#which will not be for awhile bc like i said i'm wanting to write the whole season first

[paigemathews]

Whenever I actually sit down and start posting the next gen series, one of the things that I really wanna do is kind of... incorporate reader's choices into it? Not in big ways bc my plan is to write like a full season before I start posting episodes and that can affect it, but like. smaller beats.

One example is that I have an episode idea where there's a big emotional thing for three different characters and our resident empath has a discussion with each of them, but it's reader choice which scene we see. Another one is an episode where it's reader's choice for who gets hit with some kind of emotional puncture and just spews emotions everywhere. It'd be mostly character and relationship scenes for arcs that are already happening, but readers would have the chance to see their favorite or the one that they're most curious about up close on "screen." Not for every episode, but like. maybe once or twice a season or something. Idk, thought it might be interesting.

[bigball-thefrog]

hey there! once again wishing you good luck on those exams! but i was wondering if maybe you could write something for law?

i was thinking maybe that Law and the reader had met awhile back on the readers island and she like saved him from something when he was a rookie. then obviously she joins his crew and stuff but then one day an incident happens that causes the reader to die and Law is devastated as the years go by

But here’s the twist!☝🏻The reader didn’t actually die but instead she survived and the Strawhats found her wondering around and took her in🙏🏻So know she’s a member of the strawhats, then Law meets her again in Punk Hazard.

The rest is up to you! I just kinda want it to be angsty and heartbreaking when Law meets the reader again like maybe I don’t know she fell for someone else…(if you can…can you make the reader nerdy bc i’m a nerd🧍🏻‍♀️)

Helloooo!!! I'm back and I've finished your request, I hope you like it. I know I said I'd post a few yesterday but I got tired. But I'll try and post than just this today because I've got quite a bit planned. But for now, enjoy more Law suffering

Warnings/Tags:

Female reader

Law can't be happy for a goddam minute before it all goes to shit

______________________________

Narrator POV

You lived a peaceful life in a small village by the sea. Nothing much ever happened until one day you were collecting seaweed when you saw a man about your age wash up on the beach with a polar bear. The Polar begged you for help and you took them both in.

When the man woke up, he thanked you and introduced himself as Law, a rookie pirate, and the Polar bear was his right hand man, Bepo. They stayed with you for awhile and grew kinda close, you knew a lot about botany which and medicine which was good for Law, to help him heal and to improve his skills as a doctor, you both also got along with your shared love the comic, Sora, Warrior of the Sea. When it was time for Law to leave, he invited you to come with, and he accepted, making you the botanist/herbalist of the heart pirates. You grew closer as the days went by, you knew that law was mostly closed off from showing much emotion but you were starting to break down that cold wall around his heart, getting closer than most, even starting to get almost, intimate, with him. But it didn't last long...

At the events of Sabaody, you and the rest of the crew were fighting against the Pacifistas and were struggling to get away, Law was distracted trying to save everyone he didn't even notice he was being aimed at. As it fired, you managed to push Law out the way, causing you to he blasted instead. You went flying from the blast and Law was too slow reach you. He wanted to run after you but he was quickly picked up by Bepo as he ran with him. He struggled but it was no point. Once the fight was over and the marines were gone, Law and the rest of the crew spent all of their time, searching for you and where you went, only leaving when the events of Marineford happened. But you were nowhere to be found... You were gone... Another person, close to Law.. Gone...

--------------------------------------------------

Two years later at Punk Hazzard, Law had just allied with the Strawhats and was following Luffy back to their current hideout so he could swap back the bodies of the crew he changed.

He walked in, first noticed the giant children, then the crew, then... You...? No, it couldn't be, you were dead, you were killed in Sabaody and Law couldn't find your body! How, how were you here?! Why were you here, why didn't you come back to him?! Law stood frozen and it was only when Nami shouted at him to change her back that he snapped out of his thoughts and changed them back, but right after he ignored everyone else and walked right up to you. "Oi..." He called out as he stood right in front of you. You looked up at him, confused but smiled, "Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Luffy's?" "Stop the act, you know who I am.." "No, I don't... Have we met before?" dammit, why were you acting like this?! Of course you two had met before! "Yeah, I'm your captain remember?" you shook your head, "No you're not, Luffy's my captain, I only just joined recently at Sabaody"

Sabaody?! How?? He searched every inch of that island for you!! "Cut the bullshit! You're not apart of the Strawhats! You're apart of my crew! You were a botanist/herbalist that helped me make medicine on my ship! The Polar Tang, remember?!" Law shouted out, you looked at him sympathetically, "I'm sorry but I don't remember... I don't remember much before waking up on Sabaody..." Law clenched his fists, you must've lost your memories when you got blasted by the Pacifistas... And now you don't remember him at all...

Defeated, Law just sat next to you, "Sorry, you just reminded me of an old friend... That I lost two years ago..." "Oh... I'm so sorry..." you frowned and moved a little closer to him, "It's fine... I just miss them a lot, and you look identical to them.." Law mumbled. You both went into a comfortable silence until Law decided to still check up on you despite you not remembering him, "So, how have the Strawhats been treating you?" He asked. He listened to you as you began rambling about all the stuff you've done with them already, you were still making medicine and growing your plants, you assisted Chopper now with the medical filed, but what hurt the most was when you mentioned that you had tarted growing feelings for Zoro. Now that was a punch in the gut, all the close, intimate, personal moments that you shared with Law, gone. Now all your feelings dedicated to the swordsman...

He went quiet again and when you noticed this and tried to apologize but he just looked away, how could he even look at you now that you remember nothing and he remembered everything... You were gone, the person he had grown to love, care for and let down his walls for, was gone... You looked genuinely upset, nit understanding what he was thinking or going through so you just looked down with a frown on your face. When Law glanced back and saw your frown his heart clenched. He hated seeing you frown and be hated being the reason for that frown even more. Maybe, this was for the best? Maybe you were better with the Strawhats, but dammit it hurt so much to think about you not being with him anymore.. But now with the alliance, he could see you for a little longer.. Maybe, he could get ode to you again and maybe something in you would snap and you'd remember... With a deep exhale he turned back to face you and spoke about the first thing you two bonded over, "So... You like Sora, Warrior of the Sea?"

______________________________

Alright, so for tonight, I've got a part 2 of I request I did, then I've just gotten a new request to do, then I'll be posting a poll with three of my ideas that I'll let you all pick the order of which I post them in. I'll see you all real soon.

Kelly🐸

[pray4saint]

hihi i'm here to pick that massive brain of yours 😼

can we have some headcanons (or anything really) of george having a crush on a popular streamer!reader and maybe all his friends tease him about it bc he's just so smitten and has negative rizz around them? (sorry if this is basic but I can't get the idea out of my mind)

smitten

masterlist & descrip. pg. 13+. popular streamer!reader. fluff. george pining after reader. bsf!larray bc i felt like it. use of 'y/n'. swearing.

a/n. this has been rotting in my inbox for almost 3 weeks soooo here we are lmaoo. started writing 8/26/23, finished writing 8/29/23. crazy right??

”heeyy guys– oh fuck.” those were the first words george ever heard you say.

george had heard your twitch handle – your username – float around twitter for awhile since you had another big project coming up. but the first time he saw you was in larray's newest youtube video. you'd opened the door to the room larray was pacing around in, talking into this phone's microphone, and you had two coffees in hand. ”heeyy guys– oh fuck.” the cut off was when one of the coffees spilled a little bit out of the lid and onto the floor. larray let his jaw fall slack, looking between the camera and the floor by the entrance. ”oh bitch how did that happen?”

”shut up.” you start, stepping over the spill to put the coffees down on his desk. ”do you have paper towels?” and then the video cut to him driving alone in his car, singing along to another song as he did almost ritualistically during these cuts.

it was that video that sent george down the rabbit hole. it started with your youtube channels, your main which was mostly your shortened streams and those very rare vlogs you did with friends. almost two hours had gone by when he realised just how long he'd been watching your videos and laughing every few minutes because you had said something funny, or you added to a joke someone else had started.

then there was your twitch, which had him travelling over to your twitter, and after reading like ten of your tweets, he followed you. after shaking his head and closing twitter, he found himself scrolling through your instagram. starting with the most recent, which he liked, that was safe enough, and he just kept going, at least until one of his roommates knocked on his door, and he accidentally liked a really old post. it was late and he didn't understand what could possibly be so important.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

george didn't bother telling any of his friends about you as he didn't feel it was necessary. ping. that was weird. george could've sworn he'd silenced his phone. then again, this wasn't his stream and he could afford to check it right then.

twitter – 1 new notification @ yourusername followed you back!

his lips parted, a heavy exhale leaving him. it was weird, but he smiled at it. ”ooooh george, what's, or who's got you smilin' over there?” sapnap half-turned around in his chair, wiggling his eyebrows at his roommate. george's eyes snap up to his friend. ”uh, what?” sapnap just sort of laughs it off and goes back what he was doing prior.

.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆. ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ .⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⋆｡⋆˚｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.

”hi george, i'm y/n.” you extended a hand out to the brit and after what felt like forever, he put his hand in yours and shook. ”hi.” was the only word he could manage out. as much as he wanted to make a good first impression, the only thing he could do when he looked at you was smile. it was something easily picked up by the rest of the group; sapnap, dream and larri. there were shared looks between the three, ones neither you or george saw.

you'd of course heard of the dream team, they were popular streamers, but you'd also heard about them from larri, who knew them a quite a bit better than the internet did.

larri was the first to speak up to get everyone back on track, to record the video. ”anyways so–”

god, george was a goner for you, and he didn't even really know you. at least not yet.

pray4saint© do not copy, translate or repost my work without my express permission.

[midnightmah07]

bare with me 😍-

in idia’s vignette, ace 100%, played “20 questions” with her awhile grim was away. And one of his questions were “do you really want to leave twisted wonderland?” Like 😀 girl couldn’t answer she froze but anyway i am going to do a scenario later on

MOVING ON

this song is so bluecherry, like they like each other, but do they LIKE LIKE EACH OTHER???

“And maybe we should stay friends” i think Ace doesn’t want to go out with Winnie bc he thinks that he may screw up and make her sad and making her sad would make him sad and they would part ways 😔 DID YOU GET IT?!?!

Okay onto the next thing:

HIM WAITING FOR HER TO CONFESS BC HE IS KINDA SCARED

bonus points, bc he kissed her to shut her up after their show in VDC (before they lost lol), BUT IT WAS SO IMPULSIVE THAT WHEN THEY NOTICED JAMIL, GRIM, KALIM, DEUCE AND THE OTHERS JUST STARE AT THEM LIKE 😦 and then when Ace was mad bc they lost, she takes his hand and just “^^” WAITING FOR HIM TO CONFESS ANDNTHEN HE FINALLY SAYS IT.

ANOTHER SONG THAT IS SOOOOO THEM CORE

i just imagine ace’s head being this as he finally realizes he likes winnie hehejdgjwhdjsm

they are cute

also small hcs, maybe ooc, but who cares is bluecherry:

Winnie would write small love letters to Ace, before they were dating. But the love was so subliminal that he couldn’t figure so when she asked him if he read her letter he said “yeah, cool poem. you should show malleus.” AND SHE WAS LIKE “:(“

Ace would give her his jackets bc when he gets them back has her smell. Which is fresh fruity scent with caramel notes.

WINNIE ALREADY SLAP ACE, IDK EXACTLY WHEN BUT ITS FUNNY SO SHE DID LOL

she knows how to sing and loves story telling, so ace when ace cant sleep he asks her if he either can come over or she can try to send an audio (she is like an old lady trying to do so)

he doesn’t like pda, surprisingly but he is the type of guy who screams “THATS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!” Everytime she does something badass 🥹

Ace keeps demanding Whitney could be allowed to join a club instead of cleaning the school with the staff.

HE LEARNED HOW TO BRAID HAIR FOR HER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

i do think ace ask help for his big brother but he uses “a friend of mine” “you mean you, ace?” “A FRIEND OF MINE😡”

Double date daiggie and bluecherry would be iconic tho, like imagine Whitney and Daisy forgetting they have boyfriends in the middle of the date and start walking alone together awhile talking

@justm3di0cr3 ALSO WE COULD DO A POPEL AND BLUECHERRY DOUBLE DATE

BLUECHERRYYYYYY

*ahem* ok I'm fine I'm normal. ((I'm not

THEY'RE SOOOOOOOO CUTE AND WHOLESOME AND ADORABLE AND ARGH I NEED TO KISS THEIR FOREHEADS. THE HEADCANONS MADE ME GO INSANE. HER SINGING HIM LULLABIES OR TELLING STORIES FOR HIM TO GO TO SLEEP. HER BEING SHY ABOUT PDA. HIM BEING SUPER PROUD OF HER. DAIGGIE + BLUECHERRY DOUBLE DATE WHERE DAISY AND WINNIE FORGOT THEY'RE WITH THEIR BFS BC THEY'RE HAVING SM FUN TALKING.

THEY'RE MY EVERYTHING

[therealslimshakespeare]

I think it was partially just so surprised bc there's not a whole lot of Hambone stans on here and I'm so used to him being a background character in fics. I need more content like bad!

And then for one of my all-time favorite writers to also be interested in writing for him??? Sold. I do love that marriage of convenience fic that @steph-speaks did. About to go bug her over it. 😛

But you also said you'd be interested in writing Gerry! Do you have any headcanons or thoughts you've been steaming over that you want to touch on if you get around to writing for them? I know you're super busy with life so please don't feel like you have to rush on it. I'd wait for how ever long it took. 😂😎🩷

So glad you went and bugged her. She deserves all the love and bugging for that absolute masterpiece. I’m so fond of all our scheming screams before it was fully fledged into being, too!

Anyway. Yes amen we need more hambone.

I do indeed wanna write Gerry. Did yall know she worked for the circus for a bit? She also wrote some about his coming home and his nightmares and the adjusting to married life after such a short time together but she loved him and he loved her and they stuck at it for a gloriously long marriage.

I want to write a trifecta of reunions. Jean Crosby and Harry, (which I already have written) and then Margaret Blakely and Ev when he got his furlough, and then finally Gerry and Howard. And since these three ladies all roomed together for awhile, I need to write a wine night girl chat between them all about said husbands and what exactly they miss

[forbidding-souda]

Mod Souda!~ I have never requested fic before, this is entirely new territory so please forgive me if I misstep. ^_^; Could I please request HC's regarding Korekiyo x autistic S/O? I tried finding similar in the master list, alas I could not which is completely on me if I wasn't thorough enough.

A little afterword of gratitude also for your masterful works on Korekiyo in particular, the way you HC him is beautiful. He is my ultimate comfort character and your content is poignant for me. I also wish you the absolute best on finals and in life in general! (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)♡ I hope you are faring well. Thank you for all that you do here

Shinguuji Korekiyo with Autistic S/O

I've had this blog since quarantine so I can't even remember if I've written anything like this so I'm happy to write one for you regardless or not if it's a repeat.

Hai guys I don't have my edited sprites anymore bc I deleted them awhile ago so here's normal souda. Also if this is ass then my bad

hashtag actually autistic btw for anyone reading, i think it's right to share that when I write these ofc

okay mod souda behavior here where I say random stuff before each story but I'm watching impractical jokers rn and I don't know how some people watch this because the secondhand embarrassment is insane I literaly have to look away PLZZZ. This took an hour to write because half way through I started watching impractical joker clips on youtube (while the show is playing on the tv)

-Mod Souda

♥ He isn't a stickler about your interests. A good thing about being with him is that he won't make fun of you for anything you enjoy, no matter if he enjoys it himself or not. He'll never ask you to turn a movie off or to stop talking about something. He knows more than anybody else how isolating it can feel when somebody refuses to try and tolerate other people's passions; he would never put you down.

♥ He's naturally off-putting. If you experience people considering you off-putting then don't feel alone because Shinguuji is considered off-putting as well. He brushes off the negative things people thinks when it comes to himself, but when it comes to you and the negativity you face, it's hard for him to conceal how irritated he gets.

♥ I know some people have hyperfixations of like medieval torture methods so imagine how much he'd love that.

♥ ^ You also have the chance to teach him about really niche things, that's pretty sweet.

♥ ^ But I imagine that with some topics, he's gonna try and teach you about your own hyperfixation and it's gonna get annoying.

♥ He loves ur reactions to things. He gets so gushy-gushy and poetic. He likes finding what words make you smile, which ones make you laugh and which ones make you want to roll your eyes.

You stared back at him for a few seconds. He held an intense, filling gaze. The two of you were sitting on a park bench, facing the trees and enjoying the sounds of the birds. In between the conversation, there were moments of silence. Usually, he'd break them with small, unrelated sentences, but he's been quiet. "Korekiyo," you said quietly, a bit worried to startle him. To you, he was either in deep thought or, more humorously, sleeping with his eyes open. It took you to say it louder before he turned away. "My apologies," he smiled with a tilt of his head. His hair cascaded down his shoulder. His eyes went to the green leaves dancing in the wind. "We sit here in such a beautiful place, so lively. Most people would give their life away to view a sight like this." With no response, you just stared at him more, already knowing what he was going to say. He looked at you. "I've been all around the world and so I do not wish to waste my time looking at something I've seen before. You, however, do not come close to any of the beauties our world gives to us." "You love me so much, don't you?" You gave him a smile while his yellow eyes developed a look of interest: "You say that but do not realize that jests can be true words, too."

♥ If you need your alone time, he isn't going to stop you because he likes his, too. He knows that obviously you can be infatuated with somebody while also finding comfort in solitude.

♥ ^ And with that, he also has his own boundaries when it comes to where he goes whenever he wants solitude. He likes reading his books and analyzing his artifacts, all of which takes place in his study.

♥ ^ Yeah and don't touch his stuff because he is very protective of his collections. Therefore, he'd also never mess with something you own.

♥ If you're the type of person to have stuffed animals, and especially make them talk, he isn't going to pick up on that very quickly as means of a thing people still do. He'll give a history lesson as to 'ah yes, i've learned about this form of imagination within cultures of story telling, oral adventures'.

♥ Most of the time, he'll put your comfort over his.

♥ He'll stay up with you whenever you have trouble sleeping and are fully awake at 2am, no matter the cost. He is going to make sure that you know he is always there for you. He always has things to do.

♥ If you need help falling asleep, he'll do things like sing to you and let you watch videos in bed, whatever will make you most comfortable.

♥ He got some crazy eye contact btw I just want to put that out there.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

How do you interpret the Louis vampire transformation in the book, not the show. It seems very sexual from my understanding although Lestat is a complete a**hole. I'm starting to reread the books again it's been awhile.

…"Are we close to God when we create something out of nothing? When we pretend we are the tiny flame and we make other flames?"

nansorella, this question could be an essay answer 💗! I'm glad to hear you're rereading the books, definitely try to get through TOBT if you can, that's where the above quote came from. There's a lot of layers with Lestat giving the Dark Gift to Louis. But I'll try to keep this as short as I can, and we can always delve further in a follow up ;}

[^X by @xxhellonursexx, read the caption on that bc it's in line with my answer on this ask! Vampiric feeding could be compared to breastfeeding, but specifically their turning is really the most comparable, a child feeding on the nutrition from their parent's own body.]

Focusing on the book, yes, my reading is that it's intentionally very sexual (even complete a**holes can be capable of sex!). Since vampires can't get pregnant, the Dark Gift is their method of sexual reproduction; I would argue that it's the most intimate act they can perform. Yes Lestat is being more than a bit of an a**hole in that moment but I can excuse it partly bc it was AR's first time writing a vampire turning and Lestat was for sure the main antagonist in that story, so he had to be sassy/cruel even in what should have been a loving moment but that's another entire discussion. Ppl can be awful during the act of giving birth, too, so... yeah... I would also argue that the '94 movie softened that scene somewhat, Lestat was positively thrilled about doing it and wasn't awful to Louis (except for when he had to break away from Louis, but that's also comparable to childbirth, which has pain involved for sure, and then you can see how sexually gratified he is laying back and watching Louis transform after they separate so ANYWAY!).

Since Lestat has so many fledglings, it was kind of a fandom joke that every time X sound occurs, Lestat makes another fledgling... maybe it's because he gets so much pleasure out of performing the act itself, and, transforming someone into a vampire, he gains a kind of parental and creative ownership of that person. It's his blood in them, after all!

Louis describes the act of killing as being a celebration of his making, (my bold & italics emphasis added):

"Killing is no ordinary act," said the vampire. "One doesn't simply glut oneself on blood." He shook his head. "It is the experience of another's life for certain, and often the experience of the loss of that life through the blood, slowly. It is again and again the experience of that loss of my own life, which I experienced when I sucked the blood from Lestat's wrist and felt his heart pound with my heart. It is again and again a celebration of that experience; because for vampires that is the ultimate experience."

[X for a great gifset of this quote by @fetch-me-a-block]

And then in Tale of the Body Thief, Lestat's reflecting on the creation of Claudia in a similar way to how ppl talk about the creation of their children:

[^X St. Patrick’s Cathedral, NYC, 11/7/15.]

“I lifted the long wax wick, dipped it into an old flame, and carried the fire to a fresh candle, watched the little tongue grow orange and bright. What a miracle, I thought. One tiny flame could make so many other flames; one tiny flame could set afire a whole world. Why, I had, with this simple gesture, actually increased the sum total of light in the universe, had I not? …«But why, Lestat?» Because she was beautiful, because she was dying, because I wanted to see if it would work. Because nobody wanted her and she was there, and I picked her up and held her in my arms. Because it was something I could accomplish, like the little candle flame in the church making another flame and still retaining its own light - my way of creating, my only way, don’t you see? One moment there were two of us, and then we were three. …«Are we close to God when we create something out of nothing? When we pretend we are the tiny flame and we make other flames?»

That book has an undercurrent of Claudia haunting Lestat (possibly as a ghost, but possibly as just his own imaginary manifestation of her) and pestering him about why he created her, maybe trying to provoke him into an apology, and I feel like he's able to make peace with her in his ruminations about her in that book. This is why I encourage ppl to read the canon books, even on beyond the first 3, because there are gems like this that add a richness to the characters, we can explore them along with Anne Rice 💗💗💗

[ctrlhope]

HOSEOK IS HOMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

OHHHH MY GODDDDD!!!!!!!!

(updates below the cut lol) (also a sneak peak)

hiiiii!!! long time no talkkkkk my lovlies (＞ω＜)♡

first off-- an apology :(( im really sorry for just disappearing. i hate it, you guys hate it. i know :( it's really my worst flaw when it comes to writing / tumblr in general, haha~ i get rlly into something and hyperfixate on it (fun fact: bound by blood was written in like 3 days bc i got so into it lol), and then a gradual fallout until i feel burnt out. which then leads to the whole "omg i left for so long, now im anxious that everyone is gonna hate me when i come back and cause i haven't updated in so long and yadda yadda" when i actually want to come back LMAOOOO. which i know isn't true, but like, you know AKSNDK. So i hung out on my anime blog for a bit, then on discord, blah blah blah boring stuff!!

either way, i really am sorry for just dipping for so long. i always came back to check on this blog every once and awhile and to read stories. i really love the little community i built over here and i love all of you guys dearly. you really make this blog such a fun and enjoyable space for me so i hope you accept my apology and we can all still be fun and hang out and stuff <33 i missed you guys dearly.

THAT BEING SAID!!

I am back!! I was planning to come back for kinktober, actually, but unfortunately time just got away from me and I wasn't able to complete everything that I wanted to. This semester has been HECTIC!!! Senior thesis's are no joke, man, no joke. Feeding 600 spiders... every week.... BLEH!! (not cause of the spiders aksjhwfkh just cause it takes so long!! like!!)

That being said-- I don't have a current update schedule yet, just because I don't want to put too much pressure on myself again (burnout is a bitch!!) but~~ as of right now, I have plans for a "full comeback" (read: first fic) to come out the first week of November!! A little teaser of it will be at the bottom of this post too <33

Hopefully, if everything goes according to plan I will have a 'ficvember' (lol), where I post a fic every other week of November and December!! It is not set in stone (read as: I want to have a few fics lined up before I start just so I don't feel overwhelmed) but if everything goes according to plan, it will happen!! I'll make sure of it!!

I also plan to have a follower milestone soon, so stay tuned for an announcement post of that. I have lots of different things I want to do for it, I'm just not fully sure what you guys would like to see! I also updated my wips, so feel free to check them out to see what i've been working on!

But yeah!! Those are the plans so far!! To lay it out in a more organized manner:

November 1st: Chasing Tornados -> myg

November 2nd - 8th: Follower milestone announcement

November 15th, November 29th: New fic

Anyway! To wrap up this entirely too long post (I'm sorry, I'm terrible at shutting up), I truly am sorry for just leaving for so long. I have lots of plans in the works-- things I'm very passionate about and need to get out of my head before I explode, so new fics coming soon, I promise <333

Now, here's the reward I promised if you made it this far <33 I love u and we should kiss on the mouth freaky style <333

[suddencolds]

My heart went out to you with that poll you posted because:

I hope you know this deep down, but you don’t owe anyone anything with the fiction you’re writing for free in your spare time. It’s SO cool when people love what you write so much that they clamor for more, but that can create its own kind of stress. Producing Content here is not your job and it’s not an obligation. If you aren’t vibing with those characters atm, that’s so OK! That’s normal! You created them & they���ll be around when/if you cycle back to feeling passionate about them.

Thank you for thinking of me, anon!! Worry not, my desire to finish the series is a purely personal one 🫡 (Though you're right to say that on some level, I don't want to disappoint—hearing people's thoughts has been one of the things that's brought me the most happiness this year, out of all the different facets of my life 😭 which probably sounds a little pathetic LOL)

That said, I was pretty curious as to where people stood wrt pacing. I've gotten a lot of 'when will they get together?' comments, esp on the forum, so I've been wondering for awhile if it'd be best to be straightforward and end the series earlier than I'd planned to? Like, are people tired that this series has been going on for so long?

It's been interesting for me to see that the poll results mostly err on the side of continuing the slow burn :')

There's a certain major arc I've been planning to write since really early on the series (within the first couple installments) which I haven't gotten to yet... that I briefly considered cutting out entirely, bc it will take time, and idk if it will be well-received (or if I'm capable of writing it. Maybe it'd take like, another 30k words to write it in a satisfactory manner? Maybe the conclusion will feel like a cop out?). I'm still thinking about it 🫡

Ultimately, please feel assured that I am not forcing myself to write!! I'm ready to take another 5 month hiatus (or more, if I need) until I feel up to writing them again. I haven't lost interest in the characters at all; I think I've just been lacking in confidence 😭.

I do really appreciate your consideration, though, and I'll do my best to take my own wishes into account, too. Thank you for loving them :) 💛

[bumblingbabooshka]

yoooooo what do u think about tom and harry?

they are my little wet pathetic excuse of a man (non derogatory)

I like them! I don't think about them at all really bc my shipping mind for Voyager is only ever really occupied with b/7 or ships that involve Tuvok but here we go!

For Tom & Harry I think they're the kind of ship where I'd never read any fanfiction* for them bc I have a very specific type of characterization that makes it work for me wherein Tom is this sort of pathetic loser trying desperately to seem cool and Harry actually is cool sort of effortlessly even though he's kind of a nerd too. Harry is like everything Tom's dad would have wanted Tom to be and I'm sure that factors into their relationship somehow. Tom's weird jealousy around Harry and the girls Harry's into is interesting. Harry being an optimist and wanting desperately to go home while Tom is more prone to pessimism and doesn't care about going home or not because "What I have here is better than anything I ever had before" is interesting. You can see how different their lives are because of that outlook. Tom is honestly consistently more interested in Harry than he ever is in B'Elanna. He always wants to do things with Harry, he wants Harry to be there for everything he wants Harry to say they're best friends, he breaks into his quarters in the middle of the night, he's wild. I can absolutely imagine Tom thinking about Harry like 24/7 whereas Harry thinks about Tom a normal amount. They would have such a long stage where neither made a move because Tom is fighting his internalized homophobia with a baseball bat and Harry doesn't think Tom's into him. Harry tells Tom he's bisexual (Harry has been out for years) and Tom reacts immediately with the "Are you into me???" thing and Harry's like "=_= No." and Tom's like "KIDDING!!! Don't be such a wet blanket, Kim~!!" hard cut to him lying awake at night. Why isn't he into me????? Why???? His jealousy increases tenfold. If Harry's into guys and he likes me then why isn't he INTO me what is it ABOUT me??? No B'Elanna I can't go on a date with you I have to write a Very Telling Captain Proton episode. Eventually (after like a month of weirdness) Harry's like "Tom. What is this??? Are YOU into ME??" and Tom's like "NO!!! Are you kidding me??" smashcut to Tom lying awake at night. Am I into Harry???? Oh my God am I into Harry??? Tom is terrible at sex. However I can imagine him being much more romantic with Harry than he was with B'Elanna - just bc he thinks about him more. Very elaborate date ideas which he spends a lot of time thinking of. Harry's like "I would have been fine with just a regular dinner" <- He's laughing, he thinks its fun. While Tom's like "This IS a regular dinner...in a recreation of your favorite concert hall as a celebration of your recital for that new composition you wrote. By the way, there's a competition for best clarinet player and I have a feeling you're gonna win ;)" I think they'd work well together. I can see them breaking up after Voyager but still being good friends OR them breaking up and getting back together a few times. Tom has a lot of self-esteem issues which I think could lead to jealousy, cheating-y behavior (Ex: Trying to make Harry jealous bc Harry was talking to someone and Tom thinks Harry might like that person more Read: Tom doesn't think he deserves Harry and that it's a foregone conclusion that Harry will leave him) or an excessive need for reassurance (Ex: "Jokes" about how Harry will leave him) which I think Harry would be annoyed by even though he'd of course try to be understanding and patient and talk things out. Tom hasn't shown himself to love emotional vulnerability. Like B'Elanna said, "You act like nothing affects you and turn everything into a joke." Harry seems more mature than that so I'm sure that sort of behavior would wear on him after awhile.

Harry blows Tom's mind the first time they have sex and Tom blabs about it the first chance he gets. Goes directly to sickbay for just this purpose. Doc: Do my visual processors deceive me or is Tom Paris actually arriving on time to his duty shift? Tom: [with the most pep one can have in their step] You might need to check my back doc I'm pretty sure the golden boy blew it out last night. *I think fanfics for them would just make Harry a woobified 'gosh you're so cool Tom' softboi virgin and Tom a rugged top who's great at sex which is wrong. Tom is terrible at sex. He's never ate a woman out, he's never been pegged, he only makes his partner finish like half the time if we're being generous and he's out like a light after he's done. You don't have to do the first two to be good at sex those are just other true facts about Lieutenant Tom Paris.

[zukkacore]

I want the director’s cut of. Honestly the entirety of if you want divinity. I’ll take whatever you’re willing to talk about. I need to just stare out a window for awhile. I feel like crying. Wow. Amazing story stunning stunning stunning.

HELLO FRIEND SCREAMS thank you so much you know how meaningful it is that people like. Like my writing and engage with it and you've been so sosososo incredibly sweet. Sorry yours took the longest, I was trying to think of something to say bc apparently there's a word limit on these things. Boo. I would totally do a total annotated doc otherwise bc im cringe but i went over like a LOT of the references stuff in Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 which honestly. Might be a lot of the process.

Imma see if I have any other notes off the top of my head:

THE POSTER: ok, so. The WEAKNESS IS PAIN LEAVING THE BODY poster. Obviously that's a bit of an ironic joke. That wasn't even really supposed to be there. I'm realizing i kept in the draft the fact that Jace makes the picture frames on Porter's desk rattle. And actually, during the implied Cassandra Divine Intervention scene where the poster falls, was originally supposed to be one of the pictures on the desk. I... couldn't justify it. I was like. idk whats weird n whats not to have as a framed picture on your desk if you're a teacher.

I'm like. Genuinely I think one of my biggest flaws as a writer is sensory detail, description, like maintaining characters geography w/in a space. King of white wall syndrome. At the bare minimum, I do think there's this kinda funny old vs. new feeling regarding Jace's belongings, his home, etc. Or like. I guess not kitsch but like something mass market vs. very old and traditional. Like the couch in my head like something small, ugly and modern, like very minimalist and kinda uncomfortable, and something a lot of people would own. But there's also the grandfather clock in the corner—to me that's also something that was passed down like the brooch. The brooch, moon n stars, obviously n heirloom—he's has like old roots in fallinel, his family is of Galicaean faith. But also The brooch is described in the same scene as the mug Porter keeps, and it's the most generic millenial like mass market slogan thing you've ever seen. There's this like. Presence of his family's influence even if he doesn't speak to them. But also a life that's. Kinda on autopilot.

I.... i always feel like I'm patting myself on the back abt this. I do really like the Detect magic + Teleport meld. I think it was clever. I'm telling myself that's ok to say. Mainly b/c it was a good solution to two problems. And a little bit b/c I think it's romantic to rip through space and time for someone. Again, I keep joking that he loved Porter to the point of invention (something i only feel self congratulatory about bc he did it in canon first).

Anyway. I was struggling SO HARD on what to do about these flashback scenes and i've said this before but like they were so close to being on the cutting room floor. I just felt like i couldn't justify them in something that was meant to be kinda... fun? Haha. "fun" IYWD. As if. The Detect thoughts i think helped with what to do about inserting those flashbacks, which i think helped resolve my problem of them feeling pointless b/c its like. It's not for our benefit, it's literally the memories weighing on Porter at like all times. They hang over everything.

The Teleport part was bc i was like. Ok. This is the biting maiming killing dropping during sex couple. If there's a question of "you can do anything you want to me", there HAS to be an escalation of stakes. But also this doesn't feel like a story that necessitates like. A lot of violence in their kinkplay I guess? When there's so much else going on, there's so much like about mourning and the violence already inflicted on Jace twofold that's actually a source of guilt for his horrible evil loser boyfriend porter. I already went through a LOT of contrivance just to get them into Porter's office (i think the fucking in porter's office jokes are fun, sue me), but I also was like. Ok. I think I need to go bigger by going smaller. If he changes the spell to rip through time, there's this like—doubling that makes it so on some level they're basically recreating their first time. Which i think makes the kinda silly vanilla (with little bit of mind reading lol) mundanity of that last part hopefully work

Fun Fact: the "I actually kinda miss you, aint that peculiar" "I'm right here" scene is the first one I wrote. It was basically the basis for everything. As it existed then, it was wayyyyy different tho. The tone was actually a lot more hostile. The patching up injuries thing actually came in way later and i was super embarrassed bc i was like that's so cliche but now i like it b/c i think there's such a Ratgrinders haunt the narrative thing about it. A Jace Cares and that's the thesis of Porter's grief thing about it.

The "there it is, the line" "you're so weird" into he never wants porter to stop saying mystifying things to him. Like. Completely changed the trajectory of what was going on almost by accident. Like. It literally wasn't until that moment that i was like. Oh. Oh. He wants porter to stay. B/c like

I see so much of the 1st half of the story as Jace like. Using Porter's want for him as a way to satisfy his own wants and needs. He wants pleasure after denying himself. But he also needs to live. I keep saying he's using sex as a tool b/c i really think he is—he wants to be so good porter can never live without him. And on level one, that's about making sure he's indispensible. Making sure he stays alive. But the second thing thats buried under there is more of a want—for Porter to stay with him. And that changed it from Jace actually fighting to have the upper hand and in some ways even getting Porter on the back foot to it being like. Actual desperation.

How many Jaces are in this story? Good question. Pre and post shatterstar for sure, but also we only see Pre in flashbacks so they're more like Porter's perception of pre. The clones are implied but do not make an appearance. And obviously after the first 5, the other jaces w/in 8 Jace thesis are more concepts in people's heads (and also one of them is 25). The Jace of Porter's memory is definitely there. The Jace Porter thought he would get after the shatterstar also haunts the scene. too. It's jaces all the way down.

Idk if it makes sense my logic behind this but. There's Porter complimenting Jace when he's really raw and vulnerable and messy and its like. Jace's response is that it's unfair. And b/c there's so much talk abt justice and unfair in FHJY i was like. Can. there be an instance in which something is unfair in a good way? Like. In that you're the one being treated unfairly at the expense of everyone else. Like. almost like. Sometimes you can be unfair in that you're easier on your friend than you might be on someone else. That's not fair, but like. That's human. Like if something is unfair you might be getting an advantage on something you didn't earn. But you don't have to earn love, but the fact that Jace didn't have to work for it, he feels like he's getting something too easily. It's unfair. In a good way.

I've said this before but I do think Porter is able to come to some sort of synthesis about Jace. And that he was maybe able to even conceive of the totality of him b/c of how the flashbacks are laid out. Like. in the first one he's unpalatable and angry and a disappointment to the memory of Jace that Porter imagined. In the second one he's sort of perfect, the scene too short and precious and romanticized to be muddied by real flaws in his mundanity and simplicity. And in the last one, Jace is mundane, flawed, overworked, overly familiar with his students, willing to play favorites, but also empathetic, good at making connections, ultimately well meaning and trying his best. Someone real, that's Porter's favorite. It's up to interpretation i think. esp bc like.

Counterpoint: I think you could also read that. Porter seems to love this Jace more the way a god loves their creation than the way a man loves another man. Like. yeah they're suckin n fuckin but also Porter being in to the fact that jace is "so trusting" is very. Helio always has a plan and i let him take the wheel, no? He's moved by Jace's devotion. Jace will take that tho. He'll take it all.

Final point: if brennan says that anything his PCs do can become fair game for him, then same for me. If Adaine n Aelwyn can use dimension door to go to her parents house / aelwyn's apartment despite the distance, that's fair game for me to misuse it < 3. (i just think if i'd allowed for the teleport it would've made way more sense to go to someone's house. And llike. that's no fun at all

I might rb with more thoughts later to be a menace. Thank you!

[its-all-papaya]

🧽 the dishes - time to tell people more about gentle with the ache !!

I did my dishes (literally just coffee tumblers) AND my roommates' dishes (a lot more than that) bc i'd been passive aggressively ignoring everything that's not mine for a week, but i simply don't want mold in our sink, so. double points or smth

↠ please make me do my chores

charlie i'm taking this as your cry for help & your reminder to me that now that this fic is in the universe, i can complain about it to EVERYBODY and not just you.

gentle with the ache.... the precious newborn baby.... time to dissect her already.... she almost killed me ! honestly, I started this fic like.... awhile ago? two weeks ago i think maybe? which i know is not long for a fic, but it is long for MY standards as a writer bc i was devoting all of my writing time to it and it just. took so mf long to get anywhere. lestappen was a much harder dynamic for me to attempt than landoscar, because (as i've said), i see big parts of myself in both lando and oscar, so writing them is half the time just drawing on my own emotions. max and charles are REALLY not like me very much at all (i don't got that dawg in me), so i had to think through like... literally almost every piece of dialogue and every interaction for 1000 years. i was listening to 90 minute charles leclerc podcasts at 2am while doing work for my day job, i was reading lestappen on ao3 like i was doing a research project, i was in the TRENCHES trying to get inside either of their heads and in the end, i still feel like it's kind of just... out there? idk. i hope YOU all like it, but i'm almost hesitant to reread it now because i'm afraid i'll find one million things that still don't feel quite right.

the other thing about this fic is that it has literally over 1k of deleted stuff that is mostly just me writing poetry about lestappen's dynamic. I think it served the fic alright tbh, like a character study for me internally, but i had to trash some prose i was TRULY obsessed with for the sake of the plot and the mood.

last thought on this fic is that it hurt kind of deeply at first because i'm a maxiel truther and EYE was freaking out about the helicopter vid when it dropped in the opposite way as charles bc ricbull renaissance would bring tears to my eyes. if you read gentle with the ache and think 'hm, charles is kind of saying some nice stuff about max and daniel despite being Weird about the way events are unfolding?' that's just me unable to kill the maxiel that lives permanently inside me.

okay, if you like this fic, everyone say 'thank you charlie' to @fear8not1 because i promised to burn it to the ground and trash it and memory wipe formula one out of my brain like every other day the entire time it was being written because i was so mad about it, but she talked me off the ledge and we got there eventually !

ty <3

[superfluouskeys]

📥💖🤔🧠 for the fanfic ask game!!! :3

📥 What is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?

I tbh still get extra happy when I get comments on my ffxiv fics! Idk I guess bc they were in a much bigger fandom than I'm used to and they were from awhile ago now I'm always like awww!!!! on my humble catboy fan fiction!!!!!!!!

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

I think my dialog(ue) is really good, and it's really easy for me to write usually! What's funny is dialogue used to be really hard for me, and it always felt really stiff and unnatural, but idk I just kept working at it until I had an insane voice in my head that wakes me up and says "that character would have said it this way :/" so you know. pros and cons.

🤔 What is the hardest part of writing fic?

Conceptualizing The Structure 😩😩😩 I think the hardest part for me these days is just like, I know all (or at least most of) the elements I want but I need them to fit together and flow and build in the way that I want, and that's not always an easy thing to gauge for yourself. This is the hardest part about my writing for work/school also lol i spent an inordinate amount of time pacing around my kitchen Conceptualizing The Structure which sounds like bullshit but I have to do it or I can't Conceptualize The Structure.

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

After replaying DA:I a tiny part of my brain is back in the solavellan hell swamp -- when I was playing Trespasser I chose the romance option that was like 'we have to save him!!!!!" and almost every companion was like GREATLY DISAPPROVES LOL and basically I just thought it would be fun to write about the fallout of Solas leaving and all her friends being fucking done with her shit LOL!

Fanfic Ask Game!

[stunie]

GOAT HAHAHA NOOO ITS A DEER AND SO TRUE IT WAS TRULY ANNOYING!!! I REMEMBER WHEN THAT PATCH WAS RELEASED THEY HAD TO NERF THE DEER LOLL and yess i hope you enjoy omg !!! do share your thoughts as you continue playing hsr,, i love reading your cute posts <333 it lowkey brings back my own brainrot since lord knows i haven't opened that game in awhile ( irl responsibilities breaking my back 😞)

also don't be afraid of any possibile mischaracterization!!! knowing you, you’d definitely hit the mark no matter what <3 do it at your own pace and we WILL be awaiting and ready to devour whatever you choose to share ‼️

aand yess i like jing yuan !!!! (too much for my own sanity.. he had me doing rituals and shit back in feb for me to get him (after making me loose my 5050 AND THEN coming at like 82 something pity 💔 but thankfully i got his lc on accident at 12 pity so.. i forgave him)) but truly he's so adorable i really used to log in just to stare at him for awhile and then log out.. IT WAS BAD FOR ME HAHAHAH && yes you're right he's absolutely sweet, the sweetest of them all. his idles are so adorable too 😞 cute sparrows always around him.. he's so.. heart eyes..

have you met bailu yet? jy always goes to meet her once a year under the guise of a full body checkup which he most definitely doesn't need (bailu’s words) and brings with him the most delicious foods from all over the loufu that bailu loves 😭😭 bailu usually runs away from the commission where she’s strictly kept so this is basically her getting a whole day as a break where she can happily eat all the delicious food as much as she wants and jy also asks about how she’s doing and her health and stuff LIKEEE i swear you think you can't fall more in love with him AND THEN HE PROVES U WRONG 😭😭💔

i'm sorry for rambling too much TT

🤍🤍🤍^ ^ HIHI

ITS A DEER. OOPS. THEY ALREADY NERFED THE DEER ?? NO BC AS SOON AS I SAW “phase 2” AND THE HEALTH WENT UP I WAS LIKE nooooooo stoppp😭😭😭 ur so sweet sjsjsnmdm im glad those posts are fun!! most of my friends in uni don’t play / watch anything so i only have u all to share the chaos with🥺

EEEE AAAAA i’ve been so excited to write for them !! i’m still able to write for wind breaker… but it’s been taking me a lot longer. for hsr i literally cranked out an entire drabble in under an hour— without pausing to take a break and rewatch scenes for inspo or anything !! i had a lot of fun with that one :’) ur so sweet hsmsmsndn ughhh i love you

IM GONNA BE HONEST I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT U SAID ABOUT THE NUMBERS AND STUFF BUT LFGGG 🎉 U GOT HIM THOIGH THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!! please you’re so cute talking about him like that :’) i have to learn his character for u anon omg. i must. THE SPARROWS SHSMMS he was so gentle with them too !!! and he looked so peaceful gardening n all. so excited. i love your love for him

BAILU? IS THAT THE DRAGON NURSE? i met her i think !!! and are you fr. that is the cutest thing i’ve read all day. an unnecessary full body check up and he brings snacks and gives her a well deserved break ): please ): i love this planet a lot. they’re all so cute

ALSO THANK U FOR TALKING TO ME SJSJMSM YOU’RE SO SWEET. NEVER APOLOGUZE FOR RAMBLING !!! I LOVE TALKING A LOT

[thedeviljudges]

ok so maybe a tl;dr kinda post. it's me just writing down my thoughts about the apartment stuff.

tagging @clawbehavior @technitango in case yall wanted an update too!!

so i technically started my apartment hunt last year when i thought i was moving, and while i did realy love two places (owned my the same company so the floor plans were the same) - mainly bc of the amount of light it had from window set up, for the amount of sq ft you got for the price, it just didn't and still doesn't make sense.

but with those in mind and also touring apartments with my friend who was planning to move in this month, there's been a lot to choose from. there's another apartment on my list that another friend lives at, but i think ultimately it's similar to the two above where the price you get for the space isn't the cheapest, especially for what i need.

which led me two the last two apartments i toured today. starting with the second one:

the price is fantastic for the space (ideally need a 2 bedroom or a 1 bed with den/study; i'm hybrid for work). the place was fine. gated and really close to a major area of shops. the biggest issue is the visitor parking - it's all at the front of the complex, and there's only about 25 spaces to which the leasing agent said they're full most of the time. i also didn't get the wow feeling with it. it was just okay. i really wish i would've loved it bc on paper, it would've been great.

but the first place we toured? it's the apartment that had a great unit for the perfect pricing that someone snatched up two days ago (that i posted about a few days ago), and i'm so upset about it because this place is perfect. that unit was a 1 bed with study, but there's no more available so my next option is a 2 bedroom. i can afford it, technically, but it also means with utilities, my car note and other expenses, i won't have much left over each month for casual spending, etc.

which isn't necessarily a bad thing. so many people are in that position right now given the economy. and this wouldn't be that expensive if i didn't have my car note - so my options are to suck it up and go for the space and just be extremely frugal for awhile - with the intention of moving my banking to a credit union and try to apply for refinancing there, which would hopefully lower my interest rate and loan payment on my car.

i'm also inclined to go for this space because i truly fell in love with it. it's exactly what i need; the community is great. it's gated and safe, and i love everything about it, and it's one of the only properties that i truly felt i could live there and enjoy it. i'm also someone that is very intuitive, and this just feels right - like deep down i think i know i won't really be that happy anywhere else. and i hate to hype it up so much bc i know i could move in and end up hating it, but i truly think this may be it?? i'm just so hesitant because of the price. i feel really stupid for even considering it because i feel like what i should be doig is being more sensible, find a smaller place and save money - especially bc if i go with the bigger unit, it also leaves me with not very much to put into savings.

i have a quote, but i've seen the prices online fluctuate, so i'm going to test my luck to see if it'll drop down to a lower rate. if someone nabs the unit before me, then i'll probably forfeit the need for a bigger space, go smaller and then see if i can move into a bigger unit the following year. i would hate to do that because i really want to separate my work from my personal space (this is a big deal for me given my last toxic work environment), and it's easier to do that with a den/study or two bedroom, but i really love the place enough to consider a year there with a smaller unit and then potentially move within the same complex. like, it will suck not having the space i want and not being able to completely remove work (my desk would either have to go in the living room or bedroom, and bc my desk is in my bedroom right now, that's also a big no. i highly do not recommend putting work where you sleep). but i think i could hold out for another year bc i think i'll just be excited to have my own space.

so that's where i'm at right now tbh. i think i'm set on the apt complex; now it's just choosing the unit.

*i should also note that if i got a 2 bedroom unit on the 2nd or 3rd floor, that would be cheaper. my ideal is the first floor bc i've lived on the first floor in my current place, and i'm so used to it. i could possibly do a 2nd floor unit since it'd be less stairs to climb, but it's also not ideal.

[jeonstudios]

hi author I wanted to come and appreciate ur work for dc! 14 was so good and I’m so happy oc stood up for herself, my friend went thru SA and a lot of bullying so when I read for a awhile I was wondering why Jks previous actions were getting swept under the rug :,( it made me upset bc a lot of stories that contain this content tend to overshadow the lasting effects words can also have on ppl and my friend has had to go thru therapy bc of what happened.

when oc shed her feelings to him I cried bc I also got bullied for my body in ms and hs and I’m so proud of her for being able to tell him straight. I remember when I was first reading JKs character was so cruel to her and it was so disgusting so I’m glad it’s being brought up again. And I understand the pain of liking someone so much but knowing/feeling that they could never like u back.

A part of me doesn’t feel like JK actually likes her despite what he says. I feel maybe it’s more of a trauma bond way or to make up for what he did which makes it worse. The 180 was just too much for me and I do think he has good intentions and doesn’t want to hurt her but his apology for what he did was not… just wasn’t good…

especially if their becoming for romantic I could never want to be around him thinking I disgusted him before and always be ashamed. It hurts sm to like someone so beautiful but to not feel beautiful yourself bc of that person.

I’m nervous that she’s leaving bc she could get hurt so hopefully her friends help protect her, it staying away from jk is the best rn maybe jimin could stay with her 🤷🏻‍♀️

also sorry if I made u sad reading this lol I was just in my feeling and me and my friend are a lot better now haha. Just reminded me of her and I and what we went thru.

ur writing is so well done and felt everything that she felt and although I went thru that i can tell u that from ur other works I’ve read before have also made me feel deeply despite not having been in those situations bc ur writing is so well done and the way u put the sciences together is just so amazing!! Anyways luv u author!

✍️

hello!! thank you so much! yeah, i hope not too many people stopped reading, thinking it wouldn't be brought up again 🥲 i know i would be a changed person if i had to experience what reader did, not only the sa, but how they treated her after (jk definitely included). therapy is certainly something i think would be good for reader, but i'm not sure she's "ready" for that yet. it definitely took a lot of courage for her to face him and tell him what she felt, and in a way, face her own flaws? to bring them up and reopen her own wounds? because how is she supposed to believe he wants anything to do with her when he said all those things? how is she supposed to trust him when he intentionally hurt her so badly? it's definitely not far-fetched to think he just feels guilty and like she thinks, wants to make it up to her in a way? because, yeah, he wasn't very convincing... and it would honestly suck, being with someone who you know knows all of your flaws and have pointed them out and more, while they're attractive as hell... so it's understandable that she left. but who knows what'll happen next? 😳 and dw, i'm just glad that you like the story and it made you maybe feel something. i don't want to bring up bad memories for anyone but if reading this story can help anyone just a little, then that's more than enough for me. i really only wanted to write a story with "real" problems like sexism and such and of course without offending any survivors. thank you so much! <3<3