#who claire writes for
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who i write for
anaheim ducks
jamie drysdale
trevor zegras
buffalo sabres
owen power
dylan cozens
carolina hurricanes
andrei svechnikov
sebastian aho
colorado avalanche
cale makar
bowen byram
columbus blue jackets
kent johnson
dallas stars
jake oettinger
wyatt johnston
detroit red wings
moritz seider
lucas raymond
los angeles kings
alex turcotte
quinton byfield
minnesota wild
matt boldy
brock faber
montreal canadiens
cole caufield
nick suzuki
kirby dach
new jersey devils
luke hughes
nico hischier
jack hughes
dawson mercer
john marino
new york islanders
mat barzal
toronto maple leafs
matthew knies
mitch marner
vancouver canucks
quinn hughes
non nhl players
cutter gauthier
luca fantilli
rutgers mcgroarty
gavin brindley
seamus casey
mackie samoskevich
mark estapa
ethan edwards
if you want me to add a player send me an ask and i might because i know there are some i've forgotten :)
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I just think that The Umbrella Academy writers just didn’t know what to do with Allison which is a shame bc she had so much potential! But no they made her lose her daughter, dropped her in 1960s Texas where she dealt with traumatic racism that was never addressed, lost the man she loved, was characterized as a villain for snapping after everything she went through, made a deal with the devil to get everything back, got the man she loved back for TWO SECONDS bc the writers said jk (: All of this for what? There was no point.
#so much wasted potential#Ray left her off screen?#lazy ass writing#it looks like the actor who played him wasn’t even working on other projects#they just did that for no reason#allison hargreeves#the umbrella academy#tua season 4#raymond chestnut#claire hargreeves#they all got done dirty this season#but allison since the beginning
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ON TONGUES THAT ARE NOT BORN ↝ SydCarmy | Rated: E | Complete 3/3 | Word Count: 17K+ | [READ HERE]
Summary: Tired graduate student Sydney Adamu pays for a yearly pass to the museum. It's easier to study there than at the library and the dollar coffee makes the pass pay for itself in a few months. Something draws her to the Classics and Antiquities hall. One statue in particular seems to have a strange hold on her. The Statue of Carmen, Merchant of Arpinum. When she comes in one day to find the statue has moved slightly, it sends her down a research rabbit hole that releases Carmen from a two thousand year old curse and puts them both in danger. The soulmates have to perform a ritual to ensure Carmen stays human and doesn't turn back to marble. OR Sydney wants to fuck a statue and the feeling is mutual.
♡ any reblogs/kudos/comments are all so appreciated!! Inspired by this post ♡
Syd in this fic:
big wet kisses to @ambeauty and @bakerst-sherlolly for encouraging this nonsense
#genuinely dont know how the fuck its 17k but i split it into 3 chapters but they are all up at once#im a canon divergence girlie NOT an AU writer so an au like this is a big leap for me lol#so hopefully i did a decent job#you guys who write AU's are truly talented wow#sydcarmy fic#anti claire bear#sydcarmy#sydney x carmy#the bear fic#ottanb#(and i know i have two wips that havent been updated but february has been a really shitty month. i promise updates are coming soon.)
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I know I've been on about this for a while now and I'm being a hater but you're telling me SydCarmy was "always meant to be platonic" even though there are two seasons of writing making use of tried-and-true explicitly romantic tropes, themes and writing signals, and SydLuca is going to be romantic because...he was nice to her on screen for a few minutes?
I don't even care if people ship SydLuca, or if they just prefer it, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe Carmy was always meant to be a friend but Luca is an obvious love interest.
Just because Syd and Carmy haven't kissed or confessed their love to each other doesn't mean that isn't very obviously the direction this show is going. The Bear has already shown you who is endgame. It has shown you every episode of the show so far.
Honestly I really don't think The Bear fanbase understands this show or cares about these characters or the story being told here, which is unfortunate because this show is shockingly well-written in comparison to most shows right now, and we should be so grateful for it but all we're doing is complaining that the writers led us on by not making a ship canon fast enough. It's just. Sad.
#The Bear#SydCarmy#I was like a casual fan of this show two days ago#and now seeing how little respect this show gets from it's fanbase I'm losing my mind#I mean I shipped SydCarmy before anyway but now it means so much to me#it means so much to see such a realistic and purposefully well paced romance take place#so many shows portray romantic relationships and their beginnings in ways that just don't really happen in real life#and this show very purposefully said no. These are characters who are strangers. who are working together. Who are in a tense environment#and each of them has problems - one of them the type of problems that makes developing new relationships pretty difficult#these two would not get together right away. It would take a long time. And there would be ups and downs.#And even when that's the case. Even if when it takes a long time and doesn't go smoothly and is hard -#it can still be beautiful. It can still be romantic. It can still happen and here's how#and I'm just so inspired genuinely. It is so difficult to write romance without being cliche and so difficult to write it in a way that#could actually happen in real life and I really do hope I can write something half as good some day#and then to know so many people have no appreciation for it at all#because they prefer the shows that have characters make eye contact a few times and then confess their love for each other like#it's just fucking sad. So sad that so few people have any appreciation for good writing especially the difficult of romance writing#like I really just don't even know what to tell you. In real life these two would not have confessed to each other yet. They would not have#kissed yet. They would not have even realized they have feelings for each other yet because those feelings would still be developing#and I also want to point out that given the disparity in power between Syd and Carmy in season 1 it wouldn't have been healthy for them to#get together much sooner. He was her boss. He was also her idol. Before they can even get together that needs to be balanced out.#And then on top of that don't you see the value in Carmy realizing the dream girl he's romanticized in his head - Claire - isn't actually#what he wants? Don't you see the beauty in him being disillusioned from that? And realizing that Syd is what he wants?#Don't you see the beauty in Syd having an idealized vision of what Carmy The Great Chef is like realizing she was wrong and that he's human#and flawed and then realizing - she loves him anyway? She loves him more for not being on a pedestal and for having his flaws?#Are you telling me that even thinking about this doesn't move you? Doesn't make your heart ache a little?#And again - ship and let ship - but what is Luca? What is Luca if not just what she was hoping Carmy would be when she wen to The Beef?#What is he if not just another man who she has not seen under pressure yet? Not seen reliving trauma yet? Not been her boss yet?#It's easy to look at him and think he's better than Carmy - and that's the point. That's the point The Bear is making.#It is easy to want someone you don't know. It's hard to want to someone you do know. But that's what love requires and that's the point
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it's just that like. the more i think about them the crazier i feel


#claire is who mary could have been if it weren't for The Plan. you know???#i'm still mad we never got to see them interact#they would have been such a compelling duo#anyway. still writing my fic where mary becomes claire's hunting mentor and claire helps mary come to terms with her sexuality#mary winchester#claire novak#spn#spnwin
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Carmy's anxiety
My favorite thing to obsess over and that I don't write about enough is the show's depiction of anxiety and Carmy's struggles with it as his anxiety creeps into his ability to make decisions.
With anxiety, there's a lingering doom that you'll make the wrong choice, and it's paralyzing. Also, with decision-making, there's the fear that the decision could hurt someone. Along with the discomfort that everything will fall on you. You'd rather someone else make the decisions because if the other shoe drops well, it's not your fault.
We see this anxiety and the inability to make decisions specifically with claire.
In episodes 1 and 2, Carmy starts making progress in managing his anxiety. He's beginning to understand how his brain tends to focus on feelings of dread rather than joy. Despite his distress, he agrees to help Sydney get the star. He's consistently going to al-anon, and we also learn that Carmy's family inadvertently affected his ability to experience joy, which has contributed to his ongoing struggle with anxiety. Carmy also shares some mindfulness techniques for managing it, such as staying present, focused breathing, and reminding himself that everything is okay. But, this mindfulness is interrupted when Claire calls him, and his anxiousness is through the phone as he struggles to make decisions about whether to tell Claire that he can't go out and instead needs to be with Sydney.
Since getting involved with Claire he has been avoiding making decisions, delaying them, and putting everything on Sydney. He even let Claire make the choice for the chaos menu. It's easier for him to have Richie, Mikey, and Fak tell him how to feel about Claire rather than coming to his own conclusion. Because what if he doesn't make the right decision? What if he hurts her? What ifs... what ifs - dread.
I don't believe it's Claire's fault or that she has any nefarious intentions. I think one part of her role is to show what it's like to function in a stressful job without suffering from anxiety, while Carmy is dysfunctional. She seems out of place because the audience is following characters who are barely holding on while trying to live out their passion and purpose while being kind to each other, all while processing their trauma.
For claire, it seems too easy and that she doesn't need to wait for the other shoe, and it's weird to witness.
Although not evil, there is something about Claire triggers Carmy's alarms/anxiety to go off, and it could be the past. It could be Mikey. I just wonder if season 3 will we get more understanding of Claire's role in Carmys story, and will Carmy finally make a decision?
#carmys anxiety i feel on a personal level#may write a part 2 who knows#the claire of it all#anxiety is the gloomy theme of the show
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The thing with the names
… is under the cut bc of s3 spoilers…
We’ve noticed how NYC chef calls Carmy “Bergazzo,” right, and how Shapiro then calls Luca “Lucas”? We see this?
And then we see Chef Terry at the end asking Carmy to call her by her first name the next time they’re together?
That’s something.
#the bear#the bear meta#I haven’t read any meta about this season yet so apologies if I���m repeating something we have all indeed noticed already#But I’m sad about what they’ve done to our girl Syd here#It makes sense that they’d give her this conflict about leaving and I like that#But it’s not in character for her to fail to hold Carmy accountable#That bugs me a lot#and something was off with the writing and pacing this season#and if they drop Syd into the trap#Of hitching her wagon to another white guy who is going to trample her creativity#Who’s never asked for her input at least in anything we’ve seen#Who may hold a grudge against Carmy#Who doesn’t owe her anything#Who isn’t offering her a partnership in any sense of the word#I will be very displeased#also please someone stop storer from trying to rewrite claire history#Carmy has never known a moment’s peace and he DEFINITELY has not known it with claire#stop retrofitting kissyface scenes that you did not show us earlier#no sir
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Happy March 29th!
Once again, it's Cambionverse Day and Jesse Turner's birthday. We don't have the next chapter of Envesseled ready to post yet, so we decided to post some excerpts from it instead! Please enjoy them, and as always, thank you for your patience <3
Amazon Rainforest, Brazil
"Do you think this is what it looks like?" asks Jesse as they leave, moving on foot through the towering forest until they find a place without angelic interference to let him jump. "In...Heaven or whatever. Where souls go. Do you think this is what Ben sees?"
Claire has dreaded the thought of Heaven since she was eleven years old, and some days she thinks she only survived this long out of fear of ending up there. Maybe this forest is a close analogue, if the way her skull feels about to vibrate off her spine is any indication.
"I keep thinking about what Marie said," he confesses. "About how he might be—happy there. With his mom."
"He's probably surrounded by angels," Claire retorts. "That's no one's idea of a good time, even if you're a Winchester." She doesn't want Ben to be happy in the afterlife, she realizes; either she is cruel enough to tear him out of Heaven, or cruel enough to hope he is suffering so that even being with her again would be a relief. She kicks away a vine that crosses their path and then crushes it under her heel out of sheer spite.
"But what if she's right?" says Jesse. "Don't you think—"
"No one asked you to think," she snaps. "I don't need the Antichrist's opinion of Heaven. Just take us to the next place."
Jesse stops. Claire does too, silent and glaring. He searches her face, and for a moment it's like he's looking at a stranger.
"I still want him back," Jesse says. "I didn't say I don't."
Claire flicks out her hand like she's drawing a sword. "Then stop wasting time," she says, "and let's go."
She kisses him again later that night, after a piece of grace in Kabul knocks her out too badly to continue. It's not an apology, and she doesn't try to make it one. But it does keep him from asking about Ben again.
Nile River, Egypt
"Just leave some for tomorrow," Jesse says as she wrings out her hair. The locals on shore haven't noticed them yet, but it's getting to be a close thing. "This is already more than we usually get in a day."
"I'm almost done," Claire mumbles. Her mouth tastes like copper. She reaches down again, gets hit with a flash of Castiel fighting off one of his brothers, and comes to with the river breaking across her face as Jesse pulls her up again.
"Claire," he says, holding her upright. "This is stupid. Just stop."
She ignores him, tries to pull away. When that doesn't work, she frowns and aims her mouth at his mouth instead. To her surprise, Jesse tightens his grip on her shoulders and stops her there too. When Claire's eyes refocus, she sees him watching her with a frown.
"Look," he says, quieter. "You can get your blood on my mouth if you want to. I'm still going to tell you you're going too far."
Claire reaches up to wipe her face, petulant, and only now notices that her nose has been bleeding all along. It's not that she didn't think he would notice the pattern, but he's not supposed to talk about it. A drop of red falls off her lip and stains the river red.
Jesse sighs. "It's not like I mind," he says. "The kissing, I mean, or whatever you want to call it. But just 'cause I like it doesn't mean I can't tell what you're doing."
"It's not a reward," Claire grouses.
"It can be whatever you like," says Jesse, too sincere. His hands are still holding her in place, holding her up. "You know that's always been true, don't you? And if you decide you don't want to do it anymore, that's also fine." His cheeks go a little red. "Or if, when Ben is back—"
The warmth of tolerant exasperation curdles in Claire's throat instantly. She pushes out of Jesse's arms, and this time he lets her go. "This isn't," she begins, and then chokes as the truth curse tries to twist her words. She smears more blood off her face and glares at the river. "My usual outlets aren't available right now. I've already explained what this does and doesn't mean to me. You have no excuse for wishful thinking."
She's glad she can't see whatever face he makes at that. By the time Jesse speaks again, his voice is as even as hers. "As I said. You'll do what you like." He steps out of the water. "Let me know when you're done."
Claire tastes blood the whole rest of her time in the Nile. They don't share a bed that night.
#writing#rough drafts#envesseled#cambionverse#claire novak#jesse turner#ben braeden#who is not actually here on account of being dead but he IS here in spirit :(#also disclaimer to those coming in from the claire tag this fanon version of her predates her canon appearance
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begging people to stop recommending madeline miller's circe to ppl who like the odyssey. like at this point, it sounds like ur tricking them.
#its odd that he makes such a big appearance in what is supposed to be a book about circe#like he was only on that island for a year#he should have been a footnote in her life#if u want to use telegony then oh m y god girl write telegony then what is ur deal#or even change telegony so its about calypso bc he was on that fuck ass island for 7 years#the writing is not even bad. its better than claire north's style which is just her having fun with no order of things#just pure chaos#but like it shouldnt even be called circe#it should have been literally anything else#i did not have a good time skim\speed reading this#as i knew i would fm the reviews#just absolutely annoyed#both books shit on odysseus and penelope to such an extent where im like#okay what did homer do to u?#and the funny thing is i dont think either of these authors hate those characters#i think they just dont care that much#both authors are just like 'hmm what if odysseus is like actually a terrible person who never learned anything and we were really self awar#of the songs that are written about him? and what if those songs were LIES and also their marriage was TERRIBLE'#and also the way miller shits on athena................that one felt personal
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WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND.
#IDK IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL BUT#THESE THING ARE LIKE VERY IMPORTANT TO MAYA AND HIKARI#(who are both claires LMAO?)#metaphorically or physically they were protecting them mentally being comfort little things for them#but they have to be honest with their feelings and cant hide behind their mascots#so their partners decapitate them#beacuse only two of them can stand on the stage#literally losing my mind over this#kuromahi and mayahika parallels hello???#revue starlight#someone in rbs mentioned hikari having some kind of freedom to run away YES#this difference between hikari and maya defines what goes next in revues#in mayas point of view the chick. the vessel is everything to her. its literally her okay#so when claudine decapitates it maya has no choice but to face her#but mr white is not everything to hikari tho hes important to her#and mayas chick melts meanwhile hikari lands on giant fluffy mr white#yeah yk what im talking about#I DONT KNOW HOW TO TALK sorry feels like i write total nonsense#revstar
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i really like how claire grew up educated and i don't think that's something people gather from her at first glance. it's not something people expect from her... she looks and sounds like a stereotypical valley girl and i don't think it would be a problem if she really were one (who cares); but part of claire's character is how people perceive her and then how that makes her perceive herself. she's a pretty good conversationalist and i don't mean that just because she talks a lot, but because she has a great range of subjects she has an opinion on since she's read about it/learnt it somewhere/took an interest in at some point of her life. she can keep any conversation going. and most people just don't have contact with this side of her because they don't give her a chance past their expectations of her <- but people who do engage with her sincerely like her a lot. and then there's the whole thing about her making you feel like the only person in the world when she talks with you.
and by 'educated' i mean her parents (both of them) actively sought out and encouraged her to learn stuff. she grew up around books and academia, and also around art and culture. she had a very privileged upbringing and she made the most of it. and at the end of the day, i do think her parents cared for her as a person and not as their little creature. to some extent. they wanted to see her grow up into a well-rounded adult, so they provided her with a lot of tools. not everything was good! i've written a lot before about how her relationship with her parents shaped her as a person, but also not all was bad. she has lots of skills she wouldn't have had otherwise.
i also think all of this relates to a broader aspect of her nature: she's very curious about things, very inquisitive and she doesn't accept most things at face value. it makes her very argumentative, to the dismay of some. it's funny to think she wouldn't have been too out of place if she had followed a career in biology.
#oc: claire swanson#good claire post since i often discourse about her flaws lol#i really like this aspect of her character. how she's perceived by people vs how she really is vs how that makes her see herself#i've written about her following a femme fatale trope but not really and what does that say about her and/or the men who seek her#<- on her letterboxd list. but i'd like to write more about it on a tumblr post too
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#''great and now i have to raise another one of my fatherhusband's children 🙄'' / ''dean that is an adult man''
screaminggg and he would’ve DONE IT TOO like in another universe, you know dean is driving them down once a month to stalk adam a la stanford era. and sam would be like “dean you don’t even like this kid” but that’s irrelevant sam!! he’s john’s and that makes him mine!!!
dean winchester will see an unattended youth and go "is anyone going to reluctantly parent that?" and not even wait for an answer.
but yea, he would.
okay and then i had actually serious thoughts :')
dean was ~11 when adam was born, so for dean it's two betrayals. bc it's john having a kid who he doesn't drag into hunting like he does with sam & dean and allows to grow up "apple pie." but (iirc) john doesn't seek out a relationship with adam until sam leaves for stanford. so like. there's the betrayal of your father having a secret extra child and the betrayal of a partner leaving you to go play dad to their shiny new secret kid with a former partner. it's a deep and complicated wound and tbh, dean handles it pretty well and is warming up to adam before he finds out it's actually ghoul!adam. and once we get real adam in s5(?) he's referring to him as family/a brother even tho they have never actually met before. (extremely funny tbh when adam is like who tf are you??)
ALSO. i have a lot of thoughts regarding the symbolic classism of john taking adam to baseball games being very Traditional Apple Pie Americana vs later on in s11 we find out that john mostly took sam & dean to indie pro wrestling shows (my beloved) which in my personal experience has tended to be seen as low class/trashy. all extremely sad bc on its good days, pro wrestling is shakespeare in the squared circle. sports for theater kids who never did theater.
#claire & bobby john & krissy & jack.... and how many other rando kids does he temporarily take responsibility for on cases?#per the baseball v wrestling thing: it's made tastier by 04x19 and 11x15 both being co-written by dabb who is clearly a wrassle fan#nobody would write 11x15 like that if wrestling wasn't beloved to them (as a pro wrassle fan 11x15 makes me GIDDY)#johndean#vampirejohn#i have a LOT of feelings about pro wrestling. i've cried watching men trade face slaps for 2min straight.
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if i were to have any critque of wolf hall, it would be how the women were written T-T. like i love wolf hall, but i have a critique for how every woman who wasn't a cromwell woman or who wasn't related to them was written.
#i am a wolf hall truther#but chile#i'm specifically looking at jane mary and mary#i have some thoughts about anne but i feel like i've complained about that#claire foy anne will always be famous#but the writing was incredibly biased#i also dont mind mary being a player but it was between she was a player and woe is me#and her relationship with thomas just...wasn't it for me#in my mind it's richard who she fools around with#and it works that way#until she is cast away#like the ideas in my mind for richard and mary#becuase they almost got married in the books#in my mind they are actually lowkey married he was married to her first and provides for her in secret#and he just never tells thomas#then there's richard - mary and mark smeaton but we're gonna stop there (and george boleyn)#anway#this is all to say#i don't like how mary was written in wolf hall#but i do like her character#i just would've written her differently
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what if i changed my fc to ka.rol queir.oz
#she is my inspo for claire's tattoos already so you know#idk i won't lie i feel a bit stagnant in regards of my writing and there's something i need to change tho idk what#maybe i need to more plot driven things who knows! guess i'll figure out eventually#opening my tl and seeing everyone and their mom is suddenly using rebecca as fc is also making me feel some type of way#which is a me thing obviously nobody is at fault i'm just being dramatiqueTM i guess#i feel like i need to write some other character for a while gjhj#tbd.
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Justice for Leah Clearwater. Still mad about it to this day.
God the Leah Clearwater stuff was so bizarre. All the stuff with the werewolves was bizarre! Oh Emery's the half brother of either Sam or Jacob or Quil but it'll never get brought up again. Oh Leah's infertile and hates it but there's no resolution to that story. Oh sometimes they can fall in love with babies but it's fine. And don't even get me started on how imprinting in and of itself is deeply fucked up for both the imprintee and imprinter alike but it's never acknowledged as such at all (the fact that Sam and Leah were deeply in love and then that went out the window just because Sam saw Emily, that's such a horrifying situation for all three of them! and that one creepy as Hell bit where Renesmee starts walking and Jacob immediately claps because he just has to automatically do what she wants even if he doesn't want to, along with the general creepiness of this adult man falling in love with a months old baby). And of course using an actual real life Native American tribe for all of this shit.
Listen, Twilight is not good. There's a lot of issues surrounding the writing and plot and worldbuilding, even if the hype against it was absolutely overblown and fueled mainly by misogyny. Unfortunately I read these books when I was ten and had a far less critical eye for the media I consumed, so I tolerated it and they still have the occasional hold on me.
#personal#answered#anonymous#and some stuff is just fucking funny in those books#the sequence of events where bella attempts to seduce her own husband who has sworn off touching her#by wearing a skimpy black negligee and then wakes up in sobbing hysterics because she had a sex dream about him#and proceeds to spend full MINUTES weeping and begging her own husband to fuck her#it's unmatched it is sooooo fucking funny#but there's a lot of stuff that's just weird#i've recently realized that stephenie was writing a LOT of people meeting their significant others when one of them was a child#and the other was a full adult#jacob and renesmee and quil and claire obviously#but carlisle met esmee as a child too#and even rosalie was talking about how the reason she first fell for emmett was because his dimples reminded her of her friend's baby#like mormonism is a hell of a drug
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you’d think the hardest part of writing is like. coming up with plots & backstories & complex ideas to convey through story. but actually it’s when you name your characters things that are too similar & constantly accidentally type the wrong name
#why did I include an emma & an Everett??? who are constantly onscreen together???#what was I thinking with. Carter Chase & Cody#I did this to myself in fucking a staircase to nowhere too#Chris Cassie Credence & Claire as all main characters???#what’s wrong with me#writing#rose.txt#reading back my recent chapter like. goddamn it I did it again
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