#who am i kidding with that tag. i barely post about my fics
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so finished watching My Adventures with Superman and i honestly loved every minute of it, it was so cute and fun and more importantly true to clark’s character in a way that not a lot of recent superman media is.
and don’t get me wrong most of the superman media i consume, i love because i love superman and have since i was a kid and watched christopher reeves for the first time
but my adventures with superman was just very good!! like it had all my favourite aspects from all my favourite superman media and it was extremely fun to see clark be silly and figure out his powers and get into trouble with jimmy and lois.
i enjoyed the trio’s dynamic so much and reminded me of my own friends which i always think is a sign of good media- like doesn’t matter what we get up to, we’re doing it together and more often than not we can laugh about it.
i LOVED how babygirl they made clark too because yeah he just is, his magical girl transformation was great and his little :3 gave me life.
i loved the conspiracy theorist angle for jimmy, it’s just really fun, i like to imagine that even before they knew lois that jimmy was taking clark out on camping trips to find local crypids and i am so tempted to write a silly fic about various crypid hunting trips they go on and jimmy live blogging them.
i loved loved loved lois!! she’s goofy and girlboss and wants her story but would never do it at the expense of someone she cared about, i’ve seen people complain about her jumping off the building to get clark to reveal himself but in the original movies lois throws herself into niagara falls to try to get his confession. she’s just the amount of weird and driven and caring that lois is meant to be and i loved that !!
but yeah!! i liked it!! and i hope this means we get another season of it!!
#not fanfiction related#who am i kidding with that tag. i barely post about my fics#need to get better at that actually but ANYWAY#needed to go off about this show#genuinely loved every second of it#and if i’m not careful will shove it down my bestie’s throat even thought xe are long suffering with star wars as is#what’s one more animated sci-fi show between friends?#my adventures with superman#maws#shitpost#my unfiltered thoughts on the show
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hi! heard the released “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” (which i’ve seen you’ve heard live, if i’m not mistaken!!) this morning and i don’t know if there’s really a particular vibe/dynamic/ship hrpf-wise (personally haven’t yet been able to put my finger on it) that quite relates but the lyrics have been rotating in my head all day and i was wondering if you had any thoughts? hope you have a good one! <3
OH ANON HAVE I EVER SEEN IT LIVE!!! and the second that song came out i zoomed it straight into my fic playlist and unfortunately there are so many guys this could be. right now the one that's resonating is, of course, the golden boy and his haunted ghost themselves: mcstrome.
i am thinking about connor, specifically, after the stanley cup final. that game seven. how angry he was, how loud the silence when they told him he won the conn smythe. how close he's come before and again and again lost. there's nobody else to blame but himself. he's in the empty room and he knows why (1)
at!! your best!!! you were magic!!! oh, golden boy. connor the anointed, of course. at the very beginning of his career we always knew he was something special and who wouldn't have fallen in love with him? weren't all of us a little bit dylan strome in awe of the generational talent? we were all bathed in radiant light just by being in the vicinity (2)
don't even tell 'em that you know me breaks my heart (3). in terms of building a narrative i think i've said before there is a universe where connor/dylan were together before the draft and to protect both of them, dylan breaks up with him. connor says i love you and dylan says i don't. because he doesn't, you know? he loved connor. he loved davo. he can't be in love with connor mcdavid, first overall pick of the edmonton oilers. i'd rather be hurt forever than have to watch us try to make this work and destroy us.
and after connor mcdavid left the otters, dylan strome captained them to a memorial cup win. what a haunted home, eh? to be captain of the team you and your best friend were on, only now he's left you? don't call me to tell me about your rookie season with the oilers--we both know about your broken collarbone. don't call me to tell about becoming the youngest captain in franchise history when i stepped into the shoes of your captaincy here. don't call me. (4)
narratively: dylan's the one who broke connor's heart and his own but by god it wasn't easy. we both know what happened, you went first overall. please don't make this harder on me. please don't call.
this verse can be about the weight of dylan having to live up to connor's standards and always being measured by him. i would just like to bring up the connor stepping stone chart for absolutely no reason as well (5)
we are, at long last, at the potential future of now: dylan strome, happy, smiling, thriving on the washington capitals. connor, on the oilers. i'm not yours, dylan can say. haven't been for a long time. it took some time but i made this. please don't call and ruin this for me, stay out of my life. i don't want you or need you (6)
[p.s. this took a while because when i received this ask i was a) immediately possessed to write this verse by verse breakdown i had never thought of before and then b) immediately plagued by the idea of making you a little graphic (above the read more) and finally got to do it after banging out all the actual lyric thoughts two (?) weeks ago. emerging two and a half hours later from the fugue state of GIMP with 37 layers in this bad boy hope you enjoy!!!]
#not me being like did i tell y'all about seeing bleachers? and then just proceeded to take it at face value like yeah i probably did#do i remember when or in what context absolutely not. maybe re: popstar jack? also very possible i was just. yapping.#anyway we're gonna put tag footnotes for other potential pairings &dynamics because otherwise this post looks frankly. unhinged. which it i#(1) because i am nothing if not a parody of myself i would like to provide an honorable mention to the death of the goon in this lyric.#when does time stop? when is it just you & your anger? who's the person you've divorced yourself from because you couldn't catch their fist#in case it was not clear this is also incredibly a trade narrative. did we pick that up? this is lovers to enemies. this is we were not goo#for each other and i don't regret that. parise suter fans rise up. the speaker in this case is the minnesota wild org.#(2) there is a note of nostalgia and longing here--when you were magic. i remember when you were a giant to me. i remember the hope#and possibilities. rip to sidney crosby the next one and golden boy of this generation but this is sung like a rookie to the vet they once#idolized. i was sold and maybe i shouldn't have bought it. maybe you tarnished over time. or in a softer light it is a comfort not a#criticism i bought tickets to the show. at your best you really were something and you made me believe i could be magic too. SORRY. dylan.#sorry. he'll come up again later. but every team has a golden boy don't they? do we know the cathal kelly bedard article where he talks abt#eating your prospects alive by building a narrative they can never live up to & promising them every year so that when they can it's a shoc#(3) three line devastation here my god. don't pretend you were kind golden boy! don't you dare tell anyone what you told me because then#they'd know too. the “coming out” narrative of it is discussed but while i don't love this it's the easiest example i have: jamie & trevor#have we heard jamie talk about trevor in a single interview? sometimes after a guy you loved gets traded you don't want the reminder.#it's even worse if he chooses to leave. claude giroux hater-era au arc where we don't talk about him. jt leaving the islanders dead to them#(4) while not a trade the other draft narrative we grew up together to enemies is of course zach and dylan. zach roaming around ann arbor#please also apply to subsequent usntdp team 100/101/102 narratives. alex turcotte i'm sorry they never speak your name you will hurt foreve#(5) to counter the rookie to the vet narrative of the golden boy this is fairly explicitly To Me a vet about his rookie who's supposed to b#the promised one the one who'll save them all. dallas is coming to mind here but not for any real reason. nail yakupov are you there.#taylor hall curse of the 1OA. pretty common also for guys to take in a kid when you're barely 26 yourself & haven't got ur shit figured out#so. dealing with a neurotic driven kid? yeah this is somebody who had a golden boy &fell out of favor. got traded. ty smith j'accuse style#(6) or in another story please don't call because i'll come right back#goodnight chicago the playoff handshake line. please don't call me. please don't call me.#HELLO BESTIE!!!! i think this is a wonderful song for Fic Purposes and could be applied well to SO many different narratives. i picked a#specific example but do feel the dynamic is very much what the song says: toxic ex and/or family/friend you don't need in your life. trades#seguin leaving boston etc etc. there IS an answer eluding me besides mcstrome though. not toxic enough. tk pat trade? OH TK PAT. or older#trade deadline tragedy
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You Me Her
Since AO3 is down and I'm sure people are losing their minds looking for fics (I am people), I'm posting some of my fics over here. If you look in the tag "Mia writes fanfic" you can see all the fic I've posted on tumblr. If you prefer to read on AO3 now that it’s back up, you can find this fic here
Robin was the first person to notice something was wrong with Steve Harrington.
By the end of the day, everyone had noticed. People were whispering up and down the halls, wondering what had happened to Steve since yesterday to make him act so drastically different. He hadn’t flirted with a single girl all day. He’d told Tommy Hagan to “knock it off” when Tommy had started tormenting a freshman. He’d treated his friends weirdly – avoiding Jason Carver, a sophomore on the basketball team who he’d been training, losing patience with Carol Perkins’s snappish remarks, freezing up when some cheerleaders talked to him.
Robin heard all of this second-hand. King Steve was so notorious that even the band kids were gossiping about his personality transplant. Multiple people came up to Robin to share some tidbit of gossip that they insisted proved that Steve had been body-snatched.
But Robin didn’t need rumors to know that Steve Harrington was different. She’d known since first period, when he’d walked into Ms. Click’s class on time and without a bagel. Steve had barely glanced at Tammy, even as she’d looked at him from under her lashes, beautiful and enticing. Instead, Steve had, for the first time in his entire life, looked at Robin.
And he’d smiled at her. Not a polite acknowledgement of her existence – which still would have been more than Robin had ever gotten from him – but a huge, friendly smile. The kind that would have had most girls falling at his feet.
Robin glanced behind her to see if Steve was smiling at someone else, but unless Steve was smiling like that at Fred Benson – even more unlikely – he was definitely directing that expression at her.
Robin spun back to Steve, unsure what her face was communicating. Confusion, maybe, or wide-eyed shock.
Steve didn’t look offended or surprised by her reaction, just gave her a dorky little wave and sat down.
Robin stared at the back of his head, still trying to process what had just happened. Tammy turned to Robin, scanning her up and down. Robin knew she was just trying to figure out what about Robin had caught King Steve’s interest, but her scrutiny made Robin feel all hot anyway. It was Tammy, looking at Robin intently. With purpose. Taking in Robin’s stupid perm and her smudgy makeup and her layers of jewelry.
Robin blushed.
Tammy turned back around.
Ms. Click began talking, but Robin didn’t hear a single word for the rest of class, lost in thought. She alternated between loud mental screaming about the fact that Tammy had looked at her and staring at Steve Harrington’s famous hair and wondering what the hell had inspired him to notice her existence.
Robin was packing in a daze at the end of class when Steve gave her another smile before leaving. Robin accidentally met Tammy’s eyes, which were just as confused as Robin felt.
Tammy bit her lip, which was pink and soft-looking. “Robin? Did you talk to Steve over the weekend?”
Oh my god. Tammy was talking to her. It wasn’t like Tammy never talked to her, but every single time it made Robin lose her mind and babble like a freak.
Robin just shook her head instead of risking opening her mouth.
“Oh,” Tammy said, looking disappointed. “But you like him?”
“No,” Robin said honestly. “I don’t even know him.”
“But you like him,” Tammy said, and this time it wasn’t a question. “I saw you blushing after he smiled at you.”
“I guess so,” Robin said. What else was she supposed to say? She couldn’t tell Tammy that she didn’t give a damn if Steve Harrington looked at her and that the blush had been all for Tammy. That would send Tammy running the other way.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Tammy said. “A lot of girls like Steve.”
She didn’t mention that she was one of those girls, but she didn’t need to. Robin knew.
Maybe it would be okay to pretend to like Steve. It would give her and Tammy something in common and it would help her hide in plain sight. Steve was the perfect fake crush for a lesbian, pretty and athletic enough to be an acceptable crush, but unattainable enough that she would never have to act on it. Robin had never faked a crush on him before because of the principle of the thing, but now that she’d accidentally already done it, she might as well keep up the pretense.
“Today must have been a fluke,” Robin told Tammy, trying to sound both reassuring and lovelorn. She didn’t want Tammy to see her as a threat. She wanted her to see her as a friend. “I don’t think Steve even knows my name.”
***
But Steve kept smiling at her for the rest of the week and on Thursday, Tammy asked Robin if she wanted to hang out after school.
“Really?” Robin asked. Then, “I mean, yeah, sure. Sounds fun.”
So Robin went to Tammy’s house with the rest of Tammy’s friends. Apparently they did this every Thursday — Friday and Saturday were date nights, which made Thursday the perfect girls’ night.
They went up to Tammy’s room, which was like peeking into her mind. The other girls paid no attention to the room, probably having seen it a million times. They settled on the floor, spreading bowls of chips and chocolates around and pulling out magazines and nail polish. But Robin couldn’t help but try to take in every detail of the room. The walls were pink and the curtains and bedspread a gauzy white, giving everything a bit of a princess feel. But there were posters on the wall, and not the kind Robin had expected. There weren’t handsome movie stars — these were girls with guitars.
“Who’s that?” Robin asked, pointing at a poster of a girl with long straight hair, standing over a microphone and holding a guitar.
Tammy twisted to see who Robin was pointing to. “That’s Emmylou Harris. She’s incredible. She was one of the first women to really make it big in country music.”
“So you want to be like her?” Robin asked.
Tammy blushed a little, playing with the end of her long blonde curls. “I mean, I don’t know if I’m as good as Emmylou Harris. But that’s the dream.”
“You’re really good,” Robin said sincerely. “I heard you singing Kiss On My List before class the other day and it was-“ captivating. life-changing. beautiful. “Really good,” Robin finished lamely.
“Thank you,” Tammy said, looking touched.
One of Tammy’s friends — Olivia? — rolled her eyes. “Tam, we didn’t invite Robin here to talk about your singing. We want to hear about Steve Harrington!”
The two other girls — Karen and Melissa — giggled and nodded their agreement.
“What did you do to get his attention?” Olivia asked Robin.
Robin tried not to obviously deflate. She wanted to talk to Tammy about her passions, see the way Tammy lit up when she smiled. She didn’t want to gossip about stupid boys, especially not Steve Harrington.
But that was why they’d invited her over. Her fake crush on Steve was her in with these girls, with Tammy, and she had to make them believe her if she wanted to be invited to spend more time with him.
“I don’t know,” Robin said honestly. “I’ve sat behind him all year and I didn’t think he knew I existed. And then all of a sudden on Monday — bam! — he’s acting like he knows me.”
Melissa hummed, passing around bottles of nail polish. “Maybe it’s your hair? Did you perm it recently? Cause Heather Holloway says Steve has a thing for girls with curly hair.”
Tammy frowned at her own hair and shook her head. “Robin’s hair has been like that all year.”
Tammy had watched Robin closely enough to notice what she did with her hair? Robin bit down on a smile, grabbing blue nail polish from Melissa.
“Did you go to the party last weekend?” Karen asked.
Robin shook her head. She’s actually spend last weekend reading a book, listening to her language tapes, and playing board games with her parents. Nothing that could be remotely considered cool.
“Did you look particularly pretty on Monday?” Olivia asked.
Robin shrugged. “I think I just looked how I always do.”
Tammy put on a Kris Kristofferson record then sat down beside Robin again. “I guess we’ll just have to watch what he does in class. Collect more information.”
“I guess so,” Robin said, hoping Steve forgot her existence soon for her own sake. She didn’t know what she would do if he actually asked her out.
But maybe if he kept giving her attention she could keep this new friendship with Tammy, at least for a little while.
Robin sighed, loud and long.
“Don’t worry,” Tammy said, “We’ll figure it out.”
“And you don’t… mind?” Robin asked. “I know you like him too. I don’t want to break girl code or something.”
Robin had never worried about breaking girl code before, for obvious reasons, but she’d seen girls fall out over liking the same guy.
Olivia snorted. “Please. Girl code doesn’t count when it comes to Steve Harrington. He’s slept with half the school.”
“Yeah, everyone knows he’s just a good time,” Karen added. “He doesn’t actually date girls for real.”
“I went out with him for two weeks in middle school,” Melissa said. “We made it to second base and then he dumped me for Erica Tanner.”
“You’re in good company here,” Olivia promised.
Tammy still hadn’t spoken. Tammy was focused on painting her nails bright pink, a color Robin would never choose for herself but that perfectly matched with Tammy’s pink cheeks and pink lips, which she was biting.
Because Tammy cared, Robin realized. Steve might be the school slut, and he might never date a girl seriously, but Tammy liked him for real.
Melissa, Olivia, and Karen were now arguing over whether Melissa’s two-week fling with Steve Harrington counted as a relationship. They seemed sufficiently distracted, so Robin dropped her voice low and leaned into Tammy’s space.
“Do you mind?” she asked Tammy. “Because I can back off.”
“No,” Tammy said, smile pretty and entirely a lie. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”
Robin didn’t know what to do with that. Was Tammy trying to save face by not admitting she had a real crush on Steve Harrington? Was this her way of testing if Robin was worthy friend-material? How was Steve fucking Harrington Robin’s key to getting to know Tammy and also the one who was mostly likely to ruin this new friendship?
“Okay,” Robin said, staring at her nails so she wouldn’t have to figure out what facial expression was appropriate. She cleared her throat. “So you were telling me about Emmylou Harris?”
***
Steve Harrington came up to Robin at her locker on Friday, when she was getting the books she needed to take home for the weekend.
“Hey,” he said, like it wasn’t supremely weird that he was approaching Robin Buckley, band geek and wallflower and no one who ever should have caught his eye.
“Hi?” Robin answered.
Steve ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you want to go to the diner with me? We could get milkshakes.”
Robin stared at him. Was this a joke? A prank? Had one of his friends dared him to ask out the weird band kid?
“What?” Robin asked.
Steve rubbed the back of his neck. He looked nervous, which was crazy. He was Steve Harrington and she was just Robin Buckley.
“I can drive us,” Steve said. “And I’ll pay.”
“I’m not going on a date with you,” Robin said. It was a gut reaction, but a second later Robin couldn’t help but wonder if she should have said yes. What was she going to tell Tammy about why she’d turned down her supposed crush?
But why was Steve Harrington even asking her out in the first place?
Steve didn’t look offended at her rejection, but he did hurry to say, “I know. I didn’t mean as a date.”
Robin looked down the hall. A group of cheerleaders at one end was watching them, giggling and tittering. Had the cheerleaders put him up to this? Girls could be vicious, but trying to embarrass a girl by having a boy ask her out seemed like a more guy type of prank somehow.
“You want to hang out with me just as friends,” Robin said skeptically.
“Yeah,” Steve said.
Robin rolled her eyes. “Right. Thanks, but no thanks.”
“I mean it,” Steve said. “I want to be friends.”
He was lying. Robin didn’t know why, but he was lying. Maybe he thought that if she hung out with him as “friends” she would eventually change her mind and agree to date him.
“Why?” Robin demanded. “Why would you want to be friends with me?”
Steve opened his mouth, then paused. He thought for a few seconds before he said, “You seem cool.”
Robin snorted. “I’m the furthest thing from cool.”
“No, I know,” Steve said. “I mean you seem… interesting. Nice. Fun.”
“You don’t even know me,” Robin said. “We’ve never spoken, and now all of a sudden you’re interested in me? I don’t buy it.”
“It’s true,” Steve said. He jumped as a hand landed on his arm and then Carol Perkins was there, staring Robin down with disdain in her eyes.
“What are you doing?” Carol asked.
“I was asking Robin to milkshakes,” Steve said.
Carol gave Robin an up-and-down and it didn’t feel good like when Tammy had done it. Carol wasn’t admiring her. She was looking at Robin like gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe.
“Are you that bored of going out with pretty girls?” Carol asked, voice all fake-interested like it was a real question.
Steve scowled, shaking Carol’s hand off his arm. “Robin’s pretty.”
Carol rolled her eyes. “She’s not terrible, I guess, under that bad perm, but she dresses like a dyke. If you want to rebel and date a freak or a charity case, you can do better.”
Robin flinched violently when Carol said the word dyke. She fought to keep her expression straight even as her heart raced and her lungs constricted.
Did Carol Perkins know? Or had she blindly thrown out an insult, hoping it would hurt?
“Don’t call her that,” Steve snapped, his face dark and furious. He looked frightening enough that Robin skittered back half a step.
Carol didn’t look scared of Steve, but her mouth did drop open in shock.
That was fair. Robin was shocked too.
Was Steve defending her?
Maybe this was what it meant to be a girl Steve Harrington liked. Maybe he didn’t like Carol calling Robin a dyke because that was an offense to his own masculinity. That was the only thing that made sense. Robin had heard Steve throw around gay slurs just last week, so it couldn’t be the word itself that he had a problem with.
“Seriously, Steve?” Carol asked, haughty and judgmental. “You can’t actually like her.”
“Robin is great,” Steve insisted.
Carol rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll remind you of this when you come to your senses.”
With that, Carol spun on her heels – red hair smacking Steve in the face – and walked away.
Steve’s posture loosened, like he had also perceived Carol as a threat.
“I’m sorry,” he told Robin, looking sincere and apologetic.
Robin hated him.
“Stay the fuck away from me” Robin told Steve.
She slammed her locker and walked away, clutching her books to her chest to hide her shaking hands. She kept her head up as she walked by the cheerleaders, who laughed loudly as she passed.
***
Steve kept smiling at her whenever he walked into Click’s class, but he didn’t try to ask her out again.
He looked a bit like a kicked puppy every time she glared back at him, but Robin didn’t care.
“What are you doing?” Tammy asked one day after class. “He’s going to give up on you if you keep glaring at him like that.”
“He asked me out as a joke,” Robin told Tammy.
Tammy frowned. “Are you sure it was a joke? I don’t think he would do that.”
“I’m sure,” Robin said darkly, thinking of Carol hovering and the cheerleaders watching. Did Steve believe what Carol had said? Was that the joke: to put Robin in a position where she had to either go on a date with a man she didn’t like or else turn him down and confirm she was a lesbian? What kind of girl said no to a date with Steve Harrington?
Tammy bit her lip. She had on bright pink lipstick today. It would have looked tacky on anyone else, but it made Tammy look like a pop star. Robin wondered if the lipstick was flavored. She wished she could kiss Tammy and find out.
“You don’t mind if I flirt with him, right?” Tammy asked, echoing Robin’s words at her house last week. So far, Robin hadn’t been invited to girls’ night again.
Yes, Robin thought. Yes, I mind. I mind so much, but not for the reason that you think.
“Not at all,” Robin said. “It’s like you said, girl code doesn’t apply to Steve Harrington. Go for it.”
So Tammy kept trying to get Steve’s attention. He was nice to her. He never outright ignored her when she talked to him, but he never talked to her for longer than politeness required. He would always turn away, missing the way Tammy’s face fell.
And he kept fucking smiling at Robin. Picking up her books when she dropped them. Apologizing to her when he got bagel crumbs on the floor, even though she’d never mentioned how much it annoyed her. Turning to catch her eye when someone said something funny, like he thought she was someone he could share inside jokes with.
Slowly, Tammy stopped smiling at Robin. She started flicking annoyed glances in Robin’s direction whenever Steve gave Robin attention. Started snapping at Robin whenever Robin tried to sympathize with her about how much of a douchebag Steve Harrington was. Started avoiding Robin unless Robin directly started conversation with her.
Steve Harrington was ruining everything.
***
“What are you doing?” Robin demanded. She’d chased Steve after Ms. Click’s class, following him to the little alley out by the gym. She was going to be late for math, but she didn’t care. She needed to talk to him before he ruined everything.
Steve frowned as he lit up a cigarette. “What do you mean?”
“In Click’s class,” Robin said. “Tammy is practically throwing herself at you but you never even look her way. And I don’t talk to you at all, but you keep trying to talk to me.”
A flash of something crossed Steve’s face, but Robin didn’t know him well enough to read his expressions and it was gone in a heartbeat anyway.
“You don’t want me to talk to you?” Steve asked.
“Yes!” Robin said. “No. I don’t know. Why won’t you flirt with Tammy?”
Steve’s face scrunched up. It was a face Robin had seen before when they were taking tests in class – it meant Steve had no idea what was going on. “You’re upset because I’m not flirting with Tammy Thompson?”
“I don’t get it!” Robin said. “She’s really nice and she’s a good singer and she’s really pretty. Objectively. I mean, she seems like the Steve Harrington type.”
“Right,” Steve said, his lips twitching like she had said something funny.
“So I don’t get it,” Robin said. “She’s right there, and I don’t even try, but you keep looking. What’s so special about me?”
“Oh,” Steve said, like he had just realized something. “She’s jealous of you.”
Robin shuffled but didn’t say anything. Of course Tammy was jealous. Steve sat next to her every day, did he really not see it?
“And you don’t like that,” Steve continued, like he was figuring something out. Unfortunately, he was figuring out entirely the wrong thing. Robin wasn’t here to talk to Steve about her friendship with Tammy, she was here to find out why Steve didn’t like Tammy and why he seemed to like her.
“It’s not about me,” Robin said.
“Right,” Steve said, inhaling his stupid carcinogens. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Robin asked. She was pretty sure she was smarter than Steve Harrington, so she didn’t know why she was the one feeling lost in this conversation.
Steve stubbed out his cigarette against the wall. “I’ll fix it.”
The late bell rang. Robin wanted to ask Steve what he’d understood from this conversation, but she really did need to go to math class. Arriving late wasn’t a good way to fly under the radar.
“Okay,” she told Steve, not quite sure what she was agreeing to.
He gave her another one of those big smiles as she left the alleyway. It made something churn in her gut.
She wanted to be the kind of girl who got excited when Steve Harrington smiled at her like that. She wanted Tammy Thompson to smile at her like that. She wanted to fall in love with someone who loved her back, and she wanted to not get chased out of town by an angry mob with pitchforks for it.
***
The next time Robin walked into Ms. Click’s class, Steve was flirting with Tammy.
Robin had to stop in the middle of the aisle, feeling like she’d just been punched in the gut.
Tammy was leaning into Steve’s space, twirling her blonde curls around one finger. Steve was smiling at her, arm stretched over the back of her chair, listening attentively as she spoke.
Robin forced herself to walk mechanically to her desk. She took her notebook and pencil case out of her backpack and very carefully arranged everything on her desk, doing anything she could to prolong looking up. She didn’t want to watch this.
After what felt like the longest few minutes of Robin’s life, Ms. Click began talking. Robin risked looking up and saw that Steve had pulled his arm back and Tammy was sitting in her own seat again.
She couldn't stop seeing them wrapped up in each other.
At the end of class, Steve walked out quickly, the way he always did. Robin wondered if he always went to smoke behind the gym and that was why he ran away so fast.
Tammy whirled to Robin, squealing, her face lit up in a beautiful smile.
“Robin! Did you see that!”
Tammy hadn’t started a conversation with Robin in two weeks. Robin managed a real smile in the face of Tammy’s happiness.
“I did,” she said.
“I think he likes me,” Tammy said, almost shy, playing with the bracelets on her wrist.
“Yeah,” Robin said, ignoring the sinking feeling in her gut. “I think so too.”
***
The rumors at band practice told Robin that Steve was still flirting with other girls. He seemed particularly interested in Nancy Wheeler, who was a priss and a nerd but who was pretty and definitely his type. He seemed to be slowly wearing her down.
It made Robin furious. So Steve Harrington had a crush on Nancy Wheeler, fine, that made sense. But if he really liked her, and the rumors said he was absolutely head-over-heels, then what was he doing playing with Tammy and Robin? What the fuck was he up to?
***
A week later, Steve didn’t run out of Click’s class at the first sound of the bell. Instead he turned to Tammy and Robin and said, “I’m having a party at my house tonight. You’re both invited.”
“I’ll think about it,” Tammy said, smiling like this was a game. It was. They all knew Tammy would be going to see Steve and she was just trying to play it cool.
“Cool,” Steve said. He met Tammy’s eyes, then Robin's. “I’ll see you there.”
Tammy waited until he walked away, then did a little shimmy of excitement. It was kind of lame, but also hopelessly endearing. Robin liked when Tammy didn’t try to act cool around her.
“You’re going?” Robin asked dully.
“Of course I’m going!” Tammy said. “This is going to be so much fun! You’re coming, right?”
“Yeah,” Robin said, her mouth running before her brain could catch up with it. Tammy wanted her there. What else could she do? “I’ll be there.”
***
Robin got her dad to drop her off at the party. She was willing to bet she was the only teenager being dropped off by their dad, but her parents weren’t the type to be upset about her going out and they trusted her to drink responsibly. Plus, Robin couldn’t drive, so she didn’t know how else she was supposed to get there.
By the time she arrived, the party was already in full swing. Music came from inside the house and a few people spilled out into the yard.
Robin headed inside, dodging around a few couples making out against the hallway walls. Tammy was probably here already, right? Robin passed through the kitchen, filling a red solo cup with a tiny amount of vodka and a lot of coke. Jason Carver was there, flirting with Chrissy Cunningham, who was blushing at the attention.
Robin slipped into the living room and that was where she found Tammy. She was standing against a wall, surrounded by Olivia, Melissa, and Karen. Tammy was holding a red solo cup and staring out at the other end of the living room.
Robin followed her gave to Steve, who was talking to… Eddie Munson? Robin watched with her jaw slack until Steve came away with a grin and a joint between his fingers.
That made sense, actually. Of course the only reason Steve Harrington would ever speak to Eddie Munson would be to buy drugs.
Robin went up to Tammy, hovering at the edge of the group as she said “hi.”
“Hey,” Tammy said, giving her a distracted smile.
“I like your dress,” Robin said. She wanted to say that Tammy looked good, but that wasn’t a safe compliment.
“Thanks,” Tammy said. “I got it in Indy.”
“It’s cute,” Robin said. It was — pink and ruffled at the edges and unlike anything anyone else was wearing. Something that screamed Tammy Thompson.
The music went quiet for a moment, and Robin spun around, trying to figure out why. Carol Perkins was standing by the speakers.
“Let’s play a game!” she said, blowing a bubble with her gum like the picture of teenage insouciance. “Truth or dare.”
She sat on the ground, Tommy Hagan and Steve Harrington sitting beside her. A few more jocks joined — Jason and Andy from the basketball team, Chrissy and Fiona from the cheerleading squad. Heather Holloway and Patrick and Brenda.
“We have to join!” Tammy said. She grabbed Robin’s hand and dragged her over to the circle.
Robin complied in a daze. Tammy was holding her hand. Tammy’s hand was soft and warm and not sweaty at all and Robin could die happy, Tammy’s hand in hers.
Tammy released her as soon as they got to the circle and Robin felt suddenly bereft, taking a seat mechanically beside her. Melissa, Karen, and Olivia sat on Tammy’s other side.
Steve Harrington was looking in her direction, eyebrows up, and Robin scowled at him. Steve smiled, hands up like he was saying don’t shoot, and Carol noticed and shot Robin a glare.
“Tommy,” Steve said. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Tommy said.
Steve grinned. “I dare you to let Carol take a body shot off you.”
Tommy scrunched up his face. “Don’t you mean I should take a shot off her?”
Steve blinked, absolutely nothing behind his eyes. “What do you mean?”
So Tommy lay down and balanced a shot glass on his stomach, so low it was practically on his hips, and Carol grabbed it with her mouth, tipping her head back to drink. Robin didn’t like Carol at all, but she had to admit there was something attractive about it, about the long line of Carol’s throat as she drank the shot and the dainty, self-satisfied way she wiped her mouth afterward.
From there, they kept going around the circle.
Heather Holloway gave Andy a lap dance. Fiona admitted to having done mushrooms. Jason Carver was dared to kiss the prettiest girl in the circle, which made him turn to Chrissy Cunningham and say “A good girl like you deserves better than some drunken kiss during truth or dare. What do you say I take you out to dinner tomorrow and then give you a kiss on your front porch at the end of the night?”
Chrissy’s smile was disarmingly wide. “Yeah,” she said, nodding. “That sounds nice.”
“It’s a date,” Jason said. A few of the boys hollered and whooped, patting Jason on the back and shaking him a little. Jason looked bashful, hiding a smile behind a sip of his drink.
“Finally!” Carol Perkins said. She turned to Chrissy. “He’s been pining over you since last year and it took him this long to work up the guts to ask you out.”
Jason screeched at Carol, who ignored him and winked at a pleased-looking Chrissy. Robin was hit with the sudden realization that Carol Perkins could be nice, when she wanted to be.
Melissa got dared to swap clothes with Patrick, Karen revealed she’d shoplifted a pair of earrings once, and Olivia admitted to having made out with a boy in the school janitor’s closet.
Then it was Tammy’s turn.
“Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Tammy said, something brave in her eyes.
A few of the girls conferred together — Carol and Heather and Fiona — before turning to Tammy with smiles on their faces. “We dare you to shotgun with Steve.”
Tammy’s eyes went wide. Robin didn’t think Tammy was the type to smoke weed, but Tammy pressed a confident smile onto her face. Maybe she didn’t want to back down from a dare. Maybe she just wanted a chance to press her mouth against Steve Harrington’s.
Steve looked at her from all the way across the circle — if he, Tommy, and Carol were the North Pole, Tammy and Robin were the South, the antipodal point — and raised the joint questioningly.
“Okay,” Tammy said.
Steve took a drag off the joint and crawled across the circle. Tammy met him in the middle and he was gentle as he used one hand to tip her chin up, pressing his lips against hers and exhaling. Robin could only really see the back of Tammy’s head, but she was hit by a burning jealousy at the way Steve so casually touched her.
It felt like it had been years since Tammy had held her hand.
Tammy sat back beside Robin, a pleased little smile on her face.
“Band kid,” Carol said, smiling meanly. “Truth or dare.”
Robin shuffled uncomfortably. So far all the dares had involved some kind of sexual display with the opposite sex and Robin did not want to kiss a boy or give him a lap dance. But she also had a lot of secrets she didn’t really feel like sharing.
She should pick truth, right? Worst come to worst, she could just lie. It’s not like any of these people would ever know — none of them really knew her.
“Truth,” Robin said.
Chrissy started to say something, but Carol spoke over her. “Who was your first kiss?”
Robin’s cheeks flamed. Carol was doing this on purpose.
“I haven’t had my first kiss yet,” Robin said, trying to sound casual. It wasn’t that unusual, at least in the circles she ran with.
But Carol reacted with extreme shock, her eyes going wide, her mouth dropping open. “Ever? That’s so sad!”
“Not really,” Robin said. Everyone was staring at her. She’d spent months trying to fly under the radar, and now they were all watching her and it was just as terrible as she’d thought it would be.
Carol kept going. “But why haven’t you kissed anyone? Aren’t there any boys you like?”
It would have been fine if Carol hadn’t paused a little, put more emphasis on the word boys. But Carol knew what she was doing, insinuating exactly what she had when she’d stood with Steve by Robin’s locker.
Everyone in the circle was staring at Robin. Jason Carver looked disgusted. Tammy pulled back a bit from Robin’s side.
Robin felt like she was going to throw up.
Then Steve Harrington scoffed. All eyes moved to him, to see what the King was going to say. Steve was relaxed, weight back on one hand, legs kicked out in front of him. “Not everyone is a slut, Carol.”
The like you went unspoken, but Robin saw it land. Carol’s face scrunched up with real hurt for a second, like she wasn’t sure why Steve was attacking her.
Tommy, sitting between them, gave Steve a what the fuck look as he pulled Carol into his side.
Steve either didn’t see any of this or pretended not to. He turned to Patrick, sitting next to Robin on the opposite side as Tammy, and said “truth or dare?”
Robin relaxed. It was over, right? They weren’t looking at her anymore?
She glanced around the circle and it seemed like everyone had moved on. A sneaky glance at Tammy showed that she wasn’t sitting as close to Robin as before, but she also wasn’t looking particularly repulsed. Maybe she had just forgotten to move back again.
Robin didn’t really believe it.
She tried to calm her racing heart as the next few people went. But when it was Steve Harrington’s turn, she couldn’t help but tune in.
“Steve,” Tommy Hagan said. “Truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Steve said, like every teenage jock ever.
Carol leaned over and whispered in Tommy’s ear and Tommy grinned. “I dare you to kiss Robin Buckley.”
Robin’s blood turned to ice. Once again, all heads in the circle swiveled to her.
Robin didn’t want to kiss Steve Harrington. She had been saving her first kiss because she wanted it to be special. She could have pretended to like a boy, to kiss a boy, to date a boy. But she had wanted to save all her firsts for a girl — to have them be real and meaningful instead of a stupid farce.
She didn’t have a choice though. Not after what Carol had implied earlier. If Robin didn’t kiss Steve, she would practically be confirming that she was a lesbian.
Robin looked to Carol, who was smirking at her.
“Yeah,” Robin said shakily. “Okay.”
Steve was watching her intently, something indecipherable in his eyes. He got to his feet and crossed the circle, kneeling down in front of her.
Robin didn’t think she’d ever been this close to a boy. He smelled like hairspray and beer, and his eyes were brown and serious as she watched her.
He gave her the same friendly smile he’d been giving her all semester, then leaned in to whisper in her ear. His breath was uncomfortably hot on her skin as he said, “trust me.”
Then he pulled back and squared his shoulders, cocky and unapologetic about it. He smirked around the circle, a boy proud to be showing off that he was kissing a pretty girl.
Robin was going to throw up. Her heart was pounding and she was going to have to kiss a boy and Steve had been playing games with her all semester.
Robin closed her eyes, preparing for the kiss and also trying to hide the hot tears she could feel building up.
She jumped a bit when Steve’s hands landed on her face. He wasn’t holding her jaw delicately like he’d done to Tammy. Both of Steve’s giant palms where splayed across her cheeks, one of them half caught in her hair, dragging it in front of her face. Great. Her first kiss was going to taste like hair and that wasn’t even going to be the worst part of it.
Robin kept her eyes screwed shut as Steve’s skin pressed against her lips and his nose bumped hers and — those weren’t Steve’s lips.
Steve was close, yes, so close they were sharing the same air. So close that it probably looked like they were kissing.
But this was a stage kiss. Steve’s thumb was over Robin’s mouth, his lips pressed to one side and hers to the other.
Robin opened her eyes in shock. She couldn’t really see Steve — he was too close not to be blurry — but his eyes were pressed closed, brown eyelashes fanned over his cheeks. As if this were a real kiss.
Where had basketball-playing, prom king Steve Harrington even learned what a stage kiss was? This couldn’t be standard practice for the popular kids — they played these games as an excuse to kiss each other, not to fake it.
And more importantly, why was he doing this? Was he that opposed to kissing her? Or had he somehow noticed her reluctance and decided to protect her while allowing both of them to save face?
Steve used his hands to tilt Robin’s head and she followed without resistance. He pressed closer, moving her back, and they still weren’t kissing but it probably looked like they were making out. Like he was into this. Like she was.
Robin closed her eyes. She could figure out the mystery that was Steve Harrington later. Right now, she had to help Steve sell this.
She raised her hands to Steve’s shoulders, pulling him closer, hoping he wouldn’t misinterpret her sudden ardor as a request for a real kiss.
He let out a little moan, his nose brushing hers as he tipped his head, and she smiled against his thumb. Holy shit. They were totally faking it and everyone was going to think she was a good enough kisser to make Steve Harrington moan.
After a long moment, Steve pulled back, simultaneously slipping his thumb to the side so it wouldn’t be over her mouth.
He stayed in her space a second longer, eyes locked with Robin’s. He seemed pleased with himself, or maybe with her shocked expression.
He licked his lips and Robin copied him automatically. Her lips tasted like beer and smoke but it was from Steve’s hand, not his lips, and that made all the difference.
Someone wolf-whistled.
Steve backed away, returning to his seat next to Tommy Hagan. Robin was speechless as the room returned to focus.
Carol looked pissed. Tommy was elbowing Steve, leaning in to tease him.
“Damn, Harrington,” said some basketball jock Robin didn’t know. “I didn’t know you were into band nerds.”
“That was a hell of a first kiss,” another one said.
Steve smiled, cocky and pleased and bashful all at once. He was a better actor than Robin had ever given him credit for.
Tammy nudged Robin, and that’s when Robin realized she was still staring at Steve, dumb with awe.
As everyone turned to Tommy Hagan, Tammy leaned in and whispered, “it looks like you really enjoyed that kiss.”
She was trying to smile, trying to gently tease like a friend would, but Robin could see the heartbreak in her expression. Robin wished she could tell Tammy that it had all been for show and that she hadn’t actually kissed Steve, but Tammy had pulled away at the accusation that Robin was a lesbian and only been okay touching her again after that performance of a kiss.
This wasn’t a world where Robin got to have both Steve and Tammy.
“Yeah,” Robin said, surprised to find she was telling the truth. She was glad she’d been dared to kiss Steve and not any other boy here. There were apparently layers to Steve Harrington, who she’d thought was nothing more than a pretty, empty-headed, girl-obsessed jock.
She kind of wanted to know more about him.
She glanced across the circle. Steve was watching Tommy try to do a handstand, until Tommy overbalanced and fell into Steve’s lap, making him yelp. Steve laughed as he leaned over Tommy, asking if he was okay, and Tommy’s eyes lit up in a way Robin recognized. The way she had probably lit up when Tammy had taken her hand.
In that moment, Robin felt like she understood something about all of them.
Carol’s frozen smile as she watched her boyfriend beam at Steve. The way Tommy pretended to fumble a bit climbing off Steve’s lap, if only to stay there a second longer. And Steve’s sharp eyes, catching Tommy’s adoration and Carol’s pain.
“You’re too high, man,” Steve said, waving his joint in a big circle. Giving Tommy cover in case anyone else had noticed what Robin had.
“Way too high,” Carol agreed, snatching the joint from Steve’s fingers. She took a long drag, then blew the smoke out, passed the joint back to Steve, and curled into Tommy’s side.
Tommy and Carol looked like the picture of a happy couple and Robin realized it was another type of performance. Had Carol known before she started dating Tommy? Or had she fallen in love with him first, only realizing he liked Steve when it was too late to stop her heart from being broken?
Robin didn’t want to feel sympathy for Carol Perkins, who had tried so hard to ruin Robin’s night. But she pitied her a little, watching her playact at being happy and realizing that they were all doing it. All these stupid popular kids were just pretending to be shiny, happy people and the rest of the school was buying it, standing too far away to see the imperfections that would have been obvious up close.
Steve met Robin’s eyes across the circle, bringing the joint to his lips. His eyes were perfectly clear, pupils small, not like someone who had been smoking at all. Another slight of hand, like the stage kiss.
“I think he likes you back,” Tammy said.
Robin looked at Tammy, who was faking a smile just like the rest of the popular kids. Why hadn’t Robin seen it before? Tammy was brave and Tammy was kind, but she hid those parts of herself, trying to seem just as cookie-cutter perfect as the rest of the people in this circle.
Robin didn’t want cookie-cutter perfect. She wanted real.
She still didn’t want to break Tammy’s heart, so she said something she didn’t really believe about Steve. Not anymore.
“Maybe,” Robin said. “But like you said, he’s just a good time. He’ll be over me in two weeks.”
***
On Monday, Robin found Steve at his locker after school.
His eyes went wide as she came up to him and he smiled at her. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Robin said. She kicked the toes of her converse together. She’d spent all of yesterday doodling on them while watching tv. Maybe it was stupid, given how close Carol had come to outing her, but Robin was feeling a little bulletproof. She’d written I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on your sister in pen on the whites of her shoes.
Steve looked down at her feet and smiled. “Nice artwork.”
Robin froze, even though there was no way Steve could read her shoes while standing up. “Thanks,” she said stiffly. “I thought they could use some, uh, personality?”
“I like them better this way,” Steve said.
Robin cleared her throat. “Do you, uh, wanna get milkshakes? You’re paying, of course.”
Steve’s eyes lit up. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “I’ll buy you however many milkshakes you want.”
Robin rolled her eyes. “Do girls really fall for this desperate act?”
“I’m much cooler around girls I’m interested in,” Steve said. Robin believed him this time. He’d put his thumb over her mouth and then swaggered like he’d kissed her and she trusted him in a way she hadn’t before.
She was dying to know why he’d done it.
“So it’s just your friends that you bribe into liking you,” Robin teased.
“Yeah,” Steve said, shameless. “Usually more with free rides and arcade money, but I’ve used ice cream before.”
“You’re so weird,” Robin blurted out. Then she froze. It was practically social suicide to call Steve Harrington weird.
But Steve didn’t get mad. He just laughed and said “you have no idea.”
“Yo, Harrington,” called a basketball player walking down the hall. “Hurry up, you’ll be late for practice.”
“I’m not going today!” Steve called back. “I’m sick.” He gave a very unconvincing cough.
The basketball player rolled his eyes. “Lovesick, maybe.”
Steve scowled playfully. “Fuck off, man.”
“I’ll tell Coach you’re too pussy-whipped to play,” the basketball player said.
“Don’t you dare!” Steve called. Robin expected him to sound more offended at being called pussy-whipped. No teenage boy wanted to be told he would do anything a girl told him to do, even in exchange for sex. And Steve was definitely not getting sex. But the insult rolled off Steve like water off a duck’s back. “Tell him I have the flu.”
“Sure, sure, whatever.” The boy rolled his eyes as he disappeared around the corner.
Steve closed his locker. “Ready to go?”
“You’re not going to basketball?”
“No,” Steve said. “We’re getting milkshakes. I’m not giving up a chance to make Robin Buckley my best friend.”
“Aren’t you, like, first chair?” Robin said. She watched a lot of basketball games by virtue of being in band, she knew it was called starting line. But she enjoyed seeing Steve’s face scrunch up at her words.
Steve groaned. “God, that is annoying. Remind me to stop calling Dustin’s campaigns his nerd practices.”
“Who’s Dustin and what are campaigns?”
“A kid I babysit, and a Dungeons and Dragons game.”
Robin blinked. “Dungeons and Dragons? That Hellfire game?”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “He’s not in high school yet, so he doesn’t play with Eddie as his DM, but I’m sure he’ll join in a few years.”
DM? Was that some Hellfire term?
Apparently the new Steve Harrington knew the terms to nerd games. He stage-kissed lesbians at parties and thought it was worth skipping basketball practice for a chance to be Robin’s friend.
“Who are you?” Robin asked. “And what have you done with Steve?”
“I’m a time traveller from the future,” Steve said.
Robin laughed. What a nerd. “No, really.”
Steve started walking backwards down the hallway, keys swinging around his fingers. “I’ll tell you over milkshakes.”
He held a hand out to her, beckoning, a hopeful smile on his face, and it didn’t feel like a joke anymore. Robin had no clue why, but Steve Harrington really wanted to be her friend.
Robin peeled herself off the lockers and took Steve’s hand, their fingers twining together, letting him pull her outside.
#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#ao3#because ao3 is down#robin buckley#Steve harrington#carol perkins#stobin#platonic stobin#time travel fanfiction#mia writes fanfic
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The werewolves of Stonemill ☆2☆ COD
[Chapter 1] ☆ [chapter 2]
MDNI ☆ MDNI☆ MDNI ☆ MDNI ☆ MDNI☆ MDNI ☆ MDNI
(These first two chapters aren't too dark, so they will be posted here. The rest of the fic will only be updated on A03)((unless I decide something else))
☆ Fem!reader x Poly!TF141☆ explicit ☆ wip ☆ 2/12 ☆ 2.7k words.
☆summary: You had been living your best life in Stonemill for a little over half a decade by now. A lone shewolf living in the town and working at the local bar, surrounded by a lush nature to roam through at night, a perfect piece of Paradise in Montana. A place you DO'NT want to share with any other werewolves. So, when a group of men turns up, buying a big house and stinking of alpha werewolves, you're territory is threatened - and these men doesn't seem to get it into their thick heads, that they need to leave. In fact, the assholes become rather interested in you, trying to get you to join their pack. You just want them to leave, one way or another - but it seems like they won't take no for an answer.
☆tags: Dead dove don't eat, werewolves, mention of graphic violence, dark!141, poly!141, afab!reader, omegaverse, dub-con, non-con, werewolf AU, foursomes, fivesomes, heat, scenting, hunting, killing animals, chubby reader, forced bonding, kidnapping, non-con touching, non-con drug use.
(These first two chapters aren't too dark, so they will be posted here. The rest of the fic will only be updated on A03)
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
“Fae!”
Luna barely made it inside the bar before she was yelling your name, making you jump at the sight of your friend, almost spilling the beer, worried for just a second - until you saw her grin. Oh, that kind of grin meant she had news, or well, gossip to be more exact.
You finished filling up the glass for one of the regulars, smiling at the older gentleman who went back to watch some sort of sport show at the small television in the corner with the others.
“Faefaefae-” Luna didn’t even stop, almost crawling over the desk, as you gave her shoulder a gentle tap.
“Calm down,” you said, before turning around and getting her a bottle of sparkling water as you knew she preferred, “tell me then, what is so important that you’re screaming my name?”
Technically it was just your nickname, but those tended to stick in this town. Not that you minded. First halloween in Stonemill, where you dressed up as a fairy and your fate was sealed.
“Somebody bought the Johnson family house,” her voice was in a dramatic whisper, eyes wide, “full price even.”
That did make you pause and blink. The Johnson family house was at the edge of the town and had, in fact, been owned by said family for generations - until the last one, who ended up being the only family member left, elderly and without kids of her own. Miss Johnson had tried selling the house for years, but Stonemill wasn’t well known, nor was a lot of people interested in buying a giant house that needed well, a lot of love. In the time you had lived there, Miss Johnson had lowered the price three times.
“Full original price?”
Luna nodded, like an excited pup.
“- And Miss Johnson?”
“Over the moon! She got enough money to get that lil two bedroom apartment near the Franks and Hales, and there won’t be any stairs there and enough space for her to use her walker too.”
You felt yourself smile. You weren’t close with Miss Johnson in any way, but it was hard not to know each other at least vaguely in a town like this. She was a big part of the elderly community but after falling about a decade ago, she had struggled with chairs - moving closer to the other elders would be good for her.
“That’s good, bless her heart,” you answered, “I’m really happy - do you know who bought it?”
“Yes! well, no I don't but–”
“- but you heard gossip?”
“Excuse you,” Luna touched her chest with a mocking, horrified expression, her red curls almost bouncing “I am a good christian woman, I never gossip.” You rolled your eyes as you picked up a glass, beginning to clean it.
“Tell me then, oh great Christian woman, what didn’t you hear then?”
“Well, Miss Johnson said that it was a lot of handsome strange men,” the words made you frown but Luna merely waved her hand at you, “yeah, I was confused too, but I talked to the couple that lives nearby and the guy said that it’s a group of four men, all veterans, apparently used to be a squad.”
“That doesn’t make them weird–”
“They’re British, Fae.”
“... Ah. I see Miss Johnson’s point.”
“Anyways - neighbor said he is pretty sure some of them is gay, but his wife said it probably wasn’t all of them and that we shouldn’t judge, but that they all seemed very polite and nice, but that they probably wanted to come here to retire, ya’ know?”
“Luna,” you took a deep breath, having to stop yourself from pinching the bridge of your nose, “how do you even know all of this?”
“Mailman - and the butcher.”
“Hah. Of course.” you wanted to roll your eyes at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.
“BUT! you know what this means, Fae?” She almost lit up again and you raised an eyebrow, putting the glass away.
“That we’re officially 154 town folks now?”
“Yes! SO! New people to date!” Luna sounded incredibly proud of herself.
“I - Luna you’re a lesbian,” you pointed out, your friend just rolling her eyes, grin not faltering for a moment, “It’s not for me, you idiot! For you!”
You wanted to deny that the thought didn’t catch your interest. Your cheeks felt warm and though you let out a huff, trying to not seem bothered, both you and Luna knew it was a lie. One of the regulars, further down the bar giggled at the two of you and you sent him a stern look.
Why did they care about your dating life? It bothered you.
Looking back at Luna, her head resting in her hands, freckles standing in a stark contrast to her sunburnt skin, her green eyes shining in the unnatural light of the bar.
“No.”
“Ya’ haven’t even seen ‘em!” Arguing with Luna, on a night like this, where she was full of energy, had been out in her garden half the day without enough sunscreen, was almost impossible; after several years of knowing her, you knew that. Yet, here you were.
“Neither have you, dipshit.” A part of you wished that there would appear more thirsty bar goers, just so you wouldn’t have to defend your singleness. Finding a partner that wasn’t a wolf and wouldn’t ask too many questions was tough to say the least. At the same time, finding a partner who was a wolf, meant letting another wolf, a stranger, into your territory. The urge to gag overwhelmed you for a moment.
“But-”
“No - now, do ya’ wanna talk about something other than planning my dating life?”
The ginger pouted.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Hours passed, you returned home from your shift at the bar, taking the usual walk home, smelling slightly of beer and cigarettes as always. It was like a rhythm that had settled in your body after living here half a decade.
Cars passed, lights illuminating your body for mere seconds, a person or two greeting you as you passed them, wishing you a good night. Stonemill was considered a rather safe place. There was the occasional bar brawl, but they were often nice enough to take it outside and figure it out on their own.
Whenever you walked home on nights like these, bathed in the last colors of the sunset, you liked to imagine you were in a music video, like the ones you grew up watching repeatedly on youtube.
The thoughts of the newcomers had drowned in your mind, by another local drama, then by a heartbroken lady who came in not too long after Luna had annoyed you about being single.
No, you just enjoyed the air, much nicer than the big city air you had grown up with.
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
It was two days later when you stepped out of your door, to go get groceries, that the scent in the air made you physically gag - gripping the door frame, to stop yourself from falling over.
Wolves.
There were fucking wolves in the area. Strangers, in your fucking territory.
How dare they?? For a non-human, it was clear that this area was yours - you made sure of that, making sure it stank of your scent. You rubbed your muzzle against house corners, against trees, hell you pissed several places on the regular, too.
You had to close your eyes, breathing through your mouth for a couple of seconds, building up your courage to take another sniff. You needed to know who the hell this was, how many, whether they were alphas, betas or omegas like you.
You took a deep breath, this time with your nose, wrinkling it at the scent. It stank of alphas, definitely more than one, if you had to guess by the mixed scents.
Right. You wetted your teeth with your tongue, the urge to let your wolf form free overwhelming for a second. To find the intruders, as quickly as possible, attack them, show them that this place wasn't open for them. Groceries afterwards.
Hopefully it was just a pack passing by, though they had definitely been in the area for a couple of hours, if the potent scent was anything to go by.
Following your nose wasn’t quite like following the maps app on your phone. It forced you to use an instinct you mostly used when hunting. It was like the world around you didn't matter, though you tried not to look too weird as you sniffed your way towards the unknown goal. Smiling and greeting as familiar faces passed you, either on foot or in their cars.
The house at the edge of the town was a dull green color, worn by the weather by the years, begging to be fixed - but it needed more than just a new paint job for the house to look nice again. It was a fixer upper, as Luna had described it once. With the stream nearby and the forest curling into the backyard, it was a big and beautiful house, where a big family could live. Usually you wouldn’t even be hesitant to get close, because Miss Johnson would always be sitting in the window, watching the street - waving at you with her boney fingers and big grin, her little poodle always next to her.
No more.
The scent was overwhelming, even as you stood around 20 metres away. A big truck was in the driveway, getting unloaded by several big men. They were chatting among themselves and you didn’t need to be a genius, to know that these men were the ones mentioned by Luna. British veterans.
Hiding behind a tree wasn't your proudest moment, but you needed to be able to look at them in peace, just for a bit.
Tall, all four of them, clearly strong as they easily carried the bigger furniture pieces and moving boxes. Some of the neighbors were helping, chatting. One of the loudest of them wasn’t even British, if the Scottish accent was anything to go by as he chattered away. He wore a knee-brace, blue shorts and black t-shirt, hair in a fucking mohawk. A big grin as he argued to another one of them that it was his knee, not his arms that were broken, as he took another box.
The one who looked worried - or well, his upper half of his face looked worried - was wearing a black facemask, short clipped dark blonde hair, scars littered all over his body and face. A pair of pants and long sleeve shirt, despite the warmth. You couldn’t hear what he said exactly, drowned out by all the other voices and noise from their moving.
A black man appeared, wearing a cap with the british flag - and the prettiest face you had seen for a long time. Smiling politely as their neighbor asked about something, wearing a gray t-shirt that was a tad too tight on his arms and a pair of long shorts. You already knew all the housewives and older ladies were going to try to marry off their daughters to him.
Then, finally, the last stranger appeared.
He wore a boonie hat of all things, t-shirt too but an open flannel over it that was folded up to his elbows, exposing his tattooed arms. He was big too, but looked much older - mostly due to the beard that looked like it had stepped out from a history book.
The wind had been hitting your face, letting their scents come to your hiding spot. Alpha. All fucking alpha, potent with their wolf scent, which meant they had probably changed yesterday.
The urge to create a scene, to snarl at them, humans be damned and get them off your territory was overwhelming.
At once, the wind changed. Before you realized, it was too late, the wind curling along your short hair.
The man with the beard was the first one to quickly turn his head, your gazes instantly meeting as he sniffed the air. Fuck. As if on cue, the three others froze, their faces instantly turning towards you too, but you were stuck in some sort of staring contest with the first man.
The moment he grinned, like he knew something you didn’t, you slipped away into the slim alleyways of the two houses near you, escaping to the back of the enclosed gardens, away from the gazes of the four alpha wolves. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to fight you did - but it wasn’t the right time.
You barely remembered what you bought in the grocery store - bringing home the oddest mixture of things that you didn’t care about either. You barely ate, just sat around your house… waiting.
Watching the sun going lower and lower on its travel across the sky.
It was dark when your wolf had you get up, howling and snarling in your mind, begging you to let her come out, so that you could go to the house and scare the alphas off.
But you didn’t. Reason with them, you told yourself, try communicating before going directly to violence… Besides, the more logical part of you feared not winning the fight. Your wolf didn’t particularly like the idea of communicating.
Pulling on your boots, your thick jacket since it was cold and you weren’t - hopefully - going to shift, you needed to keep your warmth. A dark knitted beanie pulled down to your ears, a scarf and you were off. You didn’t look scary, you knew that. You were smaller than them, chubby and had short hair, but according to Luna, a mean stare. Your wolf form was more dangerous with her teeth, but alas.
You didn’t go through the town this time, foregoing the usual streets, in the hopes of not catching unwanted attention. Instead you crossed through the forest, the trip a little longer, but the scents familiar and shadows easier to hide in.
The closer you got to the Johnson Family house, that wasn’t the Johnson Family house anymore, the more their scent began to return, making you wrinkle your nose - and this time a small growl left you.
Minutes passed as you calmly walked in between the trees, knowing the place like the back of your hand. Maybe you ran your bare fingers along a couple of trees, to leave a little more scent behind, who knew.
It took a little while, time almost slowing down the closer you got. As you got closer, you began to mind your sounds, trying to be as quiet as possible. It was easier in your wolf form, but you made due, making it to the stream in their backyard - you didn’t cross it, keeping it between you, since it would give you a good head start, in case it was needed.
You stood there for a moment, watching the usual dark windows, lit up, picking up the vague sound of laughter and moving. For a moment, just a short moment, you imagined what it would be like to have your own pack. To have somebody to rely on, someone to spend your life with, to run free with, letting your wolves free and enjoying nature. The next moment, you wanted to hit yourself for even thinking about it.
You let out a little howl, giving away your position, letting them know you were near. Everything stopped within the house. Only because of your non-human genes, you were able to hear rough talking, though you couldn’t pick out the words. You waited. A few moments later, the backdoor opened and you braced yourself, ready to turn and run for your life in case it was wolves that barged out.
Instead it was the man with the beard, hat forgotten in the house, bare feet and a hurriedly put on leather jacket. His eyes ran over the garden, before it landed on you.
The stench from the house of male alphas hit you like a brick wall, but you stood quietly, waiting, even as the anger grew inside of you with every second that passed.
The man turned towards you, having the audacity to grin at you as he stepped down from the wooden back porch, down towards the stream.
God you wanted to rip his throat out.
[prev]
#fanfiction#my writing#boolger#ao3 fanfic#cod fanfic#call of duty#poly!task force 141 x reader#poly!141#call of duty reader#call of duty x reader#reader insert#omegaverse
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Motivation Monday
as i've written some words today I hope posting will keep me motivated to continue with my every day goal and end this fic soon. more from Tommy doesn't want kids (or as i decided to title it "I give up my dream because I want you more(what if I am scared to dream the same?)")
“I went to talk to Maddie but Josh was there and he helped me to see that I was dreaming about kids, yes, but that, you and our future is more important for me. I want you Tommy. I don’t care that we won’t have kids, be fun uncles and have pets if you would want to, will be enough for me. Just having a chance to love you would be enough for me. I don’t need anything else.”
“Evan,” Tommy grabs his neck with one hand and the other under his chin, making him look him in the eyes, blue to blue with barely inches between their faces, “are you sure about it? I don’t want you to be unhappy because of me.”
“I won’t be if I can love you. A little bit sad and full of longing from time to time? Yes, not gonna lie. But till I have you near me it’s nothing more I need.”
Tommy kisses him and Buck feels tears on his face.
“No one ever chose me. Not even my parents. They always chose each other, but not me,” Tommy whispers to him and kisses him again. “Thank you for choosing me.”
Buck cups Tommy’s face, loving the slight prickly feeling of Tommy's stubble on his skin, “I’ll always choose you, Tommy Kinard. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Good,” Buck smirks, “now ask me again.”
Tommy chuckles, “Evan Buckley, do you want to make this house officially ours?”
“I do.”
They kiss, sealing the promise of a happy life together in a kiss and Buck can't wait for Tommy's next shift, when he can safely research all the ring options and choose the best.
np tagging @theotherbuckley @diazheartsbuckley @typicalopposite @hyperfocusthusly @actuallyitsellie @perfectlysunny02 @powersuitup @bekkachaos @wikiangela @hippolotamus @diazsdimples @bewilderedbuckley @devirnis @desert--moonchild @queerbuck @watchyourbuck @epiphainie @evanbi-ckley @repressedqueen @racerchix21 @pirrusstuff @aringofsalt @saybiwithme @half-oz-eddie @lavenderleahy @leashybebes @cliophilyra @cal-daisies-and-briars @bigfootsmom @bi-buckrights @manwolfdiaz @monsterrae1 @marvelousbuckley @mmso-notlikethat and anyone who wants to
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Baby's First Christmas
Hello and welcome to my Christmas AUvent Calendar! Every day from now until the 24th I will be posting a ficlet that is 500-1500 from an AU I've done over the years.
All stories will be marked with the tag #12 aus of christmas so you can follow along as I will only be tagging my permanent list for this (it would get too confusing otherwise).
The next one on our list is: omegaverse! You can read the first story here and its sequel here. All links will be to the first chapter, but the chapter itself will have links to the rest of the story.
Steve is fretting about making Winnie's first Christmas special and oh boy does he deliver!
First fic here.
~
Steve was fussing. Eddie knew his spouse and mate was fussing but after the third time Steve snapped at him, Eddie raised the white flag of surrender and nicely backed off.
Steve was bound and determined to make sure little Winnie had the best first Christmas possible. Never mind the wee lad was only six months old and wouldn’t remember it or the next two for that matter.
But Steve kept saying it wasn’t what he could remember, it was that Steve made it magical for him. Which was why Eddie had wisely decided to stay out of it. He knew Steve was only doing this because his own Christmases as a kid were white and sterile and boring. Something he did not want for Winnie.
Plus Eddie was not going to turn down the chance to spoil his babies. So he let Steve do whatever he wanted and Eddie tailed behind with the credit card. Yes, yes. Technically Steve’s card could max out his and still have a lot left over, but it was the principle of it all and after talking to Steve about how he wanted to spoil his family, Steve relented too.
Right now in the center of their entryway was a giant fifteen foot Noble fir tree decorated in red and white with presents already piled up under the tree.
Everyone was going to be there, even Chrissy who had requested the week off and got it. She was Starcourt’s brightest jewel now, especially after Roxie took her under their wing.
And Steve couldn’t be happier for her.
It was nearly time for their guests to arrive and Eddie had to admit, Steve knew how to throw a great party.
There was food laid out and drinks of all kinds. Eggnog both alcoholic and not, same with the cider. Hot chocolate and of course a wide range of Christmas cocktails all doled out by people Steve had hired.
Steve laughed as Winnie was handed off to another of the people who loved him. First it was to Grandpa Wayne, then to Robin. When it time for a diaper change, Jeff grabbed the little one and had him in a new diaper within minutes.
Eddie came over with a couple of mugs of eggnog and handed Steve one, then slid his newly freed hand around his waist. “You did good, Stevie. There isn’t a person out there that isn’t having a good time. Your son especially.”
Steve blushed. “Thanks, babe. I love seeing everyone so happy. I never thought I’d have a family like this. I thought it was going to be me and Robin against the world for the rest of our lives. But looking at our family I can’t believe how lucky I am.”
The night wore on and everyone left, leaving the small and happy family to rest from a great night.
The next morning after opening all the presents and fantastic breakfast made by Steve, they all curled up on the sofa watching the lit tree.
“What’s up, sweetheart?” Eddie cooed once Winnie had dropped off for his mid-morning nap. “You barely touched your breakfast.”
“I have another Christmas present for you,” Steve murmured and pulled out a white tube from his robe pocket.
Eddie cocked his head to the side. “What more could you give me, Stevie?”
Steve handed him the tube and Eddie took it gingerly. He looked down and saw he was holding a pregnancy test. A pregnancy test with two pink lines.
His eyes went wide. “Is this for real? I’m not dreaming?”
Steve giggled and then pinched his sided, causing Eddie to squirm. “It’s real, you dork. Winnie’s going to have a brother or sister next year.”
Eddie scooped Steve up and hauled him up on his lap. “You beautiful creature, you! Another baby!”
“I kind suspected I might be last week when my heat was so mild,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck, “but it really hit home when I threw up the eggnog from last night this morning.”
“I’m sorry I slept through that,” Eddie said, “but I love the surprise. Best Christmas present ever.”
Steve could only agree. The lights glimmered and softly music played somewhere in the distance.
“If it’s a girl can we name her Elizabeth Robin?” he asked softly, his own eyes starting to droop.
“Yeah, baby,” Eddie said with a fond smile. “We can name her after my mom and your best friend. I think Wayne would love that too.”
“Mmmk,” Steve mumbled as he too fell asleep.
Eddie looked down at his mate and just boundless joy erupted from him. Steve had absolutely succeeded in giving them all the best Christmas anyone could ask for.
~
Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11 Day 12
Tag list: CLOSED
1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006
5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
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Just wondering when your stray kids pack book will be updated. Stumbled across it and now I'm obsessed 😍
Beautifully Cruel World-Update
Series Masterlist
I am again soo sorry for lack of chapters. The last you guys heard from me I was stressing about trying to get SKZ US tickets which I am happy to say I did get 2 field tickets for Arlington so if anyone's gonna be there hope to see you.
But the reason for no update is just a few days after I got the tickets I was at work when I got a text from my aunt. I don't talk to most of my moms family as you guys know from the fic as it is based on my life but she had told me my great-grandmother had a heart attack. My great-grandma is a 92 year old women who is the only grandma I keep in contact to that is biologically related to me. She was able to go home but then 3 days later while I'm at work again I get a call from my mom who was barely 24 hours out of rehab telling me my great-grandma was going back to the hospital and would possible be put on hospice.
Right now I am waiting for more updates on her as it isn't really looking good. If things take a turn for the worse I may have to fly back to where I grew up which we all know I won't be looking forward to but because of it I've been kind of having some writers block as my mind has been everywhere else. I've been trying to write when I can so I'll try to get chapter 14 posted soon but right now there's gonna be some time between chapters. Again I'm sorry but I'll also keep you guys updated as I know
Lots of love ~MayRose
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Gonna be honest with you though if someone outright says “don’t ship my character with other people” or something to that extent regarding smut or whatever I don’t think there should be any ambiguity
I get your point about the nature of fanfic being inherently encroaching upon people’s images so that levity should be extended to otherwise uncommon avenues but I really believe hardline boundaries should be respected, end of, no discussion. If I see people violating creators’ boundaries for their characters Or themselves (and these can be intertwined, it’s not up to the audience to pick apart their boundaries, cuz I’ve seen people try to do that) I’m not going to judge them fairly and I feel like neither should you.
Lines can be crossed and intimacy (not even necessarily romantic!) is a very different monster than the other avenues of storytelling because of how it involves real life relationships seeping into character relationships. Its’s uncommon for people to be like “I wrote A’s character being tortured because I feel like A is tortured in real life” but they Can and Often do that with ship work. So I don’t know, I feel like you’re not affording this the right nuance.
Alright, so, this is another post I'm gonna slap with a discourse and long post warning right away, buckle in.
Yeah, I hear what you're saying, and this is not an uncommon opinion to have! It's still the opinion of twitter/x so far as I know, and I think it's probably the opinion of the bulk of dsmp fans here, as well. I know my posts get notes once they start circulating in hermitblr, but I don't kid myself that I have the majority view. I am posting to explain my views expressly because I know a lot of people don't agree with me!
And in this case we do have a difference of opinion. There's two sort of points as I see it in your posts— we have hardline boundaries about shipping/nsfw from some people, and everyone in the fandom should be abiding by those no exceptions or be thrown out of the fandom; and we have shipping boundaries but not boundaries for other things because shipping is uniquely boundary-crossing and terrible and invasive, in contrast to anything else we can do in fandom.
Taking the second part first, I just don't think that's true. Let's not forget, boundaries discourse started with SMPLive and SMPronpa, and it was not the shipping that caused the discussion, it was the death games. The first real fandom reckoning we had with the notion of boundaries as mcyt fandom was over gore and murder and portraying people in violent ways. Shipping was barely a blip on the radar. The way the discourse has developed now, shipping is framed as the absolute worst thing anyone could ever do with your public image, and everything else is fine, but that is not the case for everyone. Recently the Pirates SMP creators were asked repeatedly for their boundaries (bothered on twitter, really) until they gave them and thus we saw people being fine with shipping but not wanting family dynamic, or being against both shipping and gore, or being fine with shipping but not wanting to be gender bent or trans headcanoned, etc. Not everyone feels the same way about the same things, despite the us-american cultural viewpoint that romance and sexualization is uniquely bad but gore and torture is fine, that everything else is fine.
Like, if we're looking at DSMP, I think there are a lot of creators who would feel just as strongly if not stronger about fics in which their character died of a terminal illness than they would about a fic in which they kiss someone, for understandable reasons. But I see those tropes in the tags regularly!
I think if we are honest with ourselves, if we are going to hardline boundaries about things that are uniquely invasive or bad to do to a creator's character with the view that we are putting all of this up for the creator's approval, we need to accept that this excludes us from writing anything where a character is abusive or is tortured or dies of a terminal illness or is psychologically broken or is age regressed or is neurodivergent or is queer if the cc is straight or trans if the cc is cis or cis if the cc is trans or straight if they're gay— the list of things that would be weird to do in the face of the real guy is really long. And it has most of our favourite tropes on it!
I love writing autistic philza. It would be really fuckin' weird to go up to Philza and tell him about how I write his character as whumped and autistic. Come on now. (But that's within boundaries, so that's— fine? I really don't think it's fine!)
Which is why my stance is that we should be thinking critically about these things, and keeping the fandom seperate from the creators. Some of these things are just not for the creators. They're fine but they shouldn't go on twitter. Y'know?
The idea that shipping draws uniquely on the real person and leads to invasive behaviour but nothing else does— that nobody does "I wrote A being tortured because I think A is tortured in real life"— Look. I have been in the fandom a long time. I remember how all the abused tommy narratives fed right into people assuming his family in real life were abusive— and talking about this on twitter! Where he and his family could see! People did this with WIlbur and Techno too!
I remember people reading about trans tommy and then truthing that the creator either was transmasc or was going to come out as transfemme any day now, publically, on twitter and in his chat. I have seen people she/her tubbo to his face on twitter, with fancams. I have been in chat when people who have clearly assigned Phil "dad" start asking WILDLY invasive things in TTS. If you think that shipping is the only fandom behaviour that can lead to people drawing directly from the streamers for their work and treating the creators weirdly about it, you simply have not been paying attention.
The way the fandom insists on treating benchtrio as children despite the fact that they're almost twenty and viciously attacking their friends for treating them as adults and chiding tommy and tubbo and ranboo for inappropriate behaviour. The list goes ON.
So. The recieved DSMP wisdom is that we should TTS the streamers to check if it's okay if we write a fic in which they die of cancer. We should DM them on instagram to ask if it's okay if we write them as a gender or sexual identity they don't share. We should show up in their twitter mentions to ask if it's okay if we write them as a physically abusive parent.
No????????
My view on that is that it is frankly bizzare it is that we have decided that "asking creators for detailed instructions regarding porn or gore" (especially in TTS! When they're fucking at WORK and can't step away! Stop doing this to the hermits!) is normal and fine and responsible but "post your shit in appropriate places and leave the creators out of it" will make you a monster.
Once again, the experience of someone coming up and saying "i think of you as age regressed" and someone saying "i found this fic where you're age regressed" and someone saying "can I write a fic where you're age regressed" is not that different. In all cases you know that the person has been thinking about it and putting it out there, and in all cases you didnt seek out this information, it was brought to you. In all cases it's weird. Just do not bring this information up to them!
If you just think about it for a while, you see that there is an entire host of things that would be weird to force into the view of a creator, especially when you consider that half the time we got these clips from TTS information when we have no idea if the person answering knew the context of what they were being asked, if they were specifically aware of the creator/cc divide that the fandom works with, or if they felt pressured into it. Oh yeah, let's take a TTS clip from Tubbo when it was 2 in the morning for him and he was deep in a minecraft mod when someone asked him about alters and delusions and he was like "oh you mean like— when they can't help it? I guess that's fine." That definately counts as freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific consent to show him anything we want at all times forever. That's never going to make him uncomfortable.
Think a little here.
So I think there's a lot of the fandom that we should not be putting up for the approval of the creators, and if we don't have a firm answer on if they would like potential edge cases, we should probably be thinking about it and keeping it away from them (and I would err on the side of caution), we should NOT be showing up in the TTS to ask them about narratives in which they're institutionalized, or making them a GOP conservative in fiction, or if Wilbur was canon about seeing them as a bottom, or whatever bizzare thing someone is cooking up now. Honestly if you think to yourself "I don't know if the creator would like seeing this", I would be much more comfortable if the two choices we were picking between there were "simply don't write it" or "write it but keep it away from them", and "harass the creator for an answer on this subject and only write it if they say yes" never entered the equation at all.
And to return to your first point, if we already have a class of fiction that we are keeping away from the creators because basic intellectual curiosity would show that it would be weird to show someone, I don't think it's the end of the world to go "okay, creator doesn't like NSFW, so we also keep the NSFW away from them, keep this shit off twitter, block them if you create it, don't show it to them" and then we archive lock it and continue on our little weirdo on the internet ways.
Now, I don't expect to convince you of this, the phrasing of your post does not indicate that you're open to discussion on this topic. That's fine. Nobody has to agree with me. But I grew up conservative christian, and I have already had people try and get me to throw people out of the community for their perceived sins where I was like "well, I really don't think this is that bad", and I'm really resistant to being forced to do that again. I don't think it's a healthy way to run a fandom, to be shunning people for what they're doing in fiction. Harassing creators in chat? Sure, I will block them from my events as untrustworthy. That's hurting someone in the real world. Writing something that I don't vibe with privately on the archive for an audience of 50 people? That is not doing harm to real people. As long as they're not showing it to the creators, I don't count that as offensive.
How's that for nuance.
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sorry for never shutting up about how people treat hazel but ohh my god shes my fave character atm.... i get to be mad!! she has good enough information that you can play around with headcanons freely
the only moments people wouldve brung up is when dev is in the episode, there was no reason for the episode that showed her tendancy to overthink and be emberassed over small mistakes by wishing a do-over and over again, having to realise that running away from the idea of creating a problem wont help her in the long run JUST so people could go "omg haha dev has a crush on her" i could litterly not tell you what the general concensious on most episodes are because i dont know peoples opinions on them because in general they dont discuss them beyond his scenes
fanart too, ive personally muted the dev and devzel tag and when i look up #hazel wells i want you to guess how many posts i find that arent hidden! spoiler alert its barely any of them, listen im not saying im shocked at the fact The Characters Made As A Duo are drawn as a duo, its whatever and while im not personally a fan in general i really do get the appeal, but you have to admit that at some point it gets really suspicious when the only fanart you can find in one character is only with the more popular one, over 200 fics in the hazel tag on ao3 and theres only 20! without the dev tag! (10 more then when i last checked, crazy! go read fly bird, fly now), and my main problem is is that hazel is shown to be her own person OUTSIDE of their friendship, infact wouldnt you know it shes the protagonist herself! the fact that most aus ive seen are focused on dev/dale/peri is whats most confusing to me, "oh but theyre so interesting to work with"
really! youre telling me you cant think of a fic / au idea on her own? miss "i was going to have a previous godparent who didnt listen to me at all", miss "i am very anxious and i overthink to the point where my desicions", miss "i had an encounter with my evil shadow self when i was a fairy" (shout out to fairy bound au btw, im a big fan), miss "my mom doesnt fully know how to handle children inspite of being a therapist and tells me im handling things mature so i feel like i should be", miss "with the fact that im terrified my friends are making fun of me behind my back, i didnt know how to talk to anyone and a cafetiria made me so overworried and i speak to my rocks could imply the fact that i was outcasted at a young age", miss "my brother who has been my anchor and i has taught me everything i need to know has left me and hes also struggling to adjust to everything and we were insanely close to the point where the reason this whole thing started is because of him", miss "i regularly help my dad hunt a ghost that doesnt exist but it makes him happy", miss "i am litterly friends with the coolest kid in elementary school", miss "my landlords are litterly doomsday preppers and our parents want me to get along with their werido twins", miss "i didnt even hestitate to kill myself if i had to save potatoes for humanity after i pissed off mother nature", miss 'i got called out on projecting my past bonding expiriences on my best friend by some werid demon posessing her body right infront of me' none of that makes you want to think of something about her on her own? not even a spark of an idea? its almost like you guys watched exclusively 6 episodes and watched 5 minutes out of them at most
hazel is very interesting and shows her own struggles, she likes puns and fries and rocks and anime and horror movies (and apparently mushrooms if you count that one scene), she tries to problem solve so that no one is unhappy (patty being alive so winn wasnt upset, trying to get the band and orchestra together, accidently haunting her house and wishing her dads day was extra special, trying to find a dinosaur she spontaniously teleported his own job), she has multiple episodes showing her insecurities and how she tries to hide it so she doesnt look like a bad person, but inspite of it all is a understanding person and a peacemaker and doesnt like arguments, hell shes even such good autism represntation im 99.9% sure it wasnt intentional at all
dont even get me started on the takes ive seen in the finale, listen the finale has alot to be said and it definatly wont be everyones cup of tea (i think them trying to refrence every episode felt so chaotic personally) but regarding people with the ending is still giving me a headache, "she shouldve used her wish on him" that wouldve been so boring and predicable, say what you want on what she actually used it for but i think you guys should realise that for the kid whos regressing back into his bad copium mechanisms should get to face his concequences, 'hes 10 and neglected so thats why he acted like that' and 'she doesnt need to put up with how he treats her and hold his hand and be his personal therapist' can both coexist, people being pissed that she lightheartly agreed that he fucked up when HE admitted it is crazyyy CRAZYYY (also the fact ive seen someone say 'her moms a therapist she shouldve known' ???)
this isnt even touching on "hazels other relationships like her friends and family arent developed enough so thats why ppl dont care that much" while that is a valid critism i have with the show in general i still dont think applys to what im specifically talking about to demonstrate dale has appeared in THREE episodes (four if you want to stretch it), meanwhile hazels parents have appeared more often and im barely seeing them in fanart "but dale has a backstory!" so do those two have a whole episode explaining how they met "b-but dale is interesting as a role as a villain!" the guy is barely a villain [so far atleast], but also is being a therapist and a parascienists already not an interesting enough? are you guys suddenly not able to make as much headcanons expanding apon them as you did with dale? thats the thing that confuses me the most, whats stopping you from giving random information from your head to anyone else?, (i didnt know how to word this point so hopefully this makes sense)
listen im going to say it right now MOST OF THIS IS DEFINATLY UNINTENTIONAL AND NOT EVERYONE IS DOING THIS ON PURPOSE but some of u guys might really need to uncover some biases on why you think the black girl should coddle the rich white boy when he wasnt treating her well at the time, if that makes sense
#cupid.exe#im feeling brave ill maintag this . if u guys are annoying i am going to stop u guys from rbing i have school tommorow anyways#the wording might be a little bit werid cuz its midnight n my brain is mush but whatever im going to bed after this#fandom misogyny#fandom salt#fandom racism#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#long post
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My blog is generally pretty lighthearted and I stick to reblogging art and fic and fun stuff, but you know what. I feel like I need to say this.
I am a trans teen in the US. I'm seventeen, so too young to have voted. I'm terrified for my life right now. I usually post about college but I'm actually concurrently enrolled in high school still and the kid who sits behind me in first period government is a massive Trump fanboy. I'm going to have to go to high school Monday and talk about the election. I'm going to have to hear my deadname called and hear people in my super conservative high school talk about how happy they are Trump won. Everything is terrifying. I walk outside of my house and I'm scared I'll be shot. Several months ago I promised that I'd kill myself if that bastard won.
He did and I'm still here.
I'm not thriving. I'm not living my best life. I'm barely living. But I'm surviving. I'm coping. I'm trying my goddamned best. It's hard. I want so bad to just go and take as much medication as I can and slit my wrist for good measure and pass away in my sleep. But I'm still here. And I will be here.
I am in so much pain. But I'm living on spite and determination and everything I can scrape together. I know I need support and those around me need support. So consider this a support masterpost.
Support:
First thing you should see if you're a trans person in the US.
Here's a link to the Trevor Project and here's a link to their suicide hotline page. They've already saved my life once before. Please note - they recommend calling if you need immediate support. Donate if you can, please.
This post is both a suicide hotline masterlist and a post mentioning how something feels deeply wrong here with this election.
On the topic of something being wrong, sign this petition. I'm only seventeen but I did this and it might not feel like much but if we couldn't shoot that bastard (I am not pro-gun but I am when it comes to him) then we'll do the next best thing. Here's the link to the petition itself. Make sure to check the post every once in a while - the original petition got taken down and this is important.
I follow a lot of gimmick blogs, so I got to see this post encouraging us to be loud. Because we should be. Because if we die they've won and my mom didn't smoke weed on the steps of the state capital of Colorado to legalize it just so her son could roll over and die.
Here is the Tumblr Hot Beverage Masterpost, as I've taken to calling it. My personal favorites are the London Fog in the replies, earl grey with milk, honey, and vanilla (in the tags), and some additions from me are hot chocolate with peppermint melted into it, earl grey with lavender, caramel apple tea, and really anything else you can think of. Trust me. This post works better than you think.
Read this post if you haven't seen it already. It's half poem, half Tumblr being Tumblr, all wonderful to read.
Things I just like to see:
PM Seymour and Bettina Levy both have shown their support for everyone struggling right now. It might not be much, but I still really appreciate it and seeing support can really help.
The cat with the kind and reassuring face. No other context.
Four panel comic of hope. Because you're more than enough.
Can't find the post where I found this but this is a link to a virtual toy where you can make your own galaxy.
Please. Eat something. Drink a hot beverage. Draw, write, read, knit, sew, sculpt, bake, do something that helps. Reach out to friends, even if they're online friends. Talk to someone you trust. Make vent art. Write vent fics. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it helps.
Do not roll over and die. Live. Live on spite. Live on determination. Live on shitposts and live on heartfelt stories like this one. If you have anything to add to this post please do. Add more resources. Add more love to this post. I know I'm just a guy on the internet saying shit, but I still care about everyone who sees this post.
#screaming out of the abyss#transgender#election 2024#2024 election#support#trans#transblr#trans rights#fuck trump#survive please#support masterlist#support masterpost#encouragement#please reblog#trans rights are human rights#serious post#mental health resources#trevor project#ftm trans#trans story#say it while we can#donald trump#trump 2024#trump#president trump#election results#stress
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you and me found love (lost under the shade)
re4r leon s. kennedy x fem reader (no use of y/n)
wc: 3.3k
18+ | cw: mentions of drinking, smoking, sex | tw: illusions to suicidal thoughts; author's general preoccupation with death and dying
read on ao3
title: falling asleep on a stranger by pierce the veil | art: taft bridge under the rain [#127] by carmonamedina
a/n: i honestly don't know if i am doing this whole tagging thing right idk how to tag on here so sorry if i missed anything.... anyways, this is the first thing i've managed to finish in months - i did not imagine the first leon fic i'd actually post would be reader insert but here we are!! i hope u enjoy :D
not beta read - all mistakes my own or done purposely due to my general disrespect for the grammatical conventions of the english language.
i do not own leon, yadda yadda, please don't sue me <3
please do not use my work to train any sort of AI chat bot and/or writing generator.
-----
"I can't be what you want," Leon had said, voice even. "Maybe you should try to find someone else; someone who can… be around."
Someone who can give you a straight answer. Someone who doesn't come home bloodied and bruised and can't tell you why. Someone who doesn't make you feel like it's all just a lie.
You had never heeded any of Leon's suggestions before - "You should go," he had whispered after that first night, and the second, and the third - but you wish you had; so you give it a shot now.
You let your friend set you up with the guy in accounting at her job she had been telling you about for months. "And get this - he always wears a tie bar! He just seems so put together," she had raved to you over drinks the weekend prior.
Accounting, tie bar, put together. Nice, neat, safe.
You had shrugged, "give him my number."
He's waiting for you outside the bar when you arrive, jogs over when he notices you approaching, holding his umbrella out over you. It's unnecessary - the cold precipitation is hardly a mist, barely coating the strands of your hair. "You look beautiful," he smiles. It feels rehearsed, platitudinous. You thank him, letting him guide you inside.
His hand brushes your arm as he helps you out of your jacket, skin soft. You pull away with the shock of it, covering with a small wave of beckoning. He falls in behind you as you traverse the familiar path through the room to your usual spot, settling in before he can manage to make a show out of pulling out your chair.
Same table, different seat; back against the wall - it's a whole new perspective. No longer focused solely on the person across from you, it's as if the whole world falls into your line of sight. It suddenly makes sense why you always found it so difficult to hold on to Leon's attention.
He slinks away to acquire your requested vodka soda from the bar. You pick at your nails until your fingers shake, shifting to look out the windows. The rain has picked up, pelting the glass and obscuring the view. You long for your car and the pack of menthols tucked away in the glove box, nobody to quit for now.
He returns with your drinks, water for himself - "trying to cut back on carbs, you know? I've been making real progress with my lifts lately."
"That's great," you smile.
He leans in, beginning to chatter away excitedly about weights and protein and bicycles and Wall Street. His cologne reeks of business school, of polo shirts and white picket fences and 2.5 kids. You hope you are nodding at all the right moments. His tie bar catches the light of the Budweiser sign hanging behind you, silver glinting red, as if informing you you aren't.
It's hard, much harder than it reasonably should be but you've forgotten how to do this. Leon and you hardly spoke; the silence was easier - until it grew violent from your overreliance.
You catch the ring of the doorbell over the drone of his voice, a familiar shape of blonde hair and brown leather entering your peripheral vision. You turn, a sick sense of satisfaction slithering up your spine.
Shoulders hunched and hands shoved deep in his pockets, he shakes off the water droplets clinging to his hair like a dog. He picks his head up, blue eyes and dark circles meet your gaze almost immediately.
You raise a brow, I took your advice; happy?
He spins around, setting the bell off again as he slips out the door.
"I'm sorry," you interrupt your date, who had been entertaining himself, seemingly never even recognizing your shift in attention. "I'll be right back."
You are out the door a second later, shoving your arms back into the coat you thankfully remembered to grab, shielding your skin from the rain clouding your vision. Blinking away the droplets from your lashes, you spot Leon making his way down the sidewalk and take off after him, catching up as he nears the corner.
You call to him, voice near enough to stop him, but only for a moment. "Go back inside," he throws over his shoulder, continuing forward.
You want to reach out and grab him, make him turn to look at you, but his shoulders are set in a tense line. Your touch is sure to set him off like a slingshot.
Steeling yourself, you dart around him, blocking his path. You find yourself in front of him without any idea of what to say. You gape at him stupidly, chest heaving from the exertion of chasing him down; maybe you should've asked what's-his-name for a good gym recommendation before you ran off.
Leon entertains you for a moment before he huffs, eyes narrowing, "what are you doing?"
It's an excellent question - one you had never bothered to stop and ask yourself.
What are you doing?
Why did you agree to go for drinks? Why had you put on the dress Leon had carefully unzipped and let pool around your ankles just a few weeks ago? Why had you asked Mr. Tie Bar to meet you at the bar you knew Leon always popped into after work?
Fuck.
You swallow harshly, "trying."
"Trying?" Leon reiterates, almost laughing. "And what is it that you are trying?"
Normal. To get over you. To make you mad. Honesty. To make you look at me. To make you want me like I want you. Safety. To hurt you. To get you to say something, anything. Trust. To get you to make me stay. To get you to stay.
You feel yourself frown, the familiar pressure of tears building behind your nose. You try to swallow the feeling but it just mixes with the venom stuck in your throat, bubbling back up after mutating into a bitter twinge of anger. "What the hell does it look like, Leon? You told me to try to find someone else - that's what I'm trying."
He rocks back on his heels, crossing his arms. "Well, it doesn't really seem to be working out, does it?"
"It was going great, actually." You smile, hoping it's not as hollow as you feel.
"Oh, yeah?" He cocks a brow, lips pulling into a sly smirk. "Then why are you out here with me?
"You," you huff, at a loss. His words seem to be coming easier than ever while you choke on every one. You shrug, "You looked upset when you left."
"And I'm sure that's exactly what you wanted, right?" His smirk stretches into an acetous grin. "Came to relish in the tears, huh? Sorry to disappoint." He moves to brush by you, but you plant yourself in his path once again.
"I can't believe-" you start, but stop short. Because you can believe he'd think of you that way - you'd never given him a reason to think otherwise.
You think back to the silence that had made its home between the two of you, realizing you had used it as a confidant, letting it absorb everything you should've given to Leon instead.
"I just wanted to check on you, see how you are doing." Your voice comes out as small as you feel under the weight of Leon's gaze. It's ironic - all this time you just wanted him to look at you, and now you wish he'd turn his eyes anywhere else.
He snorts, short and irascibly, "I don't need you worrying about me."
"I know you don't, Leon," you throw your hands out, rainwater flicking off your skin with your exasperation. "You've made that very clear. But I can't help it - I'm going to anyways."
"You shouldn't."
"Why not?" You half-yell, half-whine. You cringe at the sound, feeling slightly delirious; freezing cold and nearly begging him to let you care.
"Because you can do better." His voice is even once again, feelings stacked neatly away and locked up tight.
"You don't get to decide that for me," you spit, ears ringing with the echo of your too-loud voice.
"Yeah," he nods. "I do."
He steps around you again, intending to disappear down the side street. But this time you grab him, fingers latching onto the slippery leather of his jacket, his arm as tense as a bowstring under your grip.
"Let me go," he requests without turning to look at you, voice still even, even, even. It's a courtesy, he could easily pull free - but you are sick of his kindness, his courtesies; that's how you ended up here. You don't want them anymore.
"Make me."
"Let me go," he repeats, slower and thicker.
"No." If you want me gone, you'll have to force me. You don't say it, but you know he got the message when his shoulders slump, fight draining out of him all at once.
With the thrill of victory that ripples through you, you make the mistake of loosening your hold on his jacket. He seizes the opportunity, twisting your arm and grabbing you by the bicep, pulling you close. He is running hot despite the chill of the rain, you have to force yourself not to relax into his heat.
A moment passes, and then another. Neither of you move. The precipitation falls in sheets around you. You can't bring yourself to care.
Your gaze slides from his chest to his neck to his jaw, backtracking the path of a stray raindrop. You chance a glance at his eyes, finding they are already on you, steely blue shimmering with the light of the streetlamp behind you.
You love him.
You wish the ground would crack open, allowing you to freefall straight down to hell. You imagine that would feel better - less painful - than this.
You love him, and your skin burns with the feeling of it. You want to throw up. You want to kiss him. You want to pound your fists against his chest, curse him for doing this to you.
You settle for allowing a sob to escape your throat.
He releases you from his hold instantly at the sound. You scramble to grip his jacket to keep yourself upright - it's pitiful, the teeth of the zipper biting into the skin of your hands. The sharp pain comes as a tether, gifting you the space to ground yourself, to shove the tears back down.
"I'm sorry," he whispers, tight and clipped. "I didn't mean to-"
"No," you cut him off, voice rough, grating. "It wasn't. You didn't hurt me."
"Okay," he mutters.
You laugh. You love him and you can't help but laugh, sinking into the insanity of it.
You feel him start to stiffen again, unsure. The feeling of his discomfort building under your fingers forces you back into yourself, realizing where you are, that you've been causing a scene on the corner down the block from his apartment.
You release him, but you don't step away, tilting your head just enough to take in the sight of him - parted lips and a handful of freckles, blonde hair tinted green by the neon sign over the entrance of the convenience store a few feet away.
"I'm sorry," you croak out, drifting back; wishing the rain would melt you down, suck you into the storm drain. That's the only thing that could pull you from him, you think; swirling down the gutters with the cigarette butts and the fallen cherry blossoms until you're laid to rest at the bottom of the Potomac.
His nose twitches. "For what?"
That I can't find someone else, can't force myself away from you.
That I love you, but can't tell you.
"For," you throw your hands out, weaker than before. "All of it."
He nods, "It's okay."
You don't want it to be, but you suddenly feel exhausted. Too tired to fight, to pull any more truths from him.
"Take me home?" You request, you plead.
He nods again, holding his hand out to you. "Yeah."
You intertwine your fingers with his own, the roughness of his callouses and scars soothing in their familiarity.
The walk to his place is short. You don't bother trying to shake off the water before entering, leaving a trail of raindrops up the stairwell, down the hall, through his front door, across his apartment to the tiled floor of his bathroom.
He reaches into the shower, cranking the hot water, allowing the stream to heat up as he helps you out of your wet clothes. He removes the drenched fabric piece by piece - jacket first, then your dress, unzipping it with even more care than the previous time. It doesn't slip off with the same ease, but his gentle fingers pull it from your skin until it falls away. He crouches to undo your shoes, allowing you to step out of them before reaching up and rolling your nylons, guiding them down your legs.
He moves to do the same with your underwear, fingers resting on the waistband as he glances up to you, silently asking your permission even though he already has it, always will. There's no heat behind his actions, but the tenderness sears your skin all the same. You nod, a low ache settling into the center of your chest as he slides them off you before standing. You unclasp your bra; he doesn't comment on the matching set.
The steam of the boiling shower envelops you as you undress him in turn. You struggle with his belt buckle, stiff fingers uncooperative. He takes over and you drop to your knees to untie the laces of his boots, finding them mercifully secured with single-knots. You make quick work of them and he reaches down to help you up, moving you out of the way before he kicks them off.
You assist him in pulling his shirt over his head, peeling the cotton away from his skin. You unbutton his jeans as he removes the clips from your hair, wet strands falling limply in front of your eyes.
"Go ahead and get in, I'll go throw this stuff in the wash." His voice is mellifluous, sickeningly soft.
It makes you feel like a kid, incompetent and helpless. You hate him for it. You hate yourself for twisting his kindness into something dark and disgusting.
"I can help," you offer, because that's all you can do; already leaning down to collect your things. "You have to hang the jacket, it's-"
"Wool. I know," his hand brushes your back lightly, "it's okay. I'll be right back."
You straighten up, allowing him to guide you across the bathroom and help you into the tub. You slowly ease your way under the hot stream as he slides the shower curtain closed.
You watch the shape of him through the cloudy plastic, shucking off his jeans and pulling off his socks. The sobs you had just barely choked down twice before make another escape attempt, clawing at your throat as you watch his shadow collect your clothes and move down the hall.
You shut your eyes against the sudden emptiness of the room, against the tears and the silence and the panic; against the loathing and inferiority. You take the coward's way out, turning away from it all to hold your face up to the showerhead.
He returns quickly, rustling around for a moment before slipping into the tub behind you. His presence awards you the bravery you needed to crack open your eyes, to clear your throat. "You're wrong, you know."
Exhaustion overshadows his amusement as he hums in question, "about what?"
Picking your hand up, you reach out slowly to slide your fingers along his collarbone, circle the puckered scar on his shoulder. "That I can find someone better."
He scoffs, dropping his head, hair fluttering down to obscure his face.
You move your hand to his neck, thumbing his jaw. "If anything, it's me who doesn't deserve you, Leon."
He shakes his head, but you ignore the action, continuing before he can protest. "Nobody can take care of me like you do - not even myself. I'm sorry" - for needing you, for burdening you; for loving you even though I'm unworthy of it - "for pushing you. I understand there are things you can't share, but I want whatever you can."
You sigh, shifting your hand at his neck to pull him to you; he follows you easily, achingly. "Even if it's just this."
He nods minutely, hooking his arms over your hips and resting his forehead on yours. Answer delivered on a breath that floats across your lips, "alright."
You remain in his arms, his agreement echoing in your mind in time with the beat of your heart in your chest. Seconds morph into minutes, only moving when the water begins to grow cold.
You wash first, your shampoo and conditioner still on the rack next to his own. Leaving him under the stream, you make your way to his room after wrapping yourself in one of the towels he'd brought into the bathroom.
Home. You had asked him to take you home and he brought you here, despite your own place being just a few blocks further in the opposite direction of his from the corner you had been on. But his assumption was right; this - he - was home to you.
The emptiness of his apartment was unsettling at first, but it quickly grew comforting - no regrets staining the carpet; no photos on the dresser of you as a girl you don't remember being. Here you could be untethered from the past you didn't want; white walls graciously offering a clean slate, even if you didn't deserve it, didn't earn it.
There is a shirt of his waiting on the bed for you, a pair of your pajama pants in the drawer next to his. Your stomach turns at the sight - no wonder he had tried to push you away; you had subconsciously settled into his space, his closet and his bed.
Your mug in the sink, your pills behind the mirror - the reckless domesticity of it all is startling, terrifying. He had given you an inch and you had taken a mile, too eager for the chance to be something new.
You pull on the clothes, making your way towards the balcony, a wave of nausea rolling through you under the soft cotton. Outside, it's still raining, translucent ropes sluicing off the overhang of the roof.
You almost immediately regret stepping outside, feeling as if it's a betrayal of the care Leon took to get you warm; but you needed it. The chill of the air forces your thoughts to line up, to wait to be addressed one by one.
His hand leading you home, your wool coat hung to dry, his shirt waiting on the bed for you to occupy - each act a silent invitation; the realization stirs inside you, grips your collarbones from the inside.
Could it be…?
You should ask him, but you've asked for more than enough tonight.
He slides open the glass door, sweatpants low on his hips; the lamp on his nightstand illuminates him from behind, feathering out all his sharp edges. Maybe it's not love; maybe it's just lust, desire - a need so great it's all-consuming. You have no point of comparison to use as a frame of reference, to assist in finding the distinction.
"I was away for a few days, there's not much in the fridge. Is ramen alright or do you want to order something?" He asks and it's love, you are suddenly sure of it.
You turn; the sight of Leon in the buttery glow of the bedroom acting as a beacon, guiding you through the terror. "Ramen is fine."
#(writing)#leon kennedy#leon s. kennedy#resident evil 4#leon resident evil#resident evil 4 remake#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy x reader#leon scott kennedy x you#leon kennedy x fem reader#leon s kennedy x fem!reader#resident evil x reader#resident evil x you#geez how many variations of the leon x reader tag is there...#i do not think i got them all but this is More than enough
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Lonesome Superhero
Pairing: Gator Tillman x f!reader (not romantic)
Summary: Gator keeps hitting on you and you finally give him a piece of your mind. He's not the sweet boy you once knew anymore - or if he is, it's far too difficult to see.
Tags: No spoilers! Angst. Post episode 1 and 2.
Warnings: language, misogynistic themes from the show
Length: ~1.3k
A/N: This just popped into my head and I needed to get it out. Gator is despicable and unless he has some major character growth, I can't bring myself to romanticize him. I do think his character is super intriguing though. I hope we get to dive deeper into what makes him tick throughout the season. (:
(Plus, I have a theory that Gator may have unintentionally been a witness to his mother's murder as a boy...)
Fic below the cut or on AO3 here
It's in the way the frosted glass door harshly swings open that immediately lets you know who is behind it. There could only be one person who felt entitled enough to barge into a retirement home like he owned the place.
You swallow thickly. Not again.
Turning around from your medicine cart, you find him standing there in his camouflage cargo pants and a black t-shirt that is two sizes too tight. His hands perch on his hips as his narrowed eyes and cocky smirk aim in your direction.
"Gator, please. Not today," you speak coldly.
His smirk only grows. "Oh, c'mon, babycakes, you don’t know what you're missin'!"
"Gator!" you scold, trying to hush your voice in front of your patients. "Come with me, please." Anger bubbles up inside of you as Gator's face contorts into a triumphant grin. He saunters forward as you lead him toward the back entrance of the small facility.
In the shadow of the building, the fall air nips at your bare arms. The chill, however, is easily quelled by your boiling blood.
"How dare you come to my place of work!" You waste no time laying into the Tillman son.
Your ferocity catches Gator off-guard, causing panic to dart across his features. He takes a half-step back, pulling his head and neck along with it.
Oh, but you’re far from done with him.
"For weeks now, you've been popping up wherever I go, asking me to go out with you in the most degrading ways possible! Every. Single. Time. I have turned you down, yet you clearly cannot take ‘no’ for an answer! And now you have the audacity to show up at where I work and do the same? No! It doesn’t work like that, Gator. I worked hard for my career. I went to college, got my license, and came back here to help my community. I am respected in this building, and I will not tolerate you waltzing in here like God's gift to women and disrespecting me in front of my patients!"
Out of breath and seething, you continue to stare Gator down. He looks downright gobsmacked – a mixture of a wounded pup about to run and a cornered hound ready to bite.
The silence is deafening. You wait for Gator to snap back like he always does – some moronic comeback that's as pathetic as his barbed wire LOL tattoo.
And predictably, he does just that. "What the hell?!!" he cries out, stepping towards you and invading your space. The pungent odor from his last puff of vape wafts off his breath. "I'm the law in this town! I'm a winner! All you ever do is humiliate me! You're fucking awful!"
"I'm awful?!" you scoff, eyebrows shooting skyward. You're about to rip him a new one when you simply stop and shake your head in pity. "What happened to you, Gator?"
Once again, the Tillman son is rendered speechless. His dark brow pinches together in confusion. "Wha-?"
You seize your opportunity to dive a little deeper. "I mean, what happened to the Gator from middle school? The one who used to be my friend? The boy who was sweet and kind and would spend lunch hours reading comic books with me. It's like you suddenly woke up one day and decided to become an asshole, always acting out in class and purposely bullying other kids. Doing reckless shit because your dad could get you out of trouble. And now? I think you've gotten worse! Hell, Mrs. Lakeland told me that you all but pushed Gladys Baker out of the way at the corner store the other day. What the heck is wrong with you? Who do you think you are?"
"I - I -" he stammers, head spinning. Then Gator swallows, puffing up his chest. "I take what's mine! I take what I'm owed. I made it through police training. People in this town owe me their respect, so I take it as I see fit."
"Newsflash! That's not how you get respect, sunshine," you retort. "Respect is earned, and from where I'm standing, all I see is a pathetic man-child whose daddy got him where he is today. 'My father is the sheriff' are the magic words that force people to step out of your way. That's not respect; that's notoriety from being a grade-A asshole!"
Gator's face twists into a snarl while his fists clench and unclench at his sides. You've clearly hit a nerve.
Even though you’d love nothing more than to lay into him some more, you remind yourself that it’s notworth the fight. Instead, your chest constricts with disappointment. "I don’t get it, Gator,” you speak softly. “Why do you let your father run your life? He says to jump and you ask how high. When are you gonna wake up and realize that he's just using you?"
If it wasn’t clear that you’d struck a nerve before, it certainly is now. Gator’s combat boot strikes the gravel, sending up a cloud of dust and dirt, and his cheeks glaze over with a deep red flush. "I don’t – He doesn’t –" Lost for words, Gator simply clamps his jaw shut. He kicks at the ground again and throws his hands to his hair, letting out a frustrated yell.
You hop back in surprise; a fearful gasp escapes you at his sudden outburst.
Gator's head whips back up, and those dark eyes meet yours.
Middle school was a long time ago, yet Gator remembers everything. He remembers how nice you were to him; how one day you saw this quiet boy sitting alone at lunch with a comic book and decided to come over and ask what he was reading. He used to dream of being as invincible as the superheroes in his books – Gator's way of shielding himself from everything that he'd seen. But then you came along and somehow made him feel a little less alone. He adored you and your friendship, eventually developing a little crush. That was, of course, before Gator was taught that girls weren't supposed to like comics, that men lead while women follow, and that his father's word was absolute. If he pleased his father, any situation could go Gator's way. The power sought after by characters in his comic books was right at Gator's fingertips; all he had to do was prove to the senior Tillman that he was worthy. Nothing else mattered.
And now? Gator almost had it. He was so close to having his father's approval. He was certain of it! Why couldn't you see that? Why couldn't you see how awesome he had become? He had buried his crush on you away while you were at college, but now that you were back, there was no reason to hide that he wanted you. And there should be no reason why you wouldn't want him either!
Except…your words today hurt. They made Gator feel puny and pathetic. How could you say that he was just his father's pawn?! He was his own man! A tough and strong and important man in this town...right?
You watch as despair briefly flashes across Gator's face before quickly being replaced by aggravation. He grunts again prior to spinning on his heels and stalking off.
No! Gator is his own man, and you were just the type of woman his father had warned him about! His crush is stupid, and so are you...
As Gator storms off, his ears catch your quiet words laced with pity. "Silly me for thinking that the sweet guy who read comics with me would still be in there.”
For the first time since he was a boy, tears stab at Gator's eyes. He scrunches his eyes closed and shakes his head, instead focusing on the sound of gravel crunching under his boots as he slinks away.
Thanks for reading! Feedback is loved ❤
| Series masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
#gator tillman#fargo#fargo season 5#gator tillman x reader#my fanfic#fargo fx#joe keery#lonesome superhero series
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How To Woo A Hot Principal
Chapter 5: Step 5: Wine and Dine
Summary: Working at the weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-workers. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.
But truly, when it came to Larissa Weems, who could blame you?
Buckle up besties things are gettin hotter. Also thicc thanks to the bestie @misssmephisto and all the gay ideas she has shared with me. This fic would succ without her🦐✨
Tags: @variant-2402 @the-bagel24 @eveymay @kimiinou @muffintopxs
(pls let me know if I missed you I'm a forgetful shrimp)
Chapter 4
Cross Posted on AO3 here
HTWAHP Masterlist
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“She’s taking you on a date?!”
“It’s not a date James,” you sigh, cleaning the table tops.
“You’re going out for dinner in Burlington and you don’t think it’s a date?”
“You’re the one who said she’s out of my league!”
“That was before she invited you to dinner! Plus, she is still out of your league, but maybe you have some charm hidden under there.”
Externally? You were calm, cool as a cucumber, as the kids say. Internally? You’d been panicking since she’d asked you yesterday morning and could barely think any other words than “fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.”
She had asked you so casually. You had brought her her morning coffee, you’d been telling her about one of the locals that had caused a scene in the cafe when she sprung the question on you.
“What would you say to dinner tomorrow night?”
“What?” You had eloquently uttered.
“You said I should take time off. So what would you say to dinner tomorrow night?” She asked, taking off her glasses and fidgeting with them.
“I- where uh where would we go?”
“I know a rather nice place in Burlington. If you’d rather not I completely understand-“
“I’d love to go to dinner with you.”
She had finally looked up at you at that. She seemed shocked at first but then her shock dissolved and she flashed you the brightest smile you had ever seen. You swore at that moment you would do whatever it took to make her smile like that all the time.
So now you were standing in your room, staring intently into your closet trying to find something to wear. You have no idea what kind of restaurant it is nor what Larissa is wearing. You do know however that you have an hour to get your shit together. You eventually settle on one of your fancier outfits. You put on some makeup and end up arriving at Nevermore 5 minutes early.
You exit your car and end up halfway to the entrance when it opens. You stop dead in your tracks and fight to keep your jaw off the ground when you see Larissa.
Oh my god, she was wearing pants. PANTS.
You were almost certainly dead and had somehow made it into the good place. Larissa Weems was standing there wearing the most flattering pants you’d ever seen on a woman. She had paired it with a cute turtle neck that she had rolled up the sleeves of and seeing her bare forearms was giving you unholy thoughts.
God, you were gay. You were gayer than gay. The gayest around. Fuck this woman was making it hard not to kiss her senseless.
“Hello darling.” She all but fucking purrs, looking you over.
“Uh, I- uhm you. Hi.”
“Are you ready to go?”
You nod dumbly, following her as she leads you to the car. You do shamelessly stare at her ass as you follow her and find yourself blushing and thanking her when she opens your door for you.
When you arrive at the restaurant Larissa, ever the gentlewoman, gets out and opens your door for you. And then, as if you weren’t already swooning, she leads you inside with a hand on the small of your back. You genuinely think you’ve died and ended up in heaven.
“You look absolutely ravishing tonight darling.” She murmurs, pulling out your chair for you.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you joke, “but really you look so- you just- You look amazing.”
“Thank you darling,” she murmurs, blushing as she sits down.
You look around, taking in the fanciness of the place. The whole place screams way out of your budget. Larissa must notice you starting to get nervous because she reaches across the small table and grabs your hand, sending you a bright smile.
“Order whatever you like sweetheart. It’s on me.” She comments, looking over the menu.
“I- you don’t have to-“
“I know. I want to. So don’t worry about it.”
“I-I don’t even know what to order. I’ve never been to a place as fancy as this before.” You murmur, looking over the menu.
“The steak here is pretty good. And they have a wine that goes really well with it.”
“Oh yeah? So you bring many baristas out here then?” You smirk, dropping the menu.
“Oh yes. I wine and dine every pretty young lady I come across.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
You’re interrupted by the waiter coming to take your orders. Larissa orders for both of you, and the waiter leaves. She then clears her throat and turns her attention back to you.
“So where did you come from? Before you moved to Jericho I mean.” She asked.
“Well, I actually grew up in a small town similar to Jericho. And you know, being a small-town kid all I wanted was to live in the city with all the different kinds of people and that stuff. So I went, and I- it didn’t work out. Rent was fucking expensive and I ended up working two jobs to cover it which just made me depressed and anxious. And it didn’t help that I was already not the healthiest adult out there what with my bouts of weakness and fainting episodes. So after a couple of months and basically a mental breakdown I decided to move here. I would’ve gone back home but I…I just didn’t want to go back to the same people I had grown up with and their disappointment and judgement.”
Larissa gapes at you and you realize you’ve just… let that all out. You start to apologize when she grabs your hand again.
“I’m so sorry you went through that,” She murmurs, “but I’m glad you’re here and I- I do hope Jericho is better for you, I- you deserve to be happy.”
“Well, how could I not be happy when I got to meet a literal goddess among mortals.” You flirt, attempting to lighten the mood.
She blushes at that humming and looks away. The rest of dinner is less exciting but just as wonderful. Larissa tells you about some shenanigans the students have been up to and a little bit more about her time at Nevermore as a student. You talk for hours, she questions your choice in steak (you have it as rare as possible and she finds it interesting.)
You could talk to her forever. And you’re sure you would have, had the restaurant not had a closing time of 10. The two of you apologize to the waiter for staying so long and make your way back to the school.
You arrive back at Nevermore a little while later. You both get out of the car and stop outside Nevermore’s entrance.
“Thank you for inviting me Larissa I-I really enjoyed tonight.” You smile.
“Thank you for accompanying me, I can’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun.”
“It was my pleasure.”
The two of you stand there for a moment before you both speak.
“I really don’t with tonight to-“
“I was wondering if you’d like to-“
You both flush and you gesture for Larissa to speak first.
“I was wondering if you’d like to come in for a drink?” She asks.
“Yes!” You reply, a little too enthusiastically, so you try again. “Ahem. I mean. Yeah, that sounds neat.”
She chuckles at your antics and leads you inside. As you’re following her to presumably her quarters you can’t help but think that all of this really does seem like a date. The dinner? Rather romantic if you’re honest with yourself. And now? Going back to her rooms to have a drink? That’s definitely slightly fruity.
You realize, upon arriving at her office, that Larissa’s rooms are attached to her office. Which is both handy and baffling considering you’ve been in her office almost every day for the last few weeks and somehow missed the door leading to them. She asks you to take a seat on her comfy couch while she fetches the wine and the glasses.
You sit, suddenly having the thought that if this is a date then you’re woefully unprepared for the Larissa Weems to be romantically interested in you. However, you argue, this could just be her wanting company and you are a pretty good friend. So there’s no need to jump to crazy conclusions like the sexiest woman on earth being interested in you.
“Darling? Are you alright?” Larissa asks, suddenly in front of you with two glasses in hand.
“Huh? I mean yes? Sorry, I just zoned out a bit there.” You blush.
“I do often wonder what goes on in that pretty little head of yours.” She hums.
Christ is she flirting with you??
“It’s not really that interesting truly, a lot of memes or silly songs on repeat more often than not.”
She laughs at that and the two of you settle back into comfortable conversation. About an hour goes by before you finally muster up the confidence to ask the question that’s been on your mind since you arrived.
“Larissa…”
“Yes, dear?” She hums.
She’s sitting next to you on the couch, her heels off and feet tucked beneath her. She’s leaning against the back of the sofa, one hand propped under her head and the other holding her only half-empty glass. She looks so…domestic. It makes your heart flutter in your chest.
“I was just wondering. And I mean I may be really wrong and if I am we can just forget I even opened my big mouth. Maybe I shouldn’t even be asking this. I really don’t want to ruin things between us because you’re like the best person ever but-“
She moves her hand to your thigh, sitting up a bit straighter (and subsequently closer to you somehow). Your eyes dart to her hand as it squeezes your thigh and now your throat is dryer than the Sahara but your underwear will definitely be the opposite.
“What is it you want to ask darling?” She purrs, again ruining your underwear further.
“I uh. This dinner thing. Was it…was this a date?” You finally manage, bracing yourself for the worst.
For a solid moment Larissa just stares at you, her eyes wide. You’re certain it’s the longest moment of your life, and in it you contemplate throwing yourself out the nearest window. You’re about to start back tracking and apologize when she laughs.
And truly, you love her laugh, but right now you can’t help but think she’s laughing at the idea of her being interested in you in that way. You don’t blame her but it makes your heart clench and you look away, doing your best not to burst into tears.
“It was stupid. I’ll just go-“
“Darling-“ she smiles.
“It’s okay! It was silly of me to think someone like you would even like someone like me like that, I know. I’ll just go and we can forget-“
“Darling.” She stops you, still smiling but much more serious. “I’m not laughing because I think it’s silly.”
You hum at that, still not meeting her eyes. She grabs your chin then, forcing you to look at her.
“I was laughing,” she starts, leaning closer to you and whispering, “because I thought I had been rather obvious.”
“Obvious?” You whisper back, still confused.
“I have been flirting with you for quite some time now sweetheart.” She hums.
“Oh.”
Oh.
OH.
“So you- you’ve been…with me? You like me?”
“Very much so.”
“Wow.”
You sit there, taking it all in, taking her in. You then, much to your utter horror, let out the most girlish giggle you have ever giggled. You want to be mortified but she beams at you, her teeth showing and all thoughts exit your head.
She cups your cheek, her thumb brushing over your lip. You part your lips as you do your darndest to breathe. You glance down at her lips, watching as her tongue pokes out to lick them. When you look back at her eyes they’re darker than you’ve ever seen them, her pupils blown.
“I’d very much like to kiss you now, if that’s alright.” She whispers.
“Please.” You whisper back, desperate.
She closes the gap, her soft lips brushing against your own. It’s short and sweet and gentle and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. And then she’s pulling you into her lap and she’s kissing you again except this time it’s needy and desperate and very hot.
Your head is empty aside from the sensation of her lips against hers and the feeling of her body beneath your hands. She runs her hand down your back, palming at your ass and you barely suppress a moan at the feeling. Somehow you manage one coherent thought as you sit there, straddling her lap and kissing her.
Larissa Weems will be the death of you.
#HTWAHP#larissa weems x reader#larissa x you#principal weems#larissa weems#wednesday#principal weems x reader
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Title: Rude Awakening
Word count: 2,573
Rating: 18+
Ship: Bret Hart x Shawn Michaels
Tags/Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Bret POV, Handjob, Blowjob, Alcohol
Also posted to my a03: aa_beatrix
Here is my first fanfic in probably 6 years. I'm so nervous about it, but I hope you Hartbreak shippers like it. I'm fairly new to this ship so please be gentle. 🥹 Thank you to the encouragement of my sis @taydaq, @imabillyami, @crxssjae, and @superkickme 😘
Let me know if anyone wants to be tagged in future fics, I do plan on writing more. 🫣
Bret sat silently by his motel window, watching the rain gently glide down the glass. What a shit day he had, it was only fitting the weather was also terrible. The promo he had just cut with Shawn weighed heavily on his mind. He was so tired of the little prick. Night after night he had to observe Shawn flamboyantly parade around the stage. Not only did he have to watch the annoying spectacle, but also endure the man occasionally shake his bare ass at the crowd. The fans ate it up and he couldn’t fathom why. They were close once, it seemed a lifetime away. Thunder cracked, startling him from his thoughts. The universe was telling him to relinquish any thoughts of Shawn for the rest of the evening. He didn’t want Shawn in his head more than was required, especially while he was alone in his motel room. Bret made his way to the bed, climbing under the covers and slowly he drifted to sleep.
Abruptly there was an aggressive and continuous rap at his door. Bret was barely able to open his eyes as he dazedly glanced at the bedside clock. The time read 2:00AM. “Who the fuck-?” he grunted as the knocking became louder. He whipped the blanket from his body while quickly swinging his legs over the mattress. “I’m coming dammit.” he spat, stumbling to the door in his sleepy stupor. He put his eye to the peephole. “Jesus Christ…” none other than a Heartbreak Kid disruption. “Hey! Big daddy cool! Open up big sexy!” Shawn half yelled, half giggled. Bret opened the door, “wrong room shithead. Some of us are trying to sleep.” Shawn was drenched. He had clearly spent some time in the rain. “Whoa.” Shawn raised both hands up in defense. “This isn’t Kevin’s room?” Bret made a show of moving his hands up and down his own frame, “clearly it isn’t you asshole, what are you drunk?” Shawn put his index finger and thumb together, “Mmmm…maybe just a pinch.”
Rolling his eyes, Bret took in Shawn’s appearance. He was soaked, so much so he had created a pool of moisture on the motel floor. He was a mess. “Do you know which room Kevin is in?” he asked, not wanting Shawn to be his problem this early in the morning. “Hmmm…well I thought this was his room…so I guess…no.” he said with his signature smile, chuckling to himself. “You wouldn’t mind if I bunked here tonight, eh Hitman?” Shawn asked while running a hand through his wet hair. Bret thought this must be some cruel joke the universe was playing on him. The last thing he wanted in his room was a drunk wet dog named Shawn Michaels, but he couldn’t let him wander aimlessly up and down the halls, slamming on random doors, and calling for big sexy.
Bret crossed his arms, “shit. Fine. Do not drip on anything.” Shawn grinned, “Thanks Hitman, you’re the best there is and ever will be.” he said, pushing Bret to the side and slapping him on the arm. Bret closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. “The bathroom is to the left, I can get you something to change into.” He closed the door and turned to find Shawn already on the bed. “Are you fucking kidding me Michaels? You’re super fucking soaked. Get off the bed, now.” Shawn rose, propping himself on his elbows. “Oh man…I am?” he asked, real concern in his voice. “Uh, yeah. Get up.” Bret demanded. Shawn moved almost intentionally slow, the blankets getting more and more saturated.
“Dammit Shawn. Get your ass to the bathroom.” he said, grabbing Shawn’s arm, shoving him towards the open doorway. “Alright, alright. Ya don’t gotta be so touchy.” Shawn almost immediately began stripping off his flashy costume. He shook off his vest and began removing those hideous chaps he insisted on wearing. He kicked off his boots next and in doing so Shawn had noticed Bret leaning against the door frame observing. Bret in an instant knew exactly what he was about to do. Shawn turned, his back facing him and commenced shimmying his tights down to wiggle his ass at him. “Like what ya see Hitman?” he taunted. Bret kept his face stoic, but could feel his cheeks beginning to flush. “Stop that shit and just get cleaned up would you?” he urged moving away. Shawn smirked, pulling his tights completely off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Bret began pulling the blankets and sheets off the bed, discarding them onto the floor. He could hear the water start to run and eventually steam wafted outside the door. He pulled out a plain white t-shirt and gray sweats from his suitcase for Shawn to wear. Bret climbed back into the bed to try and get some more sleep before they had to be on the road again. The shower stopped and after a few minutes, he felt the empty side of the mattress shift. “Absolutely not boytoy.” he murmured. “Oh come on Bret, there’s not even a couch in here.” Shawn whined. “Not my problem. This is already obnoxious without having dry blankets, you are not sleeping up here.” Shawn in a child-like tantrum, huffed off the bed and onto the floor with one of the pillows. Within minutes he was fast asleep.
Outside rain still poured and thunder intermittently boomed, a particularly loud burst was enough to rattle Bret awake again. The clock registered at 5:00AM. He could hear Shawn’s slow and steady breathing, surprised Shawn didn’t also wake. Rolling to the opposite side of the bed, Bret peered over. Shawn was lying on his side facing him. Long blonde hair fell down around his shoulder and pillow. His bangs draped over his eyes. Shawn was beautiful, anyone could see that. Bret found his eyes had lingered, observing the white t-shirt he let the man borrow had slightly uplifted, revealing a small glimpse of Shawn’s tanned stomach. Quickly he averted his gaze and rolled back over. Squeezing his eyes shut, focusing on the sounds outside in an attempt to stifle an unresolved hunger he had no business feeling towards the Heartbreak Kid.
Unable to rest, he again got out of bed to reside by the window in the lone chair. He needed air. He opened the window just enough to feel the cool misting of rain against his face. Minutes later he heard Shawn stirring, a small groan escaping from him as he stretched. Shawn sat upright, dreamily looking at Bret. “Can’t sleep Hitman?” he mumbled. Bret ignored him, keeping his view to the window. “I gotta take a leak.” Shawn yawned as he shuffled towards the bathroom. Bret listened as Shawn fumbled around in the dark, hearing the toilet flush and sink run. He came out in the middle of another yawn, “Fuck me, I’m gonna be sore. You think people will believe me when I say I’m sore after spending the night in the Hitman’s room?” he laughed. “Don’t even joke about that shit Shawn.” Bret spat. “I’ll kick you out right now, don’t test me.”
Shawn cautiously made his way to stand in front of him. “Come on, would it be so terrible? Maybe this is exactly what you and I need.” Shawn said, reaching out a hand to brush the inky strands of hair from Bret’s face. Bret caught his wrist, stopping him. “Don’t.” Shawn only invaded his space more, moving his leg to part Bret’s thighs. His free hand tilted Bret’s chin upward so he could meet his stare. “I know you look at me. Just like I knew you were looking at me over there.” he said, nodding his head in the direction of the bed. Bret jerked his head away irritated, but Shawn hadn’t released his grip. Shawn lowered himself, his mouth inches from his ear, “I like it when you look at me…”.
Bret felt many things for Shawn Michaels. Desire he could always snuff out, now he wasn’t so sure. Shawn closed the space between them, placing his lips to Bret’s temple. Bret involuntarily let go of Shawn’s wrist, finding he was nuzzling into Shawn as he continued to trail light kisses around the side of his face. “Touch me Bret…” Shawn sighed into him. Bret moved his hands to Shawn’s waist, tugging him forward so the younger man was situated between his thighs. Shawn moved his hands to cradle his face, lifting him slightly from the chair into an eager kiss. Bret let his own hands find their way under his t-shirt, running his fingers up Shawn’s back. “Come here.” Bret breathed against Shawn’s lips, guiding him to straddle his lap.
Shawn smiled into their kiss, feeling Bret’s growing excitement beneath him. Shawn slid his hand down, teasing at Bret’s erection. “I knew you always had a hart on for me.” he joked. “Do you ever just shut the fuck up Michaels?” Bret gasped in between Shawn’s stroking. Their mouths fought for the upperhand, Bret captured Shawn’s bottom lip and bit down roughly. Shawn withdrew, taken aback, “Damn hitman.” he snickered, testing his lip for blood. He hated Shawn and this was probably a huge mistake, but all he wanted to do was make Shawn shut up. Swiftly he grabbed Shawn by the thighs, hoisting him up, and threw him to the bed. Shawn bounced onto the mattress, promptly grabbing at Bret’s shirt to yank him forward. Bret landed a quick peck to Shawn’s mouth before moving to devour his neck. Strategically he removed the pesky white t-shirt from Shawn, creating a makeshift tie to bind Shawn’s wrists.
He ran his tongue down to Shawn’s shoulder; tasting sweat, motel body wash, and a hint of rain water. Not an ideal flavor, but damn did it taste good on Shawn. Bret flipped Shawn effortlessly onto his stomach, keeping hold of his bound wrists. He swept Shawn’s hair to the side, kissing the nape of his neck. Shawn arched into him, craning his neck to meet Bret’s lips. His fingers felt for the waistband of Shawn’s sweatpants, sliding his hand under the fabric, not surprised to find he wasn’t wearing underwear and grasping his cock. Letting go of his wrists, he tapped the side of Shawn’s hips, signaling Shawn to prop himself on his knees. Shawn read him easily as if inside the ring and elevated his backside, pushing against Bret’s groin, breaking their kiss and keeping his face down to the mattress.
“Holy shit, Hitman…I want you.” Shawn sputtered as Bret began to steadily pump Shawn’s dick. “Fuck, I’ve always wanted you, Bret.” he mumbled into the bed. How long had Shawn wanted him? Was it nearly as long as he wanted Shawn? Over the years he had indulged himself in the occasional sexy boy fantasy and every time he loathed himself for it. He was a complete hypocrite with each jab at Shawn for shooting that girly mag. Now he had Shawn under him, unapologetically jerking him off. He brought his free hand to clasp Shawn’s throat, easing him upward so he could relax against his chest. Bret continued his deliberate rhythm, relishing the low moans and the way Shawn began to thrust into Bret’s hand. “Jesus. Don’t stop.” Shawn whimpered, burying his face into Bret’s neck. He could tell Shawn was getting close, his panting becoming more rapid.
The feeling of Shawn nestled into his body was intoxicating. Sure, they had their physical history in the ring which was intimate in itself but maybe Shawn was right after all. Maybe this was exactly what they needed. What they couldn’t settle on the mat, they could settle behind closed doors. Bret pressed his lips to Shawn’s forehead, “You know I still hate you?” he said, his words muffled against Shawn’s skin and damp hair. “This doesn’t change anything between us.” The hold he had on Shawn’s neck became a little tighter. “Even with my…dick in your hand, you still…manage to be all business.” Shawn choked out as Bret’s pace began to quicken. Bret covered Shawn’s mouth, muting the wail expelling from him as he erupted into Bret’s hand. Shawn clawed at his hold with his own constrained wrists, his hips rutting wildly into Bret’s palm as he rode out his orgasm.
Bret released Shawn, letting him drop to the mattress. He lay there exhausted, chest heaving and glistening with sweat. Shawn twisted his wrists from the tied up shirt, easily exiting his confines. “Bret baby…” Shawn with eyes still glazed over, rolled to face him. “Please, let me make you feel good too.” he begged, crawling between Bret’s legs to play with the drawstrings of his sweats. He lifted Bret’s shirt, kissing gently at his stomach. The touch of Shawn’s lips pressing at his skin made him shiver and the thought alone of the blonde going down on him was damn near enough to make him come. Against his better judgment, he leaned back and let Shawn take control.
Shawn slid his sweats and underwear down, revealing his throbbing erection. Without much pause, Shawn took him into his mouth. He let his eyes flutter shut, Shawn clearly had done this a time or two. His mouth felt so warm, so good, his tongue hitting all the right places. He clutched at Shawn’s hair, allowing his fingers to entangle themselves. “God damn Michaels…” he managed to groan as Shawn licked up the length of his cock. He wasn’t going to last much longer. Shawn was unrelenting as he held tightly to Bret’s thighs, keeping him in place as his hips bucked desperately into the heat of Shawn’s mouth. He couldn’t help the mangled cry Shawn managed to pry out of him as he came. “Holy shit.” he breathed, unable to form anything else articulate.
The rain seemed to intensify outside the window, brisk air filtering in and caressing their moist bodies. Shawn had positioned himself on top of Bret’s stomach, his chin resting on crossed arms. “I bet you didn’t hate me just now.” he purred. “Fuck you.” Bret smirked, propping a hand behind his neck. His dark eyes met Shawn’s baby blues. “What now?” Shawn asked. Bret’s other hand traveled down to brush the hair from Shawn’s face, tucking a rogue lock behind his ear. “I don’t know. We have to get up soon.” Shawn emitted a breathy sigh, “Let’s stay like this a bit longer.” he insisted. The Heartbreak Kid’s eyes closed as he leaned into the way Bret lazily threaded his fingers through his golden hair.
Internally Bret felt the need to run, this dangerously bordered on affection. He should shove the younger man away, tell him to get lost, and figure out what to do before their next show. However, his needs and wants were very different. He had said nothing would change, but deep down he knew neither of them believed that. Would they fall back into their rivalry or back into bed? What was to follow after, they couldn’t know now and they didn’t have to address it just yet. This sweet silence was preferred to all the bullshit they put each other through. Even if they had got it wrong, they could figure out the details later. Before the other knew it, the sound of the rain mixed with their slow breathing lulled them to sleep.
This quiet moment was theirs to keep.
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tsamsiyu ta'em - strangers like me
Masterlist - part ten
Summary: Kayla continues to learn about island life with the Metkayina and also learns a bit more about her teachers along the way. Tonowari and Ronal find their student strange and intriguing.
Pairing: Ronal/Tonowari/Original Female Character
Tag: #tsamsiyu ta'em fic
posted on ao3
Word Count: 6k+
Taglist (bold indicates "could not tag"): @motheroffae @undeniableadrenaline @mooniequeen @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @heart-an0n @amiets2 @slutforsmut4ever @yeosxxx @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @sucker4angstt @inolaphoenix @ilovechickenwings tojisleftarm andyfromku @ivysully
A/N: I am so sorry for my absence! I wish I have a good excuse for being absent, but the truth is I'm not doing so hot in the real world rn. My job is cutting back hours and I barely have enough for rent. I'm getting a second job next month so hopefully, things smoothen out.
Here is the long-awaited update that I will kick myself for delaying in exchange for obsessively crying over Good Omens Season 2. Let the montage of Awa'atlu life commence! Again, thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy!
Note: The title is named after the Phil Collins song "Strangers Like Me" because Tarzan and Avatar just go together XD
To avoid having Ronal hunt her down again, Kayla got up earlier the next morning and made her way back to the village to join her brother's family for breakfast before her lessons. Kiri was definitely doing better and Tuk was excited that her aunt had decided to see them off before their busy days. After pleasant conversations and the promise to meet before their midday meal, the kids took off to pursue whatever they planned for the day. Kayla stood up with the intention of going to find either the tsahik or the olo'eyktan and so Jake walked her out of the marui as they talked.
"So Neteyam mentioned that you guys talked about what happened between Lo'ak and Ao'nung," Jake started off.
'Oh, boy, here we go,' Kayla thought as she tilted her head to glance back at him, feigning partial innocence, "Yes? What about it?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to let you know that it's already been handled, and it sounds like the boys are actually getting along now. Neteyam also mentioned that you didn't get to meet Ao'nung yesterday so I wanted to make sure you knew this before you went looking for a fight with the kid."
"Jake, how young do you think I am?" When his face twisted with hesitance, she rolled her eyes, "Don't answer that. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not a child, I'm older than I look, and believe it or not, I do realize this. You don't have to worry about me... but you could've been a little nicer to Lo'ak."
Jake refrained from also rolling his eyes, knowing his sister would say this. He wasn't blind. He was well aware that Kayla would always be quick to defend his youngest son, no matter what he did. Jake was half-convinced that Lo'ak could get away with murder as far as his aunt was concerned, "He knew he wasn't allowed to go beyond the reef but he went anyway. He was at fault as much as Ao'nung."
"I get that, but it feels as though Lo'ak received more punishment than the boys who actually put him in danger, and for what?"
"For picking fights."
"No, for defending his sister," her eyes narrowed, "Not that you would know what that means."
Jake took the verbal lashing in stride, internally sighing, "I can't punish the chief's son for what he does against my kids, Kayla."
At first, Kayla had every intention of cursing her brother out, but instead paused and tried rephrasing her response. Her eyes drifted to the reef while she recalled far-off memories, "I remember Mom and Dad were allowed to punish the neighbor kids if they misbehaved with us and no one would bat an eye."
The mention of his old life irked him, and he wasn't afraid to show that in his deep snarl, "Well, Mom and Dad aren't here and we're not on Earth," her posture visibly stiffens but doesn't interrupt. Jake's wave of anger is immediately replaced with guilt, so he opts in taking a breath before he could say anything else he might come to regret, "Things are different here. So be civil and keep the peace. Don't go picking fights with teenagers."
"I won't," she mutters darkly, the coldness in her eyes returning as she side-eyes him, reminding Jake that he still wasn't out of the storm regarding her, "That's what you're here for."
She doesn't stay long enough to hear whatever rebuttal he might have in mind. Instead, she walks down the pathways leading further into the village before calling back, "I'll see you later."
Tail lowered in distress and possibly shame, Jake could only turn back to the marui and try to go about his day as he normally would. He knew he deserved the petty insults and his sister's aggression toward him, especially after all the radio silence she had endured for months while he was here experiencing a new way of life, on top of everything else. He just wished Kayla could manage to let go of all the pain and anger like he did when he first began to learn the ways of the Omatikaya. Physically, Kayla's avatar hasn't changed apart from the new Na'vi trinkets she had added to her standard-issued cargo shorts and crop top. However, Jake had hoped her mentality toward him would change the more she learned how to be Na'vi.
He knew he was a fool to get his hopes up so soon.
Walking through the village, Kayla went down the same route Ronal had brought her yesterday, hoping she would catch sight of the tsahik. Again, there were some stares from the Metkayina, but they didn't last as long as the day before and the reef people didn't look as bothered by her appearance. The Na'vi go about their day without much acknowledgment to Kayla, and before she knew it, she had made it to her destination, the craft huts she had met Tsireya just the other day.
It wasn't hard to find Ronal among the crowd of mottled skin patterns. Her accessories, tattoos, and rounded stomach are a dead giveaway, and the tsahik easily found Kayla in the crowd in turn, though it wasn't as hard, given the circumstances. Ronal's eyes visibly squint when her gaze lands on Kayla, then the Na'vi woman pulls away from her task to rise and meet the avatar. Another Na'vi stands to join her, a teenage boy and Kayla had an inkling who it was.
When Ronal approached Kayla, she motioned to the boy behind her, "My son, Ao'nung."
Smiling timidly, Kayla greets Ao'nung as respectfully as possible, though even she could admit her smile was tighter than usual. Ao'nung didn't say a word back, instead deciding to simply nod and avoid eye contact. His ears drooped and his head lowered like this was torture for him. Clearly, he was being coerced into being here with Kayla, but she decided not to fault him for it. Perhaps he's already being punished enough for his wrongdoings that he didn't need Kayla to torture him further about it.
Ronal doesn't appear to notice nor care for Ao'nung's discomfort and sternly stated to Kayla, "We will be teaching you how to communicate underwater. Do not fall behind or you will be left behind."
Kayla refrains from the small smile that threatened to escape her. Ronal's words vaguely reminded her of Neytiri's way of teaching Jake both from the stories she heard and the video log Jake had recorded. As Jake had once phrased it, 'Learn fast or die.'
With that in mind, Kayla doesn't complain and silently follows Ronal and Ao'nung away from the craft huts and further down the pathways. It didn't take long before they brought their guest to a large marui. It wasn't as big as the communal pod for the feasts, but it was significantly taller and wider than the normal ones Kayla has seen, including the Sullys' marui. She took note of the different colors of weaving and decorations adorning the home, such as the totem and skimwing skull hanging over the front entrance in greeting, a small windchime of shells softly dancing in the warm breeze. If Kayla had to guess, this was the olo'eyktan and tsahik's pod. Soon after stepping inside, both Ronal and Ao'nung lower to the ground, sitting back on their legs and Kayla does the same, proceeding to listen as Ronal starts off the lesson.
Nothing eventful happened as Kayla learned the Metkayina equivalent of sign language. Ao'nung never said a word regarding Lo'ak or any incident that happened with Kayla's nieces and nephews prior to her arrival. In fact, Ao'nung didn't say a whole lot other than chiming in a time or two to help Kayla with the lesson. Perhaps he never said a word outside of the subject of his people's sign language because his mother had been giving him sharp looks throughout the whole lesson. It was hard to miss. Ronal wasn't exactly a subtle creature. She openly expressed whatever she was feeling, unafraid of hurting someone's feelings, not even her son's, it would seem.
It was amusing to find all the similarities between the mother and son, both physically and spiritually. Their glare, eyes, and even their pout were the same. Kayla even dared herself to look a little closer without getting caught and noticed that Ao'nung inherited the same mole as his mother's, both spots found above their lip, on the top right side.
She must have lost track in time as the suns rose higher in the sky. Before she knew it, her next teacher had shown up to take her to her next destination. Tonowari stepped up into the marui, his large frame blocking the majority of the light coming in through the entryway. His gaze brushes over Kayla and Ao'nung before his eyes land on the tsahik, "Ma Ronal. Is this a good time?"
One of Kayla's ear flick to the side at the term of endearment, glancing over to the woman in question who only firmly nods and stares back at Kayla, "Go on. My mate will continue your riding lessons from yesterday."
Kayla mutters her thanks and stands up to join Tonowari. As they turn toward the exit, the olo'eyktan points back to his son, "Ao'nung. Remain with your mother."
"But, Father--"
"Do not question me, boy," the tone in Tonowari's voice was a little louder and stronger than normal, and even Kayla could feel her spine straightening up, despite not being under his scrutiny. Kayla briefly glances back at Ao'nung and notes the way he shrinks in on himself, still unable to look her in the eye, clearly embarrassed. Kayla looks away and follows Tonowari out of the marui, shadowing his footsteps as he addresses her, "I apologize for my son."
For the moment, Kayla had the empathy to pity the teenager and decided to soften the blow against Ao'nung, "There's nothing to apologize for. He was a pleasant enough teacher."
His voice had reverted back to its normal tone, significantly smoother and kinder on the ears, "Did you learn well?"
"I think so. It's not that different compared to what the Sky People have," when he flashed a questioning glance over his shoulder at her, she further explained, "They have a language that requires hand motions, too."
He doesn't question it further, instead looking back ahead and leading Kayla down to the docks. The ilu anxiously await their arrival in the water below, clicking and calling excitedly as Tonowari pulls a harness over one of their heads. The two adults get into the water and stand beside the earnest ilu, Tonowari trying to calm the creature whilst Kayla makes tsaheylu. She mounts the creature with ease, remembering yesterday's lesson and dreading the idea of falling off again as Tonowari begins reassuring her, "You need to exude confidence. Tell the ilu that you will command them and you will be respected by them. Do not give them space to come up with their own ideas."
She takes a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and nodded, waiting until Tonowari steps away before commanding the ilu to move forward using only the bond connecting them to each other's thoughts. The creature obliges and all appears to be going smoothly. Kayla manages to instruct the ilu to swim faster before eventually sinking underneath the water's surface. The ilu picks up speed and even as she clings on for dear life, Kayla could already feel her grip loosening. Angry and determined, Kayla tightens her thighs around the saddle of the creature and demands her bonded steed to leap out of the water and let her breathe, no room for nonsense.
To her shock and delight, the ilu chirped happily and sprung out of the water like a bullet, briefly flying through the air and allowing Kayla to take a breath before diving back in. She was so shocked that she almost lost her grip before regaining composure and asking the ilu to do it again, in case she had only imagined her success. The ilu was ecstatic to leap out of the water again and did so without a fuss, and this time, Kayla laughed as the shock wore off.
On the surface, the woman is met with a small audience. Lo'ak, Neteyam, and Tsireya were out riding their own respective ilu that afternoon before briefly pausing to watch a school of fish swim all around them, tickling their feet. Just as Kayla appeared to finally be getting the hang of riding an ilu, the teenagers caught notice of her as well. Lo'ak is the first to spot her, cupping his hands over his mouth as he crows in encouragement, "Go, Auntie! Woo-hoo! Yeah! You got it!"
Kayla laughs as Neteyam and Tesireya begin to cheer her on as well, their voices carried by the winds as Kayla and her ilu dive into the water and back out again. By the time Kayla remembered herself and returned to her teacher, Tonowari had his arms crossed but otherwise appeared pleased by her improvement, tail leisurely swaying behind him with curiosity.
~~~~~~~~~
Weeks go by since Kayla first arrived in Awa'atlu, and despite having to adapt to yet another completely different culture, Kayla had to admit that it was getting easier as time went on. She originally thought the ways of the Metkayina were a cakewalk compared to the Omatikaya, but maybe it was because she learned from the Forest People first that made learning from the Reef People easier than she originally thought it would.
She makes sure to reiterate this to Norm and the other humans every time she sees them. When everyone in Awa'atlu is meant to be resting, Kayla retreats to her campsite and secures her avatar form before closing her eyes and breaking the neural link. The next time she opens her eyes, it's within the link gurney back at High Camp. Norm and Max are always there to greet her, asking about her headaches and other health problems. There were days even Kayla had to admit were rough. After spending so much time in her avatar form, it's starting to strain the link connecting herself to her human form and it causes massive headaches every time she breaks a new record of not reporting back for days on end. To distract her friends from lecturing her, Kayla just updates everyone on Kiri's condition and relays any messages Jake or the rest of the Sully family wanted her to bring. In return, the scientists or even the Na'vi, such as Txe'la and Meui, would update her on any information regarding Ardmore or any Sky People activity.
She's always left disappointed when they say the same thing. No one has seen Spider.
Trying not to let the news discourage her, Kayla always wakes back up in her avatar form in better spirits so as not to worry Jake and his family. Kayla continues to treat the days as normal, continuing her lessons and helping out in any way she can so as not to overstay her welcome. When she wasn't following Tonowari or Ronal around, Kayla was usually in the company of her nieces, nephews, and their new friends.
Tsireya was one of those friends, and she was such a sweet girl who would happily entertain Kayla in any endeavor. When she wasn't busy, one of Kayla's favorite pastimes was helping Tuk and Tsireya find seashells for their hair and any jewelry idea they had in mind. Tsireya, as Tuk said, knew all the best spots where the shells were always fully intact and not crushed into pieces by the harsh tides. During these little adventures, Kayla, Tuk, and Tsireya would learn more about each other, bonding over the fact that they were all their families' younger sisters.
The sign language was easier than the verbal language, but Kayla felt as though she had a rug pulled from beneath her feet when Ronal knowingly stated that she was going to be teaching her student a third language. The tsahik, with the help of other Metkayina, began to teach Kayla the language of the tulkun, the sea creature Kayla learned to be the spiritual animal and companion to the Reef People, as the ikran is to Forest People. Apparently, not even Kayla's nieces and nephews have progressed as far as learning the tulkun language yet, and they became ecstatic to realize that they would be learning this alongside their aunt. Joining Ronal in these lessons with Kayla and the Sully kids would also be Tsireya and Rotxo, which only excited the forest kids more. Ronal wasn't as pleased with her own student when she caught Kayla fondly watching the children interact more than once.
Kayla had to learn this extra language on top of her breathing lessons, the latter of which was taught by both Tonowari and Ronal. Sometimes they would teach her separately, and other times they would do so together, but whatever the case may be, it didn't matter to Kayla. She would carefully listen to whoever was teaching her, and sometimes she listened so intently that she caught herself observing her teachers a little too closely.
Like Tonowari's eyes for example. Kayla noted they were a light blue at first as she sat cross-legged across from him while they practiced breathing exercises. But upon closer inspection, Kayla noticed specks of green engulfed by those blue orbs, like clumps of islands surrounded by warm sparkling oceans.
He was a clenched fist with a gentle touch. Kayla greatly admired him for being someone who could easily take advantage of his strength and position above his people but chooses to be kind and soft-spoken instead.
It was fascinating for Kayla to see just how different the Metkayinas' eyes were compared to the Omatikayas'. Whereas every Na'vi of the Forest had orange or yellow cat-like eyes, the ones who live off of the reef had rounder and bigger eyes, not to mention they had a variety of different shapes, sizes, and colors.
Like Ronal's eyes. The opposite of her mate's, Kayla noted that Ronal's eyes were more green than blue, with specks of a warm, gold color, like a sunset reflecting off the ocean surface.
She was orphic, but that's as far as Kayla allowed herself to describe the tsahik.
There was plenty to say about Ronal, but Kayla thought it best not to linger on any of the words bouncing around in her head. It was clear to her that the tsahik will always disapprove of Kayla and her presence among the Metkayina, so Kayla didn't want to compliment the Na'vi woman too much, especially since she doesn't intend on staying for very long.
Her stay was still very much temporary, at least in Kayla's eyes, as she still intends on going back to the forest to find Spider. For now, however, she was content with her small campsite just inside the treeline of the Metkayina island, a campsite that Ronal appears to disapprove of along with everything else about Kayla. The tsahik still has to occasionally venture out and find Kayla among the trees if she is in need of the avatar woman, like today when Ronal had the mind to take the time to find Kayla. It wasn't hard since the demon had kept her promise and never moved her campsite so she would be right where Ronal could find her. Still, Kayla was apologetic when Ronal found her and the tsahik begrudgingly told the foreigner to follow her back to the village.
Ronal brings her to the shoreline and recruits her to help fix an ilu pen that had begun to wither with age. Tonowari was already hard at work on it and briefly looked up to greet the two women when they sat down on the edge of the pathway and gracefully slipped into the water with him. After a brief instruction from him, Kayla gets to work in silence, and Ronal isn't opposed to doing the same. The silence wasn't as awkward as they were in the past, but out of the corner of her eye, Kayla could clearly see that something was bothering the tsahik, as Ronal wasn't ashamed of openly frowning while watching Kayla work. She didn't appear to be glaring in disapproval, but she looked... frustrated. It was as if she was trying to figure out a complicated puzzle. Kayla briefly glanced at the Na'vi positioned on the other side of her and noticed that Tonowari was much more subtle than his mate. Unlike Ronal, he only snuck glances at Kayla and her work here and there and did his best to hide whatever expression was on his face.
"Am I doing it wrong?"
"No. You're doing well," a compliment was not what she was expecting and it shows as Kayla's ears perk up and her eyes briefly widen. Ronal pointedly ignores the reaction and blatantly asks, "Why do you not stay with your brother's family at night?"
Kayla looked at Ronal, nose scrunched slightly in confusion, all the while completely unaware of the stare Tonowari sent to his mate from above Kayla's head, "Why would I?"
"Group sleep is also customary in the Metkayina."
"What's a group sleep?"
By Eywa, did the Omatikaya teach this alien woman anything? Ronal huffs out an irritated sigh, "Families sleep in large groups, usually in their swaynivi. Some clan members will sleep alone or with their mate just as long as they return to their family's nivi in a short period of time. Otherwise, they're deemed spiritually unhealthy. It is unsafe for one to sleep alone."
"I see," Kayla's ears pin back and her posture straightens, understanding the question now while pointedly staring down at her work on weaving the ilu pen together instead of addressing Ronal, "Well, where I'm from, that's called an invasion of privacy. I would assume that the families who sleep in large groups mostly contain parents and their children, correct?"
She doesn't wait for a response as she further explains with a small distaste in her mouth, "Since I'm neither of those, I don't want to invade my brother's and his children's privacy. Thank you for your concern, but I've been alone for a very long time. I can assure you that I am just fine with the sleeping arrangements I have now."
Even Ronal can sense a dismissal when she hears it in Kayla's voice. It was clear that the alien woman didn't want to further discuss this topic and so the tsahik didn't push it. Returning to her work, Ronal now briefly shared a glance with Tonowari but he pointedly kept his mouth closed during the whole conversation and after.
Luckily, the silence is saved by Neteyam as the teenager arrives with a purpose, slightly bouncing over the pathways above the adults' heads, "Auntie. My father is looking for you."
Kayla's discomfort visibly melts before Tonowari and Ronal's eyes. She looks up and smiles at the Na'vi boy, "Tell your father he can come and get me himself next time instead of sending you out. You should be elsewhere, enjoying the reefs and hunting with your friends."
She briefly turned back to the clan leaders, silently asking for approval to leave with her eyes flicking between the two Metkayina. Both nodded and openly watch as Kayla turns back to Neteyam, smiling up at her nephew as she rises up onto the pathway and follows him out, gently shoving him once to get him to pick up the pace so she didn't trip on his heels.
Neteyam huffed a small laugh as they walked, but the sound falls in replace of shame. He was visibly acting a little shy as he avoided eye contact, "I am sorry that I told my father about our conversation. I should have asked for your permission."
"Hey, no harm," she nudged him, "It's not like our talks are meant to be a secret or anything. It's nice that you can trust your father with everything; trust him enough to talk about whatever you want. As long as you're comfortable, kiddo."
"Was your father not like that?"
Kayla bit her tongue to refrain from visibly wincing, staring directly ahead instead of at her nephew, "No. I don't think he was. Not from what I can remember. Mostly I relied on Tommy and your dad growing up."
"What was my father like as an older brother? Am I like him?"
Kayla briefly grew quiet as they walked, pondering about how she could best word this to her oldest nephew. She tried seeing Jake in Neteyam, she really did, but whenever she tried comparing the teenager's best traits, they only remind her of Neytiri. And when Kayla thinks about Jake, all the pain and other torture he had put her through both intentionally and by accident, she couldn't even fathom Neteyam doing the same thing to his own siblings. Physically and mentally, deep down she knew that Neteyam was nothing like his father, and she was secretly grateful for that.
So instead of agreeing, Kayla simply smiled while staring the teenager in the eyes so he could see her sincerity, "No, 'Teyam. You're like Tommy. He was the older brother. When it comes to how you treat your siblings, you remind me of him, and I think your father sees it, too."
~~~~~~~~~
When Ronal isn't busy with her duties as tsahik or teaching Kayla, she is making sure Neytiri also adapts to their way of life. Although the former tsakarem had been comfortably accustomed to island life by the time her sister-in-law joined her family, Ronal still takes Neytiri into the jungle for a second pair of hands to gather the needed plants and herbs for her stock. Today was no different as the two women stumbled across a large jungle tree, larger than any of the others around them. Instead of following Ronal's suggestion to skip this tree and its healing fruits in exchange for a shorter one, Neytiri stops and shakes her head. Ronal was adamant about moving on since she was in no condition to climb and wasn't built to climb trees even if she wasn't currently pregnant.
Neytiri still shook her head in defiance and simply said, "You need Forest People."
The Forest woman opens her mouth and calls out at the top of her lungs, causing Ronal's ears to twitch in response to her whooping and cawing. Notifying her family about her location, it didn't take long for Jake, Kayla, and all the Sully children to come running to Neytiri's call.
Neytiri proudly smiles at her family while explaining why they had been summoned, "Our tsahik needs the fruit from the top of this tree and the ones surrounding it."
The others take a moment to look at one another before Kayla breaks the silence, briefly tapping Tuk's shoulder before running off, "'Last one to the top is a rotten egg!"
Tuk squeals and immediately chases after her aunt. The older Sully kids smile and break into fits of laughter, following suit and running after Kayla and their little sister. They all leap up, grabbing onto the lower branches before lifting themselves up, climbing expertly higher without their arms protesting the weight of their bodies. Ronal watched them climb higher and higher, keeping her expression stoic while observing the way Kayla makes the collecting and scavenging into a game for her nieces and nephews, challenging them to see who can gather the most fruit. In the corner of her eye, Ronal could still see Neytiri standing beside her, also watching the trees and smiling fondly up at her family. Jake soon stands beside his wife, hands on his hips while watching his sister and his children with a careful eye.
It was then did Ronal address Toruk Makto directly, flashing a face of disapproval, "Does your sister always act so childish?"
Jake's posture stiffens and he struggles to find the right words under the tsahik's watchful eye, "Well-! Uh..."
"No, only with the children," Neytiri answers for him, eyes hardened when they meet Ronal's as if daring her to speak again, "She plays with them because she wants to remind them that they are still just that. Children."
~~~~~~~~~
Kiri woke up bothered about something and everyone could tell. That girl didn't know how to hide her feelings no matter how badly she wanted to, the definition of an open book. Even though no one knew why she was upset, they could clearly tell that whatever it was, it had something to do with her aunt. Kiri wasn't necessarily cold to Kayla, but the teenager would go quiet and only speak in one-word responses whenever the older woman spoke directly to her.
Kayla decided that she needed to fix whatever was going on between herself and her oldest niece, so she offered to take the children out as the afternoon slipped into the evening. Neytiri suggested bringing them swimming through the reefs to collect barnacles and other underwater plants for tonight's supper, a passing time a lot of the villagers tend to do. Kayla takes up the idea and presents it to the Sully kids, who all agree to go, some more enthusiastic than others.
Tuk immediately splashes into the water and her brothers chase after her. Meanwhile, Kayla and Kiri linger on the beach, watching them disappear into the ocean. Kayla had tried breaking the tension with a small smile, "So when are you gonna show me how to use those underwater fairy wings?"
She was hoping for a small laugh or even a smile, but Kiri does neither. Instead, she looks sad and distracted, looking out over the horizon where the sky meets the sea, daydreaming of other lands... of home. Kayla bravely touches the girl's shoulder, and when Kiri looks up, her aunt could see the concern plain on her face. The avatar woman squeezes Kiri's shoulder, "What is it?"
Kiri bites the inside of her cheek before giving in, letting out a small sigh, "When are you going back to the forest?" She quickly understands how that could easily be misinterpreted and corrects herself, "It's just that-- you promised you'd look for Spider. And yet, you're here and he still hasn't been found yet."
Kayla relaxes both in posture and touch, removing her hand from Kiri's shoulder and instead letting it fall to her side, "I'll likely be gone by the end of the week, but for Norm's peace of mind, I'm going to be running a few tests on you so he and I both know you'll be okay," silence follows and Kayla reaches out once more, letting her hand gently grasp Kiri's arm, "Kiri, look at me."
The teen does so, a little belligerent at first. Upon staring up at her aunt, Kiri could see the determination in her eyes that closely matched Kiri's father's. Kayla tilts her head down to try and stand more at Kiri's height before softly explaining, "I haven't given up. And you might find it pointless to keep an eye on you after what happened, but I don't, and I don't think Spider would either. Think about it, kiddo. Spider would want us to make sure you're alright before we ever went looking for him."
Kiri ducks her head and watches her toe make shapes in the sand beneath her feet, "I know... but that doesn't mean I have to like it. He deserves to be put first for once."
Silence lingers between the two of them before Kayla simply says, "You're right."
Kiri doesn't wanna look up to see whatever expression was on her aunt's face. Instead, Kiri takes her arm and drags her to the water, "Come."
"'Where we going?"
"You said you wanted to learn how to use a txampaysye."
Kayla's nose scrunched up, testing the word on her tongue with bitterness, "How do you even spell that??"
Kiri manages to loosen up and laugh before they both held their breath and sank down into the water, sinking until they joined the rest of the Sully children. They introduce Kayla to txampaysye -gill mantle- and instruct her on how to use it in order to breathe underwater. Kayla wasn't far off. The gill mantles really did look like fairy wings, but other than maybe a few comments or stories, none of the Na'vi children would know what exactly a fairy was. The children and their aunt spend the evening doing as Neytiri suggested, gathering underwater plants and barnacles alongside other Metkayina, most of whom all wore the txampaysye. By the time the communal dinner rolled around, the Sully family was exhausted, but content all the same.
~~~~~~~~~
A peaceful morning where the Sullys invite Kayla over for breakfast goes uneventful until they're rolling up their nivi after a good night's rest. Their peace is interrupted by a horn, followed by whoops and hollers of celebration coming from outside. Confused and on edge, Jake and the kids emerge from the marui, looking around as the Metkayina jump around and dive into the water, making the newcomers curious as to what was going on.
Their answer came in the form of Tsireya, astride an ilu as she waved down her people from the water below their homes, "The tulkun have returned! Everybody! Our Brothers and Sisters have returned!"
Kayla looked up toward the atoll wall protecting the village from less docile nature. Emerging from the tunnels and pathways underneath the wall were rolling waves indicating something large below the water. Spurts of seaspray spring out like geysers from beneath the ocean's surface. It was a large pod of whale-like creatures, massive and slow. Their descent onto the village was graceful and one that brought much joy to the Metkayina as they couldn't get in the water fast enough.
The Sully kids couldn't wait either, jumping from the walkway around their home and into the water below. They scatter, exploring the new creatures one way or another. Tsireya had grabbed Lo'ak when she spotted him and pulled him onto her ilu, swimming away to introduce him to her Spirit Sister. Jake summoned his tsurak and both he and Neytiri take off to observe the sacred animals themselves. Rotxo had come around and pulled Kiri and Tuk away too, leaving Neteyam and Kayla to wander. Ao'nung was not far behind his friend, however, and invited Neteyam to come along with him to find his own Spirit Brother. Earning a small reassurance from his aunt, Neteyam doesn't hesitate to jump in and both teenagers each grab an ilu and take off, making a game of chase with Ao'nung in the lead.
Neteyam kept close to Ao'nung the entire time. The chief's son leads Neteyam through the chaos expertly, the two of them swimming quickly around a particular tulkun. Kiri, Tuk, and Rotxo were hanging onto the bull's fin and gliding peacefully through the water, the tulkun likely the reef boy's Spirit Brother. Neteyam was only able to catch a glimpse of this as they swim by, keeping close to Ao'nung's tail and playfully chasing him.
Jake had been leisurely swimming his skimwing through the maze of tulkun and Metkayina before glancing off to the side and perking up. Reaching back and tapping Neytiri's thigh to grab her attention, he waits until her eyes are on him before pointing out the sight he stumbled across. Following her husband's gaze and finger, Neytiri spots a mother tulkun and her calf, the smaller whale-like creature keeping close, mostly under its mother's fin or belly. Neytiri smiled with delight, her heart melting at the picture.
Kayla had been floating above the surface, watching the vast sight of tulkun from up top the back of an ilu she had successfully summoned. She didn't venture very far until the olo'eyktan sought her out. She noticed his tsurak first, flying above her head before gracefully sinking into the water, folding in its webbed fins. Tonowari brings it back around and swims up to Kayla's side, a determined smile on his lips, "We must put all that you learned to the test. Come meet my Spirit Brother and see how well you can understand and communicate with him."
She nods and dutifully follows him into the water after taking a deep breath. They submerge and take off, weaving through and around the large bodies of tulkun, dodging other ilu and Na'vi while Tonowari keeps his pace slow for Kayla's ilu to catch up. Underwater, Kayla can get a better look at the tulkun, and to her amazement, she realized that most of them were tattooed like their respective Na'vi. Eventually, they come across a large bull and Tonowari slows to a complete stop, disengaging from his tsurak and openly swimming the rest of the way to the heavily tattooed tulkun male. Kayla disengages from her ilu and watches it swim away before swimming in the same direction as the olo'eyktan, keeping a small bit of distance while he approaches the tulkun, greeting it like an old friend with a wide smile before gesturing Kayla to come closer.
When Kayla swims close enough to float near the large eye of the creature, Tonowari motions to the bull and makes rapid hand movements, "This Makayla te Suli tsmuke te Toruk Makto. She is of the Forest People and has come to learn our ways."
"Greetings, Makayla te Suli." The tulkun sings, and Kayla is delighted that she can understand him.
She quickly signs back, just as she had practiced, "I See you, great and mighty tulkun."
"Have you learned much since your arrival?"
"Yes, many things. I have excellent teachers in the olo'eyktan and the tsahik."
"Indeed. You are in good hands with my Brother and his mate. Ro'a speaks highly of her."
Curious, Kayla turns to the olo'eyktan in question, hands slowed by the water as she asks through the Metkayina sign language, "Is Ro'a Ronal's Spirit Sister?"
Tonowari nods while further explaining with his hands, "Yes, and I believe Ro'a has just given birth to her first calf."
"Indeed." The tulkun calls softly, the beautiful sound muffled in Kayla's ears like a song trying to pierce through cotton, "We are very proud and happy for our sister. What of Ronal's child?"
Tonowari beams, "Growing fast. Halfway there."
Kayla faintly smiles as her lungs begin to faintly burn, then quickly makes the appropriate hand motions to signal, "Forgive me. I need air."
She tilts her head upward and kicks her arms and legs to plunge up to the surface. Kayla immediately gasps for air the moment her head broke through the ocean waves, taking deep and calm breaths while looking around at all the joyous reunions going on around her. Laughter and cheers are still clinging to the approaching afternoon air, not a single Metkayina worried about the day's chores as they are too busy reacquainting themselves with their Spirit Brothers and Sisters. Kayla fondly watched these interactions, her heart warm and yet... sad as she watched the Na'vi swim around her without a care in the world. It's not as though she expected anyone to notice her, but it was a brief realization that today she was invisible and an outcast compared to these beautiful tulkun creatures. It was just another reminder that she didn't belong here and she had no Spirit Sister of her own, feeling out of place among an entire lagoon full of tulkun, Na'vi, tsurak, ilu, and other aquatic creatures.
Once she caught her breath, Kayla inhaled deeply and stuck her face back into the water to check out the activity going on beneath her treading feet. Looking around, she managed to catch a glimpse of a familiar Na'vi, a woman, adamantly communicating with her hands toward another tulkun, a female and her calf. Kayla recognized Ronal's ornaments that expressed her importance among the other Metkayina, along with her rounded belly. Without those traits, however, Kayla wouldn't have recognized her because the tsahik was smiling, broadly, unbothered by anything going on around her as she spoke to what had to be her Spirit Sister, Ro'a.
In all the weeks Kayla had been living here, she had never seen Ronal smile, let alone smile like that.
A/N: Please remember that I can't reply to any comments below every chapter because I'm using a secondary account. So if you have questions about the series you would like answers to, please put it in the ask box, thank you!
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Just a brief notice that updates are gonna be spotty from here on out as summer is coming to a close and I'll be working two jobs next month (Sept). Keep the love and support coming and I hope to update for y'all soon!
#tsamsiyu ta'em fic#ronal x reader x tonowari#tonowari fanfic#tonowari x reader x ronal#tonowari x reader#tonowari#ronal x tonowari x reader#tonowari x ronal x reader#ronal#ronal x tonowari x oc#ronal x reader#tonowari x oc#tonowari x ronal#ronal x tonowari#avatar 2#avatar the way of water#avatar 2009#atwow#avatar#james cameron avatar#avatar imagine#atwow imagine#atwow fic#atwow fics#atwow fanfiction#avatar fic#avatar fanfiction#avatar fanfic#james cameron#atwow imagines
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this might be an unpopular opinion but actually i think that in homecoming mcu peter was very well characterized? i thought he brought the sass and was very headstrong and i think that's why that film is my favorite out of his, he was throwing himself into situations without deliberation with just a very restless and agitated feel to him at points, and actively driving the plot forward in a way that to me felt very baby peter. i think that fanon (like irondad, woobifying him in fics etc) has contributed to a perception of him that isn't super strong in actual canon. i also think the writers would benefit from reading your tags on that post lol, cause mcu spidey is at his best when HIS choices are actively driving the plot, and at its weakest when hes reacting to things happening to him like in far from home. there's potential for spidey 4, there's a lot of room for angry, broken, but hopeful peter, and i'm sure the mcu will disappoint me but i am a fool and live in hope :')
i guess you have some kind of a point there, and i can see the point you're making - but – i think where it doesn't work is that we never actually get an inkling as to why peter's restless and agitated. why he cares so much about being a hero. why he wants to. when like, in civil war he actually kind of didn't want to get involved with the avengers. he was blackmailed into it. so why that 180?
no consistency in the mcu. no consistency at all. i hear that writers don't even consult each other between movies, and i believe it ,, considering how much whiplash i consistently get from mcu character motivations. (constantly thinking of civil war where hawkeye tells scott "you might go to jail for this", and scott says "yeah well what else is new" nonchalantly, like he didn't just fucking have an entire movie where is whole motivation was "i do not want to go to jail because i want to be with my daughter." what the fuck?? what the fuck mcu??? what the fuck?????????? the mcu does this with literally every character too. tony destroying all his armor in one movie and the next one making ARMOR FOR THE WORLD??????????????? 180s just across the board. we're gonna do a thing and then 3 seconds later we're gonna do the exact opposite thing. i hate the mcu.)
in the comics we entirely understand why peter is agitated and restless. we've seen it. we see his justification literally on the front page of his first appearance in amazing fantasy #15.
the world mocked timid teenager peter parker. so peter wants the world to see the awesome might of spider-man. there you go. that's why he put on the stupid tights. we get it. two sentences and we get the whole schtick.
we pointedly do NOT get to see what kind of kid mcu peter parker was before the spider-bite. we never get to know. we do not know what changed. he doesn't even talk about it. not even freaking once. he never laments that he used to be weak. he never expresses the sentiment that his life has improved now that he has powers, or even what having powers really means to him. just a "i've got powers now. guess i have to become a hero. i guess." there's no motivation for him at ALL. power doesn't mean a thing to him. he's just some kid who has powers i guess and who else is kind of super? uh? tony stark?? yeah okay i wanna be tony stark i guess.
IT ALL MEAAAANS nothing!! ! ! ! ! ! nothing fucking at all!!!!!! it's actually SO SO missing the point of spider-man entirely to not pay any mention at all to who peter parker was before the spider-bite. that lives in him every day. it's an ANXIETY that lives in him every day of his life. it's something really important for you to know about peter. in every issue spider-man is IN, this anxiety manifests in some kind of way, in everything he does.
we never see what's changed for him, how it affects his dynamic with his friends, with aunt may, with anyone. it's barely a source of tension for him because actually, his secret identity is thrown around like it's a joke. it baffles my mind how much the mcu misses the mark with spider-man, actually. whenever i think about mcu spider-man i discover some new way they misunderstood spider-man. i didn't even think about how much is missing from just the omission of pre-spider-bite peter parker. it's such a vital part of spider-man's motivation that's been wiped. his motivation in the mcu is so, so vague. his motivation is the same as any kid who has seen an iron man movie. "hey that guy can fly. i want to fly too. and i want to buy iron man action figures and i want a cool suit too." uhh?? yeah?? what kid doesn't?? lame. lame and weak. mcu peter parker doesn't have a unique personality trait to differentiate him from any 10 year old who's watching these movies. weak and lame.
#sci speaks#sorry i wanted to be more on your team anon because your ask is sweet and optimistic and i wanna be sweet and optimistic too#but every time my brain gears start churning over the mcu i find new ways to hate it#sci talks movies
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