#which takes a lot of the drama but its one dead-end less

[sungbeam]

𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧: 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬

nonidol!kang yeosang x f!reader

yeosang doesn't remember your name, but he remembers what kissing you tastes like and how you like your eggs in the morning. just your regular prince charming trying to find his cinderella, or in this case, his passenger princess..?

9.5k (lord.....), nc-17, s2l, frateez au, college au, mentions of alcohol, swearing, kissing, humor, fluff, minimal angst, another cinderella story au/trope(?), drama (i bring i bring all the drama-ma-ma-ma), a girl who is not a girl's girl :l, the barest of proofreading

a/n: this is for the @atzhouse you can't outrage us event! guys if the flirting is lackluster, it's cuz im running out of rizz

“I don't believe you.”

The last place you expected to end up was in the front seat of some guy's white Lexus while the party raged on inside the ATZ fraternity house just down the street. According to him, he had to run out just before the crowd rolled in, and when he got back, somebody had snatched his parking spot. 

“Okay, but why don't you believe me?”

The car smelled not like fresh leather, but an enchanting mixture of something like pine and smoked wood. Bitter, yet somehow, refreshing. You bet, even as the alcohol was hitting you, that it was what he smelled like. 

His name was Yeosang—the guy sitting next to you in the driver's seat, the owner of this car, and the ATZ fraternity brother you bumped into at his house's own party. That had been just about twenty minutes ago when you'd ended up isolated from your pack of friends, and Yeosang had needed a desperate breather. It seemed he'd been running from someone (question mark), so you asked if he knew where the kitchen was. Eager to get away from whoever it was, he guided you straight to the kitchen and where the secret stash of flavored sojus were. 

An offhand comment about wishing you didn't have to miss this one drama episode dropping tonight led to a longer conversation about the dramas you both enjoyed, which somehow landed you in his passenger seat. 

The rest was history. Or—you supposed the rest was now. 

“Because,” Yeosang said in a tone that sounded a lot like he was saying 'duh’, “you don't look like a biology major.”

He was gorgeous, even if the lighting in the party and out here was jack shit. The way the shadows cut across his face made him look like a faerie torn straight out of one of your old sketchbooks. You were half certain he had pointed ears beneath the cat-eared beanie he wore, but maybe that was just the alcohol doing its thing. 

You sputtered out a laugh as he knocked back another gulp of his melon soju. He was more drunk than you were, maybe not by too much because that wouldn't have been fair, but it did take him seven tries to unlock his car seven minutes ago. “What's a bio major s'posed to look like?”

“Mmm…” he hummed, lips pressed together in a line that dug into his cheeks. “Not you.”

It only made you laugh harder. It wasn't even that funny. “That doesn't even make sense!”

“Does it have to make sense?” He squawked. His face shuddered for a moment as if he just experienced a glitch. “I forgot what I was gonna say, but it's the vibe.”

“The vibe,” you parroted in mild amusement. After you swallowed down your next gulp of soju, you gestured to him with the bottle, “Okay, now what about you? Your major, go.”

“I read shit.”

“Who doesn't?”

“Jared, 19,” he replied, dead serious. 

Equally serious, you asked with wide eyes, “Really?”

He gave you an emphatic nod back. Really. Now, if you were a little less tipsy, you wouldn't have taken what he said at face value, but tonight was already miles away from your regularly scheduled program. 

You pondered on that—the “I read shit,” not the misfortunes of one nineteen year old named Jared. “So if you read a lot of shit, does that make you a literature major? No, wait! I got it; you look like Comparative Lit.”

“Bingo,” he cheered, raising his bottle up into the air. “Wait. What do you mean I look like a comparative lit major? What does a comp lit major even look like?”

“I dunno, but it’s you.” 

He pursed his lips into a deadpan at your callback to what he'd said before, and you merely stuck your tongue out at him like the mature adult you were. “Touché, my friend. Touché…”

Silence passed between you two for the first time since you met each other. In the distance, you could hear the muffled sounds of the party raging on. It wasn't that you didn't go to parties often; it was more so that you usually went to house parties hosted by friends or friends-of-a-friend. Making it all the way to Greek Row was not something you did every weekend, but a mutual friend—Chungha—knew the ATZ president and got you and your friends in. 

Nearly finished with his third bottle (or was it his fourth?...), Yeosang knocked the remainder down his throat with a grimace. With the empty bottle, he set it at his feet on the car floor to join another—the cup holders were already occupied with yours and his second rounds. The first was abandoned on the frat house lawn somewhere. 

“I think—” he slurred, blinking slowly at you like a cat, “—that you look like an artist.”

“An artist?” You parroted dumbly and felt warmth rise to your cheeks. “And why would you say that? Vibes?”

“Well, yes!”

You sputtered out a laugh at the way he said that. “Then yes, I am an artist,” you said, emphasizing the latter half of the word so it sounded like “teest” and not “tist.”

Yeosang gave a hoot. “I'm so good at this. Does that—does that mean you can paint me like one of your French girls?” He pulled his lips into an adorable, little smile, the back of his hand poised beneath his chin as he fluttered his lashes. 

“I don't think I could do you justice,” you admitted. There was a rather annoying buzz at the back of your brain that was distracting you. With a shake of your head, you refocused your gaze on him. “You're too pretty.”

He preened at the compliment, unconsciously reaching up to adjust his beanie. “Like calls to like then.”

“What does that mean?” Your buzzed-out brain couldn't compute—

“It means that prettiness is attracted to prettiness, and I'm attracted to you.”

You whined, burying your face in your hands. Yeosang giggled to himself, incredibly proud at making you flustered, his knees curling upward to kick his feet in the cramped space. “I don't like you.”

“You don't?” 

“No,” you raised your head up with a displeased frown, only to see that his eyes seemed to be twinkling with unrestrained happiness and something else. You weren't in the right state to hyper-analyze the way he looked at you, but it made your heart skip more than just a beat. “It's not fair that you're a literature major.”

“But I'm drunk,” he said innocently. 

“That's even worse!”

He grinned boyishly at you, bashfully stretching his limbs and then cupping the back of his neck with a hand. “What if I told you I'm minoring in math?”

You deadpanned. “I don't think that makes me feel any better. You rule both the realms of words and numbers.”

“It doesn't mean I'm good at math,” he guffawed, leaning back in his seat. “It's only there 'cause my mom's a math teacher, and having a math minor makes my parents feel better.”

That sounded familiar… awfully familiar. The thought made you sober a bit, and it seemed your counterpart wasn't so wasted that he didn't notice the shift either.

“Uh oh,” he chuckled nervously, “what'd I say?”

You waved your hand around dismissively. “Oh, it's nothing. I'm kind of the opposite—my bio major is sort of to appease my parents and the fine art minor is for my sanity.”

He pressed his lips into a line, nodding in understanding. “Ah, I see,” he drawled. “So you don't… you're not happy? With what you're doing, I mean.”

Maybe it was the way he asked it, but it made the cogs in your head turn. You bit your lip. “I'm happy-ish. It's kind of a lot, but I'll survive.”

“'m sorry I upset you,” he pouted. “But,” he stammered, swallowing, “but I get it. My parents never wanna talk about my major anymore. Pretty sure they're just bitter and disappointed. I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around them.” 

You could tell that it affected him more than he wanted to admit. You wordlessly passed him your half-drunk bottle, and he gladly took a generous sip. When it was back in your hands, you guzzled down the remainder. 

The buzz was getting better. 

“Well, if they're not proud of you, I am,” you declared, setting the empty bottle at your feet. Your eyes blinked slowly for a moment as you got your bearings again. Maybe… maybe you should stop drinking! Yes, that would be the smart thing to do. 

Yeosang hummed. “Thanks,” he said with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He gazed over at you from his side of the car. “I'm proud of you, too. You'll be happy one day; it'll always turn out okay, Yn-ie.”

Something warm and fuzzy settled in your chest, like a cat had just curled up there, purring and content. 

A thought suddenly popped into your head. “Yeosang, how do you like your eggs?”

He snorted and burst into laughter, coaxing a similar expression out of you. A moment later, you were trying your best to pout at him, “Hey! Don't laugh! I hear it's all the rage on the pick-up line scene.”

“You're trying to pick me up?” He giggled. All memories of the previous topic flew out the car window.

“Well, is it working?”

He licked his lips around a smile, leaning over the center console to rest his cheek against his fist. “Ask me again.”

You took another sip of your soju before returning it to its cupholder. “Okay. Yeosang, how do you like your eggs in the morning?”

“However you'd like them.”

You deadpanned, and that only made him laugh louder. His head tilted back so you caught a glimpse of his canines, before he brought himself back down to Earth. His cheeks looked as flushed as you felt—even in the dim streetlight you could make out the blooms of peony pink across his cheekbones. “Yeo.”

He reached over to pat your head a couple times, though the sloppiness of his movements made it feel closer to two affectionate smacks. “Okay okay. Sorry. How about we say it at the same time?”

“Okay.” That wasn't a bad compromise. 

“Okay, one, two, three—”

“Sunny-side up,” you both said at once. 

Your eyes and his eyes widened at once, gasps of delight sounding into the quiet car. Could this guy be any more perfect?

“You're not bluffing?” You asked with narrowed eyes. 

Yeosang shook his head vigorously. “Mm-mm. I wouldn't lie to you, Yn-ie. Scout's honor,” he slurred, holding his hand up as if he was a boy scout. 

You giggled at the gesture, and he broke form to melt into an ooey gooey puddle of liquefied butterflies. For a moment, he just stared at you with a strange look on his face, one that you couldn't quite place when you were in this inebriated state. 

You chuckled, shifting your position when one leg started falling asleep. “What’s wr—?”

He leaned forward and—oh. Oh. Those were—his lips were on yours. He had leaned over the console and kissed you. He was kissing you. 

And when you didn't kiss him back, he drew backwards, an embarrassed expression painted over the adorable flush on his cheeks. “That—I shouldn't have done that, should I? I'm sorry; I dunno what I was—”

You crushed your mouth against his this time, effectively stealing the apology right off his tongue. He tasted like melon soju, and his touch was gentle as he brought his hand up to cup the side of your face, cradle your jaw. He was tracing the outline of your features in the dark like he could sketch them in the lines in his mind. 

He tasted like the color of amber, warm and bright, but not blindingly so. He was mellow and sweet, with the undertones of the burnt wood in his cologne. 

You melded your lips against his mouth like you could engrave him into you, and you were practically half over the middle console already. Yeosang's free hand fumbled backward to find the button on the side of his chair—there. The chair began moving backward with a monotonous brrr sound, and as it moved you couldn't quite keep your lips physically attached to his. 

You disconnected from him for what felt like an eternity in order to climb over—shoes knocking against empty soju bottles, ass nearly bumping the horn—and with some clumsy, awkward maneuvering, you were on him again, this time quite literally. You tumbled into his lap, his hands landing on either side of your waist and your hands bracing against the back of his chair.

He loosened a soft groan with the return of your lips to his, and he hauled you down closer to him, until your chests were pressed flush against one another and you couldn't tell which heartbeat was who's. His beanie fell off at some point, but your fingers buried themselves within the dark, silken mass of his hair, a hat in their own right. 

When you both pulled away for breath, your chests heaved in tandem to catch it. You settled your cheek against his shoulder while you inhaled the smell of his cologne, much stronger now that you sat against his chest with your nose by his throat. His hand warmed the small of your back with the other cupping the back of your head in an affectionate cradle. 

“I don't think I've ever kissed someone like that,” you admitted into the quiet. You suddenly couldn't hear the muffled music blasting from the party in the background anymore. 

“Me neither,” he replied, voice hoarse from the kiss. “I've never met someone like you before.”

“Never in your life?”

“Never in my life.”

“So let me get this straight,” drawled Wooyoung with both hands poised at his temples, eyes screwed shut against the bright morning light coming in through the window. There were currently eight people crowded onto President Hongjoong's bed at a time that was far too early to be alive for a group of people who partied until four in the morning. “You're saying that you know this girl's family life, how she likes her eggs in the morning, and how she kisses—but you don't even know her name?”

Yeosang was propped up against the headboard, squeezed between a very unfairly serene-looking Seonghwa and a mildly hungover Hongjoong. Yeosang's bangs were flat against his forehead and he squinted his tired eyes through the strands. “No, that's not what I said. I said that I know her name… it's just not coming to me right now.”

He knew your name. Right? You told him your name, right? He addressed you by your name at least once last night, right? 

(If he was being honest, as soon as Yeosang woke up this morning, he started whimsically recalling the events of last night in his head. But once he realized he neither had your number nor remembered your name, he jostled his friends up to invade the president's room for an emergency round table discussion. Who would have guessed their alarm clock would be a very panicked Maltese screaming, “I DON'T REMEMBER HER NAME!”)

“Which pretty much means you don't know her name,” Jongho piped up where he was laying against Yunho's back on the corner of the bed, his eyes closed while he attempted to squeeze in five more milliseconds of sleep. 

“Well, do you know who she came with?” San asked. “She probably has at least one mutual friend or else she wouldn't have gotten in.”

Mingi furrowed his brows together. “Not necessarily. The pledges might not have been thorough when checking.”

Hongjoong's eyes narrowed. “You were supposed to be there with them at the door, Mingi.”

“Oh, was I?”

Yunho cut in before Hongjoong could tackle Mingi off the bed. He grinned to himself, “Okay, but San has a point. Usually people are only able to sneak in if they're with a group.”

“Awh,” Wooyoung cooed, reaching over to pinch at Yeosang's cheek, “Yeosangie fell in love with a stowaway—ow! Hey! He just bit me!”

“Deserved,” Seonghwa said plainly. He turned his head so as to not have to face Wooyoung's wounded puppy eyes. It was too early for this. “Do you know if she came with anyone, Yeosang-ah?”

Yeosang scrunched his nose up, disgruntled. “No. I'm pretty sure she was looking for her friends when we met… something like that. I remember some things, but not everything.” He pinched the place between his brows in an attempt to piece together his memory of last night. He could remember the way you made him feel—it was the jittery warmth that came with falling, and his heart had never grown wings before like it had around you. 

After the kiss, the two of you had sunk into a comfortable, quiet conversation about anything and everything beneath the sun. For the first time in a long time, he felt comfortable and heard by someone other than his fraternity brothers. You were perfect, for lack of a better word. And he knew a lot of words. 

But how could he fucking forget your name? 

He was never drinking that much melon soju ever again. 

“She's a biology major,” he offered with a defeated sigh, letting his hand fall into his lap. 

“What does she look like?” Hongjoong asked. 

Yeosang's gaze went up to the ceiling as he recalled what you looked like to his friends. It was pretty dark the entire time he was with you, but there were a few moments when the streetlights hit your face and his conscience was constantly trying to keep his drunk ass from kissing you within the first ten minutes of meeting you. He'd managed to hold it together for a little bit longer before throwing all caution to the wind. 

When he was done, San said in light amusement, “I'm just surprised you kissed her first. She must be something then, huh?”

Yeosang couldn't conceal the smile that slowly crept onto his face. “Yeah, she's…” He cleared his throat. “I just don't want last night to be the first and last time I see her.” It couldn't be—just when he thought he clicked with someone, the universe couldn't possibly be so cruel as to rip you away from him, could it?

“Don't you worry!” Mingi chirped, “We'll help you find your passenger princess.”

Seonghwa snorted. “Passenger princess? What is this, Cinderella?”

“It might as well be,” San chuckled, lifting his shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “Operation: Passenger Princess is a go!”

Yeosang wasn't sure if recruiting his friends’ help was a good or awful decision. But because his past, drunk self hadn't done many favors for his future, sober self, he would take all the help he could get. 

You knew the moment you stumbled out of your bedroom and saw your roommate that you were in trouble. It wasn't trouble in the conventional sense; considering her eyes were laughing as she watched your pitiful walk of shame from your room to the shared bathroom, you knew you were not going to hear the end of everything that happened last night ever. 

“Not a word,” you said to her as you winced at the blinding bathroom lights. 

Her toothbrush hung out of her mouth as she slipped in behind you to spit her toothpaste into the sink. When her mouth was rinsed and clear, she made eye contact with you in the mirror, eyebrows wagging up and down. “So you and Yeosang, huh?”

You glared at her from around your own toothbrush. You would have taken the damn thing out to defend yourself, but you were already late. 

Reina took full advantage of your occupied vocal chords. “I never knew pretty frat boys were your type, Yn,” she teased, practically floating out of the bathroom to go check on the state of her espresso in the kitchen. 

“Aye hae yuu,” you grumbled around your toothbrush. 

“What's that?” She cackled, bringing a hand up to the shell of her ear. “I love you? I love you, too, Yn. But you know who else loves you?—”

“Dompt shae it.”

“Yeosaaaang!” 

You loathed the fact that her saying such things made butterflies flap their wings and dance around in your belly. It was simply delusional to think of love when all you and Yeosang did last night was make out in his car and accompany each other in deep, provoking conversation… conversation that definitely didn't make you feel incredibly seen or anything… definitely not. 

Finally, you were able to spit your toothpaste out to make your argument. “Okay, first of all, I don't even have his number. And—how could he love me?” As if possession of a phone number could even correlate to love either.

Reina paused, her expression arranging into loud incredulity. “You what? After all I went through to separate the two of you to go home, you didn't exchange numbers?”

Okay, so maybe you shouldn't have disclosed that information—now you just looked stupid. 

You lathered up facial cleanser in your hands and on your face. “Look. Exchanging numbers was just the last thing on our minds—” Oh, Yn. Have you ever said something smart? 

Reina snorted. “Oh, I know.”

“We didn't just make out,” you grumbled, your cheeks warming beneath your hands. You furiously splashed cool water over your skin before patting your face dry. There likely wasn't much time left before you and Reina had to run to meet your other friends at your weekly volunteering session. “We talked.”

“Uh-huh, and you know that denial is a river in Egypt, right?”

Suffice to say that Reina most definitely did not let your shenanigans from last night go. The two of you managed to reach the food bank sometime before fifteen minutes past your original start time. Everyone else was already stationed and on time, and because you and Reina were the last to arrive, you were sent straight to dishwashing. 

As you and Reina pulled on your twin pairs of pink rubber gloves, your friend Mark Lee (and brother with the NCT fraternity) barrelled into the backroom with a dirty ladle in his hands. His head perked up at the sight of you both, a smile blooming on his face. “Well, good morning, Party Animals. How was the ATZ party last night?”

He deposited the ladle into the sink for you to wash while he went to go find a clean one. 

“It was cool, but I think Yn would love to tell you all about her experience,” Reina teased, bumping her elbow against your side. 

Mark sidled up beside the two of you and leaned in close in proper tea-spilling fashion. “Oh my gosh, did something happen?”

You scowled at Reina, then said to Mark, “Nothing catastrophic—”

“She hooked up with Yeosang!”

You cut her a hard glance. “Reina, I don't think Neptune heard you.”

Mark's eyes went comically wide, jaw slackening. “Yn and Yeosang? That's so wild. Like—like Kang Yeosang?”

“I think? We didn't exactly exchange last names, but why would it be wild? We just kissed and talked.”

“Who kissed who now?” The new voice had you all glancing back over to the kitchen door where another member of the group, Yura, walked in. Yura was Reina's cousin, and the two grew up quite close, so it was natural that they ended up in similar social circles. You and all your other friends got along pleasantly with her. She flashed you all a small smile. “From the sounds of it, I'm guessing you guys had a fun time at the party last night?”

“We did!” Reina chirped. 

“Shame you couldn't come with us this time,” you said offhandedly. It wasn't like Yura to miss a party. 

Reina cocked her head to the side. “I could've sworn I saw you there though—”

“Ah,” Yura waved her hand to dismiss her cousin's thought. She chuckled, “You're probably mistaking someone else as me; I had that paper I needed to work on last night, remember? But Yn, you and Yeosang?”

You groaned. “I thought we were over this.”

“Dude, we can't not get over this,” Mark quipped back. “Yeosang just doesn't do stuff like that—hook up with people, I mean.”

“Yeah,” Yura chimed in, “I've seen him at a couple other Greek parties with some of my sorority friends and he looks pretty standoffish most of the time. He's usually always with one of his brothers. He's kind of cold, really.”

Mark furrowed his brows. “I wouldn't call him cold; he's just a little shy, is all.”

“My friends told me that a lot of sorority girls chase after him,” Yura said with wide eyes. “They get, like, aggressive about him or something.”

You and Reina exchanged a look. Was that who he was running from last night? “That must be kinda stressful,” you said softly with a small frown. 

“Apparently, that's why his social medias don't take DMs unless approved,” she shrugged. 

Well, there went your backup plan of finding him on social media. Then again, if he recognized you or your name, would that help if you requested him? That was if you deigned to change your profile picture to yourself and not one of your silly doodles. 

You couldn't help the weight that your heart seemed to gain as it sank to the pit of your stomach. 

“Well, that's mildly disappointing,” Reina muttered, turning to quickly wash the ladle Mark had just dropped off. 

“I just wouldn't want you to get targeted by any of those crazy sorority girls, y'know?” Yura gave a laugh that sounded almost nervous. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before snapping on a fresh pair of gloves. 

You nodded, gnawing on your bottom lip. “Yeah, no, I—I get it. Thanks, Yura.”

She gave you a sympathetic look. “Of course,” she said. With a wave, she made her way back toward the kitchen door. “Mark, we better get back to work. See you guys at lunch break!”

When she was gone, Mark clapped a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Hey, listen. I don't really know the guy personally, but me and Wooyoung are pretty tight. I can get in touch with them if you want—”

Baekhyun, the section leader for your session, charged into the kitchen with his arm piled high with dirty dishes. If you didn’t fear for the safety of the porcelain bowl at the top of the stack, you might have chuckled at the scene before you. “Mark! We don't pay you to stand around.”

“Hyung,” Mark huffed exasperatedly as he rushed over to help Baekhyun before the section leader could get knocked over the head by a rogue dish assisted by gravity. “You don't pay us. We're here out of the goodness of our hearts.”

“Well, I don't get paid enough for this,” Baekhyun said once all the dishes were transferred to the sink, and you and Reina were put to work. “Now come on; lots to do!”

Just as Mark was about to follow after Baekhyun, he caught your eyes. “I'm serious about the offer, Yn.”

You smiled. “Thanks, man, but let me think about it and I'll get back to you.”

“Yeah, just lemme know!” And he was gone. 

Word broke out that someone in the ATZ household was searching for a girl. Word of mouth was a method of dissemination that could spread like wildfire, leaping from one tongue to one ear to another, leaving only ash and debris behind. And around Greek Row, it became a massive game of Telephone. 

But while nearly everyone in the university's fraternities and sororities knew about his strife, Yeosang’s efforts seemed to be for naught. The only thing that emerged from this were more people harping after him, claiming to be 'the one he was looking for.’ None of them were you. 

Your name had manifested itself in his head about halfway into the week. He'd been toiling over the theory readings his professor assigned for Thursday's lecture when he'd underlined a word, and it came crashing down upon him with ice cold clarity. 

His eyes went wide as he shot up out of his chair, nearly sending Jongho careening off his bed on the other side of the room. “What the—”

“Yn,” Yeosang said. Then he declared a little louder, a giddy smile on his face, triumphant and bright, “Her name is Yn.”

Jongho resettled himself on top of his bed. “Well that narrows things down for us,” he drawled, taking his phone out and typing something out. “I don't suppose you have her last name.”

Yeosang fwumped onto the edge of his bed with his lips pressed into a line. “Dude. I literally just thought of her first name. Do you really think I can come up with—”

“Okay, okay,” Jongho laughed, flicking his wrist at him for a moment before resuming his typing. 

“Who're you texting?” Yeosang asked as curiosity drew him across the room to Jongho's side. 

His friend sat up so he could peer over his shoulder at the phone screen. “I'm doing the heavy lifting,” he teased. Based on the social media handle at the top of the direct messages channel, Jongho was texting Chungha, a friend of the frat's but a closer friend of President Hongjoong's, and the recently graduated head of the Phi Omega Phi sorority. “Hongjoong hyung mentioned offhandedly that Chungha wanted to get some friends into the party on Friday, so I'm seeing if she recognizes this Yn person you're looking for.”

Yeosang’s eyebrows flicked upward as he settled into a more comfortable position on Jongho’s bed while they awaited Chungha’s response. In the meantime, he pulled out his own phone in an attempt to search for your name amongst his mutuals. He frowned at the lack of a successful search—did you use a different name or did you not have a social media account? Was that why you hadn’t attempted to contact him in the past few days?

For a moment, a shard of self-consciousness pierced through his chest at the prospect that you didn’t want to contact him. Did sobriety make you embarrassed at what happened that night? Had he made you uncomfortable with the amount of vulnerability that was in the car—no, the vulnerability was mutual… but maybe—

“Gotcha.” 

Yeosang’s head whipped back over to Jongho’s screen. Having your name and major seemed to ring a bell for Chungha, and she forwarded a social media handle, along with a “tell Yeosang good luck ;)”. 

“Thank you, Jongho. And bless up, Chungha,” Yeosang muttered as he swiftly input the social media handle into his search bar. There it was—a private art account with your first name in the biography line. There were only one or two people who you both shared mutuals with, which made sense. 

His thumb hovered over the request button, and he bit his lip. With little else left to do and his heart banging around in his ribs from the anticipation alone, he clicked the button. 

It didn’t take you incredibly long to accept his follow request and to follow him back. (Though, half an hour felt like an eternity when he was so anxious.) He made it painfully obvious that you acted in response, because Yeosang fumbled his phone between his palms like it was a hot potato, before he dropped it and stubbed his toe with it. 

Jongho sent him a strange look as he handed the device back to a red-faced Yeosang, who furrowed his brows together to think of an opening direct message to you. 

“It doesn't have to be perfect,” Jongho said as he peered over Yeosang's shoulder this time. He had even paused the game he was playing on his phone to stay tuned into the live entertainment. 

Yeosang made a face. “Yes, it does.” It had to be the perfect mix of witty and funny and subtle and—

He figured it out. 

@/yskang99: how do u like ur eggs?

Jongho released a sound of utter flabbergast, and Yeosang shushed him, both pairs of eyes pinned to the three dots that appeared on the bottom left-hand side of the screen. 

@/studioyn: sunny side up

Yeosang broke into a smile, and Jongho's face contorted into pure incredulity. “What kind of security question is that?”

“Inside joke,” Yeosang replied giddily, rising from Jongho's bed to cross over to his side of the room. He collapsed into his desk chair and propped his feet up along the end of his bed. 

Jongho scoffed, shifting his lounging position. He threw his friend another incredulous glance before giving up and returning to his game. He'd done his job. 

@/yskang99: congrats u passed the test!

@/studioyn: ahh so that was a test? i imagined us doing a virtual handshake tbh

@/yskang99: i like that better actually

@/studioyn: also how did u find me lmao

Yeosang bit his lip through a grin. I have my ways, he typed out cryptically, cheekily. 

@/studioyn: wtvr u say ig… 🤨🤨🤨

For a brief moment, Yeosang wondered if he should bring up the concern lingering in his mind—why you hadn't reached out to him. He didn't want to simply assume that he was “popular” enough that just anybody knew who he was, but he was also aware that most people were able to track him down on social media. But would that kill the vibe? He liked the energy. 

@/studioyn: i can't get a read on whether or not ur any different than how u were drunk 

@/yskang99: would that matter?

@/studioyn: not particularly, no, but i've met people who r

@/yskang99: no i get that, i've met my fair share too :/ 

He began typing out slowly: I missed you… Then he swiftly amended it to: I missed talking to you. 

@/studioyn: awhh wait ik we've only technically spoken the one time, but i missed talking to u too yeo :’)

A smile split his face from ear to ear. Would you wanna hang out again? Only if you're comfortable, of course. 

He watched the three dots appear, then disappear. You were thinking and his heart was sinking.

Finally, your response came in. I'd love to, but I don't wanna disappoint you with my god awful schedule this next week. 

@/yskang99: what abt the weekend? something low stakes maybe?

@/yskang99: my brothers and i r going to the nct house on sat

@/studioyn: oh!! im actually close friends w mark lee :] i'll see if i can drag my friends along, and we can link up there?

The thought of seeing you again, even if it was at another dumb Greek party, made electricity zip through his veins. His stomach filled to the brim with butterflies, and he had to shift his position because of how much it tickled. 

@/yskang99: yeah sounds great :D i'll look forward to seeing u

@/studioyn: same here yeo :’))

@/studioyn: how's ur week been so far? 

Yeosang leaned back in his chair again, propping his elbows on the armrests to sink into a comfortable position. He had a feeling he might be here awhile, but he would sit here all night if it meant talking to you. 

“Yn! We're gonna be late!” 

You nearly jolted at the sound of Reina's voice carrying through the other side of your bedroom door. You dropped your phone onto your bed, racing to finish up the rest of your makeup. “You can never be late to a Greek party!” You countered, swiping your thumb over the pigment you just put on your lips. 

Your bedroom door opened just as you were slipping a chain necklace around your collar. Reina poked her head in, her eyes looking you up and down. “Ooh-la-la,” she gushed with a teasing smile. “Someone's gotten all dolled up. I wonder who for…”

You rolled your eyes and ignored the obvious warmth rising to your face. “I just felt like it,” you defended weakly while spritzing a light mist of perfume over your neck and wrists. You stood up from your desk to collect your wallet, keys, and lip gloss to dump into a purse, then went over to retrieve your phone. 

The screen displayed another message from Yeosang, no doubt continuing the conversation you had to abruptly pause because you would be late for the NCT party. This was going to be the second Greek party in two weeks—a record for your books. But you had a feeling it was going to be a good time like last week, you were sure of it. 

As you skimmed the message Yeosang sent, you slipped out of the room to join Reina in the main living space. She casted you a pointed look with arms crossed over her chest and lips pressed together. 

“What?” You blinked over at her innocently. 

“You're never gonna see your boy at this rate,” she said as the two of you picked out your shoes for the night. 

You sent a text answering Yeosang and letting him know you would be at the party soon. “He's not 'my boy,’” you said. 

“Right. He's your man.”

You hated how hard it was to keep the giggle in your throat down. It was embarrassing how you smiled just then, too, turning your head away from a smug Reina. 

God, he was just a guy; how did you get so head-over-heels after just one night? It had to be the fact that you'd been texting him nonstop over the past few days. Though you were busy and exhausted, you continued to check your phone all throughout the days and stayed up long into the nights just to talk to him. He had you hook, line, and sinker. 

At some point, you'd forgotten what Yura warned you about on Saturday. 

Your friends picked you and Reina up in one of their family minivans. A round of greetings went up as you clambered in behind Reina, and your friend asked where her cousin was tonight if she wasn't carpooling with the rest of you. 

“She said she was at her sorority friend's house,” Sieun said offhandedly from the driver's seat. The minivan door closed on its own with a mechanical whirring sound. “She's probably at the party already.”

Some nights, parties called for a pregame session, while others (not unlike this one) was attacked raw. Sieun parked the minivan about a block outside of Greek row where there were spaces between cars along the curbs and where there was less of a chance of her accidentally running over a drunk partygoer stumbling into the street. The party was already in full swing with neon green strobe lights blazing aggressively through the front windows, and Gasolina blasting at nothing less than one hundred percent speaker volume. 

You felt your phone vibrate in your hand as Reina grabbed your hand to avoid instantly losing you in the crowd. 

@/yskang99: im on the second floor where there's less people 😋😋 they've got a nice balcony we can hide on!!

“Mark said they've got spiked Capri Sun somewhere in here!” Reina shouted into your ear. 

You nodded your head vigorously. “Let's find it then!”

@/studioyn: gonna grab hard caprisun and then head up!! do u want some??

@/yskang99: surprise me w a flavor, pretty pls x

You grinned to yourself and slid your phone into your purse to focus on the task at hand. 

The NCT fraternity house wasn't a completely unknown landscape to you and Reina. Being friends with one of its brothers and friends-by-association with all the rest, you'd popped by more than a few times. You could likely navigate this house with your eyes closed; that was what it was like weaving through the dark rooms and throngs of people squeezed together like sardines in a can, anyway. 

Along yours and Reina's trek to the kitchen, you gained a couple people in your conga line of linked hands, NCT's own Xiaojun and Jungwoo. NCT frat brothers always pregamed, so the two brothers were already tipsy and giggled about your kindergarten field trip line (with Reina being dubbed the poor kindergarten teacher tasked with keeping you together). 

When you arrived at your destination, it didn't take long for you to lose both Xiaojun and Jungwoo to the game of Texas Hold 'Em being played at the breakfast table. The singular lightbulb overheard made it feel like a smoke-filled backdoor gambling den. 

“Aha!” You cheered after playing a game of mystery cooler roulette, and opened the cooler lid that held the spiked Capri Sun juice pouches on ice. 

“Mine!” Reina snatched up the last cherry flavored one, the shiny aluminum slippery and ice-cold as she impaled the opening with the thin, yellow straw. 

You grabbed a Pacific Cooler flavored pouch for yourself, and a second for Yeosang. 

“Ah, is that for the man of your dreams?” Reina said between sips, her pouch already half empty. 

You sent her a look. “He has good taste, which means he'll probably appreciate Pacific Cooler as much as I do.”

“As long as it's not lemonade,” came a voice to your left. There stood a rather tall and lean man, his warm smile enunciated by the dim kitchen lighting as the green strobe lights from the living room painted across his face. “I can't deal with sour shit,” he explained, making a face. 

You laughed. “That's valid. Fruit Punch is a classic though.”

“Can't argue with that,” he replied, leaning down to pick his poison for the night. He stabbed a straw into his pouch of strawberry kiwi juice, then arched an eyebrow at you. “I feel like I know you. Do I know you?”

“Hey,” Reina chimed in as she leaned over your shoulder, “you're with the ATZ frat, aren't you? I recognize you from Twister last week.”

He smiled sheepishly from around his straw. “Ah… haha, not my best moment, but yes. I'm Yunho.”

“Reina,” your friend replied. 

“Yn,” you added on. 

Yunho's expression jerked as if he'd just been delivered an electric shock. He waved his pointer finger at you. “Oh my god, you're Yeosang's girl!”

Your eyes shuddered in surprise. Yeosang's girl. “Sorry?” You stammered. There was an insane amount of possessive pronouns being used tonight, buy you definitely weren't complaining about it, and could he perhaps say that again—

“Yeah, he won't shut up about you.” Yunho slurped up the rest of his juice pouch, draining and flattening the life out of it in record time. “He loves Pacific Cooler, by the way.”

He took his leave then, saying nothing else to you and Reina except for shooting you a pair of finger guns like saying 'go get em, tiger!’

Reina wheezed, draping herself over you for a moment. “Oh—my god! Good thing Yeosang's just as down in the trenches as you are.”

“Don't do this to me, Reina,” you whined and dragged her along out of the kitchen toward the second floor staircase. “I don't need encouragement; the crush is enough!”

“It's never enough,” she declared with her pointer finger up in the sky. “You are gone, my friend! Gone, I say.”

You patted her head as you both began your ascent up the stairs. “Alrighty; then gone, I am. Do you remember where the balcony is on this floor?”

She hummed. “Ooh! Somewhere by Johnjae's room, abouts. I just remember because Mark told us how—”

“Right—the sophomore year Romeo and Juliet reenactment,” you snorted. You couldn't wrap your head around the batshit crazy things that occurred around these parts. “Who convinced Doyoung to play Paris anyway?”

She made a noncommittal noise. “Must've been bribed—oh, there it is, but I think there's a couple out there already…”

There was most definitely a couple on the balcony. Their outlines were silhouettes against the residual strobe lights shining up from downstairs, so it was a little too dark to make out who they were. They seemed close—the girl was all over the boy, the latter trying to hold her up by her waist. Maybe she'd had too much to drink, and for a moment, you were glad someone was taking care of her. 

But when she leaned in for a kiss, green light glanced across their faces to reveal their features to you. It was only a split second, but it was all you needed. 

“Reina,” you exhaled in shock, turning away from the balcony with enough speed to nearly give you whiplash. 

She didn't question you, as you both careened back down the hall from where you came from, heading for one of the open bedrooms on this floor to collect yourselves. When the two of you were out of earshot of the balcony, she hissed under her breath in utter disbelief, “Yura?”

You'd seen it nearly clear as day, too. That was Yura kissing Yeosang. 

Your head spun as you shouldered your way into Mark's and Haechan's room, their names plastered on the door in foam letter stickers from the craft store. As Reina closed the door and turned on the lights, you sat down in Mark's desk chair attempting to make sense of what you and Reina just witnessed. 

Yeosang and Yura? But wasn't Yura the one who warned you that chasing after Yeosang was a risk because of how many others were, as well? Why would… 

Oh. 

Well, now you just felt stupid. 

Reina dragged over Haechan's desk chair to settle in front of you, her expression less enraged than before, and more concerned over what she was reading off of your face. “Hey, don't do that. Don't think like that.”

“You don't know what I'm thinking,” you murmured, setting the untouched juice pouches on the desk. 

“You're thinking that you're stupid.” 

“Okay, maybe you do know what I'm thinking.” You inhaled, then exhaled slowly, leaning forward onto your knees. “I don't really know what to think or assume.”

Reina nodded, chewing on her bottom lip. “That's okay. I don't think I really understand what I saw either.”

“But that was Yura, right?”

She bobbed her head again. “That was my cousin, yeah.”

“Would it be fair to even think that she told me all that shit last week to discourage me from seeing him?” You didn't enjoy thinking that another person would have such malicious intentions without understanding their point of view, especially someone you considered yourself friends with. 

“Well,” Reina drawled, “I think we both saw what we saw, and Yura was acting strangely about it on Saturday. It would be fair if you were hurt by it; I think your feelings have been clear.”

You gave a small nod. “Do you think he…?”

“I'm not sure, hon.” 

You resolved to talk to him about it. If anything, you had these juice pouches left to console yourself, but you wanted to make sure you knew where his feelings laid. You would be lying if you said your heart didn't harbor even a glimmer of hope that this was all a misunderstanding, and that the kiss was an accident and didn't matter. 

You and Reina left the relative safety of Mark and Haechan's bedroom to go find Yeosang. There weren't any new messages between either of you since the Capri Sun exchange, and you thought about texting him on his whereabouts. 

The balcony by Johnny and Jaehyun's room was empty now, barren of any evidence somebody was there in the first place. 

You and Reina wandered back down to the main floor. The party was nowhere near over; the night was still young. Hope was sinking fast in your stomach as the two of you traveled from room to room in search of him, but with no luck. Even asking around was useless. 

“Text him,” Reina encouraged, as the two of you sipped on the juice pouches that were supposed to be for you and him. 

She held your spiked juice while you texted him. 

As time passed, and a response had yet to come through, you tossed yours and Reina's flattened Capri Sun pouches into the nearest garbage can.

If he wasn't going to answer, then maybe you would just go home for the night. You had a lot to think about. 

Defeated, you let Reina sweep you under her arm and guide you to the front door. “Let's go home, hm?” She said, rubbing your shoulder. 

On your way to the front door, you paused. You thought you heard someone calling your name—

You turned around to find Mark barreling toward you through the crowd with another guy at his side. “Mark?” You shouted over the music. 

“Hey, we've been looking all over for you,” he said. Nodding to his friend, he told you, “This is Wooyoung, by the way, the ATZ brother I'm friends with.”

“Yeosang's been looking for you,” Wooyoung said in earnest, eyes as wide as Mark's. Had they been looking for you as much as you were looking for Yeosang?

Something like hope sparked in your chest again—you were at odds. The fight had nearly dissipated from your blood and you were ready to go home. But if he was trying to find you… it must be worth it then, right?

“Where is he?” You asked. 

It was nearing midnight by the time you settled yourself on the concrete curb outside the ATZ frat house just down the block from the target being thrown at the NCT house. With everyone over there, no wonder it was quiet enough to finally hear yourself think. With the coming of deep autumn, a slight breeze wafted by that drifted over your skin and raised goosebumps on your arms. 

You heard gravel crunching from behind you, coming down the ATZ driveway, and before you could turn your head to look, a warm jacket was placed over your shoulders. You held your breath, fingers finding the lapel to keep it from slipping as you glanced over at your counterpart. 

Yeosang lowered himself onto the curb next to you, mimicking your position with his knees bent and arms resting upon them. “I—my phone died,” he said lowly. 

“Oh.” That took care of at least two of your questions. 

“Is there—” He stopped himself, amending his statement, “There's something on your mind.”

Understatement of the century. You pulled his jacket around you, the intertwining scents of alcohol and his cologne lingering on the collar. “I was going to meet you at the balcony, and I was there, but… but I saw you and Yura, and…”

It was his turn to say “oh.” He angled his body toward you now until his knees bumped against yours and he was muttering out an apology he didn't need to say. He laid his upper body over his arms that were folded onto his knees and peered up at you through lengthy lashes.

He was waiting for you to finish. 

You swallowed, following his lead and turning your body toward him. “I saw her kiss you,” you said, the sound barely audible to anybody but you and him. “Reina and I went somewhere to kind of just soak in what we saw, and then we went back out to find you so I could talk to you about it, but we couldn't find you.”

“I'm sorry you had to see that,” he murmured, eyebrows furrowed together. “It—it didn't mean anything. She did try to kiss me, but I pushed her away before she could.”

You believed him. You loosened a small chuckle from your lips. “Y'know, it sounds silly to me now, but last week she told me that there were a number of girls who were pursing you and were very aggressive about it.”

He snorted. “If there were any, I only know of one.”

“She…?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, lips pursing. “I know she's liked me for a while, but I've made it clear I don't see her the same way. At last Friday's party, I was actually trying to lose her in the crowd when I found you.”

Your eyes widened. “So she was there?” Then Reina had actually seen her cousin at the party; Yura had lied about where she was. 

“She told me tonight that she was scared about me liking you more than her,” Yeosang said as he lifted his body back up to rest his cheek against his fist. “She was really drunk—which was why you probably saw me trying to hold her up—and then she… tried to kiss me. I pushed her away, and one of her friends found us, so I handed her over and went to get some air.”

And that was why you couldn't find him. You released a breath you didn't realize you were holding in. “Are you—are you okay? I'm so sorry she did that to you.” 

The corners of his lips tugged upward in a reassuring smile. “I'm alright, thank you. And it's not your fault.”

“I know, but still,” you insisted. “Your boundaries were violated, and it makes me feel so icky that I've called her a friend of mine, and—what?” 

Your words came to a screeching halt when you realized that Yeosang was just smiling at you. Or rather, gazing at you, admiring you. It was whatever he did whenever his eyes possessed a set of twin jewels in his irises that needed no light to glitter like gold; and when his grin softened at the corners by a tenderness that knocked the wind out of you, all words and systems failed you. 

You recognized this look, except this time, you weren't drunk. 

“I'm really happy I met you,” he said in your silence. “And I'm happy I got to see you again.”

You nearly melted. You smiled back at him, replying quietly, “Couldn’t have said it any better. Thank you for being honest with me.”

“And thank you for believing me.” He reached for your hand, his movements slow as if giving you an opening to pull back if you wanted to. But you didn't, and you closed the remaining space to link your fingers and press your palms together. 

You and Yeosang shared mutual smiles in the dim lighting outside his fraternity house. Your heart beat had quickened a considerable amount now that he was so close to you again. 

You cleared your throat. "Just to be clear though—when you said she was scared about you liking me more than her—?"

His smile reached his eyes and turned them into upturned crescent moons. "I'm not scared," he said, "that I like you more than I have ever liked her." By a landslide.

Your heart gave a lurch in your chest. "Good," you smiled. "That's good, because I like you a whole lot, too."

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Yeosang inclined his chin toward where his car was parked a couple vehicles down. “Properly this time, now that we're not completely wasted?”

You laughed. “I would love nothing more.”

Pleased, he helped you to your feet. You must have stood up far too quickly though, because the blood rushed up to your head in a riptide current. You swore as the vertigo hit you, and your footing stumbled. 

“Woah, careful there, pretty,” he murmured, his low voice by your ear as he steadied you with one hand pressed between your shoulder blades and the other around your waist. 

Oh, there went your heart… it flew up to halo around Yeosang's head, and it wasn't yours anymore—

“You okay?” He mused. 

You cleared your throat, straightening. “Yeah, I'm great,” you said sheepishly, ducking your head toward your chest. 

A warm, fond chuckle left his mouth. “Cute,” he murmured. He lifted your chin up so you would look at him, his eyes darting down toward your mouth, and yours mirroring his movements. “I was wondering…”

“You can kiss me,” you blurted out, ignoring the utter leap in your pulse and the heat crawling up the back of your neck. 

You tasted his smile as he leaned over to seal his mouth over your own, a long awaited return to the place that felt just right. You breathed him in, inhaled him, devoured him whole—you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to pull him closer just as his hands pressed you flush against him. 

In the distance against the heavy house music in the background, a cheer went up into the night sky. 

You and Yeosang parted only to crane your heads in the direction of the noise, only to find what looked like a gathering of your friends and his friends hooting and applauding like it was New Years. 

“OPERATION: PASSENGER PRINCESS WINS!” The guy from earlier, Wooyoung, practically howled up at the sky. 

You pressed your face against Yeosang's shoulder as he groaned. “I am so sorry about them,” he chuckled through a grimace, lips grazing over your crown. 

You laughed along with him. “My friends are also among the guilty party, Yeo.” 

He kept his arm around your waist and you kept your head against his shoulder as the two of you walked away from your friends and toward his car. Contentment curled itself up over your chest again, and it nestled in deep, as if it planned to stay awhile. 

“By the way,” you piped up as he unlocked his car. 

“Mhm?”

You opened the passenger side door and leaned over the top of it to ask, “What the hell is Operation: Passenger Princess?” 

Yeosang sputtered out a laugh and his cheekbones burned red. “How about we save that for our third date?”

You blinked, lips parting. 

Yeosang grinned impishly. “Close that mouth, pretty, or I'll close it for you.”

Your jaw snapped closed, and his laugh echoed against the houses along this street. You climbed into the car after him, flustered beyond words. “I don't like you,” was all you could come up with. 

“I'm sure you don't.”

a/n: pls remember to reblog + comment if you enjoyed! also, the plan is to try and write another wooyo frat au as well, so pray for me...

atz m.list

permanent taglist: @flwoie @vatterie @seomisaho @hqrana @ja4hyvn @outrologist @rikizm @luumiinaa @tinkerbell460 @meosjinn @hyunjaespresent-deobi @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @floatingpluto @gyulfriend @jaehunnyy @shakalakaboomboo @soonyoungblr @justanotherkpopstanlol @kangfication @pxppxrminty @fluorescentloves @haechansbbg @jaerisdiction @super-btstrash-posts @jundundun @http-gyu @mvvnsseul @mars101 @synthwxve @empire-x @kflixnet @atzhouse @cromernet

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

What do you think of season 2 of arcane? i've seen quite... a contrasting reaction from the public when compared to the reaction that s1 got

[cracks knuckles] ok, first some context: I was, and still am, largely unfamiliar with the League of Legends video games, which probably colors my perception of Arcane as a whole. The first season was incredible. 10/10 no notes. It's a masterpiece of animation hands down. One of its many strengths is that it sticks to a self-contained story that does not require lore knowledge or even knowledge of who the characters from the games are. It's a character drama wrapped in a steampunk/sci-fi/fantasy aesthetic. It tells a grounded story that follows its characters as their arcs play out all the way through to the end. I love it and habitually rewatched it while waiting for season 2.

...And then season 2 came and it kinda went. I enjoyed the season. The animation, music, voice acting, all incredible and it's what makes the season a joyride. But that's pretty much what it is. A joyride. That grounded story and character drama was largely dropped for bigger stakes and it feels like the season lost the plot. You were invested in the Zaun/Piltover conflict? Let's have Jayce give a half-assed speech about working together to defeat a common enemy and give Sevika a token seat at the councillors' table. You wanted to see how Jinx and Vi's relationship developed after the bombing? Well, Vi says "my sister is gone." Until Vander/Warwick shows up. But they don't really talk about their relationship or how much they've both changed. They're just cool with each other know.

Did you want to see how Jinx deals with the fallout of killing her father figure and embracing the role of the Mad Bomber? Well, she kinda mopes for a bit. Finds a street urchin that magically cures her of her mental instability. oops, street urchin is dead. Jinx is depressed now. fun. It's not like the marketing lead us to believe that Jinx was going to be an actual antagonist, right?

right?

Now, I know trailers and posters can be misleading but come on. Season 1 ended with her fully becoming Jinx and I feel like she was more Jinx-like there than in season 2.

We got less of the sisters than in the first season despite being the emotional core of the story. Part of that is the escalating conflict and having far too many antagonists. We have Ambessa, Viktor, and the Black Rose and they all take up too much screen time (this last one was a huge ??? for me as a noob to the games. Actually, Mel's whole arc in season 2 was so divorced from season 1 that it feels like they just gave her magic powers just so she could participate in the fight). The other part is that when the sisters are together, they don't really say or do anything meaningful. The dialogue is rather boilerplate and there's no emotional weight to their scenes. It's just there.

That's really my problem with season 2 as a whole, it just feels like it's ticking off boxes to get to the big action sequences, and even some of those felt superfluous (did we really need a fight scene with Smeech? Smeech? Who the fuck is he and why should we care?). The funny thing is that, there are a lot of good ideas here. Jinx feeling conflicted about suddenly being seen as a symbol of the people? Awesome! Caitlyn falling under the sway of Ambessa as she mourns her mother and gasses innocent civilians in her mad pursuit of Jinx? Great! Viktor slowly losing his humanity and becoming the Machine Herald while Jayce struggles to right what they have wronged and get his friend back? Excellent! The problem is that they're all crammed together and don't get room to breathe, so everything is rushed and unsatisfactory.

When your first season ends with four people at a dinner table that explores their character dynamics and your second season's climax looks like a Marvel movie, there's a problem.

(also, side tangent: Silco and Vander's backstory was shoddy and contradictory. Making them BFFs with Vi and Jinx's mom was a bad idea. It cheapens Vander's decision to leave behind a life of violence and adopt two orphans. It introduces a plot hole that Silco wasn't around for the kids' childhood and makes that moment when he tries to kill Powder extra weird. PLUS, we have the ever lovely trope of fridging a woman and making her the catalyst of conflict between two male characters 😒

although this season did make me ship these two, so there's that👍)

(another mini tangent: I'm not fond of making a time traveling Viktor the one who gave baby Jayce the rune stone. That scene was one of my favorites from season 1 and the mage actually being Viktor just makes the world feel smaller and less enigmatic YMMV).

So there you have it. An overall okay season but one that pales in comparison to its predecessor.

[lo-shouldve-been-an-email]

Okay,since I’ve just randomly randomly just reblogging Thanatos things,I decided to actually post things,more specifically an LO rewrite because f it.

At its core I do think LO is a good story,just that bad writing has squandered any potential it has to be good,so please have my take on this.(more specifically my take on Persephone,hades,and Thanatos because I have to stay on brand)

Anyways-

(The sequel)

Persephone:

She’s older.shes physically in her late 20’s/early 30’s and about seven to eight centuries older.

Her AoW only extended to those ransacking the garden.(I swear,it would have been so much more understandable to root for her if it only extended to 4-5 people instead of an ENTIRE CITY,since we know other gods have done much worse)

Her work in the underworld was mandated by Zeus as community service for the AoW.

This is more or less Zeus hitting two birds with one stone,he gets perse to make community service and maybe(hopefully) gets hades to open up to the smucks outside of the underworld because he now has an employee not from there.

Due to her guilt about the AoW,she decides that while she’s working in the underworld she’ll set out to be the best her she can be and make up for the souls she took.

At first nobody really likes her and they just think she’s someone who needed to be dragged here by Zeus and won’t amount to anything,but she ends up being the hardest working of the staff and getting a fairly infamous “employee of the month” streak,her only real fumble being Sisyphus(of which she rightfully corrected totally not being getting Hermes to drag his ass down back to the underworld and give his his infamous punishment,of which instantly gave her back any respect she lost.

She’s the type of person you think you can disrespect until she gets genuinely mad at someone,in which case everyone goes out of their way to be nice to her even though it takes a lot to get her mad.

Demeter never sheltered her,just that she heard from her mother and brother(oh yeah Plutus is in this au their twins) about the shit that happened up their(even saw it for herself a few times)and decided to nope out of that drama.

She likes the underworld a more than Olympus due to the fact people don’t get butthurt nearly as much,due to them needing to deal with crap from other gods and sometimes mortals(like Sisyphus)

Demeter was an amazing mama and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Plutus told her about the underworld so she does know a bit,but otherwise it’s a cultural shock.

She brings homemade baklava in every day of work.

She actually sent a letter to Demeter telling her about the community service…however she never got it thanks to a certain daughter of Nyx always dead set on causing discord.

Hades:

It took him two solid seconds to realize what Zeus’ plan was with Persephone so he initially looked for any reason to fire her,until he learned she was here for community service and just decided to wait out her punishment(jokes on him Zeus forgot to tell perse what her sentence was so she worked in the underworld for like a year until demeter found her when in reality she was supposed to be there for like two months)

He does eventually soften up to her(obviously) but it takes a while and a lot of baklava.

Honest to god I have no idea how to incorporate minthe in this au

Leuce is his dead wife,she died fairly recently so he’s still hesitant to connect with anyone.(“I miss my wife,Thanatos,I miss her a lot I’ll be back-“)

Recently he’s been coping via sinking into his work,Hecate and the others have taken notice but they don’t really know what to do.(their the ones that CAUSE death not deal with it)

He slowly started distancing himself from the rest of his family after the titanomachy and even more so after leuce died.

The only person he acts openly soft around is Thanatos,who he views as a son.

The only part of his extended family he interacts with is Hermes,who he actually has a really good relationship with(albeit still strained since leuce)

Fuck it.everyone has flowers symbolism.

Hades is white lilies(subject to change),perse is asphodels,thanatos(and Hypnos) is poppies,leuce is forget-me-nots,Demeter is daylilies,Plutus is orchids,Hecate is nightshades or cow parsley.

Thanatos:

He genuinely finds it hard to focus on doing his job,so people just call him lazy,so he doesn’t really try to set the bar high in return because he knows he’ll just end up disappointing everyone.

The only person who doesn’t have low expectations and wants him to try his best at his own rate is hades,who understands he finds it hard to focus but still wants him to try his best anyways.

Rotates between living with hades and Nyx(who is an extremely doting mother.

Hypnos still resides within the hr department and Thanatos helps him hide because the last thing he needs is a grumpy Hypnos.

He deals with peaceful deaths while Hermes and the keres deal with the rest.

He’s the type of person to tell himself one moment he’s gonna be really productive today and then spend the next fifteen minutes chatting away with a butterfly.

Also he can talk to butterflies.but nobody believes him except Hermes,perse,and Nyx.

The moment he finds out what Eris did she gets the “WHY WOULD YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?!?!!?” Of her life.then queue Thanatos and the other Nyx children present trying to get her to explain why she thought this was a good idea and her just saying “bc it’s funny”

Erebus = dad with no physical body who still interact with me via shadows.hades = dad with physical body who I want to impress but I don’t know how.

(If you didn’t catch on he has adhd)

[my-pjo-stuff]

MORE OF THE POSSESIVE ANNABETH AU PLEASASEE ITS SO GOOD

LMAO OKOKOKOKOKOK, SO- I don't think it needs to be said that there would be MAJOR outrage at the wish. I mean not only did Annabeth just demand Artemis' lieutenant but she also straight up wanted to bring someone back from the underworld. And Luke no less! Thalia would certainly not react well either. I mean, just imagine being her and standing in that room for a moment. You just fought a war and lost a LOT of people, not even mentioning all the hurt and the drama coming from your ex-best friend turned enemy turned titan lord turned hero (???). And now think about how she must feel hearing the girl who she views as a sister not only demanding for Luke to be revived- but also for her to not only be kicked from the Hunters of Artemis but for her memories to be erased.

Do I even need to say that Thalia isn't taking that well? She's just straight up asking Annabeth what she thinks she is doing. What she thinks gives her the right to demand something like that.

Annabeth just looks her dead in the eyes and says that they belong to her. They are her family, they promised to be her family. She's only demanding the promise to be fulfilled. They'll be more happy like that anyway. I mean, getting to camp was the original plan to begin with, right? Luke was happy before Kronos got to him, and she only joined the hunters to avoid the prophecy anyway. It wouldn't matter anymore for Thalia and Luke to be at camp with her. Luke fulfilled his role in the prophecy, and Thalia no longer is part of it. Annabeth, like Percy, was smart enough to let the gods swear on the styx to fulfill her wish. So even despite all protest from Thalia and other gods, they are forced to give Annabeth what she wants.

And she's overjoyed to have it. She's the happiest she's ever been. Her and Percy return to camp after making their wish, which has both the 17 y/o Luke and Thalia mysteriously appear on it's border unconscious.

Annabeth wastes no time explaining to everyone what happened and telling everyone that they are forbidden from telling the two what truly happened.

Instead both Thalia and Luke are fed a fake story. They are told about the second Titan War, but instead of being told how it truly happened, they are told an altered version of it. Luke fought on the gods' side during the battle and did so bravely. Unfortunately though he was hit with some sort of magical attack that deaged him back to 17. After the battle Annabeth was granted a wish by the gods, which she used to bring Thalia back from being a tree. And that's how the two of them ended up like that.

No one can really correct the story based on the gods', but that doesn't mean they they aren't weirded out by a 17 y/o Luke walking around camp. Luke chalks it up to them being weirded out by him being "deaged"- which, yeah it isn't wrong. But it certainly isn't the main reason for the weird behavior. Pretty much everyone is walking around on eggshells around the three of them at all times. Not that Annabeth really cares, she's got her family back and that's all that matters to her so far. Luke and Thalia both were reasonably weirded out and a bit unsettled at first from "waking up in the future", but they settled well enough after a while. They're happy, and they are together. Just like Annabeth wanted.

[absolutebl]

Hey Abl, trust you are well. So I took a month off bl to deal with life stuff and upon my return there's a lot of new shows and I'm feeling overwhelmed and need to prioritize. What should I start with that started airing in late October/November? Spanx!

BL Quick Picks - End of 2023 Releases

That finished its run? Sorry I don't keep that close track of things ending but stuff I loved that ended relatively recently as follows. (I'm giving you a range of styles to suit your mood.)

Felling light and fluffy?

Jun & Jun

(Korea Viki)

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy (sometimes even raunchy) script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else. 9/10

Feeling complex and drama llama?

I Feel You Linger in the Air

(Thailand grey, YT for some)

I truly loved this time travel romance. IFYLITA is an exquisite BL, from filming techniques to narrative framework (much like Until We Meet Again). Steeped in history and family drama it edges into lakorn (but no as much as To Sir With Love and with way less scenery chewing). This is an elegant and classy BL… from Thailand which normally doesn't even try for classy. The main couple (both as a pair and individuals) were excellent, particularly Bright (Yai) whose eye-work acting style is a personal favorite of mine. Pity about the ending. Oh it wasn’t that sad but it wasn’t good either. This show should easily have earned a 10 from me except that it fumbled the… erm… balls. Argh. Whatever. 9/10

Feeling odd and chaotic?

Why R U?

(Korea iQIYI)

Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, slightly confusing, uneven chemistry, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just … what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate it? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell? 8/10

Feeling dark and complex?

Tokyo in April is AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa

(Japan Viki)

Two young men with a shared tragic past reunite and fall in love all over again, but the past will not stop hunting them. Based on a manga, this office set reunion romance is GREAT… damn it. It’s Japan in full on soft focus which means it gets emo, abusive, and chewy. These two characters are giving parts of their souls away in a desperate attempt to shape themselves to the expectations they have of each other. Japan gave us the Bed Friends that Thailand could never even imagine. But here’s the thing: I don’t enjoy my BL this heavy and cutting. I know that for The 8th Sense crowd this is peak BL and I can’t argue with the fact that the romantic devotion, domesticity, script, and acting IS all on point. It’s just not my personal preference for that point to be so damn sharp. I appreciate that this being 2023 I have the luxury of consistent quality (especially from Japan) and thus the ability to say… I acknowledge that this SHOULD get a 9/10 but I can’t emotionally go higher than 8/10

Feeling sappy and in need of comfort?

Stay By My Side

(Taiwan Viki)

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10 

Feeling sexy?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho

(Japan Gaga)

I liked it a lot and it's classic yaoi of the kind that really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat from Japan and well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's good, but watching requires more patience than usual, even from Japan. 8/10

Feeling sweet and earnest?

Sing My Crush

(Korea iQIYI)

This a cute coming of age drama around music and 2 kinds of self acceptance and actualization journeys. This was basically Korea’s version of About Youth, and was perhaps a bit too soft and ungrounded by comparison, like a marshmallow sculpture. Sweet but somewhat lacking in discernible flavor. 8/10

If you want to know what I'm enjoying that's airing right now, I'm mot yet caught up this week but I have time today so the weekly ranking will drop in a few hours. But I can tell you with confidence that very little is likely to unseat...

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thailand iQiyi)

from my affections right now. I love it unconditionally and it's airing on iQIYI.

[utilitycaster]

I don't know how you feel about it, but I was extremely frustrated last night when I found out that break was called after around 3 hours. I just felt that at that point they should have just made it a Crown Keepers episode instead of promising that BH would be back and then them barely being in the episode. I don't know, I'm usually really go with the flow with CRs creative choices, but this was just a real big swing and a miss for me. I wish this had all just been its own episode

So here's my feelings:

My thoughts on EXU Prime, and later Kymal, were that I love the player characters and their relationships and much of the worldbuilding (notably all of Niirdal-Poc and the Qoniira Tetrarchy) and I liked many of Aabria's NPCs but there were some pretty big gaps left in "what the fuck is going on" that left me feeling as though I wouldn't mind seeing the characters again but I didn't feel strongly about continuing the story in-world, if that makes sense. The Aevilux reveal, for example, was sort of what the main plot of EXU Prime hinged upon (ie, that was Myr'atta Niselor's motivation; that was what the deal with Ted was) and so the fact that didn't come out for over 2.5 years irl after it ended meant I'd just kind of said "well, some weirdo from Syngorn really wanted to do shit to Opal for some reason related to her sister, who is also her patron, and we don't know why either of these things is the case, and I guess that's what happened" and made my peace with it. Similarly, I don't know what the Nameless Ones want, and never have (other than, at one point, the circlet of barbed vision, and I don't know why they want it). I made a joke that Myr'atta, Poska, and Otohan are all kind of the same and honestly that is the thing: if you don't know why a villain is doing something - even if the reason is "because I love to be evil and terrible!" it's hard to care, and if those are only villains, it's hard to be invested in the story about the heroes either, even if you like the heroes as characters.

When I say I like how this ended, I mean it - I think it could have gone only a few ways, but I like that Morrighan and Opal have both become divine champions, Morrighan willingly and Opal less so (this is yet another case of "the gods don't do take-backsies on oaths", but also, I do feel for Opal despite it all because of Aimee's excellent work throughout). I mentioned how I felt about the exact details of Cyrus's death but I don't mind that he's dead. Fy'ra was a highlight throughout, as she frequently is, and I think she was faced with two extremely unpleasant choices and made a fascinating decision. But I'd have preferred to see this as a flashback (see next paragraph) or like. Just decide what happened. If I'm being extremely honest a lot of my issues with the Crown Keepers portion is that it felt like there was a very specific desired ending (Opal's complete corruption and Cyrus's death); I also said at some point well before that you can only do so much with the Crown Keepers while Dariax is there because Matt does, even if he's turning his brain off to play our Charisma-only kinda short king, know all the cheat codes for the main campaign. It's kind of like why how, even if the DM will control an absent player during RP, they usually have another player control in combat.

I don't mind that the Bells Hells portion was short. I think the choice to break where they did makes sense given everything else that went on. But I think that, criticism of the actual Crown Keepers portion aside, while you might have lost some of your audience for a Crown Keepers-only episode on the main feed, you would have preserved the drama of FCG's death better and gotten people more excited for the Crown Keepers if you had essentially run things exactly as done here but then just cut the two episodes together, which, as a pre-taped medium, they can now do! Hindsight is again 20-20 but: Run the first half of 92 as is. Break and tape a full Crown Keepers episode. Return to Bells Hells and narrate the message back from Dorian saying he'll be there, play out the rest of Bells Hells in the camp dealing with FCG's death, and then have Dorian arrive at the very end of that episode and end the episode when the party asks him what's been going on with him, then reveal there will be a Crown Keepers episode. Air your full Crown Keepers episode as episode 93, and then return to the main campaign with 94. It would have been better balanced in terms of time, people who wanted the Crown Keepers to return would have gotten hyped up, and people who dislike them or are neutral would have at least known what to expect and frankly if they skip the episode that's their choice to make. Hell, since there were 2 weeks? Could have even been like "hey, we'll do a Crown Keepers Marathon on Twitch and Youtube on some random weekday" to build up some hype!

So overall my answer is that I agree this wasn't a great creative choice. I don't think this means they shouldn't take big swings! But some will be misses and this was, while not an entire miss for me, at best a walk.

[eleanorfenyx]

I have finished Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and here are some of my thoughts! (Obviously not spoiler free)

The cases are absolutely batshit insane and I loved it every single time they were like 'we totally collected this evidence that incriminates a secret suspect, just believe us and also don't question when the fuck we had the time to do this or when we figured out that we needed to look for it'. 10/10 no notes, that's a hilarious way to have a genius detective. Show us nothing, tell us everything, YES king.

That being said, I could have done with a lot less standing around having the supporting cast repeat whatever Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing announce, maybe in an attempt to make sure their genius is clear for the audience? I get it, but at the same time it felt a little too hand-holdy for me, especially in scenes where LLH and FDB had already discussed their findings between themselves before presenting them to the concerned bystanders. I can read between the lines (or else understand what has just been explicitly stated) without having every conclusion filtered through a slightly different sentence structure to make sure I got it.

Di Feisheng amnesia arc my fuckin beloved

Di Feisheng destroying his 'father' and freeing everyone in Di manor in a vicious act of catharsis that tied nicely into the main Nanyin bug-mind-control-thing narrative my beloved

Di Feisheng my beloved

The amount of times I was like...genuinely surprised he and Li Lianhua didn't kiss is both embarrassing (because I do in fact understand censorship and what I sign up for with these dramas and yet and yet) and numerous enough that I could...possibly...theoretically..write a 5+1 fic of every time I want them to kiss about it. No one hold me to that but it's something I think I'd like to do.

Re: the above point: because what the FUCK was that ending?!!! EXCUSE ME?! I gotta FIX THAT SHIT.

There will come a day when the strength of my hope for an unambiguously happy ending in a queer(-coded? is the source originally bl or is this its own thing?) wuxia drama is rewarded....but it is not this day. I must fix this myself.

Jiao Liqiao's laugh is one of the most annoying things I've ever heard. I was reaaaaally hoping someone would just up and stab her during one of her little evil laughing fits. At one point I was shouting "KILL HER, KILL HER" at my screen because I could NOT take anymore of her (unfortunately, I did in fact have to take more of her).

I still think her insistence on being obsessed with DFS is hysterical when he is so VISIBLY only interested in LLH. Explicitly STATES that his only life purpose is to fuck fight LLH again. Babygirl (derogatory) he is so fucking gay let's get you a nice knife to the gut instead, okay?

I thought the whole Shan Gudao plot was interesting, going from looking desperately for his body -> putting him to rest -> hunting for his murderer -> finding out he's alive/the mastermind behind everything going wrong (which I was proud of myself for realizing before the reveal, I'm normally bad at that) -> thwarting him with sass and superior martial arts at every possible turn -> killing him stone fuckin dead with beginner level skills because he's so up his own hole he can't see that's what's happening - was really fun!

He also has a SUPER annoying laugh he can fuck off

OH OH OH MARTIAL ARTS SKILL OF TRANS YOUR GENDER?! I MARRIED HER SO HER AFFAIRS ARE MY BUSINESS NOT YOURS??? ASKING YOUR WIFE FOR HER FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING AS YOU LAY DYING AND SHE GIVES IT TO YOU?????? OKAYYYYYYY

The twist at the end that LLH is the one with royal blood was so funny to me. Like it's a good twist and I love that Shan Gudao was just quite literally always a fuckin try-hard loser in ways he didn't even know, but also it was SO funny. Granny coming in clutch at the last fuckin minute with secret knowledge she just literally never shared.

LLH is such a smooth motherfucker. Shame about his insistence on dying when quite literally everyone (bar the people who suck) is begging this man to just live. Just LIVE DAMN IT!!!!! I really liked it when FDB begs him to just consider his own life as important for ONCE and remember that people care about him because YES his self-sacrificing and committment to Chilling Out Farmer Style was not the mercy he thought it was!

LIVE AND GROW OLD WITH DI FEISHENG YOU DAMN IDIOT (the likelihood of me resisting the urge to write at least the one fic for them is zero to none)

Unironically love spitting up blood as a plot device and this show is no different. The Drama. The Panache. The desperation of everyone around you because you have BLOOD coming out of your MOUTH and you are FAINTING. Poison acting up? Spit blood. Someone bitch slap you with their magical palm ability? Spit blood. Get stressed? Spit blood. Get stabbed? Spit blood. It's always good!

Okay I think that might be all I've got for now, if I think of anything else I'll add them in a reblog. I thoroughly enjoyed it, would definitely recommend!

[thecorvidcurio-if]

Thoughts On Love

"What do you think love is?"

These are their answers before their routes are played. Their answers afterwards will be under the cut.

Vicente

"Love is providing for those you care about. It’s attending their needs and ensuring their safety and happiness. Love is putting those you care for before yourself."

Abby

"Love is uhhhh... I dunno! All I really have t’go on is what everyone else says, ‘n they all say different things! It's in songs ‘n stuff, uhhh— Oh! Right, it causes LOTS of drama, which is always fun! Not sure what the point of it is, though!"

Marina

"Someone can say they love you all day every day and it’d still be empty. Words are fuckin’ worthless. We are what we do, not what we say. If there's no love in the way someone acts then there's no love at all. Period."

Thea

"Ah, love… I do appreciate a good romance. In fiction, that is. In reality, it rather loses its lustre. Romance is alluring, and few can resist the... siren song, if you will. The problem arises when people confuse desire for love. You can't have love without desire, but you can most certainly have desire without love. Most of the time, people don't actually love their person of interest but just the idea of them. It’s harder to love a whole, flawed person. It’s one thing to love the way someone shines. It’s quite another to love the rest of them as well."

Kaida

"Love is non-existent. Any amount of… ‘care’ someone claims to feel for you only stems from whatever you provide for them. Once you are no longer useful or they’ve otherwise taken all you have to give… It’s frankly impressive how quickly ‘love’ gives way to the resentment of being saddled with someone who has become a useless and disposable thing. I have no interest in subjecting someone to that, and I have even less interest in being reduced to such a state again."

Shiloh

".......Mm. My….. understanding… is that love…… comes from the heart... I…. don't think my physical anatomy… has any organs….. including a heart muscle…… but I… haven't been able to check... I….. don't have a pulse…… so it stands to reason I don't…Mm. …I don’t have a heart. So….. it follows that love…… is beyond me…. Right?"

????

"Love is not something that one such as I am at liberty to consider for myself, but in a general sense, my view of it is complicated. Rarely do I see a happy ending. Not because they do not exist but, well… By the time I come around, ‘happily ever after’ has typically run its course. Even so, the pain I see is but a clear sign that love is something truly precious."

 Vicente

"Love is a house you’ve built with those you care for. It takes time and a team effort poured into a process that can be frustrating and exhausting. The quality of the result is decided by the materials used and the care taken in its construction. If you do it right, it can provide warmth and shelter even on the coldest night in the dead of winter, and there’s a comfort in knowing that those dearest to you are safe with you there."

Abby

"Love is when someone appreciates you for you, even when you're not— Even if you aren’t— Mmngh… I dunno. It’s— It’s being seen. Being really known by someone, ‘n they come closer instead of runnin’ away. ‘N you see them like they see you, even the not-fun bits, but even those bits are worth it 'cause it's them, y'know? They’re them, ‘n that's enough for you. You're enough for them, or— Or, at least, you’re not too much. They don’t, y’know— They don’t come at you with a list of all the ways you aren’t what they want you to be. They aren’t just— I dunno— Tolerating you, I guess.”

Marina

"Sometimes the people who're s'posed to love you suck absolute shit at it. So, you leave 'em behind, and you find people who put their money where their damn mouth is. People who actually give an actual, genuine fuck about your wellbeing and happiness. People who don’t have a million stupid, useless, infuriating conditions and expectations you need to meet for them to keep giving a fuck. People who don’t threaten to take their love away to keep you in line.”

Thea

"Attempting to describe what love is would be pointless. It isn’t something so easily put into words, which is perhaps why I have found it so elusive for so long. I can describe what it isn’t, though. It isn’t a role you play. It isn’t a costume you desperately try to fit into, carving away any parts of yourself that may be inconvenient. It isn't a transaction, and it isn't a competition. It isn’t something you should have to fight and beg for, and it isn’t something you can gain through expensive gifts and pretty lies. It isn’t something you can gain by twisting things to make yourself look good, because eventually things will untwist, and you’ll be seen for exactly what you are.”

Kaida

"I’m rarely ever wrong, and even more rarely ever happy to be wrong. In this, I’m… beyond pleased to be both. I… cannot say that most claims of love are honest and sincere. But... I can accept that sincere love exists, and when it does— ...I thought I understood, but I didn't, and I don't. Nothing is as I thought it was. Something I have been so sure of for thousands of years has been proven false and that's… That’s terrifying. I'm... okay with that, though. The terror of it all is far preferable to the loneliness of the alternative."

Shiloh

"Mmn. Love is…… scary…. It’s a feeling of…. flying and falling, at the same time… Everything is both hazy…. and unbearably vivid... Going too fast… while moving in slow motion…. Mm. It’s…. an ache… but it’s an ache to savour. It's… all too much… but never enough. Holding you together…. while tearing you apart….. And it's wonderful….. I’m still… fairly certain that I… don’t have an actual, physical heart, but… It sometimes… feels like I might…"

????

"I still do not know. Even having experienced it, I do not understand it. But I find that I do not want to, nor do I need to. I am simply glad to have it. That is all I need. All I ask. More than I ever thought I would receive. Just... just to have it. To be around it. That is all."

-------

Forever ago in the far off ancient time of 2017, one of the writers for Dragon Age made some tweets of the romance options he'd written responding to being asked about love. I really liked the idea so when I remembered it I thought it'd make a good warm-up, and once they were done I thought you all may enjoy them. So, here you go. I hope you all have a lovely day.

[mdhwrites]

The Owl House had an issue with introducing characters that had minimal impact on the storyline. Boscha, Kikimora, Vee, Hunter, and The Collector could’ve all been removed from the story with little change, and their screen time could’ve been used toward other characters that needed it more than them.

So we talk a lot about story necessity I want to start this with the fact that filler and side characters often help add flavor to a story. It's something frankly I struggle with because my stories focus on progressing forward which helps me get a lot done with a small word count. Most of the characters listed here though... Actually are fine. At least until S3 for Boscha and Kikimora and that brings up the fact that different roles require less time to matter, though I want to mention that this addition of flavor and the like is exactly why no one will ever question why Viney was a part of the show. She's fun and she's the ONE time we get ANYONE actually struggling with the desire to be multi-covened but the system won't allow it, even if it's not done particularly well in that episode.

So, what are the roles of each character versus how much time do they have on screen? Well:

Boscha: Basic teenage antagonist for school things. Requires only as much time as is dedicated to teenage drama. Mostly disappears after S1 because of this except for two funny moments at her expense... Except in S3 when the show states she's actually more than what was portrayed before.

Kikimora: Basic, irredeemable, comedy villain general to allow fighting Belos without fighting Belos. Requires only as much time as is required to confront Belos AND OTHER, BETTER GENERALS AREN'T AROUND. Then in S3 is there as a standalone, one off antagonist despite her BOSS having been defeated and her not being anything new.

Vee: One off foil to Luz for character conflict for an episode. Takes up one episode and that's... it. She's fine.

Hunter: Complex, Redeemed Villain General. Requires as much time as is required for a satisfying redemption. Is actually cut short because he is not actually a villain for any time, cutting his point at the knees. Also connects to Belos but *looks at Lilith and Kikimora, both from season 1* that's redundant. Kikimora LITERALLY goes through the same fucking shit as Hunter and only once Belos has left her for dead/tried to kill her, much like Hunter, she forsakes him. She just becomes a bad guy instead of a good guy but even the breakdowns Hunter has or the depression about losing their purpose are both shared. They're almost the same character and nothing is done with that foiling frankly.

Collector: Complex, Redeemed Final Villain. Requires the time for his machinations and desires to be unraveled and challenged in a way that is thematically coherent because if you're going to redeem your big bad, it becomes about a battle of ideologies. Instead, we get one conversation with him before him being released and like... Two afterwards. That isn't enough time for him to have a machination or big bad moments. That's barely enough time for a one off villain.

That's the bigger issue with TOH. It has no idea what its priorities are... Nor does it feel like it cares. Like Kikimora is Belos' main general, effectively his biggest expression onto the show before S3... And she sucks. Meanwhile, his coven heads go unused and underutilized, staying as one off villains instead. Then their more complex characters and concepts aren't actually given the time needed because that would mean not getting the payoff of redemption or reformation of these characters. It is also just lacking ideas so it doesn't know what to do with any of these characters the longer it goes on and so keeps scraping the bottom of a well. Hence why Kikimora and Boscha return in S3 despite one effectively not being in S2 (if Boscha was important, she'd have at least cameod in Labyrinth Runners) and the other being a complete joke by the end who's boss was reduced to a puddle once already.

And that's frankly the bigger issue. These characters feel redundant and like they don't even add flavor because... They are and they don't. The show has VERY few concepts in general besides social statements. That's why most of their villains or dilemmas are them miming at a social issue and why it had to carve up more and more angst as it ran out of ideas it could just copy from the modern world. Or reused ideas even in the same season just with other basic fantasy things.

And more complex ideas REQUIRE creativity and skill. They require the elements that seem to be most lacking in the show. That's why the fandom can create a billion ideas because they're unrestrained and actually see the potential in these concepts while the show runners feel blind to the gold they are writing themselves. Again: You could have spent an entire SEASON dealing with just all of Amity's baggage towards redemption and reformation, twenty episodes, and probably still had material on the table and instead, it frankly boils down to at best a handful of episodes, at most two, before she is fully redeemed and telling her potential to go fuck off because she has the job of a bland love interest to do.

As it is now? The show is lucky that it didn't have time to make literally everything redundant, no matter how hard it tried to anyways.

==========

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[goldenteaset]

The Purgatory and Salvation of Lucas Proust (Part 1)

I got my copy of Virche Evermore: EpiC LycoriS yesterday and finished Lucas' post-Salvation ending, and I have to say...for anyone afraid he's going to be "done dirty again", don't be. The devs didn't put "epic" in the title for nothing.

Spoilers for both Lucas' route in Virche Evermore and some of his post-Salvation ending in E:L ahead!

Rarely if ever do otome devs look you dead in the eye and say, over and over, "You can't save this one. All the others are salvageable: you can find their happy ending if you work for it, dig into their psyches and come out the other side with a changed man. But not him. We wanted to write a Tragedy and we did."

I have to say, I'm glad they did, and gladder still of what they came up for the fandisc! But to get into that I need to lay some groundwork, mostly from Lucas' route in the first game.

Here's the thing with capital-T Tragedies: they feel satisfying when they rely on what might happen. Not "will", might. Because Tragedy isn't relying on realism, it's relying on consequences.

Lucas' life is a series of incredibly specific events and actions (being born in Arpechelee, his inborn strength, his Reliver parents' disdain for his sister Nadia, the doctors considering her illness a lost cause, meeting Ceres, the only person offering help being an anti-Reliver cult leader, his inevitable death at twenty-three), and the consequences are born from Lucas' responses to them. In a Drama, which works best with what should happen, Lucas would come out of these events changed but ultimately for the better, especially if his rigid beliefs brushed further against his desire for Nadia's happiness and bent even a little. (This seems to be where his Encore route is heading, but that's a different post.)

Since Lucas' route is a Tragedy, though, his past has instead shaped him into someone who can't bend his ideals, even in the face of love, until the very end of his Salvation route. Most importantly, he doesn't think he deserves to be saved, and feels unable to change. That to me is the most important part, and why the other LI's have such a different "Maybe it can work out" tone to them: they are willing to change.

That said, Lucas' route in the first game has its hiccups. Coincidence is a Tragedy staple, and there's a hefty helping in here, especially with the cult stuff. Lucas sits in this awkward position of being both a grown man who's fully aware of his actions, and a victim of conditioning and drug abuse, which muddies the waters a lot. Not even his sense of time is his own anymore. Yes, what he's done is morally wrong, but how cognizant is he of his own actions? And the narrative moves at such a fast pace sometimes, it feels like suffering is being heaped on him faster than we can take it in. There's less sense of catharsis by the end, that surreal relief from feelings like sadness or despair when experienced by a fictional character.

So I want to say upfront, that if the devs had decided to commit to the bit and write more of Ceres grieving Lucas' passing, I wouldn't have minded. I was expecting it, even! "Haha, his post-Salvation ending will probably be the shortest one, but at least there will be time to grieve," I half-joked to myself.

And then Ceres literally went to Hades to find him.

This is why I brought up Tragedy VS Drama earlier, because the writers made a pretty bold move. In sending Ceres after Lucas, we get to experience that catharsis at last. Besides Nadia, she's someone he considers "free of sin", and yet here she is, willing to drag him to Heaven if she has to. Why? He can't help but be curious and seek answers. And with Ceres here, he has no "excuse" to wallow in his own misery. It's up to him to escort her back to the gates of Hades, whatever it takes.

Consequently, if Lucas feels so deeply that he "deserves punishment", he now has a reason to both experience that punishment and accept himself.

For Lucas, it's one thing to know killing is wrong. It's another thing to accept his reason for killing is wrong. As long as he felt justified in doing so ("I'm purifying the demons/I'm sparing innocents", really both sides of the same awful coin), he'd never fully know why he felt guilty in the first place. So when he and Ceres are being butchered and resurrected by shadows of himself over and over and he cries out in anguish "How is this purification?! It's a massacre", it feels morbidly right. This is the answer he couldn't reach in life.

Ceres is also a crucial part of this realization, by the way. She's the Beatrice to his Dante, as it were, and she gets to experience the ritualistic massacre firsthand. Lucas would probably be able to accept his own countless deaths--he "deserves" it--but to see Ceres endure the same? Impossible.

Ceres could never "save him" (read: reassure him of his own actions) because she wasn't him, if that makes sense. Lucas had to acknowledge his own beliefs as flawed, and also acknowledge that he didn't know they were flawed until he saw his own heart beating before his eyes. He's accepting/forgiving his younger self as much as he is his present self.

But that's not the end of his journey. There are more trials he and Ceres have to face together, and Hades' dark fields stretch far and don't always look foul. But they move on hand in hand, a bit more willing to try again.

And I had so much to say about it I needed to separate this into two parts, whoops. ^^;

[lethesomething]

Yakuza and coping mechanisms

Yakuza has been my on and off hyperfocus for years now but also in particular the past month, so let's talk about it. And particularly, how many friggin coping mechanisms are in this game.

Disclaimer: I do literary analysis, not psycho analysis, don't come for me.

For all its silliness about fighting roomba's and disco minigames, the world that the Yakuza games is set in, is fucking brutal. They are, at their very core, crime drama's. People get murdered a lot, lives are ruined in various ways, a good third of protags spend large amounts of time in jail, usually for a crime they didn't commit. Most politicians and police are corrupt, racism is blatant and if you don't have a place in the very strict hierarchy of society, it's hard to get back on your feet (hence all the crime). I tend to read a lot of indictments of Japanese society in these games, partly because they are so clearly based on old school yakuza crime drama's.

This means that the characters go through some shit. And what's fascinating, is how they deal with this.

Spoiler warning for, uhh, almost all yakuza games except Song Of Life (since i never played that)

Pretending it's not real

Kasuga Ichiban

The direct reason I'm even making this blog post because he's the most blatant about it. Kasuga is Peak Himbo in that he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he manages to take being beaten down Repeatedly and overcomes that with a sense of genuine good nature and optimism that is… honestly kind of hard to believe. The way he deals with any of this, is that he's a nerd who pretends to be in a video game. It's the whole premise of Yakuza Like a Dragon.

And to be fair, Kasuga suffers from an amount of mistreatment that makes me Very Angry in his stead. He has every right to be upset! He is literally homeless in the beginning of the game. If he requires the escapism of going around pretending to be in a jrpg to survive, more power to him. Especially since it works. Dude goes around helping people and making friends. Which is a good thing, because there's no way he'd make it out of Yokohama alive if he didn't have some back-up.

Side note: something similar happens to at the very least Majima, i think, in the admittedly non-canonical events of Yakuza Dead Souls. (yes i played it solely for Majima, no i do not recommend it, the game is garbage and you get more Majima in Zero anyway). In Dead Souls, Kamurocho is overrun by zombies. As a lover of all things Horror, Majima decides he may as well have a good time mowing them down like he's in an FPS while he trudges through the wreckage of society.

Self sacrifice

Mostly Kazuma Kiryu and  Saejima Taiga

If you hate yourself, at least try to be of use to someone. Let's be honest, a lot of the plot of Yakuza games is driven by self sacrifice or at least following some code of honor to its ludicrous ends.

Kiryu is the main example here. The game kinda glosses over this a lot, but he is, at least in Zero, a criminal. He goes around extorting money from businesses. He consistently solves problems through violence. It's kinda the point of the games. But he's also borderline a saint and 80% of the shit he gets into is because of his need to throw himself to the wolves for any person he cares about. He voluntarily does hard time for Nishikiyama, for one. He picks up a stray kid that he will now protect with his life. And it just goes on from there. See, Kiryu may be the famous Dragon of Dojima and the Fifth Chairman of the Tojo Clan and all that, but he would very much prefer not to be? Dude wants to live a quiet life and raise some kids, it's just that he's the protag of a game series about how hard it is to say goodbye to the yakuza life. So the plot keeps finding ways to bring him back, usually as a reluctant warrior to save the Tojo clan or Haruka  or whatever. If he was a little less honorable, he could still be chilling as a taxi driver with an unreasonably hot girlfriend, I'm just saying.

Saejima is very similar, but somehow even worse? Much as I love the guy, he's an idiot. He suffers from the same loyalty and selflessness as Kiryu, but he doesn't even get a cute daughter out of it. He spends Twenty Five years in prison for a crime he (we later find out) didn't commit. He escapes months before his parole to solve the convoluted plot of Y4. Then Goes Back to Jail to atone for (again) a crime he only thought he'd committed, only to escape (again) when he thinks Majima, his sworn brother, got murdered in Y5. As far as i can tell he goes back to jail one last time to finish his actual sentence, and to like, protect the name of the Tojo clan or some shit. My dude. My friend. Come on.

As a side note, acts of selflessness are kind of a big deal in the Yakuza games and one of the main ways to tell if someone is a good criminal or a villain. Kasuga and his crew are pretty big on the whole 'acts of selfless kindness' thing. It also seems to be one of the traits of Daigo Dojima, whose whole being screams 'I don't want to be here but who else is gonna fucking do it'. But in the case of Kiryu and Saejima it's very much verging on reckless self-endangerment.

Fabricated identities

Majima Goro, baby!

The Yakuza games really love this one, but I'll start with the big guy, everyone's favourite character: Majima. This dude has seen some shit. We see him throughout several flashbacks and the span of the games, but most tellingly we see him in Zero, at his rock bottom hero stage. And he's intriguingly unlike the other times he shows up. This is a Majima that's recovering from torture and backstabbing, and forced to do some dude's bidding for scraps. He's a chained dog (pun very much intended) and he's about to lose it.

What's fun about Majima is that he has So Many of the traits in this list. He has a lot of the reckless endangerment and self sacrifice that his buddies Kiryu and Saejima have. He gave himself up a few times for Haruka, he keeps trundling back to save Tojo and Dojima, but there's also a whole other layer of … Flamboyance to him.

And while Majima probably started out as comic relief, the games make clear that it's not all he is, and we get several glimpses of 'old Majima' throughout the series. He'll be in the middle of a self inflicted fight and drop some wisdom, for instance. He acts erratically, he is blunt, violent, exuberant in his dressing up. When given a task his first thought seems to be 'how can i make this Extra', but that doesn't mean the guy is unstable. You don't become a successful businessman with a building company, or a patriarch of your own family, without being smart and strategic. A lot of classic Majima behaviour, i feel, is a case of a mask he constructed to hide the severe depression, that became more of a second nature to him. Majima is one of the clearest examples of 'do what you need to do'. He's a survivor, through and through. Somewhere in there is a decent human being, but Majima will kill people to survive in a harsh world. It just seems like he constructed an extra layer to shield himself from all that.

Joon-gi Han (Like a Dragon): This is more a case of stolen (inherited??) identity, but again, if you don't want to be you, just be someone else. In this case someone he admires. Again: super tragic backstory, questionable life choices. As an aside, Joon-gi is fun because he is both a deadly assassin with someone else's name and face, but also  a Knight stereotype who would do everything for his queen and I think that's neat.

Zhao Tianyou (Like a Dragon): Somewhat more subtle, but Zhao is also a dude that was at one point confronted with a Situation, namely 'oh shit my dad died and now I'm in charge of a violent gang'. And to deal with that he decided to construct a persona that gives exactly zero fucks. He is very joking and very avoidant but we do learn that a fair amount of his laid back attitude is just veneer. Dude in fact gives several fucks. You don't decide to give up the throne and become a homeless sidekick to Himbo Supreme because you don't care. You do it to stop him from getting ultra-murdered by the parade of heavily armored gangsters he keeps storming into.

Akiyama Shun (Yakuza 4-5): I debated putting him here, because part of me believes Akiyama is just kind of a dick. A dick I love as a character, but still, ya know. At least some of the dickish persona is a front, though. Akiyama is another one that just saw his life's work destroyed at some point, and decided that emotional detachment was the way to go. Akiyama is different because he was never actually a proper criminal. He was homeless for a bit, and then came into some money (through Extremely Convoluted Plot Means) and now he's a moneylender. And like Zhao, he mostly pretends to be completely devoid of feelings, while having a fair amount of feelings. Enough to get into like… fist fights. With actual gangsters. Who have guns.

Vice

Sex, drugs and everything in between

The preferred way for noir drama's to show someone is Going Through It, is by giving them a classic addiction and Yakuza isn't any different. It's why several characters are shown mournfully smoking, in particular Kiryu and Majima. Yes I know it's because it looks cool and harks back to old crime movie atmosphere. That doesn't make it a healthy coping mechanism.

Another obvious one, considering the setting of the games in several red lights districts, is erotica. Both Adachi, the ex-cop from Like a Dragon and Shinada, the ex-baseball player from Y5 and also my least fave protag ever, are both in various stages of obsession about porn, sex work and the likes.

Tanimura, the cop from Y4 has a pretty severe gambling problem in the actual canon, though gambling games and casino's are a general mainstay of the Yakuza series. It's just that when Kiryu interrupts his busy day of solving the convoluted intrigue du jour to gamble in an illegal underground casino, it's not a character flaw.

Also: almost everyone drinks ludicrous amounts of heavy alcohol in these games. Both in canon and as part of the gameplay. 100% ing the games usually involves drinking tons of whiskey, but the whole Ichiban crew, sans I think Eri, is shown drowning their troubles at various times.

Violence: I mean, that's kind of the game, but an unhealthy amount of characters consider fist fights to be a good way to resolve conflict, bond with people and generally reinvigorate themselves. Particularly Majima is shown to get a real kick out of doing damage and being beaten up. There's just a lot of reckless behaviour, which is what makes the games good.

Karaoke: fake it till you make it, man.

Extra note:

You'll notice there's no women on this list, and that's because honestly the game is kinda sexist. So while there's already Very Few women in the game, the ones that are present don't exactly have super complex characters.

Mukoda Saeko, the hostess from Like a Dragon, drinks like a fish but that's about her main flaw.

Other notable female characters are Kiryu's kid Haruka, Kiryu's love interest Sawamura Yumi (Kiwami) and Kamataki Eri, the business lady from Like a Dragon. They're all stereotypical Good Girls who have no flaws apart from indecisiveness and an unhealthy tendency for selflessness.

Saejima Yasuko is ever so slightly more complex: her main trait is self sacrifice. The story promptly fridges her for it.

[saltyr3mix]

OK SO IVE HAD THIS IDEA FOR A WHILE! i think it was inspired by a tumblr post but here is an outline for a Oliver gets possessed by litho timeline idea!

Child. was watching tv with his parents when they started to be....not great parents. ummmm he fights back and now has two dead adults on his hands but is like Sara in the sense he doesn't quite realize what hes done. or at least is one hell of an actor to the cops.

his siblings are still around but once parents died he was to young to hold custody so he hasn't seen them since that night. they moved away.

founders trio happens the same. but instead of phone calls Oliver grows distant watching some sort of news channel. still has the same effect and follows Sara's footsteps except with tv instead of phones.

Winnie shows up. we love to see it. Lewis dies the same. only Oliver is a lot less....i don't know...mischievous with it. hes more cold, calculated vibes than Sara's quick jabs and menacing one liners. i also think hes just a tad more sympathetic to Litho/Winnie than Sara because missing siblings/kids. he knows how that feels.

other deaths go the same minus the twins. because! we replace them with uhhhh idk yet. either Celio or Norman. someone close to Sara.

Sara! then gets Damien involved. for detective reasons and also because she knows hes been Olivers crush for years and can try to talk some sense into him

it didn't work. Oliver sends Sara to the basement and she get a radio instead of Tv which i think is fun!

i think Damien ends up making the virus in this au. in fact the way i see it the radio trap was meant for him but Sara ended up falling for it so hes in here looking for her but also trying to help Oliver.

Drama romance bloodshed, the series goes on as usual. other fun facts when Litho takes over Oliver's soul gets shoved into the WTD website, this is really my theory on what happend to cannon Sara. but making it cannon in this au because its cool.

Big end confrontation with the collector and stuff. we get a moment of softness from Litho seeing his brother again, and then star reveals he knows where the twins are. this is where major cannon divergence starts to happen. because that breaks Oliver out of Lithos control. even for a second. his eyes flash black to blue before Litho reeks havoc and memory stuff happens.

Wiatt ends up escaping along with Damien with their new found goal of finding Oliver's younger siblings while trying to restore everyone's memories.

Twins are either circus performers or just like genuinely living in the middle of no where with some random guy who i would connect to a character, like a sibling of one of the main cast.

Is this twin centric when it probably shouldn't be?.....yes. big reason ill never write this is because i always feel like im either dragging it to far from cannon or two close to cannon to make an au thats interesting.

Anyway feel free to ask be about it if you want. this is pretty much all i have for it but im more than happy to add more.

[romani-ranch]

I’ve kept quiet on this for too long, I need to break my silence.

Untagged spoilers for all of death note ahead because I don’t want the death note fans to find me.

Death note is one of the worst fucking anime I’ve ever seen in my life and the fact that it has the following it does is insane to me. What am I missing? Light and L’s cat and mouse game and gotchas are only interaction like 50% of the time, and the other 50% of the quirky overanalysis just feels like Rick and Morty levels of the show pretending to be smart because it couldn’t think of anything actually intelligent to do. The Yotsuba arc fucking sucks. I genuinely lost so much interest in the show for the duration of that arc, and the big payoff at the end with light getting the death note back did 100% not feel worth the amount of time that was spent dicking around with rich assholes.

Light is insufferable as a character, which isn’t a problem, because he’s a villain, and an incredibly flawed one, which is completely fine. What I’m not fine with is that the show doesn’t seem to acknowledge many of his flaws as flaws. He treats every woman he interacts with like garbage. Either they’re just a pawn in a greater scheme, or someone who’s so pitifully stupid that they’re below him in every way, someone not even worth considering a threat, barely even a person. Which, again, is fine. I don’t think characters having flaws makes them unlikeable, especially villains. But, the show never ever ever acknowledges Light’s misogyny as a negative trait. He is never punished for underestimating or using women, no woman ever gets one over on him. In fact, I think the only person that hates women more than Light, is the author.

Please refer to every single female character in the show with speaking lines in more than one episode. Naomi, Light’s sister, Light’s mom, Misa, Kiyomi, Wedy, Rem. Every single woman in this show, by the end of this show, has met some godawful fate, and is either dead in a horrific way, or traumatized permanently. Conversely, while a lot of men die in this show, often in gruesome ways, there are plenty of male characters that get off Scott free. Near and the SPK, the entire Kira task force, with the obvious exception of the dead ones. I think there’s enough men in this show with okay endings that this criticism is earned.

In general, I found the final arc very unsatisfying as a whole. Mello and Near just showing the fuck up really was not cool. I didn’t care for either of them at all really. At least with L, he had an established dynamic with light built up over the entire series. Some new cunt showing up and trying to be him is just. Less cool? Misa bowing out of the story to go be Light’s tradwife while he cheats on her is an especially low point in this show as well.

Am I being mean and petty for the sake of being mean and petty? I mean, yeah for like, sure. I’m kind of being a dick but like. What is the appeal of this show? As a detective show, the mindgames and tricks and gotchas are very often, genuinely less interesting than your average Columbo episode, despite taking nearly twice as long to set up. As a drama, the show’s misogyny issues really hold it back, as do the more questionable and off the wall story beats. As a yaoi show, which I know it is to a large part of its audience, look, I like toxic romance. I actually enjoy incredibly unhealthy couples when written well, and I don’t mind reaching for my pairings. There’s nothing here. Like. Yeah, they have their moments, and I understand why people make L and Light fuck but like. Come the fuck on. This pairing is white bread with nothing on it they’re not even that cool. I don’t like men, so maybe I can’t talk here but like. They’re not even that hot??? The fuck are you people on about?

Every sensible person I know dropped the show after L died and honestly, I wish I had done the same. I just. I don’t get it. How the fuck does this show come so highly rated? How did you make a detective thriller unironically worse than Danganronpa? Answer quickly.

[disappointingyet]

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice

Director Paul Mazursky Stars Robert Culp, Natalie Wood, Elliott Gould, Dyan Cannon USA 1969 Language English (with a bit of inept Spanish directed at the maid) 1hr 45mins Colour

Era-capturing comedy-drama about two affluent couples trying to stay hip in late ‘60s Los Angeles

Saying a film is incredibly of its moment is not necessarily a judgement. By which I mean: the movie could be a fascinating time capsule or a pivot in cinema history or simply an unhappy accumulation of the tropes and cliches of the year it was made. Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice seems (to me) to fit well in the first category and is maybe a bit the second and (fortunately) not slot into the final one. 

In any case, it certainly screams ‘1969!’. Before we even get to the credits, we’ve seen naked breasts – this is just a year after the final burial of the production code that had restricted what could be shown in Hollywood films since the 1930s. Those breasts aren’t in a sexual context, they are in a ‘let’s shake off our old hang-ups’ context. Bob (Robert Culp) has come to The Institute to scout for a documentary, and his wife Carol (Natalie Wood) has tagged along for the ride. 

The Institute seems modelled on Esalen (think the final episode of Mad Men), and Bob and Carol take part in a marathon session where a roomful of participants do a long series of exercises and keep going for 24 hours straight hoping to break down their barriers so they can express their feelings without filter. 

And when they get back to their everyday existence, Bob and Carol do feel changed, and insist on insisting on full openness when talking to each other and other people – not just with their best friends Ted (Elliott Gould) and Alice (Dyan Cannon) but also with eg, the maitre d’ at their favourite restaurant. It’s all a little much, and becomes pretty disruptive, especially to poor Ted and Alice, who are a little less furiously trying to prove they are moving with the times. 

Culp was in his late thirties when this was made, the others in their early thirties. I was thinking maybe that’s a bit young to be worrying that you are out of touch with what’s happening, but actually I was already sensing my moment had passed when I was about 20, and undoubtably (without buying into boomer self-importance), the mid and late 1960s could be dizzying times.

Each couple has a kid, and Bob and Ted are well established in their well-paid professions, so these are meant to be grown-ups, and in previous generations would have had no urge to chase what young folks were doing. (And despite all Bob’s beads, these four aren’t in full rejection of the taste of their generation – towards the end of the movie, they all head to a concert… not the Dead or Sly And The Family Stone, but Tony Bennett.)

Probably the most notable stylistic choice director Paul Mazursky (who was the same age as Culp, incidentally) makes here is having some very long scenes – that early one at The Institute, a therapy session Alice has (a session that is nevertheless curtailed just as she seems to be reaching a breakthrough), plus the climax to the film. Like the characters, we’re here to really explore what’s going on with these people, just probably with a little more scepticism. And crucially, that approach works (there’s nothing worse than a wilfully extended scene you don’t care about.)

The cast is an interesting one – all at very different points in their careers. The one true movie star of the bunch at the time was Natalie Wood, who had been acting since she was a small kid. This film should have set her up to take a prominent role in the New Hollywood of the 1970s, but sadly didn’t for some reason – there was not a lot of great work ahead in the final decade of her short life. She’s just absurdly beautiful here, but also sharp and expressive.

Culp I first remember seeing in a regular supporting role in a not-very-good early ‘80s TV show called The Greatest American Hero. Mostly if I think of him these days, it’s as one of those reliable and well-connected actors of the time who got to play multiple Columbo villains. Back when this was made, he had just finished the three-season run of I Spy, a hit show in which he starred alongside Bill Cosby as globe-trotting operatives whose cover was they were a tennis player and his coach. 

Meanwhile, Cannon was best known for an unlikely marriage to Cary Grant – she was in her twenties, he was past 60, she was his fourth wife (and there had been always been rumours that he was gay.) That union had ended by the time of B&C&T&A. She was reasonably famous during the 1970s and has worked steadily ever since, although I’m not sure that many people would recognise the name.

And then there’s Elliott Gould, the one who was about be huge. Watching this, it feels like he’s cast against type as the more uptight friend, but this is the year before M*A*S*H, the first of the three movies he made with Robert Altman (the others are The Long Goodbye and California Split*) that defined his star persona. 

Anyway, they are all absolutely perfect for this film, believable as a group of friends, plausible in their power dynamics. And Mazursky and his team immerse us in their world: the big houses, the flashy cars, the hip hang-outs, none of which means they are not fundamentally insecure. 

From the opening aerial shot of the Bob and Carol driving to The Institute to the great closing images, it feels fully liberated by what cameras were able to do by 1969. So I was a little surprised to check who the cinematographer was and find it was not some young dude who had just escaped from Czechoslovakia but instead Charles Lang, who had been working in movies since 1926 and whose extraordinary list of credits includes The Magnificent Seven and Some Like It Hot. 

I was really taken with this film – it’s funny, the cast are immensely charismatic, it captures the vibe of the time brilliantly without bombarding us with tacky faux-psychedelic camera effects or editing, there are some awesome clothes. Very happy I finally watched it.

(I'm always Quentin Tarantino-sceptical, but he's good talking about B&C&T&A here) *He has cameos in Nashville and The Player. 

[tigermousse]

Demonheart

 genre: fantasy, mystery, otome, drama

Demonheart is a fantasy otome visual novel about a poor girl, who just became an apprentice of village Healer - some time later the Healer announced that she is...pregnant with demon child and hopes that our heroine Bright will take care of him. Several hours after that The Healer was killed, Bright is sentenced to death for her murder. And executed. But it wasn't the end of Bright. It was just a beginning of her new life as a demonheart - a creature which possess supernatural powers and regenerative abilities. Alas, from now a lot of people wants her dead or captured. Because if you eat a heart of demonspawn, you can become one. And also she has this strange amulet given to her by her former employer - and now the demon is talking to her through it. Who can she trust? Who would be her ally?

Demonheart looks very different from usual visual novels. It has its own lore, which we learn step by step, reading it in Bright's diary. It is very original in interface, and even has alignment system. But playing through the game I honestly  not sure if the alignment system ever impacts story outcome.But on the other hand, it is mostly like in Fable 1 - when it’s easier to be good than bad.

Also you have to choose every phrase of dialogue by yourself (or chose to keep silent), and it could be fun, but in some places you just stuck between two dialog choices that seem almost identical - and thinking does they really have an impact on story? I have to confess that till the time I got to chapter 5, I was already kind of bored with so much choices.

Also the game has anagram riddles, if you are bad in that kind of puzzles, I have good news for you - you can give them up. I suck in this kind of puzzles, also english is not my native language, but I've managed, so I guess they're not very hard.

All characters in the game are assholes and will betray you sooner or later in the game, you have to deal with this and move on. Really, almost everyone you meet in this game is more or less the traitor. You can say that main love interests are kind of have their reasons for doing that, and still could become your allies. I can’t say that I’ve grown too emotionally attached to any of them.

Usually in these time of games I kind of like the charming bastards (even psychopaths), but in Demonheart, alas, they weren’t too charming.

Originality: 5/5

Story: 4/5

Characters: 3/5

Romance: 2/5

Graphics: 5/5

My rating: 4/5

SPOILER ALERT :

I pursued the largest bastard (Sir Brash) as the main love interest - he's kind of tsundere and we got love/hate relationship all alone. But his ending was not so romantic as I wished, can't say that I didn't liked it, but after all of these choices I've went through I wanted at least one cozy snuggly scene.

[thatonestoreguy]

You Are the Doctor and Other Stories

It’s Ace’s turn to drive! The Seventh Doctor gives Ace a lesson in piloting the TARDIS. Will she be any better at it than the Doctor? Let’s dig into an anthology of four short adventures to find out.

In “You Are the Doctor”, Ace manages to miss Australia by quiet a lot. She lands the TARDIS instead on a planet in the process of being invaded by the universe’s most inept conquerors, the Porcians. The gimmick of this story becomes clear very soon as the audio is presented in the style of a choose-your-own-adventure. You can make choices for the Doctor and Ace, but when you make the wrong choice they die and you have to restart. It’s clear very soon though that someone is abusing the very nature of the story to force the Doctor into inaction. It’s a fun conceit for a story, but the multiple choices go on a bit too long before we start getting to the why and how of it all. I think you could do a more serious take on the concept, but this story is a fun diversion.

Ace’s second attempt is diverted, leading to the events of the second story, “Come Die With Me”. Instead of Australia, the Tardis arrives in a Victorian-style mansion in some unspecified future time and place. The mansion���s master wants the Doctor to join him in a murder mystery game to prove who is the greatest intellect in the universe. This is a very quick adventure that manages to squeeze in quite a bit to its runtime. We get all the set up and explanation for a short little mystery and some solid character work amongst the small guest cast. It’s a tidy little adventure that doesn’t waste any time telling its story.

Ace’s steering hasn’t gotten any better as she now finds herself on trial in “The Grand Betelgeuse Hotel”. As Ace tells it, she and the Doctor arrived at the titular hotel (the most opulent casino hotel in the cosmos) in the middle of a heist. They soon manage to get themselves involved in events as usual. This is another fast paced adventure. It quickly becomes less about the heist plan, and more about the motivations of the characters involved. The framing narrative helps to give the story some extra suspense. It’s never in doubt the Doctor and Ace will survive the events, but how they will get to the point they start at is an interesting mystery.

Ace never quite manages Australia and instead lands on a ship floating lifeless in space in “Dead to the World”. The ship is a tourist vessel that has lost all power following the outbreak of a strange virus which killed all but three of the crew and passengers. The TARDIS crew quickly tries to get to the bottom of what has happened on board while dealing with the drama and power struggle between the survivors. In an anthology full of little mysteries, I think this is the most well written. There are many twists that you couldn’t see coming at the beginning, but it all flows beautifully. There isn’t much time to get to know the guest characters, but the adventure still manages to give each of them a little extra bit of depth that makes the story really sing.

I enjoyed this anthology a good deal. Each story was better than the last and the small conceit of Ace being the one behind the controls this time was fun. The stories also had another secret string connecting them in the form of small loose ends left unanswered. The Doctor notices by the end though, leaving us with a cliffhanger for the future.