#like yeah dude no fucking wonder your show was cancelled you just told your entire audience gamers suck & working from home is lazy

[pa-pa-plasma]

look i know it's probably just really petty (it isn't, the whole message of this episode, even ignoring the twitch namedrop, was disgusting tbh) but i don't think i'll ever get over how one day at a time decided to alienate an entire chunk of their audience because of an assumption/stereotype they decided to not look into at all before making a whole ass episode about it. "oh just get over it" THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A SUBSCRIPTION IS. OR AN EMOTE. I DON'T EVEN THINK THEY KNOW WHAT STREAMING IS LIKE GENERALLY. TWITCH IS FREE. THERE IS NO PAYWALL TO USING THE SITE OR APP. THEY COULD'VE JUST LOOKED THIS SHIT UP OR ASKED SOMEONE WHO USES IT. DO YOU SEE HOW STUPID & FUCKED UP THIS WHOLE EPISODE IS COMPARED TO EVERYTHING THAT CAME BEFORE IT. I CAN'T GET OVER IT.

[hookedonapirate]

Book Update

If anyone is wondering when Hard To Handle will be coming out, I have some news! So, for those who don't know, Hard To Handle is an original A Helping Hand rewrite featuring Harper and Owen (Killian and Emma) and will be part 2 of the series. And if you haven't guessed yet, part 1 features Audrey and Brady (Elsa and Liam from A Helping Hand) with a Harper and Brady friendship. For those interested in their story, I have a little treat for you below. However, this Sneak peek doesn't show Audrey and Brady meeting yet because I haven't gotten that far.

This is sort of an enemies to lovers story (I say sort of because their "enemy" status in the beginning is too complicated to slap a label on it) that starts off with Harper and Audrey butting heads with their new neighbor, Brady, and him and Audrey exchanging love hate letters. 😉 Then Brady and Audrey form an alliance and break up Harper and Bryce. I promise it's not evil like it sounds because Brady discovers Bryce is cheating on Harper. Remember, Bryce is the Neal of AHH.

This book is a bit darker than book 2 because of the toxic nature of Harper's relationship with Bryce, and because Audrey often pays the price for his shenanigans, but there's still humor and fun in this one.

Anyway, here are the first few chapters. I may post more if anyone's interested ❤️

Chapter One

Brady

There are strange sounds coming from the unit next door.

Laughter maybe?

Yes, definitely laughter.

More like Cackling. From one—make that two—females.

Two loud, annoying females.

Just great.

I take pride in being a fairly simple man who doesn’t need much to be happy. A few things like fishing, enjoying an ice-cold beer and having a few moments of quiet time usually does the trick. Even the sound the can makes whenever I crack open the pull tab of Coors Light is music to my ears. I finally have time to relax after sweating my ass off from all the unpacking I did. I just moved in today and couldn’t stand the idea of tripping over boxes or searching through them every time I needed to use something. I was unable to stop unpacking until every single item in those boxes had a home.

Now I’m able to sit back in my patio chair, prop my feet up on the plastic stool and breathe in the pleasantly cool evening air, enjoy a refreshing, ice-cold beer and some quiet time.

Or at least I was able to until my air of tranquil serenity was so rudely disturbed by my cackling neighbors.

They could at least close their balcony doors, so the entire building doesn’t have to hear them.

I’m already in a foul mood, and the two laughing hyenas aren’t helping. If anything, my mood is worse than it was when I was packing.

They, however, sound like they’re having a grand old time. Doing what exactly, I’m not sure, but it sounds like one of them needed a break from studying and the other one is encouraging her to get drunk and let loose. Which means they’re college students.

Just fucking perfect.

This is exactly why I moved off campus, even though it meant paying rent and enduring a much longer commute to work.

It’s just my luck to get stuck living next to two loud teenagers or early twenty-something-year-olds. I’m around college students all the time, considering I’m an instructor; I don't need to live next to them, too. I learned that very quickly.

Young adults, my ass. More like impudent children.

I feel like the property management should’ve included that minor detail in the apartment listing. Or that not everyone is required to follow their uniform policies.

A peaceful, friendly community? Ha!

The management will definitely be hearing from me about their false advertising.

“Dude, I’m sorry to tell you this, Harp, but your boyfriend’s a fucking loser! Even Elisa said so!”

“He’s just misunderstood!”

“Misunderstood?! Bryce is such a creep!”

“Is not!”

I take a swig of my beer through gritted teeth. I really wish I had a TV right now.

It won’t be delivered until tomorrow, though. Which is very unfortunate and inconvenient at the moment because I need a distraction from reality. Listening to their conversation makes me furious and sad at the same time because it reminds me of me and my brother arguing about his girlfriend. I kept trying to tell Owen she was no good for him, but he wouldn’t listen. I bet this Bryce guy isn’t married, though.

Or maybe he is; I really don’t know.

I need something to take my mind off the overwhelming urge I feel to hop on a plane, fly to Chicago and kick my brother’s ass for being the fucking moron he is. And let me tell you, the urge is very strong right now. Earlier today, Owen told me the woman he’s been seeing is married. They’ve been dating for six months, during which she was lying to him the entire time. I already didn’t like her very much to begin with because she was a controlling bitch—I’m the only one who’s allowed to be a controlling bitch to my brother—and because ever since he started seeing her, I haven't been able to hang out with him very much. Whenever we made plans, he canceled them because Naomi wanted to spend time with him instead. And he was my best friend. Now he tells me she’s married and that he’s still staying with her.

What the actual fuck?

He’s so brainwashed by her, I couldn’t talk a lick sense into that goddamn head of his. Now he wants me to be okay with them staying together while she’s still with her husband?

Fuck that shit.

“Okay listen, if you’re going to talk shit about my boyfriend, we’re going to need more wine.”

“Agreed.”

It becomes silent next door for a few minutes, which makes me sigh in relief. Soon I hear, “Son of a fucking bitch!”

There’s a litany of curses and then, “We need a new corkscrew!”

“But we’re too drunk to drive anywhere!”

Damn, if only I had a corkscrew so they could drink more wine, get drunker and become even louder and more annoying than they already are.

That’s actually not a bad idea, though. If they’re anything like my ex-girlfriend, the quicker they get drunk, the quicker they’ll be ready to sleep. The quicker I’ll finally have my peace and quiet.

I contemplate driving down to the corner store, but what would I even say if I showed up at their door with a corkscrew they didn’t ask for? Oh, hi, I was eavesdropping on your conversation and took it upon myself to go to the store and buy you this corkscrew so you could both drink yourselves into an alcohol-induced coma and I could finally have some peace and quiet?

Nope, I definitely can’t say that.

Chapter Two

Audrey

“Son of a fucking bitch!”

When I rush into the kitchen to see why my roommate’s cussing up a storm, I’m expecting the counter and floor to be covered in wine and shattered glass, even though I didn’t hear any glass break, but Harper’s just holding the corkscrew and staring at the top of the bottle.

“What’s wrong?”

“We need a new corkscrew!” Harper grabs the bottle of wine and points the top of it at me. The cork is still jammed into the neck of the bottle, and the worm of the corkscrew is stuck inside it.

Which is very unfortunate.

She’s been studying her ass off, except for the occasional interruptions from her asshat of a boyfriend, Bryce. She had a really tough time getting him to finally leave so she could study, and she had to literally push him out the door. So I thought Harper could use a break and I could feel saner again by indulging in some wine. But one bottle of wine quickly turned into two. Or rather, it would’ve if not for the end of the corkscrew inside the cork.

Fuck.

“But we can’t drive anywhere,” I point out, considering how tipsy we both are, even though we only went through one bottle between us. But we’re both lightweights.

“Hold on,” she says, picking up her phone from the counter.

I cock my brow. “You do realize Amazon Prime takes two days to ship, right?”

“Yeah, I know, Aud. I’m not that drunk.” After looking at something on her phone for a minute, she leaves the kitchen, returns with one of her tennis shoes and sets the phone down to pick up the wine bottle. She places the bottom of the bottle inside the heel of the shoe, raises her hands above her head and goes to one of the walls in a striking pose.

I rush over and put my hand on her arm to stop her. “Wait, what are you doing?”

“This will push the cork out.”

“But won’t the wine spill all over?”

“Not if I can only push the cork part of the way out and then pull it off the rest of the way.” She hits the shoe against the wall a few times, but the cork doesn’t budge.

“Why don’t we see if any of the neighbors have a corkscrew,” I suggest. “This method doesn’t seem to be working.”

She sighs and drops her arms. “Who do you think would have one?”

“What about Mandy? She’s a wine drinker.”

Harper shakes her head. “She doesn’t get home from the office until late on Mondays. And there’s no way I’m trying mister grumpy pants across the hall. It always seems like he’ll snap at any moment. Plus, once his dog starts yapping, she never shuts up.”

“What about the new guy who just moved in next door?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. What if he’s an ax murderer?”

“I saw him earlier when he was moving in. He seems harmless enough, and is kind of cute, actually.”

“Yeah, well so was Ted Bundy. And I’d like to stay alive with my head intact, thank you very much.” I haven’t seen the new neighbor yet, but I don’t think going over to a stranger's place while we’re both a little tipsy is the best idea, for several reasons.

She flicks her hand. “Well, you don’t have to go. I will.” She grabs her keys, removes her pepper spray from the attached chain and throws her keys back on the counter before heading toward the door.

“Harp, wait…”

Ignoring my pleas as I follow behind her, she slips into her Nike slides. “I’ll be fine. I got my handy dandy pepper spray,” she says, holding it up.

Before I can talk some sense into her, she’s already dashing out the door and calling out over her shoulder, “If I’m not back in five minutes, call 911!”

I sigh and lean against the door, pressing my ear against it so I can listen for Harper’s screams or any signs of a struggle.

Chapter Three

Brady

When I head inside from the balcony, there’s a knock on the front door. I scratch my head and stride over to answer it, wondering who it could be. I just moved into this apartment today, so I literally don’t know any of my neighbors yet.

I open the door to a skinny blonde with green eyes, long, shimmering hair and soft pink lips. She’s easy on the eyes, but I have a feeling she’s one of the laughing hyenas next door. She’s not as young as I thought she’d be, though. She looks to be around my brother’s age. When I give her a once-over, I notice the pepper spray she’s trying to hide in her fist.

I wince at the sight of it. She doesn’t even have the safety lock on.

I offer a tight-lipped smile. “Hello.”

“HiI’myournextdoorneighbor,” she mumbles, her words slurred together. She’s a little tipsy and has to lean against the doorframe so she doesn’t fall over.

“How can I help you, next-door neighbor?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the pepper spray. The sight of it brings back too many painful memories. Memories I’d rather keep locked away.

“I was wondering if you had a corkscrew my roommate and I could borrow?”

On the balcony, I wanted to strangle the two neighbors who were interrupting my quiet time, but now I feel very protective. She’s obviously drunk, yet stumbling over to a neighbor she doesn’t even know. I mean, I like to consider myself an overall decent human being, or as I’ve been called before, “one of the good guys,” but this woman doesn’t know that. She knows nothing about me, yet she’s over here asking to borrow a corkscrew. And yes, she’s carrying a weapon, but I doubt she knows how to use it properly, and with how tipsy she is, I doubt she’d even be fast enough to use it.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.”

Her smile fades, but she looks determined, so I’m hoping she doesn’t go knocking on all her neighbors' doors asking for a corkscrew.

“I could buy you one,” I offer, trying to sound as polite as possible. Which is difficult when I’m irritated.

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Really? You’d do that?”

I cross my arms and give her a stern look. “On one condition.”

She nods excitedly. “Of course, anything.”

I’m so glad I’m a nice guy because this woman seems far too trusting, and I’m afraid of what would’ve happened if I were anything less than a decent human being. “I’ll go and get you a corkscrew if you return to your apartment and keep the noise down for the rest of the night. And maybe close your balcony doors so the entire building can’t overhear your childish conversation.”

I’m thinking this is a very reasonable request. I’m willing to leave the comfort of my apartment to get in my car and go to the corner store to get some women I don’t know a corkscrew, and all they have to do is put a cap on the noise.

But the scowl on her face tells me she doesn’t agree. “First of all,” she raises her index finger, “ruu-uuuuuuude!” She raises another finger. “Secondly, my roommate and I aren’t children. We’re having a stressful week and were finally able to relax and drink some wine when the corkscrew broke. But that’s okay, we’ll figure out how to get the cork off ourselves!” She turns on her heels and starts to head toward her apartment, but spins around again and gets in my space, jabbing a finger at my chest. “And thirdly, we weren’t being that loud!”

I clench my jaw as she storms away and slams the door shut after disappearing inside her apartment. I throw my own door shut, huffing in frustration.

Why couldn’t my neighbors all be sweet old ladies?

So much for having a relaxing evening!

I head back to my balcony when there’s another knock on the door.

“Son of bitch,” I curse under my breath as I march over to the door and yank it open. “What, now?” I ask angrily when I see her standing at my door again.

“I need to borrow a dress shoe.”

I furrow my brows, growing more agitated. “A what?”

She sighs as though I’m the one inconveniencing her. “A dress shoe,” she says impatiently. “Surely you’ve been to a wedding or funeral. You must have one.”

“I do, but why do you—” Before I get the chance to answer, she shoves past me and heads toward my bedroom.

I follow her in there and cross my arms over my chest in the doorway as I watch her go to my closet. “What in the ever-loving hell are you doing?”

“I told you, I need to borrow a dress shoe.”

Seriously?!

The audacity of this woman waltzing into my apartment and taking one of my shoes! “That’s funny because I never said you could borrow one.”

“Wow, your closet is super organized,” she comments as she looks around, easily finding one of my brown dress shoes and grabbing it from the shoe rack.

I’m still standing in the bedroom doorway when she tries to get through. I reach for my shoe, but she steps back and aims her pepper spray at me. I instinctively duck out of the line of fire and lunge forward, grabbing the pepper spray from her hand and twisting the safety lock.

“Wait, please don’t kill me! My roommate’s calling 911 if I’m not back in two minutes!” she cries, shielding herself with her hands.

I sigh in exasperation and extend the pepper spray to her. “I’m not trying to murder you, I was trying to get my shoe back.”

She slowly drops her arms and narrows her eyes as she snatches the spray from my hand. “Then why did you take away my weapon?”

I scoff. “It was a reflex so I didn’t get sprayed in the face since I wasn’t actually attacking you. Do you know how many times I’ve been pepper-sprayed in the face?”

“Why, because you’re a rapist?!” she accuses, stepping away from me and aiming her pepper spray at me again, even though the safety is still on. She probably doesn’t even know that, though.

I sigh in exasperation and raise my hands in surrender. “No, because I was in the Marines. Getting pepper-sprayed was part of my training. It taught me how to use my weapons and equipment.”

She lowers the spray, guilt etched in her features. “Oh, sorry. My roommate said you might be another Ted Bundy, and I don’t want to be raped and murdered.”

“Yeah, because breaking into your neighbor’s apartment and stealing their shoe is a good way to prevent that from happening,” I say, my words laden with sarcasm.

“Well, no, but that’s what the pepper spray was for.”

“It won’t do you any good if you don’t use it properly. You need to have a firm grip and use your thumb to activate it so it can’t be taken out of your hand like I just took it out of yours.”

“Thanks for the tip.” She raises the pepper spray at me again and presses the button to activate it. But it’s still disarmed. Once she realizes her mistake, her eyes widen.

I cock my head to the side and plant my hands on my hips. “Really?”

She offers an apologetic smile, then scurries toward me, ducks under my arm and squeezes past me, darting for the front door. “I’ll bring it right back, I promise!”

I let her go and exhale another deep sigh. What could she possibly need my shoe for anyway? To squash a spider or something? Can’t she use her own Goddamn shoe for that?

Right, she probably doesn’t want to get her precious shoe all gross, so she’s using mine instead. Which means my shoe will be returned with spider guts on the bottom.

Just great.

I go to the balcony and curtly grab my beer so I can head inside and not have to hear every goddamn word of their conversation again.

Pound, pound, pound.

What the hell?

It sounds like they’re banging something against the wall.

My shoe, perhaps?

Pound, pound, pound.

Then I hear a loud pop!

“Yessssss!”

They got the cork out.

“Holy shit, you made a mess!”

“Sorry, but at least we can keep drinking!”

“Woohoo!”

I head inside and close the sliding doors, hoping to go to bed and get some rest. But then there’s another knock on the front door.

“Fucking hell,” I groan as I go over to answer it. It’s probably the blonde neighbor with my shoe, but I’m not sure I want it back.

Sure enough, it’s her.

“Thanks for letting me borrow it.” She hands over my shoe with a small smile and heads back to her apartment.

“You didn’t borrow it, you stole it!” I call after her. But she completely ignores me.

“And sorry I tried to spray you...twice!” Before I can respond, she’s already inside her unit.

I bring the shoe to my nose to get a closer whiff of it. I noticed the smell as soon as she handed it to me. “Hey, why does my shoe smell like wine?!”

But I’m talking to the door at this point.

I shake my head and go back inside, trying to decide if I should try to get the smell out or just toss the pair into the trash. For now, I set it aside and go to the bathroom to get ready for bed, hoping my neighbors will down the bottle, get tired and pass out so I can have a quiet evening.

No such luck.

They turn on the music, and I can hear the pounding bass through the wall and also, “Yeeeeesssss, this is my jam!”

The walls are actually shaking.

Why do the other neighbors put up with this! It’s absurd, really.

They should be evicted.

I contemplate calling the police to make a complaint, but this is New York City; the police have better things to do than respond to non-emergency noise complaints. So I return to my bedroom, strip down to my boxers and toss my clothes into the hamper before slipping into bed. I can still hear the noises coming from the unit next door, but thankfully, I’m a patient man. I’m sure they’ll get tired soon and go to bed. Or at least I hope so.

But an hour passes, and the music still doesn’t cease. I groan and roll over on my stomach, pulling the pillow over my head, wishing I had noise-canceling headphones right now. I’m normally against the idea of something that cancels all sounds, because it also cancels sounds that alert danger. Like if a burglar broke into the apartment or there’s an explosion or gunshot. But right now, I’d do anything to get a good night’s sleep. Between arguing with my brother over the phone into the wee hours of the night yesterday and spending all day moving into my new place and unpacking, I’m completely exhausted. Not to mention I always start my day at five in the morning. My classes don’t start until eight a.m., but I like to get an early start to my day. I got up that early when I was in the Marines, and some habits just never die.

I’m about to get up and go down the hall to ask them to turn down the noise, but I’ve already asked her once and she got offended, so I doubt it will do any good.

Chapter Four

Audrey

I’m immediately regretting the two bottles of Barefoot Harper and imbibed last night. My head is pounding, I’m dehydrated, and I have to be at work in an hour. I take some aspirin, drink a full glass of water before jumping into the shower.

When I leave my bedroom, dressed and ready to go, Harper is shuffling out of her room.

“Morning,” she says groggily, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

“Morning, Harp.” I head to the kitchen to make her some coffee. I’m not a coffee drinker myself, I prefer tea, but I know Harper can’t function in the morning without a fresh cup of hot Folgers.

“Why did we drink on a weeknight again?” she groans, taking a seat at the table.

“That’s an excellent question.” I pour water into the pot and place it in the coffeemaker, turning it on.

Harper buries her face in the cradle of her arms on the table as I grab some aspirin and a tall glass, filling it with water. She doesn’t have to work today, but she does have classes. She’s already a registered nurse like me, but she’s going for her master’s degree to open up more job opportunities. And also because she’s an overachiever, when it comes to her career at least. I just wish she were an overachiever when it came to other aspects of her life, like the kind of men she dates. Or maybe Harper was purposefully aiming for Class-A levels of douchebaggery when she started dating Bryce. If that’s the case, then she definitely went above and beyond expectations. And while she is my best friend and roommate, there’s only so much sense I can talk into her. And I'm not willing to let some lowlife scumbag get in between our friendship.

“Here, these will help.”

Harper lifts her head and takes the aspirin and glass. When she pops the pills in her mouth, swallowing them down with a big gulp of water, she already appears to be more human again.

I grab my keys and strap my purse over my shoulder, heading toward the front door.

“Speaking of drinking, are you going to be here Friday night?”

I snort-laugh and turn to look at her, placing my free hand on my hip, knowing exactly where this is going. She’s still recovering from her hangover and already has booze on the brain. “That depends. Is Bryce going to be here?”

When she takes a slow sip of her water, I know what her answer is before she says it out loud. “Well, considering he’s the one who invited a few people over, yes, he’ll be here.”

“Then no, I definitely won’t.” I head for the door, trying to leave again.

“That’s a shame because Bryce has a good-looking friend who thinks you’re gorgeous.”

I spin around, cocking a brow. “Which friend?”

“Treyton. You haven’t met him before, but he saw your pics on Instagram.”

I walk to the table, placing my hands on top of the chair, my key ring dangling from my finger. “How did he find my Instagram account if we’ve never met?”

“Bryce showed it to him.”

What the fuck?

I furrow my brows in confusion. “Okay, why is Bryce showing his friends my Instagram account?”

She smirks. “Because Treyton was asking him if I had any cute, single friends.”

I sigh, not liking the idea of Bryce trying to set his friends up with me. I’ve met some of his guy friends, and neither is one I’d kiss if he were the last man on earth. “Sorry, not interested.”

I remove my hand from the chair and try to leave again.

“Oh, come on, Aud. Give the guy a chance. I mean, I don’t know him that well, but he’s fucking hot.” She picks up her phone from the table and pulls up something before handing it to me across the table. “See for yourself.”

I reluctantly take the device, a heavy sigh leaving my lips. I highly doubt his looks will sway me. Even if is hot, he’s still Bryce’s—

Holy crap.

He’s got those smokey grey eyes, a chiseled jaw and a little smirk on his beautiful face that makes me melt.

Well, fuck.

“So, what do you think?” Harper asks curiously, trying to stifle a smirk as she perches her chin on the back of her joined hands, her elbows resting on the table.

I try not to show how attracted I am to a freaking photo of a guy I’ve never met before, but damn, those eyes are spellbinding, and I’m pretty sure I’m blushing. “Okay, he’s a little cute.”

“A little? Honey, you and I have similar tastes in men, so I know you don’t think he’s just cute.”

“Yeah, that’s true. We usually do, which is why I have no idea how Bryce got your attention. He must have a big dick or something.” I narrow my eyes. “Does he have a big dick? Because that would explain a lot.”

Harper bursts out laughing. “Oh my God, Aud, you know it’s not all about the size! And no, he doesn’t, he’s average, but as much as you hate him, you can’t deny he’s good-looking.”

“Yes, maybe on the outside he’s cute but personality-wise he’s ugly as fuck.”

She sighs in defeat as I hand over her phone. This is just an argument neither of us will ever be able to agree on. Well, until she finally decides to take off those damn rose-colored glasses and sees Bryce as he truly is. But I know it would make Harper happy if I agreed to stay for the party. I know that sometimes she feels out of place considering most of Bryce’s friends are college kids. Normally, she’s the oldest one there, but you could never tell, because she has a baby face and looks at least five years younger than she actually is, so to the other college kids, she's one of them.

“Fine, I’ll be here for the party.”

Harper’s eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”

“Yes, but if any of his friends grab my ass, I’m leaving.”

She laughs. “Okay.”

The coffee machine beeps, so she gets up from her seat, grabs a mug and creamer and pours the steaming, hot liquid into her cup. She returns to her seat and sips her coffee as I once again try to leave. “Thanks for starting the coffee, Aud.”

“No problem. See you tonight.” I unlock the door, and when I pull it open, I notice a folded up crisp piece of copy paper taped to the outside. I cock my brow and peel it off, unfolding it. I’m expecting it to be from the building management.

But then I read the first line...

To the two hoity-toity princesses,

I immediately suspect it’s from mister grumpy pants across the hall, but the letter is in fancy cursive writing. Who even writes in cursive anymore? Maybe an old lady or mister grumpy pants, I suppose. But he normally doesn’t leave letters. He’ll just knock on the door with his cane and chew us out in person. Harper said the first time he knocked on her door to complain about the noise, he made her cry.

When he tries that shit with me, I give it right back to him and threaten to call the cops on his dog and have her taken to the pound. He tends to leave us alone now. So, I’m surprised he’s resorted to leaving us notes.

Can you kindly tone down your loud music and obnoxious woohooing, laughter and overall commotion that kept me up until 2 a.m.? Some people actually have to work on a Tuesday morning. I, myself, wake at 5 a.m. every single day and am now forced to go to work on three hours of sleep. Luckily the students I teach possess much more class and are at maturity levels you both obviously could never achieve if you actually tried. I know neither of you could possibly understand waking up early for a job or getting your hands dirty, as you’re city girls who probably live on mommy and daddy’s income and never worked a day in your lives, but some people actually have responsibilities and obligations, not just classes they can skip whenever they feel like it. So have a little respect and lower the volume a few notches.

This time you get a warning, but if the noise persists, I will be forced to contact law enforcement. Have a lovely day drinking your Starbucks lattes and trying to get rid of what I hope are nasty hangovers.

Sincerely,

The tired and cranky guy from 8C, thanks to his loud, annoying neighbors

P.S. The blonde who took my brown dress shoe owes me a new pair seeing as it now reeks of Pinot Grigio, thank you very much.

My nostrils flare before I even finish reading the letter. The audacity of this asshole! He doesn’t even know us, hell he hasn’t even met me in person, yet he makes all kinds of false assumptions about us.

I know neither of you could possibly understand waking up early for a job or getting your hands dirty.

What the actual fuck?! Harper and I both wake up at the crack of dawn to go to work at the hospital, and we’re constantly on our feet for at least twelve hours. We only work three days a week, but our jobs are emotionally and physically draining; I mostly use the other four days to sleep, recover, clean the apartment and run errands. So, for someone to say we don’t work or ever get our hands dirty is a blow to the gut. We’re nurses for crying out loud! Getting our hands dirty is part of the job!

Another remark of his that irks me: We’re city girls who probably live on mommy and daddy’s income. My parents would actually laugh out loud if they read this comment. They always tell me how independent I am. Hell, I wouldn’t even allow them to pay for my schooling even though they wanted to; I wanted to do it all on my own, so I had two jobs while I went to college. They also weren’t too happy when I took a job in New York, but they told me if anyone could handle herself in a big city, it was me. Not to mention, Harper had it way worse than me, growing up.

But the fact that this douchebag is so ridiculously wrong about us makes me smile a little. It will feel so goddamn good to make him see the error of his ways.

I’m still carrying the letter with me as I go to my bedroom closet and grab my stationary from the top shelf. I take out a sheet of paper and a pen from the box, replace it on the shelf and return to the kitchen. I hate the idea of using my good paper on this asshole, but if I’m going to stoop to his level and leave a note on his door, I might as well do it with class.

“What’s the note about?” Harper asks with furrowed brows. “I paid the rent just in the nick of time.”

“It’s not from management.” I take the pen and paper to the table and start writing out a letter. “It’s from our friendly neighbor in 8C,” I say sarcastically.

Her eyes widen as she reaches for the letter. “What did he say?”

I look up and hand it to her.

When she reads it over, the sleepiness in her eyes morphs into anger. “What the hell?! Who does he think he is? He doesn’t even know us!”

“Exactly.” I look down again at the paper and continue the sentence I was working on.

I can feel her staring at me as I write. “What are you doing?”

“Replying to him,” I say without taking my eyes off the page.

“What, are we in elementary school?”

“According to him, we are.”

“He’s just a douchebag, you can’t take anything he says seriously.”

I almost laugh. Normally she’s the one wanting revenge when someone wrongs her, and I’m the one having to talk her out of it. “Maybe, but this will teach him not to make assumptions about people.”

After I’m finished, I let her read it before I tape it to his door. I head to work with a smile on my face. This should teach him not to be such a dickhead.

Chapter Five

Brady

Dear self-righteous butthole in 8C,

~~~

Stay tuned for more...

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[eldri-sv]

10 - Shinsou

Kaori Shinsou has always been fascinated by people's minds. She is one of the best students in her Criminal Psychology course at U.A. and - being the lucky girl she is - her professor is not only one handsome dude, but is also working on the case of the serial killer Stain - a case that has been going on for years. As she is about to become Professor Aizawa's TA during the next term, a lot of other interesting cases start popping up all over the country... AU, OC x Aizawa

Trigger warnings: insomnia, drugs, ignoring medical advice, parents being absent, insomnia

(possibly incomplete, if you’d like something added, please let me know)

I fear that I am ordinary just like everyone

(The Smashing Pumpkins - Muzzle)

It had taken Kaori Shinsou a long time and a lot of guilt tripping her parents to let her go home from the hospital. She just really didn't want to spend the whole night there, when she could get the same rest at home. At least in theory. She knew she wouldn't be able to get much sleep at either place, but at least she could chat to Hitoshi at home. Or she could work on her papers for uni.

But she'd be damned if she didn't show up to her lectures at university. She wasn't going to try and catch up on days of work on her own, hell no. In her mind, it didn't make much of a difference whether she was at home writing assignments and going over less than perfect lecture notes - since she really only trusted her own - or whether she was sitting in university, high on painkillers.

The thing that struck Kaori as interesting was how the painkillers in addition to the concussion made her really sleepy. Usually she could barely ever sleep, but now it seemed like her body was just so exhausted from everything that it was shutting down. She had barely made it through her first lecture in the morning. After that she had an hour-long nap in the library.

Right now she had her Criminal Psychology classes. She was wondering whether she should even bother turning up for them. Kaori was sure they hadn't found a replacement for Mr. Aizawa yet and there was no way that he was back. But then again, there was no text or email about the class being cancelled, so she figured it would be better to make her way over there. If no one turned up for the class, she could still have a nap in the classroom. Maybe she should have stayed home after all...

While she was walking towards the classroom she checked her phone. There were a few messages there, one from Hitoshi, one from her mum and another one from Uehara. She opened the messages with a yawn. Hitoshi had sent her a link to an online ad. When Kaori clicked on it, it led her to someone giving away kittens. Kaori looked through the pictures with a growing smile on her face.

She clicked out of her browser to return to the message. God, her brain felt like molasses. Was this what it felt like to take that cough syrup with codeine? Hitoshi had to take it once and he said he has had the best sleep in his entire life while on it.

>>Are you going to get one of those? They look extremely cute. 10/10, would approve.<< Kaori answered the message. She checked the second message Hitoshi had sent her.

>>How are you feeling? If you collapse and I have to explain to mum and dad why you were at school and not at home, I won't be your friend anymore.<<

>>I'm fine, Toshi. I'm tired af. I just had a nap for like an hour in the library, it was great. Sleeping is amazing, Toshi, why don't we do it more often?<< she replied. When she read over it again, she noticed it sounded a little weird, but she couldn't really be bothered. She had probably taken way too many painkillers at this point, but at least her head wasn't hurting anymore.

She checked the next message that she had gotten from her mother: >>Hey, sweetie, how are you doing? I hope you get a lot of rest and can catch up easily on your school work. Don't do too much! Love you.<<

>>I'm fine, mum! Got a good bit of rest just earlier. Don't worry about any assignments for my courses, I'm sure I'll be able to catch up quickly. Love you, too.<< Kaori replied. She grinned a little, as she sent the text. Her parents were blissfully unaware of her being at university. They'd never find out anyway, unless something went terribly wrong. Or if Hitoshi spilled the beans, but he wouldn't do that. Kaori knew him well enough to be sure of that.

Her parents were never home, anyway. Why did they even care how she was doing? They were both doctors at the hospital, which meant they worked long hours and did shifts all the time. It was a rare occasion for Kaori and Hitoshi to have a meal with both their parents. And when one of them was home, they were usually busy doing some other stuff. They had gotten used to it. And after all, they still had each other. Kaori often thought she wouldn't be as close to Hitoshi, if her parents weren't at work all the time. She effectively raised the boy, since she was 8 years old.

While she was trying to get to Uehara's message, she suddenly bumped into something. Or rather someone. Kaori stumbled backwards and looked up from her phone confusedly. Who the hell would be bumping into her? There was no way they could have not seen her, especially since she had a fat bandage on her head.

"Shinsou? What the hell are you doing here?" the man that had ran into her said. His face was completely covered in bandages and he had both arms in a cast. He had long black hair and... oh shit. That was Mr. Aizawa.

"Uh... I'm going to class...?" Kaori answered. She slapped herself internally for how dumb she must be sounding right now. It's the painkillers, she kept reminding herself. If I say anything too dumb I can always blame the painkillers. She looked up into her professor's eyes. He did not look happy.

"You should be at home and getting some rest." he told her. Kaori couldn't help but burst out laughing. She should be home and getting some rest? Did he look at himself, all bandaged up and whatnot?

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I think you should be getting more rest than me." she replied. How did they even let him leave the hospital that early? Kaori was sure, she heard Hitoshi say that he had to have surgery and all. How the hell was he even walking after all that? How was he doing anything?

"I'm fine. There are more important things than my wellbeing." Aizawa said. Kaori would have guessed that he had a very stoic look on his face, but she couldn't really see it, due to the bandages. And it kinda annoyed her, because Aizawa had a really damn nice face and it was a shame she couldn't see it right now...

"Damn, Mr. Aizawa, I wish I was as motivated about my assignments as you are about my education." she replied with a smug grin on her face.

"I wish you were that motivated about your assignments, too. You seem out of it, Shinsou, are you sure you're okay?" he asked. It almost looked like there was a trace of concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine. I just... I took a lot of painkillers. I don't have a headache, though, so that's good." Kaori answered. Aizawa nodded.

"Well, if you start feeling bad during class, don't worry about it. You can leave at any point, I'll know why. Now, we're already late..." he said. Kaori nodded enthusiastically and followed Aizawa to the class room.

He wasn't really walking, he was sort of limping, while trying to keep his balance with his two arms. Kaori wondered how he even managed to get dressed like that. Probably a girlfriend. Or a wife. Was Mr. Aizawa married? Kaori glanced down at his hands, but even if there had been a ring, she wouldn't have seen it with the casts. Damnit. She knew this would be in her head until she found out.

While she was following Aizawa towards the classroom, she decided to check on her texts again. There was that text from Uehara she didn't get a chance to have a look at and Shinsou had probably replied already. Her mum wouldn't have time to reply to any texts anyway.

>>Girl, I heard you've been seen on campus today. Shouldn't you be in hospital with Aizawa? Lowkey jealous of you about that, by the way. I wish I was in the same hospital as my hot professor.<<

Kaori blushed as she read that message. She looked up at Aizawa in front of her. God, Uehara had no idea how hard she was crushing on him right now. She always thought he was really handsome and all, but since the whole thing at the Rescue Training Facility, she was just seriously into him.

Uehara could never know, however. She wouldn't keep quiet about it and Kaori really didn't want things to be weird. Especially when she was supposed to be his TA next term. She had no idea how she would pull that off now. Uehara would definitely find out at some stage. The whole thing wouldn't be pretty.

She looked at her other messages. It was only Hitoshi who had answered her. He had replied to her message about the cats first: >>I still have to get mum and dad's okay, but I'm working on it. This household needs more cats urgently.<<

>>We don't sleep because we're fucking insomniacs, and sorry to break it to you, but you can't stay on painkillers forever.<<

>>Yeah, whatever. See you at lunch?<<

"Ahem..." Kaori heard Aizawa say. She quickly looked up and put her phone away. He was standing in front of the classroom door.

"Uh... Sir?" she asked, not sure what he was trying to say. He glared at the door and let out an exasperated sigh.

"It's really difficult to open doors with these casts... could you maybe...?" he answered and nodded towards the door.

"Oh! Of course, Sir." Kaori quickly replied and got the door for him. She really was being a dense idiot today.

[dylshoney]

college boy「part two」

synopsis: reader meets shawn during a philosophy lecture

a/n: hey im like sorry? for literally taking two months to post this part,  im still so unhappy with it, but at this point who cares. this is based on something that happened to one of my close friends last year, hope you enjoy :’) 

warnings: language, alcohol, mentions of sex

there will not be a part three

part one 

Shawn didn’t text you. Not that you were expecting him to or anything. Okay, maybe you were expecting him to. But why wouldn’t you? He seemed genuinely interested and you had spent an entire night together.

 But that was four days ago, and he still hadn’t texted you. He hadn’t even shown up to class on Tuesday. And today’s class was canceled, so you didn’t get the chance to ask him then.

 Today, Thursday, also happened to be the day Shawn was supposed to tutor you, but he hadn’t responded to your subtle text.

 Hey. Just wondering what time are you free to study tomorrow?

 You sent that yesterday, and when he hasn’t responded, you texted him again this morning.

 We’re still on for today, right?

 He didn’t respond to that either, showing no signs that he’d even seen it.

 “Stop checking your phone!” Carrie took it from your hands, making you roll your eyes and pout, “I wanted to see what time it was.”

 “No. You wanted to see if Shawn had texted you.”

 You gasp, an innocent expression on your face, “I would never.”

 “Yeah,” Luke snorts, shaking his head, “Right.”

 “Oh shut up.”

 “Did you do something to make him ignore you?” Mason asks.

 “No?”

 He raises his eyebrows, “Hm. Nothing weird?”

 “What are you implying?” You cross your arms, glaring at the shit-eating grin on his face.

“Just saying, I know you.”

“We just talked.” You shrug.

“And kissed – ”

 You ignor Carrie’s interjection, “Nothing weird.”

“You kissed him?” Luke shoots up in his seat, “Why am I just finding out about this?!”

“Because he’s been ignoring me since, not something I wanted to brag about, thanks.”

“But that’s huge!”

“Shawn’s probably huge.”

 Everyone ignores Carrie again as Luke continues, “Shawn hasn’t kissed anyone since freshman year, why would he kiss you?” 

Your eye twitches, “Gee thanks Luke.”

 “No,” he groans, “I don’t mean it like that, I’m just saying – I’ve never known him to kiss anyone he’s not in a relationship with.”

“Aw, he wanted a relationship!” Carrie gushes, squeezing your knee.

 “Maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought you did,” you mumble to Luke.

 “And if he wanted something with me, he wouldn’t be ignoring me – so that’s definitely not it.”

 “Maybe he was drunk?” Mason offers.

 “Maybe,” you nod, knowing full well that Shawn was completely sober the entire time he was with you.

 “Well, I’ve personally never seen Shawn show this much interest in anyone before,” Luke says leaning closer to the table, his eyes trained on you, “and if I’m allowed to share my professional opinion – ”

 “You’re not.”

 “ – then I’d say you shouldn’t forget about him so quickly. Maybe something happened to his phone. I’m sure there’s a logical explanation.”

 Everyone is silent for a second, his words hanging in the room like an ember of hope that you weren’t about to fall for.

 “Okay!” You straighten up, “Let’s go back to talking about – what was it?”

 “Dostoyevsky.”

 “Bless you.”

 Mason snorts, “That’s not – ”

 “But he was so into you!” Carrie throws her hands up, obviously not happy about the change in subject, “He invited you to a party, offered to help you study and took you for a romantic walk!”

 “Technically we broke into the uni’s  – ”

 “He obviously likes you!” She pauses for a moment, “You need to go talk to him.”

 “W –what? No.”

 She narrows her eyes at you, making you sit up straighter, “No. I am not – what – what would I even say?”

 “You’d be casual about it, something like – hey I thought we were supposed to study today?”

 You open your mouth, but close it quickly – hating how much sense she was making. Plus, you really wanted to see him again.

 “That’s not a bad idea,” Mason nods, “Be casual about it.”

 “I don’t know how to be casual about it.” You groan, slumping back into the leather armchair.

 “I can come with you, if you want. I need to ask Miles for my hat back anyway,” Luke offered.

 “No, she should do this alone,” Carrie shakes her head, “C’mon baby. Woman up, and go get yourself a husband.”

 You smile, shaking your head at her, before pursing your lips, and staying silent for a few seconds,

 “Okay.” You stand abruptly before you can convince yourself otherwise, “I’m just going to go to his house and ask him why he canceled on me.”

 “If it doesn’t work out stop at trader joe’s and get us ice cream!” Luke winks, throwing you a thumbs up to which you childishly stick your tongue out.

 “Yes, call me straight after!” Carrie squeals, practically bouncing in her seat.

 “Good luck!” Mason smiles to which you nod, your stomach suddenly in your throat as you tried to calm your breathing.

 *

 You arrive at the frat house twenty minutes later, your heart practically beating out of your chest.

You take a deep breath, wiped your sweaty hands on your jeans and walk up the steps before you can convince yourself to leave.

You knock on the door, once and then two more times for good measure. Your lips are raw from how much you had chewed on them, your eyes flickering up as the door swings open – Brian’s wide eyes staring down at you.

 “Y/n.” He looks behind him, coming out and shutting the door, “What are you doing here?”

 You swallow, trying to smile, “I – uh was wondering if Shawn was here?”

 His face is somber, a stark contrast to the grin you are used to, “He is.”

 You have never felt more awkward in your life, but it was too late to back out now, “Can I talk to him?”

 “I’m not sure that’s the best idea, sorry y/n.”

 You blink, taking a step back as your wide eyes stare at his almost angry expression. What the hell could you have done to make him look at you like that?

 “Oh. Well, can you tell him I was here?”

 He is silent for a moment, before nodding curtly, “Yeah. I’ll tell him.”

 He doesn’t sound genuine, his words sounding more like a dismissal than anything. You nod once, trying to keep your expression as passive as possible before turning around and slowly making your way down the steps.

 You hear the sound of a door opening, a familiar voice filling your senses as you freeze on the last step, “Dude listen – ”

 “Shawn, go back inside.”

 Brian’s harsh tone causes you to turn around, your wide eyes meeting unmistakable golden ones. Goosebumps run over your form, your mouth falling open as you register the way he’s looking at you. It’s something you’ve never seen before.

 “What are you doing here?”

 Your mouth is dry, a sudden urge to curl up in a ball and die coming over you.

 “I – ” you straighten up, trying to seem more composed than you felt, “I wanted to ask why you ignored my texts? I thought we were supposed to …”

 “You should leave.”

 “Huh?” Your mouth opens and closes, making you look like a blubbering fish.

 “Leave.”

 “Shawn – what? I –”

 You stop yourself, a tightness forming in your chest, “Look, I don’t know what I did to make you act like this, but there’s no reason for you to be such a dick.”

 You almost shy back at the deadly look in his eyes, his arms crossed as he takes a step closer to you.

 “Aaaand that’s my cue to leave.” Brian’s inside the house before you have a chance to blink, leaving you alone with Shawn’s glaring.

 “You’re kidding right?” He chuckles sarcastically after a minute; “You think I’m just going to study with you after the stunt you pulled?”

 “What stunt?”

 “I’m not a fucking idiot, y/n!”

 You flinch, taking a step back as your hands began to shake; you were never good with people yelling at you.

 “Shawn,” your voice is weak, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 “You’ve been telling everyone we fucked y/n.”

 Your heart drops in your stomach, like a heavyweight bringing you down, “No –”

 “No?” He’s looking at you like you are a child,  “The sad thing is – I actually liked you. But I guess that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

 “I –” You feel like you can’t breathe.

 “I hope it’s brought you the popularity you were craving, please never speak to me again.”

 You nod numbly, watching through glossy eyes as he steps back, his eyes almost softening at the look on your face – before he swings the door open, slamming it behind him.

 You blink, a single tear making it’s way down your face as you practically fall down the steps – your legs moving of their own accord.

 You pull your phone out, trying to make out the screen through your tears, bringing it up to your ear.

 You sniffle as you listen to the dial tone stop, “Carrie …”

 *

 You spent the entire weekend trying to figure out how the hell you were going to walk into class and face Shawn again.

 At Carrie’s request, you had gotten drunk on Saturday. She had hoped that it would help you relax and ease your whirring mind – but it had the complete opposite effect. After six jello shots you were laying in your bed, shaking and relying on Carrie’s soothing voice to send you to sleep.

 No one was more surprised than you that Shawn’s rejection had cut so deep, but it had you out for four days, which is more than you had given your last boyfriend.

 Mason tried to make sense of it, but couldn’t figure out how a guy you had only known for a few days had you unable to get out of bed.

 You were pretty positive that it wasn’t just about Shawn, but more about the way he had treated you. You hated how often you thought about the look on his face, so dark and serious. Deadly.

 You had never been involved in a rumor, much less started one. It wasn’t that you were quiet or shy, people knew who you were – but you were never interesting enough to gossip about.

 You slightly wished you had stayed back and explained yourself, told Shawn that you would never make up rumors, especially rumors like that. But then you would remind yourself that it wasn’t necessary. If Shawn had actually cared, he would have given you a chance to speak your truth, but he had obviously written you off immediately.

 This led you to walk into your philosophy lecture on Tuesday, completely pissed. Luke said angry you was a step up from sad you, and to some extent, you agreed. It was easier to be mad at Shawn, than to admit that you were still hurt.

 You got to class early, making sure to sit in your usual seat, knowing that Shawn wouldn’t sit next to you. Your notebook was open in your lap, with your ballpoint pen twirling in your hand, but your eyes were vacant, staring straight ahead as you saw him enter the room.

 In your peripheral vision you could see that he paused for a moment, before sighing and walking to the opposite side of the lecture hall, seating himself in a top left row. One of the rows with the absolute worst visibility. Good.

 As much as you wished you could say that the class went by without a hitch, that was far from the truth. Your professor seemed to be talking twice his usual heightened speed, wanting to make up for the lost class, and you were having an even harder time keeping up.

 Without Shawn’s notes and guidance, you knew that you would be screwed for the exam coming up in two weeks. It didn’t help that every single time you looked at the empty seat next to you, you thought of the curly haired boys lips on yours, which would immediately morph into the look on his face when he glared at you from his front door.

 Halfway into the lesson, your head is pounding and you realize that it’s completely meaningless for you to be seated there, pretending to be paying attention, when you could be in your bed instead.

 Ten minutes later you finally get enough courage to get up and walk down the steps, smiling slightly at your professor, who consequentially completely ignores you, and walk out of the auditorium.

 You swing your bag over your shoulder, releasing a breath as you speed walk down the vacant hall.

 “Y/n!”

 You recognize the voice immediately, and your headache increases tenfold. You don’t turn back, in fact, your steps quicken and you’re silently praying that he doesn’t follow you.

 “Wait! Y/n!” You can hear his footsteps against the wooden flooring and you’re cursing yourself for not putting in earbuds when you had the chance. He calls your name once more and with a roll of your eyes and a huff you spin around, “What, Shawn?”

 He falters for a moment, almost flinching back at the aggression in your tone, but he doesn’t stop walking until he’s three feet in front of you. “I just wanted to see if you were okay. You walked out of there pretty fast.”

 You feel like you’re having an out of body experience. He can’t really be asking you this? You stay silent, if not for the complete lack of a response, for the dramatic effect of finally getting to be as petty as you originally should have been.

 You stare at him with a blank expression for a few seconds to the point where it’s getting awkward, and Shawn has to look away and clear his throat, “Look I know you’re probably mad and –”

 “Probably mad.” You repeat, almost tauntingly. “Okay. I don’t have time for this right now.”

 You’re already turning around, this time not faltering as he calls your name for a third time, practically running out the doors. You hate the tightness in your chest, your fists clenching subconsciously at the look on his face, like he hadn’t completely embarrassed you not even a week ago.

 You almost want to turn around and yell at him for acting civil and asking you if you were okay, like the two of you had fought over an assignment, not over him accusing you of starting a reputation-ruining rumor.

 The weird thing, you realize, is that if the gossip was as bad and widespread as he made it out to seem, why hadn’t you heard anyone talking about it? Why hadn’t anyone approached you directly?

 Your mind is reeling and it takes everything in you to not send him a very strongly worded text, instead, you opt to head to trader joe’s picking up to pick up some ice cream, for the sixth time this week.

 *

 “Take the fucking shot you dumb – ” You’re downing the vodka before Carrie can finish whatever the hell she was going to say, leading her to promptly switch to shouting in your face.

 You’re almost regretting coming to the after party, but you couldn’t go home now. Not after the hockey team practically annihilated your rivals.

 “Holy fuck.” You’re gagging at the bitter taste in your throat, and taking Carrie’s hand as she leads you further into the party, where people are seated, waiting for the game of kings.

 “Y/n! C!” Marie cheers as the two of you take your seats, with Luke to your left and Marie to Carrie’s right.

 “Perfect.” Mason nods, “Can we start now?”

 “Wait!” Brian and Shawn push forward to seat themselves in the circle, Shawn’s eyes meeting yours as you unapologetically glower at him. His gaze shifts to the floor and you’re grinning, thankful that the alcohol is giving you a boost in confidence.

 “Does anyone need a refresher on the game?” Marie shouts, gaining a rumble of different responses, making her huff loudly, “Okay. So the cards are shuffled. We go in a circle and take drinks based on the card we pick. Each card has a predetermined assignment, so we’ll explain those as they come along. If you refuse to drink, you’re out. If you barf, you’re out. Your drink has to be filled at all times. Blah blah blah … let’s go!”

 “Who wants to go first?”

 “I’ll go!” Luke straightens up and the circle quiets down as he reaches for the pile of cards, before turning over a six.

 “Six means ladies drink!” A vaguely familiar boy shouts and suddenly you’re wondering if it’s the infamous Miles.

 Cheers erupt as the girls pick up their drinks to take a sip. You lower your cup with a slight smile as expectant gaze turn to look at you as you crawl forward to the middle, pulling out a two.

 “Two for you,” you recite, “I get to choose which two people will drink, or which person will take a double.”

 Snickers fill the room, two’s were one of the specific target cards, easy for trying to get certain people drunk. You straighten up, your eyes trained forward on a pair of confused brown ones. “I think I’ll go for our newbies. Brian and Shawn.”

 Brian rolls his eyes and downs the shot without a moment’s notice, but you can see the hesitation on Shawn’s face. You resist the urge to laugh, instead choosing to keep your calm, your gaze on him unwavering. “Problem Mendes?”

 You can see him swallow, and for a moment you feel guilty knowing that he doesn’t drink, but it’s his fault for joining the game. He knew what he was getting into.

 “No problem.” He clears his throat and throws the solo cup back, swallowing the contents inside, drinking way more than needed.

 You blink back in shock as the circle erupts in screams, everyone congratulating him for downing that much at once. Shawn grabs the bottle of vodka in the middle of the circle and adds it to his cups, mixing with some of the pink lemonade also provided.

 He catches your gaze across the circle, raising his cup as a sign of cheers, and winks at you.

 The game continues without a hitch, the next seven people going by in a blur of drinks. You had to drink two more times, but you weren’t opposed, hoping that intoxication could be an excuse for your raging cheeks.

 After Brian’s 3 and his lone drink, it is finally Shawn’s turn. You're anxiously biting your lip as he drags the card of out the center, almost in slow motion.

 He brings the card up to the light and based on Brian’s reaction, it’s a shitty one. Your heart is beating out of your chest and his eyes flicker back up to yours, spinning the card to reveal the only eight in the entire game.

 Your heart is in the pit of your stomach and you know what he’s going to say before he even manages to open his mouth. “Eight for a mate. The player gets to choose a mate to drink with them for the entire rest of the game.”

 People are losing their minds, even the bystanders passing by are curious to see who the smirking boy will choose. But he hasn’t taken his eyes off you for a second, and you’re almost tempted to leave the game, but it’s far too late now. “Y/n. I choose y/n.”

 Carrie’s hand squeezing your knee brings you out of your trance and you smile, raising your cup into the air, everyone cheering at your acceptance. But only Shawn recognizes that act for what it truly was, a challenge.

 Another few rounds and your words are considerably more slurred, and you’re finding things way funnier than they actually are. But it’s a consolation that everyone else seems to be as drunk, if not more than you are.

 The game starts getting a little repetitive with the same few cards getting pulled, with having to drink almost every round. People seemed to think it was funny that you and Shawn were linked, purposely choosing the two of you for most of the targeted assignments.

 Finally, Mason pulls out a queen, and the entire room gets silent once more.

 “The queen.” Mason smirks, twirling the card through his fingers. “The questions card. We’re going ask each other questions one by one, until someone is unable to answer. You can’t ask someone that’s already been asked, until we get through everyone.”

 There’s a flutter of agreement, people straightening up as Mason clears his throat, “Carrie. Have you ever had an STD?”

 She snorts, “UTI,” before turning to Marie, “Last person who went down on you?”

  “Uh Sarah I think?” There are hollers, but she ignores them as she points at you and your heart picks up a bit. “When’s the last time you had sex?”

 You bite your lip, unapologetically looking at Shawn again and answering without hesitation, “Seven months ago.”

 There are a few murmurs around the circle before Alisha, the girl who you vaguely remember from the last party with Carrie, snorts. “Seven m - months? What about Shawn?”

 “I never slept with Shawn.” You have to resist glaring at the obviously drunk girl.

 She’s tilting her head in confusion, “Are you sure? I could have sworn …”

 “You could have sworn?” Brian asks, speaking to the circle for the first time since he joined, “I thought you said y/n told you it happened?”

 Alisha shrugs, her eyes barely open, “N – no I said I assumed. Because Carrie s –said stay safe.”

 You can feel your right eye twitch. 

No one makes a move, as even the people who were unaware of the situation begin to process her words.

 “You fucking idiot!” Carrie slams her hand on the wooden floor, making a few people flinch back, and you’re knocked out of your thoughts – pulling her arm back. It was no secret that Carrie was easily agitated when drunk, and she was currently fuming.

 “C.” You’re whispering into her neck, “Let’s go.”

 “No!” She’s shouting, the entire room silent as they anticipate her next movements, but your terrified eyes meet Mason’s across the circle, and he’s on his feet immediately, helping you drag you vicious best friend from the space.

 Carrie’s shouting curse words you’re not even sure exist, only pausing once you’re in the backyard – far from everyone’s earshot.

 “The cuntbag ruined everything.” She’s tiny, but at that moment you’re positive she could take down even the fucking hulk.

 “No.” you’re wrapping your arms around yourself as the frosty air pinches your exposed skin. “Shawn ruined everything.”

 “But – ”

 “If he cared, he would have asked me. Not ghosted and then embarrassed me.”

 Mason places a hand on your shoulder, “I know I’m biased, but guys fucking suck.”

 “Not news.” Carrie’s still angry.

 “But at least people know the truth now?” Mason’s still trying to make you feel better.

 “Yeah. Although it seems that this was everyone’s first time finding out.” You shrug, “I can’t help but think that the only person Alisha told was Brian.”

 “Guys!”

 The three of you spin around at the sound of Luke’s panicked voice. “You’re missing a mess back there. Brian is yelling at Alisha –”

 “Good.”

 He ignores Carrie, “- and Miles is puking. I think I got some on video if you want to see, it’s literally like projectile and –”

 “Luke!” You shudder, raising your hands, “Okay. We get it.”

 “No! I wanna see!” Mason’s pushing past you to take Luke’s phone.

 The second the gagging sounds started you were shaking your head and head back inside, leaving your three giggling friends alone.

 The party is significantly more crowded than when you first came, and you’re pushing through a mass of bodies just to get to the kitchen.

 You’re looking for a familiar face, but it seems like another primarily upperclassmen party and you suddenly have the urge to go home. Not wanting to ruin Carrie’s fun, you opt to instead find Mason’s room and hang out there until she was ready to go.

 You have to squeeze through way too many people on the stairs, until you can finally breathe, heading down the hall of the frat house, and finding Mason’s room.

 You’re pushing the door open before you can think and you’re greeted with two moaning bodies on the bed. Your heart falls into the pit of your stomach and your scrambling out of the room, slamming the door behind you and shutting your eyes as you try to erase the image from your mind.

 “Y/n?”

 Your eyes snap open, not expecting to see Shawn’s concerned eyes so close to you, making you flinch back – slamming your head into the door behind you.

 “Fuck!” You bring your hand up to cradle the back of your head, and Shawn gets even closer to your shaking form.

 “Holy shit, are you okay?” You don’t have the strength to push his hand away from your arm, your ears still ringing from the impact of the hit.

 “Just peachy.” You hiss through gritted teeth.

 “Let’s get you some ice.” Shawn’s leading you down the stairs before you can argue, arm wrapped around your waist as he clears the path for you both.

 He leads you to the counter before rushing over to the freezer, pulling out an already wrapped ice pack, and you’re silently thanking that you’re in the football frat, filled with easily injured boys.

 “Here.” His voice is soothing as he brings the ice to your head, holding it gently against you and you’re stepping away from him as your hand wraps around the cold. “I can handle it.”

 He’s nodding, but either not taking the hint or ignoring it, as his hand wraps around your wrist, tugging you further into a secluded corner of the kitchen.

 You subtly remove your hand from his grasp, pretending to switch the ice pack between hands, quiet as you wait for him to say whatever was weighing his mind.

 “Can we talk?” Shawn’s more nervous that you’ve ever seen him and you’re almost tempted to make this harder for him, but you’re too tired to argue.

 “What do you want to talk about, Shawn?”

 He’s chewing on his bottom lip, “About what Alisha said during kings.”

 “What a surprise, eh?”

 He looks at you with an exasperated look, “I didn’t know.”

 “Exactly.” You’re nodding, your voice coming out angrier than you mean for it to, “You didn’t know. And you didn’t even bother to find out. You just accused me without a second glance.”

 Shawn’s silent, his doe eyes blinking a few times before he tilts his head, stepping closer to you. “I – I know this isn’t an excuse, but I’ve been screwed over so many times, and I vowed to not get involved with anyone this year – but I met you and you were so. Vibrant and funny and gorgeous and I couldn’t resist liking you.”

 You can physically feel your shell breaking as he pouts slightly, “And then Brian came in the next morning, shouting about you bragging that you ‘bagged me’ and I couldn’t.”

 He swallows, rocking on his feet a little, “I couldn’t let myself get hurt again.”

 You’re silent for a few seconds, practically hearing the gears turning in his head as he anxiously awaits your answer. “I would never do that to you. I would never do that to me.”

 “I know that now.” He nods.

 “The worst part, was that you didn’t even let me explain. You yelled and accused and practically kicked me off your porch. It was embarrassing, Shawn.”

 “I know, and if I could take it back, I would. But I was so mad, and you were standing there looking so innocent and so you, and I couldn’t believe you had betrayed me like that. But- but it makes more sense that you didn’t.”

 “Yeah.” You roll your eyes with a small laugh, “It does.”

 He’s waiting for you to make the next move, hesitant on how you’re going to react, and you’re reveling at the power you currently hold over him.

 “Why would – ” You bite your lip,  “Why would us sleeping be the worst rumor the hit the mill?”

 You can practically hear him swallow, “I thought you were doing it for popularity and bragging that –” He’s grimacing and you’re cutting him off. “Well if I did ever get with you, I would be bragging about it, I mean …”

 His laughter erupts so violently that he seemingly scares himself, throwing his head back as his eyes crinkle adorably and your heart clenches at the realization that you missed this. Missed him.

 He calms down after a few moments, “I think I would be the one bragging.”

 “Oh don’t flatter me, Mendes,” you roll your eyes, hitting his bicep playfully.

 “I can’t help it.” He shrugs. “I intend to grovel until you’ve forgiven me.”

 “I like the sound of that.” You hum. “How far are you willing to go?”

 Shawn pretends to think for a moment, “You need money? To beat someone up? A kidney?”

 You’re both laughing and it feels like you’ve never separated, like you’re still sitting on the stadium roof with him.

 You shake your head, smiling as your eyes meet his twinkling ones, “How about we start with philosophy tutoring, and then go from there?”

 permanent taglist: @tw-stydiaaf @egg-in-a-spork @alone-in-madness@yourwonderbelle @musiclover1263@spideyshcllands@savingmartinski@unconditionalcalum@carolinabiondi  @polishcrazyone@mendesmusical@prettymuchnew @melli-studies @itrocksmysocks@alinashawn@jerseygrayson @royalexperiment256 @mchutchmendes @boredombesson @justjustincase  @fallmoreinlove @marveloushawn @jaysgotabadrep @cheeky-mrs-marple @nedthegay@divinginfearlessly @youmaycallmemrshemmings @superiorsoph @rosesfromcth@loveydoveyshawn @ashwarren32 @justanotherfangurl272 @illuminatedestiny@darkwolfpeanutskeleton @lilya-petrichor @yleyanramirez1 @shawnxmendesxo@shawnmendes048 @t-lostinmendes @pastelshawns @searchingunderthestars@mxriblxckthorne @btarirembulan @secret123sworld @darkwolfpeanutskeleton @lilya-petrichor @yleyanramirez1 @shawnxmendesxo @shawnmendes048 @searchingunderthestars @sleepybesson @softboycal @sincerelykiwi @shawnsassymendes  

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[tessatechaitea]

Justice League Spectacular #1 (1992)

Just off-panel: Bibbo's ice cream truck.

I probably shouldn't be reading this or Justice League Quarterly before I read the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League but what can I do? That's the order they were placed in the short box! It would be a different story if free will were not an illusion but since it is, my hands are tied. It's either read this or, um, I don't know. Die from a temporal paradox? I won't risk it! I was looking through a bunch of my old writing and art last week and discovered a bunch of the kind of sentimental and sort of intellectual crap young people write. It's the kind of stuff you hide away and never show anybody ever and hope that when you die, it'll just get tossed in a dumpster with your old porn and Magic the Gathering cards. But it got me thinking about how brave I am! So brave! The kind of brave you wouldn't hesitate to call some jerk who signed up for the military because he couldn't live as a civilian. No, no. More braver than that! And being this super brave kind of person, I thought that maybe I should share some of this old poetry with everybody! But not yet! You have to work up to being truly brave! So instead, I'll share this piece of artwork I did that was supposed to be the first in a lengthy and disgusting series. It's of Lord Fondlerot, a character I created for the Dwarflover online comic I used to do. He was really into fucking things and I thought, "Hey! I should do a series of drawings where he fucks every creature in the monster manual!" But instead of doing an entire series, I drew one picture and grew either bored or disgusted with the concept. So here's that one picture:

Lord Fondlerot fucking an Axebeak.

Now you're probably wondering just how terrible my poetry must be if I'm opening with that! Well, you'll see soon enough! This issue begins with Sue Dibny still alive and visiting a Florida theme park with her husband, The Elasticated Man. Wow, remember when Sue Dibny was killed and all the heroes freaked out about their secret identities and considered doing intense brain damage to every single person who ever knew any of their identities until they found out that The Atom's ex-wife Jean Loring had gone cuckoo for Atom's cocoa puffs? She wanted them back so bad that she began threatening and murdering the loved ones of all the super heroes. It was the kind of story DC sometimes does where you read it and think, "Well, the twist at the end of that mystery was definitely worth the destruction of the most stable marriage in the DC Universe and also the death of Firestorm and Captain Boomerang! So good!" I mean it doesn't make you think that. It makes you think the exact opposite. Tom King would eventually do pretty much the same thing in Heroes in Crisis but instead of Jean Loring fucking up by accidentally killing Sue Dibny and murdering more people to cover her tracks, Wally West fucks up and kills Poison Ivy and some others and then tries to cover his tracks. But at least Tom King's had all of those entertaining scenes where the heroes are doing therapy and we get to see how much they're all suffering from PTSD. That's always a fun aspect of super heroes we never get to read enough about. Dammit! I keep doing it. I meant it was the opposite of fun! Although I still liked it because sometimes I just like seeing other people in pain. Not in a sick perverse way where I pop a boner or something! Just in that way where you sit around all day thinking, "My life is terrible and everything is wrong and I hate my parents for bringing me into this wretched existence and the only thing that might make me feel better is to learn that Superman sometimes feels the same way." Oh, remember when Tom King was writing Batman and he had that two issue Booster Gold arc where we got to see how fucking insane Booster Gold was from living through all of those horrible, wretched, dark alternate timelines? And the only way he can deal with the trauma and the PTSD is by making a joke out of everything? I'll have to think of that as the canon Booster Gold when I'm reading Giffen and DeMatteis's Justice League. Maybe it'll make all of Booster and Beetle's inappropriate joking more appropriate. Back to the story, Sue Dibny, alive and well, and her husband Ralph "The Elasticated Man" Dibny are busy showing a bunch of European diplomats around the non-Disney World theme park.

See? You can tell they're European because they're all smart and shit.

The first stop in the park is to Alice's Wonderland where the diplomats are attacked by the Royal Flush Gang. They are a gang whose theme is playing cards and not expensive toilets. Their powers are the ability to ride on gigantic cards and to make poker puns.

If looking good in tight fitting costumes is also a power, it's my new answer to the question of which super power would I choose..

Ten's outfit reminds me of the days when nipples were allowed to show through tops without being erased away through some kind of editing software. The 70s were a wild decade! Sure, there were also nips on television in the 80s but the 80s, generally speaking, sucked and were a huge contribution to the downfall of America.

The King of Spades mansplaining their entire concept to the Queen of Spades.

It's true that the royal flush beats any other poker hand but I doubt Superman is going to surrender after this concept is explained to him because, in the end, they're not fucking playing poker. It turns out Maxwell Lord paid the Royal Flush Gang to make a little trouble so the Justice League could beat them up and get some media attention. But the Justice League has apparently broken up and The Elasticated Man just isn't hero enough to save the European delegates all by himself. He might have been if the Royal Flush Gang had done what they were told and not really fight back. But why would they do that?! Wouldn't they still be in trouble with federal agents?! Booster Gold finds Blue Beetle busy pouting in the old Justice League cave headquarters. Booster has decided to try to cheer his old buddy up although why wouldn't Booster just travel to a timeline where Ted Kord is already cheered up? Is that how time travel works in the DCU? Or did Booster already try that, it went horribly sideways, and now he's a little more fucked up in the head when he returns to the "real" timeline?

For some reason, Ice and Fire have also come down to the cave. Probably to accidentally go on a double date with Booster and Beetle. Booster and Fire and Beetle and Ice hear a news report about the Royal Flush Gang and decide to go save Ralph. Superman also hears about the situation and heads to Florida where he's almost immediately defeated by The Royal Flush Gang. Not because they're dangerous and competent super villains but because some mysterious benefactor has give them weapons capable of knocking out Superman's powers. Maxwell Lord is not that benefactor so who could have done it? Certainly not Guy Gardner, right?! What would he want with getting the Justice League back together. Isn't he busy being Warrior or something by this point? Power Girl, Metamorpho, and Guy Gardner all join in on the fight. The guy behind it all is that Weapons Master dude who is desperate to get a new weapon for his arsenal: a Green Lantern ring. The attack on the Royal Flush Gang fails to get him the ring so he decides to attack directly. But not in this issue! He has to wait for a regular series issue. Ice uses Guy's ring to contact Hal Jordan because somebody finally decided this Justice League wasn't really a big league Justice League. Everybody reading it knew it for years. But I guess Dan Jurgens was assigned the task to get a new, more believably powerful League together. So Hal Jordan flies around to pick up some new members to save the day. He chooses The Flash and Aquaman which seems about right. But he also chooses Crimson Fox which seems like sliding backwards into goofy Justice League territory. Not that I totally approve of Aquaman but I have to admit he's a "serious" choice for the League.

Doctor Light also joins the party. Although why she'd keep the name of a pedo, I couldn't guess. Just become Lightwoman or something. But no! Once some jerk earns their doctorate, they just have to demand to be called Doctor.

I'm sorry. I was too distracted pointing out that Doctor Light joined the fight and how her namesake was a pervert to comment on Metamorpho acting like a huge fucking pig. Crimson Fox beats up some guys dressed as cards and admits that she's a boring idiot whose favorite part of the game is shuffling the cards. I understand the need to think up some kind of goofy one-liner when you go into battle but shouldn't you at least try to think up one that doesn't make yourself sound like a pathetic asshole? Weapons Master's plan failed but he figures he has enough information to get Green Lantern's ring next time. He'll then sell it to a Dominator for a few bucks and maybe some slaves. The big hitters talk it over and decide they should start a new Justice League without the approval of the United Nations. Yeah! Who needs some stupid Earthly authority when you've got an invulnerable Kryptonian, an all powerful space cop, and the king of the seven seas! All they need is a Greek Goddess and a mentally ill furry with a long history of violent behavior and they'll have the big team back together! Booyah! I mean, without that stupid Booyah shit because Cyborg is basically a toaster at this point. Maybe. I don't know! What am I, Johnni DC, Continuity Cop?! The heroes make one more decision: split the group into two Leagues. So once again, they're forming Justice League America and Justice League Europe. How come I don't remember this shit?! Did the comics get canceled in '92 and then immediately fired back up? I don't seem to remember two different incarnations of these teams. Maybe I should have stored my comic books in chronological order so it would all make sense. Justice League Spectacular #1 Rating: C. I just read the letters pages and it looks like this comic book takes place between JLA #60 and JLA #61! So editorial decided the teams needed to be shaken up and the best way to do it was to disband the League in the regular series, have a special one-shot comic that gets them back together but with a different roster, and then send them back to work in the next issue of the regular series. I guess I should just shove this comic book into the middle of the regular series so when I reread it all again in my 80s, it'll make more sense! Let's close with the worst drawing of Aquaman I've ever seen:

Actually, he looks a little bit like Grunion Guy.

[starkey]

@dxmedstudent​ tagged me to answer some Quarantine Questions! Thanks dude! 💛

Are you staying home from work/school? I’m actually currently being fast-tracked into aaaaa less-than-desirable? job, so the next time you wonder who in the world is winning at life, you know who not to pick out of the line up

If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? Six family members and a dog but hopefully I’ll have some of them evicted by the time I start working, possession being nine tenths of the law and all that

Do you have pets to keep you company? See above, one confused golden retriever who isn’t quite sure if she’s a fan of how much her time and space are being infringed upon

Who do you miss the most? The people who can’t wave at me from their front doors (I live in a small village with a statistically unlikely number of my best friends in it, cause they’ve all crash landed from adult life into their parents’ houses). I really miss the people who I had planned to see when I got home but now can’t

When was the last time you left your home? I took my once-daily  government-authorised walk today through some deserted woods

What was the last thing you bought? Uhhhh bagels.

Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I am simultaneously very bored and also very dreading the day when I become unbored again. I’m also procrastinating studying and shit as well, so like, yeah. We’re teetering closer towards the insanity side of the spectrum every day.

Are you a homebody? I’m a big fan of lazing around the house but I also need constant stimulus and don’t like being told what to do, so my monkey brain is at a bit of an impasse vis a vis this being, like, a win

What movies have you watched recently? What shows are you watching? Currently watching Killing Eve with my brother and his girlfriend and speculating wildly as to how this very niche bit of weird fiction has gained such immense critical acclaim.

An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? lmaoo my entire life got cancelled! I pulled an international multi-airport Indiana Jones and the Temple Of Doom emergency repatriation with fourty-eight hours notice, except in this metaphor I left my fuckin hat and also eight books, a bike, three flatmates, and a half bottle of Laphroaig whiskey

What’s the worst thing that you’ve had to cancel? I had flights to Hawaii, dude. Also, I haven’t seen my grandma since August, that one stings.

What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel? My job I guess???

Do you have any new hobbies? I transiently had legal ownership of a nintendo switch, which I lost almost immediately to my brother and his girlfriend’s twin hungers for Pokemon Shield and Animal Crossing. Is resentfully staring at other people playing a video game a hobby? Probably not. I’m also trying to do nanowrimo and forcing other unfortunate humans to do it also (sorry @fivie)

What are you out of? Nothing, my mother is a one-woman apocalypse survival machine, apparently

What music are you listening to? Nothing! Someone give me something to listen to plssss

What are you reading? I finished a book today actually, so nothing at present. Me and War and Peace are having a staring contest but I haven’t lost yet.

What are you doing for self-care? Every time someone tries to put the news on in my house I shriek-ask what new information it is that they hope to gain, exactly?? and when they can’t provide me with an adequate answer I turn the TV off in a semi-violent manner. Also, antagonising tories on my village’s private facebook group. That one is just for the pure catharsis.

Are you exercising? I am taking myself for a once daily walk to remind my brain that is likes to be alive.

Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? I went to a hairdresser riiiiight before all this shit really kicked into high gear, because I’m fucking prescient and I knew it would be my last opportunity for a while. I am under no circumstances attempting to cut my own hair, that way lies abject fucking disaster.

IIII’m not gonna tag people, cause I know some people are actively avoiding thinking about this shit rn. But if ya wanna do it, go for it! :D

[mainly-kpop]

Surprise

Word count: 2,312

Warnings: angst that's all really. Fluff a bit

Summery: when she finds out she's finally pregnant, she can't wait to tell her fiancé. However, his reaction isn't really the one she was expecting.

Thank you @busaninetyfive for the request, hope you love it 💖

And thank you @lightupmyass for the banner, you’re a saviour as always! 

Sitting on the toilet, pee stick in her hand, she stared down at the test. The little pink lines proving there was another life growing inside of her. She let out a happy squeal. This is what they had been waiting for, what they had been trying for. Ever since they got engaged last year they had been trying non stop. They just wanted a little one so badly, and she was so excited to finally tell him it worked. Finally there was someone half her, half him. Maybe the baby would have his looks, and his talent. Her charm, and her brains, she couldn’t wait to tell him. She had missed her period two months in a row, they were never on time anyways but two months had to be a sign. She giggled with glee, placing the test down on the bathroom worktop and texting the boys quickly. A quick conversation with Jimin had her booked on tomorrow’s flight, ready to fly out and tell the news. She didn’t mention it to Jimin yet. Knowing a secret that big, he wouldn’t be able to keep himself quiet. She told him she wanted to surprise Namjoon, missed him so much and wanted to see him. That was a big enough secret, even that would be burning his tongue.

Throwing a couple necessities into a bag she went to bed, tomorrow was going to be a long day. She couldn’t be more excited for his reaction though.

‘I don’t understand why they’re not getting it!’ Namjoon yelled, slamming the door behind him. Hobi caught it closing it gently, walking into the room he sat down on the couch watching his friend. He paced for a minute before punching the wall out of frustration. A dent appeared in the wall, Hoseok rolled his eyes, great, something else they would have to pay for.

So far they had only been on tour 2 months, and Namjoon had: punched a wall, broken a light, kicked a smoke machine (by accident.) Hobi could see the money leaving his account, screaming to not part with the rest of his cash. Trust him, he was screaming back, trying to grab it.

‘Dude, you need to calm down. It’s hard for them, you’ve never-‘

‘I don’t care how hard it is, if one of the boys gets hurt because they’re not fast enough, this tour is cancelled! Can’t you see that? That if one of us gets seriously injured, we can’t keep going!’ He screamed, clearly the boys weren’t getting this either. Truthfully maybe he was being a bit harsh, the crew were only about half a second out, but that half a second. That’s important in a dance like this, you don’t have that half a second to think ‘oh shit that’s not right.’

‘Joonie, we have done this before. Over and over, it’s not like it’s the first show of the tour. What’s wrong with you?’ He questioned, trying to keep him calm but take his attitude down at the same time. Namjoon brushed him off, ignoring his question completely.

‘It doesn’t matter, go join the rest of the boys. Let me calm down for a minute.’ Hoseok sighed, standing up leaving the room. He didn’t say anything else. He didn’t have to, it was clear he wasn’t in the mood to fuck around.

Leaving the room, he turned the corner, bumping into someone’s shoulder.

‘Hobi!’ She greeted cheerfully, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. He hugged back asking her a bunch of questions.

‘Wow, calm down. I’ll explain as soon as I’ve talked to Joonie, you know where he is?’ She quizzed, raising an eyebrow at his hesitance.

‘Uh, yeah, he’s in there. Word of warning, he’s not in a good mood at all.’ He explained the situation, hoping he may calm down after seeing her. Maybe he just missed her?

‘Joonie? Surprise...’ She spoke, slipping her head through the door. Keeping her voice quiet hoping not to anger him further, but she was hoping he missed her. That he would be excited to see her, the reaction she got however, was not one she had foreseen.

‘Ugh, what are you doing here? Just go home.’ She gulped, man he was mad. He sat on the couch, elbows perched on his knees, head in his hands. She could see how stressed he was, how the veins on his arms popped. He was so mad, and it was ever so slightly terrifying.

‘Sorry, I didn’t want to make you even more upset. I just ran into Hobi, he told me what’s happening. Are you-‘

‘Don’t you dare ask me that, it’s obvious I’m not. Don’t even think of asking me that stupid ass question.’ She frowned, okay, she knew he was mad but he didn’t need to talk down to her like that.

‘I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but you will not talk to me like that.’ She warned, finally getting fed up of his attitude. She was here to share some good news for fuck sake.

‘I think I’m in a hella bad mood right now. You are making it worse, I don’t know what you thought was going to happen with you coming here. Get the next flight home, I don’t need this.’ He waved her off, honestly he felt bad. His entire being was begging him to take the words back, to hug her until she couldn’t breathe. Instead he stood his ground, staring her down until he could see her eyes watering. Was this the end for them? 5 years together, thrown away just like that? Well if that’s how it would be then fine. She sniffed, pulling herself together. Steading her breathing she grabbed hold of her bag pack, nodding stiffly.

‘Fine, then so be it. Don’t expect me to be there when you get home.’ She spoke clearly, letting him know the weight of the situation.

‘Good, no more forcing me to have a baby with you then. Can’t wait.’ Heart sinking, she walked out the door. Did he really not want this? This life growing inside of her, was it all one sided from the start? Regardless, she wasn’t going to abandon this child. She wanted it, she tried for it, so she would keep it no matter the cost.

She decided to pop in and see the rest of the boys before leaving. Opening the door they all waited patiently, watching her movements. They didn’t ask questions, nor did they force her to speak.

‘I just want you guys to know, I love you so much. Just because I won’t be seeing him again, for a while, doesn’t mean I never want to see you again.’ Her voice broke, prompting Yoongi to stand, wrapping a protective arm around her shoulders. ‘I also want you to know, I’m pregnant, and no matter what he wants. I’m keeping it.’ There was a stark silence in the room, nothing but her sniffles to hear. At the other end of the door, ear pressed tightly to the wood, Namjoon stood. Eyes watering and heart hammering, he sobbed quietly.

‘We will help you, you don’t have to go through this alone, we can-‘

‘Jungkook, baby, thank you. It’s okay though, as much as I hate him right now. It doesn’t feel right, he would feel even more awful than he deserves to feel. It’s okay, I can do this alone if I have to. You’ll see when it’s born, I’ll let them know all about their uncles touring the world.’

Namjoon realised very quickly that he fucked up. Quickly packing a bag, not caring at all about the show tonight, he rushed to the airport. Prepared to go back and grovel, he ran into his home, their home. Leaving his bag near the door, he would worry about that after.

His eyes watered the second he stepped into the main room, all homey things gone, all of her, was gone. It looked like a show home, the bookcase practically empty, she left his books and a couple plants. The wardrobe half empty, the cabinet in the bathroom, half empty. Half of his home was gone, half of his heart had gone too.

He slumped down onto the couch, catching something glisten on the coffee table. Her engagement ring sat on the table, kept company by the positive pregnancy test. His whole life pausing in front of him, he lost two people. Not one.

Pregnancy cravings were ass, there’s no other way to put it honestly. The incessant need to eat something grotesquely troublesome grew on her. The rumble in her stomach, and the kicking baby, she couldn’t sleep any more. Groaning she sat up, shuffling to the edge of the bed getting ready to leave.

‘You are already a pain in my ass little one.’ She whispered, stroking her stomach, getting a light kick in return. She smiled, a baby girl, a little girl. She wondered what qualities she would take from her. What things she would have from her father, if anything, she still hoped she had his genes when it came to looks.

‘I don’t understand why we have to stop. We are literally 10 minutes away.’ Yoongi grumbled, clearly just wanting to be back in his bed. It had been 6 months. Six long ass months since he rushed home that day, to beg. To beg for her not to leave, six long months since he lost the two most precious people in his life.

‘We have to stop because Jungkook needs to pee, Jimin wants snacks, Taehyung wants to show Jimin a comic and I need a minute of quiet.’ Namjoon sighed, running his finger tips over his temples.

‘You got 5 minutes boys, don’t be late or we leave without you!’ Jin warned, humour in his tone.

‘What comic was it Tae?’ Jimin spoke casually, watching Jungkook run around the side looking for the toilet.

‘It’s just this one I’ve heard about a lot, it’s meant to be really good. It’s got all this-‘

‘Tae?’ a voice questioned, he turned around confused. He had a cap and a mask on, no one should recognise him...

‘Y/N?’ Jimin questioned back, not quiet believing his eyes. She was bigger, well of course she fucking was. She was 8 months pregnant! She looked rounder in the face too, and if she had been eating anything like what she was carrying in her arms, he could see why. He looked at the snacks, then back at her, she snorted, putting the already open bag, back into her shopping bag.

‘Don’t look at me like that, it’s pregnancy cravings.’ He hummed, stepping forward opening up the bag, Tae staying slightly back, texting.

‘So your baby is craving, pickles, ramen and salted crisps?’ She rolled her eyes at his criticism.

‘I don’t eat them all at the same time, it’s just what I really-‘ She stopped at the sound of her name, the voice making her tear up. Tae grabbed Jimin’s arm, pulling him into another isle. Fuck you Kim Taehyung.

‘Hi.’ Was all she could muster, the ongoing sickness making her queasy. Some people don’t throw up at all, some throw up part of the way through. Well, honestly this had been the worst time of her life. She had been sick the whole way through, her back hurt, her knees ached. She couldn’t concentrate and she was craving her most hated food ALL THE TIME. Worst of all, she didn’t have him.

‘You don’t like pickles.’ He spoke, voice quiet. The last thing he wanted was her to leave, he couldn’t see that happen again.

‘I fucking hate pickles. She seems to love them.’ She chucked, motioning to her massive stomach. He smiled, then his eyes bugged out his head, the shock instantly setting in, he couldn’t help his heart lurching slightly. A happy lump forming in his throat.

‘She? It’s a girl?’ He whispered, taking a step forward. He paused, not sure if him touching was welcome. She nodded, moving her hand out the way, letting him place his hands on her stomach. The baby kicked, moving for the first time in almost an hour. Namjoon choked back a sob, the happiest he had felt in months.

‘I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry. The second you left, I chased you. I got to the airport expecting to find you, I didn’t do the show that night. I must have just missed you. Because by the time I got home, everything was gone. I’m so sorry, I never meant anything I love you so much and I-‘

‘Shut up you idiot, you’re making me want to throw up.’ She laughed, running her thumb under his eye. ‘You look tired, let’s go home.’ She softly spoke, a relieved sigh slipping through his lips. He grabbed her hand, leading her to the car. A few complaints slipping through his lips.

‘I cannot believe you drove here, do you realise what could have happened? You could have been hurt!’ She rolled her eyes buckling her seat belt, finally she could relax. For the first time this whole pregnancy she felt calm, at ease. Happy.

‘Oh, here. I don’t know if you still want it. I’ve kept it on me the whole tour, just in case.’ The little ring, glistening under the streetlight just outside the car. A warm smile fell across her face, she lifted the ring out of the palm of his hand. Looking at it she sighed, slipping it back on her finger.

‘I mean I guess I’ll marry you!’ She spoke, sarcasm thick on her tongue. He laughed through his nose, nudging her shoulder slightly.

‘I love you.’ He whispered, placing a soft kiss on her hand.

‘A horrible mistake really, but I love you too.’

[tyrustrash]

Exhale

Ander grabs his lunch tray from the end of the cafeteria line and stands to the side. He looks around the room. He could sit at his usual table, where Guzman and Polo are sitting at, but still stands and looks. Seeing the entire cafeteria for the first time made his hands shake. People are walking to tables as if it’s programmed in their minds that that table is where they are supposed to be at. He notices all the different cliques: nerds, druggies, soccer players, and all the other groups compromised of kids who were friends since forever. That’s the group he had made with Guzman and Polo. And it’s the group that he’s currently contemplating going to. Guzman notices Ander standing and waves to him, wanting him to come sit with them. Ander gulps. Fear hitting him harder by the second. He knows he shouldn’t be afraid of his friends, but his day so far has been a wreck. He woke up late and missed his first class, he practically failed his pop quiz, and Omar cancelled their date for that night. Although all that was bad, none of that is why he’s afraid right now. The worst thing today, and possibly ever, happened just before lunch. Ander was at his locker getting stuff for his later classes. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Guzman walking with Lu. Lu was on her phone, like always, and she was showing Guzman a video of what Ander could only identify as two guys playing Gay Chicken. Basically it’s a game where two straight guys go for a kiss and whichever one pulls away first is the gay chicken. Ander thought it was a weird game since he wondered why would straight guys even do that. Possibly because if they refused it was proving they were gay? Or they were ‘straighter’ if they participated and didn’t pull back? The more Ander thought about it, the more confused he got. Straight boys are confusing. Anyway, as Guzman was watching the video, Lu asked him if he would ever participate. That comment made Ander listen closely. Guzman chuckled weirdly and shook his head. “Nah. Not my thing.” “What isn’t?” Lu asked as she clicked a different video. This time a different take on the game where the guys touch each other instead of kissing. “You trying to hide something?” Guzman pushes her phone away from him. “I’m not into dudes.” “You don’t have to be. It’s just a game.” Lu said as she grinned. She stepped in front of him, stopping them from moving any further. She rubs her hand across his shoulder. “Come on. I think it’ll be so hot to see you try that. The thought of it is already turning me on.” “Listen,” Guzman states with the coldest and most stern voice Ander has ever heard him use. Ander managed to see his face too, and it’s so serious that it makes Ander worry about what he’s about to say. “I will never do that. Ever. You understand me? I’m not gay, bi, or whatever the fuck else. And games are supposed to be fun, and that’s not fun for me. I don’t want to think about that. It’s weird.” Guzman moved past Lu and walked towards his class. Ander closed his locker and sprinted to the bathroom. He locked himself in one of the stalls and cried until it was time for his next class. Now Ander is still standing in the cafeteria with his tray of chicken parmesan, not knowing where he should sit. At this point he doesn’t see any empty seats. Guzman waves again, smiling. That damn smile is so charming and makes him look adorable, but it could also be the smile of a person who hates Ander’s kind. Another gulp happens before Ander starts slowly moving. He keeps looking around in hope of finding somewhere else to sit. Wasting more time by avoiding the table, Guzman got a little impatient and got up to help walk Ander over. He grabs Ander’s shoulder and push him to the chair across from his own. Ander could only stare blankly at Guzman as he sits back down. “What’s up with you?” Guzman asks him. “What were you doing standing there?” Ander couldn’t say the real reason, well, without the extra fear of losing one of his only friends. He picks at his chicken, mumbling. Polo raises an eyebrow and nudges his arm. Ander looks at him, then at Guzman. “Just life, you know. The usual. Thinking about grades and love issues.” Guzman lets out a faint laugh. “Don’t worry about shit like that. Grades are that important unless you’re a teacher’s favorite since the stupid curve that determines your grade before you take tests. And don’t stress about love, you’ll find the right girl eventually. Just keep trying. Maybe use one of those apps to relieve some stress, if you know what I mean.” Ander drops his fork on the tray. He looks down, trying to hold in the tears. Why does straight have to be the default? Why do people automatically assume that you’re attracted to the opposite sex? No one ever assumes that he’s gay, only straight as if heterosexuality is the only possible choice. Ander balls up his hand into a fist and hits his leg. All he wants is to tell the truth but is scared. He just holds in his breath and doesn’t say anything. He looks up at Guzman as he eats. Guzman takes a bite of his turkey sandwich and then takes a sip of his Powerade. All the while the movement is causing his silver chain with the cross on it to shake and bounce on his chest. Ander has noticed that cross from time to time and has never thought anything of it. He knows Guzman is Christian, but he has never really talked about it or mentioned anything he was against because of his religion. Now Ander might be thinking there was one thing he was against. Wiping off some mayonnaise from his lips, Guzman looks Ander in his eyes. “Bro, what’s wrong?” Polo nods slightly. Finally being able to say something. “You’re worrying us.” Ander looks between the two, his teeth clattering because of how nervous he is. He attempts to open his mouth to say something, but fails to find the words. Instead, he shoves the rest of his food into his mouths and leaves the table. He manages to swallow everything just as he turns the corner and exit the cafeteria. He barely walks far before he feels a grip around his wrist. He stops and turns around, seeing Guzman behind him. Guzman lets go, but looks even more concerned than before. Ander wanted to leave, but his feet prevented him. The only thing moving were tears from Ander’s eyes. “What’s going on?” Guzman asks him. His voice is stern, yet concerned and caring at the same time. His eyes show that this is the most important moment in the world. “And don’t say nothing. I know you, and something is bothering you.” Ander cries harder when he takes another look at the cross necklace. He looks to his left and sees a row of lockers and decides to punch it relentlessly. Guzman immediately stops him by grabbing his hand. “The hell, man!” “I hate myself!” Hearing that, Guzman grew even more worried. He had never seen Ander act like this, not even when he was almost failing every class and might have had to repeat a year. Guzman is near panicking because he doesn’t know what’s going on. “Just talk to me.” “You’ll hate me.” Ander tells him in between sobs. Tears keep coming and snot was running. Normally he would be scared to show this type of emotion in front of his friends, but he didn’t care. He thought that his friendship isn’t going to last any longer. Why would it even stay. Guzman has certain believes and they probably disagree with him. Guzman breathes deep and rests his hand on Ander’s shoulder. He looks him in the eyes and says, “Never. You’ll always be my friend. No matter what, I can handle it.” Ander manages to calm down a little, but still is freaking out internally. Sure, he’s supportive now, but in a few minutes everything will change. He’ll never want to be friends again once he knows the truth. His face will soon feel the pain is hand is feeling once Guzman finds out. “I’m, I-“ Ander stutters. He doesn’t want to finish, but there’s no going back now. “I’m gay.” Silence. Neither one is able to talk. The longer the silence continues, the more Ander grows worried. The more Ander’s fears are piling up. He wants to continue hitting the lockers, but Guzman is still holding his hands. Guzman gives a small nod and sighs. “You’re gay?” Ander nods. “Why haven’t you told me yet?” Guzman’s voice sounds like he’s hurt. “I thought I was your best friend.” Ander is in complete shock. He wasn’t expecting this type of response. He was expecting a more violent and slur filled hate speech from him. “What? You’re not mad?” “I’m mad that you didn’t tell me sooner. I’m mad that you would think I would me mad.” “You’re a Christian.” “So.” Guzman says while sighing. He rubs his hand through his blond hair. He shakes his head in disbelieve at what Ander said. “I’m a Christian, not an asshole.” “What?” “Yeah, I have beliefs. And they are to accept people for who they are and not discriminate, to be a good person, and to not judge others. You really think I’m one of those homophobic jerks?” Ander cries harder. He doesn’t want to be around Guzman because of him making himself look so stupid. “I’m so sorry. I thought because of your religion, you wouldn’t like me and wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.” “That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t care that you like guys.” “What about earlier. When Lu showed you those videos.” “I didn’t say what I said because of homophobia. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Just before that I was told that I couldn’t get out of a dinner party my parents set up and I was pissed. I let my emotions get the best of me.” “God, I’m so stupid.” Ander continues to cry. Guzman pulls him in for a hug, letting Ander place his head on his shoulder. Guzman pats his back, comforting him. “No, you’re not. You’re my friend, forever and always. I love you, Ander. You’re my best friend.” For the first time today, Ander calms down, no longer crying. The feeling of being this close to Guzman and having his arms wrapped around him feels so soft and comfortable. He also feels like the biggest idiot for ever thinking Guzman would ever hate him. “Hey, Ander.” Guzman says. Ander muffles a response wince his head is still in Guzman’s shoulder. “How about you come over to my house over school and stay the night. We can have an old-fashioned bro night. You can tell me more about who you are, and about any boys you like.” Ander smiles for the first time today. He feels so free from any restraint. He actually has an ally in his life that is completely supportive. At last, he can exhale and let go of all his stress and worries.

[kiruuuuu]

I’m not even ashamed to admit this hit me right in the thirst, @taleously! I adore these two, so thank you for this :) (Rating T, humour/fluff, ~1.5k words)

.

“- without even realising, I am holding the grenade all of a sudden and all I hear is this choir of dudes chanting ‘hot potato’ over and over -” Bandit breaks off as soon as he collides with Smoke who froze directly in the doorway to the workshop, so the two stumble inside, basically falling over each other and cursing under their breaths. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?!”

Since they attracted everyone’s attention except for two people who continue talking as if nothing happened, Smoke feels free to simply stare for a bit longer, feast his eyes on the human masterpiece illuminating the entire room with his dazzling appearance. Despite knowing nothing about art, Smoke is dead certain he’s witnessing a magnum opus which has come alive and somehow found its way to their base, a walking and talking sculpture currently engrossed in something technical and too high for him, utterly unaware of its own grace.

“Yo, Porter. Is someone else using your brain? Hello?”

He ignores Bandit a little longer in favour of basking in the presence of such ravishing beauty. He lacks the words to convey just how smitten he is, how pure and innocent his admiration, how deep the impression runs which has been left behind by the image before him, how permanent the imprint in his mind. It’s impossible to put into simple terms as nothing speech produces will ever adequately describe what he’s seeing but he makes the attempt nonetheless, scrapes together every last bit of wit and wisdom left over after his composure has been short-circuited, shattered upon entering to express his wonder.

Smoke blurts out: “He’s so fucking hot.”

Bandit looks at him weird and follows his gaze to the corner of the room where Twitch and Mute are working together on something resembling an engine. Probably due to the nature of their work today, they’ve both donned more casual clothes that are intended to get dirty, and dirty they did get. Mute’s sleeveless undershirt has long bidden farewell to its pristine white colour, making way for greasy handprints and a variety of smudges and yet it’s the most appealing thing Smoke has seen in his entire life. He’d give a foot to be allowed to wear it. Not only does it flatter Mute’s physique, it also draws attention to his upper arms which are usually maliciously hidden from the rest of the world – clearly with ill intent as the mere sight of them probably cures depression at one glance. It certainly does with Smoke. Mute’s hair is sweaty, dishevelled and falling into his eyes, and the fact that he looks like he just bit into a lemon doesn’t diminish Smoke’s urge to bite into him.

“We have to break the air conditioning”, Smoke adds and pictures it in his thoughts, fantasises about sweat dripping and white fabric turning transparent and -

“There’s no fucking air conditioning, you perv. Stop leering and move.”

“If I have to take my eyes off him for a single second, I’m literally going to drop dead.” He cranes his neck to keep watching Mute’s every move even as Bandit drags him to a table at the other end of the room. “Holy shit. Look at him. Where’s my guarantee that no one else is gonna flirt with him? What happened to the slightly arrogant but still totally fuckable nerd?”

“You mean the guy who has to be physically restrained so he doesn’t mount you immediately?”

“Yeah, that one”, Smoke agrees distractedly, his eyes steadfastly glued to Mute who’s pushing a few brown strands back but ends up smearing more soot onto his forehead which Smoke would lick off without hesitation were he allowed. “He so wants me, Dom, I’m telling you. Maybe he’s trying to flirt with me, maybe that’s what’s going on. Jesus Christ, this has to be on purpose. Do you think he sucks good dick?”

“Clearly, he chose to wear this for no reason other than to turn you into a randy ferret. And I don’t know, want me to ask him for a demonstration?”

“Keep your bloody hands off him. Not that it matters, he’s obsessed with me, but don’t even think about tainting him.” Smoke bites his lip as he watches Mute stretch, the muscles in his arms showing. “Oh man. He wants me so bad.”

“How come you’ve not asked him out then?”

“Because he’s so fucking far out of my league he might as well be playing a different sport entirely”, Smoke replies absent-mindedly and only realises what he’s just said when Bandit cocks an eyebrow at him. “I mean – that’s probably what he thinks. Or rather the image he has to uphold. You know, he’s this studious, serious, skilled teacher’s pet who shouldn’t get this turned on by an idiot like me, but there he is, dick rising as predictably as the morning sun whenever he sees me and nothing he can do about it.”

“So he’s currently consumed with desire, is that what you’re telling me?”

Both of them glance over to where Mute is fastening some screws while apparently joking around with Twitch, both of them visibly comfortable with each other and the sight feels like a stab to his heart. Like this, covered in grime and working with his hands, he’s painfully sexy and much more approachable than when he’s reading anything with a title which already flies over Smoke’s head – he looks like someone Smoke would actually chat up and that’s the whole problem. Because usually, everyone chats up the guys he likes. “Yeaaah”, he says very slowly.

The German opposite him snorts. “He’s pretty good at hiding it, isn’t he? What if he’s really a prude?”

“He can be a pillow princess for all I care, all he has to do is take it. I’d make his pretty body dance under my fingertips, you know? Play him like a fiddle, make him beg, make him scream, that sort of thing.”

“Is that so? Let him know, why don’t you?” And, much to Smoke’s horror, he turns to the person in question and yells: “Oi, Mark! Got a minute?”

“No no no, wait, wait”, he whispers and breathes a sigh of relief when Mute replies without even looking up: “I’m busy.”

“See, he’s busy, you best not disturb him, he gets cranky when -”

“Trust me, you’ll want to hear this. Porter is just telling me all the things he’d like to do to you.” This time, all conversation halts. Pairs of eyes slide over to Smoke who can feel blood rushing to his cheeks even as he tries to stay nonchalant and let none of his actual panic show on his face. He suspects he’s failing horribly, however, judging by Mute’s entirely unimpressed expression.

The young man says something to Twitch, making her laugh, and then walks over and if Smoke wasn’t dying inside already, now it’s much worse. Because not only does he have no idea what to say but also Mute’s so close all of a sudden, radiating heat and smelling like grease and heaven. “Shoot.” He’s looking down at Smoke expectantly and with a look of go on, I dare you to embarrass yourself.

“I uh”, Smoke responds and ignores Bandit’s wide grin, “how about – let’s go for some drinks? Later? If you have time? That’s, uh, I’d like to go for a few drinks. That’s it. I mean, that’s all. Don’t listen to Dom.”

“I’m not even saying anything”, Bandit murmurs, highly amused.

Mute examines him thoughtfully for a few seconds during which Smoke’s cheeks darken considerably. “I’m not deaf”, he announces, “and you’re a twat. You pay, but talk about me like that again and it’s cancelled. Deal?”

His face is burning by now because oh God Mute heard him and how much did he actually hear, so it takes a moment to register that he actually agreed. Stupidly, he babbles: “Yes, of course, thank you, I’m – yes. Deal. Let’s do it. Yes.” Mute just shakes his head again with an involuntary smile and returns to his previous task, leaving Smoke gaping and staring after him, marvelling at the back view of his body which is no less phenomenal than the front and he did it. He asked him out. He can panic later, for now he needs to contain the tremendous joy bubbling up in him.

“He likes you”, Bandit comments with a smirk, “fancy that.”

Oh I fancy him alright, Smoke’s brain provides helpfully while his mouth blurts: “I told you he’s thirsty for my cock.”

“Aaaand cancelled!”, Mute calls from the other side of the room.

Smoke can hear Bandit laugh the entire time he quietly pleads to his teammate, begging him to reconsider as Mute’s grin simply grows the longer he talks.

[caslikescoffeeandfreckles]

Hello again! This is a belated birthday offering to my first born child, light of my life and future ruler of the gays @asexualcas. Happy birthday, Bri! Love you always <3

Summary: Castielle is in charge of organizing the prom but doesn't have a date. Until one day she finds a box outside her locker with an invitation from a mysterious suitor. But there's only one person Cas truly wants to go with. The problem is: that person is her best friend, Deanna, and Deanna happens to have her eye on someone else. Word count: 7.8k Read on Ao3

Castielle groans and pushes her hands through her hair as if she can find the patience she needs hidden in the mess she hasn’t washed in like — god, what had it been? Four days? Five?

“I said the tulle needs to be draped two feet apart, Garth, not one and a half,” she calls out.

The boy on the ladder looks down at her with a broad smile. “My bad, boss! I’ll fix it!”

She looks down in time to see someone shuffling past her with an armful of white and flags them down. “Hey, hey, hey, what are those?”

Gilda looks like a deer in headlights as she comes to a stop. “Uh, they’re the flowers.”

Cas blinks. “But they’re tulips. I ordered roses.”

Gilda chews on her bottom lip for a moment, looking like she’d rather be facing down a train, before finally blurting, “The school said roses were too expensive.”

Cas feels her eye twitch. “Too expensive?” she echoes. “They slash my budget to a third, make me move venues with just a month’s notice to a smelly old gym, and I can’t even have goddamn roses?”

“I’m really sorry, Cas, but-”

“Oh yikes, I knew I felt a code red somewhere.”

Cas barely spares a glance as her best friend sweeps in, charming smile on full blast and securing an arm over Cas’s shoulder.

“What’s the crisis, ladies?” Deanna asks and the cheer in her voice makes Cas want to grind her teeth.

“The school cancelled my roses,” she all but growls.

Deanna hisses. “All right, I got this, Gilda. You run to safety.”

The other girl doesn’t even hesitate to escape.

Tightening her arm, Deanna steers Cas out of the mess that is the gymnasium. There’s still so much to be done: painting the backgrounds, stringing the lights, putting the stage together. 

“Cas, I know you have a lot going on right now,” Deanna starts when they find a quiet corner. “But you can’t keep scaring people and making them want to jump into a black hole.”

“It’s not like I’m trying to!” Cas protests. “But there’s only a week till prom, the theme sucks, we have no money, and everyone is counting on me to pull some grand magical night out of my ass!”

Deanna’s lips quirk at the outburst but she reigns in the smile and reaches for her friend’s hand. Cas lets her take it. “Hey, hey, I know. It’s a lot. But first, everyone knows that none of this is your fault. They know you can only to do your best with what you’ve been given, which isn’t much because Principal Crowley is a dick. And second, I think the theme is cool as fuck.”

Cas snorts and rolls her eyes. “It’s masquerade, Deanna. It’s the most overdone theme of them all.”

“That doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t be fun. I mean, if we have to spend extra hours in this building outside of school, isn’t it kind of nice that we won’t have to see all these ugly faces?”

This time when Cas snorts, it’s with humor, and she punches her friend lightly. “Now you’re just being mean to cheer me up.”

Deanna grins and it lights up her entire face and not for the first time Cas wonders if the summer green of her eyes are actually glowing or if Cas is just crazy. “Worked like a charm.” She winks and that’s all Cas can take and she looks down.

“I’ll try to ease up,” she promises, looking at the floor. Which could really use a good waxing. She’ll bring that up with the custodian on Monday.

*****

Saturday evening, Cas finds herself walking to the Winchesters’. Deanna had made her swear to a sleepover to make sure she didn’t spend her entire weekend working on prom. Which was irritating but also fair considering Cas had spent her morning and afternoon painting backgrounds and the cheap candelabras they’d found at Hobby Lobby.

When she reaches the house, she gives a soft knock and lets herself in. “Hello?”

“Come on in, sweetie!”

Cas follows the voice to the kitchen. “Hello, Mrs. Winchester. Trying out a new recipe?”

Mary Winchester looks up from the cookbook she’s staring at like it’s encrypted and smiles at Cas. “I was going to make an attempt but I think I’ll play it safe and just order pizza.” She closes the book and pushes it away with great pleasure. “How have you been?”

Cas shrugs out of her backpack and drops it in one of the empty chairs at the table next to Deanna and Sam’s. “Not too bad. Keeping busy with prom and finals.”

Mary makes a sympathetic sound. “I can only imagine. Dee’s been out there all day working on a ramp or something.”

“A ramp?”

Mary just shrugs. “Something about a terrace and a ball. I don’t know. I’m gonna go ahead and order. You can go on out and tell Dee dinner will be here in about thirty minutes.”

Glaring with suspicion, Cas opens the back door and makes her way across the Winchesters’ back yard. There’s a loud roar coming from the work shed, followed by some clanging, and Cas waits until it quiets to knock on the door. She’s learned by now never to just walk in or she’s likely to lose an eyebrow or a hand.

There’s some more clanging and then shuffling and a moment later, the door swing opens. Deanna stands there, skin shining with a layer of sweat, tank top clinging to her body and her trusty flannel tied around her waist. She’s got her hair pulled back and huge goggles sitting on top of her head. It’s almost silly but also somehow the hottest thing Cas has ever seen and her mouth feels dry as a desert. 

Deanna grins and motions Cas inside. “Hey, Cas! Step on in and see where the magic happens.”

Cas follows slowly. “Were you... welding?”

The shed is hot and could use some better lighting but she can make out the array of tools lining the walls on pegs or tossed into the dozen-and-a-half tool boxes Deanna shares with her dad. This is where they work on cars together, usually some old classics John lucks into at junk yards. 

But instead of a busted engine taking up all the space, today it’s some sort of large rounded frame. 

“What is this?”

“Right now, it’s shit,” Deanna says with a sigh. “But it’s gonna be... this.” She goes to the work bench and grabs a piece of paper and hands it to Cas.

It’s a balcony like right out of a Disney movie with intricate balusters and a dark stone appearance. 

Cas looks at her best friend as if she’s lost her mind. “You’re going to make this?”

Deanna shrugs. “Yeah. Once I get the frame done, Charlie and I are going to mold foam around it and paint it to look like stone, and I then I can just attach it to the stage. I already took the measurements.”

“What? When?” She didn’t remember seeing Deanna in the gym with a damn tape measure and there’s no way Cas would have missed it because she’s practically in that room more than she’s in class.

“When you were busy yelling at Garth about fake candles or something.”

“I didn’t yell at him,” Cas grumbles.

Deanna laughs and takes her blueprint back. “You literally told him to stick the ones with the orange-tipped flames up his ass.”

A shameful blush burns across Cas’s cheeks. “Well... they looked tacky.”

“Yeah, okay, promzilla,” she mumbles and reaches for her water bottle

Cas glares. “Were you ever going to tell me about this?”

Deanna nods as she swallows and Cas does not at all track the movement of her throat. “Yeah. To be honest, I was considering saving it as a surprise and having you walk in Friday and just find it there. But then I thought how shitty would it be if you put all this work into a dance and died of a heart attack the night before. So I’m letting you know now.”

“How considerate of you.”

Deanna’s smile is smug. “I try.”

Cas looks between her friend and the frame and shakes her head. “Why... why are you doing this?”

The smug grin softens into a sweet smile and Deanna’s eyes fall to the floor and she rubs the back of her neck. It’s a reaction she has often and it always manages to catch Cas’s breath. Somehow endearing but also heartbreaking because if this was a story, it would be a sign. A giveaway for Cas to know that maybe...

“Because I knew it would make you happy, dude.”

But no.

Cas breathes slowly and manages to smile in turn. “Well, thank you, Deanna.” 

They fall into a short silence, neither looking at each other. 

“Um, your mom is ordering pizza for dinner,” Cas says, breaking it. “Said it should be here in thirty.”

It seems to do the trick because Deanna perks up and makes a face. “Ugh, I need to shower before dinner then. I must smell like a lumberjack.” She sniffs at herself and wrinkles her nose. “Oh god, maybe even worse.”

Cas follows Deanna out of the shed and back into the house. Deanna goes to shower and Cas makes herself comfortable in Deanna’s room. 

The pizza arrives when Deanna is still cleaning up so Cas fixes both their plates and brings them back to the room.

She’s on the bed watching Netflix and about to take a bite when the door opens and Deanna walks in in just a towel. 

“Woo! That felt amazing!” Deanna says with deep enthusiasm as she moves toward her dresser.

And Cas just stares like a fucking creep until a glob of cheese falls on her lap and she jumps. She picks it up and puts it safely on her plate and keeps her eyes firmly on her computer screen while Deanna changes.

Once Deanna is dressed, she joins Cas on the bed and takes her plate with a grateful smile settles in close to watch the show. She smells amazing, like coconut and vanilla, and she’s nice and warm and soft and Cas is nearly high with it. 

The lack of boundaries between Cas and Deanna is like a blessing and a curse. A blessing because not many people allow Cas to get this close to them anymore. A curse because Cas longs to be closer with every cell in her body.

“You know,” Deanna says after some time when they’ve finished eating and they’re just cuddling. “With all this prom mess, I keep forgetting to ask you who you’re going with.”

Cas frowns. “I’m not going with anymone.”

Deanna sits up suddenly. “What do you mean? Hasn’t anyone asked you?”

“No.”

“But you’re the one organizing the entire dance.” Deanna sounds outraged.

Cas sighs. “Deanna, there are only like three queer women at our school and two of them are dating each other. I would never want to go with a boy and no straight girl is going to ask to even go as friends because they don’t want people to start talking or assuming things.”

Deanna pouts as Cas lays the truth out. “But you’re putting so much work into this. You shouldn’t have to go alone.”

Cas shrugs. Honestly, she doesn’t think it’s fair either, but it’s not like there’s anything she can do about it. There’s only one person she’d want to go with anyway.

“What about you? Have you decided who you’re going with?”

Deanna had been collecting offers since March. It wasn’t surprising. Deanna was universally beautiful with her long blonde hair, flawless freckled skin, and bright green eyes. And there wasn’t a person in their school who she didn’t call friend. She’d been asked out by someone from all circles, from the theater club to the third baseman of the baseball team. But to Cas’s knowledge, she still hadn’t accepted any.

Deanna sighs and gets back into her comfortable position, resting her head on Cas’s shoulder. “Not yet. But I have someone in mind. Someone who I want to ask. Someone special.”

Cas tries not to make a sound when her heart aches and instead runs through all of their close mutual friends who could have piqued Deanna’s interest. Garth? Benny? Victor?

“Uh, kind of last second to be asking someone, don’t you think?”

Deanna hums. “Yeah, but I think they’ll agree that it’s worth the wait.”

The affection in Deanna’s voice is beautiful and crushing. So Cas doesn’t say a word and just stares at the screen in front of her, praying for this to all end soon.

*****

Monday morning is a nightmare. Cas called Benny over early with the promise of donuts and coffee to help her load the backgrounds into his truck and drive them to school.

She can’t help but watch him as they drive. Of all their friends, Benny is probably the closest male friend Deanna has. The most “special.” Cas had never saw reason to suspect an attraction between, but she supposed now it wouldn’t be ludicrous. They were both very attractive people with similar interests. They were both athletes, very family driven, and loved food that would either rot their teeth or land them in a diabetic coma. 

He could be the one Deanna planned on asking.

Cas considers prying but bites her tongue. She doesn’t need to know anymore than she already does or she’s just going to hurt herself. 

So they unload the backgrounds with easy talk about school and finals. Cas pays up on the donuts and coffee and they go their separate ways for first period. 

The day is long and tedious and Deanna’s usually sunny appearances don’t seem to warm Cas quite the same.

The last bell finally rings and Cas makes her way to her locker. Every part of her just wants to go home but she has a few hours to put into the gym at least and then homework before she can just face plant into her bed and ignore the world.

As Cas nears her lockers she notices a crowd forming. Frowning, she forces her way through until she can see what’s drawn all of the attention.

There are velvet ropes leading up to her locker and resting at the foot of it is a wooden box. 

“What’s all the fuss about?”

Cas turns and finds Charlie at her elbow, the redhead looking confused but also ready to burst out laughing any second. 

“Isn’t that your locker?” she asks and Cas nods. “Aren’t you going to open it?”

“I’m a little scared to.”

Charlie laughs and gives Cas a small shove. “Come on, I wanna see what it is.”

So Cas carefully  steps between the ropes and bends to pick up the box. It has beautiful gold accents and a swirling design and she takes a moment to just run her fingers over it. But she can feel the crowd buzzing around her with curiosity so she relents and opens it. 

There’s a card, just as beautiful as the box with her name is curly gold lettering. She opens it and reads the message:

My dearest lady and angel

Who walks in beauty like a psalm

I humbly ask for your consideration

In accompanying me to prom

Should you agree I’ll have never known

Such happiness and wonder

To show you accept please take my gift

And meet me at 9 where feet become the thunder

Cas’s hand is shaking as she moved the card and sees the gift. It’s a mask of black late and beautiful silver stitching and beads lining the edges. It’s stunning and better than anything she could ever hope to find at a Party City or costume store. 

She turns with it in hand and Charlie is just behind her. “What is it?” she asks with burning excitement. 

“I think...” Cas starts and loses her voice for a moment. “Uh, I think it’s someone asking me to prom.”

The students around her break into applause and Cas tries to hide her blush. She puts the mask and the invitation back in the box and awkwardly navigates through everyone and to the gym. She never even opens her locker.

*****

By lunch on Tuesday, Cas has spent pretty much every waking hour wondering about that box and who could have left it.

It’s just insane! Things like this don’t happen — especially not to her. She had been prepared for the ostracization that came with coming out two years ago. She’d of course kept her core group of friends — which in fact included the other two gay women of the student body. It was the rest of the school that changed. She wasn’t met with hostility but there was definitely a quiet around her, a little more distance put between her body and those of her peers, and definitely some... questionable means to changing in the locker room.

And it’s not like Cas had been well-liked before. Deanna said she could come off a little intense and occasionally conceited. Cas just wrote it off as rusty people skills.

Either way, nothing led to this possibility: a mysterious invitation to prom in what Cas is reluctant to see as quite adorable and romantic fashion. 

Charlie had kept calling it a promposal yesterday as they’d continued preparing the gym. Between Charlie’s big mouth and all the people who had witnessed it personally, everyone on Cas’s staff knew about the box and it was the talk of the evening. She’d had to snap at people more than a few times to get them refocused on their assigned tasks rather than her potential prom date.

“Oh, what’s that smile for?”

Cas blinks and suddenly Deanna is there, claiming the seat opposite her at the lunch table. 

“Must be dreaming about her mystery suitor,” Charlie sings as she joins them. 

Cas almost touches her lips, not even aware she’d been smiling. She tries to tone it down even as Deanna beams.

“What?” she almost yells. “Mystery suitor? What’s that about?”

“Cas got a promposal yesterday! From a secret date she’s supposed to meet at the dance.”

“Oh my god, Cas! That’s awesome! Are you gonna do it?”

Even though Cas had put the possibility out of her head right away, it still hurt to hear Deanna so happy at the thought of Cas going to prom with someone else.

“I-I haven’t decided yet.”

“What?” both Deanna and Cas screech.

Cas gives a small shrug and pokes at her french fries. “I appreciate the gesture, but this person is a stranger. There’s no way to guarantee it’s a woman whose actually interested in me and I don’t want to get my hopes up. How do I know it’s not just some meat head trying to Carrie me?”

Deanna and Charlie share a look. “You think this could be a trap?” Charlie asks.

Again, Cas shrugs. “I’m just considering all the possibilities.”

“Cas,” Deanna says softly and reaches for her hand. Cas hates when she does this. She looks up into those summer green eyes and tries hard not to face plant in her food. “Don’t do this. Don’t just run through every possible bad scenario and scare yourself out of this. Someone wants to take you to prom. You should be happy.”

Cas grimaces. “Unless that someone just wants to pour pig’s blood over me or hang me from the bleachers.”

“Jesus Christ, Cas!” Deanna gasps and releases her hand.

“Cas, I think you’re thinking about this a little too hard,” Charlie says weakly, looking a little ashen.

Cas looks between the two of them and frowns. “I don’t think you guys fully understand the vulnerability of my situation. Deanna, is practically the poster child of the all-American heterosexual dream girl-”

“Hey!” Deanna cries, sounding deeply offended. 

“And Charlie, everyone has known about you basically since elementary school and you’ve been dating Gilda almost half of our lives. You’re both loved and accepted while I’m casted as the evil lesbian just because I don’t smile and gravel every time someone has the basic human decency to say ‘hi’ in the hallway.” Cas’s voice lowers to a growl as she finishes her sentence and she glares at her two friends. “So please excuse me if I have a few reservations about receiving an invitation to prom from a stranger just five days before the actual dance.” She stands with her half-eaten lunch.

“Wait, Cas,” Deanna starts.

“I need to finish something in the gym,” is all Cas offers as a goodbye.

*****

Wednesday evening is a nauseating mix of relief and anxiety. All of the painting was finished the day before, so Cas and her crew were able to clean up the tarps and have the floors waxed last night. Now they have the stage set up and and they’re arranging the backgrounds to cast the perfect setting for a masquerade ball. 

Everything is finally coming together and it looks like they’re actually going to pull this off. 

And then Deanna comes through the gym’s side doors with Benny and her father and every instinct in Cas urges her to hide.

They haven’t spoken since Cas’s blowup at lunch yesterday aside from a few apologetic texts from Deanna. Cas hadn’t been able to bring herself to respond and she feels like an asshole now more than ever.

Their eyes catch from across the gym and Deanna offers a small wave. Cas returns the gesture awkwardly and watches Deanna turn back to her dad. They prop the double doors open and a second later, with Benny’s help, the three of them carry the balcony inside. 

Cas tries really hard not to stare and observe the way Deanna’s muscles tense and flex as she lifts her side of the frame — but goddammit, she’s wearing those cutoff shorts Cas loves that show off her beautiful bow legs and Cas is only human, okay?

“Hey, boss?”

Cas turns her head and finds Garth watching her. There’s a knowing glint in his eye and she refuses to acknowledge. 

“Yes, Garth?”

“How many sconces do you want per panel?” He holds one of them up, another cheap prop she’d gotten on sale at Hobby Lobby.

“Just one in the center of each panel,” she instructs. 

He nods and starts to wander off. 

“And remember they need to be six feet from — actually, I’ll just come with you.”

She spends the next twenty minutes watching Garth and Aaron install each sconce exactly six feet from floor level and making sure none of them hung crooked.

Once she could trust them to finish the last few on their own, she left and found Deanna and her crew finishing up. Taking a breath, she finally walks over. 

John Winchester spots her first and smiles as he wipes the sweat from his forehead. “Hey there, Cas. Place is looking good.”

Deanna doesn’t look up from where she’s tightening something and Cas tries not to feel it like a punch to the gut.

Instead, she smiles at John. “Thank you, Mr. Winchester. I’ve had a lot of help.”

“It’s really no wonder considering the tight ship Cas runs around here,” Benny jokes as he climbs down from the stage.

John chuckles. “Yeah, I’ve heard some stories from Deedee.”

“Dad,” Deanna whines at the nickname. “Please not here.”

John’s smile is mischievous. “Oops. Guess I better get out of here before I embarrass my kid to death before she even gets to go on her hot date.”

There’s not enough willpower in the world to keep that one from landing like a punch. “Hot date?” Cas asks says, her voice cracking.

“Oh yeah, she’s been talking about her amazing prom date all week. Won’t tell anyone who the hell it is but it’s got her smiling all day long. Been playing love songs in the shed and everything.”

“Oh my god, Dad!”

John laughs off Deanna’s horror-stricken face. “That’s my cue,” he says and grabs his tool box. “See you around, kids.”

“I’m gonna head out too,” Benny says. “Deanna, you good?”

“Yeah,” Deanna says, eyes on the ground. 

“All right. See you tomorrow!”

They’re left alone. Cas has never felt this uncomfortable around her best friend — besides maybe during her summer of questioning and Deanna stripped right in front of her because honestly the girl has no sense of modesty.

Similar to that moment, Cas feels like she can’t look at her friend, can’t say a word, without destroying everything she’s worked so hard to keep.

“Uh, the place really does look good,” Deanna says quietly as if she senses the same potential dangers as Cas.

“Thanks,” Cas replies. “And this- this looks amazing,” she says, gesturing to the balcony. “I really can’t thank you enough for going out of your way to do this.”

“Oh. Yeah. It was nothing.”

It’s the most Deanna response Cas has ever heard.

“So you- you asked your date.”

“Hmm?”

“To prom,” Cas clarifies. “You asked your prom date out?”

Deanna clears her throat. “Uh, yeah. I did.”

Cas nods her head. They’re still not looking at each other and she feels ridiculous. “Well, that’s good. I’m glad.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Deanna says roughly. “And, uh, about yours... I, uh.” 

Cas hears Deanna take a deep breath and then feels a warm hand slipping into hers and she finally looks up. Deanna is looking right at her, meeting her eyes and it’s too much and Cas wants to run away and lean in and just risk it all.

“Cas, I’m really sorry about yesterday.” 

Cas shakes her head because this isn’t what she wants to talk about right now with Deanna’s hands in her and her lips just a few inches away. “It’s fine. I’m sorry for blowing up at you-”

“No, let me,” Deanna pleads. “I was an ass and I wasn’t thinking about you. I know this is harder for you — it shouldn’t be, but it is and I’m sorry for not being more understanding.”

Cas wants to just wave it off but knows it won’t do either of them any good. So she says, “Thank you,” and offers a smile.

Deanna grins back. “Any time. Guess I should let you get back to work.”

Cas looks over her shoulder at her crew running around and sighs. “Yeah.”

Deanna squeezes her hand. “I’ll see you later, ‘kay?”

Cas squeezes back. “Okay.”

*****

Thursday feels quiet and fragile. 

Deanna seems to be lingering around more than usual, popping up at times Cas isn’t used to seeing her. And she has this soft smile and there are gentle touches and special gazes and it’s completely disorienting and more than wonderful.

Cas has dreamed of something like this for years, being the center of Deanna’s world. Having wordless permission to touch and stare and love proudly and loudly.

It’s everything she could want and and for whatever reason today she has it.

And it hurts.

Because nothing has really changed. Deanna isn’t confessing her love, she’s not saying that she’s wanted to be more than friends for years now or that she’s realized what her feelings for Cas really mean and she’s not asking Cas to go to prom. They’re not holding hands down the halls or kissing. 

They’re just friends.

And they’ll stay friends until life finally makes them separate and they drift apart until they’re just a fond memory of easier times.

This isn’t love. It’s not a romance.

Deanna has someone “special” and she’s taking them to prom. 

All Cas has is a pretty mask and an anonymous offer. 

“So have you decided if you’re going to meet your secret admirer or not?” Deanna asks as they leave the gym that evening.

Everything is finished. They’ll spend a few hours tomorrow cleaning up and won’t see it again until Saturday night.

Saturday when Deanna will arrive and stand on that balcony she built with someone else and Cas will...

“No.”

Deanna looks at her. “No, like you still haven’t decided?”

“I’m not going to go.”

“Oh.” 

She registers the disappointment in Deanna’s voice but chooses not to internalize it.

“Why not?”

Cas sighs. “I don’t think I’m going to go at all.”

“Wait, like to prom?”

“Yes.”

Deanna stops moving and reaches out for Cas to stop her. “Why?” she asks, and it almost sounds desperate. 

Cas avoids her eyes, not wanting to betray any information she wasn’t ready to share. “I don’t want to go anymore.”

“B-but why?”

“I don’t know, Deanna. It just... doesn’t feel special anymore.”

“But everything you’ve done-”

“Has made these last few weeks the most stressful time of my life,” Cas interrupts. 

“Exactly!” Deanna cries. “So don’t you think you deserve to enjoy it? You did all of this, Cas.”

Cas squints at her. “Why does it matter so much to you? It’s not like we’re going together.”

Deanna reels back. “I-I don’t- I just don’t want for all of your hard work to go to waste.”

“It won’t. Everyone else will have a great time.”

“But you-”

Cas holds up a hand and closes her eyes, past her limit. “Please. I’m tired, Deanna. I just want to be done with it.”

Deanna doesn’t respond, still staring almost dumbfounded, and slowly deflates, arms dropping to her sides. Defeated. “Okay, Cas.”

They hesitate before both heading to Deanna’s car. They don’t speak as Deanna drops Cas off at home, barely say a goodbye when Cas climbs out.

She gets up to her room and falls on her bed, staring up at the ceiling and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had just broken something beyond repair.

*****

It rains on Friday. It’s the perfect setting for how Cas feels walking into the school.

Everyone else seems to be buzzing, the seniors excited for tomorrow and chatting about their beautiful outfits and how they’re going to style their hair. 

Cas tries to drown it out and go about her day.

She notices Deanna’s absence almost right away but doesn’t seek her out. It somehow feels right that they’re avoiding each other and Cas doesn’t have the energy to try to fix it.

She’s the first to arrive for lunch and snags the usual table. Charlie and Gilda and Benny find her a few minutes later.

“Hey, have you seen, Deanna?” Charlie asks around bites of her pizza.

“No.”

“Hmm, I wonder where she’s been hiding. Benny, you seen her?”

“Nope.”

Cas frowns. “You mean none of you have seen her all day?”

The three shake their heads.

Cas feels worry creep into her chest and squeeze her lungs. It’s not like Deanna to skip school. Could it have been because of their conversation yesterday?

Cas glances at a clock bids her time. With just a few minutes to go, she takes one more bite of her lunch and stands. “I gotta go.”

She tosses her trash and hurries into the hallway as the bell rings. She catches sight of a shock of shaggy brown hair and runs to tap them on the shoulder.

Sam Winchester turns around with a frown but smiles when he recognizes Cas. “Hey, Cas!”

“Hi, Sam. Uh, where is your sister?”

The younger teen’s frown returns. “Mom and Dad let her stay home today.”

“Is she sick?”

Sam shrugs. “Dad woke up and found her in the shed tearing up an old hood.”

Cas’s stomach sinks. “Did- did she say what was wrong?”

She can see the worry in Sam’s hazel eyes as he moves closer. “We think her date dumped her. She was super upset last night but after this morning, we were all a little scared to ask questions. So Mom and Dad agreed to let her skip. Mental health day, I think.”

Cas has no idea how to respond. She can’t imagine how Deanna must be feeling after having that fight with Cas and then going home and her date who she’d been so excited to ask backing out. 

“Hey, I have to get to lunch,” Sam says, squeezing Cas’s hand. He’s more like his sister than he’ll ever realize. “But you should talk to her. You always seem to be able to make her feel better.”

He disappears into the rushing crowd before Cas can say anything.

After a lot of back and forth, Cas decides to follow Sam’s suggestion and talk to Deanna. She starts by sending a text later that afternoon. There’s no immediate response, which Cas had expected, but she gives it more time.

When there’s still no message from Deanna by the time school ends, she starts to feel the worry squeezing on her chest again. 

“You okay, boss?”

Cas looks blankly at Garth who isn’t smiling for once. 

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly.

He inches closer. “You know, if you need to get out of here, we can take care of the rest of this.”

She shakes her head immediately. “No, it’s fine. I need to-”

“Cas,” he cuts her off with was is probably the most stern tone she’s ever heard out of her classmate who still swears by sock puppets and gives out hugs like free candy. “We can handle cleaning up without you here to guide us. Go take care of your business.”

Cas doesn’t move at first, torn between her responsibility and her friend. But in a way, Deanna is her responsibility too. 

She hands her clipboard over. “Thanks, Garth.”

“No problemo.”

She drives to the Winchesters’ and invites herself inside like usual. Deanna is out back again and there’s loud music coming from the shed.

Been playing love songs in the shed and everything.

John’s words echo in her head and her body aches. Her best friend’s heart had been broken and Cas hadn’t been here for her.

She knocks on the door but it’s clear that over the music and the clanging Deanna isn’t going to be able to hear her, so she carefully opens the door.

Deanna has her hair pulled into a chaotic bun on top of her head. There are no safety goggles this time and she has a sledge hammer and is going to town on a beat up Camaro. 

“Deanna!” she calls out but gets nothing.

Cas slides her way over to the radio and cuts the music. Deanna jerks mid-swing and turns around.

“Cas? What are you doing here?”

“I was told you were destroying things and thought I’d check in.”

Deanna looks at the hammer in her hands and slowly puts it down. “I’m fine,” she says and fiddles with her water bottle.

Cas watches her for a moment and arches a brow. “So skipping school to batter a car is typical behavior you’ve just been keeping from me for ten years?”

When Deanna looks up, her eyes are tired and wary. It wipes away any sense of confidence Cas had going into this. She’s never seen that expression on her friend before. It’s almost like looking at a stranger and she doesn’t know how approach her. 

“I’m fine, Cas,” Deanna repeats and drinks her water.

Cas may not know what to do but she’s not going to just give up. “Is this about prom?”

“What?”

“Sam said your prom date may have backed out on you. Is that true?”

Fire flashes through Deanna’s eyes for a second and Cas figures Sam will be in for it later. “It doesn’t matter, Cas.”

“Of course it matters, Deanna. You’re clearly upset about this.”

Deanna fumes. “I’m not upset. It just-” She takes a deep breath and tries to calm herself. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going.”

“What?” Cas almost shrieks. 

She watches Deanna spin around and start cleaning up her mess. There’s broken glass and tools thrown all around the shed. She carefully navigates the area to follow behind her friend.

“What do you mean you’re not going?” she demands.

“Just what I said. I’m not going.”

“But why? Is it because of your date?”

“No, Cas.”

Cas chews her lip. “Is it because of me?”

“What?” Deanna spins around. “Cas, no. I just don’t want to anymore. And you’re not going either so why do you even care?”

The question is shocking and Cas tilts her head. “Because you’re my best friend,” she says as if it’s obvious. And really by now it should be.

Deanna sighs and leans against the broken car. “I can’t do this, Cas.” Even though it’s addressed toward Cas, the way Deanna says it with her chin tucked into her chest is as if she’s speaking to herself. 

Cas’s heart reaches out for her but she keeps her hands by her sides. Her friend looks shattered and Cas would kill the person who did this if she could. All she can do is try to mend some of the pieces and get her friend through the next few days.

“I’ll go.”

Cas doesn’t register the words as her own until Deanna looks up and asks, “What?”

Cas takes a breath. “I’ll go if you go.” Deanna continues to stare and Cas squirms a little, feeling that damn blush run into her cheeks again. “I-I mean, we don’t have to go together. Not like a date or anything like that. But if you’re there then I’ll be there too. And we can make fun of the way people dance together and guess who got high in the parking lot before coming in.” She tries for a smile. “What do you say?”

There’s no change to Deanna’s face for a minute, but slowly her lips twitch and she laughs softly. “I think that’s the best promposal I’ve ever heard.”

Cas throws back her head and laughs. 

Deanna stands and steps closer. “Okay, Cas. I’ll be there if you’ll be there.”

*****

All of Saturday is dedicated to getting read for the dance. 

Cas’s mom was smart enough not to cancel any of her appointments and Cas spends hours in a chair with a strange woman pulling and burning her hair and spraying it with shit until even an explosion couldn’t budge a single strand. 

They get their nails done and then her mom hovers around while Cas has her makeup done because lord knows she could never be trusted to do this shit herself. 

It’s about ten times too much for Cas and she barley recognizes herself in the mirror when it’s all done. She wants to feel silly but she can barely keep the smile off her face and her mother zips up her dress and ties her mask behind her head. 

Cas gets to the school early and helps set up the ticket collection table. She greets students as they arrive and shows them into the gymnasium. She checks on the photographers and the refreshments table a few times, satisfied that everything is going smoothly.

The only thing wrong is that it’s been an hour an there’s been so sign of Deanna. 

Charlie and Gilda show up fashionably late as per usual. Gilda looks lovely in her gold dress and Charlie is as sharp as they come in a black suit. They remove their masks and speak with Cas for a moment.

“Have you heard from Deanna?” she can’t help but ask.

“Not since this morning,” Charlie says. “She was freaking out about what to do with her hair.”

“She isn’t here yet?” Gilda asks.

Cas shakes her head.

“I’m sure she’ll be here,” Charlie consoles. “She’s not one to miss a good party. Hey, you gonna go meet that mystery person?”

In all this mess with Deanna the last few days, Cas had nearly forgotten about her promposal.

Gilda looks at the clock and grins. “Oh yeah! It’s almost nine, Cas!”

Cas frowns. “I don’t know. I just...”

Charlie touches her shoulder, drawing Cas’s attention. Her expression is soft but there’s something almost pleading in her eyes. “You should go, Cas. Trust me.”

Cas squints but before she can ask anything Charlie and Gilda sweep into the gym. 

Cas watches the clock for the next few minutes, stomach in turmoil. Still no sign of Deanna and if she’s going to go then she needs to do it now.

“Oh fuck it,” she says under her breath.

She excuses herself from the table and makes her way outside and across the parking lot.

Meet me at nine where feet become the thunder.

It wasn’t the hard to figure out. She still remembers the first time she attended one of Deanna’s soccer games and how the crowd had stomped on the bleachers, building a roar that vibrated through her body. 

Deanna had made two goals that night and when they’d met up afterward, Deanna still in her uniform which was clinging to her everywhere it could and her eyes still bright with victory and adrenaline, she told Cas how she loved knowing Cas was there, part of the thunder. Cas has hardly missed a game since.

She stands under the bleachers now, waiting for a noise to signal someone else is here. It’s silent for several minutes, just the soft echo of the music coming from the gym.

Then she hears a creek above her and something like a sigh. The metal of the bleachers shakes with footsteps going the opposite direction. Like they’re leaving.

Summoning all of her courage with one breath, Cas climbs the stairs.

“Hey!”

The body moving away freezes. Cas frowns at their figure and takes a few tentative steps toward them. She thinks she can make out light hair and the person is obviously in a suit but they’re very small for a man.

The figure turns around. They’re of course wearing a mask, dark maroon like their suit and they start to come closer and Cas is shocked to find that this is definitely not a man.

“Deanna?”

They freeze. And then remove their masks and the most familiar face looks at Cas bewildered. “How did you know it was me?”

“You really didn’t think I would recognize your legs?” Cas asks as fury floods through her. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Uh, I told you to meet me here.”

“No, this is where I’m supposed to meet the mystery person.”

Deanna crosses the remaining yards between them and smiles. “Yeah, I know.”

Cas sputters, confused and a little hurt. Was this a prank after all? But instead of some random asshole, it’s her best friend? Oh god, and all week she’d been telling Deanna how scared she was when this whole time-

Deanna takes her hand before Cas can finish the thought and shakes her head. “No, Cas. It’s not a prank.”

“But you-you had a special person and I-I-”

“You are the special person, dummy.” Deanna takes her other hand and squeezes them both between them. “You’re the one I wanted to ask to prom.”

Cas’s head is spinning and her heart feels like it’s trying to beat out of her chest. “You- this- I’m not- but... but why?” she finally gets out.

Deanna snorts a laugh and rolls her eyes, but when she refocuses on Cas everything about the way she looks at her friend is soft and reverent. “Because I love you.”

Cas can’t respond to that, her throat closing up as she just takes in the words and lets her body expand with them. It’s like blacking out for a moment and when she comes to her eyes are burning.

Deanna brings their hands up and her fingers sweep gently across Cas’s cheeks and Cas registers the wetness. 

“I don’t-” she starts with a gasp, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Deanna says gently. “I just want you to finally know. That I love you. More than anything I ever thought I could love. And I want to take you to the dance. If you’ll have me.”

Cas squeezes Deanna’s hands and makes herself look into her eyes. She looks close to crying too and Cas’s throat constricts again and she ponders how the happiest moment of her life can come with so much physical pain.

“I love you too,” she says, maybe a little too loud considering how close they are, but her body won’t let her announce it any other way. “I love you. For so long. And I-I’m-”

It’s like she’s trying to say too many words at once so she decides to just let her heart speak for her instead and she leans forward and presses her lips to Deanna’s.

The kiss is shaky and tastes kind of salty. But Deanna returns it with just as much care, releasing Cas’s hands to wrap around her waist and hold her close. 

Neither can say how long the kiss carried on but eventually they come up or air, resting their foreheads together. Cas’s hands clutch at the lapels of Deanna’s suit jacket and she grins when she sees the lipstick smeared around Deanna’s mouth. She brings her thumb up to wipe it away and Deanna grins, making Cas laugh. 

“This feels like a dream,” Cas whispers.

“Feels better than that to me,” Deanna murmurs back. She pecks Cas on the lips and looks over toward the school. “We should probably go to the dance now before everything shuts down.”

Cas nods and releases Deanna’s suit. She lets her hands run down the front though, finally taking a good look at her friend. It fits her perfectly, the jacket stopping mid-hip and the pants slimming so they’re tight at her ankles. 

“Are you wearing heels?”

Deanna grins and takes a few steps back to give Cas the full affect. “Hell yeah, don’t they make my legs look great?”

Cas can’t disagree as she lets her eyes roam freely.

“I could say the same to you, sweetheart,” Deanna says, and Cas looks up to see Deanna studying her in the same appreciative fashion. 

Cas’s face feels hot but instead of hiding it she reaches for Deanna’s hand and gives a gentle pull. “Come on. I want to go show you off.”

“Oh, hell yes,” Deanna growls and follows.

To say they’re the talk of the night is an understatement. The second they enter the gym with their hands clasped together, the murmurs start up. And when they walk onto the balcony Deanna built to have their photo taken, they can feel the eyes on them, watching closely. Deanna has a sneaky smile that Cas finds questionable and she starts to say something when Deanna puts an arm around her waist and dips her, lips coming together. And it’s not shaky this time.

She comes to to the sound of applause and it mortified to find her classmates clapping for them. Deanna laughs and tightens her hold. “I guess we weren’t the only ones waiting for us to get our shit together,” she says in Cas’s ear.

They move to the dance floor and it feels perfectly natural for Cas to take Deanna into her arms and sway. They hug, they kiss, they whisper, and they laugh, and everything around them falls away until it feels like it’s just the two of them dancing in the center of the universe. 

[moistwithgender]

Curry Read 60s Marvel, King-Size, Nuff Said

According to my tag, it took me about a month to get through this decade (eight years, technically), spending most of my free time reading. I’ve been following Comic Book Herald’s “My Marvelous Year” reading guide because it seemed like the quickest way through while cutting out the chaff. This was not...consistently the case. But, I’m still glad I followed it because this started out with me just chewing through early Spider-Man in black and white (don’t do this to yourself, nice flat colors do wonders for these older stories). I’m gonna go ahead and give the disclaimer that because I was following a speedy reading guide, I missed a lot of stuff, so if you know some really good issues I missed feel free to say so.

I’m afraid to type all this out because it’s a lot and idk where to start!

Okay well I have one idea of where to start.

Fantastic Four

This is Marvel’s best series up to this point and the fact that we’ve had so many garbage movies is a tragedy (don’t @ me about The Incredibles, I know). The FF comics are consistently the most fun, the weirdest, and the most creative.

Going through my reading list, I had to skip parts of FF, which is probably going to be where more of the good stuff was. Though, I will say that I prefer the latter half of the decade over the first half. FF started off with Mole Man, Skrulls (something I first realized was a thing back when they showed up in MvC3), The Puppet Master, The Red Ghost... The first few years of FF was probably best whenever it involved Namor and Doctor Doom. I don’t think anyone’s gonna argue with that. The latter half had The Inhumans, Galactus, The Silver Surfer, Black Panther, the Negative Zone... a whole lot of neat stuff! I actually missed the introduction of the Negative Zone, so all of a sudden Reed’s just got a portal to A Very Bad Place in the middle of his lab and he keeps opening it whenever things get slightly inconvenient. Stop doing that, Reed.

Highlights: - Namor being Namor. Usually at his best as a fish out of water (heh) in human society. With his absurd monarchic pride, and his occasional anti-hero tendencies, he’s...kind of like a wet Vegeta in hot pants. - The Thing. For a while he was back and forth as a character I liked or tolerated, and his incessant backtalk would occasionally become one of those “telling an unfunny joke until eventually it’s hilarious” things. - The Watcher. A being so committed to his vow to never interfere with the fate of the universe that he jack-knifes out of his lane every single time he gets the chance. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME HE WATCHED THE BIRTH OF GALACTUS AND DID NOTHING. THANKS UATU. - The fact that Doctor Doom is a Romani character being written by Jewish authors. That’s a lot to unpack. - The Sandman. Wait, you say, you mean that one Spider-Man villain who was played by the guy from the sitcom Wings? Yeah, it turns out once he’s done being a Sinister Six villain, he goes on to harass the Fantastic Four and gets his own Jack Kirby style super villain outfit!

Look at that badboy. Also he teams up with an angry furry made of explosions from the hell dimension that is the negative zone. - The Inhumans. All of these kids are cool, Lockjaw is an adorable giant bulldog that can teleport across infinite distances, and even Maximus is some sort of play on Shakespeare villains. The fact that differentiating these guys from mutants is really awkward. The short version (if I have it right) is that mutants are born with a unique x-gene, and inhumans come from a hidden society that commonly did genetic manipulation on its citizens at birth. - Galactus. He is arguably the weirdest thing Marvel has in this decade. A thirty foot tall man who flies around the universe and eats planets. He’s literally so powerful that he and the narrative both treat his eating habits as natural, and any victims that happen to get in the way as unfortunate but unintended sacrifices because GALACTUS MUST NOT DIE. Galactus is a vegan metaphor (maybe). - The Silver Surfer. The shiniest, angstiest boy in the multiverse. Originally from a planet where global society had literally hit its logical utopic conclusion, he was bored as shit. Galactus comes along, the entire planet gets spooked and blows itself the fuck up on accident, and Norrin Rad agrees to be Galactus’ herald and pick out planets safe to eat if he leaves his planet alone. Sometime after that he gets punished for trying to fight Galactus, and is punished to remain on Earth, where he would play around with being a very obvious Jesus analogy for a while. - That time where a guy impersonates The Thing in order to kill Reed, and then ends up getting respect for Reed and sacrificing himself atop a meteorite speeding off into an atmosphere of explosions. Really fucked up issue, honestly. - Black Panther. Wakanda is not as cool as it would eventually be portrayed, and BP’s first appearance is as an antagonist (he kidnaps the FF and hunts them for sport), but he has a fucking slick cape. - That time Doctor Doom stole The Silver Surfer’s infinite cosmic power and nearly fucked up everything for everybody for four straight issues. Also he got into a fist fight with the Thing, which is like...hell yeah. - The Negative Zone. WHY DO YOU HAVE A WINDOW TO HELL IN YOUR HOUSE, REED. - The Kree. I have no idea why the Kree are just white people in space. Bad move imo, even Namor’s race are mostly blue people. Anyway, there’s a rad fight with a sentry robot, and a decent introduction to Ronan the Accuser, who you might remember was the (reasonably overshadowed) villain in the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 movie, where he is blue. - Psycho Man. This guy has a remote control that makes you feel emotions and that’s kinda dumb but more importantly he’s from a microscopic universe and controls a non-microscopic robot version of himself to fight the FF and the implications of all that is absurd. - Reed goes into the negative zone (again) to try and find something he knows nothing about that might help his pregnant wife and unborn child survive the gamma radiation they still have in their bodies. He gets pretty lucky. Jesus christ, dude.

The worst parts of the FF this decade is probably every time Susan gets the shaft because she’s a woman, whether it’s her being talked down to by Reed or whether it’s her being written as way more concerned about ~lady things~ when things are going to hell. In the issue where her life is on the line and the baby is coming and Reed has to go into the negative zone, she doesn’t even make an appearance until like the last page. Susan deserves better. My reading guide actually didn’t recommend any 1969 issues of FF? I wonder what was going on...

Oh, skrulls impersonating 1920s gangsters and doing super-human trafficking, of course. Well, let’s move on.

The Incredible Hulk (Tales to Astonish)

I have had a soft spot for the Sulk ever since...probably the 2003 three Ang Lee film? Where I realized that 1) Bruce has bad dad issues and no one likes him, and 2) Hulk isn’t just a big boy, he is really fast and jumps crazy far and that’s a physical concept my teenage brain had never considered. I hadn’t even considered liking the Hulk growing up because I was so uncomfortable with almost all expressions of masculinity and machismo. My mom in fact was the one who told me “Don’t you want to see the Hulk? He’s big and scary like a bad guy, but he’s a good guy!” and I assume that’s what helped change my mind?

Anyway, Hulk has had a rough time in terms of popularity as well. His magazine lasted some six or seven issues before being canceled and his stories would continue, shorter, in Tales to Astonish, alongside Ant-Man (and eventually Namor’s own series). In the last few years of the decade he’d get a new magazine starting with The Incredible Hulk #102 (following Tales to Astonish #101... comic numbering is extremely bad), and...it’s okay so far! In the modern era, Hulk had a cartoon I never watched, a few nonstarter films, there was that series with Lou Ferrigno I know nothing about... He seems to always function best as a side hero. It doesn’t help that all the villains in his series are, like. Weird? Not like FF crazy weird, just like weird and not seemingly a great match for Hulk himself. Most of the ones that come to mind are dudes who are also mutated by gamma radiation or something else (and sometimes also green? why is the green supposed to be a common thread, that feels coincidental).

Which reminds me, Bruce is almost never present in what I’ve read so far. It’s just Hulk, usually talking way more than feels natural for him (it took a while for him to start speaking mostly in the third person). As a result, Hulk is usually given a very limited range of characterization and expected to coast on that, and it doesn’t often work. You have to put Hulk in casts and settings that complement him. For a while there he has a support character in Rick Jones, a (very uninteresting) teen boy who eventually can’t keep up with the increasingly antagonistic Hulk, bounces over to Captain America as a ward, eventually is confused by a cosmic cube-wielding, Cap-impersonating Red Skull, and fucks off on his own. He is immediately possessed by, and becomes a host for, Mar-Vell/Captain Marvel. I do not give a single fuck about Rick Jones.

In the earliest issues, the Hulk is gray, and also...just a non-furry werewolf. HE changes at night, until issue #102 retconned this.

Highlights: - That first issue has some really nice panels but I’m gonna say that’s all Jack Kirby’s doing. - Ends up harassing the FF, Spider-Man, the Avengers (after being one of them and then getting buttmad and running off), the Silver Surfer, the US military (regularly)... - Hulk goes to the far dystopic future?? He gets back I guess. - Hulk goes to Asgard! This is arguably the most interesting place to put him because all Odin’s warriors try to fight him and then decide lol this guy’s cool let’s go hang out. Meanwhile, Loki keeps fucking with him. But then the Enchantress and the Executioner become the villains and things get kinda boring again. - The Leader (that’s actually the name of a villain) makes a big robot and Hulk throws it into a volcano and then activates said volcano with his FISTS to fuck it up. Then he manually diverts a nuclear missile into the atmosphere after suddenly caring about people even though he has no reason to. Shrug! - Hulk goes to Attilan, the hidden nation of the Inhumans! There’s potential for interesting stuff here, but it’s mostly wasted by a full cast of extremely uninteresting one-off characters. This is all in a double length annual issue with a gorgeous cover by Jim Steranko, but the issue itself is drawn by Marie Severin. She does good stuff! But Steranko’s work is gorgeous.

Whatever!

The Mighty Thor (Journey into Mystery)

Thor’s winged helmet is really dumb, goodnight everybody!

Okay but yeah Thor started out in the Journey into Mystery magazine, and I guess I’d describe his stuff as... Dungeons and Dragons by Marvel? I struggle with it aesthetically but I like some of the ideas. Mjolnir is fucking cool, Asgard is both a real place and an planet (a flat one, even?), fucking Olympus is also a place and Hercules exists, Loki is... well, Loki hasn’t come into his own yet, but we’ll get there one day. On the other hand, some of the villains are dull as dishwater and a number of the good guys took their time getting interesting. Clearly there was some appeal, because he did eventually get his own magazine starting with Thor #126, I think? There’s that bad numbering again.

A big weird problem with Thor is that originally he has a secret identity. Like. Donald Blake is a surgeon who needs to use a cane to walk, and he goes hiking by himself and gets lost I guess and finds a stick and it turns out oops it’s Mjolnir and he becomes Thor! And Thor is not just a new identity, but also a person that is both the Thor of Norse myth, and the actual son of Odin up in Asgard and has been so forever and aaaaaaa

Donald Blake is not super important. He mostly exists to give Thor a weakness in that he can’t let go of his hammer for 60 seconds or he’ll turn back into a guy with a PhD. Eventually, in the latter half of the 60s, they add on to his backstory in a way I like, by saying “oh no no, he was always Thor. At one point Odin punished him by sending him to Earth with amnesia and in the guise of a handicapped guy getting through medical school. For some reason.” Which really only makes his dual identities more confusing, and I actually dig that. The MCU does not fuck with this at all, and I’m assuming the comics throw it out in the decades to come. Also, this semi-retcon was not included in the reading guide, I found it on accident. Anyway.

Highlights: - Thor joins the Avengers! I mean, duh, of course he does. He eventually leaves because he’s too popular and needs his own series or something. He occasionally pops back in to do cool stuff. - Thor accidentally ends up on Olympus and gets into a big sweaty fight with Hercules. They decide they are pals. This was an annual issue. - Thor goes into space! This is where things get good, and I really like Thor’s archaic ass as a cosmic sci-fi hero. Great juxtaposition. - Thor meets/fights Ego, the Living Planet! Okay, I said Galactus was the weirdest thing, and I was wrong. Ego is. Ego is almost as described on the tin, because he is actually described as an entire “bioverse”, and capable of changing the entirety of his physical makeup at any time. It is intensely cool. He’s also kind of evil and wants to spread out to control everywhere. Also, Thor makes friends with a nice recording robot and becomes an ally of robot rights. - Thor dies! A guy with a giant crowbar is accidentally given asgardian power by Loki, and then kills Thor because Thor has lost his power because Odin is punishing him again. And then Hela shows up as the goddess of death and says hey Thor. And he says hold on I got this and gets back in his body and saves the day and it’s fine. Hela does what she does best, stand there and look cool and do nothing else.

god she’s hot

- Thor rescues Ego from Galactus? Kind of on accident, he’s just trying to save the people inbetween who got their planets ate. Actually though, this arc fucking kicks, and he hangs out with the recorder bot too. In the end, Ego is grateful and lets the planetless nomads live on him. - Thor hangs out with Galactus and listens to his tragic backstory! Then Thor decides he’s gonna hit him anyway, and Odin decides “that’s enough for this story arc” and whisks Thor off to fight a robot instead. - Volstagg. - Volstagg.

- VOLSTAGG.

- Thor’s dudes go to the human world and there are shenanigans. It is good.

The Amazing Spider-Man

We all knew this was coming. Marvel’s own Pikachu. Possibly the most popular superhero alive (well, second to Batman anyway). And probably the hero I cared about the most growing up. We got associated a lot because we share a name. Spidey is probably the coolest idea for a superhero anyone has ever had, and they better CGI gets, the better his fights look. I do not care how many QTEs are gonna be in that new videogame, I wanna look at Spidey swing. Spider-man is just cool cool cool cool.

Early Spider-Man comics are fucking boring! Goodnight everybody!

Okay just kidding sort of. Spider-Man takes a while to pick up, in my opinion, and I’m 100% positive part of that is because I’ve seen these early stories retold in better and better definition so many times. I watched the cartoon as a kid, but the Sam Raimi movies are probably what comes to mind when I think of Spider-Man. Steve Ditko nailed a fucking iconic costume design, and did a great job of visually communicating Spidey’s agility on paper. But, in the earliest issues there was rarely any variation in panel size and shape, and action scenes were laid out like diagrams. Both those factors, along with the fact that each panel had dialogue because Peter kind of never shuts up, meant that pacing slowed to a crawl, and I had to chew through those issues. Also sometimes he just fought, like, mobsters with lassos. Jesus christ that’s boring. As the decade goes on, we start getting some good stuff, and to be completely honest, I’m looking forward to the weird dumb 90s stuff the most?

Highlights: - Peter has a persecution complex and uses his secret identity to be an asshole! Even after Peter’s iconic and still very well written origin story, he spends a lot of time harassing people, good and bad. He regularly breaks into JJ’s office in costume and makes fun of him, he crashes the Torch’s party to beat him up and flirt with his girlfriend, he breaks into the Baxter building to fight the FF in hopes they’ll recruit him with pay, he...gets into an argument with black students who are very passionate about affordable housing? He wasn’t even in costume for that one. Jesus, Peter, go to a therapist. - Nobody likes Spider-Man! Kind of makes sense why he’s got those personality issues, though those start with jocks calling him a nerd (he’s a nerd). Half the city doesn’t trust him, he works for a newspaper that is dedicated to anti-Spidey propaganda (Peter, you’re partially at fault for this), even the X-Men just assume he’s a bad guy, and that’s usually a problem they have to deal with. - Really appropriate villains! Wow! The Vulture matches his high up action, Doc Ock is both another victim of weird science and an intellectual rival. Also, like, their namesakes have a lot of legs. The Lizard is...Florida Man. Maybe the better argument is that many of these villains are memorable, in a decade that featured a concerning amount of “large humanoid monster/robot” baddies in all of the running series. - Like the Green Goblin. Who knew that would be Spider-Man’s Joker? Maybe that’s a bad comparison. Also bats and clowns aren’t usually connected with each other. Where was I going with this. - Spider-Man tries to quit the superhero gig twice, I think? He’s the only Marvel hero to consider this, as far as I know. Part of Peter’s appeal is that not only is he a young adult, unlike the rest of Marvel’s adult cast, but he’s also financially disadvantaged, has a non-nuclear model family, and has to look out for his often ailing Aunt. He has to work a side job while going to school while fighting bad guys, and it’s a lot more interesting than what Tony Stark’s doing up to this point. This has all been said so many times by so many people, but it’s an obligatory mention. - Peter donates blood to Aunt May at one point and accidentally gets a radioactive particle in her body. OOPS. Spider-Man goes on a rampage to find an antidote and tears a metal stairwell off its hinges. He also, like, completely destroys a villain’s underwater base and nearly doesn’t get out himself. - The Green Goblin discovers Peter is Spider-Man! Most of the Marvel heroes have this anxiety, but it never ends up a problem, so this is pretty big. The Goblin kidnaps him in broad daylight, ties him to a chair in a secluded place, and infodumps his origin story that he’s actually the father of Peter’s college roommate and is kind of very unhinged and obsessed with Spider-Man? In the end, Gobby gets amnesia and forgets the whole supervillain and mental illness thing and turns back into a good dad. - Spidey goes to the Casbah! Yeah, go figure. He learns his parents were traitors to America, and it fucks him up so much he flies there to find the truth. He ends up exploding the Red Skull and learns his parents were actually double double agents and were spying for America and so things are a-okay!

also peter kills a dude with a missile

- That aforementioned thing about affordable housing happens! Some black college students are unhappy that the university is taking old dorms that could be used as low rent housing for students and instead giving it to visiting alumni, and start a big protest and the narrative actually pins them as sympathetic even when they get overzealous and physical? I’m...kind of surprised, to be honest. Not used to seeing this at all.

Ant-Man, and...other identities. (Tales to Astonish)

ima keep it real with u founding member of the avengers hank pym, this will not improve marvel’s declining sales

This guy is a goddamn mess.

People like to say “pfffft there’s an ant-man? that’s goofy! that’s the weirdest thing ever! that’s a bad idea!” and buddy let me tell you, Hank Pym has a career specializing in bad ideas. Let’s list them!

- Adopt a young woman while she is grieving over the loss of her father and take her in as both a crime-fighting ward (The Wasp!) and also a love interest. Feel bad about it for about five minutes so it’s okay. - Develop a “growth capsule” that allows you to turn huge and decide to adopt two super hero identities, Ant-Man and Giant-Man. Assume this will not confuse anyone. - Eventually do weird science to make it so you can grow and shrink at will. Assume this will not have negative repercussions on your body. - Change the name Giant-Man to Goliath because you feel like Giant-Man is a dumb name. Confuse everyone for multiple issues. - Get stuck as a twelve-foot tall 90s beverage mascot lookin ass motherfucker (you are terrible at costume design, hank) and get real mad at everyone all the time about it. - Create an evil robot called Ultron and forget about it. Oops! Surely this will be fine.

IT’LL BE FINE

- Fail to relate to your robot-grandson-turned-avenger The Vision. Be a bad grandpa. - Inhale chemicals and get all fucked up on temporary schizophrenia (???), adopting a second personality. Call yourself Yellowjacket, claim to have killed Hank, and kidnap your girlfriend and force her to make out with you. - When assaulting your girlfriend makes her, uh, somehow realize that you are Hank, she will rope you into marrying her, thereby...uh...legally cuckolding yourself I guess? Realize you are Hank during/after the wedding, and be perfectly fine with this egregious violation of consent. Nothing about this will have lasting negative consequences. - Adopt the identity of Yellowjacket, and abandon Goliath. Continue to confuse people. On the bright side, finally have a nice costume. - Make a new Goliath costume in celebration of refusing to ever be Goliath again (WHY), and store it and a beaker of growth serum (WHY) in an unlocked locker out in the open (WHY). Hawkeye will steal it and become the new Goliath II.

So far that’s everything about Hank-Man! Stay tuned to see more of this trainwreck.

Iron Man (Tales of Suspense)

YO THIS DUDE SUCKS

I really like Iron Man’s origin story and his overall concept but the tech culture would not advance far enough to match it for a while. Also this was in the era of the Vietnam War and so Tony’s greatest enemy is The Mandarin, an extremely awkward asian stereotype and I! Ain’t! Got! Time! For! That!

Avengers

The Avengers are, at their most interesting, characters already in their own magazines. At their worst, they’re a bunch of characters no one cares about, fighting villains no one cares about, with last second ass-pull victories. There was a brief period there were I suspected the Avengers magazine was going to be true gristle of Marvel I was gonna have to chew on for hours to get through. Thankfully we are eventually given Marvel’s goodest boy, Vision. After that, things start to pick up a lot.

bless him and his little intangible heart

Highlights: - Captain America is found frozen in an ice cube! He’s been in cryo for twenty years, wow how the world has changed. I guess. Another case of time passing eventually making an origin story better. At this point Marvel has revived three 1940s comics properties: Cap, Namor, and the Human Torch (the lattermost in this case being an entirely different person). - Kang the Conqueror! Kang is a hell of a villain concept. He’s a time traveler who once ruled ancient Egypt as a pharaoh named Rama Tut and, uh, will eventually rule over Earth in the 41st century. He keeps harassing the 20th century for some reason. Also he is hint hint maybe related to Doctor Doom, I guess. - Hawkeye joins, having previously been a one-off villain, and proceeds to be an asshole to everyone forever. Eventually he becomes Goliath II because why not I guess. - Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver join, having recently bailed on Magneto’s Brotherhood, and they are...kinda boring, tbh. Wanda’s “hex power” isn’t very well defined (it makes unlucky things happen), and neither of them have much personality yet. At one point they fight Doctor Doom and he uses a machine to cancel out the hex power (???) and outpaces Quicksilver without using any enhancements (???). Some of these issues really blow. Quicksilver’s costume is lazy as hell. - Hercules joins for some reason, even though he says he doesn’t wanna be part of a team.  - Magneto does some sneaky bullshit and tricks Quicksilver into thinking someone at the UN shoots at Wanda on purpose. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch join Magneto again because fuck normies. - The Avengers are killed (sort of) by the Grim Reaper! Their newest member, the Black Panther, rescues them.

Pick a color you trilobite.

- The Vision joins, Ultron-5 is introduced, and things finally settle in for the good stuff. - Ultron rebuilds himself in adamantium as Ultron-6 and replaces his legs with a rocket chariot thing. No one is brave enough to tell him it looks dumb.

no shut up its cool and i can fit still fit through doorways

immediately the next chapter he re-rebuilds himself with legs and calls himself Ultimate Ultron. mmmhm.

sounds like somebody was havin some self esteem issues about their body. sounds like a talk that ultron and their dad hank pym could probably relate to each other over.

- The decade ends with an arc where Kang abducts the Avengers and ends up himself wrapped up in a proxy wargame with the Grandmaster. Kang uses the Avengers as his pawns, and the GM creates four superhumans that he totally didn’t get from DC no sir. Perfectly original characters, do not steal.

I just...I just really feel like that last one could have used a few more minutes in the boardroom.

- Even better, the second half of the arc pits the avengers against Captain America, Namor, and the Human Torch...in their 1940s renditions!

Hank even comments on the fact that Namor’s diction is different. It’s great.

The Uncanny X-Men

So I grew up in the 90s, and despite never really engaging with comics, I was quite aware that Marvel’s hottest shit at the time was Spider-Man and X-Men. The X-Men had a slow start, but once they caught on, they never really dropped off. Actually, I think they might be less popular now? They’re at least not the ever-present icons they used to be, and I suspect that is partially to do with middling-quality movies diluting the brand.

But, the appeal is there from the start. Children born unique but feared by society are adopted by Patrick Stewart and spirited away to a special boarding school that is secretly dedicated to teaching them to use their powers for the sake of fighting evil. This was the proto-Harry Potter, though Snape’s gonna win no contests against Wolverine.

Unfortunately, we don’t have Wolverine, yet. We’ve got...these guys!

(Not pictured: Marvel Girl/Jean Grey)

The creative potential in mutant design has not quite picked up yet, so the main team (of five teens and an old man) includes such marvels as Guy With Wings, and Guy What Got Big Feet. Seriously, Beast’s feet get way too much attention.

I cannot wait until you are a blue cat instead of this.

I wish I could comment on the political commentary on the series, but it hasn’t quite started up yet, whether that is intentional or not. The rampant fear of mutants is there, we’ve even had a Sentinels arc, but it’s mostly just surface stuff. I had a lot to say about Spider-Man, so I feel kind of silly coming up short here!

Highlights: - Magneto. Despite the slow start this series is going through, Magneto is immediately introduced and has his wonderful costume design and his super threatening magnetism powers. I am a bit confused as to how his magnetism affects all things, not just metal, but magnets are an irl mystery and I’m willing to let it slide. - The Juggernaut. The two-issue arc introducing Juggz himself are effectively told, if not sliiightly silly in structure. The first issue has the X-Men building up defenses because he’s coming, and later, as he tears through each single one, unseen to both the kids and the reader, Xavier explains his and the Juggernaut’s tumultuous childhood together. It builds the tension really well, but it’s a bit funny by the fourth time the X-Men are saying “we gotta go meet him before he breaks in here where we are!” and Xavier’s like “I’M NOT DONE TELLING MY ORIGIN STORY.” - The Sentinels. This is probably the last interesting arc in the 60s, published as early as ‘65. It’s almost the last material in the reading guide, next to an issue where they all get into a fight with Spider-Man for no reason. If I understand correctly, the Sentinels are later depicted as humongous robots, where here they’re closer to ten feet tall or so. I’d always thought the idea of “a bunch of mass produced robots designed to kill mutants” seemed uncreative growing up, especially given that they don’t, like, have an x-gene suppressing ray or anything, but it works well enough in the moment. - Wholly unnecessary amounts of sexual harassment towards Jean Grey. All the boys have the hots for her (well, maybe not Iceman (pun not intended)), including even Xavier saying that she’s attractive when she first arrives. What the fuck, dudes.

X-MANS IS CANCELED

Doctor Strange (Strange Tales)

The reading guide included a ton of Strange Tales to read, including an 11-issue arc at one point. Good grief it was a lot.

Steve Ditko, of early Spider-Man, did the art for Strange for a good while, and I found that contrast between the diagram like action of Spider-Man, and the much more fantastic illustrations of Strange to be the most interesting thing. Eventually Marie Severin would take over as the penciller, and it would take a bit of time to adjust, but the more abstract it got, the better. Also, I don’t really like the footie pajamas Severin draws him in.

This is Steve Ditko. He has thin lines and exact shapes and while you don’t see it here, his magic fights are very clear and easy to follow.

This is Marie Severin. In comparison her lines are thick and smudged (well, okay, we have to give credit to the inkers for these as well, though I think she did her own inking?), but is capable of uniquely evocative images like this. Her action scenes are harder to follow, but she is equally capable of the kind of surreality that appears in Doctor Strange’s comics.

Also, while the topic has been touched on a lot, especially around the time the movie came out, it still bears repeating that Doctor Strange is built on a foundation of cultural appropriation and mystic eastern boogie woogie nonsense. I’m parroting the words of people that know this much better than me, but it’s a problematic and somewhat common trope that media will depict a white protagonist in a foreign setting who not just excels but surpasses everyone else, particularly peers who are native to the setting. At best it’s well-meaning and oblivious, at worst it perpetuates a narrow worldview where everything has to revolve around white people.

Anyway, when the comics focus more on the dread dark dimension of Dormammu, most of these problems aren’t around, and you get lots of fun and bizarre imagery and goofy spell casting.

Highlights: - Dormammu. He’s a prideful otherworldy being who refuses to be caught explicitly going back on his word when beaten at a game of skill, but easily breaks down and claws at loopholes with which he can attempt his petty revenge against Strange. He is also portrayed as a necessary evil, in that he uses his power to erect a barrier that keeps his servants safe from mindless laser-eye cyclops monsters that are just perpetually punching each other. That conflict makes for complicated situations where usurping him may be more harm than help. Also his head is always on fire, and that’s cool. - Trippy visuals. Ditko’s backgrounds lean closer to pop art with abstract shapes, bright colors, and twisting pathways. Severin’s art, if I can remember (there hasn’t been a lot yet) leans closer to mysterious and somewhat vague settings. I’m describing it very poorly.

That’s kind of it for Strange, I guess!

Daredevil

oh my god how many of these have I done now im so tired

I haven’t read much Daredevil yet! The reading guide has given me some seven issues so far out of the full decade, and while there has been some good stuff, I don’t know if I can draw a big mental picture.

DD is, theoretically, in that same category as Captain America, where rather than being a super powerful character, he is merely very very good at what he has. DD got hit in the face with a radioactive dildo or something and it blinded him but enhanced his other senses so intensely that if you sneeze he can tell what brand of nasal spray you use. Also, he’s super acrobatic and has a swiss army walking cane that he can use to do just about anything. And he’s a working attorney. Fuck you and your eyeballs, Batman.

Marvel has not begun to embrace noir, and as I understand it, that seems to be the genre most people know DD for aligning with. As a result, things are kinda silly! DD’s first outfit was yellow and he fought a man who had robot stilts in broad daylight.

Highlights: - Killgrave, the...Purple Man.

I can’t believe this is how Jessica Jones starts.

Uhh, Killgrave got some pheromones or something embedded in his skin on accident and now everyone just does what he says to no matter what. He’s purple now, too. This has not been taken to its terrifying possibilities yet, but I’m very excited to see where it goes. - Daredevil fights Namor. Okay, seriously? Seriously? This is my favorite issue, no joke. Namor busts out of the ocean demanding a lawyer (Matt himself) so he can sue the human race. Shenanigans ensue, and a trial is attempted, but ultimately falls apart when Namor decides “you know what? fuck this I’m gonna start breakin shit”. Matt changes into the DD costume and takes on Namor with everything he can think of, including construction equipment, but fails.

Out of respect, Namor leaves.

- Stilt-Man.

Stilt-Man. (Stilt-Man eventually shrinks into a quantum state that he remains trapped in for months until he suddenly isn’t.)

- And finally, Mike Murdock. In an attempt to ward off suspicion that he might be Daredevil, Matt...pretends to be his twin brother who is never in the same room at the same time as him. As Mike, he is a cocky jerk to everyone and insists that he is Daredevil. And people believe him.

As you would expect (for once), this nearly gets people killed.

Nick Fury (Strange Tales, Agent of Shield)

NICK FURY IS THE BEST GOD DAMN SONNUVA BITCH IN THE WHOLE MARVEL LINE UP

Nick Fury is like if you took James Bond and made it not suck. You get to keep all the gadgets and world traveling but swap out the “ooh, I’m so cool and serious” with kicking open doors and telling fascists to go fuck themselves. Most importantly, it’s a near-parody of the overwrought machismo that the series runs on. It’s so busy getting from point A to point B in as fun a way as possible that it’s impossible to take seriously.

Actually, it might be like if Battle Tendency was less sympathetic to real world fascists. Which is to say, it’s the pinnacle of evolution.

Look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t a JJBA action scene. (Also, Jim Steranko blessed us with a shirtless Fury in latex pants.)

A highlights list would be ridiculously long because I love these comics, so I’ll instead focus on one thing in particular.

- Jim Steranko’s art is gorgeous

Yes, these are all Nick Fury title pages.

Captain America (Tales of Suspense)

Steve is just now starting to get interesting, mostly through his own series, but he’s had plenty of time for notable moments throughout his screentime (pagetime?) in Tales of Suspense and Avengers. While talking about Daredevil I mentioned Captain America and how he’s less of a nigh-supernatural being like most heroes, and more of a particularly exceptional human. He hits really hard, but more impressive is his stamina and agility. Something that I’ve liked in the MCU is how they’ve portrayed him as always capable of what is just one step beyond what people think is possible of him. He can’t fly, but he’ll do as many impossible leaps as necessary. He’s not super strong (well, not to the degree of Spider-Man), but he sure can run for miles, and he knows his way around that shield.

I feel like a lot of what I’m writing is surface level readings of these comics, but the characteristics of Steve that really identify him haven’t quite shown themselves yet, I think. When I think of him, what always comes to mind is that his “american good boy” values take priority over allegiances, and so you’ll see Captain America himself abandon his title if America no longer represents the values of protecting the weak. Steve Rogers is kind of a perfect flawless human (when not written terribly), but that’s pretty okay at the end of the day, when a superhero is more of an icon than a person.

Highlights: - That time the Red Skull got the Cosmic Cube (not the Tesseract), and became a god for like five minutes.

- That time Cap fought a giant baby.

- That time Cap pretended to be dead and then stopped Hydra from burying all the avengers alive even Vision who would...be able to just phase out of the grave. I’m not really sure what the plan there was. - That other time the Red Skull got the cosmic cube and then switched bodies with Cap and they made a lot of facial expressions.

- That time Rick Jones thought Captain America didn’t like him, meanwhile Cap was stranded on a desert island and hanging out with The Falcon and it was cool. Nobody cares about Rick Jones.

Namor, The Sub-Mariner (Tales to Astonish)

I didn’t read a fuck shit about this dude! Sorry!

Captain Marvel

we’re so close to being done

The reading guide gave me nearly nothing on this dude. Issues #1-3 and then #17. He’s a Kree (whoa!) named Mar-Vell (lol) who should be helping to fuck up Earth but ends up liking it and chooses to defend it. He’s got a jet pack and a laser and a really shit costume and he’s NOT BLUE.

Marvy, I need you to move over, the more interesting hero is behind you.

He’s got an asshole commanding officer who keeps trying to get him killed because he wants to fuck his girlfriend and SNORE, I do not care. Come on dude. I have been psyched to learn about 

At some point in-between chapters #3 and #17, and...shit, I’ll just quote wikipedia for this:

After aiding humanity several times, Mar-Vell is found guilty of treason against the Kree Empire and sentenced to death by firing squad. Mar-Vell escapes in a stolen rocket, but becomes lost in space. After drifting for 112 days, he is weak and on the verge of madness. He is manipulated by Ronan the Accuser and Kree Minister Zarek into helping them overthrow the Supreme Intelligence. To better help them, Mar-Vell is given a new costume and enhanced abilities. After the conspiracy is foiled, Mar-Vell tries to return to Earth. On the way, he is hit by a blast of radiation that traps him in the Negative Zone.[16]

The Supreme Intelligence enables Mar-Vell to telepathically contact Rick Jones, which he uses to lead Jones to a set of "nega-bands" at an abandoned Kree base. When Jones puts on the bands and strikes them together, he trades places with Mar-Vell and is encased in a protective aura in the Negative Zone. The pair discover they are able to maintain telepathic contact. Using this method, Mar-Vell can remain in the positive universe for a period of three hours.

well what the fuck that might have been worth reading, thanks reading guide

Anyway, so yeah, Rick Jones! Both of these characters were pretty boring, and mayyybe this will help the both of them. Or not. At least the new costume is cool.

Silver Surfer

IT’S THE LAST ONE THANK GOD

Once again, I don’t have much to say here! I wrote all my thoughts on the surfer up in the Fantastic Four section, so you can read that if you haven’t. The reading guide only gave me three issues to read, though they were quite good. The first was his origin story, which I already wrote about above. The second one was about invisible aliens that manipulated the surfer and people’s distrust of him (part of this is because he keeps occasionally attacking humans because he thinks it’ll make them be nicer to each other). And in the third issue, Mephisto kidnaps his long lost girlfriend from his home planet. It works out kind of badly for everyone involved.

begone, thought

And that’s everything for the 60s. Phew! This took a long time and I don’t know if it was worth it. Let me know if you read it, if you enjoyed it, if you pity me, whatever. I got more comics to read.

[stoopsbookstore]

Daggers (Part 4)

Warnings - creepiness, violence, fooling around, general fuckery, The Guy (Yes! More creepiness from The Guy) A mention of the previous attack, mentions of killing, drugs

Besides the awkwardness inside the car that only Y/N could seem to sense and a traffic jam, the group arrived at the massive campus alive. The giant sign above the gates read "Woodlake School of Academics."

"Here we are. Now, me and Haechan have to go, our class starts in 5."

"We have to wait for Doyoung-Hyung and Winwin-Hyung. They're in the class as well."

"Alright, I guess we can wait for them."

A girl ran up to Y/N, spooking Haechan, and hugged her, "Oh my god, I'm so happy to see you."

"Jeong-Jeong, you just saw me 48 hours ago."

"Dressed in gross scrubs. So, what's this rumor that you have 9 new handsome bodyguards?"

"No, my dad decided to do some good will and some of the transfer students are staying with us for a while."

Sejeong squealed, "are any of them cute?"

Y/N started to tell her about the night before. "There's one guy, Jaehyun. We almost fuc- No, God no, none are cute," Y/N said a little too fast, when she noticed Taeyong, who tagged along with them since his class was next door, Winwin, Doyoung and Haechan appear.

Sejeong whispered to Y/N, "You are to tell me everything later tonight."

"Why don't you just come over?"

"I have a date with that guy I've been talking to, Hyuk."

The four guys seemed to have stiffened at the name, but neither of the girls noticed.

"I'll tell you everything in exchange for you know," she winked, "see you later, Lynn-Lynn."

Cringing at the nickname, Y/N mocks her friend's tone, "text me after, Jeong-Jeong."

Sejeong ran off and the guys pulled Y/N into the classroom.

"Who's that Hyuk guy she was talking about?" Taeyong asked.

"Just a guy at another school she's had a crush on forever, tall, nice eyes, really cute," Y/N listed off reasons as if she was the one with the crush on the male. While she walked to her chair, Winwin nudged Doyoung in the side, trying not to get mad, with his ears perking up when Y/N confessed, "but he's not my type. He's perfect for Sejeong, though."

The teacher walked in, shooing Taeyong off, as Doyoung looked like he was ready to start a full-fledged integration on Y/N. Haechan whispered to Doyoung, "Hyuk, isn't he the guy who almost kil-"

"Yes, now shut up and focus,” Doyoung growled.

The class went by smoothly, Y/N turned in her classwork and got 98% on it. Thanking Haechan for the study tools, she ran to meet Jaehyun. She waited for him to appear, but 5 minutes went by with nothing. 10 minutes, 15 minutes, finally Jaehyun appeared.

"I'm sorry, kitten, this is a strange school."

"I figured you would've known which stairwell to go to, seeing as you were the one who set this location," Y/N joked, blushing at Jaehyun's new name for her.

Jaehyun looked at her, eyes bugged out, until he remembered, "Oh yeah, I just assume that every school has that one place where there's no cameras and isn't on the path for most of the people."

"You got me there, no one ever comes to this hallway, it's haunted," Y/N did a silly dance and extended the final word to Jaehyun's laughter.

“Luckily, I don’t believe in ghosts.”

“They’re real, though!”

Y/N saw Jaehyun's face go all serious after their little ghost quip.

"So," she said, gaining the dirty blond's attention," what did you want to talk about?"

"Last night. I'm sorry if you felt like it was too soon. Like I said, I normally don't move that fast, especially if that person is a roommate of mine and she's the daughter of a C.E.O. and definitely not after a day after she was almost raped and killed."

Y/N walked up and kissed his cheek, "Jae, it's fine. I wouldn't have gone that far if I didn't want to. I think you're attractive, you hopefully think I'm attractive."

Jaehyun chuckled, "I definitely do."

"And it was a small room with a storm going on, that's literally a romcom movie or a fanfic scenario and it just so happened to us."

Jaehyun sighed and before he could say anything else, the alarm for Y/N's second and final class of the day went off.

"Offer still stays, we can try again tonight, same time."

The next class Y/N had was statistics, she didn't think she shared this class with any of the guys until she spotted Doyoung and Johnny sitting where she would normally sat.

"Haechan told us you always sit near windows," Johnny spoke up.

"Yeah," Y/N said with a gasp, shocked that Haechan noticed that, "when it's sunny, it feels so good and it's peaceful when it's raining."

Doyoung scoffed at the last remark, catching Johnny's attention. Johnny kicked his shin before getting up and moving to the table in front of Y/N's.

"You can take it, I can't stand the cold, this weather needs to make up its mind."

The entire class saw how well Y/N was getting along with the new transfers until one girl, Courtney, came up and pushed Y/N off the seat, landing on the floor with a thud.

"Courtney Adriane Peters, at your service," she held her hand out, waiting for it to be shaken, "I heard about the transfer students, but I didn't think they would be so se-"

"Can I help you?" Doyoung asked seriously, "you just pushed our friend off the seat and I don't think she appreciates that." Johnny helped Y/N off the floor.

"Oh, that's right... she's apparently screwing some of y'all. Wouldn't put it past her after the 'attack'," Courtney said with air quotes, "she probably was gonna screw him, changed his mind and said it was an attack, I know her daddy would get her off."

Courtney turned to Y/N, who had rage and sadness in her eyes, "I bet they don't even know why you had to be adopted."

"It's none of our business," Johnny finally spoke.

"It's a juicy story, her mom killed her father, her mom went on the run, little Y/N Jaqueline Louis on her own."

Y/N was visibly upset at this point and ended up walking out. Doyoung was seething in his seat and ended up following Y/N, leaving Johnny in the class with Courtney trying to get in his pants.

"For someone who's so angry, you walk very fast," Doyoung, catching up to Y/N, said.

"Just tell Johnny I'll see him and Taeil at the mal-"

"I'll walk you there, we can get to know each other," the tall boy spoke with a gummy grin, attempting to calm Y/N down, "maybe we can get some ice cream."

"You know, me being seen with a bunch of boys is gonna be a field day for Courtney."

Doyoung texted Johnny, telling him to write good notes that he can steal later. Johnny texted something back, but when Y/N tried to snoop, Doyoung immediately shut off the screen and threw it in his bag, "While we're walking, you can tell me why Courtney doesn't like you."

"She doesn't like that a powerful C.E.O. adopted me. She is that stereotypical rich bitch who cries when the spotlight isn't on her. Literally. Last semester I took a class with her and she was the lead. She had a mental fucking breakdown because someone else had a monologue."

Doyoung chuckled, "wow, so she's just never liked you?"

"She also claims I stole Sejeong from her. Sejeong was on the cheer squad, but her mom decided to put her in the same psychology class as me, we bonded over our mutual dislike for the teacher and the rest is history."

"Oohh," he exclaimed, "So this Hyuk guy?"

"Oh, they've been talking for like 2 months now, she just got out of a relationship with some girl named Heejun and Hyuk's the only person who's made her feel like an actual human instead of just a sex doll." The light turned green for them and they ran across to avoid getting hit by someone making a right-hand turn.

"Johnny and Taeil said they'll be here in any minute now, Johnny said the teacher did not show up at all and class was cancelled, 15 minute rule," Doyoung pouted, looking at his phone.

"Dude, we live together, don't pout."

"But we were just getting along, who knows how long that will last until Haechan starts pitting us against each other in a prank war where someone will end up naked in the middle of the football singing Old Smokey."

Y/N stopped in place, shocked to hear what the guy just said.

"You think he's quiet and innocent, he's actually Satan, or at least a descendant."

Y/N bit her lip to stop herself from laughing and Doyoung had to stop himself from staring. He didn't realize Johnny and Taeil were sneaking up behind him to spook him. While the four were laughing, a guy come up to Y/N, grabbing her ass and trying to get an upskirt shot of her. Taeil pushed the guy away.

"Dude, what the fuck? It was a joke" The creep said, getting up from the floor and before he could retaliate, Johnny got in front of him.

"Not a smart idea."

The guy, seeing Johnny's height, slowly backed away, mumbling "It was just a joke."

Taeil got a text and tapped at Doyoung on his shoulder.

"Doyoung, we need to go, Mr. Connors assigned us a project for film class. I'm sorry, Y/N, I was really hoping to spend some time with you and get to know you, but we can talk some other time. Doyoung, let's go." He said, seemingly in one breath.

"Oh Ok. Johnny, we don't have to stay here." Y/N told the tall guy standing next to her.

"No, we can stay, only 2 are needed for a party."

Johnny and Y/N walked around the mall, running through the different stores. 3 hours later, most of the good stores closing with the exception of Spencer's, so as a joke, they decided to look around.

"You would go to the back, wouldn't you?" Y/N joked.

After the mall, they were heading home, Johnny was wondering why Y/N's birth parents were such a touchy subject. Before he could say a word, Y/N broke the silence.

"Thank you, and tell Doyoung and Taeil thank you. It's something I'm used to, so it's nice for someone to stand up for me"

"Yeah, no problem. That guy was a dick, he'll get what's coming to him," Johnny said confidently. "Let me ask you something."

"No, I'm not really a princess from a foreign country."

"Ha-ha, no. It's a serious questi-"

"You want to know about my birth parents?"

"Yeah."

Y/N took a deep breath in.

"The story I've always been told was my dad was a druggie. He was hooked on everything. One night when I was younger, he came home. He was tearing through the house and started to attack my mom. She fought him off and then he tried to go after me and she, of course, didn't take too well to that. She picked me up, put me in my room, grabbed the closest thing and killed him. She called the cops, saying she thinks there was a domestic dispute and a child was in the house. She ran, They came, took me in, put me in foster care and the rest was history."

They walked in silence, for neither had nothing to say, back to the house. Johnny was once again going to speak up until Y/N just left him with a simple "I'm going to bed."

After she went to her room, Johnny ran up to the 3rd floor lounge to see the other 8 guys waiting for him.

"What the actual fuck, Doyoung? Why did you leave?"

"Mark texted us, that asshole said he's gonna expose Y/N's dad."

"What the fuck happened last night, I thought he was supposed to be dead."

Four of the guys went out last night, following the guy as he left a bar, drunk off his ass and high as kite. One of the guys went up to him to "steal" his wallet, another one knocked him out and the last 2 tied him up.

"That bitch deserved it," the guy spat out blood at the man who was holding a bat, he started to swing at the guy until he found a voice from his friend, "Calm down, he's just trying to get you riled up."

"Come on," the guy laughed, "you've clearly seen her, her face plastered everywhere, you don't think she'll be a good fuck? Those luscious lips, painted with that innocent pink lip color? Those short skirts she wears, just begging to pulled down? she probably wears nice little thongs or cute lace boysh-"

The male dropped the baseball bat and started punching the guy's face, seemingly beating him to death. Sirens started to come closer and the guys scattered, leaving the guy to bleed out.

"We thought he was dead, Hyung." Haechan said, ashamed of himself.

Taeyong, noticing the atmosphere, spoke, "we should probably get to bed. We'll figure things out later."

A little bit past 1am, the Guy crept into Y/N's room where she was laying, peaceful and soundly asleep. The moonlight shined on her, making her looking even more like a goddess. As he crawled into bed with her, she noticed the shift in weight. She started to wake up, but the Guy cuddled up to her side.

"If you wanted to cuddle, you could've just asked, Jae," she said in a sleepy voice. The Guy just simply groaned back and she went back to sleep.

"You will be mine one day soon," he said with a smirk on his face while he starts to slip into his own slumber.

[yoongiandchiminie]

A Petty Game {One-Shot}

Collab with @yalikekpop (Follow her she’s- something. She wrote some SMUT)

One-Shot(?)

Pairing: Taehyung X Reader, Jimin X Reader

Word count: 3,555

Warnings: Strong language, Smut

Summary: You’re friends with benefits with Taehyung and out of pettiness, sleep with Jimin for a night. Jimin quickly becomes attached and you accidentally lead him on out of guilt. Until he wants you to meet his friends and you find out Tae is one of them.

“Then I woke up and he was playing with my fucking hair, Tae.” you were sitting across the island in your kitchen from your best friend, Taehyung. He was hysterically laughing as you told him the story of your one night stand from a few weeks ago. You’d kept the story from him as you tended to sleep with Taehyung a lot and didn’t like to relay the information of your ‘affairs’, even if you two weren’t exclusive.

“That’s why you should only sleep with me.” he boasted as you slammed your head onto the marble. “This guy sounds like a pain in the ass.” You’d been telling him the tale for the past hour of how you slept with this guy and had woken up to a rather odd scenario. He’d continuously been texting you and asking you to go onto dates. As much as you wanted to say no you kept going with the hopes of shutting him down. Except you didn’t and tonight he wanted to introduce you to his friends.

“Yeah and everytime I try to break it off, I feel guilty.” You lifted your head to meet his face that was completely crinkled from laughing so hard. He leaned up over to table to pat your shoulder. “Don’t pity me.”

“I’m not- I’m not. I got this.” he had the terrible glimmer in his eye that came along with his bad ideas. “I’m gonna go with you and I’ll just fight him.”

“Why-” you couldn’t even finish your sentence in this situation. Your face did the rest of the talking for you as you stuck out your lip and your eyes dropped. “I’ll just go and meet his friends and-”

“Dump him?” He ran his hands through his orange hair.

“We aren’t dating.” you crossed your arms.

“What’s his name anyways?” he stood up and made his way to the fridge to get a bottle of water.

“Park Jimin.” Taehyung had a classic spit take moment as he erupted back into the laughter he’d had seconds earlier. He crept over to you and threw an arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss on your temple.

“The irony, peaches.” You rolled your eyes at the nickname and leaned into his arm. “That’s my friend from High School, ya know, the clingy one that just moved back here? He’s been raving about this cute girl he’s been seeing lately and I don’t know how he’s gonna react when he finds out I’ve been fucking her just about every night.”

You choked on thin air at his comment even if you knew it was true. It made you feel a bit off when he said it out loud. Especially with the context he was using it in. Taehyung was blunt most of the time and a weirdo basically all of it. He was fucking weird, but you loved him for it.

“You’re not gonna go right?”

“Are you?” he teased and you stood up to stretch for a moment. “Let’s show up together. He won’t get it though, he’s naive. Not like us, right? Someone you think you’re seeing shows up with a few hickeys and another dude and you’d get it. He won’t. He’d ask where you got those bruises from while my hands are down your pants or something.” he shrugged and you made another face. His sharp words made you a little uncomfortable and you thought it would be better if you just left the room instead of keeping this conversation going on for any longer than it should.

“I’m gonna go get dressed.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to cancel on Jimin. That was kinda the problem with all of this. The first time he’d asked you out you told yourself that’s where you’d end it. Your phone was full of fluttery texts messages that probably had him giggling to himself as you cringed on the other end. He was sweet, but he wasn’t really for you. If you’d been sober you probably would have never slept with him. Probably.

The night you slept with him was wild. The club you’d met him at was alive as were you and your friends. The entire place was having a great night and you’d gotten a bit too drunk off of tequila shots and fruity drinks. At some point during the night you’d met this blonde haired guy on the dance floor and the way he moved just impressed you on the spot. He was fluid in the way his flexible body moved and he surely proved it to you later. The night was a bit blotchy and blurry but you still remember almost every moment after leaving the club.

You’d almost begged Jimin to take you back to his apartment, itching for contact. You’d turned your phone off an hour ago after Taehyung kept rejecting you in your current state. He wouldn’t even make the effort to come and take you home. All you wanted to do was fuck and he wasn’t really down for that as he had a “night out with the guys”. You knew he wasn’t out with just guys and that fact alone somehow infuriated you. If he could easily be with other girls, you had this weird thing to prove to yourself that you could be with someone other than him too.

Also, Jimin was hot. Very hot.

The two of you had lazily hailed a taxi and he’d given the annoyed driver directions to his apartment. You didn’t recognize the area as you drove, but you weren’t entirely concentrated on knowing where you were. As you got out of the taxi, Jimin was already halfway to the door, fumbling to get his keys out of his pocket as fast as he could. It was endearing the way he was rushing to get you inside as if he was afraid you might even change your mind.

As soon as you both were in his apartment, your mouth was on his. Your lips molded together as you desired for more. His tongue grazed your bottom lip, begging for entrance, which you gladly gave. You tilted your head to the side to grant him more access but instead of using this opportunity, he suddenly pulled away from the kiss.

“My room’s this way.” he spoke and began to almost jog towards his room with your hand in his. Your memory of the night wasn't too full, but the next thing you remembered was being completely in awe of Jimin’s body now that you two were completely unclothed. He was above you in the dimly lit room, trailing small kisses up and down your body. Jimin was completely delicate in everything he did. The way he touched you, the way he kissed you. It was like he was trying not to break you, like you were glass ready to shatter at any moment. It was sweet in a way.

“Are you sure?” he asked for probably the twentieth time that night. “Because I know your drunk, I mean I’m kinda drunk too, but if you aren’t sure we can jus-”

“Jimin,” you cut him off. “Just fuck me.” You immediately felt him position himself to your entrance. He slowly began to push himself into you so you could easily adjust yourself. The second he had entered you gasped. The sensation of feeling him in you hurt at first but after a few moments the difference felt good, giving you both the pleasure you ached for. With each thrust you pushed back with your hips. He wasn’t as aggressive as Tae so this was a bit different for you.

“Harder.” you moaned and he obliged as soon as you uttered those words. He felt you tighten around him and bit his lip while nodding you along to reach your high.

“Let yourself go, baby girl.” the nickname send electricity to your core as you came and he continued thrusting into you, sweat rolling down his face.

“Fuck,” he leaned down to your ear and whispered through scattered brears. “I’m so close.” You gripped onto the sheets beside you as he began to pound into you. The weirdest thought of how he was still able to keep going when you thought he gave it all he had.

He bent down to whisper in your ear. “Do you mind if I cum on your tits?” You knew he meant it to be hot but you couldn’t help but chuckle at his question. You simply nodded your head. He pulled out and did it. Goodbye cruel world.

As soon as the sex was done, you remembered him cleaning you up and you trying to escape back to your own apartment. Jimin told you that you were too drunk and tired to go home. At this point you were completely sober and knew you could get home alright, but he was too nice to you for you to say no. That was basically the gist of how this whole mess had started. He was too nice, so you couldn’t say no.

Taehyung had tried to hop in your car as you drove yourself over to the bar Jimin had begged you to meet him at. He’d said that his two friends would be meeting you there, but you had no intention of bringing along your fuck buddy. He was gonna be there, but the fact that he wanted to spite his friend by walking in with his arm on you kind of annoyed you. Jimin was sweet and didn’t deserve that intense rejection.

When you walked in you spotted Jimin and his big smile with a taller boy who looked a bit younger than Jimin himself. He stood a bit awkwardly as he fidgeted while he spoke to his friend full of laughter. The moment the blonde man spotted you, his face lit up like he’d seen his favorite thing in the world. (Which you hoped wasn’t true.) Man, was he making this hard.

“Hey, Y/N!” He reached his arm around you and held you in an awkward hold for a moment. Jimin attempted to kiss you to which you cunningly dodged in the moment without it being too obvious. You still felt guilty.

“Hey Jimin.” your voice was stern as you attempted to direct yourself to lead off into the ‘break-up’. You weren’t too sure why you felt so bad. It wasn’t like you’d intentionally led him on, you’d just slept with the kid once. He’d spilled a bunch of details about his life when you’d gone out and you knew that he always dreamed of a girl like you. You weren’t too sure on what that meant, but you just nodded along.

“This is my best friend Jungkook!” he was lit up as you shook his friend's hand. You couldn’t help but to wonder why they were all hot. “We met back in High School and he’s like a little brother to me and- Ahh! Taehyung over here!”

This was it. The moment you’d been dreading for the past few hours. You could feel Tae’s eyes heavy on your back and even if it seemed rude, you couldn’t turn to face him. As his footsteps got closer you focused your eyes to the ground and just in time caught his arm snaking out towards your waist. You quickly moved around away from him and next to Jimin. The blonde greeted you with a smile and attempted to do the same thing Taehyung had just done.

This time you ran away over towards Jungkook and he seemed to be the only one noticing your odd behavior. He snickered as you ran in circles and you were pretty sure he’d instantly pegged what was happening. Your vibe had changed from a small awkward to a painfully awkward one just with the presence of their friend. “And this is Kim Taehyung, we were inseparable in High School.”

They fist bumped each other and the order of the motion made you cringe for some reason. Even if Tae was your best friend, it was always strange seeing him with his friends. His attitude didn’t change completely, but it was a bit uncomfortable. Whenever you were out with his friends Hoseok, Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jin, his personality was a bit different. He was extremely touchy with you and liked everyone to know in that moment you were his. Even if you truly weren’t.

That question always played through your mind of why you two weren’t together. It was such a strange subject for you both to discuss so you never really did. It would come up when one of his friends would get a girlfriend, the idea would float around. Then you’d both shut it down as you agreed that commitment was scary and you weren’t too ready for it. However once the conversation was over, your mind would always double back to it. You could see yourself dating Taehyung. You’d lived together for years and that was how the friends with benefits thing had even started up.

It was a joke at first, but you both obviously found each other attractive and it just happened. Then it happened again and again and you both had no complaints about it. He was quick about everything he did, but you fell into his patterns almost instantly and the quick nights turned into long ones that you genuinely enjoyed. You instantly would become a mess underneath him almost every night. You liked being around Taehyung, even before these feelings began to dwell inside of you.

All they ever truly did was dwell, as you knew he was occasionally sleeping with other girls. It was a rare occurrence, but you could always feel a strong ping of jealousy run through you when you heard unfamiliar moans circle your own home. At first it would make you mad, but soon it began to make you cry. Weren’t you enough?

It eventually got to a point where you casually asked Taehyung in a conversation. His response was, “Sometimes I just get really fucked up and think she’s you.” At the time you rolled your eyes at the comment but it soon began to piss you off to an even further extend when you began to blame yourself for it. At a point you’d stopped hanging out with his friends when Tae went out because seeing them with whatever girl they were seeing began to get to you a bit. You wanted that. So you stopped and that’s when the other girls started.

However, after you’d asked him you hadn’t seen any other girls wandering your apartment. So, you just figured that he began to go to their houses out of respect. Taehyung had figured you were seeing other guys when it had really only been Jimin. It’d be 2 years and you’d been with 2 guys while you didn’t even want to ask Tae what his number is. You weren’t sure if you could take it. That’s when you realized you probably had feelings for him. A bit more than fucking and watching shitty movies. You kinda wanted to hold his hand when you two were out and not with his friends. You wanted him to only want to be with you.

“Ahh, Y/N.” Taehyung smirked, dangling a beer in front of your face. “You zoned out for a moment, peaches.” you rolled your eyes and slowly moved your head from side to side to tell him to stop. He simply shrugged it off,  “Jiminie, you know we know each other, right? This is my roommate.”

“The really hot one-” Jungkook blurted out and Taehyung hit the side of his face. He sounded excited to finally meet you and you couldn’t help but you wonder just what Tae had told them about you. You felt your own face heating up as you instinctively moved over to Tae and hid behind him. “Wait, so that means…” Jungkook had most definitely pieced it all together as he chuckled as his voice trailed.

Jimin’s facial expression changed into one you hadn’t seen before. He looked angry. “So my- the girl I thought was my girlfriend-”

“I never said that I was your girlfriend.” you finally brought yourself to say with an interruption to Jimin. His eyes pierced through you as he went back to the rant that was beginning to ensue. You shrunk behind Taehyung and he wrapped the arm he wanted to previously to pull you into him. Being yelled at wasn’t something you took well, but you knew you deserved it here.

“Then why couldn’t you fucking tell me that?!” his voice was raised to such a level that the entire bar stopped speaking for a moment. He looked around and it picked back up. “I’ve been fucking chasing you for weeks and you couldn’t even properly tell me no? Instead you show up here and embarrass me. Did you know about this Taehyung?”

“Not until a few hours ago.”

“And you still came?” Jimin scoffed and ran his hands through his hair. “Classic V, always doing what he wants. Whatever, I’ll calm down, but you two need to leave me alone. Kook, let’s go.”

“I’m sorry.” you whispered and Jimin simply rolled his eyes to the response. Jungkook’s eyes were wide as Jimin spoke and he shrugged as he trailed after the other. Once his old friends were gone, Tae couldn’t help but to laugh.

“Are you kidding me?” you sighed and gulped down the drink that’d been sitting in your hand this entire time. “I’m going home.”

“Hey.” Tae kissed the top of your head and used his free hand to push your chin up so your eyes met his own dark ones. “Don’t let it get to you, okay? He’ll forgive you if you ever wanna be friends or something, but don’t let it make you sad.”

Then as you two were alone, he did something that was rare. Something that caught you off guard. Taehyung leaned down and you leaned forward to meet his lips halfway. His free hand came up to your hair and brushed through it as he normally did when you two were in private. This kiss was different than every other time, it felt more real than the other ones did. This was the first time he’d ever kissed you out of his comfort zone and you almost melted into the moment.

It was short and sweet and for some reason it felt so- pure. It was a venture into the unknown with him, but he was always full of new things. As soon as he pulled away from you there was an immediate blush across your cheeks. He had this cocky grin across his face and you had to turn away before you blurted out something you’d regret.

“Let’s go home before you attract some other guy.” he teased and led you out. “I took a cab here so you’d have to drive me home.”

“Of course you did.” your voice came out a bit shaky as you pulled out your keys and passed them to him. “You’re driving home.”

“Why, are you gonna have some kinda spasm cause I kissed you?” he was so full of pride about himself it was sort of adorable. “I know, I’m full of surprises.” he snatched the keys from you and skipped up ahead as you slowly walked to the car. Your mind was at the speed of a professional racer at the moment and you were just full of a joyous sensation.

You lazily got into the car and put on the seatbelt seconds before he drove off like the normal madman he was. You were lost in a daze, but snapped out of it once he turned to you at a red light. “You know I care about you too, right? Like, I think I love you or something.” you choked on thin air as he laughed like a maniac. “That's why I only sleep with you now. I tried others cause I was afraid it was some one sided shit, right? Then you got so sad when you asked me and I knew I had to stop.”

“So, you knew before I did?” your face was red and you turned your body so that your face was hidden. He felt his hand touch your upper arm and rub circles into it. You peeked your face up out the window and could see his smile in the reflection.

“You know what else I knew?” His smile was giant. “I knew we’d always end up together, peaches. Always.”

“Together?” you snapped your head towards him and clicked your tongue as he continued.

“Yeah, we’re dating now so when a it approaches you, you can say you have a boyfriend and maybe now you'll come hang out with my friends and I. They miss you too.” he cleared his throat and turned into a McDonald's, “Can you pay?”

“Is this the only reason you want to date me? So I can buy you food?” you joked, going into your bag for your wallet. He became flustered for a moment and you poked at his cheek. “Oh, chill. I know you wasted all of your money on something stupid.”

“It was loot bo-”

“Please don't tell me.”

Author’s Note:  Hey!! So I hope you guys enjoyed this, it's something I've been sitting on for a while and really enjoyed writing it. @btsmochimochi helped me with the concept & another with the smut I'm too shy to write! I'd appreciate any kind of feedback, hope you liked it!

[theamazinguchihabruhs]

18th Birthday

“No, this isn’t supposed to happen! Why now?! Why to me?! This is the worst luck I’ve ever had in my entire life!”   Naruto saw the old, wrinkled hands grab the package from the table. His heart was pounding in his chest and sweat appeared on his forehead. “Hey, are you alright?” Izuna’s voice was supposed to straddle the blond, but as it turned out, even the sudden hand on the blond’s shoulder didn’t allow any more stress to go through his veins. He had reached the maximum. “Oh, fuck me…dattebayo…” Naruto muttered, seeing how the aunt gave the wrapped package to Sasuke who put it on his lap. The blond closed his eyes. How did he ever get in this situation? Oxoxoxo “Hey beautiful, what brings you here?” Naruto leaned against the door frame and winked when he saw Sasuke. The Uchiha looked behind him, as if he was trying to make sure the blond was talking to him. “Therapy?” He answered with a rather clueless expression on his face. “Itaaiiii~” Naruto grabbed his heart in a dramatic way, sliding his back against the door frame, pretending to fall down. “I am deeply hurt that you're choosing my father over me” “It is really not my choice” “Forced by your family!” Naruto suddenly jumped up again, “Let’s run away then!” “Did you take your medication or are you by any means drunk?” Sasuke asked as he allowed himself in and proceeded to take his shoes off. “Yes and no…but...I am not saying the order” Naruto made a finger gun gesture. “...so this is just your afternoon of boredom?” “I have nothing to do, dattebayo!” Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke, almost hanging around him.   “Find a hobby, usuratonkachi” Sasuke said. “Stay with meee~ you don’t know the agony it is to be an only child” Naruto leaned his chin on Sasuke’s shoulder. The Uchiha didn’t even need to turn his head around to see the puppy eyes. “You don’t know how troublesome it is to have five brothers”  Sasuke sighed. “It is better than-where is my mom-?” Naruto suddenly let go of Sasuke. “My concern lies with your father, where is your father?” The Uchiha asked as he followed the blond to the living room. “Uhm dad...dad is with…” Naruto suddenly fell silent as his eyes were glued on the paused video game. “Have you ever played GTA? I am playing GTA5 right now” “I am not really into gaming, but I asked you where your father is” Sasuke reminded the blond who sat indian style in front of the TV. He grabbed the controller from the ground again. “Uhm dad...yeah...uhm-” He seem to be too occupied with his game again to remember the question. “Naruto!” “Yeah, he is still busy with another patient” Naruto muttered, “Geez, you don’t need to scream, you start to sound like my mother, dattebayo~” He suddenly paused the game. “Oh yeah...I was looking for mom” Sasuke felt a sweatdrop appear on his forehead. He wondered how long this was going on. “Hey Sasuke, wanna play?” Naruto asked, his eyes suddenly went from Sasuke to the door opening where Minato stood. “Son, I went to five different furniture shops with your mother to get that couch, you better use it” “Eeehh? Mom always says you dragged her to hundreds of furniture shops because you wanted ‘eggshell’ and not ‘snow flake white’, dattebayo” Naruto stood up and sat on the couch. “Pff-” Sasuke had to cover his mouth to not laugh. He cleared his throat feeling the look he received, “My brother is like that too” “Yeah right, get to my office” Minato said. “Where is mom?” Naruto asked. “She went shopping, she told you three times” Minato said. “Oh yeah, aaaah~” Naruto suddenly dropped the control and put his hands in his air, “I forgot to ask her to get the beef flavoured ramen cups!” “Believe me, son, she bought them” Minato shook his head slightly. The cupboards are always filled with ramen cups when you have two ramen lovers in the family. “Hey Sasuke, wanna play after you’re done with my dad?” Naruto grabbed the controller back up and looked questionably ahead of him. “That...sounded...kinda...wrong...” He said, tapping his index finger on his chin. “I can’t-” Sasuke couldn’t even give an explanation before Naruto whiningly demanded one. “But wwwhhyyyyyyy~ ?” He whined. “Because I have to catch the train to the Valley-” “Eeeeehhh! The Valley of the End? But why?” Naruto looked almost sad. “I have to do some preparations for my birthday” Sasuke said and he could see Naruto’s eyes suddenly realizing that the Uchiha’s birthday was the day after tomorrow.   “Oh right, you are going to be eighteen!” Naruto said excitedly. “Hey, you wanna come? I mean, to my birthday” Sasuke asked. “Hell yeah I wanna, who else is coming? Like...from school?” Naruto asked.   The Uchiha smiled kindly. “Just you” Sasuke said, “I will text you the address” “Yeah, sure thing” Naruto said. Seeing his father and Sasuke disappear behind the office door. “Why even go to another city though?” The blond muttered. Oxoxoxo “I can’t even say it is my fault, dattebayo! He invited me two days before! I have nothing!” Naruto sat down on a bench and sighed in exhaustion. “Why is life so haaarrrdd~” “It isn’t life, it is because you wanna get in this dude’s pants” Naruto’s eyes widened and he quickly had to move his hand before his cousin would stand on it with his boot. “Eh! That is not it at all!” Naruto stood back up, not risking breaking a finger with his impatient cousin. “He is turning eighteen, it is sort of a big deal, dattebayo~” He put his hands in his pockets before turning his head around seeing the display of a jewelry store. “Oh, that is nice” Naruto stared at the silver necklace with a small star. “Thank you, destiny” The blond put his hands together like he was praying. “Oi!” His cousin woke Naruto up from his thoughts. Naruto hissed feeling his cousin slap him on the back of the head. “Are you going to waste fifty bucks on the fag? Dude...must be some ass then” “Shut up, Menma!” Naruto punched his cousin in the shoulder as he stared at the necklace.  “You think he would actually wear it?” “Fuck man, I don’t even know this dude, but from what you told me...hmm” Menma didn’t finish his sentence as he turned around to walk away from the display. “What? What? Tell me, dattebayo!” Naruto followed him. “Nar-idiot, all I know is that this guy is celebrating his birthday in whole other city with nobody knowing about it but you” Menma walked towards a smoothie stance, ordering two smoothies. “Menma?!” Naruto tried to catch his attention. “All I am saying that it is sketchy, you feel me?’ Menma handed his cousin one of the smoothies. “What do you mean sketchy? Sasuke isn’t a bad kid...boy...man?” Naruto looked confused. “Dude turns eighteen, he needs therapy and you don’t even know why, he celebrates his birthday in a different town and nobody you know is invited and besides that...you did get a last minute invitation” Menma raised his shoulder in a not caring way, “Maybe it is some weird kinky sex party” Naruto spit the smoothie out, bursting out laughing. “Sasuke’s a virgin! He told me himself”  Naruto said, wiping an escaped tear from the corner of his eye. “Why would he even tell you? Even if it is true, what better way to start your adult life than becoming an adult...and give away your innocence” “...to me?” Naruto raised a confused eyebrow. “To you and 4 manwhores and perhapst 2 hookers” Menma commented. “No, he is not like that at all...is he?”   “Didn’t he give you an address?” Menma asked and Naruto grabbed his phone and showed the address. “Holy fuck, that is Sasuke! Fuck, he is hot”  Menma commented, grabbing his cousin’s phone and enlarging the profile picture. “No, that is Itachi, his brother, that next to him is Sasuke” Naruto pointed out. “Mwah” Menma suddenly did not seem interested anymore as he looked at the conversation. “That is a BDSM club...told ya”   Naruto’s eyes widened, not believing what his cousin said. “Yes…I just know...don’t...question me…” Menma looked away awkwardly as he handed Naruto’s phone back. For a moment, all Naruto could imagine was a dungeon only lit by candle lights and filled with all types of people. Some hanging from ropes and getting whipped while others were chained against the wall with some sort of electrical shock devices around their nipples. He could see Sasuke sit on a throne, wearing some dominatrix outfit while people licked his boots clean. He was holding this whip, playing with it as Naruto approached him to give his present and wish him a happy birthday. Sasuke would laugh and throw it towards him before telling him to get the hell away from his amazing party. As two beautiful, but very scary women would drag him away he could see Nardo appear on Sasuke’s lap, making out with the raven. “Naruto, Naruto, Naruto!” Menma bitch slapped his cousin’s face, who took a step back and looked almost desperate. “God, I need to come with a better gift!” He panicked before narrowing his eyes, “Fucking Nardo!” Naruto hissed clenching a fist. “Dude, I know what you should get him during his crazy kinky sex party!” Menma wrapped his arm around his cousin and pointed at a small, almost hidden shop, “Sex shop!” Oxoxoxox Naruto took a deep breath as he looked at the screen of his phone, following the navigation to the address Sasuke had given him. It is supposed to be around the corner. Naruto looked around him, seeing a few adults walking from that direction. “Damn, I was stuffed! I don’t think anymore would have fit!” He heard the woman say. Naruto felt his heart beat faster and he hesitated for a second. Maybe he wasn’t ready to see such a side of Sasuke’s .Was he even allowed to judge? It was just not in his comfort zone...he could run back to the train station...just make up some lie as to why he never could make it.   Suddenly an image of Sasuke on the phone appeared in his head. Naruto had called him to cancel and Sasuke told him it was alright. The raven would put the phone away, but what he probably didn’t know that he never ended the call and so Naruto could hear Utakata and Sasuke moan on the other side of the line…then he would suddenly heard Nardo’s voice making some fucking pun. The blond shook his head to wake himself up. He had a determined look in his eyes before he swallowed and just kept walking while curing Nardo and Utakata in his head.   “You reached your destination” Naruto looked at his phone, seeing a smiling face. He turned the navigation off before looking around him. You would think a BDSM club would be pretty notable between all these...restaurants. The blond turned his face to the building next to him. “Big Belly café...eat till you are stuffed…” Naruto read the sign outloud. It became clear why Sasuke used to live in this city. “Hey” Naruto screamed before jumping around and holding his hand like some sort of ninja. He could see Sasuke laugh at his reaction. “I am glad you came” The Uchiha said. Naruto looked at Sasuke from head to toe before doing it all one more time. “You look…handsome…” Naruto surprise wasn’t well hidden. How many times did he see Sasuke dress kinda fancy? Maybe three times. “Ah yeah, I don’t usually wear suits, my aunt really insisted” “Aunt?” Naruto asked. “Yeah, her house is five minutes away from here, it is kinda hard to find, so I figured I would meet you here”   “Big...Belly...Café...Aha…” Naruto scratched the back of his head. Had Menma been lying to him when he mentioned the BDSM club?   “Ah, I know what you are thinking, on google maps there is still a image of some weird kinky club, it closed about three years ago, you must have been freaked out” Suddenly the entire café seemed unsanitary. “Nevermind that...uhm...we are going to your aunt’s house?” “Yes, she made so much food, be ready to get stuffed” “Oh, I was ready to get stuffed…in a different sense” Naruto swallowed, “Uhm...so...your aunt?” “Yes, she is so nice, she is like those stereotypical grandmothers that over-feeds their grandchildren” “So it kinda equals to...meeting...your...grandparents?” The panic started the rise. Not only did he wear quite the sexy and uncomfortable underwear at this moment...he had also  bought a remote control butt plug sex toy 30 speed vibration G spot prostate massager for adult men for Sasuke’s 18th Birthday. “Yeah, kinda...am I freaking you out?” Sasuke asked. “No! No!” Naruto said, “Lead the way!” At this moment all Naruto wanted was to get hit by a truck...and fast. It was a quick walk to a small house that seemed to be pretty comfy for a bunch of old people. He walked behind Sasuke inside the house. The moment the door opened...Naruto wished a plane would crash on him or a zombie attack would happen right now because not only were all 5 brothers present for the first time in 18 years of birthdays, there were a bunch of old people that seem to be old family friends. “I am back” Sasuke said, taking his shoes off and putting them aside, “This is Naruto, he is a good friend of mine” “Nice to meet you all” The smile couldn’t be any faker than that particular moment. “Oh, so this is Naruto, I have heard so many great things about you!” An old rather big woman approached him before hugging him. “Look at you, I can break your spine in two!” “Aunty” Sasuke said slightly embarrassed. “Oh yes, yes, no more taunting, boy, do you even lift?” Her hand was wrapped around Naruto’s bicep. “I lift…crisps bag, dattebayo” Naruto jokes, causing her to laugh. “Oh, I like you already! Sit down dear, oh no, eat first!” She first pulled Naruto towards the couch, but then changed directions towards the dining table that was filled with all kinds of food. It seems she went out of her way to make this a good day. “Oh, you can put our gift with the others” She said things...but she did it herself. She grabbed Naruto’s gift bag and took the gift out of it and put it on the table with the other gifts, but not before she looked at the wrapping paper and noted how their tastes were similar because she used the exact same one. Naruto couldn’t bring himself to tell the old lady that it wasn’t him that had wrapped the gift. It was the shady sex shop downtown Konoha that did. “You are not allergic to anything are you?” She talked loudly, but she wasn’t waiting for an answer when she grabbed a big plate and filled it with all types of food. Naruto swore the plate was heavier than five kilos and it was physically impossible to put any more food on it. “Nuts...I am allergic to nuts…” “Oh, you grow some nuts!” Another old lady commented as she walked passed them. Her steps were so tiny...Naruto saw turtles walk faster than that. “Oh, don’t eat the cake” The aunt said. Well...there were three types of cake on that very same table. “Aunty” Sasuke sat on the couch, apparently getting asked a bunch of questions by these old relatives.    “Yes, sugar bun, I am coming” “Aunty~!” Sasuke said slightly annoyed, it made Naruto chuckle. “Speaking of lifting, can you lift that plate?” Shisui asked. “Please hold the plate my arms are trembling” Naruto talked fast before pushing the plate in Shisui’s arms. “I am so sorry! I...I forgot to call my mother! Haha, yeah, worried mother, y’know!” Naruto said walking towards the garden. He quickly grabbed his phone and called his cousin. “Ey, how is your sex-party?” He could hear his cousin ask on the other end of the line. “It is filled with elderly relatives which will all have a heart attack once they see what I got Sasuke! You said the address was some sex club, but it was a café! You screwed me!” “Okay, firstly...I am pretty sure it was a bdsm club and secondly, you know the guy! I don’t! You said he was a virgin, what did you expect!?” Menma asked. Just before Naruto could imagine his third weird scenario of the outcome. He shook his head. “The fuck am I supposed to do now?! I don’t want to be responsible for the death of 5 elderly people and an old aunt and uncle! Besides…all his brothers are here too and I did mention the smart one not liking me so much!” Naruto hissed. “What do you want me to do? Just get the fuck out of there” Menma suggested. “I can’t just take the gift with me!...can I?” “Naruto...Naruto...Naruto...you used to steal cars, unlock every lock and shoplift liquor, if you can’t steal a fucking box in some party filled with old people...you should hang yourself” “...you got a point there…I just have to make it disappear before excusing myself because of some ‘family emergency’ and then nobody would be suspicious” Naruto said. “Bye Nar-idiot” “Tch” Naruto hissed, looking at the screen before putting his phone away.  He cursed under his breath before walking back inside. “Izuna” Naruto looked relieved seeing his friend eating a cupcake. Izuna turned his head to Naruto and almost choked on the cake because he wanted to say something. He coughed a few times before grabbing a can of soda and drinking it. “You almost killed me!” Izuna said...Owh if he only knew Naruto was about to murder a lot more tonight. “I need your help” Naruto grabbed Izuna’s arm and pulled him towards the corner of the room. “You can’t ask me why...but I need you to distract everyone near that gift table so I can grab my gift back!” “Why do you wanna steal your gift back?” “I just…I have regrets, alright?” Naruto sighed. “You owe me though” Izuna said, grabbing a glass,  “Attention! Please! I would like to make a toast!” Izuna said loudly in the room, catching everyone’s attention. “What!? You want toast?!” “No...a toast like...a speech!” Izuna shook his head in disbelief. “I remember when Sasuke was…well this happened last weekend, so~” Izuna continued his story as Naruto sneaked towards the table. His hand near his gift, he just had to grab it really fast and nobody would even know...that was the plan at least. He suddenly felt an arm wrapped around his and the blond looked shocked. “Ah, they grow up so fast don’t they” Sasuke’s aunt whispered. “Ha...ha...yeah…” Naruto looked at his arm. Why did old people love him so much?! Damn the Uzumaki charm! “I am glad to meet you, Sasuke always talks so fondly about you” “He does?” For a moment Naruto forgot about his mission. He looked at Sasuke, who looked so beautiful today. He could see the dark eyes look directly into his, followed by a small smile. Naruto returned the smile, seeing Sasuke chuckle once he noticed his aunt. Apparently it pleased him to see his aunt liked Naruto. “...anyway! The point of my toast is...no matter how old this faggot gets, he will always be fucking dumb, cheers!” Izuna raised his glass, but most of the guests just gave him a questionable look. The toast was a trainwreck, it couldn’t be helped. “Oh, I should probably fill the bowl of crisps” The aunt finally let go of Naruto’s arm. “Dude, I was running out of stories, did you get it? Where is it?” Izuna whispered. “It is the box wrapped in pink wrapping paper, on the table…your aunt ambushed me...so... ” Naruto said. “Change of plans, you distract them and I will get your gift and throw it in the trash can” “No, I can’t show up empty handed...I was gonna change the present with…with…” Naruto hand reached in his pockets, but he didn’t have anything on him. “Your necklace?” Izuna suggested. Naruto looked at his necklace. “I can’t...my Godmother passed it down to me…” The blond turned his head to Sasuke, seeing him play scrabble with Itachi. He seemed so happy. “It is worth it...right?” “Dude, this ain’t a fucking disney movie, give him your jacket instead or something” Izuna rolled his eyes. “Tell you this...you fall down in the living room and while everybody is gasping and acting so shocked, I will grab your gift and put it in the garden” “...fine” Naruto said,  “But, uhm...how will I make it look realis-” The blond couldn't finish his sentence. He got pushed towards the coffee table, falling on the scrabble game before rolling off it on the ground. “Fuck!” Naruto cursed. How he wished to strangle Izuna...but it did work. “Are you alright?” Sasuke rushed to his side. Naruto rubbed his head, seeing some blood in his hand. “Niisan, he is bleeding” “Let him bleed” Itachi answered harshly. Shisui punched him in the shoulder, causing Itachi to roll his eyes and get up. “How did you even...ugh, you are so stupid you can’t even walk” Itachi knelt down, grabbing his face with both hands and looking at the scrape on Naruto’s forehead. “Niisan, be nicer” Sasuke had an annoyed expression on his face. “It is just a scrape, no worries” Itachi said, “Chances of concussion is small anyway...he has no brain to begin with it” “Naruto...how are you feeling?” Sasuke asked, still holding him. “My head feels a bit heavy…” Naruto rubbed the back of his head, before seeing Izuna make a sign with his fingers. “Oohh, it is gone! Wow, I am healed, dattebayo!” Naruto jumped up. “Random” Madara muttered. An awkward silence filled the room. “Shall we open presents?” Shisui suggested. “Yeah, great idea” Everybody seemed to agree. Naruto ran to the backyard, seeing Izuna point under the tree. “You gotta hurry, they are unwrapping gifts” Izuna said, looking through the window. “Yeah, yeah...you go inside, I will follow soon, dattebayo” Naruto said, Taking his jacket off before unwrapping the gift carefully, it felt like he was defusing a bomb. Well, he had to wrap it back in neatly. He pulled the box out, frowning when he couldn’t recall it being made of wood. He opened it and his eyes widened seeing some old gun inside it. He suddenly recalled that Sasuke’s aunt had used the exact same wrapping paper as the sex- shop had. But… That means the gift… IS STILL IN THE HOUSE! Naruto ran like the wind, causing him almost to slip. He saw the aunt give Sasuke Naruto’s present. “Please Sasuke, read my face, have a telepathic conversation with me, hear me...please just...put that present away! Don’t open it!”  Naruto thought, seeing the Uchiha look at him. “OMG it works!” “Sasuke, I am looking at the gift,t hen at you and I am shaking my head...please...please...understand!” Sasuke nodded and whispered something to Itachi, who rolled his eyes. He grabbed something from his bag and got up. He walked to Naruto and put something in the blond’s hand. “Sasuke said you were constipated…put it in water and drink it” Itachi whispered before walking back to his seat. “I am fucked” Naruto sighed. “This is from me” The aunt said. Sasuke looked at the gift on his lap, wanting to open it, but his aunt stopped him. “There is actually a bit of history behind this gift I give you today” She held Sasuke’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “See, your great grandfather had used this during the first shinobi war, he had kept it close to him every night during the war, and every night since, he passed it onto your grandfather, who has used it during the second great shinobi war, my father…” She took a deep breath, “He told me, how he used to practice with it...day in...day out, it wasn’t his favourite, but it had history, he ended up teaching your father...he had given me this to one day...give to you, I wished he was still around to see how wonderful and beautiful you have turned to be, I hope he can watch you use this from heaven”  She smiled, “Open it, dear” Sasuke had this childish glimpse in his eyes. He opened the gift and his eyes widened when he had opened the gift. He looked shocked at his aunt, before looking back down. He did that for a total of three times. “...they had these in the first shinobi war?” Sasuke looked shocked. “Yes…” His aunt looked confused, almost hurt even. “I can’t take it anymore!” Naruto shouted, getting everyone’s attention, “That gift wasn’t your aunt’s...it was mine” He sighed. “...what the fuck is it?” Madara asked Sasuke grabbed the present, holding it up for his brothers to see. “A remote control butt plug sex toy 30 speed vibration G spot prostate massager for adult men!” The all suddenly said together, causing both Naruto and Sasuke to give them weird looks. “I am...so sorry, it was meant as a joke...that was before I knew this…is how you celebrated your 18th birthday” “Just when I thought I couldn’t hate you more” Itachi shook his head. “...I know I should be happy that my aunt didn’t gave me a three generation used sex-toy…but...somehow it was nice to think they had these in the first shinobi war” Sasuke laughed. “Thank you, Naruto” Even in a room filled with judgemental eyes...it suddenly seemed the entire room was empty except for the Uchiha laughing. “But I would like my Browning Hi-Power now” Sasuke said. “You knew?’ The aunt asked. “Yes, he taught me how to shoot with it the very first time, he told me I could have that very gun, when the time was right, since I didn’t get it on my 13th birthday, I figured he would have given it to me on my 18th...but he isn’t here anymore, so...I am glad you kept it all these years” His aunt suddenly hugged him very tightly, almost suffocating the Uchiha in her chest. “You are so precious!” She said. “Tell me about it…”Naruto muttered. Oxoxoxox “Hey, I am so sorry about…the gift, I let my cousin get to me when I was shopping for the perfect gift”  Naruto said, leaning against the door frame. He was getting a ride from Shisui back to Konoha. “I am used to it through the years, don’t worry about it, it is gonna be a funny story to tell one day” Sasuke said. “Uhm...I could return it though? Get you something good?” “Oh no, you don’t have to...it is thought that counts” Sasuke said, way too fast. Naruto narrowed his eyes. “Oh you dirty Uchiha, dattebayo” He laughed. “Pfff, you bought it, right?” Sasuke shook his head. “Y’know what, Sasuke, close your eyes” “...fine” The Uchiha did as Naruto asked, he felt the blond put something around his neck before kissing Sasuke’s cheek. “Happy birthday, Sasuke” Naruto whispered. Sasuke opened his eyes, looking down at the necklace he had seen Naruto wearing for three years now. He smiled down at it before looking at Naruto waving eagerly at him as he stepped inside his car. “Thank you, Naruto” Sasuke said, feeling his heart beat faster. How much can you love one troublesome guy…a lot it turns out. ===special thanks to @failureoftheyear for editing===

[thebogdanone]

Short play from overheard...

(Miles and Scott are on their way to work. It's early, just past dawn, on a gloomy morning in London. They work in finance. They are both in their early 20's and are living the rather mundane lives of the work-a-day world but they work for a mysterious woman who runs a hedge fund. They are two of her staff of 18: all males, all brilliant, all in their early 20's. Neither Miles nor Scott can figure their boss out. She dresses as though she is heading out for an elegant evening every single day. She is in her early 50's (they guess) and she is rather stunning. She is always 100% put together; they have never seen her in jeans with hair pulled back and no make-up. When she arrives at the office (every single day at 7:45 sharp!) she spends 30 minutes at her computer — 30 minutes exactly — then she comes out of her office and into the board room where the entire staff have a morning meeting, every morning, at 8:15. The meeting lasts exactly 45 minutes — never longer and never shorter. She never raises her voice, she is always very clear with her instructions, and she is very polite when asking and answering questions. Needless to day moral in the office is excellent as are quarterly results. No one complains because everyone knows exactly what is expected of them. It’s like they are all living in a dorm and working on a senior finance project every single day. Then their boss leaves for the majority of the work day. She returns promptly at 4:15 PM.  She is never late.)

(Blaring loudspeaker at the bus terminal)

Transit employee: "Attention please. All bus and tramway services are delayed due to dispatch problems. Again, all bus and tramway services are delayed due to dispatch problems. STB apologizes for the inconvenience and thanks you for your patience."

Scott: "Freaking great. What the hell is wrong with this city? We can't be late again.”

Miles: "Relax man, we've got time. Sooooo...how was the big date?"

Scott: "Yeah, we ended up not going."

Miles: "WTF...please don't tell me you chickened out."

Scott: "Naw man...its me, my head. I'm so F-ed up. I called her and cancelled when I walked by the theater on my way home and saw the line. I overheard someone say: 'They’re not getting in. There’s no way.' and I just thought it would be some weird, awkward moment standing in a line with a human I don't actually know and so I called her — at least I didn't text — and told her I had to work late. I know, I know, schmuck."

Miles: "What is your problem. Do you want to die a virgin?"

Scott: "At this point I think that may be my reality...really, my head is just so screwed up. Last night AGAIN I was just, like, running circles in my head. I couldn’t sleep. It’s terrible. All this week I’ve been so worried about work with the emails and all her visitors…I get like 200 a day and I can’t even read them until after our morning meetings. I don’t know. I really wish she was more into [inaudible] because this would all be going much better if she was."

Miles: "Dude, WTF, she is the most amazing boss.  We have the cushiest jobs in all of London's finance district. Really! I mean why are you stressing. Most of the guys would die to be her assistant. You have got to relax. Take it easy. She is so chill...Shit man, we work for 'Madame Chill' for god’s sake!"

Scott: "Yeah man that's just it...maybe that IS IT!  Maybe she's a madame!"  

Miles: "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? That chick Daisy you were supposed to go out with? Why the hell would you say she's a madame?"

Scott: "No! Idiot! Marnie, our boss, stupid! I'm serious…maybe…maybe she's a madame…?"

Miles: "What the fuck ever gave you that idea, man? You are nuts! She's a smart trust fund kid who decided she wanted to wear the pants and so she invested well, hired us idiots to manage her investments, and her life, and she goes off each day doing her thing. Shite, I think she deserves to do whatever she pleases — hair, nails, meet a man...whatever...as long as we all do our jobs and get paid. Why on earth would you be thinking that about her...your head really is screwed up!"

(Miles now moves around to look Scott in the eyes in an attempt to better evaluate this situation...)

Miles: "Really man I am worried about you..where is all of this coming from?"

Scott: "Naw man...really...you should see her personal date book…and what's even weirder is I think she is a madame for a stable of male prostitutes! No shite! The other day she was on the phone saying: 'I didn’t say Bogdan was getting fat; I said he was getting fatter!' and then she said 'maybe we should send him to that place in Florida for awhile and let Harrison take over his accounts.’ Come on Miles...what the hell do you think she is talking about? (more anxious, agitated and confused now...) I mean if she has another office of boys just like us she would not be discussing replacing brains in finance because they are getting fat...or would she...all these healthy lunch options and that new gym installed last year...maybe she's a fatist!  That's IT!  She's a fatist! Fuck...I knew it..."

Miles: Dude…man…dude…hold on there and calm the fuck down...your brain is firing on all pistons and revving out of control! A Madame...a stable of boys...a fatist...you really need calm down and I honestly think you need to see someone. This is insane thinking! Marnie is just a relaxed woman who has come into her own. Life is good for her and in turn it’s good for me...and for you too. We are the fortunate ones! Have you ever seen that woman get upset or ever raise her voice past her rather seductive default whisper? No. I bet you have not! Just because she is unconventional does not mean she is up to things untoward.

Scott: (running his hands through his hair and trying to shake himself out of it...) "I know, I know…man, I need ta charge my phone...is that a plug...what the heck is that thing? Do you know what that’s connected to? Wait; don’t TOUCH it!...I thinks it’s live! Shite I gotta get my head back to rights...I nearly electrocuted us!"

Miles: "Hey man, why don't we just sit over there and listen to some of my tracks. I downloaded these two new songs and they're kinda like modern manele."

(Scott takes ear pods from Miles)

Scott: "I’m sorry but cowboy music is nothing like manele.” (he hands the ear pods directly back to Miles shaking his head) "That shite is just raw sewage spewing in your ears. Your taste in music sucks man!"

Transit  employee (over loudspeaker):"Good early morning; the buses are all running late today. Trams too."

Scott: "God, five more minutes and I'm Ubering it. I can't handle the stress of this commute much longer..."

(Just then the engines of the buses can be heard starting up and Miles and Scott queue to be amongst the first on the impending bus.)

(Like clockwork their work day begins at their morning meeting at 8:15. Marnie is looking especially smart today in a tight knee-length black suit with a deep V front and cream colored silk scarf just sneaking out from the collar. Her Louis Vuitton silver-toed pumps and seamed stockings complete the look.  The meeting is like all the others, efficient, to the point, and lasting exactly 45 minutes. They are all back at their cubicles now and anticipating lunch.)

Miles (to all the guys within earshot): "Anyone have a suggestion where I can take Daisy this weekend? I think she is starting to think I'm a complete bore.”

Charles: "How about the Taste of London down at the docks. I brought Katharina last year and she loved it. Cold though, man. A good excuse to keep close and, of course, drink!"

Miles: "Hmmm, she is quite the foodie...that would be perfect. What's it called..(he speaks it out as he types it into a google search)... taste of london...yeah man, looks fun. Thanks. Excellent suggestion! Should score me some brownie points...and then some..."

(Miles turning his swivel chair around to Scott)

Miles: "How 'bout you tiger...wanna come and bring that Tinder hottie along — it could be a double date..."

Scott: "I'll think about it but I'm dealing with landlord shite right now.  My housemates are freaking out. I don’t know why the landlord always picks Thursdays. We all have classes all day every Thursday. Today she just calls us up and asks if someone will be there to let the heating tech in. I think maybe she remembers Thursday but forgets what it is about Thursday she’s supposed to remember. I mean how hard is it - Thursday are off limits...no access...capiche?  She is another mystery woman in my life... she always smells heavy of garlic and she’s so frail I wonder if she's on some 'garlic only' diet."

Miles: "Man you are just the weirdest human alive! You should write spy novels or somethin.’  You’re suspicious of everyone. I wonder what you think I'm up to...maybe I'm moonlighting as a stripper at night…"

Scott "Naw man, no way, they only hire hot, hung dudes for those jobs!"

(Miles chucks a tension-relief ball at Scott's head but he ducks and it misses him. They all get back to work. Later in the afternoon Miles check the time...)

Miles: "Well boys, five minutes to the Madame show..."

(Miles stands up to open the window. They are anticipating the arrival of Marnie and they know the sound of her G-wagon as it pulls around to the rear of the office building. Two minutes later the hydro purr of the Mercedes engine rounds the corner and they all nod knowingly.)

(Moments later, there is loud talking in the alley between the building...they can't see who is talking but it is definitely two women.)

Women in Alley: "You’re a cow.   You’re a FUCKING COW!   YOU STOLE MY FUCKING MONEY!    GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HERE YOU DISGUSTING WHORE.   YOU STOLE MY MONEY AND MY MAN!"

(Miles and Scott stick their heads out the window and they see Marnie stumble from the alley adjusting her scarf. She looks like she's injured on her arm or her leg ...or both...)

Miles: "Shit man - that's Marnie and she looks hurt.  We need to go down there right now..."

(Turning from the window in a panic...)

Scott: "No, you guys wait here. I’ll go alone; it’ll be a lot faster this way."

[percontaion-points]

Let’s Play “Moments: Siren Song” Part 8

At school on Monday, the only thing anybody can talk about is the quadruple murders. Everybody is anxious about the idea of a murderer being on the loose, and they're canceling their plans and making sure not to be out after dark. They're also throwing around possible suspects. Cecilia has to fight back the urge to look in the direction of the area that they cleaned up... which I think was some VIP crap, because I don't remember this. She also envy's Bee's ability to keep a straight face during all of this. But she's confident that nobody knows, and that they did a good job cleaning up Lyle's mess.

In class, Brandon and Ryan are also talking about it. Brandon also brings up about how Jonah hasn't been seen in a while, and it could be the serial killer, too. DID NOBODY FUCKING FILE A POLICE REPORT ON HIM? WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS? WHY HAS THE SCHOOL DONE NOTHING ABOUT IT?! Cecilia doesn't want anybody speculating, and least of all about Jonah. She tells him that the killer's likely lying low, what with all of the media coverage and the entire town on edge.

And then Ryan says that this is clearly murder by monster. And like dude... we get it. You believe in monsters. But the actual monsters are serial killers. HUMAN ones. However, Brandon is having exactly none of Ryan's bullshit today, because people are dead. But Ryan insists that he is serious. Brandon then starts to go off about how insane that this MK stuff is, and Cecilia backs Brandon in the hope of pitting Brandon against his “friend”. Brandon counters everything Ryan says with a perfectly logical explanation. The killer dismembered the bodies, and then animals got to the pieces.

But Ryan is clinging to his insanity, and says that there's evidence. He says that there were no witnesses. YES, BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING MURDER, YOU MORON. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WITNESSES THAT THERE ARE TO REGULAR MURDERS?! He also argues that there's no way that a human could kill four people all at once... which goes back to my first point that... you take out your witnesses. And nobody said that they were killed in the exact same moment... JFC.

He starts to go on about how good and nice of a person that Marta was. But Cecilia's like... uh-huh. Right. You say she died a hero, I think that she died going for an evening walk... But the girls express their sympathy over what happened. Ryan then talks like Cecilia and Bee still give a flying shit about MK, about how they should be training and investigating this. Brandon points out that the police are already investigating, and he couldn't sound more bored. Cecilia doesn't want anything to do with this, but she decides that she should just to figure out what MK's really up to. Plus, it would be funny and ironic to help Ryan look for... well, herself and her friends. So she agrees to help. Which confuses Bee something fierce. However, Ryan seems to think that Cecilia speaks for Bee and Brandon as well, which irritates them.

He then brings up searching at the school, and about how they can't go into the German classroom. Which freaks Cecilia out... despite the fact that the police were already there when the four of them showed up, so... they clearly know something's going on with the school. But she doesn't say anything to Ryan about this. After all, she thinks opening her mouth might tip him off. Ryan said that it was kind of suspicious that the German teacher's books were on the desk, and the teacher always takes them home for the weekend. Wow, totally proof of a crime u gais!! But then he says that the police took all of the evidence, and wishes that he could look at it.

Bee then pulls the ultimate get out of “socializing” card: my mom would worry if I didn't get home. She told me to go home right after school. Hahaha. Ryan respects that, and doesn't want for Bee's mom to be angry. Cecilia is full of envy, and wishes that she could lie like that.

After school, the boys and Cecilia go to the crime scene at the park. Cecilia continues to be amazed that literally nobody is around to stop people from going into the area. Although at this point, all major evidence would have been collected anyway, so I don't really see a whole lot of point. Brandon doesn't want to go into the area, and is freaked out by the sight of the (stale) blood on the grass.

Ryan says to look for clues as to what might have done this, which fills Cecilia with confidence that she'll be able to spot any clues that they overlooked before Ryan does. Ryan pulls out a magnifying glass and starts to examine the ground, but Cecilia “accidentally” steps where he's about to look. He continues looking for a while, but eventually seems to give up, which pleases Cecilia. She tells him that just because he couldn't find anything doesn't mean that he failed Marta. Brandon insists that they should leave this to the actual police, and let's just get out of here before they come back. But Ryan insists that there must be something, and he wants to keep looking. But Cecilia is quick to point out that it sounds like he doesn't know what he's looking for anyway.

He then starts to uh... meditate, I guess? He says that it helps him find the “presence that doesn't belong”. Cecilia's like... yeah right. But he insists that he feels something. Cecilia's like “I'm just going to go now...” Ryan goes to a tree, starts laughing like a maniac, and pulls out some hairs that the group of four must have missed the other day. Ryan seems confident that it's werewolf fur. However, Brandon's like “looks like dog fur to me.” But Ryan's like “you still don't believe me?” Uh... dude. No. You literally just plucked some random pieces of fur from a rock in a public park. Wow! Proof of monsters!! /ALL THE SARCASM

Ryan asks Cecilia what she thinks, which freaks her out, because she wonders if he felt her presence when he was meditating, and that he's just toying with her, too. She pretends to do the meditating thing, and tells him that it's probably a werecat. Ryan asks how she came to that conclusion, and she says that she had the urge to cough up a furball. Ryan takes this very seriously, and says that he'll include it in his report. He then puts it into a lockbox in his backpack, and says that he'll take it back home, so that he can properly identify it. Brandon sighs over the fact that they'll be dragged into this next part, too. So they leave the park.