#which obviously is the point of this entire exercise

[batsplat]

Donington Park 2008: When Casey Stoner was signed by Ducati for 2007, he was on a one year contract and intensely aware that he was not Ducati's first choice for the seat. While his talent had already been apparent in the lower classes, his initially promising rookie season had been tarnished by his frequent crashes (bagging him the nickname 'Rolling Stoner'), and he also had acquired a reputation for being difficult to work with. Ducati's first choice was not available until 2008 - the expectation was that Stoner might well be axed once Marco Melandri was signed to the team. Nobody expected Stoner to clinch his first premier class victory in the opening race of the season; he was not even expected to be a title contender, let alone dominate the class as he went on to do. Ducati had responded best to the introduction of the 800cc regulations, building a capricious bike that in the right hands would prove to be blindingly quick - while also benefiting from the supposed performance advantage provided by the Bridgestone tyres at most circuits of the calendar. They were responsible for the bike... but it was pure dumb luck that led to them hiring the one rider capable of riding it to such heights. Stoner stormed to the title well clear of his championship rivals, capable of both unassailable dominance of races from start to finish and triumphing in all-out wheel-to-wheel battles. He memorably defeated Valentino Rossi in duels in both Qatar and Catalunya, proving himself immune to the sort of pressure Rossi's past rivals had proven so susceptible to. As for his other rival, Dani Pedrosa, who had beaten Stoner to the 2005 250cc title - he was supposed to be the main young challenger to Rossi's throne until Stoner wrenched that role away from him.

Stoner went into 2008 as the clear favourite to defend his title. He was dismissive of Rossi's choice to switch to the Bridgestone tyres, believing he had not gotten the credit he deserved for his title amongst all this talk of straight line speed and tyre advantages. His title defence got off to the perfect start with another victory at Qatar... but life quickly got more difficult for the defending champion from there. His race at Jerez was messy, with multiple dramatic off-track excursions - and his Estoril experience was tough enough even before a loose Dorna-provided camera began swinging off his bike. By the time he got to Shanghai, he was increasingly vocal and irate in his frustrations with Ducati, who he felt had approached the season with too much complacency. Stoner was in no way mollified by the third place he secured at that race, telling a reporter in parc fermé that "a podium this far off is just about not worth it". With a crisis meeting of sorts within Ducati as everyone involved aired their grievances, Stoner's season was going to need some serious transformation to put him back in championship contention. Shanghai was followed by a horrendous race in Le Mans, but there were already some more positive noises from inside Ducati - and their home race of Mugello proved a happier hunting ground, with a second place secured in a tight fight against Pedrosa. Catalunya brought another podium as Stoner repeated his duel with Rossi of the year before, this time having to narrowly concede defeat and settle for third.

More important than the podium, however, was the post-race test, with Stoner immediately confident that the team had finally gotten on top of their struggles that season (primarily with the electronics). He carried that confidence into the pre-event press conference at Donington and confirmed just how justified it was by dominating the practise sessions. Rossi's front row grid position led to some hope there might be a fight for the victory, but Stoner had no interest in hanging around at the start of the race. As Rossi attempted to hunt him down, he found himself in Stoner's position of the previous race - being waylaid by enthusiastic rookie Andrea Dovizioso, who once again had managed to embroil the second place runner in a fight that allowed the leader to escape out front. Once Rossi had freed himself of Dovizioso, he had the fast-charging Pedrosa to deal with. With Stoner's lead increasingly unassailable, it was now Rossi and Pedrosa's turn to hash it out for second place - with Rossi prevailing ahead of Pedrosa in third, both far adrift of Stoner's dominant display. Stoner was not a popular winner with the British crowd, which had taken a disliking to him the year before and to Stoner's considerable irritation expressed that hostility all weekend. Regardless, Stoner moved up to third place in the championship standings ahead of Jorge Lorenzo, taking his first victory since the opening round and reestablishing himself as a title threat. It signalled a return to the form that had proved so very ominous for rivals the year before - who had good reason to be worried that once Stoner started winning, he simply would not stop.

[sexxyasia]

side to side [nicholas chavez x !fem!reader]

about: nicholas finds himself becoming infatuated with the girl he's been training and helping workout after months of hanging out and exercising together and decides to act on his feelings and thoughts.

warnings: p in v, language, oral sex (male receiving), public sex, rough sex, degrading, face fucking, use of daddy, unprotected sex, creampie, mentions of porn, nicholas having an extremely high sperm count, kinda bdsm (he's hurting her on purpose and making sure shes in pain) anal fingering, peeping tom type behavior, mentions of self pleasuring, size kink, praise kink and y/n can be any race/ethnicity (theres nothing in this story that ties her down to one thing)

(btw this is loosely inspired by side to side by ariana grande)

"do you think you could handle a few more inches?" nicholas asked as you squatted down.

"uhh yeah maybe like 3-4 but i don't know." you replied bending you knees a few more inches as you worked your thigh muscles.

"oh your doing so well y/n, you hardly even need me at this point" he chuckled quietly to you, you turned your head slightly to look back at him seeing his perfectly white smile and his gaze set on your legs.

a slight groan left your lips on your last rep causing your eyes to shut and nicholas' hands to fly to your hips to help support you, slowly his hands pushed you up.

"slower y/n... slower. you don't wanna hurt yourself in a warm up now do you?" embarrassed you smiled and looked away "oh my gosh i'm fine!" you looked up at him and said.

"you know what... you should work your core today. because it seems like every time we get together all you end up doing is glutes and i'm stuck begging you to work something else!" he remarked in a friendly tone

you nodded and followed him as he walked over to the weights rack. "today i want you to start off with a 20." you rolled your eyes in annoyance "i wanna do something easier." he smiled and handed you a 20 instead of your usual 10.

you sat on the mats that'd been set out and put your knees up. you began doing your usual set of russian twists. slightly moaning between each twist as you feel your ab muscles tighten and burn.

in a hushed tone you heard him let out a light laugh, you looked up at him as he laughed and asked him what was so funny.

"you just kinda sound like someone i used to be obsessed with" he said with a smile.

you moaned a little as you twisted slightly faster. "who? tell me" your face twisting and eyes shutting tightly.

"some pornstar i used to watch and i- nevermind it's kind of embarrassing to talk about." he awkwardly stated as he fiddled with some cleaner and a rag.

your face dropped in confusion. "not what i expected but okay..." you said. he chuckled and looked away.

in all the time he's been your personal trainer he's never gotten so... personal. you felt as if you should say something so that he didn't feel so awkward and embarrassed about it all.

"well when i get bored or can't sleep i use my vibrator... its pink."

he looked down at you and smiled before quickly clearing his throat and looking back away from you.

he obviously didn't feel anymore comfortable after you shared that. you could tell from the way he slightly held his breath anytime you made that moaning sound again.

a noticeable silence filled the space between you as you finished up your set placed the weights on the ground and stood up. he handed you the cleaner and rag to wipe off your weights. "heh, thanks, i was just gonna ask... but you... gave it to me... first" you awkwardly replied in a hushed tone.

he sighed loudly before stating "you know, you should just do glutes again today... right?" nicholas chuckled in an embarrassed fashion. "oh of course," you smiled "that's much easier than core for me." you agreed.

༄𓇼🪩𓇼༄𓇼🪩𓇼༄

after you finished your workout you were completely parched and famished, which you made clear to nicholas throughout the entire day. you toweled off and picked up your weights which you took the weights rack after toweling off.

once you'd finished you walked back to the locker room and showered. since no one else was in the locked room you had no issues being fully nude out in the open. then the door swung open, your hand flew to your towel to cover up your breasts and you backed into a corner trying to hide from whoever just came in. until they spoke you had no idea who it was.

loud footsteps inched closer and closer to your hiding spot before finally, "uhh y/n you left your water bottle on the leg press i thought i'd- whoa where are your clothes?" he said once he'd seen you.

"holy shit nicholas, what if this whole room was filled with naked ladies!" you annoyingly remarked to him. "then i guess i'd have a much harder time keeping my eyes on just you... right?" he giggled back. "and besides, it's 10pm on a saturday. no ones fucking here except teenage boys in pajamas and lonely old men going through a mid life crisis."

you rolled your eyes in response. "i've worked with people here for years. you think i don't understand how this shit works... c'mon baby."

"i thought i'd give it back because you're so thirsty. but it appears theres nothing in here anymore. right?" you shook your head and snatched the bottle out of his hands.

nicholas turned his back and walked toward the bench across from you. once he sat he began to stare at the parts of your body the towel hadn't covered, which was pretty much everywhere since you'd done such a shoddy job covering as much as you needed to, due to the unusual positioning of the towel on your tits. "stop staring freak..." you whispered to yourself while staring back at him.

"i can't help it you're just so fucking sexy... sorry if that was out of line. but what i want to say is 10 times worse." he whispered while getting up and inching closer to you. "then say it, i can handle it... i'm a big girl." you snarkily replied while looking up at him.

by the time he'd started his next sentence he'd been towering over you and lightly stroking your arm. "i've jerked off to the thought of this moment more times than i've ever watched that internet bitch and wished it was you." your breath hitched and heart beat quickened at his sexually vulgar words.

you began backing up until your back hit the wall. "we're in a gym for fucks sake." he chuckled

"what... you scared to get caught, bitch?" he whispered. his intense eyes stared at yours, it felt like a knife to the heart. his piercing gaze left you feeling extremely horny. a feeling you'd never felt for nicholas... ever!

"no i'm not scared... it's just not the right place." you said trying to push further into the wall, practically praying a hole opened up and swallowed you.

"so then you must be a virgin... a really horny virgin. you ever play with your pussy and think of me?" he said while raising his hand up and over your head so

"no" you quickly replied.

"well that's okay, because by tomorrow you're gonna want to." he whispered in your ear.

he ripped the towel you closely held to your chest and threw it behind him onto the ground. your breasts lightly jumped with his quick movement. and your erect nipples stuck up into the air as the cool air hit them.

he brought his thick long pointer finger up to your temple and slowly rubbed it.

the water droplets on your forehead dripped down onto the floor as he lightly stroked your face. "how about this. you suck my cock until i cum in your mouth. then i make you cum so hard you can't feel your legs."

you slowly nodded, his hand traveled from your cheek to the back of your head. he slowly scratched the back of your head as he pushed you down onto your knees. his gray sweatpants were beginning to bulge out of place with his erection. you stared at his slowly growing member in his pants.

"fuck are you waiting for, go ahead and do it already." you pulled down his waistband and calvin klein underwear in one swift movement, placing it under his balls and watching as his cock bounced out and hit just above his belly button.

slowly you placed your hand on the base of his cock. stroking up and down his shaft, causing him to slowly exhale as your small hand rubbed up and down his length. he smiled as you licked the thick and prominent veins on his dick and practically made out with his pink and leaky tip.

his big hand rubbed the back of your head and pushed you down onto his cock, making you gag with the movement. but shortly he allowed you to slowly suck up and down. you teased him as you lightly sucked and hardly moved, making him groan and whimper.

then his hand came grasping your head as hard as possible before he pushed your head up and down his length at a medium tempo. causing him to groan even louder and grip even harder. his thick cock shoved into your throat at once made you choke and breathe heavy. your spit trickled down your chin and onto the brown tile floor of the locker room.

he pulled his length out from your mouth and placed it on your check, allowing you to feel the throbbing on your skin.

a string of saliva from your mouth to the tip of his cock stayed put as he slapped his cock all over your left cheek, leaving them wet from your saliva and his pre-cum.

you looked at his cock, leaky, red, throbbing, and huge where the only things in your mind at the moment. his once light pink tip was a flashy lighter red and his balls were hardened.

he placed his cock back into your mouth. this time both hands on either side of your head and he slowly began to thrust his cock back and forth into your mouth. your eyes lightly watered as you looked up at him.

he paused for a second before talking. "baby, i need you to take my cock. because i wanna cum so bad. can you do that f'me?" he asked. you fluttered your eyes as a response and he smiled down at you.

he began again. this time he pace quickened and his breathing got faster. his cock slammed into the back of your throat causing you to gag and whimper on it. your hands wandered to his lower back as support. as he fucked your throat harder and harder your choking became louder and louder which only made him hornier.

then he pulled his cock out of your mouth. "you nasty little slut, i wanna cum inside that pussy. not that mouth. get the fuck up on that bench so i can rail you how i want." he whispered to you, causing your pussy to become an even wetter mess than before.

you headed to his instruction and got on the bench, bending over it so that he could get a nice view of your ass. "nick, i don't think a bench is the right place, what if it hurts?" you questioned.

"then you fucking ignore it, you shouldn't be thinking about anything but my cock getting all the cream out of that cunt."

you nodded in response.

he hovered behind you and rubbed your ass. his hands spanked you and his nails dug into your soft skin. he groaned at the sight of you flinching under his heavy touch.

slowly, he placed his finger inside of your tight asshole. he pumped it in and out causing you to gasp at the new sensation and got your pussy even wetter. his long thick finger slightly stretched out your virgin asshole.

as your body left a white ring of cream around the base of his finger he groaned and praised you. "good fucking god baby, just how daddy likes it. nice and creamy... good girl."

he pulled his finger out of you and aligned his cock with your dripping cunt. he quickly slid his length into your pussy causing your eyes to cross and back to arch at the feeling.

"yes daddy, mhm fuck me." his length hit your g-spot perfectly, making you squirm around and groan. the way it curved just right made your legs shake and head spin.

when his cock hit deep inside of you it scratched your cervix and caused you to flinch as he thrusted quickly into you. the grip of your pussy around his cock made him whimper and gasp.

"you are such a bad girl baby, such a bad little slut, such a dirty little whore." his way of degrading you rocketed you closer and closer to your orgasm.

his fingernails gripped into your ass even harder and made you flinch, although he told you to ignore the pain, it was all too much. "nick... fuck that hurts, stop!" his nails slowly pulled out of the supple skin on your backside, leaving you relieved from the pain. then he spanked you.

"shut the fuck up you slut. if you can't take a little pain you can't take daddy's fucking cock... isn't that right? you can't take my cock? is it too big for this little virgin pussy?" he taunted.

"no daddy it's not." you disregarded the fact he continuously referred to you as a virgin, even though you hadn't been for years.

his cock felt like a punch in the cervix with how deep and fast he was going. "mhm daddy yes." you moaned out, even though it'd been causing you pain you couldn't help but moan; it felt so good.

his movements quickened and his hips hit against your causing your ass and his lower stomach to turn red from the friction, your breath hitched and his whimpers and groans grew louder and louder.

"fuck yea, im gonna cum inside of you baby... you want that? you wanna be a little cum slut?" although you wanted to answer you know it was a rhetorical question. no matter your answer he was still planning on ejaculating inside of your glistening, needy, wet, tight cunt.

his fingernails dug deeper causing you to squeal and convulse and you got closer to your long awaited orgasm.

then his cum came out in hot heavy spurts inside of your pussy, all over your back, and on the floors. the feeling of his warm seed filling you up forced you to cum just seconds later. the way your pussy contracted afterward pushed almost all of his hot sticky juices to come gushing out of you like a waterfall.

༄𓇼🪩𓇼༄𓇼🪩𓇼༄

he sat down next to you, out of breath and practically still at his climax as little beads of his semen dripped out of his tip causing him to whimper and sigh as it all came out.

"fuck this happens everytime. i cum so much that when i think im done i still gotta jerk some of it out." he joked, he brought his hand to his now half erect penis and stroked it a few times more before more spurts of cum flew out.

"shit i gotta clean that up..." he chuckled to himself

you smiled and sat down next to him. "that was kinda fun..." you whispered in his ear. "that was really fun." he counteracted. "then maybe we should do it again. but next time at my house." you suggested.

he smiled and nodded.

"well thanks nick, now i'm gonna be walking side to side." you joked to ease the tension that was still there.

"i'm sorry it just felt too good." he responded.

after a light silence you finally added. "well after we clean this up, i guess i'll see you in 3 days."

he chuckled and began cleaning up the mess you two had made.

also i was too lazy to proofread soooo mb :o

[petermorwood]

I have a sword question, if I may. Or more of a sword confusion Im seeking clarification on.

In my mind a fantasy european standard sword (that obviously doesnt really exist, but like, when a knight or someone in a story has an unspecified sword), I always imaged a straight blade with a triangular tip, both edges sharp cutting edges.

Then at some point I learned about eg scimitars that have a cutting edge and a ...blunt edge?

I was looking at your recent addition to the post about the Turkish sword, where you distinguish between an inner cutting edge on a sword v an outer cutting edge.

And then Im thinking of those enormous zweihander types that are all about momentum and do those even need a particularly sharp edge? They seem in dnd parlance to be a bludgeoning weapon not for slashing.

And while Im asking, like. Rapiers are very stabby weapons, do they have sharp edges at all or judt a sharp point?

I guess my overall question culminates something like "what parts of swords are designed for what damage and why? Is there anything all swords have other than blade and handle like can they all be used for stabbing or do some have very blunt points etc? Is it a big deal for a sword to be double-edged, does that necessitate specific training? Whats up with different sword blades?"

I realise thats a pretty enormous question that might be unreasonable to ask. Im happy with whstever response you are or arent willing to give. Hope you have a good day :)

Sharp edge / blunt edge is the setup on any kitchen or table knife you've ever encountered, and being able to put a hand on the blunt "edge" - usually called the back of the blade - not only helps when mincing herbs or garlic, but also features in some techniques of swordplay.

Other techniques employed non-blade parts of the weapon, using the pommel like a mace and the crossguard like a pick-axe.

*****

Whether swords should be straight or curved, single- or double-edged, was an argument which continued as recently as the early 1900s.

The last swords issued to cavalry for combat use (modern parade swords don't count) were both remarkably similar designs, straight-bladed for thrusting, adopted by the UK in 1908...

...and the US in 1913.

There was, of course, strong opposition from those who insisted cavalry swords should be sabres curve-bladed for cutting instead.

Equally of course, both sides failed to notice - or ignored, since a certain kind of cavalry officer was only bright as regards boots, buckles and buttons - the uncomfortable fact that machine-guns and repeating rifles had made the whole ta-ran-ta-rah "cut them down with your swords, men!" cavalry charge an exercise in futility.

*****

D&D, unless they've considerably upped their accuracy game, isn't much of a reference for weapon realism.

"Enormous Zweihanders" and other big swords such as the Montante were a lot lighter and more nimble than they'd seem from reading an encumbrance chart.

They had their own techniques to take best advantage of length, leverage and momentum and were indeed sharp. Given a choice between a sharp combat weapon and a blunt one, sharp makes far more sense.

In addition, a sharp blade is lighter than a blunt one simply through having less metal. It may only be a few grams of difference, but it IS a difference.

That's also the reason behind a fuller, the groove(s) along a blade.

They're not "blood gutters", tough and cool though that may sound, but a way to reduce a sword's weight while preventing its blade from getting excessively flexible.

Finally...

The re-enactor is wearing half-armour, but these big swords were also meant for use against unarmoured opponents. Bodyguards often carried them (they looked impressive) and those sweeping strokes could block an entire street while The Boss got away.

That's when an ability to cut rather than merely bludgeon makes all the difference. Determined assassins might try to rush a blunt sword, but a sharp one would give anyone second thoughts...

*****

Double-edged swords versus single-edged ones seem to vary depending on cultural preference - also on period of history and intended function.

Bronze Age European swords had straight or leaf-shaped blades with double edges...

...while Ancient Egypt had the curved, single-edged khopesh, a shape which also turned up in Ancient Assyria (this one's in the Metropolitan Museum, New York USA).

It's listed as a "sickle sword", an incorrect term which I wish would go away because sickles are sharp on the inside of the curve while swords like this - their grip-shape shows how they're meant to be held and swung - are sharp on the outside.

And just when "the Ancient Middle East used curved single-edge swords" looks like a handy generalisation, along come straight swords, one from Ancient Egypt...

...another from Luristan, now part of modern Iran.

This next one comes from Ancient Iberia (Spain), right at the other side of the Mediterranean. Evidence of trading links? Your guess is as good as mine.

Iberia went on to use the falcata, a short single-edged forward-curved sword.

Those extra bits round the blade are scabbard metalwork; the wood and leather scabbard is long gone. This repro shows how they would have looked when in place.

Iberia also used a straight double-edged sword which so impressed the Romans that they adopted it, refined it and used it for several centuries. Here's one of the several Roman versions of that gladius Hispaniensis (Spanish sword), double-edged, mostly meant for stabbing but capable of very effective cuts as well.

Here's my repro of a similar sword, the elegant "Mainz" pattern with its long point and waisted blade. Very pretty, and pretty wicked.

*****

"Curved single-edged swords are Eastern, straight double-edged swords are Western", is another generalisation that won't work.

Here are Eastern straight swords...

...and Western curved ones.

*****

Viking swords were all double-edged...

...except when they weren't.

*****

Many rapiers could cut. Smallswords, which came later, couldn't.

Earlier rapiers with broader blades cut better than later ones with narrow blades, but IIRC even the later Italian and Spanish rapier styles include cuts directed at the opponent's face and sword-arm.

I have a notion that the modern thing about cutting with rapiers is based (like back-carry) on seeing it done in movies. IMO - more about it here - that's actually more a modern stage-combat safety thing than a period real-combat move. A fumbled cut is bruising and unpleasant even with a "safe" prop sword, but a fumbled thrust into the eye-socket or throat with that same "safe" sword can be fatal.

Even those early rapiers wouldn't sever a head or limb - a finger maybe, hence the elaborate hand-protection of swept and cup hilts - but blood from a forehead wound running into the eyes was, and in boxing still is, an efficient way to finish a fight by ensuring the opponent can't continue. One of the duels in "The Duellists" ends this way.

This example is a bit optimistic, IMO...

...but a longsword (double-edged)...

...or a messer (single-edged)...

...was quite capable of disarming an opponent in a very literal way.

*****

Some swords had minimal points, being intended mostly for cutting. One example of this is the Indian khanda broadsword. The second example is also very clearly single-edged.

Another cut-only sword without a point (but with double edges) is the Richtschwert (justice sword)...

...though this was a single-function (and hopefully single-cut) tool rather than weapon, neither balanced for nor intended for combat.

Hope this has helped answer the questions!

[bluegarners]

getting a tiny bit tired of the adamancy of the new fanony-but-think-its-canon take of dick being the absolutely rage filled robin. like yes, kind of? he was 9, his whole world just ended before his eyes, and his only way to process was through grief and anger bc nobody was taking a child seriously. additionally, the only person who wanted to help him at that time was also a man who was filled with a similar grief and anger and had learned to channel it in a violent way. of course dick grayson as robin resembled something as "angry" or "rage-filled" but that wasn't him too?? like, how to explain it...

the reversal of the fanon trope of dick being the "sunshiny" robin into someone angry and violent and out for blood is not the helpful shift many people think it is when trying to understand dick grayson as a character as a child. so much of fandom is turning characters very flat and not allowing them to experience two things at the same time or in fluctuating variances. which is. counterintuitive when trying to construct a cognitive map about them. having linear lines drawn for a character and keeping them in direct parallel to others, never letting them cross or intermingle, does the opposite of deepening understanding and depth of character.

what a lot of the "hot takes" i see about this very pivotal moment in dick's life focus on the rage as a very ongoing thing. i myself have touched on it a few times in metas and fics, and although i do believe dick's relationship with anger and how he responds to it is important to understanding his character, i do not believe it is a core aspect of it. yes, dick was angry as robin. he was angry bc his parents were taken from him in a very violent way for something that dick had very little understanding of. these are things that are obviously understandable to be angry about. heck, anger would not begin to describe the kind of feeling at having everything you've ever known be stripped away from you by something you had no part in or control over

but anger is not who dick grayson's robin was. his entire character is centered around hope and kindness and giving second chances. his character is about forgiveness and so many people brush over that part when laser focusing on his anger over the man that killed his family. one of the first things dick did as robin was go after and beat his parents' murderer, but he also stopped. he didn't beat that man to the point of killing him and he didn't go after him again once the man was put in prison. that may not seem like such a monumental thing but dick grayson forgave the man who took everything away from him in that simple action of stopping

by pulling him away from his anger, bruce gave dick a second chance at a life beyond that. and in return, dick never forgot that lesson and actively worked on and added to it. he became better because of his anger by practicing kindness, exercising restraint, and learning from his mistakes when things went too far

dick grayson as robin is more than just the violent night he cemented himself as a vigilante by catching his first murderer. his robin is about moving past it and being a symbol of hope for others who are lost in similar ways, showing them that there is a path beyond the grief and rage. that there is hope and light at the end of the long tunnel and it's okay if a little guidance is needed along the way to get there

[shigayokagayama]

obviously this isnt about people headcanoning mob as having DID/OSDD because god knows representation for neurodivergencies that arent anxiety, depression, or the movie version of ptsd are lacking in media and being able to project aspects of yourself that you see in characters is really fun (god knows i love ocd blasting characters i relate to) but people treating mob and shigeo as two totally separate characters with two separate personalities is sorta starting to feel like it's missing the entire point of the confession arc.

like, "mob" is not the version of mob who does good things and "shigeo" is not the version of him who does scary evil things and hates everyone mob loves for no reason. theyre the same person. the conversation between them in the confession arc isnt a literal conversation taking place, it's a representations of his two desires which he has convinced himself are irreconcilable. "mob" represents his desire to keep his relationships with his loved ones- which he has convinced himself comes at the cost of repressing every aspect of his true self- and "shigeo" represents his desire to live freely and express himself as he wishes- which he has convinced himself means pushing everyone but tsubomi away before they reject him because he is absolutely certain that she is the only person in the world who will accept and love him for who he truly is. the friends he fights- teru, the body improvement club, reigen- are all people he's convinced only like the fake him and would hate the real him, and now they're trying to get in the way of the only thing he can even remember wanting because of how long he's squashed down and hidden away his own desires for other people's convenience.

if your friends, if the people you trusted, said this to you the first time you were exercising your own free will for the first time in years, wouldnt you snap a little too?

[richiehugs]

Chris

An old friend of a friend.

Chris is your average 5'11 / 180cm Middle European guy with a remarried mom and a rich father. He used to spend his summers with friends and family in exotic places, or at some local beach.

He was a skinny boy in the early 2010's when he had just turned 18. He was a sporty guy, playing football and doing karate, and of course, he liked to party.

After his graduation, he got a job at an airfield as a security guard, and let's say, it wasn't as active as he might have expected.

Because he started piling on the kilos. He was exercising less, but still going out with his friends and traveling with his family and his girlfriend. He was enjoying life, but life had some unexpected turns for him. He was becoming less and less active on social media, he wouldn't post anything shirtless anymore. He wouldn't take his shirt off anymore even around friends. He knew he got chubby, and he was feeling embarrassed (though it wouldn't stop his beer-bellied friends to mock him - what are friends for, right?).

But then, in 2017, he met a girl at his workplace. The circumstances of the end of his previous relationship are unknown to me. But he was starting to look happier. And rounder.

He must have passed 100 kilos around 2018 - and 110 around 2019. His girlfriend was obviously pampering him, living at his parents house, they didn't have to worry about the slightest thing. Only his weight and his figure. His clothes were dangerously tight, showing every curve of his swollen body.

So he married her. He became a father. And then the pandemic happened.

For anyone he knew from before, he got unrecognizable. From 2020 to 2023, he must have been bounced further up to 120, or even 125 kilo / 280 pounds. His double chin was covering his entire neck. His moobs were resting on his belly, which formed a round ball under his shirt. Sucking it in wouldn't help anymore.

Due to the pandemic, he had to leave his job as airports for closed. He started a job at IKEA as a sales manager. Must have been the stress and the IKEA food that turned even him to a meatball.

But sadly, before turning into Nikocado, another turning point - his wife left him. The reason is again, unknown, but my bet would be his ex gf.

His ex was starting to spend more time with him, and boom, they made up. The girl had become a fitness coach - some sort of freak running marathons and such. Well, Chris has never run a marathon - but he has tried running before.

He started off 2023 with 120+ kilos, beautiful, obese, an aspiring superchub, growing uncontrollably 20 pounds a year - by the end he must have dropped around 20 kilos. So at around 100 kg / 220 lbs, he remains thick, he still has a dadbod, but sadly his best days have faded away. His ex, the old-new gf changed him, his lifestyle, his perfect shape, but he is happy.

This was the story of Chris, a friend of a friend. From 75 kilos to 125 kilos - and then back to 100. The pictures are from 2011 (18yo) to 2023 (30yo).

Not an influencer. Not sharing any names or socials. Please, don't reuse any of the pictures.

[safetycar-restart]

had some random lando thoughts today so enjoy my brain dump in your ask box

imagine lando coming back from traveling with you all winter break and having to start his training sessions back up before pre-season testing. you aren’t allowed to come (because bullshit mclaren rules or something) so he has to go alone.

and poor baby is so sad. it’s only an hour or two out of his day but he’s seen you pretty much 24/7 the last three months so obviously this will not do. so the obvious solution is to make jon’s life hell. lando pretty much just pouts and whines the entire training session, refusing to do pretty much any exercise. so jon pretty quickly says fuck the rules and tells you to come next time so maybe they can get something done.

and poor, poor jon. with you there, lando is perfectly happy to do his exercises. except he needs a forehead kiss and to be told what a good boy he is between every set. so now workouts take twice the time because he refuses to move on to the next thing before he’s gotten what he deems an adequate amount of praise

he also only wants to you change his weight or tell him how many sets/reps he has left. so after a few days of this nonsense jon just hands you the notebook with his program for the day written on it and lets you guide lando through while he supervises

just gremlin lando and his need to be coddled and praised constantly. it’s a good thing jon loves him, otherwise he’d have killed him

-🐈‍⬛

Pls spoilt subby Lando is my favourite Lando, it just suits him so well.

It’s a well known fact that Lando is a high maintenance dramatic little shit who requires plenty of attention and hugs and kisses and will pout dramatically and give you the silent treatment at the most minor of inconveniences.

Lando was absolutely thriving during the break. He got to be as needy and demanding as he wanted to be, got to be with you the entire time and was so so happy and felt so good.

So when he goes back to training and you aren’t there? Oh no.

John knows the moment Lando walks through the door that this is gonna be tough. He can tell already that Lando is entering annoyed and upset and he knows there’s no way that mood will change during the session.

So yeah John gives up and asks you to come the next session between if he has to deal with a pouty Lando one more time, one of them is gonna end up in the ER.

Lando is, of course, in an absolutely wonderful mood when you come with him the next time and he’s on his best behaviour. Which also drives John insane because now he sounds like a mad man complaining about how difficult Lando was last time.

But yes absolutely Lando would like a forehead kiss after every set and at some point John just writes it all down and leaves because he knows this will get done quicker if you did it alone.

In conclusion, that little shit is lucky he’s cute.

[denimbex1986]

'UPDATE, 11:44 am PST: Christopher Nolan confirmed before the beginning of the “Oppenheimer” screening that the cast has left in solidarity with the SAG-AFTRA strike.

PREVIOUSLY: Matt Damon has revealed that the “Oppenheimer” cast talked about their strike strategy before hitting the movie’s red carpet premiere in London on Thursday.

“We talked about it,” Damon told Variety on the carpet. “Look, if it’s called now, everyone’s going to walk obviously in solidarity … Once the strike is officially called, [we’re walking]. That’s why we moved this [red carpet] up because we know the second it’s called, we’re going home.”

Damon added: “We gave the strike authorization. We voted 98% to 2% to do that because we know our leadership has our best interest at heart.”

“It’s really about working actors,” he continued. “It’s $26,000 to qualify for health coverage and a lot of people are on the margins and residual payments are getting them across that threshold. This isn’t an academic exercise. This is real life and death stuff. Hopefully we get to a resolution quickly. No one wants a work stoppage, but we’ve got to get a fair deal.”

The London carpet for Christopher Nolan’s atomic bomb thriller kicked off just before 5 p.m. local time, with a lot of nervous publicists and marketing executives looking anxiously at their phones and watches. In the event of an early strike, sources told Variety that the entire cast planned to discreetly exit the carpet in Leicester Square.

Emily Blunt told Variety: “Obviously we stand we all of the actors and at whatever point it’s called, we’re going to be going home and standing together through it because I want everyone to get a fair deal.”

Asked whether she’ll be joining the picket line herself, the British star quipped, “Oh, I think so!” before being rushed down the line by her publicist.

Kenneth Branagh, who plays physicist Niels Bohr in the film, also spoke to Variety about his feelings on the strike.

“There are a lot of people here we did not want to disappoint, but we’re also in complete solidarity with our colleagues and what they’re doing,” he said. “I know they’ve worked diligently to achieve an agreement which is happening at a critical point in our industry. It’s important that we’re ready to be shoulder-to-shoulder with them as the situation develops.”

Nolan also spoke to Variety on the carpet about the film’s runtime.

“The runtime is two minutes shorter than ‘Avengers: Endgame,’ so we cling to that,” he said. “I said to (producer) Emma Thomas very early on that it’s going to be a three-hour film. I have to write a script that reflects that. That was our conversation with the studio. It’s a big story and needs a big talent. It’s a 180-page script and it’s a $180 million movie.”

The cast worked the carpet for the better part of an hour before wrapping around 6 p.m. for group photos. Rami Malek, who was stuck in traffic heading over to central London from a shoot, missed the red carpet entirely, but arrived at the 11th hour and hurried onto the carpet for photos...'

[headcanonenthusiast]

Alex Keller x chubby reader headcanons

Guess who's back with a 3rd Alex post in 3 days? These headcanons will be entirely SFW, focusing on a chubbier, gender-neutral reader, because Lord do we need more headcanons on this man, especially with chubby readers 🥲

Just a quick reminder that y'all are beautiful, no matter your weight 💙

Enjoy! 

-Ik I mentioned this in my NSFW Alex headcanons, but that one (obviously) was more sexual. But, he will still force you in front of a mirror, even in a non-sexual context, arms hugging you from behind while he whispers in your ear about how beautiful/handsome you are. 

-His fingers trail on each and every stretch-mark, observing them with pure delight. 

-And if you dare to complain about them, he's shutting that right down. 

-"What do you mean you don't like 'em? They make you look like a tiger, and everyone loves tigers." 

-"Yeah, but tigers aren't chubby." 

-"They can be. And when they are, they're extra cute." 

-Probably proceeds to show you this pic as well

-Your belly has become his personal pillow. 

-Its also almost like a stress ball to him, too. He'll softly knead at it like dough when y'all are cuddling, pressing kisses to the skin and tickling you with his facial hair. 

-When he gets home from a particularly long deployment, all he wants to do is just bury his face in your belly and forget about life for a while. 

-Will also ask for pictures of your tummy while he's away. Tells you how much he can't wait to come home and cuddle with you. 

-"That belly is the perfect pillow for me, baby. Can't wait to get home and fall asleep on you ❤"

-Absolutely doesn't take anyone shaming you for your body. He probably gets more pissed than you do, but he isn't super confrontational. As much as he'd like to knock the person out, he doesn't, and just leads you away instead.

-If those harsh words get to you, he'll drag you back to the mirror and gently ask you to tell him the specific things you don't like about your body. Then, he'll caress and compliment whatever you point out.

-"What do you mean your thighs are too big? They're literally the softest things in the world. You're nothing short of a warm, cozy pillow, baby. My pillow." 

-Also has an obsession with your thighs. Please let him kiss and squeeze them, he'll probably never be happy again if you don't. 

-Can't stop touching your stomach. He's also obsessed with that. 

-He'll make you feel like the most beautiful/handsome person in the world just with his words, which are always sincere.

-"Hope you know that you've got the best smile, baby doll." 

-If you're at a stage in your life where you actually want to lose weight, he hopes you do it for yourself and noone else.

-Always reassures you that he'll love you no matter what you look like. 

-"I don't care what you look like, baby. You'll look amazing no matter what you do." 

-Will actually help you work-out if you wanna try it. Always there to encourage you and honestly just sees it as more time spent with his wonderful partner.

-Also, he'll only be wearing a thin white shirt and gray shorts while exercising. Do with that what you will 🤭

-Goes clothes shopping with you a lot. 

-If you find clothes that you really like but they don't fit, he'll rub your shoulder comfortingly while searching the racks for another size.

-And if the store barely has anything that fits you? He's fuming about it on the way home and then tries to see if he can get you something customized to fit you. 

-Enjoys bathing with you just so he has an excuse to touch at and clean your body. Rubs soap all over your tummy and makes sure it's all nice and clean so he can fall asleep on it later. 

-Picks you up constantly and grins when it makes you giggle. 

-Once when you were especially sleepy and he made breakfast, he simply just scooped you up, carried you to the dining table and grabbed you a plate. You were definitely 100% awake after that. 

-His lap is always avaliable for you to sit on. 

-Sometimes pouts when you don't sit on it and looks at you with the saddest eyes until you do. 

-"Aw, is my lap not comfy enough for you, dolly?" 

-And if you insist you'll crush him, he looks at you like you have 5 heads. 

-"Thats the craziest thing I've ever heard. Come on, love. Get your pretty/handsome ass over here."

-Pats his thigh when he wants you on his lap, too. His arms immediately wrap around you when you sit on him, giving you a hug so tight it takes your breath away for a sec. 

-Never allows a negative word about yourself fall from your mouth.

-"Don't say that, baby. It's not true. Not at all." 

-"I wish it wasn't so hard for you to see yourself from my perspective. You're amazing, sweetheart. Always have been and always will be." 

-Would absolutely be a wonderful partner overall, no matter your body type or background. Alex genuinely couldn't care less about what you looked like, and would totally throw compliments at you so much you'd get flustered. 

Let's gooo another one done! I'm sure y'all can probably tell that I'm chubbier myself, and as such I'm here to provide for my fellow chubby readers out there with content on this wonderful man 🙏

Feel free to leave requests on who I should do next!

[suzukiblu]

Day two NaNoWriMo; obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.

"Well, you are the plan guy," Kon says, grinning again and pushing his sunglasses up into his hair. "Supreme?" 

"Works for me," Tim says. It's meat and dairy and bread and vegetables and Kon is probably invulnerable to heart disease, so he figures that's basically health food to him, right? Especially if he needs more calories than the average guy. 

Pizza's sure as shit gonna be more satisfying than a protein bar, if nothing else. 

Tim's definitely ordering like, breadsticks or wings or something too. And maybe a two-liter or two. Cinnamon bread. Something. Hell, he'll buy all that and then some if he has to. He's got the money. 

Who the hell decided it was okay to let this happen? Really. Is there literally no responsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation? Dubbilex was made by Cadmus too and has his own issues with managing to have an out-of-lab life, Rex Leech is apparently out of the picture, which might be a blessing anyway, Tana Moon is equally MIA, and Superman has apparently lost his entire damn mind, so . . .

There's literally no responsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation, is there. There's no irresponsible adult in Kon's life to intervene in this situation. As far as Tim knows, every single other one Kon knows is either Cadmus-employed or a supervillain or just completely uninvested in his existence. 

Maybe Tim should be talking to Red Tornado about this. Is this something he should be talking to Red Tornado about?

. . . sure, that'd help. Red Tornado is about five minutes back into being a person and has Traya and Kathy and the whole team to worry about, and absolutely could handle something like this while also trying to figure out his own shit and keep an eye on all the rest of them too. Sure. That'd work. 

This is a problem, Tim thinks. 

This is a definite problem, in fact. 

He has no idea what to do about this problem, though, so he just orders a truly inadvisable amount of pizza and wings and double-iced cinnamon bread for pickup. They've done weirder than get takeout in the Super-Cycle and they'll do weirder again. Besides, it could use the . . . exercise, or whatever that counts as. Not like the Super-Cycle has muscles, but it does get tired sometimes and seem to appreciate getting out and–well, whatever. That's just something to figure out later, probably. 

Tim really should figure that out, though. And also if the Super-Cycle is gonna be down for going supervillain, because yeah, that's obviously a thing to keep in mind. 

He flies it to the pizza joint, and spends the flight casually grilling Kon about his coworkers and employee benefits and the Cadmus security systems. The answers are: a lot of lab-born clones and too many grown-ass adults who have no excuse not to know better, work-related health care and nothing else, and Kon and Guardian, mostly. And also some random weird death traps and a couple of cameras here and there, apparently, but it all sounds incredibly dated to Tim's ears and it really seems like Kon and Guardian are taking on the lion's share of everything more complicated than watching a feed or flipping on an alarm system. Like, it really does. 

So that's not great. 

"Jesus, man, how much did you order?" Kon snorts with a laugh while Tim's paying the girl at the drive-up window in cash. He doesn't really want to explain this particular expense on the Bat credit card. Generally he doesn't want to explain takeout and junk food on there at all, in fact, though obviously he makes a point of going to Batburger with Steph once a month, just to hear Bruce sigh about it later. Appropriate teenage nonsense and all. He gets the kids' meal and the terrifyingly purple Spoiler shake every time. It tastes like acidic cotton candy. Yes, literally. "Like just the whole menu or what?" 

"Of course I did. I've got a Kryptonian to carry it all for me, don't I?" Tim replies with a smirk he doesn't really feel after everything he's learned today. Everything Kon just told him, because he doesn't see what's wrong with any of it. 

It reminds him of the abused kids he meets on the job who insist they're fine, and they don't need Batman and Robin to save them. 

He wonders if Jason was like that, when Bruce first met him. 

He also wonders if he maybe did over-order a little on the pizza, but worst case scenario the leftovers should fit in the fridge. 

. . . maybe, anyway. Probably. 

Mostly? 

Kon immediately cracks into the cinnamon bread on the flight back because he has absolutely no manners whatsoever, and Tim rolls his eyes at him and tries not to visibly brood over the five-alarm fire burning down his brain right now. 

He just . . . doesn't understand how Superman is apparently just fine with this situation. He doesn't even understand how Kon is fine with this situation, but is increasingly certain that the answer to that might just be that Kon doesn't think he has another option. 

He doesn't have another option, as far as Tim can tell. What would he do, crash at the base and just mooch off everyone else for food and gear and whatever else he needs day-to-day? 

Yeah, not exactly a sustainable lifestyle, that. 

Not even a little bit of one. 

Technically, Tim could just pay for whatever Kon needed, between his allowance and his trust fund and without even taking his Bat-stipend into account, but there is no possible way Kon would ever actually go for that. He's way too proud, and even someone with no pride at all would probably find "please let me pay you to quit your horrible job" a hard pill to swallow from a teammate, much less the leader they only barely recognize the authority of.

[machiroads]

Fic Writer Interview

Thank u @plusultraetc for the tag wheeeeee

How many works do you have on AO3?

8️⃣

What's your total AO3 word count?

251,850, 150k of which is one fic lmao

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Nine Lives, by an order of magnitude over 2nd place

Naruhata Noir

A Tumultuous Sea, You and Me (the mer-pirates fic)

Being No One, Going Nowhere (the 2 broken arms fic)

waiting on the seasons to change, waiting for the curtain to fall (the fortuneteller fic)

I am surprised to see the 2 broken arms fic in the top 5 tbh!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I like to get responses to my own comments, so I try to reply to everyone's comments :]

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhhhh PROBABLY 9L since it ends with everyone going off to war haha oopsie

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

Uhhhhhh probably merpirates? It's really gross and sappy. Dive into the ocean and kiss a mermaid in front of your entire crew. The 2 broken arms fic also got a pretty happy ending (Aizawa goes to bed and also maybe jerks it a little)

Do you write crossovers?

Not crossovers per se but I do enjoy a deep in the weeds AU

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? The worst I get is people saying "wow almost no typos" which is very tame lmao

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not yet! Kintsugi (the epilogue to 9L) will have some mild spice but I'm at a point in my life where I just couldn't be jazzed to write folks doing it sloppy style

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so except for that website that's scraped like a ton of fics a few months back

Have you ever had a fic translated?

I had one person request to translate 9L into Ukranian, though I never saw if they ended up doing it. Recently I've also had a couple people leave comments in Spanish so I assume they translated the story into Spanish somehow!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The unpublished FFXII AU is partially co-written by Robbirdthe8th, but it's been parked for like a year and a half. Also I would be remiss to omit @kyurilin who might as well get bonus credits for the Nutstang

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I have been in fandom spaces for over a decade YOU CAN'T JUST MAKE ME CHOOSE A SINGLE ALL-TIME FAVORITE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. Perhaps a low-commitment list of OTPs from across the years:

Erasermic (obviously)

Edwin (FMA)

Netteflix (FE3H)

Asanoya (HQ!!)

Kanej (6 of Crows)

Yuchi (FB)

Asucaga (MSGS)

Soukana (FMP)

Maiko (ATLA)

Hanvi (DB)

Nejiten (Naruto)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

Probably any of the Fire Emblem or Fruits Basket fics I started drafting in 2020/2021 before I figured out how to write fic lol

What are your writing strengths?

People tell me I am good at characterization! I think I'm also good at describing a setting, a skill that I exercise often in my technical writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Exposition, my nemesis. A necessary evil, but it's like pulling teeth, every time.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Short answer: I just. Don't.

Longer answer: I think there's a time and place for it, and I've seen both well-executed and clunky ways of doing it. I've never seen a need for it yet in anything I've written.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BNHA was the first fandom I published anything for, though honourable mention goes to Fruits Basket and FE3H for convincing me that I can tell my own stories (and then get stuck trying to figure out how to write fiction woops).

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Idk man I'm just vibing in my lane of erasermic et al right now

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Listen it's gotta be 9L. This fic is the reason I have made so many friends in this community. People have drawn fanart for it (one of which now lives permanently on my desk in the form of a mousepad, thank u Dragon). It is the story that got me into writing fic because it was a story that nobody else was telling, so I wrote the story that I wanted to read.

People still get to the endnotes on 9L and are like THIS IS YOUR FIRST FIC???? and yeah. I started writing fanfiction at the tender age of 28 and the first thing I decided was worth sharing is still my magnum opus. Anyone can write fic! Find a writer whose style you like, emulate it, and write the story you want to read. It's that simple.

[hacash]

so I have a lot of feelings about john irving

namely that his entire character seems to be typified by fandom as 'religious fundie homophobe' and nothing else. and although his entire thing of just paint and do climbing exercises and that'll distract you from being gay to hickey comes across as bigoted and hilariously tone-deaf to 21st century viewers, from the historical perspective of a 19th century officer it actually feels pretty dang lenient? considering what could have happened to a gay man at the period, not taking it any further than a private conversation telling hickey to concentrate on other things besides hooking up with his ship-mates is incredibly light. particularly when gibson had already painted hickey as a 'vile seducer', with all the disturbing connotations that has. telling hickey to just not do it again feels, for the time, very much a case of Fair For His Day.

and, like, obviously irving isn't perfect, and his scene where he yells at manson for believing in ghosts shows that he's clearly not in a position which encourages his better nature. but in a lot of his other scenes he's shown to be trying to be a decent guy: he gives silna food from the crew's limited rations when he doesn't need to, he's actively supportive of jopson's promotion, he exhibits none of the period-typical racism which even 'nicer' characters do and shows real reciprocal generosity to the netsilik people who give him food (that eyeglass was a nice piece of kit!).

I just think it misses the point of the terror's overall arc to paint him as this one-dimensional character, when the writing shows him to be another (yet another!) flawed, human guy who's trying hard to do the right thing in appalling circumstances - and, tragically, is killed too soon into his character development.

[charcubed]

Disneyland's Rogers: The Musical, propaganda that turns Steve Rogers into more myth than man, and revisionist history (possibly) to a purpose

Any of my thoughts in this post could just be me reading too far into things. I'm very aware of that, and please know that this post exists just because this sort of thing is fun for me! This is a thought exercise where we propose "What if we live in a world where the MCU is actually doing a cool and interesting thing as a longcon?" If you have anger at Marvel, that's valid and relatable, but please don't get angry at me or imply I'm an MCU stan who doesn't think critically about the mouse. Thanks!

Breaking news: I'm back on my bullshit!

A quick personal recap: I infamously hated Avengers: Endgame for a long list of reasons (and I even rewrote the movie). One of those reasons is that I've always taken issue with Steve's ending. But in the years since then, and as the MCU's phase 4 has evolved, my frustration at Steve's "ending" has turned into an ongoing and legitimate theory that the MCU could be slowly leading into a loosely adapted Secret Empire plot line. I know we've all been joking about Steve being trapped or about an imposter Steve since 2019, but uhhh, it's kind of not a joke to me anymore? It feels weirdly plausible at this point and so I enjoy discussing the potential.

You can find a full elaboration on that here, where I wrote out my "Steve was snatched by HYDRA" theory in 2021.

In that post, one of the things I mentioned at the time was Rogers: The Musical being in the Hawkeye trailer.

[The musical's] very existence is an example of how in-universe the stories of the lives of the heroes are being commodified, especially (in terms of how they’re framing it) for Steve’s. The heroes are no longer seen as people, if they ever were. They are, as Kate Bishop says to Clint in a recently released clip, more about “branding.” Sam Wilson will be redefining the shield moving forward in a Cap context, but simultaneously, the world is still enamored by Steve Rogers as a symbol in his own right. And that is ripe for manipulation as a Trojan horse to control public opinion… whether in the context of things like this by themselves (is the musical portraying Steve accurately, or is it painting an inaccurate picture of him the world accepts as fact?) or in future (is this propaganda that makes the public see Steve a certain way and continue to love him, to set up a fake or brainwashed Steve coming on the scene later?).

Now a form of the musical exists in full, at Disneyland and all over Youtube. Considering some of its baffling content – which I will break down below – this perspective seems even more strongly worth considering.

I have two main reasons for why I'm defending examining this musical so closely:

1. It is (arguably) an in-universe piece of media that has bearing on the MCU canon. It isn't like any other typical Disneyland attraction; its very existence is meta and it was in canon first. Obviously it's seen in Hawkeye, but there are also posters for it in several different phase 4 properties. It's lurking in the background indefinitely. So what can this musical tell us about what the wider public within the MCU is being told about the life story of Steve Rogers?

2. This Secret Empire graphic – which is animated in the center of the stage of a prolonged period of time – feels like a literal sign to pay attention.

Granted, this is obviously still ancillary material. 99% of the MCU audience will never see this musical, whether in person or on YouTube. But just because it isn't a vital piece doesn't mean it's automatically an entirely irrelevant piece.

They've given me an inch with that sign and I'm taking a mile.

So if you're interested, please join me on this journey :)

For the record, let me just say that I salute the creative team behind this show. It's pretty fun and the songs are catchy, the sets and costuming are cool, and the cast is overall very talented.

It's also fucking maddening. LMAO.

Why? Firstly, because of the seemingly deliberate ahistorical inaccuracies. We all know Ant-Man is wrongly shown in the Battle of New York, which originally "came from [the Hawkeye showrunner] and Marvel, as something to further aggravate Hawkeye as he watched the show, and also as a comment on how movies and articles and people always get something wrong." It seems like they expanded those meta nods, but most inaccuracies are now in service of glorifying Steve and Peggy's "love story." Yes, romance objectively makes for good theater; but again, I feel that this is worth examining considering the full context.

And secondly, Steve's ending is framed as an offer presented to him, convincing him it's the happy ending he deserves because he's tired. In my mind, these two big elements go together, and I'll walk you through the details of what happens in the musical before I tie the thought threads back around into some theorizing.

For your reference, here's a list of the main songs and story beats:

• "U-S-Opening Night" - the Starkettes (who are basically a Greek chorus) frame the show's story, and then it turns into an ensemble that loosely takes place at the Stark Expo. • "I Want You" – Steve's "I want" song about trying to enlist in the army. • "Star-Spangled Man With A Plan" – Steve performing on the USO tour obviously, and then there's a reprise with an added voiceover that (very briefly) covers the Howling Commandos' rescue + the war via comic book imagery. • "What You Missed" – Fury and the Starkettes tell Steve some pop culture things he missed while he was frozen, + they tell him about the Avengers. Then Fury goes down a list of other hero characters, including the Guardians? Doctor Strange? Wanda?? It plays loose and fast with time, because many non-2012 characters are bafflingly mentioned in this nonlinear Avengers list – including the Winter Soldier (???). • "Save the City" – this is the song seen in Hawkeye, with the civilians + the Avengers all involved, but it's slightly different here and expanded to also reference other battles. • "End of the Line" – Old Steve presents main Steve with the time stone as an opportunity for his happy ending, and they reflect on things together. (Yes, this is insane.) • "Just One Dance" – Steve and Peggy reunite and sing about their love. • And then there's basically a reprise of "Save the City," with the Starkettes and the whole cast closing the finale out.

Right out of the gate, let's address this: the main reason you're going to see some fans pissed about this musical is not only that Steve and Peggy's ~epic romance~ is made a pillar of the story... but also that Bucky's importance/involvement in Steve's life is minimized as much as possible.

And they took Bucky-related elements from canon and made them center more around Peggy instead.

• For some weird reason, Peggy is in the Stark Expo scene. When a soldier is hitting on the Starkettes ("hey sweetheart, I wanna dance!"), Steve tells the soldier to show the ladies some respect. The soldier grabs Steve and throws him down, and then Peggy swoops in to yell "Pick on someone your own size!" and punches the guy before walking away. So she's given Bucky's TFA line verbatim, and she is given the role he had of saving Steve from bullies. There is blatantly no reason they couldn't have had Bucky still serve that function and be truer to "history," because he briefly enters this scene in uniform less than a minute later to announce he's shipping out to the 107th – and then he spins off with a date on his arm. (We don't see Bucky on stage again until the full cast comes out for the finale!)

• After the Star-Spangled Man show, Peggy rushes in to talk to Steve. Steve is excited about his USO performance (???) but she urgently tells him to listen as she says that the 107th has been captured. Peggy apparently knows it's Bucky's division, and she knows Steve is going to go, so she tells him that she's already arranged transport for him. This is a subtle twist from the truth of how it went down in TFA, in which Steve recognized 107 as the number of Bucky's division, and his dogged determination inspired Peggy to relent and help his rescue mission. Here, Peggy is given a stronger role in the Cap origin story. And before Steve rushes off, Peggy sings a short untitled ballad hoping for their dance, so Steve pauses before he leaves to ask her to go on a date with her when he returns. • The most egregious Bucky-to-Peggy change of all is the song "End of the Line," in which the infamous Steve and Bucky line/promise (that broke Bucky's brainwashing...) is re-contextualized to be about ???? Peggy waiting for Steve in the past??? Old Man Steve and regular Steve sing it together. But we'll go back to that in a minute.

Again, I get it, yeah? It's for theater. Whatever. But in reality, the obvious logical truth is that Peggy is centered (to the point of taking elements from Bucky's story, and in turn Bucky is downplayed) because they needed to convince the audience that Steve going back in time to be with her makes sense. Steve's time travel ending had to be justified, so the Peggy and Steve "love story" had to be a pillar in this with everything else being given lesser weight.

And the inherent selfishness of him doing something as big as going back in time also had to be justified... which is why they do their best to convince you Steve fought so much he deserved it.

Let me elaborate on that by describing the lead-up to the "End of the Line" song.

So, right before "End of the Line" is "Save the City" – which includes Steve belting "I can do this all day!" repeatedly, of course. It's the 2012 Battle of New York as the Avengers come together to win.

As they begin to disperse, the song then transitions to a voiceover alert mentioning Sokovia being under attack by artificial intelligence (a.k.a. Age of Ultron). The Avengers group rushes back to center stage to say "Save the city! Help us win!" together for battle again.

And then things get fucking weird.

Because the next voiceover threat is "Washington DC. Attack: the Winter Soldier." This is not accurate to the order of events! The Winter Soldier events were before Age of Ultron; the public of the MCU would also know this.

And suddenly on stage Steve is now in the center while everyone else gestures to him. Instead of singing with him, they're telling him "Save the city! Help us win!"

Then, another voiceover: "Wakanda, under attack" (Infinity War) and again, Steve is centered while everyone else points to him. The ensemble says, "Save the city, help us win! Save us all from the state we're in! Got to hear you, got to hear you, got to hear you say..." as Steve is buckling to his knees under their pointing. And as the lights go down to one spotlight on him and everyone else leaves, he says "I can do this all day" one last time, but now it's subdued.

The implication is that Steve has been fighting and fighting, people leave him or he loses them, and he's tired.

And then fucking Old Man Steve arrives.

He says "On your left," because yes, they gave him Sam Wilson's line. BATSHIT.

So now there's two Steves on stage! There has been no mention of Thanos or infinity stones or anything up to this point! (I can only assume that's because in the MCU universe no one would want to be reminded of the trauma of "the Blip" – though it's pretty wild that they're allowed to know about magical time travel?)

Steve is baffled by Old Man Steve's arrival. I, too, was baffled by Old Man Steve's arrival.

As Steve questions how this is possible, Old Man Steve shows him the time stone from his pocket – and only the time stone – which Steve recognizes.

OLD MAN: "You've got to remember where you've been to know where you're going." STEVE: "Where am I going?" OLD MAN: "A date with destiny." STEVE: “Destiny. So we’re the hero till the end?” OLD MAN: “That’s the thing about endings, Steven. They can be rewritten.”

Lmao???????

Steve starts singing about how he hopes this means they "win" and calls himself a "tired hero."

STEVE: "But sometimes I wonder, who will save the savior? Can we really do this all day? So here I am, now and also then. Just a man, looking back at where he's been." OLD MAN: "The road is rough but wounds are healed by a thing called time. You can't forget what's waiting at the end of the line."

Me, watching this: the fact that he says this out of the blue makes absolutely no sense.

There's a bit more singing, including "end of the line" repetition, and then Old Man Steve pulls out the time stone to essentially show visions of... I don't fucking know. Past, present, and future?

That's pre-serum Steve, Steve with Mjolnir, and Sam Wilson as the new Cap. This is the only reference to Sam in the whole thing.

More singing, and then: Peggy's silhouette.

OLD MAN: "Can't forget who's waiting..." STEVE: "I can't forget who's waiting..." BOTH: "Don't forget who's waiting..." STEVE: "At the end of the line."

At this point I'm like, what in the hell?

Did Old Man Steve just brainwash normal Steve into thinking "end of the line" is now about Peggy? Because uhhhh, sorry, that's what it feels like!

Then Steve uses the stone to go back in time, reunites with Peggy, etc. etc. finale.

It's truly some crazy shit.

[drags hands down face]

Look... there's a lot to unpack here, and there's a lot that gets me about it. I know this is dramatized for the stage! I KNOW! But the fact that Old Man Steve shows up to convince Steve he should go back in time makes me want to gnaw on furniture.

Another person essentially uses the lure of a life with Peggy to tempt Steve into doing this, dramatized or not. That is how it's framed.

It's a hell of a way to frame it, and it makes Steve's ending stand in even starker contrast to so many other things in phase 4. Desperately trying to go backwards when you shouldn't or to bring back a lost lover is an evil temptation, and it results in a trap or negative cosmic consequences for basically all of the other characters in the MCU.

• In Shang-Chi, Wenwu is tempted by the Soul Eaters beyond the Dark Gate. They use the voice of his deceased wife to convince him to set them free. • In "What If" episode 4, Doctor Strange becomes evil in a desperate bid to save Christine and he destroys his universe. Along the way, he tries to tempt/trap the good Strange who's fighting him by using visions of Christine, but good Strange knows she isn't real. • Wanda's grief and desire to bring back Vision leads to – well, you know. • In No Way Home, Peter trying to undo things is what causes the multiverse problems.

And the fact that they frame it as Steve being tired, so basically the argument is he deserves that time travel ending (just like MCU fans who defend Endgame say in real life)... Well.

There's no way to make it hold up, especially because in "What If" they explicitly subverted that and had Captain Carter not go back in time despite how she felt she'd "earned" it.

Lastly, in this musical as Steve decides to pursue time travel as his course of action, he basically has the meaning or memory of "end of the line" rewritten for him. I refuse to not think that is some nefarious shit. Yes, it's not out of the realm of possibility that it's just some general Disney erasing Steve and Bucky nonsense.

But... this is on another level to me. I do think that it's a blatant choice that they had to be aware even general MCU fans would call bullshit on. Everyone knows it's inaccurate. "End of the line" is embedded in pop culture consciousness as being connected to Bucky. It just is! Surely that means it's not a stretch to theorize it could be deliberate meta commentary.

How, in the MCU world, would the in-universe playwrights even know the phrase "end of the line"? How the fuck would it be accidentally applied to Steve and Peggy? Not to sound like a crazy person, but who the fuck was rooting around in Steve and/or Bucky's personal business or their brains in order to obtain that knowledge and then remix it, and why? Neither of them would flippantly mention it in the public eye or interviews ever. So where did its inclusion come from?

And in the finale ensemble, this is Bucky's line when he comes out on stage and salutes + points to Steve: "Don't forget who's waiting..." And Old Man Steve completes it with "...at the end of the line."

What on God's green earth am I meant to do with THAT?

Smh.

The vibes are fucked, folks.

The MCU public wouldn't know enough to say the vibes are fucked. The MCU public wouldn't know the origin of "end of the line" as a phrase. But us? The ones who know the "true story" via the movies? We can call bullshit.

Whether the creative team behind this musical did every aspect of this consciously or not, in my opinion the fact that they had to tweak canon "history" to A) make Peggy's involvement in Steve's life more central and B) emphasize Steve as a tired hero all works as commentary on and almost a condemnation of Endgame's frustrating ending. In a way, it's also what Endgame did with the compass and 1973 moment with Peggy as well.

Steve's ending had to be convincing.

It's theater.

And so, maybe the same is true for the in-narrative perspective of this musical in the context of the MCU world. What purpose would it serve to tell the MCU public a feel-good narrative about how all Steve Rogers wanted was to no longer be a tragic man out of time and get to make a life with his best girl? To frame it as being about how he fought so hard for years and so he earned a happy ending? To minimize and nearly erase Bucky's importance in his life?

Who would want to do that sort of propaganda, and why?

The MCU civilians are given this happy explanation and maybe don't widely question it. Who cares about the details or logistics if it makes a good story, I guess. It's a stretch, but maybe they mostly applaud it. Maybe they're happy for "America's favorite son" (not unlike people who uncritically liked Endgame). In a way, it's even a rehabilitation of his image (after the Accords) like putting the shield on the Statue of Liberty. And maybe they'd even be ready and waiting to applaud if Steve ever made a dramatically selfless and de-aged return to the spotlight or a position of authority.

But mostly, the public is being conditioned to not know or to forget that anyone else like Bucky Barnes or Sam Wilson would possibly know Steve Rogers the person well enough in the modern day to call bullshit on any of this – or on his hypothetical miraculous future return.

So. Sure, it's probably nothing.

But what if it's not?

-------

UPDATE: @faeriecap added to this post with some incredible information and further behind-the-scenes context about the MCU/Marvel stuff at Disney parks! Check it out here :)

[batsplat]

akdjeklssj ‘bro why is being perceived such an ordeal’ is an all timer for that pic choice…pure misery in Casey’s eyes, Jorge clearly on an entirely different planet in his own mind, Valentino plottin & schemin all hours of the day every day of the week

from here. DELIGHTED to get this ask because I've been bravely resisting adding context notes to the text posts. feels against the spirit of the exercise somehow. but I LOVE this photo... not only is it just evocative in its right, but it also really fits the vibe of that presser and time period more generally. and your interpretation is pretty much spot on

the photo is from the pre-event press conference at sepang 2010. which was of course the race after motegi, where valentino put in a truly generational spite ride to deny jorge a spot on the podium. if anyone reading this for some reason hasn't watched that race, please go do that - just remember to shake your head the whole time to show everyone you don't approve of what you're watching. valentino had been heavily struggling in that stretch of the season with the nasty shoulder injury he should have already gotten surgery for. he's constantly in a lot of pain and he's also watching his irritating young teammate cruise to that year's title and he can't do anything about it... and jorge's closest championship challenger couldn't even start the race in motegi, which essentially ended the title fight then and there. annoying

so valentino does the only sensible thing you can do in that situation and decides he can at the very least least ensure jorge has a bad day. it is just so obvious that valentino would rather crash his teammate out than let him beat valentino in that race. it's some of the most aggressive riding of valentino's career, a duel that goes right to the last lap with quite a bit of contact between the pair of them. obviously it wasn't ever likely to actually cost jorge the title, but oddly enough the yamaha garage did not look thrilled by the show their riders were putting on. after the race in motegi, valentino is delighted as it's probably the most fun he's had in AGES ("was fun" he tells his mechanics the moment he gets off the bike), yamaha is furious at him for repeatedly almost knocking off their soon-to-be title winner... and jorge cannot quite avoid showing just how pissed off he is in the post-race interviews

except jorge's problem is that it doesn't take him long to realise he doesn't actually WANT to start this big drama with valentino - not when he's about to seal his first premier class title. it's effectively diverted all attention away from his first match point race... in the context of this dominant season, everyone's way more excited about this fresh bit of drama. valentino doesn't even really hit back at jorge's comments on this particular occasion. he did his talking on the track this time. quite a lot of talking, all things considered. so he can mostly get away with playing innocent and talking up how much he'd enjoyed that lovely fight with jorge. discussed more here, but these are his immediate post-race comments -

and of course valentino doesn't really NEED to say any more than that, because jorge's comments are enough to set things off. the media furore is such that by the time they land in sepang, jorge is very much in 'oh god please stop talking about this' mode. which leads to one of my all time fave presser moments: jorge straight up pretending like nothing happened at motegi. zero subtlety, beautifully awkward, not the finest moment for his acting abilities... but he commits to it, asks the moderator “what happened in japan?" - and then opts for an exaggerated "AH YES, I signed two more years with yamaha". and it's just. I suppose it does the trick in that he simply refuses to engage with the questions about it, but trust me when I say it's not the smoothest evasion of a question I've seen in my life

and while all this is happening, check out these all timer reaction shots courtesy of valentino and casey, kindly rendered in gif form by @/della46 (gifs here)

you can see jorge's little 'ahhh!!' in the second gif as if he's figured out what the moderator was referring to. I just. love both of their reactions so much. valentino's smirk as he does an exaggerated tip of the head to get a look at his teammate. casey's open grin as he likewise glances over at jorge. like it's just FUN... they both know exactly what jorge's doing and why... they both want to take a look at jorge's expression... they're both enjoying this bit of theatre. jorge is not enjoying this. he just wants to seal the title in peace

in the end, he does just that at sepang - though of course valentino has to steal the limelight once again by coming back from twelfth on the first lap to beat jorge and dovi. also just happens to be valentino's 46th win for yamaha, because of course it is. which leads to quality scenes in parc fermé, where the cordial congratulations between the pair of them gives way to them hamming it up with their celebrations a few feet away with each other. dovi's presence also adds a certain je ne sais quoi to proceedings, with him and valentino just ever so friendly with each other on the podium in a moment of anti-jorge solidarity. two men who simply refused to lose to jorge lorenzo on that particular day

and with that, back to the pre-event presser photo. following on from some proper fun press conference theatrics. features casey, who is at this point just waiting out the rest of his ducati career - he'd recently stumbled upon a rich vein of form, but ducati's decline was still ongoing and he just seemed sick of the whole thing. immediately crashes out of sepang too. valentino, who has been in severe pain since the second race of that season and really, really should be going off to get his shoulder fixed - but as least he's managed to make life just a little more unpleasant for jorge during what should be such a joyous time for him. and jorge, who is about to achieve his biggest dream. who has just spent a press conference trying to play down this stupid drama started by his stupid teammate. this stupid drama which is now the biggest topic of conversation. and will be for the foreseeable future. he just wants to be left alone... please leave him alone

[thedisablednaturalist]

Tw for weight loss mention

The whole exercise will cure your disability thing is a fucking joke. Yes exercise is beneficial for your health, but only if you aren't already on shaky foundations. You need to be on a treatment plan that WORKS before going into the maintenance phase. You wouldn't do regular maintenance on a broken item, you'd work on getting it up and running first. And maybe it would even need specialized maintenance afterwards if it's especially fragile.

I have fibromyalgia and acute degenerative disc disease. My immune system attacks my nerves and discs in my spine are slowly calcifying and causing the bones to constrict and damage my nerves (i think thats how it works). I have days where it feels like my body is on fire from nerve pain and days where it feels like my spine is about to rip from my back. And days where I have both (like today!). I get numbness in my hands and feet. I have horrible migraines. I can no longer walk unaided more than maybe 5 minutes without severe pain. I have something wrong with my knees and hips but the doctors don't know what yet.

You'd think I live an obviously seditary lifestyle correct?

Hell no.

I walk aided on average 6 miles a day over difficult terrain OUTSIDE of regular activity almost everyday. My legs are muscular and strong. I get my heart rate up and a good sweat, like all the gym rats swear on. I am often doing physical labor such as weeding, digging, sample collecting, pruning trees etc.

I'm not saying this to make other disabled people feel bad or prove that they can do anything if they just tried harder. This is an extremely painful lifestyle I've chosen that takes a lot of lifestyle management AND BOUNDARIES to keep up with the work. I also have an extremely forgiving boss who is also physically disabled and knows what I'm going through (deciding between your passion and your health and having to do so each and every day) No one should ever be expected to do what I do. I'm not even sure if I should be doing this myself.

This is to prove that exercise? Has not cured me. My muscles are strong but still hurt as if they're broken and I have to take more breaks than my coworker. I am constantly getting out of breath and I flare up regularly if I'm not careful. I am in excellent physical condition outside of my disabilities. I go to different doctors several times a month to get checked out.

I previously went through a diet program and lost a lot of weight (basically starving myself and got off my depression meds which cause weight gain but are also the only ones that work) and guess what? That didn't do shit either!!! I still felt horrible!!! I've since gained back the weight anyway after switching to focusing on adding more nutrient dense foods than taking stuff away from my diet (also muscle weighs more than fat, and fat helps cushion my aching joints and spine).

The muscle doesn't do shit for my disabilities outside of maybe some stability. Exercising everyday doesn't make the pain go away. Without my medications and aids and nutrition plans and steroid injections and spinal adjustments and physical therapy (that takes my fibro and spine into account) and alternative work methods I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I DO. Exercise alone is like trying to make a car run with no oil. Yes it'll go but it'll get more and more damaged till it can't and will need its entire engine replaced!

And yet I see new doctors and they look at me and the first thing out of their mouths is do I exercise? I should try doing a little every day :) and then i fucking blow their minds when I tell them about my job. No longer can they use that fucking cop out on me. I've been through this rodeo. Ive tried their suggestions. If you are in pain and nothing is helping? Exercise ain't going to do SHIT. You need to get to a point where you can move without severe pain first (if that's even possible). Then and only then should you consider implementing regular exercise if you can. Also weight loss talk is a red flag and a cop out. They made me lose 50+ lbs before they would look into the reasons behind my pain. Weight loss did nothing for me and exacerbated my pain.

I am living proof that all that shit is a lie and a cop out. That is the point of this post. I cannot believe people with serious medical conditions are being forced to put their bodies through extreme duress just to be believed. You are not disabled because of laziness or because you sit a lot. Plenty of people live seditary lifestyles and do not live in constant excruciating pain (they may develop disabilities later in life due to this however, and should be doing preventative exercises to maintain their health)

Please, share my story with doctors. Use me as an example. I am proof that "exercise first treat later" does not work. I should not have had to wait years to have my pain validated. I'd rather hundreds of fakers get (what? A blood test? An MRI?) than one chronically ill person get told to try yoga and go away by a doctor.

[stvrdrops]

who are you loyal to? ☆ | shuri x fem!reader

the ring on your finger is temporary, while shuri's claim on you is forever. some silly arrangement won't keep from her, she's just hurt you didn't tell her first.

warnings : cheating, kissing, arranged marriage

word count : 4k+

note : this is actually one of my favorite pieces i've ever written, so i hope you guys enjoy it :) also i just skimmed through it instead of proof reading so sorry if there are errors.

as your servants laced up the corset that lays under your black silky dress you couldn't help but dread the upcoming event. you'd been attending the wakandan tribe gala since you were in diapers. your mother and father ruling over the river tribe helped you get the invite after all these years.

when you were young you loved attending the gala. it was a time for you to feel accepted and welcome among the people of higher class. you could relate to the people of your tribe, but you couldn't help but feel isolated. you were the only daughter of your parents, meaning you faced the hard task of taking over for them once they passed.

attending the balls also didn't hurt because shuri had been in attendance. the princess of wakanda obviously had to be in attendance and you were happy to see her every time. when the two of you were just a few years younger you were very close. however, you mainly had to do most of your communication with her through kimoyo beads only. the only time you did get to see each other were at galas or royal meetings your parents would drag you along for. this meant this was the only time you and shuri got the chance to exercise your teenaged romance. your relationship was essentially long distance, without the distance. perhaps social distance and busy schedule distance would be a better term for it.

sneaking around the palace during the galas gave you both adrenaline. stealing kisses behind pillars and escaping the dora milaje at every corner made you somehow fall more in love with her. sometimes you two would sneak off into her lap, where no one would be due to how busy the ballroom was. she would show you all the things she made with you in mind as you sat on the table, smiling wide. you were in awe of her intelligence, while she was in awe of your beauty.

"this one i call y/n prototype number three." shuri said as she showed off a kimoyo beaded necklace, laced with vibranium diamonds. it made your eyes go wide from its beauty. she knew how much you loved jewelry. she also knew how much you liked it when she named her inventions after you.

"it matches your breathtaking beauty."

"oh shuri, stop it! you're too much of a sap." you said, smiling from ear to ear and laughing together as she hugs you.

at one point shuri had even set griot's voice to your own when she was alone in her lab. she had claimed it helped her focus, but really it was the only way she could get any real sleep.

one day she had forgotten to change the voice setting when her mother walked in. this resulted in many questions that shuri couldn't answer due to how flustered she was.

shuri was your first love, first meaningful relationship, and first sexual partner. you two were together for three years, which were some of the best in your entire life. a lot of the most important events in your life involved her.

now, this would be the first time you've seen her since your private break up. it would be the first time that you've seen her since her brother's passing. in his death he handed her the mantle of the black panther, which meant she spent less and less at home in wakanda.

it would also be the first time that you were to tell the queen, and shuri, about your soon-to-be wife. which would make your relationship with her far more public than shuri's.

an arranged marriage was very common within your tribe. your parents had been arranged and sometimes you wondered if they even truly loved one another. your heart had been with shuri, not someone random.

the breakup was caused because shuri was angry with the world. she wanted to burn it into ashes. she thought that because she had lost her brother that she had lost everyone who cared about her. her mind pushed out the thoughts of you, therefore ultimately leaving you alone to deal with your own grief as well.

it was painful knowing that she was dealing with something like this, self sabotaging herself in the process. you knew she would never be the same shuri, which only made you cry more. she was destroying herself and you could do nothing but watch.

however, almost two years had passed since then. this meant you needed to begin to move on, whether you liked it or not. you avoided seeing shuri in the media, blocking news sites and articles from popping up on your kimoyo beads that might showcase her. you refused to attend any formal events in fear that you may see her there despite her busy schedule. you became somewhat of a recluse, only letting your tribe people see you when you needed to go to the market. this ball was the only thing you couldn't get out of, and you tried ever so desperately to do so. your parents went on and on about how you need to stop avoiding the girl you were to marry. really, they had no clue that you were avoiding the girl you wanted to marry.

"they are here to escort you to the gala, y/n." your personal bodyguard spoke out. she had been a part of your tribe and was almost like an older sister to you. she was the only person who knew about the true nature of you and shuri's relationship. she was the only person who truly knew who your tears were for.

"thank you, i shall head out soon." you say to her, a smile on your face to hide the feelings you truly had. she knew it was a facade, but she admired you all the more for it. you were a strong woman, and an even stronger leader someday. she hoped that shuri would open her eyes again to you someday, but it was becoming less likely with your upcoming marriage.

she simply walks away, after giving you a nod. your face turns back to the vanity you sat at. your makeup looked beautiful and your hair was styled high on top of your head. you looked just as regal as you felt. you wondered if shuri would feel the same if your eyes met hers tonight.

"ah, my sweet daughter has finally decided to join society after all this time." your father says jokingly as you bow before the queen. everyone had to do so whenever they entered the gala. you did so, as the princess stood right beside her.

you refused to make eye contact, placing your gaze at anything but her. yet, out of the corner of your eye you couldn't help but watch her.

she had looked older, more mature. perhaps aged by her grief. she no longer wore her signature braids, instead opting for a curly top and a fade all the way around. her jawline no longer seemed childish and her body had been much more toned than before. she wore a dress of her own, it was long and somewhat boxy. it made her look tall and elegant. you curse bast for making her so much more attractive, therefore making her harder to resist.

shuri had been fighting the urge to look at you as well. it proved hard for her, because although she would not admit her cruelty she knew she messed up with you. while you actively went to of your way to avoid shuri, she kept up with you. she watched you in the market when you traveled through. she kept up with your charity work in america at the centers her brother had created before his passing. she thought she knew everything there was to know about you, not being able to let go after all this time.

"i hear we have an engagement on our hands?" queen ramonda asks, causing you to push out a fake smile. shuri can't help but look in your direction now, with her eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide. this couldn't be true, how did she not know? she prayed to bast that you would correct her mother.

"yes. i am to be married."

"to who?" shuri bursts out, her voice cracking a little as she speaks. the outburst causes you to finally look directly at her. your heart skips a beat, and she can sense it. most of all, she can see it, the pain hidden deep within your face when she looks at you. a pain that she caused, and she knows it too. her nose twitched at the realization.

your parents speak for you, considering you're far too choked up. "to make, she also from the river tribe. we thought it best to find someone from within our tribe for her."

"oh, how wonderful-" the queen begins to say, before being cut off by her daughter.

"this was arranged?" she looks bewildered and upset all at once. her voice had arguably raised an entire level and some people even began to look towards her. "do you people not even care if your daughter loves her?"

your mother scoffs as you stand there, stuck in your own embarrassment and surprise.

"shuri! know your place. do not ask such questions!" the queen says, quickly correcting her daughter's unruliness.

"i am sorry mother." she mumbles out, never once taking her eyes off of you.

"do not apologize to me. apologize to y/n and her parents."

in your mind there was nothing to apologize for. shuri had spoken out against something that both you and her knew was wrong. she knew how you felt about arranged marriages. you often expressed your fear to her that your parents would set you up in a loveless marriage someday. she would reassure you, saying that would never happen seeing as how she wouldn't allow it. besides, there would be no worry as long as you two were together. however, now you aren't together. now you were engaged and it was not to her.

"i am sorry elders." she speaks, and then looks at you. "i am sorry y/n."

it felt like her saying sorry for so much more than this outburst.

"apology accepted." your father states, not wanting to dwell on the matter more than you already had. your mother has an angry look on her face, still not taking the apology sincere.

"if you will excuse me, queen mother, i must be seeing my fiancée."

she simply nods her head, "i hope to speak with you about this exciting news later."

"of course." you say before walking off into the crowd of people.

"please excuse me as well." shuri says shortly after you walk off. she only heads off into your direction once her mother sways her away with a hand motion.

"y/n!" your fiancée calls over to you from the bar. her hand is in the air, showing her magnificent diamond on her ring finger. it was the most expensive your parents could get.

"makeya, my love. how are you tonight?" you ask her as you sit next to her in one of the empty chairs. it didn't feel right calling her that nickname, considering you did not truly love her. you loved her as a person. she was kind, beautiful, and ever so considerate of your feelings. had it been another universe you would've loved to be her person. however, you weren't and it felt so wrong to string her along. it wasn't like she had much choice in this situation either, although she seemed quite happy about it.

"i've never been able to attend one of these balls before. i always watched the lavish women enter from afar. i never imagined i'd get the chance to attend!"

for you, this was just a regular day out of the year.

"i'm glad i've been able to give you this experience." the bother in your voice is obvious. you don't even bother to hide it, knowing that you wouldn't be able to.

"is something the matter?"

"not particularly."

"ah, i know what is."

you raise your head, "you do?"

she laughs, "yes, you are probably just too used to these sorts of settings. they are not fun for you anymore."

"oh," you say, a little disappointed she hadn't guessed correctly and called of the engagement right then and there. "sure, that's it."

"y/n?" a familiar voice calls out to you. you would've liked to say you turned slowly to face her, when really it was the exact opposite. it was as if you were desperate for her to call out to you and you jolted up. your posture changed and your eyes widened as you looked at her. your lips went dry despite the gloss and air was caught in your throat. for some reason it felt like you were caught cheating.

"princess shuri?" makeya can't help but ask, the fingerling in her voice is hard to contain.

shuri laughs, and it sends shivers down your spine. the princess watches as the hairs on your arms stand. she was eye-fucking you, and you knew it. yet, it wasn't like you were exactly begging her to stop.

"we should go elsewhere makeya."

"and leave so soon?" shuri questions, making you scowl at her.

"not leaving entirely, just leaving the area."

"oh, y/n. don't be like that when i'm trying to know your future wife."

makeya giggles, not intuitive enough to see what's going on. how she is ignoring the tension between you and shuri is unbeknownst.

"i would love for you to get to know me! i know that you and y/n were close friends once, but she would never give any exact details!"

"oh?" shuri looks from makeya and back to you, "i have many details about y/n. such as one about the star tattoo on her lower hip. you see-"

"enough." you hiss out to the panther, grabbing her arm. "makeya, please excuse us."

you don't bother looking back to see your fiancée as you began dragging shuri out of the ballroom. some eyes fall onto the both of you as you push past the crowd. shuri had a wide smile on her face, knowing she got under your skin. your anger only grew when you realized this was her intention all along.

you don't even realize you feet are taking you to the lab until you reach the smart doors. perhaps it was muscle memory that this is where you decided to take her. if you were being honest, it only made you more angry.

"griot, open." you speak to the ai, assuming that shuri never deleted your voice activations. just as you thought, the doors opened without a second thought.

with your strength you pull her body in front of yours once you're alone in the room.

"what the hell are you doing?"

she scoffs, "that's a question i should be asking you. since when do you feel the need to not tell me you're getting married?"

"it's none of your concern who i am with. you are the the one shut me out! she let me in after you broke my heart."

"i'm assuming pretty easily too." shuri rolls her eyes.

you don't know what exactly you've done until you hear the sound of skin connecting, until you see shuri touching the red mark on her cheek, until you see how wide her eyes are. you don't even notice the tears in your eyes until you feel one rolling down your face. no apology for slapping her comes to your mouth. you can't find it within yourself to apologize. you were hurt by her. hell, you were still hurting because of her. she had lost her brother and you were sympathetic to that. why did she want to lose you as well? that part confused you deeply.

"how dare you?" you ask, your voice breaking. "how dare you start acting like you give a damn about me now? would you have even cared if i wasn't engaged?"

shuri stays silent, fingers still touching her own cheek.

"that's what i thought. you are jealous that i'm happy. you're upset i didn't stick around to put up with your bullshit."

"it is not bullshit. i was grieving."

"we were all grieving shuri, so i understand that. but are you really going to use that as your excuse for pushing me out and then never letting me back in? if so, it's a cheap fucking cop out."

"it was never my intention to fully push you out. i thought i was doing you a favor!"

now it was your turn to laugh, "a favor? you thought that me losing the love of my life would a favor?"

"love of your life?"

you grind your teeth, not wanting to answer that question. her eyes are searching for it, that much you can tell as she looks right through you. your lip trembles as you fight back more tears. this was not the conversation you wanted to have tonight.

"i got scared." shuri begins to say after realizing you weren't going to answer. "i got scared that i would lose you completely, like t'challa. i know you have certain rolls to uphold within the river tribe. i didn't know if i could be that woman for you anymore, living in constant fear that you'd be the one i'd lose next. you deserved to be happy, so i thought that was the only way. i didn't know that it would do the opposite of making you happy."

"you're selfish for not asking me about how i felt. all i ever did was ask how you were doing."

"i won't say that i'm not selfish. i am. i'm being selfish even now about wanting you all to myself. i pushed a lot of people out when my brother died, including my mother. i made amends with her but i never knew how to go about reconciliation with you. now it's too late. you have no idea how many nights i've laid awake sleepless wondering about you."

"then give me an idea." you say, staring deep into her eyes.

"when i realized just how much pushing i'd really done i knew i could never get you back. i had countless nightmares replaying our breakup in my mind. i thought that putting myself into my work would take my mind off of you but it only made it worse. my designs went back to being centered about you. my coworkers knew i was unable to focus on my work. i grew irritated with everything and everyone. i kept tabs on you, but obviously not well enough."

it hurt your heart to know this was how shuri was feeling. however, you knew deep down that you couldn't settle for this. would you have ever gotten this apology from her had you not been engaged?

"i'm telling you this now because i don't want you think i don't love you. i wasn't sure if i could find the courage to admit my mistakes until now." she says, as if she's heard your thoughts. your eyes can't help but go wide. this was the push that shuri desperately needed.

"what did you expect to get out of this?"

"do you love her?" she interjects, not even bothering to answer your question.

"fuck you, shuri."

"fine, then let me ask you this." she says, stepping close to you.

you just keep looking right at her, challenging her with your stance. the feeling of her breathing on your skin makes you shiver.

"who are you loyal to?" shuri asks, gazing into your eyes. she's searching for an answer that she knows she won't get.

"my country, my family, and my people. as every great leader is. you should know this better than anyone." you say back, glaring into her deep brown eyes. you knew she was testing you.

"ah, but not your soon to be wife."

"i am loyal to her especially."

shuri chuckles, "but here you are with me. you're a liar."

you cock your head, smiling at her, "she fucks good." you knew this was a lie. makeya had never even touched your boob without a bra over it.

"oh please," shuri rolls her eyes, "i saw the look on her face when i mentioned your tattoo. she didn't even know it existed."

you grind your teeth together. of course your fiancée didn't know you had that tattoo. you two hadn't actually gotten that intimate yet, knowing you weren't ready for something like that after shuri. even more ironic, it was a tattoo that shuri had given you herself after a drunken night. it was a panther paw. corny, you know. however, it signified that shuri laid her claim on you. which was highly efficient considering every time you stared at yourself in the mirror you would envision her behind you.

"yeah, nothing to say now." shuri says, now even closer to your body. your noses are almost touching and your chests can't help but smush up against each other. her hand makes its way to your face, caressing it softly. "that's cause you're loyal to your princess. not whoever that woman is. i know you're angry and i can't express how sorry i am. however, i will not let you marry her. i will go out there right now and tell them all that i'm marrying you if that is what it takes."

"do it then." you say, offering her a challenge that you don't know she'd actually take. you weren't thinking about how much it may hurt your supposed lover. you weren't thinking about how much it would hurt your mother and father. you knew how hurt you were by shuri, but she was the kind of drug that was the hardest to quit.

you can feel her free hand slipping off the engagement ring you sported on your finger. her eyes never break away from yours as she tries to read the emotion spreading across your face. for some reason, you can't make her stop from throwing your ring across the lab.

then she kisses you. it was nothing like you've ever experienced before. it was better than any first kiss you had with her. it was as if all this wanting built up to a point of no return as her hands found your hips. as she lifted you up onto the table she wasn't thinking about makeya. she was thinking about how you were hers and always would be. her panther powers kicked in as she gripped your thighs, trialing her kisses all the way down your neck.

she smiled in between kisses and sucking as she listened to the moans that escaped your mouth. they sounded like a symphony as they came one after the other. this was what you ached and dreamed for, and damn did it feel good.

"who are you loyal to?" shuri asks again, sounding breathless.

"you.." you moan out, trying to maintain your composure.

"good." shuri states, and then pulls away from you.

"where are you going?" you can't help but ask as you watch her walk towards the exit of the door.

"to tell them you're getting married."

"they already know that shuri!" you exclaim as you fix the straps on your dress and fix your hair she had begun to mess up.

"oh i know. but i am going to tell them you're marrying me instead."

shuri had officially lost it. you attempted to catch up with her as she moved through the halls, but her panther powers made her walk so much faster than you when she was trying. you pleaded with her to not do this, knowing the outcome. the elders would never allow it and you would crush makeya in the same sitting.

yet, you couldn't help but smile at the idea. shuri finally showing the effort you've always wanted from her. your heart ached for this and your dreams were becoming a reality in ways you could never imagine.

shuri was going to marry you, whether the elders approved or not.

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