#who cares if i’ll take it badly! who cares if you feel unsafe around me! maybe there’s a reason i take so poorly to rejection | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toorusluvr · 3 years

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ CALIFORNIA: IWAIZUMI HAJIME.

characters: iwaizumi hajime x f!reader

cw: car sex, unprotected sex (please use protection if you hate kids), iwaizumi has a praising kink! mutual pining lol. if there's more let me know.

wc: 3k

crossposted on my ao3 🤍

The gush of the sudden heatwave was unbearable, you must admit. Stepping foot in California, a foreign country with no one to pick you up at the airport, felt awkward and scary at the same time. Your only goal was to visit your best friend, Iwaizumi, at the college he was studying at. Your plan was to give him a call once you arrived at the destination soon.

Taking a cab from the airport, the beach view came into your sight. The way your eyes shimmered at the beautiful view of people surfing and enjoying themselves at the beach was enough to tell that you actually had a great start being here. Iwa must have had an enjoyable time being here.. Is he homesick? It suddenly popped into your mind. He must be having a great time being in California. The weather’s great, and the scenery is pleasant.

The cab driver helped you with your luggage, though it wasn’t as handful as the other tourists, you still need help getting your big luggage out from the trunk. You heaved a deep sigh, breathless after dragging your luggage onto the concrete pathway. Without stalling your time, you searched for your phone in the pocket of your pants. Scrolling through your contacts, you finally found his contact number.

Within the first three rings, he picked up your call. His raspy voice greeting you the first thing. You heard he cleared his throat. “Hey, why are you calling me? Isn’t it like 11 in the morning there? Aren’t you supposed to be asleep, considering your fucked up sleeping schedule?” a laughter was followed after he nagged you.

You laughed, entertained by his own way of making fun of you. “If I was in Tokyo, then the answer is yes. But I am not in Tokyo, to be frankly speaking!” you were hoping he would catch on to what you were saying. Your presence here was to surprise him, after all!

Iwaizumi had just finished training at the local gym. He wiped the beads of sweats forming on his forehead with the towel hanging around his neck. He glanced over the clock on the wall, 6:15 p.m. Don’t tell me that you are here? he thought. “What are you on, Y/N? Are you talking in your sleep right now?”

This guy, you grunted softly. He caught on but he was afraid if his instinct was not telling him the right thing. “What a dumbass. I’m here in California, you idiot. Come and pick me up at your college! I don’t know your home address for God’s sake!” you burst out. The heat was killing you and please God, can he be quick to pick you up?

He deadass laughed at you. “Are you for real? Oh my goodness! Aight, just give me 10 minutes! I just finished working out. Stay where you are, I am coming to get you!” Iwaizumi rushed to take a quick shower in the shower room. He has to look and smell nice before meeting you. Of course, he would.

“Make it 5, Hajime. I swear to God!” you said, lowkey threatening him. You looked like you were stranded in front of his college with your luggage beside you. Standing awkwardly while the passersby looking at you up and down with a questionable look on their faces.

His sinister laughter made you unknowingly clenched your thighs together. “I swear I’ll be quick. Just stay where you are! Don’t follow any strangers!”

Being the petty friend you are, you counted how long it took for Iwaizumi Hajime to come and get you. He took exactly 7 minutes and 39 seconds to come to your rescue. The matte black range rover parked in front you. Iwaizumi got out of the driver’s seat hurriedly. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me you were coming, dumbass?” he ruffled your hair. Trying to look good for him ended up being ruined by the person himself.

You rolled your eyes, “Obviously, it’s a surprise visit! Can’t you tell them apart or what?” you laughed, unable to hold your laughter any longer. “Nice car, by the way!”

“It's not mine. I had to borrow it from a friend to pick you up” Iwaizumi told, taking in your luggage into the trunk. He opened the passenger’s seat door for you -- his hand rested on the windshield, ensuring your head to be safe. You mumbled a soft thank you before he got to the driver’s seat.

“Where are you staying, by the way? It's dangerous to be out there all alone. Or, aren’t you afraid?” he asked, his right hand turning the steering wheel to drive out of his campus area.

You hummed, “There's a hotel nearby here I booked. But, if you wanted to pay the expenses for me, it’d be nice!”

Both of you burst into laughter, knowing too well both of you are joking around and no hard feelings involved! “Since you are here, let’s go to In-N-Out that you’ve always talked about” Iwaizumi suggested, his eyes glanced over you in the passenger’s seat. You looked excited to try out the fast food franchise you’ve been wanting to try.

It felt like old times, hanging out with your best friend even in a foreign country feels exactly the same. The skies were getting darker as time passed by. About half before 9, both of you headed to his friend’s car. Iwaizumi needed to send you off before midnight. It's unsafe for you to be alone, especially at this hour.

Sitting in the expensive car, both of you enjoyed talking about anything and everything. Time doesn’t seem to be passing by when both of you are together. How badly Iwaizumi wants you to be there for him every single day. He hesitated to ask you, but it’s now or never, Hajime.

“Uh, why did you come to visit me? Why not Oikawa?” he laughed, an uneasy feeling creeped into his heart. Did he make a mistake? He was just asking a question. There's no way you’ll be offended, right?

Shrugging off your nervousness, you covered it up with a lie. “Apparently, California is much cheaper than Argentina. So, I decided to visit you first before meeting Oikawa. Sounds like a genius idea, no?”

Great, now you looked like a pathetic liar. That doesn’t fascinate him, not even a bit. “Oh- that sounds like a great plan, by the way” he laughed. “You know, I am honored to be the first friend you visited!”

You smiled, trying to think of a sentence to reply. “Yeah, you should be.” Fidgeting with your fingers only made you look like a liar. You turned to look at him, both of you fell into an awkward somehow comfortable silence.

“I think I have fallen in love with you” Iwaizumi confessed. He paused for a moment, “No. Actually, I am in love with you.” He looked serious, yes he was. He had been waiting for this moment to come and it’s finally time to confess. It's about time to tell you the truth.

“Wh-what? Are you kidding or what?” you chuckled nervously. Between him and you, you’ve always thought it’ll be you who make the first move but your assumption was wrong.

“No, I am not kidding” he looked at you straight in the eyes.

Your fingers brushed over your face which is now slightly warmer than usual. You disclosed the gap between both of you, “What if I tell you I am in love with you too?”

Iwaizumi's lips formed into a smile. He didn’t know how to put his thoughts into words, but he was thankful for your presence. Closing the gap between both of you, he moved his hand to your face. His palm cupping your face and pressed his lips on your lips with a tender kiss. “Is this fine?”

With your eyes closed, you nodded confidently. You have always loved how considerate Iwaizumi is with others. “Yes, please.”

Both of you kissed for the first time ever. There was a taste of love instead of lust from two individuals who are looking for home in the right person. Brushing your lips with his thumb, he looked at you once again. “Do you want this? Are we taking things too fast?”

You chuckled softly, “It’s fine, Hajime. It's not like we don’t want this in the first place.” Your eyes looking into his green eyes, before a smile appeared on his face. He nodded, agreeing with what you said.

“Let’s get to the backseat” he whispered, nibbling on the sensitive spot under your ear while his hands caressing both sides of your face. You climbed to the backseat, adrenaline pumping in your system. Iwaizumi gently laid you on the leather seat, spreading your legs so he could be in between your legs.

He easily removed your thin top, unzipping your pants that it slid over your legs so easily. The sudden cold of the night sent shivers down to your spine. “Are you sure you’re fine with this?” he interrupted your thoughts. You held his face in your hands, “I will never regret this moment, Hajime. Trust me.”

You have convinced him to not hold himself back. He nibbled on your sensitive spot over and over again, leaving deep purple hickeys all over your beautiful neck. Clinging your legs onto his waist, you arched lewdly to his touch while your tongues clashing with each other.

Iwaizumi placed his hands on your bare thighs, brushing his fingers over your inner thighs crucially slow. You whimpered softly, your body kept on asking for him to give you more. Everything he has to offer. “Hajime, please. I need you” you begged. “Don’t hold yourself back, because I am not going to.”

Oh, how sweet you looked being under him with your glossy eyes, begging him for more. He would wreck you if it wasn’t for this cramped place. Pulling his shirt off of his toned body, he let you enjoyed seeing his defined abs and chest. “I guess I need to teach my princess one or two things about love, hm?”

You nodded your head, your voice caught up in your throat, unable to speak proper sentences. “Don’t worry, I’ll take a really good care of you. Because I love you” he whispered in your ears.

You tugged on the waistband of his briefs, the tent forming in his boxer couldn’t hide the size of his cock. You gulped, he is unlike the other guys you have dated. He is sweet and loving, sometimes aggressive. Is he aggressive while being intimate too? You wondered.

From the way he parted your legs apart, you knew he’s real good at this. Iwaizumi dragged his two digits on your slick folds, “You’re already wet, baby” he laughed. He looked at you and gave you an assuring smile before he ate you out like a starved man. His tongue laid flatly on your dripping pussy.

His licks made your back arched lewdly to his touch. Iwaizumi never thought the day he'd be making love with his own best friend has finally come. He's in love with you ever since you guys were in first year of high school. The years of mutual pining only made him crave your love even more.

“You’re doing so good for me” he said, smirking at you in a glance. Your fingers intertwined in his spiky black hair while he praised you endlessly. “You’re eager for me, aren’t you baby?” his raspy voice vibrated against your wet cunt.

“Please, Hajime” you whimpered. “I-i want you to fuck me, please.”

“Since you are doing so good for me, I guess I have to give my princess my cock, hm?” With a harsh thrust, a loud gasp filled the car. He gasped when your tight walls swallowed his cock. Using his thumb, he played with your clit as he rocked his hips slowly to build his pace.

You have never heard yourself let out a sinful moan like you did just now. You immediately threw your hand over your mouth to cover your moans. Your eyes rolled back when he pressed his thumb on your clit.

“No, baby let me hear you” Iwaizumi yanked your hand away. “I want to hear you screaming my name, because I am the only one who can make you feel good from now on, hm?” he grunted as he slammed his hips into you.

Your tears formed in your eyes, wrapping around his neck while kissing him deeply. He toyed with your clit while kissing you passionately, hips rocking slowly into you. “Ah- Hajime” you moaned in his mouth.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful” he grunted softly. "You’re doing so fucking good for me, princess. Taking my cock so well like this hm? Can you cum for me, baby?”

You nodded eagerly, “Pl-please. Make me cum, Hajime- ah!” your legs wrapped tightly around his waist when you felt your orgasm building up in your stomach. Iwaizumi bit his lips, continuing to grind against your g-spot as he eyed your fucked out face with your eyes rolled back and a single tear dropped down as you begged him to go harder.

“Fuck, you feel so- ah- good, Hajime” you cried out. “Please please please, I am so near!”

With the angle he's in right now, he managed to make you moan as if no one was there to hear. Iwaizumi was big, the tip of his cock bumping your cervix in every thrust, making your legs shaking badly and your lips quivering with pleasure and cries. It felt so fucking good, no one has ever fucked you this good. All the boys you dated were useless, never once making you cum.

Your cunt clenched tightly around his cock, telling him that you’re near. “Baby, come on cum for me” he dragged two of his fingers on your clit, flicking on it as he waited for your orgasm to break.

“Y-yes there! H-hajime, it feels so good!” you moaned, mixed with cries of pleasure. Your nails digging into his back muscle, leaving scratches all over his back.

“Here? Like this, baby?” he hummed through his teeth, flicking your clit over and over again until it made your whole body trembled. “Do you like that, hm?”

You nodded eagerly, words have flown out of your mind. Nothing can ever compare to his cock and the size of his fingers that could easily make you cum. Your throat felt dry from all the moaning and cries. You came around his cock, your cum dripping on his length.

“I need you to cum one more time, okay baby? You’re doing so good for me” iwaizumi caressed your hair gently. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips. You nodded, following his orders. He changed the angle of his thrust, pistoning his cock faster than he did before. His calloused hands playing with your hardened buds before taking one of them in his mouth and started sucking on it.

“Come on, baby” he grunted, biting his lips from cumming before you.

“I- I'm gonna- fuck!” you sobbed, it felt different than your first orgasm. Your legs trembled, “H-hajime please.”

“That's it, baby. Fuck, I'm cumming” he gritted through his teeth. “We can’t make a mess in here” he grunted softly. He looked at his cock being swallowed by your gummy walls. The mess that you made around his cock excited him.

“Fuck, just cum inside me, oh- shit” you sobbed, gripping onto his biceps as you came down from your high.

"Are you sure? Oh- fuuuck” you nodded, panting for air as he spilled his seed inside you with a deep grunt.

He laid on top of you for a moment, trying to catch his breath after spurting his thick cum inside of you. Iwaizumi kissed you on your forehead, “Let's stay like this for a moment. Can't afford messing up my friend’s seat, can’t we?” he laughed.

You chuckled, nodding your head. “Right. I have a tissue, Hajime. Don't you worry. But it’s in my luggage in the trunk.”

Iwaizumi giggled, sealing his lips with you sweetly while he tucked your hair behind your ear. “You did so good for me” he whispered in between the kisses. You giggled, “Yeah, as if we didn’t have sex in your friend’s backseat.”

He laughed, “He would have understand, right? Come on, let’s send you to your hotel it’s getting late.”

"Fuck, Y/N. I love you so much" he kissed you lovingly. You looked into his eyes trying to catch your breath. "I love you too, Hajime. Always have been."

#haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!! smut #iwaizumi smut #tw: unprotected #tw: praise kink #tw: car sex

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 3 years

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Illuminated, pt.2

Summary: Seeing an old friend isn’t always a happy occasion, but it can direct you to someone who undoubtedly makes your heart beat faster.

Warnings: talk of war and death, book spoilers

Part 1

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It felt strange to be walking the same halls she once revered. Y/N had barely grown at all since her time at Little Palace, if anything she'd claim she got shorter, but the walls didn't seem as intimidating as they used to.

Back then, she was just a clueless girl with dreams that turned into nightmares. The war had left deep wounds everywhere in Ravka and for that, Y/N would curse Alina Starkov's name until her dying breath.

Ravka trusted Alina to rescue them from the darkness, but she only expanded it. She fled from her responsibility and responded with force when General Kirigan asked for accountability.

Y/N was considered too young to be allowed in battle, sent away by the Darkling with children who have not yet mastered their particular branch of small science. Grisha a year older than her were given the chance to protect Ravka, something she wished she could have done.

If it were up to her, she'd have stood by him instead of hiding.

Y/N had always been quite capable of controlling her power. Whether it be fire, wind or water, she held a firm grasp over all three elements with an iron fist and a terrifyingly sharp mind. She had developed attacks no one else is capable of, the kind that made other Grisha wary of her ferocity.

Naturally, she assumed that was why General Kirigan had called on her. The last thing she expected was to have the General, her King, admire the abominable blue flames she wields.

"Y/N?" A breathless reminder of a voice she once knew had stopped her in her tracks.

Looking over her shoulder, Y/N's lips break into a wide smile at the sight of her old friend and confidant.

She didn't waste time, running toward the girl who had fiery hair Y/N always wanted to have too. Colliding with Genya, Y/N couldn't stop a laugh that escaped her as she wrapped her arms around her much taller friend.

“I. Can’t. Breathe!” Genya manages to say between shallow, strained breaths.

Chuckling, Y/N releases her from the death grip she calls a hug. She’s never been subtle in showing affection, or hate.

“I can’t believe it’s you!” Y/N exclaims, her attempt to quiet down failing before she even tries.

With a surprised smile set on her lips, Genya nods. “I didn’t realize you’d be at Little Palace.”

Faltering, Y/N licks her lips as her smile is erased. “You don’t seem too happy about that.”

“Little Palace isn’t exactly the safest place in Ravka anymore”, Genya musses.

Scoffing, Y/N furrows her eyebrows. “Alina made it unsafe.” Lifting her chin, Y/N continues, “The Darkling will protect us.”

Pursing her lips, Genya looks around carefully to ensure they’re alone. “That’s the problem. While he’s here, no one is safe.” Taking Y/N by the elbow, she pulls her aside toward the open window to help disguise their voices from any curious listeners. “Alina was our only hope of killing him.”

Ripping her arm away from Genya’s hold, Y/N narrows her eyes at the friend she once trusted more than anyone else in this world. When there was no hope, Genya put a smile on her face. Even when Y/N was losing herself, she had Genya to remind her of who she is.

She never doubted her friend, never questioned her loyalty or sanity. Until now.

“Genya, who did you fight alongside with?” Y/N asks sharply, her lips forming a thin line.

“You don’t know the entire story”, Genya tries but Y/N steps away as if she’d been burned.

The war had made warriors from children for no matter how they tried to protect their innocence, war leaves no one untouched. When Alina Starkov decided to turn her back on Grisha, Y/N and many others have been forced to grow up far too quickly. No silly crushes or petty arguments mattered for the blood had reached them once Alina slaughtered Botkin in front of them. It was the only taste of war Y/N had for she had killed for the first time on that day.

Alina is the reason she has blood on her hands.

“The story I do know is enough for me”, Y/N huffs as she shakes her head at Genya. “The fact our General did not kill you is proof of his generosity. Perhaps you should learn to appreciate him. Your precious Alina never showed such mercy.”

Turning her back on Genya, Y/N headed back. She didn’t want to explore the old corridors anymore, but to bathe and sleep. From tomorrow on, she’ll be working with Kirigan on her new ability and she didn’t want to display any reasons for him to distrust her.

She pauses as Genya speaks up.

“I wonder what will get you killed faster – your loyalty or stubbornness?”

Turning her head to the left, Y/N could see her old friend in her peripheral vision. “At least I’ll die for something I believe in. I’ll die for Ravka. Can you say the same?”

Fuming, Y/N tossed and turned in her bed. She turned the pillow to the colder side, she even tried turning her head on the opposite side of the headboard, but nothing could calm her mind or the itching to use her powers to blow off some steam.

The one part of herself she truly did connect with the Inferni was the temper she often got in trouble for. When Nina Zenik called her stupid, she burned off her eyebrows and Botkin forced her to wake up at the crack of dawn and do sprints for the next month as punishment. It’s probably the only time in her life she was truly in good form.

Grunting, she raised her legs and slammed them back on the mattress in frustration. Tossing the blanket off, she grabbed her blue kefta and left the room.

Her footsteps echo the halls as she all but runs out, straight into the foggy morning air outside. The cold pinches her skin, her lips trembling for a moment before she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip. Her breaths come in visible puffs of air as she wraps her arms around her middle while securing her hands under her armpits to stop herself from using her power that’s calling to her like the siren song calls sailors to their certain death.

Y/N always had the misfortune of wearing her heart on her sleeve with those she cares for. She also has a nasty tendency to either feel nothing or everything at once and when someone she loves turns out to be different than what she believed, it causes an uncontrollable explosion of emotion deep within.

“Is there a particular reason you’re outside at this ungodly hour?” A deep voice makes her gasp as she turns to look at the very person she most admires.

Raising her eyebrows, she nearly laughed as she realized the Darkling wore not his kefta, but the clothes he sleeps in. It’s loose clothing, black as his kefta and horse and yet it gives off a softness she did not realize a man as powerful as him could ever possess.

“I’d ask you the same, General”, she retorts with her eyebrows still raised as if she’s challenging him to come closer and make her stop ogling him.

For a moment, she thought he might turn away and leave as he stood there calmly. It feels as if he’s studying her, taking in every inch of her and committing it to memory. If it were any other man, Y/N would have spoken up or acted out to prevent the uncomfortable feeling of being watched so intimately, yet she didn’t want Kirigan to ever stop looking at her. If not for her fear of being too forward, she’d invite him closer.

As if he read her mind, Kirigan takes a step closer….and then another one. She can’t help but wonder what’s going through his mind.

What does he see when he looks at her?

How does she look in his eyes, because the way he’s looking at her now is taking her breath away?

He looks at her as if there is something worth looking at.

“Sometimes my mind turns on me”, he admits in a low, quiet tone that Y/N has to strain to hear him properly. “I’ve lived a long life and a longer one awaits me. My mind is full of ghosts that want retribution for what I did to them.”

Swallowing thickly, she straightens her back as she comes closer – close enough to feel his breath as it fans the hair at the top of her head.

“What did you do to them?”

The left corner of his lips twitches. “You’d think ill of me if I told you.”

Averting her gaze to his bare chest revealed by the wind as it pulled the fabric of his shirt, Y/N licks her lips. She argues with herself on her next move, wondering if it would be improper to touch the man who had been considered untouchable by everyone she ever met. Her fingers years to feel his skin under their tips, to slowly trail the jawline she wants to press her lips against.

Frowning softly, she bites her lower lip as she locks her eyes on his dark ones. Unlike many before her, she does not crumble under the weight of his heavy gaze. Her heart trembles as she reaches out and places her palm on his chest.

He didn’t expect her to touch him, tensing up. It’s surprising how warm her hand is, more so how inviting the warmth is. He’s hyper-aware of every breath he takes as his chest expands under her touch, hoping this incredibly brazen Grisha does not feel the way his heart jumps with the sudden surge of her bravery.

When he notices her lips move, he holds his breath as if the simple act of breathing could muffle her voice and make it harder for him to soak up the blind loyalty and love she holds for him.

“Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things. You’re not evil for choosing to protect yourself and your country. I could never think badly of you, General.”

It’s been a long time since he found someone so incredibly devoted to him and his cause, exhilarating him to the core. Alina had never truly believed in him for she always considered him wicked, but Y/N couldn’t be more different. Perhaps he’s right and this time it will work.

With someone trusting as Y/N is, he can’t possibly fail again.

Letting her hand fall, Y/N looks away as she realizes she crossed the line and his silence is the easiest way for him to inform her of it. Truth be told, she wondered who was the last woman who got to lay her hand on his chest.

Was it Alina?

There were rumors of the relationship Kirigan and Alina supposedly had and Y/N always felt a pang of jealousy upon hearing the girls talk. She never knew him, she never truly had him and she never will, but the idea someone else does brought her pain.

Perhaps her overthinking or the increasingly awkward silence prompted her temper to speak instead of her brain.

"Did you love her?" Y/N blurts out.

Her eyes widen as she realizes her thoughts have become vocal and in the presence of the very man she should be watching her mouth around.

"I apologize. It must be a difficult time to reminisce about." Maybe Nina was right – she is stupid!

"It is quite alright.” Darkling lets out an audibly heavy breath. “I did not love her, I trusted her. I trusted her enough to put all my hope for a better Ravka on her shoulders and she betrayed our country."

"No", she reaches out slowly, her hand finding its way to his as it gingerly grasps his fingers. "She betrayed you."

Smiling reluctantly, Kirigan finds himself wondering if he should embrace the fact Y/N seems to be a very touchy person or if he should set some boundaries. Despite the shiver that runs down his spine, he allows her hand to fully take his as he closes his fingers around hers.

"I should have seen it coming. I'm far too used to betrayal."

"I'd never do that", she pauses. "I'd never betray you. I'd never break your trust."

Her responses are quick, so innocent and naïve that he can’t help but feel guilty about every moment he spends near her. No one should send a doe eyed beauty into the clutches of a beast so easily, yet he has no desire to force her to leave.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

Smiling, her entire face lights up. It’s a true delight to witness so early in the morning after a long night of nightmares he faced.

“Do not worry, General. I have every intention on proving myself to you.”

Glancing at their hands, her smile widens. She spent years wishing for this and now that it’s happening she can’t seem to believe it’s real.

“The sun will come up soon”, he changes the topic.

Y/N fears he might leave and her hand would be back at her side as she watches his retreating figure, but when he speaks again her heart dances in her chest.

“Would you like to watch the sunrise with me?”

Inhaling sharply, she nods. “Very much so.”

Unfortunately for them, someone else couldn’t sleep that night and they had seen just enough for a terrible plan to be born.

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A/N - So, I’m definitely going to play with the books here and twist some things to fit the storyline I have in mind. There might be some spoilers, so read with caution. I debated on making more than a one shot for this and taking on some ideas I have for Darkling but also Nikolai, so I’m not sure how long this will be just yet.

Tags: @deceivedeer @evyiione @measshaw

Part 3

#the darkling x reader #the darkling #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #aleksander kirigan #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #shadown and bone

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itskateak · 3 years

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Okay so I’m working on I new piano piece (much to my teacher’s dismay because I’ve finished a total of 1 (one) piece in the two years I’ve been her student) and it’s Shinzou Wo Sasageyo (but dark and depressive) and it’s making me think about Levi head canons I have so

Levi Ackerman Headcanons (That No One Asked For)

Levi can play the piano. The brothel where his mother worked had one and he started trying to play when a woman started to teach him. Eventually, when Kenny took him in, a woman down the road offered to continue teaching him. He originally earned money by playing in bars and he became a regular at one. Thieves burned it down and no other bar had an opening. So, he turned to crime.

Speaking of crime: We know he was a thug. He stole things and didn’t hurt people when he could. BUT - he has NEVER killed someone. People have approached him with contracts of the sort and although they paid nicely, he refused to take them. Erwin’s contract was the first and even then he would kill him as a very last resort.

If he laughs hard enough, he snorts. And it’s adorable. Not the deep snorts. They’re higher pitched and happen when he breathes in. He didn’t even know that happened until Hanji made a really bad joke and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing.

TW: Sexual Assault/Harassment - Levi absolutely refuses to let anyone feel unsafe in their barracks. With every new wave of cadets, he tells them: “If something happens or you unsafe, come to me. I’ll deal with it. No one deserves to feel unsafe here.” It’s only happened once and it was to a man - who thought Levi wouldn’t believe him but he rolled up his sleeves and was out the door the second he said the guy’s name.

Levi sometimes bumps into cadets who can’t sleep when he’s still up. If they’re distressed, he gestures for them to follow and he makes them some tea and sits with them. If they want to talk, he’s willing to listen.

Eren and Levi actually have a good relationship. After the 57th, they bonded and talked a lot when they had time. Especially when Eren found Levi in a hallway, sitting on the floor, waiting for his ankle to stop hurting enough to walk. He sat down next to his captain and they talked. Eren helped him back to his room.

Levi is easily flustered, surprisingly enough. You just have to know the right way to do it. Call him beautiful/pretty and he’s blushing like a fool.

He reads and keeps every letter other cadets and citizens send him. He responds to each of them individually. He sits down twice a month and writes a batch in return. There’s a few he regularly corresponds with. Eren still has his returned letter from Levi.

Yan - the friend from the underground who Lobov brought above ground to treat his legs - lives in Wall Rose now and has a wife and kids. One is named after Levi. Levi visits occasionally when he can and checks in.

Levi. Cares. For. His. People. Erwin realized that their budget was badly managed and he gave Levi the opportunity to look at it. He managed everything perfectly and has been the budget manager for years. He listens to what people need. Someone needs a specific medicine because of a condition? He shifts things around to get that for them. Everyone has an iron deficiency from lack of meat? Shifts things to get food that can help.

If there’s no enough money in the budget to shift and reorganize, then he uses part of his own salary to substitute. At one point, he was only collecting $100 (roughly) of his $900 monthly salary. No one knows about it except Erwin.

Levi is bisexual. Fight me.

He’s also a switch. He’s submissive with men and dominant with women. Usually. Sometimes things shift depending on the partner.

He has his mother’s ring and is saving it for the right person. He hopes to marry eventually, but no promises.

I have a lot more but these are just a few :P most of my others relate to my OC - Kailani Wilde.

#rens headcanons #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #just to be seen fhdjdk #I needed to take a break from playing the same two measures

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bunchofstraydogs · 3 years

Text

Dazai Osamu in a relationship

Just a lil warning before you proceed: dis a chonky one, kay?

○

Depending on why Dazai is in a relationship affects how he will act with his partner.

If Dazai is curious about them, enough to enter the relationship,

it will last at best a handful of months, at worst about 2 weeks. Enough to get to know them, test them out in terms of reaction, values, honesty and morality, and get bored of them. Thus leading to him braking up with the person or, if he predicts that the person would react badly and cause a scene, get them to break up with him. But even that is dubious because i doubt Dazai would make the relationship official. He would probably just act as if they're dating, leading the partner to believe they actually are without having to verbally confirm anything, and then as soon as he loses interest, pulls a now-you-see-me-now-you-don't and disappears with little to no notice. Hey, he never said they were dating, he calls everyone Belladona, the fault is that person's for being delusional. Yes, he is an asshole, what did you expect of Dazai?

But if Dazai is in love?? Unrecognizable.

I will make a separate headcanon(? whatever these are I'm writing) on what i think a person should be like to sweep Dazai of his feet, but now i want to concentrate on what he would be like in such a relationship.

Is it possible for Dazai to fall in love? Absolutely. He loved Odasaku and Ango, perhaps not romantically, but he's definitely capable of love. People like him- aware of the world's cruelty, dealing with demons and guilt, roaming the world for the sole reason that they haven't died yet, hoping to find something worthwhile they can feel the need to be selfish about and call theirs; don't fall in love, they crash desperately. It takes a lot for them to feel those emotions, but when they do, they can never really let them go.

He would try to act as he usually does in public and try approaching the subject of his trepidation and disarray in many different ways. Distancing himself and going as far to actively avoid them would just come back and bite him in his boney ass. To effectively avoid someone, you need to know their schedule, hobbies, interests, habits, etc. And having learned that would just constantly remind him of them, they'd never leave his mind. He'd look on the clock, see the time and know that they'll be in that specific class because he knows their whole curriculum and class schedule/ at the grocery because they're surly out of their favourite snack/ doing black laundry and yes, he knows unnecessary details about them as well. After that disastrous failure, he comes back running and commences new ways to handle that person. These beta testings are for him as much as they are for them. Just how much and what exactly does he feel for that person, what buttons can he push and which ones he doesn't want to.

When i say Dazai in love would be unrecognizable, i mean it. Not superficially, where everyone can see it, but where it matters.

After doing his best to rail in the unfamiliar feelings under control, going as far as using some of Mori's techniques, the realization of the situation he's found himself in hits him hard.

He comes back as if nothing happened.

The deadpan that person gives him and a "Are you done with your bullshit or do you need some more time to brood about issues you made with yourself?" He doesn't even blink, "Oh, my Belladona! Does that mean you've missed me? Were you worried about me as well??"

All of this was said in your typical, Dazai maniac style, the only difference is that he actually wants an answer. He wants to hear the confirmation, in whatever form it may come- he can read between the lines and body language, just give him something to work with. He's desperate.

While the public Dazai persona won't change, his inner musings and his approach to the love interest will.

Osamu will, sometimes sneakily, usually not so subtly, immerse himself into their daily life. Get them accustomed and used to his presence. What this will do is cause a sense of familiar coexistence, that of people living together; make the person unconsciously continue to include him in their activities; learn to depend on him (not in a unhealthy, yandere way, but if their car brakes down or they're feelinh unsafe, Dazai will be the first person they feel the urge to call) because Dazai can be reliable and he will be reliable for that special person. He will also be the first person they share good news with as well, because if someone is always there for and with you, it's only natural.

Make no mistakes, Dazai is transparent only when he wants to be.

The reasons he does this is because 1) he wants to gauge their reaction to his great interest in them, 2) mask his subtle advances which are the most important part of integrating himself into their life, 3) to get that person in the position where he needs them to be for him to move on to the next phase of his plan.

Now, i may have said plan, but that's a somewhat loose term since what he'll do next depends on their reaction. He definitely has a rough outline of the whole thing in his head, but he's also adaptable and ready to react accordingly to whatever they may throw his way.

[I will be using l/i or LI for "love interest" bc I'm tired of writing that person or whatever, okay? Good.]

Once his l/i made effort to go out of their way for him or commit any type of love language, basically:

act of service- pay for his bills, massage his shoulders, buy crab based food or alchohol he really likes for their own fridge so that he can have it when he's over (often) even if they don't like those things especially then

words of affirmation- thank you Dazai, how was your sleep?, please take better care of yourself i can't help you if you're not making an effort

physical touch- ruffle his hair, lean on him when tired, hold his hand or wrist because it's crowded and it would be a pain to search for you Dazai

gift giving- "I noticed you were running out of bandages", "I bought you food, figured your lost case would forget to eat", "saw this mackerel, reminded me of you^^" "BELLADONA, NO >:("

quality time- spending nights with him because he has insomnia, playing games at the arcade, drive around town run from the cops

He would be overwhelmed. In the best way possible. He'd feel overwhelmingly good and pleasant and warm and worried.

He didn't feel like this, ever.

Not even with Odasaku and Ango. They were probably his first friends, but that's the thing. They didn't make his heart race, they didn't throw him into panic attacks, they didn't overwhelm him, they didn't keep him up at night because he couldn't get them out of his head or completely monopolise his mind during the day.

He gets panic attacks.

A lot of them, actually. Usually he can fake being fine, but sometimes he hyperventilates and can't breathe and all that he can smell is the blood on his hands and his chest is as hollow as l/i's eyes. He knows what can happen. They can and will be used against him. Hell, it could even be an accident. He is vulnerable just because they exist and he can't do shit about it.

He could do his thing: pull some strings, have them move to another country and never speak to each other ever again. He has the power, but he lacks the strength. He could do it, but he doesn't want to. His thumb won't press the numbers, his voice died out, his mind went blank.

The wind blows and it carries their scent with it. The bells ring and it's their laughter that resonates within. His bandages ruffle and it's the warmth of their touch he feels. He's dying, but he's not just ready yet to leave. Hopefully, Odasaku will patiently keep a seat for him.

That was what gave him away, actually.

That's when Ranpo realised, with zero doubt, that Dazai Osamu is in love.

Dazai could be going on and on about suicide.

Enter l/i.

"I found an amazing tree yesterday with really sturdy branches. I wanted to test them out today, but i promised l/i I'd go to the new bakery with them today and who would they go with if i die?? Unacceptable!"

Ranpo: "A new bakery? I'll happily take your place."

"UNACCEPTABLE!!"

With every panic attack he feels stranded on an island in the sea of death.

He's exhausted. For the first time he finally wants to escape alive. Then they walk in and the storm in the sea moves to his heart. And into his stomach and his hands and his knees.

"I'm here for you, Osamu. Everything is going to be fine."

His insomnia goes by a different name now.

It still keeps him up at night and makes him restless.

But this time, when he fills his nth glass of whiskey for the night, when the TV is muted and the trafic quiet, when he can hear their breathing beside him in their shared bed, he raises the glass to hope for the halcyon days.

●

Fucking finally. You think you're exhausted, you waste of bandages?? I have a final today I'm going to fail and actually wrote about your musky ass. You try doing that with my brain.

Hope you guys like it and if you made it this far, here's a cup of ☕ or 🍵, whichever you prefer. I wrote him as i see and envision him. Hope it all makes sense. He's a complicated character, but he is still human and he is not immune to emotions.

Have a good one~☆

I will probably come up with more things for him, because i doubt i covered everything, but for now this shall do.

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu headcanons #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu in a relationship

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amberwild420 · 4 years

Text

one step back, two steps forward (pt. 1)

Masterlist

Paris, the city of love

Since the return of Lila the liar, Marinette has been feeling the downhill ride of the life at its fullest. Sure she threatened her to take away her friends and to make her life as miserable as possible but Marinette knew that there is no way that her friends who had known her longer can believe such ridiculous lies.

Well…….that’s what she thought.

She overestimated her friends or rather her ex-friends.

They not only left her behind, but she also become a bully, thief, a cheater and an overall bad person.

Like what?

Now not only is she alone sitting in the last but she has to be bullied and humiliated because apparently she is bullying and making fun of the sweet innocent Lila.

Like what?

And Adrien. Oh sweet naïve Adrian just let her keep quiet. He said he had her back but when she realized how coward and spineless he was, her crush on him was gone like wind. And to add insult to injury, she may or may not have accidently found out that he was also chat noir.

Like what?

And not to forget miss bustier. Oh sweet miss bustier, she seriously need to take lessons on how to deal with bullies or she should choose a better profession. Because if she preached about setting a good example one more time she will do something that future Marinette would regret.

And Alya her supposed best friend just left her as soon as her blog rating went up because of a certain liar. Well and that she has always been brash but became quite temperamental after Lila trapped her in her web of lies. She tried, he really tried but she had no chance. Nino and Kim who knew her from childhood took the word from a liar. And max. Oh the smart max who made an AI with emotions had believed that a napkin can gouge his eyes out even when he was wearing glasses.

Like what?!

Thankfully she didn’t had to deal with Chloe these days. Well she was rather quieter these days. Not talking or taunting to anyone. Well a good thing that came from all this. She didn’t think she could actually bear two ways trouble right now.

She had to deal with the akuma at 4 am and chat was nowhere as always. But she was thankful that he didn’t came. It was not like he was being helpful anyway.

Miss bustier was late and Lila was spinning another tale of her adventure. She wanted to tune out the chatter but the door opened and miss bustier walked in with a girl. She was wearing a pink crop top with blue jeans and white sneakers.

Pale skin, long black hair that framed her face and yellow green eyes that looked at them with such an intensity that Marinette felt her hand twitching towards her sketchpad. She had so many ideas all of the sudden, she need to jolt it down.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Class meet Kaylan. She will be joining us for the rest of the year. Make her feel welcomed.

Irritating and incompetent.

The only words that echoed her mind when she met her teacher. Caline Bustier has no control over class. Like how the hell she can tame students with this idealistic temperament. Kayla knew she was right when she entered the class. When her teacher turned to her expectedly, she decided to be polite and introduced herself.

My name is Kaylan fox. I moved from New York City recently. It’s nice to meet you.

It was just then a girl with sausage hair talking loudly.

Oh New York! It reminds me when I met Tylor swift last summer. She even gave me her new album with her autograph because she felt I deserve it when I accidently gave her the idea for her song.

Is she serious? That is just an outrageous claim. There’s no way anyone would believe that.

That’s so cool Lila.

Yeah! You have to give me all the deeds.

I wish I could meet her one time.

The hell? They actually believed that?!

Are you kidding? You’re actually believing that?

She couldn’t help but speak up. There is no way like no way anyone even the most stupid person could believe that.

The girl with sausage then suddenly burst into tears.

Why do you say that? Are you that jealous?

Excuse moi?

The effect was immediate. The class apart from the girl in the pig tails started consoling the girl.

How could you be so mean?

You made Lila cry.

You’re so horrible like that Mari trash.

Kaylan felt her eye twitching. Like what is actually going on? Did she cross the time space and came to a new universe that had people stupider than her expected level?

She looked at the teacher but was even more surprised when she was giving a look to the girl in the pigtails that said “stop them”.

So incompetent. So fucking incompetent!

The class glared at the new girl who dare to talk but shivered at her bone chilling return glare. Like hell she would let some brats push her around. She trained, tired herself to bones to be stronger than that scum, there is no way she can let some skinny kids take her down.

I actually don’t care about what people are talking about but I do care when they name drop the celebrities.

The silence broke when a dark skinned girl with glasses stood up showing her fiery temper.

How can you be so sure? Where is your proof?

Raising her eyebrow, Kaylan pulled her phone from the pocket and typed. Then she started reading out loud.

(it’s a fake news, I just winged it myself so no need to correct it. it’s fanfiction.)

Tylor Swift seen in Hawaii this summer. Many fans have been theorizing she may be here for her new album. But the claims haven’t stand corrected still since then haven’t seen anyone from our usual cast. It seems like that Tylor is on a vacation. Sorry fans.’

And this is the news article from the last year summer. You were saying.

She deadpanned at the girls who looked lost.

The sausage haired girl looked livid. With a cold smirk she leaned into the sausage haired girl.

Hon. You’re so fake that even china would deny they ever made you. But to have some people follow you, I’ll give that much of a credit.

Saying so she made her way to the last where the girl with pig tails was sitting. On the bench beside was a blond who looked at her from the corner of the eye but looked forward when miss bustier started her lesson, a bit flustered.

Hi! I’m Marinette. Class representative.

Kaylan.

I must say that was nice. You know, to see that someone can actually look through her lies.

You know she was lying and didn’t tell them?

Before she could stop, words pour out of her mouth. Marinette winced, so did she.

Sorry, that came out rude.

No it’s not a problem. They just don’t believe me at all.

I can see why.

Before they could talk anymore, miss Bustier interrupted them.

Kaylan, please focus in the class.

I do have my focus in the class. But it seems like you don’t, considering that the sausage hair and miss tabloid is still talking rather loudly and you just pointed me out instead.

A certain glint passed her eyes before a smirk made her way to her lips. The expression on her face made several people shiver.

We don’t want some extra nasty rumor spreading in the school about what happens in the class. Now do we.

The way Kaylan said that made many people shiver.

Marinette sighed in relief. she suddenly felt like having a safety amulet.

Marinette felt badly for thinking like this but from the time her friends had left her she felt unsafe all the time. So this was a good feeling.

maybe she should treat her with best pastries. she really had a good feeling about today.

Its definitely a good day.

#miraculous #daminette #maribat #Marinette needs a hug #ml salt #class salt #character development #original character #daminette got me hooked #let me write #i feel motivated

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amazinghazle · 3 years

Text

Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t being cute and ‘clingy’ and ‘adorably needy’. Being with (romantic or otherwise) someone with BPD isn’t akin to taking care of a pet. BPD isn’t an ‘aw it’s so endearing that they need me so badly’ type of thing.

BPD is a mental illness that is a conglomeration of several different tendencies and it’s not easy to diagnose. You don’t just decide you have it, just like you don’t decide you’re depressed because you had a bad day, or you don’t decide you’re bipolar because your mood changes quickly sometimes. Believe me, you don’t want it.

BPD is turning nothing into everything, is knowing you’re being irrational and not being able to stop regardless, is suppressing breakdowns for fear of being abusive or of manipulating the person you’re talking to into having to take care of you when they really don’t want to.It’s thinking someone doesn’t care about you anymore because they made a new friend. It’s automatically registering new people as a threat. It’s a fear of abandonment and rejection that’s damn near omnipresent. It’s being able to shift from ‘I love you so much!’ to ‘I don’t give a fuck, I hate you, I don’t even want to talk to you’ and back at the drop of a hat.It’s finding identity in a drastic hair change, and then feeling unsafe and desperately trying to fix it before you have to go out. It’s seeing someone you adore and trying to emulate them because you have no idea who you are. It’s waking up and trying to be a new person every day. Go vegan, go goth, go hipster, go glamour, cut your hair, change your makeup, gain weight, lose weight, and never feel quite there. Ever.It’s comprehending ‘love’ as ‘pity’ and wanting to rip yourself apart if their tone is all too casual when your friend or love interest is returning compliments or affection. It’s regretting saying anything about your mood and desperately trying to turn the conversation around while simultaneously NEEDING to get it out. It’s wanting to bleed yourself dry as opposed to cry in someone’s arms because, at least then, they don’t have to clean your wounds for you. They won’t hate you. They won’t be annoyed. It’s the constant battle, every time you get upset, of, “Is this worth being sad about? Is it worth talking about? What is more abusive, talking about this or hiding it? If I tell them I’ll bring them down and I’ll guilt trip them and they will resent me and it will all be my fault. If I don’t, I’m a disgusting liar, I’m manipulative, I’m untrustworthy.”It’s wondering if you’re faking your symptoms. It’s disassociating and feeling like a ghost for days. It’s feeling like you aren’t real, and then wishing you weren’t. It’s fear, a lack of self, and about a million different thoughts running through your head at all times. It’s trying to live for the people you love as opposed to yourself. It’s feeling suicidal and then feeling bad for feeling suicidal because, whoops, you’re being manipulative.

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ye0ncore · 4 years

Text

regret - jake shim <3

req by anon: can i request prompt list number 39, 41, 50 + jake, thankyou!!

note: thank you for the req anon 🥺 i’m back!! i missed writing a lot haha i couldn’t stay away for too long 🥺 i missed all my amazing readers too, you guys are the best <33

>> prompts: “are you avoiding me?” , “you’re breaking my heart.” , “i’m not leaving you alone like this.”

>> pairing: jake x female reader

>> rating and genre: g, pg if you don’t like angst,

>> warnings: angst, some strong language

>> word count: 1334

“y/n? are you okay in there,” you mother asked for the hundredth time that day. you appreciated her caring, but you just wanted to be left alone. there was only one person you wanted to talk to, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to. you missed him like crazy. he just up and left you, leaving you broken and confused.

he was moving away. and he told you in a text. if that wasn’t enough, he told you the day he was leaving. he told you in the same text in which he broke up with you in. it wasn’t even a paragraph telling you how much he would miss you and how much he loves you. it was only a few sentences, but it was enough to break your heart.

ever since, things had been going downhill. your grades dropped significantly. you quit your extra curricular activities. you almost never left your room, making your friends and family incredibly worried. they knew how much jake meant to you. he was your whole world, and to have it all ripped away from you, was the worst pain to experience.

your parents had done everything they could think of to help you. they took you out, made your favorite food, even had movie nights where the only things you guys would watch were your favorites. your friends did their best as well. but nothing they tried, seemed to even come close to bringing you out of the hole you were in. they knew the only thing that may help was jake, but that wasn’t going to happen. or so everyone thought.

a few days later at school, you walked in wearing the new normal for you. sweatpants and a hoodie. you walked to your locker, earning a few sympathetic looks from your friends. you walked to class, your eyes looking down the whole time. you sat in the back, and got on your phone, passing the time by with tiktok. a few gasps brought you out of your thought bubble, making you look up. you froze in your spot. it was jake, in the flesh. why was he back? he moved a few months ago, so why on earth was he here?

he looked around and when his eyes met yours, his face softened. you looked down at your phone, wanting so badly to disappear. you mentally cursed yourself for being somewhat excited, even after what he did. admittedly, you missed him so much. and seeing him just made it worse. and just your luck, the only seat left, was the one beside you. he took his seat, set his stuff down and got out his notebooks. he had always loved school. he loved learning something new, so he was always very excited to go to class.

it brought back a lot of memories that you didn’t want to think of. class began and you didn’t do much. you were on your phone during the entirety of class, not paying any attention to what your teacher was saying, confusing the hell out of jake. you weren’t like him in the way that he loved school. you hated it, but you would still do it. so why weren’t you doing it now? boy he was oblivious.

as soon as the bell rang, you stormed out of the room, ignoring his voice calling your name. you went to your next class and of course, he was there too. this time he was sat on the other side of the room, but you could feel his gaze on you.

it was like this the remainder of the day. you ran into him constantly, and he called out for you everytime. you had no interest in talking to him about what happened, so you continued to ignore him. however it’s jake shim. you can’t ignore him for forever.

you were walking to your car after school had let out, literally begging the gods that jake would not find you. however, clearly, luck was not on your side today, as you heard a familiar voice calling your name. you kept walking, hoping that he would get the memo and leave you alone. “are you avoiding me?” he kept calling your name, running up to you. he met you at your car, standing in front of the drivers side door, stopping you from getting in. “jake, move and let me in my car,” you hissed, your voice venomous.

he shook his head. “no, let me say this.” you crossed your arms and sighed, motioning for him to get on with it. “y/n, i am so so so sorry.” you stayed quiet, thinking there would be more for him to say, but he was silent after that.

“is that all you have to say to me?” your voice broke slightly, feeling your heart contract. after all he did, all he could say was he was sorry. no explanation. you waited a little longer, and he said nothing. scoffing, you pushed past him and opened your car door, putting your bags in your car.

“y/n, please. you’re breaking my heart.”

you immediately stood up straight and looked at him, anger written all over your face. “i’m breaking your heart? no. you broke mine. jake, you left me in a text message. you couldn’t even tell me that you were leaving until you were already gone. how do you think i felt? that fucking hurt jake. so don’t even try to tell me i’m breaking your heart, when you’re the one who broke mine.” jake stood still, hurt written all over his features.

you got back in your car and drove off, as your eyes began to water. seeing him again brought back a lot of old emotions and you couldn’t help the tears that formed. you tried to suck it up since you were driving and you didn’t want to drive while crying, knowing how unsafe that can be. you got home fairly quickly, walking inside and storming off to your room. you ignored your family’s calls after you, slamming your door shut.

the stress of the day was beginning to weigh on you, making you start to tear up again. you let yourself cry freely, letting out all of the emotions that showed back up today. you sat on your bed, knees tucked into your chest for a while, until someone knocked on your door. “come in,” you sniffled. your mom peeked in, and smiled at you sadly, already having found out about the days events.

“someone’s here to see you, y/n,” she said, sympathy laced into her voice. “can they come in?”

you didn’t put the pieces together, so you just nodded, not expecting it to be who it was. a few moments later jake walked in, a guilty look on his face. “jake, p-please go away,” you pleaded.

“no, y/n. i’m not leaving you alone like this. it’s my fault you’re like this. it’s my fault you’re so hurt, and i can’t even begin to tell you how sorry i am.” you went to talk but he cut you off.

“i didn’t tell you i was leaving because i didn’t want to hurt you. i kept it short because i thought it would make it easier on both of us. but looking back, all it did was hurt both of us even more. it was a mistake, and i’ll regret it for the rest of my life. but please y/n. you don’t have to take me back, i’m not expecting you to. but please, forgive me. please.” his voice was soft as he begged. his eyes started to water as he sat staring at you, waiting for your response.

“jake... i can’t forgive you just yet. i still need time. but i will try. i um... i missed you,” you confessed, your eyes on the ground.

“that’s okay, i completely understand. i missed you too. i’ll make it up to you, i promise.”

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one-abuse-survivor · 3 years

Note

This might be a weird question, but is it normal for one person to go off on/lecture the other over small things in a romantic relationship?

Yesterday, I was telling my dad that I wanted to dye my hair, and he told me he would ask my mom. Today, he told me that he asked her, and she “exploded like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.”

He said that she just went off on him, going on and on about why it was a terrible idea. She didn’t stop there, though. She went on to lecture him for one incident, days ago, where he had told me that I didn’t have to eat a fruit after dinner (I was not hungry, but my mom would not stop harassing me over it). She basically told him that it was all his fault that I was not eating fruit anymore (I was, for the record, still eating fruit; I just had no appetite, so I was “only” eating two or three fruits a day).

When I asked my dad about this, he said that all romantic partners have flaws, so even if he had not married her, someone else would have had different flaws, just like how both he and my mom had their own flaws.

But it seems to my that the way my mom acts is a little extreme—she lectures my dad and me very often, and she always invalidates both our emotions. Both of us have some issues with falling asleep, and she’s always lecturing us for not listening to her and trying whatever “technique” she has. The thing is, though, that she starts acting all annoyed when we don’t do exactly what she says, even if what she says only makes things worse. She’s had an interest in spirituality, which is fine, but then she starts scolding us for not going by whatever she says.

A while back, we all got COVID, and she started getting mad at him for something and talking about how she needs to express her feelings. When it’s him, though, he apparently needs to just “change” his anger. He needs to just stop being worried.

Sometimes, she will even get mad at me for something, not because I did anything wrong, but because she was in a bad mood, and my dad will agree with her. Later, though, when I ask him, he tells me that he doesn’t really agree; he just didn’t want her on his case. I can’t even blame him because I do the same thing (my mom badmouths my dad a lot to me, and me a lot to my dad, and gets mad if we don’t agree with her).

My dad even helps me keep secrets from her—not about big things, but about little things that we both know will set her off (we dared to eat ice cream; I bought a shirt WITH MY OWN MONEY that was not on sale; other small things).

He even got her a new car for her anniversary, complete with a red ribbon, and while she was super happy, she later started joking about how it was the wrong color. He did so much, and this is how she reacts?

Is the way my mom acts really such a normal thing in romantic relationships (or parent/child relationships, for that matter)? I’ve never been in romantic relationship, and my only other examples of romance are my aunt and uncle, who constant have screaming matches and passive aggression so obvious even I can pick up on it, and my grandparents, who were in an arranged marriage. I just don’t know who to ask.

Is it selfish if I don’t think I want to experience this? I hate my mom’s lecturing as is—sometimes it hurts bad enough to make me want to S/H. I don’t think I could take it from a romantic partner, to. Does this make me a bad person?

I don’t think that’s selfish at all, nonnie. You’re not a bad person for not wanting to put up with a potential partner who will treat you like this. In fact, I’d be concerned if you said you did want to experience something like this in a romantic relationship, because a lot of your mom’s behaviours are red flags of abuse, both toward you and your dad.

Constant lecturing and accusations, controlling and criticising everything your partner does to the point where they have to keep secrets from you to avoid your reaction, and “exploding” with minor or unimportant things and pretending like your emotions justify those explosions while also getting mad if your partner disagrees with you or expresses their emotions in any way, are all red flags of emotionally abusive behaviour. So is thinking that people should always do what you think is best for them, and getting mad when they don’t. So is badmouthing victims to one another and reacting badly if they don’t agree with you. Here’s a post I think might help better understand which of your mom’s behaviours are not okay toward either of you.

Now, regarding your doubts about what’s normal in a healthy relationship. There’s some truth in what youd dad said about all partners having flaws, although I don’t know if “flaws” is the word I’d personally use. We all have things going on in our lives; be it mental health issues, financial issues, disabilities, bad relationships with family members, or literally anything else a person can go through: questioning parts of their identity (sexuality, gender, religion...), struggling with studying and/or work, wanting to give up a bad habit... being nitpicky with food or thriving in messy spaces... There’s no such thing as a partner who won’t have something going on in their life. If you’re in a relationship there will be moments when your and their needs clash or are incompatible, and you won’t be able to be the person the other needs in that moment. And if you’re in a relationship, you’re going to have to face many of these battles together, and put effort into seeing them through as a team.

But there’s a difference between the commitment to someone else’s struggles that comes with any close (not necessarily romantic) relationship, and justifying your partner’s mistreatment toward you because “that’s just how everyone is in one way or another, so I might just as well settle for this.” That is, in fact, something many abuse victims say when their abusive partner has normalised and justified their behaviours over and over again.

I’ve been in a relationship for over six years now. That’s double the time I’ve been out of my abuser’s house and in recovery, so as you can imagine, my girlfriend has been very involved in this aspect of my life and has been there with me through many tough moments. And I’ve been there through her struggle with mental illness, too. And we were there for each other as we figured out part of our identities, and while we worried over exams, and a long list of things that have come up throughout the years and will continue to come up. And yeah, sometimes I feel really overwhelmed by the idea of cooking and she offers to do it for both of us to take care of me, and sometimes she hands me her money so I can pay for the things she wants to buy because she’s too overwhelmed to interact with strangers; and sometimes both of us are having an overwhelming day and we can’t help one another and it all sucks a bit more than usual. But we never demand that the other be there for us if the other can’t do that. We don’t demand that the other prioritise our needs to their own. And yeah, sometimes we can get angry because bad days exist and sometimes everything is too frustrating to handle; but when this happens, we just say, “hey, I’m angry/grumpy/frustrated/stressed out today, I need space or to be alone, please don’t touch me or talk to me for a while” and we establish boundaries and express our needs and emotions as openly as we can. Without being accusatory or demanding. Because you can be mad at someone, or having a bad day around someone, and still actively want to take steps to avoid hurting them. And someone can be mad at you, or having a terrible day around you, and still take steps to make you feel safe and respected.

And, nonnie, the bad days shouldn’t make you feel like you’re only staying with that person because “no one will treat me better than this”. You shouldn’t have to wonder whether the good moments make up for the bad ones, because the bad ones shouldn’t leave you feeling miserable and unsafe. You shouldn’t have to constantly worry about everything you say or do making your partner explode. It’s one thing to take your partner’s struggles and boundaries into consideration and do things that will help them feel better, and another to walk on eggshells around them for fear of their reactions. And if staying in your relationship feels like you’re “settling with one person’s flaws so you don’t have to deal with someone else’s equally bad flaws”, then chances are you’d be better off without that person in your life, because romantic relationships (which, by the way, are not a mandatory part of life whatsoever) should bring good things to your life, not feel like a task or a burden. And if they feel like that, it’s completely okay to break up, even if you have kids. Especially if you have kids that are suffering that abusive situation as well.

I hope some of this helps! If you have more questions I’ll be more than happy to answer them. Sending support your way ❤

#ask #abuse #abuse tw #abusive mother #abusive partner #abusive wife #abusive relationship #toxic relationship #self harm mention #verbal abuse tw #emotional abuse tw #covid mention #long post

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thegreatestofheck · 4 years

Text

Better ♠ Rafe Cameron ♠

request - hi! um this is oddly specific but i had this idea so... can you possibly do an imagine where rafe and the reader are dating and rafe is like super super sweet (and she makes him a better person🥺), but the reader is also jjs sister and he gets really mad when he finds out about the relationship bc he is really protective of her, but at a party or something a touron messes with the reader and rafe sticks up for her so jj starts to come around to the idea of their relationship

thank you so much for the request @abbyobx. It’s such a cute idea and I love it! Also, this is my second Rafe fic of the day and I can’t say I’m disappointed. I hope this lives up to your expectations!

word count - 5.3k warnings - mentions of suicide, mentions of violence and verbal abuse, there’s some almost assault depictions but it doesn’t go very far

~~~

You fell back against the bed, sweat beading across your forehead.

“Damn, Cameron,” you groaned. “You really know what makes a girl happy.”

Rafe Cameron stood in the doorway, a bowl of ice cream in his hands. With a smile, he walked over to you and sat by your side on his bed. You sat up, reaching out to take the bowl in his hands, but he moved it away. You narrowed your eyes at him as he took a large bite of the ice cream.

“You want some?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. You reached forward, bypassing the ice cream bowl to grab a fist full of his shirt and pull him closer to you. Rafe smiled, prepared for a kiss, but you stopped just a breath away from his lips.

“Give me that damn ice cream,” you whispered. He passed the bowl off to you, more concerned with your lips than teasing you any longer. You smiled and bit your lip, feeling the cool ice cream through the ceramic bowl. It was a welcome relief against the humidity that bore down on you.

You turned away from your boyfriend, gleefully putting a spoonful of chocolate ice cream into your mouth. Rafe leaned over and pressed his lips against your bare neck.

“Babe,” you whined. “It’s too hot.”

Despite your protesting, you titled your head to the side, exposing more of your skin. Rafe accepted the invitation, his teeth grazing against your neck. You lifted another bite of ice cream to your mouth, your eyes fluttering shut. He put his hand gently around your neck, pulling you in closer. Your stomach flipped and fluttered as he nipped at your skin.

“Were you trying to bribe me with ice cream?” You asked, blindly moving to set the bowl on the night stand.

“Maybe.” His warm breath made you dizzy. With the bowl out of your hands, you turned toward him, catching his lips in yours. The two of you both smiled. Your heart pounded, tugging him closer by his shirt. His thumb brushed against your neck, sending ripples of trembles through your body

There were two men who had ever wrapped their hands around your throat. The first was your dad. Luke Maybank was level A asshole and when he got angry, well, sometimes things got out of control. It wasn’t a memory you liked to call upon often.

But the second was Rafe Cameron. And it was completely different. He was always gentle and his hand was never there to control you or make you feel unsafe or hurt you. If anything, it made you feel a thousand times more safe and cared for.

“I have to go,” you murmured when he pulled away for a single breath of air. Instead of responding, Rafe kissed you again. He took your breath away, even when he wasn’t kissing you like a mad man. He tasted like the ice cream you had just been craving seconds ago, which now sat forgotten and melting on the night stand. With his one hand caressing your neck and his lips working against yours, you were puddy to his touch. You were melting almost as fast as the ice cream was.

He pulled gently on your lower lip with his teeth and that was a sure sign of what he wanted. You were more often willing to give him exactly what he wanted because it was what you wanted too.

You knew the role you played in getting him clean. It wasn’t something you boasted about because the work was all him, but you were there to lend a helping hand. You saw him on the days when withdrawal made him puke all over the floor, the days when he wanted to scream and rage and burn down the entire town, the days when he just wanted to cry, the days he wanted nothing more than to just die. You had been there through it all and now that he was free from it, you wanted to give him everything he asked for.

When he needed you like he did now, you had trouble walking away. Especially when the butterflies in your stomach were restless and you wanted him just as badly.

But, you were meeting with your brother to go surfing today and he would worry if you were late.

“I have to go,” you said again with a sigh. Rafe pulled away and let his hand fall against yours, a soft smile on his face. You watched his eyes carefully, knowing full well that he had the intention of asking you something. “What?”

Rafe dropped his head, letting out a heavy breath. When he looked back up at you, he wasn’t smiling.

“You still haven’t told him about us, have you?”

You grimaced, turning your face away from his. He gave your hand a small squeeze even as you looked away.

“Rafe....” You trailed off. Just imagining how your brother would react to you dating Rafe made you nervous. He wasn’t anything like your dad, but when he got angry, his explosions were just as dangerous. “JJ has never liked the idea of me being with anyone. If I tell him that we’re together-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Rafe sat back, laying himself flat against his bed. You fiddled with your fingers for moment.

You wanted to tell your brother. He was your best friend, your rock, your favorite person on the planet. And you didn’t want being with Rafe to come between that. There was a fear deep in your stomach that, if you told JJ about your relationship, you would drive a wedge between the two of you. But not telling him was putting pressure on your relationship with Rafe and that was something you couldn’t risk.

“I’ll tell him,” you said with a tone of finality. Rafe turned his head to look at you with his eyebrows raised. Throwing the blankets off of you and clambering off of Rafe’s enormous bed, you nodded your head. “I’ll tell him today.”

“Babe, you don’t have to,” he said, pushing himself up onto an elbow. “I know why you don’t.”

You shook your head as you pulled your jeans on, hopping back and forth on each leg.

“He deserves to know,” you said. “And you deserve better.”

Throwing a t-shirt on over your head, you walked around to the other side of the bed. You leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Rafe’s forehead.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at that party?” He asked, putting a hand on your arm. You smiled and gave a short nod.

“Wouldn’t miss it.” You turned toward his door, pulling your hair up into a ponytail.

“Call me!” He called after you. You trotted down the stairs, walking through the kitchen on your way out.

“Hey, Y/N!” a voice called to you from the dining table. You turned and smiled at Rafe’s younger sister.

“Hey, Wheez,” you said. “How’s your morning?”

“Good,” the girl replied with a smile. “Heading home?”

You shrugged and let out a sigh.

“Unfortunately.”

“Next time you come over, maybe we could play pool,” Wheezie said. You laughed.

“You’ll have to take that up with Rafe,” you said. Wheezie rolled her eyes and turned back to her cereal. “See ya, Wheez.”

“Bye!”

You walked toward your car, twirling your key ring around your finger, humming quietly to yourself. You passed Sarah on her way inside. Looking up, you saw John B’s van pulling out of the driveway. Sarah’s eyes were drooping, her hair a wild mess.

“Have fun last night, Sar?” You asked her with a laugh. She looked up at you, finally realizing you were there. She tried to smile, but she looked downright exhausted.

“Goodnight,” she mumbled, shuffling toward her front door. You laughed quietly to yourself before sliding into the front seat of your car.

Your smile didn’t fade even as you pulled up to your house. The stark contrast between the Cameron abode and your own was seared into your mind. You couldn’t help but think about it. No one wanted to live in a run down trailer park in the worst part of town. Yet, here you were.

You walked inside, a skip in your step.

“Where’ve you been?” Luke asked from the couch. His eyes were half closed, a beer bottle in his grip. Your smile fell at the sight of him, heart dropping into your stomach.

“I was out,” you said, one hand still on the door.

“No shit.”

“JJ in?” You asked him, not wanting to talk to your father about where exactly you were. If you thought telling JJ you were dating Rafe Cameron was bad, you couldn’t imagine the hell that Luke would put you through if he knew.

Luke grumbled and pointed toward the back of the house where JJ’s room was.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Knocking on JJ’s door, you poked your head inside. He scrambled to hide a joint behind his back, but you just rolled your eyes.

“You ready to go?” you asked him.

“Um, yeah, definitely. Let me just-” He rolled out of bed and threw on a new shirt. “Okay. Let’s go.”

By the time the two of you walked out to the living room, Luke was passed out. Both you and JJ pretended not to notice as you walked toward your car.

“So, where were you?” JJ asked as the two of you hopped into your car. You shrugged, shoving the key into the ignition.

“Friend’s house.”

“Which friend?”

“There’s no need for an interrogation.” You laughed, pulling out on to the road. But JJ raised his eyebrows, meaning he wasn’t going to drop it until you answered his question. “I was with Jen.”

“Jen?”

“Yes, Jen.”

JJ narrowed his eyes, clearly suspicious, but he settled into his seat and let you drive without any further questions. That is, until he took a longer look at your neck.

“What the hell are those?”

JJ’s raised voice startled you so badly, you nearly swerved off the road.

“What the hell, JJ?” You asked, correcting your car driving straight once again.

“Are those hickies?” JJ leaned closer, his eyes wide. You waved your hand in front of him, trying to bat him away before he could look any closer.

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m crazy?”

“Yes!”

“Y/N, I know a hickey when I see one! I deal them out on the daily.” You narrowed your eyes at your brother. “Who the hell is giving you hickies?”

“None of your damn business,” you grumbled, turning toward the beach.

“None of my-” He sounded baffled. “I thought we had a no secrets rule.”

“No, you have a no secrets rule with the Pogues,” you said with a little bit of a sneer.

“Jen’s house, huh?” He asked, glaring at you. “Listen, if you’re banging Jen, I don’t care, I just-”

You slammed your foot on the brake, pulling off the side of the road. You turned to look at JJ with an angry sigh. He met your eyes with just as much irritation and crossed his arms.

“I’m not banging Jen,” you said through your teeth. “I’ve been seeing someone.”

JJ scowled.

“Seeing? As in, more than once for a long period of time?”

“As in dating, JJ,” you said, your frustration starting to boil over. “I know that’s hard for you to comprehend since you have a commitment issue-”

“I don’t have a commitment issue.”

“When was the last time you kept a girl around for more than a week, huh?”

“Why are we talking about me now?” JJ leaned back against the door. “Who’s the guy? I swear, if you tell me it’s Pope-”

“Rafe.” His name came from your lips before you could hold them back.

Your heart froze in your chest as a coldness passed over JJ’s face. You knew that look. When JJ was angry, he got loud. When he was furious, he was dead silent. That was a hundred times worse. Arms still crossed, you watched every muscle in his body tense as he mulled over what you had just said. He looked at you with serpent like eyes, a gaze that you wanted to be as far away from as possible.

“What?”

“You heard me.” You didn’t want to say it again. You weren’t sure if you could.

In one fluid movement, JJ pulled the door open and jumped out.

“Get back in the car.” He started to walk away without even closing your door. Passive aggressive prick. “JJ, get back in the damn car!”

“No!” He kept walking. Cursing quietly to yourself, you shoved your door open and followed after him.

“Stop being a fucking baby and talk to me!” You yelled after him. He whirled around, his face tense with rage.

“You want to talk?” He asked. “Let’s talk. Let’s talk about the fact that you’re fucking Rafe Cameron, who, as you may remember, has been tormenting all of us for years.”

“We’re not....” You trailed off, crossing your arms to hide the fact that you were shaking.

“You’re not what? You’re not banging him?”

“No!” The memory of last night popped into your head and you felt your cheeks redden. “Well, yes, but that’s besides the point.”

“That’s exactly the point!” JJ threw a hand in the air. “He’s a dickhead, Y/N, you know that.”

“Yeah, he can be a prick sometimes, but he’s not that same guy you knew last year,” you tried but JJ just scoffed. “He’s changed.”

“Don’t tell me you actually believe that!” JJ narrowed his eyes. “You’re not safe with him.”

“You don’t get to tell me when and where and with whom I am safe, JJ,” you said, your voice shaking.

“He attacked Pope, Y/N!”

“Last year! And he apologized for it, sincerely. He’s not that guy anymore.”

JJ put his hands on his hips. When he looked back at you, you could tell that he wasn’t backing down.

“You really think he’s better?” You nodded your head vehemently at his question. But he just scoffed. “God, you’re so stupid.”

You went frigid and straightened your back, a sudden sting of tears pricking your eyes.

“What did you say?” Your voice was quiet, almost breathless. JJ’s anger faded quickly into shock and then regret.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean-”

“Yeah, you did.” Sucking in a deep breath of air through your nose, you turned your face away from your brother. “Call me when you want to have a civil conversation.”

You turned away from him before he could see a tear fall from your eye.

“Y/N, wait,” he called after you. “Damn it, I didn’t mean it!”

You slammed the passenger door shut before climbing back inside, slamming yours just as hard. You pulled back onto the road, not listening to your brother as he called after you.

Stupid. It was a school yard taunt, so trivial, so small. Everyone used it daily to describe any number of things. There was no reason it should make you so upset.

But it was the one word your dad always used when he wanted to hurt you. And JJ knew that.

Your hair looks stupid. Your friends are stupid. These are your grades? God, you’re so stupid. That’s why your mom left, she didn’t want to have to deal with your stupid ass. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

“Damn it!” You shouted, pounding a fist against the wheel in an attempt to get the memories to fade. You plucked your phone out of the cup holder and lifted it to your ear. But you didn’t know who to call. You always called JJ when you needed someone.

It took a lot to make you cry these days. You’d been desensitized to most things for a long time. But there were three things that still cut so deep that tears would flow whether you wanted them to or not; seeing your brother get hurt, listening to Rafe cry, and being called stupid.

It was more than just your dad. You never told JJ, but there were kids in your class that used to call you stupid. It had taken years for your teachers to realize that you weren’t exactly like the other kids and that there was a very real reason why you couldn’t read or write at the same level as everyone else. When you were moved into a Special Ed class during your third period, the word stupid was thrown around more than you would care to admit.

You couldn’t tell JJ because he would have literally fought the entire school if he knew. You knew he didn’t mean it, that he was just angry, but hearing that word come from his mouth hurt more than hearing it from your dad or the other students ever could.

By the time you could see past your tears, you found yourself back where you had started that morning. There was a spot left at the Cameron residence just for you and, without thinking, you had pulled right into it.

Still sniffling with a few stray tears running from your eyes, you walked up to the front door of the house. You couldn’t remember the last time you knocked, but now you felt like you had to.

Luckily, it was Rafe who opened the door. At the sight of your downcast eyes and your tears, he let out a heavy sigh.

“Can I come in?” You asked, voice weak.

“Didn’t go well with JJ, did it?” You gave your head a small shake. “Come here.”

Rafe reached forward and put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you toward him. Once in his arms, you were finally able to let out a steady breath. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head against his chest.

“He’ll come around,” Rafe whispered in your ear. “I am kinda the last guy anyone would want their sister dating.”

You pulled away from him, ignoring the fact that he was laughing quietly. Scowling, you put your hand on his face.

“Don’t say that,” you told him. He softened, leaning down to kiss you.

“Y/N!” An excited Wheezie called from behind Rafe. He turned around suddenly and you looked past him at his little sister. “You wanna play pool?”

You smiled, wiping the remainder of your tears away.

“I would love to.”

***

You let out a short breath. Rafe dropped his hand over yours as you stared out onto the beach.

“You don’t have to walk in with me. I can-”

“No,” you told Rafe, shaking your head from the passenger seat of his jeep. “No, I’m not scared of them or what they think. If they don’t accept you, they don’t accept me.”

You word was final. When you had this tone of voice, Rafe knew better than to argue.

“Okay.”

“Alright.” You nodded your head a few times. “I need a drink.”

You unbuckled and climbed out of his car. Rafe followed after you. You reached out to take his hand, but he flinched away.

“Now who’s embarrassed of who?” You teased.

Both you and Rafe had your full share of conversations about embarrassment. You were worried that his Kook friends wouldn’t accept you as a pogue. He was worried that all you friends would hate him because of his past actions. But it had been decided that it didn’t matter either way. If his friends didn’t like you, he didn’t want them. And if your friends didn’t accept him, you weren’t willing to hang out with people who despised growth or change. It was a mutual understanding, but Rafe still struggled to feel deserving.

He watched the party for a few moments, the same haunted look in his eyes that you had just a moment ago. But then he turned to you with a smile and reached out, lacing his fingers through yours. A grin spread across your face.

There were definitely a few stares from all three sides of the party as you walked up with Rafe. Even though you had been together for a few months, neither of you had officially come out and say “hey, yeah, we’re dating”, so for many, it came as a shock to see you holding hands.

The Kooks stared you down, especially the girls. Half of them had already slept with Rafe and the other half were still waiting to get their shot at him. The pogues watched Rafe with a steady glare as the two of you made your way for the keg. John B and Sarah, the only two who knew about your relationship, were there waiting with smiles.

“This is awkward,” John B said to you through his teeth as he handed you a cup. You raised your brows as you took a sip. “You told JJ.”

You nodded, swallowing the beer along with a lump in your throat.

“Yup.”

“He didn’t take it well.”

“Nope.”

John B sighed and gave Rafe a beer.

“He’ll get over it,” he assured you. “But you might want to talk to him.”

“I’ll talk to him once he stops acting like a fucking douche,” you said, taking another long drink.

“Valid.”

“Hey, babe?” Rafe said, his eyes drifting off. “I’ve got to go talk to some of my friends real quick. You’ll be good?”

You nodded and let go of his hand with a smile.

“Course. Have fun gossiping.”

He rolled his eyes at you and walked toward his small group of friends. You tried not to look at them, but you couldn’t help. As they glanced back at you, you felt yourself fidgeting.

“You wanna dance?” You asked Sarah. She nodded her head, eyes going wide.

“God, yes.”

By the time you stumbled off of the dance floor to grab another drink an hour later, Rafe was still talking to his friends. It made you nervous, but you pushed the feeling away. He was his own person and you were yours.

So you took your beer and walked over to where the tourons were all crowding together. You caught sight of your brother with an unfamiliar girl under each arm. They clung to his every word. You rolled your eyes and walked up to the first girl you came upon with a smile. In your experience, the tourons flocked together like sardines. All it took was a shark swimming right through to break them up and get them to let loose. That shark was usually you.

You chatted with the first girl for a few minutes, meeting a few of her friends. By the time you were finished with them, they were ready to mingle with some of the pogues. Turning to find your next target, you were startled when you found someone standing right behind you.

“Oh, hi!” You said with a laugh, looking up.

“Sorry about that,” the boy standing in front of you said. “Thought I could sneak past.”

You waved off his apology and gave him a smile.

“I’m Y/N,” you said, offering him a hand to shake. A lopsided grin grew on his face and you felt your stomach turn. You’d been with enough guys to read exactly was going on in his mind.

“Conner.”

“Well, Conner,” you said, pulling your hand away from his when he lingered for too long. “I’ve got to go find my boyfriend before he does something stupid.”

You tried to step around him, but he moved into your way. Your smile faltered and then fell.

“That guy you came in with?” He asked, his eyes raking your body. It had made you uncomfortable enough before you had a boyfriend, but the whole wandering eye thing was ten times worse now. “Doesn’t seem like a lot of people like him very much.”

“Yeah, well, I like him, so-”

“Come on,” Conner said, putting a hand on your shoulder. “You talked to those girl for a good while. Why don’t you give me a few minutes too?”

“Dude, back off,” a voice said. You turned around to find Pope standing behind you, his arms crossed. You grinned at the sight of your brother’s best friend. With Pope there and a few more eyes watching than before, Conner scoffed and turned to walk away from you.

“Thanks, Pope,” you said, letting out a sigh. “It’s definitely much appreciated.”

Pope bumped his shoulder against yours.

“Pogues watch out for Pogues, right?”

You smiled and nodded your head.

“Yeah, they do.” You looked up, feeling the need to be alone for a few minutes. “Hey, I’ve gotta run to my car real quick. Thank you again, really.”

“No problem, Y/N.” Pope gave you one last smile before walking over to where Kie was talking to a touron.

You breathed deeply a few times before starting the short journey back to Rafe’s jeep. Looking around, you lost sight of him and your stomach dropping. You trusted him not to fall back into his previous lifestyle, but that nervous feeling still wouldn’t go away. Besides, you really wanted a hug.

You were a few yards away from his car, mostly out of sight of the party, when you felt someone grab you from behind. There was no time to react before you were slammed up against a tree, a hand over your mouth.

And there was Conner, staring down at you, a horrible glint in his eye. You struggled against his grip, glaring daggers into his skull, but he was stronger than you were.

You really must be stupid to get yourself in this situation. Walking away from the group right after meeting this creep was probably the worst thing you could have done. You tried to lift your knee to kick him in the nads like JJ had taught you, but Conner pushed you back, making it impossible to move.

“You don’t get to say no to me,” he hissed in your ear. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. Maybe it was an adrenaline response, but it was the only thing that you could find to do to keep yourself from freaking out completely.

He was still trying to figure out how to move his hand without giving up his advantage or letting your mouth go when you heard your name being called.

JJ.

He was looking for you. He knew you weren’t where you were supposed to be. He would find you, you just had to give him time. Starting to struggle harder against Conner’s grip, you felt fear leave your system. Your brother was coming, you were going to be okay.

“Y/N!” From the anger in your brother’s voice, you knew he had found you. You resisted the urge to smile. But it wasn’t JJ who reached you first.

Conner was torn away from you and you heard him cry out as he hit the ground with a painful thud. You toppled to the ground, not prepared to have to stand on your own. Rafe stood there, towering over Conner, chest heaving with rage. You knew that if you didn’t take control of the situation, Rafe would murder the boy who cowered at his feet. You pushed yourself upward and ran to your boyfriend, jumping between him and Conner.

“It’s okay,” you said, putting a hand up.

“He attacked you!” Rafe shouted. You heard Conner whimper.

“I’m okay,” you told him, trying to smile. You took a step closer, watching Rafe’s muscles tense. “See? I’m okay.”

Rafe finally tore his cold hard gaze from Conner and looked at you. You gave him a small, reassuring smile and he softened instantly.

“God,” he breathed. He put a hand behind your neck and pulled you toward him, enveloping you in his arms. Your heart still pounded from the adrenaline, but you felt safe standing there in his arms. You heard Conner stagger to his feet and stumble away through the woods.

“Y/N?”

You pulled away from Rafe suddenly. Standing behind him was JJ. He was breathing heavily, glancing between you, Rafe, and the direction Conner had bolted. His eyes were wide. He must have seen everything that had just happened.

“I’m fine,” you told him, taking the smallest step away from Rafe. “Promise.”

JJ started toward you and for a moment you were afraid that he was going to yell at you again. But, when he reached you, he pulled you into a tight hug. You let out a strangled gasp of relief, embracing him back almost instantly.

“I’m sorry I called you stupid,” he whispered. “You’re not stupid.”

“It’s okay,” you whispered right back, holding him tighter. He pulled away from you, putting a hand on your face and looking into your eyes as if double checking to make sure you were really alright. Then he turned to Rafe and cleared his throat.

“Thanks, uh, thanks, man,” he said, giving Rafe a small nod. “Glad you were there to watch out for my sister.”

Rafe glanced at you and you smiled.

“Always,” he said and looked back at JJ.

“Do my mind if I steal her away for a moment?” JJ asked. You turned to look at your brother with an astonished look in your eye. Was that really JJ Maybank asking someone else for permission to do something?

“Who are you and what have you done with my brother?” You teased, a playful smile pulling at your lips. JJ rolled his eyes, still trying to look like the macho big brother, even if he was younger than you.

“I’ll be by the car,” Rafe told you and walked away.

Once he was gone, you and JJ fell silent. You plucked up the courage to speak first.

“JJ-”

“No, wait,” he said, holding up his hands. “I really think I need to say something.”

“Go ahead.”

“You’re your own person, Y/N. You can do what you want with whoever you want.”

“Thanks for the permission, J.”

“I just mean to say-” He dropped his hands onto your shoulders. “If you’re happy with him then it doesn’t matter how much I hate his guts. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

You felt a smug smile tug at your lips.

“That was so full of cheese.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. I’m trying to be supportive here.”

“Sorry, my bad.”

The two of you laughed for a few moments before you realized that JJ hadn’t finished what he wanted to say.

“Does he treat you like you had always hoped for?” He asked you, a serious tone in his voice.

“Better,” you replied, feeling yourself smile.

“Then he’s got my stamp of approval.”

You grinned and threw your arms around his neck. Clearly, you didn’t need his permission to date Rafe, you would do it anyway. But knowing that he was at least okay with you dating him was enough.

“But we’ve gotta have some ground rules,” JJ said and you rolled your eyes.

“Of course.”

“First, I don’t want to see you guys macking ever. And I mean ever. Two, he doesn’t come around the house. We gotta keep this as far from Dad as possible and I don’t want Rafe to find my stash. Third, if I ever hear even a word about what happens between you behind closed doors-”

“God, JJ, you were doing so well,” you groaned, shoving him backward lightly. “I agree to your rules.”

“Good. Now go on.” He nodded his head toward Rafe’s jeep. With a giddy laugh, you turned and started to run.

“Be safe!” JJ called after you. “Always use protection!”

You shot him the middle finger without looking back. Jumping into Rafe’s passenger seat, nothing was going to break the grin that was on your face.

“I take it that went well?” Rafe said. You turned toward him a pressed your lips to his. When you pulled back and settled into your seat, Rafe was still half in shock.

“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” You asked him. He smiled at you as you nearly bounced around in your seat.

“Hell yeah.”

663 notes · View notes

1a-imagines · 4 years

Text

An uncanny pair

Characters: wolf!Bakugo

Overview: After saving a dying wolf you made an unlikely friend, but how much will it cost you in the end?

Warnings: Mentions of blood.

A/n: i for real finished writing this whole thing and my brain was like. "Ok but, this concept would've been a better-" BUT I ALREAdY WROTE IT NOW U DUMBASS.

Smh

Anyway pls enjoy :>

"Don't you go too far into the woods, misses!" The old lady scolded you, she may be short but she also knew how intimidating. She was glaring at you with intense amber eyes, her lips pulled into a deep frown. You’d be a fool not to listen to her warning. Not to mention, you had seen her wrath first hand.

That poor thief… he did not see the old lady coming. You still recalled the day the thief entered her shop, with a shiver, he could never have known that this little old lady held immense power. You didn’t even understand why your town bothered knights and hunters, she seemed to be stronger than all of them combined.

“Yes Ma’am!” you saluted in a silly manner and the old lady hit your ankles with her cane. You let out a grunt and brought up your leg to rub the now red patch of skin on your foot with a frown. “At least you know how to show your elders some respect. Remember to be back before dark or else the whole town will panic and send out a search party. I don’t want to deal with that kind of headache.” The old lady continued to lecture you as you adjusted the bag by your side. You had to hold back the need to roll your eyes at her exaggeration, You didn’t even cause that much trouble!

“What would make you think that? I hold no importance here! Besides it’s only a 40 minute walk to the next town, I’ll be fine..” You shot back.

The town you were going to was much bigger than your own and therefore had a better range of supplies she only needed to buy some ingredients for dinner tonight. Her friends were coming to visit and she wanted to prepare something nice for them. “Perhaps not, but you’re friends with those two knights? Are you not? You know if you don't return before dark they’ll worry and bother all their fellow knight friends to go searching for you.”

You hummed at her reply, Izuku and Iida did tend to worry a bit too much. Uraraka would be sure to panic too. You recalled the first time they panicked and sent out a whole search party when you hadn’t returned before sunset. You had fallen down a small hill and twisted your ankle, so maybe you should feel lucky to have friends who cared about you so much? Otherwise, you would have been there for- who knows how long?

“I promise I’ll be back before dark, you don’t have to worry. I make this journey almost every week and nothing bad ever happens.” She reassured the little old lady who let out a sigh of exhaustion. “I’ll be holding you to that young lady- now run along.” She shooed you away and you smiled, sending her a wave.

You were thankful she took it upon herself to watch out and care for you. You lived alone in a cottage at the edge of town, You were very secluded and had no family to look out for you. That little old lady was the only person you had, and despite her slightly strict rules, and tough love, you appreciated and loved her as if she were your own grandmother.

You smiled as the edge of the forest came into view. There was something so great about being able to escape the town for a while and have some peace. Some might find it strange you enjoyed the forests so much, especially with all the monsters and danger that could be lurking about. Usually, monsters only came out at night, so you didn’t feel unsafe or anything, besides, you were pretty good at combat so you were confident you’d hold up well in a fight.

Still, most people preferred the comfort of the town. It had security, protection, there weren’t many things to worry about when in the town. There was food on your table and knights guarding your home to keep you safe.

But sometimes it got a bit suffocating. You liked to go on adventures, to feel free and see new things. Not to say you didn’t like your town. It was nice, everyone was like a big family, even if you lived alone you had many others who cared for you, who you could rely on. You felt pretty lucky to be a part of that town.

The forest was just a secret pleasure you liked escaping to every now and then.

You silently enjoyed your nature walk, keeping to the path as you indulge in the chirping of birds and the rustling of the trees. There was a gentle breeze, it was cool against your skin. Which was much appreciated since the sun was shining bright today.

It didn’t take much longer to get to the town.

Despite arriving early morning you ended up staying most of the day, looking around at all the expensive things you could only dream of buying, You greedily eyed down all of the delicious baked goods and foods the town had to offer, they made your stomach rumble and your mouth drool but you had only brought enough money for the ingredients you needed so you were left to silently drool.

Eventually, you tore yourself away from window shopping and gathered all the ingredients you needed for the dinner tonight.

You took one last stroll around the town, admiring how much bigger it was than your own, how the houses looked a lot more sturdy, how the streets were busy with people rushing around as if they have somewhere important to be. It was a completely different world to your own and you weren’t sure you would ever get used to it, no matter how many times you visited this place.

When you noticed the sun was getting closer to the mountain tops over the horizon you figured it was time to go home, you didn’t want to anger your granny by being late, especially not after her warnings.

As you walked back through the forest you noticed the air was a lot more chilly that this morning, there were no birds this time and the cold made you tighten your cloak around you. Nevertheless, you enjoyed the serenity all the same.

That was, until your peaceful walk was interrupted by a loud cry.

Not a human cry, but something else.

Your footsteps halted as you looked around for the source of the noise. You couldn’t see anything. It was silent for a while but you didn’t feel comfortable walking away, whatever it was, it sounded like it was in a lot of pain.

A few minutes later another cry sounded out and you were able to follow the general direction it was coming from. You followed the sound away from the footpath, your kind-hearted nature wouldn’t allow you to walk away, or maybe it was just curiosity? Either way, you went to investigate. You scanned through the trees until you eventually saw a patch of blood on the grass floor. Your lips parted as you gasped, the trail of blood led into a group of bushes. You bit your lip.

It seemed suspicious.

Luckily you had remembered your pocket knife. Your hand hovered over the knife on your belt as you followed the blood. You walked through the greenery, shuffling through the bushes, and on the other side found yourself at the bottom of a cliff, bushes surrounded the area keeping it closed off and a singular tree stood to the right.

You gasped again upon seeing a wolf under the tree. Its ash-blond fur was matted with spots of blood, it was laying on its side, panting, it’s eyes were shut so it mustn’t have noticed you yet.

It looked weak, clearly badly injured. You could tell the damage was coming from it’s, right, back leg. You could see the blood was still pouring out of the would and creating a pool under its body. Had it stepped into a trap? Hunters often set those so they could gather wolf pelts, though if that was the case he would still be trapped, right? Maybe it had gotten into a fight? Or maybe hunters had found it wandering about and attacked?

You shook your head.

Now was not the time to be pondering on the possibilities. The poor thing was in a lot of pain. If you didn’t stop the bleeding then it could die!

However, wolves are dangerous creatures… especially when they’re dying and in a lot of pain. You cautiously took a step forward but upon making your movement its red eyes shot open. They landed on you and you were met with a very threatening, warning growl. Even if you knew there was no way it was in any condition to get up and attack you, it’s deep growl made your heart jump into your throat. Your hands began to shake but you forced yourself to calm down. You stopped walking forward and held up your hands to show you were of no threat. “It’s ok... I just want to help.”

‘Why am I speaking to a wolf like it can understand me?’ you sighed at your idiocy but to your surprise; the growling stopped.

Those piercing red eyes stayed on you, cutting into your soul with a deadly glare. The poor thing looked so weak and yet it was still trying to be threatening. Obviously it did not trust you. You noticed its eyes moved down to your belt and upon seeing your knife it growled again. You unclipped it from your belt and did the stupidest thing you’ve probably done in your whole life.

You threw it away, out of reach.

The wolf’s hardened gaze was still fixated on you but it noticeably relaxed a little seeing you unarmed now. You slowly approached and with no more growling or warnings from the wolf you kneeled down beside it.

The closer you got the more you could see just how hurt it was. Maybe it was a fight after all?

The wound was deep but it wasn’t in a vital area, which made this a lot easier on you. All you had to do was clean it and bandage it up. It looked like a stab wound, maybe it was hunters after all?

You leaned over and reached into your bag, grabbing the flask of water you carried with you. You realised you didn’t have any spare cloth and sighed. You took off your cloak and gently poured some water from your flask onto a corner part of it. You could still feel the wolf's intense gaze on you, watching to see what you were doing. It made you gulp, knowing that if you made any wrong move it would without a doubt attack you. You were close enough for it to take a good chunk out of your arm now.

You turned to meet it’s red eyes. “This will hurt a bit, I’m going to clean it, please don’t kill me-” You pleaded, not sure if it would lash out at you for causing it more pain by touching its wound- even if you were just trying to help it might not understand that.

You turned to the wound, it seemed to be the only wound it had, it looked really dirty, if you didn’t do this it would get infected.

You swallowed your fear and lightly pressed the cloth onto the wound.

The wolf growled at the pain after feeling the pressure onto its open wound. You waited until it relaxed a bit and pressed the cloth down again, only applying a gentle pressure as you to get rid of all the dirt, trying not to hurt it more. You were surprised it was being so obedient. It wasn’t making any moves to attack you, it just lay there, glaring at you and letting out the odd sigh or growl of pain. Maybe it realised that you were no threat after all?

Once you were satisfied that the wound was clean and wouldn’t get infected you realised you’d have to use something to bandage it with so it didn’t keep losing blood. You looked down at your cloak, part of it already bloodied, and sighed.

You began to rip up the fabric, for once you felt glad that you were poor and unable to afford fancy, non-flimsy materials, it made ripping it up a lot easier on you.

You ripped up the non dirty corner of your cloak and cautiously wrapped the fabric around it’s leg, making sure it was tight enough to hold the blood in. You sat back on your knees, taking in how the wolf lay there, still unable to stand.

You pressed your lips in a thin line. There was no way it would be able to walk back to it’s pack in this condition.

Your eyes lit up as you remembered the food you had bought from town. You reached back over for the bag and pulled out some raw meat you had intended to cook up for the dinner but- well... This was more important. You unwrapped the meat from the bag, and the wolf's nose twitched at the smell of food. It looked over to you, its eyes no longer glaring but rather staring at the food with a longing look. It must be starving.

You chuckled at its expression and placed the meat down next to its head. “Here you go, you can have it.” you smiled and watched as the wolf greedily ate up your offering of food. As it ate the raw meat you reached back for the flask of water. You had no bowl to put it in for the wolf to drink up so you decided you’d have to help hydrate it yourself. This would help give it the strength it needed to get back home.

After it finished devouring the meat you held up the flask. “It’s water, you lost a lot of blood so you need to drink it all up!” You told it, the wolf huffed but in its weak state it could only comply. You slowly poured the water down and it lapped up whatever it could. Once it emptied you placed everything back into your bag, even your ruiner coak which you would have to throw away now.

You got comfy, you didn’t want to leave it here alone in case something came out and took advantage of it’s weakened state.

You had to admit, you were a bit prideful of yourself. Seeing that the wolf was already looking much better than when you had found it made you feel really good. You were actually able to help save its life and it made your heart swell with joy.

Now that the worry of the wolf bleeding out and dying had gone the situation had become a lot clearer to you. You were actually sitting in front of a wolf, feeding it, taking care of it- they were one of the most aggressive creatures around these forests- Well at least to humans. Not that you could blame them, hunters often tried killing and capturing them, so of course they’d want to attack humans, they probably had no trust in your kind.

Oh boy, if your town could see you now they’d call you crazy for approaching a wolf. In fact, if they saw the wolf here they’d no doubt capture and kill it. You didn’t agree with that mindset, maybe it made you weak but you’d rather be weak than be a monster. You found wolves to be wonderful creatures, from what you knew they were very intelligent and loyal animals. You didn’t want to harm them, in fact, you always liked the idea of having a pet wolf.

You were lost in thought for so long you barely even realised when the wolf began slowly pushing itself up, wobbling in the process since it could only use three of its legs. When you noticed it limping away towards the bushes it had no doubt came from you shot up from the ground. “Wait! You’re still hurt, you should rest-” A growl cut you off, the wolves eyes glaring at you as if you had just threatened it. You tensed up for a second, you thought it might attack you but when it turned around and limped away again you sighed in relief.

“Get home safe!” You smiled, you knew it heard you as its ear twitched at your words but it didn’t stop to look back at you and eventually it disappeared into the trees.

You looked back at the puddle of blood it had left behind and exhaled through your nose.

Being near a wolf for more than 5 seconds and not dying? You were probably the first and only human to achieve that.

-----

Despite the lack of meat in the dish the dinner with your friends had gone pretty well. Luckily you had bought all those herbs and spices, it really helped to keep it from being too bland. Not to mention spending quality time with those three was always a treat!

Luckily You had managed to make it back before the moon showed up, which meant you had avoided any and all lectures from the townspeople.

Last night when you had returned home you noticed that some blood had gotten onto your clothes from when you were tending to the wolf, you were lucky enough that no one had seen you come back from your trip, or else they would have most definitely questioned why you had blood stains all over you.

Currently, you were on your way to the creeks to wash the stains out. You had made sure to keep out of sight again to avoid any suspicion. When you eventually got to the lake you knelt down beside the water, rolling up your sleeves and began cleaning your dirty clothes. Even with the use of soap, the stains were taking a long time to rub out. Then again, you had never gotten blood stains on your clothes. Maybe you’d have to throw these out? Maybe you just needed to let them soak in the water for a while?

You sighed, your arms aching from the gruelling task. You really didn’t want to throw these out! The thought of having to save up and buy new clothes only made you scrub harder. Especially when there was nothing wrong with these ones- well, minus the blood stains.

You were so busy wrestling with the stains and grumbling to yourself that you didn’t notice the figure approaching you.

You heard a huff come from behind you and whipped around in fright, though that soon disappeared when your eyes landed on the wolf from yesterday, it was sitting directly behind you, red eyes staring into your own with annoyance. Its leg was miraculously all healed up, not even a scar was left in its wake. Which seemed impossible to you but you were glad it was doing better.

“Oh, it’s you again. What are you doing here? Isn’t it dangerous to be so close to a town full of humans?” You questioned, and the wolf trudged forward, you noticed it had something in its mouth. The wolf placed the cloth from your cloak onto the ground in front of you, the same cloth you had torn up and used to stop the bleeding on its leg yesterday. It sat back again and watched your reaction.

You breathed out in awe, it was almost like the wolf was trying to show you gratitude. Either it was a very smart wolf or…

You picked up the cloth, it was coated in bloodstains, of course, you had no use for these anymore, they were ruined and you had already thrown that cloak away but the gesture was enough to make these ruined rags hold so much meaning. Your hand clenched around the material and you smiled softly, it was incredible it had come back just for this. You had been sure you’d never see the wolf again. “Thank you.”

You finally spoke and the wolf turned its head away with a huff. Wolves were a very prideful bunch from what little you knew about them, so it was no doubt that this had probably taken a lot for him to do. To swallow his pride and come thank the human who had saved his life.

You turned back to your clothes and the wolf came and sat beside you, watching you as you cleaned. You felt powerful to have a wolf obediently sitting by your side, not that'd you admit it outloud, but you had always wanted a pet. “Are you sure you should stay here… it’s dangerous for your kind.” You spoke, glancing over at the wolf in time to see him growl in protest.

Looks like he was staying for a while.

You smiled and happily sat in silence with the wolf. You took note of the way it’s tail slightly swayed behind it. You giggled at the sign of contentment from it. Had you really created a bond with a wolf of all things? It seemed so far fetched and yet here you were.

Your eyes widened as you recalled your previous thoughts about the wolf. Curiosity got the better of you and without thinking you blurted out. “Are you a werewolf?”

The wolf tensed for a split second, but it's shock was soon replaced with a glare at you. You didn’t feel very threatened, it didn’t seem like it was going to hurt you or that it was really mad at you for your question.

You held up your hands, in the same way, you had done when you first encountered the injured wolf. “I-I Don’t mind if you are!!” You defended yourself, though it didn’t seem to believe you.

Humans were known for holding a deep hatred for werewolves. Though the way you were looking at him told him that you were being honest with him. You had also saved his life yesterday so he really had no reason not to believe you.

He sighed through his nose.

Your eyes widened as the fur on its body began to disappear, its features slowly becoming more human-like, though his ears, tail and teeth stayed the same. Luckily when he transformed he was wearing clothes. You might have died on the spot if he had been naked.

“You’re smarter than you look.” He grumbled, he looked slightly irritated as you stared at him in awe. Meeting a wolf was one thing but a werewolf!? You had only ever heard of them! Honestly? you were sure they were just myths! But now there was one sitting in front of you!

“Wow!” You gaped. Your eyes trailed up to his ears, they twitched atop of his head, his tail still absentmindedly swaying behind him. You suppressed a sequel, it was adorable- even with his piercing red eyes glaring at you.

He caught you gushing over his features and a grumble escaped his lips. As soon as he felt his cheeks heating up he turned his face away from you. "Dumbass human…" he grumbled under his breath, covering his embarrassment with annoyance. Why the hell did his cheeks suddenly feel so hot anyway!?

You sat back, scooching closer to him as your curiosity peaked, this was like a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet a werewolf. You were still taking it all in. You had to stop yourself from reaching up and petting his big fluffy ears!

“So- is your leg doing ok?” You tilted your head, though your eyes were currently following his swishing tail.

“Yeah, I got it healed when I returned back to my pack.” He told you, pausing for a second as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his green jacket. You wanted to ask how it healed so quickly? That should be impossible? Did wolves have some sort of sacred healing techniques or did their race naturally heal fast? Werewolves were said to be much stronger than humans, maybe their bodies were able to heal fast? You had so many questions but before you could ask them he spoke up again.

“Thank you..” He grumbled out, you could tell by his expression alone that this was hard for him to say. He looked annoyed, embarrassed, but mostly irritated. Wolves really were a prideful bunch after all. It must have been hard for him to have a human of all things see him in such a weak state let alone help him and then have to thank them in return.

This was actually the first time in his life he had tried so hard to swallow his pride. The reason being that, even if he didn’t want to admit it, you saved his life. If you hadn't shown up he would have no doubt died in that spot. So even if his ego was taking a hit, he still wanted to thank you. He hadn’t expected a human of all things to save his life. All night he had been thinking about you, you hadn’t changed his perspective on humans but you had changed his perspective on you.

When he first saw you he thought you were going to finish him off, but you proved him wrong.

“Don’t worry about it! I’d be a monster if I left you to die there.” You replied and he almost scoffed at you. You sounded so naive like you had no idea of what humans really did to his kind. “How did you get hurt in the first place?” You added.

“Humans.” Was his quick reply, but upon seeing your curious stare he sighed and added. “Hunters caught up with me, I was trying to gather food and the bastard came out of nowhere and one got a good hit on me with his sword. I managed to get away and hide, then you showed up.” He snarled, his eyes glaring at the lake.

The sudden change in mood scared you. He looked really pissed, but you knew that anger was not directed at you. It must have been pretty traumatic for him, he almost died all alone by a tree. It must have been scary to think he might die like that and never see his loved ones again. You assumed that his fear must have bundled up and turned into anger now that he's had a day to process the events.

“Oh.” You replied, you weren’t sure what to say. You were a human too, would he really take comfort from the same kind that had tried to kill him yesterday? “I’m sorry.”

“You should be, you also caused a shit ton of problems for me!” He muttered bitterly and your jaw dropped open. Why was he suddenly blaming you!? Was this really coming from the same guy who was just thanking you for saving his life a second ago!? “What!? I helped you!”

“Yeah, then I went back to the pack reeking of human and wearing a cloth that also reeked of human. I had to listen to a mouth full from my shitty old lady.” Despite his words his tone lacked any real bite to it, it seemed like he was just trying to blame you for something so he could get a slither of his pride back. You rolled your eyes and ignored the comment. “Whatever, I’m just glad you’re still alive.”

Your words must have knocked him speechless because he didn’t reply. He watched you as you went back to scrubbing your clothes.

How could a human be so nice? It went against everything he knew about humans, all he knew was that they were greedy, murderers, So how come you weren’t? His eyes turned into slits as he glared at the ground. He didn’t understand you and it pissed him off. The only reason you were alive right now was that you had saved his life. You confused him so much, you made him wonder if you were just doing all of this to gain something? You made no sense in his eyes and it made him want to punch the first tree he could find.

He didn’t like feeling so conflicted.

He heard you groaning as you vigorously rubbed at the material in your hands. He rolled his eyes. "Idiot!! All you're doing is rubbing the stains in more! That's not how you get blood out!"

"Well then how do you get blood out!? I've never had this problem before!" You snapped back and threw the clothes back into the water.

The wolf came up to you, looking over your shoulder to inspect the damage.

You felt your heart stop, he was so close. You could feel his breath against your skin, he was almost pressed right up against your back, he smelled like burnt firewood. It was nice, you smiled as red danced across your cheeks.

"They're ruined."

You snapped from your thoughts, feeling embarrassed indulging in the proximity. "Huh?"

"You're clothes, they're ruined. For good."

"Oh… really?" You pouted, looking down at them with longing eyes. It was one of your favoured outfits and now they were wrecked. "Yeah, you shouldn't have rubbed the blood stains."

You let out a sigh and sat back, giving up on the garments and staring out at the beautiful lake. It connected to the ocean and left a salty smell in the air. It sparkled under the sun, if you were alone right now you might have gone for a swim.

"The hell do you look so sad for?? Just have someone in your town make more." He said.

"Yeah but that costs money, and I don't have much money."

The wolf stared at you with a clueless look. "M..money?" He questioned and you turned your head to him, your lips parting in shock. Did he not know what money was?

"Yeah… you know.. you use it to pay for things? Like clothes and food. You give money in exchange for peoples goods and services."

The wolf stared at you like you had just sprouted another head. He blinked, he didn't understand the concept. You were suddenly curious as to how his society worked. "How do wolves pay for things?"

He scoffed." We don't! As a pack we all have our designated jobs, we help and look out for each other. The only thing we ask in return is loyalty."

You smiled at his reply. "That sounds kinda nice actually." The wolf sat down next to you again and there was a moment of silence as you both listened to the calming sounds of running water. It felt like you two were the only ones in the world, for a moment you felt like you had no worries. It was so peaceful

“How did you find me?” You suddenly asked, your eyes sparkling with curiosity. He scoffed at your stupid question. “Idiot, wolves can track scents. I had your clothes so I knew what you smelled like. It just followed it! I also figured you lived in a nearby town since you had a bag full of food and shit with you yesterday. You also weren’t equipped like a traveler so it wasn’t hard to guess.” he replied, though he sounded irritated he had to explain something so obvious to you. Maybe he didn’t realise that humans weren’t as good at tracking as wolves were?

You nodded, humming in reply, “Wolves have good tracking skills... I don’t really know much about werewolves. I’ve never even seen one since all the hunters chase them away from our towns and stuff. To be honest, I thought you guys were just a myth." You chuckled but stopped when you saw his lip pull back into a snarl. Maybe it wasn’t smart to talk about hunters around him, it seemed to anger him. Though.. A lot seemed to anger him.

At least you weren’t one of them.

"They don't chase us away! We just want nothing to do with your kind!!" He snarled and you raised an eyebrow at him. "Then how come you came back to see me?"

He tensed, his teeth clenching as his cheeks tinted red. "You're different! You saved my fucking life! And I-" you could feel the irritation rolling off of him, though you weren’t sure what was riling him up so much.

"You what?"

You heard him growl, it wasn’t aimed at you, you could tell that much since his eyes were focused on the lake in front of you two.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you." He admitted through gritted teeth. His hands clenching in frustration. "You're the first human I've met who I didn't want to rip apart. The first, stupid, niave, human who actually showed kindess. You helped me, you saved my fucking life and I hate that I wanted to see you again so badly, I hate that I couldn't stop myself from coming here." He exhaled through his nose, trying to calm himself down. "I hate that I'm curious about you enough to want to get to know you."

Your lips parted in shock. He looked so conflicted about not hating you. He wanted to hate you, but you were the reason he was still breathing right now so how could he? You could have finished him off, he was helpless in that moment. Yet you decided to save him? He can’t hate you, no matter what your race is.

"Well… for the record, I wanted to see you again too." You smiled at him and he turned to you, it was now his turn to be shocked. "I mean- it's not everyday you get to have your very own wolf friend." You laughed.

He grumbled, something about you being naive again but you chose to keep ignoring his insults. "Don't get used to it… if we keep hanging around each other someone’s going to get hurt. If your town finds out then those hunters will try to kill me," he smirked. "Or I'll kill them first. But either way, it’ll only end badly. So this is the last time we'll see each other."

Your eyebrows knitted together. "Who cares about them! Those hunters always ruin everything. I won’t let them ruin this too! They have no part of this and if they want to try to get involved then they'll have to go through me first!" You huffed, clenching your hands in front of you. The wolf was surprised to hear you speaking about your own kind with such a bitter voice. You really were a weird human, he had never met anyone like you. You seemed to like him over your own people? Or at least you were willing to choose him over them. You seemed to disagree with what they did. He never would have guessed a human like you could exist. Once he got over his initial shock a smirk settled onto his lips. “You’re not so bad… for a human.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh? Thanks.” You replied, not sure whether that was a compliment or an insult.

There was a small pause before the wolf beside you stood up. You panicked thinking he was going to leave but he walked towards the lake. “It’s too open here..”

“What?” You followed his suit and stood up.

He sighed in irritation before turning to you. “If you want to meet up again then it can’t be here. It’s too open.” A bright smile made its way to your face, your eyes lit up at the thought of being able to see him again and it made him grumble. You were way too happy over something so dumb...

“There’s always that forest spot we met in! It was pretty closed off! I don't think anyone would find us there.”

The wolf grinded his teeth together, It all felt so stupid. Why was he even agreeing to this! He was a wolf! You were a human! It felt so dumb to try and secretly meet up! For what reason were you two deciding to do this?! He only came to thank you so he could peacefully sleep at night without feeling guilty about not showing you gratitude, so he could keep his pride, so he could stop thinking of you every second of the damn day. Sure- it had only been one day since you saved him but he was quick to anger. Yet here he was, making plans to see you again, You, a human, a species he had grown up hating all his life. It was all so confusing to him, he didn’t understand why he was so drawn to you. But it pissed him off more than ever!

"Sure, whatever." So why was he still agreeing to all of this? Surely it was going to end badly, in fact there was no doubt it would.

"I'll bring food for you too! You said you were out hunting yesterday but you got hurt before you could find food right?" He did his best not to look at you, something about that stupid smile of yours made him feel funny. He didn't like it.

"Why the hell would you do that? I'm not weak you know! I can take care of myself!"

"Yeah, but is it so wrong to make sure my new friend is well fed? I can't imagine that hunting for food everyday is easy." You backfired and he shrugged. "It's not hard for me since I'm so good at it!"

"I'm still bringing food." You stood your ground, crossing your arms over your chest for extra emphasis that you weren't going to budge. The wolf groaned and threw his head back

"Whatever! Same time! Tomorrow! Don't be late cause I’m not going to wait for you!!" He yelled at you before turning and stomping off.

You ran after him, "Wait! I never got your name. My name is y/n! What's yours?"

His footsteps paused and he looked at you over his shoulder. "It's Bakugo."

#bnha x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha scenario #bnha headcanons #bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #mha imagines #mha scenario #mha scenarios #katsuki bakugo imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugo scenario #mha bakugo x reader #mha bakugo katsuki

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darkmystress00 · 3 years

Text

Baby Sitter’s Club - Ch 18

A/N: Hello again! I know it has been a while (though not as long as previously.) But I am *trying* to write the rest of this story as quickly as I can. I appreciate all the patience and understanding.

Trigger warnings: none that I can think of…

Pairing: Misha x Reader

Catch up here!

It was two days after telling West and Maison about your new relationship with Misha before they started to act differently. Nothing bad, thank goodness, but you noticed that they watched you and Misha more when all four of you were together. They would move seats at the table to have you and Misha sitting next to each other, or they asked for more activities that involved all four of you. The first time Misha had shown any overt affection in front of them had sent them into a fit of giggles.

All four of you had cuddled up on the couch to watch a movie. It was after the time you would normally leave, but you didn’t mind. The kids had begged you to stay and tuck them into bed after the movie. It was an easy ‘yes.’

You sat next to Misha, your legs curled up on the couch, with West between you and him, and Maison in his lap. You hadn’t noticed as Misha’s arm had gone up to rest along the back of the couch until it slunk to rest around your shoulders, pulling you in to rest your head on his shoulder. It was a simple gesture and you smiled at how easy it was. You were also surprised at how comfortable you were with it in front of the kids (not that it was a huge display, but it was more than you’d ever done before.) Oh sure, there had been kisses, more like pecks, here and there when you would arrive or before you would leave. A couple hugs had been thrown in the mix as well, but somehow the kids had either never noticed or been in another room.

West had let out a little giggle as you noticed him watching you and his dad cuddling. You’d resisted the urge to move away. Not because you disliked it or were uncomfortable, just because it was new. You weren’t used to it. You felt Misha’s fingers trail over your arm and shoulder in comforting caress and smiled as you relaxed and gave West a little wink.

The movie and gone quickly and as the credits rolled you noticed that both West and Maison were sound asleep in your laps. With a soft smile and a sigh you and Misha each picked up a sleeping body and carried them to their room.

“I should be heading home, it’s late.” You said softly as Misha closed the kids’ bedroom door. He looked up at you and you already knew what he was going to ask.

“You could stay?” He offered. You smiled at him.

“You have no idea how badly I want to say yes…”

“Then say yes.” He offered, his voice low and husky as he slid his hands around you to clasp behind your back.

“Misha, I can’t.” You stretched up to gently kiss his lips. “I want to, believe me, but I’m not at the comfort level of having a sleep over with the kids here.” He nodded and then rested his forehead against yours. “Soon, just give me a little more time.”

“Of course, Y/N.” He gently kissed the tip of your nose. “I’m not trying to push. It’s just hard when you leave. I like having you around. I like spending time with you.”

“I know. I like spending time with you.” Misha’s arms went slack around you before he reached out and took your hand and started walking for the door.

“Y/N, the kids asked to spend tomorrow night with Vic.” You looked at him, his eyes seeming to glitter at the idea currently bouncing around his head. “Would you want to come over and spend some time-just the two of us-after they leave?” It only took a heartbeat for your answer to come to your lips.

“Absolutely.” The smile that lit up Misha’s face made your heart jump in doubletime. He leaned down and kissed you, his warm lips sliding along yours, begging to taste you completely. You sucked his lip into your mouth, gently nibbling on it before soothing it with your tongue. Misha let out a growl and you stifled a giggle.

“I am ten seconds away from hauling you over my shoulder and carrying you to my room caveman-style.” He growled.

“Mmmm, promises.” You teased and he narrowed his eyes at you. “Alright, alright. I’ll be good.” He kissed you one last time before stepping back.

“I planned to take the kids to the park and then Vicki was going to pick them up from here just before lunch time.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, “If you wanted, you could come with us to the park and then just stay after they leave.”

“As much as I would love to go to the park with you guys, I have to go into the office tomorrow and submit travel receipts and do some routine eval papers.” You pouted a little. “I wont be able to get out of there until at least one, maybe two if my current job has left any negative reviews on my evaluation forms.” You grinned at him.

“Oh no.” He feigned concern. “I heard they left the worst review. Half a star. Terrible service. Late with the food. You name it.” You rolled your eyes and swatted his arm lightly.

“I can be here right after.” Your hopeful eyes met his. “Should I have an overnight bag packed?” The heat that filled his eyes threatened to burn you alive.

“Yes, although, I don’t know that you will actually be using anything inside it.”

“Mmm, promises, promises.” You breathed before stretching up to kiss him one last time. “Alright. I need to go before we get into a situation like the kitchen in Vancouver.” The memory of West almost catching you two was still very fresh and strong in your mind. Misha let out a groan but gently released you. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way over?”

“Sounds perfect.” He agreed with a nod.

“Alright, Mish. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” He rumbled as you stepped out the front door. You felt him watch you until you were safely in your car (not that his neighborhood was unsafe by any means.) The butterflies in your stomach calmed a touch as you turned the key in the ignition and made your way home.

~~~

“Hey, Sylv.” You said as you entered the front office. Your friend beamed up at you.

“Hey, Y/N! God it’s been forever!” She stood up and wrapped you in a big hug. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been great. Glad the traveling is done for at least right now.” She nodded.

“I can imagine. Must be nice to have some off time coming up. Got any plans?”

“Not really. Misha invited me to an award thing with the cast.” Sylvia’s face morphed a little and it made you pause. “What?”

“He invited you as like a friend?” She asked, a suspicious note in her voice. “Because it’s your off time and you’re not supposed to be working. And he signed that NDA and your privacy clause.”

“It wouldn’t be a working thing.” You answered truthfully.

“Is it like a date?” The tone of her voice made you pause. “Please say it’s not a date, Y/N.” When you didn’t answer she sucked in a breath and looked around to see if anyone was listening. “Y/N, I’m not going to rat on you, but if something is going on with Mr. Hot-Single-Dad-Collins, you need to keep it very quiet. It is an extreme breach in protocol to start anything romantic with a client, and you could get fired.” You blinked a few times letting everything sink in.

“So, theoretically,” you started and gave her a look that told her it definitely wasn’t theoretical at all, “if I were to start a romantic relationship with Misha, I would have to either quit working or keep it completely hidden?”

“Well, theoretically, you wouldn’t have to stop working, just stop working with him.” You gave her a very confused look not understanding.

“Why?”

“Because, again this is all theoretical, think about what that looks like...a woman is sleeping with someone who is paying her...what does that sound like?” Horror dawned on your face. “It may not be exactly like being a call girl, but it’s dangerous nonetheless. What is to stop a girl from entering a romantic relationship and then when things go sour she turns around and accuses him of pressuring her into it because he is paying her salary? What’s to stop clients from expecting that kind of added service.”

“But you know I’m not like that…”

“I know, but Y/N,” her voice dropped low so that only you could hear, “you need to be very careful. I wont say anything because I am your friend, but he is a public figure too. He’s got paparazzi around him all the time. If anything happens...keep it behind closed doors until you have decided to end your contract with him. If the higher ups hear about anything...it will cost you your job.” You nodded vigorously and she stared at you. “Does he make you happy?”

“Like you can’t imagine Sylvia.” You breathed. “He’s so good with his kids, and he treats me like I am his top priority. He’s always made me feel like I’m part of the family. He is so amazing and when I’m with him my stomach is filled with butterflies and my heart is in overtime.”

“Good. You deserve to be happy. I will do everything I can to field and screen social media and stories.”

“Thank you Sylv. You really are the best.” You hugged her again. “Alright, I gotta sit down for my eval paperwork and submit my last round of travel receipts. Do I go to the back conference room?”

“Yeah, Trish should be back there soon. She just got back from maternity last week.” You gave her a nod.

“Thank you Sylvia.” When she waved you off you caught her eye. “No, I mean it. Thank you.”

“Of course, Y/N. You deserve the best.” You smiled at her and she winked before you turned and made your way back to the conference room.

~~~

You sat in your car, in Misha’s driveway, staring at the little bag of clothes in your passenger seat. You were an adult, and knew very well what adults did, but staring at the little bag felt a touch like you were doing something naughty. It was taking your relationship to the next level and it was a heady moment. With one deep breath you grabbed the little bag and exited your car. Misha opened the door and smiled at you as you made your way up to the front door and you couldn’t help but smile back. “Hey,” you said as he watched you approach.

“Hey.” He leaned in to kiss you but you dodged. He cast you a confused and slightly hurt look before shutting the door. “Everything ok?”

“Uhm, yeah. Just got some news at my eval. Nothing to worry about though.” You answered before gently stretching up to give him the kiss he wanted. You felt his hands land on your hips before sliding up and around your back.

“Well, good. I have it on good authority that your employer left a glowing review.” He teased before kissing you and you smiled into the kiss.

“Since I’m amazing at my job I wouldn’t expect anything less.” He let out an agreeing noise before sealing your lips in another kiss. His tongue traced your lips before entering your mouth and tangling with your own. You melted into the kiss, your body going languid and hot in his arms. Somehow without you noticing he’d pressed you back a step or two and you felt the solid wood of his front door behind you. You could feel his hardness pressed against you and it sent a zing of excitement through you. You wanted him so bad.

One of his hands slid down your back to gently grab your thigh and haul it up over his hip, pressing his arousal right where you both wanted it most. You let out a whimper as he ground into you. His lips trailed away from your mouth, down your jaw to the spot where your neck met your shoulder. “I made a reservation for us at that little Italian restaurant down the way that you like.” he rumbled into your skin before nipping and kissing you again.

“Oh, Misha,” you panted, “that sounds…” you froze as his words penetrated the thick fog of want you were in. “Wait - no!” you cried. Misha jumped in your arms, freezing and looking at you. “We can’t go out in public.” you pleaded.

“What? Y/N, why?” Concern flicked over his face and you sighed.

“I learned something at my eval meeting today.” His hands gently fell away from you as the mood was thoroughly broken. You sighed. “Before you think anything crazy, I want you to know, I want to go out with you in public. I don’t want to hide this. I mean I’m nervous about what others are going to say, but I want this.” you grabbed his hand gently. “If we go public right now I will lose my job.” Misha jerked back and looked at you.

“What?” He stared at you completely and utterly confused. You let out another heavy sigh and tugged on his hand to move away from the door. You wanted to at least sit down while you explained. You sat on his couch and pulled him to sit next to you.

“So, Sylvia, my friend, and I were talking,” you started, “and she knows about ‘us.’ Or rather she knows you and I are leaning towards there being and ‘us.’” He gave a small, slow nod. “And she told me about a company policy that I’d never heard of before. I’d never considered company policy on the matter before, honestly. You’re the only...I’ve never...this isn’t…” you trailed off and watched as a smile touched his eyes, realizing you were admitting that you’d never developed feelings for or started a relationship with a client before. You were so cute when you were flustered. “Anyway, she told me that company policy is that if a nanny and a client are found in this sort of situation the nanny is fired. No warning. No second chances. Done, and basically blacklisted.” You took a steadying breath, “If we want to go public, we need to terminate our contract.”

“Ok,” he started slowly, “so we do that.” he said it so matter of factly it made you want to laugh.

“Misha, that means I wont be able to be here all the time. That means I wont be going to Vancouver with you anymore. I wont get to see and spend time with the kids, or you, like I do now.”

“Why not?”

“I still need to work.” Realization started to dawn in his eyes. “I don’t want to stop working, but if we’re in a relationship that means I can’t work for you. So I would have to be hired on as a nanny with another family, and while I can opt out of traveling, it would still take up a bunch of my time. We told West and Maison that nothing would change right away.” He paused to think about it.

“No, we need you here.” He agreed. “Couldn’t you leave the agency and just work for me while being with me?” Before the sentence even left his mouth he knew that wasn’t going to work.

“Misha, we are so new, and that is basically asking me to be your live-in girlfriend.” You gave him an awkward smile, “Actually it’s more like being a kept woman.” You shrugged a little, trying to keep your emotions in check. “Imagine if we don’t work out. I’m left with nothing. No job. No support. Nothing to fall back on.” A look of hurt crossed Misha’s face.

“You really don’t think we’re going to work out?” You touched his cheek, “Or that I’d leave you ass out like that if we didn’t?”

“No, I don’t think you’d do that.” You had to give him credit. He and Vicki had ended amicably and had made sure each other were taken care of so no one was hurting at the end. It wasn’t bitter, and you had no doubts he’d make sure you were steady on your own two feet rather than leave you out in the cold. “But I’m a planner. I have to plan for the worst and hope for the best. I jump to the worst case scenario so that I’m prepared for everything. It’s part of what makes me so good at my job.” He gave a nod and then let out a slow sigh.

“Alright. So we don’t go public right now.” You nodded. “But we are going to have to figure out what to do about this. I don’t want to have to hide forever.” You nodded again.

“I don’t either. I know it’s going to be an adjustment with you being famous, but I want that. I just have to figure out what to do with my job.” He nodded and then hugged you.

“Alright.” His hands came up to clasp your jaw in his palms and he looked into your eyes. “You’re right. We need to be smart about this. Slow and steady with the public stuff. When we’re both ready we’ll figure it out.” You smiled at him. “I just…” he let out a pent up breath. “I don’t know how to say this without sounding sappy, but you make me happy Y/N and I want to show that off to the world. It’s hard to pretend like there isn’t anything between us when we’re in public. But I will do my best to keep my hands to myself.” He grinned mischievously, “At least in public...at least for now.” You grinned back at him.

“Good.” He pulled you to him to kiss you.

“Well, since dinner plans are changing, lets go see what we have that we can make…” you both stood, “or,” he started his eyes trailing over your body, “we could order in and I could eat take out off your body in my bed.” A laugh escaped your throat. “You’re right, that’s a tad messy.” He wrinkled his nose. “Let’s go scour the kitchen then.”

~~~

Misha’s eyes watched you from across the room. No matter how many times he told you not to, there you were, standing at his sink loading his dishwasher while he packed away the leftovers from dinner. To say your earlier conversation had thrown him a curveball would have been an understatement, but honestly it was just enough of a wake up call to keep his head on straight. Yes you’d both decided to be more than just employer and nanny, but he did lead a very public life and you needed to ease into that. This little hiccup would help him to ease you into the public and see if it was something you even liked. If you decided you wanted to stay behind the scenes he’d gladly do that too, so long as he got to have you. Now that he let himself feel the feelings he’d been trying to push away and hide, he wasn’t going to let you get away.

He was telling the truth when he said you made him happy. Having you around made him feel things he hadn’t felt in a long time. You were easy going and everyone loved having you around. Just a look from you could have his heart thumping and his blood heating. Keeping his hands to himself was tough, but now did he really need to anymore?

With that thought he moved quickly and quietly behind you. As you straightened from loading the last dish into the dishwasher you felt Misha behind you and spun around to look at him. The heat and hunger in his eyes had your blood racing and without a second thought you stretched up to kiss him. Your lips met, and parted, as if in a primal dance for dominance but neither of you really cared who would win. You felt his hands grip your legs and lift you up onto the counter, and you pulled him closer to you, circling and trapping him with your legs.

Gently his fingers traced the skin of your stomach before dragging your shirt up off your body and dropping it to the floor. His lips trailed from yours down your neck to your collar bones before settling on the swell of your breast. His deft hands found the clasp of your bra and soon it was laying in a heap on the floor in his kitchen along with your shirt. Electric shocks shot through you as his tongue swirled around first one then the other nipple. You gripped his shoulders, a soft sigh slipping from your mouth as he explored your body. You felt him shift as he moved lower, dragging his tongue along the hem of your pants. “Misha…” you whined as the button popped and the zipper lowered. He stood, his lips going to yours as his fingers dipped into your pants to touch and tease at your clit. The electricity that flowed through your body at his touch had you weak in the knees and your back arched as you gripped the edge of the counter behind you.

He watched your face as he touched you, mesmerized by the way your features morphed and changed as the pleasure moved through you. You were so beautiful. He wanted you. He wanted to taste you, and hear you, and feel you as you took all the pleasure he could give you until neither of you could move any more. His lips captured yours as his fingers circled the tender, swollen bundle of nerves, swallowing your groan. “Y/N…” he groaned as he teased you and rocked his body into yours. He slid his hand under your leg, gripping the rim of the sink with his hand, and hiked it up higher as your breath caught in your throat. He slid his hand lower, his longest finger entering you while his thumb rubbed insistent circles.

Your head was foggy and you felt almost drunk of the pleasure assaulting your senses. You weren’t going to last much longer and you wrenched your lips away, sucking in air as you panted towards the sky. “Yes, Misha.” You whimpered. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” You practically begged as you felt your body cresting the mountain of pleasure before you. You leaned back, bracing one hand on the counter and gripping his shirt and shoulder with the other. You watched his hand move in and out of you, the skin of his wrist flexing as the cloth of your panties moved with his hand. You dragged your eyes up to his and the heat and hunger in his eyes was enough to have you falling over the edge. Your back arched as you froze and held your breath through the first waves of pleasure.

“Let me hear you, Y/N.” Misha’s gravelly voice begged into your ear. With the next pulse a moan slipped from your lips and you felt Misha shutter while watching you. Your eyes fluttered closed as your body hummed before relaxing against his chest.

“Misha,” you took a breath, “that was...oh my god.” You looked up at him and marveled at the satisfied grin on his face. You could feel him still hard and insistent, pressed up against you. He pulled his hand from your pants, hungry eyes examining the wet glistening on his fingers. You watched with lust filled eyes as he stuck his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. “My turn…” you panted as you reached for the button on his jeans.

“Wait,” Misha stilled your hands with his, “if you touch me right now I wont be able to last, and I want to be inside you when I finish. This is not where I want our first time to be.” He took a steadying breath before letting your leg drop down and scooping you close to him again. You captured his lips with yours before gently pushing him away from the counter and hopping down yourself. Your eyes met his and you took his hand before slowly leading him down the hall to his room. There was so much more you wanted to explore...this was only the beginning.

Taglist:

@imamotherfuckingstar-lord @big-to-beautiful @greenappleeyesdean @lilo-efuru @shikaros-blog @fireismysaftey @iconicxcasifer @cannonindeez @tsunderecamour @fluffycascat @rhishklish @awkwardnesshabitat @earthtokace

If you would like to be added to my taglist please send me an ask (otherwise I might lose the request/forget.) Thank you!!

#misha x reader #mishaxreader #Misha x You #misha x y/n #misha rpf #bcmasterlist

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drunkhemingway · 4 years

Text

Sorry, did someone say “A Zutara selkie AU that nobody asked for?”

I thought I heard that, so find it on AO3 or below the cut.

sealskin and saltwater

Summary: Katara wonders, for the first time in her life, if this is what drowning is like.

There is a storm the night she is born.

Outside the caves, the sea rages and the wind howls in times with her mother’s cries. The aunts and grandmothers gather around and pet her mother’s hair as the labor wracks her body. The storm quiets for only a moment as she slips from her mother’s womb. Her mother baptizes her in saltwater and names her Katara.

***

For the first long span of her life she knows nothing but the warm caves where the tribe sleeps and the joy of playing in the waves and the lazy contentment of sunning on rocks. Her father teaches her to hunt in the shallows where the fish are plentiful, and her mother teaches her to weave shells into her hair, and her brother shows her the places where the shiniest rocks can be found. When storms toss the waves high above her head and lightning spikes and twists in tempestuous patterns, Katara is not afraid.

“The sea keeps us safe,” her father tells her. “And the sea will always bring you home.”

Katara and Sokka go to a beach covered in sea glass and shed their pelts while they collect blue and green pieces of sparkle to bring back to Kya.

She hugs them fiercely close, and tells them, “Never leave your pelt unguarded. Never, never.” Katara does not understand why this is important, but she promises anyway.

She understands, later, when Kya sheds her pelt and then does not return. Hakoda searches the beaches for weeks, and it is only when the winter storms come that he returns to the caves and admits defeat.

Katara and Sokka sing a mourning song. Hakoda listens to their cries and refuses to hunt.

Days pass. Kya does not come home.

Hakoda sings a song of lamentation and loss and unbearable pain; then he slips into the sea, and Katara does not see her father again.

***

The world of men is cruel, and rough, and unyielding. Katara knows this. But the best sunbathing is on the beach where men’s scent lays heavy, and the winter has been long and harsh.

She tells Sokka she is going. He cannot drum up the energy to care. He is wooing a female from another tribe, and he is focused on that. “Sure,” he says, and she takes that as permission.

Katara sheds her pelt when she hits the rocks. She hides it carefully, always. She remembers her mother, remembers the whispered words of caution while Kya brushed out her hair. Katara remembers her mother, who was strong and brave and beautiful and never came home. Katara will not be captured.

She sunbathes on the beach that is heavy with the scent of men, and does not fear them. It is the cold season, when the storms rage and the surf beats angrily against the shore. They are almost never on the beach during this weather; and if they were, Katara knows that she can grab her pelt and dive into the sea, and the sea will take her home. She is never unsafe while her toes dangle in saltwater. The sun is wan and thin and gray, but it feels warm and nurturing after so many months in her tribe’s caves. Katara basks in the glow of the winter rays and thinks that she should go across the sea, where she hears there are golden beaches that are warm and drenched in sun all year round.

It is then, naked and relaxed and daydreaming, that she sees him. He is tall, pale even by the standards of men. His hair is dark like the ink of a frightened squid, like the depths of the sea trenches where fish with long teeth hide. But his eyes are gold like sunset on shallow waves, gold like early morning, gold like the underside of a shell. Katara decides, on impulse, that she trusts him.

“Are you alright?” he asks, and his voice is low and husky and concerned. Katara tries to meet his eyes, but he is looking at the ground and blushing. She frowns. Is he afraid? He removes the outermost layer of his clothes — a jacket, she thinks — and offers it to her. “It’s alright,” he says. “I won’t hurt you. Maybe put this on, though?” Katara does not take the proffered layer. She tilts her head, considering the boy before her. Her pelt lies in a small hole some feet away, covered by a rock. She could reach it before he drew his next breath, if she needed to. She does not want to.

“You’re a selkie,” the boy says, and Katara turns and disappears into the water.

Men are not to be trusted.

***

The next time she sees him, he is on a boat.

“He’s just a human,” Sokka says, when she leaves to follow the boat out to sea. Katara does not respond. She does not care to.

The boat hits rough waters while it pulls in its fishing catch. Katara sees her human near the bow — he is not in danger, and she is oddly relieved. A different human, one she does not know, falls from the boat. The sea, Katara thinks, will have its due. This boat of humans cannot stray this far from the shore without paying the toll.

But the boy is at the side of the boat, and he is yelling and throwing ropes and floating rings and wooden rods overboard, and suddenly Katara finds herself pushing the fallen human upwards and back towards the boat. They break the surface of the water, and he yells, and ropes fly, and Katara ducks back under the waves. Hakoda would be incensed to learn that she had saved the life of a human. But she could swear that she saw her human, the boy, right before she dove; and he looked like he wanted to say thank you.

***

She goes back to the beach. He is not there.

She sheds her pelt, day after day, and sunbathes naked on the sand. She cannot understand what keeps him away. She cannot understand what keeps drawing her back.

It is months and months and months before she sees him again. It is sunset, and the sand is bathed in red and gold when she sees him walking towards the water.

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” he says, when he finally finds her. “I didn’t want to hope.”

She says nothing, only pulls him towards the sea. If she can shed her pelt, surely he can sprout gills — and she has wanted nothing in her life so badly as she wants this human boy with ink-black hair and haunted eyes.

“I can’t,” he says. “But you should go back. The people I’m with will trap you, if they can.”

Katara tugs him towards the water once again.

“I wish I could,” he says, and sinks down to sit on the sand. He holds out an arm to her, and says, “Sit with me? I’ll tell you the story my mother told me about the very first sunset.” Katara sinks into the sand beside him, and listens.

***

“You’re obsessed with a human,” Sokka says.

“I can be obsessed with whoever I want,” Katara answers.

“Just don’t get hurt,” he responds.

“I won’t,” she says.

“Don’t let him take your pelt,” Sokka says.

“I won’t,” she repeats.

***

“Shall I tell you about the creation of the first lily?”

Katara nods.

“Alright. When the world was young…”

The tale does not matter as much as the voice that tells it. The story does not matter as much as the mind that spins it.

(His name, she learns, is Zuko.)

She speaks little, on the nights that she meets him on the dunes. He is there every night. She knows, because on the few nights that she did not come to greet him, she watched him from the waves. He waited, patient, for a long while, until finally he followed the dim light of the early-morning moon back to the world of men.

(His world is a world of men, and she does not belong there.)

His voice when he tells her stories is rich and sweet and full of life. Katara longs for a world that she has not seen or touched or heard of, when he tells her stories. She wants it; she wants to walk on streets paved with stone and buy candied fruit. She can only imagine it. He knows what she is; stepping away from the sea makes her heart seize and her brow bead with fear. She cannot leave her pelt. She cannot leave the sea.

Zuko asks for her name; then he never questions her again. He never asks after her pelt or her tribe or her cave; he simply tells her stories. She sings for him, sometimes, hunt-songs and songs of change and newness and wonder. When she leaves, he watches her until she slips out of sight beneath the waves.

There is some small, reasonable part of Katara that tells her not to return. She does not listen.

He tells her stories, night after night, of the Good Neighbors and the Fair Folk. He does not ask about selkies. He does not ask about the sea.

Katara returns to the caves and does not answer Sokka’s questions.

“What does he know?” Sokka demands.

She says nothing.

“You put us all at risk,” he accuses her.

Katara does not argue, and she does not speak of her human.

***

“I want you to stay with me,” says Zuko one day.

Katara does not answer him.

“I won’t ever make you,” he swears.

He is lying. Katara knows this. Humans lie. If she gives him her pelt, she will never see the ocean again.

She flees.

***

“You haven’t gone to the beach lately,” says Sokka.

Katara shrugs.

“What happened to your human?”

“He’s just a human,” Katara says. “You were right.”

She hunts with her brother, and sings the tribe-songs, and dances in sun-dappled waves. Just as she has always done. But her heart longs for the small rocky beach, and a boy with ink-black hair and golden eyes.

***

“I think I met the son of a seal-wife,” says one of the aunts one day, while they brush out their hair on the warm rocks outside the entrance to the cave. “He did not look like us, but he stood on the sand and sang a hunt-song. His mother must have taught it to him.”

Katara looks up, her heart clenching with an emotion she cannot name.

“How sad,” says another. “To know that part of you belongs in the sea, but having no pelt, no way to come home.”

Katara thinks of Zuko, standing alone on the shore, singing a song for her. Asking her to come back. She thinks of Hakoda, who sang his death-song and let the sea take him away, far from the tribe and their caves. Katara has always wondered if the sea had taken him back to Kya, in some way. If that was its way of taking Hakoda home.

She wonders where the sea will take her if she lets it.

***

She goes back, many nights later, when the moon is full.

He is asleep.

There is a hut on the beach now, a little ramshackle makeshift thing made of driftwood and covered by sailcloth. It is hardly more than a lean-to, something to keep the rain off of the camp he has made, with a sleeping roll and a fire pit. He is asleep now, breathing deeply and evenly beside the gentle glow of the coals that are all that is left of his cook-fire. He has built this, she knows, because he has been waiting for her.

(His hair is longer. Has she truly stayed away from him for so long?)

She sheds her pelt and lays beside him, content for now to watch him dream. Moonlight turns his skin to silver; his hair falls like a shadow over his face. She reaches out to touch it, and it is as smooth and silky as her own pelt. She strokes him gently, running her fingers lightly through his hair, fascinated with the way it slips through her fingers and falls back against his cheek. He does not stir. Katara hums softly, a song of longing and wanting and needing, a song of apology, a song of thanks. When she looks back down at his face, his eyes are open, and he is watching her like a man who is dying of need, like a sinner looking at their god, like a sailor seeing home after months adrift at sea.

“You came back,” he whispers.

She nods.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t,” he says. His voice is low, just a murmur, as though she is an illusion that will shatter and fade if he speaks too loudly. His hand comes up and strokes her face, once, gently.

Katara leans into the caress, and Zuko repeats it, touching her with soft, reverent fingers. He traces the line of her cheekbone, her jaw, her temple; he threads his fingers into her hair and smooths it away from her face. “I waited,” he says. “I think I would’ve waited forever. I came back every night, hoping you would return.”

She thinks of the long days since she has seen him, and the endless longing for their beach and his voice and his shy smile, and is glad that he missed her too.

“And you came back,” he whispers reverently. His finger traces the shape of her lower lip.

“For you,” she murmurs, and leans forward to press her lips to his. He pulls her closer, and she rises over him and fits her body to his, and the feel of his skin on hers washes over her like crashing waves. He feels like the sea, like the endless depths and steady pull of the tides. His skin tastes of saltwater, and when she cries out his name it sounds like waves breaking on the shore.

Later, they sit close to the water, huddled together in a blanket, naked limbs tangled together under the wool. Katara is amused at Zuko’s discomfort with nudity; his body is beautiful, long and rangy and silvery-pale in the moonlight so he looks nearly as fey as she. But he is human, and they are odd about things like this, so she lets him wrap the blanket around them before he pulls her against him and holds her close.

“Come back to me again,” he whispers as he nuzzles her hair.

“Always,” she murmurs back.

***

She comes back to him, again and again.

He never asks her to stay, but his golden sunset eyes are sad when she slips back into the water. Katara thinks that she would give up more than the sea to prevent his sorrow.

“I think I love him,” she tells Sokka one day.

Sokka’s eyes are full of heartbreak as he looks at her. “Do I have to lose you, too?”

She curls close to her brother and does not answer.

“He’s a human,” Sokka tells her. “If he can trap you, he will. They can’t help it. They don’t understand what it means to be free.”

Katara thinks of Zuko hiding his body beneath a blanket, of the tribes who still sing the mourning songs for brothers and sisters who wandered ashore one day and never came back. She thinks of her pelt, always hidden close at hand. She thinks of her human, her lovely gold-and-silver boy, and the look in his eyes when he said, I want you to stay with me. I won’t ever make you. She wonders what he would do if she placed her pelt in his hands.

“I think I love him,” Katara repeats out loud.

“You belong in the sea,” Sokka replies.

“What if I can have both?” Katara asks.

Sokka only puts an arm around her and holds her close.

***

She gets tired of waiting.

Zuko watches her dive into the water, as he normally does; then he turns to walk away, back to the world of men. Katara waits until he cannot see her, and then she emerges from the water and sheds her pelt and follows him.

She holds her pelt wrapped around her like a cloak to cover her nakedness, but she has no clothes. And beyond that — she has seen enough humans to know that she does not quite look like one of them.

(She is a selkie, and there will always be something a little uncanny about her. She belongs to the sea. It leaves its mark.)

It is dangerous. If she is caught, or seen, she is too far from the water to flee the grip of men. She trusts Zuko, but not all humans are like Zuko. If she is seen, and someone takes her pelt, they will take her away and hold her captive and she will never see Zuko or the ocean or her brother ever again. She follows Zuko anyway.

He goes to a cottage that she assumes is his home. The door is unlocked; Katara lets herself in, and curls her toes against the unfamiliar feeling of wood floorboards beneath her feet. She drapes her pelt over the back of a chair, deliberate.

“You’re here,” he says wonderingly when he sees her. “How are you here?”

She smiles at him, shy now. “You let me leave,” she says. “I got tired of you letting me leave.”

He reaches for her, and she curls into him, easy and gentle like the morning tide.

“Ask me to stay,” she orders.

“Stay,” he whispers into her hair. “Please.”

She does.

The next morning, when she wakes in Zuko’s bed, surrounded by blankets heavy with his scent, her pelt is still on the chair where she left it. He has left her a note —

Working today. Come back to me tonight?

She only smiles, and slips her pelt over her shoulders, and goes back to the caves, to the scent of saltwater and damp rock, to tell her brother that he was wrong.

“You’re staying with him,” Sokka says.

“I love him,” Katara answers. “And he does not try to tame me.”

“Come back when you can,” Sokka tells her, and it is the gentlest kind of goodbye, because she sees in his eyes that he truly does understand.

Katara thinks that this is what love is, a letting go, a come back to me, a kind benediction and a farewell. She kisses her brother on the brow, and softly hums a song of love and gratitude and belonging. Sokka weeps when she leaves, and she hears a song of farewell and heartache and pride and boundless, boundless love echo over the waves behind her. Katara reaches the beach, and sets her feet on the path toward the world of men.

Toward Zuko.

***

His love keeps her safe. Her pelt hangs in the closet, next to his coats and her skirts, and Zuko never touches it. The closet is locked when strangers come to visit, and Zuko laughs off the idea that his wife is anything more than human.

(The neighbors know she is fey, but by their way of thinking, Katara makes the best smoked fish in the village, and if Zuko wants to pretend that his woman is not a seal-wife, then that is none of their business. They whisper behind their hands, and wonder how he has kept her happy for so long, and how long it will be before she finds her pelt and disappears into the waves forever.)

Katara dives into the sea sometimes, when Zuko is gone on the fishing boats and she misses the pull of the sea. Then she returns to the caves, and hunts with her brother, and dances between the waves, and sings the tribe-songs. Sokka kisses her brow when she leaves, and commands her to come back when she can. He does not weep when she leaves. She returns to the little cottage, and Zuko is always waiting. There is a fire in the hearth, and a place for her to hang her pelt, and a warm pair of arms waiting to welcome her.

His love keeps her safe, and his love guides her home.

***

There is a storm the night their daughter is born.

Katara insists on going down to their beach. Zuko protests, but takes her anyway, and holds her hand while the aunts and grandmothers gather around and pet Katara’s hair and sing the birthing-songs as the labor pains wrack her body. They grumble at Zuko’s presence, but he refuses to leave.

Finally their daughter slips from Katara’s womb into the world as a particularly demanding crack of thunder sounds above them. Katara baptizes her in saltwater.

“We’ll call her Kya,” Zuko whispers into Katara’s hair. Katara smiles, and kisses her daughter’s tiny webbed toes.

fin.

I’m gonna tag a few folks who I know enjoy Zutara fics because I thrive on attention but PLEASE let me know if you want to not be tagged and I will remove you!

@firelxdykatara

@rllyjohnrlly

@markedmage

@grumpyzutara

@purelyzutara

@bluelady-atla

@lilylizard

#zutara #zuko x katara #zutara fic #shameless self plug #i did NOT work hard on this but i would still love it if yall read it #im kinda proud of it?#in a look-at-my-trash kind of way #anyway thanks #love yall

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