#which. duh. he's the adult and the parent

[brionysea]

my hot take of the day is that ted actually gives mike good advice. when mike talking about how much he cares about another boy at dinner made nancy storm off, ted said "see what happens?" and three seasons later mike's worried about losing el because he likes boys. mike not keeping quiet about homophobia at school ended with him getting forced off a cliff and almost dying, and to tie into that, ted's "so if your friend jumps off a cliff, you're gonna jump, too?" comment foreshadows how mike caving to peer pressure at the snow ball when everyone started heteronormatively pairing up led to the whole situation that he, el and will are in now. they're both right a lot more than people think but no one ever notices. getting some real "you're everything i might be and i'm everything you could have been" energy here

[paragonrobits]

some important calvin and hobbes facts in case you haven't read the original comic strip in a long time or only absorbed stuff on it from memes and out of context bits on here:

Calvin's last name has never been given, and neither has any of his parent's names. This was actually why his uncle Max only showed up for a brief storyline; the creator of the comic, Bill Watterson, ultimately felt that while it was fine to have him as someone for his parents to talk to, it felt far too awkward to never have Max refer to them by name and he never made a return appearance.

The general tone of the comic is fairly light-hearted, with a big emphasis on goofy slapstick comedy contrasted by clever wordplay and often surprising adult-centered jokes that'll hit you like a slap. A big part of the comedy is, as Watterson put it (paraphrased) "It's really funny to me when people express deeply stupid ideas with really fancy terminology." One notable example you might have seen is that one bit where Calvin asks his mom for money to buy a Satan-worshiping rock album and his mom replies that there's nothing genuine about them and they're just putting on the attitude for shock value, and comisserates with Calvin as he deplores that mainstream nihilism can't be trusted. He concludes that childhood is disillusioning.

There is a LOT of criticism of the extreme materialism and selfish mentality of the late 80s, when the comic was initially written. This may go a long way to explain how its aged so well; much of what it criticizes resonates well with people today.

Bill Watterson views comic strips a legitimate form of artwork, and repeatedly fought to have more space to draw more beautiful and artistic backgrounds, which was a very hard fight and unpopular even with other comic strip artists. He eventually did win some compromises and a lot of Calvin And Hobbes' artwork shows it, with the use of space to indicate time as well as a sharp contrast between the often plain environments of mundane life contrasted by the wildly beautiful imagery of Calvin's imagination (which often sports realistic depictions in an art shift of sorts).

Hobbes is explicitly not an imaginary friend, by word of Watterson himself. We don't know WHAT he is exactly, and Hobbes is apparently unaware of the strange nature of his reality; people look at him and only see an ordinary stuffed tiger plushie, but he has a tangible effect on the world that would be physically impossible for Calvin to do on his own. He's apparently been around for a while, and was apparently around when Calvin was a young baby.

On that note; Hobbes has implicitly killed (notably treated as both a gag and also with the vibe of 'he's a tiger, duh') and while he doesn't do it again on-screen, he doesn't have any moral issues about it. Calvin claims that he's never had trouble bringing Hobbes to school because the last time he did, Hobbes killed and ate a bully named Tommy Chestnut and simply comments that it was gross and he needed a bath. Calvin's tried to repeat this again, but Hobbes was grossed out at the thought having to eat a kid raw and not being allowed to use an oven first, or complaining that children are too fattening.

Hobbes became gradually less human-like in body language and more like an actual cat in both body language and behavior; this was due to Watterson drawing more inspiration from his cat, who also inspired a lot of Hobbes' running gags, such as pouncing on Calvin when he got home. Several years into the syndication of the strip, Watterson's cat passed away, and he did a tribute to her with a comic strip of the two of them agreeing to try to dream together so they can keep playing when they have to sleep; Watterson's commentary (if I recall right), remarks on his cat: "We can see each other again in dreams."

[ghost-bison]

what i love about rtd companions is that even martha who was a fricking doctor was just a normal young adult. donna was the most normal woman in her mid-thirties you could find. rose was what people call a "chav". and the ninth doctor didn't have a "posh" accent. he sounded like a northerner. this is great

i am a northerner myself, but from france, where (surprise!) people with our accent and background are belittled like in britain, as we're working class. france isn't as elitist as britain but it's been getting worse

i live in france where people like rose are called "cas-sociaux" (charity cases basically, "cassos" for short) which has become an insult. we use it to tell people they're stupid. so basically, your level of intelligence is mesured by your up-bringing. if you're rich and still have both your parents, you're smarter. if you're poor and have only one parent, you're dumb. which is fucking shit, btw

but this classicism can be associated with so much racism in france towards mixed-raced people (and immigrants in general, even those who are now naturalized). cause statistically speaking, a lot of them are poor. thing is, they're poor and some of them even labeled as "delinquants", not because they're lazy or stupid, but because white people won't let them get jobs! duh

so yeah, i know rose is white (2005 uk tv, right?), but she's still poor and "underpriviledged" (much like myself, and even more so than myself), and eccleston even talked about this during a convention, how when billie piper was cast as rose there was a lot of negative feedback, because she was a pop-star. it's again very much linked to classicism, "people having to stay in their boxes"

and it's crazy hilarious and fantastic how the doctor himself gives a big fuck you to all those people who have been fans of the show for so long, by giving ZERO FUCKS that rose lives in a council flat or donna is considered a "lowbrow" due to her up-bringing her education and job or that martha has more melanin than his previous companions

the most brilliant creature in the universe would rather travel with your curious broke ass than with some snooty sophisticated daddy's girl and it makes the boomers so mad

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 1

Part 1:

When they were kids, Liana and Art didn't like each other. To be more precise, they couldn't stand each other. They were born in the same month, and because their parents were such good friends, they always celebrated their birthdays together. Since Art was born two weeks after her and his grandmother firmly believed that one should not celebrate in advance, Liana never celebrated her birthday on its actual date, and that was a good enough reason to hate Art Donaldson forever.

When they were 7 years old (or more precisely, he was seven, and she was seven and two weeks), Art received his first tennis racket, and Liana got a small skateboard with a Pokémon design. He cried. Of course, he cried; everything Liana had, Art wanted too. He didn't know how to share anything, and eventually, Liana was forced to let him use her skateboard whenever they met, which unfortunately was at least once a week.

"You don't even know how to ride it," she tried to instill some logic into the blonde boy. "Do you?" he asked curiously. "Not yet, but I'll learn, duh," she rolled her eyes at him. "Then I'll learn too," he shrugged and went to wash his face, returning a few minutes later as if nothing had happened.

Only those who knew Art well understood what Liana knew - he was a crybaby who was never satisfied with what he already had. His friends passed around the racket he received as if it were a chocolate cake while he continued to glance at Liana, who was trying to balance on the skateboard and nearly fell.

At the age of 12, Art was accepted into the fancy tennis boarding school he couldn't stop talking about to anyone who would listen (even those who wouldn't), and Liana was the first to arrive at the party held in his honor. She was so excited. As far as she was concerned, Art wouldn't be coming back. There was a high chance that now, with him gone, she could convince his parents that it wasn't worth maintaining him at home. He was too much of a headache, and they were too good-hearted to keep enduring his presence.

Instead of that happening, he came back with a curly-haired addition named Patrick Zweig. They shared a room at the boarding school, and now he spent half the summer with them. Every time Liana wanted to do something like go to the pool with her friends, her parents would say that the Donaldsons had a pool at their house. Every time she wanted to lie on the grass and read a book, the two noisy boys would decide to play right in front of her, until she gave up on the book and had no choice but to stare at them. It was a pity her plan didn't work, sadly Art didn't stay at his stupid boarding school forever.

By the age of 17, it was clear to everyone that Art was good at tennis. Really good at tennis. He won youth singles competitions and also did well in doubles with Patrick. Her parents forced her to attend quite a few of these tournaments.

"Li, I think you're my lucky charm," he said in front of everyone at dinner after one of the tournaments, smiling a smile that only Liana knew was malicious. Everyone melted at the touching gesture of the ultimate champion taking time for the girl he grew up with, but Liana knew Art too well. He couldn't fool her with his feigned niceness, his suddenly acquired manners. She knew him too well and knew that everything he did was always about embarrassing her and making her do something she didn't want to do. "So, are you suggesting I stop coming to your games?" she asked, taking a bite of chicken, throwing a smile of her own. Two could play this game. "You're going to be at most of my games for the rest of our lives anyway," he shrugged while Liana raised an eyebrow, and the adults around the table laughed as if they knew something Liana and Art didn't. Later, Liana sat on a chair by the pool, and Art sat next to her. She looked at him with the same expression as before, and he raised one hand in surrender. "I come with peace offerings," he pulled out a cake and two spoons from behind his back. Her raised eyebrow turned into suspicion. "What do you want?" she reached for one of the spoons. "I missed you, Li. Tell me something good," he took a bite of the cake and in response got another eye roll that made him lightly slap her hand as it reached for the cake. "You're not getting any until I hear at least one interesting story," he moved the cake as far from her as he could. "I'll just go in and get a piece for myself," she replied quickly. "There’s no more. I took the last one," he took another bite, knowing she was starting to worry about how much cake would be left for her if he finally agreed to let her have some. "I started working on my applications to Stanford," she said, and he moved the cake closer to her, finally letting her eat.

"How's it going?" he asked. They both knew Stanford was a big deal; their families had history there. Art's parents got engaged there. Everything in their lives revolved around getting into Stanford. "I'll be fine. I'm in all the extracurriculars at school, student council, and prom committees. My essay is a bit boring, needs more work, but I have a year, so maybe something will change," she shrugged and saw he hadn't eaten the last bite of the cake, leaving it for her.

"Write about your best friend and what it's like growing up in the shadow of the best tennis player in America," he said with a serious tone, and after a few seconds, he started laughing. "Write about how you miss me," he added. His laughter faded a bit as he studied her, and she went back to looking at the pool. "If I decide to lie in my university application essay, I'd rather write that I got into a modeling agency and live a double life like Hannah Montana," she replied without looking at him. "You're mean," he chuckled and stared at the pool, enjoying the silence between them.

When they went inside, Liana saw there was still half a cake left, and Art, noticing her look, just shrugged and went to talk to her dad about basketball. A year later, things got a bit complicated. Liana had a boyfriend. It wasn’t anything too serious, but he came to her and Art’s joint birthday party. Needless to say, Art and Patrick couldn’t stand him. Patrick said he smiled too much, like he wanted everyone to like him. "How can you trust a guy with a smile like that?" he asked for the third time that evening, as they stood there watching Liana talk to her parents with Jake holding her hand. "All his teeth are in place," Art responded. He felt betrayed. He felt as if tennis had betrayed him. If it weren’t for tennis and the boarding school, he would still be going to the same school Liana went to. He wouldn’t take his eyes off her, certainly not for long enough for her to have a boyfriend with a smile like that. "Do you think they’ve fucked?" Patrick asked suddenly, making Art turn his head sharply in his direction. "You think they did?" he asked back. "I don’t know. You know her better. I only talk to her on the phone occasionally," Patrick shrugged. "You talk to her on the phone???" Art asked, unable to process this new information. In his view, there wasn’t an option to talk to Liana unless she came to watch him play or their parents arranged for them to meet. The thought that Patrick and Liana had phone talks and didn’t just meet in the summer made him uncomfortable.

"Yeah, that’s what phones are for, to call people you miss," Patrick chuckled, but quickly returned to the same expression as he watched Liana and the quick kiss her annoying boyfriend gave her. "In front of her dad," they said together. Art knew her dad well. He knew that gesture wasn’t appreciated. "What do you talk to her about on the phone?" He was a bit embarrassed asking. He felt like he was losing to everyone. Losing to Liana, losing to Jake, and worst of all, losing to Patrick. "Just stuff. She called when she got accepted to Stanford, for example. I promised her I’d take her out for ice cream this summer to celebrate. And she said she stole a bottle of wine from her parents and celebrated with her friends," Patrick felt like he was rambling. He knew Liana and Art didn’t talk on the phone. He didn’t want to compete with his best friend because, well, he was his best friend. But Art had a significant advantage with Liana. He’d known her all his life. And if someone with such an advantage wasn’t making the most of it, Patrick had to step in. He had to show Art he was also in the picture. That even if they both went to Stanford, Patrick would still be around.

What none of them considered was that Liana could choose someone else entirely. That someone else might win. Come to think of it, neither of them even saw her that way. She was just Liana, the girl who was always there, in the background of their lives. And neither of them planned to change that anytime soon. Well, anyway, Jake had to disappear.

here it is. Once again, English is not my first language, and it's my first time writing in it. Hope you like it as much as I love writing it. I'd really like to hear your thoughts so don't stop yourselves from hitting the ask box ❤️

[thesugarchanotaku]

Let's talk about Octavia

With the newest helluvaboss episode out and season two cming to an end there was a lot of discussion about Octavio even before the epsiode dropped. That's why i decided to look at her a little more in depth. Spoiler ahead (duh)

My realtionship with Octavia is kinda rookie. I love this asexual queen as much as her dad but find myself a little annoyed at her behaviour sometimes. Let's recap what we know about her.

Octavia is a royal teen, deeply loved by her father, troubled by the divorce of her parents and 17 years old. But if we look past the more obvious characteristics there is a lot going on in subtext.

Octavia is oblivious: Octavia grew up quite sheltered and as much as it is understanable (since they tried to assissinate stolas at loo loo land) that she is well protected the problem is that she has little to no clue about the outside world. Much like her father in the recent episode she is seen being scared of the world in seeing stars. She is THAT unaware that she was walking around without a disguise in broad daylight.

Octavia loves her father: So you might ask where the problem is for that point. She sees Stolas as JUST her father. She fails to see Stolas as a person with needs, wants, dreams and wishes. We have to point out that Octavia is never seen with any other people despite her parents (not counting loona in seeing stars). So it's save To assume that she is quite isolated and ultimately fixated to on her parents.

Octavia lacks comparission: As we grow up we compare. We always do. It helps us to decern right from wrong. The outside world helps us contextualize. Octavia probably never had that. Growing up with mostly her parents she has no other love relationships to look at and compare. Therefore she might not see Stella as an evil person like we do. For us the audiance it is hard to understand why she always puts her mother next to her while talking to Stolas and about the broken "family". But forOctavia Stella is an integral part of her life. (As a mother should be) She has no chance to see the behaviour of her mother as toxic and harmful, because that is how her mother ALWAYS was. Its the only thing Via knows. She cant understand why her father was "fine" with the antics of her mother until a certain point and "suddenly" isnt anymore.

Octavia is a child: That point kinda put me at odds a long time. My parents divorced when i was 12 and I could understand the situation better than her. Octavia is nearly an adult. Most children her age don't want to be that close to their parents, they want to be free, start their own live. Octavia doesn't. She clings to memories, to promises her father made to her and she just feel so so SO young. She tries to be that edgy teen but she feels way more like a child. Which isnt exactly bad but plays a huge part in her character.

Octavia and Stolas

The relationship of father and daugther hit a fallout and it was important that it happened because both characters need to GROW up.

While Stolas never had the chance to grow into his very own charcater due to the fact that his life was planned out for him, he tried to shelter Via from the same fate by protecting her and sacrificing for her. He did basically the other extreme of what he experienced.

Stolas slowly grows into himself, making decisions for himself and realizes that while having the freedom to make decisions for yourself is great, the consequences are yours to bear too. And he just realized how overwhelming these consequences can be in the recent epsiode.

Via on the other hand still needs to grow up. The fallout with her father is over due because stolas isnt JUST her father. She tries to remind him of his role on every step he takes further to himself - his true self.

Octavia needs to finally learn about the world, how healthy relationships look like, and what her father truly did for her. Right now she is angry and dissapointed and from her perspective she has every right to be but she lacks the understanding for her own father. It shows how little she truly knows about the relationship of her parents. She need to question why her father took pills rather than judging him for it. She needs to ask why her mother is so degrading towards him rather than accepting it as a given. She needs to see the true intentions of her uncle and mother rather than overlooking it.

and there clearly is hope. She protected her dad, still called him dad and i belive that if both of them grow and want to mame an effort it can work out. If Via learns more about her parents and the world - if she manages to grow up both father and daughter can grow into a healthy relationship. And if it takes a bruning bridge for now, than so be it but I'm certain that they will find each other again sooner or later.

[alwaysurvalentine]

trick or treat - st fic

Written for day 31 of @steddie-spooktober - prompt: trick or treat - wc: 888 - cw: none! Just lil steddie meeting as kids one halloween :)

enjoy! 💛

There’s a little boy sitting all alone on the curb at the end of the street. Eddie’s walking over before he’s fully made the decision to do so. When he gets closer he can hear the other boy sniffling, shoulders shaking slightly as he stares down at his own knees. A bag lays discarded next to him, only a couple pieces of candy in the bottom. 

“Hello?” Mystery boy shoots his head up fast, eyes wide. He doesn’t say anything, just scrubs at the tears on his cheeks before blinking up at Eddie. It doesn’t look like he’s wearing a costume either, just a white sweater with blue jeans. 

“My name’s Eddie, but tonight I’m Dracula!” Eddie pulls his cape out around him, flashing the red underside to the boy in front of him before doing his best vampire hiss. He’s been practicing for the last couple of weeks in the mirror, it’s pretty scary if you ask him. 

Instead of the fear he expected, the boy in front of him giggles. His giggles get louder and he even snorts. Eddie frowns and crosses his arms, his pillowcase full of candy swinging with the movement and hitting his side. It knocks off his balance enough for him to stumble and the boy laughs harder. 

“If you’re just going to be a meanie then I’m not going to hang out with you!” The laughter abruptly stops. Now he’s stuck looking at tears welling up in the other boys eyes. 

“Please don’t leave me alone. I promise I won’t laugh again.” Part of Eddie still wants to leave, his mama worked really hard on his cape, but the other boy looks so sad so he stays. 

“Fine. Who are you supposed to be anyway?” 

The other boy stands up and brushes off his pants and pulls his sweater down like that’s going to help Eddie figure out who he is. 

“I’m Fred, duh.” Eddie must still look confused because ‘Fred’ rolls his eyes and sighs. “You know, from Scooby Doo? He’s only the coolest person ever.”

“Um, Fred has a cool orange tie thing, I don’t see one of those on you.” ‘Fred’ stomps and crosses his arms with a frown.

“There wasn’t anything orange in my house.” 

“Eddie? Eddie? Where’d you go?” His mama’s voice distracts him and Eddie turns to see her further up the road turning every which way to try and find him. She’s wearing a long white dress and it swirls side to side as she turns. Eddie doesn’t know how she did it, but there’s also white streaks in her hair, which look cool even if she couldn’t get her hair to stand up like Frankenstein’s bride in the movie.

“Mama!” Elizabeth turns at his call and rushes through the small crowd between them. 

“I thought I told you not to wander off, mister!” She might be scolding him, but there’s a relived smile on his mom’s face when she crouches to see at his level. 

“Sorry, Mama. I just saw him sitting all by himself and I thought he might be lost. Are you lost?” The other boy just blinks at Eddie and his mom when they turn to him, eyes wide as he bends to pick up his almost empty candy bag.

“You could’ve told me that so we could walk over together. Who’s your new friend?” His mom stands and offers a smile up to the other boy.

“Uh, I-I’m Steve.” 

“Well, Steve, do you know where your parents are? I’m sure they’re worried about you.” Steve kicks at the ground and shakes his head. Eddie turns towards the street again, looking for any other adults like his mama, searching for the boy in front of him. Instead he sees different kids running up to houses, bags extended in front of them, with their parents watching from the road.

“Do you want help finding them?” Elizabeth’s voice is gentle at the suggestion, but Steve stumbles with how quickly he backs up. 

“No, it’s okay. I know which house is mine. They said I could come out here. I promise.” A pinkie is held out to Eddie, like he’s waiting to have to swear to the two of them that he’s telling the truth. 

Eddie believes him but still loops his pinkie with Steve’s with a grin. It’s so cool that Steve’s parents let him out on Halloween by himself, that means he gets to eat all kinds of candy before he gets home without getting in trouble. His mama’s only let him have two pieces for the night and said he has to save the rest for later. Especially the Reece’s, since those are Uncle Wayne’s favorite. When he looks up though, his mom isn’t smiling. Instead she’s got the same frown on that she gets when they pass by the neighbor’s dog tied to the tree. Before he can ask her why, she claps and turns towards Eddie with a wink. 

“How do we feel about Steve joining us for trick or treating? Looks like he has plenty of space in his bag for some candy.” Eddie’s nodding before she finishes talking, turning to see a matching smile on Steve’s face. 

“Really? I can come with you?”

“’Course you can, Fred. I’ll show you all the best houses. Let’s go!"

~

I kept thinking about writing more, but I think I'm gonna leave it as it is. Up to you on how their Halloween adventures go! (More than happy to discuss my ideas tho 👀 might have thought up some angsty stuff for this one but held back)

[daytaker]

Sins, Virtues, and Motivations: A Critical Analysis of Characters in Shall We Date?: Obey Me!

In this essay, I will argue that each demon brother some of the demon brothers can be associated with a sin (no duh), a virtue, and a core motivation--and that this motivation is best pursued through a synthesis of that sin and that virtue. Hegel would be very proud. Yes, this is critical media analysis. No, I will not try to explain the twisted, broken path that led me to this point in my life.

I will be looking at Lucifer, Mammon, and Levi in this study. Their core sins are obvious - Pride, Greed, and Envy. Their accompanying Virtues and Motivations are listed below.

I used the Seven Heavenly Virtues for this little game. These are Prudence, Justice, Fortitude, Temperance, Faith, Hope, and Charity.

They should not be confused with the Seven Capital Virtues, which are inversions of the Seven Deadly Sins. These are Humility, Charity, Kindness, Patience, Chastity, Temperance, and Diligence. I tried these first and damn were none of them easy to match up. Tell me, fandom for this mobile game designed for players to lust over hot demon men, which brother should have the "chastity" virtue?

Lucifer

Core Sin: Pride. Core Virtue: Fortitude. Core Motivation: To protect his family.

Lucifer's core motivation is to protect his brothers. He looks at this as a sort of penance for the outcome of the Great Celestial War. He knows that he's the reason they rebelled, and he feels responsible for their wellbeing. He is able to endure the relentless pressure of the responsibilities he puts on himself thanks to his core virtue, fortitude.

Fortitude is strongly associated with courage. Specifically, it is courage in the face of pain and adversity. We see him displaying this trait any time those he cares for are in jeopardy, and it often helps him make difficult decisions where neither outcome is ideal. Lucifer is decisive, canny, and accepts the consequences of his choices, good or bad.

His driving motivation is also bolstered by his core sin: pride. He views himself as ultra-competent, while his brothers consistently make mistakes; beyond that, it's only natural that he take responsibility for the choices of his brothers (like the choice to join him in rebelling) because he is so significant an influence as to virtually rob them of their autonomy.

This has led to Lucifer having a somewhat toxic relationship with his brothers. Lucifer often acts as a parental figure rather than a peer, while the rest of them are all in arrested development of some sort, often acting more like kids than the adults they insist they are.

Lucifer either doesn't recognize that by doing everything for the family on his own, he's stemming their ability to grow and learn, or he does know the consequences of what he's doing and he feels conflicted about it. He ultimately blames himself for the fact that they're all in the Devildom in the first place, living as avatars of sins to the extent that they struggle to function as independent adults.

So, while fortitude and pride allow Lucifer to simulate the act of protecting his family, it's a matter of perspective whether controlling every element of their lives is protection or harmful coddling.

Mammon

Core Sin: Greed. Core Virtue: Charity. Core Motivation: To be valued and valuable.

Mammon is simultaneously a vessel of greed and its inverse, charity. This is because his core motivation is twofold, and those are the rewards of greed and charity; to be valued - to fulfill a want, to be desired, to look flippin' cool - and to be valuable - to fulfill a need, to have inherent worth, to serve a purpose.

Setting aside his unhealthy relationship with money, let's examine how Mammon behaves and what his deeper interpersonal motivations tend to be. He clearly places a high value on his brothers and MC, and he has shown on multiple occasions that he is willing to put himself at risk to help or protect them. Early on in both the original game and in NightBringer, Mammon attempts to heroically rescue MC (and his younger brothers, in NightBringer). In both cases, though, Lucifer shows up and does it for him. Mammon's pursuit of his core motivation clashes with Lucifer's quest for his, and Lucifer is strong enough to simply take it from him. Although in NightBringer he and his brothers do earn the not-insubstantial reward of the title "Lords of the Underworld" after Lucifer's rescue, he appeared so dejected by Lucifer's oneupmanship that he spent a good portion of the next day sulking. In the original game, Mammon wants MC to promise that they won't be saved by anyone else besides him in the future. It appears that his greed for an improved status in his interpersonal relationships is left unfulfilled.

Mammon wants to be heroic - to be valuable - and he wants to be admired for it - to be valued. The cognitive dissonance that accompanies motivations like these is all that sustains a person with such a diminished sense of self-worth.

Speaking of a diminished sense of self worth...

Leviathan

Core Sin: Envy. Core Virtue: Hope. Core Motivation: To find joy in the things that give him joy.

Confusing motivation? Yes it is. But envy is a confusing sin. All the other sins--pride, greed, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth--are enjoyable to indulge on some level. Losing your temper when you feel you've been wronged, or eating a bunch of delicious food, or sleeping through the snooze alarm: We know why we do those things. We might regret them later, but we indulge them in the moment because of the enjoyable side.

There is nothing enjoyable about envy. Wanting something that isn't yours, that belongs to someone else, be it tangible goods, talents, a partner, a job... is nauseating. And it makes you feel like a bad person, and it drains the joy out of things that you used to love. Speaking from personal experience for a second, when I was a teenager, I played music in a company with a much younger musician who was incredibly talented, and I was deeply envious of her. I wanted her talent; I wanted the praise she received; I wanted to impress people; I wanted what she had. But there was nothing I could do. I hated feeling that way, but I couldn't shake it. And it ate away at my desire to play music. It took the joy out of something that once gave me joy.

You see the connection?

Levi struggles to find pleasure in anything he does, despite how many interests he has, because, in spite of his blustering dismissal of all things "normie", he is deeply envious of those he perceives as his social superiors. Now, I am not in any way saying that Levi is or would be an inc3l, but there's an element of his character that has a strong parallel to inc3l culture. The idea that there is something fundamentally wrong with him that prevents him from achieving what he wants socially and that the only way he can protect himself from those who would ridicule him is with a defensive contempt for the group that rejects him... Does any of that sound familiar?

But Levi is not an inc3l. No, not because you're willing to **** him and his two *****, though I'm sure that helps. It's because he has his core virtue: hope.

Have you ever heard of the black pill? It's kind of like the final stage of inc3l culture, where you accept that you're not an alpha male, you'll never be one, you'll never be accepted by a woman, you're ugly and unloveable, and you might as well just stop existing. It is sheer despair.

Levi maintains hope for the future, even if he prefers not to admit it out of fear of jinxing himself. He is able to form a deep bond with MC, who he views as a "normie", without renouncing his hobbies or being mocked for them. In fact, I would argue that the anxiety Levi sometimes displays over the possibility of being made fun of (for example, in NightBringer when he considers trying out cosplay) is emblematic of the hope he has that he can be accepted.

"But wait, daytaker," you say. "That doesn't sound like he's making progress towards his core motivation of getting joy out of the things that bring him joy! Being self conscious is not joyful!" Well, you're right. What Levi needs is to somehow find the right balance between enjoying his hobbies and allowing himself to enjoy other people as well. As we can see from his effusive excitement in sharing his favorite games and stories with MC and his brothers, the social component of media consumption is a major component in making it enjoyable. If Levi loses hope, he loses that connection to the world offline, and if he loses that connection, he loses the joy.

@blackstqr (I did it.)

[the-froschamethyst4]

Feliz Navidad

𖤐 Pairing: Husband! Alejandro x Wife! Reader

𖤐 Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐 Warnings: fluff, strong language, married couple, children, family arguing, Christmas Party, kissing, drinking, italics=Spanish, some badly translated Spanish, protective Alejandro, disrespectfulness,

𖤐 Summary: Alejandro and his wife and kids are going to his family's annual Christmas Party, it is always so huge, and everyone is having a good time. Kids doing their gift exchange and the adults get to play White Elephant which is always a blast.

—————

——————

10:00AM

Alejandro was getting his kids ready as Y/n his wife was getting the last bit of tamales ready. She cooked probably THOUSANDS of tamales for the big family.

She had volunteered to make the tamales for the family, but never again, she has spend 4 days making tamales, the first few days she was in the dark on making them and had to spend the last two days rushing.

Alejandro came downstairs holding their youngest in his arms as his two oldest ran to their mami.

"MAMI!" They yelled.

"Santiago, Maria," she smiles, bending down and kissing her two oldest kids. "You two look so cute in your sweaters."

"Papi, dressed us," Maria says.

"And you look so cute, both of you," she stood up and looked at her husband and youngest. She walked to him taking the baby from his arms. "You look so goofy," she says, looking at Alejandro.

"What do you mean? I like my sweater."

"Boats and Hoes?"

"What's a hoe?" Maria asked, looking at her parents.

"Ho, ho, ho, duh Maria, Santa."

"Yes," Alejandro agreed, knowing that's not what it means.

"Go put on a different one, your mother will also throw a fit."

"She's use to it," Alejandro says. Walking away to go change. She looked down at her baby and kissed her puffy cheek. "Come on, babies let's get to packing the car."

-------

12:30PM

Arriving at Alejandro's parents house, the kids ran inside to their cousins, Alejandro carried the baby and some presents as Y/n carried the tamales.

"MAMA!" Alejandro yells.

"ALEJANDRO, Y/N! It's lovely to see you," she says, helping Y/n with the food. She even pulled Y/n to meet some of Alejandro's cousins she's never met before.

Alejandro went to go find his kids and give them the presents to put under the tree and then afterwards to go find all the men which they were all downstairs.

He was given a glass of hard whiskey as they played pool, poker or watched the football game going on.

When Alejandro first introduced Y/n to his family, they were strict on speaking ONLY Spanish at the house, but now meeting Y/n, they all learned English just for her when she came over and Y/n had picked up a little Spanish to impress Alejandro's mom, his dad already loved Y/n.

Y/n had a glass of wine and laughed and gossiped with the Vargas ladies.

"I heard Mario is bring a new girl."

"Ugh! What is this number 50 or something?"

"She won't last 4 weeks."

"Whatever that's forever, I say 2 weeks," the ladies were all making bets on the eldest cousin of Alejandro's family, Mario, he's probably had more girlfriends then they could count and they all barely make it to week 3.

"Y/n, you've met some of his girlfriends, what do you say?" They all looked at her as Y/n hesitated if she should even give her own opinion.

"Oh, umm~ I'm not sure..." she was thinking. "Maybe 2 weeks?"

"See, even she agrees."

"Mami, can we go outside?" Maria and Santiago ran up to their mom, as their older cousins were getting up and ready to go out, they just waited by the front door for them two.

"Yes, but be careful."

"Eh! Sebastián watch over your younger cousins!!" Sebastián's mother, Carmen yelled.

"I KNOW MA!" He yells from the front door as all the cousins ran out the front door once Maria and Santiago got their shoes on.

"Mmm~"

"Oh, mama Y/n, your baby's waking up," Alejandro's mother held the baby in her arms and when the baby woke up she passed her to Y/n.

She placed her wine down on the table in front of her and took her baby.

"She's probably hungry, excuse me for a minute."

"Take your time," Alejandro's mom said as Y/n went to an empty bedroom and just cracked the door behind her. She sits on the bed and lifts her shirt.

---------

Alejandro was standing by the pool table talking with his uncle Luis, he worked for an airline and liked to travel, he just came back from Japan and was able to walk around Japan for a while.

"Alejandro." Alejandro's cousin Dante interrupted.

"Yeah?"

"Mario's here with his new girl," Alejandro rolled his eyes and excused himself to go upstairs, some of the other guys followed to go meet girl number 50.

As they got up there, Alejandro immediately looked around for Y/n but didn't see her.

"Ma-?"

"She's upstairs feeding the baby," he nodded and went upstairs to go find Y/n. He could see a door just cracked and light coming from inside the room.

He smiles knowing she's in there. He gently knocks scaring her a little as she was too focused on the baby, she looks up seeing the door slightly open.

"Hey, mi amor."

"Oh Alejandro, you scared me."

"Sorry." He chuckles. Coming to sit next to her.

"She was just hungry."

"Where the kids?"

"Outside, I heard Mario's here."

"Yeah, I haven't seen him, yet, I wanted to come find you first." He says, leaning forward and kissing her neck.

"She woke up from her nap," she yawned but smiled when he kissed her neck.

Alejandro's hand went to the back of the baby's head and just watched her take in Y/n's milk. He's done this before when Maria and Santiago were babies, he likes the feeling of his big hand taking in their small heads.

Alejandro and Y/n looked up when they could hear downstairs get a little loud.

"They're probably arguing," Alejandro says.

"What's a Classic Vargas Christmas party without an argument," Y/n says as Alejandro chuckled and shook his head, knowing she was right.

"Yeah, I'll be downstairs, I'll let you finish up," he kissed her lips and left the bedroom, cracking the door behind him and heading downstairs.

Low-in-behold, Y/n was right, Alejandro's mom and Mario's mother yelling at Mario for bringing home a girl they disapprove of.

"IT'S NO DIFFERENT THEN HIM BRING HER INTO THE HOUSE!!" He was talking about Alejandro and Y/n.

"Y/N IS DIFFERENT-"

"NO, SHE'S NOT!"

"WATCH IT, MARIO! WATCH WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT MY WIFE!!" Alejandro jumps in.

"I think it's best if you leave, Mario."

"No way, I wanna stay, I wanna stay and do the classic family things, I'm not leaving, where's the fucking booze," Mario stormed off downstairs as his clueless girlfriend was left at the front door facing both moms and Alejandro.

"Where should I put the burritos?"

"Eh dios mio (oh my god)." Mario's mother says as she walked away.

---------

Alejandro went back downstairs and saw Mario starting to pick fights with their uncles and other cousins.

"Mario, why don't you settle down?"

"Yeah, with a nice young woman or something."

"You've been at this for too long, it's sad really."

"Yeah, Alejandro's done it, he has a beautiful wife and 3 kids with her, settle down Mario, you don't to be hoeing around."

"It's fun, and I can sleep with whoever I want to, Uncle Daniel," Mario says as he chugs some more liquor.

Speaking of, Y/n was walking downstairs with Dante, holding the railing and her baby girl in her arms.

"Alejandro-"

"Ohhh~ speaking of which," some of the men cooed at Y/n as she just blushed and Alejandro waved them off and flipped some off as he blocked Y/n from their view.

"Yes, mi amor?"

"Mi amor~," the men mocked Alejandro. He just smirks and shook his head of embarrassment.

"Come on, let's go upstairs," Alejandro rushed back upstairs.

"Your mom just asked if I could get you for her."

"Oh okay, come on."

As they came around the corner kids started to run at them almost knocking Alejandro over as they crowded Y/n with the baby in her arms, they all asked to see the baby since they didn't get to before. She took them to the couches to sit and get a better look at the baby.

Alejandro's mom wanted him to start making plates for the guys downstairs. Placing tamales on a big tray and sending him down there with the big tray.

"You couldn't get dad to do this?" Alejandro groaned.

"He's old and you're young and strong," she says.

"What about Dante? He's fucking 9 years younger than me!"

"You know I hate that language, Alejandro, go give them their food."

"This is ridiculous," he rolls his eyes.

"Could I help?" Mario's girlfriend asked.

"Eh? No, no, we got it from here," Alejandro's mother said, walking away.

----------

"Y/n, how old is she?"

"3 months."

"How come we couldn't see her last time?"

"I'm not sure."

"Can I hold her?"

"Yes, be very careful with her."

"My mami says babies don't drink formula or water, so what does she drink?"

"Umm~ You know what, you should ask your mami," Y/n says with a smile.

"Y/n, would you like to eat?" Alejandro's mother asked form the kitchen.

"Oh, yes. Just a minute please."

"Sure."

"Can I have her back?"

"Yes," they gave the baby back to Y/n and she stood up from the crowd of children and walked to the kitchen getting a plate of her tamales and the other family members food.

"Y/n, these tamales....are the BEST!"

"Really? I hope so, I spent so long on them."

"I sent you the recipe didn't I?" Alejandro's mother says.

"You did and I followed it, but either I messed up on the filling or I accidently overcooked them or undercooked them, but then I had Alejandro help me a little bit and got them just right." Y/n explained.

"My mami, knows how to cook," Maria says, coming into the kitchen to get her plate.

"Yes, yes she does."

"Could I do the tamale next year?" Mario's girlfriend.

"Who's going to tell her, she's not even going to make it week 2 with Mario?" One of Alejandro's cousins whispered to the family and just gave her an awkward smile.

-------

"Alright kids, lets do the gift exchange!" Alejandro's mother yelled from the living room and within minutes the kids came piling in.

"Okay, get in a circle, grab your presents you came in with and when the music plays you pass it around we do it two times and then when the music stops, whatever present you have is what you get!"

It's a fun little game the kids played, Alejandro's family started it at a random time when Alejandro was only 4 years-old and now is more of a tradition with the kids.

Mario scoffs when the last time Mario did it before he was deemed too old, his last gift was from Alejandro. Alejandro had spent his chores money on an expensive gift and when it came to the gift exchange, Mario got it and through a fit about it, being fucking ungrateful. Which hurt Alejandro's feelings that maybe he shouldn't have spent his money on a nice gift for one of his cousins.

Alejandro and Y/n stood by the fireplace watching the kids exchange the gifts. Y/n held the baby in her arms as she was WAY too young to play.

Everyone smiled when the kids showed so much excitement on what they got, no one was ungrateful and they all loved the toys they received.

"Mami, look I got a Barbie!" Maria says, running towards her parents showing off her new toys as Santiago was opening up his new RC toy car ready to race it around the house with his cousins who also got some RC cars.

"Go on kids, go play with your new toys," Alejandro's parents shoo the kids away so the adults could do the white elephant.

Alejandro had brought some expensive whiskey as Y/n bought an old top to a whiskey barrel with a 'V' on it and colored with the Mexican Flag colors behind it, it looked beautiful.

"Okay, who got 1?"

"I did," Y/n held hers up to prove it. Either they groaned or all cheered for her. She stood up from the couch passing the baby to Alejandro and picked out her gift.

The wrapping was done nice and neatly and to opened up and saw some old whiskey, she thought she might have grabbed Alejandro's gift but his dad quickly spoke up saying it was his gift, his mom playfully smacking his chest.

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO TELL!" She yells at him as they all laughed.

"Wow, that's so expensive."

"Yeah, I spent half my paycheck on it."

"Papi, you shouldn't have done that," Alejandro told his dad.

"I wanted to, it's a special occasion for my family." He cheered as the family smiled at him.

"Who has 2?"

"Me," Mario showed his number and stood up snatching a gift from under the tree. He unwraps the gift and Y/n knows it's her gift.

"What the fuck is this?" Mario asked raising it up. Everyone in the room loved the old barrel lid and seeing their nations flag colors.

"That's beautiful."

"This is ugly and tacky as hell. Whoever has 3 come steal this, I don't want it." Y/n felt hurt when he said all of that, she looked down at the bottle of whiskey in her hands and felt tears wanting to fall from her eyes.

She felt Alejandro's hand on her knee making her look up at him, his jaw was clenched and she could barely see anger in his eyes, he was trying to stay calm for his family.

"You don't want honor where you came from?" Mario's mother says.

"Nope, hey Alejandro, you're an ass kisser right? Come take this."

Alejandro gave the baby back to Y/n. He stood up and walked to Mario as calmly as possible but he snatches Mario's collared shirt and bring him off the couch.

"ALEJANDRO!" His parents, Uncles, cousins and Y/n all rushed to him, so he doesn't hurt Mario even though everyone deeply wishes he would.

"If you came here to be a dick and an asshole, then you shouldn't have come," he drops him back on the couch and snatches the barrel lid from Mario.

"I was number 3," Alejandro says, sitting on the couch placing the lid next to his legs and leaning back against the couch cushions and crossing his arms over his chest being angry with Mario and he felt his blood boiling.

"Mario....the rules state-"

"I'm fucking leaving, come on Bella," Mario says, grabbing his coat and keys and his girlfriend followed.

All Alejandro did when he left was give him the biggest death stare and looked away to his family.

"Since number 2 is gone, I guess Alejandro you're number 2 now."

"Good," he sounded gruff.

-------

5:00PM

The adults just got done with white elephant and the kids were still playing with their toys. Alejandro looked at what he got from the white elephant it was a present from his aunt.

It was a whiskey glass set, they were expensive and very nice looking and he knows he'll have some good use out of them. He sat on the couch and felt his right side dip down.

"Alejandro?"

"Was I too harsh on him?"

"Alejandro, you did what you had to." Y/n says.

"I know...but I'm so fucking tired of him coming to these family advent and acts like a spoiled brat and ungrateful bastard."

"I understand, Alejandro...should we...go home?"

"No, no, I want to enjoy the party some more...I'm not going to let this one thing make the rest of the party miserable."

"Okay, come on, your mom has brought out some desserts."

"Alright," he kisses her lips and stood up walking back to the kitchen.

"Y/n this will look nice over the fireplace," Alejandro's mother says.

"Yes, it will, I hope I did good."

"You did, it's beautiful," Y/n was pulled into a hug by her.

Alejandro smiled at his mom and wife and then went to the counter to get come cake.

-------

9:55PM

"Mami, I'm tired."

"Yeah, can we go home?"

"Yes, my loves, we have to say bye to everyone."

"Okay."

Santiago and Maria gave their cousins some tired goodbyes and gave hugs and kisses to their Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents.

Poor Maria was so tired she even walked up to Alejandro and told him goodbye not realizing it was her daddy.

"Alright, come on, Princesa (Princess), let's get you to the car, so you can go to bed." He said as he picked her up.

"BYE EVERYONE!!"

"BYE!"

"DRIVE SAFE!"

Alejandro was driving home as his family were all asleep in the car. He tried his best to avoid all of the potholes and bumps, so they can all sleep soundly.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

Chaotic Dumbassery (Soft Yandere!Friend x Thembo!Reader)

I know I haven't been working on people's submissions, prioritizing kinktober, but I'm having a really tough time and need some light humor in my life

GN!Reader, mild manipulation, mostly fluff ❤️

Hughie was labeled as a "genius" early on in his childhood. At the age of five his parents were already discussing with the local elementary school about starting him off in a higher grade. Despite all of the praises Hughie received from adults, their compliments felt hollow, and the more they pushed him to accelerate his growth realize his potential, the further he felt isolated from the people around him. Emotionally, it was like being trapped as an exhibit in a zoo. They all smiled down at him and cooed, but he could not feel them.

Then, Hughie met (Reader).

Wasting his summer before school began, his parents inside speaking to teachers about letting Hughie skip kindergarten, no one noticed when he slipped out, wandering the empty halls to the playground, where surprisingly a child was playing in the dirt with their parent sitting nearby.

Fat little fingers were poking into the dirt beneath a tree, filling the holes with seeds. Hughie often had no problem speaking to adults, but he didn't have many opportunities to interact with other kids his own age. Nervous to the point of nausea, he approached the kid, gripping his ugly grey polo aggressively enough to stretch out the shirt.

"What are you doing?"

The kid covered in dirt wearing a pizza sauce stained Batman shirt looked up at Hughie with excitement so powerful he could physically feel it burning his face like sun beams. "Planting bird seeds!"

"Oh. Why?"

"To grow birds. Duh." They went back to poking holes and planting the seeds.

The little boy with black curly hair was shocked. He didn't know everything about reproduction, but he knew that birds came from eggs. It was the first time he had ever heard something so preposterous, and it kind of stupefied him. Crouching down to get closer to the strange little kid, Hughie felt star struck. "I don't think that's how birds are made."

"Yuh-huh! Whenever Granny throws seeds out, birds grow, and then in the morning they fly away "

"I think they eat the seeds.."

(Reader's) eyes went wide, dropping their fistful of bird food while whipping around to face Hughie. "Huh?"

"Birds come from eggs."

Standing up quickly, Hughie could see that the kid's knees were covered in bandaids, something he never really needed. They looked down at him like he just told them that Santa wasn't real. "What?!" Before he could reiterate his answer Hughie's arm was grabbed by the much stronger stranger, dragging him over towards the woman sitting on the bench. "Mom!"

"Yes?" The woman smiled with heavy, exhausted eyes.

"Do birds come from eggs?!"

"Yes? Why?"

(Reader) dropped Hughie's hand, their brain malfunctioning under the new information. Hughie started to worry that maybe he had upset them, that maybe he shouldn't have told them the truth, when they suddenly grabbed him by his shoulders, violently shaking him. "What is your name, smarty pants?!"

"Hu-Hughie!" The wild swaying of his head affecting his speech.

"I'm (Reader)! You wanna go catch crickets?"

"Sure-"

"Hughie!" His father's voice cut him off, the smartly dressed man finally finding his son and descending onto the playground. "Don't disappear like that."

"I'm sorry."

"Let's go back inside. The teachers have some questions for you." He said excitedly, motioning towards the school.

Hughie felt a sense of dread. He was smart, really smart, which meant that he knew if he passed the tests waiting for him, he wouldn't be able to be in a class with kids his own age. Which meant that he wouldn't be able to make friends.

"No."

Hughie latched onto (Reader), and decided to act his own age.

"I want to go catch crickets with (Reader)!"

"Yeah!" (Reader) replied, glaring up at the stranger as sassily as a five year old could.

Although that interaction ended with (Reader's) mother apologizing, holding back her child from kicking the man in his shins, and Hughie's father carrying him kicking and crying up to the classroom, it was ended in Hughie's favor. He purposely failed his tests, and when school started up, he was placed in the same kindergarten as (Reader).

The two became inseparable, much to his parents' dismay.

It only got worse as they got older, and even the teachers took notice of Hughie's "double life".

By the last year of middle school, Hughie already proved himself smart enough to get his GED and be enrolled in any university of his choice. But (Reader) didn't know that.

Hughie's mother sighed heavily, finding (Reader) on her doorstep. Hey disdain for the teenager wasn't concealed in the slightest, but it didn't phase (Reader).

"Mornin', Mrs. G! I'm here to pick up the H-bomb."

"I could drive you two." She grimaced. "It's dangerous for two children to walk to school."

"Oh, we won't be walking." (Reader) smiled.

Hughie rushed past his mom, smiling just as brightly as (Reader). "'Sup!"

"Please let me drive you-"

"Bye Mom!" Hughie cut her off, giving her a warning glance before bouncing back to his reflection of (Reader's) joyful attitude. "Let's go, (Reader)."

The two friends ran down to (Reader's) homemade "scooter", an extra wide plank of thin wood with wheels screwed on, painted with flames. It was made by (Reader) and their mom to have enough space for at least three teenagers to comfortably ride, four if they squish together tightly and held on for dear life. It was a hazard, and Hughie loved it.

He loved everything about (Reader), actually. Since he began purposefully fucking up his grades just enough to never get moved up, he had made a good friend group, a group a guys that were a lot of fun to get into trouble with, but his best friend was (Reader). Many people joked that the two were already an old married couple, which (Reader) leaned into, completely unaware of Hughie's feelings. It was strange. And he couldn't explain it to anyone.

(Reader) was his best friend; a sibling; a partner in crime; and someone Hughie recently found himself wanting to kiss silly.

They rode down the sidewalk at top speeds, bumping over rocks dangerously. Hughie wanted to wrap his arms around their waist but couldn't until they picked up their other buds. They stopped by Brody's house, watching him run away from his wooden spoon wielding Grandma, then at Everett's, which finally allowed Hughie the excuse of hugging (Reader). It didn't matter if Brody clung to him similarly; just as long as he was the only one holding (Reader).

The four idiots of Jackson Middle School traveled faster than any of the cooler students on skateboards, speeding recklessly with the force of four teenagers pushing the wooden beast.

Teachers and parents gave disapproving sneers as they barely stopped in time to prevent themselves from crashing into the arriving school buses. Mr. Stone especially.

(Reader) dragged the transportation over to the bicycle rack laughing with Hughie over the fear in the bus driver's eyes when they nearly collided into the side of the bus.

"I don't know why she was so mad, it's not like we were gonna damage the bus!" Brody loudly complained, arms behind his head.

No, it was because we could have gotten hurt. Hughie smiled, not voicing his thoughts out loud. (Reader) wouldn't have this kind of fun with him if they knew that this wasn't his real personality. Calm and studious, Hughie naturally didn't enjoy being outside. He was a nerd at heart, and would prefer reading in solitude to participating in sports. But he would do anything to spend more time with (Reader).

Mr. Stone appeared before the quartet, smiling tightly. "May I have a word, Mr. Gressler?"

(Reader) stuck a finger in their nose. "Huh? He's not on the clock yet."

Everett rolled back his shoulders too try to look bigger. "Yeah, we haven't had breakfast yet."

"I'll catch up with you guys." Hughie waved at them, shooing them away. They left for the cafeteria, still making snarky remarks towards their teacher.

As soon as they were out of sight Hughie's face changed, losing all of his good humor and patience. "What did you want to talk about, Mr. Stone." His teacher's name tasted bitter, so he spit it out.

"Let's go to the principal's office."

They quickly walked through the halls, irritating Hughie. He knew what this was about, and he wasn't interested in the slightest.

Once inside the office, Mr. Stone closed the door, trapping Hughie inside with the grinning older Principal Wells. "Please, have a seat, Hughie." She offered politely.

"No thanks. I need to go to breakfast, so I'd like to make this quick." His hands were in his pockets, and his body leaning on one leg, emphasizing his boredom.

Mr. Stone cleared his throat. "We've been talking about moving your classes around.."

"Why?" His cracking voice snapped.

"We've noticed that.. I believe that your friends aren't the best influence on you." Stone took a deep breath, looking to the principal for assistance.

"After speaking to your teachers I learned that you do exceptionally well when you aren't paired up with one of your friends. If it's a test, or a solo project, your work is incredible. No matter what the subject is, you exceed in every class.. but when you have a project you have to present to a class, in your classes you have with a student named (Reader), you disrupt the day by presenting very odd topics. And when you work with (Reader), you mess around the entire time or create chaos." The principal was referring to two specific instances; Hughie's presentation on how WW2 was responsible for the creation of hentai, and the science fair project he worked on with (Reader) trying to prove that Birds weren't real. Both times he chose the topics just to see (Reader's) face light up.

"Hugh, you're an incredibly bright young man. We want to see you excel." Mr. Stone pleaded.

"I'm not moving up. I'm staying in my classes. We haven't caused any major disruptions that could have interfered with other students learning, and may I remind you that we both got an A minus on that science fair project?" He turned to leave, done with dealing with adults he knew he was smarter than. "And if you move around my classes, I'll go to the superintendent, and the school board. You're discriminating against my fellow students because you believe them to be stupid."

"We never said-"

"I'm not an idiot. They're bad examples on me because we have fun? That isn't the argument you think it is."

"Mr. Gressler, come back here-"

"Unless I'm in trouble, then no. You aren't allowed to prevent me from having breakfast. And if you continue I'll call my mother." Hughie was cold, indifferent. He knew what they were saying, but it was the exact same shit he'd been hearing since he was three years old. He's special, so he's not allowed to act his age.

He left the office and stomped towards the cafeteria. He knew they wouldn't stop embarrassing themselves, but he also refused to back down.

Inside the lunch hall, (Reader) was having a battle with the boys, construction French toast sticks into action figures with pretzel sticks. The sight of (Reader) focused on the fight made Hughie feel funny, releasing an eruption of butterflies. It was okay if he continued lying to his friends, because he could continue playing with them like this.

"Dude, I got you some!" (Reader) held out a plate. They had no idea how much Hughie loved them.

His smile fell, feeling suddenly very hot.

"Dude, you okay?" Everett asked out of concern. "Did you get in trouble or something?"

Hughie couldn't answer, taking the plate silently while avoiding eye contact. Quickly shoving in pretzel crackers like nails, he constructed his own breakfast warrior. "FEEL MY WRATH, LOSERS!"

The friends instantly forgot about their worrying, watching as Hughie's creation punched (Reader's) creation's head off.

It was okay if Hughie kept pretending to be a dumbass, because it was more fun that way. He would gladly sacrifice his entire future to fuck around with (Reader) for the rest of his life. He could see himself, in the future, sharing an apartment with his three amigos, working at some dead end job, playing video games every night after work. It would be better than if he went off to some college and became a lawyer.

If only he could ignore the erratic beating of his heart.

[pasta-artz]

Pov: your ex best friend and his lil gang get rid of ur parent's memories while ur big sister and the other trusted adults you know are gone so you use what he taught you against him and make it out to piss him off every chance you get bc you're salty lol

WAOHHH IM ALIVE? is this fandom alive? I hope so....ANYWAYS TANGLED OC WHATT⁉️

ANYWAYS this is my oc, what's her name⁉️ hell if I know LMAO, Drop the name suggestions below 😎

Anyways yapping undercut

SEASON 1

Anyways she's Rapunzel's younger sister, was sorta isolated cause her parents were a bit paranoid after having their first child kidnapped yadayada ermm Cassandra used to train her in like fighting and stuff cause yk self defense....she's sorta like shy cause well she didn't go out that often

Gets along well with Rapunzel, kinda sus abt Eugene but he saved her sister so she's like ehh whatever, befriends Varian and is super excited cause she gets her first friend her age!! Ermm he talks a lot of Alchemy cause duh, and she listens and let's him info dump, gives him access to the royal library super fun or whatevrrrr

Then when the whole thing with his dad happens, she's like "omg BRB lemme see if I can find any books or smth to help!! Don't leave!" He leaves...or sorta gets kicked out ykyk

She sorta gets upset with Rapunzel cause well...yeah..anyways when Varian returns she's like "omg bestie I'm sorry" and he's all yk, she notices he's acting a bit sus but along with Rapunzel helps him out... BOOM BETRAYAL, they fist fight /hj

Anyways Rapunzel's birthday‼️Oc is sorta just sulking cause she lost her bestie for life, but she's also not given up on trying to figure out a way to help her ex best friend...sigh ANYWAYS she gangs up with Rapunzel against their dad...BOOM THEY GET GROUNDEDDDD

Gang helps break her out too, she's all angy towards her ex bestie but also wants to talk to him cause she doesn't wanna fight him again 😞 but yknow fog thingy happens and she uses what he taught her to help fight but then she's like "OMG YALL this is a distraction‼️‼️" for what? She doesn't know what but she knows Varian well enough to know this is to keep everyone busy. And yk boom mother dearest gets kidnapped.

Anyways everyone gets ready to go and fist fight broski, and while Rapunzel and her dad go up to confront Varian they're like "okay you stay here cause your too young and too close to Varian" and she's all angy abt that too but does as told. Anyways varian comes out with his giant robot and she's able to fight him off a bit while Rapunzel figures out the rocks and delivers the final blow and yk that happens...THEN BOOM VARIAN GOES TO JAILLL yolo

ANDDD SEASON 2

She doesn't go with the gang cause she's still hung up abt Varian and in the beginning she goes to visit Varian in jail, but he kinda shuts her out which she doesn't blame him for. This I added myself but Varian spends his birthday in JAIL and she goes and is like "I brought you cake" and they kinda start talking but then it blows up into a fight and that's when she stops visiting him...sad

Anyways he and the other guys I forgot their names break out of prison, make her parents lose their memories abt her an Rapunzel and she sneaks out before they can find out, she sorta starts up a rebellion but a hidden one and occasionally appears to save ppl or break em outta prison and to also piss off Varian lol

And yes she uses what she learned from him against him bc she's petty...

SEASON 3

She helps the gang during their fight and explains what's beeb happening while they were gone, Varian redemption arc happens but she's sorta has trust issues now cause remember Varian was her first friend ever and he wants to befriend her again but she's kinda barely even talking to him

During the red rocks episode Rapunzel tries to push her to trust Varian again and after an emotional moment and when Varian is having doubt and yk fear, she talks to him, yk besties make up and they're friends again

This season would mostly be abt them rekindling their friendship and stuff BUT YEAHHH‼️‼️

they're sillies and I love em sm :>>

If anyone has any questions feel free to ask ❤️

(Yes she's in VAT7K but that's for another time)

[nerdygaymormon]

Bishops Council

In my stake, twice a quarter the bishops get together with the stake presidency. I typically do not attend this meeting, but stake president invited me to come since one of the bishops had added "counsel with LGBT youth" as an agenda item.

The stake president has a gay son and is fully capable of speaking to this, but I appreciate that he wanted to include the point of view of someone who is queer.

When we got to this topic, the stake president shared a few slides I had sent him earlier based on some research done at Utah State University.

The stake president then spoke about things he has learned as the dad of a gay child. Primarily that it is his job to love, and his son is going to have his own journey. The things he has learned as the parent of a queer child has helped him be a better stake president.

One of the bishops shared that when he was newly called three years ago that I sent him an email with 10 suggestions. He keeps that email bookmarked and has referred to it several times over the years. It helped him understand his role and that he could be confident in meeting with queer individuals and help them feel seen, loved, and valued. Then he read the list while wiping away tears, and I also was moved to tears to hear him share how impactful these suggestions were for him

David's list of 10 suggestions for bishops

All LGBT members need a trusted adult in their life who loves, supports and sustains them, no matter which path they choose.

When someone “comes out” they should be greeted with love, validation and hope, not a lecture on repentance or reminder of the Church’s stance on same-sex marriage  

Create a safe culture for the LGBT person. This could include speaking to youth and YSA about what sort of conversation their bishop would have with them if they come out, that it’s okay if now is not the right time to come out, and there is no shame to the person or their family if they are gay/trans. There's a good chance there's some LGBT people in your ward, even if you don't know who they are.

Don’t use words like “struggling” or say they’ll be “fixed” in the resurrection

Our Heavenly Parents love their LGBT children, we should give them unconditional love and support and recognize they will bless the lives of others

LGBT individuals are more likely to be the victims of bullying and violence than any other minority group in the USA. Be on the lookout for youth or young adults who may be doing & saying unkind things.  

Know the signs of suicide and depression. LGBT people are at much higher risk. It’d be a good idea for youth leaders to have some training in this.

Encourage them to pray and ask if God loves them as they are 

Especially before or after lessons about marriage, say something like “I know there are people in this ward who cannot be married because of same-sex attraction or other reasons. I love you, and the Lord has a plan for you.”

Know that studies show that being active in the LDS church is often detrimental to the mental health and quality of life for LGBT people. For a person’s well-being, they may decide they need a break. Make sure they know they’re welcome to come back.

I then blurted out, "I'm gay, just in case anyone didn't know." A counselor in the stake presidency said, "Duh, we all know you're a happy guy."

Another bishop shared that he has a child who recently came out as trans and is in their first semester of college. This child hasn't fully discussed this with the family but is using this time away to experiment with what feels right to them. He loves this child and wants them to be their best and to be comfortable with themselves and it's taking some adjustments for him to understand and change his dreams for them.

Then my bishop shared that I had given him the same 10 suggestions when he was first called and he feels it has helped him be successful as a bishop to queer youth. He shared an incident that happened recently which involved a young women leader overhearing part of a conversation between two teens. He didn't share the specifics of the discussion other than it was about being gay. The leader was uncomfortable with what she heard and spoke about it at ward council.

Another bishop commented, "Oh yes, ward council, that's the right place to discuss that" as he rolled his eyes.

The stake president said a better approach would've been for the leader to ask the girls to share more with her, to be open to a conversation with them, rather than run to the ward council to share how shocked and uncomfortable she was.

I thought it was a good discussion even though I wound up saying very little. I had prepared some thoughts ahead of time that I could use as reference, and I sent them by email to the bishops (see below).

————————————————————

There are queer individuals who attend our congregations, many of whom aren't out to everyone, and so you speak to queer people even if you don't know who they are.

We are children of God, we deserve to hear good news, to have hope, to feel loved. Unfortunately that doesn’t happen often enough in church settings. People who interacted with Christ left feeling uplifted and that would be a good goal for us.

In 2019, the former stake president said this in Bishops' Council: LGBT individuals are some of the most patient people you’ll ever meet. They’ve heard more hurtful words than most any of us will hear in our entire lifetime. That doesn’t mean they’re immune to the words. There are LGBT members who come to church and they deserve to hear good words, to be welcomed and loved and be strengthened in the gospel.

Handbook 38.6.15 The Church encourages families and members to reach out with sensitivity, love, and respect to persons who are attracted to others of the same sex. The Church also promotes understanding in society at large that reflects its teachings about kindness, inclusiveness, love for others, and respect for all human beings.

Handbook 38.6.23 Transgender individuals face complex challenges. Members and nonmembers who identify as transgender—and their family and friends—should be treated with sensitivity, kindness, compassion, and an abundance of Christlike love. All are welcome to attend sacrament meeting, other Sunday meetings, and social events of the Church

When my bishop was first called, a member of the ward asked me if I thought the new bishop would be safe to meet with and share his orientation. I sent the bishop an email to find out and received this beautiful response:

David, Thank you for sharing this with me. I hope that the Spirit can guide me to treat LBGTQ members and investigators with love and respect. I’m not sure what your journey has been, but I would guess that it has included anguish, heartbreak and innumerable unintentional and even some intentional wounds. As far as I am aware, I am the only person called to be a judge in the ward, and I believe that office is to help everyone come to Christ, not send any away. I may not fully appreciate how or which traditions and traditional phrases may carry messages of exclusion, but I am open to learning a better way. I hope that I can “make the pathway bright” for LBGTQ members and friends. In hope, Bishop

One of the scariest parts of coming out is not knowing how the other person will respond. The previous stake president at a youth fireside shared how he would react if a person met with him and shared that they are LGBTQ.

I would thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me.

If you're willing, I'd like for you to share with me some about your journey up to this point.

I would offer to give you a blessing.

Regardless of whether you accepted or declined the offer of a blessing, I'm a hugger so I'd ask if I can give you a hug.

I'd invite you to come see me again when you want to talk some more.

Questions many LGBTQ+ members would welcome from their church leaders (these come from the fourth option)

What does being LGBTQIA+ mean for you at this time?

What has been difficult about being an LGBTQIA+ member of the church? What's been fulfilling?

What do you want your future to look like?

What do you believe or want to believe?

What revelation have you received, if any, about your path in life?

What's on your mind related to your sexuality or gender identity and faith?

How has being queer influenced your relationship with Christ?

How can we best support you?

Do you feel safe in our congregation? What can we do to make it safer?

Has anyone said or done anything to make you feel unwanted in the ward?

From what you've observed so far, how can we improve as a ward?

How would you like to be involved in the ward?

What callings would you feel comfortable with?

What skills would you like to use to contribute to our ward? 

What else would you like me to know?

Things ward & stake leaders can do (also from the fourth option)

Pray for guidance on how to make your ward safer and more inclusive for LGBTQIA+ members (out or not)

Call LGBTQIA+ members to callings in a range of auxiliaries

Invite LGBTQIA+ members to share their experiences in fifth Sunday lessons, firesides, ward councils meetings, etc

Encourage your stake to call an LGBTQ fellowship coordinator

Speak to LGBTQIA+ members over the pulpit and in lessons (move away from the "use vs. them" mentality; show that we're part of every ward, out or not)

Include LGBTQIA+ members in discussions about ministering and and outreach

Regularly check in with us to see if anyone is making us feel unsafe

Get to know us personally

Wear a rainbow pin or similar thing to indicate that you're an ally

Speak in support of LGBTQIA+ people and help others remember that we are children of God

Ask your ward or stake to start a support group for LGBTQIA+ members, families, and allies (volunteer to help if possible)

Pray for guidance on how to best minister to LGBTQIA+ individuals in your ward

Pray for God to reveal more about His plan for His LGBTQIA+ children

Correct people when they say uninformed or hateful things

Listen to our stories, sit in our pain, celebrate our joy

Studies show that on average gay men (and I suspect this is true of queer people in general) are more creative, have higher IQ’s and higher emotional intelligence, have more compassion and are more cooperative and have less hostility. Of course someone with these qualities is going to bless the lives around them.

We have a stake group for LGBTQ members, and their family, friends and allies, which meets about every other month. For more information, contact me.

[nqueso-emergency]

the fact people can be so insanely cruel is baffling! all over a dumb little tv show. if they don't like what you have to say, they can easily block or just ignore you. these adult assholes who think it's okay to harass someone over only saying "lou is coming back for season 8" which is an actual, literal fact is insane. You've given nothing away, you've only said things that anyone could say and be right about. I'm not saying this in an "i don't believe you" way, i'm saying you haven't spoiled anything or given any info away whatsoever. the things you have shared are public info or basic knowledge. no duh we'll be getting more stuff this week! the show starts next week! no duh we'll see stuff from lou. we already know he did an interview and photoshoot. they're only pissed at you because you said lou was coming back and you were right. they're pissed because their precious buddie will never happen and they need someone to blame it on. they got tired of sending death threats to the cast and crew so they're coming for you instead.

they're pieces of shit and i hope they never have to suffer through the loss of a parent or loved one to cancer. that shit hurts worse than anything i've ever dealt with before, and i will never recover from it. i sincerely hope those assholes get blocked or learn their lesson somehow. and i wish you the absolute best in life.

Thank you so much!!

I took care of my mom in the last months too so that will forever stay with me. ❤️

[rue-dixon]

Chilchuck's family

Entire timeline headcanons:

This uses what little canon information we do know about his past. And me trying my best to fill in the gabs with other information from my person physical copy of the manga and Adventurers Bible.

His wife will be referred to as Bellana Sams.

Quick background:

Chilchuck's family was quite big. He had 4 siblings, 2 older siblings, a brother and sister whom he didn't see much because they were on their own by the time he was born. He would occasionally see his mother receive letters from them and would see them at holidays but that was about it. Chilchuck's mother was a nice woman, but often too busy working to give him much attention. He was mostly fine with that as a child since he preferred to be alone anyways. His father on the other hand was a drunk, and he rarely saw him smile. Chilchuck often thought he most likely got his sharp tongue from him. Chilchuck has practically no memories of his father being sober. And although he never hit him or his mother or siblings. He was very mean with his words, never missing an opportunity to insult anyone of them. But Chilchuck still found it in his heart to care for his father, mostly due to the stories his mother would tell him when he was young and sober. Chilchuck's two younger brothers came shortly after him. Although they were never close or had much of a relationship. Due to all three of them having to work as soon as physically able to support their family and themselves. They practically worked for what they ate. Since their father "retired". His family often struggled because of this and he remembers being hungry a lot. Which is probably why not eating for 3 days in the dungeons didn't bother him so much when he was an adult. When they did talk however, it was mostly to make fun of each other. His youngest brother often made fun of him and Bellana as kids. Referring to her as "his girl." Which angered Chilchuck and his brother found it hilarious. Overall, Chilchuck's family life was very distant. Everyone just simply existing in the same space. And once Chilchuck's father drank himself to death when he was seven years old, the family seemed to somehow grow more distant. This is most likely the reason Chilchuck struggles with vulnerability and his emotional wellbeing even far into his adulthood.

Bellana's family on the other hand was the exact opposite. They were simple farmers who lived down the street from the Tims family. She had a younger brother whom she loved very much, was very close to, and protective of. And was always secretly touched with how good Chilchuck was with him, and how much her brother seemed to always love him. Her mother was a loving woman, her father a hard worker but good family man. Who was always unnecessarily tough on Chilchuck for no apparent reason. Her brother was always up to mischief. But they were relatively close as siblings. Both her parents were pretty old fashioned, and took their traditions seriously. Their family followed "the old ways", no magic, hard work is good work, etc. Altogether the family had a warm atmosphere to them.

Childhood friends

⁃ Chilchuck Tims and Bellana Sams met when they were little kids. Went to school together and were neighbors.

- They met under an apple tree where Bellana made fun of Chilchuck reading, who was studying different languages. Bellana had been climbing the tree, trying to get the better apples at the top when Chilchuck sat down at the foot of it. Not realizing she was there, he started to study. Bellana watched him for a few minutes. Before taking an apple and tossed it at his head. "Ow! What the- who are you?!" "What are you doing?" "I'm teaching myself another language, duh!" "... what a loser."

- They didn't get along at first, they found each other annoying. Bellana constantly teasing him and annoying him. While Chilchuck would scoff and say she's just a dramatic girl. But the more time they would spent together in school and just in close proximity, and the older they got they got along better. Bellana got bored of teasing him. While Chilchuck started to feel more empathy for Bellana instead of finding her annoying. So they became friends. Getting closer and closer the older they got. Until they were practically spending every day together.

⁃ Chilchuck was always well mannered and mature. But had a sharp tongue and quick temper. While Bellana was passionate and easily moved, with a heavy attitude and a quick fuse. But upheld her and her families reputation and traditions. Always finding her image always important.

⁃ as kids, Chilchuck would tell Bellana his dream of exploring dungeons. He'd fantasize about being an adventurer. Making more money than most halfings and living a life most people only dreamed of. She'd say that he's being silly and no way a half-foot could do that. He'd get frustrated with her, and she'd tease him. Eventually he stopped talking about it and she assumed he grew out of it. "One day.. I'm gonna be an adventurer. And lead people through dungeons..!"

⁃ Chilchuck thinks he first unconsciously started to fall in love with her around age seven, when his father had passed away. And although he wasn't close with him, and he was no model father, he was still his father. With the way his family dynamic was, no comfort or solidarity was provided to anyone. During the funeral, as he was being buried, Chilchuck stood and watched. Everything seemed blurry to him, his mother's sobs in the background as his older sister held her. His older brother burying him. As his two younger brothers trembled with anger on his other side. He wasn't sure how he felt. If he should be sad? Relieved? The death happened so fast. That was until he felt from behind, a small hand gently grabbed his. He didn't need to look back to see it was Bellana's. She got closer to him when he didn't push her away and gently hugged his arm. Showing her silent support. For whatever reason, this made Chilchuck realized this was real. And began to cry. Bellana held him. And helped him through the rest of the grieving period. He felt that this was the first time someone cared for him like that.

⁃ around the age of ten, Chilchuck realized he had feelings for Bellana. He denied it for awhile. Hitting himself when he'd catch himself admiring her. Saying that it's normal, that he was a boy so obviously he would find her attractive! It was normal and didn't mean anything! They were just friends. Bellana realized around age eleven. Realizing how her cheeks would heat up when he stood so close to her that she'd have to look up to meet his eyes. And how everything she does seems to be better if he's by her side.

⁃ one night when they were both eleven, their village held a big party to celebrate the new year. It was a big banquet outside. Starting at sundown. First they'd eat then dance until sunrise. On an outdoor dance floor decorated with banners, balloons, candles and fire lights. The village had them every year. But this one seemed special to them.

⁃ Bellana was talking with her girl friends on the dance floor about who they hoped would ask them to dance tonight. When Bellana was asked, she bashfully said Chilchuck. Her friends criticized her, saying Chilchuck was very shy and seemed rude to most. But some said they see the appeal (saying they liked that he was tall.)

⁃ That same night, Chilchuck couldn't keep his eyes off her. She was wearing a new blue sun dress her mother made for her. And he thought she looked beautiful. Thinking about how the low lights with the light blue dress seemed to make her glow. That's when one of his brothers noticed this, caught on quickly, and tried to get him to ask her to dance. He refused, saying he couldn't. This caused his brother to get annoyed and shoved Chilchuck into Bellana.

⁃ Chilchuck was of course a mess, and basically the convo went like this. "B-Bel..! You- uh.. would you- I mean- uh you wanna- (cursing in a different tongue.)" "Are you... asking me to dance, Chil..?" "Uh.. yeah...?"

⁃ About a year later and a half later, another party/festival was thrown. Their village often had stuff like this, and the two would go to every one of them together. Drinking and dancing had become their thing. And it wasn't long until the whole village new of the young love birds. People were now just making bets of when they would get married. but they had been doing that since they were kids.

⁃ this time, Chilchuck walked her there, brought her a flower, she wore a brand new yellow dress with her nicer jewelry. Since it was a special holiday for the half-foots.

⁃ the two did a lot more drinking this time; being thirteen, so close to adults no one really cared. They both got pretty drunk by the end of the night. And danced until morning. But even when the party shut down, they still wanted some more time together. So they went for a walk. Finding their way to Bellana family's barn. They had laid on the hayloft. Looking at the stars through a hole in the roof and talking. where the alcohol got the better of them. And ended up making love in the hayloft out of wedlock. Which is l considered very taboo for their hometown.

⁃ Bellana noticed her period was late about three weeks later. And was already experiencing symptoms since half-foot pregnancies only last 4 months. Such as vomiting and fatigue. She told Chilchuck right away. Who was shocked but slightly (extremely) panicked.

⁃ Bellana was extremely upset, she cried and was convinced her parents would kick her out. And that they'd be shamed, and their child would be shunned from the village. So Chilchuck said they should just get married. if they got married now people wouldn't find out. Bellana didn't really like this, since she always wanted a nice wedding and not a rushed one, even if it was Chilchuck. And wanted Chilchuck to propose to her properly because he loved her, not because they had to out of obligation. But Chilchuck reassured her he always wanted to marry her anyways. And might as well do it now rather than later.

⁃ so they had a very quick wedding which was basically the papers and I dos with the witnesses being her parents and his mother.

⁃ Bellana's parents were suspicious of the sudden quick wedding. Especially since they weren't even fourteen yet. But they didn't want to think their daughter would do something like that. Meanwhile Chilchuck's mother didn't really care, having five kids and all, two of which were married and living in on their own.

⁃ a couple weeks later when it was clear Bellana couldn't hide her pregnancy anymore she told both families. Her mother was happy, but her father was suspicious. He had always been not so approving of Chilchuck to begin with. Thinking his daughter deserved better than an emotionally distant locksmith who already had drinking problems before fifteen. This caused many fights between Bellana and her father.

Meijack

⁃ Since she was pregnant, Bellana's parents let Chilchuck stay with them for awhile.

⁃ one night when just the two of them were eating. Bellana said she wanted to move out of the village when they were both fourteen. Chilchuck was surprised, and asked if she was sure. She said despite the wedding the villagers caught on and weren't happy. That she wanted a fresh start, and her parents being so overbearing was hard on her too.

⁃ Chilchuck always wanted to leave and explore dungeons as his dream job. So he agreed, he brought the idea up to Bellana, but she said she didn't like it. She said that it was no time to chase his silly childhood dream. So he didn't bring it up again. Being a locksmith was fine for now.

⁃ Bellana was on the shorter side while Chilchuck is quite tall. Meijack got his genes and was a bigger baby. That made the first pregnancy harder on Bellana. By the 4th month she found it hard to move and breathe. Chilchuck took off work just so he could stay home and take care of her during these times. Despite her strong protests against it saying she's fine.

⁃ when he was finally aloud to see his daughter he cried a bit. Bellana was sleeping. When she woke up she asked if he was disappointed it wasn't a son. Chilchuck said no, that having a son or daughter meant nothing to him. Bellana felt touched, and loved how Meijack looked like him. She came up with the name Mei, Chilchuck picked Jack. So there came Meijack Chils.

Flertom

⁃ Two months later, being parents was a lot harder for them than they were expecting. one night when her parents were gone, And Meijack was finally in bed. They sat down and drank together for the first time in a very long time. They had too much to drink.

⁃ Flertom was conceived that night.

⁃ when Bellana realized she was pregnant again she was pissed at Chilchuck for several days. Who felt bad, saying he really tried to pull out in time but in his drunken state had totally forgotten.

⁃ when they told her parents, her father got upset. Saying they were going too fast for not even being adults yet. Bellana and her father argued at the dinner table. He brought up Chilchuck's job and saying he couldn't support her or their kids financially or emotionally. Causing Bellana to storm out.

⁃ Chilchuck stayed, nervous. That's when her father talked some sense into him. Saying that if he wanted to be a good husband and father, he needed to get his issues with being emotionally vulnerable and open under control. Which actually helped Chilchuck. And along his wife's second pregnancy, he worked on himself for his new family.

⁃ Chilchuck and Bellana talk, and decided that they'll wait until the second baby is born until they move. They're from the northern continent in small village in a half-foot territory. They decided to move to the eastern continent, where a decent sized half-foot city was. And they figured it wasn't too far from home. Since their children deserved to see their grandparents at least on some holidays. And there were many dungeons in the eastern continent, which is why Chilchuck agreed but he didn't tell Bellana this.

⁃ Bellana's second pregnancy was a bit more draining since her body hadn't fully recovered from the first one. One night, she woke up with an intense fever. This caught Chilchuck's attention, he cooled her off with some cold rags. She went back to sleep, but he stayed up all night watching her. She still had a fever in the morning so he tried to get her to go to the doctor. She refused saying she's fine, after some back and forth she gave in. They went to the doctors, and were told that she would be more likely to get sick than last time. Being her immune system was still down from the first pregnancy.

⁃ this pregnancy wasn't as hard on her body physically as last time. But she got more frequent and intense fevers and sickness, and it was harder to eat than with Meijack.

⁃ Bellana felt very insecure this pregnancy. Chilchuck could see this, but didn't really know how to handle it. He wanted to tell her how beautiful he thought she still was, but was often too shy and awkward to do so. So instead he'd bring her flowers and candies when he came home from work everyday. And held her closer to him at night.

⁃ Chilchuck turned fourteen while she was pregnant with Flertom. Bellana is a couple months older than him, she turned 14 in the two month gap between pregnancies.

⁃ bellana felt bad she couldn't do more for his birthday being so pregnant. But she made him a cake, and his signature gloves that he always wears. Chilchuck loved them obviously and wore them almost everyday he worked for years.

⁃ the two bickered a lot during the second pregnancy. Although Bellana doesn't remember them very well due to exhaustion. Chilchuck however did, but tried not to hold a grudge. Which was very hard for him, being his character to often do so. But he made an effort for her and their marriage. They were never serious arguments, just petty disagreements about small things.

⁃ her birth was like the last one. But this time Chilchuck argued to stay in the room with bellana. Which made her mother's opinion on him turn sour. But Bellana got him to leave finally saying he needed to take care of Meijack.

Moving

⁃ Bellana's parents didn't take the news that they were moving well. Chilchuck's mother was hurt but accepted it and wished him well.

⁃ bellana and her father got into a big argument. Where it was revealed they knew the whole time of the premarital sex and marrying out of obligation and they were trying to ignore it. Which is why they were not very supportive throughout the pregnancies or marriage.

⁃ her father actually said that he didn't believe they married out of love, and that they would be divorced in two years and she'll come back to them with both of the kids. (Which is actually part of the reason Bellana lived with Flertom during their estranged period. Because she didn't want to prove her parents right. It was also a reason she didn't get a full on divorce as well and it was more of a break if anything. Besides the obvious, that she still loved Chilchuck and wanted things to work. But her father's words did have some influence lol)

⁃ Their moving day got sped up because of that. And ended up catching a merchant in the early morning that would bring them to the harbor, which they took a ship to the eastern continent. They had a long talk on the ride there. Where they both admitted they didn't regret the girls or getting married, they just wished it came later in life.

⁃ They moved to a more populated area towards the west. It was closer to mixed race territories, but where they actually settled down was in a half-foot town. Since it was a bigger and more populated area, they could purchase a house instead of building one. They bought a decent sized one with the money Chilchuck saved up. But it only had two bedrooms. So the girls would have to share.

⁃ for a few years when the girls were young he just worked as a simple lock smith. It was hard, but some days it barely got the family of four by. This is when he habits of not eating as much as he should started. Wanting more for his girls and wife. Bellana often protested but he would put his foot down. Eventually it became clear he needed more than what he was bringing to the table. So he started dungeon work, very much against Bellana's wishes.

⁃ When he first brought it up it was a huge fight. Her throwing at him "you have two daughters to think about?! You're going to just go off and die and leave them fatherless, and me, a widow to raise them on my own?!" But soon she couldn't protest any longer. They're not many jobs he could do since they lived in a more mixed race area. Not many jobs paid good for half-foots. So she agreed. But he'd only do light work. Which is what he did for awhile. He'd tag with adventures on small dungeons, lock pic, translate, and be a better pair of eyes and ears. It was on these small trips that he learned about traps. Almost getting caught a couple times had scared him enough to read up heavily on them. And when he went out again he could put these things he learned into practice. Being the fast learner that he is he picked it up in no time.

Puckpatti

⁃ funny enough Puckpatti was also unplanned and more or less an accident. But just as welcomed and loved as the other two girls.

⁃ they were doing good for awhile. It wasn't until Puckpatti was born a year after they moved that he started to really panic.

⁃ although since they were away from the village and away from her mother. Chilchuck not only finally got to be in the room for his daughters birth but was actually the one to deliver her this time. He was nervous as hell and was panicking like crazy when her water broke. But soon he went into full serious dad/husband mode. Putting the girls up in their room with toys and snacks telling them not to leave unless they had to. As he stayed with his wife. It was easier obviously because by this time Bellana was a pro at this.

⁃ as much as Bellana being pregnant made him want to work more. He knew he had to cut back to take care of his wife and young children. He cut back in work more and more the later into her pregnancy. But the second the baby was born went to working much more to make up for lost time.

⁃ he was horrified of the thought that his girls would go hungry. Or that his children would have to get jobs young like he did to feed and clothe themselves. He started going into work alcoholic mode. He was going deeper and deeper into dungeons everyday. Staying later and later, longer and longer. To where he was no longer coming home to his family every night, but instead every few days. But he would leave almost immediately the next day or two days.

⁃ this greatly effected bellana of course. Causing her a lot of stress and anxiety. Not to mention the girls missed him more and more everyday. As did she. So once night she sat him down and had a talk. She discussed how it was hard doing this alone. Especially that he was never around. He understood, and started taking longer breaks in between jobs. This was good for everyone, and was nice for awhile. But in order to do this, Chilchuck had to go deeper into the dungeons for more money quicker so he could take these longer breaks.

Raising the girls/dungeon work

⁃ Because he was going deeper into dungeons more quickly. It was harder and harder each day. But he never died on these small dungeons, since they weren't like Thistle's where they had a spell on it. And weren't as dangerous either.

⁃ it was around this time he started drinking again. It was slow, and only really did it after jobs and when the girls were asleep. It was more like a hobby for him at this time. Since he's not actually an alcoholic like his father is. Alcoholism is partly a genetic trait, and he wasn't sure if he had inherited it from his father or not. But since he seemed to be able to control himself, and was able to think and look forward to other things throughout the day. He assumed he was in the clear.

⁃ When he spent his time at home, he spent most of his time with his girls. The first day he would come back he'd spend all day sleeping. Where Bellana would tell the girls not to bother their father, because he needs his rest. They always whine but understand. Because the next day he'll spend the whole day with his family. He'd also help around the house with chores and anything else while he was there. Which Bellana would also tell him he didn't need to do and it was her job, his job was to provide. But he'd always argue that he couldn't just sit there while everyone else was working. Despite her protests, she's always happy he's willing to help. Sometimes she does have to have certain jobs that she holds for him, because she'd rather he do it.

⁃ Meijack caused her parents a lot of worry when she was younger. She was always a shy kid, hiding behind her parent's legs when meeting new people. But that was normal for some children. When she was a baby she rarely cried and rarely made noise. Even as a toddler, while Flertom was babbling nonsense away at a young age, Meijack was quiet. If she wanted something she'd hum and point, drag her parents to what she wanted, or put something in their hand to communicate. This greatly worried them, especially Bellana who would cry to Chilchuck at night wondering why her daughter wasn't talking. Chilchuck would comfort her, saying she was probably just a late bloomer. And if not, and she really was mute. They'd get through it together, and figure out what they'd need to do for her. Finally, when she was about three, she said her first words. Which were "more please" durning dinner. Bellana was so happy she almost cried. As Meijack grew older she got more confident with her speech with her family. But was very quiet in public and basically never talked in wide social situations. Finally at four they took her to a doctor where she was diagnosed to have selective mutism.

⁃ When Puckpatti was younger, she got bullied a lot. Mostly for being small and what other kids considered "dumb" because of her carefree, airhead like attitude. This really hurt her self esteem for awhile. Meijack being the over protective sister she was, would defend her, tell the kids off especially if they were older. And would start walking with her to school. Flertom was less confrontational. But if she saw it happening she would step in. Normally though she'd just comfort her little sister. This obviously upset her parents. Chilchuck would be angry and Bellana upset. She'd tell Puckpatti that the kids were just jealous, and that's what kids do and they're cruel. Chilchuck would want to talk to their parents, but Bellana would worry that it could disrupt the peace. Luckily it never got physical, and it only lasted when she was really little. It was gone by the time she was in her teens. Which reminds me of this dialogue: "Dad, am I ugly?" "Of course not. You're the most beautiful girl in the world."

⁃ Chilchuck would tell the girls lots of folklore from their homeland when he was home. Although most of them wouldn't have happy endings, and would end up scaring the girl. Bellana would fuss at him to go easier on them. But he would argue that fear is how they learn and it would keep them safe. He would tell stories of trolls that would take kids that wandered too far in the woods. Fairies that steal your sweets if you don't eat your vegetables. Mermaids that would drown you if you swam too far in the sea or lakes even. But, he would also tell them stories of the dungeons with the purpose of keeping them away from the dungeons. Stories of an adventurer who thought exploring dungeons would be fun, and him never comes home. Obviously that terrified them, because he goes in dungeons. And for awhile they were more clingy and terrified of him not coming home one day. Where he has to give them the talk; "I've always come home before haven't I? And I'll always come home after."

⁃ Chilchuck had a bad habit of yelling and losing his temper quickly. Mostly when they would do something that could've gotten them hurt, and he got angry out of worry. But after he calmed down, he'd always apologize to them, and calmly explained that he just worried about them because he loved them. And didn't want to see them get hurt, then tell them what they did was wrong or dangerous and why they shouldn't do it again.

⁃ when they were only babes, Bellana discussed with Chilchuck how she'd like him to teach them some of the other languages he spoke. Since he knew seven whole languages and her only three. So growing up he'd talk to them in multiple languages, Meijack learned three fluently and parts of two. Flertom also learned three and parts of one other, (and ended up learning dwarfish herself later on.) but Puckpatti only learned one extra one since she never took her father's lessons seriously.

⁃ when Meijack and Flertom were young. One night they couldn't sleep because Bellana and Chilchuck were arguing in the next room. Flertom earlier that day had learned that they were both born the same year their parents got married. Meijack had memorized their wedding date due to a previous conversation. Being a bit older, they did the math with Meijack's birthday and the wedding. And revealed she was probably conceived about a month before than. Flertom made the comment of "you made them get married before they were ready. No wonder they fight all the time." Not thinking anything of it. Because of this, Meijack has actually blamed herself as a child (irrationally of course) for her parents issues for awhile. When they could fight she secretly wished she wasn't born, thinking it was her fault.

⁃ at ages four and two ish, Flertom had found a black, orange and white calico kitty. She brought it home and begged her mother to let her keep it. Meijack and Puckpatti saw this as well and joined in. Also wanting the kitty. Chilchuck was on a job at the time. So Bellana said it was up to their father, since his money would ultimately be the one paying for it. But she made it clear she wouldn't be taking care of the cat, and it would be the girls' collective responsibility. They agreed and waited for their father to return. Letting the cat stay with them til' then. When Chilchuck finally came home the very first thing he saw was a cat being shoved in his face and all three of his daughters' big puppy eyes. With a "daddy can we keep him. Pleeeeeeeease." Chilchuck wanted to say no at first, but seeing them all beg him like that wore him down. And he reluctantly agreed. He was the stereotypical dad who didn't want the cat but ended up loving the cat. The girls argued on a name, but eventually settled on Pebbles.

⁃ the girls favorite toys growing up were, a lock box and a few spinners for Meijack. A red dragon plush that had dried rice in it for Flertom. And a doll with button eyes and yarn hair for Puckpatti. Which Chilchuck all kept in a box in his workshop when they got older. Filled with more of their toys and some baby clothes and blankets they liked as well.

⁃ Meijack had some more problems too growing up. As Chilchuck slowly started to spend more and more time in the dungeons. Leaving for weeks and weeks at a time. Rumors around their town started to circle. The other parents would talk. Gossiping, saying he must not love his wife. And dungeon work must be an excuse to stay away from home. That Bellana must be a mean wife. That he must find his children irritating. Etc etc. which of course trickled down to the children. Who would make fun of Meijack and Flertom. Laughing at them saying their father doesn't really love them and is avoiding them. Flertom would just cry, saying they're wrong. While Meijack would get angry and violent. Ending up getting into fights with other half-foot children. If it was another race child, she'd end up throwing rocks or sticks at them. She would get badly hurt, and of course in a lot of trouble. Bellana was furious with her when she was first dragged in by one of the parents. That is until Meijack broke down sobbing, telling her everything that had been happening. Meijack being Meijack, she didn't tell her parents about any of this til now. This caught Bellana by surprise since she never acts like this, causing her to be softer. But the one that talked to Meijack most about this was of course Chilchuck, her having always been a daddy's girl after all. He would hold her, calm her down after her fits of rage, clean her up. When the parents finally got together to talk about what was happening. Chilchuck made it very clear that "his situation. His family, and his marriage were not a topic of gossip. And they should be ashamed of themselves for getting the children involved."

⁃ once they were old enough he tired to teach all of them trades and skills he knew. Such as lock picking, how to tailor clothing, haggling prices down, repairing things like that. Meijack obviously picked up lock picking very well. So as she grew older he continued to teach her the trade. Flertom surprisingly really took to haggling and bargaining. So much so that when her mother moved in with her as an adult, she ended up doing all the shopping because she could always get the seller to bring the price down. And Puckpatti, somehow learned from her father's lessons is how to have a good poker face and become a convincing liar. Chilchuck still isn't sure how that happened.

⁃ Flertom was a sensitive girl. She'd cry the most, was the most affectionate, and wanted to spend the most time with the parents. Chilchuck and Bellana referred to her as, "the little sweetheart." But said she had her mother's temper and father's sharp tongue when it came to it.

⁃ Puckpatti was always the baby. She gave them the most trouble growing up. Having the most tantrums as a child. If she didn't get her way she'd simply start screaming. She was especially hard on poor Chilchuck when he was taking care of her by himself. Sometimes even holding her breath until she got her way. When she would throw her tantrums, Bellana would deal with it by talking her down. And Chilchuck would simply ignore her til she tired herself out, then talk to her about what happened and what made her upset like his wife does.

⁃ when Meijack was eleven she told her parents she was feeling attraction to other woman, and not men. Flertom always had been a bit boy crazy. So it scared her that she never felt the things her sister did. But instead, seemed to get flustered when the pretty elf girls or half-foots would compliment her freckles and long, ginger hair. She told Chilchuck first, who was more excepting immediately with his more world and people experience. She was more scared to tell her mother. Bellana didn't get it at first, not understanding. But she wasn't prejudiced. Just didn't quite understand, not hearing something like that often. But after some time, and some talking with Chilchuck. She understood one simple thing, she loved her daughter and just wanted her to be happy.

⁃ as the girls got older and more independent. he didn't necessarily need to spend as much time at home. So he started moving back to doing longer dungeon work. Staying out longer, going deeper, not staying home as much anymore. It bothered Bellana at first but she kept quiet. Knowing they needed the money.

⁃ Meijack moved out a few weeks after she turned fourteen. Getting employed as a locksmith under a larger company. Chilchuck gave all his girls a sum of money to get them on their feet when they moved out. Flertom moved out a few months after her fourteenth birthday. Staying close to home, she got a job at a local tavern as a waitress. In an area popular among dwarves. Puckpatti stayed about a year after her sisters. But left when she was only twelve. Both Chilchuck and Bellana heavily protested, saying she should wait til she's an adult like her sisters and they did. But she argued saying they got married before they were adults so she should be aloud to move out. So despite her parent's wishes, she left. Neither of them really knew what she did, since she barely kept in touch the first year which heavily worried them. but soon she started sending letters, saying she was traveling with a group and she was okay. Later Chilchuck would run into her at a market where she was selling dragon dung. He was a little disappointed this is what she decided to do, but knew he couldn't stop her. In his own words, "it'll burn her someday." So he just reminded her that she will always have a place to come back to if (when) needed.

The island

⁃ About a year later Chilchuck wanted to retired and open up his own locksmith shop as a way to continue to support him and his wife, keep himself busy, and to save money to pass onto his girls when they both pass. But he was no where near the goal he needed to reach. This was around the time of the rumor of the island with a huge dungeon under it where you couldn't die had been going around local adventurers. So after a very, very, very long and hard talk with Bellana. She agreed to move to the island with him. Only really agreeing to it because apparently he wouldn't die. So they moved, more temporarily if anything, Flertom took over their old home.

⁃ One of the first jobs was where he was tricked to be used as bait for a succubus. This is the first time he went home and Bellana saw him truly terrified, and on the verge of tears. She tried to comfort him but he was practically inconsolable. She saw a noticeable change that night with him.

⁃ After that, he dove harder into work, and alcohol. He started the guild to protect half-foots. And started to be a bigger advocate for them, even though he had always been very outspoken against the harsh treatment towards his people. He became even more so.

⁃ so Bellana began to see less and less of her beloved husband. And every time he'd come home, he seemed different every time. Every time he came back from a job his attitude got worse and worse. He drank more and more. Where it went from just a hobby before to now a coping mechanism. Although he never ever laid a hand on her, and never insulted her or had violent outbursts of any kind. He was noticeably more cold and distant. Seemingly always something on his mind. He never shared what happened when he was away, which he did before hand as well. It didn't bother her much back then since he always seemed fine and came back with a smile. But now he was coming home with injuries she'd never seen before. And he was never home. He'd be gone for weeks, come home for only two days before he was gone again on average. Leaving Bellana alone in the house, on an island where she knew no one. Their affection of course dropped, they had barely made love since they moved there. And would barely be affectionate when he was home. Bellana quickly grew tired. Beginning to think that maybe he was finally growing bored of her, moving on or falling out of love even. The thoughts of another woman also crossed her mind.

⁃ along the way, Chilchuck met a group whom he quickly grew rather fond of. He told them happily about his beautiful wife and three daughters who were already all independent and living on their own.

⁃ one particular trip, they ran into a group of succubus. Two succubus had gone after Chilchuck, both blond beauties with long hair, light eyes and tall slender yet curvy figures. The group saves him, and immediately assumes that must be what his wife looks like! Chilchuck on the other hand is horrified, his wife looks absolutely nothing like that! But he figured they'd drop it. He questions his subconscious loyalty to his wife for awhile. Until he comes to the conclusion that they were just showing a sexual fantasy he had and nothing more. He still loves Bellana and she is still the most beautiful woman in the world to him. She is his wife and mother of his three kids. They were just a horny thought. Nothing more.

⁃ this isn't brought up again until the night the party meet Bellana. The party insisted they meet her, very curious about their young looking member's family. Eventually he agrees, seeing no harm in it. Bellana is delighted when he invites her to dinner with his coworkers. She thinks this could be the start for things to look up with them. That maybe this was him letting her into this part of his life. she gets herself all dressed up. A little bit extra to hope maybe she'll catch his attention and maybe even make love again that night afterwards. They hadn't in months at this point. But Chilchuck grumbles at her, saying it's not that big of a deal and it's just casual. It hurts her a bit but she pushes it away. Trying to understand where he was coming from.

⁃ Chilchuck was grumpy in the beginning of the night. But loosened up when he started drinking and talking to his friends. Bellana saw how happy he was smiling with his companions and even other woman that it hurt her. It made her feel insignificant, and that he was falling out of love with her. The attention she got from the men of the party, and how Chilchuck barely bothered to tell them to "fuck off she's taken." Hurt as well, but she felt she was being nit-picky. Until finally, one of the party members spoke up. Saying that she was nothing what they all thought she'd look like, since she looks nothing like his fantasy. Confused, Bellana asked them to explain. Whole Chilchuck's face dropped, he immediately aggressively shook his head, waving his arms wildly to tell them to shut it. But soon the whole party started to join in, finding it funny. They explained what a succubus was. And what they do, they explained, in great detail, how his succubus turned into naked woman with long, curly blond hair and blue or green eyes with model type bodies. Some, not even being half-foots. That absolutely broke Bellana, and in her mind confirmed it. Chilchuck had completely fallen out of love with her. He didn't even find her physically attractive anymore. And that maybe the succubus had even turned into his mistress.

⁃ Chilchuck tried to explain, saying it was nothing more than a fantasy he's had since a child. Soon the party laughed it off, and the conversation moved on. Chilchuck tried to forget about it and moved on himself shortly afterwards. But Bellana didn't say anything much for the rest of the dinner.

⁃ on their way home they night, she had completely shut down. Refusing to take his arm when he offered, barely looking at him, and answering in a short blunt tone as they walked home. Which Chilchuck remembered as her just being "moody." He thought maybe the party members had said something to upset her. Or she was just tired. So he let it go. Which hurt Bellana even more that he never even bothered to ask what was wrong.

- the next morning he was gone. That party had ended up planning another run, it was much shorter so he saw no harm in not waking Bellana up to say goodbye this time.

⁃ Bellana woke up to an empty bed. And the first thing she did was cry. She sobbed alone in an empty house all morning. Until finally pulling herself together. She made her decision. She was going to get off the island. She would go to Flertom, since she was closest. If Chilchuck didn't love her anymore like she suspected then fine. But if he did, then surely he'd come find her right? He'd come and they'd talk and they'd be able to work out their problems and be happy again like they use to be. Bellana didn't pack much, mostly just clothes, but by night fall she was on a ship towards the eastern continent.

⁃ a few days later she arrived at Flertom's aka her old door step in the rain. Tears streaming down her cheeks. Flertom was shocked, letting her in. Her mind went to the worse. Dad was dead. He either drank himself to death or was killed in the dungeons. But once Bellana explained Flertom felt sad. As a kid they seemed so in love. She had no idea they've had so many problems for years. The last year being the absolute worst. She didn't remember all the fights they had when she and Mei were young. (Meijack did however. Being very perceptive. But never mentioned it in typical Meijack fashion.) Flertom let her mother stay there again of course. Asking what the plan is. Bellana said she'd wait. For her husband? She didn't know. For her to move on. For Chilchuck to come find her. For another man to sweep her off her feet and make her feel young again. She had no clue. But she was just going to wait and see.

⁃ when Chilchuck came home to an empty home he immediately panicked. Freaking out thinking the worse, he looked all over until he found the letter on his doorstep. Opening it, half expecting some sort of ransom letter. He was relieved but confused. Once he read that his wife had, in Flertom's words, "needed some air". He felt angry, betrayed and confused. He didn't know what to do, so of course, he drank himself until he was black out drunk.

⁃ For months he was too angry with her to do anything but seethe at every passing thought of her. To him this was a complete betrayal. As time passed, he subconsciously realized that he probably was all his fault. That he pushed her away in hindsight. But he had too much pride and anger to ever admit that to himself. So instead of dealing with it like an adult, he just fully threw himself into work. Never home. He eventually cleared out the house of all personal belongings. Barely standing to stay in it. He rented it out, moved all the stuff down in the basement where he stayed. The most frequent person he rented it too was actually Bellana's younger brother. "Gotta say Chil.. I really thought you and my big sis would last. You always seemed like quite the love birds when we were kids." "For the last time.. we're not divorced. Just estranged. We're still married. There's a clear difference. Now let's stop talking about this." "Uh huh..."

⁃ meanwhile Bellana had tried to date a man again mostly due to the daughters influence. But it felt wrong, and she ended up ghosting the poor green-eyed bartender after three dates.

Retirement

⁃ Then a year later he met Laios. He was planning to retire when Laios came to the guild wanting to hire a half-foot. Of course the obvious answer was for Chilchuck to go. But hearing that Laios wanted to go deeper, it seemed like a perfect excuse to get his mind off his marital problems. And we all know how most of that went. Three years later Falin got eaten and yada yada.

⁃ MANGA SPOILERS: after the kingdom rose from the sea. Chilchuck made it his job to help the half-foots get back on their feet. Partly another distraction. He started up the union again, to help put the half-foots back in work. It didn't take long with the new kingdom forming. So soon he was able to open up his shop like he wanted. Figuring it was still something to do and not just sit around in his misery. He decided to open it up in the kingdom instead since it was growing bigger by the day. And he would be the first locksmith shop. And also due to marcille's begging. He didn't bother seeing his wife again until Meijack had moved into the kingdom to work with Chilchuck.

⁃ Chilchuck had matured a lot since then. And mellowed out with the new quiet life. One night, he had invited all his girls to dinner at the castle. Heavily from Marcille's influence. But the other party members were curious about his daughters as well. Most of the night consisted of chasing Puckpatti away from Laios. Dragging Flertom away from Senshi. And removing Meijack from both Falin and Marcille. Marcille at dinner asked if he had talked to any of his other family members often. He had dinner with Flertom a few times and exchanged letters with Puckpatti, and seen her in passing once. She then popped the question about his wife, where he kinda shut down again. She scolded him, saying he said he would apologize to her after it was over. And it's been a year. He sighed and says she's right. He accidentally makes eye contact with Meijack. Who's staring at him intensely with a hopeful look in her eyes. He gets nervous and looks to the other side of him. Where Puckpatti and Flertom were both looking at him. Flertom with wide, teary eyes. And Puckpatti's bottom lip quivering. Those looks from his girls broke his heart.

⁃ that night he was up all night thinking everything over. He knew it was his fault. He knew he drove her away. He knew he had changed, and she didn't like it. He was finally able to admit it to himself. And he finally admitted to himself, that he did in fact, miss Bellana dearly.

⁃ within the next week. He traveled to their old home. He stood at the doorstep for at least ten minutes before finally knocking. Flertom was already home, so she answered. She was confused at first. Asking if he had sent a letter and she just missed it. He said no, and he was sorry for showing up unannounced. But he wanted to talk to her mother. Flertom looked shocked and like she was about to cry. She said of course and said she needed to go run some errands anyways (which was a lie) and she left. Despite Chilchuck saying she didn't need to. But he still appreciated the privacy.

⁃ Bellana was angry at first, not angry that he came. But angry it took him four years. The first words out of Chilchuck's mouth were. "I'm so sorry, Bel.." bellana asked what he wanted and he said to talk, but more importantly to apologize. She said fine, but she wanted to speak first. And she explained how she felt all those years. And explained what happened that night. He listened, her pointing out things he hadn't even thought of. And she apologized for not being the best wife at times. For starting fights when they were younger, and expecting more when he already did more than he could handle some days. He tried to tell her she had nothing to apologize for but she insisted she did. Then it was his turn. He explained what was happening, why he changed so much, and why it took him so long to find her again. And apologized for all of it. They fell into silence, when Bellana asked, "did you still love me..?" Which made Chilchuck felt like he was going to cry. Saying of course he did, he never stopped loving her and that even now he still does. Even during the years he was so angry with her and tried to convince himself he was better off, he knew deep down he still loved her.

⁃ she began to cry, and Chilchuck took her in his arms for the first time in years. They stood there and just cried with each other for awhile. Eventually asking what this meant for them. Chilchuck said he wanted to try again, but it was all up to her. She said she did too, but she wanted to take things slow. He agreed.

⁃ they started off seeing each other everyday. Going on little dates and outings. Chilchuck (eventually) introduced her to everyone at the party. Although he was very embarrassed, even more so as Bellana went out of her way to let them know how affectionate and "romantic" he was when they were younger. and telling them embarrassing stories about him and the girls as well. They also started having dinner as a whole family. Which was an adjustment for everyone. Affection was a little weird a first, not so much awkward as it was not knowing. Neither wanting to go too fast or make the other uncomfortable. They didn't sleep together again until about three months in. After about nine months of this things got back to almost how it was before. They moved into a one room cottage together a little ways away from his shop with a nice plot of land around it. Complete with a little white fence and everything.

⁃ about a year or two years. Chilchuck's prediction about Puck became true. Puckpatti's unserious attitude had gotten her into trouble. She got scammed out of all her money by people she had been traveling with, and robbed by a precious "business partner." And when trying to get back on her feet again, a group of fisherman she tried to get a job with tried to use her as bait for sea beasts. She managed to escape. And immediately went to her parents' home.

⁃ she collapsed into her mothers arms crying. Chilchuck was at work when this happened. Coming home to seeing Puckpatti wrapped up in a blanket as Bellana made dinner. He asked what she was doing here, and through tears she explained the situation. He sighed, he said he had warned her about all this. Not surprised but still sorry for her. Bellana scolded him gently, saying she needed comfort and empathy right now and not a lecture. He sighed and apologized. Then gave Puckpatti a hug. Saying she was welcomed in the home as long as she needed. Puckpatti stayed with them for a few months. Eventually finding a job at a flower shop. And moved out a few more months after working.

⁃ Meijack inherited Chilchuck's shop when he fully retired at forty-eight . She also met a big eyed, curly haired half-foot girl later in her life. Although they were never publicly affectionate, and were never married or even official courted. It was clear they were in a romantic relationship. They lived together above Meijack's shop. And really the only people who knew they were romantic was family. Everyone else in town thought they were simply friends and roommates. And really the only reason Meijack's family knew is because she was brought to family events and they were together for every holiday. And who brings their roommate to that stuff? Meijack took on an Puckpatti's son as an apprentice and would pass the shop onto him when she retired.

⁃ Flertom down the road eventually did meet a half-foot boy whom she quickly fell for. They had a very fast and messy relationship, and she ended up getting pregnant. They had a son, but he was unwilling to marry her. He said he just wanted to wait until he had more money. Chilchuck warned her, saying how he never liked the guy because he seemed to childish and not serious about her. That he thought her and her baby deserved better. and not marrying her was a red flag and she should be careful. Flertom got defensive, saying that he just wanted to provide for them. And that just because him and mom had a shotgun wedding doesn't mean she should. Chilchuck felt hurt but understood she was a grown adult. Flertom continued to work with the baby, Bellana baby sitting during the day. It was a boy named Kamkate, with the nickname Kammy. It wasn't until about a year later when Flertom got pregnant yet again that things went wrong. Her man still refused to marry her. So being done, and already having plenty or problems with him, (including suspects of him cheating,) she said he either marry her and start taking being a father for their children seriously. Or get out of her life. Fed up, he turned and walked out the door. Never to be seen again. Flertom struggled for awhile. Not able to keep up with everything as a now single mom of two, with a new baby girl named Starlea. Chilchuck decided to fund her money, enough the she wouldn't need to work and could raise her babies. Flertom was grateful, crying to him. Apologizing for their fight and saying he was doing too much. He told her to stop crying and that he would be a sad excuse for a father if he didn't held his daughter at her lowest point in life. Bellana also helped, going over almost everyday. Helping take care of the babies and teaching her all the things she's learned. Originally they had the last name of their father. But to be petty and since he clearly wasn't going to be apart of their lives, she gave their family names Chils instead. Chilchuck acted like he didn't care, but secretly he was flattered. (And proud because he knew he oneuped the shitty asshole that hurt his baby.) Once they were old enough for school Flertom was able to work again. About 2 years later she met a young dwarf man who was impressed that she was a single mother of two and was able to keep her and her babies afloat. Although it wasn't rich like her original fantasy he was a successful blacksmith. They fell in love, married, and later her children both learned the blacksmith trade. Able to make some pretty intricate stuff with their small hands. But despite getting married finally, Flertom kept their family names as Chils.

⁃ Puckpatti went through a lot of relationships through her life. With half-foots, tall men and even elves. Which caused her parents to be very worried for her. But despite this she never got pregnant. She took any get-rich-quick opportunity she could find. Constantly changing who she was traveling with and always moving. She didn't have a real job or even home for a long time. It wasn't until eveything went down and she moved back with her parents that she got her life together. As I said before she got a job as a florist. Very later in her life she met a grey-eyed tall man. It was nice for a while and they even got engaged. But it was broke off when he realized how badly he wanted children. It devastated her for awhile but she got back on her feet. She got a second job part time in a local book store, hired by an elderly gnome woman who was getting too old to run the shop. Eventually she took over when the gnome retired. 6 months later she met a blue eyes half foot who was a traveler from the north selling potions. He fell instantly for her, but she was cautious. But soon fell for him too. They got married about a year later and almost immediately had a son named Pepermac. Everyone was very relieved that she finally settled down to say the least.

[ganondoodle]

since seeing a post from a mutual yesterday i was thinking about how grateful i am that i can now, confidently say something like -im taking demise away from nintendo- or -hes MY character now- while knowing that the people following me will understand that thats not actually possible and also i dont mean that literally literally (duh)

bc (while i have mentioned it in the past and im not trying to fish for sympathy with this, the memories ... and trauma really does come back every now and then) there were people once that imagined i said that about a popular character in the fandom i was in when i was a teen and proceeded to try (and nearly succeeding bc i was already struggeling alot with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism) to bully me into killing myself; perhaps it wasnt their actual goal, but the shit they did (alot of them were adults too), was absolutely insane, but i've only been able to see that wayyyy after the fact

like even if im remembering wrong and i did word it wrong or weird or in a way that was easily misunderstood, i was a teen, with english not as my first language and it still was some fandom shit that ultimately did not matter and never in any scenario warrented that level of harrassment, i dont even think i ever told my parents bc i thought i had to deal with it alone since i 'caused' it too and since then just ... wanting to forget it ever happened

while i am much, much better now, and slowly learning to manage my mental health struggles too, i do wonder just .. how much of how i am today was shaped by that horrible experience, like the way i overly try to pre-apologize and put doubts on every thought i write out, or the panic i feel when something does go outside my usual range (mostly twitter really ..) was immensely worsened by that .. among stuff i probably dont even realize

funnily enough, i made my account on tumblr to try and flee from all that was happening to me (even if they did stalk me at first .. even here) and hey, im still here :D

i guess what im trying to say is, i am very happy to still be here, i am grateful to be able to be myself, even with its downsides, even with my problems, even if the things i do are passable at best, even if i will never "make it big", even if i am annoying at times, even if i do mistakes still, even if i am .... horribly bad at replying to the awesome people that message me-

there are, at least a few people, who enjoy, or even care, or heck, even think about what i draw and write, which is .. still mind boggling to me and i might never be able to truly believe its all real, there are people who are able to see beyond my flaws, forgive me if i do missstep or overreact, and just be aware that even with everything i share about me, there is lots you dont know that may inform why i feel a certain way about something, but thats okay, i am human, i am here, there are people who enjoy my brainworms, and perhaps even think i, as a person, am nice

i am so grateful for that

some things are good

[the-ace-with-spades]

I have the urge to write a seven-season-long medical drama, so here is a concept for Top Gun Hospital AU with ER hate-to-love hangster AU that no one asked for.

as a warning: this is a bit incohesive and silly

All the aviators are doctors and all the WSOs are nurses. With the exception of Bradley (but there’s an explanation for it).

Mav — cardiothoracic surgeon; Ice — former neurosurgeon and Chief of Surgery, current Head of Patient and Medical Services (so, entirely admin). I imagine they have the same kind of relationship as House and Cuddy in this, including Ice keeping an entire legal team for Mav’s unconventional practice methods. They've met during med school and had been rivals up until they both finished general surgery residency. Slider is an OR nurse turned anesthesia nurse. Goose was an ER nurse and met Mav during his rotation as a med student and died after an incident in the ER during Mav’s residency (that was the moment he switched from emergency medicine to surgery).

Phoenix — emergency, but she managed the impossible (like Mav) and switched from obgyn residency after the first year (only chose obgyn in the first place because of her mom, a renowned obgyn in Oregon), she's still really passionate about the obgyn field but didn't enjoy the work enough to do it for the rest of her life; Javy — general surgery; Payback — emergency with sub-spec in pediatrics; Friz — respiratory medicine; Omaha — oncology; Yale — ortho surgery.

Bob — a former OBGYN nurse, left because of a toxic work environment, working in the ER six months now, Phoenix's favorite nurse now, duh; Fanboy — started in peds oncology, had to switch because it was too hard on him mentally and is now peds emergency; Halo — started as a palliative care nurse, switched to oncology after a few years; Harvard — OR nurse, switched from general team to ortho

Hangman is the new trauma surgeon starting in their ER. Born and raised on a ranch, was expected to take over the ranch but never wanted to. Thankfully, he had too perfect grades to not send him to college — his parents wanted him to be a vet, which obviously didn’t happen, so he could stay close to the family business. He moved to California for his MD. He has terrible bedside manners with patients and patients’ family, but is surprisingly decent with kids, has lost respect for nurses sometime during his first residency year, and had a terrible case of Ego hit him during his trauma surg fellowship.

Now, about Rooster:

Bradley got into a pre-med program, Mav (who had set up Bradley’s college fund) said he’s not going to pay for it since he doesn’t want Bradley to be a doctor (long hours, lack of work-life balance, burnout, high stress, etc. It was more complicated because Mav still has the Goose trauma). So they had the fallout, Bradley moved out and deferred college to find a way to pay for it and, wanting to gather hospital experience, started working as a CNA in Peds ICU at a children’s hospital which accidentally was having a new CNA intake at the time. He liked it, actually loved it, and started hesitating whether he should continue with pre-med and be like Mav or go for nursing, like his dad. Year after, he got an offer from the hospital that said hey, we’ll fund some of your BSN as long as you work for us while you study and then work for us for another four years after getting your license. So he became a nurse, got certified as peds nurse after working two years in PICU and after another three, switched to the Pediatric Rapid Response Team, where he stayed for another two years before getting a spot as a senior nurse in adult/peds ER in a different hospital.

His relation to Mav and Ice only came to light a few months after the hiring process, as Bradley didn’t even know they worked there when he applied and it’s still a hash-hash topic in the ER. He’s been in the ER for almost three years now and has become an unofficial second-in-command as one of the few with substantial experience.

I imagine he’s definitely one the best nurses you could have as a patient — he’s honest but in an empathetic way, he’s worked in the most demanding environments with the most complex patients (ICU and RRT), he’s skilled and experienced in most procedures. Because he is one of the few male nurses, he’s the one dealing with inappropriate patients, aggressive patients, patients that need restraint, frequent flyers, etc. and he genuinely doesn’t mind — he is the perfect mix of calm and firm that makes him very reliable in most difficult situations. He is absolutely most reassuring and guiding with new stuff, be it new nurses or med students that don’t know what’s happening, and he doesn’t judge. It does help, too, that he was partially raised by two very cocksure surgeons and therefore knows how to deal with doctors that turned a bit too arrogant.

Before I go to the hangster part of this shit, I want y’all to know it all started because I found this Rooster-coded scrubs:

I imagine that he buys most of his scrubs since the work-issued scrubs don’t fit well on men (most unisex ones are very much just female fit stamped with unisex label) and peds nurses can have lots of cute ones so the kids feel less nervous around them

Also, this is a warning that yes, Bradley is trans in this scenario, too, because I said so. It's relevant to a few scenes, I think?? and there's tw for transphobic OC

Now, a bunch of scenarios I can see for this AU:

On the first day at his new workplace, Jake makes a reputation for himself. He confuses Nat, in her hospital-issued scrubs and with her doctor tag clearly on display, for a nurse and literally talks over her in front of a patient. Same thing happens with Billy because he’s Filipino and there is a large number of Filipino nurses everywhere and he’s stereotyping. Then he makes another patient’s parents agitated. This is when he meets Bradley — he takes over to talk to the parents and calm them down before it can escalate, basically shushing Jake out of the room. Jake doesn’t clock he’s a nurse at first — he’s a big, very fit, very well-built, very handsome dude with a questionable mustache who looks comical in a pastel pink scrub top with a teddy bear pattern and a matching headband on his forehead, but also the sheer shock of how different to all the nurses he looks gives Jake a pause  — so he doesn’t say anything even if it pisses him off a nurse just forced him out of the room.

*

It starts innocently with Bradley though — Bradley comes up and asks, “Jake, can you put the narcotics order into the system for Lily?” and Jake scoffs and corrects, “Doctor,” tapping his full tag with Dr. Jacob Seresin.

Bradley, as the nurse’s tag says, raises an eyebrow and says, “Doctor Jake, can you put the narcotics order for Lily?”  Natasha, standing behind him, snorts. Jake doesn’t even have the time to tell him off because he’s already gone when his brain processes.

*

Natasha drops off a patient on him — a taxi driver who had a stroke while driving and had been in a car accident, that had been thrombolysed but might need emergency surgery because of a suspected GI bleed. He’s stable, so they're going to check if he can be admitted to neurosurg and wait for his turn there or if Jake will need to take over before that.

Bradley hands him a tablet the minute he walks into the room.

“What’s that?”

“Results,” he supplies before going back to setting up an oxygen cylinder at the bottom of the bed.

“I didn’t order that,” he notes. The blood and urine panels are what he would order with suspected operable GI bleed but he’s barely looked at the patient’s case before he walked in there.

“I did,” Bradley tells him as he switches the oxygen from the wall socket to the tank supply. “Faster this way.”

“No,” Jake says, blood boiling. “You do exactly what I tell you to do and only that.”

Natasha raises her eyebrows, high on her forehead. Bradley doesn’t hesitate — waves on Bob from behind the glass wall and they both grab each side of the bed.

“I supposed you want to put the CT order yourself then,” Bradley says as Bob takes the small back monitor and attaches it to the frame. He steps on the bed brake and rolls out the bed, straight into Jake and Nat, fast enough that he moves out of the way on instinct. “Better do it fast because it’s free now and I’m going.” *

“Did you see that? Who the heck does he think he is?” Jake asks Nat.

“Better put that CT scan order,” is all Natasha replies as she walks away.

*

It’s Reuben’s patient, an eleven years old boy with blunt trauma, and Jake makes a verbal order to Bradshaw, who is the boy’s nurse. “I understand but I think that—” and Jake goes, “If I want your opinion, I’ll ask for it.”

The whole room gets quiet and everyone looks to him — Reuben, Mickey, and the technician are wide-eyed.

Bradley just says, “Alright,” in a perfectly leveled voice and leaves the room.

 Mickey is not making eye contact as he quips under his nose, on his way out of the room, “You do realize he basically runs this ER, right? You’re making your life a lot harder.”

*

Jake orders IV fluids for one of his patients which is also in Rooster’s section that day and he bleeps the order info to Rooster. Fifteen minutes later he sees that it hasn’t been filled and is like, hah, I knew there is a reason I hate that guy. Finds him when he passes Jake in the corridor and is like, “I want you to start the IV for room 7. Now,” and Rooster  just tells him, “No, do it yourself or find someone else.” 

They have a little back and forth as Jake follows him down the corridor which ends with another, “No.”

There’s still no charge nurse in the ER (she’s on medical leave that will most likely end with her leaving employment, from what Jake gathers) so he makes a datix and the ER nurse manager (Warlock) following up is apprehensive because obviously, he knows Bradley, and hears about what actually happened — Bradley was getting an igel for a toddler from the peds side and deemed it more important than starting a bag of saline to bust someone's blood pressure.

Jake feels like an idiot.

*

Jake and Reuben are charting next to each other and Reuben gets bleeped his patient’s lab results. Jake, who is also waiting for lab results, complains about how he sent a pod to the lab before Reuben. Reuben just gives him a look and says, “Yeah, that’s because I asked Bradley to put my request in.”

And Jake is like, “What does he have to do with anything?”

Reuben looks at him like he’s dumb and says, “He has more sway with the lab,” and walks away with his tablet.

*

Javy is doing a consult for Nat and stops to chat to Jake (they know each other from residency days) and Bradley comes by and says, “Maggie’s becoming hypotensive again,” and Javy observes as Jake looks at the nurse that came, gives him a very long, very detailed look and licks his lips.

He manages to think Oh before Jake asks, “Maggie?”

The nurse looks seconds from rolling his eyes. “Mrs. Lawrence? Room 5?” 

“That's Margaret.”

“She prefers Maggie.”

And it goes on, with Jake standing there rigid, puffing up his chest and cocking his hip out. “Did you start the fluids?”

“Finshed already.”

“Start another bag.”

The nurse looks unimpressed and instead of confirming says, slowly, like he’s talking to a child, “Her fluid balance is positive. She’s usually on pressors.” Jake’s face gets red and he goes, “Then put an order for her.”

It’s kind of funny to observe and to be fair, the nurse does give Jake a minute to go over what he said, leaning his elbow on the counter, eyebrows raised, before he points out, in that damn slow, unimpressed tone, “I can't put orders for things like pressors."

He hands Jake the closest tablet and starts walking away.

Jake calls after him. "What, you're not even going to draft it for me?"

He doesn't even turn around and Javy is silently shaking from the laughter he's holding in, "I thought I wasn't allowed to do that, doctor."

*

Mav comes down to the ER to talk to Rooster on a slower day — about how they’re about to sponsor a new CRNA for the cardiothoracic surg unit and maybe he could put a good word for their development team for Bradley and yada yada.

It happens like that: Mav comes down, Bradley is charting next to the monitors station, Jake is going over a scan on the opposite side when The Dr. Mitchell himself comes down and stops next to Bradley. He gives Bradley and his pink Paw Patrol scrubs a look and clears his throat a couple of times before Bradley raises his gaze toward him, turning away a second later and ignoring him again.

Jake is freaking out — this is The Dr. Mitchell and one of the reasons Jake wanted to work in this exact hospital, along with the rumored to-be-announced cardiothoracic surg fellowship under Dr. Mitchell he had his eyes on. He’s been thinking about how to make contact with Dr. Mitchell since he started in the ER and here he is, telling unresponsive Bradshaw, “I heard you’re looking to go back for your Master’s in the near future.” Bradshaw doesn’t say anything and Dr. Mitchell adds, “We have a CRNA development spot for—” and Bradley tells him, not turning away from the screen, “I’m not an OR nurse,” and then taps his card on the computer’s reader to log out and walks away.

Dr. Mitchell is a fucking legend, a VIP of this hospital, so Jake just stands there, contemplating how the heck Bradshaw could do that and hears him mumbling under his breath, “Really slick, Mav,” and jumps on the opportunity to say, “I’ll be talking to his supervisor about this, his attitude is unacceptable, Dr. Mitchell.”

And Dr. Mitchell turns to him, raises an eyebrow and asks, “Excuse me?” 

“The nurse you were talking to. He might be senior in here but his attitude’s been horrible and I’ll personally step in. This won’t happen again.”

Dr. Mitchell gives him a look before slowly saying, “I suggest you mind your own business, Dr. Seresin,” and walks away.

Nat is silently laughing a few feet away and Jake asks her what’s so funny. His heart dead-ass stops when she says, “You do know Dr. Mitchell is Bradley’s dad, right? They might not be on the best of terms but that’s still his son.” And Jake has the urge to bang his head on the keyboard in front of him. 

* 

TW for transphobia.

There’s a new nurse practitioner to be (graduated, about to get her cert) that's rumored to be a candidate for the charge nurse position. Izzy. She’s quite young for that, younger than Bradley for sure, must have barely worked in the clinical area before going for her Master’s. Jake doesn’t know if it’s on purpose but the nurse manager and Bradley keep on putting her in his section.

She’s—well, she’s a bit too in his face. She agrees with everything Jake says and doesn’t roll his eyes at him, which is boring, and she’s, for an NP, not that knowledgeable. She doesn’t argue with him, which is a change, and Jake starts to hate it after about five hours. Her voice is saccharine sweet, she keeps on standing a bit too close to him at all times, and she’s decent with patients, but she keeps on asking him about the smallest of things.

Jake’s section is less busy, usually, since he deals primarily with trauma in the ER, but she never bounces off to help others when she is free, like Bradley did. She’s clinging to his section, a little bit, and he doesn’t get why. It’s not like he is any nicer to her than to Bradley or any other nurse.

She is busy taking bloods and Bradley finds him when he has a second alone, finally, and enlightens him about why.

“If you don’t believe me, you can just ask any other nurse. Everyone noticed.”

“If you really think that then why do you keep putting her in my sections?”

“I don’t. She’s senior as an NP, she’s taken over allocation from me now.”

Jake’s mind only focuses on one detail. “You were allocating yourself to my sections?”

“Only because no one wants to work with you and because I’m actually certified in trauma.” That makes sense. It’s not like Bradley would work with him voluntarily. “Look, all I’m saying, you watch out — you fool around with her and then reject her and she’s going to HR. I know the type.”

“The type?”

“You know, the girl that thought she’ll become a nurse, snag a rich doctor and never work again? Well, it’s not always women, there are guys who do that too, but in this case, she’s very much the type.”

“And you think she’s trying to—snag me?”

“She’s certainly not going after the residents that are getting paid twelve bucks an hour or Reuben who is married,” he points out. Which, again, fair, even if he didn’t know Reuben is married prior to this strange conversation.

Jake stares at him, processing, until he blurts out, “I’m gay.”

“Then you’ve got nothing to worry about,” Bradley says after a second, eyes barely noticeably a bit wider, before he walks away.

“Was he bothering you, doctor?”

She calls him doctor, always, and it honestly makes him grit his teeth. Now even more. He’s got a bad feeling about it.

It gets confirmed later when Jake is taking care of a six-year-old girl who had fallen down the stairs. She’s dehydrated and Izzy’s just tried to put a cannula on her three times before Jake told her to grab the bedside ultrasound and not make the girl cry even more.

Bradley passes by the room and Jake’s learned that he can’t leave a distressed child alone, so he comes in and gets the parents and the girl relaxed. He’s about to go in and tell him to leave it alone until Izzy brings the ultrasound when Nat grabs him by the arm and tells him, “He was in a Rapid Response Team, I’m pretty sure he can put a cannula in blind. Just let him do it.”

And he does let him. Watches, expecting the girl to burst into tears at any moment but she never does. Bradley’s literally been in the room for less than ten minutes and it’s all back to calmness.

Izzy comes back with the ultrasound. It should not have taken her so long to grab it. “What is he doing there? That's my patient.”

"He said he can put the IV line without the ultrasound.” Well, Nat said so. Jake can’t believe he’s saying but, “He’s a peds nurse, he’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure the girl's parents wouldn’t want him anywhere near her.”

This sets alarm bells in Jake’s head. “What do you mean?”

"People like him shouldn't be around kids," she says, to his horror. She leans in, way closer than needed, and conspiringly whispers, "Dr. Seresin, haven't you known that he is, you know, a she in disguise?"

He’s dumbstruck. "I'm sorry?"

"He's actually a woman, just pretending to be a man because he's mentally—You're the doctor, I'm sure you know better than I how the brains of people like them work. He shouldn't be around that girl, is what I'm saying. I certainly wouldn't like him around my child, if I had one."

Jake didn’t know this about Bradley but he understands what she means, even with how awful she is about it. This, however, should not be a piece of information thrown around in public if Bradley didn't wish to disclose it, and certainly not in such a manner. "And how do you know that, exactly?"

"Nurses share a locker room, it's not hard to notice how she, you know, mutilated herself."

Jake doesn’t say anything out loud but mentally he is preparing datix report in his head. He catches the ER’s nurse manager before he goes home, too, because that’s some shit he doesn’t stand for. He might be an asshole but he’s not a bigot.

Next time he comes to work, Bradley is back in his section and Izzy is no longer employed.

“Thanks,” Bradley says, when they’re at the station, next to each other, in a relatively slow moment. “If I went on my own, we’d have a weeks-long investigation that would probably end with her or me moving to a different unit.”

“She said this shit to your face?”

“Kept calling me she in front of patients,” Bradley admits after a moment. “I think most of them thought they misheard but—I knew.”

“Well, good riddance then.”

Bradley snorts, but he’s looking down at the tablet in his hands, smiling, and wow, the apples of his cheeks are so round and his eyes so bright and Jake can't breathe for a second.

---

(there might be a second part coming because I meant seven-season-long medical drama literally-- including Jake realizing he's an idiot, Mavdad drama, Jake having his hands inside Bradley (in the literal, surgical sense) and jealousy that could rival the McDreamy/Dr. Grey drama)

[sharklovingaquarist]

Ok guys so this is gonna be a long one but Im going to talk about

Male apathy during pregnancy and post partum

Post partum mental distress

How the medical system fails women

How men should do their part

So I just saw a post by a man talking about how men downplay the process of reproduction, and yeah, duh - BUT I've come to a conclusion. There are two types of expectant/new father in this world: the type that treats his wife like a toy or the type that treats his wife like a cute pet and claps for her from the sidelines. "Yeah babe ur so strong" while not doing shit. So in this post, the guy is like "errrrr fellow males, did you know that the nutrients actually come from your wife's body?!?!" Like how is that not common knowledge? The uterus doesn't have little claw arms building a fetus. An embryo is created by a male and female, and that embryo attaches to the uterus and LEECHES from the female bloodstream.

He then he goes on to talk about how much blood we can lose during vaginal birth and c-sections, and Imma just say here and now that the medical system sucks ass. Yeah, birth sucks. Pregnancy sucks. But I kinda hate how people pass of a lot of the pain as a fact of life. The fact is that the medical system is vastly male, and males who put their poorly hidden fetishes into practices (I did veterinary science in highschool, and it was even prevalent there... vaginal speculums and artificial insem- 🤢) I'm sure we've all heard humans should stand to deliver a child. The high death statistic for women in childbirth (also explained by more black women dying than white), the lack of knowledge on the female body, and the priority of babies over women all tells me one thing: Birth is certainly painful, but it may be more dangerous than it should be. My honest opinion is that death rates exploded once men infiltrated our care due to their view of us as a vessel. Maybe if the medical system focused on helping us rather than letting a fetus escape its "flesh box", then we'd be somewhere.

And finally... he talked about post partum mental health... so I've been wanting to talk about this. It has recently become noticeable to me that human females have a hard time mentally after the birth of children meanwhile most animal females don't. Sure, there are cases where animals abandon offspring, but I chalk that up to not being prepared to care for offspring. Nature usually prioritizes an adult over a newborn. Also the abandonment of offspring is something I only really hear about in domesticated animals (and animals in zoos so environmental distress or lack of knowledge), of whom we have fucked over in so many ways through selective breeding. Shit even domestic bettas and angelfish, who are usually good parents, have this issue in domestication. But why is it that other animals don't have nearly as many post partum issues as humans. I'll say it, I believe post partum mental distress is largely due to societal dynamics. Sure, hormones are off, but the society we live in only fuels this. It's like when you're on your period. You feel off but it's more a loss of tolerance. The rise in estrogen near and after birth can cause you to already be a bit unbalanced, but let's add some situations onto it. You're going to be the primary caretaker because of modern male incompetence, then you're going to lose sleep which causes more instability, then you're expected to still cook and clean, and men in most countries don't get paternity (ohhhh I wanna tell yall a story about that so baddddd... its in the comments if ur up for it) so youre left alone with a screaming child while trying to heal and getting no sleep and probably not seeing the sun because youre busy and thats a major mood stabilizer (as someone with a mood disorder) all for the father to come home and play with the infant and pass it right back to you. And we haven't even gotten into the culture surrounding it. Women are expected to put on a loving maternal persona while fathers remain the same. For men being a father is prideful and gives you all these positive characteristics like strength... but for mothers your mind is deemed more simplistic, your identity is erased. People see pregnancy and motherhood as a performance and you are the lead actress. Youre treated differently, percieved differently, and thats fueled by bioessentialism. New moms do not feel more "loving" towards an infant than new fathers. Both secrete oxytocin, it comes with the monogamous, biparental animal package dumbass. Why would I be more loving towards something that sucks my boob off and ripped me open. So while I'm not trying to discredit post partum depression, I'm absolutely saying that societal issues are the pushing force. Im also pretty sure post partum statistics fluctuate based on country, and that in countries with paternity and a more equal dynamic have lower cases. But I'm not mentally stable enough myself to look into it, I know "trust me bro" type shit.

In conclusion 🤓 I'm tired of people seeing female pain and not finding ways to help it. The female body is strong, but it also needs care. You wouldn't expect a person with a broken leg to win a marathon. That's the whole reason males stay with females is to. Do. Their. Part. Idc if I'm picky, but literally, any talk on kids or pregnancy leaves me so dissatisfied. Expect men to start acting like an expectant father and partner during pregnancy. Your job is to comfort, provide, learn how to ease pains, provide emotional labor, drive and GO TO appointments (I think if it was even really "about life" they would look into male health too but that's a convo for another day), pay for appointments, be ready to help in case an emergency, so much more. Cuz it's always "don't drink while pregnant!" But how come the baby daddy can be at the bar with his friends? What if I go into labor? He needs to stay sober too I'm not his broodmare! The way men act like it has nothing to do with them because "well uhhhh I not carry a baby 🤷‍♂️" makes me so mad. As a new father too, they think "well man don't feed baby 🤤" like there isn't so much more. Imo, the man should be doing housework, taking care of the infant besides breastfeeding, and caring for a post partum partner. Even with breastfeeding, you can be involved. Take the infant when it's done eating, sit with your partner, provide company, and bond with your family. I've come to the conclusion that men don't want partners they want a collection. Men cannot accept that they have a weaker role while still being involved. Either he's big strong man or it's weak and my business. And the men that cheer from the side see it as "well she does most of it so that obviously means it's all her business but I'll just tell her she's soooooo strong" not like... telling other men how to do their job. Men are pathetic. Want credit for zero effort.