#which. was clearly a lie
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Embarrassing post to make, but next year a big goal of mine is to spend more of my free time writing/reading/drawing/gaming and less time scrolling endlessly on TikTok
#i was doing well for a while. i had a timer on it that i stuck to#and then because that worked i was like. i can get rid of the timer I don't even need it!#which. was clearly a lie#i also did good for a while when i was watching bluey because instead of thinking#'i'll just watch tiktoks for 5 minutes!'#which always inevitably turns into hours#I'd instead. watch an episode of bluey#which /are/ 5 minutes long. and even if i ended up watching more it's still only like. 15 minutes#but yeah. the goal is not only to do more things. its mostly to replace the one terrible thing#thank god i did not have it as a child or teen#you know what. putting the timer on now.#i already do have one. and warnings. but theyre too easy to bypass#woes of emily
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AHHH your kimchay post about kim pretending to be poor made me crack up so much!! <3
but can I just make a tiny tiny suggestion: how funny would it be if chay actually knew kim was pretending from the time in the restaurant?
at first chay's mad that kim is "tricking" him so he decides to keep pretending to see how long kim is going to keep the charade up. and kim just... keeps... pretending and like his horrible empty apartment confuses chay so much (maybe cuz he spots kim in a mall one day dressed in like designer clothes, stepping out of his fancy lamborghini so why does kim own an apartment in that horrid neighbourhood?) and in the process of pretending chay realises that kim is nothing like all the rich people he hates and he kind of ends up falling for his stupidly handsome face but like... how... is chay... going to break the news to kim that he's known all along that he's rich???!?
(so kimchay get locked in a mutual deception where neither of them realise the other knows the truth and can't tell each other because they've just gone on too long now. XD)
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I'm glad you liked it anon! 🥰💛 i love the idea of Kim just constantly digging himself deeper unknowingly 😭😭😭
But I want Chay to be oblivious during the dinner but what if when they leave the restaurant Kim's like hey two secs the waiter needed to talk to me i'll be right back and Chay nods and then after a couples minutes decides he needs the bathroom so he goes and then when he comes out of the bathroom he over hears Kim and the waiter talking and the waiter is like 'of course Khun Theerapanyakul' and like bows and stuff and Chay's like (in his head) 'Theerapanyakul??? 🤨 isn't that that super rich family???'
anyway he doesn't say anything right away and they end the date and its all cute and nice and Kim had been perfectly sweet this whole time and hasn't acted like any of the other rich assholes Chay had known so he lets it slide and he's willing to just cut Kim off after the date and ghost him.
So he goes a few days (weeks?) not replying to anything Kim sends him and Kim sends messages like 'I know youre probably working lots, make sure your eating well, miss you ❤️'
and then just as Chay came to terms with not seeing Kim again cause he did really enjoy being with Kim, he sees Kim at one of the high end shopping centers, luxury sports car, decked in high fashion clothing brands and expensive jewelry, Chay even sees that Kim has body guards??? Chay is glad he dogged that bullet he's sure Kim would've eventually turned into a rich asshole and it was just a trick.
But then Chay follows Kim for a little (at a distance. something that's plausible cause it is a giant shopping center) he watches Kim eat at one of the fancy cafes, he's polite to the servers, he even stacks the plates and stuff before leaving. (Chay thinks back to one of their dates where he took Kim to a fast food place and remembers how Kim seemed hesitant to eat it and ordered a small portion, at the time he thought it was cause Kim was broke but now he thinks its cause Kim probably hated the cheap fast food but he still ate it, for Chay.)
Someone accidentally walks into Kim at one point and Chay expects him to get mad and yell like every other rich asshole would, but he doesn't. The day continues like that. He sees Kim buy some make up and one of the shop keepers accidentally spills something on him and once again Chay expects Kim to get annoyed and berate them, but he doesn't.
Chay decides to finally respond to Kim. He watches Kim's face light up as he pulls his phone out and reads Chay's message, and now Chay feels bad about ghosting Kim so he gives an excuse about being sick or something and Kim texts back he'll come over and nurse Chay to health.
(Chay rushes home cause kim wouldnt take no for an answer and then when Kim does arrive in completely different clothes than what he was wearing at the shop and with no jewelry in sight Kim aslo gives Chay a gift that Chay had seen Kim spend about an hour going through the shop deliberating on buying, chay didnt know how much it cost but it was probably expensive but not something he would think was expensive if he hadn't seen the shop kim brought it from. He thinks Kim is even more adorable.)
And then Chay just never figures out how to tell Kim he knows Kim isn't poor. But every time he sees Kim act like it he has to hold in his laughter. The derelict apartment? The clear second hand clothes? Chay thinks how hard kim is trying to keep up this act is both endearing but also kinda frustrating. He regrets going on that rant about hating rich people cause he knows Kim probably feels like if he admits who he is or Chay will hate him, but also the longer Kim keeps it a secret the deeper a hole he thinks he's digging.
Chay knows he's gonna have to be the one to admit he knows but what if Kim gets mad Chay let him struggle to pretend to be poor?
Chay does set up little 'traps' for Kim to expose he's rich but also Kim is kinda oblivious and doesn't realise that what he just did outs him as rich so the game continues for way longer than it should
#idk maybe there is one more date in between the dinner and chay ghosting him where he decides to see how far kim is willing to go to hold up#his lie#but then he just doesnt let anything chay do shake the lie so chay decides to ghost him then as kim clearly is willing to build#their entire relationship on a lie which chay doesnt want but also chay doesnt want to confront him about it so ghosting i easier#if u wanna keep talking anon please feel free :) <3#kimchay#mine#kim theerapanyakul#porchay kittisawasd#ask#hope this is okay? :)
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i will never justify why i like deh bc i don’t have to actually. i can just like it no qualifier needed
#this is inspired by a post but by no means a direct response#im just sick of anyone who ever says they like deh following it up with an ‘even though it sucks’#u can just say u like it#also it doesn’t suck okay it’s not problematic bc that doesn’t#doesn’t mean anything#the story isn’t trying to tell people to lie about knowing dead kids it’s not a moral lesson#the music slaps#have ur issues with it whatever but stawp with the shame#no media is without flaws#deh is not objectively bad as much as people want to believe that#honestly no one gets to clown on deh when dark romance is insanely popular on tiktok#by which I mean clearly we can understand that media doesn’t have to reflect real life morals#it doesn’t have to be pure and clean#im literally so cold rn#that’s unrelated#let people enjoy deh guilt free#let the tiktok girlies enjoy mafia stalker fiction#live and let live!#do i main tag this#dear evan hansen#deh#dear evan hansen (2021)
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"Can I call you 'Drias?"
"Only one person ever called me that"
"Oh! Gotcha! Too personal. Boundaries, Marcy!"
My babygirl blaming herself and her difficulty reading social cues when she didn't do anything 😭 how was she supposed to know it was "too personal"?? She automatically assumes she did something wrong she assumes she messed up my BABY
#amphibia#my posts#also andrias that is one big fat LIE both Leif and Barrel called you 'Drias#this useless fucking idiot forgot he had a whole ass boyfriend back then 😭😭😭#also -> Marcy having trouble remembering she needs to respect people's boundaries to the point she has a little mantra#to remind herself of that. + the 'prom?' poster reading 'yes or YES' = Marcy crossing the boundaries of her friendship with anne and sasha#by fantazising about going to prom with them. something stereotypically romantic#this is what my friend claude (xx century french anthropologist claude lévi-straus father of functional-structuralism) would call#the ''exaggeration'' of a bond. in his analysis of the myth of Oedipus and in how he linked it to the myth of Antigone#Oedipus incestuous relationship with his mother is analogous to Antigone violating the city laws to illegally bury her dead brother#this is: the exaggeration of a familial bond beyond the reach of what is socially acceptable (yes it's far fetched yes i know yes#yes we talked about it in class)#this is opposed to Oedipus killing his father: the underestimation of familial bonds.#which is analogous to the war between atens and sparta: slaughter among brothers#in this case Marcy's continuous violation of her friends' boundaries betrays an exaggeration of their bond#as exemplified by her ''wanting to take them to prom'' in a ''dream'' (which would be very jungian of her)#don't take my word for this tho because i got a 2 on my last exam so clearly i need to read my lévi-strauss again
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i got to talk to the state agency about getting my tuition reimbursed since it's been a week since my school closed. the school itself hasn't said a word to any of the students and ive left multiple emails, i sent a message thru the system they sent us announcements through(which they stopped using for whatever reason in june), and i tried to comment on their social media but they havent been going through.
im honestly thinking about finding the personal phone number and email address of the owner and sending it to as many students as I can so we can actually get an answer. cause all of our stuff is still locked in the building and the people from the state agency said the only thing the school gave them was the roster of students, no transcripts or anything. if there's any student there who could find that info its me
#the agency did a group call for the students and a bunch of people were there and very clearly upset#and the people from the state were really apologetic and they're doing their best to contact the school#good thing is even if i transfer and all my hours arent transferred over i can still get reimbursed for the hours ive lost#and i can even get reimbursed for the clothes i bought for school since there was a specific dress code#plus all the supplies i had to buy myself. most of which are still in my locker at the school 🙃#should i print out pictures of the owner and write EMBEZZLER over it and tape it on the door of the school? just to goad them into#saying something to us? idc if its a lie idc if it's slander or whatever. i want answers and I'll harass the fuck out of them
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lyrics transcript under the cut
Go on look at it
Which part of me is the one you need
Which part of me is the one you keep
Inside your head when you fall asleep
The one that you cry about
The one you touch even if it’s not allowed
You don’t care, cuz you paid and you paid a lot
It wasn’t part of the deal but you’re sure it was
And I got used to it
I treat my pain like a currency
My body goes numb when you’re touching it
Sacrifice good for economy
My economy
My ego
And me, we don’t agree on
What’s good for me
It’s lethal
He says it’s for the people
I think that I should
Stay off the radar
It’s all for the better
Head under the water
It won’t even matter
Want from me
What do you want you from me
When you can’t have me
Then you come for me
What you see
Didn’t come for free
I don’t owe you any
Reciprocity
Keep listening
Half of the things you’re imagining
All your delusions, fantasies
Aren’t even close to reality
That part of me
The one you’re so highly admiring
The one you’re obsessed with and everything
Is gone I don’t need you to pity me
I’m way better now
I don’t need you to clap don’t need you to bow
Don’t tell me what you want to do to me and how
It’s something I can do without
(I do it for) My ego
We don’t always agree on
What’s good for me
But beyond our differences
We still know
That part of me
I made for your pleasure
Was made under pressure
And once I grow older
It won’t even matter
Want from me
What do you want you from me
When you can’t have me
Then you come for me
What you see
Didn’t come for free I don’t owe you any
Reciprocity
#very armand of jann not gonna lie#jann#iwtv#it goes on my secret armand and marius playlist (on which I hate marius and call him out)#its 99% right lyrics. jann usually sings very clearly#iwtv armand
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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i’m home !!
procedure went real well, everything was really smooth and almost as soon as they said, “you can count backwards if you want,” i don’t think i even said ten before i was suddenly in recovery and sipping some ginger ale.
honestly the worst part was the iv because they had to do it on the side of my wrist because apparently my veins are crooked ?? i just hate ivs anyway so that’s no surprise but other than that no complaints.
everyone was real nice and made sure i was well taken care of (my nurse even had me pee one more time before so she wouldn’t have to do a catheter which with my history…..thank you)
but yeah, i’ll have a follow up in about a month just to make sure everything’s good and the iud is doing its thing !!
i do have some cramping and bleeding but that’s normal, although a little funny because i literally just stopped my period yesterday but…oh well !! hopefully in a few months i won’t have hardly any so this we can handle and i hace some medicine (and my ~medicine) that’ll help so i’m all set.
mom had to go run some errands so my little recovery buddy is keeping me company. also, a moment of recognition for my new favorite shirt (thank you as always, Boss Dog Art; i’ve already got my eye on another one that says, “i think therefore i am against transphobia around the world” or something like that and it’s got a cool skeleton on it; this is my third shirt from them and they’re really comfy and good quality so not sponsored but check them out, they seem cool):
#It’s been a rough week leading up to this i’m not gonna lie#one of my neighbors was shooting on Sunday when i was in the pool#which i’m used to at this point#but for some reason i got triggered into a panic attack#and could not catch my breath#could not calm down for several minutes just scream crying#had to dunk my head underwater a few times and splash myself in the face#eventually i just buried my face in my towel and screamed cried until i physically had to stop#because i thought i was about to have a heart attack#so that wasn’t so chill#spent the rest of the day shaking#guess you just never know when it’s gonna hit!!#another plane has hit the ptsd towers#sorry#not for nothing though but the shooting stopped so there’s that#they probably thought someone had a fuckin’ ari aster movie turned up over here#nope just a mentally unstable bitch doing her best which clearly isn’t great but what can ya do!!#it was kinda funny though because i’ve been hesitant to go back out there since#but finally yesterday i had even worked longer the day before so i could really enjoy it#it had been sunny all day#no signs of rain#i’m ready to get some exercise in because i knew it might be a while#before i can again so i was really looking forward to a nice 30 minute run#damned if it didn’t start raining as soon as i got out there#and that was fine#i still ran a little got my water weights in#but the kicker was i looked at the weather on my phone and it looked like it was going to keep raining#so i said okay let me just go take a shower and settle in for the night#it didn’t rain and the sun came back out so oh well!#but point is…today went well and i’m doing okay and things could always be worse so no worries <3
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taylor x 5sos parallels - part 9/?
#yeah. yeah. enjoy <3#analysis! this one is obviously like. the time is the same lol but the feeling behind is there too but again. kind of opposite#where ibytam is post break up and is like *im* still awake but im suureee youre just fine bc of course you are in more of a mocking (?) way#lie to me is the. im sure youre fine and i wish you werent and im here SAD and youre out there being fine#ibytam is like yeah yeah you think youre so much better than me but yknow what i bet you think abt me and miss me bc im actually great#but lie to me is like. i wish you were thinking abt me not thinking abt him and i know you dont miss me or love me but say you do anyway#but theyre both detailing the aftermath of a relationship which clearly was not working but from dif povs after the fact#like one is glad it's over and one isn't#swiftsos parallels#i bet you think about me#lie to me#taylor swift#5sos#5 seconds of summer#red tv#youngblood#taylor swift lyrics#5sos lyrics#parallels#it’s queue and me#mparallels
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#nevermind i'll stay single lolllll#i know she's one opinion in a sea of many but like....this is what happened to me#i was nothing more than a convenient validation faucet cook housekeeper status marker and entertainment source#and as soon as i had problems that outweighed my usefulness i was disposed of#the way i will never move in with a man again unless we are engaged!!!!#no more wife benefits for a girlfriend price fuck that shit#men are users honestly like 98.99996% of them#stats don't lie they clearly show married women are less healthy live shorter lives and are more miserable than single women#media really brainwashed us and the worst part is men know how to fake it sooooooo well for the first couple of years#which you would normally think is long enough to get a read on someone but apparently not#tiktok#4b movement
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at the end of the day, i think the dems really just. overestimated the average american's intelligence
#it really felt like they didnt say things and didnt hammer certain things in because#1 they were afraid to lie/exaggerate? which. idk if they were right to act like that. lying and exaggerating apparently does better#2 they seemed content to let things go because they felt comfortable there was a line. apparently there isnt#the average american does not give a shit about democracy#and i guess as politicians (who know a heck of a lot about democracy) they kinda assumed people knew more than they do#also assumed people care more about others. clearly they dont. and they dont have the logic or care to get that theyre sabotaging themselve#'did biden drop out' i guess republicans continuing to act like biden was their opponent worked. ????#us politics#negative //
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i showed my mom stp, thought shed get the damsel ! no !! she turned into the voice of the stubborn immediatly upon hearing that she must slay the princess. wanted the narrator to shut up, wanted to skip the path in the woods. didnt care about why/how she survived dying, why the path is changing, etc, only wanted to slay the princess. narrator's strongest soldier... !! got the eye of the needle and lured her out. no damsel only murder (also this was my first time seeing adversary/eye of the needle and shes SO SO SO COOLLL i love themmm my best friend the adversary!!!!!) thought youd find this fun ?! sparkle on its wednesday dont forget to slay the princess
THIS WAS YOUR FIRST TIME SEEING ADVERSARY/EON???? AHHGHGHHG gurglinf and crying. i kin ur morher i think. There is something about stp that makes you act in complete conviction whether that’s killing the princess or saving her
#the first time i got adversary was srsly magical i cant even make it up#it felt like i really Understood the game#it didnt matter to me how we revived or what the meaning behind it all was or that it’s clearly better to free the princess#i KNEW i had to fight. and oh my god we could fight FOREVER! IT WAS GREAT!#THE PRINCESS AND ME WERE ON THE SAME PAGE SHE DIDNT LIE TO ME I DIDNT LIE TO HER#WE WERE JUST HAVING THE TIME OF OUR LIVES BEATING EACH OTHER TO DEATH#it truly felt like i was the voice of the stubborn#so yes i am really happy about this information thank you so much#cramswering#im not kidding there’s some sort of drug in this game that makes you get tunnel vision depending on which route/voice u get#like i would get completely opposite routes back to back - a route where we both hated each other and tried to hurt each other as much as#we could and a route where we both loved each other and wanted the best for each other - all of those felt real#one didnt cancel out the other#i odnt know. this game is so fucking perfect#i dont know how to describe the feeling it gave me the first time i played i really dont
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#they're the best characters your honour#i feel so many ways about gansey and the pig#like you could say gansey (narratively speaking) serves as the vehicle for the story; despite the fact that he was supposed to die#and even tho the pig keeps breaking down gansey keeps forcing it to power through#just like how he forces himself to keep going even as his time is running out#i don't remember if this actually happens but the pig eventually runs on magic instead of its engine#which is a parallel to gansey being kept alive with magic (noah and cabeswater's sacrifice)#and as for crowley; I think the bentley embodies everything that he's trying to supress#we see this more clearly when aziraphale is driving it and it willingly lets him change its colour; the music; and the speed#i always found it interesting that whilst crowley keeps trying to convince aziraphale he's not the way he is bc he's a demon#he also uses his demonic aesthetics as something to hide behind; just like how his sunglasses act as a wall between him and everyone else#he lets aziraphale assume he's used a gun before and he leans into the whole “demons lie” rhetoric#and yet the bentley is the most honest version of him we get to see bc it exists without restrictions (aside from the ones crowley imposes)#anyways it's probably not that deep lol#gansey#crowley#good omens#trc#the bentley#the pig
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ooooo i just told my mom abt the police detective calling me this morning abt my aunt and she's so mad at my aunt
#there is TEA#and im telling you guys cause it's funny to me since my aunt is a POS#but apparently like a week ago someone came to our house looking for my aunt and asking our landlord if she lives here#my aunt is currently Voluntarily homeless (yes. Voluntarily???)#so she doesn't live with us#but my mom talked to her and said i don't want people coming to this fucking house looking for you#and my aunt said that everything was fine and she had gone to the police station a couple days ago#and said she wasn't being looked for or anything#which is clearly now a lie bc of the guy who called me today#so my mom is pissy#she was like yeah pass the info to auntie and tell her to fucking call me too. so my mom is gunna chew her out#jester.txt
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ThriftBooks I can literally buy this new on Amazon for $18*, why are your algorithms so stupid.
*I am not going to pay $18 for it, which is why I set up the alert on the website that literally markets itself by name as being thrifty, but the point is you absolutely do not have the upper hand here and it's hysterical that you're pretending you do.
#i hate dynamic pricing so bad y'all#p.s. just for fun I put the ISBN in to their buyback form to see what they are offering people for something this Rare and Special#and it said 'sorry no sale; we have enough of that item!' which. clearly you do not??#just want to make it clear to everyone that in 99% of cases ThriftBooks is no longer the cheapest place to get your books#it offers some deals on popular brand new books to compete with Amazon. But otherwise? go to eBay. i promise TB's 'rewards program' is#a lateral move at best when you add up what you save by buying cheaper items from sellers who also offer free shipping and#oftentimes discounts when you buy 3 or 4 at a time#this turned into a soapbox post but seriously every time I look at their site I am ASTOUNDED how downhill it's sped in the last few years#can't even trust ThriftBooks' grading system (AND their policy is no refunds or returns for any reason if the book cost less than $15#even when they flat out lie to you that a book is in Like New condition so you pay the extra $2...to get a book with torn and bent pages#and since my rant keeps spiraling: i still have alerts on for relatively scarce items just in case#but the last one they sent me was for Blood and Treasure season 2 on DVD (yay!) and it was...like $40 for an EX-LIBRARY copy lmao
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local idiot reads book titled 'icarus,' is shocked when it contains references to falling and the sun, more at eleven
#labhrambles#ok2rb#i am in SHAMBLES. i NEVER read anymore but jesus if this wasnt a way to start back up#also this is the first time ive ever annotated a book with like. little sticky notes#sort of as practice ig bc i was reading a snippet of the b*ab/el book by rf ku*an/g and went.#i cannot just read this. i have thoughts to think. i need to purchase this book and write in it.#but i had already started the icarus one so i continued that and started using stickies#you can VERY CLEARLY SEE where things started to go VERY WRONG#bc i used pink to denote Big Emotions (i dont know how to identify feelings)#then orange and yellow for direct allusions/adaptations from the og myth#then blue for teared up/cried#anyway. full on waterworks when i got to the authors note. three blues on top of each other for effect#i picked up ba*be/l bc a booktuber i like was losing her mind over it#like. I Read Three Decent Books And Also Ba*be/l. These Are All Like Three Stars. And Then There's Ba*be/l#and i went :D well *i* want to be that sad!!#also bc its like so thoroughly and necessarily entangled with language which i love#anyway im off to go sit in a corner. my mom literally came to check i was ok bc my light was off#bc i had to lie on the floor about a boy and his sun for a while
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