#which was just not acknowledged and went fully ignored by the new management when they came in

[nicknederson]

shoutout to everyone criticizing the ‘new game’ and marketing tactics surrounding it it’s in your rights and best interest to be a critical consumer and even if you get a lot of annoying pushback from people who “just want to be excited about a new game!!” know that i’m on your side besties

[thesilverlady]

Judging by how Ryan love to show his feminist ideals by making female characters go through unspeakable amount of non-canon abuse and violence. And the only way for Rhaenyra's story to be a progressive/feminist tale is by making her get abused by the men around her. I am going to assume it's wouldn't be that far for Ryan to change Rhae's death and makes her gets raped in 4k scene by aegon (who should be disabled but we know Ryan loves to ignore source material) like show Rhaenyra's got zero respect from the writers. Like even her relationship with Daemon which wasn't healthy in the book to begin with , is now not really about her but because Daemon got the hots for Viserys (some leaks implies it for Aemma) he started projecting into her and entered a relationship with her bc it's the closest he can get to Visussy 🤓 f&b was already bad for me personally but Ryan is such a talented mf he managed to come up with much worse

*sorry for the rant I don't really ship daemrya but I really hate watching a female character get non-canon abuse just for the writers to prove a point about a male character *

Edit: My answer became very negative so for the pookies who want to avoid discourse and negativity pls scroll past ♥

it's alright! no need to apologize! 🫶

tbh with you I do enjoy daemyra very much in the book but I fully acknowledge their dynamic has its toxicity (tbf it's super rare to find a wholesome, sweet, "healthy" asoiaf couple and I probably wouldn't even get that hooked compared to how I get with the dark ones)

That being said, the couple lost me already by s1 ep4, so it terms of shipping I've given up waiting anything from them

Now about the writing, hotd has been misogynistic from the start so I'm not exactly waiting for a transformation to happen in s2.

in s1 Alicent’s character was rewritten - in such a way that the new version of her doesn't even experience a moment of happiness or a second of having autonomy or power. She's always someone's punching bag while also her being hypocritical and nasty to Rhaenyra

Laena's way of death was completely unnecessary and brutal, similiar to Aemma's. And the fact they made getting burnt alive being "a dragon rider's death" already gave a hint about how Rhaenyra's death will be seen if it follows canon.

asoiaf established how brutal dragon fire is when Rhaegal bathed Quentyn after he tried to tame Viserion. It's not "honorable" as hotd tries to make it be, it's torturous. And my concern with Rhaenyra's death is that it won't be seen for its brutality.

To continue Baela & Rhaena were barely given any lines, their role as kids was getting dismissed but their dad and as adults they were just standing silently - you'd think they were background characters.

Mysaria's character was brushed off by erasing the child loss she went through due to Viserys - which debatably worked as a trigger for the events she also did in the plot.

Rhaenys was downright written as an idiot who was envious of Rhaenyra and instead of supporting her, she was trying to "humble" her by being an asshole. When she got the opportunity to destroy the greens during the coronation she walked away because.... *check notes" she made eye contact with alicent and the power of motherhood won? her granddaughters being engaged wasn't enough for her to act I guess.

Then there's Helaena, who while she did have an extremely tiny role in the book, it doesn't justify making her extra passive. I've talked about this before but making her having "dragon dreams" is useless and a waste of time and it's also a great excuse to have her be dismissed and ignored.

Helaena in the book was said to be pleasant, motherly, patient and calm. I won't mention the leaks I've read about b&c but if they're true they paint her in a very weird light.

Rhaenyra deserves an entire post of her own. If alicent was the punching bad Rhaenyra is the bing bong boll being tosses from one person to another each second.

So yeah, the issue isn't about shipping or even which teams anyone sides with. The writing is atrocious to all the female characters, and what's the cherry on top is the showrunners constantly patting themselves in the back for being "feminist" and GA falls for it!

I'm so burnt out 😩 This is why I've decided to attempt turn off the media analysis for the show 'cause it's like kicking a dead horse. My goal for this season is to try to vent less and enjoy whatever I can put of context without thinking too hard about it.

[sharpsuite]

Send “NO” to pin my muse against the wall to PROTECT THEM / niragi to chishi ..

↳ REASONS TO PIN MY MUSE

↳ Send “NO” to pin my muse against the wall to PROTECT THEM

It's not OFTEN they end up in the same game, but tonight is one of those rare cases where it happens. Namely made clear by the fact Chishiya holds up his numbered group with a cheshire cat grin just to annoy Niragi. He's at least kind enough to NOT say anything in the car on the ride over. He tunes out the sounds of the other people talking and breaks from the group as soon as possible. Which is standard. He usually slips off on his own as soon as possible and disappears till near the end. UNFORTUNATELY, this game didn't really allow for it. Or rather, it did, but the stupidity of others had sabotaged it. He'd been just fine until some girl went running in his direction down one of the walkways, blindly screaming and sobbing and drawing attention. No moving when spotlights are on you.

. Physical activity was not his forte but the approaching danger is enough to get him bolting out of his spot like an animal driven out by a forest fire. He doesn't expect a hand to suddenly reach out from one of the other paths along the edge and grab him, yanking him in a new direction. If he FLINCHES, it's just from surprise. Certainly not because of the feeling of someone unknown touching him.

He knows better than to make a sound though. Even when his back hits the wall and there's a body keeping him pinned against it, he keeps his mouth shut. What almost breaks his silence is the moment he realizes just WHO is protecting him. There's NO universe in which Chishiya wouldn't recognize that shirt or rifle even before he sees the face. Why? Niragi could so easily use the game as an excuse to get rid of him. No one would likely question it that much. So why had - ? The thought is left UNFINISHED as he hears a sharp scream and the collapse of metal - and the telltale splashing of her and hungry crocodiles below. The suddenly silence is expected ; and he has NO SYMPATHY for her. Well, people always did say the waterway levels in games were the hardest and that's exactly what this felt like. Or so he's heard; he doesn't play video games.

The sound of blood rushing in his ears is deafening. Logically, he knows this will only last for only FIFTEEN seconds. It feels like eternity when he's got cold stone digging into his back and Niragi in front keeping them safe from spotlight and risk of being sent into the water below. He doesn't fight or try to escape Niragi's hold; contrarily, some of the tension before seemed to have left the moment he realized WHO it was. But it's weird to feel the warmth of someone else's touch, much less being fully pinned against a wall. If it weren't for the danger, he's sure it'd scatter his thoughts. Maybe it does because this doesn't make any sense. Chishiya HATES when he doesn't understand, when things don't make sense and his control over a situation feels shaky at best.

The immediate danger fades as the spotlights turn off, leaving only the background lights on again. His head falls forward, forehead briefly resting against Niragi's chest for a few seconds while he catches his breath and tries to make sure his legs won't give out the moment he moves. They feel like they might. He does not choose to think about his allowance of himself to do that or the warmth.

He knows what he should say. That doesn't make it any less difficult because he's CERTAIN it's going to go to Niragi's head. It's easier like this with his face hidden than looking at him though. "...Thanks. " He manages to push out the word, despite the displeasure that comes with acknowledging his momentary reliance on someone else and the loss of control that entails.

Now is no time to be pondering he Whys or details of the situation. He shoves that all away to be unpacked ( or ignored for as long as possible ) for some other time. There's a game and they've got ten minutes left. When his head lifts, its with his usual confident, cunning look and casual delivery of CRUCIAL information. " I've figured out which of the elevators is the one to get out. We just need to get to it. " His eyes flick towards the rifle and then to Niragi. " Do you still have ammo? There's no rule about not shooting the spotlights. " He knows the gun holds 30 bullets, but whose to say Niragi hadn't used a good number of them? Hopefully there's at least enough for this plan. He offers a more TYPICAL look of vague amusement despite the fact he's still pinned. " Who knew there would be a day I was GLAD you and your rifle were around? Makes this much easier. "

/ @crue11

[peonyblossom]

6, 34, and 49 for syd and sadie :)

from this ask list

6. Suppose your MC is dealing with a really tough case and would have to break the News to the patient. How would they deal with it? Will they offer a shred of hope or will they be blatant in the severity of the case?

Sadie: She will be direct, but still attempt to offer hope. Obviously there's only so much she can do, but she will do her best to educate the patient on all of their options and which ones she thinks might be best for them.

Sydney: Again, direct but still try to offer hope if possible. He will definitely convey the severity of the situation so that the patient can fully understand and deal with it.

34. In case your character is in a relationship, what is their approach in managing a work/life balance, all while working 16-18+ hours a day?

Sadie: Sleep when you can, where you can lol. She also makes sure she doesn't bring her work home with her and also makes sure that Ethan does the same. She also takes advantage of days off by spending time doing her hobbies and engaging in self care!

Sydney: He spends as much time with Ethan as possible whenever they both have time off. Also when they're both working lol. Just whenever he can. They tend to go on break at the same time when they're both working and they'll go get lunch/coffee/etc. so they can spend some time together during the day that isn't work related.

49. How was it for them to be "out" in public? Former boss/employee relationships are tough to handle, despite now being colleagues and working side by side. And with Ethan being a public figure himself, it is likely things might go sour. (Bonus: If your character is male/non-binary, how do they, as partners, handle public homophobia, if any?)

Sadie: It wasn't great at first. There were definitely people who thought she slept her way onto the DT no matter how much she told them she didn't. As time went on people became more okay with it, but as a woman there are always going to be people who believe that that's what she did. Mostly Sadie and Ethan just try to ignore what other people say if they can. They know what their relationship really is and that's what's important to them.

Sydney: Definitely not great. In my HC, Ethan isn't the kind of person who really comes out, he just kind of lets people figure it out, so a lot of people didn't know he was bisexual, until he and Sydney went public. They don't try to keep they're relationship low-key or anything (I mean, they remain professional when working, but that's about it), they just do their best to not acknowledge any bullshit people have to say. Again, there were people who thought Sydney slept his way onto the DT. For the most part, they try to ignore any hate, but when they need to they will lean on each other for support to get through some tough times. They've both dealt with homophobia before so they know how best to support each other when they have to deal with it.

[ivi-prism]

Wilbur (mf finished his lore and I went "sure thing sir" *ignores it*)

If you asked Wilbur about his childhood it would seem he is Phil's son and that he went on some adventures with him until his little brother Tommy arrived and Wilbur left home.

In reality Wilbur has never really spoken about where he came from and he starts the story about half way through his teens when Phil adopted him and he came to live in the little world Phil had for himself, often world jumping with him whenever it was possible. This meant Wilbur started world jumping on his own relatively young thanks to all the experience he got with dadza.

Important to note. Young Wilbur got to meet Technoblade who is an old friend of Phil since very early on and always found the guy very cool even if Tech was slightly apprehensive around him at the start but he slowly warmed up to him.

He has a patchwork of abilities learned from all his travels which where very useful when he decided to leave on his own. He decided to study to be an administrator to further his world jumping adventures, and while doing that he settled in a standard homeworld to try his hand out at living on his own. Man set up by the coast to see if he was about that sea life, his patchwork of abilities did make him a decent fisher, but he also made money playing on the venues near the sea. Who may he meet here but a sailor fox hybrid named Sally.

look at me ignoring canon i acknowledge mr soot being a fishfucker but that would ruin the consistency so sorry i will just have to take the fish fucker attribute away from you mr.soot a great crime i know

Cue to Wilbur befrinding and eventually daiting Sally, at the same time as he continued his studies and also went often to visit Phil on his little world. As Wilbur's studies advanced he decided he would really want to have a world of his own like Phil, but one much bigger. Not work for a homeworld as an administrator for their gov but carve his own group in an SMP.

This would take a couple of years, but he finished quicker than anticipated thanks to in field experience acquired from being a very determined and very stubborn guy that annoyed his way into being friends with Connor and Jschlatt who decided having an admin in training as a friend in smplive would be beneficial.

It went well....kinda...he did learn a lot and that gave him extra credit to finish his studies soon, he also got in ton of troubles in the smp for crimes but like... is fineee.... he had to take some breaks anyways to stay on his home planet with Sally after Fundy's birth and also to fully finalize his studies. Which he did gladly and took the break as opportunity to let things cool down. Unfortunately for him not long after he returned from his break the SMP concluded and no one seemed interested in following up with another one. So for the moment he focused on doing freelance work and his family.

That was probably the least hectic time of Wilbur's life, enjoying life by the sea, with Sally and Fundy and going to visit Phil from time to time, until one day he arrived to pay visit to his dad and there he was, little Tommy.

All the info he got from Phil was “I found him on my travels” and since Wilbur had also been found on Phil’s travels Wilbur just shrugged and went along with him. New little bro figure! :D

Life was going great. Wilbur was freelancing as an administrator (from this era is where the mc but videos with schlatt comes from) he was happy with Sally and Fundy and Dadza and Toms and Techno and is all perfect.

And then tragedy struck. Sally, was lost at sea. Leaving Wilbur and Fundy on their own. It was devastating for both of them, and Wilbur decided to move away from the sea in hopes he could cope better.

It didn’t help so he tried and focus more on his work (the mc challenges videos) and slowly he revived his dream of doing his own smp.

Took some more years until he managed to fully return to his project of creating an smp.

But smp earth was an ambitious project for an smp and Wil was sure it would work. He allowed Phil and Techno in, as well as Tommy and his new friend Tubbo. Surely that would go well.

It did not. Lot of people left and for how big the infrastructure of the smp was, it wasn’t justified keeping it as it was without people frequenting it. There was talk to continue it and Wilbur agreed but he didn’t feel like staying in.

Man was gonna look what to do now. Fundy by now was starting his studies to become an admin himself and he was out of projects. Were to move, what to do now?

Tommy would appear with an answer. He’d decided to go to the DSMP alongside Tubbo and told him about it. Wilbur decided this world could be one he could carve out his project.

And what a project it would turn out to be

Link back to dsmpers backstories

[lovexsulli]

—— now look who’s joining the infinite tour! only MAE ‘SULLI’ ILSU, who is the MANAGER OF SOLOIST 2. i’ve heard whispers that the 28 year old is pretty ALTRUISTIC but lowkey APPREHENSIVE. also, she remind you of LEE HI?

hola, hola. so, here is ilsu again! ♥ i was lacking some muse for her since i had a lack of plots with her and just- didn’t set her up for success development wise. but, i took a little bit this morning to find some energy in her backstory with some meaningful plots in mind for her! some things did change, but mostly things were tweaked and added to give her some more depth.

BEFORE IDOL YEARS

ilsu comes from money. her household cherished the idea of maintaining public appearance, as well as always putting your best foot forward. often times though, they took the idea to extremes resulting in having strict values in general. her parents work for the government, (her mother a former judge, and her father a head of a police academy) so it really isn’t surprising that they raised their children with the authoritarian type of parenting. (ilsu is the youngest out of three, she has two older brothers)

ilsu was definitely the younger sibling that really had the obligation of being more obedient? at least- in her own perspective. so, traditionally, she grew up kind of being dictated and just non-opinionated. (lowkey, her parents weren’t bad? they just.. didn’t like the sensation of not having control.) this ultimately led to her mother going over board when she actually expressed interest in something. which was, being known or acknowledged for her creativity. acting was what was decided.

so at seven, she began her training to be a child actor & because of her mothers connections, was able to debut on TV series and movies around eight. (usually just cameos of being a neighbors child in the background.) it wasn’t until her bread and butter became known for being the hero characters child flashback or child in hit dramas did her career truly start to pick up. (probably at the expense of her mother still, who knows.)

for seven years she barely managed to maintain film life, and schooling. her growth in the acting world declined due to her mother dictating what roles and projects ilsu could take. because her older brothers were doing such good things that lifted the mae household, she wanted to keep ilsu’s image pure & sweet no matter if that’s not what sulli wanted.

around the age of fifteen, she kind of shifted gears since she began to find solstice in music. so, her mother reluctantly let her transition into music- but under the condition that if she flopped, her mother got to choose her next occupation. (which would probably be being a judge, or lowkey- just the idea of marrying into a close family with high status)

in spite of her parents not completely convinced, she debuted at around the age of eighteen as a soloist. her name was stage name was officially, DULCET. it brings a huge influx of attention and clout, and her schedule kicks into hyperdrive. (even acting started to pick up since it went hand in hand in promoting)

CAREER BACKGROUND

ilsu around the age nineteen was probably on her way to being a household name with her history on tv, and new music. but, with a big title- comes great responsivity and stress. her mother often emphasized that to stay relevant, ilsu had to work hard and make sure her performances were perfect. (around this time, she starts to get really overwhelmed with herself but also- all of the critics talking in her ear.)

this led ilsu to be a workaholic in very unhealthy ways. her paranoia induced by her parents probably had a bigger hold on her than her rationality at this time in her life. so, ilsu definitely over worked her body, and continuously ignored her limits for the sake of feeling like she wasn’t meeting everyone’s expectations. this ultimately led to a lot of medical issues that eventually couldn’t be fully reversed. (she suffered a lot of knee and joint issues, as well as developing asthma due to serious panic attacks & respiratory issues)

her last time she was active in the industry was her last performance four years ago. ilsu had an episode on stage that resulted in her health being in question. ilsu stepped up deciding to retire as an idol to recover her health, and herself in general. she took a full year to herself before thinking about being a manager.

became an assistant manager at the age twenty three. she managed the former group her current idol started with. (kaiso!) and eventually followed him as he started a solo career as his main manager. so, she’s been managing for three years!

PERSONALITY & FACTS

even though she didn’t grow up in a family with constant love and affection, ilsu has so much love to give. like, she will take that extra mile to show her love- and there is nothing you can do about it. NOTHING.

ilsu is definitely one of those ladies that felt like she was 30 at 18. but, also at the same time- can be as childish as a child when she’s comfortable. she gives off very wholesome noona vibes, even though she’s probably shorter than most of the people she nags & she is overprotective of.

used to call the psych boys her lil’ chickens, and is diligently still looking for an embarrassing nickname for kai.

is the type pf person who would purposely cook too much on purpose so then she actually has a reason to feed people. has candies in her purse always. will sacrifice her fav flavor to you.

is super organized. she makes it her business to have everything planned and journaled out on her ipad.

probably gives some of the best hugs???

has a bit of paranoia? singing and dancing in front of others is terrifying. like, completely. music is always with her, but she won’t ever do it with an audience ever again.

actually has some health issues still. asthma & she gets muscle strains and joint pain when she is active for too long. (usually doesn’t effect her work /everyday life) sometimes concerning headaches.

is left handed, with very neat handwriting.

[hxseok-honee]

3005 || part 11

3005 [part 11] || "Perks of dating a Slytherin"

[no matter what you say and what you do // when i’m alone, i’d rather be with you]

previous || masterlist || next

a/n : mayhaps i,,, went a little crazy,,, writing this,,,

taglist [open] :

@deepseavibez @lele-bb @monamone @unadulteratedlyunique @bluefaeriefury @hooniepie @loveyoongles @lilacdreams-00 @ramyagovindraj @skyrro @diminieshoe @calling-dips-on-j-hope @yuusilverscar @butterflylion @dingzerenistall @miki-chi @army-moa75 @drpepperobsessed @cecedrake2217 @somelazysundays @xxxanimangxxx @cosmicdaylight @navybluewonderland @itismochirice @dreadity @secretlycrazyhummingbird @taeshuworld @lochness-butmakeitsexy @beeeb05 @preciouschimine @thetrueghostqueen @sonderkook @pb-n-juju @aviwasabi21

a/n : there were some blogs that tumblr wouldnt let me tag -- sorry about that!

_________________________________

“Jeez, it’s insane in here -- we’re packed like sardines!” Y/n trails into the Three Broomsticks after Jimin and Tae, barely managing to catch the Ravenclaw’s complaint over the noise of the crowd. She’s barely made it in the door of the pub, but she can already see that she might be stuck there a while. It’s full to capacity, a sea of colored scarves and matching hats -- early November has brought nothing but cloudy mornings and chilly nights, the lower levels of Hogwarts particularly affected by the evening drafts. She’s lucky that Hufflepuff is kept at a consistent level of cozy warmth, but she can tell Slytherins must deal with constant cold by the way that Hoseok and Yoongi, who hover in the doorway behind her, have only draped their deep green scarves over thin long-sleeve shirts.

From the front, Jimin complains, trying to no avail to push through the mass of students and find a free table or even call dibs on one that’s busy. And even from behind Tae, Y/n can see the Gryffindor is pouting, which is entirely endearing, but she doesn’t get the chance to point it out to him -- there’s a hand on her waist, gently guiding her to the side. Another hand wraps around her wrist, this one shockingly warm against her cold skin, and she turns to see Yoongi pulling her in silently toward him while Hoseok brushes past her on the other side. The smaller Slytherin pulls her in close enough that she has to cross her eyes to properly see him, but he’s not even looking at her. He’s gazing expectantly in Hoseok’s direction.

Following his eyes, she sees that something of a miracle is occurring -- the mass is parting for Hoseok, students bumping into each other as they rush to get out of his way. He says nothing, simply making his way through the crowd and beckoning them in after him. Tae stumbles after Jimin, and Y/n only follows when Yoongi quietly moves his hand to the small of her back and nudges her in their direction. Before she can get too far from him, she feels his lips press against the shell of her ear as he whispers to her.

“Perks of dating a Slytherin -- nice, huh?” Y/n’s heart jumps to her throat, and she lurches forward slightly, putting distance between them. She still hears as he snickers behind her, but she ignores it and follows after Tae.

As she goes, she sees that, ahead of her, Hoseok has reached a round booth, just big enough to fit the five of them. There’s a couple of Ravenclaws that get there at the same time he does, and when he turns to look at them, Y/n can see exactly why the crowd had parted for him. He’s got a look in his eye -- nothing compared to the look he’d given Remus in the forest all those weeks ago -- but it’s almost as if he knows he doesn’t need it. His face is blank and his eyes are empty, something entirely terrifying to someone unfamiliar with Hoseok. He looks like a true Slytherin, one that commands obedience with his mere presence.

One of the Ravenclaws takes one look at Hoseok and is immediately stepping back, pulling his companion along with him. Hoseok only nods gratefully to them, clearly showing that he hadn’t meant to be intimidating -- it’s just who he is. Then he turns and waves them forward, Jimin rushing in a bit fast and shooting his housemates an apologetic smile. He slips into the booth, Tae following close behind. They file in like that, Hoseok sliding in after Yoongi and letting his hand fall comfortably to his boyfriend’s thigh once he’s settled. Y/n sees the movement and notes in the back of her mind with surprise that Hoseok’s hand is much bigger than expected -- it covers almost all of Yoongi’s thigh.

“See something you like, Princess?” Hoseok leans in to whisper it, but, judging by the looks of disgust that cross Jimin and Tae’s faces, he hadn’t been quiet enough.

“And on that note, I’m gonna order us some food!” Jimin scoots out of the booth, making a beeline for the bar as Taehyung reaches dramatically after his best friend. He turns back, resigning himself to the strange dynamic of the trio before him. But Y/n only scoots in to cling to his arm, smiling up at him, and the Gryffindor relaxes.

“So, is there anywhere you guys need to go after lunch? Jimin and I want to stop at Honeydukes!” Hoseok nods along to Taehyung’s request, humming in consideration.

“I could really go for some jelly slugs…” Y/n and Tae stare at him in disbelief, unsure if he’s just messing with them. The idea that Jung Hoseok -- the guy that had just moved an entire crowd for them with no more than a look -- could enjoy something so… sugary… is beyond them. But apparently, it’s a topic of regular conversation in the 7th year Slytherin boys’ dorm.

“I told you, that shit’s bad for your teeth--”

“Says the one who sits in class chewing on sugar quills instead of using a real quill to take notes.” Hoseok cuts Yoongi off with finality, challenging him to continue, but the shorter boy only grimaces and mumbles under his breath about Jimin taking too long. Y/n and Taehyung look to each other for answers, only finding more confusion.

When Jimin does finally return -- somehow managing to balance 5 plates of food in his arms -- the group settles in to eat, chatting about various things until they finish their food. It’s nice, Y/n decides, to hang out with friends she doesn’t always find herself with. Although she’d become rather close with Jimin and Taehyung recently, she’d spent every Hogsmeade weekend with Jin and Namjoon until now, so this is all still relatively new to her.

It’s especially new to hang out so closely with Yoongi and Hoseok -- she admits that she’d definitely gotten comfortable with them since the day that Yoongi had claimed her bed as his own while she’d had a strangely deep heart to heart with Hoseok, but she still feels slightly tense around them. Their constant flirting has been more than disarming, but it flusters her most when they’re right in front of her. At least when they’re texting, she can hide in the comfort of her room, but here… she has nowhere to run if they decide to start teasing her.

As if to drag her out of her thoughts by proving her right, the warmth of a palm sliding across the expanse of her thigh startles her back to reality. She glances down quickly, taking in the fact that there is actually a hand on her leg, before following the arm up to its owner. Hoseok only eyes her with confusion, having reached across Yoongi to get her attention.

Turning quickly to Taehyung, she looks up at him with confused panic, as if to confirm that she’s not hallucinating. The Gryffindor’s already staring down at her leg, having seen the movement out of the corner of his eye. He meets her gaze with wide eyes before turning away, as if to tell her it’s none of his business what she gets up to with Hoseok in the middle of this pub. When she tries to lean in further for his attention, Tae only turns his whole body away from her, sipping at his drink and denying her silent plea for assistance with feigned ignorance.

He catches Jimin’s eye in doing so, and the Ravenclaw glances over quickly, his gaze catching on Hoseok’s ringed fingers resting on the inside seam of Y/n’s jeans. Immediately, Jimin’s choking on his food, turning away with reddening ears as he puts his napkin up to his mouth. Hoseok looks around, eyes wide with confusion at the reactions he’s getting. Yoongi only closes his eyes and nods, fully having expected this chain of commotion in the booth.

Y/n looks down at the hand in her lap once more, hating that the only thing coming to mind is that now she can definitely confirm that Hoseok’s hand is as large as she’d noted previously. She stares down at it, scandalized, only coming back to reality when Hoseok squeezes her thigh, drawing her attention back to him. He’s smiling, but it’s filled with bemusement.

“Princess, I’ve been talking to you for like five minutes -- where was your head?”

It was thinking about yo--

Y/n blinks, shaking her head both to answer Hoseok and to rid herself of the intrusive thought she’d just had. She looks to Yoongi quickly, terrified that he might somehow be sitting close enough to have heard the unexpected words that had crossed her mind. He’s examining her carefully out of the corner of his eye, but his face is void of emotion except for the hint of amusement in his gaze. When she makes eye contact with him, he leans in, holding her gaze and whispering to her in a low voice.

“He’s only trying to give you your potion for today -- are your thoughts wandering somewhere they shouldn’t be, babe?” Y/n leans away the closer Yoongi gets, deciding they’re both much too close for comfort. Pulling her leg gently from Hoseok’s grasp, she scoots in the booth until she’s flush with Taehyung, who continues to sip at his drink with vigor, as if he hadn’t just heard the entire exchange. She’s about to force the Gryffindor to acknowledge her existence and help her, but there’s another hand falling to her lap, this one different but warm all the same.

It’s Yoongi’s, and while he has his palm turned up toward her -- a vial filled with familiar contents sitting innocently there -- the contact is enough to have Taehyung elbowing Jimin urgently, decidedly finished with his lunch. The Ravenclaw scoots toward the edge of the booth, taking one last gulp of his butterbeer before gesturing vaguely at his coat pocket, where his phone sits untouched.

“Text from Namjoon -- bookstore -- gotta meet hi-- bye!” Wrapping his hand around Taehyung’s wrist, he pulls the boy with him out of the booth, and with that, the two of them disappear into the crowd and out the door. Y/n stares after them, panic seeping into every fiber of her being as she turns slowly to face the two Slytherins she’s been left alone with. Hoseok’s also staring at the spot their friends had disappeared into, but Yoongi only presses his hand further into Y/n’s lap, urging her to take the vial.

“Full moon’s tomorrow -- drink up, babe.”

--

“No, that has to be a fucking joke -- you’re lying to me--”

“I’m not lying! I hiked my ass up that fucking tree and sat there throwing sticks at this girl so she would stop hurting herself until 5 o’clock in the morning!” Y/n groans and hides behind her hands, laughing out of sheer humiliation while Hoseok retells the story of the night they’d met -- the night she’d almost killed him. Yoongi leans his head back against the booth and breathes out a laugh, unable to believe what he’s just heard. He turns to Y/n, reaching out and tugging on her wrists until her eyes appear from behind her hands.

“Thank you very much for not ripping my boyfriend to shreds before I could confess. I would have been pissed.” She pulls her wrist from Yoongi’s grasp, pushing at his shoulder with another groan. She notices out of the corner of her eye that Hoseok’s gesturing silently toward the bar, holding up three fingers before pointing at their table -- their third set of refills in the last two hours. The glint of the metal bands on his fingers catches her attention, and she swallows hard as she returns her gaze to Yoongi’s face. The look he’s giving her tells her he’s caught her staring, but he only smiles when she clears her throat and attempts to move on.

“I just think it’s ridiculous that -- for someone who claims to be obsessed with magizoology and all things magical creatures -- Hoseok didn’t think ahead before wandering out to the Forbidden Forest on a full moon night.” Hoseok cracks a smile, rolling his eyes good-naturedly at her jab before focusing in on the waiter that’s sliding three fresh butterbeers onto their table. He slips the man a tip with a quick thanks, man, before pushing two of the drinks over to Y/n and Yoongi. There’s something so effortlessly smooth about the way Hoseok had handled the entire interaction -- as mundane and simple as it’d been -- that sets Y/n’s nerves on fire, and she accepts the drink shyly. Her mind flashes back to the one time she’d been here with her brother and his friends, the way Remus had stumbled over his words and almost spilled his drink on the table. It isn’t as cute to her now as it was back then--

Wait, what the hell?

“Princess?” She looks up from her drink and finds both Hoseok and Yoongi staring at her, heads tilted in matching confusion. Hoseok’s eyes flick down to her drink, and he gestures toward the bar with his thumb. “You’ve been drinking them cold this whole time, but I can get you something else if you don’t want it--”

“No! No… Thank you. This is good.” Hoseok stops short at her outburst, Yoongi’s eyebrows lifting past his fringe in surprise. Y/n only looks between them for a moment before lifting the drink to her lips awkwardly. When she sets it down again, she doesn’t notice the line of foam stretching across her top lip. The boys focus in on it, Yoongi taking his bottom lip between his teeth as he decidedly leans toward her after a moment. Resting two fingers under her chin, he swipes his thumb slowly over her mouth, sitting back and sticking that same thumb in his mouth to clean the sugar off his skin when he’s done. Hoseok watches the exchange with unwavering intensity, following the path of Yoongi’s hand all the way to the smaller boy’s mouth. Y/n doesn’t realize she’s done the same.

Seeing that he’s being stared at, Yoongi smiles awkwardly, leaning his elbows on the table as the tips of his ears turn pink. Looking to his boyfriend, he opens his mouth.

“So… it’s your fault you almost died?” Hoseok blinks, the moment gone. Y/n takes another sip of her drink, giving herself time to hide behind the large mug that covers much of her reddening face when she tilts it back. She swipes self-consciously at her mouth with her sleeve when she’s done, hoping they wouldn’t have to repeat the intimate display from before. She thinks that, if not for the fact that she’s found herself sensitized to the sound of Hoseok’s voice, she would have missed his response.

“Alright, I feel like I have to defend myself here -- I mean, I was 13 and way too excited about finding that pack of sentient wolves I’d read about. You really can’t blame me for not expecting there to be students of Y/n’s… special nature.” Hoseok glances around the pub inconspicuously, and Y/n finds herself covered in goosebumps when he lowers his voice at the end.

What the hell is happening to me?

Y/n blinks quickly, willing her frazzled state to just disappear, and focuses on what he’d said previously instead. She meets his eyes, sighing slightly when she sees that he’s already peering at her, thoroughly entertained by whatever it is that he’s finding on her face.

“So--” Hoseok straightens, discarding whatever he’d been thinking about to pay attention. “--are you just a total magizoology nerd then? Is that what you wanna do after graduation?” As if he hadn’t been expecting her genuine interest in his life, Hoseok bows his head slightly at her question, visibly shy. Beside him, Yoongi smiles fondly, and Y/n’s reminded of that day in the forest, when their roles had been switched.

“Oh… Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m interested in…” Hoseok trails off, but Y/n watches Yoongi nudge him almost teasingly, urging him to continue what he hadn’t wanted to say before. “I-uh-- I’ve been looking at internships at St. Mungo’s, but I really don’t think I’m gonna get--”

“He’s going to get in. They’d be crazy not to take him.” Yoongi interrupts him, practically beaming with pride. “How could they not? He’s got real passion for it, it’s obvious. I’m kinda jealous -- I wish I could do something cool like that.” Hoseok takes a sip of his drink, clearly doing what Y/n had done earlier to hide from them, but she lets it slide with a teasing glance when he meets her eyes over the rim of the glass. Turning to Yoongi, she hums, noting that he doesn’t seem fazed at all with admitting something about his future.

“You can’t do something cool like that?” She doesn’t mean to pry, but even after she realizes that the question could be sensitive, Yoongi only breathes out a laugh, shaking his head. She’s relieved he hadn’t taken any kind of offense.

“Nah -- my parents are what you’d call… elitist freaks. They’ve got a serious hard-on for that psychopath running around with his cult, so… I’m honestly lucky if I make it out of this war with all my morals intact.” She is deeply unprepared for Yoongi’s response, the sudden heartbreak she’s experiencing only worsened by the fact that he says it with a straight face, as if he’d long resigned himself to the truth of his words. When he sees the look on her face, Yoongi’s expression softens, and he tilts his head to look at her, his eyes twinkling with endearment.

“Don’t pout at me like that, babe -- you're making me want to kiss it better.” If Y/n hadn’t been expecting that comment, Hoseok really hadn’t been expecting it. He chokes on his butterbeer immediately, waving at Y/n frantically when she tries to help. Slamming his drink down on the table, Hoseok grabs Yoongi, pulling the smaller boy to him, hiding his face in his boyfriend’s shoulder while he finishes his coughing fit. Yoongi only pats his back, making a face of playful disgust at being used as a napkin.

“Well, now that Hoseok’s thoroughly embarrassed himself and his Slytherin reputation in front of, like, a million people, I think it’s time we go get him his jelly slugs.” Yoongi nudges his boyfriend out of the booth, gesturing with a nod of his head for Y/n to follow as he sets some money on the table and slides out of the booth.

In contrast to the way Hoseok had entered the Three Broomsticks, he leaves with his head bowed, ears red as he slouches his way to the door. Yoongi chuckles from behind Y/n, shaking his head as he guides her through the crowd with his hand on her waist.

“Look at him go -- my tall, embarrassed boyfriend. How cute. Gotta get him his jelly slugs.” He says all this like he’s talking to himself -- not quite in full sentences, each word full of a kind of exasperated adoration that Y/n finds impossibly cute. Yoongi’s shaking his head like he’s disappointed by Hoseok’s rare awkwardness, but he’s smiling like he’s in love. Y/n feels both giddy by the display of affection and strange that she’s granted this kind of access to their relationship. She feels torn, quite frankly. Like she shouldn’t be allowed to see this side of them.

By the time they finally reach Honeydukes, Hoseok has regained his confidence, going so far as to walk backwards while he talks to them. It’s ridiculous, really, the way he changes before her eyes -- the slouching boy from before transforms into the arrogant Hoseok she knows well, the one who practically hangs off of her now, looking for any excuse to touch her. One hand pulls at her scarf, adjusting it, while the other grabs for her fingertips, asking with a smirk if she’d like him to warm her up before linking their fingers together playfully. Yoongi only follows along, smiling and feigning innocence when Y/n turns to him for help.

They’re so busy causing chaos amongst themselves that they don’t notice another group headed straight for the doors of Honeydukes -- when Y/n does finally see them, she’s startled simply because, in any other case on any other day, she would have noticed them from a mile away.

“Y/n, hi!” Remus smiles wide at her, waving excitedly when he catches her attention. Y/n stops short, shocked by his sudden appearance which, really, is not all that sudden. “I texted you to see if you wanted to meet up today, but I guess luck’s on our side, huh?” Making a noise of surprise, she reaches for her coat pocket, where her phone remains unchecked. She hadn’t even felt the vibrations of a notification, too distracted by Hoseok and Yoongi.

As she’s checking her phone -- and seeing that she does, in fact, have an unseen message from Remus -- she misses the way James’ gaze hones in on where her hand is still attached to Hoseok’s, but she certainly feels when Hoseok rips his hand from hers and stuffs it into the pocket of his jeans. Looking up in confusion, she finds that he’s not looking at her, only staring with determination at the display in the Honeydukes window. He looks conflicted, almost guilty, and when she turns to the Marauders, the expression of scandalized surprise on James and Sirius’ faces tells her why. If Remus had seen them holding hands, his face betrays nothing.

“I’m gonna just… go get my jelly slugs. I’ll see you inside.” Hoseok brushes past her, leaving her there with Remus as he heads into the sweets shop. Yoongi looks after his boyfriend, and Y/n sees him start to follow but stop in his tracks, choosing in the end to remain beside her. The decision throws her, but she’s learned that Yoongi doesn’t do anything without thinking it through first, so she lets it go. Turning to the boys, she smiles sweetly, addressing them with surprising ease, considering she’s in the company of her childhood crush.

“Did you guys just get here? I didn’t see you at the Three Broomsticks at all.” James shakes his head, pushing away the memory of her display of physical affection with Hoseok as he responds. Sirius, however, continues to squint suspiciously, looking between her and Yoongi as he hovers near Remus.

“Nah, we were just at Zonko’s for like two hours -- gotta stock up, you know.” He shakes a large plastic bag filled with tricks and pranks for effect, and Y/n steps forward to peer inside.

“Woah… I can only imagine how many detentions this’ll get you.” The boys all laugh at how well she knows them, but Sirius leans in with a conspiratorial grin.

“Say, Y/n -- I feel like we haven’t seen you in forever! Why’s that, hm?” Y/n meets his eyes, lost.

“What do you mean? We talk all the time--”

“Well, yeah, but with your brother glued to Jin now, our crew’s been feeling so… empty these days. The Telepathy Twins have abandoned us!” He drapes himself over Remus’ back and cries out dramatically as he finishes complaining, something that has Y/n rolling her eyes with a smile.

“I’ve been here, Sirius -- we can hang out whenever you want!” Sirius perks up, leaning in toward her face with a sly grin.

“How ‘bout now?” Y/n lifts a single eyebrow, leaning away from him with a look of disbelief.

“Now? But…” She’s about to say that she’s busy and can’t leave with them, even if Remus is right there offering to hang out. But her hesitation sets Yoongi on edge, and he steps in quickly, wrapping his fingers around her wrist and tugging her back toward him. When she’s close enough, he takes his arm and throws it around her waist, moving behind her as he pulls her flush against his chest. She’s suddenly trapped against him, something made more clear in the way Yoongi leans his chin on her shoulder. She can almost feel the smirk spread across his lips as he speaks, his voice vibrating against the shell of her ear.

“Sorry boys, but Y/n’s really hard to get a hold of these days. Hoseok and I barely managed to reserve time with her today -- what kind of person would I be if I just let you steal her away from us?” Y/n’s not sure what to do with the show Yoongi’s putting on, and she knows by the way his arm is firm against her waist that he’s not letting her go anytime soon.

She watches lamely as Sirius hums contemplatively, having expected some sort of reaction from Yoongi but not quite this. Remus’ eyebrows lift in surprise as his gaze drops to the arm wrapped around her, but he doesn’t say anything. James is the first to respond, shaken from his shock at Yoongi’s bold move by the realization that this looks not unlike a literal standoff right in front of a crowded shop.

“Well, we’ll just have to schedule our own time later on, then, won’t w-- oh!” He reacts when the doorbell above the Honeydukes door rings out, revealing Hoseok as he exits, holding a bag of jelly slugs and sugar quills for Yoongi. There are a couple chocolate bars in his hand, something he knows helps Y/n after the full moon. He’s so busy sifting through his bag that it takes him a second to see the scene he’s just walked into.

When he does look up, he’s stopping short, eyes trained evenly on the compromising position his boyfriend’s in. Whatever thoughts are crossing his mind in that moment are unseen on his face, his eyes unblinking as they pass over Yoongi’s arm, Yoongi’s chin, Yoongi’s lips pressed against Y/n’s ear as she’s pressed against his chest. They all stand there for a moment, frozen, waiting for Hoseok to react.

And then he’s blinking, looking away as he moves toward Remus and holds out one of the chocolate bars in his hand. Remus takes it, uncertain of what’s happening in Hoseok’s head right now. The Slytherin explains with one line and a polite smile.

“You look tired.” He’s not wrong -- Remus’ eyes show his exhaustion, his face and shoulders more slouched than usual as his body fights against the force of the moon, almost full. He looks how Y/n feels inside, but the adrenaline from the day spent with Hoseok and Yoongi -- apparently not yet over -- had kept her from feeling the full effects of the near future. Now that Hoseok’s mentioning it, Y/n feels herself start to become drained of energy, something that she knows Yoongi notices when she shifts in his arms and he tightens his hold on her.

Remus takes the chocolate with a tired smile, thanking Hoseok under his breath. And then he’s leaning around the Slytherin to wave kindly -- albeit a bit awkwardly -- at Y/n and Yoongi, still entangled in each other’s limbs.

“Good luck tomorrow, Y/n -- let me know if you need me, okay?” It’s innocent, it truly is. And Y/n’s grateful for it, the way Remus has always looked out for her. But the way Hoseok glances over his shoulder at her, his eyes appearing almost resigned, leaves her unsettled. And when the tips of Yoongi’s fingers dig into her side, betraying his annoyance with the comment, Y/n can’t help the fluttering feeling that rushes into the pit of her stomach. A feeling strictly reserved for Remus -- until now.

She waves awkwardly as they go, painfully aware of the sudden wave of crisp air hitting her back when Yoongi finally steps away from her. He holds his hand out for Hoseok’s bag, offering to carry it. Hoseok hands him the sweets, passing Y/n her chocolate bar without a word. The three of them are quiet as they exchange items, none of them quite certain how to proceed from what had just happened. Y/n feels guilty, like she’s the reason Hoseok and Yoongi are silent with each other.

Then, Hoseok’s turning to her, decidedly ignoring the entire situation with an easy grin. But there, in his eyes, is a glint of mischief, something teasing and light but intense enough to tell her that he won’t be forgetting about this moment for a long time, and that ignites something in her that she’s never felt before -- not even with Remus. It sends her heartbeat straight to her ears, muffling everything around her as her stomach drops in a way that she can’t bring herself to describe negatively. She barely registers Hoseok’s hand on her elbow, calling for her attention as he directs a bright smile at her.

“Ready to go, Princess?”

[sanris3]

A fine line

Pairing: reader x san Genre: friends to lovers(?)/angst Summary: You realize you're in love with your best friend San and unsure how to approach it. Playing with the thin line between friends and lovers. author notes: This is my first piece in a while, I hope everyone enjoys it! in a silly goofy mood at 5am Word Count: 1.6k

The both of you definitely started off on the wrong note. When you and San were first introduced to each other, it was difficult to get close to him. He radiated this intimidating aura and with your shy self, there was no way you'd approach someone like him. You had mutuals through a couple friend groups, it was only natural that you'd end up friends. However, there had been a misunderstanding through a mutual friend and you never thought to clear the air.. because after all, you weren't in a position to fight for the friendship anyway. The both of you left it as it is. Fast forward to 2 years later and the two of you are closer than ever. There was a stark difference between your personalities, hobbies, hell- even the way you both processed things were different. But oddly enough, you guys make it work. You were the epitome of 'opposites attract.' You'd never expect that a toxic relationship would deem you two as inseparable. San struggled a lot and you were there for him whenever he needed a shoulder to lean on. No one understood him but you oddly did. Looking at his situation, you found yourself looking in the mirror recognizing you had been in his position just a year ago. You desired to be there for him. You were reminded of the turbulent moments and unexplainable behaviors that took place- and unknowingly, you began to prioritize him. Not in a romantic way- more so, just ensuring San is doing okay because after all, he is your best friend. All you could think about were the empty moments you experienced when you went through the same thing, you didn't want him to believe no one understood him, because you did. How delightful would it have been if you had someone like this to root for you back then? San allowed himself to become comfortable with you. Sharing each vulnerable thought was a common conversation you two had and honestly- it was fascinating to learn how aware he was about his emotions because all this time, you believed he was emotionally constipated. Even after being friends for so long, the conversations you had never reached the depth that they did now. This was a sign he genuinely acknowledged you to be his closest friend. You'll never overlook the excitement you experienced at the realization he trusts you at his most vulnerable moments. It was happiness. This is what it feels like to have a friendship reciprocated. Vulnerable. Stable. Consistent. Several months go by and that relationship ends. You adhere to his side until the end, making sure he's completely taken care of; and even though it's challenging, you walk him through the emotions, keeping him together at his roughest moments. You had become his pillar. And that's exactly what you did, until, he suddenly cut off contact with you. You understood his heartbreak. He needed time to heal, but that time apart managed to lead through the most confusing part of your friendship. You missed him terribly but what could you do? He needed his space and you respected that. You hear from him for the first time for what feels like forever and you notice something is off. There's something about his aura that shifted- and you couldn't figure it out. Both of you are nervous to talk to each other after the sudden break but as always, you get through it and pick up on the flow once again. But this time it's different. There was a new feeling of awareness in your stomach when you got a notif from him- and for so long, you assured yourself it was because you missed him. Which was true. (at least for now.) There were many instances where you wanted to reach out and invade his space but that would only harm your friendship, and that was the furthest thing you desired to do. But you couldn't help yourself, you grew anxious that he would disappear on you again and started attaching yourself to him a different way and it was a scary feeling because you knew where this would lead to. "She was my person. It was rocky but I've never loved anyone so hard," he says amidst another vulnerable conversation. You try to bring him comfort by wrapping your arms

around him, gently pulling him in for a hug as he sobs again for the night. Your hands rub against his back, gently finding a pace. You feel his grasp on you tighten, hands clinging to you like you'll slip away. But you stay there, bringing him all the comfort he needs, he was still healing. There was that feeling again. Like always, you brushed it aside and never dared to ponder upon it. For the first time, your heart sinks when he's talking about her. It's a good day for both of you. Throughout your hangout you're able to pick up conversations like before, San is starting to smile again and joke a lot more often, the bright San you knew was returning and you were genuinely happy for him. "I knew you'd turn out okay, if I did, you would. It just took some time." you blurt out in the middle of silence as the two of you are watching a movie. He stops in his tracks to turn towards you, "Thank you." His lips curve up into a warm smile with his arms reaching out, unexpectedly pulling you into his arms. "You know, I'm sorry for disappearing. You've been nothing but good to me through everything. I'm grateful to have you around, I promise I'll return everything." You go along with it, loosely wrapping your arms around his frame. "It's okay." You answer with a pause before continuing. "I missed you a lot." "I did too."

There it is again. That feeling. As time went by, it was growing difficult to ignore the little jump in your heart seeing anything of him. A text? A call? Hanging out? Your wavering heart couldn't ignore. The overwhelming feeling was too much for you to handle so that day you ignore San for your sake. You took the day off to think about your feelings for the first time. Why him? Why now? It was hard to understand the sudden change in heart. You pondered over and over again if this was true. Overthinking leads one thing to another and the next thing you know, you're on your bed crying endlessly in the sheets. Out of all people, your feelings were stirred up by Choi San. For the next few months, it was a brutal game of push and pull. Not between you and San, but you and yourself. Slowly, you were filled with frustrations no one but him had answers to, it was driving you insane; One moment you would see San as a friend, then it would be more than that. The friendly gestures you were recieving from him were transforming to a different meaning in your heart. The pet names, the random compliments, the sporadic oversharing- oh you wished that it would stop. But a part of you knew you were acting like this due to the fact you were hyper aware of your feelings.

At one point you wondered what it would be like to feel his lips against yours. It was a confusing cycle you couldn't stand to seperate from him. How bad could it be if you started and ended things on your note? But if you revealed your heart, what if it backfired? There was a chance you'd lose your best friend and it was too risky to cross that line. You were desperate enough to go on dates, and of course, San encouraged you through all of them. There was a clear answer to your questions but the little hope you had in you, kept praying. Just maybe. You wanted San to feel the same way. Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, or you were tired of stringing yourself along- so you initiated the conversation about dating again. Of course, you were extremely careful with how you apporached the situation; One mess up and it'll change the dynamic of your bond forever. You thought about what would happen far ahead. Sure he accepts your feelings and there's might be connection but what if you guys aren't compatiable as lovers? would the both of you have the courage to love like you haven't been hurt? "San- Can I ask you for advice on something? Or not really advice.. but your input." The brunette gears his attention towards you fully, emmitting the same flustering feeling in your stomach. But you don't react physically.

"Is it something serious?" "Yeah sort of-" "Is this another joke you're play-" "I'm serious!" "Okay, what's up?" "what do you think about dating a friend?-" "what?" "just answer the question." "I'm scared it'll happen again." " yeah same, I get you." The both of you return to the movie, carrying on like the conversation didn't happen. The air turned thick. At one point the comfortable silence grew suffocation. Did he catch on or are you thinking too much? For the first time you realized how dangerous that fine line between friends and lovers were. In the end, you didn't want him to take responsibility for your actions. Why should San suffer because of your feelings? that was the last thing you wanted. Sure, you won't be able to kiss him and hug him, or feel his embrace in a much more intimate way- but he was by your side and that mattered. With that, you were happy and content. Even if his heart wasn't yours. "San?" "Yeah?" "I'm really grateful you're my best friend." "I could say the same."

[whitexwingedxdoves]

wretched heart    [request]

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Warnings: Language Summary: Despite ending things with Daryl, you still can’t seem to let go of him. (loosely inspired by Happier by Olivia Rodrigo) A/N: Requested by @srhxpci​ (angst with a happy ending 😊 ) I hope you enjoy. Tags: @chloe-skywalker​ @browneyes528​ Italics = Flashbacks.

-

Your heart seemed to break into a million pieces as you walked away from Daryl, after everything that had happened with Negan and now with the loss of Rick you weren’t prepared to lose Daryl Dixon. You clawed at your chest, hoping it would allow you to breathe but it remained stuck as you left the archer there in the middle of the forest. You had never loved someone so deeply before and it scared you, it scared you to the point of running and hiding – you told him it wasn’t safe for them anymore and that even though it wasn’t your time now, it will be one day and you wholeheartedly believed it. The idea that the world will be well enough one day that you could get back your Daryl was the only thing that allowed you to get out of bed in the morning.

Thing’s got too much for you after you and Daryl went your separate ways and therefore you decided that you needed to venture out on your own for a while, perhaps look for Rick’s body or find out where Anne had disappeared. You didn’t have a set objective but you knew you needed the time to yourself. Tara tried to argue it was too dangerous for you to be on your own but failed to take into account the amount of time you had already spent alone out in the woods before meeting the group. Your trip didn’t provide much new information but you felt you had successfully cleared your mind enough to return back to Hilltop. You had been gone for maybe a month or two, you didn’t really keep track of the time but you didn’t think it could have been longer than that.

Once you reached the gate’s it didn’t take long for them to open, the guards seemed more than happy about your return, you gave your horse a stroke, thanking it for returning you back home safe before trotting past the gates. You watched as a few people gathered as you came to a stop, you looked around, happy to be home until your eyes landed on a far to familiar bike. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to redirect your attention, finally pushing yourself to get off the horse. You managed to send faux smiles at everyone who welcomed you home, allowing someone to take your horse to the stable. You looked around at the small crowd of people before returning your attention to Alden who offered you a warm hug. You pulled away and let your hand land on his shoulder. “Where’s Jesus?” your question seemed to strike unwell with Alden, his head dropped slightly before meeting with your gaze.

“He- erm” he struggled to pull together a sentence attempting to keep you updated on the situation at Hilltop, you instantly wished you were back out in the woods blissfully ignorant to the death of your friend. A small tear rolled down your face but you nodded towards the man, acknowledging his words.

-

You spent the rest of your day in your room, with the news on Jesus and seeing Daryl’s bike you figured that anything beyond your four walls weren’t worth the hassle. No one bothered you all day and you were grateful for that, you cleaned yourself up and got familiar with the comfort of your mattress again. When the sun started to set, you thought you needed to stop moping around, show your face even if its just for a few minutes. Thankfully on your travels you came across a half empty crate of alcohol, a bottle of rum seemed fitting for the situation so you grabbed it by the neck and made your way outside to mingle.

Fires had already started and you seemed to slip into the crowd of people unnoticed, everyone seemed to be in their own little groups or wandering around you unscrewed the cap of the rum and allowed the brown liquid to pour down your throat. You found a quiet spot just off from everyone else but it gave you the perfect view of everyone gathered there that night. Your eyes wandered from person to person until they seemed to freeze. Daryl Dixon. Your heart seemed to crawl up your throat as you watched the man fiddle with his fingers, attempting to master a sign but you didn’t pay much attention to that, instead you admired the way he had aged since you last saw him. Your mind flashing images of a younger archer and you came to the conclusion that he aged perfectly well, you’d giggle to yourself thinking about how he’d always be scared of the age gap you had even though no one else really noticed it nor did they care.

You noticed his smile and then you noticed who he gave it to, you’d never seen her before but you couldn’t disregard her beauty or the way her eyes seemed to shine as she laughed at Daryl’s attempts to communicate with her with his hands. Your heart dropped, it felt like it had completely left your body as you watched the two flirt with each other, your eyes welled up whenever she touched his arms all you could think was how they were your arms and not hers. So caught up with your blind jealousy, you almost didn’t notice that Daryl was now staring right back at you, it made you stumble a little but you shot him a smile before your eyes left him, doing anything you could to keep the tears from leaving your eyes.

The alcohol seemed to help loosen the lump in your throat as you chugged down as much rum as you possibly could before it made you feel sick “Hey” you’d know that gravelly voice anywhere, it sent goose bumps up your arms as you lowered the bottle back to you side, clearing your throat as you looked to your side. Your heart seemed to race at the sight of the archer who stood close by you

“Hey” your voice was much softer as your eyes landed on his shoulders, not brave enough to look into his eyes just yet. The tension could have been cut with a blunt knife, you kicked loose stones under your feet as the southerner struggled to think up a conversation. “How ya been?” he broke the silence finally with a question he genuinely cared to know, he watched you closely as you scoffed at his words. “Fine” despite your short temper, you allowed yourself to look into Daryl’s eyes now sending him a faux smile. “Whatta bout you? Saw you getting on nicely with that girl over there, what’s her name?” you hated how bitter you sounded in that moment but it seemed the alcohol had taken over your entire attitude failing to incorporate a filter. “Connie” Daryl muttered back at you, watching you take yet another sip of your poison. Your eyes widened now you had a name for her face, licking the access rum from your lips. “She’s pretty” the air fell silent around you both now, you tried to fight every urge to shout and scream that he should be with you and not her.

Eventually you couldn’t hold your tongue anymore, you had far too much liquid confidence supporting your toxic words to even think straight anymore “Does this mean you forgot about me?” despite your intentions your words fell soft as you stared into the crowd of people, your leg shaking a little as you awaited his response but you never got one, instead he just stared at you in disbelief “I always thought that one day we’d get back together you know but I can see that’s not on you agenda” you spat at the man, the anger becoming more apparent with every word. Daryl grunted at your words, his scowl creasing his features. “Na, ya the one who ended shit!” he became extra expressive with his movements, his finger pointing in your direction as he paced back and forth. “because it wasn’t safe!” you shouted back in his direction, your face mimicking his “You know what it’s like now as soon as you’re even slightly happy, the thing you love the most is taken from you without warning. I’ve lost too much, I couldn’t lose you too!`` At some point you decided to take a softer approach with your honesty taking a deep breath when you finally split your truth.

The moment fell quiet once more, a tear created a track on your face as you turned away from him you crossed your arms keeping a firm hold on the bottle you babysat all night. “I'm happy you found Connie, you deserve it.” You peeked over your shoulder so that the archer could hear you “I just don’t think I could ever be as happy as I was when I was with you” and with those words you left him there as you made your way back to your room.

When the door closed behind you, you found yourself pressed against the wall beside it, trying your hardest to suppress the tears your eyes held onto. You placed the glass bottle on top of your dresser and attempted to ease your breathing and slow the hard heavy beating of your heart. It seemed to stop completely when you heard someone’s knuckles brush against your door, you stood perfectly still for a moment before you reached for the knob. You slowly pulled it open revealing Daryl stood on the other side, you stared up at him in silence and took in his posture, he seemed a little out of breath, like he had been running which only confused you more. “Me an Connie are jus friends' ' he panted, taking a couple of steps so that he was now fully in your room. You couldn’t deny that your heart seemed to burst with joy at the news but now you were just left completely embarrassed by your outburst. “Ya the only girl for me” you allowed a small chuckle to pass your lips but you wasted no time in wrapping your arms around him, pushing at the back of his neck with your hands to pull him into a soft, sweet kiss. You tried to hide the moan that surfaced as his hands cradled your hips. You were completely weak at his touch, god had you missed the way this felt.

He pulled away slowly, taking in the smile that stretched across your face, allowing a small smile of his own to pierce his stern features “Ya taste like a bar” “I'm sorry!” you winced attempting to pull away from the redneck but he didn’t allow you, he kept you close and pulled you in tighter when you attempted to leave his grasp.

“Na, I like it”

[effinsusie]

Hogoshamaru Week 2021- DAY TWO: Modern Day AU

Sesshoumaru is Rin’s protector, and always will be.

To celebrate this profound platonic bond, I wanted to share an excerpt from my story PROMISE IN THE PARK: 

(sorry I didn’t have time to make anything new!  but I still wanted to participate XD  hope that’s ok.)

Summary: A troubled Sesshoumaru seeks refuge at his favorite park, where he meets a little girl with troubles of her own.  

Rated T for implied abuse

---

With her chin on her knees and her gaze going right through the little ducks, she didn't acknowledge the tall stranger looming at her side. She must have truly been distraught not to take note of his imposing form, he decided. He knew he was stealthy, but at that distance, a man of his stature and status was impossible to ignore.

"Are you alright?" He almost felt bad for disturbing her. He knew how valuable his peace was, and he was loathe to rob it from another. When she turned to finally regard him, that distant gaze went right through him just as easily. The hollowness of it was chilling, and reinstated his resolve. Something was wrong here; he could feel it.

"Where are your parents?" he tried again, tilting his head in concern... but she returned her inattentive gaze to the pond.

"I came here by myself." Her reply was listless, with her chin still resting atop slightly scraped knees.

"This One as well," he offered, also shifting his gaze to the bathing waterfowl. "I often come here when I wish to be alone."

Despite what that implied, he forwent awaiting invitation - which seemed about as likely at the moment as him asking permission. He could sense her brief flash of annoyance as he fluidly claimed the empty space beside her, though he appeared as oblivious as the flittering ducks his eyes were trained on. The familiar feeling of scrutiny, and subsequent awe did nothing to distract his laser-sharp, deceptively disinterested focus.

"Why do you talk like that?" she asked, finally showing interest as her somber spell appeared to have broken.

"Like what?"

"This One," she parroted, but not in mockery.

She watched as Sesshoumaru made himself comfortable, unhurriedly removing his professionally prepared sandwich before placing the box aside.

"Where I am from, that is how people speak," he informed her simply. "I suppose it is uncommon these days."

"Where are you from?" She adjusted to face him more fully. He did not respond in kind, but discretely managed to observe brown eyes widen in curiosity.

"The West."

"How far?"

When he shifted his attention back down to her, he heard her soft intake of breath. She held it until he mercifully replied.

"Very."

It was clear to him that the girl had manners when she waited for him to swallow his modest bite before firing off another question. "Everyone talks like that there?"

The subtlest twisting of his mouth so easily relayed his sudden displeasure, and he looked down at his lunch with disdain. "Not everyone." He tore a portion of bread away without transferring any to himself and made happy ducks absolutely ecstatic.

"My parents were especially strict, of course they would simply call it 'traditional.' My manner of speech is a byproduct of that traditional upbringing." Sighing softly, he readied another piece of his lunch and aimed it at the pond. "I suppose we can never escape our past fully, no matter how far we go."

Whatever he'd said, it appeared that her brief reprieve was over. As if remembering herself, the girl resumed her previous posture, knitting her resentful brows together and drawing up her knees once more. "I hope that's not true," she uttered softly. She sounded as if she was warning the fates.

She reminded him strikingly of himself in that moment, but Sesshoumaru could not fathom what he would possibly have in common with an 8-year-old girl.

He supposed she exuded a maturity rarely seen in one so young. Solemn and reserved, her turbulent eyes told another story. And then there was that obvious defiant streak kept just scarcely contained beneath her skin.

She was independent... but maybe it only seemed that way because she was there on her own. She was a tad thin, but not dangerously so. Her groomed appearance and nicer than average clothing proved that someone cared about this girl- or at least cared for her. It wouldn't make sense why anyone with a vested interest in the child would allow her to venture on her own. Anything could happen to her in this city these days - a reminder he was not pleased of at the moment.

She was fortunate he came upon her, before a man of less honorable intentions.

"What brings you to the park alone today?" he asked casually.

"I ran away."

"Ah." With his undesirable lunch relocated to more appreciative bellies, he opened his wet nap with his hands and set off on cleaning them fastidiously.

His apparent lack of interest seemed to relax the tension in her shoulders a bit. At least, that was how it appeared out of the corner of his eye. The liberating strangeness of being ignored was something he remembered well, and a staple of a child with overbearing parents.

"What about you?"

"The same," he answered while inspecting his handiwork. Sanitized to his liking, he discarded the napkin.

"Aren't you too old to run away from home?" The way her brow creased sharply in obvious confusion was cuter than he would ever admit aloud.

It took work to keep his lips from twitching in amusement, so he opted for a distraction. "Are you hungry?"

Without waiting for a reply, he rummaged past a bottled water and what was surely a very bland apple. When he produced a large, chocolate chip laden confection and extended it to her, he recognized the covetous nature of her gaze. Her response pleased him - someone should get some enjoyment out of his lackluster lunch. He was sure someone out there worked hard on it, and he absolutely despised waste. Between her and the ducks, his conscience could rest easy.

"I don't eat chocolate," he assured her.

Small fingers twitched as she lifted her hand, only to withdraw it before reaching the cellophaned treat.

"Kagome says I'm not allowed to take things from strangers," she all but pouted, and he recognized the resentful tint she used earlier. Resentful, but resigned, and that was just enough to let a smirk past his defenses.

'Even with no one around, she adheres.' It was the marker of a good kid, of good character. The similarities were just piling up.

It was also the marker of something else - a mentor worth honoring. Worth emulating and admiring.

"Kagome sounds very smart." He pulled back the rejected cookie lest he tempt her into forgetting her convictions. And, he supposed, before setting a dangerous precedent. Little brown eyes followed as he placed it back inside the box. "Your sister?"

"She was my babysitter."

He noted the past tense, the sad tone, and put two and two together. "What happened to her?" he asked carefully.

"My dad fired her. I hate him."

That went without saying as well, as her expression darkened in a way that nearly startled his eyebrows into his bangs. 'Impressive.'

"Is that why you ran away?" he ventured evenly instead, but she didn't answer. Not with words.

When she strangled her encased legs so tightly he thought she may lose circulation, she revealed something she surely hadn't intended to.

The brave face she put on kept her fear well concealed, but what he could now see helped him detect her self-soothing pose for what it was. Curling in on herself for comfort just as she had in the womb – when she was at her most vulnerable and employing freshly forged instinct for the very first time. Ignorant of the world and what lay in wait; she only had herself to allay any discomfort. Or so it had seemed.

In reality, she was being cared for and protected by her mother all along - unaware that a being she'd yet to meet was helping her thrive from afar.

So where was that woman now? And how in god's name had she allowed this?

When she hugged herself even tighter, the collar on her checkered dress strained enough to reveal another piece to the puzzle. It was just a fraction of skin poking out above her shoulder, but it was all he needed to solve this abhorrent riddle. He made sure to remain composed even as he felt his nails puncturing his palm.

"Where did you get those bruises?"

She stiffened tensely despite his soothing timbre, hunching her shoulders almost to her ears. Unable to form a response, panicked eyes shifted uncertainly to his... only to find them regarding her impassively.

While he tried to determine just how much damage she kept covered up, and where, he retained his stoic mask as he'd become quite adept at by now. A rabid demon inside him was frothing for justice - he always was - but becoming excitable would do no one any favors, least of all her. Not yet.

There would be a time for that - oh yes, there would - but for now, his cool visage and calm demeanor would prevail. The last thing he wanted was to upset her further.

After holding her gaze meaningfully for long, patient seconds, he mercifully removed it from her all together. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

He wished she would. He wished he could tell her that she was safe with him - that she could trust him. But those things must be proven through demonstration. Earned.

Respecting her space and her privacy was a necessary start, one she'd had violated plenty already – most recently by him, when he encroached upon her bench and invaded her solitude.

An ill feeling was settling heavily inside his stomach as guilt twined with emotions he'd left for dead long ago. Reanimated after enough dormancy to forget their voices all together, and he was no more grateful for the reminder than he was prepared for it.

He was scowling deeply when the silence stretched too long, and he braced himself for what awaited him when he chanced another look at the child he shared a bench with. Even still, when he did, she managed to startle him anew.

He hadn't anticipated her to be leaning so close. He certainly hadn't prepared himself for her silly, gap-toothed grin. He could think of none to rightfully claim catching the stoic man off his guard, but he must have made quite the picture. Soft giggling snapped him out of his stupor enough to remember himself and correct his appearance, but it was already too late.

It seemed the morose girl did have the capacity for happiness. That he had brought it out was a very warming feeling. Perhaps now he could understand his own mother's reaction to his rare moments of levity.

He knew better than anyone how difficult it was to express joyfulness, let alone actually experience it. Until very recently, he would accuse any who could of simply not paying attention.

He did not fault the cynics for their bleak outlook - he even occasionally walked among them - but it felt like defeat to just accept the world how it was. He had never been good at simply accepting what he was given.

"My name's Rin."

He was fully intending to play it off like it never happened, but a slight tug at his lips betrayed their secret exchange. He bowed his head slightly. "Mine is Sesshoumaru."

Her genuine smile encouraged his own, and he saw her eyes drift down to the box sitting between them.

"Now we're not strangers."

The covetous gaze returned and lingered tellingly, prompting him to reach again for the cookie she had refused. This time, she was quick to relieve him of it.

He watched on fondly as she made quick work of the wrapping. "I hate my father as well."

"You still have a father?" Her incredulous question was mumbled around chocolate and sugar, as a third of the huge cookie was somehow already missing.

'Very impressive...'

The tactless honesty of children was something he'd grown to appreciate over the years. If you wished to know the cold hard truth of how you appear to the world, simply ask a child, and they will tell you. No sugar-coating, no ass-kissing. In his world of ever-increasing boot-licks with neither spine nor shame, not only was that honesty refreshing; it was invaluable.

He would not be where he was today without it, for how could anyone trust you if you lie to even yourself?

And if you can't bear to hear the truth from a mere child, your perception is the least of your problems.

Still - for his age - he thought he looked phenomenal.

He smirked his amusement while she tore into her cookie again. "He died. Long ago, but it has not softened my opinion of him. Some things can simply never be forgiven."

"What did he do?" she asked, and he found another thing he liked about children. They did not feign sympathy. He did not mourn his father, and neither did anyone else. If they really knew him, they would not think he wished them to pretend to.

"He was cruel," he admitted easily. "He hurt... This One's mother, before I was grown enough to protect us." Sesshoumaru clenched his fist tight upon his well-tailored thigh as unwelcomed memories floated to the surface. "It was terrifying how strong he was," he recalled darkly, "but then one day, I was stronger."

"And then he couldn't hurt you anymore?"

He could feel himself smiling ruefully. "He couldn't hurt anyone after that."

"My dad is strong too." The regret was clear in her tone as she slunk down into her seat. "And cruel. I don't think I will ever be stronger than him."

"Then you must simply find someone who is, and ask them help you." His advice was matter of fact, knowing.

"Kagome already tried," she grumbled. "But even the police won't help me."

"Why not?" He turned sharply, arching a high brow.

"Because they're afraid. Everyone is afraid of him."

"Is that why he fired Kagome?" Sesshoumaru ventured. "Because she told the police?"

A quick nod from the girl affirmed his guess. "She got really mad at him. She's the only one who isn't scared of him, and that's why he hates her. But he still made her cry when she had to leave," she recounted sadly. "Then, he got mad at me."

And he was quite sure he already knew what that had entailed. Containing all of his rage forced an edge to his tone that he couldn't blunt.

"Where is your mother?"

"She died when I was little," Rin said softly, powerlessness stripping away her accelerated maturity and finally showing her true age. "He was really mean to her, too... and my big sister."

"Where is your sister?" he asked for good measure, but the haunted look she betrayed left little doubt in his mind. He narrowed his eyes. "What is your father's name?"

"Rin!"

Before he could turn to the owner of the excitable voice, Rin was on her feet to receive her. He quickly followed suit.

"Kagome!"

"Rin! Thank the kami."

Paying no mind to the dampened grass - or its effects on her thin leggings – the woman kneeled to envelope Rin in a hug that exuded relief as if trying to transfer it. She hugged her back fiercely, yet mindful enough to keep the rest of her cookie out of her long, silky tresses.

A fleeting smile spelled the end of the reunion, as Rin's attention shifted back to the tall stranger watching quietly within grabbing distance. Realizing this, Kagome's eyes widened in a start, despite the small, pleasant smile on his handsome features.

"What are you doing with this man? Get away from him!" she demanded, maneuvering between them protectively while using her body as a shield. "Did he bring you here?"

He straightened when she stood, and though her hands were keeping tabs on her very unconcerned charge, her distrusting eyes never left him.

"He saw me sitting by myself, so he sat next to me!" the girl explained, prompting Sesshoumaru to as well.

"I am-"

"Did you give her a cookie?" She asked incredulously, and Rin whined her displeasure as Kagome snatched what remained of it from her hand to inspect for herself. Her suspicious glare tinted thickly with disgust when it returned to him. "What, do you creep around the park looking for lonely kids to lure back to your van? I have the authorities on speed dial, just so you know!"

He only had time to lift a brow as the irate woman fumbled for her cell phone, presumably to prove her claim. She paused scrolling a moment to shake the cookie in the young girl's face.

"And what have I told you about taking candy from strangers? You know better than that."

"He's not a stranger; he's Sesshoumaru!"

"I don't..."

Her frantic search slowed to a stop, and for once, he felt relief as he watched recognition's life cycle inevitably bloom - albeit a bit later than he was accustomed to. "... Sesshoumaru Taisho?"

He knew he didn't need to answer by the pretty shade of pink she suddenly sported, and couldn't help thinking she would prefer if he were the degenerate she'd assumed.

"You must be Kagome," he said, bowing at her slightly. "Rin has spoken fondly of you."

She quickly returned the gesture, a little lower and longer in deference.

"I'm sorry, sir," she breathed guiltily. "I'm just kind of freaked out. I've been looking for her for hours, I was worried that..."

"No need to explain," he assured her, letting his disarming smile do its work as it fell into place effortlessly. "I saw her here alone, and we began talking about our fathers."

Both looked down to the girl in question as little hands disappeared into the large handbag Kagome carried. She seemed to know what she was looking for, and eventually helped herself to a small device with long earbuds dangling off the side. She put them on with practiced ease and began excitedly working the buttons as she reclaimed her seat behind them.

"That son of a bitch always gets away with it," she hissed.

Sesshoumaru's attention returned to the seething woman. "and those damn cops are too cowardly to stop him. He's going to kill her one of these days, just like her sister, I know it!"

"I will not let that happen." Despite the absolute certainty of his tone, Kagome seemed hesitant to believe him. He was eerily calm when he spoke softer. "Tell me his name, and I will ensure he never hurts anyone ever again."

---

Read the full one shot (AO3)

@hogoshamaruweek-2021​

[itsclydebitches]

A great example of “RWBY+ can do no wrong” is the whole “Let Penny make her own choices” thing. They keep doing it over and over, yet while watching I never got the idea RWBY+ doing it was bad. They’re never called out, they never regret it, or anything. Ruby takes the scroll from Penny’s hand and answers Ironwood for her, and makes her human without her consent. I get the not killing Penny thing, BUT THAT’S THE ONLY THING THEY DO FOR HER. WTF?!

Yes let's take a hot second to unpack all this.

Now, I'm going to be focusing on late Volume 7 and Volume 8, but in reality this problem started way back during Penny's introduction. Namely, presenting her as a literal tool of the military who has to break the rules set down (go out, have friends, etc.) in order to be her own person. There's a small problem here in the form of making Pietro the shadowy scientist and then changing him into the doting father with no acknowledgement that he a) built Penny with the purpose of being Atlas' tool and b) went along with dictating her actions through that whole run. However, given that Pietro is a minor character we may never even see again, we have a much larger problem in the form of Ruby being entirely disinterested in Penny's plight. Ruby cares about making sure Penny feels real, not that Penny has all the freedoms a real person innately deserves. Admittedly, this is less of an issue back in Volumes 1-3 because RWBY was a less serious show then, Penny was a new friend, and Ruby was the teenager student. But come Volume 7 when our show is questioning the characters' morals, Ruby is an adult now, Ruby has her huntsmen license, and she supposedly has this incredibly strong bond with Penny, it's now a problem that she hears things like "Ironwood doesn't want me to have friends" and just... doesn't seem to care. Or do anything. Or suggest that Penny do something. It's a non-topic. Ruby only becomes interested in Penny's autonomy when that autonomy threatens Ruby's own goals. When Ruby is working for Ironwood, it's totally fine if Penny works for Ironwood too, no matter how she might be being treated. (Though, frankly, I think the show did a terrible job of establishing Ironwood's supposed mistreatment. The no friends rule makes zero sense when Penny is being sent to celebratory parties organized by Ironwood. So that's a whole other issue.) But when Ruby is against Ironwood... well, then Penny needs to be on their side. Of course she'd be on their side. It's presented as inevitable, despite the fact that it very much should not be. But the point is that Ruby cares about keeping Penny away from Ironwood and giving her an illusion of choice only once she is breaking away. Otherwise, Penny's autonomy is not her concern.

So that's where we're starting out which is pretty bad. Already Ruby's status as the contrast to Ironwood is falling flat, but the show admittedly helps smooth things over by giving us such an extreme. Meaning, we learn fairly early on that Ironwood want to hack Penny and take that autonomy away, full stop. Ruby doesn't. Ergo, Ruby is the lesser of two evils here. I can see why so many fans dismiss the scroll scene given its seemingly, comparative insignificance, but it definitely rubbed me the wrong way. Part of that is because Penny never gets to express her own opinions to Ruby. She gets to do it with Winter and, notably, Penny comes to a sort of, 'We can manage both' stance. The dilemma of going after Cinder or saving Winter and fighting Salem or saving the people of Atlas/the Relics are meant to mirror one another and Penny manages to achieve both. She saves Winter and keeps the power out of Cinder's hands too. Then, she's given the one key that controls the latter dilemma: the Maiden powers. So what will Penny decide? How does she view the situation to leave or stay? How will her decision regarding Cinder and Winter impact her decision about Atlas and Mantle?

It doesn't. We have no idea what Penny thinks outside of a 'I'm sad when friends fight' line (which, again, puts a huge damper on the idea that Penny was always Ironwood/the Ace Ops' puppet and should be glad to be rid of them). Penny is brought into Ruby's group and her opinions disappear because Ruby makes all the decisions. Whatever Ruby says goes and THAT'S why the scroll scene is so horrible. Because we just watched Penny deciding for herself what to do about Winter. We just watched Penny deciding to take on the Maiden powers, making herself the most important person in the Kingdom right now. And then Ruby picks her up and all that goes away. Penny is given the chance to decide things again when Ironwood calls and Ruby takes the scroll away, speaking on her behalf. It does not matter whether Penny actually agrees with Ruby's decisions here, the act of not allowing her to make those decisions for herself speaks volumes.

From then on Penny just stops making choices. Ruby is the one who talks her into forgetting about Ironwood and the Ace Ops. Jaune is the one who decides to split the team and Ruby decided they need to get Amity up. Pietro literally takes control of Penny's body to hack into the system. Penny gets cut off from the group due to the Ace Ops and Nora is the one who decides to help. Prior to literally being hacked, she was more of a puppet in their hands than she was with Ironwood because it's in Ironwood's employ that we actually see Penny pushing back: She's going to be friends with Ruby no matter what, she's going to challenge Winter on her views, she's going to take the powers because that's what needs to be done, etc. But that lack of agency is completely overshadowed by Ironwood's hack Penny plan. Everything looks better compared to that, even if what we're left with is pretty awful on its own. Remember, this is the point in the story where Ironwood is fully evil, post-shooting Oscar and the Councilman. The group can do whatever they want at this point and come off looking "heroic," simply by means of not being Ironwood.

The next time Penny makes a decision is when she stands up to Pietro. Note that prior to this everyone talked her into doing something she says she does not want to do: leaving the group to stay on Amity. Pietro suggests it, Ruby justifies it, Weiss says it might be for the best and Blake ends the conversation by saying they need to leave. Penny goes, "I guess we all have to do some things we would rather not." They all make that decision for her. So she goes, fights Cinder, and then Amity starts to fall. Pietro says, "You’re in no condition to do something like this. Even just the temperature out there could--" and Penny counters "It is our only option."

No, it's not. This is Ruby's option. You can very much not send the totally useless message out, supposedly risking your life in the process ("supposedly" because, again, why this is such a danger for Penny when she was just flying outside with Cinder remains a mystery). Penny treats Ruby's plan as something inevitable. They can't fall back after Penny hacked into the Atlas systems, Penny fought off the Ace Ops, Penny defended Amity from another Maiden. She has to go one step further and risk another death because the concept of saying, "Hey, Ruby's plan isn't feasible anymore" is just never on the table. Ruby is in the mansion sitting around while Penny does all the dangerous work to put her plan into action.

So she pushes back against Pietro in a way she NEVER has with Ruby, insisting that this is how she's going to live her life. Even Maria chimes in with a "we need to remember the big picture." (Wait, the potential death of a Maiden and the loss of the key to the vault isn't a part of the big picture?) Pietro is supposedly in the wrong because he cares about Penny, not the war, but if that's such a bad thing... then what does that make this?

We have a whole scene where Penny wants the group to destroy her to (again, supposedly) help them in the war - take her out as a threat - and they give a resounding, 'Fuck that.' Ruby doesn't want to see her friend dead for the sake of this war. Pietro doesn't want to see his daughter dead for the sake of this war. Yet Pietro is the one who is framed as too narrowminded. Penny standing up to Pietro is meant to be celebratory, but Penny giving in to Ruby is meant to be celebratory too.

And then, of course, once it's Jaune with a sword to her throat, Penny's desire to die is honored.

Then, finally, we have the Ambrosius fiasco. I've spoken at length about this already, but suffice to say we never got a scene where Penny expressed a desire to be turned human. As the above scene demonstrates, her desire to risk her life/die is ignored only when it's Ruby making that call. Otherwise, with Pietro and Jaune, Penny's agency is upheld (however horrible the circumstances). Does she want live a life with a flesh body? Does she have any other ideas how they might eradicate the hack? Would she prefer Ruby try to put her into a new android body first? We have no idea! We never see Ruby ask. We never see that Ruby cares beyond what she wants for Penny. They clearly had the time to hash out all these loophole wishes, but we couldn't have gotten a ten second scene where Penny goes, 'I'm cool with this'? Assuming that Penny knows what they plan to do and that she has no reservations prior to waking up with flesh hands doesn't work, not when her character largely revolves around agency and Ruby has not been showing her that particularly well.

Ruby decides that Penny is on their team (scroll scene). Then she decides that Penny will not die (contrast to Jaune and Pietro). Then she decides that Penny will be saved by stripping away a core part of her identity. Penny goes from being hacked to watching that part of herself actually die, glitching out while her friends smile about it. Ruby spent Penny's entire run insisting that she was a person just as she was, but then Ruby is the one to turn around and take that away from Penny, prior to leading her into a battle where she died again, likely because she was now a fragile flesh girl. Ironwood was given the extreme of trying to take Penny over completely, once he went full Bad Guy, but Ruby is the one who made decisions for Penny throughout this run, with Penny given no chance to speak up for herself. Penny, once at Ruby's side, subscribed to the overarching belief that Ruby is always right (fitting in nicely with Ren's arc of learning to stop questioning things). The story didn't even consider giving Penny different opinions, hesitations, anger, or anything that would truly jeopardizes what Ruby wants, because what Ruby wants is, consistently, treated as the only way to go.

[ves-is-writing-bnha-again]

Three's a Crowd

A/n: Did I just spend 10 hours straight, writing this? Yes. Is it currently 7am? Also yes. Do I care? Not really.

Warning(s): angst, hurt/comfort

Pairing(s): Hitoshi Shinsou x reader, Shouto Todoroki x reader

“Shinsou! Stop it! Let him go!” The teacher shouted, distressed by the sudden turn of events. Shinsou, only 4 years old and not fully understanding what’s happening, began to get upset, “What are you doing to him?!” She cried, shaking the boy in front of him, “I don’t know.” He said quietly, tears building up and rolling down his cheeks, “Well stop it!” The teacher said sternly and he only cried harder. The teachers assistant came over to see what was happening, “Looks like the kid’s eyes are fogged over. Might be a type of mind control.” He said calmly, not even acknowledging Shinsou crying behind him, “Well make him stop!” The teacher snapped and the assistant gave him a stern look, “Kid cut it out, let him go you could be hurting him.” He scolding Shinsou which made him cry even more, “I don’t know how!” He cried.

He felt arms wrap around him, and while he couldn’t see clearly due to the tears blurring his vision, he could make out a head of h/c hair and big e/c eyes looking at him. He immediately started to feel calm and next thing he knew, the boy in front of him shook his head and made a beeline for the teacher, hiding behind her.

For weeks, other kids avoided him. He heard his teachers talking about him in passing, apparently he had developed his quirk, but nobody knew due to it being a mental one. It wasn’t until he accidentally brainwashed the boy when trying to ask him if he wanted to play that anyone had realized it. After that, he was deemed too dangerous to be left alone with any of the others, under constant supervision. Not that it mattered seeing as the others didn’t seem to want to be near him anyway.

Except for one. One he came to know as Y/n.

They were so sweet to him. Unlike everyone else, they would approach him when told to find a buddy for arts and crafts, sit with him during snack time. Would even join him during nap time. When outside for recess, they would ask if he wanted to join them on the swings, or just sit and play with toys. The two of them became inseparable.

Teachers were worried he had brainwashed them and kept interfering, trying to separate the two, but that was quickly put to a stop when Y/n’s father told them off for trying to isolate a child after hearing about how Y/n was upset about not being allowed to play with Shinsou and witnessing first hand at drop off how the staff kept them from going near him. After that, Y/n was allowed to be near him, but it came with other classmates not wanting to be near them either, not that they cared.

The two remained best friends even once they reached middle school and the villain comments started. Y/n stuck with him every time a nasty comment was thrown his way, even tried to fight a few people, but Shinsou never let it get too far. He knew Y/n’s dream of being a hero, and didn’t want them to get in trouble and jeopardize it for him. He wanted to be a hero as well, and part of that is keeping those you care about safe, which included keeping your best friend from making a dumb mistake like fighting someone for making a passing comment.

However, that never stopped him from fighting a couple people. He didn’t care much for the villain comments. They hurt a bit yeah, but he ignored them when he could. He drew the line at people calling Y/n weak though. A hard line at that. Y/n had a healing quirk, good for physical injuries, but also emotional ones as well. Could heal a bone and a broken heart with a single hug or touch of the hand. It was how they calmed him down so quickly when they were younger. Any anger or sadness Shinsou felt was gone within seconds when they were around, but he was certain at this point that it wasn’t their quirk at play, that was just how he felt around them.

Running down the street, Shinsou was cursing himself. He woke up late and missed the train, having to wait for the next one in order to get to Y/n’s house in time. It was their birthday, and he had made plans with them to go out and get lunch together. It wasn’t just a special day for that reason. Today was the day he was going to ask them out as well. If the damn train would hurry up that is. Sitting in his seat, bag with their gift in one hand, phone in the other, he sent them a text, leg bouncing with anticipation. He knows they wouldn’t be mad at him, but damn he would feel bad if they got upset thinking he forgot.

The train arrived and he made a beeline inside to the closest seat, sitting down right as his phone buzzed. Checking it, he noticed it was a text from Y/n, letting him know that it was fine if he was late. Smiling at his phone he heard someone next to him chuckle. Looking to his right, he saw an older couple looking at him, “A grin like that must mean they’re pretty special hm?” The woman asked and he nodded, a faint blush appearing, “Very special.” He responded and they gave him a knowing look.

A little while later, he reached his stop and rushed off the train, booking it down the street, nearly running into several people before finally arriving at Y/n’s house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by their father, who grinned upon seeing Shinsou, still slightly out of breath, standing there, “Hey there, they’re up in their room” He said, letting Shinsou inside.

Thanking him, Shinsou made his way upstairs to their room, not bothering to knock when he came in. Y/n was sitting at their desk, looking at their phone only to turn and see him when they heard him come in.

“About time.” They said jokingly and he smiled, “Sorry, overslept.” He said sheepishly, hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. Y/n smiled back at him, “I’d rather you oversleep than not sleep at all.” They said, giving him that same look they always gave him when he didn’t sleep.

Remembering the gift, he held the bag out, “Happy birthday” He said, face turning a light pink when they grinned, “Aww, you didn’t have to get me anything, you know hanging out with you is enough for me.” They said, taking the bag, “I wanted to.” He said, “It’s not much I know, I only just recently started working at that cafe so I didn’t have much saved up but I saw it and thought of you so I-” He was cut off when they rushed towards him, hugging him tightly, “I love it.” They said, pulling away and admiring the small f/c teddy bear.

They went over to their bed, placing the bear by their pillow before grabbing their shoes and putting them on. Turning back to him, they grinned, “You ready?” They asked and he nodded, “After all that running I did, I’m starving.” He replied.

They grabbed his arm and tugged him out of their room, and downstairs, “Bye dad, we’ll be back in an hour or two!” They called before shutting the front door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Did you hear about the kid on the news that got attacked by that slime looking monster?” Y/n asked as they sat in the park, eating the food they got, “The blond one?” Shinsou asked and they nodded, “Yeah I heard, can you believe that one kid just went running in like that? Even most of the pros couldn’t handle it and he just jumped right in. He’s insane.” He said and they laughed, “Dad said he didn’t know whether the kid was very brave or very stupid.” They said, “Although I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up being in the hero course at UA. He seemed to have some potential from the looks of it with the way he just dived right in wanting to help the guy.” They added and he nodded.

“Speaking of UA, have you heard anything about which class you’d be in?” They asked and he nodded, “Got put in general studies.” He said bitterly, glaring at the ground, “Oh. Well, maybe they just put you there cause they ran out of room? Your quirk is amazing, there has to be some good reason.” They said, “You mean other than that they probably think it’s too much of a villainous quirk?” He grumbled.

They put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, don’t say that. I’m sure you’ll find a way to be a hero, and a great one at that.” They said, giving him that same cheerful smile that always managed to make him feel better and melt him at the same time.

“What about you?” He asked, ignoring his racing heart, “You know what class you’re in?” Y/n looked hesitant for a moment and he looked at them, raising an eyebrow. They mumbled something he couldn’t quite hear, “What?” He asked and they looked at him, “I got into the hero course. 1-A to be specific.” They said, loud enough for him to hear.

He was silent for a while, “Toshi? I’m sorry.” They said and he looked at them, “Sorry for what? It’s good you got in. At least one of us made it.” He told them, giving them a genuine smile. He couldn’t be mad at you, this had been your dream for years, who was he to get mad at you for following it?

Y/n leaned forward and pulled him into a hug, arms wrapped around his neck as one of his wrapped around their waist, “Hey I’m always gonna support you even if I can’t be right by your side okay?” He said, though it was slightly muffled and they nodded, holding him for a few more seconds before moving back to look at him, “I know you would, I’d do the same for you.” They said.

Shinsou wasn’t really sure what came over him. He wanted his confession to be something memorable. He had a little speech that he practiced and everything, but all the words he had just disappeared in that moment and he couldn’t help himself. With the hand that wasn’t currently on their waist, he cupped their face and leaned in slightly, testing the waters to see how they would react. When they didn’t pull away, he closed the gap. Pressing a light kiss to their lips before pulling away slightly. He felt their hands on his face as they brought him back and kissed him again.

He felt a drop of water hit his face and he pulled away and looked up at the sky. There seemed to be more clouds than before and he felt another drop hit his nose, “We need to go, grab the stuff.” He said, quickly grabbing their things and standing, before helping them up as more rain started pouring.

Grabbing their hand, the two took off back to Y/n’s house which luckily was about five or so minutes away from the park. The rain was pouring and both of them were absolutely soaked by the time they arrived and reached the front door, laughing as they caught their breath, “I promise...I didn’t know it would rain.” He said and they smiled, “Yeah I figured.” They said before cupping his face and pressing a light, quick kiss to his lips before pulling away and taking out their key to unlock the door.

Stepping inside, Y/n’s father was sitting on the couch watching tv. He looked over at them, “You two seem a bit wet.” He joked as they took off their shoes. Y/n rolled their eyes, but smiled, “Can he stay until the rain stops?” They asked and he nodded, “I’ll drive him home later.” He said and the pair went upstairs to change, Shinsou having a set of clothes he left the last time he spent the night. Y/n tossed him a towel as they sat on the bed and picked up the bear, holding it to their chest as he dried his hair, “Let’s watch a movie.” They said, sitting with their back against the wall, and he agreed.

Half an hour into the movie, Y/n fell asleep, leaning against his shoulder. Shinsou didn’t quite get to ask them out how he wanted, but he liked how things turned out nonetheless.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three months later, Y/n stood with Shinsou at the entrance of UA. They lightly squeezed his hand, nervous but excited, “You ready?” He asked and they hesitated, “I don’t like the fact that you won’t be there. I don’t know anyone in my class.” They said as they began walking to the doors, “You’ll be fine, we’ll see each other in the halls and during lunch, it’s not like we’ll be completely separated.” He said reassuring them.

Eventually, they reached Y/n’s classroom. Shinsou wrapped his arm around their waist and kissed their forehead, “Good luck.” He told them and they smiled, “You too.” They said as he walked away to his own class.

Stepping into the room, there were already a handful of students talking and getting to know each other. A taller guy with dark hair and glasses appeared to be lecturing a blond guy about something, what he was talking about they weren’t sure, but the blond looked smug. Wait! They knew him! He was the guy on the news! And the kid with the green hair behind him is the one that went running in!

Before Y/n could think anymore about it, someone approached them, she had short chin length brown hair, and big brown eyes, “Hey! I’m Uraraka! Are you excited for the first day?” She asked them and they nodded, “Oh absolutely! I’ve always dreamed about being here.” They said and she smiled, “Me too! This is so exciting! I can’t wait to have fun and make new friends!” She cheered. As more people came into the room, Uraraka gestured for Y/n to follow her, “Come sit with me! I feel like we’ll be good friends!” She said, heading back to her desk as they trailed after her. Sitting at the desk next to hers, and setting their bag next to them, they looked up to see a boy walk in. He had red and white hair split perfectly down the middle and different colored eyes with the right eye being grey, and the left one being a bright turquoise. He seemed to have a red scar around his left eye, that was a stark contrast to his fair skin.

“Who is that?” Uraraka whispered while pointing to the boy that just came in, seeing as the class was starting to quiet down and settle in their seats as the teacher arrived. Y/n shrugged, not knowing the answer, “No idea.” They replied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a month since school started. Y/n was still recovering from the USJ incident. Due to having their own healing quirk, they didn’t need to visit recovery girl, having healed themselves after being carried out due to breaking their right leg in several places after being hit and thrown back by the nomu. Kirishima being the one that carried them with Todoroki applying ice to keep any swelling down, as instructed by All Might.

The downside of Y/n’s healing quirk is that while they can heal any physical injuries, they’re still left extremely sore for a while afterwards, usually about the same period of time it would have taken to heal had they not used their quirk. Unfortunately that meant having to walk around with a crutch until it went away and they could walk without searing pain shooting up their leg with every step.

They were heading back from lunch, having spent it with Shinsou, when they found themselves struggling to get down the stairs without falling, each step down hurting more than the last. One step at a time and everything will be fine, they might be a bit late to class but Aizawa said he’d understand.

“Do you need some help?” A voice said causing them to jump slightly. They looked up to see Todoroki, “Oh it’s you.” They said, shooting him a quick smile, “No thanks, I’ll be fine.” They said, cursing internally about the amount of stairs there were, “Are you sure?” He asked again and they nodded.

“Why didn’t you take the elevator?” He asked them, and they sighed, “It’s locked and Principle Nezu wouldn’t give me a key. Said that since my leg isn’t actually broken anymore, I can get down the stairs just fine.” They told him and he frowned, watching them carefully take another step, “You’ll be late to class this way.” He said and they shrugged, “Aizawa said he would understand. You should get to class though, he may be understanding of my situation but he won’t be as forgiving for you, I don’t want you getting in trouble.” They said, but he didn’t leave.

“Let me help you.” He said, they paused and looked at him, “You don’t have to do that, I’ll be fine.” They said, not wanting him to be late to class cause of them, “No, but I want to. I don’t want you being late either.” He said, coming up the steps to where they were, “Okay.” They said, giving in. Aizawa may have been understanding, but they hated being late and having the feeling of everyone staring as they walked in.

Wrapping one arm around their waist and the other behind their knees, he scooped them up and carried them down the rest of the stairs as they held their crutch in one hand while the other arm wrapped around his shoulders. He didn’t put them down once they reached the bottom, however, and instead just continued on to class, only setting them down once they were outside the classroom.

“Thank you Todoroki, but you didn’t have to carry me all the way to class.” They said as they felt their face heat up slightly, “I didn’t want you struggling if I could do something about it.” He replied before opening the door and letting them walk in first. Thanking him again, they made their way to their seat where Uraraka watched them with a grin.

“Soo what were you and Todoroki doing together?” She asked as they sat down, “He was just helping me cause I was having trouble getting down the stairs.” They said and she hummed, “He’s helping you down the stairs now, but who knows what could happen in the future.” She said, a mischievous look in her eye. She’s been spending too much time with Mina.

The bell rang before they could respond and Aizawa came in with Midnight as Y/n started drawing in their notebook. After a few minutes, chatter filled the room, “Y/n did you hear?! There’s gonna be a sports festival!” Uraraka said, excited, as Mina sat down in the empty seat in front of them, Y/n hadn’t noticed people had gotten up to work together on assignments.

“Yeah! Isn’t this amazing? This is a great chance to show off our skills!” Mina cheered as Jirou joined the conversation, “Heard from Kaminari there’s gonna be pros watching, and if we do well they might let us intern at their agencies.” She said as they all got started on their assignment, “Are you serious?” Y/n asked and she nodded, “Definitely. Can you imagine? Interning at a pro hero’s agency? Pros like Fatgum, Best Jeanist, Endeavor..” She said, and Y/n frowned upon hearing the name Endeavor.

“You don’t like Endeavor Y/n?” Mina asked, they felt eyes burning into the side of their head as they shook their head, “How come? He seems kinda cool. I mean, he is number two hero for a reason.” Uraraka said and Y/n shrugged, “I just don’t like him. He seems like he’s only a hero for the fame and power aspect of it rather than genuinely wanting to help people. I mean, have you seen the man’s eyes? He looks like he’s judging everyone he comes into contact with, not friendly at all.” They said, and the others nodded, “That’s true, he does seem pretty cold a lot of the time.” Jirou stated. The intense feeling of being watched hadn’t wavered once and Y/n looked around to try and see where it was coming from and for a brief second they made eye contact with Todoroki before he looked away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on! You got this!” Y/n cheered with the crowd as they watched the sports festival from the stands. Unfortunately, their leg still wasn’t better by the time the festival came and they couldn’t participate, but they were having a blast watching. It was Shinsou and Midoriya’s time to fight, and Y/n was rooting for Shinsou, but they couldn’t deny Midoriya was doing really well.

The crowd was silent as they watched Midoriya simply turn around and start walking towards the white line. Shinsou was gonna make him walk out of bounds. They were sitting on the edge of their seat as it happened, Y/n sitting next to Todoroki as they watched in anticipation.

“Who are you rooting for in this one?” He asked them, “Shinsou, but Midoriya is doing better than I expected.” They replied as Midoriya seemed to be pausing.

Somehow, Midoriya managed to break free of Shinsou’s brainwashing, and covered his mouth to keep from speaking. He'd figured out how Shinsou’s quirk works.

Y/n watched as they started fighting before eventually Midoriya flipped him and threw him onto his back. They jumped and gasped as their hands covered their mouth as Shinsou laid there on the ground, out of bounds. The crowd cheered as he got up and Midoriya was announced the winner, “I gotta go, I’ll be back.” They told Todoroki before quickly grabbing their crutch and getting up, moving up the stairs as fast as possible.

Eventually, they managed to find Shinsou walking down the hall with his head down, “Toshi!” They called and he stopped and turned to face them. They stopped in front of him and cupped his face with their left hand, “Are you okay?” They asked while inspecting him, worried, “Hey hey, I’m alright, just a bit bruised up. You should go sit back down, I don’t want you walking around when you don’t need to be.” He said, grabbing their hand and holding it, “I’m gonna go see recovery girl, I’ll see you later alright?” He said, kissing the back of their hand, and they nodded, “Okay.” They said, and he walked away. They watched him leave, disappearing around the corner and they made their way back to their seat.

Todoroki wasn’t there when they came back and for a moment they wondered where he had gone, until Present Mic announced his name and they saw him up against Sero, “Poor Sero.” They said. He was a pretty good fighter, but he was no match against Todoroki considering how powerful he was. The match was over about as quick as it started, with Todoroki unleashing a blast of ice so powerful it overtook half the arena. The crowd was dead silent. Even midnight was half frozen which would have made Y/n laugh if they weren’t stunned.

Once most of the ice was melted, the festival continued on and eventually it was time for Todoroki and Midoriya’s fight. Y/n hoped that he didn’t freeze half the arena again, even if it was really cool.

Midoriya kept dodging his attacks as Todoroki shot blast after blast of ice. They seemed to be arguing about something, but Y/n wasn’t sure about what exactly. Finally, Midoriya managed to land a hit that left Todoroki doubled over, and they heard him shout “It’s yours! Your quirk not his!”

That seemed to have struck a chord with Todoroki as he paused, staring at Midoriya but seeming to be lost in thought. Next thing they knew, his left side erupted into flames, the fire reaching out several feet around him. The look on his face made him look insane, but there also seemed to be a hint of gratitude from what Y/n could tell.

They heard Endeavor call his name, yelling some nonsense Y/n couldn’t care enough about to pay attention to, more focused on the flames surrounding Todoroki as pillars of ice formed on his right side. Before they knew it, there was a bright flash as debris flew through the air, a large gust of wind blowing through as dust filled the arena, preventing anyone in the stands from seeing what’s happening. Y/n gripped the arm of their seat as they shielded their face from the dust and debris, before getting hit by a piece roughly the size of their hand, and after that. Nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~

Todoroki sat in Recovery girl’s office, next to where Y/n was laying in the bed. He felt responsible for what happened to them and wanted to apologize. The sports festival had ended an hour ago, with him coming in second place. His dad had tried to approach him after, but the moment Momo had said Y/n was in the infirmary after getting hit by a piece of debris, he ignored his dad and rushed to where they were.

He felt so guilty, knowing that the debris was technically caused by him. He heard movement coming from the bed and looked up to see Y/n looking around, squinting and blinking a few times before focusing on him.

“I’m sorry." He blurted before they could say anything, “I should have been careful and paid attention. I guess I forgot about my surroundings for a moment.” He said and they gave him a small smile, “It’s okay, I know you didn’t do it intentionally.” They reassured, “You still got hurt.” He said, but they waved it off, “I’ll be fine. Might miss a few days of class, but lucky for me, any head injuries tend to heal faster.” They said.

“Is the festival over?” They asked and he nodded, “Did you win?” They asked again, “No, I came in second. Bakugou won. You should have seen him though. They had to chain him up and everything because he was angry about how he won. They even had to put a metal mask thing over his mouth because he kept screaming and cursing.” He told them, and they laughed before flinching.

“Here.” He said, standing quickly, forming a small piece of ice in his hand and wrapping it in a washcloth placed on the table next to the bed before gently holding it against the area they got hit, “Thanks.” They said, smiling at him, and he couldn’t help but give the smallest smile back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks had passed since the sports festival. Todoroki was still rather reserved, but he seemed more open with talking to Midoriya and Y/n, and along with them came talking to Iida and Uraraka.

They were all gathered at lunch, Y/n had wanted to be with Shinsou but he was out sick so they decided to spend it with Uraraka who happened to be sitting with the others. They were talking about the internships and who they might apply for when Y/n heard Endeavor being mentioned and frowned again.

“Y/n you don’t seem to like Endeavor much do you?” Midoriya asked and they shook their head, “Not really.” They said, continuing to eat their soba, “How come?” Momo asked, “He just seems...cocky? Really mean as well. Like that robbery that took place last week that he helped stop? He acted like he did all the work and the others were just there for aesthetics. I don’t know, I just really hate Endeavor and everything he has ever done.” They said, shrugging as they kept eating and Iida gasped, “How rude! You can’t speak of Todoroki’s father like that when he’s right there!” He said, gesturing to Todoroki who was sitting right across the table from them.

They choked a bit before looking at Todoroki, “He’s your dad?” They asked and he nodded, “Yeah.” He replied, and they nodded for a second, “Okay Endeavor has done one good thing.” They said and Todoroki’s face flushed a light pink, “I have two siblings.” He added, “Are they nice?” They asked and he shrugged, “Yeah I guess.” He replied, “Three good things then.” They said and Uraraka giggled as Todoroki’s face flushed a darker red.

Eventually the bell rang and they all headed back to class. For the rest of the day, Todoroki couldn’t stop thinking about what they said. They thought of him as something good? Him? He couldn’t help but feel warm and happy when they said that. Granted he’s felt like that around them for a while, but it increased tenfold when they said that.

“It’s pretty obvious Todoroki.” Midoriya said one night a month later while they were doing dishes after dinner in the new dorms. He looked at him for a second, “What’s obvious?” He asked as he dried the dish that was handed to him, “That you like Y/n. I mean, the way you look at them when they walk into the room? You look and act like they invented the stars.” Midoriya replied.

“And why are you saying this exactly?” Todoroki asked, ”You should tell them. From the looks of it, they like you too.” He replied, as he scrubbed one of the plates, “And how would I do that?” he asked again and Midoriya shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe just tell them you like them? They don’t seem like the type to like grand gestures or anything so maybe just tell them in person before or after class?” He suggested and Todoroki nodded, “Tell them after class.” He said out loud to himself. Didn’t sound too hard, so why did he feel so nervous?

~~~~

Todoroki was making his way to class. He had slept in a bit later than he intended and now he’s only got a few minutes or so before class starts.

Rushing down the hall, he slowed down before he reached the corner so he didn’t potentially run into anyone, but as he got closer he heard talking. Was that Y/n? His heart raced just at the thought of potentially being able to tell them before class or at least just see them.

But he heard another voice as well, it sounded much deeper. Stopping at the corner and peeking around it, he felt his heart drop into his stomach.

There was Y/n, standing there and talking to a guy with wild purple hair, what was his name again? Shinsou? Yeah that was it.

Maybe they were friends? No, not with how close they were standing, and... and it looks like they’re holding hands. Maybe they were just really close friends? His mind was racing up until he witnessed a scene that left him feeling numb and his mind blank.

Shinsou leaned down and kissed them for a few seconds before pulling away and saying he had to go or he’d be late for class. Y/n went into the classroom as Shinsou walked away in the other direction. Todoroki turned and leaned against the wall.

Even though he felt numb, he could feel his heart shattering into millions of pieces as tears welled up in his eyes. Of course they were taken. How could they not be? Someone as brilliant, breathtaking, and kind as they were of course someone would snatch them up once given the chance.

Realizing class started in about a minute, Todoroki collected himself. Putting on a neutral face, he walked into class. He didn’t spare a glance at Y/n, not wanting to break down, and instead kept his head down slightly as he made his way to his desk.

‘From the looks of it, they like you too.’ Perhaps not.

~~~~~

Once classes ended, Todoroki packed his belongings and left the room immediately, not wanting to risk Y/n coming over to talk to him like they usually did. He practically ran back to the dorms in order to avoid anyone who might ask why he was acting strange.

Rushing into his room, he slammed the door shut and locked it. Dropping his bag onto the floor next to him, he leaned back against the door and slid down until he was sitting on the floor as tears streamed down his face. Choking back a sob, not wanting anyone to hear him, he buried his face in his hands. Stupid, stupid. How stupid he was to think he had a chance. He sat there for what felt like hours, but was actually about ten minutes, crying before forcing himself up off the floor and over to his bed where he sat and grabbed a pillow, burying his face in it to muffle his sobbing. How pathetic was he to be crying over someone who probably didn’t even think about him nearly as often as he thought about them?

It made sense to him now, thinking back on it. All the times they weren’t in the lunchroom, those days they couldn’t hang out with him after school because they already had plans, the way they rushed off after the fight during the sports festival. How could he not have seen it? Was he too distracted by the feeling of butterflies he got around them? That slightly dazed feeling he got whenever they smiled at him? The tingling he felt whenever they touched him? How naive he was to think they could love him when they already loved someone else, to think they could love him at all.

He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep, but he found himself waking up to someone knocking on his door. His eyes felt puffy and his face felt dry as he rubbed his eyes and sat up. Not once had he forgotten what happened. Part of him didn’t want to open the door because what if it was Y/n? At the same time, however, it could have been someone else. Looking at the time it was currently 6pm, around dinner, had he really slept for three hours?

Another knock sounded at the door, and he got out of bed. Dragging himself over to the door, he unlocked it and opened it abruptly, wanting to just figure out what the person wanted so he could go back to sleep.

Of course, of all the people it could have been, it was Y/n at his door.

“Hey dinner’s done are you- hey what’s wrong?” They asked, worried. He didn’t say anything and just stared at them blankly, “Shouto?” They questioned when he didn’t respond, but so many feelings were swirling around in him. His mind racing as he stared into those eyes he loved so much.

“Shouto-” “I love you.” He blurted and both of them froze. He slapped his hand over his mouth as he realized what he said. They stared at him with wide eyes, not saying a word.

He went to shut his door again, but they stopped him, “Wait.” They said, not letting him shut the door. He stopped, but didn’t look at them.

“Shouto please look at me.” They pleaded, and he did after a few seconds, “I love you too.” They said and he froze again, “You’re dating Shinsou.” He stated bluntly, removing his hand from his mouth, and they nodded, “Yeah, I know, and I talked to him about it this morning. I love both of you. Very much, and I can’t bear losing either of you. So I talked to him, and he said as long as you’re okay with it then I could be with you too. He said if I were to be with anyone else, he’d rather it be you anyway, he trusts you as much as I do.” They explained gently, stepping into his room cautiously before shutting the door.

He took a minute to process what they said. They love him? And want to be with him? He felt those butterflies again just thinking about it.

“Well? Would you be willing?” They asked, nervous. He looked at them for a brief second before nodding causing them to grin, “Come here.” They said, holding their arms out for a hug which he gladly fell into, pulling them as close to him as possible and hugging them tightly causing them to laugh as they peppered the side of his face with kisses.

“Can I kiss you?” He mumbled, his face buried in their shoulder, “Of course you can.” They said, and he pulled back slightly, cupping their face gently before pressing his lips to theirs. He felt his left side start to heat up and had to pull away much sooner than he would have liked to so he didn’t burn them which only made them laugh a bit before kissing his cheek.

“Come on, dinner’s been done for a while and Hitoshi always refuses to eat without me, we don’t want him getting too hungry or he gets rather dramatic.” They said and he smiled as they grabbed his hand and tugged him along out of the room.

Arriving downstairs, they both grab their food from the kitchen before joining the others. Shinsou looked over at them, “It’s about time, I thought I was gonna have to go up there and drag both of you down here.” He said with a lazy smirk, “Hush.” Y/n said, grabbing a pillow and smacking him with it before sitting down next to him, Todoroki sitting on their right. Shinsou eyed him for a second, “Did you tell him?” He asked and they smiled, “Perhaps.” They said, leaning into Todoroki’s side, “Finally.” Shinsou said, jokingly rolling his eyes causing Y/n to smack him with the pillow again.

“They’re so cute.” Mina said, watching the three of them, “Yeah...you owe me twenty bucks.” Jirou said, causing Mina to groan as Momo and Uraraka giggled.

[ignitification]

Two Sides of the Same Coin.

So, I actually hinted at this in my Yoichi Shigaraki's post - but as I found myself thinking about it, it becomes even more clear that the parallels between Deku/Bakugou and Yoichi/2nd User are way too many to be ignored (and that at the same time, they can be applied to Deku and Shigaraki).

Now, I'd have to consider in this post that the 1st and 2nd movie are, if not canon, an alternative universe which directly links back to the main story (as we saw with the Compression Gauntlet made by Melissa in the 1st movie, and which Izuku sports in Ch. 309).

But at the same time, I am not going to mention of some implication which might be related to this post entailed the possibility of Heroes Rising and Bakugou or one of his ancestors being an OfA user because of two reasons: I. because I am not a fan of the theory and II. because as things stand now, it has little to no relevance for the post.

Now, onto the main part: if we think about it, it makes absolutely sense that a foreshadowing of the relationship between Izuku and one or both of his counterparts is shown through the Vestiges of OfA. As I already wrote in the past (and I am particularly referring to this post), the Vestiges are somehow an enclosed space where Izuku is free to explore the Consciousness of his own Quirk. At the same time, it allows him to have insight in himself and occasionally others from within the same environment. Point in case, this happens with Shigaraki - when after touching him through AfO's Quirks's wires, Shigaraki (possessed by AfO, that is) enters the Vestiges.

This narrates of the fact that, mostly - appearances are not everything. I guess, this is also why the Vestiges look like a piece of crumbled building; not only because they managed to fully shape after the power evolved - which means through Toshinori towards Izuku - but also that the Vestiges are a kind metaphor for the people inhabiting the Vestiges. If the Vestiges are a shared consciousness formed due to the embers of an identity left in it and embed with a personality before being passed, it means that there is a sort of personalisation of OfA. Well, that should have been clear when Horikoshi made Izuku develop Shoot Style, and manifest OfA in different ways from All Might - freeing Izuku form the shackles that is his admiration for the hero. But most importantly it also means that this personalisation comes from within, while the power and that is, the core and the shared value of these people, stays fundamentally the same. Which is then represented by the Vestiges. But, the fact that this Quirk Personalization makes its way through the cracks on a shared identity, is evident in the fact that every user if free to decide whether to acknowledge the other (and foremost Izuku) and what to think of the situation. As the 2nd User speaks, he is still not entirely convinced that Izuku's is the way to go (I wonder, whether the fact that Izuku cannot properly speak also depends on the fact that User 2 and 3 haven't fully accepted Izuku yet).

This brings us forward to the notion of Hero, of Saving and the 'Room'. As it is clear by the panels above, 2nd User and Izuku play the role of Saviours, offering a help which is thought maybe not needed, but it is offered all the same. It is also at the beginning of a life-long journey, even if Izuku and Bakugou's comes way much after. Yoichi considers 2nd his hero, and the initiator of the story. Bakugou considers Izuku not his hero, but at the same time - Izuku, time after time, 'saves' Bakugou and offers him a hand to get out of the room full of himself in which society closed him in. But, these consideration, in my opinion, fit more the Shigaraki and Izuku storyline.

First of all, notwithstanding everything, Shigaraki is the main 'antagonist' of the story. He's the leader of the LOV, and while not the brain of the operation, he is still the one who puts in practice. He is the one actually influenced by AfO. He is the one, again, to be closed off from the world by AfO. Same as for Yoichi - as a form of absolute control. AfO encloses in a definite space, both mentally and physically Yoichi and Tomura both. He wants from them to be dependent of him. Wants them to be grateful to him for what he has done. Because he is the one who saved them, who gave them the necessary power and helped them survive in this world. It is not a case, that looking-wise Yoichi and Tomura are so similar, especially after the 'Hibernation' Tomura went through. And this scenario also brings to mind the way Shigaraki's body gets hijacked by AfO's consciousness, and Shigaraki tries to fight it - but instead, he is put to 'sleep' and rest, as to recover - because of the amount of energy used during the battle against the heroes.

As for the Hero part played by the 2nd User in the original scenario, Izuku is the one most likely to represent it in the upcoming occasions. Lately, there has been a lot of speculations about Izuku saving or not Shigaraki (the whole Vestige talk is after all, about Shigaraki and Izuku), but in the end, as said countless times: the set up talks clearly. Izuku is dead set on offering the tentative hand to Tomura, because in the Vestiges he saw that Shigaraki Tomura is nothing else than an identity created by AfO out of spite, hatred and manipulation. It's a mask, which Tomura executes as its best capabilities.

And if Izuku, who is the one who actually puts the seed of ‘But after all, maybe, there IS something to save, if you can understand what made villains the way the are’ is, despite the double expressed by Ni-sama, the hero of this scenario - on a very evident side that Shigaraki, or rather, Shimura Tenko, is the one who embodies the concept of Salvation and Destruction (Restoration), that is at the core of the entire manga series (and of course, of the ideology brought forward by the OfA users). Izuku Midoriya is, after all, walking the same steps of the 2nd user: going to save someone tossed aside and in AfO’s control, giving birth to a new stage of society and consequently reality. It’s a change in tide. The beginning of something new, and the end of something long overdue. It’s the beginning of a new, reformed society which does not see murder as a way of salvation, but rather understands that Heroes can show and bring forward another way, while working on themselves and working to save the villains. And it’s, at the same time, the End of an era holding Heroes in the highest regard, and glorifying power and strength (All Might’s Quirk. Endeavour, even the criteria of the UA entrance tests). An Era which held All Might accountable for everyone else, too - and made him bear the burden. An Era which made society lazy and uninvolved with the villains and the ugly side of themselves (which I already explored in this take). As Yoichi puts it, it’s thanks to him that the OfA’s story begins - and it may be because of Izuku that it ends, as it will fulfil its greatest mission: to free the world from AfO and to save Shigaraki Tomura.

This is why, the parallels between becoming a hero, and offering a hand to someone who probably never even consider the possibility of needing it, is a foreshadowing for what is likely to go down between Izuku and Tomura.

But as always, parallels, even when everything, still might be just a perception of the real situation. A perception of a situation which is where different, also similar because, as we all know - history is a fickle thing and it has a terrible habit of always repeating itself.

[hlizr50]

Update: The Raven and the Songbird

Chapter 4

Gwyn is coping. Merrill is the worst. Az is... Az.

Read on AO3

Gwyn rubbed her eyes, the book spines blurring in front of her. It didn’t help that she’d been banished to one of the lower levels, where the dark creeped between the stacks and threatened to follow her. It also didn’t help that she had barely slept the night before. And that she’d come to the library straight from training.

It had been six days since she’d woken up bleary-eyed after Azriel had left her in the rain. And, as she’d thought, things were better. She had thrown herself into training and work, but she felt good about how she was managing.

She was tired.

But she could deal with that.

Merrill, of course, had sunk her claws into Gwyn’s wounds almost immediately, but she knew how to handle the haughty, hateful priestess. The first few days had been rough, but she sang to herself through the extra hours she spent in the library and let the melodies accompany her as she shelved and retrieved the tomes Merrill had demanded.

Azriel had even returned to training, which was oddly comforting despite this new distance between them. It was almost normal again – Cassian with the advanced females and Azriel with the novices. Neither of them lingered after like they used to, but she couldn’t help stealing a glance or two in his direction.

She would have to work on that.

With the last book shelved and her cart filled with new volumes for the white-haired priestess, Gwyn began the trek back up the ramp. She tried not to think about what Merrill would say when she found out that Gwyn couldn’t locate one of the tomes on the shelves. She’d looked at every pile left on a table or desk but couldn’t locate it. If she hadn’t already taken too long she would have started inquiring with every priestess she could find –

“Where is that miserable girl?”

The freckles on Gwyn’s nose bunched as she scowled, Merrill’s screech echoing over the ramps. She inhaled deeply and breathed out her sigh, steeling herself for the encounter.

“I’m on my way, sister!” Her legs burned with the extra effort it took to push the cart laden with leather-bound parchment. With her extra time in the library – to help her minimize the time when she was idle and alone – her body was still adjusting to the additional walking, pushing, and lifting.

Library work really was good conditioning.

Merrill was no longer at the rail when she reached level four so Gwyn pushed the cart through the stacks and down the hall to the sister’s office. Papers and books were strewn about, and the copper-haired priestess wondered how she could possibly keep everything straight. Of course, she’d had Gwyn to help – that was how.

“I hope you found the time between frolicking and singing to do what I asked of you?”

“Merrill, I was fully focused on your task,” she searched for a way to satisfy the female. “The work just makes me so happy I can’t help but sing.” Gwyn pasted a bright smile on her face as she lugged a stack into the office, searching for any clear surface that might hold them.

“Foolish Gwyneth,” Merrill hissed, not deigning to look at her. “Have you ever thought that some of the females here don’t want your songs thrust upon them? Have you ever thought about how they might feel seeing you so joyous when they cannot be?”

The younger priestess stilled, arms growing heavy with the weight of the tomes in her grasp. She hadn’t considered that, ever. The library was a place of sanctuary and healing, and she had been experiencing those things. She had never noticed if any of the other sisters were affected by it. Surely Clotho would have mentioned something to her if there had been complaints.

“Selfish, wretched girl.”

Gwyn sighed and set the books down as gently as she could on the corner of a small end table.

“I couldn’t find the third volume of The Continent. One of the other priestesses must have it. But I’m going to inquire with them now.” She turned to leave, hoping she could make it before the wintry female could toss more vitriol at her.

“Pathetic, Gwyneth. To prance around happy and content when you can’t even perform your basic duties. When you play at being strong and brave yet can’t manage to leave the library. You should learn that you are not special. You are utterly plain and ordinary and you should behave as such.” Gwyn kept walking although her shoulders sagged. She knew she wasn’t special – had never thought herself better than anyone else. But she also knew she wasn’t ordinary. She had been training in combat for more than a year. She counted some of the most powerful fae in Prythian among her friends. She had won the Illyrian Blood Rite.

But Merrill, of course – the cunning white witch – had snagged a claw in one of her buried insecurities and dangled it before her, as if it were on display for all to see. Gwyn still wasn’t comfortable with venturing into the city, for all of her growth and accomplishments. She walked proudly most days with a smile pulling at her lips, secure in her body and strength and heart. But somehow Merrill always knew what to say, where to push and prod. She had joked with Nesta that she must be daemati and would just gaze into Gwyn’s mind as if it were her own.

Nesta had just said she was a bitchy old crone stuck in a fae body, doomed to live for a near-eternity, and she was just bitter about being alive for so long.

The priestess grinned to herself as she went in search of… well, anyone. She pictured the list of females that she would have to check off, one by one, to ensure she found the missing volume. She was nimbly navigating the stacks when a familiar voice reached her.

“Gwyn! Somehow I knew I’d find you still here.” Gwyn paused and turned toward Nesta’s call, smiling wide at her Valkyrie sister. She noticed how the eldest Archeron had started wearing her hair down and smiling easily, and Gwyn felt her heart swell to see happiness reflected in those once-frigid eyes.

“Nesta,” she sighed as they met for an embrace. “What brings you down here at this hour?”

“Well you weren’t in your room,” Nesta fixed her with a pointed look before echoing, “at this hour. You’ve been working a lot.” Not an assessment, nor an observation. Just a statement to the priestess, a signal that she was onto her.

Gwyn flashed the most convincing serene smile she could muster and beckoned for her friend to walk with her. If Merrill caught her dilly-dallying she was as good as dead. “Merrill has been very demanding lately. Spending more time here helps me accomplish more and helps me make sure she gets what she needs.” She avoided Nesta’s skeptical reaction, knowing full well the look in those eyes would burn right through her defenses.

“So… you’re working yourself to exhaustion to appease that witch?”

Gwyn couldn’t very well admit that she needed to stay occupied, or that her exhaustion wasn’t just because of long working hours.

“You know how much I value her research, Nesta. It’s worth a little extra effort.” The two warriors continued to wander through the stacks, Gwyn making sure to eyeball every stray pile of books in search of volume three of The Continent.

“Well, tomorrow night you’re taking off,” Nesta mused, breaking the companionable silence. The young priestess halted, mouth opening to argue. “You’re spending the night with Emerie and me.”

“Nesta –“

“No, Gwyn. You’ve been working constantly, barely talking to us after training. We miss you.” She gave Gwyn the most un-Nesta-like face, pouting her lower lip and widening those ice-gray eyes. “Pretty please, Gwynnie?”

“Oh you know I hate when you call me that,” Gwyn huffed. But her nose crinkled with her grin as she reached up and pinched her friend’s cheek. “How could I say no to that face, though?” The Valkyries giggled together and Nesta leaned in to kiss her sister’s cheek.

“Perfect. Six o’clock, the House library. We’ll have dinner and dessert and books and Mother knows what else.” Gwyn smiled as Nesta gave her a look. “Don’t work too late, Gwyn. You’re tired. I can tell.”

“Oh, quit worrying you busybody,” she shooed Nesta away as she stuck out her tongue. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

~~~

Azriel paced around the group of novices, shrewdly observing footwork, weight distribution, and body position as they moved through their stretching and grounding exercises. Despite his neutral expression he was relatively impressed. It wasn’t like him to offer praise in the training ring – that was more Cassian’s and Gwyn’s nature – but he could acknowledge consistent improvement he was seeing.

“Alright, take a break,” he let his voice rise into the summer afternoon. “Get some water. We’ll start working core in a few minutes.” The shadowsinger quirked his lip as he ignored their groans and strode over to the other side of the training ring, where his shadows had been pulling him. They had been particularly insistent since he returned to training, eager to be nearer to a certain priestess after so long apart. Cassian stood, arms crossed, observing the sparring matches between the advance females. Gwyn and Nesta were a blur of punches, feints, and footwork as Azriel stopped next to the general.

“Berdara is sluggish. Watch,” Cassian muttered, and Az forced his gaze toward that ribbon-tied hair shining like copper in the sun. Even with her face red with exertion he could see the bruise-like circles under her eyes and the tightness in her features. Her breathing was ragged, shoulders slouched, weight too far on her heels.

“She’s dropped her left elbow every time she side-steps. She’s lucky Nesta hasn’t targeted that shoulder.” Azriel tried to sound like the seasoned teacher and watchful warrior, not belying the concern blooming within him.

“She’s lucky she’s talented enough with hand-to-hand. If they had weapons I would sideline her,” the general growled, frustrated. “It’s not safe for her to fight in that condition.” As soon as he said it Nesta’s foot connected with Gwyn’s shoulder. She swiped the priestess’ feet out from under her as she staggered and she fell with a resounding thud on her back. Azriel winced as he tried to control his twirling shadows – they wanted to go to her, to make sure she was okay. It was an effort not to give in to them.

“Water, you two!” Cassian called over as Nesta and Emerie pulled Gwyn to her feet. The spymaster’s eyes narrowed as he watched her. She bent over, hands braced on her knees, panting. Likely that fall had knocked the wind out of her. He looked up in time to see Nesta approaching, water in hand.

“Well fought, Archeron.” Azriel dipped his chin, acknowledging her effort.

“No. I’m not going to claim that victory.” She shook her head before looking to her mate. “She’s not herself.”

The shadowsinger bristled and his shadows seemed to twitch around him.

“What’s going on with her, then?” Cassian asked.

“I’m not sure. I know she’s working double shifts in the library. I’m not sure how she’s sleeping but she seems tired.” Nesta looked between the two Illyrians. “Even if she’s sleeping fine, spending extra time getting berated by Merrill can’t be healthy.”

Azriel grimaced. The priestess – Merrill – had a reputation, to be sure. And to hear that Gwyn was putting herself under so much stress was alarming. He glanced back across the ring and studied her. No laughter, no shining smile.

“I’ve staged an intervention for tonight. She’s spending the night here with me and Emerie.” Azriel felt Nesta’s eyes on him as she spoke. “We’ll get to the bottom of it.” When he dared to glance to the side he found them both with shrewd stares centered on him.

“What?” He knew his attempt at nonchalance was pitiful.

“Nothing to offer, Azriel? No thoughts you’d like to share?” Nesta raised her brow to challenge him. Azriel held his mask firmly in place, stoic and cold. But his chest was a chasm, guilt rushing in like a waterfall. He knew… he knew the changes they were seeing were because of him. He turned unseeing eyes across the ring, struggling to find a place to focus. But that copper-spun hair shining in the heat of the afternoon grounded him, a tether to reality. He couldn’t get the sound of her crying out of his head as he took in her wan features and sagging posture. Smoky tendrils settled over his shoulders in resignation.

He had been a fool. A coward.

He had been wrong to walk away.

Azriel turned from Cassian and his mate without a word, ignoring the questioning gazes and the racing thoughts. Instead he slipped into that quiet, observant, demanding presence with the females under his charge.

“Alright, ladies. You’ve had long enough. Time for core.”

He didn’t even grin like he usually did when they begrudgingly obeyed, his mind too full and his soul too empty.

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[oswinsdolma]

Proving all the Knights of the Round Table have magic part 3: Elyan

I've seen quite a few people headcanon Elyan with magic before, and it's definitely one of the more popular magic!knights hcs, so I apologise if I accidentally hijack anyone else's points xx

The most obvious indicator of this is the fact that Elyan leaves Camelot a year before Merlin arrives. This is about the same age Morgana's magic shows itself, so it would be natural to assume he left because he began showing signs of being a warlock, Camelot's laws being what they are.

It is also implied that Elyan left fairly abruptly, with Gwen having no idea where he went. He may have left in a hurry because somebody might have noticed him, and not told Gwen or Tom for fear of putting them in danger.

Perhaps in a darker note, he didn't say where he was going because he was ashamed of his magic and didn't think his family would accept him.

Gwen says that "[Elyan] always seems to be in the wrong place at the wrong time". Maybe accidents happen around him because he had trouble controlling his magic and found it increasingly difficult to cover for. This could be another indicator as to why he left.

Elyan didn't return to Camelot even for his father's funeral, and while he expresses his guilt, he doesn't give sufficient reason why: the reason? He may not be able to tell Gwen because he was still scared to return with magic.

When Gwen reveals her relationship with Arthur, Elyan is skeptical, and maybe even a little panicked. After all, would your sister falling in love with someone with the power to set you ablaze not be a terrifying concept to anyone with magic? But when Arthur comes to rescue them and proves himself to be slightly less of a prat than he may think, he tentatively agrees to return home, though I suspect this is mainly for Gwen's sake.

When the immortal army invades Camelot, Elyan manages to stay hidden and fight off some soldiers. Note that he is the only one of the group within Camelot with no Knights' training, which begs the question: how did he manage to escape? The answer could very well lie with magic.

Again, in The Darkest Hour, he is one of two knights that survived the meeting with Morgana. He is one of the more inexperienced knights as well, which suggests that he may have aided himself magically in the fight.

When faced with a seemingly unbeatable threat, Elyan says to Arthur: "tomorrow, we fight in your name, sure. For freedom and justice in this land." Now there is a lot to unpack here, but if we break it down, firstly there is the fact that Elyan places is emphasis on "your" when addressing Arthur. He has previously made a statement about the Pendragon crest, but in this moment, it seems that he cares more about Arthur than this. This is clearly indicative of the fierce bond between Arthur and the core knights, but it could be more than that: the emphasis of "your" is specific to Arthur, but perhaps more importantly, it is an exclusion of Uther. In his time, Arthur has made mistakes, but he has generally been more sympathetic towards magic than his father, and this may be Elyan's subtle way of acknowledging that.

In addition, the words: "for freedom and justice in this land" could just be in reference for Arthur's abilities as king, but this is a deep speech and one would assume it has a deeper meaning. Freedom and justice are two things that have not been afforded to those with magic for a long time. Uther's twisted "justice" involved executing anyone who disagreed with him and anyone who could be vaguely affiliated with sorcery. As for freedom, Arthur has created a fairer kingdom than his father, but magic users still live in fear. Combined with the earlier stress of "your", this is indicative that Elyan too believes that Arthur may one day come to bring peace to anyone who is born with magic.

This last point also has the implications that Elyan knows of the Once and Future King and surrounding prophecies. Though he is described as a troublemaker by Gwen before he comes to Camelot, he keeps his head relatively low upon arrival. Perhaps in the time he spent travelling, he sought help from magical communities, e.g. the druids, who helped him control his powers. This would also explain his vagueness about his whereabouts and lack of contact during the years he was missing.

I could go on about this quote but we'll leave it there for now.

Before he is overtaken by the power of the Lamia, Elyan is vocal in standing up for Merlin. This could be because he knows what it is like to be shunned by society. Magic could be a reason for that. (Also I fully believe that the only reason the Lamia didn't try and take over Merlin was because she was scared of the extent of his magic, not just because he had magic.)(and the merthur reasons when I'm in the mood)

Then Elyan falls sick, before the others begin to show symptoms. Maybe the Lamia sensed some magic and decided he was more trouble than he was worth.

Elyan was not raised by druids, and does not have the same powers as Merlin so wouldn't have sensed the power of the shrine, at least not too strongly. When he first sees the spirit though, he is genuinely sympathetic, even before the murderous intent takes hold.

In the Dark Tower, Elyan is consumed by his need to find Gwen, convinced that he is to blame for her capture. This could be survivor's guilt (and to an extent, probably is), but it is equally probable that Elyan believes that he should have used his magic to protect her.

Going off on a slight tangent here, the theme of "I have magic so it must have a purpose" within warlocks/sorcerers in the show is a) not a healthy mindset and b) uncomfortably common. Elyan may have latched onto the idea that he must use his magic to protect Gwen to convince himself to stay in Camelot, and with that conprmino, he began to fall apart. His behaviour is almost identical to Merlin's fervour regarding Arthur at this point, and it's fairly disturbing that these characters adopt this mindset that is Not Good For Their Mental Heath, Please Get Some Therapy.

Elyan dies. It's heartbreaking, and he does so trying to save his sister. But what is interesting is his funeral. When most main characters die, they are given a funeral in Camelot, e.g. Uther, Lancelot (the first time). But then Freya and Shade!Lanceot (and later Arthur) are set to rest in the Lake of Avalon. The difference between the two is that the lake funerals were arranged by Merlin, and those laid to rest there can somehow be affiliated with magic.

Now I'm not saying that Merlin knew about Elyan's magic, because sometimes he can be really not very perceptive about that (though it's always fun when fics cheerily toss that out the window because it's fun goddamnit-), but I don't believe he was entirely oblivious. Think about it: there are two of Arthur's closest friends canonically hiding magic from him and it's fairly probable that they'll pick up on Elyan's magic at some point. Even if it's just little things like his sympathies with magic or gentle arguments about the way mages are treated. There are so many avenues to explore with this it's overwhelming-

I also think Elyan may have picked up on Merlin's magic later in the series: the point of realisation was probably when Merlin rescued him during his time being possessed by the drowned druid boy, upon which he says: "you know, Merlin, you're much braver than you look." This is the first time Merlin has revealed his more BAMF side to Elyan, and in this moment, something unspoken passes between them. If not mutual understanding, it is at least Elyan realising what Merlin does beneath his carefree exterior, and despite the possession, I think he acquires a lot of new respect for his friend.

(also are we going to ignore that the lake funeral implies that it was arranged by Merlin. How close were they and what stuff did we miss out on behind the scenes for him to be trusted with this?? I need to know)

Elyan and Mordred have a friendship in series 5. If the earlier headcanon about Elyan learning to control his magic with druids is true, perhaps he may have recognised Mordred from his time there. They probably didn't acknowledge it much, but it created a bond between them.

And now for the mythological context!!

Of all the Knights of the Round Table, Elyan's backstory is perhaps the most estranged from the original legend (of course all of them are fairly disconnected *flashbacks to pope-gwaine* but Elyan's is w a c k y)

As a consequence, there is little to draw on for behind-the-scenes evidence of magic.

Elyan, or Helayn, was another Knight whose origins stem from France (the Vulgate Cycle, I think, though he could have surfaced earlier). He is said to have joined Lancelot in exile after his affair of 'courtly love' with Guinevere (go and look up this concept- it gets convoluted in the myths but is really interesting in terms of both origin and content). Anyway, his exile here could represent the time he spent out of Camelot before his appearance in s3, and relates to hiding from harsh laws, particularly if we regard Lancelot and Guinevere's relationship in the same way as we do in the Vulgate Cycle (basically keep the context with the appropriate work and it sort of makes sense)

I appreciate this seems a little like grasping at straws but that's literature I suppose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In the legends, Elyan is nephew to another of Arthur's knights, Sir Sagramore. This knight is less famous than some, but at one point, he embarks on a quest to find the fay. The fay are closely linked with the she, and perhaps also live on Avalon, somewhere mortals are only supposed to see moments before death. Perhaps Elyan can be associated with this magic?

In reality, there is little written of Elyan and no prose or poetry dedicated to him so it's quite hard to find stuff about him.

Also legend!Elyan is heir to the throne of Constantinople, which just goes to prove how widespread and deeply convoluted the mythos is.

[jaeminzie]

ignorance is bliss | h.rj

↳ huang renjun x gender neutral!reader

synopsis: staying true to the courageous gryffindor persona, you secretly admire renjun using unusual tactics, forgetting that the fellow ravenclaw is fairly quick witted.

genre: fluff

word count: 2,339

part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series

huang renjun, the ravenclaw wallflower who you’ve been stalking according to your best friends. indeed, it is odd to stay in the library until ungodly hours solely for the breathtaking view from a few tables in front of the prettiest boy you’ve ever seen. though every view and every angle of huang renjun is breathtaking, it doesn’t take much work when you look like that. being as stubborn as ever, you would never admit to stalking the poor boy. you believed that that was an exaggeration, that your friends don’t understand how it feels to be so blinded by him and you are utterly confused on how they aren’t blinded by him. instead, you claim it as a way to get an understanding of the boy’s, who you do plan to interact with sometime in the future, mannerism — which you mentally admit sounds just as creepy as stalking, not helping your case at all.

so there you are, sitting alone in a table a bit further than usual from renjun using a book to cover your lower face to avoid any suspicion. not only are you stubborn, you are also unbelievably oblivious. so oblivious, in fact, that you aren’t aware that the boy who you’ve been “observing” has already noticed you staring at him the second week of your trips to the library. in your defense, you visit the library no more than four times a week as you loathed the smell of rotting book paper and dusty wooden furniture. unknowing of the boy’s acknowledgment of you, you continued to admire from a far. loving the way his plump lips pouted naturally while reading, his circular silver glasses sat perfectly on the bridge of his god-shaped nose, how careful his eyes scanned through the pages and the way his fingers absentmindedly tapped on the table as a way to keep himself sane from the amount of studying he chooses to do willingly which appalled you. but once in a while, he’d give himself a break by sketching on his notebook causing all the lines on his forehead and the pout on his lips to disappear. this is your favorite part. seeing him find his peace in drawing made you feel the same sense of warmth and tranquility that you suppose he feels when creating art, completely unaware of a gryffindor staring him down — or so you thought. ignorance really is bliss, or else, you wouldn’t be so shameless right now.

renjun means to speak to you one day as his confusion progresses each time he sees you walk through the ginormous library doors and choose a spot where you both have clear views of one another. when you look away, pretending to read the book in your hands, renjun looks your way with furrowed eyebrows trying to figure out what exactly do you want from him. why you still manage to fail your classes despite spending many hours “studying.” yes, you can say that he observes you as well since your houses share a couple classes with each other. from his observations, he’s learned that you’re quite the helper. renjun wonders how you weren’t sorted in hufflepuff. perhaps, a hufflepuff isn’t bold enough to stare at a stranger in a nearly empty library for many consecutive weeks. though, a gryffindor should have the courage to at least speak a single word to that person, a simple ‘hello’ would be a nice place to start.

it took him some time to admit it, but he found pleasure in staring at you as well. his slytherin friends practically had to force it out of him once they kept noticing that his gaze was almost always set on you since his group sat in the back of your classes, it was easy to admire without being caught unlike your questionable tactics. renjun admires how you keep trying and trying to answer a question correctly even when your raised hand is being blatantly ignored by the professor after getting a handful of questions incorrect. and don’t even get him started when he catches a glimpse of you laughing with your peers, then he can’t keep his eyes of off you. there’s been countless nights of him unintentionally going on about you and your character to his peers relaxing in their ravenclaw common room. at this point, the whole house of ravenclaw has heard your name come out of his mouth at least once.

from your clear view, you notice how focused renjun is with his hands seeming to move themselves while his mind continued to run on you. renjun straightened his back after finishing the last few strokes on his sketch. a sketch of you sitting on top of a table identical to the one you seated at right now with your legs swinging and your red robe nearly hitting the floor, eyes crinkled as your smile that he loves to look at reached up to your ears. his first drawing of you, he was proud of it and was sure it wouldn’t be the last drawing of you he’ll make.

you were taken back when you had noticed renjun was already gathering his belongings. he usually goes back to reading after finishing a drawing, you recalled back to the mental schedule you created in your mind. wow you really are a creep. you thought. too caught up with being offended by your inner self insulting your actions, you were completely unaware of the boy dressed in blue standing next to you.

renjun gaped as he thought you were ignoring him. having enough, he finally spoke, “can i help you?”

freezing in your seat when you heard his smooth voice laced with confusion, refusing to face the boy since you are definitely not prepared for this moment. fixing your posture and clearing your throat, you mustered your left over confidence as you chose to not further embarrass yourself in front huang renjun.

completely changing your body language to a more laid back manner and facing the boy, trying not to evidently show your breath being taken away from seeing him up close. his left eyebrow raised with his lips pursed slightly, fingers fiddling with the books by his side. he looked even better close in front of you, you had previously thought that was impossible. but you were so wrong, making you slightly mad at how perfect he seemed to be.

“nope” popping your ‘p.’ “do you?”

renjun’s facial expressions relaxed slightly. “no, i don’t.”

“why’d you come here then?” you mentally cursed and slapped and pinched and kicked yourself for accidentally not sounding the friendliest, your nervousness acting for you. “you sure you don’t need my help?”

renjun was taken back from your tone, oblivious to your feelings. there’s the gryffindor. they always have to be boasting. renjun huffed at his thoughts. he had not expected your first talk to be like this. your tone lightly hit his pride, so he automatically had to retaliate, “you’re the one to talk. you have an explanation for not being able to keep your eyes off me?” renjun laughed mockingly but not at you, at himself for being such a hypocrite.

defeated, you couldn’t keep up your relaxed attitude, “i. . . i just. . .” the eye contact you both shared was so intense you couldn’t even think straight, and neither could he. “s-sorry for bothering you. i’ll. . . leave you alone.”

before you could stand up from the chair, renjun pulled out the one beside you and sat facing your body. he sighed, “i’m sorry too. that didn’t come out as intended. but i need to know if i’m being too hopeful or not?”

hopeful? you remind yourself to pinch yourself later in case this a dream or some sort of spell. you hoped that your friends didn’t do anything without telling you since they’ve been suggesting that you use a love potion to “make everything easier,” but you profusely refused their incredibly stupid proposition each time they had brought it up to discuss.

“do you need tutoring, is that why?” he continued. his arms sat on his knees.

each and every one of his words entered one ear and went out the other as you wondered on what he was feeling hopeful for. “hopeful?”

his lifted his elbows off his knees and placed them on the table slowly, looking as if he was thinking. “i just thought that maybe you had reasons other than academic ones for coming here when i do.” he spoke very, very slowly that it was torturing. “am i right?”

you hated every second of this for the awful awkward tension, but this is the moment that you’ve been daydreaming of for weeks. though, you were shocked at how renjun noticed you despite trying to be as sneaky as possible — but your friends and renjun would say otherwise. “if i say yes. . .” your eyes wondered around his figure seated in front of you.

“i would be correct then.” he finished the sentence for you, not baring to wait longer. he moved his head towards your gaze on the floor behind him to try and get your eyes to focus on him.

and when you did, you saw the sparkle and hint of joy in his eyes making you feel truly confident. “then yes.”

—

it’s been nearly a month since your first interaction with one another, and renjun never misses a day of making fun of your past actions that you now admit were creepy. though after his friend, lee donghyuck, informed you in his own sneaky actions that you weren’t able to notice before, you have not let him live peacefully. renjun’s friend group was ecstatic when he told them about finally speaking to you and being with you. but renjun’s fully aware that they were more excited over the fact he can finally stop moping over not knowing how to approach you, achieving their peace since he can finally stop talking. though, he has a new topic to gush over — your relationship.

being together side by side and actually conversing with one another allowed renjun to see you in a deeper level, giving him more reasons to appreciate the special being that you are. he loved every second he spent with you. hearing you laugh at something that he had said or done makes renjun feel like he had reached the top of the highest mountain. holding your delicate hands while walking through the hallways made him feel like the most successful man on earth, and he proudly bragged over it. renjun loved how he felt so at ease and encouraged whenever he felt your presence around him. you don’t even need to be right by him to make him feel reassured. your presence alone was enough.

and you especially loved how he still chooses to love all those things despite your questionable actions in the past.

you loved being with him so much that you tolerate being in the library and actually reading beside him, or at least try to read. though, he has to hold your hand in order for you to fully commit yourself into studying with him. but both of you don’t complain.

you sat in a vacant table in the library, but this time, you sat next to the boy who you used to admire from a far. bouncing your leg out of boredom, “can we take a break?” you whispered in his ear.

renjun let out a small breathy laugh. “we just got here.” he whispered back, his gaze not leaving the thick book in front of you both.

your mouth slightly hanged open and you tightened your grip on his hand, “lies.” renjun squeezed your hand back playfully, still not looking at you. “please, jun, we’ve been here for an hour and you need to give yourself a break.”

silence.

you let go of his hand and puffed when he still didn’t spare a glance at you. defeated once again, you slid his notebook toward you and flipped through the pages, trying to entertain yourself by reading his notes. how fun.

widening your eyes in awe when you came across a page that showed a sketch of a person who looked exactly like you, with small hearts and tiny sparkles surrounding the figure sat on a table. your fingers lightly brushed the page, admiring how talented your boyfriend is.

“i drew that the day i came up to you.”

still strucked, you faced him and you were finally met with his beautiful eyes. “i think you need to update it. i look a bit different now.” you suggested with a smile that he cannot let down.

he hummed, “yeah, a tad bit huh?” you nodded eagerly which he laughed at. “i suppose i should work on it right now.” he reached for his notebook and flipped to an empty page, fixing his position so he can get a proper view of your face.

renjun did not hesitate to start drawing. he knew every detail of yours by heart, he honestly could draw a portrait of you relying solely on his memory. renjun has got every line, dot, and scar on your divine profile engraved in his mind since he thinks about you every second, literally. though, he still chooses to look up from his notebook to get a view of your face. not because he had forgotten a detail, but because he can’t refuse an opportunity to admire that face of yours. returning back to sketching with the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen on a person, with his pupils dilated. you definitely didn’t mind going to the library more often if you get to see renjun like this each time. you speak for both of you as renjun seems to be enjoying this moment just as much as you are. renjun’s hand that isn’t occupied reached for yours, with a grip that made it seemed like he’d never let go.