#which uhhhhhhhhhh i would not be happy about that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

silly-lil-scribbles · 5 months ago

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HI ID LIKE YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING :]

so heres a scenario:

person b is best friends with and has liked person a for the Longest Fucking Time and person a knows it, but doesn't feel the same way. person a then dates person c, and person b is fucking devastated so they distract themself by regularly hooking up with person d, who is very hot and is like a bar singer with an amazing ass voice (not exactly relevant but i wanted to mention :P)

only they don't just hook up. they also talk a lot and get to know each other and they really really like each other and they end up falling head over ass in love, only person b is Not aware of their own feelings at first bc theyre not the most emotionally intelligent and also theyve been in love with person a for so long that it doesnt register that they can feel that way about someone else

so theyre not in an official relationship or anything like that

and then person c fucking shatters person a's heart later on by cheating on them with one of their (person a's) other friends and person a is so fucking mad and desperate to make person c hurt like theyre hurting that they decide to date person b (who they know is in love with them despite not returning those feelings in the slightest) to make person c jealous

person b isnt yet aware they dont feel that way about person a anymore (and they probably never did, just felt like really really attached to them bc person a saved them when they tried to kill themself a while ago but thats another thing altogether), so they happily go along with the relationship at first.

but they always find themself seeking out person d to hang out with them because they enjoy their company and find them interesting (which doesnt really happen for them and person a). and person d is not always up for it bc seeing the person they love dating someone else Hurts, but they find it pretty hard to tell person b no.

and then person b also realizes that neither them nor person a is happy in their relationship. and then they realize person a is just using them to hurt person c. somewhere in between all this person b realizes theyve been in love with person d for a While. like a While lol. however, person b has always had an issue with accepting the love they think they deserve, so they don't break things off with person a

instead they drive two plus hours in the middle of the night to see person d/hot singer . bc while person b definitely feels like they dont deserve person d in the slightest, theyre nothing if not selfish as fuck and a whore for love (or at least thats what they think of themself lol).

and they end up talking a little about how they feel about each other and subsequently kissing and having sex but the sex feels a lot more intimate this time than any of the others? more like making love than just having sex. and they both make each other so fucking happy its gross lol (but its also adorable as shit)

person a later finds out about it & talks to person b about how theyre not mad at all bc they were just using person b to hurt person c. and they break up amicably.

soooo bottomline: would you consider what person b did here to be cheating, knowing that person a never felt the same and was only ever using them?

(IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BY THE WAY)

BITCH WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME IDK

uhhhhhhhhhh i. i guess technically its cheating? by definition? and they should have probably told person a before running off to see hot singer, but at least they weren’t upset? technically cheating, but i think it was okay in this concerningly specific situation

again why are you asking me of all people

#/nm #just #curious on why im being asked #scribbles asks

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tecceran · 3 months ago

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when you get this, you can answer with 5 things you like about yourself (if you want to), and then send this ask to 10 of your followers (or as many as you want to, spread positivity, but take care of yourself)

adskahdsjalhskadhsksl this was way harder than it should have been so it took me a while to get to it…

1.) i suppose to start, i have always been happy with my body. i don’t experience much of anything in the way of dysphoria (aside from the constant hairstyle debate) and i have enough natural athleticism that i can move my body weight if need be (i.e. pulling myself up onto/over something) which for whatever reason is something i’ve always been proud of. my ability to scale a mid-sized wall.

2.) i also like, or at least appreciate that i absorb and retain information quite well. while my actual work ethic may not be great, i am able to do pretty well in academics just from info sticking with me pretty well. i think i learn stuff well in general.

3.) i have been pretty happy with my art lately, or at least i’ve felt a lot more like it’s worthy of been posted and seen by others. i have so many ideas, and i want to draw more often.

4.) i guess i like that i can take charge and overcome my shyness/social anxiety when someone else doesn’t want to. i guess the older sibling instinct outweighs the people are scary instinct. pretty sure the people in my group for the freshman seminar presentation loved me because i would—for whatever reason—just run my mouth until whoever came to see our project left.

5.) i guess it’s not really about me, but i’m really glad that i’ve been able to have so many great people around me. sure, my little brother is going thru his teenage asshole years, but we have each other’s backs when we’re out. not to mention all my close friends have been such wonderfully kind, talented, and inspiring people and we’ve stuck together with minimal drama for a while. for that i’m certainly grateful.

uhhhh uhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhhh i got all serious and rambly uhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh MY DOG BE UPON YE

#thank you fish <3 teehee :3c #tech.answering #tech.speaking #fish.creating #i don’t usually even do these but i know it is a good exercise #even tho it feels like bragging #repeating in my head that it’s about self care and self love #fighting…the rsd…..#i’m so embarrassing adskajdkaskaldjhg

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maxdurden · 2 years ago

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gimme uhhhhh fuckin UHHHHHHHHHH 23 (strange habits), 29 (best way to bond), 58 (four talents you're proud of having), 66 (fave flower(s), 88 (greatest wish), and 98 (favorite historical era)!!!! :3

23: i'm so used to my own idiosyncrasies that identifying strange habits is hard lmao. i make a lot of weird noises!! i try to keep it to myself but if i get excited or whatever i'll like,,, make this grinding noise??? and i have a lot of weird little phrases that will get stuck in my head, or that i just physically have to say out loud in certain situations! (honestly face masks have been a life saver as far as this is concerned because now i can just mutter "oh dick" or some random german sentence under my breath after fucking something up and no one has to know!!!!)

29: oooh!! i think i'm exceptionally easy to bond with lmao. just,,, talking about blorbos and stuff (either having someone tell me about theirs or letting me yell about mine for a while), also talking about/sharing music!! and activity-wise i don't think there's anything better for the social animal in me than playing video games with people. whether that's jack box with a big group, or stardew, or just co-gaming and playing separate games while hanging out i think there's nothing better for the soul tbh

58: four??? yeesh uhhh idk if i would call it a talent, but i very much enjoy writing and i think that's neat. oh! i think i'm pretty good at socializing (in that like,, it's a thing that takes a lot of brain power and has been a Journey for me and so i'm always happy when i can manage to have a normal and pleasant conversation with someone lmao. also working in customer service it's just something that's really handy at the moment). i like to think i'm fairly emotionally intelligent lol? idk if that counts as a talent either. boy i sure do like to think i can be funny sometimes so that'll be my fourth one lmao

66: i think my favorite flower is probably lilies of the valley! there was this bush outside of my childhood home inside of which my siblings and i created a little hideout and the path was surrounded on both sides with lilies of the valley. also magnolia flowers! partially because of gang of youths and partially because there have been magnolia trees in a few cool places throughout my life and they've left a good impression

88: greatest wish is intense ough,,, i think just to feel fulfilled and feel supported/surrounded by a good community! i'm at the point in my life where i'm just striving for stability and a lil comfort ig lol

98: this is hard because i don't think i have favorite eras as much as i have favorite little pockets. it could easily be argued that bronze age greece should be up there, for sure, but i think i'm mostly interested in the fantastical/mythological elements of it. i really like pirates! but i'm not necessarily a fan of the early 1700s in general lol. i also saw you said you like the victorian period and i have to agree!! cowboys and gothic vibes in one time period?? impeccable vibes, and spiritualisms popularity during this time period has always been something that's fascinated me! mostly i just like bits of history that remind me that humans have always been the same kinda goofy guys, i think it's neat

#a very good ask from a very very good mutual #some of these were legit kind of hard but that was fun lol #thank you for the ask my beloved!!!

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webbedphantom · 9 months ago

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Valentine’s Day Application

Name: Okumura Haru.

Age: 18.

Do you like to cuddle?: I've been hugged before, so yes. If you're cold, I'd be happy to provide some warmth for us.

Can we make-out?: Not... yet. Sorry.

A night in or dinner out?: Both sound ideal, but perhaps dinner out would be best for such an occasion?

Whip cream or chocolate syrup?: Hm... chocolate syrup is delicious! I, um, hope you like it as well, Aaron-kun.

Chocolates and roses?: Oh, yes. Only the best for you.

What makes you a good Valentine?: I am your friend and the future CEO of Okumura Foods. I make good coffee and know a lot about gardening as well, which I have no doubt that you enjoy watching me do!

Would you cook for me?: Well... I suppose it never hurts to try. But please don't get mad at me if I mess up more than once... I'm not nearly as skilled as you.

Would you let me cook for you?: Of course! I can't wait to taste any food you make for me!

Where would you take me on a date?: To a restaurant or the movie theater.

Who’s paying?: I am, of course.

What did you get me for Valentine’s Day?: A box of the finest chocolates imported straight from Switzerland, and a handwritten card by myself.

Valentine's Day Applications

He hadn't expected anyone to fill this out. He'd only really posted it on a whim. So getting not only a response, but one from Haru of all people, was a major shock to his system.

He'd always been rather fond of Haru, from her resolve, to her kindness, to how she was always thinking of others well-being, even when she was struggling herself. And as he got to know her better, that fondness developed into a bit of a crush of sorts.

She was always a joy to be around, whether she was gardening, working on her coffee brewing skills, or even just a simple phone call. The first of which gave him more of an appreciation for nature that he'd never really had before.

Despite all this, he tended to push those feelings to the side in most instances. Part of this was because he never imagined in a million years that she could ever feel the same way, but it was also because he felt... unworthy of her. After what happened to her father, something he felt partially responsible for, having her company at all was a luxury he didn't feel he deserved.

Be that as it may, she wanted to spend Valentine's Day with him. And he'd have to be crazy to ever turn that down, guilt or no guilt.

"I-I uhhhhhhhhhh-"

... Accepting it, however, would be a struggle in of itself.

"Y-you- I- um-"

'C'mon Aaron! Get yourself together! This shouldn't be that hard!!'

"I'd... like that."

"A-and don't worry about the making out thing. H-honestly, I should've crossed that one out-"

Why was it even on there in the first place?? He couldn't imagine ever making out on a first date, and if it wasn't your first, why would you even need an application??

"B-but I am definitely looking forward to it! Everything you put down sounds lovely-"

The cuddling part especially brought a bit of warmth to his cheeks, but he was doing his best not to think about that. He'd be even more of a blushing mess if he did.

"-though if I may make a suggestion, perhaps I could make us dinner, and then we could go to the movies? I-I know Valentine's is more about you treating me, but I um... I'd like to do something for you too, if that's alright?"

#fatexbound #Request Received - Accepting;#Adjusting Arachnid - Post P5/R;#MAN I needed this #This has potential to be a really cute date #He's not expecting anything to come from this- he doesn't think she likes him like that- but even still #he's going to make the most of this!!

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milobehindthescenes · 10 months ago

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ope ope January 2024 vibes how we feelin what we doin

Uhhhhhhhhhh

We are currently witnessing two mass genocides going on and it feels like no matter how hard people are fighting to bring an end to it,, there just isn't enough of an impact and it feels Hopeless. And I know that's bad to think and I have to keep raising my voice with everyone else because giving up would truly make shit Hopeless but God it is exhausting and I'm privileged to even be able to set my phone down at the end of the day and not have to deal with that nightmare myself in my daily life.

My relationship has hit a standpoint and I am stuck feeling like everything up until this point has possibly been one big fat lie and I don't even know how to begin communicating that with them. Feels like it's all gonna end painfully one way or another and I wanna just keep sitting here and pretending it's fine because God do I love them. I wanted to have a home with this person. I want to marry this person. But after what happened, I'm questioning everything and at some point I am going to have to ask questions and I'm fucking terrified of those answers. So feels like this good, sweet, warm, happy little thing that I've been holding onto so tight is beginning to crumble out of my hands and I don't know how m gonna handle that in the long run 🤷‍♂️ I really just want to be overthinking this all. I've never wanted so badly to be wrong in my life. Let me be wrong. Fuck. let me be wrong.

Also my past keeps coming back to haunt me and the level in which I basically obsess over the people that hurt me in my childhood is so fucking unhealthy and its!! Embarrassing. Just. Embarrassing. Man I should've been over all this by now but it feels like,, every time I fall and scrape my knees, like metaphorically, the wolves (my past, lol, v original I know) get a whiff of blood and come running and I just start spiraling all over again. Every time I think I'm finally breaking the cycle something brings me back and it's hard not to feel defeated over it.

And I'm constantly missing a friend that I haven't talked to in years who at this point, does not know me, and I do not know him, but I am always thinking about what my current life would be like if we were still friends. Which is also embarrasing because i know how obsessive and unhealthy it is. That bridge burnt a long fucking time ago. I'm sorry k 😅

I outgrew all of my clothes and I'm not even going to dive into my body dysmorphia & gender dysphoria because that's more than anyone has the time to read about.but I feel real bad about my physical being right now and it sucks that the only time I felt great about my body was when I was incredibly underweight for 2 years 😅 that's definitely something I need to work on but that means I have to change up my life style a bit which my current work schedule doesn't allow nearly enough wiggle room for.

Other than that I'm in the profession that I worked (hesistantly) very hard to get into so that's something cool to celebrate.

#vent #It's turning into static but I'm fine #My insides are rotting #Ugh #This is fine

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blingblingsparklesparkle · 1 year ago

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Thanks for tagging me :33

I have exactly 9 fics out so that’s all I’m doing JAJJAJSD

1. your smile, my veins (bullet train)

All Ladybug could focus on was Carver’s glass. Wine doesn’t stick to the glass like that, does it? It’s a little thick too…

“Can I try some of your wine?”

He didn’t mean to say that. “I have an epipen with me. I wanna see if it’s different.”

2. A loveliness of ladybugs (bullet train)

“Okay, first of all, ouch, can’t I just call you to chat?”

“Are you calling me to just chat?”

Ladybug paused for a solid 5 seconds before sighing “Do you know where Carver is? I lost him in this ridiculously big house.”

3. Hellfire (bullet train)

hágase tu voluntad, en la tierra como en el cielo.

He looked around for anything to focus on but visually it was all too much. Everything was calling him. There were too many things to process and so he looked down.

perdona nuestras ofensas, como también nosotros perdonamos a los que nos ofenden

4. The most cunning assassin (bullet train)

He immediately hung up, the words “Nanao didn’t make it” repeating over and over in his head. Ladybug was on that train because Carver put him on it. He’s dead because Carver didn’t want to do one snatch and grab job. The phone rang again.

5. Never the groom (IT)

“Glad you could make it, Trashmouth.”

There was no bite, Richie was his best man. God, that was depressing.

“I canceled a lot of plans for this, Eds, ya better be getting one of your ex’s here to crash this wedding.”

Or me Richie thought, offhandedly. Richie was willing to be a guilty pleasure if it was to be near Eddie for even a second. To be seen by Eddie the way that the movies they watched together as kids had showed.

6. Otis and Jackson bisexual adventures (sex education)

Otis tried to push aside his embarrassment to keep up the banter, “You know when parents throw their babies into pools?”

“No way!”

“Yeah, that’s basically what my dad did.”

Jackson rubbed Otis’s shoulder, laughing way to much at the thought of a 14 year old Otis being thrown into a public pool, “You’re parents are actually insane!”

7. Two dumbasses kiss. That’s it. That’s the fic. (bullet train)

“I mean,” a tell-tale sign Carver was about to pull something out his ass was the way he rubbed the back of his neck “Maria talks about you sometimes, y’know? Just happened to remember.”

“Right, so it has nothing to do with the fact I said I liked sparkling water on our second job working with each other?” Ladybug felt the grin on his face increase as Carvers eyes widened.

Carver started stammering, and by god, if Ladybug wasn’t proud of himself for making that happen. Eventually Carver got out, “Well, a good memory is useful in this line of work!”

8. Any boat you want (bullet train)

Most would assume the bad part was remembering, but Carver would argue that the bad part was the panic attack he got afterwards. Without fail, he fell to the ground, legs suddenly unable to support his weight. Carver pulled at his hair and scratched whatever skin was available to him. It was all too much. He couldn’t handle being in his own body.

9. Local twunk gets a glow up after coming out! (IT)

“Please tell me those are happy tears, Eds.”

Eddie cried harder at that, to which Richie went over to hug him. Fuck what do I do, this is not how I planned this out.

Uhhhhhhhhhh tagging (no pressure) @erischeatsdeath @raiphend @ozym4ndi4s @professionallydeadinside @joe--bro and anyone who wants to join in‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Ten Fics, Share a Line, Ten People

The wonderful @beepbeepsan tagged me in this!

@astrabear tagged me! Thanks bb, what a fun idea!

Rules: Pick any ten of your fics, scroll roughly to the midpoint, pick a line (or three) and share it. Then tag ten people.

Sinc Itur Ad Astra (Good Omens)

A warm, fuzzy feeling spreads through Crowley’s body, from his chest outward. It’s quite hot, but comfortable, like sinking into a bath. Crowley feels Aziraphale wrap an arm around him, and Crowley pulls him even closer.

I wish this moment could last forever, Crowley thinks.

Then, in the middle of the perfect kiss, Crowley notices that the hot feeling in his chest isn’t going away. Instead, it’s just getting hotter and hotter. It’s almost burning - no, it’s definitely burning now. Why is it burning?

2. Finder's Keepers (Sherlock)

“Just… just make it stop,” Sherlock whispered.

“John, Sherlock is asking me to make it stop. Honestly it’s a miracle that he’s still alive, there’s an awful lot of blood here. What if I… put him out of his misery?”

“NO!” John screamed again. “Sherlock, hang on, I think I’m almost there.”

“Well, then, don’t want you to crash our party, do we?” the man snarled, pointing the gun at Sherlock’s head. “Any last words, pretty boy?”

All Sherlock could do was groan.

“All right then. Bye bye!”

BANG.

3. Blood in the Water (Sherlock)

“Sherlock.” John’s hand moved to his wrist and gripped it like a vice. “You- you have to pr- promise me.”

Blood dribbled out of his mouth. There was blood everywhere . It covered the floor, it covered their clothes, it covered his hands, some of it was dripping into the pool. Again, Sherlock’s mind held only one thought: Save John. Save John. Save John. Over and over like a mantra.

“Shut up,” Sherlock spluttered out. So much blood. “Save your energy, please. I can’t lose you!”

“Promise me you’ll catch the fucker.” His voice was like iron. Iron as blood.

“I promise,” Sherlock whispered.

4. What if Cas died how Sam died in S2? (Supernatural)

But Castiel didn’t move, Dean couldn’t feel a pulse beneath the hand on his neck.

“CAS!” Dean screamed, clutching his best friend tight, sobbing.

He looked at the pool of blood on the ground, soaking the dirt and- and as Cas’s hand lost warmth, the silver ring on his hand was soaked in red.

5. "Can you hear me?" w/ Clint and Natasha (Marvel / The Avengers)

“Let’s keep this between us, then, shall we?”

He brought the flat of the blade under Clint’s chin. He gently pushed it up, forcing Clint to look him in the eyes. He smirked, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh, you’ll be so much fun.”

6. Made to Watch w/ Fitzsimmons (Agents of Shield)

She took out the knife and cut away his shirt. Then, she placed the tip of the knife into his skin. Fitz shakily inhaled and held his breath.

The woman began to carve.

At first, Fitz bit his tongue, but within seconds, he was screaming. Simmons was sobbing, sitting on the floor. The woman only grinned and kept dragging the knife through Fitz’s skin. Blood flowed from the wounds in huge waves, puddling around them. Fitz trembled and screamed and wailed. And yet he let it continue.

7. Secrets Revealed w/ Ward and Skye (Agents of Shield)

Skye was on the ground. She couldn’t breathe well. Her hands were sticky. Why were her hands wet?

There was a gun in her hands. She needed to fire it.

Fire. Click. Click. Nothing. Laughing. Someone was laughing. Why was someone laughing?

“Goodbye, Skye,” a voice said.

8. Muzzled w/ May and Daisy (Agents of Shield)

“Who’s that for?” Daisy snarked from where she sat, sitting up straighter and blinking rapidly. “Did you get me a present?”

“In a way,” the man said. The two guards hefted her up by her armpits and placed her in the middle of the room. The man sat on the ground behind her, and the woman in front of her. “We’re going to have some fun now that we know we have the time.”

May inhaled sharply from across the room.

9. Caged w/ Steve and Bucky (MCU/Avengers)

“Why did you draw me?” a voice said.

Steve jumped and looked up. The Winter Soldier had appeared in front of the cage. He held a plate of bread and cheese.

“Because I knew you,” Steve answered cautiously.

Not-Bucky opened the cage door and stepped in, placing the food on the ground. He leaned against the wall and closed the door with a slam. They were locked in there together

“Tell me what you remember,” Not-Bucky said.

10. Found Footage w/ Peter and the Team (MCU)

He wailed and screamed and pleaded, but nothing deterred them. He yelled for them, for Mr Stark and Natasha and Steve and Clint and Ned and everyone he loved. But none of them arrived.

This is open to anyone who would like to particpate! I'll tag a few people in case they want to, but no pressure at all :)

@whoopsitswhump, @suspicious-whumping-egg, @painsandconfusion, @atlantis-is-burning

#I forgot about my sex education fic JAJJSHDD #I should make another one…….

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yourlocallosernamedgreenookie · 5 years ago

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A new song character!! (Another QotSA one, too!)

Based off of Everybody Knows That You’re Insane, an old favorite of mine!

#my aart!#song character!!#what the heck greenookie #(i keep flip flopping with which version of the title i say... because it's been released under 'You're' and 'You Are' so like....)#(The 'You Are' title was the original one and it was re titled for the single... uhhhhhhhhhh i dunno kinda irrelevant but AH!!)#(I'll also try to come up with a tag for him later cause all I can think of right now is like 'hollow jericho' and im not sure if it's good)#(also! he's got two scars on him! one on the bridge of his nose and one on his left palm! one of them has a story! the other doesnt yet!)#(i'm thinkin on it though!!!!!!! aaaa!!!!!)#i drew him for the first time about 2 weeks ago ooh.....#(and by that i mean august 28th! yeah yeah!!)#FUN FACT soon after i doodled him i started figuring out how he would fit in with everyone else!#he is more of a loner (kinda by choice kinda due to rumors)#but he's somewhat of an adoptive older brother of Miyako (hence why she's doodled in there in the ref!)#(she just saw him and went :^O!!!!!! then ran up to him and said he's her older brother now and he just?? went along with it???)#(but secretly that worked out because they both thought the other seemed lonely... now they're both not alone anymore! ;v; )#he gets along..... decently well with his fellow qotsa song characters theyre fair acquaintances #(I kinda wanna doodle a thing with them... there's 3 of them now!!!! it's fun!!!!!)#but im happy with how he turned out!!!! i get the feeling he'll be fun to play around with and draw yeah yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! ^v^!!#well!! aaah!! thank you for reading my rambling!!!! im gonna go to sleep now!!!!! but last fun fact! the ref file has over 6 hours on it ;v;#and the main drawing has 2 hours on it i think ;;v;; ho o b o y

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ollie-oxen-free · 7 years ago

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*pokes you* you dead?

god, i wish

#anon #ollie answers shit #i’m assuming this is about my not posting anything #to which i say #‘i have done much that might one day be posted for real’#i mean honestly like #i haven’t been doing a lot of posting bc my laptop is broke?#but i can always borrow one from a friend #or borrow it for use #and i’ve been arting and writing #hm #you know i could actually post some of that bullshit #uhhhhhhhhhH #i guess if y’all really wanna see my shit then??? let me know?????#god tho i feel bad #especially since i might not be finishing some of my ongoing fics #and by that i mean fic because there’s really only one #i could always post the plot in a final chapter....#also anon if i was dead then this would be a happy day #anyways #ollie shut up #ollie has shitty tags #ollie refers to themself in the third person #ollie needs to get their shit together #ollie needs a long term clinical psychologist #ollie needs to stop doing so many illegal drugs #ollie needs to get their fucking life together #ollie needs to do a lot of things #the tags on my posts are wild y’all #we go from shitpost to heavy shit to shitpost in a fucking snap

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mirshroom · 7 years ago

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MY ENTRY GOT SELECTED....... now it’s gonna be translated to Japanese and sent to SHUIESHA Inc to be judged there..... tbh I’m just fine with this because it shows I’m capable of drawing up original comics n stuff TT____TT

#dl #runtime #i was so nervous because i sent it in hours late so i didnt know if they would take i t #now the only thing im worried about is when they select the 5 artists bc idk if it's mandatory-#to go to MONACO (which is like $1000 for transportation for me) to talk to the judges uhhhhhhhhhh #it's fine if i don't go tho because IM JUST HAPPY... THAT PPL ACKNOWLEDGED MY MANGA

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eleanorfenyxwrites · 2 years ago

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'You Are Of Their Ilk' has just passed 30k hits. I would just like to take a moment to say, ahem:

HOW IN THE FUCK?!

Anyway now that that's out of the way uhhhhhhhhhh wow I feel like I should do something for this? I mean I'm working on a new chapter for it and I hope to wrap up the whole fic relatively soon, but like hot damn. It's already been almost four months since I last updated because I had an idea for where it was going next but I completely changed the next chapter up when I didn't like how it was going (story of the entire fic, tbh). Idk man I just. This fic is SUCH a struggle for me to write most of the time and it just blows me away that it's my most popular fic by MILES. It has a solid 10,000 hit lead on my second most popular fic (by hits) which is 'All Dreams Were Worth Keeping'. I don't know what it is about 'Ilk' that gets people's consistent attention when I barely ever update it and it's been going for like a year and a half at this point at a snail's pace but uhhhhh yeah. That's a Thing. That I'm very happy about and very confused by, simultaneously lol

#personal #You Are Of Their Ilk #It's still so strange to me sometimes what ends up being popular vs what I think is my best work #or what I'm most satisfied / happy with #And like how fics of similar lengths or that update much more regularly or whatever other criteria you can think of #get such different levels of attention #it's fuckin wild man #Another wangxian fic but with a bunch of world building and blending with another piece of media? (the BOTW AU) roughly 1/5th of Ilk's hits #'You Need Tending'? The first fic that Ilk is the sequel to? Just under half the hit count of Ilk #Like idk it's just WEIRD #And I wish I could ask everyone individually what it is specifically about Ilk that draws them in cuz I really can't tell #Other than my perpetual agenda to give people LQR feels and using adorable baby wangxian as my vehicle for it #which now that I think about it....yeah that would get me too lol that's why I'm writing it #ANYWAY sorry for the rambling I'm just flabbergasted #floored. flummoxed. Other good words

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f0xfordcomma · 3 years ago

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Hello!! Happy FFWF!! Is there anything in particular that you find hard to write? Are there any WIPs that you've just absolutely given up on cause you think it'll go nowhere?? (would you share a bit of it? :D)

Croisty! Happy ffw tuesday (which tbh is earlier than I thought I'd be able to do these, so be proud of me lol)

I wish I had more to go off of in my writing portfolio to answer this question, but I think the thing I have the hardest time writing/ have avoided writing in my wips is just unfettered angst or like horror/ violence. Like character death? Gore? Fight scenes? (ooooh baby I SUCK at fight scenes) all of /that/ is just not really my forte as a writer. Don't get me wrong, I am not opposed to hurting my characters, but hurt/comfort is more where its at for me. You've read my stuff, so you know how emotionally driven a lot of my writing is. I think I would have a hard time writing more graphic/ heartbreaking/ violent *stuff* in my style. Idk, it would probably be a good thing for me to practice.... but.... I don't wanna (hands on hips) sooooo I'm not planning to really do anything quite like that anytime soon.

As far as abandoned wips go, I've got plentyyyy (or just verrrrrrry dusty wips that are not quite abandoned but are sitting very patiently on the shelf waiting for me to have the time to get back to them) Violent/ angsty/ deathy/ fighty abandoned wips though? Not so much.

But for you, mon petit croissant, have a bit of a miraculous ladybug reveal fic that I wrote one night after having a little ~ouid~ and convincing my husband to put on a sheet face mask with me that I now have no intention of finishing (oops, rip me).

okaaaaayyy so this is actually pretty dang long lol but I'm going to share the whole thing with you because I just re-read it for the first time in months and its pretty funny ~if you ask me~ so anyway... under the cut <3

NIGHT OFF

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a totally crazy idea to take a night off.

Besides, Shadowmoth’s akumatizations had slowed down considerably in the past few months, and he rarely ever sent out two akumas in one day. The battle that she and Chat had fought that morning was brutal, but they’d come out victorious against HoneyBadger. Still, the fight had left her exhausted and wound up. Shadowmoth was planning something, she was sure of it. She just couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out what it was.

Ladybug was stressed.

Add to that, the fact that end-of-term exams were starting up next week and she’d not had nearly enough time during dead week to actually cram. Something about black butterflies and cranky kwamis and a cheeky cat (who, in recent weeks, had been considerably less cheeky.) Not to mention, she had been receiving an awful lot of memes, seemingly without preamble, from Paris’ favorite male model. Nino thought it was hilarious. Alya thought it was suspicious. Marinette thought it was confusing.

Marinette was stressed.

All of it was stressful.

Alya knew when her best friend was stressed. She could usually gauge the amount of Marinette’s exasperation by the frequency with which her bangs went flying from her face, propelled by a huff and a heavy sigh. Right now, Marinette’s bangs were a mess.

“Okay, girl. You need a night off.”

“What? No, I’m fine! Really! Plus, I can’t really afford to take a night off right now, Alya… I don’t know what Shadowmoth ha—”

“Yeah, no. I’m stopping you right there. For the next twenty-four hours, this space is a Ladybug-talk free zone,” she gestured vaguely around her bedroom, which was scattered with printouts and pictures that Marinette had brought over to work on nailing down Hawkmoth’s possible location using Alya’s beloved akuma-map. “I know, I know. It pains me more than it pains you, truly. But I’m doing this for you. Tonight: you, me, drinks, distractions. You are taking a night off.”

“But Alya! What if—”

“Hush, you know that’s incredibly unlikely. And, in the event of this IF you are so set on, you know that cat boy and I will have your back. Even drunk ladybugs can purify akumas when they have the clawed crusaders on their side.”

“I can’t believe you gave in to his silly nickname.”

“It is a badass nickname and you are just jealous that we bonded.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m annoyed.”

“Mhmm… keep telling yourself that, girl. Now, back to the matter at hand: what kind of drunk do you want to get tonight? Classy or trashy? I still have that peach stuff from last month, but if we are thinking classy I might need to call in the reserves to get us some decent wine.”

“You won’t need to call in anybody, Al, because I am definitely not getting drunk tonight.”

“Night off, Marinette. Drunkenness is a prerequisite.”

“Can’t we just watch movies or something? I really don’t know if that’s too good of an idea…”

“Girl, we watch movies every night. This is a night off. Don’t think I don’t see you stressing all throughout movie night every week, anyway. You need to take your mind off Ladybug,” she gestured at the mess that had consumed her bedroom. “And get your mind back on Marinette. Superhero or no, you’re still a teenage girl who is supposed to be enjoying the last few months of college.”

Marinette pouted.

“Stop pouting. You know you deserve to have normal girl fun.”

“But Alya I—”

“No buts.” An unnervingly devious look crossed Alya’s face. “Unless it is your butt in that pair of skinny jeans that you and I both know you-know-who loves. Boys will be here in twenty. Get to it, girl.”

Marinette just gaped at her. She didn’t even notice that Alya had grabbed her phone, but alas, there was the tell-tale ping.

Alya Cesaire → Akuma class OGs chat

Alya: anyone down for a little last minute get together—my door is open and my bar is stocked

Nino: HELL YEAH babe!

NL: got a new mix i’ve been meaning to show you… so entertainments on me fam!

Alix: This thing got an itinerary or just drunkenness for drunkenness sake?

Alya: the latter, natch.

Alix: Sick! Count me in.

Kim: same!

Rose: Do you need us to bring anything?

Alya: anything you feel like sharing

Alya: otherwise, just yourselves!

Alya: Agreste~you better bring us some of that expensive shit that i know your pops keeps somewhere in that castle of yours

Alya: no fancy wine, no admittance

Alya: the rest of you peasants just bring wtvr

Adrien: uhhhhhhhhhh

Adrien: ALYA

Adrien: dang it! You know I feel obligated to steal wine from my dad’s cellar now

Adrien: do you know how scary my dad is!!!??

Nino: DUDEEEE

Nino: DO IT you wont!

Adrien: shuddup Nino

Marinette: Adrien you totally don’t have to! Alya is just being **extra** Alya today

Alya: i plan a night off for this girl

Alya: and this is the thanks i get??????

Alya: can ya’ll believe this?

Alya: ridiculous

Zoe: UTTERLY RIDICULOUS

Adrien: utterly ridic

Adrien: dangit

Zoe: lol first! sorry adrien

Marinette: ugh ty I guess Als xxxxx

Alya: awe she DOES care, youre welcome babe!

Alya: so sunshine… about that wine?

Adrien: yeah yeah yeah

Adrien: use my people pleasing against me why dontcha

Alya: gladly <3

“Alya, stop bullying Adrien.”

“No way, girl. Giving that boy a task is the only way to ensure he shows up. Speaking of which… butt, jeans, go, now!”

The doorbell rang. Nino had perfected the quickest route to Alya’s house from every part of Paris years ago. Yes, he was whipped; and yes, he was proud of it.

“ALYA! I have to clean all of this up and I have to go home to get those jeans that you’re so dead set on and…”

“No you don’t. Kaalki?”

“Right here, Ms. Rouge.”

“YOU USED VOYAGE TO BRING ME JEANS?”

“No way girl! Don’t be silly. Kaalki and Roaar just volunteered to be my errand kwamis.”

“You guys do realize that I am the guardian, right?”

“Of course, that’s why we worked so hard to get everything that you need for tonight.”

“I—you… wait is this my good bra? How did you—”

“Us kwamis pay attention, Marinette.” Tikki cuddled up to her cheek.

“Et tu, Tikki?”

The ladybug kwami just giggled and made her way to the pile of papers scattered across Alya’s bed, starting to organize them back into neat stacks.

“Night. Off.” Alya punctuated each word with a shove and a smack on the bum, directing Marinette toward the bathroom and shutting her in to get ready while she got the door for Nino.

#foxford just casually drops an entire dang chapter of a fic for your ffwf enjoyment #oops #miraculous ladybug #foxford writes #ml #ml season four #aged up adrienette #ffwf #ffwtuesday #thanks for asking!!#<3 #foxford answers #thatcroissantgurl #a moment of silence for my wip graveyard #cw: mentions of drunkenness #(they are old enough in france okay)

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tales-of-sweets · 3 years ago

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Can I get a uhhhhhhhhhh, Yuri, Raven, Zavied for them asks por favor?

This will be long so I'll put everything under the cut!

RAVEN

favorite thing about them: Umm... basically everything lol. I like his personality, his backstory stabs me in the heart, he arguably has the most depth of all of the characters, and he's pretty funny and adorable. He also sounds really funny when he screams.

least favorite thing about them: Sometimes his overly perverted nature comes off as less funny to me because of the timing/situation and just makes me cringe instead. This isn't about him specifically but I feel like the others go a bit too hard on bullying him, like they're even joking around and making fun of him when he's actively grieving the loss of his close friend and they also tend to brush his suicidal feelings off as a joke which they don't do to the other characters (like Yuri or Estelle). It makes me sad and none of them ever really address this or seem to feel bad about it :/

brOTP: Raven and Karol

OTP: Hmmm... I can't pick just one really but I think I think about Yuraven (or Flynn/Raven/Yuri), Schwann/Alexei, and Raven/Leblanc the most

nOTP: Raven/Rita 😐

random headcanon: Autistic, just like the rest of my fave characters 🥰 I also think he likes Judith so much because she looks and acts like Yuri and he's closeted bi and really into Yuri so he'll settle for the diet version.

unpopular opinion: I think there should have been more time between Schwann's death and Raven's reunion with Brave Vesperia. After how much they bullied and distrusted him it would have been nice to have a little more time for their feelings about his perceived death to settle, outside of just a couple of skits.

song i associate with them: This one reminds me of Schwann (specifically around the time Alexei is already deep into his descent and Schwann has no choice but to follow this almost unrecognizable man that he once respected and realizes he's no longer even seen as a human or even as a knight anymore, just a tool to be used). Surely I have some happy or healing or shippy songs somewhere but nothing is coming to my head rn 😅

favorite picture of them: UHHHH I love every picture of Raven but idk, any one where he makes this face? Alternatively his snazzy little gambler's outfit that I am too lazy to find a photo of rn but y'all know the one!

YURI

favorite thing about them: I like his sarcastic personality. Although I don't like it for him as a person because it makes his life so hard I do find that I'm always drawn to characters who are horrible at expressing their feelings and cause themselves undue suffering. He also weirdly shares a lot of similarities (including name) with my favorite character from another fandom which makes me like him even more.

least favorite thing about them: Hmm... I guess I don't like how quick he is to kill people every time a problem comes up instead of looking for other solutions? I mean obviously that is intentional writing but I feel like the root cause of that is never properly addressed in the third act in the way it should be.

brOTP: Yuri and Karol, found family brothers 🥺💗

OTP: Yuraven or Yuri/Zagi? I think I think about those two the most, though I also love Fluri of course.

nOTP: I don't really think I have one, other than the obvious ones like the children or Sodia. I have shipped him with ever adult in the main cast at least once I think lol

random headcanon: For some reason I can't think of any rn 😅

unpopular opinion: Kinda similar to Raven's but I would have loved to see more reaction to him returning after his "death", namely from Flynn who kinda just moved on immediately despite apparently being so worried that he sent fleets out to look for him multiple times. As much as I adore him I also find him annoying at times.

song i associate with them:

This one IG? I had to go hunting through the songs I have saved for the other Yuri I like because the only Yuri Lowell songs I think of are ship songs 😅

favorite picture of them: Probably this one. Need I explain?

ZAVEID

Unfortunately I have almost no thoughts about Zaveid in particular and he hasn't even joined the party yet in my playthrough (I think I was told he joins near the end of the game??) so I will only answer a few of these, sorry! 😅Once I restart a playthrough with my friend here soon (starting over so we can play together, just gotta wait for them to finish Abyss) I will give more conclusive thoughts about him and some general live commentary stuff! favorite thing about them: Umm... he is very pretty! Also his hair looks like a scallion and that's pretty neat. (I'm not actually a huge fan of him yet but I'm still playing so maybe soon!)

least favorite thing about them: I don't dislike him or anything but I rarely am interested in characters who make many jokes and are flirty unless they whack me over the head with a gigantic trauma reveal. I feel like that is right around the corner where I last stopped (haven't played for a few months). We shall see!

favorite picture of them: The first reveal of the ass gun

#tales of #ask games #tales of series #tales of vesperia

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weirdo-with-a-nametag · 3 years ago

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Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

#mine #long post #snakes #pets #food m #uhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever else needs tagging

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