#while also not doing any of the fucking work yourself
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WIP DUMP
okay so this is lowkey inspired by @jayparked posting about her wips a bit ago (check them out here she's crazy talented and i can't wait to read them all) and since i've been struggling with writing recently i thought maybe sharing some of my wips could help. also biggest thanks to snail for helping me with the synopses for some of these and listening to me stress over the banners and everything
if you want to talk to me about any of them or wanna get tagged pls don't hesitate to send asks or comment on this post, i'd love to talk about them some more🥺❤️
MIDNIGHT IN MILAN — lhs
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, established relationship, idol AU (both heeseung and yn)
⟡ ┆ warnings. semi-public sex, unprotected sex, mirror sex, mild choking, creampie, fingering, tiniest hint of degradation (he calls her a slut like once), one singular spank, some hair pulling, not really any aftercare
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 6k
they say love makes you do stupid things...surely fucking your boyfriend in the bathroom at the prada after party when your relationship isn't even public and neither of you can afford a dating scandal isn't that stupid, right?
(i'm well aware the hype around tipsy heeseung has already died down but i started writing this immediately after the pics dropped and then got hit by writers block so i'm dedicated to finish this)
!! more under the cut !!
HE HATES ME, HE HATES ME NOT — psh
⟡ ┆ featuring. sunghoon x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, enemies to lovers, coworker AU, miscommunication (ikik), lowkey past fuckboi sunghoon
⟡ ┆ warnings. hate sex, semi-public sex (in an archive room?), protected and unprotected sex (there's several smut scenes), choking, spanking, degradation, praise kink, oral (m. and f. receiving), handjob, fingering, manhandling, overstimulation, dacryphilia, spit kink
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 20k
park sunghoon hates you, and you hate him. it hadn't always been like that, when you first joined the company he works at he was friendly, a real gentleman, but over time of working together he turns cold, sometimes even downright mean, and you cannot for the life of you figure out what caused the sudden change in his behavior. however, things between you change yet again when you 'accidentally' get locked in your offices archive room.
HOME IS WHEREVER YOU ARE — lhs
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college!au, friends to lovers
⟡ ┆ warnings. there's some talks of depression as well as unhealthy coping mechanism so be aware of that pls, protected sex (be proud of me okay), oral (f. and m. receiving), vanilla af, neither of them are virgins or inexperienced but they just having sex for the first time together after realizing they've been in love with each other for years :')
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 14k
"distance makes the heart grow fonder." is no longer just a cliche saying. heeseung decided to follow his dreams, but doing so lead him to a different city, leaving you behind. no other friends, no hobbies to keep yourself busy, and no motivation to keep going, the only thing keeping you on some sort of routine is attending your college classes that your parents force you to go to. just when you're about to officially quit and give up, heeseung shows up out of nowhere and manages to pull you out of your slump, upturning your whole friendship in the process.
NATURAL REMEDY — pjs
⟡ ┆ featuring. jay x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, physical therapist!reader, patient!jay, probably hipaa violations idk just don't do this irl basically
⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), body worship (jay receiving bc he deserves someone to tell him or handsome he is), handjob, lots of oil, lowkey massage kink idek what to call this??
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 5k
when jay hurts his knee while goofing around with his friends, his doctor recommends rest and physical therapy. lucky for him, your office is just around the corner, just that neither of you can make good on the ordered rest by doctor.
HEALTHY COMPETITION — lhs + sjy
⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader x jake
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college au, non-idol au, and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates), no romance just fucking
⟡ ┆ warnings. basically no plot, threesome (duh), protected and unprotected sex, anal, double penetration, spanking, oral (m. and f. receiving), multiple rounds, manhandling, they make it a competition to see who can make her moan the loudest...
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 9k
your roommates bickering should be nothing but white noise to you at this point, but when they both rope you into their little argument of who fucks better things take an interesting turn and a welcomed distraction from studying is provided.
SNEAKY LINK — sjy
⟡ ┆ featuring. jake x fem!reader
⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, uni AU, frat boy jake (i'm sorry), friends with benefits but no one knows, alcohol consumption (they're not drunk and both consenting !!)
⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex (it's a theme for me atp, don't do this irl pls), dry humping, fingering (it's jake come on now), kinda rushed sex ig, does it count as exhibitionism when they fuck in a spare bedroom idk, oral (f. receiving), breast play
⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 4k
frat parties usually weren't your thing, but when your best friend invites you (with the intention to be her wingwoman) you're not one to let her down. that is until you run into jake, whom you've been fooling around with without anyone knowing ...
© sungbeams — all rights reserved. i do not give permission to copy, repost, modify or translate my works.
#lia.txt#wips#wip dump#pls interact guys :(#gonna put some enha tags for exposure sorry in advance !!#heeseung x reader#sunghoon x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen x reader#heeseung smut#sunghoon smut#jake sim x reader#jake sim smut#jay park x reader#jay park smut
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TUTOR!MATT x BRATTY!READER
bratty!reader tries to take control in the bedroom.. but tutor!matt isn't having it
˚𝜗𝜚 warnings... smut, dom!matt, sub!reader, p in v, unprotected sex (don't do this pls!!), bigdick!matt, stomach bulge, overstimulation, squirting
“shh- matt. no! stop! just- just shut up, be a good boy f’me,” you whined with furrowed brows, both your hands resting on his bare chest while your legs were sprawled out on either side of his hips, his throbbing cock nestled deep inside of you making your head spin.
you were desperately trying everything to at least earn a whine from him, wanting to fuck him stupid, not the other way around. he usually submitted whenever you pulled the ‘good boy’ card, but today? he wasn’t budging.
and matt? oh, matt was enjoying the show more than anything. all day, you had tried to maneuver him around, acting all big and tough, while he simply just broke a chuckle at your ‘big and strong’ self. he was trying his best to tutor you and study after school, but once again, you were being silly and whiny, insisting you didn’t want to.
but matt knew that you’re just all bark no bite. so why not take advantage of that for a good minute?
“come on, show me what you’ve got, baby,” he smirked, his hands caressing up and down your bare sides while you squirmed from the delicious stretch, letting you do all the hard work. but you just pressed a finger to his lips, shutting him up.
“b-be quiet.. and be a g-good boy f’me,” your voice was weak, coming out as a pathetic whimper while you desperately wanted to take control in the bedroom like usual. but matt wasn’t having any of it.
and while you desperately tried to shut him up, you could feel your pussy drooling around his cock, clenching and squeezing him. at this point, the only person you were teasing was yourself. “n-now just.. just let me do it, puppy,” you whined, letting your finger slip from his lips to rest on his chest once more, steadying yourself as you started to rock your hips back and forth.
“f-fuck.. you’re.. so big,” you moaned pathetically, glaring at him when he let a smile grow on his lips again, squeezing your eyes shut both to ignore the look on his face, but also in pure pleasure.
weakly, you started raising and lowering your hips, letting his fat cock nudge that sweet spot deep within you, allowing pornographic moans to carelessly spill from your lips. “yeah, is it that good, huh? y’look so adorable, all dumb on my big cock, aren’t you?” he teased, watching the way your tits bounced ever so slightly from your slow pace.
his words went in through one ear and out through the other—because he was completely right. the weak and slow bouncing you were doing on his dick made your mind fog into one cloud, nothing but the feeling of him sheathed deep inside of your slick pussy going through your mind. matt kept his hands on your hips, but he didn’t help you at all. he just watched where your two bodies connected, enjoying the sight of your wet hole taking all of him while occasionally letting out a quiet groan.
“c’mon, baby. s’that all you got for me?” he teased, playfully squeezing your hips, making you yelp and open your droopy eyes to meet his. “matt, be quiet! y-you’re being.. bad,” oh, his heart was melting at your desperate and whiny voice, along with your desperate bouncing on his dick. he couldn’t help it, you looked so adorable.
yeah, he could tell your mind was one big haze, but he could also tell you wanted, no, needed more. the pitiful, little whimpers, your nails leaving crescent-shaped marks on his chest, and the dull bounces. no, he had enough.
in a quick move, he heisted you off of him by your waist, flipping you over so he was hovering over you, one hand beside your head, the other one spreading your knees apart. “yeah, i’ve had enough of your little antics, bunny. gonna be a good girl for me?” he mocked your previous words, and with a yelp from you, he slowly stuffed his cock back into you, a loud and carefree moan leaving your parted, pretty lips.
before long, he was pounding into you, whines and moans spilling from your mouth. “matt- you’re, you’re being.. sss..such a bad boy,” you slurred your words, head thrown back against the pillow behind you when he thrusted harder into your gummy walls, eliciting a lewd squelching noise.
“yeah? y’think?” he asked rhetorically, knowing you were far too gone to answer, let alone register his words. “i think that you’re enjoying this, don’t you? such a dumb brat. you’re going all stupid on my cock… so, so wet f’me,” he let out a choked chuckle, a sharp groan leaving his lips. “your pretty pussy squeezing me so fuckin’ good..” you wailed on a moan, your nails digging into his biceps while he continued plowing into your soaked walls.
“fuck! matt, i’m- i’m gonna cum, don’t stop!” you whimpered, eyes pinched shut while he gently ran his knuckles over your cheek. “good girl.. just keep on squeezing me, baby. you’re being so, so good..” he groaned, momentarily letting his thrusts slow, both hands sliding up the back of your thighs, grabbing the back of your knees to press them down to your chest. the new position only allowed him to push harder into your drooling cunt, his fat tip already brushing against your cervix.
he nearly goddamn spilled his cum into you when he saw the way your lower tummy was bulging, carefully brushing his fingers over the imprint, before returning the hand to your knee. he watched as he slowly pulled back, almost all the way out, before pushing his cock back in, his eyes following the bulge in your tummy. fuck, he was enjoying the sight of his dick disappearing into you.
“you take me so well.. y’like that?” he chuckled dryly when he saw the way your lips parted into an o-shape, brows knitting up in pure ecstasy. “god, you look cute. acting all tough, while getting your brains fucked out.. not so tough now, are you?” he quietly mumbled, picking up the speed of his hips, until he was back to ram into your sloppy cunt. though your mind was telling you to snap back at him in that bratty tone you had, you just couldn’t get yourself to it—maybe you were too dumb on his dick.
“g-g’nna cum! matt-“ you blabbered, your moans only growing in volume and pitch when his cock continued hitting that spot inside of you, the wet and lewd noises from your pussy only adding to the overwhelming sensation. “come on, pretty. i know you can do it, cum on my big cock,” he husked, a low moan followed by his words, his pelvis brushing perfectly against your swollen bud.
before you knew any better, you were releasing all around him, loud and pathetic moans coming from your parted lips, still stuck in an o-shape. your thighs were aching, eyes fluttered shut when he continued to thrust into your dripping hole, listening to the sinful squelching.
“s’too much- matt…” you whined, eyes fluttering open for a moment to look up at him with pleading eyes. his thrust stilled for a second, allowing you to catch his breath while he leaned down to peck your forehead.
and just as you thought he was gonna pull out, he started plunging back into your sensitive pussy, a squeal leaving your lips. “shh, baby- be quiet f’me.. i’m not done with you yet,” his voice was wicked, twisted with need. he slowly let go of one of your legs, his hand slipping over your pretty lips to muffle your whines and whimpers, the other hand resting across your stomach to feel his cock inside of you.
“since you wanted to act all tough.. how does it feel now? me being all tough on you?” his words were mean, but his tone wasn’t twisted with malice, continuing to pump into your overstimulated cunt. he could tell you were close from the way you were clamping around him, his hand snaking down to gently pinch your clit between his fingers, your back arching.
you felt that same tightening in your lower tummy like moments prior, attempting to warn him—but it was hard, from the way his hand clamped over your pretty lips. the continuous thrusts only made it harder to hold back, and soon after, you were gushing around him, knees starting to tremble while your moans we’re muffled by his palm. though you desperately wanted to catch your breath for a second, his following words only made you want to do it all over again.
“fuck, would you look at that.. soaking the fuckin’ sheets for me, huh?” he cooed, his thrusts turning sloppy when his eyes flickering down to watch your soaked cunt take all of him, flickering back up to your lidded eyes while he rubbed lazy circles on your bud.
“yeah, nah.. i’m nowhere done with you, angel,”
𝜗𝜚˚࿔ notes: this one's filthyyy... i neeeeeeddd a nerd in my lifeeeee please. matt with glasses matt with glasses matt with glasses i chant
more tutor!matt x bratty!reader here
۶ৎ taglist: @jetaimevous @missmimii @mattscoquette @pearlzier @witchofthehour @elizasturn @loveparqdise @delilahsturniolo @phone4pills @sturnsmia @hearts4werka @cayleeuhithinknott @strnilolover @sturnvxz @lovergirl4gracieabrams @ifwdominicfike @toftomgmf @emely9274 @sturnioloangell @blushsturns @forgottxen @slut4chris888 @marrykisskilled
© ST7RNIOIOSS est. 2023
#🐇་༘࿐ works#tutor!matt x bratty!reader#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets smut
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Caffè Crema
[Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Civilian!FemReader]
Excitement for your morning coffee turns to panic when you bump into a mountainous stranger in a grey hoodie, sporting a skull mask. Sputtered apologies become a conversation in a corner of the café. And he’s so beat up, battered and bruised and scarred that you can’t help the words that leave your lips:
“Do you want to come home with me?”
[5k words ]
Chapter 1 "Caffeine Rush"
Airpods in your ears, music vibrating through your soul, you were ready for the world outside.
Sweet Saturday morning, after a week of work and barely any time for yourself, you’d decided on a treat to start off the weekend. You’d slept in late, phone alarm turned off and sleeping mask tugged on, new sheets prepared the night before because it was so comforting to wake up to the subtle smell of detergent. And once you were finally up, you’d decided fuck it, go out and get a nice steaming hot coffee in a cute paper cup from the local café, listen to Lofi or Lana Del Rey or whatever Spotify had prepared for your daily suggestions on the way, cozy up in a warm winter jacket and a thick scarf. Bless the crisp December air, it nipped at your cheeks and filled your lungs with sharp frosty air. It numbed your nose too and made your eyes water, but those weren’t as positive as the previous two affixes.
The streets were buzzing, a rare sight of the sun peeking through a blanket of grey clouds was shining down on you.
All in all, it was going to be a good day.
You waited impatiently for the light to turn green before crossing the street with a horde of nameless individuals, keeping in tandem with them.
Snow was still a no-show, you could only hope for its appearance at least on Christmas. The holidays without a fluffy coat of white powdering over everything from trees to rooftops just didn’t sit well with you, but at the end of the day, it was up to Mother Nature, not you. Anything but the ice rain you’d had the week prior; you weren’t ready to skate to the store again.
The bell above the café door shakes to life, signaling your entrance. You tuck one airpod in your pocket to listen in on the chatter in the comfy, coffee bean scented establishment, and also because you didn’t want to miss anything the cashier said. You were the anxious type after all, didn’t wanna miss a thing ever.
The heating system is blasting, cranked to the max, steam comes in large waves from behind the oak counter, be it from warm beverages or baked goods fresh from the oven, it lingers long enough for you to get a whiff before being diligently sucked away by the range hood. You unzip the top part of your jacket before getting too stuffy, loosen your scarf and take off your gloves. The staff, donned in their creamy yellow aprons, zip back and forth between tables like worker ants and you step into the line of waiting customers to keep out of their way.
The hardwood floor is licked spotless, looking down, you can almost see your reflection staring back at you. The hum of the large coffee grinder fills your exposed ear and you decide to turn off Spotify for the moment and bask in the café’s ambience instead.
The line moves, it’s almost your turn and you glance up at the display monitors listing off all the choices on the menu for today. Lattes, milkshakes, espressos, you decide on a large cappuccino, leave experimenting with unfamiliar drinks for another day when you’re feeling more courageous.
“Large cappuccino, please.” You say with a polite smile and fish out your wallet from your pocket.
Coffee is cheap here, cheaper than in most cafés and that’s one of the things that keeps you coming back to this place. It’s not easy to afford treats when you live on your own and have to pay the bills and groceries alone. However, you manage, and being able to afford a coffee or takeout once in a while is all the sweeter when knowing you owe nothing to nobody.
You take your cup and nudge your chin for the barista to keep the change before stepping away to the sidebar littered with plastic lids, sugar packets, and cheap wooden teaspoons for stirring your drink. After a brief consideration, you decide not to sweeten your coffee and only take a large lid, pop it over your cup and after zipping your jacket back up, you’re about to turn and walk out.
A walk through the park where you can sit down and enjoy your drink suggestively passes by your mind. Deciding that’s exactly what you will do, you palm through your pocket for your discarded airpods while nursing your paper cup to your chest.
And maybe it was your fault for not paying enough attention because you were buzzed to have a nice relaxing weekend. Or that you’d already achieved your first goal of the day and you were about to have a nice vibey stroll while hurrying to stuff your ears with music before you left the café. Maybe you’d jinxed your Saturday by confidently thinking it would be a swell time and nothing wrong would happen for once.
You should have known better. You should have suspected something would go wrong.
Something always goes wrong.
You whirl around with the intent of being on your way, expecting the glass doors to be in view, but they aren’t. A mountain of flesh and muscle stands before you. And your reaction time is too slow to save yourself or your coffee.
You jump, your hand flinches and the paper cup goes flying, a gasp upon your lips so loud it turns heads. You can only watch in horror as it makes contact with a wide chest clad in a grey hoodie, the lid pops off from the force of the impact and the hot contents inside go in every direction.
“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my freaking God.”
One hand goes up to cover your agape mouth while the other clutches at the zipper of your jacket as panic crawls up your neck and prickles your scalp.
The worst part is that your coffee wasn’t the only casualty. The poor guy had dropped his beverage to pull his hoodie off his chest the moment your scalding beverage had soaked it.
There was steam coming off it. It was boiling and you’d spilled it on him.
You wanted to die.
And he’s fucking terrifying too. Easily two heads over you and built like a truck. The intricate skull mask obscures the lower half of his face and you can’t discern if he’s absolutely pissed or just mildly uncomfortable with the large stain plastered on his top.
His eyes are sharp, trained on his ruined hoodie, crow’s feet crinkled, and you’re grateful they’re not directed at you because you were a step away from breaking down on the spot.
A stone lodged itself in your throat.
If he didn’t curse you to oblivion, he’d either break you in half, or worse, sue you.
You can’t get fucking sued. You don’t have the money to get sued.
So much for having a good day…
“Oh my God, I’m sorry.” You sputter out and grab a handful of paper towels from the counter. You’re glancing up at him every now and again for fear of his patience running out. “I’m so so sorry.”
Shaky hands are tapping away at his top, soaking in the liquid as best you can while trying to keep from breaking down. Your tongue is arrested between your teeth, bitten down on hard in a self-soothing attempt. Your fingertips are stained with coffee because there‘s so much of it that it’s turning the paper towels to mush. You couldn’t care less about that or that you were practically sweating bullets under your jacket.
All you hoped for was that you hadn’t caused the poor guy a burn.
“ ‘s okay.” He murmurs in a thick British accent while watching you fuss over him with growing anxiety. The jitter in your movements would be almost comical if not for you practically hyperventilating on him.
“Excuse me, are you alright?”
“No.” You whine, before you can stifle your voice to normalcy, and turn to the cashier peeking from behind the counter with watery eyes and a deeply carved frown. “No. I’m so sorry, we spilled our drinks. I mean, I spilled - ” You take in a breath to compose yourself and brush a hand over your forehead, shoulders slumping. You’re giving your best apologetic expression, practically mourning over the mess you’d made at your feet and of the man looming next to you.“ – I’m sorry. I can clean it up if you have a mop.”
“Oh, it’s no problem, miss. We’ll mop it up.” The cashier replies, bless her, and signals for one of the waiters to fetch the cleaning supplies. The friendly smile never wavers from her balmed lips; neither does the caffeinated twinkle in her eyes.
She’s most likely seen this sort of thing plenty of times, but for you, it’s a first and it’s your fault to top it off. It’s not an easy pill to swallow and despite the atmosphere being anything but hostile, you can’t help but still feel guilty.
Of course, this had to happen to you of all people. You weren’t allowed a single day of peace and tranquility.
With the main cause of disturbance taken care of, you turn back to your victim, who’s joined you in trying to dry off his hoodie. Your stomach churns at the sight, and you’re afraid to look around in case all eyes are on you two. You can’t bear the scrutiny, even though most people have probably resumed their dwellings by now.
“Are you okay? Does it hurt? I’m so sorry, sir.” You ask and reach for more paper towels, pressing them against his chest more so to show you’re very apologetic and trying to fix the situation rather than actually fixing it because most of the coffee has already come out.
You glance up at him after mustering up the courage, curious as to what awaited you next. He returns your gaze with one of indifference or calmness, you can’t tell, blinks at you slowly, as if he’s just now taking your flustered form for the first time, then he speaks, more clearly this time.
“It’s fine.”
A server arrives with a mop in hand and you both step away from the mess to let them clean it up. You take the lead unintentionally and guide the stranger towards one of the vacant tables in the corner of the café, away from prying stares.
You pick the chair next to the wall that has a large ficus partially looming over the seat. Maybe with enough luck, you can disappear inside it.
Finally, unzipping your jacket because you’re about to faint from the stuffiness, you lay it on the cushioned backrest of the chair and pat it down to make sure you’d not accidentally dropped any of your belongings during the accident. You tug at your sweater to air out the thin sheen of nervous sweat that’s formed over your skin, brush off the strands of hair that have come to stick to your face and take off your scarf.
The stranger sits on the opposite chair, paper towel still to his chest and sucking out any leftover residue. The stain won’t leave your vision no matter how hard you try to rip the two separate. It’s the worry gnawing at your gut that keeps you rooted to your spot, wanting to approach but too afraid to do so.
But so far he’s been a nice guy, hasn’t said one single bad word to you.
Your mind reels with how red and irritated his skin must be, praying it hadn’t blistered up already. You have half a mind to ask him to take off his hoodie so you can take a look.
A fresh wave of panic wraps its dainty fingers around your neck in squeezes, sends needles to prick over random places on your body.
And all this time, you’ve been sputtering out apologies like a broken record, his dismissal of your regret not even reaching your ears let alone registering.
��Should I call an ambulance? Oh my God, I’ve never had to call an ambulance in my life…” You ask, mumbling the last part to yourself as the realization hits you square in the face. For a brief moment, you forget how to dial the emergency line because you’ve never had to use that number before. “I’m sorry, sir – I – I didn’t mean – ”
You continue to blabber while searching your jacket pocket for your phone. The guy might have said nothing at your suggestion, but you wanted to be safe and have your phone at the ready anyway. And you’re too preoccupied going ballistic with panic in your own little world to hear him repeatedly tell you that everything is fine and you’ve done no big deal, he doesn’t need an ambulance and that he’s fine.
“Hey!” He grabs the crux of your elbow and pulls you before him, a large knee on either side of your thighs. A startled noise crawls up your throat but you make no move to step away. You’re staring at him as your hands disappear inside his and he jerks them slightly, his voice lowering now that he’s caught your attention finally. “Relax. It’s alright. Happens.” His comfort is rough. His voice gruff and sounding more like a scold than anything. He shakes you a bit too hard, not used to handling something as delicate as you, and pulls you down enough to make solid eye contact. “Alright?”
You nod and avert your gaze away, soggy paper towels left in a pile on the table making your fingers twitch with the need to do more. Apologies simply aren’t enough, not when he’d probably need to apply ointment on his chest for a few days after your little fiasco.
Why did have to be such a hot mess all the time?
“At least…Let me buy you another drink. On me? It’ll make me feel better.” The frown is still tugging on your lips as you speak, shyly looking at him from under your lashes. “Please?”
He sighs softly at your relentlessness and shrugs before letting your hands slip from him, having kept them in his grasp for longer than he should.
“Sure.”
He leans back in his chair and readjusts both his hood and the cap poking beneath it before resting his elbows on the table.
“What did you order?” You question while fetching your wallet.
The innocent look you toss him has him forcing himself to stop staring at you like a creep. He clears his throat and rubs over his tired eyes tenderly before answering.
“Black tea with milk.”
And so you reorder your cappuccino, get him his tea and decide that a simple butter croissant as an apology is enough for the moment. Every time you turn around to glance at him, nervous that he’d simply slip away from your overbearing presence, he catches your stare without fail. Heat gathers around your ears and your lips purse unintentionally every single time and you quickly turn back to the cashier, pretending you hadn’t just been discovered ogling him.
The chair looks too small to encompass his hulking frame comfortably, the table is no different, but you guess he’s used to it by now. A man of his stature isn’t a common occurrence here. Poor thing probably has to bow to enter through most doorways and have his shirts custom-made with how wide his shoulders were. If he wore shirts at all that is.
He looks like he’s brooding when you return with the order, fingers linked together and thumbs dancing around each other.
You set the tea by his side, note the callouses and scarring around his knuckles, the roughness of his skin. Your first thought is that he’s a construction worker, it would explain his size, the biceps that are as big as your head and straining against the stitches of his hoodie, the casual clothes, and the dark circles under his eyes that make it easy for anyone to guess that he doesn’t rest enough. But then he pulls his mask down and lets it rest under his chin as he takes a prolonged sip from his drink. You note the crookedly mended nose after a trauma so potent it made your eyes water at the thought of what pain he’d endured. There’s a gash running along his thin lips, multiple ones that stand out from the light stubble peppering the lower part of his face, deep ones, ones that you guessed had needed stitches and took forever to properly heal.
Now you’re not so sure he’s a construction worker.
“So what do you do for a living?” It rolls off your tongue before you can stop it. You laugh nervously and raise a hand in a soothing motion before he even has a chance to answer. “You don’t have to tell if you’re not comfortable. I’m just curious.”
The mug of tea pauses before his lips and he gives you a skeptical look.
“Military.”
“Oh.” You blurt out and awkwardly take a sip from your coffee, nearly choking at how hot it is.
And that’s precisely the answer Ghost expected. It was a big turnoff for many people when they learned his career path, mostly because the news only displayed the bad outcomes of his work and never the good. He might have saved this entire city a week ago from a bombing and nobody would know.
It came with the territory and he half expected you to think up some lousy explanation as to why you suddenly had to go.
But you aren’t like that at all because of course, you aren’t. Why would it be made easy for him to forget you and move on with his day when you could be sweet and open and give him more reason to burn you into the crevices of his conscience instead? Why would you make an excuse and leave when you could stay and kindle the embers of his humanity and make yourself space to be a permanent memory?
That’s just his typical luck.
“Must be tough.” You muse, absentmindedly taking a napkin and wiping off the milk and tea mustache staining his upper lip, as if tending to a messy toddler. It comes instinctively and you don’t fight it until your fingers are already being poked by his stubble. “But thanks for keeping us normal folk safe.” You give his wide-eyed stare a warm smile, and tilt your head slightly to one side.
You notice the subtle way in which he moves his chin towards your hand, apprehensive of you pulling away. As if he’s fighting his demons to lean into your touch, to rest his cheek against your palm and close his eyes because he hasn’t been offered softness in so long that he doesn’t remember what it feels like anymore.
You don’t mind that his large hand reaches to try and still your wrist, aching for more delicate touches, but stops before coming in contact with your flesh, pulled back by self-deprecating restrain. You almost want to encourage him, he looks visibly altered by your simple gesture, like a dog who’d been beaten all his life and was given a treat for the first time.
“What happened to you, old soldier?” You want to ask gently, pry a little while you cup his face and let him rest on the softness of your palm, close his eyes for a brief moment of respite.
Your heart aches for him.
But then you remember he’s a stranger and the moment shatters.
The smile vanishes from your face, the warmth dissipates and you flinch back.
“Sorry.” You rush to say and crumble up the napkin in your hand before tossing it on the table and trying to brush off the suffocating awkwardness. “You had something there.” You motion to your upper lip before drowning in more coffee, hoping it will ease the discomfort.
Just what the hell had you been thinking?
And he’s not far behind you on that note. The flicker of softness dies in his chocolate browns and the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth stills and dips into neutrality. The exhaustion returns to his features and his gaze flits away from you as he gathers himself back together.
“You should eat tha’ ‘fore it gets cold.”
Your eyes trail to where he’d nudged his chin and you see the butter croissant you’d purchased along with your drinks. You giggle, it turns into a light laugh when his head cocks to the side in confusion because he’s yet to realize you’d gotten it for him.
Because why would he? He’s a soldier, he gets bullets and grenades, not tea and croissants.
Poor creature, sweet scarred sufferer, with so much weight on his shoulders you couldn’t imagine bearing.
“It’s for you.” You push the small plate closer to him and flick your hand for him to dig in, treat himself on your behalf if he won’t do it on his own accord.
“What?” He reels back in his seat slightly at your words, sets down his drink and tenses up. There’s so much disbelief there that it’s almost comical.
It’s like he’d never been treated before.
Maybe he hadn’t been.
Jesus Christ, what if he actually hadn’t been?
“I mean it’s the least I can do after drenching you in coffee.” You say and press the lid of your cup to your lips, hiding the sympathetic smile from view lest he takes it as pity.
You didn’t pity the man, not in the slightest, but from the tired eyes to the worn clothes, sunk-in shoulders and need for anonymity, you guessed he’d not seen much kindness.
It was easily discernable that he wasn’t used to taking care of himself. Coming to a café to get a drink was probably the maximum self-indulgence he’d permit himself.
“Didn’t ‘ave to.” He grumbles out, voice hoarse and cutting off at the end.
“I wanted to.” You say and wave off his meager comment.
Gods, you wanted to bathe him in sugar and softness.
He tugs the plate before him hesitantly, looking over the croissant as if not trusting it or you, then he picks it up. A small bite at first, one of apprehension before the treat melts on his tongue and awakens his taste buds. He finishes it in two mouthfuls, barely chews and you’re inclined to ask if he wants another, you’re ready to feed him the whole bakery stand if he so wishes. But he declines, whether from embarrassment or mistrust, you didn’t know.
You just know he’s hungry.
You give him your name while he’s washing down the croissant with his leftover tea, just throw it out there in the hopes that he’ll give you his. And he does after heaving a sigh.
“Simon.”
“Pretty name.” You note, toss him a friendly smile that’s a silent invitation for him to say more. “Nice to meet you then, Simon.”
But your friendliness doesn’t breach his defenses a second time. He eyes you with an unreadable expression, watches you slurp your coffee while you’re left to wonder if your compliment had been a mistake.
You might have been coming off as too friendly, trying to suck up to him after ruining his top and that was the reason why you were so nice. Or maybe he thought that there was a hidden agenda behind your acts, that you’d want something in return for your kindness and that’s why he kept his guard up.
Action without a need for reciprocation didn’t exist in his world. Nobody was stupidly selfless enough to just give and not want anything in return. But you were right there, proving him wrong and he wasn’t sure that fact was a fact anymore.
Throughout his internal debate, you’re doing your best to remain casual but it’s difficult with those dark orbs boring into your soul. It’s even more difficult when the silence settles, so you decide to ramble and keep the spirits up until he feels comfortable enough to join.
It might come off as annoying, but you’re sure he’ll stop you if you’re becoming too much to handle.
You tell him about your job, a brief summary of how rough your week had been that that was the reason why you’d come here this morning to treat yourself. You tell him you’re clumsier than you’d like to admit, that you can’t imagine drinking tea first thing in the morning. You tell him that you’d love to have a pet one day, but your landlord doesn’t permit any, ask him if he has pets or would want any. Then you ask if he’s more a cat or a dog person.
And throughout the entire time, he’s staring at you with this undigestible look and you have no idea what to make of it.
The caffeine pumping in your veins helps keep your monologue going until finally he speaks up.
“Bothering you?”
“What?” You spit out, cease your rambling and scrunch your brows at him in confusion.
“The face.” He says, motioning towards his partly obscured face like it’s so obvious. “Ain’t a pretty mug to look at.”
You blink at him silently, at a loss for words at his not-so-kind statement. Your mouth parts, struggling to form a coherent reply because you’re absolutely thunderstruck that he thinks so lowly of you as to believe you’d be affected by such a thing.
Then again, he doesn’t know you, and neither do you him.
But the fact that he’s polite enough to ask while already anticipating the answer tells you that he might have had this conversation one too many times already. Or maybe he hadn’t, maybe the mean comments and ugly remarks were all in his head and he hid his face to stifle those rather than hide from other people.
You don’t know which alternative is sadder.
“No! Not at all.” You say slowly, accenting every word that comes out of your mouth, with eyes trained on his and refusing to blink in case you missed anything. “You’re handsome, really.” You dare to reach out for him and rest your hand atop his, gentle and ready to pull back in case his features portrayed any hint of discomfort with your actions. “Plus your scars mean you put yourself before me to keep me safe, right? Can’t judge you for that.”
Now he’s the one left speechless.
Wordlessly, he twists his wrist, rolls his hand around and slowly unclenches his fingers to let yours through. And your hand is so soft and warm when it slips over his mauled palm, even the skin is a stark contrast because yours is so smooth, spotless, perfect, compared to his.
He runs his large thumb over your knuckles, relishes the tingly feeling it gives him, watches intently because he’s sure that as soon as his eyes move to somewhere else, you’ll vanish and it’ll all be over. Your fingers fall against his wrist where his pulse leisurely beats, only quickening when you shift in your seat because he thinks you’ll pull away.
Manicured nails trace over the scars poking from beneath the sleeve of his hoodie and he shivers, the hairs on his arms rising. He lets you tug the sleeve back, wanting to know how far the violent marks go. Soon enough black and grey ink peeks from under the fabric and a ghost of a smile tugs at his lips at how delighted you seem.
“Oh, I love tattoos…” You hum while tracing the tips of your fingers over it.
“Got any?” He asks absentmindedly, almost mechanically as all his attention is focused on the little hand exploring his own.
“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” You giggle, eyes closing briefly in delight as you bask in the fuzzy atmosphere.
He bites his tongue at that, decides now isn’t the time for flirty remarks, bids you too esteemed to fall for a sleazy comeback that might result in him naked in your bed. No, you were made to be courted, won over with effort and flowers and all the things he hasn’t bothered with in the past.
You were the type of woman that he avoided for fear of messing things up, someone who deserved better than him and he wasn’t ashamed of admitting that. Yet here you were, practically thrust in his arms by chance.
“Do you want another tea?” You ask because his drink is gone and what’s left at the bottom of your cup is two sips at most. And you don’t end this to end, you don’t want him to leave just yet.
“I’m good.” He answers and retracts his arm before standing. “Gonna ‘ave a smoke outside. Cheers for the tea.”
It’s not a goodbye, but it still makes your heart ache and your mind switches to turbo mode to try and think of something.
Your next question doesn’t come from a place of desire or lust. You’ve no intent of trying to get the battered soldier into your bed and use him for selfish pleasure. You’d never let yourself be so cruel.
“Do you want to come home with me?”
You ask because to you, he’s a stray in need of a home, someone to take care of him a little and nurse him back into a better shape before his next big military mission. It’s naïve, stupid really, to think a grown man such as himself can’t take care of himself.
But the way he looks tells you a sad story and you’d spoken before thinking. Now you’re left with a hot face and a fluttering stomach as he stares at you over his shoulder with something akin to surprise.
“I mean…for lunch, sometime. My treat of course.” You say next, trying to salvage the moment before it got too awkward and you were forced to go to the toilets and hyperventilate while beating yourself up internally. “You don’t have to – ”
“ – Yeah.”
And you swear you saw his eyes squint with a smile hidden somewhere behind the bulk of his shoulder.
Chapter 2 >>>
Masterlist
#x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost fanfiction#ghost cod#ghost x reader#cod x reader#cod fanfic#cod mw2
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Day twenty-three of “Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it” behind the cut. (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“I realize I am not letting this one go, but what do you think, are you more into the barbell look or should we put a ring on it?” Bernard muses, giving both his nipples a meaningful pinch as he does, and then a tight little twist. Kon isn’t actually sure if it’s more embarrassing to have someone pay so much attention to a part of his body that most of his other partners haven't, or if it’s more embarrassing how affected he is by the attention. How affected he is by the idea, even.
“Told you I was the kept boy type, man, c’mon,” he says, trying for a laugh as he says it, and Bernard grins at him and cups his pecs and pushes them up a little bit again. Kon tightens his grip on his ass like–a reflex, maybe, or maybe more like a response–and lifts his cheeks a little bit more too. Bernard probably doesn’t, like, see that or anything, but–but it’s kind of embarrassing to realize, and he knows, like–obviously Tim saw, but since he’s straight behind him maybe he didn’t realize it was, like–like why he . . .
“Yeah, so what if we kept you?” Bernard asks, his grin turning sly, and Kon stops overthinking because he is suddenly literally just incapable of thinking. That–that is–
It doesn’t help that he heard Tim’s heartbeat accelerate when Bernard said that.
“Just saying, libido like yours, you’d do better if you were doing the kept boy thing for a couple,” Bernard mentions casually, since it’s apparently blatantly obvious that Kon is likelier to fall off his dick and also the bed than string together a coherent reply right now. “Or, you know, just getting regularly gangbanged by an entire superhero team, but that seems harder to arrange on the daily, you know? Like, more a special occasions kind of thing.”
“I–you–” Kon attempts, face blushing and gut burning as his hips stutter, and Bernard just keeps up the light, easy chatter like he’s not literally on the guy's dick right now.
“Like normally I’d suggest the Birds of Prey or just any Amazon expats, obviously, but right now I guess you’d be more into . . . I dunno, Young Justice’s always seemed pretty femme-heavy and I feel like Tim would have some weird feelings about letting Batman Inc borrow you, so maybe see about meeting yourself a few nice Titans?” Bernard suggests, squeezing his pecs again; rubbing and massaging at the muscle for a few moments. Kon is pretty sure he’d be boiling in the literal vacuum of space, hot as he suddenly feels. “Or maybe check if anybody in the Green Lantern Corps has some job-related stress to work out? Or like, what’re the Outsiders up to these days, actually, that’s also–”
“Please,” Kon half-chokes, not even sure what he’s asking for, and Bernard takes his hands off his chest to wrap an arm around his waist and tug him in closer against himself, which isn’t even something the guy’s actually physically capable of doing but also isn’t something Kon is any kind of capable of not letting him do, and then wraps his other arm up around his neck to grip the back of it, and Kon somehow ends up less riding the other and more just–just rocking a little bit in his lap, pulled down fully onto his cock and just–just full of it. All of it. Just–all of it, while Bernard coaxes him into just–just barely rolling their hips together over and over and . . .
“How’s that, boy?” Bernard asks, scruffing the back of his neck again. “Comfy?”
Five seconds before the first time Bernard fucked him Kon would absolutely not have had any concept of having a dude’s entire dick up his ass be something that could count as “comfy”, but right now . . .
“Don’t pull out,” he half-pleads, half just begs, and Bernard tugs his head down just enough to let him press a kiss against his temple and squeezes the arm around his waist again; rolls his hips up again. Kon stifles a whimper.
“Naw, not gonna,” Bernard promises. “Not ‘til you’ve come again, at least.”
“Not even then,” Kon half-mumbles, feeling a little bit–dizzier, kind of, every time Bernard’s nails scritch the back of his neck; slumping down heavier into him without really meaning to or anything. “Please? Please just lemme keep it a little longer? Feels so–feels so good, makes me feel like you want me.”
“Aw, of course I want you, boy,” Bernard coos, and then just starts petting him outright. “You’re super cute. Super fun to pet-sit, too. And I already told you you could cuddle my cock if you wanted, didn’t I?”
“Wanna,” Kon pleads, feeling all warm and melty and heavy and barely remembering to roll his hips in counter to Bernard’s; barely remembering to keep his hands on his ass where the other put them. “Wanna–lemme cuddle it, lemme cuddle you, I’ll be a good boy, promise, promise, promise–”
“‘Course you will, boy,” Bernard hums, rubbing a flat palm up the underside of his fade. “Robin told you to be, didn’t he?”
Kon melts.
#timberkon#konbern#timkon#timbern#kon el#conner kent#bernard dowd#tim drake#superboy#dc robin#wip: think pink#dom/sub
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i don't wanna look at anything else (now that i saw you) PART 2/3
where jamie seems to remember everything, and you're just trying to navigate a stitch on your crochet flower (jamie tartt x fem!reader)
part one
A/N: here's part two!!!!! link what yall think, im so grateful for the feedback of the first part, it's super encouraging <33 tysm. also this is NOT proofread oops
word count: 4.5k
When you arrive back inside your home, you’re heavy-breathing with a heartbeat erratic enough for your heart to pop out of your chest. You place your keys down, reaching into your jean pocket for your phone, placing the first call you can manage to muster up.
Stevie is over within minutes, you think you might’ve heard her light jogging over to your house.
Her heavy pants echo the room as she tries to muster up the words. “I just got back from work, and I fucking ran! Tell me the emergency immediately.”
“I don’t even know where to begin!” you say. “I mean, I was trying to make some creamy vegetable soup, but I didn’t even get to chop the tomatoes, Stevie! The fucking tomatoes! I—“
“Okay, begin by getting the point, babe." She walks to your kitchen, you following close behind. It doesn’t come to a surprise that she opens your refrigerator, most likely rummaging for the cucumbers and your chickpea hummus. “I love you, but if this is dire, I’m gonna need to know now.”
You gather your thoughts as Stevie begins to look through your drawers for a knife. How do you even say it simply? “Jamie Tartt thinks I’m his girlfriend.”
Stevie drops the knife.
In any other situation, you would scold her for doing something close to a hazard in the kitchen. But you understand her actions completely. If you were holding a flower pot when finding out this information, you’d drop that shit, too.
“Continue before I absolutely freak the fuck out.”
That’s when you tell her about the call and the trip to the hospital. The words are coming out of your mouth at the speed of light, you’re surprised Stevie is managing to keep up. But she does, quietly chopping her cucumbers and dipping a few into the hummus. This is a more collected look than when she dropped the knife, but you’re sure the gears are turning in her head just as much as they are for you currently.
“I just left his house and I told him I’d be back with—soup!”
You don’t wait to turn the stove back on, shuffling Stevie away from the center of the counter while you go back to cooking.
She says your name slowly, eyes wide. “This is some romcom-movie-shit, babe.”
You fight a roll of your eyes. “This is real life!” you scold. “And the poor boy is concussed, probably mental!”
“Mental for thinking he’s dating you? Have you seen yourself? You’re fucking magnificent.”
“Thanks,” you drawl, not in the mood for a compliment. “But that doesn’t change the fact that he’s just a bit bonkers right now, and I don’t know what to do!” You stir the pot stressfully, watching the ingredients mix around the broth. You’ve put a bit more ingredients, and added more broth to make sure that the serving is good for two, and for any leftovers Jamie may want. You think you’ll have enough to send Steve home with, as well. “The doctor said not to startle him, but I’m pretty fucking startled. So I don’t know how to not startle him when I’m not in the right state of mind! This feels so stupid.”
“I think you should tell him the truth,” says Stevie. She’s right behind your shoulder, peering over at the pot. She takes a large whiff, and hums. “You making this for him?”
“And for you.” And me!
“Ah,” she says. “I see. A little compensation so I don’t out you to the press, yeah? Nice thinking!”
“Not funny,” you drawl. It was never a thought that crossed your mind that Stevie would go out, telling people of your current entanglement with Jamie. She’s an editor for a magazine company, and she has a problem telling you all the tips she gets about local celebrities, always trusting you not to tell anyone anything. You don’t doubt that she’ll do the same for you. “So I should tell him the truth, then?” you ask, getting back to the main point of Stevie’s visit.
“Mhm,” she replies. “Probably not today though, don’t you think? He’s overwhelmed enough as it is, he’s probably gonna be benched in Richmond’s next couple matches. That sad fuck is probably groveling as we speak. And he can’t even drink to cure the pain! … That’s how concussions work, right?” She shakes her head. “Anyway, don’t do it today. If I were you, I’d play it by ear, you know?”
You nod, having heard all of this from the doctor.
"And one more thing."
Stevie hums in questionn
“… He may have tried to kiss me.”
You think everyone in the neighborhood heard Stevie’s screech when she belts your name.
It’s later in the day when you ring Jamie’s doorbell. You’d successfully shooed Stevie out of your house, convincing her that she does not need to spy on you from your kitchen window in case Jamie tries to make a move (“I’ll be there in two seconds, ready to make that concussion worse. Just say the word.”). And now you have the soup in two tupperware containers, as well some carrots and dip in your tote bag because that’s what Jamie originally always used you for, right? The familiarity will hopefully make him happy.
When he opens the door, you’re not surprised to see all the lights are closed, as well as his curtains shut (so much for Stevie spying). The only thing you see that’s shedding artificial light is the lamp by his staircase, but even that looks as dim as it can be.
“Hey, love,” he says groggily, a certain warmth to it that makes the nickname seem more intimate. He rubs his eyes as he moves to create room for you to come inside. “Sorry I took so long. Took a bit of a nap.”
“Oh,” you frown, concern taking over the nerves of his sudden pet names, “I’m sorry for waking you. I can just drop these off and head out, if you’d prefer?”
Jamie shakes his head. “Don’t be silly. Come in.”
You enter apprehensively, though you’re trying your best to conceal it. This is the second time ever that you are in Jamie’s home. And it’s only been a day. The strangeness of that fact lingers in the air as you close the door behind you.
You trail behind him toward the kitchen, your footsteps quiet against the hardwood floors. Various football plaques litter the walls, as well as many, many photos of Richmond’s team.
“Why don’t you go sit down?” you say as you simultaneously take in his home. “I can prepare these myself and bring them to you.”
“Rubbish," scoffs Jamie, "I’m still mobile, and I’m not leaving my girlfriend to take care of me like you’re some sort of maid. I’m not bedridden.”
The word girlfriend, once again, catches you off guard, and your heart does a funny little stutter. You push it aside. “I just don’t want you to exert yourself,” you reason, brows furrowed. “You’re concussed, Jamie.”
“Who cares about that?” he jokes, waving off your concerns.
Your jaw clenches. You want to say I care. Because this concussion is affecting you more than you fucking know. But you bite your tongue, and instead ask him where he keeps his bowls and silverware.
Minutes later, Jamie and yourself are sitting on his couch. You took the liberty of sitting on the opposite end of his sofa, taking up as little space as possible. You’ve tucked yourself into the far corner, legs curled up slightly, trying to occupy as little room as possible. Jamie, on the other hand, lounges comfortably, his socked feet propped on the edge of the coffee table, though his posture is slightly more relaxed than it was earlier. You’d ask Jamie if it would be okay to crochet while you’re here, mainly so you can have something to do instead of sitting there awkward with today’s events before you.
So, soup now resting on Jamie’s coffee table (you stop every few moments to take a bite), you’re intent on the rose petal you’re making with your yarn. Jamie alternates between eating his soup and watching you, his gaze unashamedly direct, though there’s a softness to it that makes your heart flutter despite yourself.
To anyone else, the scene might look endearingly domestic: the two of you sharing a quiet moment in the living room, him eating soup, you crocheting, the occasional exchange of lighthearted banter. But there’s an underlying element to it. You don’t want to tip-toe around Jamie, because you’re supposed to be acting natural and all, but it’s hard.
“You’re the most thoughtful thing ever, you know that?” he says, after a minute of silence.
Your hands pause mid-stitch, your eyes staying fixed on the delicate yarn in front of you as you decide how to respond, stomach churning nervously. “A ‘thing’?” you joke lightly, a small smile tugging at your lips. “How very gentlemanly of you.”
“You know what I mean!” chastises Jamie.
Fighting the butterflies in your stomach as his words settle warmly around your heart.
“I do know,” you reply softly, finally glancing up at him. “Why do you say that?”
“The rose you’re knitting—“
“Crocheting.”
“Crocheting. Sorry, love. How many are you making for the old bloke’s grandson?”
The moment you take in Jamie's words, you pause, crochet hook in the air. “What?”
Jamie looks confused. “Mr. Taylor? That his name?”
You shake your head, mind still reeling. “No, I know who you meant. How do you know I’m making this for his grandson?” You don’t recall telling that to Jamie when you initially mentioned what you wanted to do here.
You currently have half of a rose petal done, wanting to make something special for Mr. Taylor grandson—Roman. The young toddler is allergic to flowers, getting all sniffly and itchy when you had brought over a hand-made flower arrangement for the Taylors (it had been their 37th wedding anniversary). But Roman had just kept looking at the flowers with such curiosity, despite his body’s affinity for them. When you had decided to take up crocheting (you wanted to make tiny plant plushies yourself—because why are stuffed plushies with cute faces on them so expensive these days?), one of the first things you learned was to make stuffed flower arrangements, just for when Roman would visit.
How could Jamie possibly know that?
“Because you’re you,” says Jamie. Blush coats over his cheeks lightly when he averts his gaze from hers, hand moving to scratch the back of his head.
“… And," he begins, "one day, I was in me car and I saw you walk over to the Taylors’ house with crochet roses. ‘Made it look like a nice arrangement, too. I wanted to ask you why you had fake flowers when you have fucking millions just in your front yard. Didn’t know if that’d sound weird, though, so…” he trails off, his words getting quieter, “So, I may have asked Mr. Taylor instead.”
You try to recall the memory Jamie spoke of. You do recall the last time you had headed over to the Taylors with the signature bouquet. Jamie had been at the front of his house, getting into his car. Of course she had noticed him immediately, spotting him just by her peripheral vision, but she hadn’t decided to spare him a look until she crossed the street to look back, but he had been preoccupied. She didn’t even think he saw her that day.
That day had been nearly three months ago.
Your mouth falls open. Jamie had noticed and asked about you that long ago?
Jamie glances at you nervously, mistaking your silence for something more negative. “I’m not some creep or anything, promise! I just—I dunno—I was curious! You’re always doing stuff like that.”
You shake your head. “I just never knew you noticed,” you mumble, your nerves growing. Even now, he remembers. You wish you knew what that meant for you two; you wish that the suspicions and hopes in your brain are true. “Or asked.”
Jamie’s cockiness kicks back in at your flustered nerves. “Like I said, I’ve always noticed you. And now I get to be the luckiest guy.”
Your eyes meet his. For a moment, you let yourself pretend. Pretend that this is real—that this is the relationship you and Jamie have built together. That you’re a couple, and this is just one of those moments you get to stumble upon—a sweet realization that Jamie had liked you long before either of you dared to admit it.
You let yourself hold on to the fantasy, just for a moment.
It has to be just a moment... you think if you stare any longer at Jamie your body is going to take over and grab him for a kiss, just to know what it may feel like. You just know you shouldn’t.
“Four,” you say softly. “I’m making four for Roman.” You turn back to the stitch you had laid on your lap, trying to get out of your frenzie and into your zone.
Jamie smiles, eyes still twinkling. “That’s his name? Roman?”
You hum. “He’s about to turn four. And he’s just the most adorable kid I’ve seen.”
“I’m being rude, aren’t I?" replies Jamie, "Prodding.”
Your head snaps up. “What? No.” You uncomfortably shift in your seat to hopefully look less odd. “Sorry if I’m being weird. I’m just… zoned out, I guess. Thinking a lot.”
“Yeah?” he says, staring at you intently. “What about?”
“Just… everything about today, I suppose.”
Jamie jokingly smiles. “Yeah, getting a call that your boyfriend got whacked in the head and is now concussed wasn’t really in your daily plan, was it?”
You let out a laugh. “No, it wasn’t.”
“It got in the way of watering radishes, I bet.”
Again, you laugh more, your stomach moving steadily at the action. From the limited conversation you’ve had with him, paired with now, you’ve deduced that Jamie is just a complete pro for lightening up conversations. When your heart races nervously, a quip comes out of his mouth that makes your body go back steady. You don’t even think that this is an individual experience; he seems like he does it a lot. You wonder how that balance comes so perfectly in his life.
“Yeah,” you laugh. “My gardening has to come to a pause today.”
“It’s a shame,” he says, grinning. “Would’ve loved to see you in your cute sunhat, or the giant yellow gloves you always wear.”
Your eyes widen at his words.
Seeing your shock, he adds, “You think I don’t notice these things? I always have.”
You try not to cough up the food you’d just digested. You would like to consider that Jamie is just making things up, but the description of your usual accessories when you’re out tending to your plants remain true. The giant yellow gloves belong to your mom, and there hasn’t been any reason to buy new ones if you’ve already got a pair.
And the sunhat—well, it’s not everyday you’re seen out with it. It’s usually if the sun ever comes out, glaring at your eyes while you try to focus on a task at hand. You’ve probably brought it out maybe a couple of times since Jamie had moved in next to you; none of those times being as of recent.
It’s a shock Jamie can even recall it.
He remembers the little things. I always have.
“Fuck,” he mutters softly. “Have I creeped you out? Don’t mean to sound like a prick, but I thought what I said was pretty fucking cute. But I understand if it’s creepy again. I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
You shake your head. “No, Jamie, I’m not creeped. ‘M kinda just shocked that you notice things like that.”
He shrugs. “It’s hard to not pay attention. You live right beside me. And you’re you. It’s pretty fucking impossible for me not to notice things about you.”
Your heart is back to racing. All of Jamie’s confessions of things he’s noticed can only insinuate that he’s genuinely seen things about you, whether he had gotten hit in the head or not. They’re not fabricated in his mind from his belief that you two are dating. He’s not like Holy shit, do you remember that time we had dinner together? You think if he started recalling specific memories that never happened, you’d check him straight into the nearest mental institution.
But he’s saying things that are so undeniably true; things he’s noticed about your being.
If you aren’t already so conscious and confused of the actual problem at hand, you’d sit here and pretend that he’s yours—just as much as he claims to be. You wish this moment to be real, but it’s not. The sadness and guilt that weighs over you with that fact can overtake any other feeling in this moment.
“Jamie,” you begin, “I need to tell you something.”
You think about Stevie’s advice, to not tell him today. The doctor saying not to overwhelm him. You know they’re right. You don’t want to. The poor bloke is probably already stressed enough as it is. You want to be here for Jamie, to help him get better because even with your limited experience around him, you care very deeply about his wellbeing. And maybe your feelings are skewed by the crush you’ve been harboring on him, but that’s hardly the point anymore.
But how are you supposed to keep this up? Pretending to be someone you’re not, filling a role in his life that isn’t truly yours—it feels wrong, no matter how much you want to help him heal.
You don’t think you’re cut out for pretending.
Jamie looks at you expectantly, a small smile on his face and your heart just breaks.
“Jamie… I don’t know how to say this,” you admit, your throat tightening. “But I’m not your girlfriend.”
For a second, Jamie looks beyond confused. “The fuck? Did we break up?”
“I got the call today,” you explain gently, shrinking down into the sofa with a racing heart. “When I heard you were in the hospital, I was worried—God, I was worried—but I didn’t understand why they called me. And then Roy said… he said we’d been going out.” You bite your lip, carefully choosing your next words. “It made me realize something had gone wrong. That maybe you hit your head and got things mixed up.”
Jamie doesn’t say anything, his brows knitting together as he processes your words.
“I wanted to do what was best for you,” you continue, your voice growing quieter. “Everyone kept telling me not to startle you, not to stress you out. But I can’t keep pretending we’re in a relationship when we’re not. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel honest. “I care about you, Jamie. I care about you getting better. But I can’t pretend, okay? I’m really, really sorry.””
It’s been nearly two days since you’ve seen or heard from Jamie. You’d practically bolted after your admission, your chest tight with guilt and your hands trembling as you no longer felt worthy of being in his home.
You hadn’t looked back, and he hadn’t stopped you.
It’s all you think about as you sit in the kitchen with your morning coffee, trying your best to catch up on the emails about work that have been piling up while you wallow.
Your work is interrupted when the doorbell rings.
You immediately think it’s Stevie; she’s been wanting to see you since you had texted and said that you couldn’t even last the night without telling Jamie the truth. You purposefully left out the parts where Jamie pointed out the crocheting for Roman, and the gloves, and the sunhat, and Jamie just noticing you. God knows Stevie will be the first person to jump up and say he’s in love with you, and you’re not ready for that delusion in your head to be spoken out into the universe.
Especially after Jamie has not spoken to you since. He’s probably freaked out, never wanting to speak to you for as long as he possibly can.
You close your laptop and head to your front door, not even bothering to check who may be on the other end because—duh—it’s Stevie.
Only, it’s not her.
Instead, three boys stand on the opposite end of your door, gaping at you from the moment you lay eyes on them.
They look vaguely familiar to you, and judging but the sweatsuits they’re wearing with the AFC Richmond logo, they’re Jamie’s teammates. You swallow your anxiety and give them a confused look.
“You’re real,” the man in the middle says, tall and broad with a commanding presence..
“Shut up, bruv,” the man to the right elbows the other. “We don’t even know if it’s her. ‘Could be the girl two houses down…”
“Mi amor,” says the final man, eyes light. His warm, melodic voice is unmistakably Spanish, holding up a bottle of wine like a peace offering. “What’s your name?”
You frown, wanting to ask so many questions when a shout intercepts the trio that has lined up at your door.
“Oi!”
They boys all turn, and you manage to peek your head out the door, to see Jamie stomping down the steps of his home, clad in sweats and… cow slippers?
Despite the grumpy set of his face, the sight is almost endearing.
“Jamie!” the trio chorus in unison, like they’ve been caught red-handed.
“You didn’t answer the door,” one of them says, “we figured you’d be at your beautiful lady’s.”
“Don’t mean you can go knocking on doors of people you don’t fucking know,” huffs Jamie, finally reaching them. He doesn’t spare you a glance.
The boys look ashamed. “We’re sorry, bruv,” says the tallest one, voice gruff and guilty. “Dani made Birria tacos, and Colin’s brought fuzzy socks. I just wanted to say sorry for whacking ya.”
Jamie’s eyes soften at his words. He sighs. “Thank you, mate. I appreciate it, I really do. But I stand by what I fuckin’ said. You can’t go knocking at random doors.”
“But it’s not random!” says the boy you’ve deduced to be Colin. For the first time since they’ve knocked, he turns to you in acknowledgement. “It’s lovely to meet you!”
“The flowers are gorgeous,” says Dani, eyes g;azing dutifully at your front lawn. “And we apologize for the interruption.”
Jamie nods at them, like a mother watching over their child at the playground after a petty fight breaks out.
You grin, awkwardness dissolvong. “It's okay. And—I love birria tacos, by the way. Good choice.”
Dani blushes. “I’m sure Jamie wouldn’t mind sharing it with his lady. Wouldn’t you, Jamie?”
Jamie sputters, looking between the boys, and sparing you the first glance since he’s got here. His mouth opens, then closes. Repeatedly.
“Um,” you interject, “I would much rather let Jamie enjoy it. Thank you, though!”
Isaac frowns. “That’s how you’re gonna treat your girl?” he grumbles at Jamie.
“She said it!” argues Jamie. “Not me!”
Isaac shakes his head, muttering something under his breath about no chivalry these days, but he claps Jamie on the shoulder. “Alright, bruv, we’ll get outta your hair. Just make sure you enjoy the tacos. And, uh…” he glances at you with a cheeky grin, “Be nice to your lady, yeah?”
Jamie groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Colin pipes up, “It was lovely meeting you!” His voice is warm and genuine, and he flashes you a smile before jogging after Isaac, who is already halfway down the steps.
Dani lingers a moment longer, holding out the wine bottle to Jamie. “You deserve this,” he says with a knowing smile, his gaze flicking between you and Jamie.
Jamie takes the bottle “Thanks.”
“And don’t worry, we won’t knock on any more random doors. Adiós, mi amigos!” Dani trots after the others.
And then it’s just the two of you.
“‘M really fucking sorry ‘bout them. I didn’t think they’d come knocking at your door when I decided to fucking ignore them.” He stares down at the endearing cow faces at his feet, sighing.
You shrug, a harmless smile tugging at your lips. Jamie looks awfully nervous, which you don’t understand. “Makes sense, honestly. And I don’t mind. Now that you’re here, though, I just wanna ask how you’re doing.”
He looks briefly surprised. “I’m doing alright,” he says eventually.
“Okay, because I never intend to pry, but I’ve just been pretty worried. And—“
“You don’t need to pretend to care.”
The abruptness of Jamie’s cutoff has you wondering whether or not it actually occurred. His frown, however, only solidifies that those words did indeed come from his mouth.
“Excuse me?” you reply, voice sharper than intended.
“Listen, I was a fuckin’ idiot and a borderline creep to you. When you left, I really thought about it and how fucked up that whole day was. I can’t imagine how it made you feel; being put into a position where you had to be in a relationship with me.”
You frown. You wonder now if this is why Jamie has chosen not to speak to you; if his guilt for the situation has kept him from reaching out. You refuse for that to be a reality.
“Jamie, are you serious? I just wanted you to be okay! And that’s still what I want for you.”
His eyes peek up from his slippers to you. “… So you don’t hate me?”
You laugh. “I have no reason to hate you, Jamie.”
“You have every reason to believe that I’m a stalker-creep, by the way!”
You raise an eyebrow. “Do you want me to see you as one?”
“Obviously fucking not!
“Then stop trying to drill it into my head!” you laugh.
Jamie stares at you for a moment, his mouth opening and closing like he wants to argue but can’t find the words. Finally, he lets out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. There’s a flicker of vulnerability in his expression, softened by the small. And, for the first time in days, the tension between you feels like it’s starting to ease.
“If it’s not obvious,” he begins awkwardly, “I like you. A lot.” He laughs at himself. “Enough to reach stalker status. And clearly my fucking fantasies wanted to take over with me fucking head… but I wanted to do it all the right way. ‘Kinda cheated didn’t I?”
For the first time in two days, the churning in your stomach isn’t anxiety, and instead something entirely more manageable. You grin at him, teasing, “Maybe a little.”
He huffs a laugh, the sound a mix of relief and something hopeful. His eyes meet yours, more sure now, though his voice remains gentle when he says, “I want to do it right. All of it. If you’ll let me.”
The way he looks at you—open, expectant, like he’s giving you the choice and trusting you to give the truest response.
Your smile says everything he needs to know.
(You already know Stevie’s going to lose her mind when you tell her.)
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Chris's Little Sister
Can you write something about Josh dating Chris’s younger sister? -anon
Of course I can!! I think one of the best ways to incorporate the reader into the group would actually be through a sibling relationship. And like… brother’s best friend? Now that’s something I live for. I did take some inspiration from Friends, just felt like it fit. Anyways, enjoy some headcanons for this one (already written one story today, and prepping for Christmas, so don’t have that much time).
And yeah, I still got a couple of requests in my inbox, but please bear with me. I do have things to do, but will get to them when I have the time. Enjoy <3
Chris and Josh met in third grade, so no wonder that when Chris brought home this beautiful little guy, you had heart eyes. You didn’t dare to talk to him, even when he initiated the conversation. You hid behind Chris or your mom, just observing them as they played.
As you grew older, you developed more of a friendly relationship, this was your brother’s best friend after all, you weren’t gonna fuck it up. Chris brought you when you went to the Washingtons, and you mainly spent your time with the twins.
Of course, Josh had a soft spot for you. He liked you, felt that he had to protect you, that sort of thing. You didn’t know if it was because you were Chris’s sister or because there was something else beneath. Soon, after a little too much time without Chris, you guys figured things out.
Stolen glances became signals for a retreat to a secluded make out spot. Secret visits, making sure not to wake his sisters as well. Small touches that no one noticed. Everything felt like fireful passion, and keeping it secret made it even more thrilling.
Josh has also made a few suggestive comments to his friend, trying to warm him up to the idea. “No, I’m not home that day” “Is your sister home?” “Why does that matter?” “I can think of a few ways we could entertain ourselves” “You’re not going near my sister, I’ll beat your head off, no joke” “Yeah, yeah… I know”
When the annual winter getaway came, you found yourself with a lot more space and options. You and Josh talked, always away from Chris. I mean, he would actually kill him if he did something. You spent this time being flirty, a few comments here and there, which surprised the bachelor.
That’s when it suddenly happened. You found yourself pressed up against the wall, locking lips with Josh Washington, your brother’s best friend. But you were caught. Hannah stood like a ghost in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth agape. You both knew you had fucked up.
“Hannah!” “Don’t fucking talk to me” “Hannah, please!” “Has this been the drive all along? Being my friend, being with me just to hook up with my brother?”
“You hooked up with Josh?” The colour drains from your face as you hear his voice. Chris, standing there, defeated, looking down on you. Everything is fucked up, everything is bad. “Chris, please hear me out…”
He doesn’t. He marches to Josh’s room, confronting his friend. “What the hell, Josh!”
You run inside, putting yourself in between them. “What’s going on?” Josh whispers to you, confused by the raging blonde. “He knows” “Shit”
“How long has this been going on?” You’re both silent, wondering what the right answer to the question might be. A while, a long time. Maybe he’d go easier on you if you said it was just one time? “Oh my god, and you never told me?” He’s looking down at you, disappointment and full of sorrow.
“Listen Chris…” “Is he forcing you to do anything?” “No!” “Has he manipulated you in any way?” “Absolutely not!”
He’s still defeated, trying to come to terms with it all. “You have many girls head over heels for you. Why, why. Why did it have to be her?”
You wouldn’t admit it, but you were kind of curious as well. Why you, of all people.
“Man, I-I can’t describe it. It just happened. And I’m glad it did. I love her, and we work, we’re good together”
You both turn your attention to Chris again, and you take hold of his hand, rubbing over the knuckles softly. “I’m sorry Chris, but I feel the same about him”
“For goodness sake, it’ll take time for me to digest this” “Of course, we understand” “And you feel safe?” “I do” “And he hasn’t hurt you in any way?” “No”
“That’s a lie” Beth says, standing in the doorway. “What?” “The sounds I’ve heard from his room the last few weeks…”
The relief turns to fear again as your brother rush to tackle your boyfriend.
#until dawn#joshua washington#josh washington#josh washington x reader#josh washington x reader smut#until dawn josh#josh until dawn#chris hartley#christopher hartley#chris until dawn#until dawn x reader#until dawn remaster#until dawn headcanons#until dawn imagines#joshua washington x reader smut#joshua washington smut#joshua washington x reader
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Sir Crocodile x Reader
I'll do a double posting this week cause I'm gonna be working on Christmas (don't ask) Here's something to make y'all a bit better since the last one.
On a professional and generally personal note, he would make a disgusted face if one talked to him about love. Hell, if someone even implied that he maybe loved you he would throw them his hardest glare and if already in a bad mood, probably threaten them.
But now? He wasn't sure what he was feeling. You weren't really.....at your best, he would say. Right now, you were pacing up and down looking frazzled and slightly crazy while he sat on the edge of the bed, watching you. The worst part? You weren't making any damn sense.
"Would you just tell me what's the problem here?" He snapped, losing it slightly.
"Nothing! Just go back to work or whatever! It's fine! There no issue at all!" You yelled back. Your face was deliberately not looking at his, as you just continued to pace back and forth maddeningly.
That's it. He needs to know what the hell is your problem. You weren't looking at him, you weren't making any damn sense, this was eating his brain. He was going to get to the bottom of this.
He grabbed your arm and yanked you to a standstill, making you stand in front of him.
"What is it."
"It's nothing! Just-"
"Just tell me. Now." He bit out.
"Like I said! Its-"
"Dammit woman! Just fucking tell me!" He yelled, finally losing it.
"It's you!" You cried out. Wait. What?
He blinked. His arm didn't lose its grip.
"Explain."
"It's just- you! You have this big thing of y'know your damn ego, cause of your ambition which is like, okay I get it. But at the same time you're dating me. That means that with all of your fancy stuff and your ruthlessness and your big huge dream of wanting to attack and destroy the Navy--which I fully support by the way-"
He watched you ramble, absolutely baffled by what he was hearing. His cigar almost fell out from this, his frustration was also climbing. This blasted woman-
"Cause honestly, fuck the Navy, but, not the point. Look, you have that, and that's a huge part of who you are and what you stand for and your big secretive past that you don't want to tell me and that's fine! Perfectly fine! However the issue comes when-"
"Would you get to the damn point already?!" He burst. His arm tightened around your wrist, face close to yours.
"I love you!" You yelped, staring with wide eyes straight into his purple ones.
He froze. Face dropping into one of quiet shock, with a very cold realization.
"I love you, Crocodile" you said, looking guilty. Guilty? Your free hand went to your hair, pulling, getting tangled, running through it, your eyes full of anxiety.
"I love you and frankly keeping in mind your ego, your ah, ambition and you-which I all love and respect by the way--I just, I just can't help but feel this could go very uh....pear shaped for me"
His hand eased slightly, brows furrowing.
".....Pear shaped?"
"Oh, uh....bad. Things might end up bad for me"
"How?"
"You, well, you could be I dunno, using me or something. Cause you don't love me really. You said it yourself. This is a business transaction." Your voice went quieter as you mumbled, gaze falling lower.
"Look at me"
"-And I know that you don't, so I'm not going to push it since this is fine and I respect your wishes but really! I just really don't like the idea of possibly be led on but dont worry I wont push it okay? You-" Your eyes grew wide as suddenly you were pulled into him, closing the distance. Your face was tucked into his neck, letting you get a whiff of cigar smoke, and expensive cologne.
"You silly little thing" He whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
"You aren't.....completely wrong. But things have changed." He murmured into your hair, limbs holding you tight to him.
You stayed perfectly quiet. Holding your breath, you were stunned. This....this was new. This was new.
"I love you too."
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I don't know who needs to hear this but your dismissal of real peoples experiences of oppression and police brutality in order to justify Caitlyn's actions says more about you than her or any of the writers decisions in Season 2. I wish you would just admit you haven't done jack shit the last 10-15 years about anything that's been happening to marginalized groups around the world and likely never will.
#you dont actually care about equality#you care about being pacified#while also not doing any of the fucking work yourself#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#caitvi#caitlyn arcane#arcane#arcane critical#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 spoilers#vi and caitlyn#caitlyn stans#anti caitvi
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this is your reminder that 99.9% of employers care more about money than you and even if they are kind and fair now they WILL at the end of the day put profits over your well being so absolutely do not sacrifice your life for them.
#and by life i mean time really#do your job to its exact description#do not make things too difficult for your fellow workers#you can even work hard if you want to#but do not undervalue your time or your mental and physical well being#this is a mistake i made in my first job#the stress of that job triggered my (undiagnosed) crohns so bad i was hospitalized twice#and my boss asked me to work from my hospital bed#while also not giving me sick time and not paying me well#in my previous post that coworker has been working there at least 15 years#never caused any problems went above and beyond#was a fucking backbone of the company#and is getting tossed out bc management is fucking moronic#they’ll be fine they’re so great they’ll get a much better job i’m certain#and previous management loved them SO much and did try to take really good care of them to keep them from leaving#but in the end stupid financial decisions will always come before employee we’ll begin#being#so never give too much of yourself to a job and always keep your resume updates#also don’t be afraid to leave nasty reviews on yelp or glassdoor and also maybe key your boss’ car
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.
#controversial slightly radical political take incoming#im so sorry but i cant stand the 'vote blue no matter who' crowd like yall are the reason why we are in this mess in the first place#pushing unpopular centrist genocide supporting candidates and then acting shocked that they lose and blaming liberals not voting-#when republicans would NEVER push a candidate as far left as biden and hillary are right and thats why they keep winning#and acting like committing genocide being a red line to not vote for someone is a bad thing be so fucking serious#they would vote for someone who supported the holocaust in the 40s as long as they called themselves a democrat while doing it#the fucking tactic of vote for our guy because the other guy is ~worse~ instead of giving people something to actually care about#ISNT WORKING OUT SO WELL HUH who would have thought#genuinely that is why bernie made it so far in 2016. because he made people hope that things could even start to change.#and unfortunately trump also did that for his base. and even more unfortunately. the dnc saw that and stomped it out. and then THEY lost.#fear mongering fascism to people watching protesters against genocide getting beaten by cops under the administration youre pushing#isn't exactly that convincing. sorry.#like yeah. we need the majority in the house and senate for sure. but president wise? you cant convince me there is a 'less' evil option#like how dare you even insinuate that after all that has been done in these past nine months tbh#i think its the fucking sugar coating that really pisses me off more than anything#like. you do not have to make biden out to be a good man in any way just to make trump seem like a bad one. thats already established.#youre voting for evil. either way. just accept it. there is no 'less'. trying to absolve yourself from that is what pisses me off.#and 'voting blue no matter who' is what got us all here in the first place. convincing ourselves that here is a less evil in every situatio#sorry. im done now. i just hate seeing all those guilt tripping 'well now you HAVE to vote' posts on my timeline.#politics
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Sigh
what could have been
I should probably put the unlisted video link here so I don't keep torturing myself and reminding myself what could have been from having the video in my watch later
RIP budget - hopefully one day we'll get the canon continuation again://
youtube
#Whyyyyyyyyyy#I just find it funny Halfbrick folk complain about time spent on things and use that as an excuse#Then they casually ignore the work put into this continuation and say they had soooooo more work for the new jj2 series....#Stop kidding yourself seriously 😔#The old series when level 2 started was far superior in humor and goofiness while mixing in casual buildup and gave a look at the character#How I fell in love with Craig and Barry's friendship 💔💔 of them looking after each other and being there (atleast for Craig)#The new series goes too fast and there's no buildup or barely any goofiness in the episodes (referring to all)#Left us on a cliffhanger with Minotaur and then just kept as is like fuck you haha#Like???? What?? What happened? How did Minotaur capture them? How did they escape??#ALSO MIKHAILL??? WE WERE SO CLOSE TO GETTING MORE ON HIM?? (And Minotaur too BUT MIK???)#times like this makes me wish I could do their voices and animate. Best we can do is comic ig but even then 🫠🫠#I hope one day they'll publish the old JJ shorts cause I ain't buying this cheap#too fast paced bs series with the most ridiculous plot#Makes no sense fr
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I actually realized i hate work. Won't be putting any effort into this anymore ♡
#sure whatever#it's funny because when i applied there i really really wanted this job#and it had nothing to do with that one person i got a little overly attached to#and when i started working there it was fine but i think really the only reason i liked it was because of that colleague#and now he's gone there's only annoying things left#also maybe i got too cuddled by him because he's always had my back until now#but i have to try to get things from the design team now and they just straight up ignore me lmao#like. my colleague asked me last week if i could ask them to edit some images which i did and they ignored me for 2 days#then HE sent them a follow up message and surprise surprise the images were there within 30 minutes#now again. he asked me to request some images and then built them into the journal#i request them. i hear nothing back. i send a follow up saying it's kinda important. i get nothing#oh well sorry man. guess you'll have to do that yourself after all (:#(i think it's really nice he's trying to give me so much more responsibility and all but if he's not there to back me up#it's literally not working because Everyone Is Ignoring Me :)))#also two weeks from now I'll be alone in our office because my other colleague who's in the same office as us#has announced she's gonna go share the office with someone else because she's gonna be alone otherwise#lol thanks#also some other shit someone posted in the group chat today which really pissed me off#AND the fact i got ignored AGAIN when i asked for work :) like bitches. i literally just watched netflix on my private laptop#while wiggling the mouse on my work laptop until i got off lmao#i won't go to the office tomorrow either#i was gonna go but i can't do shit there if i get ignored again#at least at home i can do whatever i want when they decide i should just get money for wasting my time ♡#i might actually just not work tomorrow#I'll probably log in just to see if there's any updates on the images situation but if not I'll fuck right off#fun times#(also maybe just maybe I'm generally a little negative these days. that may play into it. I'm sensing that sweet summertime blues ♡#((who cares if it's because of my father's death or because of my colleague's going away or because of general existential despair due to#university.... i'm just annoyed) )#void screams
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And maybe you'll be like "but if you don't trust businesses, how can you trust welfare?"
I fucking don't. My mom trying to get on food stamps fucked me up because a lady I never met without my permission got my SSN from my mom and started editing my files. My heart still races to this very second whenever I think about it, it kinda messed me up bad and I'll never ever ever see any kind of recourse
And I'm terrified that I'm gonna lose my medicaid just cause I inherited some money from my grandpa
And I've never even applied for disability cause it kinda doesn't matter finding out if I'd qualify or not cause of my depression, when the rules are so restrictive I don't know if I've even be allowed to keep my house
I do not fucking trust these things on a personal level. I feel like out of a lot of people I have the most to fear from them cause I'm on the edge of having things work, and that gets you punished
...but I need medicaid in order to have insurance (and when you strip out the finance side of medicaid, I love medicaid... they're honestly incredible insurance... I just... I just... dental is like 90% of why medicaid is so important to me, ever since I found out this state pays for it I've actually been able to do cleanings which is important to me cause I can't always get myself to brush)
And I think things like disability and food stamps are pretty damn important on a personal level, and honestly are also good for the economy cause they get people spending... it's practically a free cash infusion into the economy, cause these are people who need to buy stuff
There's just so much important stuff welfare does that it's worth dealing with government
No, what I want is more accountability so if someone gets my SSN from a 3rd party like my mom they're held to HIPPA styles standards where that's not ok to access my files without my permission (She changed my fucking address and tried to get medicaid to investigate me for fraud! Never even met me)
Like have some accountability there and in every situation
Secondly I want less punitive focused rules. I'd frankly prefer bezos get on disability than smack down some poor sod cause they got $2000 in the bank or cause their friend lets them live with them for free
If there's gonna be a cut off on these programs, it needs to be a solid step above the poverty line, cause... by definition I assume poverty line denotes kinda the minimum expected income people can reasonably live off of, and if you take away benefits people are gonna lose a chunk of money to covering that stuff themself, so you need a buffer before you kick people off
I don't fucking trust the government for a second, I've actively been fucked by them and on a personal level I avoid everything but medicaid and only that cause everything but the money is pleasant to deal with and I kinda need it (honestly if I was rich I'm not even kidding that I'd rather give medicaid like $400 a month than some insurance company, I sincerely like them as insurance)
But I'd trust them a lot more if they were less punitive, less out to hunt me down and gut me cause someone handed me a fiver or cause I started to get on my feet, and if government employees had concrete rules they had to follow that were actually transparent and enforced
Like 90% of my problems with welfare go away if they're held accountable and there's less "catch the welfare cheats" mentality going around
I don't trust the government in the slightest, but sadly there some jobs it kinda has to do, so I'd just rather force it to be an open book where the public can keep an eye on it and if they step out of line there's consequences (sort of like I don't trust most mega corps but happen to sometimes need stuff from them... did you know literally every cell service provider has been illegally selling shit like your location data to random people like bounty hunters, and the FCC just slapped them with a fine that's 0.02% of their yearly incomes and debated even doing that? I even can offer a source on that)
...I don't trust much of any authority cause they constantly fail me and kinda screw me. Don't trust doctors either, but I still gotta go to them, you know? ...they're just... they're real bad at listening... so many systems need systemic change
(You know who I really don't trust is the cops. I could point to so many examples. My uncle doesn't trust cops either, and he's an ex Fire and SWAT paramedic, he worked with them and we still got into a long conversation where he basically tore into them far better than I can)
(I don't trust authority that's not accountable)
#anyway; if I'm a lousy cheat or whatever least they can do is give me a gun so I can solve that problem#shit makes me wish I was canadian so I could take advantage of their sick implementation of assisted suicide#what should be a system that gives people a choice about the quality of their life; and I don't think should be relegated to terminal illne#...there was... think he was dutch; had been burned by his girlfriend all over his body; was in constant pain#and he ended up using assisted suicide in the end cause he was just in constant agony... think that's his choice to make#but of course the canadian system concretely pushes people; mostly the poor and disabled; to kill themselves#not theoretically; as in literally says word for word to them 'you should really kill yourself; just sign here'#it's sick; it truly is#but for any americans that want to dunk on it; I'm telling you we're no better#we have the exact same miserable desperation and people (again; mostly poor and disabled) into despair#only difference is we don't offer assisted suicide#the underlying issues in the US and canada are so damn similar; so much of what's happening ends up being the same#you can't act smug just cause you only make people want to die instead of also offering to help#that's like saying that you're the good guy cause while you did everything you could to drive someone to the brink#get them fired; slash their tires; just cartoon level villain stuff to personally harass this person... at least you won't hand them rope#we have such similar systemic issues to canada; and I am explicitly telling you that like the people in canada that have said#'I can't take it anymore; disability doesn't cover my expenses and I can't get any help... I'm at my wits end so I'm gonna go die'#I'm telling you that I feel that same way; just without any eugenics agency I can call up#I'm really working to get things stable; but it feels like I'm teetering on the edge of falling into permanent failure#and... and I'll actually tell you the amount even though I don't like to mention money... makes me feel guilty#my gramps left me $27k; which sounds like a lot; but I got 20 windows that need redoing (house has a lot of windows)#...if they ended up being 1k each; that's most of the money gone; if they end up being more...#and I got a whole lotta other stuff I've been putting off like plumbing around here; need to replace that faucet#it's an amount of money that helps; but it's an amount of money that isn't gonna last#...that's like a year of bills; and my mom already needs me to pay like $400 to the propane bill since she got behind#I want to use it to... to try and really get my feet on the ground; but it might loose me my insurance... it makes me want to die#and not to be a selfish bastard; but if I could I'd like to try and take and invest a bit to maybe build some passive income#given that... that a job never seems to work out for me cause I fucking suck and cause like... my insomnia has me up at 5:30 am right now#mm tag so i can find things later
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how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend
#lovebombing won't work on me i will automatically assume there is an ulterior motive there#i may be off on what it is. but i won't trust it either anyway#(joking btw ik i'm not immune to abuse tactics. that's actually part of why i'm vigilant to all that i think)#(but not only)#i think my main issue is i know in my heart these things can't be right. the bigger the compliment the less i believe it#bc i'm below average and so is anything i create. propping it (and me) up as smth unique feels disingenuous#in my heart i do want this like i wanna be told nice things but they usually make me feel worse lol#bc i still think i'm shit and now i feel like i can't trust that person either.#(still. if someone is mean to me or even just harsh instead. i will cry)#also while this is already very deep and digging into my core the next tags are gonna dig into therapy level deepness lol#i think this is actually why i only want ppl to be sexually attracted to me honestly#smth abt it being like. a physical reaction. makes it easier to believe for me#also smth you can express smth you can do to prove it beyond just saying words#(i will sometimes still doubt it when i have a steady partner of any sort lol like i'll ask if they just indulge me or actually want it)#which is why it's fucking me up sm that i'm getting uglier 🥲 i'm already not great - being trans and fat limits a lot of your options - but#things are getting even worse lol 🥲 who knew that was even possible#all this isn't really a very good base to stop hating yourself. so my self loathing is only getting worse every day#thus making any good word harder to believe. and the cycle continues#. yknow when i started typing this post i did not expect to go on for this long#i am on these sleeping pills that make me lose my filter i'm sorry 😔#vent
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This is awesome just remembered I get to write the frottage scene soon assuming I actually write more than 4 words this week.
#.txt#long tags sorryyyyy#fellas do you ever offer everything you can to a man in a silent beg for forgiveness and let yourself accept that seemingly the only part o#you he's willing to touch now that he knows what you are is your dick but whatever you'll take what you can get. and it's selfish too but#it's also all you can offer short of turning your life upside down for him which you refuse to do.#fellas.......... do you ever fight against yourself for weeks because you want and need to forgive someone but can't figure out how.#you ever get torn between someone you care about and nearly have forgiven but you keep getting caught on the fact it's such an unforgivable#slight in the first place. so you take all that he offers but you can't bring yourself to forgive him until he's in front of you with his#hair sticking to his forehead and his hand shaking where it's gripping your bicep.#and seeing him be so open and vulnerable when he really shouldn't with you and really never should have AT ALL with you. makes it finally#click & makes it possible to wrap your head around ''I love him. he cares about me. he did one of the worst things possible. I forgive him.#OR WHATEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't quote me on ANY OF THIS I'm always fucking around with motivations and wants and#needs and desires to make shit work how I think is best for all I know this is all useless#I hate posting my writing ever even when it's just set-up stuff like <- all that. BUUUUUT also I need a copy of all that for tomorrow to#remember . what I'm thinking abt basically. SOOOOOOOO YOU GUYS GET TO SEE THIS :3 hope u like what goes thru my head constantly while I'm#stocking shelves. sorry for long vague tags and endless talking yet again just need it written down#*that he'll touch is your dick. I have no idea how that typo happened what happened there
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look i know it's probably just really petty (it isn't, the whole message of this episode, even ignoring the twitch namedrop, was disgusting tbh) but i don't think i'll ever get over how one day at a time decided to alienate an entire chunk of their audience because of an assumption/stereotype they decided to not look into at all before making a whole ass episode about it. "oh just get over it" THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A SUBSCRIPTION IS. OR AN EMOTE. I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW WHAT STREAMING IS LIKE GENERALLY. TWITCH IS FREE. THERE IS NO PAYWALL TO USING THE SITE OR APP. THEY COULD'VE JUST LOOKED THIS SHIT UP OR ASKED SOMEONE WHO USES IT. DO YOU SEE HOW STUPID & FUCKED UP THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS COMPARED TO EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE IT. I CAN'T GET OVER IT.
#i cannot describe my reaction to seeing this episode as anything but shellshocked#like i was sitting there & the next episode started playing but i was going through fucking war flashbacks i was NOT present#a hundred subs earned her $0??????? bitch what the actual fuck#''gamers are hyper-aggressive losers & working from home isn't a real job get off your ass & do manual labour!!!'' what the fuck dude#i think it just came out of fucking nowhere because they were all ''we're queer friendly!! we talk about mental health!!!''#& then they hit you with the ''but you should still do manual labour to get paid & also video games are the devil''#the absolute whiplash of going from genuinely progressive to satanic panic & pull yourself up by your bootstraps mentality#for the record it has literally been YEARS & every once in a while i remember & sit here in agony#like yeah dude no fucking wonder your show was cancelled you just told your entire audience gamers suck & working from home is lazy#& then got every single detail about twitch wrong. like it was a game to see how many details you could fuck up at that point#what's the point in namedropping twitch if you're not even gonna like. get any details at all even remotely correct#i cannot be the only person who couldn't watch it after that like the whole thing was stained for me#like great they support trans people & taking medication but if you can't do manual labour or you speedrun for a living you're a leech#& look i know people view twitch as a cesspit but there are a lot of cool streamers. like look at GDQ#do not blame the entire gaming/speedrunning community for the worst people there. we also hate those guys
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