#white rim road
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thomaswaynewolf · 2 months ago
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rabbitcruiser · 2 years ago
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Into the Deep
What do you think about my pic?
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kodachrome-net · 5 months ago
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At the Canyon's Edge, June 2, 2024
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lillcarrionbird · 1 year ago
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Ok, I don't know what "discourse" the teens are having about this topic cuz I rarely engage with fandom, so I'm basing this rant entirely and exclusively on my personal experience as an ace woman.
FUCK (canon) romance subplots, and fuck Lon Harris. He sounds just like the dudes who cry and bitch because ONE out of the last 16 Star Wars movies did not have a man as the main character. People are telling him legitimate reasons why they're sick of seeing the way romantic relationships are portrayed by western media and he brushes it off as an "excuse".
Are romance and relationships a normal and common occurrence? Absolutely. But you know what else is equally normal and common? Not fucking your sexy coworker. Plenty of women, in fact the majority of them, do not fuck their sexy coworkers. But heaven forbid we ever see that shown on TV.
I've never watched the bear but let me guess, the romance option for the main male character is the only hot, available woman his age in the main cast 🙄 so original. Can't imagine why people would be sick of seeing that for the 500 millionth time.
After spending the last 30+ years being bombarded with straight ppl and their mandatory, forced romance between the token woman and whatever white guy they have as their main character, I'm happy to hear about this backlash.
The way most shows write romance is boring as shit. The majority of the time there is legitimately no reason for them to hook up other than the fact that one of them is a man and the other one is a woman.
Is this all a result of purity culture? I have no idea. This is the first time I'm hearing about this trend. But I can honestly say that I would rather watch another season of Robyn and Steve being friends then have the writers throw their relationship out the window the second one of them gets a girlfriend.
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like…….doesn’t anyone ever think about what it would be like if certain (fake) people fucked anymore??? like……..what are you afraid of???????
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angelic--kitty · 2 months ago
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𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖚𝖗𝖗𝖋𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖔𝖓
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𝖋𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖐𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖒𝖎 𝖉𝖊𝖍𝖞𝖆
warnings: smut (mdni), wlw content, kemonomimi!dehya (kitty features), transfem!dehya x sub!fem reader, breeding, reader dressed up as a kitty for halloween, biting, claws, size kink, oral (both receiving), penetration, car sex
special mention to @edgeray as this doubles as part of their collaborative halloween event ♡
𝖕𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗
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those damn, fluffy white ears that matched the fluffy white tail attached to your bodysuit. the bodysuit designed to look like a playboy bunny.
"i'll be your playboy kitty," you had told her with such a wicked little grin on your face. like you knew you would be tormenting her for the duration of the party.
now she stood in her stuffy suit, an arm around your waist, her large, calloused hand splayed over your hip. you could feel her rough thumb brushing against your thigh through the holes in your fishnets.
archons, you were torturing her. purposefully chatting up everyone you knew at the party, delighting in making her wait her fucking turn to get you alone.
she opened the top few buttons of her collared shirt, tugging at her tie in a way she knew would entice you. she saw the way your greedy little gaze flitted over to her, watching eagerly over the rim of your cheap plastic cup.
her ears twitched from the thumping bass that reverbated throughout the house, her claws digging into your skin, not caring if she tore your tights.
this whole outfit would be getting practically ripped off you sooner or later anyway.
yet, even when you try to be bratty, you are ever the angel. your hand grazes up to her cheek, urging her to place her attention onto you solely. you lean in, lips brushing against her cheek as you kneel up to reach her twitchy ear. "are you okay? is the music too loud?" you ask.
she pulls you closer, shaking her head. "i'm fine. are you having fun?" it's a biting question. you know that. you know if she had it her way, she'd be dragging you back home right now and fucking you into your shared mattress.
alas, despite quite literally being a predatory animal, she bowed to your whims. damn you and the way you kept her wrapped around your finger.
she was a far cry from when you first started dating. as if you had domesticated her. it was almost laughable, really.
if not for the fact that she was in awe of how you alone managed that.
"i'm starting to get a little... exhausted." you mumbled, your lips touching her ear as it flicks against your cheek.
"oh, are you now?" she grunts, enjoying the gasp that leaves your lips when her claws poke into your thigh. "want me to escort you out, sweetheart?"
"let me go say bye to a few people first, okay?" you smile, kissing her cheek, leaving a print of your lipstick that she didn't bother to wipe away. she let you slide off her lap, her thighs staying spread as she waited for you impatiently.
you returned shortly after, feeling her tug you away, keeping a firm grip on your hand. "someone's eager-" you snort, watching her scoff.
"you've purposefully been torturing me, so excuse me, princess." dehya's voice is clipped yet sultry as she gazes down at you. "you didn't tell me it came with a collar." she flicks the bell.
it was soft, thankfully not obnoxiously loud when you had bought it online. the collar itself was a pretty pink color. one she adored on you.
"i thought it'd be a nice surprise." with every step, the bell softly rings, announcing your presence like you really were a housecat. "do you like it?" you give her a cheeky smirk, looking up at her for her approval.
she notices you shivering, and she takes her suit jacket off, draping it across your shoulders. you lean against her appreciatively. she stays relatively quiet, focused on getting you back to the car.
she can feel her own hormones getting to her, making it damn near impossible to concentrate on the road. the heater only made it more unbearable, and her left hand leaves the window to rake through her hair, pushing it back from her forehead.
you seem to notice her distress, pulling your hands away from the warm vents. "you okay?" you ask, a hand pressing to her thigh.
and that's when she decides she just can't take it anymore.
she pulls off to the side of the road, startling you until you realize what's going on.
your eyes immediately slide down to her bulge, begging to be freed from its confinement and you giggle, reaching for her only for her to grab your wrist.
"dehya-"
her eyes are hooded, looking at you less like a girlfriend and more like you're dinner. "backseat. now."
you jump to it, so eager to please her, archons, it drives her mad.
you climb back, kneeling for her as she turns the car off, bathing you both in darkness except for the dim streetlights around you.
your breathing is heavy, excited as she crawls over you. she's big. sometimes you forget just how big until she's looming over you. she grabs your jaw, pulling you in for a searing kiss.
it's messy, filthy, her rough tongue sliding over yours as you moan into her mouth, letting her drink your noises straight from the source.
she settles you into her lap, grinding you against her cock as she grunts, enjoying your soft little whimpers and whines. she drags your body like you're little more than a toy for her, hips jumping up to tease you through that damn bodysuit of yours.
your lips disconnect, a string of saliva connecting you still before it snaps, your head leaning into the crook of her next. "please...please-" you beg, your hips messily grinding against her lap.
"use your words." her hand slides up, rubbing your back almost tenderly for how worked up she is. "go on."
"please...i- i need...i want-" your head already feels fuzzy, the soft ringing of the bell on your collar making your mind go blank as you mindlessly chase pleasure. "dehya!"
you sound so desperate, much like a sweet little kitty in heat. you whine and mewl for her, your back arched. she's almost starting to believe that costume is just part of you.
she tugs the top down, baring your breasts as her hands slide up, cupping your chest. you arch up, shoving them towards her as you grind your cunt against her bulge.
she swipes her thumbs over your nipples, eyeing the way they perk up, her rough tongue teasing them both before she rips the bodysuit right off, tossing you onto the seat beside her.
despite her size, she manages to slink down to the floor, kneeling, forcing your thighs open to accommodate her. she runs her clawed fingers up your thighs, feeling them catch on your fishnets before she merely rips a hole over your panties.
you gasp, sitting upright before she simply splays a hand over your abdomen, pushing you back down. "sit still." she growls, hooking her fingers in your panties, ripping them next.
she's hit with the scent of your cunt, the slick aroma permeating her air, her nostrils flaring. "fuck... princess..." she leans in, her breath ghosting over your flesh, looking up at you expectantly.
your hand shakily takes purchase on her head, nodding desperately. "please, please, please-"
she dives in, careful with her pointed canines as she kisses your clit, teasing you with the softened tip of her tongue, switching to dragging the rough side against you to get you to scream for her.
"oh-!" you squeal, thighs straining under her iron grip as she eats you out like a woman starved.
your back arches up, hands grabbing her hair, slightly too close to her ears as she grunts lowly, snaking her tongue inside of you.
she drags you over the edge, leaving you a panting, shaky mess on her carseat, cleaning you up dutifully. you can see she's lost in her own haze of rut, only thinking of pleasing you; her pretty mate.
her brain has convinced her you really are a kitty... just begging for her to fill you up, to breed you. she can see it now, how perfect you'd look raising her kits together. and from the way you arch up into her mouth, all desperate and whiny, any other thoughts are tossed out the window.
she sits up next to you, palming her cock as you crawl over to her lap. "wanna suck me off, huh, pretty girl?" she grins, teeth glinting in the light as she tugs her suit-slacks down, the hardness bobbing up against her shirt.
she drags her hand right down the fabric, the buttons flying off as her toned abdomen was exposed. her cock leaned towards her skin, causing her to hiss as pre-cum dripped down her abs. she wrapped a firm hand around her base as you eagerly leaned in.
you pressed sweet little kisses to her tip, letting her see the pre-cum sticking to your lips like gloss. you slide your lips and tongue down the prominent vein in her cock, the slick coating your cheeks.
such a messy little thing...
your lips slowly slide down onto her, struggling to take the thickness down your throat as you look up with wide eyes. "you can take it." she assures you, a heavy hand on your head pushing you down until your nose touches her pelvis and the patch of hair there.
tears fill your eyes as you try to breathe through your nose, desperate to please her like the good mate you are.
her hips fuck your throat shallowly, using you like the toy you are. she's filthy with her words, holding your head steady as she praises and degrades you repeatedly, your head spinning.
she pulls out before she can cum, much to your surprise and confusion. "i need to fuck you." she asserts, lifting you up and onto her lap, facing her with your cute expression.
"dehya-" you whimper, still sensitive from your earlier orgasm. she merely shushes you, nipping your neck.
she slides you down onto her, the both of you moaning from the feeling. it was filthy, noisy, and absolutely perfect. she can feel you dripping onto her lap as she picks you up and drops you right back down.
she can see a creamy ring forming around her base and she groans, hips slamming up into yours, drawing out sweet cries and mewls of her name. "dehya- dehya!" you claw at her shoulders, desperately grinding down on her lap.
"you're mine. my mate. mine." she mumbles to herself, delighting in how you rush to confirm it for her, even in your brainless state.
"yours! yours!" you wail for her, squeezing around her as her hips stutter.
"fuck, i have to- need to breed you- mate..." she latches onto your shoulder, biting down when you cum around her, shoving her hips up into yours as she fills you up.
your own body twitches, cunt convulsing around her cock as she laps up the blood she's drawn. "good... so good for me... good girl." she purrs, keeping you plugged up on her lap, licking at your skin to soothe you from your overwhelmed noises.
she pets you like a little cat, keeping you close to her. yet, unlike usual, she's still hard inside of you. she sees your head lift up, giving her a curious look as she laughs. "you didn't think we were done, did you?" she wraps a hand around your throat. "you'll have the time it takes us to get home to recover. i need more room to fuck you properly."
she laughs, wrapping her discarded jacket back around you, buttoning it up. "a damn shame you planned your little rouse during my rut, yeah?" she watches you look up with a fucked out expression already, clearly not having expected this. "well... a shame for you, huh?"
it seemed that such a silly little idea really could transpire into your cunt being sore for days... and the potential for kits on the way.
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pedrospatch · 1 year ago
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fall into temptation | one
Jackson! Joel Miller x Preacher’s Daughter Reader
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series masterlist
summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Miller’s attention—it just had to be one of the goddamned preacher’s daughters.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 56, i know, i know but this is self indulgent because my birthday is next month idk just let me have this one) canon language, canon violence, several mentions of religion, terms pastor and preacher are used interchangeably here and there, mentions of the bible and religious symbols (cross), innocent/virgin reader, very brief scene of attempted sexual assault, no explicit smut (yet). asshole Joel, protective Joel, hints of softish dom Joel (if you squint). reader has two sisters, the only physical description for them is their hair, which they can also braid as well as their style of clothing.
MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.
word count: 8.4k
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Jackson, Wyoming
Fall 2024
Joel had seen him around the community before. 
He’s an older man in his late sixties or possibly his early seventies with thinning, snow white hair and silver, wire rimmed glasses that always seemed to be perched on the tip of his pointed nose. He was a good, kind man from what Joel could gather—offering up warm smiles and friendly waves to anyone who happened to cross his path, stopping to greet and say hello to familiar faces. The hem of his starched white shirt is tucked into pressed black slacks and even from where he stood across the road near the horse stables, Joel noticed the book clutched in his right hand, old and bound in supple, worn black leather with the words Holy Bible etched into the cover in flaked gold lettering.
Jacob, he thinks his name is. Or was it Josiah?
Something biblical—a name fit for a man who was so fucking clearly devoted to the big man upstairs.
Joel knew his own name was a biblical one, but he was the furthest thing from a man of God. After all that he’d done in the past twenty years, there was only one place he was going and that place wasn’t exactly known for its pearly gates or sweet cherub angels playing harps.
Joseph? Was that it? 
He couldn’t be certain.
Not that Joel really even cared to know his name. 
It’d been a couple months since Joel arrived back in Jackson with Ellie after Salt Lake City and the truth of the matter was that he preferred to keep to himself whenever it was possible. Joel had zero interest in getting to know the people of this settlement, not unless he had to for the sake of patrol duties—and that’s only if he hadn’t been able to weasel his way out of getting assigned with a partner who wasn’t Tommy or Maria, the only two people in the whole fucking community Joel could stand being around. Minus his kid of course, but even he and Ellie could really only take each other in small doses lately. Perhaps it was their tense, strained relationship that was to blame for the fact that Joel Miller walked around this place with a standoffish attitude and a permanent scowl plastered on his face. 
Most people were smart enough to scamper off in the opposite direction when they saw him coming. He was never offended by it. It’s what he wanted. He wasn’t here to make friends.
In fact, the closest thing he had come to a friend outside of his brother’s wife was Esther, the woman Maria and Tommy had tried setting him up with when he first got back to Jackson. He wouldn’t go as far as calling her a friend, either. That’s a little too generous. Friend? No, more like a good fuck when he couldn’t drown his bitterness with Seth’s barrel aged bourbon and he was in need of a different kind of distraction.
But there was a reason this particular man piqued his curiosity. Actually, there were three reasons he managed to garner Joel’s attention and all three of those reasons were trailing behind him in an orderly, single file line, each one more fucking gorgeous than the last. He was positive he’d never seen them around before—because how could he possibly forget the faces of the most beautiful women in this town?
They’ve gotta be sisters, Joel thought to himself, his hand resting on the neck of the horse that he’d ridden out to patrol that morning, a dark, chestnut mare named Willow. Although he was supposed to be walking her inside the stables and back into her stall, he found himself far too distracted. While the three women weren’t identical to one another, the similarity in their traits such as hair color and their skin tone confirmed his suspicions that they were related. They all styled their hair in neat halo braids and wore slightly different color variations of the same getup—pressed, long sleeved blouses tucked into knee length floral printed skirts and worn, leather oxford shoes.
Clutching the brown leather strap of his rifle in his opposite hand, Joel leaned himself against Willow and squinted against the bright afternoon sunlight in an effort to get a better look at them. 
The first two were slightly on the older side. If Joel had to take a shot at their age, he would guess the women were in their thirties—a man of fifty six, he still had about two decades on them, easy. Joel let his gaze shift, his dark brown eyes flickering to the last one. His breath audibly hitched in his throat and part of him wondered just how fucking dumb he had to be to be drawn to the youngest one of the three. It couldn’t be fucking possible—you couldn’t be that much older than your mid twenties, if that. 
Joel’s grip on the strap of his rifle tightened. 
All three of you were beautiful beyond words—why the fuck did it have to be you who held over his interest?
“Take a picture,” Maria remarked with a tiny laugh. She dismounted her horse and peered at Joel over the black stallion’s back. “It’ll last longer.”
She’d led that morning’s patrol, her first time back on duty since she had given birth to her son in the spring. Joel had returned to Jackson right on time to meet his one month old nephew, Noah. 
He cleared his throat and shrugged. “Just tryin’ to figure out what their deal is, that’s all.” He paused, then remarked, “Didn’t know polygamy was a thing around here.”
His comment must have struck a nerve in his dear sister in law—fiercely protective of the people who were under her leadership, Maria hadn’t found the sister wives implication the slightest bit amusing. 
“Watch it, Joel,” she admonished, shooting him a warning glare. “He’s the town’s pastor and those girls happen to be his daughters. So let’s keep our wise ass cracks to ourselves, shall we?”
His daughters? He almost couldn’t believe it. Surely the girls must have taken after their mother because they sure as hell didn’t get their good looks from their old man. They hardly looked anything like him.
“Pastor,” Joel repeated with a small hum. He then remembered her pointing out an old church house back during the winter when she’d given him and Ellie the grand tour of the community. “So he ain’t got a real job like the rest of us?”
Maria rolled her eyes. “His job is a real job, Joel. It might be hard for you to believe, but there are still a lot of people of faith around here,” she explained to him. “He provides them with comfort and with hope—”
He snorted sharply through his nose. “Hope?”
“Yes, hope,” she snapped at him. 
“Hope for what, Maria? That things will go back to fuckin’ normal? That the end of the world is temporary?”
Maria crossed her arms over her chest, jutting her chin. “Some people never lose hope, Joel. There’s a lot of people who need this man and he serves a much bigger purpose than what you’re giving him credit for.”
“And what about the girls? They have it easy too? Do they just stand there lookin’ pretty on Sundays while their old man reads verses out loud from the most useless fuckin’ book known to man?”
“If you must know, they work in the schoolhouse,” she answered, tossing him another glare. “They’re teachers. The oldest one, she teaches Ellie’s class. The middle one, she teaches the primary school aged children and the youngest? She takes care of all of our little ones. She prepares our preschool kids for her sister’s class by teaching them numbers and basic literacy. Shows them how to start counting, reading and writing, things like that. She also helps run the commune’s daycare.”
“At least they have real jobs,” Joel mumbled under his breath. 
“What was that?”
He feigned innocence. “Nothin’. Nothin’ at all.”
“That’s exactly what I thought.” Maria pointed her finger at him. “Come on, let’s get these guys back into their stalls. It was a long ride this morning, I’m sure they could use some rest.” Taking her stallion by the reins, she started leading him over toward Logan, one of the stable hands who helped take in the horses coming back from patrol. 
Joel took Willow’s reins in his hands—but before he could even think of moving another muscle, he glanced up and saw the preacher leading his three daughters past the stables and right past Joel. His self control faltered. All that he could do was stare at you, his eyes fixed on you so blatantly that one of your sisters had taken notice. Grinning, she turned back towards you and lifted a hand to her mouth. She used her palm to shield her lips from Joel’s view and whispered something to you over her shoulder.
Shit. 
He’d been caught gawking.
He thought about making a beeline for the stables but it was too late. 
Perplexed by whatever it was that your older sister had just said to you, you gave her an odd look, but then followed the subtle nod of her head. 
Glimpsing over in his direction, your lips parted in complete surprise and you came to an abrupt halt in the middle of the dirt road when you found your gaze meeting that of the much older, rugged man standing there with a gun slung over his shoulder.
Unsure of what else to do, Joel simply offered you a polite nod of his head. The gesture was innocent enough but it startled you. He could tell by the way you let out a small gasp and turned away from him, your eyes falling to the ground as you scurried to catch up to your father and sisters like a spooked little mouse. 
Joel couldn’t help but shake his head and laugh.
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“Is the preacher aware that his precious little daughters pay frequent visits to The Tipsy Bison at such late and ungodly hours?” Joel quipped. He gestured to a booth nestled over in a corner of the dimly lit bar with a subtle jerk of his chin. “S’gotta be the third or fourth time I’ve seen them here in the last couple of weeks.”
Tommy’s eyes followed his brother’s gesture. “Oh man, not again,” he said with an exasperated sigh. He shook his head. “Those girls, they ain’t got no fuckin’ business hangin’ around this place and much less at this fuckin’ hour. But the middle one, she’s a whole lot of trouble.” He paused, just long enough to nod at one of the three sisters, the one who was wearing her hair loose around her shoulders, twirling a lock of it around her finger as she made flirtatious fuck me eyes at the group of drunk patrolmen sitting a few tables away. “She’s somethin’ of a rebel, that one. Likes to drink a lot, get herself involved with things that she ain’t really supposed to be messin’ with. She’s the one who convinces the other two into sneakin’ out and comin’ to the bar when their old man goes to sleep.”
Joel chuckled in disbelief. “You fuckin’ serious?”
“As a heart attack. And then there’s the older one. I know she likes to drink too, but she’s a lot calmer than the other one. Ain’t gotta worry about her all too much, y’know? She tries to be the chaperone—it don’t always work out that way, though. Her halo ain’t exactly perfect either.”
“What ‘bout the youngest one?” Joel asked in the most nonchalant tone he could possibly muster. “Where does she fall on the scale between angel and devil?”
You’re carefully perched on the edge of the booth, your pretty features twisting in disgust with every sip of the rich, amber colored liquid in your glass. Unable to stomach the burning alcohol, you set it off to the side, abandoning it in favor of a glass of water instead.
“Her?” Tommy grinned, leaning back into his chair as stated, “Oh, she’s an absolute angel. She’s just ‘bout the sweetest fuckin’ thing you’ll ever see in your whole damn life, big brother. She’s gotta be the kinda girl who all the little birds and woodland critters sing to when there ain’t no one around,” he laughed. “She’s real good. Too good. Wouldn’t surprise me if the lord sent her down from heaven himself.”
Joel tossed him a skeptical look across the table.
“She really as innocent as she seems?” 
“I don’t think she even knows what it’s like to hold another man’s hand,” his younger brother laughed again and reached for his beer, taking a generous swig. 
Joel hummed softly and lifted his glass of whiskey to his lips. The mere thought of you being so pure and so innocent—untouched by anyone else—caused something to stir deep in his lower belly. 
“She’s the old man’s pride and joy,” Tommy continued, breaking into his train of thought. “Kind. Polite. Behaves. Doesn’t get herself into any kinda trouble—I mean look at her, she can’t even choke down a glass of whiskey. She’s just too good of a girl.”
Joel proceeded cautiously with his next question. “Any of them taken?” 
Surprised, Tommy raised his eyebrows. “Joel, don’t fuckin’ tell me—”
“No, I ain’t interested,” he interjected, rolling his eyes. “Just a curious motherfucker, that’s all.”
He didn’t seem too convinced by Joel’s answer. “They’re all single from what I know. To be honest, there ain’t a whole lot of men around here their old man would approve of,” he remarked. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice man and all, but when it comes to his daughters, he’s real strict. Not that controllin’ has done him much good, though.” He lowered his voice as a fellow patrolman walked past their table. “The middle one’s fucked her way through this entire town and then back again. She even made a pass at me while Maria was pregnant with Noah, if you can fuckin’ believe that.”
Amused, Joel snorted into his drink. Ballsy. “How goddamn drunk was she?”
Tommy ran a hand through his jet black curls. “Wasted. Oldest one ain’t exactly the Virgin Mary, either.”
“And the old man doesn’t know?”
“Nope. Ain’t nobody gonna snitch on grown women in their thirties.” Noticing the amused expression on Joel’s face, he adds, “By the way, just in case you haven’t figured it out, this stays between us, Joel.”
He smirked. “Which part?”
“All of it. And take it from me, those girls? S’best you keep your distance from them,” he warned as he stood up from the table. He picked up the blue denim jacket draped over his chair, shrugging into it. “Don’t go gettin’ any dumbass ideas, alright?”
“Look, if the wild one makes a pass at me, I ain’t gonna turn her down. S’not like I’ve got a pregnant wife at home.”
“Joel, I fuckin’ swear. If you even think ‘bout it—”
He held up his hands to stop him. “Relax. Was just a joke.”
“Right. M’sure it was.” Tommy snorted. “Listen, I gotta get back home. Don’t wanna leave Maria on her own with the baby for too long.”
“How’s she been holdin’ up?”
“She’s been so tired. Jugglin’ motherhood, runnin’ this place, and bein’ back on patrol duty. I keep on tryin’ to tell her to slow it down, but she just won’t listen to me.” He let out a small sigh and waved a dismissive hand. “But anyway. If you’re all good to head out, I can walk you back to your place since it’s on the way to mine?”
Joel looked down at his glass, still half full. “I think I’m gonna hang back for a while longer. I’m on the roster for evenin’ patrol tomorrow, s’not like I’ve gotta be up at the ass crack of dawn.”
“Suit yourself.” Clapping him on the back, Tommy bid him goodnight and started towards the door. 
As soon as he was gone, Joel looked over towards your booth. He watched as you whispered into the ear of your eldest sister who nodded her head in understanding. You stood up and said something else to her, then spun around on your heel, long skirt flowing along with the movement. Head down, you hastily made your way across the bar, being careful so as not to bump into anyone along the way.
You were leaving. Alone. 
In the middle of the fucking night? While drunk morons poured in and out of the bar?
She’ll be just fine, he tried to convince himself. 
Joel frowned to himself, gripping his drink tightly in his hand as he scanned the room.
Sitting at a nearby table was Kent, some idiot he’d been stuck with a time or two for patrol. He clocks the smirk that crossed the younger man’s face, his eyes following you all the way to the door. Leaning forward over the table, he whispered something to his buddies, his smirk widening. His comrades, all who looked and behaved more like teenagers rather than grown men, lifted their beers to him, nodding in encouragement. Drunk off his ass, Kent drained the rest of his own beer, slamming the glass bottle down onto the table before clumsily stumbling to his feet. 
Joel momentarily froze as soon as he realized what was happening. 
Kent was going after you. 
Joel’s lips pressed together into a tight, thin line.
Setting his drink down, he stood up from his table and slipped on his jacket before following suit.
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Joel stepped out of the bar and into the night, the chilly evening air nipping at his face. He took a look around. 
You were nowhere to be seen. Neither was Kent. 
That couldn’t fucking be good. 
“Where the fuck did you two go,” he muttered to himself under his breath.
That’s when he heard it. 
The sound of muffled screaming coming from the side of the building. Joel didn’t hesitate. Following your smothered cries for help, he whipped around into the dimly lit alley nestled in between the bar and the commune’s mess hall. You’re pinned underneath Kent with your skirt bunched up around your waist. One of his hands was covering your mouth while his other hand clawed its way up your bare thigh. 
“Aw, c’mon now, sugar,” Kent slurred his words together. “It’d be a fucking shame to let someone as cute as you stay a fucking virgin. Don’t be coy—I know you’re just like your stupid slut of a sister. She’s got no trouble spreading her fucking legs for me, y’know.”
Red.
It was the color that flashed in Joel’s mind. It was all he could see as he went up behind Kent, letting his hands reach for fistfuls of his leather jacket. He lifted him off of you with ease, slamming him hard against the brick wall of the mess hall. Pulling him forward, Joel slammed his body into the wall once more, knocking all the wind out of his lungs. 
“Miller, what the fuck are you doing!” Kent gasped out, frantically pawing at the older man’s hands in an effort to break free. “Get the fuck off me!”
“Takin’ advantage of an innocent girl?” Joel hissed at him, tightening his grasp on the collar of Kent’s jacket. “Think that makes you a fuckin’ man?”
Though he was still intoxicated, the sheer terror of being caught in Joel Miller’s hands sobered him just enough that he started sputtering an explanation. “I wasn’t fucking taking advantage of her! Her and her whore sisters were making eyes at me and the guys all fucking night! She fucking wanted it! She asked me for it, couldn’t even wait long enough to get back to my place—”
The lie came straight through his chattering teeth. The same teeth he would be picking up off the ground in the next minute or two. 
Joel knew he didn’t need to ask. Still, he turned to you, his rage only intensifying when he took in the sight of you lying there on the ground, the hem of your light blue floral skirt hiked around your waist. 
“That true?” He questioned you. “You wanted it?”
You stared at him with wide and fearful eyes.
A single tear slipped down the side of your face.
“Answer me, darlin’,” he prompted. “You wanted this?”
“No. I didn’t.” Your voice was small, barely audible.
But he’d heard it loud and clear. 
“She’s lying!” Kent tried to tell him. “She’s—”
Joel delivered the first punch, a blow so hard he’d felt the younger man’s nose crack underneath his curled fist. He struck him again and again, the blows coming in harder and harder, turning Kent’s face into a bloodied pulp.
If Joel didn’t get a grip, he would kill him. Part of him wanted to fucking kill Kent for putting his hands you—and more so for accusing of you wanting it. Pathetic fucking bastard. 
Holding Kent up by the throat with one hand, Joel pulled his switchblade from the back pocket of his jeans with the other. Fingers curled tightly around the hilt, Joel held up the knife into Kent’s view. He had left his eyes purple and swollen, but judging by the pitiful little pleas for mercy, it was clear that he could still somehow see the sharp blade being held an inch or so away from his face. 
“If I ever catch you anywhere near her again, I ain’t gonna be so fuckin’ generous,” Joel growled warningly. “I ain’t gonna let you walk away next time, boy. That understood?”
He nodded. “Un—Understood.”
“Good.” Joel released him, stepping backwards as he fell to the ground. “Get the fuck outta my face. Now.”
Kent managed to scramble to his feet and staggered off, disappearing from the alley. 
Chest heaving, Joel inhaled a deep breath through his nose, then exhaled it through his mouth before turning to you once more. 
Petrified, you still hadn’t moved a single muscle.
You looked fucking terrified. Whether it was from Kent’s assault or the way Joel had nearly beaten him to death right in front of you, it was hard to tell.
Crouching down beside you, Joel caught your subtle flinch. He proceeded to move slowly as he reached for the hem of your skirt. Delicately, he gripped the soft, flowing fabric and pulled it down into place. Joel then held his hand out to you. 
You hesitated for a split second, but accepted his hand and allowed him to help you up to your feet. 
“You alright, little dove?” The nickname had fallen from his lips before he could even think to stop it. 
“I think so,” you replied, nodding your head. You’d started to tremble and even though it had nothing to do with being cold, Joel took notice of it and he shrugged out of his camel colored jacket. He gave it to you, draping it over your shoulders. The scent of him instantly enveloped you—a mouth watering masculine mixture of clean soap, woodiness, and musk. It was far more intoxicating than the scotch you had tried back inside the bar. He didn’t utter a word to you as he wrapped his jacket around your body, both of his hands pulling gently at the lapels to bring them together in front of your chest. That was when you glanced down and saw he’d injured his hand. You gasped lightly. “Are you okay?”
Maybe it was the adrenaline, but Joel hadn’t even noticed that he’d split his knuckles wide open. Giving it a light shake, he assured you gruffly, “M’fine.”
Without thinking it through, you gingerly grabbed Joel’s hand, holding it in both of yours. “It doesn’t look like nothing,” you countered. You inspected it as best as you could in such poor lighting. “You’re bleeding.”
“Trust me, I’ve had a whole lot worse,” he deadpanned.
Ignoring his remark, you asked, “Can you move all your fingers for me? Just to make sure that it isn’t broken?”
Joel felt a strange warmth radiate in his chest. 
Fucking hell, Tommy had been right about you. 
You really were too good.
“Darlin’ I already told you m’fine—”
“Please?”
That word, and the way you’d said it, sent a shiver up the length of his spine.
Joel started wiggling his fingers in your palms. He winced slightly at the soreness. More than that, he knew his cuts and bruises would be all the fucking proof Tommy and Maria would need to know that he had been the one who rearranged Kent’s face. 
“See?” He spoke after a minute as he continued to move his fingers up and down. “Ain’t broken.”
“Let me clean you up,” you offered. Looking up at him, you cradled his hand as if it were a fragile baby bird you wanted to take home and nurse back to health.
“That really ain’t necessary.”
“You just saved me from—it’s the least I can do for you,” you insisted. Seeing him open his mouth just to protest again, you cut him off. “Please?”
There it was again.
Christ. That word sounded too good coming from those plush, pretty lips of yours. 
Joel sighed out in defeat. “Alright then,” he relented. “I s’ppose there ain’t no harm in lettin’ you clean me up a bit, little dove.”
Pleased that he had finally accepted, you carefully let go of his hand and took a step back, beckoning for him to follow you. “Come with me,” you said to him. “I know somewhere private we can go.”
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When you came to a stop at the old church house, Joel shook his head and took a step backwards. 
Puzzled, your brows knitted together. “What is it? What’s the matter?”
He backed away further. “I ain’t goin’ in there.” 
You tossed him an amused glance. “It’s a church.”
“Yeah, I know that. I ain’t exactly a man of God.” 
You couldn’t help but giggle. “So? What does that have to do with me taking you inside to clean your hand up for you?”
Shuffling his weight from boot to boot, Joel shrugged. “Just don’t think I belong in there, that’s all.”
“Do you think you’re going to melt if you step foot inside?” you teased him. After a minute, it became apparent that he was being serious about it. Joel’s discomfort about going inside the church wasn’t some kind of joke on his part, it was real. “Don’t be silly. It doesn’t matter that you’re not a man of God. That doesn’t mean that you’re going to explode or burn into a pile of ashes for going inside, you know.”
“After all the terrible shit I’ve done?” He looked up at the building, shaking his head again. “I just might burn, little dove.”
You bit back a small smile. You’d already grown to be quite fond of his sweet nickname for you. 
“There’s a first aid kit inside I can use to patch you up,” you told him. “It won’t take long, I promise.”
His lower lip rolled in between teeth as he thought it over. “I ain’t too sure about this—”
“It’s only going to take me five minutes to get your hand cleaned up and then you can leave. Okay?”
You were as stubborn as you were sweet. How the fuck was he supposed to say no to you?
Reluctantly, Joel finally agreed to it. “Okay.” He followed you up the creaking, wooden porch steps towards the double doors. He’d just started to wonder how the two of you were even supposed to get into the building after hours when you leaned down, lifting the old mat on the floor to reveal a set of keys. Unable to help himself, he scoffed, “Serious?”
“Doesn’t everyone keep a key under their mat?” 
“Yeah at their fuckin’ house. Not their church.” 
“Well to be fair, this is kind of like a second home. I spend quite a bit of time here,” you confessed.
Joel raised an eyebrow at you. “So much time that you’ve decided to keep a set of keys under the mat?”
Sheepishly, you nodded. “Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night, I’ll come here alone and sit with my thoughts for a while.” You shrugged. “Maria let me have the spare set of keys. She knows I come here and so does the rest of the council. I trespass with their full permission,” you kidded with a small grin. 
Unlocking one of the two doors, you stepped over the threshold and waited expectantly for Joel. But he stood there, making no move to join you on the other side. 
“This place gives me the fuckin’ creeps,” he admitted. 
You laughed. “It’s only the outside that’s creepy, I promise.”
Grimacing, Joel finally walked inside, his back and shoulders stiff with tension as he stepped into the place of worship. 
You closed the door and flipped on the lights, then opened a second set of double doors with another key from the ring. 
“Whoa.” He was pleasantly surprised. For as old as this place was, the interior of the church was quite nice. He could tell that it had been well cared for in its lifetime—the former contractor in him had little choice but to appreciate the high ceiling, the large windows, and the satin finish of the white paint on the rustic, wooden panel walls. 
There were a total of twelve pews, six on each side of the church. There was an older, antique piano in pristine condition nestled over in one corner of the room and in another, there was a large chalkboard propped up on a wooden easel, biblical verses that had been the focus of the congregation’s previous gathering still scribbled across it in white chalk. 
“See?” You nudged his arm with your elbow. “This isn’t so awful, right?”
“S’ppose it ain’t all that bad,” he muttered. 
Your eyes twinkled with pure amusement, adding, “And you didn’t burn into a pile of ashes.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Joel grumbled out in response. “Can we just get this over with so I can get outta here?”
You tossed him a playful little eye roll then nodded towards the pews. “Go ahead and just have a seat anywhere,” you instructed him. “I’ll be right back.”
You disappeared down a short, dimly lit corridor.
Letting out a heavy sigh, Joel slowly made his way down the aisle holding his injured hand against his chest. Now that the adrenaline had started wearing off, it’d started throbbing with pain.
There was an altar at the front of the church—if he could even call it an altar. 
It was a plain oakwood table with a white fair linen cloth draped over it and nothing else. 
Above it, bolted onto the wall, was a wooden cross.
He averted his eyes, turning away from it. 
Of all the shit to be intimidated by in this world. 
A fucking slab of carved wood. 
Joel’s attention shifted over to the chalkboard. He squinted at it, silently reading the verse to himself.
God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability. 1 Corinthians 10:13
“But with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it,” you recited the rest of the verse from behind him.
“No offense darlin’, but it sounds like nothin’ but a whole lotta gibberish to me,” he remarked to you over his shoulder. 
“No offense taken, Joel.”
Whirling around on the heel of his worn boot, Joel blurted, “How did you know my name?”
“You’re Tommy Miller’s brother. Everybody in this town knows your name.” You held up the white tin box in your hands. A big, red cross had been spray painted onto the lid. You sat down in the first pew and patted the seat right beside you. “Come sit.”
He sauntered over and dropped down next to you, watching as you opened up the box and started digging through its contents. “You know my name,” he stated after a few seconds of silence. “Sure would be nice for me to know yours.”
Smiling politely, you told him your name.
Joel repeated it. It rolled almost too sweetly off his tongue.
“S’real pretty, little dove. Just like you.”
His compliment nearly knocked all of the air out of your lungs and for a split second, you have to remind yourself to breathe.
Cheeks burning, you murmured a small thank you and plucked a bottle of saline solution from the kit along with a piece of clean cotton. You tried not to think about the way his eyes were fixed intently on you as you unscrewed the cap and poured a bit of the liquid onto the cotton. “It shouldn’t sting,” you reassured him, reaching for Joel’s injured hand. It was rough and calloused, a stark contrast against your own soft and smooth. You set his hand down on your knee, a strange sensation fluttering in the depths of your lower belly when the warmth of his skin seeped right through the fabric of your skirt. 
Comfortable silence fell over the both of you like a curtain as you started cleaning the blood off of his knuckles and his long, thick fingers. 
“You really believe in all this stuff?” Joel spoke, his question echoing off the bare walls of the church. 
You continued dabbing at his cuts, thinking it over in your head for a moment.
“I honestly don’t know,” you admitted.
Your answer took him by complete surprise.
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I have always been taught to believe in God, Joel. It’s all that I’ve ever known. I grew up in a religious community,” you explained to him, making sure to keep your eyes focused on his hand. Tossing aside the bloodied wad of cotton, you picked up another piece adding more saline to it. “After the outbreak, things changed, of course. I couldn’t imagine how He could let something like this happen. When we lost our mother to infection about five years ago, I stopped praying. I finally stopped holding onto the ounce of hope I had that He would make the world right again. I refused to believe in God. Sometimes I still do,” you confessed quietly.
“You said you spend a lot of time here. Why come to church if you’re not even sure you believe in any of this shit anymore?”
“I’m always here because there’s still a part of me that thinks there’s a chance for me to believe again. When I told you I come here when I can’t sleep at night, it’s true. It’s my time to be here completely alone, the time that I use to mend my broken relationship with God. Or at least, I’ve been trying to mend it.” Taking a little glass pot of homemade antibiotic ointment one of the women in the town made and traded, you took off the lid and scooped out some of the salve with the tip of your finger. You applied it carefully to his cuts and continued, “But lately, the more that I try to pray and talk to Him, the more foolish I feel. It’s just not working. It hasn’t been working for a long, long time.”
“Then why keep tryin’ if it ain’t workin’ anymore?”
“Because I don’t really have much of a choice.”
“Your old man?” Joel guessed, wincing slightly as you went over a particularly sore spot on his hand, right over the torn up knuckle of his index finger. 
“Mhm.” You nodded. “My father never lost faith in Him. He knows how I feel, but he refuses to let me give up on God. He won’t ever let me miss church or go to bed without reciting my nightly prayer. He won’t let me abandon our faith. Not until the day he is cold and buried in his grave.”
“So what I’m gettin��� is that he forces you?”
You finished applying the ointment and wiped the remnants lingering on your finger off on your skirt.
“Force is such a harsh word. I wouldn’t say that—”
“He’s forcin’ you,” Joel said, flatly. 
“Joel—”
“You can twist it however the hell you want, sweet girl,” he cut you off. “But if you’re tryin’ this fuckin’ hard to make yourself believe in somethin’ just for the sake of appeasin’ your dad because he can’t or won’t accept how you really feel ‘bout all this, well I hate to break it to you, but you’re bein’ forced.”
Your eyes widened ever so slightly at his words. 
You had never thought about it like that before.
Placing the lid back onto the pot of ointment, you put it back into the first aid kit and then set the tin box down onto the floor. You sat back and clasped your hands together in your lap, not knowing what else to say to him. 
He was right, after all. 
Joel’s fingers lightly squeezed your knee. “Hey.”
You brought your gaze over to meet his. “Hm?”
“Can I ask you somethin’ ‘bout your dad?”
“What is it?” 
Joel chose his words carefully. “Has he ever—he ain’t ever done anythin’ to hurt you, has he?” he asked you, earning himself a perplexed stare. He continued to elaborate. “What I mean is, he ever put his hands on you or anythin’ like that?”
Oh. That’s what he meant.
“Never,” you assured him quickly. “He would never lay a single finger on me or my two sisters.”
He gave your knee another squeeze. “Just needed to make sure of it, sweetheart. Back in the day, I used to hear and see awful things on the news ‘bout—”
You were quick to cut him off. “Look, my father isn’t perfect, but he’s not like that. He’s a good man who only wants what is best for us. He’s strict and he can be tough, but it’s only because he cares. He just doesn’t want us running down the wrong path.”
“The wrong path?”
You shrugged. “Life here in Jackson is decent, but there’s a lot of temptations he doesn’t want any of us falling into. He wants to protect us.”
“By controllin’ you.” 
It had been a statement, not a question. 
Giving him a wry smile, you assured him, “Joel, it’s really not as bad as you’re making it sound. I could be a whole lot worse off than this, you know.”
There was another short bout of silence.
Joel’s dark eyes fell to your blouse, noticing how a couple of the top buttons had come undone. 
He caught the slightest glimpse of the soft curves of your breasts—all it had taken was just a peek at them for his cock to twitch against the zipper of his jeans.
Don’t you get hard in a fuckin’ church, Miller.
His gaze wandered down a little further and that’s when he caught sight of the cross hanging from a delicate gold chain clasped around your neck.
Joel expected the sight of it to calm the straining in his jeans. Somehow, it only made it worse. 
“Earlier, when we were standing outside,” you had started to say, “You said you might burn if you came inside the church because of all the terrible shi—things that you’ve done.”
“S’right.”
You peered at him with curiosity. “So what exactly have you done, Joel?”
Joel leaned back into the pew, shaking his head at you as he finally pulled his hand from your knee. 
“You really don’t wanna know, little dove.”
“Why not?”
His answer was honest.  “Don’t want you to be scared of me.”
Angling your body towards him, you placed one of your hands on his thigh. Your fingers burned right through the dark blue denim of his jeans.
Joel’s lips parted slightly, taken aback by the bold move and the sudden shift in your demeanor.
Were you the same girl who’d nearly had a fucking heart attack a couple of weeks ago when Joel had nodded at you back at the stables? 
“I’m not scared of you,” you murmured, softly. You gave his leg a squeeze, pulling your plump bottom lip between your teeth. Between that and the wide innocent doe eyes that you were giving him, it was taking every last ounce of strength Joel had inside him to keep a straight face, to pretend you weren’t driving him absolutely wild with desire.
He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d felt such an incredible need to have someone. 
Want, sure. 
He had wanted Tess. He had wanted Esther. 
But Joel didn’t just want you. 
He fucking needed you. 
And he didn’t know why.
“I’m not scared of you,” you repeated, trailing your hand further up his thigh, setting a fire neither one of you would soon be able to contain. 
Joel leaned forward, bringing his face dangerously close towards yours. His warm breath fanned over your lips. It was still laced with bourbon. “You sure ‘bout that, darlin’ girl?” 
You tried to answer him in the steadiest voice that you could muster, but it was impossible for you to hide the effect this man had on you. 
You breathed out a shaky, “I’m sure.”
Lifting his uninjured hand, he reached up to tuck a loose lock of hair that had fallen out of your braids behind your ear. As his hand fell away, the palm of it grazed against the silkiness of your cheek. 
Though brief, the contact sent an electric current through each and every last single nerve ending in your entire body. 
Exhaling sharply, your eyelids fluttered closed. You nearly whimpered out his name. “Joel?”
“What is it, babygirl? What do you want?”
“I—I want you to kiss me.” 
Joel leaned in even closer, stopping only when his mouth was less than an inch away from yours. 
You heard him chuckle softly. 
“Y’know, I’d expect better manners from a good girl like you,” he tsked lightly, his nose skimming near the corner of your mouth. Closer. “What’s the magic word, little dove?”
“Please.”
“S’much better.”
Your heart pounded with anticipation.
It was almost too much for you to handle. 
Joel closed the remaining gap of space, capturing your lips with his own. He remembered his brother talking about you at the bar—how he had told Joel that you had never even held a man’s hand before.
It occurred to him that he was giving you your first kiss. Him. Joel Miller. The town’s resident asshole and a man who was well over twice your own age. He was the one giving you your very first kiss. 
The guilt suddenly started to creep in, sinking into his bones.
What the fuck had he been thinking? 
And what about you? 
Where the fuck had your common sense gone?
Probably ran off together with Joel’s.
“Sweetheart,” he murmured, pulling away slightly in an attempt to stop it from going any further. He tried again, mumbling against your lips, “We gotta stop. This ain’t right—”
You were having none of it. 
None. 
Clutching fistfuls of Joel’s denim shirt, you swung your leg over his thighs and straddled his lap. Your knees rested on either side of him on the bench. 
“Please,” you nearly pleaded. “Just kiss me. I want it—I want this. I promise you that I do.” You placed both of your hands on his broad shoulders, sliding them around him as you slowly sank down further onto his lap. “I want this, Joel.”
Suddenly, he realized that you were asking him for more than just his kiss. 
Now he knew for sure that all common sense had left that pretty little head of yours. 
“Baby, y’need to think real hard ‘bout this—”
Desperate, you uttered one final, “Please.”
Joel bit back a groan. How could he deny you? 
He couldn’t. Simple as that. 
“You sure ‘bout this?”
Your fingers toyed with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Yes. I’m sure.”
“C’mere then, darlin’ girl.”
Joel cupped the side of your face in his large palm and tilted his head up towards yours. Your mouths fused together and although he tried to be gentle, it was proving to be much too difficult—how could he be gentle when you were practically clinging to him? Holding onto him with fervor as if you’d been holding onto dear fucking life itself? 
Temperatures rising, you quickly shrugged out of his jacket, letting it fall to the floor behind you with a soft thud before wrapping your arms around him once again. You melted against him as your mouth molded to his in a perfect fit. 
His teeth nipped at your bottom lip, silently asking for permission to explore the cavern even further. 
Eagerly, your lips parted, granting him access. His tongue slipped past them, meeting yours in a slow and sensual heated dance. 
You breathed him deeply into your lungs, a little moan vibrating at the back of your throat. 
Joel’s hands went to your waist and he yanked the hem of your blouse free from your skirt. 
“Can I feel you, baby?” he asked, breathlessly. His mouth abandoned yours and he began to trail hot, open mouthed kisses underneath your jawline. 
Dazed, all you could do was nod in reply and utter, “Mhm.”
Joel’s hands slipped under your blouse and he slid them up the length of your sides. “Fuck, you gotta be the softest fuckin’ thing,” he cursed against the delicate, tender flesh of your neck. His lips latched onto your pulse point, suckling at the skin there as his fingertips dug into your hips. He needed to feel more, but he forced himself to wait. The last thing he wanted to do was make a wrong move or move too fast and scare you off.
“Joel,” you mewled his name. “Joel, I need—”
You trailed off, moaning when his mouth released your skin with a loud, wet popping noise. 
“Tell me, sweet girl. Tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you,” he promised. “Anythin’ you need or want, I’ll give it to you. Just say the fuckin’ word.”
“You, Joel. I need you.”
His hips involuntarily bucked upwards and you let out a startled gasp the moment you felt his bulge, hard as a rock, brush against your clothed cunt. 
Tearing away from him, it suddenly hit you. You’re in a church, straddling a much, much older man in a pew—and if that wasn’t sinful enough, the warm and slick arousal pooling between your thighs only proved that you were ready to fall into temptation, give into the lust and give your body to Joel. But it was none of those things that worried you. It was something else. 
You pulled yourself out of his arms and jumped up off his lap, nearly tripping over your own two feet.
“Darlin’ are you—?”
You didn’t even hear the rest of his question.
Knees trembling, you somehow managed to make your way up to the altar. Heart pounding and head spinning, you planted both of your hands firmly on the table and steadied yourself. Part of you hoped that Joel would just get up and leave. But a bigger part of you hoped he wouldn’t. 
Joel rose to his feet. “Listen, ain’t nothin’ wrong if you changed your mind, alright?”
“I didn’t,” you choked out. “That’s—that’s not it at all.”
“Then what’s the matter?”
Embarrassed, you tried to explain yourself. “I have never done anything like this before. I’m a—”
You couldn’t even bring yourself to say the word out loud. 
“You’re a what?”
Blazing heat flooded your face. “Joel, please don’t make me say it,” you groaned. “For the sake of my sanity, don’t make me say it.” You heard the sound of his brown leather boots as he walked up behind you, one heavy footstep after the other.
“Turn around, sweet girl.” 
Joel’s command was firm but still gentle. 
Swallowing dryly, you obeyed and did as you were told. He stood close and you found yourself at eye level with his chest. 
“Look at me.”
You tried, but couldn’t. 
“I said, look at me.” Joel gingerly took your chin in between his thumb and index finger. He lifted your face, forcing your gaze to meet his own, timid and submissive meeting bold and dominant in a sweet and tender exchange. “Never known the lovin’ of a man, have you little dove?”
He backed you up against the table, pinning you in between it and himself. Planting both of his hands on either side of you, he caged you in and brought his chest flush against yours, pressing your bodies together.
Close, but somehow not close enough.
Joel lifted his hand to your cheek, cradling it in his palm. His thumb swept over your quivering bottom lip.
You reached behind you, clutching at the fair linen as you tried with every fiber of your entire being to remind yourself that you were standing at the altar where your father preached and delivered all of his sermons to the faithful people of Jackson. 
The very same altar where your father encouraged you to kneel and pray in effort to mend the broken relationship you had with God. 
You couldn’t help but to think if you were to get on your knees tonight, it wouldn’t be for prayer.
“I asked you a question, darlin’.” Joel’s voice broke into your train of thought. “Need you to be a good girl and give me an answer, alright?”
“My father loves me,” you stammered out in reply. “He loves me and my sisters—”
“C’mon, babygirl.” He chuckled and shook his head at you, lightly pinching your cheek. “That ain’t what I mean and you damn well know it.”
Sighing softly, you finally answered, “No, Joel.”
“No, what?”
“No, I’ve never known the loving of a man.”
Joel slipped the tip of his thumb between your lips and leaned into you, his hardness pressing against your upper thigh. Even through all the clothes, you could feel every inch of him. “Do you wanna know how it feels, baby? What it feels like when a man makes you his own?” 
You nearly moaned around his finger. “Yes.”
“Yes, what?” he prompted, pulling his hand away.
“Yes, please.”
“I can show you.” Joel paused. “But not tonight.”
You stared at him in disbelief. Both of you were so clearly riled up and he was going to take a pass?
He almost laughed at your expression. 
“C’mon, don’t give me that face.”
“But Joel—”
“Just don’t wanna rush it, not with you,” Joel said in a tone so soft it nearly threw you for a loop. “M’gonna need you to be real patient for me, just for a little while, alright? You think you can do that, little dove? Think you can be patient for me?”
Your answer came without an ounce of hesitation.
“Of course,” you breathed.
You would wait an eternity for Joel Miller.
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intromortal · 6 months ago
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―ɴᴏᴛ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ
bodyguard!p.js x nepobaby!reader
―wc: 10k est (well that was a fucking lie)
―cw: SMUTTTT, jealousy, feelings of unworthiness, possessive jay, angst, some lack of communication we love overthinking, not very professional behavior, more to be added
―release date: 10th june postponed
― series masterlist
―preview
You truly were a vixen, Jay though to himself, a dirty dirty vixen.
You had lured him in slowly. First with longing glances, your eyes flicking from his own to his lips whenever he talked to you. Then, you started trying to get his attention by dropping hints about your slow sexual life. “It’s not like I don’t have options,” you’d say over lunch while peering up from your cosmopolitan, the peel of a blood orange always adorning the rim of the glass as per your request. You’d fix your eyes on him, the hairs on his neck standing at the intensity of your gaze, “It’s just that none of these options seem fun or appealing enough.”
You could have anyone you wanted, and Jay knew that very well. Gorgeous gorgeous face and long thick lashes batting at him while feigning innocence from time to time, but you just happened to have a weak spot for what you couldn't have.
-
Jay suspected you would do something drastic when you eventually got frustrated enough. Something like kissing him out of the blue maybe. He could even say he was prepared to reject it, reject you, forbidden fruit luring him in. Gluttony hidden behind the promise of bliss.
What he did not expect was for you to get in the middle of the backseat while he was driving you to your penthouse after an event, position each one of your heeled feet on the back of the front seats, flip your gown up and slide your fingers inside your pretty white lace panties. Right where he could see.
He paid you no mind for the entirety of the car ride, never once telling you to stop, gaze fixed on the road ahead. You’d think he was completely unaffected if it weren’t for how hard he gripped the steering wheel, the veins on his hands bulging and knuckles turning white.
He even got up from his seat once you arrived home calmly as usual, only the shutting of his door louder than it needed to be. He opened yours silently, walked with you inside the elevator to get you inside your penthouse.
But when the door of your apartment shut close behind you he was all over you in an instant, teeth clashing against yours in a frenzied, passionate kiss. Sensual pants and rips of fabric the only sounds filling the huge modernly decorated space. He didn’t even allow you to walk to your room, you tortured him for months, even the thought of waiting for a second more than necessary was unfathomable to Jay. He wanted you then and he was gonna have you whenever and however he pleased, he was owed that much.
He had you spread for him on the big sectional couch in your living room, holding the back of your thighs as he pounded into you with force he never knew he was capable of. He had you propped over the armrest, stomach red from the roughness of the material and ass up, red from the roughness of his hands, your upper body pushed forward each thrust as the skin of his balls slapped against your behind. He had you facing him, holding yourself up on your arms, legs spread over his as his hips drove inside you from underneath, lifting from the soft carpet.
You two kept fucking after, sporadically escaping from the public eye to hide in a dressing room, his thick fingers inside your mouth to silence your moans. In the car parked away somewhere abandoned, riding him in the backseat, hands gripping the front seats as you bounced on his cock. In the shower of an expensive hotel overseas, your hair in a makeshift ponytail in his hand as he fucked your sore mouth on his length, twitching every time you held eye contact with him through your gags. You even managed to sneak him in your office, his tongue lapping you up from under the desk, hidden from the eyes of the businessman sat in front of you.
It went on like this for a while, before he showed up to your front door one time in the dead of the night, soaked from head to toe from the downpour descending outside.
or
Jay wants you for himself more than he would ever dare to admit, but knows all you're in for is a bit of forbidden fun.
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rubiehart · 4 days ago
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how are jj and bsf!reader doing after s4’s events…
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♪ heavy - the marías ♪
the neurons in jj’s body are practically buzzing with how giddy he is, blonde mop flopping back against the head rest with every bump of the long country road. his lips are fixed in that signature cocky grin that made you fall head over heels for him all those years ago in the sand box days. “you kiddin’ me?” he laughs breathily, the north carolina air whizzing past the semi-crooked open windows. manually wound down ‘cause the twinkie’s an old girl to say the least.
the wind whips through his blonde tresses and he’s happily bobbing in his seat, hands readjusting on the wheel, one on the ten, other on the three, as he fixes his gaze on your form, looking like some kind of hyper-active puppy with you sprawled out in shotgun, back resting against the door as you grin fondly at his antics. he whistles, his adoration of you being completely obvious. “cause seein’ you in that ‘kini.. nearly sent me off my damn feet..”
the change in his approach is noticeable as you pull your head back in from the window to meet his eye, wind no longer roaring in your ears when you smirk almost challengingly, elbows leaned against the rim of the open window, tilting your head to the side questioningly, knowing he could never resist your teasing, you murmur a “yeah?” watching the way he fidgets in his seat as the van rumbles down the empty road.
he noticeably jerks in excitement as your slight show of submission, warm, ring adorned hand moving to rest against your bare thigh, kneading the flesh fondly, eyes never leaving yours as he silently pleads with you. “you’re not kiddin’ right, baby? ‘cuz that’d be real mean, i promise ya.” he speaks slow, in that southern drawl that always made you mentally fold for him, you shrug, faux carelessly as you bump over another pothole, tits jostling in your triangle bikini top.
you dismiss his admission with a soft shake of your head and a flick of his knuckle, cheeky smile on your face as he re-situates himself with two hands on the wheel, a little pissy about the loss of contact. “eyes on the road, jay.” you tease, ironically because you’re sitting horizontally in your seat, and neither of you are wearing seatbelts, he plays along though, tonguing at his bottom lip with a grin. “damn straight baby, gotta get the princess home in one piece, hm?”
the air is thick and heavy, almost swelteringly so outside of the car’s open windows. and if the north carolina sun is beating down fierce on the back of jj’s neck, he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest as your eyes rake all over his form shamelessly, lazy smile on your face as you take in his angular nose and chiselled jaw, carefree smirk and shining eyes.
you reach for the stereo, turning up the volume as your head whips around, vision fixed on the passing private beach, littered with people and laughter. you pass over more bumps and pot holes, which only makes this more torturous on jj as the fat of your tit slowly reveals itself to him at every jostle of the vehicle.
his hands are white knuckled on the wheel, readjusting his grip, one of the twelve, one on the nine. and it’s not from speed. he’s gripping the wheel so hard that when the car jerks once, twice, three times, he’s squeezing his eyes shut momentarily by the end of it, forcing his mouth shut. the cause for the reaction is the sight he’s currently privy to in the corner of his peripheral view. his jaw is slightly agape, eyes wide and lovesick. “god. damn.” he whispers.
your head whips back in his direction, eyebrows furrowing in confusion before you realise what had elicited that reaction from him. you laugh softly, readjusting the thin fabric of your bikini top over your pert nipple, eyes finding his own wide ones. “eyes on the road, jay.” you reprimand once again, teasing evident in your tone.
he swallows, throat dry as the sahara as he attempts to play it off, drumming his fingers against the wheel, nodding along. “eyes on the road. eyes on the road, yeah, yeah, yeah - yeah.” he’s far from convincing as you snicker at him, watchinf the way his eyes are on the road for all of three seconds before they’re dipping back down again. he’s starting to sweat a little and it has nothing to do with the blazing heat outside.
jj’s lips tug into a smirk that’s all too cocky for his current situation as they speed past the marshlands. he won’t admit the heat that’s currently spreading through his body and quickly making its way south, tenting the front of his swim shorts noticeably. “shut up-“ he grumbles, running his hand through his slightly damp hair, gesturing towards you as he continues. “look at you.”
she just laughs, giving herself a dramatic look over in the windshield, pursing her lips and playing with her hair. “guess i am pretty cute, huh?” his hands adjust on the wheel, relaxing again is his seat as he looks you over with a fond smile, heart swelling for the girl of his dreams. it seemed something else was swelling too.
it’s almost like you can see the cogs turning in his head, sniffing in an attempt to seem casual as he speaks, canines glinting in the sun as he eyes you with hooded lids. “what d’ya think ‘bout pullin to the side of the road for a bit? just for a lil’ while.”
“that was weak.” you laugh, but your eyes tell a different story because he’s already flicking on the turn signal and slowing the van a little.
“so is that a yeah?” he says, the van coming to a stop on the side of the road near a clump of bushes, no passing cars, and he’s desperate to be on you.
“as long as you’re gonna be pullin’ somethin’ else to the side.” you snort, nodding with a raised eyebrow, and he’s already scrambling for the door handle with a triumphant ‘woop’. you follow in suit, pulling open the backseat sliding door of the twinkie.
he gets the door open, stumbling out of the driver’s seat and practically tripping onto the backseats. he lands on his butt with a huff. “that was a weak ass line-“ jj can barely get his words out before he’s got a lapful of his girl and soft, eager lips on his own. he kisses you back with equal, if not more, fervour.
she pulls back, a weak string of saliva connecting their kiss swollen lips as she grins, “you love it.” the heat between her legs being sensed by jj as he grabs her hips, grinding her clothed cunt against his bare thigh.
“damn right, i do baby.” he grins, immediately latching his lips onto the skin of her collarbone, sucking fondly, the smell of her filling all his senses as his ringed fingers dig into the flesh of her hips lovingly.
her head lols back, breathy little whimpers leaving her lips as he marks her, fingernails digging into his broad shoulders as she speaks, voice all soft and needy. “roadside quicky, what’dya think?”
he pulls away softly, hands sliding up her stomach and eventually resting on her tits as his eyes find her own glazed over ones. he lets out a low, shaky exhale against the skin, making goosebumps rise along her arms, a hint of a smirk on his kiss swollen lips. “i think you’re a little eager, baby.” he teases, warm hands sliding under the thin material of your bikini top to palm your tits.
“can you blame me?” she says, in attempt to sound teasing but she just sounds utterly desperate as her shameless eyes roam all over his form, that look in her eye he knew all too well as you grind against his harness softly, eyes locked on his.
“no ma’am.” jj grins, giving your hips another encouraging little squeeze as they move in slow, tantalising circles over his lap. “god, no.” he practically growls, head falling back against the leather seat, adams apple bobbing as he swallows.
the feeling your giving him is something he’d kill to keep forever, and the feeling is easily reciprocated by you. and like every other time you’re with jj, the same question is spinning around your mind: why did you hold back from heaven for so long?
no pressure tags: @daintcas @echobx @forstarkey @heybank @inez-winchester-cameron @iheartjjmaybnk @jjsgirly @kraekat29 @livbedum @lustnluv @maybankslover @maybankswhore @maiiuelle @nemesyaaa @nightsteps @outermaybanks @obaex @obxologies @oceandriveab @princessmaybank @poguediaries @redhead1180 @sleepyjuice @stxrslut @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @jjsbaby
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mediumgayitalian · 7 months ago
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“What are your parameters for loving me?”
Careful to keep her head locked forward, Naomi glances over at her son. Will’s picked-bloody fingernails scrabble at the worn bandage around his wrist, twisting until his knuckles turn white. The car shakes with his violently bouncing leg, out of time with the shuddering engine and rumbling dust roads under the wheels.
“There aren’t any.”
“There have to be — some.” The bandage is longer than she thought, unspooled in his lap. He winds it back up again quickly, hands blurring; darting around his wrist, tapping on his knees, flexing and locking, flexing and locking. “I mean, what if I became a misogynist?”
She snorts. “I think you’re good, honey.”
“No, Mom, what if? Think about it for real. You’d stop loving me, right?”
“I might knock you around a bit, but it’d pretty hard to stop loving you completely,” she teases. She pinches the stubbornly-clinging baby fat of his cheeks between her knuckles, ruffling his hair when he ducks away.
“Seriously, Mama.”
“I dunno, Will. I’d send you to work for your Auntie Di for a while, probably. Reckon she’d straighten you out good.”
“Okay.” He nods, twice to himself, chewing on his lip. The bandage is wrapped around his elbow, now, pulled tight enough that she can hear the groan of his joints. “Okay. What if I killed someone?”
“Be a pretty hefty secret for the two of us.”
“An innocent person. Cold blood, just because I wanted to.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I could, Mom. People are — unpredictable.” He picks at a hole in his shorts until it’s wide enough to slide three fingers through, pulling the bandage in after them. It looks yellowed next to the green of the fabric, worn. “Sometimes you think you know someone but you don’t.”
“I know you.”
She pushes on her turn signal, slowing to a near stop. Will’s twitching fingers unconsciously synch up, cri-tap, cri-tap, cri-tap. The rusted rims groan as her tires amble around the bend, quieting as she lurches forward. They both duck as she hits a pothole, narrowly avoiding the warped ceiling.
“Cold blood, Mama.”
“I’d — it would scare me, I guess.” The next few potholes are smaller — she can avoid them with some manoeuvring. A mouse darts out onto the road, rushing out from the surrounding cornfields, and she slams on the break, thrusting her arm out to the passenger side. Will’s hands come to cup over her forearm as he slams into it, grunting softly. The mouse sprints across the rest of the road, tail swishing behind it, disappearing into the stalks. She settles back into her seat, brushing across Will’s seatbelt as she does, and presses the gas again. “More for you than of you. For what would happen if someone came knocking.”
“You wouldn’t report it?”
“No I wouldn’t report it, Will, Jesus.”
“But I — but I did something evil.”
“This is a hypothetical, baby.”
“And in the hypothetical. You’re —” He scrubs his hand down his face, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re a good person. You have — morals.”
“I’m a person, Will.” The GPS beeps at her — twenty-five miles to the Tennessee border. “And I’m a mother before that.”
“So if I — you would just — just like that? You’d — forgive me?”
“I’d love you,” she corrects.
“But you wouldn’t forgive me.”
She shrugs. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it.”
“So how do you know you’d still love me?”
“Because there’s nothing you could do, baby. I mean it.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing.”
“Not even if I was a bully? Or a landlord? Or if I — liked boys?”
He says it quickly, or tries to, but he stumbles over his words, tripping over the syllables. Naomi sucks her bottom lip into her mouth, biting it hard.
“You would still love me, if I — if I —”
Keeping her movements steady, she removes her boot from the gas. Will glances, fast, at her tightening knuckles on the steering wheel, looking quickly away. She guides the car to the shoulder of the road, pulling into park, and kills the engine, unclipping her seatbelt and turning ninety degrees to face her son. Will crowds into the corner of the seat, hunching in on himself, shoulders tense and curling, hair failing over her lowered head.
“Oh, Will.”
His body shakes as she pulls him into her, hands trembling so bad they spasm, twitching out of the fists he makes. She shifts until both of her arms wrap tightly around her torso, ignoring the burn of the trench, tucking his forehead into her collarbone, dropping her lips to press against his temples, his cheeks, the crown of his head.
“It’s okay, baby.”
“It’s — not. I’m still, I can still —”
“Sh.” His tears drip onto her shirt, her skin. He chokes back a sob and she tightens, reflexively, pulling his whole body even closer to her, somehow, making space for his too-long legs, knees hitting his chest, feet dangling off the seat, gearshift shoved into his thigh. His chest heaves with the effort of keeping his cries locked up in his throat, hidden behind clenched teeth, squeezed shut eyes. His fingers cling onto her shirt, twisting the fabric so hard it warps. Her own fingers clutch desperately at the ridges of his spine, the inside of his elbow; squeezing, holding, bruising. His voice is rough as raw grit and reedy as pond scum, barely above a whisper.
“I like boys, Mama.”
“I heard you.” She rests her forehead on his shoulder, her own breaths shuddering. “I heard you, sweetheart.”
“I like — a boy.”
“Okay.”
“For a long time.”
Her swallow constricts her throat, shoving the air back in her lungs. How long, she cannot bring herself to ask — when was it, exactly, that he decided he could not trust her with this? When did she lose that privilege? Was it when he started protecting her from the pain in his life, or before? When he lost everyone close to him at once, or when he broke down and told her about it? When was she no longer the person he ran to when he was scared, nervous, afraid?
He used to come to her for everything.
“I love you,” she whispers, voice wet as it slides against the lump in her throat. She squeezes him again, and this time, he squeezes back, pressing his face into her skin. “Will Solace, you are what keeps me going, do you understand that? Come up here, baby, look at me.”
His eyes aren’t hers. He takes after his father, really; after his older brother once upon a time. But he speaks like she does and smiles like she does and stands like she does, and when he cries he gets that same look, like the ocean has emptied itself inside of him. She cradles both palms to his wet cheeks, thumbs pressing under his eyes, kissing his forehead, his cheekbones, wiping the tears away.
“Fifteen years long you’ve been the light of my life. I need you to understand that, Will. I have never loved anything like I love you and there will never be anyone who comes even close. There is no hypothetical, no situation, no anything that could change that. There are no parameters. None. You understand me?”
“Everything stops,” he croaks. “Everything has a limit.”
“Not me,” she says firmly. “You ain’t a baby no more, baby, but you’re gonna have to pretend for a moment that I know everything again. I am telling you that there is no boundary. And I am not giving you the option to disagree. You are my son and my sun and that’s final, Will. That’s final.”
His face crumples. She pulls him close again, sighing, letting him curl up in his lap like he’s ten years younger than he should be, instead of the ten years older he acts. She runs a hand through his knotted hair and another down his back and presses her lips to his temples, holding him every place she can reach, and rocks them, even though there’s no room to do it, humming slow and low under her breath.
“We’ll get there,” she promises, tapping a beat on his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Okay?”
He nods into her neck. “Okay.” His voice is small but not cowering, thankfully; small like he’s hiding in her instead of from her. She fights the urge to sag into him, to burst into tears of her own.
“I love you, Will. No matter what and forever.”
“I love you too, Mama.”
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dilf-docs · 1 month ago
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Misery Reigns My Lonely Neon Nights
old man!logan x younger fem!reader
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summary: logan should've said no. should've just drove the pretty waitress home. that's his job. hers is to serve his cup of coffee to the brim. so why is he riding you to his house?
warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (cause we have a small daddy kink going on here.. hence the blog name BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD DAD), smut, this reeks of corruption kink for no reason other than me being a virgin whore, like he gets stalker-ish for a second but its logan howlett so we forgive him<3 ya está viejito, brief mention of suicide, sub logan edging on praising kink (if u squint), no protection but u gotta put the hat on the cowboy to ride the horse alr, riding, breeding kink??? angst (the depressing vibes are there cause they follow my writing like a shadow ijbol)
word count: 33,577 words (at the v crack of dawn.. i think i've gone insane FR it's 02:07 am and my brain its eating itself like im gonna start seeing logan in the corner of my room)
side note: newbie here after reading so many fanfics on tumblr but never publishing my own!! its hugh's birthday (well, its past midnight so no more but still!!! it was a couple hours ago) so i figured i should give it a try today cause that man does things to me ESPECIALLY as old man logan i can't lie and say the thought of him fucking me good and slow hasn't crossed my mind too many times 😩 we love sad hot old people in here so naturally my inaguration fic had to be done by him. also, i'm tired of scrapping for votes, comments, and interactions on wattpad so please treat me well during our first:// it's me moving to tumblr it's me hi i'm the problem it's me. i'm a feedback whore so pls leave tons of those!! also, english isn't my first language so if i make a grammar mistake pls do not tell me bc i have no respect for this language ―it just makes me cringe less to write smut on a language that isn't mine lol<3 but if there's any other mistake yes pls do tell me thank u OKAY BYE i needa quit yapping ENJOY dilf town<3
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So it started something like this.
It was another simple nightshift for Logan. The weather humid, uncomfortably sticking the fabric of his white button shirt onto his skin. Even with the windows down. Those nights that the driving dragged on for long, like those cigarettes that now made him cough more than relax. The roads felt too long; his eyes too heavy.
Nothing new. Just about what to expect: money short, clients and traffic equally annoying. But that was the problem; nothing was new anymore.
He'd just finish dropping a customer close by, and since the tiring feeling didn't seem to leave his body just yet, a coffee wouldn't hurt. As a matter of fact, the need for a boost to make it home makes him get out of the car and limp his way into the first place his tired vision sees.
The rim of his recently adquired reading glasses slips as he climbs the stairs into the decades old diner, the decoration outdated. He understands; he feels the same way.
Neon lights flash his face when he enters the place and sits in the farthest booth he can find. The air is impregnated in grease and cheap coffee, but he waits at least fifty minutes to order, giving his body some time to rest. In the meanwhile, he tries to distract himself with the newspaper resting on the table, but God knows his eyes are too tired and his mind drifts every two words.
He hopes he doesn't get kicked out, judging from the attentive look he's receiving by a waitress resting on the bar. She looks as bored and tired as he does.
Maybe that's why he chooses her, raising his hand with order in mind. A black coffee. The waitress slides from her position and takes some steps to where he sits.
Her voice is sweet when she introduces herself, and Logan finds himself asking her again what her name is, pretending he's half deaf just to listen to it again.
"It's y/n" you repeat, oh so sickeningly sweet, he might have to skip on asking for sugar.
"Y/n" he savours the name on his lips, trying the tender sound, his eyes darting to the name tag, like he's confirming it. Testing to see if the young woman in front of him is real. Maybe his eyes linger a little too long, and the tip of your ears start to heat. Its the way he examines every feature on your face, like memorizing it in a sense, that makes you squirm. But maybe, just maybe, it's the small―brief, peak he gives to your exposed cleavage, pushing itself against the tight fabric of your uniform what truly gets your heart beating fast.
He looks like what your parents would warn you to stay away and your friends would talk behind your back. Rugged in a way that screams heartbreak, rough around edges your kind nature wishes to soften. It's unresonable to feel this way about a client you just met, but his aloof demeanor peaks your interest, so different from your usual costumers and familiar faces that pop up at the diner.
"Can I order you, darling?" his voice comes out deep, almost passing as a grunt. Just what you imagined it to sound. Why he's acting as his past self so effortlessly, after closing himself off to the point of going by entire days without talking more than three words, is concerning. Why the cute waitress who looks at him with doe eyes, expectant to take his order, is making him break the promise he made to himself not to get attached again―just live by enough to make it to the sea and put a bullet in his head.
"Well, that's just about my job" you joke, feeling confident for no reason. "But you can't order me".
"A damn shame" he chuckles, the sound deep, rumbling on his chest. It's been so long since he's laughed like that: carefree, without that pressing weight on his chest, that despite the sinking notion, sometimes feels more like a hole carved where his heart is supposed to be.
"So..." you trail off, unsure where to proceed after that sound that jolted your entire system awake, "what will you take?"
The banter dies, and Logan is dissapointed when she scribbles the dark coffee on her pretty round letter and walks away. He doesn't miss the sway of her hips, and almost calls her back just to hear her voice again. But he stops himself, because it's getting pathetic.
When she returns with her order, he almost regrets the comeback of his enhaced senses, her honeyed perfume mixed with the bitter smell of the freshly brewed coffee, creating an intoxicating mix.
His lips burn when he sips it, but that doesn't stop him from emptying the cup. Again. And again. All in the name for asking for more coffee, a magnetic force pulling him to the ground, making him forget he's a 200 and something year old man begging like a starved man for at least a fraction of her attention. He feels unworthy of your warmth.
He feigns interest on the newspaper when you return again (he's been stuck on the same paragraph ever since he sat down), the pot in your hands. If you've noticed he's emptied the cups faster than a normal person, you don't ask questions. He's thankful, but can see the amusement and confusion laced across your pretty face.
"More?" you ask, but it's unnecesary. He only nods, and you miss the chatter.
The closeness it's a challenge itself, the uniform's neckline practically shoved down his nose while she fills the cup to the brim. He hears his own heartbeat, the sound averting his attention from another "brief" glance at the cleavage. Is it intentional? Is your goodwill and act? Are you this cruel, playing with an old touch starved man like that?
God knows it's been long since he's had a helping hand during his relief hours.
He can't help it; he's a man, after all. So he seizes the moment and steals a glance. But his eyes meet yours, the wary green clashing with the cozy chocolate. There's warmth on your eyes, and he's looking at your tits like an animal. He pulls away, ashamed. The shirt feels a bit suffocating, and there's sweat on his forehead again. Great, you'll think he's a perv.
"Excuse me" you say, leaving his table. Logan is afraid of having fucked it up for thinking with this dick and not with his head. You were messing too much with his head, and now he'll pay the price. Fair, he thinks, for a perverted old man trying to woo a girl younger and far more innocent than him.
There's benevolance on her smile and blood on his hands.
The whole situation is stupid.
But then he's thinking of excuses (like saying it's his failing eyesight's fault) and something close to an apology, as if he cares a little too much about what you think. And then you come back.
"I forgot to bring you a napkin" she lies, leaving the piece of paper in the middle of the table. You laugh, and Logan let's you because 1. He deserves it, and 2. It's a sound as saccharine as the smell the freshly heated pies emit on the table across him.
You leave before he can even open his mouth, so all he's left with is the napkin that seems to have something written on it. Pervert, he reads, on the same calligraphy you scribbled on your bloc. He can't help but laugh, even with your watchful look on him.
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That's how it continued.
Even if he had other rides and more energy to drive, he kept coming to the decaying diner just to see you. Almost as if he was forgetting his desperate need for the money, the boat goal further and further.
"You've forgotten about me" complained Charles, although his tone lacked of bite. "But I'm not mad that you've had".
He'd go on, rambling about living life but Logan just laughed. Yet, maybe he was right. Didn't even need his powers to know it.
Now, you? you simply couldn't get enough of your favorite costumer. Of his late stays until you closed, sometimes not muttering more than necessary, yet his company, even if curt, proved to be what you needed to make it through work, giving you a legitimate reason to yearn the before tedious night shifts.
Despite this two month weird relationship, Logan is as a stranger to you as he was the first day, no matter how many times you've tried to get him to talk. In the end, all your conversation efforts feel more of a monologue than a chat.
He knows about your mom and your dad, one strict the other dead. He knows most of your friends names, what you're studying and what you wanted to. Your dreams and your hopes, your aspirations, failures, and some other things you'd never say to anyone else out loud. All and nothing. And he listens, sometimes asking questions, but never about himself. He never takes the lead.
So frustration from the Logan enigma pours into you, the puzzle pieces layed out over your mind, consuming your thoughts. So now you're stubbornly cleaning the same grease spot on a table you've already wipped before, and that, coincidentally, it's the booth in front of Logan, the permanent resident of your head during these past weeks. You might as well make him start paying rent by now, his power and hold over you ridiculous.
"It's not going anywhere. Take it easy" he mocks you.
There's a bit of annoyance when you reply back, although it's mostly superficial. "Don't know what you're talking about" comes out your dry response, earning a low chuckle from him.
"How about you sit for a moment?" he offers, ignoring your apathy. "You're almost done cleaning up".
If his ever changing attitude isn't enough, closing this night's shift is as tiring.
Logan doesn't expect you to obey, but now you're sitting across from him, and a voice in his head says you maybe feel sorry for this lunatic old man.
You're so close, he can see the eye bags and sorrow you are far tired to try to hide.
"I have to finish cleaning" you explain, "we're about to close".
He doesn't know why he says it, or what takes over him when he says:
"I could wait for you"
He surprises himself and surprises you too.
"No need" you assure, and why does he feel so dissapointed. It's stupid. "My friend picks me up".
Ah, yes. The friend with the perfect stupid smile that picks you up every night. Not like he parks his car until you leave and sees the scene unfold each time, his white knuckle grip on the wheel a bit too much when the young boy opens up your door. Makes him see red, knowing he's your age and maybe the breathe of fresh air you need. Not a man far older, who bears too many sins and scars in and out.
"I see" he says after some minutes in silence, retracting his impulsiveness. "I'm sorry if I made you-"
"No!" you clarify hastily, "it doesn't bother me".
He smiles unconsciously in relief.
"Well, me neither. I insist. If you change your mind" he's practically begging, despite his monotone tone.
But you don't.
The place closes and Logan is forced to get in the car. He lights a cigarette, in no hurry to return home. The lighter lights up while the diner's light goes off. You and your boss come out, biding each other goodbye. She leaves and you're is left alone, hugging your body in the early morning cold. 
He sees you wearing particular clothes, for the first time. He takes a slow drag on his cigarette, eyes running up and down your bare legs, the fragile fabric of the skirt fluttering in the wind. He exhales, watching as you dials your phone several times, getting no response, obviously frustrated.
He mutters something under his breath, and maybe there is a God after all. He starts the car, approaching her, who has already noticed it, probably because of the noise of the engine.
She looks scared, but Logan rolls down the window so she can see it's him.
"Need'a ride?"
Just by his reverberant sound you could accept. But you try to play cool for a while, despite your aching bones and need to get home.
"He doesn't answer" he was right, "my friend".
I know, he wishes to say, but he's the same hot headed asshole who walked through the doors of the X mansion for the first time, so his tone will be laced with irony. He doesn't want you to see him as an intense hot blooded mouth.
I could take you. His head pounds but he shuts the emotions down.
He shoves the knot on his throat down and asks as casually as possible, "do you live close?"
"Just around the corner" you answer. A beat, your frame bending so he can see your face from the driver's sit, the cleavage saying hello again. How considerate of you. "Do you really want to do this?"
Do you really want to do this?
The question rings on his ears. It holds more than just the favor. Logan knows they have a certain tension between them that he no longer wants to ignore. For the first time it seems to be reciprocated; palpable, and he is surprised to hear his heart beating loudly, so accustomed to hearing others' with his sharp senses, constantly forgetting what his own sounds like. Yours also beats erratically, despite your calm composure.
You arch an eyebrow, amused. "I can't believe you waited for me. Your family must be worried."
Logan realizes you're trying to test waters. So he raises his hand discreetly and places it on the door, so you can see the lack of a ring. As expected, your eyes travel to his free finger, and he can swear he sees you breathe with relief, which is funny, because in case you hadn't picked up until now, Logan is very much fucking alone.
"In case you changed your mind," he answers. "I have nowhere else to be."
That is enough of an invitation for you to get in the car.
"I was going to open that door for you" he protests.
You only laugh as you buckle the seatbelt. "It's not that big of a deal, really. You've already done enough for me by doing me the favor".
"It's not that big of a deal" he repeats your words, "as long as I'm of help, that's enough for me".
He smiles wistfully, remembering better times. A part of him still aspires to be that hero everyone loved and remembered, something that clearly doesn't happen anymore (or if it does, it's rare), given the lack of recognition of his former identity in El Paso. He shakes his head, focusing back on the street in front of him. It's too late to get fucking sentimental.
"I like to help too…" you confess, meekly. Logan sighs, how could he not know? "My father used to say that I had the kindest heart he'd ever met. I hope it stays that way, and that when he looks down on me, he's proud".
It hurts Logan to see you be so hard on yourself, as if he didn't do the same.
"I bet all the customers in the place would say you're the sweetest thing they've met", he sees you smile from the corner of his eye, and can't help but emulate it. "Believe me, you're their favorite".
"Thank you, Logan" you say sincerely. However, the affliction that he hates to see crosses your face. So gloomy that you don't even seem the same person.
You wipe away an unexpected tear, but Howlett is faster and notices. You turn around, looking towards the window. Then, you catch a glimpse of his license.
"So… you're a driver" you try to break the silence that Logan has put without knowing why. Maybe to give you some space after being sentimental and opening up again to this closed off wall name Logan, but he knows it's a lie. He's scared. After wanting so much to be closer to you, he cowers, not trusting himself and what he would do trapped in a small space with such an attractive woman. Besides, the tension from the previous conversation was still there.
"You judging me now, honey?" the pet name rolls off his tongue before he catches it. He tries to play it cool, continuing the banter, carrying the same tone. "The only thing necessary to make you trust me was to give you a free ride?
"I'm in your car, Logan. I got in without thinking" you laugh. "I believe that's enough trust"
"Then, I'll keep doing you favors. Maybe if I do…" he trails off.
Your voice drops an octave, provocative. "Maybe what?"
His knuckles grip the steering wheel until they turn white.
"Maybe…" he hesitates, "maybe…"
"It's here" you point out. Shit, Logan curses, braking abruptly without meaning to.
"See you tomorrow" you bid as a goodbye, getting out of the car. Logan misses your smell.
So he sticks his head out the window, like a begging dog.
"How about now?" he says a bit forcefully.
Your face shows surprise and something else.
"You're getting attached" you reply, and he doesn't know why there seems to be sadness in your voice.
"I just keep coming back for the coffee" he defends himself.
You laugh, shaking your head "Now, then. For the coffee, clearly."
"I can leave" he says. Yet, makes no move to leave.
You sigh, giving him one last look. Surrender, he reads.
"You're a driver, right?" he nods, taking in every word coming of your pink plush lips. "Then let's drive off. Anywhere" your voice trails off, and you're just so tired of everything, you'll just let go yourself with the flow. "I'll go wherever you go..."
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And this is how it ends.
When you wake up, it's almost dawn.
Logan had suggested you to sleep, claming the road where he was taking you to be long. He had covered you with his jacket, even if your body was burning from nerves.
Why had you agreed? Your mom would probably smack your head in search for some sense, and your reckless friends would encourage you to do it for the sake of a story. But something about Logan makes you feel safe, despite not knowing anything from him. It's sort of a sense of protection―like he would never hurt you, that envelops him. Everyone else would call you crazy; only you can understand that.
When your eyes adjust to the light, you realize you're in a line of cars.
"Did you bring me to the border?" you exclaim groggily, still in a sleepy voice.
"Good morning" he answers instead.
You rub yoou eyes, settling into the passenger seat.
"You're not going to kidnap me, right?" you question, half joking half serious.
Logan laughs, "Not only that. I'm also going to throw your body in a mass grave"
"It's not funny," you pout, although you're laughing too.
Once you've crossed the border, Logan drives a few more minutes, until he reaches a restricted area.
“I live here” he answers before you can ask, “saves rent and questions”
After opening the locks, you can better appreciate the place. Well, appreciate may not be the right word.
“It's an abandoned smelting plant” you voice out loud.
Logan just nods. You realize that he didn't like the comment, so you try not to talk about it anymore.
“Come” he gets out of the car, going to open your door. He offers you a hand, and you fail to hide your smile.
“You didn't miss this time, huh? Quite a gentleman” you praise. Then, add jokingly, “if you choose to kill me, at least I'll die taken care of".
“Stop talking nonsense and go inside” he scolds but smiles.
Inside, the abandoned plant is exactly what you expected.
"We're alone" Logan says, after leaving to check. He opens the door to his room, letting you in. There's not much inside, just a bed and scattered things. A yellowish light begins to filter through the broken glass. "I'mma change. Be right back".
You begin to explore your surroundings, to avoid thinking about the impact of the situation. Two things could happen: leave or stay. Maybe everything was going too fast, but you prided yourself on your spontaneity, often confused with impulsiveness. Others would say it was your naive nature: too innocent for your own good.
What had led you to accept without further ado? Was trust enough, that you had even fallen asleep in his car?
"S'rry for the wait"
You notice that Logan's gotten rid of his formal attire, leaving him in just slacks and an old white tank top. His muscles flex with every movement, making you swallow involuntarily. He still retains his extraordinary physique, despite his greying hair. She can't help but stare at the scars that cover his exposed skin, her fingers itching to trace them.
"Haven't they told ya' t's rude to stare?"
You look away, embarrassed. Logan walks over to the bed, bumping into you in the process, bodies barely touching. Still, an electric shock runs through you. You hug yourself, scared, aware of the effect he has on you.
"Logan" she dares to ask, "what are we doing?"
He finally looks at you. You feel naked under his intense gaze.
"What do you want us to do?"
His voice comes out low, like a growl. You stand in place stiff, unable to form a word.
"Come on, honey", the nickname comes out of his lips so easily, it hurts. "Are ya losing your voice now? Got into my car a while ago without thinkin', what's changed?"
You slowly approach Logan, each stride calculated. He watches you in silence, a silence as hostile as the wind hitting the broken windows, watching you remove your clothes, until all that's left is your bra and that skimpy skirt, as if you knew he liked it.
"Logan…" you whisper his name like a prayer, letting yourself fall on his legs. He holds you with his hard calloused fingers, like a promise.
Don't let me fall. Don't let me go. Don't leave me.
The habit of loneliness settles in between, and the flame they thought in deep slumber rekindles, burning with their long time unattended needs.
"Use your words, sweet thing" the trepidation condenses between, "we're grown up now, aren't we? Use your words"
If by words he meant feeling your lips against his, it's enough to have Logan following his impulses, using his strength to embrace your body until they feel like one, the scars on his hands feeling like your own. Your lips move in sync, and it's almost so casual, so learned, so meant to be, that fear appears in Logan, soon forgotten with the symphony of moans that come from your lips.
"Tell me" he pauses, breaking away from the kiss (something you don't like and express in the form of a pout), "what do you want?"
Logan tastes like cigars and whiskey, a combination you hate and the reason you quit your old job at the bar, but on his lips, it's an intoxicating taste.
"I want you, Logan" you whisper, hot breath against his skin, “you”.
He resumes the kiss, an electric shock of hunger and need between you: lips parted, colliding, teeth almost clashing against each other.
His fingers hesitate with a delicacy that belies his rough touch, the tips of his worn fingers lifting the fragile cloth of your skirt first, revealing soaking wet panties he goes crazy just at the sight of. The smell is sugary, sicklingly, so now he's hard and pulling at the clasp of your bra first, exposing your nipples, which he rolls and pinches mercilessly. A gasp escapes you—then another, and another as Logan pushes his thigh between your legs. The friction is delicious, almost painful against your pulsing center.
His hand firm up his position, securing itself onyour bare legs as you digs her nails into him. His labored moans turn into a guttural growl.
“You think I’m not capable?” he mocks, stealing another moan from her, “that I can’t keep up with you, you pretty young thing?”
You deny it, but Logan takes it upon himself to show you that he can take you like he's in heat, the ghost of his old self taking over in his almost animal way of fucking you, hips arched, muscles flexed and tense, his teeth appearing every time he opens his mouth, reminding you of fangs. They dig into your exposed skin, leaving bruises that will take time to disappear from your shoulders and neck, marking what belongs to him.
The hardness of his skin meets your soft when he grabs you by the waist.
"Look at you" it slips from his tongue, ecstatic. He's a goner, saliva dripping from the messy and sloppy kisses he leaves through your collarbone, "so good and so pure. I bet you're innocent, that you haven't seen what I've seen..."
His pupils darken, a strange mix between torment and desire in his gaze. Hungry and violent.
"Will you let me show you how's a real man s'ppossed to treat a woman?"
He feels shame settle in his belly, the hunger to possess her almost virgin body fueling his dark desire of errasing her sweet smile until she's an unintelligible mess of sobs. To show her what she would complain about, so she'll never slettle for less. So you can feel what it's to be taken care of―handled. And then he'll fill you up with his seed, so no other man will take what's his. His sweet little thing. Oh, he's so going to hell for this.
But maybe he likes pain.
"That's it, honey" he plays with the fabric of your wet panties, pulling at the loose threads in the delicate fabric. "Let me show you".
You take it off, and Logan lies back against the bed, spreading his legs and unbuttoning his belt and pants―a clear invitation to repeat the previous position, except this time, his hands are on top of your hips, squeezing the soft skin. He doesn't take his eyes off you, his gaze reserved only on you. If the adrenaline from before pushed you, now the confidence gained motions you to finish the task. It's just the push you need, remembering that this is what it feels like to be with a real man as you throw a leg over his hips, sitting your ass right on top of the bulge marked on his underwear.
“Right… there…” he barely manages to formulate a coherent train of words, the years of lack of help in attending to his needs leading to overstimulation, “good girl.”
The compliment makes you increase the pace of your hips, his labored breaths a sound so rich and so manly it makes you squirm.
You need it desperately, rubbing your increasingly wet clit against him, riding the fabric. His scruffy beard barely hides the smug smile that graces his lips.
“Like this?” she whispers, and Logan can no longer contain himself, staring at his sweaty, ripped body failing to please her completely. It feels so good it aches, and he can't believe this is how he's ended. But if that means having your pretty face on top of him, covered in his marks, dripping on your joint sweats, well maybe it isn't so bad.
“How can I repay you, honey?” he pleads. He'll try he's best. He just wants to give you a glimpse of the way his whole world has light up ever since he stumbled in that greasy diner.
“You said you were going to show me” it comes out almost as a purr, expectant, “and I’m waiting”.
Logan takes it as his cue, pulling down his underwear until his member is exposed, chuckling darkly when you swallow at the sight.
"Don't tell me you're scared already" he teases, "look how you have me… you can't leave me like this…"
You stifle a scream as you feel every inch of his thick cock enter your sensible walls, trying to fit his member inside of your needy body.
"So tight for me" he stammers, using his hands to keep you in place, on top of him. The only sound in the silence of that place that smells of death is that of their skin colliding―vulgar, the obscenity highlighted by being the only thing that can be heard in the small room.
Even though his stamina has dropped over the years, he thrusts into you relentlessly. Logan fucks you senseless, his balls buried deep in your dripping pussy, a constant rhythm of avid suction with each entry to your walls.
He takes a moment to see you as you take something from the nighstand he doesn't remember putting there.
"Look what I found" you whisper in the middle of your moans. Logan recognizes the shine of metal in front of his eyes, "so Wolverine?"
You say it so easily, like it's not the first time. With acceptance; it scares him.
Do you recognize him? Are you not scared? Why haven't your eyes go from curiosity and kindness to cold and rejection?
He should panic, rip off his dog tags from your hands and pretend he doesn't know who he used to be, but he's so deep inside you and so enraptured, he can only manage to gently take them from between your fingers and put them around your neck, the cold metal against your warm, bare skin creating an electric shock.
"I want to see them on you"
He likes to watch it hang over his face while you're on top, panting heavily as she repeats his name, slurring her words. It dangles with every thrust, the silver glistens in the seeping sun, just like the sweat that adorns her skin.
"Are you that needy of your old man? " he teases, caressing her. He smacks the curve of his ass, “You want more?”
His veiny length makes quick work of your needy hole, more moans escaping your lips.
“Shit,” you curse, wincing at the pain that begins to increase. “Yes, Logan. Just like that. Nobody ever treated me like that, nobody's made me feel like this-”
He moans, pleased with the praise, seeing he isn't as lacking as he thought. Making you feel good is his priority, but he won't lie and say he doesn't want to feel it too.
In an attempt to distract yourself, your eyes try to focus on him: searching his features, memorizing every scar, every wrinkle, every little grey hair.
“You’re perfect, Logan,” you mumble through a moan, the confession hiding more than you want to say and more than he cares to admit.
Before he can process it though, the fire in his stomach signals the arrival of his impending orgasm.
There's something delightful about the way you can barely speak, a mess of moans that sound like his name, eyes half-lidded and lips swollen alongside your messy hair.
He feels almost sick to be consuming something that doesn't and shouldn't belong to him. He doesn't deserve to have such a beautiful, young woman riding him while she clings to him like he's the last thing in this world, him: a worn, old man who can't keep up with her.
His member spasms, and it's got you feeling it all inside your walls, causing him to close his eyes in the process as well.
It's too soon, Logan thinks in shame, but it's been so long and you feels so good, he let's it go:
Thick whips of his cum shoot out of his member, drawing out more than you would've imagined. You don't have much time to think about it, for the orgasm hits you immediately, fingers curling and eyes rolling to the back of your skull.
Logan feels his tip getting wetter, and the extra lubrication is a nice finishing touch.
“God,” he gasps, “what a mess…”
You avoid looking at him, taking one of his hands in yours, kissing the red and violet painted knuckles. If you do, you'll give away what you feel, the same way her memory burns in Logan's chest, more now than ever, as his mouth tastes just like you.
Dependency.
Devotion. Absolute. Sick.
Maybe that was what he felt. This weird feeling. That abyss piercing his chest but never killing him (so much for regenerating...), pressing his heart with a crushing force whenever it threathened to beat again. Logan was content with rather nothing, always a man who didn't ask for much, and since the death of his family―the X-men, less.
"You should go" he mutters in defeat, the shame washing over. Even if he'll miss your warmth, even if he doesn't want you to leave at all. "It's for your own good, y/n. Pretend you don't know me and turn around. Go away" he insists yet gets stuck on his words, "you're not stupid. Then you'll know it's good for you and you'll never speak to me again"
He looks at the ground, cowardly, because he wants your lust filled warm look to be the last memory he remembers. Not whatever look you're giving him now.
So Logan closes his eyes and counts to ten. When he opens them, you'll be gone. It'll be a dream, something too good to be true. Short lived, like every good thing in his life.
"Logan..." you calls his name. So softly it seems like a breath.
You're still here.
"Logan" you call again, more firmly.
"Logan" you don't give up, cupping with one hand his face gently, "look at me".
When he looks up, he comes across a heartbreaking vision. You cry, tears falling like waterfalls down your cheeks. But that's not the most devastating thing, no: it's the look in your eyes, as if you've shared his pain. As if you've had suffered the same things he had suffered; a twisted reflection of him.
"Of course I understand you" you take his hands, and Logan feels that same strange warmth he felt the first time when your hands brushed his with the diner's menu. "I've also lost people… people I loved. Don't you think it hurts me to see the world go on as if nothing happened? Everyone forgets, Logan. But I can't; there's not a day that goes by when I don't think about them"
For a moment, you stop crying, and the hidden internal turmoil he tried so hard to decipher finally makes sense.
"I don't know what you've been through either, but I can promise you, that I understand you more than you think…" it seems like you'll say something else, but you stop and say instead. "Think, Lo: would these people want to see you like this?"
"It's what I deserve" he murmurs barely, his voice constipated but without shedding a single tear.
"It's not what we want, Logan. Please" you sniff, pained "stop being so hard on yourself".
"I'm not who you think I am" he insists. You're still naked on his bed, and he feels dirty for having you like this. For taking you to his home and fucking you raw out of your innocence. "I'm not a good person."
"No, Logan" you seem hurt by that statement. You trace one of his most recent scars with a touch so compassionate, that he feels your fingertips burn, "you are a hero".
Your words were so sweet, so comforting. He wanted to sink into your lap, which smelled like flowers and tasted like safety. A home; a life that had been taken from him. He wanted to believe everything you said―feel who you believed he was. Not this pathetic, tired and apathetic version of himself, but the old version: the version that inspired respect, that despite his tough exterior, had a family he loved. Because he had a heart. Now he feels like he has no soul: no purpose, nothing.
But maybe you are the answer.
Before he can change his mind, you blurt out “can I stay?”
That morning, in that old bed that creaks under his weight, Logan discovers that feeling alive again isn't so bad.
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thomaswaynewolf · 2 years ago
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rabbitcruiser · 2 years ago
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Syncline Loop Trailhead/Dome Road, Canyonlands National Park
Drought escapers cannot tolerate dehydration. Plant species escape drought by going dormant when favorable growing conditions disappear. These plants are usually annuals, growing only when enough water is available. Seeds produced under good conditions can lie dormant for years if conditions are not favorable for germination.
Some winged insects, amphibians, and invertebrates breed in potholes but cannot tolerate dehydration (e.g. mosquitoes, adult tadpole and fairy shrimp, spadefoot toads). In some cases, adults live in permanent water sources or on land and travel to temporary pools to mate and lay eggs. If the pool dries out before the young mature, they die, so survival is a race against time.
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jasmines-library · 2 months ago
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Could u pls do a Winchester sister fic like (season 10 ep. 15) but instead of the parasite going into cole it goes into the sister and Dean tries to shock it out like in the episode but then she almost dies and they have to try and find another way
The Things They Carried
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⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
Word Count: 2284 (wow look at me go)
Warnings: Uhhh not sure how to phrase it. Overall gore, kinda throwing up?
⛧ SPN MASTERLIST ⛧
⛤⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
The woman had vanished without a trace. Well, at least at first. Her body was found strung upside down in the storage room of a remote part of the city Feyetteville, North Carolina. Perhaps one of the most perplexing parts of the victims disappearance, was that not only was she an Army Private, trained in Krav Maga and Jiu-Jitsu, but her organs had been drained, along with the bone marrow sucked out of her body. This is what had caught Dean’s attention. He now sat in front of you and Sam, the article pulled up on his ipad.
Sam raised his eyebrows, his forehead wrinkling as he studied the article once more before handing it off to you. “So…cannibalism. You thinking a Rugaru?”
“Or a God. Maybe.” Dean agreed. A second later he was up on his feet, ready to go. Sam tried to protest. Ever since Dean got the mark of Cain Sam has been solely focused on trying to find a way to remove it. He was constantly on edge and you had to admit you were too. It seemed that no amount of research seemed to give enough answers on the mark. Eventually, with a look from his older brother and a defeated sigh, Sam let up and not even 10 minutes later, the three of you were speeding down the road.
Much to your disappointment, when you arrived in the city the first thing the three of you were told was that the local police had closed the case. However, they had given you a name, and the incriminating evidence. The sheriff; an elderly man, perhaps late 60s with white, thinning hair, had also told you that the offender had also committed suicide before the feds could lock him up. He also told you that this was the third suicide the city had seen in the last 6 months. A pattern. This was definitely something supernatural, if that wasn’t already clear. However, when Sam asked about the body, the sheriff informed the three of you that there were no bite marks, and that the victim had been killed with a bowie knife. That ruled out a Rugaru, leaving your trail dry.
The next step of the hunt was to speak to Beth, the offender's widow. She was rather distraught as she bounced her baby softly in her arms. When she glanced away from it, you could see the pain in her eyes; the dark circles that rim them. 
“Rick was a kind soul.” She insisted sadly, glancing down at the floor. The way she spoke of her late husband was filled with awe, but woven thick was pain that choked up her voice. You could tell that she still hadn’t processed her husband’s recent change in personality. 
“Did you ever notice anything strange?” Sam asked gently, his fingers clasped together as he leaned against the countertop. “Violent mood swings?”
“Weird smells?” You added.
“No….” The woman frowned. “But Rick was- he was-” she stuttered, unable to word what she wanted to say correctly, almost as if she didn’t really believe it or understand it herself. “He was thirsty.”
You tilted your head at her, her words catching your interest. “Thirsty for what?”
Her answer surprised you. “Water. He’d spend half the day drinking from the garden hose. And then, when I told him to stop it was like he couldn’t even hear me. And his skin; it got so dry it bled.”
Your older brothers watched intently. “Did he see a doctor?” Dean questioned gruffly.
The poor woman shook her head. There were now soft tears rolling down her face, mingling with the ghosts of the ones there before. “He just got put on a list to be put on a list. And then he stopped talking. He just wasn't himself–” she sniffled, shifting her baby in her arms. “I thought….maybe it was just PTSD.”
No one said anything for a moment before you broke the silence tenderly. “We’re very sorry.”
“You said that Rick had been recently deployed.” Dean said. “Do you have any idea where?”
“No.” She answered rather bluntly. “That stuff’s classified. They don’t even let the wives in on it.”
And the trail runs cold again. 
But then, just as you were about to leave and Sam left your number, Beth stopped you again. 
“There’s one other thing.” she added. “I ran into my friend Jemma at the supermarket. She’s married to Kit Verson. A guy from Rick’s team. She thinks Kit came back different this time. Kind of felt like we were dealing with the same thing.”
The trail picks up again.
After a little while running around after Kit Verson, discovering that he murdered someone else the same way that his friend did, the three of you ended up in an old shack that his wife believed he might have fled to. It was dark. Eerily so. However not as eerie as the trail of dead mice on the floor. Machetties in hand and guns in holsters, the three of your crept through the darkness of the hut. You found him hunched over in the back room of the house. His breathing was rough and ragged as though he might have run a mile at top speed. When you reached out to touch his shoulder, his head whipped around, bloodshot eyes boring into you. His mouth and face was splattered with blood and dirt, and his movements were erratic as he stood up to face you. He gripped you tight, cold fingers like icicles against your skin as he pushed you back against the wall. And then his eyes were pleading with you. The harsh crease between his eyebrows softened for just a moment as he used his body weight to keep you pinned up against the wood panelling. 
“I’m sorry,” he grunted out, wrestling with you to keep you in his grasp. “I can’t stop.”
And then, you were on the floor, dirty ground rising to meet you fast as he made you lose your footing. And then, as you struggled beneath him he made this awful gagging noise as the creature slithered out of his throat and forced its way into you. You coughed, gagging yourself as your brothers rushed into the room. They were on Kit in seconds, but he was strong, throwing your brothers around before dashing out of the door. Quick on his feet, Dean followed, leaving you staggering for breath on the floor with Sam.
“Are you alright?!” Sam asked, alarmed as he rushed to your side, helping you up off the floor.
You coughed. “Some-something’s inside of me–” a grimace spread across your face as you felt it move. “It’s alive–”
“It what?” Sam blinked. “What did it look like? Do you know what it was?”
“Khan worm.” Dean answered, catching on to the end of the conversation. “At Least i think it is. Why? Did you see it?”
You groaned in pain, so Sam answered for you. “It crawled inside her.”
Dean froze, his eyes going wide. “What?”
Sam nodded grimly. 
“Did you see what it was? Dean asked worriedly. 
You coughed, hands flying to your mouth. “Khan worm.”
“Shit.” Dean cursed aloud, running his hands through his hair. 
“We have two options.” You said, trying to hide the grimace on your face as you felt the worm moving, ,crawling under your skin. Neither of the two options were very pleasant at all. You and your brothers had worked a case with Khan worms a few years ago and there were two ways that you discovered the worms could be killed. And while these worms seemed slightly different to the first ones you discovered, you figured that they were similar enough that the same rules would apply. The first option was probably the most forward one, but it also involved certain death; a headshot to the infected person that would cause the worm to flee the body where it would then be crushed by Sam or Dean. Option one was very clearly off the table. The second was far more painful, but it also harboured greater chances of survival. 
Dean began to protest immediately. “No. No no. there’s got to be another way.” 
“You know we dont-”
“Kid….” Sam started. 
“Just do it. We have no other choice.”
Dean sighed, turning away and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright.”
~
Dean had managed to find two batteries hidden in the small cabin. He placed them grimly on the table with a thud before connecting two of the jump wires that Sam had gone and collected from Baby’s trunk. You were sitting in the armchair, fingers gripping the leather as you waited anxiously. Sam tried to give you some comforting words, but you weren’t sure who he was trying to comfort more; you or himself. 
“Alright.” Dean said, his voice laced thick with an anxiousness and guilt he was yet to shake. He brought the cables over to you as you took a deep breath, placing a wooden spoon between your mouth to keep you from biting through your tongue. 
Settling back in the chair, you took a moment to collect yourself. To prepare for the agony you were about to put yourself through. And then, you gave him a brief nod 
The sudden pain when Dean pressed the jump cables to your skin was overwhelming. Unbearable. A million agonies all combined to one as the electricity raced through your veins. You screamed, crying out as your teeth bit down on the wood of the spoon, which helped to muffle the sound. Both of your brothers winced at the sound of your agony as you twisted and writhed. Sam had to look away and Dean had to force himself to keep the cables against your skin though he yearned to take away your pain. But nothing happened. As soon as your brother removed the cables, you were panting for breath, trying to recover quickly from the pain. You couldn’t help but notice the looks on your brother’s faces.
“Anything?”
Sam shook his head dismally. The parasite was still in you. 
“Go again.”
Dean startled. “What? Are you crazy?”
“Go again.” You strained. 
Dean collected himself, and then; the same pain. But still as you writhed. Fists clenching and nails digging into your palms the worm remained inside you. And your brothers were growing increasingly concerned. Your movements began to slow as you grew quieter and your eyes fluttered, drooping with a sudden heaviness. Dean pulled the cables away immediately and you slumped back against the chair. Your head lolled forwards against your chest and your breathing was concerningly slow and laboured. 
“Okay….okay…” Sam said gently, slipping an arm behind your back to help support you.You whimpered slightly at the movement. “ Shh. You’re alright sweetheart.” he glanced up at Dean, fear and worry evident in the creases on his forehead. They would have to find a different way to get the worm out.
~
You were sweating. Gods….you’d never been hotter. Your body still ached as you sat in the armchair of the cabin. The old leather was flaking off and was practically covered in a sheen of your own sweat. Sam and Dean had pushed it towards the fire, leaving you to sweat against the heat. They had figured that as the parasite needed water, if they could make you sweat it all out…then the creature would leave. But now you were practically slumped in a chair, dark veins crawling up your neck as you tried to rid the worm from your body. You coughed a little, your throat dry, with no way to soothe it. Thirst…..that was the only thing that consumed your mind…you were so. damn. thirsty. Your body craved it. Anything you could get you would take….even your own brothers’ blood. The parasite yearned for something. You could feel it, squirming around inside you. Uncomfortable, you whined before coughing a little, doubling over on yourself. 
Sam placed a hand on your shoulder. “Hang in there, Sweetheart. You have to sweat it out.”
“Can’t–” You coughed. 
“Yes you can.” Dean shut you down quickly. “You can’t give up. Winchesters don’t quit.”
Reluctantly, you nodded. Your head spun. You felt sick. But you knew you couldn’t give up. You were in for a long waiting game. 
It wasn’t until a few hours later, when you were on the verge of breaking down that you began to feel it slithering up your throat. You gagged, coughing as you tried to expel the creature from your body. 
Sam and Dean were by your side in seconds, both trying to coax you through it, ready to stomp on the worm as soon as it made an appearance. Sure enough you managed to cough it up uncomfortably. It splattered on the floor, squealing as it writhed and trying to slither off to infect someone else. It didn’t make it far before Dean slammed a heavy boot over it. And once more for good measure. It squelched under his shoe, peeling off from it as it stuck to the floor. He grimaced at the sight before moving to crouch beside you, checking on you.
You wiped the string of saliva from your mouth with a grimace before gratefully taking the water bottle Sam offered you and wasting no time before drinking it to quench your impossible thirst.
“That's it. Easy, Sweetheart.” Dean cooed. “It’s over now.”
“You did it, kiddo.” Sam said, guiding you to lean back in the chair more. “We knew you could do it. We’re proud of you.”
(A bit of a rubbish ending! I'm sorry i wasn't sure what to do)
⛤⋅•⋅∙∘☽⛧☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⛤
SPN TAGS:
@xxrougefangxx @hell-o-kittys @inlovewhithafairytale @harleycao @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @rosecentury
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woso-dreamzzz · 1 year ago
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Pet Problems IV
Alexia Putellas x Reader
Summary: The first two kittens go off to a new home
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The drive to Eli's house was uncharacteristically quiet.
Usually, Alexia had the radio on or the aux cord but today it was completely silent. She took several steadying breaths as she pulled onto her mother's street.
She parked but didn't get out.
You reached over the gear shift and gently threaded your hand with hers, intertwining your fingers. "Are you okay, Ale?" You asked softly.
She glanced into the backseat, where the cat carrier was waiting.
"I'm fine."
"Don't lie." You squeezed her hand. "It's okay if you're not alright."
She didn't look at you, staring across the road at her mother's house. "They're very little. They could still get hurt."
"Your mother won't let them get hurt," You reminded her," They're more than old enough to leave - probably a little overdue to leave, actually."
"Kiara might miss them." Her argument sounded weak even in her own ears.
"Be honest, baby," You replied," You'll miss them...But it's okay. They're not too far away. I'm sure your mother would let us visit whenever we wanted."
Alexia pouted, blinking tears from her eyes before finally unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of the car.
It was a short walk from the car to Eli's house and soon, the doorbell was rung.
Eli, as always, welcomed the pair of you inside.
She hugged you both but it was clear that her attention was elsewhere when Alexia finally relinquished custody of the cat carrier.
It was placed on the floor of the living room, the front unzipped carefully.
A ginger and white mottled head popped out of the opening, followed immediately by another one.
"Oh, hello, babies," Eli cooed softly, reaching out a hand to gently stroke over one of the kittens' ears," Aren't you two all big and strong?"
The second kitten mewed its disapproval at not being touched, meandering closer and rubbing its cheek over Eli's arm.
"They've had all their shots," Alexia offered up weakly, very clearly not as put together as she wanted you to think she was," And they're very playful. Well socialised too."
"Ale," You said softly, reaching out to hold her waist," Eli knows. You told her on the phone yesterday."
Alexia nodded once as her throat bobbed.
She looked away, tears misting in her eyes.
"We should probably get going," You said after an hour or two of supervised kitten play," It's getting late and we've still got kittens at home to feed."
Eli nodded, scooping you up into a hug. "Thank you, chica," She said warmly," I'm sure I'll see you both back here soon." She gave you a pointed look as you both turned to look at Alexia, who had scooped the kittens into her arms and was whispering something to them - looking like she was about to burst into tears at any moment.
"Yeah," You said," I'm sure we'll be back too."
●~●~●~●~
Somehow, Alexia managed to not break down in the car. You knew it was coming though.
You knew it in the way that she drove - white knuckled clutch on the wheel.
You knew it in the way that she walked - the slight hesitation in her steps.
You knew it in the way that her hands shook so much that she dropped the keys and you had to unlock the front door.
As soon as she was in the safety of your home, she broke down in sobs, eyes red-rimmed and broken noises coming from her mouth.
"Shh, shh, it's okay, Ale," You said, guiding her to the sofa and into your arms, lying back and softly shushing her.
She buried her head in your chest and openly sobbed.
Nala hopped up onto the sofa, squirming her way into Alexia's arms and licking her nose whenever Ale looked at her. Kiara, unbothered from where she sat across the room, mewed at you insistently until you invited her over - allowing the cat to sit on the armrest behind your head.
Marie joined the three of you as well - ever curious and happy to be involved. She curled up in the crook of Alexia's knees and began to kneed Ale's legs.
The other kittens tumbled around on the floor of the lounge - pouncing and playing with each other. You could see Alexia staring at them, biting her lip to stop herself from breaking down and sobbing again.
"It's alright, Ale," You repeated," Your Mama's gonna take care of those two. We can visit whenever you need. We can even take Marie to visit them, if you want."
Alexia wiped her tears away with the back of her hand, chin still wobbling as she looked up at you. "Promise?"
"I promise."
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agustdiv1ne · 1 year ago
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❦°。9:51 p.m. (m) — choi soobin
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genre: dark content, mdni!!! ageless blogs dni!!!! serial killer!soobin, fem!potential victim!reader, thriller, light smսt
wc: 3.5k
warnings: talks of murder (but none actually occur), slight coercion, oral (m receiving), drugging, violence, weapons, blood, general insanity....
this fic contains dark content. please heed all warnings above and read at your own discretion.
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soobin’s favorite color is red. 
he’s quite obsessed with it, really. his favorite shirt is a maroon button-up, his phone case has crimson details…he tries to look for it everywhere when he’s out and about, he surrounds himself with it at home. his favorite time of year is when the humid summer fades into mild autumn, as the change in seasons brings with it ruby leaves and dying trees — oh, death. in addition to the fiery shade, soobin finds himself enamored with eternal rest. it’s just oh so freeing, an end of a cycle, a path to purity. there is nothing more pure than the act of shedding the mortal skin to find a higher meaning — to be reborn. 
soobin likes helping people be reborn just as much as he likes the color red. 
but only people he finds worthy: the innocent ones, the ones who have placed too much trust in a world that is wrought with cruelty and had their hearts ripped out in the process. those are the ones who need saving, he thinks, and he finds great happiness, an overwhelming sense of pride, in being the one who can save them. it’s fate that brings him into these people’s lives, after all. something has chosen him to guide these people towards a greater path, to help the weak and downtrodden, the ones looking for betterment. there is no doubt in his mind that would cause him to think otherwise.
he adores helping people, but he wishes that they were just a bit more sympathetic to his cause. it’s not as if he enjoys hurting them, but his methods are the only way that any of this can be accomplished. no matter how much he tries to explain, they always scream and cry and beg to be let go, they always try to run away even if they’re bound…they don’t understand that all he wants to do is take them to a better place, yet they make it so difficult for him to be nice, to keep his composure. they always make him resort to extremes — but at the same time, he can't be too disappointed when they struggle. 
blood is unequivocally beautiful to him, after all.
the city has faded into darkness since he’s begun unwinding from the work week. soobin’s office job provides him with little joy and nothing to look forward to, so he often spends his nights taking walks about the city. sometimes, he’s looking for something, someone; and sometimes, he simply allows the cool air to soothe him, wandering without a particular goal in mind, just living. breathing. being. 
tonight, however, the former rings true. it’s been too long since he’s last aided a stranger. his previous succor occurred over three months ago, and the empty, unfulfilled feeling within his chest has chipped away at flesh and bone until nothing but a gaping cavern remains. it’s time to fill that aching void up again. he loves people, he loves helping them. it’s the only thing in his life that makes him feel truly alive. doing this is as vital as his need to breathe, to eat.
as he continues to stroll along the fog-shrouded road, he eventually spots his next potential project: you’re stumbling along the sidewalk in front of him, sobs ripping themselves from your throat so loud that he can hear them despite the significant distance separating himself from you. dressed in a creamy white coat and light wash jeans, you look like an angel from behind. he wonders what your face looks like, fresh with tears and red-rimmed eyes. where are you headed at this hour — alone, no less? more importantly, what’s gotten you so worked up? do you need his help? evidently, you might. it wouldn’t hurt to check on you.
quickening his pace, his long legs begin to close the distance between you and him. despite his intentionally loud footfalls, you do not seem to acknowledge his presence behind you as he approaches. you should be more careful; you never know who could take advantage of your vulnerable state, although he is grateful that he is the one to find you. he has only your best interests in mind, unlike the rest of the selfish population of this city. you don’t turn around even when he’s finally a mere few feet away, so lost in your own little world that its real counterpart has all but fallen away. 
“miss?” he calls, deep voice ringing out into the chilled air. an air of friendly concern is apparent in his timbre, and it’s not a lie. he really is concerned for you. “are you okay?”
your entire form jolts, feet coming to a halt as you spin around to face him — and oh, you poor thing. streaks of watered down mascara mar your cheeks, eyes round and bloodshot and glinting with tears beneath the streetlight above. your hands come up to wipe under your eyes in a weak attempt of hiding your current emotional state. evidently, it fails, gray spreading further across your face as he blinks at you, wrinkles forming between his brows while he waits for a response.
“i’m— i’m fine, thank you.” while your words are meant to placate his worry, your quiet, warbly tone is less than convincing. he decides not to pry too hard — you look halfway ready to flee as it is — instead opting to remain in place as he drinks you in. indeed, you look like an angel. even with your puffy eyes and kicked puppy expression, he finds you lovely, your voice soft and delicate like wind chimes. the overwhelming urge to wrap you in his arms, to keep you safe from the world, flashes through his body. he pushes the feeling away. he can’t scare you away if he wants to learn more about your situation, whether or not you are worthwhile. 
“are you sure?” he gently asks. for a second, your eyes blink up at him, less guarded now. soobin is well acquainted with his effect on women, the softness he holds in his voice and gaze, the openness of his features that must scream trust me. he can tell that he’s got you when you toy with your bottom lip for a moment, gaze trailing off towards the side of the side as you decide to continue this conversation with him. you easily could have walked away, or even told him to leave you alone, but you don’t. you don’t, and he feels his heart pound in excitement because of it.
staring down at his shoes, you murmur, “yeah, it’s just— it’s stupid, actually, nevermind.”
“well, it surely can’t be that stupid if it made you cry.” and your upset mask cracks just the slightest bit. so pretty. so, so pretty. your smile causes every single nerve ending in his body to tingle. a smile forms on his own face, and something in the air between you changes in that moment. a mutual understanding that you won’t be explaining the reason behind your tears right now, but some company would be nice. 
a convenience store lies maybe twenty feet up in the road, and he falls into step with you once you ask if he’d like to grab something to eat there. he quickly learns that you prefer the veggie triangle kimbap over any other flavor and that you have a borderline strange obsession with banana milk, but he still hasn’t learned your name. as you continue talking, the realization eats at him. he likes you, he thinks that you’re sweet and kind — too kind for this world. you deserve better. if he continues to get close to you, maybe you’ll be understanding enough to accept what he’s trying to do here. soobin can be quite patient, after all, and you seem more than worth his time. however, his first step in this plan is to learn your name. 
leaning against the counter next to him, you beat him to the punch. “i never got your name.”
fuck, your voice sings so prettily in his ears, and you look so shy, so demure just asking that. how sweet you are. all he wants to do is wrap you up and protect you, hold you close and shield you from everything terrible. instead, he swallows down a mouthful of ramen and gives you a charming smile. “soobin. choi soobin.”
“that’s a nice name,” you say, innocent eyes peering up at him. the redness has receded to the edges of your scleras, the puffiness of your face slightly calmed down. he’s made you feel better, but he knows he can eliminate all sorrow from your life, if you’ll allow him to.
“i’m sure yours is prettier,” he says, voice trailing off at the end. with a playful roll your eyes, you provide your own, and his grin grows wider. “ah, i was right.”
the flustered press of your lips is enough to tell him that his plan is working so far. your naivety is endearing to him. it makes everything easier — even better, when he asks to walk you home after citing potential danger, you accept without a single hint of doubt, eyes wide as you comment that you hadn’t thought of that. so sweet, so trusting. no one else will be able to hurt you now that he has set his sights on you.
“would you…like to come in?” you ask as soon as you reach your building, shyness returning in full force. hope drips from each word, your fingers nervously fidgeting at your sides. he can’t help but accept your offer. he’d honestly be a fool not to.
your apartment is a modest one-bedroom with a small living room, a living room in which he finds himself in as you busy yourself in the kitchen. trying not to stare too hard at your form over the small island that separates the two rooms, he busies himself with picking at a loose thread on the couch. for some reason, nerves eat at his stomach, festering there like a swarm of wasps. he’s never had someone invite him into their home so early on. this is new, different — he’s not sure what to do with himself. 
“could i offer you some water? or tea?” you call. he swivels his head to find you looking at him while waving a teapot in the air. the moment you realize what you are doing, you drop your arm, your free hand coming up to scratch your cheek. 
holding back a chuckle, he offers a kind nod. “tea sounds wonderful, thank you.”
this seems like the correct choice, if your wide grin is anything to go by. would you look the same if he tells you what he plans with you? would you understand? he’s not sure yet, but he will learn with time. so far, you’re his favorite, even if he’s known you for less than an hour. you are the closest to being untainted. perhaps it’s a selfish desire, but keeping you around for a bit longer than the others wouldn’t be so bad. he ponders if he should just take you with him now just as he did with all the others. he’s got a packet of pills in his trouser pocket waiting to be used, it would almost be too easy to slip one into your drink given your acute lack of awareness. at the same time, he has learned from his past mistakes; patience will bring his plan to fruition. this is just the beginning.
a mug of tea appears before his eyes, and he swallows down a flinch before he’s reaching out to take it from you. your fingers just barely brush against his, nearly making him drop the mug. your skin — it’s soft, warm. he wants to feel it more, have his palms run over every one of your curves, feel your chest against his as he takes you…he swats those thoughts away as he shifts uncomfortably. 
silence fills the space between you, a blanket over his head meant to suffocate him. he takes a sip of the steaming hot tea, a dark, cloudy amber in a pompompurin mug that just seems so you. the tea itself blooms sweet on his tongue, notes of honey and lavender coating his taste buds, his muscles relaxing into the couch as he continues to sip the liquid, eventually downing the rest. he glances over to find that you have shrunk into yourself, sock-clad feet curled up onto the couch while your hands grip your own mug close your chest. 
“i’m going to go to the bathroom, i’ll be right back,” you say suddenly, placing your mug on the coffee table before scurrying off. the bathroom door slams shut, the lock clicking immediately after, leaving him alone. he stares at your mug. the item taunts him. come on, put something in there. mix it up and take you now. 
he shouldn’t. he should be patient, but the opportunity is right here for him to take. you’ll be understanding once he explains everything to you. you’ll be different from the others. 
so he slips a pill from his pocket and drops it into your mug, watching the capsule dissolve into the transparent liquid. the slight change in color and opacity doesn’t worry him — it’s not as if your perception is that acute. when the sound of your approaching footsteps forces him back to his side of the couch, his heart begins to pound against his ribcage so hard that he fears it may burst. keep it together. you won’t notice. 
instead of plopping onto your original seat, you make the bold decision to sit down right next to him, facing him. biting your lip, your eyes flit to the floor, then back to him. an invisible magnet pulls you closer. once mere millimeters separate your faces, he pauses, staring down at the way your chest stutters, so close to his own. he should stop this — he just met you, but the way you trust him so easily is doing things to him that he’s never felt before. this twisting feeling in his stomach…it’s so sweet, and you’re just so cute. he wants to protect you. he wants to use you. 
it’s unclear who commits first, but his lips are pressed against yours. softness is the first thing that he registers, then the uncertainty that freezes you against him. a hand moves up to cup your jaw, holding you close to him as he moves his lips gently against your own. slowly, you begin to reciprocate, lips parting to allow his tongue to slip into your mouth. slow, soft...it’s everything soobin has wished for in his lonely life. this kind of connection, this gentle intimacy that is now filling that empty hole in his heart that has always yearned to be filled. he has kissed others before, yes, but he’s never felt like this.
the feeling is quickly becoming too much for him, especially now that your hands are sliding their way towards his waistband. pulling away, he grabs your hands, holding them as holds your gaze. “you don’t have to. i know we just met—”
“but i want to,” you pout, wide, pitiful gaze burning through his as you slip off the couch and onto the wooden floor, your hands leaving his to rest on his thighs. “don’t you want it too?”
he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t, but the sight of you on your knees between his thighs with a cute little pout gracing your lips makes him wonder what you would look like with his cock shoved down your throat, tears streaming down your face as you choke on him. 
pawing at his thighs, you plead, “please, soobin? you helped me feel better, i want to make you feel good too. please?” 
you might just start crying if he doesn’t let you — and he would hate to be the reason why, so he gives in with a nod, helping you unzip his trousers and shove his boxers down his thighs, revealing his hard dick to your eager eyes. your hand looks so small compared to him, barely able to wrap around his girth as you begin to pump him, lips wrapping around his cockhead and your tongue slipping into his slit to taste the salty precum gathered there. he groans, head thrown back against the couch as he resists thrusting up into your mouth. 
“so good, fuck,” he groans, his voice trailing off into a moan as the pleasure begins to build, your hums against his cock sending him straight towards euphoria. suddenly, your head lurches forward, taking as much of him into your mouth as you can, your hand pumping what you are unable to fit. his eyes roll back into his head, staccato moans leaving his lips while you bob your head up and down, your throat contracting around his cockhead before you’re pulling yourself off with a cough. 
he tries to move his hand to caress your hair, to give you some semblance of comfort, only to realize that he can’t. his arms won’t move, nor will his head, or his legs — or anything. wait, what the fuck? what’s going on with him? all he can do is sit there and watch as you continue to pump him faster, licking up his precum at his tip until he cums in weak spurts into your mouth. he can’t even cant his hips, and he can barely feel his orgasm wash over him, numbness spreading across his body. humming, your eyes flutter shut as you swallow his release. when you look up at him again, the glint within them has changed. darker, cunning. 
“i know your secret.”
when he doesn’t respond — his mouth won’t move — your smile grows sharp, predatory. moving to stand between his legs, you lean down to his level, brow raising when his attempt to speak results in unintelligible groans. “aw, cat got your tongue? that’s fine, makes all of this easier for me.”
all of this? what the hell are you talking about? why can’t he move? 
you seem to recognize the confusion swirling in his umber irises, booping his nose with a manicured finger before you’re turning around and reaching for your mug. inspecting it’s contents, you take in the cloudy liquid before your focus returns back to him, amusement apparent in your tone. “you tried to drug me! that’s so cute!”
setting the mug back down, you slink back over to him. 
“y’know, soobin, i thought you’d be smarter than this,” you pout, sitting next to him and throwing your legs over his lap. no matter how much he wills himself to move, he’s frozen. all feeling has left his body, not even the sensation of your nail gliding along his cheek registers. “drank all that tea and didn’t even notice, you poor thing. can’t speak, can’t move, whatever are you going to do now? can’t kill me like the rest of them now…”
oh, fuck. you know — you’ve known this entire time. you’ve lured him into your trap, and he fucking fell for all of it, didn’t even question why you invited him in so easily, why you weren’t worried about a complete, potentially dangerous stranger being in your home. he couldn’t have planned for this outcome if he tried. 
“you got too cocky, baby,” you giggle, right hand reaching between your legs and into the cushions, coming up with a large knife. “never thought someone like me would pull a stunt like this, did ya? isn’t it exciting being the victim for once? i just love the thrill.”
“and you know what else i like, binnie?” you coo, tracing the silver blade against his jawline. muscles melted into the couch, soobin can only emit fearful grunts as you dig in and break skin. blood bubbles up to the surface of the wound before spilling down his neck. fuck, you cut him deep, but he can barely feel the pain.
a snap of your fingers guides his attention back to you. “i love red, just like you.”
swiping a finger through the blood dripping down his neck, you bring it up to your lips and suck, moaning at the iron-rich taste. you’re the farthest thing from the innocent lamb he painted you as. you’re fucking psychotic, pupils dilated and grin so wide your lips may split at the corners as you climb into his lap, knife now pressed against his throat. he’s completely at your mercy — your prey. cornered, nowhere to go.
“i think we’re gonna have lots of fun together,” you coo, pressing a venom-laced kiss against his lips, the bloody blade cutting into him once more. “don’t you think so too?”
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© to agustdiv1ne. do not copy, repost, steal, and/or translate.
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monayen · 8 months ago
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"Ku-Ku." | Randal Ivory
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➷ Paring - Randal Ivory x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]
➷ CWs - Noncon, Master/Pet play, cunnilingus, fingering, slight bloodplay, unsafe sex, pain
a/n - randal brainrot, i adore this lil freak :3 first fic on this blog btw !! requests open (check my pinned) also ignore any mistakes
Luther Von Ivory scans his options presented to him, there are many animals, but he's looking for something specific. A human. He actually didn't know what his brother preferred in humans, but he's sure Randal wouldn't question Luther’s wonderful taste.
The employee gets to you, “She just came in.” He sees you kick around in the cage you were in, “Let me out! I’m not an animal!” Luther sticks a long finger through the bars of your enclosure. He winces when he feels you chomp down on it, quickly drawing it back.
“Are you sure this isn't a dog? I much prefer cats if that's the case.”
“She's a full blooded human! Trust me, found her hitchhiking on the side of the road myself.”
“Hm, okay then. I’ll take her.” Luther’s lucky he kept a sedative in his car. You’ll get trained later.
Randal basically squeals when he sees you, immediately pulling you out of the box and into his arms. For however drugged up you were, you could make out what they were saying perfectly.
He shook you, “Brother, you really didn't!”
“I did. Isn't she pretty?”
“Yeah! I like the way her eyes droop, the drool is a great touch too.”
“That's not permanent, Randal.”
“Oh.” He pauses, “Well, her name is (Y/N).” You can barely mumble as you make out blurry beady eyes staring at you through thick rimmed glasses, “I want…to go… h…home.”
A bizarre giggle escaped his lips, ku ku? “Don't be silly, you are home now.”
You decided to just sleep.
Soon, you had to wake up. And when you do, you see you’ve been put in a frilly, black dress. It’s short sleeved with a white bow on the v-neckline, lace detailing follow the curve of your waist. You notice matching thigh-high black socks on you as well, though you didn't have on any shoes.
You are sober enough to note the room. Posters hang on the wall, all odd anime things, along with creepy dolls littering around that stare. It then hits you that you are sitting in a cushioned coffin.
Holy shit. This is some freak shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Before you can fully get up, the door slams open. “You’re awake!” It's the boy, Randal. You scream and jump back, falling back onto carpeted floor. Suddenly, he’s on top of you.
“Nyon reeeaaaallllyyyy got you in some cute clothes! You look like a doll! Very lifelike.” He seems to hum out the words as he straddles your hands to the side of your head.
“I want to go home! Let me go home!” You thrash beneath him, but he's freakishly strong for someone so lanky. His grip tightens on your wrists. “Nuh-uh. We bought you. Legally, you are mine.”
He keeps that toothy smile on his face, “Anyways, you were on the side of the road. You really didn't have a family, did you?” Randal laughs his weird laugh again while you stare at him with wide eyes, “Exactly what I thought!”
He doesn't loosen his grip as he brings his mouth down to lick your ear. You clamp up, “Don't… don't do that.” It comes out meekly, and though Randal isn't that intimidating in size, you feel dwarfed.
“Ah, I can train you however I want. I’m your master, remember?” Randal’s breath feels hot on the side of you before he licks you again, this time on your neck. “How about you say it? Say that I’m your master.”
You choke on a sob you didn't realize you were holding in as he murmurs into your ear, “Hey, listen to me.” Randal’s noticeably becoming more aggravated, his gloved nails are digging into your wrists now. He still keeps that terrible smile on his face.
With burning skin, you whisper, “You're… you’re my master…” Randal twists your wrists, “Louder for me.”
You cave in, “You're my master!” Finally, the pressure on your wrists is gone. He laughs again, moving one hand down to your waist while the other rests on your thigh. “Ku-ku, I like that!”
He fiddles with the side of your dress, slowly hiking it up to where your thighs and panties are fully exposed for him, the red on his face deepens. “You really are so so pretty! Soft, like a human pillow, so soft. I just wanna eat you.” He breathes heavily, “I just might.”
There's something prodding at the fabric on your thigh, he pulls them apart without much hesitation. “Please, don't.” Again, it’s quiet. He coos at your small plea, “Pets have to listen. Now, lift your ass.”
Finally, you're exposed to him. The dress is discarded next to you, along with your underwear. You want to curl up, hide, cover, anything. You can't. His grasp is too firm, and truthfully, you are scared. He doesn’t care to hurt you. He sees you as a pet, his human. That is your biggest flaw
Gloved fingers find your cunt, prodding at your entrance. Randal fiddles with the fly of his pants, pulling himself out. He strokes himself lazily, eyes glued to the sight of his fingers sinking into your pretty pussy. A small moan forces it way out of you, he has long fingers– like his brother. Soon, he’s knuckle deep, face inches from your slick heat.
“Hah, you're dripping!” You can't bare to look at him, head tilted in the air as you huff at the good
feeling. You aren't prepared when he suddenly sticks his tongue between your thighs. Oh. That gets a long moan out of you, “Nooo–”
Randal smirks, savoring your taste as he sloppily laps his tongue around his fingers and against your cunt. He can't help himself but jerk off his aching cock, getting off to your noises. He’s tasting you, but he wants more.
It feels like hours, but it's probably only been a few minutes that he’s been eating you out. It's creditably sloppy, drool drips down between you and you know he isn't great at it– but the eagerness makes a knot build in your abdomen. A loud moan mixes with your pleas when that knot snaps. You let go a pitched breath when he finally separates his tongue and fingers from you, moving to hover atop of you.
“I was right, you taste amazing.” He’s catching his breath, grabbing his cock as he aligns it between you, “You’ll feel amazing.” You want to beg but you know he wouldn't listen, why would you? You're just a pet. A pet he can do whatever to.
He rubs against you, teasing his tip at your entrance. “You want it? You want me to fuck you?” The shade on his face is heavy, his glasses are foggy but you can still see the glint of lust behind them, staring right at you. He grabs your face to look at him, “Say it. Tell your master you want it.” Again, he digs his nails into your puffy cheeks.
“Please– please master…” He roughly ruts against you, the side of his length rubs against your clit as he groans, “Fuck yeah!” Randal pitches, loud moans pull out of him, grabbing your clothed legs and angling them to rest on his shoulders, finally sinking his whole length into you.
You swear you see blood drip from his nose when he forces himself in, but you can't focus on it, he’s already moving in and out.
God, he's loud. Louder than you even, he can't keep himself together, clearly in bliss with his mouth hanging open slightly. “Ooooh– perfect, perfect pet!” Randal folds you, positioning roughly. He's trying to reach the deepest parts of you, he isn't concerned how your legs sting at the stretch. He's too focused on the way your tits bounce up and down, hypnotizing him to go deeper, faster.
You really are perfect, tight and wet around him. He wants to keep staring into your big, teary, eyes. It all aches him to get closer to you. He wants to fully consume you. For him to become a part of you. No, scratch that. You become a part of him.
“Hah, hah, you make your master feel soooo good.” He licks your tears, making you attempt to pull slightly from him, but he doesn't allow that to happen. Instead, he makes sure to fold you more, knees pressed against your chest in a way that makes you even tighter around him.
He’s speeding up, babbling about how good you feel. You feel like you can't even get a breath in now, it's hard to expand your lungs with your legs and Randal’s weight so close to your chest. Red blood drips onto your face and you look to see the pure lust Randal has spread across his face. You want to reach and wipe the blood so badly, feeling how it drips so closely to your mouth. Randal beats you to it first, gripping your face again and wiping his blood around with his thumb.
He laughs, smearing it across your face. Then, he tightens his grip again, his blood covered thumb rests on your quivering bottom lip, “Open up, doll.” You grit your teeth, trying to turn but his grasp locks you in place. “Ah, you should listen to your master.” You relent. “Good girl, ku-ku. I know you bite– don’t even try.” Then, he sticks his whole thumb in your mouth, rubbing it on the back of your tongue to make sure you taste the iron. You want to gag and bite, but you know you can't.
Randal finally draws his gloved thumb from your mouth, his blood replaced with your saliva. “Fuck– you feel so good, you me to come outside or inside? You– ah, tell me.” He’s twitching inside you, and quickly you shake your head, “No–”
“Kidding, I'm coming inside!”
Your stomach turns, and you hate the knot in your abdomen that makes you tighten around him, helping him come undone inside of you. He’s pumping white before you can even refuse, snapping his hips against you so hard you're sure you might bruise.
It's hard to tell how long it's been when Randal finally pulls out of you. You feel him drip down your sore legs, dampening your thigh-high socks. He eventually gets off on top of you as you both catch your breath. You lay on the carpet, a sticky and full sensation swallows you whole.
Randal has the nerve to snuggle next to you, wrapping his arms around your bare waist and burying his face into your neck. The smallest sob gets stuck in your throat, there isn't any way to get out of this, is there?
“Sh, just go to sleep. You have more training later.” Ku-ku.
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