wanted you to suffer, didn’t he?

“When are you leaving?” he’d asked earlier, voice husky and dripping with lust.

“I’m packing up right now,” you answered, the phone wedged between your shoulder and ear as you went around the hotel room to gather up your stuff. “Why?”

You could almost see Sam’s shrug on the other line. “No reason. Just can’t wait until you get here so I could devour that pretty little pussy of yours.”

His words stopped you in the middle of the room, making you drop the gun you were holding. It landed on your foot and you let out a yelp and a curse at the impact.

“Y/N, what was that? Are you okay?” Sam said as you limped your way to the lumpy bed.

“Yeah, I‘m fine,” you replied, taking the phone off your shoulder and putting it on speaker before plonking it on the bed. “Just dropped a gun on my foot.”

“Are you okay?” Worry replaced the husky undertone of his voice. “Do you want me to come get you?”

“No, no, I’m okay. S’not like I haven’t gotten worse.” You smiled, remembering the countless times one of the brothers had to relocate your shoulder or reset your foot. “Besides,” you tested your foot, flexing it and digging the ball into the floor. Aside from a dull throb there wasn’t much to worry about. “If you want to eat me out, you’re not gonna do it in a crappy room in a shady motel.”

You heard him huff in amusement. “Yeah, you have a point. I want to see you writhing on my bed, gripping the sheets tight in your dainty little hands as I lick up those sweet juices from your cunt.”

The lust-filled voice had returned ten-fold and almost every word he said had caused a shiver up your spine, and suddenly you couldn’t wait to get home.

Ignoring the throbbing in your foot and core (and Sam because if you kept listening to him give a very vivid narration of what he was planning on doing to you, you’d never be able to leave), you quickly gathered all your things and stuffed them haphazardly in your duffel. After saying a rushed goodbye to Sam (while still trying to ignore him), you hung up.

Letting out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, you stuffed your foot back in your shoe and grabbed your stuff, heading out the door way sooner than you’d planned.

And so here you were, an hour into the drive and practically dripping with want. Your knuckles were white on the steering wheel, your grip so tight that you weren’t sure if you could remove them when you got back.

It was so unfair of Sam. He knew you were basically powerless against him when he talked to you like that, voice all husky and gravelly, like all he ever wanted was to eat you up.

Damn. This was bad. You had to get back to the bunker or you’ll implode.

***

Sam smirked at his phone, knowing you were on your way to the bunker right now. He knew you couldn’t resist him when he started talking dirty to you. And when he heard you get off the bed he just continued, all the while listening to you finish packing up. He couldn’t even get a word in when you bade him goodbye. But he could tell by your clipped voice and slightly labored breathing that you were red in the face, jittery, and very turned on.

So Sam sat back against the headboard, biding his time as he waited for you to burst through the door of your shared bedroom and start clawing off his and your clothes.

And god knew he needed to feel you again—feel your perfect curves that molded against his rough edges exquisitely, your soft skin warm under his plundering mouth, your red lips wrapped beautifully around his cock.

God. He couldn’t help but palm rapidly stiffening cock at the mere thought of you sucking him off.

He edged himself, brought himself close to the brink with the image of you. Sam could hear your moans, the sweet sounds you made every time you took him in your mouth, like you would not rather do anything else.

Sam’s grip tightened oh so slightly on his cock, making him let out a punched-out groan and release onto his stomach, the white of his come stark against his tanned skin.

He lay there for a while, daring to think about the possibility of you suddenly barging in and seeing him sprawled out on his bed and spent. Sam counted a number of ways the situation could go from there.

After a few more moments of catching his breath and staring at the ceiling, he finally got up and pulled his sweat pants completely off, using them to wipe away the sticky come on him.

Sam checked the clock on the table by the bed—two or so more hours until you got there. It gave Sam more than enough time to shower and get some rest because he knew he’d be needing it with what he had planned for you.

***

You slammed the door to your truck closed the minute you had it parked in the bunker’s garage. You even almost tripped on your way out in your haste to get your bag out of the passenger seat.

On the way to your room you realized you should probably pace yourself before getting in there. Knowing Sam you’d be in for one hell of a ride, especially because you two have been apart for so long. Too long. Way too long.

You were jittery, unfocused, and completely aroused; the whole ride home you kept thinking of Sam.

Sam peppering open-mouthed kisses along your jaw.

Sam sucking on your pulse point and leaving a dark, throbbing bruise.

Sam trailing his lips in the valley of your breasts, going lower and lower and lower…

Goddamn it. You swayed and pressed a hand to the wall beside you, using it to anchor yourself back to reality, spurring you to continue your journey.

The bedroom was only a few feet away, and a mix of excitement and nervousness attacked you, stopping you in your tracks.

Not for long, though.

The next thing you knew you were opening the door to your room, and being assaulted by Sam’s lips on yours.

Immediately you sank into him, wincing your arms around his neck and tangling your fingers in his hair, your duffel bag forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Without missing a beat, Sam gripped your thighs with his massive hands and hoisted you up, cradling you tightly against him. He didn’t break the kiss, only deepened it, thrusting his tongue against yours and rubbing the roof of your mouth with it.

He ripped moans from your throat with his intensity, pressed bruises into your skin from the tight grip he had on you. And you expect you were doing the same to him, dragging groans out of his mouth, sending tingles down his spine with every tug of his hair tangled around your fingers…

God, how did you live before Sam Winchester?

He turned and walked to the bed, prompting you to cross your legs at his back, but then immediately letting go of him when you were unceremoniously dropped on the bed.

You finally got a good look at this Adonis, who you were sure was going to give you so much pleasure, and demand the same in return.

[verai-marcel]

Beautiful Red

(This is a short story I wrote in March 2017. End notes are from back then as well.)

-------------------

The phone rang loud in Suri's apartment. She picked up her cell and looked at the number.

"Mom?"

She hit the answer button. "Hello?" "Suri, come to the hospital on Fifth and Trevor street. Your grandma fell."

Shocked, she could only stutter as she quickly grabbed her purse and left to drive quickly to the hospital her mother spoke of, while getting the details from her on the way.

"Is she okay?" "Clearly not." "I meant, will she get better?" "Yes, but it will take some time. She will need to use a cane for a while." "What happened?" "She twisted her ankle while she was doing some garden work outside. The doctor is taking x-rays now to make sure that no bones are broken."

Suri reached the hospital, parked, and walked inside.

"I'm here, I'll find you shortly." She hung up and found the room her mother had told her, and they waited. And waited.

Finally the doctor arrived, pushing Suri's grandma in a wheelchair.

"Shadi has no broken bones, but she will have to stay here for a week before we can let her go home. After that, she will have to be more careful around the house and restrict any strenuous physical activity for another few weeks."

"See Natasha? I said I would be alright," Shadi said to Suri's mother. "You're such a worrywart, like your father." She slowly transferred into the bed and lay down, getting settled as if she were at home.

The doctor gave his final notes and left them to check on other patients. Silence filled the room for a few minutes.

"Please Mother, come live with me. It's dangerous to live out in the woods all by yourself." "I've been fine all this time, this was just a little fall. Just a few more years." "You said that a few years ago! Mother, you have to face the fact that you're old, and it's difficult for us to look after you if you're 2 hours away in the middle of nowhere!"

Shadi was quiet for a little while. Then she finally said, "I'll think about it. That's all I promise." "Better than nothing," Natasha said tersely.

Then Shadi looked at Suri. "Suri, child, can you house sit, just for the week? You can help eat the food before it spoils. But I understand if you can't take time off work." Suri smiled. "It's okay Grandma," she said. "I work with a computer. I can work anywhere." She didn't bother trying to explain the exact nature of her web design job; her grandma didn't even own a cell phone, let alone a computer.

Shadi nodded, not quite understanding, but grateful anyway. "Thank you. Just remember to water the plants on Wednesday."

Suri nodded. "No problem." She stood up and grabbed her purse. "Guess I'll head out then. I'll call you when I get there, Mom."

"Be careful! The woods are dangerous at night. Keep all the windows and doors locked!"

Rolling her eyes, Suri just replied "Yes Mom" as she left.

***

Suri looked over her suitcase one last time. She had enough clothes for a week, toiletries, her laptop and accessories, and most importantly, her tablet for reading. She was prepared to work comfortably out in the forest for a week, and hoped she could get more done out in the quiet than she could here in the city. Closing up her suitcase, she gathered her things, packed them into the trunk of her beat up yet trusty Cavalier and drove off to her grandmother's house.

Two hours later, she arrived after traversing a very long and windy mountain road to reach a small cottage out in the middle of the forest. Only one small dirt road led up to her grandmother's house, and very rarely did she get visitors other than Suri & Natasha. Looking at her phone, Suri breathed a sigh of relief as she saw that she had three bars. There must be a cell phone tower nearby, probably on the peak in the distance, she thought.

She lugged her suitcase up the porch stairs, opened the door with the key her grandma gave her, and turned on the light. Or tried to. She flipped the switch a couple of times before realizing that the power was out. She turned on the flashlight app on her phone and got her gear into the living room, and then went out the back door to find the basement.

Turning the corner, she found the basement doors and unlocked the padlock. Pulling with most of her strength, she lifted the heavy doors up and went inside to find the fuse box.

"Dammit, I was hoping this wasn't the case." She turned the power off and started to go through the circuit list, and while reading instructions on her phone about how to reset breakers, she quickly fixed what she needed to and turned the power back on. The overhead light in the basement flickered to life, and she sighed. "Thank goodness," she breathed, turning to leave.

Then she stopped. In the entrance of basement stood a very large canine. Hoping it was a dog, Suri stood still and barely breathed. "Here doggy?" she whispered, scared that it wasn't a dog. It was far too big.

The canine tilted its head, then slowly stepped forward into the light. It looked like an Alaskan Malamute, but slightly bigger. Suri couldn't be sure, but she was familiar with her friend's malamute, and it looked a bit similar. She took a chance, since she knew running was useless at this close of a range.

She held her hand out, angled her body slightly away from the dog without taking her eyes off of it completely, and let it come to her.

Sniffing the air, the dog snarled a bit before walking straight up to her and shoving its nose right into her hand.

Suri took a deep breath and finally looked down at the dog. It was looking up at her with an intense stare.

"Are we cool?" she asked tentatively, knowing that the dog couldn't understand her.

The dog snuffled at her, and licked her hand.

"I guess we're cool," she said, relaxing a bit. She slowly knelt down and started to pet the dog. It just wagged his tail its tail happily, all the while staring at her.

"I gotta go, buddy. Let's get out of the basement." She got up and started to leave, and noticed that the dog shadowed her movements, all the way out of the basement, and back to the house.

Raising an eyebrow at the dog, who was patiently waiting at the door as if it wanted to go in, and had done this before, Suri decided to call her mom.

"Hey mom? Are you still with grandma? Yeah? Can I talk to her for a second?"

Suri waited for a few moments while her mom gave the phone to her grandma. "What is it, child?" "Do you own a dog? There's one here, and it looks like it wants to go inside, like its been here before." "Oh, that's Rafe. Let him in, he's fine. He's a silly one, he'll eat at the table like a human, so just put a plate of meat and a bowl of water on the table for him. You'll know where he sits. His food is in the fridge in a box with his name on it." "Oh. Alright. Anything else you want to tell me about house sitting?" "No, that's it. Rafe is very independent, he'll come and go as he pleases, but he'll always come back at dusk to eat and sleep. He sleeps wherever, so just let him be. You can't move him once he's chosen a spot." "Alright Grandma. I'm going to try and get some work done before I sleep, so I'll talk to you later." "Good night, dearest."

Suri hung up and sighed. She didn't know dog sitting was part of this deal. But free food, especially her grandma's leftovers, was absolutely worth it. Not that she wasn't a shabby cook, but if she could get food for free, then why not stay and house sit? Or in this case, also dog sit.

She opened the door and Rafe walked straight in and hopped into a chair on the far side of the table. It was the only corner of the table with a large plastic place-mat, and a bowl and a plate were set out.

"Jeez, I get the idea." Suri opened the fridge and pulled out a box labeled "Rafe" and opened it. "This looks like human food, buddy."

Rafe woofed quietly.

"So... you eat this?"

Woof.

Suri just shrugged, and scooped up some of the food into his plate. Then she took his bowl and filled it up with water, and set it down in front of him. She sat opposite the dog and watched him eat. At first he didn't notice her, but when he did, he stopped for a moment to look back at her.

"Don't mind me. I'm not hungry. You go ahead and eat."

Rafe growled, and started nudging his plate to her with his nose.

"Wow, typical male. Alright, I'll go find a bit of food and eat with you, okay?"

Rafe woofed once, and then started eating again.

"Bizarre, it's like you understand me or something. Or I'm already having cabin fever and it's only been an hour since I got here."

Suri ate a bit of rice pilaf, washed up, and brought her things upstairs to the guest room where she and her mother had always stayed when they came out to visit. She had just started to get ready for bed, when she heard Rafe howling.

"Oh my god, he better not be like this all night," she grumbled as she headed downstairs. She saw him at the front door, pawing at the door knob.

"What, you want out?" She opened the door, but Rafe just stood there and stared at her, like she had forgotten something. She closed the door and started to walk away, but Rafe gently bit her shirt and pulled her back.

"What?"

He pawed the door knob again.

It suddenly clicked. "Oh, you want me to lock it?" She locked the door and the deadbolt above it. Satisfied, Rafe started walking towards the back door, looking back as he went to make sure she was following him. She locked the back door too.

"There, you happy?" Rafe looked up at her and grinned a doggy grin, tongue hanging out and all.

Suri smiled. She couldn't help growing fond of the big dog. She knelt down and hugged him. "You're so cute, smile for me more often, okay?" Rafe pulled back and licked her nose, making Suri wrinkle it and grin.

She let him go and went upstairs, Rafe following her like a shadow. He went into the room with her and hunkered down on the large rug in front of the bed. He watched her sort out her things, but when she started to take off her clothes, she noticed he covered his face with his paws, and looked away. Curious, she walked around to the other side of him, and he turned his head the other way, his paws still over his eyes.

Suri let out an amused chuckle. "That's a first. A dog who understands human modesty. Well thank you, Rafe." She patted the dog on the head before going into the bathroom to clean up for bed.

Once she was done, she plopped onto the bed and sighed contentedly. She had missed this place. Thinking back to her many visits as a child, she grinned and curled up onto the big bed. Soon after, she felt Rafe hop onto the bed and curl up next to her.

"Wow, you're pretty forward, doggy." She reached out to scratch his head. "G'night." Woof.

***

Three days passed in an almost idyllic way. Suri got more work done than she had expected, and tethering her laptop to her phone, sent the finished product to her client, who, pleased with her progress, paid her immediately and referred her to another client, who was out of the office for the rest of the week and would get back to her about a new project when she returned. That meant that Suri had the next four days off, to read and relax. Or she could work on getting more clients, which she started doing in the morning.

But by afternoon, she was bored, and started to read books on her tablet. Her guilty pleasure, paranormal romance, where impossible things happened to normal girls, big beefy guys with supernatural powers would devote themselves wholeheartedly to plain Jane women. Suri could relate. Her past relationships had all been boring, tepid romances where the men quickly got bored with her after they realized she wasn't some exotic bimbo that they could coax into bed. That, and her lack of experience made her pretty boring in the sheets, and she knew it. She had been told that several times, and while she didn't always agree with why a man broke up with her, she could at least agree that she lacked the passion. But how could she have any passion for those men? They were all boring. And she knew she had impossible standards, that's why she bothered dating below them. But in the end, she was unsatisfied, and it showed in her lackluster relationships. She was aware that she was rather impossible to please, and had resigned herself to a life of solitude and being an old maid. She had even taken up knitting the previous year as a joke to her friends, but she actually ended up enjoying it a lot.

Lost in her books, she didn't realize it had become night as she heard Rafe howling at her back door. Coming down the stairs, she stopped when she saw an armed robber, clearly waving a knife menacingly at her dog, who was growling and trying to snap at the man's legs. He finally push kicked Rafe away, and Suri could only watch as the dog tumbled into another room and out of her sight.

"Rafe!"

The robber's attention switched to her, and he began to stalk towards her. She immediately began backing up towards the kitchen, hoping to pick up something to defend herself. She didn't want to take her eyes off the man, but running backwards wasn't doing her any favors either. She finally turned to sprint away, and she could tell the man was about pounce on her. Her legs tensed, her arms reached out-

And she heard the man yelp. She spared a glance behind her and suddenly stopped. A large naked bear of a man had the robber in a choke hold, and she just watched as he was slowly subdued, his air running out, and finally passed out. The naked man dropped the robber on the floor, and slowly looked up at her. Putting her hand over her mouth to keep herself from screaming, she started to back up again towards the kitchen.

"Suri."

She stopped. "Do I know you?"

The man slowly walked towards her, and she began trembling uncontrollably. This man was all muscle, and there was no getting away fast enough. She wasn't in terrible shape, but she knew when she was physically outclassed. As he reached her, he slowly lifted a hand to her face, gently brushing her hair from her cheek.

"You know me, Suri. We've been sharing a bed for the past three nights."

She blinked. Her mind could not, would not accept what he just said. But her heart wanted to believe.

"...Rafe?"

His bright white smile contrasted with his coffee colored skin and his dark, wavy hair that fell around his piercing grey eyes.

Suri lifted her hands to Rafe's chest, touching him to make sure she wasn't hallucinating. She lifted her arms and ran her hands through the thick waves, familiarity running through her senses.

Rafe gently took hold of her hands and stepped out of her reach. "I need to tie up the criminal and leave him by the main road. Lock the door behind me. Then stay upstairs and wait for me. There's a metal baseball bat in Grandma's closet on the left side."

He was met with a silent nod, and he watched as she made her way upstairs quickly. Once she was out of sight, he found the rope and duct tape in the coat closet and securely tied up the burglar, put tape over his mouth, and hauled the man outside. He looked up to see if Suri was looking outside; she was not. He stretched, and his human form extended and grew fur, and he shifted into his wolf-man form. Tucking the tied up man under one arm, he loped out quickly to the main road, dropped the man off, and loped back to the house.

Rafe shifted back as he approached the porch, and noticed that Suri was standing in the doorway, silhouetted by the light, a baseball bat over one shoulder.

"I thought I told you to wait for me upstairs."

"I saw you coming."

He paused. He didn't want to let her see all of him tonight. Well, he supposed she had technically seen all of him, but only in his human form.

Suri put the bat down and walked up to him. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed.

"Let's talk, Rafe."

He nodded and followed her as she led him inside. They talked. He told her about how he was cursed by a shaman long ago, how her grandma had been trying to find a way to break his curse while he worked for her as protector, gardener, and personal aide. She took it all in, not interrupting, just accepting his words.

At the end of his tale, he looked at her.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and stood up. He watched.

"Let's go to bed. We'll deal with this in the morning."

She started upstairs, and when Rafe didn't follow, she turned and held her hand out.

"I've gotten used to sleeping with you beside me. Or do you not want to anymore?"

Rafe smiled and got up to follow her.

"I do. Let's sleep. We'll figure things out tomorrow."

And they did.

------------------------------- Ugh, this is not quite how I wanted to end this, but I wrote this so long ago that I kind of forgot what the end goal was...

[Suri = Red Rose]

[let-it-raines]

Rising from the Ashes (20/21)

When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be.

And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones.

As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be.

Rating: Mature

A/N: So, friends, this is the penultimate chapter! The next chapter is the epilogue with all of the happiness that this family deserves, so be looking out for that one! I’ll post when everyone has had some time to read this one! 💙

A special shoutout to @shady-swan-jones for prompting me this story back in November. I was going to write a one shot, never could figure out how to do it, and then posted the introduction to the one shot so I could encourage myself to keep writing it. Another shoutout to @wellhellotragic for helping me formulate ideas and for making sure everything made sense and another one for @bmbbcs4evr because she literally messages me after every chapter with detailed notes that point out little things that I figured no one would notice and flails over something that’s super angsty. And thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke for simply being herself 😊

This has been such a difficult story to write, but I’ve really, truly enjoyed getting to put my heart into crafting it. 

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

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Tag list: @ultraluckycatnd @jamif @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @resident-of-storybrooke @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @ekr032-blog-blog @mayquita @bmbbcs4evr @pirateherokillian @wellhellotragic @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @shady-swan-jones @snow-into-ash @andiirivera @mariakov81 @shireness-says @kristi555 @facesiousbutton82 @superchocovian @jonirobinson64 @snowbellewells @thejollyroger-writer @tiganasummertree @idristardis @blowmiakisscolin

-/-

“Hey, Ems,” Neal smiles, looking for all the world like he belongs in this house while suddenly the place where she once felt safest no longer feels secure. Her heartbeat has picked up by a solid twenty seven more beats per minute, and her legs seem like flimsy toothpicks beneath her as she places her hand against Henry’s shoulder, the warmth of Killian’s hand on her back the only thing that seems not to be freezing her out.

She’s dreaming. She has to be dreaming. There’s no other explanation for any of this. She’s going to wake up in thirty seconds and Killian’s arms are going to be wrapped around her and the man who abandoned her isn’t going to be holding her daughter in the way that he never held his son.

Vomit makes its way up her throat, but she swallows it down and closes her eyes as she attempts to take one deep breath after another. The tension is practically rolling off of Killian, but he’s the ones who brushes by her first, quickly heading into the living room and pulling Neal into a hug only to come out with Ada held securely in his arms.

Good.

Okay, good.

That makes her breathe a little more easily, and when Killian nods at her, a soft smile on his face, she takes that as her cue to try to act as naturally as she can. It’s difficult figuring out what that is, especially since even if she didn’t know everything she knew, she would still be pissed at Neal and at their conversation from yesterday. Every bit of that was unacceptable, but she can’t knock the teeth out of his mouth with Henry in here.

She really wants to knock the teeth out of his mouth and possibly break a bone or two.

But she can’t. She can’t do any of that, and it’s so damn unfair. This man has made her love him time and time again, even if it has been in different ways, and then ripped her entire life out from underneath her. All she wants is to scream and yell and work out every bit of anger and resentment, but none of that is possible.

This man is her son’s father, and even if he is a criminal and an undeniable asshole, she cannot degrade him in front of Henry. Not yet. They’re going to have to have that conversation, but no part of her is ready for it.

And she imagines she can’t be ready until someone arrests her ex-husband.

What the fuck is her life?

“You look like a ghost,” Ruby laughs, and Emma blinks in response several times until her vision clears of the blurry tears and Ruby comes into view. She’d forgotten that Ruby was here. How did she forget that? Why didn’t Ruby text her that Neal was here? “Of course, I would too if my ex-husband showed up in my house,” she whispers in Emma’s ear, making her laugh even if she doesn’t know why.

“When did he get here?”

“About five minutes ago.”

She nods, swallowing her gulp again. “Thanks for watching the kids, Rubes. Were they good?”

“They were great. We got ice cream, like I promised, and then we did stop by my house to pick up some paints. They’ve both got a few pieces drying out on the back deck, so make sure to look out there and get them.”

“What’d you paint for me, kid?” she asks Henry, her voice cracking as she tries to smile at him.

“Dinosaurs. Ruby looked them up for me online and drew them for me before I painted them.”

“Well that’s nice of her. Why don’t you thank her before she leaves, okay? I’m going to go say hi to your dad.”

Henry nods before he starts chatting Ruby up like she hasn’t been with her all day. It makes her legitimately smile when she’s having a difficult time keeping control of any of her limbs, but she focuses on the way that Henry is currently happy and Ada is babbling without stopping to Killian as he sits with her on the couch all the while she steps closer to Neal and pretends that he doesn’t make her feel like she’s covered in a layer of un-washable grime.

Unlike Killian, she doesn’t have the wherewithal to give him a hug, so she steps in front of him and straightens her shoulders all the while he smiles down at her. She’s never found his smile creepy until this exact moment. Condescending, sure. Creepy, not at all.

“What are you doing here, Neal?”

“What? A man can’t come and surprise his son?”

“Not without talking about it to me first.”

Neal’s jaw ticks. “He’s my son. I can see him when I want to.”

“That’s not how parenting works when you don’t live in the same house, and you know it. I’m not asking for the world. I’m asking for you to give me a heads up before you show up at my house.”

“Thought you’d be happy to see me.”

Emma laughs, something dark and sadistic, and she has to reign herself in. She will not let Henry see everything right now. At least he’s still talking to Ruby. “Yeah,” she lies, forcing another smile onto her face, “I think you showing up here is the highlight of my day. How is it that you couldn’t make it up here on Friday like you were supposed to and yet you’re here today?”

“Change of plans.”

She clicks her tongue and crosses her arms over her chest before sitting down on the arm of the couch, all of the remaining strength in her body leaving her as the lack of sleep and stress catches up to her. “Well, I’m sure Henry is excited to see you. I’ll order some pizza for dinner, and you guys can watch a movie or something after he finishes his book report.”

God, she doesn’t want to deal with having to do a book report even if it’s for a third grade class.

Life goes on even when hers is falling apart, it seems.

“Dad,” Henry says, coming to stand between them as he bounces up and down on his toes, “I have to show you my room. I got new books. Come on.”

Henry tugs at Neal’s shirt, and Neal smiles before following him up the stairs, his footsteps leaving an imprint on each stair. She doesn’t really want him alone with Henry, but honestly, it’s a relief for the both of them to be out of the room so that she can breathe. Why can she still not breathe?

Leaning down, she props her head between her legs and places her hands on her neck to try to squeeze out the tension that’s remaining there. In muted tones she hears Ruby saying goodbye, her laugh the loudest part about it as she talks to Ada and Killian, and vaguely she realizes that Ruby is saying goodbye to her too. It’s difficult to get her voice to sound normal, to think straight as she hugs Ruby goodbye and promises that she’ll explain everything at work tomorrow.

Except she knows that she’s not going to be at work tomorrow. There’s no way.

As soon as the door clicks behind Ruby, everything becomes a little louder, Ada’s babbling clearer, and she walks into Killian’s side before he even gets the chance to lift his arm. She’s always been able to stand on her own, but sometimes she needs the support. Right now is one of those times. Killian lifts his arm out from between them and wraps it around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him so that she can feel all of his warmth as his lips press against her forehead. She nearly sobs at the feeling.

“It’s okay, love.”

“It’s n-not. How is he here? Why is he here? What are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ll…I think that I’ll text David and let him know that he’s here, and he’ll talk to Graham. They might – Emma, they might not be ready to bring him in yet, and if that’s the case, I need you to act like nothing is wrong. If Neal gets a whiff of anything, if he knows that someone is on to him, I’m sure he has the resources to run.”

“Would he do that?”

“He’s done it before.”

She nods her head against his chest before pulling back and looking directly at Ada. It’s kind of like looking in a mirror, but right now her eyes show more blue than green, and her eyelashes fall darkly against her cheeks like Killian.

“Hey, bug,” she sighs, taking her in her arms and holding her. Her limbs are still shaking, nerves and tiredness winning over determination, but she knows that she has to push through this.

Nothing has ever completely knocked her out before. She can do this. She has to.

The entire night is this odd blur of confusion and anxiety and tenseness that can’t be fixed. Neal is acting like everything is normal, like he didn’t just show up at their house, like he isn’t a liar, like he didn’t try to cut Killian out of Henry’s life. She still doesn’t understand any of that. The man left her, left Henry, and yet he came back. Why in the world did he come back when he obviously wanted nothing to do with them? Why does he want something to do with them now, and what is his issue with Killian? If he didn’t care enough to come home, why would he care about Killian’s role in Henry’s life?

The only thing she can think of is jealousy, and that seems like the worst excuse in the world. He didn’t want her or want to be with her, and yet he’s acting like he has some right to the life they used to share.

Neal may not have died, but their old life is dead and buried in the ground far more than six feet under.

Instead of putting Ada to bed in her room, she lets her fall asleep on her chest, the small puffs of air more reassuring than anything, and throughout the night she never takes her eyes off of Henry to make sure that he’s okay. She’s sure that he’s safe, that they’re all safe in here, but her life has been so unpredictable that she can’t help the worry that is continuing to fester in the pit of her stomach as she waits to see just how much longer she’s going to have to live with Neal being back in her house.

When all of this is over, she wants to move. She wants to be away from this place. It has been her home, the place where she’s felt the most secure and the place where she conceived her daughter, but it’s been tainted by everything that’s happened over the past nine months.

Ada turns one in two weeks, and this is not a year that she wants to remember even though it will be inked like a tattoo on her brain for the rest of her life. Hopefully the bright spots will blur away the darkness.

It simply has to.

Neal doesn’t make any odd moves, doesn’t say anything else that is horrifically wrong, and from the outside looking in, he looks like a father who loves his son and loves spending time with his family. For all of the world, and most of the western world does know who they are if they watched the news at some point last year, they are some kind of perfect family who is making the best of a complicated situation. That’s what Neal put on in his interview, what he made everyone including her believe even if she’s never been under the impression of anyone being perfect, and now she wonders what parts of her life are still true.

Killian is true. He may have withheld things from her, and they may have their issues, but he’s real. And he’s not going to abandon her. Of that she is completely and totally sure.

Her children are true, her brother, her mom. She needs to call her mom and tell her that she loves her and thank her for helping to give Emma so many good parts of her life. No part of her would be the same with Ruth having adopted her, and even if it’s a shitstorm right now, it’s still good.

She has to have hope that it’s going to get better too.

“Alright, time to go to bed,” Killian yawns when the Lego Movie ends, their thousandth viewing of it finally over.

Henry groans and throws his head back against the couch. “Seriously?”

“Aye, you’ve got school in the morning, and I imagine that Mary Margaret won’t be too happy if you’re sleeping through one of her lessons.”

“I’ve done that before.”

Killian laughs at the same time that she does, and for the briefest of moments, everything feels normal again, especially when Henry slides down the couch cushions and is basically a noodle for forty five seconds until Neal scoops him up from the couch, standing him on his feet and placing his hand on his shoulders.

“I’ll put him to bed.”

“Thanks,” she says with a forced smile. How can he be acting so normally when everything is not normal? How has he spent nearly this entire time like that with only a few slip ups? “Goodnight, kid. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

She watches as Henry and Neal make their way up the stairs, the two of them peas in a pod, and her heart sinks again at absolutely everything. Henry is a smart kid. He’s going to understand a lot of the fallout of everything that’s inevitably going to happen, but he’s also still eight years old. There are a lot of things he’s not going to understand right now, but he’s going to understand them one day. The repercussions are going to follow him forever.

Can they still get that group rate on family therapy sessions?

Her sadistic jokes have got to stop.

Emma adjusts Ada on her shoulder, wondering when in the world she got so heavy, and carefully stands to join Killian in the kitchen where he’s putting away the leftover slices of pizza in a Tupperware container, neatly sliding it into its spot in the refrigerator before his phone chimes.

“Who’s that?”

He doesn’t answer, but she watches as his brows pinch together and the lines on his forehead all focus in on one area as the skin at his jaw convulses, Killian very obviously frustrated and focused.

She runs her hand over Ada’s back and takes a step closer to Killian. “Babe, what is it?”

“David says that Graham and some of his coworkers are going to come to the house to arrest Neal so they can question him.”

“What?”

“They’re – they want to move ahead with the investigation, to stop losing money on manpower. Apparently after talking to you they realized they weren’t going to learn anything new without Neal, and they’re willing to offer him some kind of fucking deal.”

Her heart is never going to take up residence in her chest again. It’s permanently going to live in the pit of her stomach and never return to its normal beating within her chest. At least it’s still beating because her breath has been escaping her all night.

“Right now?”

“Aye.” Killian nods his head before he drops his phone onto the countertop, the clanking loud against the marble, and he steps forward to wrap his arms around she and Ada, pulling her as flush against his chest as he can with their daughter in between them. She doesn’t even realize that she’s shivering until Killian rubs his hand up her back. He’s always doing that, and she needs him to never stop. “Take Ada upstairs, darling,” he whispers in her ear so that the warmth of his lips press into her skin and his beard scratches her. “Put her to bed and make sure that Neal is finished getting Henry to go to sleep. Our kids are going to be in bed when this happens, and when they wake up in the morning, nothing is going to be different for them, okay?”

“How do we tell Henry about any of this?”

“We’ll figure that out later. He doesn’t need to know right now. We won’t tell him until we have to.”

She nods her head against Killian’s neck and presses her lips against his collarbone. His arms fall from around her, and she moves toward the staircase to take Ada upstairs, hoping that she doesn’t wake up when Emma places her in her crib. She stirs a bit, but mostly she’s able to put Ada down without any fuss. She’s always loved this nursery, loved the calming neutral colors and decorations, and even though Ada spent most of her time in her bassinet in their bedroom, Emma can’t begin to count the hours that she spent in here nursing or reading Ada to sleep. Her baby is so full of innocence, of light, and she wishes for all the world that she could give that same innocence to Henry.

“I love you, bug,” she whispers to Ada, leaning down and brushing her lips against her forehead before pushing her hair back.

Swallowing the emotion in her throat, she walks out of the nursery and sees Neal closing Henry’s door. It’s something she grew used to in his time living here, and if she closes her eyes, it’ll be just like it was then. Neal will have read Henry one of his books, told him he loved him, and there would be no underlying history of betrayal. It would simply be a father loving his son.

But it’s not that. How can it be?

“Is he asleep?” she questions, trying not to let anything slip past that shouldn’t while she messes with the pendant on her neck, needing something to do with her hands once more.

“Out like a light. He kept talking about his goal from yesterday.”

“It was a good one.”

“So I’ve gathered.”

“Do you have tomorrow off of work too? When are you going home?”

Neal smiles and takes a step closer to her. She instinctively wants to take a step back, but she doesn’t. She holds her ground. “Why? You trying to get rid of me already?”

“Never. I’m glad you’re here for Henry.”

(Always. You’re a bastard, she wants to say.)

“I felt bad cancelling on him. You have to believe me on that.”

“I do. Let’s – ” she hesitates, turning her head to look back down the hallway toward the stairs, “ – let’s go downstairs. I want you to tell me a little bit more about work.”

Neal quirks a brow and tilts his head to the side, and a shiver runs down her spine in recognition that he’s studying her, that he realizes that something is off. Neal may have lied to her, may have hidden truths of his life, but they were still together for four years. He knows her, and it terrifies her that she’s somehow given something away that she’s not supposed to.

“You want to talk about my work?”

“It’s important to you.”

“Huh. I just thought I’d be in for more of a lashing because of yesterday.”

If only.

“I have nothing more to say about that,” she grits as she turns on her heel and starts to walk away so that she can compose herself. She has a hell of a lot more to say, but really, she knows that it doesn’t matter. Not now. “Come on. I’ll get you something to drink.”

She doesn’t turn around, but she can feel Neal’s heavy presence behind her, a continual hovering that weighs her down over time. That’s how he’s always been, and she’s been too naïve to realize it. It’s how he works, apparently. He’s nice enough, saying and doing all of the right things only to gradually break her down and make her feel worthless. But then he’ll be sweet, do something kind for Henry, and she forgets all of the snide remarks he’s made toward her.

That’s not okay. It never has been.

“Babe,” she calls when she gets to the bottom of the stairs, “will you get Neal some whiskey?”

“Aye.”

Her eyes follow Killian as he reaches up to grab a small glass out of the upper section of the cabinet. His muscles strain under the sleeve of his t-shirt, and her eyes fall to the dark hair that covers his forearms and the veins that lie beneath them. His shirt rises to show his stomach and the strong lines there that dip into his sweatpants. Her limbs are still shaking, goosebumps covering her arms, but Killian is steady. He’s always steady.

Right now she feels so incredibly weak, but really, she knows that she’s rarely had to be this strong.

Slowly but surely Killian pours all three of them glasses of whiskey, the liquid sloshing into the glasses, and when she’s handed hers, it takes everything in her not to gulp it all down so she can feel the harsh burn of it falling down her throat. Her gaze watches her drink move, the slow steadiness of it, and she takes pleasure in the consistent back and forth movement. In the back of her mind, she knows that she, Killian, and Neal are having a conversation. She can hear her words in her own head, hear the forced sound of Killian’s laugh, and then hear the quiet murmuring of Neal’s voice.

Mostly, though, she hears the click on the door as it opens, the crunch of boots as Graham walks into their house with a woman she’s never met following behind him, and she hears Neal cursing and questioning what’s happening before suddenly legal rights are being read over the clink of handcuffs snapping together.

That’s when the muted sounds stop, when everything comes back to full volume, and she listens to the familiar sound of Neal’s voice, the one she only heard in her dreams for eight years, and the unfamiliar sound of Graham’s voice as he continues to explain what’s happening. The woman, Agent Fa apparently, thanks she and Killian for their assistance, tells them that they’ll be able to get more information tomorrow, and then she’s gone too, closing the front door behind her and letting it click into place.

She places her drink on the counter, the whiskey untouched despite her desperate desire to drink it, and it takes one and a half steps for her to fall into Killian and rest her head on his shoulder, burying her nose into his shirt so that she can smell the faintest whiff of the detergent they use. It’s that familiarity, that normalcy of the smell that grounds her as her arms tighten around his stomach and his come to rest on her back again. This time they don’t move, they don’t rub her back to reassure her. They simply stay still, a warm presence when she feels so incredibly cold.

“I love you. I’m so proud of you,” Killian mumbles into her neck, and she nods her head in response as she feels a tear slip from her eye quickly followed by another until she’s uncontrollably sobbing, every single part of today and yesterday and the past twelve years of her life coming back to her while Killian finally rubs her back up and down. “You are so brave, my love. Undoubtedly the strongest person I’ve ever come across in my life.”

She chokes on one of her sobs, air struggling to get to her lungs, and she knows that she’s got to be wiping snot on Killian’s shirt from how she can’t stop her body from falling apart.

She’s thirty one years old, and she’s lived five lifetimes worth of pain.

“Shhh, shhh,” he comforts, his hand now moving against her back, patting her every time she gasps for breath, “I have got you, Emma. I’ve got you.”

No part of her misses that he doesn’t say that she’s okay, that it’s okay, and she takes comfort in that too. There’s no point in lying.

“I love you,” she gasps in a quiet whisper that he most likely can’t hear over her. “I – don’t…I’m…can we – I really need to go to bed,” she finally gets out as she pulls back to look at Killian through her blurry vision. She blinks through the tears, trying to clear her vision, and Killian moves one hand up her arm until he’s wiping away her tears with his thumb so that she can see the tears falling down his cheeks as well.

“Let’s go to bed,” Killian agrees, and she can’t help herself from pressing up on her toes and kissing away the tear staining his cheek.

The next day is the most difficult day, she thinks, because she spends the entire day wondering what exactly comes next and wondering if she’s ever going to get the answers she craves. It almost feels similar to how she felt when she was told that Neal couldn’t be found, that he’d disappeared, that he was most likely dead. She knew for sure that he was dead, that he was gone, but the way that there were no definitives made the tiniest glimmer of hope radiate from within.

Now all that radiates is dread.

They take Henry out of school that day, she and Killian call in sick, and after they tell Henry that Neal had to go home early, his brown eyes full of disappointment, she and Killian take the kids to Willard beach, packing up a picnic and beach toys to entertain everybody since it’s still a bit too cold to get into the water despite it being early May. Henry is definitely a little down at first, the highs and lows of thinking his father is going to be around only for him to be gone the next day definitely taking a bit out of him, but when they get onto the sand and Killian starts kicking a ball back and forth with him, he seems to forget, especially when Killian purposefully kicks the ball far enough away that Henry is running with all of the speed that his legs will allow him. He runs back, red faced with his hair all a mess, but he’s smiling.

Her little boy is smiling, and that’s all that matters.

Ada keeps trying to stand only to fall down into the sand, the uneven surface not good for her as she tries to walk (oh man is Emma not ready for that for whenever it comes), and Emma spends her time helping Ada out as much as she can but mostly lifting her in the air and making her giggle as she listens to her daughter babble every little word and sound she knows.

It lifts her in ways she never thought possible.

For a few hours she forgets everything that’s going on in a police department downtown and forgets everything that’s happened in the past forty eight hours. These three people in front of her that are making her laugh as mustard gets stuck on Killian’s beard and Henry sticks his tongue out to make his little sister laugh are making her see that there is such good in the world that makes everything else seem a little less harsh.

At least for now.

Three days later the news breaks that Robert Gold has been arrested at his home in London, and it’s all a spiral from there. She and Killian have to explain to Henry what is going on, and she adds it to the list of the hardest things she’s ever done. He doesn’t understand, even when they break it down into the simplest of terms, and the first hour of the conversation is spent with him yelling at the two of them telling them how they’re liars and that his dad would never do anything, that his dad is a hero. It’s what they’ve told him his entire life, and it’s an awful dose of reality having to explain that heroes fall and that dads aren’t infallible superheroes even when it seems like it a lot of the time.

Her heart shatters once more, the pieces becoming a little more broken, and when Henry finally stops yelling, finally stops being angry at her, he falls into her arms and sobs as loudly as she’s ever heard him sob. His small frame shakes in her embrace, and no matter how tightly she holds him she can’t get it to stop.

She may be shaking too.

Emma promises that she loves him, promises that he is a good kid with a good heart, but all of her words seem to fall flat to a kid who’s finding out that his dad, the one he just got to know, is going to be in prison for the foreseeable future.

It’s twelve years.

That’s the deal he made with the FBI or Interpol or whoever the hell it is in charge of his case in exchange for giving details up about his father. David tells her that when he, Mary Margaret, Leo, and Ruth come over for dinner to try to distract Henry from everything that’s going on. Maybe to distract she and Killian too. David says things factually, Mary Margaret overly worries about if everyone is eating and drinking enough, and Ruth stays being the calm in the storm. It’s difficult dealing with all of these people worrying about her, especially when her natural tendency is still to close herself off and deal with it on her own, but they help. And weirdly, she holds herself together until Killian is video chatting with Liam to give him an update on what’s going on and she sees Caleb in the background lining up cars in a neat row.

She sobs once more, covering her mouth with her hands, as she looks at how at home that kid is. In all of this mess she hasn’t properly had time to talk to Liam and Belle, to let them know how happy she is for the two of them, and seeing them with their son breaks her down to her core.

“Birdie,” Liam coos, concern filling his voice while that same concern fills Killian’s eyes. “Lass, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says, really unsure of why exactly she’s crying. She takes a step into Killian’s space and settles down on his lap while his arm comes to wrap around her waist, pulling her flush against his body as his chin rests on her shoulder, beard scratching her skin. “I’m just so happy for you guys, and I really want to hold onto my nephew. Hi, Caleb.”

Caleb looks up at her from his spot and smiles, giving her a frantic wave before he goes back to playing.

“You can’t take him away from his cars,” Liam explains, the smile on his face exactly the same as the one that Killian gets when he’s thinking about their kids. The similarity would be weird if it wasn’t so heartwarming. “He loves the things. And trains, though he doesn’t seem to like riding on them.”

“That’s pretty much how it works,” Killian laughs as he presses a warm kiss into her cheek, making her close her eyes as a slight smile forms on her lips. “Ada loves messing with her bows when they’re on the ground, but if I put one in her hair it’s like I’m the worst person in the world.”

“Where is she? I need to see her on her last day before she turns one.”

“She’s napping,” Killian sighs. “Am I not good enough to talk to you?”

“Never. Though Emma does help. She’s always elevated you.”

“Amen,” she and Killian laugh at the same time, and the comfort of it has her leaning back to rest her cheek against his while he taps his fingers against her upper thigh, squeezing the slightest bit. “We’re going to come see you guys when life is a little less crazy, okay?”

“Take your time, Birdie. We’ll always be here.”

They talk for a few more minutes before Liam has to go, and when the conversation is over, she takes a deep breath, the air around her lighter than it has been in twelve days.

“We need to bake Ada’s birthday cake.”

“Aye. We could always buy one. There’s a bakery ten minutes away.”

She places her hands over his on her stomach and pats down. “I made Henry’s first birthday cake. I want to make Ada’s even if I’m still not the best baker.”

“It’s a good thing you’ve got me then.”

“Hmm, probably the best thing.” She twists her head until she can slide her lips over Killian’s, their mouths lightly brushing over each other for a minute until she pulls back. “And I want to get all of the decorations up tonight because I’m not going to be here in the morning.”

“We can do that. Are you – do you still want to go? You don’t have to.”

“I need to.”

Killian nods against her forehead, every word he says making his lips brush over hers. “I know. I can come in with you.”

“No, no. I want to…Killian, I need to do this one thing alone.”

“Of course,” he says, kissing her one more time in a way that makes her stomach melt. “I’m going to go get Henry so he can help us with the cake.”

“That sounds good.”

It’s a bit of a mess baking the cake, especially when Killian and Henry keep swiping icing out of her bowl, but they do make progress on Ada’s lady bug cake. She’s turning one and won’t care what kind of cake she’s eating as long as there’s sugar involved, but this is her baby, her little lady bug, and dammit if Emma’s not going to make sure she has a good first birthday. Her boys end up being bigger helps than she expects, and Henry has a great time placing the black dots onto the rounded red cake. Just like everything else they’ve been doing, it takes her mind off of everything.

Seeing Henry be happy makes all of the difference to her when he’s been having a really difficult time. Dr. Hopper tells her that he’s handling everything as well as can be expected, and she has to take comfort in that. Dr. Lawrence says the same thing about her, and yet it’s still harder for her to accept that.

“You’re a regular star chef,” she tells Henry, wiping a bit of icing off of his face.

“I am pretty good, aren’t I?”

“Fantastic. I think your sister’s going to love this cake even more because you made it.”

“She’s a baby, Momma. She doesn’t care.”

“But she loves you,” Emma promises, pulling him into her side and pressing a smacking kiss into his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Can I go outside now?”

“Of course, kid. Let me get some sunblock on you, though.”

“Mom,” he groans, resting his head against the countertop in despair. “I don’t need it.”

“Yes, you do, lad,” Killian adds in. “Unless you want to end up all shriveled and wrinkly like a raisin.”

“I like raisins.”

Killian rolls his eyes before winking at her. “You’re wearing sunscreen. Let’s go.”

The baby monitor goes off to show that there’s movement in the nursery, and she opens up the app on her phone to see Ada propping herself up on the crib grabbing at her mobile to reach for the little red crabs. She’s cried so much more than any human being should cry recently, and even though she knows she’s going to be emotional over her kid turning one, over the memories of that day nearly three hundred and sixty five days ago, it’s a good kind of emotional. She’s here and alive and healthy as can be.

She and Killian did a good job when it comes to that chubby-legged menace even if one day she’s going to turn on them and try to get out of having to wear sunscreen.

Among other things.

After spending the rest of her day with her family, keeping things as normal as possible, she has a restless sleep, constantly tossing and turning around on the mattress. At one point, Killian tugs her into his front and wraps his arm around her middle while sticking his legs between hers, and she knows it’s because she’s driving him crazy with her basically running a marathon while in bed. It helps to feel his solid warmth behind her, but when Killian falls back asleep, his grip on her relents and she keeps moving. In the morning, she knows that she’d eventually fallen asleep because of the way she jerks when the alarm goes off, and even though she needs more rest, she immediately gets up and takes a shower, readying herself as if she was getting ready for her daughter’s first birthday party this afternoon.

Once she’s dressed, eyeliner applied to her eyes and her natural waves curled a little more, she quietly pads down the hallway and into the nursery to see Ada. She’s still asleep, her lips curved into a serene smile, and all Emma can do is lean down and press her lips to Ada’s forehead once more before she walks down the hallway only to find Killian standing against their bedroom door with his hair sticking up in several different directions and his arms crossed over his chest, one brow raised on his forehead.

“Did you really think you were going to slip out without me knowing?”

“I was coming back to tell you I’m leaving.” He nods his head, and she steps into his space, placing her hands against his chest so that she can feel the beating of his heart as she looks up at his tired eyes. “I’m going to be back before two, and we’re going to go on with our day like nothing out of the ordinary happened.”

“You’re going to talk to Neal in prison. That’s not ordinary.”

“I need answers, Killian. He may not give them to me, but I have to ask. I deserve to know.”

“I can still come with you. Ruth can watch the kids.”

“I still think I want to do this on my own, but thank you.” She presses up on her toes and slowly slides her lips over his in a gentle caress. “I love you, and I’ll text you when I get there and when I leave, okay?”

“Alright. I love you too.”

She studies Killian’s face for a moment more, making sure that he’s okay, before patting his chest and stepping away so that she can go downstairs. For as weirdly calm as she is, she doesn’t want to risk anything by putting too much on her stomach or drinking enough caffeine to make her jittery, so she simply grabs a water bottle and her keys before leaving the house. It’s an hour and a half drive to New Hampshire, and despite her running into a bit of early morning traffic, she makes good time.

Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, she doesn’t know, but she’s in the prison’s parking lot thirty minutes before visitors are allowed in.

There’s something she never thought she’d think.

She texts Killian that she’s here, and leaves her phone in the car before going inside and going through security after filling out all of the paperwork. It’s insane, but being here makes her feel better than she did last night. Worrying makes the reality worse before reality even gets a chance to happen, but that’s never stopped her from tossing and turning at night.

Obviously.

When she’s told that she can go inside the room, she takes a deep breath to settle the still nervous set of her stomach and finds herself settling down onto one of the center tables while the other people fill in the spots around her. A ringer goes off, a harsh buzz surrounding her, and her head turns to the side as a sliding door opens and several men in gray jumpsuits walk out. She doesn’t recognize any of them, wouldn’t expect herself to, and for a moment she thinks that Neal isn’t going to come and talk to her until he rounds the corner and enters the room after a guard.

It’s…she doesn’t like seeing him like this. He was wrong, is a criminal who hurt a lot of people even if he wasn’t actively hurting them, and he hurt her in a way that’s permanently going to affect her, as well as Henry. She’s so undeniably pissed and broken, but there are still good memories of him buried not too deeply in her brain.

She’s a mess.

Unlike a lot of other people in the room, she doesn’t get up to hug him. Instead she stays sitting and nods while he cautiously slides onto the bench in front of her with his unshaved beard and unruly hair.

“Never thought I’d see you,” he greets, curving the right side of his lips into a smile that she doesn’t return.

“Surely you didn’t think that I was never going to come.”

“Didn’t think you cared about me anymore.”

“Whether I like it or not, Neal, a part of me will always care about you,” she admits, leaning forward and placing her joined hands on the table. “How are you doing?”

“It’s not the first time I’ve been in captivity, and honestly, this is a hell of a lot nicer than the first time.”

He’s trying to joke, probably to cut away some of the tension between them, but to her, all it does it make it grow.

“Why’d you do it?” she blurts out, figuring that she may as well get straight down to why she’s here. She’s got other things to do today, and if she’s not going to get her answers, she doesn’t want to wait.

He shrugs on the other side of the table, the wood dividing them in more ways than one. It’s still so surreal that this is happening. In all of her wildest dreams (nightmares), this was never one of them. There was never one even similar to this. This is…this is the absolute last place she ever expected to find Neal.

“I wasn’t always a bad guy, Ems.”

She flinches at that, but she also knows that it’s true. He wasn’t. He’s never been the best man in the world, but she loved him. She loved him before he died and she loved him in a way when he came back and got to be a part of their lives, even if it caused them all problems for a little while. But he was alive, he was here, and she was happy to have him home.

But that was then. She isn’t any longer.

“No, you weren’t,” she agrees, giving him a soft smile even if her heart feels hardened over it all, the smile more forced than anything. “But you abandoned me, Neal. You abandoned your son. A part of me doesn’t even care about all of the arms trafficking, which, holy shit is that fucked up on so many levels, but you left us. You told me over and over again that you loved me, and you left us. Why?”

His shoulders sag, his back falling toward the open air instead of leaning forward. She honestly didn’t expect him to talk to her at all, but she needed to know answers. She can’t live without them again when she’s already spent so much of her life that way when it comes to her birth parents and the eight years that Neal was gone. She deserves more, always has, and one day when Henry is older and can understand all of this, he deserves more too.

“I really was captured,” he starts, drumming his fingers on the table so that she focuses on his fingers instead of his face. “That part is true, Ems, you have to believe me. I was captured and tortured and beaten, and even though I was a shitty husband to you at the end, I did think about you and Henry to get me through it all. But then my dad – he made a deal to get me out, and I had the opportunity to come home to you guys. I was going to, but I…After everything that happened, I just needed a fresh start. I could have everything, all the things I couldn’t have at home by staying and working with my dad. I could have freedom and money and – ”

“Women who didn’t have abandonment issues and a newborn baby.”

“Ems.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

His lips part before snapping shut again, a subtle nod of his head. It’s almost like he’s accepted what’s happening, that he’s not going to deny it, and of everything, that shocks her most of all.

Asshole.

“What do you want?” he finally says.

“The truth.”

“It’s not simple.”

“I just want to know, Neal. I get it. You’re selfish. You wanted a new life where Henry and I weren’t going to hold you back, and your apparently alive father helped you out with that because he freaking had contacts with actual terrorists. I don’t – you don’t need to break my heart again by telling me that you abandoned me and lied to me when you knew I had issues with that. But I do need to know why you came back. And damn it, if you have any decency at all, I need you to tell me about all of that so I can stop wondering.”

His jaw ticks, but he nods his head anyways and she feels such apprehension but mostly relief that she gets to know.

“My dad and I had a plan. We knew if I came back home and everyone thought I’d survived for nearly a decade under captivity, I’d be hailed as some kind of American hero. It’s why I did the interview, why I continuously sought out the attention. I wanted people to know my name because our goal was Congress.”

Congress, she thinks. Why would his goal be Congress? How would that…

“You bastard. That’s why took the job in the State Department. That’s why you were so insistent on moving back to DC even though we had a life in Portland. What was the plan? Schmooze politicians and try to change laws for some kind of way to make your dad’s business bigger?”

He shrugs again, and she knows that she’s right. “That’s the gist of it, but me working at the State Department was a bit of a roadblock. I – I didn’t know that you were with Killian. I checked to see if you had remarried, but since you guys aren’t married, there was no record. I didn’t think to check for kids. I didn’t…I figured you hadn’t moved on from me, so I came back. We were going to be reunited, and it was going to be this big thing where our family made us this kind of all American dream that helped propel me more toward a role in Congress so I could make contacts in the government and help ease our sales.”

“You don’t need to sugarcoat it. You haven’t with anything else. Bribes. That’s what easing sales means, right? And what, you thought that I was sitting around waiting for you for a decade? How self centered are you?”

“I missed you.”

“Bullshit.”

“I did.”

“You left me, Neal,” she yells, making everyone in the room look at her before she quiets her voice. “There is no changing that. You abandoned your family, and I mourned you every day of those eight years. But I also grew the hell up, realized how shitty you treated me, and I allowed myself to find happiness again. Happiness that you didn’t seem to care about and yet suddenly resented when you found out I had it with someone else. And now you’re telling me that you were going to use me? You were going to use us to paint this pretty portrait to further your business and to seriously fuck up an already fucked up system? That’s – that’s…you’re a dick. I can’t even believe any of that, and yet I can. After all of this I can. I mean, God, you don’t even care about me or Henry, and yet you pulled all of that shit about how you are Henry’s dad and Killian isn’t. You tried to poison that kid against the man who raised him out of some petty jealousy, and I…did you ever even love me?”

She doesn’t know how she got that question, not really, but deep down it’s been blazing its way to the surface, breaking its way through every other muddled thought that she’s been pushing down.

She’s not even sure if she wants to know the answer.

“I’ve always loved you even if I didn’t know how to show it. I’m a selfish man, Emma. I always have been. My father is too, and it’s the only thing I ever knew growing up. I guess I couldn’t help myself. But yeah, I fucked up. I fucked it all up, and none of it worked. I’m…I guess I’m sorry that I dragged you all into this, but you were never supposed to find out about my dad or that I hadn’t been in captivity the entire time. It was part of why I was distancing myself from you guys. Yes, it was to go along with the plan, but I also didn’t want Henry to get hurt. And I guess I let myself have feelings for you again, and I was pissed that I couldn’t have you and couldn’t have the relationship Henry has with Killian.”

“That’s your own damned fault.”

“Don’t you think I know that?”

“I don’t think you know anything about what it’s like to have a family.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

She laughs, one of those dark laughs that makes her own skin crawl, and while she’s trying to contain herself, she rubs the heels of her hands just below her eyes. When her chest has stopped heaving, the rage calming itself for a minute, she looks directly into the eyes of the man who she once loved more than anyone in the world.

“I know more about family than you ever have, and I may screw up a hell of a lot, but I would never abandon the people I love for some money and the ability to fuck around. I would never abandon them for anything.” Emma presses her lips together before standing from the bench and leaning forward on the table. “You know, all that time that you were gone I wished you were alive, but now, I wish you were dead.”

With that, she gets up and walks from the room. He doesn’t deserve more of her time, and she doesn’t need anything else from him.

Walking out of the gates of the prison and loading up into her car is exhilarating, and as she drives down the open highway with music blaring through the speakers, she feels free. She hadn’t realized that she felt trapped until now, but the shackles that have been holding her down are no longer binding. She knows that this is all something that’s going to stay with her for the rest of her life, but that doesn’t have to stop her from living.

When she gets home, she quickly parks in the garage and steps through the door into the kitchen. There’s a spread of finger foods on the island that makes it look like it’s a Saturday and Killian is having his friends over to watch a soccer match with Henry excitedly following him around wearing whatever jersey he’s decided on today, and she smiles a little as she picks up a carrot and dips it into the sauce that’s in a bowl. Killian took the day off of work today so she could go see Neal and so they could have everybody over this afternoon for Ada’s party.

“Babe,” she calls out, grabbing another carrot and walking to the living room where she finds Killian laid out on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest and Ada sleeping in just her diaper on top of him. “Kid,” she asks Henry as he sits quietly reading his book in the arm chair, “why in the world is your daddy asleep?”

“He said that hosting people is exhausting, and he needed to nap with Ada.”

She hums in acknowledgement and walks over to Henry, shimmying down to sit in the chair next to him and wrapping her arm around his shoulder. “What have you guys been doing all day?”

“Getting ready for Ada’s party. I wanted to see if I could catch real ladybugs outside, but Dad said I couldn’t put them into the food.”

“Gross.”

“No, cool.”

“We’re not eating bugs.”

“But what’s the point of having a ladybug party if there are no bugs?”

“Because it’s cute, and it’s our nickname for Ada. But for your birthday, if you want to have a bug themed party, we’ll have lots of bugs…just outside, okay?”

“I think I want to go out on a boat for my party.”

“We should definitely do that,” Killian pipes in, sitting up on the couch and sliding Ada down onto his lap.

“Oh look, Henry, you said the magic words to wake your dad up.”

“Ha ha,” Killian mocks, rolling his eyes before he rubs the sleep out of them. “When’d you get home, love?”

“About three minutes ago. I’ll tell you about everything later, but I think right now we have to go get my bug dressed for her party.”

“What? The diaper look doesn’t work for you?”

“Only when we’re eating the cake.”

Emma takes Ada from Killian and walks her upstairs to change her diaper and get her dressed in the romper Emma has for her. It’s a hassle, but she gets the headband on her too, brushing back her slight curls as she tells Ada the story of the day she was born. She does the same thing with Henry, even if she has to embellish the details, and she takes the time to appreciate that Ada can’t complain about Emma getting all sentimental as she talks about that painful, magical day. Ada will hate hearing about one day, but it’ll forever be one of the best days of Emma’s life.

Her mom, David, Mary Margaret, and Leo show up an hour later, Ruby, Robin, and Roland following behind them as well as a few of Henry’s friends from school that she told him he could invite. Everyone is aware of what’s been happening lately, most of them intimately so, but none of them mention it as they laugh and talk and have the carefree time that she’s wanted for today. Ada loves all of the attention, really hams it up for everybody, and she laughs at her continuously trying to steal everybody’s food even if Henry is the one actually swiping food.

But eventually it’s time for Ada to finally get to smash into her birthday cake – because what better idea is there than giving a child that much sugar – and she, Killian, and Henry crowd around Ada’s high chair so that Mary Margaret can take a picture of the four of them before Killian lights the candle and they all sing. For the briefest of moments, she looks over to Killian, and he winks in return before threading his fingers through hers.

When the song is over, everyone claps, Ada moving her hands along with them, and Emma leans down to blow out the candle for Ada, extinguishing the light on the completion of one year and signaling the beginning of a new one.

[omi-ohmyimagination]

Just a deal

Themes: Roommates AU, Friends with benefits, Mature, Smut, Angst (?), Fluff, Romance, Optional Bias x Female Reader

Word count: ~5,6k

Description: It was supposed to be a harmless agreement. Simple deal between two needy people who happened to live together. But what if one of them had hidden motifs? What if they didn't reveal the whole truth behind their plan? What if... it wasn’t just a deal?

OMI’s note: Eh... sorry for disappearing guys. I was busy with other things and well, I didn't have energy to write anything. I wish I could say that I will be here more often from now on but January... will be tough. I have to finally finish my BA thesis, otherwise I'll get in huge troubles. I'm really sorry guys...

You had known B/N since the first year of university. You couldn't say that you were friends, acquaintances – yes, but not friends. You talked a bunch of times, went to few parties together and kissed during one of them. But the last one was something you both agreed to forget as soon as you had sobered up.

B/N was friendly, respectful and almost always willing to help. He was the most popular person at your uni; people surrounded him like a moths surrounding fire. He was really a life of the party. He was also quite famous for his face and body – perfectly sculpted features, plumb lips, charming eyes and fit build. Girls always trailed him, no matter where he went. And he didn't really refuse them.

You were probably one of a few people - besides those girls - that knew that under all those positive features, he was a huge ladies' man. And it wasn't because you were interested in him or something, heaven forbid.

You were his roommate.

You didn't really want it, it just happened. One day your previous roomie told you she wanted to finally live with her boyfriend and she moved out week later. That was when B/N appeared at your doorsteps with all his stuff but without knowledge that you were supposed to be his roommate.

Everything went surprisingly well for three years – you didn't really talk a lot with each other, only if it was needed, tried not to interfere with other's life and didn't cause any problems or unnecessary fights. Admittedly, sometimes, if one had drank too much, you spent time together, pouring your heart out to another one but it was forgotten as soon as the sun hit your faces. In people eyes you were perfect roommates.

But it all ended one summer night.

You were putting on your clothes in bathroom, when you noticed B/N by the door frame, looking at you with dark eyes.

“The fuck you're doing,” you asked, zipping up your leather dress.

“I have... an offer.”

“Mhm,” you murmured without looking at him.

“I'm sure you remember when I told you that I can't find anyone to... well, begging your pardon, fuck...”

You glanced at him curious. Over the last few years you never talked about things that were said during states of intoxication. Not even once. That was definitely something new.

{ You came back from work tired as never before. You were running around the office whole day, collecting papers and signatures. All you dreamed about was throwing yourself into your bed and forgetting about pain in your feet. But as soon as you crossed the doorstep smell of alcohol hit your nose.

You entered the livingroom and saw B/N sitting on the floor in nothing except joggers with bottle of vodka in hand. His face was red, pupils dilated and he was breathing heavily.

“Ey, B/N, are you okay?”

“You know, everything was simpler when we were at university,” he said with a sad smile and took a sip of alcohol. You sighed, throw your blazer on the table and sat across him. He offered you his drink but you shook your head. “I had almost everything I wanted. It was all mine. And it cost me nothing. But now? I barely sleep, I can't have sex with women at my work and I can't even go to a bar to find anyone. I'm so frustrated, Y/N. It's all so different now and I can't get use to it.”

“It's called adulthood, men.”

He looked at you thoughtfully. “Yeah, maybe... How do you handle it?”

“Handle what exactly?”

“Come on, don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about.”

“I definitely cope with it better than you. I'm not wasting myself in a bottle of vodka.” You eyed him from head to toe with pity.

“But I don't see anyone visiting you. And you don't go to parties so often.”

“Well, that's true. I don't really have time...” You rubbed your neck uncomfortable with the truth. “But I can take care of myself alone.”

B/N laughed. “From what I've heard, you surely can.”

You gasped, absolutely shocked. “What did you just say?”

“We have rooms next to each other, Y/N. It's not that weird that I hear... various sounds. And I must say, some of them indeed sound pretty nice...”

“Okay, I think you drunk too much,” you announced, standing up and taking the bottle from him. “Go to your bed because you're talking nonsense.” }

“I'm quite amazed that you remember that, you were pretty wasted.”

“That's not important right now. More to the point, I have an offer that may seem a bit... weird but we will both be... satisfied with the outcome, I think.”

“Stop beating around the bush and spit it out, I'm kinda busy, as you can see.” You moved your hand around yourself, trying to give him a hint that you were leaving the house soon.

“Yeah, okay. So, both of us don't have time for meeting people and we have needs, you can't deny it. Maybe we should help each other?”

Brush that you were holding hit the counter with a thud. “What?”

“We should try being friends-with-benefits.”

You turned around and looked closely at him. You were searching for any sign that he was joking but his expression was dead serious. He really meant it. You were so confused that you said the dumbest possible thing, “But we aren't even friends.”

He blinked a few times, not being sure how to respond. Few extremely long seconds passed before he sighed, almost as if he was disappointed. “You can't tell me you still believe in this, we know too much about each other.”

“But we never talk about ourselves!”

“Oh come on, I remember every damn conversation we had when one of us got drunk, I remember everything you told me about you, every fucking detail. And you probably do, too. Just because we never talked about it, doesn't mean that those things don't linger at the back of my head.”

“Stop it, B/N. It's ridiculous.”

“It's not that ridiculous. It will be a lot easier for us that way...”

“No, cut it out,” you interrupted him. You took a deep breath. “I'm going out now because it's getting weirder every minute. This discussion shouldn't happened so, I don't know, think about what you just said.”

As soon as you stepped outside your shared apartment you took your phone out and dialed Lami's, your best friend's, number. She answered after two signals. “What's up? Are you ready?”

“I'm definitely not in the mood for party right now.”

"Something happened?”

“Yeah and I don't know what to think about it. Can we ditch this party and meet at the usual?”

“Sure, I will be there in fifteen minutes.”

You were sitting by the table, mindlessly stirring your coffee with a straw. Beside you and a couple at the other end of the bar the inside was pretty deserted. From time to time you glanced at them - they were looking around while laughing hysterically, probably planning something shady.

But your mind couldn't concentrate on them for a longer period of time, you still heard B/N's voice inside your head. Was he really thinking about it? How did he even come up with such plan? And most importantly, was he considering you as his friend? It was true, you knew quite a lot about him but was it enough to be his friend?

You didn't notice when Lami came inside and sat across you. “What happened, Y/N?”

You looked up at her, lost. “You're here already.”

“I am and now tell me what's going on. You look like you've seen a ghost.”

“B/N suggested that we should be friends-with-benefits and I don't know what to do with it. I'm not sure if he was joking or what. It's so weird Lami. What am I suppose to do?”

“Whoa, hold on. He did what?”

You sighed. “A few days ago, when he got drunk, we talked a little bit about our sex lives and, you know, they don't exist. And today he told me we should try being FWB because it will be a lot easier for both of us. I don't know if he was serious but he looked fairly confident about it. What's more, he believes that we are friends but we aren't.”

“I wouldn't say that, girl. You don't talk with people you're not close to about sex. Beside you're living together for more than three years, he probably knows more about you than me.”

“That's not true,” you stated, shaking your head.

“Don't be so defensive. Think about it, you saw your lowest points, you were together during them, you comforted each other. And don't even try to brush it off and convince me that it never happened because you told me it did. Remember that time when your grandmother died? Who was taking care of you back then 'cause I think it was B/N. That's exactly what friends do.”

{ When you hung up the phone, tears started rolling down your face. It couldn't be true. You had knew your grandma was sick but you didn't know it was this serious. She couldn't be dead.

You threw the phone across the room; it hit the wall with a loud bang and landed on the floor in a few pieces. Your knees failed you and you collapsed, sobbing loudly.

The door opened suddenly and B/N stood in them. “What are you...” His face filled with worry and he quickly came closer to you. “Hey, what's going on?”

“She's dead... she...,” you stammered, looking up at him. “She died, B/N.”

“Your grandma?” His voice was soft. It was like he was trying to calm you down just with the tone of his voice.

“It's not possible. It's just a sick joke, right?”

He took you into embrace. “Y/N, I'm so sorry.”

“I couldn't say goodbye to her, I couldn't...”

He stayed with you that night, brushing your hair, wiping tears from your face and telling you meaningless stories just to calm you down. Finally, after hours of crying, you finally fell asleep in his arms.” }

“I... fuck, Lami. What am I supposed to do?” You laid your head on the table with a groan.

“If I was in your place,” she started, “I would accept his offer.”

“What?”

“Well, you could say that you have some kind of a past together...”

“It was a one time thing. And we were both hella drunk,” you interrupted her again, annoyed.

“Yeah but still. You're comfortable with each other, I would say that you like him and he likes you, too. And you live together. What more you possibly might need? It's worth a shot, you won't lose anything. After all, it's just a simple deal.”

After you parted ways with Lami, your head was still full of doubts. She had a point – it was just a deal but the thought of discomfort that would come after it scared you. It was true, you liked him and you didn't want any tension between the two of you afterwards. On the other hand, you missed that kind of interactions with men and he wasn't the worst catch – he was sexy, willing and available.

What could go wrong?

You entered your apartment and headed straight to B/N's room. He was sitting on his bed with laptop beside him. His hair was slightly damp and his bare torso glistened in a lamp's light. He looked up, locking his eyes with you.

“Let's do it.”

“Let's do wha... oh shit, are you serious?” He straightened up, suddenly full of energy but also disbelieve at the same time.

“Yes, but we need a few rules.” You sat on the edge of his bed with folded arms. “First of all, we are not talking about it during the day, I don't want it to be the topic of our conversations. Two, we are not staying in one another's bed after. And three, no feelings attached. If anyone starts to feel different about the other one, we are ending it. Understood?”

“Understood.”

“Good. So... are up for a round,” you asked. You felt a hint of shyness but one look at his charming body ended those thoughts.

“Right now,” he uttered, shocked.

“Yep.” You came closer to him, licking your lips. “Lately I didn't have any time for myself, it also didn't work out today and it was because of you, just so you know so... well, you need to make it up to me.” Your hand touched his bare arm softly. “What do you say, B/N?”

His eyes trailed the move of your fingers. “I... don't know.”

“What? Are you withdrawing from your own offer? Were you joking?”

“No, no, no. I just didn't expect you to agree and be so... eager?”

“I can leave if you want.” You backed off but he grabbed your wrist.

“Stay.”

You grinned and kissed him. His lips were soft, just as you remembered from that one time. He was hesitant for a second but then he eased into your touch. He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you closer. You fell on his torso with a moan. New position allowed you to deepened the kiss which became a lot more sloppier and fervent. He moved away to catch a quick breath and you took a chance and put your lips on his throat. You bit him lightly what earned you a deep groan from him. You felt his dick getting harder. You smirked into his skin and started moving your hips in circle. His breath stopped. He yanked your head and rolled you on your back.

“I like it more than I thought,” he said while connecting your lips together again. This time it was much more violent. Your teeth clashed and you moaned loudly, too concentrated on feeling building up in your body. B/N's hand slid over your stomach, leaving burning marks on its way, and he grabbed the hem of your dress and pulled it up. He pushed your underwear to the side and slid his slender fingers up and down your womanhood, spreading the wetness in the process. You gasped at the sudden contact, sensation being more overwhelming than when you were doing it. He took his time, preparing you. After few minutes of torturing you with slow pace, he inserted two digits into you. Your back arched, your eyes closed on their own and long moan left your mouth.

B/N's lips were attached to your neck, kissing and marking it while his fingers worked their magic. He pumped them in and out in a steady pace whilst his thumb was circling on your clit, bringing you closer to the high. Sometimes his digits curled inside you, hitting that sensitive spot and sending shivers all over your body. Every doubt you had about that agreement disappeared from your mind when climax finally hit you. It was so powerful that you squeezed your legs together and the loudest moan escaped your lips. You tried to catch a breathe but it was too hard, every nerve, every muscle in you was shaking with pleasure.

You heard the sound of zipper being pulled down so you opened eyes and removed your pants. You were quite amazed at how well he was build, his cock was longer and thicker than you expected. You licked your lips.

B/N came between your legs and looked into your eyes with hesitation. “Are you sure about this?”

“Oh for fuck's sake, just fuck me.”

With weird look in his eyes, he finally entered you. You both moaned at the same time. He leaned his head on your shoulder and stayed still for a moment. “You feel so good, Y/N.”

“Stop talking and move,” you ordered, clenching your fingers on his hair. He glanced at you and slowly thrusted into you. You arched your back again. His moves were slow but hard. You forgot how good it felt. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea.

You were euphoric. Meaningless words along with curses were leaving your lips constantly as if it was some kind of a mantra.  B/N's hand sneaked between your bodies and he started rubbing your clit in an attempt to drive you closer to the edge. Your legs tighten around his hips in response. He rolled into you, hitting you deeper each time. Begging screams left your lips after each thrust.

You yanked his hair harshly when climax finally ran over your body. Your mind was clouded with pleasure. B/N moved a few more times and collapsed on you, trying to catch his breath as well.

“That was definitely what I needed,” he said with lips close to your ear.

“Yeah, that's true,” you agreed and pushed him off of you. The loss of contact with him made you shudder but you ignored it and stood up.

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving? Remember our second rule,” you answered, grabbing your underwear from the floor.

“Oh... right.”

“Hey.” B/N entered the kitchen when you were putting scrambled eggs on a plate.

“Hey. Do you want some? I made a little too much,” you said while looking at the pan. To tell the truth, it was a lie. You made it intentionally, knowing that B/N didn't eat anything proper for a few days. Lately he was extremely busy, he came back from work late and went to sleep immediately. For some – unknown reason for you – it broke your heart.

“Sure.”

He sat on a tall chair and followed your every move with his eyes. You put a plate in front of him and joined him. After a while you finally noticed that he was looking at you and you swallowed the bite you took. “What?”

“Nothing. Thanks for the food.”

You were both silent for a few minutes before you spoke up. “How's work?”

B/N took a deep breath. “It's like hell lately. Our projects' deadlines are coming, everyone's in the office running around like crazy. There's so much to do that I don't even know what to do first. I'm so tired, Y/N.”

“Maybe you want me to help you?”

“Nah, I'm sure you have your own work to do.”

“Actually, today I'm free so I can lend you a hand. I see how burnt out you are.”

He looked carefully at you. “For real?”

“I wouldn't offer it if I wasn't serious.”

“I would be eternally grateful but still, I don't want you to overworked yourself. I know you spent two last nights doing reports.”

“And now you're doing the same and I can't stand it,” you groaned angry. “You look like you're gonna collapsed any minute. I'm sure you will do the same thing as me recently and then you will be even more tired than you already are. And I can't accept that. You can't refuse me, I'm going to help you and that's the end of this conversation.”

“But...”

“There's no but, B/N.”

His face expression softened and small, shy smile appeared on his lips. “I owe you.”

After you had finished eating, you both moved to B/N's room. You sat on his bed with the laptop and started typing numbers into the file. You were almost hundred percent sure that he gave you the easiest possible task. He explained it to you in detail, trying to describe it in a lot darker colors than it in fact was. But at least – you were helping him. It wasn't like you were feeling differently about him or anything... or that was what you were telling yourself. You just felt sorry for him. He wasn't his usual self and that affected you as well in some twisted way.

You finished your task way before B/N but you didn't speak up right away, instead you took a quick glance at him. He was sitting by the desk, concentrated more than you ever saw him, his glasses sat low on his nose and he munched on the tip of the pen. He licked his finger and flipped through the pages, spread in front of him. You gulped at the sight of it. He looked... sexy. Wave of heat ran over your body. You didn't want to interrupt him but suddenly you felt needy. It was a week since your first time together and you would lie if you said that you didn't crave his touch again.

You stood up and came closer to him. Your arms found their way around his shoulders. B/N looked at you puzzled. “What are you doing?”

You kissed the shell of his ear and purred seductively, “I want you.”

“I... I would love to fuck you right now but... I need to finish this,” he stammered, gazing at files.

You went around his chair and sat on his thigh. Sly smile appeared on your lips. “You can finish, I will do the work.”

“What...” he cut himself off in mid-sentence when you started moving back and forth on his leg. You applauded yourself for wearing sport short and nothing more. The friction between your core and his denim clothed thigh felt heavenly. You threw your head backwards and moaned loudly. B/N's hands squeezed your hips with so much power that it hurt. But you didn't care, the overall feeling was too good. He put his lips on your exposed neck and murmured, “Why do you look so hot, goddammit.”

You groaned, speeding your actions. His hands guided you, helping you to keep steady pace. You noticed a wet spot on B/N's jeans and you were about to let him know but he slapped your ass hard out of nowhere. You moaned, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Fuck, B/N.”

“What do you want, baby?” You felt smile forming on his lips. You would react at that baby but he flexed his muscles, making you squeezed your eyes shut. He pushed you down and repeated his move. You whined, digging your nails into his biceps. Your moves became sloppier, friction between your bodies turned into unbearable feeling. B/N bit sensitive skin under your ear and you finally came undone, spilling your juices all over his clothes. You trembled, trying to catch a breath. “Do you feel better now?”

“I do,” you said but didn't move from your current position. Your arms were still around his neck but he didn't seem to care. “Do you want me to help you with this,” you asked, touching his hard cock with just tips of your digits. He closed his eyes with a groan but gripped your hand in his at the same time.

“I will take care of it. Thanks for helping me, now go to sleep.”

“You're...”

“It's late and you need to wake up early. Just go to sleep, Y/N, don't worry about me.”

You hesitated for a moment, with pursed lips. He laughed loudly and nudged your hip. “Okay, okay. Goodnight, B/N.” Before you even registered what you were doing, you leaned in and kiss his cheek. You stepped back as fast as you could and left his room before he had a chance to say anything.

You opened another bottle of wine. It was the third one that night. Whole room was spinning and it was so hot that you took off your clothes, leaving only bra and shorts on. You were mad, your eyes burnt making you dangerously near crying.

The front door opened but you didn't care.

“Y/N?” You looked at B/N's worried expression and you couldn't hold your emotions under control any longer. Tears started rolling down your cheeks, hurt sob left your parted lips. He sped to you and took you into his arms. You pressed your face into his chest, feeling somehow safe close to him. “What happened?”

“That fucker, Kim, he... he... did it again. He's disgusting. He said such gross things and spanked me. I screamed at him and boss came but... but I feel... dirty. Why me again,” you cried.

B/N squeezed you tighter. “I'm gonna fucking kill him.”

You wrapped your arms around him. Your fist clenched on his shirt desperately. “He got fired, he won't be around me anymore. And I don't think he will come look after me. I was just his another toy but I'm finally free from him. Only those memories... I still feel his hands on me.”

“Oh baby...” He stroked your hair gently. His voice was full of pain.

“Can you do something for me,” you asked, looking up.

“Anything you want.”

“Can you touch me? I want you to... make love to me, not fuck me... Are you okay with bending our rules? Can you pretend that you love me? That you really want me?”

“I...” His face was full of sadness and you didn't know why. Was it because you look so pathetically? Was he disgusted?

“Don't worry, I understand.” You tried to freed yourself but he swiftly took you into his arms and headed to your bedroom.

“You don't understand, Y/N.” He put you on the bed, grabbed your face and wiped tears off of your cheeks with his fingers. “You don't understand.”

He attached his lips to yours. Gentleness of the kiss shocked you. He was carefully touching you just as if you were made from glass, like you could break any minute. You melted into his touch, intoxicated with his every move. You were amazed how good he was in his acting. If you didn't know that it was only a performance, you would believe him.

B/N's hands roamed around your body attentively, trying to touch every inch of it. Every feather-like touch set your skin on fire. His lips followed traces that his fingers left with gentle pecks. You shuddered under him.

Why did it feel so different?

“You're so pretty, Y/N,” he said, kissing your jaw.

“You don't need to pretend so hard.” You voice was quiet, filled with sadness. Oh, how much you wished that it was real.

He didn't say anything, instead he slowly undressed both of you, looking directly in your eyes. All of the sudden, you felt shy. His gaze was so piercing that you wanted to hide yourself.

He put your leg around his hip and entered you carefully. You moaned and hugged him. He was so gentle, so caring... as if he really loved you. It felt so good. Your head was spinning with the feeling of his proximity. He moved slowly, hanging his own head low. His hot breath mixed with yours; his low grunts mixed with yours moans. You combed your fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at them. He purred just a few inches above your mouth, pleased with your actions. You arched your back and pressed yourself to his naked chest. You wanted to be closer to him, to feel his skin, his heat all over your body.

“B/N.” His name left your parted lips in a quiet, almost inaudible, tone. He pushed a few loose strands of hair from you face and kissed your temple. You closed your eyes. You shuddered when he thrusted in you especially hard. Heat started to build in your abdomen. “I'm so close.”

He leaned his forehead on yours and pecked your nose lightly. “Keep looking at me.” You obeyed him without hesitation. His gaze was full of... admiration? Love?

Why?

He sped up his movements, interlocking his fingers with yours.

Stop it.

You squeezed his hands hardly as your climax hit you. The heat spread through your body, leaving the intense feeling of satisfaction. Every muscle in you shook with pleasure. B/N groaned and came undone after you. He planted a few kisses on your face, finally kissing your lips.

“Let me stay with you tonight,” he pleaded, rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

“I... you...”

“Just this once.”

You were silent for a few minutes. You wanted him to stay but wasn't it too much? Hesitantly, you said, “Okay.”

He helped you to clean yourself and as soon as he wrapped his arms around you, you began to drift into sleep. You felt safe... complete... in his embrace.

The last thing you heard before you fell asleep were the least words you thought you would ever hear from B/N.

“I wish you knew that I wasn't pretending...”

You were sitting in your usual place at the café, waiting for Lami impatiently. She was supposed to meet with you half an hour ago. You scrolled through messages on your phone – one from her and a few from B/N. Since the morning he was writing to you, asking where were you and if you were okay. You left the apartment and him, still sleeping in you bed, as soon as you had woken up. You felt weird and confused about what happened yesterday. And it wasn't only because of what he had said but also because of the fact that it felt... delightful. The thought of him made your heart skipped a bit.

You looked up when the door opened and you waved to Lami.

“Hey, what did you want to talk about?”

“Remember when you told me that this offer with B/N will be a simple deal? Well, it doesn't seem that simple now?”

Lami burst into laughter. “I'm not really surprised, if I'm being honest.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, Y/N, you didn't notice that he was into you since the university?” You opened your mouth and closed them right away. You didn't understand what she was talking about. You just looked at her with wide opened eyes. “For real?! He had moved in with you, took care of you whenever you were drunk and now this and it still didn't tell you anything?”

“He knew I would be his roommate?”

“Of course. I was the one who told him about your situation... and not only about this, to tell the truth.”

“What?”

“We were talking about you quite a lot back then. He was extremely interested in you. And he still is, tho.”

“So why he never told me about it?” Feeling of confusion overwhelmed you.

“That's probably because he was scared that you wouldn't be interested in him. But I'm not sure.”

“I... what am I supposed to do, Lami?”

“And what do you want to do? Think about those few last months and the way you see him. It's not really my place to give advice, you know that.”

Few last months... Did anything change?

Of course it did.

You definitely became closer. He was a lot nicer, more often showed that he cared about you and you... you felt safer with him around. You wanted to spend more time with him, not only in bedroom but also in other aspects of your daily life. You remembered how much you had enjoyed those times when you were eating together, when you helped him with his work and how grateful he was because of it. It made you feel needed.

And those conversation while being drunk. They gave you not only insight in his feelings, but also consolation. He helped you a lot of times, never refused you a shoulder to lean upon and never expect anything in return.

And what about yesterday's night? Everything felt so different, so... right. You felt loved as never before. His words sparked a fire in your heart and you didn't want to ignore it anymore. Deep down you wished you would hear this from him some day.

You glanced at smiling Lami. “Go get your man, girl.”

You entered your apartment and saw B/N in the livingroom. He was sitting on the couch with the phone in hand, nervously tapping his foot on the floor. As soon as he saw you, he stood up.

“Are you okay? You didn't pick up my calls and...” You interrupted him, hugging him tightly. He wrapped his own arms around you instinctively. “Something happened?”

“Actually, yes,” you answered with a smile. “Fuck those rules. Especially the third one.”

His eyes filled with hope and your heart stopped beating. “You're not joking, right?”

“No way in hell I would lie to someone I love.”

Smile spread across his lips and he bent down to kiss you.

[galadrieljones]

The Lily Farm - Chapter 27 (Arthur x Mary Beth)

AO3 | Masterpost

Rating: M (Mature) - sexual content, violence, and adult themes

To help her process Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip, somewhere far away. He agrees, and on their journey to the north, they find quietude and take comfort in their easy bond. They’ve been friends for a while now, but life, like the wilderness, is full of uncertainty and complications, and in their desperate search for meaning together, they endure a number of trials, some small, some big, all of which bring them closer to one another, as well as to their future. But they’ve fallen in love during hard times. With the gang tipping dangerously close to a breaking point in a changing world, Arthur must make a difficult choice. Can he escape his past, as well as the outlaw life, in order to start a family of his own? With Mary Beth by his side, one thing is certain: redemption and second chances finally seem within his grasp.

Chapter 27: American Mothers

They rode hard on their way back to Shady Belle, but even still. Kieran lost his steam in the evening and could no longer hold himself up on the back of Arthur’s horse. He seemed to have some cracked ribs or something, and this made it hard for him. They camped out near the river, right on the cusp of the swamp, and they put him in the tent, and he liquored up for the anesthetic properties. Meanwhile Arthur and Mary Beth set their bedrolls up outside, near the fire, under the stars. It was a fine break.

But Arthur was in some kind of pain. He was a little more beat up than he had let on to Mary Beth the night before, and now, with the adrenaline wore off and the night looming ahead, he was finally feeling it. He had the shiner on his cheek but it had come from throwing hands with the great big psychopath who had been guarding Kieran in Colm’s absence. In getting the gun away from him, Arthur endured a boot to the chest and a lot of gut punches. On one occasion, he had nearly lost consciousness and got a loud ringing in his ears when thrown hard into the stone wall of the cellar. Charles had come and dispatched of the man with his sawed-off at that point, and this is when they untied Kieran and got the fuck out of there. In any case, his entire body hurt. It felt like there was a ton of dull grit in his joints, and he thought his jaw might be a little loose. There was little blood, just black and blue, and he didn’t want to worry Mary Beth. So he tried to stay hushed about it that night when they lie side-by-side, sleeping on the hard earth, but she was canny and she noticed something was wrong nonetheless. She started asking him about it as soon as they heard Kieran start to snore from inside the tent.

“Arthur, how hurt are you?” she said, getting up. The crackling of the fire was all you could really hear.

“I’m fine,” said Arthur, lying flat on his back. Like a slab. “Leave it be, Mary Beth.”

“Sit up.”

“I ain’t gonna sit up.”

“Why not?”

He opened his eyes, turned his head a little to look at her. “Because. I’d prefer not to sit up. Not right now. If it’s all the same to you, my lady.”

“What happened?” she said. “Tell me, Arthur. Just because we’re getting married that don’t mean you get to start hiding stuff from me. That ain’t how this works. We’re still friends. You ain’t protecting nobody with that act of yours.”

He gave her a look. “I ain’t acting.” He took a deep breath then, winced. “You wanna know what happened?”

“Yeah.”

“I took a bad beating back there, at Lone Mule,” he said. “A big guy, he got a piece of me. No guns, no blood. Nothing like that. Just bruises. And I’ll be fine.”

“Why didn’t you just say so? About the beating?” she said.

“Because it ain’t life threatening,” he said. “I ain’t much of a complainer, and you don’t need to worry about it.”

“But you’re hurt, Arthur. I wanna know.”

“Why? So you can coddle me?”

She stayed quiet.

He sighed after this, feeling bad. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. He turned toward her and it caused him pain to do so. He grabbed his side but didn’t linger and shook out his head to snap himself out of the pain. It was dull, he knew, and nothing was broken, and it would all subside in a week or so. “Mary Beth, I will always tell you the stuff you need to know. Understand?”

She shrugged. “Yes.”

“I can see that you’re overly worried,” he went on. “And I mean overly. As much as I am grateful to you for caring about me, I need you to try to take your own advice this time, just a little bit.”

“My own advice?”

“Yes. Just because we’re getting married, that don’t change what was,” he said. “Once, we was just friends, and I’d come to you in all manner of harm and distress and it was none the difference per our interactions, unless I said so. It’s one thing if I’m bleeding from the head, or if I’m shot, like what happened a few weeks ago, back up north. You will know when I am in more pain or danger than I can manage, but try to remember what’s remained. I ain’t no delicate specimen. I have dealt with a lot of…bodily misfortune over the years and if there is one thing I know better than anything about myself, it’s that I can handle a goddam beating. I’m okay.”

“But—”

He held up his hand, stopped her cold. “I’ll live. Please stop worrying.”

She sighed. She lay down again, on her back, staring up at the sky and fussing with the ends of her hair. She seemed off.

“You okay?” he said, softer now. “You seem…anxious. Is it about last night still? Colm?”

“Probably,” she said, too quickly. She looked a little annoyed for another minute, but then, out of nowhere, she seemed to reset, and she smiled in her regular habits of misdirection, and this was perplexing.

“What’s funny?” he said.

“Nothing,” she said. She looked at him.

“What is it?”

“When we first got back from that trip up north,” she said, “and you was out, talking to Hosea on the balcony, Abigail stole me away and made me tell her everything about us.”

This defused the argument. It was completely amusing to him. “Well, that sounds about right.”

“Anyway,” said Mary Beth, still fussing with her hair. “We ended up talking about you. She told me a story about this one time…this time before I got here, when you got so drunk in a saloon, you punched a hole in a piano.”

Arthur blinked. He had forgotten all about that. “Shit,” he said. “Abigail remembers the piano?”

Mary Beth shrugged, still smiling. “I think you was in a bad way when you did it. Still. It was kind of a funny image. Picturing you, so big and drunk and just like, swinging your arms around, landing a hole right in a piano. I ain’t making fun. Just…the idea. It’s like something out of a moving picture show.”

Arthur laughed at this, low and deep in his chest. He was lying on his back again with his eyes closed. “Yeah. I’d seen better days. Better years in fact. I was an idiot.”

“You was heartbroken,” she said. “It’s okay, Arthur. Everybody does stupid stuff when they’re out of their right mind.”

Arthur opened his eyes, looking up at the long, stretching galaxies and the milky way. He spotted the Big Dipper. He thought about Dutch.

“Arthur?” said Mary Beth. “You fall asleep?”

He looked at her again. She was very pretty in her mild, freckled way. “No,” he said. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About Dutch,” he said. “And what you told me. How he said it was for them, when he killed Colm. You think—you think that could mean she was pregnant? Annabelle? When Colm killed her?”

Mary Beth curled up toward him, got closer so she could smell the smoke on his clothes. “Yeah,” she said.

Arthur took a very deep breath. “Jesus.”

“Poor Dutch,” she said, shaking her head. “Why wouldn’t he tell you? All those years ago?”

“My guess is he didn’t wanna talk about it. Talking about it, that makes it real. I never told no one about Isaac who didn’t already know, not until I told you a few weeks back, Mary Beth. That’s just…that’s just the way it is sometimes, you know?”

She nodded, seeming distant all of a sudden. “Yeah, I know.” she said. She went back to fussing with her hair, taking the plaits apart. “I’m sorry, Arthur.”

“For what?”

“For pressing you before. I trust you. I know you’ll tell me if something’s bad. I guess I was just feeling anxious, like you said.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I know it’s coming from a good place.”

She smiled.

They heard talking then, from the tent. They both turned to see but it was just Kieran, babbling something about horses, and raccoons, on and on in his sleep.

Arthur looked completely miffed. “Does he do that regularly?” he said.

“How would I know?”

“I don’t know,” said Arthur. “You seem to know a lot of stuff I don’t know.”

She laughed, looking up at the molten sky.

The next morning, Arthur was up early. His body was still stiff, but he was on his routine, heading out into the shallow wilderness, and he shot a couple rabbits for their breakfast. When he got back, it was just coming past dawn, and Mary Beth was still hard asleep in her bedroll, her hair flung to the pillow as a kind of masterpiece. He went down to the water a little ways. He sat on a heavy piece of driftwood and rolled a few cigarettes and tucked them into his pocket, and then he lit one and smoked as he began to skin and dress the rabbits for roasting. It was repetitive work, but it was satisfying. Arthur wasn’t really the kind of man who yearned for complexities in his daily life. He had enough going on inside his messed up brain, stuff he was only just coming to terms with in recent months. These sorts of quiet routines made him happy.

At some point, Kieran came down. He looked worse for the wear but also somehow better than he had the night before. The sleep had done him kindly.

“Morning,” said Arthur.

“Good morning, Arthur,” said Kieran. “Mind if I sit?”

“Of course not. How you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” said Kieran. He nodded, looking out at the water. It was kind of silvery. “My chest still feels like I ran into a damn elephant, but my head feels better.”

“Well that’s cracked ribs for you,” said Arthur. “I been there. You’re gonna need a month, at least, before that pain subsides completely. Just try to take it easy. You’ll be okay.”

“Thank you,” said Kieran.

They sat for a little while. Arthur finished up with the rabbits and stuck them onto a couple spits. He was thinking now about coffee.

“So,” said Kieran after a little while.

It was kind of loaded sounding, like he was meaning to get something off his chest. Arthur cleared his throat.

“You and Mary Beth,” Kieran went on, wringing his hands a little bit. “You guys are, uh…you’re getting married, huh?”

Arthur sighed. He took a couple mint leaves out his front pocket to chew on. He offered some to Kieran, but Kieran declined. “Yeah,” he said. “That, we are.”

Kieran nodded, shifting his weight, though this seemed to cause him pain. He bit it back. “Well, congratulations,” he said, drawing a little somber. “I mean, I knew you guys was close. I guess I didn’t know how close.”

Arthur shrugged, and then he looked right at him, squaring up. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Sorry for what?”

“Well, I’m not sure,” said Arthur, scratching his head. “I know—I know you was sweet on her. Or, at least it seemed that way.”

Kieran kind of laughed to himself. “Yeah. I mean, it wasn’t what you think. It ain’t hard to be sweet on Mary Beth.”

“I get that. I just—you know I didn’t intend to—when we went on that hunting trip. It surprised me, too.”

“Oh, I’m not surprised,” said Kieran.

Arthur looked up from his boots. “You ain’t?”

“Not at all,” said Kieran, oddly gracious. “I mean, Mary Beth is…she’s real nice to me. She was nice when not many folks was. I mean, you know how shocked I was to see Sadie, showing up guns blazing to save my ass?”

Arthur laughed. “Yeah, well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I think Mrs. Adler came more for the O’Driscoll blood than the rescue mission, but that’s just my interpretation.”

“Anyway,” said Kieran, glancing at his hands. They were bandaged around the palms. Colm had burned them. “Mary Beth is nice. She’s teaching me to read. She’s a good listener, and she gives me the time of day. Plus, she’s real pretty. And know I don’t mean no disrespect by it. It’s just true. But…I know she’s out of my league. I ain’t—she was always gonna go for someone more, well, someone more like you, Arthur.”

“Like me?” He spat the mint leaves into the sand. “How do you mean?”

“I mean, like, a hero,” he said. “Chivalrous-like, good with girls. Real in charge. Tall. Strong. Like the kind she reads about in her books.”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I ain’t no hero, son.”

“Well, you saved my life today.”

“And you saved mine,” said Arthur, “months ago. You didn’t know me but for a man who had hogtied you in the snow and let you stay tied to a tree for days. Starving, suffering, and still you saved my life. I regret my actions.”

“It’s okay, Arthur.”

“No,” said Arthur. “No it ain’t. I see things…different now, Kieran. Mary Beth, she has that effect, but it ain’t just her. She draws it out because she believes in me, but this…feeling. It was already there. I got strung up and tortured not too long ago, just like you, and by the same piece of shit no less. The way I see it, we’s equals. And I know that, because I got something to lose now, and that’s changed me. I ain’t a hero, but I am trying to be a better man than I was before. And in any case you desered rescuing from the O’Driscoll gang. You’re one of us now.”

Kieran was looking on, sort of speechless. “I—I don’t know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” said Arthur, lighting a cigarette, handing it to him. Kieran took it without question. “You don’t gotta say anything. We’re square now. You and me. Comrades, okay? I mean it. For once.”

Kieran didn’t smoke the cigarette. He just held it, like in solidarity. This, all of this seemed to make him tremendous with relief and joy. “I got it,” he said, bucking up. “Comrades.”

“Good,” said Arthur.

After a minute then, they got up to fix the rabbits on the fire. Kieran started making the coffee. Mary Beth was still sleeping, spectacularly so. It had been quite the ordeal, the night before, thought Arthur. She must have needed it.

“How old are you anyway?” said Arthur. “I’m just curious.”

“I’m twenty-one,” said Kieran.

“My word,” said Arthur.

“What’s that?”

“I just mean��you learn how to read, and then you need to get yourself out of this mess. You’d be a fine a ranch hand somewhere. You don’t need us.”

“It ain’t always about need, Arthur,” said Kieran, closing the cap on the percolator. “I don’t much like being alone.”

Arthur thought on this. It rang with him in an unsuspecting way.

“Where do you wanna get married?” said Kieran in another couple minutes. “In a church, maybe? In front of God and all?”

“Maybe,” said Arthur. “A church would be…good. Something like that would be real nice, I reckon. I ain’t never really been religious. But I think Mary Beth was raised Protestant.”

“Well, that sounds fine,” said Kieran.

Arthur cleared his throat then. He had begun to turn the rabbits over the fire. “Hey Kieran,” he said. He looked up at the early morning sky. It seemed filled with birds.

“Yeah?”

“You do a lot of good work with the animals around camp. That’s something I especially appreciate.”    

“I know.”

“Do you got a horse of your own?”

“No,” said Kieran. The coffee was just about done now. Somewhere nearby, there were the sounds of shuffling livestock, but you couldn’t see nothing. It must have been over the ridge. “I been saving though. Almost got enough.”

“Well, when we get back to Shady Belle, why don’t you keep Diana? At least for the time being, until you can afford a steed of your choosing.”

“Really?” said Kieran.

“Yeah,” said Arthur. “Why not. She’s clearly taken to you, and she ain’t the fastest, but she’s a good girl, real brave, and she deserves a good rider. She’ll serve you well.”

“Wow, I—but wait. I ain’t seen her since Rhodes. What if—what if something happened?”

“She’s fine,” said Arthur, waving him off. “She turned up at camp all by her lonesome. It’s what tipped us off you was in trouble.”

This seemed to bring him considerable relief. “Well, thank you, Arthur. That’s real generous of you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Mary Beth stirred then, in her bedroll nearby. The sun was up, and she must have smelled the coffee and heard the talking. She sat up, and she had a great big leaf in her hair. “Morning, y’all,” she said. “Is that coffee?”

Arthur smirked when he saw her. “Sure is. Good morning, sleepy head. You dream well?”

“I did,” she said. “The stars, they agree with me. Hey, Kieran.”

“Hey, Mary Beth,” he said. “You know, you got a big leaf in your hair.”

This surprised her. Arthur laughed to himself. “Oh,” she said, picking it out. “Thanks, Kieran.”

“Of course.”

“You should put it back,” said Arthur, still with that smirk. “I liked it there.”

“Yeah well, you would, Arthur Morgan.” She tossed the leaf into the sand.

When they got back to Shady Belle that afternoon, it was a comfortable scene. Many were sprawled out in the hot sun, taking naps, and Javier played his guitar down by the swamp’s edge while Karen sang. John and Abigail were out rocking on the front porch, a book shared between them. John was giving her some light lessons on reading.

“There you go,” he was saying. “You got it, Abbie.”

She blushed every time he encouraged her. “Oh, please,” she said. “I’m terrible.”

“You are not,” said John. “Just a little practice. That’s all you need. You’re doing great.”

She shoved him, playful. “Be quiet, John Marston.”

When Arthur and Mary Beth came up the yard with Kieran, they closed the book and came rushing. They were relieved to see everybody okay, but almost as if premeditated, Abigail had scooped up Mary Beth and drug her inside. “You’re telling me everything,” she said. Mary Beth was confused. In any case, she went along anyway, and the two of them were gone as quick as birds off the wire.

Meanwhile, Kieran was beat. Arthur eased him onto one of the old cots inside the mansion, the one where Mary Beth had used to sleep. Tilly came in, happy to see he was okay. She offered to keep a watch on him for a little while that afternoon. Pearson did as well. Hosea was sleeping in his room with all the windows open. Apparently, Miss. Grimshaw was on some sort of a tear with Dutch still at large. Most were eagerly looking to avoid her wrath.

With Kieran taken care of and the girls upstairs, Arthur and John went outside to the back porch to have a smoke. John seemed agitated.

“What’s with you?” said Arthur after a little while, lighting a cigarette from his pocket, handing it over to John. He then let one for himself. “And what’s with Abigail? Whisking Mary Beth off like that? Something going on?”

John took a quick drag, scratched at the scruff along his jawline. “Charles and Sadie stopped through this morning,” he said, “on their way into St. Denis. With Colm O’Driscoll’s dead body.”

“Yeah. Dutch killed him,” said Arthur. “Can you believe it? They’re going in for the bounty. Ought to be a nice little sum for us.”

“I guess,” said John.

Arthur took to eye-balling him then, trying to figure him through. “Something else on your mind, John?

“Yeah,” said John, huffing. “There is.”

“Okay.”

“Sadie said you was engaged,” he went on. “You and Mary Beth. You’re getting married?”

Arthur sighed, flicked the cigarette. It figured, that’s what Abigail was on about. “Sadie,” he muttered, surveying the lividity of the swamp, smoking.

“Jesus Christ,” John said, “were you gonna tell anyone?”

Arthur gave him a look. “Of course.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

“It happened like five days ago,” said Arthur. “We was just keeping it between us, just for a little while. A couple can’t share a goddam moment between them? We gotta paint it on a banner, wave it all over town?”

“No,” said John. “But you could’ve...you could’ve told me. I’m happy for you. And I wanna...I wanna know things.”

“You wanna know things.”

“Yeah,” said John, almost growing defensive. But then he calmed down, nodded, looking out at the swamps with his chest puffed up. “Yeah. I do.”

Arthur smiled. “Well, ain’t that nice.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. But you gotta understand. It ain’t been a lot of quiet moments since we got back.”

“I know,” said John. “And…it’s okay. I just—congratulations, brother.”

“Thank you.”

They smoked. They listened to the haunted noises of the trees. It was windy.

“So,” said Arthur, adjusting his hat. “You teaching Abigail how to read?”

“I’m doing my best,” said John, shrugging. “I mean, I ain’t you. I don’t do…poetry. But I can hold my own. We’re reading Huckleberry Finn.”

Arthur nodded. “You know, I think you might like poetry, if you just gave it a shot.”

John looked at him, real earnest. “You think so?”

Arthur smiled, became serious. “It’s a real thoughtful thing, you teaching her to read. She appreciates it. Even if she don’t say so.”

John sighed, looked around, still seeming a little stressed by all this. This husband stuff, father stuff. “Well, I’m trying,” he said.

“You’re doing fine.”

“What about you?” said John. “How are you doing? Charles said there was some bad business with Colm. That he threatened Mary Beth?”

“Yeah, he did,” said Arthur. They could hear Jack now, like he’d just woke up, yelling for Abigail out front. “She’s okay.”

“Are you okay?” said John.

“I’m fine,” said Arthur. “A little banged up, nothing serious.”

“No, I mean—I mean with Mary Beth being in danger. I know how you get.”

“How I get?”

“Yeah,” said John. “You get worried. You’re a worrier, Arthur.”

“I am not,” said Arthur, knowing full well he was lying. “Anyway. It’s okay now. And I need to talk to Hosea about some things but then me and Mary Beth, we’re thinking of heading up north for a little while. Leaving tonight, for a couple weeks.”

“Up north?” said John. “Where to?”

“We got a place we’d like to visit, just the two of us, in the Roanoke Valley. But then we plan on swinging back down through Emerald Station to stay at a bed and breakfast there. You and Abigail and the boy, you should come meet us. In about ten days time. We could go fishing, shoot the shit a little. Relax.”

John was surprised, scuffed his boot across the porch wood. “Meet you in Emerald Station?”

“You don’t have to,” said Arthur. “But we know the people who run the place and they’re real nice. They know we’re outlaws and they don’t make no fuss so, that’s good. Anyway it was just a suggestion. I thought maybe you might wanna get them outta here, even just for a couple of days. We’re still planning on leaving, on that permanent basis we discussed, but I think Mary Beth would like to know that we are not leaving too much chaos in our wake. I’m not sure I agree. But I’m compromising, for the time being, as long as things stay quiet.”

John seemed to think on this, nodded. He looked around. Out by the water they saw Pearson with his bucket and his rod and reel. He was getting into the canoe there. “Yeah,” said John. “Maybe. That might be nice. Meeting you all.”

“Let me know,” said Arthur. “Talk to Abigail. Like I said, just meet us there in ten days—from tomorrow, if you do decide. Either way, I’ll mark the place for you on a map. It’s a big homestead with a lot of rooms.”

“Sounds real good,” said John.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Abigail holed them both up in Arthur’s room and was trying to get Mary Beth to tell her all about Arthur’s proposal. Mary Beth was distracted. She didn’t much feel like talking, but she was trying to humor Abigail. She liked Abigail very much. She was glad they were becoming better friends. She looked forward to a life in which they got to do this everyday, safely somewhere else, with the boys nearby and the air so clean—all of it so clean.

“He just…asked,” she said, shrugging. She sat down on the bed. She was taking her braids out and then putting them back in again. “Or, more like, he suggested. We was lying here, and tired, and it was the end of the day, and he said, ‘Marry me.’ It was romantic in a quiet sort of way, in his way. Arthur ain’t a man of grand gestures, and I appreciate that. I think—I think I been living my life for a long time on the fictional pretense of grand gestures. So much books and stories. And I love stories, but this felt real. It felt like it should feel. Like it’s made to last.” She sighed, shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m doing a bad job explaining.” She looked down at her boots.

“I think you’re explaining just fine,” said Abigail. “You got such a beautiful way with words. It’s beautiful. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks,” said Mary Beth, straightening the pillows. “That means a lot.”

“What’s the matter?” said Abigail, coming to sit next to her. The small bed creaked beneath their weight. “Ain’t you excited?”

“Of course,” said Mary Beth. “I love Arthur.”

“Then why you seem so glum?” said Abigail. “Mary Beth? Is it because of what happened? I heard it was bad. I heard it was Colm O’Driscoll back on his shit. Fuckin asshole. But he’s dead now. Old Dutch saw to that. You don’t have to be scared no more. You’re safe.”

Mary Beth smiled at this. She was playing with the hem of her skirt now where the threading was coming apart. “I know. I ain’t scared of no O’Driscolls, Abigail. He wasn’t even much to see. I been in tighter spots this very month.”

“What is it then?”

“I just—I got a lot on my mind.”

“You can tell me,” said Abigail. She scooped up her hands. She had such a warmth about her. You’d never know till you got close enough.

Mary Beth took a deep breath. She met Abigail eye to eye. “I’m running…kind of late,” she said.

“Late?”

“My period. It’s late.”

Abigail got quiet. She straightened up real good. She lowered her voice. “How late?”

“Like a week, maybe a little more? I just know it shoulda come by now.”

“How you feeling?”

“I feel fine,” said Mary Beth. “Why?”

But then, they heard Arthur. He was coming up the stairs, his familiar footsteps, and he opened the door. “Mary Beth?”

“Hey,” she said, smiling, teeth and all.

“You almost ready, baby doll? We should ride if we’re gonna make it past the marshes by dark. Otherwise I wanna wait till morning.”

“Sure,” she said. “I’ll just—I’ll be one minute.”

“Okay,” he said, looking bright. “Hey, Abigail.”

“Hey, Arthur.”

He smiled then and went away and closed the door behind him.

Mary Beth sat very still. Abigail was blushing. “Baby doll,” she said, mimicking his deep voice. “That’s your baby’s daddy, Mary Beth. Boy oh boy he loves you. Old sad eyes Arthur Morgan. I never seen him so goddam happy.”

Mary Beth nudged her. “Shh,” she said, her stomach doing backflips.

“When are you gonna tell him?” said Abigail.

By now, Mary Beth’s hem had come completely loose. She’d have to resew it by hand. She took a deep breath, nervous for some reason she could not put her finger on. It wasn’t the possibility of the baby making her nervous. It was something adjacent to the baby, but it wasn’t the baby. What was it? “Not till I know for sure,” she said.

It brought the whole world down into perspective for Mary Beth. Very, very fast.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 113 Results

The chapter poll closed with 1,355 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,319 Responses

While still highly rated, last month’s chapter was a hard act to follow. The number of 5 ratings were down nearly 17%.

I find myself getting waaaaay religious whenever a new chapter comes out

Floch is annoying, Gabi is annoying, Eren is annoying, but I can't wait to see where this all is heading.

I could feel the ground shake and hear Zeke's agonizing screams and almost, almost really felt for the poor guy, falling victim to something worse than the angel of death itself.. gosh, I don't think a manga ever gave me such goosebumps before..well done Isayama, well fucking done.

Everytime I think Floch has reached the maximum level of assholery, he ups the game to inconceivable levels. I still can't believe poor Marlowe had to die for this.

Can I have a break from suffering? Thanks.

Forget opening a tea shop, Levi should open a sushi bar instead

Seriously how about Levi just go solo the whole world and win because he's so damn OP and save all Eldians and just end the story in the next episode

JUST TELL ME HOW ZEKE AND EREN MEET ALREADY!!

WHAT WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT? 1,331 Responses

It was hard to choose a favorite moment. “All of it” was the top pick (21.5%) followed by “Levi’s face when he resolved to kill his comrades” (17.1%). Third place was “Levi slicing Zeke’s feet and legs” (10%).  Levi’s Angel of Death moment was the most popular write-in. In retrospect it should’ve been included as an option.

Levi looking like a goddamn Angel of Death.

Nothing I am invested in happened this chapter, but Levi emerging from the trees like an avenging angel was pretty cool!

This is the First chapter where I have trouble choosing one Option. This was a real rollercoaster.

Levi kicking Zeke’s a** is quality entertainment

Kinda bummed by this chapter, though it was good. As a Mikasa stan (lmao) I was looking forward to seeing her post-emotional destruction, but we didn’t see her face vs. the rest of the 104th which makes me think she isn’t crying, but has gained some resolve and will pull open the bars or some shit. Also FUCK Floch.

Thank you Levi for finally ripping Zeke apart.

CHAPTER 113 IS CALLED “SAVAGERY.” WHICH CHARACTER DID YOU THINK BEST EXEMPLIFIES THIS TITLE? 1,322 Responses

Close to 70% of the fandom believes Levi was the most savage this chapter. Floch was a distant second (18.2%). The most popular write in was “All of them!”

I think the title "Savagery" does refer to Levi, because I think he can be the monster he needs to be to survive. And I love it.

Paradis island. The whole chain of command is out of the window; the residents are becoming savages (those who drank wine becoming mindless titans, trainees beating up Shadis, Yeagerists promoting anarchy, etc.) They are becoming literal savages (they're all sociopaths because they're a little more savage than others lul)

Keith Shadis & Floch  would be the obvious choice. But I interpret the title as describing the overall savagery of war, as seen in all the different parties.

Walls were built to protect titan from Levi, amen

While it very much could be a direct description of Levi's brutal actions aganist Zeke, I believe everyone engaged in this conflict is being savage one way or another by inheritence, as war in itself is savagery.

Zeke did nothing wrong. Levi did nothing wrong. Floche is the worst.

SINCE HANGE AND PIXIS HAVEN’T SPOKEN, HOW DID PIXIS KNOW ABOUT THE WINE? 1,321 Responses

Most respondents (42.8%) believe that Pixis does not know about the wine specifically, but deduced that Zeke's scream had something to do with what happened. 24.8% believe that he is just a smart dude, but 23.2% think that he might have been tipped off by Yelena.

Pixis knows alcohol. He knows when something's up.

Imo Pixis , Eren and Zeke are all working together , so Pixis gained knowledge of the wine from Eren , although after he drank it.

He was willing to surrender to the Yeager brothers, maybe Zeke or Kiyomi told him beforehand.

P A T H S

SINCE IT’S BEEN CONFIRMED THAT PIXIS AND NILE HAVE CONSUMED THE TAINTED WINE, DO YOU THINK THEY ARE DESTINED TO BECOME TITANS? 1,325 Responses

While the majority is unsure (42.7%), more than a third (34.4%) believe Nile and Pixis are destined to become titans.  Only 22.9% think they will die another way be just fine.

I really hope Pixis doesn’t become a Titan I’ve always liked him.

I think that Zeke has a plan, probably he wants that Levi takes him to Sina with the Paradis high commands (Pixis, Nile, etc) to use his scream with they to turn them to titans. We saw in this chapter that Zeke's scream doesn't work with enough distance, that's the reasson that Zeke wants to go with them.

LEVI HAS LOST ANOTHER SQUAD, THIS TIME BY HIS OWN HANDS. HOW BADLY DO YOU FEEL FOR LEVI? 1,327 Responses

79.4% of people responding to this question: Levi lost his entire squad (...again). He didn’t lose 20% of his squad. He didn’t even lose 50%. He lost his whole squad (...again). Look at what it’s done to him. You can see the death in his eyes, but he keeps on going. This is why Levi is one of my favorite characters.

If I have learned nothing else, I have learned that the world has destined Levi to be a soloist. Every time he has a squad something goes wrong.

Man, Levi's face was just pure resignation. He knew he had to, once again, he had to take lives in order to protect others. Gut wrenching, but just completely real.

Ffs, just let Levi retire. Like, look at the PAIN in his eyes when he remembers the conversation with his subordinates. It's even worse when his expression changes to "knowing exactly what to do".

I think he will be correct that everyone’s deaths amounted to nothing in the end

That panel if Levi falling while all his comrades are trying to kill him; this guy can't catch a break

THERE’S BEEN SOME TALK IN THE FANDOM ABOUT LEVI BEING TOO OP. WHAT DO YOU THINK? 1,333 Responses

53.3% of the fandom agree that Levi is OP but they are a-ok with it.  20% thinks he’s powerful and not OP at all. Only 10.3% of respondents indicated that Levi’s extreme power hurts their enjoyment of the series.

It doesn’t matter to me that many think Levi is OP; whether you agree with that or not, come on, give Levi a break. He at the very least deserves a happy ending after all he’s been through

Levi is too overpowered. I didn't want him to die here but at least I want him to have a more difficult fight. Him getting a serious injury for example. Every fight he had he didn't even get injured (except against the FT and that was because of Mikasa). This is one of the reasons that for me Levi is a VERY boring character.

Levi destroying Zeke was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. I think he stands a fair chance against Eren if he still has thunder spears.

Seeing all the Levi hate, because of the ""OP"" thing was kinda unexpected and annoying to me lol Without Levi's help for example in the female titan or RtS arc wouldn't be some characters where they are right now *cough* Mikasa would be dead *cough* I think Zeke underestimated him and that's was the deal at least.

Not sure the arguments about Levi being too OP make much sense. He was in the forest of giant trees, which has already been established as the best environment to use 3DMG. I really thought Levi was toast after last chapter just because Zeke utilizing the element of surprise, but I forgot how strong he was. Good to see him in action again.

I know a lot of people have had issues with Levi being too OP or with Levi being too cruel uwu but ffs have we forgotten who this man is? Levi fucking Ackerman, who is *supposed* to be OP af, who has the curse of having one of the worst fates in the series. Seriously, everybody around him is dying, he was born in a shit world that just keeps getting shittier, and he is no close to that pristine tea shop than he ever was, possibly ever will be. Sure he's Hella strong and survives all his battles with barely a scratch, but does it give him a happy life? No it fucking does not.

Levi isn't OP you guys are just mean

LEVI=GOD

DO YOU THINK LEVI’S QUICK DEFEAT OF ZEKE WAS UNREALISTIC? 1,332 Responses

Just over half the fandom (50.8%) say no, Levi’s quick defeat of Zeke was not unrealistic. Only 8.6% answered “Yes” to this question.

I know 90% of the Fandom has a hard-on for Levi but I wish the fight with zeke was more even.

Levi's fight against Zeke was fun but at the same time it felt like some sort of repetition of him fucking Zeke up back in RTS (I guess that was part of the purpose, lol), so it ended up not being very appealing to me after a couple of days.

Being Intelligent and being Smart are different things and yes Zeke might be good at planning strategies but he is a dumbass when it come to fighting and understanding other people.

Seeing Levi vs BT 2.0 gave me some serious highs. Was literally shaking while reading the leaks. I just realised how Levi truly is the perfect foil to someone like Zeke. The world could be crumbling, but give Levi any task, and you can trust him to deliver it 99.9% of the times, with the 0.1% being but the benefit of the doubt.

BEFORE READING THIS CHAPTER, WHO HAD YOU THOUGHT WOULD WIN THIS ENCOUNTER? 1,327 Responses

At nearly 40%, a majority of respondents thought that Levi vs Zeke Round 2 would be a more even fight than their first encounter, with a close 34.7% thinking that Levi would prevail again. Only 21.1% believed Zeke would win.

Anyone who thought Zeke had any chance of facing Levi and winning mano a mano (even with titans) is not reading the same manga I am.

The "Farewell, Heicho" leak made me think Zeke won.

I thought Zeke's plan wouldn't be enough to kill Levi, but enough for him to escape. I still wasn't surprised lol.

If it came down to a straight battle, I knew Levi would win because we've seen him win against greater odds. The difference is that I didn't think the encounter would become a straight-up battle so quickly, I assumed Zeke would have some other distraction or escape plan other than literally just yeeting out of the scene

I hoped Zeke would escape or Levi would at least struggle instead of Ackerhaxing his way through 20+ Titans and still managing to catch up to an escaping Zeke and effortlessly defeat him, but no.

The outcome was fairly expected considering all the factors that stood in Levi's advantage (big ass trees, thunder spear, zeke's miscalculationsTM/underestimation...etc) so I wasn't surprised when he easily whooped his ass.

Bolting away while screaming was such a solid plan. I'm shocked it didn't work.

IF ZEKE HAD EXPLAINED HIS PLAN TO LEVI, DO YOU THINK THERE’S A CHANCE LEVI WOULD’VE UNDERSTOOD? 1,327 Responses

42% of respondents think it’s possible that Levi might have been open to Zeke’s plan, but equally possible he wouldn’t have listened. Nearly 40% are certain that Levi has no interest in anything Zeke has to say. A small 13% of respondents think that Levi would have been open minded if open communication had been present.

whether Levi would have "understood" the Jeagerbros' plan is irrelevant. I think Levi still lives by "make the choice with least regrets" and so would not have changed his mind, even if he had understood their motivations.

Poor zeke , Poor Levi , we wish Levi will understand zeke's point of view...😔😔

WILL LEVI FACE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES FOR STOPPING ZEKE AND DELAYING THE YEAGERBRO’S PLAN? 1,324 Responses

Half of respondents believe that Levi will not be able to bask in his victory for long before the story throws him another wrench. 30% aren’t sure if he will or not and 15% are confident that Levi’s victory is solid and will be rewarded.  

I believe Levi has now somewhat of an advantage over the Yeagerists as he's holding the key and core to their plan captive, without Zeke the plan just won't proceed. Unless Eren suspected something might happen to Zeke and has a plan B up his sleeves, Levi has the upper hand now, and he can easily finish Zeke off any second. If he were to encounter Eren & co. on the way there's no doubt he'll use Zeke as a bargaining chip. I'm exceptionally excited to see how things will play out between them.

God I hope not, but knowing Yams, something terrible awaits Levi after the brilliance of this chapter.

not sure but SERIOUSLY people need to stop with the lies and secrets.

I think something we're not expecting might happen.

Why would he? If there are any negative consequences coming his way, it is because he didn't kill Zeke . Zeke seems like the type to come up with double plans -- for example, Levi could unintentionally be leading Zeke to his meetup with Eren.

I wouldn't say "negative consequences," but he definitely stalled their plans. Considering the fact that no one other than the two know what those plans are, I feel like Levi's victory over Zeke would allow some space in the story for these "plans" to finally be revealed and explained, whether it be to the characters in the story, or to us readers.

Zeke can regenerate anyway so I think he might get away with it

I'm afraid for Levi. He did what he did to Zeke with the best intentions, but I fear he's now inadvertently ruining the plan the brothers had so carefully orchestrated. I'm afraid he's gonna face Eren in a next chapter, who's going to do everything to prevent his brother from being eaten.

WHERE DO YOU THINK LEVI IS HEADING? 1,317 Responses

Historia’s Farm was the most popular option with nearly half the vote (49.7%). Shiganshina was second with 20%. In retrospect we should’ve included Rakugo as a potential destination since the theory that he’s heading there to feed Zeke to Connie’s mom is gaining popularity.

Historia's Farm or Ragako

Levi's smart enough to figure out there were probably more individuals on the receiving end of the tainted wine.  With that in mind, he'll be very cautious with where he goes to ensure no more transformations occur.

Unless he has some titan serum in his pockets going straight to Historia would be a bit pointless. Meeting with Pyxis first seems likely.

Taking Zeke to Shiganshina or anywhere where everyone else are is too risky. Zeke could get away and pull out his screaming card and shift onto his beast titan form.

The horses don't seem to be moving. So maybe he's just chilling out in an open field

To Erwin’s grave

Dear snkpolls. How about cutting out with this unfunny Zevi bullshit for sociopaths and including real ships some people actually like instead? I mean pairings. Not the actual ships. I don't want Titanic in the next poll.

Honestly, the Zevi getaway option gave me a much needed laugh after the chapter.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LEVI’S SLICE AND DICE OF ZEKE’S LEGS? 1,330 Responses

A tiny fraction (3.1%) of the fandom was upset or disappointed with Levi’s actions, the rest were fine with it. “I don’t blame him” and “cruel but understandable” comprised the thoughts of 70% of the fandom. 20% wish Levi had done even more.

I thought it was unnecessarily cruel and completely in-character for Levi. God I love this man

He didn't want Zeke to transform, what's so difficult to understand?

Honestly I’m not sure why zeke was so surprised that Levi came out alive lmao. Like he’s literally seen - up close and personal - what he’s capable of. He’s humanity’s strongest ffs.

I get it and it's hard to say there's not a little justification, but I think it's a very natural human response to wince at ANYONE suffering enormous amounts of pain. Most of us would cringe even if we were witnessing Hitler himself being tortured, no matter what we might think right now. It's just a natural, innate reaction to human suffering.

Unnecessarily cruel and it's gonna bite him in the ass.

I have not been able to eat celery since

DID ZEKE’S INTERNAL MONOLOGUE AFFECT YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT HIM? 1,328 Responses

44% of respondents were not swayed one way or another about their stance on Zeke after hearing more of his perspective, while 29% continue see him as a total enigma. 23% have started to see Zeke more positively.

Zeke shows he lacks fundamental understanding of human compassion

BABY ZEKE LOOK AT HIM ISAYAMA WHY DO YOU DO THIS

Zeke is officially an idiot and Eren is a bigger one for trusting him above his friends.

I kinda don't want Zeke to have some tragic background. Zeke as the series Joker who just wants to see everyone destroy each other no matter who they are, that is a far more interesting direction for me than more of the same 'Marleyans aren't evil, just misunderstood' rubbish that we have been force-fed for over a year

Zeke deserves life, love, and his glasses.

One other thing that really pleased me in this chapter is that Levi managed to give a reply to each of Zeke's annoyingly patronising statements. Zeke has always made me furious with his ""aww you naïve creatures, you don't understand"" bit, and I adored the fact that Levi actually shut him up while he fought him. About goddamn time someone shut up that monkey.

Zeke worrying about his glasses is a big mood because as a fellow glasses wearer, I would do the same

DO YOU BELIEVE SHADIS TAUNTED THE NEW RECRUITS IN AN EFFORT TO PROTECT THEM/HANGE? 1,329 Responses

A huge majority (74%) agrees: Keith Shadis is a good dude, and wanted to protect the recruits and/or Hange with his boast. A minority (7.6%) believes he severely overestimated himself (oof), while everyone everyone else (18.4%) was not sure.

I didn't before, but I do now, you monsters!

Respect for Shadis for what he did.

Also, somebody please kill Floch already.

Shadis deserves only good things

Shadis is sick, anyone who says he isn't is trippin

I wish Shadis had head butted the shit out of Floch

I can't believe that Shadis roasted Floche to a crisp and sent him to the Burn Unit lolololol

YOUR THOUGHTS ON FLOCH ARE BEST SUMMED UP AS: 1,318 Responses

Floch will not be winning any popularity contests in the near-future, with 67% of respondents selecting the most negative options: that they want him to burn (44.5%), or that they just simply love hating him (22.5%). In contrast, only about 10% of respondents view Floch favorably:  3% say they are fully on his side, while 6.4% still reluctantly support him.

A character such as his is destined to die while Eren looks at him emotionless. Eren doesn't give a shit about him and this little boy will learn it the hard way. He's a prime example of the "brainwashed, vengeful" character who dies a horrible death.

He's just a pawn.  I have no feelings for pawns.

I'm really sad that Shadis got pulverized, but do still think that Floch is trying to help Paradis the only way he knows how (even if a tad misguided).

Floch is correct about needing to be more proactive, but he & Yeagerists are going about everything the wrong way. I do not support the Yeagerists.

Shadis' assault was absolutely unnecessary and savage for all the wrong reasons. Floch is basically on a power trip here and it was sickening to read. I hope he dies a slow, painful death, that dickwad.

I don't think there's a definitive answer as to who's right here. Marley's coming and if Eren is the right leader, then fine. But it's not given.

I hate him, but wonder if he might have a point

I wish someone would use P A T H S to rip the fabric of their reality open and that that would lead to Mount Doom, just so they could then toss Floch's ass into it. That would be great, thanks.

Now I'm not saying anyone is truly evil in snk... but Floch is sprinting in that direction so fucking fast.

WHICH CHARACTER(S) DID THIS CHAPTER MAKE YOU FEEL MOST SYMPATHETIC TOWARDS? 1,320 Responses

Levi easily takes first place this time around after losing yet another squad, this time at his own hand. He’s followed by Shadis (did he really deserve that, Floch??), Hange, and the rest of the 104th. Zeke’s short flashback garnered some empathy as well.

Levi, Zeke, Mikasa, Armin and the 104th, Hange, Shadis, Every single character in this chapter. Even Floch and the cadets.

I feel a lot of sympathy for Falco, waking up naked in a robe in front of strangers. What, they were in THAT much of a hurry?

I feel sympathetic to all of them - even Zeke a tiny bit. This whole thing is a clusterfuck of mamoth proportions.

Zeke might join the list, but depends on next chapter, I need his flashbacks to give me a valid reason to why I should sympathize with him, which I think they will as his past looks just as crappy and angsty as the other characters'.

Levi, Zeke, Mikasa, Armin and the 104th, Hange, Shadis, Eren. He looks miserable even though he's SOOO FREEEE~

IN LAST MONTH’S POLL, ONLY 17% OF RESPONDENTS BELIEVED THAT EREN IS IN CONTROL OF HIS ACTIONS. WE WANT TO KNOW IF THIS CHAPTER CHANGED YOUR OPINION. WHAT BEST DESCRIBES HOW YOU VIEW EREN’S CONTROL OF HIS ACTIONS? 1,324 Responses

The percentage of respondents who believe Eren is fully in control of his actions jumped from 17% to 23% this month. 29% percent still believe that he’s fallen victim to a combination of Zeke’s manipulation and previous titan holders’ memories. 16% remain confused and don’t want to make assumptions either way, 14% believe that the titan power is controlling Eren, and a small 8% actually think it’s the other way around and that Eren is manipulating Zeke.

I think what he said to MA is ultimately to protect them, but like Connie said - the eren we’ve seen since Grim Reminder 2.0 in Liberio isn’t the eren we once knew.

Eren is and always has been kind of a jerk. I think he's 100% free to make his own choices. However, I wouldn't discount the idea that the memories he's inherited and whatever selective knowledge Zeke has imparted are influencing those decisions. They're in no way forcing him though. This is all 100% organic Eren BS.

He is being only influenced by the previous titans, which is messing up with his mental state. This causes him to make decisions not regarding human life out of wanting to fight for freedom.

Eren is the master manipulator! Mark my words, guys!

Zeke and Eren are both misguided. Perhaps the rumbling is a lie, or they have a plan that only they would get, but I suspect that the rumbling isn't a simple concept, just like Marley and the Helos story.

Eren is definitely being influenced by previous titans. After he consumed the hammer titan some changed about the way he acts.

He's definitely not being controlled by Zeke, but I still think there is something off/wrong with him.

Eren's doing what he thinks is best for his people, and chose this path based on the memories he gained, the experiences he's had, and the information he's come to know. Its possible some of this information was skewed by Zeke, but other than that Eren is in control

I personally believe he is being influenced by the many titan powers he holds as well as the many memories of the people that held these titans before him however, I believe that these powers are not completely dominating him and he’s able to make his own decision. Eren is also probs not being manipulated by Zeke as I believe that these two bros will stay together.

Influenced to an extent but still in control in that the various factors we're considering has warped how he thinks the situation should be handled. I feel like Eren thinks his unpredictability gives him the most control because he'll probably try to do what's most advantageous on the fly as forks in the road appear (because he never really struck me as someone who can spearhead planning ahead). He's in control of his actions but I think he's still incredibly susceptible to manipulation by those who can plan as a result.

DO YOU THINK EREN IS REALLY WORKING WITH THE YEAGERISTS? 1,322 Responses

Half of respondents believe that Eren is actively working with the Yeagerists in order to achieve a larger goal. 17% aren’t convinced he has anything to do with them aside from tagging along on their road trip. Almost 10% of respondents believe Eren will eventually backstab Floch and isn’t on their side at all, and 9% feel that Eren has been the one giving orders all along.

Maybe he is, but I still have some hope for him that what he did was to protect the people he loves. I hope he still cares about them.

Eren is using them (he doesn't give a fuck about them) and the Yeagerists are using Eren. Eren will backstab Floch. I don't think Eren's aware of everything Floch's doing while using his name but, at the same time, if Eren "cared" about what they do he would ask/wonder... he's too dead inside for that tho

I hope he backstabs them but damn am i confused and a lil angry about this situation

Whether he is working with them or not, he did nothing to stop them but rather act as their leader and that makes him partially responsible for their actions.

Dammit Eren you better not be behind Shadis' beating, he's a good man

I have this feeling Eren doesn't really give a titan's ass whether they're on his side or not, as long as Big Bro got his back he will carry on with the plan either way. They sort of just formed this faction on their own but Eren isn't stupid not to take advantge of that. After all, who knows what might happen and keeping his own small army at arm's reach sure is helpful. But Eren did mature into this very prideful and confident rebel with that "aint need nobody bitch" attitude so.

They seems to be a different faction led by Floch, and Eren is exploiting this.

I think he is working with Zeke (whether they have the same end goal or not is something I’m not sure about) but I don’t think he is working with the Yeagerists and doesn’t even fully know about them or what they are doing

Zeke and Floch are on one side and think they are working with Eren. Eren is currently working with them solely as a means to reach an end and will go his own way after they initiate the rumbling.

PREDICTION TIME!! WHO IS MISTER XAVER? 1,328 Responses

Almost all respondents (81.9%) speculate that Mister Xaver is the holder of the Beast Titan that preceded Zeke, and 25% believe he was affiliated with Eren Kruger in some way. 21% think that he is a family friend of the Jaegers, while 8% believe he was an actual member of the family. There are all sorts of other creative ideas floating around about who this bespectacled mentor figure might be:

Titan Scientist

Pitcher and pinch-hitter for the Liberio Warhammers.

Zeke’s father figure

Zeke's only childhood friend

I think he’s the person who inspired Zeke’s plans

A member of the royal family

Kiyomi and Kruger's ally in the plan to restore Eldia in order to destroy Marley, hated by the three of them

I think he might be an “Ackerman” or someone from the Hizuru clan that secretly remained in Liberio to watch over the members of the royal family there (Dina, then eventually Zeke as he grew up). I also think he was working with Kruger to “groom” Zeke for the ultimate plan that is beginning to unfold now in the most recent chapters (whatever that plan may be idk) (just as Kruger’s influence and memories “groomed” Grisha, and perhaps Eren for what’s happening now as well) P A T H S.

Xaver runs a school for mutants.

PURE SPECULATION, BUT DO YOU THINK XAVER INFLUENCED ZEKE TO TURN IN GRISHA AND DINA? 1,324 Responses

Just over half of respondents believe that Xaver had some influence on Zeke, and that influence contributed to his choice to turn his parents (and the other restorationists) in to the Marleyan government. 33% are not sure, while ~16% believe that Xaver had no hand in that decision.

It would be interesting to see Zeke's flashback, I think you could be onto something, that Zeke himself is a victim of childhood indoctrination, and was manipulated by Xavier (a true honorary Marleyan) to turn in his parents and be loyal to Marley. He clearly thinks of him very fondly, and he seems to be the only one confirmed to be in Zeke's good books. He may or may not be the former beast titan, but I think that however he died is a major reason and key to understanding Zeke's current actions and main motive.

Since he has been shown comforting Zeke after he snitched on his parents, their relationship obviously goes way back and it drives me to think he was a close family friend/relative whom Zeke found some kind of comfort in to battle the neglect, pressure and brainwashing of his parents. From the final panel it doesn't look to me that Xaver wanted Zeke to become a warrior at first, hence probably why he infuenced him to turn in his parents, but obviosuly sth happened that changed that. I do believe he's the ex-BT, even if he wasn't, surely his death was a major factor in why Zeke decided to become a warrior. Dang it I should stop writing nonsense I just wanna KNOW WHATS UP WITH THAT MONKEY MAN

WHO DID IT BETTER? 1,326 Responses

Almost half of respondents thought both our Ackermans brought the thunder equally! Levi, however takes the title this time, with 31% choosing him over Mikasa when it comes to blowing up titans. 18.8% thought she still did it best. 

OUR TRANSLATORS APPEAR TO HAVE BEEN CHANNELING STAN LEE. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SFX FROM THIS CHAPTER? 1,300 Responses

“Splat” edged out “ba-BOOM” for the win with just under 20% of the vote. “BSHHT” was  third and “baKRAK” a close fourth.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER? 1,330 Responses

These last few hard hitting chapters have amped up the pace of the story, and most people are looking forward to further plot progression. 46.2% and 42.7% are hoping this comes are some sort of flashback related to Zeke or the Yeager bros, respectively. Historia and the warriors bring up the rear, and there’s always people hoping for something more specific in the write-ins:

I miss Reiner and Historia...bring them back please.

this chapter lacked a significant amount of Reiner, and i am tired of not seeing him

I'd take an entire chapter of Levi chopping Zeke up, please

Show me my Mikasa!

Missing Option: Mikasa, Armin, and the 104th

Literally a thought from Eren.

Gabi and Eren Talk

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ Give Annie ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Someone killing Floch. Anyone. Please.

Let it be contain one panel of the best girl Yelena 😭

Prison break for the SC and equipping the 3DMG in preparing to battle

More Floch Greatness. All Hail The New Eldian Empire!

I can safely assume next chapter will be 75% Zeke flashbacks which is what I've been waiting for.

JUST GIVE US ANSWERS ISAYAMA!!!!!

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 1,286 Responses

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

Floch needs to — and I can’t stress this enough — die an unholy death.

Zeke should not have grown his facial hair back before all his skin lol

A very aptly named chapter, where there is savagery and violence, without glorifying or romanticising the brutality. Violence obscures understanding and communication, as seen with the inability for Levi and Zeke to understand each other, despite them being more similar than they realize. Levi kills all his titanized comrades but he is emotionally and mentally unravelling — it is not true victory, only loss and fading of hope. Floch’s violence through abuse of power only breeds cruelty and the reiteration of oppression — it is not true revolution, only regression. Zeke and Eren’s actions intentionally bring war upon Paradis — it brings death and destruction. And yet violence is necessary - it is an unavoidable truth in a world that refuses to listen, only fight, because of fear. The themes in this chapter have so many layers to them; it was a tough one to read because of how dark and brutal it was, but very thought provoking. As readers we look forward to action and fight scenes, but here Isayama deliberately and skillfully delivers it in such a raw and uncomfortable way.

Floch will forever be Manneke Pis. Shadis has been through enough. Eren is hot but needs to die. Falco needs some clothes. Where was Gabi? I fear for Historia's unborn child. Warriors when?

Regarding Zeke, seeing him tear up while thinking of Xaver hurt me a little bit. It's one of the few times (the first time, even? not sure.) that we've seen him show any strong attachment and fondness (and borderline remorse) with regards to his actions. He isn't the "absolutely evil" character in this series.

This kind of chapters are like "ok" to me but frustrating as hell. It will be nice to see it animated in 2030 nonetheless.

I still thinks Eren is a jerk but i still love him. Plus: Floch can be canceled i don't care. Plus+: I want my babies Armin and Mikasa free of the jail, They don't deserve that crap from Eren.  

Seeing Levi vs BT 2.0 gave me some serious highs. Was literally shaking while reading the leaks. I just realised how Levi truly is the perfect foil to someone like Zeke. The world could be crumbling, but give Levi any task, and you can trust him to deliver it 99.9% of the times, with the 0.1% being but the benefit of the doubt.

I think it was a waste of time if I'm being honest. We learned nothing new other than from the few pages with Zeke.

I think this chapter made me realise that I don't really care about Levi anymore.

I waited until the last day to fill this poll out because I honestly don't know how I feel about this series right now. While there's plenty of entertainment to be found in these recent chapters, I don't think I really like the direction the story has taken. I'm bored. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I was surprised to see people genuinely being concerned about Levi surviving after the last chapter/when spoilers were dropping. Levi got plot armour thicker than a tank. He already took out a whole row of titans at far worse odds. He wasn't going to die.

I'm excited for what's coming. I wanted a high stakes story and I'm anxious, but in a good way. Still giving Eren the benefit of the doubt, he has to have info that he's not sharing (from having the memories of 3 titans).

I'm so dead inside due to having an awfully emotional week of being very sad about Zeke and celebrating the survival of Levi. I love both of them so much, this chapter exhausted me greatly.

It was nice to have a more action-packed chapter this time around, I've been missing those. It looks to me like at least half of next chapter will consist of Zeke's childhood flashback, then after that I would like to see Historia again. Please Isayama it's been half a year I miss my queen! :((((

Oh my god Xavier yes yes yes I thought Isayama had completely forgotten about the “mystery man”

I'm so glad Levi won and got Zeke tied up! Now Armin's got to find a safe way to do a titan jailbreak! Hange needs allied more than ever!

No Pieck, no party. Things are just heating up, and it’s still somehow a shitshow?

It's nice to know that characters such as Levi exist in a very morally grey world, and that of all the people given extraordinary powers and abilities, it's someone with that kind of mindset. It makes me feel positive that the series would end in an overall good note, even if this may include some heartbreaking deaths and turn of events.

I liked finally seeing a little more inside Zeke's head.

THIS is how you subvert expectations. Introduce that Levi is watching Zeke back in 106 and doesn't trust him then, and then showing their conversation in 110 to further building the tension. Because of the reveal of Zekerets and that Zeke had been working with Eren as well as the fact that Levi won his first encounter against Zeke - it makes sense from a storytelling standpoint for Zeke to win his next encounter against Levi. 112 plays into this expectation due to Zeke's sudden attack on Levi with a cliffhanger heavily suggesting that Levi would die. Instead 113 was the complete opposite, with Levi utterly decimating Zeke and making the story take an unexpected curve. This chapter is brilliant.

The story is progressing extremely fast right now. The Endgame arc is approaching its climax with all the players taking their stance in preparation for the Ragnarok…

Floch needs to be taught not to miss around with adult affairs that are way beyond his basic childish comprehension. I don't hate the guy but I will be satisfied to watch him shit his pants in a fiasco made of his terrible life choices.

okay but when will best boy jean finally read flock the riot act

there is no transparency in this arc, only suffering

[likeshipsonthesea]

13 and 28/ nurseydex for the trope thing! ( i chose those at random... sorry if its something horrible sdfjsd)

from the au mash-up promts, 13. Detective AU and 28. Proposal Fic. gotta say for completely random that’s real fun 

warning for gun tw and some minor discussions about racism in reference to police

mhmm i can’t really see nursey becoming a cop so i’d love to make him a crime journalist that shadows dex but that’s been done so let’s say that nursey is just weirdly always around when crime happens

like the bodega he goes into for 2am energy drinks and packaged desserts gets robbed, and he has to stay until four being interviewed by the grumpy red head who takes very meticulous notes

and he gets on the subway and the woman next to him gets her purse stolen, and nursey has to sit down with the sketch artist (lardo freelancing?) to describe the guy bc it just so happened that he looks like a particularly grumpy detective (like, ginger and freckles) so nursey was staring at him for a while before he stole the purse

and it just keeps happening, like he stumbles across the path of a breaker-and-enterer and has to be interviewed, he sort-of-stops a potential assault and stays with the crying woman until dex and his partner (ford PLEASE imagine her in a detective’s uniform with the white button up tucked into jeans and arm holsters, like i get that’s not actually what they wear and arm holsters are probs totes impractical, but my bi ass DIES at the prospect) show up, and like nursey just happens upon SO MANY CRIMES and it’s not his fault that he tripped on a step in the sidewalk and ended up knocking over the guy dex was in pursuit of, he’s just clumsy

so after like SO MANY of these criminal meet cutes, ford finally gets dex to actually ask out the cutest, most frequent witness he’s ever had, and nursey, of course, says yes

and then it’s a montage of dates (all of them, thankfully, crime free) and maybe on their second or third date they like talk about nursey’s issues with police and dex listens, he comes from a cop family maybe in this au and he’s just always had this Deep Respect for cops but he understands not all of them are good, they listen to each other and understand each other, and nursey no longer has a problem with his boyfriend’s job, and when he starts feeling weird again they talk about it

and maybe there are issues down the line, dex works a lot of late nights and they disagree on some things, but at the end of the day they both have the same kind of hearts they both care so much and they love each other…

so nursey buys a ring. (dex also has a ring, but he hasn’t found the right time and nursey deserves the right time, but also there’s never gonna be a time perfect enough for nursey, so nursey beats dex to it.)

nursey plans out the perfect proposal–he gets reservations at the kind-of-shady little restaurant down the street from their apartment that they always stop at when dex comes off a long shift, nursey starts the night by taking them to central park and going for a walk, they take a cab back to the restaurant, nursey has the speech all planned (he’s not gonna get down on one knee bc he knows dex hates a spectacle, but he figures no one will notice if he just casually pulls out the box and puts it on the table, it’s lowkey, it’s chill, it’s great)

and nursey starts saying, “Will,” and dex wrinkles his nose bc ‘why are you using my real name???’ and nursey is about to tell dex how much he loves his stupid cold feet when he gets into bed at 3 in the morning and his cute pink nose when he gets passionate about things and how he banters with nursey’s mom and talks to his dad about puzzles and nursey just really loves him okay and–

and a guy walks in with a gun and tells everyone to get down on their knees.

(now, sorry, but isn’t this just perfect??? crime got them together and now crime is keeping nursey from proposing??)

and dex doesn’t have his piece on him–it makes nursey uncomfortable to carry it around when he’s out of uniform, so he leaves it in a locked drawer in their apartment, the bullets in another room– so he obeys the guy waving the gun around (the safety is on, the guy seems nervous, it’s probably not going to get violent but who knows)

and it turns out that the reason the little restaurant they love is so sketchy is bc the owner’s son is part of a gang and uses the restaurant as a meeting space after hours. and now the rival gang has forced its new initiate to rob the place to get in. nursey nearly rolls his eyes at the cliche.

dex, despite not having his piece, is still a cop, so he tries to talk the guy–a kid really, he’s so young, so scared– down, get him to surrender the gun and go down to the station to chat. he mentions amnesty for giving names of the higher ups of the gang, brings up protective services, everything he can to get the guy to calm down

and it works, surprisingly. the kid hands over the weapon, the on-duty cops come and take him to the station, everything works out fine, the restaurant owner and the son will be investigated, it’s great

they’re walking home after their (complementary, with the day-saving) meal, quiet, hands tucked into coat pockets bc maybe it’s a little chilly out, and nursey has his hand wrapped around the ring box, fiddling. he made the perfect moment and it was ruined. maybe it was a sign. maybe they just have bad luck. whatever.

and nursey realizes that he doesn’t care about the moment, he cares about dex and he decides, right there, not to wait any longer. he turns to dex, stopping on the sidewalk, and dex turns back, eyebrow raised, and nursey has the ring box out and open.

“nursey?” dex stares, unblinking at the box. he’s a little bi boy from rural maine. he never thought he’d be here, living in nyc dating a beautiful, brilliant boy, and now it turns out that boy wants to marry him?

“i love you,” nursey says– and yes, maybe he’s tearing up, boy’s got emotions okay let him be– “i had all these things planned to say but– but life doesn’t go as planned, you know? and i don’t know what i’m gonna be doing in a year or five or ten but.” he swallows. “i know i want to be doing it with you.”

dex continues to stare (and you would too, nursey in the hazy light of the sidewalk at midnight, beautiful and full and yours but all his own, too)

“will you marry me?” nursey asks, but the last word is swallowed by dex’s mouth on his, and the ring is forgotten in the hazy of their salty, desperate, kiss. it doesn’t matter, they are together, they are love, that is all the matters–

and then someone swipes the ring from nursey’s outstretched hand and dex goes running down the street after him. fucking new york.

[bytheangell]

What We Believe

(Read on AO3)

Alec isn’t due back home for another two hours, but when things at the Institute were quiet for once, Jace offers to stay and watch over the building (promising to call him the second something happens, if anything were to happen). Alec decides to take the extra few hours and surprise Magnus with takeout for dinner from his favorite Indonesian restaurant in the city.

Unlocking the door to the Loft and letting himself in, Alec stills in the doorway when he hears two voices floating down the hallway from Magnus’ apothecary. It doesn’t take him very long to place the second voice: Lorenzo Rey. What’s he doing here? Magnus didn’t mention any meetings or clients today, and Alec is certain he would’ve remembered if Rey’s name came up.

Placing the bag of food down on the dining room table Alec takes a few steps further into the Loft. At first he thinks nothing of it, certain that Magnus will tell him all about whatever it is later anyway… in fact, perhaps if he’s being particularly obnoxious Alec can step in and pull the ‘HotI’ card to get rid of him sooner rather than later.

He stops walking entirely when he hears what they’re talking about: Him.

“End your relationship with the Shadowhunter, prove that your loyalties aren’t divided, and the position is yours once more.” Lorenzo states in no uncertain terms.

Alec begins to roll his eyes. As if Magnus would ever--

“...break up with Alec and I get to be the High Warlock again?”

Alec’s heart stops beating in his chest.

“Yes.” “Consider it done.” Magnus’ reply reaches him, and it takes everything he has to force his legs to take several steps backwards, out of the hallway and back into the main living area. He feels numb, and his hands are trembling as he grabs his keys and leaves before he can hear any more, takeout forgotten on the table.  

--

He almost goes back to the Institute, but that’s too obvious. Of course it’ll be the first place Magnus would think to look for him. Instead he forces himself on shaking, unsteady legs to the only place he can think of where Magnus would never think to look, and where he’d (hopefully) be met with a sympathetic, and non-judgmental, ear.

Which is how Alexander Lightwood finds himself sprawled out on Simon Lewis’ sofa, bare feet dangling over the arm and head tilted back towards the ceiling, staring at it with so much intensity one would think it somehow held all of the answers to the universe. By the end of his recounting of the conversation he overheard a few stray tears sting in Alec’s eyes before spilling over to dot the red fabric of the sofa a darker crimson. The Shadowhunter rubs them away hastily, convincing himself they’re out of shock more than anything else, and Simon very obviously notices but doesn’t say anything. Not about that, at least.

“That doesn’t sound like Magnus,” Simon declares, after hearing Alec’s story.

“It doesn’t matter what it sounds like - I was there. He said it.” Alec sighs. “Can I even blame him? That position is everything to him, and now that he has his magic back…”

“He wouldn’t do that to you, though!” Simon insists.

“Maybe not before now, but he’s about to.” Alec shifts his head to the side to look at his phone as it rings - and he sends it straight to voicemail - for the 7th time that hour.  

“You know when you click it through like that the other person knows you’re hitting ‘ignore’ right? If you want Magnus to think you actually aren’t here you have to let it ring the whole time.” Simon points out, trying to be at least a little helpful. “That’s why he just keeps calling right back.”

As if to emphasize this, the phone rings again almost immediately, and Alec makes a strangled noise of building frustration before throwing the phone across the room, wincing at the sound of something definitely breaking as it collides with the wall.

“...or you could do that.” Simon says very slowly, suddenly a bit more concerned than he was a moment ago.

“What am I going to do? I can’t go back now. I can’t walk in there knowing he’s going to-- that it’s going to be--” Alec can’t even bring himself to say the words. He doesn’t want to imagine a life without Magnus by his side.

“It isn’t going to be over,” Simon fills in for him. “Look, I know I’m not your best friend or anything. You only came here because no one would ever think you’d come to be in the first place, and I barely know Magnus even though he keeps saving all of our lives, but you two? You’re Relationship Goals, alright? I know it. You know it. The entire Shadow World knows it. He went to Edom and gave up his magic to help you, do you really think he’d end things now over a stupid title from a guy he hates?”

Alec has to stop and think about that, because it’s a pretty good point, actually. It doesn’t explain anything he heard Magnus say, but it at least gives him the slightest sliver of hope that not all is lost.  

“And if he really did mean it-” Simon continues, and Alec feels his stomach lurch at the words, that hopeful feeling disappearing immediately. “-then you have to fight to get him back. You can’t just mope around my apartment and give up.”

“I never thought I’d say this-” Alec starts, swinging his feet over the front of the sofa to sit up straight and slide his feet back into his shoes. “But you’re right, Simon.”

Simon practically beams. “So you’re going to talk to him and get your man back? Not that you even lost him yet, but-- you know what I mean.”

“Yes, Simon. I’m going to talk to him.” Alec walks over to his phone, picking it up and turning it over in his hand to examine the shattered glass front. An experimental poke with his finger turns the screen on, but it’s unusable.

“Let me know how it goes!” Simon calls after him, just as the door shuts behind him and Alec is on his way back to Magnus’ loft. A place his mind is quick to call ‘home’ when he thinks of it… though for how much longer, he supposes he’s about to find out.

---

Instead of turning the key in the lock, Alec hesitates in the hallway before finally knocking.

“Now’s not a good time,” comes a clearly distraught voice from inside, not even bothering to ask who it is.

Part of Alec is tempted to take it as a sign and leave, but instead he ventures a quiet, “Magnus?” Through the door.

A moment later the handle turns and the door swings open. “Alexander,” Magnus breathes out, and Alec is surprised to feel arms immediately wrap around him in a warm embrace. He tenses, and Magnus feels it, letting go and stepping back slowly. “Alexander, what’s wr-”

“Stop,” Alec says. “Don’t pretend we both don’t know what this is about. I heard you with Lorenzo.”

Magnus frowns. “I thought you might’ve, when I saw the food on the table after. I’m sorry you walked into that.”

Alec gapes. He feels lightheaded, half-expecting the very ground he stands on to fall out beneath him where he stands unsteadily.  “So it’s true? You aren’t even going to try and deny it?”

“You heard what you heard, but I didn’t mean it. I would never-” But now it’s Magnus’ turn to fall off, speechless as he realizes what’s happening. “You came here thinking I was going to break up with you.” Magnus says it with the lilt of a question.

“Aren’t you?” Alec counters, defeated. “You could finally have it all back like it’s supposed to be. Like it was before I showed up and ruined everything… with Soul Sword, and Jace and Lilith and Edom… why wouldn’t you leave me to get back everything you ever wanted?”

Alec keeps his eyes resolutely downward, missing the look of pity that passes across his boyfriend’s eyes, and the sadness over the fact that Alec could ever value himself so little in the grand scheme of Magnus’ life. It isn’t until Alec feels Magnus’ hand under his chin gently guiding his gaze upward that he looks into Magnus’ eyes again.

“Alexander,” Magnus’ voice is soft. Comforting, but also commanding of his attention, making sure he’s listening. Really listening. “You are everything I ever wanted, and everything I never imagined I could have. I wouldn’t give you up for anything, least of all some shady deal with Lorenzo Rey.”

Alec allows a small, hopeful smile to twitch up at the corners of his lips. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Then why did you agree to it?” Alec can’t help but ask, still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Because I was going to agree, and then see how you felt about pretending to break up for a week or two until the official reassignment ceremony is over. Then I would promptly inform him we were never really broken up in the first place after there’s not a single thing he can do about it.”

Alec’s brows furrow together. “Wouldn’t they just take it away again?”

Magnus shakes his head. “No. Stripping someone of the title, if not willingly transferred, requires a vote and a meeting with the other High Warlocks. And after his lackluster performance as High Warlock of Brooklyn from day one with Lilith and the Ley Lines, I can’t see that working in his favor. No, right now he’s trying to save face and make me miserable at the same time.”

“Oh.” Alec can’t help but feel a little embarrassed that he ever doubted Magnus’ intentions. Also that he’d have to admit to Simon later that he was right. By the Angel, he’s never going to hear the end of that. “I’m sorry I thought -- I mean, I didn’t really believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. But after everything you’ve been through I guess I thought maybe…”

“I won’t pretend I’m not hurt that you thought I’d toss you aside that easily,” Magnus admits. “Just promise me next time you’ll come to me first?”

Alec nods. This isn’t a mistake he’ll make twice.

“You know what sold it?” Magnus asks suddenly, filling the silence.

“What?” “You. From the night I broke into his house. He told me all about how quick you were to sell me out for the ‘good of your people’ to turn me against you.” Magnus smirks. “You were quite convincing, it would seem. Shall we give those acting skills an encore?”

 Alec considers the idea for a moment and nods. To get Magnus his title back, it’s the least he can agree to do. There’s a small, matching smirk on Alec’s face when he agrees. “Okay, I’m in. Let’s give them a break-up they’ll never forget.”  

[sunshinetrappedinourhearts]

Nathmarc month day 29: Fantasy AU

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491026/chapters/39420499 Or, in my case, a vampire AU LMAO- hey, it’s fantasy right...? Oh man, this was nice to write. I had to stop it at some point though, because it was getting ridiculously long (again... stop giving me AU’s lol) PLUS, I wasn’t sure if it would be appreciated, as in I chose to not write out... certain things. You’ll get what I mean. Anyways. Here ya go. c: @nathmarcnovember BY THE WAY! I’m in Paris right now (I’m from the Netherlands myself) for Y/CON and I’ll be cosplaying Marc with my girlfriend as Nathaniel! c: Which is super nice of course, but yeah, this is why day 30 will be delayed, probably. I’ll try to write it tomorrow (one day late), but we’ll see! 

The day Nathaniel arrived, it was grey and rainy. The sun was nowhere to be found, and it made the whole town look ominous and a little shady. It made him shiver. Although that could also have been caused by the cold of the early autumn that year.

Absently, he wondered why on earth he had chosen to attend college here again, instead of a normal big city where all his former classmates had gone to. But then he remembered that it was one of the most prestigious art schools in the country, and that it would definitely help him grow.

He probably just had bad timing; in the coming days the sky would surely clear up a bit. He should just stop being so prejudged and give the small town a chance.

***

It didn’t clear up the next few days, and his first day of college it was even cloudier than the day he arrived, yet there was no rain. He was carrying an umbrella, staring at the trees already losing their leaves, they looked sad and lonely, and Nathaniel felt like capturing them in a drawing. He was imagining the way he could do that, maybe using charcoal pencils, or ink… when suddenly, he hit something hard with his shoulder and he quickly looked up into a pair of the brightest green eyes he had ever seen.

‘Ah, sorry!’ he said, grabbing the umbrella he had just dropped. ‘I was lost in thought…’

The boy in front of him seemed to be about the same age as him. He was just a little taller, and he had black hair tied in a messy ponytail. Nathaniel noticed he was wearing fingerless gloves and black nail polish. It contrasted strongly against his very pale skin. But it were the eyes that captured Nathaniel’s attention. They were so intensely radiant that he found it hard to look away. As if they were enchanting him. Never before in his life had he seen such dazzling eyes.

‘N-no, my bad,’ the boy said, pulling Nathaniel out of his daze, he then noticed the other was awkwardly scratching his head, taking some papers he had apparently dropped on the ground.

Nathaniel quickly leaned down to help him. They were lined pages, scribbled full of words, and it was tempting to read, but Nathaniel quickly gave them back to him before he could.

‘Thank you…’ He smiled a bit, putting the papers back in the map he was carrying.

‘Are you attending the art school here?’ Nathaniel blurted out.

‘Oh, I am, yes, I’m starting today. I’m in creative writing. What about you?’

‘2D and digital art,’ Nathaniel said, smiling softly. ‘Starting today as well. I specialize in comic and cartoon style, actually, but I also do traditional art.’

‘That’s amazing,’ Marc answered. ‘Maybe I’ll see you in the joined lessons some time, then.’

‘Joined lessons?’

‘Yeah, they have those, making people in different art divisions cooperate with each other to make big projects.’

Nathaniel felt a wave of excitement run through his body as he heard those words. Especially since there were a lot of things he wasn’t too good at, like script writing.

‘That’s amazing…’

He looked at the other boy, then quickly reached out his hand to introduce himself. ‘I’m Nathaniel,’ he smiled.

‘Ah, I’m Marc…’ Marc took his hand, shaking it shortly before letting go, a hint of pink on his cheeks. ‘It’s nice to meet you…’

***

Marc’s prediction happened sooner than Nathaniel expected, already during the first week he spotted him during a joined course.

Their eyes met for a second, and Nathaniel got lost within them, quickly pulling away when their teacher spoke.

Apparently, they were going to do a cooperation between creative writers and artists , and they’d be allowed to choose their own end product, for example a picture book, a visual novel, or...

A comic book.

It had been Nathaniel’s dream for ages to create a comic book, and he desperately hoped that this would finally become reality.

Marc appeared beside him only a  second after their teacher told them to find a partner, and Nathaniel almost tripped as he was still getting up.

The other boy grabbed his shoulder, and grinned a little sheepishly, a light blush on his cheeks. ‘Do you… erm… want to work together?’

***

That day, when Nathaniel walked towards his apartment, he didn’t notice the dozens of lit up eyes watching him from a distance.

He didn’t see it the next day either.

Or the next.

Or the following.

***

‘Nathaniel…?’ Marc asked a few weeks later. They were in the final stage of the comic book they were working on. It was about a superhero named Ladybug, one that always inspired Nathaniel during his middle and high school years, when he still lived in Paris.

He’d always wanted to create a comic about her, to honour her, and of course, to finally bundle all the story ideas he had about her.

Marc had happily agreed, and ever since, they had worked together perfectly, their skills complementing each other.

‘Yes…?’ he answered, looking up from the sketch of the final few pages he was working on. Marc was currently coloring the pages and filling in the speech bubbles.

‘I’m just wondering, where in town do you live…?’

‘Oh, in the outskirts, near the forest,’ he answered. ‘Why do you ask? Wanna work at my place sometime?’

‘Ah, that, too… i-if you want to, that is!’ Marc’s cheeks reddened a bit and Nathaniel found it cute. ‘But that’s not why I asked… It’s because, well… I just want to tell you… to be careful walking home… and… don’t go too late…’

Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Why’s that?’

Marc averted his gaze, and an uncomfortable sense of foreboding settled itself in Nathaniel’s stomach. The other boy was acting a bit strangely and it didn’t suit him.

‘…strange things have been happening in town, lately… Have always been, actually, but… it’s back, kind of…’

That confused him even more. ‘I can’t follow you…’

Marc looked up, locking their gazes carefully. Nathaniel hold his breath, because Marc’s eyes were mesmerizing… so deep… so…

‘J-just, be careful, okay?’

Nathaniel nodded, but he still didn’t understand what the writer boy was talking about.

***

Two weeks later, he found out what Marc meant.

He was on his way home from a late lecture, walking through the quiet part of town, almost reaching his apartment, when a hooded figure jumped in front of him, his face hidden.

Nathaniel’s heart stopped for a moment, and he took a step back, uneasiness tingling through his limbs.

The figure walked closer, slowly, and alarmed, he turned around, only to find an identical person on the other side, closing him in.

Another appeared.

And another.

And Nathaniel dropped his bag, his hands shaking.

What… what was happening…?

What were they doing…?

He had no money, no belongings, nothing!

What was it they wanted…?

Absently, he thought of Marc’s words a few weeks ago, and wondered if this is what his writer friend had been warning him for.

Chewing on his lip, he let his eyes flash from the one person to the other, searching for a way to get out, but there was none.

He was a goner.

Done for.

He didn’t know what was happening but-

He was trapped-

His heart was pounding painfully loud against his chest, and he thought for a moment that maybe, he’d die of that first before these strange hooded people could get to him.

Maybe that would be better.

Then, as one of them took another step closer, only a few feet away from him, he noticed their unnatural glowing purple eyes, and they made him think of Marc’s-

Before he could think anything more of it, the person moved too fast for Nathaniel’s eyes to follow, and he breathed-

He was dead-

No doubt-

He was gonna-

Gonna die-

Lost and forgotten-

Forever-

But then, as he opened the eyes he didn’t even remember closing, there was another figure in front of him suddenly, hissing at the other guys.

‘Get away, this one’s mine.’

Nathaniel blinked.

That voice-

‘Oh yeah? Do you have proof?’ the purple-eyed one called. It was a male voice, and the owner of it had stepped away a bit.

‘We’re four against one, kid,’ one of the others said.

Nathaniel moved a little closer to the figure that was apparently, for God knows whatever reason, protecting him.

Maybe it was a bad idea-

Maybe he’d be slaughtered by this one soon instead-

But-

There was no other option-

‘One, yes, one you cannot beat, you lowlifers. Do you have any idea what family I’m from?’

‘Rhy, that one’s from the Anciel family, we gotta be careful!’

Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows, he had no idea what it meant, but the purple-eyed guy, who seemed to be the leader, took another step back and cursed under his breath.

‘Well, you’re lucky today, asshole,’ he growled. ‘But don’t think you can fool me. That one is not marked. So if you want to keep him, you better do that.’

The figure in front of Nathaniel didn’t seem impressed. ‘Get away. Before you start to regret it.’

And they went.

Nathaniel breathed, falling to the ground, only now realizing how stressed he had been from the whole situation. Grabbing his bag, he just inhaled and exhaled, gathering his thoughts.

What-

What on earth-

‘Are you… alright… Did they hurt you…?’ the voice belonging to the figure in front of them spoke. It was too familiar, too…

He turned around, and Nathaniel’s eyes widened.

‘Marc…’

The boy’s eyes seemed to sadden for a moment as he took off the hoodie of his shirt, revealing his face. He reached out his hand and Nathaniel took it, without hesitating, getting up.

His hand was warm and his touch gentle yet firm, and somehow, Nathaniel wanted to cry a little bit, because he felt like he was safe.

Marc however, still looked saddened, and he didn’t understand why.

‘Y-you saved me, thanks…’

Marc shrugged. ‘A little, but…’

‘But?’

His eyes flashed from left to right, and then he looked back at Nathaniel. ‘…I’ll walk you home, okay? I-if you want to, I… can come in and… explain…’

Nathaniel nodded, and they walked to his home in silence. He stayed close by Marc’s side, their shoulders almost touching.

***

Not much later, they were in his apartment, the both of them a warm cup of coffee in their hands. Nathaniel had finally been able to relax, but his mind was spinning with questions.

‘So… what did you want to explain to me…?’ he asked.

Marc took a sip of coffee, and then looked at him, his eyes very sad once again. Nathaniel preferred them happy, and shining with excitement.

‘Those figures that cornered you… they were… vampires…’

Nathaniel frowned. ‘They what?’

Marc looked him in the eye, dead-serious.

‘Vampires.’

He moved back a bit, because, really…?

Was he really joking in a moment like this?

When he had been so afraid, so scared?

He was just… mocking him?

‘…if this is your idea of a joke, I seriously misjudged you. It’s not funny.’

Marc’s eyes widened. ‘I’m n-not joking. I just… This is why I didn’t tell you everything when I warned you… You wouldn’t believe me..’

For a moment, Nathaniel thought to himself. If, but only if vampires really existed, then the whole situation suddenly wouldn’t be so strange anymore, right?

Because no money… no wealth… no things…

There was literally no reason for the four figures to have attacked him.

Unless… they had wanted his blood.

Literally.

But yeah, vampires didn’t exist so it was all total bullshit.

‘That one’s from the Anciel family, we gotta be careful!’

The sentence one of the figures had said about Marc suddenly flashed through his mind, and he looked at Marc carefully, squinting his eyes.

‘If that’s true… does that… mean… you’re a vampire as well…?’

Marc averted his eyes. And then slowly, very slowly, he nodded.

Nathaniel furrowed his eyebrows at first because-

It couldn’t be true-

It was ridiculous.

Totally ridiculous.

But then he looked back at Marc, carefully, observing his expression.

It didn’t change. He was trembling slightly, and his eyebrows were cast downwards, in a sad frown. He didn’t meet his gaze.

No freaking way-

Nathaniel chewed on his lip.

‘You… You are… serious.’ It sounded half like a question, half like an observation.

And Nathaniel stood up, taking a step back.

Because he had never seen Marc eating-

Or drinking-

Except his coffee just now-

And his skin was so pale.

His eyes so ridiculously bright.

Could it seriously be…

He took another step back.

And Marc finally looked at him, standing up.

‘I’m not lying. I swear…’

Nathaniel stared.

His head spinning.

‘Show me.’

‘W-what?’

‘Y-your fangs.’

Nathaniel felt his cheeks heat up and he quickly averted his eyes, but then decided it was best to keep looking at him.

Marc was blinking.

For a while, he was silent, then he walked up to him.

Nathaniel wanted to get away, but at the same time, his mind was convincing him that Marc was probably joking because vampires were all one big legend, but he was also a little scared, but also he trusted Marc and-

He was a mess.

Marc, in turn, stopped walking when they were only inches away from each other, and he opened his mouth, a little awkwardly.

And Nathaniel saw.

He wasn’t kidding.

‘T-then… I never saw you eating because…’

Marc closed his mouth. ‘Because I don’t need it. I don’t need drinks as well.’

He nodded at the empty cup of coffee. ‘I can drink, or eat, but, I just don’t taste anything. And it’s not… really enjoyable, but, well, I can…’

‘S-so… those… other…’ Nathaniel frowned. ‘…other… vampires… they got away, because…?’

Marc sighed. ‘Because I belong to a pretty powerful family… I’m a bit of an outsider there, but, well, I still carry their name, and they turned me, so… I can use it in situations like this.’

He scratched his head.

‘The problem is that it won’t help forever… In your case…’

‘Why is that…?’ Nathaniel sat back down on his couch, and Marc carefully followed his example, and Nathaniel noticed he put a considerable amount of distance between them.

Was he… uncomfortable…?

Nathaniel found that he himself, wasn’t… so much. Because if all this was true, Marc was still Marc, and he was still his partner, still a great writer, and well… He saved his life… Especially if those other… people were vampires.

‘Because they probably noticed I was lying.’

‘About… saying… I w-was… yours…?’ Nathaniel felt a little hot suddenly, and he started fumbling with his hair to focus on something else.

‘Y-yeah…’ Marc said, his cheeks pink as well.

Maybe his room was just pretty warm, yeah, that was probably it.

‘Vampires… they can… well… kind of… Mark their… partners… As in… they can pretty much claim a human… or other vampires… as their own… It’s a special process. When you undergo it, other vampires can’t touch that particular person anymore. The only person who can drink that person’s blood is the vampire who marked them. I kind of… implied you were like that to me, but vampires can usually tell whether a person is marked or not. And you’re not, so… they’ll come back for you at some point.’

‘Why me?’

Marc looked at him, fumbling with his gloves a bit. ‘…your blood smells… special…’

Nathaniel breathed.

‘To you, as well?’

‘Y-yeah. But don’t worry, I’m completely under control. I don’t drink much blood. Only blood we have stored at home.’

But you still think my blood smells special…

‘I’m not scared,’ Nathaniel said. ‘You’re Marc. No matter if you’re vampire or human.’

His eyes lighted up for a bit, and a small smile played around his lips. ‘T-thank you… That… means a lot…’

Nathaniel smiled.

Marc then got up. ‘I’ll get going… Just… I’ll walk you home from now on, okay…? I… It’s not that I think you’re weak or something, just…’

‘No, it’s okay. Thank you. I understand. That’s… kind of you. I’d appreciate that.’

Nathaniel couldn’t imagine walking that dark road alone anymore, not when thirsty vampires could appear from every corner. Now that he knew… He shivered.

***

Starting the next day, Marc walked him home every day. Usually, he’d stay for a while, drinking a cup of coffee, because according to him, it was the one thing that could actually close to make him taste something.

Weeks passed, and Nathaniel started feeling guilty to make the other boy walk him home all the time, and something was gnawing his mind… stealing his thoughts.

One day, he finally found the courage to ask.

‘Marc…?’

‘Hm?’ The other boy looked up from his notebook, he had been working on an assignment for class.

‘I uh… you… erm… You are walking me home every day now, and… I appreciate it a whole lot, and I like your company, but… isn’t it… a lot more convenient…’ he paused, taking a deep breath, and then shot out all the remaining words at once. ‘…ifyoujustmarkme.’

Marc dropped his pen. ‘W-what?’

Nathaniel breathed, his head was burning, and he wondered vaguely if it was now as red as his hair. He looked at Marc carefully, but his eyes were so widened, so shocked, and his cheeks so red that Nathaniel felt even more embarrassed and he averted his gaze, chewing on his lip.

‘Well… If you… mark… me… like you t-told me… then… you d-don’t need to worry so much anymore… right?’

Marc inhaled deeply. ‘Do you have any idea what you’re asking?’

‘Yes? I mean? I guess? Probably?’ Nathaniel blinked.

Marc picked up his pen again.

‘Nathaniel… If I… give you my mark, then… it won’t just mean you can’t be preyed upon by other vampires anymore… It also means that… I will be unable to drink any other blood than yours… Meaning I… have to continue drinking your blood… because it will be the only one that will satisfy me… Until the mark disappears… Meaning… until you die…’

Nathaniel’s head was spinning. ‘O-oh…’

‘See? I can’t do that. I can’t hurt you like that,’ Marc said softly, and he smiled a bit as he continued writing.

Nathaniel didn’t answer, thinking hard.

But he didn’t find an answer that day.

***

A week later, he did.

‘Marc. Drink my blood.’

The poor writer boy choked on his coffee, almost spitting half of it out. Then, he looked at Nathaniel, his eyes big and shocked. ‘W-what?’

Nathaniel didn’t know what words were anymore. He searched hard for them, opening his mouth, closing it again, and Marc waited until finally, he managed to blurt them out.

‘Then I know what it feels like. So I can decide for myself if I’d find it a bother if you… mark… me…’

Marc inhaled.

‘I-I n-never d-drank… s-someone’s… blood… directly…’

‘Well, then it’ll be a first time for you as well…?’ Nathaniel smiled a bit, embarrassed, his cheeks burning.

‘N-no. I can’t. I can’t do it,’ Marc said, getting up, grabbing his notebook and pen, but they fell on the ground as he awkwardly tried to gather them together.

Nathaniel tried reaching for it, to help him, but he clumsily scratched his hand across the table.

Cursing, he grabbed his trembling hand.

It was bleeding.

Carefully, he looked up to Marc.

His eyes were… glowing.

And as soon as their gazes met, he took multiple steps back.

Nathaniel chewed his lip.

Was he…

Was it…

His blood…?

‘…Marc…?’

‘I should leave.’

He was about to walk away, but Nathaniel realized that this would probably be the only time he’d get a chance like this.

Why though…

Why on Earth…

Did he want Marc to…

To…

So desperately…?

He didn’t know.

Or maybe he did.

But he didn’t want to acknowledge it.

It didn’t matter-

He quickly moved towards the writer boy, standing between him and the door, locking their gazes.

‘Nathaniel…’

Marc’s eyes were trembling, and so were his hands.

Nathaniel hold out his hand. It was bleeding, a little bit, but there were still small drops of blood trailing down his arm.

He took a deep breath.

‘J-just try. Alright? I trust you.’

Marc groaned, grabbing his head. ‘Don’t ask this of me… please…!’

‘But you want to, don’t you?’

‘You have no idea-’

‘Yes! Because I don’t know! If you just- Then I’ll know.’

Marc grabbed his hand, and Nathaniel breathed.

Slowly, very slowly, Marc pulled his hand closer, and he didn’t look him in the eye as he licked the trail of blood from his arm.

Nathaniel shivered.

And he saw Marc’s eyes widening.

‘…it’s… good?’ he breathed, barely a whisper.

Marc let go of his arm, and locked their gazes.

‘It… it is… Which is why… I won’t do that again…’

He left. Before Nathaniel had moved from his frozen state, unable to stop him.

***

Some months passed, and they never spoke of the incident again. Until one evening, Marc walked him home like always, and suddenly, the group of four vampires reappeared.

Nathaniel’s heart sank, and he froze in his steps. Vaguely, he registered Marc moving in front of him protectively.

The purple-eyed vampire spoke first.

‘So, what’s the deal, Anciel? This human, he’s not yours, is he?’

‘Then why can’t we have it?’ another of them asked.

‘Yeah, it’s blood smells pretty good, and he lives alone, a perfect victim.’

‘Get away,’ Marc said.

‘Not until you give me a clear answer.’ The purple-eyed vampire took some steps closer to Marc, facing him. He was a little bit taller than him, and Nathaniel’s heart was pounding loudly against his chest.

‘I haven’t marked him yet,’ Marc answered.

A loud chuckle sounded, and unconsciously, Nathaniel moved a little closer to Marc, who in turn moved even more in front of him.

‘If you haven’t marked him yet,’ the purple-eyed vampire said. ‘He is as much yours as he is ours. So you get away. We’re four, you’re one. An Anciel or not, you can’t win.’

‘Get. Away,’ Marc growled. And Nathaniel couldn’t see his face, but the sound in his voice was enough. He waited, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, trying to concentrate on something else instead of the vampires surrounding them.

For a second, the leader of the vampires backed away. Just one step. And then he snorted.

‘Then mark him. Right here.’

‘You know perfectly well that I’m not going to do that in public,’ Marc said. And Nathaniel absently wondered what the hell he meant by that. Was it that intimate…? His heart started to pound a little faster, and he wasn’t so sure anymore what exactly the cause of it was.

Marc took one step forward, in the direction of the purple-eyed vampire. Who took one back.

‘If you want to fight me, be my guest. But you know about the Anciel’s fighting techniques, do you not?’

Silence.

‘Then you know you don’t stand a chance. And you know four against one is not something you can be proud of.’

The purple-eyed vampire made a tch-sound, and then turned around.

‘You better make truth of your words, Anciel. You can’t simply claim a human smelling that good without marking him. I’ll hunt him down and find him when you’re not around.’

They walked away.

And Nathaniel breathed.

***

When they arrived at home, Marc turned around, and looked him in the eye, shy at first, but then serious. And he took a step closer.

Nathaniel held his breath.

‘Nathaniel… I… I want t-to… make you… mine…’

He released his breath. And his face was on fire.

‘Wow, that sounded…’

‘You c-can take it in two different ways. I mean it in both,’ Marc said, he was blushing.

‘W-what…?’

‘I’m… I… want to protect you… And… I promise to never hurt you… I’ll only drink your blood… when it’s absolutely necessary… In that way. But… this is also a confession…’

‘C-confession…?’

‘I’m in love with you,’ Marc blurted out, and Nathaniel’s heart soared.

His mind was spinning with what?! and but- and how- and since when- and that can’t be true- and a whole lot more that he couldn’t identify at all but-

Something within his chest felt like a fluttering ball of fluff, and it was soft and warm, and Nathaniel didn’t dislike it.

Only his cheeks were uncomfortably warm and he probably looked like a freaking tomato-

How did talking work again?

‘Nathaniel…?’

Marc looked worried, and small, and his posture was insecure and his hands were trembling.

He was nervous-

He should give him an answer-

But how did he feel?

Nathaniel only knew that his heart felt a little lighter whenever Marc was around. That he was kind and talented, and a little shy, but that was more cute than annoying. That his eyes were mesmerizing and his hands were soft. That he didn’t remember anymore what it felt like to be without him. That they were the perfect team they had ever dreamed of. And that he wouldn’t mind Marc drinking his blood… at all. He didn’t mind him being a vampire. Because he was Marc. And Marc was the only thing he needed.

‘I-I…’

‘You don’t need to answer me immediately,’ Marc said quickly. ‘I can still protect you the way I’m doing it right now. I’ll fight when it’s necessary. I’ll win.’

‘N-no it’s… I’m feeling a bit… overwhelmed… But not in a bad way…’ he carefully looked at him, and smiled. ‘I… I need some time to sort out my feelings, but… I like you a lot, Marc… I… think I might be in love with you… as well…’

Marc smiled, and his eyes softened. Better.

‘Once you have an answer… please tell me…’

***

About two weeks later, Nathaniel told him he loved him.

He had never seen Marc’s face so red before. It was cute.

They were silent for a while, just sitting together, as Marc squeezed his hand. Eventually, Nathaniel had to be the one to point it out.

‘You should mark me, then.’

He felt Marc jump slightly next to him, and the writer boy turned to look at him.

‘I guess I said that, huh…’ he scratched his head, smiling awkwardly.

‘How does it work…?’

Suddenly, Marc’s hand was moving over his neck, his fingers soft and gentle.

Nathaniel found it hard to remember how to breathe.

‘Apparently…’ Marc said, his voice low. ‘I should bite you… right here… Suck your blood and… there should be some kind of bond between us… If there is… it should happen automatically… You probably won’t be able to tell, but I will…’

Nathaniel nodded, breathing slowly.

‘B-but first…’ Marc said, he was avoiding his gaze, flashing his eyes from left to right nervously. ‘Erm… c-can I… k-kiss you…?’

‘Yes,’ the small word was gone before Nathaniel realized, and Marc leaned in, slowly. He closed his eyes, and their lips touched. A little awkwardly, then again, gentle, soft, Nathaniel’s head was spinning-

It was then that he knew he wanted to be with Marc forever. Everything fell into place.

And from that moment, their eternity started.

[mrsmaybank]

Gas Station Girl - Spencer Reid x Reader - CH 3

Spencer Reid’s first impression of the Reader is mixed. She’s “audacious, promiscuous, clever, and troubled.” and there is so many things Spencer would like to do about it.

CHAPTER ONE HERE

CHAPTER TWO HERE

A/N:I’m writing a Spencer Reid x Reader multific! The series will be intense and 18+. Age gaps, Explicit sexual content (dom/sub dynamics/kinks), angst, family issues, dark themes including: violence, suicide, murder, death, blood, and drug use and addiction. (Chapters will of course have trigger warnings depending on the content) HIGHLY recommend you listen to the playlist as you read!

A/N2: This chapter is the most wholesome one in the whole series! Other then the kinky smut LMAO. No for real though, this is as fluffy as it gets. Next chapter gets um… well you’ll see!

TW: Language, Age gap, use of ‘Little Girl’ as pet name, explicit sexual content (light degradation & unprotected sex), mentions of death, smoking weed, mentions of violence

Fic Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4WYosdR6Tz4y9lsmUghoMU?si=ZvyS_2oqSDW95PxULRs2fQ

The seconds of ignorant bliss after opening your eyes for the first time since a night of horrible decisions didn’t last as long for Y/N anymore. Pains and aches serving a reminder of all the apologies that were owed from her. Instant dread and distaste for confrontation swirled in her stomach. Ah but she deserved it all. The night was blurry, but from recollection, it was only Teddy. He’d dropped her off home, she remembered that. From where? Who knows, but it probably didn’t matter. Teddy’s services didn’t really warrant (nor did Teddy want) a heartfelt, apologetic phone call she decided. Instead a simple, “thx” text sufficed.

She stepped out of her room, pleased with the sight of her roommate rolling a joint on the kitchen table. “Good fucking morning.”  she meant it. The weed would ease the sting of the bruises and busted lip.  

“Morning.” Kena said, licking the joint to seal its precious contents. “What the fuck happened to you last night?” making a face of amusement.

The friends bursted out in laughter in unison.

“Got my ass beat.” Y/N started telling the story as Kena lit the j. “Remember ‘Record Shop’ Dude’?”

“Do I remember? You guys fucked for like a week straight. Thought you guys were gonna get married.”

“Well,” she couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, “Apparently he has a girlfriend. They’ve been together for three years.”

Kena passed her the joint laughing, “Apparently.” she watched as her friend inhaled the smoke, “I’ll never understand why you don’t fight back every time. I’ve seen your left hook, it’s deathly. It’s like you like getting your ass kicked.”

Y/N finished the joint, putting it out. “Yeah, I get off. Masochist, remember?” she said in a serious tone. Kena understood the satire of her response.

“What’re your plans tod-” she was cut off by her phone ringing. She saw the unknown number and smiled putting it on speaker for Kena to hear. “I’m fucking broke!” she shouted as Kena laughed. “You can’t scam me! I don’t have any fucking money to steal!”

The line went silent and they awaited the confused stutter of some telemarketing con artist. And a confused stutter came.

“Y/N? It’s Spencer.” he paused, “Spencer Reid?” he paused again. Perhaps she’d forgotten him.  “Dr. Spencer Reid?”

“I know who you are.”  

Kena looked at her friend in confusion, but she was busy replaying the events of the previous night. Spencer had called Teddy, from the parking lot of a shady…her memory stalled, liquor store.

“Holy fuck I’m such a piece of garbage.” was the only thing her subconscious could render.

“I am so fucking sorry. Holy shit. Thank you for last night, dear fuck. I’m sorry about that. And for screaming at you! I didn’t have your number saved.”

Spencer lightly sighed. She remembered. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”

“Uh, great.” she stammered, “I’ve woken up a lot worse.”

Spencer could hear the slight embarrassment in her voice. “Good, good.” he took a deep breath, “Well I was wondering if maybe I could take you out to lunch? We’ve only ever spoken in parking lots.”

Kena opened her eyes in delight, mouthing “Yes!”

Y/N couldn’t contain her smile, “I’d like that Dr. Reid. Pick me up at three?”

“Sure little girl. See you soon.” Spencer hung up and Y/N melted.

Kena screamed, “You’ve been fucking a doctor?!”

“No.”  she smiled a devilish grin, “But I’m about to.” she sang, practically skipping with joy back to her room.

———————————————————————————————————–

Spencer hadn’t gotten a good look at the complex in the dark, but now he could see it in its full glory. Beer bottles and cigarette buds littered everywhere, sulky characters loitering at practically every corner, and a reek of marijuana. Not his personal idea of home sweet home.

He watched as the girl he was waiting for exited from apartment 209, looking just as wild as ever. He wondered if the disheveled look was intentional or if she always looked so crazily hot. His eyes continued to follow as she walked down the steps and into his passenger seat.

“Hi.” she said, eyes wide and if he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was blushing. Y/N didn’t seem like the kind of girl to blush.

“Hey. You look nice.” he started to pull out of the parking space.

“You don’t have to say that you know. I don’t look nice. I never look nice.” she sighed, “Truthfully I hate the idea of looking nice.”

Spencer was amused with her little ramble, “Why?”

“‘Cause nice is what you look like when you’re going to church. Or brunch. And I don’t do either of those.” she said plainly.

“What’s wrong with brunch?” he questioned smiling.  

“Nothing is wrong with brunch.” she paused for a minute, deciding whether or not to tell him all the atrocious memories she had in connection to brunch. He only asked you about fucking brunch. Don’t reveal all your baggage already. Don’t be a dramatic bitch. Just say your vegan or some bullshi-

“What are you contemplating on telling me?”

Her mouth gaped playfully. “Fucking cut the profiling! Three minutes in and you’re already doing your weird government shit.” she remarked, teasingly defensively.

Spencer laughed, “Weird government shit? Really?”

“Yeah.” she pursed her lips, “I said what I said.”

“It’s psychology, not weird government shit. It’s analyzing body language, and speech patterns and-”

“I get it. You’re fucking smart.” They pulled out to a red light.

“You’re smart too.”

“Thanks Doctor.” she smiled, it did make her happy to hear that. “So where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”, and see she did. As they got out of the car, Y/N couldn’t stop smiling. At first it was the way Spencer’s hand found hers, but then it was the sight. The restaurant was placed under the biggest trees she’d ever seen, with ivy hanging just a couple feet over her head. It was illuminated with lanterns and tiny hanging lights and she felt like she was in a fairy tale. It was beautiful.

“Hey Spencer?”

“Yes?” he said approaching the hostess, “Table for two, Spencer.” His attention shifted back down at her. “This is the prettiest place a boy has ever taken me.”

He smiled, “Yeah? You like it?” The hostess led them to their table and they sat. “A lot.” she giggled and Spencer swore his heart would explode. The sound was just too adorable.

“So Y/N, where are you from?”

She was a little surprised at the question, almost like nobody had ever asked. Had she ever been on a date? Like a proper sit down date?

“New York City, originally. But I uh, moved around a lot as a kid.”

“Tell me about that.”

“You really wanna know?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” he questioned.

“Okay, fine. I used to live in this beautiful townhouse in Manhattan. I had a pink room with a huge bed and canopy. A gorgeous chandelier, this vanity with all my tiaras, and my dolls! Oh my god, those dolls were so fucking pretty.” he listened intently, relishing in the way her eyes lit up in a way he’d never seen.

“And then my dad died.” the glint of joy in her eyes was gone. “When I was seven. And we moved to West Virginia, living with my grandmother, until she died!” she let out a small laugh in attempts to keep the mood up. “Then we were living in this mobile park, which wasn’t so bad. Creeps and meth-heads came and went, but overall not a horrible place to grow up. It’s where I met Teddy, you know him.”

He nodded his head, still listening to every detail of the story.

“After my mom got remarried, him and I decided we wanted to go to California. This was supposed to just be a pitstop, get our shit together, you know? But we had a falling out, and he went without me. Came back when his brother got cancer. Then after Casey died he came back to D.C, got me to enroll in school with him And uh, now I’m here. I go to Washington Uni, by the way. Major in Journalism.” she ended shyly.

“I’m sorry about your dad. And your grandma. That’s a story.”

She nodded her head. “Its okay. Better place, you know?” How about you?”

“Well, uh, I’m from Las Vegas. It’s been just me and my mom for a while.  My childhood was a little weird, graduated high school when I was twelve, then I-”

“Hold the fuck up, twelve?” he nodded. “Holy shit. You’re one of those freakishly smart prodigy motherfuckers aren’t you?”

He laughed, “IQ of 187, not to brag.”

“Oh fuck you, you’re totally bragging.”

“You got into Washington, you did well in school too.”

“Yeah uh, despite the shitty childhood school wasn’t really ever an issue. My dad was a Senator, George Y/L/N, in New York. He had a lot of random contacts. When we moved to West Virginia I got to go to some snobby private school ‘cause his friend was a board member. Saint Matilda Preparatory School. Top of my class.” she smiled, “Not to brag.”

“You’re definitely bragging.” he teased.

Scoffing, she said, “I didn’t drop my IQ number, so you’re still the gloating one here.”

“I didn’t think you were a high school drop-out.”                                                “Aw Spencer really?” she said sarcastically.

There waiter came and took their order, but neither of them really cared about the food. They stayed there talking for longer then the restaurant would’ve liked, telling each other their craziest dreams, wildest experiences, bad decisions, and nothing and everything. Before they knew it, the restaurant was kicking them out. They walked back to Spencer’s car, hysterically laughing at the disdained waiter who had to so awkwardly ask them to order something else or leave, Y/N clinging to his arm.

“Nobody’s ever done something like this for me before.” Y/N said as Spencer got into the drivers seat.

“What do you mean?” Spencer turned to face her.

“Picked me up, taken me to a pretty restaurant, paid, opened doors for me.” her eyes locked in his, “Listened to me talk for so long.”

“I could listen to you talk forever.” he grabbed her face and kissed her. The kiss was nothing like he’d expected. It wasn’t an aggressive make-out fired by lust, it was a kiss of passion and dear affection.

They began to drive in silence. Not uncomfortable Awkward silence, more like enjoying each other’s company silence. That is until Y/N did something Spencer should’ve seen coming as this was the same girl he’d met at the gas station. Her hands were inching their way up his leg to his crotch, teasingly slow. She scanned his eyes for some note to stop, but it never came. She palmed him gently through his pants, watching him struggle to keep his eyes on the road, as he twitched under her touch. “Fuck.” he sighed out quietly, “Stop.”

“Take your shoes off, get in the backseat.” he turned off the main road, driving down a more secluded street until he found a tiny spot almost completely hidden by trees.

“Take your clothes off.” he still hadn’t made eye contact with her since telling her she was smart. She did as she was told, taking off her top and shorts as fast as she could. Spencer got out of the driver’s seat and got into the back passenger seat, only the middle seat separating them. “Come here.” obeying, she did. In only a bra and underwear, she crawled into Spencer’s fully clothed lap, as he grabbed her face and kissed her. Her barely let her move, wanting to be able to explore her mouth freely, She gasped for air, whispering a small “Oh fuck.”

He tightly gripped her jaw, toying with her bottom lip as he spoke, “You have such a dirty mouth.”

She smiled more poisonously then he’d ever seen, it was mischievous and seductive, and it made him crazy. “What’re you gonna do about it sir?”

Now it was him smiling as the small girl looked up at him with big eyes, “So many things.” He started to kiss her again, this time his hands going down to tease her clothed clit. She moaned into the kiss and rocked her hips down harder into his hand. “Please?” she moaned again.

He moved her panties to the side, sliding a finger through her wetness, “You need something don’t you?” She nodded her head.

“Well, use your words.”

“Touch me.” she got closer in his ear, “Please.”

“What’s with the niceties little girl? You don’t want to be touched, no, Good girls like to be touched. You, you are a desperate little slut, hm?” His fingers dipped into her with no warning, curling immediately, “You want to be destroyed.”

Her hips bucked almost instantly as she cried out, “Yes. I do.”

“Beg for it.”

“Sir,” she opened her eyes to lock with his, “Please.” Spencer continued to curl his fingers while still rubbing her clit, and her moans and breathes got sloppier and louder.

“Please!” she whined. “Please sir.” He couldn’t contain a small laugh, “No.”  

“This is a bit pathetic even for you, no? You’re here naked in my lap begging for me to let you come.” She nodded her head. “Oh but I’m sure you’ve done worse haven’t you love?” She shook her head. As badly as he wanted to lecture her about lying, he could feel her tighten on his fingers. “Can..” she stuttered in between moans, “Can I? Please let me come?”

“Awe, good girl asking for permission.” he pulled his fingers out, “No.”

He slipped his fingers in her mouth and watched as she sucked them off. “Figures you’d be good at that.” he unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants and lied back so the door supported his back. “Come sit on it.”

Her eyes opened in delight as she crawled over and did as she was told. He watched in awe as she sunk herself down onto him, clenching as their thighs met. He let her think she had some control, eyes never leaving her as she bounced and moaned. “You’re such a good girl baby.” He could see her teetering right above the edge, and seeing as he was so close as well, he gave in. “Come for me.” and with that, she did. Practically screaming as he fucked up into her through her orgasm, pulling out and finishing himself.

He hugged her into his chest, whispering small praises and delivering soft kisses to her sweaty forehead. She made small circles with her nails on his arms, “I fucked a doctor!” She giggled.

Spencer broke out into laughter, “I fucked YOU.”

“We fucked each other.” They laid there for a moment, Y/N practically melting to the feeling of being in his arms. It was too comforting.  

Eventually, Spencer began driving back to her apartment, loving every moment of her outlandish singing and dancing in his passenger seat until he parked to drop her off.

“You’re a very special girl.” Spencer said as she smiled.

She took a deep breath, “Spencer, I fucking like you. A lot. I can’t remember the last time I had a good time like this that I wasn’t fucking high or drunk or both.” she continued to ramble, “And I guess what I’m just trying to convey is-”

She was cut off by Spencer crashing his lips to hers. “I know what you mean.”  

She smiled and gave him one last peck on the lips, “I hope I’ll see you soon Dr.”

“You will.”

As she walked back up the stairs to her apartment, Y/N only had one thought. How am I gonna manage to fuck this up?

———————————————————————————————————–

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[tcsnextgen]

Why is London "putting on the red light" ? (Lol me and my stupid tendencies to speak in song references. Why is she selling her charms? What got her into that?)

Soooooo… I put some more thought into my girl over the last few days but really, she’s my absolute brand-newest character ever! I hardly ever brag about new characters right away and usually toy with them in my head for a little while before letting them out of the house for the first time so some things are bound to be a little vague and are also likely to get altered a bit in the future, once everything progresses. :D  

(Also, use ANY song reference you want! *_* I get that, lol. I’d make tons of song references if I could, lol.)

I feel that London - I should probably refer to her as Skylar in this, though - was always a bit of a ‘wild child’. Her family was a middle class family, her parents are nice and hard-working people but hardly had the time to spend any quality time with their kids (Skylar has an older sister, Sandra). Thus, the two girls spent much time on their own or playing with the kids in the neighbourhood, being at other people’s houses and outside a lot, always coming home as late as possible.

Skylar started admiring the boys around her at a rather early age. Her and her school girlfriends were a little bunch of cuties, always flirting and making eyes at them and it didn’t take Skylar long to actually get involved with some of them. She had her first time at 14 only, believing that he was The One, which he - of course - wasn’t. He dumped her only a few days after but that didn’t keep Skylar from trying to find her true love. She was sweet, young and naive, looking for love, subconsciously trying to define her self-worth by relying on the affection from others.

Skylar became a hairdresser after she finished school. She liked the job, she still met up regularly with the people she knew from school and while life was okay, it never got exciting. Skylar often asked herself whether this was it, whether things now were as good as they were ever going to get. She had a routine, she knew all the guys already (not everyone in THAT way, though, oh dear no) and everything was so predictable.

And then, just a bit after Skylar had turned 21, Ethan showed up. Ethan was already 31 and from Dublin. Big City Boy. Ethan was also handsome and smart and really nice. He had a shiny car, always wore those expensive button-down shirts and fancy watches and he was so generous. A real gentleman, so very into her. He took her out to fancy places all over the country, he listened to her, he took her seriously.

And then he took her away. After only a few months of being involved with him, Skylar - still naive and lovestruck - would’ve followed him anywhere, really.

Ethan turned out to be a narcissist and control freak, engaging in some rather shady activities. He emotionally manipulated Skylar by gaslighting her over such a long time, making her feel terrible for being who she is, for having needs, for wanting things. He also got her hooked on drugs. Not heavy drugs but still.

Skylar never had any ambitions or greater plans for her life, all she wanted was to be loved by a really great guy. The guy was now there (Ethan always insisted that he loved her and would do anything for her!) and she still wasn’t statisfied. “What else do you want, Sky? I am at my wit’s end, honestly. Can’t you see all the things I’m doing for you? How I’m breaking my back to make you happy?”)

He was right, probably. She was most likely being a selfish brat. And he had every right to throw her out at some point, probably, when he had enough of her antics. At least that was what he did. He threw her out. Returning home didn’t seem to be an option at this point, Skylar felt guilty and embarrassed and her parents would probably abandon her anyway, for being a terrible person, for leaving, for becoming who she became and so she became a stray, with only a few belongings left to carry around in a small backpack, sleeping in all kinds of places, stealing, using public loos and also the loos at restaurants to wash and take care of herself, often randomly hooking up to have a bed and a long hot shower in the morning. She also tried several jobs to keep herself above water but she always got fired after a few days, either for stealing or not showing up at all, because being hungry all the time and living a homeless life is hard and tiring.

At some point, one of her random hook ups, a quiet (and surprisingly polite) guy, probably in his mid- or late thirties, got out his wallet, just after the two of them had entered his apartment.

“I’m sorry, should’ve asked beforehand, I guess. What’s your rate, dear?”

Rate? she thought to herself, confused.

He now looked at her and hesitantly pulled three green notes out of the wallet. Three hundred Euro. Skylar looked at the money and then looked back at the guy, eyes wide, realising what was happening.

“I’m sorry. I don’t have any more cash on me right now, I could-” he stammered.

“Three-hundred is fine.” Skylar said quickly. She didn’t care that he had obviously mistaken her for a prostitute. She saw the money in his hands, so much of it, and that’s all that mattered to her in that moment. Her head was spinning.

First thing she did after leaving his apartment in the morning (”Wow, you’re staying the whole night? For three hundred? You sure are something else, dear.”) was treating herself with a large Latte Macchiato and a nice English breakfast in the cute little restaurant around the corner. While she sat there, enjoying the taste of good food after months of hardly eating at all, she pondered last night’s events. The money in her pocket was such easy money. It was money for something she knew how to do well. Despite her love for sex, prostitution had never crossed her mind, actually, but now she had done it, just like that. And it felt strangely… okay. Actually, it felt good. For the first time in many months, Skylar felt like she was in control of her own life again.

The guy she had just done it with became her first regular for a while. He was always nice, he treated her like a lady somehow. At least she guessed that this was what being treated like a lady felt like. She had forgotten at this point. Probably never knew anyway.

Becoming a prostitute helped her gaining back at least some of her confidence, though. She was the one who made the rules. She was in charge again. So Skylar walked the streets for a while, always thinking how easy life had suddenly become for her, until that one fateful night when that client beat her up (aka the night she met Rory).

Staying with Rory for a little while made her realise one thing, though: She missed some security in her life. She still had no actual place of her own after all and she was also afraid that such an incident could happen again, with another guy, who could possibly do even worse things to her. Rory and his friends helped her get a tiny apartment, really tiny, but it was fine, it was hers. Skylar also looked for a place to work at, very well knowing that this would take away a good bit of her freedom but the prospect of falling victim to the mood of a drunk and aggressive client and maybe ending up dead in a ditch was so much worse. A big dude named Andy eventually hired her to work at his club. (”He’s a bit of a fuckwad but still alright. Hates it when someone hits a gal. Makes me like him enough.” Rory had said.) She would be an exotic dancer, a waitress, a prostitute. She also would chop off her long, brown hair and dye it. She would start wearing all these trashy-funky clothes from now on.

Skylar Smith would become London.

People often refer to prostitues as “fallen women” which London can’t comprehend at all. Her own life had improved so much ever since she became one after all. She lives at her own place in a nice city, she has good friends, she owns tons of clothes and make up supplies. She has her favourite cafés, restaurants and bars, she has her hobbies and enough free time for “me time”. She enjoys talking walks, going to the movies and beating Rory and his friends at poker. She has a real life now and, in the end, her job is just a job.

London is oddly happy, just like Rory is oddly happy with his life. Both of them don’t expect people to understand, though. It’s not something that can easily be explained after all. The two of them are just happy to have each other and also somehow get each other. :D