#while i'm DROWNING
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having a significantly dire self-confidence go lately, so i've been using all my spare moments with attempting to finish my daughter's cross-stitch project i started 2 years ago. i really hate feeling this way.
#i am well aware that i need to change my creation mode#away from someone who creates for other people#it's just that i've got fucking 13 years of internalized failure#that i'm trying to navigate through#and i gotta admit it's been a real fucking slog of a shitshow#in my god damn brain the past few months#i'm trying very hard to give myself grace#because over a decade of failure isn't going to be something i get over so quickly#but also sometimes i want to SCREAM at people#DO YOU KNOW HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO LET GO OF SOMETHING#THAT YOU FUCKING STAKED YOUR WHOLE LIFE ON#FOR THAT FUCKING LONG#no positives no success stories#you just fucking failed#the fact that i'm writing at all anymore#is probably a god damn miracle#but god damn sometimes i just need someone to throw me a FUCKING LIFE PRESERVER#while i'm DROWNING
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i had a dream last night that i organized a tumblr meetup and we all agreed to go to a local bar together. so i go to the bar but it was a really busy night and i didn't want to ask every stranger "are u here for tumblr reasons" bc that's embarrassing and i'm shy. so i just got a drink and felt very awkward & hoped someone would approach me. tried to look inviting and like i was from tumblr but not like i was "from tumblr". when i left some girl stopped me to ask if i was there for the meetup but i was too shy and asked what's tumblr?
in the dream i went home to make a post about how nobody showed up to the tumblr meetup but my entire dash was people saying they'd gone to the bar but were too fucking shy to admit to being on tumblr so we'd all just had a drink and gone home
#i have very vivid usually very logical dreams due to my ptsd#i'm skipping the part where i was really nervous about what to wear bc i didn't want to wear the wrong thing#also the drinks were all pink & with umbrellas . also after this in the dream there was this guy#who had been there in a chicken costume and was ''funny'' but then he was always outside my window#down the street . in the store. etc.#just standing there . moving like he was drowning. he kept signing that he was choking#and i was too scared to help while his feathers .... floating and bloated in the dry air#.... while he begged me with his weird puffy wings. silently. choking and choking and choking. his toes barely touching down#and meanwhile im like sorry dude i gotta jump on tumblr to talk about this bar experience#dream me: okay the drowning on dry land chicken guy is fine. but i draw the line at social anxiety
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Rogue. (Played by Jonathan Groff, in Doctor Who.)
The first full, realistic portrait I've done in years.
Spent all weekend on this. Still room for improvement, because I'm a perfectionist. And I could tweak it forever, but in 5 hours I'm getting on a train to start the first week of my master's degree in art.
Detail shots and sketch:
Bonus: Comparison with a very old drawing I did of Jonathan, back in the days of Spring Awakening. If you wanna get better at drawing, just keep drawing, you'll get there. ♥
#doctor who#dwedit#doctor who fanart#jonathan groff#artists on tumblr#dw art#dw rogue#rogue doctor who#digital art#i will never stop noticing stuff i'd like to fix#but overall i do think it looks beautiful#and i'm glad i got it realistic but also painterly enough that i don't THINK people will scroll past thinking it's a photo??#and i got it light enough that it won't drown on mobile screens#fun fact i was rewatching Mindhunter while drawing this#alright time to pack my suitcase
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Disney, releasing Wish: "so it's all about legacy--the new generation surpassing the old, overcoming the evils perpetuated by them, relinquishing singular power... and there's an old man in a tower, uh... animal sidekick, i guess..., ah... magic...?
Miyazaki, just out of frame, sledgehammer raised:
#the boy and the heron#not tagging wish 'cause i'm being a little acidic#this isn't to be negative in the slightest--I really respect both films--but it's interesting to see how visceral boy+H gets with its story#what evils have to be rejected and what they represent--and how characters and the world suffer from those evils--as well as how the whole#'rejecting' part goes. in terms of animation powerhouses discussing their legacies - disney and miyazaki both - I find it interesting that#one makes a pretty safe and nostalgic movie about imagination and dreams; the other is a long trudge through the land of the dead.#b+h is a hard watch - and a look at the legacy of a man questioning his whole purpose in the world - after his cultural touchstones#have long passed by. Mahito needs to understand his grief to keep living--but if he drowns in it he'll just continue the cannibalistic and#violent world of his granduncle. how the hell do you make art when the trauma of your entire life has colored it forever? How can anyone?#maybe after a while... it's time to detonate that damn tower and keep living.#this is to say#if you have enough money to make whatever you want#Make It Fucking Count
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— SMALLVILLE, "Tempest" (1.21) & "Fragile" (5.18)
#okay I'm determined to post my drafted gifsets more frequently now lol#smallville#smallvilleedit#svedit#lex luthor#clark kent#lana lang#clex#lexana#clexana#dcmultiverse#sv 1x21#sv 5x18#my gifs#usually we get clark's interactions with lex paralleling clark's LIs (like him saving both lex and lana from drowning)#but this is a rare instance where the parallel has lex as the center point#he uses the same line on clark that he later uses while canonically flirting with lana ('I hope you feel the same way')#(also their 'I do' replies are giving wedding vows 👀)#ofc these scenes are both obviously foreshadowing the future and I'm sure that's all that was intended by them#(clark and lex's friendship will fail bc of lies + deceit; lex and lana not actually trusting each other 100% will ruin their relationship)#but that's just the usual sv doomed by the narrative shit so... eh whatever
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MITHRUN IS OF TOL INSTEAD OF KERENSIL DUE TO MARRIAGE don't lemme see people "correcting" me in tags or comments when it's in all caps
anywho, this was going to be another illustration for my fic, but didn't work out ie couldn't fit a scenario like it in the upcoming chapter that i'm still working on. decided to post it anyway 'cause i had fun. PS that's a phone Kabru's got, didn't feel a need to finish a background after all that plaid
#dugeon meshi#kabumisu#kabru#mithrun#you can literally see where my carpal tunnel flared up#never drawing plaid again#if mithrun's dress looks off that's because it is indeed on purpose#he's still super underweight at this point and while the bodice and skirts have been tailored#due to their design of the tight waist and large shoulders he still kind of drowns in them#i'm quite partial to those large shoulder sleeves#style inspirations for the fic and drawings are 1890s and 1910s#though i feel marcille fits better with the 1850s/60s with their full skirts#but HEY this fic also takes place in bizzarro year 3000+ so does it REALLY matter?#no no it does not matter we just going where it feels right
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'Harellan'
Solas: Dragon age
Mixed media on paper
#I was aiming for the ancient sad puppy eyes#the 'i'm faced with the burden of my mistakes every day' kinda look#haunted by the past kinda vibe#the look while thinking of Lavellan kinda look#the 'fuck i fucked up do you think she still thinks of me kinda look??!#'I have only dedicated the last few thousand murals to my Vhenan while drowning in my sorrows and Heartbreak' kind of look#honestly heartbreak is a good look on him? I mean yes he's one of my favourite characters but i still like watching him suffer i am sorry#and i'm awful#like we're all suffering in solavellan hell#heartbreak solas#solavellan#solavellen hell#solasmance#solas dragon age#solas dread wolf#da: dreadwolf#fen'harel#ancient betrayer#harellan#the dread wolf#solavellan hell#da fanart#fanart#my art#my fanart#dragon age fanart#dragon age#traditional media#illustration#dragon age inquisition
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Thinking about @gehtsis’s children and how terrifying it would be to get their team assigned to help you escape from a mystery dungeon.
If these are what my heroes look like I'm 99% certain I'd be screaming and running the other way. Menacing cryptid-looking grim reaper and cursed psychic clay doll. I love them.
#I know you said to go wild with their designs while drawing these two in the post formally introducing them#but I loved Erida’s design as you’ve drawn her too much to take many liberties with her#Gaia meanwhile got scarring on her arms that i hc is from her using Hyper Beam with a tad too much zest while defending Erida#and vaguely eyelash-like markings (I enjoy the idea of Gaia basically having the PMD equivalent of Adonis-level attractiveness---#--- like. she's looks like she's chiseled by a master sculptor who was in the mood to give everyone on earth the most lamentable crushes---#--- and I thought it would be funny to give her eyelash-resembling markings as a bit of goofy humor bc of how funny it'd be to---#--- pair this trait up with a bishie sparkle effect.#The bishie sparkle gag specifically needs to have Erida in the bg looking like she hasn't slept a full 8 hours in her life imho.)#On another note Gehtsis did you see the Ultra Sun pokedex entry for claydol???#“If it gets wet its body melts. When rain starts to fall it wraps its whole body up with its psychic powers to protect itself.”#I'm imagining Gaia being completely unaffected by a torrential downpour and Erida is standing next to her looking like a drowned rat#I don't know why I'm being so mean to Erida rn I seriously love her so much. I just show that love through bullying I guess ^^;#pmd oc#pmd ocs#pokemon mystery dungeon#pokémon mystery dungeon#pmd explorers#pmd eos#pmd sky#pmd2#pmd#stuff by sofie
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Culture Shock
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xiao xingchen#xue yang#a-qing#As I sit here and type out my thoughts I realize that the last panel looks like A-Qing is crushing XY's candy...oops.#she's supposed to be crunching her *own* wrapper for dramatic effect. XY's candy is still in XXC's hand.#Hes still standing there. 180 degrees out of frame. Which is where your heart is! MEANING: XXC is in your heart right now#holding out a little piece of candy that has yet to be taken.#This comic was so close to being on the chopping block. Honestly I'm still not sure I should have kept it in#but I liked this scene a lot*** and tbh the yi-city arc isn't around for much longer. Let them have fun while it lasts.#not to mention I have few opportunities to build up spanish speaking XXC. And we are close to the pay off.#XY is in his 'oh god I need to start learning the basics of this language or I will drown' phases. Lets see how well he does!#***The candy represents so much! It's a symbol of unobtainability! Of comfort and status! Both A-qing and XY crave candy as much as they-#-crave those 'unobtainables'! XY has money to by candy (part of status) but he lacks love and comfort is his life!#So XXC offering them this little piece of candy is more than just a treat! It's a piece of love!#But as sweet as candy is....it cannot last....#(this also makes the scene where XY disrupts A-Qing's comfort by offering candy very interesting to analyze)
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PLEASE someone get her a blanket. She's fuckin freezing. Stop chanting for 2 seconds and find a cloak. Give her your highly expensive gold thread damask cloak Pharazon
#not your tunic Elendil I'm pretty sure you smell like old unwashed sweaty socks in this scene#tho Miriel may not mind that idk#also go comfort your child lmao#that's your queen (who is blind) soaking wet and half-drowned having heard a sea monster but not seen it and#who cannot see ANYTHING that's happening and trying to walk up wet rocks while soaking wet like cmon everyone#Elendil#Miriel#tar miriel#Tar-Míriel#trop#rop#trop spoilers#the rings of power#miriel x elendil#elendil x miriel#rings of power#lotr trop#Numenor#The Rings of Power#mirendil#Rings of Power#TROP#ROP#cynthia addai robinson#lloyd owen#trop 2x06
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Sabine is deeply unimpressed with my shernanigans.
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Tried to give her a bubble beard again but she still just kept eating the bubbles 🤷
#Wet Beast Wednesday#But on a Tuesday.#Drowned rat Tuesday#Soggy Sabine. Bubbly beanie baby.#She has since been blow dried and is now a fragrant ball of fluff#I can never take enough photos of my little babies. The world must know how precious and ridiculous they are.#Rosie is due home from the vets in an hour!! Her anti-puppy op went well apparently! Hopefully her recovery is speedy#My poor baby belle had a horrible time when she went she was neutered. The op went wrong first time and she got an infection later on#It was dreadful for all of us! I am really worried about how Rosie will cope but I'm pretty sure it will be far better this time.#Gotta make sure Sabine is extra nice to rosie while she is healing! And make sure Rosie doesn't jump on too much furniture
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Hiya! Hello! I already told you that I was going to visit you, but I didn't tell you with what or when, and the answer is with light ParaHero and now! Your guys are so detailed and so pretty, so I tried my hardest to draw them well in all their glory <3
Fun fact: despite what you tried to guess in Discord, I originally planned to draw just Hero (and the reason is because I didn't want to draw Para's skeleton wings 😭)... but then you decided to give your Paranoid a makeover, and how could I say no to such luscious hair! And these bottom lashes! I couldn't resist <3
Rambling aside, I hope you like this little drawing!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.A.AAA.A.A.A.A.A.A...A.
this is my honest reaction to most of the stuff that pops up in my inbox but i canNOT HELP IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAHA.A.
ABSOLUTE LEGEND EVEREST GALE UP IN MY INBOX???? PARAHERO???? THESE TWO?????? HOLY SHIT????? HOLY SHIT?????
THE WAY YOU DREW THEM???????? THE WAY PARA GENTLY GRIPS HERO'S ARM WARILY YET CLOSELY LIKE???????? HERO LOOKING LIKE A CONFUSED HIMBO AS ALWAYS????? THE FOLDS ON HIS FUCKING SHAWL AND THE CLOTHES IN GENERAL I AM FUCKING SCREAMING
yes thank you so very much thank you SO VERY MUCH and glad you like his redesign love the way you drew his hair thanks for the attention to detail i love paranoid i love paranoid i fucking love- [dramatically flops out of my chair and collapses onto the floor with an inelegant, earth-shattering crash.] SHE'S SO CUTE.
(funnily how this coincides with the fact that i'm currently drawing para in a dress lol) (there's a reason i swear)
10/10. Full marks. Love it. Really. Truly. Unshittingly. it's them it's them it's THEM and parahero is always a damned bonus.
also don't worry i struggle with the skeleton wings too so i always kinda just end up chicken scratching them with lines- so you're pretty based for almost cutting him from the picture i'm gonna be ngl.
#slay the princess#stp#stp voices#voice of the hero#stp hero#voice of the paranoid#stp paranoid#i'm still not over this#eg actually drew my bois. holy fuck.#itsonlypolite drew my cheated pareidolla drew my broken everestgale drew my paranoid#all these ABSOLUTE FUCKING LEGENDS be drawing all my favourite voices AND MY DESIGNS TOO and PAYING ATTENTION TO DETAIL and HOOOOOO SO PRET#also a not-so-fun fact: i was actually in the middle of drawing something back for this#but you guessed it! the damned thing got drenched during the mega leak sketchbook drowning mass discarding pissing off incident!#so it might be a while before i actually do that lol#putting off a lot of gifts oooooof
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#heavier than my usual venting#im living in a lot of fear right now#my entire family is undocumented-- if not in the process of becoming citizens#i'm afraid of my parents leaving the house and never coming back#i'm afraid i'll hear that a brother or a sister have been taken#i don't even know if i'll be able to keep my birthright citizenship#we are not white passing-- most of my family can barely speak english#we live in one of the biggest sanctuary cities in the fucking country and now that's not a source of security anymore#i am in so much fear#it borders on paralyzing and i know that does nothing to help#i'm already quiet when it comes to chatting and while i am trying to push through it#doom scrolling and just allowing myself to spiral into despair isn't going to help anyone#but im working with possibly even less spoons than i already do#i want to keep creating and working on stuff since its the few things that give me joy#but its been hard to get out of this headspace#i don't plan on self-isolating or anything like that but i can already feel myself shifting into a strange sense of apathy#for a lot of things#i don't like that#it's awful#i don't want to drown in this#please be patient with me
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I just realized Furina didn't have a vision when the flood happened.
It seems like she can't die according to her curse, but that means she was limp, crying on her throne with the sensation of drowning the entire time.
#genshin#furina#the thought hit me in the shower while I was also crying funnily enough#and I was like “damn at least I'm not drowning” asldjf
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(I decided to use my Tumblr acc jus for once,bcs I had got hyperfixated on Creepypasta fandom,made a terrible, traumatizing in all the matters au and got a punch into my face from my gf,platonic son and other friends,bcs I was getting their brains burned with all the headcanons I'm producing on an unimaginable speed,so now I'm going to torture u too >:) )
Here is my Creepypasta au - Traumatic pasta! It's something similar to Slendermansion (I'm saluting to all the veterans from 2010s,who were lucky to see this display of happy cringe stories with holes everywhere: in the concept,in the plot of every fan fiction,etc.),but the main idea is like Slenderman having in the mansion not the whole universe of all the species living under his wing,but only the ones,who really need his protection due to their own reasons (like,they can't live on their own because of age or special care they need and they've found it only there).All the characters have mental illnesses from traumas or from birth,so their existence is more unbearable in all the senses, especially in such place...
The whole au is some kind of mockery over the mental health system in many countries,the way society accepts it,+ I have a great interest in psychology and psychiatry,so you can count it also like some study or similar to it.I've tried to write the characters and their illnesses as correct as it was possible,while having only the internet as a helper and some conservative "psychiatry for teapots" book.
Tomorrow I'm planning to write more about the characters and their problems,but for now I just want to say,that I will be glad to any activity from the users here: I won't bite,so don't be afraid to ask any questions,which could ever come to your head :D
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#creepypasta au#slender mansion#alternate universe#slenderman#laughing jack#toby rogers#tim wright#sally williams#brian thomas#clockwork creepypasta#nina the killer#jeff the killer#ben drowned#I'm writing this shit while I'm literally having so much to do#but who cares
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dante can swim, right? theres' no wauy the Royal Solarian Staff would let their king go his whole life not knowing such a lifesaving skill JUst cuz it's a desert doesn't mean there aren't pools!!! he has to know they HAD to have taught him there's no way he's stepping on a cruise ship surrounded by water while UNable to swim what if he falls in?!? he's not gonna float that's furr sure look at his muscle density and lack of fat the man's gonna sink like cement
#i am imagining dante in his little sooley themed inflatable tube (for his safety)#didn't they bring this up in the anniversary event? something like... dodging the question when someone asked if dante could swim#please it would be so funny to bully him some more#but i also sincerely want him to be able to swim like pleaaassssa#i need someone else to be the easy target for unable-to-swim-bullying#who wouldn't know how to swim? uhhhhhh#...can it be kuya? i know it's a stupid idea and he can easily save himself from the water in other ways#but he hates getting his fur we t.... so......#eiden gonna be out here talking about his lifeguard part-time job while saving all the drowning clan members#olivine floats naturally he does not need to swim (but also he is water territory baby so i'm not worried about him)#if i throw yaku and garu into the water#will they turn into wet animal versions of themselves? and they'll jsut know what to do? tread water and all that?#blade doesn't swim. he just propels himself.#so he could be standing perfectly upright in the water. but still moving toward you at rapid speed#like a tree. translating on the z axis. through the water. rapidly approaching your location#actually blade could probably also become water jetpack#he just propels himself out of the water and does acrobatics in the air LOL#anyway. i'm just worried about dante. there's no way he has such a glaring hole in his skill set#...right?#nu carnival dante
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