#who i had since i was like 2 i didn't react like this at all
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dyns33 · 2 days ago
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The Best Friend part 2
Yes I made a lil 3 parts series for Homelander and his bestie.
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If Y/N had to give John one good point, it was that he had been honest.
He could have said nothing, and she probably would have never known.
But at the same time, he wasn't completely stupid, and it wasn't a good idea to keep secrets like that.
Because he himself didn't like being lied to, promising that it would never happen between them, but also that he was giving Firecracker power over him, who could have threatened to tell her everything if he didn't do what she wanted.
Maybe she was blinded by admiration at the moment, claiming that she was at his beck and call and that she wouldn't ask for anything in return, but John knew people. He couldn't trust her.
"I'm not attracted to her at all, I told her that."
"… That reassures and consoles me enormously, John."
"Look, I understand that you're angry. But it was just once, just once ! A moment of weakness. I was exhausted, a lot of things had happened, you weren't there…"
"So it's my fault ?"
"No." He growled before sighing, trying to keep his cool. "I didn't say that. She was very persuasive. How does she know that I… Anyway, it was a mistake. I can fire her, she's no use to me. That idiot is loyal, I can ask her anything I want, but one word from you and she's gone. I can even kill her if you ask."
A lot of people wouldn't know how to react in this situation.
Normally it wasn't a good idea to upset the Homelander. You had to agree with him, not cry, not yell, not talk back. It was already an accomplishment that he admitted he had made a mistake.
Maybe he hadn't apologized, but Y/N was probably smart enough to know that he was sorry and that she should forgive him.
Anyone else would have eventually said sorry, taking the blame on them and making excuses for his cheating.
But besides the fact that she had been his only friend during his childhood, John loved Y/N because she wasn't afraid of him. And that meant she wasn't going to give in when he had hurt her.
"Your solution to a problem always has to be murder. Really, John, we're not eight years old anymore."
"Exactly, that's why we're talking like two adults."
"I'm waiting."
"What ?"
"For you to act like an adult."
Then John chuckled. He put on his eternal air of a guilty child who pretended not to understand what he had done wrong, disturbed that someone dared to corner him in this way, him, the great Homelander.
But seeing that Y/N was staring at him without saying anything, waiting, he quickly regained his seriousness, hiding his embarrassment behind a mask of annoyance.
"I just told you that I wouldn't do it again. She doesn't attract me at all, she's pathetic. I only love you. I've only ever loved you, since forever. The others were nothing, distractions, puppets. You're the only one who really knew me, who made me happy."
"I'm waiting."
"You don't want me to cut her in two, and I can't go back in time by flying around the Earth in the opposite direction of rotation contrary to what some idiots think, I don't see what I can do."
"Apologize."
"… Sorry." he mumbled, looking down, showing a pout.
"No. Better than that, John. Give me your most sincere apologies."
At this point, someone else would already be dead, or at least facing a furious and threatening supe, ready to use his lasers to silence her.
But Y/N was really not just anyone. Realizing that she would not change her mind, John mumbled, hands on his hips, before displaying his fake stage smile.
"I'm so sorry."
"I'm still waiting."
"… I should never have done that, it was pathetic of me. I love you more than anything and I shouldn't take it for granted, you deserve to be treated with respect. Forgive me."
"Hmm. Almost but not yet." she decided, holding back a smile.
She was still angry, but Y/N was ready to forgive him. After all these years, she knew how John was. She knew he would never have said the word "sorry" if he didn't mean it, and he wouldn't have confessed anything if he didn't really care about her.
But the moment was tasty and she wanted to make the most of it, so that he would learn his lesson well.
"What ? You want me to get on my knees ?"
"That would be a good start."
"… Fine."
Y/N had said that as a joke. In truth, she didn't really know what she was waiting for, only that she wanted it to last a little longer. It was impossible to tell whether or not she liked seeing John at her feet, staring at her with fear.
"I'm sorry. Don't leave me."
"Oh, John…"
"I know I can be difficult. You're always good and patient with me, even though I don't deserve it at all. I love you. If you left me, I would die, truly. The day they took you from me, I thought I was having a heart attack. I couldn't breathe. I would destroy everything if you disappeared again."
It wasn't exactly a reassuring statement. It could even have been taken as blackmail or a threat. But John would never hurt Y/N, she knew that.
He would kill everyone else, leaving only them, but he would tear off an arm rather than hurt her.
Tenderly, she stroked his hair, then his cheek, before leaning in to kiss him.
"I forgive you, John."
"Hmm."
"I love you too, I'm not going to leave you."
"Thanks."
"Get up now."
"Hmm. I don't know, I like the view." he said with a small smile. She followed his gaze, still leaning over, understanding that this way he had a full view of her chest and crotch.
The small pat he took on your head made him snicker, as did Y/N's falsely outraged look.
"I know another way to make it up to you."
"It wouldn't really be a punishment."
"I'll just be a little sad if I can't find any milk. But we could also do something to change that."
"Why are you never serious ?" she sighed, rolling her eyes.
The apology ended like that, because she received a call that caught her full attention. Y/N didn't look at John either, who never left her, dangerously serious, and fixed on her stomach.
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mayonesamitch · 2 days ago
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Why I Resonate With Ninjago So Much As a Trans Person
Contains spoilers
So Lego Ninjago. Honestly, the whole show is about accepting yourself and accepting others for their differences. Which is why as someone who's a trans person I resonate so much with it. I'm also an overthinker and a weirdo who spends time doing stuff like this!
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First let's start off with Zane. He find out he's a robot, or nindroid, as Jay says, early on in the series and has a difficult time accepting that. When the ninja (Jay, Cole, Kai) find out, they accept him pretty easily. Even though they accept his differences he has a difficult time accepting himself, refusing to believe it at first actually. This is something that trans people and I struggle with. Even though we're accepted by everyone else we can't accept ourselves. Most trans people most likely went through a phase where they refused to believe that they were trans. Which is why when I rewatched the series and I saw this episode I felt connected to it. Later on in the episode he accepts who he really is, and actually hides it a lot less often. In fact, after season 3 (which we won't talk about today...) he rebuilds himself and looks a lot more robotic.
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The way he rebuild himself makes him look a lot more like a robot, or in his case, a nindroid. (I'm just gonna call him a nindroid for the rest of this) He is also rather proud of being a nindroid. This is a journey of self acceptance that a lot of trans people and I can connect with. We often start out in disbelief and in denial of being trans. However, after we come to terms with our identity, we express ourselves the way we want. We're proud and aren't too bothered about it anymore.
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Now Jay and Nya. I'm gonna talk about them both at the same time since they go together pretty closely and also cause they're a really cute couple. (We don't talk about Dragons Rising season 2 part 2...)
Anyways, they both deal with the same thing. Hiding who you are so people can have a different view on you.
For Jay, he changed himself to look better in front on Nya when he first started to love her. He also had to hide the fact that he some of the venom in his veins so she doesn't view him differently. Most trans people and relate to this feeling. Hiding yourself to look different in front of someone. You don't want to be viewed differently so you don't mention your identity at all. Of course, later in in the episode, Nya finds out that he got the venom in him and is slowly turning into a snake and tells him and he doesn't have to lie about who he is. This is something that also happens to some trans people. People find out that they've been hiding themselves. Some will react negatively and some will be like a Nya!
Speaking of Nya, it's her turn! She was Samurai X the whole time. She hid that fact because she didn't want to be viewed differently by her friends, brother, and everyone else. Again, similar to Jay, a lot of trans people hide who they really are so they don't get viewed as differently. Now, when they find out, they're all surprised and make a promised to not hide anything else from eachother.
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While we're at it, I also want to mention P.I.X.A.L (I'll just call Pixal for the duration of this) had a very similar thing with her journey of being Samurai X. Hiding who she was so she want viewed differently. She's also a nindroid like Zane which shows the acceptance of the ninja team of different types of people. (Nindroids are people, right?) This acceptance really connected with me as a trans person. The way they show acceptance to each other no matter what is amazing and touching to me. They even were rather accepting of Cole being of ghost.
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Speaking of Cole, I'm now gonna talk about the infamous coming out episode. Okay, its not really a coming out episode but depending on the way you take it, it can. Let me explain.
The whole just of the episode is showing how Cole isn't what his father wants him to be. His father wanted him to be a singer and dancer. However, Cole didn't want to take that career choice and became a ninja instead. He lied to his father about going to a performing arts school and tried to continue the lie when he was visiting him. Of course, the truth comes out later on whole the ninja (Kai, Jay, Zane, Cole) are backstage and are discussing stealing the Blade Cup (it's one of the fangblades that they need to stop Pythor, the main villain) When Cole explains how he's a ninja his father refuses to accept him. Of course after the big performance and winning his father finally sees that maybe it will be good for Cole to be a ninja. He accepts his son's decisions and happy ending yay fireworks pew pew pew.
Now doesn't this sound like a coming out experience? Hiding who you truly are out of fear that your parents/guardian will judge you? Yeah it definitely does. I believe the episode is the perfect allegory for a coming out experience. Whether it was intentional or not, it definitely was the perfect allegory. Which is why i connect to the episode so much. I'm sure many others can. We're afraid of not being accepted so we hide who we are. Now whether or not you'll be accepted or not when the truth eventually comes out is different for everyone. Some will be accepted and some won't. Which is why I believe this episode shows how it feels like to not be accepted by the person you should trust the most, your parents/guardian. Which is why this episode I can connect to as a trans person. I'm sure many other can too.
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I also want to touch on ghost Cole. The change was very difficult to accept for Cole and everyone else since he's a whole different species! However, they still accepted him and treated him like Cole. Similar to Zane, when he accepts himself, he's rather proud of it. When he learns how to control his body and his new powers he's rather appreciative of being a ghost. Again, same thing, trans people have difficulty accepting themselves most of the time. However, when they accept themselves, they're proud.
Also I feel like I should mention this here but I won't be looking into the gay Cole theory today. That's for a different day. XD
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Now I want to talk about Sally. She plays a big role in season 15 episode 10. Her main thing was running away from home to play her songs in Ninjago City. She later on regrets her actions and want so go back, but can't in fear that her parents will be upset at her for destroying their van and attempting to run away. Later on in the episode, Zane reminds her that her parents love her very much and will probably be relieved that she decided to come home. She ultimately decided to go home and when she arrives her parents are relived. Zane also turned on his emotion meter but that's besides the point.
This episode can be taken as another allegory for coming out. She runs away from her come so she can pursue her dream that she's afraid that her parents won't approve on. I know some trans people run away from their parents, guardians, friends, or people in general, cause they're afraid that they won't accept them. When Sally arrives home, her parents are relieved and glad she's home. Some trans people decide to go back and the people/person they ran away from accept them. I know this ain't the case for all trans people sadly, however, in the allegory in this episode, it is the case.
I'd also like to mention that I think she's canonically part of the LGBTQ+ community since the progress pride flag appears on her guitar and ln the back of her dad's van. Just thought that was cool.
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I'm sure there are plenty of more instances of self acceptance and acceptance of other but I find that these ones I feel the most connected to. Ninjago is filled with it, which is why, as a trans person, I really resonate with this show. It really holds a special place in my heart.
I'd also like to mention that this can apply to the LGBTQ+ community in general, not just trans people. The whole community deals with self acceptance and acceptance of others. I also make a lot of generalizations about trans people, not all trans people are the same. They all have different experiences.
Anyways, I need to stop overthinking over LEGO Ninja. I think this is my hyperfixation of the year. I also might make a Ninjago edit today if I feel good. Apologies to everyone who followed me for Project Sekai and Bandori. I'll make a Bandori edit after that Ninjago edit I swear.
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otomes-and-tears · 3 days ago
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please analyze Pran.. my wife.. i need more content about him and i Love the way you analyze shiloh so..
OH, YOU WANT ME TO TALK ABOUT PRAN?!? YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND! It's sad hours, so let me talk a little about attachment theory since it really struck me when I first played Pran's route. Attachment theory, in essence, is about how the relationships you had as a kid, especially with your parents or caregivers, shape how you connect with others later in life. Basically, if you felt safe, cared for, and supported as a kid, you’re more likely to form healthy, secure relationships as an adult. But if your caregivers were inconsistent, abusive, neglectful, or even overbearing, it can impact how you relate to others later in your life.
The theory originated from an experiment in the 70s where babies around 12-18 months old were put into a controlled environment with their mothers. They played with toys while their mom was present, establishing how the baby normally behaved with their mom around, and later on, a stranger walked into the room, establishing how they reacted to strangers while their mom was around. Moments later their mother walked out of the room, leaving the baby alone with the stranger. The baby usually got scared and distressed, and then their mother was instructed to walk back into the room-- that's the most crucial part of the experiment: how the child reacts to the reunion. Based on their behavioural patterns, Ainsworth identified three main attachment styles:
1- Secure: Where the baby got upset when their mom left, but calmed down quickly once she returned. It signalled that the babies trusted that their mother would return, found comfort in her, and were easily soothed when distressed. It signalled that their caregivers were attentive to their needs and present. 2- Anxious-Ambivalent: The baby got significantly more distressed when the mom left and had trouble calming down after she returned, clinging to their parent while also appearing mad at them. Tend to be clingy and fear leaving their caregiver's side. It signals a lack of a feeling of security from the child towards their parent and an inconsistent response to the child's emotional needs. 3- Insecure-Avoidant: The baby didn't seem to get upset by the mother leaving and didn't seem to care when she returned. Doesn't seek any comfort from the mother and doesn't interact with the stranger. Highly independent, can signal that they're independent from their caregivers, who don't fulfil the child's emotional needs.
Later on, in the mid-eighties, other researchers identified another attachment style based on new research:
4- Disorganised-insecure: A mix of avoidant and anxious reactions, tending to be unpredictable.
So… Where does Pran fit into all of this? Well, if you've played his route, you might be familiar with his backstory. If you haven't, fear not, for I have screenshots!
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I remember this scene being like a punch in the gut to me. I had been whining about not really enjoying his route because I didn't get him the way I did with the other characters, but this specific scene put everything into perspective.
Pran was highly neglected as a child. Neither his physical or emotional needs were met by his parents, who he describes as hippies. Due to their beliefs, Pran was "homeschooled, " which alienated him from other children and affected his socialization skills. He's shown to be anxious and quiet as a kid, not really engaging with anyone and keeping those he meets at arms-length, a trait he still maintains later on in life.
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He was also a people pleaser. His grandparents wanted him to get a better education and firmly opposed the way his parents raised him (and hated his father), so they were constantly at odds with Pran's parents. In his attempts to try and please his grandparents, he'd anger his parents, and in his attempts to anger his parents, he'd anger his grandparents. Since no one was ever happy, no matter what he chose, he chose to do nothing at all. He's closed off and a contrarian as a consequence of the neglect he suffered, and of being used by his family as a pawn in their in-fighting.
I think a lot of his behaviour is consistent with an Insecure-Avoidant type. His forced independence, the neglect he suffered, learning to mask his feelings and avoiding voicing them because he feared they wouldn't be heard. And all of this affected his relationships in the future. They're functional, utilitarian.
We see with JB how their entire relationship is entirely dependent on her insistence, and the effort that she puts in. No matter how many times she reiterates her interest, or tries to engage with him, he always seems to shut her down and insist that he doesn't care, even though he does genuinely grow to like her. Those are behaviours he adheres to to make others avoid him-- and since JB, above all, is someone who craves praise and attention, in theory, it should be the easiest way to make himself unappealing to her. But she stays. And Pran still withdraws, he isn't used to being able to rely on other people aside from himself (and later Jeremy) so he's unused to it. All his relationships before her were entirely physical and superficial so he could avoid the emotional labour.
Beneath the surface, I think Pran feels lonely and misunderstood. He's scared of admitting he cares and opening himself up to be a disappointment again. It's a sick way of feeling safe. His self-esteem is wrapped by his experiences-- your caregivers are the first figures you look up to for validation. The lack of positive attention, be it support, acknowledgement and their inconsistent at best presence in his life, not to mention his isolation from other kids which made him straight up lack other forms of external support and validation, made his sense of self-worth extremely low. Beneath the surface, I think Pran feels lonely and misunderstood. He's scared of admitting he cares and opening himself up to be a disappointment again. He prefers to pretend to be cold and aloof because it means that people expect nothing from him. And if they don't expect anything, it means he can't be a disappointment. He can't be rejected if he doesn't invest himself in a relationship in the first place.
That might have also stunted his ability to recognise and process his emotions in a healthy way, which could've manifested as an apparent numbness in his teen years.
Before anyone gets too depressed, this isn't a life sentence. I think that by opening himself up (in a way) to a relationship in the first place, Pran took a huge step in breaking that cycle. As pushy as JB can be, I do believe that she genuinely cares about her partner, and sticking around and reiterating her interest, engaging with him even when he does all in his power to push her away, could perhaps act like a positive to him.
If he thinks of himself as someone broken and unfixable, she shows him that he's worth the trouble.
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poisonousquinzel · 3 days ago
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we didn't even see Sevika's reaction to Isha dying... she didn't say a damned word since episode 4 from what I remember. like is her being on the council supposed to be a fix all to the shit Piltover's done? It doesn't even look like there's any other Zaunites there it's just her.
Cait and Vi barely even argued before fucking in a prison cell like Caitlyn didn't become a dictator and spent the entire Act 1-2 time skip authorizing and causing terror in the Undercity but there's one comment we saw in the trailer talking about her having Ambessa as her right hand and thats it, as if Caitlyn didn't have anything else to idk apologize for?? Did I miss something??
She smacked Vi with her gun and nearly murdered a child the last time they'd seen each other before episode 6, but nothing of Cait's downward spiral in the first few episodes was addressed outside of just the connection with Ambessa and that was barely! She's a fucking adult and we didn't even hear her say sorry. She doesn't apologize to Vi.
Vi woke up, found out her sister was locked up, fought with her ex who's spent the past like 4 episodes being a full out fascist.
"she wasn't there for my benefit. You didn't trust me to follow through" she says that as if that one dude wouldn't have killed her if Jinx hadn't been there? like baby you wouldn't have followed through because you would be dead!
"can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear and you just ate it!"
"I know!"
And Caitlyn saying multiple times about not being able to erase our mistakes and good deeds not crossing out our crimes, while just.... going on to not acknowledge the full scope of her own war crimes.
And then after getting locked up by Jinx and being told she's gonna go kill herself in so many words, Vi... acts like that's not what was going on with her? it's not even addressed as an urgent thing it's as if she was just like "no fuck you sis I won't fight for your cause cause I'm an unpredictable rebel" and not implying that she was gonna go off herself.
it's just a moment for Vi to beat herself up more and go on about how Caitlyn was right about how she shouldn't trust Jinx and that she went behind her back, that she chooses wrong every time and that because of her decisions she's lost everyone.
She didn't choose wrong when she stopped Caitlyn from killing Jinx and Isha in episode 3.
but the only response to Vi beating herself up Caitlyn has is to point out she'd moved all the guards to the Hexgates and to say that she's gotten a bit predictable.
and then the sex scene happens. In the jail cell Jinx had spent the entire time skip, one long enough that Vi's hair is grown out, trapped in festering alone thinking about dying.
just wow, what an atmosphere, how romantic
just saw that Amanda has said in a Q&A abt episode 8 that them doing it in the cell was a way of "Vi reclaiming her prison trauma" which is....... a decision. the idea is there but fuck the execution sucked man lmao
VI didn't even react to Ekko being back!
and to have Vi in their ending clip say she's "the dirt under her nails, cupcake. Nothing's gonna clean me out"
what the actual fuck? is that supposed to be cute after all the comments Caitlyn's made about Zaunite being lesser, being animals, saying that it's in her blood? something she doesn't address or grow from or apologize for?
are we supposed to believe that everything that was inflicted on the Undercity by Piltover is just water under the bridge now cause some magic robots fucked shit up for a bit? no acknowledgement of the oppression or using chemical warfare on innocent people or arresting people without cause, or the hundreds of other examples of Piltover lording themselves over the Undercity that happened before the show. The conditions they allowed and thrived off of, the ones that led to Zaun being something needed in the first place.
everything in terms of that foundational conflict feels like it was just completely dropped to focus on the magic plot and Ambessa and it's just... not front lined again. Ambessa did not cause the conditions in Zaun, she made things worse for them, but she wasn't in Piltover for the large majority of this. In the grand scheme of Piltover / Zaun she is an incredibly new player in that fight and came in on the side of the oppressors knowingly and took that to her advantage. Same with Hextech and stuff, this conflict goes so much further back then that and it's wounds cannot be healed by lackluster and minimal effort and a refusal to acknowledge how in the wrong Piltover has been. The pain and suffering caused throughout the decades at the hands of Enforcers, long before Hextech or Ambessa came into the picture.
idk, for me it was just disappointing and a let down ending for a season I was otherwise really enjoying.
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silvernatural26 · 1 year ago
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#vent#cw for animal death if you read through this#just feel like i have to ramble about this. somewhere. but everyone's asleep rn and i don't wanna randomly pop into someones messages#so to yell at the void in the tags i go#but one of my dogs died today. or yesterday technically. idk it's 4am rn and my sleep schedule's fucked#but yeah. apparently he passed away in his sleep. teddy bear's gone.#which like. shouldn't be that surprising since he was like 13 years old#and he was a maltese and yorkie mix and both of them live to be about 13. he was a little old man#but none of us really expected to lose him before we lost susie who's a little over a year older than him and his mom#and also has been having some health issues. nothing major or serious but enough to be kinda concerning with how old she is#but teddy was perfectly fine. didn't have any issues at all#but i was helping my brother get ready for school and was about to go and watch for the bus#and we were passing by the couch that he loved to sleep on and it just looked like he was asleep on a pillow#and my brother went to pet him and immediately noticed that he was cold#and yeah. a while after that my dad put him in a box and now he's buried in front of the well we have in our backyard#and it's just been kinda hitting me in waves all day#like i'll be fine and then i'll realize he's gone and then i'm fine and then i'll remember what he looked like on the couch#before we realized#and i'm kinda surprised it's affecting me this badly? like. idk. when i lost my cat orange a couple of years ago#who i had since i was like 2 i didn't react like this at all#like of course i was still sad and i miss her but. idk.#maybe it's because there wasn't any build up? like with orange we knew something was wrong#and had a couple of weeks knowing something was wrong and she might not live before she died#and also i didn't see it. my parents were there when she was put down by the vet but i didn't go#but with teddy. i saw the body. thought he was just asleep until my brother tried to pet him#so i guess maybe those combined is why? idk#grief just never. hit me this much this quickly before#also sucks to know we're probably going to be losing susie soon too#we're planning on getting another dog so louisa won't be alone when it happens#she's been with teddy and susie her whole life. we don't want her to be lonely without them so we want to get her a friend
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altruistic-meme · 1 year ago
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me: *existing*
my brain: hey heres another fic idea!!! and another!!!! oh wouldn't it be so cool if you wrote this??? wouldn't you LOVE to plan this fic out??? you should definitely plan this one, i promise you don't even have to write it ;) [<- is lying, knows that i'll want to write it even more if i plan it]
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acourtofquestions · 1 month ago
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Kingdom of Ash
Chapters 36-37
Had it been like that in the iron coffin?
Aelin gave no indication that the smothering dark bothered her, and had shown no inclination to illuminate their way. Hadn't even summoned an ember.
But the Little Folk, it seemed, had come prepared. And within heartbeats of entering the pitch-black river passage, blue light had kindled on a lantern dangling over the curved prow. Not light, not even magic. But small worms that glowed pale blue, as if they'd each swallowed the heart of a star. They'd been gathered into the lantern, and their soft light rippled over the water-smooth walls. A gentle, soothing light. At least, for her it was so.
Before Aelin had been given an ancient Faerie Queen's crown, her birthright and heritage.
The queen had stashed Mab's crown in one of their packs, as if it were no more than an extra sword belt. She hadn't spoken, and they had not asked her any questions, either.
Instead, she'd spent these past few hours sitting in the back of the boat, studying her unmarked hands, occasionally peering into the black waters beneath them. What she expected to see beyond her own rippling reflection, Elide didn’t want to know.
He'd crawled after Maeve on the beach to save Aelin. And he had found her during her escape-had ensured Aelin made it out. Did it wipe away what he'd done in summoning Maeve in the first place? Even if Maeve had set the trap, even if he hadn't known what Maeve intended for Aelin, did it erase his decision to call for her?
The last time they'd spoken as friends, it had been aboard that ship in the hours before Maeve's armada had arrived. He'd told her they needed to talk, and she'd assumed it was about their future, about them.
But perhaps he'd been about to tell her what he'd done, that he'd been wrong in acting before Aelin's plans played out. Elide stopped twisting the ring.
He'd done it for her. She knew it.
But the queen sitting silently behind them, no trace of that sharp-edged fire to be seen, nor that wicked grin she'd flashed at all who crossed her path ... Two months with a sadist. With two sadists. That had been the cost, and the burden that Aelin and all of them would bear.
That silence, that banked fire was because of him. Not entirely, but in some ways.
The collar had not been real. But the army Maeve had summoned was.
A blink into the gloom was the only indication that he was aware of her every movement. Aelin breathed in his scent, let its strength settle into her a bit deeper.
Their paths would meet again, or they would not. And if he found the final key and then brought it to her, she would pay what the gods demanded. What she owed Terrasen, the world.
Yet if Dorian chose to end it himself, to forge the Lock ... her stomach churned. He had the power. As much as she did, if not more so.
It was meant to be her sacrifice. Her blood shed to save them all. To let him claim it ... She could. She must. With Erawan no doubt unleashing himself on Terrasen, with Maeve's army likely to cause them untold grief, she could let Dorian do this. She trusted him. Even if she might never forgive herself for it. Her debt, it was supposed to have been her debt to pay.
Perhaps the punishment for failing to do so would be having to live with herself.
Having to live with all that had been done to her these months, too.
The blackness of the subterranean river pressed in, wrapped its arms around her and squeezed.
Different from the blackness of the iron box. The darkness she'd found inside herself.
A place she might never escape, not really.
Her power stirred, awakening. Aelin swallowed, refusing to acknowledge it. Heed it.
She wouldn't. Couldn't. Not yet. Until she was ready.
She had seen Rowan's face when she spoke of what his deception with the collar had prompted her to do. Had noted the way her companions looked at her, pity and fear in their eyes. At what had been done to her, what she'd become.
A new body. A foreign, strange body, as if she'd been ripped from one and shoved into another. Different from moving between her forms, somehow. She hadn't tried shifting into her human body yet. Didn't see the point.
Sitting in silence as the boat was pulled through the gloom, she felt the weight of those stares. Their dread. Felt them wondering just how broken she was.
You do not yield.
She knew that had been true—that it had been her mother's voice who had spoken and none other.
So she would not yield to this. What had been done. What remained. For the companions around her, to lift their despair, their fear, she wouldn't yield.
She'd fight for it, claw her way back to it, who she'd been before. Remember to swagger and grin and wink. She'd fight against that lingering stain on her soul, fight to ignore it. Would use this journey into the dark to piece herself back together-just enough to make it convincing.
Even if this fractured darkness now dwelled within her, even if speech was difficult, she would show them what they wished to see.
An unbroken Fire-Bringer. Aelin of the Wildfire.
She would show the world that lie as well. Make them believe it.
Maybe she'd one day believe it, too.
Days of near-silent travel passed.
Three days, if whatever senses Rowan and Gavriel possessed proved true. Perhaps the latter carried a pocket watch. Aelin didn't particularly care.
She used each of those days to consider what had been done, what lay before her.
Sometimes, the roar of her magic drowned out her thoughts. Sometimes it slumbered. She never heeded it.
They sailed through the darkness, the river below so black that they might as well have been drifting through Hellas's realm.
She hadn't asked him why he remained in his wolf's body. No one asked her why she remained in her Fae form, after all.
Rowan straightened, eyes sparking at her question-or at the fact that she'd spoken at all.
He'd kept by her these days, a silent, steady presence. Even when they'd slept, he'd remained a few feet away, still not touching, but just there. Close enough that the pine-and-snow scent of him eased her into slumber.
Silence at the order, even from Rowan. Aelin pointed to the lip of shore by the cave mouth. "Stop the boat," she repeated.
The queen had been reckless before Cairn and Maeve had worked on her for two months, but it seemed she'd had any bit of common sense flayed from her.
"Well, I don’t have any, so forgive me if I remain alert." No, she'd once told him that while magic flowed in the Lochan bloodline, she had none to speak of. He'd never told her that he'd always considered her cleverness to be a mighty magic on its own, regardless of Anneith's whisperings.
"It will take time for her to readjust."
She stared at him with those damning eyes.
He braced his forearms on his knees. "We got her back. She's with us now. What more do you want?" From me, He didn't need to add Elide straightened.
Elide straightened. "I don't want anything." From you.
This was where they'd have it out, then. "How much longer am I supposed to atone?"
"Are you growing bored with it?" He snarled.
She only glared at him. "I hadn't realized you were even atoning."
"I came here, didn't I?"
"For whom, exactly? Rowan? Aelin?"
"For both of them. And for you." There. Let it be laid before them.
"I told you on that beach: I want nothing to do with you."
"So one mistake and I am your eternal enemy?"
"She is my queen, and you summoned Maeve, then told her where the keys were, and you stood there while they did that to her."
"You have no idea what the blood oath can do. None."
"Fenrys broke the oath. He found a way."
"And had Aelin not been there to offer him another, he would have died." He let out a low, joyless laugh. "Perhaps that's what you would have preferred."
She ignored his last comment. "You didn't even try."
"I did," he snarled. "I fought it with everything I had. And it was not enough. If she'd ordered me to slit your throat, I would have. And if I had found a way to break the oath, I would have died, and she might very well have killed you or taken you afterward. On that beach, my only thought was to get Maeve to forget about you, to let you go-"
"I don't care about me! I didn't care about me on that beach!"
"Well, I do."
This was what came of opening that door to a place inside him that no one had ever breached. This mess, this hollowness in his chest that made him keep needing to make things right.
"Resent me all you like," he said, damning the hoarseness of his words. "I'm sure I'll survive."
Hurt flashed in her eyes. "Fine," she said, her voice brittle.
He hated that brittleness more than anything he'd ever encountered. Hated himself for causing it. But he had limits to how low he'd crawl.
He'd said his piece. If she wanted to wash her hands of him forever, then he would find a way to respect that. Live with it.
Somehow.
Gratitude shone in her eyes.
Rowan only gave her a nod. Don't worry about it.
Yet Aelin turned away, shutting off that silent conversation as she surveyed the space.
Time. It would take time for her to heal.
Even if he knew his Fireheart would pretend otherwise.
So, Rowan looked, too. Across the tomb, beyond the sarcophagus and treasure, an archway opened into another chamber. Perhaps another tomb, or an exit passage.
"We don't have time to find a way out,"
Rowan murmured as she strode into the tomb.
"And the caves remain safer than the surface."
"I'm not looking for a way out," she said in that calm, unmoved voice. She stooped, swiping up a fistful of gold coins stamped with forgotten king's face. "We're going to need to fund our travels. And the gods know what else." Rowan arched a brow. Aelin shrugged and shoved the gold into the pocket of her cloak. "Unless the pitiful clinking I heard from your coin purse didn't indicate you were low on funds."
That spark of wry humor, the taunting … She was trying. For his sake, or the others' maybe her own, she was trying.
Rowan gave the Lion a slashing grin. "You heard the lady."
A flash ruptured from where Fenrys had been sniffing at a trunk of jewels, and then a male was standing there. His gray clothes worn, but intactin better shape than the hollowed-out look in his eyes.
Aelin paused her looting.
Fenrys's throat bobbed, as if trying to remember speech. Then he said hoarsely, "We needed more pockets." He patted his own for emphasis.
Aelin's lips curved in a hint of a smile. She blinked at Fenrys—three times.
Fenrys blinked once in answer.
A code. They'd made up some silent code to communicate when he'd been ordered to remain in his wolf form.
Aelin's smile remained, just barely, as she walked to the golden-haired male, his bronze skin ashen. She opened her arms in silent offer.
To let him decide if he wished for contact. If he could endure it.
Just as Rowan would let her decide if she wished to touch him.
A small sigh broke from Fenrys before he folded Aelin into his arms, a shudder rippling through him. Rowan couldn't see her face, perhaps didn't need to, as her hands gripped Fenrys's jacket, so tightly they were white-knuckled.
A good sign—a small miracle, that either of them wished, could be touched. Rowan reminded himself of it, even while some intrinsic, male part of him tensed at the contact.
A territorial Fae bastard, she'd once called him. He'd do his best not to live up to that title.
"Thank you," Aelin said, her voice small in a way that made Rowan's chest crack further.
Fenrys didn't answer, but from the anguish on his face, Rowan knew no thanks were in order.
They pulled away, and Fenrys cupped her cheek. "When you are ready, we can talk."
About what they'd endured. To unravel all that had happened.
Aelin nodded, blowing out a breath. "Likewise."
She resumed shoving gold into her pockets, but glanced back to Fenrys, his face drawn. "I gave you the blood oath to save your life," she said. "But if you do not want it, Fenrys, I ... we can find some way to free you—"
"I want it," Fenrys said, no trace of his usual swaggering humor. He glanced to Rowan, and bowed his head. "It is my honor to serve this court. And serve you," he added to Aelin.
She waved a hand in dismissal, though Rowan didn't fail to note the sheen in her eyes as she stooped to gather more gold. Giving her a moment, he strode to Fenrys and clasped his shoulder. "It's good to have you back." He added, stumbling a bit on the word, "Brother." For that's what they would be. Had never been before, but what Fenrys had done for Aelin .. Yes, brother was what Rowan would call him. Even if Fenrys's own—
Fenrys's dark eyes flickered. "She killed Connall. Made him stab himself in the heart." A pearl-and-ruby necklace scattered from Gavriel's fingers.
The temperature in the tomb spiked, but there was no flash of flame, no swirl of embers.
As if Aelin's magic had surged, only to be leashed again.
Yet Aelin continued shoving gold and jewels into her pockets.
She'd witnessed it, too. That slaughter.
But it was Gavriel, approaching on silent feet even with the jewels and gold on the floor, who clasped Fenrys's other shoulder. "We will make sure that debt is paid before the end." The Lion had never uttered such words not toward their former queen. But fury burned in Gavriel's tawny gaze. Sorrow and fury.
Fenrys took a steadying breath and stepped away, the loss on his face mingling with something Rowan couldn't place. But now wasn't the time to ask, to pry.
Aelin continued picking her way amongst the treasure, however. She'd been more selective than the rest of them, examining pieces with what Rowan had assumed was a jeweler's eye. The gods knew she'd owned enough finery to tell what would fetch the highest price at market.
"We should go," he said. His own pockets were near to bursting, his every step weighed down.
She rose from a rusted metal chest she'd been riffling through.
Rowan remained still as she approached, something clenched in her palm. It was only when she stopped close enough for him to touch her that she unfurled her fingers.
Two golden rings lay there.
"I don't know the Fae customs," she said.
The thicker ring held an elegantly cut ruby within the band itself, while the smaller one bore a sparkling rectangular emerald mounted atop, the stone as large as her fingernail. "But when humans wed, rings are exchanged." Her fingers trembled-just slightly. Too many unspoken words lay between them. Yet now was not the time for that conversation, for that healing.
Not when they had to be on their way as swiftly as possible, and this offer she'd made him, this proof that she still wanted what lay between them, the vows they'd sworn ...
"I assume the sparkly emerald is for me," Rowan said with a half smile.
She huffed a laugh. The soft, whispered sound was as precious as the rings she'd found for them in this hoard. She took his hand, and he tried not to shudder in relief, tried not to fall to his knees as she slid the ruby ring onto his finger. It fit him perfectly, the ring no doubt forged for the king lying in this barrow.
Silently, Rowan grasped her own hand and eased on the emerald ring. "To whatever end," he whispered.
Silver lined her eyes. "To whatever end." A reminder-and a vow, more sacred than the wedding oaths they'd sworn on that ship.
To walk this path together, back from the darkness of the iron coffin. To face what waited in Terrasen, ancient promises to the gods be damned.
He ran his thumb over the back of her hand.
"I'll make the tattoo again." She swallowed, but nodded. "And," he added, "I'd like to add another. To me—and to you."
Her brows flicked up, but he squeezed her hand. You'll have to wait and see, Princess.
Another hint of a smile. She didn't balk from the silent words this time. Typical.
He opened his mouth to voice the question he'd been dying to ask for days now. May I kiss you? But she pulled her hand from his.
Admiring the wedding band sparkling on her finger, her mouth tightened as she turned over her palm. "I'll need to retrain."
Not a single callus marked her hands.
Aelin frowned at her too-thin body. "And pack on some muscle again." A slight quiver graced her words, but she curled her hands into fists at her sides and smirked at her clothes—the Mistward clothes. "It'll be just like old times."
Trying. She was dredging up that swagger and trying. So he would, too. Until she didn't need to any more.
Rowan gave her a crooked grin. "Just like old times," he said, following her out of the barrow and back toward the ebony river, "but with far less sleep."
He could have sworn the passageway heated. But Aelin kept going.
Later. That conversation, this unfinished business between them, would come later.
#Chapter 36#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Galathynius#Rowan Whitethorn#Elide Lochan#Lorcan Salvaterre#Gavriel#Fenrys#first read along with me no spoilers please more spoilers in further notes with tags quotes reacts annotated etc perspective 1 Elide#The way they all keep asking is that what she felt like-Finally dozing-Therapy boat time-They stole something beautiful&bright#If not even Elide can standup it’s short-The quiet time space-Forgive urself4him-Lets give it all2Erawan-Not fragile-Not hiding well#Never yield-the fact the lilfolk were prepared for no magic-it gives Jess day meets Millie Bobby brown princess movieWhealing glowworms#is Elide afraid of the dark?she did say rattle the stars-always heartbeats to measure timeWlilfolk-eyes gleamingWanimalistic brightness#Fenrys dozing@queens feet-get they snuggled close-position of honor at feet-Gabriel explains golden hair silvered by moonlight (beam?)#the ring-none of them want to know-knowing where to find HER-Closer2her than he'd sat in weeks-sending her attention (knowing where 2 find)#4long heartbeats she let herself look at him-she knew it 2#P2Aelin-4long heartbeats she let herself look at him-she knew it 2-inky black hair spilling over a coat of whitest snow#Her fingers curled in her lap-the fact living has begun to feel like punishment-a better lie-the swagger fire back#Chapter 37-perspective Aelin pt 1-if only there was tech-3days time-whats the tell?So long travel-let him take it so she can kill Erowan#Not the weights again-the avoided speech like Lys-To answer questions that he was perhaps not yet ready to discuss.#Might begin simply screaming and screaming at what had been done to them to Connall-is the far her animal form-THEM-but as the blue light#of the lantern touched it gold glittered along the rocky floor.Ancient gold-genius-stop the boat-they listened to her Cadre-didn’t wait or#stay or care-Aelin didn't bother to see who obeyed as she strode into the cave-Lorcan refrained from saying that;good pick-Not firelight#She hadnt shown an ember since theyd entered the cave-power notes-Her dark eyes slid to him-from you-why river?-knees!#reverse Lysaedion-well I care u idiot-looked away looked anywhere but at him-life with ur#reverse Lysaedion-well I care-looked away looked anywhere but at him-lifeWoff what had needed2stop she needed2see he could only guess#Kings has made it-watched-As if she wouldnt couldnt touch her power-he saw every side-my last/accent-wait hug notice#Unravel it-fill in-pretend-where?-pirating is nice-another mark theirs&loved enough tove said it-whatever end-known-silver lined#u wish-what isn't recognized-Sardothien swagger-leashing the power-as close to a wedding4them as we’ll get
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sreegs · 1 year ago
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I reblogged it earlier but I'm glad the Something Awful Forums 9/11 thread was archived because it's an incredibly important slice of internet history. For the record I think 9/11 was thousands of personal tragedies for the direct victims of the attacks but one big national farce that led to America's ongoing slide into fascism, and the nationalism and remembrance around it is a joke especially in the wake of the same amount of deaths every fucking day in the US during the height of coronavirus.
Nevertheless I think it's important that if you do not remember because you were too young or just didn't exist on Sept 11, 2001 to read the Something Awful 9/11 forums to get an idea of what the internet was like at the moment when America changed to 24 hour news cycles and renewed hyper-nationalism not seen since WWII.
This all happened before Twitter, Facebook, before Discord. Before smart phones. Before most people had cell phones. When a lot of people still had dial-up internet, even. Some people in the thread were relying on radio because internet and TV weren't keeping up.
It was a live event of internet denizens reacting to the biggest national event (and among the biggest international events) of the past 25 years. It was also a slice of what the internet was like at the turn of the millennium. Not only that, but people accurately calling out who was responsible, and what would result before the attacks even finished.
Keep in mind that the links that follow contain images of the event, lots of Islamophobia, people calling for the Middle East to be nuked, people blaming Palestine, casual racist and homophobic language (this was Something Awful after all), etc etc. They preserved the first 17 pages which spanned about 24 hours during the events. It's the origin of the "WATCH BUSH START A FUCKING WAR" screenshot.
Links under the fold. I've also annotated the pages with notes regarding the timeline and any posts of interest. Note the thread was preserved in Pacific Time even though the page says times are Eastern. That's incorrect. Post timestamps are 3 hours behind Eastern Time, which is the time zone where the attacks occurred:
Page 1 - Note the first post was edited to include images of the second attack. The thread started after the first plane hit. Second plane hitting the WTC happens here too.
Page 2 - Poster accurately calling out Bin Laden was responsible at 9:14 AM EST
Page 3 - "WATCH BUSH START A FUCKING WAR"
Page 4
Page 5 - First official acknowledgement it was a terrorist attack.
Page 6 - Pentagon hit
Page 7
Page 8
Page 9 - Commercial flights grounded by FAA (Federal Aviation Administration)
Page 10 - First mention of towers collapsing at end of page
Page 11 - More reactions to collapse of first tower. People thinking it was a bomb or yet another plane. Rumors about a fourth plane just missing the White House (these are false and predate the actual 4th plane crash by minutes)
Page 12
Page 13 - By this point there's just rampant speculation about more bombs at the WTC, the US Capitol building being hit, etc (all false). Remember this is all just people reacting to TV news and radio and the rumor mill via phone, AIM, IRC, and maybe text messages.
Page 14 - By this point internet news sites are overwhelmed
Page 15 - Second tower collapses. First acknowledgement of the fourth plane that crashed in PA.
Page 16 - There's an abrupt time jump in the threads, I think it was the result of admins pruning the activity or the SA forums going down. This page starts on 9/12 even though it is page 16. American flag signatures and ribbons start appearing.
Page 17
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winxanity-ii · 2 months ago
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SINS OF DEVOTION [2/3]
ship: father charlie x fem!nun!reader warnings: nsfw 🔞 (p in v ; fem. receiving hand-job/fingering; overstimulation; creampie, wrap before you tap kiddos; coercion/dub-con?; sacrilege, heavy religious imagery) word count: 3.6k a/n: wasn't planning on expanding the one-shot, but here we are. i literally stayed up 7+ hours to write this just cuz i got a bunch of praise in the notes 😩 i'm weak... anywho this is a continuation of my previous one-shot, '𝐒𝐀𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.' If you haven't read that yet, I recommend starting there to understand the progression of their relationship….final part: 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍
★·.·´ɢʀᴏᴛᴇsǫᴜᴇʀɪᴇ 🇲‌🇦‌🇸‌🇹‌🇪‌🇷‌🇱‌🇮‌🇸‌🇹‌`·.·★
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Ever since that night, you couldn't look Father Charlie in the eyes. How could you, when the man—the symbol of the glory of the Father above—had been buried between your thighs like a man starved?
Just looking at him brought back all the feelings, the emotions that twisted and churned inside you, leaving you breathless and overwhelmed.
Every time you saw him in the chapel, his gaze lingering on you from across the room, your heart would race, your skin tingling with the memory of his touch.
You would try to focus on your duties, your prayers, but the image of him kneeling before you, his mouth claiming every part of you, would flash in your mind, making you falter. Your hands would tremble, your voice would break, and you would feel heat rising in your cheeks, knowing he was watching you.
And he was always watching you.
His eyes would find yours whenever you entered a room, his gaze dark and intent, filled with a hunger that hadn't diminished in the slightest since that stormy night.
You could feel it even from a distance—the way his eyes seemed to follow your every movement, as if he was marking you as his. It made your breath catch, your body reacting in ways you couldn't control, a mix of fear and anticipation coursing through you.
It was a regular Sunday mass when he finally cornered you; a neighboring pastor was visiting, giving a sermon, while you were cleaning out one of the confessionals.
The faint sound of the sermon echoed in the background, the low, rhythmic cadence of the visiting pastor's voice carrying through the church. You were kneeling on the ground, scrubbing the tiles, your sleeves rolled up to keep them out of the soapy water.
The scent of cleaning solution hung in the air as you worked, your humming soft, almost absent-minded, a gentle hymn that you barely even noticed yourself singing.
You were so absorbed in your task that you didn't notice the shadow fall over you until it was too late. You looked up, startled, your eyes widening as you tried to regain your composure.
"I'm sorry, this confessional booth is out of commission at the moment, I'm cleaning—" Your words trailed off as your gaze traveled upward, and your breath caught in your throat when you realized who was standing there.
It was Father Charlie.
His presence filled the small space, and you could feel the air grow heavy around you, your pulse quickening as his eyes locked onto yours. There was something about the way he looked at you—something dark and knowing—that made your heart pound, your hands freezing where they rested on the damp cloth.
The brush slipped from your fingers, falling back into the soapy water with a splash that sprayed droplets onto the floor and your habit, snapping you out of your daze. You stuttered, "F-Father Charlie," quickly standing up, giving a short bow. "Blessed Sunday morning, Father."
Charlie's lips twitched up into a smile as he stepped further into the cramped confessional booth, the door closing with a soft click behind him. "Blessed Sunday to you as well, Sister ____."
Your eyes flickered to his lips, your breath catching as your mind flashed back to how he had used that very mouth to bring you to the brink of pleasure—his lips, his tongue, every sinful movement etched into your memory. You swallowed hard, your face warming at the thought, your hands fidgeting as you struggled to look anywhere but at him.
You cleared your throat, your voice coming out small. "Is there... is there anything I can do for you, Father?"
Charlie hummed thoughtfully, taking another step closer until he was right in front of you, the space between you almost nonexistent.
Your gaze dropped to his chest, the black fabric of his cassock filling your vision, the scent of him overwhelming—something warm and clean, with a hint of incense. You could feel your heart pounding, your breath hitching as he spoke, his voice low and deep.
"There are many things you could do for me, Sister," he murmured, his tone shifting, darkening, as his lips curled into a smirk. "We could pray... or perhaps," he paused, his eyes glinting as his voice dropped even lower, "you could help me find a different kind of release."
Your eyes widened at the crude implication, your gaze shooting up to meet his, only to find him already watching your face, his eyes hooded and dark, filled with a hunger that made your stomach twist.
You felt heat pooling low in your belly, the tension in the small space between you almost unbearable. You shook your head slightly, your voice coming out in a whisper, shaky and unsure. "Father Charlie, we shouldn't... we can't..."
Charlie didn't answer, not with words. Instead, he took another step forward, his body pressing against yours as he used his arms to cage you in, one hand bracing against the wall of the confessional beside your head. His other hand moved to cup your cheek, his fingers tilting your face upward, forcing you to meet his gaze.
You could feel his breath, warm against your skin, his face so close that your noses almost brushed. His eyes were dark, filled with something raw, something that made your knees feel weak.
He leaned in even closer, his lips hovering just above yours, his voice a whisper, almost pleading. "Do you know what you do to me, Sister? How you push me to sin, how you make me want things I shouldn't?"
His hand left your cheek, moving down to grab your wrist, guiding your hand between your bodies, pressing it firmly against the hardness straining beneath his cassock. Your breath caught in your throat, a soft gasp escaping your lips as you felt him, your eyes widening, your entire body tensing at the sensation.
"Feel that?" he whispered against your lips, his voice thick with desire. "That's what you do to me. Every time I see you, every time you look at me with those innocent eyes... you make me lose control."
You felt your heart racing, your mind spinning, a mix of fear and something else—something dark and thrilling—coursing through you as Father Charlie's hand held yours in place, his gaze locked onto yours, unrelenting, his lips brushing against yours in the barest of touches, waiting, coaxing you to give in.
Your thoughts raced. So many times since that night, you had fantasized about him, dreamed about him fully taking you, about giving in to the desires that had been eating away at you. But now, with him right in front of you, so desperate, so wanting, it made you dizzy.
You were a nun, a devoted daughter, a wife to the Lord—yet here you were, on the verge of surrendering. Your lips parted as you took a shaky breath, trying to steady yourself, trying to cling to the last shreds of your faith.
But then you licked your lips, and you saw how his eyes immediately zeroed in on the movement, darkening with something almost primal. His gaze was intense, unblinking, and you felt the pull, the weight of his need, and it made something inside you snap.
With all the bravery you could muster, you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his.
It was soft, a gentle peck, barely more than a brush of your lips against his, but it was enough to make your heart race like you were running a marathon.
For a moment, you thought you could pull back, that this brief kiss could be enough to satisfy whatever it was burning between you.
But then Charlie groaned, the sound deep and raw, and before you could pull away, his hand moved to the back of your neck, pulling you back to him, his lips crashing against yours with a hunger that made your knees weak. His tongue slipped between your parted lips, invading your mouth, exploring, tasting.
The kiss was nothing like your timid attempt—it was fierce, overwhelming, consuming.
You felt his tongue caressing the inside of your mouth, tracing the shape of your teeth, stroking your own tongue, coaxing it to move with his. He moved slowly, deliberately, as if he had all the time in the world, as if he was savoring every second, every taste.
You felt your head grow light from the lack of air, your body trembling, but still, you were locked in the kiss, unable to pull away, unable to do anything but respond to him.
Your hands moved of their own accord, one of them gripping the front of his cassock, the other reaching up to tangle in his hair. The soft strands slipped through your fingers, and you could feel the heat radiating from his skin, the way his body seemed to hum with tension, with need.
Charlie's other hand moved to your waist, pulling you flush against him, and you could feel the hard lines of his body pressing into yours, the heat of him searing through the thin fabric of your habit. It made you feel like you were drowning in him, in his touch, his taste.
You whimpered against his lips, the sound muffled by the kiss, and he responded with a low growl, his hand tightening on your waist, his lips moving more insistently against yours.
Charlie pulled back, his forehead resting against yours as he panted, his breath hot and heavy, mingling with your own. His eyes were dark, filled with something raw and unrestrained, and he let out a low groan, his voice rough with desire. "I wish so badly to mark you up, to strip you down right here and lose myself in you," he murmured, his words sending a shiver down your spine. The explicitness of his words made your cheeks burn, your face flushing as you pressed it into his neck, trying to hide your embarrassment.
But he wasn't done. He tilted your chin back up, his thumb brushing over your flushed cheek, his eyes searching yours. "But it's too risky," he whispered, his voice filled with regret, and something almost feral. "So I'll settle for something much quicker."
As he spoke, his hands moved down, fingers traveling lower, bunching up the fabric of your tunic around your waist. His touch was frantic, almost desperate, his hands squeezing and kneading every inch of you he could reach, as if he couldn't get enough.
You could feel his fingers digging into your thighs, your hips, pulling you closer, pressing you against him, and it made your head spin, made your body ache with a need you didn't quite understand.
Your hands trembled as they found their place on his shoulders, your fingers hesitating, curling slightly in the fabric of his cassock. You wanted to touch him the way he was touching you, to let your hands explore, but you were too shy, too overwhelmed.
The intensity of his presence, the way his body felt against yours, it all left you breathless, your heart pounding in your chest.
Charlie's gaze remained locked on yours, his eyes dark and filled with something raw, something that made your pulse quicken. He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear, his voice a low murmur, almost a growl. "You don't have to be afraid... just let me take care of you."
Your breath hitched, your body tensing as you felt his hands venture lower, slipping beneath the waistband of your underwear. Your eyes widened, a soft gasp escaping your lips, but it was quickly swallowed by Charlie as he covered your mouth with his own, his lips moving against yours, silencing your small cries and whimpers.
His fingers moved with purpose, finding your most sensitive spot, rubbing slow circles against your clit. The sensation made your knees go weak, your body trembling against him as he worked you with an expertise that left you breathless.
You tried to pull away from the kiss, to catch your breath, but he wouldn't let you, his mouth insistent, his tongue coaxing yours to move with his, swallowing every sound you made.
Your hands clung to his shoulders, your fingers digging into the fabric as you felt his fingers slide lower, teasing your entrance before slowly pushing inside.
A muffled whimper escaped your throat, your body tensing at the intrusion, the sensation both strange and thrilling. He moved slowly, his fingers stretching you, coaxing your body to relax, to accept him. You could feel every movement, every inch as he filled you, his touch deliberate, patient.
His lips never left yours, his kiss growing deeper, more demanding, as if he could feel your hesitation and was trying to coax you further, to draw you into the darkness with him. He pulled back for just a moment, his forehead resting against yours as he spoke, his voice a low whisper, thick with desire. "You feel so good, Sister... so perfect. Just let go for me."
Before you could respond, before you could even catch your breath, his hand moved to your thigh, his fingers curling around your leg as he lifted it, wrapping it around his waist.
The new angle made everything more intense, his fingers sinking deeper, his thumb brushing against your clit, drawing a shuddering moan from your lips.
The warmth in your belly grew, turning into a small flame that licked at your insides, consuming every thought, every hesitation; your body responded to his touch, your hips moving against his hand, seeking more of the pleasure he was giving you.
Charlie's breathing grew shallow, his eyes darkening as he watched you, his gaze roaming over your flushed cheeks, the way your lips parted, the soft gasps escaping your throat.
Your thighs trembled, your body growing tense as you felt the pressure building, the sensation coiling tightly in your core, threatening to snap at any moment.
But just as you felt yourself teetering on the edge, just as the first waves of your orgasm began to crest, Charlie stopped. He pulled his fingers away, leaving you gasping, the sudden emptiness almost painful.
A soft, desperate whimper escaped your lips, your eyes fluttering open, wide and confused as you looked up at him.
He met your gaze, his lips curling into a wicked smile as he brought his fingers to his mouth, his eyes never leaving yours as he sucked them clean, his tongue swirling around each digit, savoring the taste of you. "You taste so sweet, Sister," he murmured, his voice thick with lust, his words sending a shiver down your spine. "I could spend all day between your thighs... but right now, I need something more."
He shifted, his hands moving to the waistband of his robe, shuffling the fabric around as he freed himself. You couldn't see anything, the fabric obscuring your view, but you felt it—the hard, heavy length of him brushing against your inner thigh, the sensation making your breath catch, your leg twitch involuntarily at the contact.
Charlie moved with a practiced ease, his hands gripping your hips as he shifted you, lifting you as if you weighed nothing.
Your back pressed against the wall of the confessional, the cold surface a stark contrast to the heat of his body. He adjusted his hold on you, his arms wrapping around your thighs, lifting them until both of your legs were hooked around his waist.
You felt exposed, vulnerable, the position leaving you completely at his mercy, but there was something about the way he looked at you, something in his eyes that made your heart race, made your body ache for more.
His gaze locked onto yours, his eyes filled with a mix of lust and something deeper, something that made your breath hitch, your fingers clinging to his shoulders as he held you up, pressing you against the wall. His forehead rested against yours for a moment, his breath warm against your lips, his voice barely above a whisper. "You drive me mad, Sister... Forgive me, I can't hold back any longer."
He adjusted his hold on you, one arm wrapping tightly around your waist, holding you up against the wall with ease while his other hand moved beneath the ruffled fabric of your habit.
Your legs hitched open wider, instinctively allowing him more access as you felt the warmth of his hand trailing up your inner thigh, his fingers brushing against your skin. The anticipation made your breath catch, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited, your body aching for his touch.
You gasped softly as you felt something blunt press against your clit, moving up and down your slit, the sensation different this time—firmer, hotter. You thought it was his fingers again, but then Charlie let out a soft sigh, a quiet, breathless "fuck" that made your eyes widen, the realization hitting you all at once.
He wasn't using his fingers. It was him, the hard length of him brushing against you, spreading your slickness as he moved, the pressure making your head spin, your body growing even wetter at the sinful, blasphemous intimacy of it.
His movements were slow, deliberate, his eyes locked on yours as if daring you to look away, to deny what was happening. But you couldn't—your gaze was trapped by his, your lips parted as soft whimpers escaped, the sound swallowed by the heavy air between you.
Charlie's breath grew more ragged, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, "Do you feel that, Sister? Do you see what you do to me?" His voice was thick with lust, his words a mixture of reverence and something far more depraved. He moved his hips, sliding himself against you, the friction sending sparks of pleasure through your body, making you moan softly, your fingers digging into his shoulders.
His lips moved to your neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses against your skin as he began to push inside you, his voice low and shaky as he muttered a scripture, the holy words twisted by the desire lacing his tone. "Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." His voice trailed off into a deep, guttural groan as he sank deeper, the stretch almost too much, a sharp burn that made you gasp, your eyes squeezing shut as your body struggled to adjust to him.
Charlie paused for a moment, his forehead resting against yours once again, his breathing heavy, his eyes searching your face as if looking for any sign of hesitation. But you were too lost in the sensation—the way he filled you, the way your body seemed to mold around him, the burn slowly giving way to something else, something that made your toes curl, your breath hitching as you nodded, a silent plea for him to keep going.
He smiled, a dark, almost tender smile, his lips brushing against yours as he whispered, "Perfect." His hips moved again, slowly at first, his movements careful, deliberate, as he began to build a rhythm, each thrust sending a wave of pleasure through you, the feeling overwhelming, all-consuming.
And as you clung to him, your body trembling, you knew there was no turning back, no escaping the hold he had on you.
The two of you got lost in one another, the heat between you burning like a fire, desire crackling like embers, growing hotter with every movement. Charlie's pace quickened, his breaths coming out in harsh pants, his groans muffled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his body pressing against yours as if he couldn't get close enough.
The rhythm of his thrusts grew more erratic, each one more desperate than the last, the intensity making your head spin, the pleasure building until it was almost too much.
You could hear him, his voice a mix of groans and soft, needy whines, his lips brushing against your neck, the sensation sending shivers down your spine. His hands gripped you tighter, holding you in place as he moved, the friction, the pressure, everything pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
Your body tensed, your muscles clenching around him as the band inside you finally snapped, the pleasure washing over you in a blinding wave. You gasped, your head falling back against the wall, your eyes squeezing shut as your entire body trembled, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you clung to him, riding out the high.
Charlie shuddered in your arms, his own body tensing as he felt you tighten around him, his movements growing sloppy, desperate, until he finally stilled, his hips pressing against yours as he let out a low, guttural groan.
You felt the warmth of him spreading inside you, the sensation almost surreal, the realization that you had pushed him to this point, that you had made him lose control, making your heart pound even harder.
He stayed like that for a moment, his forehead resting against yours, his breath coming in ragged gasps, his eyes half-lidded as he looked at you, something almost soft in his gaze.
Slowly, he pulled away, his hands moving to cradle your face, his thumbs brushing against your flushed cheeks as he leaned in, his nose bumping gently against yours, a small, tender gesture that made your heart swell.
Charlie's eyes held yours, his gaze intense, filled with a mix of emotions that you couldn't quite decipher. He leaned in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered, his voice still thick with the remnants of his desire. "Pleasure is deceitful... as it was for the harlot, yet I cannot resist you."
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A/N: alright guys, chill with the praise and notes or i won't be able to get rest 😔🫶🏾🫶🏾jkjkjk keep them coming i'm a whore for them 🥴
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iarchmybaculaa · 5 months ago
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Pairing: Ex! Jungkook x reader
Rating: 18+ (Please be mindful of what you consume)
Warnings: Jungkook is subjectively a little toxic, Mentions of an ongoing divorce, possessive! Jungkook, Girl Dad! Jungkook, unprotected sex (don't do that irl), oral sex (f receiving), Slight brat reader, Jeon Jungkook is a menace, reader is implied to be black
Word count: 5.2 k (I think)
🎧: Woo- Rihanna
For: @hobicakess and Paige💗
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Jungkook is good at a lot of things
Hes a fantastic singer. He dances very well (even if he likes to fein shyness at parties). Jungkook can cook, he can multitask seamlessly and (almost) effortlessly, and he can put Jinhae to sleep in a matter of minutes… It would be much easier to list the things that Jungkook isn't good at.
Jungkook isn't very good at sharing.
He doesn't like sharing food, clothes or people.
You think it may be his biggest if not only flaw.
Jungkook considers the people in his life his. He doesn't expect them to have the same importance in someone else's life, as they do in his. And he doesn't expect them to think of other people the way they do of him, either.
You don't know if it's because he fears that he'll be replaced, or because he was raised as an only child. But whatever it was, Jungkook let it consume him. Holistically.
You remember how he had reacted when Yoongi- his mentor,had taken on a new intern. Jungkook and Yoongi had attended the same highschool within a few years of each other; and had met again when Yoongi was a TA at SNU. Yoongi had taken Jungkook under his wing, as less of a student, and more like a little brother; and their bond lasted way beyond college. Yoongi was so proud of Jungkook that he was practically All he spoke about. Jungkook had gotten used to things being that way.
Then one day, all of a sudden, Yoongi was no longer “Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook”; he was all “Jimin, Jimin, Jimin” much to the Younger's chagrin.
To his credit, Jungkook was nothing but nice to Jimin during the time he worked for Yoongi. He bought him coffee once in a while and even invited him out for drinks whenever the opportunity arose. Jimin was cool. Jungkook would even go as far as to say that Jimin was his friend. Jungkook barely knew the guy! He had nothing against him.
It was Yoongi he was pissed at.
Yoongi was the one who owed Jungkook his loyalty. Yoongi was the one who had nursed Jungkook through his first hangover, and held him when he cried about failing a class. Yoongi was there when Jungkook got his first, off campus apartment. Yoongi was Jungkook 's Yoongi.
At first, Yoongi didn't understand it. It made no sense that Jungkook seemed so fond of Jimin, yet he soured whenever the latter's name was mentioned. It gave him whiplash. It went on for a solid month and a half of Jungkook's scowls and petulant pouts for Yoongi to finally realize that something was deeply wrong, and that he needed to get to the bottom of it.
It took 2 bottles of soju and 3 glasses of whiskey for Jungkook to crack. His reasoning was so funny that Yoongi almost didn't feel bad for laughing at him. All it took to pacify Jungkook was for Yoongi to give him a hug, followed by a quick
“you'll always be hyung's favourite, Kook-ah.” as he ruffled his hair.
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Jungkook was only 22 when that had happened. And he'd like to believe he's grown a lot since then.
He's advanced enough in his career that he's not Mr. Bang's payroll anymore, but rather pays him. Jungkook has grown in a literal sense too, having had a growth spurt one random day after he turned 23 (there was no containing him once he realized that he was 6 feet tall) .
Jungkook has (helped) create life; your daughter Jinhae. It's the thing he's proudest of, second only to marrying you.
But Jungkook is only human.
So it's only natural that he feels an itch rise on the back of his neck everytime he picks Jinhae up from your apartment, and all she can talk about is your new boyfriend.
He got so…irritated the more Jinhae babbled on about “Woo- Woo” that he felt a little silly. But who could blame him? He would be holding Jinhae 's hand as they walked through the park for their daddy daughter time, and every other sentence would be about this ‘’Woo Woo”.
Seokjin had once joked that she had switched from being 'Daddy's girl' to 'Woo-Woo’s girl' , and Jungkook 's body took a screenshot. He shot Jin a look so vile, that the older stayed quiet for the rest of the day.
Jungkook really had tried to ignore it as best as possible. And he (thought) he was doing fairly well until that evening, when Jinhae had let it slip that:
‘’Mama kissed Woo-Woo today.”
He had just picked her up from her taekwondo class, and was about to pull out of the parking lot when Jinhae gave him the oh so lovely news.
Jungkook isn't a monster, he thinks he's let this little charade go on for much longer than was respectable. He wasn't going to let that slide.
He took a sharp left and sped down the highway. If he wasn't so caught up in his head, he would've heard Jinhae 's excited scream of:
“YAY! we're going to Uncle Yoonie's house’
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You had just finished taking a long, warm bath. Your feet had been aching, and your back felt worse than it did before you had gotten your epidural. You needed a break; desperately.
The silence in the apartment was a welcome change.
You loved Jinhae with all your heart, but children were tiring to deal with alone. Children could be incredibly difficult, just for the fun of it. Especially spoilt, almost-five year olds who are used to their daddy obeying their every beck and call.
God forbid you didn't do “ the voice” right, after reading “The little Prince” five times in a row! suddenly you were public enemy number one.
At least you could bask in the fact that Jinhae never threw (noisy) tantrums or threw things, but you felt that she had quadruple the attitude your hus- ex, accused you of having.
But tonight, the only attitude you have to worry about dealing with, was from Kim when you researched the earliest seasons of Keeping up with the Kardashians. What can you say? There's truly nothing funnier to you than upper class white women trying to be relatable. To this dat, their target audience was a mystery to you. You can't think of a single person whose biggest problem was how many times their name got googled in a day. You find it hard to take anything they ‘’go through' seriously, because if we're being honest, people really are dying Kim!
You walk out of the bathroom wrapped in a soft white robe.
You reach for the the lilac, silk pajama set laid out on your bed. You had bought it from an online lingerie store, after a few glasses of wine a few weeks ago. You had been so…bored that you did the most exciting thing your numb brain could come up with in that moment.
You scoff at your past self. It was more cute than anything, not nearly as scandalous as some of the items you have hidden in the back of your closest. But you're not complaining.
The shorts are a bit shorter than you expected, but the silk is soft a high quality, and the lace that lines the top isn't itchy at all. You untwist your bun, and your braids cascade down your shoulders. You grab the bottle of black castor oil from your dresser, and run the nozzle along the parts. You sigh as you reach up to massage your scalp.
It's in little moments like these that you miss Jungkook the most. You hate to admit, but you used to be just as spoilt as Jinhae. Jungkook used to pamper you in every way possible. He would oil your scalp for you, order your hair products months in advance so that you'd never run out, and give you massages whenever your shoulders stood too rigid.
But you didn't have Jungkook anymore. You suck your teeth in annoyance at yourself for thinking about him so much.
You had just finished applying your vitamin c serum to your face, when you heard an incessant pounding on your door. You pause your music just as Kali Uchis asks if she can get a kiss. You're confused as to why someone is knocking on your door, when you have a very obvious doorbell attached to the frame. It's even stranger given what time it is.
You slip your feet into your cow print night slippers, as you step off the plush rug that lay on the floor in front of your vanity; and unto the floor.
The slippers slap against the floor as you walk towards the living room, and to whoever the hell wouldn't stop pounding on your door at 9pm on a Friday.
You throw the door open, ready to demand an explanation when you stop dead in your tracks.
To say you're surprised at who is standing at your door would be an understatement. You're not sure who you were expecting to see, but it certainly wasn't Jungkook. You're even more surprised to see him without Jinhae in tow.
You don't think that you've been alone with Jungkook for more than a few minutes at a time since the divorce; and even so, Jinhae has always been just a few feet away.
You feel worry start to settle in your stomach.
“Where's JJ? Is she okay?” You ask, praying that what came out of his mouth next isn't bad news.
He chuckes. It's a sound that comes from deep inside his chest and reverberates across the empty hallway. It's an empty laugh, with no humour behind it. It makes a chill run up and down your spine.
“Jinie is fine. She's with Yoongi; and she's the last of your worries right now” he says.
For once, Jungkook hasn't cracked a single smile the entire time he's been in your presence. It's obvious that he's mad, but you're not sure at what. You're not sure that you vare.
He isn't wearing a suit right now, and you can't recall the last time you'd seen him in anything but.
Jungkook worked extraordinarily long hours. You knew that working late and being burnt out would be a part of his life, especially the more his business grew, but it hadn't phased you at the time. There was nothing to be phased about.
At the time, Jungkook always put you first. And when Jinhae was born, he did the same thing. There was never a time where he had left you to fend for yourself with a newborn. He had been there through it all. From colic, to 3 am feedings to explosive diaper changes. He had never let you feel alone as a parent, or in your marriage.
Until around 8 months ago that is.
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8 months ago, you feel like Jungkook had just stopped trying.
You know for a fact that Jungkook is terrified of being poor. It's why he always has another merger to make with one of his three companies, and dips his toes into every industry imaginable. His influence spanned over tech, real estate and even clothing. You think Jungkook's fear is understandable, you don't think it's fair. It was teetering on the edge of paranoia and greed.
He was trying so bad to make sure that he could take care of his family, that he wasnt.
He would get home from work after Jinhae went to bed, and left before she got ready for school. You had spent one too many nights falling asleep on the couch waiting for him to come home; only to wake up in your bed the next morning with a handwritten note on your bathroom mirror. They were sweet and all..but not much more.
As much as you appreciated the affirmations, his words meant nothing when there was no action behind them. Promises to come home home early the, family outings that never happened… You felt like you were a kid whose love was expected to be bought with money, and placated with empty commitments all over again. You could count on a bouquet of roses being delivered at your door every morning, more than you could count on your own husband being there.
You hated it.
You were starting to hate him.
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It had gotten to a point where Jungkook had just given his secretary reign over his personal phone. You almost lost your mind when you had called him to ask what he wanted for dinner once, and she answered and told you that he was busy.
You could hear Jungkook 's laughter in the background, and the noise was not a professional setting. In fact, it sounded a lot more intimate and cozy. Like a restaurant or small bar. You felt sick to your stomach. You couldn't even get the chance to talk to Jungkook about it, because you barely saw him.
The look on his face when you served him the divorce papers in person at his office was borderline comical. His eyes had widened so far out of their sockets, that you thought the expression was causing him physical pain. You had said nothing. You simply handed him the papers and stayed long enough for him to read the heading. He clearly wanted to communicate through words on paper, so who were you to not oblige him with some?
As far as you know, Jungkook had never signed the papers, but he did follow all the other conditions you had outlined in your petition for separation.
He got an apartment for you and Jinhae in a building he didn't own, and was never late for any pickups or dropoffs, save for once when he had the flu.
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A part of you had forgotten how young Jungkook was.
The suits he wore aged him plenty. Not in an old, haggard way, but in a way that made him appear more refined and serious than he actually was. His hair was always cut short and clicked away from his face. The collars of his shirts were always ironed to sharpness. Hell, he even wore sensible shoes.
If you hadn't seen every inch of Jungkook 's body before, and gone to college with him…You would have pegged him for an uptight dogooder. You're sure it helped him get taken seriously in the corporate world, but overtime, it was as if Jungkook had forgotten his roots. As if he had morphed into a no nonsense, mormon-esque version of himself.
But the Jungkook standing before you now, is the Jungkook you know and lov- respected. Jungkook who proudly wore his colorful sleeve of tattoos,silver hoops through his lips and a stud in his nose. The Jungkook who liked to wear cargo pants and oversized shirts with stomper boots he could barely walk straight in.
You knew he had showered before he had come over, because his hair was still curly. He hadn't blow-dried it. His hair is much longer than it was when you had last saw him. It fell past his eyes now. He had started growing it out sgain because Jinhae told him she wanted to. At least, that's what he had told you.
What had really happened was that Jinhae had been asking a lot of questions about “ when appa wasn't so old” one Saturday when they had gone out for ice cream.
“Appa, Mommy says your hair used to be w-eally long and pwetty. Can it come back? Mommy misses it.”
Jungkook hadn't cut his hair again since.
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“Aren't you going to invite me in?” He asks, one eyebrow raised at you.
You fold your arms across your chest.
“I'm not sure why I should. Besides, I don't think that this is a good time.”
“Oh? Why's that? You lip expecting someone else,princess?’ He takes in your attire from head to toe. His eyes linger for a little too long in your chest. His voice goes deeper as he struggles to finish his last question.
You don't answer, and it makes his eye twitch.
It's so ridiculous, yet so on brand of him to create a hypothetical scenario in his head and get all eaten up about it. He takes a deep breath.
He doesn't want to blow his fuse. Not here, Not yet.
“ I need to talk to you. Inside. Please.” He asks, but it's not really a request.
You roll your eyes and turn your back to him as you walk away.
He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches your ass jiggle in the tiny shorts. He enters behind you, and the door closes softly with a click.
You walk over to the fridge and grab the unfinished can of Arizona Iced tea, and a glass from the cupboard. You were looking forward to having a glass of wine tonight, but if you were going to talk to Jungkook… you needed to be stone cold sober.
“You want anything?” You ask, as you pour the content into the glass. “ I think I have some b-”
“What I want is answers.” He says simply, leaning in the arched entryway.
You look at him with confusion written all over your face, before your pettiness takes over.
“ Oh yeah? Well I wanted signed divorce papers, and yet here we are.”
You take a swig from your cup and let the sweetness of the drink coat your tongue.
You see Jungkook release a breath so deep that his entire body shakes.
“ Who are you kissing in front of my kid?”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” he says with his arms crossed against his chest. “Who are you kissing in front of my kid?”
You're getting irritated now, because for one, what the hell is he talking about, and two…Who was Jungkook to talk to you like that?
“Jungkook. First of all, she's our kid. And secondly, I have no idea what the hell you're talking about. And even if I did… I wouldn't tell you jack shit. What or who I do is none of your business.”
Jungkook pushes himself off the threshold and starts walking towards you. His steps are slow and strong. His strides are long,and he has your back pressed into the counter in a matter of seconds.
You haven't been so close to Jungkook in so long, that everything about him overwhelms you in the best way possible. He smells so, so good. He smells like sandalwood and warm vanilla. He smells like home. His proximity to you is dizzying, and you can only pray that you'll keep it together.
He puts his arm on one side of you, leaving your left completely open. If you wanted to get away from him, you could. You stayed in place. It tells him everything he needs to know.
“Have you completely lost your fucking mind Y/N?” He questions. He reaches for your left hand and your heart sinks down to your ass. The diamond of your wedding ring glitters under the lights hanging from the the ceiling. The princess cut stone is practically mocking you.
“What do you think I gave you this ring for huh? Fun? Fucking decoration?” He jests, “You know, for someone who never shuts her big mouth up about divorce, you sure keep this on don't you baby?”
You don't deny it. There's no point in doing so. You know that if you do, he'll lift the ring upwards. And you know that when he does, he'll find the unmistakable circle of a tan line wrapping around your ring finger.
He strokes his thumb against your cheek, and you almost preen at his touch. “Who's ‘Woo- Woo’ baby?”
“None of your business.” You bite out.
“When are you gonna get it through your thick skull, that you are my business?!”
He runs his hand through his long hair, and you can see his face so much better. He's as beautiful as you remember and he's right in front of you.
You don't know who leaned in first, but you do know how soft lips feel as they press against yours. You fell the metal of his lip piercings touch the roof of your mouth as you suck his lip into you mouth.
He puts his hand under your ass, and your legs wrap around him on instinct. He lifts you and bring you over to the cool marble of the kitchen island.
His hand tugs on the hem of your blouse, and you pull away from him.
“Kook, we can't.” You whine as you pull away.
Jungkook uses his thumb to wipe some of the spit from the corner of your mouth, and fixes your shirt so your boob is no longer at risk of spilling out.
“Okay baby, we'll stop and we can talk over dinner. Do you want me to make something or do you want to get takeout?” He asked as he pulls away from you.
He doesn't get very far, because you wrap your legs around him, and pull you back to him.
“Wait- I didn't really mean that.” You whisper. Jungkook has a sneaking suspicion that you weren't just talking about telling him no.
“You want me baby?”
You nod your head yes, too embarrassed to open your mouth lest your voice shake.
He cradles your face, and tilts it upwards so you have no choice but to look him in the eyes.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” You answer affirmatively, reaching forwards to capture his lips again.
Youre not even thinking about the Pandora's box that you might be opening; and quite frankly? You don't care.
You're acutely aware that you wont be able to blame your decision on being drunk or tipsy. The only thing driving you was a burning need to have Jungkook deep inside you (where he belonged).
He litters kisses along your neck as he slides his hand down your shorts. Your hips buck forward on instinct, and you shudder as you feel his fingers ghost your clit.
“Why are you naked under here?” He growls out. grip tightening around you waist. “I'm starting to think that you were expecting someone tonight.” he muses.
He spreads your folds with two fingers, reveling in the way your arousal leaks out of you and unto his fingers.
“ Is that why you're so eager, baby? Hm? Is that why you're so wet? You decided that you were gonna get fucked one way or another? Is that it?”
He asks each question as he thrusts his fingers in and out of you. It shallow. He doesn't allow you the pleasure of going further than his first knuckle. You try to grind down on his digits, but he holds your hips down with his free hand.
“Whoever you've been giving my pussy away to, hasn't been doing a very good job... have they?” He groans as you clench around him.
“Jungkook please. I want-”
“Shh baby, I know. I'll give it to you I promise. Just give me one first” he begs as he speeds up his circles on your clit.
He sinks his teeth into the sensitive spot on your neck, and you cum almost instantly. Your body shakes and you wrap your arms around his neck as your pussy convulses around his fingers.
You barely have time to recover before he's pulling your shorts down, and cleaning up the mess you made. He catches the slick of you orgasm on your tongue just as it starts running down your leg.
He goes at your pussy like a man starved. You cry out the moment his tongue enters you. You ride his tongue with vigor, gripping unto the counter for stability.
Jungkook pulls away from you for moment. His mouth is shiny from your juices, and his eyes are already so blown out that you want to fuck him even more.
He guides your hand to his hair, and encourages you to grab the tendrils.
“Use me, baby” he instructs.
His voice is so gravelly and raw, that you can do nothing but oblige him.
You grip the roots of his hair and push his head back between your legs. You both moan when he starts lapping at you again. You hold his head in place, guiding him where you want him; where you need him.
The second time you cum, your legs closed so tight around his head that Jungkook thought he had died and went straight to heaven.
You pull him away from your core by his hair, and bring him up to your face. You clean his face with your own tongue, and lean in to kiss him so you both taste like you. Your chests are still heaving when Jungkook carries you to your room.
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He lays you gently on the bed, and takes his shirt off at the same time you toss your blouse over your head. He's about to undo the strings of his sweatpants when he stops cold in his tracks..
“ Shit, baby…I don't have any condoms. I didn't plan on this-”
“ It's okay,” You reassure him “ I'm clean. Are you?”
Jungkook looks a little scandalized. “Of course I'm clean, I haven't - I havent been with anyone except you since before we started dating.” His honesty shines so brightly in his eyes that you almost want to pull him into a hug.
You release a shaky, nervous breath you didn't know you had been holding.
“ Good. I want to feel you, all of you.”
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The bed sinks as Jungkook climbs over you, one leg on each side of your body.
You've missed this view. Him on top of you, chain swining in your face, and big doe eyes filled with lust for you and only you.
He takes a hairtye from around his wrists, and pulls his hair into a low manbun. His cock is already painfully hard, red and leaking from the tip.
You spread your legs as Jungkook nestkes in-between them. He lifts one of your legs over his shoulder, and presses a soft kiss to your calf.
He rubs himself between your folds, mesmerized by how quickly your wetness coats him.
He lines himself up with your entrance, and pauses.
“Are you sure you're ready baby? I don't want to hurt you.”
“ Is that it? Or are you scared that you don't hold a candle to ‘Woo-Woo’ my” you jest. Jungkook doesn't find it very funny.
He pushes himself into you, but as wet as you are, you're still so, so tight. Your pussy is so warm…hot even, that Jungkook almost cums the moment yes fully sheathed in you.
You're just as tight as he remembers, tighter even.
You both moan when he delivers his first thrust. You haven't had dick in so long,that you'd forgot what it felt like. How it felt like to have your walls stretched and your g spot caressed, how delicious and heavy the drag was inside you. How good Jungkook was at this. You feel so good that Jungkook practically forgets that he's supposed to be mad at you.
“You know you belong to me right?” Jungkook demands as he thrusts into you, slow and forceful. You don't answer and turn your face away from him He wraps his hand around your throat as speed up.
“Fucking look at me when I'm talking to you!”
His thrusts become faster, punishing. He practically ploughs you into the mattress as whatever restraint he had before vanishes into thin air. You scream the more intense the pleasure gets.
“ I should fuck another baby into you, you know that? Hm? Should swell your tummy up with another one of my kids, so you have nine months to think about why the fuck you would do something as stupid as try to leave me.”
He finds your gspot as effortlessly as he usually does, and he hits it over and over and over again.
“Jungkook PLEASE” you cry. You reach your hand out to push against the hardness of his abdomen. He takes your hand and kisses it. You're so close. So fucking close, and Jungkook can tell.
“You want to cum, don't you baby?”
You nod frantically. Your pussy is practically raw from overstimulation, and you feel so much pressure building inside you that you don't know whether you want to run away from the pleasure or dive headfirst into it.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! I need to please.”
“Then tell me. Fucking tell me you're mine”
“Fuck, I'm yours, Jungkook! Please!” you cry.
“ How many people have you fucked since you left? Answer me!” He commands you, adding a finger to your clit to the mix.
“Nobody, no one, Jungkook Please!”
“ I know baby, I just needed you to admit it.”
He leans down and places a soft kiss to your temple. He gives you two more delicious thrusts that make your toes curl and your eyes roll back. Your lurches forward as your orgasm rips through you. Your walls convulse around him, squeezing him so tight that Jungkook feels a bit dizzy.
“Baby,” he whines “unwrap your legs so I can pull out.” He gasps when your legs only wrap tighter around him. “Baby, I have to-”
“N-no,” you protest “ I want it inside Jungkook please.”
He cums so forcefully that his orgasm leaves him winded and his arms almost give out. He spils his seed into you, and you feel the warmth of it coat your walls.
He pulls out of you as he begins to soften, and collapse beside you as he tries to catch his breath. You both turn to look at each other, and Jungkook offers you a soft smile.
He notices the sweat starting to bead on your forehead, and turns his head to switch your fan on.
That's when you see it. Your eyes bug out of their sockets.
“Jungkook, what the hell is that on your neck?”
“ What are you talking about?”
“Right there,” you turn his head to the right to get a better look. Your heart starts thumming uncontrollably in your chest. Because there it was, your name in bold black letters for everyone to see.
“Jungkook…When did you get that?”
“Hm…about five months ago?” he chuckles. He had the decency to look sheepish.
“Jungkook!” You say as you slap his chest “ We weren't even together!”
“ Correction, we are together, we just have separate living arrangements.”
You look at him incredulously.
“You're crazy, you know that?’
“About you? Yeah..Real crazy baby” he flirts “Hey, you never told me woo this ‘Woo-Woo’ guy is anyways .”
You roll you eyes at him as you climb of the bed.
“I can't tell you who he's not. He's not the one whose cum is dripping out of me right now. Are you gonna join me on the shower or what?”
Fin.
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gravegoer · 11 days ago
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Take a hint. ✿ part 2
part 2 finally!! im really proud of this writing. i had a lot of fun, and i think it brings a lot more depth to the story :) Part one HERE <3
my masterlist
sevika putting up with more oblivious reader!! this time, how does she react when her subtle ways of flirting don't get to you. every move she makes seems to bounce right off your head and land back in her hands !! [short little blurb at the end for the cute ending]
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After your previous encounter with Sevika, you start to see her around more than you'd like. After having a few drinks with you and playing a game of cards (which you lost), you think you could even call the woman a friend.
You dont notice it, but she's gone soft. Specifically around you. Surprisingly, she didn't make you pay her for the forsaken poker game. Even more surprisingly, it seems as if you never had to drop a coin when you're in her presence.
Wanted a drink? It's on her. Ran into her when grabbing a snack? You just earned yourself a free pastry. Grabbing a ride home in the dark? She's got your cab. (And threatened the driver)
All of this in your eyes was simply nice deeds from a nice friend. In other peoples eyes, the undercities most threatening woman had been tamed.
She insists on walking you home after an encounter at the bar with the repeated saying, "I have nothing better to do, so I guess I'll do you the favor."
She glares at anyone who even tries to look your way. She knows you're a pretty thing, but she wants you for her eyes only. Obviously, this goes unnoticed by you as her nasty looks are sent over your head.
The people in Zaun are undoubtedly curious about your relationship. In a way, it almost scares Sevika, knowing that if the wrong person knows about you, you could immediately turn into a liability.
Having said this: she tried to keep her "affections" away from prying eyes, but she couldn't help but smirk when you asked questions about her arm or her job, even Silco, seeming genuinely curious. She'll answer with a teasing remark and an almost genuine smile.
Of course she does still have her guard up around you, only having known you for a few months. But one day caused her to be more vunerable with you more than she ever has to anyone since she was a kid.
A loud thud wakes you, its the middle of the night, what the fuck could that possibly be?
You glanced at your clock, the minute hand on 35, the hour hand on—two?? It was the ripe hour of two a.m., and you couldn't get some peace and quiet in Zaun. You almost rolled over to the other side of the bed before you heard an almost silent grunt from outside.
This prompted you to sit up and grab a jacket that was resting on your nightstand, still barelegged you made your way to the front door. The door creaked as you opened it, and you jumped at the sight of Sevika, on the ground, leaning against your doorframe. "You do know it's dangerous to open your door in the middle of the night to a stranger, right?" Sevika teased.
You panicked, "Sevika! What happened—I mean, why are you— did you plan on sitting on my doorstep if I wasn't awake? You're seriously reckless!" You tugged at her arm trying to get her up.
"Slow down, I just needed a place to sit and catch my breath thats all." She grunted at your motions, stumbling up but standing nonetheless.
"Catch your breath? Are you crazy?" You catch a glimpse at the blood seeping through her shirt, "Shit— are you okay?" You led her into your house, letting her plop down onto the couch with a grunt.
You told her to stay there (not like she could move) as you went to the bathroom to grab some bandages and other miscellaneous things you assumed you needed. You barely noticed your hands trembling when you opened the cabinet. You were worried. Extremely worried. I mean, you knew her job was dangerous, but like this? Damn.
As you re-entered the living room, Sevika was perched haphazardly on your couch, barely fitting with her size. She clutched her torso, where blood stained her shirt and dripped down her arm. You hurried over to her, dropping to your knees beside her left leg to move her hand and survey the wound. "Already on your knees for me?" She let out a strained chuckle.
You rolled your eyes at the crude joke, "Will you be serious?"
She went quiet while you pulled her shirt up and started to disinfect the wound. She hissed at the slight burning, but you continued. At a particularly tender spot, she grunted and grabbed your wrist for a moment but pulled away quickly.
"How did this happen?" You questioned, less shakey now that you had her on your couch, somewhat fixed up.
"Just some enforcers, trying to mess with Silcos people. He gave me the task of getting rid of them. The usual," She stared at you her gaze shufting to the goosebumps on your bare legs.
"The usual?" You muttered to yourself.
You motioned for her to scoot forward so you could wrap the bandages all the way around her exposed (but now clean) torso. If you were looking, you'd see the way her face contorted in embarrassment. But of course, you weren't.
"So...why my doorstep? Like, why not... I dont know— Silcos?" You shrugged.
"Silco? Seriously? You think I'd go to the guy who put me in this mess over you?" She scoffed, shifting in a way that wouldn't strain her wound. Then, she brushed her hand over your leg, trying to calm the coldness with the heat of her hand.
Humming at the warmth, you asked, "So what im hearing is you like me more than your boss?"
"Well yeah? You're—" She cut herself off when she caught your gaze, looking up at her through your eyelashes.
"I should go, I need to report back to Silco." She quickly gained composure again but made no move to get up.
"Back to Silco? Sevika, I think you can wait the night. You're hurt." You unconsciously leaned into her touch, her hand still resting on your thigh.
You got up, heading to the bathroom to put your leftover supplies away; leaving no room for disagreement.
You could hear her shuffling around outside and stand up to open the bathroom door. You open it to her standing closer than you expected, leaning on the doorframe. Her flesh arm balanced just above your head, mechanical arm on her hip.
"You're too sweet on me, y'know that?" The woman questions a hint of humor in her voice.
"Well thats what friends are—" She cuts you off.
"No. No more of that friend bullshit. Do you not see what im always trying to imply here?" She was now getting irritated.
"Sevika what the hell are you talking about?" Before you can barrage her with more questions she groans and clutches her torso, head falling onto her arm.
Your demeanor instantly shifts, now putting your hands atop her mechanical arm with concern. She pushes your hands away and groans either out of pain or frustration (probably a mix of both). "Let me help you." You wrapped your arms around yourself, sighing at Sevikas' sudden outburst.
"You've done enough. We are just friends, after all. You dont need to overstep." She started walking (stumbling) towards the front door.
You followed after her in frustrated strides, faster than her limping form. Standing in front of her, you blocked her path to the door, "Are you trying to imply we are more than friends?"
"No. I just said we are just friends? Did you hear me," She spoke shortly and with an obvious temper.
"Dont be smart with me," You pointed a finger in her face.
"I've been trying to talk you up, okay? I thought you'd notice, but i guess you're just as dumb as I thought you were," She stood motionless, waiting for you to speak.
"Wait..like the guy at the bar that you said tried to get into my pants?" You cocked your head to the side, making a face.
She almost growled at you, pushing you out of the way so she could get to the door. I mean, seriously? She's going to basically confess to you, and you twiddle it down to her wanting to get in your pants? She's no better than the guy at the bar, right?
Before she can even touch the knob you pull her by the shoulder, spinning her already weak body around (something you definitely wouldn't be able to do when she's at full health) and stared up at her. "I wouldn't mind it." You said a little too confidently.
You slid your hand down her mechanical arm and held onto her forearm. "You wouldn't mind.. me trying to get into your pants?" She cocked an eyebrow.
"Yep."
"Alright." She sighed, sliding her human hand down her face, "I just thought you knew. Since you're always doing shit like that, " She motioned with a tilt of her head to your hand on her prosthetic.
"Like what?"
"You know nobody else wants to touch my mechanical arm. Especially in the way you do." You recall all the ways you held onto it when you walked together or tapped on it languidly when you're bored.
"Well, im not scared of you, you know?" You spoke somewhat defensively.
"Yeah. I caught onto that." She grumbled.
"Can we just go sit down and talk about this?" You sighed.
Not letting you pull away, she latched her other hand onto the back of your neck and pulled your head up towards hers. She bent over ever-so-slightly to meet you in the middle and pressed her thick lips against yours.
Her mouth tasted like a burnt cigar and something bitter, but you leaned in nonetheless. Your free hand gripped onto her bicep and pulled her impossibly closer. A grunt escaped her mouth at that and you realized she was still hurt.
"I'm sorry did I hurt you—" You pulled away.
"No." She lied, trying to pull you back in.
You retaliated and giggled at her eagerness. "Can I sit you down and make you something to drink before we 'talk' about this?" You quoted yourself, knowing talking most likely wasn't needed for the next few hours.
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thank you for reading :) i have to taglist yet, so pleasseee specifically, comment if you want to be on it ! for now, I'll tag the people that have commented on part 1 so far !! <3 im slightly new to this, so support, tips, and reuqests are ALWAYSSS appreciated
@lesbo-tuliplvrr @luvmei
and i hope you guys like this as much as i did <33 thank youuu kissessss
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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago
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Hello Mr. Gaiman:
This is not actually a question, but I think this is something I must tell you.
Since season 2, you have seen how people are reacting because they are feelings thing they didn't expect to feel, which made them mad or sad. But I want to thank you for it.
I'm 21 now, and I've being dealing with depresion since 15. When people think about this illness, they might imagine someone who is hugely sad, but that's not my case (there's nothing more personal as this type of mental illnesses, never two alike) In my case, I stopped feeling at all. I don’t feel joy, nor sadness; not anger or hope. I don’t get excited about a book or entertain myself doing things I used to love. It's like being a NPC, like watching someone living my life instead of living it myself.
In 2019 I was in one of my darkest periods, and I found this two innefable beings, and it might sound ridiculous, but they made me feel something. I don`t even know what it was, the only think I knew was that, for the first time in years, I was not watching a serie only to have some noise that might distract me from my thoughts. For the first time, I connected with some characters as I used to do before getting bad. And when I finished it and a second season was announced, once again it might sound ridiculous, but it made me stay alive. There was hope, there was something I really wanted to be alive to watch. And you can't even imagine how powefull that little hope can be when you have lost all of it, I may still be in a dark place, but there's this little light that reminds me that there is a whole world out of it.
So yes, season 2 made me feel thing I was not expecting to fell (as season 1 did), and I can't be more gratefull for it. And I wanted you to know it, cause even if you don't realise about it, you and Terry saved the live of a little teenager who had lost hope, and I'm sure I am not the only one who can relate to this.
So thank you, Mr. Gaiman.
That warmed my heart.
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genderqueerdykes · 10 months ago
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is there anything that has happened since starting T that you didn't expect to happen? or that you feel you were not adequately informed about (by doctors, peers, etc), and that really should be more common knowledge?
that's such a great question, thank you for asking! that's a huge yes from me! here's what i experienced that i was definitely caught off guard by and not warned about that presented some challenges:
I was not told that because my body is changing, growing, and adjusting to a new balance in my endocrine system that i would be very exhausted for quite a while. i already have chronic fatigue but i basically struggled to get out of bed for about 2 weeks after starting T- i wasn't depressed, i was just exhausted. this is due to the fact that my muscles were becoming denser and rearranging themselves, my facial and body structure were changing, i was growing more hair, etc. that takes a lot of energy!
Similarly to the point above, no one told me that it would make you hungry as hell, and require you to eat a lot more. if you feel like you're "over eating" after just starting testosterone, you're probably not- your base caloric intake needs to increase because you are literally growing and changing, and also, high testosterone bodies tend to need more calories anyways
Body hair growth is ITCHY!!!! and sometimes even painful! growing hair in sensitive areas like your armpits, crotch and ass can be extremely uncomfortable if not painful at times. I've heard from even cis men who have told me that growing their ass hair was extremely painful and uncomfortable due to how that area is configured- if you find that hair growth is uncomfortable this is pretty normal, but always seek help if it becomes unbearable or you feel there are ingrown hairs. Also nose hair and ear hair become more of a thing, now
Testosterone will thicken your vocal cords and drop your voice, but you also have to teach yourself how to speak from your chest, or how to drop your voice to sit in a lower range naturally or else you will still sound pretty similar to your pre-transition voice, unless that is your goal. The effects are very strong, but many transmascs*, trans folk* etc. don't see as much change as they would if they also trained their voice at the same time while it's dropping
Your boobs will become flatter and sometimes smaller and a lot saggier. This is normal!
Whenever i re-start testosterone and when i started it for the first time, i had some pretty heavy menstrual periods for a while; sometimes your body reacts in the opposite way at first before totally stopping your periods altogether. it's almost like "rebound" symptom, if you know what that mean
Restless energy will very much become a thing, if you notice you're starting to get pissed off and can't place a finger on why you feel agitated and like you're going to explode, you might just need to do some physical activity for a while
that's all i could think of for now, but if i think of anything else, i'll be sure to add it to this post! thanks for asking, i hope this was informational! good luck out there in your journey!
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cheapshrimpysheep · 1 year ago
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Sending Love - Part 1
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SUMMARY: How do they react to seeing you make a heart with your hands for them in the classroom? And how do they reciprocate you?
CHARACTERS: Heartslabyul (Riddle, Ace; Deuce; Cater; Trey); Savanaclaw (Leona; Jack; Ruggie) & Octavinelle (Azul; Jade; Floyd)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Bullet Points
WORD COUNT: An average of 180 words per character.
COMMENTS: Some are longer than others because some of them would take longer to reciprocate your heart. Or at least I think they would. And since I decided to write for all students and there are 22 of them, I divided this into 2 parts.
Sending Love - Part 2
I hope you enjoy 🫶
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CONTEXT: You two are in the same classroom (for whatever reason) sitting relatively far from each other. It was a class with Professor Trein.
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It's rare that Riddle isn't paying full attention in class, but for some reason, he decided to look at you for a moment.
You might have already been looking at him and you didn't look away when he was the one looking at you. Which also made him keep looking at you.
He had a slightly reproachful expression on his face that you weren't paying attention in class.
When you make a heart with your hands for him and smile, he blushes! And he diverts his gaze to the blackboard, in an attempt to refocus on what he should.
A few minutes later you look back at him, who was discreetly looking at you. He looks away back to the blackboard, but you see his hand, resting on the table, but forming a heart with thumb and forefinger in your direction.
After class, he'll give you a little lecture about paying more attention in class. And he takes the opportunity to invite you to the next Unbirthday Party.
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You look at Ace and he looks at you. He gestures at you, showing that he is bored.
You laugh softly and make a heart with your hands for him.
He is slightly surprised at first, but makes a heart with his hands back at you with a smile and a wink.
Chances are he's going to keep doing that for the rest of the class because he's bored.
Also, high chances of both of you getting caught at some point by Professor Trein. He will call you two out and the other students will laugh at you and comment on what happened.
Ace will defend you, saying that the others are just jealous. And the professor will have to shut him and the others up again.
After class, if the two of you aren't grounded, he'll continue to tell you not to mind the others, they're just jealous.
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Deuce always tries his best to pay attention and try to understand everything he can from the lessons.
But he can't stop himself from getting distracted by looking at you every now and then.
You see him with that slightly desperate face of someone who is having difficulties in class despite the effort. And make a heart with your hands for him, like a lovely "hang in there".
He is clearly taken by surprise, to the point that the colleagues next to him noticed him suddenly straightening up in his chair.
He will try to convince his colleagues that it wasn't nothing. And if, for some reason any of them try to insist, he will threaten them with something like "None of your business!"
He'll be so worried about not getting either of you in trouble that he'll forget to reciprocate the heart for a while.
When things are calmer, he will look back at you, waiting for you to look at him and, shyly, smile at you and make a heart with his hands for you, discreetly.
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Like any other student, Cater lets himself be distracted from time to time. And this time, he gets distracted by looking at you.
He is the one who starts, smiling at you. And you respond by making a heart with your hands.
That lights up the smile he already had on his face. He rests his elbows on the table and rests his chin on the back of his hands and in the most discreetly ingenious way, he makes a heart shape with his forearms. And still winks at you.
In the end, you're the one getting the most flattered.
After class, if you let him, he might walk up to you and kiss you on the cheek. After all, you made his day with that cute heart of yours. He wants to reciprocate in the best way.
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Obviously, Trey isn’t a bad student, but even he gets distracted from time to time. And he ends up looking at you.
When you look at him, he gives you a soft smile. You take the opportunity and make a heart with your hands for him.
He looks surprised at first and smiles sweetly at you in response. He surveys the classroom and notices that neither the professor nor the other students are paying attention to either of you.
He looks back at you and also makes a heart with his hands for you. With a sweet and somewhat confident smile.
The next day, you will find a small bag with heart-shaped cookies of your favourite flavour, with a little note saying "You should pay more attention in class."
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When you look at him, Leona is already looking at you, indiscreetly. He doesn't like the classes, they're all boring to him. And he decided that you would be the most interesting thing in the classroom.
He smiles amused to see you getting flattered by see him paying more attention to you than in class.
He winks at you to mess with you even more.
You look around to see if anyone is looking at you, and when you see that they are concentrating on what the professor is writing on the board, you look back at Leona and make a heart with your hands for him.
He laughs, not too loudly, but loud enough to get the attention of some of his classmates and Professor Trein. It's not that common to see him laughing like that. Not his usual sarcastic laugh, but an amused laugh.
Professor Trein asked him what was so funny that Kingscholar himself laughed? But he says it was nothing and the professor didn't need to worry, that he wouldn't do it again. In his carefree way.
Congratulations, you got Leona's attention for the rest of the class.
The next time you look back at Leona, he'll be leaning back with his arms crossed. And he will purposely uncross them to make a heart with his thumb and forefinger for you with a smile on his face.
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Jack is a good boy and he was paying attention in class. He's kind of cute looking so intently at the professor and the blackboard.
When he looks at you, probably because he sensed that you were already looking at him, you can't resist making a heart with your hands for him.
You see him raise his eyebrows and put his ears back in surprise. What you couldn't see was his tail wagging.
He looks undecided for a few seconds, not knowing what to do first: go back to paying attention in class or reciprocate you. Not reply you must be impolite, right? Or you might think he doesn't reciprocate the feeling.
As soon as he sees another opportunity, where no one is looking at you two, he will look at you and, as soon as you look at him, he will look at his hands on the table for you to look at them too.
You see him making a shy heart with his index and middle fingers.
As soon as he sees your smile, he will smile back at you and go back to paying attention in class. He will have a slight smile for, probably, all day.
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Ruggie probably looked at you because he was getting bored in class.
When you notice and look at him, he smile playfully.
You decide to answer that smile by making a heart with your hands for him.
His smile widens, turning into a small chuckle. He stretches out, bringing his hands behind his head. He waits a bit, to give the other students time to get back to focusing on the lesson, or anything else. And put his hands inward over his head, making a big heart with his arms around him for you.
You weren't expecting that, which made you laugh a little. And consequently, him too.
Every next time you look at him, he'll make hearts with his hands for you, just to entertain himself by messing with you.
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Azul is one of the best students in the school and for that reason he is also usually one of the most attentive in class. However, he’s not usually attentive only to the lesson.
He also tends to glance over the students to figure out who the next poor and unfortunate... I mean, the next student in need of his services might be.
And inevitably, his gaze falls on you. When you look at him, he smiles, that classic, confident smile that is his signature.
What he didn't expect was for you to return that smile with a heart made with your hands for him.
His glasses even crooked on the bridge of his nose. He quickly straightened them, using the hand to cover his mouth and, possible, blush.
But he cannot be indebted to you. He must reciprocate that.
Then, he recomposes his posture, checks that neither the professor nor the other students are looking at any of you, looks at you with his smile (trying to hide how flattered he really was) and makes a heart with his hands for you.
And don't you dare blow him a kiss! Or at least that's what he's thinking. Neither his pride nor his heart can take it
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Jade tends to be quite observant in class. Mainly to try to find possible "clients” for Azul.
Inevitably, his gaze falls on you. When you look at him, he smiles at you.
You decide to respond to him not only with a smile, but also with a heart made with your hands for him.
He raises his eyebrows slightly, in surprise, before chuckling. Then he makes a heart with his hands for you, just like you did, with that charming smile of his.
He did it so naturally and without concern for the glares of others that his deskmates looked almost in shock at his heart-shaped hands.
And then to you, with the look of someone who asks "Who is capable of making him do this?" And unfortunately for you, if you don't like being the centre of attention, it will attract the attention of other curious students.
If Jade starts noticing too many people for his liking looking at you, he will clear the throat loudly, causing all heads to look away from you.
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Floyd couldn't care less about that class. So he decided to stare at you. And, eventually, he'll feel like messing with you.
You will start to feel little balls of paper hit your hands, arms, cheeks... until you finally look at him. He was using a rubber band as a slingshot. He smiles at you, like a naughty big child.
You show him your sulky face for what he did, but then you decide to mess with him too, in your own way. And you make a heart with your hands for him.
His smile only grows. As if he knew he could count on you to entertain him a little in that class. To the point where he laughs out loud, not caring in the least if he caught the attention of the other students and even the professor. What happened.
Knowing Floyd already, Professor Trein warns him not to do that again and to contain his laughter next time if he doesn't want to be kicked out of the classroom.
To pretty much everyone's surprise, he nods, as if he doesn't want to leave the classroom.
He waits until everyone stops paying attention to you two to return the heart to you. And start a game that whenever you look at each other you have to make a heart for the other. At least during that class or until he had had enough.
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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nkogneatho · 1 year ago
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۪۫❁ུ۪۪𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 °࿐
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—a/n: first thing i wrote after hiatus so still a bit rusty but i tried my best to deliver my emotions. If this gets good response, I'll do part 2. Not proofread. fem!reader
#mlist #taglist #art commissions
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𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎.𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐎𝐖𝐒
For someone who's so confident, Satoru for the first time found himself anxious, legs trembling in the wonderment of what his bext action should be. He was standing at the altar in his neat pale grey suit. All eyes were fixated on him. But that's not what made him nervous. It was how he would react when he sees you. And just then, you appeared like the fragment of his best intentions.
The wedding band started playing the theme. Your white flowy satin dress dancing to the rhythm of the wind. Your beautiful face concealed a little from the veil. You looked so perfect. And just when you finally reached the altar, you stood parallel to him, smiling and satisfied with his reaction. You've never seen him so engorged in something—or someone.
The minister asked him to proceed with the vows.
"Y/N L/N. I usually am the one to talk a lot. But for the first time, I am short of words." You smiled at him.
"I think it's crazy how I see you everyday, but somehow you still manage to take my breath away with how beautiful you are. I know I call myself the honored one...but trust me darling, I am nothing but a fish in your ocean. You...you are my everything. And when I say that, I mean it. I want you to know that if the world is ever against you, I'll be in the front protecting you with all I have. I love you so much, baby." It feels like he's choking on his words.
This man that just said thst he's at loss for words, proceeded to make you tear up with a poetry. You've never been love so much in life. It feels unreal. But you know it's all true when as soon as you say "I do" his lips are on yours, reminding that every touch you feel is real.
𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄
The hall was decorated with white lillies and tulips that you loved so much. People grooving and chattering to the background music. Soon it was time for the moment you've been waiting for. The dance. Your first dance with Geto. The lights dimmed and the spotlight hit the floor as you and Suguru walked into the bright refraction on the floor. The crowd dispersing away to give the newly married couple their full attention.
One of his hands was on your waist while the other intertwined one of yours.
Put your head on my shouuulder...
You both smiled wide as you couldn't have asked for a better song. This was the song that you once told Geto you'd like to dance to. Since then, he remembered to play twirl you around to Paul Anka at every occasion. And this one had to be the best one yet.
Hold me in your arms, baby...
He mouthed the words and you couldn't help but giggle. Suguru doesn't usually sing but he has this deep voice that blend perfectly to the song. It sounds like heaven.
"Get ready to dance to this every anniversary, my love," he whispered.
The room was filled with so many people. Yet, when your eyes recasted your signature "i love you" look, he suddenly felt the world disappear, and only you two exist.
That's when he realized, he really did get lucky when you fell in love with him.
𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍
As always, you woke up late. It's surprising how Toji looks like the one who'd be irresponsible when it's actually you. But hey! He can't complain about it. Weddings and Receptions are tiring. If he could, he'd let you sleep for one whole day if you didn't have a flight to catch. You quickly got dressed and rushed to the airport with your man.
The flight was awful since you were irritated by the snorer next to you. Trust me. You wanted to stuff the macadamia nuts in his nostrils but Toji stopped you from doing so. He had a better and more rational solution of putting headphones over your ears and playing you your favorite song. Your lips widened when his thumb started circling your thighs to calm you and make you relax.
Upon arriving to the hotel, you finally took a big stretch to wash all the tiredness away.
"IT'S HONEYMOON TIME, BABY!!"
You jumped in excitement and pretty much everyone at the entrance was staring at you and Toji. He won't stop you though. He loves watching you dance around everytime you're happy.
You both walked towards the receptionist, with Toji carrying all the luggage. Gotta use the big beefy man privilege baby.
"Good afternoon. How may I help you?"
"Good afternoon. We reserved a suite here a week ago."
"Okay. May I please know the name you reserved it under?" she asked.
"Oh it's Mr. And Mrs. Fushiguro." The moment those words left your lips, Toji felt his world shift. He knew that you were a Fushiguro when you signed the marriage certificate. He knew it when you said "I do" at the altar. He knew it when he placed the ring on your finger. But hearing it from your mouth made him have butterflies in his stomach. Wow. You are really his. He couldn't for one second believe it.
"So this is how heaven feels like," he mumbled.
"You said something, baby?"
"Oh nothing, my love. Just that you're beautiful "
"I'm running on four hours of sleep. My under eyes are darker than your black shirt," you whispered.
"I don't know what you're talking about. You're still the most beautiful person to exist," he argued and you just rolled your eyes. You genuinely wanted to know how he manages to find you beautiful at every occasion.
"Are you in denial?"
"No, darling. I am in love."
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heyimkana · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr won't allow me to post anything more than 10MB, so I'm splitting it into 2 tracks. And again, this translation may not be 100% correct.
Storyline: It has the same setting as my previous post, you and your boyfriend are in a long-distance relationship because you're studying in another country. In this track, your boyfriend pays you a surprise visit. He shows up at the cafe where you usually spend hours working on your assignment. It's been so long since you both saw each other, and you're surprised because he looks more masculine now, like an adult, though he says he's still very childish at heart seeing how he missed his sleep last night simply because he got too excited about seeing you.
You were studying before, but now that he's here, you stop to greet him. You sit down together, chatting for a bit. He says you look different too, more mature. Then he pauses, looking at you, and...
00.02 Umm... I can wait until you're finished with your studying, but after that, can I go to your room? Ah, I mean, look, I'm carrying a big suitcase with me. Walking around with this would be troublesome so, umm... Really, I don't have any weird intention.
00.26 Sorry, I lied. I actually... can't hold it anymore...
00.34 I want to be alone with you as soon as possible. I want to hold you...
(You head back to your room with him)
00.58 I'm sorry... I didn't mean to suddenly do things with you like this, but... Seeing you in person really makes me want to hold you right away... Makes me want to kiss you...
01.23 Really, I'm sorry, but... I can't hold back anymore.
(He starts undressing you, rushing)
01.40 I'm gonna touch you...
01.45 You're already wet... I'm glad. So it's just not me who's turned on.
01.59 Have you been waiting for me too?
02.05 I just kissed you but you're already so wet down here...
02.13 Do you want me to touch you here more? Or can I put it in?
02.22 Oh, you're suddenly tightening around my fingers. Are you reacting to my words?
02.29 I guess, you can't hold yourself back too, huh?
02.41 I'll put it in, okay?
(He grabs a condom and put it on)
03.01 *thrusts* Ah, t-this sensation... It's been a while since we did this so... It's bad... (meaning he's too sensitive)
03.07 I think... I won't last long... Sorry...
03.22 D-don't do that... Don't tighten up around me too hard...
03.28 I'm really about to cum...
03.39 Seriously, this is bad... At this rate, I'm gonna cum before I can make you feel good.
(He stops, pulling away)
03.58 Sorry... I'm gonna stop for a bit. Can you move for me?
04.08 I'll pull you up now.
TRACK 02
00.02 Sorry, I had to do this 'cause I feel like I'm gonna cum fast if I don't.
(He places you on his lap)
00.09 Like this, you can move however you like.
(You ask him, "But will you feel good this way?")
00.15 It's okay. Right now, everything feels so good to me. Try to hit the spot that makes you feel good too.
00.36 As I thought, this feels amazing...
00.42 Hey... Can I kiss your chest? Just like this...
(He sucks on your breasts)
00.59 I shouldn't? 'Cause you're feeling too good?
01.05 Look, you've stopped moving your hips. Move for me.
01.28 What's wrong? You're gonna cum?
01.33 Ah, wait... If you do it like that, I'm gonna cum too...
01.44 This is bad...
(you both finish together)
(you pull away)
02.22 That felt so good...
02.31 I'm sorry... Doing this right away after we met... I'm terrible, aren't I?
(You say, "It's okay.")
02.42 Really? But in the end you didn't get to finish your studying...
(You tell him not to worry about it)
02.51 Thank you... But you don't have to be too considerate, okay? I really just wanted to see your face, that's all.
(You comfort him)
03.02 I'm happy to hear you say that... You said you wanted to take me somewhere?
(You tell him that you want him to meet your friends)
03.11 Eh? You want to introduce me to your friends?
(You ask him, "Are you not okay with that?")
03.20 Not at all. Actually, I'm so happy. I want to know more about you and your life here. But... Is it really okay to introduce me? To have a boyfriend who can barely speak English like me, aren't they gonna make fun of you?
(You assure him that it's okay)
03.39 Well then, I'll study hard to prepare for tomorrow.
(You offer to teach him)
03.47 Really? Ah, but... To have you as my english teacher... That's a bit disheartening, but it can't be helped, I guess.
(You ask him why)
03.59 Boys always want to look cool in front of their girlfriends, you know. Well, just wait and see, I'll definitely impress you soon. I'll grow even more matured and manlier than this, then one day I'll come and pick you up, just like a prince!
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