#who gets the gun? lawrence. who has the information? lawrence
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crazy how saw was like the rich man was always going to win because the game was rigged to favor him from the beginning and the poor working class guy never had a chance
#incredibly obvious when you read the script that it’s all about class#who gets the gun? lawrence. who has the information? lawrence#who has to priveldge to get away with his crimes/sins? lawrence#saw 2004#sawposting#saw franchise#saw movies#saw#adam has a che guevara poster in his apartment for fucks sake
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apprentice strahm who gets trapped and subsequently recruited in the early days of the jigsaw op, when it's still a little underground and not nationwide knowledge. as to why, take your pick—the coke, the barely-concealed violent tendencies, the unhealthy obsession with any given case, the disinterest in his marriage because of it. hoffman's already there when john brings him round, this visibly unhinged fed that will certainly raise to the occasion. and this is right. he's the whole package. he's got amanda's fervent devotion to the cause, he's got hoffman's strength and taste for brutality (and very handily, the access to even more confidential information), he's got lawrence's attention to detail and meticulousness—bringing to the table also his own brand of acolyte insanity as well as the innate ability to tick off every task off his serial killer to-do while popping benzos like it's candy. the first hoffstrahm meeting goes as well as you'd anticipate, if by "well" i meant "catastrophically wrong." they're like two equally rabid stray cats forced into a small room with no preparation. this does not prevent the development of fucked up codependency btw. everything is a battle and a competition except actual physical fighting (in which they engage frequently), which is of course sex. something something you construct intricate details just to touch the skin of other men. or just this one particular slightly repulsive other man. they turn the kidnapping of test subjects into a fine art; it's a hunt, is what it is, and they're off the bat infuriatingly good at reading each other's body language and facial expressions and understanding nonverbal cues. in eight cases out of ten, they have to fight it out again after the fact. yeah i know they're just like that. the whole experience leaves them sooo riled up but it hasn't occurred to them yet to fuck it out. strahm constructs the water cube in his spare time, a little side project made up of odd bits of other devices. who is the trap for? him <3. but no not like that. he wouldn't use it. just... hypothetically. he's surrounded by these things day in and out, a man's mind will take him places he wouldn't normally go with a gun. it's a private thing, and it remains private until hoffman stumbles into the gideon plant at ass o'clock in the night, tipsy because old habits die hard. seats himself at strahm's bench, asks about the weird cube he's never seen before. strahm hesitates but explains, quietly softly. he has to try not to let his eyes wander to hoffman, even if they want to, because hoffman has folded his arms on the bench, head resting atop them because he can never keep it upright after he's had a few, and his hair is all mussed and his eyelids look heavy and he's watching strahm with these big ass eyes, hanging off of every word strahm deigns to tell him. they don't talk about it the next morning but everyone feels the resulting shift in the space-time continuum—even if they don't know where it came from. amanda hates them so bad btw
#one thing that mike and i can do so well is get on discord and talk about hoffstrahm for so many hours#saw#hoffstrahm#mark hoffman#peter strahm#n#thinkpieces
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Spooktober 2024: Day 15 Predator
Warning: Predator AU, Reader is a nurse practitioner (thus inaccurate medical information is here, I'm sorry), mentions of death and hunting
Ghost jolts awake, looking around in confusion as he rises. He had just finished a mission, had been reporting to Price that it was a success when suddenly… Suddenly…
“Shite,” he hisses, rolling over to rise to his feet. The area he’s in is lush, plants all over the place and the smell of water in the air. Complete opposite of the desolate desert that he was just in. The plants rustle and he turns, ready for a fight. Instead, you stumble out, wearing scrubs and looking just as lost as he feels. You trip to a stop, blinking up at him with wide eyes.
“…Hi,” you choke out, offering an awkward smile to him. He blinks at you, before whipping around at the sound of more plants rustling. From those plants, a small group people pour out, guns drawn and armor on.
“Who the hell are you?” one of the men demands. You yelp and stumble back as Ghost takes a protective step in front of you.
“Lieutenant Ghost of SAS,” he answers as you squeak out your name and that you’re a nursing student on your internship.
“Ghost? Holy shit!” a different man exclaims, pushing his way to the front of the group. It’s Sergeant Collins, an American that had been at one of the bases the 141 ended up at. The kid beams up at him while the other military of the group lower their weapons.
“What the fuck?!” a different man yells, “We’re just going to trust fucking Skeletor and his little pet?! They might be why we’re here!”
“Lieutenant Ghost is one of the best of the SAS,” a more decorated military man explains, “I trust him more than I trust you, Lawrence.” Ghost is almost honored by the trust, but he’s still on edge, especially with three non-military aiming their weapons at him and you. The one named Lawrence clicks his tongue and looks away while the other two lower their weapons.
“So,” you chirp while peeking around Ghost, “Who’re you?”
The group introduces themselves, and Ghost takes note quickly of one thing. The only person here that isn’t aggressive is you. Sergeant Collins, Petty Officer 2nd class Levesque, Staff Sergeant Shèng, and Nitō Rikui Hashimoto are all various countries’ military officers, while Lawrence and Ana are mercenaries, rounded off with Tyrone who’s a gangster. Luckily, all the military personnel have first aid kits, which you’re quick to make note of and tally up.
“We can care for the equivalent of three broken limbs and six extreme lacerations,” you declare, “Basically, if we don’t get seriously injured, we should be fine.”
“You sure ‘bout that?” Tyrone asks, crouching beside you as you divide and organize each kit. You nod once, zipping a kit closed and handing it back to Hashimoto.
“We might get lucky and find more supplies, but I’d rather be useless and just help cart around extra stuff,” you explain, “If I’m useless, then that means no one’s injured, thus meaning no first aid has been used.”
“Weird thought,” Levesque throws out with a smirk. You shrug as you hand back his kit.
“It just makes sense,” you offer, “I’d rather be here but useless, than needed and elsewhere.”
“Valid thought,” Hashimoto praises as you hand back Ghost’s kit.
“Still, we don’t know where we are, or why,” Ana points out with crossed arms, “Feel like that’s the most important thing to figure out.” There’s nods and hums of agreement as you finish up and return the kits to the others. You stand up and Ghost immediately moves to your side.
“Stay near me,” he softly commands, “Gonna keep you safe.” You blink before smiling and nodding once.
“Okay,” you agree, shuffling closer to him as well.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” you repeat, tears pouring out of your eyes as you wrap Ghost’s leg. He grunts, keeping his gun up even after killing the alien fuck that had killed off the others. You all managed to learn that you aren’t on Earth, because some aliens think humans are game to be hunted for sport. One by one, the group was killed off, either by the aliens or each other when Collins when insane from the pressure.
“Keep calm, Love,” Ghost gently orders you, gritting his teeth when he sees two more of them appear. You look up and do what he never wanted you to do, shuffling between him and the aliens. They pause, probably eyeing his gun and looking down at you. Bastards are probably trying to figure out how quickly they can kill you and him.
One lifts their arm up and taps at some buttons before pointing at you.
“You heal?” it asks, the voice robotic. You blink, thrown off at the words that the alien is saying.
“Y-yes, I’m a nurse,” you confess. The aliens turn to each other, and start growling. Ghost watches them communicate with each other from over your shoulder, his gun steady despite his wounds that you’ve dressed. One of the aliens takes a step closer to you, and Ghost yanks you back, trying to put himself between you and the aliens. They pause again, tilting their heads. Again, one taps at their wrist.
“Protector, healer, we help leave,” it explains. You and Ghost share a look.
“You won’t attack us again?” you ask. The aliens nod again.
“Healer need protector,” the alien explains, “protector need healer. Keep together, allow home.” Ghost grunts as he makes sense of what the hell they’re going on about. Apparently, the aliens hold you in high regard as a nurse, a healer. And since Ghost’s been defending you, without you picking up a weapon, he’s been designated as your guard. Someone defensive, only fighting when you are threatened. Ultimately, not worth hunting if the theory they came up with after Shèng’s death and you had been ignored is true.
“Thank you,” you tell them, turning to Ghost with a wobbly smile.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soap bursts into the hospital room LT is supposedly in. The past month has been a panicked mess, as Ghost simply disappeared from the desert he’d been in to finish up a mission. No visual, no call, nothing. Price’s heavy footsteps are right behind him, with Gaz bringing up the rear quickly. Eventually, they find Ghost’s room and Soap bursts in. LT is laid in bed, his balaclava still on but pulled up enough for an oxygen mask to be placed over his mouth and nose. His arm is in a cast while bandages wrap around his head and his other hand. It’s obvious wherever he was, he fought his way out. Possibly with the pretty thing that’s sleeping in the chair beside his bed, their head on his thigh. Bandages are wrapped around your head as well, but nowhere near as heavily.
“Johnny,” Ghost breathes, his eyes fluttering open. Soap offers a relieved grin, while Price and Gaz come in behind him.
“Y’ gave us a scare, Ghost,” Price scolds, patting his cast carefully.
“Di’n’t mean t’,” he slurs out, “Go’ picked up by ‘liens.” The three other members of 141 share a confused look. That’s not the kind of joke Ghost would make.
“Can you explain?” Gaz asks softly.
“We went t’ an alien planet,” you speak up, raising your head from Ghost’s thigh, to the surprise of Soap and the others, “And they hunted a group of us for sport.”
“No’ you,” Ghost argues, lolling his head to the side.
“No, not me,” you agree, “I was too busy trying to make sure everyone was healthy. Ghost protected me, so he was considered my guard.”
“Killed th’ fucker,” he brags a little. You beam at him, ignoring the confused looks between the rest of the taskforce.
(Later, they would learn about the Predators, how the race would hunt humans for sport, how Ghost was extremely lucky with you. By then, Price will be annoyed by the bureaucratic bullshit, Gaz would be contemplating his knowledge of the universe, and Soap would be bothering LT about you and the whole story behind his abduction. Ghost would only care about you being his sweetheart, practically ecstatic when you joined 141 as an external medic.)
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Bendy!Mafia AU
I know it's two things people enjoy putting together in this fandom, I just wanted to whip up my take on it.
CW/TW: Smoking/ Violent depictions (in text)/Mentions of guns/weapons (in text.)
Honestly, I don't know why I wrote so much information below as I may not do anything with this, but maybe some day I will. So for now, this is all I will give you pertaining to this particular au.
-The Ink Demon is the boss of his "family" which mainly consist of Sammy and other lost ones that normally worship him in the games. He often just refers to Sammy as "Lawrence".
-He runs one of the popular lounges in the city: The Devil's Lounge.
-He pretty much owns the whole city.
-The Ink Demon still uses his claws and teeth because in order to use weapons, like guns, they would have to be modified for his large hands.
-He still is a menace and eats people from time to time, otherwise it's ink hearts or bacon soup/whatever is on the menu.
-Ruler of the criminal underworld boiiiiii
-Boris and Bendy are unemployed after the repair company they worked for filed for bankruptcy, until they notice a help wanted sign for The Devil's Lounge.
- Boris is very hesitant at first, but agrees to apply along with Bendy so he wouldn't have to deal with the Ink Demon alone.
-They get hired for custodian/maintenance work.
-Bendy eventually meets Alice who is an entertainer for the lounge.
-Alice is sisters with Allison and Susie.
-Susie is a crime lord of her own "family" and is the Ink Demon's rival as she constantly fights over turf with him.
-Alice lives in an apartment with Allison; neither know where Susie is, but are well aware of her reputation.
-Allison doesn't like the idea of Susie working for the Ink Demon and constantly worries over her. While Alice understands why she worries, she assures Allison that she is happy to perform and is treated well.
-The Ink Demon often watches performances from his personal booth in the back of the lounge that has curtains in case he wants a bit of privacy.
-No, the Ink Demon doesn't have a thing for Alice, though he does find her voice soothing after a stress filled day.
-Bendy is smitten though.
-When Alice isn't performing, Sammy and his band performs.
-Sammy still refers to the Ink Demon as his lord.
#Bendy#Boris#Ink Demon#batim/batdr mafia au#Sammy Lawrence (Mentioned)#batim Susie (Mentioned)#Alice Angel (Mentioned)#batim Allison (Mentioned)#CW: Smoking
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Revitalizing Brock
Brock Alexander is my gun coach who I am so fascinated by because he is the only one nice to me at that horrid place.
The gym has an awful odor of sweat mix with bad breath swooshing in the air mixing with each other.
It makes me sick to smell this especially with the stares I get as I pass people by they are snickering.
Brock gets excitingly pumped to see me with a clap of his hand two times and then he pumps his feet again.
He leads me to the workout bench swatting my ass leaving me in confusion but I ignore it at first.
I lay on the bench hiding a little flashlight in my palm letting it swing back and forth in the air.
He tries to do his best to ignore it at first in an attempt he turns his face from side to side to avoid it.
I can see his eyes begin to roll in loss of his own awareness quickly he becomes lost to my play.
He no longer can speak lifting up from being over me he stands tall hovering over my body his eyes follow.
“Yes Perfect! Mmmwwwaaahhhhaaa” I say laughing a bit in an evil cackle.
“That’s us keep following the light of truth to your doom.” I begin to lead him in.
“Open your mind to the void of unconscious interruption pulling you in.” I add.
“See the middle point as your focal point and fall in.” I say.
“Good boi! Let it all go, body getting loose and mind emptying.” I reply.
“Falling into a deep sea nothingness is fully surrounding you.” I guide him to his fall.
“Embrace the power of destruction” I state
“The intensity is only getting stronger and stronger.” I say rising to my feet.
“Mwahahahahaha. Hear my voice, obey my commands and no who I am.” I instruct him.
I am all smiles watching him swaying in the midst of the air flowing through time one at a time.
His place is glacial following me with his eyes as I pack up my bag with every item I brought with me.
I pat his left shoulder, kissing his cheek and suggest he pack his bags and inform his boss he is leaving.
I snap my finger with a loud thunderous clap to it his eyes roll back coming back to reality
He stares out finding his eye-line meeting is meeting my mind with a smile he giggles a bit.
Brock visibly shook has no word left in his state of mind he verbally lacking intelligence
He leans in placing his palms on my back of head, I can feel the burgeoning of it all the heat is hot.
Almost palpable really he leans in full length his height far exceeds mine as we miss nice and long.
He longs for me creating a deeply dark lit embedded unquenchable fire built on desire for me.
“What are you doing to me Lawrence? My good it feels good.”
“Silence! Zip it”
“You will do as I commanded you”
“Sir yes Sir”
“Sir On my way, will be right back Sir”
“It’s finished”
“Let’s go then”
“My place awaits “
“Good boi”
“We are home My Master”
“I am your reparations Sire”
“I love you Sir”
“Good boi”
The end
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belated writing emoji asks, if you still feel like answering
🤡🦅👀
(these look weirdly big for some reason, apologies!)
ooh, this looks like an interesting horror story. a GIANT clown is about to be attacked by a HUGE bird but unbeknownst to either of them... disembodied eyes (BIG ones)... are watching... 👀 (but bigger)
🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh? & 🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?
hee, you and @luredin had similar brainwaves it seems, because she also started with both of these in the same order! i answered them here, but i can come up with another example for the clown: in Johnny Lawrence vs. The Computer: A Tale of BOOP (a cobra kai fic) i was definitely cackling while writing some of johnny’s internal monologue around tech. he’s canonically awful with it to the point of parody (he's never owned a computer before! he's not a nerd!), which is obviously a great starting point, and this fic is essentially about johnny (briefly) drunkenly trying to catfish daniel and then getting mad about it, while he also just doesn’t understand how anything works:
The thing that makes the internet so great and also so much worse than the real world is that everything is really impersonal. You don’t hear people talk, you don’t see their faces, and you sure as hell can’t kick their ass through a wifi. So who’s gonna know if Johnny decides to play a prank on LaRusso and pretend he’s someone else? Who’s gonna figure out he’s not Jennifer Smith, a hot single mom with really great honkers who’s looking for a strong man to sell her a car?
Johnny types the email, sends it, laughs to himself about it for a bit (LaRusso is going to look so dumb if he thinks Johnny is actually a hot single mom with great honkers) and then wakes up hungover the next day and forgets all about it.
Until his computer goes BOOP.
There’s a fresh email in his internet.
there’s also a bit where he feels pretty smart for knowing that his email adress has a typo in it, because even he knows it’s email, not gmail - and a reference at the end to johnny having ongoing email exchanges with “half a dozen African princes with really naïve ideas of money management” (because there’s a scene in canon where he gives his information to all kinds of spam/conspiracy websites, iirc), which is of course a very obvious joke, but i just like the idea of that a lot. everyone’s wasting their time in those interactions, and they probably all deserve it.
👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!
well. for the starsky watches westerns fic i’ve recently been googling pretty cowboy hats, and it led to what’s probably going to be the first kiss scene! i keep changing the color of hutch’s hat though, so that’s yet to be decided.
also, yesterday i finally watched 1971’s zachariah, which was exciting because a) i learned i should have done that much earlier (not the painful warhol-esque experience i was dreading at all!!! honestly an almost perfect movie! and oh my god, that poster) and b) it (arguably together with blazing saddles, and maybe one or two others i still need to actually watch) throws a delicious spanner in the works for the central thesis of the fic so far, which was something like “if you’re a queercoded cowboy (in the movies), you’re probably going to end up dead (so what does that mean if i see us in them)” - and i’m sticking with that, but it’s great to be able to paint in more than one shade. (not only does zachariah not die, he gets a happy end! with his cowbff boyfriend buddy partner! after they start the movie by shOOTING A HOMOPHOBE. like i said, an almost perfect movie, and very exciting stuff to me.)
i also wrote some louise content (the guinea pig, i’m stubbornly keeping her as a part of this) that i could probably have used for the clown answer. while they’re watching red river:
“That’s a nice-looking gun you were about to use back there,” says Cherry Valance, and Starsky, his eyes newly opened, is left almost breathless from the impact.
“Don’t look,” he says, and cups a hand over Louise’s little face, because what’s happening on screen - those guys fondling each other’s guns, making them go off - it’s downright indecent.
send me emojis (if you want)!🌈
#thank you for playing!! 🎉#ask#*#by the time i'm posting this the emojis seem to have shrunk for me so i have no idea how these will post#but for anyone reading this later. they definitely were very big. can confirm#cowboy fic tag
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Grant Offers Lark Art
Grant finds three books. There is only one with any of Lawrence Baker’s works in it, but Grant gets the idea of what other art Lark likes from the 200 + pages of pictures the man sent him in the middle of the night on a bender, wikiwalking through the whale’s art expertise.
Lark had had better nights.
And two weeks after that night Grant has something to offer. It’s not Lark and Sparrow’s birthday, or a holiday, but Grant knows Lark, and knows he appreciates gifts more on days that don’t matter. He appreciates someone, anyone, thinking about him on a day that doesn’t matter. He appreciates anyone thinking about him at all.
Grant finds Lark’s car parked at the shooting range at the edge of the city. If he didn’t see the location tracker on his phone showing Lark heading out, Grant would have gone right in. The man at the check in knows them all on sight. Knows what guns they prefer, and chats them up about the latest in lock boxes and sniper scopes. It’s disgusting, and rewarding, and Grant tries not to think too hard about all the information he’s amassed about guns since his childhood.
Grant watches Lark walk out of the range in a semi-daze.
“Lark-” Grant calls out before Lark can get spooked on his own.
“Grant?” Lark shocks himself out of a deep space-out, squints for a second then pulls out his phone. Grant knows the habit. He and Lark were paranoid enough several years ago to stab trackers into their arms, and now they use it to double check that the other one is who they say they are. They have yet to find out if Scam Actually knows about the trackers or if he can mimic the signal. They’re hoping they never have to find out.
Lark’s fears seem somewhat allayed when he sees Grant’s small tracker beeping in the same spot that Grant stands, leaning up against his minivan’s hood.
“Still me, unfortunately, ” Grant says, self-deprecating in a way he can only be with Lark.
Lark hmphs with understanding.
“How was the range?” Grant asks.
“Got most of my shots. Wrist’s back to normal.” Lark holds up his right arm and twists his wrist in a loose circle. His wrist got pretty well smashed three months ago when an incursion was trying to stomp a crossbow out of his hand. The stomping stopped Lark, but it couldn’t stop Grant from piercing a bullet right through one of the things ten eyes. Down went the monster, and curled over screaming went Lark. Three months later and apparently Lark is finally back to 100%.
“Crossbow and automatic?” Grant asks. “All good,” Lark says. “You going in?” He nods toward the range. He and Lark sometimes go shooting together, but they’re way more likely to wander there solo. For Grant there’s something raw and stripped away about who he is on the shooting range. It feels too much like being naked when a grin smears across his face as a rifle recoils. He doesn’t like people seeing it.
Lark, well he would take someone with him, but they’ve all gotten too spooked at one point or another at Lark’s manic look when he makes a perfect shot, or gets six rounds in rapid succession. The man’s bloodlust can be hard to stomach.
Out of everyone, they’re still the most likely to go to the range together.
“No,” Grant says. He pushes away from the front of the car and opens his passenger door.
“Brought you a gift.” He grabs the three coffee table art books and walks back around the front of the car to Lark.
Lark frowns and takes the small stack from Grant when it’s offered. He opens the cover of the first and looks a few pages in. Grant gets the feeling he’s looking for a hidden compartment or trick.
“This isn’t a gun safe,” Lark says, confused.
“They’re books, Lark.”
Lark goes ahead and checks the other books for hidden compartments then frowns harder. Grant doesn't know how to respond. Doesn’t have to when, after another moment of looking, Larks stops flipping around on a Jackson Pollock piece, turns a page and stares at a Joseph O’ Sickey painting. His confusion melts slowly. His finger lets one page drop. Then another. Each small move reveals piece after piece of artwork. He can’t pull his eyes away. It’s like watching Lincoln turn his attention onto a tablet, slowly disappearing into another world. Grant doesn’t know if he should pull him back. Lark looks at one picture, slowly lets the page drop, stares at the next, then again. He’s peaceful. Still in a very unLark way. And then Lark realizes it and shuts the book. “You know I hate reading.” He holds the books back out to Grant, shoving them like they might hurt him. “Not for reading,” Grant says, pressing them back. Lark never really caught onto reading. He’s dyslexic as hell and there are days Grant has to text Sparrow to get translations of his brother’s texts. “It’s just paintings, you can just look.”
Lark scratches his scraggly beard, and looks uncomfortable with the situation. Grant momentarily worries that he’s done something wrong. Then he realizes that Lark had said This isn’t a gun safe. Grant thinks back to every gift he’s seen someone give the man, tactical vests, silencers, hunting knives, a rare black-powder scented candle from Sparrow in a well meaning but fruitless attempt to soften Lark’s rough edges.
“It’s art,” Grant repeats. “There’s a bunch of the paintings you sent me in them. Here-” Grant takes the middle book from the stack and flips through until he finds the Lawrence Baker drawing. It’s a tall landscape sketch of a tree and log and undergrowth, but none of it is quite finished or maybe it just morphs into something else before it ever really forms. Your eyes can’t land on or finish anything.
Lark reaches out a hand, runs his finger down the page, reverential.
“It’s the first thing that looked right,” Lark says quietly. He glances up at Grant, back down again, clearly unsure if he should be saying this out loud.
“What do you mean?” Grant offers. He’s never seen Lark’s exterior crack like this. He wants to make sure he’s gentle now that it is. Lark deserves that.
“It’s what I looked like inside, when it all happened.” Grant looks down at the drawing. It looks just like any other drawing to him. Detailed, subtle but not simple. It means something to Lark though. No one’s ever given him anything but guns, and no one’s ever given him anything that describes what it felt like to fall apart all those years ago. Grant gently puts the book back in Lark’s hands. He doesn’t close it, just hands it over and waits.
“Sorry I barrage texted you,” Lark says. He still doesn’t take his eyes off the art.
“Don’t worry about it,” Grant says.”Text more often.” He tries to think of the right thing to say. Grant is messy, but he tries to be honest. Lark bottles it up, breaks down in fits and bursts and giant explosions. This is nothing like that. This is like finally seeing the world of Lark, but only through a stained glass window. Not stark or clear, but at least there’s some light getting through.
“You should enjoy those,” Grant says, hoping Lark will take the books without another fuss, get into his car and take them home. Maybe he’ll look through them without also chugging his way through a bottle of Everclear.
Lark runs his finger around the edge of the open book. Grant doesn’t know where to go or what to do. He and Lark get into fist fights, and scream at each other about their feelings, they don’t usually look at art.
After going back and forth, Grant slaps Lark’s arm.
“I’ll catch you later,” he says, flinches internally. With anyone else he could at least fake his way through an emotional conversation. For some reason he can’t seem to pull it off with Lark. He pulls his car keys out of his pocket and turns to leave.
“Grant-”
Grant stops in his tracks. Braces himself and turns.
Lark’s practically clutching the books to himself. “Thank you.” The sheer genuine appreciation in his friends eyes is a punch to the gut.
“Anytime,” Grant says. He rubs his neck, then adds, “Text me anytime. I mean it.”
I love the idea of Lark being moved by art since his mom was a painter (painted that giant mural on the side of their house growing up).
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🚨𝐁𝐢𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐚𝐲 𝐕𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚🚨 𝐊𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐢𝐤𝐡𝐬!?? 🤔 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧?
🇮🇳 India's Ex-High Commissioner to Canada, Sanjay Kumar Verma, has dropped some shocking revelations! 📢
📰 In recent interviews, the diplomat unveiled surprising facts that, if true, could be deeply disturbing. 🚨
🧐𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲? - Khalistanis managed to get refuge in Canada due to the country’s lenient legal system! - Of the almost 800,000 Sikhs in Canada, only 10,000 or so are Khalistanis who made the Khalistan issue a business! - These extremists use Khalistan as a cover to do human trafficking, gun-running, prostitution, etc.😧 - They also misuse funds from gurudwaras for ‘nefarious jobs’!! (Verma really said it in interviews).😨 - Indian students are also influenced by Khalistanis using food and money! - He also added that the Indian government told Canada about Lawrence Bishnoi and Goldy Brar links, but Canada did not act against it!!😱 - Most shockingly, Khalistanis intimidated neutral Sikhs with threats against the latter’s daughters!😡 - Finally, he reiterated India’s position according to which Canada had not shared a single shred of evidence till date!! 😲𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐲: - Justin Trudeau is in trouble! - Canadians, particularly politicians, are unhappy with how he handled the situation, especially after his admission at the public inquiry. - Some reports suggest that 20+ Liberals have asked Trudeau to resign by 28th October!! ❓𝗜𝘀 ��𝘂𝘀𝘁���𝗻 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘂’𝘀 𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗻𝗱? Follow Jobaaj Stories (the media arm of Jobaaj.com Group for more)
For more updates and insightful stories, follow Jobaaj Stories, the media arm of the Jobaaj Group. We are dedicated to educating, inspiring, and informing through stories that matter. 🌟
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❛ you’re gonna get yourself killed if you keep this up. you know that, right? ❜ -Derek to Lawrence
😂 AS IF! 😂
Not Accepting.
There's that soft sound of suckling as he tears a cherry from its stem, staring hard at Derek who has suddenly become panicked. He has a very nervous disposition, Lawrence thinks, chewing thoughtfully at the Maraschino before flicking the stem at the other man.
"I would never allow that— Derek, honestly, you've been here long enough I think," He starts with a condescending tilt of the head. "I can't be killed. It's just not feasible."
Oh, he could surely die but he wasn't worried about one of the many people he's blackmailed coming around with a gun and their sights set on him. "No, no, everyone I work with knows what happens when I die." It all comes to light. Like a bomb about to be set off and there's only one kill switch: Lawrence Valdis.
"If they want their dirty laundry and their mistresses and all those skeletons in the closet to be public information...they have to make sure I'm here to prevent that from happening." Of course, it's a killswitch, something he set up early on in his career— and if he wasn't there every day to access the files and the cameras, everyone's shit is sent to every major news station. Every paper. Every two-bit blogger that has ever publicly expressed their opinion on the internet.
"No one's gonna kill me. Because if I ever go down, this entire city goes down with me. I honestly hope I just go randomly in my sleep one night, content with the knowledge that the next morning the entire place is gonna be on fire."
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Secret Death Touches Reviews (Scam or Legit)
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Hypothetically | Chapter 21-24
Summary: Reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast. friends to lovers, case of the week style story.
Warnings 18+: Murderers, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Blood, Guns, mentions of autopsy, Fluff, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, bed-sharing, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Virgin Reader, Case of the Week, original crimes, Food mention, Smut, Oral Sex, Light BDSM, Pregnancy, Pregnancy Talk, obgyn appointments and info, Home Invasion, Past Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Emotional Manipulation, Grooming, Pedophilia mention, non-con oral (male receiving), Pregnant Sex, Daddy Kink, Breeding Kink, Homophobia, conversion therapy
A/N; thee case in c21 is personal to me, like fictional revenge.
word count so far: 70K (chapter 1-25)
chapter 21
Having Spencer all to herself for 3 weeks straight was an experience she’ll never forget. They had the whole month of January off together, painting and re-decorating their home till it was exactly how they wanted it. It felt like home, it was theirs for real now.
Painting the bedroom green was the best idea she’s ever had. When the sun finally woke them up every morning, it wasn’t as blinding. It was paradise. The golden beams of light cast a beautiful glow around the room, it was like she was in a magic forest at the start of every day.
Spencer was laying on his back, his hair scattered on the pillow. He looked so peaceful, sleeping with his mouth wide open. Y/N was leaning on her elbow, looking down at the beautiful man she had the pleasure of spending the rest of her life with.
She brushed the hair off his face, watching his nose scrunch up as he felt her fingertips on his cheek. The sun on his face made him glow, he looked like a gift from god laying before her.
“Good morning baby,” she whispered softly. Dragging her finger along his jaw and down his neck, “we get to go to work today.”
Spencer stretched as he woke up, slipping an arm under her and pulling her into his chest. She held on tight, kissing his neck as she settled in. “Morning,” he replied. Raspy as ever.
“Wanna go get breakfast?” She asked softly.
He laughed against her skin, “gotta feed the baby.”
“And the wiiiife,” she teased.
“Not for another 11 weeks and 2 days,” he corrected her. “But yes, we should go get breakfast,” he whispered after a moment.
“Come on get up,” she replied with a big smile. He patted her ass as she peeled out of his grasp. Sitting up and stretching, taking a look down at the basketball protruding from her stomach. “Damn.”
“What?” Spencer asked.
She stood up beside the bed and pulled her shirt up, showing Spencer how big her stomach was. Turning sideways so he really got a good look at it. Spencer leaned over and kissed her right on her belly button that was beginning to pop.
“I know your ears are on in there, I love you, Matthew,” Spencer whispered against her skin.
She couldn’t stop smiling, taking a moment to rub her hands over the bump in amazement. “Hi Mr. Matty MaGoo, mommy also loves you.”
“Mr. Matty MaGoo?” Spencer laughed, looking at her with the biggest smile.
“Yes,” She laughed. “It just came to me, and it's going to stick.”
“Derek’s been calling him Mini G,” Spencer added.
“We should tell him it's Matthew, then he can be little Matty G,” Y/N swooned. “Seriously let’s go I miss everyone.”
“Okay, okay go get ready then,” he insisted, getting out of bed and dragging her to the bathroom.
—
Spencer drove, giving her a chance to look over her work emails before the day started. She was still CC’d on a bunch of VICAP things, being able to snoop on what was coming in and inspecting it.
Sometimes Mindy would CC her in just for an opinion.
Subject: Found Something. From; Mindy Patel To; SSA Y/N Y/L/N, Unit Chief SSA Aaron Hotchner, SSA-CL Jennifer Jareau
There’s been a child abduction in Arizona, I’ve pieced together some thing’s I’ve been working on in the background that might help the case if you are called in to assist. Even if you are not I believe you should take a look at this.
Mindy Patel, VICAP.
Attachment
Year: 1998 Victim 1: Emily Lawrence - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 1998. Williams, AZ Found: June 10th, 2001. Camp Verde, AZ ME: decay has he placed at 48 hours postmortem when she was found - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.
Year: 2001 Victim 2: Olivia Tomms - 13. Kept till 16 Taken: August 3rd, 2001. Payson, AZ Found: June 23rd, 2004. Florence, AZ ME: decay has her at about 2 weeks postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.
Year: 2004 Victim 3: Shelby Summers - 13. Kept till 16. Taken: August 3rd, 2004. Peach Springs, AZ Found: July 16th, 2007. Keams, AZ ME: decay has her at over a month postmortem. - strangled, sexually assaulted long term, extensive throat damage. Never been pregnant. - COD: asphyxiation Info: good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped without care.
Year: 2007 Victim 4: Beth Green - 11. Kept till 13 Taken: August 3rd, 2007. Saint John, AZ Found: January 13th, 2010. @ flagstaff hospital. ME: COD complications from a miscarriage. Massive blood loss. - well taken care of. Throat damage. Signs of being detained long term. Info:good student, innocent shy girl. Followed the rules. Taken when walking home from school. Held for 3 years, assaulted and chained. Dumped with remorse like he didn’t want her to die, and he felt sorry because he loved her.
Newest abduction: Name: Sally Irvine - 12 Taken: February 3rd, 3pm. Middle School pick-up (missing 13 hours now) Witness Report: Italian/greek man. Early 30’s. Claimed to be her parents assistant. Sally was used to going home with random people from her parents' work. Handsome man, very charming and convincing. He wore a suit and drove a Silver Honda Civic. Rust at the back, partial plate HC8.
“Fuck,” Y/N cried silently as she scrolled through all the information, even in a compact form.
“What’s wrong?” Spencer asked, looking over at her with concern.
“Um,” she didn’t really know why she was reacting like this at first. Then it hit her. “Mindy sent me a case and it’s hitting a little too close to home.”
“Would you like to explain it yet? It’s okay if you want to process it alone,” Spencer comforted her easily like it was his second nature.
She let out a deep breath. “There’s a serial killer in Arizona that is kidnapping girls between 11 and 13, only keeping them 3 years. Every ME report says they have extensive internal throat damage, and 3 of the 4 found were never pregnant. This unsub is forcing them into oral for 3 years straight.”
“Fuck,” Spencer agreed. “I think we should take this one, if you can’t I would fully understand.”
“I think the unsub is my rapist.”
Spencer pulled over onto the side of the road. Putting the car in park and flashing the 4-ways. He turned to her softly and looked at her with a blank face.
“Walk me through it.”
“What?”
“If I’m going to go in there with you and tell Hotch that this is the same guy who hurt you, then you’re going to need to explain it to him and the team,” Spencer explained softly. “You’ve never even told me the full story, I don’t know anything about that summer other than the fact something happened. The first time you repeat this in front of me is going to be hard, and I don’t want you to have to do that in front of all of them.”
She couldn’t help herself from letting out a small sob, “okay.”
She took a few minutes to collect her thoughts, and calm down enough to get full words out of her mouth.
“When I was 12,” she started. “My mom went back to work, and she didn’t trust me to watch my brothers because they were rowdy and never listened to me. Like you said, they were more like my older brothers.
“My dad’s best friend, Jimmy, his wife had MS so she was home all the time. They had 3 older children and a few foster boys, she was used to lots of kids being there. And she had a pool to keep us occupied,” she bit her lip before she explained anymore.
“My mom’s birthday is June 8th. That’s when victim 1 was murdered,” was the first fact she explained that related to the case. She handed Spencer her phone so he could read and follow along.
“My dad is a Mason with the Masonic Lodge in Los Vegas, and he was becoming the master of his division on my mom's birthday that year, so we rented a hall and had a big party. Jimmy’s foster son was there, you remember Christopher Torsey? He was a freshman and I was in grade 6, about to enter grade 7, that was when the grooming started. He took me into the back room and asked if anyone had ever kissed me, I said no. He leaned in and kissed me in the dark and I was a giggly mess.
“My parents and his were really friends and he would come over all the time, our dads would drink in the backyard with our mothers till 1 in the morning most weekends. So I spent long periods of time with this boy for a few years, trusting him like a friend before he started anything. That summer he would always find a way to wander off with me, at first it was just kissing in different places where we could be alone together. Then he would touch my boobs, and he had me take my shirt off a few times.”
Spencer looked calm, but the redness in his face and the pulse in his neck told a different story. Her breathing got heavier as she had to recall it all, and she didn’t want him to be so upset.
“We worked at a local church camp together that July, we’d do crafts and sing songs and after all the kids left and we had to clean up, he’d find a way to take me to the room where they held the nativity scene out of season. He’d start kissing and touching me like normal, and then Kendra walked in once and saw and suddenly he went from obsessed with me, to disgusted, saying I came on to him and that it was all me. He was disgusted by me when we were in public, but he loved me apparently behind closed doors.”
“On August 3rd,” a tear slipped down her cheek. “The day the girls go missing. That was the first time he took me back to the shed and said ‘when two people are in love, they do things, and I love you. So you have to,’ He took his, you know, and I’d never seen one before. It was scary and I didn’t want to, I wanted to leave, but he pushed me against the wall and down to my knees.” She had to stop to take a breath, Spencer was crying silently as he watched her explain it all.
“He kept me trapped there while he did it,” she explained. “The worst part is that his parents were hosting a wedding that night, so no one could hear me basically screaming no over the music. He knew that. And so, when I complained about the sore throat the next day, my parents thought it was from all the singing.”
Spencer let out a shaky breath, he looked at her with so much love and sadness, she knew he loved her. She reached across the centre console and wiped the tears off his face, pecking his lips softly before sitting back to continue.
“The dates match up, he was Italian, they’re all 11-13 with throat damage,” she ran it down. “It’s him.”
Spencer licked his lips, wiping the tears off his face before taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go tell Hotch.”
Aaron stood up from his desk after Y/N explained the situation, walking up close to her with a sad smile on his face, “this was a very hard thing to come forward with. How would you like to participate in the investigation?” He was soft with her for the first time, it was surreal.
“Um, I’d like to come with you to Arizona,” she said softly. “when Garcia finds him, I’d like to be the one to interview him.”
“Do you think that is a wise idea?” He asked softly.
“When I was 16, years after everything happened. I went to Jimmy’s house for an event, and Christopher was there, and I went to his room. I was so desperate for the bullying to stop. For the lies, he had told about me to go away, that I went in there and apologized to him,” her voice almost disappeared as she got to the end of the sentence. Crying in disbelief. “2 years later he started abducting. I apologized to my rapist and he started kidnapping girls. I need to look him in the eyes and find out why he did it.”
“Okay, let’s tell the team.”
Y/N and Garcia spent an hour building the case files and compiling all the data they had on Christopher Torsey. Joining the team in the briefing room, where Spencer had already relayed the events to the team. Y/N didn’t need to describe it all 3 times in 2 hours.
She passed all the folders out, trying to avoid the looks the team gave her. They were sorry, they respected her, they wanted revenge for her. She knew it all came from a place of love, however, she hated being perceived by others.
It was a trauma thing. For so long people had the wrong idea about her, she was bullied and put down, and hated for no reason. She hates any form of attention, the glances and staring, the whispers of rumours being told as fact. It was stressful.
“Before we start,” she started softly. “Thank you in advance for your concerns, but I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. I’m very happy, this is gonna fuckin’ suck, but at the end of the day I’m coming home to a man who loves me, a baby on the way, and the best friends I can ask for. He’s going to prison. I win.”
Derek smiled at her, “that’s my girl. What did you find?”
“Christopher Torsey was born in November of 1979. His father was extremely abusive, he was in the ER a lot by the time he was 11. His mother killed herself in front of him when he was 12, he also watched his father rape his mother according to his child therapist,” Garcia started. Not knowing how to say the next part without Y/N crying.
“He uh, he said that his dad would tell his mom to be quiet. That-uh, I’m sorry, shouldn’t you say this?”
Y/N stepped in without a second thought. “He said that his father would hold the fact that he loved her over her head to force her into having sex with him. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“He’s our guy for sure. Do we have an address?” Prentiss asked.
“Yeah, he lives in a double-wide trailer in Cottonwood. Near the back with his own access to the main road,” Y/N explained. “I knew he moved to Arizona when Jimmy finally kicked him out. I haven’t heard from him in years.”
“Y/N is coming with us, wheels up in 20.”
—
Cottonwood PD waited for them to arrive before apprehending him. They were concerned that he would run, with his access to the woods and a four-wheeler in his possession, it was a matter of boxing him in quietly with a backup plan in place and men on the ground.
“Can I suggest something?” Y/N cut into the Police Chief and Hotch’s conversation.
“Sure.”
“Um, what if I walk up in our civilian clothes, and just pretend that we’re there to rub it in his face that I'm happy and in love,” Y/N suggested. “I can wear a wire, you can be in a surveillance van listening in. You’ll be right there if we see Sally or sense something’s up.”
“Are you sure you can do that?” Hotch asked her.
“I am,” she turned to Spencer, “if you can control your temper you can come. If not, I’ll show up with Derek and still rub it in his face that someone loves me now.”
Spencer sighed deeply as he contemplated it. “I’ll kill him,” he admitted. “Take Derek.”
“Let’s get suited up,” Derek patted Spencer’s shoulder. “I won’t let him hurt her again. Don’t worry.”
“I know.” Spencer looked disappointed.
Everyone left the room, leaving Spencer and Y/N alone. She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug resting her face against his chest. He softly held her in return, rubbing his hands along her back with his cheek on her head.
“I love you, forever and always,” She reminded him. “And I know how much you love me, believe me. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t truly believe Chris was wrong.”
She pulled back when she felt a tear on her head. She wiped it softly with her thumb as he leaned his cheek into her palm. “I am loveable, and you love me. I win.”
He laughed softly, “I won too.”
She pulled him into a soft kiss, “I’ll be back in your arms soon.”
“I’ll be in the van watching the whole time, I love you so much,” he added for good measure.
She smiled as she walked away, throwing a fist in the air like the end of the breakfast club. Knowing full well he’d never get the reference. JJ on the other hand, laughed as she followed with Spencer.
They changed into regular clothes, getting in a car from the impound lot and following the surveillance van. Morgan was quiet, Y/N knew he wanted to talk to her, to go over the plan, but he didn’t know how to. The wire wouldn’t be on till they walked out, giving Y/N and Derek their privacy if he ever chose to speak.
“Did you ever confront your guy?” Y/N asked.
He nodded, “Carl Buford. I got to show him who I am now, that I put men like him behind bars. That I’ll always win.”
“Is it a good feeling?”
Derek set his hand palm up on the centre console, looking at her softly as if to ask her to take it. She interlocked their fingers, he rubbed his thumb against her skin.
“You’re right, it fucking sucks. The original pain never goes away, but there is a content feeling knowing he won’t get to hurt another person, that he might get his ass kicked in prison,” he smiled that beautiful Derek smile. “I’ll always be here for when you need someone who gets it.”
“Thank you,” she smiled.
They pulled into the trailer park slowly, separating from the team as they approached Christopher’s trailer. “Just pretend you’re Spencer, treat me the way he would. I know Spencer tells you everything, go off of memory of what he’s said about me.”
“You know he tells me everything?” Derek asked softly, laughing a little to himself.
“Because he also tells me everything,” she smirked. “When he’s tired and he rambles, he tells me about his whole day and that includes when he asks you for advice.”
“You two are gross,” he smiled. “I hope I can replicate it.”
“Come on,” she laughed, getting out of the car and waiting for Derek at the hood.
She took his hand before walking up to the door, a hand on her belly to make it look bigger. Really wanting to show off that she was in a better place than he was.
She knocked, 3 times, stepping back so he could open the door. She didn’t feel scared, she felt anxious in excitement to watch Derek take him to the floor.
“Y/N?” She heard his voice for the first time in 13 years. “What are you doing here?”
“My therapist suggested that I come here and show you someone actually did end up loving me, regardless of what you said,” she explained.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he panicked, flashing his eyes back and forth between her and Derek.
“I can come in and explain it for you if you’d like?” Y/N smiled. “You’ve got nothing to hide I assume? I’m just wildly obsessed with you and a liar right? That’s what you told everyone so I wouldn’t be able to say you forced my head on your dick with the promise that you loved me.”
“I- I uh,” he stuttered. Starting to shake lightly.
“That’s what you do to all the girls, isn’t it, Chris?” Derek cut in, pulling the screen door open and watching as Christopher ran to the back of the house. “We got a runner!!” He announced to the wire.
Y/N didn’t run after him, she knew the team had him. She walked through the house to watch from the back door. Only to find Spencer stiff-arming him.
Christopher flipped over Spencer’s arm, hitting the ground before Spencer was on top of him. Spencer punched him in the face, once, twice, three times before he stopped. Sitting over the unconscious man as he caught his breath. Everyone just watched him. He rolled Christopher over, cuffed him and walked away into the woods.
Y/N carefully jogged into the yard, passing the bleeding and groaning asshole she used to know as she ran after Spencer. He was walking too fast, and he didn’t look like he was going to stop.
“Spencer Walter Reid!” She yelled at him as if she was his mother. “Stop.”
He stopped abruptly, huffing as he did so. He only turned around to face her when she finally caught up to him. “Don’t touch me yet,” he instructed her.
“Okay,” she stopped a foot in front of him. “Look at me, breathe. In and out.” She used her hands as she motioned a breath in, and a release out. She repeated it 4 times, watching him do the same.
“Can I hug you now?” She asked softly.
He nodded, stepping into her space and wrapping himself around her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“It was actually really appreciated,” she laughed. “I was debating if having a baby at 22 weeks was worth punching him in the face a few times.”
Spencer laughed softly into her shoulder. Squeezing her in his grasp as he breathed her in. “I love you.”
“I love you, more,” she smiled against his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his ever-beating pulse. “Let’s go see the team, come on.”
Y/N was adamant about searching the trailer with the team. Going to the surveillance van for a vest and gloves while Christopher was taken to the police station, and Spencer had his hand wrapped up.
It still smelled like him in there. The smell of his detergent mixed with smoke from the fireplace. It never changed. She noticed his PlayStation was on, he was still interested in games. He still slept with the brown comforter that was on his bed when she was 12. It was worn down, holes gathered at the bottom as it was almost see-through now.
She opened the closet to see a very large metal safe in its place. She took a deep breath, looking at the keypad to see what numbers had been worn down the most, guessing his password.
0803
It popped open, it made her feel sick to her stomach. As she opened it, she heard the muffled screams behind duck tape. Sally Irvine was tied up, hunched over in a tiny metal box while he played GTA.
She wanted to kill him.
“Hey, hey it’s okay,” she shushed the girl. “Sally, my name is Y/N. We’re here to take you home, you're safe now.”
Y/N took the tape off Sally’s mouth softly, the girl sobbed immediately. Not able to say a single thing as Y/N untied her and held Sally in her arms. Sally hugged her back as tight as she could, sobbing into her shirt as Y/N rocked her back and forth. Crying along with her.
“He did it to me when I was 12 too,” Y/N whispered.
Sally pulled back and looked at her with puffy eyes, “really?” She asked. Her voice low and scratchy.
“JJ can you get some water?” She called behind her. “Yes. I was his first.”
“Y/N,” the girl repeated. “That’s what he called me?”
She couldn’t stop the sick feeling in her gut, “let’s get you out of here.” She changed the topic, helping the little girl to her feet and to an ambulance.
Y/N smiled at her as she dropped her off with the EMTs, walking off into the woods as quickly as she could. She leaned over, holding her own hair back as she threw up on the ground.
She swatted away at the hand rubbing her back suddenly, continuing to hurl in the bushes as she heard them behind her, shushing her. She wiped her hand on her mouth before she calmed herself down.
She sighed and turned around to see Morgan. His arms were open for her to hug him, she buried her face in his chest as she cried. Not able to fully process all the information she just heard.
“Let’s get you home,” Derek whispered. Escorting her back to the car, she was done for the day.
chapter 22
Valentine’s day had come and gone by the time they finished their most recent case. Landing in Quantico very late on the 16th of February. Everyone departed the plane slowly, half asleep after the 3-hour flight.
“Did you guys miss any plans?” Y/N asked JJ and Emily as they walked together.
“Yeah,” Emily sighed, “I uh, I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Since when?” JJ asked, both her and Y/N suddenly not tired at all. They stopped on the tarmac and stared at her.
“Um, a few months now,” She blushed.
“Was this the sin to win weekend?” Y/N asked softly.
Emily nodded, “what’s sin to win?” JJ asked just as quietly.
“It’s a weekend for gay people in Atlantic City,” Emily replied. “It’s an easy way to mingle in a safe space.”
“Oh,” JJ was shocked. “Oh, so you’re, and you too?” She pointed at both of them as the information was processed.
Y/N and Emily smiled at her and laughed. “Bi? Yes,” Y/N replied.
“I’m still not sure,” Emily added. She sighed deeply, shaking her head as she tried to speak again. “I’ve never really enjoyed male company? It feels more like a performance than a relationship.”
“I mean good for you for noticing that now, if it wasn’t for Spencer I’d be in the same boat,” Y/N smirked at her. “He’s more than just a pretty face.”
“Wow,” JJ was shocked. “I would’ve never known.”
Emily placed her hand on JJ’s back, leading her towards the charter back to headquarters, “oh you poor, poor, heterosexual woman.”
“She has a cat, she cuts her bangs when she’s stressed and she bites her fingernails,” Y/N explained to JJ as they picked their seats. “She likes pussy, JJ.”
Emily smacked her arm lightly, all of them laughing hysterically. The boys walked onto the bus to their cackling, desperately wanting to know what was so funny.
“I was just telling them, I met someone and I’d like for you to all meet her soon,” Emily explained to the rest of the team. “I think you’ll really like her.”
“No way,” Derek smiled, high-fiving her. “Congrats dude, welcome to the dark side.”
“You too?” JJ was shocked. “Okay, put your hand up if you’re a straight person,” she stretched her arm into the air. Hotch and Rossi joined her.
“Really?” Spencer and Y/N looked at each other with excitement.
“What the fuck?” JJ was dumbfounded. “How did I not know this?”
“It just never came up before,” Derek shrugged. “Tell us more about this girlfriend of yours, Prentiss.”
“Or,” Y/N cut in. “you could bring her to Vegas in April.”
“Why?” Emily smirked at her.
“If you’re all free on April 23rd,” She teased them along. “Spencer and I would like you to come to our wedding at my parent’s house.”
“Oh!” JJ and Emily freaked, “holy shit!”
“So, you guys are in?” She laughed.
“Yeah!”
For 2 in the morning, the bus was the most excited they had ever been. And Penelope didn’t even join them on this trip. Normally it was her making this kind of excitement, Y/N basked in the happiness that filled the bus.
They discussed little details on the way to their cars, standing in the garage for a good 15 minutes as they planned the dates they’d need to arrange to have off. Hotch knew he could pull some strings to use everyone’s vacation time for a few days.
They exchanged hugs before breaking apart for the night. Planning to return around noon that same day. Giving them a sweet 9 hours of peace and quiet.
“We still need to invite Penelope,” Spencer whispered when they were halfway home. Interrupting the silence that Y/N was enjoying.
Y/N laughed softly, watching him drive with a smile on his face. “I only told the rest of them because Penelope somehow hacked into my calendar app, to plan a baby shower around my schedule, and saw the plans.”
“Of course,” he nodded along.
“So yeah,” she smiled. “She’s told me that she wants to throw me a baby shower/bachelorette party now.”
“That would be nice,” Spencer agreed, squeezing her thigh where his hand was always glued to her.
“If we even get more time off before the wedding, I’m crossing every appendage on my body in the hopes all the psychos take the day off!” She laughed, twisting her arms and legs in a demonstration.
He laughed, leaning against the wheel as he tried to keep his focus on the road. “I love you.”
“You better!” She teased him.
It went quiet again. She could hear the tires on the sandy slush. The grinding of pressure as the snow compressed into the tire tread. Small rocks being flicked up from the wheels, smacking the underbelly of the car as they approached their house.
She sighed as she saw the place, the beautiful green door illuminated by the porch light. Screaming ‘welcome home!’ As they pulled into the parking spot.
Sleep surprisingly came easier to her the more pregnant she got. She was used to laying on her left side now, she actually preferred it, because it means that every morning when she woke up, the sun came in just perfectly to make Spencer glow.
The alarm on Spencer’s table started to beep letting them know it was 10:30. She softly watched him roll over and smacked the machine before turning back to her and closing his eyes once more.
“No.”
She huffed in a silent laugh, getting closer to kiss the tip of his nose. “Time to wake up,” she whispered between kisses spread across his face.
He was trying his best not to smile as she peppered his skin with kisses. Pushing him onto his back so she had more skin to cover. It had been a while since they did anything together.
Between the cases and the baby, and everything Spencer learned about her past trauma. He’s been a little distant, and it was starting to make her worry. Dr. Korrapati promised that this sudden burst of anxiety was normal at this stage of pregnancy. It was what contributed the most to the nesting phase, but it still scared her.
She wanted to kiss him, to run her hand down his chest and palm over his boxers until she couldn’t take it anymore. So she did, just a little more seductively.
She moaned softly as she kissed the patch of skin under his ear and down his neck softly. She dragged her fingers over his skin, looping around his nipple as she sucked on his neck. She lifted her leg lightly over his, trying to get some friction between her legs as she kissed him.
“We should probably just go to work,” Spencer softly interjected.
She sighed, dropping her forehead against his shoulder and letting her shoulders slouch.
“I’m not broken!” She sat straight up as she yelled at him. “Can I please just fuck my boyfriend? I have been horny for Weeks,” she wasn’t sure where the sudden burst of emotion came from.
“Oh,” he sat up too, resting his hand on her back softly. “I didn’t realize you wanted to after everything, and the baby? You’ve had a rough few months.”
She laughed lightly, “Spence, of course I do?”
She looked at him softly, cupping his jaw in her hand. “I’ve had to process my trauma before. Yes, it’s still bothering me, and yes I have new trauma that I need to address with my therapist. But,” she emphasized. “I am a woman with needs, and one of those needs is getting railed before work by Doctor Reid.”
“You’re one hundred percent sure?” Spencer asked again.
She smiled and nodded, pushing him back down against the pillows. She resumed her last position, putting her leg between his so they could grind lightly and make out. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll ask you to stop.”
“Okay,” Spencer looked up at her, brushing her hair behind her ear as she hovered over him. “I love you.”
“Prove it,” she teased him, leaning in and kissing his neck again.
He reached behind her to grab her ass, she had noticed his hands gravitating there more as she gained pregnancy weight. She wasn’t complaining either, the way his hands felt on her skin was glorious.
He was putty in her hands, tilting his head to the side so she could kiss, lick and suck wherever she so pleased. She reached her free hand into his hair while he other kept her steady, in the perfect spot to grind against his boney hip.
He was all gasps and heavy breaths underneath her, she raised her leg lightly dragging it over his hardening erection before putting herself back in place. Just wanting to see how far along he was.
She rolled onto her back then, laying flat, waiting for him. He pushed his underwear to his ankles as he flipped on top of her. She was nothing but giggles as Her Spencer came out to play.
Opening her legs, she greeted him back into her grasp as he hovered over her. Both hands planted against the pillow as he looked down at her. His hair falling into his eyes, she pushed his hair back behind his ears.
“You might need a haircut soon,” she teased him, biting her lip softly.
“Shhh,” he whispered.
She took his right hand from beside her head, gripping him by the wrist and guiding him towards her mouth. Taking his middle and ring finger in, sucking on the digits softly. Making him release a sound she’s never heard before.
She looped her tongue around his fingers, spreading them lightly as she licked a stripe through them. Feeling his skin against her teeth, which only seemed to excite him more.
She pulled off with a pop, he looked mesmerized by the trail of spit that connected her bottom lip to his wet fingers. “Fuck,” he gasped as his breathing hitched.
“You know where to put them,” she whispered up at him, staring into his eyes as she bit her lip.
He kissed her quickly, pulling her forward so he could get the t-shirt she was still wearing off her body, throwing it off the bed as he kissed her neck, sucking a mark into the skin as he pushed his hand into her panties.
“Jesus,” he whispered against her neck as he felt how wet she was. “You weren’t kidding.”
Making her twitch slightly as he used the two fingers that were just in her mouth, to drag up and down on her clit. Rubbing it back and forth between the two knuckles.
“Fuck,” she breathed out as she gripped his hair. Palming his scalp while he kept kissing her neck.
She could feel him grinding against the bed as he kissed her, moaning against the space under her ear as he quickened his finger movements.
“I need you to fuck me, like yesterday,” she panted against his mouth, licking his bottom lip after.
He pulled away from her then, lifting her hips to drag her panties down. Keeping them on one of her ankles as he gripped the base of his cock and sat on his knees.
The sight between her legs was phenomenal. The glow of the sun on the lake through the windows as Spencer stroked himself in front of her.
Suddenly, he took both of her knees in his hands. Pushing them to her chest slightly before flipping her over. Extending her hips as he held her ass up. Kissing each cheek softly before straightening his posture.
“Ready?” He asked, she wasn’t expecting it.
Her face pressed into the pillow as she tried to find the best position to support herself. Pushing her hips back in a silent yes. He understood her body language, lining himself up with her and slowly pushing in.
She pushed back against him as well, moaning as she took all of him. “Finally,” she sighed, wiggling against his hips.
He gripped her hips, pushing her off abruptly before slamming back in. She was shocked, letting out a gasped moan as he fucked into her. Taking the instructions too literally, railing her.
She had never been that loud before in her life. Concerned Rossi would be able to hear them from across the lake, but it didn’t stop her. Only enticing him to keep it up.
She pressed her face into the pillow more as she attempted to reach her clit. She couldn’t, “fuck, Spence?”
“Yeah?” He slowed.
She took his hand off her hip, “can’t reach.” Her breath was erratic as she tried to explain.
“Aw poor bunny,” he teased her, slowing to a grind as his fingers ghosted over her clit. “Can’t get yourself off anymore?”
“Please daddy?” She let it slip, feeling his cock twitch inside of her as she did.
He leaned forward, kissing her shoulder softly. “Tell daddy what you want, use your big girl words.”
She pushed back against him, raising herself from the pillow to look over her shoulder at him. “I was going to say breed me, daddy.” She teased, watching his entire personality change. “But it looks like you already did.”
He licked his lips, pushing his hair out of his face as he shook his head at her. “You’re going to regret that.”
She pressed her face back into the pillow and perched her ass back more, ever the invitation. He ran his hand softly over her asscheek, slapping it before he started to fuck her again, reaching around to rub her clit, like she asked, ever so nicely.
They found their rhythm then, pushing against each other in just the right way. Between her deep breathing and the moans she released, the only other thing she could only hear was the sound of their skin slapping together as Spencer fucked her harder than ever before.
“Fuck, sweet Jesus I love your cock,” she praised him, punching into the pillow as she pushed herself back into him, on all 4’s now.
Using his free hand, he spread his fingers through her hair. Gripping her at the roots and pulling her head back as he slammed into her.
“Yes, daddy,” Y/N panted as she felt herself get closer to the edge. “Right there.”
“Cum for me bunny,” he instructed her, “let me fill your perfect little cunt.”
She came with a shout, pushing back against him as his words pushed her over the edge. Not being able to ever say no to that man, feeling his hips shake as he tried to fuck her through his own orgasm.
He pulled out, flipping her limp body back over so she could lay on her back, releasing the pressure on her stomach. Legs still spread as he observed his handiwork, scooping it up with his fingers and pushing it back inside of her. Making her clench up at the feeling.
“Spence-“
“Too much?” He smirked down at her.
She nodded, catching her breath as he just sat there. Still, on his knees, cock now soft and resting against his leg. She preached herself up on her forearms, shaking her head at him as she bit her lip.
“Where the fuck did that come from?” She asked him.
“I have no idea,” he laughed. “But hypothetically,” he bit his lip and raised his eyebrow. “I wouldn’t mind revisiting that on a later date.”
She laughed, dropping back against the sheets. “Me either.”
—
She waddled from the car to the elevator. A mixture of pregnancy and over-extending her hips, exercising with Spencer. Lamaze class more specifically, if anyone asked.
“I should really start calling you ducky,” Spencer whispered in the elevator.
“I hate you,” she bit her lip to stop herself from laughing.
“Really?” He teased her, “because if I recall 27 minutes and 15 seconds ago when you were saying ‘fuck, sweet Jesus, I love your cock,’” he whispered into her ear.
The elevator doors opened as her jaw dropped, “notice how I specified which part, Doctor Reid?” She answered abruptly, walking out towards her coworkers.
“So that’s how it’s going to be?” He said as he followed her. Making everyone turn around to see them.
“What’s going on?” Morgan noticed it first.
“Nothing,” Y/N rolled her eyes. “Just correcting the genius.”
“On?” Prentiss pried.
“Well this morning she said and I quote-“
“I will cut your balls off and hang them from the mirror in my car,” she snapped, glaring at him as she pointed her finger in his direction.
“Mama’s got claws,” Morgan laughed at them. “Damn.”
Spencer wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek in front of everyone. She turned pink, pretending to be pissed while a smile crept onto her face.
“She loves me,” Spencer smiled, pressing their cheeks together.
“One part, it’s nice to me and doesn’t talk back,” she replied, making everyone laugh as Spencer shook his head.
“Okay, you win,” he put his hands up in surrender as he backed away. Opening the door to the bullpen and disappearing behind his desk.
chapter 23
St. Patrick’s Day was never a holiday that Y/N or Spencer really cared for. Yes, they wore green to work, but other than that they didn’t really see the hype. They were Halloween people.
Will and JJ, on the other hand, went all out.
It was something to do with Will’s love for beer and his frat-boy attitude. Explaining to them that morning in the bullpen that the best parties on his college campus were around St. Patrick’s day and Mardi Gras, making February and March party central in his life.
They walked in with little Henry, decked out in green from head to toe. Green beads around his neck, gold chocolate coins in a basket, and the cutest little shamrock light-up head bopper.
“Look at you!!” Y/N called out to Henry as she walked into the room. Opening her arms up and leaning down to pick him up as he ran into her arms.
“Any Y/N!” Henry called her, not being able to say his T’s yet.
She pressed his tiny cheek against her face as she picked him up and snuggled him against her chest. It was getting harder to pick him up now that she was pregnant but she wasn’t going to miss a Henry snuggle.
“Since when did the FBI consult with leprechauns?” She asked him, booping her nose against him.
“Nooo,” Henry leaned back in her arms, “I’m not a leopard-con,” he tried his best to say the word. Making the team all laugh.
“Well, either way, why’s my favourite little guy here today?”
“Hey?” Spencer complained.
She leaned her elbow into him, “hi unca Spence,” Henry smiled at him. Spencer ran his fingers through Henry’s hair, messing it up under the headband.
“He wanted his godparents to see his outfit before the party at daycare today!” JJ explained with excitement.
Y/N placed him back on his feet, “go on the, show it off!”
He walked around the room, doing a fake model strut as he shook his diapered butt, walking towards the stairs before running back. “Woooow!” Everyone clapped and cheered.
Y/N looked up from Henry’s gaze, seeing Emily in Hotch’s office with a blond woman she didn’t recognize, “what’s going on in there?” She pointed.
“They’ve been in there all morning,” Rossi explained. “I think that’s the girlfriend.”
“How so?” Spencer asked, moving across the room to get a better view through the blinds.
“The way Emily leans against her, hand on her arm like that as she speaks. That’s the same way you and lady boy-wonder act when you’re in there together,” Rossi raised an eyebrow at them.
“Ahh,” Y/N smirked. “I wonder what happened, no one talks to Hotch with the door closed unless they need us to look into something.”
“I’ve gotta go,” Will cut in, scooping Henry up from the carpet with a tight-lipped smile.
“Bye buddy,” Y/N scrunched her nose at him, getting in close to press their noses together. “Have a good day today.”
“Bye, love you,” JJ kissed both her boys and watched them leave the room.
“they’re the best,” Y/N said as she wrapped an arm around JJ.
“Anyone want to go sit and have coffee while we wait for them?” Derek asked prior to a long yawn.
Rossi patted Derek on the back, leading him up the stairs and towards the briefing room. The remaining team members following their lead, discovering fresh donuts and flowers waiting for them.
“A gift for helping in advance, -Noelle” Read the small card on the table.
“Emily’s girlfriend?” JJ pondered, holding the card up and waving it slightly.
“I like her already,” Derek said, kicking his feet back and taking a donut.
Hotch walked in with Emily and Mindy 45 minutes later. Following them was a beautiful blond woman, probably 6’1 even in her flat running shoes. She was wearing cuffed blue skinny jeans and a big Barbie Pink petticoat.
She smiled lightly as she walked in, glueing herself to Emily’s side. “This is Noelle, my partner, Noelle these are my co-workers.”
“Hi!” She waved, “let me guess. Chocolate thunder, Derek Morgan.” She pointed to the nearest person to her.
“Correct,” Derek nodded in her direction.
“You would have to be Penelope Garcia,” she guessed right once again. “Emily was right, your aura is very bright.”
“Oh,” Penelope blushed.
“Y/N and Spencer, she said you’d be basically sitting on top of each other,” making everyone on the team laugh. “JJ, she said you’re like wonder woman, you look more like you could be cast as Super Girl if you ask me.”
JJ blushed, “thank you, Henry would agree.”
“Rossi, I already knew you. I love your books,” she fangirled a little. Something Rossi was incredibly used to.
“Signing hours are from 6-8,” he teased her.
Noelle laughed, her smile wide and toothy. “It’s lovely to meet you all.”
“Noelle has come in today with concerns that local gay men in her circle of friends are going missing. Over the last few holidays, 3 of her friends have disappeared. Dropping all contact after a trip to the bar,” Hotch explained.
“I’m a firefighter,” Noelle explained. “I have a Facebook group of friends who are gay and in the forces in any capacity. Just to let each other know where they’re going, to be safe.”
“Smart system,” Rossi complimented. “But also incredibly easy for someone to pose as trustful to gain access and track them.”
“That’s what I was thinking,” Emily’s pressed lip smile portraying just how uncomfortable she was with the situation. “I’ve met our supposed victim number 3. Officer Perry is a great man and we haven’t heard from him since Friday.”
“Where was he going?” Y/N asked.
“He was at the bar with us on Friday for a little, we got a few beers and then he said he was meeting with a guy he met online, he was never big into online dating or even dating in general. He didn’t know how to be an officer and gay at the same time,” Noelle explained the situation fully. “He is one of my best friends, I excused it Saturday when he didn’t call cause I guessed he was having a good time. But when he missed Sunday dinner I knew something was wrong. I begged Emily to let me pitch this to you.”
“I believe you,” Hotch added. “Which is why I’ve asked Mindy Patel from VICAP to join us today.”
Mindy waved, she dressed more like a techie than an agent. Beanie, headphones on her neck and a big black sweater.
“Strauss and I agreed it would be beneficial to have a member of the team solely responsible for going through VICAP coincidences and letting us know. We stumble across too many rare cases thanks to Y/N and Mindy,” Hotch explained. “Mindy Patel is now officially VICAP Liaison. Her office will be across from Garcia’s from now on, she’s going to be our eyes and ears in the missing person world for the time being.”
“I took into account the fact that your friends were all masc for masc, on the police force in some capacity and male obviously,” Mindy explained. “And I found the two men from Valentines Day and New Years, and then more going back every major holiday for the last 2 years as of this St. Patrick’s day.”
“We’ve compiled the data and sent it to Garcia, it’ll be on your tablets shortly,” Hotch confirmed. “I’d like everyone to split up into teams and take an apartment of the most recent 3 victims. Prentiss and Rossi, you get New Years’.”
“Yes sir,” Emily agreed. “Noelle can stay here with Penelope for insight.”
“Yes. Reid, Y/N and Morgan, you’ll take officer Perry’s apartment. It’s the freshest so I need the best eyes.”
“Absolutely,” they replied in unison.
“Myself and JJ are going to the Valentines Day abduction,” check in with Garcia when you need to, fill me in on everything. Good luck.”
—
“Yeah a cop lives here,” Y/N laughed as she searched through the carefully organized home. Combing the place over for the slightest abnormality.
“He definitely wasn’t taken,” Morgan agreed. “He went willingly and never made it home.”
Dust was starting to settle on his possessions. Photos on the wall looked blurry as the sun shined through the windows. It smelled stale, no one had opened the windows in a while and the man who lived here worked out.
His clothing was organized by category. His laundry had 3 separate baskets for darks, lights and colours. Inside his bedside drawers, all his condoms were lined up by type. He was definitely anal about something.
“Guys?” Spencer called from the office.
Morgan and Y/N followed the sound of his voice, seeing him hunched over an iMac. “I moved the mouse and it’s open and unlocked.”
“But you don’t know what to do?” She teased him.
“Yeah,” he blushed. Watching Y/N sit in the desk chair and start looking through his things.
“His Facebook is pretty basic, he checked in at the bar with a photo here of him with Emily and Noelle, and then he went offline. He doesn’t have Twitter or Tumblr logged in, so I’m guessing he doesn’t have that,” Y/N explains as she stalked his activity. “In his history, your male basics. Case research, pornhub, Facebook, Hotmail… hold on.”
She read through all the subjects, all looking pretty normal. “What would a gay man hiding his sex life from his co-workers disguise his emails as?”
“Work-out appointments,” Morgan answered almost too quickly.
‘Workout’ she typed into the search bar. Seeing 15 messages from another man named [email protected]. “got him, call Garcia.”
“Hey baby girl,” Derek spoke softly as she answered. “We got Jensen Perry’s computer open, his email shows he’s been working out with a [email protected].”
“Already working my finger magic,” she teased him. Hanging up before he could say anything back.
“That woman will be the death of me,” he sighed.
“I don’t think we’ll find anything else here, our best bet is with Garcia,” Y/N admitted as she closed all the windows. “Wait,” she pulled up the search and typed in ‘find my iPhone,’ “if he has a Mac he has an iPhone, not many people blend their tech.”
Last ping: 2256 Sheerly Lane, Friday at 23:56.
“I’ll call Hotch while you drive,” Y/N said, pulling out her phone and following the men out the door.
Morgan followed the GPS 15 minutes down the street to an apartment complex. It was worn down and looked as if no one had taken care of it in the last 25 years. “I’m calling Garcia before you go in, I don’t feel good about this.”
“Hey doll,” Garcia’s cheery voice was a nice refresher.
“Hey, do you have any info on who owns and occupies 2256, Sheerly Lane?” Y/N asked softly. “Also send backup to this location, it’s where Perry’s iPhone is apparently and it looks sketchy as hell.”
She heard the clicking of the keys before she heard Garcia’s reply. “Yep, we have 1 occupant. Amy Romano, 46, left the building after her mother died. She’s been living there in room 333 for years, not renting any rooms out at all in the last 3 years.”
“A woman?” Morgan was shocked.
“Must be why we’ve never found the bodies, female serial killers are 90% less likely to ever be caught,” Reid added his fun fact, one she’s heard from him a handful of times before.
“Exactly,” Y/N agreed. “What do we know about her?”
“She’s an interesting one,” Garcia’s tone changed. “Her father was a minister, big bible freak. Her mother was the maid here at the hotel before being given the deed from the original owner’s family. She died in 1988.”
“How much of the religious upbringing rubbed off on her?”
“Enough to make her have multiple psychotic breaks, being diagnosed with schizophrenia when she was 15,” Garcia gained more insight. “Claimed to have been visited by God, and was told sinners are punished by word of god. That one day she would be the one to follow his word for the righteous man.”
“What if she’s doing her own form of conversion therapy?” Y/N gasped. “She’s not killing them. She’s following god’s word and freeing them from their sins. This is the perfect place to keep them. Locking them in rooms away from each other, secluding them and only subjecting them to a female for long periods of time.”
“Garcia, we need back up right now,” Morgan stressed.
“they’re 4 minutes out, good luck in there my babies.”
“See you soon, baby girl.”
Being left out of raids was weird to her, watching Spencer put on a bullet-proof vest and load his gun without her cover made her anxious. Luckily, she got to stand with JJ outside. Watching the building as they listened over their radiofrequency.
“Clear,” Morgan spoke over the system.
“Clear here as well,” Hotch said. “Meet me at the stairwell.”
“I hate this,” Y/N whispered.
JJ ran her hand along Y/N’s back softly, “me too.”
“Floor 3, room 33,” Hotch explained. “I’ll kick in the door, Morgan, you enter first. Spencer and Prentiss, follow our lead.”
Not having a visual was the worst part. There was no way to know where they were or who was there. They worked on sounds, if and when the team decided to speak.
“1, 2, 3,” Morgan whispered before they heard the door smash in. “FBI!”
Then it was silent again, too quiet for anyone’s liking, staring up at the third floor trying to hear everything in the neighbourhood.
“Amy Romano put the gun down!”
“No!” They heard before 4 shots were fired.
Y/N’s heart was in her throat; she couldn’t hear anything going on inside. The officers asked over the radio for updates, hearing nothing in return. Y/N couldn’t stop herself from running towards the apartment buildings before anyone could catch her. Up 3 flights of stairs, drawing her gun and walking towards the room.
Morgan was shot in the arm, down. Prentiss, hiding behind a table with Morgan and Spencer as she tried to stop the bleeding. Hotch in the unsub’s grasp, fighting for a gun.
Hotch noticed Y/N in the doorway. Kicking the unsub down. Y/N wrapped her arm around the unsub’s neck, putting her in a headlock as Hotch attempted to cuff her. She struggled like a wet fish against them, slipping out of her grasp and falling to the floor.
“If God wants to tell me to stop, he’ll tell me himself!” She screamed.
Y/N presses her gun to her head, “he just did.”
“Amy Romano you’re under arrest for the kidnapping of 24 men, attempted murder of a federal agent and resisting arrest,” Hotch explained as he cuffed her.
“Y/N!” Spencer stood up, looking at her like she was the crazy person. “We agreed, 3rd trimester, no fieldwork.”
“You didn’t reply on the radio and suddenly I was here,” Y/N explained, “I’m sorry.”
“We need EMTs, Morgan’s been shot in the arm. The bleeding is under control, just hurry.” Prentiss ordered over the radio.
“Y/L/N is going to need to get checked as well,” Spencer added.
“Why?”
“You ran up three flights of stairs, wrestled an unsub and got elbowed in the side,” Spencer explained, taking her hand and leading her out of the room.
“I’m sorry, I get it now I really do,” Y/N stopped him in the hallway, holding him in her arms. “I don’t like when I can’t see that you’re safe.”
Spencer kissed the top of her head, “I love you.”
“The baby’s kicking,” she replied softly, “that’s good right? 4 movements in 30 minutes after activity is a good thing.”
Spencer laughed, pulling back to feel her belly. “I’m sure he’s all hopped up on adrenaline now, come on let’s get him looked at quickly.”
—
They found 16 of the 24 men alive and in critical condition inside the apartment building. SCSI was canvassing the scene with local cops, taping up the building and surrounding property while the city discussed demolishing the building altogether.
Y/N was able to witness Noelle running into Jensen Perry’s arms, hugging him as they cried in his hospital bed. Y/N could imagine the trauma he was going through, the terror and the fear of something you really don’t want, happening anyway.
“Why do people do terrible things in the name of God?” Y/N whispered towards Spencer, looking up at him with soft eyes. Truly curious.
“The religious system runs similarly to cults, they believe the words are to be followed and thus they will gain entrance to heaven. If there’s one thing humans are afraid of more than dying, it’s internal damnation. Holding the fact that they will suffer in death over their head is a way to get them to do anything.” Spencer explained softly. “With the right person, the wrong message can actually sound like a pretty good thing.”
Y/N let out a deep sigh, “how do you raise a good child in a fucked up world?”
“Matthew, 18; 1 through 5, At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, “Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.” Spencer repeated the bible verse softly. “Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me.”
Y/N smiled, “I like that.”
“He was always supposed to be good, he has you as his mother.”
chapter 24
April rolled around out of nowhere. Suddenly the snow had all melted, the birds were returning, and the trees were starting to bud thanks to the week of thunderstorms.
Love was in the air, both in the wild and in Y/N’s life.
The wedding’s in 2 weeks and she’s growing daily. She wanted to wait till the last possible moment to get her dress. Wanting it to actually fit over her stomach on the big day without any struggle.
Being placed on office duty for the rest of her pregnancy made it easier, not being allowed to leave Mindy and Penelope's side, under direct order from Aaron Hotchner. She was starting to notice that the more pregnant she got, the more the men of the team wanted to protect her as well.
JJ said it was the same for her the first time, all the alpha personalities came out around the third trimester. It was like they didn’t quite register that a woman on the team was pregnant till it was abundantly clear.
The girls had all agreed to go to the dress store with Y/N when they had a free afternoon, but that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon. Y/N ended up going by herself between cases while Spencer was on a flight, trying on 6 different dresses before she found one that made her happy.
The sales associate was being extra nice to her, knowing she had both a big budget and no time. It was an easy sale, but this wasn’t an easy decision.
She tried a sleeveless, skin-tight number on first. Not being able to even move once she got in it, not even bothering to look in the mirror. It wasn’t right, that was for sure.
Eventually, by #5 they had an idea of what she wanted. Long sleeves to hide her stretch marks, it had to be flowy but still show off the bump. And she wanted lace, embroidery even. Something that made it different, something that was more like her. Always growing, changing, adapting.
She was wandering the racks when she saw it.
It was so long, the train had to be at least 6 feet. It was light, made with sheer fabric so it would twist and flow with whatever direction she ran or danced. She could imagine walking through the grass with the train flowing behind her with purpose.
The most wonderful aspect was the long sleeves and the neckline. Cupping her chest perfectly with a nice ribbon right above her bump. The entire dress reminded her of something, the floral embroidery sending her back to a dress she remembers from her childhood, not able to place it but knowing it in her heart.
She looked in the mirror at herself, she felt beautiful. She shook her head lightly as a tear fell down her cheek. “It’s perfect,” she whispered.
The sales associate shook a big bell then, causing everyone to look at her and cheer. “Are you saying yes?” She asked, as cheesy as it was, she loved it.
“Yes!” She cheered back, feeling the love from everyone in the store.
The dress was huge, she laid the bag against her passenger seat and stared at it for a while. It felt a little crazy that she was getting married in a few days, even crazier that she was having a baby in 2 months.
Her phone rang as she started to leave. “Hewwo?” She answered softly, knowing it was Spencer.
“I just got home, where are you?”
“Oh,” she smiled. “Penelope said you guys wouldn’t be back until 9, I went and picked out a dress.”
“Alone?” He sounded sad.
“It was better this way, I picked it for me and no one else,” she reassured him. “I’m on my way home now though baby, I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay, drive safe. I love you,” Spencer replied, his voice nothing more than a whisper.
“Love you too,” she hung up.
She sighed, turning on the stereo and driving home to her favourite albums. Driving alone was different for her now, she used to love just escaping into the Virginia wilderness, picking a road and an album and just going somewhere.
Driving with Spencer meant silence, hand-holding, humming and ha-ing as he discovered new facts that intrigued him. She loved it, the ambiance of Doctor Spencer Reid was not something you could replicate, it was special and calming and wonderful.
She couldn’t wait to get home to him.
He was waiting on the front porch as she rolled into the driveway. Joining her at the car, wanting to help her carry her things inside. “Hi,” she smiled at him as she stepped out.
He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek softly. “Want some help?”
“If you don’t mind carrying in my dress, I need to pee so bad!” She said, almost about to run inside when he stopped her.
“Like how bad?” He asked.
“Excuse me?”
“If you were to get surprised would you pee your pants?” He tried not to laugh as he asked.
“Spence?”
“Just go in,” he said softly.
She sighed, knowing what this meant. Walking up the stairs slowly, turning the doorknob just as slow. Not ready to have her eardrums blown out.
“Surprise!!”
Sure enough, there were balloons and flowers and her friends gathered all inside her front hall. “Oh my god?”
Penelope wrapped her in a hug first, “your first baby shower has to be special!”
“You guys really didn’t have to do this?” She was so shocked to be getting attention that she felt a little embarrassed.
“We wanted to,” JJ hugged her next, their bumps too big to hug normally, opting for more of a side snuggle. “I got you something to change into before we get started.”
Y/N took the small blue bag from her, kicking her shoes off before they went upstairs. Spencer joining with her wedding dress, hanging it in the closet and slipping back downstairs, unnoticed.
Y/N opened the gift bag on her bed, JJ looked around the room for the first time ever. Looking at the photos of their first day of kindergarten on the wall, the artwork they chose. How Spencer wrote notes to her on the mirror with whiteboard markers.
“You guys are really cute,” she smiled.
“Thanks,” she smiled.
Finally taking the dress out of the bag, it was just something simple. Blue with pink flowers. Something she’d definitely pick out on her own. “This is so beautiful!”
“I got it when I was pregnant with Henry and never had a chance to wear it,” She smiled, “thought that you’d like it more.”
Y/N hugged her, “seriously this is the best thing you guys could’ve done for me!”
“I’m also going to need a pink dress,” JJ said softly in her grasp.
“No?” Y/N was shocked. “Really a mini JJ?”
“Yeah,” she smiled softly. “Hurry up we have more surprises for you downstairs!”
—
It took her longer than she hoped to get changed. The baby was just big enough to make her winded all the time now. Having to stop and take a breather just from taking her pants off. Not to mention the struggle of standing up after peeing.
When she finally made it back down the stairs on her swollen feet, she heard a familiar giggle that she loved very much. “You didn’t?”
JJ smiled, “it was Rossi and Will, they flew them all in and got them here.”
Her parents, brothers and wives were all in the kitchen waiting for her. Then she saw Diana, who was pressed up close to Spencer having a conversation in their own little world.
She walked in and cried, hugging her parents for the first time in 5 months. Showing off her big baby bump and chunky face for the first time too.
“You look amazing!” Her mom complimented her, taking her hand and making her spin slowly.
“Thank you, I feel huge,” she smiled. “I can’t believe you guys are here, I’m literally coming home in 2 weeks!”
“When David Rossi calls you and says he has a jet picking us up, you don’t just say no,” her father laughed, wrapping his arm around Rossi. They were going to be something else together.
She gave Diana a big hug when she could, watching her rub her belly and talk to the baby through her stomach for a good 10 minutes. It was so cute, everyone in the room watched and swooned. Secretly always hoping Spencer’s family got a moment like this.
After dealing with the Riley Jenkins case, and Gideon leaving, they worried for him. They never expected him to just show up one day with a girl and start the rest of his life the way he did. But it just made sense. He sped through school and early adulthood well before Y/N, now they’re moving fast, just together.
They had pizza for dinner, spreading 6 different kinds across the counter and telling everyone to dig in. Y/N took a slice and walked around, mingling with everyone to ensure she thanked them for coming.
“Henry!” She finally found him with Chloe and Lizzie. He ran into her arms, giving her a big hug. “Did you meet my niece?”
“You’re my any?” He questioned her right back.
“Come here Clo,” she called her over, huddling them both in close to her. “You both get to call me aunty Y/N, isn’t that so cool? You’re new friends and you share an aunty!”
Chloe gave her a big hug, she was getting bigger and bigger every day, about to turn 4 in a few months. It felt a little crazy, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“How are you?” She asked her softly.
“I’m good,” she whispered at her, smiling before hiding her face in her dress.
“Are you having fun here? Did you meet buddy yet?”
“No!” Chloe’s face lit up.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” She gasped at them both, getting back up to her feet and walking with them to where Buddy hid in the laundry room.
He was curled into a ball in a basket of towels, peaceful in the quietest room in the house.
Chloe and Henry took turns petting Buddy, kissing his head and playing with his tail, it was good for him to get a little used to grabby kid's hands. She was a little worried about how he’d handle a baby, but he was a chill cat he never really cared about attention as long as he was fed.
Eventually, JJ and Lizzie found them, peeling them away from the cat with the promise of cake while Y/N opened her gifts from everyone.
Everyone was watching her as she sat down in the living room, feeling a little anxious like she had to perform for them or something. Spencer finally joined her on the couch then, wrapping his arm around her in a soothing motion.
“So,” Garcia started. “I took it upon myself to organize the party but I didn’t just stop there, I also emailed everyone a link to a chart where they could pick the category of gift they got you so that we avoided repeats and got everything you would need.”
“This is all so much,” she turned bright pink. “You guys really didn’t have to I feel like I haven’t bought anything for myself since I met Spencer.”
“Nonsense!” Penelope hushed her. “Here, pick whatever one grabs your fancy.”
Y/N’s eyes raked over the pile of gifts, “um that big one over there, why not.”
It was a big blue bag, stuffed to the brim with tissue paper. The card on the handle was signed, she opened it to find 'from; Erin Strauss' on it. “Oh?”
“She couldn’t come but she passed that along on behalf of the section,” Hotch explained.
Y/N didn’t waste any time opening it. Finding brand named everything that she would need for breastfeeding, losing her mind at the never-ending bag.
Almost every gift was the same, all themed and absolutely filled. She was never going to have to buy anything for Matthew, she got it all today.
Hotch and Haley got her a babies bath essentials set. Her parents equipped her with every form of linen she would ever need for a baby, as well as a quilt made just for Matthew.
Penelope bought easily $400 in clothes for him over the past 7 months, with the promise of not stopping any time soon. Derek and Emily got together to buy them an all-terrain stroller, for the walks they expect them to take down the back roads. Emily’s girlfriend even brought a mom after-care set for her.
Diana’s gift made her cry the most, opening the box to find old copies of childhood books. “Those were all Spencers when he was a child,” she explained softly. “His love for the world started with those stories, I would like for Matthew to know them too.”
“Absolutely,” Y/N wiped the tears off her face, leaning over to hug her. “If Matty ends up being even half as wonderful as Spencer I’ll be grateful.”
“Spencer, did you get her anything?” Diana asked him softly as she was still mid embrace with Y/N.
“It’s in the garage,” Spencer smiled.
She looked at him with excitement, “you didn’t!”
“I might have,” he smiled.
“What?” Rossi asked, hating suspense more than anyone on the team.
“I was joking about wanting to get an SUV and become a soccer mom,” Y/N’s whole face lit up. “Did you get me a soccer mom mobile?”
He smiled back at her, “here.”
She held the key in her hand, her car was old as hell. She has had it since she moved to Virginia and even then it was a 2004 model. She had never had a new car, with the fresh car smell and clean everything!
“I am so overwhelmed,” she announced, bouncing a little in her seat as she shook her hands. Stimming just a small amount in front of everyone in all the excitement.
“We’re all done celebrating you now, I think we can start getting out of your hair, right guys?” JJ stood and pressured everyone that wasn’t relying on their house for the night, out the door.
Penelope helped Debbie and Diana clean everything up around the house. Peeling Henry and Chloe away from each other was the most difficult part of the night, becoming fast friends and wanting to look at books all night together in uncle Spencers library.
Rossi offered to let her brother Levi and his wife stay at his place while Diana and Y/N’s parents took the guest room in her home. Harrison and Faith driving back to Fort Meade to their own house.
—
Y/N and Spencer sat up in their bed, leaning against the headboard as they listened to the quiet of their house. Their co-workers were gone, their parents were settled in the guest rooms and most likely still awake from the time difference. The day had been so crazy that she barely had time to wrap her head around it.
“So…” Y/N cut the awkward silence. “Wanna make out?”
He laughed at her, shaking his head. “Remember the last time you asked me to do that?”
“Yeah, I lost my virginity,” she whispered back at him. A little scared that everyone could hear them talking.
“We can't,” Spencer looked at her with wide eyes. “It's bad enough my mother knows I’ve had sex once let alone possibly hearing us.”
He nudged him a little, crawling into his lap and sitting there softly. Her belly pressed against him, filling the space between them as she held his face in her hands.
“They’re on the other side of the house,” she pouted. “Just make out with me?”
He kissed her quickly once, “why are you so needy tonight?”
“All day I’ve had everyone's attention but yours,” she explained softly. “I missed you and I want my Spencer time.”
He couldn’t say no to that, because he felt the exact same way. He ran his hands up her thighs, over her hips and finally resting them on her back. She ran her thumbs over Spencer's cheeks, looking at him softly as she tilted her head to really admire him.
His lips were perfect, his nose was adorable. The way his stubble grew in and darkened his jaw was amazing. His bone structure, his eye colour, the way his hair just fell flawlessly into place with 0 effort. She sighed as she looked at him.
“I love you,” she whispered, biting back a smile as she waited for his response.
“I love you,” he giggled as he looked right back at her. It almost felt more intimate than sex, just staring into each other's eyes in a dimly lit bedroom, in the middle of the night.
She ran her hands up into his hair, combing her fingers through it. He tilted his head back every time, closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling. She was about to smile when she got a sharp shooting pain in her hips.
“Oh, my, god,” she breathed out. “Ouch?” She scrunched her face with the pain as the sharpness dulled into the bone, just feeling uncomfortable as she tensed up in his lap. She didn’t even realize she was tugging on his hair in response to the pain.
“What?” Spencer asked, concerned as all hell.
“I think that was Braxton hicks? It was like everything down there just lit up in pain,” she explained with a horrified look on her face.
He ran his hands softly over her hips, soothing the skin in an attempt to help. “Are they bad?”
“It just feels like a pinched nerve at first and then a dull ache, it’s not the worst. I don’t enjoy it that's for sure,” she laughed a little louder. “God, I hope he’s kind to me on the way out.”
“I was doing research into the best drugs and techniques for birth for mothers that don’t want any drugs either because they’re sober or they don’t want to be removed from the moment,” Spencer explained softly. “There are a lot of options if you want to look into them with me this week?”
“Of course you did,” she smiled at him once again, feeling a bit better. “We also have to pack the baby’s go-bag.”
Spencer laughed at the way she phrased it. “Isn’t it just a hospital bag and a diaper bag?”
“No, it’s a mission to have a baby. It’s a go-bag.”
They kept giggling with each other over the dumbest things, staring at smiling as they laughed. Spencer’s hands roamed her back while she poked his face. Happily just talking in each other's space about the most random shit.
It was what she loved the most about him, that they could equally ramble about what they found interesting and the other felt just as excited about learning something new. They had mutual respect for each other's interests and feelings that ran deeper than most, truly loving every word that left their partner's mouth.
By the time they settled against the pillows and attempted to sleep it was half 1 in the morning. They turned all the lights out and still just stared at each other.
She booped his nose softly with her own, watching him scrunch his face as a result before giggling again.
“Do you have any idea what the case tomorrow will be?” She was only asking because she wanted more time with him, needing to find every topic to bring up so that the night never ended.
“Mindy’s pitching something to us tomorrow again,” he whispered. “You’ll be good at this one.”
“Oh I’m excited now okay, goodnight,” she closed her eyes and pretended to snore, making him snuggle in and wrap her arms around him, pulling her in close the way they liked it.
“I love you, bunny,” he said one last time for the night.
She sighed as she settled into him, “I love you more Spence.”
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Welcome to my whump blog!
Most of what I do here is reblogging and idle musings, but I do sometimes write and draw my own whump, all of it OC-focused. Here’s a small guide to my stuff if you’re interested:
I mainly write magical realism/urban fantasy, with some horror vibes coming from my love of all things eldritch. I like environmental whump, knives and guns, defiant whumpees, reluctant caretakers, and weird fucked up monsters that give me an excuse to come with unique ways to hurt my characters.
Here are the stories I posted things for so far:
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Ghost Ambulance
My main OCs! Three ghost hunters of varying degrees of skill and enthusiasm who try to survive the paranormal chaos that London has in store for anyone unwise enough to look closer. The main whumpee is Cutter, an incurably optimistic investigator slash conman; but a fair share of misfortunes also befalls the professional huntress Elaine, whose troubled past makes her the perfect target of emotional whump. Joy, the normie dragged into all this by unlucky circumstance, is too smart to get hurt. Most of the time.
They have a separate masterpost here.
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Kintsugi
A project in the making, I’d like it to be long, consistent and chronological, but I also know how I work so my planning is cautious. Best read in the order below.
The story of Ethan, a meteorologist who discovers a base of a secret organization hidden on a remote island off the coast of Alaska. Mistaken for a spy, he’s captured and tortured for information that he doesn’t have - but internal tensions rise between his interrogators as guard Lucy, an ex-gangster, is wrestling with the conscience she doesn’t want to have. Above all that looms the incomprehensible threat of the strange anomaly that the organization is trying to study.
Canon:
1. Approach | 2. Kidnapped | 3. Failed Rescue Attempt | Fracture + Defiance | “Please” | Screams from across the hall | Reluctant caretaker | Art - Fetal position | Hypothermia | Art - Beaten | Can’t pass out | Repeatedly passing out | “I’ll be right behind you” | Back from the dead | Art - Impaled | Unstable
Post-canon and random things:
Character sheet - Ethan
Art - Rest | Art - Hand impaling | Art - Bloody clothes | Ache��| Deprived | Stabbed through the hand | Art - Search and rescue | Bridal carry | Art - Split lip | Art - Hair practice sketches | Art - Stabbed | Art - Bleeding | Art - Slit throat
(banner photo credit)
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Project 3 (old)
Doesn’t even have a name. But it sure does have lore! Set in Victorian times, it follows the mystery of a mansion that seems to defy death. Felix Lawrence is drawn to it by a series of increasingly mystical riddles and his curiosity leads him into the hands of the mansion’s nameless owner who intends to bring forth something eldritch. Felix becomes a subject for the man’s cruel experiments, not even allowed the reprieve of death as the mansion keeps him alive through all kinds of torture.
Art - Hooks | Art - Portrait sketch | Impaled | Slit throat | Threats | Torture | “Who did this to you?”
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Project 4 (old)
No name on this one either and it’s all fairly old stuff. I came up with the OCs before I started this blog and unfortunately got bored of them just as I started realizing that there is, in fact, an audience out there for short stories that are literally just characters getting hurt lol.
It’s a fairly standard supernatural police procedural, kicking off when Arcane Practitioner (not wizard) Johnathan Claine (or Clay, didn’t even settle on a name lol) joins a paranormal taskforce whose Practitioner rank is rumoured to be cursed. That rumour soon proves true as Claine begins to brush with death on the daily and he and his team have to rush to break the curse before it throws at him something that he can't survive.
Impaled arm | Fallen/Impaled | Bleeding out | Art 1 | Art 2 | Fallen through ice | Broken bone
---
And that's that! I'll be updating this directory as I go, including possibly some old stuff that got lost back when I didn't have a tagging system.
Thanks for reading!
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12x01 Rewrite with Trans Dean
trigger warnings for minor mention of dysphoria. Also minor/negligent transphobia.
“Mom?” His heart is stopped in his chest, staring at the face he’s kept in his head for all of his life, the face he’s thought of as the only real home he’s ever had. She looks the same, exactly the same. “I… uh, are you really… real?”
He reaches out without thinking, needing to just make sure that Amara didn’t bring back a fantasy or a ghost or a sick joke. She proves it without him touching her, flipping him in a neat trick he recognizes from his own training and ending up with her foot on his neck, pressing him into the dirt. “Where am I? Who the hell are you?”
She looks so scared. Dean swallows, his Adam’s apple bouncing against the bottom of her foot. He needs to make her trust him, preferably before she does something rash like snap his neck. “I’m Dean Winchester. I’m your son. I’m… Sam’s brother”
The pressure lets up on Dean’s neck even though Mary’s shaking her head. “No. No, I don’t have two boys. They’re- they’re just kids.”
Dean winces, breathing heavily. This is gonna be a motherfucker for her to understand. Still, Mary lets him up, and he stands and rubs his neck, trying desperately to recall every bit of information he’s stored away about his mom. “Mom. Listen to me. Your name- your name is Mary Sandra Campbell, okay? You were born December 5, 1954, to Samuel and Deanna Campbell. Your father, he bounced around a lot for, uh, work, and you bounced right along with him, and you ended up in Lawrence, Kansas.”
Mary flinches, the facts hitting straight-on. “How do you know all that?”
“Dad told me.” Dean tells her. He doesn’t tell her that he had to gather the story from slurred words, drunken tears in between stories about the perfect wife. That he recited them in his head like a prayer so he wouldn’t forget her. “March 23, 1972, you walked out of a movie theater - Slaughterhouse-Five. You loved it, and you bumped into a big Marine and you knocked him flat on his ass. You were embarrassed, and he laughed it off, said you could make it up to him with a cup of coffee. So, you went to, uh,” God, what was the name of that stupid place? “Mulroney’s, and you talked and he was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song,” A memory of a smiling young alive Mary comes to mind, and he pushes it away because it hurts. She’s right there. “So when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed. That was the night that -” You fell in love with- “that you met -”
“John Winchester.”
“August 19, 1975, you were married… in Reno. Your idea.”Dean had always thought that was hilarious. He looks her in the eyes again, pleading with her to not dispute the next part. “A few years later, I came along, then Sammy.”
“No, no. My oldest was a girl, Deanna.” Mary looks Dean up and down, taking in his short hair, wide shoulders, and flat chest. He crosses his arms over that now, uncomfortable, hoping she isn’t looking at his long eyelashes or his delicate cheekbones or his hips. All the places he’s insecure about.
“Yeah, um… that’s me.” He looks up at her, his jaw clenching, waiting for the ball to drop. “I shortened the name a little, and the- uh- hair.” He tries for the old charming smile as he runs a hand through the spiky hair he hasn’t let grow out in 20 years. It doesn’t quite get there, settling at a more delicate need for approval. Mary doesn’t give it to him. “Do you believe me?”
She bypasses the question, turning her eyes away from him to look at the car behind him. Something changes in her eyes. “I burned.” She says quietly, like she’s remembering the heat. Dean swallows. He remembers the heat too. “How long have I been gone?”
“33 years.” His voice cracks.
Mary looks back to him, and she moves forward, putting two gentle fingers to his cheek, to the freckles sprayed across soft skin. He’s had them forever, even when he was little. “Dee?” She calls him by his old nickname; Dean’s doubly thankful that he doesn’t use his deadname.
“Hi, mom.” There are tears in his eyes.
------------------------------------------------------
“How did he die?”
Dean bows his head. He’s really not selling himself too good here, is he? First the trans thing, now- “He gave himself up for me.” He’ll be surprised if Mary wants anything to do with him. Surprisingly, she chuckles and sniffles.
“That does sound like John.” He looks over, and she’s smiling. His brow furrows. Killing himself to save Dean’s ass does sound like John, but not in a way that makes him want to smile. “And he was a hunter? And he raised-” She stutters now, looking at him again and looking away just as quickly. “You and Sam to be-”
“Yeah, he did.” A cold weight is settling in Dean’s stomach, and he tries and fails to not let it seep into his words.
“And you said we’ve met before, when you traveled through time,”
Dean nods. It had been horrible and amazing to see Mary and have her see him, just as some guy. A guy, at all. “Twice. Your memory got wiped, so…” So you don’t remember me telling you I was your kid, and you not believing me. I do.
“And you’re… my daughter-”
Dean coughs. He hasn’t been called a daughter in a long-ass time. “No, I’m- I mean. I was. I know it’s a lot. And I’ll explain everything. I will. But right now, let’s get out of here. Let’s get you home. Come on, Mom.”
She doesn’t correct him, which means she must believe, at least a little bit, that she is his mom.
-----------------------------------------------------
“You live here?” She looks around the cavernous space and he smiles, looking around too. It really is awesome.
“Yeah, when we’re not on the road. It’s an old Men of Letters bunker.”
“Men of Letters?” She scoffs. Dean grins a bit and looks at her. He thinks he likes her. “They’re a myth. An old hunter’s story.”
He tilts his head. He’s just gonna keep blowing her mind today, apparently. “Not so much. New duds look good.” He gestures to her clothes. He’d lent her some extra clothes he’d had in the trunk, and he tries not to fixate on how they weren’t that big on her. He’s not much taller than her, and he knows part of that even is the heeled boots he’s wearing.
“Well, thanks. It’s better than walking around in that nightgown the rest-” Dean’s nodding, about to say something extremely awkward like ‘Yeah, nightgowns are a bitch,’ when he finally looks at what she’s staring at, spattered on the floor of the bunker. “That’s blood.”
“Yeah.” Dean’s heart leaps into his throat, but he goes into autopilot before he can think about freaking out. He takes his gun out from his pants and cocks it, clearing the immediate area. A blurred sigil on the wall puts another bolt of fear through his chest. “Sammy? Cas?” He winces at how high his voice goes.
He takes the Map Table’s gun out from its hiding place and hands it to Mary. She was a hunter too, and he’s not about to leave her unarmed to clear the place. “Take this. Stay here.” Dean takes off immediately. It isn’t until he’s moving on to check the kitchen that he hears the voice. Mary’s clear as a bell, saying,
“Hands, now,”
Dean’s in the room before he can think about it. His heart practically comes undone when he sees that dumb familiar trench coat. He puts his body between Cas and his mom’s gun immediately, hoping she will trust him enough not to shoot through him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! It’s okay, it’s okay. He’s a friend, all right?” He meets Cas’s eyes and sees the utter relief in his eyes, and a surge of warmth fills his chest. “Hey, Cas.”
It’s a lackluster greeting when they both thought they’d never see each other again, and Cas shows it when he steps forward quickly and pulls Dean into a tight hug. “Dean!”
Dean grins and pats his back. “Hey, okay. All right,” He comforts him quietly.
“Dean, you’re alive?” Cas pulls away and looks him over, like he’s afraid Dean might disappear. Dean nods, understanding; he had done the same thing to Mary, after all.
“Yeah.”
“What about the bomb and the Darkness? What happened?”
“I’ll tell you everything. Where is Sam?”
“He’s not here.” Obviously. Dean could smack him, but his face wants to break into a fond smile instead. He represses both urges.
“Are you a hunter?”
“No, I’m an angel.”
“He’s an angel.” Dean says over Cas. They look at each other and then back at Mary.
“Come again?”
“An angel, with a capital A,” Dean clarifies. He feels, ridiculously, a little bit like he’s showing off. Showing Cas off. “You know, wings, harp.”
“No, I don’t have a harp.”
Dean laughs. “This is Castiel. Cas, this is… Mary. Winchester.”
------------------------------------------------------
“It’s been kinda weird, here. You know, with mom being back?” And learning that her baby girl is now a full grown man? “It’s like we don’t know how to act around each other, so we just kinda make this small talk, and act like it’s normal, but it’s- it’s so not normal.” Dean can hear the pleading in his voice.
“What has she said to you?” Cas asks quickly. Dean bites his lip to hide the smile he’s trying to get from hearing Cas get all angry and protective on his behalf. He’s reminded of the time Cas looked him directly in the face and said, ‘Dean Winchester, if anyone is ever transphobic to you, I will smite them immediately and without any remorse.’ And before Dean could make a quip about internalized transphobia, Cas added, ‘Do not make me do that to you.’
“Well, nothing. That’s- that’s the whole point.” It’s the kind of thing most people usually wanna go over, what the fuck gender their kid is? He’s pretty sure no news does not mean good news in this context.
“Okay, what have you said to her?”
“Well, nothing. I’m- I don’t know what to say to her, y’know? It’s like it’s all too much, and I don’t wanna overwhelm her.”
“Dean, your identity is not ‘too much.’” Cas says immediately. Dean sighs. That wasn’t what he meant, even though he has said something similar before. Something when he was lonely and sad and feeling like explaining his dick to a one night stand was too complicated for him to do to even assuage it that way.
“No- I know. It’s not that. It’s… everything.”
Now it’s Cas’s turn to sigh. “Don’t make things unnecessarily complicated, as you humans tend to do. I’ll call you.” He hangs up.
Dean lets the phone fall with his arm limp to his side. “Yeah. Great. That’s helpful.” He says to the empty air. “That’s helpful.” Asshole.
-------------------------------------------------------
They’re in the car, and Dean is driving, and there is too much going on. He’s not sure whether he’s happy that Cas is in the backseat for this conversation or not. “So you’re… my Deanna.”
Dean’s hands tighten on the wheel. He looks at them and ignores the voice in his head that says they are petite. Womanly. “Uh, yeah. I was born Deanna Jane Winchester.” He clears his throat and meets Cas’s eyes in the rearview. He gives him a little nod, and Dean continues. “I’m… It’s called trans.”
Dean risks a look over at Mary, and she’s playing with her ring. “So you… wanted to be a boy.”
Dean clears his throat again. He’s pretty sure he does it every time before he talks, and he’s also pretty sure his voice gets lower every time he talks, too. He swears it’s an automatic reflex.
“Dean’s soul is- that of a human man.” Cas interrupts, saying it like that clarifies things. The corner of Dean’s mouth tilts up a little bit. Cas did tell him that he could see his soul, and also told him that it was, and he quotes ‘A color more similar to that of a men than women.’ Which, yeah, that tracks. He guesses Cas leaves off the ‘more similar’ part to make things simpler for Mary.
“And so you…” Mary trails off, a finger pointing toward his chest aborting its mission when she realizes it might be rude.
Dean raises an eyebrow with amusement. “Cut my tits off? Yeah.” He takes a hand off the wheel to raise his shirt, proudly showing off his top surgery scars. Mary trails a hand along them, feeling the raised skin. “After Sammy went to college. It was a bitch of a few weeks, but it was worth it.”
Mary takes her hand away and nods, brows furrowed like she’s trying to wrap her head around it. Dean grins. The grin freezes awkwardly, the edges tilting down, when Mary opens her mouth again. “So you have a-”
Cas coughs loudly in the back seat. Dean meets his wide eyes with a similar expression, and Mary cuts off the question, catching onto the fact she said something wrong. “Don’t think we really need to go there, do we, mom?”
That was a question for him and whatever lucky son of a bitch (gender neutral) ended up in his bed at the end of the night. “Right.” Mary says quickly. She turns her whole body then, asking, “Is that why you like men?”
Dean only swerves a little, he swears. The car coming the opposite direction doesn’t seem to agree, holding its horn long and hard. Luckily, it gives him a moment to stutter less obviously.
“Sorry, I just meant- since you two are-” Mary gestures between Cas and Dean, and Dean blinks his eyes solidly, trying to convince himself this is really happening.
“No! I mean, we-” Dean doesn’t have the balls (hehe) to look at Cas in the back seat, but he can see the trench coat shifting out of his peripheral. “I’m not-”
“Was John okay with this?”
Dean laughs. It comes out bitter and dark. “Dad didn’t much give a fuck what I did with my body. He’d given up on grandkids about the time he saw how decent I was at hunting, so my long hair wasn’t a personal loss.” He knew I wasn’t gonna live long enough to give him grandkids, not without some self-sacrifice on John’s part.
Mary looks a little shocked at his outburst, and Dean almost feels bad for being so blunt and crass. But then he remembers growing up with John as his male role model, and he tightens his jaw. No, the bluntness and crassness was accurate. “Oh.”
“... Yeah.” Dean bites his lip and risks another glance at his mom.
“So, you’re okay with this?” He waves a hand at himself. Asking if she was okay with him was just too pathetic, even for him. She looks at him uncertainly, a frown he recognizes as his own on her face.
“I don’t think I’m okay with any of this, Dean. But… I guess I’ll adjust.”
#tw: dysphoria#trans dean#destiel#deancas#ftm dean#transmasc dean#fanfic#dean is trans#my writing#mine
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I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)
this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville
You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?
Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ♪. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.
Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.
Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.
More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).
Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).
He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.
This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).
At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.
He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).
Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.
Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).
Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.
But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).
And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!
Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺
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The Reason Part 18- Old Friend
Thomas and Newt trudged after Gally in a foul sewer pipe. Newt loudly complained about the smell but was unable to get any conversation going between either of the boys.
"We've got a ways to go, stick with me," Gally told them as he flicked on some string lights along the curved tunnel wall. He figured he had plenty to atone for, but they weren't going to be his friends any time soon.
"So, are you ever going to ask about Nikola, or should I just start telling you?" Newt finally bit the bullet and launched into a touchy topic. "We seem to have time.”
"I saw you guys in the city," Gally said without looking at him, his hand clenching into a fist by his side as he remembered how close Nikola had been to Newt. "I can put things together."
Newt let out a short, humorless laugh. "Are you kidding? I couldn't even compete with you when you were dead," he informed his old friend, finally receiving a glance from him.
Gally felt his chest constrict a bit and his hand went over his scar, Newt's eyes following the motion.
"Bet you've got a bloody big scar, aye?" Newt asked. "She has one too."
"How?" Gally asked with furrowed brows.
"The spear grazed her shoulder before it hit you. You'd hardly notice it if she could keep her bloody hands off it. It's her tell for when she's thinking about you," Newt informed him, his lips pressing together in a sad sort of smile.
"And how would you know that?" Gally asked, wondering why Newt was even telling him this. He'd been the bad guy, the one who took over the glade and killed Chuck. And on top of that, Newt loved her too.
"Because she always looks sad when she does it. Gally, I'm sorry you think we 'left you to die', but don't think of her that way."
"It took four men to drag her away from you," Thomas added, making both of them turn to him in surprise. His eyes had a far off look, as if he were remembering. It was obvious he was think more of Nikola than of Gally. "I'll never forget how she was screaming."
Gally could vaguely hear it ringing in his ears before he blacked out, but it wasn't nearly as haunting as what Thomas remembered. It hurt Gally to think of it so he turned and tried to keep them moving.
"I heard her one night in the scorch," Newt wasn't ready to drop it, not until he sussed out just who Gally had become. "She was on watch with Fry and thought we were all asleep. She blames herself for you and Chuck-"
"What?" Gally asked as he came to a dead stop and turned around, his Adam's apple bobbing as he tried to swallow a lump in his throat. Newt almost ran into him. "Why would she?" He almost begged for an answer as his eyes became glassy. It reminded Newt of how he'd looked when he was stung and crying.
"She thinks she could have taken the gun from you. Then you never would have fired a shot, and Minho never would have had to put a spear in your chest," Newt explained, hating that she'd never entrusted that information to him personally.
Gally bit his lips and looked away, running his hand over his hair which was even shorter now than it had been in the glade. "Oh, Shuck," He said with a shaky breath, his bad lung acting up on him.
Newt smiled at the sound of an old glader word. It had been a long time since he'd heard it. "You two have a lot to talk about when we get back, so let's hurry this up, yeah?" Newt suggested and they got moving again.
It was late when they returned. Fry and Brenda were still there waiting for them but were leaning on a wall half asleep. Gally looked around for Nikola, his brows furrowing when he didn't see her. He wondered if he'd been right to have suspiscions about Lawrence and his interest in her.
"She went to go rest," Fry told him with a yawn. "I don't know where."
"Alright, I'll take you guys somewhere we can talk and then I'll go get her," Gally told them.
He asked around and finally found out that they'd actually taken her to his room. She lay on the bed with her back to the door, her jacket laid over her like a blanket and her hair splayed across his pillow, probably making it smell like her. He stood in his own doorway just looking at her for a moment. He thought he'd never see her again, that she'd either be dead or taken by wicked or hiding from wicked so that he'd never have a chance of finding her. But there she was, on his bed. Like it was meant to be.
Slowly he walked over, looking at her peaceful profile before gently putting a hand on her shoulder. "Nikola, wake up," he said softly.
Despite all his efforts to wake her up calmly she woke with a start, gasping and looking at him with wide eyes as she went up on her elbow. Then she shut her eyes tightly and looked down, putting a hand over her face. "Sorry. Sorry, I forgot for a second," She told him as she sat up.
"It's alright," he said as he glimpsed the scar on her shoulder through a tear in her old and ratty shirt. In fact, he almost thought it looked familiar, it might be the one she'd been wearing that day. After talking to Newt he knew he couldn't repeat his mistake in the glade. He had to talk things out with her. "Listen," he said kneeling by the bed, her face softening in surprise. "The others are waiting. We're gonna go talk about what to do next, but after that... can we talk?"
Her eyes went slightly wide and she swallowed, reminding him of the face she'd make when he would come over to correct something she was doing wrong. It made his chest feel tight again.
"Yeah," she finally answered, nodding a little too much. "Sure."
She hadn't been that close to him yet and it threw her for a loop. She could have sworn he was even bigger than before. His hair was shorter now and his face was slightly harder, life having aged him and whittled off most of his soft, boyish edges. But those were still the same plump lips she so vividly knew.
He nodded, straightening up, and she got off the bed and put on her jacket again, noting how his eyes traveled down her body. Maybe he was thinking she looked different now too. Maybe she did, she wouldn't know, it's not like she had much time to look in a mirror even if she had one.
"What happened there?" He gestured to her hair as she was gathering it up in a ponytail again as she followed him through the halls. There was a section of hair on the left side that was significantly shorter than the rest of it.
"Oh, uh," she stuttered, the not so fond memory popping into her head. "A crank grabbed a fistful of it. It was either lose my hair or..."
His jaw clenched as he thought of her so close to a crank. Aside from Lawrence, he hadn't seen one himself, not the kind she'd encountered in the scorch that is, but he'd seen people who had begun to turn. It wasn't pretty.
"Hey, Gally," a girl stepped into the hall and gave him a smile that disappeared when her eyes landed on Nikola.
Gally gave her a nod and kept moving, noticing Nikola reach for her shoulder out of the corner of his eye.
Nikola was realizing just how much could happen in a year. She couldn't believe how much had happened to her, but she'd been so busy fighting for her life against cranks and Wicked and being betrayed and trying to get Minho back that she'd only thought of one boy, a dead one. Or so she thought. He could have been up to anything with anyone. Someone else could very well know Gally the way she knew him, or even more. Sure, she knew he didn't want her back in the glade, but at least back then he didn't have any other options, she didn't have to worry about him loving another girl because she'd been the only girl. That was no longer the case.
"Right here," Gally said, opening a door a pulling her out of her thoughts.
Everyone was waiting, looking tired, but Newt and Thomas gave her a look she didn't like.
"What did you find?" She asked them warily as she approached, stepping into the light of the single bulb dangling from the ceiling.
"Teresa," Thomas answered, making her reel back like he'd tried to slap her.
"Oh... shuck," she muttered with barely contained rage as she rubbed her right thigh, another scar courtesy of their good old two-faced frenemy.
Masterlist
@frequentlychangingfandoms @quackquackbi @poulterjonas @crazysheeplyca @pre-google @gladerscake @neilox @thesuitkovian @carp3d1em @cottoncandy-dreamxd @emilyhadenbaker
#gally#gally imagine#tmr#tmr gally#maze runner gally#maze runner#fanfic#imagine#will poulter protection squad
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How Disney/Lucasfilm failed Finn and John Boyega
A rant about my continued frustration on how Lucasfilm/Disney failed Finn and John Boyega
John Boyega’s Finn was setup as the male lead and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy. That’s not an opinion, that’s not a headcanon, that’s a literally fact. He was set up to be equal with Rey & Kylo’s foil and we all know why that changed.
John Boyega was cast as the male and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy by JJ Abrams, who had to fight for John Boyega to be cast against the preferred (White) casting choices.
Originally Finn(Sam in the original treatment) was white
Majority from Okiro’s twitter thread exposing Lucasfilm’s hypocrisy when it comes to representation and black history
JJ Abrams told Finn he was the new star of Star Wars
In The Force Awakens. Finn was a Stormtrooper who defected. After witnessing the death of his friend Slip and seeing the innocents being killed, Finn made the decision to save Poe Dameron and leave The First Order. Finn only wanted to leave The FIrst Order and run away. But after meeting Poe and later Rey, Finn began to care for more than himself. Finn was mentored by Han Solo. For once, he had a father figure and a positive role model as opposed to people like Hux and Phasma. He learned to care for Rey and even love her. After Starkiller Base destroyed the Hosnian System, Finn realized running was pointless and knew he had to fight. Then Kylo Ren took Rey. Finn went to The Resistance using his time on Starkiller Base to shut down the shield generator and plant the explosives on the thermal oscillator. Finn’s main focus was rescuing Rey. After Kylo force pushes Rey into a tree, Finn faces Kylo Ren. Finn learns to overcome his fears of The First Order and faces the symbolic evil that was Kylo Ren. Although Finn does not win, he puts up a good fight and was put in a coma for daring to defy Kylo. Then they bait and switched us with Rey. I’ll let you read my rant on that.
Finn was the co-protagonist of The Force Awakens, this is evident of Finn’s actions saving everyone. Finn is the very reason why the Resistance is even alive. Finn breaks his life-long brainwashing, informs Rey and Han about the importance of BB-8 and helps out in getting BB-8 to the resistance and provides vital information that lead to the destruction of STB and gets nearly killed while helping to achieve this. If it were not for Finn saving Poe, BB-8 would’ve been scrapped for parts and Rey never would’ve left Jakku. The map would either be destroyed or be in the hands of The First Order. Starkiller Base would’ve destroyed D’Qar and Ach-To. He is the reason why Poe is still alive. He is the reason why BB-8 isn’t parts and Rey left Jakku. Because of leaving Jakku, this is the sole reason why Han and Chewie were able to find the Falcon. And he is the reason why The Resistance was able to find out about Starkiller Base’s weakness. he Helps out in sabotaging STB so that Poe, the very pilot he saved in the beginning can deliver the finishing blow to Starkiller Base and destroy it completely.
There are some missed opportunity in TFA, believe me I know as I feel JJ squandered the theme of Stormtroopers rising up against their oppressors and that crack about Finn being a janitor was so tone deaf and unnecessary.
Don’t believe me that Finn was meant to be the co-protagonist of the Sequels? Look at the marketing?
Also. Just look at the hopeful optimism and representation FInn brought to black people.
Then the racist boycotting happened. The boycott was groups of bigots who wanted the ST to be boycotted. What was the response from Lucasfilm? Zero defense of John Boyega, but their actions were transparent when they shrunk Finn on the TFA poster for fucking China’s sake, kept him off the TLJ teaser poster, and small on the official poster
I’ll let what Rian Johnson chose to do with Finn speak for itself. John Boyega has every right to hate what Rian did with his character.
By giving into the boycott and doing their best to erase and sideline John Boyega, Lucasfilm proved they would always cater to mob law if the mob was big enough. Do I have proof of this boycott against John Boyega? Yes, I do.
Also, popular Reylo blogger Jenny Nicholson’s racism against John Boyega
Reminder that Jenny Nicholson blocked a whole fuckton of Black people who even gently criticized her about how she went after John Boyega
Did Lucasfilm after The Force Awakens try to support their Black lead in any way? No. In fact, they began to erase him harder than ever to the point Fans started a hashtag #WhereIsFinn because it was getting so bad. But Bryan Young, a Lucasfilm writer, sure loved to hate on Finn
Lucasfilm was so racist, the very concept of a Black man and a white woman getting together sent them into such a frenzy Lucasfilm had to have it removed from any EU material just to make sure they kept it nice and bigot friendly. Also it’s worth noting that Alan Dean Foster was ordered by Lucasfilm/Disney to scrap any hints of Finnrey romance from the TFA novel as he believed that was the direction of the Sequels’ romance and coincidentally they did next to nothing with and we know it was racially motivated. "I expected to see that developed further in Episode VIII [The Last Jedi]," Foster said. "And zero happened with it. And we all know why zero happened with it — and there's no need to go into it in-depth — but that's, sadly, just the way things are."
It wasn’t JJ Abrams, Lawrence Kasdan or Chris Terrio who were against Finnrey. It was Disney and Lucasfilm and RIan Johnson was more than happy to separate Rey and Finn 99% of the movie(he said and did enough things to prove that he didn’t want the two characters even near each other)
Then John spoke about his frustration with how he was treated
People have tried to twist the narrative or put words in Boyega's mouths, but his GQ interview paints the picture rather clearly. He was sidelined due to his race after The Force Awakens when The Last Jedi came around with a "reordered character hierarchy" Lucasfilm's order btw
It resulted in Rey and Kylo Ren being featured prominently in both TLJ and TROS. It also resulted in Reylo being canon. Lucasfilm killed the Sequel trilogy, cause they couldn’t bare the thought of a black man in the leading role and a interracial relationship.
If you look at TFA, you’ll realize that Finn was built up to becoming a Jedi, Kylo’s foil and Rey’s equal. Because TLJ happened, Finn’s role was reduced to a side character and JJ could not make him as prominent as he originally wanted to. EIther studio interference or TLJ screwed everything up so bad that he had to work on it slowly and just hope that Disney + would have something for Finn.
At the start of the trilogy, we all thought people of color would have a prominent role in the new trilogy, there was a potential for the first interracial relationship in Star Wars and there was a potential for the first LGBT relationship in Star Wars. But no, it’s clear that both TLJ and TROS gave us the impression that only white people can be Jedi and only white people can have epic romances and save the galaxy, people of color can only have secondary roles. And the blink and you miss it kiss? Only white women, not two men of color who clearly love each other.
Finn’s best scenes were deleted.
Finn and the villager. it really shows why Finn chose to leave. Finn’s reasoning for leaving the First Order had nothing to do with being against violence, but a moral confliction of not wanting to hurt defenseless people. This villager wasn’t a soldier, wasn’t trying to hurt him. She was just a woman with her baby. This wasn’t war, this was murder, and Finn refused to be a murderer.
TLJ alternate opening. Opens with Finn waking up. Small change, but it would show that Finn is still a prominent character.
BB-8 shows Finn Rey’s last moment with him. BB-8 tries to cheer Finn up, but to no avail until he shows him a recording of Rey from the end of The Force Awakens - the scene she says goodbye to an unconscious Finn and kisses him on the forehead before leaving to find Luke Skywalker.
Poe gives back his sewn up jacket to Finn. In this deleted scene, Poe fills in the gaps and tries to assuage Finn about his concerns, including Finn's mixed feelings about his relationship with the Resistance. Poe then gives back the jacket that was once his and became Finn's in The Force Awakens, showing Finn that he sewed it up. This scene doesn't necessarily push forward any plot development, but should've remained as great a moment between Finn and Poe. The two characters established a wonderful chemistry and bond in The Force Awakens, and with Finn off on Canto Bight for much of The Last Jedi, fans didn't get to see as much of their relationship as expected. It's nice to see that chemistry and bond again. Finn's question about winning is also interesting in highlighting the constant uphill battle of the Resistance. Even destroying the Starkiller Base, Rey defeating Kylo Ren, and blowing up a Dreadnought can still put the Resistance in the position of fleeing.
The elevator scene between Finn and an old Stormtrooper friend. A Stormtrooper voiced by Tom Hardy recognizes Finn and starts talking to him. Finn starts to draw his gun, thinking the Stormtrooper has recognized him as a traitor, but it turns out the Stormtrooper is just surprised to see that FN-2187 has become an officer. The scene may go on for a bit too long, but ultimately it should've stayed in. The scene in the elevator does a great job playing with the audience's emotions, as they're unsure whether the tension will rise to the breaking point of a fight or evolve into a humorous moment. It also shows Finn using restraint by not killing a fellow Stormtrooper, unlike the other two movies.
Phasma’s alternate and BETTER death scene. WHY WAS THIS CUT????? No seriously, WHY WAS THIS FUCKING CUT????? I will never understand why this was deleted. Finn calls her out about her betrayal of lowering the shields and when this information is revealed, the Stormtroopers near her look suspicious and it looks as if they are going to turn on her. Phasma like the ultimate survivalist she is kills them with no hesitation. Finn cuts her hand off and blasts her into the abyss, giving Phasma a more deserving and better send off. Seriously, this is way better than their actual confrontation. What I really like about this scene is its direct connection to The Force Awakens plot point and that it acknowledges Phasma's survivalist attitude which was introduced into her novel. The Phasma novel and comic portrayed her not as a First Order loyalist, but as a ruthless warrior who did whatever it took to survive. She even went so far as hunting down and doing away with those within the First Order who had knowledge of what she did at the Starkiller Base lest the truth get out. Phasma was always about self-preservation, she wasn't about preserving the First Order, but that never comes across in The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi. It only comes across in this deleted scene where Phasma chooses to end her own Stormtroopers to save herself.
Something else that bothers me. Finn’s treatment in the expanded universe. Have you ever noticed that Poe and Kylo got all the big expanded universe material and Finn is always shoved into the background or not there at all? Even worse, every form of media portrays Finn as Poe's bumbling sidekick, which is even more apparent in TROS. They were more interested in having Poe and Finn being the Abbott and Costello of the ST instead of letting Finn going from Stormtrooper to Jedi and lead a Stormtrooper Rebellion.
In the journey to TROS, Finn is not featured in ANY of the novels or graphic novels for the Journey to TROS. When he was, he was used as Poe’s sidekick and not featured anywhere with Rey. Before the release of the movie, he is not featured whatsoever in any shape or form in marketing. We get to see him in two teasers but he says nothing. His new outfit looks awesome. Finn could’ve been used to rise as a Jedi with Rey and essentially be the Skywalkers that Rise and face Kylo and Palpatine together. If not that, Finn could’ve caused a Stormtrooper Rebellion that burns The First Order from the inside out. Instead of any of that, it Finn was given nothing for this movie. He doesn’t even get to face Kylo Ren, their rivalry as foils was completely dropped. That is sad and heartbreaking.
Seriously, there is no novelizations or comics that expand on Finn’s time in The First Order. Sure, there is Before The Awakening. But consider this. Finn was their best Stormtrooper, so good that Hux considered him Captain material.
There is so much potential with Finn in the Expanded Universe. Apply all the posts I’ve linked and more.
The Poe Dameron comics were not about Poe’s life, they were about his personality, skills, character, and the Resistance. So I ask, why can’t/couldn’t the same have been done with Finn pre TFA? A comic series exploring his character while world building the First Order.
There is so much to tell. You could start with Finn vividly remembering his family and how he was abducted and recruited for the FN Corps.
You could even show the ruthlessness of The First Order by showing initiation for the FN Corps is only granted by forcing the children to kill each other in a Hunger Games/Battle Royale to see who the strongest and who deserves to be welcomed to the First Order. This would be in separate groups of the children who are abducted to determine who gets to be put in the FN Corps. We could see Phasma returning to the room, only to see a young Finn covered in blood and dried up tears. Phasma will only say “Welcome to The First Order, FN-2187.”
Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how Finn, a brainwashed soldier broke free of his mental conditioning, learned the truth of the FO yet still tried to be a good soldier. It could flesh out his relationship with the squad he led, as well as Phasma and Hux.
It could’ve also showcased the brotherhood and friendship Finn had with FN-2199 (“Nines”), FN-2000 (“Zeroes”), and FN-2003 (“Slip”).
The biggest thing it could do is finally show Finn’s skills as a soldier, his brains, while giving so much needed world building First Order. We could also finally show what it’s like as a FO stormtrooper from a sympathetic POV.
Through the avenue of a Finn comic series you could also flesh out Hux, Phasma, Nines, Zeroes, Slip, and even characters like Kylo and Snoke. It doesn’t have to cover spoilers, just make the one note more dimensional while giving Finn so overdue respectful content
It could end with everyone asking Finn “what was the moment you decided to leave” which then we would see the TFA deleted scene of Finn in the village
It could end on Finn saying "I was raised to do one thing, I used to think I’ve got nothing to fight for, but now I have something worth fighting for.“
And afterwards. You could show Finn and Jannah working together to liberating the other Stormtroopers. The first person they rescue? Zeroes, FInn’s last surviving Squad Member and together they awaken and liberate their brothers and sisters and all the while Finn rises up and becomes a Jedi!
For those wondering what about Finn in TROS? I’ll let this video do all the talking
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I’d also like to point out. Finnrey WAS going to happen in TROS. Here’s confirmation by Jedipaxis, the main reddit leaker, who was right about everything before the films release, confirmed that Finn’s “i never told you” line was supposed to have some payoff and it was going to end with finn and rey holding hands. could this pic have been of the alternate ending? then reshoots happened and we got the Reylo kiss
I’m convinced that John Boyega was told by the higher ups to say Finn was meant to say he was “Force Sensitive” no one who is about to die would “always want to tell you” they were force sensitive.
Hell, even in the original Episode IX by Colin Trevorrow. Duel Of Fates. Finn was given the shaft again. For some unknown reason, Rey is paired with Poe, a character who barely interacts with Rey at all. Finn was given another sidequest to do. The only brightside for Finn is he participates in retaking Corruscant and a Stormtrooper Rebellion near the end.
Finn, who was once held in prominence as the co-protagonist alongside Rey. Was erased from how prominent he once was and reduced to a sidecharacter due to China and fanbacklash that there was going to be a black lead in Star Wars. Disney caved in to the racist backlash and caved into China’s racist demands.
Finn deserved to be a main character alongside Rey, while Kylo Ren is their villain. He deserved a good character development, a great arc, an interesting backstory. he had the potential to become one of the most epic star wars characters. TLJ and TROS was an insult for him and he deserved better. nobody will EVER change my mind.
Finn should’ve been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi who embraced the light, while Kylo Ren who was the Skywalker who rejected the light and embraced the dark. Rey should’ve been Luke’s daughter, while Finn is the Jedi who builds himself up from being a Stormtrooper from nowhere to Jedi and together Rey and Finn stop Kylo Ren and bring down The First Order and rebuild The Jedi!
Finn should have been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi. It doesn’t matter that you think it tells a better story for him to not be a Jedi. “Finn being a hero who is not a Jedi is important.” Poe and Rose are great examples of ordinary heroes coming from nowhere. Rey was supposed to be a jedi related to Skywalker or Kenobi legacy while Finn was the perfect “nobody from nowhere” that becomes a Jedi. And honestly, Black kids deserved to see themselves in the Black Jedi and black kids deserved to see themselves as one of the three protagonists of the trilogy.
Finn got no last name No theme Was sidelined in the trilogy Had his scenes cut Mocked by Lucasfilm employees Racially harassed by bigots and media outlets Disney used while staying silent and then Disney has the nerve to say they “stand” with John Boyega during the BLM movement and celebrated Finn during black history month despite squandering him....
Finn deserved better, period!
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