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#which saddens me a little but
disdaidal · 6 months
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Them: Look, here's a cool resource!
Me: Oh yay!
Them: In order to access that, you must join our Discord group!
Me... oh nay.
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shipsarebeautiful · 3 months
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Bit late but in honour of Pretty No Susume I present the Pretty 5 gender scale
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acebytaemin · 2 months
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would it be laughable to close a tracked tag a couple months after starting it 🤔
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fragmentedblade · 3 months
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The "Dan Heng is Dan Feng" dogmatics annoy me a lot. It entirely brushes off one of the most interesting and prevalent questions posed by the game, incarnated by several characters and stories that give the question different hues with different potential answers, and a constant also in HI3, like a thread waving the two games together
#The question about what makes a person themselves is super interesting#Is it the memories? Is it personality? Is it body? Is it resemblance? What about narrative reiteration?#Bronya is not Silver Wolf but they're both HI3 Bronya but also they're not#Is March the same person she once was? What about the Trailblazer? Welt looks at Himeko and Silver Wolf and feels like drowning#but he is looking at nothing other than something eerily recognisable#Vidyadhara are reborn anew as if washed clean but Dan Heng's process was skewed. What does it mean to Dan Heng?#He has the body he has the moves he has the stern haughty air he has muddy memories he can't quite recall but something stays#Is he or is he not the same? Where does one end and the other start? Where do they overlap?#Does how others regard him influence whether he is or isn't Dan Feng?#Does the memories of others weight more than your own memories and will?#What does constitute a person? How is selfhood constructed? What are the ontological implications of all this?#If you respond to these questions one way in one context when it comes to one character‚ can you confidently reply the same thing#in a different context for a different character? If not‚ why? What does it say?#It's not a straight up answer. The question is what's interesting and it's what makes Dan Heng's story interesting#Seeing it dogmatically negated mainly for the purpose of a ship annoys me a lot#It is a constant in HSR but it's even more clear after playing HI3. This problematic about what constitute identify and selfhood#and whether or not they're the same thing is a constant there too. With Kiana‚ with Otto‚ with Kevin‚ with Fu Hua‚ with the simulations#of the Flame Chasers most notably with Mobius but in general with the continuation of their goals and feelings‚ Klein as human and as ELF‚#the iteration of consciences of the Herrschers‚ the puppets of the Herrscher of Domination‚ the influence of the Herrscher of Corruption‚#the many times characters are found in different universes being slightly different yet recognisable‚ the amount of times characters seem#to reiterate existences in different eras‚ echoing past selves with past faces yet different‚...#And usually it's not easy to respond to all of them with the same answer‚ which only opens more questions. It's extremely interesting#and it's obviously a topic Honkai as a game cares about a lot. But no. Nothing matters. Dan Heng *is* Dan Feng yes or yes no questions asked#No problematic. No questioning. No doubts. All usually because of a ship. That the drive. I don't know... I'm all for shipping#but I quite dislike when shipping gets so out of hand it crushes and brushes off good writing or core motifs in a text. It's... shabby#And it saddens me haha. Why do you even care about these characters and their dynamic if you're erasing core traits of them as characters?#Abfkabdkkd anyway...#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#But I had to vent a little. It annoys me a lot this kind of approach to analysis what can I say
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kittlyns · 5 months
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Something I've noticed amongst my family is that they would rather keep you at a distance but let you know they're "thinking of you" by praying for you, and not making any real effort to ask how you are, or if there's anything they can do for you.
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the-busy-ghost · 2 years
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No need to worry, the screams of fury emanating from her room are just because she made the terrible decision to read someone else’s list of the ‘100 Best Classic Fiction Works in English’
#Usually it wouldn't bother me that we disagree on some of the items on the list- that's a good thing!#And the point in looking at lists like this is to find out other people's opinions and recommendations#And you always know they're going to be biased#And the fact that it's male dominated isn't all that surprising especially for adult literature#However#What really got to me was this particular individual this utter HAM included children's literature#And that's where the gender bias not only became obvious; but it also became clear that this wasn't a list of classic books#This was just a list of the only books this guy had read#Female writers wrote a hefty portion of what we traditionally call children's classics#I know this because I actually read fiction as a child (adulthood less so)#And unlike this journalist I was diagnosed with Little Girl and therefore expected to read books by both men AND women#I'm not angry at this guy; he's obviously made the attempt to unlearn some of his assumptions#Especially with adult fiction#I'm more saddened by how obvious it is that boys of his generation were expected to only read books about boys; by men#And then we wonder why they grow up with a bias towards works by men as adults?#I just thought children's classics had to be an exception; even if they read stuff by men in other areas SURELY they'd read classics#like the Secret Garden or the Railway Children or Black Beauty especially in cases where the woman only used initials so you couldn't tell#It was a stupid fucking idea to put children's literature on the same list as adult classics anyway as children's lit is such a huge genre#But I'm sorry I read Robert Louis Stevenson (loved it) and Jack London and Mark Twain and Kenneth Grahame just like this guy#So I don't understand how he managed to miss out on everything except Little Women (which is sometimes marketed to adults which may explain)#It's not news of course that boys are often not expected to read books that aren't about boys we know this#What really got me is a) I would have thought the books often (rightly or wrongly) marketed as 'classics' would have been exempt from this#And b) now I know this dude didn't do his due diligence when creating this list because he clearly didn't think he needed to go back#and expand his knowledge of children's literature before throwing his list together based on what he personally read as a boy#Like personally if I was going to make the controversial decision to add children's lit to an already controversial list of classics#I for one know that I should go back and read the things I missed out on as a kid#For example my knowledge of children's classics is thoroughly determined by mid-twentieth century British views#Hence I read a lot of stuff from the Edwardian era#Hence I also didn't read many books by non-white writers- something which I now know to have been dictated by outside circumstances#So I would be very hesitant to just list off as 'the best children's books' all the ones I alone had read
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lewyn-martell · 9 months
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first episode of percy jackson pretty bad, full of plot holes and very low effort but i will not stop watching this show i was obsessed with the books when i was 12
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trivialbob · 2 years
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Normally when I work I leave most of the lights off. There’s a lamp next to my desk that stays on. Everything else can be dark.
I’ll turn on lights when making breakfast (sunrise was 7:40 AM today) but most fall and winter days the rest of the house is dark. I could be making one of those 1970s energy crisis public service announcements. Turn off your car’s A/C this summer to eke out 0.07 more MPG! Turn off lights when leaving the room! Wear extra layers and turn down your heat!
Today is different. It’s cold and raining. That’s depressing. To cheer me up I’ve left many lights on.
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wvrlock · 11 months
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ooc
#i keep thinking of my heckna campaign (it's always on my mind and has been for over two years yeah)#but ummmm yeah my players can never find a day to play#i love that campaign i love playing it with them but it's a bit exhausting being the only person trying#there's one of my players who joined recently and was a spectator until very recently who's responsible#but aside from that im the one chasing after them always#and im... well#im attached to them as players and do have fun witb them but truth be told I don't really consider them friends anymore#they did some questionable things to a mutual friend#and i told them i wanted to talk about it because it upset me but that wouldnt change our relationship#because they had done nothing to me personally#but we never got to talk. in fact we havent seen each other in person for almost a year#when they know im unemployed and frankly free on most days#they never text me first either and we only talk about rp-related stuff#which doesn't really hurt anymore? they aren't my friends but they're my players and im okay with thar#but now... yeah they're kinda elusive as players as well#i know if i go and tell them i want to drop our campaigns i will lose them for good. there is nothing between us anymore#that does sadden me a little because they aren't bad people and i have loved them so so much#but... yeah they didn't make any efforts as friends and now they don't do it as players either#i think i could be able to put together a new table to be honest#because i do want to run heckna. it is a campaign that means so so so much to me#and... well i can live without dragon heist i suppose? i was really invested in my player's dynamics#and relationships with npcs#and i was SO excited to see it develop... but i don't think that's gonna happen in... idk years?#im just... thinking.#i could be my 'game day' to. you know. actually play something#ooc#negativity cw
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Heartstopper S2 spoilers (kind of)
So I watch Heartstopper with my mom and we both absolutly adore the show, me because I am gay and love to see a more wholesome queer story for a change and my mom because she likes watching series with me. But I also have all four volumes on my shelves so of course I knew some of the things that were going to happen in season 2 and I warned her that at one time I was going to cry, I did the last episode really got me and the Louvre scene almost got me. To my suprise Isaac his scenes also had a lot of impact on me, but also not suprising since I am struggling with where I fall on the aroace spectrum so like of course his story speaks to me.
But that is actually not what I started this post for. Because like I said I have all four volumes and I am an annotater when I read, which means my volumes have nice color coded sticky thingies and I write in my books with those clear sticky notes since I dont want to actually write in my comic. And now my mom knows I do this and she asked if she can maybe read the comics, both to see the differences the show made with the comics but also to see my thoughts I write in them. And like there are some pretty serious stuff in there (Cause like I am Charlie, we are one and the same so a lot of his experiences I really recognize) but I would like to show some of my favourite comments I have left where my mom will just be like "Sweetie, why did you feel the need to write this down?"
Also most of this is me cursing at David but here we go:
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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when the yuutsu of the getsuyoubi gets too out of hand yk—
#i wanna complain about my monday so hi tags you’re my rant victims now—#so like i was already super crabby this morning after sleeping through 2 alarms. which was the perfect start to the monday really.#i ended up leaving the house late (as you do) and when i finally got onto the train that’d take me to my workplace… there weren’t any seats#standing for an hour-long journey across the country when you wanted to nap along said journey is unwarrantedly angering y k ಠ‿ಠ#and when i finally reached my stop… the bus that i had to take to my workplace was right there at the bus stop. i could make it if i ran!!!!#so i ran… but there were these two ladies walking at a snails pace down the stairs leading to the bus stop. ಠ‿ಠ#so ofc i missed the bus by a single second. like,the bus pulled off from the stop the moment i ran up to it. not. fun.#so i was a little late to work (still within the grace period though which was cool ig)#then i was told that i’d be stationed at the worst workstation and i!!!! aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!#the freakin’ calibration check thing kept failing by 0.20!!!!!!!! it was soooo closeee but nooooo it just had to fail.#thankfully my coworker helped me with part of the workstation while i suffered. nice dude.#i kept (almost) falling asleep in front of the computer while waiting for the checks and stuff though. but i couldn’t actually sleep so :(#it’s too early in the week for this nonsense </3 i hate it here </333#and then i found out that ✨drama✨ happened at work on saturday… but i was completely unaware of it bc i’m oblivious af. truly saddening#i could’ve witnessed greatness— but noooo i just had to loop my music at full blast instead#anyways the workday passed exhaustingly. i gained my energy in the afternoon though. which was dumb bc it meant my morning was unproductive#and ofc when i was about to clock out… i got a scam call while i was in the workplace bathroom. how auspicious#and thanks to the few minutes that i wasted on that bs i missed the earlier bus out of the workplace. yay#and ofcccccc when i finally got a seat on my commute back… i’m stuck between 2 manspreaders. the temptation to kick their legs is real ngl#literally hate it here </3 i should’ve called in sick today#i just hope that i won’t have to teach the interns anything tomorrow… fingers crossed mans#i’m just. sooooooo tired. and done with this. why can’t sunday come sooner </3#inedible blubbering
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chiropteracupola · 2 years
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any definition of what is and is not art is completely arbitrary and any attempt to put further labels around it is not ever going to be perfectly successful!!
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skeletalheartattack · 2 years
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i was able to get twilight princess wii version working on the dolphin emulator. it was a little tricky though. certain actions like catching fish required me to map a specific button to do the wiimote wiggles the game wanted. also there were graphical issues that i had to download a mod or something to fix. but. other than that i was able to play it! so theres an option for ya
sadly the issue i always run into isn't gameplay-related, it's usually performance related, since my laptop is roughly from 2007 or so. most games i try to emulate that are within the range of gamecube-ps2 era (and anything beyond) usually run below double digit frames.
#ask#catboygirljoker#hence why id rather a physical copy than emulation in this case#ik i can probably mod my wii but. id rather not ruin my wii honestly#my old laptop was able to handle emulation really well#when i played animal crossing city folk. i modded the entire controls to an xbox controller (since its a wii game)#and i had a button used for enabling wii cursor movements (for typing and using my inventory) to the joystick#which. honestly feels better to use for typing with a controller? like you hold R1 and move the joystick around and press A#which. makes me wonder why no ones tried it for current age typing with controller(?)#i dont have any new consoles so for all ik they already do that#but yeah. ive tried playing games im absolutely itching to play from my childhood but cant due to my hardware issues#it makes me want to implode honestly#the curses of having a laptop that does. okay at most things. but playing games isnt one#especially in a field where game devs dont really care too much about the person with the laptop from two decades ago#its sad but. i cant do anything about it#i cant even play current day gmod for example. i have to resort back to gmod 12.#which is a little saddening because some old addons (like playX) dont work anymore for gmod 12#most ive been doing in gmod 12 is just personalizing it for myself. have a stupid joke where i call it gammy's mod 2001 xp vista#had like 4 people ask me what it was#i only have CSS and HL2DM ''mounted'' atm. tf2 would be such a pain to port honestly.#primarily because gmod 12 is a sourcemod so it doesnt actively look for file directories. instead it looks in source sdk base 2007#so you gotta copy all your files from those games there. and i dont have lots of space#anyway i really do appreciate your ask!!!! my situation is just. complicated.
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neil-gaiman · 3 months
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hi neil. i've held off on writing this message for a bit because i didn't know if i could get it out or not.
i work in a senior healthcare facility. not a nurse or anything, i actually just serve food to the residents, but it's given me the ability to get to know a lot of the people that live there. because of this, i was able to befriend a wonderful lady named sally. she would always come talk to me while i served up the meals, and we'd have nice chats. she spent most of her time reading books, since she didn't like to do many of the activities with the other residents, and since she loved books with mystery and suspense, i loaned her my copy of american gods, thinking that she'd enjoy it. and she did! i loved it when she'd come talk to me about the chapter she'd just read, our little chats about wednesday, just everything. i was happy that she liked the book.
our chats kind of tapered off after awhile, and we didn't talk as much. she's had my book for well over a year now, which i hadn't minded, but she eventually started picking up our chats again, about the book. but she was talking about how she had just started reading it and that she was really interested in it so far. i came to realize some time later that sally was actually just finally showing signs of dementia, which was saddening for me to hear, but it's one of the heavy realities of working in a facility like this. she had always struggled with some memory and speech issues, but i'd always chalked it up to her older age.
anyway. i am saddened by this onset, but at the same time, i am also finding some strange comfort in knowing that she will come up to me at breakfast, wanting to talk to me about american gods, because she's forgotten that she's already read most of it, and she just reads the first few chapters over and over. she doesn't leave her room without it, she brings it to the table with her every day. when she leaves the facility with her family for an outing, she brings it with her. i am just. so comforted knowing that your book i loaned her a year ago is a source of joy and delight for her, and continues to be so over and over. i know i'll never get that book back, and i won't ever try to get it back from her, even if she stops reading it. i want her to keep it.
i now have a streak regarding losing my books that you've written, i'm two for two now, haha
idk. i'm just really kind of overwhelmed today by all the emotions surrounding it and i'm just happy that you wrote something that she likes so much, and that we talk about it even though she doesn't remember that we've talked about it a dozen times before. i love each and every chat with her so much, and i want to keep having them with her for as long as i can. thank you for your work.
Some of the happiest hours of my life were spent with a friend with advanced Parkinson's dementia, sitting on his porch with him, both of us reading. And he read the same few pages over and over and it was okay.
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eraenaa · 5 months
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Mine
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Aemond Targaryen x Wife Reader Tag List
Synopsis: You are the best thing that has ever been Aemond’s, which is why you cannot really blame him for being so possessive and cautious not to lose you. 
Warnings: Possessiveness, Jealousy, Mature, 18+, P in V Sex, Fingering, Not Proofread 
Word Count: 3,193
A/N: This is based on an anonymous request where they wanted a glimpse of the married life of Aemond and Reader from my other one-shot 'But Daddy, I love him'
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They often say marriage was a duty— it was a dire chore that not many seemed to enjoy, but that sentiment was one Aemond could ever agree to because being married to you was the most pleasurable and honorable thing he had ever experienced. He thought riding his Vhagar was the purest and most gratifying experience he would ever feel, but he was proven wrong. Being with you— being your husband would be the greatest pleasure he would have the honor of knowing. 
Aemond sighed in contentment as he clutched you closer to his chest. Burying his nose atop your head as you slept soundly in his arms. It was a scene he quickly had gotten used to. It had only been three moons since your marriage, but Aemond could not recall a day where he woke with you, not in his arms. He could not recall a moment where his lips had not known the pressure or the taste of yours. Aemond refused to reminisce upon the days when you were not his.
Aemond felt his lips twitch as you huddled yourself closer to his chest, a small moan emitting from you as the wake of the morning sun slowly crept in. “Happy name day, my love,” You mumbled against Aemond’s smooth and chiseled chest, deeply inhaling his scent as you felt his arms wrap around you tighter. “My name day is not until the morrow.” He said and ran his hands through your hair. You hummed and stretched your limbs, slowly peeling your eyes open to see the handsomeness of your husband as the fresh morning sun lit his Valyrian features. “I know, but the celebrations are tonight, so I thought it would be best to greet you today as well,” You smiled and moved your head to kiss his lips. 
Aemond sighed happily when he felt your lips against his. Aemond cupped your cheek and deepened your kiss, his whole body aflame with the burning desire to be intimate with you once more. You feel his cold hand venture to the plump flesh of your behind, squeezing it roughly, making you gasp in shock. Your husband taking the opportunity of your parting lips to snake his tongue in and feel and taste you. You felt his wanting against your thigh, warm and pulsating. And though you, too, want Aemond, feeling the need for him gathering in your folds, you gently push your husband away. You bit your lip to hinder a laugh as he looked at you, lips still puckered and eye filled with question and hurt that you would deny him of your kisses. 
“We have lots to do today, husband… I am afraid we cannot indulge ourselves this morning.” You say and tried to pull away. Aemond shook his head, feeling his cock painfully seek pleasure as his eye caught your naked form being exposed as the thin sheet was removed from your frame. “It is my name day. You cannot be so cruel and deny your lord husband on the day they celebrate his birth,” Aemond reasoned, pulling on your arm and trying to capture your lips once more. You laughed, “As you’ve said, your name day is not until the morrow— now, let go of me, for I shall need to bathe,” You said and quickly pecked his lips. 
You smiled as you heard him groan and whine like a little child. You loved seeing him in such a way— when in the privy of your chambers, his stoic and imposing demeanor was shed and you could see the actuality of him. You get to enjoy his handsome smiles, his genuine laughs, and his fiery touches. But the moment you stepped foot out of the four walls of your marital chambers, he once again returned to the stony, aloof prince that he is known to be. It is saddening that the world will never know the truth of your husband. You would note how the ladies and lords at court would look at you with pity. Bound and tied to what they perceive as a cold prince, but Aemond was far from it. He was a blazing fire that kept you warm even in the coldest of nights. But you supposed it was a prestigious honor to be the few who knew of your husband’s tenderness and love. 
Your smile widened as your husband called for your name once more; you peeked your head from the wet room where a steaming bath was already waiting. “Come back to bed, my light,” Aemond called, and you shook your head. “I need to bathe,” You countered, enjoying the way his thin lips almost formed a pout. “And I need someone to wash my back as well… will you help me, dearest?” You bit your tongue as Aemond was quick to his feet and escorted the both of you to the tub. He did not waste a moment as he placed his lips against yours again. Pulling you to rest atop his chest as he leaned back against the copper tub, bare bodies tangled under the milky, scented water of the bath that was meant for only you. 
Your breathing hitched as his lips moved from your lips to the apex of your neck and shoulder, feeling as his teeth nipped the supple skin to leave his marks. Your eyes closed pleasurably as you feel your husband’s hands guide your hips so your sex could grind upon his length. “Aemond,” You sighed as you felt the tip of his cock repeatedly glide against the sensitive pearl of your cunt. “Yes, my wife?” Aemond hummed; his voice had an edge that you were growing all too familiar with. He wanted to succumb to pleasure, to be buried deep inside you, but he wanted you to beg for the pleasure he, too, was desperate for. You clenched your jaw and moved your hips, grinding upon his length with more pressure. Aemond hissed and threw his head back, you simply just watched his reactions to the pleasurable torment that both of you were enveloped in. 
Your breathing caught in your throat, and your jaw slacked as your husband abruptly entered you— you harshly sinking on his well-endowed length. Aemond’s breathing was quick to grow labored as your walls clenched around him. The only thing heard in the room was your moans, Aemond’s heavy, pleasured sighs, and the slosh of water as your husband guided you to bounce on his cock. “A…Aemond,” You called, fisting his silky, silver hair as his head dipped down to take one of your breasts into his mouth, nibbling at the bud, making you clench around him tighter. Your moans grew louder as Aemond lifted his hips to meet yours, fucking you deeper to the point that your eyes rolled back, and only incoherent words were uttered from your lips. “Fuck, look at you so pleasured by your husband… louder, little wife, I want them to hear how I pleasure you so— so early in the morning as well,” Aemond hummed and moved his hand that was on your hips to your cunt, his thumb drawing circles upon the pearl of your cunt making you moan louder, just like Aemond had wished. 
“Oh… Aemond, please! Please, please, please,” You cried, placing your hands on his shoulders as you hoisted yourself to take him deeper and harsher, feeling the bubbling need for release. The prince smirked up at you. Gods, he loved you even more when you were on the verge of coming for him; he loved how desperate and more lewd you became for him. The stifled groans Aemond held were let out when you suddenly reached behind you and cradled his sacks. He looked up at you through hooded eyes, a small smirk on your lips as you moaned his name, your tits bouncing before him as you both reached your peak. You tried to catch your breath as you rested your forehead upon your husband’s. “Well, that was most productive. Do you not think so, wife?” He teased and cupped your behind with both of his hands; you let out an amused breath and shook your head, letting him carry you out of the tub so the both of you could truly get ready for the day. 
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For the rest of the day, you were busy with the final preparations for that night’s festivities. Inspecting if everything is in perfect order for your husband’s name day. In truth, Aemond had no wish for such a grand celebration. He would rather spend his special day in the privy of your company, and usually, you would oblige your husband. However, after hearing that not once was his name day celebrated with such an event, you had to change that. You wished for him to experience the joy and festivity of a whole kingdom celebrating the day you were born. 
“Do not strain yourself, sister; it is not good for the both of you,” You hear Helaena hum as she pauses by the great hall to see how the preparations are coming. You lightly chuckle, “Aye, Aemond had been insisting for me to cancel this feast, fearing that it would burry me in work, but I do not mind it, truly.” You smiled and fixed an askew goblet on the long table. “I did not mean Aemond,” Helaena said, her voice far off, making you pause in confusion. But that confusion was quick to vanish as you heard the call of your beloved brother. “Sister!” Lucerys ran to where you stood, and you quickly enveloped your younger brother in an embrace. 
“Oh. I have missed you, sweet boy!” You beamed and held him tighter. You turned to the end of the hall and saw the other members of your family entering, them obliging your request and coming all the way from Dragonstone to attend your husband’s name day. “I’m so glad you all came,” You smiled and went to kiss your mother on her cheek. You turned to your father, who could only grunt; his animosity towards your husband was still there, but you could see it slowly fading with each moment he saw how truly happy you were to be Aemond’s wife. “We would not have missed it, my sweet girl,” Your mother smiled. “Isn’t that right, dear husband?” Your mother nudged your father, who took a deep, burdened breath before reluctantly nodding. “All your chambers have been prepared; I think it would be best if you rest before the feast… so all could be in a more cheery mood,” You turn to your father with a pointed look. “Very well then,” He sighed and kissed your temple before walking off and going to their bed chambers. 
“How has married life treated you, my sweet?” Your mother asked as you two were left alone. “I would guess it has treated you well… you look positively radiant, but I want to hear it from your lips.” She added, and your smile widened. “I… I am incandescently overjoyed, mother.” You said, and your mother lightly laughed to see the joyous glint in your eyes. “I am glad you found such happiness with Aemond,” She sighed, and you could only smile in agreement. Your smile grows wider as you see your husband across the hall, walking towards you and your mother. “Sister,” he nodded civilly, and your mother did the same. “Might I have a moment with my wife?” He asked, and you felt your body tingle as he was quick to wrap his strong arm around your waist, “Of course, I’ll see you two at the feast. Happy name day, Aemond.” Your mother said with a small smile. 
“What is it?” You asked your husband as he was guiding you towards the direction of your chambers with hastened steps. When behind closed doors, you feel his lips against yours and your bodies flushing against each other. “Nothing, I just terribly missed my wife,” He said in between breaths after parting your kiss. You laugh and lightly hit his chest. “I was with you just a few hours ago,” You said against his lips, your heart spiking as you felt his fingers sly try to undo the lace of your gown. “Stop it.” You warned, but Aemond only grinned wider, connecting your lips to distract you from his other actions. You giggled as you heard your husband whine when you pushed him away and parted your lips. “We do not have time for this, Aemond. We still have to prepare for the feast.” 
“Fuck the feats,” He said, and your eyes widened in slight offense as he dismissed the event that you had been working on tirelessly for weeks. His eye too soon widened as he saw the offense in yours. “No— I… that is not what I meant, my light.” He quickly said and cupped your cheeks. “It’s just that I… I need you.” He whispered and pecked your lips. “You just had me this morning,” You say and wrap your arms around his neck. “That was not enough… I could never have enough of you,” he smiled as your heart turned to mush and your mind turned simple by the look in his eye. You whimpered as you felt his lips on your neck, threading closer to your clavicle. It took a whole lot of control in you to push him away once more and not be tempted by the prospect of pleasure. 
“Patience, my prince,” You say as Aemond’s hands were firmly placed on your waist. “You will have me over and over and over again tonight… just as long as you be patient,” You whispered, watching as his lilac eye turned dark at your words. “Just be obliging and welcoming to our guests until the feast ends, and you and I could be locked here in our chambers, drowning in pleasure until the next moon if you so wish.” You added, and you watched as he gulped. Aemond searched your eyes and only saw seriousness to back your words. “Very well,” He said and felt his heart stutter as you went to the tip of your toes to peck his lips. 
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Aemond was trying earnestly to appear cheery and obliging to the guests. He had been nodding ceaselessly to the guests who came and greeted him and offered their gifts. It was useless. He had no need for their things— he had everything he needed. He had shelter, food, the tiltyard, and most importantly, you. He had no care for the gold-threaded eye-patch house Lannister presented him nor the new stallion his mother’s house gave. All he cared about and wanted was a prolonged moment of privacy with you, where your attentions were not divided between him and the guests. 
Aemond’s jaw ticked as he saw a past suitor of yours approaching where the two of you sat. Aemond knew that he should not house doubts or insecurities about such matters. He was certainly the higher being. He was an unparalleled warrior; he was a prince; he was your husband. Jealousy is a pitiful, lesser motion that he should not entertain but could not help but do so when it comes to you. He could not help himself as he felt the fiery rage in him only grow with each moment you spoke with your past suitor. It took everything in him not to stab the irrelevant lord alive when he dared make you laugh. Aemond only saw red and was one hair away from beheading the lord as he had the gull to lead out his hand and ask you for a dance. He remembered at the first days of your marriage, even just the lingering look of any of the lords, squires, and even his brothers would cause him to grow enraged to the point he was ready to challenge those punny men. It took great restraint in him not to let his insecurities show through with the times you had to innocently speak with other men, bestowing them with your attention, warm smile, and melodious laughs.
Aemond’s fists clenched around nothing as he felt your expecting stare upon him. You silently waited for his approval that you were certain he would not deny, for it was only a dance. Aemond had promised you that he’d be obliging that night, that he would at least show a grain of warmness towards the lords and ladies, so, however difficult it was, your husband nodded. But Aemond soon regretted his decision as his eye zeroed in on the hold your past suitor had on you. His mind cruelly conjured an alternative life where you were not his but, instead, bound to that lord. He could not stomach to just think of the thought that you were not his wife and lady. He felt vile rising in his throat at the possibility that if the gods were not on his side that fateful day of the tourney for your hand, you would have been married to another, and Aemond would had no choice but to watch you be someone else’s wife. 
Aemond made hastened steps to where you and the lord danced and took his rightful place. “My prince… the song has not ended yet,” the lord had the gull to reason, and Aemond’s jaw clenched. “I have obliged you enough; do not overstep your bounds, my lord. Now, remove your hold from my wife.” He gritted, eye widening in fury. His expression is scarily serious, frightening away the lord. You smiled up at your husband as you felt his familiar and soothing touch upon your skin. 
“I had expected you to deny him of his first request,” You say to Aemond in ancient tongue. You watch him raise his brow in question and skepticism. “Really? It would seem that you had enjoyed his company.” You bit your lip at his words. “Do I sense jealousy, my dear prince?” You asked, tone riddled with tease. Aemond rolled his eye and shook his head, denying that he had succumbed to such a lowly emotion such as jealousy. You felt your lips twitch into a smile as your husband avoided your gaze as you two swayed to the tune of the dance.  You sighed and brought your palm to move his head to face you and for your eyes to lock. “The only company I truly enjoy is yours. You, my dear husband, are the only thing I want.” You say with a beaming smile. Aemond felt his heart and breathing stutter at the radiant smile on your lips and the sincerity in your voice. He sighed in contentment and placed a chaste kiss atop your head. He wished for deeper intimacy, but he could not do so as you two were still before the eyes of the court. 
“Do you wish to retire for the night?” You asked as the song ended, and Aemond eagerly nodded his head at you, making you laugh as he practically dragged you out the hall and back into the bed chambers to finally celebrate his name day in the way he wished. 
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Other fics in this universe: But Daddy, I Love Him (Prequel) and King of My Heart (Sequel)
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meiieiri · 3 months
Text
𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐚 [gojo satoru]
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synopsis: you got married to gojo satoru at the edge of a frozen lake in summer.
pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader
warnings/tags: heavy angst, a love that’s TOO LITTLE TOO LATE if one can even call that a tag, unrequited love (kinda).
Marriage is a golden ring on a chain whose beginning is a single glance between two unsuspecting souls that ends with eternity.
Twelve years. You’ve loved him through twelve springs. It’s bittersweet to think how a person could give another their youth for free. But then again, the only things that you truly keep are the things you give away. That’s just life, isn’t it? And besides, you take a step towards the blue peony littered aisle with a wistful smile on your face as you picture a certain arctic-haired man standing at the other end, when it comes to matters of the heart, keeping ledgers of the love you give and the love you receive is a futile effort.
You should probably put that in your vows later. But ah, what did it matter? Satoru’s probably just gonna wing it later, arguing that expressions of love should be light-hearted and candid much like the love you share.
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“Y/N-chan~!” He steps in front of you, his tall form towering over you as he catches you by the student lounge’s vending machine. Shoko smirks behind you, pulling Suguru ahead of you to leave the two of you alone. She nudges you forward and you cast her a betrayed look to which she only replies with an innocent shrug. It’s common knowledge to everyone in Tokyo Jujutsu High how you feel about the Gojo clan’s illustrious little starlet.
Well, it was common knowledge to everyone except Satoru Gojo.
And you don’t know if you find that comforting or saddening.
Comforting that he wouldn’t find out about your feelings from someone else, though you’re still working up the courage to fess up, you wholeheartedly believe that this is something he should hear from you and you alone. Saddening that maybe the reason he’s been all blissfully ignorant of how your breath becomes shallow whenever he’s around you is he’s actually already aware of your feelings towards him and he’s only deflecting it.
“We’ll go ahead, Y/N,” Shoko says in a sing-song voice, taking your cursed tool from you. “Come see me if you have any injuries!”
“But if it’s a broken heart, she probably can’t fix it,” Suguru chimes in, winking at Satoru as if to say: ‘Go talk to her.’ before turning to follow his girlfriend.
A hush falls between you and Satoru, unspoken words swirling around the two of you like a symphony of longing. Both of you seem to be saying the same thing:
Should I tell her?
Should I tell him?
What would she say?
Would he leave?
If the truth is meant to set you free, then he is your jailer. Why is he content with never uttering those words aloud? Why are you so eager to stay in the hedge maze of your mind, seeking his shadow at every corner? This was a tiring game of hide and seek.
But Satoru is completely fine with letting it drag on if it meant he’d never risk losing you.
And you were fine with that too. You were fine being a prisoner to your truth as long as he was with you in this jail cell. You were fine.
Whatever fine means.
“Wanna go to the arcade?” Satoru looks at you with a shimmering bittersweet look in his eyes.
You smile and a breathy laugh falls from your lips causing his face to light up even more.
“That depends, you gonna let me win?”
“Never.”
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“Y/N! There you are.”
You turn around to see an older Shoko, her youthful bob cut having outgrown its juvenile flare. She looks out of breath, she must have run around the venue looking for you and judging from the way she keeps glancing at her watch, and the exasperated look she was throwing your way at the sight of you still in your silk robe, you needed to get moving.
But your feet remain planted in the middle of the empty aisle, your gaze trained on the arch.
“You feeling okay?” Shoko asks, her hand finding yours in a tender display of solidarity. “It’s okay to be nervous, you know.”
You flash her a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I know. Just…deep in thought.”
“Yeah.”
Weddings are always so beautiful, you think to yourself as Shoko steps back giving you some space as you contemplate the day ahead. Your fingers trace one of the satin linens adorning the trellises much like your heart traces the contours of a love too delicate to verbalize, too powerful to ignore. Your gaze dances over the elegant arrangements of blue, white and gray, the scent of grapefruit-quince adorning the air, mixing with the scent of peonies, jasmines and white musk.
Everything here speaks of the imminent union of two souls finding their way to each other. And how comforting it is to know that no matter where you wander, all paths inevitably lead to Satoru Gojo. And you have your drunk cartographer heart to thank for that.
“He loves you,” Shoko finally says, catching your wrist to bring you over to the gazebo to get touched up.
“…I know.”
You look back at the empty aisle, with all but one question in your mind.
What happens when simply knowing is no longer enough?
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“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again with my sunglasses off?”
You nearly choke on your yogurt drink when you see yet another stunningly familiar light blue sticky note on your desk. Satoru fucking Gojo is going to be the death of you one day. Your touch grazes over the hastily scribbled note, a small smile playing at your lips as you take out a white pad of sticky notes from your school bag. After collecting your thoughts, you decide to play along with his little game, your heart fluttering when you realize that this back and forth could actually be considered flirting.
“There’s no such thing as love at first sight. And sorry, pretty boys like you aren’t exactly my type.”
Satoru finds the white sticky note plastered on his stool in Jujutsu Tech’s science lab. Despite the playful jab in your reply, Satoru is hyperfixated on the fact that you just called him pretty. Did you really mean it? He bites the inside of his cheek being careful not to grin too much in fear of Suguru catching wind of what’s happening — the strongest sorcerer of this generation being caught off-guard by his little crush? Detestable!
“You think I’m pretty? ;) I knew it.”
Shoko looks at you funnily, you’re practically red as a tomato with how you’re fuming from the ears and sputtering about how ridiculous Satoru is being. “He’s just so…so…!”
“You really should work on finishing your sentences now~”
You are interrupted at the sight Satoru practically hopping down the steps leading to the training field with a convenience store bag tucked under his arm and you sigh exasperatedly, turning away as if he was a bug that’s hovering over your ear that you really shouldn’t be paying attention to. All of his six foot two form plops down next to you and you jump when he presses a cold ice cream bar to your cheek.
“You’re awfully generous today, Satoru,” you smirk, accepting and lifting the ice cream bar in silent gratitude, suppressing the blush creeping onto your cheeks.
Satoru blushes himself, his hand coming up to rub the back of his head as a comfortable silence falls between the two of you. Shit, say something, Satoru thinks to himself. Was he being too obvious? Did you somehow piece it together now that he has feelings for you?
In his internal dilemma, Satoru settles for undermining the deliberate gesture.
“I only needed two more stickers to get this really neat toy,” Satoru explains, reaching into the convenience store bag and pulling out his new tamagotchi. “Pretty worth it, I would say. The one I saw in Akihabara is being sold for 7500 yen, but that’s the angelgotch variety, so I kinda get the whole roadside robbery thing.”
Of course, he steered the conversation elsewhere. You’re not even surprised at this point that he’ll always only stay at the surface when he treads these long drawn out conversations with you, too afraid to say anything more — do anything more — than what was necessary as your friend.
Keyword: friend.
He had no obligation to you other than being your friend. And you don’t blame him. You’re not angry at him that he’s only willing to stay in shallow water with you, it’s just…
“Hey, I have to go, Yaga’s calling me.” Satoru casually interrupts your train of heartbroken thoughts, but you do not miss the unease in his voice, he almost sounds sorry that he has to bail again.
But you already send him off with a reluctant thumbs up. As you look at his retreating form, he stops for a bit at the stone tori gate, his head bowed in thought, you don’t know why you held your breath. He reaches into his pocket, but thinks better of it, and he paces two hesitant steps forward.
Then, he looks back to meet your eyes from afar.
And his heart clenches in a mixture of affection and exasperation when you are the first to blushingly look away.
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The ten feet separating the two of you is very reminiscent of how you began: running in opposite directions to outdo the other in your competition to see who can act that they care less, placing more distance between your flustered hearts. Satoru gazes at you as if he’s seen the divine incarnated into a single beautiful being. He wipes a tear from his eye, sniffing momentarily, watching you gracefully float down the aisle with an equally smitten expression on your features.
Clutching the bouquet in your hands, you don’t break eye contact and everything seems to unfold like a motion picture before your very eyes, your and Satoru’s life together in vivid cinematography: your first dance later tonight, your first trip out of the country together for your honeymoon, your first time, your first year, your first child. Everything. You’ve imagined Satoru to be your first in everything. And as you make your way to the aisle, tears glistening in both your orbs, you stop to meet in the middle, the two of you standing on fate’s edge together.
He casts you a look, and you offer him a melancholic smile.
This was it.
The doors open and his bride arrives, and you move to the side, taking your place next to Shoko, painfully leaving the space you and Satoru briefly shared, a space that was never meant for you in the first place.
Which begs the question again: what happens when knowing is no longer enough?
Or is it…the two of you never knew at all how the other felt?
No, you and Shoko watch as Satoru stares at you from his peripheral, his heart fragmenting into irreparable pieces at each step his bride makes towards him.
Should I tell her?
Should I tell him?
What would she say?
Would he leave?
The answer is clear now. He wouldn’t have left. Things were just left unsaid, never admitted — the words that you longed to hear from one another never fell from your lips. Not once in the twelve years you secretly held him in your heart. And thus, fate then decreed that love is for the brave, and not for cowardly souls like you and Satoru Gojo.
And with whatever strength you have left, uncaring if this would cause you to look scandalous: a bridesmaid going after the groom, you mouth the words: “I love you.”
A pained smile appears on his lips, an allegory to the goofy grins he used to flash you when you two were young, and he nods, tears in his eyes.
This was twelve years too late. But it’s better than never.
“I knew it.”
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