#who WOULDN'T have a crush on wyll? be real.

[forcedhesitation]

no actually bring this back, I think it's always believable for a character to be taken aback by wyll's princely charms.

[scribblingplace]

Propositions - Bg3 Fic

“You know darling,” Astarion says brightly, fiddling With his fingers as he plasters a smile on and keeps his tone light.

“I've been thinking about you-”

He has after all, and about his other new travelling companions, and about his situation, and about how the worm is probably coming out shortly, and about how he's absolutely fucked if it does and he's left to his own devices, he needs someone on his side.

He could do worse.

The Party makes a deal with a hag, Astarion muses on his travelling companions, and his options, and makes some decisions, and I practice writing a Bg3 character who isn't my OC.

“No!”  It's really quite a surprise to see Dirk snap like that.  But then, the druid is under an awful lot of stress, they all are.  But she’s bearing it terribly.  Not a moment goes by where she doesn’t look like she wants to run or cry or snap.

Perhaps there’s no real surprise after all.  It's just a pity she's picking now to do it, when it would be so easy to just take the prize and leave Mayrina to her stupid fate.

“You're giving me the girl, you're giving me the boon, or I'm doing things to your corpse you can't come back from.  You know I know how Agnes!”

It would have been a more impressive little speech if she'd gotten the hags name right.  But there's a ripple of Dirk's magic, that clogging of the air he's getting so used too.  And for a moment, Ethel does look scared.

Rather a feat, in his opinion.  So far Dirk hasn't been able to intimidate so much as a squirrel.  And here she is yelling at a Green Hag and bullying her into submission. 

But then there's a certain tenacity to the little beast, and it is respectable.  He certainly wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of those claws.

“Girl.  Boon.  Now. I’m on a schedule!”  Dirk moves forward with every intent to gut the woman, a brief flash of magic in her eye, And her nails are dripping ichor again.

Apparently Ethel doesn't want to be on the wrong end of Dirk's claws either.

She puts her hands up in a supplicating gesture as she steps back.  “Fine.  Here.  Don’t get your knickers in a twist”  

“Take care petal.  Have fun with your tentacles.”  And then Ethel is gone in a puff of magic.

And then she pulls out a wad of hair and tosses it on the ground.   “I’ll not soon forget this sweetness, you have my word.” 

Astarion swears he sees Dirk flinch at the threat, even as she’s shouting back one of her own.  Something about turning Ethel into fertilizer, probably within her skill set.

Ethel doesn’t seem to be paying a great deal of attention either.  Because Mariana (is that her name, Astarion can not be bothered to care,) is whining now, and Ethel and her are bickering about her lousy deal, it’s mostly Ethel telling her to shut up.  Which Astarion is all for. 

Not that he speaks up.   Best not to attract the attention of malevolent fae after all.  Wyll and Gale also seem content to let this play out in the background, so maybe they’re smarter than he’s been giving them credit for.

Properly gone too, or she’d still be wreathed in faerie fire, silhouetted as she tried to flee..

“She was going to eat your baby.”  

“You bastard! You ruined it! You ruined everything!” 

Gods, they’re being shouted at by Mary anne now.  Dirk is just blinking at her owlishly.  

Astarion snorts, something about Dirk’s delivery of that damning bit of news.  He’s not sure she’s ever made a joke in her life.  But sometimes she’s very, very funny.  At least to him, because Wyll is shooting him a look for that, and Gale is clearing his throat to say something.  

“What? No, she said she’d raise it teach it magi-”

“Yeah, as a hag, that’s what hags do with babies.  They eat them, then they vomit up a new intellectually distinct baby.”  

“She lacks a bit of finesse but, essentially, yes.”  Gale chimes in, clearly feeling a bit worse for delivering that crushing blow now.  

“But she-”

“Look, whatever she was offering has a catch, and it would probably be ironic and bad and awful anyways now thank us for saving your stupid life and leave.”  Mayrina just blinks and then turns to slink off.

She does not thank them.  But then, did anyone actually expect her too.  

There’s a beat of awkward silence between the four of them before Wyll speaks up. 

“Did you have to be so harsh, she didn’t deserve-”

“Yeah she did, she’s a shit parent, and someone should tell her what she nearly did!” 

“What are we supposed to do with, that?” 

Perhaps he ought to do something.  As much fun as it would be to see them come to blows, they do have other things to get done today.  He clears his throat and points at the wad of stringy hair and scalp dangling from it.  There's a bit of mushroom too. 

“I believe the done thing with this sort of Eerie token is-” Gale is cut off by Dirk shoving it in her mouth.

“You eat It, same as the worms.” Dirk says, chewing.  

Gale gives a little nod of agreement, Wyll looks disgusted.  

“Come on, we may as well loot the place while we're here. Might have something for Gale.” Dirk is already moving off deeper into the hags lair.  

She gives a little thieves cant gesture for Astarion to follow.  

“We'll look for traps, you two do upstairs.”  

Astarion falls into step behind Dirk, a thoughtful look on his face.

It's astonishing how easily she seems to take the role of leader.  He’s not sure anyone else seems to have noticed.  She certainly doesn’t seem aware she’s the one who’s plans they follow.  Too busy bulldozing ahead in a blind panic. 

He suspects there's a lot Dirk hasn't noticed about herself. Like how useful she actually is in a fight, or how pathetically invested she gets the minute someone gives her a sincere thank you.  A scrap of affection.  

And apparently she can be a bit terrifying. 

He could certainly do worse.  

If it wasn't for all the fungus and general grime she's covered in she might even be attractive, or at least endearing.

But, as it is, she's a little impressive, and useful, and she seems to, if not actually like him. (And honestly does the little sewer rat like anyone?  He suspects not.)  Well, she agrees with him, mostly, seems startlingly indifferent to the whole vampire thing, now that it's out in the open.

He could do worse.

“You know darling,” Astarion says brightly, fiddling With his fingers as he plasters a smile on and keeps his tone light.

“I've been thinking about you-”

He has after all, and about his other new travelling companions, and about his situation, and about how the worm is probably coming out shortly, and about how he's absolutely fucked if it does and he's left to his own devices, he needs someone on his side.

He could do worse.

He could also be trying to seduce Wyll who is at the very least attractive, but Gods know they'd end up coming to blows the minute Astarion tries to actually feed himself or makes some snide comment the Blade of Frontiers doesn’t appreciate.  No, he’s out.  

So Dirk it is.

“About?”  She interrupts his Internal debate, jogs him out of that momentary hesitation.

“Oh. Us, our time together all the things we've shared, and I don't just mean your blood,” he says casually.

The speed with which Dirk whirls to face him is astonishing.  As is the look of confusion. 

Though honestly hardly a surprise, he doubts any one has ever tried to flirt with her before.

“I'm growing to like the whole package really.  And you clearly like me too so...”  

He trails off, Dirk Just stares.

“What?” 

From her tone he can tell he has misjudged this horribly, it’s still confusion mostly.  And annoyance, maybe disgust.

He should abort, run away, were this a bar in Baldur's gate he'd simply give up and move on to the next mark, but there no other sloppy desperate horny drunks around, and there are no other really viable options because everyone else in this blasted party is in a cult, or on fire or a professional monster hunter!

“Oh come now, don't be coy, your body’s already given you away, I could feel your little shakes of excitement as I was getting lost in your veins, you enjoyed it didn't you?”

“That was anxiety, I shake when I'm nervous, and you were chewing me!”

Right, this could not be going worse, Astarion takes a step back, still speaking, trying to fill the air before she can.

“Well-” Just a moment's hesitation as he recovers- “allow me to make it up to you,” he tries, “I know a secluded place not too far from the grove, we could take an evening to ourselves, indulge in one another.”

She's staring at him like he's grown a second head.  Has he been too subtle?

“No.”  Dirk says flatly.  “That sounds bad.”  

And then she turns around again to inspect the bottles, leaving Astarion baffled and fuming.  

That should have worked.  She should be flattered! Elated!  And instead she’s just-  Gods.  It’s not as if she knows he thinks she’s disgusting?  Does she?  He’s opening his mouth to say something else but he’s cut off when a clay bottle is shoved directly in his face.

“This sounds like it's full of bees right?  A bee adjacent hex thing?”  Dirk wiggles it, it does sound like it's full of bees.

He considers her as she scurries about, inspecting things like a squirrel.  He’s probably dodged an arrow there.  Back to the drawing board.

“Here.  You can throw it at someone.”  She’s holding it out, practically shoving it at him.  “It’ll probably hurt.”

He takes it, considers it for a moment, then pockets the thing, she’s already turned back to the shelf of earthenware bottles.  Sniffing at them as if she can divine something from scent alone.

[nightingaletrash]

With a Little Help From My Friends 2/2

aaaaaaand part 2 of the Karlach Fix-It fic!

AO3

--

There was an acrid stink of sulphur that filled the workshop as Dammon melted down the unfinished infernal armour. The parts had been studiously dismantled, the leather and cloth being set aside should they be needed for another project some day, while the iron was carefully checked for impurities that might meddle with the mechanisms or prove too brittle even for a prototype. And while Nemeia couldn’t boast any real knowledge on the subject, it had evidently passed the test as Thulla had immediately handed roughly two thirds of the iron off to the smiths with the rest being thrown to one side for disposal. 

Meanwhile Zanner and Nickles worked on the parts that their people had salvaged from the Steel Watch. Their work was rhythmic in its own way; they would each pick up a piece or part, lift it to their ear, strike it delicately with a hammer and then lifted it to listen again. The difference was indiscernible to Nemeia, but it was enough for them to form a small series of piles - rejects to be discarded of, ones suitable for use in the prototype, ones to be melted down for later, and the ones they intended to save as they were for the final product.

Between the sweltering heat of the forge, the constant bustle, and the stink of rotten eggs, Nemeia and the others decided to wait outside until Dammon and the gnomes were done.

For some, the stink of fish and brine wouldn't be an improvement over the sulphur, and the sun still beat down with its warm summer rays, and while the cool sea breeze more than made up for it, the sudden relative calm left open air to think and the ghost of Karlach began to buzz in her ears once more.

What was the point? I’m still dying. I’m dying. I’m going to die!

The anguish burned in her ears as her chest tightened. She reached over her shoulder to grab her violin, as if tuning it would push the memory away. It was done. Gortash was dead, and now they were going to fix what he had done as best as they could. It wouldn’t be the same as getting her heart back, but it had to be better than dying.

You’ll just keep going, won’t you, Karlach accused. Watching the stars. Warming your hands on the campfire. Dancing, eating, making fucking love all night - all of it, all of it!

Her fingers trembled as she turned the pegs to tighten the strings, and she had to force away the crushing sensation in her chest because this wasn’t about her and her feelings. It was about Karlach. Karlach who had watched as Astarion struck down Cazador, saw Shadowheart reclaim her family from Viconia DeVir, and witnessed Wyll defy Hell itself to rescue his father from the Iron Throne and Mizora both. They all confronted the ones who had controlled and abused them, and they had all emerged from the other side a little less broken, a little more whole, with their lives finally back in their own hands after so many years at their mercy.

And now Karlach had finally faced her monster and had come away with nothing.

She had every right to be furious. They’d taken her heart. Taken everything. And as far as she knew, no one had any idea on how to get even a shred of it back.

What am I supposed to do now?

Live.

If Dammon and the gnomes did their job, all she’d ever have to do was live. Then she could watch the stars, warm her hands on the fire, sing and dance and eat and make love all night - she could do it all. Whatever she wanted, wherever she wanted. Even if she’d never have her heart back, she would have everything else.

The thought was enough to finally give her fingers their steadiness back, and she drew her bow and played a few notes to test her tuning. One string was much too tight, so she loosened it a little, and then began to play in earnest.

It was a tune she only vaguely recalled from her childhood. From a play when her mother took her on a trip to Neverwinter. It had been a story about a hero on a journey to try and stave off a sudden and inevitable death caused by a curse placed on them by a sorcerer. Of course, the hero had succeeded in the end, but had learned that there was much value in living life to the fullest instead of chasing tomorrow’s glory.

What had struck her as odd even then was the lack of a battle between the hero and the villain. Not five minutes after the curse was placed on the hero, their saviour arrived and abruptly killed off the villain altogether.

It had seemed an odd choice at the time. Why not give the hero the chance to be victorious over the one who had doomed them in the first place? Especially when it remained unclear as to how they were going to save themselves. At least, her young mind had thought, if the hero goes down, they know they’re taking their enemy with them.

Well she understood now. There was no satisfaction in destroying someone when you were just as doomed as they were. And that moment of understanding would have been a very hard sell for a show that was meant to be for children.

But the tune of the closing number had lurched into her mind unbidden, so that was what she chose to play. It was simple and catchy, and that was all it needed to be. Anything to stave off the idea that something might still go wrong and bring their plan crashing down around them.

As she played, the others took advantage of the brief chance to rest. In the sudden rush to try and get all the pieces for the new engine, that fight seemed so far away now. Like it had been days ago rather than hours, though the fact that his hand was still whole and intact in her pack rather than wasting away into sludge said otherwise. 

Maybe once they’d dealt with this Murder Tribunal business, she’d let Karlach decide what to do with it and all of its gaudy jewellery. A final ‘fuck you’ to the bastard that had ruined her life.

Two hours were whiled away before Barcus emerged from the workshop, covered in soot and grease stains yet beaming broader than Nemeia had ever seen before.

“It’s perfect,” was all he said before beckoning them to come back inside.

They filed back into the workshop where Dammon and the gnomes were all admiring their hard work, and frankly, if Nemeia hadn’t known better, she might have thought that it was the real thing. 

It was a contraption unlike any she had ever seen. The infernal casing was opened up to show the inner mechanisms that had been crafted as close to the shape of a real heart as was physically possible, the chambers all contracting and relaxing in rhythm with one another as the mechanisms whirred and the pistons pumped.

Yet as strange as it was, it was beautiful in its own way. Even though it was just a prototype, and even though she was no artificer, she could see the sheer amount of love that had gone into its creation. The perfection in the curves, the polished shine of the steel and iron, even its presentation on the table showed just how proud they all were of their work. 

They had made this for Karlach. They did this to save her life. And they’d made it beautiful.

“We altered the design to make use of the existing framework that Karlach’s current engine uses,” Dammon explained. “If we ripped out everything that Zariel put in her, we’d have to rebuild her entire chest cavity, and that would leave her out of commission for months. So these-” He indicated to the pipes that tapered off and connected to nothing. “-will snap into place. It’ll be almost as fast as installing her upgrades, which puts much less stress on her body.”

“Dammon’s been vital to the process,” Barcus said brightly. “His understanding of infernal engineering allows us to account for everything this new engine will need to be capable of to cause as little disruption as possible.”

Dammon chuckled and shook his head. “You say that as if I didn’t nearly throw out all of your hard work for the sake of the infernal casing. If it weren’t for Thulla’s suggestion, it might have come to blows.”

“The heat build-up it could have caused was a very serious issue,” Zanner mused as he poured himself a cup of coffee - when was the last time he’d slept anyway?

“But it’s all been resolved now,” Barcus said reassuringly. “We need to run a couple of stress tests, but more for our own state of mind than anything.”

“Meaning you can go fetch the infernal iron,” Dammon added, “and Karlach. I’m sure she’ll want to see this for herself. Maybe make her own suggestions.” He added the last not with a cheeky grin and Nemeia giggled at the thought.

“I can imagine an engraving that says ‘Property of Karlach Cliffgate - fuck off Zariel’ would be her first thought.”

“If she doesn’t think to ask for that, I’ll definitely suggest it,” he laughed. “Go on now. We’ll get to work on the stress tests. Once we know for sure that it won’t burst into flames, and that Karlach is firmly on board, then we can get to work on putting the real thing together.”

[]

For all their talk of camping, the ‘camp’ that the party had set up in the city was actually just everyone cramming themselves into Nemeia and Kyreth’s family home and making do with the squeeze. But according to the message on the cabinet in the hallway, the others had all decided to clear out so that Karlach could have some space to herself.

It seemed that her dark mood had accompanied her home then.

While the others drifted off to tend to their own devices, Nemeia headed upstairs to her bedroom. Karlach was inside as predicted, sitting on the edge of the bed with a picture held gently by the tips of her fingers. 

It was a small charcoal portrait of Nemeia and Kyreth when they were both much younger. Nemeia had been maybe five or six when she saw the artist on the corner of the street, being paid to draw passers-by, and she’d begged her mother for one.

He’d been delighted by her enthusiasm, and it had remained on her bedside table ever since.

Nemeia knocked on the door softly before stepping inside, and Karlach looked up. 

“Hey soldier. You’re back.” She smiled though it didn’t quite meet her eyes, and she set the picture to one side.

“Still ‘soldier’ after all this time, huh?” Nemeia asked, only letting a small tease slip into her voice as she shut the door behind her. She noticed that Clive had moved from one end of the bed to the other but said nothing about it.

Karlach just shrugged. “Old habits. Did I miss anything while I was off having a sulk?”

“Oh if only you knew,” Nemeia laughed. “I did miss you though. It’s less fun without you around.”

“I missed you too,” Karlach sighed. She shook her head. “You know, I wouldn’t have bothered falling in love with you if I knew that saying goodbye was going to be so hard.”

Nemeia just smiled and moved to sit beside her.

“But what if you didn’t have to say goodbye? Not now, not tomorrow, not for a long, long time. What then?”

She sighed defeatedly.

“Don’t Nem. I’m trying to stay here, now, alive while I can. But it’s like my mind is being whittled down to the black hole that should’ve been our future.”

She ran a hand through her messy black and red mane, sparks flying off of her fingers as they brushed over the metal clasps in her braids. But Nemeia didn’t even flinch.

“But we have a future. A beautiful one,” she said firmly, unable to hold back her smile. “Maybe a short and violent one depending on how things go, but its there.”

And the smile caught Karlach’s eye. She frowned, her glowing amber eyes narrowing as if she was trying to figure out what the trick was.

“Alright… and why is that? Because if it turns out that you’re just that doppelganger freak Orin here to mess with me, I will literally split you in half with my axe,” she said sternly.

At that, Nemeia had to laugh and she shook her head.

“Karlach. You don’t have to die,” she said, unable to stop the smile spreading over her face at all. “After you left, one of the Gondians found us and said they’d found a way to help. Them, the Iron Hands, and even Dammon - they put their heads together and figured out a way.”

A beat passed as Karlach stared at her, utterly gobsmacked. Her eyes were wide and her jaw had gone slack. And then her engine threw off a telltale blue flare, like a heart skipping a beat. She was dumbstruck, unable to speak. Her mouth flapped a few times with effort, but no words came out. So Nemeia threaded her fingers through her’s and explained it all, from Lowa finding them at the bridge, to the prototype that Dammon and the others had built in just a few hours.

As she finished, there were tears pouring down Karlach’s face. Steam rolled off of the tracks, but the heat of her body couldn’t evaporate them fast enough as they raced down her cheeks and dripped onto their joined hands.

When she finally found her voice, she whispered, “...are you real? Or am I having a really cruel daydream right now?”

“I’m real, darling,” Nemeia pressed. “I’m real, it’s real, it’s happening. The only reason I didn’t come tell you straight away was because I had to be sure that it would work, or I’d never forgive myself for getting your hopes up just for them to get snatched away again. Not after what happened with Gortash.”

She disentangled one of her hands to cup Karlach’s face and thumbed away her tears.

“I know it’s not your real heart. If I could get that back and give it to you so that you’d never need another engine ever again, I would do it in a heartbeat. If I ever got a single Wish, it would be all I could ever wish for. But if I can’t do that, then the least I can do is make sure that you get to live on your terms. Not in Hell, but here, where you belong.”

At that, Karlach laughed wetly and shook her head.

“Are you actually sorry that you can’t just find my heart and put it back? Babe, it probably got eaten and shat out by imps years ago,” she said bluntly. “All I want is to live, and you and everyone else - you’re giving me that! Gods, I could kiss you, but if I do that now, I won’t be able to stop myself, and then what will Dammon and the others use to make my new engine? Besides, there’s gonna be so much time for kissing because… because I’m going to live…!”

And in a stark contrast to the utter despair and fury that had befallen her that afternoon, her face was now brimming with unbridled joy as she leapt to her feet and dragged Nemeia up with her.

“I’m going to live!” she shouted joyfully as she began to bounce and dance around the room. “I’m going to live, darling! We’ll get a house and a goat, and fuck it, you still want kids? I’m fucking down! Fuck yeah! We’ll get to travel! Oh man, we have to go to Athkatla, you missed out on so much when fuckface tried to possess you, and I can show you all the places we went, and hey, do you think Gale would let us stay at his place if we went to Waterdeep? I bet he’d let us stay, and he’d make us dinner and show us all the amazing stuff there is. I’ve always wanted to go to the Yawning Portal, and I’d love to get a proper cuddle with Tara too! And we can go on adventures with Wyll and kick some evil butt, I bet Minsc would love to come along for that! Ooh, and we can go on so many more dates!”

Laughter filled the room as they danced haphazardly together, the unbridled joy exploding out of them as Karlach’s eyes and chest glowed blue with excitement. The tears had all dried up. If there were more today, they would be tears of joy. But for now, there was only laughter and shouting and dancing.

And by the time they were done, Karlach was out of breath from shouting so much. Even as she giggled and spun around, clutching Nemeia to her chest, her voice was hoarse from use. But eventually she slowed down and pulled back, grinning from ear to ear.

“So, when do we get this new doo-hickey in my chest so we can put this Gortash bullshit behind us?”

“As soon as they’re done building it. Which they need infernal iron for.” Nemeia grinned. “So let’s grab what we have and head on down there, shall we?”

[]

As it turned out, the real engine was the ultimate test of patience for everyone involved. After Dammon performed a cursory check of Karlach’s engine, he determined that it would be a while longer before it gave out and recommended that the Gondians get some rest after their long ordeal under Gortash’s thumb - he and the Iron Hands would work together to get the parts and pieces made for assembly, and when everyone was rested and ready and at the peak of their ability, they’d bring it altogether to create the perfect engine for Karlach.

As it turned out, the best way to keep Karlach preoccupied until it was ready was to encourage her to write a list of all the things she would do once the Absolute was defeated.

To no one’s surprise, she wrote ‘Nem’ at the very top in bold letters.

“Do I need to cast Silence on your room tonight?” Gale jabbed when he glanced over at the list.

“Oh mate, every night,” Karlach laughed. “Probably wanna put one on them two as well while you’re at it.” She nodded in Kyreth and Halsin’s direction with a smirk. “I bet they’re just as bad.”

“Worse,” Kyreth said bluntly with a cat-like grin, and Nemeia pulled a face.

“Please do not make me confront the fact that those two have sex,” she groaned as she wrapped her arms around Karlach from behind. “Now what else do you want to do, besides me?”

Karlach tilted her head and made a pensive looking face as she tapped her pen against her chin. “Oi Shadowheart!”

The room burst into laughter as Nemeia slapped Karlach on the bicep playfully.

“Don’t even joke, you!” she said with a grin.

Shadowheart sprawled across her armchair with a dramatic sigh. “Ah, and to think I was this close to finally getting a piece of that big, beefy tiefling.”

“Dream on Princess, I was here first,” Nemeia laughed. “Now come on, seriously. You mentioned Athkatla yesterday. What do you want to do when we go there?”

“Whatever you do, don’t bring Lae’zel. She’ll murder your child before your very eyes,” Shadowheart interjected, earning an angry ‘chk’ from Lae’zel as she dragged a whetstone down her blade.

“The imp was returned to the Hells, not murdered,” she hissed derisively. “If you truly want it back so badly then by all means, delve into Avernus to rescue Bing Bong.”

“You set him on fire and splatted him on cobblestones.”

“He should have tried harder not to hit the cobblestones.”

“You threw him-!”

“Girls.” 

Both of their mouths snapped shut as Kyreth eyed them with the imperious gaze of a mother and the argument came to an abrupt end. And just in time too, as there was a sudden rapping on the door. Kyreth stepped out into the hall to answer it.

“Ah, Lowa. This is about the engine?”

“Yes! Dammon’s doing some last stress tests, but its ready to go otherwise. We can do installation whenever Karlach’s ready-”

She barely finished the sentence before Karlach had leapt out of her chair and barged out to the front door with all the energy of an overexcited puppy.

“I’m ready now, let’s go, go, go!”

Everyone was up and moving without any instruction, doing their best to keep Karlach from immediately taking off without them while they locked up the house and shouldered their weapons. It was easier said than done because she just couldn’t seem to stop herself to the point that she started jogging in circles on the spot.

“Come on already, I’ll start carrying you all if it gets us there faster,” she groaned.

“It pays to be cautious when Shapechangers are on the loose, darling,” Astarion sighed. “Don’t want them rooting through our things while we’re gone. Imagine if they took Clive hostage next.”

“He’d fight them off, easy,” Karlach snorted, holding up her fists as if to demonstrate. “Now hurry up, let’s go!”

And they were off, heading down to the Gondian-Iron Hand workshop at the harbour. Karlach kept running ahead and having to wait for the rest to catch up, resulting in her bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently. At least the passers-by seemed to find it amusing enough, judging from the bemused grins and giggles that followed them as they went.

When they reached the workshop, every last person who had pitched in on the engine was gathered in the main room with the fruit of their labour displayed on the table before them.

If Nemeia had thought the prototype was beautiful, then it was nothing compared to the real thing. It was sleek and compact, with the glowing infernal iron moulded into perfect shape for the casing. Everything was sleek and polished, and practically glowed in the lamp light, and everyone from engineer to alchemist to coffee-runner was beaming with pride as the party filed in.

Karlach was gobsmacked. With a quick glance for permission at Dammon - who nodded in assent - she stepped forwards to pick the engine up and examine it. It glittered from every angle. Everything fit together in a beautiful harmony, with so much love and care that nothing could be a more fitting tribute to its new owner. Then Dammon caught her attention and silently mimed opening it up with his hands. So she did so with an almost uncharacteristic care and gentleness, as if she was terrified to break it.

And there, on the heart inside, was an engraving that read:

Property of Karlach Cliffgate - fuck off Zariel.

“Well… fuck me,” she sniffed as tears welled up in her amber eyes.

“Do you like it?” Barcus asked tentatively, his mouth pressed into a thin line with nervousness.

“Like it? I love it,” she sobbed. 

She set it back down tenderly, then strode around the table and scooped him up into her arms in a fierce hug. For a moment he was caught off-guard, but returned the hug with a brisk firmness and a wobbly smile on his face. Then once she released him, she turned to Dammon and pulled him into a hug next.

“Thank you,” she sobbed. “For everything.”

He grinned as he wrapped his arms around her back and squeezed hard.

“Don’t thank me. It was Zanner’s idea in the first place.” He pulled back. “I just chipped in.”

But Karlach just shook her head. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have lived long enough to meet Zanner. Hell, I wouldn’t be able to touch anyone. You gave me so much already, and now you’re giving me the rest.” Her lip wobbled and her voice grew thick as she continued, “you’re giving me my whole life back.”

He squeezed her again and patted her shoulder before pulling away to give her the chance to rub the tears from her eyes. And when that was done, she continued with her hug train, giving a hug to every last person who had worked on her engine. The gnomes all looked a bit flustered at first, but otherwise were glowing with pride as the tiefling thanked each and every one of them.

When she was done, Dammon clapped her on the shoulder.

“Ready to get to work?”

She beamed brighter than the sun.

“So fucking ready, mate.”

[]

The house was packed to bursting that night, and the drinks were flowing. Wyll and Halsin had returned from a trip to the tavern, having procured three whole barrels of ale, and no one wasted any time in cracking them open and pouring out the drinks.

Karlach was the centre of attention with her new engine, despite Dammon’s repeated pleas for her to take it easy for a few hours at least. While no longer aflame with a hot orange flame glowing in her chest, her spirit was by no means reduced. If anything, she was more boisterous than ever. She bounded from room to room, hugging everyone she saw and dragging people out for dances more than once, and it didn’t seem like she was going to be slowing down any time soon.

Right now, Wyll was on the floor with her, both of them smiling and laughing and having the time of their lives as the alcohol flowed. Some of the Iron Hands had broken out into drunken singing, and the Gondians were taking the chance to just relax and enjoy themselves. Meanwhile Gale was in the kitchen, trying to figure out how much food he’d need to make to accommodate for everyone, and it seemed that Astarion had decided to ‘help’ - meaning he was hanging around and drinking wine while offering commentary. Shadowheart was once again in her armchair by the window, though this time with her own glass of wine, and she seemed more content with observing the festivities over joining in. The same could be said for Lae’zel who had slunk off upstairs to engage with martial exercises over chatter, though she appeared soon enough when Gale finally called for dinner to be served.

Halsin and Kyreth busied themselves in helping Gale with serving, doing their best to make sure that everyone got a portion, and soon enough, the noise died down to a general chatter as everyone settled in to eat.

By the time Dammon and the gnomes all departed, it was past midnight and it didn’t take long for everyone to decide that they were ready to retire for the night. There was a queue for the bathroom as usual, and nightly routines were carried out in short order before everyone shuffled off to their bunks for the night. But as Nemeia passed Gale as he stepped out of the bathroom, he winked at her discreetly before disappearing downstairs.

For a moment she was baffled, but upon opening and closing her bedroom door, she suddenly understood. The house outside of the room had suddenly fallen silent. No shuffling footsteps from downstairs or loud coughs from the other rooms. Just Nemeia and Karlach, who was sat on the bed humming to herself. 

Clive was perched on a chair in the corner with his back to the bed.

“Thinking of your boy as always,” Nemeia joked as she approached.

“Of course,” Karlach chuckled. “I would never forgive myself if he got scarred for life.”

She sat expectantly on the edge of the bed. Her whole face glowed with boundless delight as her lover cupped her face and tilted it back. Nemeia ran her thumbs along her jaw, taking in the beautiful sight of her love filled with joy and hope, with her whole life ahead of her.

Then, without warning, Karlach wrapped her arms around Nemeia’s waist, tipped back on the bed and pulled her down with her, cackling with glee as her lover squealed in surprise. She pressed her lips to the delicate pink neck, then to her jaw, up her cheek, over her nose, down the other side and finally reached her mouth.

They melted into each other, hands finding purchase on shoulders or in hair, tugging their bodies together into a tangled mess. They rolled over, with Karlach taking her usual place on top of Nemeia where they paused briefly to gaze at one another.

A beat passed before Nemeia broke the silence.

“I love you so much,” she said softly.

“Well that’s good,” Karlach replied cheekily before she leaned in, her lips just barely grazing over Nemeia’s as she added, “because I plan on loving you for the rest of my life.”

The rest of her life… that sounded beautiful indeed.

[sunflowergem]

9 (Could you be roommates with this character?) for all the BG3 companions >:3c

So my first thought was a giant house with everybody in it which would be just absolute chaos. But obviously it's more meant to be one-on-one so let's go through them.

Astarion: Hmmmmm, I think I would be able to live with him but it wouldn't be ideal. He would probably be a little too mean too often, not even like a truly mean way. But like you know, he's a sassy guy and I am unfortunately rather sensitive. With a good amount of communication, I feel like we could become friends perhaps, but there's definitely going to be some rough patches in the first like year or so. Although we could get along pretty well as far as fashion and sewing goes, which would be fun. I make clothes and he embroiders them, sounds like a delightful hobby to have a bond over.

Gale: Solid roommate material for sure! Comes with furry friend, cooking skills, and a library, hell yeah! Also info dumping is my love language, biggest risk here is that I'd probably end up with a crush or eventually dating him. I'd treat him better than his ex for sure.

Halsin: Would we get along? Yes! Would there be a constant battle within my mind of him reminding me a little too much of my father but also being ridiculously attractive and that leading me to confront some deep-seated issues that I need to address someday with a professional? Also, yes! And I'm not sure if I'm ready to confront that part of myself. We probably have some kick-ass house plants though and I bet he makes the best cup of tea.

Jaheira: I feel like she wouldn't be home often and like would be kind of keeping to herself when she is. So I'd say yeah I could easily be her roommate. We both stay in our own lanes but were responsible. Probably be very healthy situation.

Karlach: Ignoring the fire hazard, I think she'd make a solid roommate. I feel like we'd have chore chart kind of synergy going on. Also opportunities to cuddle (I feel like there is possibility of that leading to some feelings as well, but that would not being negative) and like late night baking sessions randomly I could see popping up real easy. Kind of reminds me when I lived with my bestie for a while. In that context, it was only one room and we shared it which was a little tricky, but I have a lot of fond memories from those times<3

Lae'zel: Mmmmaybe? This is probably going to go one of three ways. One she ignores me and we just kind of cohabitate. Two she takes an interest in me and starts training me as a way to bond. I do like swords and would love to learn how to use one so this is not the worst but she would definitely be a harsh trainer. Or three she straight up kills me at some point. I don't know if I'd be able to sleep well for a while living under the same roof TBH

Minsc: This is actually the last one I wrote. Despite where it is in the list, I put them in alphabetical order because I couldn't decide how to order them. It is really hard to decide whether or not he would be a compatible roommate. Like I want to say yes cuz I like the guy. Plus he comes with a friendly hamster! But he is also kind of a wild guy I think. And I'm not sure what would be like cleanliness levels with him, which is a little bit of a thing with me. We're going to give this one a solid maybe.

Minthara: No. I would die. Even if she gets attached she's going to try toughen me up and I would die.

Shadowheart: Yeah I think we could chill as roommates. She doesn't try and push religion down anyone's throat and in the beginning for sure keeps to herself. As she becomes more friendly with you. She becomes a really chill lady overall. We'd probably be able to have some interesting deep philosophical conversations after she resolves some personal issues. This one would also probably evolve into either dating or everyone thinks we're dating, once again, very similar to my real life bestie.

Wyll: He would probably be a fantastic roommate, too bad about his overbearing boss who constantly comes over unannounced. But seriously, he's kind. He's respectful. He's thoughtful. This one very much probably evolve into some form of romance as well because I'm a bit of a flirt when I become comfortable with people and honestly kind of he gives that same vibe. This would definitely not be a negative cuz he is definitely husband material. Still got to find him a better job though and possibly resolve a few issues with his dad. But hey, we can bond over father trauma!

I don't know if it's just personal bias or if this would actually be some chemistry, but so many of these I think would turn into rom-com situations. It also could just be the source material being unrelentlessly horny. Which considering I'm asexual will be very funny. Not impossible cuz demisexual but definitely would be a slow burn kind of situation.

[a-drama-addict]

Your Dari post got me curious: if you put your DA kiddos in BG3 (or the other way round!) what would their impression of the companions be? Who would they get on with?

HMMMM i'm just gonna pick da'revas for this because oHOHOHOOOOO i have thoughts about this. (the others will get this too but LATER so i can compile all thoughts) (under the cut bc this will be loooong rambling probably.)

Da'Revas

Wyll: I feel like he'd get on super well with Wyll, (local goodest boys meeting.) I feel like he'd want to choke Mizora the moment she shows up lol I feel like he'd definitely enjoy the whole hero persona of the sword coast thing, then when he finds out that Wyll got cast out by his father from Baldurs Gate he'd also want to fistfight Ulder lol

Astarion: Dari would not enjoy the vampire man. At first anyhow, though it's not the first time he made friends with someone who tried to murder him at their first meeting (looking at you ZEV).. but they wouldn't become incredibly close either, more just casual friends that check on each other once a year

Karlach: HIMBO BUDDIES. karlach's a himbo to me, da'revas is a certified himbo. NEED i go on. they'd be besties, he'd kill anyone who look at Karlach wrong

Shadowheart: Well. he has a thing for goths. No but they would get along, he is used to the secretive or more held back nature, he definitely enjoys having her around. Not too fond of the whole shar dogma she spews in the beginning but the second she opens up he goes full protective mode (“I will NEVER let ANYONE hurt you EVER AGAIN. I’ll kill all wolves personally” “Sweet of you but your hug is choking me, Da’revas-“)

Lae'zel: he also has a thing for women who are mean to him. He'd be interested in her culture definitely, and I just know he would love the way she speaks. definitely would be friends with her

Gale: Eh. Probably neutral on him, no strong opinions one way or the other, he'd definitely be more sympathetic towards him near the end and will have a third goddess to fistfight

Halsin: unironically would probably have the biggest crush on the man. Da'revas sees a tall strong elf with a fondness for nature and whittling? floored. goes “hey breastie- i mean bestie. hows your gay going— DAY going. haha”

Jaheira: That would actually be his mom

Minthara: Hmm. I think he wouldn't get along with her, mostly because of her evil alignment, and would kill her in the goblin camp act 1 so no REAL relationship on that front

[blackjackkent]

Apparently everyone's been crushing on Hector and he had no idea.

He finds Wyll in camp late one night, presumably off rather in a corner away from the others...dancing.

Lithe movements - the first real sign Hector has scene of the nobleman's son he was before he became the Blade of Frontiers. There is some melody playing in his head that Hector cannot hear, because his movements are swift, rhythmic, eminently steady.

Then he spots Hector watching him, and the movements stutter to an abrupt halt.

"Oh! Sorry. I didn't see you standing there." He smiles sheepishly. "Lost in the steps, truth be told." A slight pause, and then he squares his shoulders as if coming to some internal decision. "I need them to be just right. I wouldn't want to fail my new partner."

Hector blinks. "A new partner?" he asks. "And who might that be?"

Wyll's smile deepens. "As luck would have it...he just arrived." He takes a step forward and extends a hand in Hector's direction. "May I have this dance?"

Oh boy. :P

Hector, as we've established, is bad at conversational navigation, and this feels like another scenario (like Gale offering to show him magic) where the implication goes over his head a little bit. His friend wants to dance, and that's fine. Gods know they could use anything that brings them a bit of happiness out here.

So he just looks sort of bemused. "Dance?" he says. "But there's no music."

Wyll gives him a steady, surprisingly intense look. "Our hearts can keep time."

The penny drops. Hector blinks. Oh. I see.

Wyll's timing here really could not be any worse, given that Hector has only just acknowledged to himself that he has feelings for Karlach. Poor guy. Hector would have danced with him (despite his own complete lack of skill in the area) if it were about just relaxing, brightening this dark mess of a situation...but even he can't quite miss the subtext at this point.

He likes Wyll and doesn't want to hurt him, but he can barely navigate his own feelings right now, out here in the real world, let alone other people's.

"I...think we should just call it a day," he says unsteadily.

Wyll's face falls sharply, and he lets go of Hector's hand and draws back a step. "Oh," he says, and Hector is surprised to see the depth of disappointment in his eyes. How long has Wyll been feeling this way?

He opens his mouth to speak, to...apologize, to try and understand what is going on in his friend's mind, but Wyll shakes his head hastily and backs away. "I mean - yes, of course. The sun only rests for so long."

He hesitates, tips his head forward slightly towards Hector's, then draws back again sharply and steps away towards his bedroll.

Hector watches him go and then runs a hand down his face wearily. Damn, he thinks.

He has very little experience with love. Beyond a few schoolboy crushes in his teenage years at the monastery, he has occupied himself with more cerebral things. So far his primary knowledge of the emotion lies in the bewildering swirl of feelings that is conjured up when he thinks of Karlach, the unending heat preventing him from touching her, the unspoken longing. And of course, Lae'zel's strange, violent expressions of desire that bewilder him more than they inspire him. And now that kicked-dog look of exhausted regret in Wyll's eyes as he backs away.

If this is what love is, he thinks sadly, it carries a sharp blade.

[thornfield13713]

How do all your Tavs/Durges respond to the drow twins?

Nobody's taken them up on it yet. Though I have hopes for my next protagonist.

Excellence was interested in a vague, 'sure, yeah, sounds like it might be a fun afternoon' way - she's demisexual, sure, in that she doesn't feel attraction unless she's very into someone, but if Gale was up for it, she wouldn't mind a chance to have sex with him while also enjoying the possibilities of a few more bodies in the mix. Gale was not up for it, and that was fine, they didn't go for it, and had a conversation later about what Excellence's attitude towards the whole thing actually was and whether she'd one day want something Gale couldn't offer. (And another conversation later about the use of magical doppelgangers in order to have an orgy of just her and Gale).

Rosie was...Rosie has issues around love, sex and self-control, and- it's not a coincidence that she falls for Karlach, the physically biggest, strongest and toughest member of the party. Not that she's opposed to a bit of debauchery, but...well, it's not that long ago Bhaal nearly made her kill Karlach, and she thought Alfira was cute before that happened, so she's not altogether sure that Bhaal's influence over her doesn't get worse when she's romantically or sexually interested in a person. Best not to risk it.

Thoradin is a soppy romantic, and while if he were alone he might be interested in a handsome drow (possibly ending up as one of the hundreds upon thousands of customers who ask the male drow - I can't find what their names are - for his Drizzt Do'Urden impression, given his massive fanboy crush)...he's with Wyll. So, no dice there either, though there was a certain amount of attraction there.

And Ned is an awkward bean who is also just...pretty screwed-up about sex. Their first and most significant sexual experiences were all somewhat...well, the first was the traditional Arach-Tinilith graduation orgy with the demon, and Ned happened to be top of their class, so guess who got the 'honour' of obligatory sex with a (not especially humanoid) demon! After that- their experiences haven't been...things haven't been great. And then there was Astarion, and Ned is just as much blindly fumbling about trying to figure out how to have a healthy relationship with no real model for it as he is. His allusions to having had a lot of lovers before all the details came out meant that they started by just letting Astarion lead the way, and they've sort of stuck with that, but they don't really trust anyone else enough to be willing to let them lead the same way.

[maris-eternal]

so, i have an intended romance list for future BG3 playthroughs, depending on MC :

Maris (current Tav) - During the adventure, everyone that will make a pass at him (I love you you beautiful poly mod). Post finale, Astarion (a boy has to choose ultimately and, no matter all the wild experimentations during their adventure, M is still a young noble from an exclusively elven community with a penchant for naughtiness. I am thinking that if Astarion chose to ascend he would gladly be his bitch for life but would not want to become a vampire, not even a full-fledged one. If A remained a spawn he would still choose him over everyone else, because I think over everyone else A is the one most needing of love and companionship)

Origin Astarion - Gale (the latter being sufficiently power-hungry and flexible when it comes to using power, though i wonder, would that affair work if you massacred the druid grove to get better access to the absolute cult? bc no matter what, Gale does not like cruelty or hurting innocents. As regards secondary lovers like Halsin or Minthara, I'd think A would have to have overcome a lot of his personal issues to be confident in such a choice. Or to not have overcome any of them and be convinced that his only worth to others is through sex)

Origin Karlach - Astarion (she seems to like bad boys even when she knows she can't trust them and she says herself she would totally bang him to the feywild and back; besides I want to see the stuff I read about this particular romance, the implications of not being able to use sex as manipulation tool on A's behalf are fascinating)

Origin Shadowheart - Karlach (they flirt with each other all the time and SH's VA is adamant that SH has a major crush on K)

Origin Lae'zel - nobody or Karlach (I can well see her staying single, but if she were to be attracted to one of them I think it would be K - she admires K's prowess in battle, as well as her live in the moment attitude due to the infernal engine time bomb)

Origin Wyll - Lae'zel (he tries to flirt with her almost from the start; the boy is prone to getting himself involved with dangerous, strong females and I think he is fascinated by how different and self-contained L appears to be; i can well see him submitting to L's passion and at the same time wishing to be her fairytale prince)

Origin Gale - I honestly can't decide, though I think the boy who summoned a tressim because his parents wouldn't get him a cat would instantly be drawn to the actual cat in the group and we all know by now who that is

Dark Urge - I'd hands down choose A because admittedly the dynamic between them from everything I've seen is incredible. My Durge would be a Dandelion type bard with little to no combat ability who would be torn against fighting the darkness inside and giving in to it for the shere exhilaration of the slaughter and sense of freedom it would offer (nvm that it would be the most constraining thing to accept (this one might also go both ways with A's choices: on the one hand durge might support or even push A towards ascendance for fear of themselves and a need to be controlled and used for better or for worse, or the two might literally strive towards redemption - and real freedom - together)

[margridarnauds]

(1) There's no way you can convince me it should have been 21 GBs -- The game itself is massive enough as it is, and even though it's being touted as a ~huge~ update...perhaps my standards are just too high, but it doesn't strike me as being as massive as advertised.

(2) I like Malla/Minthara and Ana/Wyll, I'm excited to see what they get on that score, but I'm not OVERLY invested in any of the canon romance options. I started off playing the game romancing a NPC, that's my main focus. If romance was removed from the game entirely, I wouldn't be crushed. So I am very aware that I'm not the right audience for it.

(3) Yay for bug fixes!

(4) I'm happy for people who ship the Murder Necrophiliac with the Eyeshadow Tyrant Guy, but it honestly struck me as slightly unfair there isn't matching dialogue for a Tav. It strikes me as being one more piece of fanservice to a very vocal group of fans that is going to cause needless discourse. Like, again, I don't DISLIKE, but I do dislike Larian's approach.

(5) I'm still going to be Ring of Metamorphing my way around the new kisses, though. It's free real estate.

(6) I hate the new AA kiss almost as much as I hated White Haired Vampire Boy's kiss with Origin Flame Lady.

Many, many mixed thoughts about the new update