#white chocolate is good but since it isn’t my favorite I’m letting myself experiment

[byjove]

two lobes of the white chocolate Terry’s Chocolate Orange melted and stirred into a latte. try it. you will not regret it.

[itsallyscorner]

Ik someone else already asked for like a delivery part (and honestly, that would be amazing. Like imagine the girls reacting to Baby Mix casually dropping it in their chat). But, also imagine Tom and Y/N haven’t released anything to the public and Perrie (my loose-lipped queen) let’s it spill over a virtual interview or something, how chaotic would that be????

Anyway, I truly loved your Baby Mix stories. You’re combining two of my favourite things so effortlessly. Thank you💜💜💜

Hello my love! So sorry for the long wait, I hope you don’t mind! Thank you for requesting this and being so patient with me❤️ I’m so glad you’re enjoying the Little Mix reader! stories🥰 I haven’t written a delivery part yet but I already had an idea of how I wanted to write this so...here ya go! Happy reading🤎����

💌.

Meet Aunty Pez

She would be the best aunty in the world, ugh🥺 Also I’m so sorry I haven’t been active, school has been keeping me busy, but hopefully it’ll ease up soon! Sending all my love to all of you💞

At 3:14am, on an early Monday morning, the bundle of joy that you and Tom have been waiting nine months for has finally arrived. After hours of enduring pain and labor, Amelia May Holland was born. Weighing at 7.5 lbs, she had the same bright chocolate colored eyes as her father, gorgeous brown hair, a mix of your and Tom’s nose, and thankfully she inherited your lips. She was a precious little thing, always cradled in the arms of either of her parents, since they both couldn’t believe she was finally in the real world with them.

The sun casted soft rays of light into the hospital room you and your little family occupied. The warm light added to the peaceful atmosphere you were all currently in. You were sat against the hospital bed, cradling Amelia in your arms, while you and Tom stared at her in fascination. You lean your head against Tom’s shoulder, eyes never leaving your baby girl, who’s nose momentarily scrunched up.

Softly chuckling, you glance at Tom, “Not even a day old and she’s already doing a habit of yours.” The gentle smile grows even wider on Tom’s lips, a sense of pride rushing through his veins.

“Well she’s definitely her father’s daughter.” He hums, his arm around your shoulder pulls you flush against his chest. Tom hides his face in the crook of your neck, placing feather light kisses onto your skin trailing down to your shoulder, where he rests his chin.

“I can’t believe we made her. Isn’t she the most gorgeous baby in the world?” He speaks in a hushed voice, cautious of startling his newborn daughter awake. He gazes at Amelia with a fond expression on his face, large fingers gingerly reaching out to softly stroke the back of his baby’s hand. She’s only been here a few hours and she’s already wrapped him around her dainty little fingers. He would go to extreme measures to do anything for her and to make sure she lived the best life she can. She was to be treated like a princess in his eyes; because she was his princess and you’ve been bumped up to be his queen.

“She’s all we’ve ever wanted.” You turn to face Tom over your shoulder. The whole morning, ever since you gave birth, the two of you spent most of the time admiring Amelia and would burst into tears at how proud you were of each other. Not only had you both just made the most precious baby in the world, but this was a new chapter in your lives. A new experience of life with a stronger bond, full of love, and years of memories that’ll be looked back on in the future.

Tom shifts his gaze to you, the look in his eyes changing to adoration. He tenderly kisses your lips, repeating the actions a few more times before speaking. “Thank you so much for this. Thank you for being an amazing wife and giving me a family. I love you so, so, so, so, much. You have no idea.” He brushes his nose against yours, shutting his eyes, to savor the meaningful moment.

“I wouldn’t be doing this with anyone else but you. You’re gonna be such an amazing dad.” You beam at him. Tom softly chuckles, leaning his forehead against your temple, “God, I hope.”

“You will, you’ll be the best one in her eyes. I already know it.” You reassure him, pecking the corner of his mouth. You turn your attention back to Amelia, who was still sleeping peacefully in your arms.

“So when should we tell everyone?” Tom asks, resting his chin on your shoulder again. You lean the back of your head against his shoulder, making yourself comfortable in his arms.

“I think we should tell our family and friends first. I’m not ready to share her to the public yet, I want her to only be ours for now.” You quietly explain. You feel Tom smile against your skin.

“Of course, darling. Whatever you’re most comfortable with, that’s what we’ll go with.”

(Y/n)🌻: sent a photo

We thought Amelia might want to pop in and say hello to her favorite aunties for the first time!❤️

Perrie🦋: oh my goodness! Congratulations🥳🥳 I’m over the moon for the both of you!!

Oh she’s precious! Look at those cheeks!! I can’t wait to meet her🥺

Jade💜: OMG WE SHARE THE SAME NAME!!

I’m so happy for you and Tom!! You guys are going to be the most amazing parents in the world!❤️

Leigh-Anne😻: Baby Amelia, you are the most adorable baby I’ve ever seen!!!😍 Babe, you and Tom have some really good genes👀

Congrats you two!! I’m so proud of you both❤️❤️❤️

Jesy💖: Thank god Amelia got (y/n)’s genes for her lips!!😂😂 I can’t imagine another loose-lipped Holland!

I’m so happy for you guys!! I can’t believe you’re already a mum, darling🥺 We love you so much and can’t wait to see you and Baby Amelia❤️

(Y/n)🌻: You guys🥺🥺 I can’t wait to see you all and get out of this hospital! This bed isn’t doing anything for my back😭

Perrie🦋: You must be so exhausted lovey, how are you doing? I hope everything went well during delivery!

(Y/n)🌻: Very painful, I felt like I was about to pass out omg😭 The doctor kept on telling me to push, I didn’t know if I was shitting myself or pushing the baby out😭

Tom’s been amazing the entire time. Bless him, I think I broke his hand while I was pushing :(

Jesy💖: Omg!! What was Tom’s reaction to childbirth?!!

(Y/n)🌻: If you thought he couldn’t get even paler, you thought wrong! He was as white as the walls in the room😭😭 He was a good sport through it all though!

Also, Amelia’s crying. I’ve got to go, I’ll talk to you girls soon!! And good luck with the interview today, you guys are gonna smash it xx

Perrie🦋: Don’t worry about us! You’re officially on maternity leave now! We’ll send your regards for the interviewer❤️

Leigh-Anne😻: Look at our baby mama! We love you❤️❤️❤️

Jade💜: Say hello to baby Amelia and that Aunty Jade loves her🥰

Jesy💖: ^Kiss ass, she’s not even a day old and the competition for best Aunty has already begun smh.

Bye darling, we’ll catch up with you soon❤️

You smiled at your screen before turning it off and placing it onto the table beside your bed. Tom was pacing the room, cradling Amelia against his chest. He was gently rocking her back and forth, alternating from shushing her to humming some sort of tune underneath his breath. You sat back and admired the curly headed boy that’s claimed your heart. Not only was he the love of your life but he was also the father of your child. Sure you guys were young, both in your late 20s, but the daddy role definitely fit Tom perfectly.

Tom must’ve felt your stare because he turned around and sent you a tired smile. He walked towards your bed and motioned for you to lay down. Using one had to cradle Amelia, he used the other to help you get comfy in the hospital bed. Still with one hand, he fixed your hair on the pillow so that it was away from your face. His large calloused hand cradled your jaw, “Get some sleep, darling. I know how tired you are.”

You pouted at him, “But what about Amelia?” He shook his head, his thumb stroking your cheek, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll try and get her to sleep. You just close your pretty eyes and get some rest in.”

“What if she’s hungry?”

“If she doesn’t fall asleep, then I’ll wake you up. Just please get some sleep, love. You haven’t taken a proper nap since this morning and I know you’re already close to knocking out.” He reasoned with pleading eyes. You sigh finally giving in, lazily nodding in response. Tom beams at you and leans down to place a tender kiss onto your lips.

“I love you both.” You mumble against his lips. He pecks your lips once more, “And we love you too, mummy.” The moment you closed your eyes, you were out like a light.

You managed to take a nap for about half an hour until you felt a few pats on your shoulder. You were immediately awake, turning your head to look for Amelia. You looked at the hospital bassinet, where you could see her sleeping peacefully.

“What’s wrong?” You ask Tom. He was sat beside your bed with his phone held in his hand watching something.

“I’m so sorry for waking you, but you should see this.” He apologized with a pitiful smile. He scoots closer to the bed so you can look at the screen. Your brows furrow together in question as you stare at Tom; it was the girls’ interview.

“Just watch.”

“Hello ladies! Thank you for joining me today!” The interviewer started. A round of “hellos” and waves were seen on the recorded Zoom session.

“Thank you for having us!” Leigh-Anne said.

“Yeah, it’s always a pleasure to be on your show, Zach.” Jade gushed. Zach made a show of flattery making them all laugh.

“I mean I guess I should start by asking how are all of you?”

Jesy was the first to answer, “I’d say we’re all doing pretty good, aren’t we girls? You know—just trying to get by especially with all that’s going on in the world.”

Perrie agreed, “Yeah, we’re lucky enough to be healthy and have the privilege to work. So I’d say we’re very blessed and making the best out of situation.”

“That’s great for you girls. AND speaking of making the best of the situation, thank you for giving us entertainment! I’ve been watching The Search and I’m absolutely obsessed.” Zach began, complimenting the show. He continued, “Although I did notice, that there’s only four of you at the moment, and in the show. How is it like to not have (y/n) around?”

Jesy pouted, the other girls having familiar reactions at the lack of your presence.

“As much as we miss her, it’s best for her and the baby to stay home and away from the public. When it comes to your career or family; family comes first, so it was totally understandable.” Jesy explained.

Jade chirped in, “Well, she’s not completely missing out. She’s had a few virtual appearances on the show and we’ve all been in contact, we always know what she’s up to.”

“How’s she doing? With the baby preparations and all?” Zach asked the girls. Their faces immediately brightened with joy, especially Perrie how squealed and clapped her hands in delight.

“Oh she’s doing wonderful, we were just texting her! She’s officially on maternity leave!” Perrie cheered. On the screen, Jesy eyed Perrie warily.

“Officially on maternity leave?”

Perrie smiled widely, “Yes, she is! She sent us a photo of the baby in our group chat and my goodness! Their baby is so cute, I just want to pinch her little cheeks!”

The three other girls’ eyes widened at the things coming out of Perrie’s mouth too stunned to say anything.

Zach squinted at Perrie, “Wait she’s already had the baby?”

“PERRIE!”

“Yeah, today actually.” The blonde answered proudly.

“PERRIE SHUT UP!”

“STOP TALKING!”

Perrie stopped, looking at the three girls offendedly, “What?”

“Oh my god, she did not.” Leigh-Anne facepalmed herself. Jade’s jaw was slack and Jesy’s eyes were wide with horror.

“Babe, do you know what you just did?” Jesy questioned Perrie, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose in stress.

You paused the video, taking in what just happened.

Tom eyed you carefully, “Your phone’s been blowing up consistently. Pez even called me to apologize, she feels really bad (y/n).”

You frowned knowing that Perrie was most likely upset at herself. You’ve been friends with Perrie for years now. It was common knowledge amongst you and the girls that if something big and secretive were to happen, you were to never tell Perrie. Not that you all wanted to leave her out on propose, she just didn’t know how to keep her mouth shut. When Perrie found things that made her happy or excited, she didn’t know how to contain her happiness. So it wasn’t completely a surprise to learn she’s told the world you and Tom were finally parents.

Tom noticed that you were still quiet, “Are you mad, darling?”

You shook your head, “No—no, I’m not mad at her. I know Perrie can get too excited sometimes.”

“So you’re okay with this?” Tom asked you, knowing that just an hour ago you said you wanted to keep Amelia away from the public. His hand reaches for yours, grasping it.

You tilted your head at the ceiling, “Yeah, I guess I am? I mean it’s not like she said Amelia’s name or anything. All she told them was that I gave birth already.” You paused and turned to look at Tom.

“Plus, I think she’s saved us the trouble of figuring out how to tell the world about Amelia.” You send him a smile. He reciprocates the action and brings your hand up to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “We don’t have to tell them anything more. All they have to know is that you’ve given birth and our little princess is healthy. Also that we’re very happy. The rest of the details will only be for us. For now.”

“For now.” You confirmed squeezing his hand. You glanced at your phone and motioned for Tom to give it to you. Scrolling through your contacts you clicked on Perrie’s name, “I guess we should call her and thank her.”

You clicked on the FaceTime icon and not even a second later, Perrie immediately answered the call.

“I am so sorry.” She apologized, hand covering her face. You chuckle at her and shake your head, “We’re actually calling you to thank you Pez.”

Her face contorts into confusion, “What do you mean thank me? I just exposed the two of you during a live interview.”

Tom poked his head into frame, “Well one, you’ve announced that Amelia’s here already, so that’s one thing off our list. And two, you just saved me months worth of relief during interviews. Now that everyone knows we have a baby, I don’t need to be scared of accidentally slipping it out when I have to do promos!”

The blonde looked between both you and Tom I’m disbelief, “Are you kidding me? If I knew you two would’ve responded this way I wouldn’t have been spending the last hour beating myself up for it.”

You laughed smiling at her. Perrie beamed at the both of you, “For just delivering a baby, you look gorgeous hun. You’re glowing.”

“Aw thank you, lovey.” You look at Amelia from the corner of your eye. “Do you wanna see her?” Perrie eagerly nods at the camera. Tom takes the camera and rounds your bed to the bassinet. Aiming the camera above Amelia he said, “Amelia, meet Aunty Pez.”

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[shark-el]

Onion soup:

A firend of mine asked me for my Onion soup recipe. I was just gana send it to her plain simple and boring. But then I thought of a better way to waist my time that I should probably be spending doing work or researching for projects and thing. But I decided this was a lot more fun!

My idea was to be one of those annoying food blogs that tell their whole life story in an absolutely overly exaggerated fashion! One to make fun of blogs that do this, and tow because it's fun and why the hell not?!

So the idea for this started back when I was first starting out cooking and every single blog I found had a 1000 word essay about the origin of sed food. I found it extremely irritating because why do I did to know that this person's great uncle's best friends grandma's dog died in a fire in order to make this recipe?! So I would scroll down all the way to get to the actual recipe but the story just kept on going! Like about how her great great great grandfather's colleague from work had spills tea on his novel, a passion project that he had worked so hard for. I still had no idea how this was relevant at all to the spring rolls I was planning on making? And after an eternity of scrolling fingers tired and eyes full of tears I finally got to the recipe.

You'd think after all that back story and the amount I had learned about the person writing this like the fact that her great grandmother's favorite color was tangerine but specifically tangerine, and not orange because her childhood best friend had lent her a sweater that exact color and the next day she had never returned. That sweater has become a family heirloom that has been passed down ever since. Or the fact that she had avocado toast on Tuesday three years ago on may 18th at exactly 3:26 pm. Needless to say I knew a lot about this person and their family tree. It really helped me get the care and feeling I needed for my spring rolls. So that is why I'm going to be overly pretentious and do the same thing to you so have fun.

I was born at a very young age, in the evening on a hot August day. I don't remember much from this time in my life but my parents told me that I was miserable until I could do things for myself. After that I was a force to be reckoned with, nothing could stop me! There was one time when I was about 6 months old my parents had left me on the table thinking I couldn't get far, keeping an eye on me every once in a while but not paying much attention. The second I was put down I saw something gleaming in the corner of my eye, it was a delicious looking chocolate brownie. Nothing could stop me I was going to get that brownie no matter what! so I slowly started scooching my tiny baby body to the delicious looking dessert moving as fast as my little arms could take me. It had been 10 minutes of struggling from one end of the table to the other. I had finally made it! I was so close my hand was mere centimeters away from the prize. It was gonna be mine all mine! But then suddenly out of nowhere my dad's arms came and picked me up taking me away from my long awaited dessert. needless to say I was furious but I still never got that specific brownie (I've had other brownies don't get me wrong, it's just I never had that one. And at this point I don't think I'd want to since it's several years past it's expansion date).

That was my first experience with real food which might have been a core memory if I actually remembered it. Sadly this happened before i could remember it, but i'd like to think that it was the beginning of my love for food.

Over the years I started cooking it started off as learning how to make eggs and mac and cheese but then over the years I started to make more complex dishes, some worked and some didn't. Now I know that most people would rather be informed about the times that somebody failed rather than the time someone succeeded, they stand out more I guess and if you're actually sitting down to read this then I will reward you with some of my biggest cooking fails.

First off anything that involves baking, for instance there was one time I was going to bake a chocolate cake for a bake sale and well... so what happened was, I learned that I can't follow a recipe for the life of me! You may ask why I'm writing this recipe if I probably won't follow it anyway, but it's more a list of ingredients than a actual recipe. Anyway back to the story so my first mistake was I ended up putting in a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon so normally this would be fine it would have just been a little bit salty, but problem was I had another mistake, I ended up putting in a tablespoon of mint extract instead of a teaspoon of vanilla extract as well, so the resulting cake was less cake tasting and more of the toothpaste variety. ( For some reason my brother loved it. He took about a handfuls. I would not recommend it with a glass of orange juice).

Another baking story, I was trying to make chicken pot pie, and filling itself is cooking. I can do that, throwing things in a pot, easy! It works! But do not, I repeat do not! leave me alone with a pie crust. my dad and I frantically tried to roll out said pie crust and not rip it, we were flailing around confused as to how dough worked. It took us about half an hour to roll out the pie crust so it would rip adds little as possible. After that day we came to a conclusion never to leave us with the job of baking ever again!

The next cooking fail I have is finally about the soup recipe. You see the first time I tried making onion soup it didn't go very well... Let me explain what happened. I was really in the mood for a nice warm onion soup and I figured you just throw some onions in a pot with some white wine and water and let it sit. Problem was we didn't have any wine, and I was too young to go to the grocery store to buy some, so instead I decided to use grape juice. Never but I mean never cook an absurd amount of grape juice, the heated aroma smelt excruciatingly unappetizing and I would not recommend it on anyone. So the resulting soup was watered down hot grape juice and stir-fried onions. needless to say it did not taste good and smelled even worse. I told myself that would be the last time I'd ever make onion soup! Years have past and and I was really in the mood for onion soup again even after that disaster, so I decided to try once again. this time with no grape juice! I looked through multiple recipes some had more ingredients than others and ended up combining a lot of them together to make my own onion soup recipe the one you see before you. And though I was scared that I'd mess it up I decided that I just really wanted some onion soup so I made it and it turned out delicious. Look at that a happy ending isn't that just great?!

I'd be surprised if you actually read through all of this if you did a good job,if you didn't then you're probably not going to read this sentence but I don't blame you it's all good who actually reads these backstories to recipes anyway?

Anyway I think I've mumbled on long enough here is the actual recipe for this soup:

5-6 onions

7-8 cups of chicken/ onion stock ( cold be parve from show mixes)

3 cloves of garlic (probably more)

1/4 cups of soy sauce

1/3 cups of white wine (optional)

4 tablespoons of oil (2-3 at the beginning and then 1-2 in middle of caramelization)

4 tablespoons of flower

1 teaspoon sugar (helps with caramelization)

Salt (to taste)

Pepper ( to taste but approx 1/8-1/4 of a teaspoon)

Instructions:

1) caramelize onions:

On medium heat Cook the onions, stirring often, until they have softened, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Increase the heat to medium high. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil (or butter depending on) and cook, stirring often, until the onions start to brown, about 15 more minutes.

Then sprinkle with sugar (to help with the caramelization) and 1 teaspoon of salt and continue to cook until the onions are well browned, about 10 to 15 more minutes.

Add garlic

2) Add Flour until mixed and quickly ( so it doesn't burn) add Add wine and soy sauce and once mixed well and incorporated

3)Add stock slowly, then add bay leaves and black pepper and salt (if needed, you can always add it later).

Bring to a summer and leve on low heat for 30 mins.

And now you officially scrolled too far, this is the point in a recipe blog where they add a bunch of links to all the recipes made by their friends families and anything else that comes to mind. Most people looking for the recipe would scroll all the way to the end trying to find it in this mess of words and unnecessary backstory told in an excruciatingly painful amount of detail. Then realize they've scrolled too far, sigh and start scrolling up again, this time a little slower.

It normally also has recommendations of foods that would go well with it, in the case of this onion soup I would recommend eating it with some garlic bread or grilled cheese sandwiches, basically all comfort foods that would spark Joy anytime you eat them.

If you're looking for aesthetic you can try making a bread bowl, cover it with cheese and broil it, which would have a whole other recipe linked in somewhere, with more details about how their great uncle's best firends associate made this same recipe for the pince of some country. But as I mentioned beforehand, I for one am not a baker and bread is most definitely a baking job. Not only is bread one of the more complex foods to bake, even if you put every ingredient precisely as the recipe mentions them, it still won't turn out right! Because ether the atmospheric pressure has changed very slightly, or the wind isn't blowing in the correct direction. Bread making is hard and I have a lot of respect for people who can do it correctly.

If you've read through all of this, damn that's dedication thank you and I applaud thee. I hope you enjoyed, and were amused.

[purplesurveys]

1273

What was the longest time you’ve had the hiccups for?  Maybe for half an hour? Mine are never that bad.

What type of TV shows are your favourite?  Not a big TV show type of person to begin with since it seems as if my attention span wasn’t built for once-a-week, season-breaks kind of content haha. I do like sitcoms, I guess...bite-sized ones like Friends, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Big Bang Theory, etc. Drama shows I’d bite into if the plot is extremely intriguing to me or relevant to my interests, like The Crown or Breaking Bad.

Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything?  I was before then I wasn’t for a very long time, then I came back just recently with this BTS shit I got myself into.

Do you know anyone who has died in battle?  Hmm. I don’t think so. My great-grandpa lived a few more decades after the war.

When was the last time you went on an adventure?  July. My friends and I spent the whole day driving around and stopping by sooo many spots around the metro. It was a lot of fun and we were fucking b e a t after.

What brand is your vacuum cleaner?  I dunno. My mom mainly uses ours.

Are you good at rapping?  I have a number of songs and verses memorized that I can recite quite okay, but I can’t write any of my own.

Name one world issue that upsets you.  Racism.

How do you feel about tanning?  I never saw the the big deal. I will say tanning beds and salons are such a culture shock to me, though. Are some people really that obsessed with modifying their skin tone?

Have you ever given a public speech? Hmm, just the one time I was entered into a public speaking competition and was given a topic to talk about on the spot. That was honestly a lot of fun and I wish there were more opportunities to do that exact same thing.

Do you read comic books?  No. I tried getting into that whole thing, but didn’t see the appeal.

Do you force your way into conversations in which you are not involved?  Not always but if I’m starting to feel left out or awkward, I will start to ask a question here and there to ease my way into the conversation. But if the topic is clearly none of my business then I do stay out of the way.

Kiss with your eyes open or closed?  Closed.

Do you believe you can change someone?  This isn’t a black and white matter, I think. The idea of changing a person can have a lot of layers; in my org, for instance, I got to pick up a few quirks and behaviors from my friends just by being around them for a long time – in that sense, I changed. But you can also strive to change someone who’s struggling and try to make them become happy, which I tried to do with my ex – which of course I learned the hard way that you can’t change someone if in that context.

How did you react when your first pet died?  I was bummed out but didn’t throw a fit.

Have you ever drawn anime?  No.

Can you use a pogo stick?  I’ve never even seen one in real life. I’m dying to try it out just once.

When’s the next time you’ll see the person that you like?  I don’t like anybodyyy.

Do you like bathing/showering?  I mean...yes? Like I’m not obsessed with showering, but it’s a necessity that I have to regularly do anyway lmao.

Have you ever considered entering a race?  Sure! Just give me a couple of weeks to practice because my endurance and stamina are embarrassing.

Rihanna or Lady Gaga?  Rihanna.

Who was your first good kiss with?  My ex.

What accessory do you want in your bedroom?  SHELVES

What do you take the most pictures of?  My experiences.

What are you always in the mood for?  Starbuuuuuuckssssssss.

What is something that you never turn down?  A day out with friends. I’ll always make time. What is something that you always turn down when offered?  Food, if I’m a guest at someone else’s place.

Name something sexy about your significant other.  I don’t have any.

What is one of your hobbies that you refuse to give up?  Surveys, I guess. I enjoy them too much and have been doing them for nearly a decade.

If you could be a professional in any sport what would it be?  Tennis.

If you could be a professional at any instrument what would it be?  PIANO.

Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician?  Surgeon. I would be too terrified seeing dead people, anyway.

Have you ever been on a subway? Nope.

Are you in love?  No.

Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing?  Sure. Softly, roughly...both are fine hahaha.

Do you want to get married when you’re older?  I hope so. I want my turn, too.

What was the last band shirt you wore?  Eh, I don’t own any. I wore a fanmade V-themed shirt yesterday, if that counts.

You can have a milkshake right now. What flavor do you choose?  OMGGGG that sounds so fucking good rn. Chocolate chip cookie dough.

Have you ever given someone flowers?  Mhm, I used to give my ex bouquets whenever it was our anniversary.

What day of the week is usually your busiest day?  Monday like 98% of the time, so I hate them. It ultimately varies, though. Sometimes some days are a hell of a lot more hectic than others.

Do you have any concerts coming up? I mean...obviously not.

Do you like or hate the smell of fish?  Oh yessssssss. The smell of seafood/ocean always makes me fucking drool.

What’s your favorite brand of chips?  Pringles, or this local brand of salted egg chips that I love to get.

Have you ever written a poem and then read it aloud?  Yeah, once. We had to write a poem as our homework and my teacher picked out a couple that he thought were the best-written, and one of them was mine even though I still firmly believe I did a shit job.

Do you like pineapple?  Oh god no. One of the worse fruits I’ve had.

Does your house have a dishwasher?  No. It seems to be just a Western thing.

Do you know anyone who has a flower tattoo?  I probably do, but I just can’t give you a lineup of names. Flower tattoos seem to be trendy these days, especially in the line style.

How many different languages can you say goodbye in?  So I have goodbye, paalam, 안녕히 가세요, adios, auf wiedersehen, sayonara, au revoir...so that’s 7.

Agree or disagree: You like Adam Sandler movies.  Ummmm definitely childish and I can feel that the humor tries so hard sometimes but I do enjoy some of his movies, like 50 First Dates. 

Have you ever had to get a tooth pulled? If so, what for?  Yeah, I mentioned this on a previous survey.

Have you ever dated anyone while they were in jail?  No, I’ve never dated anyone who’s been imprisoned.

If you’ve ever babysat, do you like it?  I ‘babysat,’ but technically all eldest Asian daughters are expected to look out for their younger siblings and cousins anyway. I didn’t actively enjoy it, but sure, it was fun playing with them and it’s always nice to be viewed as responsible.

What is your favorite flavor on sunflower seeds?  I don’t eat sunflower seeds. I don’t dislike them, I just really never seek them out.

Do you get cold easily?  Yes.

Do you get a lot of spiders in your house?  Hmm no. If we do get visited they are almost always too small to be seen.

Do you admire nature?  Yeah, I try to be around it as often as I can.

Name one naughty thing you’ve done.  Had sex while a few people were in the same room. I pay for it now hahaha; those friends who had the misfortune to be in that situation have never let me live it down and it’s one of their go-to stories when I’m being introduced to new friends.

Name two of your favorite things as a child.  I loved everything Bratz. I also liked Play-Doh.

Do you own a Pillow Pet?  No, I’ve never even heard of that.

Do you tend to solve problems with violence?  Never.

Have either of your parents gone to jail?  Nope.

Do you know a hoarder?  I heard my grandma had been one, but I didn’t see traces of it when I used to visit her. I guess she had been when she was younger and stronger. I show traces of hoarding too, but I don’t think it’s at a concerning level; I literally just threw out a bunch of shit in my room I’ve hoarded over the last five or so years.

Do you wax, pluck, or leave your eyebrows?  I don’t touch them; I’m never all that worried about my appearance. On very rare instances, I will shave some of the excess hair off. Do you have any interesting scar stories?  None of them are interesting tbh, just results of my own stupidity.

Do you hate the texture of meatballs?  I don’t hate their texture but I also just don’t enjoy meatballs in general. I find them boring, which has always led me to think if they’re really supposed to be just boring clumps of meat or if I’ve just always been served average meatballs.

Do you get migraines? Yes, I usually get one after work. They’ve decreased in frequency now but one will drop by every now and then to give me a shit time.

Do you like guns?  No.

Are turtles amazing creatures? All animals are. :') < Yes! Except cockroaches.

How much time do you spend taking surveys?  I dedicate an hour or so every weekend. I often wish I can allot more time, but I also have other hobbies and interests I would usually want to catch up on during the weekends. 48 hours is just too short :(

Would you rather visit: The Eiffel Tower or Egyptian Pyramids? Pyramids, in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t even need to think about it.

Would you like to work at a candy shop?  Uh no. If I had to, it would be on the back-end, maybe in the corporate side of things lol.

Do you have feelings for someone?  Nope.

Which one of your guy friends is the best looking?  JM.

Do you have anything to say to your ex bf/gf?  No.

Which band do you have the most of on your iPod/music player?  I don’t use music players anymore but my Spotify always reminds me of how much I listen to BTS whenever they do one of their quirky listening habit reports lol.

Which song describes your mood at the moment?  I want to go with RM’s Bicycle just because I’m feeling quite content and relaxed at the moment.

Which movie(s) do you quote the most?  Eh, I’m not a big movie quoter.

Which one of your best friend’s friends would you most likely date?  I honestly don’t see any of them as date-able.

Would you ever let anybody else drive your car?  Sure. I’ve let Hans and Gab drive it countless times when I’ve had too much to drink. It’s a small car and is fairly easy to use and navigate. I would let Anj use it too at some point, but I want her to perfect her u-turns first hahahaha.

Which one of your friends will be the most successful?  It’s already one of my friends to begin with but I’m not naming names. They come from a privileged background to begin with and their godfather already handed one of his companies down to them, so. They were also told the CEO position is already a sure slot for them.

What store did you last shop at?  I wanna say NCAT, this Korean-themed store that sells trinkets and jewelries and plushies and stuff. They also sell BTS albums so Anj and I dropped by to check out and touch all the albums we can’t afford yet HAHA

Do you think telepathy is real?  No.

When did you last draw something for fun?  Last Saturday when I played an online drawing/guessing game with my uncles and aunts.

Who makes the most in your entire family?  My dad.

Do you like writing essays?  I love essays, it’s my favorite writing piece to make.

Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal?  It turns into one when it gets obsessive, like when people get excessive plastic surgeries specifically to look like another person. I’m looking at you, fucking Oli London.

Do you take your trash to the dump or have it picked up?  It’s picked up.

When you sneeze do you sneeze into your shirt or your hands?  I look away and just sneeze. Sometimes I’ll put up my elbow.

Do you usually have sex in the morning, noon or night time? Erm, I usually had it at night. I only had morning sex when we would spend the night; and I nearly never had noon sex.

Did you ever fail your learners/drivers test?  No.

Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  Gun to my head, Lil Wayne.

Name someone you’ve become a lot closer to recently:  Reena!!! I’m so grateful Angela introduced us to each other :) We both tend to get shy so we don’t actually actively get chatty when we see each other irl, but I love her presence and I love that she is my friend. I make up for it by being super friendly and wacky in our group chat haha. Does your car have a sunroof?  No. We used to have a car that did, but we had to sell that during the peak of the pandemic.

Are you closer to your mom or your dad?  Dad.

Have you ever had a friend with benefits? No.

Who’s the last person you cuddled with?  My ex.

Are you friends with any of your teachers on Facebook?  Yeup.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #346

“i was in a car crash (or was it the war?)  /  but i’ve never been quite the same”

Do you take lessons for anything? No. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? Not to my recollection. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? I don't wear makeup frequently whatsoever, but if I do put some on, it's always black. Does your shower have curtains or a glass door/wall? Curtains. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? Well, one is a snake and one is a cat, so no, they don't. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? No. Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? Well, besides in this survey, Mom asked me if I wanted some shrimp she didn't finish. A true stunner, but I didn't want anymore. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? Nothing other than what was mentioned. Are you lonely? To be totally transparent, I'm extremely lonely on multiple levels. What’s your favorite magazine to read? Don't have one. Do you like pineapple? Yeah. But keep it off my pizza. Have you ever seen fireflies? Yeah, they're common in the summer here. Have you ever trespassed? Not to my knowledge. My sister, neighbor, and I regularly visited this shack as kids, just exploring and checking stuff out, and someone eventually did approach us and tell us to leave, but idk if anyone ACTUALLY owned the property? We never saw any signs. Do you tell your parents where you are going? Yeah; if I live with them, they have the right to know. Do you agree with the notion that all people were created equal? Yeah. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not really, no. Too many people, too many stores I don't care about, too much walking. Have you ever purposely hurt an animal? I've given pets a pop when they've done something wrong, but seriously hurt, fuck no. Would you ever see a therapist? I've seen a therapist consistently since the 6th grade. Are you afraid of heights? Yes. I used to not be, but it's a fear I've developed over time for no apparent reason. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Are you a jealous person? I was literally just thinking about this yesterday how much I hate how I've developed a jealous and envious side. It's not a feeling I used to experience like at all, so it's very uncomfortable to feel. When is your birthday? February 5th. What are you listening to right now? A John Wolfe playthrough of The Sinking City. It's really interesting and is making me wanna read Lovecraft books, haha. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? Probably at some point. Are you still friends with someone from kindergarten? No. What is the most important thing to you? My mental health. Do you like whip cream? NO. The taste is fine, but I can't handle the texture of it. Are you close to your mother? Very. Are you close to your father? Yeah, but not as close as I am with my mother. Do you walk around bare foot when you're at home? Or do you wear socks? Yeah, I stay barefoot. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Yessss, I love them. Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? Ew, no. Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Probably the Great Wall. Have you ever written a poem? I've written loads. Would you ever be a tornado chaser? FUCK no. Never, ever, EVER. what is your favorite thing to eat with bbq sauce, if you even like that stuff? I hate barbecue sauce. Your parents tell you that this summer, you get to pick the vacation. Where do you plan to go? As a family? Maybe Alaska. What do you think is a good theme for a prom? Um, maybe princesses and princes? It sounds cute, leave me alone. Have you ever had to do a class in summer school? No. Do you get nervous when you go to the doctor? About what? Not very, but somewhat. I'm always terrified to get on the scale and am also afraid I'll find out I have diabetes with how heavily it runs in my family, and I'm not exactly healthy. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. As cool as it would be, I would neeeever manage. The humidity would murder me. Have you ever created a website? Yeah, a few. Ever thought about writing a book? Yeah. Have you ever had a dream where you killed someone? I don't think so, but I have nightmares ALL the time where I'm fighting to defend myself. Do you ever make up stories in your head and wish they come true? Daydreams? Oh, yes. Which is worse: stuffy nose or runny nose? STUFFY. Having a runny nose surely isn't fun either, but at least you can have tissues handy. Which is worse: Sick to your stomach or sore throat? 100% sick to your stomach. I do nooot respond well to stomach pain. Do you think your last relationship was a disaster? Not at all. Have you ever solved a Rubik’s Cube? No. Who do you think is the easiest to talk to? Sara or Mom. Would you consider yourself to be emo? I don't care for stereotypes, I'm whatever. Do you have a favourite metal band or do you not like metal? I love metal, and my favorite artist is of course Ozzy Osbourne. What is your current desktop picture? My favorite picture of my late dog Teddy. Thick or thin blanket? I like thick ones. Cozier. Who are your favorite bands? Everyone knows my #1 is Ozzy, so I'll list some of my others that just fall behind him (in no order): Metallica, Otep, Marilyn Manson, Korn, In This Moment, Powerwolf, Motionless In White, Rammstein, A Day to Remember, Cradle of Filth, Mother Mother... There's a lot, really. How do you mark through your word search puzzles? It depends on what I have at my disposal, really. I think typically I would just circle the words with a pencil, but I'd prefer to use a highlighter. Have you ever sewn something? No. What did you eat for dinner last night? Mom made shrimp scampi with a side of white rice. It was delicious. Ever been grounded? If so, for what? Yeah, on multiple occasions. I think the longest was when I ran away from home. Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? No; I've only seen the first one with Tyler. I did, however, have the video game as a kid, and I LOVED it. I could never beat the final stage, though. :( When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) Months ago with my niece. She was hooked on playing Uno with me because I always let her win. Have you ever drank cherry Coke? Omg yes, I LOVE it. Have you ever had a black eye? No. Have you ever eaten a bug? No. Do you like pranking people? No. Did you ever take a cooking class in school? No. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Do you use Skype? Only to talk to Sara. Have you ever participated in local magazine cover girl searches? Definitely not. Have you ever been called a skank/slut because of the way you dress? No. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? Two are. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I'd rather not because it'll really set off my PTSD. Have you ever cheated on a test? Nope. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. How often does your employer ask you to work overtime? N/A Did you often read for fun when you were a kid? I read A LOOOOOT as a kid. I was a total bookworm. When was the last time you were scared? Excluding in nightmares that I don't remember, uhhh probably back when my PHP therapist surprised me by whipping out a poem I'd written and sharing it in front of the whole group. It wasn't the "bad" kind of scared, but I sure did feel fear. What’s your favorite song by Rihanna? "Disturbia" has always been #1. There's this '80s synthwave remix of the song that I adorrrreeee. Can you speak binary? Nope. Would you rather live somewhere that had hurricanes or tornadoes? I've dealt with hurricanes all my life and they don't terrify me NEARLY as much as the mere idea of a tornado, so. Have you ever had a pet that you disliked? None that were mine personally, but coincidentally, I didn't like two dogs my little sister had. The first one was just mildly annoying, and as much as I hate admitting it, I literally hated her last dog. When was the last time you saw hail? Maybe like... a month ago or something like that? Time is kinda blurry for me on this. We had an absolute downpour of hail one morning, then just... nothing. What is on your mind right this second: I have this at-home sleep study tonight and I'm pretty much obsessing over "what if I don't have a nightmare?" when, for ONCE, I want/need myself to. To be real, I don't know exactly what will change in my life if I do have a sleep apnea diagnosis or something that we're not already doing, but. Mom more than anyone just wants professionals to see that something is seriously wrong and needs fixing. Have you ever given a nickname to your pet(s)? Both have them, yeah. I think I call Venus "Miss Venus" more than her real name, then she's also "baby girl," "pretty," "beautiful girl," etc. I call Roman just "butt" a lot, haha, then there's "son," "Mama's boy," "bud"... When was the last time you shaved your legs? Not since last October. Nobody sees my legs, so I just don't care. Do you ever try free samples at the store? Sure, if I'm actually interested in the food. Do you like boys with long hair? That's actually my preference. Do you like rootbeer? It's not insufferable, but I'm not really a fan. What is the best fast food place, in your opinion? Sonic. Do you have faith in yourself? What a question to end it on, 'cuz I don't have a fuckin' clue these days.

[chicagosfinest2021]

nosy anons let's go

(I know people are supposed to anonymously send these to people but most people usually don't bother so I'm just going to answer them myself because I can :-P )

0: Height-5'3"

1: Age-Old enough to know what a pager is but young enough to never have actually used one before X-D

2: Shoe size-9

3: Do you smoke? No

4: Do you drink? Occasionally/socially

5: Do you take drugs? Just benadryl for my allergies

6: Age you get mistaken for? Early to mid 20's

7: Have tattoos? No

8: Want any tattoos? No, I like my chocolately skin the way it is :-)

9: Got any piercings? Just my ears

10: Want any piercings? I might get one or two more

11: Best friend? My sister

12: Relationship status? Happily unattached

13: Biggest turn ons? Men who have money and spend it on me

14: Biggest turn offs? Broke men who are looking for free sex and free therapy

15: Favorite movie? An Indian movie I just watched on Netflix a few months ago called "Queen". I saw so much of myself in the main character, it was amazing.

16: I’ll love you if… For men, you consistently make the effort to make me happy and make sure I'm taken care of(which includes respecting my time and my presence in your life). For women...we just have to bond and genuinely enjoy each others company, that's really it. Women earn my love much more easily.

17: Someone you miss? My grandmother, I'd probably give up a lot of good things I have going for myself right now in exchange for having my grandmother back.

18: Most traumatic experience? (*Trigger warning*) My sexual assaults, especially the second one because it was someone I'd known since I was a kid.

19: A fact about your personality? I've been introverted since childhood. I like either small intimate settings or being alone, rarely do I enjoy being in big groups.

20: What I hate most about myself? That it took me so long to come out of my social anxiety and had low self value for so long. I think that if I had conquered all of that sooner, I'd be a lot further ahead in life.

21: What I love most about myself? I'm more secure in who I am now than ever before. There's certain things that I used to tolerate that are unthinkable to me in the present, and I don't have "haters" because anyone that might be throwing negative energy my way doesn't register.

22: What I want to be when I get older? A luxurious Black woman with my own condo and living in an upscale neighborhood. I want to be saving money, making wise investments, and spoiling myself and my niece <3 I also want to have a tight group of girl friends I spend time with regularly.

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)? I have one full sister who is like my twin and we're very close, and a younger half-sister who's 8 years my junior whom I love but don't relate to too much. We have different mothers and (through no fault of hers) we grew up in very different environments: me and my oldest sister are a lot more "bougie" as a result of our suburban upbringing, but our little sister grew up in the 'hood and applies "hood logic" to a lot of things. The type of men we're attracted to, the type of music we like, the company we keep. . .it's like trying to talk to someone who speaks a foreign language.

24: My relationship with my parent(s)? I'm a daddy's girl. Even though my dad and I don't see eye to eye on everything he's the reason why I have such high expectations from men. My mom and I only recently started getting close, she and I tend to bump heads more often than me and my dad.

25: My idea of a perfect date? I show up to a 4 star Italian restaurant and my date meets me with roses and a small gift. We sit down and he's a gentleman, we eat, chat, makes jokes, and have a few drinks. After he pays the bill but before we get up to leave he passes me an envelope under the table. I take a look and see that it has $700 in cash inside of it. I accept it and thank him. Before we part ways he requests to see me again soon and I tell him I'll have to check my schedule. My Uber ride pulls up and my date opens my door for me before taking my hand and kissing it.

26: My biggest pet peeves? Men who want maximum benefits for minimal effort and the women willing to give it to them. Also trap music, just. . .in general. Oh and Black people who still insist we're "taking the sting out of the N-word" by using it casually amongst ourselves, it's just such a problematic and counterproductive mindset and I can't even pretend to entertain it.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like? I don't currently have anyone that I like but ideally they'd be well groomed, witty, intelligent, stable mentally, emotionally and financially. Someone who likes jokes but isn't vulgar, and notices the little things about me (how I make eye contact, my natural scent, the way I carry myself when I walk, sit, stand, etc). Being physically attractive is always a plus, but things that I find physically attractive in a person is very broad.

28: A description of the person I dislike the most? Rude, unkempt, body odor, someone who doesn't respect personal boundaries, ungrateful, uninteresting, someone who talks incessantly about things they don't actually know or can't comprehend.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend? I can't remember the last time I lied to a friend about anything.

30: What I hate the most about work/school? My current position is uninteresting, tedious and not in a field I was working in previously. Also I'm doing work that realistically should be performed by 4 or 5 people but of course they expect one person to take care of everything. It's really just a temporary gig to make money to save up for a new place, so I'm trying to suck it up because I know I won't be here long.

31: What my last text message says: My cousin said she got her 2nd covid vaccination today so I responded with "Hip Hop Hooray!" LOL

32: What words upset me the most? "I'm just looking to have fun. . ."

33: What words make me feel the best about myself? When another pretty Black girl gives me a compliment, I immediately feel invincible.

34: What I find attractive in women? High self esteem and a sense of security, not seeing other women as competition, women who are cultured and have multiple interests, and who enjoy learning new things as well as sharing her wisdom with others. I also enjoy creating bonds with women who are child-free by choice like myself.

35: What I find attractive in men? Their ability to spoil me and give me pleasure.

36: Where I would like to live? North side of Chicago maybe around Lincoln Park. Outside of the US I'd like to live in England or Ireland in the future.

37: One of my insecurities: I am a short woman with large breasts (double D's). I've been buxom since a very young age and being well endowed has made me the center of negative attention on more than a few occasions. I'm constantly battling between wanting to highlight my curves without "advertising" too much either.

38: My childhood career choice: I believe I wanted to be a writer. I'd love to be a travel blogger actually.

39: My favorite ice cream flavor: It used to be cookie dough but now it's mint chocolate chip

40: Who I wish I could be: Sade

41: Where I want to be right now: Sitting on the balcony of my luxury condo, sipping wine and watching the lights of the city while smooth jazz is playing on my record player.

42: The last thing I ate: A slice of my dad's birthday cake (red velvet)

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately: I have this picture of this male model saved on my phone who looks like a "stereotypical" sugar daddy to me: tall, caucasian male, white/silver hair, piercing blue eyes, mid to late 50's, full beard and mustache, about 6 feet tall, muscular build.

44: A random fact about anything: Countries with more irreligious people/atheists/non-believers tend to also be the most peaceful and prosperous.

[canaryatlaw]

it’s late, and I do have to get up in the morning, though I may just go back to sleep afterwards. my church has been having very limited gatherings over the past few weeks, and in March they’re planning on opening them somewhat more, and restarting our kids program as well, so kids have somewhere to go while their parents are in the service, and tomorrow morning we’re having a training on how that all will take place, I’m assuming it’ll mostly be covering new protocols and the technicalities of how everything will work. They are holding it in person at the church but also on Zoom, and I’m just going to do Zoom of course because I am still always hesitant about going out, and an uber down to where it is is going to run me at least $25 each way, but I’m definitely not at a place where I can go back to public transit, not just because of the pandemic but more because of my stupid, not working legs that would definitely not cooperate with the distances of walking required to use public transit, even if it’s just a few blocks, it’s too much. I am still concerned that being at church and with the babies isn’t going to work well- that things are going to go wrong, like they did with soccer, and it’ll just be a dismal failure and I’ll be even more frustrated and upset with myself, but I have to try. I have to at least know there’s a reason I’m not doing something, not just too scared to take a chance and wind up stuck in my apartment for the rest of my life. I just hope nothing goes wrong especially when I’m with the babies because that concerns me greatly, but it’s really not like it would pose an actual risk to anybody, even if I’m like holding a baby I can control it enough that I can get to a sitting position and stable before I let it go and let it flail around until it gets its fill. I’m sure I’m going to have to give the other workers a disclaimer at the beginning of the service so they won’t be super alarmed or concerned if something happens, though I’ll still be pissed as hell that it did happen because I just hate feeling helpless oh so much, and just being in positions where I have to rely on other people to help me just drives me nuts, I don’t like sympathy I don’t like pity, don’t feel bad for me please, I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ll be fine, I can control this. I’m in control. 

sigh. that’s what I keep telling myself at least. I should probably actually get to describing my day now that I went on a whole rant about that. Alarm went off at 8:30 because it’s the Saturday of our once a month church legal clinic, which starts on Zoom at 8:45 for a brief powwow with everyone, then at 9 we start the consultation with the client until 9:45 at which point we go back and chat with everybody, and end roughly around 10. my friend from school that I know has been going to the same church as me for some time but of course between pandemic and everything else I haven’t actually seen her face to face, but I knew she was doing the justice center too and we were both in the general zoom room before we started so I private messaged her just a few things saying hi haha so that was cool. The actual consultation was fine, I’m always so anxious they’re going to ask me about stuff I don’t know about, but I did know this was another divorce case, and while I definitely don’t handle divorces at my actual work, it coincides with my work a lot of the time and from being in family law focused spaces I’ve learned quite a bit about it, so I know my way around it fairly well. this was a bit more complicated case so I did recommend she consult with a legal aid attorney to hopefully help her file things, because this was fair beyond what a self-represented litigant could handle, even with a legal advice clinic and the great resources we have to help pro se litigants, it was just way too much. but we got a start on things so she can at least have something to take to the attorney, so all of that was easy peasy. the notes we got prior to the consultation were from the client coordinator speaking to her earlier in the week, and also included a line that was like “I need a divorce, I know it’s wrong but...” and went on to cite spiritual and cultural baggage surrounding it, so when we were at the end of the session I just told her that something we say a lot in my work (we don’t actually say it a lot, generally just when spiritual concerns are interfering with a victim’s safety, which thankfully isn’t often, but the point is the same) is that people are more important than institutions, and that her worth as a person is much more important than the existence of a marriage that has clearly broken down beyond a state of repair by so much mistreatment and bad behavior from her spouse. And I really just felt like it was important to tell her that she is doing the right thing here, and that she should not feel guilty about doing this, even that it is explicitly stated in the bible (by Jesus, no less) that divorce is allowed when the woman (or either spouse practically) is being abused, and that emotional abuse is just as valid as any other type of abuse, and taking steps to protect herself was the best thing she could be doing right now. so I clearly had a lot of feelings about that, and our client support coordinator (that’s not what their actual title is but that’s what we call their equivalent at my job so it’s good enough) really echoed it and affirmed it from a cultural perspective as well (coordinator was Asian, client was South Asian) and the client ended up in tears and I just felt satisfied that I was able to get that message across, because very few things truly piss me off more than “Christians” trying to “save a marriage” at the cost of the safety of one of the parties, and it’s been well documented that abusers can very easily manipulate counseling situations and paint the other party out to be the one that is being ungodly because they want out of the marriage, and it’s a giant load of bullshit that loses sight of the importance of a human being and it’s such a perversion of what God actually wants for his children and is just the result of legalism taken to an extreme and people’s welfare not actually taken into consideration, only the rules. Thankfully I haven’t run into this situation too many times while doing this work (I can think of two off the top of my head, and both of those very clearly stuck with me, even several years later), and I have encountered a very opposite situation of a pastor being incredibly supportive and even accompanying the client to file and for court dates, and it was just so heartening for me to see- the pastor wrote me an email later that night saying thank you again, and I just expressed that as a Christian myself, I had so much gratitude at seeing his supporting a member of his church so strongly. so that positive experience has stuck with me at least. anyway. we wrapped things up and I did consider going back to bed lol but ended up choosing to stay up, I’ve had such a baking itch and now have a lot of things I have to eat haha but I had seen something a while back about caramelizing white chocolate, which sounded super intriguing and I really wanted to try it, but it very strongly focused on having high quality white chocolate for it to work, so I tried to get the fanciest I could from my instacart order and I couldn’t find the cocoa butter percentage listed (that’s apparently the most important part) so I thought it probably wasn’t good enough, but I was going to try anyway. it basically involves a low-temp oven (like 250f) with it being spread out on a baking sheet, and every ten minutes taking it out and like spreading it as it darkens and such, for like an hour. so I had started doing that but it was pretty obvious from the start it wasn’t going to work how it should, it was very grainy and just not cooperating, at around that same time friend messaged and asked if I wanted to do one of our taco bell and target runs that we’ve been doing lately like right then, and there wasn’t much else I could do with the chocolate at that point so I left that and got real clothes on and left for taco bell and then target. I was disappointed to find out taco bell’s build your own cravings box could only be ordered from their mobile app and not the drive-in, but as a result I ended up with chicken chalupas instead of my regular “seasoned beef” (because you know that’s deff high quality stuff) and they were actually really good, so I may continue those in the future, lol we’ll see. so we sat in the home depot parking lot to eat like we normally do then drove over to Target (the taco bell is farther away, so we have to drive there and then back to the Target) and go from there. I didn’t need too many things, mostly just toilet paper and a few random food items, and I ended up with toilet paper, a pint of my super favorite ice cream that’s like $8 but is so damn good it’s worth it, some actual popsicles, some lemonade (my sodastream canisters are MIA at the moment so I needed something else to make my water at least somewhat appealing), and these little frozen crushed garlic cubes that are each equal to one clove of garlic and I’ve heard very good things about, so I wanted to try that since I couldn’t find any garlic while making the chicken scampi the other night. so we checked out and I ended up obtaining a watermelon mountain dew, because I saw that and knew I needed to have it, though I still had baja blast left from taco bell, so the watermelon one is in my fridge yet to be opened (it’s a 20 oz bottle, not like a 2 liter). from there I got dropped off at home and put some stuff away and worked on a few things, eventually watching a few episodes of Scrubs before remembering I had some stuff recorded still that I hadn’t finished, so I watched 9-1-1 and 9-1-1: Lone Star, which were of course very good, and while viewing was looking at various recipes for oreo rice krispie treats which I’d had a random craving for and bought supplies from instacart the other day, and after reading a few I decided to just kinda make up my own rules and go with it haha I had to revive some slightly stale marshmallows (put them in a ziploc and then in a bowl of hot water until they soften) as well as some stale oreos (350f in the oven for 3 minutes), though there only ended up being like 4 left in that pack and the rest from the new one, so that worked. I browned like 6 tablespoons of butter in a skillet and then transferred it to a big pot, addedt the old marshmallows (like 3/4 of a bag) as well as a bag of new ones, then crushed up most of the oreos and mixed them with a good amount of rice krispies and went from there. when I first dumped them into the pan it was just like this giant blob and I was like welp perhaps I made too much but then it kind of settled down to a more reasonable size, just still pretty large but that’s fine. I went back to the tv and watched For Life, and then to the news and SNL for a bit before getting in the shower and getting ready for bed, and of course now it’s almost 2 am and I am oh so tired, so I’m going to go to bed now being that I have to wake up at 10:15 (much better than 8:45 for work, but still). Goodnight friends. Hope you had an awesome Saturday.

[notalwaysthevillian]

Brewing Love

Warnings: Food mention, hardcore flirting, innuendo

Pairings: Remile; background Logicality, eventual Prinxiety

Word Count: ~1.8k

Read from the beginning!

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Chapter 8

Remy saw Virgil a total of twice before Monday morning.

The first was when he came in at 2 in the morning to find his new roommate sitting on the counter eating a bowl of cereal.

The second was just before he left on Sunday. He’d been running late and had rushed into the kitchen to find Virgil feeding Chai. The little rascal had rubbed up against his leg and purred as loud as she could.

As soon as his alarm went off on Monday, Remy groaned. Yeah, he loved his job, but some days you just wanted more than a day off.

“I guess that’s what I’m training Virgil for.” He mumbled to himself as he left his bedroom.

“What?”

A girlish shriek rang out through the apartment. Remy glared at his roommate, who was chuckling from the shadows. “You! How do you do that?”

“I’m just quiet, Rem. Maybe you should try it sometime.” Virgil joked as he stepped into the light. Dark eyeshadow was spread expertly beneath his eyes, somehow making the backwards application stylish. “Did you want me to feed Chai again?”

“If you would, apparently she likes you more than her own father.” Remy barely heard Virgil’s soft laugh as he stepped into the bathroom.

After speeding through his morning routine, Remy threw on a pink bomber and grabbed his keys. “Ready to learn, young padawan?”

Virgil gave him an unimpressed look before heading out the door.

The two walked in silence on the way to the shop, appreciating the quiet of early morning. The sun’s rays were slowly lighting up the sky and a gentle breeze blew through the city.

The complete opposite of the chaos they’d be facing in the next hour.

As soon as they entered the shop, Patton darted out from the kitchen. He wrapped Virgil in a hug. “I hope you decide to work here! If it’s slow, you can help me with pastries while Logan does paperwork and then we can catch up!”

“We’ll see how it goes.” Virgil smiled. “But I need to be trained first.”

“Right!” Patton released his hold and took a few steps back. “Have fun!”

Virgil shook his head as Patton headed back to the kitchen. “He really hasn’t changed since high school.”

“Come on, let me show you how everything works.”

It wasn’t a surprise when Virgil picked up on everything rather quickly. It’s not as though the machines were hard to use. The drinks took longer than usual because Remy insisted on perfection.

“Don’t be afraid to mix things up a little.” Remy said as he worked on a new recipe he’d been trying. “Sometimes the new things I make suck. We just throw them away and never speak of them again.”

Virgil bit his lip, staring at the different syrups. Remy recognized the look on his face and grinned. “Go wild.”

Moving slowly, Virgil started on a drink. Remy watched as he put a few different syrups together and stirred it vigorously to make sure they were blended fully. When he was done he held it out. “You try.”

“Nu-uh, creator always tries it first.” He pushed the drink back towards Virgil. “That’s how I’ve gotten out of trying some of Logan’s worse creations.”

“Hey!”

“Logan, I say this with all the love in the world, but you are not good at making new drinks!”

There was a beat of silence before Remy heard whispering coming from the kitchen. He rolled his eyes. “Unless you want to watch those two make out, stay out of the kitchen when Logan’s upset.”

“Noted.” Virgil sipped his drink, his eyes lighting up as the flavor hit. “I didn’t think that would work honestly.”

“Alright gurl, hand it over.” Grabbing the cup, Remy took a long drink. The butterscotch flavor burst on his tongue, so sweet it almost made him choke. He started coughing, handing the drink back. “That’s a good one for our sweet tooths.”

“I’m guessing you prefer a more bitter taste?” Virgil grabbed a pen out of the cup and starting writing down the recipe on some spare receipt paper.

“Bitter coffee, sweet kisses.” Remy headed to the register as Logan emerged from the kitchen to unlock the door. “Look alive, kid.”

Virgil rolled his eyes, stuffing the recipe in his back pocket. “I’m only a few years younger than you.”

“Shut up, you’re like twelve.” The nasally tone in Remy’s voice made Virgil burst out laughing, just as their first customer came up.

“What?” Remy asked, noting the black mug in his hands.

“Can I get a PSL?” She asked, a grin on her face.

A heavy sigh left Remy’s mouth as he punched in her order. “Basic white girl - fall edition, coming right up.”

Midway through the morning, Remy let Virgil take a few orders. He grinned as Virgil upped the sass, offending an older woman enough that she left the shop.

The kid was a natural.

As the morning quieted down, Remy clapped Virgil on the shoulder. “What do you think of the job?”

“I think it’s perfect.” Virgil’s eyes twinkled as he finished up a drink and handed it out. “Did you see that lady’s face?”

Remy leaned his hip against the counter. “You’re really good at this, Virgil. We’d all love to have you here.”

“That depends on if he gets my drink right.”

The two baristas turned to find Roman in front of the register. Virgil raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be, Princey? Wait, let me guess. Something with six different syrups that would take any lesser person over ten minutes to make?”

“I’ll take a Chai Latte. Add salted caramel, french vanilla, and praline syrup. Oh, and a generous swirl of whipped cream on top.” Roman rattled off, watching Virgil enter his order. “Hmm...and one of those delicious cinnamon rolls.”

“Wow, not nearly as complicated as I thought. Are you sure you don’t want to add a few more syrups? Do you want me to make sure it’s not too hot? Wouldn’t want to burn your pretty mouth.” Virgil quipped, starting on the drink.

“Actually, that sounds great.” Roman leaned against the counter. “After all, my pretty mouth needs to be ready for its...multiple uses.”

Remy, who’d been watching the two like a tennis match, smirked as Virgil turned red. He knew exactly what was running through his mind.

Without another word, Virgil finished the drink and handed it over. Roman took it, making sure to graze their fingertips together. He took a sip, not breaking eye contact with Virgil. “Mmmm, that’s really good.”

The bell on the door chimed as Emile walked in. Remy pulled on Virgil’s apron, untying the back. “We’re good for the day, you can go.”

“There’s always room for more.” Roman purred before he picked up his drink and headed to a couple’s table.

Virgil blushed even harder, opting to dart into the kitchen instead. Remy saw Roman track the movement with his eyes and smirk.

“What was that about?” Emile asked as he handed Remy his usual mug.

Remy started on a hot chocolate. “Roman obviously likes Virgil. I think Virgil likes him back, but the poor guy hasn’t had much experience so he doesn’t really know what to do. Hopefully Patton can talk some sense into him.”

“Rem? Can you come in here a second?”

Virgil walked out from the kitchen, pointedly ignoring the ogling from the corner table. Patton was right on his heels, a pleading look on his face.

“Sure. Virgil, can you finish off Emile’s hot chocolate? It just needs whipped cream.”

When Remy reached Patton, the baker whispered, “Virgil said something about being too gay to work here?”

“Roman was flirting with him and laying it on a bit thick if I do say so myself.” Remy watched as Roman headed back to the counter and batted his eyelashes at Virgil.

The next few seconds seemed to go by in slow motion. Remy had no clue what Roman had said, but it startled Virgil enough that he dropped the mug in his hands. It fell to the floor and shattered into a million pieces, sending hot chocolate everywhere.

Emile let out a gasp, hands flying to his mouth. “Oh, goodness! Are you alright? Can I help?”

“Virge -”

Virgil darted out of the shop. Patton took off after him, brushing past a shocked Roman.

Grabbing a broom, Remy handed it out. “You helped cause the mess, you get to help clean it up, Ro.”

“That’s fair.”

The two got to work cleaning up. The floor was spotless by the time Patton came back with Virgil, who looked like he’d been crying. He went straight to Emile.

“Um, Remy told me that was your favorite mug. I’m so sorry that I broke it, I can try to find another one or -”

“Oh, Virgil, no.” Emile moved to hug him, but stopped himself. Instead he held his arms out. Virgil slipped into them easily. “I’m not mad at all. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Remy watched the scene unfold with a smile. Emile always seemed to know exactly what to say.

“Rem also said you’re a therapist?” Virgil asked, continuing when Emile nodded. “Do you think you could take another client?”

Emile moved his hands to Virgil’s shoulders. “I think you’d be better off with a co-worker of mine. I’m worried that since we’re friends it’ll be hard to separate work life and personal life. But my co-worker Jamahl was looking for some new clients. He does music therapy.”

“That sounds great. Can you give me his information?”

The two continued chatting, Virgil’s smile returning as they did.

Roman nudged Remy. “I didn’t mean for the mug to break.”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it covered.” Remy turned, poking Roman in the chest. “But you need to tone it down. Virgil isn’t like your usual type. Come on too strong and you might scare him away.”

“Got it.” Roman stretched his arms above his head, his lips twitching as he caught Virgil staring. “I gotta go plan the next open mic with Logan. See ya.”

“Em?” Remy asked, seeing that Virgil was heading out the door. Emile turned and gave him a questioning look. “You want another hot chocolate?”

“Yes please!”

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[jodellejournals]

little mermaid days

an hour away from my hometown city, a municipality called san joaquin peacefully exists and humbly thrives. it is located at the southern tip of iloilo and it was way back 2005 when we spontaneously walked on its shores until we found an empty lot. it was love at first sight at the scenery that struck us so my tita bought that piece of land. a year later, it became our family beach house. long weekends, summer breaks, birthdays, and anniversaries started to be spent and celebrated there and so it became a home away from the city where i lived my little mermaid dreams. as some of you know, i have always been fascinated by mermaids and their happy-go-lucky life — just swimming, brushing their hair with forks, being friends with crabs and almost all sea creatures, and away from the harsh and cruel human world. i’m such an escapist, i know, but that’s who i am. i have mentioned in one of my previous entries that my favorite disney princess is ariel from the little mermaid so living in a beach house during weekends made me feel like one. thankfully, no ursula was there but only eels. and sometimes, they come for free. a family friend of ours who does business in the area gives us free seafood and we all know it tastes better when it’s free! but i don’t eat eels! they’re not my thing. i only enjoy fresh fishes and prawns. they’re good although i am allergic to the latter one. i am scared of how oysters look like, on the other hand, so i just pass them around. that’s too much food already so let me share to you instead how life was like in the sea side.

usually, we’d leave our ancestral house in the city by 8am although we have originally planned to depart at 7am. filipino time, you know. if there will be plenty of us (cousins from first to third degrees, extended aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews who were tagged along, and some househelp), we’d go in three batches. if we’re a small bunch, one or two batches would be enough. i always pick the car where cousins my age were at and i’d be lounging in the backseat with my pillow, a bag of cheetos or chippy, bottled water, and earphones. life is good. and i’m all set for a cozy hour of car ride. bye-bye, city! whilst on the road, i’d always (and i mean always), look in the window as if i’m in a summer adventure movie like aquamarine. the usual sights were centuries-old churches, spanish colonnial houses, pastry shops, local malls and resorts. all of which were very familiar to me since i grew up passing by them but they still seemed anew each time i laid my eyes. i marveled at my city. it is such beauty. there is really no place like home. then thirty to forty minutes later, my eyes were greeted by palm trees, zigzag roads, little nipa restaurants, and just a bit further, the glittering sea under the piercing rays of sun came into our perfect view. san joaquin, being a southern municipality, is abundant in natural resources. so the closer you get there, the closer you are to mother nature. it’s like a secret hiding place for me — almost like narnia — where i can unwind with birds, fishes, cows, and dogs to name a few. some cows were literally on the road so we make sure that we don’t go way too fast even if there’s no traffic. cows have their agendas, too, so let’s not get in their way. then if we’d get a bit hungry because breakfast was usually prepared upon arriving at the beach house, we’d stop over at a famous bakery shop called nang palang’s pies. a trip to san joaquin is usually never completed without buying boxes of their signature buko pie. delicious, warm, and well-suited for the tropical weather. i’d take half-bites so as to not be full when real breakfast arrives. then after attempts of dozing into a nap and avoiding cows and their agendas, we’d finally arrive at our vacation home.

upon opening the car door, the crashing sound of the waves welcomed us warmly and the buzzing of the crickets, too! i can already feel my tan slowly coming out of my skin. i don’t know why but beaches make everything seem glisten and glitter. the air smelled of fresh leaves and trees mixed with saltiness from the sea. i love that earth smell! by that time, i’d instinctively hear the sea calling my name. it’s shining there few steps away from me, after all. no worries mr. sea, me and my cousins were already in our swimsuits. we were that excited and ready. we have learned from previous visits to be always prepared with the right attire because the sea calling exempts nobody. and the bangka at the shore (that is usually a property of our caretaker) only tempted us more to go for a sunny boat ride. the adults could no longer do anything if we jumped in and rowed that boat! forget the sunscreen, the little children in us back then used to not care much about our skin. playtime was more important and twice the fun at the beach. so one time, my mother called us for breakfast but we were already dipped in the not-so-deep blue sea and basked under the yellow san joaquin sun. too late, chocolate!

but if she triumphed in stopping us, me and my cousins would have an afternoon swim instead. by 3:30pm, usually refreshed from our nap, we were in the perfect mood to be little mermaids. folding chairs in happy colors perched at the shore and tall beach umbrellas stood firmly. now we have sandy toes that made us forget our childish woes. we’d create sand castles or write our names in the sand using sticks. it would stay there for the sky to look upon until a giant wave would wash them all away. gone was any trace of our masterpiece but that’s okay, we always love the sea. then some children at our age would pass by us. they hold with them crystal bottles that looked like one of those that ursula had with potion, weirdly-shaped but pretty-colored stones, kites, and biscuits or chips. i guess it’s their playtime, too. no, they’re not lost wandering anywhere the wind takes them but local residents just roaming around their village. yes, our beach house was at the sea side where many houses of the locals stood firm. when we talked to those children about the place, they knew every twist and turn, how long it would take to get to the next island or village, or how much the goods there cost. these children, small they may be, but mighty is their knowledge. i could not even commute properly until now without asking for some guides and directions! but them, they are like dora’s map that memorized each corner by heart. how wonderful are the lives of these people? living by the sea, breathing fresh air, and swimming in the waters anytime they want. they do fishing for a living and it’s not even a nine-to-six job. clearly, there is work-life balance. the best things in life are indeed, free. so why do we even picture a life in the city? a simple life calls for a simple way of living. but jodelle, you know deep down inside, that each parent wants their children to live a life with the best things that this world has to offer. how? by getting a good education, earning money, investing on insurance, building your own place, exploring countries, and meeting new faces to name a few. that’s how it’s always been painted to us. but what if, once in a while, we just retreat to nature and immerse in a homemade and handmade kind of life? i’d gladly consider that option.

anyway, going back to my story, me and my cousins would start swimming by 4pm right after our encounter with the locals. for me, it’s the ideal swimming time because there was no more blazing heat but only breezing winds. and it would not also be long enough until it’s sunset o’clock! so one afternoon, i laid down by the shore wearing my navy blue swimsuit with yellow flowers on it and my back felt the soft sand and each time the waves kissed the shore. relaxing, soothing, calming. i can just stay here forever, i remember thinking. and while laying there, my only view was the clear sky. it was not blue that time but clear white with some fading yellows on the sides from the noon that has passed. how vast is this celestial body? does it ever end? the world is so big and i felt so small — but free as well. then a flock of chirping birds came into my view and i didn’t mind. i enjoyed them, in fact. they seemed so happy and at peace. isn’t it beautiful how bodies of water, vast skies, and living creatures just harmoniously coexist together? god really created everything perfectly. i stayed laying there a bit longer and saw the sky changed to a different shade in its own pace. just like us humans. another thought came across my mind but it was a bit silly. wild guess? i pretended the sand was snow and created a sand angel! it was not that bad upon checking the outcome. shortly, i called my cousin, dianne, and told her my blissful and happy experience. i can’t be selfish and enjoy the wonders of the shores all to myself, right? so she also laid beside me, created her own sand angel, and we looked up to the sky above, enjoying our moment of peace and quiet. we closed our eyes for a bit and meditated. just two pisces girls being spiritual. but not too long though, because strong waves took us back to our reality.

by that time, the sun was already setting and hues of oranges, pinks, and purples painted the sky. i’m not a swimmer so i just sat at a huge rock in the waters, pretended i had a tail, and parted my wet hair into half just like how mermaids do it. i’d look at the horizon, check ships from afar, observe small boats nearby, and when i look down on my toes, little nemos were there happily swimming. being in nature really makes me feel alive. then as we came out of the waters, the fishermen were also docking their bangkas and pulling their fishing nets. they had a bountiful catch which was enough to feed their family. that signaled me and my cousins that it was time to wash up in the bathroom for dinner will soon be served. expectedly, our viand would be grilled fish to be dipped in soy sauce, calamansi, and chilli peppers and we’d pair it with warm sticky rice. when we were full, we’d leave the ground floor for the adults to play mahjong and climb our way to the second floor to share stories. sometimes, we’d play cards or read books through our iphones. The television did not appeal much to us when we were there. and when midnight came, we’d munch on a bag of doritos for snacks and drink leftover red wine that was usually from our previous visit. all while the airconditioner was on full blast. i miss that kind of comfortable. a little bit later, we’d turn off some of the lights but it wasn’t completely dark. the moon that shone above was enough to give us light and it seeped through our room that was guarded by a sliding glass door. it overlooked the sea 24/7 and we never got tired of that view. when daylight came, there was no need for an alarm clock because the sound of the ocean waves that sweetly lulled us to sleep last night would gently wake us up in the morning sun, too. coming with the terms of nature and its cycles enabled me to be aware of what part of the day it already was. so that’s when i knew it’s time for brunch because the sun was way too high up in the sky. we’d then go on with the day just like how we spent yesterday until we were due to be back in the city.

oh, happy times. it was simpler back then. it used to even feel like days would always be like that forever but look at me now. i’m miles away from where i consider home and “living” a so-called adult life “the way it should be” — working at the office, paying insurance, constructing emails. all those stuff. when did life become like this? did i forget how to have a heart and eyes of a child? i hope not. but being in your twenties can easily get you in a trap especially if there is no time to take a pause and reflect. sometimes, it’s easier to be just a child — forgiving, carefree, light-hearted, full of wonder, and pure in every way. all would be well again after a good cry. but then i have always known that i can forever remain a kid at heart no matter how old i age. i just have to make sure that she’s within me safely guarded at all costs so the world would never harden her. i am glad she still remains soft when i look at her closely. she still has those eyes full of wonder with a carefree heart that carries happy childhood memories from her little mermaid days.

[beanfic]

New Roommates-Ch.2

Word count: 1838

Warnings: Talk of parental death & language 

Author’s note: Here is chapter 2 of my YouAU for Kansas’ writing challenge! As a reminder, this series is in first person from MY perspective so it is not a reader insert fic, but I hope you still enjoy it! :)

I felt strange right as I stepped foot into my new bedroom. It was still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that I have officially moved out and moved in with strangers I met off the internet. 

My suitcases sat in front of me. It seemed as if they were mocking me. I knew I should start unpacking but I could slowly feel myself getting more and more anxious. I stood up from the bed that the movers had installed and stretched my arms. Maybe if I had some company I would be able to unpack quicker and stay motivated. 

I opened my bedroom door and peeked my head out. I could hear Kae’s voice in the kitchen, and that was exactly who I needed to help me. Usually, I felt anxious around people who I do not know, but they made me feel so comfortable, it was nice.��

“Hey Kae! Do you want to help me unpack? I felt like it could be an easy bonding experience,” I joked as I walked into the kitchen.

“Hell yeah!” They stood up from the stool and walked back to my bedroom with me. 

The next hour was spent with me explaining my past to Kae while folding, hanging, and putting away clothes. Kae was easy to talk too, but I also wanted to know more about them. 

“Looks like the clothes are all done!” Kae announced. I nodded and held my hand up for a high five. 

“Let’s make my bed next since I need to sleep in that tonight,” I chuckled. Kae and I grabbed both ends of the black sheets and tucked them over the mattress. 

“This comforter is so pretty!”

“Thank you! My mom got it for me as a moving out gift!” I smiled. The black and white striped comforter matched well with the white furniture that I had picked out. The colors I chose for the room were black, white, and rose gold! 

“This blanket is so soft,” Kae wrapped her body with a fluffy rose gold blanket you had found at target. 

“Right?”

“I think I might steal this.”

“Maybe I will just have to buy you your own!” I giggled.

“I can just buy myself one! Target trip!” Kae clapped excitedly once again. 

“Yes! I love target! That is where I got most of my rose gold decorations to go on my dresser and desk!” 

“I love it! Your room is so cute.”

“Thank you, Kae!” 

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation that we were having. I went over and opened it up to reveal Tyler. 

“Kae don’t you have work at 6?”

“Oh fuck!” they screamed. “I lost track of time! Sorry, Y/N, but I’ll be over lots!!” I waved goodbye to Kae who rushed out of my room. Tyler shut the door leaving me alone with my thoughts once again. I continued unpacking tiny nick-nacks that had sentimental value. Small, nostalgic memories flooded my brain everytime I picked up an item. 

I missed Oregon. I missed the trees, the rainstorms, the beach, the mountains. Columbus isn’t bad, it’s just not the same. 

The smell of a seasoned chicken being cooked in the oven wafted into my room, filling my nostrils. My mouth started to water, and my stomach began to rumble. I had such a hectic day that I really didn’t eat that much. I was starving. 

I opened the door and was greeted by Josh also coming out of his bedroom. His eyes matched with mine and we both just awkwardly stared at each other for a second too long. 

“Hey, Sav,” Josh broke the eye contact as he looked away. I blinked a few times. Why was that such an awkward encounter? 

“Hey, Josh. Why didn’t you help me move in?” I asked with a hint of sarcasm to my tone of voice so he knew that I wasn't actually upset. I even crossed my arms and leaned into my hip for added effect. 

“As the boys probably told you I was busy!”

“They said you were taking a nap?”

“Yeah, busy taking a fat nap.”

I rolled my eyes and walked away towards the scent of dinner. My heart started to speed up as I realized this would be my first dinner at my new apartment with my new roommates. 

“Hey, Sav! Good morning, Josh!” Mark teased as we both sat down at the counter. He was wearing an apron that had ‘Chef Mark” embroidered into it

“It smells delicious!” 

“Thank you! We are having rosemary lemon pepper chicken, asparagus, and mashed potatoes! It should be done in about five minuted and then you can help yourself!” Mark explained. 

I smiled towards him before turning around to see what Tyler was up to. He was sitting on the couch heavily involved in a Mario kart race. 

“Does he usually play alone?” I turned back around asking Mark and Josh, not wanting to disrupt Tyler.

“Usually when I am cooking, or when Josh is busy.” Mark put air quotes around the word busy. 

“Shuddup,” Josh mumbled. He was busy on his phone and I took a peek over. I recognized the app almost immediately. 

“You’re on tinder?” I practically laughed in his face. 

“Jesus,” Josh locked his phone and glanced up at me. “Why yes I am.”

“For some reason that surprises me.”

“Why?” Josh furrowed his brow.

“I don’t know, I feel like you could just find dates naturally.”

“Because I am naturally handsome?” Josh winked. 

“No,” I rolled my eyes once again. I quickly looked away from Josh once I started to feel my cheeks get warm. There was no way I was letting Josh see me getting flustered. Even though I did think he was naturally handsome and pretty, and cute. I had to stop. He was my roommate. 

“Dinner is ready!” Mark called out. I stood up from the stool and followed behind Josh. Tyler slowly made his way over to the kitchen from the couch.

“How is Mario kart going?” I asked him.

“Not too well, I keep on getting third and I am no third placer.”

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Josh laughed as he scooped a pile of potatoes onto his plate.

“You lose to me literally every single time we play, Josh. You have no place to talk.”

“I’m not as bad as Mark though.”

Mark looked up from his own plate with his mouth wide open, “You guys are just rude.”

I softly laughed to myself as the boys continued to bicker. It was probably going to be something I need to get used to. I grabbed a few pieces of chicken, asparagus, and a scoopful of mashed potatoes, it looked and smelled delicious. 

I noticed that all the boys hurried over to the couch with Josh and Mark planting down on the bean bags. I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to sit, as I wasn’t fully comfortable eating on a couch so I decided to walk over to the kitchen table. 

“Sav!” Tyler yelled as he turned around. “Come sit with us!” 

I smiled, “Okay.” I took a few deep breaths as I shuffled over and sat on the far left of the couch next to Tyler. The couch made a pfft sound as I lowered down into the cushions. 

“So, Sav, let’s use this as a bonding experience! Tell us more about yourself!” Mark asked. 

I shrugged my shoulders as I finished chewing a piece of chicken that I had in my mouth. “I don’t really know what you guys even want to know! I’m not interesting.”

“Let’s start why you moved to Ohio! You mentioned something about your grandma?”

“Oh yeah.” I rubbed my arm. “My grandma isn’t doing too well, she has stage 3 breast cancer, and my mom felt guilty that she was all the way in Oregon and not here helping her own mom.”

“So it’s your mom’s mom?” Tyler clarified.

I nodded, “Yeah, it’s just me and my mom. My Dad passed away when I was 11 from Leukemia.”

“I’m so sorry, Sav, I had no idea,” Tyler said softly. 

“That must have been really hard,” Josh chimed in. He looked up at me with his large chocolate eyes and I found myself getting lost in them. 

“It’s okay, it was such a long time ago but I still have those days where I miss him a lot.” I looked down at my plate, not wanting to be caught staring into Josh’s eyes. I don’t know what it is about him, but he just mesmerizes me when I look at him. 

“Let’s change the subject to something happier! You graduated college right?” Mark asked.

“Yeah, from Portland State University! I majored in Psychology but I can’t really do anything with that degree unless I go back to school for a masters program which is why I am hoping to make extra money from the photography job I found.”

“You already have a photography job?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah! I had an interview about a month ago, and I just found out last week I was hired!”

“What is it exactly?” Mark questioned. He was a videographer himself so he was also familiar with cameras. I was actually hoping he could give me some camera tips.

“I’m working with the Olentangy Local School District with photographing their sporting events!”

“That’s where my Mom worked!” Tyler laughed.

“Just sporting events?” Josh looked up from his meal with his left eyebrow raised.

“Yeah, why?”

“What about the band? Theatre? Choir? The arts?”

“That’s true,” Tyler agreed. 

“The sports are just more important I guess,” I shrugged and smirked over at Josh. “Plus I don’t get to choose what I photograph.”

“I think that’s exciting! I knew you liked to take pictures but I didn’t realize you were a photographer,” Mark announced.

“I wouldn’t call me a photographer, but thank you!”

“Can we see some of the photos that you have taken?” Josh asked. I was surprised that he wanted to see them out of all the boys, but it made me excited. 

“Sure, I have some of my favorites saved on my phone.” I pulled out my phone and opened it up to the album titles ‘favs’. I clicked on the first photo, which happened to be of the sunset at a beach with a couple holding hands. I handed my phone over to Josh and Tyler and Mark were quick to look over his shoulder.

“Sav, these are amazing!” Mark said.

I smiled, “Thank you!” It means a lot coming from Mark since he was really into cameras and all that sort of stuff. I still consider myself to be new to the photography world.

“Yeah, you’re super talented,” Josh whispered as he handed me the phone back. His fingers brushed against mine as I grabbed my phone. I quickly shoved my phone back into my sweatshirt pocket and looked away. A shiver ran down my spine.

************

Tag list: @takenvysleep @fromcalmto-ill @svintsandghosts @reginawashere15 @breadbinishigh @ohprettyweeper

[wesker20]

Fallen Hero 1.5 Episode 13 Revenge: One Month Later

Episode 12: The Rise of Sidestep Part 2: My Name...

           One Month Later…

           You got to give credit to Zeta. He’s patient. One month and nothing. Not a zip. Just silence. So much silence that you have returned to your deeds as Mastermind as if everything was normal. Your crew seems more comfortable with you. Or less uncomfortable with you. They seem to have accepted what you did at Bloodmoon or at the very least don’t think about it that much. Surely Jane’s presence has helped with that too. She is the more approachable part of you after all.

           Argent has been on your ass lately too. She seems a bit more pissed off compared to your earlier encounters. More determined. But not as much as you expected taking into consideration what happened at Bloodmoon.

           Red Doll is another one. She has taken to chasing you like a dog chasing a bone. Only that instead of playing with the bone the dog wants to tear it apart, burn it to ashes, and then throw the ashes on a volcano. And that’s on top of all the other vigilantes who now chase you, not just because they want to get a reputation now, but because they now have a reason to hate your guts. If it was reputation as a bona fide villain that you wanted, you have it.

           The underworld, on the other hand, has changed their tune and now you are practically the boogeyman. All of the gangs that took your name suddenly disappeared and new gangs emerged to take their place; gangs composed of former members of the previous gangs.

           All in all, you are not sure whether to hug Zeta for his unintentional help with the underworld, or strangle him for making your current life a living hell with all of Los Diablos heroes on your ass.

           Rangers HQ – Kitchen

           “Everything alright?” Ortega asks, bringing you back into reality. Well, the present reality rather than the past reality.

           “Yeah, I’m fine. Just, thinking,” you tell her, which is not that much of a lie. These chats have become something of a welcome distraction lately. Whenever you are not planning for your next hit, or waiting for Zeta to make his move, you have come here to either talk or help out however you could. Kept you away from thinking too much about other things. Thinking about other memories…

           “What about?”

           “Well, a lot. You with all the stuff that’s been happening in the last couple of months.” She stares at you with a soft look, almost as if processing everything that has indeed happened.

           She chuckles. “Don’t break your head over it. Trust me.”

           “Speaking from experience?” you say with a smirk. She probably is.

           “Yeah…” she sighs.

           You wonder if you should ask her about it. She was not there but she still saw the end result. And Argent was there too. You know you would not want anyone to witness that, let alone one of your friends. “Want to talk about it?” you finally say dropping your casual tone.

           “There’s not much to talk about. I wasn’t there. Angie was, and… well… she’s not exactly sharing it.” In her shoes you wouldn’t. You can barely think about it without shivering. Or at least you used to. Now you feel… nothing. Almost as if those emotions have been hidden away or gotten erased. You wonder if it has to do with the fact you were the one responsible for Bloodmoon.

           “Never took Argent for a sharer.”

           “She really isn’t,” she begins and pauses, looking at you with a quizzical look on her face. “A lot like you actually.”

           You chuckle a bit. “Really? How?”

           “You are both always so reserved and closed. Like try to live a little but no, you prefer that tiny little world of yours. Powers away, you two are lot alike.” She takes a sip of her drink.

           “If I didn’t knew you any better, I’d say you were trying to set us up,” you joke, taking a sip of your drink, hiding your chuckle.

           She spits drink, laughing. “Oh god, no,” she begins taking a napkin to clean herself up. “That would be so hard, just to get you two to…” she stops herself, tapping her chin as if deep in thought. “Although…”

           “No!” you cut her off a little too quickly.

           She simply smiles. “oh come on.”

           “No. I’m an asshole and I can barely deal with myself. Let alone two assholes. Besides last I checked I wasn’t even worth a glance.”

           “Angie is not…” she taps her chin. “Ok yeah, she can be. But trust me, once you get on her good side, she’s actually very sweet. Again, kind of like-”

           “Don’t say it,” you cut her off, eating the last piece of your chocolate bar and throwing the paper at the trashcan. “I’m not interested.”

           “Sure you are. Who are you lying to,” a third voice chimes in. The last voice you wanted to hear today. Jane’s voice. Or rather, the Jane from your head. “Be honest. You want to get on with that silver lady, rip her clothes off and see that sexy body. You want to feel that skin on yours like a-” ‘stop it’ you tell her mentally. At least one thing you have learned in the last month about her.

           “Besides, since when do you play matchmaker?”

           “Since I’ve had to deal with you two idiots,” she chuckles. You put your hand on your chest, faking offense.

           “Julia Ortega, you wound me.” She laughs and takes another sip.

“I’m honest. You need some social life, she needs a social life. You were practically made for each other.”

“I fail to see how that would even work. Besides she’s not my type.” At that Ortega completely spills over her drink.

“You want me remind you of Luna?” Oh god no. Not that. Luna is an assassin you fought back in your Sidestep days. She was hired to kill some business men, and you, like the naïve idiot that you were, jumped in to protect them. Sufficient to say you two did have something of a chemistry. Nothing came of it, of course, but Ortega always teased you about it, even threatened to take a picture and post it on the fridge once. As for her mission, Luna was not known to fail, and fail she did not. One of your several loses you could say. You shake your head in shame as Ortega laughs again.

Silence overtakes for several minutes before a wonder comes to mind. “By the way, where’s Herald?”

           “Where else, in a press conference with the Mayor regarding the last couple of months.”

           “Poor kid. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.”

           “Still remember the days when I was the one there?.” You simply nod. Ortega was always called to represent the Rangers and you were always dragged into it; unless you wanted to stay alone with Steel. You made sure to keep yourself hidden so that they wouldn’t find you, but that did not protect you from the reporters, politicians, and others. You feel pity for Herald, even if he looks good on camera and can probably take it, playing second fiddle to the Mayor is never pretty.

           “Remember how we always had to sneak away ‘cause your fans would surround us?” you tell her.

           She laughs. “Yeah. My favorite one was when we had to use the bike to get away.” You groan at the memory. Ortega was the driver and you were the unfortunate passenger. You never let Ortega drive you in a bike ever again after that.

           “You mean the time you nearly killed us?” you chuckle.

           “Oh come on, it wasn’t that bad.” You simply stare at her, wishing that you could get in her head to pass on the memory of the day. But it seems the look on your face says it all. “Alright, maybe it was that bad. But admit it, you had fun.”

           “Definitely more fun than your disappointed fans.”

           “Yeah. Surprised I still have some.”

           “You do?”

           She nods. “Yeah. Hell, couple of days ago this journalist came and told me he was a fan.”

           “huh, Journalist?”

           “Yeah, an independent one. He has some magazine apparently.” You sigh while smiling.

           “Guess you still have it even in your old age,” you tease. You immediately raise your hands in surrender as she stares at you. “Don’t shoot me,” you say and the two of you just laugh it off. “What’s the name of the magazine anyway? Maybe I’ll check it out.”

           “It was…” she taps her chin trying to remember. “…ta. Something with ta. Ta, ta, ta. Zeta magazine.” You feel your heart stop beating, your body freezes over, and the smile you had been sporting up until now fades into a straight line. You manage to hide it all from Ortega and continue.

           “What did he looked like?” Please don’t say smaller than me with brown hair. Please don’t say smaller me with brown hair.

           “He was small. Smaller than you actually. And brown hair. Dressed with a white long sleeves shirt.” Your stomach twists and turns. Her voice fades away, everything fades away as you lock yourself in your mind. He was here, Zeta was here. And he spoke to Ortega. Why?

           “-member the name, sorry.” Ortega’s voice brings you back to reality. “Everything alright?”

           “Yeah, yeah. I just remembered something.”

           “Anything important?” you shake your head.

           “I’ll be going now. Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day.” It really will be now.

           “Sure. I’ll take you to the entrance.” You feel the instant need to tell her you know the way. But that would just raise some eyebrows and reveal how nervous you are, so you let her.

           The walk to the entrance is painful, you count every second that passes, every breath you take, and the people in your way just irritate you beyond believe.

           “Well good news is your plan worked,” you hear Jane’s voice right next to you, keeping up with you as a third invisible member to your walk. “Bad news is you should have expected it to be something like this.” You don’t even bother to answer her. You know. You should have predicted this. But you didn’t. You expected him to maybe attack someplace else, maybe give you a call threatening you. You never expected him to actually go after the Rangers. It’s suicide if he wishes to remain unnoticed.

           You arrive at the entrance and give your goodbyes to Julia. You wait for her to get as far away as possible before you begin your desperate sprint out. You don’t bother to excuse yourself as you bump into everyone outside, they do not matter at the moment. You have to get back to your hideout and plan out your next move. You’ve had one month to think it up, but you could barely come up with something without knowing what Zeta would try next. Now that you have an idea, you can get something.

           He came to Ranger and talked to Julia, specifically her. No doubt because he knows what you two had. So what was his purpose? Information gathering? Makes sense with his cover as an independent journalist. But then why did he name his magazine after himself? That’s just stupid, straight up sloppy. You don’t use something that obvious unless… unless you are not trying to hide. Unless you expect the person to relay the name to an intended target.

           Your phone rings. Damn it, who could be now. You grab the phone and look at the number. Unknown…

           You push ‘send’ and slowly raise it to your ear. “What!?” you say, your voice bitter.

           “I like your friend Ortega. She reminds me a lot of Alpha. I see why you fell for her.” your heart stops again as you try to hold back whatever this is that’s rising through your body. “I can see why you replaced Alpha with her.”

           “I did not replace anyone.”

           “Yes you did. The rangers, that crew of worthless criminals? They are all replacements for us. Your team. The team you destroyed.”

           “I-” you begin but the words stay on your throat.

           “If you haven’t been wishing for all of those things you wouldn’t have had to replace us at all because nothing would have happened. We would have all stayed together and alive.”

           “I told you to come with me. You refused.”

           “Because I told you that there was nothing for us out here. And even if there was, there was no escaping the farm. I mean look at you. You escaped and got captured anyway.” You gulp. The memories of those days coming back to you, but you bury them down. “and now you are a villain, hurting people like that Red Doll girl. You remember her boyfriend, right? How you crushed his skull with your bare hands?”

           “What do you want Zeta? If you want me dead I’m right here.” You hear him laughing at the other end.

           “You don’t deserve death. Death is a rest. It’s a better alternative than what happened to Alpha. You don’t deserve that rest. No. I want your whole world to collapse on you and for you to sit on that empty world with nothing at the end. Starting now.”

           “What do you mean?”

           “I want to play a game, Jeremy.” He says your name with mockery, as if it a filthy thing to say. Your name. Her name. Her gift. “I call it, how fast can you save your friends without them noticing. I mean you could tell them. But then you would have to explain to them who I am and why I’m after you. And how I was sneaky enough to set up a bomb inside their headquarters.” You feel yourself choking.

           “What!”

           “I put a bomb. Don’t disarm it, and it goes boom, adios half of Rangers HQ and about 10 miles worth of streets and people. Disarm it, and you still have to get it out without anybody noticing. Again, unless you are willing to explain it all to them, it makes no difference to me. And because I’m feeling generous today I’ll give you a general area to search. The bomb is in the visitors’ area. Yeah, I know. Not the most structurally important site, and trust me if it was up to me I would have set it deeper but, you know, security in there is more than even I can handle. And besides what fun is a game if I put it in an impossible area for you to reach. Good luck. You have about thirty minutes before everything goes kabloom.” Before you can answer the line goes dead.

           Thirty minutes. Julia is probably still in the visitors area, and even if she wasn’t, she is still probably close to it. Ten miles radius. You have a slight idea what bomb he is talking about. Another bomb they taught you to build at the farm, meaning that you could disarm it.

           “Wo, wo, wo. Hold on a second there,” the Jane presence shows herself again. “You are not going to play his game are you?”

           “Does it look like I have a choice?”

           “Yeah, you do. Turn around and walk away. It’s not your problem their security sucks.”

           You stare at her in disbelieve. And then turn back to the building and prepare to walk in, ignoring Jane’s outburst about how you are going to get yourself, and in turn her, killed. And she just might be right.

           Shit.

           You barge through the front door, once again not excusing yourself from bumping into everyone. Whatever you do, you can’t let Julia, Argent, or Steel see you. Thankfully, or not depending on your point of view, the building is crowded today. Probably has something to do with that press conference. You head straight for the visitors area, not a second to waste.

             Now at the visitors’ area what’s left is to figure out where the bomb is. You can’t blindly search for it; it would be a waste of time to do so, especially with the building so crowded. Think, think, think. Where would Zeta put it, where would you put it?

           You replay the conversation in your head, trying to find a clue. A hint. A slip, anything. You check your clock, eight minutes have passed since the call. You may only have twenty two minutes, maybe less if you account for the lost time in the conversation. It has to be something small so that Zeta could have snuck it in. But even small there is the risk of someone finding it, so he would need to put it in a place where no one but you would find it.

           Shit. You have nothing. Every area you have visited has spots where it could be found. Maybe up. No, you look up but the ceiling is one piece. No way to tear one part off and plant a bomb. The builders here took precautions. Then Jane screams to you.

           “Idiot, can’t you feel that!?” indeed you do. A certain mind that you would recognize anywhere: Argent.

           You immediately hide behind a crowd. You hope her vision does not notice you, or if it does, it confuses you with the others. You are not certain it will work but you have to try. If she finds you, even if she ignores you, she would probably tell Julia and she thinks you are already out. You see Argent pass through the crowd, ignoring several of them, and thankfully steps into an elevator. You breathe a sigh of relief. But not for long, bomb, still counting. You check your clock: you have lost four more minutes. eighteen minutes or less. Shit.

           You force yourself through the crowd, heart pumping, sweat sliding down your forehead. Where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE… you can’t think, you can’t, not with all these thoughts overwhelming you, all of these people. You had forgotten how much you hated crowds for this exact reason. Their worthless worries creeping into your head like worms, overtaking you, blind to the danger that they are in. They scream and yell, moan and whine about how unfair everything is when they have a FUCKING BOMB THAT WILL KILL THEM ALL. SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!

           “You shut up you idiot,” Jane’s voice echoes in your head. You feel her hand on your shoulder and turn to see her. “If you use your powers here you will be found. Keep it quiet. Breath.” You obey her. “Breath. Now calm down and think. I’ll block them out.” You don’t bother questioning her. So far she has only been able to manifest, but not use your powers. How will she block them? You don’t understand but it works, their thoughts vanish from your mind. Even your more negatives thoughts disappear, as if hidden away, only reason, pure cold logic and reason. You realize the answer was in front of you all along.

           The kitchen, the place you have visited the most, where you always end up in, where you have spent all your talks with Julia, and even Herald. However it has many spots where it could be found, Zeta had to hide it in one place no one would check. Under the sink? No, if something broke, they would call someone to fix it and they would check it. Under the table even less, anyone can check that. Inside the fridge? Argent would have found it by now, and something tells you Zeta would have noticed too. Behind the fridge? Like the sink if the fridge broke, they would move it and find it. But it does have more possibility.

           You arrive at the kitchen with eight minutes to spare. Thankfully no one was here. Before checking behind the fridge you check on your eliminated possibilities just to be certain. As you expected neither under the table nor the kitchen sink. You check behind and you hear it, a slow beeping. Low enough to be covered by the fridge’s motor but clear enough if you are looking for it.

           You check outside, making sure no one is coming. You check for cameras. There are cameras but you notice they are off. All but one. Shit. Zeta is watching you. You make sure to flip him off just to release some of the fury you are feeling right now. You begin moving the damn thing as much as possible. Damn, it’s heavy. Even as empty of snacks as it is right now, it’s probably the heaviest thing you have had to move out of your suit in a while. Oh how you miss your suit right now. You could have moved out this thing like a toy. But alas, you can’t. So you hold onto it, bite the scream of your muscles away and pull the fridge away from the wall. Not by much, but enough that you can squeeze through and with an outstretched arm you grab it.

           You can’t describe what you are feeling right now, your heart begins beating again, air flows through your lungs again. Finally you can disarm this thing and get it over wi-

           “Oh shit,” both you and the Jane presence say at the same time as you stare at the bomb. Same type of bomb you were taught to make. You could disarm it with your eyes folded. Or in your sleep. That’s not the problem. The problem with this one versus the one he set in your hide out is simple: the substance. The nitro. The formula is highly explosive. After a certain amount of sudden movements it can explode: with or without detonator. So not only do you have to disarm this thing, you have to carry out the bottle with the substance, making sure not to make too many sudden movements, in a place filled to the brim with people, and then find a way to get rid of it. You take a deep breath. You need it.

           As you expected your work is done almost as fast as you begin, little more than thirty seconds to disarm the detonator. Now all you have to do get this highly explosive agent out of the building. Easy…

           You put the detonator on one of your pockets. You grab the agent and put your hand inside one of your pockets. You take another breath. At least you no longer have a ticking clock.

           You step slowly out of the kitchen, making sure there is no Ranger in the distance. You turn on your ‘don’t look at me’ aura and another ‘get out of my way aura’ to ensure your survival and theirs. Not that is easy. The place is still filled to the brim and people are not fast enough to get out of your way. So you are forced to take each and every step with careful consideration, keeping an eye out for any stray thoughts that may come from any of the rangers. Well except Julia. You can’t feel her…

Shit! You forgot about that!

           You breathe again, calming down. You’ll come up with something to say if you find her, you are capable of that much at least.

           You continue your way, going through the crowd and into the elevator, which fills just as much. You glue yourself to the corner, making sure no one can bump into you. You step out of the Elevator without missing a beat. That’s it, you are close to the lobby. Just several meters more and then…

           You bump into someone. Your heart stops, your breath gets stuck in your throat, and your body freezes…            “Watch where you are going!” the man yells at you before moving on. You don’t quite process his words. Your mind still realizing you are alive and unharmed. For now.

           “OK, we are fine and dandy. Now move it!” Jane says. You don’t have to be told twice. You head for the entrance and finally walk out and down the steps. Yes! You did it! You are out. Now to get rid of it. You can go to one of the docks and throw it away. Or maybe keep it and use it in the future. It’s not every day you get this kind of explosive. Either way, you are out and now all that’s left is to…

           You feel the shockwave before hearing the boom. A thundering boom that breaks through your ears. An explosion, far from here. The shockwave takes you down into the pavement. The nitro falls out of your hands. You watch as it bounces once. You don’t wait to see it bounce away you stand up and run back to Rangers HQ, far away, before…

           You don’t hear this explosion. Instead you feel it. You turn just in time for the shockwave to hit you in the stomach, sending you through the entrance and into the lobby. You cover your face by instinct, as glass digs into your back and arms. You roll on the ground and hit something. You don’t know what but it stops you from rolling. Somehow you don’t lose consciousness. Not that it matters.

Your body screams in agony, your vision blurs, and the last thing you want is to get up. But you do. Using your training you push through the pain, ignoring it, switching it off for now. You don’t need it. Right now what you need is to get your head back in the game. Your vision clears and you see the mess. Debris and glass everywhere. People bloodied, some of them on the ground, whether dead or unconscious, you can’t tell.

“Medics, get here and help these people,” you hear the familiar voice of Steel. You turn to see him helping some people while ordering security. Well no need to hide this time at least. You stumble down but you feel a hand grab you before you fall, a silver hand. Argent.

You turn to see her staring down on you and helping you to sit. “Hey there. How’s your day?” you joke because that’s the only thing that will keep you sane right now.

“I don’t know. You tell me. You look worse than Ortega on a bad day.”

“Ah, finally decided to talk to me? Nice. All it took was an explosion.”

“Keep talking and I’ll drop you on your head.”

“Duly noted.”

“Stay here. I’m sure Julia is on the way.” She doesn’t stop to see your nod, heading towards Steel who relays some orders to her.

“Jeremy!” And there’s Julia. “What are you doing here?”

“Had to go to the bathroom so I came back and… well you take a look.” It was as good an excuse as you could muster at the moment.

“What happened?” she asks, taking a more professional tone, but still clearly worried.

“I heard one explosion. Far off. I don’t know where. Next thing I know I was flying through the door.”

“There were two?” she asks. You nod. She turns and calls for Steel. He looks at you with that same unreadable face that he always has.

“What is it?” he asks.

“There were two explosions. One was far off.” She tells him. Steel remains thoughtful for a second before turning to you.

“Do you remember the direction of the explosion?” you shake your head. You barely even had time to process there was one. “Try to think. From which side did you heard it?” you do as he says because, as hurt as you are, you are just as curious to know where that other explosion came from. And you get the sense Steel is on to something. You think back to your position, you were looking towards the street, back to the entrance. You heard the boom from your left ear. But you just told Julia you were heading in, so you can’t tell Steel you were heading out.

“I was heading into the building again,” you begin, he listens without an expression. “Right side. I heard the first explosion on my right.” Both Steel’s and Julia’s eyes widen and they look at each other. “What?” you ask, although you might have figured out the answer. Julia turns to you.

“That direction?” she points sheepishly. You nod. “That’s the direction of the-.”

“The press conference,” you cut her off.

Shit…

Episode 14 Revenge: The Voice

[theleastcarefulofgamedevs]

All of the nosy asks (except ones that make you uncomfy)!!! >:3

@fujisakideservedbetter you’re getting revenge,,,,

---

0: Height

About 5′5 or 5′6!1: Virgin?

Yes, but there’s some complications there that I’d rather not elaborate on.2: Shoe size

I think 6.5s or 7s?3: Do you smoke?

Nope!4: Do you drink?

Nope!5: Do you take drugs?

Nope!6: Age you get mistaken for

13 or 14 aeiowngeniwgoiaenwigoanw7: Have tattoos?

Nope!8: Want any tattoos?

Nope!9: Got any piercings?

Nope!10: Want any piercings?

Nope!11: Best friend?

Probably our current DM for our dnd campaign!12: Relationship status

Single, but talking to someone :)

(skipped 13, 14 for comfort)

15: Favorite movie

Into the Spiderverse!16: I’ll love you if

You’re respectful of others’ boundaries and generally willing to put up with me,,17: Someone you miss

My aunts or my pet cats.18: Most traumatic experience

There’s a lot to choose from there, really.19: A fact about your personality

I’m laid back very often, and frankly, I worry that that makes others worry for me. Probably not, though. There’s a lot that goes on in the inner workings that people outside would have no idea of, but that’s most people’s experiences, too.

20: What I hate most about myself

I have a very strong negativity bias in that I remember bad things that happen way more than good ones.

21: What I love most about myself

I’m very compassionate and open to listening to multiple people’s experiences and sides of a story.

22: What I want to be when I get older

I’d like to be a writer and/or painter!

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

I don’t have any!

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

I’d rather not speak about my father, but my mom and I are really close. I feel a little bad because of how little I make an effort to talk to her, honestly.

25: My idea of a perfect date

Just chilling at home and playing games or watching a movie!

26: My biggest pet peeves

People that don’t allow me to explain myself whenever something occurs in which I’m being accused of doing wrong.

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

They’re very receptive and kind, and I’m glad that I’ve been able to talk to them a lot recently!

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

They run the country. Oh, and their underlings, too.

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

I... honestly don’t remember any big ones. I only really tell white lies, because I don’t like lying or dishonesty when it comes to big important stuff.

30: What I hate the most about work/school

The people, really. Teachers, students, everyone’s just a complete hassle.

31: What your last text message says

“it’s ok! thank u”

32: What words upset me the most

Probably mentions of r*pe, cs/a, etc

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

Probably compliments on my work or small things that people notice! It’s nice to know that even small stuff is being noticed.

34: What I find attractive in women

Probably less about them and more about what I can understand about them. That sounds odd, so let me elaborate. If I can relate to them or we’re similar, that’s a big draw, and honestly, I don’t exactly follow lots of modern standards for them or myself, so... that’s not an issue.

35: What I find attractive in men

^

36: Where I would like to live

Japan! It’s a v pretty place :3

37: One of my insecurities

Due to some stuff that happened when I was a kid, I’ve had sensory issues for a lot of my life, and I’m not able to eat lots of types of food, so I always get insecure about not only explaining it, but also about what kinds of food I *can* eat because it’s pretty nontraditional.

38: My childhood career choice

I used to wanna be a wrestler eoubaguiowbguiow

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

Anything chocolate!

40: Who wish I could be

Someone cooperative, respectful, respectable, and caring.

41: Where I want to be right now

Right here or playing D&D, honestly. Actually, both.

42: The last thing I ate

Fast food,, actually I haven’t eaten since this morning awobgaweuiobgaw

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

im gonna sound like a fucking moron for this but either chiaki nanami or vriska serket i can’t make this shit up

44: A random fact about anything

In Persona 4, an optional boss, Margaret, has an attack named Titanomachia that one-hit kills your entire party. In Persona 5, this attack is gained by one of the few DLC Personas, however, it isn’t an instant kill attack, and is simply a powerful Almighty skill.

[purplesurveys]

1090

survey by --ranboweyes--

1.] What age is your youngest aunt? I have a relative who’s technically my aunt since she’s a cousin of my mom, but she’s like 3 years younger which makes her 18-19ish, I think. 

2.] Do you miss someone right now? The only thing I’m missing is the weekend which is quickly ending lol.

3.] What can you see to the Northwest to you? I can see our living room couch.

4.] Do you like bowling? I love bowling. I wish I could do it all the time, only if a session wasn’t so expensive.

5.] Can you pronounce Italian words? I mean I can try saying the words but I know I’m definitely not pronouncing them in the native accent. @justsurveys​ definitely can though, heh.

6.] Do you prefer black or beige colored jackets? I have more black ones, but I’m not opposed to trying out beige.

7.] Do you own a hoodie? Yes, I’m wearing one right now because it’s pretty chilly tonight.

8.] Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I’ve only done this once, which was in like Grade 3 when we had an overnight thingy in school and our teacher planned a bonfire for us. But I’m not a fan of marshmallows at all so the answer to this is no.

9.] Do you like cheesy puffs? No. I prefer other snacks.

10.] What's your name without vowels? Rbyn or Rbn, if we’re counting out the letter y.

11.] How many layers of clothing are you wearing? Just two, which is always the case if I do have to wear more than one layer; I have a shirt under my zipped-up hoodie. I’ve only ever had to wear multiple layers once; it was when we were in Sagada and I had to wear 4 or 5 layers if I didn’t want to shiver to death.

12.] When was the last time you got a takeaway? What did you have? I usually dine in the restaurant altogether or go to the drive-thru, but never takeout. Today, though, I did order a chicken barbecue at Starbucks originally meant to be for dine-in; but I got sad in the middle of my time there so I only had a few bites and brought the rest home. Which I guess technically counts as takeout.

13.] If you could climb any mountain or range which would you chose? Mount Pulag because I’ve heard so much about it and it’d be nice to experience it for myself.

14.] Do you alphabetically arrange anything in your room? What? Nope.

15.] Have you ever visited fat-pie.com? No.

16.] Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet.

17.] Do you like Flo Rida? Which song of his? I mean, not really. There are a few songs he’s featured in that I find catchy, like Right Round, but I don’t like like them.

18.] How's your dancing skills? There aren’t any to speak of. 

19.] What is your favorite number? I don’t have any. The idea of favorite numbers personally never made sense to me, but I do recognize that they can mean a lot to some people.

20.] Describe your best friend to me? She’s incredibly smart and creative, very motherly and responsible, and always knows the right questions to ask when her friends are troubled and what advice to give.

21.] What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Peach soju, Long Island Iced Tea, Zombie, and tequila are some of my favorites. I’m generally a fan of cocktails though, and I love it whenever bars have their own lineup because it lets me see how creative they get and because it also allows me to try their own spin on mixed drinks.

22.] Do you do any sports or have you done any sport professionally? I play table tennis, but I never played professionally or had formal training. It was a club I joined in middle school just because Angela dragged me but I ended up enjoying it, so I played and played until I unconsciously got better.

23.] What is your ringtone? Just the default Apple ringtones; I never changed them.

24.] Do you like chili flavored chips/crisps? Sure! Chili peanuts are great, too.

25.] Do you curl or straighten your hair? I don’t do either with my hair unless I’m headed to a special/fancy occasion.

26.] What's the nicest smell of shampoo? We used to have this brand that housed black shampoo and it smelled super elegant and nice, but I have no idea how to describe the scent.

27.] What smell turns you on? How about turns you off? It’s generally a turn-on when people make an effort to smell nice, e.g. applying perfume several times a day. BO and the smell of the sun are my main turn-offs.

28.] Whose your favorite comedian? I’ve only been able to watch a couple of her skits but Sindhu Vee is pretty high up on my list. I’m not really too big on comedians, though.

29.] RnB or Reggae? R&B, by a mile.

30.] What brand of batteries do you usually get? I/We haven’t had to use batteries in such a long time.

31.] Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A good number of people from my high school now have kids, but I don’t consider any of them friends.

32.] What is in your medicine cabinet? We don’t have one since no one in the family needs to regularly take meds. We do have a jar in the kitchen for multivitamins that my parents take every night.

33.] What's your favorite aspect of the natural world? The ocean. < I’d say so too. Mountain ranges are also beautiful.

34.] What's your favorite man made thing? Probs the internet.

35.] Can you whistle properly? Yasss.

36.] What song do you think is the most widely heard in the world? Happy Birthday or some Christmas jingle.

37.] Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I mean...I think fast food restaurants are ubiquitous by nature, so I’ve never seen one and went, “That’s not supposed to be there,” lol. Whenever I spot a fast food restaurant, I’m usually able to make out the reasoning behind positioning it wherever it happens to be.

38.] What countries surround your country? Or are you not land locked? We’re an archipelago, so. Not land-locked. But the nearest countries are Malaysia, Vietnam, Taiwan, and Indonesia.

39.] Do you own binoculars or nonoculars? What do you use them for? I don’t own either.

40.] Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze? I have always wanted one, yeah. I’ve always dreamed of placing it in my future living room, though.

41.] What's your favorite chocolate bar? Not a bar, but I like Reese’s peanut butter cups the most.

42.] Do you fall asleep easy in cars? How about planes, trains and boats? Unless I am extremely tired, it’s usually hard for me to fall asleep while in transport.

43.] Would you rather live a year of your life in every major country or stay in the same place you live forever without vacations? The latter sounds like an unfulfilling life to me, to be honest. Like I can’t even take vacations??? As much as I like routine, I do enjoy a bit of spontaneity and I think moving to a new country every year can do that for me.

44.] What will you not tolerate in a person? Someone who will make you feel stupid for asking a question. Also those who always have something mean to say about everyone.

45.] Do you forgive others easier or yourself? Why is this? Forgiving isn’t really in my vocabulary to be honest. Hahaha. I’ve always been more at peace this way.

46.] How was God made, if he exists? Key word here is if, so I’m skipping this question because it’s irrelevant to me.

47.] Have you ever done aqua aerobics or polo? Yeah we had to do a bit of water polo in swimming classes in high school.

48.] What age were you when you learned how to swim? I guess around 2? I have baby photos from when I was that age wherein I was having fun in our old inflatable pool. Swimming came naturally to me and I don’t think I ever had trouble with the water.

49.] What shows or characters scared you as a child? You know how older cartoons only featured the legs of some characters, like the housemaid in Tom & Jerry or the lady from Powerpuff Girls? The uncertainty of those characters always made me feel unsettled as a kid.

50.] Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I always go to bed well after 12 AM since my family usually holds a get-together for it.

51.] What's currently in your fridge? Some leftovers, some vegetables, essentials like bread and eggs, some condiments that need to be kept refrigerated.

52.] How about your freezer? Frozen goods like hotdogs and ham.

53.] What could you be doing now that is more productive? I should be working out but I’m skipping it for tonight because I hate Sundays, and I don’t want to make myself more tired than I already am.

54.] Give me some lyrics from the song that's stuck in your head? “Red lights, stop signs, I still see your face in the white cars, front yards...”

55.] What's your favorite type of firework? The grander the design the better for me, tbh.

[snowycrocus]

In the Shadow of the Sun- Frozen Fanfiction

Anna’s POV: Days before Coronation Day TL;DR: Elsa’s not the only one who has made sacrifices Please see notes at the end for the inspiration for this.

I don’t think I realized, as a child, how I had been hiding things from my family. Well, from my parents, anyway- I couldn’t really reveal anything to Elsa whether I wanted to or not.

It would have seemed natural, at any rate- hiding things is a normal thing in this family. Just ask my parents or Elsa- they’re certainly hiding something from me.

But I guess, even subconsciously, that after seeing too many dark smudges beneath my parents’ eyes, after catching Mama in tears or Papa slumped over his desk, lightly snoring, my childish mind, even then, led me to feel that I should be less of a burden to my overwrought parents.

Anna, Papa once told me, a princess must be strong for her kingdom.

Strong for a kingdom? I didn’t know anything about that- I had barely even seen the kingdom except from the windows of the castle.

But being strong for my family? Well, I had a lot more experience with that.

After Elsa stopped talking to me and hid away in her bedroom, things changed. Besides me not seeing her much anymore, that is.

Elsa! I used to call, hammering on her bedroom door. Come out and play! Do you want to build a snowman?

No Anna, go away.

It wasn’t that bad, at first. I had other things to do and other people to play with. Gerda would play dolls with me for a bit, sometimes, and Mama made sure to have weekly tea parties with me.

Papa would take me outside sometimes. He helped me during riding lessons and started games of tag. Even a few of the guards would play hide-and-seek with me as they patrolled the hallways.

But Elsa didn’t come out of her room. Elsa didn’t seem to be playing with anyone inside of her bedroom, either. It was always quiet.

When I saw Mama and Papa leaving Elsa’s bedroom, I asked, were you playing with Elsa?

They shared a glance- an unreadable glance that I now just recognize to mean “how much do you want to tell Anna?”

No, Sunflower, Papa would say to me. Elsa has to work on some things, now.

I didn’t know why Elsa wouldn’t talk to or play with me. But she should at least be playing with somebody.

That night at dinner, I came to the table with my knit puffin doll.

It’s for Elsa, I said, solemnly holding the puffin out to my parents, head bowed. She needs someone to play with.

If I couldn’t be there to play with my sister in person, I had to provide someone or something that could.

Mama says that when she was pregnant, Elsa asked for the baby to be a sister for her third birthday. When I was born, it only took a minute until she couldn’t leave me out of her sight.

I love my sister so much, even now, and I’m used to the way our relationship works. But I can’t help wondering to myself- what changed?

I hate my hair - tangled masses of bright coppery-red. Papa used to call me his sunflower because of the color of it.

It’s funny- you’d think with my coloring I’d be like the sun, while Elsa, with her pale skin and hair so light it’s almost white, would be like the moon.

But this universe here at Arendelle Castle works differently. I’m used to it, now- Elsa is the sun. And I’m the pale, pockmarked moon orbiting around her.

My tenth birthday had been pretty nice, as far as birthdays went in the castle after Elsa shunned me.

Papa cancelled all of my lessons for the day and he and I rode our horses to a small stream within the castle grounds. Mama surprised us (well, probably just me, as I’m sure Papa knew about it), as she later rode up to us on her own horse, carting around a large picnic basket.

We sat under the sun and ate my favorite sweets while I did cartwheels in the grasses and even went for a quick dip in the water. Papa didn’t even get mad at me when I splashed them.

Later in the early evening, Mama and Papa came into my bedroom, their arms loaded with wrapped gifts. I chose to open the smallest one first. I had learned long ago that the fun lasts longer if you save the best for last.

As I was struggling to untie the bow, suddenly there was a crash from down the hallway followed by some odd whistling and cracking sounds. My hands stilled as I stopped to listen. It sounded like it may have been coming from Elsa’s room.

Mama and Papa had already stood up and were by the door. They shared that look again as someone knocked on the door, booming and quick.

Both Kai and Gerda walked in. They looked tense. Kai’s posture was stiff - tight like he was being drawn up by puppet strings. Gerda’s hands were in fists by her sides.

Your Majesties, Kai started, there is an urgent matter we need your assistance with. His expression looked like he was trying to tell Papa something else entirely. Gerda threw me a sympathetic look, her eyes resting on my fingers still ensnared in the strings of the ribbon on my first present.

Mama and Papa ran out of the room and down the hall.

I opened my gifts alone that night.

When I was younger, I used to cry over everything. The tears would let loose if there was no more chocolate cake, if I scraped my knee, when I didn’t get a math concept or couldn’t conjugate a verb in Swedish.

But when I started seeing Mama crying, I felt that maybe I shouldn’t be crying so much anymore.

In the beginning of Elsa and my separation, Elsa would still come down to meals a few times a week. As time went on, it became more of a surprise occasion when I saw my sister at dinner. One time when she was sixteen a whole month passed when I didn’t see her at all.

But even when she came to dinner, she usually didn’t stay.

Sometimes after I said something, or even when I had been totally silent, Elsa would startle. Sometimes her silverware would clink as it fell from her hands and hit her plate. Sometimes she’d snatch her hands away from her water glass, the liquid sloshing out and making a puddle on the tablecloth. Or sometimes nothing would happen at all, and she’d just stand up abruptly and ask, no, more like plead to be excused.

Half the time she didn’t even wait for our parents’ answer and would just run out the door. Those were the times I saw tears sitting in the corners of Mama’s eyes as she turned her head to watch her eldest daughter go.

Elsa hadn’t finished her peas, but I don’t think Mama was crying over that.

Mama always came to tuck me in at night. First Elsa, then me- that’s the way it was ever since Elsa got her own room.

Mama would tuck the blanket in around me and then stroke my hair as I fell into deep slumber. But sometimes after running her fingers through my hair, her hands would continue - tracing my eyebrows and lips, fingertips fluttering over my eyelashes. She'd rub my shoulders, run smooth hands down my back and stroke my legs until she reached my toes. It all tickled and kept me awake 'til she was done. But I let her do it- on those nights that she touched me more she came in with reddened eyes that dripped hot tears on my skin and sheets. I didn't think she was touching Elsa like that, for some reason.

Other times, when I was in my own room, I would hear yelling from down the hall - Elsa’s room.

What’s all the commotion? I wondered.

The loud arguments seemed to peak in Elsa’s teens.

You’ll be moody too, Anna, when you’re a teenager, Papa would say when I caught him and Mama outside just after leaving Elsa’s room. It’s a rite of passage everyone goes through.

He would slip his arm around Mama’s waist as he said this, pulling her close and giving her a comforting squeeze.

But if this was a normal thing for teenagers, then why were tears coursing down Mama’s cheeks?

I saw Mama’s tears so much, even though I don’t think she meant for me to see them.

My own tears, on the other hand, stopped – there seemed to be enough crying in this family already; I didn’t need to add to it. I would be a good, strong girl, and brave, I told myself. I won’t add to their troubles.

They both loved me so much, I know that. And they always did their very best job to show me that they loved me. So to show them how much I loved them, I tried my very best to be less of a burden.

One night, when I was thirteen, I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back to sleep. I decided to take a quick trip out to the gardens- maybe some fresh air and the stars gleaming above me would clear my head and allow my mind to rest.

Passing my father’s study, I stopped just outside the door when I realized the candles were still burning inside. Father must be staying up late tonight working. That was when I heard the hushed whispers inside.

I can’t, Idunn. I won’t stop until I’ve found answers.

There’s nothing helpful in those books, Agdar, you’ve already tried! They’re just stories, and that’s all.

I will not rest until I’ve found an answer. There must be something, some way…

Agdar, you’re killing yourself. And me. This isn’t helping anybody. We’re all hurting and worried, I know. But driving yourself crazy isn’t going to help our family. Or the kingdom, which is beginning to suffer in your obsession.

BAM!!

I jumped back, startled.

Do not tell me what I should or should not do. My father’s voice became dangerous and deep. I am working to save everyone- our Elsa especially. You know, Idunn, what will happen if I do not succeed.

Mama sniffled, her voice breaking. I know, Agdar, I know. I’m just….I’m just tired. Tired of all of this.

I know, I’m exhausted too.

I hurried off to the garden. As tired as I was, too, I didn’t think I’d be able to get much sleep that night anymore.

Just a year or two ago, now, I was on my way upstairs from the kitchens after sneaking a quick snack. It was time for another lesson soon and I was dragging my feet. Why did I have to learn all this stuff if Elsa was the heir?

Turning the corner, my eyes widened and I came to a halt, nearly stumbling over my own feet in my surprise. Elsa was huddled in the corner of the hallway, right outside of the main conference room. I couldn’t believe she didn’t notice that I was standing there, watching – Elsa always seemed so cognizant of everything going on around her. I knew from past experience that if I made myself known she’d dart away like a rabbit. So I stood there and observed for a moment.

She looked so much like Mama now it was uncanny. Except that Mama didn’t shake like that. Or breathe like that.

Elsa was hugging herself, trembling against the wall. I could hear her breaths, short and ragged, all the way from where I stood out of sight.

My eyes darted to the conference room door. She must be expected at a council meeting. I guess she’s…nervous?

Elsa? I called softly, stepping carefully around the corner so she could see me. Her neck snapped up to me, her eyes growing wide at the sight of me but they were unfocused and hazy. Her stuttering breaths became even more rapid and uneven.

I took a few steps closer as she pushed herself into the corner as if she wanted to disappear into the wall. I stopped where I was, then – I knew Elsa liked her space. I couldn’t do anything – I’m not smart like Elsa, or well-spoken like Papa, or gentle like Mama. But I tried to be everything I loved about my family.

It’ll be alright, Elsa, I told her. I wish she would let me hold her hands. You’re going to make a great Queen someday. Papa told me that you’re so smart. All those stuffy old men are going to listen to you more than they do to Papa.

I don’t know if what I said helped- she still was trembling, her gloved hands still fisted in the pockets of her jacket, and her chest was still heaving. But I think that she was shaking less, and her fingers might’ve loosened, and I think she may have shown me just a ghost of a smile before she turned away from me and entered the room.

I stopped asking Mama to practice French with me. I stopped asking Papa to help me with my math lessons and history. My grades didn't drop, much. I had a lot more time to study without a sister to play with.

I stopped asking for help with my own problems because I saw that everything was weighing heavily on Mama and Papa - they were already stressed and busy what with running the kingdom. But mostly, I knew that they had their hands full with whatever was going on with Elsa. I know, I know - she’s the heir, she should take priority.

But sometimes I was struggling. Mama and Papa do their best with me, I know, to show they love me with the scant time they have. But I never told them about how the diplomat’s son, who I exchanged letters with often, broke my heart. I never told them about the weird cold spells I used to get some nights, waking up shivering and unable to warm myself. I never told them about that one guard that smacked me, about how I wanted new paintings to talk to, or that I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday if it was just going to make me sadder.

I just knew they couldn't take one more weight on their shoulders by worrying about me.

I know my family loves me - well, I know that Mama and Papa do - but ever since Elsa shut me out, Joan is the only one that really knows me. (I think she does, anyway – sometimes she can be a bit forgetful).

And now it’s just you and me, Elsa. What are we gonna do?

I can see that you’re trying to stay strong when you walk to your meetings, now. I’m trying to stay strong, too. I won’t bother you like I used to. You’re going to be a great Queen, soon. And even if you don’t want my help, I’ll always be there if you need me – your right hand.

I don’t mind being the moon if you’re the sun, Elsa- but especially now, when it’s just the two of us and the days are so dark- I wish I could see the sun sometimes (and not only from the shadows).

Thanks to @no-escape-from-the-storm-inside for reading this over for me and giving me some insight!

Have you seen the movie Wonder? If you haven’t, you should. If you don't know, the movie “tells the inspiring and heartwarming story of August Pullman. Born with facial differences that, up until now, have prevented him from going to a mainstream school, Auggie becomes the most unlikely of heroes when he enters the local fifth grade. As his family, his new classmates, and the larger community all struggle to find their compassion and acceptance, Auggie's extraordinary journey will unite them all and prove you can't blend in when you were born to stand out." (IMDb) So there's this one scene in it where you hear his sister's perspective on everything. Basically, she loves her little brother with all her heart but is kind of pushed to the side by her parents because they have so much to do with already with her brother's medical condition. In addition, she also makes sure to be the perfect daughter and student so that her parents don't have to worry about her, because they already have enough on their own hands. And it made me think of our Frozen family- the King and Queen already had so much on their plates what with running a kingdom, and now add on a child with ice powers that she can't control and they have to hide. The King and Queen probably spent more time overall with Anna than they did with Elsa, but Anna sees how preoccupied her parents sometimes are with whatever is going on with Elsa. And Anna loves Elsa despite this happening, but still wishes she got some more attention. AND Anna is making her own sacrifices and being strong for her family so she doesn't stress her parents out anymore than they already are- even though she doesn't know what's going on, just that SOMETHING is.

[surveysonfleek]

1003.

Have you ever talked to someone online, but when you saw each other in person, it was just super awkward? Have you ever made a really good friend online? eh, not really. everyone i’ve ever ‘met’ online have been a mutual friend so usually that friend just introduces us in person. there’s been awkward moments but nothing terrible.

Do you enter sweepstakes or scratch lottery tickets or anything like that? What’s the best thing you’ve ever won? i once won a meat tray during this raffle at a local bar hahaha. played the lotto once, didn’t win.

Right now, would you be upset if you got pregnant, or would you not mind? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? i’d be incredibly scared and confused because i’m in no way shape or form ready to be a mother but i’d definitely keep it. yes, i’ve had scares before, mostly from paranoia.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? i sure have.

Do you have any weird inside jokes? i have many with my boyfriend and friends.

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? i’d have to prepare for it, but probably. that’s what i’m aiming for.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? me.

Do you have alcohol in your house? yes.

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? of course. hasn’t everyone?

Are you a morning or night person? night.

What is your favorite color? turquoise.

It’s 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it? no idea. my boyfriend most likely.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yes.

Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday? yes.

Are any of your friends virgins? not that i know of tbh.

Do you prefer relationships or friends with benefits? relationships.

Has anyone got on your nerves today? no.

Has anyone told you they would never leave, and left? no.

Do you have a member of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yes.

Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yes.

Are you usually early or late? early or on time.

What’s annoying you? just life right now.

How is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing and where are they now? he’s good. he just went to sleep in his home.

Do you have anything to pay off? yes.

What are you wearing right now? pyjamas.

Do you know anyone that wants you dead? no.

Do you believe that regrets are lessons learned? yeah i guess.

Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them? my boyfriend through imessage.

First color name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow. purple.

What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in? phone, laptop, lamp.

What gaming consoles do you or your family own? xbox one.

What’s the best job you’ve ever had? probably the one i have now financially even though i hate it.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? ally for sure. so boring.

What email service do you use? gmail and hotmail.

Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in? just a corkboard with different things i’ve collected over the years.

Earliest moment in your life you can remember? being at a zoo.

What did you have for dinner yesterday? vietnamese food.

How often do you brush your teeth? at least once a day.

What’s your favorite candy/chocolate? kit kat i think. or crispy m&ms.

Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently? yeah i have a ‘main’ tumblr which i don’t use ever.

If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat? if anything was accessible, probably sushi.

What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of? lol none.

What kind of position are you in at the moment? lying on my back in bed.

Do you wear much jewelry? a few bits and pieces.

Furthest away from home you have ever been? barcelona.

How many times have you moved houses? i’ve lived in three different homes. this one now since 1999.

Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? work.

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? yes.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yes.

Who was the last person to comfort you as you cried? i forgot. probably myself.

Do your computer speakers work? yes.

Which friend are you most similar to? irene maybe. but kinda not.

Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? no.

Would you get back with your last ex if they asked you? no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? no.

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? yes.

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? hotel for sure lol.

Have you ever kissed anyone who’s name starts with P, J, R, M, C, or D? yes.

Is there someone you wouldn’t mind kissing right now? i wouldn’t mind but he’s at home.

Do you think your ex will ever want to be with you again? no.

Where would you rather live: England or Australia? i already live in australia. i don’t think i’d live in england tbh.

What’s your relationship with the last person you texted? boyfriend.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? why do i have a pimple?

Do you fall for people easily? no.

Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to? no.

Have you ever kissed someone who was drunk? yes.

The nearest window to you now - what color curtains are on them? grey.

The shade of the color of your eyes can be described as: dark brown.

When was the last time you drank alcohol? over a week ago.

At what age did you stop believing in Santa? maybe 5.

Do you own a wok? yes.

Is there a particular type of music you really don’t like? yeah, not a fan of country.

Do you like going to weddings? yes!

What do you have on your toast? nutella.

Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? marie.

Beach, city, or mountains? i’d like to try have a getaway near mountains.

Do you have a stapler at your house? yes.

Would you rather read a book or listen to an audiobook? read.

Which is larger - your book or dvd collection? book.

What is the last spontaneous thing you did? idk.

You get a call at 2:00 a.m. - your first thought is: who the fuck?

What is your middle name? rather not say.

What are you passionate about? traveling.

Do you have any fears? losing loved ones, cockroaches, driving to places i’m not familiar with.

Where are you from? sydney.

What’s your sign? sagittarius.

Future names of your children: not sure yet!

What are you listening to right now? nothing.

Do you believe in fate/destiny? kinda.

What are your career goals? not entirely sure. looking to change my entire field right now.

Something you are working on right now: looking for a new job.

Have you ever had a near-death experience? no.

Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early? i’m in between. i’ll do half straight away and the other half last minute.

TV shows and anime you watch regularly. i don’t watch anime. as for shows i’ve been watching atlanta, westworld, handmaid’s tale, rpdr and masterchef.

Halloween costume idea for this year? no idea.

Your best friend’s name. irene.

Do you prefer liquid, mousse, or powder foundation? Why? liquid. it just looks more seamless.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? nothing.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows? yes.

Do you worry about gaining weight? yes.

Have you ever used fake tan? only once. not nice.

Do you ever look at someone cute, and automatically make a move? no.

How many times have you been to Walmart in the past week? i haven’t.

Do you live in a house, apartment, or another type of arrangement? house.

Are you kind of a loner? Do you like being alone? i like being alone but i’m not always a loner.

Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses’ names? no.

Does your father have any creepy or scary friends you don’t like? no.

What color are the walls in the room you’re in right now? turquoise and grey.

Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? no.

Do you have any siblings who still believe in Santa, and are over age ten? no.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? white and it came with my phone.

Are you attracted to the last person that you fell in love with? yes.

What did you do yesterday? went out for mother’s day.

Something you really want right now? sleep.

If you could seek revenge on someone, would you? no.

How long have you liked the person you like? many many years.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? no.

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? yes.

Are you happy with the way things are going? no.

Would you ever get a tattoo? no.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? yes.

Who was the last person you talked to in person? my boyfriend.

What plans do you have for tomorrow? working.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? nope.

What happened at 9:00 a.m. today? nothing.

Where are your biological parents? sleeping.

Do you have any summer plans yet? no.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? yes.

What did you last drink? water.

Do you have trust issues? no.

Do you think this year will be better than the last? eh, maybe. we’ll see at the end of the year.

What are you doing? this.

Are you a jealous person? no.

Do you think age matters in relationships? to an extent.

Who is the last person you rode in a car with? my boyfriend.

Did you sing at all today? nah.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? in bed.

Are there any stressful situations in your life? yes.

Are your lips chapped at the moment? they’re never chapped, i can’t stand the feeling of dry lips so i take chapstick everywhere with me.

[ravenclawbaz]

New Year’s

Summary: Simon and Baz are both at Watford for new year’s and Simon just can’t allow Baz to go another year without having a new year’s kiss 

Word Count: 2655

Warnings: alcohol use (aka can u tell i’ve never been drunk in my life)

Also on AO3

Baz

For the first time, I'm not with my family for the new year. I was with them for Christmas morning, but after my father and I got in an argument, I thought it best to just pack my bags and return to Watford earlier than usual.

Being home for the holidays would usually be fine, if not for the fact that Snow is here too.

When I was in the rush of packing my bags and getting away from my father as quickly as possible, it had completely slipped my mind that Agatha didn't invite Snow to her house for Christmas this year. So now I'm stuck with him until Penny gets back and he’ll have an excuse to leave the room. (He leaves to talk to Ebb sometimes, but even she's too sad for him to be around for too long.)

It's new year's eve and I've been in the Catacombs for a few hours, avoiding Snow of course. I plan to stay down here until I am certain that he is asleep. But being December, the snow storm brewing outside may force me to go back to our room early. It’s not my fault I’m already so cold to begin with.

I drain the last rat I caught and start winding my way through the maze of corridors in the Catacombs. When I reach the doors of the White Chapel, I put the hood up on my coat and brace for the storm. The temperature isn't as bad as the thousands of little snowflakes pelting me in the face at an alarming speed.

I speed walk all the way back to Mummers House, brushing the snow out of my hair and coat once I'm inside the doors.

As I walk up to mine and Snow's room, I desperately hope that he is asleep. It's hard enough having to be around him during school, but seeing him over break is somehow even worse.

Being around him for the holidays manages to make my feelings even stronger. Maybe it's just because it's the only time when he isn't worked up over the Mage's requests, or the Humdrum. It could also be the fact that I'm head over heels for him and every minute that I am with him only drives me to fall deeper in love with him.

I prepare myself to open the door, staying as quiet as humanly (or inhumanly) possible in case he is asleep. But unfortunately, nothing ever seems to go my way. The lamp between our beds is on and he's sitting on his own, his face buried in what looks like one of his notebooks. I can see his shit handwriting from the doorway.

He looks up and watches as I take off my coat and hang it in my wardrobe.

"I didn't know you could read." I say, sitting on my bed. Because, of course, I can never pass up a chance to insult him. And no matter how much I do love him, my mouth doesn't like to pay attention to what my heart wants.

"That wasn't even a good one. You're getting lousy at insulting me, Baz." He rolls his eyes and pretends to not be upset, but the way the room gets a little warmer tells me that it bothers him.

I go into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me because I know he hates it, and change into my pyjamas. He's still in the same position when I lay down on my own bed, but he puts his notebook down when he does.

"Why did you come back?" He asks, folding his arms across his chest.

"Why is it any of your business?" I retort.

"Because you're my evil roommate. And when you do things that you've never done before, it makes me wonder what you're plotting." He's really reaching with his accusations. I'm not the only one who's getting lousy.

"If I was plotting anything, what makes you think I would tell you?" I don't wait for him to answer before I continue, "And if you're so eager to know, my father and I had a disagreement and I decided to come back from break early."

He thinks for a minute before getting up from his bed and grabbing something from our mini fridge. (We’re the only ones with a mini fridge, perks of having the Mage’s Heir I guess.) He sits back down, facing me this time, and says, "Well, since you're here now, it looks like we'll be celebrating the new year together!"

"Snow, is that alcohol?" I scoff. "Also, what makes you think I would willingly celebrate any holiday with you?" That's a lie, I would gladly celebrate any holiday with Snow. Hell, I'd even make up a holiday just so I could celebrate it with him.

"It's not like you could leave anyway. While you were gone, the Mage installed a new thing where past 10 o'clock, all the doors automatically lock." He grins at me, "Like some kind of weird curfew. You can still leave our room, but no more going down to the Catacombs past 10 for you."

"Are you serious?" Honestly, does the Mage think he can have that sort of control over students?

"Yeah. Fuck him, right?" Snow twists open the cap to the alcohol and takes a sip, wincing as it slides down his throat. (Is that vodka? What the hell Snow.)

"Did you just say 'fuck him' about the Mage?" I think I may need to get my ears checked. "Because correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought you were the Mage's Heir. Don't you get off on obeying his every command?"

He snorts at that, "That's gross, Baz. And sure, I'm technically the 'Mage's Heir', but I'm my own person. I don't have to agree with everything he chooses to do." He moves to take another sip from the bottle but I take it from him before he can.

“As much as I dislike you, I will not allow you to drink vodka straight from the bottle.” I place it on the table between our beds, “That’s gross and you know it.”

“What do you suggest I do then?” He asks.

“Have you ever even heard of mixing vodka with other things so that it is actually bearable?” He looks confused and I just sigh and shake my head, “How could I forgot that you’re the Chosen One. I doubt you’ve had much experience with alcohol.”

He stays sitting on the bed while I grab some soda water from the fridge.

“No.” He says before I’ve done anything, “I will not drink that. I’d rather chug this entire bottle of vodka than put my mouth anywhere near that sad excuse for a drink.”

“I hate to break it to you but that would probably kill you.” I sit back down on my bed and pick up a cup from next to my bed, tilting it to dump out all the water onto the floor.

“Baz what the hell?” Simon asks, gesturing towards the wet patch of carpet.

“Yeah I probably could have just magicked that out of the glass or something, but it’ll dry.” I turn my attention back to the soda water, emptying half of the can into the glass and filling both the can and the glass the rest of the way with vodka.

“Here.” I hand Simon the can and he takes it. He brings it up to his nose and sniffs it, making a face of disgust and shoving it back at me. “Crowley Snow, you’re so dramatic. It doesn’t even smell any different! Just drink it.”

He keeps the look on his face but drinks anyway. “It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, but I still hate you and your fancy soda water.”

I roll my eyes in disbelief and drink my own, not nearly as fast as Simon, but fast enough to be getting more soda water for the both of us shortly after. Simon may be bigger than me (not in height, he’s just very broad) but it becomes clear very quickly that he is somewhat of a lightweight.

When he gets up to get more alcohol, I stop him and convince him to instead drink some water. I may pretend to like him, but I’m not going to let him drink himself half to death. (Not that the amount of alcohol he has had would do that, he just worries me so the sooner he stops the better.)

We continue to talk about things. Not things like the Mage or the Humdrum or the war; things like Simon’s favorite shirt of his and my favorite ice cream flavor. (He likes the shirt he’s wearing now - a white t-shirt with a drawing of a goat on it that he just made. My favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip.)

We don’t talk for that long, and when we stop, he’s still not completely sober. He’s getting there though. He just sits across from me, tapping his fingers on his knee with no rhythm whatsoever. His gaze drifts to the clock and his eyes light up, "It's 11:53!" He exclaims, "Almost the new year!"

“Good observation, Snow.” I say.

"So, speaking of new year’s, have you ever had a new year’s kiss." I may not be completely sober either, but I still don’t like the way this is heading. Especially because I’m not sober, actually. They say drunk words are sober thoughts, but Snow cannot hear any of my thoughts.

"No." I answer anyway.

"Seriously?" His eyes fly open and he honestly looks offended. "No one has ever kissed you on New Year's? That's sad."

"It's not sad, Snow. There's nothing wrong with not having kissed anyone yet at my age." I still feel slightly uncomfortable with this conversation, and I know I wouldn’t be having it - or any conversation for that matter - with Snow if alcohol weren’t involved.

"Wait a second." He leans forward and looks like he's ready to have a serious conversation, "You've never kissed anyone? How is that possible?"

"It's not that hard to believe. It's simple, really." I shrug.

"How is it simple?" He asks.

"You see, I don't like anyone, nobody likes me, and none of us kiss." I say like it’s not a big deal, but it obviously is to Snow. (Why does he care so much?)

"That is not simple. It might make sense if you were anyone else in the entire world, but Baz Pitch? Never having kissed anyone?" He throws his hands up in the air and sighs, "How can you look like that and have no one wanting to kiss you?"

"I never said that no one wanted to kiss me, just that in my house, my Baz house, there are no reciprocated feelings so I save my kisses. Save them for a person who wants them." I ignore the last thing he said, hoping that if I do, maybe it'll go away. It doesn't.

"I just don't think it's fair. It's almost new year's and if you don't get a new year's kiss now, you'll have to wait an entire year to have another chance at it. The least we can do in this situation is just kiss so that you can say you've kissed someone at new year's." He says.

You'd think with the way he's acting about this like he's serving the community, helping the greater good in some way. And I should probably be protesting his proposition for the sake of my feelings, but my brain thinks that is the best idea. Probably a combination of the alcohol and the fact that kissing Simon Snow is going to be involved.

"That may be the best idea you've ever had." His eyes light up at that and he gets up to sit next to me on my bed. "What time is it?" I ask.

"The clock is right there," He points to the clock that is approximately half a foot in front of my face, "But it's 11:58."

We just sit there, staring at the clock, neither of us making a sound. It's one of those digital clocks that has the seconds in the corner, perfect for this occasion. When it gets to 11:59:45, he turns to face me and I do the same. Now that my back is to the clock, I let him count down.

"10... 9... 8..." He scoots a little closer. "7... 6... 5... 4..." He reaches his hand up to my cheek, the other resting on my knee. "3... 2..." We both start to lean in.

"1." He whispers against my lips.

Kissing Simon Snow may possibly be the best thing I've ever done. Although I also feel like I might explode. He’s even warmer than I thought he would be, which seems impossible considering how much he heats up rooms when he enters them. There’s a chance I am currently on fire.

He's stealing all my air, kissing me like nothing else matters. I tell myself that it must be the alcohol, even though I know the effects of it are mostly worn off by now. My hands are gripping at the front of his shirt and his are running through my hair, resting on the back of my neck and pulling me closer to him.

He’s leading with his chin. Tilting it in all the right ways that make me melt farther into him, pushing me closer down to the bed until I’m laying down and he’s hovering over me. It almost feels like fighting, not because we are fighting, but because everything feels like that with him.

I'm not sure how much time has passed, but when he pulls away, panting and trying to catch his breath, all I want is to lean back in for more. I don't. Because I have to remind myself that this means nothing. Like he said, he only kissed me because he felt bad that I haven’t kissed anyone before.

His shirt is still clutched tightly in my hands and his are wrapped loosely around my neck. He pulls me up so we’re sitting again and rests his forehead against mine and smiles.

“For that being your first kiss, you’re not too bad at it.” I can’t help but smile at this, leaning back in to press my lips against his in a less desperate kiss.

He pulls back and looks at me again, bringing a hand from the back of my neck to run a thumb over my lips.

“Your lips are so pink.” He pulls my bottom lip down with his finger, watching it as he lets go.

“That would be because you bit them, Snow. Thank you very much.” I say, letting my hands fall from his shirt and onto his thighs.

“Yeah I know that.” He rolls his eyes and continues, “I just mean that they’re never any shade of pink, always grey.”

“Looks like you bit them back to life. Congrats.” I wrap my arms around his waist and lay back down on the bed, pulling him with me. He rolls over so he’s laying on his side next to me, facing me and placing his hand on my cheek.

I reach over to turn off the light and he runs his thumb over my cheekbone. I can still see him in the darkness of the room with the help of the moonlight streaming through the open window and my eyesight.

“Goodnight, Baz.” He mumbles, already sounding asleep. He drapes his leg over mine and I reach down to pull up the covers. I wrap my arm around his waist and pull him closer to me, tucking my face in the crook of my neck.

“Goodnight, Simon.” I say even though I think he’s sleeping.

I can’t wait until my next new year’s kiss.