#while killer and dust would avoid each other horror is too much of an asshole not to make some snarky remarks even if killer avoids him

[triglycercule]

if killer ever went into stage 3 around horror i absolutely want horror to fuck around with him in it. killer would totally obliterate him yes. BUT horror's also smart enough to know not to fuck around (too much) and find out. i think it would be like animal control and a wild feral dog. horror would set up traps for killer to get stuck in and then he crawls out of them. he laughs when killer falls for them so easily because a normal killer wouldn't fall for them so savagely (s2 killer MIGHT purposely trigger horror's traps just to see what would happen but s3..... bro has no thoughts). it's a good time for him to test out what new traps he can try too because killer is stupidly determined enough to keep surviving even the most saw level traps horror comes up with. he could find a way to slice off killer's leg with a cool new funky trap that's basically a torture device and killer will just start chasing him on all threes

killer just has like rabies foam at his mouth and horror is actively laughing at him during all of it. there are several moments where killer almost kills him or fatally wounds him but horror's smart enough to use his limited magic to teleport away in time before killer ends up gouging out his stolen eye. he just finds it so funny because normally killer is a lot smarter than this. killer always has that empty look on his face and is precise and always speaks with that stuck up tone and like he always knows what he's doing and what's going on and now the only thing that killer can say is a bunch of rusyxushabdhshhgggherrrrrggrrrrrr like a dumb dumb little dog. and horror absolutely finds it hilarious as he watches killer climb out of the 30th spike trap he's set. dude is absolutely covered in blood but bro is just dead set on killing horror in s3. horror just finds his fall from grace so PATHETICALLY HILARIOUS!!! and then he falls for another trap where he gets stuck in a net and horror laughs at him all over again and it's just a never ending loop until killer calms down enough to go back to stage 2.

it's a surprisingly good way of dealing with killer's 3rd stage is what dust would say if he didn't watch horror almost get torn apart by killer several times before that and now he has to deal with killer's bleeding from like 40 different wounds

[seven-oomen]

It’s a gross, dreary morning, I had to be up at stupid o'clock for work, and there was a hair in the breakfast sandwich I grabbed on the way.  So I figure why not distract myself by offering up some headcanon ideas?

Apologies in advance, as always, for any unexpected segues.  So, we know Peter loves trying to make the other two blush, but do they ever try to subtley return the favor?  Does Chris take advantage of being the shortest by doing the whole “looking up through their lashes” thing?  I imagine he can do killer puppy eyes in general.  Does Noah ever use his unexpected height advantage to tilt his head just so and draw Peter’s attention to his neck, because I MEAN IT’S JUST LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, TAUNTING HIM, HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AWAY?!  Given both Peter and Chris’s apparent general indifference/disdain for razors, how bad is the stubble burn issue, and who tends to get it the worst?  Who’s the first one to, uh, “ride it like he stole it” as the expression goes, once the dust has chance to settle?  Who gets the most vocal during sexytimes, does it vary by who all is involved?  (Gonna cut myself off there before this descends into a weird and vaguely kinky spiral that just ends up awkward for all involved…)

How many times a week, on average, do they utterly disgust their children with how obnoxiously affectionate they are with each other?  How often is it just them being them and how often is it them trolling the kids because they’re assholes?  What random/weird things do each kid bond with their assorted parental units over?

I also have a headcanon (partially borrowed from a blog who’s name I’ve now forgotten) that the three of them know at least one of the queens Stiles meets at Jungle.  He finds this out when she’s showing him a photo album and he recognizes them in a group shot from a midnight showing of Rocky Horror (this could also be his first clue about the makeup spell).  While he never, ever needed to know how well his dads could pull off fishnet and mesh, at least now he has some understanding of why he finds it fairly easy to walk in heels.  (This section may or may not be brought to you by me finding a pair of platform boots while cleaning and tripping down memory lane.)

Also, related to my previous headcanon/not-fic of them serenading Chris with Mariah Carey, I fully 100% believe that at some point after they started dating (but probably before meeting Chris) Peter serenaded Noah with NKOTB’s “You Got It (The Right Stuff)”.  Possibly in public.  And probably got a very similar reaction from him as they get from Chris.

Another thing I look forward to (if you decide to go that route); all the full shift shenanigans.  Using their wolf forms to avoid arguments/conversations.  Using their sheer bulk to tackle/cuddle/squish attack/etc another pack member.  Group hunts.  Being a personal space heater.  Give me all of it.  All the literal and metaphorical fluff.

And I quite enjoy speculating about their future progeny and will endeavor to think of some more questions about them for later.  However, those will have to wait for now, because I really do need to go clock in before I’m late.  Hope your day is going well (or at least better?)!  If you are working, may your stupid customers be few and any solutions simple!

My friend, it really sounds like you need a hug. So let me start by giving a virtual one and send you all the headcanons so that you may read them when you get home <3

So, we know Peter loves trying to make the other two blush, but do they ever try to subtley return the favor?  Does Chris take advantage of being the shortest by doing the whole “looking up through their lashes” thing?  I imagine he can do killer puppy eyes in general.  Does Noah ever use his unexpected height advantage to tilt his head just so and draw Peter’s attention to his neck, because I MEAN IT’S JUST LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, TAUNTING HIM, HOW IS HE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AWAY?!

Ohohoh my friend, yes they do! It is a sport in this household to make the others blush as often as possible. Chris has absolutely perfected the looking up through his lashes look as well as the killer puppy eyes. It’s a thing, everybody knows it’s a thing, Melissa has a betting pool on how many times a day Chris can make Noah or Peter blush by just giving them the puppy eyes.

(She’s currently taking bets and so far she’s winning with her 4x a day each)

Where Chris takes advantage of being the shortest, by looking up, nuzzling at Noah’s chin, or burying his face in Peter’s neck to scent him. Noah absolutely takes advantage of his height. He wears shirts that are just a little too short around the house and then leisurely stretches out in front of Chris and Peter, so that his stomach and happy trail are exposed just so and my god, does that get them. 

He also tilts his head a little too much to the left when he smiles just so the nape of his neck is exposed and my god does Peter want to latch onto that and show him just how much he adores every single inch of his druid. 

Noah is absolutely such a little bitch that would try and rile them up every single chance he got.

Given both Peter and Chris’s apparent general indifference/disdain for razors, how bad is the stubble burn issue, and who tends to get it the worst?  Who’s the first one to, uh, “ride it like he stole it” as the expression goes, once the dust has chance to settle?  Who gets the most vocal during sexytimes, does it vary by who all is involved?

I feel like Chris just grows this really soft beard that he meticulously keeps trimmed and well-groomed when he gets older. (Like the season 6 beard, hello daddy.)

Before that, he definitely has the most stubble burn to give since he’s actually a bit hairier than Peter. He also doesn’t really give a shit about his body hair (aside from the beard) so in general, he’s the less groomed of them in all places. (If you catch my drift.)

Peter is definitely the one after that and Noah has complained about both of them giving him stubble burn on multiple occasions. He definitely gets it the most and Peter occasionally gets some stubble burn from Chris as well.

The first one to uh, ride it like he stole it, so the speak, would be Noah. Which is kinda funny for everyone involved since both Peter and Melissa figured it would be Chris. But Nah, Noah fucking jumps Peter in the kitchen in the early morning and drags his ass back to bed, making sure to grab Chris on their way back up. 

Stiles complains about their little stunt for days, DAYS. “I did not want to see pops grabbing dad’s dick while they dragged papa with them. But guess what, I had to because pops couldn’t help himself. In front of my fucking breakfast! I can never look at scrambled eggs ever again without thinking of dad’s fucking dick!”

And Jackson just fucking dead-pans; “Well you’re not supposed to think of dad’s dick, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

lt very much depends. If it’s Peter fucking Chris, Chris is the most vocal, with moans, gasps, the occasional dirty talk, etc. If it’s Peter fucking Noah, Noah is the most vocal. His mouth runs a mile a minute when he’s in the throes of passion and Peter is just hitting everything just right. He just won’t shut up. When it’s all three of them together and the two Omega’s gang up on Peter, Peter’s the most vocal. They have to work for it, but if they rile him up just enough, they can make him beg and talk dirty to them while they worship him and each other.

When it’s just Chris and Noah, it’s a bit of tie. (pun intended because abo)  Chris definitely moans more vocally, but Noah tends to whisper dirty little things into Chris’s ear. (Or shout them when Chris’s head is between his legs.)

Also, in case you couldn’t tell, I have no shame when it comes to nsfw headcanons.

How many times a week, on average, do they utterly disgust their children with how obnoxiously affectionate they are with each other?  How often is it just them being them and how often is it them trolling the kids because they’re assholes?  What random/weird things do each kid bond with their assorted parental units over?

They are very affectionate with one another, constantly touching and kissing. And although at first, the boys (Stiles & Jackson) are really uncomfortable, they do get used to the more innocent daily displays of affection.

It’s not until they start talking sweetly that all four teenagers (and Derek) nope out. That happens at least once a day. Ben’s not bothered at all, only when his dad, papa, and pops start kissing does he nope out. (With a soft muttering of ‘that’s gross’, or ‘ewwww’)

Most of the innocent displays are not intentional, but when they want a room to themselves or at least a little moment, or just because it’s funny, they are known to get overly affectionate with their pet names and words, they do that at least four times a week. Because they can.

Honeybear, cuddlewuddle, pookie, honeybun, sugarbaby, bae, mi amor, carino, corazon, mon amour,  mon chou, mon cheri, schatz, liebling,.

They get very creative in multiple languages in what they can call one another.

Ben bonds over storytime with Noah, knitting/crocheting with Peter, and singing with Chris.

Allison bonds over painting with Chris, shopping with Peter (he gives great fashion advice), and meditating with Noah.

Jackson bonds over cars with Peter, Learning about Supernatural law & Customs & rituals with Noah (but also Peter on the werewolf aspect), and botany with Chris.

Malia bonds over fishing with Chris, quilting with Peter (he’s very crafty, ok),  and playing the guitar with Noah.

Stiles bonds over wood carving with Peter, learning about his Polish roots with Noah, and international law and weaponry with Chris.

And hell to the yes on the whole drag queen meeting. Headcanon accepted. When Stiles tells Jackson, Allison, and Malia they don’t believe him. So of course, he drags them down with him to prove it. And if Jackson coincidentally finds out that he too, can rock high heels, well, all the better. Allison and Malia file away all the evidence for blackmailing just in case they’ll ever need it.

Also, related to my previous headcanon/not-fic of them serenading Chris with Mariah Carey, I fully 100% believe that at some point after they started dating (but probably before meeting Chris) Peter serenaded Noah with NKOTB’s “You Got It (The Right Stuff)”.  Possibly in public.  And probably got a very similar reaction from him as they get from Chris.

I have such a weakness for these idiots serenading each other while holding wooden spoons and dancing in their boxers and sleeping shirts. It’s unreal. I’d imagine Peter actually has a lovely voice but he’s not to great and controlling pitch in the higher notes. Though he makes up for that with his enthusiasm. And Noah and Chris can’t help it, they go red, they blush, they try and avoid his gaze but sooner or later, they swoon to the smooth moves of their wolf.

Another thing I look forward to (if you decide to go that route); all the full shift shenanigans.  Using their wolf forms to avoid arguments/conversations.  Using their sheer bulk to tackle/cuddle/squish attack/etc another pack member.  Group hunts.  Being a personal space heater.  Give me all of it.  All the literal and metaphorical fluff.

I’m so excited for that! Ugh. Peter loves cuddling up to Chris while in wolf form and Chris absolutely adores petting Peter while the wolf is stretched out across his lap or curled up behind him. His favorite places to scratch are right behind Peter’s ears or under his chin. And Peter loves all of the attention. His wolf is a huge dark brown and white wolf. He’s gorgeous in wolf form too, of course.

Also, Jackson finds out that in wolf form, he’s ten times cuter and every human member of his family absolutely wants to cuddle with the fluffy blond wolf that he is. (He also very quickly finds out that people will definitely give him their food, blankets, or other items if he gives them his puppy eyes while he’s a wolf. And he milks it.)

Malia’s wolf is a sleek tan Mexican wolf that is almost coyote-like and she’s very strong and nimble and very fast, faster than Jackson, Scott, Ben, or Derek. She absolutely uses her wolf form to escape arguments or avoid conversations.

Derek uses his wolf form to herd the kids around, he’s a huge black wolf with icy blue eyes and very intimidating. But also very soft, let’s be real, it’s Derek. He pushes the teens around and grabs Ben by the arm (or the scruff of his neck if he’s in his wolf form) and watches over them to make sure they don’t do stupid stuff.

And I quite enjoy speculating about their future progeny and will endeavor to think of some more questions about them for later.  However, those will have to wait for now, because I really do need to go clock in before I’m late.  Hope your day is going well (or at least better?)!  If you are working, may your stupid customers be few and any solutions simple!

I would love to hear them! Thankfully I have today off so I didn’t have to deal with people today. Just one very, very demanding and clingy cat who just wants all the cuddles. Although the weather was very dreary here too.

I’ll start off with a cute headcanon. When the twins are born, both Noah and Chris breastfeed them. They did it for a short while with the first two sets of twins. And it just clicked for them to do it again. Their favorite spot to sit and feed the twins is on the porch at the front of the newly built Hargentinski house. 

It’s in the same spot where once the Hale house stood, they tore it down and rebuild a giant ten-bedroom house on the property where the entire family could live together. 

Even though most of the kids are off the college, they all still have a room in their family’s home. And they all come home for the holidays anyway.

Anyway, so yeah, on the porch where they can listen to the sounds of the forest and feel the breeze is their favorite spot to just sit down with the twins and let them feed. It’s also a great way for them to bond with each other and the babies and Peter just loves to sit down and watch his mates do their thing.

And that is where I will leave this because holy shit this got long XD