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zzencat · 7 months ago

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Your Future Spouse As A Mythical Creature + Qualities - ⏳

Welcome to the spooky season folks!! Thought this would be a pretty lightweight and goofy type of reading as we settle in. What are your FS’s qualities? Toxic habits?

Choose wisely. Applicable to future lover or spouse.

Warnings: super long read, suggestive comments (bordering NSFW), some exaggerated details for the fun of it (but the theme and characteristics are still consistent otherwise), toxic tendencies

🥀 THE RITUAL: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out.

———————————————————————

Pile 1 | The Werewolf

Perfectionistic as hell, likely a planner

The horniness comes and stays fellas…

Extremely careful before decision making, yet impatient (more mentally)

Hides what they really feel. Has a hard time expressing their emotions through words, so your person (well, half-person) shows you instead

Might be wealthy or does very well w/ business or business partners

ALWAYS thinks before they act

very PRIMAL tendencies; will bust major nuts when persuading you to be bred…literally. the need to breed you can become suffocating as it seeps into small actions of daily life. will never stop bugging you about it. eventually, these efforts will increase and become more desperate (but hey, if you like that, go for it 😳)

^^the thought of having a family with you gets them down real bad

EXTREMELY overprotective and possessive over how revealing your clothes might be. don’t be surprised if they finally let you out of the house after you choose to wear a hazmat suit

• will do anything for you!!!! provide food, shelter, money… as long as you depend on them, they feel at their highest.

•^^ this can also indicate an incessant need for control and control over you as well

• typically chooses the safe route; sticks to routes they’re already familiar with and practicality

•^^polite with people or at least acts like a civil person, but is easily misjudged regardless

• kind of old school and can be boring; follows reserved traditions very well

• actually is a beast in the sheets, but prob only does vanilla positions

• is very, very hesitant about letting you go out at night and will bust balls to get you to stay inside

• can get overly paranoid over small things that can potentially harm you

slow, sensual, deep lovemaking sometimes—rough and wild, sloppy and fast at others—just totally unable to control themselves. this is bc they exercise so much control during the day that nights leading up to the full moon, or on the night of, are relentless. Also likes doin’ the dirty in the kitchen (i also see boiling soup and an apron if those have any significance)

grumpy in the morning hahaha. grumpy when you order them to do anything for you, but they’ll do it anyway

When they love, they LOVE. Extremely big hearts and easily empathetic, but never/rarely shows it

for some reason, your fs has a solution or piece of advice for every problem in existence

strong or bold looking, big and broad, intimidating, or a very tall person. might have a resting bitch face

a very good listener

• full moons are equivalent to menstrual cycles where their senses are heightened by tenfold, sensitive to everything in their surroundings (ex: ears perk up to sounds as unnoticeable as leaves rustling…), more emotionally reactive, a ceaseless desire for sex everyday—which gets worse as the full moon approaches 🙈—hastier movements, increased moodiness and appetite, goes out hunting more often. 50/50 have a messier diet or a more strict one

• structured or routined day to day

• has probably talked/will probably talk about raising a family with you at least once, becoming more adamant about it over time

• can seem very insensitive or come off as an asshole at times

• EXTREMELY observant; almost nothing gets past their eyes. It’s almost like an intense OCD thing. Pretty sure a lot of FS in this pile are control freaks or have very specific triggers

• can smell when you’re aroused. if you deal with periods, they know exactly what phase you’re in and keep track of monthly cycles. this is also how they can keep an eye on your fertility and “breedability” levels. likely to show clinginess during these times and try to make moves on you. (it’s a manipulation tactic, don’t fall for it!! 😳)

•^^when you get aroused, they get aroused. they’ll decide to make a move depending on the circumstances

• they have good control and discipline over themselves in general. But they’re still prone to control issues, esp over other people, or obsessiveness

Definitely an overthinker. They don’t like to be vulnerable emotionally. It’s very hard to get close to this person, and even harder to open up

doesn’t care about your “flaws” and doesn’t notice until you point them out; will be genuinely surprised to hear you have insecurities, bc to your fs, there’s no such thing. they don’t understand how you could feel that way about yourself or certain things about yourself

In some kind of leadership role (in work, relationship, or the home) or in a high enough position to give and support. Dominant in the sheets—stubbornly prefers to be

Loves to travel or would travel more if they could

Extremely adaptable and an all rounder; does well under pressure and in uncomfortable situations/environments

Likes bantering and stirring things up on purpose sometimes. Sometimes they’re feelin kinda bratty and will instigate. They fight just to fight. They’re usually quiet, reserved, or introverted

• deep down they know this and they’d even admit it to you if you asked, but they’d be totally onboard with you never going outside again and just staying in the house (it’s a possessive wolf thing maybe)

• you might not know at first, and they might not show it evidently, but they love sad karaoke songs or sad songs overall

Primary love language: Acts of service, physical touch, quality time, and gift giving

• *sniffs you with suspicion* “…that’s not my scent…”

• standing watch over you when you use a knife to cut vegetables — says, “are you sure you don’t need my help?” at least 5x in 2 mins, and still doesn’t leave after that

• stare wars with birds on a pole bc they felt offended by the birds staring first

• randomly, abrupt howling on some nights

“You take what I give you”

Acts as your personal bodyguard- will actually fight anyone for you

• loves to smell around your neck area- that shit kinda tickles tho

• (if your werewolf is male): “change out. that’s too revealing. you know men are dogs.” (lmfaooo? says who, the werewolf??)

• scolds you like a damn parent because you went outside at night for a few minutes to get some fresh air

• massages your thighs and feet

• physical contact is a must for them when watching movies with you

—————————————

Pile 2 | The Vampire

• “I ‘vant tu zuck yur blud.”

• a bit of a vanity monster (as most vampires are.) they like the way they look, and also care about how they present themselves to other people and most importantly, looking hot as hell in front of you, maybe too much at times. but from your pov, they really don’t have to try. they’re just naturally…wow. Breathtaking. HOWEVER!!! They use it to their advantage.

• Actual sass-squashes. They’re sassy and for no reason, but you can’t take them seriously when they are 😂😂

• intentionally AND unintentionally funny. like those characters on Disney channel shows that are like “oh yeah? try me” and then some bigger, buffer person comes in and they flinch a little. if you squint, you’ll catch a gulp in there too. it’s funny. endearing even. but they gotta own up to their mistakes and tone down on overcompensating. If there’s one thing they do, it’s to make up for what they don’t have.

• L-O-Y-A-L….by the time they get with you, at least. they might’ve had an…interesting reputation in the past. they might seem selfish bc of it—which is partially true. they can charm people to get what they want. They might/might have had a history of partying, hella socializing, hanging out w/ friends whenever they could (haha get it? hanging out? yk…vampire stuff…)

A total charmer and a flirt. They like to bicker and tease you; playful,, sometimes it’s cute…others, kinda annoying

• if you talk to this person seriously and in a calm and diplomatic manner, they’ll get a little defensive, yes, but A LOT less so than if you were yelling and screaming at them outright. if you both just sit down on the edge of the bed, tilt your head to a 45 degree angle and show your concerns, they’ll reflect and maybe deflect here and there, but they’ll think about it throughout the day.

• I think this person goes through varying phases of heat. (Prob not even the right word here but-) By that I mean, sometimes they wanna get down and dirty for 30 hours straight or just session after session after session nonstop—OR they take what they need and leave for a couple hours, come back again, take, and leave. This is odd at first, but it just comes with the moodiness they inherently have, possibly sticking to them from the past life. They might have suffered with commitment issues, and I don’t mean them per se, but the people around them that didn’t know how to love: family, friends, anyone that was close and left abruptly or never showed love. (Made me a lil sad there...)

• Love is complicated. They didn’t believe in it before and was confident they wouldn’t ever. But when you ask them “What do vampires think about love? Are you allowed to love?”, they turn their heads, take a moment to skim over your face in silence. Love…is what I’m feeling with you. They want to admit this, but vampires can’t feel. Would you even believe them? They don’t even know what love is. They don’t even feel heartbeats anymore, but for some reason, when you look into their eyes like that, there’s a different kind of pulsing. A surge of desire that courses through them, screaming at them to keep you forever. They can’t ever let you go now.

•^ This leads us to possessiveness. They are…*phew* VERY possessive and very dramatic/petty/easily sulky about it. You’ll lose your mind over it. If you do something as simple as shopping, they will follow. Too insistent and stubborn not to. What if you encounter another vampire living among the humans during the day, and suddenly, said vampire wants you too? Sure, they get burnt with a bit of sun, so what? They’d evolved enough to wear a million layers of sunscreen and a million layers of clothing over that, all dressed up like a moving heap of clothes. They care about how others might see them like this, of course, but in moments like these, they don’t care when you’re on the line.

• they’ve never really had their emotions looked at carefully or taken care of. It’s always just been brushed off, not only by themselves but by others as well. I personally wouldn’t doubt if they claimed to never have had real friends or friends that cared about the inside substance rather than the outer. Your fs just seems like they’re trying to fit in, be accepted and validated. You wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance, but as you gradually get to know them, you’ll find that their heart is barely being held together by makeshift glue.

Very in tune with their inner divine feminine energy,, not afraid to tap into it and explore that side more

Not that emotionally developed but has major potential to with the right teacher

Nurturing and caring, but might be materialistic or putting too much importance on the material/physical pleasures. Truly lives for the fun of it

Works hard, plays hard—and will shamelessly chase you

Knows exactly what to say and do that will rile you up. Knows all of your weak spots physically

Down to try anything and everything with you, no complaints

Sensual and passionate personality and in the sheets

Super open minded and curious, easygoing and has no expectations. Makes a lot of jokes too.

Daring, optimistic, brave and believes in no limits (but bc of this, they can be seen as naive or have an innocent nature inside.) Gets in half-fights/arguments w/ people for fun

A total switch in bed; can and literally will do/try anything

Now, dare I say…the FS for this pile have the best rizz and sex game

Some fs in here can get too naggy

They have a great fashion sense or an overwhelming appreciation for fashion, beauty, or aesthetics, and is more than willing to be involved in your fashion styles

Red flag moment: solves problems in your relationship w/ sex so that yall will just forget it and move on

In hindsight, this FS is so flamboyant or charming that you could get lost in what they’re trying to express. They’ve got very fiery energy (betting rn that they have extremely prominent fire sign placements).

P.S. yeah after writing this out and reviewing the format, seeing all the back and forth…pile 2 FS def has a perfection mask thing going on. They wanna make themselves appealing in one way or another, or the consequences will just break them into pieces. The last thing that they want is to be alone.

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Pile 3 | The Fairy

Alas, we’ve gotten to arguably the most healthy future spouse here out of the 3 😅 (and the most intuitive)

Introspective as hell and wise. Helps you with really anything

They’re ok w/ being alone; most introverted of the piles

Positive, hopeful, and optimistic when it comes to others. More pessimistic when it comes to themselves.

Balanced and a good mentor; suuuper patient (a lot of times to a fault)

Learns from their losses and mistakes and becomes a better person, improving almost immediately

Mediator type of person, but will defend you against others in argument—which they’ll win btw

They don’t like seeking help from others—if anything, your FS is usually the helper—even when they can ask for help right in front of them- even if it’s recommended to get help, they still won’t do it

Hella infj vibes tho (if you’re into mbti)

Every show of love is their love language. Bonus points if they wear matching clothes or secretly write poems to you that they’ll never tell you about

This future spouse group has the cheesiest and the sweetest person

Your person can lead a life more flexible financially than the other 2 piles

Also an all rounder! But thinks that they aren’t perfect when they literally are; struggles with their own low self-esteem so they try to build other people up

Putting others before themselves is second nature- they ALWAYS prioritize you or others; extremely selfless

^^Now, each fairy got a different role and purpose. The reasoning for your fs being overly selfless and self-sacrificial varies. The easy answer? Insecurity. Second? Obligation or a sense of duty. The list goes on…

They’ve got that Triple A Threat: Amazing Ass Adaptability. Your person has been thru quite a bit, hell and back. Sometimes, life just likes to mess with them for no apparent reason 🤷🏻‍♀️)

They’re always ready to face challenges; Incredibly strong person. They’ll be with you thru thick and thin!!

Strong sense of justice and equality. OH- and also they like traveling or would like to travel more!

A literal inspiration and hope (yes, with sparkles on top.) Not only do they inspire others, but your person—no matter how rock bottom you get—will never leave you.

gets jealous and easily possessive but doesn't wanna show it (shit's still pretty obvious tho)

The type that babbles their heart out when they get comfy with you. They don’t get like this with just anyone

Likely likes museums and art. Things that the media typically deems boring, weird, or unconventional your FS will prob find interesting. They like to look into deeper meanings and interpretations.

In bed, they’re pretty vanilla and soft. But are open to exploring things that aren’t too wild (like our vampire up above)

(Take this bit very lightly: I see that this person has grown up or has been around “broken” people their entire life, so they feel they need to take responsibility on behalf of those people. They might be some kind of counselor, mentor, or therapist. They’re prone to blaming themselves if situations take a bad turn or go unplanned. I’m also hinting here that some of your FS might have a savior complex, and not on purpose. They might always take some kind of leadership role or something directly beneficial to people- nurses, camp leaders, etc…)

They will take all of the burden so that you don’t have to

If your FS had any weirdo or pervy habits, it’d probably be compulsively stealing your panties or building a shrine with locks of your hair on it 😵‍💫 (which hopefully I hope doesn’t happen. I heard in some fairy folklore, they steal babies, like flying away with the newborn-in-a-basket typa thing- and for no reason too! Don’t let them steal yo babies now!!)

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**Ending Teddy note:

As always, thank you so very much for tuning in with us! I hope you have a spooktacular Scorpio season as we are soon heading into it (depending on when you’re reading this), but really you can read this at any time. Rmr to take everything with a grain of salt! Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. Stay safe out there and rock on people 🤩🤩 Feedback is very much appreciated in any form as it’d help me grow as a reader :)

*This is for entertainment purposes*

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cxndiedvi0lets · 3 months ago

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Looking for help

TW: Verbal and Physical Abuse, Suicide, Self-Harm, Eating Disorder, Sexual Harrassment, Mental Health, Animal Abuse

For anyone who's reading this, I just want to say thank you, and even if I'm desperately seeking for help. I'm not tagging anyone. You may know me as Violet or CxndiedVi0lets on Tumblr, and I've been blogging a lot in a while.

I've had severe episodes in the past where I may have been acting too extremely or even at this rate suicide. I've already had the mindset at the age of 5, and honestly, I'm really tired of pulling this act.

I honestly just don't want to be in this household anymore.

Over the years, my mental health has become progressively worse, and I've tried to seek help from a psychiatrist and a psychologist and have been diagnosed with severe depression along with psychotic episodes which well knownly for my anxiety and impulsive nature of BPD which of course, my impulse is no excuse but I'm not saying its not hard to control.

I stopped seeing a clinic because of my brilliant and intelligent father, who simply seemed to know everything. Then, continues to mock me for my condition.

So, I stopped on medications and everything else even if I was progressively getting worse, not only mentally but as well as physically.

I begin to fail a lot of my subjects and further have been neglecting my health but, Its not what im going through details.

The part where I've really finally snapped is when he threatened to kill my cats, and I've stopped telling them everything because they always use my past against me or remind it as a "safety precaution." I was sexually assaulted at the age of 7, which lasted until I was 12 before my grandfather was kicked out. To say the least things weren't going smoothly, I thought to myself it never affected me but didn't realized it had affected me in ways of self-destruction thinking it was just a normal cycle of a hormonal teenager which I won't elaborate my acts on which you can decide on.

I've had a lot going on in school. I've been sexually assaulted by a classmate recently, but I never elaborated on it, and his acts on me because I didn't wanna make a biggee deal of what I'm going through, even if it is over. I still see his face every day in school, passing by, he was just changed courses and I tried my best to make myself unrecognisable by changing how I dress and my looks which also kind of resulted me getting bullied lol and having my name written on those ridiculous smash or pass books degrading me and objectifying me. It didn't bother me... or at least I think it didn't. I've had a lot of rumours spread around me, and I have been oversexualising myself and making up stories to sound like im a whore. Stereotypical american netflix high school stuff huh?

And yet, I go back home to be used as my father's punching bag (literally) even when it's my mom's fault. It's always the case, and he always justifies it that me being beaten up despised getting bruised was for lecturing me or whatever, lol.

I also hate the fact that they'd even keep more pets like dogs just to have as a toy then neglect them once they begin to have health conditions and continue to get more than complain about them. They don't even have any remorse if they're dying or sick.

Same way of how my father used to lock me up and forced me not to eat cause I dropped a plate accidentally once lol.

I rarely eat, especially when they're around, and they like to complain about why I don't eat with them. I just like to say im not hungry, and now I dont actually feel any hunger at all, and some point that stress led me to gaining weight and overeating which of course led into other health complications. Like bleeding. Anyways skipping on that.

I honestly don't know what to do trying to hide a façade like this anymore, I just want to die or run away im never happy with literally anything. I can't feel anything, I've gotten used to so much pain, I just don't even react to it even when they start swearing at me or calling me names or anything. I don't feel human at all.

I just wish someone could help me maybe leave me advise or maybe send me something on my paypal just so I can earn to get out of this place. I honestly don't care if they think im selfish, I've had enough of this life.

#gaslight gatekeep girlblog #girl blogger #just girly things #im just a girl #cinnamon girl #girl interrupted #girlblogger #girlblogging #girlblog #hell is a teenage girl #vent post #vent #go fund them #go fund me

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quek-a-sketch · 2 years ago

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DNDADS AU: Red Zone

Red Zone is a zombie apocalypse AU following the characters from season 2 of dungeons and daddies!

Now, it doesn't follow the original fall of humanity, the first outbreak. Instead, we jump two generations, humanity has steady feet once again, the whole world is not reclaimed, hell half the country is still infested, but the threat is nowhere near as much as a daily looming thought as it used to be. Thanks in part, to green zones.

Green Zones are walled in cities or settlements completely free of the infected, with mandatory tests regularly and very rarely do people leave. In the years since the first fall, even trade between the cities has been accomplished, and internet has been re-established. Though of course back up self sustaining measures are also in place should the worse happen.

There are still infected, obviously, but now there are also mutations, smaller ones and more deadly variants. Minor mutations affect at least a quarter of the modern populus, including scary! With more extreme ones being rare and often stigmatised but surprisingly controllable; a strain Taylor has falls into this category.

Three out of four of the teens live within a green zone in what was formerly known as San Dimas, California. Normal is the only one who lives in the red zone, it's the area with some of the highest infection percent and is deemed unsafe to live in, but people like the oaks, who have proven to the new government bodies that they are being serious (safe house, tests regularly, many precautions) have been allowed legally to stay there. Normal gets a ride into the green zone with hero daily to go to school, where they are tested as they enter.

One day, the teens all find themselves in Detention, which you'd assume wouldn't be a thing after the apocolypse but hey here we are!

They sneak out, and on a stupid shitty dare and sense of adventure boosted by the fact normal lives there, they venture into the red zone.

Who would have thought that one choice would lead to the second fall of humanity to the virus? Certainly not the teens.

All thanks to finding their father's base, with may Hales holding down the fort in their seeming disappearance she allows the teens access to the whole base....

Including the basement floors, at the bottom of which sits an ever-young patient zero. W. Stampler. I wonder what happens when they let him out?

---

I'll get more into details and more specifics on the kids and plots etc in other posts!!! Or please send me an ask about anything y'all wanna know!

Au made by me and @orionis13 !!!

#dndads #dndads season 2 #dungeons and daddies #dndads au #dungeons and daddies au #normal oak #scary marlowe #lincoln li wilson #taylor swift dndads #red zone #i feel so worried posting my dndads aus #i hope yall like them and.dont think im cringey IWNDUEJ

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clover-midori · 2 years ago

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SHATTERED IN SECONDS

"It was like when you make a move in chess and just as you take your finger off the piece, you see the mistake you've made, and there's this panic because you don't know yet the scale of disaster you've left yourself open to."

- Kazuo Ishiguro

CATEGORY 5 HURRICANE SELMA CONTINUES TO THREATEN BAJA CALIFORNIA AND CALIFORNIA COASTS WITH HIGH STORM SURGE…

On the surface, this storm didn’t seem like a big threat. You’d just have to stay close to shore, so as to not get swept away.

Easy, wasn’t it?

Well yes, but we’re not talking about the surface.

We’re talking about the OCTOPOD. What else would it have been?

Oh right. There was also outside the Octopod. The sea.

A few hours had passed now. The winds were starting to pick up now, as Selma’s outer bands rolled in.

From the HQ, Kwazii kept watching as day gradually turned to night. To him, it looked fantastic. The darkening of the sea’s colors, while painting everything into dullness, was still majestic in a way.

"Avast, if Dashi wasn’t sleeping this out, she’d get some fantastic shots." The cat smiled at Shellington, whipping out his pathetically old BlackBerry Bold 9900. "But at least I’ve gotten this old thing from who knows where!"

Only recently had the sea otter noticed Kwazii’s liking for 2000s technology like this. The other day, when he walked into the cat’s room, he noticed a PlayStation 2 on his dresser.

It was an interesting quirk. Maybe the term "piracy", as in downloading episodes of Velma from a sketchy website full of steamed hams in your area brought Kwazii back to his pirate days. And from there he discovered how cool the 2000s really were.

He was a little confused, but he got the spirit. So, yay for him.

"Shellington? Kwazii? If I were y’all, I’d get away from the windows. Y’know it’s only gonna get worse." Tweak spoke up from behind them. "There’s gotta be some debris coming from somewhere… Rocks and the like!"

"Nyaw, it’s not like it’s gotten anywhere yet! We’ve got time!" The cat laughed it off. "After all, we just gotta wait!"

The bunny facepalmed. She knew he couldn’t risk it forever. Especially not in the wake of a hurricane. A CATEGORY 5 hurricane.

But, of course, Kwazii couldn’t listen. And neither could Shellington. They were just too… disconnected, if anything.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Barnacles made an announcement.

"Octonauts, I advise that all of you stay inside the main area of the Octopod for the rest of tonight. Remember that we are going through an extremely violent hurricane, and it’s moving fast. Should anything happen, we should stick together."

Kwazii stopped smiling.

Shellington stopped smiling, too.

The true scale of what was yet to come, finally came into full view. And it was not good at all.

"Jumping jellyfish. I almost forgot… again." The sea otter was now wide awake, which was rare to see as he tended to be a sleepyhead. But now here he was, in horrific realization.

And not just that, but he knew Dashi was deep asleep in her room. Yet, he couldn’t speak up. Not yet.

Barnacles didn’t know either.

But Kwazii did.

"Captain, I think we’re missing someone… HEY! Any of ye seen-"

And just when you thought things were shit, they were about to become the diarrhea you got after eating one too many breadsticks from the school cafeteria.

The Octopod slowly rumbled, as Selma’s winds picked up once again. For a few seconds, it calmly get steadily rocked back and fourth. Again and again.

"…jumping jellyfish. I gotta go." Shellington rushed to his lab. Kwazii went down his trail, deep into his refuge.

~~~~

Shellington walked around his lab, and he was starting to panic.

"What do we do? What do we do? What… do we do? The Octopod is shaking, the hurricane is already here, and Dashi isn’t in the main area." He kept talking to himself, before bumping into Kwazii.

"C’mon, now! I clearly helped Captain anchor the Octopod! We can’t be that plundered!" He tried to comfort the sea otter. But it wasn’t any use.

"Kwazii, you and I need to get to the launch bay RIGHT NOW. I might have an idea of why things aren’t going well."

A few minutes later, the two had snuck past Tweak, and were tethered to the Octopod by an old iPhone charging cable. Selma kept throwing the currents around and around, and it was becoming increasingly hard to swim.

Fortunately, Kwazii easily noticed what was wrong with the Octopod.

"Nothing?!"

"Fascinating! There’s no marks at all!"

The two shook their heads. Clearly something was playing with them. A sea creature? Most likely. But that couldn’t be. Not in a hurricane!

"…avast! Your free antivirus, this isn’t right!" The cat and otter swam back inside, in panic. The cause was obvious, but the anchor had been set about 3 hours ago! And during that time, clearly many fish were finding shelter…

The anchor simply came loose. Which it had never done before.

It was a sign.

A sign that their time was almost up.

"Kwazii?! Shellington?! What were you two doin’ out there?!" Tweak immediately noticed them, dripping water. "Y'all could’ve gotten real hurt!"

"That’s for Peso to figure out. Me and Kwazii had to find out why the Octopod was shaking. And there’s no marks on the anchor… Meaning that what’s merely happening is that…" Shellington stopped, and immediately turned to Kwazii. "It’s loose."

He went went empty for a moment. "But Shellington, I didn’t do it! I was just guiding the captain and…"

The otter tightly hugged him, shaking his head. "I never said you did it. You were only trying to help… What I’m saying is… Your captain is at fault."

Tweak gasped. "Oh me, oh my, oh WHAT THE HECK?! So… Cap failed to anchor the Octopod deep enough? You’re tellin’ me he left us for dead?!"

"I mean… I DON’T KNOW!" Shellington screamed. "I might just be losing my mind! What I’m more concerned is… how much time do we have left until the anchor is loose enough to completely free the Octopod from the ground?"

The bunny just looked at the otter, horrified as he was. And the answer? Just as obvious.

"Faster than you can say 'WE'RE FUCKED FOR REAL!' WE HAVE TO GET HIS ATTENTION!" Tweak ran upstairs in a panic, something she had never really done before, until now.

By sheer coincidence, she crashed head-on into Barnacles, and it hurt like hell. But her fears numbed out her pain, as she fell back down the stairs. The captain ran for her, trying to catch.

In the end, it ended up in a two-Octonaut stampede. Two likely injuries. But those didn’t matter, when Tweak knew she was about to die in absolute panic from potential disaster.

She wished she didn’t have to say the same about the others. And while she was disappointed in Barnacles, she was just as sorry for him. To know you were in extreme danger during a hurricane, was to be a nightmare. And that? The bunny understood.

It was his fault, and at the same time, it wasn’t.

"Cap…! I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry… I should’ve been more careful…" Tweak was tearing up. "I just wanted to tell you the bad news… before it’s too late…" she covered her eyes in regret.

"Bad news? Then there’s not a time to waste. Tell me."

Tweak wanted to throw up. The whole thought of this was getting to her HARD. But she had to say something.

"The anchor is loose. It’s not functioning as it should. Cap, you know what this means? You know what this FUCKING MEANS?!" Tweak angrily grabbed the captain by the ears.

"Tweak, let go- Wait… the anchor? Loose? Not functioning as it should? You’re telling me…"

Shellington and Kwazii were gone, and Barnacles only caught sight of Tweak’s leg, as she ran upstairs.

That was the code to make a run for it.

~~~~

Barnacles ran as fast as he could to the HQ, and almost IMMEDIATELY did he SMASH his fist into the Octo-Alert. So hard, that it became louder and higher-pitched than before… and there was no way anyone could ignore.

"OCTONAUTS, TO THE HQ, RIGHT NOW! THIS IS A LIFE-OR-DEATH SITUATION, AND I NEED ALL OF US TO ACT FAST FOR OUR SURVIVAL! WASTE NO TIME OR WE WILL MOST-CERTAINLY DIE."

That was the scariest announcement Barnacles would ever say. And sadder, was that it could be his last.

Almost immediately, Peso ran through the HQ. But he didn’t stop. In fact, he was running for downstairs. He was looking for some certain patients.

"Flappity flippers! They can’t be gone like that! They have to be somewhere!" He was the most anxious he’d have been since 2010, and had his headphones on full volume. He couldn’t hear his own screams either, because all he could hear was Jvne’s hardest album ever. Its title, he screamed to himself.

"STARVING SLVTS… ALWAYS GET THEIR FIX!"

Sorry, what’s that?

Vicki? What about… Oh.

What, have we forgotten Inkling?

"No… I haven’t…" he sighed, looking at Tunip. The Vegimals had all rushed for his library, looking for Shellington as usual. "I would advise you stay with me… Oh, my, The Octo-Alarm is going off and I don’t like the sound of it…!"

He rolled up in his chair, confused about the sound. It never sounded this urgent, but now? It was nightmare fuel.

~~~~

Shellington had never cried so hard before, and now he kept raging in his laboratory, and all that Kwazii could do was watch.

"LOOK AT THIS! I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING! SOMETHING TO SAVE US ALL! AND YET? I DIDN’T, KWAZII! I DIDN’T!!!" He kept shouting, clutching his face in front of the cat.

"I FAILED YOU! I… FAILED YOU!"

Kwazii was trying to get him to stop crying, but it wasn’t any use. The only thing in life Kwazii feared was spiders, and now Shellington bawling his eyes out.

Not that he hatefully feared it. If anything, it was something he wished to never witness. The otter he spent so much time with. Inches away from heart failure, if anything.

"Nyaw… Who am I to leave him here?… I have to go to the HQ… But Shellington is screaming, and crying… Avast, I can’t go up there. I have to do something!"

The ex-pirate looked at the scientific otter, and knew that, with all that was happening, comfort him.

But this was impossible. With Barnacles’ making these announcements over the Octo-Alarm, his warm hugs were nothing.

"JUST MINUTES AGO, I WAS MADE AWARE OF GRIM NEWS. THE ANCHOR HAS FAILED TO CHAIN THE OCTOPOD, AND IS YET TO COME OFF AT ANY MOMENT. THE OCTOPOD IS STARTING TO SHAKE VIOLENTLY, AND HAS A VERY HIGH CHANCE TO CRASH WITH A VIOLENT IMPACT. WITH THAT, WE CAN ONLY DO ONE THING FOR AN ATTEMPT OF SURVIVAL."

Kwazii could feel himself going more and more deaf, as the screams of Barnacles and Shellington echoed around him, exceeding what he felt was over 175 decibels. Enough to kill him… if this crash didn’t.

"BRACE FOR IMPACT!" Barnacles shouted so loudly, like he was angry at everyone. Like an actual polar bear…

Kwazii had enough of him. All he wanted to do was just hug Shellington. If this was gonna keep on going, the last thing he’d do… was rebel. And so, he did.

"Captain…. SHUT UP!" He shouted back, possibly rupturing a lung. But those didn’t matter anymore. "GET OFF MY BACK AND YE BUZZ RIGHT OFF, UNDERSTOOD?!"

Not that he heard that. But the cat wanted to scream at him.

The cat tightly hugged the otter, trying to talk to him. To know he was not alone. To know he was NEVER alone. He dragged him into his bed, head on the front end.

Kwazii’s idea was to seek shelter inside here. To stay upstairs was too dangerous. And he knew others were likely listening to Barnacles.

If anything, he was hoping Dashi was still asleep.

~~~~

"Listen to me.. Inkling.. I can’t find them anywhere. They’re missing, and I can’t be bothered anymore…" Peso cried in a raspy voice. "I bet you are just as hurt as I am, but please… Save the Vegimals. Get them out of here… and save yourself."

The squid smiled at the penguin, noticing how pale his eyes were. "Goodness me, you look very ill yourself… I promise I’ll look after them."

Peso felt as if he could collapse at any moment, but he still managed to shake his flipper with Inkling. "I’m sorry… I didn’t act faster… I'm gonna miss you…"

"Good luck out there," Inkling nodded. "You're in for one wild ride." Suddenly, the Octopod violently shook, throwing Peso to the ceiling and knocking him out instantly, but not killing him, thankfully. The impact had also caused many books to fly around, some crashing into the window, which left it cracked.

"My books! Peso! Just… what a tragedy! We HAVE to evacuate… Tunip, are you ready?" He looked at the broken window, knowing it was a perfect escape.

"Cheepa… wala… Shellybo." The Vegimal looked back from the door, knowing that otter was still in there.

"…I promise we'll find him once the sand settles. I guarantee that everything has a chance." Inkling held him by one tentacle, and watched as the glass, stressed by the harsh movements of the Octopod, as it continued to glide through the sea’s insane currents, cracked one more time.

And like that, it shattered into thousands of pieces, all which made way for GALLONS upon GALLONS of sea water.

Inkling took one final look at Peso's body, knowing there was no time left. He had to go, go, go.

The other Vegimals followed him, as he charged towards the escape, knowing he was leaving behind everything. Him, Inkling, being the founder… now leaving it all as it went to waste.

At first, the Octonauts were merely a collection of simulations that Inkling had worked on with two humans in LA and Vancouver. Michael and Vicki. To each one another, it didn’t feel like a whole lot, but it was the greatest thing they’d have ever done. None of them knew the impact those simulations from 2006 had. At the time, it was all just for fun.

They decided to cherish it with the other stuff they’d have been doing at the time. All under the studio’s name.

Meomi. A little creative studio dedicated to play, delight and good-liness.

That was how it started.

And now, it was a whole new world that he had made with those two humans. None of them really knew how big this whole thing would become, until it became clear, that it was more than that little… creative… studio.

2010. The Octonauts were real.

And now, they weren’t.

As the squid swam out, hauling the Vegimals, he knew what was going to be left from this.

A lost legacy, eternal regret, and an angry call at 4AM from Vicki.

All because of a broken anchor.

It continued to shred away in the currents. Panel by panel, piece by piece.

The Octopod was slowly falling apart.

But at least Barnacles stopped shouting. At least not on the intercom.

"…S-Shellington?" Kwazii whispered to the otter, both trapped inside his folded-up bed. "Are ye okay now?"

Sea otter couldn’t see for a moment, but then realized what had happened. "Kwazii, is that you? Hi. Why are the lights turned off?"

"Just wanted to help you sleep. I know you’re awake now, so I figured we’d… talk."

Neither really knew what they were referring to. They were just in this… coffin, unaware of their impending doom.

"…Of course. I should have thought about that. What’s on your mind, Kwazii?" Shellington awkwardly giggled. "You seem pretty bored."

For a moment, the cat was thinking. Now, when you’re inside a folded up (Michael) Murphy bed, you think you’re in danger. But not here. If anything, the two were simply enjoying each other’s company.

"Well… I do wanna confess something." Kwazii giggled back. "Ye approve~?"

Shellington let out an "mhmm", which made the cat blush a little.

"Good, matey. Now, I’m pretty sure ye know that we’ve been spending more time than usual lately. And honestly, I myself don’t really know why… But, Shellington, the thing is… and I’m being more genuine than a PlayStation 5 from a shady arcade, and I’ve wanted to say this for months now…

"Go on," said Shellington. "What's up?" He was becoming more intrigued, and Kwazii knew it was truly time to tell him.

"I always did love you. For REAL."

Shellington blushed heavily from those 5 words. With all the time he had spend with the cat, he knew he felt the same way. He went for it as well, smiling bright.

"…I love you too, Kwazii."

But right after that, came a massive…

BANG!

…and everything went darker than ever.

Dashi was still asleep.

Tweak ducked in the launch bay.

Peso, unconscious, was thrown out of the window.

Shellington was hiding in his bed.

Kwazii was with him.

But none of those sounded as terrifying as what Captain Barnacles Bear suffered through.

He was still in the HQ. Where all the glass was.

The Octopod fell flat on its front.

All the glass was smashed, and shards of it were sent flying towards him at an insanely fast speed. And all that Barnacles could do was block his face.

But now, it was too late.

Too late to cry.

Too late to brace.

Too late to scream.

Everything, even hopes and dreams, was shattered in seconds.

#mermaid au #mermaid #alternate universe #octonauts #octonauts au #octonauts mermaid au #reclaimed by nature

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itisaterriblelove · 2 years ago

Text

“AH, SHIT.”

Elvis Hirsche had extremely bad timing, all things considered, and I couldn’t help the little flurry of annoyance that built up in my chest as I stared down at my phone. But it passed quickly, because in the next moment I realized that Elle needed me. And I would always be there for Elle when she needed me; that went without saying or even thinking about.

It wasn’t like Elle to go out and get drunk. I had known her ever since we were in elementary school, and we’d been best friends since somewhere in middle school. She was in her second year of college now and I was in my last… Well, okay, what was supposed to be my last. But I definitely didn’t have enough credits to graduate, and I certainly wasn’t sad about it.

The point was, I had never known Elle to get drunk in a bar. And especially not without me.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I glanced over at her apologetically as I slid my phone back into the pocket of my jacket. “I’ve gotta go.”

I expected Tyler to look ruffled, so I opened my mouth to hurry up and explain, but she didn’t.

She wrinkled her forehead just a little, and I could see the concern in her eyes as she opened her mouth to say, “Is everything okay?” And fuck if I didn’t just love the way this girl gave me the benefit of the doubt. I couldn’t think of a single one of my exes who—at this point in the game—wouldn’t have been jumping down my throat about why I had to bail on her. Especially if they found out it was about Elvis Hirsche. But not Tyler.

“DK texted about Elle being wasted at Blacklight,” I explained, already knowing that Tyler would get what that meant to me. “I’ve gotta go get her.” I shrugged, apologetic. But there was no fucking way that I was leaving Elle on her own to muddle through a bar full of assholes while she was drunk. Not happening.

“Why can’t DK just take her home?” Reagan interrupted, with the same attitude that I had almost expected from Tyler, but had been relieved not to get. I caught myself before I could shoot a glare in Reagan’s direction.

I was supposed to be with Elle tonight, anyway, so I couldn’t help the surge of guilt that I felt. Like maybe this was my fault somehow. That she’d gone out and done something so out of character because of me. But I had canceled on her because of Tyler’s plea that I join them tonight. All because her best friend, Reagan, had a date with some dude and didn’t want to go alone.

I was not a fucking double-date kind of guy. Especially not if the double-date was with Reagan Knight, who had always managed to find something about me annoying, for as long as we’d known each other. And this was a small town where people rarely ever moved, so we’d all kind of grown up together. Which meant that Reagan and I had been at odds basically forever.

I shook my head at her. “DK’s working.” But she already knew that. “He can’t just leave to get Elle home.” He was a bartender at Blacklight. What I didn’t mention was that DK actually was going to do just that, but just not for Elle. Apparently Elle and Jemma had made it a girls’ night out. DK couldn’t handle them both on his own, and he didn’t want to leave Elle alone while he got Jemma home.

Still, bailing on my girlfriend to deal with a drunk best friend made me feel like kind of a dick.

“Don’t worry about it, man. I can get them both home.” Elliott—the poor asshole who wanted to date Reagan Knight—didn’t ding anything on my creep meter. He was just this kind of nerdy guy, and he seemed harmless enough. Still, I considered him for a long moment before shooting another look at Tyler.

“Or you guys can come back with me now?” I offered, feeling worse as I realized I was stranding them with this guy if I left, and ruining Reagan’s date if they left with me.

I watched as Reagan and Tyler seemed to communicate through nothing but back and forth looks before Tyler gave a gentle shake of her head. “No thanks, Gavin. Don’t worry about us. Go ahead and take care of Elle.”

I listened for it, I really did, but there was not a single shred of suspicion or judgment or even annoyance in her voice. It was fucking amazing.

“I’m sorry, Ty,” I shot her another apology, just to make sure that she knew that I meant it, but she just smiled.

“I know. It’s okay, Gavin.” I took Tyler at face value and nodded, standing up to leave. There wasn’t any time to waste because we were at some karaoke bar a little ways outside of town, and it was at least a twenty minute drive back to Pleasant Valley and Blacklight to get Elle. We hadn’t even ordered our food when I got that emergency text from DK. But Tyler didn’t flinch as I grabbed up my keys and waved goodbye to everyone; she didn’t seem to mind at all.

And yet, I’m not gonna lie, a nagging part of the back of my mind worried about whether I’d pay for this later. I mean, most girls were just not this chill. Not even Elle, and she let me off the hook pretty much all of the time. It was something I couldn’t worry about at the moment, though; I’d already made up my mind to leave.

#my art #my writing #artists on tumblr #i'm still working on side profile and 3/4 views okay #so this... was hard...#gavin x tyler #reagan x elliott #fg #fg ch06 #i legit can't believe i spent so long #on this image #for this short short part of the story #but also #it was good practice #so okay #i honestly hate their noses #stylizing the noses in these profiles was like...#not my friend #okay i'm done criticizing myself

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lovemesomesurveys · 2 years ago

Text

1. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Well, I finally tried edibles to see if it helps my anxiety at all, as well as my insomnia, appetite, and pain. I’ve had horrible anxiety, more so than ever, this past year and the medications my doctor would allow weren’t working. I was feeling really hopeless and scared. The only thing that did seem to help was my pain med, which of course isn’t its intended purpose but I was taking it for that as well, which wasn’t good. I finally decided to give edibles a try with the hope of course of it actually helping me and to also take less pills.

2. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? Well, I’ve been trying this new regimen for the past week now and figuring out the right dosages and how many a day and so far it is working. I have definitely cut back on the pills, which is really good.

3. Name somewhere you are planning on visiting in the near future? I sadly have no travel plans. I’m hoping perhaps my new “medication” will help me feel motivated and have the desire to want to get up out of bed more and perhaps at least take a drive to the beach and park as close as we can so I can enjoy it from the car. I’d take that over nothing right now. I really miss the beach. :( Like I said, though, I’m still playing around with the correct amount and what type I take for what. I need a mood lifter kind. While it has helped some of my issues, it also makes me really tired and have zero energy which is not helpful if I want to go somewhere.

4. How often do you go grocery shopping and how much food do you usually get in one go? My mom goes twice a month for our big grocery trips. We get a lot of stuff.

5. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? I have cream of wheat for breakfast, Taco Bell at least 4-5 times a week, and I have a sandwich for lunch just about everyday. I have pizza fairly often, too. It’s so wild how my appetite has changed since being home from the hospital because prior to I ate a lot of chicken, particularly chicken wings. I had that all the time before and now it’s rare for me to get chicken wings or chicken strips. I don’t know why.

6. When was the last time you felt unable or unwilling to speak your mind to someone? That’s kinda just how I am for the most part. I’d like to speak up to a couple people, but I just want to cause any drama or hurt anyone’s feelings. I just imagine the conversation going completely wrong and everything getting twisted. I won’t be able to say what I want to say in the right way. I’m getting hurt, too, but it’s best I just don’t say anything.

7. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? I don’t recall.

8. Who was the last friend you saw, and what did you do together? I don’t have any friends.

9. Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else's dreams? I always have random people pop up in my dreams for some reason. Like people I know, but I’m talking like for example this kid I went to elementary and middle school with. We weren’t friends, but acquaintances. I didn’t have a crush on him or anything either. Sooo, I really have no idea why he’s the one to pop up on my dreams randomly.

10. What is something you wish you could say to someone who is no longer in your life, or something you wish they could know? I sometimes wish I could talk to Ty again and tell him some things, but I guess at this point it really doesn’t matter.

11. Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we're basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? Nah.

12. What worries you most about your future? I’m truly afraid of getting worse or never getting much better. I’m afraid of living a life mainly stuck in bed or at home. I’m afraid I won’t be able to travel again or go places. My future terrifies me.

13. What is something you do to feel better when you're scared? I have to just try to distract myself somehow. 14. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? My mom, 100%. I know I always can.

15. What makes you trust someone? When was the last time someone broke your trust? It’s usually just unless I have a reason or feeling that I shouldn’t. You just kind of vibe with someone and gauge how comfortable you feel and how much you want to share.

16. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I don’t recall.

17. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? I used to be the one friends came to for advice all the time, but I’m certainly in no place to be giving advice to anyone right now. I also don’t ask for it generally. Very rarely. I keep a lot of shit to myself.

18. When was the last time you felt totally lost, figuratively speaking? How about literally? >> I constantly feel lost, figuratively speaking. I almost never feel lost, literally speaking. <<<

19. In what ways are you emotionally strong? In what ways are you emotionally weak? I feel extremely weak emotionally. And physically.

20. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? One of them that randomly came to mind is “The Giver.”

21. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? I much prefer watching with others. My mom, brother, and I have several shows we watch together. I find it fun to have someone to react and obsess with.

22. What was the last thing you broke? How about fixed? I don’t recall.

23. Is there a sign or symbol that means a lot to you for whatever reason (eg. seeing certain animals or birds, 11:11 or other repeating numbers, syncs, butterflies, hearts in nature, etc)? My favorite number since I was a kid has been 8. That number comes up a lot in my life, too. The number 9 does as well. I don’t know what it means, if anything, but it’s interesting.

24. Do you have any personal ghost stories or paranormal experiences? No.

25. What do you get complimented on the most? Ha, nothing anymore. I’m a mess.

26. What is something unusual that you find attractive? I find hands attractive, but I think that’s not so unusual or uncommon. I can’t think of anything that would be “unusual.”

27. What time do you tend to eat your first meal of the day? And your last? I tend to eat around 11 or 12PM and my last meal around 8.

28. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching a YouTuber that does a lot of videos on abandoned places and companies that went bankrupt and/or closed down. The one I’m watching now is about Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

29. When was the last time you traveled out of town, and where to? Over a year ago to the beach.

30. How would you describe your overall aesthetic? I don’t know, man.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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noteguk · 4 years ago

Note

Hey nala! I loved bad attitude, I can’t wait to see more of the oc teasing jk 😭

Thank you!! I really like exploring the dark side of the force that overtakes the oc every once in a blue moon. So I hope you guys like this one! (The timeline is after bad reputation, but before bad attitude)

[ ! ] this is a drabble for bad influence. You can read it as a stand-alone.

— contents and warnings; pwp, smut, sexting, badboy!Jungkook x goodgirl!reader, enemies with benefits/enemies to lovers, dirty talk, taking and sending pics (not nudes), jk’s skirt thirst, a glimpse into the chaos that lives inside the oc

— words; 1,2k

Years of high school (and now college) excellence did wonders to disguise your impulsive side. It was a common misconception to believe that, just because you were disciplined enough to keep your grades high and your responsibilities in check, you didn’t act on dumb, random thoughts that popped up inside your head. You kind of wished it was true (it would’ve saved you a lot of drama in your personal life) but you also had to admit that you had your fun indulging in your more chaotic needs as well.

Jungkook’s answer came quickly, but not as quickly as you had first expected. Which meant that he was either busy or distracted — past tense — and that it would be slightly more fun than you thought.

With a smirk growing on your lips, you turned around on the bed, reaching for your phone. His answer was simple, only one word, but it was more than enough for you to realize that your machiavellian plan would be fruitful.

jk tutoring 🚫: dont.

If years of perfecting self-restraint didn’t stop you, his half-assed warning wouldn’t. With your phone in hands, you propped yourself up on your elbows as you typed a response.

You: Why not? 😔

As you nervously waited for his text, the picture you had previously sent him was staring you right in the face. It wasn’t anything outrageous, just a simple mirror selfie of you sitting on the edge of your bed, legs crossed and head slightly tilted to the side. It was something so innocent, so gentle and casual, that you could almost pretend that you didn’t know exactly what you were doing when you picked that skirt.

It wasn’t any revolutionary discovery to claim that Jungkook had a thing for your skirts — he had mentioned about a million times already and, even if he hadn’t, it was extremely obvious from the way he explored your body with a lot more eagerness when you wore one. What was a revolutionary discovery, however, was the piece of clothing you found hiding in the corner of your closet, something you had long discarded because Yongsun had managed to shrink it the first time she washed it.

It was practically impossible to wear it outside, but, well, it was the perfect tool to provoke Jungkook with. Because if karma didn’t take care of him, you would.

Finally, his messages popped up on your screen:

jk tutoring 🚫: in a lab rn dont wanna get hard thx

jk tutoring 🚫: but it looks rlly fucjing hot

jk tutoring 🚫: wanna see you riding me in it bby

jk tutoring 🚫: in front of that mirror ;)

You bit your lip, bubbles of expectation starting to pop in your stomach. Sexting Jungkook was the free trial of being a chess genius — you were always ten steps ahead, predicting his following words with almost perfect accuracy. Was it mean, perhaps a little twisted of you to be doing that while he was (miraculously) in class? Maybe. But you had a lot of things in your mind and mercy wasn’t one of them. Especially after the months of torture he had put you through.

You: whatever you want 🥰

You: I’m surprised you even go to class tho, that’s news

jk tutoring 🚫: u took the day off to pester me?

You: maybe I did

You: maybe I’m also home alone for the rest of it

jk tutoring 🚫: dont fucking say that

In true supervillain fashion, you had to laugh at his apparent desperation — a high-pitched, victorious laugh that seemed to come straight from your soul. Jungkook very rarely found himself in that position and you absolutely lived for it. It was one thing to provoke him in person, when he was much stronger than you and could shut you up in no time, but, through the screen, only equal rights. And equal methods of torture.

You: why? You don’t wanna come over?

jk tutoring 🚫: u kno I do

jk tutoring 🚫: ill ttyl

You: not later!! Now 🥺

jk tutoring 🚫: baby this isn’t the best moment

jk tutoring 🚫: Im already hard n im almost done here ok

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, giving the angel and the demon on your shoulders time to present their case. The collected, rational part of you told you to leave it at that: he would come over later, you had managed to provoke him enough to piss him off and get the reaction you wanted. You won. But the impulsive, evil side of you told you that you didn’t win hard enough.

Before you could think too much about it, you took another picture, feeling blessed enough to get a good shot on your first try. Your thumbs flew over the keys, typing fast to get the message sent before Jungkook decided to put his phone away.

You: but these are the panties that you like 😔

Like clockwork, there was a long moment of tension between your message being viewed and those little dots appearing at the corner of your screen. Once again: you knew exactly what you were doing. And you knew that a picture taken underneath your skirt, presenting him with a full view of your red laced panties, would be the cherry on top.

jk tutoring 🚫: I fucjing hate u

You: don’t think you do

jk tutoring 🚫: im saving these

jk tutoring 🚫: gonna fuck u so hard bby

jk tutoring 🚫: not even gonna take those off

jk tutoring 🚫: just gonna push them aside n see u coming all over my cock

Playing like that with Jungkook was like russian roulette — only, it was only you, and all chambers were filled. You knew it would backfire, you knew that the second he walked in your room all your control would go flying out the window, and yet you pushed on. Impulsiveness was a drug for someone that rarely indulged in it, and you were too high to care about the consequences when they seemed so far away. Or, even worse, when you kind of liked them.

That was what pushed you to write your following messages:

You: come over now? Please?

jk tutoring 🚫: wait like 10 min we’re wrapping up

You: now 🥺

You: I’m so wet kook

You: my panties are soaked

You: don’t you wanna come and take them off?

You: Or maybe I can take care of myself today and I can see you another day 😔

jk tutoring 🚫: dont fucking dare

You: I bet I could come super quick too I’m so turned on

You: I want to feel you inside me

You: I’m so tight too I can barely put my fingers in

You: please? Come over?

Checkmate. The forces of chaos inside you were rejoicing, every cell of your body anticipating the impact of your words. You, however, already knew you had won even before he answered you.

jk tutoring 🚫: im coming over rn

check out the rest of the bad influence collection!

tag list > @minyoongiboongi @bvrrym0re @marcoazam2 @shojotae @youurkryptonite @fan-ati--c @btstrasht @crazy4myself @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky @imluckybitches @gyukult @jinsalpaca @we8joon @gamerkooks @study-clouds @myanswer-is-you @pb-n-juju @disaster-rose @spicybangtanwings @fairymagdalene @seagulljk @she-is-dreaming @jjktthpmj1 @pinkysunsett @1aekooks @jkficsiliketoread @ellesalazar @wearenot7withu @codeinebelle @erraaxh @lovelyloverlia @dayjeons @illwritetomorrow @dreamsindreamss @limee7 @pixiejjk @dancing-queenf @storms-and-stars-blog @un-love @knjoobs @yopjm @pixiejjk

#bts smut #jungkook smut #bts fic #jungkook fic #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #bts x you #bts x reader #jeon jungkook #x you #x reader #smut #bad boy jungkook #college au #secret dating #enemies to lovers

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dreamkidddream · 4 years ago

Note

I’d like to request hc’s of the Brothers and Diavolo reacting to an MC that’s so cute, she could pass off as a doll. If she stands perfectly still, she could pass off as a full sized doll until she moves again. She has adorable doe eyes, wears cute clothes (Lolita fashion or just has an anime girl style), and even makes cute desserts. If the usual MC was weak and frail to them already, Doll!MC seems so dainty, precious, and fragile; these guys would ban paper if she ever got a paper cut.

Oooooo this is really interesting! I can just imagine Doll!MC just making everyone so scared every time she moves because they could probably hurt themselves just bumping into a wall because they look so fragile lol. These were short, so hope you enjoy!

Update: here’s part 2 with the other Undateables!

The Brothers and Diavolo Reacting to Doll!MC

Lucifer

...maybe he made a mistake in picking you for the exchange program after all

You just look so delicate, and just so pure.

You have definitely made cute little snacks and brought it to him while he locked himself in the office with paperwork

He lowkey highkey likes it no matter how he brushes it off with the usual thanks. Keep doing it, MC, he really appreciates it

When you get in trouble and he gives you the usual lectures, he can’t look into your eyes for long

Geez, he already can’t stay mad at you for long but now he can just feel his resolve cracking

If you get hurt oh Diavolo prepare for helicopter parent Lucifer

As soon as you accidently cut yourself in the kitchen (it would be the tiniest cut, barely noticeable), you’re no longer allowed in the kitchen unsupervised and can’t handle anything with a sharp end (whether its a butter knife or kid proof scissors that would be safe for Luke to use unsupervised)

“Let me do it for you, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Lucifer, thank you but I’ll be okay. It’s just a frosting spatula it’s not sharp-”

Will punish his brothers 10x worse and demons 100x more if he finds out you got hurt (doesn’t matter what the injury is, could be so much as a paper cut there will be hell to pay)

Constantly checks on you when he can’t see you in person

Handles you so lightly that you barely feel his touch

Move over Belphie, you’re the baby of the house now

Mammon

Protective x100000

Is still tsudere around you, but doesn’t insult you as much

Who are you kidding as soon as he looks into your cute doe eyes, he forgets what he’s saying

Complains about having to do stuff for you but doesn’t mind at all really. He loves it because it feels like you’re depending on him, and that makes him feel worth something.

“C’mon human, let the Great Mammon carry your books! You’re gonna hurt yourself and I don’t feel like hearing Lucifer’s mouth today!”

It was just your planner and a small recipe book that Luke gave you, and it weighed less than 10 pounds but okay. You don’t complain either when you see that he genuinely wants to help and do these things

Basically your loud guard dog and secret service agent rolled into one

He’s gotten into trouble more than once for “protecting you”. A student barely bumped your shoulder and Mammon already tackled him. Lucifer was not pleased (but he secretly understood)

He can’t help it that you’re weak and surrounded by hungry demons! It’s a pain to go through this much effort to just protect you, since you look so helpless

MC he’s just worried that you easily break if a demon so much as breathes on you but he likes that he can protect you because he knows that he can keep you safe. You’re just too cute and sweet okay??

Also stand in his room after watching a horror movie to freak him out and he’ll be sounding like Mariah Carey lmao

Leviathan

RURI-CHAN IS THAT YOU??!

Is for sure having an otaku/weaboo freakout moment

You blend in with figurines so well, every time you come into his room he asks you to stand next to them so he can feel that his collection is complete

He does it sometimes when he streams so people can think he has a rare limited-edition life sized doll that they can’t get. Makes him feel superior

DRESSING YOU UP IN COSPLAY 100%

You’re like an anime character but in real life and he does not know how to handle it

Can’t stare into your eyes, it makes them too flustered because he’s used to seeing it in his otome games and not from an actual person that he likes

Who needs maid cafes when he has you? You even dress and make anime themed desserts (once he built up the courage to ask you to make it for him)

Has to calm his beating heart every time he talks to you, you’re too precious for him MC!

Your like his very own idol, minus the singing and dancing. However, if you can sing and dance....

Levi.exe has stopped working

Satan

Thought you were a real doll until you introduced yourself

He really thought that someone brought you to life Pinocchio style

You looked like a princess from the many stories that he read, and he was smitten

Treated you so graceful and elegant like until he had his rage moments, which he told you to stay far, far, far away from him until he calmed down completely

Secretly placed a hex on you to where if someone tried to attack you or touch you with harmful intentions, they would be somehow be subjected to looking at their worst fear

You were wondering why that random stranger was just staring wide at you with extensive terror, but then you saw Satan grinning, so you left it alone. You thought it was just some weird demon thing

Loved when you made him cat-themed desserts

If you wore cat ears while doing it, he will turn extremely red

If you meow for him, he won’t know how to handle himself

Asmodeus

You are just the cutest thing he has ever laid his eyes on!!

Besides from himself of course, don’t get it twisted he’s still #1

He has most definitely had more than one photoshoot done with you both. And you guys have been trending on the Devilgram a couple of times already

Really you guys trend at least twice a month, and his fans love you!

They always ask where he got the doll from but he always laughs and says that “it’s a secret”

Imagine their shock when they see you walking and talking at RAD, some are amazed and some are downright scared

Fashion shows!

He lives for dressing you up in cute clothes. Your style already suited you and he had great tastes so the new outfits he got you were just *chef’s kiss*

The cute little desserts that you made for him, he always posted it on the Devilgram before he ate it. They were just so cute MC and he couldn’t not show his fans!

Is the most careful brother when it comes to keeping you out of danger. He refused to let his body or skin damaged, and he wasn’t about to let it happen to you either! You are both way too dainty and fragile to let anything happen

Also spa days and self-care nights weekly!

You’re the perfect match made just for him MC

He finally has someone that can understand his struggle of being beautiful, bless you MC

Beelzebub

Soft boy is scared of touching you :(

He towers over you, and he’s scared to even be near you

It takes some time, but he starts to warm up to you

Is always gentle with you, no matter the scenario

Holding hands? He is hardly gripping your hand, said hand fitting loosely in his

Getting hugs? He’s meagerly holding you, not wanting to crush you

You once complained to Beel that it wasn’t fair to get half done hugs (if you were hugging, you were getting a real hug, not a scared one).

He made you swear that if he was hurting you to let him know, so now you have your very own signal to use for him just in case

He was very tempted to wrap you in bubble wrap and just carry you around like that

He LOVES your sweets, even more than Luke’s and Barbatos’

No matter the size, he loves them, mainly because you made them and it was made with love, just for him

It always makes him feel so warm inside, and he doesn’t feel his appetite gnawing at him like usual

No one is dumb enough to try anything with you both in his presence and not, unless they want to end up either a: deep into the ground or b: into his stomach

You just make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he just loves everything about you. He just loves you

Belphegor

Hm, you look cute

For a human

Acts like he doesn’t care, but you’ve caught him blushing before (he still does it too)

Won’t outright admit that you’re charming in your own little way, but he does in his sarcastic way like usual

“MC, you’re such a half-pint. You’re like my personal sized teddy bear.”

Has cuddled with you like you were his personal teddy bear (and still does, but you don’t complain at all)

Has a secret sweet tooth and eat your desserts whenever you make it just for him (and he doesn’t even share it with Beel, that monster)

Demons just have to look Belphie in the eyes, watch him flex his claws, and they all of a sudden forget about whatever they were planning. Good

He hates that you look so fragile, but at the same time he kinda likes it

You just look so soft, and you’re just so kind

It makes him feel like he’s protecting and caring for you, and that makes him feel calm and peaceful

Please make sure that he’s okay MC, he’s scared that he’s gonna mess up again

Diavolo

The Prince of Hell is both surprised and pleased at your appearance

Do all humans look this charming or is it just you??

If someone as soft as you can survive living and going to school with demons, then this is great

Knew that you weren’t a doll, but still liked to admire you like one

Has asked more than once for pictures, you are just too enchanting!

Wants to have a portrait painted of you so he can hang it up in the castle

LOVES you baking for him! Loves when Barbatos does it too (even though it is kinda part of his job), but it feels different with you. It feels...domestic in a sense. Makes him feel like Diavolo, your friend and very interested in being your boyfriend, instead of Lord Diavolo, the prince that will be residing over Hell in the future

No one would be foolish enough to hurt you. If someone was, they wouldn’t even get the chance to lift a finger before they were directly dealing with him. Don’t take his kindness for weakness, he still is a demon after all, the future King of Hell to be exact

Was scared of touching you at first, but quickly grew out of it! He can handle his own strength, and you guys also have a signal to use just in case he does squeeze a little too tight

Will want to dress you up in royal clothes (if you were okay with it). Nothing is wrong with your current style, as a matter of fact it suits you! He basically just wants to play a fancy game of dress up/have a fashion show with royal clothing

Will take 100s of photos, no exaggeration

Asmo will be jealous, so be warned

Plus, he wants to know how his future lover/ruler would look in a crown so he can start taking measurements. You can never be too ready, right MC?

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astrojoy · 4 years ago

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Astrovations #6

● Please remember that everything matters. Thus, planets aspecting definitely play a role on how certain things may play out in life

● Debilitations upon planets happen! (Definitely know this upon personal experience and my mothers chart)

Thank you, now enjoy you beautiful strangers ⭐

💖 Undeveloped placements can make really toxic people, and sometimes some might not even notice their actions if it's worse 🤨

💖 Cancer moons with good aspects probably have a strong bond with their mother, and as such have motherly/caring tendencies

💖 Aries in mars can really set their mind to anything if they try! 😄

💖 Capricorn in 3rd house prob disliked school 🏃‍♀️

💖 Gemini moons can cheer someone up with their wit easily. The can probably talk a lot as well when they want to

💖 I've seen a lot of Virgos who are laid back and totally kind about everything. My best friends a virgo dominant and is so none judgemental. However a Virgo with a cancer moon might get a little upset easily because they analyze everything and become worried or anxious about a lot, this can bring a moody attitude sometimes because of this turmoil 🥺

💖 Capricorn dominants don't give af how they act in a relationship, let me rephrase, they aren't insecure or shy to show another part of themeselves. I've seen capricorn doms totally yell at someone else in front of their lover 🤺

💖 Sun in the 12th probably had a distant dad, dad issues, or didn't have one at all. They can be more insecure than the general person. If sun is conjunct the ascendant with the sun in the 12th, then I can definitely say that the person has a good chance to overcome it and become more confident in themselves over time. The 12th may help keep over confidence at bay and a humble confidence stay! 😃

💖 Juno persona chart is amazing for finding out about your future spouse! I looked at my moms and found very specific things that were extremely true about my dad, normal and even negative!

💚 8th house ruler in the 1st could definitely make someone have a magnetic quality or sex appeal even if they don't try. Their aura could just simply emit it even if not physically.

💚 People who have ketu (south node) in the 7th house of the Navamsa (D9) or even the regular natal chart DOESN'T mean you won't marry. People can have this and go through different affects of it. Some people seem to feel like they are not fully satisfied like they thought they would be after they married, some don't want to get married, also, yes, some don't marry at all, but also some may just have some karma/stuff they will learn and grow from in the marriage, which isn't always bad!

💚 Having rahu (north node) and ketu (south node) on opposite houses in the natal chart and navamsa (D9) chart can give a rare opportunity to open up their kundalini. (Ex: NATAL - 1st house ketu/7th house rahu, NAVAMSA - 1st house rahu/7th house ketu)

💚 Sagittarius ascendant in Navamsa (D9) chart can make someone interested in higher knowledge/learning after they get married or turn 36. Whether it range from philosophy, college education, etc.

💚 Wherever Leo is placed can show an area of interest for the person or what shines out about that person unless Leo is malefic or in bad tides.

💚 Taurus in it's home (the 2nd house) is amazing for cooking skills 😄

💚 A yod in someones chart is fated and will happen no matter what. Whenever the yod is activated (like through transits and such) then it can either cause turmoil or absolute good events to take place. It depends on whether it's seen as a "good" or "bad" yod. HOWEVER, no yod is ever bad or good, I say it to put some form of name on it based on how a lot of us humans see things :) but "bad" yods are actually good for learning from different situations. "Good" yods can access unwanted territory if the person is careless and make bad karma. Everything holds both sides 🙂

💚 I've seen one planet in bad tides/malefic in a house with other planets, totally change the course of that house. It's crazy. It depends on how powerful the planet is, what it's conjunct, if it can be overrided and such but, just, wOW 💀

💚 4th house in Navamsa/D9 chart can show more about your future home after marriage or at 36. What zodiac is in it and what's that zodiacs planet in? What planet is in the 4th and whats it's ruler? (Ex: Saturn in the 4th could be really traditional for a home after marriage, the type of classic home you would see on movies, the ones with some rules and such)

💙 Solar return is so accurate, it shows how your years theme will be. Mine has so many indicators of solitude and working on philosphy/healing/and spychic stuff! My year has legit just been that pretty much. Not done with the year so some things might not have happened yet!

💙 Saturn in any house can restrict some things. An example is the 9th, if it were there then there is potential for it to make possibilites for travelling and getting a higher education slower. (Only talking about if it's by itself atm) However! If the moon is in the same house, then the moon helps saturn and speeds up the process for what it could have been if saturn was alone. It will help saturn go a little faster :) (conjunct helps quicker but being in the same house is close enough)

💙 Of course I've seen a lot of Leo MC people want fame or recognition of some kind (not all but a lot) but if there is malefic planets aspecting anything with the sun or the MC, there have been people who will do shady things or bad things just for clout or simple attention

💙 Juno in the ascendant can make someone radiate marriage material. If someone has a crush on you then they may think about the possibilities and how it could nicely turn out. You might seem like you'd be a good wife/husband or parent. It's a sweet placement

💙 Mars in the 11th I've noticed can have energetic friends, or fire dominant friends. This placement can make for passionate rioters as well if someone was to join a strike or something

💙 I've seen a lot of smokers with mars in the 8th/12th. It makes sense though, 8th is more about taboo stuff (some people think smoking is absolutely taboo or just terrible to see) and the 12th can be seen as escapism in any way

💙 Also moon in the 12th can enjoy drinking alchohol from time to time. For a more intense placement with maybe some malefic aspects, it can cause an alcoholic.

💙 Believe it or not, my grandmother is a Sagittarius, (Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter) and Pisces traditional ruler is Jupiter, which traditionally also ruled the 12th. The 12th can represent escapism. As a Sagittarius sun she is also a major alchaholic (wouldn't take this extremely or anything, just a simple observation of mine)

💙 Scorpio/Cancer/Aries/Libra/Taurus dominants or in the big 3 can be quite protective. Especially Scorpio and Cancer, don't mess with their family or loved ones or they will make sure to mess with yours 🤷‍♀️ I've seen Aries sometimes not show this but they will when they need to, same with scorpio actually

Also sorry I haven't been posting. Busy with classes and also personal reflection periods 😂

Have an amazing day! 🤍

Now 😡

Or I will take away your birthchart 😃

#astrology #zodiac #astrology observations #all zodiac signs #astro notes #gemini #cancer zodiac #scorpio #libra sign #astro observations #natal chart #leo #saggitarius #taurus #virgo #astrovations #astrovation

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mid-weast · 4 years ago

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Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.

Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader

Words: 2.6K

Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).

Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!

“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”

Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.

You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.

You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.

As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which

you opened the door.

“Can I help you, lil boy?”

From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.

"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.

Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.

"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"

He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."

"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.

If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"

He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”

You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.

"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"

He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.

And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.

Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.

He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest

You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."

He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”

Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"

Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.

Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.

"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."

At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.

You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.

"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"

Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.

After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!

"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.

"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”

Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.

"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."

"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”

You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.

You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”

Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....

“Well I-“

“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”

You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.

He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.

When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.

“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.

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therealvinelle · 4 years ago

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What if Bella got possessed by a demon in Twilight? Like pretty standard, The Exorcist type of stuff.

A lot of you anons should just head on to Ao3 instead of my inbox because whereever you went with this fic idea, I’m sure it’d be delightful. Lulzy, but an absolute delight.

Since you say Twilight, I’ll just set the timeline to the beginning of the series, when Bella has just arrived in Forks. She got possessed just before leaving, as Renée wanted to try an ouija board.

So, for the purposes of this ask, demons are real within the Twilight universe. They have to be very few and far in between, though, since humans don’t know about them and they presumably don’t care about following the Volturi law.

Bella is Reagan and the demon Pazuzu has taken up residence within her.

As happened in The Exorcist, this isn’t very noticeable at first. Bella starts saying some messed up things, yes, enough so that the other kids at school avoid her and the teachers give Charlie a call, but she’s not running down the stairs like a spider. Charlie is worried about her behavior and calls Renée about this, but he’s not dialing up any priests just yet.

Well, Bella gets worse.

Edward, for the record, was interested in this delicious smelling girl with the mystery box brain up until she started spouting profanities in the hallways at other students. Not being able to read her mind, he assumes Bella Swan is just like that. There’s no challenge, no reward, nothing to keeping her alive, his only real reason for not eating her at this point is Carlisle. Though his sheer distaste at that vulgar human who dares to tempt him so makes him resistent to drinking her blood, just out of spite. She’s not his perfect damsel with the delicious blood, and that ruins a lot of the appeal. Not all, mind, because that blood is still delicious.

Though it does help when she’s pulled out of school. Edward can pretend vulgar hamburger doesn’t exist, even as he ruffles through her wardrobe for sweaters to huff.

Back to Charlie, whose daughter is now running down the stairs like the spider.

He sends her to every shrink he can afford, has all the doctors in Forks look at her, and none of them give him an answer he can believe. He’s at his wit’s end.

And this affliction, whatever it is, that’s affecting Bella, it doesn’t seem natural, not human. She speaks in tongues, sexually assaults herself (yes, this happens in the movie), growls and hisses like an animal, in every way acts like- well, whatever it is, Charlie’s ability to deny that this his daughter’s affliction is supernatural in origin is growing thin.

But none of the shrinks can help him with that, and Charlie is a “lapsed Lutheran”, so I doubt priests is something he’ll consider all that seriously. He needs occult help, yes, but from someone who will actually help Bella.

His mind turns towards Carlisle Cullen and his children, and how Billy reacted when they moved into town.

Charlie laughed off his friends’ fears then, thought it was ridiculous to believe the Cullens could ever be anything but human. He dismissed their unusual looks as just that, unusual looks, their too-good-to-be-true cover story as them being that wonderful, and was quite happy about it.

That was then, now his daughter is fast becoming proof that the occult is indeed real.

And Dr. Cullen is so very kind, excellent in his work as a doctor and above all knowledgeable.

Say that Billy was right, that these guys aren’t as human as they appear. Well, that makes them the only people in the world, in Charlie’s world anyhow, who might be able to help.

Which is how Carlisle has the town chief walk into his office, tell him his daughter is possessed by a demon, and that Carlisle has to come over and have a look at her.

Now, as I think demons would be extremely rare, we’ll allow that Carlisle with all likelihood hasn’t seen any of these before. Quite the contrary, he was once a man who persecuted women suspected of witchcraft. He understands Charlie a little too well, but is also not touching this exorcism quest with a ten-foot pole.

Except, the chief seems convinced that Carlisle himself isn’t entirely human.

What would a human doctor do?

Carlisle really has no choice here but to come with Charlie. Besides, no matter how one looks at it what Charlie said about Bella is highly disturbing, the girl obviously needs medical attention.

So Carlisle has a look at Bella, and his “ahahaha we’re all human in here” smile quickly stiffens as he finds that whatever’s going on with Bella, it is indeed not human. She’s spitting green goo, talking Latin backwards, inhumanly strong, impersonating Carlisle’s father, and depending on how closely we follow Pazuzu’s actions in The Exorcist she may have killed a man. There’s scars on her body spelling out pleas for help.

It becomes clear to Carlisle that this girl really does need an exorcism. Or something, anyway, this is terrifying new territory for him.

But he has neither any clue nor the authority to perform an exorcism, and he lacks the network to get his hands on a human priest who’ll do this. More, even if humans could help (and considering how misinformed they are about vampires, the odds of that are extremely slim), involving more humans than have already been pulled into this would not make the Volturi happy.

There’s really only one place to go where someone will have the resources to help this suffering human, and that’s Volterra.

There’s a risk that demons are like immortal children and Aro will kill her on the spot, but Carlisle, still spooked from father Cullen’s voice coming out of this 17-year-old girl in the 21st century, has no other recourse.

So he tells Charlie he’s taking Bella somewhere Charlie can’t follow, and it’s likely they’ll never see each other again, even if Bella is saved. Charlie is devastated, but the promise that his daughter could get better means he can’t refuse. Just the fact that Carlisle isn’t entirely human yet benign makes him the best help Charlie is able to get her.

Carlisle takes Bella to Volterra, where Aro puts on his best Max von Sydow impression and says “Ah, demons... I’ve seen this once before, in the memories of a merchant from Ur...”

Knowing Aro while not knowing the lore of The Exorcist well enough to know what to do about a demon possession if you don’t have a Catholic priest on hand, I imagine Aro dresses up in whatever it is that Sumerian priests wore thousands of years ago (he always told Caius those bedazzled costumes would come in handy someday, and look who was right! VINDICATION) and tricks Pazuzu into possessing one of the humans Heidi brought in instead. This human is promptly killed. Ta-da, Aro smiles to Carlisle, he solved the problem!

Bella wakes up surrounded by insanely beautiful people in an underground palace in Italy and remembers nothing. Carlisle gets the honor of explaining to this human girl that she was possessed by a demon, Charlie asked Carlisle to fix it, and now the nice man who makes jingling noises whenever he moves because he’s dressed head to toe in gold wants her to be a different kind of demon because he can’t read her mind.

Bella caught maybe half of that.

Carlisle refuses to elaborate on the “possessed by a demon” part. No, Bella, you did nothing embarrassing, no one thought you were weird. We hardly noticed you were possessed at all!

But he was serious about that last part, Aro noticed she has a special ability so he’d like for her to become a vampire.

Bella, still, overwhelmed, makes a phone call to Charlie explaining nothing at all but assuring him that the demon is gone. She is then made a vampire.

Edward arrives too late to the party, so late that the party is in fact over, as he didn’t believe Carlisle when he said hamburger was possessed by a demon. Now it turns out that the disgusting, vulgar girl was in fact a delicate flower and a damsel in distress this whole time. Except, now she’s a vampire. Woe! Theirs is a love that never bloomed.

Bella has no idea who this guy is, and asks Renata to make him go away.

#long post #the exorcist #twilight #twilight meta #twilight renaissance #bella swan #charlie swan #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #aro

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yanabortniks · 3 years ago

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basics.

full name: Yana Mikhailovna Bortnik

nickname: Yana is already a nickname technically. She was named after her grandma Dayana, but her extended family on her dad's side calls her by a variety of Russian diminutives such as Yanka, Yanusya, Yaya, etc. Yana doesn't expect her friends to use any of them, but Dev's allowed to use "Yaya" ♡

faceclaim: Fivel Stewart

age: 22

gender: cis woman

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: unlabeled

hometown: Marquette, Michigan

birthday: December 23, 1999

zodiac: Capricorn sun, Aries moon, Pisces rising

traits: responsible, patient, ambitious, extreeeemely independent, resourceful, loyal, organized, self-disciplined, cautious, methodical, suspicious, sensitive, know-it-all, often expects the worst, nosey, cheap, rarely satisfied

major: Psychology

more info.

Yana’s parents are both semi-functioning alcoholics and her relationship with them is very… strained. She goes to weird and sometimes extreme lengths to appease them in a way that seems sincerely useless because they either don’t care or don’t notice. And some people who don’t understand the situation might often feel that Yana is making it seem worse in her head via her projections and insecurities, but on the flipside Yana’s like okay but you don’t get it actually!

Last year her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and is doing fine now, but between thinking about grad school and her future and just her constant, CONSTANT worries about her parents’ health due to their substance abuse issues, she fully spiraled out. Went MIA. No one heard from her for a couple weeks. (Romy intervened ♡)

She’s currently waiting to hear back from PhD programs to become a clinical psychologist and will go literally anywhere that takes her and gives her good money. What motivates Yana is not perfection but success, and it does have the habit of driving her up the wall sometimes but that is just the kind of sacrifice she has to make in order to fulfill a goal.

Personality-wise, Yana is very much an extroverted introvert. She looooves being with her friends and she can spread herself out pretty thin sometimes, but she also needs to recharge on her own. She’s also very sincere and tries to push people toward vulnerability (tried to make the whole friend group watch the Brene Brown vulnerability TedTalk) and talk their issues out and always wants to take temp readings on how everyone’s doing. (Real picture of her: https://i.pinimg.com/564x/4a/1a/4c/4a1a4cf5baeb1172e6e29b6fff5fe714.jpg).

Again, she’s often Doing The Most, which can be helpful but also very aggravating for those around her sometimes, about stuff like, spending literal hours in a Saver’s and making you suffer under those fluorescents and writing long handwritten letters to communicate her feelings. But she is also often hands-off irt other people’s drama. Like, you come to her for deets that could maybe clear up a situation and sometimes she’s like…. “I don’t think it’s my place to say anything, you should talk to that person about it” and suddenly you’re wringing her neck. Xoxo.

UMMM other than that, she’s a loyal friend who wants to establish a FT schedule, keeps all her bad grades stuffed in a binder that she keeps in her room, has a lifelong obsession with Cher, will sometimes sincerely fall to the ground from laughing so hard at your jokes, is the jumpiest bitch in the biz, likes goofy humor and when her friends playfully make fun of her (to an extent eeek), doesn't drink alcohol or smoke weed (though she may indulge in a teeny tiny edible), NEEDS concrete plans, rocking her light blue crocs half the time, passionately adheres to the 5-second rule of dropped food (kinda gross), semi-estranged from her older brother, thinks she’s the worst daughter to ever exist and she should be met with chants of “shame shame shame!”, likes cheap Pinterst crafts, HATES when people pay for her to the point where it has caused actual tension, she's Buddhist, likes to meditate, is constantly trying new things to "heal" her (different teas and crystals and apple cider vinegar shots), has a tattoo that references Vienna by Billy Joel, etc. OH, and she’s an RA!

pinterest // playlist

#phantasm.intro #intro graphics my detested #photoshop my detested #don't mind me just blatantly copy-pasting what sam did #if you asked for deets on yana you basically got this whole spiel already

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abbynx · 4 years ago

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La Squadra Esecuzione as Best Friends Headcanons

Formaggio - Very chill, first and foremost, he is down for anything to do. Videogames? He'll try to beat your ass. Cat cafes? Heck ye he is down - The type of friend who will coax you to cut class to hang out behind the school or climb over the school fence to hang around the local arcade or theatre. But if he get caught, he won't snitch and he's willing to take responsibility. Begrudgingly. - Ohhhh physical touch is bare minimum for him. He'll occasionally lean on you, perhaps shrink himself to fit himself in your pocket just to platonically cuddle and perhaps, use you as a transport. - Will high five you as a greeting, and will high five you as a farewell. Usually followed by a hug too uwu "Bro!" He holds his hand out for a high five, in which you instinctively grant him one, when he also entwines his fingers through yours and pulling you for a hug, patting your back for a second and pulling away. "I missed you bro!" - Prepare for dumb jokes, dumb puns that he effortlessly come up with as time goes by. You can't go on a day without him cracking a joke. You'd either roll your eyes at it or laugh along with him. There's nothing in between "You see that guy over there, bro?" He leans on you, arm draped around your shoulder as he points at a person from afar. "Yeah, what?" "I say... You'd be a perfect match." You glanced at him, hearing him shake a box of matches as he wiggled his eyebrows with a dumb grin. - *Finger guns and bro intensifies* Illuso - That weird person you don't see yourself associating yourself with somehow befriended him for some reason. Most likely started when you both started to wake up at 3 AM and meet in the middle of the dark, in the kitchen, wanting to grab something to eat. At first it is awkward, but soon you learned to bond through it! And soon enough, your midnight chats extended to become actual friendships! - Seems distant, but he cares. He's the type pretend not to care about you, but will glare (or more than glare depending at the severity) at people who hurt you. He is the 'I'm the only one allowed to insult them like that' type of friend. "Huh, Formaggio hasn't been teasing me. I wonder what happened." You wondered aloud, as you say beside your friend Illuso. "Must be because of his bruised jaw. The previous mission must've been tough for him." "Yeah... That..." - Probs touched-starved. He acts irritated and push you away when you try to hug him, but secretly loves it. If you stop trying to hug him, he'd be kinda sad but will not say anything. - This friendship includes you listening to him rant about every little thing, and brag about things he can't do. He appreciates you listening to be honest, and that's initially how your friendships started anyways. - Will use derogatory terms as a term of endearment. Please don't be offended, he doesn't mean any offense "Hey idiot! Get your sorry ass right here! Risotto said we have someone to take care of!" "Thanks, dumbass." "Eyo slut! Take a look at this fugly idiot!" - Does not have the habit of knocking. In fact, he just barges into your room, through the mirror. In more than one occasion has he seen you undressed but he couldn't care less about it. "Hey dumbass can I borrow your— hey, stop screaming! Anyways I ran out of hair ties, do me a solid—" - Everyone around you being confused to how you two are most unlikely to become friends, but you two are practically unlikely twins Prosciutto - You can not stop me from assuming he is quite the mom friend if you pry his shell hard enough. Perhaps a mom friend mixed with tsundere friend. "Hey! Drink your water or I'll break your ankles! No I don't care that we're in the middle of killing someone! I packed you some water and you didn't drink it! Well shit I didn't pack it specifically for you, I just managed to pack extra! Now go ahead and drink, I'll handle this one myself! While you're at it, coat yourself with sunscreen! If I hear you whining about being burnt, I swear to God—" - If you happen to be a mom friend too, you'd be bonding over the

mutual stress of having to look over the rest of the gang over a glass of wine as chaos around you ensues because you two decided to take a small break. "Formaggio and Ghiaccio is up at it again..." You sigh, swirling the content of your stemware as the distant bickering of the two aforementioned assassins echoed. "Just... Let's just lay low. It'll be over soon." Prosciutto sighs along as well, before downing his glass of whiskey. "Hopefully." And it didn't end, as it ensued and progressive got worse. Stands were called, knives were thrown, guns were shot. And two mom friends of La Squadra almost lost their voice from all the yelling and lecturing - Will scold you for your bad habits. Bad posture? He will walk behind you, press his knee on your back and roll your shoulders back whilst he lectures you about it. Messy time management? Will buy you crap to make you keep track of time. Sleeping so late? He will take whatever you're distracted with, demand you to turn your lights off as he lights soothing scented candles and tossing you some comfortable blankets to use. Barely taking care of yourself? Bro prepare yourself. "I don't understand how you live like this! You'd be dead if you were to continue that habit! At least help me help you to make you be better!" - Very blunt and honest to the point it stings, but he never lies to people he is closed to. He prefers being upfront with his loved ones and will try to rebuild their confidence and reassure them that they can be better than what they are. "When I say you're idiotic, you're but a burden, I mean it. You have all rights to be hurt by it, but don't just live with it. Prove me wrong, that you can be better than that and you'll be the best version of yourself. I know you can do it." - Will accept hugs, but will most likely not hug back. Maybe he'll just out one hand on your back and lightly stroke it, but that's it. But in rare occasions, he will return them too. Sometimes, he'll even initiate it. - Your connection to him as a friend has lead several advantages. No one in general can make a negative comment about you with Prosciutto around. His glare alone was scary and they would not wish to stick around and find out what he can do than just glaring. - Extremely appreciates when you help him around by simply carrying things for him, fetching him coffee and actually doing your damn job properly is enough to make him be filled with gratitude. Pesci - Baby. Okay, so this boy. Boy oh boy, he is baby. Take care of him, bro. Don't coddle him to the point of him being entirely dependent on you, but sis you can always reassure and make him improve himself! Perhaps a tamer version of his relationship with his brother. - You two will mostly likely be friends because you always defend him from the others from teasing him and rooting for him. He is very grateful for it and can't thank you enough. Either that, or Prosciutto paid you to babysit him. - Will constantly cling on your arm when he's anxious. It's up to you whether you'll snap at him and slap his hand away, or just let him hang around you. He'll just simply grab your wrist, and sooner and later he'd have his body pressed against yours, completely clinging on the entirety of your arm. "D-don't leave me, Y/N! I'm scared—!" - He is extremely thankful for you watching over him and protecting and by this, he tries to improve himself a lot more just so he can confidently say he can watch over you and protect you as well - Just the sweetest little thing, whenever he'd be away with Prosciutto for a mission he'd return home bearing gifts from travel and he'd give it to you. It would be something either miniature, or something practical like a knife sharpener or something. "I-I got this for you... I hope you like it! Big bro helped me pick!" - Honestly, I can imagine him just being the best, supportive and encouraging friend there could be. If ever you needed someone to confide in, he'd just sit and listen and will certainly not repeat what you told him to others. He'll try his best to comfort

you, taking inspiration to how you comfort him and will just try his best to make you feel better. "I know life is rough and hard and bad, but you always told me it will change and soon it all be over and better. It's good that you recognise you're in a bad place, now you need to take a break and then later you won't even know you've already forgotten your problem! It's okay to be sad, too, but not for too long." - The type of friend that will share anything he has. He has a cookie with him? Shit, he'll split it in half and give the other half to you. Some soda? Well I hope you don't mind drinking from the same can as he is, he will give it to you. Melone - So this nerd isn't a complete creepy pervert, not entirely at all. He's chill for most of the time, so he's a neat company if you don't mind him bombarding you with questions regarding your genetics, heritage records, blood type, zodiac signs and whatnot. But knows when to stop. - You most likely befriended him because he is one of the chill people in the group... Somewhat. Or perhaps you just started to bond over mutual love for steamy, erotic novels from the same author. If this man has shame, his guilty pleasures would be reading these types of trashy novels filled with smut. - He is great as a wingman. Complain to him about your lack of a love life, he'll observe your types and he'll somehow come up with a list by the next day enthusiastically listing them to you in a PowerPoint presentation. "If you're into girls, I have this one right here! She's compatible with your zodiac sign, although she has quite the temper she can be extremely passionate and affectionate— or perhaps you're into men, that I have as well. Several, actually. This other fellow right here is also a part of Passione from the Human trafficking branch, stoic and quite a stern one, but knows when to lay low at times and appreciate those around him— either him or the girl, you'd make good babies together!" "Melone, what the fuck—" - Very touchy. He'd lean his head on your lap as you both read on the couch, or randomly put his head on your shoulder during meetings, grab you by the arm while crossing the road, smacking your ass as a greeting (if you tell him stop, he'd stop of course), will pretend to kiss you just so he can see your reaction, anything. He is one affectionate nut that he sometimes forget about personal spaces. If you're not particularly fond of being touched like I am, simply tell him nope. I mean, he'd be sad but will respect your boundaries. The only time he'll actually respect established boundaries, to be honest. - Knows the most random facts and will share them to you for the fun of it. Additional to that, he will also mutter his shower thoughts and random cursed facts out loud just so he can curse you with the knowledge and confusion. "Did you know that dolphins masturbate using dead fishes? Also, there was an experiment involving dolphins in which one of the scientist fell in love and had sex with it. Another fact, is that dolphins are also seen doing the deed—" "Okay, Melone, I get it! Dolphins aren't as innocent as they seem! Stop ruining it for me already!" ... "Did you know that a woman once used mayonnaise as a lubri—" "MELONE!" - Being his friends meaning being his impulse control. If he intends to use his Stand on some innocent passerby just for the heck of it (for science, as he claims), smack him by the wrist and glare at him. If he eyes a particular someone for too long that the person gets too uncomfortable, try to divert his attention away. "Ow! Y/N what the heck—!" "What did I told you about oogling at people? It's impolite and creepy, stop that!" - He may not seem like it, but bro he cares a lot. If ever you had a problem, he'd sit and listen, offer you his shoulder to cry on, and perhaps hang out to divert your attention away from what's bothering and hurting you. And if you need advice, he'll try his best to come up with a flawless solution to your problems. But if comfort is what you need, his arms are open baby. Ghiaccio

- Bro you must need emergency ear plugs for this one, he is a massive screamer, a ticking time bomb with no timer that will erupt at random. If ear plugs aren't enough, cover your ears. - Befriending him was an impulse control befriending him. Well, all you did was to constantly try to calm his tits and cool his head to the point he actually barges in your room to hang out so that he can cool his head from all of the shenanigans occuring all around him, or maybe he just had another thought about something maddening about the world. "WELL WHY?! WHY IS WOMEN'S CLOTHES SIZING CHART DIFFER FROM EACH STORE?! THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE! INCHES AND CENTIMETRES EXISTS FOR A REASON, DAMNIT!" - There are moments where he isn't screaming, thankfully and he's a decent person to talk to. If you're a listener, he'll do the talking, just ranting about things, rambling on and on, before complaining, and then another outbursts comes out. By this, you simply sigh, put a hand on his shoulder and talk to him in a gentle, calming voice. It usually does the trick. Formaggio and Melone joked about this talent of yours as witchcraft. - He appreciates you a lot and honestly doesn't know what to do without you and by that, he knows he has to reciprocate the care you give him somehow to show he is grateful of your friendship and care. He isn't the type to be physically affectionate, but he is extremely thoughtful about his closed loved onesa and prefers to be practical about it. He would save you your seat in meetings, fetch you snacks if he ran out for an errand, etc etc. Extremely observant of your mannerisms, that he might point that out to you and you won't even realise you do that. - So like, he is very protective as a friend. He will do something whenever someone has wronged you in any way. The others teasing you? Bam, he'll shoot them back with a witty insult. Your s/o cheated on you? Ohohoho boi, be prepared to see their name on a headline on the daily news. Your order was wrong? Bam, he'll have the waiter shaking in fear from a screaming, angry Italian mafioso as he demands for them to remake your order correctly. "WELL CAGACAZZO?! QUIT STANDING AROUND AND GET ORDERS CORRECTLY—" "G-Ghiaccio it's just a minor thing, let it go—" "THEY SERVED YOU AN INGREDIENT YOU SPECIFICALLY TOLD THEM NOT TO INCLUDE BECAUSE YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO IT! WHY ARE YOU LETTING THIS SLIDE OFF?!" - All in all, he's just glad you're there for him because damn, someday his temper is going to get the best of him and he doesn't know what to do. And with your friendship, he's learned how to cope with his spontaneous anger by carrying soothing stuff to ease his nerves (courtesy of your suggestions and gifts for him) - Basically the dynamic of a rapid gremlin with rabies and a calm, sunshine personified angel. Everyone (Riz, including, but he's more subtle and dry about it) joked about the unlikely friendship, and how your ears must've lost a little bit of hearing capacity. Rissoto - I feel like he'd be extremely attached to a childhood friend. You've been friends since before you underwent the drastic change by going through a lot to get to where he is now, and still the only person that stuck around with him was you. By that, you became the most trusted by him due to the fact you've known each other for very long. - As his best friend, you're his confidant and finds himself often going to you if ever he needed advice, or needed to vent about his stress. He really isn't vocal but when he's confiding in you, his words spill out of his mouth usually sealed tightly just steadily flows, his big strong Capo veneer falls apart in front of you but he doesn't necessarily feel unsafe by being vulnerable. That's how he trusts you. - No one will dare to bad mouth you in front of the Capo, or else there'd be hell to pay for. I mean, teasing is fine, he knows you can handle burns from team mates here and there (and will silently smirk at it) but he will not stand it if they attempt to belittle you for something unreasonable. "Watch your mouth. That was

out of their control, stop blaming them for something they can't do." - The type of friend that doesn't know how to comfort someone, but will try their best. So as you spill your heart out, tears, snot, sweat and all, he'll just pull you to his chest and awkwardly pat your shoulders to get you calm and comforted. Not to mention, he is extremely stiff at the hug and is very unsure what words to say to you to not upset or offend you any further, so he'll just ride it out smoothly, and let you let it all out on his chest. It's not like he can't wash your tears, snot and sweat on his chest anyways. - Since he is very non-vocal, he's a good listener so rant all the way! Complain about the weather, about your lack of love life, about how underpaid the hitmen team is, anything! He won't find the perfect response, so he'll just nod along and perhaps comment occasionally on what your saying. "So like, ugh, I am soooo frustrated at how Prosciutto could say that to Pesci! He makes a good point, but it's redundant for him to be too harsh on him! Look, all I'm saying is, maybe Prosciutto should start choosing his words correctly so that Pesci won't feel too upset! You know???" You glanced at your friend, as he simply sat attentively beside you. He nods silently as a response. "Anyways—" - Extremely great at deduction and the way he reads people so easily is so unreal. And so he uses this to his advantage to know what's up with you whenever you seemed off. By this, he's able to tell whenever you're upset but scared to talk about it, frustrated but too busy to talk about, etc etc. And with this, he takes the time to drag you to take a seat, and talk about what's been bothering you. If you don't wish to talk about it at all, he'll let you be after with a reassurance that you can overcome whatever the heck you're going through. - Everyone is surprised that you two aren't married??? That you're just friends??? The way you two look just makes you two look like a couple and it boggles the others how you two aren't one.

#la squadra x reader #platonic #jjba part 5 #jojo golden wind #formaggio x reader #prosciutto x reader #pesci x reader #illuso x reader #melone x reader #ghiaccio x reader #risotto x reader #headcanons #friendship #x reader

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rwprincess · 4 years ago

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Midnight Sun'd Prologue (Brian Johnson x Fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Word Count: 10.5K (She like...20 pages long. Sorry).

Synopsis: My movie/Canon Prologue, but from Brian’s POV. That’s right, I’m Midnight Sun-ing this b*tch.

CW: Underage marijuana smoking, suicidal ideation, self-deprecating thoughts/self-doubt, low self-esteem, swearing, child abuse, parents being terrible, sexuality (since this is based on the movie, nothing is really outside the scope of the movie in terms of content).

Saturday, March 24th, 1984

Shermer High School, Shermer Illinois

Brian knew why he was here. In fact, he thanked his lucky stars that Saturday school, or detention, rather, had been his punishment. If this hadn’t been an extremely out-of-character first offense for him, he surely would have been suspended, or even expelled. His family had made their disappointment clear, especially when his mother told him to find a way to study and make amends today, even if he was asked to just sit in a room with strangers and reflect on what he did. When he arrived in the library, he was surprised to see Claire Standish already sitting there. She, of course, did not look up or make eye contact with him, but he chose to sit at the table behind her nonetheless. Before he could gather the courage to ask her what a popular, polished girl like herself could possibly be doing here, another two figures approached the doorway. Andrew Clark’s large, stocky frame loomed there for a moment before excitedly spying Claire. Again, no attempt was made to include Brian; he was practically invisible at this school, which was a big part of his underlying problems and self esteem here at Shermer High. It wasn’t so much that Brian wanted or needed popular people like Claire or Andrew to notice him. He didn’t really look up to them or desire their attention. It was just that, sometimes, it felt like everyone looked through him, as though he wasn’t even there. Adults acknowledged him, sure. He was polite and an overachiever, the perfect student. But his peers didn’t take much stock in him. He had a few loyal, true friends, but rarely did anyone outside of his particular interest groups reach out to him.

As Brian settled into a seat behind Claire, he took note of the second figure who had entered, the one who came in shortly after Andrew. It was her. Brian had to restrain himself from gawking when she entered the library, as she was one of the absolute last people he could ever picture earning a detention. Brian knew her from his English class last year; he had been stunned by her beauty the moment she entered the room that first day of high school and felt the same nervous, heart-pounding sensation he felt now, seeing her enter the library. He lamentably had zero classes with her this year, but he would see her in the hallways sometimes and that old familiar feeling would come rushing back to him, reminding him of the crush he had on her all last year. Back then, he had sat behind her, across the room and would catch himself staring at her or admiring her answers and volunteered opinions. His strong suit was in the more concrete subjects: science, math, that sort of thing. So the insightful analyses she would give always impressed him, and through them he got the sense that she was smart but also kind. This was precisely why he was shocked to see her here now, having earned the same consequence he had for bringing a weapon into school. But he couldn’t imagine her doing anything like that, anything to warrant this. He not-so-discreetly watched her as she hurried across the room and took a seat in the front row opposite to him. She, like Claire and Andrew, had not made eye contact or acknowledged him. Her seeing right through him hurt more, though.

Brian had sat down, but had not quite unpacked as he was still reeling from the revelation of Y/N being in the same detention as him, and that meant he would be in the same room as her for nine hours. He hadn’t even noticed John Bender stalk into the library, surveying the landscape that he was clearly king of. That is, until Bender stopped in front of him and snapped his fingers to get his attention and indicated for him to move out of his seat. Even if Brian weren’t the type to try to accommodate someone, a people pleaser, he would have followed John Bender’s instructions. Everyone in school knew of his reputation, and while some things were probably a lie (like throwing flaming toilet paper over Mrs. Applebaum’s house), some were definitely true, including his penchant for getting into fights. Brian had never had to fight someone before and he was pretty sure he lacked the capability to do so. Simply put: he would get his ass kicked. So he got up immediately and moved to the next seat over...right behind Y/N. He noticed that she stiffened, sat up straighter, as he slid into the seat behind her. So she had noticed his existence. But from her body language, he assumed that she didn’t particularly enjoy his presence. ‘Great. Perfect way to start this whole shitty day,’ he thought. At one point, Brian would have fancied himself an optimist, but lately that attitude was all but gone...not that his current situation helped much.

He also noticed the girl with black clothes, heavy makeup, and messy hair quickly walk along the outside of the tables and sit behind him, facing away from not only himself, but the entire group. He raised his eyebrows in disbelief, ‘Should be an interesting time,’ he thought while taking stock of her, Bender, the populars, and...Y/N. It still puzzled him that she could be here. Bender made total sense. Everyone knew that he practically lived here in detention. Based on how she looked and seemed to make herself comfortable, Brian guessed that the girl behind him also was a regular here. While he didn’t exactly expect Claire or Andy to be here, he wasn’t hugely shocked by it. Claire probably skipped school or was rude to a teacher or something and Andrew was an asshole anyway. He fit into the jock stereotype pretty well, all brawn and no brains, picking on those that he saw as weaker than him. Maybe that’s why he was here.

Vice Principal Vernon walked haughtily in, looking down on each and every one of them; a lord surveying his fiefdom. Brian’s posture stiffened as he both tried to show respect and unconsciously showed his fear of the man. The last conversation with him had also involved his parents and that was abhorrent, a total disaster. The recollection of the event made him nauseous. Right after he spoke, Claire raised her hand, “Excuse me sir, I think there’s been a mistake. I know it’s detention, but, um...I don’t think I belong in here.” Internally, Brian rolled his eyes. He didn’t really know Claire (he suspected that no one really truly did), but he had always been under the impression that she was full of herself. All of the popular clique seemed to be that way, just full of arrogance. And here she was announcing how she was better than all of them in front of them. Vernon completely ignored her statement and told them it was 7:06, on the dot. Brian quickly looked down at his watch and aligned it to Vernon’s time. He was very particular about organization and precision.

As Vernon started his speech about rules, Brian tried to shift slightly over, get comfortable. But Vernon looked right into him and Brian could swear he saw into the depths of his soul as he said, “You will not move from these seats,” and pointed right at him. He froze like a deer in the headlights and quickly moved back. Brian had almost always blindly followed authority and now was definitely not the time to change that. Vernon continued and Brian only half-listened, looking around to gauge how the rest of the group was reacting, until he heard him say, “Good. So, maybe you’ll decide whether or not you care to return-” He saw this as the perfect time to redeem himself and started to stand up, raising his hand.

“Um, you know, I can answer that right now, sir. And that would be a no for me-”

“Sit down, Johnson.”

“Thank you, sir.” Brian sat back down, gulping. His embarrassment was only made worse noticing that Y/N had turned around to look at him when he started speaking. He wasn’t so invisible now, just his luck.

*~~~~*

There was little to no surprise that Bender antagonized the group. His main targets seemed to be Claire and Andrew, but he was making snide or crude remarks to everyone, and this made Brian very uneasy. He hated conflict and confrontation, which was probably why he had brought a flare gun to school rather than talk to his Shop teacher about replacing his failing grade or talk to his parents about how much he was truly struggling. He tried to take his mom’s advice about just doing work. He tried to convince the others to just write their assigned essays and not end up in a fight, but it didn’t work. He reasoned that he could at least do the right thing, but he couldn’t help but keep getting drawn into their conversations. It was almost like watching a trashy soap opera...or a staged wrestling match. “Go to hell!” Claire screamed at Bender, and Brian looked nervously to the door. Vernon surely heard that and would come storming back in, right?

But he didn’t, so Andy continued their conversation and got in a new dig at Bender, “You know, Bender, you don’t even count. If you disappeared forever it wouldn’t make any difference. You may as well not even exist anymore.” Brian gulped, thinking about his recent and frequent thoughts about how he himself ‘may as well not even exist anymore.’ He was doing...okay since the day he had had a semi-plan to take his own life, but the feelings didn’t just stop. He was still failing Shop, of all classes. He was still a disappointment and burden to his parents. He was still invisible at school, to Y/N. None of that went away when Mr. Ryan found the gun in his locker. Bender turned Andrew’s comment around and said he’d go out and join some clubs.

Now, Brian saw his opportunity to be less invisible, maybe. “I’m in a math club!” He blurted out. No dice. Bender and Claire just continued bickering, ignoring him completely. But he couldn’t help it when he stated “I’m in the Physics Club, too,” in their direction just hoping, praying that someone would acknowledge him. He hadn’t counted on that person being Y/N, though. She’d turned slightly towards him and his blue eyes flickered to hers and he froze. Having been lost in the argument between the others, he had almost forgotten that she was there. She gave him a gentle smile and a nod that made him gulp. He’d suddenly failed to remember how to breathe, how to function and his mind was only filled with a channel of ‘Oh shit. She’s looking at me.’

But then she added, “I’m in the Drama Club.” Of course, he knew that, but it was still nice for her, of all people, to be making conversation with him. He was immediately forced to snap out of it, though, when Bender addressed him.

“Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?” While Brian hated the look John gave him (it was much too similar to his parents’ frustrated looks when he was clearly ‘bothering’ them with something), Brian felt compelled to answer. He had wanted to be noticed, to be involved in the conversation, right?

“Well, what I’d said was, I’m in the Math Club, the Latin Club, uh, and the Physics Clu-Physics Club,” he stumbled through his words nervously. He felt regret instantly as Bender turned it around as a slight on Claire, and also managed to insult him by calling him a dork in the process. Still, he yearned for his attention and approval, so he eagerly answered John’s follow up questions. He just wanted to get along with everyone and have them accept him, and even though John was just using his input as ammunition against Claire, he liked that he was at least being included.

*~~~~*

It was a long, dragging morning. It was only around 10AM and topics of conversation seemed to already run out. Everyone was now more or less keeping to themselves. At first, Brian thought about writing his essay, as he said he planned to, but why bother? There were still many hours to fill, and how was he possibly supposed to answer the prompt of Who Am I? He truly did not know. He’d actually been pondering that a lot lately. All of his life he was praised for his smarts, but the ‘real world’ was showing him that that didn’t mean jack shit. Sure, he could understand difficult concepts and dissect complex equations, but that meant nothing if he couldn’t apply it. He thought he was taking the easy way out with Shop. It was meant to be a class he didn’t have to worry about; a stress-free A to keep his GPA up while juggling various clubs and volunteer opportunities to put on his college applications next year. But it ended up being a total nightmare. He was absolutely terrible at it, and he had never failed at anything before. Now the burn-outs and underachievers had the upper hand and were able to make their projects work and look good and he had...nothing. He failed so miserably that it tanked his self-esteem and now he was stuck in an identity crisis. It was much too early on a Saturday to confront those demons, so instead he chose to sit and daydream. And subconsciously, as with many teenage boys, his attention fell to girls. As much as he thought Claire was self-centered and spoiled, he had to admit that she was attractive. She carefully curated herself to be so. She had perfect, beautiful red hair that was never out of place, flawless makeup, perfectly fitting chic clothes...and she was staring into space licking and biting her lip, which had him completely flustered. Y/N only added to it by adjusting and stretching in her seat. Her beauty was more effortless than Claire’s, or at least seemed less...intentional. She did not have the designer clothes and her hair was more natural than trendy but alluring in her own right, and the way she was pushing her chest out was not helping. He could feel the shift and tightness in his khakis and tried to nonchalantly clear his throat, but now Y/N was turned three-quarters around and could clearly see him, so he tried to sneak his hat into his lap and acted like nothing was going on by setting his head on the desk. ‘Oh shit. Oh fuck.’ were the chorus of his thoughts as he could see her quickly turn back around and face forward. ‘I’m sure she thinks I’m a creep now. Great going, Johnson,’ he chastised himself.

Vernon was almost a welcome sight when he strode into the library at 10:20 to allow them to use the “lavatory.” Brian almost let out a sigh of relief. Almost. When they returned to the library and it was clear that Vernon wouldn’t return for a while, Bender started ripping up a book and when he threw it at Brian, the latter took that as his cue to walk away. He spotted Y/N looking through the catalogue of books and approached her. “Hey.” He nodded in her direction, trying to play it cool and seem neutral. ‘Smooth. Great opening,’ he thought. But to his surprise, she actually said ‘Hi’ back and smiled. He had no idea what to talk about and didn’t really think this through, but the black-clad girl let out a startling, “HA!” that made them both jump.

Brain looked back to the others and heard Andrew sarcastically say, “Oh, you’re breaking my heart,” to Claire.

“Sporto?” Bender asked, “Do you get along with your parents?” Brian started to look between the two of them nervously.

“Well, if I say yes I’m an idiot right?” Andrew responded. Bender leapt over the ramp’s banister and started at the other boy.

“You’re an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, then you’re a liar too.” Not only did Brian not like being involved in confrontation, he also hated being witness to it. As Andrew followed Bender, he felt compelled to go break it up, put a stop to this.

“You want me to turn it up?” Bender asked, flipping off Andrew as Brian stepped between them, placing a hand on one of each of their shoulders. They smacked his hands away, almost in sync and he withdrew, but he knew words could be just as powerful as actions.

“I, I don’t like my parents either. I don’t know. Their idea of parental compassion is just...whacko.” Brian confessed.

“Dork? You are a parent’s wet dream, okay?” Bender replied, clapping him on his shoulder. It was a friendly enough gesture, but it actually dealt a devastating blow. Brian knew he was a disappointment to his parents. He was being open and honest with the group and was shut down immediately anyway. “...face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What would you be out doing if you weren’t making yourself a better citizen?” Another hit. This one made Brian sink against one of the tables. He hung his head and didn’t even notice Y/N approach him until she softly placed her hand on his shoulder.

“You okay?” She offered, gazing into his eyes. He was terrified that she would be able to read him and to see the truth, to see the sad and scared kid he truly was inside. Instead, he stiffened up and sat rigidly, clearing his throat of emotion.

“Yeah, thanks.” He also tried his best to ignore that she was touching him. If he weren’t in detention being told he was the epitome of geek by John Bender, he’d have sworn this were a dream. Bender now moved his disdain to Claire, asking if she were a virgin. Y/N shifted uncomfortably away from Brian and crossed her arms over her chest, but still stood next to him, watching the same drama unfold. Bender and Andrew soon stood in front of them, fully in a heated argument and Bender took a swing. Brian didn’t think twice and reflexively shot his arm up to shield Y/N. Sure, his crush on her might be stupid or silly, but he was not about to let her get caught in this crossfire and get hurt. He watched as Andrew wrestled Bender to the floor and Bender said, “I don’t want to get into this with you, man...cuz I’d kill you.” Andrew let him up and they seemed to separate and cool down, so Brian finally moved his arm back down, assuming the danger towards Y/N was gone but he was on-guard still, ready to move again if he needed to. “It’s real simple. I’d kill you and then your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a big mess, and I don’t care about you enough to bother.” For some reason, this hit Brian hard and he had to look away, look down to escape. But then he heard a click and his head shot up. Bender had pulled out a switchblade. His eyes went wide and he looked cautiously at Y/N who looked just as shocked. They all relaxed a little when he stabbed it into a chair instead of Andrew’s flesh, but immediately panicked again when the door audibly unlatched and opened. They scrambled to get to their seats, Bender quickly striding to the front and sitting far away from Andy so as not to implicate himself. But that meant that he had stolen Y/N’s seat. On her original route to it, she diverted and sat quickly and silently next to Brian. He swallowed hard in response.

Instead of Vernon, Carl the janitor walked in. They collectively sighed with relief and he addressed Brian. “Brian, how ya doin’?” Brian quickly averted his eyes, both embarrassed to be seen here by Carl (he stayed late in many clubs and had built up a good rapport with the man and didn’t need him thinking less of him for being in detention) and by being seen as associated with him by his peers. Carl was a great guy, really funny and nice; accommodated every need each one of his clubs had...but Brian was still a teenager and image was everything and being thought of as ‘dweeb who is friends with the janitor’ was not how he wanted to be seen.

“Your dad work here?” Bender inquired, smirking deviously. Brian just shook his head in response and didn’t answer Carl, either. “Carl, can I ask you a question? How does one become a janitor?” Bender continued.

“You want to become a janitor?” Carl asked, knowing that Bender didn’t really want to know.

“No, I just want to know how one becomes one. Andrew here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts.” Bender glanced over at Andrew and smirked again, pleased with his implied put-down.

“Oh really? You guys think I’m some untouchable peasant, serf, peon? Maybe so. But following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last eight years, I’ve learned a couple of things.” Carl looked towards Brian and Y/N, “I look through your letters.” Brian thought he saw her stiffen and freeze, just a little bit, as if Carl were addressing her. She suddenly shifted away from Brian and he wasn’t sure what to make of that. “...I am the eyes and the ears of this institution, my friend.” Carl stopped and smiled, “By the way. That clock is twenty minutes fast.” Brian looked at it and then his watch, noting that he was right. He wasn’t sure if he should adjust his wrist piece or not; to go with the time on the wall or the time Vernon was keeping. But he couldn’t be bothered with the choice when Bender stood up and faced his table. He was afraid of what he might do or say to them, but he simply nodded towards Y/N’s seat, indicating that she could have it back.

“I’m good for now,” she said, surprising Brian. He assumed she would have moved back, a moment ago she moved away from him, but now she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye before glancing back up at John, who was raising an inquisitive eyebrow. “Thanks for not dicking with my stuff though,” she said.

“Oh, shit.” Bender said “Do you think I should steal something or has the moment passed?” The tension seemed to drop and they all smiled as he went back to his seat, but he turned his attention back their way. “So, you’ve been pretty quiet, what’s your name?” Brian had a bad habit of blurting out. He liked answering questions as it was, showing his knowledge. A lot of the time, it didn’t matter if he was being asked or not. So, without thinking, he responded to Bender’s question and told him Y/N’s name. It was a reflex, but one he instantly regretted, feeling like he just shot himself in the foot. Bender gave him a look and he steeled himself for his worst, for the mockery sure to come, but instead he just looked at her and followed up with “Is that true? Is that your name?”

She didn’t acknowledge his weirdness either. She simply nodded and told John, “Yeah, (Y/N). Or, I guess you could call me (Y/N/N) if you want,” and Brian let out a quiet shaky exhale in relief. That could have been...disastrous. After a moment, while Bender was otherwise occupied, she turned to him and said, “Thank you, for earlier. I mean, blocking me when those two were getting into it.” He felt his heart race; he wasn’t sure she had even noticed that earlier, even though he wasn’t exactly subtle.

“N-no problem.” He responded, trying to restrain the smile creeping up onto his face. He wanted to play it cool, like it was no big deal, like that’s just what manly men such as himself do: put themselves in harm’s way for others.

Vernon came in to dismiss them for lunch much too early for his liking. He didn’t really have much of a chance to talk to Y/N while she was sitting next to him, and as soon as they were allowed to mill about like the caged animals they currently were, the remaining members of their detention gravitated towards Bender near the center of the library. Brian was slightly disappointed when she wandered off into the stacks as Bender looked through books and Claire continued her daydreaming. Not really sure what to do with himself, Brian folded his long legs over one of the ramp railings and sat atop it, hunched over. He looked up when Bender called out, “Hey, Peachy!” There were a few moments of silence before Y/N looked back over in their direction and Brian froze, immediately disliking Bender addressing her as such and worrying what uncouth thing he might say to her. But he just asked her what she could be in detention for, because she didn’t seem the type, which Brian wholeheartedly agreed with. He waited intently for the answer, as every interaction he had with her (or every observation, rather), she seemed so...sweet.

“Oh. Well, you know how in Biology they dissect like, frogs and shit every year?” She looked a little defeated and a blush crept up her cheeks as she continued, “I---sort of stole and freed the frogs.” Brian couldn’t help but laugh. That seemed like something you shouldn’t get detention for, anyway, but it was definitely on-par with the personality he knew her for. He felt relieved that the reason aligned with how he thought of her. She was in here for something nice, and debatably, the right thing. His heart melted a little when she told Bender that she had researched enough to let the frogs go responsibly; that she would have adopted them if they wouldn’t have made it on their own and he couldn’t help but smile in her direction. Bender, of course, moved on quickly, scanning one of the books in his stack to find new material to talk about, to bother the girls with, but Brian’s gaze was still fixated on Y/N. She was running her fingers along spines of books, seemingly in her own world. He felt like maybe it was fated that they were both here, like he was getting a second chance. He still hadn’t really conjured up the courage to talk to her yet, but they were only half-way through their day; there was still time.

“Claire? Y/N? You wanna see a picture of a guy with elephantitis of the nuts?” Bender asked, “Pretty tasty. How do you think he rides a bike? Oh Claire, would you ever consider dating a guy like this?”

“Wait,” Y/N’s eyes lit up and she looked their way again. “Elephantiasis? Like the movie The Elephant Man? Great movie! Really sad though.” Brian grinned at the way she scrunched her eyebrows together in remembering the emotion from the movie. He had seen it, too. It was really good...and touching. Maybe that could be his ice-breaker. Movies were normal things that normal teenagers talked about, right? He didn’t really notice that Bender and Claire were still conversing until it implicated him, though.

“Oh! Watch what you say. Brian here is a cherry.” Brian looked at him, startled.

“A cherry?” He asked, indignantly, cheeks flaring up with a red hue. “I am not a cherry.” He didn’t need Bender calling him out like this, embarrassing him. He didn’t need the obvious association that the nerd was a virgin. Especially in front of beautiful girls, particularly Y/N. She didn’t need to know that he was an inexperienced loser.

“When have you ever gotten laid?” Bender asked, doubtfully

“I’ve laid lots of times.”

“Name ONE.” Bender said, sarcastically, hoping to catch him in a trap.

“She lives in Canada. Met her at Niagara Falls; You wouldn’t know her.” Brian said, prepared with this answer from previous conversations about this topic. It wasn’t the first time he’d been involved in a conversation about virginity that he couldn’t be entirely honest about, nor was it the first time he had been mocked for being a virgin or doubted about the non-existent relations that he didn’t have. Even though part of his brain felt like it was glaringly obvious to the outside world and must have been stamped on his forehead that girls did not typically talk to him, nor had he even kissed a girl before, but he still lied about it anyway. He knew he didn’t precisely have an ‘image’ to protect, but he didn’t want to seem like a total lost cause or dweeby stereotype.

Bender, however, wasn’t having it. “You ever lay anyone around here?” He scoffed and Brian panicked. He had noticed that Y/N had turned back to the aisle of books and was praying she wasn’t listening, and Claire didn’t seem to be paying attention, so he tried to gesture to Bender to keep it down, to let him off the hook before either girl noticed him or this conversation. Bender immediately twisted it around and attacked him with it, though. Brian felt his heart being squeezed and felt overwhelmed, instantly, as Bender said, “Oh. You and Claire did it.”

“Oh, uh I-Let’s just drop it, okay? We’ll talk about it later,” Brian attempted to get out of it again, praying that John would have one ounce of mercy on him. However, Brian was never really very lucky.

“Well, Brian is trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Niagara Falls area, that presently you and he are riding the hobby horse.” Brian’s eyes slammed shut in embarrassment.

“You little pig,” Claire growled at him and his eyes shot back open wide. He scrambled to defend himself.

“No! I’m not! John said I was a cherry and I said I wasn’t. That’s it. That’s all I said.”

“Well then what were you motioning to Claire for?” Bender followed up, not giving Brian any wiggle room.

“You know, I don’t appreciate this very much, Brian.” Claire sounded more disappointed and hurt than anything, which made Brian feel like a slug, instantly. He didn’t mean to implicate her or to bring her down. He was just trying to hide his embarrassment from John and the girls.

“He is lying!” Brian tried one last attempt to deflect.

“Oh, you weren’t motioning to Claire?”

“You know he’s lying, right?”

“Were you, or were you not motioning to Claire?” Brian hated this. He’d been stuffed in lockers before and yearned for that over the torture Bender was inflicting now. He couldn’t save face; either he was a disgusting creep saying he had had sex with Claire when he didn’t, or he’d have to tell them the truth and feel humiliated at telling everyone he was a virgin. He grit his teeth and chose to go with the latter.

“Yeah, but it was only- it was only because I didn’t want her to know I was a virgin, okay?” They looked almost...shocked by his response, which he wasn’t expecting. He thought it would be a ‘Well, duh, you’re a virgin, Johnson! Who would want to touch you?’ But Claire and Y/N looked surprised. “Excuse me for being a virgin, I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you want me to know you were a virgin?” Claire asked honestly, like it was no big deal. If she only knew...

“Because it’s personal business. It’s my personal, private business.”

“Well, Brian, it doesn’t sound like you’re doing any business,” Bender snuck in another jab and Brian was brought down to what he knew all along, that they were just going to laugh at him.

“I think it’s okay for a guy to be a virgin.” Claire’s unexpected response gave him instant relief. She was taking his side and Bender had no more ammo. Brian perked up even more when Y/N agreed with her. It wasn’t an embarrassing secret for him now because they didn’t mind. They almost seemed to admire him for it. The thought caused his lips to twitch and he hid his smile by leaning his head against his knee.

*~~~~*

During lunch, Bender didn’t have any food, so his appetite turned to targeting the rest of the detainees again. He started in on Claire for a bit, but then came over to taunt Brian. It seemed like it could be friendly, at first, as John just examined his lunch. But as he drew out each item, his tone became more and more sarcastic. “Here’s my impression of life at Big Bri’s house.” Bender went on to mock him, painting his life like it was some episode of Leave It To Beaver where the family would all hug it out at the end. Brian’s throat became dry and he could feel eyes on both Bender and himself, trying to judge his reactions to John’s farce. He hated being such an easy target. He hadn’t done anything towards John personally, but he was still constantly in the hot seat because John could get away with it and the others would laugh and enjoy it. At least Andy fought back...even Claire did. And Bender didn’t even really bother to mess with Allison. She had an aura of ‘don’t fuck with me,’ and he didn’t even touch her as a subject, even though she was just as odd and out of place as Brian. Not to mention, he was wrong. It wasn’t all peachy-keen happy endings at Brian’s house. If it were, Brian wouldn’t be here today.

Still, it was hard not to be drawn in by John, and he watched his next dramatic retelling of his own home life in stunned horror. John’s dad called him terrible names in this act and hit him. “Is that for real?” Brian asked, brows furrowed. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe John, it was just that...well, the situation sucked and he needed to be told it wasn’t true. Like a kid hearing that a ghost story was made up and there was nothing to fear. But he knew by John’s pained expression that it was, even before he spoke.

“Wanna come over some time?” Bender asked him and he flinched away. Andrew didn’t believe him though, and questioned it so John revealed to them all his very real cigar burn scar on his arm, claiming he got it from spilling paint in the garage. The group collectively flinched and no one moved for a few moments while Bender said, “I don’t need to sit with you fuckin’ dildos anymore,” and raged through the library.

“You shouldn’t have said that,” Claire admonished Andrew.

“How would I know? I mean he lies about everything anyway.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.” Y/N snapped at him and looked back towards Bender as though she wanted to follow him. Brian tried to will her silently not to; he didn’t really trust that Bender would control his emotions and she might get hurt. He felt relieved when she turned around, but then his heart began pounding once more as she gathered her lunch into the sack and stood up. ‘No, don’t do it, Y/N.’ He stared at her, but she didn’t seem to notice as she cautiously walked past and crept up the library stairs to where Bender was and sat next to him. Brian felt a little calmed when Bender didn’t lash out; he just rolled his eyes but stayed rooted to the spot. Meanwhile, the rest of the group at their lunch in silence.

*~~~~*

Brian felt guilty for leaving Bender behind, for allowing him to sacrifice himself for the group. Hell, they all did. Especially when Vernon started shoving him around and saying he was going to be in jail. Brian couldn’t help but wonder if he could become like John. It’s not like he was born into that life. But he had it tough at home, struggled at school, and had problems with authority (particularly when they lied). Brian could see some parallels. He, too, was unhappy at home. While his parents didn’t beat him like John’s did him, or berate him to the same degree, he couldn’t help but feel like a disappointment. And he felt like he was just slipping. Now he had broken school rules, brought a gun to school, watched as others destroyed school property, and was gaining a healthy distrust of authority by seeing how Vernon acted today. He’d even corrected him once, when counting Bender’s detentions, not that the truth seemed to matter to Vernon anyway. What if he continued down this path? What if things just kept getting worse at home? Would it really be that bad to be like Bender? Despite being a total jerkwad, he had the charisma to draw people in. He’d even had Y/N eat lunch with him! It just didn’t seem like the deal was all bad when he looked at it that way. ‘What’s next? Are you going to take up smoking?’ His brain scolded him, even though he had completely forgotten that he had drugs stashed in his pants right now...until Bender fell through the ceiling and asked for them back. He dug them uncomfortably out of his underwear and handed the bag over. Bender took off to smoke in the library and Brian realized he had a choice to make. Boy, was he tempted. ‘What’s one more rule broken today?’ He felt more emboldened when Claire stood up and followed John. Andrew tried to talk him out of it, shaking his head. Brian drummed his hands on the desk. He wasn’t sure he’d have another opportunity. Most of his friends and acquaintances didn’t do drugs...to his knowledge, anyway. He thought momentarily about his cousin Kendall, and how he started smoking pot and didn’t feel like he belonged anywhere. ‘You already don’t feel like you belong anywhere,’ His mind reminded him, and with that, the decision was made; what did he have to lose? So he slunk off to join Bender and Claire.

It was...definitely a different experience. Brian didn’t care for the way his thoughts seemed so disjointed, that he couldn’t keep one train of thought going. For someone who was known for his intelligence and felt like his brain was his one good quality, it was a little scary to have that slip away. But, there was a sort of numbness that came with the drug that made him worry less about that. He felt less worried and anxious in general, actually. His focus was being pulled in too many directions to wonder what his parents would think or if he was saying the right thing, or if this could even be a mistake. He felt relaxed and oddly open. He was even making Bender and Claire laugh, which he hadn’t expected. It was like there was a new persona underneath that was unlocked. He didn’t know what he was doing, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever. He was, however, surprised by how long the effects lasted. It was a little more than an hour later and the whole group was sitting in a circle (Y/N and Allison never seemed to have joined them in the marijuana. Not that he had noticed, anyway) and Allison was telling the group that she was a nymphomaniac, which was exciting. Particularly to someone with zero experience, to hear someone claim she’d done ‘almost everything’ was utterly fascinating. However, his head was still swimming and he seemed to have a lack of filter between his brain and his mouth. He couldn’t catch his words fast enough, which was often a problem for him sober, but now it wasn’t just supplying corrections or information, the more cruel thoughts slipped through, too.

“Obviously she’s crazy if she’s screwing her shrink,” he added to the group without even thinking. Y/N was sitting to his right and promptly hit him on the arm with the back of her hand.

“Brian!” She hissed and gave him a glare. ‘Oh shit. Did I say that out loud?’ He thought, looking at her with wide-eyed fear. The realization sobered him up pretty quickly and he was much more in control of his thoughts and words after that. Despite the weed taking away most of his worries, he still cared how she perceived him. From then on, he was more focused on the conversations in front of him and how he added to them, but it was harder to control his emotions when Andrew began telling them about why he was here today.

“You guys know what I did to get in here today? I taped Larry Lester’s buns together.” Andy said, with a hint of a smile. ‘How can he just smirk like that? He has to know it was a shitty thing to do and that he hurt Larry.’ Brian thought. He knew Larry had been attacked this week by one of the sports, but he didn’t know who. Larry didn’t even know the kid’s name, had never talked to him, but still got jumped anyway. An experience that Brian was all too familiar with.

“That was you?” Brian asked, somewhat surprised, but started to get angry.

“You know him?”

“Yeah, I know him.” He said quietly, trying not to let the anger bubble past the surface.

He had to bite his tongue when Andy made Larry into a joke, “Then you know how hairy he is right?” Bender and Claire chuckled at his joke, at him bullying one of Brian’s friends. ‘I guess I shouldn’t have expected anything different,’ Brian thought dejectedly. But he was hoping that they were all better people than...this. The realization that they weren’t better than that, coupled with Andrew expressing his feelings about his father got Brian thinking. “I...hate him. He’s like this mindless machine that I can’t even relate to anymore.” Brian felt so disconnected from his parents, too, even though the rest of the group thought they lived in a fairytale. He was their pride and joy once, but it felt like ever since he started high school, he just wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t a good enough student, he didn’t do his chores right, he wasn’t setting himself up for college correctly, he wasn’t a good role model or brother to his sister...it all just added up and weighed on him immensely. He covered his face with one of his hands to hide his emotion and expression from the group. He didn’t even react when Andrew started screaming what his father had told him, but when everything settled down, he took the chance to speak.

“That’s like me, you know, with my grades. Like, when I step outside myself. A-and I look in on myself...and-and I see me, I don’t like what I see,” it was a difficult thing to admit but after what Allison and Andrew shared, he felt like maybe this could be the space to do so, too.

“What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you like yourself?” Claire asked. He knew it was meant to be nice, encouraging even, but it just made him feel worse. This beautiful, popular, and rich girl asking someone why they weren’t happy with themselves? Like she could have any sort of clue. No wonder it baffled her; she had everything. But he could also see Y/N nodding vigorously, agreeing with Claire. He didn’t want to put her on the same plane as Claire, he felt like she would be above that. But she clearly didn’t understand the way he felt, either. That just made him feel more alone.

“It’s stupid, but,” Brian said, “because I’m failing shop. We had this assignment to make this, uh, ceramic elephant. Anyways we were supposed to-it was, it was a lamp. When you pulled the trunk, the light was supposed to go on. But my light didn’t go on. I got an F on it. I’ve never got an F in my life. When I signed up, y’know, for the course, I thought I was playing it smart. I was, uh, ‘I’ll take Shop, it’s an easy way to maintain my grade point average.’”

“Why’d you think it would be easy?” Bender chimed in, not making eye contact. Brian had been lost in his own thoughts and his story and not looking at the group either, really. He had wanted to be honest, but he was also embarrassed. Honesty would have been hard to maintain if he was looking at them and seeing their judgments in real time.

“Have you seen some of the dopes that take Shop?” Brian asked, not realizing it would strike a nerve.

“I take Shop.” Bender responded, now turning his eyes to him, “You must be a fucking idiot.”

“I’m a fucking idiot because I can’t make a lamp?” Brian snapped defensively. He should have known it would be a mistake to put himself on the line like this, to open himself up to their judgement. He knew Bender was lashing out because he was insulted, but that didn’t make his jibes hurt any less.

“No, you’re a genius because you can’t make a lamp.” Bender shot back, sarcastically.

“What do you know about Trigonometry?” Brian fought back.

“I could care less about Trigonometry.”

“Bender, there’s no engineering without trigonometry.”

“Without lamps, there’d be no light.” Bender replied grumpily, grasping at straws for a fair comparison.

“Okay, so neither one of you is any better than the other one,” Claire jumped in. Before either of them responded, Allison added her own odd addition.

“I can write with my toes!” Both Bender and Brian looked at her incredulously, but she did calm the two of them down and add levity to the moment.

“I can make spaghetti!” Brian said cheerfully after a moment. Y/N smiled at him and his heart fluttered. He returned the smile and for a moment, forgot all about his blunder. Maybe that smile had given him the courage to participate again, to be open and vulnerable. Claire and Bender began fighting again, which wasn’t a surprise, but it opened a door for Brian to ask what had been weighing on his mind since their circle began. He felt like they had all bonded. They had told each other some of their deepest secrets and biggest pains, but did that really make them friends? “I know it’s kind of a weird time, but you know, I was just wondering...what’s going to happen to us on Monday? I mean, I consider you guys my friends,” he continued, looking around the circle, “I’m not wrong, am I?”

“No,” Andy reassured him. So, he wasn’t imagining it, they felt like friends, too.

“So on Monday, what happens?”

“Are we still friends, you mean? If we’re friends now?” Claire asked.

“Yeah.”

“You want the truth?” Claire couldn’t meet his eye, and Brian knew from the question she posed, he really didn’t want the truth. He knew what was coming, but he continued anyway.

“Yeah, I want the truth.”

“I don’t think so.” Claire responded and he somehow still wasn’t prepared for the blow. It still hit him hard, causing a squeezing pain in his chest and he looked away, clenching his jaw to hold the tears back that were welling in his eyes.

“With all of us,” Allison asked, “or just John?”

“With all of you,” Claire confirmed, looking away from the group.

“That’s a real nice attitude, Claire,” Andrew said gruffly.

“Oh, be honest, Andy,” Claire groaned, “If Brian came up to you in the hall on Monday, what would you do? Picture it, you’re with all the sports.” Brian glanced up at his name and looked at Andy hopefully. In his heart, he knew Claire was probably right, but he wanted to believe that Andrew was really his friend, that they all were. “You know exactly what you’d do. You’d say hi to him and then you’d laugh and cut him all up so your friends wouldn’t think you actually like him.”

“No way.” Andy denied, and that gave Brian a glimmer of hope, one he so desperately wanted to believe.

“What if I came up to you?” Allison asked.

“Same exact thing.”

“You are a bitch!” Bender yelled at Claire.

“Why?! Because I’m telling the truth? That makes me a bitch?”

“No. Cuz you know how shitty that is to do to someone and you don’t have the balls to stand up to your friends and tell them you’re gonna like who you wanna like…” Bender continued berating Claire, but Brian now started to fail to hold back the tears that had been threatening so long to fall. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone in the group and tried to quickly wipe the tear away, hoping no one was paying attention to him; that they couldn’t see how they had impacted him. But he still felt eyes on him, particularly when he wiped the next tear away. He let Claire and Bender’s argument surround him. They called each other out, that neither would associate with him or Allison, that their image was too important to protect to reach out. It was a story that Brian had lived all of his life. ‘How could I think that one day would change everything?’ He thought, pitifully.

“So I assume Allison, Y/N, and I are better people than you? Us weirdos?” Brian interjected when Claire and Bender were silently fuming from their spat. “You, would you do that to me?” He asked Allison.

“I don’t have any friends,” she replied, which made Brian smile a little, even though he rolled his eyes some.

“Okay, but if you did?” He let out a light chuckle, urging her to answer.

“No. I don’t think the kind of friends that I’d have would mind,” Allison replied and Brian nodded, then steeled himself to turn to Y/N and ask the same question. He saw her quickly swipe at her face with her sleeves and realized, suddenly, that she had been crying too. He wasn’t sure why; she had been very quiet through this whole exchange, but maybe that was because it hit home hard for her, too. He felt a painful pang in his chest, both from seeing her tears and from fearing the possibility of her answer. He had spent the day hoping that this was a second chance, that he could get to know her. This was a bold move and would tell him if there was even a chance or not; and he feared the ‘not.' She locked eyes with him and he gulped, petrified to dive in but knowing he had to.

“What about you, Y/N?” He asked, quietly. It felt like the question hung in the air for an agonizing eternity, even though she answered right away. Time worked differently when you were waiting to hear if your world was going to be shattered.

“I would be honored to be your friend,” she replied with a shaking voice. Even though it was strained, it filled him with instant relief. He believed her as he had believed Allison and nodded, biting his lip.

“I just want to tell, each of you, that I wouldn’t do that,” he turned to the group,” I wouldn’t and I will not. Because I think it’s real shitty.”

“Your friends wouldn’t mind because they look up to us.” Claire told him and he couldn’t help but laugh derisively in response. Next to him, he heard Y/N give a sort of squeak but figured that it carried the same disbelief towards Claire as his gesture did.

“You’re so conceited, Claire. You’re so conceited. You’re like, so full of yourself. Why are you like that?” Brian noticed the tears falling again and swiped them away. He didn’t want Claire to think she wounded him, that she had the upper hand. While it stung to have all of his beliefs about how the popular kids perceived him and his friends confirmed, that wasn’t what really was bothering him. It was more that it reminded him that he was invisible, he didn’t matter, which was exactly why he was here today.

“I’m not saying that to be conceited. I hate it. I hate having to go along with everything my friends say.”

“Then why do you do it?”

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Claire sighed, and Brian noticed that she was drying her own tears. He didn’t necessarily like having caused them, but it was nice to know she was still human, that she was feeling the way he was, too. “You don’t understand, You’re not friends with the same kind of people Andy and I are friends with, you know? You just don’t understand the kind of pressure that they can put on you.” That, however, lit a fire within Brian. ‘Pressure from other assholes is so important? Try your own parents, Claire.’

“I don’t understand what?” Brian began, gesturing towards himself and planting his fingers into his chest. It relieved some of the dull ache there. “You think I don’t understand pressure, Claire? Well, fuck you! Fuck you!” ‘Also, fuck ‘bravery’ or saving face,’ Brian broke down into sobs in his elbow before calling out from his hiding spot, “do you know why I’m here today? Do you?!” He sat up to look at the group, the people he considered friends, to share his pain with them. “I’m here...because Mr. Ryan found a gun in my locker.” The words turned thick as they left his mouth and took on a life of their own. His eyes darted quickly around the circle, noting Claire’s dropped jaw, Allison’s tearful eyes that couldn’t meet his own, the way Andrew looked away and Bender seemed to know how he had felt, but also how he was surprised that Brian had the balls to do such a thing, and finally...tears silently and consistently slipping down Y/N’s face.

“What’s the gun for?” Andrew asked, interrupting Brian’s thoughts.

“I tried. You pull the fuckin’--trunk and the light’s supposed to go on and it didn’t go on, you know?” ‘You’ve said too much. They all thought you were a weirdo, now they think you’re a psychotic weirdo.’ “Forget it. Just--forget it,” he said in an attempt to brush it off, as if everything could go back to normal with the bombshell he just dropped on them.

“You brought it up, man,” Andrew insisted.

“I can’t have an F. I can’t have it and I know my parents can’t. Even if I aced the rest of the semester, it would only be a B. I’m ruined.”

“Brian…” Claire started, but there was nothing she could say to make this alright. ‘You’re a failure, Brian, and now you’ve become a freakshow. Look at her pity,’ his brain taunted him and he lashed out to hit the stool on his right, not even thinking about it until Y/N jumped up in her seated position, startled. The last thing he would want to do is hurt or scare her. ‘Shit, great. Another fuck up.’

“Sorry,” he mumbled in her direction before setting his head on his knee and continuing with his story from before, “Just considering my options, you know?”

“No, killing yourself is never an option!” Claire yelled at him, which made him scoff.

“Well I didn’t do it, did I? No, I didn’t think so.” ‘She really just doesn’t get it, does she? She still can’t picture why I’d want to--’

“It was a handgun?” Allison asked

“A flare gun. It blew up in my locker.” Brian sighed, but then he heard Andrew start to laugh. “It’s not funny.” Brian asserted. Andrew tried to clear his throat to stop laughing, but he couldn’t and Brian bit his lip and smiled in realization, “Yeah, it is.” The laughter was contagious...and better than crying. “Fucking elephant was destroyed.”

“You know what I did to get in here?” Allison asked the group, and Brian almost feared her answer. “Nothing. I didn’t have anything better to do.” That completely brightened the mood and Brian fell over laughing. It seemed like he was forgiven and that no one here was judging him for the failed lamp or the gun nor would they tell anybody about it. They...they had accepted him in the end after all.

*~~~~*

“...we trust you.” Claire was trying to talk him into writing one essay to cover all of them, and she was using flattery. Lucky for her, it worked. He looked down the row to seek approval from the others and they all nodded. But he liked knowing that they thought he was the smartest and the most capable, that they trusted his words would win over Vernon in a way that they wouldn’t be punished for not doing their own essays. It was a big task and a lot to entrust to him, so he took pride in fulfilling it. Claire took the other girls with her somewhere and it was just Andrew and him sitting silently in the library, so he decided to get to work. Andrew was just lurking about, playing with his jewelry, but he wasn’t a distraction. However, Allison passing by looking completely different was. Brian looked up, shocked that this was the same person he had spent all day with. Her hair was away from her face and he could actually see her brown eyes and she was wearing...white, the opposite of all of the layers of black before. He caught her glare at him staring at her so he tried to give her a reassuring smile, that it was a good look for her. She said, “thank you,” and moved on toward Andrew. Brian turned back to his essay and finished the last couple of lines, not noticing Y/N approaching behind him. If he had, he probably wouldn’t have kissed the essay or given himself a ‘good job’ punch in the arm.

He sat up in startled revelation when she spoke, “That good, huh?” He realized she had just seen everything. He had never felt more like a dork in his life and a blush crept up into his cheeks.

“Uh...yeah, I-I guess. I mean, do you want to read it?” He asked as she started to pull back the chair next to him to sit down.

“If you want me to, but I trust you.” She took her seat and placed her arm gently on his forearm. ‘Holy shit. She is touching me! She’s looking at me. What do I even say? Do I acknowledge the touch or do I just--’ “I’m impressed that you came up with something so quickly though.” Brian felt pride bubble up within him, knowing that she noticed...no, she was impressed by him. He cocked his head and looked at her sideways, trying to figure her out. She quickly looked away and pulled her hand back, now fiddling with her sleeves. ‘Is she...nervous?’ He thought, trying to decode her reaction. “So, um…you said earlier that you were in the Math Club? Um, I mean, if you have the time, do you think you could tutor me? I’m like totally lost in Clarkson’s class.”

He blinked. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it wasn’t exactly that. Not that he would say no to spending more time with her. He had wanted that second chance, after all. “Yeah, no, I could do that,” he told her and watched as she twisted away and looked behind her, grabbing paper off of Allison’s desk. She leaned back forward and reached for his pen in front of him. She was actually close enough now that he could smell her shampoo and his body threatened to turn into jello on the spot.

“Here...is...my...phone number.” She said as she wrote it out on the paper and handed it to him. “Call me so we can set something up?” She looked up at him and knocked the breath right out of his lungs.

“You--You want me to call you?” He asked with raised eyebrows, wholly surprised by the request. He’d not only not kissed a girl, but one had never given him her phone number before.

“Yeah.” She smiled at him and his heartbeat picked up even faster, if that was possible. She cleared her throat and nodded towards Andrew and Allison. “So, those two, huh? Unexpected, right?”

“Oh. Yeah.” He was suddenly hurtled back to Earth, to reality. “Definitely. Wait, where’s Claire?”

“She...she said she was going to go ‘check on’ Bender.”

“Wow. So them, too.” ‘Everyone is coupling up maybe we should--’ he interrupted his own thought and shot it down. All he could say was, “That’s really...weird.”

*~~~~*

After they were finally released and Brian left his essay on the desk for Vernon to collect, and hopefully reflect upon, they all walked out together. It made sense as they all had to go to the main entrance, but there was a feeling of solidarity within it that made Brian think that the members of what he dubbed The Breakfast Club would continue their friendship come Monday.

Allison and Andrew branched off together, as did Claire and John. Brian looked quickly at Y/N as she walked down the steps with him. His dad was there to pick him up, which he was thankful for. His mom would definitely notice him walking with a girl and have a million questions and a lengthy lecture lined up, but his dad would barely notice, much less think anything of it. He reached for the door handle as Y/N was about to depart, but then she called his name, “Hey Brian,” he looked up, not sure what else she could possibly have to say, especially since they had been silent while the couples had veered off. “See you Monday.” She reminded him and gave him a small smile. He gave a grin in return.

“Yeah. I’ll talk to you on Monday.” He replied, beginning to get into the car, her phone number burning a hole in his pocket. For the first time in a long time, he was actually looking forward to another week school.

Tags:

@criminalwipes

#the breakfast club #breakfast club #breakfast club movie redeux #midnight sun'd prologue #you're not the only one stephanie myer #brian johnson x reader #brian x reader #brian johnson #john bender #claire standish #allison reynolds #andrew clark #80s fanfic #reader-insert

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newbeginningsinprocess · 2 years ago

Text

But God…

I want to share a story with you about a little girl. A little girl that was born and raised on the Monterey Peninsula but didn’t really learn to truly live until her later days.

She was a quiet type of girl who spent much time observing her surroundings and just trying to keep in line with what she thought was right.

She felt misunderstood, most of the time, but worse than that was the overwhelming fear of feeling alone. It was a darkness that swallowed her up on most days and yet the alternative which was to engage in the lives of others seemed equally terrifying. She tried her best to keep the people in her life pleased and happy with her, but that was extremely difficult because her life was so unpredictable.

You see my testimony is probably different from yours in many ways, but similar in that all of us have been raised by humans. The humans in our lives may have done the best they knew how to do in fact I guarantee that some of them did the very best they could have done. The tragedy is that so many of the adults in our lives were wounded, and broken and lacked understanding and so they fell so very short in how they should have treated anyone of us.

I grew up in a fairly wealthy area (The Monterey Peninsula) . I was surrounded by people who were educated and knew how to behave in public. My family consisted of my Mom, Dad, me and my younger brother. I will say I never really lacked for anything in the material realm, But, I basically lacked most everything else.

My parents brought the pain and brokenness from their childhood and how they were raised to the table and did a smashing job of taking that hurt and wielding it on me and my brother. We looked wonderful on the outside. Nice home, nice cars, nice clothes, even private high school, but Inside we reeked of dung.

I experienced just about every kind of abuse in my home, verbal, emotional, physical and even sexual. My father started abusing me at a young age and continued through the beginnings of my adolescence. Around that time, He found other distractions, and for that, I am very grateful. My mother at the same time was very physically abusive. It seemed I could never do anything right and so I was always “in trouble” for something. My home was not safe and I would often find small spaces to literally tuck myself into, hoping the storms would pass and I would just be left alone.

I learned quickly to be quiet and keep to myself. There were rare times I just couldn’t keep quiet, I wanted to scream and fight back, yet when I did, it never ended well for me. I began to feel paralyzed and could not fight against anything that would come against me, not even others ideas and thoughts. Looking back I now use the term that I was developing into a “non-person”. I had a difficult time even making simple decisions for myself. I was too busy surviving my home to truly develop the person I was created to be.

Because of that, I moved through my growing up years as a complete victim. I would even find myself in friendships where I would be controlled and manipulated. It was an amazing set up for failure in life…but God!

As I moved through high school I found myself, like a lot of teens, trying to find their way through the muck and mire of life. I dipped my toes into different kinds of addictions distractions and medications. I was desperately trying to find a way to stop feeling. Feeling meant pain, and the pain was so intense that at times it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to be as far away from my pain as possible.

As a younger child I found that I could easily escape into my imagination. But as I grew I learned to find other ways to numb the pain. After high school I was primed for more abuse, but God. Following my high school graduation I was wrangled into going to Christian camp called Young Life. My friend talked me into going with her because someone told her it would be a lot of fun and this would be our last opportunity to go do it together. So, off we went unknowing of the events that we would soon step into. Needless to say we did have a lot of fun and were glad that we made the decision to go. It was a different experience for both of us having grown up in the Catholic Church. The people around us seemed sincere in this love thing that they had for their God. I remember being intrigued but my best friend seemed skeptical and uncertain of what was happening around us.

Being a loyal friend and not having the mind to really think for myself I joined in her stream of thought. The night before we had left for camp it was a rather emotional evening. My best friend began to experience a severe headache that she just couldn't overcome. It persisted so much that before I knew what was happening she was being whisked off in an ambulance due to the pain. I was left feeling lost at that moment. I recall wandering outside that evening…I remember having a funny feeling stirring inside. I didn’t have the language to know what was going on, but One of the counselors that I had interacted with over the course of the week “found me” and sat with me for a bit. She began to ask me some thought provoking questions and seemed to take an interest in me. It felt nice, but foreign at the same time. I don’t remember all the details of the conversation but as the night progressed she began to ask more direct questions about God, sin, salvation, faith and love. I didn’t have any real answers for her but I felt challenged and began to really wonder about things she was presenting. At some point she asked if I wanted to receive Jesus as my Savior. Now she's got me thinking about these huge questions like what is sin and how does a person come to salvation and what happens after a person dies. Again she asks if I want to receive Christ as my savior, and it feels more personal now.

I thought “well, my friend isn’t here now and she will never know if I do.” Also I was intrigued and curious at this point. I decided to follow her lead in making this declaration of salvation in Christ. After we prayed she stayed a bit longer and then left me. I remember lying on my back looking up at the thick black sky above. It seemed that there were more stars in the sky than I had ever seen before. I had this feeling, like a liquid, begin to flow inside. The feeling was warm, comforting and BIG. Not like anything I had ever experienced before.

As I sat by myself for sometime and gazed at the night sky, somehow it looked different to me. I thought “the One who created all the stars was now loving me.” And so began my new found relationship with the Lord.

I would love to be able to say that my life went well from this point on, but life isn’t so neat and tidy. The next year did feel like a new experience for me. New faces, new teachings, new activities. It was really beautiful, for a while. Life was going pretty well. I was working, going to school, and learning about Jesus. I felt different in some ways but the same. This deep feeling of loneliness ensued. Toward the end of my first anniversary as a Christian, I met a guy that was connected to my extended family members. We began dating but the relationship was bad out of the gate. He was often putting me down and demoralizing me. He would even talk about other girls that were smarter than me. It was abusive from the beginning. At this point in my life all I knew to do was apologize for who I was. Though I didn’t like how I felt being around him I never even considered that I deserved any different. The end of the relationship terminated in a violent rape.

As best as I could I tried to move forward but I was left with so many questions. Why would God allow this to happen to me? Why didn’t He stop it? My life began to take a real dive at this point. I tried to push through but at some point it was as if my whole world began to unravel. I moved several times in the next year. Looking back I was running, but the funny thing about running is you take yourself with you. I had made a move to Fresno for a time because I could no longer sustain being in the same school as the man who raped me. From there I had an opportunity to move to France, attend school and work as a nanny. During my time in France I had begun to journal. I recall writing one evening that I didn’t understand why I was still feeling alone, depressed and as if I wanted to die. While living abroad I made the acquaintance of a Christian family. They brought me into their life and even gave me my first bible. I felt loved, accepted, a part, and it felt healing. I promised myself when I got back home I would try to follow the Lord and no longer be a slave to the world. Back home again I found a job, picked back up with school, at the local community college, and tried. I did for a while maintain my life, but about a year into being back I “hit a wall” . I walked into class one day and the feeling inside was that I just wanted to scream… long and loud. I turned around and walked out of the classroom, saying to myself I can longer move forward in this life.

The interesting part here is that for weeks I had been vaguely aware of a constant ad on the radio. The radio was advertising a place called New Life Treatment Center. A place where those that are lost in addiction, depression and suicidal ideation can find help. I went home, called the number and hoped for help. Before I knew what was happening I was on a bus with a backpack in tow headed for the New Life Treatment center 6 hours south in Pasadena.

By the grace of God I was able to be admitted for severe depression and suicidal ideation. They were able to take me for a week. Great, I’ll get all fixed up, head back in a week, resume school and move on with my life. I never moved back to the Monterey Peninsula.

I was picked up at the bus station by a worker at the New Life Treatment Center. I Told him I was glad to have this opportunity, but I was looking forward to getting back to my life after I got this piece of it straightened out. He quietly said that sometimes God’s plans are a little different from ours. I was highly irritated with him from saying that but I kept it to myself.

My week turned into two, by the grace of God because my insurance only covered one week. They fought to keep me there longer and challenged me to not return home but after 2 weeks, they just couldn’t keep me. From there they helped me to find a woman’s shelter for domestic violence since I had already lived that experience and was primed to continue down that road. I moved from Pasadena to Hermosa beach, then to Glendale to another shelter and finally to Big Bear where I entered into the program at DOVES. Here I could rest for a little longer as the program was nine months. I had never even heard of Big Bear and in my ignorance I was wondering if where I was headed actually had indoor plumbing? Looking back I could see the hand of God on me.

Wherever I placed my foot there was a person to extend love, care, acceptance and a heart that was more than willing to help. The Nine months spent at the Doves shelter in Big Bear gave me the time and opportunity to get my feet underneath me a bit . I had to secure a job and a place to live before I was able to graduate from the program. I had begun the long road to recovery. When I speak of recovery I mean that in all parts of my life. I had begun to travel the road of counseling and becoming more self aware, it was painful! I was really blessed to land a job at the local hospital as a nurse's aid and I came across a little studio cabin on a widows property in Bear City. I had no vehicle but I had some money saved to purchase a pretty nice bike and I learned the public transportation system well. It seemed as if I was on my way and on the road to recovery from this brutal place of severe depression. The first few months after leaving the shelter were harsh. It felt good to be on my own but then again, I was on my own and feeling all alone. Especially after living with a house full of women and sharing most everything. Depression set in deep and thoughts of suicide came to haunt me again. I had attempted suicide once at the shelter through overdose, and as I sat in my little studio, I tried again. Paramedics came and took me to the hospital. Honestly I don’t believe that I totally wanted to die, I just wanted the pain to stop.

I moved through this time and decided living alone was not working well for me. Before I left the shelter I had made a connection with another woman my age. She would soon be graduating from the program and we made a plan to get a place together. The next move was in Big Bear Lake right up the street from the hospital and a little closer to town, it was a good move. My roommate and I had already been through alot together. Life in a shelter can be quite interesting. We were both believers trying to find our way. She had gotten involved in a bible study quickly after getting out of the program, knowing she needed the support. She would invite me every week and I would continually tell her no. I wasn’t ready to let the world go at this point. But, one week I finally conceded and went. Here is where my life took another turn. Who was co- leading the study but Rob. I had no interest in anything regarding men at this point. But when the study was over I found myself talking with Rob with such an ease that it actually kinda scared me. I have only heard the Lord speak to me audibly once and surprise, it was this night! It was as if He was standing next to me and said so clearly “this is the man you are going to marry.”

I wasn’t excited. Rob is not the kind of man I would ever pick. He was good. He was nice and He was kind to me. Fast forward roughly a year later and I was eating my own words. We were married February 17th in the former Baptist Church on Big Bear Blvd. I want to share this one piece before moving forward. While I was in shelter in Big Bear I would take a daily walk around the surrounding neighborhoods and I recall one time walking by a home and I could clearly see a family sitting at the table sharing dinner together. I remember thinking “would that scene ever be something for my life?” “Could I ever have a life with a family?” Something in me longed for it, but really didn’t believe it could ever happen for me. But God.

Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future.

This isn’t a story of a girl who got married, had a family and lived happily ever after. I know that life is not that simple. He did pull me out of the muck and mire of a life that I was living. He did place me into a position with my husband and children where I could learn to heal. They gave me a place where I could feel safe, loved and free to grow.

I have to admit, the earlier years of marriage and family life were difficult. There was so much that would come to the surface and I would busy myself with life to ignore pain, and ignore the healing that needed to continue in my life, but God.

We say that He is faithful and I realize at times it can sound cliche, but… He is faithful! But… sometimes it takes looking back to have understanding. He was working all along. Using what I allowed him to have access to…and always waiting, and I believe wanting, to do far more than I allowed Him to do.

2 Peter 3:9 says “The Lord isn’t really slow about his promises, as some people think. No, he is patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” His kindness is revealed in 2 Corinthians 7:16 “For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.” His heart is one of kindness in that He longs for us to find salvation in Him. We come to salvation in a moment. But the rest, learning about His love, growing, overcoming, healing that comes through the process of living our lives with Him.

When I got pregnant with our second son Zachary, I made the choice to put school on hold, put my career on hold to focus on and homeschool our children. About five years ago as my life was moving into another season, I found myself asking the question: what is next? Our two eldest were on the verge of launching out on their own. I had made the decision to be done with homeschooling my youngest, the time had come for me to be done. The question hovered: what was my purpose now?

At the same time as I was wrestling with these big questions and facing new seasons of life… God was stirring my heart. Feelings from the past were beginning to surface once again but in a different way than I had experienced before. They were becoming more difficult to push aside or push down. Looking back I believe it was God’s way of saying “it’s time Shannon to deal with what is affecting you more than you realize”.

Over the years the cry of my heart to the Lord was, “help me to have freedom to be who I am.” As well as “Lord, help me to know that joy that you always speak of in your Word.”

Again looking back I believe that there were many times when He was gently nudging me in that direction but because I would distract myself with life or I was too stuck in my mindset that it would look a certain way.. . I didn't have the ears to hear. Mark 4:22 says “For everything that is hidden will eventually be brought into the open, and every secret will be brought to light. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” The point here is that “all that is hidden will come to the surface.” The question that is posed to us is, “will we do it our own way or will we do it with the Lord?” Scripture goes on to tell us in Mark 4:24 “pay close attention to what you hear, the closer you listen the more understanding you will be given and you will receive even more. To those who listen to my teaching more understanding will be given. But for those who are not listening, even what little understanding they have will be taken away from them.”

So again we have a choice and God is calling us to His understanding. His understanding of what? His truth. His truth about what? Who he is, how he loves us and how we are to love one another. 1John 4:16 “We know how much God loves us and we have put our trust in his love. God is love and all who live in love live in God and God lives in them.”

It seemed so strange that I had been saved all these years and that I really did not know God’s love for me. I mean I knew it in my mind. I would say that He loved me that he loved others…but something about it didn’t quite feel real. It's like I knew of God but I didn’t really know Him for myself, for my own. And so I began a journey. I started with some personal goals and changes. I was overweight at this point in my life and I was tired of feeling like I wanted to hide all the time. I began an eating plan that worked well for me. And exercise became part of my weekly routine. I also decided to go back to school and see where that would lead. I had never completed my AA so I started there.

Let me just say that I was so scared going back to school. All the questions and the fears surfaced…could I do it? Would I be able to learn all that I had to learn? I was scared, I went back scared, but… I went back. I finished my AA and that gave me the confidence to move on to finish my bachelors. I enrolled at Liberty University and 2 years later, I flew to Virginia and walked with my class to receive my bachelors degree. I had finally settled on a new career plan as a counselor. Completing my degree was a challenge, but Even though these parts carried their challenges they did not compare to the deep inner healing work that I faced over the last four years.

One of the things that I have learned is that emotional/mental pain carries the same effects as physical pain. These past four years have been filled with a lot of pain. In order to get healing, I have journeyed back to places I never wanted to visit again.

The thing with inner healing and going with the Lord is that there is really no formula on how it works, or what the process looks like or how long it will take. There was not ONE thing that I went through that brought healing to my life, it was many things. It was taking a hike on “my trail” and hashing it out with the Lord, it was the hundreds of sermons that I had listened to online, there were specific worship songs I listened to over and over, and conversations I had with friends and family. I learned, grew and healed through the education I was gaining through school, I was learning how to forgive myself and others, and allowing myself to have more emotions than I have words for. I couldn’t even give you a specific time when I began to “feel different” All I know to say is that I began to have this feeling of what I would call “freedom” I was Learning that the goal was not to reach a place of being fixed nor a state of perfection. But more of a place of acceptance that “I am a work in process.” I know that most people say progress, but there are times when you don’t feel like you are moving forward, you don’t feel like you are “progressing” but…the whole thing is a process. Sometimes, not gaining any ground, not getting better for a time even feeling like you have slipped backwards all of that, at times, is part of the process.

Above everything, I have begun to experience what it means to be loved by the Lord. The greatest lesson that I am still learning that I’m still trying to digest, is that there is nothing, nothing, NOTHING that I can do or, not do, that could change His love for me. He has given His love freely. 1 John 4:10 says “This is real love-not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” I believe that when we think about the love of God we (without realizing it) try to measure it by our human experiences. But I need to tell you, It has to be an experience we encounter for ourselves, supernaturally, and His love, doesn’t look anything like human love. It is so far beyond how mere humans love. There is more grace, more understanding, His love comes with more power to break through and bring healing. 1 Thessalonians 1:5 says that “For when we brought you the Good News, it was not only with words but also with power, for the Holy Spirit gave you full assurance that what we said was true.” Therefore it is both…His words from the bible along with the power of the Holy Spirit that will bring the revelation that we long for to both our hearts and our minds. Pastor Jeff Tunnell would always say “the longest journey is from the head to the heart.”

It has been a long journey from eighteen year old me to grown adult me. It’s been a long journey to use what I have learned over the years to bring me to a place where I am actually beginning to live it out.

I am becoming who the Lord created me to be. I would be lying if I said it was easy or that I haven’t been scared. It can be scary to be real and just hope that others will accept you as who you truly are. But even if I am not accepted by others. I am, and will always be, accepted forever by my Father in heaven.

So, in many ways, My life has come full circle at this time. I am now working at Doves (the place that gave me my new start in so many ways). My job is Transitional Advocate,which is just a fancy title to say that I help other women with whatever they need to get their feet back on the ground, so they can begin their journey.

I feel like in so many ways I am living a second life. And I have an excitement about it deep down inside. It is allowing me to love others better because I am learning how I am loved. My greatest hope and desire in life, now that I have begun to taste the sweetness of His love for me, is that I want for others to really know it as well. I don't think that we will ever fully understand His love for us while we are on this planet. But I do believe that He wants us to continue to grow in knowing it…It brings healing to our hearts and minds and it helps us to better love one another. I think God is all for that since all scripture hangs on John 13:34 “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”

Let's strive: to know God better, to receive His love for ourselves and to love one another.

You may be here today wondering about the future, you may feel hopeless and alone. You may feel stuck or numb and wondering if there is more to life. I am here as a living testimony of God’s love, faithfulness, care and mercy. Life can be difficult, it is sometimes full of disappointments and even failure. You may think there is nothing more to hope for….BUT GOD!

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