#which will prob be nothing but interesting none the less

[bddybby666]

hopeless at flirting.. i j make eye contact & smile & then get shy & look away

[ambiguouswren]

So nervous to post this & I'm still working out a few things but here's my Reverend Daughter Gideon head canons:

Gideon arrived at Drearburh just like in canon. The Reverend Father and Mother sacrificed 200 children just like canon.

Except this time it didn't yield a Necromantic Harrow. It fails. Gideon, however, unknowingly being the daughter of John at the time, started showed great Necromantic prowess very early on, whereas Harrow showed none. So having no other options and more out of desperation than want, Gideon is officially adopted as the Reverend Daughter and Harrow went into Cav training. Palleamena & Priamhark maybe still unalive themselves & Gideon puppets out of panic. I haven't worked that bit out yet.

Thus, Gideon was shown no love from the Reverend Father and Mother who were now living not just with the shame of sacrificing 200 of the children of the Ninth, but for it being an entire failure. Pushing that displeasure both on Gideon, the child they did not want, and Harrow, the child that represents their greatest failure and possible doom of the House. Gideon and Harrow obviously spend their whole lives taking it out on each other. Harrow funneled that rage into her sword work, wanting to be the best at something, Gideon learned to be a great Necromancer but still very much herself, so shenanigans ensued & people get frustrated with her. The dirty magazines ABSOLUTELY still find their way into her hands. Gideon doesn't WANT to be Reverend Daughter, but feels obligated to because they brought her up. She still desperately wants to be a cohort fighter but any time she tries to train the Nuns would pull her away to go back to Necromancy lessons. Harrow and Gideon still basically loath each other. Harrow angry that Gideon was the person she was supposed to be, & Gideon sour because she didn’t want or ask for any of this and feel reproachful that Harrow is so mad at her for something that’s so horrifically not her fault. Ortus is stuck between all this but is tied to a sense of duty (namely through parental pressures ), but he does like Gideon and I feel like they might kind of be friends? Or at least friendly. Gideon likes listening to his poetry then trying to convince him to make it more sexy. Aiglamine teaches Gideon some sword stuff when there’s a little free time, as the Reverend Daughter is still interested in it and its the only way that she can live out even a little of her dream, but she has to keep it more or less a secret. (Scene: Gideon offers to spar & Harrow just scoffs because she thinks Gideon has never touched a sword in her life. Gideon isn’t QUITE as good as Harrow but they both work up a sweat before Harrow inevitably gets her to the floor, which Gideon makes a very dirty joke about)

Crux hates Gideon and Gideon hates Crux, nothing changes there.

Crux can go touch grass but I appreciate he cares a bit for Nova. So this stays, obviously. Overall I think Gideon’s personality is the same. She still has dirty magazines tucked away, she still works out and has some buffness to her but more for aesthetic then survival like Canon Gideon did. Maybe a bit more lean than large. But she naturally has a bigger build (prob hereditary from Wake). Also she can’t get QUITE as bulky because of how Necromancy was stated to affect the body OR this is an AU and we do what we want because we love a buff Gideon. (or at least I do and this is my HC) I'm sure I'll think of more stuff as time goes by and ultimately this is just my take and all takes are valid. I just love this AU so much. Thank you for reading! Ahhhhhhhh

[ultyso]

So my friend let us come over to try the XVI demo on their PS5.

Overall I’d give it a 6/10. Not something I’d immediately rush to buy a PS5 for. But if I did own a PS5 already, I wouldn’t object to buying the game.

Here’s my thoughts included below. Forewarning this point forwards is spoiler territory:

So played the demo and there are some things I liked and some things that’d prob be better the more I’d get to play. But from just the Demo, it just didn’t really hype me up as much as it did for others. I’m not really into medieval type games, which prob is a major factor. But, I didn’t want this to deter me so tried to give this a fighting chance by going in with an open mind.

For those who may not know, I’ve played many FF. Not every single one out there but to give some info on what I have if it means anything for you: VI, VII series, VIII, IX, X series, XII partly, XIII series, XIV slightly, XV

The first Eikon fight, reminded me of Panzer Dragoon so thought that was kind of neat. Starting the game off with fighting Ifrit just had me thinking of how XV had started with an Ifrit as well. I figured after this fight it would move back to the past afterword, but it didn’t do it as quickly. I did like the whole fight, found it interesting. ^^

The UI is nice and simple. I like how it’s all formatted, easy to pick up and learn. Nothing cluttered.

For gameplay, this is probably the strongest point it has. It feels like an enhanced gameplay of XV, making it much better. I like all the different skills you can acquire (based on what I saw for the Eikon challenge mode I played after.) I honestly like the most how the dodging is in the game. It’s such a simple thing, but idk it just moved so smoothly, I liked it.

Not having to hit any buttons to pick up items was probably the best thing to! Biggest grievance with XV with the pick up/interact and jump being same button was so annoying.

I know everyone said it was super lax but the scene with Bernadictka and Titan dude still made me uncomfortable as hell 😂

I do find the ‘oh we must go and do this important task but first do this random side quest’ so you can learn further fight mechanics, felt a bit wonky and could have flown more seamlessly a different way. Just kinda took me out. I liked Wade he amused me. The marlboro fight was interesting, fairly simple, I liked how they did the QTE events but I felt it dragged on longer than needed to be, like health a little too high. So sometimes the fighting got boring.

I wish the environments were less dull looking. Everything is so grey. I hope this is not so much the further in you go. The only times it looked visually very pretty were the Eikon fights.

As for the characters, I’m not really feeling anyone. honestly a lot just def give generic NPC vibes. None really made me care about them a whole lot. Except Torgal. I loved the furry baby. Clive not really anything omg about him. He’s typical duty bound character. He’s just ok. The dad tho lookin nice 👀👀 well till they killed him off right in front of poor Joshua, poor kid gonna have major trauma. I was sad they killed him off already. This whole scene just like XV. betrayal and killing the dad part. Uhm the wife is an asshole, scumbag I forget her name. Joshua is alright. He’s just trying his best. His voices sounds weird to me sometimes when it gets all cracky, but I can tolerate it. This other dude I forget the name of just looks like Clive with a slight different hair cut. Also wtf my sis wasn’t kidding with her issues with there being no diversity to the designs. Everyone looking like generic white dudes lmao.

The map looks so much like how Stranger of Paradise is. Which made me a little eh. Hope we’ll be able to manually travel more than what was given.

Poor Joshua for getting all beat up by Ifrit like that was so not okay 😤 Poor kid. If anything with Joshua, I just feel bad for the mess this kid has had to go through already.

When I got to the thanks for playing, I was all ‘that’s it?’ So it was engaging enough I wanted to continue playing despite some of the issues I had. Hoping that a lot of what I was meh of will be improved upon later as you’ll get to know characters more and move to new places.

Uhm those were main things I remember. So some good and bad but a lot of things left me lackluster. It is pretty much what I expected I’d feel based on my thoughts from the trailers, they didn’t change much. My main thought was that like Stranger of Paradise, the gameplay would be more engaging than story, which it is too for XVI for me. I personally wouldn’t call this game the pinnacle of Final Fantasy. It doesn’t scream the best of the best, at least just from demo standpoint. Thoughts could change the more that is played beyond.

I’m not super hooked. If I had a PS5 I’d buy the game. It’s not a game that I’d be all “I need to buy a PS5 stat” I can wait it out. It’s overall just an OK game. Of course, these are just my opinions. Everyone else is clearly ok to like it lmao.

[omgrachwrites]

Her Prince - Prince Hal

Pairing: Reader x Prince Hal (The Hollow Crown)

Summary: The man that comes to visit you at your woodland cottage - the man that you’re falling in love with - is a mystery. When you discover what he’s hiding from you, it turns your whole world upside down.

Warnings: fluff, angst, ooc Hal probs, mentions of blood

Words: 2569

Disclaimer: So, I know that none of this would ever happen but I’m a hopeless romantic?? Characters will be ooc probably

A/N: I promise that I will be getting back to my usual fics but I had a really shitty day in work and I had to make my self feel better. The Hollow Crown was one of Tom’s superior looks! Hope you guys enjoy and please let me know what you think, I love you all! xxx

I've been living to see you Dying to see you, but it shouldn't be like this This was unexpected, what do I do now? Could we start again please?

---------------------------------------

The day was swelteringly hot and you were in front of your woodland cottage, tending to your herb garden. You were the best healer in the village and the townspeople ventured out of the safe confines of their stone walls to come and seek an audience with you in your forest cottage. As you were tending to the thorned plants, your hand slipped and you near enough sliced your hand open.

You gasped out into the silent air as thick scarlet blood blossomed on your palm but before you could do much about it, you heard the gallop of horse hooves in the distance, getting closer with every breath you took. Then, he called out to you and your heart fluttered with anticipation.

“Good afternoon, Y/N,” he beamed as his horse came to a stop.

You blushed as you looked at Hal’s handsome face, he was handsome enough to be a Prince with his honey brown curls and sparkling blue eyes, “hello, Hal,” you smiled as you sat on your little stone wall, your legs hanging over the edge, “it’s nice to see that you’re not half dead this time,” you laughed, recalling the first time you met him. He’d been injured and if you’d waited longer to heal him then he’d be dead.

Hal sighed, teasingly as he dismounted from his horse, “must you always mention that every time I come to visit you?”

You laughed as you reached a leg out to lightly kick at his knee, “of course, I’m never going to let you forget it,” you smiled and he rolled his eyes. By the look of his flushed cheeks, he’d been riding a long way today and you thought that he might care for some refreshment, “would you like some water? Or milk and honey, perhaps, to cool you down?”

Hal smiled and opened his mouth to reply but he hesitated when he caught sight of your slashed palm. He tutted and reached out for your hand, running his gentle fingers over the cut, “you’re hurt,” he lifted his concerned eyes to meet yours and you bit your lip as your eyes dropped down to his lips for a split second.

“It’s alright,” you breathed, “it’s just a cut from some thorns.”

“Here,” Hal smiled as he reached into his satchel bag and pulled out some fresh smelling cloth, “I don’t think that my healing skills are quite up to the level of yours, but I always keep some with me, just in case,” he chuckled and wrapped your hand in the bandage.

It was so courteous of him that you couldn’t help but stare at him, flustered and searching for something – anything – to say, “I’ll go and fetch you that glass of water,” you laughed nervously as you turned away, grimacing when his pleasant laughter followed you into the cool interior of your cottage. It was such a relief to be out of that heat, if only for a couple of minutes.

Quickly, you poured him a tankard of water before walking out into the scorching sun again.  Hal gave you a grateful smile as you handed him the water and he drained it in one swallow, gasping as he smacked his lips before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. You had to fight back a giggle.

“By God, I needed that, thank you, Y/N,” he smiled as he sat beside you on the small wall, his leg pressed against yours. Your cheeks flushed at his close proximity.

Over the few months that he had been coming to see you, you had grown to care for him, in fact you were falling in love with him. You wondered who he really was, “have you got an outing planned for tonight? I know that you prefer to collect your ingredients at night,” it was so nice that he’d remembered.

You bit your lip nervously as you tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. You could hardly tell him that you were going to the Royal Palace, Hal had already expressed his distaste for King Henry and the Prince of Wales, you didn’t want him to think any less of you. The King had heard of your skills and he’d invited you to court to speak to you about taking the post of physician when his current one retired. You were very grateful that word of your skills had reached the King’s ears.

“No, no outings tonight,” you felt your cheeks grow hot and the lie tasted bitter on your tongue.

Hal sat on your stone wall with you, keeping you company for a little while longer, and when he took his leave, you sent him off with raspberry tartlets which you had drizzled with honey and baked golden brown. For as long as you lived, you would never forget the way he smiled at you so sweetly as he cupped your cheek, before he brushed his lips against yours, as gentle as a whisper.

When he pulled back to look at your reaction, your heart pounded so loudly in your chest that you were afraid that he’d heard it and you felt pleasant tingles all over your body. When he found no sign of hesitance – you would have to be a fool to reject him – he pulled you closer and kissed you deeper. You stood on your tiptoes to meet his kiss as you allowed your fingers to run through his curls as you kissed him in the peaceful little clearing. Long after Hal had left, your lips still tingled from the memory of his intoxicating kiss.

Later on that evening, you were being escorted down the never-ending hallways by a Palace guard – how people found their way around this castle, you had no idea – you were dressed finely for your audience with the King, a dress from green silk that you’d made yourself. You were so nervous and the guard must have sensed it because he gave you an encouraging smile.

“Everyone has is worrisome before meeting the King,” he chuckled, “the common folk prefer the Prince.”

Your eyebrows shot up in surprise, “they do? I have never met him; will he be at court today?” you asked with interest.

“I think not, he’s been in the tavern often, of late.”

You grimaced to yourself, spending time in the tavern was not wise for the future King but you kept your thoughts to yourself. As you entered the Throne Room and saw the old proud King on his Throne, you wanted to bolt out the way you came in but you forced yourself forwards until you were kneeling at his feet.

“Your Majesty, thank you for seeing me,” you kept your head bowed as was the custom.

“Please, rise my child,” with a small smile, you got to your feet and looked at the King, “Miss Y/N, I have heard great tales of your skills and accomplishments. I believe you’ve healed quite a few soldiers in my army?”

“Yes, Your Majesty, they often come by my cottage, it’s the quickest path to the castle.”

“Quite,” the King nodded, “I thank you for your service, my physician has grown old and his methods are not what they used to be. If you would, return three days from now and we can truly see what you can do.”

A slight sting of annoyance shot through your body but you would never let it show on your face, you would rather show him now but to argue with the King was to wish for death. Before you could accept, the door to the right of you opened and the King sighed as he shook his head, you were too nervous to see who it was.

“Finally, my son, you need to extend your apologies to our guest for being late.”

“My apologies,” a soft distracted voice came to the right of you, the King gave the Prince a sharp look and the Prince of Wales sighed as he walked in front of you, “please accept my apologies, my lady,” when he looked at you, his eyes faltered and his mouth opened in surprise.

Tears sprang to your eyes as you practically felt your heart crack as you stared at Hal – your Hal – he was the Prince? Words couldn’t describe how you felt but if you had to use one word, it would be ‘betrayed.’

Keeping your voice steady, you looked back at the King, “may I have your leave to go, Your Majesty.”

“Of course,” the King inclined his head.

As soon as the King replied, you bowed once more and escaped from the room as quickly as you could without actually running. You heard Hal say something to his father before you heard his quick footsteps follow you, “Y/N!” you shook your head and kept walking, refusing to look back at him, you wouldn’t let him see you cry, “please!” his voice broke and you couldn’t help yourself, you had to stop and look at him.

Well, you didn’t look at him, you kept your eyes on the floor, “Your Majesty,” you mumbled as you saw Hal’s feet walking closer to you.

You felt a warm gentle hand on your chin and you allowed yourself to look at his face, he looked so apologetic and his eyes almost looked wet, “we should talk.”

“As Your Majesty wishes.”

Hal looked sick as he rubbed his thumb against your cheek, “please don’t call me that, nothing’s changed between us.”

“Nothing’s changed?!” your sadness quickly turned to anger and you momentarily forgot where you were, “everything’s changed!  Why didn’t you tell me? By God!” you gasped as you slapped a hand to your forehead, “I’ve been rude to you! And you’re the crowned Prince! I kissed you!”

Hal bit his lip as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to treat me any differently, and technically, I kissed you,” he chuckled.

“Why?” you asked, holding back the tears, “why would you kiss me? Was it for something to laugh about with your noble friends,” your eyes went blurry as a wave of sadness washed over you.

“No, Y/N! Angel, no, I kissed you because I love you!”

Your heart stopped in your chest but it wasn’t from happiness, it was from overwhelming sadness, you would have longed to hear that just a few hours ago but now, you would rather that he didn’t say anything, “you can’t say that,” you shook your head as you backed away from him and Hal’s face fell, causing you to look away as you felt a stab of pain shoot through your heart.

“It doesn’t make it any less true,” he mumbled.

“I have to go,” you sighed as tears slid down your cheeks and ran over your lips, “goodbye, Your Highness,” walking away from him was the hardest thing you had ever done – especially when he was calling after you in that broken voice – but you had no other choice. He was the future King.

A year later, you were in your chambers at the palace, you hadn’t seen Hal since you had said goodbye to him. He’d been staying at his castle in Wales, though it wasn’t far away enough to make you forget about him. It was a particularly rainy day when your apprentice came bursting through the door with a shocked look on his face.

“Y/N! Y/N! Have you heard the news?” he was out of breath from running and it made you laugh.

“Calm down! What news?”

“The Prince is back, he’s in the tavern in the village, the word is that he’s abdicated the Throne for a peasant girl.”

You were so shocked that you dropped the empty beaker you were holding, letting it shatter across the ground, “are you,” you cleared your throat as you tried to gather your thoughts, “are you sure?” when Arthur nodded, you gulped and looked at him nervously. He’d probably abdicated the Throne for a pretty girl that he’d met in Wales but he used to love you and there was a sliver of hope in your chest, you had to go and see for yourself, “can you keep an eye on things here?”

“Yes, but where are you going?” Arthur frowned at you as you grabbed your cloak but you shook your head without another word.

Your riding had got much better while you were staying at the castle and you got to the tavern in a surprisingly short amount of time. You hoped that Hal was still here. As you opened the door to the warm tavern a hushed silence fell over the patrons as they stared at the newcomer. You didn’t have to search far for Hal because he was in the middle of everyone with a pretty blonde woman perched on his lap. His eyes widened as he looked at you, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed. Hal had seemed to become even more beautiful in the year that he’d been away. He looked like an angel.

The woman sneered at you and you realised that he hadn’t abdicated the Throne for you at all, you were such a fool. Offering Hal, a sad smile with tears sparkling in your eyes, you turned to leave, walking out into the cold evening air again. You had barely mounted your horse before you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist from behind and a warm hand came to brush your tears away.

“Why are you crying petal?” he whispered.

You could feel the fissure in your heart widen and your knees almost buckled at the sound of his soft voice, “because you’re you a fool,” you sniffled as you turned to face him, “abdicating the Throne for that woman.”

Hal let out a surprised laugh as he shook his head, “I haven’t abdicated the Throne for her,” he jabbed his thumb in the direction of the tavern, “I’ve abdicated it for you.”

Your heart soared as you gasped, searching his face for any deceit, instead you found nothing but love, “me? Why?”

Hal grinned as he cupped your cheek, “isn’t it clear my dear? Because I love you, I would rather give up my future rule than lose you.”

Tears sprang to your eyes again but for a completely different reason and you rested your hands against Hal’s firm chest, “was your father angry?” you couldn’t believe that this brave handsome man had given up everything for you.

“Furious,” Hal rolled his eyes, “but I don’t want to live without you, I love you, Y/N. I would like nothing more than to live the rest of my days with you by my side.”

You smiled as your fingers curled through his hair as you gazed up at him, “I love you too,” you pulled him into a passionate kiss and at the first touch of his lips, you gasped, it felt like coming home, “I’m going to have to find a new post,” you laughed, you couldn’t go back to the palace now.

Hal only chuckled as he pulled you in for another kiss, for the first time in your life you had no idea what was coming next. However, you couldn’t find it in your heart to care, you had your Prince and that was all that mattered.

--------------------------

@smiithys​

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)

Chapter 6: Evade The Bats, and Beat The Crows

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

The girls are in the old living room setting up clues (that are absolutely... useless) around Gotham. One being a picture Harley and Multimouse took earlier that day.

"They might think to look here after they realize the clues are fake." - Steph

"Then where else would they not think to look?" - Maria

"W.E, I can get you and Harley in without them knowing easily." - Barbara said with a confident smile.

"But they'll have to go incognito... especially you Harley, no offense, but your outfit stands out just a tad." - Steph

"Ehhh, none taken, I'm sure I can tink of somthin' else tuh wear." - Harley

"I can help with that, but I'll need some clothes and some sewing supplies." - Maria said already thinking of what she could make.

Cass gave a nod and headed out of the room, after a few minutes she came back with t-shirts, jackets, sweaters, shorts, jeans, etc. and droped the pile of clothes infront of the group. She then handed Maria a sewing set she got from Alfred.

"Thanks Cass. I'll get to work on making our costumes." - Maria

"Let me help yuh wit' dat hun." - Harley said as she picked up most of the clothes for Maria

"Thanks." Maria

•—–·Let's see the Chaos shall we·–—•

"You never told us she could use magic!" - Red Hood looking under the table

"I wonder if she can infuse magic with coffee..." - Red Robin said looking in the cabinets for the third time.

"Stop looking for coffee!" - Red Hood

"She could've hidden in here." - Red Robin said while crabbing a mug

"I haven't had enough sleep to deal with this." - Selina then walked over and flopped herself on the couch and proceeded to fall asleep on impact.

"Maria get your tiny self back here right now or else!" - Tony

"Or else what? She Knows MAGIC! What else does she know that you haven't told us?!" - Red Hood

"... I never told you becuase it's meant to be a secret!" - Tony

"Oh, so now you agree with keeping things a secret?" - Red Robin grabbing the coffee

"What else can she do Tony." - Batman

"Well... she's great with tech, can kick butt in a LOT of different ways, has magic, and if she wants to, she can find and know where everyone or anyone is, but I think she gets massive headaches from a wide search like that." - Tony

"Anything else?" - Batman

(Tony thinkng of all the tiny gods she has in jewelery, and that she keeps Paris/friends and family safe on a daily basis, and that she is the well known designer MDC...)"No..." - Tony

As ivy was listening to them talk, she continued to search her garden, until one of her plants had a message fo her.

"Hello Ms. Ivy, please don't help Batman and Iron Man find us, we promise we'll be careful." - Maria

"Where are you?" - Ivy asked whispering into the plant.

After a few minutes Ivy got a detailed plan that Maria, Harley and the girls came up with to evade The IronBat group (Maria thought that would be better than ManMan group 'But it's Bat MAN and Iron MAN, so it has tuh be The ManMan group.' was Harleys defence, but Maria won that one.) and Ivy agreed to help as best she could.

•—–· Over to the Miraculous gang ·–—•

Plagg is cackling like there's no tomorrow.

"Guys something must be wrong, Plagg won't stop cackling, he won't even touch the cheese I gave him!!!" - Adrien

"There's no time for that, we need to find out where the hell Maria is!!" - Chloé

"Hahahaha, Ti- heheh Tikk- pffhaaaaaaahaha!!!" - Plagg

"He's trying to form words!" Adrien cradling Plagg in his hands "What is it my friend? Don't do this, you're to young...*sniff * you're to beautiful!"

"Hehehehe Shhhh- hahaha, she- she- haha...heheh- I'm so p-hehe-Proud wahahaha " - Plagg

"Proud?! She?! Where?! Who, is it Maria?!" - Chloé

"Hhhhhhhhahhaaaaaaaaaa" - Plagg

"Oh God he's wheezing!" - Adrien

"Hey guys, Peter and I got the snacks, found out where Maria might- oh kwami." - Alix walking into the room to a zombie looking Chloé, a panicked Adrien and the Kwami of death/bad luck/chaos laughing himself to death.

"Has he finally lost it?" - Peter

"She has become a true cat! hahahahahaaaaa heheheheeeeeee." - Plagg

Everyone in the room but Plagg "Oh fu-"

•—–· Over to the Batfam ·–—•

So everyone is panicking because for the past hour none of them could find Multimouse. Robin is sitting on the couch next to a now fully awake Selina, Red Hood and Nightwing are once again feeding each other the worst possible situation she could be in, Tony may or may not be hyperventilating, Red Robin is drinking coffee, and Batman is as stoic as ever... well on the outside anyway, on the inside, it's a warzone. Ivy is drinking her tea, slightly worried, but also hiding a small smile.

"What if we ask Oracle to try and help us find her?" - Red Robin

"... Right... Yes, ok let's do that... Bats you do it, I need to sit down." - Tony

•—–· Back to the girls ·–—•

The girls moved everything to the Bat-cave so they could set the route they would take, then the Bat-Computer started ringing.

"Hide!" - Steph

"Where, dere's nuttin' tuh hide behind!" - Harley

"Quick under the Bat-Computer." - Barbara

As soon as Harley and Maria hid under the Bat-Computer, Batman and the rest of the Batfam was on video call.

"Hey guys, what do you need?" - Barbara acting like nothing happened

"We need you to search for Maria, she's in a dark gray suit with pink accents, and she's with Harley." - Batman

"Ok, no prob, I'll contact you when I've found something." - and with that Barbara exited the call.

"Should we start heading out?" - Maria

"Yup, and here are your ID badges, don't lose them. I'll give our Batfam fake sightings, and lead them far away, then once you reach W.E I'll slowly start leading them closer to you." - Barbara

"Thanks, keep in touch if they decide to split up." - Maria

"Roger that." - Steph said giving a solute

•—–·–—•

Soon Multimouse and Harley are running over roof tops again, doing tricks, and stopping petty crimes, Barbara is leading the Batfam all over Gotham, and then they got to W.E, after Maria transformed back, they entered the building. Thanks to Babs, they entered without any problems and had free roam for the entire building, with some exceptions like new weapons designs, or the roof. They were hiding in the building for about an hour on the 7th floor when Barbara called in.

"Hey girls, you might want to be careful, I spotted some of Scarecrows goons a few blocks away, they seem to be heading in your direction, I'd say about 6mins tops until they reach W.E. Best to find a good room to stay in, or get out of there." - Barbara

"Thanks fawh de heads up Babs." - Harley

"Ok, we'll try to get out, let us know if we should turn back or not." - Maria

"Got it, and be careful." - Barbara

Maria and Harley then made their way back down, they were taking the stairs, because they figured it would be quicker, once they were on the second floor, they started to calmly make their way through the doors of the stairwell. That's when Scarecrows goons busted in, shouting for everyone to get down, Harley made sure to stay as close to Maria as possible as the goons gathered everyone to a wall. They were told to not move, talk, or do anything to anger them, once everyone was up against the wall, that's when Scarecrow came in. As he entered the room some of the employees started to look very scared, when Maria looked over to Harley, she saw her mouth 'it's ok', afterwards the goons had them all tied up and on the floor sitting down. Scarecrow scanned them before speaking.

"One of you will be testing my newest and most potent fear toxin as of yet. We can do this one out of two ways." He said lifting up two of his needle syringed fingers. "1. You can be a hero, and let yourself be my newest test subject, aka the boring way or 2. I pick whoever I want, aka the slightly less boring way. Now, who wants to go first?"

•—–· Over to Batman ·–—•

The Batfam was running around the other side of Gotham, now without Tony, because someone ( ehem Thor, ehem) was making a giant mess at Avengers Tower, and was fighting Loki... again. It was when they decided to call Oracle that things took another turn.

"Oracle have you foun- " - Batman

"They're at W.E. and Scarecrows there, I can't get in contact with them, and I can't get into the cameras at the moment, I need you to get your butts over there now!" - Oracle

"Wait you were in contact with them?!" - Red Hood

"Not the time! Just get over there before someone gets hurt!" - Oracle

"We're on our way." - Batman

They all then kicked it into high gear and were running to W.E, and out of everyone, Damian seemed to be the most visibly panicked, if him running twice as fast as everyone was any indication. At the speed they were going, they would be there in 20mins or less... hopefully.

•—–· Back to Maria and Harley ·–—•

So while Scarecrow was giving his little speech, Maria whispered into a plant to let Ivy know their situation, she wasn't able to get an answer before she and Harley were pulled away from the crowd.

"And what do we have here? Harley Quinn and a child. How interesting, well then, which one of you would like to test my new fear toxin?" - Scarecrow

"Eh, do me, I bet I got a lot o' trauma and fears from my time wit' Mistuh J. dat yuh would just love tuh see." - Harley

"... As tempting as that sounds I think I'll test it on your little friend here, after all, I know better than to mess with one of the Sirens." - As Scarecrow said that, one of the goons dragged Maria over to him. She didn't panic, she was actually really calm, which worried Harley even more because, remember all that emotional trauma she saw Maria had? Yeah, not the best match for the fear toxin.

As Scarecrow grabbed Maria, she locked eyes with Harley, and gave a brief smile before she felt a sharp jabbing pain in the side of her neck. Her vision went hazy, and from Harleys' point of view, she went a little limp from it.

As Maria started to see again she could hear screams, car alarms going off, and explosion in the distance, when she looked up, she saw them, her friends, her team... her family, they were all there lying infront of her... none of them moving, all of them were lifeless, looking as though turned into a gray husk of what they once were, and beside them were all the Kwamis, and their respective Jewelery, broken and shattered. She felt the tears fall as she looked around. Paris, the once beautiful city of lights, was now a wasteland, everything had a gray tone to it, people, animals, everything that had life... was dead.

And then she heard laughing, a sick disturbing laugh that was all to familiar... Lila. When she turned and saw Vulpina, she felt sick just looking at her.

"You have failed Maria, everyone you knew and loved is gone, all because you weren't here." - Lila

All she felt in that moment... was pure anger, she began to struggle, but somthing was holding her. She kept hearing that stupid laugh, and kept struggling harder and harder.

"You were never good enough, you were meant to always be our everyday Ladybug, but you never were, you never cared for us, and that's why, they're all gone, because you weren't good enough." - Lila

The last four words kept playing over and over in her head, until something clicked, she wasn't in Paris, so how did she get there? The last place she was at... was with Harley, she was in the W.E. building, and had fear toxin injected into her. As she came to that realization, she could hear the laughing fade just a bit, she closed her eyes and focused on finding everyone's souls, when she did, she saw that Scarecrow was right infront of her, a goon next to Harley, and a goon behind her, the other goons had left and were on the first floor. She snapped back when she heard Lilas' voice again.

"You always were stubborn and never accepted the real truth, as class president aren't you supposed to just roll over and do as you're told." - Lila

Maria was done listening to her, and decided to kick Lila in the face (since someone didn't think to tie up her ankles.)

"Just go rott in hell already you lieing fox!" - Maria

Maria didn't get any answer, all she knew was that she hit whatever was really infront of her hard. Maria then heard Lilas' voice morph into a heavier, more distorted voice.

"That's a first, guess I'll have to increase the dosage." - Scarecrow

She then felt another jabbing pain in her neck, all she could do was scream from the pain, her head was spinning, and all she could hear was laughing, sickening laughter that came from both Lila, and now Hawkmoth. One thing Scarecrow didn't account for, was the deep hatred Maria held for both individuals he made her see. Because soon after he gave her more fear toxin she got her footing, pushing back into the goon behind her before using the goons' grib on her to do a half backflip into kicking the guys face in, quickly knocking the goon out, when she stood back up she only saw Hawkmoth, surrounded by her lifeless team and family, she only saw red, and charge right at him. She kept punching and roundhouse kicking him, giving one final charge, ramming into Hawkmoth before she felt weightless. She never heard the panicked scream Harley let out, she never heard the shouts that came from the Batfam just reaching the second floor, before she hit something... something rapped around her holding her from falling any further, causing her to start thrashing around thinking it was Hawkmoth, before seeing he was also grabbed by something. She struggled ignoring the slight pain that went through her harms and legs. She slowly calmed down as she felt her feet touch the ground again, she then saw another Hawkmoth that was now mixed with Lila hug her, she tried to break free, but realized that it wasn't Lila or Hawkmoth... It was calming, and her voice was gentle, it was Ivy. She only heard a few words, that's when she felt something blow on her face, and after a few seconds, she lost conscientiousness.

Harley came sprinting down and was by Ivys' side in less than a minute. Ivy could tell Harley was worried and joined her in hugging a now sleeping Maria.

"I'm sawhry Ives, It all just happened so fast, and she was so awesome at kickin' Cranes @ss, I din't get her out of dere quick enough." - Harley said as she looked Ivy in the eyes, with tears threatening to escape.

"It's alright Harley, none of this is your fault." - Ivy replied comfortingly to Harley

As the two hugged Maria Batman came over.

"We'll take it from here." - Batman

"Hell no. We ain't leavin' her side." - Harley

Batman just let out a sigh, after he dealt with Scarecrow and his goons, Batman, along with his sons, Ivy and Harley, all headed back to the Bat-cave where the other girls and Alfred were waiting.

If anyone noticed Robin looking over to Maria with a concerned look, they just ignored it, and continued their way back home.

•—–·†·–—•

Chapter 6 complete! Hope you'll liked it, and are havin' a fantabulous day, stay safe and rock all those positive vibes. !BUG-OUT! 🐞💮🐞

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜 Tag List 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @animegirlweeb☕ , 2nd Place★: @jumpingjoy82, 3rd Place★: @zalladane, 4th Place★: @jayjayspixiepop, 5th Place★: @arty-shadow-morningstar, 6th Place★: @smol-book-nerd, 7th Place★: @irontimetravelflower, 8th Place★: @fandom-trapped-03, 9th Place★: @meme991001, 10th Place★: @buginetye, 11th Place★: @blackroserelina, 12th Place★: @jessigurl-design, 13th Place★: @adrestar , 14th Place★: @moon5608, 15th Place★: @little-bluestar, 17th Place★: @myazael, 18th Place★: @our-preciousss, 19th Place★: @wolf2118, 20th Place★: @nyx-in-line, 21st Place★: @kking13, 22nd Place★: @lunerlover2024, 23rd Place★: @moonlightstar64, 24th Place★: @corporeal-terrestrial, 25th Place★: @kashlyn, 26th Place★: @tbehartoo, 27th Place★: @heart-charming, 28th Place★: @solangelo252, 29th Place★: @t1dwarrior-of-earth, 30th Place★: @lady-phoenix-of-tardis, @lupagrimm

[kast43]

HOW WOULD THE OBEY ME! DEMON BROS REACT TO MC, WHO IS SCARED OF THUNDERSTORMS?

💋Lucifer💋

•Lucifer took MC out to run some errands

•he made a mental note that MC would look up at the sky often

•asking strange questions about the weather in the Devildom

•maybe MC was interested in what rain was like here?

•mc rushed to get back home, but it was when some distant thunder rolled across the sky when things turned odd.

•MC let out a small yelp, and then ran into the nearest closed door

•which was a closet

•although he would think it was cute, he suddenly realised what was going on

•he went to the closet and opened it to find MC had shoved themselves in the deepest corner of the room

•"MC, is everything alright?" He asked peeking in

•mc had their eyes closed tight and covered their ears

•a louder roll of thunder, MC flinched again

•lucifer frowned at the scene, it dawned on him that MC was scared of thunderstorms.

•he reached out his hand to mc

•"do you trust me?" He asked, mc slowly nodding and taking his hand

•He took MC out of the closet

•he covered Mc's ears tightly and lead them to Lucifer's room

•he set MC down, and then started a record.

•he raised the volume to a pleasing level, and then grabbed blankets.

•draped MC with the warm blankets, then went to sit next to MC.

•the first roll of thunder heard over the music MC flinched and Lucifer reached an arm around MC to bring them to his chest.

•he would stroke MCs hair

•"you should know that nothing will harm you, so long as I am with you"

•MC would be so calm they would fall asleep in Lucifers arms

💰Mammon💰

•Mammon and MC were prob just vibing at the house, ya know...

•A roll of thunder strikes, but Mammon pays no attention to it.

•MC however just froze.

•He noticed, "Oi, what's the matter with you?" Mammon would ask, a bit annoyed as usual.

•MC  tried to act cool, but hearing the thunder getting louder, and the flashing caused them to dive under the table.

•Mammon was big confused, looking under the table.

•"What? Don't tell me your afraid of a little thunder?" He would ask with a grin.

•when he saw MC cowarding under the table, he felt his heart drop, his grin would fade.

•he wanted to help, but didn't know how.

•ya boy just got under the table with MC and sat next ti them.

•"hey! Don't be afraid, with The Great Mammon(tm) beside you NOTHING stands a chance! Not even some silly thunder strikes."

•this would make MC laugh, and Mammon would have an idea

•mammon spent the time telling MC about his wild gambling adventures, how he would escape the 'evil witches', etc.

•by the time  Mammon was done telling his stories it was really late...most likely crashed in Mammons bed.

🎮Leviathan🎮

•Levi just wanted to show off his new purchase

•a figurine from his new guilty pleasure "I Went To The Kitchen To Eat A Snack, And Ate A Prince Who Had Been Turned Into A Sticky Bun. Now I Was Kiddnaped By The Royal Family And Now Am The Crown Prince Of This Dimension and Betrothed To A Beautiful Princess Who Hates Me." [Omg I hated that]

•he sent MC a Text to come to his room ASAP

• MC came pretty quickly, to his surprise.

•The first roll of thunder, Levi just got annoyed

•"It was not suppose to rain today." He complained, as he too does not like thunder storms.

•He turns to MC to see them just crouched down on the floor, ears covered and eyes  closed tight.

•he seems to recall a conversation they had with MC when they were trying to make him feel better about being nervous.

•he felt a pain in his heart, MC told him of their fear of thunder, but never believed  them.

• MC was so brave and strong, how could someone like that be scared of some loud noise?

•first, this boy panics

•It was about the 3rd or 4th roll of thunder that he had an idea

•He took his head phones, connected them to his PC, and started to play his favorite anime.

•he carefully placed the headphones over MC's ears and set them on the bed.

•he took a blanket and covered MC, then sat down and watched the anime with MC.

•he couldn't hear the anime, but he had seen it so many times he had it memorized.

•If the thunder could still be heard, MC got closer to Levi, which he didn't hate but...ya know

📚Satan📚

•He was tutoring MC when it happened, in the main hall.

•basically going over any questions MC had about the subject.

•at the first strike of Thunder, MC lost all focus and just used a book to cover their head.

•it was just a sudden reaction MC had, they knew this was silly, but it felt safe to them.

•Satan took pause, not really sure what brought this on all of a sudden.

•at the second strike, MC was now under the coffee table.

•Satan was smart, so he connected the dots pretty quickly.

•surprised someone like MC would be scared of something so trivial, but understanding none the less.

•he wants to continue studying, but cannot seem to lure MC out from under the table.

•he gets an idea, grabbing the blankets and pillows nearby

•the boy makes a pillow fort around MC

•"Fine, if you won't study up here, then we can study down here..." he says crawling in beside MC.

•brings pillows and blankets under the fort.

•MC was both comfortable and distracted from the thunderstorm

•did not take long before they were listening to audio books and getting cozy

•they both fell asleep cuddled next to each other

•Mammon big jealous

💕Asmodeus💕

•Fear is not an avenue that he often travels

•who could fear anything when an Adonis like him roamed the halls?

•MC stopped responding to his Devilchats, and he was feeling SUPER affectionate today.

•He would have skipped all the way down to MC's room and let himself in

•[all the brothers do this and it makes me heated 😤]

•"MC why are you ignoring me~♡" he would ask, but stop in his tracks when he saw MC in bed, completly covered by blankets and pillows.

•thinking this was a weird way of flirting, he sat on the bed and rubbed MC's back.

•when he felt MC was shaking, and hearing the fear in their tone made him think.

•was not until MC outright admitted they were scared of thunderstorms until Asmo [bless his heart] finally realized

•but, being the avatar of Lust, he had a better idea in mind.

•instead of MC being scared of thunderstorms, he would make them love thunderstorms

•[this is where it gets 🌟spicy🌟 so minors skip ahead]

•Asmo crawled under the blankets and cuddled with MC.

•if MC consented, then he would start kissing every part of MC's body

•which would lead to kissed on the mouth

•which would lead to making out

•which would lead to clothes being removed

•which would lead to....home run!

•Asmo would make it to whenever MC thought of thunderstorms, they would think of him

•which is...one way of handling a fear 🤣

🍔Beelzebub🍔

•it would happen when Beelz and MC were outdone a dinner date

•they both wanted to try this new Devildom all you could eat buffet

•Beelz would be the last to notice the thunderstorm.

•however he would quickly notice the change in MC's whole demeanor.

•Suddenly MC was not hungry and stiffened up.

•Even if he was more focused on eating, he could sense MC was scared...of what he didn't know.

•he wanted to continue eating, but he also didn't want to leave MC vulnerable.

•he decided to go and sit right next to MC.

•He leaned in close to MC

•"What's wrong? Is there someone scaring you? Does the food taste bad?" He asked

• MC wouldn't outright admit it at first

•"do you want to leave?" He asked, getting ready to hop out of the booth

•MC knew how much Beelz was looking forward to this, so they finally admitted that they in fact didn't want to leave, they didn't like thunderstorms

•It took the poor guy a second, but then he smiled ear to ear.

•"Oh, for a second there I thought you were having a horrible time."

• without much thought he took off his jacket and threw it around MC.

•how did his jacket smell like cookies? It was so warm too

• Beelz would throw his free arm around MC, the other was grabbing food

•"Okay, I liked this one...try a bite of this" he would say, now feeding MC tenderly.

•nothing is worse than being scared on an empty stomach!

•MC might even eat too much and start to doze off while Beelz was still nibbling

🥱Belphagor🥱

•imma be honest, he is smarter than he let's on

•there have been past thunderstorms Nd he had noticed MC acting strange at those times

•one night while Mc and Belphie were stargazing, it started to thunderstorm.

•What a way to ruin the mood

•now MC was flustered.

•evennif he was comfy, he got up and helped MC up.

•he would have escorted MC to their special attic space.

• crawled into the bed, and making sure that MC was extra comfortable.

•more pillows, more blankets, more covering and tucking.

•MC only protested when they had become a blanket burrito

•"Belphie, what are you doing?" Mc finally asked chuckling

•"Making you into the ultimate cuddle buddy. It's going to be a long night" he stated, now wrapping his limbs around MC, the blanket burrito

•MC laughed "I can't move!"

•"oh...you wanted to move?" He would ask, only shifting MC to one side to face him now

•"come on, what if I get hot?" Mc asked chuckling

•Belphie looked into MC's eyes

•"then I will happily undress you" he stated cuddling as close as he could "now...do you want to watch some Demontube?"

•knowing this would help MC fall asleep faster

•MC fell asleep peaceful, operation distract and replace worked

[teknicaldifficulties]

perhabs,, early relationship, Paul wanting affection but being anxious and not knowing how to go about it?

Ceej, you understand me and my Paul hcs on a spiritual level, thank you for my rights and an excuse to write soft nonsense. It's uh... It's a little long.

Being in an honest-to-god romantic relationship was taking a bit of re-getting used to for Paul. He hadn't dated anyone since college, and suddenly wham, he's head over heels for a cute, snarky barista who seems to return his affections. It was odd, but no less wonderful, feeling his heart flutter in his chest whenever Emma so much as smiled at him. He hadn't felt this way about someone in damn near a decade, and then this beautiful 5'0 biology student walked into his life, and god, his brain just didn't know how to handle it.

Paul and Emma had started seeing each other around late October, hooking up in the Beanies break room during a Halloween party her boss Nora had thrown. It was mid-December now, a week and a half before Christmas, and things were still going strong between them. Though there had been... something strange on Paul's mind for a few weeks now, something that had never bothered him before in his past relationships.

Paul was a tactile guy with people he liked, something his friends all knew well. He was never sure exactly how he'd rank the five love languages as applied to himself, but touch was definitely his number one. Casual shoulder squeezes and light nudges were common gestures of his among friends, as Bill could easily attest. With romantic partners, this was cranked up a bit. Lots of light kisses to their temple or resting his hand on their back, stuff like that. It was always the easiest way for him to show that he cared. His partners... were never as tactile as him. It was very all give and no take on Paul's end when it came to physical affection, and he hadn't really minded it. At least, he was pretty sure he hadn't...

But now? With Emma? Her touch was something he actively craved. And it's not as if Emma never touched him outside of sex, far from it, she was probably the most physically affectionate partner Paul had ever had. She held his hand, kissed his cheek, cuddled up against him during movie nights, and gave him playful little jabs in the side when he was being a smartass. But she wasn't quite as casually affectionate as Paul was with her, and he couldn't help but wish she was.

And sweet jesus christ, did Paul find it embarrassing. It made him feel like some dopey lovesick teenager whenever he thought about it. Like, what was he supposed to do? Ask her to touch him more often? He'd sound like a total fucking weirdo if he tried to explain it to her. But still, he couldn't help but think about it a lot.

It had been a lazy Sunday evening, the one day of the week when neither half of the couple had work. And of course, they were... taking advantage of their day off, as it were. On Paul's living room couch, no less. They'd just finished up, and Emma had gone off to use his shower and whatnot. After washing up a bit, Paul had promptly put some comfy sleepwear on (because it was December in Michigan and Paul was not one to lounge around in the nude with temperatures like that outside), and was now absentmindedly channel surfing whilst laying on the couch.

Nearly half an hour later, Emma had emerged from the bathroom, hair tied into a braid and clad in a bright red hoodie that Paul recognized as his own. He couldn't help but smile, it was so big on her, and she looked adorable in it.

"Find anything to watch while I was in there?" she asked.

"Hallmark movies, a bunch of stock Christmas faire, and like three separate Harry Potter marathons," Paul replied. "None of which I'm particularly interested in watching, so we might have to retreat to the DVD shelf again."

Emma shrugged. "Hey, fine by me, TV edits are usually garbage fires anyway," she said. She strode over to the other side of the living room, where Paul kept his DVDs, and eyed the shelf. After a minute or two, she plucked a case off the shelf, snickering. "Monty Python: Life of Brian, that's a Christmas movie, right?"

"Absolutely," Paul quipped. "Anything can be a Christmas movie if you stretch the definition enough."

"Good, because I wanna watch Monty Python."

After popping the disk in, she turned back to the couch, and Paul sat up to give her some room. As she sat back down, Paul took in the sight of her. God, she was lovely. And she looked so cozy in his hoodie, it was hard not to find the sight of her absolutely heart-melting. His heart fluttered a bit, he was getting that feeling again. Unfortunately, Paul found himself staring at her instead of the screen for a bit too long, and she took notice.

"Paul?" she piped up, snapping him out of his trance with a befuddled smile. "You good, babe?"

Paul felt his cheeks flush. Had she ever called him "babe" before? "It's, uh... it's nothing," he stammered unconvincingly. "I just zoned out for a bit."

Emma, being the observant person she was, eyed him with skepticism. "You look like you have something on your mind," she noted. "What's up?"

Well, shit. Feeling his face burn hotter, Paul attempted to weasel himself out of this inevitable awkward conversation.

"N-nothing's up, I'm fine!" he tried to assure her, perhaps too defensively to sound convincing.

"That's the voice of a man who definitely has something up," Emma observed. She grabbed the remote, and paused the film before continuing. "Something's bothering you, Paul, I can tell."

"It-it's just..." Paul tried to begin, feeling momentarily reassured by Emma's soft gaze. But when the right words wouldn't come to him, he groaned and buried his flushing face in his hands. God, why was he like this? "Nevermind, it's really stupid, can we just watch the movie, please?"

"Paul, I know stupid, I work at Beanies," Emma retorted playfully, earning a brief chuckle from Paul. "Whatever's bothering you, it can't be any worse than the shit my co-workers complain about on the daily. I promise you I won't laugh."

Paul removed his hands from his face, meeting her gentle gaze once more. "You mean it?"

She nodded. "I'm all ears."

Exhaling a deep breath, Paul took a moment to think of how to word his self-imposed predicament in the least stupid way possible. Probably best to start small.

"Um, y'know how... when we watch movies or whatever together," he began, trying to force himself to talk above a whisper. "You'll like, lean against my chest, and I'll wrap my arms around you and play with your hair and all that?"

Emma nodded, looking somewhat confused. "Yeah...?"

"Do you think we could... do that the other way around this time?"

There was a brief moment of silence, and Paul was pretty sure his face had turned a shade of red that had only ever been seen by shrimp before. Jesus, that must've sounded so stupid.

"That's all?" Emma asked.

Yep, there it was. Paul looked down at his lap again, embarrassed beyond belief. "Basically, yeah..." he chuckled despite himself. "I know, I know, it's really dumb, and I probably got you all worried for nothing-"

"Whoa, whoa, Paul, slow down!" Emma cut him off, reaching out to put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. She smiled at him softly. "I mean, sure! If that's what you want, we can do it!"

Paul took another deep breath. "Really?"

"Yeah!" Emma replied. She leaned back on the arm of the couch, and opened her arms. "Come on, bring it in."

Still nervous and flustered, Paul slowly eased himself against Emma, resting his head against her chest. He could feel her heartbeat, even through the thick fabric of the hoodie. Emma rested one hand on his back, and began to thread her fingers through his hair, just like he would do with her. Paul felt a chill go down his spine. God, he forgot how much he loved having his hair stroked. He wrapped his arms around her torso, face still flushing like nobody's business.

"How's that?" Emma asked, undoubtedly noticing the ridiculous smile that had forced itself onto his face.

"Wonderful..." he sighed, finally beginning to calm down a bit. "Thanks, Emma."

"No prob," Emma snickered, still stroking his hair. "But before we un-pause the movie, can I ask why it was such an ordeal for you to ask me about this?"

"It's kinda hard to articulate," Paul explained, adjusting himself so that he wasn't muffled by the hoodie. "My, um... my past partners weren't really the, uh... the affectionate kinda types, y'know? So it just kinda felt weird to ask you to... do this... I guess..."

"...Well," Emma began after a moment's pause. "I'm not your past partners, so I'd be more than happy to do this more often."

"You would?" Paul inquired hopefully.

"If it makes you feel as loved as it makes me feel," Emma said, rubbing a calming circle between his shoulder blades with her thumb. "Then I'll do it anytime."

Paul could've melted right then and there. He was loved... In a somewhat indirect way, Emma said she loved him. Perhaps now was the time...

"Thanks again, Em," he said, slightly choked up. He craned his neck a bit to press a kiss to her neck. "I, um... I love you."

Emma briefly paused in her stroking of his hair, only to resume moments later, and press a kiss to his forehead.

"I... I love you too, Paul."

[jinxfirebolt18902]

I licked it so it’s mine - JJ Maybank Imagine

Words: 1.818

Warnings: none?

Pairing: JJ Maybank x female!reader

A/N: I got this idea from a tumblr pic that read the title in a neon light sign. English isn’t my mother tongue so prob syntax mistakes AND F**** ENGLISH PREPOSITIONS other than that I love y’all, hope you enjoy.

—Okay sweetie, go have a good day and make new friends! —She heard her mom telling her as she gently pushed her by her shoulders towards the group of little girls and boys near the teacher. She took a few steps lacking confidence, not sure she wanted to actually be a part of the class. Minutes later a blonde boy with a face that already screamed ‘trouble’ despite the young age furrowed his eyebrows at her new face. He got closer and observed her attentively making her a little uncomfortable. Matching his personality, she furrowed her brows as well and asked rudely “what?!”

The boy processed the uncommon attitude coming from a girl and smiled at the change, appreciating the feisty confrontation in contrast with the so common cries or runaways of the other little girls he used to annoy. From then on they became inseparable and her mother always invited him over to play. Their play dates often involved fights, stolen toys and ice cream. As time passed, they grew out of toys but not out of ice creams, and they kept going to the small store that sells popsicles and doing their routine: buy the popsicle, go to the dock in front of the store and sit with their feet hanging as they ate the ice cream.

One of the many times, they were nine years old and just as she was about to give her popsicle the first lick he beat her to it and she whined immediately.

—JJ! —he laughed real hard and took it from her hands, provoking his best friend to become even more angrier.

—Sorry —he shrugged his shoulders innocently and then looked at the frozen candy —But I licked it so it’s mine now.

She punched him on the right shoulder and before she stood up and got away, he handed her his still packaged popsicle with a smile. She sent him another glare before sitting down again and not talking to him for the next 5 minutes.

—C’moooon! You can’t ignore me foreverrrr —he dragged some syllables of his words as he spoke close to her just to annoy her more.

—You’re disgusting JJ.

He smiled winningly at his victory. —But you love me anyways.

Years went by, their friendship grew and their group too, with the addition of John B, and years later Pope’s and Kiara’s. After Kie finished her shift at The Wreck, Pope and JJ were done with the groceries deliveries for the Kooks and John B and she were done at the Cameron’s, each with their different tasks, the crew had agreed on meeting at The Chateau to relax and drink some cheap beers.

John B was stargazing with a nostalgic look on his face; Kie was strumming her ukelele; Pope was sitting on an old foldable beach chair while she and JJ were swinging on the big hammock, beers of can in their hands. She was struggling to open hers as she tried to avoid breaking her nails on the process. She pouted as she extended her arm holding the can to the blonde. He took it and opened it easily but before handing it back he made sure she was still looking at him and carefully dug the tip of his tongue into the little hole, earning a protest from her.

—JJ!

He smirked and enjoyed the reaction he was getting from her. —What?!

—It was my beer!!

He let out a deep laugh as his head fell backwards. —You know the rules, I licked it, so…

Their friends laughed as they nodded their heads at JJ’s passion for teasing her.

Months later, summer days began and holidays welcomed free time and Tourons in Outer Banks. New faces, new adventures, new hook ups. The gang had organized one of the very famous keggers at the Boneyard. Music resonated from someone’s speaker, 5 bonfires had small groups of teenagers of all ages sitting around talking and drinking while larger groups were dancing around the beach. She and Kie were at different fires chatting with Tourons while Pope and John B made sure everyone got their refill. JJ being JJ was sweet talking a brunette into his bed at The Chateau. So far, nothing was out of the ordinary. They were all having a good time. Things got awkward the next day, when the crew woke up and saw JJ’s brunette still there, showing no intentions of leaving. She and Kie had passed out on the pull out couch while Pope slept on the other couch but they all looked a bit shocked, and uncomfortable, at the intruder walking around the kitchen as if she belonged there with them. JJ came out of his room minutes later and got his friends curious stares for breakfast. He shrugged his shoulders and twitched the corners of his lips indicating an “I-have-no-clue-why-she’s-still-here” expression when the girl couldn’t see.

In the afternoon, the intruder announced she’d go back to her family and take a shower but also planned to meet at The Wreck for dinner. Once she left the females of the group scoffed at her.

—Dude, she stuck with us like she’s part of the Pogues, what the fuck?! —Kie complained at no one in particular, but sent JJ a quick glare.

—You gotta fix this. —She pointed her index finger into her best friend’s chest. —There is no way I’m having dinner with her.

After everyone had gone back to their place and taken a shower, shared some family time and run some errands, the Pogues agreed to get together after dinner and go for some ice cream.

—Which flavour did you ask for Kie? —she asked as she licked her cookies and cream ice cream before it dripped on her clothes and hands. Kie gave her a funny look and answered.

—Watermelon, it’s really good actually. Sweet and refreshing.

The boys came walking a few steps behind them as they pushed each other like little kids. The girls rolled their eyes but stopped on their tracks as they heard a voice calling for them. Well more specifically, for the blonde surfer and their leader.

—JJ! John B! —the same brunette they were trying to avoid rushed down to the docks they were standing on.

—Hey there… —John B answered, not wanting to be rude.

Once again, the intruder stuck to the group of friends and hung out for a few hours, constantly trying to flirt with JJ. The brunette playfully hit him whenever he teased her, gently grabbed his biceps when they were sitting down on the wooden dock and tried to get him alone by walking slower than the group, her arms circling around his waist. JJ wasn’t used to his hook ups sticking to him like this, he usually made it clear he was up for a one night stand only but this one didn’t want to give him up just yet.

The brunette had also caught interest in the intense relationship between him and his best friend. The intruder wanted to have JJ’s complete attention but his friend was kind of getting in the way of that. As a girl, she sensed his friend was purposely cock blocking him, which started a silent and very subtle war between them.

The brunette laughed at JJ’s joke and got impossibly closer to him, resting her light weight on his chest. She rolled her eyes and made a signal to Kie to make her look at the intruder and then faked a vomit earning a laugh from Kie. John B and Pope furrowed their eyebrows at Kiara’s laugh, confused at why she was laughing. Kie was the only one who could see her little act.

Moments later they decided to go around the docks and throw some rocks into the water. John B felt a bit more comfortable now and teased the brunette by trying to splash her with the rocks he threw. That was the first time through the night that she had gotten away from JJ and she wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to hit back.

She got closer to her best friend and challenged him with just a look. He rolled his eyes as he smirked, knowing he was in trouble.

—Get her off our backs dude. I wanna spend time with my friends, not her! —she whispered urgently looking up at his eyes as he was taller than her.

—What do you want me to do? Tell her ‘hey me and my friends want to be alone, do you mind?’—he mocked trying to make his point clear but she was having none of it. —Yep, that sounds perfect —she smiled and taped his chest as if the whole matter was solved. He raised an eyebrow and focused his eyes on hers. A second later he had a dirty smirk on his features, then it was her turn to quirk an eyebrow. —What?

—Aren’t you jealous, are you? —his smile grew wider as her scowl deepened. He was quick to snake his arms around her middle and pull her close. —Don’t touch me. Let me go, you’re an asshole. —He pouted and cooed her. —Aww c’mon baby don’t be mad I’m not giving you attention, you know I’m yours. —she just rolled her eyes and sighed deeply as Kie laughed near them, enjoying the whole show.

When she heard too much silence, or the lack of an annoying giggle, in the back, she caught a glance from the corner of her eye and saw John B and the brunette looking at them while Pope told something about dead bodies as he drew patterns in the sand with a stick he had found.

—Careful sis, remember if you play with fire, you get burnt. —John B spoke to her in a mocking tone. The rest, except for the Touron, began laughing.

She takes her chance as JJ’s face is not that far from hers and a wicked smile painted itself on her face before implementing her idea. In less than a second she had stuck her tongue out and slid it from under his jaw up to his bottom lip making the boy freeze and set his blue orbits on her. Her eyes were already on his, shining with playfulness. She was having so much fun having her way. The laughs around her turned into gasps.

She then turned to the other girl and spoke mockingly —I licked it, so it’s mine. —the girl’s jaw fell and she winked at the blonde before walking to Kie and throwing her arm over her curly haired friend, who was wearing an incredulous expression.

—Oh my God, I can’t believe you just did that! —both began to laugh as they walked back to the van and hopefully they would all drive back to The Chateau and spend a real night of friends with no intruders.

[blorbosexterminator]

Do you think the new heist with an almost totally new team would have worked? Only Sergio, Tokyo from the old team and Rio, after they rescued him. IDK about Raquel, she also felt out of place for most time. I liked Monica and Denver's arc, but they had nothing to do with the plan.

That is a really interesting question. I think it depends on what our definition of 'worked' here is. As in, the audience would have rejected it immediately, because, I think, it was never truly about the heist itself but the characters to them. Renewing the show only for them not get the characters back would have felt like a betrayel to the whole international audience, who grew attached to the characters and as a result starting seeing them as 'a true found family'. Which, if we're being completely honest, was never truly there in Part 1, sure some members grow close to each other and there were some natural comradeship, but it was only that.

But aside from that, if we're taking away the audience element and seeing 'worked' as worked on its own right, I honestly think it would. If, for example, the showrunners had played it as two-parts anthology where the only stables are the main duo El Professor and Tokyo, I think there is a chance it could have been stronger than what we got.

Like make no mistake, I love our characters. I especially love Denver and Monica and I don't at all dislike the arc we got for them. All things considered and compared to the rest of them (Nairobi and Helsinki, for example) they *at least* had a theme, a clumsy story, yes, but a story that is completely theirs and fits with them. But even in this case, it wasn't necessary, their story in part 1 wasn't unfinished. And like the rest of the banda whom I like a lot, as you say, they had nothing to do with the plan. No one except Sergio and Martín did. And Tokyo for Río's case. Which DID make the show weaker because they spent a lot of time trying to justify it both to themselves and the audience. No ond had much of a personal stake in. This "war" that they fought, they fought for what? Denver said the most truthful thing in the beginning lmfao. What did he have to do with Rio? Why should he put his family at risk for him? What was Helsinki doing there, who was eventually used only as a prob for Martín? What did Nairobi has here, couldn't she get her adrenaline in a less suicidal mannar? None of their skills was even necessary at all for this particular heist, unlike the first one, where each character was tailor-made for their role. (Even Raquel, as you say, has really been out of place a lot. It does make a mucky factor, because they would have to come up with good narrative reasons why Serquel aren't together and all. But it still remains the fact that the writers didn't know what to do with her for most of the time. Something that could be said on more characters as well)

Now, if we do imagine a La Casa de Papel: Part 2 that has the Gold Heist in focus and makes up a completely new cast. (Honestly, there could have been different ways to pick up to the second part (with still having Tokyo, as she's the literal main character lmfao) other than the Rio plot. But even if we do leave the Rio thing as it is.)

Alongside Marseille and Bogota, we get around 4 other new characters for the banda, and the show fully focuses on all of them, we get to see them in flashbacks with Andrés and Martín as they were chosen by the duo for their plan back then, people who personally believed in it, had different, diverse personal connection to the plans or to its makers, people who were in mind for its design and who are just, much better for the roles lmfao. There's really not a lack of very current and relevant effects of the Spanish colonialism/imperialism (or Europe as a whole lmfao, since part 2 flirted with the bank heist being a huge problem for the EU as a whole.)

We could have even had Rafael starting from season three. Because mind you, Rafael's conception isn't horrible in its own right, it was just badly excuted and unacceptable in the last season. But if he'd been there from the start, and we had a whole first season getting us into his head, fleshing him and his relationship with his father out, and bit by bit we got relevant history through flashbacks until he was fully accepted as a character, then gave him the 'inner spy' arc, it would have been good. We'd have characters who all truly wanted something from the plan.

Obviously, the show pretty much cared for Berlin more than all the other characters. The plan was only truly relevant to him, Martín, and Sergio. And I do think this led to some lack of internal coherence in the second part; the show was dividedly strained between that and making the rest of the banda relevant. There is a lack of, what do you call it....neatness in the second part. It just wasn't focused. It was too many scattered stories and storylines, not all relevant, in one. With a new banda, all neatly and relevantly written for the new heist, it would have been more focused, everyone made part of the whole, there would have been a focused theme that actually felt true, was developed through all the characters. It would have been fresh too—no need to bleed characters dry for more stories when they have already had their stories told. Everything else could have fresh, new, exciting, but still thematically (and better this time) related to the theme of resistance the first part set. As @spiny-norman said, the imperialism theme could have done really well being one of the most important narrative mirrors and cohesion factors to the part 1.

Lastly, I also think it might have more emotional authenticity. The second part was way too sentimental from the start, acting all like the banda had always been one big happy family where that definitely wasn't the terms we left them on at the end of part 1 lmfao. And sentimentality is the lack of emotional authenticity.

[charmspoint]

Beauty of Jujutsu Kaisen women

A very long and gay rant

We all by now know how well Jujustu Kaisen treats it’s women, especially when compared to it’s contemporaries which I won’t mention by name cuz I hate pitting shows against each other but they flashed in your head didn’t they. Jujutsu Kaisen women are some of the most well rounded female characters I’ve seen in shonen for a good while. I often end up disappointed in shonen girls because they are made with cool ideas and massive potential and usually shoved aside in support of the boys in their respective stories. How many times did you wonder ‘why wasn’t this female character included in this mission, her power would be perfect for it’ or ‘why did all the male characters get intense emotional arcs and bloody fights while the girls stood aside and didn’t even get a scrape on them’ or for me the most frequent ‘why does this woman have to have her whole chest out and barely a silver of clothes on to be confident in her body’. Not to say that women who are confident in themselves can’t dress however they want, I’m a rabid supporter of dress in what feels most like you. But I’ll always remember the recap episode of my favorite anime of all time, presented by a female character who was usually buttoned up to the throat. And the recap episode had her going ‘i decided to be confident in my body!!’ and putting on what essentially was a swimsuit. And the thing is I never once got the impression that this character was uncomfortable with her body. She simply dressed how she dressed because it suited her and suited her personality. She always appeared confident to me, highly intellectual, always the calm presence in the cast and the one who worked the hardest and had the best understanding of the situation. And this was in the show I liked and who, aside from that recap episode, had great writing for their female characters. But there are many other shows who couldn’t excuse this with ‘well its just a one time gag’ because the whole confidence of their female characters really consists of them looking as sexy as possible. And while that is one kind of confidence, it does hurt a bit to think this is presented as the only way a woman can be confident in her body, only if she bares it to the world.

And that really brings me to jjk and how goddamn beautiful every female character is while none of them are used for fanservice but all of them are very confident in who they are and what they stand for. I always felt this way about the female characters of jjk but it really struck me with the revel of Maki’s new design and how feral the internet went over it.

Not to be gay on main but god she’s gorgeous.

And it really struck me how traditionally unfeminine she looks. Her hair’s been cut short, her skirt replaced with pants, very prominent scaring on her face, which I’ll talk about in a bit. I feel like most shonen artists would never dare to hurt their female characters in such a way that it left such a big mark on them, something that can’t be hidden away and something that is openly stated won’t heal over. But the confidence she carries herself with, the core strength of Maki that survived the attack when the man who believed himself better than her didn’t, THE OUTFIT, THE BELT, THE CAPE AAA. It makes her look powerful, it makes her look confident, it makes her look as someone who survives and keeps pushing forward no matter what and that’s what makes her look so badass and so gorgeous that both my tumblr and twitter were flooded with Maki art barely an hour after the chapter dropped. It just feels so so powerful to me that Gege added to Maki’s power and badassery by putting more clothes on her instead of stripping her down. He’s just clowning on every single artists who thinks that making women hot means putting them in bikinis' like son this is what peak design looks like.

This is not even mentioning other female characters like Nobara who we just saw in the last ep and who’s nothing if not textbook definition of self assured and confident. 

I love Nobara so much she’s allowed to be both feminin and badass. Remember how important it was to her to get a cute tracksuit to train in? That’s me, like that’s literally ‘I can’t do this thing if I don’t look cute’ mentality that I have. She’s allowed to care about clothes, she’s allowed to like shopping and looking cute and pretty and she’s never once made to feel like her interests somehow make her less or that she needs to give em up to be a badass. She’s never made to be that ‘all girls care about are clothes and accessories’ stereotype. And her love for fashion and looking pretty never translates into dressing reveling. I love Nobara’s style.

These are pretty clothes!!! They are pretty while also being somewhat spunky and playful. They are loose but still flattering to her figure and her general color scheme. They are Nobara! Idk it’s just really nice to see a female character interested in fashion and with a distinct fashion sense that isn’t based on putting on as little clothes as possible. Especially one that isn’t forced to then keep that beautiful look no matter what, never getting a scratch on her face. It’s so nice!

Like even Yuki Tsukumo who’d I’d probs label as Jujutsu Kaisen’s most ‘proud to be hot’ character looks like this.

Look at the way she struts, this woman knows she’s a smoke show and she owns it. In any other series this woman’s tits would be spilling out of that v neck and her legs would be goddamn anywhere. But look at her she looks like such a fuckin lesbian I’m sorry I can’t describe it any other way. The biker jacket, the mesh v neck, I can’t remember what the top she wears in the last pic is called but it’s good, the goddamn fuckin sleeveless turtle neck, her MIND. She’s obviously very confident in the way she looks and you can read that out of her stance and that’s all that’s needed. Her clothes or lack of thereof aren’t meant to signify that she’s confident cuz her body language already does that. Instead, her clothes tell us about her tastes and therefor more about her.

I’m gonna bring this to the end cuz now it’s just turning into gay rambling and I’ve lost all point besides ‘girls pretty’ but I also wanted to say a word about scars. As I said in a lot of shonen I watch girls aren’t allowed to participate in as intense of fights as guys and they especially aren’t allowed to gain any serious scaring DOUBLE ESPECIALLY on their face. Why? Because you don’t want to disfigure some nerds precious waifu now don’t you. JJK gives no fucks here, it looks you in the face and says ‘your waifu is in a nightmare situation she will get fucked up just as everyone else.’ We see this with Maki’s burn scars being clearly stated to be unhealable but even before with Utahime who is immediately introduced with very prominent facial scaring. 

And hopefully we will see it with Nobara too cuz like...

And I absolutely refuse to believe she’s dead ;-; she’s gonna come back n have a badass facial scar guys I swear.

Anyway to sum up

JJK women: very good

Me: very gay

[ac-liveblogs]

Chalk prince anon. Tbh I was disappointed when the event ended w/o anything solid to go w the crumbs, but a genshin friend pointed out the event was for festering desire, and albedo would probs progress over reruns or character quests. It makes sense to me, but it's asking A LOT for players to wait months or years for the characters to develop. Maybe the true winners are genshin players who pick it up in a decade when the story is all written and go through it cohesively all at once.

Hi again!

The... issue with "it was a festering desire event, not an Albedo event" is that a) this was Albedo's introductory event after being hyped in character dialogue since launch and they didn't do anything interesting with him (his first chapter was tacked on the front, c'mon), b) a sword is less interesting than a character and c) they didn't even do anything interesting with the sword! You get warned about how bad the sword's vibes are and that's why Only You can wield it, and that's it. No bad juju. The sword's bad vibes are just kinda there, hanging. Nothing happens with them.

Sword doesn't get stolen, doesn't possess anyone, doesn't resonate with the dragon heart and make something exciting happen, zip, nada. You just get the sword and that's it. Gratz on the sword. Nothing happened with it, but maybe it will eventually- you get the drift.

And honestly, I'd be fine with characters developing over the course of chapters events if we got them with any kind of regularity, but we don't. Like, we've had the core Mondstadt cast for a whole year now and none of them have developed or done anything interesting. In fact, we haven't learnt any of their backstories outside of their profile infodump, and it's not like any of them contribute much to the story anyway!

Kaeya and Diluc have been snarking at each other for a year and if you haven't read Kaeya's backstory the only info you have as to why is "Diluc sold... his/their father's house...? Are they. Related. (?) What happened to Diluc's dad?" Meanwhile, Mihoyo plans to keep adding new regions and characters, which will reduce the opportunities to return back to Mond and Liyue's casts because we have more stuff to get through....

And... ugh, I don't even think the people that will pick up Genshin in 10 years are going to win. Like, the reason Xiao seems to like you so much was because of Lantern Rite, but that was a limited event that isn't even in the game's archives. Since apparently the devs aren't interested in reruns, archival players may never get that. Ditto the Durin lore.

[do-what-the-knight-tells-you]

Farewell Wanderlust and Gender: an Incomplete Analysis

Okay a thing I really dig in Farewell Wanderlust is this section that Joey sings:

I’m the face that stares back when the screen goes to black

When your mum says ‘you look healthy’ but you know she means you got fat

I’m the tales that the guests will applaud and believe

I’m the child that you just didn’t have time to conceive

I promise you I’m not broken

I promise you there’s more

More to come, more to reach for, more to hurl at the door

Goodbye to all my darkness, there’s nothing here but light

Adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night

This here isn’t make up, it’s a porcelain tomb

This here is not singing, I’m just screaming in tune

And I think partly it's because these are not necessarily sentiments you often hear from cis men? Which, I know, he starts his part singing "she said", so he's clearly meaning to take up the (same?) female role from the earlier part of the song, but it's still a voice we read as masculine doing the part, we still know it's Joey... And if it was just the makeup line, like, okay, some men wear makeup, esp performers/actors etc.

And the comment about your mom noticing your weight, yeah, definitely men get that shit too... But we're starting to stray into territory that is more familiar, or at least more familiarly portrayed, as being shit cis women have to deal with.

But him practically yelling, or growling, in frustration on

the child that you just didn't have time to conceive

followed Immediately by

I promise you, I'm not broken, I promise you, there's more. More to come. More to reach for..."

Again, I am sure there are cis men who get nagged and shamed for not reproducing, but that sentiment, the way it's phrased, followed by "I'm not broken" just reeks of every cis woman who ever dared to do something other than have kids in her early-mid 20s, in a family like that. Whether for career/financial reasons, or because she wanted kids, but wouldn't settle for less than a really compatible partner and hadn’t happened to meet one yet, or Literally Any Reason and she's at that family get together and all the fucking aunties are twittering away about how she's running out of time, wasting her life/opportunity for family, not filling the role she ought, what's wrong with her? And whether she wants kids eventually, and Really just hasn't had time/reached that point yet, or she Doesn't, and this Is The Plan, Fuck You, I Am Not Broken, maybe this Is How I Want It and it's NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS what my life looks like... !!!

And so to hear a voice we perceive as male express those sentiments, that frustration, it's deeply different and satisfying in a way that is distinct from if Madeline were singing those lines. Those things would still be true, the lines are I think technically still coming from the same character...

But honestly, for me, that switch, him delivering that section in particular, gives me, personally, Big Trans Vibes.

So long to the person you begged me to be

S/He’s down. S/He’s dead.

Now take a long look at what you’ve done to me?

The singer doesn't have to be FtM necessarily, plenty of room for a non-binary reading, and plenty of just general Queer sentiment (the concept of "queer time" comes to mind here-- in brief, the idea that for lots of folk under that umbrella, because it often takes them longer to sort their personal desires/presentations/identities out than it does more cis/het/allo folks, they often experience a 5-10 year [varies significantly, I'm pulling those numbers out of thin air and personal experience] "delay" in hitting life stages that said cis/het/allo folk would. Steve and Melissa might be high school sweethearts, or meet in college, and get hitched and be having kids in their 20s, But Skylar, say, didn't start dating dudes as a dude until he was 25, so if it takes him five or more years to date around (and around a smaller pool, probs) and find a good partner, he won't be ready to start working on kids until at least his early thirties, and depending on the ways in which his and his partner's reproductive situation are or are not compatible for the Making of Children, it can take them even longer to unlock the Nuclear Family skin-- assuming that's even something they are interested in! Life stages at really different ages; queer time).

So yeah, it was really easy for me to drop a trans lens on this one: he's at this gathering, a wedding or whatever, and maybe he's newly out presenting as male, or maybe he's been this way, been presenting this way, for a goddamn decade, and that does not fucking stop the people who continue to approach him as though he was still the girl they thought they knew. And so he's still getting all the misogynist bulshit, the hetero/cisnormative expectation that “she, oh my goodness oops, *giggle* he” really would be happy if she he would just give up all the queer stuff, or career stuff, and maybe put a little more care into her his appearance, and then she he would be able to find a husband already and get down to the respectable business of producing and raising children!

And maybe he wants kids, he literally just hasn't had time between capitalism and going through a second effing puberty, what do you want Linda, I'm not broken, I am absolutely the person I am supposed to be and I have So Much Time and future in front of me still precisely because of how shit the last few years have been, how hard I've had to work, how bold I've had to be. Have you ever completely up-ended your life and risked burning every bridge you've ever known in order to be the healthiest/happiest version of yourself in your control? No? Then Fuck. Off. Linda. And farewell.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[the-messenger-hawk]

Character ask: Ozai or Ursa

(I was at work all day, and finally got the chance to see this! Hey, why not both?)

Ozai

Sexuality Headcanon: He’s Bi. (Bet you didn’t see that coming.) Kinda. Ozai’s model of attraction is pretty ambivalent to gender, and he has such overwhelmingly high standards of needing partners that he thinks are ‘worthy’, that to see him take an interest in anyone is rare enough, male or female. Let alone act on it. Quite frankly, I think that if nothing about Ursa was different besides her gender, he’d still be willing to work with her the same. (He’d still get pushed into taking a bride for child-having reasons anyways.)

Though Ozai is sensitive to his image and doesn’t like the idea of the noble rumor mill knowing about his sexual/romantic interests and spreading that around (also, Iroh has a huge reputation as a heart-breaker, and Ozai will go though through inordinate lengths in order to not be like his brother).

Gender Headcanon: Male, very masc. 

A ship I have with said character: There’s the obvious Urzai that I’ve posted about before. There’s the role-swap au with him & Kya, and she’s able to juggle his issues pretty well. I’m also partial to poly-ship with the four fire and water parents (honestly, if there’s any other adult who could get him to pull his head out of his ass, it would probably be Hakoda).

A BROTP I have with said character: Oh god  he has none. I think there was a one-sided one on Zhao’s side when they were younger, but he’s a brown-noser at heart, and Ozai got bored of him and moved on.

(If JJE counts, then probs Sokka, but haha...)

A NOTP I have with said character: Most of the ones not addressed above tbh, there aren’t that many good options for him. 

A random headcanon: Ozai is a very talented artist, whose skill in painting and calligraphy used to far outstrip his firebending in youth, up until he decided it wasn’t useful to rising above his station and pulled back on it. 

General Opinion over said character: He’s an interesting character with a lot of potential for character explanation. In a fandom that is severely lacking in seeing him in a nuanced way, I feel its important to remember this. Also, the most powerful firebender in the world, which is just amazing to see. 

----------------------------------------

Ursa

Sexuality Headcanon: Actually straight. Ursa has a very traditional, straight-and-narrow viewpoint on marriage,and social contracts, having accepted her marriageable status as a fact of life early. While mostly calm and not prone to arrogance, she does hold some pride for her bloodline, and knows the Fire Nation would have to choice someone of high station for her. Which they did. 

Gender Headcanon: Female. Traditional. She may be sharp and smart, but Ura is very much the ideal “proper lady.”

A ship I have with said character: I only really actively ship her with Ozai tbh. (unless its the above-mentioned 4-way)

A BROTP I have with said character: Urgh, I don’t really have one

A NOTP I have with said character: I wouldn't say its a notp exactly, but I more or less subconsciously wiped Ikem from my brain because of how one-note and uninteresting he is. (I’ve also seen her shipped with Iroh in affair before, and et me tell you, that would make me scared for Azula.)

A random headcanon: Since Ozai’s preferred state is “bull in china shop,” Ursa makes up for his failures with tact with her political savvy. She’s very good at negotiating and getting what she wants while making it look like the other person made the decision. Ursa’s been managing Ozai himself this way for a while. 

General Opinion over said character: I think my frustration of her character is that Ursa is held to this trophy-status of “sweet perfect mom” but her flaws are never addressed. Part of this is the conflict between her comic self (which was boring) and her show self (which was more complicated, but a great deal more interesting), and also Zuko putting her on a pedestal. But I do like her a lot more as a flawed yet strong character, not just “a victim.”

[aclosetfan]

For the Salty asks: 1, 3, 5 and 6?

Thanks so much for playing along! Ima be real with you 2 out of the 4 questions you asked really opened up a can of worms for me, and I’m so sorry. I put the less stressful ones first, and the other two are under the cut! Anyway, these were super fun to answer, but plz don’t hate me for it!! 😂😂

for anyone wondering, here’s the ask list: Salty Asks List 

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

lmao yeah. It’s petty, but honestly, people’s personal morals really bleed through into their fandom opinions, and I’m not willing to put up with any unnecessary hate, especially in environments that are supposed to be fun. I’ve even blocked a few people. In the ppg fandom specifically, I’ve blocked a person who, I guess, thought it was necessary to try to gate-keep with racist/sexist/etc. terminology and ideologies, and I truly don’t have time for that 🤷‍♀️ (a lot of people probs know who I’m vaguing, but if you don’t, you’re lucky)

I can’t say I’ve ever unfollowed anyone for any innocent/not-in-conflict-with-my-morals fandom opinions. Usually, if I don’t agree with something, I just keep scrolling because lol whatever. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion.

but ngl I have unfollowed people who just get annoying 😬😬 lol

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

I went into this fandom without having too many preferences, so I didn’t have a pairing that I’ve previously hated!

I guess I could say that while I never really hated them, the color-mixing and color-clashing ships weren’t ever on my radar until I came across the fandom content. Now, I really like them! Particularly, Brick and Bubbles!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

Before anyone gets pissed off at me, before you get into my answer for this question, I’d like to really stress that you’ve got to go into it with absolutely zero fanon context. Like, erase all your headcanons from your mind. I’m dead serious. Because I literally DO NOT get why ANY rrbxppg ship would realistically work ever.

Okay, canonically, these six little funky science experiments were dead set on ending each other. The boys were absolutely horrible to the girls. And the girls literally KILL the boys. I know in fairytale romances, nothing stops love, but bruh, it’s hard to come back from murder 😂 And yeah, I know Clipsville showed the girls and the boys together as older teenagers, and they weren’t trying to kill each other, but that was an obvious gag. In the documentary, it was revealed that that particular “clip” was made because a bunch of people wanted the boys and girls to interact again, and CN gave into the demand. (also, lol I know it super embarrassing, but I did watch the documentary. I just really like Craig McCracken) I just don’t think that realistically a canon pairing between the two sets of triplets would ever be considered a healthy relationship. 

Also, ethically, I just—okay listen, I go back and forth with this allllll the time, but the ppgxrrb ships make me confront the “Would I sleep with my clone?” question way too often. Depending on my self-esteem, the answer changes each time. Like sometimes I’m like fuck yeah I would! Other times I’m like, ew, no, I’d have to consider my clone as a twin! I know counterparts aren’t technically clones, BUT the boys really do come across as identical to the girls in the show. The only difference really is their moral alignment (I’m nixing any gender argument). So, I’m like, omg, can I honestly pair these six together in any way??? Are they too close to each other genetically in some sense for this to be morally right??? Like if you ship Brick and Buttercup together, would that just essentially be shipping Brick and Butch/Blossom and Buttercup together in some messed up way??? Is Brick just Blossom, and Blossom just Brick?? Is it better just to ship color-matching instead of mixing???  

On top of all of that, wouldn’t the boys and girls be pseudo cousins since Mojo was the Professor’s lab monkey? Technically, in canon, Mojo ends up being both sets of triplets “creator,” so could the rrb and the ppg be considered siblings of some sort? Some of you are probably like, wow, calm down. Stop thinking about it. They’re science experiments. It’s not so deep. Which I get, but I can’t stop, so let me hit you with something ten times worse: should the girls (or the boys) actually be considered biological siblings? Does sugar, spice, and everything nice make you genetically related? Nothing put in the stirring pot was organic—just a bunch of chemicals. If you ship the boys and girls together this could be a good thing! BUT, but, could some sick fuck use this information to somehow justify shipping siblings (ppgxppg or rrbxrrb) together??? This is a literal nightmare to think about!!

All in all, I can’t think about these pairings too much without getting caught up in the logistics of their existence even if they’re fictional lmaoooo! If it wasn’t for the fandom, I wouldn’t ship them together at all. I just think it’s amazing that the ships took off like they did lol, because their literal (fictional) existence is just one giant mind fuck for me. Anyway, I ship them at the end of the day, but tbh I do it with a bit of a guilty conscience. Is it morally correct to ship clone-like counterparts? Or should counterparts be treated like twins? Does it even fucking matter at the end of the day, it’s just fiction? I don’t know the right answer. But I do know the pairings don’t make sense. 

Aside from the ppgxrrb, I don’t think there are many other BIG fandom wide pairings. Still, I just want to say that I don’t get why people ship Ace and Buttercup together. The pairing sounds off a few major alarms in my head for obvious reasons. There’s also a bunch of crack ships that involve crossovers with other cartoons. Generally, I don’t mind them, but it seems popular to ship Aku (from Samurai Jack) and Blossom together. And I’m real sorry to those devoted shippers, but again I do NOT get it. I see a lot of romantic fan art depicting romantic situations with Blossom still drawn as a child, and like I get Aku is an immortal demon, so “age is just a number,” but again, BIG ALARMS go off in my head.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?*

🙃 🙃 Kind of don’t want to answer this, but I will anyway because only a few people actually read my blog lolol, so lol, yep! And it’s the reds. Don’t shoot me lol. When I was in middle school, I got into this fandom, forgot about it, and then came back when I was hit by a round of nostalgia. I’m finishing up college now, and I can confidentially say that the fanon content for the reds hasn’t changed one bit. Or the demand for it.

I tended to find that a lot of red content follows many archetypes that I’m just not into. Their stories can get a real cringey, real fast. Blossom is always written like this “perfect, except she’s not (but she really is)” character. Like she’s the girl you WISH you could be, but she’s also going through a shit ton of stuff that no person IRL would be able to handle without having a mental breakdown. And sometimes, in some stories, Blossom does have a mental breakdown, but in a sexy way, so she’s still perfect. Generally, there’s still something problematic about Blossom that makes it easy for a reader to relate to her on some level, unlike the way people write Bubbles. And then there’s Brick, who’s broody, hyper-possessive or jealous, and hot figuratively and literally (gotta love the fire/ice trope). He’s the only boy—no! Wait!—the only person who could ever possibly outwit Blossom, and he is just so undeniably attracted to Blossom. They’re the smart power couple that should honestly just hook-up in Chapter One to save everybody time, but they don’t. Nah, they’ve got to survive at least two love triangles before they even consider admitting they’re attracted to each other.  

And don’t get me wrong, none of that’s bad, but there are a million fanfics that go through the same song and dance with these two. And it’s kind of easy to tell when someone’s hardcore projecting onto Blossom because the type of person they’re personally attracted to is the way they write Brick. And I’m not knocking anyone self-projecting onto characters, sometimes people got to do that to give themselves a fun mental break, but bro, I don’t want to read about it. For one, smart broody assholes aren’t my type. Maybe when I was in middle school, but not anymore. And two, it’s just not interesting to me, which is a real shame since the reds are a majority of the fanon content.

Maybe if I found more red stories where the plot isn’t character-driven but plot-driven, so I see the romance between these two characters in a context where it’s not the main focus of the story, it would solve my issue with the pairing. I haven’t found many fics like that, though.

I can’t really think of any reds fic where I’m like ey, this aint bad unless it has a “major character death” tag attached to it lmao (which are always plot driven stories). However, in all honesty, since I’ve stayed away from red content for a while now, I don’t know the current state of things. Maybe there’s been a load more development for these two, or people have broken away from the same plotlines, but I’m too busy to check. I do browse people’s fic rec lists from time to time, but it sort of feels like everyone just puts the same fics on their lists and moves on.

And before someone’s like, “well, you can say all this about the greens or the blues,” just know I’m fully aware. The greens make me cringe too because there’s a shit ton of possessive and abusive storylines filling their story tags. And what makes me super uncomfortable is how people make Buttercup hit Butch or call him derogatory names, oftentimes unprompted. I don’t know why people make Buttercup such an unlikeable and overly aggressive person. I also don’t get why they make Butch some perverted idiot, but to each their own, I guess? Still, I see these green-character patterns most often in red-focused stories, which is another reason why I avoid them. I’ve found a lot of green-focused content that strays from the abusive tropes I try to avoid. Considerably less than I’d like, but the greens are typically the b-plot pairing, so that’s to be expected. Personally, I’d really like to see more content with the greens finding some kind of inner peace, and recently, I’ve seen a few fics that have tried to tackle this concept.

And lol, if you’ve read some of my posts before, you already know that I think the blues are an underdeveloped fanon pairing. The fandom can’t ruin that pairing for me because it never does anything substantial with it.  

Anyway, at the end of the day, I’m just personally not into the way the reds are popularly written, but I get why people are and that’s good with me. 

[banashee]

Part 4 of my @badthingshappenbingo​

Prompt: Undeserved Reputation

Please mind the tags and warnings!

 Moving on together

 The people at SHIELD know better than to outright bully someone. No, they are way more subtle about it. Usually.

 Clint doesn’t expect anything less than cold, dirty looks when he sets foot onto the Helicarrier for the first time since the Battle of New York. For the first time since Natahsa knocked him unconscious to get Loki out of his brain, the first time since the world almost ended.

  It is bound to be an interesting day.

 Piercing eyes glare as Clint is making his way past, but no one dares to say anything. He is walking with the other Avengers and he is well aware that this is the only reason they keep it down. Once they’ll get him alone, well. That will be another story.

 He can’t hear them - his aids are good, but they are not      that    finetuned - but he knows that there are whispers and hushed conversations as soon as his back is turned. Very carefully, he doesn’t react. His fingers are twitching in an attempt not to curl into fists and his jaw is clamped shut so tightly that it makes his teeth and muscles hurt. Under different circumstances, Clint wouldn’t care about them.

 Any other day, if only things had gone differently, he would be a lot more level headed, but as it is, Clint is responsible for a lot of deaths, injuries and damages. Mind controlled or not, it doesn’t matter. Certainly not to his - former? - coworkers.

 The thoughts make his heart race way too fast, and Clint is faintly aware that his hands are getting sweaty.

 The next time he’s at SHIELD, he is alone but the rest is pretty much the same. Looks, distant muttering he can’t make out. In the meeting room, no one wants a seat close to him and people do their best to ignore his presence whenever possible - talking over him, not passing the relevant papers to him - it’s small things like that, but Clint notices. Of course he does.

 He keeps his face neutral and pretends like it doesn’t sting.

 When Clint walks out that night, in a half dark, empty hallway, he isn’t surprised when the group of four Agents jumps him.

 “Traitor” they call him while two of them hold him in place while the others break his nose and dislocate a kneecap. There are other, much more crass and personal insults, but “traitor” sticks - it hits a nerve.

 Clint doesn’t even try to fight back, and that’s probably the worst part. He deserves this, he thinks, so he doesn’t even bother to fight them off. Maybe they’ll leave it once they get the anger out of their systems.

 The attack doesn’t take long, but Clint knows how little time is really necessary to cause damage.

 The other Agents leave him in the dark hallway, bleeding, dizzy and in pain. It’s only when Fury himself of all people comes across him, that he is brought into medical. The director doesn’t say anything that Clint could remember, and his face is unreadable as always.

 They treat his injuries and treat him like air after that. Clint isn’t surprised.

 He leaves right after. No one stops him from limping down the hallway and out into the night.

 Clint is empty and numb. He forgets to take his painkillers, forgets to eat. The painkillers barely make a dent, anyway. He wasn’t given anything by SHIELD doctors, so he has to make do with over the counter stuff. It’s a joke.

 All he wants to do is sleep for about a year, but not even that works out.

 If he wasn’t so goddamn tired, he probably would have seriously hurt himself by now. He’s not sure if it’s a good thing that he doesn’t.

 Soon after, the world security council finally gets tired of waiting. Clint knows this, and truth be told, he’d expected to be taken away and locked up much, much sooner. But it happens, and just like when he was attacked, he doesn’t resist.

 They constantly prob him with questions and needles, voices just as cold as their touch. Clint answers questions mechanically, wondering when it’ll stop and what they’re going to do to him. He hopes that at least, it'll be quick.

 What he doesn’t expect is to be sent off with a slap on the back after three months.

 There must be a mistake, he thinks, and even back home in his apartment, Clint can’t sleep, can’t relax. People are calling him, but he never answers. At some point, he opens a message from an unknown number:

     “Since you’re not answering calls: Drop by the Tower any time you want to, we’re bringing the band together. Speaking of, bring Romanoff, she keeps ignoring me.”  

 Must be Stark, he figures, but isn’t sure what to say. So he just types,

     “OK”  

 and throws his phone back onto the table.

 Clint stays awake for days on end, until he physically can’t handle it for any longer and passes out. If he is lucky, he ends up on the couch or in bed. He’ll curl up on the bathroom floor if he’s not.

 Any given time, he expects to be taken away again and he can barely breathe with fear.

 When one day, his front door opens and the vibrations of footsteps come closer, he expects rough hands and a cold voice. A blade against his throat, the nozzle of a gun against his temple, anything.

 What he doesn’t expect is Natasha in his personal space.

 “Oh, hi.” His voice feels like sandpaper.

 “Did they send you to finish me off?” Clint asks her, and stares at him in disbelief for a moment. Then, a deep sadness seems to be radiating off of her.

 “No, of course not.” she looks right at him, making it easier to read lips. Natasha reaches out, slowly enough for him to pull away - he doesn’t. Her touch against his cheek is the most warm and gentle thing he’s felt in months, and Clint can’t help but lean into it. He hadn't even realized how touch-starved he must have been the whole time.

 Natasha leans into him, too. Open and unguarded affection is rare with her, but Clint has always been one of the very few lucky people to recieve it. Despite their history, he still isn’t sure he deserves it.

 “And even if they did - I wouldn’t do it. I’m sorry I couldn’t be here sooner.”

 Natasha moves closer, until they sit in a tight embrace. Clint isn’t 100% sure, but he is quite certain that both of them are crying. Most importantly though, he believes her. How could he not? His best friend is all he’s got left at this point.

 *+~

 It’s a strange thing, how so many years spent frozen in cryo, again and again after each mission, can leave such an impression. When it comes down to it, Bucky wasn’t awake for more than a few years at most, but it feels a lot longer than that. He feels older than he is - tired. So tired of everything that life has thrown on him.

 Due to some sort of miracle, Bucky manages to escape from Hydra for long enough to become a little bit more Bucky and a little less Soldier. The longer it lasts, the more he remembers, and he is terrified out of his mind.

 He doesn’t sleep - instead, he watches the news on a grainy, old TV in the little apartment he found, reads the papers.

 They’re looking for him, wanting to lock him up for all of the murders and crimes. Bucky can’t blame them - he knows how much of a security risk he is, hence him staying away from people as much as he can. Part of him agrees that he should be locked up in a windowless cell to rot. The other, slightly selfish part of him wants to experience freedom, wants to live. Just live, nothing more.

 None of the things he did for Hydra was his choice. But then again, the Soldier doesn’t know choice, only obedience. Bucky is tired of it.

 Sometimes, he thinks back to that fateful day in DC. He’d almost killed Steve, then. That in itself is bad enough, but the worst part is, the stubborn bastard would have let him.

 This, of all things, scares Bucky the most. It’s why he hides from Steve, too, because he knows he is trying to find him.

 Eventually, he does.

 How in the world Steve manages to convince him to come with him to the Avengers Tower in Manhattan, he couldn’t tell. It might have something to do with the fact that he always had a hard time to say “no” to his best friend - 90 pounds soaking wet or built like a brick wall, it doesn’t matter. On the inside, he’s still the stubborn, loyal kid from Brooklyn who is family to him. He’ll always love that guy, no matter what, so he finally agrees to come with him.

 “Home”, Steve says, but this might be pushing it. Bucky will be happy if he doesn’t accidentally kill anybody when he next freaks out.

 When he first arrives there, tense and ready to bolt at any second, things don’t go nearly as bad as he’d feared. No one seems to be worried or awkward, which is impressive. They simply welcome him, as if he was any other new housemate and that’s it - if the surprise is showing on his face, no one comments on it.

 Steve shows him around for a bit, which he is grateful for. Having someone he knows close by helps, and he relaxes a bit. At least, he does until he finds out that they gave him an apartment big enough to fit any entire army - all for himself. Bucky is more than a little overwhelmed by it. He’s never had so much space for himself, never would have dared to dream of it. But now it’s given to him, just like that, and he can’t help but blurt out

 “I don’t deserve this  - Steve, there must be a mistake, this can’t be for me”

 “It is, Buck. It’s all yours. You deserve nice things.” Steve gently puts an arm around him and Bucky dives into the hug, if only to hide the fact that he is starting to tear up.

 Getting used to being a person again is hard.

 After the majority of hydra’s brainwashing has worn off, Bucky has spent those days and weeks in a constant state of either numb or terrified and very little in between. Always tense, always on the lookout for another threat.

 Now, he is in a safe environment with people who know who he is and what he did and they don’t seem to mind. It’s strange, to walk into a room and get offered a seat, a drink or a plate of food - whatever it is that everyone else is having.

 At first, he doesn’t talk much, and people seem to accept that. As it is, Stark talks enough on his own for all of them combined, so that helps, too. Bucky likes to listen, though, just being part of the group without inserting himself too much. It works, for the most part, but some days, he can’t stand being in the company of others for too long. He gets anxious then, and Steve especially worries about him. But even though he knows he means well, Steve hovering and trying with everything he’s got to fix everything wrong doesn’t help at all. Most days, Bucky doesn’t have the heart to tell him this.

 One particularly bad day, Bucky hides in a utility closet of all places when he can hear his best friend calling for him. He means well, he knows that, but he just can’t deal with his hovering now. So Bucky leaps to the nearest door, opens it and closes it behind him as quickly and quietly as  humanly possible. He finds himself in a dark, cramped room and he almost gets hit with a mop when he turns to what he hopes might be something usable to sit on. Only, it’s soft and when he lowers himself the “chair” clears its throat and then says,

 “So, this is awkward.”

 Bucky almost jumps out of his skin, but he is ridiculously proud that he didn’t start screaming - or more likely, throwing punches.

 “Fuck! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you were in here.” he scrambles up from what he is pretty sure was Barton’s lap, almost knocking over a bucket with cleaning supplies.

 “No harm done. Are you ok?” Clint asks, and scoots over to the side to make space for Bucky to sit down before he breaks his neck on a broom or something.

 The ridiculousness of the situation actually startles a bark of laughter out of Bucky - it’s been a long time.

 “Sorry. I’m just… Hiding, I guess. What about you?”

 “Same.”

 Bucky can feel the other man shrug next to him, and he looks over in his direction. His eyes are slowly getting used to the dark.

 “How come?” he finds himself asking, before he can even stop himself. ‘This is none of your business’ he scolds himself in the privacy of his own head, but there is nothing about this situation that isn’t weird. To his great surprise, Clint actually answers.

 “Had a meeting at SHIELD. It… didn’t go too well… I guess I don’t want to answer any questions about it or see anyone getting mad on my behalf. It is what it is.” he shrugs again, but he doesn’t sound half as casual as he is trying for.

 Bucky has read his file - he’s read everyone's file - and his guess is that this is absolutely fair. He wouldn’t want to talk, either. As a matter of fact, he is hiding for very similar reasons.

 “Yeah, I get that.” he says, leaning his head on the wall behind him, closing his eyes for a moment.

 Next to him, Clint hums in agreement.

 “You would.” and then, after a pause, he continues, “Hey, tell you what. If you ever get tired of hanging out next to the cleaning supplies, there is a pretty decent access point to the rooftop near the elevator at my level. The view is nice.”

 This is not what Bucky expected to hear at all and it takes him off guard. It’s not just a nice gesture, it’s the offer to use a (more or less) secret hiding place where people won’t come looking right away.

 “Thank you.” he says quietly. “You wouldn’t mind?”

 “No. I get the urge to get away when things are shitty, so…” he shrugs. “Besides, I don’t mind your company.”

 With that, and a light tap to his metal shoulder, Clint get’s up, climbs over the fallen mop and to the door before Bucky can say anything to that last statement. Then, Clint turns around, with a mischievous grin on his face.

 “I could make a real corny joke about coming out of the closet right now.”

 Laughing kinda hurts his throat, but it feels so good to be able to do this - Bucy surprises himself with it.

 “You’re terrible!” he accuses, but doesn’t mean it at all.

 “I know. See ya around, Barnes.”

 The next time they meet, it’s fuck-o clock in the morning and Bucky is staring at the toaster oven in the communal kitchen as if attempting to set it on fire with his eyes. The bagels in it are not impressed and don’t toast any quicker.

 Clint is shuffling past Bucky, with a low grunt that could mean just about everything, and makes a beeline for the coffee machine. The noise and movement is enough for Bucky to stop glaring at his food and look over though.

 Clint looks like a hot mess - well, more so than he usually does. He’s in pyjamas that could stay up on their own at this point, and his hair sticks up in every direction, as if he spent a good amount of time tossing and turning in bed before giving up on sleep. The purple bags under his eyes are another indicator for that.

 He watches silently, as Clint pours not one or two, but six whole espresso shots into one of the giant mugs they keep in the kitchen. Bucky’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline.

 “Does that even taste good?” he asks, unsurprised when Clint shakes his head.

 “No. But it works.” He shrugs, trying to seem casual, but he can’t hide the tremors in his hands as he pours mug after mug in the bigger one on the counter.

 ‘Do you want to talk?’ is a dumb question, for one, and Bucky can already guess that the answer is ‘no’ so he doesn’t ask it. He knows these kinds of nights - hell, he is having one himself, hence the midnight snack.

 The ‘pling’ of the toaster oven makes both of them jump a bit, and Bucky prepares his food while Clint starts making another mug of too-much-espresso for himself.

 Both of them sit down by the table, eventually. They don’t talk, but having silent company of someone who understands, makes breathing a little easier.

 When the sun goes up behind the large windows in the living room, they start a pot of coffee and then leave the kitchen. As they depart, they do so with a slight shoulder bump and nothing more.

 But meeting up in sleepless nights becomes a thing after that.

 The next time, Bucky is actually hiding again.

 About half an hour earlier, he wakes up drenched in sweat, clawing at his throat and screaming from a very vivid nightmare. This right here is the reason he avoids sleep whenever he can.

 Faintly, he can make out JARVIS asking him if he is in need of assistance, but Bucky shakes his head ‘no’ vehemently. He doesn’t want anyone to see him like this, not even Steve.

 He knows he’d come to comfort and stay with him in a heartbeat, but he’ll worry. More so than he already does, and Bucky doesn’t want that for him. His best friend is happy, and he doesn’t deserve to be dragged down. Steve would very much disagree and he knows it.

 So, Bucky remains alone in bed, hands fisted into the sheets and letting the storm pass over him.

 When his breathing is more even again, he’s got a headache and he’s still shaky, but Bucky knows that staying here won’t help. He needs some air - and also a place to hide out for a bit.

 The conversation with Clint the other day comes back to his mind, but he hesitates. Should he really go there? Well, it was offered to him, after all.

 He gets out of bed and into the elevator.

 Just like Clint said, the access point is pretty easy to find - for people like them who are always on the lookout. Bucky climbs up, and the night air hits him in the face. It feels good - soothing.

 With a sigh, he sits down on the concrete floor and leans against the wall.

 The sight really is beautiful - he can see pretty far from up here, and the lights of the city below have their own charme. It’s different than he is used to - much louder, busier and a lot more neon lights, but it’s not bad. New York is still home, after all.

 His thoughts are particularly overwhelming that night. Bucky’s brain is a mess on a good day, and trying to sort it out is hard. Memories are chopped and muddled. Sometimes, he can’t make out faces or voices of people he knows were important to him while others stand out clear as a day.

 Bucky can’t remember what his Mom looked like, or if he had sisters, but he’ll always remember the faces of the people he killed. Every single one of them.

 ‘      I’m sorry    ’ he thinks, over and over, ‘      I’m so sorry    .’

 He still hasn’t found a therapist that doesn’t make his skin crawl, as much as he would like to. How someone would even attempt to treat him, he doesn’t know, but damn it if he doesn’t want to try. Bucky wants to      live    , not just survive.

 There is a painful lump in his throat, choking him up. He is trying as hard as he can to swallow it, but fails.

 The concrete under him and behind him is hard, and not very comforting and he keeps whispering his mantra, ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry’ over and over again, until his voice gives out and all he can do is   hold onto sanity with the tips of his fingers.

 He doesn’t realize that there are steps coming closer, and he doesn’t realize that someone is calling for him until they change up “Bucky” for “James”

 “...James? Are you with me?”

 Clint, he realizes, and nods.

 “Okay, that’s, that’s good. Can you breathe? Slowly. In - hold - out - in… Yeah, like that. You’re doing well.” He keeps talking to him, like there is nothing odd about it, kneeling on the floor near Bucky, who is equal parts mortified and grateful. Without realizing it, Bucky leans forward until his forehead hits something warm and solid. Human contact - it’s nice. He didn’t get a lot of that in the last few years.

 A hand is carefully rubbing his shoulder, and Bucky leans into it without even realizing. Then, Clint asks quietly,

 “Is it okay when I come closer?” and Bucky just nods. A moment later, a pair of warm, strong arms wraps around him and he practically melts into the embrace. It’s been a long time since he let himself be held like that, but it feels so good - he doesn’t want it to stop. So, he just does the next logical thing and hugs back.

 After a while, breathing is a lot easier, and he doesn’t feel as cold anymore.

 “Hey. Can I ask you something?” Bucky asks later that night, when he is still sitting on the roof, next to Clint who has kept him company the whole time.

 He blinks, and nods slowly.

 “Yeah, sure.”

 For a moment, Bucky hesitates.

 “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

 “...Okay?”

 For a while, neither of them says anything. Clint is almost sure that Bucky changed his mind about the question, but then he fixes him with a desperate look in his eyes, and it tells Clint enough so that he can just prepare for it, before Buck asks him,

 “How do you cope with it? The Mind Control.”

 Clint stays silent for a bit. He is trying to keep his emotions in check, telling himself that he is safe, he is himself and those days are over. Talking about this is hard, and for good reason.

 “Honestly? I don’t.” he confesses, forcing himself to look at Bucky. Under normal circumstances, he’d have brushed off a question like this, but this is different - Bucky is different. He understands better than most people what it is like, to be trapped in the back of your mind while someone else takes over, takes control.

 “It’s… hard. I was in therapy. Didn’t help much, but that’s because I don’t trust the SHIELD shrinks. It’s a whole thing… And finding someone else is…” He shakes his head, wiping one hand over his face. He hates talking about this, but he figures any common ground might help Bucky.

 “I learned to live with it. Kinda. Not well, but. I’m still kickin’, so that’s gotta be worth something. Having something to do and people around you, who you can count on helps. A lot. But… It’s been years. I still have to deal with it. Some days more than others.”

 He looks over to Bucky, who listens to every word with an intense stare  that is almost uncomfortable.

 “I’m sorry I can’t give you anything more helpful. Fuck.” He laughs, but it’s not a happy sound.

 “It was about a week for me. I can’t imagine 70-odd years...”

 “Hey, no. It’s not a competition. It just sucks.” carefully, he reaches out with one hand. Clint doesn’t pull away - on the contrary, he returns the grip on Bucky’s flesh hand and doesn’t let go.

 “Thank you, Clint, for telling me. It means a lot.”

 After this one meeting on the roof, the two of them have grown a lot closer. They still don’t talk very much about what happened to them, but knowing that there is another person who understands, really understands what it feels like to be violated in this way - it helps. Bucky and Clint keep each other company whenever possible, spending days together, snarking over the comms when they’re in their respective perches, sharing drinks or snacks at night in their favourite hiding spots, when the company of other people is too much.

 They also learn that sleeping together helps to keep their nightmares at bay - at least a bit.

 It all starts out one night, where most of the team is out of town for various reasons, and the two of them pretty much have the tower to themselves. Bucky isn’t up for much, and he is curled up on his couch, watching a movie that doesn’t really interest him but is considered a classic, so he vows to suffer through it at least once.

 He is almost relieved when a knock on his door interrupts him, but that only lasts until his eyes stop by the clock - it’s two in the morning. Shit.

 Bucky is at the door in a matter of seconds, and when he opens it, he is greeted with a very sorry sight.

 Clint is standing in front of him, dressed in old, wrinkled pyjamas and he’s shaking like a leaf. His eyes are wide, terrified and rimmed red. He tries to form a sentence, but it gets stuck in his throat, almost turning into a sob. Without thinking, Bucky pulls him into his arms and inside.

 He never finds out what exactly was bothering him that night, but the two of them do end up wrapped in blankets and around each other on the couch, with the muted TV still flickering. The caps are on, in case Clint wants to distract himself. He doesn’t wear his ears at the time, and he isn’t really interested in reading anything, be it caps or lips. As it is, he simply holds onto Bucky while he is trying to calm down, trying to ground himself.

 One arm remains tightly wrapped around the other man’s waist, while his other hand is moving constantly. He is drawing invisible patterns on his back with light fingertips, and it seems to help him. Bucky himself is enjoying the physical contact a lot, and if he wasn’t so focused on making sure that his friend is okay, he would have fallen asleep on the spot. Instead, he keeps himself busy by playing with the dirty blond strands of hair, combing his fingers through them again and again, even when all the little knots are gone.

 Eventually, both of them drift off into sleep. Surprisingly enough, there are no more nightmares for either of them that night.

 It’s a thing after this. They spend the nights together whenever possible, falling asleep wrapped around a warm body and holding each other through the nightmares that lurk in the dark corners of their subconsciousness. Company doesn’t erase the trauma or the memories, but it makes it a lot easier to deal with.

 The team notices how much better the two of them are doing, too. They seem happy and relieved for them, and occasionally say as much.

 “Are you going to tell him?” Natasha asks one evening, from where she is sitting on the carpet in front of Clint while he is braiding and twisting her long red curls into a complicated updo. He hums questioningly, trying not to accidentally swallow one of the hairpins that he’s holding in between his teeth.

 “James.” she clarifies, and takes a sip of her tea.

 “Tell him what?” Clint asks, and pins another strand of hair in place. He has a feeling where this might go, and he can feel the heat of a blush creeping up his neck. Thank god Nat doesn’t face him right now - not that she needs to. She knows him better than anyone else.

 “A hundred bucks say he feels the same as you.” Nat replies instead of answering his question, and Clint huffs a laugh.

 “Well, just one BuckY would be enough for me, you know.”

 “See, there you go.” she replies, sounding way too smug. And really, when Natasha turns around, there is a lopsided smile on her face, slightly mischievous.

 With a heavy sigh, Clint picks up more hair pins from the side table.

 “I don’t want to fuck up what we have now. It’s… I trust him, and I like him. A lot. And he trusts me, too, at least as far as I can tell.”

 “Of course he does. You two understand each other in a way that not many people do.”

 “You understand, Tasha.”

 “Yes, but I don’t want to sleep with either of you.”

 “That’s your loss.” Clint is grinning, always happy to make corny jokes.

 “Oh well, I’ll live.” Natasha is laughing now, and he does, too. For a moment, Clint rests a cheek on her shoulder and she leans into him. The two of them hold onto each other for a bit.

 They may not always agree with one another, but they’ve called the other family long before any other person earned that title. They know each other, in a bone deep understanding that is rare for most people. After so many years, there is nothing left but love, trust and honesty.

 “You two are good for each other, you know. It’s nice to see that, and you deserve to be happy.”

 Later that night, kneeling on his couch with a towel in both hands, Clint is carefully drying off Bucky’s soaked, tangled mess of hair. He just came in from a thunderstorm and resembled a wet, pissed off cat, up until Clint offered to help out.

 Doing other people's hair is relaxing, helps him to calm down and focus. Physical contact plays a big part in it, of course, but so does the activity itself. The other plus is that the people he is with tend to enjoy being taken care of, so it’s an arrangement that makes both of them happy.

 Natasha went out with Pepper for a Lady’s Night in a local bar, hence the styling, and Bucky just spent the day with Steve and Sam around town. The weather turned on their way back, and naturally, no one carried an umbrella.

 So when Bucky turns up on Clint’s doorstep, soaking wet and with a dark scowl, he steers him straight towards the bathroom, throwing a big towel over the heater and a change of clothes into the sink on the way there, telling him to get warmed up.

 “Trying to get me out of my clothes already, huh?” Bucky jokes, with is met with

 “I’ll buy you dinner, first.” and then the door is thrown shut behind him so he can shower and change in peace.

 ‘      Jeez Barton, obvious much.    ’ Clint thinks on his way to the kitchen, where he starts a pot of coffee for both of them and tries very hard to stay busy and not think too much.

 A few minutes later, the coffee is done and Bucky is sitting in front of Clint, head slightly tilted back for him to reach. He is wearing his borrowed clothes, which are a bit short on him, but luckily, Clint likes his lounge clothes big and comfy, unlike the tight shirts he tends to wear out. Bucky would have burst those at the seams, especially with the metal arm. He is not that much taller than Clint, and the archer is far from scrawny, but it doesn’t change the fact that Bucky can pick him up like a sack of potatoes when he wants to.

 Damn supersoldiers.

 Clint squeezes the rest of the water out of Bucky’s hair with a towel, careful to get every single strand of it. Then he starts to detangle the knots with his fingers, gently running them through the thick, dark hair that is long enough to reach past Bucky’s shoulders by now.

 The feeling of fingers running through his hair, tugging gently and massaging his scalp make him melt into the touch. He soaks up every bit of gentle touch and tenderness like a sponge, and by the time his hair is only slightly damp and brushed through completely, his head has fallen back against Clint’s chest and he hums happily, especially because the touch doesn’t stop once his hair is done. Clint keeps running his fingers through his hair, occasionally brushing a cheek with his thumb and stroking over the bit of stubble there, and Bucky loves every second of it.

 He didn’t think he’d get to experience something like this ever again, let alone be comfortable with someone coming this close to him. But he is lucky enough to be here, and that means the world to him.

 It’s moments like this where Bucky thinks he should just say something - tell Clint how he feels, in the hopes that it’s mutual. Which, if he is to believe Natasha and Steve, who have both been bugging him like annoyingly correct shoulder-angels, is the case.

 “Are you about to fall asleep on me?” Clint asks him with a hint of humor in his voice, but he keeps scratching his scalp and his hands are so incredibly warm, it’s all Bucky can do to hum in agreement and snuggle closer.

 He realizes that suddenly, he is pulled sideways, but doesnt protest, because it means that both of them are laying down now, which only gives him better access to snuggle into Clint, who puts away his ears and wraps a blanket around both of them. Once they’re settled, he   keeps stroking his hair.

 “You’re the best.” he tells him sleepily, and smiles into the soft shirt under his head when the other man buries his nose in his hair. Clint wouldn’t have heard that last part, but the sentiment seems to come across.  

 Outside the window, the rain keeps splattering against the glass, lulling them to sleep. The rain, and the calm, even breathing of one another are the last thing either of them can make out before drifting off. Although for Bucky, whose head is still pillowed on Clint’s chest, the heartbeat under him is probably the biggest source of comfort.

 Unfortunately, no matter how happy Bucky was before falling asleep, his subconciousness is always ready to fuck him over. He wakes up thrashing and screaming, only realizing where he is when gentle hands catch his flying fists and a familiar voice next to his ear says,

 “Bucky, you are safe. You are at home in the tower, in my apartment and you are safe. No one is attacking, you are safe. Please keep breathing. I’m here, I got you. I got you…”

 Home… He’s home. With Clint, who is holding him and stroking his hair again, reassuring him that he is safe.

 Zola is nowhere to be found, because that time is long over, and his arm is okay - the old, heavy thing that Hydra gave him is long gone and replaced by a better, much lighter one from Tony Stark, because Bucky has a new life now, where he is safe… He’s got friends, a family even… He’s safe…

 Only belatedly, he realizes that he is crying, but even if he tried to, he wouldn’t be able to stop. The hug around him tightens, and he is pretty sure that his hold on Clint is too hard, it probably hurts him, and he tries to soften his grip. But then the fear overcomes him, and he holds on as tightly as he can, shaking violently with fear.

 “It’s okay, I’m here. Not going anywhere… I’m here Bucky, and I love you. I’m here, you’re safe…”

 The three words almost don’t register with him, but a part of him notices, and despite everything, they spread warmth through his entire body. Bucky presses closer, allowing himself to let everything out until he feels more like himself again. He is exhausted though, so before he can say or do anything, he falls back asleep.

 Over coffee and breakfast the next morning, he asks,

 “What you said last night. Did you mean it?”

 “Hm?” Clint looks up at him, not quite awake yet.

 “When I was freaking out. You were calming me down and said-”

 “Oh.      Oh    ! Yes, of course I - I mean that. Because I do… Love you. Didn’t mean to tell you like that, but, yeah. I do.”

 Hearing this is the best thing that happened to him in a long time - Bucky reaches out to get a hold of Clint and he lets him. He’s still stammering, but smiles as soon as Bucky takes his hand in his own. Something eases in his chest.

 “I love you, too. Wanted to tell you for ages…”

 They close the distance between them and the breakfast is forgotten on the table. The world around them seems to have come to a stop, and they’re perfectly content with that.

 “...Can I kiss you?”

 “Yes!” before he can say anything else, the last few inches of distance are crossed and their lips meet. This first kiss between them is a soft and gentle thing. Reassuring, steady. Tasting a bit like the coffee they just drank.

 After a while, they grow hungry for more, and Clint is straddling his lap. He is rewarded with strong arms wrapped around him and by the time they break apart, their coffee has gotten cold. But it doesn’t matter because they are happy and giddy, like teenagers in love.

 This happiness seems to be radiating off of them, or maybe the goofy smile on both of their faces are telling on them. Either way, when they enter the common kitchen, they are met with a quick look from Tony, who just nods to himself, says, “finally” and then there is money exchanged between several people at the table. Most of it goes to Natasha, naturally, who looks satisfied but also shoots both of them a genuine smile.

 Later that day, Steve catches Clint in the hallway, but the expected shovel talk doesn’t happen. Instead, he pulls the archer into a bone crushing hug that lifts him off of his feet. When he puts him back to the floor, Clint is utterly confused, but Steve just beams at him.

 “I haven’t seen Buck this happy since the 40s!” he hugs him again. “You two are good for each other. Thank you - for being there for him.”

 “Thanks, uh- I’m glad to have him, too.”

 “If you’re both happy, that’s all I care about.” and with a clap to his shoulder, the Captain has disappeared into the elevator,waving at him as the door closes.

 When Clint joins Bucky on the couch in front of the running TV, he nuzzles into him and says,

 “Your Bestie is like an excited puppy. It’s kinda adorable.”

 “What, did he launch into a cheesy speech of happiness?”

 “He hugged me. Twice in a span of like, a minute. And yes, he did launch into that speech. How much money did Tasha win in the bet?”

 Bucky laughs and pulls Clint closer to himself. He is ridiculously happy right now.

 “She didn’t tell, but she said she’ll spring for dinner some time.”

 “Sweet.”

 One evening, a little later down the road, they’re walking hand in hand underneath old street lights. It’s getting colder now, what with fall slowly approaching. There are barely any people around, which is rare enough here in the city.

 They’re in good spirits, having come from a dinner date and decided to go for a walk after, and take their time.

 They laugh and joke, talking about everything and nothing. It doesn’t matter - they’re happy, much, much happier than either of them has been in a very long time, and they stop under one of the lights to share another kiss, holding each other close. When they move along to get home, they walk just a little bit closer to each other.

 The last few weeks have been hard. There have been news articles, twitter posts, anything and anyone with an public opinion writing about the two of them since paparazzi have managed to get a shot of them holding hands while entering the back door to the tower.

 There are the typical homophobic idiots opening their big stupid mouths, but those don’t bother Clint or Bucky very much, because they know they’re wrong. What’s worse and much more hurtful are people who try to dig up dirt about either one or both of them, falling back onto the crimes they committed while being mind controlled.

 It hurts, in a deep and personal way, and it makes going out on the streets a lot harder than it was before. Let alone SHIELD - Clint avoids going there at all costs. He still couldn’t shake off the undeserved reputation after the Battle of New York, and the recent news articles have only made it worse. As for Bucky, it is pretty much the same. Many people simply don’t care or think enough to distinguish between the Soldier and James Barnes.

 Some time has passed since the first articles hit, and while the talk hasn’t died down by any means, some days are better than others.

 They manage, with the love and support of their team, and of course, each other. They’re simply moving on together.

    *+~

Prompt: Undeserved Reputation

                            Warnings: - Attack/violence/blood - PTSD - suicidal thoughts - Loss of control - Panic Attacks, Anxiety - neglect from medical personnel - Survivors guilt - Trauma - Bullying - references to homophobia