#which this is not

[concreteemo]

For the love of God can we please stop being so dramatic over Noah deleting his social media already?!? Let’s be grown about this. This is very tiring to see already this week and it’s only Tuesday 😭

[skoulsons]

im going through withdrawals and am touch starved bear with me

joel and ellie riding on a motorcycle. joel talking her through everything before they even get on because he has to make sure she’s safe. joel making sure her helmet fits and is on snug. joel putting his own helmet on and pressing the foreheads of their helmets together. snug? snug.

“remember, hold-“

“hold on to you tight, don’t have my helmet too close to yours, and keep my feet… off the ground.”

“Just perch ‘em on the pegs. Don’t touch the wheels.”

“Got it.”

joel kicking the stand up and waiting for ellie to climb behind him. ellie using his shoulders to balance herself and get comfortable.

“You good?”

she settles her hands around his waist and smiles beneath her helmet. “I’m good.”

they ride. joel keeps their speed on the slower side as ellie gets comfortable. he has to remind her once (or twice) don’ hug me too tight with a brief hand over hers as she loosens her grip (joel turned and leaned farther to the side than ellie was expecting). he speeds up after a while, the sleeves of her sweatshirt and the hair sticking out of her helmet blowing every direction

once they’re back home, ellie excitedly hops off when joel says it’s safe to and she whips her helmet off, joel parking the motorcycle beside their house.

her helmet comes off and some of her hair sticks up, joel laughing and smoothing it over. “Have fun?”

“Fuck yeah! You gotta teach me, joel! Can we do a wheelie next time?”

“No, you are not learning,” he says, hand still on her head.

she looks up at him, a clever smirk on her lips. “…so we can do a wheelie next time?”

joel sighs and closes his eyes. He brings his hand to back of her neck and leans over to kiss her hairline before pulling back to look at her. “No.”

[cantsayidont]

THE RED KING (2024): Over the past couple of years, I've been frustrated at seeing Anjli Mohindra criminally underutilized in a whole succession of TV dramas, and fervently wished that someone would finally give her a proper leading role. Well, the old monkey's paw has curled, for she is prominently featured in this infuriatingly stupid new Alibi mystery-thriller, where she stars as Grace Narayan, a police sergeant reassigned to a remote Welsh island that's a hotbed of a sinister faux-Celtic cult called the True Way, which has been known to practice (shhh) human sacrifice, and which may be connected to the suspicious death of a young local boy.

If this premise sounds awfully familiar, you may rest assured that this six-part series is indeed a clumsy pastiche of THE WICKER MAN, with Adjoa Andoh in essentially the Chrisopher Lee role. That might sound promising, but it's painfully evident that writer/creator Toby Whitehouse did not grasp at all what THE WICKER MAN is about; one supposes he's long dreamed of rewriting the story so that the Edward Woodward character would come out on top. Consequently, THE RED KING doesn't work as a mystery, as a thriller, as a drama, or as a horror movie, and any goodwill it might have had is squandered by an extremely reactionary plotline about why Grace has been assigned to this punishment posting — she blew the whistle on some other cops' unethical actions and thereby caused a Sexual Predator™ to be acquitted in court, an action for which the entire story is constructed to punish her — making it copaganda of the worst sort.

Mohindra is good, and Andoh is excellent, but the script is hopeless and the finale so maddening that I wanted to throw things at the screen. CWs apply for references to CSA. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Local weirdo Winter (Maeve Courtier-Lilley) spends the story throwing herself at Grace, but Grace's uncertainty about whom she can trust means it never progresses beyond an awkward hug. VERDICT: Is Mohindra under some kind of wizard's curse? How can we free her?

[the-archpriest-and-the-outcast]

from @the-consortium

(If you think it's over-stepping that I've written a little bit of your character, please ignore anything before the letter - I just wanted to add a bit of fluff so the question doesn't hang in space so dryly 😊).

It is not entirely clear how the message actually made it to the Primarch - especially since it very obviously bears the electronic seal of the Consortium and hardly anyone has tried so persistently and repeatedly to remove the Chief Apothecary from existence as the political arm of the Word Bearers. But interestingly, the contents are of a private nature - which is probably why the dataslate has made it past all bureaucracy to Erebus, who now carries it to Lorgar with only barely suppressed curiosity - he is not good at simulating neutrality, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly in amusement.

He hands it to his primarch with a respectful inclination of his head.

As the Urizen reads, rays of light from thousands of candles and stained glass windows dance on his golden skin and he is the centre of a cosmos of warm glow and icy darkness.

"Primarch Lorgar! I write these lines out of the spirit of friendship that once bound our legions together. And out of a certain self-interest, as one of your sons is, excuse my words, getting on my tits. He can no longer find your quotes on a bird species (picture attached - it's a Cardinal) and that makes him a really very tiring fellow. I therefore respectfully request that you send him some reading material so that peace can return and I can finally get back to work without having to put up with his whining. Or perhaps even a few direct lines on the subject from yourselves?

Respectfully,

Arrian Zorzi, Apothecary of the World Eaters.

P.S.: He really does take your writings terribly seriously. So, I won't complain about him here. 1A son!"

@the-consortium

A look of amusement passes over the daemon primarch's face as he reads the note. He gives a raised brow to Erebus.

"You allowed this to come from Fabius and his Consortium?" he asked. Erebus gave a nod. "It is authored by their World Eater, no less. Fascinating little note."

He waves a hand, conjuring a shelf packed with the thousands of volumes that comprise the entirety of the Book of Lorgar. One hand reaches for an applicable volume, the other conjuring parchment, quill, and ink. Despite millennia being inundated in the Warp itself, learning its secrets and mysteries, he still enjoyed the simple creature comfort that writing with parchment and ink provided. It grounded him. Refocused his thoughts.

As he selected the relevant tome, he pulled up the parchment, and began to record his response.

Apothecary Zorzi,

I apologize on behalf of my son for his conduct. He is simply trying to be true to his faith, and I understand how it can come across as... irritating, especially if one is persistent. I had such an inclination when I was quite young, still walking the sands of Colchis with Kor Phaeron.

To answer the question, however, I am sending along a copied volume from amongst my personal writings. I request it be returned once Apothecary Thresh is done with it, and I also request that it be treated with delicate care and respect. The volume contains a number of collected writings regarding the symbolism and proper care regarding many creatures, and the relevant section on the cardinal has been marked.

If you have any further inquiries, please do not hesitate to ask them. For future reference, however, it may be best for Saqqara to send the inquiry himself. You are very lucky this was not intercepted by the Dark Council. Unfortunately, Apothecary Bile has a bit of a reputation.

I hope this serves you well.

Yours,

Lorgar Aurelian

He takes the parchment and gently folds it, putting it under the cover of the volume in question. He then wraps the volume itself in a soft, red cloth, and puts a ward on it. The ward emblazons itself upon the cloth in shimmering golden cuneiform. He looks to Erebus for a moment, before he instead simply sends it away himself, and dismisses his son.

The package materializes next to whatever Arrian finds himself working on in a soft flash of light, the sender unmistakable.

[lopez-richter-fangirl]

I’m not on sktwt and I’ve tried searching for key phrases, help a girl out and give me an @ for your last post! So curious

So appreciate you searching for the key phrases!! There unfortunately were none I only saw it because twitter happened to open up to it on my fyp. The tweet is now deleted so I’ll post it here with removed @ because it seems like they only deleted it because of the replies they got focusing on the initial tiktok comment in the thread and not Lauren being absolutely unbothered lmao

[omegaverse-anesthesiologist]

why is ao3 is blocked on the hospital wifi????

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[chongoblog]

Me, after forgetting to cut the top off an onion before dicing it: “Aw dammit”

The Gordon Ramsey that lives in my head: “Don’t worry there, this mistake isn’t going to ruin anything. No need to be too hard on yourself”

Me: “Wow, that’s…not what I was expecting”

Gordon: “Of course, you ought to know by now that I don’t shout at cooks just to do so. I do it because the people in hit television show Kitchen Nightmares are putting their services out into the public and claim to be good enough to have the title of head chef. You’re just some guy in your twenties making beef stroganoff for yourself and your roommate. I’m kind of a dick, yeah, but I’m not gonna scream at you for a minor mistake like this”

Me: “Oh….well…thanks”

Gordon: “You’re welcome…cunt…”

[lotrmusical]

never let anyone tell you that trawling through mediocre victorian poetry isn't worth it. we just happened upon an absolute BANGER of a worm poem. go read it or else 🪱🪱🪱

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[notbecauseofvictories]

A customer contacted our team with questions, and then finished their email with: "I am daunted by the complexities and unknowns." I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.

[vamprisms]

adhd will have you fighting for your life to do beloved hobbies that bring you nothing but joy

[fluentisonus]

trains will announce you're stopping in places you never knew existed

[whaledocboi]

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

[cuntstable]

i hate when people call marcille a girlfailure btw like SHE ISNT. and shes not a ”girlboss” either. this is a neurotic and Permanently On The Edge of a Breakdown overachiever late 20s virgin just out of her phd program with permanently shaky hands from an addiction to overly sugary coffee and a deep desire to be crushed to death under falins giant jugs no matter the cost. the only thing shes ever ”failed” at is going to theraphy