#while I love doing things for people I love this was a good reminder why i don't work freelance

[vinjinssunglasses]

Hi hi! I just read your Kim gitae relationship headcanons/summary and wow I loved it so much😩pretty please could I have the same thing for gun??🙏🏻

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♯┆character jonggun park x reader ♯┆summary __ in a relationship w you part 4 or wha ♯┆w/c 1.7k ♯┆cw mildly suggestive, body image ♯┆genre fluff + angst, no happiness for bro😭🙏 ♯┆a/n tysm for requesting!! cute theme but there’s nothing cute about this i love this divider why is it adorable 😭 2am, I didn’t edit properly 😭

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⚝・┆ Jonggun loves when you let him rest his head upon your chest, wrapping his arms around you as he basks in the love he never was able to receive while growing up. The warmth of your kisses resonates inside of him, as it allows him to finally lower the guards he was taught to always put up, resting in your arms like a baby. How selfish were this clan to punish a little black kitty like him? How he curls up in your arms and kisses you with a small, playful smile on his lips, you can’t imagine someone doing that to him. Those charcoal eyes that were taught to intimidate and glare with disinterest, showing a hint of sparkle that left you with hope. I’m sorry, Gun. You know it’s not your fault, yet a hint of guilt rests inside you.

⚝・┆ Very traditional. Your wedding will be one of luxury, expensive wine and the sort. He’ll make sure it’s the most grand day of your life, spending it with you with a smile plastered on his face. He showers you with kisses, despite the fact the venue seems to be quite empty. Gun has never had much friends and family, apart from Goo, yet you had the world. It didn’t take long for him to feel jealous that you had so many people to care about, while he lay in the middle of the night with tears and choked sobs, with no contacts on his phone to call. Except yours. You knew he felt this way, you could see it written on his face. Of course you could tell, you were his fiance, no, wife, after all. That’s why you were here to distract him from it all - you wanted to be the person he would call first when he needed it most. The person by his side to the end of his days he spent together with you in happiness.

Perhaps that’s why you said ‘yes’ to that ring, engraved with yours and his initials. Ms. Yamazaki. That name written on your legal documents made you smile. That man, made you smile, cry and laugh everyday.

⚝・┆ Gun reminds you so much of a little black kitty. Black cats are filigrane and intelligent, affectionate yet keep their keen personality, perceptive of their surroundings. They’re good-natured and calm, tolerant of others. Loving and they love to cuddle and play, and are introverted creatures. On the other hand, a black cat is often associated with bad luck, and death. Bad luck, and death. Maybe it was all inevitable. First, his cousin, his dad and his mother. Death runs in the family, so shall he loose you too? Will you also die at the hands of a selfish, idealistic man, too? No, it’s a thought he can’t bear to let occupy his mind anymore, yet there’s nowhere to blow the steam. After all, it’s better not to worry you and silence all these conflicting thoughts. Shoved to the back of his mind, they bubble to the front uninvited, swarming around his head like bees to honey. On a fun note, these cats spend more time in solace and being philosophical. Spending time in solace will stop the bad luck he emits from spreading, right? But then why cant he keep himself away from you. The bad luck he was born with will spread like the plague, just like it did to his family. Knowing this, he loves you too much to let you go. It’s another one of his selfish wishes, isn’t it?

⚝・┆ He wants to experience the world as you see it — stargazing, food, TV shows. Jonggun just wants to see the world with you after struggling with himself for so long. Being born left him with a cruel fate ahead, and he explored what his parents left him with such tears then left him almost apathetic. Life had no meaning left until, cheesy enough, he met you. Gun never fails to remind how much of an impact you’ve had on him, reminding you how much he values you. Just looking at his baby pictures leaves you with a feeling you can’t put into words. Is it guilt, anger or remorse? Why do you feel so guilty you couldn’t be there to shield him from this cruel world? It pains you how inevitable the world is.

⚝・┆ He loves caring for you, making sure you never had to lift a finger. Jonggun never had someone to properly care him mentally as a child, so if he could let you sit back and relax, and treat you how he wished he were treated, he would pour his heart into it all. He’d never want you to experience the loneliness and pure grief he once experienced, even if he’d never admit how much it meant to him.

⚝・┆ Personally I believe he’s a hands-on kind of guy, although he’d never admit it. Delicate kisses upon your lips, hands around you while he stares ever so lovingly into your eyes. His charcoal-like eyes that was made to scrutinise and intimidate, was now experience true love. Love that he’s never experienced like this before, that now he’s willing to comprehend such a new topic, giving it his all if it’s for you. His hands are always resting upon your body, lips always nearing yours as his eyes are practically unable to stop tracking them. When you speak, they watch every parting and shaping as you arrange words, just wanting to shut you up with a passionate kiss. Jonggun just wants to hold you in his arms, feeling your warm breath upon his neck as he tangles his fingers within your hair. Is that so selfish to ask?

⚝・┆To him it’s so strange how he’s so smitten with you. To others, he’d act so cold and secretive, only dispensing bitter stares and passive aggressive gestures with remarks that make anyone furious. When he looks at you, he’s unable to hold back a smile, eyes sparking with the warmth of his heartbeat increasing. Suddenly, he can tolerate the momentum of someone’s endless talking and continuous energy, constant need for attention and the warmth of their body against his own. Jonggun has always hated being touched, yet when it came to you, he can’t even keep himself away.

⚝・┆When he first caught feelings for you, he was the first to deny it. Got so many years he’s learnt to push back these emotions, making way only for the passion of fighting, and your first to not encourage him to do so. You’re the first to kiss him like you mean it, cradle him in your arms while you whisper sweet nothings. It wasn’t long until he caught feelings. And it wasn’t long until he couldn’t accept the truth. When he was around you, he noticed hos heart beating faster than usual, with a feeling he couldn’t just figure out. A smile always snuck upon his lips, however he wouldn’t notice until you’d say his smile is so cute and he should wear it more often, to which he’d blush and cover his face. In the rare occasion your hands would even brush against the others, he wouldn’t help but scowl and face the other way, imagining all types of possibilities. What if he held your hand, how would you react? What if he told you he’s loved you all this time? Loved the way you smile, talk, walk.. would you hate him after that? It’s such a new yet blissful feeling inside him, that he wants to blurt out, but something inside is stopping him - the fear of rejection. The overwhelming looming feeling of you ruthlessly rejecting him stabs him in the heart like a sharp knife.

⚝・┆Jonggun is the type to embrace your every curve, praising your body as if you were a goddess. Let it not be that he finds out you’re insecure about a certain part of your body — stretch marks, the way your hip dips, overweight or underweight, the list continues — because he’ll almost faint from the shock. He loves every part of you, and he wouldn’t change a damn thing about you. So seeing you so hooked on a particular part of your body, wishing you could change yourself, hes frustrated.

His hands run down your body, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

“I love you, each and every part of you. You’re beautiful. You’re my ideal woman, and I don’t care what anybody else thinks.” Gun whispers into your ear, playfully biting upon it. When his calloused fingers reaches back up to your hips, he pauses. “Please. Don’t tell yourself otherwise. Your beauty is one of Aphrodites.”

“But I hate the way it looks.” You murmur closing your eyes, unable to bear the sight the unforgiving mirror reflects upon you. That body of yours, you hated it. From head to toe, you wished you could be somebody else. Anybody else, and their body would look better than the one so selfishly put on you from birth. Being in this skin made you want to peel it all off, stitching scientifically made plastic onto your skin to be the Marilyn Monroe of your dreams.

Jonggun turns your chin to look at him, cupping your cheek in his hand. “I find you beautiful. I love the way your curves fit in my palm, the way your skin feels against mine, you hear me?”

He turns you around, leading you onto the mattress, positioning himself in between your thighs. Gun’s lands upon your breasts. Your body sinks into the sheets, eyes fixated on his movements. He looks down upon you with an almost sorrowful face, eyebrows curled into one of worry, lips pouting like a dog who can’t find its human. In all honesty, he’s upset. Why can’t you love yourself as much as he loves you? This body of yours is so delicate, that he loves exploring and splaying his hands all over. It’s like a statue made to admire and inspire. Your body is a temple, from head to toe we were all made as perfect. It tears him apart

“There’s so need to be insecure, I love your shoulders..,” they move further down to your hips. “I love the way I can hold onto these when I make love with you. I move the way my hands wrap around you. It’s as if your body was made to fit into my palms.”

“Please,” he begs, placing kisses upon your cheeks, all leading to your lips, eager for his touch. “I want you to.. love yourself, as much I love you. You have no, no fucking clue how much I value you. That pretty face of yours..” He murmurs, a chocked sob escaping him. Jonggun’s better than this, to cry over such a rivial matter. Yet the impact burned through him, reaching his darkest crevices. He needs you, and he doesn’t want to admit it. How come, after always being so apathetic, has he came so sympathetic to another human being, even weeping pathetically for them? For crying out loud, please. Let yourself be you, you’re not the girls on the television, you’re so much better than them.

[acommonanomaly]

I’ve seen a lot of criticisms of how the Crows are portrayed in The Veilguard, the biggest one being that they are “sanitized,” and while I can sort of see why people think this, I personally don’t see it. 

I was thrilled with the Crows in the Veilguard. My Crow Rook playthrough was so satisfying, and I came to love the Crows even more than I did before. 

Maybe that’s because I don’t feel the need to be constantly reminded that they are assassins who kill people for money. Or maybe it’s that I love them because they are assassins who kill people for money. I thoroughly enjoy morally gray characters, those who struggle against or give in entirely to the darker sides of their natures. I enjoy them because they are a warning of what any of us could become under the right (or wrong) circumstances.

And that’s why it’s so vital to me that they are not dehumanized. 

Of course some of these people who have gathered together as a group are going to form found families. I LIVE for that shit. Them being assassins doesn’t mean they're incapable of seeking friendship, family, and love. They’re people. Of course they’re going to fight for the freedom of their city and their people when Treviso is occupied. That doesn’t mean they aren’t assassins anymore and it doesn’t mean they’re knights in shining armor. It means they’re people fighting for what they love.

Zevran told us about the horrible recruiting methods of house Arainai and their torture of children. But it’s also heavily implied that he really cleaned house and stirred up change. I like to think that his campaign against his house made waves, that it changed some things. Not to mention, I find it very likely that each house has its own methods, its own way of doing things. 

And really, there’s no reason to believe that there isn’t dark shit still going on behind some closed doors just because the Crows don’t open those doors to Rook, especially a non-Crow Rook. The Crows not showing dark shit to this ally who is helping them doesn’t mean they don’t have dark shit going on. The Crows absolutely have their infighting and betrayals, look what happened with Illario!

(As a side note: I would have loved for Caterina to have been called out for her abuse of Illario and Lucanis, but Lucanis has been through a crap-ton of trauma and probably feels like Caterina is all he has left, especially after Illario’s betrayal. It makes sense that he’s not ready to face that just yet.)

What I find really fascinating is how a lot of the Crows seem to see themselves. The Crows grow up in a place where being an assassin has become completely normalized. Antiva has no standing army and relies on the reputation of the Crows to deter other nations from engaging in open conflict with them. Many of the Crows seem proud to be Crows.

And they have their own code they live by, even if we in the real world wouldn’t find it a particularly moral one. 

It’s illustrated most clearly in regards to Jacobus:

.

.

.

Imagine the chaos that would ensue if Crows were allowed to just kill willy nilly? How would they look then? They do not want to be seen as mindless killers. They don’t want their new recruits to fall into the habit of killing without a contract, as this would make them something other than what they would like to see themselves as. 

This makes sense and I like seeing it examined.

I love the Crows being explored more deeply and given more depth. I love seeing them as people as well as assassins. I would love to see even more of it, to see how these people who go out and kill for money behave once they’re not on the job. 

This is good stuff and I’m all for it. 

[cheshiresense]

Hi, I love your time travel with Stark!!! He's one of my favorite characters, so I love reading your ideas about him and Ichigo. I was just wondering, how do Hallows react to Stark? As a former Hallow who healed himself, would they treat him like a normal soul, or would they know he used to be one of them? I'm just curious if you had ideas about that. Anyway, thanks for sharing your story idea, I love reading them!!!

Thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

I think generally speaking, they wouldn't know. I think that people can sense that it's a Hollow in the vicinity (as opposed to a Shinigami) because their reiatsu is hollow, it's not whole, it's missing pieces, fragmented in a way that a Shinigami's reiatsu wouldn't be. Like yes Starrk is technically still part Hollow, that's what he became, that's what he built himself back up from, and he can't just discard that part of himself, it's what makes up part of his soul, like scars you gain throughout your life. And his reiatsu is just naturally corrosive, it's an aspect of his power, so he can't get rid of that. But he's also a whole soul now, and at this point, there's actually not much of a difference in his reiatsu between his Shinigami and Hollow sides, he's perfectly merged. So there's that, and also ever since he learned how, his control's been second to none, so outside of a battle that necessitates major use of his reiatsu, he mostly keeps it under wraps since it can still hurt people and he's got a Thing:tm: about that. He probably keeps it at the level of an unseated officer, so enough for people to sense him coming but not really pick up anything else about it.

(Which reminds me, I actually also kind of headcanon that you can sort of tell how old someone is if you get a good enough feel for their reiatsu. Like obv not exact date of birth and age lmao, I just mean the older and more powerful someone is, the denser and heavier their reiatsu becomes, so if you're halfway decent at sensing reiatsu, you can sort of distinguish between someone who has just a handful of decades or a century or two under their belt, and someone who's comfortably into their hundreds, and someone whose reiatsu is just solid in a way that speaks of them having Seen Some Things, because you can't always tell via physical appearance but the soul remembers the years gone by. Ichigo is ofc an exception because he's part human, so like he prob reads around 60-100 years old to Kaien and co., esp when you put him next to Rangiku and Asuka, they sort of all read like the same age.

And all of that is just to say I absolutely want to write a thing for when Starrk finally lets his reiatsu out properly while Shunsui and Ukitake are right there and people will just be like why the fuck does this guy feel the same as the two thousand-year-old captains 😂😂😂)

[llamaisllama777]

I Wanna talk about today's LAES episode!

Okay, I loved this episode and am pleasantly surprised by how mature most of them handled this, especially Lunar and Moon. Lunar knows he messed up, and he really has no excuse for what he did. He made a dumb mistake with MAJOR repercussions. He takes his punishment like a man and accepts it won't be easy to earn everyone's forgiveness, and it's up to Earth if she wants to forgive Lunar or not and that's fair.

Monty and Moon are rightly mad at Lunar, and while I think Monty shouldn't threaten to punch Lunar, it's entirely fair. That's just who Monty is. He's an angry guy and doesn't like it when people hurt people he cares about, so while he shouldn't have threatened Lunar, it is to be expected. Monty loves Earth. She's one of the best things that ever happened to him, and he adores her and hates seeing her get hurt and betrayed... again. While yes, it was an accident, it was a very poorly and badly timed accident.

We don't know if Earth is gonna be okay.

-Best case scenarios

They get all the negative star power out of her and she's back to her old self again

Or she's fine, but she just feels numb like Monty's arm did for like five months.

-WORST case scenario

She dies.

Monty has all the right in the world to be mad. Everyone here does. Lunar could have killed Earth! Or hurt Moon, or Jack, or Dazzle. They have all right to be mad!

I'm glad all of them still care for Lunar and still see him as a brother and don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'm proud of Moon despite the fact that he was very hurt by Lunar's words he still loves him. If this had been how OLD old Moon he would have torn Lunar to shreds verbally... and then maybe physically.

I'm proud he's grown from his angry past.

Sun and Solar seem the most sad to kick Lunar out, but they understand his actions NEED to have consequences.

I've seen some people say that it's not fair for them to kick out Lunar and say he's dangerous...

Guys... HE IS. Lunar is basically a walking BOMB!

Yes, Monty has access to dangerous weapons, and so does Solar and Moon... but they keep those away from Earth in places she won't find them or get hurt by them.

Sun has magic.... he can control it.

(when he's not having a nightmare)

While everyone in that room is dangerous, they're all careful. Lunar wasn't.

So, now he has to face the consequences. It's sad to see Lunar be separated from his family and still have no idea who he is or what he's supposed to be... but who knows, maybe this is what Lunar needs. Plus, if Lunar doesn't want to stay in THIS universe, I can think of one universe that could be a big help to him...

*Cough! Eclipse and Puppet's! Cough!*

This could be the first step in the right direction.

I get why people are upset at the Celestial family and Monty for kicking out Lunar... BUT I can't argue that they didn't do anything wrong. I think the Celestial did the right thing.

Actions have consequences both GOOD and BAD.

Also... does anyone else think Lunar's apartment reminds them of Peter Parker's from the Tobey Maguire Spider-man movies and Spider-man No way home. It just gives me that vibe.

Also... I feel SO BAD for Earth!

The girl has been betrayed by

-Her father

-Her brother (Nexus)

-Monty for not telling Earth about his crimes (They worked that out)

-And now Lunar!

Girl probably gonna have trust issues after this.

[rei-ismyname]

EXCEPTIONAL X-MEN #3 FTA

After a pretty disappointing week of X-Men comics it's a delight to read and analyse Eve Ewing's Exceptional X-Men. The repeated issues I have with the other titles are just not present here and after three consistent bangers Ewing and co have my trust.

Emma is right

We pick up exactly where issue #2 left off, and this opening scene of all the main characters makes me realise how tightly the execution is. We know where each of them is at and (at least broadly what they want) - we're getting to know the kids organically. Where the other two books feel like action figures isolated from each other for no good reason, Kate Pryde's need to get away from the X-Men was established before the title even began. She just wants a normal life, to date girls and process her trauma. Emma Frost showing up to answer the call she refused throws her off immediately and they briefly scrap. The kids aren't just saying nothing because they didn't get a script today (hi Jubilee) - they're frozen by Emma. It's a small thing, but it's purposeful and flows elegantly.

Priti, Kate's housemate/friend from school, breaks up the fight for the most relatable reason - she doesn't want to lose the security deposit. Perhaps a sign that Kate doesn't fit into the 'norma'l world as much as she wants...or Emma just really knows how to push her buttons. I think Emma is hurting too, though she hides it under her usual scene-stealing exterior. I can't wait for more of their dynamic. Yeah, they'll almost certainly figure out a working relationship but their pain isn't being dismissed either. I feel like the pair are a successful version of what Gail Simone is doing with Rogue.

They stop fighting and have a little tea party, then Axo asks the question I'd been dreading the answer to - 'do you trust Emma or not?' Kate grew up being terrified of Emma with good reason and never let her forget why she did not trust her. Emma spent decades earning that trust and proving herself a hero, leader and teacher - but the First Krakoan Age had them grow closer than ever before. They worked well together and became friends, they were a force for good on Krakoa (mostly.) It's a shame that this is a metric, but two thumbs up for not rolling any of that back. These feel like the members of the resistance who were there for each other in Fall of X. Kate herself is regressing a little, but it's believable as a trauma response.

Kate doesn't want to train young mutants and Emma does. Prito even has a space they can use and the kids are keen! Everyone is happy then, right? Well, I think that's going to be the core tension for a while. Everyone except Kate wants this, but I think Kate needs this.

This 'getting to know you' circle does a lot of work in centering the young mutants, reminding us they're here to stay while showing us who they are and the beginning of their social dynamic. I haven't been a teen for a long time but their voices sound authentic, even to the point of highlighting that Bronze/Trista is a bit younger than the other two.

Agreed, do not read the comments.

They want to be doing this! One of the most challenging parts of being a teen is navigating peer groups. Solidarity in experiencing the same kind of otherness plus scary body changes is healthy, and it's lovely to chalk up a W despite the fact that 'people hate us.'

This issue also asks the question Rogue did in Uncanny #1, but as organic dialectic. It introduces the tension between self defense and being a superhero when you have powers - the difference between Emma and Kate externalised. Kate is excited despite herself until Emma shows up with costumes, and I think she's right to push back or at least be wary. But is this about her or the kids? It's not the most admirable contradiction but it's very human. They're both right that the old ways were flawed and they need to try something new.

Is she talking about Colossus? MF is not that gentle. Their costumes look amazing.

Unsurprisingly, Emma and Kate are a great team. There's tension underneath there, but they wouldn't be doing this if their friendship didn't run deep. New kids in relaunches past have often had their powers explained by Cerebro or a nosy telepath. Learning about it from their mouths as they're starting to use them in a controlled environment achieves the wiki entry, shows them learning to use them, and importantly gives us more of their personality.

Emma conjures up some Brood-like baddies and everyone freaks out but some growth is evident. It's Axo that figures out they're not real. Kate is not impressed. I doubt they'll throw down, but her sending the kids away feels like an extreme reaction. Good, she's got shit to say and hurts that need to be spoken. The kids don't leave, but we're left with all this tension in the air to be resolved next issue.

I LOVE that the three kids cuddle/huddle in the background.

Who better to break the ice (sorry) than Bobby Drake? Having him just fly in the window and cooling down the tension (sorry again) could feel random and silly but it works. These two have a lot of history and it makes sense that he'd seek her out. Kate has been turning her back on anyone X-related - will she freeze Bobby out too? The kids are awed by him and it's half the Marauders back together, so I don't think he'll get the cold shoulder.

I feel very confident in calling Exceptional X-Men the best X-Men book in From The Ashes. It's got an honesty and sincerity to it while remixing the hits of first arcs and adding plenty of new. The art style is colourful and emotive which adds so much to a book taking people's feelings seriously. If you pick up nothing else, this is the one.

[baphometsss]

i think the reason i'm not upset about mythal seeming to be the one to give solas the push he needed to do the right thing is bc 1. i don't think she actually was and 2. i think that while what she said was necessary for him to hear, it wasn't the only thing he needed to hear.

mythal could never have done what the high approval inquisitor does for solas in that moment. mythal was the one who twisted him from his purpose and turned him into pride to begin with, while the inquisition/high approval inquisitor was who reminded him of who he truly was.

it's why i think his bonds with the inquisition are so meaningful to him. i think that, while he definitely loved felassan too, he was able to neutralise him at the end of the masked empire because ultimately, felassan was a part of his story as pride. i talked about his trauma bond with mythal before, but i think he also had a trauma bond with felassan too. soldiers often form extremely complex and intense trauma bonds with their fellow service people when they experience the political terror of war, and there's a lot of things about the dynamic that we see in solas's memories of felassan that remind me of that. felassan was such a good person and friend, but solas was already too far gone into pride for him to stop him. likewise, the fragment of mythal that solas thought he destroyed at the end of dai wasn't even enough to stop him.

i'm not under any illusions that the high approval or even romanced inquisitor would've been enough either. none of them alone were enough. to say that mythal's intervention at the end of datv was enough is to vastly underestimate how far gone into hubris and pride solas truly was, and underestimates the contributions of the inquisition and rook.

ultimately, the thing that gives him the 'final' push is the high approval inquisitor's guidance--once again, they fall into the role of herald, this time as the herald of a better future, a future where he can be redeemed, as andraste redeems.

[bgomtori]

☆ autumn - c.sb

synopsis -> the transition of summer to make him fall.

-> soobin x reader

-> childhood friends to lovers, fake dating, mutual pinning, sunshine and sunshine protector relationship, slowburn.

-> warnings! yn's slightly dense, super long

-> notes! heavily inspired by the webtoon our secret alliance, please read it 😢 it's so cute and jaeha reminds me of soobin a lot.

"an alliance?" soobin peeked over his phone, looking at you like you grew two heads. you nodded your head, falling onto the bed, right below soobin's feet.

"think about it, if we lie to our parents that we are dating, they wouldn't suspect a thing when we go out! they'll think that we'll be going on a date or something, but we're actually sneaking out to do our own things." you explained as if you were a genius solving a difficult maths question. soobin placed his phone down to look at you, his head hovering over yours.

"this better work, if not i'm telling your parents about the vase you broke the other day." you gasped at his audacity to even bring that up, you stuck out your pinky finger, "i promise that this is a good idea." soobin eyed you suspiciously before locking his pinky with yours.

"i trust you." you beamed at his words, for the first time in a while soobin finally agreed to one of your plans, and did not call you stupid for it.

from then on, the both of you have been heading out for your so called "study dates" to prove to your parents that even though you're "dating", your studies are still your top priority. however, as soon as you step out of your house, ensuring that the door is sealed shut, you and soobin part ways almost instantly, sending him a reminder on the agreed timing to meet up and head home for dinner.

it also helped that practically everyone, even the teachers, thought that both of you were dating, the way soobin would walk to class with you or the way you would cheerfully run up to him, telling him everything that has happened to you throughout the day.

to you, this alliance was fun, you enjoyed spending time with soobin, now that mid terms were around the corner, the two of you have been studying together more than usual, unlike the past where he would go gaming with his friends and you would go out on dates with people you met online. you loved your time with soobin, more than you expected.

on the other hand, soobin didn't like the mushy feeling he'd always feel when you come around, he hated the way his heart would race when you wrap your arm around his.

"i think i'm sick." soobin mumbled, his face slightly flushed, his heart banging against his ribcage as he recalled the way you waved your mock test at him with a bright smile, telling him that you've finally passed the subject you've been constantly failing, later rambling about how this year is going to be your year.

"more like lovesick.." beomgyu gagged, rolling his eyes, "why did you even agree to the alliance." he added, taking a sip from his milk carton. soobin shrugged, turning his head to the side, watching you smiling with your friends as you take bites from your lunch.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

a few weeks has passed, soobin had finally realised his growing feelings for you, after multiple scoldings from beomgyu, he finally got it through his thick skull that he does indeed like you.

"i'm home! come on, let's go to my room, i really need help with my math homework." you took soobin's wrist, about to pull him into your room until your mum stopped you two.

"welcome back, wait here for a while, i have some treats for you." your mum smiled, scurrying off to the kitchen to grab some pasteries she bought from the newly opened bakery from down the street. soobin shyly thanked your mum, taking a bite out of the brownie placed infront of him, while you basically devour the cookies.

"you know.. recently my friend's daughter lied about her report card, saying that she was scared that she wouldn't see her as a golden child anymore," your mum sighed, looking down at her hands, you looked at her, taking another bite of your cookie, "you two aren't hiding any secrets from me, are you?"

you swallowed the cookie, the feeling of guilt crashes onto you, taking frantic glances at soobin who looked calm and collected, unlike you who was panicking. "no." you uttered out softly, taking a sip of cola. your mum smiled at you, leaving you and soobin alone for now.

"we're screwed aren't we?" soobin snickered, biting on the soft, chewy brownie on the plate.

"we are, i feel extremely bad. should we stop?" you asked him, using your straw to stir the contents of your drink aimlessly.

"if you want to, i'm fine with it." he replied non-chalantly. your hand came to a halt, staring at the twirling ice cubes in your drink.

"or should we start dating for real?" soobin was now stunned, turning to face you, eyes widened, his ears coloured in a red hue.

"what'd you say?"

"i mean it's better this way isn't it? we don't have to lie to our parents anymore!" you exclaimed, completely unaware of the fidgety boy beside you, biting the inside of his cheek.

"that's the reason?" his tone sounded angry and serious, something you weren't used to, you looked at soobin who had his head down, "huh wait, i didn't mean to make you angry soob.."

"please don't make jokes like that." soobin stood up, swinging his bag over one of his shoulders, about to make a move, your first instinct was to grab his wrist, preventing him from leaving you alone.

"wait thats not what i was trying to do, i thought it wouldnt be that much of a differece with us being friends." you explained yourself, speak of the devil your mum decided to walk in, your eyes flickered from your mum to soobin, he mumbled something inaudible for you to hear, "what did you say?"

soobin let out a sigh, bending down to your ear, "i said i'll think about it over the weekend, you should do the same.. about us dating." he whispered, you could feel his lips brushing against your skin, you face slowly heating up at the realisation of how close you were. your eyes followed his every action, from thanking your mum, to leaving the house through the main door. you brain was about to malfunction, causing you to bang your head against the table, clearly flustered from everything that has just occurred.

"jeez what's your problem." your mum jumped at the sudden thud, pushing you a plate of home-cooked food for you to enjoy.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

a few days has passed, despite talking to soobin like you always do, you can't help but feel like there's an invisible barrier between the both of you. he seemed out of it, replying you with single word replies, or even just humming a response. you were used to it, but you can't help but think that he was uncomfortable around your presence.

you sat at your desk, resting your head on the table, surrounded by two of your close friends, tuning out their voices while they ramble about something that didn't concern you.

"honestly, if it seems natural for you to hold hands with a guy friend, or even imagining yourself kissing him, you definitely have slight feelings for him." that statement piqued your interest, lifting your head, only to make eye contact with choi soobin, sending your mind into a spiral. you do interlock arms with him, but does that even count as holding hands? your eyes dart down to his lips, your face warmed up at the thought of his lips touching yours, making your groan in frustration.

"what's up with you." your friend questioned, concerned for your sudden outburst. you shook your head, looking back down at your phone.

soob : meet me after school, in the storage room.

yn : what for?

soob : just come find me.

you couldn't ignore the warmth pooling in your chest when you read that message, for the first time in your life, you were afraid to meet soobin.

the school day went by too fast for your liking, you packed up your things, you made your way to the storage room, only to be stopped by a friend of yours from another class.

"yn! are you going home right now? let's go to the convenience store nearby, i missed you." she exclaimed, hope shimmering in her eyes as she waited for your response. you smiled at her apologetically, about to tell her that you weren't available,

"she's not free right now julie, let's go." a familiar voice replied in your stead, his warm hands wrapped around your wrist, dragging you towards the place you were supposed to meet in. julie looked back at the both of you in confusion, "they're weird." she whispered to herself.

soobin closed the door behind him, locking it in the process. you felt uncomfortable, the atmosphere created was awkward and tense, soobin looked down at you, waiting for you to at least say something.

"uhm, did you think about it? about us dating." you asked, your eyes glued to the ground below you.

"yea." you stared at him with wide eyes, you didn't expect him to actually agree with you that fast.

"you didn't think about it right?" you pursed your lips, unable to make eye contact with the much taller male standing infront of you, soobin sighed, "i can't go out with you."

your heart dropped upon hearing those words, "wait no, i just need more time to think about it." you were rambling, your grip around his arm loosening, realising that you couldn't stop anything.

"sorry yn." he apologised, leaving you in the empty storage room, alone with your thoughts. you groaned in frustration, swinging the door open, accidentally scaring people that were walking past, you just wanted to go home, lay in your bed, and drown yourself in homework, distract yourself from dwelling over soobin. you stood at the entrance, realising that it had started to rain, you rummaged through your bag, in search for an umbrella.

"did i forget.." you whispered to yourself, placing your bag onto the ground to thoroughly check your bag, slowly you gave up, zipping up your bag. you leaned against a pillar, watching the rain hit the ground below. you stared up into the dark, gloomy sky, remembering what had just went down earlier. honestly, you weren't serious when you asked soobin that question, you didn't expect him to say yes right away too. however, you were upset that he rejected you so firmly. you knew that soobin was never that firm with you, the soobin you knew was kinder than that. so maybe, he's under the pouring rain right now and worrying about you, maybe he'll come pick you up, because he has always helped you in situations like these.

"yn!" a voice you knew all too well called out to you, you looked up to see a panting soobin, an umbrella over his head, sheltering himself from the heavy rain.

"how many times must i tell you to pack an umbrella." he reprimanded you, eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at you, a concerned look spread across his face.

"you really came." you smiled to yourself, "it's cause it's raining." soobin replied, pulling you to walk in the rain with me.

"you should call your mum, your place is far from here, and it's raining really hard." he suggested, you nodded your head, grabbing your phone from your pocket, dialling your mum's phone number. soobin remained quiet then entire walk back to his place, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, preventing you from getting wet, matching the pace your walked at. maybe he does treat you differently.

"i'm a soobin's place right now, i'll wait for the rain to slow down before i go back home." you informed your mum.

"that's fine! just tell me when you reach home." your mum answered, "yea what did you say?" your mum's voice added, oh your mum forgot to hang up.

"aren't you worried that she's alone with a guy now?" her colleague asked, sounding worried for your safety. you continued to listen in on their conversation, curious on what your mum has to say about your relationship with soobin.

"those two aren't like that! i just tease them sometimes, but i know better than anyone that they're matured kids and wouldn't fool around." your mum defended you, your eyes flickered to soobin who was unlocking the door to his house, right, it was just the two of you in the house now. you quickly ended the call, removing your shoes.

"you can go into my room, i'll get you something to snack on." you muttered a soft okay, taking swift steps into his room, you sat on the cold wooden floor, grabbing your folder from your bag, starting on your revision for an upcoming quiz.

"soobin, i need help with this." you tapped your pen against the question you were stuck on, he closed the door, setting the plate of jellies down on the table, sitting next to you, reading the question. it was quiet, too quiet, you could hear your own breathing, it felt weird, your mind went back to the conversation your mum had with her colleague.

"soobin, wanna know what my mum said earlier?" you flashed a mischievious grin at him, soobin placed his pencil down, "what did she say?"

"she said even if you and i are alone, nothing will happen!" you laughed, "she thinks we're dating. i wonder how could she say that.. that's how much of a gentleman my mum thinks you are! haha. by the way can i borrow some of your clothes?" you joked further. soobin looked at you unamused, agreeing to your last question, going into his closet to grab some of his clothes.

"what's with that face? i only said that for the laughs. what she said wasn't wrong." you pouted, taking his clothes from him, "you said that you had no intention of dating me anyways."

"you didn't even think about dating me." soobin responded, poking your cheek with his finger.

"i'm done with the question, you should try analysing the question first before jumping into it." you hated this, he still helps you with school, and is always so concerned about you, yet why did he reject you? soobin patted your shoulder, asking you to complete the paper.

"why.. don't you wanna go out with me?" your sudden question left soobin stunned.

"that's random.."

"you're fine with everything but you're not fine with that?.." you suddenly remembered the statement your friend had said earlier in the day, "it's not as if i asked if you could kiss me."

"what?" soobin's cheeks flushed, his thoughts going wild, "see you're playing a prank on me again." you grabbed onto his arm, feeling his stiffen under your grip.

"why aren't you answering me?" you were desperate for an answer, you needed an answer, to understand why he does all he does for you, but still decide to close your out and reject you.

"don't tell me you could see yourself kissing me." you looked at soobin in his eyes, he frowned, a nervous bead of sweat trickling down his face, you were too close to him, he felt like he was going to explode.

"why are you doing this to me?"

"you can't?"

"that's enough now." he turned away, only to feel your lips against his cheek.

"i guess, i can haha.." you joked, covering your mouth, averting your eyes from him, "i guess i'm ok with kissing you." soobin was at a daze, his eyes looking at your lips now, lips slightly apart, whatever you said earlier was completely ignored by him.

"oh, just now that was..??" he lundged forward, capturing your lips, your eyes widened at the sudden contact, unable to process what was going on. soobin pulled away slowly, his eyes meeting yours, both of you were flustered, red colouring the tip of soobin's ears.

"sorry.." he apologised.

"i.. i should go now." you mumbled, immediately packing your things, scrambling out of his room, you texted your mum, telling her that you were going home, you took one last look at soobin.

he's totally red. you thought to yourself, covering your own lips, you couldn't believe that it happened in a span of an hour. you ran home under the rain, you didn't care if you were drenched or not, you wanted to escape from his place as soon as possible. that night, you tossed and turned in bed, unable to get any rest.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"are you ok?" chaewon asked, of course you weren't, soobin was infront of you, you couldn't let him see you. you swung your bag infront of you, placing the notebook chaewon passed you in it.

"thanks, you returned it sooner than i expected." you smiled, carrying your bag around your shoulder again.

" i got someone to explain it to me instead, cause i didn't understand most of them." she explained, at this point, you were about to walk beside soobin and his friends.

"woah! really? i guess it's a friend who is really good at maths. come on let's go in." you pushed chaewon, practically making her walk faster.

"you're avoiding him aren't you?" chaewon turned back to look at you. you nodded your head, "i'll tell you in class, just go." you begged, she shrugged her shoulders, excited for the long story you were going to rant about as soon as you were not in the vicinity of choi soobin.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

"here are the worksheets you asked for mrs lee." you went to find her in the staff room after classes

"thank you for bringing it here, here eat these." she smiled, taking two packets of biscuits for you. much to your dismay, you heard the door behind you slide open, "oh soobin! come here i'll give you some biscuits too." mrs lee dug through her desk in search for extra biscuits.

"i ran out, yn, share one of these with soobin." your teacher sighed, your voice was soft, almost inaudible, "yes.." your hand reached out to soobin's placing the pack of biscuits in his hand, your fingers grazing against his.

"aren't you two close? i thought you were but you look so awkward with each other right now!" a teacher from behind exclaimed, her statement made you flinch.

"of course they're close, yn nearly fell off the ladder while cleaning the window, do you know how much soobin lectured mr because of that? ever since then i've never asked students to wipe windows that are up high. i thought soobin had feelings for yn." mrs lee giggled, recalling the incident where you almost lost your footing on the steps, trying to remove the speck of dirt on the window.

"oh my goodness, if you say that the kids are gonna feel more awkward." the teacher joked. you turned to your side, noticing the way soobin's ear was coloured in a soft hue of red. if he's slightly embarrased, then you aren't the only one that's feeling self conscious, right?

"i'm just teasing them because they're such good kids! yn and soobin are so proper and well-behaved. they've never caused any trouble too." proper. well-behaved. your head turned to soobin, making eye contact with him.

"i should go clean up before it's too late." soobin made up an excuse, trying to get himself out of the tense atmosphere, as you were about to follow behind soobin, you teacher asked, "i'm asking this out of curiousity, so.. are you two actually dating?"

"huh? it's nothing like that." your words were blunt, immediately turning on your heel to chase after soobin, knowing exactly where he would go to in situations like these. you knocked against the storage room door.

"you're in there right?" your voice was soft and sweet, soobin felt like he would melt right now, the apples of his cheek turning red, "why are you avoiding me too?"

"you were the one who kissed me." you whispered, loud enough for his to hear, soobin rubbed his lips with the back of his hand, unable to shake off the feeling of your lips against his, the taste of your cherry lip balm on the tip of his tongue.

"you know, i'm fine with it right?" that was when the door flung open, revealing soobin looking distraught.

"don't talk about that here." his tone was sheepish, the grip around your wrist tightened, watching you smile at him.

"haha! you were pretending to be fine, but you're actually flustered." you teased, soobin frowned at you, knowing what you'd say next, "i know i kissed you first, but you were the one who kissed me on the mouth–"

"not here." he whispered, his hand cupped around your mouth, preventing you from saying anything more. you removed his hand, looking at him sincerely.

"no one is here to clean yet, you know we have to talk." you uttered, your eyes never leaving his, hope glimmering in your eyes, wanting to have a conversation with him about last night.

"ok, but first, come here." before you knew it, you were dragged into the storage room with soobin again, his hand holding onto yours so carefully like you were glass, while his free hand was placed on your waist, preventing you from failing over. you regained your balance, eyeing down the now unfazed soobin. wasn't he flustered just seconds ago?

you sat on top of a barrel that was somehow in the storage room, pulling soobin along with you, he bent down slightly to ensure that he was eye to eye with you, his hands pinned beside your thighs. his eyes burned into yours, his body language asking you to tell him something.

"in the past, i liked that i felt comfortable around you." you gulped, "but now i'm becoming weird because of you." you brought a finger up to his forehead, poking it.

"i guess i forgot how i used to treat you because we've been pretending to date each other for a while, or maybe it's because you're so nice to me." oh, he was red again, he was wrapped around your finger, you knew his feelings for you, he was too obvious. your heart fluttered, you could smell the scent of his shampoo, and the scent of rain from the leaves that hasn't dried up yet, making you recall the kiss once more.

"this is your fault." you glared, the palm of your hand flushed against his chest.

"what do you mean?" he questioned, squinting his eyes at you. just say you like me you wanted to hear him say it, you wanted to hear him admit it.

"why'd you kiss me yesterday?" you inched your face closer to his, the strong, yet simple scent of his cologne filled your nostrils, his hot breath fanned against your lips, his black rimmed glasses sitting on the top of his nose making him more attractive than usual.

"i.. don't know." those were the words that came out of soobin's lips, as much as you anticipated it, he wasn't someone who would just admit his feelings, you felt disappointed. you two stared at each other in silence, you bit the inside of your cheek.

"soobin, i think we should stop lying to each other, i'll go on and tell you the truth, i lied about the reason why we should date each other. i know i said that if we dated for real, we wouldn't have to lie to my mum, but i realised that i can't control how i feel about someone." you paused, taking in the look soobin was giving you, you smiled to yourself, "i really don't know when i started to feel this way, but before i knew it, i had feelings for you."

your arms wrapped around soobin's neck, playing with the back of his hair, the tip of his ears turning red by the second, "i like you soobin."

"you like me too right? it's your turn to tell me the truth." again, your teasing grin slowly grew on your lips, soobin scowled at you, leaning closer to your lips, leaving a chaste kiss against them, "yeah, i like you too." your grin grew larger when you finally heard those words come out of his mouth

"when did you start having feelings for me." your hands pressed against his cheeks, soobin dropped into the crook of your neck, "i don't know, a long time now.."

you giggled at his response, patting his head, "that's nice to hear."

now that summer fades into autumn, the relationship between you and soobin blooming like the changing leaves, as he stares at you with overflowing love, he's reminded of the time when he fell for you. during autumn, where the season changes from summer to making him fall deeply for you, and history repeats itself, this time with sweet kisses and warm hugs.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added :D) @mrsyawnzzn @tinyelfperson @woncheecks @boba-beom @naveries @be-argyu @defnotleee @babymochibeargyu

[rablovergirl]

Hey! I love your content loving the moonwater stufffff. You should write something where regulus is jealous because Remus is hanging out with Sirius even though they haven’t been a thing in over a year so regulus has to remind Remus why he’s the black brother Remus is dating (aka regulus being a little jealous slut when it comes to Sirius and remus’s friendship)

ur onto something...

there are a fee ways this could go.

either Regulus sees them talking and laughing and smiling and gets jealous so he decides he's going to flirt with James and barty right in front of remus to make him jealous. It results in an argument (shocker ik) and regulus threatening to go fuck someone else.

"I have people falling over themselves to get a chance with me and you have the fucking nerve to want my brother? James and barty... they said they would let me have both of them at once. They want me so badly, all I have to say is 'fuck me' and they’ll be worshiping me in seconds. So remus it's your choice, you can have me, no one else will ever touch me again, I'll do whatever you want, please you so well or I could walk out the door straight to james or barty and you can go off and play happy fucking family with my brother."

"I don't want sirius, regulus. Let me show I want you. Let me remind you how well I fuck you yeah? Make sure you know that no one could ever fuck you as well as I do."

It ends with regulus being worshipped from head to toe (but also being spanked for flirting with other people), the whole thing is really just an excuse for regulus to feel wanted.

THE OTHER WAY IT COULD GO is regulus sneaks up into remus' room (lets pretend its not a dorm) and starts fingers himself on the bed waiting for remus to finish his conversation and come up stairs.

When he does, he has to admit it's a present surprise but..

"Not to say that I'm not thoroughly turned on right now but didn't we agree it's against the rules to touch yourself without my permission love?" remus is smirking down at him, loving the concentrated look on the other boy's face. He knows regulus isn't getting the right angles at all, his fingers aren't long enough.

"well you were too busy conversing with my brother so I needed to take things into my own hands." and he's SO STUBBORN.

"baby, we both know that you aren't making yourself feel good. Let me help."

"No. You're going to watch while I make myself come and remind you how good I am to you. Remind you why you chose me."

[ofseptarsis]

'You confuse me'

To admit that that feeling was feeling was a shared one would be to admit vulnerability, or so Tófi thinks.

They'd cultivated the image of someone who carefully calculated things, that could hardly be surprised by things after a generous amount of centuries of life, after having spent a good while of those inside a battlefield, so to admit that a grieving woman, Magick or not, could not only surprise them but also cause them to show the worst of themselves would be...

...it wouldn't be ideal -it would be real, but it wouldn't exactly be what they wanted to project, nor what Menodora probably wanted to see.

So they smile, instead, try to shrug it all off.

It was a shame, but it was just the way things worked and the faster the accepted that, the faster they could move on to better things -the wounds would heal, the clothes stained in red and black (glamour covered and non-glamour covered blood, respectively) would get discarded, the fire-damaged floor and furniture replaced.

Life would go on.

"Regeneration is...almost fair when the opponent has a magic arsenal, I think" they say as they step forward and move a hand to absentmindedly touch the wound on their shoulder, feeling a sharp, albeit dulled, pang of pain when their fingertips touch the sides of the incision "this is as close to fair we will ever get"

That was, after all, the only reason why the Mjaunian war had continued for as long as it had: there was a certain balance to their abilities that had caused a stalemate-

-at least until...

Ah. No. They'd rather not think of it right now.

"The other you was grieving" they continue, moving their red-stained hand to the other side of their clothes, wiping away the blood then oh-so-carefully brushing away some loose strands of hair that had fallen unto Moon's face "A grief that is not yours to know, about something that is not yours to mourn"

It had taken causing a scene to distract her from it, but at least Tófi had accomplished their mission of reminding Moon that she still had other feelings she could and should focus on.

Anger was, more often than not, a good option.

'I'll pay for the damages'

"Do not" it might seem a petty thing, but... "I can deal with it myself, there is no need for you to worry about it"

That is equal parts an honour thing and a practicality thing: to accept her (Mjaunie's tax payer's) money would feel wrong, specially when they had been the one that had brought the whole thing upon themselves -and to have her stick around during the process of having the place repaired would raise a couple of eyebrows.

It was a good thing that Manors in The Woods were rather separated from one another and that most people were out at that time of day, really, had they chosen to start this whole...thing at another time then they would have surely had the cops (or the firemen) called on them.

'I fear my burning has burnt a bridge between us. I fear your sharp tongue had severed some ties before that.'

"Understandable" they reply, even if there was something inside them that still wanted to point out that the whole thing had started because of her, of her emotional state and how much they found it not only unbecoming but unacceptable.

But that would be like beating a dead horse.

"I do not particularly regret my words" they concede "but I do feel somewhat sorry about you feeling this -that- way"

It's contradictory but natural at the same time: loathing and love can coexist; They hate that sad, vulnerable side of her while they cling to the potential, to the daring and strong Moon, to the curious Diamonds, to the dutiful Menodora.

That is the kind of thing that happens when one of your best friends also happens to be one of your long-time oppressors -things get messy, positive and negative feelings constantly fight one another and one can't really tell which one will win.

'Whether it was an illusion of propriety and friendship, or was genuine, I don't believe it can be salvaged. Or at least the same'

"It-"

Was real. Surprisingly so.

But before they can say as much Moon's already laughing-sobbing and they are taking yet another step forward, searching for a physical origin to that.

"I should have ibuprofen somewhere in the kitchen" they offer, resting a hand on her shoulder as they lower their gaze to her stained hands and the way the dark purple seems...even darker now.

That must hurt.

'Our friendship was nice while it lasted'

"You came looking for help, yet I attacked you. If someone should be apologizing here, it is me"

But they aren't.

"Try and not linger too much on it, for it will not do you any good. What is really important now is getting you some water and something to relief the pain"

'I'm sorry I had to burn it'

It's...funny, yet sad, how she's defaulted to taking responsibility for everything that may go wrong, regardless of if any of it was her fault or not.

So Tófi offers her a soft, evidently guilty smile in return -because they knew full well that they were to blame for some of it.

"I was the one who did it. Who has done it time and time again" they reassure her "and I will do it again, as many times as necessary"

They'd willingly become her enemy time and time again if that meant making her a little stronger, a little more resilient.

@menodoramoon

genfødte sandheder || Tófi & Moon

[crescentfool]

the persona 3 protagonist 25th anniversary nui in food appliances!

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Behold. A tangible representation of 8+ hours of my life: crochet pumpkins made for my sister

[pikkish]

I'm new to the fandom, just played 2016 and Eternal in quick succession. Eternal's DLC left me really dissatisfied, but I can't really explain why or how. Based on that poll you made, it's clear you've got some Opinions on the writing, so I was hoping you would like to share them? I feel like I need someone to mull over that whole story with. You can message me privately if you wish!!

Hi there! Welcome to the Doom fandom! I hope you enjoy your stay here more than you enjoyed TAG's writing! And you're more than welcome to come yell with me about Doom and its related games any time!

You're more than correct in your assertion that I have some Opinions about modern Doom's writing, in fact, I have quite a few of them. Most of them can be summed up as "the writing is just plain bad," which is probably also the reason you're unsatisfied with it. It's inconsistent, it regularly sacrifices coherence for the sake of something that looks cool for trailer shots, it has a lot of details that very much could be interesting plots but are simply ignored after their first mention, and at least a few more things that I'm forgetting, it's been a little bit since my last playthrough of TAG and these are just the major ones off the top of my head.

Take Hayden, for example. In 2016, he's the classic egotistical, powerful CEO of a major weapons industry, who maybe didn't necessarily intend to get a ton of people killed, but now that he has, he's gonna stick to his guns and insist he's still in the right, this was an unfortunate accident, but what he's doing is necessary, for the good of humanity, can't you see? He's the good guy! He's just trying to make things better! And he's dedicated to this course well enough that he's willing to betray the man who's there to save him, and boot Doomguy back into Hell at the end of 2016.

Then you get to Eternal, and he's inexplicably changed his mind for no good reason? And it's not like he's learned his lesson and has become more humble for it; sure, he got his rear handed to him by demons, and he emphatically states that the creation of Argent Energy is an "unholy union" that "cannot continue," but at the same time, he still acts constantly like he has everything under control and heavily implies that, were he in charge, this situation wouldn't be so bad- as if he weren't in charge when it got this bad. It's like they wanted him to have the exact same attitude (and therefore, ability to deliver dramatic voicelines) as in 2016, but didn't want to commit to him being a villain, so they just went "ok! he doesn't like Argent Energy any more," and went with it, then never felt the need to explain how or why this complete shift in attitude came about. As a result, it feels like Hayden has no clear motive or goals, and falls pretty flat as a character in general.

And then, to take it into TAG, there's the Seraphim, and don't even get me started on how much I hate that that's his name, "seraphim" is the PLURAL form of "seraph," it's like how "Guy" is a real name but then if they decided to name a character "Guys" instead, and it drives me crazy-- whom they go to some lengths to confirm is, in fact, the same person as Hayden, but then, despite the fact that Samur is sick and dying from the moment you revive him, for some reason, Hayden has to turn back into Samur. I suppose there's maybe some indication that Samur and Hayden are actually different people implied by Hayden referring to the Seraphim in the third person through the beginning of the Atlantica level, but there's still never any explanation given for that, whether they are or aren't the same person, or why you need to bring Samur back in Hayden's place.

And then, you beat Samur up, and guess what? He immediately stops being relevant to the plot and is almost completely forgotten. And that's a recurring theme in modern Doom! Olivia Pierce and the Khan Maykr both share the same fate, the moment they're dead, they practically just stop existing. Sure, there's the statue of Olivia in Nekravol, and, like, a single mention of the Khan in one of TAG's codices, if I remember correctly, but personally, to me, both of those feel more like the devs giving you a wink and a nudge and saying "haha hey, remember them?" like it's more of an Easter Egg than them actually having any significance.

And then there's the whole mess that is Davoth. Admittedly, having the Divinity Machine be fueled by his power, and Doomguy being enhanced by that power is thematically appropriate, what with the whole reason Doomguy wins being that he's even angrier than Hell. I also think something like the Divinity Machine and Dooomguy becoming superhuman did have to happen eventually, because how many times can one man singlehandedly beat back the whole of Hell itself before he stops being just some guy? But I don't think it was executed very well.

For one thing, I don't think it was a good move to imply that Doomguy always was some sort of pseudo-god super entity right from the start. Sure, like I said, he did inevitably have to stop being just some guy, but him being just some guy was a good bit of the charm of classic Doom in my opinion. All we knew about him was that he loved his pet rabbit, and was more willing to punch his commanding officer in the face than follow an order to shoot civilians. And yeah, if you take that, and also assume that the story cards are Doomguy's own internal monologue or at least a representation of his attitude, then you can't really say he was ever a blank slate character, but he was still just some guy, and he was relatable for that. And going "well, actually, he was a godling from the very beginning" just doesn't feel very good in my opinion, and feels like a big retcon besides. (And we'll get to more "well, ACTUALLY" stuff in a bit, but first I wanna finish up the tangentially Davoth related stuff first.)

All that aside, if we take it at face value and say sure, Doomguy was always something a little more than human, always destined to become the ultimate warrior, rather than making himself into the Doom Slayer by surviving Hell, then there's still not really any reason for Davoth to have looked exactly like him, beyond going "you-- but EVIL!!" for the drama of it. I think there was maybe one codex entry that says Davoth's whole soul-stealing operation was for the sake of providing his own people with immortality, which is to say, he was fighting to protect his home or something to that effect, so an argument could be made that his looking like Doomguy is an attempt at exploring "this is you, gone too far, this is you if you ever let go of your morals, this is everything you risk becoming," but, again, it's mentioned like... once, in one codex, and never explored or elaborated upon further. If I remember correctly, Davoth himself never even acknowledges this, it's just the codex entry, and he just goes on about how he'll kill Doomguy and destroy everything he ever loved. If they really wanted to make him a sympathetic villain like that, then they should've actually given us the opportunity to feel that sympathy for him. Let me see the people he's trying to protect- is it an idyllic paradise, oblivious to the lengths being gone to to keep them comfortable? A broken, dying people who should have gone extinct long ago, but for this thievery of the lives of others? I know Hell is supposed to be Jekkad, corrupted, and even in theory, that's fine- you could say Davoth's become so ruthless in pursuit of this immortality for his people that he's blinded himself to how it's also destroyed that which he was attempting to save- but you can't really see that. It's still just Hell, not really any sort of remnant of something worth saving.

And speaking of that. Trying to make Davoth a sympathetic villain at all feels like a bad choice to me. Doom is about fighting demons, about carving a bloody war path through the ultimate evil of Hell itself, and about feeling viciously satisfied about doing it. Making it about a desperate man who can't accept that he failed to save what he cared about, and making about killing that man before he does any more damage in attempting to do what he's already failed to do just doesn't feel good the way the rest of Doom does. And beyond that, TAG doesn't even succeed in the emotional gut punch that would come from it, had they managed to make Davoth into an actually sympathetic villain. It's like they're trying to strike a balance between the gratuitously violent and exhiliratingly triumphant feel that Doom is known for, and an emotionally impactful story, and as a result, both end up landing somewhere between mediocre and just plain bad.

I don't have a good segue into this bit except to say it's coming back to the "well, ACTUALLY," thing I mentioned earlier, which is: there are a lot of parts that feel a lot like a six year old kid is just making up the plot on the spot, like, for example, "Doomguy LAUNCHES himself out of a CANNON and he has a MAGIC SWORD and a PET DRAGON that carries him to the MAGIC CRYSTAL in the MIDDLE of the PLANET." Granted, these ones are pretty small and relatively inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, and, yeah, okay, they do look pretty cool. But they don't really... fit? Yeah, it's not like classic Doom didn't have this too, In Doom I alone, Doomguy gets pissed about not getting a reward for beating up the barons, practically just jumps off the side of Deimos, and then finally gets to go home when a secret teleporter just opens beside him after Hell decides he's "too tough" for it. But that all fits in classic Doom, because it's not trying to be a serious, grimdark story. Classic Doom is goofy, and it knows it, and it doesn't try to be anything else. But modern Doom tries so hard to be a very serious, dramatic story and also keep the sillier bits of classic Doom, and- yeah, okay, I already made this point once, but here it is again- it ultimately kinda fails at both as a result.

But then there's the bigger of these, namely VEGA. You spend the majority of both 2016 and Eternal with him as your main companion, and, as far as I can remember, there's never really anything to indicate that he's anything other than what he's introduced as, a sentient AI, created to help manage the Mars base. And then you get to the end of Eternal, and- after basically making you sacrifice him for a second time- with next to no buildup, go, "well actually, he's the god of the bad guys." And I'd complain about that plot thread also being brought up and then dropped with no further elaboration, except they do elaborate on it, and that's basically all that TAG is about. They spend the whole of TAG 1 telling you how VEGA is the god of Literally Everything, and how he made Davoth, then didn't kill him when he started to get out of hand, and aren't you MAD at him, for making all your problems, for being too merciful with his own creation that he loved, and don't you just wanna DESTROY the thing that would give him power again?

And then you get to TAG 2 and they spend the whole time going "WELL ACTUALLY it's DAVOTH who's god and VEGA STILL couldn't kill him and he's been LYING to you this ENTIRE TIME." It almost feels to me like a bad fandom interpretation to justify not liking a character, except worse because they're actually the ones who made the character and wrote the story, and I'm not entirely sure why they intentionally tried to make VEGA a helpful, likeable character, gave him a backstory that arguably makes him more sympathetic than Davoth, and then went "actually we hate him now and are gonna do everything we can to try to make you hate him too."

There are definitely more things I could bring up, like whatever the whole deal with the wraiths and the World Spear is, and probably a handful of other things I'm forgetting, too, but it's getting late and I gotta get up to go to work tomorrow. At any rate, thanks for stopping by and giving me an excuse to finally yell about these things! Feel free to stop by and chat with me about video games whenever you want, I love getting to hear other people's thoughts on these things just as much as I love getting to give my own.

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

[sharkneto]

How long do you think it should take between chapter uploads on Ao3?

As long as the author needs

[weaselle]

i want to talk about real life villains

Not someone who mugs you, or kills someone while driving drunk, those are just criminals. I mean VILLAINS.

Not like trump or musk, who are... cartoonishly evil. And not sexy villains, not grandiose villains, not even satisfyingly two dimensional villains it is easy to hate unconditionally. The real villains.

I had a client who was a retired executive for one of the big oil companies, i think it was Shell or Chevron. Had a home just outside of San Francisco that was wall to wall floor to ceiling full of expensive art. Literally. I once accidentally knocked a painting off the wall because it was hanging at knee height at the corner of the stairs, and it had a little brass plaque on it, and i looked up the name of the artist and it was Monet's apprentice and son-in-law, who was apparently also a famous painter. He had an original Andy Warhol, which should have been a prize piece for anyone to showcase -- it was hanging in the bathroom. I swear to god this guy was using a Chihuly (famous glass sculptor) as a fruit bowl. And he was like, "idk my wife was the one who liked art"

I was intrigued by this guy, because in the circles i run this dude is The Enemy. right? Wealthy oil executive? But as my client, he was... like a sweet grandpa. A poor widower, a nice old man, anyone who knew him would have called him a sweetheart. He had a slightly bewildered air, a sort of gentle bumbling nature.

And the fact that he was both of these things, a Sweet Little Old Man and The Enemy, at the same time, seemed important and fascinating to me.

He reminded me of some antagonist from fiction, but i couldn't put my finger on who. And when i did it all made sense.

John Hammond.

probably one of the most realistic bad guys ever written.

If you've only ever seen the movie, this will need some explaining.

Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park in 1990, and i read it shortly thereafter. In the movie, the dinosaurs are the antagonists, which imo erases 50% of the point of the story.

book spoilers below.

In the book, John Hammond is the villain but it takes the reader like half the book to figure that out. Just like my client, John is a sweet old man who wants lovely things for people. He's a very sympathetic character. But as the book progresses, you start to see something about him.

He has an idea, and he's sure it's a good one. When someone else dies in pursuit of his dream, he doesn't think anything of it. When other people turn out to care about that, he brings in experts to evaluate the safety of his idea, and when they quickly tell him his idea is dangerous and needs to be put on hold, he ignores his own experts that he himself hired, because they are telling him that he is wrong, and he is sure he is right.

In his mind, he's a visionary, and nobody understands his vision. He is surrounded by naysayers. Several things have proven too difficult to do the best and safest way, so he has cut corners and taken shortcuts so he can keep moving forward with his plans, but he's sure it's fine. He refuses to hear any word of caution, because he believes he is being cautious enough, and he knows best, even though he has no background in any of the sciences or professions involved. He sends his own grandchildren out into a life-threatening situation because he is willfully ignorant of the danger he is creating.

THIS is like the real villains of the world. He doesn't want anyone to die. Far from it, he only wants good things for people! He's a sweet old man who loves his grandchildren. But he has money and power and refuses to hear that what he is doing is dangerous for everyone, even his own family.

I think he's possibly one of the most important villains ever written in popular fiction.

In the book, he is killed by a pack of the smallest, cutest, "least dangerous" dinosaurs, because a big part of why we read fiction is to see the villains face thematic justice. But like a cigarette CEO dying of lung cancer, his death does not stop his creation from spreading out into the world to continue to endanger everyone else.

I think it is really important to see and understand this kind of villainy in fiction, so you can recognize it in real life.

Sweetheart of a grandfather. Wanted the best for everyone. Right up until what was best for everyone inconvenienced the pursuit of his own interests.

And my client was like that too. His wife had died, and his dog was now the love of his life, and she was this little old dog with silky hair in a hair cut that left long wispy bits on her lower legs. Certain plant materials were easily entangled in this hair and impossible to get out without pulling her hair which clearly hurt her. When i suggested he ask his groomer to trim her lower leg hair short to avoid this, he refused, saying he really liked her usual hair cut.

I emphasized that she was in pain after every walk due to the plant debris getting caught in her leg hair, and a simple trim could put an end to her daily painful removal of it, and he just frowned like i'd recommended he take a bath in pig shit and said "But she'll be ugly" and refused to talk about it anymore.

Sweet old man though. Everyone loved him.