#who are on this website and can see the shit you post

[aesethewitch]

Advertisement Adversaries #2: "Gender Swap Spell"

Hello, and welcome to the second installment of Advertisement Adversaries! This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website. (Note: Some images just wouldn't upload to Ko-Fi for some reason, so I strongly recommend using the website!)

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Please Note: I had so many screenshots for this listing, I've had to cut out a handful because of Tumblr's image limit. To see ALL of the images I captured, please pop over to my website for the full experience.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Advertisement Details

Who is the advertiser -- or who do they claim to be? Who is their apparent primary audience? What are they selling? What's their tone? What's the vibe? What are the first impressions?

Spell scams on Etsy are a dime a dozen. This one I've chosen has just about everything a scam boogeyman like me could possibly want. But let's start right from the top, shall we?

Now, this is a total scam, so we're naming and shaming, but I have another reason for naming this one. (Note that all other names, such as reviewer names, have been redacted from screenshots or otherwise omitted for their privacy.)

This listing comes from an Etsy shop called "MariahSpells." They last updated their shop announcements on September 6, 2024. The listing we're focusing on is one for a "Gender Swap Spell." Yeah, that's right, I'm fucking going there.

A lot of Etsy spells targeting trans people look like this. Many of them make it seem like it's a spell for a physical transformation, but really, you're getting an ~emotional transformation~ to help you along your ~spiritual journey~ and make you ~feel things~. But again, they market like it's a physical change and then pull this to prevent complaints or required refunds.

Not so with MariahSpells! No, no! This spell is going to change you physically. No HRT required. You want a dick? Envision it. Write it out. They're gonna make that happen for you. Let's fucking go.

God, I wish it worked that way.

No frills, no bullshit, and a 100% success guarantee. This Ancient and Powerful Spell is going to Fix You. No refunds.

Normally, I have to make an educated assumption about who these scams are targeting. But MariahSpells is doing my work for me:

Specifically and deliberately targeting vulnerable trans people who are desperate for a change. Nice. Note also the emphasis on "opposite sex" throughout this listing. We love erasing intersex and non-binary people, don't we?

But I can really see a depressed, desperate trans person buying this spell. And someone did.

Fucking tragic. This review was put up after I decided to cover this listing but before I started working on this. Someone bought this, perhaps because they can't access HRT safely where they are or because they want quicker results from their transition. I don't know for sure, but that's the kind of person this listing (and listings like this one) are targeting.

This shop, according to the main page, has received over 2,000 sales since it opened. Two thousand sales. Most of the other services in this shop aren't as exorbitantly priced as this one, but many of them are. One is, I shit you not, seven hundred dollars. ON SALE. To become a vampire -- yes, a real one, immortal and all. (But don't worry, that listing says you won't incur bad karma for it. Yippee!)

And that's all just on the surface. Let's do a smidge of digging.

Based on the shop name, you'd think that the seller's name is Mariah. But in their listing, all the way at the bottom in the "waxing poetic about themselves" section, we see this:

Why would your shop be MariahSpells if your name is Sayran? Now, I thought this was odd until I found a particular review with a link to a different Etsy shop that appears to have been forcibly shut down -- with the same qualifications listed in the description.

So, this isn't this person's name, and they've reopened a shop despite being shut down on another... which also wasn't their actual name. It makes me wonder how many times this person has done this, and whether they have other shopfronts they're running at the same time. Classic scam behavior: Change shop names after being reported/marked as a scam/taken down and keep on selling the same empty promises.

Admittedly, I'm not super familiar with Syriac magic or its traditions, so I'm staying away from commenting on that. If anyone reading this knows anything about it and is willing to dig into it, please let me know in the replies/reblogs or tag me in a separate post - if you've got the details, I want to read them! I did a little reading, but I had to put it down to focus on the rest of this review.

However, even without knowing about Syriac magic, I can't confirm anything about this person's practice or even their existence, because they have no social media. There are no links on the shop page, in the about section, or elsewhere. Even a wider search (using the current shop name, the prior shop name, and both listed seller names) brings up nothing. This seller doesn't exist outside this shop. Red fucking flag.

The overall tone of this listing is superior. It takes swipes at "fake wizards" and "everyone presenting themselves as a witch" in order to make this particular seller appear more legitimate.

The seller also takes time to shit on other listings that rely on the buyer's "positive thinking" to make their magic work -- or, really, to blame the buyer for spells not working.

I agree with them that it's scummy to blame the buyer and use their "negativity" as a scapegoat. Hilarious to see it on such a blatant scam.

Now, let's take a second to talk about the price and this sale that's going on. I took almost all of these screenshots on February 18, 2025 (others had to be redone due to formatting issues or because I forgot to grab a couple). I'm doing a first draft on the 19th, and as of literally right now as I'm typing this, the sale has about an hour and fifteen minutes left. I'm keeping an eye on it.

This is an exorbitant price for a service where your only verification is a photo which can easily be fabricated. You can't verify the services via reviews, either, because all of the reviews for spell services are premature ones giving five stars before any results are even given. (And for another reason, which I'll talk about later!)

This is now me, a couple hours later, returning to the listing. Lo and behold:

The sale is still on. It's still 50% off. But hey, it still has that "biggest markdown" banner on it. That's strange... a glitch, maybe?

Nope. Check the prices. The seller knocked a couple cents off the original price to make the sale price the "new lowest in 60 days." They're artificially forcing that message to keep up the sale hype. It's why the price is such a strange amount; they've been doing this since at least October 2024, maybe longer.

This isn't something you'd notice unless you were obsessively checking on it... like me. Gotcha, bitch.

Overall, the impression is fuckin' bad. Obviously. Between the bootleg Sims AI generated listing picture, the putting-down of other sellers, the product description, and the "sale" rug-pull, this listing is an incredible, pristine example of an Etsy Spell Scam.

Let's talk nitty-gritty.

Clarity

How clear is the language? Does it use a bunch of obscure terms or talk in circles? Is it obvious what the buyer will receive based on this listing alone?

I mean, it's pretty obvious what you're getting on the surface. It's a spell that's going to cause a physical transformation to you based on your specifications vis a vis gender transition.

But here's the thing: You don't actually know what's happening. What kind of spell is this? What ritual is being done? What concern is there for the buyer? It says this spell is permanent, but what does that mean? Does that mean it can't be undone at all? And if that's the case, how is this spell being bound to the buyer?

The seller says they're a Syriac magician, but that's a pretty niche tradition. The average person isn't going to know anything about it. You'd think they would take the opportunity to play up the exotic, exclusive nature of their magic by explaining a little more about the spell or ritual... but that would require there to be an actual spell happening, wouldn't it?

This listing is constantly talking in circles about how great the spell is and how powerful the magic is and how the effects are worth the price. But note that it doesn't detail what effects you're going to see. Note, again, that it's just repeating the same shit over and over and over again: "it's gonna work, I'm gonna do the spell for you, it's super powerful, you want this spell, it's gonna work..."

The only proof you're going to get of this spell happening is a photo, and only if you demand one. Based on reviews, buyers apparently get a short blurb stating that the spell has been done and the picture. Immediately after purchase, you get a JPG thank you message to download. You get the rest later.

My issue with "photo proof" of spells is that they can easily be faked. They can be stolen from the internet. They can be a set of photos that are being reused over and over again for different buyers. They can be real... but the setup may not be a true spell. It would be pretty easy to light some candles and draw a circle and take a picture to claim it's a spell when it's just... candles and a doodle. You know? Clarity for this listing gets a 1/5. It gets a singular point for saying what the spell is for and generally what it's intended to do, but most of the listing is sucking their own Very Ancient And Powerful dick instead of giving actual details about the spell.

Transparency

Is the seller honest about their refund/returns policy? Is it obvious where materials are being sourced? Is the seller being honest and clear about their credentials and/or qualifications?

On the surface, this seller is upfront about their refunds policy. As in, they don't do refunds. Their policy and other disclaimers are clearly stated at the bottom of the listing.

Standard stuff overall. We love to see a 100% guarantee followed up by "but I'm not responsible if it doesn't work." It's required, yes, but it's still funny. Also incredible to have a disclaimer about not providing medical advice on a listing about, y'know, a medical thing. (They also have a weight loss spell. Take that as you will.) The swap to "we" in the disclaimers is a little strange. It strikes me as something they've copied from another seller's listings or a different source and then edited to their liking.

As for materials, I have no idea where they're getting their stuff. They say that they use only the highest quality materials, but who knows?

We don't know what materials are being used in this spell, so there's no way to fact check this. This is on purpose.

And, once again, there's absolutely no way to verify this person's credentials. I can't even verify that they're a real person who practices magic! So, I can't say one way or the other if they're telling the truth.

It really seems like their refunds policy and general disclaimers are the only verifiably transparent things here, huh? That's worth a point, probably...

Except it isn't. I took a couple hours to read through every single review this shop has ever received, because I was curious. I found a couple strange things that I'll talk about further along in this review, but right now, I want to focus on this:

(For more examples, please see the version of this post on my website.)

Well, well, well. If it isn't my favorite grifter behavior, the old-fashioned bribe for better reviews. What this seller has done is offer refunds, exchanges, or other services in order to convince low-star reviewers to change their ratings. And it seems that at least a handful of people have taken them up on this offer. These folks have said that this is what happened, as you can see. I can't help but wonder how many of these other five-star reviews are fake, now, too.

Peeking at the listings those reviews are from, their prices are significantly lower than this listing we're focusing on. But you can imagine the draw of getting a $200 refund when you realize you've been scammed, right? Wouldn't you update your review to get that much money back? I would be tempted, I'm not gonna lie.

Then again, I'd probably update it again once I had my money back to be as close to zero stars as possible. Because fuck this behavior.

Transparency gets a solid fuck-you 0/5. They're actively lying about not providing refunds to cover their ass and bribe unsatisfied customers while hiding their identity and details of the spell.

Presence

Is the seller present anywhere other than their shop? Do they share anything about their process, method, or practice anywhere? Are they actually part of a community, or are they just selling something?

As mentioned way up above, I did a lot of digging. This seller has no social media that I can find. My guess is, because this is a scam shopfront using an alias, that I'm not meant to be able to find them anywhere else. Because they don't exist. This is a scam attempting to get as much money from you as possible before Etsy finds them again and shuts it down. They're not part of any community.

Also, interestingly, while I was trying to find anything about this shop, I found a couple Reddit threads that had been deleted talking about the shop. I couldn't recover any of the contents of those threads, unfortunately. Shame. It is interesting, though, that all of them were scrubbed. No idea if there's something bigger going on there or if it's just a coincidence. But it's interesting.

I found something else really interesting while combing through all of those reviews. There's a period from roughly February 2024 to August 2024 where this seller received a ton of one-star reviews in a row. All of them say that they never heard from the seller and never received their services.

The most recent of these one-star reviews is this one, followed by the reply left by the seller:

I can neither confirm nor deny the tragedy of this, because again, they have no other presence, and no lasting messages available other than the complaint reviews on the shop. And yet, I'm inclined to believe that this is at least somewhat true. Something happened in this seller's life that caused them to abandon this shop for several months. They'd been making steady sales before this with really positive reviews.

But Etsy has a vacation mode. Sellers can temporarily suspend their shops in the event of vacation, emergency, illness, or whatever else. Why didn't this person use this feature? It could be because of the "star seller" thing, since that's assessed on a three month cycle, and if a shop isn't active at all during the grading period, it'll lose star status. But neglecting the shop for seven months does the same thing! What the hell??

I'm uncertain if these people got refunds. According to the seller's review reply shown above, they apparently reached out to everyone who ordered from them. One person came back to amend their review to be five stars, stating that they spoke to the shop owner and giving their condolences.

One thing I'm certain of, though, is that this sale thing is surely a result of that low period. The shop's seemingly genuine and astroturf-like reviews resume around September/October 2024, and I know that these sales were going on then because of a review talking about "taking your $30 elsewhere." That's the approximate price of the service they bought.

So, either this "sale" tactic has been happening for a long time, or it's a newer scheme to boost the shop back up to where it was previously. I imagine the seller was desperate to get back to their five-star status after all those nasty reviews. No wonder they're bribing for stars and burying those negative reviews under mountains of premature and potentially false praise. Even if it's because of a genuine tragedy, this is gross behavior.

Presence gets an obvious 0/5. Even off-site reviews are non-existent.

Genuineness

Are listing photos genuine? Are any images AI, or is any copy written by an AI? Is this a real person selling something, or is this a bot account?

So, this listing has a bunch of images attached to it. The first one, the one you see in the Etsy search, is AI generated. Take a close look at it and note the blur on the earrings and the frames of the glasses melding into the eye/eyebrow shapes on the right.

Two of the images provided are collages of five-star reviews. I'm ignoring these, because I think it's gauche to do this when you're a legit seller. Doing it when you're a full-blown scammer is just ridiculous.

The rest of the images in this listing seem real, though! They're real pictures. What a refreshing and reassuring thing that is. (Very heavy sarcasm.)

I have three problems with these images, listed here in order from least to most bothersome.

First, these images don't really... match the spell at all. A couple seem like spells to bind two people together, like the ones with the figurine candles and the two poppets tied together. The others are generic spell circles.

My second issue is that every single spell listing in this shop has the same exact images. It quickly becomes obvious why they don't match the spell in question -- they're being reused again and again because they're eye-catching! The average consumer isn't going to be combing through every single listing, they're using the search bar to find specific spells and clicking the one(s) that catch their eye.

The third issue is that every single one of these images is stolen. Several are images that have been commonly reposted for the past decade (like the voodoo doll one). But a couple of these are kind of strange. Take this one, for example:

This image, as far as I can tell, comes from this article, which is about Syriac magic. It is, if Firefox's translate feature is to be trusted, a beginner-level article about Syriac magic. The image in the listing is the same one found on this article, just zoomed in and with a weird lightning filter overtop. This makes me wonder if this seller searched "syriac magic ritual picture" or something similar to get this image. I tried a couple ways, but this is a niche website in Turkish, so I'm not surprised I couldn't get it to populate in my search results.

Let's see this one also, since it's similarly stolen:

This one seems like it might be from this website, which is a French psychic's personal website advertising various spell services. I'm not 100% certain about this image's origins, but this one made the most sense out of the options.

A common thread between all of these images is that they were, at one point or another, reposted to Facebook. All of them, even the obscure one from the Turkish website. Not sure what exactly that means, but it is a pattern.

Well, with that reveal out of the way, let's go ahead and give Genuineness a score of 0/5. Not a single thing here is legitimate or genuine.

Verifiability

Is it obvious how a buyer will know their service is completed? Is it possible for the buyer to know? Are there any reviews verifying the quality/existence of the products or services? Are there negative reviews available?

All of the spells being provided, this one included, are "service only." That means you don't get a physical item, which means there's no tangible proof of service. You get a photo, as previously mentioned, and a reportedly brief summary of the spell's completion. I've already stated my issues with this, since there's no way to be certain that the service was done with just a short summary and an easily-faked photo.

Almost all of the reviews in this shop, and the one review on this particular listing, are positive. There are a sprinkling of negative reviews from 2024 complaining about not receiving what they paid for, a lack of detail in communication, and lack of results. The majority of reviews mention quick, attentive communication and fast turnaround for service completion.

And most of the reviews are premature. Nearly every single one of these reviews was left before the customer could see results, and most of them admit it.

I have two big problems with this. The first is that scammers like this will ask for positive reviews immediately, even when the supposed results might take months to manifest. The second is that a lot of these reviews come from the same person, all saying roughly the same thing about different services, all on the same day. It is possible that these are genuine, but it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility to call this astroturfing. Plus, with the proof of the seller bribing reviewers for refunds/other services, this reeks of falsified reviews.

So you can't trust the images, you can't trust the positive reviews, and you can't even tell if the seller is a real person. To me, that's textbook scam material. This seller gets 0/5 for Verifiability.

Morality

Are they offering services related to health, mental health, legal services, or other dubious subjects? Are they knowingly targeting a vulnerable audience using buzzwords and inflammatory language? Is the listing sharing misinformation or encouraging belief in conspiracy theories? Does the listing contain debunkable information? Does the listing participate in bigotry, cultural appropriation, bioessentialism, or anything of that nature?

I would like to fistfight this seller behind a Walmart.

Targeting vulnerable populations with impossible magical results and charging hundreds of dollars for empty promises is deplorable. It's disgusting. The intense "BUY NOW!!!" language coupled with sales that go on seemingly forever while being teased as "limited time" just compounds the scummy nature of this listing.

Not to mention the blatant erasure of intersex people and non-binary identities! "Opposite sex," my fucking foot. Obvious scam aside, if you don't know enough about trans people and the biology of gender to realize that it's more complex than one or the other, you're not qualified to cast spells like this.

This is a scam, plain and simple. It's designed to catch the eye of someone desperate enough to take a chance on wasting over a hundred dollars on the body of their dreams. They are continually adjusting the prices and renewing the sale to keep the urgency of "this BIGGEST SALE EVER is going to end soon!!!" going as long as possible. It's a scam.

Fuck you, Sayran/MariahSpells/whoever the hell you are. Morality is an extremely obvious 0/5.

Average Score & Summary

The average of all six scores comes to a whopping 0.2/5 (rounded up). I'm not surprised. With five zeroes and a single one on the board, this scam really does have everything.

I went into this review knowing that this was going to be a bad one. I wanted to cover this one specifically because it has all the hallmarks of an obvious scam. Because we can look at this and go, "Well, who the hell would fall for this? It's so obvious that this is bullshit, isn't it?"

But people do fall for it. People fall for it all the time. I went to the listing to copy some text for alt text descriptions on February 25, 2025, and saw this:

Another sale and another review, so the listing must be gone now, right? Only one left, and all that. Nope.

Of course not, because this is a scam. This asshole is going to keep doing this as long as they can, because it's making them a shitload of money.

Knowledgeable, considerate, genuine people buy this shit, because they want to believe. They're desperate for something they can't otherwise attain easily or safely.These scams are deliberately curated to fool the unwary, the hopeful, the desperate, the naive.

You are not immune to scams.

Let's summarize, quickly, the big warning signs found in this shop that mark it as a scam:

No social media, website, or other presence outside the shop

Big promises without explanation of how they're possible or how they're going to be fulfilled; minimal proof of completion promised

High prices slashed with sales throughout the shop

Sales that don't end to create an extreme and fabricated sense of urgency

Negative reviews with five stars, reviews edited in exchange for refunds, reviews edited by other coercion

Multiple positive, samey reviews from the same person on multiple products all on the same day

A listing that is mostly bragging about power and prestige rather than explaining the product/service in any kind of detail

Mismatch between the tradition/practice of the person and the services being offered and/or the language being used (being of an "ancient tradition" and yet using very modern New Age terminology)

Stolen listing photos, AI-generated images

It's a lot, but like I said, I picked this one because it has pretty much everything.

I believe that magic can help a trans person along their transition journey. Absolutely. Sure. Make your meds work faster, prevent misgendering, protect you from harm, smooth coming out conversations, etc. I've done all of these things successfully myself.

Magic cannot force an impossible change. If something isn't physically possible, magic isn't going to make it happen for you. A spell won't change your chromosomes. In my paradigm, this is explained by knots of Fate and Being that can't be untied.

This spell would not do anything. Even if the seller was genuine, this spell wouldn't do anything for you. Maybe if it was a spell intended to help your HRT act quicker or more effectively, or help you find a surgeon more easily, or something else like that, I could believe it. But a magic spell from Etsy isn't a replacement for medicine.

It can be fun to perform these spells, though. Spells to transform yourself into a fucking dragon rule. They're fun experiments. The day one of these spells works, you'll never hear from me again, because I'll be a jellyfish floating in the deep depths of the ocean forever and ever.

Have fun with magic. Just don't spend $150 on an Etsy scam for a scrap of false hope.

And, just as a final note, fuck Etsy for letting this kind of thing go. Fuck Etsy for giving scammers like this one (and many others) "Star Seller" status. You'd think they wouldn't just award that to anyone. You'd think that kind of recognition would come with some oversight for quality assurance, but no. Etsy lets scams like this thrive because they make a huge profit. Etsy's quality has been dropping across the board for years now, and I would genuinely encourage legitimate sellers looking for a place to hawk their wares to go elsewhere.

Know that I've reported this shop to Etsy. We'll see if that goes anywhere. I'll update if it does.

Final Notes

Many sellers in this series anonymous for a reason. Please do not go find these people. Even if I'm exposing a blatant scam to warn people about it, do not harass anyone. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated. When appropriate, I attempt to contact the seller(s) to discuss their ads and listings or report them where possible. Again, do not attempt to contact or bother the sellers, even if my coverage of them is negative.

If you spot an ad or a product listing in the wild that you want me to see or cover, send me a link, a screenshot, or the name of the shop. You can send it via ask or DM on Tumblr or to thewitchaese@gmail.com. Or, if you're a legitimate seller and want me to take a look at your listings (anonymous or not), shoot me a message or an email to chat about it! Examples of what to do are just as important as examples of what not to do, after all.

And, if you enjoy this series or my other work, please consider dropping a couple dollars in my tip jar! Writing is my full-time gig, and contributions help keep this boat afloat.

Thanks for reading!

[starrdream]

Favorite ex

Scott Barringer x f!reader summary: Seeing your ex after a breakup neither of you wanted includes: SMUT!!, head(m receiving), bathroom sex cross posted on ao3 disclaimer: I did NOT watch higher ground yet so apologies if I got anything show related wrong lol😭😭

After 2 long years of dating Scott the two of you broke up. You simply had to.

Getting caught smoking weed was too much of a big deal to your parents so they sent you to Mount Horizon. Even though Scott and you were basically all over eachother, there was no saving you this time.

Four months later and you're talking to Shelby when you catch a glimpse of a familiar face walking around rather cluelessly.

„Oh do my eyes decieve me" You stand up, leaving Shelby confused before notices Scott herself.

"You two gonna have a quickie?" She jokes.

"Who knows?!" You shoot back, already halfway toward Scott.

"Holy shit-" He curses under his breath. Once you reach him he pulls you in by the jaw, pouring all pent up emotions into the kiss

"What the hell are you doing here?" You smile brightly as he wraps his arms around your neck, pulling you closer.

“Got caught smoking again, parents were ‘kind’ enough to let me pick my own rehab center as they call it." Scott smiles down at you.

“How'd you know I was here?" You question happily, hands coming up to rest on his arms.

“You’re absolutely right gorgeous, they didn’t." He shakes his head, face inching closer.

"I saw your pic on the website" He chuckles. “Parents questioned absolutely nothing " Scott murmurs, nuzzling his face in your neck.

“Really?" You pull away to look at him “Yes, really." He confirms. " And you know what's the best part?"

“Tell me.”Your hand tangles in his hair as he nuzzles his face in your neck again.

“It was a beautiful picture... made me miss you so much... So much that I jerked off to it every night..."

“What?" You chuckle amused.

"Mhm," He nods. "Every night. Imagining it was your pretty hand or your lips..”

"We can arrange that" You answer, a hint of mischief in your voice.

Pulling you to the nearest bathroom and locking the door, Scott pulls you into him, kissing you all over while you tug on the waistband of his jeans teasingly.

"Mmh" He chuckles „Easy baby".

He gently pushes your hand away so he can unbutton and unzip his jeans easily. The second his pants are on the ground, he kisses you again, dick pressing into your thigh.

Slowly, teasingly, you drop to your knees in front of him, brushing your face against his evident erection, making him groan. You take his underwear off, sliding it down and freeing his rock hard cock.

Scott's hand sneaks to the back of your head as your thumb flicks over his tip a few times. Inching your head closer, you take his length as much as you can, stroking at the access you cannot fit in your mouth.

He sets a steady rhythm, pushing your head down and pulling it back up. “Damn it," he curses, his hips bucking slightly.

Scott continues to guide your head, his grip tightening as he gets closer. He's not usually one for words during sex, but he finds himself whispering "Good girl" as he nears the edge. He pulls your head down further, hitting the back of your throat

You whimper at the pet name, the sound vibrating against his length, sending waves of pleasure up and down his spine.

"Fuck," he groans, feeling your whimper vibrate against his dick. With a final thrust, he spills himself down your throat, his body shaking with pleasure.

His cock pulses and twitches as he shoots his load down your throat, holding your head in place, making sure you swallow every last drop.

After a few seconds, he slowly pulls you off his cock, leaving your lips coated with his release.

With a satisfied smirk, he wipes the excess from your cheek with his finger and pops it into your mouth. He leans in close, his warm breath ghosting over your ear as he murmurs.

“So good baby, so good..”

You moan again, pulling his finger out your mouth with a soft pop sound.

“Love you Scotty.” You feign innocence, looking up at him with big eyes.

“I love you too..” He helps you stand as you pull his jeans up with you, grinning like a kid who just got candy.

“We should probably get back before anyone notices..” You say, wiping some stray cum off the side of your mouth before washing your hands in the sink.

“Whatever you say beautiful..” He kisses your neck a few times.

[catgirlstalin]

i think you people should be thrown off a building for talking like this

[some-pers0n]

I think x Reader Tumblr writers should be hunted for sport for putting literally anything BUT the tags I filter them out for. I don't want to filter "[character] x reader" or something for literally every single character in existence just to avoid seeing ★ Glimbino x Female Reader Headcanons ★ NSFW!! or something crop up on my dash

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

actually...

looking at a bunch of my old favorite mutuals blogs that have been inactive for years. i miss them, even if i never really talked to any of them. when you're mutuals with a person for so long they become a comforting presence even without talking. you see them every day and read their posts about their thoughts or feelings or about what's going on in their life and so on. and they just become a part of your daily life in such a subtle way.

and then one day they just never post again. without warning. shit sucks. i actually hate it.

[triglycercule]

i feel like horror would have sourdough starter. he doesn't even use it to bake he just keeps it alive like a funny little experiment. the yeast in that starter will never get to experience the fulfillment of becoming bread unfortunately

and then he totally gets mad at dust and killer if they dont take care of it properly when he can't. WDYM THE STARTER OVERFLOWED!!! YOURE SUPPOSED TO ADD LESS WATER!!!! that's his baby guys he named it and decorated the jar and EVERYTHING 💔

[giantkillerjack]

the average person doesn't expect you to be a perfect ethical consumer, that's not possible for the vast majority of us. but what youre saying is it's better to do nothing at all and choose the worst possible options (sweat shops, overseas shipping waste, idea/product theft, all wrapped up in SHEIN) than to put even the tiniest effort in where you can.

[they are referring to this post]

What I said was "some people are doing literally everything they can to survive and have no extra bandwidth to spend extra time and money on their purchases, and it is cruel and therefore un-punk to gatekeep punkness and add additional shame to these people's lives based on that fact."

I think it's still a good thing to try to ethically consume; I literally never said it wasn't. I had never even heard of SHEIN before. Rather, I am much more concerned about what I saw as arbitrary gatekeeping based on ability and income.

And frankly how dare you claim that I am supporting sweatshops and abuse by saying that this additional work you are demanding (in this case, presumably, vetting every clothing company you buy from) is not always possible for people. It is not a light accusation to accuse me of supporting abuse.

"How dare you say we piss on the poor", Etc. 🙄 this isn't Twitter. You are determined to enforce moral purity, but you are failing to see the nuance.

Because when I say "no extra bandwidth," I mean no extra bandwidth. This is not the "car shows it's on E but actually secretly it has a lot of gas left" situation that abled people constantly assume disabled people mean when they say they are at their limit.

This is "the car has stopped moving, and to move it I'd have to break my body pushing it." This is "at a certain point, people will hit a wall in terms of money and time and energy, and any energy spent after that comes directly out of their life force."

So the argument "okay but just spend a little more time money and energy actually" is not a valid one.

And the argument "if you are not able to do this specific task, then it means you're not doing anything else to make the world a better place" doesn't exactly impress me either. You said yourself that it is impossible to be a perfectly ethical consumer for most people.

How do you know what else people are doing to resist oppression? How many hours per week until your standards are met?What if someone works 3 jobs? Does that mean it's harder to be a good person if you're poor?? Why do you get to decide what specific avenue of bettering the world is the most morally repugnant or acceptable? What kind of proof of goodness and effort would make you satisfied enough to lay off on the shame?? Who are you helping??

Clothing is a fundamental human need, and some of us have to buy cheap fucking clothes quickly. Billionaires are buying their seventh yacht this month. The people who own fast fashion companies are abusing their workers and putting local affordable clothing stores out of business - and this applies for basically every company with price points that low because governments are failing to regulate corporations to enforce basic human rights.

I have $300 to spend on a new wardrobe as my old clothes have fallen apart or become too small. Do you have a way for me to get a new winter coat, 3 flannels, 10 shirts, 3 dress shirts, new sandals, 10 pairs of pants, 5 bras, 12 pairs of socks, and 10 pairs of underwear within that budget and also definitely 100% ethically sourced, with free returns in case it doesn't fit? Or will I simply have to use the cheap stores?

I have about an hour to spend on this per week. Many mainstream stores doesn't make clothes in my size, and I am now in *year 5* of needing an electric wheelchair and being unable to get one; plus I live up a flight of stairs, so I can't even bring my walker out with me - so thrift shopping is not gonna cover this. Should I continue to wear small and tattered clothing until I have the time, money, and energy to meet your standards?

Did you know there are more empty homes in this country than homeless people? If I decide to splurge on only 100% ethically-produced products, and I can't make rent, and I become homeless, are YOU going to be there for me?? Or are you too busy litigating the endless tiny shames of poverty in your own community?

So I ask you again, are you SURE this is where you want to direct your punk energy?

Because there are a whole lot of rich people relying on people like us punching down and to the side instead of looking up to see where the money is going.

Because energy and time, as it turns out, are limited resources. And I would never expect you to secretly have more than you claim to have.

[jessiesjaded]

most interesting popular accounts to me are the ones that just post stuff like gifsets or art or writing but never ever say anything, like no tag rambles, no personal posts, no opinions, no rants. im always like surely.... surely you have something to say....

[macbethz]

WHAT THE FUCK is this where when you search something on tumblr it shows you random people’s reblogs now no one wanted this

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

people can use this site however they want but there's something almost- idk, sad? about how few people are actually using their blogs. you can turn themes on and have skeletons dancing in the background. you can make everything hot pink. your blog is your scrapbook and you can put whatever you want in there. tags are okay at organizing things so you can have just a whole archive of cool shit to look at later. i know people complain a lot about people liking stuff about reblogging for engagement, and on one hand i get that- it is WILD to see a drawing i spent hours on get only 12 reblogs and 60 likes. Absolute culture shock compared to my previous fandoms. but i don't think you should reblog anything to make artists happy. i think you should reblog things so you can find them again. i think you should queue things to appear on the dash at specific times on certain days. i think you should reblog things so when you're talking to your friends about xyz post you saw you can look in your blog's archive and find it again. i think you should reblog things so that your dash is filled with one really sleepy cat. with the loss of reblogs there's the loss of engagement, which Does hurt the community-focus that makes tumblr so appealing, but idk i just wish people were more excited about the incredible amount of customization that tumblr allows and took advantage of that more

[starfleetshrimps]

sorry but it annoys the SHIT out of me when people can't read cursive.

it's not that fucking hard to read even if you can't write in fluent cursive, i have neat handwriting if you can't read it that's your own fucking problem. i'm not going to take 10x longer to write shit down on the off chance you'll need to read it just because you can't read it.

i was taught cursive before script and it's my normal handwriting, it takes effort and thought and my handwriting gets WAY WORSE when i write in script it's not that hard. come ON.

jfc

[trannydykes]

just saw a post saying people who dont like bi-lesbians uphold the "gold star lesbian" ideas and such.

no. i just dont want my men-exluding identity to include men

like im no "gold star lesbian" by any means, and i couldnt give two fucking shits if a lesbian has dated, kissed, or yes, even fucked a guy before because thats usually during the stage of figuring out your identity, or active suppression to hide it from others or deny it from yourself

for the love of every fucking thing you hold dear, stop using outdated terminology to force men into lesbian spaces we made up new words for a fucking reason (especially in the Queer community, thats what the MOGAI movement was about), so that people had words to describe things, like themselves

and if you're going to take "lesbian" from non-men who dont like men, then do us the courtesy of telling us what you think i should call myself. because im genuinely so curious

also if every identity is all-inclusive whats the point of calling yourself anything? lesbian, bisexual, bi-lesbian, or whatever. if everyone needs to have a sexuality that includes all genders then why not just, abolish labels for sexualities? thatd solve the problem real quick

[clubpenguist]

friendly reminder that even if youre open about something on your blog, even if you think its so obviously right in your about/description/pinned/whatever, most of the people who will interact with you are not even looking that far at your blog. they dont know your name or your pronouns or your disabilities or your interests or your credentials or whatever you think is just *so obvious* that they *must* be intentionally ignoring it just to hurt you. ESPECIALLY not if theyre a random stranger who youve never interacted with once before, has never interacted with you once before either, and has absolutely zero reason to care about you. its not a personal attack, its just a fact. this is literally the internet

[icharchivist]

oh no oh no hold on oh no 

sorry i’m back on my gbfxa3 bullshit

i saw that in Moon Traveler some people are translating the setting of the play as “Moon Dwellers” and it really took /that/ for my eyes to snap open about how. holy shit. Yeah of fucking course. With Chikage being so enamored with the moon and having dreamt of being an astronaut and explore it. in the “gbfxa3 collab i want more than anything in the world” that lives rentfree in my mind, it means i absolutely need Chikage to meet Cassius. The Original “Man From the Moon, called Moon Dweller, who talks about the wonders of the moon all the time”. This is so obvious i can’t believe i didn’t think about it before.

do you see the vision.

[trans-leek-cookie]

I'm no authority nor expert but I just want to say I wish nothing but misfortune and woe upon every white person who romanticizes + fetishizes anthropophagy (eating humans). mostly because I just hate white people

[monsterfactoryfanfic]

if I've learned anything from grad school it's to check your sources, and this has proven invaluable in the dozens of instances when I've had an MBA-type try to tell me something about finances or leadership. Case in point:

Firefox serves me clickbaity articles through Pocket, which is fine because I like Firefox. But sometimes an article makes me curious. I'm pretty anal about my finances, and I wondered if this article was, as I suspected, total horseshit, or could potentially benefit me and help me get my spending under control. So let's check the article in question.

It mostly seems like common sense. "...track expenses and income for at least a month before setting a budget...How much money do I have or earn? How much do I want to save?" Basic shit like that. But then I get to this section:

This sounds fucking made up to me. And thankfully, they've provided a source to their claim that "research has repeatedly shown" that writing things down changes behavior. First mistake. What research is this?

Forbes, naturally, my #1 source for absolute dogshit fart-sniffing financial schlock. Forbes is the type of website that guy from high school who constantly posts on linkedin trawls daily for little articles like this that make him feel better about refusing to pay for a decent package for his employees' healthcare (I'm from the United States, a barbaric, conflict-ridden country in the throes of civil unrest, so obsessed with violence that its warlords prioritize weapons over universal medical coverage. I digress). Forbes constantly posts shit like this, and I constantly spend my time at leadership seminars debunking poor consultants who get paid to read these claims credulously. Look at this highlighted text. Does it make sense to you that simply writing your financial goals down would result in a 10x increase in your income? Because if it does, let me make you an offer on this sick ass bridge.

Thankfully, Forbes also makes the mistake of citing their sources. Let's check to see where this hyperlink goes:

SidSavara. I've never heard of this site, but the About section tells me that Sid is "a technology leader who empowers teams to grow into their best selves. He is a life-long learner enjoys developing software, leading teams in delivering mission critical projects, playing guitar and watching football and basketball."

That doesn't mean anything. What are his LinkedIn credentials? With the caveat that anyone can lie on Linkedin, Mr. Savara appears to be a Software Engineer. Which is fine! I'm glad software engineers exist! But Sid's got nothing in his professional history which suggests he knows shit about finance. So I'm already pretty skeptical of his website, which is increasingly looking like a personal fart-huffing blog.

The article itself repeats the credulous claim made in the Forbes story earlier, but this time, provides no link for the 3% story. Mr. Savara is smarter than his colleages at Forbes, it's much wiser to just make shit up.

HOWEVER. I am not the first person to have followed this rabbit hole. Because at the very top of this article, there is a disclaimer.

Uh oh!

Sid's been called out before, and in the follow up to this article, he reveals the truth.

You can guess where this is going.

So to go back to the VERY beginning of this post, both Pocket/Good Housekeeping and Forbes failed to do even the most basic of research, taking the wild claim that writing down your budget may increase your income by 10x on good faith and the word of a(n admittedly honest about his shortcomings) software engineer.

Why did I spend 30 minutes to make a tumblr post about this? Mostly to show off how smart I am, but also to remind folks of just how flimsy any claim on the internet can be. Click those links, follow those sources, and when the sources stop linking, ask why.