#which needs to be fixed for sure
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this is what i’m talking about babey (loreleaf in a psychoromantic duel with his god over who can love the other the most destructively VS doli lin having no expectations for how the gods treat him and still managing to be disappointed)
#I wanted to do a loreleaf and bats comparison post but I don’t have the draft of monster in this computer#which needs to be fixed for sure#but lora and doli lin are in the same book so it’s more interesting to me this way anyway#story: we did not fulfill the prophecy#char: loreleaf#char: doli lin#I also don’t even know if this snippets make sense out of context I am just So Tired#feeling very ‘I connected two dots’ and also very ‘you didn’t connect SHIT.’ I contain multitudes
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felt the need to doodle lilia
#twst#lilia vanrouge#finished the first part of ch7#im so nervous but also excited for the rest on en#i love this dumbass so much gdi ch7 is going to end me#ive had alot of artblock lately#so between school and bg3 i havnt been able to draw much of anything that i like enough to post#have too many unfinished lilia doodles#might post a bunch of them here since who knows if ill ever finish them#this one was surprisingly somthing i drew earlier but then fixed it up#which is something i hardly do lol#usually i need to be hyperfocused and finish the art in one day lol#which is why i feel certain i'll never be able to ever take on commissions orz#trying to get into the art zone is very fickle and im sure it always will be
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listen guys I love Peri a lot too, I think there's a lot about his character worth studying and that he's a good guy but you all have GOT to stop blaming Dev here when Peri is arguably more at fault!
Sure, Dev was mean to him, but Peri was mean back! And Peri is an adult while Dev is a ten year old child, Peri should have the capacity to not complain about him directly to his face, especially considering Dev has been emotionally abused all his life.
Ultimately, I don't consider it to be either of their faults. Sure, Peri was bad at this, but he straight up didn't have any experience except for Timmy, where he took up the role of a brother instead of a parent, a VERY different dynamic. Peri should've gotten like at least 3 different godkids before someone like Dev, to give him a feel for how different kids can be, and how you need to deal with different situations in their own ways. And that's just the lowest I'd advise going, he should've definitely had more.
So I blame the system for throwing him to the wolves fresh out of schooling, especially considering, iirc, Fairy Academy is canonically pretty terrible, as it's more like a military academy than an actual school. He had no proper experience, no way of knowing how to help a kid that doesn't seem to want to be helped...
But if you're going to blame anyone, blame Peri. Not the child that he was supposed to help, the child that he failed.
Mind you, 10 year olds literally don't even have fully developed minds yet, of course his sense of morality is a bit twisted. His brain isn't fully grown!
#another ramble. tragic.#also yeah i truly believe they're gonna fix it in s2 if the creators get one#bc. like. Peri has literally no place in the story without Dev#but they made him such an important character in s1 and he's SUPER important to the overarching franchise#that it'd be stupid to get rid of him#but without Dev he's just THERE. most interesting thing u can do with him now is like. a job hunt episode!#beyond a few episodes (which would HAVE to be focused on him more than Hazel bc otherwise u have no justification for him being there)#he would just randomly appear and it'd be super awkward#and no one else we've seen really needs a godparent...#and it'd be WEIRD to just toss away their dynamic fully after building it up so much...#he and Dev will make up I'm sure of it#so yall really have NO reason to be so mad at the kid#fopanw#fop a new wish#fop#fairly oddparents#fop peri#peri fairywinkle-cosma#the fairly oddparents#good enough aaaaand post
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I have some good news and some less good news: Good news: I think I'm probably going to make the giant cuddly Toothless, I can probably get by Joanns tomorrow during the fleece sale and pick up some black fleece.
Less good news: I am probably not going to be able to finish the quilt today like I'd intended to, my electrolytes apparently got even more out of whack than my normal, because in addition to regular muscle cramps and spasms I got the smooth muscle cramps again! 0/10 do not recommend, they finally stopped but I am so sore (as my doc explained it to me a while ago, smooth muscles are the ones around your organs, and normally you can't feel them at all. If they cramp or spasm very badly, you can feel them and they hurt real bad because you are not used to feeling them. I am not a doctor that's just what he told me) Good news: Sonic is my go-to Maximum Sodium meal so I'm going to have Sonic for lunch and see if that fixes me lol
#the person behind the yarn#the muscle cramps woke me up at 3am this morning from the pain! I am in significantly less pain now#because they've stopped cramping#but ouch. I did get back to sleep after like an hour#but ow my whole torso is sore from how bad the cramps were#and that's not even counting the other muscle tightness and cramps and spasms#most of the time being sodium georg is only moderately inconvenient but sometimes it's majorly inconvenient#my Sonic meal has more than 3000mg of sodium#that's eight salt pills#that's so much sodium surely it will Fix Me#also to add insult to injury when I am having a flare up like that the pain makes me sweat#which loses MORE salt#and it's like dang it me! I need that salt! stop sweating!
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Spoilers for the end of poker face alt!
I shall now spend the next five months theorizing why Sally decided to summon the Wanderlust card at the end of the map /hj
please be foreshadowing him and his chosen one arc being in game
#look I need my blue deity fix#all we got is this and Sunshine#which is also a ton of fun#jd wanderlust#just dance 2025#im not sure if it’s safe to tag with poker face alt’s name yet sorry#just dance 2025 spoilers
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Time was at a standstill. Vegas was holding his breath without noticing, and continued to hold it when he did - he was afraid of what would happen if he exhaled loudly enough to draw attention to himself. His gaze was shifting between Pete and the man who was standing before them in the doorway, blocking their entrance. Vegas had never seen him before, but even so, he recognized Pete in him enough to know who he was. A dangerous aura surrounded him. There was an edge to his presence that Vegas would only come across people of certain circles. He was a fighter. A muay khao. Pete's father. Shame coursed through Vegas' body, smearing his skin, settling in his lungs, rendering him speechless. I thought he was dead, he wanted to tell Pete if he could. He wanted to scream at him, I thought you killed him. Pete was the one who broke the stillness. As if awakened by something, he took a half-step back and made a motion with his arms, almost raising them to his chest, but not quite. In an instant, Pete reverted into the pet Vegas had been keeping at the safehouse, bound by handcuffs and afraid of his belt hitting flesh and drawing blood. A lump formed in Vegas' throat. "Have you stopped practicing? Your form is off." The uncanny similarities between Pete and his father appearance-wise didn't mean a thing when it came to their voices. Vegas shivered. Was this what Pete would sound like in a few decades? (Were these the condescending words he'd choose to spew? Was Pete going to embody his father? Was Vegas embodying his?) "What are you doing here?" Pete whispered. "They let me out for a few days, so I came here to collect some money. Imagine my surprise when I found out my offspring left the job someone found him worthy enough of doing to... do what exactly? Yaai didn't want to tell me." He crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Vegas didn't know what he was allowed to say. If he was allowed to say anything at all. "It's none of your business." "I'd say it very much is my business, as well as yaai's business who was dependent on the money you were making being some rich asshole's human shield." A choked sound scratched Vegas' throat. He didn't like getting reminded of Pete being the main family's bodyguard, even though he stopped being one mere months ago. Especially like this. That was the first time Pete's father stopped looking at his son and turned his head to look at Vegas. For a moment, there seemed to be recognition in his eyes. Did he know who Vegas was? Did he care? A snort came out of his mouth. He leaned on the door. "Oh, I see how it is." He laughed, scratched his neck. "I never expected you to whore yourself out for money. Tell me, is it preferable to the path I carved out for you?" Vegas could sense the disgust in his voice. He could also see it on Pete's face. He was too astonished to share it, but not enough to be unable to speak. "Khun, there has been some misunderstanding-" "Don't bother. I can recognize a faggot when I see one." Pete's movements were too fast for Vegas to stop him. A direct jab to the nose; his father fell like a pack of cards, groaning like a wounded animal. Surprisingly, no blood - Pete held back. Vegas didn't know what to think about that. "That was a pathetic attack, even for you." "Get up." "We're not in the ring, son." Pete growled. Vegas could see his hands trembling as he was keeping them in the air, maintaining an offensive stance. "That never stopped you before." "You were too young to understand what I was doing back then. What I was preparing you for." Pete was silent. "The world isn't kind. It'll fuck you over one way or another." He got up, spat on the ground. "You still haven't learned a thing. You're too old to afford being naive." He turned around, and without sparing a look at Pete again, said: "Now get the fuck out of my house." (For @musictooth, whose posts about Pete's father have reignited my passion for this specific concept and for @wretchedamaranth, whose comments on my writing are always lovely and precious ❤️)
#tw slur#vegaspete#pete saengtham#snippet#yu is writing#I started writing this today while waiting for my bus to arrive and wrote most of it on public transport <33#(hopefully it doesn't show lol)#there's a lot of context missing here but basically: VP visit yaai and a wild father appears#I didn't have space to include her unfortunately but just imagine her in the background with a sad look on her face#which is mostly fixed on Vegas :))#for no reason at all :))#due to a certain someone who I won't name (😤) I mayyy turn this into a fic? Maybe?#because 1. I did have a similar idea a year or so ago but never did anything with it and 2. this concept NEEDS to be explored more come on#because in my mind Vegas and Pete can't go to yaai's house until/unless Pete's father leaves#all their stuff is in her house#and they only have Vegas' car with which they traveled there#and Bangkok is too far away to go back now in the middle of the night (yes this happens at night time)#so basically what I'm saying is: VP will spend their night in the car :)#I'm sure the combination of an agitated Pete and a tired Vegas who's also equating Pete with his father due to their external similarities#will be a delightful experience for them both#I'm vibrating out of my skin just thinking about it#can I promise I'll write it and put it out there? Hell no#can I still get excited by the prospect of it happening? Hell yes#sorry I'm rambling a little too much over here#I just haven't felt this good writing in MONTHS#thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it <3333
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New game interest unlocked
(crow in bottom right belongs to @patchwork-crow-writes)
#ramarl#phantasy star online#long tag warning lol i rambled#so i was introduced to phantasy star online#i think its safe to say i really enjoy the game#thank you mr crow for showing me this game :D i have new creatures to scribble now#there shall be more of these doodles#i promise you that#meant to post this wayyyyy earlier today but uh#my car broke down :') ....again :')#last week it wouldn't turn on and the headlights weren't working so we were like ''ok this is a battery issue and i need a new one''#because jumping the car didnt fix it#so we took my old battery to a shop and they tested its charge before showing us which new one we should get#but the battery had charge???????? so we went back home to troubleshoot#and then found the hooks(?idk what they're called) that connected the battery to the car had something corroded on them#so we grabbed a can of coke and scrubbed away#hooked the battery back up and bam car was working#so the issue was those hooks#until two days ago when my car didnt work again#looked at the battery again and the hooks came loose; tightened them up and bam car working again#and now at this point I'm scared to go anywhere cause what if i get stranded on my own??#so this morning i said ''alright I'm gonna drive myself to church just to be sure that my car works''#AND WOULD YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENED#at this point i just wish the damn battery was dead and that i could replace it and move on from this#i know they're a bit pricey but jesus this is exhausting#but i can't just buy a new battery if im not sure that's the actual problem because then I'd have a battery and nothing to do with it#i hate having a car sometimes i just want a bus system#or a jeep#but preferably a bus system#sorry rambles thats a long way of saying i didnt post this earlier because ive been working on my car lol
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i made so much progress on “butchered tongue” i’m so happy AHHHHHHHHH :3 still a long way to go but i’m gonna pat myself on the back regardless <3
#i’m gonna read the posts in my writing tips tags soon bc i want this fic to have Atmosphere#and good dialogue… rn dialogue & conversations are whooping my ass#and i keep writing a bit robotically/keep saying ‘you’ do this ‘you’ say this blah blah blah#it doesn’t feel like a STORYYYYY yet which i need to do better with! AND WORK ON SHOW NOT TELL!!!!!!#but yeah :3 my goal is to finish this fic by next week ;D hopefully i can!#my masterlist is so bare so i need to fix that NFNDNDNDN… slowly but surely… slowly but surely#my goal is to have my fics in my top three posts on my blog but alas… i haven’t written SHIT so it’s none of them are on there 😭#i just miss seeing three sugu faces when i open up my blog… imma change that soon#Trust#rn i think it’s father shoko which… elite of my brain tbh… dad shoko i love you king#anyways time 2 eat pasta! YIPPEE#personal
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how do people even find partners. i dont want a bullshit answer, like really
#maybe im intimidating but no one has been interested in me#its just. rough#and i cant force myself to like anyone romantically if i dont feel compatability#i just want to be cared about in an exclusive way that friendship alone cant fix#i dont post abt this often but i got no sleep so yall gotta deal#its um. crushing sometimes#i dont even know if im aro as cope. once i did THC im more emotionallt aware and its. haha#the people around me tell me things that make me feel like im a catch and i feel it myself but NO ONE has advanced#and ive only felt attracted to one person in my life. who was taken ofc#im not sure it wouldve worked out good though anyway since im more emotionally mature#but it was because he expressed genuine care towards me and made me feel good about myself in honest ways i havent heard from anyone#and made me feel important to him#so im really at a loss#and also our conversations flow really smooth and we agree on many things that we find important#are there any extroverts that confidently wear their hearts on the sleeves and try to bring joy that want me#someone sensitive to my needs#my needs of which are actually very very basic#hi
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ruthlessly deleting old 2021/2022 posts (not by me) from my dean studies tag like *click* un-incorporating that from my beliefs system! also the way SO many posts have me like ok uh-huh good aaand then say one completely wrong thing that loses me. it's so many posts.
#it's usually when they randomly drop some line of fanon. like saying dean has never admitted to being wrong in his life#or never expressed an emotion or been vulnerable or doesn't Talk About Feelings or is super duper RepressedTM#like i'm sorry. have you watched the show. oh and have you taken off the sammy POV goggles first?#bc this guy is always crying and being vulnerable and talking about his feelings. he is self-aware.#he may not always want to talk to sam abt things! but he sure does talk about things with other people#do i need to reblog the compilation posts AGAIN?#(also re: his sexualiy? AWARE. sorry i saw him flirt and be flustered by so many men. he knows how he feels.)#and then 'first time ever admitting to being wrong' this one came from a post abt dean's prayer in the trap#like i'm sorry but first of all. dean apologizes more than any other character on the show. there are hard numbers on this.#people have tracked this on spreadsheets. i think ilarual is one of them.#and often he is apologizing for things that aren't even his fault! but he still feels responsible for bc he's been made to feel that way#his whole life!!#other characters *cough samandcas *cough* apologizing Less doesn't mean they've Done less things wrong#it just means they're not owning up to it and brushing it under the rug. something both do frequently.#anyways. aside from apologies. dean also has no problem admitting he's wrong y'know when he's actually wrong#which is less often than you'd think bc he has pretty good instincts and intuition and often suspects things which turn out to be Right#but anyways. another thing abt the trap prayer is. i don't think cas Needed to be forgiven#i think dean was justified in feeling angry w cas over the circumstances leading to the Death of His Mother! totally normal grief response!#i think cas also understands dean to be someone who needs time to process and deal with his feelings (he says as much to jack)#however. despite me not think dean Needs to forgive cas. the thing is. with dean when it comes to cas the forgiveness is implicit#when he says /of course i forgive you/ and in the cut like /of course i wanted you to stay/ like. yes he was mad and dealing with grief#but also. yes cas was already forgiven even back then. he just needed Time to work through the feelings#anyways i think dean says he 'forgives' cas bc it's what CAS needed to hear to stop feeling guilty and dean gives him that closure#but i also think cas was already forgiven even in dean's anger. he wants him there always. i'd rather have you. we can fix this. etc etc#a lot of tags for a non-rebloggable post ajksdfs maybe i'll make these into a real post sometime#vic.txt#dean and feelings#so i can find this all again later
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puella adiuva my class-readings are getting in my fic-writing again...
#news from the cupola#this is specifically a#sharpewolf#issue today due to the fact that I shall have to invent a villain-of-the-week for this one and I keep wanting to give him Nuanced Historica#Context... which of course this is not the Place for given that we are at sharpe.#literally she's so pretentious it's fucking sharpe.#but then again the thought arises regarding nigel kneale's terrible mistake. I could fix her....#I (guy once again doing full-time thinking about the role of people from mesoamerica / the andes In Iberia at unfortunately blorbo-relevant#times) maybe if I took several years of exacting research and complete plot overhaul and (unlike cornwell&kneale&co) willingness to make#sure that our protagonists are distinctly cast as the villains...#<- again all of that Literally Not What The Thing I'm Presently Writing Is About and I need to be stopped for the moment#could get into that in a Different story but not this one!!!#all my respect to the wolfwalkers writers for straight up making their villain real actual oliver cromwell#alas I do not have such an easy way out of this particular corner.
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They should invent a losing/forgetting things because you have a disorder that makes you lose/forget things that doesn't make me feel so guilty and frustrated I want to cry
#i was so so so SO careful to remember to pack my new pill case i bought specifically for this trip#and i lost the ENTIRE FUCKING PILL CASE. WITH ALL THE PILLS IN IT.#it is GONE.#i dumped out my entire bag and even shook out the clothes to make sure it wasn't lodged in an armhole or something#i was so careful to create a system in which i would remember to take my fucking meds.#i bought a special pill case. i downloaded an app#i KNOW i had it in my purse when i left the house#it's so fucking unfair!! i try so so so SO GODDMAN HARD AND I ALWAYS FAIL ANYWAY#I'm 31 and im alone in my hotel room and I'm going to fucking cry over a plastic case that cost me a dollar.#I'm just so tired of having a broken brain and I'm sick of forgetting things and losing things and trying so hard for nothing#and the only way to fix it is guess what?? remembering to take a goddamn pill#I'll be fine in like an hour i just need a good cry#but i shouldn't have to cry over something so fucking stupid over and over and over again#.....#i need to have more grace for my mistakes than the adults in my life did while i was growing up
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FINALLY
#coil#this is the final stretch unironically. all of the writing in this chapter has ultimately been about getting up to this point#this initial ending of my thoughts that i was going to do in chapter 2#also sayori's back yayyyy!#i have a catastrophic amount of editing of the parts leading up here to do because i did cut some corners here and there#and do want my quality to be consistent and to be able to make it all work#but i finally found my transitioning point#and just need to fix it all up#then i can finally just bring it home by writing additional dialogue#which will still take a while. but it finally looks like i'll be able to finish this project before the year ends#i'll probably take a small break after. or i'll throw myself head first into something else#i'll actually probably finish some other pieces of content i've wanted to make before i finish coil#but i finally got to the stopping point i've been trying to reach for weeks#things are moving along! yippeeeeee#i'll be doing a full read through again to really make sure all the quality is up to standard and that it all flows but you know how it is#i have a few other things i want to focus on finishing before the year ends on top of this so that'll be something else on the burners#but the rest of this should be a whole lot smoother from here#i want to let myself flourish for these bits so i feel proud and accomplished and good about finishing this finally#but this has involved a lot of bashing my head against a wall so inevitably that will take time as i cool myself back down#beta reading will happen soonish.
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just realised i have not written for price at all
#subject to be changed#he's a silly man i'm sure i'll write stuff for him too#in all honestly i kind of blank out when i look at price because all i need is a hug#which will fix me#mikatalks.★
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I WANTED TO SHARE THE MUSIC I'VE PICKED OUT SO FAR!!
I want to keep looking just in case I want to add or change anything but this list is already pretty packed, but as I said I would do last night, I looked for music to use on my phone and have a few songs!! All the songs I'm using are by PeriTune!! I really like their music! Feel free to check these out if you want to! in parenthesis are the albums/singles/compilation and any second set are my own thoughts or trying to explain why that song is in that section!
Mc's house theme: Catnap(Melodic Collection)
Cafe themes!
Coffee_Lounge(Sparkling Sea)
Cafe Musette(Romantica)
Cafe Seaside(Melodic Collection)
Artemis theme: TaishoRoman Theme2 Piano(Romantica)
Sanka theme: Lollipop Lane(Cuddly Moments)
Hyun-ae theme: Laid Back3(Cuddly Moments)
Davi theme: Guitar Melancholy2(Cuddly Moments)
Valeria theme: Laid Back(Cuddly Moments)
Imani theme: Afternoon Garden(Cuddly Moments)
Fritz theme: Kittens Caprice(Cuddly Moments) (I swear I didnt JUST choose this for the name guys, I PROMMY!!)
Archie theme: Silent Witness(Misty Veils)
Good end: Music-Box Pleasant(Misty Veils)
Bad end: Music-Box Sad(Misty Veils)
Cheerful moments
Piano Melancholy 3(Sparkling Snow)(I imagine it to be more of a hopeful kind of feeling)
RetroRoman March(Romantica)
Sugar Sprinkle(Cuddly Moments)
Noway3(Cuddly Moments)
Sad moments
Entangle(Dimly Chamber)
Grief 2(Dimly Chamber)
Rain Drop(Misty Veils)
Romantic moments
Piano Melancholy 2(Sparkling Snow)(Sad romance moments fr)
Alleyway(Cuddly Moments)(This is such a date theme to me idk)
Memories 5(Misty Veils)
Gentle Harp(Melodic Collection)
Time and Pray(Sacred Ode)
Scary/tense moments
Obsession(Dimly Chamber)
Creep(Dimly Chamber)
Echoed Art(Misty Veils)
#☕️-cafe sweet#yandere visual novel#male yandere#yandere#visual novel#yandere boyfriend#yandere vn#I also wrote a bit more for the script last night#which it def needed the start was pretty sudden!#word count is 3676 so far i still need to write MORE!!#I gotta work on the little pocky day doodles tonight since pocky day is so soon#i also have another ask I gotta continue working on!! but i might be slow with it#i JUST lost my dog today so im not sure if im in the best mental state for it rn sadly#BUT I WILL BE WORKING ON IT SOWLY!! Who knows it might even help me!!#but I would also like to fix arty's sprites since i am NOT liking how they're coming along!!#I said I would keep y'all updated and i am here to do that!!
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MATTHEW TELL ME LORE ABOUT THE LUXON BEACONS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THOSE THANGS. WHAT DOES ESSEK KNOW
#if i am 100% sure about one thing it's that Essek Fucking Knows#essentially my theory about essek like. as a character boiled down to a singular trait is that he is#obsessively curious about the world around him to the point where it blinded him for a very long time#he didn't consider the fallout of his actions and i also am not sure if he ever made an escape plan. he was scrambling bad with the m9#he is like 22int smart and im sure a very very good spymaster which is how he got as far as he did but#he latched onto the beacons as a fixed point of like. the reason for his isolation and lack of compassion or empathy for anyone or#anything past the absolute wretched burning need he has to Know. and in a way. doesn't that make him the most devoted to the luxons out#of everyone. do you ever think about it.#it wasn't a sunk cost fallacy until the m9 showed up with a beacon and then he started digging a grave
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