#which would put me at 241+ wishes

[thelovelymachinery]

Whitehall - The Bottom Floor

Thanks @thecomfywriter for the interest in this.

This will include mentions of abuse, neglect, starvation, and murder. You will be walked through some of the bottom floor. I am so sorry that this took me forever.

The Stairs:

To get to the stairs you have to open the wall and as students rush through the doorway as quickly as possible as to not get caught and killed by the wall. Walking down the stairs you are hit with the stench of blood from every species the school holds. It's nauseating, the sappy scent of Aryd blood mixing with the spicy scent of Pheonix blood and the sour scent of Ekstraness blood mixing with the salty scent of Anadis. The stairs and hall seems perfectly clean but the stench of blood is still all you can smell and notice. The floors almost always have vomit on them and a child on the floor cleaning the staircase trying not to add to the mess. Simply being brought to the staircase was traumatic to the kids and would cause many kids to fall ill and potentially die.

The Hall:

There is only one hallway in the entire bottom floor. This hallway is circular and has rooms on either side, there are at least one hundred rooms connected to this hallway. The scent of blood is far stronger in the hall than in the staircase and unlike the stairs the blood and vomit hasn't been cleaned from the halls. It's the one place in Whitehall that isn't white which is disgusting.

The Rooms:

I don't want to go too in depth with each room so I will give you brief description of the most important rooms.

Room 158:

Room 158 is only mentioned by the other girls and Dion as The Narrator is not pretty enough to be brought down but gods does she wish she was. What she knows of this room is that the most attractive students are brought down to be touched and admired and hurt. The pain changes depending on the person. They're brought down to see and feel how good they are. The students always come back with tear-stained cheeks and incredibly sore.

Room 241:

Room 241 is the room that the students dread the most. All students have been in it and only half of them have exited the room. This room isn't dreaded because of the sexual assaults that occur like in Room 158 or the violence that occurs in Room 309 or even the promised death that Room 705 brings to the students. This room is dreaded by the students because it is where they are forced to take their closest friend's life. This room is where the Narrator lost her name and herself. She killed her baby sister in this room. Since that day she has refused to have a name or to even know her own appearance. This is the room that most damages the students. You die even if you're the one to make it out.

Room 309:

This is the room the students tend to welcome most. It brings so much pain, both physical and mental to the students but at least they are promised life and promised that their closest friend gets to live. At least they get to remain clothed in this room and the only thing to penetrate are bullets, knives, and swords. These students are most able to withstand this physical torture and leave close to how they entered. This room is where the Narrator first met Dulcinea and where she allowed herself to speak to the other girls, to put her heart on the line and her physical wellbeing.

Room 705:

Room 705 brings the students either dread or joy. This room is promised death which most students crave. This room is separated into many different ways of killing the kids. The most commonly used are iron coffins the students would be placed in stimulating the feeling of being buried alive. All of the ways of death are incredibly brutal and take the peace away from death for these poor kids.

And That is all I will share! Please remember that this is a very small amount of what happens in the bottom floor but is mostly the worst parts.

Tagging the taglist.

@an-indecisive-nerd @wyked-ao3 @thecomfywriter @the-letterbox-archives @mysticstarlightduck

@bookwormclover @illarian-rambling @leahnardo-da-veggie @bio-blegh

Interact with this post to be added to the taglist.

Interact to interact (aka be cool, love me)

[fromkenari]

A mass of fools and knaves

The full email exchange between Alex Claremont Diaz and Prince Henry Fox Mountchristen Windsor from Chapter Nine of Red, White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. Put here for my best friend to read.

A mass of fools and knaves A agcd@eclare45.com                8/10/20 1:04 AM to Henry H, Have you ever read any of Alexander Hamilton’s letters to John Laurens? What am I saying? Of course you haven’t. You’d probably be disinherited for revolutionary sympathies. Well, since I got the boot from the campaign, there is literally nothing for me to do but watch cable news (diligently chipping away at my brain cells by the day) and sort through all my old shit from college. Just looking at papers, thinking: Excellent, yes, I’m so glad I stayed up all night writing this for a 98 in the class, only to get summarily fired from the first job I ever had and exiled to my bedroom! Great job, Alex! Is this how you feel in the palace all the time? It fucking sucks, man. So anyway, I’m going through my college stuff, and I find this analysis I did of Hamilton’s wartime correspondence, and hear me out: I think Hamilton could have been bi. His letters to Laurens are almost as romantic as his letters to his wife. Half of them are signed “Yours” or “Affectionately yrs,” and the last one before Laurens died is signed “Yrs for ever.” I can’t figure out why nobody talks about the possibility of a Founding Father being not straight (outside of Chernow’s biography, which is great btw, see attached bibliography). I mean, I know why, but. Anyway, I found this part of a letter he wrote to Laurens, and it made me think of you. And me, I guess: The truth is I am an unlucky honest man, that speak my sentiments to all and with emphasis. I say this to you because you know it and will not charge me with vanity. I hate Congress—I hate the army—I hate the world—I hate myself. The whole is a mass of fools and knaves; I could almost except you … Thinking about history makes me wonder how I’ll fit into it one day, I guess. And you too. I kinda wish people still wrote like that. History, huh? Bet we could make some. Affectionately yrs, slowly going insane, Alex, First Son of Founding Father Sacrilege

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 239-241). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry hwales@kensingtonemail.com                8/10/20 4:18 AM to A Alex, First Son of Masturbatory Historical Readings: The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. Every time you mention your slow decay inside the White House, I can’t help but feel it’s my fault, and I feel absolutely shit about it. I’m sorry. I should have known better than to turn up at a thing like that. I got carried away; I didn’t think. I know how much that job meant to you. I just want to … you know. Extend the option. If you wanted less of me, and more of that—the work, the uncomplicated things—I would understand. Truly. In any event … Believe it or not, I have actually done a bit of reading on Hamilton, for a number of reasons. First, he was a brilliant writer. Second, I knew you were named after him (the pair of you share an alarming number of traits, by the by: passionate determination, never knowing when to shut up, &c &c). And third, some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context. Are you angling for a revolutionary soldier role-play scenario? I must inform you, any trace of King George III blood I have would curdle in my very veins and render me useless to you. Or are you suggesting you’d rather exchange passionate letters by candlelight? Should I tell you that when we’re apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I’ve just been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? I think perhaps Hamilton said it better in a letter to Eliza: You engross my thoughts too intirely to allow me to think of any thing else—you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream—and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness. If you did decide to take the option mentioned at the start of this email, I do hope you haven’t read the rest of this rubbish. Regards, Haplessly Romantic Heretic Prince Henry the Utterly Daft

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 241-243). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves A agcd@eclare45.com                8/10/20 5:36 AM to Henry H, Please don’t be stupid. No part of any of this will ever be uncomplicated. Anyway, you should be a writer. You are a writer. Even after all this, I still always feel like I want to know more of you. Does that sound crazy? I just sit here and wonder, who is this person who knows stuff about Hamilton and writes like this? Where does someone like that even come from? How was I so wrong? It’s weird because I always know things about people, gut feelings that usually lead me in more or less the right direction. I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn’t have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? I wanna see you again and soon. I keep reading that one paragraph over and over again. You know which one. I want you back here with me. I want your body and I want the rest of you too. And I want to get the fuck out of this house. Watching June and Nora on TV doing appearances without me is torture. We have this annual thing at my dad’s lake house in Texas. Whole long weekend off the grid. There’s a lake with a pier, and my dad always cooks something fucking amazing. You wanna come? I kind of can’t stop thinking about you all sunburned and pretty sitting out there in the country. It’s the weekend after next. If Shaan can talk to Zahra or somebody about flying you into Austin, we can pick you up from there. Say yes? Yrs, Alex P.S. Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky—1958: Tho I long for the actual sunlight contact between us I miss you like a home. Shine back honey & think of me.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 243-245). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Re: A mass of fools and knaves Henry hwales@kensingtonemail.com                8/10/20 8:22 PM to A Alex, If I’m north, I shudder to think where in God’s name we’re going. I’m ruminating on identity and your question about where a person like me comes from, and as best as I can explain it, here’s a story: Once, there was a young prince who was born in a castle. His mother was a princess scholar, and his father was the most handsome, feared knight in all the land. As a boy, people would bring him everything he could ever dream of wanting. The most beautiful silk clothes, ripe fruit from the orangery. At times, he was so happy, he felt he would never grow tired of being a prince. He came from a long, long line of princes, but never before had there been a prince quite like him: born with his heart on the outside of his body. When he was small, his family would smile and laugh and say he would grow out of it one day. But as he grew, it stayed where it was, red and visible and alive. He didn’t mind it very much, but every day, the family’s fear grew that the people of the kingdom would soon notice and turn their backs on the prince. His grandmother, the queen, lived in a high tower, where she spoke only of the other princes, past and present, who were born whole. Then, the prince’s father, the knight, was struck down in battle. The lance tore open his armor and his body and left him bleeding in the dust. And so, when the queen sent new clothes, armor for the prince to parcel his heart away safe, the prince’s mother did not stop her. For she was afraid, now: afraid of her son’s heart torn open too. So the prince wore it, and for many years, he believed it was right. Until he met the most devastatingly gorgeous peasant boy from a nearby village who said absolutely ghastly things to him that made him feel alive for the first time in years and who turned out to be the most mad sort of sorcerer, one who could conjure up things like gold and vodka shots and apricot tarts out of absolutely nothing, and the prince’s whole life went up in a puff of dazzling purple smoke, and the kingdom said, “I can’t believe we’re all so surprised.” I’m in for the lake house. I must admit, I’m glad you’re getting out of the house. I worry you may burn the thing down. Does this mean I’ll be meeting your father? I miss you. x Henry P.S. This is mortifying and maudlin and, honestly, I hope you forget it as soon as you’ve read it. P.P.S. From Henry James to Hendrik C. Andersen, 1899: May the terrific U.S.A. be meanwhile not a brute to you. I feel in you a confidence, dear Boy–which to show is a joy to me. My hopes and desires and sympathies right heartily and most firmly, go with you. So keep up your heart, and tell me, as it shapes itself, your (inevitably, I imagine, more or less weird) American story. May, at any rate, tutta quella gente be good to you.

McQuiston, Casey. Red, White & Royal Blue: A Novel (pp. 245-247). St. Martin's Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

[artfightdramaconfessions]

I'm glad the Omu floodgates are opening up cause I had a pretty rough time in that server. I joined because at first it seemed to be a better alternative to artfight minigames, closed community meant there were few farmers (at first), and even though the official standards were lower I'd get back much higher effort pieces from the TPAY games there than in the Artfight server. Also, I respected Omu at the time.

However, I ended up being targeted for exclusion from the minigames quite directly by some new rules. Then I found out from a friend that there was a "secret minigame" channel which would allegedly let everyone participate in eventually, like a "slow rollout," but I was one of only a couple people who didn't have permission to see the channel. At the time, 241/245 people in the Omu server had access to that channel. This was in May of last year so I doubt there's any trace of it now.

All of this put a pretty bad taste in my mouth and as the server continued to grow and become too big and fast for me to interact meaningfully, I ended up not playing the games anymore. So Omu and the mods there got what they wanted and I'm not part of the community anymore. Shit sucks. Wish they'd just ban people they don't like instead of actively repressing them over the course of months. Awful behavior.

.

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #241

Do you have any scented candles in your home? What scent(s)? We tend to use wax melts more often, but I do know that Mom has one in the living room right now. I just can't remember the scent, I just recall the color is yellow.

Are you planning any special outings with family or friends? No.

Who were the last 3 males you talked to? Girt, my psychiatrist, Devin.

What was the last form of communication you used to speak to your best friend? (e.g. text, phone call) Discord.

Do you ever wear lipstick? What colour(s) do you prefer? Not really, but whenever I would put lipstick on for a picture, I prefered black.

Does the person you love/like have a car? What colour is it? Yes, black.

The last person you kissed – are they older or younger than you? He's two years older.

One word to describe your most recent ex? Overdramatic is a kinder one.

Do you like snow? I LOVE snow.

Have you ever seen anyone famous in the street? No, you don't see famous people where I live lol.

What was the first tattoo you got or what would be the first tattoo you’ll get? It was a semicolon butterfly.

Have you ever been late for school or work? School, yes, because I was a pain in the absolute ass to get up. It wasn't by much, but still enough for a tardy. Tardies are the only reason I ever had detention.

Is there a basement in your house? If so, what is it used for? No.

Have you driven a car today? No, I don't drive. It gives me crippling anxiety and makes me an unsafe driver.

Where was your first job and how old were you? GameStop, I was probably 19.

When was the last time you started a new medication? Within the past month.

What is your favorite type of nut? I mean, I like cashew bars. I'm in general not really a nut person.

Can you name all 50 US state capital cities? Nope.

When was the last time you were at a pet store? It's been many months.

Where did you go, the last time you left your house? My sister's house to help Mom watch Nicole's dog.

Do you like your singing voice? No. It sounds okay with some songs, but I don't think it does for most.

Do you think that you’ve ever actually been IN love with someone? Twice.

If so, do you still feel the same way about them? Only one.

Have you ever been to an amusement park? Yes.

Name someone you wish you had never met: I kinda wish I'd never met Sara. Jason hurt me more, but I feel like I needed that experience. I needed nothing I went through with Sara.

Why? We tried being friends so many times, and it always ended ugly. She's said unforgivable things about me. She's a massive reason why I doubt myself and my value. My relationship with her just involved a lot of pain.

Do you still seriously make pinky promises? Yes lol.

What’s your favorite aspect of your life? I don't know. I don't exactly enjoy life lately.

What’s something you find utterly disgusting? Pedophilia, for one. I'm wildly disgusted by people who want it to be included in the LGBTQ+ umbrella.

Who is someone you’ve been enjoying watching on YouTube recently? I've been watching a lot of Game Grumps.

Who was the last of your friends to have a baby? I don't remember.

Have you ever contemplated shaving your head, and if so, why? Not entirely, no. I did cut my hair very short though.

Which family member did you get your height from? My mom.

Which TV channel did you watch the most as a kid? Animal Planet if I was watching alone. With my sisters, Disney Channel was normally on.

Do you prefer black tea, herbal tea, or green tea? I hate tea.

What do you think of hypnosis? Do you believe in it? I believe it's bullshit.

Do you think you look better with long hair or short hair? Short.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes, for an asthma attack.

Which did you have first: Myspace or Facebook? Myspace.

What color was your nursery when you were a baby? I don't believe I had a nursery. I suppose possibly in the house I was born into, I don't remember it whatsoever, but.

Do you have a rug in your room? Not exactly, the entire floor is carpeted.

Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? Only with boyfriends I'd been with for a while, and because I dated mature fucking people, they didn't care.

In-N-Out, ever been there? If not, what’s a good burger place around your town? No. I just go to basic bitch places that everyone has lol. We do have Cook Out here, but I don't think I've tried their burgers, I've been there like twice.

Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? No.

How many people have texted you today? Did you reply to all of them? I haven't texted anyone.

How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? I wouldn't care at all, I know he wants at least one.

Was your last text message from someone of the opposite sex? No.

Where was the last place on your body that you felt physical pain? My back has been bothering me quite a lot lately.

Can your significant other/crush sing? Very well.

Who was the last person you apologized to? What did you apologize for? I don't remember.

Did you straighten your hair today? I never straighten my hair.

Would you spend the night in a haunted house? Yes.

Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza? Yes.

Can you call your ex without it being awkward? No.

Do you drink bottled water? Not in my daily life. We use a filter and then I drain the water into my own cup.

Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Hell no.

Have you ever given out your number and then regretted it? No.

Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? No, there is no reason my ex would need me specifically.

Does the thought of marriage scare you? No.

Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No.

How many teeth have you had extracted? Two, both my only wisdom teeth.

What’s a popular candy that you do not like? Snickers.

Do you ever have to babysit? So, I'm WITH my mom when she babysits my nieces and nephew, but tbh I don't exactly take part in caring for them. I mean, I'll interact, but that's the extent of it. I am not a kid person.

Have you ever lucid dreamed? Once.

Have you ever intentionally killed an animal for fun? Hell fucking no.

Do you like mangoes? So I actually hate mangoes themselves because of texture, but I LOVE the flavor of mango.

Do you enjoy playing board games? I don't.

Have you ever made your boy/girlfriend choose between you and someone else? No.

Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No.

Are you a monogamous person? Or do you hate commitment? I'm personally monogamous, but I have no issue with people who aren't.

Have you ever met someone in person that you first met online? Yes.

Is weed legal in your state? It's not.

Out of all your usernames for websites, which one is your favorite? Do you use it for more than one site? Ozzkat. I use it almost everywhere.

Have you ever spent the whole day (or multiple days) just looking up one thing on the internet (e.g., videos of your favorite band, how-to videos, quizzes, etc.)? Oh ABSOLUTELY.

Which condiment (ketchup, mustard, etc.) do you use the most of? I think ketchup.

Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? Yes.

Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? No, I'm not a headbanger.

Do you own many pairs of shorts? I own no shorts.

Have you ever taken a close-up shot of a flower? Yes, I'm a nature photographer.

When was the last time you sang out loud to yourself? It's been a very long time. I don't sing.

On a hot day, would you prefer ice cream or a popsicle? Ice cream.

Have you played cards recently? No.

Have you ever been to New York? Not the city, but the state. I have family there.

Does your optimism sometimes hurt you? I'm not optimistic, so...

Are you currently saving for anything? I literally don't have a dollar to my name. I don't have a source of income.

Have you ever gotten stitches? A couple times. For my concussion wound and after my cyst removal surgery.

When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? Not too terribly long after I dyed my hair lilac.

Would you consider yourself to be physically strong? No.

Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes actually, I helped Jason paint a big dresser-like thing.

Do you have a really fat cat? No, Roman is healthy. He has an obvious primordial pouch like some cats do, but that's normal.

Do your initials spell a word? No.

When was the last time you questioned someone’s intelligence? I was reading the Facebook comments on a video in Paris that showed how extreme homelessness is, and people were so fucking disgusting. Like people CHOOSE homelessness or something and their existence on the streets "dirties" the city. No one SHOULD have to live on the street, but their fucking existence doesn't make the city itself filthy. People have no goddamn empathy.

Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No.

Have you ever had an idea that you just couldn’t put on paper? Oh yes, this is the bane of creatives.

Do you own a pool? No, not like we have the space in our yard. Only a kiddie pool could fit.

Have you ever been severely burned? No.

Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I've oddly had these dreams a lot.

[spaciousreasoning]

Birthday Rain

There was a slight bump up on the blood sugar on Saturday morning, to 241. So we went once again with an oatmeal breakfast. After the usual coffee and morning “brain games.”

While Nancy puttered about doing a few chores, I wasted 20 minutes on a video about dealing with diabetes. All that time was spent talking about “science” and teasing the info on the solution. I knew they were preparing to sell something. I just wished they had gotten there quicker. Not that I was tempted to buy into it, but my real curiosity was about the actual product. There seem to be plenty of products showing up on my Facebook feed.

There had been rain in the forecast, starting around 5 p.m., but it showed up at least a couple of hours early, accompanied by thunder and lightning. We hope there won’t be any new fires starting in the area. Or anywhere else the lightning was active.

I was still enjoying the new book when the rain began. When my eyes tired, I switched to the computer, where I uploaded the newest edition of “BudZine” and the posted about it on Facebook. The subject was “Exploring Oregon” and featured sights we have seen so far and some we still hope to view.

It was still raining by the time we took off for Nancy’s daughter’s birthday gathering out in Marcola. We stopped first at Albertson’s to pick up some tortilla chips and whipping cream and strawberries to go with the pound cake one of the other attendees was bringing.

Along the way to the party there were clouds in and among the hills which would have made some lovely pictures, had it not still been pouring. More rainy weather will be coming, since we are approaching that time of the year, so there will no doubt be more opportunities for some nice photography.

Kalen, the birthday girl, was wearing a sash announcing “it’s my birthday” and a plastic tiara. The other women present also had tiaras, and a couple of the younger men put one on for a time. I declined an invitation to wear one. Most of them wound up broken before we left.

Dinner consisted of taco makings, including a mixture of ground venison and beef, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, pinto beans, guacamole, salsa and cilantro. Grandson Kyle had also brought some potatoes from his garden along with a large glass pitcher filled with some tea he had brewed.

In addition to Nancy and me present at the celebration were Kalen and her husband, their three children with their partners, and three other friends. We had to leave just after 8 p.m. so we could get home in time to pill Grace the cat. Some of the others were taking off at the same time, including Kyle and his wife, Seran, who should be giving birth in about a month.

After taking care of the cat, we settled in to watch another episode of “Midsomer Murders.” This one featured just two murders, and both victims were photographers. Part of the plot focused on the dissension between groups of photographers over traditional film and “newfangled” digital.

I had no trouble at all switching to digital, once it became affordable. Being able to shoot without changing rolls of film was a wonderful gift. And the equipment has only improved over the year.

[istherewifiinhell]

Reading progress: chapter 243 (oh my god no i didnt give up just. gah. life)

reading highlights: in which keeping notes for a very long story pays off, i didnt remember shit. my general track record of focusing on one interest over time is, very bad. also in which i have to manifest a second voice to encapsulate my reactions

222 yjh prev death trauma

223 swk new sugar daddy/whale

kdj fan of hiatus media when theres a new drop

yjh pov beloved. asmodeus grabbing yjh face and calling him pretty, alright

HHH ORV kdj showing up all possessive. jesus

hes doing a flatliners

225 Constellation who likes to change sex (-> CWLTCS) wants you to change your sex

kdj did you just invent corporate shares

argh the drama of claiming to be yjh sponsor then looking to (real sponsor) to save (yjh)

226 kdj gething fucked up abt yjh "death"

novel revision yjh is sooooooo

everyone politely giving the room to dokhyuk reunion

yjh said bluntly/expressionlessly. yes. but have you considered hes being the sweetest man in the world. -> referencing the very end of the chapters where yjh fills in what the rest of the company have been doing, and when kdj kinda existential crisis's about it tells him that his (kdj's) story, is still being told "Lets go back to Earth, Kim Dokja"

227 yes kdj yjh is clearly trying to steal your valour and send you back to earth thats why hes doing ID theft

228 Kdj: this person is so beautiful, beyond words.

↳ (—_—): How Beautiful Are They?

↳ kdj: ... 3 YJH's.

↳ (—_—): YAY!

229 peanut gallery: kdj arent you gay?? dont look at women...

Foodie and [tech] guy yjh [-> cant read my own writing]

YJH & JHY transphobic beef

231 yjh hiding in a tree

omg. doggie. sounds like it looks like my dog

↳ STANDS ON TWO LEGS. okay.

↳ the dog blew hmo out of the house.

↳ "The confrontation between man and dog was filled with unbelievable tension"

232 "There were probably no dogs in the Star System stronger than the Breaking the Sky Master"

3 METER TALL WOMEN! SHE SMOKES A PIPE!

233 Yjh is just being spanked... have i got that right?

gah kdj's constellation messages kill me

yjh prespective on kdj clownery beloved

234 yjh puts kdj behind himself as kdj does his saying inflammatory shit thing

235 via Yjh -> uriel is really strict and lofty when she doesnt have fujo brain rot

yjh 100 years old? more??

yjh said this and thought he was talking like kdj -> AHA!

Breaking the Sky Sword wasn't originally for men -> the problem of gender can be resolved "CWLTCS is snorting"

↳ complex emotions about that huh?

236 OUR nebula

cowboy carriage footman?

Novel revision yjh: It would have been nice if he had come with me

kdj being given story food -> me: wow just like silverwing! (sunwing in particular... i think)

237 "Yes, an unexpected accident. An accident that happens accidentally"

KDJ SICKO MODE/angry protective dad mode

ORO castle... Immeasurable Austerity -> I think rich people eat the poor maybe

DO appreciate kdjs constant "Dream Bigger" energy

238 persephone and uriel being little dokhyuk shits

kdj problems time

kdj trying to hype up his comfort novel on social media to no avail

240 "Please tell me exactly precisely."

okay so lotr

"It might be time to admit it. I had become the 'constellation' I hated"

Iris loves che and early marx hell yeah girl (1 point to orv teens and being really philosophically well read)

↳ oh seriously hell yeah girl

↳ "Iris cursed something that wasn't 'capital' ... the star stream" Hmm, Debatable

241 kdj I wish I could offer something to this scared child but i can only do this trade! -> i mean, you are saving her life?

Eoren's sword. Eowyn... Arwen? -> only women can wield it. yep checks out

242 once again I realise how great Yjh is -> yeah.. I know bud

"Yjh overcame (breaking the sky sword female only nature) with great effort." hmm. mh hm. yup. arduously, I bet. sure man, w/e

Rotating: now there are some very juicy tid bits here with yjh past hinting, and a few scenes from his pov even. similarly kdj confronting, just a bit, the means towards his end are leading to him to some interesting places. that said, in an effort to motivate myself to just read the dang thing. i feel myself really just focusing on giggling at all the delightful dokhyuk baiting and the more just comical aspects. like. horton hears a WHO CARES-- THIS DOG CAN DUEL. in order to get the joy of having fun notes on and thoughts about this story, i must in fact, keep reading it.

[wonda-cat]

Some Thoughts on Tommy’s most recent stream (4/29)

(For the record, this isn’t going to be like my other formal analyses. I’m genuinely just ranting here, possibly unedited too. I’m only referring to the characters, unless stated otherwise.

Also obvious warning, this will be fairly negative/critical of the DSMP’s writing, so scroll past if that might bother you. I tend to criticize the media I love, so this is just par for the course in my case.)

Let’s start off with—

The Things I Liked

All of the comedy at the beginning of the stream was wonderful. Ghostbur was incredibly endearing and entertaining as usual, as well as the moments between bench trio. Tommy’s change of plans made sense and the entire journey through the prison was tense and fun to watch. As well as the moment Tommy got caught (it was inevitable.) 

It goes without stating, but cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy’s acting was wonderful—they knocked it out of the park. I liked the little moments of Tommy calming Ghostbur down as Sam screamed at him. I also loved Wilbur's speech about his time in the afterlife when bench trio found him. 

As well as the moment with Wilbur admiring the sky and calling it ‘his sunrise.’ I’m also glad that the afterlife was explained to be caused by the Revival Book’s existence and not some general eternal torture every character will be sentenced to regardless of anything they did in life. 

But, sadly, that’s about where I stop and have to go into what I didn’t like as much, which is—

Everything Else

I’ll be talking about my major gripes with this particular stream in later bullet points down the line, but for now I’ll bring up the little things that annoyed me. This is all basically nit-picking and isn’t as awful or badly written as some of the others I’ll be discussing later. 

First off, Why is Ranboo There? In the stream before this one, Tommy had Tubbo promise to not tell anyone else about their plan. Did he just decide to tell Ranboo anyway? Why? What was the point of asking him to keep it secret if it didn’t matter? 

Adding to this, Tubbo and Ranboo were rather unnecessary for any of the other scenes that took place. They didn’t have any meaningful conversations with Tommy besides Ranboo asking why he was dreading Wilbur’s revival so much, as well as Wilbur’s comments to Tubbo about him being president. But other than that they have little to no notable speaking lines. 

They don’t Do Anything? Sure, they’re nice to have present so Tommy can vent to someone else and find comfort but, in the end, Ranboo was oddly angry and accusatory with Tommy and Tubbo was practically absent from the scene. The impression I got from Tommy and Tubbo’s conversation in the previous stream implied that Tubbo would be serving a larger role as a distraction, but I guess they changed gears or something? 

Then we have Ghostbur’s involvement, which, yeah, makes sense. Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo are not allowed inside the prison, so it’s best to find someone else who can get in without suspicion. But my first assumption, upon seeing Ghostbur with the group was, “Oh, he’s gonna go in there and Dream’s gonna use him to revive Wilbur. That’s the only reason why Ghostbur is here and not anyone else, who would also be willing to kill Dream. It’s not like they’re in short supply right now.”

And I ended up being right, which only frustrated me more. I wanted something unexpected. Something new. Something interesting. Yet, I got the most predictable outcome instead—Tommy fails, Wilbur is revived. 

Next, we have another big serving of ‘Tommy gets blamed for things he has no control over’ part 241. I am so, so sick of characters getting unreasonably mad at and blaming Tommy for anything and everything. It’s not new, it’s not interesting, it’s not fun. It’s just miserable. 

It is,, awful. And it’s highkey frustrating. I refuse to sit through another arc of Tommy being endlessly hurt and blamed for stuff he didn’t do or cannot control. Pick a new event in the plot. 

Try something out of left field. Do something, anything different to this. I’m begging you. 

Now, we get into the major writing pitfalls and shortcomings. Starting with—

We Need to Talk About Sam

I have no idea what is going on with Sam’s character right now. It is so genuinely confusing. I have no clue why Sam reacted the way he did to Tommy because it just doesn’t make any sense. Sam’s entire inner conflict is about him trying to cultivate and protect his humanity and morality while upkeeping a strict, closed-off demeanor.

He follows the rules, even if it hurts the people he loves. Even if these codes force him into a position to be unethical. He feels it is his responsibility should anything go wrong or if Dream escapes, because it puts others in danger.

His strict approach got Tommy killed, and it also took a life and an arm from Ponk. Both of these people are precious to him. So why on earth would he threaten to kill Tommy when, in their last interaction, he was glad he was alive—after he promised to never let something like that happen again?

He respected Tommy’s wishes to stay away from him, and rather politely too. Why would he then threaten to kill him just after weeks of saying Tommy’s death was his biggest regret? That’s not even touching on Sam saying, “This is why I let you die,” as well as blaming Tommy for something that was directly a result of his own refusal to act.

Why didn’t he have Ghostbur also hitch a ride on the same platform with Tommy? Why did he even let Ghostbur into the prison in the first place if he:

A.) Told Ranboo he wasn’t going to let anyone in there after what happened to Tommy.

B.) Also wouldn’t let people in lest they find out about Quackity’s plan.

C.) Couldn’t even kill Ghostbur because he’s incorporeal and thus cannot fully upkeep the contracts he is signing.

There’s also the issue of Sam breaking the rules he abides by when he decided to not kill Tommy after he snuck into the prison, despite it being in the contract. Why is it different now? He went against his own protocol but was also following it by refusing to let Ghostbur come back to the other platform?

Why does Sam refuse to listen to Tommy? Their argument is mind-numbingly ridiculous. Sam refuses to hurt Dream, despite him only being alive because Sam claimed Tommy wanted him alive.

But now Tommy is there, begging Sam to let him kill Dream, and Sam just goes, “No. We’re not killing Dream.” Fucking why??? Sam! You said you wanted to kill Dream at least four times by now! Maybe more!

You were on your way to do it with Quackity and the only thing that stopped you was your promise to Tommy. But now Tommy’s here, telling you to kill Dream and you fucking won’t???? I am absolutely baffled.

No matter how you spin it, it makes no fucking sense. However, if I tried,,, I could possibly come up with a reason or two. Maybe Dream is blackmailing him. Maybe Quackity is forcing him to keep Dream alive until he can get the info he needs (even though,,, why would he trust Quackity over Tommy, who he’s outwardly stated he trusts just as much, if not more?)

It feels like these plots are dancing around each other, trying to keep up this faux sense of conflict that doesn’t exist. But, here’s the thing, contrived conflict is never compelling. I can’t overstate it enough.

Dream’s Plan is Complete Nonsense

The method to revive Wilbur makes Dream seem even more short-sighted than I remember commenting on, during the stream where Tommy was brought back to life. He told Tommy that his plan was to test the book to see if it worked (which, okay fine, I can buy this.) But then he says all along he was planning to revive Wilbur in order to break out of prison, which is ???? This is baffling if he needed Ghostbur in order to pull this off. 

Which,,, I can’t even begin to explain how ridiculous it is that Dream’s entire plan hitched on not only the book working on people to begin with (which he tested on Tommy,,, for some reason, even though he would’ve lost his ‘favorite toy’ if he fucked it up. Which,, why even take that chance in the first place? there are other visitors he could’ve tried this with, surely. Like Sapnap and Bad,,) and it also relied on Ghostbur voluntarily going into the prison just to visit Dream?? And if he didn’t need Ghostbur after all, then why didn’t he bring Wilbur back weeks ago? 

That’s not even getting into the issue of Dream assuming that Wilbur, once brought back, would: 

A.) Want to be alive in the first place.

B.) Actually be willing to help Dream, instead of telling him to fuck off.

C.) Be even slightly capable of helping him at all when he has no allies, no PVP skill, no weapons, no armor, and no knowledge of the prison or its innerworkings. 

Why are the current DSMP writers so committed to making me think Dream is a fucking idiot? I don’t enjoy this. I used to like his character and think he was smart. Stop. 

ALSO, why did Tommy or Tubbo or Ranboo not think of the possibility that Ghostbur could very well be necessary to revive Wilbur? Why did that not cross any of their minds? It was the first thing I thought of when I saw him.

Another big thing that irks me is Tommy and Sam saying they saw Dream physically holding the Revival Book, which,,, how? Why? Dream said in previous streams that he burned the book and that was entirely the thing that kept him from being killed outright. If there was a book still in existence, did he hide it somehow? 

How did Quackity not find it? Why did Sam not take it from him when he was first arrested?? What? 

Also how the fuck did Dream kill a ghost?? They’re incorporeal? How does he not need the body to perform necromancy? That seems almost redundant. 

Also it took a matter of seconds to perform? It took,,, ?? nothing but words and sheer willpower to bring someone back to life? Why does it seem so easy? My mans just,, uses his vibes to bring people back from the dead??? 

Unless the book has instructions regarding that or has a proportional price in order to use, then I’d be more forgiving. But I’m guessing it doesn’t have too steep a cost if Dream could offer Tommy immortality despite that. But I’m sure we’ll get more information on this once Quackity (inevitably) gets his hands on the book. Hopefully… 

Which brings me to my last point—

Wilbur’s Revival (Derogatory)

Since the Revival Book was introduced, I have been actively dreading Wilbur being revived. It is the most predictable, low-hanging fruit of a plotline I could possibly conceive of. I understand that he’s a fan-favorite with a large audience (I love Wilbur more than you’d expect. cc!Wilbur is actually the reason I got into the DSMP in the first place), but there are other characters who could be developed more—utilized more. 

Unpopular opinion, I know, but I am just so incredibly unenthused about this plot development. In fact, I’d almost go so far as to say hate it. 

The Revival Book in and of itself is my least favorite thing the DSMP has ever introduced. It is a lack of consequences simplified. It’s also a lack of commitment to those mortal consequences. 

It is a ‘get out of jail free’ card for when they kill off a character and don’t want to deal with the hole that character will leave behind. Or a way to work around the reason they shouldn’t kill Dream on the spot. 

With Wilbur back again, I no longer feel compelled by his arc the way I used to. There is nothing to really leave a lasting impact anymore. Of course, there was a cater where L’Manburg once stood, but that was dug even deeper later on. You can’t make the death of a friend, of a loved one, worse than it is. It is death. 

The thing I found extremely interesting about Wilbur’s death is the way the other characters portrayed loss. It has consistently been the thing that was most comforting to me, oddly enough. When people die, there will always be loose ends. 

There will be holes left behind and things left unsaid. An unfulfilled promise. A forgotten relationship. A hollow memory.

What I always found compelling was the way Tommy and Fundy and Niki took this mutual loss and had to live with it. How they had to come to terms with the fact that Wilbur was gone and he wasn’t coming back. That they had to make peace with his memory, his legacy, and their connection to him. 

That they’d miss him and love him or hate him and try to forget him. It is a tragedy that someone like Wilbur wanted to die for so long, and in the end, he did. Because in reality, the people you love will die. 

There may be someone in your life that leaves you behind and all you’re left with is the broken pieces. And it is how these characters move on that brings me bittersweet company as someone who’s lost a lot of people. There is nothing more irritating than a story going back on its establishments—to have their cake and eat it too. 

All I want is the bare minimum—a story with narrative stakes and consequences.

The only way I could ever see myself enjoying this plot development is if Wilbur has a redemption arc and attempts to make amends with Tommy, Fundy, Niki, and Eret. OR if he aids in Dream’s downfall in some way and enjoys the simple realities of life and wants to live for the sake of living. I’d find that at least new and somewhat interesting. 

But if he’s just here to be a moustache toiling villain (or somehow worse than after his previous downward spiral), when the market is already so deeply oversaturated with antagonists, then I will probably drop the series altogether. 

Hopefully it doesn’t come to that because I love the Dream SMP and I want to keep loving it for as long as I can. 

I will hold onto more reasons to stay, so long as they keep giving them to me.

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 9

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 241: Shit day at work. To cut a long story short, I could complete a task Sueanne gave to me and then I got it in the ear, including a snotty email ay 5:40pm. Pissed off.

Day 242: Had a meeting with Sueanne (our weekly 1-2-1 actually) and she was alright. I feel much better tonight. Last night I didn’t even have an appetitie - unheard of! Going to make up for that tonight, pie and loads of veg! A much better day. Ridiculously, I believe yesterday was all my own fault - I take work for granted sometimes and I let myself down by ignoring the urgency of a task just because it was Sueanne asking me to do it and she was a peer. She is now my boss, and I should respect that.

Day 243: So-so day at work. It’s strange how used to work I am after over six months on furlough. It’s been less than two months back but all the highs and lows amd frustrations are commonplace. Most importantly, it being Thursday, I cannot wait for tomorrow eveninga dn to kick back, drink and smoke. Spoke to dad this morning, he’s same as...that’s always good to know. Sugar levels have been a fucking roller coaster today, and it has really fucked me off! No salad at lunch due to them being so fucking high when I got back from my walk. It ended up being my tea. Sarted watching The Undoing...it’s OK. 

Day 244: Glad it is Friday. Just cooking a (very hot) chicken madras, cracked open my first beer. Gonna eat, drink, smoke and watch a good film.

Day 245: Gold was the film I watched last night, with Matthew McConaughey and it was a good choice. I then watch a Kevin Hart stand up show on Netflix...very Eddie Murphy, very funny. I did a 12 km walk today...fucking felt it in my legs. Walked the footpath from Stoke Doyle road to Benefield road for the first time. I liked it and it comes out between Lytham Park and Wakerley Close....I posted on FB about the fact that when I move to Oundle, Clifton Drive was the last street heading out of town. Saw Becks on the walk down Benefield road, She mentioned she’s tired of lockdown. I replied that I’m tired of the virus!

Day 246: Up at 1pm, nice long walk, ordered new slippers and waterproof jacket (my Craghopper is bust again).

Day 247: I screwed up at work today, went for a (ridiculously) late lunch right when I was meant to be at an online meeting that Sueanne had reminded me about in the morning. There’s mitigation but, when push comes to shove, I fucked up and now Sueanne’s on the warpath - one more slip up and it’ll be an offical disciplinary matter. 

Day 248: Suzanne wants me to troubleshoot a ticket she has in her queue, some database request for a Cork guy. It’s a test and it’s fucking me off.

I did testing for a network change tonight...8 till 11:15pm.

Elliot and Aaron cleaned the windows today. It was nice to see them.

Rita sent a couple of emails recently. Dad’s ear is all clear but Paul has got testicular cancer.

Day 249: New waterproof jacket arrived today. It’s very nice, bargain for £25 odd. Also picked up slippers from M&S food hall in Corby so, while over their, did a shop at Tesco’s...£109 mainly booze.

By the time I was back, I ended up doing my evening walk at 9.30pm!

Day 250: Leigh from Oundle Chronicle has got back to me. She (he?) has selected the photos that are going to be in the article and wants me to write a sentence on each - where they were taken and what inspited me to do so. Whether that means the stuff I wrote before is not going to be used, or not, I dunno! New slippers are OK and the new jacket is still impressing me.

Day 251: Typing on Day 252. Usual Friday, beers, meatballs, pizza, long chat with Fog. I should mention that, as we approach the end of Lockdown2 in England, Boris and his government have laid out a three tier structure for how the second lockdown will be eased. It’s caused confusion and consternation across the board. None of it affects me, still isolating like I was on day 1. Day 252: Totally forgot about my diary entry yesterday! Up at 1pm, nice long walk, nipped rong Elliots to pay for my windows, had a chat with him, Artron and Camilla - it’s so nice to socialise! Gonna make fish pie and supp a few ales. Day 253: The weekend is over way too quickly. It’s 7.30pm on Sunday as I type and I wish it wasn’t. I wish it was 7.30pm on Friday. Day 254: In a meeting, a working Zoom, with Andy Ashler in the US re: qfiniti, which Sueanne pissed me off about earlier in te day (RCI diary updated), but the meeting went well. I am desparately trying to buy an iPad on Black Monday. As usual with tech, I cannot make my mind up which to buy! Day 255: I haven’t bought an iPad....I’ll wait for the 10.2″ iPad to come down in price. I had more involvement with Andy Ashler and in the US with the Qfiniti project at work. I’m really enjoying it, it’s very technical...although I didn’t finish ‘til 6pm because of it. The Oundle Chronicle is out and an article about me and my pics is on the back page. Leigh, the editor, sent it to me electronically. It’s good. I am chuffed!  Day 256: I booked some holidays today, making sure that I didn’t include any days off in the week December 14-18 (SB’s off). So, this coming Friday (4th Dec), Next Weds-Fri and Monday 21st. I know I have only been back from Furlough a couple of months but I am more than ready for some kick-back time.  1-2-1 with SB today, it was a relaxed affair, most espcially becaus eof my success thus far with the Qfiniti project - that being said, I got pretty much nowhere with it today.  Ordered a couple of long sleeved Ts and a fleeced hoody from a shop called Doubletwo today, well cheap in the sale. I saw half a dozen joggers on the Milton Road blind bend tonight, oblivious to any other potential path user. I posted about it (in my own, sarcastic way) on the Oundle Chatter FB group. It was met how I’d expected plus some direct digs so I deleted it. Cowardly but, I figure, I don’t get my point across, the vast majority of joggers really don’t think they are doing anything wrong by bulldozing there way around town and, lastly, I couldn’t be bothered with the flak, and its tennis like back-and-forth!

Day 257: Got tomorrow off so worked late tying up loose ends, including the qfiniti project - fucking nuts really, making sure no one asks any questions of SB or the team, in terms of my work load, for just one day off! Still, just had tea, cracked open a beer and am watching Shaun of the Dead. Nice.

Day 258: The main thing I did today is walk. It was about 12km but felt much longer ‘cos it was wintry, pissing down, windy and slippery as fuck. And I really enjoyed it! Badge messaged me today to ask how I am and, in replying, I mentioned that I think I am becoming addicted to walking...it wasn’t a throwaway comment. Just cooked up a chilli (which I think I have ruined with a Knorr beef stock pot), and will tuck in with beers, smokes and telly. While it’s been a day off, this Friday evening will be as all others are at the moment, late, drunken and solitary fun - no doubt.

Day 259: Typing on day 260. That chilli last night was actually OK. Plus I ‘invented’ a meatball wrap - moving on from the TikTok ham and cheese wrap you fold into the toaster, I tried the same with meatballs but no fucking way could I fold it into the toaster slot (pissed up kitchen shenanigans), so I wrapped it in tin foil and heated it in the oven, Fucking delicious. I watched Shaun of the Dead. I think it’s the first time since its release and I couldn’t help thinking “zombies just aren’t like that [in real life]” Wtf?

Day 260: I was quite sensible (for a Saturday) last night, in bed by 2am, up at my alarm this morning, 10:30am. Nice long walk, taking in a new path up by Biggin Grange and took plenty of pics that turned out really good. Btw, posh lost yesterday at Portsmouth (with 2000 fans there) and they lost midweek and last weekend in the FA Cup to Chorley, at home. 

Day 261: It’s freezing today...actually 0 degrees. This house is so fucking cold, even with the heating on.

Day 262: Typing on day 263. Last day of work for 5 days. Beers are in order. And a sausage casserole. Day 263: I completely forgot to do a diary entry yesterday....concentrating on starting my work break off on the right foot, which I did. As a result, I didn’t get up until 1pm. So, to stop that sort of day wasting, no beers tonight. Just got back from a shop (£90 in Tesco’s), trying to sort out Romiley’s Christmas present, then something to eat (more sausage casserole) and a early, sober night.

Day 264: So, after abstinence last night, I was up before 11am and did a walk that included the track from Benefield Road to Monson Way past Park Wood. It was fucking hard work due to mud. I have lost coumd the amount of times I nearly slipped right over. Throw into that a hypo, the 12-13km walk was tough. Sorted out Romiley’s present (guitar stand, music stand and guitar exercises book). Took soime nice photos today as well which I’ve prepared and shared. No booze today/tonight either. Some break, a younger me would say!

Day 265: Friday, and I am typing with a beer, balti on the hob and I am just gonna choose a film and roll a single skinner. I am knackered. Up at 10am, cleaned the hall and stairs after a 10km walk. Also, I spoke with dad who is, as always, fine.

Time to make up for the last two sober nights.

Day 266: I am typing this on day 267. So drunk last night I left nearll a full can of beer and went to bed in my jogging bottoms and t-shirt. I have had a day off from any exercise at all which felt very odd. A few beers and watched Snatch. Day 267: While I was nowhere near drunk last night, due to sleeping in late (2pm) I was up ‘til 3am watching TikTok so today I struggled out of bed at just before 1pm. Watch the start of the season’s final GP (Verstappen won from pole and it was boring af), back on the exercising including a 9km walk. Back to work tomorrow which I feel totally conflicted about! Posh won yesterday at home to Rochdale (with the allowed 2000 fans) 4-1 including a 17 minute first half hatrick from Jonson Clarke-Harris.

Day 268: Back to work - Sueanne’s off and it’s the first day I’ve been at work with Jon in charge which involves a daily ‘SUMO’ (whatever that acronym stands for?) at 9.30am every day. I am still involved with te qfiniti upgrade project which seems to have taken a step backwards in the 3 days I had off, so I was working until gone 9.30pm! I have decided to do a quiz, hopefully for Christmas, whereby I don’t want the actual answers (to 25 particular questions, all with a common theme in the answer), merely an omitted question!  

Day 269: Stand Up Meeting Online. SUMO. Ian Bird told me. I might struggle with double Y for my quiz. Work was OK, more Qfiniti stuff. Posh drew away to MK 1-1. Posh were 0-1 up but Lincs lost at home. I can’t undertsand why that pleases me so....oh, yeah I can Steve Dee.

Day 270: Struggling to order Dad and Rita booze for Christmas without it being a Morrison’s delivery that I can do through Amazon Prime. That would be OK but it’s just a bit clinical! Meanwhile, now I am paying for Prime, and they are showing some Premiership games (for example, tonight I watched Liverpool v. Spurs (2-1), I really have to contact Sky - I am paying £71pm atm! Sam posted pic of her Christmas tree but mentioned how she’s finding it hard to get in the spirit - Paul has testicular cancer and the outlook is bleak - fuck know’s what she’s going through with all that, trying to shield Romiley from the worst without lying!

[skepticalcatfrog]

Shattered Crown Chapter 2

First Chapter Previous Chapter Next Chapter Masterpost

Summary: After disaster strikes in Prince Roman's kingdom, he must go on a quest in order to take back the crown that is rightfully his. He will travel with three companions on an epic adventure, gaining many friends and enemies along the way. Those three companions are an intelligent inventor With a mysterious past, a cheerful wizard With a dark secret, and.. the assassin who was sent to kill him two years prior.

Pairings: (Eventual) Prinxiety and Logicality

Word Count: 3, 241

Author's Notes: The second installment of Shattered Crown! I've got a couple chapters done already, which is why this is being posted so soon.

“I'm still very confused. How did you even know it was me?” The assassin asked, sliding the daggers into a pouch on his belt.

“Well first of all, your voice. I thought it was familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on where I'd heard it before.” Roman explained. “But what really gave it away was your eyes. I hadn't seen anything like them before that night. Then when you looked at me, I remembered the assassin's eyes, and I noticed that your eyes had the same mesmerising effect. It's really just all about being observant.” He shrugged. If he was being honest, the assassin still scared him. No matter how confident he acted, it was just that. An act. He didn't trust him. He didn't know who he trusted anymore.

“Virgil, are we going to be departing soon?” Logan asked, folding up a map and putting it in the satchel that was hanging by his side.

“Where are you going?” Roman asked.

“Nowhere you need to know about.” Virgil answered.

“And why is that?” Roman narrowed his eyes.

“Because you're an idiot and shouldn't even be here in the first place.” Virgil shrugged.

“Excuse me?” Roman's voice was indignant.

“You heard me. You're stupid. You could've gone back you know.” Virgil stepped forward. He pulled out a dagger and put the flat part of the blade against Roman's cheek in the time it took him to blink. “You're lucky that I decided you're not worth my time, or you'd probably be dead right now.”

Roman's eyes widened. He hated this guy.

“That's quite enough, Virgil.” Logan told him, pulling his hand away from Roman.

Virgil scowled at Logan, putting the dagger back where he'd gotten it from. Roman let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in.

“Now, we really should be going.” Logan dusted off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves to the elbows. Virgil pulled his hood over his head and put the mask over his face. He closed his eyes, and suddenly he was gone.

Logan completely dismissed it as if nothing had happened, but Roman blinked a couple times to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

“How… how did he do that?” He asked, waving his hand around in the air in front of him.

“Magic.” Virgil's voice came from behind Roman. He turned around quickly saw Virgil standing behind him.

“Would you quit messing with me!” Roman stomped his foot. Virgil just laughed and disappeared again. The door opened, meaning Virgil had left. Logan followed him out. Roman went last, closing the door behind him. He caught up to Virgil (who was now visible) and Logan. They were walking away from the castle, which was strange to Roman. Not the fact that he wasn't going back, but the fact that he was glad to not be going back.

They walked for hours, mostly silently. Virgil and Logan occasionally sparked up a conversation, but Roman usually stayed out of it. Virgil made him nervous anyway. Still, he missed having someone to talk to. He had friends at the castle, and he missed them. He couldn't imagine what they must've been going through. That monster must've told everyone he was dead. And if he was being honest, he wasn't totally sure he wasn't. There was really no way of knowing, was there? Realistically, what were the odds that he'd ever get back home? What were the odds that his friends didn't think he had abandoned them? What were the odds that that snake hadn't already killed everyone, that he hadn't-

“Roman?” Logan's voice brought him out of his train of thought.

“Yeah?” Roman looked over at him. He blinked and suddenly became aware that there were tears in his eyes.

“I thought I might check in with you, you seemed distressed.” Logan explained. Roman flinched as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Relax. I wasn't even invisible that time.” Virgil rolled his eyes.

“You still scare me.” Roman glanced at Virgil and brushed his hand off his shoulder.

“Yeah, that's fair.” Virgil shrugged. Roman dried his face and they kept walking.

Eventually, they arrived at a dirt road that ran between two mountains.

“This place is… beautiful.” Roman muttered. The sun was setting, and a light flurry of snow had begun to fall.

“And dangerous.” Logan pointed out. “Dragons are common in this area.”

“He’s not wrong.” Virgil agreed. “I ran into one once, and I barely remember it. Must've hit my head or something.”

Roman had never seen a dragon up close before. Read about them, sure. Seen pictures, of course. His father had actually fought a dragon once. When Roman was five. He remembered the day vividly.

~14 years ago~

The king's advisor, Charles, rushed into the throne room frantically. “Your majesty, there's been a… situation.” He told them, somehow still managing to maintain his calm tone.

“What is it?” Roman's father asked, standing up and approaching the man. The advisor glanced at Roman, who was lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling.

“Maybe we should talk about this outside… we wouldn't want to worry him.” Charles suggested, subtly gesturing to the young prince. The king nodded. They left the room and the door shut behind them. Roman got up and scrambled over to the door, pressing his ear against it and listening to the conversation.

“... Not like we haven't had this problem before.” He heard his father's voice.

“Yes, but not under these circumstances. Remember the damage that was done to the borders last time? We were lucky that dragon didn't tear the whole kingdom down.” Charles responded. Roman was practically beaming. A dragon? A real one? Most people would be scared, but he was excited. He'd heard so many stories about dragons, and he'd always dreamed of fighting one some day. His father always thought he could.

He heard rapid footsteps moving away from the throne room. That meant Charles and his father had left. He ran to grab his fake wooden sword from behinds the king's throne. He pulled the heavy door open and went into the hallway, where soldiers and the castle staff were running back and forth. He pushed his way through the crowd until he got to the large window across the hall. His eyes widened as he saw the scene outside. A huge steel grey dragon stood just beyond the castle walls. It shook the ground with every step it took. But it wasn't like other dragons he'd heard about. Roman was used to stories about dragons who breathe fire, and burnt buildings. But this one was breathing ice, and making the garden look like a frozen pond, even though it was the middle of summer.

Roman climbed on to the window sill to get a better view. He watched his father leading the army. He wanted to do that one day. Being a prince got boring sometimes. And he was a kid, what did they expect him to do? Just sit there and do whatever anyone told him? He wanted an adventure. He didn't know exactly what, but that didn't really matter.

A few hours later, the whole problem had been resolved. The dragon hadn't been killed, but had seemingly been chased away. Roman had happily watched every second of the battle.

The king entered the hallway, clearly tired from fighting. Roman's eyes lit up and he smiled widely, showing off the gap between his front teeth. He ran over to his father and hugged him tightly. The king kneeled down to be closer to Roman's height.

“That was so cool!” Roman exclaimed.

“Yeah?” The king laughed. Roman nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah! I wish I could be as good at fighting as you are.” Roman held his wooden sword confidently.

"Well, fighting isn't always the answer. The dragon was protecting its territory, and we can't blame it for that." The king explained.

"Well then…" Roman narrowed his eyes in thought. "I want to be a good king, like you are."

“You will be, one day.” His father told him.

“You really think so?” Roman asked.

“I know so.” The king responded, ruffling the prince's hair. Roman laughed. That was the day he knew he could live up to his father, no matter how hard it would be.

~Present Day~

Roman sighed as he walked alongside his companions. He missed those days, when he could just be a kid. He just wanted to go home. He wanted his father back.

Suddenly, the ground shook. Roman was abruptly brought back to reality, and he quickly unsheathed his sword. He recognized the sound of footsteps. Dragon footsteps, more specifically. A sapphire blue dragon appeared from around one of the mountains. It wasted no time directing a column of blue fire at the three. Logan quickly jumped to the side, but Virgil seemed to freeze. Roman instinctively tackled him out of the way as the fire hit the ground where he had been standing. Virgil blinked a couple times, seeming to come back to reality. Roman stood up.

“Why did you do that? I could've handled it myself you know.” Virgil glared at him.

“No, you couldn't have handled it yourself. You were about to be burnt to a crisp and somehow you still find a way to criticize me. I literally just saved your life.” Roman offered the assassin his hand. Virgil took it and used it to pull himself up.

“Yeah, well maybe focus more on yourself.” He dusted off his clothes and took out a dagger. Roman rolled his eyes before realizing what Virgil had meant as he darted out if the path of a falling boulder.

The dragon growled at the prince, and Virgil used its momentary distraction to make a large cut on its leg. The dragon let out a loud screech and swung its tail around wildly, hitting Logan. He slid across the ground and Roman could see a couple of gears and wires come out of his arm. He sat up and examined it, clearly trying to move it, to no avail. He frantically picked up the pieces and put them in his satchel.

The dragon, still unaware of who had hurt it, saw Roman's sword and immediately turned to him. It approached him slowly, his eyes widening with fear. The dragon lowered its head to his level. All he could think about was what his father had told him. 'The dragon was protecting its territory, and we can't blame it for that.'

“Roman, what are you doing! Kill it, now!” Virgil urged him.

“I… can't.” He whispered.

“What?” Logan asked, still trying to pick up all the pieces that had fallen out of his arm.

“I can't kill the dragon!” Roman yelled.

He had missed his chance, and the dragon had become aware of the situation. It roared loudly, and swatted Roman aside with great force. He went so far that he hit the side of the mountain and slid down on to the ground, and his vision went blurry. He could hear the others yelling, but he wasn't sure exactly what it was about. The last thing he saw was a beam of bright blue light hitting the dragon. Then everything went dark.

Roman woke up likely much later, although he didn't know exactly how long. His side stung, but it was bandaged. He had many bruises, and other smaller cuts all over. He had assumed that he was beaten up quite a bit, and he was right.

Then he realized where he was. Not that he recognized his surroundings. They were actually completely new to him. He was lying in a bed, which was decorated with white pillows and a clearly handmade quilt. The room looked a lot more inviting than Logan's house had been, with windows on almost every wall, letting in the warm light of the sunset. Last but not least, a small peach-colored kitten was curled up next to him, purring loudly. As he sat up, the small fluffy creature lifted its head and blinked sleepily. Its eyes were a startling lavender color.

Roman pushed himself up into a sitting position. He winced at the pain that shot through the wound in his side, but still managed to stand up. The kitten hopped up and walked alongside him. He opened the door a crack, and was surprised to see a large greenhouse on the other side.

The entire room was made of blue glass panes, and the walls, floor, and ceiling were covered in various plants. A couple that caught Roman's eye were flowers that were glowing many different colors, a plant that looked like a massive grape vine, and a large golden rose.

“Oh, good! You're awake!” An unfamiliar voice spoke from across the room. Roman turned his head quickly, suddenly very alert.

The source of the voice was a short boy dressed entirely in bright pastel colors, including an extravagant wizard's hat, with a wide smile on his face. He had fluffy sandy blond hair, deep brown eyes, and a small gap between his two front teeth. To top of his cheerful look, his skin was covered in freckles, and large round glasses sat on his nose.

“What happened? Who are you?” Roman asked, tugging nervously at the sleeve of his shirt.

“Yeah, I figured you might have some questions. Well, for starters, I'm Patton!” Patton stepped over various plants and flowers pots that littered the floor, approaching Roman.

“Well it's nice to meet you, Patton.” Roman nodded respectfully.

“It's nice to meet you too! And don't worry, I already know who you are. Your friends filled me in.” Patton noticed the small cat that was rubbing its head against Roman's leg. He giggled. “I see you've met Lavender! She seems to really like you!”

“Yeah, she does.” He smiled half-heartedly.

“You look like you've got something on your mind. Want to talk about it?” The smile vanished from Patton's face and was replaced with a look of concern.

“Would you mind… telling me what happened with the dragon?” Roman asked.

“Of course! Well, I saw your friend Logan picking up pieces of his arm off the ground, and I thought 'wow, he looks like he might need a bit of help!’, so I started walking over to him! But then I saw the dragon, and I hid. That probably wasn't the best idea, but… let's just say I don't have the best relationship with reptiles.” Patton explained, quickly realizing he'd gotten off topic. “Sorry, I got distracted. Anyway, I saw the dragon! And I was really impressed that this guy was taking on a dragon all by himself, but then I noticed you and your other friend. Then the dragon hit you! You crashed into the mountain really hard, and the dragon must've gotten you with one of its claws or something, because you had a really nasty gash on your side. It cut right through your armor!”

“My armor…” Roman suddenly became very aware of how vulnerable he felt without his armor on. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been without it.  “Do you know where it is?”

“I'm afraid I had to fix it up a bit, that big cut in the metal was just awful! And it was just covered in blood. It was terrible.” Patton replied.

“Do you think you can fix it?” Roman asked, his voice small for the first time in a while. That armor had belonged to his father. It was all he had left of him.

“Of course!” Patton smiled reassuringly. Roman returned the smile.

“Thank you.” He said.

“Oh, I should probably tell your friends that you're awake!” Patton remembered. “Follow me, they're waiting in the other room!”

Roman did as he was told, following Patton through the door and into the next room. Logan and Virgil were sitting at a small wooden table. Logan was reading an old book, and Virgil was simply sitting there waiting. They both looked up as Patton and Roman walked in. Virgil acknowledged that they had come in, but said nothing. Logan, on the other hand, immediately put down his book and approached the other two.

“What was that.” He said bluntly, glaring at Roman.

“What do you mean?” Roman shrunk away from his gaze slightly.

“Why didn't you kill the dragon. We could have avoided all of this if you had just taken the chance you were given!” Logan raised his voice slightly.

“You don't understand, Logan! I couldn't-” Roman responded, but he was cut off by the other.

“You couldn't what, Roman? Why did you make the stupid decision that you did? I would like to know what was running through your mind at that moment!” Logan crossed his arms condescendingly.

“You don't deserve to know! You have no right to-” Roman was cut off once again, but this time by Patton.

“STOP!” He shouted, holding out his hands. A blue light radiated from his palms, and the two bickering friends immediately froze. “You two shouldn't be fighting right now! Roman is in terrible condition, and so are you, Logan! You should all get some sleep, and we'll figure out what to do with you guys tomorrow.” Patton's hands dropped to his sides. Roman and Logan were both unfrozen.

The prince glanced out a window and noticed that the sun had set entirely, and it was pitch black outside.

“I don't sleep all that often. For… reasons.” Virgil piped up.

“Well that's not good! You probably need rest!” Patton's full attention was immediately directed towards the assassin. “You can sleep in here, on the couch. Logan, you probably want to keep working on your arm, I know it's still not working well. I have a workspace down that hallway! And Roman, you can sleep in my room.” The wizard directed each of them to their given space. Once all of them were settled, Patton wished them all goodnight, and followed Logan to the workshop.

~~~

Logan sat at the table in Patton's workshop. He emptied out the contents of his satchel and had barely begun working before the door opened once again.

“Is this a good place for you to work?” Patton asked quietly, trying not to disturb the inventor.

“Yes, this will do quite well.” Logan didn't look up from his work as he put different parts back together. Patton pulled up a chair and sat next to him. He silently watched Logan work.

A few hours went by, and Logan was still awake. He had forgotten how he had built a certain part of his arm, which was bad because it was one of the most important parts. He was so busy trying to figure it out that he didn't even notice that Patton had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

He reattached the part to his arm, and hoped silently that he had gotten it right. He tentatively attempted to bend his fingers, and was pleased to see that the mechanics seemed to be responding the way they were meant to. His arm was fully functional once again.

Logan glanced at Patton, trying to figure out how he could move without waking him up. He gently moved to the side, allowing Patton to lay across both of the chairs. Logan laid down on the floor, and based on how exhausted he was, he fell asleep quickly as well.

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo + Taylor Swift: a master post - Part 5/6

Hi guys, welcome to part 5 of my masterpost regarding parallels between Taylor Swift and Evelyn Hugo, the fictional actress from the book The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo by author Taylor Jenkins Reid!

Before proceeding please be aware that there will be 

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

for the book ahead and please also read my disclaimer!

It’s very important that you read these in order so if you haven’t yet go ahead and check out the previous part right here, thank you and enjoy!

“And then she calmly, confidently took my hand. I bristled, unsure if we should be touching in public, scared of what people would do.  But the rest of the people on the street just kept on walking, kept on living their lives, almost entirely unaware or uninterested in the two famous women holding hands on the sidewalk.” (Pg. 234)

Admittedly not holding hands here, but this was actually the first thing that came into my head when I read the scene above…Here are some actual pictures of the girls holding hands in public though:

--

  “We went out to dinner in public, the four of us looking like two pairs of     heterosexuals, without a heterosexual in the bunch.” (Pg. 234)

This is once again Evelyn talking about their foursome of beards during the New York years and I believe this is something akin to what Taylor and Karlie were hoping to have with Josh and Joe/Tom (or whoever Taylor was meant to beard with long-term) pre-election disaster, hence that retrospectively embarrassing pap walk of Josh with Austin as a way to try and integrate Josh into to Taylor’s social circle so that her, her beard and Karlie and Josh could become “America’s favorite double daters” (as Evelyn describes it)

Obviously with the election turning out as it did Team Swift quickly reworked the plan.

--

Pages 234-238 is Evelyn talking of the Stonewall riots and how she remembers those days and there are specific parts of it that are interesting from a Gaylor/Kaylor point of view.

“Harry and I campaigned for Bobby Kennedy. Celia posed with Vietnam protesters on the cover of ‘Effect’. John was a vocal supporter of the civil rights movement and I had been a very public supporter of the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.” (x) (x)

“This was our people. And here they were, revolting against the police, in the name of their right to be themselves. While I was sitting in a golden prison of my own making.”

Gold cage, hostage to my feelings (x)

Evelyn, Celia, Harry and John discuss going to participate in the Stonewall riots, wishing they could be a part of this, of fighting for their own people, but ultimately Harry explains why they can’t best when he says:

  “We go down there all we do is attract attention away from the cause and       towards us. The story becomes about whether we are homosexuals and not   about the rights of homosexuals.”

Still wanting to help make a difference the gang discuss how they best can help and come to the conclusion that their best contribution is funding.

Evelyn says about it all:

  “Because of who I was, because of the sacrifices I made to hide parts of     myself, I was able to give more money than most people ever see in their entire lifetime. I am proud of that. But it does not mean that I wasn’t conflicted. And of course, a lot of the time that ambivalence was even more personal than it was political. I knew it was imperative that I hide, and yet I did not believe I should have to. But accepting that something is true isn’t the same as thinking that it is just.”

Remember kids, closeted does not mean ashamed! Taylor accepting that she has to beard does not mean she likes it or even supports the practice. She uses her voice and her money to stand up for the LGBT+ community continuously and that in itself is a brave act for someone who is so deeply closeted!!

--

On page 241 Evelyn refers to herself as “the sort of person who liked being extravagant and absurd.” Basically she’s saying she was extra af™ which just sort of reminded me of how we often comment on how extra™ Taylor is with her hints and teases and it also reminded me of that time Taylor sarcastically referred to herself as “a very subtle person” The two quotes have the same energy if you will!

--

On Evelyn’s birthday the gang goes out to dinner and Celia makes a small “happy birthday, I love you”-type speech which was reminiscent of the birthday posts, sweet! (pg. 242)

(one of many of course)

    “’You love me?’ She said.   ‘Oh my God, what an understatement,’ I told her. ‘You love me so much you can’t see straight?’” (Pg. 245)

   Too in love to think straight……………

--

Years after they last saw each other Evelyn meets back up with her abusive ex-husband, Don (one out of only two of her husbands who wasn’t a beard) when she’s put in a situation where the two of them have to do a movie together.

   “‘I know it doesn’t make up for what I did to you,’ he said.

   ‘Good,’ I said. ‘Because it really doesn’t.’

  ‘But I hope it might make you feel a little better,’ he said, ‘to know that I know I    was wrong, I know you deserved better, and I’m working every day to be a     better man.’

  ‘Well, it’s awfully late now,’ I said. ‘You being a better man does nothing for       me.’ (Pg. 256)

I wonder what we would’ve becomeeeee If you were a better mannnnn We might still be in loveeeee If you were a better mannnnn You would’ve been the onoooooe If you were a better mannnnnn

*The rest of Better Man plays softly in background*

--

On page 164 Evelyn gives Celia a bouquet of lilies which happens to be Karlie’s favorite flowers, Celia calls the flowers Gorgeous

--

When Celia finds out that Evelyn filmed a sex scene with her ex-husband without telling her she’s so upset she threatens to leave again, Evelyn’s reaction:

   “I sobbed.  And I pleaded. And I groveled, desperately, on my knees,           having long ago learned the lesson that you have to throw yourself at the     mercy of the things you truly want.” (Pg. 267)

    If you walked away I’d beg you on my knees to stay

--

The scene on pages 267-268 where Evelyn begs Celia to take her back has major How You Get The Girl/Delicate/Don’t Blame Me vibes…It’s too long to quote, but I dare you to go read it and tell me I’m wrong!

--

  “’I made people money. No one turns away money. They were all too happy to    get me in their movies and then talk about me behind my back.’” (Pg. 270)

Evelyn says this after discussing the rampant slut-shaming of her following her many marriages and her 1970’s film 3AM which people deemed both unbecoming of a lady and  unfeminist. She goes on to point out the duality of her image, while studios acknowledge that “sex sells” and therefore want Evelyn in their movies due to the audience pull she has they also slut shame her for her numerous marriages and choices in roles. When Monique points out that this eventually turned out fine as people these days praise Evelyn for her role in the film Evelyn points out:

  “’It’s all fine in hindsight,’ […] ‘Except that I spent years with a scarlet A on     my chest,’ […]” (Pg. 270)

Does the phrase “a scarlet A” sound familiar? Well, I bet ya:

  You were Romeo  I was a scarlet letter

and

  We show off our different scarlet letters

  Trust me, mine is better

Also sound familiar, right? In several of my queer analyses of Taylor’s songs I bring up the fact that “scarlet letter” refers not only to the literal scarlet A on main character Hester’s clothes, but also to the concept of sin in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s 1850 novel The Scarlet Letter. (x) (x) (x)

I continue to point out that I think Taylor uses the concept of the scarlet letter as sin to refer to her (in the eyes of the entertainment industry) scandalous secret homosexuality, the “celebrity sin” she’s guilty of.

Evelyn uses the analogy here to refer to her own status as “a sex pot” (her words, pg. 269) in Hollywood. She says that she is a “sex pot” of Hollywood’s own creation not only by the increasingly sexually charged roles she took on during the 70’s but also because of the numerous husbands the industry forced her to take as to not be outed. By forcing bearding on her the industry opened the doors for the constant slut shaming directed at Evelyn and I feel the industry has done much the same to Taylor. The recent for the slut-shaming she’s had to endure is (like Evelyn) the numerous men she’s dated, but she only did that to hide the truth of her (far fewer) true (gay) relationships. Considering my previous points on Taylor and the scarlet-letter/sin-metaphor I thought Evelyn’s use of the analogy here interesting and noteworthy. It is of course interesting too, that the movie for which Evelyn received the most scrutiny and shaming happens to be called 3AM, we all know that Taylor mentions 2AM rather frequently in her songs about love, which are of course where she has received the most scrutiny, her songs and all the “numerous boys” they are supposedly about. I pointed out this similarity between Evelyn’s movie title and a frequent motif in Taylor’s music earlier in this analysis, but thought it was worth pointing out 3AM as a possible blanket-metaphor for Taylor’s music within the context of this book yet again.

--

  “I broke Celia’s heart because I spent half my time loving her and the other     half hiding how much I loved her.” (Pg. 271)

  Sometimes when I look into your eyes   I pretend you’re mine all the damn time

                                //

  Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

--

  “I loved Celia and I shared my truth only with Celia.” (pg. 271)

  Even in my worst light, you saw the truth in me

Just like Evelyn Taylor is saying that even when her public reputation is bad and also very far from the actual true narrative of her life Karlie is the one that actually knows the truth and the only one she can share the full extent of that truth with.  

--

“I did a lot of things that hurt a lot of people and I’d do them all again if I had to.” (Pg. 172)

Those are Evelyn’s words and yet all I can hear are Taylor’s…

  Theeeeeey say I did something BAD                          […]   And I'd do it over and over and over again if I coUUUUld

--

  “I had very little energy left to try to hide who we were. I had learned   all too        well that pain is sometimes stronger than the need to keep up     appearances.” (Pg. 274)

It would seem that in the Reputation era Taylor too has very little energy left to try and hide, she has previously learnt all too well what keeping up appearances can cost you.

--

Thanks so much for reading, check out part 6, the finale!

[inknerd]

January Wrap-Up 2019

The first month of 2019 is over! So unreal. I passed an exam I thought for sure I’d fail but also got my phone and debit card stolen. I finished my first term at uni and have started to make friends there, which is fun! I read quite a bit this month and I’m so excited for what I should read next. There’s just! So many!

AIR AWAKENS by ELISE KOVA ★☆☆☆☆ | 330 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2015

Welp, not the best start of my reading this year, I’ll admit. This is one of those moments were I’m seriously confused why a book has such a high rating on goodreads. Like, I understand why you would sort of like it, I guess, but 4 stars? No. + I dig the cover. As soon as I saw it and read the description I thought to myself that ‘maybe this book would remind me of Avatar: The Last Airbender?’ Obviously, it did not, but the cover is still pretty. - Just...the main character was so meek and the rest of the cast was frustrating at best and boring at worst (the love interest(s) I swear to god...). The plot, the worldbuilding and the magic system were pretty non-existent or badly explained, and I found the writing lacking. I feel like this book should have been longer in order to be what it wanted to be. 

THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE by C.S. LEWIS ★★★☆☆ | 183 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1950

Finally took the time to read this! I’m planning to read the entire series...eventually. + I love the world of Narnia and this book gave me a bit more insight compared to the movies, which was nice! It was a quick and fun read. - The characters, while I didn’t dislike them, seemed very flat and/or different from how I perceived them before. I prefer the movie in general, as a matter of fact.

THE HORSE AND HIS BOY by C.S. LEWIS ★★★☆☆  | 221 pages | 3 days to read | Published 1954

I didn’t know anything about this going into it - mainly because this don’t have a movie of its own. But I was pleasantly surprised, and if I hadn’t loved the Pevensies and their story as much before reading their book, I would probably say this book is slightly better? + The characters have more deep in this one, and overall the story is pretty fun? Like, it’s about two talking horses and two children trying to run away to Narnia, together with cameos from the Pevensies. I liked it. - The story in this, more than The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe dragged a little more, and, along with the first book, made me realise I don’t really like Aslan that much. lol.

FIRE & HEIST by SARAH BETH DURST ★★☆☆☆ | 304 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

I got this in a fairyloot box and didn’t really know what to think of it...I was intruiged by were-dragons but then the story took place in modern times which wasn’t what I’d hoped for. In the end I read through this pretty quickly, skimming a bit. + Were-dragons. Very cool idea. The writing could be funny and witty at times. - I wasn’t interested in the story at all; it went from planning a heist to travel to another dimension and I just wasn’t up for it. The characters were pretty boring as was the romance. The book was too short to have such a large cast, in my opinion.

FOR EVERY ONE by JASON REYNOLDS ★★★★☆ | 112 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

I hadn’t really planned to read this, per se. But I got the free ebook and was like, “eh, it’s short. Let’s go”, and I’m happy that I did. + I really liked the poem in itself and the way it looked against the pages. - Now that I think back though, the poem might be a bit forgettable?

THE GIVER by LOIS LOWRY ★★★★☆ | 225 pages | 1 day to read | Published 1993

Don’t know why I suddenly wanted to read this. It’s been like this book that I’ve passed at the store and the library for years and I’ve never wanted to pick it up and I had no clue what it was about. But, suddenly I wanted to read it and I’m glad I did. + I liked the themes and the worldbuilding the most. Despite having a couple of years on it, and despite being a dystopia, it felt surprisingly fresh? It had this feeling of magical realism that I dig, and the characters were fine, too. - I can’t say I understand the ending...like at all.

GATHERING BLUE by LOIS LOWRY ★★★☆☆ | 241 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2000

I’m planning to read this entire series, so here we go! + Once again I liked the worldbuilding, especially how Lowry seems to play with different types of communities so that you can see different types of humans react in extreme situations.  - And also once again, can’t say I liked the ending. While I understood it this time, it seemed kind of...cheap? Can’t say I liked one of the plot twists that much, either.

MESSENGER by LOIS LOWRY ★★★☆☆ | 187 pages | 2 days to read | Published 2004

+ This tied the first and second book together somewhat nicely. The best part of it I think was that it explained the ending of both The Giver and Gathering Blue, and the continued social commentary was still interesting - and very relevant today, as well. - This followed a character from the Gathering Blue that I didn’t care for that much, and there were many things that I wanted to know more of, like the sinister force invading the land etc. The ending was sort of, okay? But maybe I’ll understand it more after reading the fourth book, like I did with the first and second one.

TEMPESTS AND SLAUGHTER by TAMORA PIERCE ★★★★☆ | 465 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2018

I was so excited for this book because Wild Magic is my jam, and Numair was one of my favourite characters. I liked this book more than I thought I would! + I really love Pierce’s world and magic system, very believable and interesting at the same time! I also got way more insight into Arram’s character and abilities, and also grew to appreciate characters like Varice, that I didn’t really care for when reading the Immortals series. - I can imagine this book not being as interesting for someone who isn’t at least a bit familiar with Tortall and the characters already? There wasn’t much action and not really that much of a plot either; the book could definitely drag sometimes, though I’m very excited to see what happens next!

AMERICAN PANDA by GLORIA CHAO ★★★☆☆ | 311 pages | 1 day to read | Published 2018

I got the free ebook and decided, why not? + It’s always interesting to read about different cultures than your own, and this centrainly gave some insight into a teenager who doesn’t really know where she’s heading. - The story could get a bit weird sometimes? Like I don’t know how to explain it but sometimes people just reacted strangely to what other people said, or just straight up walked away. And then there was an odd mix of dramatic moments and clichés that I didn’t like, and the characters overall where meh, with the main romance not being that interesting.

WINTERSONG by S. JAE-JONES ★★☆☆☆ | 436 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2017

I wanted to read this book so much, even though I’d heard mixed/negative feelings about it. But it was inspired by Labyrinth, one of my favourite movies, and Goblin Market, one of my favourite poems, so how could I NOT read it? + There’s a lot of quotes and allusions from both Labyrinth and Goblin Market, and they all made me so happy! Like, there were straight up lines from the movie like “I’m tired of living up to your expectations” and there was the Market scene in the beginning of the book - I would read this book again for them, because I’m a nerd. - And that’s...it, with good things I’m afraid. I just didn’t like the story but I could have dealed with that if the characters weren’t so horrible. The main character couldn’t go two pages without mentioning or complaining of how not-pretty she was and I get that it was part of the theme but it just made me want to strangle her. 

SAWKILL GIRLS by CLAIRE LEGRAND ★★★★☆ | 450 pages | 10 days to read | Published 2018

I started reading this just when I had a paper I had to do, so I put it off for a bit and then flew through it in like two days. + Just... very good representation in general. Bi people! Ace people! There were several one-liners I really liked, the supporting characters were nice and the overall feeling was creepy and magical. A nice book! - There were some things I wished were explored more about the world and the monsters living in it, and some of the main characters decisions felt somewhat strange to me and also reactions to certain people dying felt pretty awkward at times. Otherwise, it was good.

COLLECTED POEMS by KARIN BOYE ★★★★★ | 286 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2015 (1950)

Slowly making my way through some Swedish poets. I’m very happy I read this collection in particular, it was such a good one! + Rather than using tabs I underlined and wrote on the pages, which proved very effective. The thing with poetry collections, and especially longer ones, is that I always run into parts where I don’t like the poems as much/get bored, but I didn’t have this issue with Boye, most were really great! - I don’t really have anything negative to say.

THE NIGHTINGALE by KRISTIN HANNAH ★★★★☆ | 440 pages | 3 days to read | Published 2015

I’d heard quite a lot about this and how good it were, which made me curious! + It has a nice pace, the characters are interesting; especially because you get to see two different sides of the war, yet those sides also interlap.  - I wasn’t ecstatic about the ending. Somehow the characters felt like they got more one-dimensional? And it felt almost preachy at times.

[raganandhersurveys]

5/21/21~5000 question survey 201-300 {CXVII}

This has been in the drafts for far too long lol

201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice: caterpillar, house dog, wild dog, vulture, male human, female human, oak tree, rock, manta ray, dolphin 

~female human, dolphin, male human, house dog, manta ray, wild dog, caterpillar, oak tree, vulture, rock

 202. What do you feel unworthy of? 

~sometimes i feel like i don’t deserve the love that people give me. but i definitely don’t dwell on that thought 

 203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person? 

~doing something for humanity; that effects more people 

 204. Which do you value more: science or intuition? 

~honestly depends on what it is haha. i lead with my heart more than my brain sometimes 

 205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first? 

~...... i hate questions where i have to choose one person over another, i can’t choose 

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings?

~lol nope we exist in it just like everything else. we took it upon ourselves to feel as though we are superior 

207. If you are no longer a virgin, do you wish you still were?

~no, that thought has never even crossed my mind

208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now?

~i rlly don’t know that many poets 

209. What is your favorite song from the 90's? 

~my heart will go on~ celine dion; stereotypical ik but like i love that song

 210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be? 

~the r ofc:)

 211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.?

~i definitely believe in angels. as far as aliens and ghosts are concerned, i for the mots part believe in them but i am a little skeptical and someone can be a dwarfed person so i believe in that too, but the elves and fairies are a no go. 

212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend? 

~if we have similar interests, if they’re funny, kind, if they’re open minded and deep, and like to eat food a lot because i sure do

 213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun? 

~bahaha i have a life lol 

 214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth?

~nope

 215. What is your favorite line from a movie? 

~”ughhh! as if”

216. What's your favorite video game? 

~i don’t rlly play video games lol

 217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours? 

~yeahhhhhh

 218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you?

~”we love that”

 219. You allow strangers to read your diary, but would you let your parents read it?

~lol never

220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower?

~depends on my mood. if i have something to do i’d obviously choose the shower lol

221. Are you allergic to anything? 

~nope

222. What is your favorite Terminator movie?

~i don’t rlly like any of them

 223. What is your favorite fast food?

~chick-fil-a!!!!

224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again?

~cheat on me or hurt someone i love

225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed? 

~i have never and will never whip or be whipped in bed hahaha

 226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally? 

~lol no

 227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend?

~greedyyyyyyy oooh. money is also an addiction i feel like; for some people they will never have enough 

 228. Have you ever won a carnival fish?

~:((((( no

229. Did it live more than a week? 

~^

 230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have? 

~i love a spanish accent or italian/bostson accents too 

231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read? 

~some book for school probably 

232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens? 

~ig touch screens

233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series? 

~there rlly is but they’re worded differently because they were written in such different times. i enjoyed both but i love lotr. 

234. Would you consider yourself to be naive?

~in some regards, yes 

235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail?

~andrew 

236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it?

~honestly if it was a $20 dollar bill

 237. Would you ever wear real fur?

~no

238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks?

~huh?

239. What are your feelings about police officers? 

~not all of them are bad. Yes there are corrupt ones but can’t any career have corrupt employers? I would feel safer having them than not so I do not support the whole ACAB movement

 240. What is your favorite line from a song? 

~i have no idea lmao like my mind went totally blank

 241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money?

~to me yeah haha

242. Do you like the band Front 242 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Front_242)? 

~i’ve never heard of them

243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction? 

~self-satisfaction

244. What's your middle name? 

~alexandria

 245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

~probs pee in a public place 

246. Are you good, evil or neutral?

~i’d say neutral lmao

 247. Should ebonics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebonics) be considered a language?~sure lol 

248. What color is your bedroom? 

~sage green

What color would you like it to be? 

~i want my next room to have just white walls 

249. When are you planning to move to a new home? 

~well i move into my college suite in august 

250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be?

~well i’m not in my room right now so i have no idea

251. Do you blow your nose in public?

~i try to avoid it but you gotta do what you gotta do

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?

~in some ways yes, but in other ways absolutely not

 253. What is the coolest web site you know of? 

~any online shopping place haha

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie? 

~most of them have already been turned into movies and they aren’t that great

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic, fair minded, generous, helpful 

~i’d say fair minded overall

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?

~no but i wish i could haha

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?

~most likely no

258. What do you think about school uniforms?

~i’m so glad i went to a public school and didn’t have to wear one. i love clothes and creating outfits so i’d hate to have to wear the same thing like every day

 259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?

~either egypt or greece

 260. What would make a great new Crayola color?

~do they have a sage green color?

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art? 

~not necessarily. I feel like it’s hard to do anything artistic like that without a purpose or meaning

 262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration? 

~ariana grande or sza 

 263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country? 

~me lol 

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? 

~i feel like it went to borrowing and to funding the military

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? 

~i feel like as a child it was easier 

 266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?

~depends on the topic tbh 

 267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? 

~electric guitar or piano

 268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change? 

~that is not a question for me lol

 269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars? 

~mmmmmm yeah tbh LMAO

270. Are you completely in control of your body? 

~i guess lol

 271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway? 

~i’d love either. sometimes money is the thought for someone but hand picked is so special to 

 272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?

~in some instances, yes. but then sometimes i’ll feel a random emotion at times. there are times where i’ll just feel really sad and I don’t know why lol 

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself? 

~both but the songs and books do it so beautifully 

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product? 

~usually not lol

 275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?

~i’m always down for a good horror movie 

 276. Does fashion matter to you? 

~yesss! that’s the field i want to enter 

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else? 

~of course, if not more so 

 278. What do you get in trouble for the most? 

~my mom always says i do things last minute 

279. Should parents spank their kids? 

~you do what you wanna do as a parent

 280. What is your worst daily habit? 

~eating unhealthy foods lol

 281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled?

~pretty little liars because it’s literally knock off gossip girl

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?

~definitely salt 

 283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts? 

~not always lol 

284. What do you feel the most guilty about? 

~sometimes i feel like i let people down because some of my decisions still depend on other people (ex: if my mom says no to something that someone asked me to do)

 285. Do you meditate?

~no

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?

~i think they can be visions but i feel that most of the time they are random images

 287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?

~why are so many of these questions about this lmao um it depends if i have a grasp on my emotions in that moment 

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals. What verb would you fill in the blank with? 

~is jealous?

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?

~one night a year or so ago me and some friends just hung out but it felt like a movie. we were jamming to music with the windows down and just going crazy; what a time to be alive 

 290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?

~for sure however i have learned that that is very unhealthy so i usually tend to speak my mind 

 291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?

~^

292. What is one thing you can't do?

~ride a bike 

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)? 

~i’ve never seen any of his movies 

 294. Are you gentle? 

~i try to be 

 295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable? 

~when i’m alone and not talking to anyone 

296. Are you trying to find yourself?

~aren’t we all?

297. Where are you looking?

~in my passions and just getting to understand myself in general 

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?

~yep

299. What would make you a stronger person? 

~not lettings things that people say get to me and not caring so much of what others think of me 

 300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?

~there isn’t one in particular but i would like to start reading stephen king 

[hwangsinb]

around you, let me in, new and egoist for the loona asks 😘

this is going to be long bc i’m annoying so more of my thoughts under the cut

(this is about this post if you’re confused)

around you : between all their MVs, what is your favorite concept and which one have your favorite aesthetic?

i think my favorite concept is probably the carol just bc im such christmas trash like omg i Love christmas so much and also FRIENDSHIP!!! its so cute i love the overall vibe it gives me this warm feeling and it puts me right in the holiday spirit in the middle of may alksfnv. and favorite aesthetic goes to miss kimberly’s eclipse like i love the use of red and black and how they filmed the dance, the smoke, the outfits, I Feel Sparks, and the way they use the light and edited it all together its like being hypnotized by a bad bitch its great skfjv

let me in : what are your favorite LOOΠΔ TV(s) and why?

if i had to chose only one it would have to be #200 like oh mygod it was the funniest 10 minutes of my entire life i love yeojin

honorable mentions: #29 bc 2jin and the cat head slfjv; #110 bc everybody playing around w those 90s outfits was SO fuckin funny; #161 jinsoul’s bday episode its so cute seeing all of them together for the first time and also the cake fight!!!; #188 “OH MY GOD” “AMAZING” “ONE MORE TIME”; #241 THE GODDAMN APPLE THING; #285 IT CHANGED EVERYTHING thinking about them doing the baymax thing makes my heart go wooosh; #321 “bbong bbong bbong bbong” “drrrr~”

new : when and how did you discovered LOOΠΔ?

idk when i Discovered them like i knew OF them for a while before i decided to check them out and started to stan (after eclipse before jinsoul was revealed) but “how” it was def twitter slfjv

egoist : if you could have one features of each members what would it be and why?

okay but like “feature” can be physical or non-physical right? right if it isnt, it is now sdflj

heejin: her positive attitude and this whole always smiling thing she has going on i just love it how she is always able to lift the mood up i wish i was more like this

hyunjin: how confident she is in herself and how she is not afraid to go and prove it to you how good she is at something

haseul: being able to make new people around her feel more comfortable and open up

yeojin: her fuck the police attitude

vivi: her humor tbh she is so funny and like blunt i love this about her

kimberly: not being afraid to make a fool of yourself bc you know its going to be fun/funny adfxjkb

jinsoul: the great balance she has of confidence and self-deprecation

choerry: her sunny attitude like she is literally the sun there is nothing that can stop her positive thinking all the way all the time

yves: not to be shallow but probably her face akjsnd what a pretty bitch am i right ladies

chuu: her cuteness tbh like dksjc im not that cute i could use some of that

gowon: how she can feed off someone else’s energy and keep the flow of the conversation (or crackheadary) or the mood going

olivia: idk her well enough yet but im gonna say her height bc girlie is tall af and im really tiny djnjdk

[illuminate-prompts]

[Image: A reblog from @cancerianwastelandcat that says, “Literally...what. How do you come up with these?” with the tag “impressed.”]

I don’t always see all my notifications, but I’m glad I saw this one. And I’ve got some time, so I’ll totally overdo it and take this opportunity to talk about my “process” when coming up with prompts. :)

As I say on my about page, all of these prompts are as original as possible. But that doesn’t mean I sit in silence, running words and phrases through my head until I put together a coherent prompt. Usually, I’ll get that initial spark of inspiration from something I’ve read recently, something I’m watching, and/or something that happened to me.

I’m gonna go through some recent prompts really quickly to talk about this (like I said—overdoing it!).

For example, let’s go to 255., which reads:

“Three of them are ready.”

“Only three?”

“Of course, it would’ve been four, if not for the…incident.”

Like, I’m pretty sure I was watching basketball or something, heard a statistic with the word “three” in it, and ran with that. Sometimes it is truly #notthatdeep.

Then there are ones like 241., which goes like this:

There’s no doubt that TV characters’ lives are much more eventful than ours – a single character might get cancer, be involved in a horrific natural disaster, and lose their spouse during the course of a show. Now, imagine these characters once existed outside their shows, living perfectly ordinary lives, and that there is a slew of potential TV show characters desperately hoping that their lives never get picked up for TV because this normalcy will immediately end.

This might have been inspired by watching a TV show (I’m wary to say which one in case someone is trying to catch up, but if you watch it, you’ll probably get the idea/joke!), but it also speaks to the thought process I occasionally go through about TV shows not being real, then wishing they were, then wondering what the downsides of that would be. Sometimes it’s all about thinking something simple like “what if TV shows were real?” and just taking it a step further.

And then there’s 231:

Someone has framed you for murder with the hair you constantly shed on their couch.

I shed. A lot. This vague fear is pulled straight from my life, and it would be so easy to frame me for something based on how much I shed. (Please don’t frame me for something.)

(EDIT: One last bit of behind-the-scenes info: A lot of the time when I’m talking about small towns, moving to/from big cities, and so on, I’m speaking from personal experience! I grew up in a small town in a big state (California), and now live in a big city in a small state (Iowa). The amount of writing material I’ve produced from that move alone could fill many books.)

I’ve never really considered myself a creative person, even though I’ve dabbled in a ton of different art forms. However, I’m grateful that not only is this blog allowing me to think more creatively, but that people are enjoying it as much as they are! I’m coming up on a year of writing prompts here and this blog has almost 6,000 followers. It’s really unbelievable sometimes, and I’m so grateful for all of you. <3