#while i watched all the Actually Smart Kids excell at everything they touched

[slippery-minghus]

hhhhhhh fuck i hate the waiting. i won't find out about this job thing until next week and aughhhhhhfjdkskah

nightmare coworker comes back from leave on monday too and i'm just so over her. if i don't get this job maybe i should go back to working in food service just so i can gtfo aughhhh

i just had two weeks of fucking peace and quiet at work and i'm not ready to go back. not ready to give that up. it reminded me how it feels to be normal at work. reminded me how much dealing with nightmare coworker makes me miserable. how stretched thin i get and how much harder it is to get my work done.

i gotta fucking get out of here

[aloev3rathings]

huntlow headcanons and ideas for my fic, Aloe Vera, GO!

1. willow and hunter endlessly hype each other up. like, “hey this is my girlfriend she is awesome have you seen her play flyer derby??? she is so strong and smart and amazing with plant magic my girlfriend is fucking top tier” and “have you seen my boyfriend??? he is so determined in everything he does and is a prodigy and have I mentioned he’s an excellent fighter?? also he’s so fucking sweet and genuine he gives me cavities” they are THAT couple, like they give Luz and Amity a run for their money with how much they talk up their partners.

2. obvs, they work out together. willow is more with strength training and weight lifting, while hunter is more focused on agility and speed. granted they’re both pretty strong, like those people who do push ups with the other sitting on their back and stuff. like I wish I could do that, but I can’t. but these two definitely do that. they are jock couple and no one can change my mind.

3. hunter isn’t a super big fan of PDA bc he flushes so easily. hand holding is very common between them, and is a major source of comfort and stability for them, but when they’re alone or in a place where he’s comfortable and familiar with the people there, he is. so clingy, but not in a bad way. Boy is super touch starved and likes to lean on willow or curl around her while they’re sitting. hunter is like a cat, he just loves being in Willow’s general vicinity. he likes sitting on her lap when they’re cuddling, hunter feels super safe there. likewise, willow absolutely loves it when he picks her up bridal style, and im projecting a little here, but she never thought anyone would want to, and sometimes she likes feeling a little vulnerable and protected but never got it before in like, a romantic context. sure she had amity looking out for her when they were kids, but that was different. so when they’re finally dating and Hunter picks her up and holds her close like she’s the most precious person in the entire isles, she’s got stars in her eyes.

4. who kissed who first? hunter did, surprisingly. i know, right? but no he actually did. they had been dating for about a month, going at a glacial pace bc both of them were too nervous to even start dating in the first place, but one night they’re stargazing at the owl house on the tower, and willow is talking about the stars and various stories she’s heard of them, and hunter is listening to her talk and she’s so pretty when she’s talking about stuff she likes, and he’s been thinking about kissing her all night, but he’s just hyping himself up in his head to do it. but he’s kind of chickening out, but then she turns to him and smiles at him and he just kind of. blanks out. and kisses her. a quick peck. and their faces are on fire and they’re just staring at each other and hunter is about to apologize. willow immediately says, “caleb, that mouth better not do anything except kiss me again.” and well, who is he to argue with her.

5. they both like to cook together. hunter likes to follow instructions for a relatively predictable result, and willow likes to get creative with herbs and spices, so sometimes they end up bickering a bit over recipes and willow becomes very very smug when hunter tastes it and begrudgingly admits that her additions worked in their favor. she likes it when he pouts, she thinks it’s very cute. and he likes it when she looks triumphant at his response.

6. they like to fly over the isles together and camp together. it gives hunter a chance to show off his survival training from when he was in the EC (one of the few positive things he’ll let himself feel pride over), and willow gets a chance to be one with nature and show off some of her own plant and foraging knowledge.

7. when hunter is feeling low and overwhelmed from his emotions, they spend the whole day cuddling. they build a blanket nest, or a fort, and just spend the day cuddling and watching his favorite cartoons on C.B. and snacking. when willow is feeling frustrated and overwhelmed, they spar so she can get that extra jittery energy out. hunter is one of the few she trusts to fight that can hold his own against her so she doesn’t have to worry about him getting roughed up too badly. after, they just sit together in silence while willow decompresses.

8. they send each other memes on their scrolls all the time, even when in the same room. it drives Luz nuts bc hunter refuses to show her the memes, but willow and hunter will gladly show Gus if he asks.

9. in my fic, and likely any I write from this point forward, hunter is trans. so I figure when he finally gets magical top surgery, and bc I find it hilarious, hunter is loopy after surgery and they have that whole moment of “my girlfriend won’t like that you’re touching me like that” “I am your girlfriend” “…” “…” “…ohmytitan, you’re my girlfriend?? i am THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WHOLE BOILING ISLES”

[skellebonez]

I AM SORRY FOR THIS SKELLE BUT I MUST: 5 (kidnapping them was the only way I was going to get them here),6 (let's make a deal, shall we?) and 41 (can you teach me how to do that) with the demon bull fam and mk with a little hint of 64 (I may have eaten seven of them already). NOW GO HAM MY DUDE

Oh I had way too much fun with this one. I took S2E4 (spoilers mentioned for that!) and some tweets made by one of the show producers on the same day as fuel for a very silly idea I had. I don't write what can be considered "Crack treated seriously" (or at least semi-seriously, this is not a 100% serious fic) often but when I do I go hard. This is more focused on MK and others than SpicyNoodles so it's a bit more gen fic than a full on ship fic as well.

Kidnapping them was the only way I was going to get them here/Let's make a deal, shall we?/Can you teach me how to do that?/I may have eaten seven of them already.

"Red..." MK started off slowly, watching as his boyfriend's face flushed and twisted in embarrassment. "Can you tell me why your mother showed up at my apartment and used her wind vortex thing to teleport us here without an explanation? And then left us in your..." He looked around, noting that aside from the excessively large throne and two smaller thrones beside it this room looked like a... "Living room? On a couch?"

"I can-" Red Son started, raising a hand before pausing a frowning deeply. "Actually, no, I can't explain. This is just weird, even by my parent's standards. I have no idea what is going on, but since you're still here..." He shrugged with a hopeful smile, shaky through the uncertainty. "Maybe it's not bad? I mean, if Mother was truly upset or wanted to do something bad surely she would have not left us to our own devices. Maybe she’s... uh... happy I finally have a boyfriend?”

At the pointed raise of an eyebrow from MK that hopeful smile faltered a bit. Happy Red Son had a boyfriend for the first time in a couple centuries? Under different circumstances he wouldn't doubt that! Happy when that boyfriend was MK?

Oh he did doubt that.

He knew that they shouldn't have been sneaking around the way they had been. It had made sense at first, two people on opposite sides of a feud lasting centuries who discovered they actually enjoyed spending time together more than fighting each other. One who decided he very much would rather not follow through with any kind of domination and see his family hurt, who realized "actually my sworn nemesis isn't so bad", and another who decided "my life is already weird enough, why not give this befriending my enemy thing a shot".

And then one thing lead to another and before they knew it their secret friend meet up became a secret boyfriend meet up. They'd managed to keep everything under wraps for a while (except from Mei because, well... she was his best friend! He couldn't not tell someone and she would have found out fast if he wasn't obvious, and she had quickly become a mutual source of support for both of them), though MK knew Pigsy and the others knew something was up. They didn't question him, though, aside from the occasional good natured jab. "Wow MK, you seem happy today. Got any plans?" and that sort of thing. They seemed to trust him to make his own decisions, as long as he was happy and healthy and eventually told them. (Sun Wukong, however, may have caught in a little when he jokingly asked if MK had gotten a boyfriend and MK had choked on his drink. He never brought it up specifically after that but he was smart. Too smart.)

Red Son, on the other hand, was fantastic at keeping secrets when he tried. Or MK thought he was... the last few months gave no indication that either of his parents had discovered their little sneaky rendezvous. Then Princess Iron Fan broke into his apartment and, well, here they are. Clearly something had gone wrong somewhere along the line.

Before MK could follow through with any questions of whether or not there could be a fate worse than instant death that involved lulling him into a false sense of security, the two men froze at the sound of quickly approaching voices.

“Could this not have been done another way, my dear?”

“Kidnapping them was the only way I was going to get them here, you know that. Noodle Boy is not that gullible, contrary to what we first believed.”

Ah... shit... Red Son’s parents.

Mk quickly ran through all the possessions he had in his apartment and wondered if he had time to text Mei or Pigsy the world’s fastest will and testament and if that would be legally binding. He just hoped he had something for Pigsy to handle the Phantom Orderer they'd had for the last year.

They always ordered on the app and prepaid and managed to leave him a sizeable tip in his tuk-tuk after he dropped off the food at whatever random location they indicated.

"Good," PIF's voice rang clear, far faster than he could even attempt to pull out his phone, and MK turned to see that she was casually lounging on the shoulder of the Demon Bull King. She jumped down, her wind lightening her fall so much so that she barely made a sound when her feet touched ground. "You've made yourself comfortable."

MK couldn't bring himself to move, as much as he very dearly wanted to run away as quickly as possible. Yes, he was The Monkie Kid and had progressed far enough that he could probably escape without much problem. Yes, he and DBK had had an understanding after the White Bone Spirit and Lunar New Year Festival (though he still didn't know if PIF ever found out about that one). Yes, Princess Iron Fan had shown little interest in him before and had even worked beside him with no complaints (she didn't even care enough to attack during the Food Wars thing!). But that was all before she apparently found out he was dating her son behind her back while they were technically still enemies.

He was glad at that moment that she had grabbed them before they went to get lunch... his stomach was doing back flips that would make a gymnast jealous.

"Uh, yes Miss-Mrs-Muh-M- Princess Iron... Fan?" MK couldn't help but stutter awkwardly, holding onto the hem of his jacket and worrying it as he tried to keep his composure. He looked beside him, watching as Red sat straighter and kept an even expression on his face that he couldn't quite place. His hair seemed to spark softly.

Though she raised a brow at this, PIF didn't comment on that at all. Instead she made her way to the other couch across from them as opposed to what was clearly supposed to be her throne, leaning forward right her elbows on her knees and her fingers laced together in front of her. DBK stopped behind her, seemingly content to stay standing.

"Noodle Boy... you prefer to go by MK, is that correct?" She started, and he nodded slowly in confused response. "Hmn... so. You've been dating my son for quite some time. Many months... no, a bit over a year if I am not mistaken in how long his behavior has changed." 'Oh shit' went MK's brain. "You must be quite serious, if you're willing to go through so much just to see each other. Late night meetings. Secret hideaways. Sneaking onto Flower Fruit Mountain, even." 'Oh SHIT' it repeated in horror. "That's quite the dedication to show toward anyone... I hate to admit it, but I am quite impressed." 'OH SH-wait what?'

"Bw-huh?" Was what MK managed out, half a sound that was almost a word and half a squeak of confusion.

"The fact I myself remained oblivious until only a few weeks ago is quite something. Let's make a deal, shall we?" She continued, sitting back straight and looking like the proud Princess she was and not like a woman sitting on a couch that looked comically small in front of her enormous husband. "You and Red Son no longer have to hide your relationship from us and in exchange..." she paused, as if relishing the building tension between herself and the couple before her. "You will come over at least once a week so we can get to actually know you properly."

MK froze. Red Son froze even more.

Then his entire head lit ablaze as he jumped up and gestured at his mother with a gaping mouth. "Th-that's it!? I-I was... I was RIGHT!?"

PIF barely reacted to this, merely lounging sideways as she put her elbow on the arm of the couch and rested her cheek on her hand.

"Whatever you were right about, I suppose you were. But yes," she shrugged, honestly looking... kinda happy? "Has this been about a year ago I perhaps would not have understood what you saw in Nood-MK. But I can see how happy you have been lately, and there's something about him that is like... what did you say he was like, darling?" She turned to DBK, who shrugged himself with an unreadable expression.

"A ball of sunshine given human form."

... that was not what MK ever expected to hear from the Demon Bull King's mouth...

"Yes, that's it," she nodded as if this was completely normal and ignored how Red Son flopped back down onto the couch and stared at the ceiling. "I'd hate to admit it, but you've grown on us through out sparse interactions. Somehow. And we have been eagerly waiting for the day we could finally welcome someone into our son's life. So what do you say? Do we have a deal?"

She seemed... serious. MK may not know her that well, but it was clear to anyone when she wasn't being so.

"Uh... o-ok? Sure?" MK said softly, nodding in amazement as DBK and PIF actually smiled at this.

This was the strangest day of his life, beating our every single demon fight and even the day he got the Monkey King's staff. But he'd take this strangeness over the alternative 500 times over.

"Excellent," DBK nodded himself, there was a lot of that about. "That seems to have worked out n-"

Everyone paused at a loud grumble echoed the room, all turning to Red Son as he flared up in embarrassment this time.

"Don't look at me like that, we were supposed to eat half an hour ago and I am starving," Red Son grumbled as he sat up, not looking anyone in the eye. "I don't suppose we could. Eat now? Please?"

Despite the situation, MK couldn't help but smile at his pouting.

"I could bring us some food from Pigsy's?" MK offered in an attempt to contribute. Something. "I mean, I know Red likes it and you kinda seemed to like it the one time you tried it and... uh... yeah."

"Actually... I may have eaten seven of them already..." PIF admitted, looking away in embarrassment. "l've tried not to give into the temptation, but your father's noodles from the Food Wars were so... I just can't resist ordering some secretly after 5 or so weeks!"

"So you're the phantom orderer!" MK gasped out in shock, but after a moment he frowned and rubbed the back of his head. He had a bit of an idea. "Well... I could... make some for us instead?" He ammended his offered softly. "I may not make it exactly like Pigsy does, but I can get pretty close as long as you have the ingredients! And you wouldn't have to worry about me going there and coming back! We can eat like. Immediately!"

"I think that sounds acceptable," PIF said with a nod as she stood, but MK could see a bit of excitement sparkling in her usually cold eyes. "Come, Red Son. I need to discuss some upgrades the Bull Clones have been asking for with you. Your father can assist him in the kitchen until we are done."

Red looked over at MK and only stood to follow his mother once he nodded, giving his father a pointed look before exited the room. MK, in the meantime, looking up at DBK with a gulp and followed him as he lead the way toward their kitchen.

It was... well, bigger than he was used to. But pretty normal, regal size and decor aside. And it seemed, once he was given the nod of ok from his host (and wasn't that a bizarre thing, DBK and PIF being his hosts on a home visit to his boyfriend's parents... he was going to need to get used to that) he checked the fridge and counters and found he had just about everything he needed to make what he had in mind.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" DBK asked after a moment, startling MK into nearly dropping the sauce he needed for the broth. "Not the recipe itself, just..." He gestured to the counter. "Red Son has a bit of a proclivity toward cooking and he's been trying to get me involved, but we've never cooked anything like. That."

His words were awkward and stilted, but MK could tell he was trying. The same way he could tell PIF wasn't kidding with her offer. They just seemed to... want to get to know him as a potential... son-in-law... huh.

"Sure, but you're gonna want to shrink down a bit for this."

Lunch turned out amazing and, while awkward (much like most of the day)... it was nice not to have to hide their dating for once. And Red actually seemed pretty happy! Though he learned quickly that the Monkey King was still a bit of an (understandably) sore subject that was best avoided. For now.

Maybe not forever though.

(When PIF very not subtly dropped him and Red Son both off inside Pigsy's Noodles after their lunch, the only response he got was a "oh, so they finally found out huh? Looks like things went well" from Pigsy and Tang. Maybe he wasn't as sneaky as he thought he was...)

[woahajimes]

Jon Kent had become an excellent liar. 

“We're never finding Damian.” 

That was a lie, although it could also count as truth. They were never finding Damian. 

He was. 

He didn’t have any of this information assured, but he was trusting that it kept real. He had known Damian for at least a year and a half, perhaps even less, but it had felt like forever. It was funny how people changed over time. 

When he met Damian, things were rocky. Jon actually despised Damian, he tried to get away from him. He’d always make excuses for leaving, either with Kathy, or his dad, or Maya, even. Damian had been too cocky, a little far too confident. 

Too sure of himself and his abilities, it made Jon angry. 

It filled him with envy. 

When they were sent to boot camp, Jon realized something. Damian was, sure, older than him, and more mature, and maybe not taller, but he was more skilled than Jon in almost everything he could do. 

Damian was, in a way, just like him. A small way, of course. Nothing big, they weren’t mirror on mirror. Jon hadn’t been raised by a supervillain grandfather, and Damian wasn’t a half-breed between an alien and a human.

That was really the reason that he offered Damian the granola bar. He realized the small chance that they were similar. They were both lost, in different ways, but lost altogether. Jon didn’t actually know if Damian had ever been lost, if Damian even knew that being lost meant. 

Maybe someday he’d find out. 

When Damian slipped into his room, mocked him for going to sleep while the moon was still living, when he dragged him out the window, mocked him once more for not being able to fly, that’s when Jon knew there was something. Something in Damian that made Jon want to stay, just for a while longer. 

When they matched in school, just a few educational years of a difference, nothing much, Jon was psyched. They were already close friends, even though not much had passed since Damian had visited him at night that first time. 

What could he say? They became friends pretty quickly. 

When Kid Amazo destroyed their headquarters, Jon and Damian had become pretty close friends. They were actually joking with each other, and mocking each other and making fun of each other, as friends do. Of course, Jon wouldn’t exactly know this by the palm of his hand, for friends weren’t exactly his area of expertise. 

Yet Damian felt like a friend, like a best friend. 

After all, he had saved him, when Jon was drowning at the bottom of Morrison Bay, given him a rebreather, and swam Jon’s limp, unconscious body for a few minutes, until Jon regained consciousness. 

Saving each other’s lives, they were practically inseparable. 

Their second Summer together came around, the whole gig with the cube of the fortress and the primary colours of Jon. If he was being honest, he really enjoyed that summer, perhaps the best summer in his ten years of life. Jon had always wanted a sibling, and that summer it felt like he had hit the jackpot. He could finally say that Damian was his best friend, at least without getting elbowed in the stomach. The golden kryptonite, Jon took it as a gift, being split in two, it was a portion of something he had wanted for so long: A brother. And even though having somewhat of a twin wasn’t as fun as he had expected, he enjoyed it, for as long as it lasted. 

Jon remembers telling Damian that he’s going to spend time with his grandfather. Jon was spending the night at the manor, he was sitting in front of the TV. 

“Hey, D?” Jon turned from the TV, he looked at Damian. “What are we doing this summer?” 

Damian drifted his eyes from the screen. He looked at Jon. “What do you mean?”

Jon rolled his eyes. “Summer is in like two days, dummy.” 

Damian shrugged, his eyes wandering back to the TV. “Nothing much, why?” 

Jon turned back to face the TV. “I think I’m going to go see my grandpa.” 

“Cool.” And that had been that. 

Jon should have told Damian a bit more, maybe then he would have been opposed to Jon leaving. Instead, he had left out minor details from Damian, details Clark had told him when Jon had left, when Jon had already spent a few years in the volcano prison. 

Jon had to admit that his time in the volcano prison had messed him up a bit. He had thought about Damian a lot, more than he’d like to admit. If Jon was around… what? Fifteen? Then Damian would have been around eighteen. It struck him a few days later, just how much he’d missed. Damian would have already left the school, maybe gone to some college for smart super-hero ninjas. Probably forgotten all about him, about the summer of super and the Kid Amazo and all the things that Jon held tight to his chest. He probably forgot about the time they played Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with pillow forts and nerf guns, about the times they ate cotton candy, sitting on the roof of the Carousel in the Hamilton fair. Pairing up for sports, even though they were three years apart in grades. 

Damian had probably forgotten about all that. 

It was really the Hamilton fairs that got to Jon. He used to love those as a kid. He went for the first time when he was nine, second time ten, third time eleven. The second time he went, it had been Jon’s first year since meeting Damian.

Damian couldn’t go for some mission with Batman, but Jon had met up with Kathy, He told her all about his adventures with Damian. She kept quiet, mostly because Jon wouldn’t be. It was pretty insane to think that this had all been in the same year, Jon meeting Damian, Jon moving away from Hamilton, to a private school, creating a public figure alongside Damian: the Super Sons. Nearly drowning in Morrison Bay, his mom almost killed, it was a bit too much for the mind of a 10-year-old.

Yet Jon got to the part in which he called Damian his best friend, and Kathy spoke up.

“Jon,” She stopped what she was doing and she met eyes with him. “What is it you even like about Damian?”

The question had caught him off-guard. “I- He’s kinda nice someti-”

“No,” Kathy interrupted him. “Not really, no. He’s not that nice at all.”

Jon kept quiet. He shrugged it off with a simple “I guess so,” and the night kept moving. He returned home, but Kathy’s question rung in his ears.

“What is it you even like about Damian?”

Jon sat on the office chair in his room, a marker on his hand. He stared blankly at the 9x9 whiteboard in front of him. He uncapped the marker and wrote down Damian’s name. 

He’s funny sometimes, Jon thought to himself. When he’s not being mean. He decided to write that down. 

He’s really smart, too. Jon wrote that down as well. 

He wrote down a few more things, all jots, and he reminded himself of the paper he had written for school not long ago. He took out his backpack, his binder, carefully opened the rings and slid out his paper. He started skimming it. 

“ ‘If I had to describe Damian in one word, it would be dependable,’ Jeez,’ Jon whispered into the room. “What was going on in my head?” 

He kept reading. “ ‘No matter what, when the chips are down, he always takes care of me.’” Yeah, that part was true. 

He read the last part in his head. I know I can trust him no matter what kinda trouble we find ourselves in.

Jon capped the marker, he deleted everything he had written on the whiteboard. He didn’t need a list for all the things he liked about Damian. He knew already, Damian was his best friend, no questions needed. 

Jon had done and said things he wasn’t proud of. He for one, developed new habits, bad habits. He wanted to pin an excuse on them, that it wasn’t his fault that he had developed such habits. It was just his reaction to being put in situations like that. Example taken, Jon had started to talk to himself. He wasn’t exactly sure if it was a habit or a sign that he was going insane, but he didn’t like it altogether. Remembering it was torture, it was a habit he started in the volcano prison. 

Jon clearly remembers that the first time he talked to himself, to Damian. When exactly, he wasn’t sure, but Jon had a hard time getting used to the lack of things, in this case, a small daily occurrence he shared with Damian. 

Their shared habit started in their first sleepover, it had rooted from something they were watching on the TV. The woman on the screen was putting her kids to sleep, and she asked her youngest boy, “What was your favourite part of the day?”, to which the boy answered “spending time with you, mom.” 

Damian snorted. “Let’s  watch something else.”

Jon whipped his head around and looked at Damian. “Let’s pick a movie.” His eyes beamed, he was grinning. 

They had picked out a movie they never got tired of rewatching: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid. They had turned off the movie early, Alfred coming in and telling them to get ready to sleep. 

Each in their perspective beds, both had been quiet for a while, until Damian spoke up. He pitched his voice, and said, “What was your favourite part of the day?” Mimicking the woman. 

Jon snickered. “Spending time with you, Dami.” He pronounced the new nickname like ‘Day-me’, and heard Damian make a vomiting sound. 

“Don’t you dare call me that,��� Damian sat up, and Jon did as well. “I will end you, Kent.”

Jon waved his hand, he could make out Damian’s expression even with the lights turned off. “Pfft, what about Dami?” He pronounced it like ‘D-ah-me’. 

Damian’s expression softened. “Mother used to call me that,” he said. “She wasn’t very fond of nicknames, but I guess she liked that one.”

Jon felt heat rising to his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to touch a sore subject. He knew there was a complicated relationship with Damian and his mom. “I think I’ll just stick with ‘D’.” he said quickly. 

Damian laid back down on his bed, he turned away from Jon. “No, it’s fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night, J.” 

Jon still sat on the bed, he arranged his pillow. “D?”

“Yeah?”

“‘Hukka’” 

Jon could have sworn Damian smiled, just a little. “‘Hukka’, Jon.”

It was embarrassing to sorts, Jon had to admit. Whispering ‘Hukka’ to himself at night, swearing that he could see Damian if he just squinted a little bit. Asking Damian how his day went, swearing that he could almost hear an answer, the things you did for lost best friends. 

Jon had also thought about Damian, yet in more ways than those. Sometimes he wondered if Damian still wore turtlenecks, if he had made any new friends. What if he had gotten a girlfriend? Or a boyfriend? Worse, what if Damian had found a new best friend? A new super-hero partner, someone that didn’t leak tears when they watched movies like Coraline. Someone more like Damian, like a… super-smart ninja assassin. 

When Jon finally spotted earth, a late teen, he started thinking about everything that could have been. Perhaps if Jon hadn’t left, him and Damian would have been having ice cream and maybe getting their own statue as the super sons. Maybe they’d have moved past the Super sons. 

Jon wondered where Damian was now. Maybe he was Batman, although Jon secretly wished that he wasn’t. He had always thought that Batman was cool, but it wasn’t really Damian. Batman was in a way, everything that Damian wasn’t. But if Damian wanted to be Batman, then Jon really didn’t see why not. Could Jon be the Superman to his Batman? Maybe? 

It took him as an overall surprise, realizing that only three weeks had passed. It made hope linger in his stomach, a fluttery feeling. Maybe he hadn’t missed so much after all. 

But Damian had stared at him like a stranger, like he used to stare at the boys at school. It made Jon’s heart stop beating, just for a few moments. He wanted to cry on Damian’s shoulder, even if Damian had only aged three weeks. Damian had rejected him, and that hurt more than Jon could have expected. Damian had collected himself, after a short time, and they spent the night together. Then, before Damian left, he hugged Jon, tightly. Maybe Damian was also feeling what Jon was. 

Maybe his letter proved that. Maybe the letter was Damian’s way of expressing everything that he felt for Jon. 

So Jon set out to find Damian, to ask him about the letter. To finally explain to him everything he wanted to say. 

[g-lbertblythe]

Loving You Is A Losing Game

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x the reader, JJ Maybank x the reader

Summary: You decided to go after Sarah when she had got lost with John B. In order to find her, you have to save JJ from Rafe first.

Could be some grammer and spelling mistakes.

What the hell was going on?

You asked yourself because Sarah wasn't around for you to ask her. She left the Midsummer party that was in honor of his father. There's got to be a good reason for that, you thought to yourself. You were curious and a little bit worried about her whereabouts. You've seen her with one of the pogues, with John B the other day. He was working for Cameron's and known for his really crowded beach parties. You have seen him and Sarah at the dock and she was suspiciously acting different since then and it wasn't even that long ago. Also you could literally sense in the air that something's off. Not knowing what's happening driving you crazy, you got to know. You see Rafe and Topper chatting, they must know something. On your way to them, you spotted the waiter and stopped him. You didn't recognize the blonde until he turned around and face you. His shirt was not in order, there was a cut on his lower lips left side and the way he holds the tray was so loose, he was too close to drop it and it even got one empty glass on it. You knew the guy, he was JJ and you knew he was friend with John B who you think with Sarah right now because you saw her and him talking just before she got lost. You had questions about that. Lots of questions. Before you were able to approach to Sarah and John B, they were nowhere in sight like in blink of an eye. You only went to talk to some boring people for a second because your mother eyed you to do so.

"Are you working here?" You asked and it sounded more suspicious than you intend to be, your eyebrow went a little up without your willing.

"No I just like serving drinks to kooks for fun." He said violently. "Purpose of my life."

You ignored what he said and decided to turn this into an advantage. "I want tequila. Please."

"You are a minor." He said examining you up and down. Then his eyes met yours. He was a minor, too.

" Like you're the most sensitive person about minor drinking."

"I'll be back within a second." He said in a tone that is not very convincing. You were sure he wasn't even here for working. He was the living proof that something was going on.

JJ was about to leave the pary because his misson was done, he had delivered John B's message to Sarah, now he got to get out of here. Then he noticed Rafe and Topper and couple of his other friends saw him. He paced up his steps as he saw they were coming his way. Now, he got to get out of here really fast, preferably before getting beating up.

When Rafe punched him in the face at the second of floor of the Cameron's household, he once more decided that he was sick of getting beaten up but there were four of them. Still he pushed Rafe of off him and ready to attack but somebody else hold him and he got another beat in his stomach.

There was no way out of here. He got himself trapped, how much of a stupid idea to get in the house when everyone else was outside? He sweared himself inside.

"What the hell?" JJ heard a voice that doesn't belong to none of the boys who were beating him currently. He was grateful because the voice of the source made them stop. Rafe let go of his collar but still someone else holding him still so he can't slip out.

Rafe walked forward to the entrance while wiping the blood on his hand. "Just go Y/N. Nothing to see here."

JJ saw you standing at the doorsill, totally shocked by the scene in front of you. You looked at JJ's bloody face and noticed that he's breathing noisily. God, it's good that you followed him in here. They were about to bash him up.

Then you turned to Rafe, probably he was the person who's responsible for what's happening here. "You're about to murder someone and you want me to stay away from it?" You asked Rafe who looks like not patient enough to listen to what you have to say. "Let him go." You cut it short.

"We aren't murdering him, we are just teaching him a second lesson about not taking a step here ever again. Isn't that right?" Rafe turned to JJ and slapped his face in fake friendly way. It made JJ aggressively try to free himself from Topper who's holding him behind but Topper had a firm grip on him.

"I'll call the security." You threatened Rafe, he thought you won't do it even though the expression you put on your face was telling him the other way. He knew you had a soft spot for him as he does for you. He got to that conclusion because you were distant and cold with people you don't know and always hide behind smart sentences. You rarely show affection to the ones you do love but he always finds you very caring and sympathetic around him. And the the same thing goes for him. That's why he knew you wouldn't say anything.

He just laughed and was ready to punch JJ again.

"You think I won't do it?" You tried to stop him but he punched him so hard on some part of JJ's body you couldn't see. JJ moaned with pain. Then Rafe again turned to you with his evil smirk on his face. God, you knew him since you were kids. How did he get this way? He wasn't like this. Maybe never an angel but not this satanic sadistic person either. He wasn't known with his kindness to other people but you had a chance to get to know him more than anyone because your relationship with Sarah enable you to know each other since you were kids. He was just hurt like everybody else, he only had a very unpleasant way of showing it.

"The security is here to protect us from people like him. They won't do a shit."

You know until the security comes they would still beat him to death and got away with it because you were all rich and the security,indeed, were for them. You were the ones who were paying them.

Rafe got closer to you and tried to put his hand on your cheeks but you blocked him. "Look, I don't want you to witness what's happening here. Just go downstairs and enjoy the party. We wouldn't want your lovely dress to get dirty." He said, looking at your eyes as he was waiting for acceptance from you but you only glared at him. God, he could be the greatest ass sometimes.

"I'm calling your mom." You passed through Rafe and walk towards to Topper. "I am sure she wouldn't be pleased to hear his son is a some sort of vigilante now. Don't you think?" You could see the fear of what his mother migt do when she finds out in Topper's eyes. His looks went between me and Rafe but he eventually let JJ go. Rafe gave him a disappointed and angry look as he was passing by Rafe in order to leave the room but Topper shrugged his shoulders and said "What?". Topper's giving up meant the others had no other choice than withdrawal.

Everybody knew how much strict his mother was and he would do anything to please her. They did had to leave even though they didn't want to. You made sure by watching them get out of the room. When everybody was gone, you kneeled next to JJ. He was wiping the blood on his face with his white shirts sleeves.

"Are you okay?" You asked watching him do what he does and be careful to give him enough space he wouldn't elbow you in the process of clearing his face.

He just nodded and whispered something that sounds like a thanks. Kept brushing his face until all of his sleeves were all red. His old bruise on his lip was renewed and had new companions. He whimpered whenever he touched the parts close to the bone. The way he cleans his face was so fast as If he just wants to be finished as soon as possible and leave. Or it was just a regular and boring procedure for him because most of the times you see him, you see him with bruised face. It must have been a pogue thing, you guessed. You heard that he has a gun too.

You kept watching his hand movements until he stopped and looked at you curiously. Wondering what you were still doing here and you've been watching very carefully. He didn't even tried to stop himself from staring at you. You were waiting , your hands on on your legs, to him to be finished. You guessed he was done. "I want something in return."

"Of course you want." He rolled his eyes. He attempted to get up, put his hand on his sides to balance himself. You pulled yourself back and also got up.

"Do you know where Sarah is?" You asked.

"How can I know that? Aren't you her bestfriend?" He said, he held his stomach. Probably was hurting because of all the kicking and all. Still, he had enough energy to lie to you. You knew he has something to do with Sarah's absence. You were not a fool, in fact, you were an excellent observer.

"Okay, you decided you wanna play this game. " You got closer to him so he could see your face clearly. It's time to be intimidating now and show him you'd know more than he thinks you know."I know she's with John B. Something is going on and I have to know. I am sure you know where they are."

He didn't seem so affected by your intimidating voice. He just looked at your eyes blankly. "Did you ever wonder why your bestfriend didn't tell you anything? "

You were actually obsessed with this thing because of that.Sarah would tell you everything, well except this but you never thought it was because she wanted it to keep it hidden from particularly you. You didn't let JJ get into your head. "None of your business. Now tell me where she is."

"I am telling you nothing." He said daringly and started walking out. Why he was so secretive about where she is? You got suspicious more and more but this time even worried.

"I'm just worried about her." Your voice had softened and you thought that's why he stopped. You knew how much pogues are protective and interdepent about each other. "This isn't like her."

"You'll talk to her when she gets back. " He turned back. "Don't worry we don't bite." Walked out the door without you got a chance to answer him.

You started following him, he heard the loud sound that your heels left on the floor and carelessly, turned back to check if it was you. He didn't stop walking and didn't even say anything about you following him. You watched him behind as his hair went up and down with his every big step. You caught up to him, you had to run, he was so fast. He just gave you a glimpse when you were in the same alingment.

"I'll call the security." You said, having hard times keeping up with him. "You obliviously sneaked into the party. Attacked the guests."

"I didn't attack the guests, I was just minding my own business, they attacked me." He protested as he kept pacing, not even facing you. He was so focused on leaving here. Yet again, he turned to you as his face had a new expression: confused. "You just saw them."

"Well, I think the security would rather believing me than believing a notorious delinquent." He stopped walking and his whole body and his face met with your lifted brow and smirking in pleasure of having an advantage face. He got little steps towards you and squinted his eyes but in a amusing way.

"Are you blackmailing me?" He said that in very offending way. He heard you are a smart mouth but he always thought you were a quiet, minding her own business type of person. It was the first time you two are actually talking. He didn't expect you to be so, well, demanding and persistent.

"No. " You said softly. "I'm just giving you conceivable reasons to tell me where Sarah is. That's all."

He chuckled looking at the ground with a little head shake but he poked his cheek with his tongue to contain himself. He was in a hurry. When he managed to get a firm face, your eyes met. "Call the security If you want, they'll just throw me away but I'm already leaving" He said and gave you an fake smile and begin to walk again. "Try something else." He said at your failed attempt but you saw it as a dare. He took a quick turn unexpectedly. It made you almost trip and left you behind him. You noticed he did that avoid something. Someone. It strucked you in that moment. You looked back to confirm. He startled because he spotted Rafe's friends near the stairs standing.

"You know Rafe would like to know your whereabouts. " You stopped him and pointed with your finger where Kelce and Jeremy drinking and talking to each other so loudly. It looked like they are fighting. " It looks like he's not giving up." This time he looked indecisive about what to do. His eyed for a way out. He nearly growled in frustration. You found the voice amusing but didn't laugh. You wanted him to take you seriously.

"I'll get you out of here without you getting beaten up again, If you take me to Sarah. Is that where you're going, isn't it?" He squinted his eyes, deciding his next move. You were afraid he might start running, you wouldn't be able to catch him If he did.

Fortunately, he chose not to run away, probably haven't noticed you're not fast enough. He turned on his heels and muttered angrily. "Just take me to the beach."

You tried to hide your excitement over getting what you seek. Contrary the general idea, your life was dull as fourth season of a really bad tv series. It was your first time you had so much attraction in one night. You felt guilty as soon as you thought this was a adventurous night. Your friend was nowhere to be found for god sake, you said to yourself. And you had something very important to say her.

You spotted Rafe and Topper at the other side of the floor, waiting for JJ to show up. Before you get too close to Rafe and Topper, you two stop to think your way out.

"There's no way we can go that way. Let's try the other way. " He said hiding himself behind a column.

"What other way? There's no other way." You said checking constantly if they see you.

"We can jump from the window?" He suggested like it is an easy thing to do. He must have no idea how high is this house.

"This is the second floor." You felt like stating because he seems so down with the idea.

"So?" He said, finding very weird that you object. His blonde hair swinged from his head shaking. His face was covered in bruises, one on his right cheeck bone, some on his jawline. He squinted his eyes even though it must have hurt to do it.

"I am not jumping from the second floor. " You emphasized. "I am wearing a dress."

He took a glimpse of what you were wearing. It was a long black dress that covers your breats and waist perfectly. It was so long that hems of it were mostly sweeping the ground. Your hair was a loose bun, it looked very natural although there were so many daisy clasps on your hair in the name of the Midsummer.

"You'll get a new one." He said. "I am jumping of the window, you can stay here with your pretty dress. " Before he was about to leave he checked out your dress once more. "I really mean the last part." He winked. You didn't take anything he said seriously. There was no way you are jumping of the window. You stopped him by holding his arm. The second he stopped and faced you, you let go. "You are already hurt. You can't jump. I have a better idea. The safer way out."

"I don't need to do a safer way." He said in a low voice.

"You are one dangerous guy, yes, so I've noticed." You heard the some of the words of Rafe and Topper so you checked once more If they could see you. When you made sure that they don't you turned your head to JJ. "Don't worry, this won't spoil your reputation, bad guy. I'll distract them, you go behind their back, okay?"

He nodded in agreement. You intend to take action, you had another thought. He could've leave without you when he got downstairs. "You wouldn't bail me on, would you?" You asked him, directly looking at his really blue eyes to see if they match his answer or not. You sincerely wanted to trust him but not entirely sure that he won't leave you.

He was taken aback the look upon your face, your eyes wandered his so tensely he got nervous. And what you said or the way you said it. He couldn't be sure but it sounded from the heart. "No. " He said, trying to make it sound reassuring.

You nodded slowly before you stopped the eye contact with him, you made sure he wasn't faking it until the last moment. Eventually took his words although you weren't hundred percent convinced but still went through your plan again in your head once more. You took a deep breath and turned on your heels and made your way to Rafe. "Wait for my signal." You said only turning your head back to JJ.

"Hey!" He grabbed your hand and made you face him."What signal?"

"I don't know." You said. "You'll know it when you see it. Stay close."

JJ murmured under his breath when you joined the two kooks in tuxedos. He got closer to three of you and hid behind a large posh plant. It had wide leaves to cover him perfectly.

"Rafe, can I talk to you?" You said after giving them a slight greeting with your head. Rafe blinked a few times after placing his hands on his pockets. You turned to Topper. "Could you get us something to drink?" You smiled politely.

As Topper attempt to leave, he was stopped by Rafe. "She wants you to leave us alone." Rafe said only eye contacting with you. " There's no need for drinks." Added this time talked directly at Topper.

"Yeah, I figured that out." Topper said in confusion before he went down. Rafe had to made sure that he made you feel like you were not a mystery to him. So stating the oblivious was his way of proving it but you didn't consider too much. He was always a little uncomfortable and a little happy that you always psychoanalyze him. You often tend to be right. You knew he was feeling like the black sheep of the family and how much he wanted his father love and approval. You thought the reason hidden behind his aggressive behaviors was this. You knew he wasn't bad underneath it all. You have witnessed it. Otherwise he wouldn't be taking his little sisters little friend so seriously. Somehow you were sure that he cares about you, in his own way at least.

You took Topper's former place as soon as he left, therefore Rafe had to turn his back on the stairs as you planned. You looked at JJ's direction without being noticed by Rafe. You saw his hair and his eyes, watching you two talk. You were glad he didn't go to jump from a window.

"What was tonight all about?" You questioned him. He was standing tall, his chin up a little too proud way and a smirk on his face. It was a disturbing smile but then again a smile at least. It was a rare thing to detect on his face lately.

"Well, it's about my father's contributions to -"

You rolled your eyes at his not so funny explanation. "I meant the shenanigans you pull in your little Fight Club?"

"Shenanigans?" He laughed looking at the ground. He was taller than you so he had to look down to meet his eyes with yours. "We had unclosed business, nothing more than that."

"Why are you doing this?" You asked him when you remembered his mood when you caught him beating JJ. It was scary, like something took over him. "This won't make your father notice you."

You normally don't get this subject but you had to draw his attention and nothing mattered to him more than being a bad son.

"I don't need you to give me a therapy, okay?" He got pretty aggressive quickly. His blue eyes got wider and he nearly spit on your face while talking. The rare smile was gone and his usual angry expression was back. Then you noticed how red his eyes are.

"I am not. I just felt an urge to warn you. The things you do will end up biting you in the ass."

"No, it's not how things work. I am just protecting what's mine, do you understand? If you're worried about that shithead, he only barks at his own territory. "

You find it hard to understand his hatred for pogues. You wanted to change the conversation because Rafe was getting angrier and you saw JJ can hear you talk and he doesn't look like he was happy with what heard or patient enough to listen to it any longer.

"I am not worried about him. I am worried about you." You said but felt like you must continue because it sounded too sentimental for your taste or Rafe's taste. "Your dad already gives you little allowance, you'll end up with nothing."

"He won't do anything If you say nothing to him or to Sarah. She wouldn't keep her mouth shut for once. " He said, you knew the threading tone in his voice comes from a habit, from his urge to protect himself from everyone. If you didn't know him any better you wouldn't know he's actually asking you not to tell anybody. He was different and mostly, difficult to understand, you think that's why his relationship with everyone was really bad. Nobody could see his real intentions behind his sick behaviors. You couldn't blame anyone, it wasn't easy to detect or once you detect it wasn't easy to sustain.

"Of course I am not going to say anything." As soon as he heard those words, he was relieved. His straight posture relaxed with an inhale, his jaw loosened and his eyes softened as he gained his good mood. He put on his crooked smile and it made the wrinkles near his mouth appear and his eyes had a similar vibe. "You can't resist me."

And the expected happened, him flirting with you for fun was the way of figuring out if he's in a good state. "Well, as much as I'd tell myself stop finding you charming when you're beating the shit out people, can't help it."

JJ could hear the things you talked and quite surprised seeing Rafe like he's...happy. Or decent for once. He thought the possibility of Rafe liking someone and the whole thing would sound so surreal if he hadn't witnessed his looks towards you. He felt bad for you though, it was Rafe after all. Then he wondered If you liked him too -because who would survive a moment with Rafe without feeling pure hatred at the end? You looked like you actually care about him. You must be a fool to like Rafe of all people, he thought. Then he remind himself he should keep himself aware of every act of you, so he wouldn't miss your "signal".

"Dont be so surprised of yourself. " said Rafe. "It's so obvious you are a bad boy loving type of girl."

You let out really loud laughter, there were even tears in the corners of your eyes. He watched you laugh with a satisfied smile on his face that he caused it.

"Bad boy loving type of girl?" You said continue to laugh, maybe more than before. You really found the way he put it very amusing. "If you were a bad boy before, you got yourself off the hook with that sentence. " You said a few seconds you calmed yourself.

"You don't deny it." Rafe said, with an intense look in his eyes. It made you a little terrified, you forgot you were laughing seconds ago. Everything with Rafe was so tense.

"Deny what? That I like bad boys?"

Rafe nodded and waited for you answer as the other blonde did wonder the same thing. JJ felt like you caught up with your conversation and forgot that he's there waiting for you to rescue him but also he was caught up with it too. He found himself guessing Rafe might be right about something for the first time in his life. JJ felt disgusted with himself agreeing with Rafe but you were kind of girl who looks so tough like nothing could hurt you. They way you talk, the way you move like simple things as you lift your eyebrows or smile- they looked distant, arrogant and so satisfied with yourself. You looked like you are not easy to break but you were pretty sure and made everyone sure of that you could break another, could read their minds. In his brief interaction with you, JJ could easily picked this things up. People like you thinks they can fix anything, so also made JJ think you would like the danger and the attraction of a bad boy, would try to make him want to be better. It was so clichè maybe but still felt like it.

"Do you really think I'm that transparent?" You asked Rafe, you wanted to know if he thinks he got you all figured out. "What made you come to that conclusion?"

Rafe shrugged like he don't know but his eyes beg to difference. "Just a hunch."

"Well, as we all know, I didn't have much experience about this things. I am neutral. "You said even bringing up your non existing love life was not a comfortable subject for you.

"You have no experience of anything really but you act like you know everything." He said as a reference to the disagreement you two had about weed and the heavy stuff he takes. These words were the part of his indestructible defence of how harmless it is him getting high on a daily basis.

"I don't need to get high every time I got a chance and loose my shit to know it's bad. I'd have you known I was the one you begged for money, I was the one who saved your ass from your psycho dealer." You got so angry with him in light of speed. Everytime he promises not use it but he ends up doing it again.

"I said I'll pay you back, okay?" He sounded so used up with this talk again.

You rolled you eyes, you really hold yourself to not scream at his face. "I don't want you to pay me. I want you stop smoking it."

You had your eyebrows knitted, it made your forehead hurt. You didn't stop the eye contact with him but he did. He didn't like to be told what he should do. His jaw clenched but he was still so calm compared to other times. He would be gone right now if it's has been someone else.

You grabbed his chin and made him look at you. His eyes checked if it was your hand who touches his face because you never liked any physical contact unless it is so necessary. After he made sure it was you he was going to say something about it but he saw you way too frustrated with himself he didn't go for it. You always got so mad about this.

"You think that I don't notice your red eyes? " You asked and slowly left his smooth chin but the look upon your face stayed the same. "Stop doing this to yourself."

"Don't tell me what to do!" He said clenching his teeth, trying not to go too far with you. Still, he sounded as mad as you.

You remembered the presence of JJ, you got too carried away with Rafe you totally forgot what you came for in the first place and you didn't like he hears this private conversation about Rafe. Without getting caught, you checked if he is still there. You saw the tips of his hair behind the tree, and you knew he was looking at you although his eyes weren't in sight. Still, this talk with Rafe was way important than anything right now. Hell if he hears, why would he care?

"Do I have to remind you that Barry was here to hurt you, Rafe? Not to ask nicely, to actually hurt you physically? " You started whispering, got nervous about JJ hearing you guys talk but worse someone else might too. Rafe, as a typical addict, didn't like to hear this things so he was moving away and not facing you. He was wishing for you stop nagging about this.

"He came to the club Rafe! He threatened you and me!" You said trying to be in his sight as he kept turning his head to any sight you are not in.

"He won't do that you again, okay? " He said, locked his eyes to yours and looked like he's reliving the day in his mind. He got the same terrifying look. He spilled words after words in anger, repeating himself. You couldn't interrupt him, he wasn't breathing between the sentences. "I won't get you involved again okay? I made sure he won't try to hurt you. Or anyone else. He will never come to anywhere near you or my family. I took care of it. Do you understand? I won't let him. And I'll will pay you back. Promise. Do you believe me?"

You wanted to say so many things to him but it was obvious he was not in the right state of my mind to understand anything logical you have to say. He had to get cleaned up but all his dad was pushing him away and it made Rafe go more stray. You knew how crushing it feels being the less loved child of the family just because you are who you are. You knew Rafe mostly assume you help him because you feel accomplished when he's desperate. He once said it to you he feels like time to time although he knows your relationship with your mom. The truth is you see yourself in him sometimes. Now, seeing his eyes got blurred up and longing for someone to believe in him, simply just to love him, made you almost cry.

"You belive me, right Y/N?" He found himself asking again. Replaced both of his hands in your arms. Sometimes he couldn't stop the flowing of feelings inside of him, all the words were out of his mouth before he could put them in an order. Your eyes were staring into his, he could see there were something in them but you not saying anything was driving him mad.

"I do. "

"You do?" Rafe said with a broken smile, he had to check again to make sure what he heard was real.

" I do. I really do." You said once more with louder, certain tone. The words, they didn't feel enough him to understand. His pink lips were shaped as a smile but there were tears ready to drop in the corner of his eyes. You hold his body with your arms that he already has a grab on and closed the gap between you two. His hands moved up from your elbow to to your back and they ended up holding you so tight there, you felt you could never get out of it if he doesn't let you. You placed your head on his right shoulder, trying not to feel so sorry for him, you might burst into tears. You wouldn't like crying in front of him. All he needed a little love, all children wants to be loved by their parents. It was fundamental and when you don't receive it, you got so messed up inwardly, it might never be healed by anything. Both of you needed it but you knew neither of you could provide that to each other. Still, you could try. You whispered into his hears, making sure of your voice is the only thing gets into his head. "You'll make everything right, okay?"

"Okay." He said and repeated it more than once, trying to convince you. He didn't want to let down the only person who says that believes in him.

You startled instantly, hoped Rafe didn't sense it. With your left hand placed on Rafe's back, you waved JJ to let him know he should walk out now. When he saw you two hug, he was already preparing you to slip away but got scared that it's a brief hug and Rafe might turn his back and detect him. Surprisingly it was a long and intense hug he sees. As he saw your signal, he took action. On his tiptoes but still so quickly he made his way to the stairs and got lost in seconds. On his way, he wondered, did you planned this hug so Rafe can't see him escape or did it occur unintentionally?

You let your hands off of Rafe and it was a cue for him to let you go. Being this melancholic wasn't good for any of you. You don't like being vulnerable, especially around people. And you thought Rafe wouldn't like it either. Anyway, you had to go after JJ before he leaves without you. After you pulled away from each other, you moved a step back just in case. Being so close with Rafe or anyone felt so uncomfortable. Not that you didn't like Rafe, it was because something you didn't know or something you are afraid to admit. If you keep it going on and like the intimacy, you might never let it go.

"I have to go back to my duty to talk every dull guest and let them bore me with their questions about my future and present." You said. Rafe couldn't trace the emotions he saw in your eyes a minute ago. It was like they never happened. He didn't question for so long, you had a habit of ignoring anything troubling happening to you. And he went along with it.

"Why? Come with us to where the real fun is. "

"My mom makes me." You said and it was enough for him to understand to you have to do what she says to do. You obeyed everything she says to you but only her. You were really stubborn with Rafe.

"Don't have too much fun when I'm suffering." You said with a fake threatening look and smiled after that and he did as well. You took a few steps back to indicate that you are getting ready to leave.

"Don't have too much fun." He repeated with huge grin. "The motto of your life."

You rolled your eyes at him playfully and left him without saying anything in return. He was right.

As soon as you left the house, you headed towards to the beach, JJ said that's where he was going. You had to took off your heels when they met the sand. You kept hoping he's there waiting but as you got closer the sea, the darkness took over all the lights of the house you left behind. Nevertheless you kept moving into the darkness, you could hear the sound of the waves clearer but there was nothing in sight. You cursed yourself inwardly for trusting someone like JJ to return a favor. You felt so let down and the shoes in your hand was weighting you down or it was the disappointment. You weren't mad at JJ, you were mad at yourself for believing him.

Then, a little ahead of you, two weak ball of light appeared. You blinked few times to understand what it belongs to. It was something on the surface, it must be a boat, you guessed, then you heard a whisper. It was calling your name.

"Y/N?"

You smiled and make your way to the light. "JJ?" You asked as you ran. You were sure you heard him but not able to see him. As soon as he heard you reply, he was ready to poke Pope to turn on all the lights but Pope already took care of it. You saw the boy on the boat, standing in front of the control panel. You knew his name but never talked to him before really. Then you saw JJ waiting for you at the back of the boat. He looked better than before, happy to get out of there safe and sound and meet his friend here.

"I thought you left." You said with a relieved smile on your face you just cannot hide. He put on a similar one and it was the most genuine one you recieved from him all night.

"I thought you changed your mind." He said and extended a hand for you to climb the boat. You took it.

"You wish." As he pulled you and gave you a little smile.

To be continued.

[sugarsugarmoon]

A Dash of Magic

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x reader x Taehyung

Genre: Smut

Rating: Mature

Warnings: oral sex (m/f receiving), unprotected sex, threesome, sort of facefucking, slight cumplay

a/n: tbh, I don’t even know if this makes sense. It’s unedited. For @cheba-o​

WC: 3845

The thing about Cedric Diggory was he was always just so...perfect. And that rubbed you the wrong way. He excelled in all of his classes, played Seeker on the Quidditch team, and had throngs of admiring teens following him everywhere that he went.

No thank you.

No matter how much you tried to avoid it, and him, there was no way around the 4 classes that you had together. Not to mention that it felt like you passed him on his way to the Hufflepuff Common Room every time you were on your way to the dungeons. You had to do that awkward thing where you say goodbye to someone while you’re still walking the same way, so you just have to speed up to make it look like you were going somewhere with purpose.

You wouldn’t say you hated him. You didn’t. You just didn’t get what the fuss is. Everyone fawning all over his every move. There had been smart, brave, good-looking Quidditch players before, and there would be more in the future. You didn’t talk to him much, but there was no way that all that attention didn’t go directly to his head. That nice and kind thing had to be an act.

And yet, somehow, you find yourself here, in the living room of Cedric’s parents house. This wouldn’t have been your first choice. 

To explain how you got here, you have to explain how you ended up standing next to Tae, holding his hand while your toes wiggle nervously in your shoes. Taehyung was a whole different beast. Similar to Cedric in many ways, but different enough to have caught your eye back in fourth year.

Slytherin had shared classes with Hufflepuff your fourth year, and Taehyung caught your eye. He was always doing silly things with his friends while being naturally good at almost everything. He was a little bit clumsy but incredibly handsome. You pretended to be put off by him, but your teenage heart screamed out for attention from him. You’d never have told your friends, and you openly mocked him in class if he messed anything up. One day after class, he confronted you about why you hated him so much.

“You’re joking?” you spat at him, trying not to give away your emotions in your voice.

“No, I’m not. What did I ever do to you?” he asked you, keeping you cornered enough that you couldn’t easily slip around him.

“I don’t hate you,” you mumbled, unable to keep up the game.

“You...you don’t?”

“No. I’ve got like...a thing for you or whatever. It doesn’t matter. I hate you because I want to kiss you or whatever. Go away.” The words just kind of spilled out of your mouth, and you almost wanted to laugh at the ridiculous flow of words. Oh well. This is who you are. Awkward and averse to emotions.

“Oh,” he blurts out. “Oh!”

You felt the heat in your face with embarrassment, and you closed your eyes, breathing deeply.

“Yep. Okay. I gotta go.” You tried to push past him without actually touching him, but he stopped you.

“Well, don’t you want to know how I feel?” he asked.

You raised your eyebrows, and your mouth fell slightly open.

“I mean...I don’t know you that well, but I’d like to.” He smirked as he said it.

And that was it. It was over for you from that moment on. You were wrapped around his long, lithe fingers, and he seemed to be imprinted on you. The two of you bonded and shared everything over the following years, so that when it came time to build your life, you of course built it together.

And yet, even though you were tremendously happy with Taehyung, there were needs that you felt like weren’t always met with Taehyung. Sometimes sexually, sometimes interpersonally. Taehyung is so kind and caring, but at times, he struggles to listen to your problems without wanting to fix them. He always feels like he has to jump up and do something about it. You want to be more experimental in bed, and you know that he misses the physical connection with men.

And long story short, that’s how you ended up here. In Amos Diggory’s living room, waiting awkwardly for Cedric to come downstairs. Your fingertips brush against Tae’s palm without taking his hand into yours. You shift your weight between your legs, hearing the slight swish of your pants rubbing together.

After you’d graduated from Hogwarts, Taehyung and Cedric had both taken jobs at the Ministry of Magic. They were starting next week. You’d decided to work in your uncle’s apothecary where you could work with plants and potions all day long, living the true green witch life you’d always wanted.

You had agreed to come with Taehyung to collect Cedric and take him to his new little flat in the middle of London. It was near yours, and you were all able to get quickly to The Ministry and Knockturn Alley quickly. You avoided telling people that the shop you worked in was in Knockturn Alley because they always associated it with the Dark Arts. You especially felt nervous when Amos Diggory asked what you did, and you couldn’t come up with an answer. Taehyung jumped in saying you worked at the family apothecary, a small place he’d probably never heard of. The three of you then talked about potions and ingredients for a while until Cedric finally appeared at the bottom of the steps.

He had a large bookbag with him, and he announced that he had used magic to transport the rest of his luggage to his new place. You didn’t see why he couldn’t just use magic to transport himself there too. Ya know, by himself. But you’d already argued with Tae about it enough, and you didn’t have a good enough reason besides “I don’t wanna” to not go help him out.

Cedric smiles huge at you and Taehyung then gives his dad a big hug. His dad claps him hard on the back and tries to cover up the fact that he's getting misty-eyed. Eventually, you all say your goodbyes, and you are headed back to London.

On the train, Tae and Cedric chat happily and excitedly, speculating about their upcoming jobs, bosses, and coworkers. They will both be working in the Department of International Magical Cooperation. They discuss the opportunity for working abroad in the future, though to begin with they will likely be staying in London, doing grunt work. They are both so excited and giddy that you can’t help but catch a little bit of the bounciness.

When you reach Cedric’s flat, you and Taehyung agree to help him unpack, though with magic, it isn’t too difficult. You reflect on moving as a kid from Mexico all the way to England. There was so much work involved, and you couldn’t help but feel out of place for 3 or more years. Even now, you still feel a little out of place. 

With a few waves of your wands, the rooms are set up, looking like a cozy, young adult’s flat, hardly showing any traces that the occupant just moved in today. You look around at each other and smile, feeling accomplished. The smile on Cedric’s face and the eye contact that he makes with you makes you heat up in the cheeks again. You feel embarrassed that you felt a lurch in your stomach and slight heat between your thighs.

This was the first time that you’d ever felt anything but contempt for him. You internally roll your eyes at yourself. You refuse to become just another girl fawning over Cedric Diggory. No matter how cute he looks with his hair all mussed from running his hands through it. No matter how much your eyes can’t keep from tracing the shape of his pectoral muscles under his tight t-shirt.

You realize this is the first time that you’ve seen Cedric not in his school or Quidditch robes. You decide that is what has got you feeling some type of way today. He just looks different in regular clothes. Your brain is just trying to figure out and judge the switch. You finally bug Tae into heading home. You wish Cedric a fairly cold farewell and head toward the Tube.

Weeks later, you have settled into your new routine with Tae. You’d been working at the apothecary all summer, but Tae just started his job. It was a shift, him not always being home when you got home, but it gave you a chance to work on making your house more cozy. Even though Tae is the Hufflepuff, you were constantly trying to make everything in your house feel homey, filled with plants, throws, and tea.

Cedric has come over several times for dinner, and you’ve felt yourself warming to him. There was less pressure to feel like you had to not just be another girl fawning over him because you weren’t in school dealing with the popularity contests that teenagers always feel like matter. You’ve realized that it doesn’t matter how other people perceive him or if you behave differently than them. You can like who you like and be fond of who you’re fond of.

The last two times that he’d been over, you all had sat on the slightly-too-small-for-three-people couch, with you in the middle, and watched movies. Tonight, Cedric was over, and the three of you were once again on the couch. Tae had his arm around you, and you were leaning more toward him, so as to not make Cedric uncomfortable. Your thigh was still touching his lightly, but you tried to give him as much space as you could.

You are watching Caddyshack because someone had told Tae that it was an American classic that you had to see, and you love Bill Murray. It was funny, but you’re not sure that you would call it a must-see. 

When Bill Murray says, “sir, if I kill all the golfers, they’ll lock me up and throw away the key,” Cedric laughs deeply from his chest, and he throws his hands up. When they come back down, one hand is resting on your knee. You don’t think the moment was funny enough to warrant that response, sure a sharp exhale through your nose or even a chortle would have been appropriate, but right now, you can’t think of anything other than the warmth and pressure of his hand on your knee.

You stare at it for a moment. It doesn’t feel wrong, so you decide to let it stay. A moment later, Tae puts his hand on your other knee. You are acutely aware of the differences in the way their hands feel but how both make you feel wanted and cared for. Cedric rubs his thumb in small circles over your skin, showing you that he knows what he’s doing and it’s on purpose. You look down at your lap, and while both men have their palms and most fingers resting on your skin, their pinky fingers are in a delicate dance together, constantly touching one another. Your breath catches in your chest. You realize that you’d never asked Tae what he thinks about Cedric or the possibility that he might want to be with a man as well or instead.

“Uh...Tae, can you come help me with something in the bedroom really quickly, please?” you blurt out, popping up quickly from where you sit. Both of the men stare at you with shock from the sudden change in your demeanor.

Upon shutting the door behind him, Tae looks up at you with a curious questioning in his eyes.

“Tae, are you happy with our relationship?” you ask hastily.

“What? Yes, of course I am!” He sounds defensive.

“I just want to make sure that this is what you want because if you want something else, I understand. We have discussed that at some point we might want to explore other things. I just don’t want to hold you back or anything.”

“yn, no. You’re not holding me back. Is this about Cedric?” he asks.

“I mean...a little bit.” You twiddle your fingers like a cliche, but you can’t help it.

“Look, I didn’t know how to bring it up without making it seem like I didn’t want you. Cedric and I really click, and lately, the two of you have been vibing more. He and I have discussed it, and we wanted to talk to you too.” He sighs and places his hand, the same hand that had been on your knee, on your shoulder.

“‘It?’ What is ‘it?’”

“It being...us starting a relationship with Cedric. Romantic styles.” His voice shakes slightly as he says it, the pauses between words longer than usual.

“Oh!” you exclaim, unable to contain your surprise. You hadn’t even considered that.

“Please, take your time and think about it, baby.” He kisses you on the forehead and reaches down to grab your hand.

You nod, and you do mean it, even though you don’t have the words for it. You open the door and let him lead the way back to the couch. You sit rigid, all of your muscles feeling engaged because you are trying not to suggest anything with your body language.

The evening ends more awkwardly than it started, but you manage to be less frigid than you had been in the past to Cedric. You think that trying to be cool has made you much less cool than usual, which isn’t much anyway. 

You and Tae don’t talk much as you get ready for bed, silently brushing your teeth while looking at each other in the mirror in the bathroom. You slip into your pajamas then lift the blanket to snuggle up under it. Taehyung lays out his clothes for tomorrow and slides in next to you. He wraps his arms firmly around you, pulling you to his chest. His lips plant on your hair on the side of your head, and he gently rests his chin against your head. The two of you stay like that for what feels like a long time until you start to drift off to sleep.

You take your time thinking about Tae’s proposal of a relationship with Cedric. The three of you do vibe together very well, and you don’t even try to deny that you’re attracted to Cedric anymore. The three of you have a lot of fun together. You know that being in a relationship with two people doesn’t mean that Tae will love you any less or you’ll love him any less. You had always liked the idea of a poly relationship to meet all the needs that may not have been met by one person, even if you were deeply in love with them.

“Okay,” you say one morning while eating a piece of toast, sitting at the bar counter of the kitchen in your pajamas.

“Okay?” Tae asks, not turning from the French press that has his attention.

“Okay, let’s give Cedric a shot.”

You are resolute and trying to be as neutral as possible. You don’t want to sound too enthusiastic and make Tae feel bad. You don’t want to sound too reluctant and make him think that maybe you don’t actually want to do this.

“Really?” He turns toward you, his eyebrows raised as high as you’ve ever seen them.

“Yes, really. Let’s have him round for dinner tonight, so we all can talk about it,” you state, getting up from your seat, planting a kiss on Tae’s lips, then heading back to your room to get dressed.

The conversation with Cedric goes more smoothly than you could have ever prepared for. All three of you laid out your expectations and desires from the relationship. Cedric was the kind of person who would just listen to your problems without trying to solve them, not that you didn’t love Tae for trying, but sometimes you just wanted him to listen. He was also open to experimenting sexually with both of you. He also gave Taehyung a partner to talk to about both wizard and muggle sports, as they were not really your thing. It felt good to say what you wanted and to also set clear boundaries with these two men that you cared deeply for.

After the conversation, Cedric rounded the table and kissed you on the lips. His lips were thinner than Tae’s, but the passion behind them was different too. He then kissed Taehyung, and then you and Tae kissed. It felt natural. The three of you sat there holding hands for a minute or two just looking at each other and smiling. You stood up and pulled Cedric toward you, wrapping your arms around his neck, kissing him as deeply as you’d wanted to that first night that he put his hand on your knee.

His mouth follows yours, tongue dancing with yours as his fingers lace into your hair on the back of your head. Tae settles into the space behind you, his chest against your back. His hands search Cedric’s arms, shoulders, and neck. Cedric’s hand that isn’t in your hair brushes over your shoulder and cradles Tae’s face as it rests on you.

The three of you continue in this configuration, turning so different mouths can explore each other over and over, until Tae pulls away and leads you both by the hand to the bedroom. This is so familiar and so foreign to you. You’ve been with Taehyung intimately in your bed countless times, but it’s the first time that you are going to be with someone else with him.

You stand in the middle of the floor in your room, with your toes wiggling in anticipation like they had at Cedric’s house that day over a month ago. Cedric pulls your dress over your head while he stands behind you. Taehyung kneels down in front of you, kissing your belly then each of your thighs. He pulls down your panties, letting you step out of them before tossing them aside. He kisses the tender skin at your hip bones then runs his finger tip over your slit, barely touching the skin, teasing you.

He stands and kisses Cedric hard while you stand nake watching them. Tae pulls Cedric’s shirt over his head and tosses it with your panties, then he peels off his own, adding it to the growing pile. Soon enough, the two of them are in the underwear, and you are leaning back on the edge of the bed. Cedric situates himself between your legs, putting them up on his shoulders, and pulls your ass right up to the edge of the bed.

HIs tongue laves over your sensitive bud, licking at the arousal that you know has pooled there. He licks you from your perineum to the top of your labia then sucks gently at your clit, creating suction there. The sensation overwhelms you as Tae climbs up onto the bed and positions himself near your head. You can see the outline of his hard bulge against his underwear, and you can’t keep your hands off of it. You stroke it lightly through the fabric until you get frustrated, moaning from the pleasure between your legs, then you pull his cock out from its fabric prison, letting your hand savor the smooth, hot skin of his hard dick.

Cedric pauses and lifts his head from between your legs. You look down at him, and he’s smiling, simply watching your stroke Tae. You gesture for him to come up to you. He climbs up on top of you and kisses your lips gingerly. He tastes like you, and it turns you on even more that that’s the taste on his tongue. Tae leans down and kisses him, moaning and smacking his lips. 

“Baby, you taste so good,” he groans.

Cedric leans a little further over you and wraps his lips around Tae’s cock while your hand is still stroking him. The two of you work in tandem to pleasure Tae, and you use Cedric’s spit to lubricate your hand stroking his cock. You can’t help but feel like Cedric has been left out.

“Lie down on your back,” you say to Cedric, and he looks at you sideways with Tae still between his lips. “Please.”

He obliges and resituates himself so his head is on the pillows. You pull his underwear down, the last remaining item of clothing finally removed. You position your mouth over his cock and let the spit fall from your lips slowly on to it. The three of you watch it, and it feels like it’s happening in slow motion. Once you’ve soaked him completely you use your hand to smear your spit around on it. Then you straddle his hips, positioning yourself directly over him. His cock isn’t circumcised, so you know that he’s so much more sensitive than anyone you’ve been with before. You slowly sink down onto him, letting him fill you up. You pulse slightly, then let your pussy adjust.

While you’re adjusting to Cedric’s cock, Taehyung positions himself, so his cock can slide into Cedric’s mouth.Cedric eagerly takes it back into his mouth, licking and sucking it excitedly as you settle onto his cock. You start to roll your hips and run your fingers down Taehyung’s back that’s toward you. You ride Cedric’s cock until you are shuddering from the sensation of your clit rubbing against him and his cock dragging against your sensitive spots inside. 

You can feel Cedric’s cock start to twitch inside of you, and Taehyung’s thrusts into Cedric’s mouth are growing less rhythmic and more desperate. You continue to bounce up and down on Cedric’s cock, trying to coax and orgasm out of him. He and Taehyung cum at the same time. He spills inside of you, and Tae paints the inside of Cedric’s mouth, some getting on the outside and on his cheek.

Tae giggles softly and wipes the cum off of Cedric’s face. He takes his finger and offers it to you, and you suck it clean, enjoying the taste of Tae’s salty, musty ejaculate. A familiar and comforting taste on your tongue. You dismount Cedric and curl up on the bed in front of him. He wraps his arms around you as Tae settles in behind him, wrapping his arms so he’s holding both of you.

The three of you lie there quietly for a while, cuddling and enjoying the afterglow of your sex, then Cedric speaks.

“I’m so happy to be with you two. This is all I’ve ever wanted or needed.”

You smile and turn to kiss him on his lips. You snuggle back in deeply to his embrace, and you know exactly what he means in that moment. You are looking forward to what the future will hold for the three of you together.

[everybodyscupoftea]

the date

pike jj x reader ft. cody and tyler

part 2: in which you begin to move on

it’s been a secret, but here’s zach :)

let me try and explain the timeline here real quick: okay so this is before the pogues come to visit, after the sick day. the timeline is a little fucked but that’s okay, we can just pretend we do not see inconsistencies :)

“Call him,” Tyler urged, nudging your leg with his foot.

“What if he says no,” you protested, “I can’t take any more rejection from men this year. Not to sound like I need men to validate me, but I’m not sure my ego can handle much more of this.”

Cody laughed, “We’ll kick his ass if he hurts your feelings.”

“I doubt you could, I’ve seen the pictures,” you scoffed.

Tyler’s jaw dropped, “Hey, I can hold my own.”

“Sure you can, scarecrow,” you teased.

He rolled his eyes, “Whatever, look, I know this guy and he’s really nice and respectful and understanding. Plus he plays baseball, I know how you feel about that.”

Raising your eyebrows, you hummed thoughtfully, “You should’ve said that immediately. I’ll call him.”

“Really?” Cody asked, “That’s all it took?”

“That’s all,” you confirmed, “now, help me come up with something to start the conversation.” -

“You can’t wear that,” Cody scoffed, looking disgusted at your outfit.

“What? Why not?”

Cody ticked reasons off on his fingers as he spoke, “First, you already had to cancel on him once because your body just shut down so the expectations and anticipation are even higher. Two, you have to really wow him because he’s only seen you looking like shit, you have to prove you’re better than that usually. And C, look good, feel good.”

You wanted to roll your eyes, but he made some pretty good arguments, “First of all, if he’s seen me only looking bad, the bar is pretty fucking low, dude.”

“Exactly, that’s why it’s so sad that you’re literally tripping over it.”

Looking down at your shorts, you crossed your arms, “Wait, what’s wrong with this outfit though?”

“No shorts,” Tyler yelled from the bathroom.

You scoffed, “Mind your business in there.”

“No, you need help.”

“Trust me, I do not need two men’s help.”

“But you do though,” Cody said, digging through your wardrobe, looking for something else.

“Dude,” you protested as he pulled out an armful’s worth of clothes.

“Options,” he told you, “I’m just trying to help.”

You sighed, “I suppose you’re right. Hit me with it.”

“Skirt,” Tyler yelled from the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Cody asked, walking back to dig through your closet again.

“Dinner and a basketball game.”

“Oh, maybe shorts are the way to go.”

“Thank you,” you said, grabbing some clothes to put back in your closet.

“No,” Tyler interrupted, finally leaving the bathroom, “Still a skirt, but you can dress it down with a t-shirt.”

“But, shorts,” you tried to argue.

“Show off your figure, bitch,” Cody responded, shutting you down.

-

Zach picked you up from the dorms, Cody and Tyler watching you get in the car from a distance. He rolled down the window and waved at them, “See you guys around!”

“See ya, man!” Tyler yelled back.

Cody gave him a scrutinous look, “Be good!”

“No promises,” you mumbled and Zach snorted.

“Gonna be that kind of date, huh?”

Your cheeks heated, “No, I meant like, the basketball game. I get kind of into it.”

Zach pulled out onto the street and glanced over, “Hey, I was kidding, don’t stress.”

“Not stressed,” you pouted.

The restaurant he picked was one you’d surprisingly never been to and when you told him he chuckled, “You strike me as the type to have a regular.”

“I am, but I swore we tried every place near campus before establishing our regulars.”

“Well, I’m honored to show you something new.”

He parked and jogged around to open the door before you could get out. It was, unusual, but you weren’t complaining. Zach walked slightly behind you, hand hovering near your back as if he wasn’t sure whether he could touch you or not.

You paused and he walked into you, hand brushing against you, and cleared his throat, “Fuck, sorry.”

“You can touch me, you know?”

Zach blushed, “Well, I didn’t want to assume.”

“That’s very sweet, but I think we’re past the point of casual touches after you spent an entire day taking care of me. And, technically, we’re dating.”

“Well, we agreed it was the fever talking and we’d actually go on a date before making that decision.”

“I’m a modern woman,” you waved his words away, “caution to the wind.”

Zach laughed and held the restaurant’s door open for you, “Fair enough. Takes a lot of pressure off for tonight.”

“Were you nervous?” you teased.

“Well, yeah. You’re so pretty and funny and smart, and I want to impress you.”

Your jaw dropped and your ears felt hot, “I,” you cleared your throat, “well, thank you. Consider me impressed,”

“Good,” Zach smiled, picking up the menu the hostess had sat in front of him. He flipped through it and nudged your foot with his, “By the way, the meatball subs here fucking slap.”

“Oh yeah?”

“If I remember correctly, you told me once that meatball subs were your go-to for testing out Italian restaurants.”

“I, yeah they are, um, when did I say that?”

“You snapped me a picture of a meatball sub from Subway one night super late when you were drunk and told me about it.”

“Right, and you just…remembered?”

“Well of course, I had to pick a place with a fire meatball sub for you. Good impression, remember?”

“Yeah, I’m starting to get the picture.”

He smiled and nudged your foot with his again, “Ready to order?”

“Guess I’m trying the meatball sub.”

When the waitress came back, Zach let you order first and then ordered his food and a bottle of wine for the table. You raised your eyebrows as she inspected his ID and told the two of you it’d be out shortly.

“I’m 20,” you told him.

“But I’m 21, and I know you drink.”

“Touché.”

“This wine is really good. Admittedly, I don’t know everything, all my knowledge is by proxy, my uncle owns a winery in Napa, but I know some.”

You nodded, fully impressed, “Good enough for me.”

Zach laughed, “Good to know.”

The wine and the sub were excellent, right on par with the company. Zach kept you laughing through the whole meal, the conversation staying alive without things getting awkward.

“Wait wait wait,” he laughed, pausing to take a sip of wine, “you’re telling me that Tyler actually went as Hermione?”

“Full wig and everything!”

“Fuck, wish I could’ve seen pictures of that.”

“Oh, I have some,” you reassured.

Zach dissolved into laughter again, taking your phone from you to scroll through. The smile dropped after a few seconds and he swiped up on a notification, locking your phone. Your heart dropped and you smiled uncertainly as he said, “Ready for dessert?”

“Yeah, I saw lava cake on the menu. Is everything okay?”

“I think so, you just got some passive aggressive texts from a JJ.”

You rolled your eyes, “What did he say?”

“Something about being a bad friend and abandoning them. I think it was supposed to sound like a joke, but that’s not the vibe it really portrayed.”

“Yeah, he’s been a real dick lately.”

Zach’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned forward, “Wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t really want to kill the mood,” you laughed humorlessly.

“You aren’t if I’m asking.”

“Well, if you want the whole truth, I kinda liked him. And then he started dating this girl Brooke, and she’s the fucking worst. She literally hates me for no reason and JJ doesn’t say anything in my defense when she treats me like shit.”

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve a better friend.”

“Not so sure about that, clearly karma has it out for me.”

“We’ve only known each other for a short time, but I think you’re incredible and you don’t deserve to be treated that way by a friend. Is that the guy you were telling me about, the reason you want to take things slow? Because I think I understand now.”

Your eyes filled with tears at his earnest words, “Yeah, it is, and wow, you’re actually the best.”

Zach laughed just as the waitress set the lava cake and two spoons between the two of you, “I try.”

Shortly after finishing, Zach paid and the two of you left the restaurant hand in hand. He opened the car door for you again and smiled, hand on your knee. You gave him a wobbly smile and patted his hand, “Thanks.”

“Anytime, seriously. Ready for some basketball?”

“Always.”

-

When you got back to your dorm JJ, Cody, and Tyler were all sitting on the floor outside your room, half empty bottle of flavored vodka between JJ’s fingers. His eyes were fluttering and you could tell he was gone.

Tyler smiled apologetically, “I’m so sorry. He was threatening to come here alone so we decided to come as buffers.”

You snorted, “Real mature, J. Saw you blowing up my phone while I was at dinner.”

“With who?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I met someone.”

“We’re best friends, of course it’s my business.”

“Are we?”

You didn’t give him time to answer before going inside your dorm and letting the door slam shut between you and the boys. There was a slapping noise and Cody said, “Bro I know you’re not going to remember this tomorrow, but for fuck’s sake.”

JJ made a wounded noise, “What if he’s a dick?”

Going on your tiptoes to look through the peephole, you managed to catch Tyler’s shrug, “Dude, I’m not sure what to tell you other than that he’s a good guy.”

“Is he good enough?” JJ countered, arms crossing sloppily.

“Is Brooke good enough?” Cody asked, not even looking up from where he was kicking at the floor.

“Brooke is great,” JJ slurred defensively.

“Great at being the absolute worst,” Tyler scoffed.

You fought back a laugh and walked away from the door. JJ wasn’t going to ruin your night.

[wefoundloveunderthelight]

Nowhere to Run by  GleefullyCaptainSwan

Read on AO3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8

Or on FF

Tagging: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jonesfandomfanatic @jrob64 @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx

Chapter 8: The Plan

Emma woke as the sunlight reached her face. She snuggled down into her blankets, enjoying the warmth they provided to her. The blankets were plush and soft against her skin, something she did not have the luxury of having the last ten years. Henry and Emma had been afforded a single woolen blanket that they shared on their old mattress in the basement or whatever room he would trap them in for the moment. Many times, in the winter, they had huddled together using her body to keep her son warm.

Looking over she watched with gratitude as Henry was curled into the comforter, Rogers nuzzling against his chest, a smile on the boy’s face.

She heard a noise echoing through the house, the clang of metal in the distance. She sat up, yawning before stretching her feet to the floor and wandering into the bathroom. She found a brush in the bottom drawer, one she recognized as hers, and ran the bristles through her hair. Killian had left two new toothbrushes on the sink for her and Henry.

When she finished getting ready, she slipped quietly out of the room, Rogers following at her heels. She found Killian in the kitchen, hunched over the stove while he stirred a pan of scrambled eggs. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants, and nothing else. Emma stood in the door frame, admiring the man in front of her, she had forgotten what it was like to desire someone.

She had determined that even ten years later, he was still the most gorgeous man she had ever laid eyes on. His body had changed in the years since she had been with him, but he had stayed in excellent shape, his back was firm and taut, even though she could tell he had gained weight since they were together, but it made him even more attractive to her. By the time she realized her gaze was lingering over his firm backside, Rogers betrayed her by drawing his attention toward her.

“Morning, Emma. Hope I didn’t wake you. I thought you and Henry might want some breakfast before we met with David.”

He turned, leaning against the stove, crossing his arms in front of his chest. She mentally reminded herself to keep her eyes on his face, not to trail down his body or spend time wondering if he still went commando when wearing sweatpants.

“Emma?”

She flinched, realizing she had been stuck in her head, staring at him. “Sorry, still sleepy.” She laughed. “Um, breakfast sounds great. I’ll get Henry up.”

She retreated quickly to the bedroom, waking her son to ensure they had time to eat and make it to the station before 8am.

By the time they pulled up to the station, they were ten minutes late, and had missed multiple calls from David who was clearly concerned about Killian making good on his promise to return Emma first thing in the morning.

“Sorry, I’m not used to getting a kid out the door in enough time to get across town.” Killian replied honestly as Robin glared at him as soon as they reached his desk.

“Hello again, Emma.” Robin smiled, looking over at Killian with concern. “Captain has a guest in his office, he wants to see you both. I can watch Master Henry.”

Emma followed Killian nervously through the building toward the Captain’s office. The blinds were closed, and they knocked before entering the room. When Emma stepped inside, she recognized the woman sitting across from David at his desk. She had met her twice in the hospital after more than one brutal attack she had received from Neal.

“Jones, Emma. This is Mary Margaret; she works over at Harbor View Medical Center.”

The woman looked up and stared at Emma. “I remember you.” She said softly.

“I remember you too, Emma. I’m so happy to finally see you again.” The woman stood from her seat.

“Emma, we would like to be able to use your hospital records as evidence.” David declared.

“I didn’t use my real name.” She said with a frown.

“I actually flagged them after trying to report your injuries, I figured it wasn’t your real name and you were always gone before I could alert security, but I hoped that one day I would see you again. Your injuries were especially memorable, and no one should have to continue to live with that.”

Emma glanced at Killian nervously, swallowing before speaking. “Can I…can I talk to you privately?”

Mary Margaret looked at David, and he nodded, “We’ll just be outside. Take your time.”

Killian lightly grazed her shoulder and she turned toward him with a nod, offering him a shy smile before he followed David out the door.

“How are you doing, Emma?” The woman asked taking a seat and offering her a chair beside her.

“I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for me in the past. I know you tried to help, and I wasn’t very cooperative.”

“Emma, you did what you had to do to survive. No one faults you for that.”

“I had to protect my son. Neal never let him come with me to the hospital. He always kept us separate so that I wouldn’t do anything.”

“That must have been terrifying.” She said softly, reaching out to take her hand. “How are you coping with being away from him?”

“I’m…” She sighed, guilt overcoming her as she turned her eyes to the floor. “I feel like I’ve done something wrong. By leaving him. How fucked up is that?”

“Emma, you were with this man for ten years. He conditioned you to be afraid of him, to want to please him. It’s natural to be scared or feel that you’ve disappointed him in some way.”

“How long am I going to be like this?”

“I can’t answer that unfortunately, I can recommend you a good therapist. Dr. Hopper is the best around.”

“Therapists are for weak people.” She grunted.

“Therapy is to help you talk about how you’re feeling and the way those feelings cause you to interact with others. It will help you resolve what happened to you. It doesn’t make you weak. You are a very strong woman to have withstood the violence and emotional abuse you suffered.”

“Will I always be afraid of being close to another person?”

“How do you mean?”

“Killian, he’s my…my husband.” The woman looked confused for a moment before the realization of her words were met with understanding.

“I’m sorry, Captain Nolan didn’t tell me you were married.”

“It was complicated.” She said with a light snort. “But now, every time he touches me, I flinch.”

“It’s going to take time for you to react normally. The important part is for you to know that you are in a safe environment. He’ll need to be patient, take things slow. Try the little things until you feel like you are ready to move to the next thing. Start with something small, like holding his hand, or a hug. It may be easier if you initiate contact with others for a while, until you get used to someone else showing you affection. But there is no right or wrong way to heal, Emma. Neal broke your self-esteem, took away your ability to trust and violated your will to choose, only you can take back what he stole from you.”

She smiled at her, looking down at her hands, feeling comforted by another person.

“I’ll leave Dr. Hopper’s card with David.”

“Thank you for talking to me. I don’t know what to say to Captain Nolan or Killian.”

“They both seem to care a great deal about you, I have a feeling they will let you take all the time you need to come to them.” She paused. “How is Henry handling things?”

“I’m not sure. He doesn’t trust a lot of people. He seems to like Killian, but I know this isn’t easy on him.”

“Dr. Hopper sees kids too; it might be a good idea for both of you to have someone else to talk to.”

“Thank you, I will look into it.”

She was happy to have had the opportunity to speak to the woman. Not that she felt better, it was just nice to know that what she was experiencing was normal behavior. Emma laughed to herself, it wasn’t like anything going on around her was normal.

When they stepped out of the room, David and Killian were huddled in the corner with Robin. A man and woman, she thought were named Belle and Will who had been their back up the night they got Henry out of the house was sitting with her son, who was currently laughing loudly at something the man had said to them.

Neal’s picture was displayed on the wall at the back of the room, her own photo was below it, she cringed when she realized that it pointed toward Officer Perry. She made her way to the men in the corner, taking note of the way that Killian stared at her with concern in his eyes as she approached.

“So, what’s the plan?” She said shyly as she approached.

David turned around, “Ah you’re done, let me see Mary Margaret out, Killian and Robin can fill you in.”

“We’re gonna have you call Neal from a phone in the building, tell him that you got picked up while you were shopping. Just tell him that the officer told you they have Henry. It’s going to be really important for him to believe you are desperate to get him back.”

Emma nodded. “Ok, he’ll believe all that, he’s not exactly smart. But how is that going to get him to you?”

Robin pointed at the map on the wall. “We want you to tell him to pick you up on the docks, here.” He said as he pointed toward the map. “Will he come get you? Or will he expect you to come to him?”

“I’ll tell him I need him, that always gets him to do what I want.”

Killian’s jaw tensed beside her but he nodded his head. “Ok then we take you to the docks. He shows up, we take him down.”

David walked up behind them. “And she needs to wear a wire, we want to get him to talk about the bank job. Get him to say that he killed Officer Perry.”

“No way, too dangerous, he’s not an idiot. He’ll check her for a wire.” Killian argued.

“He’s right, Neal doesn’t trust anyone and if he knows I’ve been with the cops for a whole day without contacting him, he’ll suspect something.” She added.

“That’s the conditions. She wears a wire, or they want her back in lock up.”

“That’s a fucking death sentence.” Killian screamed and she jumped. “There is no way we do this. I’m not sending her out there so he can fucking kill her.”

“We’ll be safe, he won’t find the wire. I get that this is risky, so it’s Emma’s call.” David looked up at her apologetically.

She turned toward Killian, reaching out and taking his hand in hers. “If we don’t get Neal off the streets, he’s a danger to all of us. He won’t stop until he’s killed you, me, and Henry. I have to protect him.”

“Emma…” He choked out, his thumb caressing the top of her knuckles.

“I can do this, and I know you’ll be there to back me up.”

He ran his hand through his hair, an exasperated groan leaving his throat. “Fine, but if things go wrong, I’m putting a bullet in his head.”

“Don’t make me pull you off this, Jones. I need you thinking straight.” David warned.

“He’ll be fine.” Robin added, stepping up to tap him on the shoulder and sending him a warning glance.

“Ok let’s make the call.”

Emma felt her nerves rising as they dialed the phone, Killian listening on another line from his desk.

“Hello?”

“Neal, it’s Emma.”

“Where the fuck have you been, bitch?” He growled into the receiver.

“I got picked up from the grocery store, some dumb cop recognized my face from the robbery footage they’ve been blasting all over the tv.” Her heart was pounding in her chest. “Neal, they took Henry.”

“Who has Henry?”

“The cops, when they arrested me they told me they have him, how did that happen, you said he would be safe at the house.”

“Where is he?”

“They didn’t tell me, they just released me.”

“What do you mean they released you?”

“The video isn’t clear, they don’t have the gun, I told you I dumped it.”

“That’s my good girl.” He cooed and Emma wretched, closing her eyes. When she opened them, she recognized the look of anger shading Killian’s face from the desk on the other side of the room.

“I need you to come get me, I’m heading out of here right away, you told me to never stay near a station, so I’m going to the dock, Pier 50 where all that construction is going on.”

“Ok give me a couple hours. I want to make sure you weren’t followed. If you see any signs of trouble, you call me back ok? We’ll get Henry back. Everything will turn out exactly how it’s supposed to be, you’ll see sweetheart.”

“Ok I’ll see you then.”

“Emma…” She could hear the warning in the throaty growl, she tried to ignore it. “Baby I want to hear you say it.”

She looked up nervously, her face red with anger. Not here, not now. “I’ll say it when I see you.”

“Goddamn Emma, say it.”

She flinched as he raised his voice. “I love you.” She said in a hoarse whisper. Tears sliding down her cheek as the phone left her ear. She could barely hear his voice as she put the phone on the receiver, the words that made her feel dirty, worthless, and terrified.

“I love you too, baby.”

She dropped down into the chair behind her, tears falling slowly into her lap. “Mom, it’s gonna be ok.”

She reached out and pulled Henry into her lap, hugging him for dear life. She needed Neal to pay for everything he had done to them.

“You did good, Emma.” Killian’s voice was soft as he approached her. “Let’s get you ready.”

Henry looked up at her. “You can do this Mom. I believe in you.”

She stood and walked with the men toward the Captain’s office to set her up with a wire. Once the door closed David approached her, holding the wire in his hands.

“Cap, perhaps we should have Belle do this?” He glanced at Emma and then back at David who paused.

“Yeah good idea, I’ll go get her.”

Once they were alone, Killian turned toward her. “Are you alright, love?”

“I will be once this is all over. Thanks for, um…suggesting Belle.”

“Figured that might be a bit more comfortable for you.”

The door opened and Belle walked in, Killian nodded to her, passing the bundle of wires into her hand. “Make sure a pat down won’t find them.” He turned back to Emma, smiled, and left the room.

“So, tell me, this Neal, is he a nervous man, distrustful? Do you think he’ll try and search you?”

“He’ll definitely check my shirt. He’s not an idiot, but he’s not the most brilliant criminal either.”

“Ok so we’ll go with the legs.” Emma nodded and turned around, unbuckling her jeans, and pulling them down her legs. “Ok stand over here.” She pointed in front of her, and Emma closed her eyes, sighed, and then opened them with a new resolve.

“Those are much slimmer than I remember.” She remarked, the mic pack and wires that didn’t resemble the clunky ones they practiced with in the police academy.

“It’s been ten years dear; a lot has changed.” She said apologetically. “Ok, I’m gonna touch your leg. I’m going to try and run this up the inside of your thigh, I’m going to keep the mic pack low on your hip. That way if he searches you, he’s most likely to go for the small of your back.”

“Ok.”

“I met you once before, do you remember that?” Emma looked at the girl, trying to remember her. “It was really quick; you were graduating when I started the academy. You know people talked about you all the time. First female to have the highest score on the shooting range. You beat all the guys in your class.”

Emma laughed, it seemed so long ago that she earned her place among the men in her ranks. She knew she was a good shot, better than anyone else in her class, but proving it had meant more to her than she had realized.

“You were a hero to all us women that came after you. Only female in your class.” Belle continued.

“It wasn’t easy, but I’m sure you know that. Looks like you made your own way, Detective.”

“Damn straight.” She patted her leg. “All done.”

Emma looked down at the wire, traveling up her leg and onto her hip. “Thanks.”

“Just remember, you’re stronger than him.” She patted her on the shoulder and walked out the door, “I’ll get the Captain.”

The ride to the docks made her feel like she was stuck in a wind tunnel, everything was spinning by her at 60 mph, but she was frozen in place. The car stopped moving, and both Killian and Robin turned to face her.

“Ok Emma, you’re going to walk to the end of the pier, then wait. I’ll be stationed behind the row of shipping containers on the right, Robin will be on the left. Belle and Will are flanking the entrance. As soon as Neal is on the way, we’ll know it. Just get him to come in, get him to say whatever you can and then we’ll get you out of there.”

“Ok.”

They opened the door and Emma nervously stepped onto the pier. Killian leaned against the car, watching her. Emma nervously approached him, turning around to lean against the door. “Don’t get jumpy and shoot over my shoulder.” She teased.

“Hey that only happened once.”

“What if he doesn’t show up? What if he does show up but he finds the wire? What if…”

“Emma, nothing ever goes the way it’s planned. If something goes wrong, I’ll figure it out.”

Emma leaned against his shoulder, sliding her hand down, her fingers tentatively reaching out and slipping into his. “I know you will, you’ve got my back.”

[curious-menace]

Arkham Scarecrow SFW Alphabet

im really enjoying writing arkham scarecrow. maybe ill do something similar to my random riddler headcanons posts with some scarecrows

long post under the cut

 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Uhhh, the short answer is no. Jonathan is almost wholly incapable of what most people would term “affection”. His idea of loving is not using you for his experiments, only giving you small doses to build up your immunity( not that that will stop him from enjoying watching you panic). Jonathan leans heavily on gifts and words of affirmation as his language of love ( assuming he can even feel that emotion). He calls you  “my dear”  and “my darling” or once “my pumpkin” if he had too much to drink. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jonathan would make a good friend if he could ever be wrangled into admitting it. He’s a complete bastard, but he's a loyal bastard. He always goes above and beyond for his friends but it's always in a “aw shit. My favorite idiot needs help AGAIN?!” begrudging , kind of way. You probably met in university/college and if you've stuck with him this long he’d be hard to get rid of.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He never asks for cuddles and is pretty touch adversed as a rule. Sometimes though, He simply plonks himself in your space and expects you to know what he wants. Usually it's gentle backrubs/strokes like you would with a child. Sometimes he just wants your warmth to sooth his aching body. He’s heavier than he was in Arkham asylum but still very underweight so you shouldn't have too much trouble moving him into a comfortable position.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Absolutely not. I'm not convinced this man owns more than his books and the burlap sack on his back ,never mind a home. He has plans to take the cloudburst on tour, to go cross country and then across the world spreading fear. That would be a little difficult if he had gotham mortgage sending him nasty emails every other day about missed payments. While he can cook and clean, I doubt you'd want to eat anything he made. Ignoring his filthy hands, he's probably laced it with fear toxin or a lethal amount of hot sauce.

His homemade cleaning chemicals are pretty stellar mind you. They can get blood, piss or tears out of anything. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Scarecrow really is a ride or die kinda guy. If you've wormed your way into his life then he’s going to do literally everything and anything to keep you in it. He’s not above making you dependent on him for safety just to keep you around longer. He’s not a total monster to the people he cares about mind you. If you really didn't want to be with him, he’d let you go….eventually.

I'm not sure he fully understands the concept of a “breakup”on his end. He gets that you don't see eachother anymore but I don't think he quite grasps that it's not because one party is dead. There's a 99% chance he’ll use you for his fear toxin experiments as a way of kicking you to the kerb. If you wake up in a ditch with a text that says “we’re through” you should consider yourself lucky. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I canon arkham scarecrow as having been engaged at one point in his life, possibly around the time of origins. I can imagine his partner gave him a “me or the fear toxin” ultimatum which has led to the man you know now. Despite how he looks, how he speaks and acts, he’s still open to the idea of a partner. He’s a loyal man who can't stand backstabbers, he’d appreciate someone like a spouse/husband/wife to have his back. If he decided he wanted to get married he’d propose almost immediately. It might be more of a business or thesis type proposal with lots of talking rather than flowers and wine and you're likely to be married as soon as you said yes. 

He has a tiny pumpkin ring saved for the occasion. Something like this (image credit https://www.banggood.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s gentle, in a creepy way unsurprisingly. He was a little stronger than the average man before the incident with croc, all that cardio and fighting with batman made him a skinny legend amongst the rogues for how well he could fight. Now? He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Mostly he's calm and soft, especially when you wouldn't expect him to be.  He can still be an emotionally manipulative person but chances are good you're smart enough to see right through him. Calling him on his bs is actually a good way to endear yourself to him. He likes a challenge and he loves it when people think they can outsmart him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hmm. yes and no. Scarecrow is severely touch adversed, but...It's not like with Riddler; Edward is on the autism spectrum and genuinely gets overstimulated by a lot of physical contact, he doesn't usually enjoy it unless under specific circumstances. Scarecrow WANTS to be hugged and held on occasion, but the mere thought of someone in his personal bubble sends his hackles up. 

When he first woke up after the asylum, he clung to you like a lampent. Scarecrow gives and recieves hugs like someone who needs them to breath.Your warmth soothes the aching pain when even drugs couldn't . By the time of Arkham Knight he’s grown cold and distant. His hugs are few and far between and unusually half hearted even when he initiates them. Maybe he’s just preoccupied with batman.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I doubt he’d ever say the words ``i love you” but he’s absolutely going to quote love poetry at you, recite lines from his favorite literature  “shall i compare you to a summer's day” and all that. That’s far better than a simple “i love you” right?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Jonathan is sort of one note when it comes to expressing frustration. Coffee machine not working? Melt it down into fear toxin vials. Line at the grocery store? Gas everyone out of his way. He doesnt get mad, he gets even. He’s not a super jealous person, he’s probably the most secure in himself out of all the rogues in Gotham bar Selina and ivy. But when something does hit his jealousy bone just right? LORD HE IS TERRIBLE. 

Unless you were the instigator, you are 100% safe but the poor soul who made the mistake of flirting with you will never see the light of day again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He can't really kiss to be honest. He lacks a lot of lip tissue and tongue dexterity for deep smooching. He’s quite happy to give you little pecks on the cheek but anywhere else will get sloppy and he's not a fan of that. Jonathan has actually started to bump you with his head like a cat in lieu of kisses. Rare as it is, when he wants kisses he has a tendency to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or rest his head on your shoulder. He likes to be kissed on the cheek , forehead and top of his head. Most other places are covered in scars and lack the sensitivity to enjoy it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He likes to scare kids. It's not as malicious as it is with adults, he just likes to yell boo at them, smiling as they scream and giggle and run away. It's probably the most innocent he’ll act around other people. He still doesnt like them per say but he’ll tolerate them in small doses. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Scarecrow , like most rogues, is not a morning person. He doesn't sleep well and he is hella grumpy when he first wakes up. Expect to watch him shuffle around his hideout like a zombie, still wearing a quilt and his dressing gown as he complains about everything from the weather to the loud creaking of the floorboards. You should present him with food and coffee and then retreat to a safe distance until he’s fully awake, otherwise he’s liable to turn on his grumpy old man routine on you. If he's feeling particularly sore or needy, he’ll ask you to help change his bandages and dressings .

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It really depends on what he feels like in the moment. Sometimes he’ll leave you at home while he goes out to cause general mischief, sometimes he’ll bring you along as a look out. Sometimes it's a low-key night at the hideout reading and sometimes it's a caffeine fueled frenzie of experimentation and lab work with you as his trusty lab assistant.  He doesn't sleep well at night, the aches keep him up. If he were ever to actually go to bed he might find that you make a great pillow.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as he resents people having the upperhand with information, it's hard not for people to see his past. His scars are so easily visible, inside and out. He doesn't talk about his past unless prompted. But if you do he’ll quite happily answer all your questions; he’s not afraid of discussing it. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jonathan is a very patient man, not just when it comes to revenge.It takes quite a lot to make him fly off the handle and he cools off again quickly. That's not to say he doesn't hold a grudge like he’s being paid for it, only that it's more of a simmering anger rather than a boiling one.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers most things about you, he has an excellent memory. But that being said he never lets on that he knows these things. He likes to hear you talk about the things that interest you, even if you've told him about it before. Watching you wax lyrical about your chosen subject makes him feel close to you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I don't know if it's a favorite or even a positive memory but when he first woke up from surgery after croc you were lying beside him. He was understandably confused, maybe even afraid, but seeing you there brought him great comfort. He didn't know what was happening because of all the meds, but as long as you were with him he was confident things would work out for him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He means well, you should always keep that in mind  before you snap at him. He brought you to the arkham knights HQ to protect you from his plans, he’s given you micro doses of fear toxin to build your resistance and by the time of arkham knight you can hardly move for the amount of guards he has following you around. He’s overbearing bordering on controlling but I think it's because he simply can't admit the thought of losing you scares him, even just a little. You aren't a rogue, you don't know Batman like they do. He just needs to keep you safe from batman, from the police and from the ugly world outside.

Given how weak he’s been viewed practically all his life, I believe he’d resent the accusation he needed protecting. deep in his mind he knows no one man is an island. He appreciates little helps even if he won't say it. He doesn't need protection per say but If nothing else, after being injected with his new toxin, he's going to need someone who’s corpus mentis in his corner for court and medical proceedings.  

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

His idea of a perfect date is you two working on your respective projects in comfortable silence, maybe a trip to the museum if he feels like the exercise. Obviously that suits some people down to the ground, myself included, but he gets that it's not for everyone. He’s probably ok with you planning the activities provided you warn him beforehand. 

Given everything he’s been planning for batman, things like important dates and even everyday tasks have a tendency to get lost in the fray. He's not doing it on purpose, He’s glad to celebrate these things with you if you remind him, He's just got his priorities in a funny order.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He shuffles his feet when he walks and is one of those people who always has conversations in doorways. You can never be sure he isn't aware of these habits and is doing them on purpose. He also used to smoke quite heavily but has since given it up due to his throat and lung issues.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It's sort of a mixed bag with him. On the one hand he knows he’s ugly, that's the point. You're MEANT to be scared looking at him, he’s leaning into it. But on the other hand his “look” is a carefully maintained visage; if it slips it might lose the intended effect. He might not be as scary to look at or worse, people might look at him in pity. It's not ordinary vanity or narcissism but yes, he is concerned with maintaining the way he looks 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The concept of feeling whole is somewhat lost on him; He’s clearly missing a few screws even in his most lucid moments. That said even in the depths of madness brought on by his toxin, he still notices your absence. Still incredibly distressed In his cell in blackgate, he can often be heard crying out to you for comfort  but is lacking the wherewithal to understand why you're not there. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Given that he has pretty extensive facial injuries, eating is pretty difficult for him. He used to really enjoy bagels and cubanos from gothams many deli’s. His favorite was a kosher deli in The Cauldron, before Joker ruined it. They’ve since rebuilt and while he can't eat many solids anymore , he still enjoys their matzo soup and smoothies. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Like most of the rogues, he absolutely can't stand bullies.He also can't stand physically aggressive people; if you're going to even TRY and intimidate him maybe you could use your words like someone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together, rare as that is in gotham. Back when he was a psychiatrist he hated people who were chronically late. Not his patients, most of the time it wasn't their fault  due to executive dysfunction or traffic, but people who kept HIM back and made HIM late were the bane of his existence. 

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Crane is a back sleeper who snores because of his damaged septum.He knows he makes a noise akin to a flip flop in a lawn mower but there is literally nothing he can do about it besides sleep on his stomach. He squirms around a lot in his sleep so even if he starts on his stomach, he’ll be on his back snoring like a dead horse in no time. The only thing that could keep him frontwise is if he were to sleep on you and have you hold him in place. 

[liliesoftherain]

That Obsessed fic was so cute! Could I ask for 20 from the list with Izuku? owo

A/N: Okay so this was so CUTE, and I turned it into something not cute- Don’t be mad, the fluff is coming. But I decided to split this into two parts because it turned out longer than I thought. So fear not, I should get the second part out soon, I need to touch it up but have this for now(: I’m going on a short vacation and I don’t know if I’ll be able to post but I for sure as heck will try! Thank you again for asking this, I hope once you read the whole thing it was something you wanted

Title: Bittersweet Findings, in that Order.

Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x Reader

20. “Wait a minute… Are you jealous?”

Izuku Midoriya!: Part 1

Izuku wasn’t sure why he stayed, why he was here at all in the first place. He was studying for an upcoming test in the common room when Denki appeared out of nowhere, not giving him time to think as he was dragged by the blonde to the fourth floor. He was confused, trying to figure out just what was going on when a groan of annoyance stopped his questioning. 

“Why the hell did you drag Deku here, are you stupid?” Bakugou seethed as soon as he laid eyes on the boy in question.

“Well, we all know he likes (l/n)-”

“W-what!?” Izuku blushed, cutting off Denki who just winked.

“Well it’s true, you make it pretty obvious.”

Ignoring the stuttering and red face, Sero threw his arm around Izuku’s shoulder.

“You better appreciate the opportunity.”

“No one but you two dumbasses appreciate this!” Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“You’re coming with us though?” Denki pointed out, a cheeky smirk on his face.

“To watch raccoon eyes kick your asses when she figures out what the hell you’re doing.”

“What are we doing?” Izuku questioned, his nerves building as all eyes were on him.

“Oh poor innocent Midoriya.” Hanta snickered, bringing Izuku down with the arm that was still around him to give his head a noogie.

“We are going to do what men were made to do.” Kaminari finished, laughing as Sero finally the flustered kid go.

“Men don’t spy on girls like this..” Kirishima crossed his arms with a pointed stare.

“We aren’t ‘spying’ no dude, we’re just trying to, yanno, get to know them better! Girls like to share secretes during this kind of thing you know?” 

Izuku was still confused, but he knew that whatever spying plan they had was no good as he was now being pulled towards the girls side of the floor. He watched as Kirishima sighed and how Bakugou grunted in pure agitation, yet followed nonetheless. 

They made it right outside Ashido’s door, and while he’s been on the side before years before when they showcased their rooms, it made him anxious to know he wasn’t where he was supposed to be at this time of night. The laughter coming from behind the door was indication enough that there was more than just one girl, but besides Ashido and you, he had no clue who else could be in there. 

Denki and Hanta were quick to crouch right by the door, being as quiet as they could be while they leaned in close to hear everything. Bakugou, looking as if he would rather be anywhere else, leaned against the wall to the right of the door. Kirishima was squatting down on the wall opposite from the door, looking uneasy but listening anyways. Izuku was unsure of what he should do, so he stood like Bakugou on the left side of the door. His hands were fidgeting as he leaned his shoulder along the wall instead of his back, ear close to the door.

You girls were none the wiser, laughing as Jiro made Kaminari’s idiot face perfectly. 

“YOU DO IT SO WELL!” Mina cackled, arms crossed over her stomach from laughing so hard, almost falling off her bed in the process.

“I would think so, based on how much she likes him.” Momo teased from her spot on the floor, the beanbag she sat upon squeaked as she moved to poke Kyoka’s cheek as she did.

“Ugh don’t remind me of.” She swatted Momo’s hand away, folding her arms over her chest with a blush.

“C’mon you guys would be super cute together, I think it’s adorable.” You smiled, swinging your legs in the air as you laid on your stomach next to Mina.

“Adorable, is that what you wanna call it? He’s an idiot, but I guess I am too for liking him.” 

“You guys can be idiots together! You guys compliment each other so well.” Mina pointed out.

“I agree, you guys never have a dull moment together, and I think that can be one important aspect in a relationship. Even in comfortable silence, you are not bored.”

“OH! You know what Momo, that makes me think; what are must-haves in a significant other huh? Like, ideal types?”

“Ideal types?”

“Yeah like Kyoka’s ideal type would be considered a dumb blonde.” You teased, looking at said girl as she just pointed at you with finger guns.

“What can I say? Shockingly dumb blonde’s are hot, sorry.”

“If we are sharing types, or ideals in the sense, I suppose I can confess that I find-”

“Todoroki hot, we know!” You laughed while cutting Momo off, her face burning at the mention.

“ ‘Todoroki-kun, your form was excellent during practice today, your body-stance-looked great.’ “ Jiro spoke in a high pitched voice, badly imitating your friends voice.

“ ‘Todoroki-kun! I was hoping we could study together, you’re so handsome-I mean, smart.’ “ You followed suit, a sassy look on your face.

“ ‘TODOROKI-KUN YOU LOOK LIKE A SNACK-”

“Mina!” Momo threw a pillow, hitting her square in the face.

“We’re teasing, we’re sorry if we embarrassed you.” You apologized, but the amused smile on your face was anything but sorry.

She huffed at the laughter that rang out through the room, but smiled shyly nonetheless.

“I was actually going to say tattoos..”

“Woah you’re a tat girl?” Ashido’s eyes opened wide in surprise.

“Yes I know, it’s weird isn’t it? But they’re so, so captivating! The detail, the aggressiveness of it, it’s so dangerous.”

“Mm into bad boys huh? Todoroki doesn’t really fit that category.”

“He may be soft overall but he has his moments Mina, think about it,” Jiro said thoughtfully, “he may not be picking fights and having screaming matches like another bad boy we know, but he has the underlying traits.”

“Such as?”

“He’s passionate, and mysterious.”

“Exactly! He’s unpredictable,” You added, “he’s got that ‘I don’t care’ attitude, and that screams rebel bad boy.”

“Are we talking about the same guy here? The sweetie who literally apologized to a plant the other day because he walked into it? That Todoroki? Him, a bad boy?” Mina snorted in amusement. 

“Yes.” You three replied in sync.

“If you can’t have a good bad-boy what’s the point? Some qualities in a bad boy are alright I suppose, but if it was just 100% rotten attitude than why bother?” You questioned.

“Oh?”

“What qualities do you find attractive then (y/n)?”

“I mean, I guess one of the bigger ones is someone who is assertive.”

“Assertive?” Jiro hummed, sitting up from her position on the ground to look at you. 

“Yeah, I think it’s really appealing when someone knows what they want and won’t let anything get in their way.  Someone who has a goal and doesn’t back down no matter what. Strong and willing to overcome anything, do whatever it takes.” You bite your lip, thinking of your freckled crush. He knows what kind of hero he wanted to be, and despite everything, he persevered. 

“A man who takes what he pleases.”

“Dominate.”

“Exactly.” You sighed in longing, while Izuku may have not been the most dominant person you have ever met, you have seen the way he has grown since your first year into someone amazing. He was determined to reach his goal, and dominate in the sense of battle. When people needed to be helped he stepped up to the plate.

“Like Bakugou-kun?”

“Exac-wait, what?”

You were pulled from your thoughts at the mention of your friend, staring at Momo in shock as she suggested it.

“Yea I gotta agree, that does sound a whole lot like Bakugou, he’s always talking about how he’s going to be the best.” Kyoka chimed in.

“Yea but, Bakugou doesn’t really have that good boy aura, just the bad.”

“That’s not true, he won’t admit it but he’s a giant softy! Isn’t that right (y/n), you know first hand.” Mina remarked.

“I do?” 

“Uh duh, him and I are good friends sure, but you two are closer than that.”

“I mean-”

You were cut off by the girls throwing their observations into the air, ignoring your stutters and blushing cheeks at the thought.

“She grins every time she gets to be his partner during training, it’s cute to see her so excited.”

“Yes indeed, she is always complimenting his skills.”

“Bakugou practically never yells at her, he seems really mellow,”

“She’s always rooting for him too!”

“Mina you do the same thing! He literally treats me just like you.” You whined, having enough. 

You didn’t like Bakugou, you guys were just friends. Somehow able to form a bond back in your first year, and that’s how it’s been ever since. Sure, you two were close, but it was honestly nothing more than a brother/sister relationship. You found him attractive yea, and he did have his sweeter moments, but overall you didn’t feel anything romantic towards him.

“He’s softer for you girl. Awh look, she’s blushing!” Mina squealed as she pointed out your cheeks, which in turn grew darker, “You like Bakugou don’t you?”

The room went silent waiting for your answer. Your words came out jumbled, tongue feeling tied at the stares and devious grins.

“J-just because Bakugou is confident doesn’t mean I like him for it!”

“So you’re saying you like him for other things?”

“Minaaaaa.” You groaned, hiding your face in your hands. 

Laughs filled the room until they died out, your embarrassment coming off in waves.

“Okay okay look.. I’ll tell you, I like-”

A hand quickly went over your mouth and you let out a startled gasp, which was muffled by the palm. 

Kyoka put a finger to hips lips, signaling at you to be quiet, her extended lobe pointing to the door. Everyone quickly understood what she was saying, and strained to hear anything. Mina, deciding to take matters into her own hands, grinned evil while slapping the mattress for a sound effect, then cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted at the door.

“Kya, (y/n)-chan if you liked me all you had to do was say it, not attack me so lewdly! We aren’t wearing clothes, your bare skin is making me blush!~”

Your mouth dropped open, what the hell was she doing? All you did was sit up from your original position, and you didn’t do anything! Plus, everyone here was fully clothed, what was she doing giving whoever was out there some twisted idea?

A thump and some hushed whispers were heard on the outside and Jiro quickly went to the door and flung it open, a glare on her face as two idiots crashed into the room.

Denki and Hanta froze as they looked up and saw nothing of what they thought was going on, you and Mina were both sitting on the bed, fully clothed and not touching.  

“What the hell do you idiots think you’re doing? I expected this from these two, but you guys too?”

You looked up to try to see who else was there.

Kirishima looked guilty, immediately apologizing before bending down to pick up the two who had still been on the floor the entire time.You looked to Kirishima’s right and you felt your breath catch in your throat as green stared straight back at you. 

Izuku couldn’t help the hurt that crept up into his heart, squeezing it painfully as if trying to make it burst. It really did feel like his heart was broken, your eyes stared straight into his soul and chilled him to the very core. He felt too vulnerable under your gaze, yet he couldn’t pull away from it. He couldn’t pull away and now he was sure you knew how he felt, how terrible it was to hear the girls gush about your crush.

He was fine when him and the other guys first started to listen in, nervous and a bit bored by hearing talk of Todoroki, but fine. He had stayed and listened to more, and that was his downfall, he just had to stay didn’t he. How he wished he could have just left before it got worse, before you started describing someone who wasn’t him in the slightest. You were too good for him anyways, who was he to think he had a chance with someone like you? His lungs ached, reminding him that he needed to breathe. But he couldn’t, his mind wasn’t working, blank on everything except for you and him-

Your eyes moved away from his all on your own, and he saw how your body tensed as your saw him. Izuku ripped his eyes away from your form to look at Katsuki as well, and saw that he too was staring straight at you. If his heart wasn’t broken before, it was shattered now at the sight of your intense gazes on one another.

 The staring was interrupted by the slam of the door, the lock following. That was all it took for Izuku’s body to jump start, muscles contracting as if he were thrown into an icy river.

His quick intake of breath must have been louder than he thought, since it drew the attention of the boys as he backed up to leave. The looks of pity thrown his way were becoming too much, knowing everyone here knew why he was this upset, and couldn’t help but look at the one person he didn’t want to see. 

The look in Katsuki’s eyes caught him by surprise, he was so used to being on the receiving end of heated glares. Izuku couldn’t remember a time where he had looked at him with anything but, and now here he was, doing just that. Was it a look of pity as well? No, there’s no way Katsuki Bakugou would at him in pity, he didn’t care enough to do so. Was it regret? Ha, that wasn’t right either, there was a higher chance of Bakugou begging than him being regretful. 

Izuku couldn’t place what emotion was in the blonde’s eyes, but didn’t want to stay to decipher it. It was different and he didn’t like it, it just wasn’t right. It wasn’t the way Katsuki was supposed to look at him-just quit looking at him dammit!

Izuku turned and walked off, hurrying back to the common room to collect his forgotten items before rushing to his room. He made it without any more problems, but as soon as the door closed that’s where they started. A mix of sensations passed through his body all at once. The feeling of adrenaline kicking in causing his breathing to quicken, yet it was also as if molasses filled the room, causing his limbs to drag as he walked towards his bed. He fell onto it without another thought, the few moments outside Ashido’s door weighing down on him heavier than he thought was possible. His mind was now racing with images, the opposite of earlier, as every moment he shared with you flashed through his head. Every hangout, every spar, every smile, every look, every touch-

You just seemed so interested, or he had thought you were. Was it real, or did he really make everything up? Izuku truly questioned if he had made it all up in his head, if his hopes were forcing him to see what he wanted and not the truth. He hated to think about it, but you and Katsuki were really close, you were always with him and his friend group. More so than with Izuku and his own friends. Could he blame you? Of course not, you both had amazing quirks. You were both strong and fearless, complementing each other very well. You would be a power couple no doubt, too perfect..

It was just as you said, you wanted someone assertive. Someone who was strong and confident, and Izuku knew he was none of those things. He knew he was weak, timid, uncertain. 

Everything you didn’t want. What you wanted wasn’t him, you wanted Katsuki.

Izuku didn’t even realize he was crying until a shuddering breath entered through his lips, a small whimper taking its place as he tried to exhale. His body was jerking in quieted sobs, tears trailing down his face as he looked up at the ceiling. The cries were getting louder in his ears, and he tried to muffle the noise as best as he could by placing the back of his hand over his mouth, biting on the scarred flesh.

He was pathetic.

He was certain you didn’t want someone like him.

This crybaby.

[wintaejk]

Jungkook’s FIC REC | OS 2

I had too many links on the other post. Here is the second part of my Jungkook’s fic rec but with others themes.

Again, all those fictions belong to the amazing authors who wrote them, not me. I want to thank them once more. 

(f) = fluff

(a) = angst

(m) = mature

magical au

— Trick or Treat: Howling for You (F) (M) — by @fortunexkookie​

The way your Little Red Riding Hood costume lured over a fuckboy in a half-assed werewolf costume was a little cliche, but god damn was he beautiful. He promised he had plenty of big things to show you, and you took him up on the offer, not realizing that you might’ve bitten off more than you could chew.

werewolf au | established relationship | +14k

— rottenfolk (M) — by @junqkook​

a look was as hazardous as chemicals, a kiss as perilous as poison; his eyes and lips felt akin to a cure, but he was purely venom.

faerie au | royalty au | +13k

Commentary - If there’s only one one-shot I could recommend you to read of all tumblr, it would probably be this one. For me, it is rare to acheive such a level of mastery in fantasy fictions. Writing is already complicated, but when you have to place the readers in an unknown universe, it is even harder.                         However, the real brilliance of this story is the end. Because the end is supposed to satiate the reader in a way or another, it is supposed to offer what all the reader craved: a sort of closure. But here we all are, waiting for a sequel, because this story will make you want a next episode. And that is the brilliance, because you will surely never forget a story with that kind of power.                         So those are some of the reasons why this fiction is for me a mix of art, smartness and excellence ; and also why you would be missing something huge by not reading it.

— overdrive (M) — by @junqkook​

you thought meeting jungkook was just a coincidence, but the universe didn’t deal in coincidences.

vampire au | soulmate au | enemies to lovers | +13k

— Crescent Bound - Jungkook (F) (M) — by @parkhabits​

A pact bound by the moon. A secret kept only amongst themselves. Each of them experiencing their own cycles of heat.

werewolf au | friends to lovers | +12k

— Room 109 (M) — by @lavishedinjimin​

Having Jungkook as your apartment buddy was a lot to get used to. But with one early day, your heat comes up much stronger than usual, and you were desperate for an alpha’s touch.

werewolf au | roommate au | alpha!jungkook | +6k

— after dark (M) — by @seokoloqy​

Jungkook has served the royal family for generations, seen them live and die countless times. When it comes to you, he can’t watch you wither away too, but your lust for one another makes it harder and harder to stay apart.

vampire au | royalty au | knight!jungkook | +8k

— Life’s Blood (F) (A) (M) — by @littlenoona​

You produce blood cells at an increased rate when blood is lost, effectively, you cannot bleed out. This ability has served you well so far, even gaining you a rare friend, and you’ve made it your source of income, but it also has its downsides, one of which you’ve managed to avoid successfully, until now.

vampire au | +13k

— you come in waves (A) (M) — by @angelguk​

if jeongguk had a choice, he would destroy the sun. it’s not like he needed it for warmth due to his werewolf abilities making him a scorching radiator. it would also help his heart. because you look delectable in that stupid bikini.

werewolf au | friends to lovers au | 4k

— tell me your secrets (i’m all ears) (F) — by @jinpire​

You’re not afraid of Jeon Jeongguk. Even if he’s probably some kind of bear or giant cat shifter, and just a hint of his irritation had your instincts vibrating beneath your skin like a live wire. Your thumb brushed over the plastic dome of mini-Levi’s head, taking comfort in the cartoon scowl and dead eyes, the tiny grey sticks of his 3DM gear. Small could be pretty fucking powerful too.

shifter au | college au | bunny!kook | +6k

drabbles: nooks and naps - foxie moxie (don’t pull my tail) - look before you leap  - fluffles and kerfuffles

— Pomegranate Seeds (M) — by @taetaebaepsae​

Jungkook thinks he’s found the perfect new roommate, but little doesn’t he know you’re just aching to corrupt him.

demon au | roommate au | virgin!jungkook | +4k

other themes

— Every Kind of Way (F) (M) — by @taehyungforreal​

{Three little vignettes, three completely different experiences, same perfectly wonderful boyfriend JK.}

strangers to lovers  | established relationship  | +14k

Commentary - I remember when this fiction was posted. I read the teaser a few days before, and I was waiting for it. I remember the exact date of the release of this story, and let me tell you it never happens to me. But this is how much I liked this story. This masterpiece.                         This fiction is 95% made of smut. This is a warning if you don’t like that. However, what I like about Ashley’s works is that smut is not only smut (okay, sometimes it’s just pure filth but whatever). It’s not the first time I’ve read a piece of work of her and that I’ve been so thankful of reading her. Because the stories she writes are realistic. Sex is not always perfect. Sex is not always like in porn. Sex can be embarrassing. And this is why I love what Ashley writes, because she always have that realistic point of view on life. And sometimes it’s also nice to not turn everything into porn.                          What is very likeable - I said likeable? I meant loveable, sorry - about that story is also the three different stages of the relation of Jk and reader. This is also something I like about her writings. Life evolves, relationships evolve, and so does sex. So in this story, you will experience three different Jungkook. And it’s three reasons why you should read this fiction, three reasons why you will probably love it.                          One thing is sure, this chef-d’oeuvre will leave you wondering if your eyes have been burnt by the smuttiness or blessed by all the talent of this writer.

— tattooed two (ft. kth) (F) (M) — by @httpjeon​

your boyfriend’s best friend joins you for a night you’ll never forget.

tattoo artist au | established relationship  | poly au  | +8k

— Inkling (A) (M) — by @gguksgalaxy​

Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?

tattoo artist au  | +17k

— Freak-quency (M) — by @taehyungforreal​

His eyes sparkle and he fights back a smile when he asks you why. “Is it because I didn’t give you something else to swallow like I said I would,” he questions, halfway through a much less subtle adjustment of his growing erection. Yoongi was right, he wants to be in trouble.

rockstar au  | established relationship  | +8k

— Boots (M) —

3000+ words of Ashley kinking on Jungkook’s boot. That’s it.

rockstar au  | established relationship  | part of Freak-quency  | +3k

— Heartbreaker with a Heart of Gold (A) (M) — by @filmflowersbangtan​

It was around this time almost three years ago when Jungkook moved to LA after his band got signed to a famous record label. He told you that he’d keep in contact with you. That he’d visit as much as he could. That he loved you. But about a month after leaving, he stopped texting and calling as much. And then a mere week after the band’s first EP dropped, Burning Rabbit was a sensation.

rocksatr au | ex lovers  | +3k

— Brother’s best friend (M) — by @lavishedinjimin​

In which Y/n owns a smut blog dedicated to her crush and brother’s best friend, jungkook. it was all fun and games until he finds out about it and acts it out with you.

brother’s best friend!jungkook  | +5k

— Sugarplum Elegy (F) (A) (M) — by @bymoonchild​

You know no bounds nor depth with Jungkook. While your fuck buddy loves sleeping in your bed and doing laundry for you with his favourite fabric softener, you are in love with a mysterious honeyed, velvety voice on Soundcloud. All’s fine, until you find out that the voice that metaphors your heart to a sweet sugarplum melody actually belongs to the boy who has been taking up a special spot in your bed and in your heart, strumming at your heartstrings all this while.

friends with benefits  | college au  | idiots to lovers | +17k

— The Kids Aren’t Alright (F) (A) (M) — by @sketchguk​

Sneaking around with Jeongguk during your Christian retreat is complicated when you’re both dedicated to your jobs as co-youth group counselors at your father’s ministry.

friends with benefits  | pastor’s kid!reader  | +10k

— Gym (F) (M) — by @hobiwonder​

Jungkook has a crush on you and has been watching you work out at his gym. One day you finally confront his obvious crush.

business woman!reader  | fratboy!jungkook  | older reader | +8k

— Gravity Check (M) — by @gimmesumsuga​

The one where Jungkook is your oh-so-handsome climbing instructor.

climbing instructors!jungkook  | strangers to lovers  | 14k

— The Monogamy Monologues (F) (M) — by @kpopfanfictrash​

The year? Some point after college. The occasion? Namjoon is getting married and the Rich Man’s Crochet Club has convened once again. Somewhere between the drinks and the laughter, everyone has the same realization: Jungkook has never been in a serious relationship. In the name of all that is holy (Overwatch and booze), the club’s mission is revived. Now though, their goal is much more perilous. Now, they aim to find Jeon Jungkook a girlfriend. (Part of The Rich Man’s Crochet Club series)

fuckboy!jungkook  | wedding planner!reader  | strangers to lovers  | +42k

— The Virgin Volume (F) (A) (M) —

This fic exists in the RMCC universe. It takes place before RMCC and is the story of how Jungkook lost his virginity. To quote Seokjin/Namjoon: “What Jungkook doesn’t know won’t hurt him and – let’s be honest – his story is hilarious. One pump,” Seokjin laughs, sounding like a hyena. “One pump and he’s done.” // Ducking his head, Namjoon tries not to smile. “It was a rookie mistake,” he protests, defending their friend. “Jungkook was overexcited and couldn’t control himself. He got better.”

college au  | friends to lovers  | prequel to TMM  | +6k

— everlasting (A — by @kimvvantae​

being able to love the same person forever is a blessing given from the heavens. to you, however, eternity has become a curse.

reincarnation au  | 18k

— Performances (M) — by @littlenoona​

The same handsome guy has been appearing at your performances and you become more and more interested in who he is - now you’re dancing only for him, despite a hall full of people.

strangers to lovers  | professional dancer!reader  | +6k

— Matching Hearts (F) (A) — by @gukwluv​

a drunk call to your ex boyfriend leads to a night of fun adventures that make you wonder why you even split in the first place.

exes au | +3k

— locker room talk (M) — by @minnpd​

You end up having a rather heated talk with Jeon Jungkook in the locker room when he announces he has been chosen for the audition you both participated to.

dancer au | enemies to lovers | fuckboy!jungkook | +5k

— not quite lovers (M) — by @junqkook​

hiring jeon jungkook as your personal assistant happens to have more than one perk.

workplace au | friends with benefits | ceo!reader | +15k

— By Its Cover (M) — by @gimmesumsuga​

The one where Jungkook makes a very bad first impression.

workplace au | enemies to lovers | 21k

— Mind in the Gutter (F) (M) — by @kpopfanfictrash​

Starting over is never fun. Especially not when you decide to take the phrase fully to heart; new job, new city, new coworkers and new relationships. When you are dragged to a happy hour by your new co-worker, Taehyung, you end up sitting beside a (very) cute, (very) shy IT worker named Jungkook. Several drinks later, he mentions he is in a professional bowling league with his friends and you rather enthusiastically invite yourself along. As time passes and you begin to grow closer, you still find it impossible to read Jungkook. Working in the same company and seeing each other so often, it is only so long before one of you snaps. But who?

workplace au | bowling au | strangers to friends to lovers | +18k

[thecurseoflife]

CHAPTER 17 - My King, my Queen.

For the whole three weeks their plan took to be fully made, Camalia didn't see any of the Saporian's faces. Not even a glimpse of what they might look like.

So she had to fall back on her imagination.

She imagined Andrew as repulsive and disgusting as possible, with hideous features. Which would perfectly match his personnality, that she definitely didn't like.

Clementine was, in her head, kind of an old woman, but not that old. A bit cranky, with that constant frown, always bent over. She thought about some kind of a shawl over her shoulder, and a belt where she put all of her her magic thingies.

Maisie was very classy, with an uptight ouftit, maybe going a bit over the top with a cape, but nothing more. He would have a sword, or even just a dagger hanging on his side. She thought about a moustache that curls in the hand, that he was used to bully with his fingers whenever he was stressed or deep in thought.

Kai would be that big, cuddly man, looking like a teddy bear. Maybe with a very soft beard, very clean and nicely styled. The girl couldn't even imagine him with a weapon, but she had to remind herself that they were technically criminals. An axe would work with the features she had, but it looked so weird in his hands. She finally handed up with a stick. Stick is good.

Juniper would be with long hair, a large, bright grin, and maybe some freckles on her cheeks. It would underline her nice and goofy personality. She would be thin and constantly bruised, with funky hair bouncing everywhere. A long and nice sword would be the perfect weapon for her, and she was sure the saporian would wield it with grace and precision.

When she shared her thoughts to Varian, he simply snorted at Andrew's description and shrugged off the rest. To be fair, he hadn't really put names on the faces he saw, so he was just a little bit less lost. However, he was mildly happy to see how well she was getting along with the crew.

In one hand, it would ease communication a lot, and make her a part of the team, but on the other hand, he felt like she was more accepted than him... And also, they were supposed to be allies, not making buddy-buddy with the criminals. Their sad origin story didn't really move him that much. He didn't really cared, but he was glad it convinced Camalia, whatever her reasons were.

During the making of the Plan, they were confronted to the biggest problem : Captain. He was smart, strong, very smart, and an excellent leader. To overthrow the royalties, they had to go through him. A lot of solutions were offered, but all of them were destroyed by Camalia's inside knowledge of the man. They were hitting a dead end when the castle was suddenly full of running guards and panicked maids. Camalia got up from the place near the well she was sitting at, watching with surprise all of those people running around, in and out of the prison. She spotted Stan and Pete running around and gestured them to come closer. They hesitated, the girl now in prison was a criminal, then decided that between a very confusing order and the girl they've seen grow over the years, they chose the girl.

-What's going on ? Asked Camalia

A split second of doubt before Pete answered.

-Cap' is gone.

Disbelief painted itself across the girl's face, while behind her, Varian had a smile. Even though he didn't really want to convey his feelings to the guards.

-What ? What do you mean "gone" ? Is he ok ?

-Oh, yeah, don't mind Pete. Captain was fine the last time we saw him. He just... ran away.

-Captain ran away ?

-Yes. To find Cassandra.

He used to talk about Cassandra. During those little times they shared, before the curse became too strong. She was his beloved daughter, his treasure. He loved her with all his heart, and what was incredulity faded into understanding.

As Pete and Stan went back to their crazy run, she let go of the bars and went back to the well, sitting close to Varian, who couldn't hide his excitement.

-Did you hear that, guys ?

Once again, Andrew's disgustingly sweet voice rose.

-Yes, we did. It's great news. Now that Cap's gone, this plan will go easily.

After that, they learned by listening some guards that Stan and Pete had been designated to be captains while waiting for the actual Captain. There was supposed to be only one, but... well... Stan and Pete.

At first, Camalia was thrilled for her friends. Then she darken, remembering that they would be on opposite sides. Well, at least, they won't be harmed that bad... right ? Just... erasing their memories, and that's it ! It's okay. As the weeks passed by, Camalia's mindset changed, and she wasn't sure she liked it. She found more and more reasons... no, excuses to do what she was doing. They won't hurt anyone, it's better this way... She lied, and lied. Over, and over. But what else was she supposed to do ? She understood too well the Saporian's feeling and situation, and she couldn't leave Varian. Even if she wanted to, that is. After all, they were stuck in the same cell. She blocked out the little voice screaming she was wrong. She had to do this. She needed to do this.

It was the middle of the night, but everyone in jail was wide awake. Varian was silently watching the moon, waiting for it to disappear behind the tower. Camalia was stretching, breathing deeply, guitar in hand. Under them, the Saporian's were tensed, ready to jump out.

They had one shot at this And they weren't going to mess it up.

Minutes passed by and everything was quiet. Slowly, the shadows took over the light that disappeared in the window, only leaving the gentle flicker of the torchs in the corridor. Varian turned to Camalia and nodded.

She breathed in and played. The door, and part of the wall, exploded. Under them, and at the same time, the Saporians had unlocked their door and were now going up the stairs as fast as they could. A scream was heard above them, and a lot of steps eagerly running toward them. With a simple note, Camalia locked the door, and after a brief hesitation, placed several rocks in front of it. They needed to go through that door, but for now, it would prevent the others from getting to them. She turned back to the stairs just in time to see the last Saporian appearing.

I can't describe to you what the young music mage felt, upon seeing Juniper and Kai for the very first time. However, I can tell you that she froze, and nearly dropped her guitar. I can tell you that she walked over slowly, like in a dream, unable to detach her eyes from Juniper's beautiful, gorgeous dark skin. She couldn't hear the pressing voices nor could she feel the hands trying to get her to focus. Juniper didn't move, kind of confused, but feeling like the girl needed whatever was going on. I can tell you that Camalia approached her hand, brushed Juniper's arm and pulled away, like she had been burned. She hesitated, then touched it again. Juniper raised her arm, and Camalia could see her palm. She was shocked, and honestly shaken. She raised her arm next to the woman's. She was lighter, but... They were...

-You- You're like me.

Her voice was strangled and shaking, and her eyes were still glued to both of their arms next to eachothers. Juniper looked at Camalia. She looked at her upset face, at the tears building up and she understood. She looked at Camalia, she really looked at her, looked at her soul, at her story, like it was a book. Juniper was a tough woman, and always took pride in that. She didn't show weakness, she was strong, she never softened her words over what she was really thinking. So no, they weren't the same, not at all. But right now, that's now what the kid meant.

Without hesitation, she pulled Camalia in for a hug, and whispered in her ears.

-Yes, we are.

It took every bone in Camalia's body to not start crying her 15 years built up feelings right then and there. But they had to get moving, so she just hugged back and then took some deep breath to calm down and regain some kind of composure. Most of the people in the room, except Kai and Juniper, had no idea what just happened. All they knew is that they were wasting time.

Camalia grabbed her guitar and walked over the blocked door. They could hear guards banging on it, trying to get past the huge pile of rock the mage built. She stood as close of it as she could, then ended up backing up a bit.

-I am Camalia, a music mage, and I'm about to blow up this door. Unless you want to blow up with it, you better back up !

They heard the guards hurrily scatter behind the door, and within a beat, the door exploded. The Saporians and their allies rushed into the opening, knocking out any guards in their way. They ran up the stairs, to arrive in a corridor filled with guards, led by Stan and Pete. Their faces paled when they saw Camalia with the criminals, and once again, doubt ached in the music mage's heart.

They quickly composed themselves and ordered the attack. Without a second thought, the Saporians launched into battle. Varian, Camalia and Clementine stayed put, Camalia and Varian protecting the mage. The Saporians forged a path through the guards, and once they were on the other side of the corridor, they formed a circle around Andrew that placed a rune on the wood. In the Coronans' point of view, the criminals were cornered, separated and easy to take down. They were completely took off guard when the bigger group suddenly broke defenses and layed as flat as they could on the wall.

Across the corridor, Varian and Camalia did the same while Clementine pulled out another rune that she slapped on her staff before slamming it on the ground. The two runes seemed to connect and suddenly everything between those two paper were in a giant storm, making the guards fly away, and eventually knocked them down. When a dozen minutes later it calmed down, everything was quiet and the Coronans were out.

The Saporian team took the runes and continued their progress toward the throne room.

It took them some time and a few tricks, but they finally entered the room, where for some reason the royalties hadn't been taken to safety. Once the giant door closed behind them, Camalia definitely locked it and all the other smaller exits.

While the music mage was making sure it was all closed, pushing the doors one by one, the group approached the king and queen.

-You do not belong here, criminals.

Andrew let out a soft laugh.

-We've belonged here for quite a while, Frederick ! Rooting in your jail. I've grown attached to this place. But... I would like to see a little more than just, bars and walls, you know ?

He paused dramatically, acting as if he was thinking, then snapped his fingers and pointed at the royals.

-I know ! What about the entire kingdom ?

Camalia got back to the group, confirming they were trapped. Juniper gave her a thumbs up, making the girl smile proudly. Then again, doubt was there. This was wrong. She was doing the wrong thing. She was a Coronan after all, not... not a Saporian ?

-You won't get away with this, Saporians.

Varian stepped forward, and the queen had a movement backward. Shock, fear and a dot of anger passed on her face. Far from disliking it, the alchemist smiled.

-Well, they aren't alone, are they ? You see, I've been thinking of a way to start over, since I screwed up so bad you couldn't even give me the help you promised.

-We never-

-FREDERICK DID !

Varian was screaming, his face red, rage boiling in him. He gave an accusatory stare to the king.

-He DID. He promised to Rapunzel before she leave, and then he didn't do anything. He forgot about me as soon as I disappeared from his sight.

Camalia's head shot up at his words. Her breathing increased and she felt her stomach drop. They couldn't do that, Varian was just saying that because he was upset. They were the king and queen ! They had to take care of their citizens, all of them ! It's true no one ever came to help him but... they probably had a reasonable answer to that. But they stayed silent.

Unaware of the girl's state, the Saporians were all staring at their victims. Clementine slowly took the wand of oblivium out of her bag. She walked forward, letting the boy slips behind her with the rest of the team. She pointed the wand to the royals. Out of despair, Queen Ariana spoke.

-We don't know any of you ! What happened centuries ago is not our fault ! Please, stop this madness.

Andrew was about to clarify how they didn't do much to restore what their ancestors had done, and that if they did stop this madness, then what ? They were just going to be put back to jail. No thanks. He opened his mouth, exasperation and hate growing in his chest when someone stepped forward and whispered. In the silence, everyone heard.

-You... don't know any of us ?

He turned to see Camalia, and the expression he saw kept his mouth shut. She was holding her guitare close to her chest, her two hands clunched on the handle. She wasn't going to play, that's for sure. She stepped out of the group, not really seeing anyone, similar to her earlier state of bewilderment when she saw Maisie and Kai, but... It was sadder. Darker. Worst.

-That's a lie. You... you know Varian ! And you know Andrew, and... And you know me.

-No. You're just another saporian.

Camalia stumbled a bit backward, as if the words had punched her. She didn't stop smiling. She had just changed, it's been 10 years !

-Of course you do ! It was a long time ago but I was the 4 years old girl you had to put in jail ! You gave me an apple. You had to put a child behind bars, you... you can't forget that.

Her voice was shaking at the end of the sentence. No light of understanding in their eyes. It was cold, sick, madening. Their stares weren't the stares of a good king and queen. It was the stare of people corrupted by power, unable to differenciate their needs with the kingdom's. It was the look of those who take and close their eyes on the consequencies. It was the look of people that thought she was different, she was smaller, she was less. It was the look of people that thought she didn't matter. That look that make you want to puke and beat them up at the same time.

The kind of look that makes you explode.

Camalia grabbed the wand, snatching it from Clementine's hand, and pointed it at them.

-I've spent 10 years of my life in inimaginable pain, living, no... surviving under your feet. And you don't even care.

There was such disgust in her voice, as much as there was arrogance in the royals' eyes.

She cast the spell,  a few pink sparkles escaped, and the whole room turned white.

When the brightness disappeared, and everyone opened their eyes, it was to the sight of the king and queen, laying inconscious beside their thrones. Smiles creeped up the Saporians face, and the rattling of the wand hitting the ground stopped it mid-course. They turned to Camalia. The girl was horrified, her hands on her mouth, looking at the bodies as if she murdered them.

She turned her back on them and dashed to the big entrance, that she bursted open and ran through. They all turned to Varian, expecting him to run after her but he was busy checking on the bodies. Juniper frowned, not liking at all how the boy was treating his friend. She went after Camalia instead of him.

Andrew watched the whole scene with a smirk.

-Well well well, the little music mage won't be that much of a burden after all...

Camalia ran out. She ran through the corridors, meeting nothing but unconscious corpses. She tripped, fell, got back up and ran. She didn't know where she was going, tears flodding on her face, leaving a trail on the carpet behind her.

She ran, went down a staircase then another. Her mind was fuzzy, her legs were moving by themselves. Suddenly she was back in jail. Back in her cell. Her very own cell. The cell that felt like it was safe.

The cell that felt like home.

She crumbled on the ground, gasping and sobbing loudly. Her voice was echoing on the wall, doing nothing but making her feel like she was more alone than ever.

Then steps echoed back, as a response for her cry. The music mage turned, expecting Varian, but it was Juniper. She crawled back on the wall, not wanting to talk to her.

She felt the Saporian sit beside her, still in silence. It was quiet. An ideal silence that was only broke by the girl's sniffles. Camalia kept expecting that the woman would start talking, but she didn't. She just... sat there, looking at the ceiling, as calm as she could be. So the music mage spoke.

-I...I didn't mean to...

Her voice was trembling and full of cracks. She flinched at the sound she made, but continued.

-That's not... that's not what I wanted.

Juniper sighed and patted the Coronan's shoulder.

-Sometime, in life, we do things we'd rather not do. It just happens. And then you have to live with it.

-But I don't want to live with it !

Frustration exploded as she spoke.

-I don't want to live with the fact that I... I hurt people ! I don't want to hurt people, I hate it ! And I just did, because, what...? They couldn't remember me ! That's stupid !

Another silence. Camalia was panting, a new stream of tears running down her face.

-Well. Will the fact that you didn't want to change the fact that you did ?

-No ?

-Then what do you want to do ? Juniper shrugged. You don't really have a choice. What is done is done. Your future choices, however, are up to you.

The woman touched gently Camalia's forehead.

-Don't let your past, no matter how recent it is, define who you are, princess.

Juniper got back up, her eyes drifting to a place unknown to Camalia. She whispered, seemingly more to herself than for the girl.

-Trust me, the best you can do is move on as soon as you can.

She turned back to the music mage, still on the ground, taken aback by what just happened. The Saporian reached out for her, smiling as if nothing happened.

-Come on, princess ! We have to go help the others clean the castle. 'M sure the kid is done with the royalties by now.

The Coronan stood back up as well, and together, hand in hand, they left the prison.

FIRST / Previous / Next

WHAT’S THAT ?

[ohwereusingourmadeupnames]

This Too Shall Last 

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: Mature (M) Notes: This is based off of @dumb-bitch-starker‘s post that you can find here! I saw it and had to try my hand at it. I’ve got some personal experience with marriage young, so it was a fun one!  Warnings: NSFW stuff - lots of fluff, be ready!  Summary: 

Peter Parker is from a small town in rural Virginia. After winning the National Spelling Bee, he's given the opportunity to go to an advanced private school. Midtown is where he meets Tony Stark, a brown haired boy with an affinity of beating him to the punch. They grow up together and find that what they were looking for wasn't all that far away. This is the story of how these two move from friends to boyfriends to husbands.

Or, the one where Peter Parker is a genius and has an epic friendship turned romance with Tony Stark.

Read it on AO3 here

For Peter, being smart was his foot in the door to a world that for the longest time, he could only imagine. In the town he lived in with is Aunt, there was one school that catered to all of the grades, K-12. There were two stop lights and a singular gas station nestled in the heart of town. Aside from a handful of transplants, most of the town’s population consisted of long lines of families and those that were establishing them. May still had her mail delivered to her by the same man from her later childhood.

All and all – getting out of that place was the only option and luckily – Peter was blessed with the means to do it.

After winning the National Spelling Bee at the young age of 6, Peter got several scholarship offers for some of the private schools around the Virginia area. It would have been nice to actually get away from his little town and go to one of the more prestigious ones – but May needed him around and could only truly afford to see him go 45 minutes away instead of the several hours some of the other schools offered.

Midtown Private catered to the rich of the Virginia Beach area – Peter understood that immediately. Even as a young kid, he realized that his old backpack and battered shoes were something completely different compared to the people around him. It didn’t take a genius (even though he was,) to catch onto the fact that everyone else had drivers drop them off – he watched them file out of their pretty cars from the bus stop every morning. There wasn’t much to be done, though – the opportunity was there, and he planned to take it.

Despite all of the differences between him and the rest of the student population, Peter excelled. After a few days in his second-grade class, it was obvious that the people around him were also of another caliber in the classroom. In his old school, he spent most of his days completely bored. Since the first day at Midtown, Peter felt challenged – his brain finally stretched the way it needed to be. His classmates were able and more than willing to participate in the classroom. A brown-haired boy with quick hands beat him to the punch a lot of the time – but he didn’t mind, there was something to be said about someone just as interested in the information.

At the end of his first week, Peter found out who the brown-haired boy was. His eyes were still wide from the initial shock of walking into a lab that he could fit his entire house into. There were so many different tools and instruments he’d never seen before – things that he couldn’t wait to get his hands on. It looked like a scene out of some of his favorite science fiction movies that played late at night. He sat down at the closest cluster of chairs and looked around with marvel.

The chair at the desk next to him moving on the floor brought him out of his excitement induced trance – he cracked a smile when the brown-haired boy sat down. “You’re the new kid, right?” he asked – the question rattled off without an ounce of hesitation. There weren’t many kids his age that behaved that way; his difficulty making friends stemmed from a lot of things and that was one of them. Tilting his head, Peter took him in for a moment.

“Yeah, I’m Peter,” he finally replied, his body shifting slightly in the seat to see the other kid a little more clearly.

They met eyes for the first time then, the brown of the other’s eyes reminding him the color of milk chocolate melting on the stove. For some reason, that made him feel a little calmer – the hue reminding him so much of fondue night with May.

The kid was smiling at him, his hands flipping open the folder he pulled out of his bag. “Hi. My mom makes me introduce myself as Anthony – but that name is stupid, so just call me Tony.” While he spoke, he slipped a worksheet in front of Peter.

“Do you like science like you like math?” Tony asked him, his eyes looking at the sheet briefly, then straying back in Peter’s direction. It felt weird, having someone understand his likes without evening knowing him – Tony pinpointed him just by observing. He wondered, not for the last time in his life, just what else Tony effortlessly observed about him.

Glancing down at the paper, his eyes lit up when he recognized the microscope on it. Just last Christmas, he got a small lab set that came with beakers and a microscope – he spent hours taking it apart and putting it back together for many weeks after that. The reading level of what he was looking at surpassed even what a class like this would provide for them – so he was immediately excited.

“I love science. I’m going to go to space one day,” Peter muttered, his eyes still looking over the paper in front of him. He wondered where Tony got it – the board at the front of the room said they were looking at the different types of rocks and there wasn’t an accessible microscope in sight. “This is a light microscope, right? What are you looking at with it?” He finally pulled himself away from the difficult information, his brain on fire.

He couldn’t tell if Tony was on the verge of excitement or blowing up at him, the look on his face a little unreadable. “You want to go to space? I want to build rockets. I’ve been trying to read through a book about Apollo 13 – but that words are kind of hard.” He shrugged then, his hand reaching over to take the sheet back from Peter’s desk.

“I don’t know what I’m going to look at yet – my dad said I needed to learn more about it before I could touch his expensive equipment.” Tony made the infamous air quotes and rolled his eyes – the look on his face making Peter laugh.

“My aunt says stuff like that, too. She bought me a starter lab kit last year for Christmas – and I’m terrified to break it. I may never get anything cool ever again, if I do.” He crinkled his nose, the thought making his brain hurt a little. “I’ve taken the microscope in it apart and put it back together a bunch of times – I can help you, if you want,” Peter added in after a second, his eagerness in the suggestion apparent.

Tony took a second to answer back – his cheeks were turned up in a smile, but he stayed silent, regardless. “Okay,” he said simply, a soft look on his face. “Sit with me at lunch – I want you to tell me more about this lab kit.”

That day was forever engrained in Peter’s head – he later came to find out that Tony, who was Tony Stark, son of Howard Stark, the frontrunner in plane, boat, and submarine technology and construction – was the smartest and most sought after friend in the entire school. People did not talk to him for weeks after they sat together that first day at lunch. It was laughable that something as silly as that was the thing that made him an outsider.

For years, Peter ran in the same circle as Tony in a lot of ways. From that fateful day in science on, Tony sought Peter out as a lab partner. Even being in a school where everything was advanced, both boys were more than capable of bigger things. Tony invited Peter to his dad’s lab every now and again – despite how much May hated having to drop him off at the fancy gate whenever he went.

After proving his worth and commitment to thorough research and a safe approach, Tony got access to a lot of cool things; a few of these things he shared with Peter. Between third and sixth-grade, Peter and Tony built a different (and progressively more advanced) robot each year for the science fair. Being friendly with someone like Tony was like being shown a different world; both the boy’s personality and background contributed to that, too. He learned something new about the boy every instance they spent any time together.

Middle brought the ability to do extracurricular activities – an opportunity in which Peter took complete advantage of. Enjoying the robot building process so much, Tony convinced him to join the Robotics team. He also found himself recruited to the track and field team after a startlingly fast mile during physical fitness week. Both activities were so much more than he ever thought imaginable for himself – so he went above and beyond to be amazing at them.

Running came naturally to him, he quickly came to find out. All of his middle school years were spent going to conference, regional, and national meets. The year before entering into high school, Peter broke the 1500-meter record and won a middle school national championship. Walking onto a new campus the next year, Peter found himself embraced by the teammates he had previously and the new ones he gained – not for the first time, he felt surprised by the odd dynamic of the people he luckily found himself surrounded by.

The opportunity to get ahead in college came around his junior year. He took all of the AP science classes and passed with ease, so there wasn’t much left in his high school to take – a select few that were of similar academic standing were cleared to take dual enrollment classes that would count as college credit. There were tons of science he was going to need in college, the ability to knock out a few of them was too hard to pass up.

He barely made it to the early college campus before his first class started late one September – the bus was running behind again and had been all week. Wiping the sweat from his brow, Peter took a seat towards the back of the class – the person next to him none other than Tony Stark. “I thought I’d see you here,” Tony mumbled towards him as he settled in, the now very, very, very handsome boy’s cheeks curling up into a grin. “Did you have to run to get here?

Looking around for a second, Peter noticed there wasn’t much happening – the front of the class empty, no professor in sight. “From the bus stop, yes. The earlier buses always run a little late,” he explained, his chest finally relaxing, the tightness ceasing now that he wasn’t running at full speed, anymore. It felt good to sit down after that.

“That’s no bueno, Pete – I need my lab partner fresh and on his toes. You can ride with me,” Tony stated, his voice definitive, the tone just barely shy of being bossy. “We’re both going to the same place – I don’t mind.” He finished his words with a smile, the look enough to make him laugh a little.

There wasn’t any reason not to accept the offer – the thought of not having to take the bus four times every day sounded pretty dang good. “Okay – if you really don’t mind.” Peter reached across and placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder, his fingers tightening. “Thanks, Tony,” he murmured, his eyes alight.

Tony tilted his head a little, brown eyes watching Peter closely for a second before he nodded – his eyebrows arching. “I really don’t mind. You’re welcome, Pete.” As he spoke, the door opened and the professor walked in, everyone in the class straightening up – the authority of the person at the front of the class still respected at their age.

For the rest of the day, Peter didn’t think too much about Tony or his offer, there were too many interesting things being thrown his way. It wasn’t until they finished their Biochemistry lab that Peter even remembered the offer. Tony caught up to him out in the hallway, his glasses slipping down his nose a little when he stopped in front of Peter. “You don’t have practice until later, right? Want to study for a bit? I’ll take you back when we’re finished. That lab report could use a little work before we turn it in tomorrow,” Tony spoke with such confidence, the quirk in his lips natural looking, not forced like it might’ve been on Peter himself.

The glance down at his wrist was unnecessary, without looking at his watch, he knew it was pushing 2. He wouldn’t need to be back to the high school until 4:30 and with a ride, he didn’t have to worry about catching the bus. “That sounds okay to me – I think I finally figured out how to do the last problem set,” Peter replied, his thumbs slipping under the straps of his backpack. “I think I saw some good reference books when I was in the library yesterday. Let’s head that way.”

That afternoon started a chain reaction of studying together every day after class, the two of them nose deep in books until Peter’s alarm went off. The first couple of times it happened, the dirty looks were numerous – then they got smart about it. Since they were in the early college program, classes ended at the same time every day – so, they rented out a study room and spent the two hours in there, instead. The whiteboards were good for everything they were trying to accomplish, anyway.

One afternoon about halfway through the semester, Peter walked out of his last period lecture hall completely done in. Practice the day before kicked his butt and they were running low on food in the house. He snuck in a granola bar earlier – and his metabolism demolished it before he could even think about being at least somewhat satisfied. School breakfast that morning ran out a earlier than usual, so he was feeling it.

When Tony stepped up to his side a couple of minutes later, Peter looked at him blankly. “I don’t think I’ve got it in me to study today, Tony – I’m exhausted. And starving. Mostly starving, honestly,” Peter babbled, his right hand settling on his stomach – he hoped if he got there fast enough, the growl wouldn’t sound between them.

Peter rolled his eyes when they both heard the gurgle – a spot of red pressing into both of his cheeks almost instantly. He pressed against his stomach a little more firmly then, his thoughts willing the damn thing to shut the hell up. Chancing a glance up, Peter was surprised to see empathy in Tony’s eyes. Despite knowing him relatively well, there was no real way of anticipating how the boy would react – Tony worked on a scale of differing levels of sarcasm. He figured it would take the rest of his life to truly understand the rules to Tony’s game – but it felt good to see the other at least respond positively to his insignificant troubles.

“We’re so caught up on everything, Pete – I’m sure the library can do without us for the day. Do you want to go grab some food? There’s this place, Chester’s, they make the best burgers.” Tony spoke while he fidgeted with his hands, his body much like his mind – always moving, never quite satisfied.

At the mention of food, Peter’s stomach growled again, his mouth watering, too. There were a few dollars in his pocket, the idea of using it to afford food sounded like an excellent one. He nodded his head excitedly, eyes bulging a little. “Yes, that would be amazing. I’d eat your shoe if you seasoned it right. A burger sounds delicious,” Peter agreed, his feet already antsy to start moving towards the door and closer to the food.

It took a little while to get used to driving around in Tony’s fancy car. The contrast to May’s broken-down Chevy made his stomach churn a bit – but on the other hand, he got a little excited about it, too. The black Audi drove like a dream and had an engine that could easily become something too fast for its own good. The inner console was completely touchscreen and the family AI, FRIDAY, could be reached with the controls. One day he expected to walk out to a car that would drive itself.

Settling into the passenger seat, Peter felt better than he did all day and tried not to think too hard about that. In the past couple of months, Peter’s feelings about Tony went from neutral to completely over the hill for him. It wasn’t hard to feel that way about the other, though – Peter knew that from being in school with him so long.

Girls and boys alike would trip over their feet to get his attention. Yet, no one managed to catch it. Tony kept to himself for as long as Peter could remember – no matter how much people wanted him, he didn’t budge. Now that he was starting to feel the same way about the other boy, his stomach felt a little funny – like a weird mixture between giving a speech and watching Batman on TV.

There wasn’t any hope for his silly feelings to be returned, Peter knew that. He couldn’t claim to be a genius without understanding the reality of the situation in front of him. Even still, Peter was unable to keep a lid on it and found himself smiling over at Tony more in the last three weeks than in their entire existence together. Not for the first time, Peter wondered if Tony knew – his friend was too smart not to.

The drive was pretty easy – there wasn’t much traffic at that time of the day, so they were skating down the highway in Tony’s beautiful car in no time. He fiddled with the screen for a while before The Used started to play – the throwback making Peter laugh outright.

“I never pegged you for a 2000’s emo fan,” Peter said through the chuckle, his brain already supplying the lyrics to the song, regardless of his own taunt. Lots of things happened in the early days of Peter’s life – he found a weird kinship with the early 00’s songwriters; their grief and pain were tangible, and he liked that.

Peter watched Tony drum on the steering wheel with one of his hands, the other loosening and clenching with the beat. It was easy to tell that Tony was not a stranger to this type of music – the chorus of Bird and the Worm started and they both broke out singing it, their voices surprisingly meshing together pretty well. “I’m full of surprises, Peter Parker. I also happen to like old rock, too. What do you have to say about that?” Sarcasm dripped from the words, each one settling in the pit of Peter’s stomach – each one making that little flame of want grow the slightest bit bigger.

Catching himself smiling, Peter turned his face towards the window, the cityscape of Virginia Beach flying by them. “I think that’s okay by me. I kind of like surprises. Makes life a little more interesting. I don’t like tomatoes – I’m sure that comes as a great surprise to you,” Peter retorted, his own joke pulling a chuckle from his lips.

Tony shook his head, eyes breaking from the road to glance in Peter’s direction. “Something tells me there’s a lot more to you than just not liking tomatoes. For instance – you can run a 1500-meter race in under 4 minutes. Now that, my friend, is very surprising. I probably couldn’t even make it around the track once in 4 minutes.” Tony joined him in laughter then, the self-depreciative statement nowhere near the truth – Peter could see the obvious signs of that in the way his bicep bulged when he turned the wheel.

“It’s always a surprise to me, too. The last lap, I’m always just running on pure instinct, adrenaline, and dopamine. I didn’t know you knew that, though. We’ve never really talked about it before,” Peter realized, his thoughts manifesting in the words slipping from his mouth. Over the years, they spent so much time together and never broached the layers beneath the surface. Peter felt compelled to change that, even if it was for his own sick pleasure of knowing more about Tony, of having little pieces of him that not a lot of people get access to.

“I like statistics. Me and a couple of the guys from robotics got together to watch last year – it was cool to see the variance in all of our time guesses. You’re talented, Pete. That’s pretty hard to miss.” Tony shrugged then, his hands returning to their incessant drumming on the steering wheel.

Peter was glad for Tony’s shift in attention – the pink color on his cheeks already embarrassing without getting caught out by the boy he wanted to impress. Despite the roaring redness in his face, Peter wrapped himself in the knowledge that Tony noticed him and let the hum of his feelings crank up just a little bit louder.

That first burger stop led to a change in their routine – instead of hitting up the library, they camped out at a table in the corner of Chester’s dining room and studied. At least, it started out as studying. The topics progressively moved from Biochemistry to track and field – then even further past that into a much more personal territory. Peter learned that Tony’s parents weren’t ever around and when they were, he was avoided at all costs. In turn, Peter told Tony about his parents and uncle Ben – about the travesty of the start of his life and the small town he couldn’t wait to get away from.

He figured out pretty quickly how good it felt to simply talk to someone, especially a someone that seemed to understand more than anyone else Peter could remember encountering. Tony listened so intently, like Peter’s words were ones he needed to absorb and digest. Peter felt heard, the feeling so novel that he almost didn’t understand it – that burning sensation of actually being acknowledged. The similar look in Tony’s eyes when Peter gave him the same attention clued him in, though – the boy across from him seemed just as eager to have a pillar to lean on.

And interestingly enough, he chose Peter for the position.

A couple of days before finals week, Tony and Peter were in their normal booth at Chester’s – their shoulders pressed together to look at the textbook between them. The ringing of Peter’s phone shattered the peace of their study sanctuary – he let out a soft sigh at the break in concentration. Answering it swiftly, Peter was surprised to hear the Stanford Track & Field team coach on the other side of the line. After listening intently, Peter dropped the phone back to the table – his chest alight from the news he just received.

“That was Mike Eskind from Stanford – they want to bring me out to campus for a visit when next semester starts.” Peter looked up to catch the tail end of Tony’s huge smile – the look making his guts churn with that all too familiar heat. Shaking his head of the thought, he beamed back – their eyes locking.

“Holy shit, Pete!” Tony exclaimed, his voice the loudest pitch Peter heard him use all day. The boy jumped out of his chair – their gazes still connected. Peter followed suit without much hesitation, his entire body thrummed with excitement and pent up energy. Tony threw his arms around his hips and pulled him close – the throb of the other’s joy enough to make Peter suck in a breath, his own arms wrapping around Tony’s to join in on the embrace.

It felt right – being wrapped up in Tony’s arms. They were solid and warm, the presence of them on Peter’s hip grounding him, keeping him in the moment – the one where he got some of the greatest news of his life. He felt Tony’s head turn a little bit, his breath now gusting against the length of his neck. “Congrats,” Tony mumbled into the skin there.

Pulling back, Peter felt his grin widen, their arms not leaving each other. In the years to come, he wouldn’t be able to say who leaned in first – but all of the sudden, they were kissing. Tony’s lips were warm like the rest of him, the fullness of them pressing elegantly against Peter’s.

The initial kiss was soft, the chasteness of it a little like taking the first sip of a drink to test the flavor. Peter knew in that instant that nothing else would be as good as this – the smooth taste of Dr. Pepper, french fries, and a thing that he could only describe as Tony. It was intoxicating and enough to realize just how fucked he really was.

They inhabited the same space for another couple of moments, then Tony pulled away – one of his hands moving from Peter’s hip to cup his cheek. “I’ve wanted to do that for forever,” Tony whispered, his forehead tilting forward to rest against Peter’s. “Forever,” he mumbled again – the singular fact that they were in the middle of a public restaurant not registering to either of them. Peter closed his eyes and let himself relax into the embrace.

“Me too,” Peter replied after a while, his eyes opening for a brief second before Tony leaned forward and pressed their lips together again. The thought that maybe this might be a thing from now on made his heart skip and his head tilt a little further to the side, deepening the kiss.

Later that night, Peter thought so much about that kiss – about how utterly perfect the first one he ever got was – how, out of all the people in the world, Tony chose him to be on the receiving end of his affection. After getting to know the boy, Peter understood just how big of a thing that was – he didn’t get any in his home life, it made total sense that being able to give it wasn’t the easiest thing. Yet, it seemed to be earlier that day, the memory of Tony’s lips still ghosting across his own.

----

Finishing out the semester with all A’s, some college credit, and a boyfriend still felt surprising – even two months later when he slid into Tony’s car bright and early in the morning. This new ritual of theirs started when winter break ended, and their high school classes started back up. Since they didn’t have any early college stuff until the middle of January, both boys were free to do what they wanted after 11 every morning. Peter didn’t have any commitments until track practice at the end of the day, so they capitalized on it. His lips were so chapped by the end of the three weeks of freedom they had, and the boys were closer than ever.

He still didn’t understand why Tony wanted to drive 45 minutes in both directions to come and get him – but he wasn’t going to complain. Not having to sit on the bus so early in the morning was a beautiful thing, and all the extra time he got to spend with Tony was even better. Sometimes they were early enough to stop off and get some breakfast – and sometimes they skipped the McDonald’s and took advantage of the extra time; Tony’s back seat felt like a second home after so much time in it.

Though they were always all over each other, things hadn’t escaladed between them. Peter knew the feel of Tony’s cock through the tightness of his jeans – he knew the face Tony made when he came in his pants, but that was the extent of it. For a while, Peter worried that Tony would be mad at him for keeping things low level between them. The emotional feelings he felt for the other boy were so strong – he could only imagine what adding more to the physical sense of those feelings would be like.

With the thought in mind that junior year was the most important and the hardest, Peter and Tony kept their hands to themselves more or less and merely enjoyed being in each other’s company. When they weren’t making out in the back of Tony’s car, they studied at Chester’s or in the library, and spent time with May.

She initially wasn’t on board with the whole relationship when Peter first told her about it – then Tony came to the house for dinner and charmed her pants off. The deal was pretty much sealed after that. Tony seemed to enjoy the family aspect of being with her, and Peter enjoyed the look of happiness on his face too much to deprive him.

Peter thought that track season would put a damper on things between them, but it only seemed to strengthen their bond. Tony didn’t have anything other than robotics going on after school and they were currently on a break until championships at the end of the year – so he came to all of Peter’s meets. By the middle of the season, Peter’s teammates recognized Tony and May as his cheering section – and when things got really intense, many of them would join the pair in cheering Peter on. This was his year and the closer he got to it, the more Tony being there meant – the fact that the other cared about him enough to stand in the hot sun and rainy days was motivation and pushed him harder than he ever thought imaginable.

Winning nationals that year felt so sweet – his entire season was more than amazing and a lot of it had to do with all of the love and support he felt on a constant basis. So, it was easy to finally let Tony have the little bit of love they hadn’t experienced with each other yet. It seemed like the perfect celebration for an achievement that most people couldn’t even fathom – let alone achieve three times. The look of pride on Tony’s face made the decision pretty simple. Not even May looked at him like that – like he was the most prized trophy in the world and that Tony was the true winner here, not Peter.

It wasn’t nearly as awkward as he initially thought it might be. Tony spent a long time prepping him – the view of the boy with sweat on his brow and a look of pure concentration on his face something Peter didn’t ever want to forget. He came more than once throughout the process and when Tony did finally press inside of him, the burn of the stretch felt like the lactic acid build up at the end of a race – something he could easily push through. Watching Tony fall apart above him was almost as good as the rush of intense pleasure when his boyfriend finally found his pleasure center deep within. The utterance of his name never sounded sweeter than when Tony gasped it in the throes of pleasure – his lips finding Peter’s as he rode through it.

Slumping together on the hotel bed after they were done, Peter relaxed into Tony’s arms – the other’s soft hands ran over his hair, lips pressing against his neck every couple of seconds. “I love you, Peter Parker. I love you and I’m so proud of you. So proud, Petey,” Tony mumbled, his lips against salty skin disguising some of the words – but Peter heard enough. His heart picked up its pace, the organ not used to this sort of rush. He loved Tony – that much was obvious to everyone that got to see them together. Never in a million years did he think Tony would be the one to say it first, though.

“I love you too, Tony. Thanks for being here. Not just today, either. You’ve been the best support I’ve ever gotten. I can’t thank you enough,” Peter whispered back, his eyes a little teary. Between the exhaustion of his two days of racing and the emotional roller coaster of it all, Peter felt drained – and that meant a little more susceptible to being smacked in the face with his feelings. Looking over his shoulder, Peter reached for an awkward angled kiss – the move stopping the tears in their tracks.

Without missing a beat when they pulled away, Tony pressed a kiss to his neck and shoulder, hands traveling down Peter’s side. “You deserve it. Not just because you’re good – even though you’re fucking amazing. You bring a lot of things to the table, Pete. The more people get to see that, the more they realize just how big of an asset you are. Why do you think your teammates came up with us to cheer you on? You make an impression – you’re the greatest person I’ve ever known.”

Peter turned over to get a better look at Tony, the boy’s words so big. Now that they were facing each other, Peter could see the post-orgasm flush on Tony’s cheeks and the soft smile his lips seemed to be in on a near permanent basis these days. He pressed a kiss to the edge of his smile on both cheeks, then licked his nose in jest. “I think you’re just biased, babe,” Peter decided to say, all of the other words he could have blurted out stuck in the filter – his head everywhere and nowhere all at once.

The rush of air against his cheek when Tony laughed made his body shudder, the goosebumps taking over his flesh a nifty side effect to the soft sound of his boyfriend’s happiness. “You’re probably right.” His reply was quick and followed by a series of kisses against both of Peter’s cheeks. Tony’s hand ran hypnotically from the middle of his back all the way to the top and then back down again – his entire body now completely relaxed into the comfort of his favorite person.

As most do, their relationship changed a little bit after that. With the summer months ahead of them, there wasn’t much else to do other than spend time together. Tony’s parents left the day after they got back from nationals and would be gone for the rest of the summer – which meant they got run of the huge Stark mansion, just the two of them. They spent way too many hours in the lab constructing a couple new versions of some of their older robotics models – and fucking over available surface, too. It was one of the best summers Peter could remember and they didn’t even leave the city.

Throughout the week, Tony took Peter back and forth between his place and May’s – he still needed to do track workouts and such, so he used the mornings away from Tony to do just that. After his last win, it felt important to make sure he kept at it and tried to advance even more than he already was. He committed to Stanford at the end of the school year and didn’t want to give the school a reason to rescind the opportunity they were giving him. He and Tony were both polishing up their essays before sending in their applications – he still needed to get into the school to actually be able to go be an athlete there.

Peter felt lucky, spending the summer days surrounded in the haze of his love for Tony and the fun they could so easily have with each other. Most of his summers before were spent doing odd jobs around town to make a few extra bucks and counting down the days until he could get back to Midtown. It was miserable and Peter dreaded everything about it.

Not anymore, though – the days were dwindling down way too quickly; the freedom of the summer was too sweet to want to give up.

Regardless of his desires, senior year started without much preamble. The beauty of being with someone as smart as Tony came with having every class with him – even their early college classes on the other campus. Each day got to start and end with Tony, the exact way Peter preferred it.

About halfway through the year, May pulled him aside before he could walk out the door – her eyes filled with concern. “Pete – don’t you think you and Tony might be getting a little bit too serious? We haven’t had dinner without him in months,” May said, her face pinched up tight with discomfort. “It’s just – you’re in high school and you two act like you’re a married couple.”

He couldn’t help the laugh that fell from his lips – the truth of that statement hitting him square in the chest. They did and there wasn’t a single part of him that didn’t like that fact. Life with Tony in it was easy – more natural than breathing, even. It never crossed his mind, how the time they spent together might look to people around them. Tony brought him joy and happiness – and those feelings quickly became the sole focus in his life. He felt good and there wasn’t anyone who could take that away from him – not even May.

“Yeah, we do. And that’s okay. It’s not unhealthy, or anything. I like being around him, May. He makes me happy. Isn’t that what you want – for me to be happy? He’s my best friend. I’m not going to give up on the way that makes me feel – even if you think it’s too much.” Peter didn’t wait for her answer, he simply pressed a kiss to her cheek and walked out the door – the black Audi sitting there immediately making him feel better.

Settling into the seat, Peter buckled himself in before reaching across the middle console to put a hand on Tony’s thigh. “Want to know what May just said to me?” Peter asked, a soft smile on his lips. The thigh under his hand moved as Tony adjusted, his boyfriend turning a bit in the seat to see him more clearly.

“That sounds like a trick question – but I’ll bite. What did May just say to you?” Tony put the car into gear and pulled forward, his hand grabbing Peter’s and tangling their fingers together. “If it’s juicy girl talk about me, I definitely want to know.”

Peter brought their joint hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to Tony’s knuckles – his nose rubbing there for a second. Tony’s hands were always warm, the constant presence of it one of his favorite things about the other boy. “She said we act like a married couple. I can’t lie – I liked the sound of it.” And he did – very much, almost to the point where he wanted it to be the case.

Tony must have liked the sound of that, too – his fingers squeezed Peter’s tightly, his head nodding vigorously. “I too like the sound of that. We might as well be. You’re not ever going to be able to get rid of me,”

Not that he wanted to anyway, Peter thought to himself. The rest of the drive to school, Peter kept the thought at the back of his head – his brain already moving in a billion different directions. They were heading out to California together in the summer, Tony already had plans for their house (though, he failed to share them with Peter,) and his boyfriend was right – there’d be no getting rid of Tony now that the attachment was created. Peter didn’t think either of them wanted to know what it was like to be without the other.

As the year mark of their relationship crept up, so did early acceptance time for Stanford. Between finals week, making goo-goo eyes at each other, and waiting by the mail – Peter felt a little bit of stress. There’d be another opportunity to get into Stanford later on the year, his entire future wasn’t riding on this acceptance letter, yet, he couldn’t stop himself from worrying about it nonetheless.

His record was spotless – but weirder things have happened in his life and he was unable to let himself relax completely. Tony would get in, that was a given – everything about the boy shouted pristine. And despite not wanting to lean on the Stark name, Tony couldn’t escape the prestige that his family offered him.

When the letters did eventually come, Peter almost passed out when he saw the ‘Congratulations’ in the first sentence. He spent so many sleepless nights brainstorming back up plans for no reason. The ability to drop all of the stress and worry away was like lifting the bag from his head – Peter could breathe fully for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Tony pulled him into his arms and pressed a kiss to his lips, the touch lingering only for a moment. “See, you were worried for nothing,” Tony whispered, his nose brushing against Peter’s softly. “Proud of you, Pete.” He kissed him again, this time his lips lingering for a couple of minutes.

The pride they felt for each other made the celebration of their acceptances into college that much sweeter – Tony took his time with every aspect of it, his fingers reverent, his thrusts long and thorough. He pulled every ounce of pleasure from Peter’s skin, while whispering sweet words of nothing the entire time. As Peter hit his peak and felt Tony tumble down with him, the thought of forever came back and hit him again – there was a lot to be said for spending the rest of his days just like this; completely and utterly absorbed in everything Tony was and could be.

----

The rest of the year went pretty quickly after they came back from winter break. Peter scheduled his final semester to be as easy as possible – between the hopes of having his best track season and starting a life with Tony, school was the last thing on his mind. There weren’t too many options for the more advanced classes, anyway – their aeronautical engineering classes the next year would be more than enough.

Some of the best parts of the end of their senior year didn’t come from school or the track. Tony surprised him with a scavenger hunt around Virginia Beach to ask him to prom. The day ended with Tony at the end of their favorite dock with a single red rose. The other knew there wasn’t any need to even ask – they simply put on nice suits the year before and danced the night away. Yet, the fact that Tony went out of his way to make it special felt pretty damn good.

They rode in one of the Stark limos to the big hotel Midtown always held their prom in and spent the entire time making out in the back seat. For some reason, Tony’s fire burnt a little hotter that night. He pulled Peter close and kept him near when they were standing with a couple of the different groups of people they were friendly with. The last slow dance of the night ended with Tony pressing soft kisses to the shell of his ear and muttering about how much he loved him. Getting into the back of the limo, Jarvis didn’t even try to engage them in conversation, he simply rolled up the window and pulled the car away from the curb. Peter couldn’t remember a time when Tony’s touch was so hotly determined.

Their good time at prom translated into an abundance of energy for Peter – the rest of the school year and track season went by in the blink of an eye. Before anyone really knew it, he was lining up for his last ever national’s meet – that thought making his heart thump against his chest. Track was going to get him exactly what he wanted out of his life – it felt a little weird to be closing that particular chapter.

Settling onto the line, Peter closed his eyes and got himself to his spot – the place somewhere in his mind that he could just relax and let his body go. He’d been sprucing the spot up a bunch over the past year, this season one of season best yet because of it. After another second, the gun sounded and Peter took off, his eyes snapping open and completely focused on the run ahead of him.

As he turned the corner of his last ever straightaway in his high school track career, Peter found himself smiling. The last few steps felt like his best yet and when he crossed the finish line to the announcer saying his name over the speaker, he raised a hand in the air and let out a shriek of victory. What a way to end what turned out to be some of the best years of his life so far. Getting there meant so much, Peter couldn’t have done it without the people in the stands supporting him. He looked up to catch eyes with Tony and frowned when he didn’t see him. After a quick look around, Peter noticed him at the edge of the track, a smile on his face.

Tony stepped onto the track; his strides purposeful towards Peter. Tilting his head in question, Peter narrowed the space between them – “Tony, what are you doing?” Peter asked, his face pulling into a grin despite his confusion.  “The next race is – “ he started, but was shockingly interrupted by Tony getting down on one knee before him. Whatever was going to come out of his mouth next was stopped in its tracks, his brain all of the sudden narrowed down and completely focused on the person in front of him.

“This is a long time coming, Pete. I know we’re young and there are so many things that are going to change here soon – but I want to be with you when they do. Growing with you these past couple of years has been the very best thing in my life. You put a smile on my face, and I want that for every morning – every day, for the rest of the ones I have left. Marry me, Pete.” Tony flipped open the box of a simple white gold band, the elegance of its basic nature something that made the rightness of the situation standout. The decision seemed pretty easy after that.

Pulling Tony up, Peter crashed their lips together – his sweaty face and the crowd be damned; his best friend and very favorite person just asked him to share forever. He broke the kiss before it could get too heated, their lips separating just enough for Peter to mumble “yes” in the space between them. The world was narrow for a few seconds as Tony slipped the ring on his finger, a huge smile on his face.

“Well, folks – it looks like our record holder and national champion just got engaged; congratulations, Peter Parker!”

His face flushing, Peter urged Tony off the track and out of the public eye – his heart was pounding, and he wanted so much just to have Tony wrapped around him and nothing else. “I can’t believe you did that. We’re getting married,” Peter exclaimed when they were nestled into the safety of the team spaces under the bleachers. Tony was full of surprises and constantly sweeping him off of his feet. It wasn’t necessary – they both knew that. They were solid and nothing was going to change that. Yet, the weight on his left ring finger spoke volumes, the sweet whisper of the rest of their lives together, and the gentle murmur of a commitment that Peter knew Tony was never afraid to give him.

The glitz of excitement lasted all the way through the metal ceremony and the near constant interviews he gave for a couple hours after that. Everyone wanted to know about the gorgeous stranger that stepped up and asked for his hand. They were curious about everything except his last run around the track – and Peter couldn’t blame them. He didn’t have any interest in talking about running when he could still hear Tony’s words in the back of his head, each one fresh – each one trying to dig a hole in his brain and stay there, to be remembered and kept close.

Peter wasn’t naïve, he knew exactly what getting married young would be like. There were still adult things he didn’t know how to do and leaving May’s house to not only go to college, but be someone’s husband – it was scary. The thought of not having Tony with him, for any reason, was much more frightening than anything else, though; he could learn how to do the laundry and pay his taxes, his genius level intelligence needed to be good for something.

Getting back to the hotel room, Tony pulled Peter through the door and proceeded to slip his hands under the warm-up he’d been wearing since he took off his uniform. His skin was dry now, but Tony’s touch brought the goosebumps rushing back, the surface feeling like it might crack and break all over the carpet if Tony’ didn’t keep touching him. A loud cough from the other side of the room stopped them in their tracks – Peter’s eyes widening when he saw May sitting there, a weird look on her face.

“May – what are you doing here? I thought we were meeting you later?” Peter asked, his brain trying to recall when he gave May his room key. She’d been staying at the nice hotel across the street on Tony’s dime, his boyfriend adamant about making sure May was taken care of. Moving a little, Peter felt Tony’s hands fall from under his shirt, the boy grabbing for his palm, instead – their fingers tangling.

It would have been nice, to marvel in the fact that from here on out, they were going to be together. May didn’t seem to have the same idea, though. She stood and closed a little bit of the space between them – the fact that both parties were standing not lost on Peter. He knew her battle tactics – staying on her feet was the easiest way for May to prepare for an attack. Peter bit down on his lip and prepared for the worst – whatever she had to say, it probably wasn’t pretty.

Turning to Tony first, she looked him square in the eye, her lips moving without any sound coming out for a moment, the woman obviously searching for the right words. “When you asked me if you could marry him, I didn’t think you meant ten minutes later!” May exclaimed, her voice cracking a little with the intensity of it. “I would have liked to have gotten some pictures, or something.” She shook her head, then moved her glance over to Peter, eyes now soft – the heat in them gone the second she started talking at Tony.

“And you – you know you’re only 18, right? Marriage isn’t a joke. Picking up his underwear for the rest of your life is taxing and takes a lot of work. Are you ready for that? To be someone else’s before you even figure out who you are?” May’s questions were valid, her empathy obvious in every action she ever made with Peter in mind. His aunt only wanted to see him excel and succeed – he couldn’t hold her worry or curiosity against her.

Dropping Tony’s hand, Peter narrowed the space between himself and May, his arms wrapping around her shoulders to pull her into a hug. “Do you remember what Ben used to say? When the bones are good, the rest don’t matter. There’s no cracks in the foundation, May. It’ll be okay. I’m scared, too – but I want this.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek then, her arms tightening as the words seemed to sink in.

He knew using Ben against her wasn’t the fairest thing he could have done – it was obvious she felt his loss so sharply still, all these years later and she was still so desperately in love with him. His uncle’s words were ones that stuck out, though. Even as a young kid, Peter knew things weren’t always good for them.

It was a struggle to pay rent with their meager jobs – they were constantly pulling at everything they had to make ends meet; for Peter and more importantly, each other. Peter’s favorite memory of the man was when he pulled both Peter and May into his lap – he looked around the room and said, “this house won’t crumble – the bones are too good.”

And for some reason, that stuck with him. At 5, he had no idea what it meant. He looked around for days to find the bones of the house. Then Ben died and he watched May do everything she could to keep things afloat – the literal backbone of the little family unit that they were. Finding himself with Tony finally made the words mean something to him – the foundation of their relationship was strong enough to keep whatever they decided upright and standing, regardless of the things that came their way.

Tearfully, May looked between them, Peter back by Tony’s side, their hands tangled together once again. “You’re such a dick for using Ben, Pete – but you’re also right. And no matter what I say, you’re going to do what you want. I’m not stupid enough to lose either of you because I’m trying to be a responsible adult,” May stopped then, shaking her head and filling the space between them with silent steps. She embraced them both, one arm around Peter and the other around Tony – both her babies now. “I love you – both of you. Even if you are a couple of idiots.”

Tony’s parents weren’t as kind and made their opinion about it pretty clear. Peter stood next to Tony while Howard berated him about bad decisions and getting ahead in life – his heart broke with every word, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop himself from busting open. “Why do you care now? I’ve known Tony my whole life and you’ve never been this interested in what he does. I spent almost every day with him last summer and you didn’t call once. It seems like it’s a little late to have such a strong opinion about his behavior now, Mr. Stark.”

Everyone in the room looked at him for a couple of minutes – the silence sitting heavily in the already toxic air around them. Tony broke the trance and wrapped an arm around Peter’s shoulders, his lips pressing against the side of his head. “I fucking love you,” Tony murmured. He pulled away and grabbed Peter’s hand, the clank of his boots heavy on the floor as he started to walk out of the room. Neither of his parents said anything or tried to stop him – so they walked down the stairs and left.

There wasn’t anything holding them back now.

----

They decided to be understated about it. Tony used a hefty portion of the funds he miraculously did not get cut off from to buy plane tickets to Hawaii. With May in tow, Tony and Peter got married on the beach in Maui – the sunset in front of them and flower crowns made with the local flora in their hair. The man that officiated the ceremony was a native on the island and took them around to all the best spots in celebration – it was absolutely gorgeous to see the beautiful place from such an insider perspective. Their hired photographer took pictures of them on the beach right as the sun was setting. The whole day absolutely magical, despite the fact that it was just the two of them for most of it.

May stayed in Maui when Peter and Tony left to spend their last week before heading to Stanford together in Honolulu. Their penthouse suite was bigger than his entire childhood home and had the most amazing view of the beach from the balcony at the back of the room. They spent their wedding night getting tipsy with May, so it would be the first night they spent together as husbands – and Peter was a little nervous.

For whatever reason, it felt like a totally new thing, being intimate with Tony now. They were the same people – still Peter and Tony, the young idiots in love. And yet, his heart pounded hard against his chest when Tony wrapped his arms around his hips from behind, his husband’s face settling over Peter’s shoulder. “I can hear you thinking all the way across the room. What’s on your mind, husband?” Tony questioned softly, the movement of his jaw a nice weight against him.

“It’s nice to be able to call each other that, isn’t it? Husband.” Peter reached up and placed his hands on Tony’s, his body relaxing back into him.

Tony moved a bit, giving the side of his neck a kiss. “Yeah, it is.” He pressed another kiss against Peter’s skin, and then another – his lips roaming across all the bare pieces of his neck and shoulder that he could find. “You’re the one, you know? I’m glad I finally get to have the world know that now, too.”

Turning in Tony’s arms, Peter wrapped his own around the other’s neck, their chest’s flush together. If he concentrated hard enough, he could feel the gentle beat of Tony’s heart against him – the rhythm of it steady. “Your possessive nature is kind of my favorite. I’m yours, Tony. Forever and ever.” Peter whispered the words, his nose brushing back and forth against Tony’s. “I love you, husband.” He finished off the sentiment with a kiss, his lips slipping across the other’s until he opened up to him, their tongues tangling.

It didn’t take much to stumble their way inside and land on the large bed in the middle of the master bedroom. The hotel chose a high thread count sheet set, Peter sighing when he relaxed against them. Tony really did go all out. Thoughts were soon replaced by nothing but feeling, Tony’s lips devouring his for minutes at a time, his husband only pulling back enough to catch a quick breath, then driving back in.

Tony took his clothes off one by one. He started with Peter’s short sleeve button down. He’d been growing some facial hair, and it tickled when he pressed his lips to the sensitive skin of Peter’s chest. With only three buttons undone, Tony got sidetracked – his mouth finding first the right nipple, tongue and teeth toying with the nub until it was hard and air sensitive. Only then did he switch, the man taking his time to get his desired result out of that one, too.

Nimble fingers finished the job, the tips of them caressing the lower part of Peter’s stomach and ever so slightly under the waistband of shorts and boxer briefs. He didn’t waste any time at all, either – he pulled the button of Peter’s pants out of the loop and tugged the offensive garment down. That beautiful mouth attached itself to the bulge in Peter’s underwear, the warm air making him toss his head back – his traitorous hips thrusting up off the mattress to get more friction.

Peter slid his fingers into Tony’s hair when he pulled the waistband of his underwear down just enough to let his tongue run over the very tip of an already leaky cock. He couldn’t control the babbles that were coming out of his mouth, most of them not even words – just breathless pants and choked off syllables. Tony worshiped at the alter and took his time slipping his boxer briefs completely off, tracing the length of his cock with eager fingers and tongue, then finally closing his mouth around him completely.

The tight grip at the base of his shaft kept him on the edge of his seat for what felt like forever. Both of Tony’s hands were on him, one hand gripping tight, the other moving with his mouth on the downward stroke – it felt like a fire being stoked from the outside in. “Tony, you’re killing me – I’m so close,” Peter mumbled, his hips thrusting up uselessly into the tight grip of his husband’s hand. Brown eyes completely taken by a lust-addled pupil looked up at him, a glow there.

“Cum, then,” Tony challenged, his lips barely coming off of Peter’s cock to get the words out – he felt the hum of every single one.

He wasn’t one to not listen to directions, so he did just that – Peter’s fingers tightened in Tony’s hair, the strands bunched up between them. “Oh, fuck – “

It took him a second to come back around, his eyes blinking the black dots from them to get a better look at the man between his legs. Tony was still laving his sensitive erection with his tongue, his eyes closed, a look of complete contentment on his face. He watched him long enough to feel the heat bubble in his gut – arousal coursing through him once again.

“Mm – back already. How do you want me?” Tony asked, looking up to catch Peter’s eye. He reached down to tug Tony up, his weight settling on top of him once again. He pressed up and gave his husband a kiss, the taste of himself still fresh on Tony’s tongue. The way the essence of who they were tangled together never ceased to drive him crazy – the underlying taste of Tony below the bitterness so intoxicating.

With Tony over him again, Peter could feel his hardness pressing into his hip – the tip wet, small dribbles of precum dripping from it as they kissed and thrust against each other. Breaking away, he let his fingertips brush Tony’s cheeks, a small smile on his face. “How about you sit back and relax for a minute – I’ll show you exactly what I want.” Peter laid another kiss on his lips before using his hands to push at Tony’s chest, his husband moving without much prodding.

“Sit back against the headboard,” Peter instructed, both of them adjusting until Tony was propped up against the back of the bed, creamy thighs straddling him. With eager hands, Peter reached over to the bedside table, his boy scout of a husband leaving the essentials there when they first got in. “Always prepared,” Peter said with a giggle, the lube bottle swinging between them. Uncapping it, Peter poured a generous amount on his fingers and let it warm up – the slickness something he couldn’t wait to feel.

Sitting up a little, he widened his legs across Tony’s lap, his finger finding his own entrance and pushing in. it still took a little while to get used to, the feeling fingers inside of himself, but Tony’s hands running up and down his thighs helped, his entire being relaxing. “You look good like this, Pete. Your eyes are glazed over and your skin is flushed. The running gives you these amazing thighs – and watching you put your own fingers inside yourself… I want to be those fingers, Pete. I can’t wait to be inside of you,” Tony babbled as he watched and caressed, his eyes glued to Peter’s.

He threw his head back, all of his nerve endings on fire – the delightful tug-o-war between the naughty words coming out of Tony’s mouth and the stretch of his own fingers. It was hard to break away from the intensity of his husband’s gaze, but he needed more – he swiftly replaced one finger with two, a groan slipping from his lips from the delightful burn. “I can’t wait either, baby. I can’t – I need you.” He was groaning, the words dripping from his lips without much of a run through his brain to mouth filter.

Neediness in mind, Peter rushed through the rest of the prep – the tease of it doing its job – Tony was mindlessly thrusting up against him and his own body was humming with want and heat; all of it so very delicious.

Peter uncapped the lube again and poured a generous amount directly onto Tony’s cock, his husband opening his eyes wide – “Fuck, Pete,” he shouted, neither of them all that worried about the noise level. He gripped Tony tightly and spread the slick down his cock, his length glistening when he pulled away. “Please, baby – “ Tony mumbled, his hands gripping Peter’s hips tightly as he settled over him.

There wasn’t much finesse to the way Peter simply sat back and took Tony’s length in – he felt the biting burn of stretching muscles and the tight grip of his husband’s fingers, but not much else. His legs were spread wide, his hips merely rolling to keep the entirety of Tony in him, the tip of his dick sitting just barely against his prostate. With the small thrusts up Tony couldn’t hold back, Peter’s innermost pleasure spot was constantly getting serviced, the divine ache of It out of this world.

It didn’t take much time for Tony to start to lose control – “Move, please – more… I need more.” Tony wasn’t much of a talker when they got to this portion of the evening, he showed his pleasure and appreciation through the touches, each caress saying something different, portraying his feelings in that instant. It sent a jolt to his core and spurred him up onto his feet, his arms holding onto Tony’s shoulders for dear life.

Tony’s hands moved to grip an ass cheek in each one, his hold helping Peter lift up a little more. He moved rapidly, then – his control swiftly shot, the shift in position pressing Tony in a little deeper. The only sounds in the room were the slap of skin on skin and harsh breaths – Peter whimpering every few thrusts down against the tip of Tony’s cock; his insides burning, the heat eating him up cell by cell.

When Tony started to lift his hips to meet his thrusts, Peter saw stars – his orgasm rushing over him without warning. “Tony, oh god – “ his cock emptied between them, each splash of cum coating Tony’s still flexing abs.

The rhythmic clenching of his hole must have been too much – Tony came undone beneath him only seconds later. He gripped Peter so hard he could already feel the bruises starting to form there. The delightful wetness within him made him clench again, the move drawing a long groan from his husband’s lips.

“You’re going to kill me one day,” he mumbled, his hands brushing up the length of Peter’s back as he leaned against him. “But what a way to go.” Peter shut him up with a kiss, their shared laugh almost as amazing as the love they just made.

The rest of the week was spent much the same – Peter and Tony tangled up together. They walked along the beach and spent time exploring each of the islands – one of the days, they met May for lunch and talked about all of the cute island guys that she’d been gathering up the courage to talk to. It was pretty perfect – a good way to relax and enjoy the last couple of days of freedom before the fun started.

Tony didn’t let him leave the bed all of the last day. They bought movies on demand and ate really expensive room service. After the burn he got the day before, Peter was grateful to spend the day in the air conditioning, his body worshipped by his very new and very beautiful husband.

----

They said goodbye to May at the airport and took a left when she went right. Peter was expected to check in for track workouts the very next day. It was hard to see her crying face take the corner – Peter wouldn’t get to go back to Virginia until winter break and when they did, it was only for a week. The indoor season would take up so much of his time, he wondered for a while if he’d be able to keep up with the aeronautical engineering program. There wasn’t any point in worrying, though – they hadn’t even gotten there yet.

After the 5-hour flight into Palo Alto, Tony got them a car that took them to their brand-new town house. It was the first time that Peter saw it, so he brushed off the tiredness and explored the two-story home – Tony must have spent a lot of time ordering furniture while Peter took care of their clothes and other belongings.

The entire house was set up – and their books for the semester were sitting on the dining room table. “I had Jarvis come ahead and set everything up for us. He wanted to buy us a wedding gift, but I thought a week in California for a little bit of interior decorating was a good trade-off,” Tony said, his hand caressing Peter’s cheek when they finally settled into the bar stools in the kitchen. “Do you like it?”

Peter moved quickly out of the seat, wrapping Tony in his arms before his husband could move or even think. “It’s perfect. There’s so much space, I won’t even know what to do with myself. I can’t believe this is ours,” Peter replied, a little bit of awe in his voice. It felt weird to be on his own for the first time, but also amazing – they were finally together, finally on their own, and completely free to start their life together.

Of course, it took a little bit of adjustment to get used to things. Tony didn’t do a lot of his own cleaning growing up and Peter washed the dishes for May every night – so it took more than a few discussions to come to a compromise that worked for them both. When Peter was unhappy, Tony listened to his complaints and tried his best. Peter tried to do the same for his husband and most of the time – it worked. The times that it didn’t, there was enough space for the two of them to separate and cool off. Fights were never major, though Tony sometimes tried to make them so.

It was funny – how different married life actually was to what he pictured in his head. There wasn’t much difference to their relationship. They laughed together often and explored the city – when Peter had track events, Tony went with him. People looked at them oddly when Peter introduced Tony as his husband – many of them telling them both that they would have never guessed they were gay, let alone married. Peter merely smiled and pulled Tony towards him; a soft kiss being pressed to the man’s cheek. “Yup, gay and happily married,” he always replied, a soft smile making the words as convincing as they were true.

Tony took a job in the physics lab during their second semester freshman year, his need to fill the time even more pressing now that Peter would be gone pretty frequently. It gave them a bit of separation and made coming back together a lot sweeter. Right before Peter left for his first ever college track meet, Tony took him to the plant nursery to pick out a couple of the foliage he’d been looking at. They initially wanted a pet but figured that a plant dying would be much less scarring than a dog or a cat.

They went home with a whole selection of house plants – a spider plant, a lucky bamboo, some ponytail palms, and a sword fern. They were perfect for the back part of the house where the morning sun peaked in. They would be successful parents one day and that journey started with the plants that they picked out with care. It was fun to argue about how to arrange them and when they ended up on the floor with nothing on but a little dirt from a tipped over pot, Peter figured they’d do an okay job keeping their little babies alive.

College track was a lot different than the high school circuit – the abundance of meets making it a little harder to recover and by default, Peter a little grumpier than usual. A Thursday after a long practice, Peter came home to an empty house. He’d been looking forward to pouncing on Tony, his need for comfort almost overwhelming to the point where he was a little pissed by his husband’s absence.

Pulling out his phone, he called Tony, his head tilting when he heard the man’s distinct ring up the stairs. A soft sigh left his lips when he saw Tony on the bed, fast asleep. All of the bad feelings slipped from him – his face pulling into a grin. The siren song of the love of his life looking so cute in bed pulled him in, too – Peter kicked off his shoes and wrapped himself around Tony, his eyes slipping closed within moments.

The smell of bacon woke him up a little while later. Glancing over at the clock, Peter saw that it’d only been a couple of hours. Grinning at the thought of overcooked pig, he climbed out of bed and hobbled down the stairs, his body still a little sleep addled.

The sight of Tony at the stove was heartwarming, he wasn’t the best cook – he never had to make a meal for himself before moving out here in his life; but he tried, and that was enough. The one thing Peter knew he could make was bacon, though – his stomach grumbled hungrily at the thought.

“Hey, husband,” Peter announced, his voice making Tony turn from the stove with a slight jump.

“Hey yourself. You’re looking good, Pete. That little bit of sleep did you good, baby.” Tony smiled at him warmly, the bright look in his eye never dulling, the intensity of it only seeming to glow more as the days passed. It felt good – to be loved like that. So selflessly, with so much of a person that was willing to give him absolutely everything.

Walking over to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, Peter grabbed his hips, fingers squeezing. “Yeah, thanks – its been a hectic couple of weeks. Conference is coming up, so they’ve got their foot on the gas with training. Speaking of – I can get you a pass, if you want to come.”

Tony flipped the burner off and went about putting things on plates, his husband turning with his hands full to nod enthusiastically at him. “You know I want to come, Pete. I haven’t missed one of your meets yet. It was kind of fun to go to Idaho a couple of weeks ago – I’d never been before.” He set a plate in front of Peter, a glass of orange juice following it a couple of moments later. “I’m going to get your distance coach to like me one of these days.”

Peter ate with one hand, the other playing with the fingers tangled with his own. Tony talked a bit about his day in the lab and told him about the copy of notes he made for Peter that was sitting on his desk in the study. He simply let him talk, Peter luxuriating in the clarity of being with Tony. It didn’t matter if he had a shitty day or that he was tired all the time – having Tony to come home to was nice – better than nice.

A couple of weeks later, Peter was getting ready for a race when one of his teammates came up to him, a question evident in his eyes. Letting out a breath, Peter turned his attention to him. “What’s up, Clint? I’m sure the rumor mill is churning up something good.” Peter said sarcastically, his arms still swinging in an attempt to keep himself warm.

“Why are you married? You’re talented, you’re hot – you could have anyone that you wanted. Instead you’re tied down. Why? Everyone wants to know why.” Clint didn’t beat around the bush, the blush on his cheeks the only sign that he felt a little bit embarrassed by the question. Peter grinned, the question one he could easily answer.

“Because I love him. He loves me. We take care of each other. He’s my best friend. I wanted to be with him forever and so did he. There are lots of reasons.” Peter’s smile grew when he saw Tony coming his way, his husband carrying a Gatorade and a hot dog, the bottle being thrust his way the second he was close enough to Peter. “Because he buys me Gatorade without asking,” Peter added, his arm wrapping around Tony’s shoulder.

Twenty minutes later, when Peter was pulling up from his push through the last lap, he looked up to see a group of his teammates sitting with Tony, all of them clapping and cheering with him – his husband hopping around like a madman. When they caught eyes, Tony stopped, his fingers coming to his lips to blow him a kiss. He mouthed ‘I love you’ at him – Peter’s heart stopping a bit at the softness of his cheeks and the look of pure affection on his face.

Peter ran to the edge of the track and grabbed the edges of the fence, a huge smile on his face. “I love you too, Tony Stark.”

Opening up the text from Clint a couple hours later, Peter couldn’t help but laugh. Tony looked over his shoulder to see a picture of Peter clinging to the fence, the shot of his side profile showing off the huge smile on his face. “Loving me looks good on you,” Tony whispered, his lips pressing against the shell of Peter’s ear.

“Yeah, it really does.”

[himbowelsh]

Hi! Can I maybe interest you in the valentines A-Z for our fav radio man George Luz? 🤗

babe you BET you can, i’m always interested in george luz

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! )

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

George is...  well, to put it simply, he’s a cuddler. He’s a very tactile person, without even thinking about it; casual touches, like squeezing a shoulder or clapping someone’s back comes easily to them, and is a simple way to express his affection. When he really cares for someone, he can get a bit needy  ---  he needs that same level of physical intimacy and affection. He’s very eager to hold the person he loves, to pull them close and feel their body against his, their heartbeat and breaths matching his own  ---  but nothing makes him feel better than getting that back.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Honestly? Not a fan. Like, he’ll get his Mama a bouquet for Mother’s Day, but George is more likely to rock up with a gift or giant stuffed animal than a bouquet. There’s something about them...  he doesn’t like having to watch flowers wilt and die. It just unsettles him.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

He’s not weird about it. Yeah, he likes chocolate, but he won’t go feral over it unlike some Liebgotts out there

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He’s the sort of guy who has to be kept entertained; his ideal date is definitely an amusement park or a drive-in theatre (beware, he’s definitely seen the movie before and will keep up a running commentary through it). Carnivals? Oh, heck yes, count him in. Fireworks show? Please. Give George a fun and colorful setting, the opportunity to show off a bit, and a fun partner who can keep up with him...  that’s the perfect date.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Yes, he loves hugs! He thrives on hugs! Again, George is fueled by physical intimacy. His hugs are very steady, very earnest, and sometimes cling a bit too much...  but whenever he lets go, there’s sincere emotion on his face, and anyone can see how much he means it.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Oh yeah, he’s definitely a flirt, but it’s not something he can help! He’s just...  got one of those faces, okay? That smirk alone flirts without trying. When George is actually trying, he’s definitely able to keep the mood of the party light; if he’s drawn to someone, he’ll joke around with them, but if they seem to respond in kind, then the flirting begins in earnest. He won’t throw himself down on the table in front of them...  but winks, smirks, casual touches? It’s all there, baby.

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

Gift giving is an art, and George Luz has honed it. He just...  remembers things about people. Innocuous things, small comments, major life events, he remembers all of it, and keeps it stored away for a later date. He’s given his fair share of joke gifts, but when he gives something with sincerity in mind, it’s always somehow the perfect thing. George gives people gifts they didn’t even realize they needed.

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

Honestly, he’s quicker than he should be, and he knows it. George...  wants to be loved. He needs attention and affection like he needs air. So when he falls for someone, he definitely falls hard, and there’s no way to really stop that trajectory. A part of him doesn’t trust himself, because he knows that’s a great way to get his heart broken.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

He definitely thinks it way before he actual says it. George Luz, keeping a thought to himself? Inconceivable! But the fact is, George is shy about saying it...  because he’s scared he might not hear it back. His partner would have to say it first...  and from that moment on, there’s no stopping him. George loves saying “I love you”. He tosses it out at random times, in casual and meaningful moments alike, just to hammer the point home  ---  saying it often doesn’t make it any less true.

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

He...  can get a little insecure at times, so yeah, if he sees someone else flirting with his partner, he won’t like it, and will definitely try to break it up ASAP. Not with fists  ---  a little charm and a well-placed wisecrack can work wonders.

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

Oh gosh, yes. George is...  the sort of kisser you wake up in a cold sweat about. He knows what he’s doing, and this is something he’s actually really confident about: George Luz is a damn great kisser. This is the one time he actually shuts his mouth, and puts it to work instead. Just the right amount of tongue, and touch, and teeth... while he’s definitely a bit of a tease, George knows what he’s doing, and exactly how to get his partner’s heart pounding. His biggest flaw is his habit of grinning during kisses, which... ends with bashing teeth together usually, not a fun time. Then he’ll start laughing, the mood is broken, and he’s gotta take a moment.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

His entire family  ---  and George has a massive family. All his friends  ---  and he has so many friends, seriously. The funny clerk at the grocery store who always gives him a discount; the nice old ladies down at the bingo club who talk about their grandkids a lot; the neighbor whose leaky roof he fixed who couldn’t actually pay him, but gave him an entire pie. George has so much love to give, it sometimes physically hurts.

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Morning George has bedhead, and Nighttime George has at least had a chance to run a comb through it, so he’s more confident in his ability to impress at night.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

“Naughty” is a good word for it. George is a tease; he likes to have fun, and does not want sex to be an intimidating experience for anyone. He’ll be the first one to admit that he messes around too much, but it’s just to cover up the insecurities he feels deep down  (and also, when he’s nervous he sometimes doesn’t know how to Turn It Off). He’s a talker during sex. If he’s not making an inappropriately-timed joke, compliments are probably spilling from his mouth, like he’s not even sure what he’s saying. You have to actively work to shut him up...  and even then, he’s still pretty loud. He’ll definitely be able to make his partner laugh, but when he gets to teasing, he can be absolutely unbearable. If the other person takes control  ---  which, holy shit, drives George absolutely wild  ---  it’s super easy to get under George’s skin, because he’s sensitive in a lot of places. When he goes over the edge, he goes over the edge hard...  it takes a while for him to recover, and sometimes he’s left dizzy for a few minutes. Aftercare is very important, and another thing he absolutely loves.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

He’s got a smart mouth and the inability to shut up. That’s almost the same thing.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Personality, absolutely. Whoever George falls for has to be able to snare him. He needs a little excitement, someone to keep him on his toes  ---  definitely someone with a great laugh. If they can make him laugh too, that’s a bonus; he’d love someone with a smart mouth. And kindness is super important  ---  he definitely wants someone who’ll go out of their way to help others out, even if it puts them at a disadvantage. (He has a thing for green or brown eyes, they just get him. Curly hair? Excellent, fun to run his fingers through. But he is...  genuinely not picky whatsoever.)

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

Oh, he wants to do it. Absolutely. He’s got a plan and everything. Multiple plans. Many of them are elaborate and involve pyrotechnics with the strong potential for disaster, but...   eh, it’ll probably be fine. If no one dies during the proposal, it’s a great omen for the relationship!

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He thinks of himself as...  a practical romantic. Like, he’s not all butterflies and Disney ballads, but there’s a very strong streak in him that’s eager to be loved and have someone to dote on in return. When George is falling in love, he’s all about seizing romantic, spontaneous moments when they arise  ---  any way possible for him to show it.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He didn’t slow down long enough, to be honest. Lil Georgie was an energy ball. I could see him having some crushes on a few other kids, especially as he grew a bit older and middle school hormones happened, but he was no Baby Romeo.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

He...  believes in love. True love isn’t something he’s ever really thought about, because the idea’s always seemed kind of silly to him, like something out of a kid’s story. Love is love. 

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

He’s been rejected plenty of times, but nothing’s ever truly shattered him. George bounces back quickly.

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

“Stupid. Commercial garbage. Not even a holiday, why do we need it? Anyways, I booked us a dinner at eight at that restaurant you love, and don’t look under your pillow ‘cause there’s definitely not chocolate there ---”

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

It’s not, like...  the be-all-end-all of his happiness, and if his partner didn’t want to, he’d be cool with that. Yeah, he’d personally really like to get married and start a family, but... more than anything, he wants someone who’ll stay. You don’t absolutely need a ring for that.

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

He will absolutely make up goofy pet names for his loved ones to tease them, and likes to get creative with them. Nicknames come easy to George, and are always affectionate  ---  he jokes that he’s got so many nieces and nephews that no way can he remember all their names, but he’s got a nickname for each one and remembers those without even trying.

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

He can be, if he feels like a person he cares about is being threatened! If George sees a loved one in a tight spot, he’d going to jump in real quick. He won’t get immediately confrontational, that’s not his style...   but he’ll be there, at their backs, ready to step in if needed. His go-to move is an arm around his loved one’s shoulders, with a grin and a too-cheerful  “we got a problem here?”

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

Like...  he’s no nymphomaniac, but if he can, he will. Consent is very important to him, and he’s very in tune with his partner’s feelings, so he’ll only do it if both parties are firmly on board...  but if someone’s interested in him, and he’s in the mood? Sign him up and pin him down.

[ks-caster]

The 100 Season 7 Episode 4 - Post-Liveblog Recap

Okay, so I liveblogged an episode for the first time - and it turned out to be a nice way to stay focused through the commercial breaks. Might continue to do that for the rest of the season.

But TBH I started doing it just so I could bitch about the CLEAR AND BLATANT LACK OF A SCENE WHERE SANCTUM!KRU REALIZE THAT BELLAMY AND ANOMOLY!KRU ARE MISSING. That was an important scene that the whole fandom, more or less, has been waiting for the entire time for various reasons. 

How do the characters react? Who figures out that something’s wrong first? Does Clarke sense Bellamy’s absence because they have a bond? Does Emori go looking for her space sister to comfort her other space sister only to find her missing? 

(Actually, she does. That’s my headcanon and I’m sticking to it. Might fic later. Accounts for Emori’s complete absence while her bestie Raven is falling apart.)

Edit: here's the fic!

Anyway, back to the episode - whoever was in charge of editing really really dropped the ball. Missing realization scene, poorly ordered Raven and Clarke scenes. The music during the Dev-and-Hope montage was a nice touch but just too loud enough that I really had trouble telling what they were saying - and the pacing would have felt better with just one show of teenage!Hope before we got 20-year-old her. The cut from Orlando agreeing to train Anomaly!Kru to 5 years later was WAY too abrupt for me to get a feel for the character and relationship development that they were trying to shoehorn in in order to create conflict at the end. I got where they were going with everything, but in a I’m-reading-a-newbie-writer’s-fanfic-because-I-love-the-story-concept-and-want-to-support-them kind of way and not in a I’m-watching-a-show-made-by-experienced-professionals-and-paying-for-the-privilege-in-ad-revenue kind of way. Disappointing.

Jumping around here for a bit: I gotta say I’m loving the makeovers this season! Hair and makeup did a great job on bringing back the old Raven without losing the maturity they gave her, giving Murphy and Emori their Gucci Royalty Vibes without losing the feel of their individual styles, and making Hope look like she can’t find quite the balance between feral forest girl and innocent shut-in who can’t bear to take a life (which is accurate to her character, of course). 

And Echo! So I really, really didn’t like her makeovers in seasons 5 and especially 6, because it felt like they were trying too hard to make her look pretty in a 21st Century kind of way. She looked softer, more vulnerable, which really contradicted her character traits - but I thought that might’ve been on purpose, to show a change in her (that she did indeed allow herself to become softer and more vulnerable for her family). And her post-time-skip (not that one. Or that one. The other one. There’s a lot of those. Bah.) look feels like a return to herself; she’s beautiful but in a no-nonsense, don’t-forget-I-can-cut-your-throat kind of way. (Is this because I just really love the butch look on woman and am myself a butch woman? Maybe. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.)

Side note: Where the hell did they get clippers on Penance? Those haircuts were entirely too even to have been done with scissors. I’ll buy that Gabriel and Orlando shaved their heads and their perfect round cuts were growout, but Hope and Echo? Electric clippers. Like I said I like the looks, but guys, there’s no way.

I liked that I got a better feel for Hope’s character this episode - she’s trying so hard to be like her mom and Aunty O and all the heroes they told her about when she was a child, but the truth is she’s been in one real battle, she froze, and her best and only friend died. And since her only role models were these incredibly strong people who didn’t give up, back down, hesitate, that wouldn’t be an easy thing for her to get over. (Given that Diyoza was pregnant with her for two entire seasons, I’d really like to have more time developing Hope’s character - or even the same amount of screen time but go easier on the timeskips, lol. She keeps having growth/maturity/life experience spurts so it’s hard to keep up with the development that we’re shown.

So, 5 (7? Wasn’t she 22? There’s still 2 years we missed right?) years after watching her friend die, and 5 (7?) years of blaming herself for freezing, she’s put into the same position, and she stabs some lady in the neck. Kid didn’t steal her coping mechanisms! All joking aside thought, the kid basically relived her trauma in real life - honestly her reaction was 100% valid.

I’m sure I’m supposed to be upset by Echo’s choice to kill the remaining gold-head people. But I think the only reason that’s supposed to bother me is that she promised (ish - she was real explicitly clear that she’d do what was necessary to rescue Bellamy and them were the breaks) Orlando that she wouldn’t. I think I’m supposed to care about the fractured relationship between AnomalyKru and Orlando.

I don’t. I don’t know if it’s the super-fast timeskip (it was weird enough to see the changed dynamics in SpaceKru when I deeply knew all of the characters AND we got time to see the changes play out) or the fact that I didn’t really get to know Orlando in a way that made me super sympathetic to him (I’ll get to that in a minute) or if it’s just that he was smart enough to know he was being played from the start (see Navy SEAL mom didn’t teach you how to swim and Echo again being 100% clear that killing people might still happen) and walked right in anyway. Either way, his betrayal wasn’t enough of a motivator for me as an audience member to be bothered about how things ended between him and AnomalyKru. I kind of shrugged and moved on.

More on Orlando... So The 100 has had several plotlines that center around people doing dangerous, terrible and downright ridiculous things because of their religions; see the kidnapping and conclave of freaking children killing each other to become commander, Gaia’s whole character arc + starting a new religion around Octavia/WonKru betraying that religion to go back to their old one centering on Madi, WHO IS GODDAMN TWELVE, all of Sanctum and season 6, the Sanctum conflict here in season 7, and now this goddamn Bardo Disciple shite.

Now I’m not dishing on real life religion or religious people - I happen to have one of those myself - but the plot of some-people-take-their-religion-way-too-far-drink-the-koolaid-and-hurt-people-around-them has been done and done and done on this show. And now here we have Orlando, who was a high-ranking member of his religion, drank the koolaid, cast out, still a true believer and therefore dangerous because his perspective is fundamentally skewed. I don’t know anything about this religion but that it’s militarized (they can arrest people) and think that sentencing people to 10 years of madness-inducing Geneva Convention violations and then bringing them back to their families two days later is okay. I don’t really want to know anything else, because I’m worried that the show is going to work hard on making this religion scarier than the Sanctum one (needing to one-up themselves with the big bad, of course) which just keeps making the commander religion look humane in comparison. 

Which it wasn’t. But I digress.

So Orlando was kinda’ cool, but getting in too deep with a fundamentalist who was complicit in his own abuse by said religion (and so who knows what he thought was okay to do to other people) and then it ended badly.

Cue shocked Pikachu.

Moving on. Clarke. Baby. After the harrowing experience of the radiation destroying the radio so you couldn’t say goodbye to your mom when you were supposed to go to space, then missing your time window and getting left behind on Earth, and the radio broke them too so you couldn’t even be sure your friends would leave in time until they blasted off, and then calling Bellamy every day when you knew he couldn’t hear you, and ALL OF THE FREAKING LAST SEASON WHERE YOU WERE POSSESSED AND WOULD HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO LET YOUR FRIENDS AND DAUGHTER KNOW BOTH THAT THAT WASN’T YOU AND THEN LATER THAT YOU WERE ALIVE and THEN your MOTHER getting possessed and you had to check to see if it was really her and it WASN’T. Clarke. 

After all that terrifying inability to communicate.

You leave Gaia behind to warn everyone of the danger. INSTEAD OF CALLING THEM ON A PIECE OF HANDY TECHNOLOGY OR TAKING A QUICK TRIP BACK YOURSELF. TO TELL YOUR DAUGHTER WHERE YOU WERE GOING. YOU DON’T THINK THAT MAYBE MAKING EXTRA SURE THAT EVERYTHING GETS COMMUNICATED CLEARLY AND IMMEDIATELY MIGHT BE A PRIORITY.

And then Gaia gets kidnapped. Honestly, cool! Not ‘cause I’m rooting for Gaia to be hurt (I don’t care all that much about her tbh) but I LOVE Indra and I want her to have more screen time and development this season - and or the chance to cut people up with her sword - and kidnapping her daughter seems like a great way to facilitate that.

*Looks at list* Oh, right, Jordan. I forgot you were here. Honestly I can’t figure out what the fuck is going on with you, and since I’ve had a whole season of not connecting with you because the story was too busy focusing on external plot... I don’t see that changing any time soon buddy. Sorry.

Oh and that FrEaKiNg PrOmO! 

My garbage boy! My chaos gremlin! My excellent-at-impersonating-a-deity-even-if-it-goes-against-his-programming! What are they doing?! 

I’m torn between NO DON’T HURT HIM and YES HURT HIM BECAUSE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND BRAVERY BWAHAHAHA. At least I know there’ll be Murphy and hopefully Memori content in the next episode. That’s the good shit. It’s the only thing left about this show that still feels “pure,” not that I didn’t know what sort of darkness I was signing up for when I started but just because he and Emori are sort of the last light in the darkness, and it’s nice to get a break periodically.

[moneypedia]

March 27, 2017 By Drew Shepherd

So this post is obviously about depression, but since this is the first one here, I guess I should start by asking, “What is Hunger for Excellence?”

I see it as a tool to build people up. It’s an outlet for me to use what I’ve learned over the years to help others.

I want them to develop a mindset that finds the good in any situation. And I want them to experience the joy I have now without wandering through what I did for years.

That’s why this site exists.

Everything here is for the benefit of others, but in my mind I’m only writing for one person.

I’m writing for “myself”.

Not me personally, but for that one person who’s still where I was in the past. I strive to be the person now that I needed then.

Depression is an experience that’s still fresh in my memory, but now I can say without a doubt that I did more than beat depression…

I conquered it. It’s finished. It’s over.

You may be in the same position I was in back then, and I believe it’s my duty to show you how I defeated this attack on the mind.

So I’ve split this post into two parts with Part 1 telling my personal story, and Part 2 showing a guide that helped me turn it all around.

Now I know you don’t want to listen to someone who has no idea what you’re going through, but I promise, I’ve been there, and I discovered peace that most people can’t begin to understand.

My Story

Today I’m happy to say that I enjoy life. I’m in control of my mental state and I understand how to find real peace and happiness. The only person who can destroy my outlook now is myself, and I refuse to let that happen.

It hasn’t always been this way, though. I used to be one weak kid.

I grew up as an only child in a loving family. And despite my goofy personality, everyone I knew liked me.

I was a promising student and a better than average basketball player. So nothing to complain about really. I was good at everything I did then because, well, I always had been.

But that all changed around high school.

Basketball was getting serious and people on all sides pretty much forced me to transfer schools. So being the naïve kid I was, I left and hoped for the best.

It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make, but it made sense. Opportunities were everywhere. Not just in athletics but as a student too.

I could have a fresh start with a new team, there were plenty of people to meet, and the new school was on the popular side of town.

The problem was, I didn’t have a mindset close to what I needed to make that change. I thought I was entitled to any form of success. And why not? Everything I touched turned to gold before then.

I was paralyzed when I saw things wouldn’t be so easy. All I could think about on the court was keeping up with the new guys. I remember practices where my hands were literally shaking because I felt so much pressure to perform.

This lack of confidence led to a quick loss of my teammates’ respect. And I was even denied my favorite jersey number, 22.

My fear sabotaged any attempt I made to improve. Couple that with the knee injuries I sustained during the year, and it’s easy to see why I was cut after one mediocre season.

It was the first time I had ever been dropped from a roster, and that drove everything else downhill.

But the worst part about it was, I wanted to be cut.

By then I just didn’t care. A game I loved became a chore to me and I hated every minute of it.

I wish I could say I tried my hardest and failed. I wish I could say I was sad when I didn’t see my name on that list.

But I can’t. And that still hurts the most.

Downhill

If you’ve ever been robbed, you know how vulnerable it makes you feel afterwards. The fact that someone entered your place and took what you worked for makes you feel helpless.

Well I let fear rob me of what I had loved since childhood, and I was stuck in a place where I didn’t belong afterwards.

It was all embarrassing.

It changed the way I viewed myself and I didn’t look others in the eyes anymore. People looked in my direction and it was like they saw right through me.

I became a very cynical person around that time—definitely not someone you wanted to be around. The few friends I had back then picked up on it and of course they turned away.

Watching friends turn their backs on me led to bitterness on my end, but with the way I was acting, I don’t know how anyone could have tolerated me.

I second-guessed my interactions with everyone. Why wouldn’t others see me as a failure if that was how I viewed myself?

My attitude led me to believe that no one could relate to me. And being one of the few, if not the only black kid in my classes confirmed that belief in my mind.

But even the high grades I always earned started to slip. I went from being an overachiever in the classroom to just being good enough to keep my parents off my back.

And with the teenage hormones on top of that, I lost all confidence. Classmates asked me how the chemo was going to treat the “tumors” I couldn’t control, and that nearly broke me.

I told my parents about all this so they would understand why I was falling apart. But they only gave the “just be yourself”, “be friendly to others”, “it’ll just work out” advice you get from well-meaning people. Besides, kids from Christian families weren’t supposed to deal with this kinda stuff.

All of that frustration took its toll on me, and I remember looking in the mirror to see my own scowl in the reflection.

But soon my eyes dulled and a blank gaze replaced the grimace that was there before. And I stopped caring about everything.

Escape

Since I didn’t know how to cope with any of this, I tried to escape. I was smart enough to avoid alcohol and drugs back then, but I had to find something.

Food was one source I used to fill my void. I ate any and everything, whenever I wanted, and soon I was unrecognizable after gaining 40 pounds.

Videogames were the other route I took. I enjoy playing them now in the rare chance I have free time, but back then it was go to school, eat, and play games.

Gaming was one activity I was still good at, and people appreciated me when it was time to play. It was one area where I didn’t feel useless—like I actually had something to offer.

But soon it got to the point where I was playing till early morning every day. My eyelids barely opened in class but it didn’t matter to me. The hint of joy I got from playing outweighed everything else.

But my mind wasn’t satisfied with those forms of escape.

Some of the lowest points I remember were on the drives home from school. I saw cars in the other lane driving towards me and the thought of “what if…” kept popping up.

I even imagined what my funeral would be like. And I smirked and teared up at the thought of my parents sitting alone in the empty pews.

But while I never seriously considered suicide, I still couldn’t stop the thoughts. I just knew I needed a way out.

That’s why I started counting the days till graduation. My environment had to be the cause of all this. It couldn’t have been me.

Enough

Graduation came and went, and guess what? Nothing changed.

If anything my first few years in college left me more isolated. My parents weren’t around anymore and plenty of new strangers saw how lonely I really was. I would hear chuckles in class and I always thought people were taunting me.

The transition to college coursework didn’t help either. I had never felt that…dumb before. I lost any trace of being a great student and I was in danger of losing my biggest scholarship.

My list of failures kept growing and growing. My high school experience was a disaster. I couldn’t make or keep any friends. And now there was a good chance that I would need thousands of more dollars to stay in school.

That was when I had enough.

I hated the mess I was in. I knew that if I lost that scholarship, my fall from wherever I was at before would have been complete.

Basketball, high school, former friends, I knew none of that mattered anymore but I was still hurting. I just wanted to enjoy my last years before the “real world”, and yet I couldn’t.

I knew I needed to change but I didn’t know how.

Comeback

So what did I do next?

I did the same thing I’d advise you to do if you’re ready to change.

I made a decision. A decision to commit to excellence. I wanted to do better in every part of my life.

So I chose to:

Embrace my faith

Craft an undeniable work ethic

Get in the best shape of my life

And love others but not be devastated if I was alone

I was sick of the life I was living. I didn’t know how to turn it around but I knew I had to stop accepting it.

And that decision was what led to change within the next few years:

My grades shot up to the top of the class

I lost those 40 pounds and got into better shape than my playing days

I formed satisfying relationships that I never thought I would see again

But most importantly, I found peace that others couldn’t begin to understand.

“Well that sounds great Drew, but how could you possibly help me?

Weren’t you just a loser in school? You didn’t get fired from your job. You didn’t lose one of your loved ones. Your family wasn’t torn apart by divorce…”

You’re right. None of that happened to me.

I was just a kid who let a few disappointments grow into a lingering depression. But I told my story to relate to how you may feel, not to have a woe-is-me pity party where we see who’s lived the worst life.

It’s okay to be disappointed. Things won’t always go your way. But you can’t let a temporary defeat turn into permanent failure like I did.

I wasted 4 years of my youth being an empty shell because of that mistake. And that’s no way to live life.

Make Your Choice

Again, this all comes down to what you choose.

If you don’t want to work to change your situation, and all you want to do is complain and hope it magically ends…

Then I can’t help you. No one can.

But…

If you’re done living like this, and you’ve committed to making a change…

Part 2 is for you.

You’re ready to turn things around, and I won’t get in your way.

-Drew