#which would be another 11 hour trip

[hoshigray]

Been thinking about this scenario a lot, but ex-husband! Toji, where you two are pretty chill with each other, even after five years of divorce. But the feelings between you two start to parade back after all these years, and it all comes boiling over after spending one night together.

A/n: Been a while since I've done one of these scenario thingies, plus this idea has been rotting my mind for a long time, and I needed it to get out, lol. I pushed back my Gojo fic to tmrw or Thursday because my brain was not feeling like re-reading 3-4k words while running on one hour of sleep. So, instead, we're dropping this in its stead. Sorry about that, and hope you like this while I fix the fic up later today :) Any grammar/spelling errors on this will be dealt with tmrw.

Cw: ex-husband! Toji x fem! reader - implied that reader is entering their mid 30s - starts out cute the first half but smutty the next, so minors DNI - implied that Tsumiki and Megumi are around middle school age; 12 (T) and 11 (M) - pining; Toji is whipped for you, I fear - Daddy kink - prone bone position + mating press - pet names (baby, sweetheart, sweetie, mama, princess) - cervix fucking - praise - itty-bitty-tiny overstimulation - closure; happy ending (?).

Wc: 3.4k (wow, way longer than the last one, lol)

Ex-husband! Toji...

...who you've divorced after being together for four years. It was a marriage built on love, convenience, and heartache. There is no denying that Toji loved you very much; if anything, the man would set the world ablaze if anything were to happen to you. Especially when you were the sweetest thing that blessed his presence and his two children who were young at the time — Tsumiki and Megumi at age three. The fact that you loved him as much as he loved you is beyond doubt in Toji's mind. However, somewhere down the line, you felt a "shadow" that you could not surpass nor fill — the late wife of Toji.

You could tell that Toji still had a piece of him that just couldn't let the memory of his late wife go, and you understood that. Hence why you chose to leave him, which was glum for all parties, but Toji understood where you were coming from and signed the papers.

...who's still chill with you after the divorce. You two promised not to act like complete strangers, especially with Tsumiki and Megumi being close to you. Just because the ring isn't on your finger doesn't mean you must change completely. The two of you are comfortable enough to be in each other's company, taking turns watching over the kids and acting like you're still married by poking fun at one another like the good days.

"Hey, big guy," Toji turns to the kitchen hallway where you're looking at him, his usual black coffee in his mug still sheltered in your apartment cupboards. "You look like shit; too tired to go to the clubs to find some minx to wow you enough like you used to?"

He snickers at your brazenness. "Shut up, brat. I could ask the same fr' you. Got some good dick on the side to help that attitude of yours, baby?" After checking around to see if the kids are nearby, you give him the middle finger. He chuckles before sipping his coffee.

...whose kids adore and love you so much that they secretly try to have you and Toji in the same place, which the two of you are entirely aware of. Five years passed after your separation, though that doesn't hinder the children from wanting you back in their lives again. Because to them, you are always a Fushiguro, and the love for you will always be there. It's there when you go to Tsumiki's soccer games and drag your ex-husband to find a better seat on the bleachers to watch her play. It's there when Megumi tells his father he "accidentally" left his baseball bat at your place and "unfortunately" now has to spend the night there (and you always receive them). And it's there when you promise to come along on family trips, like going to the zoo and taking pictures by the Panda enclosure with his daughter or going to the aquarium and listening intently to his son explain all the different types of jellyfish.

Toji can't blame his own kin for being attached to you because you are still a mother in their eyes. And so to his.

...who has his wedding ring on his dog-tag necklace but always tucks it under his shirt whenever you're present. It gives him a peace of mind when it comes to you because if he can't be there for you 24/7, he knows you're under his protection whenever you need it. But the thought of you knowing he still wears it makes him anxious, worried that you'll take it the wrong way and request he never wears it again. So, for his sake, he keeps you blind to this secret. And he wonders if you ever wear yours...

...who welcomes you without hesitation when you have to spend the night at his place because he notices you're too exhausted to go home so late. The only problem is that there's no other room outside the kids and Toji's. And as much you protest, expressing your satisfaction with taking the couch, your ex-husband disagrees and will carry you to bed, sneering to himself as you try to wiggle out of his stronghold until he smacks the bedroom door closed with his leg.

"I told you I was fine sleeping on the couch, Toji." You complain to him, yet your back is pressed against his chest with his arm around your waist.

"And I told you not gonna happen, princess." his hold around you gets tighter, pulling you closer for him to rest his chin on your shoulder. "You'd probably fall off and smack that pretty face of y'rs on the floor."

"I would not—You know what," you stooped from saying anything further to the man grinning behind your ear. You shift a bit to make yourself comfortable. "Goodnight, Toji. And thank you."

It takes every fiber in his being to not kiss your cheek then and there. Exhaling softly through his nostrils as he lays his head back on the pillow. "No problem, sweetheart."

...who the last time he had someone after your separation was not feeling it at all. You even said he is free to do whatever he wants when moving on to the next minx that caught his attention. You two are adults and shouldn't feel entitled to putting each other on a leash. Despite that, he knew moving on from you wouldn't be easy — especially in the bedroom.

The women he's had after you can only be counted on one hand. No matter how good the fun was with the others, his mind would always crawl back to you. It didn't matter how different their hair was, what they dressed that night, or how fucking good the sex was; you would cloud his mind in some way. They weren't you. They weren't his sweet thing.

...who's extremely perplexed in a nightclub when he sees you. He didn't want to go in the first place until Satoru Gojo barged into his apartment, dragged him out in his best attire, and left Nanami (another victim of Gojo's foolishness) to babysit Megumi and Tsumiki. And it was bad enough that Gojo snaked away from Toji to the dance floor the second they got inside, the raven-haired man almost popping a vein in vexation.

So the older man resorts to just doing the usual gig: walking around before sitting at the bar to ask for a regular beer. He stays there for nearly half an hour, taking sips of his bottle while sweet-talking to the ladies that occasionally find him and give him his number. Things got really loud when the DJ at the discothèque played "Up!" by Lil Vada and DonnySolo, all the party people crowding the floor, bumping and grinding each other while singing the lyrics. It was at this point that Toji had enough of the massive headache growing in his head, so he was about to down his beer and leave the club; Gojo be damned because the fucker could find his own way home and then some.

But midway through putting the beer bottle on his scarred lips, something in Toji's peripheral captures his attention. And his jade eyes go wide at what he sees.

Down to the right side of the dance floor are booths catered to bigger parties, so it's obvious to notice when a single person sits alone on one of the round tables while everyone else is dancing their hearts out. That one person was you, observing the dance floor with your head on your hand resting on the table.

To say that Toji was flabbergasted by the image of you in a place like this after all these years was tough for him to comprehend. Yet what really had him in a chokehold was how stunning you were. From where he stood, he could tell that you dolled yourself quite a bit. Your hair was kept in a style that displayed your face wholly, and you were wearing a beautiful halter-neck dress with slits revealing your thighs deliciously.

He forgets how to breathe when your eyes drift in his direction and find him. You're just as surprised as he is for a short moment, but you offer him a familiar smile and beckon him to come to your side of the club. The older man wastes no time, paying the bartender and making his way through the crowd to your table. When he's close enough, he can tell that your dress is backless, exposing your smooth skin that calls for him to touch.

And when Toji notices the ring on your left hand — the old wedding ring he gifted you — the world around him comes to a complete standstill.

"Hey, big guy." He snaps back to look at your beautiful face, your smile still there to blind him, and the booth far from the dance floor and music so he can listen to your sweet voice. You move to the side to make room for him to sit. "Didn't think I'd find you here."

"Me neither." He admits to you as he takes a seat, his green orbs never leaving your figure. "What are you doin' here?"

"Some friends dragged me out here for one of their birthdays. I figured I'd be here for a few hours and loosen up a bit, you know? But I don't know, I guess I'm just so used to being at my place that I'm out of practice with clubs."

Toji nods at your answer. "Yeah, I was dragged here, too. I'm with—"

"Gojo? Yeah, I thought so. He's right there dancing with my friends." He pans around to the dance floor to see commotion at the center. The snow-haired man was dancing as a crowd formed around him, getting grinded on by a woman with a "happy birthday" headband.

Gojo notices the raven-headed man staring his way, pulls down his shades, and winks. That's when the reason why Toji was brought here in the first place hits him. Gojo knew you would be here tonight because of your friend's birthday. And now that you two are sitting alone, the wink signaled Toji to make his move.

"....Wanna get the hell outta here?"

You giggle at his suggestion. "Yeah, I don't feel like watching my friends get pregnant on the dance floor."

Toji snickers and grabs your hand to lead you out of the booth. He then drapes his denim jacket over your shoulders to cover your exposed shoulders and back, and the two of you leave the club without anyone noticing a thing.

...who spends the rest of the night with you as if you two are on a date again. It's late, so many shops around the area are closed already, but that doesn't stop the two of you from having fun. From sharing a meal at a nearby diner, walking around a shopping plaza admiring the silent ambiance, and listening to old tunes in his car as you two share stuff about your day while holding hands. And the change of mood completely baffles Toji. Nevertheless, when he sees the smile on your face and hears the sweet tune of your laughter, the grasp on your hand gets tighter with every minute. All his intentions go into enjoying having you with him like this again.

...who stays by your side until he has to drop you off at your place, parked his car to walk you to your apartment door. It's 1 o'clock in the morning, way later than Toji ever intended to stay out. Not that it matters now, because it's all worth it being able to walk with you. He doesn't let go of your hand even when his heart dies a little when you two arrive at your door.

"Had a good time?" You ask while unlocking the door; your eyes showcase subtle exhaustion but are overshadowed by your smile.

"Sure as hell did since I saw you at the club." He confesses, your chuckles casting a spell on him.

"Hmm, I'm glad you were there too, Toji." You meant those words, your eyes gazing into his, and the man's plunged deep into your gorgeous orbs. A feeling that he now realizes he wants to be the only one experiencing with you.

An awkward silence for a few seconds prompts you to snatch your hand away from his, causing his stomach to drop. "Sorry, your jacket" is what you use to excuse yourself, moving to take off the denim jacket. But Toji stops you, his hands stationed on your shoulders to keep you still.

"No, it's cold, sweetie." His voice is hushed, only for you to hear. "You can give it back next time."

Silence comes back again, but the air is heavier this time. The awkwardness is replaced with something more solicitous, more affectionate. You notice it when Toji has yet removed his hands from your shoulders, his large palms warming you up to the touch.

"Toji—"

"It's alright, baby." His gruff tone is still a whisper, and butterflies flutter in your stomach. "I won't do anythin'."

"No, no," you don't know what came over you, but you place your hands on his chest. Then your finger touches something from underneath his turtleneck, having you pull his collar down to pull out the dog-tag necklace that still harbors his old wedding ring. Toji's blood shifts to ice cold when you see the accessory — his anxiousness spikes up to an all-time high, only mere seconds from combusting based on whatever your response will be. And it comes.

"I...I want you to do something, Toji." It felt strange saying those words with your shaky confidence, though it's what you wished to express. "I want you..."

And just like that, whatever restraint that the older man had for you was butchered away. Emerald eyes take in every feature of your anticipating expression, and his lips come crashing down on yours.

...who couldn't care less how late it is right now because he finally has you where he wants you after all these years. It's 2:30 in the morning, way too late for loud noises as they'll disrupt the neighbors next door. But, again, Toji doesn't care about that. When he finally has you lying under him on your stomach, screaming out his name while he drives his cock deep inside you, what is there to care about?

The two of you are in the prone bone position, where you lie flat on your belly on the cream-white satin sheets of your bed, your legs in between Toji's and bare ass out for him to have easy access to your creamy cunt that hugs onto him all so well.

Tears paint your wet and sweaty face, drool escapes from the corner of your mouth and meets the sheets beneath you. The harsh thrusts of Toji's pelvis hitting your ass with such precision have you see stars, and his big hands keep your arms still. All you can hear are the ecstatic cries of your voice and the noises of skin smacking together.

"Nnmph!! Haaaah!! Ahhhh, yesssss, Daddy, just like that," your voice feels strained from all the screaming you've been doing for the past hour. Lips are swollen from the constant biting, your butt stinging from the intense contact with your ex-husband's pelvis. It's hard to think of anything but the man above you and his dick rearranging your slit like his personal toy. You never thought you'd experience this exhilarating and rewarding sensation again. And now that you do, it's all you want to indulge in. "H-Harder, pleaseeee, I want mo—Ahhhnnn!"

Toji grinds his hips down to your ass, churning your insides and grazing your cervix to the point of incoherent babbles. "Mmmm, oooh, shit, fuckin' shit. You're too tight on me, mama." He gives you a sharp thrust when you least expect it, and the walls of your chasm clamping down on his length has him hiss. It's hard to believe you're permitting him to have you like this. It's been five years. Five years of respectful boundaries and keeping a platonic relationship. Five years of denying feelings of want and desire. All those years of heavy guilt suddenly lifted from his shoulders just for him to have you under his bow again, your body quivering and voice shaky because of his touch.

It feels so surreal...But, God, Toji missed this so goddamn much. Missing your eyes, your smile, your touch, your body. Just you. Only you. "Hnnngh!! Damn, you feel so fuckin' good, baby. Can never have enough..."

"Mnnaaaah! Daddy, I'm gonna cummm, I'm gonna—Oooohh!!" The tip of his shaft scrapes the upper walls of your vagina, your brain pounding so hard to the point it hurts. "Pleaseee, let me cum, Daddyyy..."

He can tell you're close and senses your orgasm climbing up with his. That's when the pace of his hips goes erratically fast, jabbing your sweet spots and tender cervix, causing more tears to come down and your peak to finally release for the third time that night. As you cream on his cock, Toji's not too far from his own crescendo. Your velvety walls contract around his member divinely, and the older man spills his load into your quivering figure.

You're allowed to experience the aftershocks of your orgasm as you two let your bodies calm down, Toji laying his chest on your sweaty, heaving back. He then slowly removes his dick from your chasm, and the essence of your unioned sex feels cold while sliding down your inner thighs.

"Haaaaah...Mmmm, thank you, Toji." You whimper out as he lays kisses down your neck and shoulders. "Thank you..."

But little did you know that it wasn't the last of it. Before you could apprehend what was going on, Toji already had you flipped over to your back, stationing your legs on his shoulders to a mating press. And you see that his cock is not limp yet...

W-Wait a damn second—

"T-Toji, wait, hold on!" You try to rationalize with the man who aligns his shaft to your gushing vulva, and your sweat runs cold. "It's getting late. I just came three times already! We should—Nmmmph!!"

The head of his cock slides right in thanks to the slick and come lubricating your opening. Adding his weight onto you as he pushes his length deep into your chasm again, you cry choked sobs when he meets your cervix again, and his pelvis rubs against your clitoris. "Sorry, mama. Just lemme finish here, 'kay? Daddy missed havin' you like this, so I wanna give you all of me while I still can."

...who has your fatigued self lying on his chest, rubbing circles on your back and placing soft kisses on your forehead as you feel the effects of sleep slowly creep up on you. The lights are now off, the moonlight bargaining from the curtains being the only light source as you two are ready to gather whatever amount of sleep you can get.

"Hey, baby." But before that, Toji wants your attention for the last time before you sleep.

"Mhmm?" Your eyes are closed, but your ears are still open to listen.

His eyes drift down to the left hand that lays motionless on his chest. The gem on the ring flashes softly for it to be distinguishable. "How come you were wearin' your ring at the club?"

A few seconds go by before you give him the honest truth. "Same reason you wear yours. I always wear it when going out somewhere or alone someplace. Gives people the idea that I'm not ready for anyone else."

"Then why not wear it when I'm around?"

You giggle breathlessly. "Same reason why you don't let me see yours. I don't need a ring when I have you with me. A ring doesn't compare to my big man who will love and protect me wherever we go."

And Toji doesn't ask anything else after that. He lets you fall asleep in his arms and listens to your breathing follow a melodic rhythm. Your words stick with him even when his eyes close, and he soon falls into a deep sleep.

It's far-fetched to think that you two will be married again. Maybe it's possible in his dreams, but not in the real world. Regardless, Toji knows he will always stand beside you and be there for you. With or without a ring that's merely evidence of your love to outsiders. He knows you love him, and that's all he needs to keep moving. And if he could have you as his wife again, he'd sweep you off your feet in a heartbeat.

[4barbatos]

✦ bf!venti headcanons

modern au fluff + crack .ᐟ

✦ author’s note:

it’s literally 3 am and i had to write this because i love him so much it’s physically painful.

like idk why venti fluff doesn’t make me cringe the way other fluff does… i think i’m just too far gone.

anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this little mess of venti fluff and crack as much as i loved writing it. <3

✦ bf!venti insists on carrying everything from the grocery store in one trip like a sweaty little gremlin.

“my strength stat is high, babe. i’ve got this.”

he’s wobbling with 12 bags per arm, a sack of rice on his back, and a baguette clenched between his teeth like a sword.

he trips on the stairs.

“i don’t got this” he says dramatically from the floor.

the baguette did not survive.

✦ bf!venti is the type to start a pillow fight at 2 am and then cry when you actually hit him.

“ow, babe?? that was so aggressive??”

“you smacked me first??”

“yes, but gently, with the delicate breeze of a spring wind. you swung like a storm cloud.”

you hit him again.

he squeals and tackles you off the bed.

the neighbors file a noise complaint. again.

✦ bf!venti breaks into your apartment at 11 pm because he “missed your face” and forgot he has a key.

“venti why are you climbing through my window.”

“door was locked.”

“you have a key.”

“i thought this would be more romantic. also more dramatic. also i wanted to pretend i was romeo.”

“romeo dies.”

“and i’d die for you”

you hit him with a pillow. he deserved it.

✦ bf!venti lays on top of you like a weighted blanket every time he’s tired.

“venti you’re crushing my lungs.”

“shhh. i’m recharging my bardic powers.”

“you’ve been asleep for two hours.”

“time flows differently when you’re in love.”

“that’s not how time works.”

he snores in response.

✦ bf!venti keeps buying you useless little trinkets because they “look like your vibe.”

“i saw this plastic frog holding a banjo and thought of you.”

“…thank you?”

“he’s our son now. i named him lil croaky.”

lil croaky now lives on your nightstand. he watches you sleep. venti thinks it’s romantic.

✦ bf!venti insists on being little spoon and throws a tantrum when you try to switch.

“you can’t just abandon me like this. i’m your emotional support bard.”

“i’m literally right next to you.”

“but i need to be held. like a soft little burrito. like a baby loaf of bread.”

you give in. he giggles and wiggles backwards into your arms like a smug worm.

✦ bf!venti gets the hiccups every time he laughs too hard. which would be cute if he didn’t laugh at everything.

“babe. i stepped on a grape and it made a fart sound.”

“hic—”

“you’re so dumb it’s hic—it’s adorable hic—hic—i think i’m dying.”

you have to rub his back like a baby. he milks it for 40 minutes.

✦ bf!venti kisses you while holding random objects like they’re bouquets.

he shows up at your door with a broom.

“swept off your feet, aren’t you?”

another day it’s a loaf of bread: “you’re the yeast of my heart.”

you almost cry when he gives you a literal traffic cone and says, “you’ve coned my heart.”

you kiss him anyway. you’re too far gone.

✦ bf!venti texts you “baby open the window” at 1 am. you do. he’s outside with a ukulele and no shirt on.

“i wrote a song for you. it’s called ‘please let me in, it’s cold.’”

“just use the door??”

“but this is more cinematic.”

he strums one horrible chord and sneezes mid-verse.

✦ bf!venti keeps a scrapbook of your relationship but it’s 90% dumb things you’ve said.

“you once told me that pigeons have beef with god.”

“i was tired.”

“you also said you’d fight a duck for me.”

“romantic.”

“you wrote ‘i’d let you ruin my credit score’ in a valentine’s card.”

“accurate.”

he’s crying. he thinks you’re poetry.

✦ bf!venti gets dramatic about how much he misses you even if you leave for 10 minutes.

“i watched three pigeons while you were gone. none of them were you.”

“i missed you like the sea misses the moon.”

“i made a playlist called ‘come back or i’ll die.’ it’s all just rain sounds and sobbing.”

“venti i was at the gas station.”

“AND YET I FELT EMPTY.”

✦ bf!venti sends you cursed selfies with captions like:

“just woke up. do i look like a man with secrets.”

“tell me i’m the prettiest or i’ll combust.”

“would you still date me if i looked like this during a medieval plague.”

it’s just him with a scarf wrapped around his head and two grapes stuck to his forehead.

✦ bf!venti treats every inconvenience like a tragedy only love can heal.

“they forgot my sauce at mcdonald’s. this is devastating.”

“i’ll share mine with you.”

“…you’d do that?”

“yes, babe.”

he clutches your face with ketchup fingers like you just gave him a kidney.

“i would die for you.”

✦ bf!venti walks around the apartment with his shirt tucked into his boxers and calls it “a vibe.”

“i am cozy. i am invincible. i am fashion.”

“you look like a sim that didn’t load right.”

“you look like my future spouse.”

you throw a blanket on him and he immediately falls asleep under it like a cat.

✦ bf!venti makes you sit on his lap while he plays video games “for power.”

“your presence enhances my gamer skill.”

“you’ve died five times.”

“but emotionally, i’m thriving.”

he kisses your arm mid-match and falls off the chair.

“still worth it” he says, from the floor.

✦ bf!venti won’t let you be sad for longer than 10 minutes without trying to summon joy through sheer bardic nonsense.

“you’re not smiling. unacceptable. emergency measures must be taken.”

cue: him walking in wearing a blanket cape and sunglasses, holding a loaf of bread like a sword.

“behold: the gluten knight. i will battle your sadness with carbs and interpretive dance.”

you laugh so hard you start crying.

he wipes your tears with a tortilla.

✦ bf!venti kisses you like you’re the last song before the world ends.

like every touch might be his last.

like he’s afraid the universe will forget he ever got to love you.

“you make everything sound like a poem.”

“that’s because everything is, when it’s you.”

he grins against your lips like a fool in love.

and you kiss him back like you are, too.

[zepskies]

A Line and a Half

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: When Dory’s eldest brother comes to visit her at Wyoming University, you don’t know quite what to make of Russell Shaw. But he knows exactly what he wants to make of you.

AN: Okay, here’s my first toe-dip into the world of Tracker with Russell Shaw! 1x12 gave me too many ideas not to explore this intriguing character. This is set before episode 12, but I have a little series I want to sketch out that will continue after this one-shot, so think of this as a “Part 1,” if you will. 😉

Word Count: 3.2K

Tags/Warnings: A kind of “meet cute,” attempts at flirting, and hints of setup for more to come…

You watched, silently simmering, as Dr. Goldstein added yet another packet of internship applications from his graduate students onto your desk.

Applicants that he, as the History Department Chairman, was supposed to review himself. Instead, he’d been adding these hours quite literally onto your desk. 

“If you could review these for me as well, sweetheart. Thank you,” he said. ���Get ‘em back to me by Thursday, okay?”

As a Professor of History with two doctorates in your name, you once again grated internally at sweetheart, but you tried to keep that cringe off your face as well.

Goldstein barely even met your eyes when he dropped off his burden, and then aimed to leave your office.

“Uh, Paul,” you called out, raising a finger. You stood from your desk as quickly as you could in your pencil skirt, but the man was already out the door. You followed him out, your heels clacking on the tile floor. 

Damn it. Knew I should’ve gone with pants, you said, continuing to hasten after your boss.

“Paul! Just a second,” you said. That finally managed to turn the man’s head off of his phone. He glanced at you while checking his watch.

“About the internship applications…and your midterm exam essays for that matter. Don’t you think—” you started to say, but the man spoke over you.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to run. Meeting my massage therapist at noon,” he said, and rolled a seemingly stiff shoulder under his tailored blazer. “Something’s just not right here after my trip to Cali last weekend. I don’t know what I did, pulled muscle or something. But hey, they do say parasailing is a sport.”

You quirked a brow. “Do they?”

You weren’t sure that being strapped into a parachute for a nice air glide over the Pacific counted as a sport.

Goldstein shrugged at your question and he kept walking down the hall. Though he turned back to toss you a pointed finger.

“Need those by Thursday. Thanks, you’re the best,” he said.

You watched him go, as proverbial steam began to escape through your ears. Slowly you pivoted on your heels, and you went back to your office. You grimaced at the large stack of applications. You were pretty sure he padded them with an extra section of midterm exams.

Tapping your nails on your desk, you grabbed your phone next to your desktop and checked the time. 11:30 a.m.

Screw it. I’m going to lunch, you thought.

Dory had to be out of her Intro Physics class by now, which meant she’d be in her office, ready for you to drop in on her a little early. You took up your purse and almost made it out the door…but at the last moment, your anal brain made you turn back to grab a shoulder bag and the pile of applications. Maybe you could knock out a few during lunch.

Friggin’ doormat, as your brother would say. Laughing at you, probably.

You rolled your eyes and headed back out the door with your haul of papers, purse, work bag, and keys, locking your office behind you.

Why, oh why did the Sciences building have to be on the other side of campus?

It was damn near a mile walk from your Humanities building over to Dory’s office on the second floor. Your hands were laden with packets that couldn’t be contained by your heavy work bag, your purse was slipping off your shoulder, and these heels were killing your feet.

It was a miracle you and Dory had ever met on this campus. On your first day of teaching, you’d of course been hopelessly lost. Somehow you ended up at the tail-end of one of her classes in one of the science auditoriums.

She’d been gracious enough to help you, and even walked you all the way to the Humanities building so you could find your World History class before the students decided to just get up and leave. (And after fifteen minutes, they very well would.)

That day, she became your first real friend at Wyoming University. In the three years since, she’d become your best friend.

And now, her door was mercifully open halfway. You pushed it open and stumbled just a little from the transition of tile to carpet inside her office. Your papers nearly flew from your hands, so you struggled to right yourself and contain them all back into the semblance of neatness.

“Hey, girl. You better be ready for lunch because Jesus fucking Christ. Goldstein’s up my ass again and all I’ve had today is a crusty donut from the teacher’s lounge, which I’m pretty sure was stale,” you said, with your brows furrowed in frustration.

When you finally looked up from your struggles, you realized that Dory wasn’t alone. She smiled at you in amusement, sitting at her desk beside a man who made you pause. Your eyes widened.

He was leaning casually with an elbow propped up on her desk, dressed in jeans and a worn, pale green jacket—a good match for his eyes. He looked a little rugged for Dory’s tastes, but you couldn’t fault her, with the cut of that bearded jaw, and the smile raising the corners of his lips.

“Hey,” Dory laughed. “I see you’re having a good day.”

You bit your lip in embarrassment, probably smudging your lipstick.

“I’m so sorry. I should’ve knocked first,” you said, though you could see she seemed to be having an actual good day. Office picnic? Or maybe the handsome stranger was getting ready to take her out.

Dory just waved you in. She stood and set a hand on her companion’s shoulder, and he got up along with her.

“It’s okay. This is my brother, Russell,” she said, and she introduced you in kind.

“Well, hi there,” he said. He subtly took you in with his eyes as he held out his hand. Already you felt your face heating up with more than just embarrassment.

You were a bit shocked as well, to say the least. Dory had told you some…interesting things about her family, including the fact that she had two older brothers. You wondered which one this was, the middle child, or the eldest.

“Hi! Sorry. Again. Nice to meet you,” you said. You tried to hold your hand out to reach his, but a few papers began to spill out. You clutched at them on reflex, but Russell drew in quickly to help you.

“Got yourself a load there,” he said. You agreed with an awkward laugh and a shrug of your shoulders.

“My boss’s idea of extra credit,” you said wryly.

“You can set it down on that chair over there,” Dory said, pointing to one against the back wall, next to a tall filing cabinet.

You and Russell meandered over and managed to set down the stack without casualty. You were able to pull up the straps of your bag and your purse from falling off your shoulder and give him a grateful look.

“Thanks,” you said.

“No problem,” he said, giving you an easy smile back. “I actually crashed in unannounced, so if you two wanna to head to lunch, you go right ahead.”

“Uh, no. I haven’t seen you in months! You should come with us,” Dory said. She grabbed her purse to join you and Russell by the door.

You raised your hands in placation. “Oh, I wouldn’t want to intrude, especially if it’s been a while since you’ve seen each other. You guys should catch up.”

Dory shook her head and grabbed your hand.

“Uh, uh. I want to hear the latest on Paul’s bullshit, and why you’re carrying half your office across campus. Let’s go,” she said, and gestured at your work bag. “Leave that here. You’re gonna eat and talk to me. No working involved.”

You laughed, but you agreed to her cajoling. With another glance at her brother, and those green eyes that seemed to be dancing, you joined them for lunch.

The three of you ended up at a diner that you and Dory frequented at least once a week. The food was good, the service was quick, and it was close to campus. Wins all around. Russell seemed to be enjoying himself, as he hummed in delight after the very first bite of his Philly cheesesteak.

“Sriracha on fries, huh?” you remarked, gesturing at the man’s plate. Your brow was quirked, but he shot you a smile.

“I said avert your eyes,” he teased. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it, sweetheart.”

Ugh. Another sweethearting man. You narrowed your own eyes at him a bit. He caught the look and raised a hand in defense (the one that wasn’t holding his cheesesteak).

“Uh oh. What’d I do?” he asked.

“You gave her some PTSD,” Dory said with a laugh. “Dr. Goldstein likes to sugar coat his demands with sexism.”

Russell noted your souring look with apology. You’d just finished recounting your morning for your friend, and recapping years of “sugar-coated demands” for Russell.

“Why don’t you just tell him to cram it up his…uh…” he paused. Seeing his little sister’s look of amusement, he amended. “Or you know, stuff it.”

A smile twitched at your lips. “Oh, believe me, I’d love to tell him to stuff it. But he’s technically my boss, and the department chair. Even though I’ve basically been doing his job for two years now.”

“Well, that sucks,” Russell said. “And I feel for ya. I’ve had my share of shitty bosses in my time.”

You sighed and accepted his commiseration with a nod.

It wasn’t fair, but Goldstein planned to retire early in a few years. Must be nice.

When he did, it would make you the most likely candidate to replace him as department chair. The way you saw it, this was giving you plenty of practice before you (hopefully) inherited the position.

Anyway, you shook your head. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were more curious about one Russell Shaw. You now knew he was an army vet, and he carried himself like one. Calm, controlled, even though his smiles came easy. His tousled hair and beard, while well-trimmed and neat, still gave him a roguish quality.

“So let me guess. You’re…the eldest?” you asked. You blotted at your mouth with a napkin, having finished your chicken panini.

Russell treated you to another one of those smiles, though this one held a hint of more.

“Guilty. Though I’m the handsome one,” he said with a wink.

You found yourself smiling behind your napkin.

“I’m sure,” you replied.

Dory rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him. Apparently my brother’s an incorrigible flirt.”

He chuckled and sipped at his beer, but then he grimaced.

“Ech. Friggin’ weak,” he said. “I brew better than this outta the trunk of my car.”

 You raised a brow at that. “You make your own beer?”

“Damn straight,” he said. His gaze turned a hint more playful. “Next time I’ll bring you some. You can tell me what you think.”

You shared a telling look with Dory.

“Next time, huh?” you asked.

“Sure,” he inclined his head. “I pop into town from time to time. Gotta check in and pester my little sister, the physics professor.” 

He laid a hand on Dory’s shoulder, squeezing warmly. You could see the pride in his eyes, and it warmed you as well.

She turned to him with a smile, reaching up to cover his hand with hers.

“You don’t pester me. I’d love it if I got to see you more often,” she said.

“Ah, I know, I’m sorry,” he said, releasing her. “My job’s got me all over the place. But I’ll be here for a week or so on this gig.”

That intrigued you. “What do you do for work?”

“Ah, well, you could say I'm a contractor. Private security mainly,” said Russell. His shoulders shifted as he became a little more guarded, you noticed. “My company connects me with the client for as long as the job lasts. Could be a few months, sometimes a few days, depending.”

“Oh, wow. Do you live here in Wyoming?” you asked. He paused, but tilted his head a little, back and forth as he considered your question.

“I kinda bounce around,” he said. “Just go from one job to the next. Sounds a bit unorthodox, I know, but it’s a living.”

“Interesting,” you nodded, but inside, you thought that sounded like a hard way to live.

Unstable…and lonely. 

“You know, it’s amazing how much you and Colter have in common,” Dory said. She folded her hands on the table and met her brother with a pointed look.

He huffed in response, though he glanced at you, then back at his sister. As if he was saying, You really want to do this now?

Dory had told you before that Colter was a “rewardist,” or some kind of bounty hunter. The nature of his work kept him busy, and seemingly too busy for his sister. But you also sensed there was an edgier history here.

For the first time, you felt like you were intruding in a moment between brother and sister that went beyond words.

After a moment, Russell shook his head.

“Look, I tried with him, all right? He won’t talk to me,” he said. He went back to eating, polishing off his fries. He offered you one that was half-smothered in sriracha.

“Come on. Live on the edge with me,” he teased.

You eyed the sauce-covered fry in distaste, but after glancing up at his more playful smile, you accepted his offer. You chewed in contemplation, and found that the tangy hint of kick wasn’t so bad. 

“Eh? Eeeh? Delicious, am I right?” he said, his hands going wide.

You rolled your eyes, but you nodded in agreement.

“It’s all right,” you replied.

“Yes!” Russell’s hands swept up higher, like he was celebrating a touchdown. "See, I told ya."

You couldn’t help but laugh. Dory shook her head fondly and gave him a clean napkin for the bit of schmutz she spotted at the corner of his mouth.

“Here, wipe your sriracha face.”

“You really don’t have to,” you said, as Russell helped you gather your stack of papers and slung your work bag over his shoulder.

“No, no. I’m a bonafide gentleman. Ain’t that right, D?” he asked his sister. She barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes again, but she did give you a knowing smile.

“Oh, his intentions are pure,” she said.

 And by that, you both understood her meaning. His intentions couldn’t be any clearer than a mallet over the head, but you kind of found it endearing.

This man really carried your stuff from the Sciences building across the entire campus to your office. All the while, he asked you about how you and Dory met, the kinds of things you two did together, and if you thought she was happy working here.

You had a feeling he was trying to learn more about his sister’s life. On one hand, it was rather sweet. On the other, it made you realize that there was distance in this family, both literal and figurative. You were glad to hear that Russell, at least, was trying to bridge that gap with his sister. Dory deserved to have more of that in her life.

As you explained to Russell while you led him down the hall to your office, your friendship with her had just…clicked. From the very beginning.

“Dory, you know. She’s more than kind,” you said. “She’s a real one. I can rely on her, even when I can’t rely on my own family.”

Russell hummed at that. “That sounds like a story.”

“Yeah,” you said, glancing away for a moment. You smiled and met his gaze once more. “Maybe one for another time.”

“So you’re on board with a ‘next time.’ Good to know,” Russell remarked. Your smile deepened.

It was good timing when you two finally reached your office. You unlocked it and let him inside, so he could set down your bag, and the god-forsaken stack of internship applications back onto your desk. You’d probably be stuck here working late on those.

“Well, thank you so much. You really didn’t have to schlep for me,” you said.

When you turned, Russell was a bit close. Not uncomfortably so, but enough to make a trill of something zip up your spine. You smelled more intensely his cologne, woodsy and warm. Looking up at him, you once again found his smile.

“It’s no problem,” he said, but his eyes met yours for a moment, as if he lost his train of thought.

“What?” you asked, a bit nervous.

“Anybody ever tell you, you got soulful eyes?” he asked.

It took your brain a second or two to compute, but when his words registered, you had to laugh. You held it behind your hand, while the other went to steady yourself on your desk.

 “Well, that’s a line if I’ve ever heard one,” you said, shading your “soulful” eyes with a hand.

You didn’t know it, but Russell’s face warmed in slight embarrassment. He recovered though, taking in your pretty laugh, and the shade of your hair, let loose around your shoulders, and yes, your eyes, when you let him see them again.

If he hadn’t known before, now he was convinced.

He wanted to see more of you before he left town.

“Hey, now that was 100% genuine,” Russell said, but his grin spoke volumes. When your mirth died down, he scratched the back of his head.

“Okay, cards on the table. Would you be interested in grabbing a drink with me sometime?” he asked.

You took in a breath at that. You actually did consider his offer, because homebrew and sriracha fries be damned, there was something more to him. It was lying in wait, behind those eyes that were drawing you in.

However, this was also a man whose job basically made him a nomad. It didn’t exactly scream relationship material.

Which only left the alternative: something…casual.

You just didn’t know if that alternative was such a good idea. Not with your best friend’s brother.

“Just a drink. No frills, no more grilling you about my sister,” Russell said, breaking you from your deliberation. He gestured a hand between the two of you. “Just this. You and me.”

Eventually, you sighed. Your lips raised into a more genuine smile.

“Sometime, huh?” you asked.

He smiled back. “Tonight?”

You hesitated, but despite your better judgment, you nodded before you could change your mind. You still weren’t sure what to make of this guy, but you were willing to find out.

“Sure,” you said. “Howley’s at eight?”

“Well, all right,” Russell said.

He surprised you by sweeping up your hand into his. You looked up at him, curious, but not wary. Anticipation tingled down your spine.

He pressed his lips to the back of your hand. Soft shock made your eyes widen as you blushed, feeling the subtle graze of his beard against your skin.

Who is this guy, Cary Grant? you thought.

But when he pulled away, you had to remind yourself to breathe. Again, you caught sight of his cheeky grin.   

“See you tonight,” he said.

AN: He is beauty he is grace, he is Mr. Sriracha Face. 😆

Let me know if you guys liked this! 💜 It's my first time writing a character based solely on one episode, but next up is a series that will continue this one-shot. It's called Every Second Counts.

Next Time in Part 1:

“Are you absolutely sure?” you asked, with your hands on your hips. 

You wanted no miscommunication here, no read-between-the-lines mishaps, no subtext or nuance to bite you in the ass later. So here you stood in the middle of your best friend’s office, still on the Wyoming University campus after your last class.

Dory had to laugh at you. She pushed away from her desk and threw her hands up.

“Yes, for the love of God, you can grab a drink with my brother,” she said.

▶️ Keep Reading: Part 1

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Russell S. Tag List:

@kazsrm67 @letheatheodore @agothwithheavysetmakeup @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007

@wincastifer @ades106 @iamsapphine @simpforbuckyb @roseblue373

@brianochka @branj19 @hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog @globetrotter28 @charmed-asylum

@waywardxwords @deanwinchestersgirl87 @this-is-me19 @rachiem4-blog @sweettimelady

@leigh70 @clinicallydepresso @xiphoidbones @skoveu @nyotamalfoy

@kmc1989 @jackles010378 @emily-winchester @waynes-multiverse @jessjad

@my-stories-vault @deans-spinster-witch @syrma-sensei @stellasfictionalworld @ultimatecin73

@jesllianaquilesrolonsworld @pieandmonsters @lhymer1995 @taehyungxjungkookistaekook @lovelystoriesaj

@nicksalchemy1 @spnwoman @onlyangel-444 @sexyvixen7 @illicithallways

@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

[firstkanaphans]

Hello! Sorry to jump on the train of asking you stuff about the couples😅 but i have to ask, you put earthmix and aouboom on the definitely dating list. Earthmix i have no questions about it😂, but i know next to nothing about aouboom, and id really like to know more of your thoughts on them, if that's ok with you😊💞

[Thank you to @doublel27 for helping me compile this list.]

The first thing you need to know is that AouBoom are like FK on steroids. Take the codependence of First and Khaotung, turn it up to 11, and you have AouBoom. They met on the set of Enchanté and have been inseparable ever since—so much so that they’ve talked about how some people at GMMTV don’t even know which of them is which. They just call them both AouBoom.

One of the main things I look for when trying to determine whether two actors are dating is whether they live together. I’m not sure if AouBoom have ever actually talked about their living arrangements, but if they aren’t living together, they’re certainly sleeping over at each other’s houses enough for it to be suspicious. 

Here’s a compilation video of them wishing each other happy birthday. The first is from 2022—way before they were ever paired. The second is from this year. Boom took the video at midnight as Aou was walking out of the bathroom in his pajamas, so clearly they were having a sleepover 😂

Aou also drives Boom to and from set every day and if you’ve been following Memoir of Rati at all, you'll know that they’ve had a bunch of late nights and early mornings. I'm talking filming until 3AM late. I just can't see any logical reason for him to do that unless they were living in the same place.

Another thing I look for when I'm trying to determine if two actors are dating is whether they take vacations alone together. AouBoom do. A lot. My favorite was their trip to the beach on Valentine's Day of this year when Boom posted this video which is still pinned at the top of his twitter page. 

They’re also just very attached to each other and frequently attend each other’s solo events even when they are hours away. In particular, LL showed me this video of Aou and his dad showing up to one of Boom's events several hours outside Bangkok.

Boom has also become Jasper’s de facto manager. He attends every single event they have and what I find most amusing is that no one teases him for it the way they do when Phuwin or Perth or Dunk show up. It's almost like it’s just a given that he's going to be there.

I don’t know, guys. There’s just something about them. It’s in the way GMMTV sent them to all of their marriage equality events even though they weren’t technically a branded pair at the time. It's in the way directors always give them the high heat roles in otherwise very tame shows. It's in the way Aou talks about being jealous of Boom's crush on "The Vet" as if it's a conversation they've actually had in real life and not just something they bust out for fan service.

Oh, and they have matching jewelry. Y'all know how much I love matching jewelry.

All in all, I'm less confident about them than I am about EarthMix, but I still think they're way more likely to actually be dating than any of the other CPs. I just think they're neat 🥹

I'm also going to tag @lazzarella, @elliebirdwrites, and @sherrymagic because they all know these two much better than me. Feel free to educate us if you have any additional lore you would like to share!

[portraitofalinkonfyre]

How The Links Got Their Names

Notes: Written for @mirensiart <33

Link Lofty was ready. 

“In two miles, turn right on West Holdrege Street to arrive at your destination of 5805 West Holdrege Street”, his GPS, Fi, blared at top, scratchy volume, nestled in the cozy dashboard of his 2011 Volkswagen Beetle. He didn’t particularly care for driving, because Zelda was more than happy to step up–as she tended to do a lot in their relationship–but something told him the love of his life wouldn’t be especially pleased to know he was risking his life for what had to be the dumbest idea he’d had to date, and that was factoring in the calamity that was his bitch of a boss–cleverly nicknamed “Demise” for his cruel and unusual enforcement of company policy and iron-fist when any and all interns were involved; Link himself had been one of those interns, but now he was manager, so Mr. Ganon Gerudo could fuck himself right where it hurts—into the convoluted, rather-insane equation. 

So, when his phone had dinged one innocuous afternoon to inform him that he’d been added to an even more innocuous nine-person messenger group, there was little Link could do but read the ringleader’s—who was also named Link!–message, which proclaimed a date, set of coordinates in Nebraska, of all places, and intent to fight over their shared name. 

It was… well, Link thought it was rather fascinating, so, after obscuring the message group from his girlfriend Zelda’s well-meaning gaze, he promptly scoured his mind for an excuse to be in Nebraska on any day, eventually landing on the time-tested ‘business trip’ spiel, only that his manager had been extra considerate in informing him a year early. He didn’t consider it lying, because it really was business, just not the type his beloved thought as she wished him farewell through the driver’s window of their shared sky-blue Volkswagen, waving from the driveway until he was out of sight. 

And now, six grueling hours later, he was here. The sky was a healthy, cloudless cerulean, melding almost seamlessly with the building-dotted horizon as Link pulled off the highway, tires crunching as they made contact with the thin gravel of the country-esque road. A sense of calm washed over the man as he drove, easily navigating to his destination with Fi’s ever-screamed assistance. 

A folded piece of paper lay in the pocket of his white-washed jeans, bearing names like Quentin, Theo, and, Zelda’s personal favorite after a spectacularly sneaky game of ‘what would you name me if I was a dog’: Skyler. Link wasn't sure how he felt about the first two, provided the Master-batter—his trusty and appropriately-named baseball bat—proved to be no match for his opponents, but he could get on with Skyler, if worse came to worst. Probably because that would give him grounds to call his beloved “Sun” without having to explain any wonderfully cheeky wordplay. 

The road stretched on and on. Link checked his rearview mirror, noting the appearance of a man riding a rather flashy black motorcycle and an equally flashy, royal-blue Dodge Challenger pulling in behind him. He glanced at the clock—11:50 am—and halfheartedly wondered if this was his competition. 

In the distance, a chrome-white Toyota Tacoma was parked by the road, a tall blonde man leaning against the bed, smoking what appeared to be a half-finished cigarette. He looked distinctly familiar; perhaps Link Lon-Lon? Link had taken care to scroll the members list last night so the situation couldn’t possibly confuse him more than it already did. Behind Lon-Lon, another blonde man—dressed in a brilliant blue tracksuit that contrasted harshly with the corn-colored swathes of hair that grew from his head, so long that Link swore they seemed infinite at first glance—sat atop the dented roof of a lapis Subaru Outback that looked like it had seen many better days. 

With a sigh worthy of someone in the depths of seasonal depression, Link pulled onto the side of the road, taking a few short breaths to compose and prepare himself for the fuckery that was about to ensue. When he was ready, he stepped out of the vehicle and grabbed the Master-batter from the backseat, knowing full well that his life would never fully be the same once this was over. 

Link—er, Wild, because he’d been mentally practicing going by a new name on the incredibly rare off-chance that one of the other blokes he invited to the middle of nowhere managed to get the upper hand—was ready. He watched stoically as three more vehicles slithered down the winding road: a sky-blue Volkswagen that only a sane (that was going to be a problem, because he was banking on the fact that they were all a little insane) person would dare own, obsidian motorcycle than he wouldn’t mind stealing if Zelda hadn’t forced him to promise to try and be a law-abiding citizen, and a Dodge Challenger that somehow managed to be bluer than the ever-brilliant sky. 

As the vehicles pulled closer, Link Lon-Lon, the first to arrive after him, sighed with the defeat only a father would know, putting out his cigarette and standing to his full, impressive height, arms crossed over what Link had to admit was an especially beefy chest. How old was this guy, forty? Fifty? Sixty? He certainly talked like it, Link gathered after a tense first meeting to confirm that the man was here for the name and not because he lived in an underground bunker hidden somewhere on the property.

The Link in the adorable Volkswagen exited first, relinquishing a fucking baseball bat from the backseat before walking forward; steps tentative, yet determined. Link hopped from the roof to greet him. “Hey, Link!” he called, waving both hands over his head. Lon-Lon watched the exchange quietly, small tendrils of smoke still puffing from his lips. “You are Link, right?”

The man in question nodded, sending his chocolate-blonde hair into a shaking mess with every bob. “That’s me,” he paused, looked down at his bat, then back at Link, expression somewhat incredulous. “...And you’re Link?”

Link–Wild, he reminded himself, wondering how many times Zelda would smack him over the head if he turned up at her lab with a whole new name–nodded with much more visible excitement. “That’s me!” he parroted, just to fuck with the other man, who was beginning to look just as amused as Lon-Lon. “Last name?”

“...Lofty.”

Link made a show of pulling out a pre-made checklist scribbled on the back of one of Zelda’s abandoned worksheets and checking off one “Link Lofty”. Both Lon-Lon and Lofty stared at him, and, oh, did it feel good to be regarded as though he was brilliantly insane. 

Someone cleared their throat, and another man approached the group. He was tall and built, dressed in what Link could only describe as the most sexy un-sexy biker get-up he’d seen since Zelda shamed him into parting with his dearly-beloved YouTube shorts. Effortlessly-tousled dirty-blonde hair swept across his forehead, parted in a manner that made Link–Wild–briefly consider chopping his hard-grown hair off to replicate it. 

“‘M gonna guess y’all are Link?”

Dear Hylia, was that a country accent? Swoon! 

“That’s me!” Link—Hylia, he really needed to remember that it could be ‘Wild’!–-chimed, just as the two others responded similarly. Yeah, this was already weird, but when wasn’t it? Zelda liked to say it was his superpower, in addition to being more indestructible than a cockroach. “Name?”

Sexy-cowboy’s brow furrowed. His hip, the one the biker helmet was poised on, cocked incredulously. He did not look amused. “...Link Ordon.”

Lofty looked up, his fingers fingering the end of his very metal, very dangerous bat. Should Link have banned those? Naw. “Oh, from Kentucky?”

The newly-named Ordon’s expression softened some, and he broke into a grin. “Tha’s right, ya’ve been?”

“Once, with my girlfriend,” Lofty smiled, relinquishing part of his hold on the bat to brush a bit of hair from his face. Link watched; he didn’t understand why they were getting chummy when they were here to fight for name custody, but he was hardly one to judge. 

“Good fer ya,” Ordon suddenly snapped his fingers. “Hey, y’all try our pumpkin stew last ya were there?”

“I think so! It was really good, but I prefer the one from my hometown.”

Just like that, there was silence. Ordon’s expression returned to something vaguely constipated, and, oh dear, was that cultural offense? Oh no? Link shared a half-glance with Lon-Lon, who looked seconds away from relighting his cigarette. 

“Lemme guess, yer from Skyloft City?”

Lofty looked apprehensive, like he was going to piss. Or take a defensive swing with that bat. Link wasn’t sure which was worse. “...Are we going to have a problem?”

Before Orodon could answer, the doors to the Dodge Challenger that had been idling on the opposite side of the road finally swung open, revealing—

“Ya invited a fuckin’ child?!” Ordon exclaimed in abject horror. 

—what appeared to be a fourteen-year-old boy and his very gay, alcohol-addicted father. Well, Link rather assumed that after all the simultaneous 2 am fashion designer quotes dotting his page and the divorced-dad vibes the guy seemed to naturally exude, but he could never be sure. Should he ask? Zelda would have said no, followed by a half-hearted smack to the back of his head for behaving like a hyperactive toddler, but Link wasn’t Zelda, which meant he was thus lawless. 

“ARE YOU THE FATHER?!” He screamed across the road as the man and boy approached. Lon-Lon facepalmed, while Ordon and Lofty looked chagrined by the mere insinuation that he’d invited a child into this madness. It wasn’t Link’s fault; they were friends on Hyrule Messenger, so how was he supposed to exercise proper internet procedure and check bios?

“He’s done with life,” the fourteen-year-old answered with the confidence of a forty-year-old man. “That’s why we’re getting soft tacos later.”

The man in question scowled, looking down at his companion. He too was blonde, though it was far lighter than the likes of Ordon and Lofty, possibly even Link himself, who was quite proud of his ability to blind most people when his hair hit any patch of light. “Sailor— I swear to—”

“Sailor? You’re changing your legal name to ‘Sailor’?” Link interjected; incredulous, and the smallest bit baffled. He knew Wild was a bit… out there, but this was a whole different issue. What kind of father would allow that? 

Ordon made a noise of confusion. “Hol’ up, legal name?” 

“...You’re kidding me,” Link’s jaw fell open, but he closed it quickly after remembering that Zelda was the only one interested in seeing him like that. “I mentioned that, like, two-hundred days ago.”

Realization dawned upon the group. Gay-father and Ordon looked shocked, while Lofty fingered the paper Wild could see poking from the front pocket of his jeans and Lon-Lon’s expression drifted ever closer to mirroring Link’s—or was he Wild? Did he care anymore??—mugshot after getting caught setting his girlfriend’s kidnapper’s residence on fire. Only Link—the child—pulled out his phone to be remotely helpful. 

“You didn’t,” the fourteen-year-old paused, then resolved to continue making the rest of them look dumb with his advanced vocabulary. A few taps could be heard. “You’re a lot more articulate over text though.”

Wild—Aw, jeez, Link—bristled. He placed his hands on his hips and tried to look intimidating, but he was also short as hell, so it definitely didn’t have the same effect as it would if Lon-Lon had instantaneously chosen violence to end the conundrum before it robbed an ounce more sanity from everyone involved. “What did you think I meant?”

“Ah thought ya meant nicknames,” stated Ordon. He also held a piece of crumpled paper in his hand, though, unlike Lofty, the look he shot it could have ignited stone. 

Ah, thought Wild in a moment of clarity stolen from Zelda, definitely a nickname. 

JSSSSHHHHH!

All heads turned when a beat-up brown 1981 Toyota Land Cruiser came barreling over the hill, screeching to a stop over the hot, dry grass. Apparently, this Link didn’t see the merit of obeying traffic laws, which was both totally respectable and highly encouraged. All was silent as the driver's door jiggled, and Link could vaguely see the outline of a brown-haired man through the tinted windshield. 

The door jiggled some more, and a muffled curse filtered out from the interior of the Toyota. 

A beat passed. 

The jiggling grew more furious. 

Ordon took a half step forward. Wild—Link—tried not to observe his shapely calves, even if it was just to marvel at how anyone could be so goddamn thicc. “...Ah’m gonna—” 

As if by fate, the door swung open with a loud bang. The man inside, who looked far younger without all the tint in the way, lowered his foot and stepped out. He was about the same height as Link himself, with mahogany-colored curls that looked just as untamed as Link’s penchant for getting himself into any and all manner of trouble. 

“Hi,” said the new guy. He sounded shy. He also looked easy to pin. Link was not intimidated. Until the other man reached into the side of the door and pulled out what appeared to be an aerosol can and a lighter. 

Suddenly, Link was intimidated, though it was Lon-Lon who beat him to the punch. 

“Absolutely not.”

The Curly Link seemed to deflate a bit. He glanced down at his treasures, then back at the group. Specifically Link—Wild—who was quite obviously the ringleader of the operation, considering the clipboard he had raised over his chest like a shield. “...I didn’t see a weapons list,” he defended. 

Ah, Wild knew he had forgotten something. Drat. He lowered his clipboard now that there wasn’t any imminent danger of being spontaneously ignited. “...Last name?”

“Wait, Cap, does that mean we can’t use the rifle?” Came “Sailor’s” whisper to his obviously gay guardian at the back of the group. 

Curly Link hesitated. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a torn piece of paper so yellow it may as well have been parchment, squinting at it for several long seconds before mumbling: “...Hyrule?”

Wild checked his list, ignoring how closely the other man’s admission sounded to a question. There was no mention of a Link Hyrule, but there was an entry without a last name, so he merely scribbled ‘Hyrule’ beside it in a few chicken-scratch letters. “Cool. And what’s your backup name?”

There was a pregnant pause. Then, with a fair bit more conviction, he spoke: “Hyrule.”

Okay. Wild–Link, or was ‘Wild’ simply who he was now??–could deal with that. He checked his list once more. There were two Links still unaccounted for, but he had a pretty good feeling about the situation when a beat-up grey Volkswagen Jetta swerved onto the dusty road, tires screeching across the pavement as the driver expertly barreled towards their gathering of insanity. 

All eyes were on the Jetta as it pulled behind Lofty’s beetle, 

The first thing Wild noticed about this new Link was that he was short as hell. Not just a bit smaller than average, because he technically was too, but when even the literal fourteen-year-old had height on what Link—Wild???—assumed to be a man in his twenties, if his profile was to be believed, it wasn’t hard to notice. Stick-straight blonde hair framed his face, held up by a vibrant green bandana that somehow managed to avoid clashing with the bloody crimson of his sweatshirt and equally obnoxious violet boots. In the background, ‘Cap’ shuddered. Clearly, this was an extreme case of blue-collar wardrobe blindness, but that was neither here nor there. Wild rather thought the crimson was a fantastic idea on the off-chance that large quantities of blood were spilled in their zeal for autonomy. 

All eyes continued to watch as the newcomer bent to rummage in the center council for what appeared to be his phone. When he straightened, the device was tapped several times and the sound of a picture being taken could be heard, likely in case some grievous medical emergency occurred. Obviously, this Link had his shit together and Wild should thus ignore the fact that he was also carrying a mechanic’s wrench the size of Ordon’s forearm, As a treat. 

Link—Wild????—brandished his clipboard as their latest victim approached. “Are you—?”

“Link Smith,” said Shorty without missing a beat. He shoved his phone in the back pocket of his surprisingly-normal jeans, and propped the wrench onto his shoulder in a move that should not have been as cool as it was. 

“...And back up name—?”

“Four.”

There was a stunned silence. Cap’s eye twitched. 

“You know we’re betting on legal names, right?”

Link Smith, or ‘Four’, as Wild was realizing he’d have to call the guy now, remained completely unfazed. “I’m aware.”

There was a cough from Hyrule. “...Divergent?”

The tips of Four’s ears colored a light pink. He gave his own cough, and waved the wrench in a dismissive arc that nearly took Ordon’s kneecap off. “Perish the thought.”

But Curly Link was not to be deterred. “No, no, I actually really like the book–”

“You can read?” Wild blurted. 

“—and— hey! That’s rude!”

“Says the guy who brought a flamethrower to a fight,” Sailor chimed in. He eyed Wild penetratingly. “And you don’t have to know how to read to enjoy books.”

Wild let his hand extend in the direction of the teenager-turned-only-adult-in-the-group-besides-Lon-Lon. “Link— Sailor— Buddy— I’m going to hold your hand when I tell you this…”

Sailor’s face immediately twisted in displeasure, hands raised as he backed away. “No thank you! I’m fourteen, not four!” he then paused, caught Four’s eye, and coughed. “Not you. You’re cool.”

“I know,” said Four in the mildest tone Wild had heard from someone so tiny. 

Ordon cleared his throat. “Ah hate ta interrupt, but ah’ve got a bull rifle out back an’ it seems like we’re goin’ for fists here.”

Wild took a cursory glance at the Kentuckian’s motorcycle. Sure enough, there was a large elephant rifle strapped to the side of the vehicle. Was that legal? Did he care? “Actually, my girlfriend suggested pool noodles, but we can totally do that too if you’re willing to have an armed battery charge on your record.”

Zelda had not, in fact, suggested pool noodles. But what Zelda wouldn’t know wouldn't hurt her. 

A beat passed. 

“Let’s make this quick,” said the tallest of them. Link wanted to call him “Shut-eye” on account of his, well, visibly shut right eye, but that seemed a bit mean considering the poor man would be forced to change his legal name in a few short minutes. “My wife expects me home by sundown.”

“It’s noon,” deadpanned Link. Liar, it was 12:13 pm, but who was counting? 

The crack of knuckles rang through the air. “Exactly.”

Part two anyone?

[haetrack]

spur of the moment (ldh)

part 2 here!

pairing: haechan x afab!reader

wc: 2.1k

warnings: basically just smut (sorry), perv!haechan, masturbation (male), bed humping, fleshlight, he thinks about reader who he doesn’t really talk to, unprotected sex mentioned, he’s kinda gross here (sorry to haechan), thinks he’s a dom, he’s really not, not edited

a/n: i genuinely do not know what caused this but it was truly a spur of the moment (walks away)

there’s a certain ache in his back and strain in his fingers.

after being sat at his desk playing a game for… an unknown amount of hours, haechan can finally feel the pain settling in. it’s not exactly his fault though, an event came up for his favorite game, and if he didn’t get the prize for completing the challenges, he’d never be able to live with himself. he plays it off like it’s a joke, but it would probably haunt his dreams if he never got the mysterious prize.

haechan checks the time at the bottom of his computer screen, reading just a little past 11 pm. his friend had stopped playing earlier after feeling like he wasn’t making any progress, to which haechan told his friend it was because he sucks ass. he stretches in his gaming chair, and his body responds by making large cracking sounds. he cringes at the sound and decides it’s probably best if he goes to sleep.

he makes a quick trip to his restroom to freshen up. once he’s finished, he goes to his bed. it’s not made and his blanket is thrown haphazardly across it. he crawls into it, body laid flat onto it. he drapes the blanket over his body, his hands crossed over his stomach as he shuts his eyes.

haechan tries. haechan really tries to go to sleep. he’s not sure if it’s because he was attached to his computer screen for half of the day, but he can’t stop thinking. he’s not really thinking of anything, he just knows it’s there. he tries laying on his sides, tries laying flat down, even tries curling up into a ball. it’s not until he moves to lay on his stomach where he shifts his hips, his cock suddenly twitching in interest.

he internally groans, but a small smirk forms on his face. he moves his hips slowly to grind down onto his bed, the feeling of his shorts rubbing against him causing him to softly groan out. it doesn’t take long for him to grow hard, his body suddenly becoming very needy from lack of attention recently. okay, fine, lack of attention from another person in a while.

haechan continues grinding down onto his bed, his body growing hot at the sensation. he feels kinda pathetic for doing this, back arching in order to gain the most pleasure. he can feel his tip leaking with precum, staining the front of his shorts, which will eventually stain his sheets. his hands grip tightly onto his sheets, his moans successfully covered by his face shoved into his pillow. he can’t see his own face, but he can tell he’s red.

haechan realizes he’s very close to cumming. the realization of him getting close from humping his own bed like a dog in heat dawns on him. embarrassment floods his head, and he moves to sit up. he’s breathing quite heavily, sweat forming at his hairline. his mind shifts to the box under his bed, containing an item he’s quite embarrassed about.

he gets down on his knees to look under his bed, a shaky hand reaching out to find the box he’s stashed away from the world. inside of the box, he reaches for his fleshlight. in his mind, he tries to defend himself by saying it was just a gag gift and nothing more, but the amount of times he’s used it says otherwise. he promises that he’s not a gross pervert, he can’t help that it feels better than his hand.

while moving to lay back down on his bed, a thought crosses his mind: he’s not quite sure when he’s last cleaned it. once again, he promises he really isn’t a gross person and he’s actually very clean. he tries not to let this ruin his session though, he just decides to clean it now and move on. he gets back up to move to his restroom, reaching for his glasses to slide them back onto his face.

he reaches his sink, and he looks in the mirror to really assess what he’s doing. he’s about to clean his pocket pussy just so he can quickly get off. a feeling of shame passes through him, is this really who he is as a person?

the shame quickly leaves his body as he begins washing it. he lets water drip through it, and he pumps soap in his hands in order to clean it. one more promise, he swears he at least cleaned the cum out of it last time, he was just scared of how dust might collect under his bed. anyways, he lathers soap onto his fingers and presses his pointer and middle finger to the small hole of the fleshlight.

he pushes his soap-lathered fingers in, and his face heats up once again. the warm water caused the inside of the fleshlight to feel warm too, and, well, he can’t help but think it’s like the real thing. his dick twitches in interest at the thought of it, and he can’t help how his hips hump into the counter of his sink. a small moan escapes his lips, the thought of sex making his body move on its own.

he continues pumping his fingers in and out of the toy, fingers appearing out the other side. the warm water and soap help aid the movement of his fingers, and he imagines that it would be how warm and wet your pussy would feel around him.

he pauses his movements at his sudden thoughts. he’s not quite sure how his thoughts moved to think of you, the person who sits in front of him in his ethics class. he only took the class because he had to, but he doesn’t mind waking up early in order to see the outfits you wear, to hear your voice answer the professor’s questions. and no, he’s never really talked to you, besides the time you turned around and asked how his morning was.

he remembers the interaction, he somehow stuttered answering you, the sight of your lips moving and your eyes looking up at him because of the elevated row. from that point forward, he knew he had to at least talk to you once before the semester ends. he was so sure he wasn’t obsessed with a person he doesn’t know too well, but his actions right now prove otherwise.

accepting the fact that he’s going to get off to the thought of you, his movements turn hasty. his hips move to the rhythm of his fingers, his shorts rubbing against his tip perfectly. small whimpers fall from his mouth, the thought of you under him, him fingering you and you crying out his name proving to be too much for his mind. his thumb moves to the fake clit, making small circles over it. he imagines you begging for release, telling him how much you need him.

with his mind racing, he reaches down to pull his cock free from the confines of his shorts. he can’t let himself cum without the warmth of your pussy, can’t imagine not fucking your pussy full of his cum. his dick slaps against his stomach, waiting to be touched. he positions the toy in front of him, imagines that he’s bending you over the sink, forcing you to watch him fuck you.

haechan pushes his dick slowly into the toy, biting down onto his bottom lip to stop the moan that threatens to escape him. it’s warm and wet, the water helps ease his dick slowly into it. once he’s fully in, he has to stop and take a few breaths in order to stop himself from cumming so fast. he feels like a loser from almost cumming too fast from a toy, and he looks up into the mirror to see how flushed his face is, sweat dripping down his temples.

horniness overrides his embarrassment as he swivels his hips against the toy, the tip of his dick reaching out the other side of it. he slowly slides back out of the toy before slamming his hips back into it. the warmth sends shivers down his spine, and he can’t help but think about how you would be begging for him to move already. “c-can’t let my baby wait, right?” he whispers out to the hypothetical thought of you under him.

he lets his hips move on their own, his mind completely filled with the thought of you. whimpers slip out from the drag of his tip against the toy. if you were here with him, he’d force you up to look at the two of you in the mirror, he’d whisper in your ear and tell you how dirty you are. instead, he looks up and sees the image of him, his hair sticking to his forehead and fog filling up his glass lenses. how dirty.

whimpers of your name fill the restroom, and if he thinks hard enough, he can feel you in front of him. his hips slapping against your ass, his hands would grip onto your hips before moving onto your chest to grope around. he’d bite down onto your shoulder before licking a strip up your neck. your hand would reach for his to drag it down to your clit. “my baby needs more?” and you would nod along to his words, whimpering out a please, haechan.

of course, he would always give you what you want. his hand moves to the front of the pocket pussy, rubbing at the clit, his other hand tightening around the toy to imagine how it would feel for you to clench around him. his cock presses deep inside, everything feeling too much for him to hold back anymore.

“tell me what you need, baby, ‘m so close- oh fuck- need you to talk to me.” haechan would groan in your ear. he imagines you would babble back to him, “please let me cum, love you so much, always wanted this, please make me cum haechan.”

he’s huffing, heavy breaths turning to whimpers. it feels too real, as if you were really there with him. how soft your skin would feel, how your voice and your moans would tell him everything he needs to hear. how your tight pussy would suck him in, cementing how much you really love him. you would tell him how much you love him, how good of a boyfriend he is. you would try to reach back to kiss him softly on his lips, contrasting your perverse actions.

he’s too far in his head to realize that he’s the pervert. he’s pathetically getting himself off to you, who he’s only talked to once, with a fake pussy. he could’ve just gone to sleep, seen you tomorrow and asked if you would like to hang out with him, but he’s doing this. he can’t talk to you normally, so he needs to fuck a toy in order to feel close to you. you mean so much to him, and you’ve only shown interest in him once. that’s all he needs from someone like you, pretty enough for him to imagine cumming deep in you.

“you’d let me cum in you, r-right? let everyone know who you belong to?” he’s rambling now, pretending you’re nodding along to his words, telling him to shove his cum deep inside of you. his fingers messily rub against the clit, his mouth open, drool spilling past his lips. his glasses slip down his nose, too sweaty and too fogged up for him to see out of anyway.

his dick is twitching, his balls tightening. although he wishes he could be like this forever, the moment is ending too fast for him to stop. “gonna give you everything,” a loud moan cuts him off, “i love you so much.”

his dick slams into the toy, spurts of cum drip out of his tip and into the sink. his hips subconsciously move on their own in order to release the last of his cum into the toy. he has to catch his breath, the orgasm feeling too real. he slowly slips out of the toy, feeling too overly sensitive to move too fast.

he keeps his tip at the entrance, watching the last of his cum slip out of the toy. it feels too real, and his fingers move absentmindedly to shove the cum back into the fake pussy. after a few moments, it feels as though he’s regained consciousness. he looks around to see his cum all over the sink and on his fingers. he sighs, using his clean hand to scratch the back of his sweaty neck.

he’s not sure how he’s going to look you in the eyes tomorrow.

taglist: @froggyforyoongi

[wishpid]

Reunited

Pairing: Leehan x reader

Length: 695 words Genre: Request, fluff

Synopsis: Due to his busy schedule, you haven't been able to see or talk much with your boyfriend. But now that he's finished with comeback promotions, Leehan and you are content to stay in the one another's space for the next 24 hours

Warnings: use of leehan's birth name, reader is lowkey obsessed w/ leehan's scent (my bad 😬), mention of reader standing on tip-toes, description of a soft make out, smelling each other

Note: i tried copying leehan's texting style but y'all be the judges of how i did. hopefully it sounds somewhat like him based off his weverse. also hoping the texts between reader & leehan make sense 🙇‍♂️; someone let me know if they don't & i'll edit this so it does More: Click here to check out my orchard to find more of my works!

── ⋆⋅ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ⋅⋆ ──

You burrowed your nose further into the pillow in your grasp. The casing only carrying the faintest hint of your boyfriend's scent. You pouted, whipping your phone out from the depths of the blankets.

'The pillow doesn't smell like you anymore ˃̣̣̥᷄ ᴖ ˂̣̣̥᷅ ‎'

'You won't need it much longer. I'll see you soon 🖤'

You sat up quickly as you read and reread Leehan's reply. Fingers hastily typing on your phone's virtual keyboard, not caring about properly spelling (thank god for autocorrect).

'REALLY?!

When?

I'll make your favorite'

'🧐

Jellies!'

'Kim Donghyun. *picture* '

You scooted yourself to your bedside, slipping off from it and into your house slippers. Making your way to the wardrobe, you pulled out a pair of bermuda shorts and one of the shirts Leehan left behind. Bringing the piece of clothing to your nose, you sighed happily. It was hard to get used to how much you missed Leehan during the boys’ comeback schedules. You began getting ready to go to the store while thinking of a proper dinner for the two of you. Deciding on mini pizzas, you then searched your kitchen; making a mental list of items to get alongside your boyfriend's gummies. Patting your pockets, you double-checked that you had your wallet, phone, keys, and headphones. You placed one earbud into your ear as you entered the elevator, humming as you played the music. The grocery trip was uneventful, your focus on quickly returning to your apartment. You knew from experience that the both of you would want to cuddle after reuniting which meant you needed to finish the other small chores on your list before then. Thankfully, it was only 11 am when you arrived home; you wouldn't have to rush in your cleaning. You got to work: putting away the groceries along with the clean dishes, then wiping the counters before dusting and sweeping.

"I'm home" you heard Leehan call out from where you were tidying up the bedroom. You rushed to the corridor, throwing your arms around the tall male. His own wrapped around you, the two of you enjoying the physical touch.

"I missed you" you whispered as you slightly pulled back to look at your boyfriend. Reaching for him with your tiptoes, you leaned up to kiss Leehan.

"I missed you" he replied back as he tightened his hold on you. Gesturing with your head, you motioned towards the coach with a questioning eyebrow. Leehan nodded, separating enough to grab your hand before moving to the couch. Maneuvering yourselves around, you and Leehan attached back to one another.

"Your hair's still soft," you said as you caressed his blonde hair. "I'm glad." Leehan hummed, eyes closed as your fingers went over his face. Taking advantage of your position, you plastered kisses onto his lips. Leehan reached around, holding your nape to keep you in place. He gently nipped at your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth open. His fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. You felt ticklish as Leehan's digits sometimes grazed your side. His tongue licked up into your mouth, exploring the cavity in soft earnest. There was nothing that compared to kissing Leehan. Each time felt like the first and left you lightheaded. But kisses like these were your favorite type when it came to Leehan. You enjoyed being able to just feel the love between the both of you. Languidly sucking and licking at each other's mouth, unable to get enough but not desperate for more. Running out of air, the two of you finally separated from another. You leaned your forehead onto his, breathing heavily into each other's space.

"Is this my shirt?" Leehan asked, his voice teasing despite him still catching his breath. You hid your blush by tucking yourself into Leehan's shoulder.

"I told I missed you," you mumbled with a pout. You inhaled Leehan's cologne before adding "and your scent". He laughed as he pulled you tight against him. Leehan placed a kiss onto your temple, getting a sniff of your scent for himself. The two of you got comfortable, relaxing your holds on each other.

"I missed you just as much."

[marlynnofmany]

Not Special

The refueling station was on a small moon in the back end of nowhere, close to nothing but a couple of wormhole junctions. Since it had a little convenience store and everything, it really gave off “7/11 next to a desert highway” vibes. Just, y’know, in space. The moon wasn’t big enough for proper gravity or air on its own, so someone had installed a gravity generator under the dusty red ground. And turned it up just a smidge too high, but I wasn’t going to complain.

I was going to buy pre-packaged alien snacks at the store while my coworkers handed the refueling. Mimi was calling the shots, tentacles waving and gravelly voice audible from here, while the Frillian twins handled the heavy lifting of connector hoses and Captain Sunlight was at the payment kiosk. The others were either staying onboard or already browsing the aisles.

I’d just picked up a pack of something colorful (doing an artful fumble-and-recovery because of the gravity) when a rowdy group of Armorlites trooped in. I didn’t pay them too much attention — just a bunch of macho dinosaurs with holstered blasters and bipedal swagger; totally normal here — but one of them said something that brought me up short.

“Hey look, another human,” said the cheerful voice. “Maybe you can get some tips on how not to be such a disappointment.” Raucous laughter followed.

I frowned in their direction and saw that they did have a human with them: a pale and unassuming guy just a bit shorter and stockier than me. He looked annoyed by the comment, but not surprised.

When he walked over to me, I asked, “What’s that about?” The Armorlites were already ignoring him.

The guy sighed. “They heard a lot of stories about humans before they hired me, and I don’t meet their expectations.”

“What kind of stories?”

“Humans doing daring things, like running for hours to get medicine to dying people, catching a diseased rat before it infected an entire space station, throwing fruit at charging fauna hard enough to make it leave…” He ticked things off on his fingers. “Exorcizing a ghost, and riding a hoversled like a skateboard fast enough to catch a bomb before it blew up. How am I supposed to compete with that?” He threw his hands in the air.

“Um,” I said, putting down the snack I was still holding. “Would it make it better or worse to know those were all the same person?”

“What?”

“The rat wasn’t actually diseased, the ghost was a howling dog, and I didn’t know the thing was explosive when I rushed to catch it,” I said. “And I wasn’t the only person throwing things at the fauna.”

“What?” he repeated, with a spread-arms gesture that smacked into the shelf. Rubbing his hand, he asked, “That was all you?”

“Yeah,” I admitted. “Unless there are other humans doing the same things, which is possible.”

He raked fingers through his hair, setting it at odd angles. “I can’t believe this. I’d tell them, but they’d just want to hire you instead.”

I rushed to assure him, “I’ve got a job already, and I don’t want to take yours.” I glanced over at the Armorlites, who were grabbing food and accessories. One clicked a flashlight on in another’s face, prompting curses from him and laughter from the others. That tracked from what I’d seen of Armorlite culture before. Toughness was important. Kindness, not so much. “What do you do for them?”

He sighed again. “Bookkeeping, officially. They needed somebody to handle the boring stuff like money and permits while they focus on hunting the biggest animals they can sell.”

“Gotcha. That sounds … exciting.”

“It’s not. It’s like going on a trip with my cousins again, except they’re even bigger and make fun of me for not having claws.”

“You’ve got other stuff going for you, though!” I said. “We just need to figure which of your differences they’ll respect most.”

“I’m all ears,” he said with a certain level of sarcasm. “Please tell me what about my fragile human physique will get me respect from the Mighty.”

Oh right, they did call themselves that. I’d almost forgotten. At least they were a straightforward species without a lot of mysterious depths.

“Well,” I said, thinking. “They like fighting. You’re more suited to stealth than they are, small enough to hide and do sneak attacks that they wouldn’t see coming. What if you introduced them to rubber band warfare, and sniped from hidden parts of the ship?”

“Nope,” he said. “That would just end with me cornered somewhere, and them showing off how even thin scales are tougher than my skin.”

“Good point. Oh! What kind of animals do they hunt? You said big ones, but do you know the specific names?” I got out my phone and brought up the database of known fauna that I’d talked Captain Sunlight into buying for me. As her own hired animal expert, it was really the kind of thing that I should have. My vet training on Earth only went so far.

“Uhhh, I think the last one was a treehorn,” he said. “Wait, they talked about going for Argoshan Dagger Birds next.”

“Right. Now what kind of noises do those make…” I typed quickly. Big creatures indeed, by the looks of it: Dagger Birds had prevented more than one colony from getting a foothold in the wilds of a nearby world, and were unlikely to stop being a threat anytime soon. I skimmed the rundown for the vocal files. “Here we go. Mating call.” Keeping the sound low enough for just us to hear, I played the croaking warble.

“Okay?” the guy said, confused.

“Can you imitate that?” I asked. “Give it a shot. Kinda like a frog. Woarrrk.”

Looking skeptical, he did. The expression on his face said he wasn’t impressed with his own efforts, but it sounded accurate enough to me.

“Great!” I said. “Give that a bit of practice, then you can go out with your crew and impress everybody by luring in some targets for them.”

“I could,” he said thoughtfully. “I usually stay on the ship while they’re hunting, but it might be worth a try. Can I have a copy of that sound for practice?”

He got out his own phone and I played it again so he could record it. The Armorlites were dumping things onto the front counter, ready to pay and leave. I caught sight of bright packaging that I recognized, and I had another idea.

“Thanks,” the guy said. “This might actually help. What was your name?”

“Robin Bennett,” I said with a belated handshake.

“Oscar Tennyson,” he replied. “Thanks for your help. Looks like I should grab my stuff and get going.”

“Before you go. See those tall cans with the purple labels?” I pointed at something the Armorlites were buying.

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever tried that?”

“No! They get wasted on it; I’ve steered far clear.”

I grinned with all my teeth. “That’s not alcohol. That’s caffeine.”

“What?”

“Humans can process caffeine better than most species on our own planet, and just about everybody in space. It’s a poison to most. It gets them super drunk, but for you—” I pointed at him with glee. “For you, it’s just a bit of energy. Pick your moment, then walk in casually while they’re getting wasted, and slam one down. See what happens.”

He was smiling now. “You’re sure? It’s really just caffeine? How much?”

“I checked into it before. One of those huge cans is like a watered-down coffee. These guys are absolute lightweights, and they don’t even know.”

He grinned to split his face. “That is the best news.”

One of them called for him to hurry up, and he bid me a quick goodbye before scampering off. I saw him grab food cubes, water, and a six-pack of caffeine, which he bundled onto the counter as the Armorlites headed out the door.

“Be right there! Just getting some stuff!”

They didn’t look, simply telling him not to waste any time. He smiled his way through the purchase.

Peeking over the shelves, I smiled too. Then I went back to my own purchases, with thoughts of getting an energy drink or two in his honor.

~~~

These started as backstory tidbits for the main character from this book, and turned into a sprawling adventure series in their own right. The sequel book will feature a return of some familiar faces. And Patreon is coming soon — even the free tier will be a handy way to keep up with the ongoing shenanigans of this particular human in space.

[malfoyscoffee]

birthday cakes ౨ৎ draco malfoy

♡ draco malfoy x transfer!slytherin!reader ᝰ fluff, slight angst ☆ reader has neglectful parents, use of y/n

a.n.: this is my first fic for this account, so it's not my best work.

6:02 pm

“Finally, in a few hours, our lovely Y/N will be 16!” Pansy clapped her hands together in delight, excited for your birthday.

“Oh Pansy, it's not that serious.” You shrug while picking at your food.

You were a transfer student from Drumstrang, so this was indeed the first birthday you would spend at Hogwarts.

The moment you were placed into Slytherin, Draco approached you and befriended you into his group of friends. Ever since, you have grown closer with all of them.

Mattheo puts his fork down, “But Y/N, this is your first time celebrating your birthday with us!”

“He’s right,” Theodore started, “we should stay up till midnight since we don't have class tomorrow anyway.”

You looked up at your friends, knowing they wanted to cheer you up.

It was this morning when you received your monthly letter from your parents. They wrote that you should study harder to keep up your—currently perfect—grades, along with how they were going on another business trip to America.

They wrote about everything but your birthday.

This was nothing new, after all, they were always busy during your previous birthdays.

Blaise joined in, “If it makes you feel any better, we all had our gifts bought last month because someone,” he looked over at Pansy, “wanted to start gift shopping early.”

You turned to Pansy who simply grinned, “Oh, come on, you didn't have to spoil the surprise, Blaise!”

Pansy playfully slapped Blaise’s shoulder while you, Mattheo, and Theodore laughed.

The laughter died down and you spoke, “By the way, where's Draco?”

Draco Malfoy, your best friend. You would consider him the closest person to you in all of Hogwarts.

You haven't seen the blond a lot this week, mostly during classes. After classes ended, instead of him hanging out with you, he would leave the common room and not come back all night.

Two days ago, he returned late at night to the common room, passing by your group of friends while his dark robes were covered in some white powder. You asked what was wrong as he bee-lined towards the stairs, but he muttered something with a frustrated face; you haven't had a chance to talk to him since.

All the talk about your birthday made you start to feel excited, but you wanted Draco to be around too. But seeing how he has been the past week, you were starting to doubt he remembered your birthday.

You were too busy in thought to see the four of your friends sending eye signals to each other, each of them caught off-guard to give you an excuse.

Unlike Blaise exposing everyone’s early gift preparation, this was something that needed to be covered up.

Theodore cleared his throat first, “I think he's practicing more Quidditch. You know, since the season is starting soon.”

Mattheo added on, his food long forgotten, “You know how serious he is with beating every house, especially Gryffindor.”

“Oh,” you nodded your head “that reminds me, I'll see my first Hogwarts Quidditch match soon!” Your mood was suddenly lifted, thinking back to your old school’s Quidditch games. You always loved Quidditch and attended every game since you were a first-year at Drumstrang.

The moment you started to ramble to your friends about your favorite sport, you didn't hear the sighs of relief at your table.

11:50 pm

Pansy and Blaise were walking with you back to the common room. You just spent a few hours stargazing with them by the Black Lake.

Mattheo and Theodore said something about having to practice Quidditch with Draco too, which you didn't want to hold them back for. They made sure to tell you that they would meet the three of you back before midnight before they hurried off.

“We’re going to the Three Broomsticks tomorrow?”

“Of course, we’re going to have a birthday dinner. We always celebrate our birthdays there.”

You smiled, grateful to have wonderful friends. “It's not even my birthday yet, but thank you both for preparing so much. You guys know already, but I didn't celebrate my birthday during my childhood.”

Pansy and Blaise look at you with sadness, knowing about your life with your busy parents. It was a post-party hangout at Draco’s dorm when you opened up to all of them, partially because you were drunk, but also because you knew you could trust all five of them.

“Y/N, we’re your family too. We will always celebrate your day with you, so don't think too much about your parents.” You smiled at Blaise, grateful for his words.

The three of you finally reached the Slytherin common room. Although it was late, there were many students sprawled out of the room, hanging out with each other.

“Should we go check up on Draco?” Pansy asked, staring at her watch.

“Wouldn’t he be asleep?” You asked confused.

You assumed that since he was busy with Quidditch, he forgot about your birthday. The thought of him forgetting your birthday made you grow a bit sad, but you didn't want to make it a big deal.

Blaise started walking to the stairs, “He doesn't sleep early, come on.”

Pansy followed quickly behind Blaise, leaving you a little confused.

“Y/N!” Pansy yelled from the top of the stairs, “Let’s go!”

You grew confused but followed after your friends, walking up the stairs to Draco’s room.

“Pansy? Blaise? Where did you guys go?” You reached the top and did not see your friends.

You approached Draco’s dorm, knocking on the door.

“Draco? Are you in here?” You pushed the knob, stepping inside the dark room. You took two steps before there was a loud sound next to you, like something popping.

12:00am

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!”

The lights turned on and you looked around, Draco’s dorm decorated for your birthday. Green balloon letters were written ‘HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY’ and confetti was thrown all over the floor. There was also a stash of gifts in the corner of his room, definitely the one Pansy made them buy in advance.

You were immediately hugged by Pansy, “It’s midnight! The start of your big day!”

Blaise, Theodore, and Mattheo chuckled before all saying happy birthday to you.

You had never smiled so hard, feeling so grateful for all of your friends.

“What happened to Quidditch practice today?” You ask Theodore and Mattheo, assuming they must have decorated Draco’s room. However, it may have been the messy arrangement of the balloon letters that gave it away. 

Mattheo looked at you with wide eyes, “That was a lie. Sorry, we tried to have you distracted to prepare this.”

You let out a laugh, “It’s okay, wait a minute, then what about Draco’s practices?”

The group felt silent, not before looking behind you at the currently opened door “If your practices were a lie, then was Draco’s-”

“Happy Birthday, Y/N” A voice interrupted your own.

You turned your body to the door, and a smiling Draco entered the room. Looking at his hands, he held a green cake with a single lit candle on top. It spelled out ‘Happy Birthday Y/N’ in frosting.

“Draco? What is this?”

“Well, snake's out of the bag,” Draco said standing in front of you.

Pansy went to stand beside you first, “But before, let’s sing first!”

The others agreed and started to sing you a happy birthday, Mattheo’s off-pitch voice making you laugh the whole time. When they finished you smiled, closing your eyes to make to make a wish before blowing out the candle.

“Yay!” Mattheo screamed excitedly, jumping up and down.

“Let’s go down to the common room to eat!” Theodore suggested, leaving the room to race Mattheo.

The rest of you four laughed, following them quickly.

“So,” you started, “did Draco have practice this week?” You sat down on the couch as your friends surrounded you.

Draco grinned, “You’ve caught me. I made your cake myself.” Your eyes widened in surprise as he put the cake down for Pansy to cut it.

“You thought Pansy reminding us a month in advance to buy gifts was insane? Draco spent the entire week learning how to bake a cake for your birthday.”

Draco took a seat next to you on the couch, hiding behind you as Blaise and Mattheo teased him further.

“Is that true?” You asked Draco, who shrugged his shoulders as if it was nothing.

“Have the first slice, Y/N” Pansy passed you a slice on a plate that she somehow prepared while you were too shocked.

“Come on, tell us if it’s bad!” Mattheo said from the couch across from you, earning a smack in the head from Blaise.

You took a bite and it seemed like the cake was baked by a professional. You savored the taste and smiled, “It's delicious!”

That was all it took for Mattheo and Theodore to beg Pansy for slices, while Blaise was busy helping her cut the cake.

“Thank you, Draco, I didn't know.” He put his arm around your shoulder, leaning closer to you.

“I’m happy you love it, and that the cake didn't taste bad.” You laughed as you kept eating the cake.

“Y/N,” Blaise said, all your friends now settled down with cake slices except Draco, “You don’t understand. Not only did he learn how to bake that cake, he asked all of us to taste test it each time..”

A realization hit your eyes, “Is that why you were all sick a few days ago? It was his previous cakes?”

All your friends laughed as Draco hid his face in your neck embarrassed.

“At least it tastes wonderful now.” Mattheo munched on his cake slice with a smile, “Draco, you need to bake all of us birthday cakes now.”

Draco shook his head, before looking at you.

“Only for Y/N’s birthdays.”

[fuzzyfoe]

I saw a post talking about how OCD can affect your sense of gender and how gender identity and transness can become an obsession that OCD latches onto and now I really wanna talk about it because I think this is something that affects me significantly.

I've pretty much been in the "questioning" phase in regards to my gender for nearly ten fucking years because of gender OCD, maybe even longer.

This post is gonna be mostly me talking about my own experiences and my own journey with gender expression and it's gonna be kind of vent-y, but I don't mind if other people wanna add on their experiences with gender OCD as well or turn this post into a discussion. Feel free to offer advice too if you wanna.

I'm gonna put this under a read-more since it ended up being quite long.

So here's the post that I saw that sparked me to make this post.

I first started having feelings of "I wanna be a boy" when I was around 11-12 years old.

I've heard that it makes sense for people to start feeling dysphoria around this age because this is the age in which people begin to enter puberty, but I've also heard things about how kids who feel this way initially may grow out of these feelings as they get older. There's a possibility that the latter that I've kept hearing could just be shit that was made up or blown out of proportion due to all the Abigail Shrier irreversible damage shit/ROGD narrative, but regardless it would seem kind of obvious with the fact that I'm now talking about this at the age of 25 that I did not "grow out of it".

Well, I didn't grow out of having OCD, at least. I feel like it's not possible for me to remember exactly the kind of person I was at that age, and I can't really load a mental snapshot of what my thoughts and feelings were during that time into my brain now as if it's a computer. Even now when I have feelings and emotions that I've felt as recent as an hour ago I have trouble remembering what the emotion felt like and I wonder if any feeling I've ever had has ever been "real".

I just remember reading about the concept of being transgender from the internet during that time, but being afraid of talking about it with my parents because I didn't know if it would make them feel sad if I told them that I didn't want to be a girl. I also kinda had the feeling that I was bisexual at the time, but I felt like I had to condition myself into only liking girls because liking girls is a "boy thing" that would make me a "real" trans boy and only cis men could be gay and still be undeniably men. And during the year that my parents told me we would be going to Disney World that summer, I felt like I had to somehow transition before that trip so that I could get to experience this trip that I might never get another chance to experience as a boy.

Something that happened during this time that I know for sure actually happened that my parents can attest to were my attempts to pee while standing up. I was using the "two-finger method" that I had read about online that involved lifting and spreading your inner labia apart. Most of the piss would end up in the toilet which would give me a great feeling of pride and euphoria, but also a bunch of it would end up behind the toilet seat, which I either didn't notice or just ignored. My mom kept thinking it was my brother who was doing this until she eventually caught on and realized it was me, and while she wasn't really angry when she confronted me about it it still felt terrifying. She asked me "Are you trying to pee like a boy?" with an expression as if it was kind of amusing, but at the time I was thinking "oh fuck she knows, i'm gonna have to come out to her now i'm gonna have to tell her that i want to transition". I ended up making up some kind of bullshit excuse and then stopped doing it, but part of me wishes that I did just tell her so that I maybe could've transitioned early in life and have had some hope of passing instead of having to deal with whatever kind of bullshit my brain is making me deal with now.

I was diagnosed with OCD at the age of ten, in the same appointment that I was diagnosed with ASD (which was Asperger's Syndrome at the time). My diagnosis actually occurred before I started having "dysphoria" and an obsession with identity was not one of the initial obsessions I had that lead to me getting diagnosed. My symptoms at the time were more stereotypical symptoms having to do with the alignment of objects, closing and opening doors, washing my hands, and wasting tons of toilet paper trying to leave the roll having been broken off evenly. It got to the point where I was often late for school because of it and it would even cause me to injure myself or damage other people's belongings, which prompted my parents to seek a therapist for me which lead to my diagnosis.

After pretty much ignoring those feelings of "dysphoria" until then, I first started playing with the idea of using pronouns other than the standard she/her again when I was 17. I was drawing a reference for a new sparkledog fursona, as this was when I had finally begun to internalize the idea that it's okay to have "embarrassing" or "cringe" interests and that I should just do what makes me happy regardless of knowing that I'm gonna get bullied or harassed for it. I was gonna put the pronouns in the ref as it had become common to start putting a character's pronouns in their ref, when I had the idea of trying out she/they instead of she/her. In the first draft of the ref that I posted I did have she/they listed as my fursona's pronouns, but soon after I decided to revise it and make it just be she/her because I was afraid of the idea that "real trans people" would see that as me trying to group myself in with them while not having the same experiences as them and take offense to that. This was during a time when a lot of the transmed shit was in full swing on this website.

I didn't agree with transmedicalism when it was applied to anybody other than myself and I would reblog posts disagreeing with transmedicalism, but I was afraid that if I tried to experiment with something as small as another set of pronouns I would just be doing that to seem "cool" while "real trans people" used those pronouns because they had to because of their dysphoria and they get mocked for it. I was aware of the concept that pronouns did not equal gender and of he/him lesbians and that demigender identities existed, but at the time my hair was still being cut to shoulder length and I wasn't doing anything else to alter the way that I presented, so I thought I wasn't allowed to change my pronouns until I at least made some kind of effort to look like I might be transitioning. I thought that maybe all demiboys were transmasc and all demigirls were transfem, and maybe it was frowned upon for a demigirl to be transmasc. I didn't know for certain, but I wasn't about to go around asking demiboys and demigirls what their agab was because that would've been a shitty thing to do and everybody would've assumed I was doing it for a bigoted reason. I didn't want to cut my hair at the time out of fear that it would look bad and then I'd be bullied for it, but "real transmascs" cut their hair out of their intense dysphoria that overshadows their fear of getting bullied so I must be faking it and only going by different pronouns for attention. I remembered how "dysphoric" I felt when I was 12 years old, the story of how I would try to piss standing up and how that's not really a very cis thing to do, but that all must've not been real, right? If it was real there would've been no way I was able to ignore it for this long, right? .....Right?

Fast forward to 2020, I am now 20 years old and no longer in high school. It's my last chance to get a normal haircut before covid lockdowns begin, and I decide to bite the bullet and ask for the shortest haircut I had ever gotten until that point. Everything will be locked down, if it ends up looking bad it's not like anybody is gonna see me anyway.

The result ended up being distressing to me at first, due to a combination of the shape of my face still being noticeably round and the fact that what I had been given was a "pixie cut", which I would learn is not actually a word for a "men's haircut on a woman" but is something that in fact has quite a few differences from a standard men's cut in order to make it appear more feminine.

As it grew out a little though it began to grow on me more and more, and I have always gotten a cut of a similar length every time I've gotten a haircut since. I've also been able to slowly tailor the way my hair has been cut away from the "pixie" style and towards a more masculine style by repeatedly asking the hairstylist to "keep the sideburns" and by taking pictures of my head from every angle each time I had gotten a cut that was closer to what I wanted so that I could show them to the next hairstylist.

While I still kind of wish that my face was less round, I like my hair now. I am never going back to having my hair the way it was before I turned 20.

Whenever I feel like my hair is getting too long now, even if it's not remotely close to the length that I originally grew it out and even if I had just taken a shower, it starts feeling all gross and like it's unsanitary and I want it cut immediately. Despite this though, I don't really look forward to the next time my hair is going to be cut because if it's an unfamiliar hairdresser they might see that I have boobs and decide to give me a pixie cut or cut off my sideburns or even just refuse to cut the length that I want cut off. I wish I felt like I had a better method of getting what I want across to them that didn't involve looking like an asshole customer, outing myself, or just flat out saying "I want you to make me look like a dyke". I also hate the fact that at the place where I normally get my hair cut, a men's cut is only $10 and a women's cut is a few dollars extra, and even though I'm basically asking for a men's cut guess what they charge me for it. I've thought before about no longer going out to any place to get a haircut anymore and instead just giving myself a buzzcut at home from now on, but I do like the layered look on the back of my head that a hairdresser is able to give me, which is something I can't really do at home. I wish there was some big butch lesbian covered in piercings and tattoos who I could go to who could cut my hair and just innately understand.

Something that's kind of funny now is that occasionally, when I have nightmares, in addition to the disturbing events that typically occur within nightmares I also sometimes have shoulder-length hair again within the nightmare. That's like a thing now that wasn't before.

In June of that year, I decided to come out as nonbinary and started going exclusively by they/them pronouns.

Months later I started having some more self-doubts/spiraling over whether my feelings and my dysphoria was truly "real", and it lead to me making this comic.

Afterwards, I went from using the "nonbinary" label to using the "genderfluid" label.

A couple years later, while I was spiraling pretty hard about how "genderfluid" sounds fake and how it sounds like someone tried to come up with an even more "special" version of being nonbinary and how I'm a total trender/theyfab, I decided to just drop all gender labels entirely. If going by any label was only going to cause spiraling and anxiety, I could simply forego labels all together and maybe then finally my brain would be quiet and I could have some fun, get some sleep, and get some work done. I just had "any pronouns" written on all of my online profiles during this time, and I didn't describe myself as genderfluid or nonbinary, but I didn't describe myself as cis either.

Basically I took the approach that was described in the bottom half of these tags, which I coincidentally found on the post that I saw that sparked me to make this post:

Just recently, right before I saw the post that sparked me to make this post, I decided to go back to exclusively going by they/them online.

I've started thinking more about whether or not I want to be a man, and months ago I had finally settled on the name that I would have if I ever decided to transition; Melvin. It sounds normal enough while not being too common at the same time, it would allow me to keep the same initials, and I would be naming myself after a relative. It's perfect.

I even made a new version of my fursona for if I were to take that name, just in case. And if the feeling went away again, I would always have him so I could draw and use him again if the feeling were to return again.

I had been seeing a lot of "if you've thought about taking HRT, just do it" posts, and with them I've been thinking about that time I decided to finally cut my hair. I live in New York, so I could just go to the nearest health center run by Planned Parenthood, sign an informed consent form, and just have T. I could just try T and see how it makes me feel. Then I could finally have the answer to if this is The Vitamin that I've needed for my entire adult and adolescent life.

But what if I try taking T and it doesn't cause me to feel any different? Or what if taking T causes some pandora's box of compartmentalized dysphoria to open somewhere in my brain, making me agonize over the fact that I waited too long to ever be able to pass and bringing me to kill myself?

That's until I saw that post.

I feel a sense of relief in that I am likely nowhere near being alone in my feelings and my experiences, I finally feel like I have the language to make people understand, and that I could use that language to craft a brand new label for myself that finally makes me feel like I'm real. But at the same time, I feel a sense of distress in that I don't know where exactly this places me within the queer community or whether I have any authority to speak on trans issues. Can I call myself transmasculine? Am I affected by transphobia? Am I affected by exorsexism? Does this mean medical transition is off the table for me entirely? Does this mean I should be treated as cis?

Every new political action that strips away protections for transgender people that makes the news is a trigger for this. Every post I see regarding intracommunity trans issues and the discourse surrounding it is a trigger for this.

I know that OCD is able to create this kind of obsession and uncertainty about sexuality as well, but that doesn't sound as truly being cursed to me as to have it affect one's sense of gender. If you think you might be gay but are unsure, you could always just try having gay sex and then not do it again if you didn't enjoy it. With gender, you can only do this with social transition as medical transition is irreversible, and social transition can only get you so far. There is no way to try on a different body like it's a pair of shoes. You must either take the plunge or die wondering.

Transmasculinity when you have OCD is like a Saw trap. "This could be ROGD." "This could just be internalized misogyny." "How can you tell if it's really dysphoria?" "You just want to feel special." "You are only transitioning to gain privilege." "There's at least a chance people might take your experiences with misogyny seriously if you don't transition." "You will never pass." "You will be ugly." "You're making a mockery of people who have real problems." "People like you are the ones who are most likely to regret it." "You would be mutilating yourself." "But what if one day you could look in a mirror and finally feel normal?" "Do you want to risk feeling this way for the rest of your life?"

While these questions very well may continue to haunt me for the rest of my life, some of the seemingly smaller decisions I've made while on my never-ending gender journey have genuinely improved my quality of life significantly, and will be things I will continue to do no matter if I'm trans or cis.

Buying all my clothes from the men's section is a big one; None of my shirts feel restrictively tight in the sleeves anymore, and the loose-fittedness makes them a lot more manageable sensory-wise. I no longer have to worry about whether the pants I'm looking at have pockets, and now I can count on being able to fit both my phone and my wallet in the same pocket.

Not only do I like the way I look with my shorter hair, but it makes maintaining personal hygiene so much faster and easier and now it no longer tangles or gets knotted. I take pride in my body hair and I don't waste time anymore trying to remove it in order to appease someone who would never respect me anyway who would shame me for it or tell me it's "unsanitary". My swim trunks I wear when I go swimming now look cool as hell and go well with my body hair and doesn't force me to put any focus on how it might look with my pubes sticking out like with other swimwear. The men's deodorant that I'm using now feels like it's stronger and works better than the women's deodorant that I used to use.

It doesn't bother me when my friends and immediate family members refer to me using they/them pronouns, in fact I think I still like it and will continue to let them use them. I have multiple fursonas now that I use in different contexts and connect to in different ways, and this has been great for me not only because I'm no longer forcing myself to have a more rigid sense of self but also because they can be used as an excellent mechanism to visualize my thoughts and feelings and the cognitive dissonance I may be having by depicting them interacting. I can even give them all different genders and use whatever one I feel more connected to in the moment, and I never have to think about it being something that's set in stone because I have all these other sonas.

Another issue I had that possibly could've been related to the "dysphoria" that I was experiencing other than my OCD (or possible actual gender dysphoria) is the fact that I may have some kind of medical condition or abnormality involving my reproductive organs, and it wasn't until I was 21 that I started finally being treated for it. It's most likely endometriosis since that seems the most consistent with the symptoms I was having and it's the most common one with 1 in 10 women being estimated to have it, but I don't have an official diagnosis since it requires surgery in order to diagnose and there are other differential diagnoses it could possibly be. I am now prescribed three packs of hormonal birth control in a row before taking any placebos, and this causes me to menstruate only four times a year and now I no longer experience anemia or paleness in my skin or debilitating pains that leave me unable to move when I menstruate. While I still wish I didn't menstruate at all, this has done wonders for my quality of life, needless to say. This doesn't necessarily fit into the category of decisions I've made regarding my gender presentation, but it is something that has improved my life for the better and it is somewhat relevant.

I'm aware that by making this post I'm sort of inviting transmeds, radfems, and other bad actors to say shitty things about me and try and take advantage of my psychological issues, but I've already mentally prepared myself for that while writing this post. I feel like I've developed a much healthier mindset than I used to have just a couple years ago, and that manipulation tactics that would've worked on me much more easily before aren't gonna work on me now. I don't care what anyone says about me. I just care that I've finally managed to put all of my feelings about all of this into words, that I don't have to keep all of this bottled inside me anymore, and that this may help anyone with any experiences or psychological issues remotely similar to mine feel seen.

[skipper1331]

Who will win? // Merle Frohms

a/n: based off this request!

"Hi" the voice of your girlfriend came whispered through the phone.

"Hey" you mumbled in responds, eyes already heavy after the exhausting day you’ve had. For awhile, no words were exchanged, only soft breathing could be heard. Merle was the one who broke the silence, her voice shaky, "will we be okay?" she asked, fearing your answer.

Tomorrow, Arsenal would face Wolfsburg in a sold out Emirates Stadium - a match that would decide which team would make it to the Champions League final as it was 2-2 on aggregate.

In an instant, you replied, "yes, of course."

Your mind had also been consumed by that thought. Would Merle be mad at you if you won? No matter who wins, what consequences will be there? What if you loose?

"Promise me?"

"I promise"

"Okay" she sighed in relief, "I love you" your cheeks turned hot, her words so full of honesty as the butterflies in your stomach went crazy.

"I love you too" you replied sheepishly, suddenly wide awake.

The keeper and you had met through mutual friends on a holiday trip, your chemistry magical since the very first moment. Yet at first, Merle was shy and reserved towards you, you were the only one she didn‘t know - well, she did know you as you were one of Arsenals greatest defenders but she didn’t know know you yet but that side was gone not even two hours later, the two of you engaged in conversation after conversation. It seemed like your friends weren‘t existing anymore as Merle only had eyes for you and vice versa.

After your trip, Merle couldn’t stop thinking about you, so she texted you, wanting to know if you arrived in London safely. It was just an excuse, although she actually wanted to know if you made it some safely, only she was hoping for another conversation with you in return - maybe one that didn‘t stop. Her prayers had been heard - you started texting nonstop. Soon texts started to turn into calls and your 'friendship' blossomed.

In the winter holidays, you visited Merle, the moment your friendship turned into more as she had kissed you under the mistletoe.

Now, two years later, your relationship was going strong.

-

The two of you continued the phone call for a bit before yet another yawn let your mouth, "my love, it‘s getting late. I‘ll see you tomorrow" the german whispered.

You hummed, eyes already shut as you heard the final "I love you" of the night. With that you drifted off to sleep, thinking about the blonde.

The next day rolled by earlier than you wanted to. You were excited, the emirates was sold out, playing an important match on home soil - you couldn’t be more excited yet you were so scared. What would happen? Your mind was not only occupied with the question what happens between Merle and you but will someone get injured? You feared that every time you stepped on the pitch.

You didn‘t see your girlfriend until the lineups in the tunnel, the girl looking good in her kit.

You shot her a quick smile which she returned with a nod - when Merle was in her game mode, in the zone, nobody could distract her. This match was just as important to her as it was to you. Nobody was allowed to make a mistake otherwise you might loose.

-

Stina opened the score in the 11‘, Jill equalizing in the 41‘ - your former teammate. You knew it was her job to score when she had the opportunity but you weren’t going to lie, it hurt when she did. But also, you were incredibly proud of her - she was your friend after all.

Despite Arsenal and Wolfsburgs chances and effort, the half time score stayed 1-1.

Though that changed when VfL had a corner kick - the one and only Alexandra Popp scoring a header, as usually.

2-1.

You felt frustrated, blaming yourself - should you have been at her side? When you felt a double clap on your back, you were called back to reality. No one was to blame. Popp was an incredible player.

You prayed for an equalizer.

And as if your prayers have been heard, Jen scored with a beauty of a header.

The game continued, Wolfsburgs had their chances as Arsenal had them too. But nothing seemed to work.

After 90+ minutes, the ref blew the whistle.

The score 2-2.

which only meant one thing.

Extra time.

Your nerves were on a high race. What will happen in that extra time? What will not happen? Will there be penalties?

You were, after Kim, the person who took the penalty. Your penalties were always perfectly shot, they always slotted in the goal - the goalie nowhere near. Yet if you had to take a penalty in this game, it would be different.

Merle was in the goal.

Your girlfriend.

The one person who knew you better than anyone.

Huddling together, Jonas gave some strict orders - how to play, how to create space and chances. This wasn’t any club, this was Wolfsburg and they were one of the best german teams - if not the best. You had to be focussed and give 101%.

No mistakes were allowed.

-

You did the biggest mistake.

The teams dream of making it to the final, possibly winning it, was thrown in the bin when Manu passed the ball to you. You don’t know what happened, one second you had the ball and in the next second Jule Brand had it. Despite your effort to get it back, you knew it was too late as she assisted it to Pauline Bremer who slotted it in. Your world seemed to stop spinning.

3-2 in the 119‘

You embarrassed yourself in front of a recorded crowd and because of you the team was about to loose.

-

Nothing mattered anymore.

Arsenal lost.

They lost because you made a mistake - a mistake that decided the game.

Wolfsburg would go to the final in Eindhoven, Arsenal would stay at home. Tears slipped out of your eyes as you covered it up with your jersey while you stood in the middle of the pitch, devastated about the massive loss. Everything fell to deaf ears as you were stuck in your anger and disappointment. You ignored everybody who had approached you until you heard a familiar voice, the voice you loved so deeply.

"Hey" she said.

You didn’t reply.

"You played great" she kept her distance, not knowing if you wanted her to hug you or to leave you alone. She respected either way.

"You‘re glad I fucked up, hm? Secretly, laughing at me"

It took Merle off guard, "what? What are you talking about?" her eyes were wide, brows furrowed.

Indeed, she was happy that her team won but she felt devastated for you, not only because of the loss in general but that you caused it. It will haunt you for a while.

"Oh, don’t act all innocent now! You cannot tell me you didn’t like it, can you? My mistake, Pauline scoring the winning goal… Merle Maschine Frohms, you‘re going to the final. Congratulations" you told her bittersweetly, patting her shoulder before walking away.

The goalkeeper could only watch. Normally, 'Merle Maschine Frohms' was a running gag between the two of you but now it seemed like it was an insult.

"Didn’t go well, I assume?"

-

After the team talk, you fled the scene. You didn’t want to be here anymore. Your expression was stone cold as your jaw was clenched. You went for a quick shower, you couldn’t be bothered to take your time, all you wanted was to go home and watch your comfort movie while eating chocolate or ice cream.

Leaving the stadium felt like a relief, anger and frustration slowly leaving your body as guilt, blame and disappointment made its way up.

You knew what you said to Merle was wrong and that she most likely felt bad for you as you had talked many many times about situations like these - not knowing they would ever happen again.

After the euros final, the topics about winning and losing have been brought up and talked through, even though nervousness and anxiety filled both of your bodies nights before those matches.

You didn’t mean to snap at her, your anger just had controlled your body and not your mind.

And right now, you couldn’t see that. All you could see and feel was disappointment.

You disappointed yourself.

You disappointed your team.

You disappointed every fan in the stadium.

You disappointed everybody.

-

You fell asleep on the couch, eyes puffy, ice cream melted in the bowl as weird tv shows played. Messages from your family and teammates on your phone - no message from Merle. You felt even more disappointed yet understood due to the circumstances.

She didn’t text you nor did you text her. You didn’t know if you should or even wanted to or if she wanted you to.

The days after the match went by awfully slow and very robotic. For your teammates, it seemed like you didn’t realize the loss yet somehow like you realized the loss too much.

But after a week, when the feeling of missing started to hit, disappointment and guilt fading away step by step, you decided to call Merle. You wanted to make things right. It was Merle after all, the girl: who loved you unconditionally, who kissed your wounds, who believed in you when you couldn’t believe in yourself.

You waited and waited and waited for her to answer until it eventually rang out, she didn’t want to talk to you. Sighing in defeat, you flopped on the couch.

Merle🪄

please call me back

She never responded.

It wasn‘t that she didn’t read it - she did, right after it was sent - yet couldn’t be bothered to answer.

Was this the end?

You checked her instagram - were the pictures with you still up?

They were.

Every time your screen lit up you hoped it would be Merle and each time you got disappointed when you saw that it wasn’t her. What was happening? Why did you have to snap at her?

-

It was two days later when Merle finally decided to call you back. It was in the middle of the night, you were at the verge of falling asleep.

Groggily, you picked up the phone, not even looking at the caller id.

"Hello?"

"Hey"

"Merle" your breath hitched, suddenly wide awake. Nothing mattered anymore, it didn’t matter that it was in the middle of the night or that you had training early in the morning. All you cared about was saving your relationship.

Silence held the line until a small whisper came, "you‘ve hurt me-"

"I know"

"Well, you didn’t insult me but I don’t know, snapping at me? I just wanted to comfort you. You promised me-"

"I promised you we would be okay"

"And we are not"

"I want us to be"

The silence that followed was deafening, you felt like this was the moment.

She will break up with me

"Merle?"

silence.

"I‘m sorry, I really am. I didn’t mean to snap at you, everything just came crashing down on me and I know this is no excuse. I was just- I don’t- I’m sorry"

silence.

"I love you"

You had already lost hope before "I love you too" came. "I don’t know why I got so upset at you, I had no right to, you had lost and I understood your emotions, but all I wanted was to comfort you. I‘m sorry that I didn’t give you some space or respected your boundaries. I want us to be okay, too, I really do."

"You do?" you asked surprised.

"Of course, I’m so in love with you, you can’t even imagine"

The biggest smile started to make its way on your face, cheeks flushing red, skin tingle.

"I‘ve missed you"

"I missed you so much"

All the built up feelings from the last week, washed away. There was no guilt or anger due to your mistake in the match, there was no sadness and sulking anymore - all there was, was love and happiness.

The two of you started one of your endless conversations, updating what had happened the last days or upcoming events - Merle purposely avoiding the uwcl final. She wanted you there more than anything but now wasn‘t the right time to bring it up.

The next weeks went by fast, you were back to your usual persona, socializing and cracking jokes as you slowly but surely learned to accept that mistakes happen.

Only one and a half weeks left before the final, the goalkeeper decided to bring it up because she really wanted to see you in the stands as her supporter.

Not thinking about her words, she blurted it out while you were in the middle of your sentence, "i want you to be at the final" she said, the kitchen in her flat suddenly super interesting. What felt like an eternity for her was in fact only a few seconds, your answer so supportive and loving, "yes, of course. Leah, Lia and I already have tickets and our flights are booked"

Your girlfriend stayed silent for a moment, "I was afraid you didn’t want to come" she admitted, cheeks turning red out of embarrassment.

"What? Why? I always want to see you play!" you beamed, "you’re in the champions league final, baby!" You pushed the little sting in your heart away, fully focused on Merle. If you couldn’t win the trophy, none other than your girlfriend should win it. You were her number one fan. So, as soon as things were made up with her - you weren’t sure if she wanted you there when things were complicated between the two of you - you texted in the group chat with Leah and Lia that you‘d join them.

"I thought maybe- I don’t know"

"No, baby. I always want to watch you play, always. And I’m so proud of you, you will win that trophy" you exclaimed, your index finger subconsciously drawing hearts on the couch.

"I love you"

The goalkeeper felt so relieved. With you being in the stands there couldn’t go anything wrong. She would not only try to win that trophy but to impress you.

-

"Stop being so jittery" the England captain stated as she rested her hand firmly on your knee to stop it from wobbling.

Already on the way to the stadium you couldn’t shut up about seeing Merle and her team, the atmosphere, FC Barcelona and so on. Somehow you were starstruck and so excited.

"Look! There’s Merle!" you cut the LW‘s off in their conversation, tapping Lia‘s thigh rapidly.

"Yes, we can see her" she chuckled, your eyes shining with hearts. "Isn’t she so pretty" you admired. She looked so stunning in her kit. "You‘re drooling" Leah chipped in, laughing at you when your hand flew to your mouth, checking if there was drool - there wasn‘t.

-

"LET‘S GO!!!" you yelled when Ewa Pajor scored the opening goal in the 3rd minute. Green shirts everywhere in the stadium, cheering for their team as they went in the lead. Lia and Leah watched you with an amused look while they held their facial expressions neutral about the game.

"YES!!!" you cheered even louder when the second goal came flying in from Alex Popp - that women an absolute legend with her incredible headers.

The first half Wolfsburg played phenomenally as they created chances, defended and got two goals.

Yet when the second half started everything went downhill. About 5 minutes into the game Patri equalized. The stadium started to roar, the Wolfsburg players looking helpless.

Though, you had to admit that it was brilliantly played from Barcelona, even though you felt bad for Merle as she conceded two goals within two minutes.

Every minute that went by from then on, the game got more intense and physically. Fouls and cards were called out, every player on the pitch wanting to win.

When Rolfö scored in the 70th, you slumped back in your chair, grumbling about the game. How was Merle supposed to save that? She stood no chance!

You had a feeling that it was the last goal you would see off the game. And it was confirmed around 30+ mins later when the referee blew her whistle.

Devastated, you watched as the players in green collapsed on the floor, all of them crying or at least with tears in their eyes yet your eyes glued on the goalkeeper in blue. She must feel horrible - a feeling you knew better than anyone.

In all honesty, Merle wasn‘t to blame for the loss and neither were her teammates - their performance was great, just not enough in the end.

Like in trance, the german international made her way over to you - she needed your comfort. She needed your hugs, your touch and your love. She just needed you.

"Hey" she mumbled as she stood in front of you, her teammates also near her as you sat in the family and friends section.

"Come here" you opened your arms, the girl hugging you as if her life deepened on it, sobbing in the crook of your neck. You hand cradled her head while the other one rubbed her back in a calming and gentle manner. "I‘m proud of you" you whispered, sweetly kissing her temple before you let cry as long as she needed in your shoulder.

After sweet nothings and a long hug, she stepped back, looking at you with doe eyes, "i‘m sorry I couldn’t win."

Your hands cupped her cheeks as your thumbs wiped away the tears, "I love you" you couldn’t say anything else, it would have been wrong to say 'you played great' even though she was blaming herself for the loss right now. Instead you stood on your tip toes, pressing your lips against her left cheek, then right cheek before finally her mouth which resulted in a little smile. It was a kiss so gentle and tender, healing and caring, loving and promising. But most importantly - it was your kiss.

So, in the end, sadly, neither of you won the trophy but the comfort you had in each other seemed like a win in a loss.

[rjzimmerman]

(This map is referenced and described in the story, in the 8th paragraph once you enter the actual story beyond my intro. "BLM" means Bureau of Land Management, a division of the Department of the Interior. "USFS" means the United States Forest Service, a division of the Department of Agriculture.)

I posted a link to another story about this published a different media source. Because the issue is so important to me, I'm posting the Rolling Stone story about the republican hopes or plans to decimate a whole bunch of our public lands. Here's the story, in full:

Every Summer, my wife and I pack up our three kids and the family dog and drive an hour-and-a-half from our home in Portland, Oregon, to the forested shores of Timothy Lake for a camping trip. The lake is technically a reservoir — with a small dam at the western edge. But it is a gem, bordered by U.S. Forest Service land on three sides.

The federal land surrounding this awe-inspiring place would be put on the auction block for developers under the Senate’s version of President Donald Trump’s tax-cut-and-spending legislation known as the “Big Beautiful Bill.” A provision unveiled this week would open nearly 250 million acres of public lands in the West, for sale to the highest bidder. The legislation would require that at least 3 million acres — an area about half the size of Vermont — be privatized in the next five years. 

The ugly provision was introduced by the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee, chaired by Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah), who recently made himself notorious for shitposting about a political assasination in Minnesota. Lee’s committee touts this “mandatory disposal” of federal lands as a way to “fulfill President Trump’s agenda” by “unlocking federal land” to “increase the supply of housing,” while generating at least $5 billion. Speaking to fellow conspiratorial loon Glenn Beck, Lee defended the initiative as a “common-sense solution to a national problem.” Lee’s provision has the support of The Wall Street Journal Editorial Board which alleges that “Uncle Sam” is “typically a poor steward of the land.”

This Senate provision creates a direct conflict with the House version of the Big Beautiful Bill. Rep. Ryan Zinke (R-Mont.) successfully fought to strip a similar provision from the House bill. The former Interior Secretary described privatization of public lands as his “red line,” noting: “Once the land is sold, we will never get it back. God isn’t creating more land.”

The Senate provision applies to 11 western states, but notably exempts Montana. If this was meant to appease Zinke, he is not impressed. The congressman posted on X on June 18: “I have said from day one I would not support a bill that sells public lands. I am still a no on the Senate reconciliation bill that sells public lands.” Environmental groups are sounding the alarm, with 113 organizations — including the Sierra Club and Scenic Utah — writing an open letter to Senate leadership warning that the lack of meaningful restrictions in the provision would open sold-off public lands for development as “golf courses, luxury resorts, strip malls, [or] private vacation homes.” 

The Wilderness Society decries the Senate provision, insisting it would spark “the largest single sale of national public lands in modern history” and sacrifice “ordinary Americans’ access to outdoor recreation for a short-term payoff.” It has produced a map of federal lands that would be available to private developers under this land grab. The group writes that the provision “masquerades as a way to provide more housing, but it lacks safeguards to ensure land is used for that purpose.” It nominally requires consultation with the states and calls for an exclusion of lands with “valid existing rights” — a provision that appears to apply to extractive industries like mining and drilling. (According to the map, my family’s go-to campground at Timothy Lake could be sold off for lakefront villas.) 

Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) has called the proposal “insane” and a “non-starter,” adding: “Hell no.” Democrats are calling on citizens to fight for their treasured public spaces. Sen. Martin Heinrich (D-N.M.) is the ranking Democrat on the Senate committee that Lee chairs. “Our public lands hold our shared identity: They are where we gather, fish, hunt, and hike,” he writes. “We can’t let Republicans take them from us.”

He adds a battle cry to voters: “Now is the time to raise your voices and join our fight to keep public lands in public hands — before we lose these lands forever.”

Selling off common lands is wildly unpopular. In a recent poll, 71 percent of American adults oppose selling public lands to the highest bidder. Only 16 percent of Trump voters support such a move. 

According to an inventory of public lands compiled by the Wilderness Society, the states most at risk are Alaska, where nearly 80 million acres would be up for grabs, followed by Nevada with 34 million acres, and Idaho and Oregon with 21 million acres apiece. In Lee’s home state of Utah, nearly 19 million acres would be on the block for land speculators.

[ultimate-chickennougat]

| Your Salaryman Husband | (Vol 5)

Vol 1 Vol 2 Vol 3 Vol 4 (Not Required) Vol 6 Vol 7 Vol 8 Vol 9

Salaryman!Kento x Housewife!Reader

Visiting Nanami at work...

Word Count: 1.5k

CW: SFW, domestic fluff, fem!Reader, slightly slightly suggestive, office things

A/n: The pacing is a bit off in this, I'll do Gojo in the next volume (which will hopefully be better).

Within your last three months of marriage, it had become even more clear to you just how organized your husband Nanami was. 

The talented Jujutsu Sorcerer, and current salaryman, was always on time to wake up, go to work, and come home, never varying more than a couple of minutes. It was easy to plan things that way, knowing exactly when to greet him and have dinner ready. 

He kept to the usual schedule, drinking his morning coffee on the living room table while looking over some documents on his computer. It was a simple part of his routine, and while rather mundane, it somehow produced some much needed peace before heading to work. 

He had gotten used to the banging of pots and pans, and the subtle hums that came out of your mouth as you cooked, having finished making breakfast and packing his lunch box for the day. You carefully balanced his plate and the basket of bread in your arms, safely setting them on the table next to his coffee cup, and made the second trip to grab your own, while he packed up his things. 

Sitting down, you couldn’t help but smile watching Nanami eat the food you made. He had a long day of work to go, various meetings to attend and many papers to read. To give him the gift of a good breakfast every morning was one of the greatest joys you had, knowing that he would need it in the hours to come, along with his lunch of course. 

There wasn’t much left for Nanami to do that morning. His clothes had been picked out by you and placed neatly in a pile, his breakfast was made, also by you, and his briefcase and shoes were set by the door for when he left. Despite your husband’s usual organized manner, he seemed to have forgotten one important thing as he stepped out the door, another boring work day ahead of him. 

You had already moved on to get the morning chores done, scrubbing down the bathroom tiles and sink, and throwing the dirty clothes into the laundry. You watched out the window while wiping the dishes with soapy water, taking a deep sigh of relief knowing you were almost done. The sky was blue and the sun was shining brightly throughout the house, and while the weather was lovely, rain hadn’t fallen on your plants in quite a while. So you took a watering can and went outside, tending to the fruits and vegetables and harvesting the ripe ones. 

Time really does fly when you’re having fun, which you were, seeing the variety of colors fill the basket, a testament of your hard work and care. When you got back into the house, fully prepared to relax on the couch and read, you noticed something peculiar on the kitchen counter.

A lunch box. It was none other than your husband, Kento Nanami’s, lunch box.

The clock read 11:12, meaning less than an hour until his lunch break. Of course this was not a regular occurrence, so the thoughts that went through your head were a bit past rational. “What if he doesn’t have money with him… or doesn’t have time to go to a store?” you mumbled to yourself, pacing around the kitchen. 

There was only one thing to do, in your mind. You could just bring the lunchbox to Nanami, right? So you quickly grabbed a bag and placed the box into it, as well as your wallet, and got out the door. It was about a 20 minute walk to the station at your speed, and a 15 minute ride to get to his building. 

Stepping out of the station, you gazed widely at the imposing building that Nanami worked in. Though you had seen it before, then it wasn’t surrounded by large crowds of people walking around the city.

You dashed inside the building, the lobby filled with salarymen grabbing coffee from the shop on the first floor. To that you had to facepalm, seeing the menu had sandwiches and other savory items. Of course he would have the opportunity to get lunch, all the other workers did it.

Turning back was an option, in your dress and flats you looked quite out of place, but it was 11:55, and Nanami would be on break in 5 minutes. It would be a waste of money to buy a sandwich, when you had an even better lunchbox waiting for him. 

When the clock struck 12:00, you started to find your way throughout the massive building, to the secretary’s desk. Nanami and the rest of his department would be on break, so you could visit him in his office. 

The secretary buzzed you up to his floor, and you wandered around past the mass of people heading to the elevator. Peaking around each doorway you looked for Nanami’s blonde hair and dark gray suit, having not seem him leave. The striking figure of your husband was hard to miss. 

Nanami sat hunched over in his chair, rummaging through his things in search of something. He was the only one who hadn’t left the room yet, letting out a grunt when his hands came up empty. You silently walked over to him, happy that you were able to find him so quickly. 

“Kento, darling,” you stated meekly, smiling to greet Nanami. He looked over his shoulder in surprise, you had never been to his office before. “Y/n, what are you doing here?”  He inquired, eyeing you. It couldn’t have been easy, figuring out where everything was and making the journey here. 

He smoothed his hand over his neck, leaning to the side. “I appear to have forgotten my lunch, could that be it?” he asked, not waiting for your response. You nodded, reaching into your bag to hand him the box. “Right on time, thank you, my love,” he reciprocated your smile, the shyness knocked off your face. “While you’re always welcome to come visit me, you really don’t have to come all this way for something like this…” he started clearing the papers off his desk. “I didn’t realize you had a cafe downstairs,” you laughed, “and that the streets here are so busy during the day.” 

“Their sandwiches are fine, but I’d still rather have this - it certainly has more nutritional value,” Nanami relaxed, setting his lunchbox on the desk. “I don’t know what slipped my mind, I’m sorry you had to come deliver this, Y/n,” he stood up, adjusting his tie with his hand. 

“I should probably be getting back now, Kento,” you frowned, not having much of any reason to stay. Your own lunch was at home, and the train would only get busier. Nanami gently gripped your shoulder, leading you to sit down in the chair in front of his desk.

“It tends to settle down a little while people are eating, why don’t you stay a bit longer? Only a few minutes - I enjoy your company, afterall,” he smirked as you took in the office around you. “The view is beautiful,” you looked out the window, your hand mindlessly fiddling with your other one as you avoided his gaze, towering over you until he sat down. It was the same sky and weather that was at home, but you were with him, and that made it so much better.  

“Though it makes getting around a bit longer, this office has the best view, and is quite secluded,” he picked up his fork and took a bite of food. “For the many meetings with clients I have, it works out well as a background, and for soundproofing,” you nodded, listening intently. “My other coworkers are on this floor, and the one below it,” he mentioned, eating more. You continued your conversation a short while longer. 

“It’s already 12:20, I’ll let you leave now,” he stared at his watch, slightly annoyed that the second hand kept ticking. You stood up, feeling the lack of weight on your shoulder as your bag was nearly empty. A reminder of your purpose for being in the office in the first place.

“Do other wives visit often?” you asked, curious, as Nanami joined you. “A few, but mostly at the end of the day,” he took your hand, as the two of you walked out into the rest of the floor. “Most of my coworkers are single,” he sighed, as you looked a bit surprised. 

“Maybe I should start forgetting my lunch more often,” Nanami met your flustered gaze, you didn’t want to say goodbye and wait for hours for him to come home. “You could see more of the work we do here,” he smiled, pulling you into a hug, “and all those dull trainees could see what a beautiful wife I have,” you blushed red. 

“Goodbye, Kento, I love you,” you started walking out the building, cheeks flushed and a smile not leaving your face. “Stay safe, Y/n, I love you too,” he replied, watching you leave. “Only a few more hours…” he mumbled in his head, “a few more hours…”

[thirstkanaphan]

have you ever shared your ateez/atiny origin story? i love hearing how people got into the group :)

I found Ateez around this time last year! I had somewhat gotten into kpop through SHINee, having stumbled upon a video essay about them that got me intrigued enough to listen to their music and watch a lot of their older content. Ateez had already been on the periphery of my awareness because it was a popular fandom on AO3, so I was always noticing it when I searched for fic.

I encountered them properly for the first time when I was house-sitting for my parents last June. My youtube algorithm brought this video to my attention:

I watched it, watched another, then another, and before I knew it I had spent nearly the entire weekend binging Ateez content. I hadn't even listened to their music yet, but I was so charmed by their personalities and dynamics! The music, as it turned out, was fantastic.

As someone who's primarily drawn to fandoms via shipping, I quickly identified the main pairings in Ateez and basically did a test drive of some fic (canon-compliant) and was like, oh this is good!

In a happy coincidence, Ateez was going to perform at CitiField that August. I really surprised myself by impulsively buying a ticket ($99 for nose-bleeds) since I was planning to visit my grandma in the city around that time anyway.

By the time August rolled around, I had gone from a casual fan to way more invested. I remember texting my friend about it and her joking that she could see my fixation taking hold in real time. I watched their older content, listened to podcasts, went through their discography, read more fic, and joined twitter so I could keep up with the fandom.

By the time the concert arrived, I was at like 90% conversion to becoming a fully-fledged atiny. I just needed one final push! I took an uber share to the stadium and met a girl in the car who was also headed to the concert. My first atiny friend! During our trip from Manhattan to Queens we really hit it off - she was so cool and fun and had been in the fandom for a few years already and knew all the backstories (she considers herself a multifan, but I told her I only had the mental and emotional capacity to stan one group). As it happened, she had bought two tickets for the concert thinking that one of her friends might be interested, which didn't happen. She offered me her spare ticket so we could sit together, which means I moved from a 300-level seat to a 100-level seat!

Some people may remember that the CitiField concert last August almost didn't happen. Terrible thunderstorms delayed the concert for over two hours! We were not allowed to leave the concourse, which was packed full of 30k people huddling together trying to make the best of an increasingly dire situation. I don't know what I would've done if I had gone there alone. Thankfully, I had my new friend! We found out we had even more in common, such as a love for BL, and we ended up spending those 2.5 miserable hours talking.

Finally, we heard good news: the show would go on! Not only that, but Ateez had paid to override the 11 PM noise ordinance so they could give us the full(ish) concert experience! Some things were sacrificed, such as some of the interstitial banter and my beloved Turbulence, but I am so thankful that the boys fought to give us (and them!) a memorable night.

I remember that was also the night that Seonghwa made a really heart-wrenching speech about the recent loss of his grandparent at the start of the tour. His family was in attendance and it took tremendous courage to be that vulnerable. It's worth listening to his speech, because everyone - Seonghwa, the members, the audience - was crying.

By that point, the rain had started again and continued through the final encore performance of Utopia. It felt like my ATINY baptism.

After that concert, I was all-in. I had my first comeback that November with Golden Hour: Part 2. I was traveling for a friend's wedding the week after the album released and I was on my own for a few days in Philadelphia to do some museum-hopping. The fandom felt like my travel companions! I was plugged into stationhead for most of that first week with thousands of other atiny as we streamed the new song. When I traveled down to visit my best friend in Baltimore, she generously drove me to the nearest Target so I could buy my first kpop album and she indulged me by watching their Killing Voice and Drunkteez episodes. In return, I listened to her gush about Formula 1 and Max/Charles (I will be taking her to see Ateez in Baltimore this July).

I was sitting in the airport waiting to fly home when we heard that Ateez topped the Billboard Top 200 and I swear to god it was one of the highlights of my year. It felt like our achievement as much as theirs!

As you probably know, I've since become way more involved in the fandom. I plan to return to CitiField this July with the same friend I made during that fated concert last year! It'll feel like my one-year anniversary as an atiny!

Thanks for asking!

[cheegu3]

Enhypen - the glory (part 11, finale)

summary; after rejecting one of the most popular boys at your new school, you soon realised that you'd done the gravest mistake of your life; these weren't ordinary boys, and now they were set on making your life a living hell - heavily based on the kdrama with the same name

warnings; yandere themes, kidnapping, domestic violence, sexual assault accusation,

genre; yandere

wc; 10k

pairing; enha x f.m reader

note; longer note at the very end, thank you so much for reading and going on this journey with me for my full-length series, love u !!🤍🤍

masterlist

You remained frozen in your spot until the car's sound slowly disappeared. What broke you out of your trance was the raspy, struggling breaths that came from the floor a few meters away.

It took a long time to unglue your shoes from the hardwood floor; it felt like you were stuck to it and would stay like that forever, unable to move out of fear. When you eventually succeeded, you turned bit by bit to face Jake.

His sluggish eyes had never left you. They were begging silently for you to make a choice - save him or leave him?

It seemed like he had already guessed what you would choose. More fresh tears slowly slid down his paling skin and his eyes finally looked away when he started sniffling again. 

You watched him, feeling very conflicted on the inside. You wondered if he felt bad for everything he had done, if he would change if you saved him, or if he would continue the same way as before.

There was also some fear on your part. Why were you hesitating about a life? It was your bully, but it was still another person like you. Playing God wasn’t something that was right, was it?

So why did you want him to die? All you saw when looking at the writhing, pathetic struggling human on the floor was Jake; you couldn’t see another person who deserved to be saved, who was empathetic and kind and sweet.

And that scared you. What would Soobin think of you if you told him that? He had already expressed how he thought you were changing. This wasn’t like you. The old you would’ve rushed to call an ambulance, heart drumming in your chest with adrenaline and panic at the thought of someone dying in front of you and knowing you could’ve changed the outcome.

But the new you? Didn’t feel much when looking at him except for very small pity. He hadn’t even betrayed his friends yet he would get killed by them - the ones he probably cherished and trusted most. The worst part was how Jungwon hadn’t even hesitated. Nothing was behind those eyes when he delivered a killing blow to his best friend of years.

Just like the tears running down Jake’s face, you were aware of time running out. Then, you made a choice.

You walked out just in time to see the ambulance near in the distance - technically you hadn’t saved him, but you gave him and God the choice of whether to survive the trip to the hospital…or not.

You refused to change into a heartless person. That wasn’t who you were no matter how much they’d hurt you.

*******

You had three days to think of something. Three days was a very long time in a case like this, but also not enough time.

Standing out in the cold you watched the ambulance leave and took out your phone. No taxis would come out to that place especially not at that hour. So you did the only thing you could think of - call your dad.

‘’ Y/n! Oh, I was so worried about you. ‘’

You scoffed, ‘’ Yeah, right. I need you to do me a favor, it’s the least you can do after going behind my back. ‘’

‘’ Okay…what do you want me to do? ‘’

‘’ Come get me. I’m at Soobin’s cabin which is about an hour or two from the city. I’ll text you the address. ‘’

You hung up before hearing his answer. Being curt and stern would probably make him more likely to do it since he could feel you keeping a distance and being cold. Maybe he thought you’d soften if he followed through, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

Waiting for your dad took too long, so you hesitantly turned back towards the cabin again. You wanted to go back, bask in the warmth, and maybe even rest since you had rejected sleep many times during the long day. However, the closer you got to the cabin, the more your brain started showing the scenes that would await you if you entered; the blood and the memories accompanying it.

Before you had even made up your mind, your feet seemed to have dragged you to the door on their own. Taking a deep breath first, you then pressed down the handle and pushed it open.

You didn’t step in yet and your eyes had been squeezed shut. It was between the cold winter outside and the potential murder scene inside.

You opened your eyes. Instinctively they went to the pool on the floor, but you forced yourself to look away. The door was now locked and you went to the second floor, too uncomfortable to sleep on the first since that’s where the events unfolded. 

Then you waited; tossed and turned while waiting both for your dad and for your body to fall asleep. It was hard. The house was eerily quiet, to the point you could hear every single creak the wood made when the wind grazed the cabin. 

Eventually, the exhaustion won over the paranoia. Your head fell back against the soft mattress and you slept soundly, looking more peaceful than when awake, and you continued to do so until your dad found you.

Just like when you were a kid, you were carried to the car. You woke up due to the sound of the rain pattering against the roof, but quickly fell asleep again with a smile on your face as you thought of how happy it would’ve made Soobin if he knew you finally got some rest.

*******

You woke up the next day feeling restless and antsy. You felt like you had no one to turn to and get support from or conjure up a plan with. Right then it looked like you’d spend the three days becoming more and more mentally tortured as the time was running out.

Then you’d probably show up at the doorstep, no plan or defense; you’d surrender and hope for the best - that they’d let you and most importantly Soobin go, unharmed. 

Slowly you rolled out of bed. Like always when getting dressed, you avoided looking in the mirror and if you did, you never let your eyes drift to the ugly scars. If you did, it was almost like it triggered the pain all over again. Your arms would start to itch terribly, and you could feel the burning spreading like wildfire all throughout your body again.

The door opened and since you had put on your clothes already, you dared to look at the door through the mirror. You saw your dad peeking in, an ingenuine smile on his face. Then you caught a glimpse of yourself too, you looked so tired and like you’d been drained of life and happiness. You supposed it was true, you couldn’t wait for it all to be over, for you to finally get peace again.

‘’ Going to school today? ‘’

You were about to glare at him, but then your frowned forehead softened. You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not go? Would they actually go to school when they were busy holding a hostage at one of their houses? You doubted it. They had never cared much about education anyway.

You grunted at him and when he left you packed your backpack full of the books you had neglected. When you’d get to school, you feared that the teachers would question you about why your grades had been falling and why you didn’t do your homework.

Aware of the fact that exams were coming up soon you had considered studying with Soobin. The circumstances just never seemed right. New things, new burdens always seemed to pop up, leaving little room for ordinary things.

You left, walking past your dad wordlessly, and then ran to the bus, almost missing it by a few seconds. The universe must’ve really wanted you to go to school today. The bus was pretty much empty. You took a seat near the back of it and rested against the window.

The whole ride, you had your eyes closed, in between sleeping and being awake all the way until arriving at school. Pushing past the other students you managed to be one of the first ones out. You hurried to walk to the school, up the stairs, and finally to the classroom. The less people, the less anxiety.

Only when you sat down in your seat could you relax. Soon enough the room filled as more students streamed in and took their own seats. The spot where they sat were empty. You looked out to the corridor and didn’t see them there either, but who you did see however was Jiyun. 

She didn’t return your wave or smile. She just continued walking, her head down so she couldn’t see you.

You grimaced and felt very offended. Sure, you hadn’t expected to make a friend, but you had at least thought she’d be polite. What was even weirder was that as you kept following her with your eyes through the glass facing the hallway, she turned quite abruptly and walked right into your classroom.

You cowered back, cautious of her unpredictable and almost erratic behavior. Walking right up to you, she looked determined. She leaned in and whispered in your ear.

‘’ Come with me to the library. ‘’

Jiyun saw how your eyebrows raised, forehead frowning when you weren’t immediately convinced, ‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Just, please. Do me a favor! ‘’

You stood up and followed her reluctantly out of the classroom and into the library that was on the same floor. It was empty because all the students were waiting for the first class to start. Jiyun found your hand at some point and dragged you through the maze of the bookshelves.

Stopping at the corner at the very far end from the entrance, she finally turned to you. Something flashed across her face; guilt, sadness or was it pity?

Your gaze started flickering, ‘’ Jiyun, what are we doing here? ‘’

‘’ I’m sorry. ‘’ 

You watched in confusion as she started unbuttoning the first buttons of her shirt, she threw the fabric off of half of her shoulder with so much force it almost ripped. Then she pulled out her ponytail but not all the way, followed by smearing some of her makeup.

‘’ Jiyun? ‘’ your voice grew more concerned, more exasperated.

No response. She picked up a book and you gasped as she hit it hard against her face. You tried to pull it out of her hands and were instead met with a slap to your face.

‘’ I have to do this. ‘’

‘’ What…’’

You ignored her and tried to reach for the book again that she had managed to hit herself with more times since you were distracted by the stinging feeling on your cheek. Fear could be felt in the pit of your stomach as things were slowly starting to get pieced together.

Red marks had formed on her face now, sure to be big bruises in a day or two. When she noticed you moving towards her in the corner of her eye, she gave you an apologetic look before kicking you hard in your stomach. You fell over and groaned, clutching your stomach and gasping for air. 

‘’ Stand up. ‘’

You managed to get to a standing position with the help of the closest bookshelves that you could claw yourself up with. She looked completely disheveled when you turned to her. You were about to ask again - why are we here, why are you doing this? 

Before you could, she had already turned again, heading right for the hallway. You started to follow her but were left frozen in your spot. A loud shriek ripped from Jiyun’s throat. She fell to her knees in the middle of the hall and sobbed loudly.

People ran out of the classrooms wondering what all the noise was about and quickly the space had been filled to max capacity. One girl crouched down next to her while a teacher cleared a way to get through.

‘’ What happened? ‘’

‘’ She-sh, she hurt me! ‘’

You stared at her in bewilderment, until it turned to despair and you felt a stomach-dropping feeling when with a shaky hand she pointed at you. All heads turned to you, but you only had eyes for Jiyun on the floor.

Betrayal…again? However, can you really betray someone if you never had any loyalty to them?

The panic flared up inside your body. You took a few steps back towards the people, eyes wide and filled to the brim with tears. 

‘’ Y/n? What did she do? ‘’ the teacher said behind your turned back.

‘’ She hit me….she al-always bullies me and sometimes she, ‘’ Jiyun faked a hiccup in the middle of her even faker crying, ‘’ She touches…’’ her voice died out and it had the dramatic effect she must’ve hoped for.

The crowd gasped and next they murmured about how they had noticed how her clothes looked like they’d been roughly handled. You didn’t look at any of them. You knew they had already collectively decided to condemn you and believe Jiyun instead.

‘’ Y/n, is this true? ‘’

Your throat felt dry, too dry to even speak. You tried clearing it, but it almost caused you to feel like you couldn’t breathe and kickstart a panic attack so you shook your head. First gently and then more violently, almost until you got dizzy. 

‘’ Come with me to my office, ‘’ she sternly said.

You felt her hand wrap around your arm in a tough hold. You were dragged past the people whose words hurt you almost physically as well as mentally. After hearing all that they said, you ended up in the chair in front of her desk with an expressionless look on your face.

You felt empty. There was barely any room for anger; it was more of an acceptance that had come after the initial horror. It was them. They were behind this 100%, and it was what Jiyun had warned you of in the bathroom. 

You scoffed sarcastically. You never would’ve done that to another student, even if it meant them going even harder on you, even if it meant more burn marks. She had sold herself easily.

‘’ Is this funny to you, y/n? ‘’

It wasn’t the fact that you had slipped up and forgotten where you were and what situation you were in. It was more that you had hit rock bottom, who gives a fuck attitude? 

‘’ I’m going to have to call your parents. And, ‘’ she slid a pile of papers across the desk. 

‘’ You will be suspended immediately. Leave your badge and all other belongings at the check-in area. ‘’

You threw your head back, ‘’ Of course. ‘’

‘’ Excuse me? ‘’

‘’ You won’t even let me defend myself. It’s just guilty until proven innocent, hm? ‘’

‘’ We have received more reports from other students claiming to have witnessed similar events, ‘’ the teacher irritably shot back.

‘’ And let me guess, their names are Jungwon, Heeseung, Ni-ki, Sunoo, Jake, Sunghoon, and Jay, right? ‘’

Even with your eyes closed, the lack of response was a response in itself. You smiled while looking at the ceiling and crossed your arms nonchalantly. 

‘’ Well fuck you guys then. This has always been a shit and unfair school who have done nothing when it came to defending me. But you’re always so eager to please these kids born with silver spoons in their mouths, fucking hypocrites. ‘’

The teacher gasped and you heard the others in the room stand up to see who the disrespectful student was. You turned and didn’t look back. You meant every word you said and you had waited so long to say it.

They wanted this to crush you and sure, it had made you finally lose it. But for the future, if you won the fight this was a blessing in disguise. 

*******

After coming home, your dad bothered you with a lot of questions which you ignored completely. The door was slammed in his face like usual and he stared at the wood with regret and shame again, wondering why his daughter refused to talk to him even though he was trying so hard.

That night, you slept well. You cried yourself to sleep, letting everything you had been keeping in for who knows how long, just get out. It felt like a huge burden had been taken off your shoulders, you felt lighter and slept like a baby.

The next morning, you had a plan in mind - to see your mom at the hospital and then Yeonjun. You technically had two more days left but since you didn’t have a school to go to anymore and Yeena was unreachable, these were the two things you wanted to do the most.

The staff at the hospital gave you dirty looks when you told them your name and said why you were there. Walking past some while taking the elevator, you caught a few words here and there. They seemed to judge you, calling you a bad daughter for not visiting when your mom had been there for so long.

You didn’t care. It was a private hospital that treated snobby, rude, and probably at some times undeserving rich people. It was no wonder the staff would be similar. With a head held high, you stepped into the elevator and flashed them a smile. They turned away and looked uncomfortable.

‘’ Your mom’s room is on the 16th floor. In the VIP section. ‘’ you saw in the mirrors on the walls how they looked you up and down.

‘’ Did you pay for this? ‘’

‘’ No. ‘’

They didn’t ask any more questions and just led you to the room, leaving afterward to give you some privacy. Your mom looked more vibrant than the last time you had seen her.

Sitting on her bed, she was looking out of the window at the beautiful view. Her cheeks looked less hollow like she had gained some weight and her skin looked less pale.

‘’ Hi, mom. ‘’

Her head whipped around and her face lit up, ‘’ Y/n! I’ve been waiting for you. ‘’

You sat down on her bed and let her pull you into her arms. She kissed the top of your head and rubbed your back as if you were the one who was sick.

‘’ How have you been, honey? ‘’

‘’ It’s okay. Not much has changed since last time. ‘’

She looked concerned and you felt bad for letting a frown form on her warm face so you leaned into her touch and smiled comfortingly.

‘’ It’s fine mom, I’m doing well. ‘’

‘’ And Soobin? ‘’

You hesitated, ‘’ What about him? ‘’

‘’ Is he doing well? Last time I saw you two, you were hiding from someone. ‘’

‘’ He’s…fine too. They weren’t anyone important mom, stop worrying. ‘’ 

She nodded and leaned back. Her eyes were still set on the horizon outside, the big skyscrapers outside accompanying it.

‘’ I like it here, ‘’ your mom sighed contently, ‘’ But I want to go outside with my daughter. ‘’

Your smile turned sorrowful. ‘’ One day. One day soon we will do that. ‘’

Only a half-smile pulled at the corners of her lips.

‘’ Do you really think so, honey? ‘’

‘’ Of course, ‘’ a tear rolled down your cheek.

‘’ I would take you to that park near our old house, the one you used to play so much in. Do you remember it? ‘’

The sheets ruffled as you angled your head to look at her. The light shining through the windows made her look so much like an angel, just like it; she beamed with hope, love, and warmth.

‘’ I do. ‘’

‘’ You didn’t have many friends so mommy always played with you ‘’ she looked at you when the fond memory came to mind, ‘’ But what did I always tell you? ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing wrong with being alone in this world, ‘’ you whispered thickly, holding back more tears from spilling.

Although it was a sweet memory for your mom. You had always suppressed it because it always reminded you of the grim future that followed that moment. Nothing changed. Ever since birth you had, had few by your side. Never did you fit in, never did you have genuine friends. Never understood, never loved.

You buried your face into your mom’s hospital gown. She hummed and put her arm around you to bring you closer. You stayed like that for a while, just relaxing under her wings. 

When it was time to go, you looked back at her one last time and promised to visit soon with Soobin by your side. You hoped that the next time you’d see her would be the day of her discharge.

*******

You knocked on the door before you changed your mind and turned around. The sound almost made the silence after seem even more deafening than before. No movement could be heard on the other side so slowly you turned, ready to leave disappointed.

‘’ Y/n, is that you? ‘’ a weak voice mumbled, stopping you in your tracks.

You stared back at the door in disbelief. It had been so quiet that you were questioning if you’d imagined it or not.

‘’ Yeonjun? ‘’

The lock clicked and the door creaked open. It revealed Yeonjun who looked like he’d been through hell. Not only did he have dark circles under his eyes, disheveled hair and was wearing the same clothes he was when you saw him last; but, you could also see all the trash in the back. It looked like he had purposefully ruined his room.

Papers, books, clothes, all laid crumpled up or torn on the floor, right next to the bags of snacks and cans of drinks.

‘’ How- ‘’ you licked your lips, unsure of what to say. ‘’ How…are you doing? ‘’

He chuckled sarcastically, ‘’ What does it look like? ‘’

You chewed on your lips.

‘’ I’m sorry. About everything, and I should’ve come to check up on you sooner. ‘’

Yeonjun stared at you for some seconds in silence. Then he nodded, a fake smile ghosting over his lips briefly before he went back to looking sullen.

‘’ How’s Soobin? ‘’

He must’ve noticed your hesitance because his eyes suddenly widened, looking a lot more interested and lively than earlier. 

‘’ Has he hurt him? ‘’

‘’ Jungwon? No, I don’t think so, ‘’ you truthfully said.

‘’ Then what? ‘’

‘’ Soobin brought me to your cabin. I- um…came up with the idea to bring Jake there, luring him and making him give us some information. ‘’

He crossed his arms, making you speak faster in nervousness. 

‘’ Well, things went wrong. Jungwon stabbed Jake- ‘’ his mouth opened and his eyebrows twitched. ‘’ Then they took Soobin when they left and told me they’ll give me three days. ‘’

‘’ Before what? ‘’

‘’ Not really sure. I think they were threatening to hurt Soobin. ‘’

His tongue poked the inside of his cheek and you cowered away, ready to get yelled at. Again, he stayed quiet. It was a bit different from the first time you’d met him when he was confident and replied rapidly and sharply. Now he seemed to need some time to think over what to say.

Or calm himself. You finally dared to look at him after he was silent for a few minutes and to your horror, you noticed his hands were shaking. 

‘’ Yeon- ‘’

‘’ None of this would’ve happened if you just listened to me from the beginning. ‘’

You didn’t raise your voice even if you felt like his harsh words were unfair. There was some truth to them. You could’ve still been friends with Soobin without dragging him into the mess. He nagged you about how little you were sleeping, while he himself looked tired all the time. Yet, his face would light up any time he saw you and he was ready to drop everything to help you.

You didn’t deserve him. Hot tears filled your eyes, making Yeonjun turn blurry. You turned your head away in shame, ‘’ I’ll get him back, ‘’ you mumbled before walking away.

He didn’t stop you. It seemed like you were alone in the fight again. It was then and there that you made the rash decision. Your feet moved on their own, bringing you to another doorstep.

You rang the doorbell and waited. It took some time for the door to be answered. A lot of noises came from the other side but around three minutes passed before someone actually opened it.

A familiar face greeted you, ‘’ You’re here already? ‘’

You nodded, not having any energy to smile and certainly no energy to hear any mocking. Thankfully it was Sunoo who opened the door, with a curious Ni-ki standing just a step away.

‘’ Are you…okay? ‘’ the taller male asked. ‘’ You don’t look so good. ‘’

You were swaying from foot to foot, deeply affected by the conversation with Yeonjun. Your eyes barely grazed over the two boys, they kept wandering aimlessly.

‘’ Will you let him go if I come in? ‘’

‘’ Yes, ‘’ Ni-ki hurried to press out before Sunoo answered.

He moved to the side and you walked in, again without looking back. Hands reached for your jacket and you let them take it off without a fight. One, or both of them put their arms around you, you think it was Ni-ki, while Sunoo held your hand instead.

They lead you through the familiar living room and kitchen, finally ending up in the garden. At the end of the garden, Sunghoon stood by some rose bushes. He raised his eyebrow when he spotted the three of you, a smile tugging at his lips.

‘’ It hasn’t even been three days. ‘’

‘’ I know, ‘’ you weakly said, ‘’ When can I see Soobin? ‘’

‘’ I will take you to him now. ‘’

He turned and Ni-ki and Sunoo let go of you. Instead, you followed Sunghoon who seemed to disappear into the bushes when he took a step forward. You blinked in confusion, not sure what to do. A small scream erupted from you when you were tugged forward by the arm.

On the other side of the bush was an entrance to a bunker. You looked at Sunghoon who gladly boasted, ‘’ We all have a bunker in our backyards, in case enemies come. ‘’

You hummed, obediently climbing down first when he opened it for you. Of course the rich would be saved first in case of an emergency. You scoffed scornfully under your breath. 

It was a very big bunker that looked fit for a family like Jungwon’s. The first section was a long hallway and it had different doors which you assumed were bedrooms for every family member and more.

Sunghoon led you through the tight hall into an opening in the middle before the hallways continued. It was a leisure room; beanbags, a pool table, a boxing machine, and even a TV with controllers that Heeseung and Jay were playing with were there.

Jungwon sat a bit away from the other two, on a beanbag in the corner pressed against the wall. He watched them but didn’t engage and because his seat was facing the entrance to the hallway, he was the first to notice you coming.

He looked surprised. His eyebrows raised and his mouth opened when he stood up, ‘’ It hasn’t been three days. ‘’ he echoed what Sunghoon had said.

‘’ I know. I didn’t have anything to do, ‘’ you shrugged casually.

He must’ve thought you were stupid. Heeseung and Jay looked over their shoulders to glance at you briefly and then turned back almost instantly to their game. Jungwon however, crossed his arms and tilted his head, a frown had formed on his face.

‘’ You had nothing to do? That’s it? ‘’

You nodded, determined to pretend like you weren’t about to faint from the fear. It was best to act like you were completely nonchalant and unfazed by what you had witnessed him doing not that long ago.

His frown turned into a joyous smirk, ‘’ Did you go to school? ‘’

‘’ Yes. ‘’

Your head turned when Heeseung chuckled darkly. He didn’t turn around so you all watched his back, waiting for him to say something.

‘’ And? Did you have fun? ‘’ he drawled.

‘’ Yes, ‘’ you said, this time a bit more hesitant.

‘’ Were you expelled? ‘’ Jay chimed in.

You didn’t answer this time, but judging by their shared looks and smiles on their faces, they knew.

‘’ I’ll show you where you will sleep. ‘’

‘’ Sleep? ‘’

You stared after Jungwon who walked down the other hallway. He didn’t stop and say anything, he only turned once he had reached the end and opened a door. You ran there because he looked very impatient.

It was a small room, about the size of a prison cell. It was cozier than one though, with a proper bed and a desk but it didn’t have much else in it. Covers and blankets were on the bed. The walls were blank and empty, void of any personality. 

‘’ Why do I get my own room? ‘’

Jungwon seemed amused, ‘’ I guess it will take some while to release Soobin. In the meantime, you’ll be here, with us. ‘’

‘’ No! That was not part of the plan at all, ‘’ your voice got louder.

‘’ Maybe not yours. ‘’

He started stalking towards you, making the only space that was furthest away from him the bed. You crawled back on it, all the way until your back hit the wall. Your hands tried to push him away and even claw at his exposed forearms.

He was still indifferent, only looking down at you after having crawled on top with a dissatisfied look on his face. That same look - like you were just a disobedient child.

He groaned when your foot temporarily had some room to move and you pulled your leg up to knee him in between his legs. It didn’t really have the effect you wanted it to. Instead of pulling away, he knew what you were trying to do and fell forward, putting all of his weight on you instead.

You huffed as you tried to lift him off of you to get away but it was impossible, he didn’t move an inch. Into the crook of your neck, you felt his hot breath on your skin as he laughed. It was followed by a clicking sound and something cold and tight around your wrists.

You moved them but they weren’t able to move very far, something clinked when you pulled them too far away. When Jungwon finally drew away from you and laid on the bed, you realized he had handcuffed you to the bed. 

‘’ Jungwon! Uncuff me now you- bitch! ‘’ you growled at him.

He gave you one final look of cockiness and amusement before turning his back on you and ignoring your screams and insults. You kicked against the blankets like a little child and screamed your throat hoarse. 

‘’ No, no! Don’t you dare leave me here! ‘’

The only response you got was the sound of the door closing and the key turning in the lock. It stilled you completely. You stopped fighting and relaxed, knowing that energy should be saved for later.

Staring at the ceiling now you began to regret your decision. It was too impulsive and not at all thought through. You hadn’t even considered that they might stop you from leaving. You sighed and closed your eyes, which made your thoughts redirect to Soobin. Why wouldn’t they just let him go? When you imagined him confined to a small room like this somewhere down there, you almost started to cry out of guilt. Whatever they’d ask of you to let Soobin go, you’d do it, without a doubt.

*******

Sometime after laying there and just daydreaming about past memories and the future again, you fell asleep. When you woke up you had no idea what time it was since the room had no windows. 

You could hear noises coming from the wall next to your bed so you shuffled closer to it and put your ear against it. The sounds became clearer. Was that someone crying? 

‘’ Hello? ‘’

It became quiet. Then, you heard something moving on the other side. A voice made you jump in surprise, ‘’ Is that you? ‘’

‘’ Jake? ‘’ you breathed, ‘’ You-you’re alive? ‘’

He giggled, maybe detecting the small concern in your voice, ‘’ Yes, thanks to you. ‘’

You opened and closed your mouth a few times, not sure what to say. Jake continued talking to take the burden from you.

‘’ I got here yesterday after getting treated at the hospital. They said it wasn’t too bad. ‘’

‘’ Why would you come here after they stabbed you? ‘’

‘’ Well…I thought they had taken you. I wanted to help you, return the favor and stuff. ‘’

‘’ But it didn’t go well I’m guessing? ‘’

‘’ No. Clearly not, ‘’ he said jokingly, ‘’ They didn’t accept me back but thankfully they didn’t kill me either. ‘’

You weren’t sure why you asked the next question or why you even cared, but it was like he made you feel pity for him. Like this wasn’t the same guy that had bullied you.

‘’ Have they been giving you food? ‘’

Jake didn’t see it as you being kind and thoughtful, he thought you were concerned for your own health, ‘’ Yeah. They give us food if you’re worried about that. Water too. ‘’

You hummed, chewing on your lip. 

‘’ How will we get out? ‘’

‘’ I’m not sure we will, y/n. ‘’

Neither of you said anything after that. The words felt heavy; enough so that it sent both of you into deep thought. You stared at the ceiling again, there wasn’t much to do in there anyway.

Just then, someone knocked on your door. They didn’t listen for a response and you waited anxiously as it unlocked and was pushed open. Heeseung stepped in with a tray of food and a bottle of water.

Jay peeked in for a moment and then disappeared again, shortly being replaced by the face of Sunoo. You rolled over on your side, feeling horrendously like a zoo animal. 

‘’ Hey, princess. ‘’ 

Heeseung sat crosslegged by the bed and opened the water. Despite your body language protesting, he helped you sit upright and poured water into your mouth. Your eyes drifted from your bully to the tray of food he had placed on the bed.

He snickered when he noticed it and brought it forward. Taking some chopsticks he loaded food into your mouth which you gladly took even though you were dying on the inside from humiliation.

And that was it. Once the food was eaten and the water drunken, he left and locked the room again. You stared wide-eyed at the door after. Were they doing it on purpose? Limiting social interactions to use it as a tool? You would’ve thought they’d be eager to talk to you now that they had you all for themselves, out of sight of everyone else.

Like on the bus, you remained between sleeping and being conscious again; occasionally turning your head towards the wall where Jake was on the other side and then staring at the door.

The next time the door opened, you assumed it was nighttime. Jay had been the one tasked with giving you food and water instead of Heeseung, but you still saw Sunoo in the background. He came in fully and sat on the foot of the bed. His eyes carried compassion and guilt in them, which were trained on you the whole time you let Jay feed you.

‘’ What time is it? How long have I been here? ‘’

You tried initiating a conversation to test your theory of them purposefully avoiding talking to you for too long. Jay stopped his movements. He looked annoyed and almost glared at you.

‘’ Hours. ‘’

‘’ How many? ‘’

You were ignored. Not even begging silently to Sunoo helped you. He stood up which caught the attention of Heeseung and Sunghoon who had now also joined your room, although only in the doorway. 

At the sound of shuffling footsteps behind him, Jay’s head snapped around. Sunoo stared back, a fearful expression on his face as he met the slight glare his friend directed toward him.

Their temper had always been short when it came to Sunoo. No one got scolded or watched as closely as he did. He never contributed anything to plans, he was more dragged along and forced to submit.

‘’ Where are you going? ‘’ Heeseung’s low voice warned.

He felt uncomfortable under the spotlight. All of you had your eyes on him, watching him closely; inspecting him, maybe even judging him. A grimace took over his fear, he instead felt rather pathetic.

But at the same time, Sunoo had more reason to be afraid of them now. They had killed Jake for stepping out of line, and he was terrified they’d do the same to him.

‘’ I-I was just- ‘’

‘’ Just leave, ‘’ Sunghoon waved him off, and the almost disgusted scowl on his face was hard to miss.

You released the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding in when he turned back again. What did they want? And what were they going to do? Not knowing was somehow worse than if you knew they would hurt you next, at least then you could prepare. It reminded you of the gym, that first time they had pressed the hot iron against your skin.

You had no clue what would happen when you walked into that room, similar to how you’d felt when you walked into Jungwon’s house, and every single time they stepped into your room so far.

Do they want to talk this time, taunt you, just see you, make a deal, kiss you or is this the time they take it one step further? Those were anxious thoughts that always filled your head when almost all of them had gathered now. At this point, it almost immediately kicked your fight or flight in when you heard the lock turn; just like Pavlov’s dog, you had been trained to recognize the sound and your body reacted autonomously. 

‘’ Hey. ‘’

You raised your hung head and looked at Jay. The two of you seemed to try and read what was on the other’s mind, but you had no luck.

‘’ Do you not want to see Soobin? ‘’

A humorless scoff left your dry lips, ‘’ He’s not dead yet? ‘’

His eyebrow raised, your reaction was quite unexpected. You sounded exhausted, almost like you had given up already. It was a shame, they hadn’t even toyed that much with you yet.

‘’ Do you wish he were? ‘’

‘’ No, ‘’ you firmly pressed out through clenched teeth.

‘’ Then you better be on your best behavior, ‘’ he smirked before standing up.

You watched through the corner of your eye how he walked away with the others and relaxed when the sound of the door closing echoed. 

You began to think less and less that they would let either of you go. Despite their fathers being close, Soobin’s dad wouldn’t have anything to say if his son came in between his boss and the company’s future. 

Time was running out in all ways. The election was fast approaching, on top of all the other things that were burdens for you. 

*******

A lot of time had passed until you opened your eyes again. You assumed you had been sleeping because you couldn’t remember what you had daydreamed about. What had woken you up was a lot of noise on the outside.

The more you were waking up and shaking the grogginess off, the louder and clearer the sounds became. They were shouting and you could hear thuds, sounds of furniture moving and banging.

You sat up straight. Footsteps approached your door. With your heart in your throat, you stared and waited. It went quiet, then the lock slowly clicked; with a creak, it was pushed open. You almost pressed your eyes shut out of fear but didn’t have time.

‘’ Yeonjun? ‘’

‘’ Hey. Sorry I was late, ‘’ he casually said, ‘’ Sunoo told me where you were. ‘’

You were about to say something else when a stranger pushed past him. More people poured in, shining their bright lights at you so it took some time to adjust to it. You heard what sounded like a radio, and your head snapped up.

‘’ You’re here to help me? ‘’ you choked out.

They looked down at you with polite smiles. One of them helped uncuff you and get you on your feet. You followed them wordlessly out of the room. When they led you past Jake’s room you couldn’t help but glance in.

He was sitting up on his bed and people were helping him too. He saw you and grinned widely, looking like a little puppy.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’ you looked back at Yeonjun who was following you.

‘’ He’s safe. He was in one of the rooms near the entrance, ‘’ he assured you.

The area you had been in just a few hours ago was completely destroyed. The TV had fallen and the chairs and tables on the other side had been knocked over. 

‘’ Where are they? ‘’

Yeonjun couldn’t hold back the smirk that spread on his face, ‘’ You’ll see. ‘’

You frowned and climbed up the ladder, wondering what he was talking about. As soon as you were out, you had your answer. All six of them were being led away in handcuffs by police officers in the same uniform as the ones escorting you out.

Your group waited for your bullies to leave so you let your eyes wander while standing there. It didn’t seem like there had been an altercation above the bunker so they must have all been below ground. 

Next, you turned and your heart almost stopped. Two people stared back at you, both equally as taken back and so moved by seeing you that they had tears in their eyes. You ran over there, straight into his arms.

‘’ Are you okay? ‘’ you mumbled into his chest.

He sniffled and laughed. You only cried harder, knowing how much you had missed hearing that laugh.

‘’ Yes, I’m okay. Are you? ‘’ he pulled away to look at you, and seemingly satisfied he pulled you in to hug you even tighter.

‘’ Hey, asshole. When is it my turn? ‘’

Soobin rubbed the back of his neck and you saw his cheeks turn red before he released you. Yena had never looked that animated before. She was beaming and had even let the tears drop shamelessly. 

You returned her smile and hugged her carefully. Her hold around you tightened and you felt her chest heave. You rubbed her back soothingly and cried too, mostly because you felt sorry that hadn’t believed her.

You both pulled back after some time and wiped your tears. She genuinely looked like she loved you. You felt like you had to say it, ‘’ I’m so sorry, Yena. ‘’

Her eyes narrowed, ‘’ No! Do not apologize. ‘’

You laughed and accepted defeat because she genuinely looked really angry like she wanted to punch you for even uttering those words or thinking them. 

A hand touched your arm. You turned around, knowing who it was already. A shy Jake greeted you, his anxious eyes darting to Yena and Soobin several times.

‘’ Hi, ‘’ he sheepishly said.

‘’ Hi. ‘’

‘’ I just, um- ‘’ he looked really uncomfortable so you gave him a reassuring smile which seemed to relax him a little bit. 

‘’ I want to apologize for everything. ‘’

You blinked at him.

‘’ What? ‘’ you all three said in unison. 

‘’ Well…I don’t want to blame the others. But I think being in that environment with really bad people influenced me. I’m not perfect, which is why I want to apologize so hopefully I can change, and become better.’’

‘’ I- oh, that’s nice. Thank you. ‘’

He nodded and laughed a bit awkwardly. Trying to move past you he was stopped as you pulled on his sleeve. You weren’t sure if you were making a mistake you’d come to regret. However, you said it anyway,

‘’ We can keep in touch if you want. ‘’

Now it was his time to blink at you in bewilderment, ‘’ What? Are you sure? ‘’

‘’ Yeah. I might move away from the city anyway. ‘’

You handed him your phone which he stared at for a few seconds before he seemed to snap out of it. He gave it back and this time he had a genuine smile on his face as he left. Yena and Soobin immediately ran up to you.

‘’ Are you crazy? Why would you do that? ‘’

‘’ I don’t know, ‘’ you groaned, ‘’ Trying to give people a second chance? ‘’

Soobin shook his head, ‘’ What would you do without me? ‘’

You laughed loudly and hugged him again. Pressed against his chest, you soon pulled away slightly to look up at him.

‘’ Soobin? ‘’

‘’ Yeah- ‘’

His words were knocked right out of his mouth as you stood on tiptoe to press your lips against his. Yena squealed with joy and gasped when she noticed. There was so much love, so much desperation and yearning in that kiss you had waited so long for. When you both looked at each other, he was glowing with happiness, he could feel what you were trying to tell him.

*******

Yeonjun had explained it about a thousand times since you left Jungwon’s house that night. However many times he kept doing it, it was still surreal to you and Soobin. What he had done once you left was quite simple, but not something any of you had thought about before.

He went to social media and the press. Turned out your bullies thought you’d never go online with it all because it was too big of a thing, they probably only thought that if you did that you would write some letter exposing the bullying. Those that released letters like that never gained much attention, they were always buried under the other hundreds of letters.

And if they thought you’d attempt to go on social media with the scandals of the company abusing their staff and being corrupt; they assumed you would post it, and they’d track you down before it gained traction.

Yeonjun was smarter than that. He went anonymous and made sure he couldn’t be traced at all. With his hacking, he released the most important files - the photos, texts, and evidence that were the most important. He had organized them when you all thought he was locked up in his room because he was distressed. No, that had only motivated him further, pushing him to his limits to get revenge for his friend.

It took a lot of time for it to get attention on social media, so he copied and sent it to every news outlet he had done research on that wasn’t connected to the company. Naturally, they freaked out. They tried looking everywhere for Yeonjun, but he wasn’t at home.

It was crazy, something out of a movie almost. You felt so lucky that it took off online the way that it did because it was a bit of a luck game. Some must’ve tried the same things you did, but it never got highlighted.

You suppose this was the universe’s way of giving back to you after so much pain and misery. All the fighting, tears, and work for the revenge you so badly wanted to get; had not been in vain.

You leaned your head back against the seat in the car after Yeonjun had retold his story again. He said that the evidence led to a warrant for their arrest and that they were being detained while they investigated.

*******

The sounds of heels clacking against the marble floor echoed down the hallway. You already knew who they might be, the mothers of your bullies. So you made a run for it, scared that they would confront you.

Escaping into one of the corridors to the side that led to smaller courtrooms, you pressed yourself against the wall while holding your breath. The heels went past you and then disappeared completely. 

Soon, you started to hear two voices. It sounded like an older male and…You leaned closer, the voice became clearer. It was your lawyer that you had recently hired in case your bullies or the company tried to get back at you. In hushed voices, they angrily conversed.

‘’ You said you could wrap this up. ‘’

Your lawyer released a short, tired sigh and you could almost picture him rubbing his nose out of frustration.

‘’ I would’ve been able to if they didn’t take it to the media. With everyone’s eyes on us, I can’t do much, people have protested! You’ll have to accept the punishment. ‘’

Silence filled the area for a short period. Then a low hum sounded from the older male. You suspected he was from Jay’s dad’s company from what they were saying. It meant that your lawyer was affiliated with them. You rolled your eyes - of course, your luck would have it that way. 

But at the same time, it didn’t seem to matter. The lawyer couldn’t soften the blow of the angry citizens and keyboard warriors at home, nor could they dodge the bullets of the workers’ unions that demanded a punishment. Jungwon wouldn’t get quite the same punishment the company would, so maybe they were talking about that and not why you were there today.

‘’ And the girls? ‘’

You straightened up and swallowed thickly, almost choking on air when you were mentioned. 

‘’ I’m not sure what will happen to her. She hasn’t asked for the case to be reopened. ‘’

Your eyebrows knit together. Reopened? They weren’t talking about you. Who were they talking about? Shuffling closer to the voices as they became even more cautiously hushed, you hoped that they would explain it further or at least say enough for you to decipher it yourself.

‘’ I probably won’t have to worry about that then. We paid them a great deal. ‘’

‘’ And even if she went through with it, she wouldn’t have gotten much justice, ‘’ your lawyer filled in.

You waited with bated breath for them to continue, but a long time passed with neither of them saying anything. Then you heard the sound of shoes moving and you hurried to turn the corner, your heart beating loudly in your chest.

‘’ Miss? ‘’

You froze. Turning around, you could only assume you looked like a deer caught in headlights. It was evident that you had heard something you weren’t supposed to. Your lawyer stepped away from the older male and put a hand hovering against the small of your back to make you move.

The two of you walked back to the courtroom, and immediately after retaking your seats outside it, he questioned you.

‘’ What were you doing? ‘’

You bit your tongue, ‘’ I was just resting and I…accidentally heard you. ‘’

He hummed and put his arm to rest behind you on the bench. It served its purpose. Intimidated, words slipped out of your mouth without him having said much.

‘’ I-I didn’t hear much. I swear! ‘’

He looked disappointed, but also amused; a small smile played on his lips. He leaned in and this time it felt much more intimate. 

‘’ Are you going to tell anyone? ‘’

‘’ No, ‘’ you shook your head vehemently, ‘’ But…who were you talking about? ‘’

‘’ Sunghoon and Jay. ‘’

Your eyes widened and he looked equally surprised when studying your face and seeing that you had no idea what he was talking about.

‘’ Didn’t you get the files? ‘’

‘’ Yes? ‘’ you said in a small voice.

Maybe Yeonjun had left that detail out.

‘’ The reason they were at the police station was to pick up a report that was filed against them by their former girlfriends. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’ 

You had a bad feeling in your stomach, and you could’ve probably guessed right then and there what it was about. It was just hard to imagine those two in particular doing something so heinous, so evil.

Then again - they were friends with Jungwon, the devil himself and evil reincarnated. You supposed it takes one to know one and they were all bad in one way or another.

Your lawyer licked his lips, glanced back to see if anyone else was around, and then casually whispered, ‘’ Domestic violence. ‘’

‘’ Wha- ‘’ you felt at loss for words.

‘’ It was dismissed, naturally because of their connections. They had photos and texts but it was all swept under the rug. ‘’

‘’ How is that even possible? ‘’

‘’ Money is power, miss. ‘’ he looked away, but his smirk was still visible, ‘’ It can do anything you want it to. ‘’

‘’ That’s immoral. ‘’ you angrily burst out, quite loudly.

Immediately a hand found its way to your thigh, warning you to keep your voice down. 

‘’ That’s life, ‘’ he bit back.

His attention was turned to the front again, firmly letting you know he was done talking. You almost felt like a kid around him, despite your ages not being that far apart. You obeyed him, but with a sour taste in your mouth, he reminded you of someone.

‘’ The break is over. Court is in session again. ‘’

People moved into the courtroom. You kept your head down, but could almost predict that Jungwon and his lawyer brushed past you in that moment. When the last few people went in, the guards closed the doors and the sound of it echoed in the silence.

‘’ What do you think the ruling will be? ‘’

He ticked his tongue. You were sure he already had an answer despite not giving it right away. Maybe he was sparing you the pain for a bit longer.

‘’ I think it won’t be a harsh punishment. ‘’

‘’ But, he will go to prison, right? ‘’ he didn’t answer, ‘’ Right? ‘’

‘’ There’s nothing I can do to change it, miss, ‘’ he explained calmly, ‘’ The others were already just put on probation for the kidnapping charges. This is how it works with Chaebol families. ‘’

‘’ He killed someone! ‘’

He glared at you, and your voice quietened down a bit. However, It didn’t do much to quieten the anger you felt inside.

‘’ They will claim it’s involuntary manslaughter, maybe even spin it into negligent homicide. ‘’

‘’ Manslaughter? That must be prison time. ‘’

‘’ Most of the time, you can pay a fine, especially when you’re a first-time offender and a rich, well-known person like Mr. Yang. ‘’

You sighed and your whole body slumped down in the seat. Doubling over you buried your face in your hands and almost tore out pieces of your hair.

‘’ I don’t understand… ‘’ you mumbled to yourself, over and over.

Your lawyer looked at you with pity. But he was quiet. From time to time he went from looking at you with concern, to checking his watch curiously. 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed before the door finally opened again. The people were unusually quiet, so you almost missed them passing by. You only noticed when heaps of shoes passed by right in front of your field of view.

‘’ Y/n, the trial is over. ‘’

Slowly you raised your head, ‘’ What was the verdict? ‘’

‘’ I’ll go check. Stay here. ‘’

He stood up and pushed past the stream of people. Close to the entrance, he stopped by what looked like Jungwon’s lawyer from where you were sitting. A visible grin spread on the man’s face, and when your lawyer turned to you, you already knew you wouldn’t be happy with the news.

‘’ No jail? ‘’ you said defeatedly.

He sighed, ‘’ No jail. He just has to pay millions in fines. ‘’

‘’ That’s nothing to a guy like him. ‘’

‘’ At least he and the other guys have been suspended. Are you still going to go to that school? ‘’

You hadn’t thought about that since you yourself got suspended. What you wanted most maybe seemed like something out of a fantasy - to run away to the countryside and finish school there with Soobin, away from the city and the places that only brought forth bad memories.

Your dad would most likely never accept that. But you had considered cutting all ties with him anyway, so it didn’t really matter. If you didn’t live too far out, you could still go and visit your mom every weekend and walk around at the places you actually liked.

‘’ I would suggest you move, miss. ‘’

‘’ Why? ‘’

‘’ Although they have been disciplined and they no longer have the same power they used to because of the company having fallen apart, it doesn’t mean they won’t give up on you. ‘’

‘’ I think they will now. They have lost a lot. ‘’

‘’ Take my advice. I’ll stay in touch, ‘’ he said and then stood up.

You gave him a rather sad smile, but it still carried a lot of gratitude and had more lightness to it than the previous fake ones you had given him in the beginning. You supposed this was as much justice as you and the other victims would get. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

More and more people passed by, unnoticed by you. Remaining glued to the bench you kept thinking over your future. 

*******

6 months later

You shared your thoughts with Soobin about what you wished life after the storm would look like. As always he fought hard to make your wishes come true. He brought you out to his aunt’s house in the countryside and promised you shelter there for as long as you needed.

Going back to the city hadn’t happened many times. Mostly because after you had moved out there, tragedy had struck the peace, disrupting it once again. You almost burst into tears any time you thought of your mom. They had called, telling you that she had passed away. The timing was suspicious, to say the least. Soobin had been there to comfort you after everything; after the confirmation, the funeral, and whenever you felt like your heart was breaking.

But, you knew your mom was at peace now. The crying had become less frequent when you realized this. Free from feeling like a burden on her family, and free from the hold your bullies had over her.

Maybe you could’ve seen it coming. That if you fought back, they’d remove your mom like a piece from a chessboard. 

All in all, you had started to feel happy. You took everything day by day, and gradually it got easier. The stress you had felt from living in the city, constantly harassed and bullied by them, and also under surveillance had disappeared. You felt lighter, looked more radiant. Looking back at it you’d been living in constant survival mode. Therefore it felt a bit weird that you were free now.

You and Soobin were sitting on the train for your first trip into the city in a long time. Summer was fast approaching. As you stopped seeing your bullies, the scars gradually stopped itching. You didn’t care about the stares you’d get when out in public, you freely wore short-sleeved shirts. Soobin was always there to hold your hand or distract you by saying stupid stuff whispered into your ear when he saw them.

And when you turned to him, everyone else disappeared.

*******

*******

taglist; @peaceout97blog-blog, @ayadikreino, @beoms-sugar, @keikeu, @sunghoonnsupremacy, @lilyalone, @sweet-kisses-and-bloody-screams, @eunchaesmileyface, @nunugget, @seunns, @nshmrarki, @huening-ly, @espyluvsyou, @yncel, @loserwithnofriends, @enha-stan, @binchanluvrr, @ariek-divad, @obsessed1with1straykids, @yizhoutv, @taeyongzodiactwinkiri, @w3bqrl, @elleashn, @nuriicata, @yevene, @manasasugarbaby09, @jend3uki

*******

Hey my loves, if you made it this far woww ur crazy bc this is really my longest chapter and written thing on this blog I think I’ve ever done??!! 

Now, this chapter might be confusing or disappointing which is why I’m here to explain it to ease at least some of y’all’s minds (I hope)

First Jake - yes, I did ‘’ revive ‘’ him lol, or decide to not kill him even tho I had planned otherwise, after everyone’s opinions changed. It’s honestly super interesting to see how people’s opinions can change just like that, because of one chapter, one scene and & perspective change, super cool!! Some of you will probably believe he’ll have a full character redemption arc and some still hate him and alwaysa will, never believing a guy like him will change.

Yena, now Yena’s interesting. I always struggled with her character. Do I make her actually betray y/n or not? Do I make her die (bc yes I was very adamant on one of them dying, even Yeonjun was considered, after heroically saving his brother and the girl he liked, he’d die thinking of his friend LMAOO). In the end I settled on her warming up to y/n which I personally found was pretty sweet since before meeting her she was literally a copy of her brother - cold, dark and mean.

Also, at the end I did reveal a pretty big thing abt Sunghoon & Jay. I know the placement is weird and so is the random scene where I bring Jiyun in (maybe?) in all honesty I had forgotten abt her lol and I had also forgotten abt the dirty secrets those two were hiding. That’s why it got crammed in at the end bc I already had my set scenes I wanted to write.

The conclusion might frustrate some, I get that. My simplest explanation is that they were in reality just a bunch of high schoolers. They weren’t some evil masterminds and I think that makes it more realistic. They were spoiled kids who expected their parents to clean up after them every time and thought they were untouchable that’s why the taunted y/n and Soobin by handing them the evidence right in their hands. DUMB !!! In the end though, the punishments they got didn’t make it as ‘’ easy ‘’ as them finding her and the whole thing going down at the end did.

I do believe she got a happy ending even tho it definitely didn’t seem like it with her mom dying and her barely getting any justice lol. But I guess again, it’s a matter of perspective. What she wanted most maybe wasn’t revenge, but freedom that she had always craved. Plus, their jealous assess probably see it as revenge bc she got swept off her feet by Choi Soobin himself.

I love open endings, although this was only a ‘’ semi-open ‘’ ending. Maybe some of you think, like I pitched at the end that they will try to follow her and not give up. Others, would think they’d let her go no matter how painful it’d be - could they perhaps find a new obsession in the city instead?

And also I would say that although my masterlist says ‘’ heavily inspired by ‘’ I only think it ended up being a little inspired by but yeah can’t change it now lol so sorry if u were expecting my girl to pull off such moves like the mc did in the glory.

If you read this far (again) I love you, & even if you didn’t read this whole chapter bc it’s a LOT or you still felt the ending was poopie bc I’m a student who rushes things - thank you, from the bottom of my heart ! I’m excited to see what new projects I will want to do <333

[wistfulwatcher]

do you mind telling me a bit of your writing process?

DAY 1: Have a piece of dialogue shoot through my brain like an arrow while in the shower. Let the scene play out as I rush to finish so I can get to a computer and write it down. Lose half of the conversation as I trip my way down the stairs and over dogs, and commit everything else I can remember while my hair dries stupidly in my head towel and I shiver because I'm wet and nearly naked and sitting in front of a fan I can't spare 2 seconds to turn off. Force myself to stop and go to work. DAY 1, 2 HOURS LATER: Have another half dozen bean bags of dialogue and prose pummel me as I try to be a productive member of society. Jot them down sloppily in my phone notes app. Go back to fill in between the snippets with a rough summary of what needs to occur between points A and B in brackets. Realize I just blew my entire lunch break hunched over my phone. My stomach is growling, I've missed 5 calls.

DAY 1, 8 HOURS LATER: Done with work, open up Google Docs and load my notes app snippets into it. Arrange the snippets into chronological order. Now too tired to actually write, go to sleep.

DAY 2: Get up early. Take the dogs out. Get coffee in my Be The Cat Grant of Whatever You Do special writing mug. Sit down in comfy chair with lots of sunlight. Open new Google Doc and write from the beginning of the fic, mostly ignoring the snippets and cleaning it up from my memory. Get nearly an hour in before work. Plan to continue the streak after that night. DAY 2, THAT NIGHT: Too exhausted. Do not continue streak. Plan to get up early again and lean into early morning energy to write. DAY 3: Oversleep. Dogs demand a loooong morning walk. Special writing mug needs to be washed before I can get my coffee. When finally ready, have 20 minutes before work. Do not get computer opened, no writing occurs.

DAY 4: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 5: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 6: Do not attempt to write. Accept fate that fic will never see the light of day.

DAY 7: Hear a song lyric that reignites The Idea while working. Feel dialogue start to bubble up like boiling water. Spend half of the work day jotting down rough paragraphs into notes app. Do nothing with them later that night.

DAY 8: Wake up energized. Write for an hour and a half, picking up from day 2's progress. Mostly work from memory of snippets to rewrite it clean/better, but occasionally reference the doc.

DAY 9: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 10: Do not attempt to write for the first half of the day. Feel guilty midday. Reread snippets from notes app and think, wow, this sure has potential. Do not do anything about it.

DAY 11: Think about writing. Decide to finally respond to messages building up before writing. Should take a normal person 10 minutes, takes me 4 hours. Open Google Doc at 9pm. Think harder about writing. Do not write. Daydream, wistfully, of how nice it would be to live in a future where the fic is written. Still do not write. Go to sleep feeling like a failure.

DAY 12: Do not write in the morning, but feel guilt-free about it. In the shower, get pummeled with the next piece of The Conversation of the fic. Rush through shower to get to computer and record as much as possible, yet again.

DAY 13: Dogs let out, check. Special writing mug, check. Sunny morning and nice breeze, check. Get 30 minutes of writing in.

DAY 13, LATER: Realize one massive issue with the concept of the fic. Lose five years off of life. Decide the fic is dead. For real, this time.

DAY 14: Writing? Never heard of her. Do dishes. Halfway through load, figure out how to fix the issue. Rush to finish utensils, dry hands, make it to phone to jot down The Fix.

DAY 14, LATER: Open Google Doc. Write for an entire hour. Fic is alive once again!

DAY 15: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 16: Do not attempt to write.

Repeat days 1-16 until fic is 70% complete, at which point hole up in bedroom and ignore everyone and everything until it's done. Proofread it until 3am. Know it's a terrible idea to post exhausted. Do it anyway.