#who cares nobody reads these anyway

[i-appear-misssing]

Got woken up by my mom screaming for help, dog was scared too. I climbed the stairs two by two and the door was open upstairs so her screaming was loud and clear and it was the most horrible sound I've ever heard, probably worse than when I would hear her cry alone in the bathroom when I was a kid. I knew already that it was about her boyfriend with low blood sugar, but I'd never seen a hypoglycemic crisis that severe. He was still seizing a little and his lips and tongue were turning blue. I tried to stay calm like I used to when I would call the emergency number at work but my mom's screams just kept on coming and I could hear the panic in my voice as I talked to the operator. Later I felt so ashamed about that, I'm supposed to know how to stay calm in an emergency, I had so much practice. It was the first time I've ever called an ambulance for someone I know, I love. As soon as I got done with the call my mom sprinted out of the room to put the dog outside and make way for the incoming ambulance and I was alone with him. He'd gone stiff but he wasn't seizing anymore, he'd look at me when I talked to him but could hardly stay awake and the snoring breathing drilled into my head and he was so pale and sweaty and I kept looking at the little pool of tears that had gathered between his eye and the bridge of his nose. I kept wondering if he was scared, how terrifying it must be to feel yourself lose control and know what's happening knowing also that you cannot stop it. When he was still in the deep of it he grabbed my arm for a moment and squeezed and widened his eyes and I. I couldn't do anything except keep him on his side and talk and tell him to breathe I couldn't do anything except wait. Thank fuck my mom had managed to make him drink a smidge of sugar water before he collapsed, and it was kinda funny seeing him slowly get a little better just as the ambulance pulled into the driveway. I checked his blood sugar before the doctor got in and it was 65. Not even that low. Fear subsided fast and I immediately started feeling ashamed for how panicky I was on the phone, for being an actual medical doctor who couldn't do jack medical shit in a time of need and I was now in my pajamas with leftover makeup from last night and a girl I dated last year was in my mom's kitchen cause she's an EMT and I always tend to minimize what happened once the immediate danger is gone. He was fine in the end but he did smash his back into the radiator and was still confused as fuck after an hour. And I just keep thinking about my mom screaming bloody murder and his eyes rolling back and the hyperextension of his feet when I first got upstairs. My mom has had to deal with illness, hospitals, care facilities, death and grief for......nearly 15 years now. Before that was the gorey divorce, the abortion, mangling depression. I'm happy she found someone she loves, and I know she's an adult and should know how to take care of herself and so is he and so should he, but imagining her spending the rest of her life with the looming spectre of a chronic illness like diabetes, and having to deal with something like this alone in the future, maybe when they're both older and more fragile too.......god it shakes me to my core.

She asked me what would have happened if he was home alone. And I don't know, genuinely, cause I don't wanna be catastrophic abut something I'm not sure about, but I immediately thought he would have eventually gone into a hypoglycemic coma and.

I'm going away in a month, and he's gonna move in. Which is good I guess. But fuck if I didn't wish, sometimes, that she had found someone she doesn't have to worry about. And I know, that's shitty and ableist, I know, it's patronizing because this is a 50 yo man and he knows how to take care of himself but sometimes he really really doesn't, cause he's terrified of hyperglycemia and its long term effects so he sometimes is a little careless with his blood sugar, on the low side. I just want my mom to find some peace, but maybe I do take after her and I'm overreacting a little.

She's the least calm under pressure person I've ever known. And that also reminds me of someone else and maybe I understand stuff about myself and my choices a little better now. It's why I never talk to her about my worries, my problems. I wonder if she's the reason I'm always scared about almost every single thing, if this anxiety I'd hereditary or learned or......idk. the only thing I know is that I don't want that ancestral fear we share as a family consume me like that. It's on my dad's side too, it's in my sister as well, it contaminated every one of us, and it latches onto health stuff.

So this was fun

[hangryyeena]

SquidgeWorld refusing to even talk about Palestine and other genocides happening because "this a fandom space" is wild and severely disappointing

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

I really want to know how Lilith Sorrengail feels about trying her best to get her youngest daughter away from whatever it was that her dad supposedly found in the Archives after Brennan 'died', just to get said daughter even more involved with the tyrrish rebellion two: electric boogaloo.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[im-going-to-eat-your-family]

I get super offtrack and stuff but um here's me talking about myself and stuff

If you wanna listen to me rant ig:

So I learned about therianthropy from youtube (bc I don't have/want tiktok) and it was very different when I searched it on tumblr

I'm a lot more informed now I think and I've gotten more comfortable in my own fur (haha get it?[I'm so sorry]) and it was a huge thing for me for the first few months cause like WOAH new identity unlocked! And I wanted to tell my friends cuz... They are my friends ..... And I want them to know who I am ig

And holy roll of toilet paper that was so freaking awkward

I explained a little bit about what it was, and how it was different from tt and yt and they didn't say anything they just kinda say there and we're like okayyyy thennnnnn and I told them if they wanted to ask questions they could and i wouldn't bring it up again if it made them uncomfy

So I didn't bring it up again

One of the two friends has never said anything about it at all (it's fine, it is kinda weird even to me, so I understand) and the other is I think getting more less uncomfortable about it

Like friend #2 I was walking home from school with and they go 'haha you sound like a crow' and I just AAAAAAAA THAT MEANT SO MUCH TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE

but it is such an uncomfortable topic for people that I will never share that again unless they ask. I'm not gonna lie but I'm not gonna bring it up either 😭😭

I do occasionally hint at it? Like I won't say 'therian' or 'alterhuman/nonhuman' but I will say 'lok yeah I'm a crow/otter/cougar/etc' and I love doing that

It makes me so happy

Bc 'therian' makes people think of people that wear masks and run around on all fours (neither of these things are bad, but that isn't what therianthropy always is. The way I worded that sounds negative but I don't mean it that way I'm just bad with words)

And that makes ppl uncomfortable bc they don't understand it

Anyway

Online? I've gotten so much more comfortable

I've occasionally mentioned my animalness on my main blog bc.... ITs whO I aM

I don't like sharing my user to ppl I know offline bc I don't want them to know

But

I think as I've grown more used to and comfortable with my identity, I care less

So the next time a friend asks for my user? I will say @im-too-emotionally-involved because if they care about me at all? They will respect me and who I am.

[simcardiac-arrested]

no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending

Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That

[marsbotz]

not going to lie i do find it quite upsetting that so many ppl think that animals that arent immediately relatable to humans are completely incapable of thought or feeling. and thats the only thing that matters when it comes to animal rights arguments a lot of the time

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Imagine reading a new manga and joking about it being homoerotic and then it gets explicitly stated that one of the protags is gay

If I don't see any weird romance blossom between those two istg-

[astoryofsuchwoe]

i like to hurt my own feelings

[king-mera]

Me resisting the urge to type out a long angry rant complaining abt how other people don't portray Phoebe correctly

[doctorweebmd]

a really nice comment on 'nothing else fills' made me actually reread it for like, the first time in its entirety and.

wow. its... actually really good. like. i teared up multiple times and i'm the one that wrote it. why was i so mean to myself about it.

[praetorqueenreyna]

/Never read ACOTAR but follow several people who have/. Honestly one thing I’ve sort of… felt is that Nesta is one of the few female characters to have legit fans in this fandom of yours. Feyre doesn’t seem to have any which aren’t tied to shipping. And I mean I guess it’s a romance series and all but… still. Major fanfic vibes where the most popular pairing is only such because they use the girl character to project onto for their fictional crush. Tale as old as time. Or fandom anyway.

GOD YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! Feyre really is such a self insert for people who want to date Rhys and don't actually care about her. And yeah, really does give the fandom vibes of people flattening out the female character into a shell of her former self so that she can be a self insert. Except this time it happened in canon. Which I GUESS explains how these books got so popular even though they are terrible.

And like you said, Nesta is much more divorced of the shipping drama. I know lots of Nesta fans who hate her canon ship (ME INCLUDED) and enjoy her without her being paired with anybody. But then again, Nesta is an actual three dimensional complex character, and Feyre is a flat mirror reflecting the reader and their desires.

[spliqi]

eating this moment for breakfast lunch and dinner btw

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[lorillee]

seriously one of the greatest things ever written of all time. im crazy about this mahjong manga

[jasontoddenthusiastt]

Why are people who look at comic books from a “critical real-world lens” so obsessed with identifying the one person who is “100% right”. That doesn’t even exist in the real world.

Lost Days wasn’t made to protest global issues. It is a comic book exploring fictional character Jason’s mental journey after being resurrected and regaining consciousness against his will and/or power. Now how dare this character, in his own story where he has his own personal objective, not go out of his way to make sure each individual child from the collective hundreds he saved from traffickers and the likes gets adopted into nice homes. Obviously we have to disregard any good he did or that he cares at all because all he did was kill the fucker at the top who was responsible. Winick also never fleshed out all 42 of the trafficked children into nuanced characters with their own thoughts and feelings which was apparently neglectful lol.

In regards to utrh, Idk what this person read but there were more drug dealers Jason didn’t kill than those he did. Not once did he ever say he wanted to eliminate the flow of drugs in the community. He took over the trade. Not to mention he explicitly stated control vs elimination is where his goals differed from Bruce’s pipe dream hence why he’s successful and Bruce is still failing. Obviously if you completely misunderstand the character’s motivations you’ll find issues that don’t exist.

People just don’t want stories to be about what they are about, huh.