#which simply isn’t at all the case lmao
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coquitokisses · 24 hours ago
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Oh, baby! | Dean Winchester
Pairings: Dean Winchester x female!reader
Summary: reader had a one night stand with Dean and they find out she’s pregnant
Word count: 1.4k
A/n: I gotta be honest, this is from a fanfic lmao, which is supposed to be a crossover of Teen Wolf and Supernatural, but I haven’t published it yet and I’ve been wanting to write something about Dean for a whileee so I decided to just edit this lil thing I had and post it here cuz why not?
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“Hey, Cas, you’re back.” You smile sweetly at him once you saw him as you made your way to the library to help Sam with research
“Hi, y/n.” He replied with a small smile that soon turned into a confused frown
You noticed. “Everything okay?”
“How do you feel?” He asks
“I’m fine.” You replied, not understanding his sudden worry
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Cas, why? What’s wrong?” You questioned feeling a little alarmed by the way he was asking
“It’s just that I feel another presence.” He said
“Another presence?” Sam took his eyes off the laptop to look at Castiel
“What do you mean another presence?” Dean’s voice was soon heard throughout the library
“Is it bad?” You ask
“No,” Castiel shook his head. “It’s inside you.”
“Inside me?!” You were so confused right now “But what is it? Is it bad?”
“Is she okay?” Sam asked somewhat worried after hearing Castiel’s words
“She’s fine,” he replied and then looked at you “Can I?” he raised his hand
You nodded giving him permission to do whatever he had to do. Castiel put a hand on your forehead and then began to lower it down your body, but without actually touching it, until it reached your belly.
“Can I?” he looked at you, you just nodded
He placed his hand on your belly and that’s when he realized what was the presence he was feeling.
“It’s a baby,” he said, removing his hand
You almost choked. “I’m sorry, WHAT?!”
“A.. baby?” Sam was dumbfounded
“Wait, wait, are you sure?” Dean looked at Castiel
“Very sure,” the angel nodded
“It can’t be...” you put one of you hands on you chest. “Oh my God..”
“Are you really sure?” Dean asked again
“Yes, Dean, I am one hundred percent sure that I feel a baby’s presence.” Castiel snapped back
“This isn’t happening.” Dean ran his hands over his face “This is.. this is simply not happening.”
“Please don’t tell me you guys…” Sam looked at you both
“Sam, just shut up for a minute, okay?” Dean replied
“I- I need to get some air.” You muttered as you walked backwards like three steps and then turned around heading to the stairs
“Y/n wait!” Sam called out but you ignored him
You got out of the bunker and you took a deep breath trying to calm yourself down and not have a panic attack.
“This can’t be real..” you murmured to yourself
You raised your hands to your belly and you’re just standing there in shock.
Of course you wanted a family, but you knew that it was probably not going to happen due to the fact that you’re a hunter and you’ve been hunting basically your whole life. You knew how your life was gonna end. And you made your peace with that. Kinda.
Worst thing about all of this is the fact that Dean is the one who got you pregnant. You two used to hate each other, but throughout the years, you’ve learned to tolerate each other and well, you’ve basically been working with them since they had to deal with the angels pretty much.
He’s always had a crush on you and you knew it, but it wasn’t really that serious. He usually just flirted with you and most of the time you just ignored him.
Until a few weeks ago, while you guys were finishing up a case that Sam decided to let you two handle so you could work on your communication and your anger issues, because the week before that, you have to admit that you were both butting heads every five minutes, and it was driving Sam insane. So he sent you both to deal with a shapeshifter case in Wyoming and with a little assignment to work on your issues and stop behaving like kids. His words.
And you did worked your issues out. You just didn’t think it was gonna be by having sex, but hey, you weren’t complaining at all. He was perfect. And it was the best night you’ve ever had in a while.
And here are the results of that hook up.
It’s clear to say that neither of you are prepared, mentally nor physically prepared to have a kid.
And besides, how were you gonna raise a kid together if you can’t even get along for more than two days?
You got on your car and decided to go for a ride, just to clear your head. And while you were at it, you bought like two boxes of pregnancy tests just to be one thousand percent sure and because you would believe it more once you see it yourself.
You got something to eat after that and decided to use the bathroom at a gas station so you could take the pregnancy tests.
While you waited on the results, you were walking around in the small bathroom, thinking what the hell you were gonna do.
After a few minutes of talking to yourself internally, you decided to take a look at the four pregnancy tests.
“Oh god..” you muttered under your breath seeing the plus sign on the tests
(…)
After a while of just driving around, you finally decided to get back to the bunker. Once you open the door, Dean’s head turned to look at you immediately.
“Where were you?” He asked, leaving the book he was reading on the table
“I was getting rid of the little creature,” you replied
“Y/n.” Dean gave your a stern look
“I’m kidding.” You rolled your eyes. “I went for a ride and to get something to eat, anything else you want to know?”
You walked to where he was and put your hand inside the pocket of your jacket.
“In case you thought Castiel was lying...” you took the pregnancy tests out of your jacket pocket and placed them on the table. “It’s quite real.”
Dean looked at the tests in front of him realizing that this was really happening. He did believe Cas, but seeing the positive pregnancy tests, definitely made his mind finally fall into the acceptance that this was real. Very real.
Dean sighed. “Look, I know you’re not completely happy with this situation, believe me, I’m not either, but..-
“But we already did it and now we have to take responsibility, I know,” you said taking off your jacket “What I’m still trying to figure out is how you and I are going to raise a baby”
“I don’t know either.” He sighed
“This wasn’t supposed to happen” you pulled out a chair so you could sit and then you brought your hands to you face
“I know...” Dean said in a soft voice and leaned a little so he could look at you. “Hey,” he gently took you by the wrists, removing your hands from your face. “You’re not going to be alone, I’m not going for a pack of cigarettes and never come back.”
That made you laugh a little. “I know you won’t.”
“I’m just.. scared.” He admitted “Scared to raise a kid, scared that I might turn out like my dad and I don’t want that..”
“You’re not going to be like your father, Dean.” You said softly “And I’m scared too, like, I’m gonna be carrying a baby inside of me for the next nine months, I’m terrified that I won’t be a good mom.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re going to be an amazing mom.”
You smiled a little. “That’s kinda comforting.”
“I think we can make it work if we make the effort.”
“We hate each other.” You roll your eyes
He scoffs. “Speak for yourself, I don’t hate you, sweetheart, like, at all.”
You chuckle. “Don’t lie to yourself, you only wanted to get in my pants.” You joked
“Well yeah, but I don’t hate you.” He shrugged
“I don’t hate you either, you’re just.. very annoying.” You said
“You are too.”
You roll your eyes. “Right.”
“In all seriousness,” he started saying “I think we should give it a try.” He looked into your eyes “And you know, we would also be getting out of this life and finally getting a normal one.”
“That does sound nice.” You nodded
“It’s up to you, babe.” He said
You could see in his eyes that he was dead serious about this. He wanted this. He wanted to give it a try with you.
And after a few seconds of thinking, you finally responded.
“Let’s do it then.” You said and he smiled “But we’re not getting married.”
“I’m fine with that.” He said with a shrug which made you smile
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main masterlist
A/n: I think I can make this into a small series, should I? 👀
Likes, comments and reblogs will be appreciated! <3
divider creds @hyuneskkami
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lunar-years · 9 months ago
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Can I also say that the worst thing to happen to the roykeeley (and to a smaller extent royjamiekeeley) ship was the episode where Keeley expresses a desire to have like, even TEN Roy-free minutes in her day, which too many people took to mean Keeley (extrovert, social butterfly, move-maker, lover) hates quality time in both concept and execution and only wants to see her significant other on the weekends, maybe, and would probably sleep in a separate room, whereas Roy is a permanently needy fucker who needs to be attached at the hip to his significant other 24/7 in order to survive, and that therefore they are ~Fundamentally Incompatible.~ Instead of what I think the episode was trying to convey, which is that Keeley desires a very extremely normal amount of time to herself especially while she is focusing on Getting Tasks Done/Literally Working Her Job and that Roy had spent the last several months being insanely clingy largely because he was bored and angry and aimless without football and using his girlfriend as his singular purpose for living (which is not sustainable or healthy behavior with ANY partner, even one as equally attached at the hip) only for him to then get a job at the same place Keeley works, so that she could literally never get any time away from him even At Her Job. Thus tipping the scale beyond “Roy’s love language is Quality Time and he can be a bit clingy, which can be reasonably accommodated by a willing partner” to “Roy is Driving Keeley Actually Motherfucking Batshit Crazy” a problem which then gets solved by Roy leaving Keeley alone for the length of one (1) singular self care bath.
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redstarwriting · 2 years ago
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the clash | v. ever fallen in love
hobie brown x goth!reader
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word count: 3.1k
genre: enemies to lovers
warnings: language, insults, hobie hating you, you hating hobie, mentions of death, demonic names, mentions of injuries, giving and receiving stitches, geniuses being dumbasses
a/n: these keep getting longer LMAO which is wild too bc i literally had an idea to make this chapter even longer, but i had to end up splitting it up. thank you to everyone who’s reading the series, i appreciate you all more than you will ever know. please enjoy this chapter, the next should be out either late tonight or tomorrow :)
previous chapter: iv. london calling
now reading: v. ever fallen in love
next chapter: vi. (with someone you shouldn’t’ve)
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It’s been a few months since you’ve become a part of Spider Society, and much to everyone’s disappointment, you and Hobie still hate each other. Even though on any given day the two of you will be seen around each other, you’re always arguing. Yelling. There have been multiple times where the two of you almost fought, but someone always breaks it up before it gets to that point. “Ready to go, Hobie?” Gwen asks, and he scoffs. “Can’t believe ‘m bein’ forced to go to that dickhead’s world by you of all people,” he grumbles, and she rolls her eyes. “C’mon man, we all know that you’ve both been way more irritable towards everyone because you haven’t seen each other in what? Like two days?”
“I’ll be a lot worse when I see them, I can promise ya that, mate,” he snaps and Miles shakes his head. “Yeah, sure. Whatever, Hobie,” he says as Gwen pulls up the portal to your world. “Are you excited to see them? I haven’t seen you two apart for this long ever, you’re always together,” Pavitr says, side-eying Hobie. He keeps trying to tell Gwen and Miles the two of you only hate each other because you have strong feelings for one another and don’t know how to face them.
“I’m telling you, they’re obsessed with each other,” Pavitr says as he, Gwen, and Miles sit in his home, sipping some chai. “Obsessed with wanting to kill each other maybe, but that’s about it,” Miles says, and Pavitr groans. “No! You’ve got it all wrong! Neither of them knows how to express their feelings and that’s the only reason they act the way they do!” he tries to convince them, but Gwen and Miles just glance at each other. “I don’t know, Pav,” Gwen says. “I picked up on the romantic tension between the two of you immediately, why are you doubting my genius social cue reading now?”
“You need to stop being such a romantic, Pav. The two of them would rather eat glass than be romantically involved in any way,” Gwen responded, but Pavitr was not convinced.
He still isn’t. Hobie laughs. “Excited? You must be mental to think I’d be chuffed to see them,” he responds, and Pavitr sighs. One day. One day he will get Hobie to admit he cares for you.
Gwen was honestly a little nervous for this little meet-up. The two of you had a really bad fight recently, and trying to get the two of you back to talking level seems a little ambitious.
“You what?” he yelled, causing you to roll your eyes. “I’m being mentored by Miguel.” Hobie stares at you, not saying anything, with his mouth slightly open before he shakes his head. He’s very angry, but you simply don’t care. “He’s helping me, Hobie. We both have the venomous bite thing, so he’s trying to help me out with it and helping me adjust to–”
“Don’t you dare say adjust to fuckin’ Spider Society like I ain’t been here the whole time.”
“You never necessarily helped, Hobie. Unless you count constantly insulting me and–”
“Nah, don’t gimme that fuckin’ rubbish, (Y/n),” he growls, and you cross your arms. “Why are you so mad about it anyway?” He laughs. “Why am I mad? Seriously?! You’re the right fuckin’ hand of the pitch and toss!”
“The what?” you ask and he groans. “The fuckin’ boss, (Y/n)! The man!”
“So what, Hobart?! In case you forgot you’re a part of this society, you listen to Miguel too!”
“I fuckin’ don’t!”
“You fucking do!” By this point, you’d pulled attention from several other spiders, not only because of the yelling but because their senses were going off. The two of you were too focused on each other to realize they were all ready to pounce on the two of you. “Fuckin’ piss off before I do somethin’ we both regret,” he growls, and you laugh. “Make me.”
The two of you were separated after that and haven’t talked to each other since. Granted, it’s only been two days, but that is long for the two of you, honestly. And it’s been making everyone a target of Hobie’s rude remarks and your cynicism. The two of you need to talk because clearly, not talking just makes the two of you feel worse.
Even though Hobie’s acting like this is the worst thing his friends could possibly do to him, he does kind of sort of miss you. Which he hates. It’s been two days and he’s already missing you? Disgusting. He can’t wait to yell at you about it. He’s able to keep his cool and pretend like he really doesn’t want to go, but in reality, he’s so anxious to see you. “Alright, come on,” Gwen says, motioning for Hobie to enter the portal. He glances around at them. “Makin’ me go first?”
“Can’t have you run off at the last minute,” Gwen says and he sighs. “Whatever,” he says, walking a little too fast into the portal. He only stops when he’s enveloped in a familiar darkness. He feels something brush up against his leg, and he lets go of a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. “Good seein’ ya, Shadow,” he says, bending down to give your cat some attention. Shadow headbutts him and he scratches between his ears. Your cat loves Hobie, much to your disdain.
“You hurt him, I kill you,” you said to him the second time he was at your place. He picked up Shadow while you were in your room, and when you came out and saw him holding your baby, you were ready to fight. But you were ready to fight him at any given moment anyways. “I won’t hurt him. He’s much cooler than his owner anyways,” Hobie says, petting his head. You roll your eyes. “Yeah well– wait is he purring?” you say, and Hobie smirks at you. “Looks like he likes me better than his owner too.”
“Shut the fuck up. Shadow!” you call your cat, your voice going from a tone that screams ‘I hate you’ to one that screams ‘I love you.’ Of course, Shadow’s ears perk up and he hops out of Hobie’s arms and right over to yours. You stick your tongue out at Hobie, who rolls his eyes and looks away to cover up the dusting of a smile on his face. “What are you, 12?” he asks, and you scoff. “Can I hold Shadow?” Pavitr asks, and you hand him to him without a second thought. But no matter who you passed him to, he’d either end up in yours or Hobie’s lap.
He's so lost in the memory that he doesn’t even sense you approaching. “So, you decided to actually show up. I’m surprised,” he hears your voice and looks up at you. “Wasn’t exactly by choice, love. If I had it my way, I’d never be in this hellhole again,” he retorts, and you just shake your head and say nothing. That’s strange. You thought for sure you would mention something about him being forced to do something even though he always does what he wants. “What? Have you lost your spitfire after only two days of not talkin’ to me?” he asks, standing. You sigh. “I just… I don’t have the energy to fight today, Hobie. Okay?”
Don’t have the energy? You literally always have the energy to fight with him. Before he can say anything else, Pavitr comes through the portal.
“(Y/n)! How have you been?” he asks, excitedly, hugging you. Hobie doesn’t like that. But what he doesn’t like even more is the slight look of pain that spreads across your face for a split second. He observes silently as you play it off like nothing happened, and Pavitr is none the wiser to it. Gwen and Miles enter shortly after, and the dynamic you all had before yours and Hobie’s attempted murder of each other returns. Except for the constant bickering between you and Hobie. Instead, it’s just a lot of silent glaring, and subtle reactions. “Okay, hold on. What the hell is this?” Miles asks, and you both look at him. “What?” you say at the same time, ending in a side eye to each other. “That! That right there, why aren’t you two threatening to tear each other’s heads off because you said the same thing?” Miles asks, and Hobie shrugs. “I got nothin’ to say to them.”
“Ditto,” you say, and the three of them look at you two like your heads just got cut off. “Are you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m havin’ a laugh, mate?” Hobie snaps at Miles and he puts his hands up in surrender. “This… is odd. I can’t recall the last time it was quiet between you two.”
“Because it never was. They always went for each other’s throats like their own lives depended on it,” Pavitr says to Gwen, and you clear your throat. “We’re right here, you know,” you say with a forced grin. “Yeah, care to save the talkin’ bout us til we aren’t around?” Hobie grumbles and the three glance at each other before nodding. “Sorry, you two…” Gwen says, and you shrug. “It’s whatever. Dealt with worse,” you say, and Hobie nods. He glances over at you again. How is no one else noticing how weird you’re acting? Is he the only one who pays attention to you or some shit?
This isn’t the first time he’s picked up on your odd behaviors. Within the time he knew you, he was able to notice your behaviors unlike anyone else.
He wasn’t necessarily looking for you. He’d never go out of his way to look for you in a million years, yet here he was. In your world because you didn’t show up at the allotted time everyone was gonna meet up at in his world. He webbed up to the tallest building, the Ember Stake Building. It resembled that of a wooden stake, except all black and metal instead of wood. Sure enough, you were there. “You’re late.”
You turn and look at him, but don’t say anything. Instead, you just turn away. He frowns. “What’s that all about, then?” he asks, plopping next to you. You sigh. “I think I’m just gonna stay here tonight.”
“What? Why? Because you’re too borin’ to do anythin’ fun? Gotta work late tonight?”
“No. Personal reasons,” you say and he cocks his head to the side. “Such as?”
“Fuck off, Hobie. I’m not telling you.”
“Yes, you are. What’s goin’ on in that empty head of yours?” he asks and you give him an unamused look. “It’s the anniversary of my Uncle Belial’s death,” you mumble. He frowns. “Ah. I see.”
“...Yeah.” The two of you sit in silence, the wind the only noise happening before he sighs. “Well then, you’re definitely comin’ tonight.” He stands. You look at him. “I just said-”
“And I don’t give a shit. Come on, your friends are waitin’ for you. Besides, they can help ya get your mind off of it. Chop-chop.” You ended up going because you were forced to. But you did have a good time. Hobie was right, it helped you get your mind off of things. And maybe you were reading into it, but he seemed just a tad bit nicer to you that night than normal.
And you could tell his. 
“And what the hell is your problem today?” you appear behind Hobie who is angrily restringing his guitar in his common room at Spider Society. “Well now you’re a part of it,” he responds. You sit on the floor across from him. “As much as I’m happy just my presence can reduce you to a massive asshole, I don’t think I’m the only reason this time.”
“How could you even tell?”
You shrug. “You busy your mind and hands when you’ve got something on your mind,” you say, and he looks at you. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head. “Didn’t realize you were obsessed with me.”
“You wish,” you say. He sighs. “New group of fascist assholes showed up today,” he begrudgingly opens up and you nod. “Told you so.” He glares at you. “Had to say it,” you say, “But you’ll beat them. You always do.” He glances at you. “And if you can’t, I’ll just take care of it for you.” He laughs, unamused. “I’d like to see you try.”
He’s unsure why so many memories are flooding back to him at this moment in time. The answer is that he’s obsessed with you and Pavitr is right, but we don’t need to talk about that until he realizes it for himself. Maybe not seeing you has made him think about you more for some reason. He shakes his head, rejoining the conversation. Everything goes surprisingly well for the rest of the time you all are together. Unfortunately, Gwen gets a notice that something is happening in her world, and she has to go. Miles follows, and Pavitr is torn between going with them or staying with the two of you to make sure no one gets murdered. Or to see some romantic shit.
“We been behavin’, haven’t we?” Hobie says, a bit relieved they were leaving so he could find out what was up with you. You were close with the others, but even they’ve commented on you two only opening up with each other. “You actually have… and maybe it’d be good to leave them alone. Talk out whatever issues they’re having,” Miles says to Pavitr and Gwen, who look at each other but reluctantly agree. Miles and Pav rush into Gwen’s world before her. “I swear if you two kill each other I’m going to kill both of you,” Gwen says, walking backward into the portal to her world and pointing at the two of you. “We won’t.”
“Probably,” Hobie finishes, and Gwen rolls her eyes before disappearing. There’s a silent tension between the two of you before he speaks up. “What happened?”
“I don’t know what you’re–”
“Don’t play dumb with me, now. What happened?” he pushes, and you frown at him. Shadow leaps up into your lap and nuzzles you. You sigh and gently pet him. Hobie stays silent, watching and waiting. “Just… bad day,” you mumble. “Bad day, how?”
“Bad spider day.” He hums. “That why you looked like Pav stabbed ya after that hug?” You look at him, surprised. “You saw that?”
“Course I did. ‘m not fuckin’ daft,” he responds, and you look at Shadow. “Yeah… it’s nothing, though. Just a few scratches, typical Spider-Person shit,” you say, and he nods. “Let me see, then.”
“What?”
“Let me see.”
“Why?”
“Cause you’re lyin’,” he shrugs, and you glare at him. “Have I told you I hated you?”
“Not recently, but yeah.” You glare at him but sigh. “Fuck you, Hobie,” you mumble, but shrug off your oversized cardigan. His eyes widen as he sees deep lacerations and bruises spread across your shoulder and onto your back. He stands up and approaches you without even realizing it. You watch him as he studies your injuries. “Who did this?” His voice sounds darker than you’ve ever heard it. You look away from him. “Does it matter?”
“Yes,” he responds immediately. You turn your head to look at him again, only to have him staring directly into your eyes. “Prowler,” you mumble, and he frowns. “The worst of the worst in your world,” he whispers to himself, recalling a conversation the two of you had months ago. He glances around. “Where’s your first aid kit?” he asks, and you look at him with a side-eye. “Why?”
“Cause I wanna get high off the painkillers in it, why do you think, you dolt?” he snaps, and you point to your bathroom. “Under the sink.” He gets up and walks into your bathroom, grabs the first aid kit, and walks back out to you on your couch. “Turn round and move a bit,” he says, and you do. He sits behind you, starting to clean and stitch to your injuries up. You wince slightly and he frowns. “Why haven’t you done this yet?”
“I can’t reach back there myself.”
“Then ask someone else to do it.”
“I don’t have anyone to ask anymore.”
“Yes, you do,” he says without missing a beat. You turn your head to say something snarky to him, but he looks at you at the same time. Your faces are closer than the two of you expected, causing you both to quickly look away. You can feel your face burning, and you’re grateful the injuries are mainly on your back and not close to your heart because you don’t want to hear his comments about how fast it’s beating. On an equal note, Hobie’s happy you aren’t looking at him because he has his jaw clenched and swallows hard. His heart is beating just as fast, but he pretends like it’s nothing, just like you. He finishes the stitches, placing bandages over top of them. “Done,” he says, and you mutter a quick ‘thank you’ as he tosses the first aid kit onto your coffee table. “Should be healed by tomorrow,” you mumble, and he nods. “When did that happen?”
“A few hours before you all got here,” you admit, and he frowns. “And you were just gonna pretend nothing happened?”
“Yes. I told you earlier, I’m too tired to deal with any bullshit today, okay?” you confess, and he frowns.
“He get ya that good cause you’re tired?”
“I guess.”
“When’s the last time you slept?”
“Dunno.”
“Stop lyin’ love,” he says, and the nickname you hate oh so much sounds just a little sweeter to you than it should. “Couple days ago.”
“You haven’t slept in two days?” You shake your head, and he sighs. “Go the fuck to sleep. Now.”
“But–”
“Go,” he demands, pointing to your bedroom. You groan, “You’re so fucking annoying,” you mumble, getting up and dragging yourself to your room. “Yeah, yeah whatever,” he says, following you. You flop onto your bed as he leans against the doorframe, arms crossed. “Come to tuck me in?”
“You wish,” he watches as Shadow hops up onto your bed, curling up against you. You immediately put your hand on him and pet him. Hobie frowns as he feels a pang of annoyance toward your cat. “Gonna stand there and watch me sleep or something?” your voice pulls him out of his ridiculous thoughts, and he scoffs. “Gonna stand here and make sure you don’t try to get up as soon as I go,” he says, and you sigh. “Fine,” you mutter, rolling away from him. He stands there until he’s sure you’re asleep. He glances at Shadow, who is still awake and staring at him. He puts his finger to his lips to say “shh” as he pulls his mask over his head.
He and the Prowler of this world need to have a bit of a chat.
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wonwoonlight · 2 years ago
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;) / choi seungcheol
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➝ Seungcheol x Reader
➝ idol!au // est relationship // nothing but fluff // reader is an idol too // takes place in this universe
➝ word count: 1.8k
a/n: happy birthday, cheol! just smth short that i wrote for his bday <3 enjoy💕 not proofread lmao
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“Hi.” Seungcheol waves at the camera, waiting for more people to tune in. It’s a random Thursday when he suddenly feels like doing a live, and after confirming with the company that he’ll just be doing a short one, they simply tell him to be careful. He’s long enough in his career to be doing lives on his own in his place, and with him being a leader and all, if there’s any member that they can be sure wouldn’t make a mistake during a live unsupervised, it’d be him.
Or if he makes any, well, it wouldn’t be anything like Mingyu did last month. After all, Seungcheol is currently in a publicly revealed relationship with another idol and that automatically means he’s more careful than anyone.
“I’m at home.” He leans forward to see the comments better, resting his chin on his palm. “Just suddenly felt like turning on the live because I wasn’t doing anything.”
“Huh? ‘Why is the live title different?’ What do you–ah.” He taps on his phone seeing that he accidentally titled his live ‘;)’ instead of the usual smiley face. “I must’ve made a typo.”
He continues to communicate like that, smiling to himself at the sweet questions they ask about you even though he doesn’t answer them as much as he wants to. Yeah, it’s been a year since he went public with his relationship, but the both of you have been keeping it low regardless. He would’ve shown you off everywhere if he could, but you’re more private than he is and he agrees to follow your lead because he’s fine with whatever you’re comfortable with.
At least most of the fans react positively to the news, which is thankfully still the case seeing as how he only sees so little hate comments when it comes to you. He wishes there isn’t any, but with this industry… he can only be thankful that only a very small part of people who claim to be his fans are against his relationship.
He’s just happy he has you by his side.
“It’s my day off today. I don’t have any schedules after this because I did my work out in the morning. Have you guys had dinner? I’m thinking of–” He pauses in the middle of his sentence at the sound of his door opening, eyes turning frantic at the sight of you who don’t seem to realize that he’s currently live.
“Hi! I came early becau–” You press your lips together when you finally notice the phone propped up in front of him, and if that’s not enough, his panicked eyes tell you enough that he’s doing a live.
You’ve promised to drop by later tonight, but because your lesson ends early, you decide to just drive to his place because you want to see him already. Giddy at the prospect of surprising him, you forgot to consider that this is very possible to happen, something that you actually have discussed with Seungcheol before. 
Seungcheol glances at the comment section, heart light with relief at how fans are freaking out: asking if it’s you and they’re all asking him if you can join the live even for a bit. 
“I’m doing a live.” He says for the sake of it, his eyes sorry despite the giddiness in his heart for some reason. You know what he’s asking you though–do you want to join me? Do you want to wait outside? Should I pretend that you’re someone else?
You also know that Seungcheol has been wanting to just… be with you in public. It’s not something he says out loud, but you know him and you know it’s something that he’s always desired. He just wants to love out loud, wants to share what–who–makes him happy with his fans.
Should I say hi? You mouth at him, in which your answer comes in the form of his frantic face melting into a big, giddy smile in a matter of seconds.
“Hi.” You shyly wave at the camera as Seungcheol moves to give you space. “Sorry I disturbed your live. I didn’t know Seungcheol was doing one.”
“They’ve been asking about you anyway.” Seungcheol jokes, nudging you a little. “It’s like they come here to see you.”
You scrunch your nose in embarrassment, still not sure how to act with your boyfriend in front of the camera. You’re used to having him to yourself–not like this, but you can’t help but admit that it does make you giddy to be able to do this with him.
“There’s no way. Anyway, I can just wait outside so don’t feel pressured to end this quickly, okay?”
Noooo, stay with us!!
Don’t go!!! We’re happy to have you here🥺
Do you really have to go?
“See? They all want you here.” Seungcheol grins, getting more and more comfortable the more he sees positive comments about you. He laughs when he catches a funny one, points it at you and reads it to everyone. “Look at this ‘You’re so pretty. Do you need a girlfriend? Dump Seungcheol and come to me?’. I can’t believe you guys are already trying to steal her from me.”
You laugh incredulously, cheeks already hurt from smiling too much.
“Maybe if you make a better ramyeon than him.” You play along. “Seungcheol makes a very good ramyeon, you know?”
“Ah, good to know my cooking ability is a dealbreaker for you.” He nods in satisfaction before proceeding to tell his fans about a recipe he recently tried to make. “Invite her on Coups Coups? Heh, she doesn’t know how to cook.”
“Hey!”
“What? It’s true!”
“Yeah, but still…” You pout, and Seungcheol has to physically restrain himself from kissing the pout off your lips.
“She knows how to bake, though.” He turns back to the camera. “Perhaps we can do a baking episode someday. We’ll see.”
You stay there for another three minutes before excusing yourself, telling him once again that you’re fine waiting so he doesn’t need to end the live quickly for your sake. Waving at the camera and thanking the fans for being kind, you plop down on the sofa in the living room and allow yourself to be giddy for a few moments before texting your manager to let him know about what has just transpired.
It’s almost fifty minutes later that Seungcheol steps out of his room, his grin widens when he sees you playing with your phone. His heart also blooms in size, as much as he’s seen fans supporting you two on the internet, it’s entirely different to be with you on camera and see firsthand how his fans interact with you. He’s glad the experience seems to be pleasant for the both of you, and suddenly wonders if it can be a thing now that this has started.
“Oh, you’re done?” You look up before putting your phone to the table, immediately melt into his side when Seungcheol sits beside you. He doesn’t answer you though, simply cups your cheeks and dives into your lips like he’s been wanting to do since earlier. You smile into the kiss, fingers grasping his shoulder to balance yourself. You feel him smile also, and it’s then that you pull away and share a giggle with each other. “Don’t you look happy.”
“Mmhm.  I was finally able to show you off and my fans love you, this day can’t get any better.” He admits before kissing you on the forehead and pulls away.
“Finally, huh?” You scrunch your nose in embarrassment, though he can tell that you share the sentiment. “Have you talked to your manager about it?”
“Yeah. It’s fine, we didn’t do anything wrong and presumably didn’t say anything wrong. They’re monitoring it immediately, though, just in case.”
“Unlike Mingyu?”
You laugh at his unimpressed expression, only now finding the whole situation funny because Seungcheol, being the leader and all, was quite stressed about it at first.
“Did your manager say anything?”
“No. They… my management has actually been saying that it’s really up to me if I want to appear in public with you.” Seungcheol finds his heart fluttering at how shy you seem to be, the usual telltale of your nervousness showing itself as you play with your fingers.
“Yeah?” He wraps his arms around your shoulder, pulling you closer. “And what did you say?”
“I say I’ll talk about it with you.” You look at him, abashed. “Do you… want to? You know we’ve been getting invitations to appear on shows together, right?”
“I want whatever you want, baby.” He buries his nose into your hair, hopes that his voice doesn’t sound too hopeful as not to pressure you. He’d love to take you with him everywhere, but he knows you still find it bothersome and you like to be careful, which he respects. He understands where you’re coming from, and while he agrees that it’s important to be careful, having dated you for years even prior to the public revelation, he also thinks it would be fun to be able to appear in public with you. “You know I don’t mind anything as long as I’m with you.”
You’re silent for a bit, thinking about how you’ve actually also been wanting to do shows with him. It’s surely going to be different from the short live earlier, but the positive interactions with his fans make you somewhat hopeful and you admit that it’s making you crave for more interactions in the future.
“Perhaps we can start with our self-produced contents first?” You suggest and Seungcheol squeezes your shoulder a little too tight out of excitement. “Baking, you said earlier? And we’ll see after.”
“You’re serious?”
Shrugging, your smile extends into a grin at how happy Seungcheol seems to be. If this is how he looks at the idea of it, you can’t help but imagine how happy he’d be once the idea actually comes to life. “I don’t see why not.”
You yelp when he suddenly pulls you into his lap, hugging you so tight that you can’t help but laugh. You’re pretty sure the loud heartbeat you’re hearing is his, though you won’t be surprised too if it turns out to be yours either way.
“You know, one of the fans asked if I can just name the live with the emoji I used today if you’re ever going to come again in the future.”
“Oh? You used a different smiley face today?”
“By mistake. What do you say? Are you up to more lives with me in the future?”
You pretend to think about it, consider telling him no as a joke but decided against it when you see just how much his eyes are shining in expectation, probably already thinking of a hundred schedules that he can do with you by his side.
“I want whatever you want.” You repeat his words, heart fluttering about what the future might have in store for you and him. And when you see him smile, one of the happiest you’ve ever seen on his face, you know that things are going to be okay as long as you get to keep that smile on his face.
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only-lonely-star · 7 months ago
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Dating Dallas Winston Headcanons !! 💋
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Dallas will catcall you every waking moment of the day. Even though the two of you are already together he'd still make his appearance wherever you are just to whistle lowly and say, “Well damn, look at what I found here,” with the most cheeky grin imaginable. Sometimes it could be verbal, other times he'd be so bold as to give you a small swat or squeeze, followed up by a proud smirk. It's typical for him to pretend he doesn't know you as he does so, just to keep the teasing aspect of your relationship alive.
Dallas most definitely influences you. Whether you were already similar to him or the polar opposite, he’ll always find a way to put you on his favorite song, album, strange food combination, or a different brand of cigarettes. Not only physical items, but mannerisms and small phrases too. Dallas finds it amusing to add a bit of himself into your personality as well as things you enjoy. “Come on, just try it. One time,” is something you hear often.
Though Dallas is careless to most things and couldn’t be bothered to give a shit about his surroundings, he’s always protective of you. He doesn’t outright say much in terms of protecting you, but he’s always aware. He’s aware of the eyes on you and possible dangers. If you ever drown yourself in too many drinks at Buck’s, Dallas would keep his eye on damn near every man in that bar. He wouldn’t say a word about it to you, he’d silently observe and keep watch to make sure you were safe. The last thing he wanted was for you to end up hurt or hanging out with the wrong crowd. He would never let you get stuck in that position.
We all know he has borderline anger issues, a big factor in his behavior with every person he meets. He isn’t afraid to fight anyone including men, women, children, elders, Socs, Greasers- the list goes on. Dallas rarely found you to be annoying which was rare in his case. If an argument ever occurred he’d stand with clenched fists and a clenched jaw instead of taking that physical anger out on you. He cares. A lot.
His idea of a date doesn’t sound too romantic. While most guys take their girlfriends out for nice dinner dates and movie nights, Dallas would simply invite you to bed (take that how you want lmao) and see you behind closed doors. Partying, driving around recklessly, and laying in bed with you are his ideas of what dates are. Hell- he’s never done any of those corny dates to begin with so he didn’t know better. Since he’s more of a loner than anything, he prefers your company beside him late at night. Whether that leads to something or not, that’s your decision because Dallas is always down for extra. He simply enjoys having your limp and calmed body beside him, entangled in his bedsheets.
Dallas takes the nicknames you give him and takes it personally. He isn’t one to care about what people think about him whether it be good or bad. He’s too carefree for that. But of course he cares what you think. His natural cocky, arrogant, big ego type of attitude can become easily bruised. One small comment about his blatantly rude behavior and he’ll remember it forever. He won’t ever change his personality or looks just because of a comment or teasing nickname- but he won’t forget it either.
(that’s all for now, enjoy it loves! ❤️)
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mismatchedwonders · 7 months ago
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I love that even though it was a campy underproduced and (probably) underfunded show, SPN gave us some genuinely GREAT actors.
Like, just look down the list:
Jensen is INVOLVED and CAPTIVATING
Misha is VERSATILE and EMOTIONAL
Jared
Jim is SERIOUS and COMFORTING
Jake is ENERGETIC and ENTERTAINING
JDM is MULTIFACETED and REALISTIC
Ruth is CHARISMATIC and DELIGHTFULLY WICKED
Richard is FUNNY and FLEXIBLE
Rob is INTERESTING and LIKEABLE
Alex is BELIEVABLE and GENUINE
Mark is CONFIDENT and FASCINATING
Samantha is SWEET and GROUNDED
Sebastian is SNARKY and FUN
Mark (P) is SCARY and SYMPATHETIC
Rachel is COOL and PASSIONATE
+a whole lot of others that I can’t remember + a hell of a lot of the guest cast also did sooo good. Just wanted to take a second to celebrate the performances people turned in for the Yeehaw Brothers in the Muscle Car show
Edit since I’m already seeing shit about it: I don’t have replies on bc I never had them on to begin with. In case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t posted on here nearly at all since I got this blog, I don’t care that much about it. This is simply a place where I go to talk into the void so my thoughts aren’t constantly in my brain.
Also, regarding Jared, I have my own complicated feelings about him as a person, especially considering that he’s done a lot of scummy shit and brushed off that behavior with “uwu I have mental health issues” which, yes I can sympathize with since that is an AWFUL thing to struggle with (and I’m in a similar boat when it comes to shit like depression) but that’s not an excuse to behave how he does.
Also, no one else from the show has been able to find work? Lmao fucking where are you getting that? Almost everyone from SPN has acted in at least one other thing since it finished airing, and even some THIS YEAR, whereas Jared has only acted in ONE SHOW that he produced and got created for HIMSELF, and even then it was canceled (bc it wasn’t that well-reviewed by anyone, even by wipe who like the guy).
I don’t categorically hate ALL of his acting, there are a few episodes where he is genuinely good. But he just progressively got worse and worse over the series. And as for the “steady acting career” before SPN, sure, if you count roles in D-list mediocre movies as steady work. And in a lot of those, his acting isn’t much different.
And I know for a fact that people will say stuff like “well if he’s so untalented/unpleasant, why was he kept on? Why does he have work?” Well, see above, and there are plenty of fundamentally untalented actors that continue to get work bc they’re conventionally attractive
So yeah, just a bit of clarification
Have a lovely day 😘❤️
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angelwishess · 2 months ago
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I mentioned this before— But the character Kyra was originally meant to be shipped with was actually Jamil. But!! After some thought, I ultimately decided that Floyd would be a better partner for Kyra instead.
Soo, take this post as me rambling about how and why Floyra came to be, and why I scrapped the Jamyra concept all together.
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Kyra already had an established character and backstory before being shipped with anyone. Usually, I like to create the characters and flesh them out before shipping them with anyone. Although there are times where I do create characters for the sake of shipping (*cough cough* Jester *cough cough*) my process with developing OCs usually focuses on them as a character individually first, then their relationships with canon characters after.
And at first, I thought the idea of Jamil x Kyra was interesting. My main reasoning for Kyra x Jamil was the idea of it.
Caged bird metaphors for days, both come from somewhat similar issues when it comes to not being allowed to be their own person, ect ect. (Also, if you couldnt tell already im a SUCKER for Opposites Attract and Grumpy x Sunshine)
In a way, I liked it because they were so similar yet so different lorewise, having this strict set of expectations put unto them and not being able to act against those expectations— but yet, despite how similar they are, they ended up completely different.
And while it is a good trope— It just simply doesn’t work. Why? Well, because Jamil, putting it bluntly, isn’t the kind of person that would be best for Kyra. (ITS OKAY!!! HES STILL BIG BRO!!!!! I saved him from a neverending headache w Kyra LMFAOO)
I started to take into consideration Kyra herself. What kind of person would she want? How does she love? What kind of person would she be attracted to? What does she need in someone? Who would make her happy?
after having to bottle up all her feelings and ignoring her own desires and wants— Kyra needs someone that would support her.
She doesn’t need nor wants someone to stop her from doing the things that she does, what she needs is someone to support her. And I doubt that Jamil would be supportive of her shennanigans LMAOO 😭
Then I got to thinking, if not Jamil who else could I ship her with ??
Then I realized, “Oh, Floyd would be perfect, wouldn’t he?”
Now, Floyd has always been my favorite character from TWST! But I just didnt want to be biased and miss out on good ship material with another character😭 funny how it worked out though WHAHAHA
Not only would Floyd support her shennanigans— he’d encourage her to do it. And while that probably isn’t the best in some cases, Kyra definetly deserves someone that would support her actual wants after all this time.
I mentioned this before, but Kyra sees alot of herself in Floyd. Yeah, they are weirdly similar (and that actually was not planned), and thats exactly the reason why Kyra was ever attracted to Floyd in the first place. (In general, not even romantically lmao)
And seeing him show all of these traits without a care in the world, to act out on what he feels and what he wants, it encourages her to do the same. And it encourages her to be herself even more, which is exactly what she needs!
There are still times Kyra is hesitant to do things, old habits die hard, but Floyd just being himself is enough to encourage Kyra to do the same. He influences her in a way others view as “bad”, but for someone like Kyra, its honestly the best for her.
Not only that, but I personally see Floyd as the kind of person to not really care about looks. Yeah, he can see when someone’s attractive and he acknowledges it, but he really does not care 😭
In my opinion, he values personality much more. Anyone who can entertain him or whoever he deems “fun”.
Kyra has never been seen for anything other than her beauty. Always seen but never heard. And while Floyd does think shes pretty… He really didn’t care about that when they first met LMAOO
It would be refreshing for Kyra to have someone who actually didn’t care all that much for her appearance. Instead hanging out with her for her personality. She was so used to men always sticking by her because of her pretty face that it was a breath of fresh air when she realized that Floyd wasn’t like that, and they were just genuinely friends.
The fact that Floyd doesnt care about appearances at all shouldn’t really be a big deal, but Kyra would be OVER THE MOON about it.
“Ah, I don’t care about that sorta thing. If you were boring, I would’ve ditched you a long time ago, hahaha!” And now suddenly Kyra is swooning and fanning herself and getting weak in the knees and blushing and giggling and kicking her feet and twirling her hair and—💥💥💥
Kyra needs a best friend in a partner. Someone that makes her want to open up and be vulnerable, but also makes her loosen up and have fun. She needs someone that can support her and can keep up with her regardless of how chaotic and rambunctious she can get— and who better than the menace himself??
No one can keep up with Kyra. And no one can really keep up with Floyd, either (Well, besides Jade, that is.). It was perfect! Because turns out, they’re the only ones that can keep up with eachother.
While continuing to think on it, I began realizing that they were also similar in other ways! And they can definetly understand eachother because of it.
Two people who have never had anyone bother to even try and understand them, no one really trying to look underneath the surface. Thinking that because of that, they dont “need” anyone to. But when they find eachother?? AUGH, they realize it really does feel nice for someone to “get it”.
Floyd understands and encourages Kyra in a way I don’t think Jamil could, and so !!! Floyra became a thing!!! YIPPEEYIPPEYIPPEEEE !!!!
My perfect little weirdos, even if no one really gets them they understand eachother better than anyone else can, and thats all that really matters. Their similarities in personality and ideals that brought them together, and I’m really just a sucker for the whole soulmates thing 😭
While of course, there are definetly flaws— with Kyra’s secretive nature and both of them being somewhat afraid of opening up and being vulnerable, its also because of those flaws that they end up working together. Because for once, they found someone that can truly understand them, and they’d be damned to let them slip away.
Anyways !! Ya thats all , ty for reading my silly little yap sesh !! 💗💗
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Tagging!: @screamintoad @taruruchi 👁️👁️ floyra food …
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licityvibes · 1 year ago
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Limitless (through the night)
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Author: orshii
Pairing: biker! Choi San x female reader
Warnings: cursing, brief mention of death
Word count: 11,5 k
Summary: You have broken the rules, again. The punishment? You’re moving in with your father, sent back to your hometown which you had grown to be a stranger to. What happens when old affairs return in the form of Choi San? The only guy you wished to forever avoid, the guy who was a menace and always knew which buttons to push.
Will he put aside your differences and help you out when you get in trouble again?
A/N: Wow, I guess I'm here again...Ever since I saw these pictures of San, I'm obsessed with it, so a story kinda popped out of my mind lol. Like, I'll just never get over biker San pls, he drives me crazy, and I don't like it (lie). Anyways, thank you for my talented bestie @bvidzsoo for helping me a lot. I'm really a newbie to this whole writing and Tumblr world so, ly bestie hehet. Please, enjoy! I'mma be back soon, with a Hongjoong series too, lmao. Okay, byee, xoxo, orshii. (divider)
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Moving to a new place could excite you due to all the new opportunities coming your way, alongside with new people, which may become your new friends.
In my case it wasn't like this. I was moving back to my hometown, which I have left almost ten years ago, leaving behind my father and all the people who I was once close with.
Now, I'm on my way back to my father, back to the house where we once were a happy family. My mother left my father, because it seemed like my father cheated on her. But the actual truth was that she just wanted to escape from this little town. She had no opportunities here, so she just blamed everything on him to have a reason to leave this shitty little town behind, alongside with me. I was only 10 years old, I did not understand back then what the hell was happening, so I just went with her. We moved to a bigger city, which was full with people. I never liked it, I hate crowds, I hate how the city is full with life.
After a while, my mother met someone and he was rich, so, we moved into a bigger house, which looked like a castle. I did not like it; I like simple things. I liked our old house, where the walls were cracked like a river spreading through the map. It was beautiful in its own way.
So why am I going back again to my hometown? I look to my left, where my mother is driving. She looked tired and mad; she was continuously frowning while she was driving. Maybe she was thinking about how she could bring a child like me into this world. Of course, I was the cause of going back to my hometown. It was my punishment.
 I'm going to be honest, lying isn’t something I do often. Since I was little, I adored motorcycles. They are so beautifully shaped and their sound is simply music to my ears. I love watching them through the TV, the bikers riding their fancy motorcycles and competing against each other, going in circles like Formula 1 cars on the circuits.
 My dad had owned an old Yamaha, it was beautiful. He noticed that I adored it, and so, he taught me everything about motorbikes; which part of the bike belongs where, he even taught me how to repair some broken parts. That was the moment I fell in love with motorbikes. I could not wait until I grew up and finally got my license. I had one purpose in life, and that was it.
And after a lot of patience, I finally got my license, but I had no motorbike. This became my next goal. To buy a bike. I succeeded doing that too, and I was proud of myself.
I looked back, where my beautiful matte black Yamaha R6 was tied safely onto the trailer. After I bought Toothless—I have named it that—I naturally joined a motorbike gang and slowly got into the world of racing. But these were illegal affairs, illegal races. You’d rarely get caught, so I didn’t worry about it. But one day I made a very bad mistake and I was left to face the cops. I was alone, the others—whom I considered my friends—left me there, letting me face the repercussions all on my own. As soon as my mother got me out of the police station and we got home, she started packing my things, saying 'You're moving in with your father.' My opinion did not matter, it was settled, and I just needed to obey. I did not care about anything at that point, so I just went with it without a word. Since that incident I did not want to make any friends, I did not trust people anymore, not even my mother. She betrayed me by sending me back to our hometown, treating me like I was a nobody to her. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I am used of being passed around by others.
As soon as we drove through the streets of my hometown, little memories started resurfacing and I smiled. It was good to be back, to be honest, I have always loved this area. I never actually wanted to leave it behind, I just really had no choice but to do otherwise.
When we finally arrived to the house where we had once lived, a whirlwind of emotions hit me like a truck. My father stepped out from his car service, wiping his oily hands onto a used black cloth, which was once white. He looked tired and worried, mimicking the same expressions reflected on my mother’s face.
I stepped out from the car, looking around a little bit. Nothing has changed since I had last been here, and that was a long time ago. We never came back after the separation, my father used to visit us when he had the time, but it was rare, and our relationship went from having a happy father-daughter connection, to a shallow 'How's school? Good.' connection.
As I looked around, my parents were talking quietly just so I wouldn’t overhear them, but I knew they were talking about me. They were talking, and then suddenly my mother was moving, giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying 'Don't get into any trouble', leaving me there like I was an abandoned cat, handed back to the streets because it kept causing trouble. She chose the easier way, passing me into the hands of my father.
I pushed my bike into the garage and covered it with a blanket, I did not want Toothless to be dusty from all the dirt flying around the air. My dad showed me around the house acting as if I was there for the first time. I stepped inside my old room; everything was just how I had left it. The old drawing in which I had drawn our once happy family, and even my little pink shoes, which I had cried about leaving behind accidentally. Everything was the same, except me.
I got enrolled into the local University. I wanted to learn still as I had nothing to do; I needed to keep my mind busy. As I was headed to the new University on my bike, I felt anxiety crawling up through my body. I never liked new places, and besides, this was a little town, everyone knew everyone. And so, I was the new girl in town to them. The girl who came back after years of being gone. I don't really think anybody is actually aware of who am I. I had changed.
I arrived to the parking lot of the university, and cut the engine of Toothless. I sighed before I got off my bike, taking off my raven black helmet with red lines on it. My anxiety had finally crawled through my body, managing to reach my mind and thoughts, clouding them and keeping me locked in, not letting me go for even a second. My thoughts had always been my biggest enemy. Overthinking made me feel anxious about even the littlest things. It wasn’t good as this influenced my behavior, all the time. I tried to gather myself, not having noticed that somebody was watching me.
"Princess is back in town and has a little motorcycle, I see." I jumped at the sudden deep voice coming from behind me.
I turned around and saw a very familiar looking, handsome, guy in front of me, but I did not remember his name. He was smirking at me, his eyes sharp like a knife, glaring at me like he was a predator and I was his prey. He was wearing a black hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, with black shorts that reached his knees, pairing with red Jordans.
"And who are you?" I asked frowning; I really did not know him, he looked familiar, but I could not place a name to his face.
He just tilted his head, looking at me sharper than before, "You don't remember me? I'm Choi San."
He was frowning his thick eyebrows, a little cut in his left eyebrow making his glare more intense.
Choi San, the mayor's son. Now I knew who he was, and I did not fucking like him. He was always the annoying rich kid from school, always stuck-up, acting all-mighty due to his family being rich. And he didn’t like me either anymore. At the beginning we were friends, but then shit started happening at home—my parents arguing constantly, not even noticing me anymore—and so, I closed myself off, not wanting to befriend anyone. I was just a child, my parents constantly arguing was a big enough trauma for me to stop caring about other things. So, I pushed San away, who, I assume, took it to heart since he started hating me and acting like a total jackass, not letting me live. It was like that until I left my hometown, leaving everyone behind.
"Oh, well then, I don't care." I said while grabbing my helmet from my bike and turning around to leave. I did not have the energy for this arrogant prick, he didn’t change at all, I could tell by his one little sentence.
He laughed, "Princess is mad, huh? Is that a Yamaha R1?"
He had asked while pointing at my bike, not letting me leave quite yet.
I sighed and turned around looking at him annoyed, "No, it's an R6."
My answer was short and snappy.
"That's from one of the newest series. I bet you begged on your knees your rich stepfather to buy it for you." He laughed sarcastically, and it sounded like an engine that needed an oil change. I sneered at the thought.
It hurt, it hurt because he didn’t know how many days I didn’t sleep because I had shift after shift, working my ass off. My stepfather and mother didn’t want to buy me a bike, actually they hated just the idea of it, but I didn’t care, so I took as many jobs as I could, and after three years of hard work, I finally get to buy this beauty. It had nothing to do with my stepfather. San was just being his old self, being an asshole, judging even though he did not know anything at all.
"Just fuck off, San." I snapped before walking towards the building. I was starting to get annoyed, but I didn’t let it show because I knew that was what he wanted out of this exchange. To piss me off, get on my nerves.
I finally stepped inside the building. I was a bit lost; I didn't know where I was supposed to go now.
"Let's race someday or are you scared, baby?" But San suddenly stopped next to me, looking at me arrogantly, not leaving me alone.
I laughed at the nickname, it was cringe, what the hell was he thinking? "I don't do shit like that."
I didn’t even spare him a glance.
"Then why do you have a motorbike?" San asked, looking at me like the police officer had when he was interrogating me.
"I obviously use it to go to church." I rolled my eyes as I started walking down the corridor. I got a lot of curious looks from the other students littered around in the hallways.
"I bet you raced in that big town of yours." San said, of course, following me.
I suddenly stopped in my tracks, and looked at him with deadly eyes, "Can't you just go and fucking annoy somebody else?"
"Princess is being mean for what? I just wanted to welcome you back in town." He said with a smirk on his lips.
"Oh, how humble" I said ironically, "Thank you for your kindness."
I smiled at him and saluted him before turning around. I did not have the energy for this egoistic guy.
I somehow found the director's office. He handed over my schedule and wished me good luck, and I was abandoned again in the empty corridor.
I was looking at my schedule, trying to figure out which classroom I needed to get in.
 "Hey, new girl, are you lost?" I heard a voice calling out to—me— I had assumed.
I looked up and I found myself standing in front of a tall, black-haired boy, with the kindest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing bright colors, which highlighted his bright smiley face, he looked like a walking sunshine.
"Hi, yes, a little bit." I said while looking at my schedule confused.
"Let me see." He took the paper from my hands and looked at it humming, "Oh, you are in the same major as me. I'm headed to that class; I can show you the way."
He offered me up with a sweet smile.
"Oh my god, thank you, you saved me." I huffed the air out from my lungs.
"This way." He pointed out the direction with his finger, and we started to walk towards the classroom.
"By the way, I'm Yunho." He said, reaching his hand out towards me.
I smiled while shaking his hand, "Y/N, nice to meet you. How did you know I am the new girl?"
I had asked him curiously.
"Everyone knows, it's a little town, the rumors here spread like the plague." He shivered with a smile.
I chuckled, "Oh, I see. Too bad, I just wanted to remain unknown."
"Your dad is quite famous in town, did you know? So, I assume he told someone you are coming, and puff, the rumors are everywhere." He gave me a side glance as he smiled.
"Yeah, maybe." I said, thinking about the fact that my father has a car service, which, I assume, is the only one in town. Therefore, people meet up with him constantly, thinking more of it, it isn’t a surprise that people know who I am, in the end it, it is a little town. We arrived to the classroom, and headed in.
The day went by quickly. I was glad I met Yunho, he was a funny guy, and he led me around the University, making funny comments about some students. I really needed him in order to integrate into this new community, which I was once part of ten years ago. It was as if I had to relive the past, as if I was walking down the same path, I had done so ten years ago, a path which might have changed during my absence. It felt like I had to start everything from the very beginning.
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  The days passed by quickly, and I just tried to avoid being in the spotlight as I found out everyone knew me, but I knew nobody, because who would remember the people they had met while being just a little kid? As I was randomly walking on the street, headed to get some groceries, random people would say hello and even ask how my mom was. I just quickly answered them, but I didn’t know who they were.  I didn’t like the attention, when all the eyes were on me, so I tried to lay low, live my life quietly.
Then one day, as I had gotten closer to Yunho, he somehow convinced me to attend a party held by some guy named Song Mingi. I wore casual clothes, meaning simple black ripped jeans paired with a black crop-top, and a leather jacket. I am a biker, so the leather jacket is a must, even when you have to leave your bike behind, as I had done now. I felt like drinking something. I hadn’t gotten drunken in a while, not that this was my purpose for the night.
Yunho came to pick me up with his navy-blue Nissan GT-R. The car was beautiful inside out. And that is when I found out that Yunho used to do street racing, held by some local racing company. That's another reason as to why we became friends so quickly, as we were interested in the same things.
  When we arrived to the house where the party was held at, it was already crowded. Luckily, there was the opportunity to stay outside, next to the pool, and so, I told Yunho I didn't really want to go into the crowd. He stayed with me, and to our luck, we found some alcohol outside too. There was a table next to the pool, and there were a whole bunch of alcoholic drinks on it, so, we took some tequila shots. As we were talking about some of Yunho's street races, I heard someone approaching us.
"Where did you leave your expensive bike, princess?" He clapped his hands together, reaching for a can of beer, opening it quickly with his thumb. He was wearing dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and on top a leather jacket. At least he knew the unsaid rule of the bikers. Leather jacket is a must, like I have said.
I looked at him with a glare, "I left it at church since I got drunk on the communion wine."
I said annoyed as it was my last wish to meet him tonight, “Just leave me alone, San.”
"Where's the fun in that?" He leaned close to my face, bending down to be at the same height as me, whispering it in my face.
"The fun must be where you brain is, which you seem to be lacking in." I pointed at his head.
He laughed loudly, "You'll see where is the fun when I beat you at the race."
He glared at me with his typical sharp gaze. It whispered danger. And I liked danger.
“I said I don’t race; do you have issues with your long-term memory now?” Despite meaning to be teasing and unabashed, my voice came out a little angry as I frowned.
“I saw the news about your little incident. You can’t be fooling everyone and telling them you nearly got arrested, princess.” He spread his arms, as he raised his voice, so everyone could hear it who was outside. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, coming closer, way too interested in hearing what the whole fiasco was about.
My blood had started boiling and I clenched my fists together, until my knuckles turned white. I was blinded by my sudden anger towards San, I just wanted to wipe that annoying, arrogant, smile off of his face. I stepped closer to him, my face inches away from his, as his back was facing the pool. He just needed a little encouragement for a swim, and so, I strongly pushed him towards the pool, and before he could fall in, I quickly whisked the beer out of his hand, and lifted it into the air.
“Have a good swimming, Choi San.” I placed the beer down on the table. That was my que to leave him there. I could feel his glare pointed at my back from the pool as he swum to the surface. I could feel his annoyance, that he felt embarrassed. I smirked to myself, Choi San, you have no idea whom you’re trying to annoy. Yunho came after me quickly and gave me a high-five for the move I had just pulled off.
  The next hours at the party were spent by drinking and dancing, as I went into the dancing crowd. I just wanted to disappear in the crowd and feel good. I tried to avoid San the whole night as I didn’t want to see his furious side, San, who got humiliated by me. It was funny, I had to smile the whole time as I remembered his face when I pushed him into the pool, amused by the whole ordeal. I also got to know the guy who threw the party as Yunho introduced us to each other. Mingi was a tiny bit shorter than Yunho, but you could barely notice. He had a buzz cut and rocked his blonde hair; his sharp nose completed his small eyes well. He wore a black T-shirt with some silver necklaces around his neck, and black ripped jeans. His nails were painted black with some rings on his fingers. I am not going to lie; he was hot as hell. And I also found out that he races alongside with Yunho. He owns a Toyota Supra, and that nearly made me faint when he told me about it, because it’s a rare car. He then proceeded to show it to me. It was so beautiful and unique due to its painting. It was kind of a papaya orange with some words on it painted on it, 'Fix on' and 'Youth'. I really liked it.
I had asked the boys about what kind of race San spoke about, and they said it’s an illegal motorbike race, which happen to be very rare here. I quickly tried to forget about it. I didn't want to cause trouble again; I had promised my mom and also myself to stay low, to be better. San was just provoking me; I wouldn’t fall into his trap.
  The next day at university as I was walking down the corridor, headed to the cafeteria, something immediately caught my eyes. It was a poster with a motorbike on it, of course it caught my eyes. I went closer to read it. It said that a motorbike competition was to be held, and the prize were some new parts to upgrade your motorcycle. This was the competition San was talking about, and it's going to be held tonight on the deserted streets of the city. I'm not going to lie; it piqued my interest. I miss speeding down the roads, the adrenaline coursing through my veins every time I race. And my bike is in urgent need of an upgrade, because these past days it felt like something was wrong with it, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. For now, I'm going to let it go, but I still took the poster with me…just in case.
Evening came and I was in my room, I barely talked to my father all day, nothing unusual. Sometimes when I'm alone, and that happens a lot recently, I just start thinking about useless things that make me feel weak. I have never opened up to anyone before, I was never that kind of person, and besides, I always thought it's useless to open up to someone, because in the end they never truly care about me. And the fact that I was betrayed by my own "friends", it just confirms that I really should just stick to myself. I'm not going to say that it didn’t hurt when I saw my friends running away from the police, pushing me straight in front of them, telling me, "You are the new girl, handle it." Funny, I'm the new girl everywhere, I'm not going to belong anywhere, I am always going to be the new girl. They thought it was a nice joke, it wasn't; it ruined me. I started to think that the problem was me, that I deserved this, that I am not enough. As some time went by, I realized it wasn't my fault, but these thoughts still remained deep in my heart. And I will carry it with myself for a long time.
Here I am again, thinking about these things. These are those moments, when I need to clear my head. My solution for it is going out into the chilly air with my bike, cutting through the wind with the highest speed my bike can handle. The feeling of it being night, and I'm alone with Toothless, speeding through unknown streets, I feel like it's just me and my bike in this whole world. It’s like therapy for me. It just…understands me, just like the feeling you get while listening to music; sometimes you listen to a sad song, it makes you sad, it just describes your feelings, but if you are happy and you listen to that exact same song, it'll bring happy tears out of you.
  I was going around the city aimlessly, when suddenly I saw a bunch of bikers headed somewhere. That's when I realized they were going to the competition. My heart started to beat quickly. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly, just the thought of racing made my blood boil, my skin itch, awakening my body like nothing else.
And as I kept following after them, suddenly I realized I arrived to the location of the competition. It was really my subconscious taking over, driving me here. I slowed down a little. There were a lot of people around crowding the bikers, watching their unique motorcycles. Some background music accompanied the sound of the engines as it melted together, creating an intriguing melody. The atmosphere here were totally different compared to the one in the big city. Back there it was just serious faces, who hated each other. But here, I only saw smiles and laughs even between the racers as it seemed like everyone looked at each other friendly, not viewing the other as the enemy.
I stopped my bike, turning the engine off after having parked it. I noticed some curious eyes on me. I didn't know what to do now, I was totally alone. I didn’t know anyone, but I needed to fight my anxiety as I took my helmet off. My helmet always gave me safety, kept me unknown, and that's what I always wanted.
When I stepped next to my bike, someone immediately caught me into a hug. It was Yunho. He lifted me up in the air and smiled.
"Oh my God, you are here, Y/N!" He said excitedly, putting me down.
I laughed, "Yes, I am. I don't know how exactly, I was out for a ride, and then I found myself here."
I said placing my helmet down on my bike.
"I am so happy you are here." Yunho said, his smile never disappearing.
"Yeah, I can see that." I chuckled looking at his bright face.
"Will you sign up for the competition?" He asked me with curious eyes.
I sighed, "I'm here so—I guess?"
I lifted my hands into the air, shrugging.
"Yes!" Yunho fist bumped the air happily, making me chuckle.
He then led me to a person at which I needed to sign up for the competition. I didn't know who I was going to compete against, just until Choi San came to sign up as well. I had already finished signing up as I stood aside with Yunho, while he leaned towards me and quietly started to introduce each racer.
"Did you know that we are going to race against each other, princess?" San said, throwing a quick glance my way with his sharp eyes, signing the paper in front of him. I checked him out very quickly, hoping nobody would notice. He was wearing his typical leather jacket but with a black T-shirt underneath, and ripped jeans this time. His black hair fell into his eyes as he finished filling out the paper. Every woman very noticeably thirsted after him, and I wasn't an exception…he’s fucking hot. What a shame he has a shitty personality.
I rolled my eyes and ignored him, tuning to face Yunho, who was talking to some guy I didn't know. Did San really not understand that I didn’t want to talk to him?
"I want to race against her." I heard San's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to look at him annoyed.
"You can’t get rid of me so fast." He winked at me, that fucker.
"I will, on the track." I smiled at him sweetly, turning around again as I went back to my bike with Yunho, adrenaline slowly starting to course through my body. I had to win this, I had to wipe that confident smile off of San's face.
The race started, it was a drag racing, meaning three bikers were lined on the starting point, it was a shorter straight section, then as the lights turned green from red, you just needed to shift the gears up as perfectly as you could. The first who reaches the finish line wins. Speed mattered only here, and how detailed you are about the gearing.
A few bikers were already done with the race, and I watched them curiously. Slowly, it was our turn to race. People were loud and they cheered whenever their favorites won.
I rolled over to the starting point. One guy was already there and I found out that I'm going to race against San and a guy named Hongjoong, whose nickname was the Devil. I didn't know him, but Yunho said he is one of the most well-known bikers in the town. He had a Honda CBR. His bike was sick, it was bright red and the owner sitting on it with his red helmet really looked like the Devil himself, I get why they call him that.
As I rolled next to him, I glanced towards my right as he was there. He looked at me and bowed his head, I did the same. It was a sign of respect. I liked the guy already.
San arrived to my left side with his Suzuki GSX, painted also with a very dark red, reminding me of blood, mixed with some black. These guys weren't playing, their bikes were absolute monsters. I could almost hide with Toothless, but my bike was almost on the same level as theirs, so I saw hope in winning this.
When the announcer spoke, saying our names and a few things about our motorbikes, I slowly started to focus on the task at hand. I did not hear anything else, just my fast-beating heart. I fixed my eyes ahead, breathing in and out. The engine sounds pushed away the crowd’s noise. The red light suddenly switched green, and I quickly lifted my left foot off the ground, concentrating on the perfect timing of the gearing, bending over a little to adjust with the speed. From the outside it looks like three bikes quickly reach the finish line, but when you are the driver, it feels like the longest minutes of your life.
At the beginning the three of us were head-to-head, then I was the one who was leading. I could feel the victory coursing through my bloodstream already. But suddenly, I heard a puffing noise from my engine, and it stopped without any warning. My bike started to slow, the thoughts of winning long forgotten.
'Shit, shit, no, no, no, no, no!' I mumbled to myself. I could barely stop; my bike was still resonating.
The two other racers quickly passed by me, leaving me with my broken bike. I glanced forward and saw San reaching the finish line first. I was so fucking close. I hit my bike angrily, and got off it to push it over to the side. This is the worst feeling ever, when you are so close that you can already feel the win, but then something out of your control happens and it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it, you’re only left with cursing the world, asking, 'Why me?'
I could feel something was faulty with my bike, but I didn't think it was this bad. I heard someone running my way. It was Yunho, and when he reached me, he leaned his hands on his knees, catching his breath.
"Fuck, what happened?" He asked straightening up, still breathing quickly from running.
"I don't know, the engine just stopped working." I kicked my bike. I loved Toothless, but when it did things like this, I felt like I was going to throw it out.
Yunho came closer to my bike, to try and see what the problem was. He crouched down to take a closer look as I stood next to him, using the flash of my phone to help him see better. I heard an engine slowing down next to us. Of course it was San, he took his black helmet off, smiling at me deviously.
"Daddy's money wasn't enough for a normal motor? It’s called karma, princess.” He said with a death glare, smirking annoyingly. “This is because you fucking pushed me into the pool."
Why the hell did he enjoy spitting out words that made no sense at all?
I could feel my blood boiling, my biggest desire at the moment being the want to punch that confident smile off his annoying face. I was so close doing it, I swear to God, I was ready to punch him hard, but that little sanity I was clinging on to did not let it happen. I always had problems controlling my anger. But slowly, I learned to handle it. I learned how to manage these feelings, so I just let it bounce off of me.
"Next time I’m going to push you into the sea, if you don’t stop being an asshole. Go, celebrate your fucking win, you really deserve it." I said, staring at him with deadly eyes.
"Your wish is my command, Princess." He saluted with a smirk, and then placed his helmet back on, driving away with his annoyingly loud engine. I scoffed as I watched him roll away.
"I think I'm going to call my dad, there's no hope in fixing it." I sighed. I'm going to get into so much trouble now. I was forbidden from racing, my dad won't be happy, I'm sure. But it is what it is. At least the cops didn't show up this time.
I called my dad and told him what happened. I was nervous of how he would react. To my surprise, his first question was about my well-being. He said he was coming.
While I was waiting alone for my dad—I told Yunho that he could since my dad was coming— Hongjoong stopped by my side, taking his helmet off. His blonde hair fell into his face as he ruffled his hair. He was damn handsome, he looked so soft, the opposite of his nickname.
"Everything alright?" He asked, his eyes full of understanding.
"Not really, my engine is broken, so yeah…" I said with a sad smile.
"Can I help you with anything?" He looked at me as if he really understood what I was feeling right now.
"No, thank you, I'm waiting for my dad to pick us up." I pointed at my bike.
"Okay, such a shame this happened. It was a good race." He smiled at me and then reached his fist towards me.
"Yeah, it could’ve be a good one." I fist bumped him, smiling.
"Next time perhaps then." He winked at me sweetly, "If you need any help, I'mma be around." He put his helmet back on.
"Okay, thank you." I smiled at him sincerely.
He rolled away quickly, leaving me there with my thoughts. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Why aren't there more people like him on Earth? He looks like an angel, not like the devil I suppose he is—on track. I was intrigued, I wanted to get to know him better. San could really learn a thing or two from him.
  My dad arrived after a few minutes and we quietly placed my bike up on the trailer. As we were headed home, silence settled around us. I could feel he was pissed.
"I'm sorry." I said, looking straight ahead at the road, not wanting to see his disappointed expression.
"What did you think?" He started, "That you would race and I wouldn’t ever find out about it? It's a little town, Y/N, you already know how fast rumors spread here."
He glanced at me for a second.
"I know, I didn’t think, I just miss racing." Tears appeared in my eyes. "Please don't tell mom. She will send me to Azkaban after this."
Call it a defense mechanism, a trauma response, but I had always been like this…joking in serious situations.
I glanced at him and saw a very small smile appear on his lips, "I won't tell her, but it was very bold of you to race again. You can't do that, you know it, it'll have consequences."
He lectured me.
"Yeah, I know. Thank you for not telling mom." I said, relief spreading through my body.
"But you're still punished. You have to help me in the car service after school." He said glancing at me with a serious look.
"Okay, and maybe we could fix my bike too?" I said, glancing at him with a smile.
My father smiled back, "Maybe after we fixed some cars, we could check it out next week."
I clapped happily, "Thank you!"
The rest of the ride until we got home was quiet, I was happy my father was this understanding. I thought as soon as he finds it out, he'll send me back to mom, passing me between each other like I was a tennis ball. But to my surprise, it was the opposite, and I really didn't mind working in the car service. At least we could spend some more time together. I hoped we could fix our relationship, alongside with the cars, of course.
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  My days went by and they all were quite the same. I attended my classes at university, then my whole afternoon went by fixing cars with my father. He managed to teach me a lot of things about cars, even though my world was all about motorbikes I was always interested in cars too. I was planning on buying a car, but I needed to put that aspiration aside for a while. My priority was fixing my bike so I could finally ride it.
We checked out my bike and we found out that my engine was overheated, and that's why it shut down. An engine upgrade was needed, and we changed the turbo as well while we were at it. It was going to be even more powerful than before; I was so excited to finally try it out. On some days, Yunho and Mingi would come by the car service to check on me, and they even started helping me out in fixing my bike. We started getting closer, we laughed a lot in between the late-night repairing.
Yunho and Mingi invited me to watch their races, which were going to be held today. I had never been to races like this one before, so I happily accepted the invitation. I could finally try my bike out as I was headed to the race. It felt so good riding it again after a while. I felt like I could breathe again. I think I had gotten addicted to this feeling.
The race was held at the race track of the town, in the afternoon. The sun was slowly going down as I rode my bike, painting my black bike and helmet with the shade of dark orange.
When I arrived to the track, there were lots of people being excited about the race. It was a drag race again, but with cars this time. I looked around and I saw different types of cars, each looking very sick and unique. I started to feel excited as I was rolling down between the cars, searching for Yunho's parked car.
Then, I suddenly recognized someone with a blonde hair. He noticed me and started walking towards me with a smile. I stopped and took off my helmet.
"Fixed your bike, huh?" Hongjoong approached me with a genuine smile.
"Yeah, finally." I pet my bike with a smile.
"I'm glad, we shall try it out some day." He said with his white teeth flashing.
"We shall." I smiled back at him. I would wholeheartedly race with him again.
"Are you racing?" I asked with a frown.
"No, I came to watch, I won't betray my beast." He laughed sweetly. I swear to God, his laugh was like music to my ears, "You came to watch too?"
"Yeah, I've never been to races like this one before." I said, feeling excited.
"We can watch it together; I know the best place where we can watch it from." Hongjoong offered with a sweet smile.
"Okay." I accepted his offer quite easily, "But first, I want to wish Yunho and Mingi good luck."
"Come, you can put your bike down there, I’ll show you where they are." He pointed towards my right, where I could park my bike.
I pushed my bike to the designated area, and brought my helmet with myself. I did not want to leave my treasure there. Hongjoong lead the way to where Yunho's blue GT-R was parked, next to Mingi's orange Supra. These two cars next to each other looked so good. I was very tempted to take a picture of them.
I approached Yunho and hugged him from behind, surprising him. He laughed, "You came, finally."
"I would never miss it." I smiled looking up at him. He was wearing his racing suit with colors that matched his car. His hair was lazily brushed over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.
I hugged Mingi too, the top part of his orange racing suit lazily hung around his waist, a white T-shirt underneath. This orange clothing suit him very well, highlighting his blonde buzz cut. They looked handsome. What is it today, everyone is looking so good?!
"I'm going to be in the crowd, watching you guys, good luck. Fighting!" I smiled and hugged them both again. Hongjoong also wished them good luck, resorting to giving them high-fives.
"Thanks, we'll try." Yunho said laughing.
We then walked to the spot Hongjoong mentioned before. It was really a good one, we could see everything from here. The crowd started to cheer as the first cars appeared on the track. It was a 2v2. Yunho was the first one, competing against a Mitsubishi Lancer. It was going to be hard to beat that car, but Yunho did not disappoint, and he won with a lot of advantage. Every minute counted here; they were measuring the time up until you crossed the finish line. Time mattered here as it could beat your opponent.
After a lot of quick races, the sun went down, street lamps were lighting the track up, the crowd cheering loudly. We laughed a lot with Hongjoong, and he explained the rules of the races we were witnessing. I finally felt happy after a long time, I loved the atmosphere here.
That is until someone sat next to me.
"Now you’re into cars too? Tell your stepdad to send you a car, a broken one perhaps." San said, looking at me with those fucking annoying sharp eyes of his.
Every time he appears, my mood is fucked, "I will, now leave me the fuck alone."
I had said not looking at him.
San laughed, "Not until we're racing with equal chances."
"Oh, so now you admit it wasn't a fair win for you?" I looked at him with a glare.
"No, I would've won anyways. I just wanted to see how much you could push. But your bike said, nah. I bet it'll fall apart again." He said, leaning closer to me.
My blood started boiling, it was one thing if I was the one saying shit about Toothless, but him spitting out these words about my bike were not allowed. Ever. San was provoking me, and I knew it, I fucking knew it, yet…
"Come, I'll fucking beat you this time." I looked at him with blazing eyes, starring at him sharply.
He stood up smiling, "It'll be my pleasure, princess."
He put his right hand on his heart and bowed.
Oh, how I would hit him in the face, I had nightmares about that fucking confident smile.
I stood up, Hongjoong grabbed my hands to make me look at him, "It's not the best time going out there, Y/N."
He said with concern in his voice.
"I don't care, I want to wipe that confident smile off his face." I was long gone, there was no chance of anyone convincing me doing otherwise.
Hongjoong stood up, looking at me with concern, "But please be careful, call me if anything happens."
He held my hands, he really looked concerned.
"Don't worry, savior. I'll keep her safe." San glared at Hongjoong with the deadliest stare I've ever seen.
Hongjoong stepped closer to San, letting go of my hands. "If anything happens to her because you’re a fucking idiot and your ass is just itchy, you'll regret it, I promise."
Hongjoong stared back at San, and in this moment, he really looked like the Devil. I stood between them as they were eyeing each other, glaring with their noses flared.
Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what was happening right now—
"Okay, guys, stop! Let's not waste any more time and get this shit over." I looked at San, losing my patience.
He winked at me and then smiled, his dimples appearing. Did I just notice he has dimples?
He did not wear his usual black leather jacket tonight; it was a leather jacket with some red on its sleeves and on the waist with white lines. On the front there was a writing 'SUZUKI', referring to his motorbike being the same brand. I’m not going to lie; he looked hot as fuck.
We walked over to our bikes, which were parked next to each other. I sat on my bike.
"So where are we going? You know this town." I looked over to my left side to meet San's gaze.
"There's a freeway not far from here. There’ll be traffic, but it’s more exciting that way." He smirked.
I started my engine and reached my hand out, motioning to him to show me the way. We both placed our helmets on, and then it was game on from there on. There was no turning back anymore.
I followed San, turning on unknown streets, it was barely a five-minute ride. We stopped where the freeway began.
"The winner is who gets to the end of the freeway first. It's not that long." He told me through his helmet, being on my left side.
I just nodded, it was late into the evening, but the cars ahead of us were countless. It was a three-lane road, people might’ve been going home from work, because there were a lot of cars. We lined up at the side of the road, in front of the red light. San pointed at that, signaling that if it turns green, we start. I started to reeve the engine, my legs in starting position with my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, counting the cars, and analyzing how could I pass by them. Adrenaline crawled through me; my skin covered in goosebumps. I have never felt like this before, I was so hyped about winning this. I had to win this.
The red light suddenly changed to green, and I quickly lifted my foot off the ground, bending over my bike and shifting up. We slid through the cars like the river runs through the rocks. We were two quick arrows passing by the cars, wheezing from left to right. At first, we were head-to-head, but I got lucky and I could pass by a big truck very quickly. San wasn't that lucky, he stayed behind a little. We arrived to a tunnel; sudden strong light hit my eyes. Traffic was lesser here, so, San quickly caught up with me. The sound of our engines were so loud that its echo bounced of the tunnel’s walls. It was like music, the two-engine sound melting into each other. I'm not going to lie, I was enjoying it so much as I have never felt like this before, it was the definition of freedom. I quickly glanced at San and he lifted his arms, giving me a thumps up, then quickly passed by me. But I did not let that happen, I went after him. We arrived to the end of the tunnel, sudden darkness hitting me now, my eyes needed a few minutes to adopt to the dark again. As cars were in front of us, I quickly took the chance to go in between two cars, and I was leading again. Until I suddenly saw red and blue lights flashing from behind.
Shit, shit, no, not again—
It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, it was beating so fast. I can't get caught again, no way. I started to panic, and suddenly all strength escaped my body as I started to slow down. I couldn’t think straight as all thoughts left my mind seeing those colors again, getting flashbacks of that night. The lights, then being pushed straight into the cop’s hands, my friends running away, leaving me alone. San was suddenly next to me.
"Hey, Y/N, don't slow down, we need to lose them! I know a shortcut, follow me!" He yelled over the sounds of our engines and through his helmet, as I suddenly was back from the flashback as I looked behind me, seeing as the cops getting closer and closer.
I just nodded, suddenly feeling my strength coming back to me. There's no way they will catch me again. I quickly followed after San, passing by the cars, the police still following us, getting closer. San turned right onto a street, then left. We went through alleys and little streets, where only a bike would fit. I had no idea where were we, but I didn't care, because it seemed like San's plan was working and the red and blue lights were now far away from us. Suddenly, San turned left and went inside an abandoned factory's court. He quickly stopped and turned off the engine, signaling for me to do the same. I rolled next to him, and switched the key to turn off the engine. I glanced behind my back, I didn't see any signs of the police, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I took off my helmet quickly, starting to inhale and exhale quickly.
"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed, pulling it away from my face.
"Come, let's go inside, bring your bike too." San said, getting off his bike as he started pushing it towards the building.
As I got off my bike, I was shaking, the adrenaline was still in my blood. We brought our bikes inside and I needed to sit quickly. I sat down, pressing my back against my bike, lifting my knees up to my chest.
"I think they're gone." San sat down, doing the same as me.
He glanced over me, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." I said, still not looking at him.
"Are you really that scared of the cops?" I could hear it in his voice that he was smiling.
"San, this is really not the time where you can say shit like that." I glanced over at him. I guess he saw my expression, because his face changed.
"Sorry, I didn’t—" We lifted our heads up as we heard the siren sounds. The red and blue lights lit the walls of the factory, and my heart dropped to my stomach.
"Shit, shit, they are coming here." I stood up, San did too. But suddenly, I heard the sirens getting further and further away. I let out the big breath I was holding this whole time.
"They just passed by, idiots." San laughed.
I glanced over at him in disbelief, and sat down again next to my bike.
San mirrored me, "We need to wait a little, though, so they will give up searching for us."
"You were in these kinds of situations a lot, huh?" I asked San, staring ahead into the darkness.
"Kinda, that's why I knew what to do." He said sighing. Quiet fell over us as we both were thinking, probably not about the same things as he spoke up, "But I don't get it. What did you do that you got almost arrested? Did you crash your bike and kill someone?”
He looked at me frowning. I scoffed at him; I really couldn’t believe he was like this.
"You don't know anything about me, so please stop assuming things when you don't know shit." I stared at him angrily, "It's making me feel sick, San. I'm so fucking tired of your comments, what did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?"
I asked him, looking his way then at my hands, "I was just fucking racing because I love to do so. Why is that so bad? Don’t you do the same thing, San? I’ve got arrested because my friends left me there, so I was blamed for that whole mess, on my own. So, please, ask before you talk shit."
There was a minute of silence, "Fuck, I didn't know, Y/N. I don't fucking know why I'm an asshole with you. It is so easy to piss you off."
I glanced at him; he was staring ahead as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair.
"And you are enjoying this?" I scoffed at him in disbelief.
"Of course I don’t, it’s just—" He turned my way, "Lately I did it just because I wanted to race against you and I thought if I provoke you, then you'll come. I know it sounds stupid, but don't say you didn't like it."
He seemed nervous a little. Choi San being nervous, interesting.
"I did enjoy it, San. But what the hell, why couldn't you just ask me nicely if I wanted to come with you? I would've, if you weren't such an asshole.” I looked at him, “And our bickering or whatever did not start here.”
"Yeah…I know." He looked down at his hands, "When we were kids you suddenly just got cold and pushed me away like I was some garbage. I was a little kid, it hurt."
He admitted. I didn’t recognize this San, this softer, nicer, side of him was strange to me.
"I was a little kid too. Kids are mean, you just had a weak heart." I said to him, "That does not mean you have to be an asshole your whole life, because I mistreated you when we were fucking kids. This is it, San. You need to adapt to some situations; you have to let go of foolish things at times."
I looked at him seriously.
"Forgive me for being such an asshole, you did not deserve it. I just tried to blame other people for my weaknesses." He admitted, and for a second, he looked vulnerable. But it vanished away quickly.
And suddenly we started sharing about our lives, the cops long forgotten, things that we didn't know about the other. I could see the side of him, which he rarely let anyone see. He could be really goofy, we laughed together, trying to recall the ridiculous situations we were in when we were just kids.
"And just so you know, I bought my bike, not someone else. I worked for it, for years. I took shift after shift, because I wanted something. You know…it hurt when you said those things to me." I suddenly felt like I had to tell him how much he stabbed a knife into my heart that day.
"Fuck this, this whole situation is ridiculous." He scoffed, his voice getting weaker. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucking tired of adapting to what people expect of me. I did this my whole life."
I looked at him as he buried his face into his palms.
Silence fell over the chilly air as San seemed to be on edge, while he quietly sniffed. I couldn’t believe that San was crying. It came out of the blue; I did not understand the cause of it.
Suddenly, I slipped next to him. I just wanted to hug him, he looked so broken. So, I went closer to him, still sitting on the ground, and hugged him tightly as he scooted closer to me and buried his face into my neck.
"It's okay, San. Sometimes life can be too much. Just let it out." I stroked his back patiently. I felt some tears falling onto my neck.
 I couldn’t believe I was hugging Choi San right now, but I have always been like this. I don't care if he harmed me, if he needs a shoulder to cry on in his most vulnerable moment, then I’m going to be there for him because no one deserves to be alone in these moments.
"I'm so tired, I'm sick of this pain…" He mumbled into my neck, sobbing a bit, "After my mom died—"
"Your mom died?" I lifted his head from my neck, cupping his face with my hands. I looked at him with round eyes. I didn't know his mother died; I was shocked.
"Yeah, right after you moved away..." He said, looking into my eyes with his puffy ones. He seemed empty, he seemed like he wasn't feeling anything at all, "She had cancer, she…She struggled a lot…and I was alone, I needed someone to be there for me, I tried…I really tried." He said, his voice getting quieter.
I did not want to believe what I just heard, his mom was an angel, everyone liked her when she stepped on the stage alongside with the town’s major. They looked like true leaders. I always looked up to her, and now she’s gone.
"Oh my God, I didn't know, San. I'm sorry for your loss.” I blinked away my own tears as I wiped away his, “If I would've known—"
I felt a bit overwhelmed.
Suddenly his expression changed, it seemed like he had realized what he had done in the last few minutes. He locked his feelings away, again. He thought he showed too much of his weaker, softer, side and suddenly, he started closing off, just like I used to do. The old San was coming back. He pushed my hands away from his face aggressively, not looking at me.
"Whatever, I don't need your pity." He stared ahead, and leaned back against his bike, lifting his knees up to his chest.
I scoffed, "What did I do now?”
I blinked at him, not understanding the sudden mood change, “Okay, you can't be helped. I tried, I really tried to be nice with you, but you are impossible."
I stood up, "I think the cops are long gone, let's get the fuck out of here." I pushed my bike outside not waiting for San. I sat on my bike, starting the engine. San arrived next to me, with his bike.
"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looked at me with sincerity, but I did not fall for it.
"Yeah, me too, have a good night." I said with a disappointed look and I put my helmet on to drive away quickly. I just needed to get as far away as possible from him.
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  Weeks passed since that night. I tried to avoid San as much as I could. I just couldn't face him; I was so tired of his games. There were a few occasions when he tried to talk to me, but I just ignored him. It's not that I don't understand him, I do, I know what he's been through…at least I can imagine. That night, I tried to see his good side, but he did not let me in. And it hurt, because I knew he needed someone, and I would've been by his side. But he suddenly decided to push me away. He closed himself off, stayed in the dark, not allowing me to light his path for a way out. I really felt hopeful for a second that he could change, that he would lower his walls and let me in. But no, he'll just never change, so I gave up on hoping. At least I thought so, but these past days I just couldn't get him out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw him as he smiled at me in for that few minutes when we were freely talking about ourselves. I'm not going to lie, I liked that side of San, it was so pure. And I would've never thought I was going to say such things about Choi San. But he made me feel strange things.
It was late into the night when I was still in the car service. A car needed to be fixed by tomorrow and I told my dad he could rest, he has worked all day long and I could see he was really tired, so I wanted to fix this car by tomorrow. The weather seemed like it would rain soon, lighting striking every few minutes.
Suddenly, I heard an engine sound from outside. I frowned, who it is this late? I opened up the garage door and I found myself facing a soaked San, getting off his Suzuki, staring at me the whole time. His clothes were starting to soak through, the raindrops falling off from his leather jacket. It had started pouring badly; I haven’t even realized it. My heart was beating fast. He took off his helmet, his hair immediately getting wet. San ran his fingers through his hair.
"What are you doing here?" I asked him without any emotion.
"I just want to talk to you, Y/N. Please, let me take you to a place." He looked at me with pleading eyes.
"In this weather, San, seriously?" I pointed out, still standing under the garage, safe from the pouring rain.
"It'll stop in a few minutes." He said his, black clothes soaked now, waterdrops falling off his face. 
"How do you know? Are you a weather expert now too?" I asked frowning. I was just as hostile as he once was towards me.
He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair again. "I deserved that. Just like the pool."
He looked at me again. I could see a lot of regret in his eyes.
"That night, I closed myself off because your face reminded me of all the people who pitied me back then, when she died. I was only 11 years old, and I got sick of seeing those faces, it always reminded me of her death."
He started to tear up, his voice getting weak again, "Please, Y/N, forgive me. I know I fucked up everything, I just—you—you drive me crazy and I can't behave around you. I feel like when I'm near you I’ll lose my mind, like I’m not myself anymore. I said a lot of shitty things to you, and I judged you a lot even though I didn't know anything about you. I want to change that, I want to know you better, Y/N. I want to let you in, I'll do that if you also want it, but I hope you won't be scared of what you'll see."
I saw as teardrops fell down on his face, but the rain immediately washed it away, his voice cracking from the flow of emotions.
My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I didn't except him to say things like these to me, "I'm not scared, San, to see your dark side. I never was, and I never will be."
Tears started to appear in my eyes, to my surprise, "You said some hurtful things to me, but I get it, I really do. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I was just so shocked, I didn't know…I didn't know, San."
I started to sob, tears falling from my face.
"I know, I know, baby." He stepped closer to me as he reached out for my hands pulling me out into the rain, into his chest. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back up and down, my clothes and my hair soaked. I should’ve been the one comforting him, but in the end, I was the one sobbing like a little girl into his chest.
We stood in the heavy rain; our clothes wet, my hair sticking to my forehead yet he still hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. Caressing my back, he kissed the top of my head. I tried to inhale and exhale, so I could finally speak.
"I forgive you, and also I'm sorry." I whispered to him, lifting my head up from his chest.
He didn't let me go, his left hand was on my waist and he reached his right hand up to my cheeks to wipe off my tears, but they were wet again with tears and raindrops. "It's okay, don't cry, please, because then I'll cry too."
He smiled at me with the sincerity I've never seen before. His eyes were saying so much, it hurt. He finally let me in, allowed me to see his real self.
I laughed at that, and he followed suit, laughing together at this predicament, "Look at us, soaked like wet rats."
He smiled at me, never taking his sharp eyes off me.
Then suddenly his expression became serious, he stared at me as if I was his treasure, wanting to bury me, so no one could take me away, "I want to know you better, I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you don't, what is your favorite color, what do you like to eat, what you did while you were gone from here, what does it feel like to ride your bike…I want to know you, and never let you go."
He said, his hand still on my cheek, accompanied by his other one.
I smiled at him. I felt so happy at that exact moment, I didn't care if I was soaked, I only saw him, "Me too."
I said quietly.
He leaned closer to me, his lips almost touching mine, "Can I kiss you?"
He whispered against my lips sweetly.
Chills ran through my body. I never wanted anything more than him kissing me. I just nodded; words long forgotten. He closed the distance between us, and when our lips finally met, there was a loud thunder rumbling the world, lighting flashing around us and rain pouring from above, washing away our past where we said a lot of stupid things to each other. We could start with a clear page, melting our futures together. Our lips never stopped moving, it felt like heaven and hell met with each other as our lips moved against the other’s, just like when we were racing, both of us tried to win the other over. I welcomed San's darkness wholeheartedly and tried to scare it away with my light.
Then suddenly the rain stopped, and we separated from each other, looking up at the sky. The clouds were gone and the full moon was shining so brightly it looked like it was almost daylight.
I chuckled looking up, "You should apply to be a weatherman."
San was gazing at me so lovingly I felt like I was going to melt right there, "See? Now you can come with me, I want to show you something."
He held my hands.
"Okay, I should bring my bike then." I smiled at him, feeling as happiness crawled into my chest.
"It would be more proper if I was the one taking you there, but I want to race you." He held my waist and pecked my lips a few times. I still needed to get used to this San. I really liked it.
"I'm going to beat you." I scrunched my nose cutely.
"Okay, princess, but first, go change. I don't want you to catch a cold." He caressed my cheekbones.
"I'll bring you some clothes of dad’s, you'll catch a cold too otherwise." I kissed him quickly and then went inside the house, smiling like a fool, to grab some dry clothes.
  It was the middle of the night, but two engine sounds cut through the late-night life. We were going up on winding roads, forests covering both sides of the road. I was laughing beneath my helmet as San goofed around, slowing down and then speeding again. I think I have never felt more happier than right now. It was pure freedom going through these curvy roads, racing against each other. But in the end, it was just the two of us sharing our passion, riding our motorbikes, the moon shining upon us brightly, guiding our roads, showing our future ahead of us.
I finally knew I belonged somewhere, to someone. It was my hometown, and Choi San.
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velvetvexations · 2 months ago
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incredible, i just saw a reblog of that "transfem headcanons are always better and sometimes transmasc headcanons actively make the text worse and more hateful" by someone i followed. funny to see discussions arguing against the post before seeing the post itself, otherwise i would have unthinkingly internalized it and felt like shit without knowing why. anyway, i unfollowed that person now. to make it worse, op tore into someone for claiming that chihiro from danganronpa is an exception and better read as transmasc... the irony is insane. yet another example besides miquella that would make the story more boring and maybe worse if transfem.
it's so disgustingly petty lmao
a lot of transfem headcanons are reaches, often "this is literally a man magically trapped in the body of a woman and he hates it and desperately keeps trying to go back to being a man" and it's FINE to headcanon characters however you want but since some people can't conceptualize being a woman as anything other than something they wish would happen to them they take characters like that and hiss if you go near them
i get the sense that there's a very specific, narrow demographic of transfems who used to buy into that reddit guy "being a hot 22-year-old girl must be like having 10 billion dollars" attitude and never really let it go. thus the fixation on "AFAB privilege". isee a similar mix of resentment and attraction from lesbian TERFs, though it comes from a different origin. and it's an attitude that can slide easily into TERFism even for cis men--just look at tatsuya ishida!
If anything the idealization of femininity a small minority of transfems exhibit when they complain endlessly about how good trans people AFAB have it would come more from dysphoria and the grass being greener on the other side. "An AFAB trans person will immediately revert to being an innocent little girl to hurl sexual assault accusations at trans women," however, is really concerning!
Regarding whether "binary privilege" exists, i am once again on my hands and knees begging people to actually look at the statistics. The US Transgender Survey and Cohnting Ourselves (from Aotearoa) are right there. And they both show that all trans people are about as badly off as each other regardless of their specific gender. Yes, there are some ways in which being nonbinary is particularly hard, such as not having a social role to fit into, I'm not denying any of that, but if you're going to call being binary a "privilege" then there needs to be a visible whole-group effect for binary people compared to nonbinary people. And there isn't one when you look at the numbers.
It's not really about non-binary people having it flat worse, more just situational complexities.
The thing about even discussing privilege (binary privilege in this case) is that so many people talk as if to have privilege means to inherently have privilege Over someone else. Like is it an advantage for me to be vaguely binary alligned enough sometimes to have a legal gender marker that is moderately less dysphoria inducing when some people are equally harmed by either? (Tbf I live in a state where x is an option, I simply do not feel safe with that 😵‍💫 (tho that does not help when nothing else other than state id accepts it)) like yeah it's a privilege but it's not privilege Over someone. It does not make me an oppressor or mean I am causing harm, which is a thing many people seem to believe, about various forms of privilege
That's a very good point, anon.
I suppose this isn’t how others I’ve seen think about it but. I’ve always just understood that you can be oppressed for being trans without your gender being affirmed. Like. The bigots understand you’re trans but that doesn’t make them think of you as your gender it makes them think of you as trans. Misgendering is such a huge part of what transphobes do and I’ve never once assumed they were like. Lying about seeing trans people that way. I don’t get acting like transphobes can see our, as you put it, soul gender.
It makes people feel better.
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shmaptainwrites · 1 year ago
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wait i lied do childhood besties to enemies to lovers PLS
betsie ngl it took me a minute to figure out a good plot for this concept that i could do justice with the length i'm going for so now that i have something i really hope you like it! also atp it isn’t a mini blurb it’s a full on ficlet cause i just kept writing LMAO
Pairings: Fitzwilliam Darcy x GN!Reader
Warnings: Wickham mention (yes that's a valid warning bc he sucks), minor height descriptions (again i'm sorry)
Lost Years
Your least favourite time of year was always the time you visited Pemberley with your siblings. It had been that way for a while now, you probably could have pinpointed the date if you tried hard enough.
But just as every year before it was unavoidable.
It used to be an occasion of good fun. Two of your closest friends lived on the estate and you would savour every chance you got to spend with them both, but as you grew older and responsibilities set in, so did the disputes. Your close friendship had become fragmented along with your heart.
The first few days you tried to make sure you were always with at least one of your siblings, or maybe even Miss Georgiana Darcy which would create a buffer for the tension between you and her older brother.
As the estate was so large, it was always possible that by mere coincidence, one may end up in a room alone with another individual.
That quickly became the case for you, as you walked in the library, perusing the selection of books curated by the late Mr. Darcy and his son.
You went to reach for a book on a shelf you could not reach and before you could even thinking of a further attempt to grab it, someone reached from behind you and brought the book.
When you turned around and saw it was the younger Mr. Darcy you couldn't help the sharp remark that slipped past your lips.
"I could have gotten it myself. There was no need for that."
"And I suppose you would have climbed the shelves to accomplish that," he snapped right back.
"I find myself in a different mood than before. You may keep the book, Mr. Darcy," you said curtly and began to walk away.
"Am I to assume that nothing that comes from my hand will be accepted?" he asked.
You turned around.
"Miss, I have delt with your contempt of me in as amiable of a manner as I thought I was capable, but this has crossed a boundary."
"I have crossed a boundary?" you blinked, pointing to yourself. "I believe maybe you should have thought of that when you refused to give Wickham his portion entitled to him of your father's estate!"
Mr. Darcy stared at you blankly for a moment before his expression hardened.
"If Wickham is where your loyalties lie then perhaps contempt on both sides is justified."
"I disagree," you shook your head. "When he told me I could not believe what I was hearing. That you of all people could be so cold and unloving towards a friend. If you could do something like that to Wickham what was stopping you from doing it to me?"
"And what exactly did he tell you?" Mr. Darcy asked and you didn't hesitate to recount Wickham's version of the events.
You could see what almost looked like shock on Mr. Darcy's face as he saw in what light he was being painted, but he allowed you to finish before saying anything.
"I don't suppose you have anything to say for youself," you crossed your arms over your chest.
"That isn't what happened," he said simply.
"T-That isn't what happened? Really Mr. Darcy is that all you can-,"
"I swear it to you," he said. "Ask Mr. Bingley, if you must, but that is not what happened after my father's death."
You loosened your stance, letting your arms fall to your side.
"If not, then what did happen?"
Mr. Darcy took a breath before beginning to explain to you the events following his father's death. He was able to say in great detail what had occured, lining up his story with the timeline of events that had occured in his own life and Wickham's. Even things you had witnessed to your friend's character. Suddenly everything came crashing back down to reality.
When he finished speaking you had to excuse yourself in order to sit down on one of the couches behind you.
"Years," you whispered. "I went on for years believing this."
"You were listening to a friend you thought you could trust," Mr. Darcy even went as far as defending your actions towards him, when all this time he had been innocent of what he was accused. "I understand that this is a lot of information to take in, but may I ask you something?"
"Yes, I suppose," you nodded your head.
"Why didn't you ever ask me about this?"
Of everything he could have asked you, it had to be that. You closed your eyes and swallowed thickly.
"Mr. Darcy I-I'm not sure it would be appropriate to say."
"I have delt with many things much more difficult than this," he assured you. "Please...answer the question."
You chuckled softly to youself,
"We were young, Fitz," you looked over to him and you could see his face soften at the childhood nickname you called him. It was so easy how one word could transport you back in time, maybe a time where things were simpler. "I-," you shook your head and held it in your hands, massaging your temples. The words had become caught in your throat. "I-I-I loved you and if I spoke to you and it was true? It was easier to believe him and spare myself the hurt of hearing it from you directly."
You couldn't sit next to him, quickly standing and moving towards a window instead.
"The thought of finding out someone for which you feel so deeply, might be capable to do something of such an unkindly nature was too much for me to bear I-I'm so sorry."
"You loved me," he whispered softly. "Past tense."
"If I didn't love you, would I care this much about your treatment of Wickham?" you looked back at him, tears glistening in your eyes.
Mr. Darcy stood from his seat and slowly made his way towards you, gingerly reaching for your hand before finally clasping it in his own and bringing it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss to its back.
"I have lost money; I have lost trust; I have lost many things because of Wickham," he murmured, your hand still close enough to his lips your could feel them move as he spoke. He lifted his other hand to gently caress your cheek. "But I will never forgive him for making me lose the years I could have spent with you."
"Fitz, I'm so sorry," you apologized as the tears finally spilled from your eyes, "I'm sorry."
You repeated your apologies many times, but they became muffled as he pulled you into him for a tight embrace.
You wrapped your hands tightly around his neck and buried your nose in his shoulder.
When your apologies quieted, he gently moved away, just barely half an arm's length.
"There is no need to apologize, my dear," his countenance calm, at peace. "We will simply have to make up for lost time."
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@iceman-kazansky
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spadeprincesss · 2 months ago
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How would the couples (each of them) react to their partners getting kidnapped, and what would happen to the said kidnapper(s)? (I say death)
this is such a good question that will definitely inspire thoughts! warning this is gonna get LONG because i love over explaining things and scenarios so full answer by ship under the cut!
1. Zelda if Green got kidnapped:
Zelda would honestly be the one with her head most on her shoulders if Green were to get kidnapped, because she’s the Queen and she can’t be seen panicking even though she’d be worried sick for him. Considering Green is the future King Consort him being kidnapped would be a pretty big deal and would warrant investigation (and a declaration if war if done by another country). However behind closed doors she’d be losing sleep, crying and praying to the Goddesses that Green is alright, while in the day she works restlessly, wishing she could go out there and look for him herself.
2. Green if Zelda was kidnapped:
Green would be beside himself with worry if Zelda got kidnapped, and of course given Zelda is The Queen the rest of the kingdom would fret with him. If they’re already engaged or married that would leave Green completely in charge of the kingdom, and although he’d take the responsibility in stride it would worry him beyond belief that he can’t go out to rescue her himself like he did once before. It would be extremely hard to get him to rest during this time, and just like with Green depending on who kidnaps her the implications would be just as bad or worse.
3. Red if Blue got kidnapped:
Red wouldn’t be able to believe the news once he receives it, unable to picture Blue in any sort of hostage situation. He’d cry and worry constantly if Blue is doing anything stupid, because he knows his lover isn’t patient and isn’t one to simply follow orders if he doesn’t respect the person, and acting like that while hostage is a quick way to get yourself killed! Red would NOT take no for an answer to joining the search party, and as passive a person as he is he won’t hesitate to go in rods blazing if Blue is in danger!
4. Blue if Red gets kidnapped:
Dealing with a worried Blue is torture to everyone around him, because although he’s worked on his anger management throughout the years he can still explode if dealing with a lot of emotions. And Red being kidnapped… would worry him more than anything. He’d be sending search parties left and right, bordering on overworking his knights, and definitely overworking himself. It would take everyone else sitting him down to get him to slow down, and Blue would break, saying he never wants Red to get hurt, he can’t lose him!
5. Vio if Shadow gets kidnapped:
Shadow being kidnapped would require some special circumstances given his powers, not many people would try to kidnap what is basically an immortal monster. I can picture it being a case that Vaati or Ganon or another big baddie is revived and they use their power to force Shadow under their control. That would piss Vio off, because all Shadow was ever wanted was autonomy, to ve his own person, yet left and right someone who thinks themself so high and mighty wants to use him as a puppet. Vio would be drawing up strategies and theories on how to both defeat whoever took Shadow and to rescue Shadow himself. He would not rest, not while Shadow is captive, it would take many interventions for him to slow down, because “Shadow wouldn’t want you to tear yourself apart like this”.
6. Shadow if Vio got kidnapped:
So Vio being kidnapped is honestly the one that is statistically most likely to happen in the context of my AU given he’s a scout and often goes into enemy territory lmao. What this means however is that if dealing with a worried Blue is bad then dealing with a worried Shadow is worse, because Shadow has powers, his form can shift, if out of control he can cause some real damage and the only way to really stop him physically is to hurt him which no one wants to do. He’d demand to be set free to tear apart whoever took Vio, but its not so simple, thankfully Zelda would hold his hands and let him cry on her shoulder, promising they will all do everything they can to bring Vio home.
As for what happens to the kidnapper that is very situational for most everyone, though Blue, Vio and Shadow would want to kill whoever is responsible. If it’s done by a small individual party Zelda and Green would be forced to give the guilty party a fair trial, if it’s another kingdom altogether well… war basically! Red would want to bring them to justice too, he doesn’t believe in unnecessary violence, but he won’t be nice about it either!
Sorry for the long reply, but i hope you enjoy!
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celestiaras · 8 months ago
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‧₊˚✧ ❛[ teacher's pet ]❜
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━━━ .°˖✧ requested by anonymous ˚₊ ⊹
ft. oliver evans x f! reader — nijisanji jp
╰₊✧ your professor doesn’t like how close you’re getting to that playboy & calls you after class to discuss it┊2.3k words
contains: smut!! dom oliver & sub reader┊teacher/student relationship, age gap (unspecified but reader is early 20s & oliver is late 20s), established relationship (friends with benefits), jealousy, brat-taming (the good girl persona isn’t real), office sex & risk of getting caught, mentioned height difference, receiving oral, ooc probably (he’s bad with feelings), unrequited feelings & angsty rushed ending lmao
➤ author's note: i said “end of the week as in tomorrow”, but i was feeling generous!! i originally made prof and the reader have no relations other than teacher & student, but i struggled to create a dialogue so i made them friends with benefits and it got a lot easier! i did not plan to give it an angsty ending or to attach so much emotion to it, but it felt so right in the moment and i’m not taking it back 
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you’re a good student, you know that right? you show up to every lecture without fail regardless of the weather and always take notes while asking questions along the way, which may seem annoying to some when in the later years of university, but you always help out others who missed class or don’t understand the material. you have a bright future ahead of you with how intelligent you are and how you’re so knowledgeable about the lessons of every class you’re in, he’s positive that he’ll see you on the news for making a historical breakthrough in whatever you’re studying and becoming one of the country’s richest women.
he doesn’t need to tell you this because he knows that you’re already aware of it, so why are you risking it all to hang out with some playboy who isn’t interested in anything more than a fun time and your body? as a professor, he’s seen and heard all that’s happened: how he asked you to help him cram for an exam, how a little friendship started blooming between the two of you, how you began to get more flustered when he got close to you, and most importantly, how he’s treated every other girl like that before breaking their hearts once he got what he wanted. you were so smart academically, but it seemed like you were too naive in matters of the heart.
normally, these aren’t issues that would bother him since he’s seen it repeated time and time again. although, he isn’t lying when he thinks your case is more important to him since he doesn’t want to see his best student fail due to a broken heart. he knows that your personal life is none of his business, but he’d be damned if he didn’t at least try to intervene. as your professor, it’s part of his job to make sure that his students are all going down the right path and to prevent them from being led astray!
this is far from the first time he’s called you to see him in his office after class, going over the essays that you asked him to review before grading or simply asking you about your plans for after college, but it is the first time he’s asked to see you out of worry. it’s actually been a while since he’s seen you one-on-one like this, the last time being three weeks ago. he balled his fit up tightly when he saw that boy loitering by his doorway after escorting you as you convinced him that he didn’t need to wait around for you and would be at the planned arrangement when the time came. he didn’t feel disappointed like he thought he would, feeling rather dejected and inexplicitly angry for reasons he couldn’t place.
“i noticed that your grades have been slipping,” oliver started as you took a seat, watching you tense up as soon as the words left his mouth. you probably realized too late that this conversation was going to happen before you could make any real change to avoid it, just living in dread for the past week or so. “do you mind me asking if there’s something that brought about this change?” you anxiously fiddled with the hem of your dress and he sighed, not wanting to scare you off, “and please, be honest so that i can help you in any way that i can.”
“i-i’ve just been… distracted… it’s nothing that you need to be worried about…”
well, that was pretty obvious, he didn’t exactly expect you to admit the truth right away. he wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to go about this in a professional manner, but still plowed ahead to skip any unnecessary awkwardness and asked you to specify what the distraction was. he wasn’t even sure what the point of asking was since no student would ever spill their dating life to an authority figure even if they were asked (especially if they were asked), so he decided to just rip off the bandage. “listen, i know that it’s normal for students your age to be experimenting romantically with others, but you shouldn't be letting it distract you from your studies!”
you bit your bottom lip and felt your face getting hot, burning with embarrassment that spread from your nose to the tips of your ears. “my grades aren’t that bad!” you defended, “i’m still passing and turning in everything on time!”
“barely passing while turning in assignments a minute or two before the deadline,” he corrected, making you flinch. “i hate looking at everything academic going downhill for you— over some guy who peaked in high school and won’t be able to amount to half of what you are now too.”
you bit the inside of your cheek seeing your prim and proper professor suddenly being unprofessional by speaking poorly about one of his pupils even if it was the truth. he was only human after all, he didn’t have to like every single person who walked through the doors. besides, it’s not as astonishing as it may seem for him to let his guard down and show his true colors around you, and seeing as he was being transparent with you, there was no reason why you couldn’t do the same. “aww, what’s the problem? are you jealous?” you scoffed as you got up to pace around his room and meddle with some of his things like you owned the damn place, “now you know how i feel whenever you got all of those other girls trying to bend over your desk asking you to give them extra credit.”
all he could do was glare with annoyance in his eyes, wondering about just how these predicaments come about. it’s true that this is far from the first time he’s called you to see him after class, but it’s never been for any of the reasons he’d listed before. you never needed his help for anything in the first place— or at least you never needed his help for anything academic. most people don’t see anything special about your dearest professor aside from his handsome face and strait-laced attitude, but you’ve always seen more to him (and have seen more of him). with the current state of things, things were too easy and handed to you on a silver platter, so why not pass some time by having an illicit affair that allowed you to have some control over an attractive authoritative figure? it isn’t partying or doing drugs, but it gives you all the rush and fun you need by having him help you out with your needs.
it didn’t take too much time for oliver to figure out that you weren’t really the goody-two-shoes teacher’s pet you had everyone believe you were. he doesn’t have the foggiest idea why you act that way, but you certainly play the part well as he was none the wiser until you seduced him. he’s the teacher with higher standing and a name, yet instead of being the one with power in the relationship, you were the one with all the chips on your side. you love this little game that’s been arranged, one where you know exactly what he’ll do in response to any of your actions: calling you to his office after class to take out his frustrations on you. this was by far the first time that he’d called you over because of jealousy, and it certainly won’t be the last time.
“how about you give me some extra credit, professor?” you mocked, pouting your lips and batting your eyelashes as you pushed some of his belongings aside so that you could sit on one of the shorter sides of his desk. “since my grades are so low? pretty please?”
he has half a mind to ignore your flirty little comments and chew you out for purposely pissing him off just because you felt like he wasn’t giving you enough attention, but god, you’re such a vixen. it never mattered if you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants or a crop top and short skirts, you somehow managed to be so enticing in all forms and lure him towards you like a moth to a flame. it might be your eyes, possessing a distinct mischievous sparkle that knew he didn’t have it in him to deny you.
when he grabs you by your collar and crashes his lips onto yours, you find it almost funny how weak he is to your charms and his envious nature. he always tells himself that it will be the last time he’ll be hooking up with you and will stop this inappropriate behavior that could ruin his life if discovered, but every time you’re presented to him, he finds his lust and true emotions spiraling into this very position at the end of it all. he wasn’t sure why he was constantly lying to himself about this issue all the time when it was plainly clear whether or not he is willing to admit it. while it’s only a fling for you, it might be something more to him despite the fact that it was so wrong for him to be with you. 
it’s too late to listen to reason or the little voice at the back of his head when you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kiss, requiring you to crane your neck upwards and also pull him towards by forcing him to lean down to your level due to his height. both of you were out of breath from the intense make-out session when he finally parted from your mouth, not saying a word or even bothering to look into each other’s eyes. it wasn’t needed when he already decided his next course of action and stood back up only to get on his knees, making quick work of pulling off your pants and underwear with a single swift movement.
you shivered at the sensation of cold air quickly being replaced by his hot breath ghosting over your cunt, barely making out a murmur about how none of the college boys you messed around with would ever do something like this. he was right, none of them ever did, and if they have, it was never half as good as how he made you feel with his experience and knowledgeable motions. hooking your legs over his shoulders with his head wedged in between to keep them separated, keeping his half-lidded eyes filled with lust on your face to watch the arrogant persona melt away into pure pleasure. 
there’s nothing that gives him greater satisfaction than watching you becoming undone while he licks long stripes along your sex before wrapping his lips around your delicate pearl and roughly sucking just to hear you squeal. now that he thinks about it, he isn’t sure if you locked the door behind you or if the possibility of someone walking in was very real. he would scare you about it, but you wouldn’t care if you were caught getting tongue-fucked by an instructor— you would probably flaunt the fact, especially if it were one of your flings or a girl who liked to flirt with him. (realistically, no one would enter before knocking and hearing his approval. besides, the place is relatively sound-proof and empty at this time.)
you tangled your finger in his brown locks and grasped onto them, not hard enough to revert his attention but just enough for you to find solace in a wave of euphoria. god, it feels like it’s been forever since you felt this sensation despite being a mere month, humming in delight every time his tongue toyed with your clit and hastily thrust into your entrance that was barely clenching around anything. your breath hitched as you threw your head back, voice caught in your throat and unable to let out anything but pathetic little whimpers instead of shameless moans.
his large hands gripped onto your thighs to hold you still, preventing you from rolling your hips or trying to grind on his face. not that he would mind you being more needy, but he wanted to keep complete control of the situation as he worked his mouth like magic until you cried out with your intense orgasm washing over you. your legs framing his head constricted for a moment, locking him in place before completely slacking from exhaustion. you usually would still have energy for another round or two after a few minutes of rest, but it’s been long enough without that you just slumped on the spot after letting go of him and placing them behind you on the wooden desk for support. 
you looked at him in a daze, still with a little devilish grin despite it all, watching him finally stand up and eyeing the sizable tent remaining in his pants, “do you need any help?” there wasn’t an ounce of care in your voice, not that there ever was when you were talking to him.
“no, i’ll handle it myself,” he stated simply. 
you tilted your head at him for a second before simply shrugging, “okay then, don’t say i didn’t ask!” there wasn’t an ounce of genuine care in your cheery voice.
“you can stay in here for now, just turn off the lights and keep quiet in case someone shows up.”
“aww, leaving already?” 
he remained quiet as you chuckled, putting his olive green coat on before departing to the bathroom to take care of himself. at least that was the original plan, any contentment he had during the whole ordeal quickly disappeared once it was all over, leaving nothing but a heavy weight on his chest that overpowered any feeling of horniness that was there. maybe he would just head home for today, rethinking what on earth he was doing. wishing for a student who didn’t see him as anything more than someone to pass the time with, he knows that he’s a deeply pathetic man regardless of how esteemed he is in the eyes of everyone else.
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request [ thinking about prof evans railing us cause we've been too close with another student ]
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writin-with-the-blues · 10 months ago
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can you please write more of the blu medic x red mercs but the rest of red team finds out?? Like the red merc walks into base and the rest of the team is like "um hey what the HELL you have a crush on a BLU!?!?!?" (If you can't do this scenario for all the mercs can you do it for pyro, engineer, and scout please) thank you!!! Sorry If this request is alot.
Oh absolutely I can do this! Sorry if updates have been slow, finals has been killing me and this seemed the easiest to post. (I feel like I am always writing Pyro wrong LMAO).
OG Post Here
Right person, Wrong side
Pyro, Engineer, and Scout x Male!Blue Medic! Reader (Romantic)
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Pyro:
They are probably the most interesting when it comes to you.
They tried to talk about you to the rest of the Mercenaries actually. However, since most of them can’t here them, they brush it off as utter nonsense. Except for one particular person.
Miss Pauling.
It was over a phone call, since pyro was in their room, they didn’t feel the need to put on a mask. It had to do with a contract killing you in particular and they rejected it. Miss Pauling inquired further about it, she was simply told, “Oh they didn’t tell you? I love him.”
“You can fall in love?”
Okay, ow, that hurt. But that one conversation with Miss Pauling somehow got spread around the entirety of Red Team. Though, it isn’t really a case of, ‘They are in love with blue team’ but a case of, ‘They can love?!’
Overall, it went alright. Though it did show how people felt about their cognitive abilities.
Engineer:
Ah yes, Dell, the man with more PHD’s than fingers of the Mercs have after a fight. He got caught because of an invention.
I am a firm believer that Dell’s love languages are Gift Giving and Acts of Service. He adores the moments when you just look so happy and excited, so keeping the stressful moments to a minimum with his inventions or hell just giving you a cup of coffee is something he thinks about a little too much.
So when he finds out that your medigun isn’t working as well as it should be, he immediately gets to solutions for you. It wasn’t like you asked though, since you didn’t even know something was wrong with your medigun in the first place but the nozzle doesn’t have the same range as it used to.
Though, his teams medic assumed it was for him until the very quick realization that it did absolutely nothing for his medigun. Which immediately was brought with accusations of being a spy and betraying the team.
To tell you it was ugly would be an understatement. To the point where his only defense is that he loved you. So he just simply said that. Did it resolve his issues with spy accusations? Yes. But it created a whole new problem.
Now there’s a bit of pressure from the rest of the team to just, ‘Snap out of it’ but he doesn’t. As much as he lies through his teeth, and as much as he tries to ignore it, he can’t. I mean, he’s a full grown man dammit, who cares?
Scout:
If you were to ask me how he even gotten himself in this situation, I’d say the many doodles he has of you.
He has a somewhat (very) crass way of expressing his feelings when using his sketchbook. Everything he feels about you just drawn out, kissing, hugging, other things a 20 year old with art abilities draws.
The first person to find these sketches of you is Spy. His first thoughts follow the beat of, ‘This is really good anatomy.’ To ‘Is that the enemy medic?’
Spy tried to use it as leverage against Scout. Once Scout realized what had happened, he almost immediately decided to tell every red merc on his own terms.
It’s the most Jeremy thing he could do, but I genuinely believe he’d do it. Though it goes as well as you expect it to. Which is not great.
To sum it up, there were so many argument over it. Whether it is justified or not, but most were in agreement that they knew they can’t change his feelings about you.
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Masterlist
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darklinaforever · 7 months ago
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Girl, you are so insanely misogynistic, when a woman is married to a violent and abusive man, she’s completely allowed and justified in cheating on him.
You can support creeps, stalkers, rapists and pedos but draw the line at cheating, lmao.
Literally, Daemon in F&B never abused Rhaenyra emotionally and physically.
The choking scene in 1x10 is completely OCC.
But you buy it anyway because it justifies your hatred of Daemon. Once again, you'll buy whatever hatred against Daemon the show gives and you'll be happy.
Then, like I said not only is the 1x10 scene is OCC but it also demonstrates the terrifying habit of the screenwriters to amplify the violence suffered by women in the GRRM universe without any good script-valid reason, in addition to adding scenes of various abuse and variety non-existent in the basic source material, all for pure shock value on the viewer.
This aspect is criticized as much as the fact that Daemon having strangled Rhaenyra makes no sense with the first 8 episodes of HOTD in relation to the Daemyra relationship, in addition to the fact that it never existed in Fire and Blood, so the source material from which this show is taken.
We are filled with the fact that Daemon strangling Rhaenyra makes no sense with his character and the Daemyra relationship, therefore being OCC in HOTD, and not being present in the source material either. So a pure free invention for the shock of the screenwriters who adds non-existent violence compared to the source material and consequently the empires to stimulate the shock of the viewer.
At no time do we justify Daemon's behavior. On the contrary. But you are unable to understand that.
How the hell does pointing out these crucial things make me a misogynist ? On the contrary, it is HOTD's treatment of female characters that is misogynistic.
I didn't know that it was feminist to add gratuitous violence towards female characters, so you teach me something...
Then, if we are all so against Rhaenyra cheating on Daemon, it has nothing to do with the fact that she is a woman, but simply because once again it does not exist in the source material. And no, Daemon cheating on Rhaenyra in F&B has never been proven and we are just as against Daemon cheating on Rhaenyra.
The strangling scene Daemyra, and the kiss scene between Rhaenyra & Mysaria are just as OCC as each other. We criticize both. Neither should have happened. It's not complicated to understand.
On the other hand, when did I support stalkers, worse rapists ?! (While I literally made a recent post again to take down characters who commit rape...) You have so little argument that you have to lie to be able to send me a request ? You're pitiful. The same thing about pedophiles. When did I support up with pedophiles ? Unless you're trying to say that Daemon is a pedophile and... you're still wrong.
Oops.
Oh and if it's because of my ships such as Sessrin, Sareth or Sebaciel, my god, I have already explained from what angle I ship Sebaciel and that this relationship or Sareth and Sessrin does not were not pedophile ships :
Oh and in case someone tells me the stupidity about Daemon being a groomer again :
Have a good day, you who complete yourself in your stupidity and your wickedness.
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crusherthedoctor · 2 months ago
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As an IDW fan believe it or not, I do know how you feel, because I sometimes can’t even post funny quirky memes about my favorite idw characters without being told I’m a fake Sonic fan, there is nothing wrong with liking anything from Sonic that isn’t necessarily faithful to the games! If your friends are giving you a hard time for liking a movie they are not your friends! I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Don't take this the wrong way, but I never thought the day would come where an IDW fan approached me with more consideration and basic decency than game fans. :P First time for everything, I guess.
For what it's worth, whenever someone's followed me and they have an IDW character as their avatar, I always feel bad because "yeah, you're probably not going to be following me for long lmao". Despite my endless layers of beef with the comic - which I should note is doubled by the fact that much like Prime, IDW is bizarrely treated as though it's canon to the game universe despite not actually being the case, which is very much not the situation with the movies and their fans, so that's an additional reason for why the changes in the movies bother me less by comparison - I don't go out of my way to take a piss on the fans who simply like it in their own space. It's always been the Flynn cultists (I don't use that word loosely: I held off on it for a long time because I didn't want to sound like a drama clickbait YouTuber, but with all their growing hijinks, I really struggle to think of a more accurate term for them now) that I have an legitimate issue with.
I already believed that the Sonic fandom (and Tumblr in general TBH) had a bad habit of jumping from one extreme to the other, never learning any valuable lessons all the while. Needless to say, this hasn't done much to dissuade that belief. It's actually one of the reasons why I had my 10 minute retirement period not so long ago: I didn't like how the fandom was shaping me, and I didn't like the way it was changing us. It's not a coincidence that during all this time, I've refused to advocate for intense gatekeeping, because while fandom tourists can certainly create undesirable and persistent complications, just look at Ian Flynn and the Encyclospeedia, that so-called solution is just way too disproportionate and overreaching for my personal comfort. I'm not going to say that I handle fandom affairs perfectly, I know I've made a mistake on occasion, but... I feel like nowadays, I'm being backed into a corner a lot more frequently between both sides of the equation. I don't know what I'm expected to do. I can be respectful, I can be sympathetic, but the one thing I can't do is mindlessly change how I feel about something artificially just so my stance is convenient enough for approval. And when you're always being talked down to like an idiot, no matter how many times you explain yourself, no matter how much leeway you give to them... well, maybe people were onto something about the hivemind accusations...
The worst part in the movie's case is that I knew going in that it was going to be a lose-lose scenario. Either I didn't like it, and thus I wouldn't be able to join in on other people's enjoyment, or I did like it, and thus I would become an enemy on sight for SA2 diehards, regardless of any nuance to my thoughts on it. I knew not everyone would like it, which is fine, but it seems the other way around is non-existent.
I don't know where I'm going with all of this, but tl;dr, I appreciate your understanding. :) I stand by my thoughts on influential adaptations that grind my gears, but outside of the aforementioned cultists and the obnoxious influence and behaviour of the Archie leftovers themselves (shout out to the Shadow scat edit), I'm trying to relax more otherwise, and I've been wondering if more folk could benefit from the same. If the guy who has to keep seeing headache-inducing Eggdad fanart everywhere can do it, anyone can.
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shmowder · 8 months ago
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I love thinking about how each healer would comfort their s/o differently, like they’re all healers but manage the emotional aspects of pain in different ways. to me, once he’s attached to u enough, daniil could probs be very soothing if he wanted to be and if the situation called for it. calm whispers, “it’s ok, i’ve got you. I know it hurts but I will make it all go away”, featherlight touches that almost feel dreamlike. artemy is like the silent but calming presence that feels reliable and like home, yk? a glass of water that’s always full, gentle back rubs, layers of blankets that make you feel like there isn’t a worry in the world. I love them both so much, especially as someone who is always ill and or injured lmao. would love to hear ur take tho! love u lots!
i love you lots too anon. i might not know you but i do love you. lots.
Different ways they'd comfort you
[ Comfort, Fluff, Can be either platonic or romantic ]
[ Bachelor, Haruspex, GN Reader]
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Daniil Dankovsky
It is common knowledge that the bachelor doesn't have the best bedside manners. His eloquent speech can take a sharp turn if provoked. Be it the accidental condescension or the occasional sarcasm, there are so many reasons why he'd be placed approximately at the bottom of the figurative list of people to seek comfort from.
And yet, you do.
He doesn't know how to deal with tears, which leads to his lack of tact as the only thing he can manage to say to you is to stop crying.
Is he saying it to you? It's worded like an order, much like he'd tell a patient to stop sneezing whilst aware it's an involuntary bodily reaction. Crying is an almost petellar reflex to intense emotions, high stress, overwhelming joy, or consuming despair.
Doctors grow jaded with time, the daily exposure to patients experiencing what could be considered the worst days of their entire lifetime simply does that to someone. Many people die before your eyes, you simply have to keep going and go check on the other patient waiting in the next room over.
Cases ranging from a newly teething infant experiencing mild discomfort with an overly concerned mother to a young newly wed person, about to receive the devastating news in the form of a positive test results confirming the suspicions about a terminal illness.
The trivial problems of the daily life simply pale in comparison.
You pour your heart out to him and his first instinct is to look for a solution, not realising the importance of simply venting.
He doesn't understand why you keep coming back to him exactly, especially after he messes up each time. Adding fuel to the fire, the only thing he manages to do is make you feel worse than you've felt before talking to him.
When life gets him down, he gets up, dusts himself off, and tries again. Simple as that. He refuses defeat;Daniil will never concede.
It's just what he's used to. His sharp tongue rarely spares him, and unlike other people, Daniil can't simply walk away from himself when his mind won't shut up as it constantly nitpicks on every single one of his mistakes and shortcomings. He is subjected to having to deal with himself every hour of the day.
You're asking him for something which he cannot even give to himself. Isn't it unfair? How could he extend you warmth and comfort when he can't even provide it for his own self.
It was easier to simply repress it all, to focus on the main prize above his head and ignore everything else.
Time after time you seek him out during your most vulnerable moments and he messes up. He feels insufficient, inadequate for this delicate role.
But you don't stop nor ever learn, you take whatever little kindness he's able to provide and treasure it.
Daniil hates feeling inadequate.
You make him want to try harder.
And so he learns, seeks books and guides. Clumsily attempts several techniques, works hard to reconnect with the emotions he has ignored all his life, with the sympathy he buried deep down.
With empathy.
Most importantly, he learns when to shut up.
Daniil is almost embarrassed by how effective his attempts at comfort became once he just closed his mouth and let you talk without interruptions, once he stopped listing solutions and learned how to listen.
To imagine how you must be feeling, to attempt to contextualise it and paint a semi accurate picture in his mind. To feel even a fraction of your pain.
And you see his sincerity behind the stiff expression and awkward shoulder patting. The way his eyebrows scrunch as he attempts to come up with an adequate sentence that could lessen your pain, or at least acknowledge it.
Daniil Dankovsky struggling for words is not a sight easily forgettable.
Gradually, he becomes better at reading your emotions. Realising what it is you truly need at the moment, be it words of encouragement, a hug, some time alone or just to talk shit together about the source of your pain, be it a person or else.
Physical contact isn't something he is very accustomed to either. You don't get many hugs in Thanatica, handshakes, however? yeah, there are plenty of those.
It's not just you he learns to console through this, but himself too. It was a pleasant side-effect that should've been obvious in handsight, yet he overlooked somehow.
He's better at regulating his own emotions, his infamous temper visits less and less frequently. Instead of simply getting up after falling down, he takes a moment to catch his breath now. He thinks of you, his motivation, of how he should probably go back home and have dinner with you rather than keep reattempting this failing experiment over and over.
Daniil comforts you with the same novelty of someone who hasn't known much comfort in his life. It's raw and callow at times. He's clearly putting in the required effort and more, overcompensating for his previous shortcomings.
He makes it known that you're not alone.
That this, too, eventually will pass. You've managed to overcome so much before, you'll survive this, too.
It's not easy, it never will be. Life is hard, so accept his offers of help. Let him carry your portion of responsibility while you get on your two feet, he'll be diligent.
Daniil might not be very good with vulnerability or emotions, but he has got everything else you could need. He will learn, never stay stagnant or let failure deter him. Whatever you require, he will accomplish and more.
Because he cares for you deeply.
The sight of you in pain is simply too much; he'll become restless and attempt to fix the situation in any way possible. He will make the pain go away. He is a doctor goddammit, and his degree has to amount to something in these situations.
It has to.
Daniil learns to lovingly cradle your face and gently wipe the flowing tears. To reassure you that everything will be okay, he promises.
Artemy Burakh
As early as he could remember, his father, Isidor, was always authentic with his emotions and feelings. Even more than most men were comfortable with showing during this time period.
Isidor taught him not only to listen to his heart, but to take it seriously. Emotions are what makes living worth living, what right do we have to supress them? If tears want to flow, then let them. If you care about someone, then cherish them.
The kin respected their own bodies and intuition, a burden shared is a burden halved, a joy shared is a joy doubled. They looked out for each other, they mourned with their neighbours and celebrated their friends achievements as if their own.
Generous in their love and sorrows.
They never subscribed to the notion of individualism or keeping up appearance, the put-together apathetic facade this new age is making people wear. The pointless masquerades and supressing emotions, the need to pretend that humans were something above the sensitivity of mammals.
That the heart was simply a machine.
These lessons were embedded deep within Artemy, to be proud of what he feels, to never ignore a single feeling nor diminish his own needs. He was loved, deeply during childhood and he carried that love with him everywhere he went.
It made him stand out during his years of travelling, his blunt authenticity made him memorable.
War is never easy, much stronger men became husks of themselves in front of his own eyes in the army. Artemy witnessed the fall of commanders with hearts of steel.
No matter how apathetic and uncaring anyone seems, their hearts are always laid bare before him on the surgery table, their lips always end up calling for their mother as Artemy extracts the ninth bullet from the deep wound in their thighs.
Yet his resolve never faltered no matter how grim his daily life became, his well of empathy never dried up. Because the answer to life difficulties was never to rawr and bite it back, you can't just be brave and bite the wind back.
His softness kept his mind intact. The love nurtured within him from a young age was what protected him during those years of madness. War couldn't break him, despair could never trick him, he trusted his body and heart far too much to fall into these traps.
If anything, his tested resolve only strengthened. He stubbornly digged his heels into the dirt below and refused to abandon hope.
You need to be soft in order to be truly strong. To allow the waves of emotions to pass through you like a river instead of constantly swimming against the tides.
No situation is too hopeless, no pain is permanent. There is no dignity in suffering, there is no bravery in hurting.
Artemy is more aware of other's emotions than people realise. It's a children's game to imagine himself in someone else's shoes and picture what they might be feeling. He just rarely mentions it or puts it to use.
People don't like it when you point out their emotions to them, he learned that the hard way. If someone wants to feign ignorance or remain unaware of their own feelings, than it is simply not his business.
He immediately notices it when your mood starts to shift. Of course he does; you're an important person in his life.
But you'll need to speak up for him to be able to address the elephant in the room. If you're not upfront or dismiss his questions about how are you feeling lately then he won't push the subject or attempt to force answers out of you. He'll respect your decision and wait until you come to him out of your own volition.
Artemy is a reliable support beam in this town, much like his father once was. Be it the kin or else, people entrust him with their moments of need and weakness. The kin seek him out during times of strife, he fullfills the Menkhu role earnestly.
Whatever you're facing seems much more manageable with him supporting your back. Catching you whenever you fall and allowing you to rest, sharing his wamrth with you when the world outside is too cold and cruel.
He makes you feel loved through his actions and words.
His smile is especially reassuring, the hardned face of someone who has seen far too much of humanity's cruel and sadistic side. Who has witnessed the worst of the worst of people and could still fearlessly love afterwards.
You'll be held in his arms, hugged and craddled for as much as you need. His body feels strong, you feel safe. He whispers words of wisdom, be it prayers to the earth to watch over you or reassurance that you're more than enough, that stronger than you know, that you'll always be more loved than any sense of despair could overwhelm you.
He keeps your body rested and well-fed, freshly cut fruits he coax you to try. Warm soup he shamelessly brings a pot of to your door each day in case you didn't have lunch, pouring you a glass of water whenever the two of you sit down. He is very attentive to your basic needs.
Your mind, however, he doesn't know a remedy for. He's deeply sorry that you've been dealt an unfair hand in this life, Artemy will ease the pain as many times as it takes. He will usher the monsters and whispering shadows away, he will guide you to the light whenever the corners of your mind get too dim.
Because he never takes your happiness for granted, he treasures every single day when you're sound of body and mind. He knows to count his blessings.
And it's worth it in the end to see you smile again. It's worth all the fussing and hard work, it's worth everything in this world. Loving you is worth it.
He's thoughtful, gentle, and patient. He listens to your tales of sorrow, lets you pour your heart out to him, and stain his clothes with your tears as he keeps a hand on your back. Telling you he is here, by your side and he is never going anywhere else.
He will remain here, protect and watch over you until his hair turns grey and his skin wrinkles.
Holding your hand in his, running his thumb over your skin, intertwining your fingers together as he pulls you closer.
Kissing the temple of your head, vowing your safety, whatever your cost may be.
Let him share your burden, entrust him with your pain. He will be strong enough for the two of you, he will be as soft as a feather to cushion your fall.
And everything will be okay.
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