#which may not be very exciting but it makes the most sense on a thematic level To Me. at least until we get a clearer idea of what’s up

[theneighborhoodwatch]

i think there’s something very funny (and exciting) about the fact that i have seen Insanely in-depth arguments for both “the WHRP isn’t real and it’s just wally/the puppets putting up a front to get people to listen to them” and “things like the guestbook doodle aren’t actually from wally and it’s just the WHRP roleplaying as him to get people’s attention.” that’s one hell of a coin toss.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

TDP S6 poster!!!

let's see what we've got in this one! omgomgomg

this won't make a lot of sense, I'm just gushing

First impressions: there is a LOT of magic going on in this poster, and most of it seems to be Moon magic, which Aaravos is casting from his cool book.

There are moon moths everywhere!

Ethari's lotuses are everywhere too!

Some of them are breaking. Some of them have vivid colors coming from them. They could be from the differently colored crystals they all have.

There are also a large number of spirits in the picture!

There's also a red colored spirit, uh oh:

Is this one looking at the white one, do they see each other?

Aaravos has a full moon behind him, and his cube has a blazing moon rune on it. I'm not sure how many other moon themes this poster can hold, are we missing any?

Of interest, there's a thematic similarity to the key art we got of Rayla jumping into the Moon Nexus, where the lower left was dark and creepy with lost spirit arms and the upper right was lighter with the arms of her family reaching for her. In this art, those corners are again the darkest and lightest:

And then there's the man himself. His eyes are glowing bright with magic, he's got his bling on. And it's hard to be certain since we can't see his chest well but it's likely that his star is lit, as it gets when he casts magic.

Okay let's take a quick peek at what is actually happening in this poster. Aaravos is casting magic from the book. It's pouring out of the cool crescent-moon portal thingy there and swirling around.

eta: it's actually connecting the rune cube to the book, but I'm not sure which way the connection is flowing. But he seems to have plugged the cube in, and it is called the Key of Aaravos. Is this book the thing of great power that gets unlocked in Xadia?

And behind him, across the top of the art, you can see something else: a weaving of thick white strands.

What is he actually doing? Is he weaving them, or unweaving them? Is he just releasing three elves from their coins? This looks way more powerful - and destructive - than that. Is he releasing all the spirits ever? Why are there so many spirits in this picture?? Where are they from? Are they also trapped? Were they crossed over? Is he breaking the whole duality of life and death?

Aaravos wouldn't bother casting a measly little spell just to free three elves from coins just because Callum asks him to, not when he could flex stylishly and get something he also wants out of the deal.

Remember when he helped Viren get past Lux Aurea? He didn't have to kill Khessa and poison the Sunforge to help Viren reach Zym. But his method got the caterpillar a burst of primal magic so it could start growing, it stopped the Sunfire forces from retaliating, it gave him some form of payback on Aditi's bloodline, and it stopped the Sunfire elves from being able to use the Sunforge on anyone else corrupted with dark magic. Plus it netted him Pharos and made Viren trust him even more. It was indeed elegant and efficient.

So he's probably doing something on that level again here. Sure, Callum may have given him an opening to help Rayla's family out. But Aaravos will stop when Aaravos decides to stop, and not before. If Callum makes a deal to free three souls that he can't get out of their coins on his own, then Aaravos can definitely work with that.

But he thinks bigger. If Callum wants three souls freed, that's easy enough. But why stop at three? It's so inefficient. Maybe he attacks the Moon Nexus next, and makes it volcano out all the souls it's ever held and looses them on the world in some kind of spirit plague. Job still done, deal met, requirements satisfied. And while the mortals scramble to deal with his mess, he just does whatever he has planned next. All the better that he did something so big that no one can step away from cleaning it up to try to stop him!

Anyway. Art gives me thoughts. Very excited about this poster and its moontastic implications for S6!

[utilitycaster]

Level 10!

You may or may not know the drill:

Corrections about actually wrong items or major omissions are welcome. "Um, actually"-ing because I did not list every single spell or feat available or speculate the exact same things you did is not.

Because the cast usually does a brief video shortly before the episode for level-ups now (as they did today!), rather than announcing it at the end of an episode, this includes speculation and a bit of editorializing on my thoughts for the next few levels. This isn't necessarily meant to be accurate to what the cast will do, so don't quote me on it - it's just my thoughts on what I think might make sense or will be interesting. Those thoughts may very well change significantly as the story continues.

Anyway, level 10: it's a subclass-centric level for most of the players.

Chetney: His rogue level means he's blood hunter 9, which means Grim Psychometry, the coolest ability, which grants advantage on knowledge checks surrounding tragic or dark histories, with the potential for the DM to grant visions. Looking forward: assuming Chet keeps moving forward with blood hunter, L10 is a big one for him, as his speed increases by 5 feet, he gets another blood curse, and he gains a +3 (INT modifier) to all physical saves.

Laudna: She took a level in sorcerer, so she gets another sorcery point and another spell, this time up to 4th level; I drafted this post a while back and forgot to check the spell list for sorcerer so you're invited go nuts on your spell thoughts in the notes! Looking forward: Look. I've covered my mechanical concerns about this multiclass. Personally, had I been playing a character with this build from level 3 in a party with another sorcerer, I'd have stopped at 3 sorcerer levels and leveled exclusively in warlock. However, she's now 7 levels into sorcerer and so stopping that to go warlock will probably hamstring her mechanically, especially since the 6th level Undead feature is not terribly impressive. I think one last warlock level might be good for the ASI and the known spell, since warlocks have a more interesting spell list, and it makes narrative sense at this point now that Delilah is reawakened, but then I'd probably continue to take the rest in sorcerer. I AM very interested in how Laudna will deal with Delilah since I don't see her getting another undead patron to replace her, but that's so speculative that I'll hold off until something changes.

FCG: FCG gets a new cantrip, a new 5th level spell slot, and the ability to roll for divine intervention, which promises to be a fucking trip (complimentary). Looking forward: 6th level cleric spells, which he'll get at level 11, have a lot of bangers, but I am personally most invested in FCG's Heroes' Feast.

Fearne: with a 9th level in druid she gets access to 5th level spells, and her circle spells are Mass Cure Wounds and Flame Strike, both of which are excellent. As always for druid levels, Little Mister's HP goes up by 5. Looking forward: I'm assuming Fearne's continuing with druid levels, and if so, the level 10 feature of Cauterizing Flames allows her to use the death of a creature (enemy, ally, or bystander) to create a spectral flame that can either heal or harm others who enter that space. This is amazing and I'm excited.

Imogen: At level 10, she gains another cantrip and another metamagic option. I personally think subtle spell is the best one (and given the Vanguard's tendency to collar mages they dislike, could be huge if they come into conflict), but quickened, which Laudna has, can also be clutch. Looking forward: Chain Lightning does seem like an apt spell for her to take, but personally I'd love True Seeing as more interesting and higher utility while still thematic.

Orym: At level 10, he learns two more maneuvers, and his superiority dice become d10s. There are a ton of maneuvers and I will freely admit I don't know them all, but I do like the idea of Commander's Strike (let Ashton and Chet do more damage), Distracting Strike, or Maneuvering attack. Looking forward: Level 11 grants Orym three attacks per turn, which is really the most fun fighter feature.

Ashton: Level 10 is a path feature level, and we don't know the details of their subclass, so it's up in the air! I'm excited to see what it is. Looking forward: level 11 grants relentless rage; if he drops to 0 HP while raging (for the record Ashton has only gone out 3 times; two were during the Otohan fight and one in the Ratanish fight) he can make a con save to remain conscious.

[guided-by-stars]

Do you like ISAT? ⭐️ Are you looking for more media to get into? Did you stumble across this post because you’re into one of the other projects mentioned here? (If yes, play In Stars in Time!!)

I’ll be dividing this up into sections based on the content in various Acts, so spoilers for each individual section below! I’ll be trying to avoid as much spoilers as possible for the other projects referenced here, for obvious reasons, but some concepts and thematic threads will be mentioned in order to give context.

This isn't a complete list, I'm sure I'll think of some perfect things to add here after I've posted it...Also sorrry most of these are video games.

Long post, so it'll be under a cut (But PLEASE PLEASE take a quick glance at the visuals/pictures I've provided and see if anything looks cool!)

If you’ve played up to Acts 1 & 2:

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Madoka Magica ⋆౨ৎ˚⋆ ˚｡

Okay, this one's a little obvious if you know a bit of anything about both of these. It's definitely the most well known piece of media on this list. Puella Magi Madoka Magica, also known as PMMM or Madoka Magica, is a magical girl show. Directed by Akiyuki Shinbo & Yukihiro Miyamoto and produced by Magica Quartet, it centers around magical girls who have to battle witches, and only gain their powers through contracts with an alien being. This also gives them one wish. ***MINOR spoilers for Act 4 of ISAT, skip if needed...Wishes, huh? Powerful and dangerous wishes, huh?***

The writing has a lot of depth to it, the bonds between the characters are interesting, and the narrative weight they have placed on their shoulders to save the world...well!

I have an important other reason why ISAT fans may really enjoy this series, but it would spoil a lot of the series... so first, some visuals, because this show is beautiful.

Okay, now spoilers for Episode 10. These are pretty big spoilers, so avoid if you care about that sort of thing. I don't personally think it ruins the series to know about beforehand, but you do lose some of the surprise. ***Spoilers for Ep. 10 of PMMM, skip if needed: Well! It's a timeloop show. Specifically a timeloop centering one person who's terrified of loosing the person they love and prone to obsession.***

You can watch it on Crunchyroll, or you could watch it illegally on a few different pirating sites, it's not exactly obscure. There's the series, but also multiple movies. There's also a new movie coming out in 2025! Exciting!

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ 1BitHeart ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

1bitheart, created by Miwashiba and produced by PLAYISM, is a ?visual novel? I suppose. There are other mechanics besides just talking to people (mystery solving, gifting, walking), but that's the best way I can describe it. In 1bitheart, you experience the world through Nanashi's eyes, a severely agoraphobic guy. I feel like if you like Siffrin, you'll probably find him interesting. Honestly, I don't have much more to say here...just that the vibes of this game feel like something many ISAT fans might enjoy.

If you like dialogue and character building, then maybe give it a look! There's one more spoilery reason why you might find it interesting, but it's a major spoiler for BOTH games...so. I'll leave that for you to discover.

Visuals:

You can buy 1bitheart here:

☆ The Endless Empty ☆

The Endless Empty, created by Erik Sheader-Smith, is another artistic RPG game with themes of suicidality, imagery of stars, and a fascinating battle system. It's very...scrapbook diary nightmare anatomical textbook, if that makes sense. It's short, inexpensive, obscure, and delightful, in my opinion. Guys. This is good.

Visuals:

Buy it here:

𓐟◇ OFF ◇𓐟

I see a lot of people around who are into both ISAT and OFF!, which I find supremely unsurprising. Both are created by French devs (OFF by Mortis Ghost), steeped in that background, unique RPG battle system (many enemies in this game are basically Sadnesses), limited palette (and often black & white) and [killed for spoilers].

I find the translation writing fascinating, personally. There's a lot you can dig out of here.

Visuals:

Get it here:

๑ï🌧Mr Rainer’s Solve-It Service🌧๑ï

Easily the most obscure game on this list, Mr Rainer's, created by Etherane, is an incredible game that's more of a visual novel than a text based adventure. The worldbuilding of the story is fascinating, and the characters are compelling. The story ends with SO MANY unanswered questions and mysteries, which is another reason why it fascinates me so.

Like ISAT, Mr Rainer's is a game pretty much entirely in black, white, and red, about an amnesiac hooded figure who doesn't remember their past and is INCREDIBLY fucking hungry constantly, a story with multiple endings, a story about identity and belonging and being the only one of your kind in a strange land, a story about grief and life and touch and connection and cycles of pain...

Please give it a chance, I have absolutely nobody to talk to about this game. It's only 5 hours and it's only (around) five dollars...

Visuals:

You can get it here!:

If you’ve played the whole game + 2Hats (DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE 2HATS!!! I AM WARNING YOU!!!):

⚂ ⊹.🂱 Yugioh (Specifically the Toei series and Duel Monsters)⊹. 🂱 ⚂

Well! Here it is! The series about friendship, "other you's", "you see everything I do and you know how my body reacts to things", "you’re me but also not me but also another me but also you’re NOTHING like me", "facade sees facade in the eyes and Knows" and [spoilers for Yugioh redacted].

Guys if you don't gaf about card games, in the Toei series they are an extremely small aspect of the show and other games (like Tamagotchi) are similarly important!

It's got a fucked up by grief and trauma guy who does morally grey stuff and is fixated on his own past and really does just deep down Want to be Useful!! It's also got a codependent protector who really needs to be protected! It's got GAMES!!! SO MANY GAMES!!! and DRAMA!

Visuals:

(Toei)

(Duel Monsters)

Watch Toei series here: (WARNING!! THE EPISODES ARE NOT IN ORDER! BE CAREFUL!)

You can watch Duel Monsters many places, both legally and illegally.

⟳⏱︎ Start Again, duh! ⏱︎⟳

If you've only played ISAT but not Start Again (You know who the dev is...), you might think there's little of value there besides additional dialogue, but you'd be entirely wrong. Not only is this LOOP's story (and valuable to examine because of that), but the House is quite different, there's unique art, and there's different endings as well. PLAY START AGAIN START AGAIN START AGAIN: A PROLOGUE!!! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!

Visuals:

Get it here:

✧♥ Hello Charlotte series ♥✧

Hello Charlotte, also created by Etherane, is an incredible series, and one of the three most impactful game series I've ever encountered. The amount of unexpected developments that happen...I couldn't possibly understand where the game was going until everything clicked at once. Personally I think it's a masterpiece of storytelling.

Another artistic RPG maker game- so of course the art is beautiful. There's a battle system...in one of the games...yeah it's rudimentary. It's more of an exploration/puzzle game than anything. It's more of a STORY than anything. I would really really really hate to spoil this game, but what I will say, is there's a reason why I put it in the 2hats section. A very good reason. Pleaseee check it out it's so much content for so incredibly cheap. Criminally cheap. You will become incredibly attached to Charlotte.

Visuals:

Get the first game here (name your price!):

EP 2:

EP 3:

[mynonclicheblog]

One final Never Have I Ever love triangle thematic analysis

I've said this in one of my posts before, but the narrative is always going to favor what is best for Devi. A lot of what makes this show so juicy to dive into is because so much of its meaning is rooted in symbolism and higher concepts, not just the individual interactions you're looking at onscreen!

I think that's what doesn't work for some (not all) pro-Dxton anti-Ben folks. They see Paxton being respectful and kind to Devi, they see that he's the attractive object of her desire from day 1, and they see that the two of them genuinely do connect and help each other in certain ways. But when these same people look at Benvi, they only see Ben making obnoxious comments to Devi (+ others), they see childish behavior and mistakes being made, and they see them frequently butting heads due to their shared competitive nature.

And honestly? I get it. These conclusions are easy to come to when you're looking at the surface, but they don't take into account the full story that's being told.

Let's get into it. 😎👇

So I mentioned the idea of what is best for Devi. Not what is best for any regular person out there -- what is best for Devi Vishwakumar! Our girl expresses in no uncertain terms that she enjoys her hypercompetitive rivalry-turned-bond with Ben ("Ben's smart and we talk- mostly argue- for hours!" // "I don't want to break up with Ben. He really pushes me.") The fact that they fight and compete is not a detriment to their compatibility, it is actually the thing that makes him most desirable in her mind. She would not have wanted to be with him in the first place if this were not true. Their sharp-tongued communication style may not be the standard picture of a 'healthy' relationship for most people, but, well. Devi and Ben are far from most people.

Devi is an incredibly emotional, dynamic person who's always searching for another high. The competitive nature of her relationship with Ben is enough to satisfy her itch for novelty/excitement (her differences with Paxton don't hit this box), yet Ben's presence also provides a comforting long-term consistency in her life. He's seen the very best and the very worst of her and he always comes back. He frequently brings Devi back to herself, too, when she loses sight of what matters (friendships, family, sense of self, her goals, etc).

Then there's the dream vs. reality dichotomy that very much applies to this love triangle. Simple as it may be, it's accurate. I believe it was built that way on purpose because of how well it reflects Devi's relationships to Mohan and Nalini, which is the beating heart of what NHIE is all about. One (Mo/Pax) is more outwardly palatable than the other and provides an easygoing, self-soothing escapism that she needs in order to work through her grief. This person represents youth and the rose-colored past; Devi's tendency to idealize and indulge. The other person (Nal/Ben) is sharper around the edges, a bit harder to swallow, but pushes Devi to do better and supplies the support she needs. This person represents Devi's grounded reality; her time in the present and the woman she is growing into.

They are both important pieces in Devi's journey, but the themes of past vs present speak for themselves. The past is something we keep close to our heart- in this case, it's someone who has impacted us that we'll always carry with us. But the ultimate goal is to move forward from that. The central relationship of Never Have I Ever, in my opinion, is that of Devi & Nalini as they heal and grow together. In terms of Devi's romantic life, her relationship with Ben is the one that more closely shadows the series arc between her & Nalini.

I'd like to address some things by the individual season now. One of my observations watching s1 for the first time was that Paxton was usually aligned with bad things in Devi's life, whereas Ben was aligned with the good. e.g., Paxton was in some way the source of Devi's falling outs with El/Fab and Nalini; Ben is the one who repaired those relationships. These things aren't Paxton's fault, nor do I place any blame on him. They're just subtle narrative choices that send up unspoken flags saying, hey look, this isn't the right person for her. This theme was left behind in s1 for the most part, but given that it was NHIE's debut season, it planted several seeds for me about who the boys were for Devi and how they fit into her world.

Season 2 does a lot to sort out the difference in what Devi thinks she wants (Paxton) and what her heart truly wants (Ben). Yes, I'm going there, too: head vs heart. Devi's underlying preference for Ben > Paxton should be easy to spot as early as 2x01 -- if only for the fact that Devi finally bagged the hot guy of her dreams, and yet, choosing to be with him isn't easy for her. In fact, as both Devi and Eleanor confirm later, she wanted to choose Ben in the first place. Like... that is crazy when you think about it!!! Despite all the pieces falling into place for her and Paxton, and against her friends' shallow advice, she decides that she won't let go of Ben. Instead, she makes the misguided decision to date both. This isn't the kind of mistake she'll ever make again. It isn't Devi acting out because of Ben -- it signals a profound attachment to him when, all things considered, picking Paxton should have been a no brainer. That revealed everything I needed to know in order to understand that being with Paxton wasn't what she wanted in her heart of hearts.

Then, of course, 3x10 brings that all home with the stomach knots comparison. It tells us that, ever since Devi and Paxton moved into a place of genuine friendship, with him no longer on a pedestal, those romantic feelings (esp. on her part) have dissipated. As a bonus, Devi even explicitly states that Paxton was a dream! Ben, however -- her flawed reality -- is the one who still gives her butterflies. This is the result of Devi's slow awakening to her true inner self, the Devi who values realness and authenticity and loving through imperfection. It's a step closer to the complete acceptance of herself. (Notice as well that right after this point, it becomes more undeniable than ever that Ben is who she wants to be with.)

As long as Paxton was a romantic possibility for Devi, their relationship was tied to her feelings of insecurity and inferiority. Again this is not Paxton's fault -- he assures her of the opposite all the time -- but this is Devi's story, and we are shown over and over that Devi fears true vulnerability with Paxton (both sexually and emotionally). Compare this to the way she has always felt confident, seen, driven, and unabashedly herself in her relationship with Ben, even when they were enemies. At a glance Devi may appear to act more immature in Ben's orbit, but the truth is that she grows with him more than anyone else (besides Nalini) thanks to Ben's penchant for encouraging accountability and showing her that actions can have consequences.

Anyway, TLDR version:

Paxton = Devi's youth, Mohan, grief, distraction, the past, idealism, and the head (constructed ideas).

Ben = Devi's future, Nalini, healing, confrontation, the present, reality, and the heart (authentic truths).

Never Have I Ever's romantic story structure rests on the premise of these symbolic definitions. They are gospel, and while the characters will grow and change and become better versions of themselves, they will do so within the lines that are already drawn. The lines exist for a reason -- they are a narrative tool! These characters cannot and should not 'grow out' of their roles because those roles are their identities within the show's framework. The characters are exactly who they are meant to be right through to the end. They are symbols. If that's not your cup of tea then so be it! But there's nothing wrong with this writing style. In fact it's one of my personal favorites because everything is so neatly defined, yet fascinating to read into 🥰

The imperfect Ben had to be Devi's true love because her love interests are, in a way, reflections of herself. By no fault of his own, Devi always felt the need to be "perfect" for Paxton because that's how she viewed him; a false paragon of everything she wanted to be. That is the point of their story together. Her acceptance of the deep love she has for Ben (and Nalini!), despite his sometimes off-putting demeanor, is aligned with Devi's acceptance of her own imperfections -- that she is hot-headed, she can be self-absorbed, she acts without thinking and makes mistakes -- but that she is also brilliant and driven and caring and radiant, and she is equally worthy of receiving the love that she has to offer others.

Narratively speaking, it was never truly a competition.

[vacantgodling]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

hewwo thank you for asking <3 i'm gonna randomize some wips and give u a nice lil ramble lol

(1) train master chidori

in terms of me redesigning folami, i think i'm also gonna tweak her personality a bit too. i want to give her braids and slicked down baby hairs instead of the initial poofs that i had her with previously--and i think that may change which association creature/thing that i want her to be associated with bc i mostly just associated her with poodles because of her hair LOL. in terms of her personality, i originally made her a bit airheaded but i think i may kinda wanna give her more mature vibes since she's technically gonna be the oldest and most experienced of chidorky's crew. more... zakuro from tmm energy tbh. i think that may be the vibe i wanna go for for her lol.

(2) celestial weddings

beloved extremely wholesome polycule shenanigans lol. i think the one character that i know much less about their romance arc with dag is muu? muu is from denjai, which is the fourth sphere and its a swampland and marshy type of place. muu themself is the youngest of all of dag's lovers and it definitely shows in how upbeat they are and how they very much look up to dag in an almost hero worship kind of way. tbh they probably have the senpai/kouhai romantic relationship arc and ngl its very cute. muu also flaps their hands whenever they get excited about something and they tend to stumble over their words when they get excited, which is a lot lol.

(3) nondisclosure

i used to be sooo back and forth about nyseah and 17's relationship when i made the characters many many moons before; (and actually now that i think about it, most of the characters from that wip, except everything relating to owen and helios's storyline still exists in this version of the story lol. idk if i'll ever go back to those two characters but they did have a sweet relationship, it was just SO thematically different than everything else that was going on, which is how it developed into what i call now nondisclosure LOL) i actually kind of wanted them to get together only because i built up 17 to be a sort of "he's justified for his actions and he actually does care about nyssie.... somehow" back then. but i think i was also biased because he was one of the first "morally grey characters" i really ever made and i suppose back then i was much simpler in what i wanted from those kinds of characters.

when i think about nondisclosure now, 17 barely plays a role in it from what i think. tbh i think 12 plays more of a role than he does and that's because i'm obsessed with 12 and i think everyone should be obsessed with 12 but this isn't about him this is about 17 and nyssie. i think it works better for nyssie to not get with him in the end because like he seriously violated her in a way that younger me didn't really see an issue with (thanks ya and anime for not thinking this kind of relationship was bad or that it could be fixed LMAOOO... not to say that i don't enjoy making those kinds of relationships now, its just the fact that now i'm more likely to lean into the relationship being fucked up LMAO). anyway tho, mama nyssie and her brood of kiddos is the best ending for her because its the one where she's the happiest :D

(4) sixteen candles

ranger being aromantic makes so much of how he acted in all of the old chapters that i wrote many moons ago make so much fucking sense. like seriously, he was soooo noncommittal to the point of it being basically a meme, and even tho the friend i would talk with about these characters at the time helped me make a character for him to be with and i 'enjoyed' it to a certain extent, it always felt kind of off? and i think its because the person ranger will always be the closest with is always gonna be nanette, like they are inseperable and i think them defining a qpr is actually So Fucking Good for them. i'm kinda obsessed with their dynamic ngl, adn i also like the idea that ranger is just like down to fuck all of his besties and at the same time they all have a relationship with each other where that's just a thing that they do.

i really need to work on roger tho because he is so conflicted about a lot of things. not just to get him open to the fucking really, but mostly just because he has the roughest go of it relating to family and it kinda hits home for me personally a bit, so in some ways i feel like idk how i should handle it. but overall, love they. i should think about them more tbh LOL

(5) the liminal space series (overall)

chloe being involved in jenna's story is honest to god still so funny to me. like here's this "average" small town popular girl, who's popular by virtue of being normal enough and outgoing enough that everyone likes her, but having a bit of an alt style so people think she's edgy and unique and then all of a sudden she's hanging out with the town weirdos trying to hunt down a what? what did you say it was jenna? a chupa--WhAT?

and the fact that she's so taken aback with how casually jenna says that she likes her that it just takes her and her sexuality for a wild ride and at the end of it all she has to go to college and pretend that she didn't just have the craziest senior year/summer of her fucking life LMAOOO its just so funny to me.

[karliahs]

For the fic writers ask game, 17 and 18!! :D

17. talk about your writing and editing process

ohh boy! my initial writing process is to clatter as many words onto the page as i can without overthinking it too much. which depending on how much stuff i have stored up in my head, often ends up meaning writing kind of in notes form - often just the dialogue itself with no or very little of the interstitial stuff.

hunted through my drafts and here is an example:

early drafts may also be full of square brackets of things that need to go there - [concluding dialogue] etc - or just empty square brackets to mark a place where i know some kind of descriptor will need to go between dialogue

i don't always write scenes in order, e.g. several of the scenes in unwanted that are chronologically last were written first, which definitely creates more work for myself in the long run trying to make sure things flow right and make sense but sometimes you've just gotta go for the part you're most excited about

then i go through and turn the notes into real prose, fill in all the stuff that needs to happen around the dialogue

and then i edit...obsessively. there are definitely exceptions where i've thrown things up after only a few readthroughs, but unwanted for example...i think i did editing passes on sections of that upwards of 20 times? when something is in progress i'll often get myself back into the flow by rereading & editing the parts that are already written, so whatever was written first might get an insane number of readthroughs before it all gets done

a big part of early editing is syntax and punctuation - we all joke about semicolon addictions but truly first draft me is always like. every sentence is connected to every other sentence. gotta have 4000 colons, semicolons, dashes. and i don't want to dedicate brain space to reining that in when i'm trying to get ideas out so it gets fixed (...mostly) later

i read through and look for places where sentences snag, where it doesn't quite flow right, and try to fix it. this often means waiting a day or so so i can actually notice that stuff again. i look for words that are being repeated too much (catch first draft me putting some variation of gentle/gently 4 times in the same paragraph)

i spend a lot of time looking at the stuff around dialogue. the actual words said by characters come to me pretty vividly and usually don't need that much work, but when i read through a scene i'm always looking at whether there needs to be more or less descriptors filled in around the dialogue, whether it needs to be sped up by taking some out or slowed down by putting more in.

i go through trimming off dialogue tags when they aren't needed (my old work has...infinitely too many dialogue tags imo), looking for cleverer/neater ways of indicating who is talking. thinking about whether i need to describe how a character says something or if the words said work fine on their own, and looking for repetition in how people are described talking (again first draft me is like. you've gotta indicate they are talking softly! everyone all the time is talking so so softly), and in the descriptions in general.

that kind of line-by-line editing is what i spend most of my time on. because my works are relatively short, i don't need to do as much big structure stuff - though for some fics i fuss with the order of scenes a lot, like unwanted again: i changed the order of the dream sequences and shiho scenes a lot.

then a certain amount of editing for thematic coherency/making sure things come to a conclusion that feels right to me. often i'll spend a lot of time fussing with the last scenes to try and make sure that the resolution feels decisive enough to be satisfying but not like everything is 100% fixed forever, because i'm usually writing people having big emotional things that can't be fixed without like 100k words and a bunch of therapy. it's a balance.

ahhh this got so long but man. editing. it's so so much work. it's the only reason anything i write is any good. it's really exciting when i can feel myself getting better at it. i could talk about it forever probably

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

i'm trying to get better about keeping this stuff because it is really fun to look back on!

i had a doc full of offcuts from dead man's hand, because i pretty much let that conversation wander wherever it wanted to go while drafting and then wrestled it into some kind of coherency later, so here's a section of unused dialogue from there:

[animebw]

Alright, now that I’ve had some time to process, I’ve come up with some thoughts on what I want to see from Lycoris Recoil’s recently announced second season. Honestly, I’m excited: I always felt that the last episode was more of a season 1 finale than a full series finale, so getting a chance to follow up on all its unresolved threads could lead to something truly incredible. Or it might completely fuck everything up, who knows? Regardless, here’s what I would do if I was in charge of writing season 2, below the cut.

So the biggest issue with LycoReco season 1 is how unconclusive its politics end up being. You’ve got a full-on secret police of cute anime girls maintaining the illusion of peace at any cost, one of the two protagonists rejects the violence-first mentality of her organization and tries to solve conflict non-lethally, the antagonist wants to blow a lid open on the whole scam and show Japan their peace is built on a lie, and the ending resolves... none of that. Majima revealing the Lycoris’ existence to the public is somehow papered over by the flimsiest of propaganda, but both he and his guns are still out there promising to cause havoc in such a way that it can no longer be ignored, and the Lycoris organization remains basically unchanged. It’s clearly trying to say something about the conflict between giving up rights for peace and giving up safety for freedom, but it doesn’t come to any answers by the time the final episode wraps. Which is why I’m glad we’re now getting a season 2, because the inconclusive nature of that ending makes way more sense as a thematic To Be Continued than a conclusion in its own right. And if everything goes right in season 2, it’ll be a lot more forgivable considering what it helped to bring about.

So the big question is, of course, how do you follow up those threads? How do you tell a satisfying story about grappling with a fascist police state that actually, you know, says something about grappling with a fascist police state?

Well, if it was up to me? I’d go full Gen Urobuchi on its ass.

To be clear, I’m not saying LycoReco season 2 should turn into a greek tragedy and kill lots of characters very messily. That’s not the kind of show it’s been, it would be too big a tonal swerve (though I do absolutely think season 2 should be darker overall). No, what I mean is that it should borrow Urobuchi’s fascination with heroic ideals being tested and broken against the complexities of reality. If the ultimate end goal is to either destroy the Lycoris program outright or at least reform it into a non-fascist functioning community service (as it should damn well be), then both our leads, especially Chisato, will have to seriously consider what it means to protect people from harm, and what responsibility a governmental organization like this has to do so ethically. And that’s gonna demand some hard questions that the first season didn’t really get around to asking.

Consider: Chisato’s nonviolent philosophy stems from her desire to create a world where everyone can be happy. She refuses to kill, even when her target arguably deserves it, because she believes she can make a better world by solving things without bloodshed. A noble goal, to be sure, and one that puts her at odds with the rest of the Lycoris program. But, well, it’s not like Chisato is actively fighting against the Lycoris program either. She’s content to walk her own renegade path, solving problems her own way, while the organization she’s a part of continues on its bloody streak regardless. She may not kill anyone herself, but as long as she’s part of the Lycoris program in the first place, she’s still contributing to an engine of death that’s surely executing far more people than she can possibly save. And if Chisato truly wants to create a peaceful world where no one has to die, well... won’t that require doing something about the people who are responsible for the most needless death?

So if I was writing LycoReco season 2? That’s the angle I would explore. Majima’s schemes start causing chaos around Japan, the Lycoris program becomes even more authoritarian in response, and Chisato and Takina are pulled out of semi-retirement in Hawaii to help in the anti-terrorist efforts. But as things escalate and the Lycoris become even more violent and totalitarian in their efforts to keep the peace, Chisato will be forced to confront the fact that like it or not, she’s part of a system that’s working against her pacifistic goals. And if she truly wants to build a better world, then the Lycoris program in its current form needs to go. Which means not just acting as a free spirit inside the program, but outright opposing it and everything it stands for. Thus Chisato and Takina will become targets for both Majima’s terrorists and all our former Lycoris friends from season 1. Of course, plenty of those Lycoris will probably be reluctant to fight Chisato and Takina after they saved everyone’s asses in season 1, which eventually leads to a revolution from the inside as characters like Fuki and Sakura reject their boss’ orders in favor of following in Chisato’s pacifist footsteps. Eventually things climax in a big fight where the Lycoris program is destroyed, Japan is set on a course toward a less authoritarian future, and Chisato and Takina get to kiss in the sunrise of a new world.

Speaking of, Chisato’s crisis of faith could be a really fantastic way to officially jumpstart Chisato and Takina’s relationship into a proper romance. We could get a scene where Chisato’s breaking down over being a part of the Lycoris, saying she has blood on her hands and it can never be washed clean, and Takina steps in to pull her back from the brink and assure her she can still make things right. Just as Chisato freed her from her demons all throughout season 1, now Takina can free Chisato in turn. We can even get a callback to the artificial heart business, Takina can say something like "I was really the one with the fake heart... until you came along and made it real."

That doesn't account for everything, I know. You'd still need to figure out what to do with Mika, how the Lilybells factor into things, where Majima's character journey ends up. But if I was writing Lycoris Recoil season 2, that's the direction I'd take things in. Will the writers take any of that advice? I guess we'll find out in a few years.

[heterochromicnachos]

ANALYSIS! LEO EDITION!

WHAT ON EARTH IS LEO’S SEXUALITY?

(AND DONNIE’S!)

Leo has the general consensus of being Gay, and this is not without evidence. From his behavior to actual actions, there is genuine proof.

However, the thing that confuses me has to do with the scene in newsworthy.

You see, Leo is the only one with a negative reaction to Mikey’s act. Now, is this a character development thing? I doubt it.

Being attracted to men isn’t something that develops. It’s natural and is something you have from birth because your brain decides it likes another gender.

Is he over-reacting to be different? I don’t think so. Donnie and Raph are very supportive of this and Leo isn’t. Everyone in the room (except hypno) is aware this is an act and aren’t too worried about the innuendoes here. Leo knows Mikey is putting up an act to catch hypno off guard so they can stop him. Despite this, the others are still reacting positively to this (or negatively, in Leo’s case.)

A simple answer?

Leo may be aromantic. He may not be up for the kissing and the hugging, but I doubt he is also asexual.

The biggest “gay leo” fuel is the episode “The hidden city Job”.

Leo is seen to be very into guys in this episode, one of the biggest clues being a blink and you miss it scene towards the beginning.

People will most likely be focused in hueso here, as he is the one speaking and is the one with the most expressions and actions here. However, off to the left, leo can be seen staring at a large pirate yokai walking past.

Jaw dropped, eyes wide, and a very noticeable smile as he stares at the guy’s ass. Hell, the gif is labeled as “Leo checks out a guy” on the tmnt wiki.

Leo does indeed like men, he is indeed gay. However, he is not the cookie cutter gay we all make him out to be.

Leo, while a gay man (teenager), is not entirely interested in having a romantic relationship with anyone. It is much more likely he is based on sexual attraction and not romantic attraction. Especially given how he not so subtly stares at a buff yokai’ s butt.

He is entirely down for appreciating a man’s beauty, as also seen with don suave in this very same episode.

“Wow, you guys are handsome.”

Leo is very clearly attracted to don suave. While this may be because of his immaculate beauty so potent people can faint from him looking their way, he is also seen lavishing the guy in nuzzles later. Leo is 100% gay, he is just more sexually attracted than romantically. Now, is he fully aromantic?

This part can be entirely up to your interpretation, as we never see him interact with a possible partner like usagi. He very well be demiromantic, meaning he will develop romantic feelings only after he has a strong emotional connection with someone. It would explain why he is not excited about Mikey’s front in newsworthy, as there is no connection and he most likely just isn’t into it.

Now, for the other part of this analysis, what is Donnie’s sexuality?

He is clearly not aromantic, as he has a fat crush on atomic lass. (And that’s perfectly okay.)

Donnie is extremely eager to dance with his idol, even if it’s a stranger in a costume.

His line, as simple as it is, causes three women to faint. Despite the fandom consensus Leo is the one to get more bitches, Donnie clearly has a greater amount of rizz. Friendly reminder his line was meant for atomic lass and still made three women swoon.

Donnie is, if anything, only asexual. It also makes sense thematically with the twin thing he and Leo have going on.

They;re both flamboyant, dramatic, and extra. While donnie definitely has the theater kid energy, leo has a bit as well. The two of them both rely on their brothers for support, and are even right next to eachother on the color wheel. Donnie being asexual and leo being aromantic fits their dynamic, and I would not be surprised if it was the intent. There are not many scenes of donnie doing things that support his sexuality, which has lead to the conclusion of him being aroace or bi. We don’t have evidence for either, so it’s very likely he’s either bi pr straight. And that’s okay.

I can’t add anymore my iPad is screaming, I may add a part two. I dunno.

[kkgore]

Book Review for: In the Lives of Puppets

By: TJ Klune

Setting

This book takes place in a world of robots. We are introduced first to Giovanni, who has built himself a tree-house settlement deep in the woods, and there he lives with two other robots, Nurse Ratchet and Rambo, and his human son Victor. The fairytale-esque opening gives us a good overview of a world where humans are both rare and facing some sort of persecution, and a sense of the threat that the wider world may pose to this family. I found the setting instantly legible and explicable. It had a logic to it that made it both exciting and yet pleasantly predictable. That logic was coherent throughout the novel, and so there was never any moment where I felt like I truly did not understand this world or where it was taking me, and as such I was eager to carry on with the journey.

Plot

The plot takes liberally from the most prominent plot points of the Pinocchio story, as well as some seasoning from Shelly’s Frankenstein. The plot follows a fairly typical hero’s journey model, with a couple of twists which are in no way obtuse and more a revelation of a building suspicion than an actual twist. On the whole I really enjoyed how Klune managed to hit all the major allegories with Pinocchio, although some seemed a bit on the nose. The Monstro-Whale/Terrible Dogfish-Dirigible analogy was there but felt more wedged in than placed with consideration, unlike the tension within Victor, who at various times takes on the role of both Geppetto and Pinocchio, Victor Frankenstein and his Creation in ways that are skilfully woven into the plot of his journey.

My main problem with the plot is that it follows a trend in storytelling where the Hero makes large, world changing decisions on the behalf of whole nations or races and then… dips. Just leaves, and we get no more than a few lines where he hopes that the revolution has turned out well but no actual insight into what this post-revolutionary world is going to look like or how it is going to be built. There is some thematic justification to this decision in this book, it parallels decisions Vic’s father made at the beginning of the tale, but I still find it somewhat unsatisfying that in a book about how everyone deserves to be fixed in the end we only really care about two specific people being fixed and everyone else is on their own.

World Building

The world building in this novel is done organically and in a way that consistently adds to the feelings of foreboding that Klune skilfully builds throughout the novel. Klune is also very good at using his worldbuilding as an opportunity to draw parallels with, and make commentary on, our current culture. The Coachman, who runs a Museum of Human Curio’s and Curiosities, tells the Hero and his companions of the ancient human tradition of gender reveals. His utter misinterpretation of both the form and the function of gender reveal parties is a wonderful way not only to make a commentary on how history gets distorted by the victors in a conflict, but also to expose the artifice that lies in the gender reveal party as a concept.

The worldbuilding in this novel was not necessarily new, we have seen similar worlds in many sci-fi films and books such as Robots (2005) but the whimsy and charm with which it is built makes this an inviting world to spend time in.

The worldbuilding also felt purposeful, particularly when done through conversation between the characters. As we learned more about the world, we also learned more about the main thesis of the book; that everyone deserves a chance of redemption. Again, it’s not so much that Klune does anything new with the worldbuilding, but that he uses the worldbuilding as a way to talk very directly about the morality of the story, and to engage in meaningful meditation on the nature of humanity and forgiveness and individuality and so on.

Characters

The characters are the real highlight of this book. It is incredibly character driven, and it is delightful how Klune treats each character with a tenderness and empathy that is deeply compassionate towards their flaws without ever excusing them. All of the robots can be read as representative of some form of disability or neuroatypicality, and Victor is quite clearly meant to be understood as autistic. I felt this worked well, particularly as an overarching analogy for how disability is context dependant and how often the experience of disability is more to do with how society lacks accommodations necessary for a life fully lived, than it is to do with the material fact of the disability itself. I also think this worked well as a way to explore how individuals can work to maintain healthy relationship despite conflicting needs.

The dynamic between Nurse Ratched and Rambo reminds me a lot of the dynamic between Scamper and Brian in Igor (2008), and I found the way they both bounced off of each other delightful. They were a wonderful example of a relationship that is fully accepting of the other, warts and all. The fierce loyalty between these two and Victor was a strong theme throughout the novel, which worked well as a supporting thesis for the main themes of forgiveness and redemption. Ratched was well placed as a nurse droid to explain concepts like asexuality in a dispassionate manner.

That said, I did find towards the end that Ratched and Rambo’s continual conjecture of the nature of the relationship between Vic, who is canonically both asexual and somewhat sex repulsed, and Hap to become more and more uncomfortable as it became clear that this aspect of their behaviour was never going to fully be addressed. I had hoped that there would be some sort of commentary on the intrusive and voyeuristic nature of looking at real relationships through the lens of “shipping” but we didn’t really get any thing in regard to a resolution of the conflict there.

Hap is an interesting take on the Creature from Frankenstein. It is lovely to see what might have happened if the Modern Prometheus had been met with love and admiration rather than fear and shame. I really appreciate that Hap is allowed to still be a generally grumpy person, right through to the end of the novel, and that this is seen as a character expression, rather than a character flaw.

Vic and Hap have a very tender relationship, which is a joy to watch develop.

Vic himself is a thoroughly enjoyable hero to read. He grapples with deep emotional and ethical questions which are hard to resolve, without ever tipping over into either self-pitying or self-aggrandising. His reactions feel very natural and his motivations and insights are intelligent.

The supporting cast of Gio, Vic’s father, The Coachman and The Blue Fairy are all well drawn characters whose conversations with Vic offer some very poignant and insightful meditations on the main themes of this book. The only somewhat disappointing character was the Coachman, who’s motivational 180 was a bit too convenient and just bugged me for a few chapters after it happened.

Prose

The actual prose of this book is delightful. It flows incredibly well; it’s well paced and it was easy get into a groove of reading it. The only point where I was fully thrown out of the text was early on when there was mention of a “camming device” with no explanation of what that was. I don’t think this is a particularly ubiquitous piece of climbing equipment outside of the climbing enthusiast’s world and so could probably do with some explanation.

The main criticism of the prose I would give is that Klune has a habit of introducing motifs he then doesn’t really do anything with. For example, the Authority (the robot overlords) use the symbol of the cat and the fox, which is immediately identifiable as an allusion towards the Disney cartoon but doesn’t do anything beyond being that allusion. It gives no deeper insight into the Authority and if one were not aware of the Disney cartoon then there would be no clear reason why this symbol is being emphasised repeatedly. When he does use symbolism, like the motif of the clockwork heart that works its way throughout this novel, he does it spectacularly well. There is a richness to his use of symbolism that is so enchanting that it is even more disappointing when there is then such empty symbolism alongside it.

Finally, I would add that the first part of the novel could do with a few paragraph breaks. I did not find the long run-on nature of the opening to be particularly ADHD friendly and that was the only part of the book where I regularly found myself going back to reread a passage to make sure I had the right of it.

Conclusion

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I found it engaging and charming and thoroughly enjoyed the dialectical explorations of personhood, forgiveness, redemption and friendship. I found the meditations on these themes insightful and inspiring and had more than one flash of insight into my own WIP as a result of reading this.

That said I was somewhat dissatisfied with the ending. This may be a personal thing as a bit of a policy wonk, but I really would have appreciated even just a little more about how society was going to move forward after the hero’s completed their quest. That is not to say that the ending was not beautiful, it was a wonderfully understated and tender way to end the story, but I could not help but be distracted by thoughts of all the others whose lives were impacted and the uncertainty of their fate.

I would recommend this book to those who enjoy imaginative retellings of classic literature, as well as anyone who enjoys somewhat whimsical sci fi settings. I think this would be a marvellous book for a 14–16-year-old, although it does have some strong language and sexual references that not all parents will be happy with, and it is the sort of book a weird little 12-year-old who already reads beyond their reading level (like me) and hides copies of Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere under their bed (like I did) would absolutely devour and obsess over for years to come.

[berserkchip]

I read through your Noel route fic a few days ago and had a lot of fun going through it! I've always been really fond of this kind of full-length canon divergence AU that explores an alternate timeline in detail and it's neat seeing yours come together. You do a great job mimicking the prose of the original Tsukihime

Some thoughts

Digging into the stuff with Tokie is a really smart choice for this. It's an obscure bit of canon that rarely gets touched on but it absolutely should have implications for Shiki's character. By its very nature a Noel route is going to involve pairing Shiki with an older woman leveraging a position of power to take advantage of him so it makes perfect thematic sense to spend some time thinking about Shiki's previous experience with that kind of thing and the ways in which it is and isn't the same. You do a good job grappling with it

You write an excellent Akiha. She's got ice in her veins her verbal lashings are delicious. Your Arihiko is great too

I'm a little confused about the sequence of events that leads to Akiha selecting Noel as Shiki's tutor. Noel sends home a fake report card with arbitrarily lowered grades for Shiki on the first day in the hopes of getting his family to hire a tutor for him and then Akiha attempts to hire one and Noel does something to prevent any other female candidates from applying? But a lot of it seems to rely on Akiha taking actions that Noel has no control over - deciding to hire a tutor at all, agreeing to hire Noel when she’s the only candidate instead of just getting someone from farther away, etc. I’m also quite surprised that Akiha seems to actually like Noel here - I would have thought her flighty unreliable personality would be something Akiha can’t stand

The original Tsukihime mostly used its (consensual) sex scenes as an emotional climax close to the end of a route cementing the main relationship after spending a long time with Shiki and the heroine slowly growing closer. It’s kind of neat reading a route that takes the opposite tack - a ton of sex scenes early on while the characters still know almost nothing about each other. Noel’s a sexually frustrated adult woman hitting on a student, not a teenage girl looking for love so I think this makes a lot of sense for her

If I’m tracking things right Arc should have resurrected, went to look for Shiki, and gotten chased by Vlov’s minions while Shiki stayed at Noel's apartment. Without Shiki to push her into confronting Vlov sooner I imagine she’s going to lay low for a while to build up her strength and then show back up in a few days at full power unimaginably pissed off. I’ve been liking this whole alternate sequence of plot developments a lot and I’m interested in how far it’s going to diverge by the end. It’s very funny that Arc’s initial assumption that her killer is a church agent will turn out actually be true by the time she catches up with him in this timeline

As a sidenote, writing fanfiction for an incomplete canon like this is an interesting writing challenge. TsukiRe sets up a ton of mysteries for the far side and while we can assume answers to some of them (Arach being the spider DAA is obvious) there are others where it's a lot less clear what's going on and any fic is forced to choose between carefully skirting around the plot point and just making up something while acknowledging that in a few years it may be invalidated by the other half of the game. You've done a solid job handling it so far

Noel’s relationship with Ciel is by far the most interesting and complex part of her character and I’m really excited that the next part of the story looks like it’s going to start exploring it. So far Noel has managed to mostly hide the stuff that’s really wrong with her from Shiki but the further in he gets the more he’s going to realize how broken she is

Ending things here with Shiki’s vampirized classmate calling Noel out for her bullshit and getting stabbed by Shiki for it is fun. She’s really speedrunning stuff - it’s been under a week since she got hired as a teacher and she’s already fucked the student she went on an undercover mission to investigate in the first place and dragged him out at night to help her hunt vampires. Zero professionalism. It seems unlikely that she has any real feelings for Shiki either - he’s cute and she’s fond of him but at this point she’s just using him for sex and professional advancement

I’m interested to see where you’re going with all the Nanaya stuff. It’s not quite a full alternate personality but Shiki changes a lot when he swaps into that mode - the narrative voice becomes a lot more masculine, aggressive, and misogynistic, Shiki’s actions become much more aggressive and dominant, etc. You do a good job distinguishing the two. One thing TsukiRe does with this that hasn’t come up here yet is that when Shiki swaps into this mode in combat he starts doing a lot of numerical computation, counting times, speeds, distances, like his brain is automatically calculating the most efficient route to kill

This is less writing feedback and more copyediting but you should do a pass on the earlier parts of the story to edit for tense consistency. You shift back and forth from past tense to present tense a lot (this is actually relatively accurate to how VNs are written in japanese but it sounds wrong and is disorienting in english)

Some minor canon accuracy nitpicks that don’t matter but I’ll bring up anyway: The Tohno mansion is at the top rather than the bottom of a hill, Shiki only returned to the mansion once after the incident and it was so Makihisa could dismiss him, Makihisa’s study and Akiha’s study are separate rooms at opposite ends of the mansion

This is very much a matter of personal preference but the erotic scene that stood out the most to me here was actually the makeout scene at the lockers near the beginning. The tension of being desperately attracted to each other but knowing that you shouldn’t act on it and forcefully tearing yourselves apart is very hot. In comparison the later scenes where they get to actually have sex relieve tension rather than building it and aren’t as impactful to me

As a final note you should put this fic up on Ao3 so that it’s easier to find! That’s the first place most people looking for english language fanfiction will check (tragically the community of people writing english language fanfiction for Tsukihime isn’t very large to begin with but some readers is still better than no readers)

Thank you so much for reading and thank you so much for the feedback!! It brightened up my day!!

I definitely see what you mean about being confused as to why Akiha would choose Noel in retrospect, I don't think I explained that well enough. I might have relied too much on coincidence actually, since it's supposed to be Noel's plan, and the main reason Akiha picked someone from Shiki's school is because of his anemia attack during dinner. It makes sense that Noel could narrow things down on her end, but it makes less sense for her to have been able to get Akiha to pick someone from his school in the first place. Hopefully I can come up with something lolol

And as for Akiha getting along with Noel initially, it's more that Akiha was interested in embarrassing stories about Shiki, which Noel happened to have, and less actually liking her as a person. Their relationship will get really rocky as the story goes on.

It's not much of a spoiler to say Arc does indeed resurrect. I'm gonna do some interesting things with her but she unfortunately won't get too much of the spotlight this time around. Not for a while, anyway.

For writing for incomplete canon, yeah Part 2 is definitely going to have some Fullmetal Alchemist (2004) moments where I'm going to purposefully deviate from canon, and if I feel like it, I may go back and retroactively change things as new entries come out, or maybe I'll just leave it as is and have it be an AU. That's definitely going to apply to Saiki Gotou, but despite there already being some evidence of what Dr. Arach is, I'm actually going to purposefully do something different with her as well.

With Noel, she has the unrealistic and unachievable goal of "a normal life" which, to her, means getting back the old life that she had. Barring that, she at least wants something that resembles what everyone else has, so everything else is just a means to an end. You are entirely correct that she doesn't have real feelings for Shiki, but I think the fact that she took being called stupid 'so' hard because it was coming from Shiki shows that she's 'starting' to see him as more than just a pawn.

Plus, she did ultimately choose to save Shiki by calling Ciel, rather than leaving him to die or risk trying and failing to save him by herself. Noel's arc is going to center around what it even means to have a normal life, which is a big part of why I used that song to close out the chapter. She's realizing at that point just how incompatible she is with the life that she wants for herself.

I really should do like 7 or 8 more once-overs, lol. I had a deadline and I wanted to meet it, but when I started, I was doing past tense just because that's kind of the default, but I eventually realized that doing present tense reads better for Tsukihime, and went back and retroactively changed as much of the past tense stuff as I could find, and even still there were times when I'd accidentally slip back into past tense and be like "wait DAMNIT" and go back and change a bunch. It doesn't surprise me that I missed some, lol. I also notice that I have a really bad habit of repeating words either in the same sentence, or one sentence apart. Like "it's time, now. We're going now." or something like that. very bad habit, lol.

I was wondering what you thought of the extra chapter with Noel at the monastery. I put it there to try and build tension for the eventual reveal of what actually happened when Shiki's memory was blocked out that night, like "oh no did he..." But also I wanted to portray an idea of what it must've been like for Noel growing up after the French incident. There's a throw-away line where Noel thinks about what'll happen if she gets discharged, and that they'll send her back to the chapel, and she says something along the lines of "I can't survive there anymore." So I figured I'd flesh that out to make Noel a bit more obviously sympathetic, instead of having readers infer what her life must have been like based solely off of the things she says.

I also wanted to define Noel's "powers" more. In the source material, it just says she uses "sacraments" but that can be one of two things, either equipment the church gives you, or literally just magecraft that the church conveniently calls "miracles" or "blessings from god" or whatever. I wrestled over whether I wanted Noel to actually be considered a "magus" especially since that whole dichotomy technically works differently in Tsukihime, but afaik it's not as well defined as it is in Fate, so I'm actually leaning more towards Fate lore for how her powers work, and hoping it's not 'that' different from TsukiRE. I mean Melty Blood Type Lumina literally opens every round with "Open Your Magic Circuits" sooo, lol

As for AO3, I'll give it another look, but last I checked they didn't have an option to embed word/pdf files, which might mean I'd have to axe the images, which I'd really rather not. Also I think there was a 50k word limit so I'd also have to split it up into multiple chunks.

But yeah again thanks so much for your feedback!! It means a lot!

[jwhenvs3000w24]

Blog Post # 2 - My Ideal Role As An Environmental Interpreter

With the effects of climate change on our planet increasing daily, it’s never been more important for people to understand the magnitude and urgency of the issue. As an individual who is pursuing a career in Environmental Sciences, I believe I must appreciate, protect, and educate others on the impacts of the climate crisis. My ideal role as an environmental interpreter is to create a guided tour of nature that displays the real-time local effects of climate change on our environment. To create this guided tour, I will use Sam Ham’s TORE approach to nature interpretation described in Interpreting Cultural and Natural Heritage: For A Better World by Beck et al. (2019). The TORE approach stands for thematic, organized, relevant and enjoyable. This approach will help me create the tour in a way that will make the experience exciting, interesting but also educational and meaningful. Hopefully, by the end of the tour, individuals will feel informed enough to educate others on the issue.

I feel if I can demonstrate how climate change is/will impact areas people live around, they will have more incentives to take action. Most of the major impacts currently caused by climate change are in countries that usually emit the least amount of greenhouse gases. If individuals who live in the countries that produce the most greenhouse gases can see their environments are also affected, maybe a greater sense of urgency will develop within them to act against climate change.

An important skill needed to achieve my goal is strong communication skills. Climate change is a very controversial topic for some. Effectively communicating the topic will require excellent communication skills. To effectively communicate a message to my audience I will follow the National Network for Ocean and Climate Change Interpretation (NNOCCI) strategy for discussing climate change as described in Interpreting Cultural and Natural Heritage: For A Better World by Beck et al. (2019). This strategy involves maintaining a neutral tone, stating why the issue matters and the background, using explanatory metaphors to help close gaps in knowledge, using explanatory chains to help show that the issues are connected to climate change, and finally, using community-level solutions which involves explaining to the audience as citizens rather than consumers. By utilizing strategy, I hope to be able to inform individuals about climate change without offending anyone.

Other skills I will need to run my tour effectively are strong research skills and knowledge-based science skills. Climate change is a very complex process, and as a tour guide, I must be able to answer people’s questions as they arise or refer them to a source that may have an answer. Additionally, as the tour is locally based, I must have a very strong understanding of how climate change affects our local environments or how it may affect them in the future. For example, knowing how climate change can affect biodiversity, habitat structures, and species interactions in local ecosystems, and how this may affect the audience in their everyday lives, will be essential for the tour. This process will also require good teaching skills. As mentioned, the participants will hopefully feel informed enough to educate others.

In conclusion, as an individual dedicated to the field of Environmental Sciences, I am compelled to address the ever-increasing impacts of climate change by creating an immersive educational experience through guided nature tours. The urgency of the climate crisis requires a comprehensive understanding of its magnitude, and my role as an environmental interpreter is rooted in appreciation, protection, and education. Hopefully, with the creation of my nature tour, I can show the importance of taking action against climate change using local environments as examples to convey my message.

References

Beck, L., Cable, T. T., & Knudson, D. M. (2019). Interpreting cultural and natural heritage: For A Better World. Sagamore Publishing.

[emmersreads]

August Blue - Review

2/5 stars

I was drawn to this book by an inarticulable affinity for the title, probably due to its similarity to August Rush (of which this is a reinterpretation). That’s a very thematically appropriate way to approach the novel, but it did little to improve the actual reading experience.

The classical music world gets a bad rap for being dull, elitist, and pretentious, and August Blue does little to refute that perception. As the title might imply, August Blue is the depressed and cynical reinterpretation of August Rush. What if instead of an extremely corny plot about an orphan prodigy reuniting his parents though the power of music (demonstrated by the protagonist playing a rhapsody that spontaneously captures the attention and emotion of the audience), the orphan prodigy grows up as the golden child of the elite world of classical music but when the time comes for her rhapsody, the untraditional departure from the tradition of performance is immediately crushed and ignored. Our prodigy finds herself unable to perform, navigating the realization that she will have to discover the identity of her parents (and by extension herself) from the clinical language of her adoption documents.

That premise may sound engaging, but it’s because I’ve omitted basically all the details. August Blue has a bad case of literary-itis. It is at the intersection of literary fiction and classical music, two things that people who mostly don’t actually engage with them see as pretentious and boring. Unfortunately while both these art forms are more interesting, exciting, and accessible that one might think, August Blue isn’t going to convert you. This is what people who never read literary fiction but hate it nonetheless think all litfic is: unpleasant people doing boring things. It’s not great about the music either. Protagonist Elsa might as well be a talented athlete, or stock trader, or airline pilot for all her career seems to matter. My point of reference here is Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki. I didn’t like that book half as much as I wanted to but the one thing that was unreservedly great about it was how effectively it established its characters’ passion for music. August Blue spends a lot of time with Elsa teaching young students, but can’t seem to summon any emotion at all for music. It’s about people… in the most boring way imaginable.

The central emotional issue of the novel is Elsa’s identity as the pseudo-daughter of former maestro Arthur. She was materially his prized student but emotionally closer to his adopted daughter and when her identity as a piano prodigy is challenged by her failed performance, every other element of her sense of self is thrown into question as well. Her double the manifestation of her desire for a self-image that isn’t dependant on her audience; a woman just like her but unselfconscious of her desires and eccentricities. I am saying this to demonstrate that I did understand the book, that understanding just doesn’t lead to me liking it any more.

August Blue just approaches this emotional arc in such a dull and bitter way. There’s no sense of joy and beauty in the music and there’s no sense of joy and beauty in anything else. Elsa jetsets across Europe — Greece, Paris, London, Sardinia — but these might as well be different terminals in the same airport for all the interest they bring. Technically, the novel does effectively establish Elsa’s alienation from anyone else in her life but does that even matter? This book has no soul. It could be technically perfect and it would still fail because it makes me feel nothing at all. Elsa is disagreeable and unpleasant in a realistic way for someone who was a piano prodigy first and a person second, but I found myself wishing the book was a little less realistic because it’s just such an awful grind to get through.

For my money August Blue’s original sin, the thing that makes it actively bad rather than lacking in good, is its commitment to extreme stylistic naturalism. One can easily see how, in another book, this could be a unique authorial flourish, meriting (for example) a Booker prize nomination. However, here it is combined with the tendency for childish absurdity peculiar to rich British people. We got a glimpse of this with Spare; whether you’re team Harry or team Windsors, they’re both the kind of people to call their parents ‘mummy’ and ‘daddy’ their whole lives. Due to various unfortunate events (being British), I’ve interacted with a number of rich English people and they’re all goofy as fuck. It’s a very strange echo chamber — the confidence of global privilege convincing them that every thought they have is philosophical, even if it’s ‘if you’re not here, then where?’ For discerning audiences from outside the bubble, a huge amount of August Blue’s dialogue is simply ridiculous, a second grader’s first essay delivered with the confidence of a tenured professor who should have retired decades ago. It sucks to read because this dialogue is obviously absurd but the people who do speak like this have more than enough money to make fetch happen.

If you want a book about music and identity read Small Worlds by Caleb Azumah Nelson or Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki. Sirens & Muses by Antonia Angress is also about the interaction of family identity and art. A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers is a surprisingly touching exploration of feeling existential malaise when there’s nothing actually wrong with your life. Maybe you just have to be in your thirties to appreciate this book. I’m not going to wait around and find out. The nicest thing I can say about it is at least it was short.

[stormcloudrising]

One of the things I’ve discovered in taking so long to complete my Florian and Jonquil essay series is that I’m constantly discovering new things when doing research. This just happened tonight and so I’m re-blogging this chapter again to make mention of the new finds, which strongly support my thesis that Sansa will have a large part to play in the ending magical storyline.

The finds tie into this chapter’s discussion of George’s thematic use of honey in the story, how it heavily ties into Sansa’s arc by connecting her to ancient magical figures…especially Nissa Nissa, the corpse queen, and Ellyn Ever Sweet.

If you have not read the two parts of this chapter, you should read them first as what I’m writing here will have more meaning if you do. For those who have previously read the last two sections, it’s to do with why George named his ancient character Nissa Nissa, and why he might have given Sansa the moniker little bird.

Many in the fandom, including myself have argued that Nissa Nissa was a greenseer and more importantly either a COTF or human/COTF hybrid. As the Children were the ones who originally had access to the trees, I suspect that she was not a hybrid, but a pure COTF. Corpse queen, I think might have been a hybrid, but that discussion is for a future chapter.

I think that Nissa Nissa might possibly have been the first greenseer. I’ve also previously proposed that only women had access to the weirwoods, and so if Nissa Nissa was not the first greenseer, she was likely a direct descendant of the line. That’s why the idea of the weirwood having a hive like mind at its core seems to be baked into the lore. Hive minds is a theme that George has played with in many of his past writings and so him doing the same with ASOIAF as he continues to explore ideas makes sense.

In the previous chapter, I explained how George was likely influenced by several different sources when it came to giving the name Nissa Nissa to the ancient figure that’s part of the central mystery of the book. These included the Greek water nymphs, one of who was with Persephone when she was kidnapped, as well as the fact that Hades stole his queen, who is also called the honeyed one from the Vale of Nysa.

Honey is very important to my thesis, as in ancient times, it like nectar was considered the food of the gods, and George uses it in the same symbolic manner in his story. This brings me to one of the other important reasons I theorized George named his character Nissa Nissa, and that is the very weirwood like, real world Nyssa Sylvatica honey making tree. I am not going to go into much detail about the tree again as you can read all about it below. 

However, it’s in doing some further research on this tree that I discovered some additional information that I suspect might have been pivotal in George’s going with the name Nissa Nissa. 

It has to do with the full name of the tree. We’ve discussed what Nyssa means, but you will be very surprised when I tell you the meaning of Sylvatica. Put simply, it means “of the woods,” or “of the forests.” So basically, Nissa Nissa was a wood nymph, which pretty much confirms that she was a child of the forest.

Sylvatica is also the name of an asteroid belt, which may support the idea that moon meteors have something to do with the Long Night event. As interesting as these two finds were, there are not the most exciting thing I discovered.

What would you think if I told you that Sylvatica is also the scientific names for various species of birds…more specifically, little birds. These include the Zoonavena sylvatica, a spinetail; the Turnix sylvaticus, a buttonquail, and the Prinia sylvatica, a warbler, among others.

Speaking of warblers, guess what’s another name for them. You probably guessed it, but I’ll tell you. Songbird.

By T. R. Shankar Raman - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=62126758

"Think I'm so drunk that I'd believe that?" He let go his grip on her arm, swaying slightly as he stood, stripes of light and darkness falling across his terrible burnt face. "You look almost a woman . . . face, teats, and you're taller too, almost . . . ah, you're still a stupid little bird, aren't you? Singing all the songs they taught you . . . sing me a song, why don't you? Go on. Sing to me. Some song about knights and fair maids. You like knights, don't you?" A Clash of Kings, Sansa II

So basically, Nissa Nissa was a wood nymph who’s also a little bird. Funnily enough, there is even a blue forget me not flower called the Myosotis Sylvatica ‘Early Blue Bird.’ Talk about coincidences. And yet we are to believe that Sansa won’t be connected to the magical story line or play a major role in final events. 😊

Must do some more digging. Who knows what else I will discover. 

The Secret Song of Florian and Jonquil Part 7: Sansa Stark, Daughter of Coincidences and Honey Bees

June 6, 2020

Rulers of the Underworld by IrenHorrors/Deviant Art/Creative Commons

Many months ago, I ended the last chapter in this essay series by proposing that Jonquil was both the female progenitor of House Stark, and the corpse queen. I will be discussing this idea in-depth in a future chapter but before I get to that topic, I want to show how George has strongly and symbolically connected Sansa Stark not just to the ancient mystery of the corpse queen but also to the one surrounding Nissa Nissa.

To show this connection, I have to discuss a curious amount of symbolic coincidences that’s coalesced around Winterfell’s daughter. And so, while the title of this chapter probably seems a bit strange for an essay series about Florian and Jonquil, it’s actually not because at the center of those coincidences I mentioned, are bees and honey.  Those of you who have read some of my previous writings maybe familiar with this idea. 

However, this essay is a much deeper dive into the theory as I connect most if not all the dots. As is usually the case, it’s a pretty long with lots of supporting quotes. I’ve bolded the interesting parts for easy reference.

I’m always hearing that Sansa does not have a role to play in the magical side of the story and Lady’s death is usually given as proof that this will be the case. Supposedly, with Lady’s death, Sansa connection to magic was curtailed and so her role now is limited to the political side of things. To say the least, I find this to be an extremely shortsighted theory as book evidence strongly suggests that Sansa at least still has her skin changing abilities.

In actual fact, I happen to think that the killing of Sansa’s direwolf is probably one of the strongest pieces of evidence in support  of her continued connection to magic. However, I’ve discussed the important symbolism of Lady’s death in other essays, including Do Direwolves Dream of the Weirwood Net and so I don’t want to linger on the topic.

Keep reading

[today-only-happens-once]

Thoughts on “Flirting with Social Anxiety”: Roman, Virgil, Bravery, and Self-Worth

I originally started by just keeping a running list of thoughts in my head as I watched the “Flirting with Social Anxiety” video for the second time through. But then it started getting long and involved, so I elected to just make a specific post for some of the reflections and analysis my thoughts started to follow down the rabbit hole.

Obligatory reminder that this is just my interpretation of the canon work. You may disagree or interpret things differently, and that’s totally valid. These are just some of my thoughts and where this video (deemed “essential viewing” for the canon story by Thomas) fits in the broader narrative with relation to character arcs (specifically Roman). 

Without further ado, here are some thoughts on the new Sanders Asides video. Apologies for the length. Turns out, I have a lot to say. 

I first found it interesting that the beginning of the video involves a series of scenarios in which Virgil and Roman repeatedly call out Thomas’s lying. First is the movie ticket (though Thomas rightfully defends that it’s not his fault), then the store alarm, and then several other examples--most of which we do not know the actual scenario involved. Given that Virgil has been at odds with Janus repeatedly and heatedly in the past, and the way things ended in “Putting Others First” between Roman and Janus (specifically Roman expressing concern that Thomas will not know where to draw the line between selfishness and taking care of yourself), it makes sense that they would be vigilant against Thomas lying. Perhaps it’s even directly a result of Janus becoming more accepted as a part of Thomas, though we don’t know that for sure. 

I think the first big hint we get regarding Roman’s lingering and worsening self-worth issues is a brief line during the food court scene. Roman is forcing Thomas up while Virgil is pulling him back down to sit. When Virgil snaps “Roman, you’re making a mistake!”, Roman immediately shoots back, “If I am, I’ll add it to the list!” and shoves Thomas forward. And honestly, it’s not an unfounded thing for Roman to say. 

He makes a mistake in the way he treats Virgil early on, he makes a mistake trying to convince Thomas to win back his ex during the Moving On arc, he makes a mistake with the lyrics in 12 Days, he makes a perceived mistake by causing Thomas to choose a cute boy over Joan’s play in Can Lying Be Good, he makes a perceived mistake wanting the callback, and then another mistake by forcing Thomas to attend the wedding instead... The list goes on. (Is it any wonder that he says “mistakes” when Thomas asks how he used to learn things in “Learning New Things About Ourselves”?) It might also be worth noting that nearly all of these mistakes are rooted in somethin Roman wants for Thomas. 

And it is the most recent mistakes (relating to the callback) that have the most narrative weight at the moment. Even though the plot surrounding the callback has moved on, the aftershocks of its ramifications still are impacting characters--perhaps Roman especially. And this video works specifically to make that apparent. Just take a look at the reactions and camera/POV choices during the mirror monologue. 

Thomas mentions a few times in the course of that monologue the idea that he isn’t sure what he wants anymore; the first being acknowledgement that the mall is the place you go when you’re not sure what you want, and again when Thomas says specifically that he doesn’t know what he wants. Both times Thomas speaks to that, the attention is on Roman. In fact, the second time where Thomas is speaking directly about himself and how he doesn’t know what he wants? Roman is looking at Thomas, which makes sense because Thomas is really speaking about Roman when he says that. Because all the times in recent canon that Roman has wanted something for Thomas, it has backfired and it has hurt parts of himself (i.e. other “Sides”, and sometimes Roman himself). 

Though it’s also worth noting, through the course of the mirror monologue, the moments the camera/POV focuses on Virgil. Thomas makes the comment that he doesn’t know anything, least of all himself (and the focus on Virgil in that moment brings to mind that the reveal that Virgil used to be one of the Others). He also says “I know that if I don’t act on these feelings right now, I’m going to regret it” and again, we see a focus on Virgil. Because in this video thus far, Virgil is the one that has been keeping Thomas from “acting on these feelings”. 

I’m not saying anything you all don’t already know. But this is sort of a “present the evidence before you state your case” kind of situation. Heh.

The vigilance and call-outs against lying that I mentioned earlier lends a certain credence to the confrontation that Roman and Virgil have with Thomas after he exits the bathroom. The fact that it is Virgil that initiates that confrontation I think is especially interesting. Furthermore, Virgil goes so far as to use the term “deceit” when he says “will deceit continue to be the answer to all of your problems?”. That term carries a very specific weight in this series. I don’t mean to suggest (necessarily) that Virgil is speaking directly about Janus. Time will tell when the script releases, but I don’t think Virgil means “Deceit”. But I also don’t think that it’s an accident that he uses that word (or that the team wrote the script having him use that word). Given that Virgil was absent in the last video, where Janus became a more accepted part of Thomas, this confrontation about Thomas’s pattern of behavior in this episode is a useful reminder for the character of Thomas and us as an audience that all Sides of Thomas need to be kept in check once in a while. 

But relatedly, Thomas’s conclusion that “he’s better off without me” is an interesting echo of his on-going canonical crisis about whether or not he’s a good person. In this confrontation scene, Roman and Virgil establish that starting a relationship with lies means that the relationship itself won’t be a good one. The blow that seems to cause (or rather, bring to the surface) on Thomas’s self-esteem is an interesting turn--precisely because Roman is no small part of that self-esteem and the issues it’s having. I think it’s a useful and telling glance into some of Roman’s psyche that, while he may be reluctant to admit it, is directly influencing Thomas. 

And that issue of self-worth that is first suggested by the aforementioned “he’s better off without me” gets echoed directly by Roman only a moment later. When he says “one more chance at happiness squandered”, the use of more suggests that he’s not just talking about talking to a cute boy at the mall. He’s talking about all the other chances at happiness that have been squandered--most recently, the callback. The fact that Roman follows it by saying “it’s probably for the best” is an indirect reflection of just a moment ago with Thomas’s “he’s better off without me”. They are, effectively, saying the same thing there. And it strengthens the notion that the comment from Thomas is really rooted in Roman’s self-worth issues.

Which is precisely why Virgil bein the one to shove Thomas forward to talk to the boy is such a big deal. Because Virgil--anxious, panicky (in this video) Virgil--essentially decides no. No, it’s not for the best. That chance of happiness matters, and is worth the perceived risk. What Roman wants matters. And Virgil backs that idea up with decisive, meaningful action more than just words. (I will never not be emotional about it). 

And also... it pays off. And that’s so important for Roman. Because when was the last time that what Roman wanted paid off? I listed his perceived mistakes earlier. None of those, as far as I think Roman would understand, have paid off for him. It’s been a long time since what Roman wanted paid off and was seen as good by others, y’know?

I think that’s why Roman describes Virgil’s shove as “bravery”. I think it’s more than just Roman saying “I know that was scary for you and thank you for doing it anyway” (though there’s an element to that). I think Roman was afraid. I think calling what Virgil did an act of “bravery” might also be Roman saying “you were braver than I, and I am grateful for that”. Because Roman could have been the one to shove Thomas forward. He didn’t. Virgil did. And for Roman, that’s maybe a sign that someone else still thinks that what he wants can be good and right and worth it. 

(Side tangent that it’s also an interesting reflection back to that first episode when Roman claimed “rejection” as something he fears, and again in Fitting In when he acknowledges that Virgil has “been a little too familiar with rejection nad has had his fill”. Just another layer added to the continuing thematic thread about bravery and fear and rejection). 

Right now, its impossible to know for sure exactly why this video was deemed as “essential viewing” for the broader narrative of Sanders Sides. Maybe Nico will be mentioned in videos going forward, or maybe not. But this video definitely seems to have significance for Roman’s character arc and his continuing development, particularly as it relates to his worsening self-esteem issues. I am beyond excited to see where exactly this leads us, and the broader narrative implications of this key moment for Roman (and Virgil too). 

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Hi Rachel! I've recently discovered literary fiction is what my writing style most closely aligns with, but with that I realized a problem I find while writing is lack of conflict due to larger emphasis on character relationships and prose. Idk if you also have this struggle??? And do you have any tips for generating conflict / stuff to propel the plot forward? Thanks in advance <3

Hmm, I understand this problem but I may not give the best advice for this since I struggle with conflict! I will try my best!

If I'm thinking about my own experience writing a character-driven narrative where conflict is internal rather than external, what I like to think about is exacerbation - is there something one character does in their relationship that creates a reaction within the other party? Really not much "happens" in Feeding Habits (in terms of external conflict - physical things occurring TO the character), especially in Harrison's POV. So in order to keep momentum up in the story (otherwise it would just be a little aimless), I surround the story around a "theme", in a sense that is exacerbated by events in the story/causes more to occur.

Let me share the outline for one of his chapters so this makes more sense! Keep in mind, as I write, I naturally come up with the overall theme of the chapter -- this is not something I do before, but if you’ve never written around theme, thinking about one before might be helpful!

Chapter Six: Blood Sister

TW: death

The overall theme: connections between two people can be immutable even if they are forever separated (their bond is inevitable; indissoluble).

Scene A:

Harrison returns to his apartment after running errands. His mother preps for a dinner as Harrison has invited his old friend Reeve over.

This is an introductory scene. The purpose is not thematic yet, but merely a place to get there.

Scene B:

Harrison removes a litter of kittens from behind the drywall. One of the kittens is dead. Strangely, a German Shepherd puppy is also in the litter.

This is the first hint at theme, and therefore conflict (I lace these two things in a character-driven narrative since the conflict is largely internal. Internal narrative leaves a lot of room for reflection which IMO is where theme lies).

Scene C:

Reeve appears in a glamorous blur and makes an interesting first impression on Suz who seems slightly stunned and endeared by her

Also more of an introductory chapter, though we see the thread of indissoluble connections be brought up when Reeve suggests she and Suz are blood sisters (this is how we make a pretty conflict-less, introduction scene more interesting as we give it thematic texture that reappears later).

Scene D:

At dinner Reeve confronts Harrison about his “straight-edge” lifestyle since moving to NYC and he realizes her judgements about his life being monotonous are very true–he lacks purpose.

I wrote this scene to be the first trigger for Harrison that his life without Lonan (aka the person he is immutably connected to) has been directionless, and so far from authentic. It’s just a dinner scene -- the dialogue gets tense at times, sure, but the main thing driving the conflict is this impending sense of Harrison realizing the theme of this chapter - I understood that when he acknowledged that, the chapter would end. So this is an exciting turning point!

Scene E:

Suzanna confronts Harrison about not telling her Reeve is in fact Lonan’s sister. Suz knows the boys’ relationship is complicated, and plays Devil’s advocate by outright asking Reeve how her brother is. Reeve, who hasn’t seen Lonan longer than Harrison, has assumed Lonan lives with them or is close by, and feels semi-betrayed that Harrison has kept his whereabouts a secret.

This scene exposes something publicly (so not just contained within the narrative) about Harrison: he’s trying so hard to forget his relationship with Lonan (despite how impossible this task is - avoidance won’t work) instead of addressing their connection and moving forward. In many ways, this scene shows how Harrison has willingly stuck himself into a cycle where he can’t move on from his bond with Lonan (if he did, he wouldn’t have lied to his mother & to Reeve) because he doesn’t actually want to.

Scene F:

Reeve and Harrison drive to a garden and he’s reminded of attending a party (which almost directly mirror events Lonan partook in months previous).

This is a critical scene because Harrison relives (almost exactly) the same events Lonan did while trying to avoid doing exactly this. This is setup for our mega thematic reveal in a bit.

Scene G:

Harrison makes his thematic realization after the party

This is that paragraph (CW: alcohol):

It was only later, when he stumbled, bloody knuckled, through their front door, stepping over partygoers and martini glasses, that he understood. He hadn’t come to the party thinking about Lonan but managed to attract the same people. He hadn’t drunk the magenta liquid thinking about him but managed to exit the house stumbling, as he did, his knees knotted like a newborn lamb. There was something inconceivably indissoluble about them—their bond mirror-like, one making one decision, and the other mimicking it with vigour, unknowingly inseparable.

This is the climax of the chapter -- the moment the other scenes before (and after) worked up to. 

Scene H:

Reeve and Harrison perform a water burial for one of the deceased kittens.

This is sort of the falling action of the previous scene -- now that Harrison has realized his past actions were all because of this bond he has with Lonan (the theme!), the way he reacts in the fictive present is informed by this info. This scene provides thematic richening: we got the theme in scene G, scene H allows us to digest it and see how that manifests in Harrison’s present life (it results in self-destruction oops).

Scene I:

Harrison wakes up in the cold, very drunk, and Reeve is gone. A security guard looms over him. Harrison asks the confused man if he thinks he was separated at birth. He isn’t referring to feeling like he’s been removed from a sibling bond, like the kittens, but a deeper, “indissoluble bond” formed between two people (like the kittens and the puppy). This connects to the title “Blood Sister” as Reeve suggests she and Suzanna may be connected in this way, to the kittens, and to Lonan and Harrison.

This is the final little resolution bit but probably the second most important moment in the chapter (after the thematic revelation). This is a moment of admittance. Finally, Harrison accepts that what he’s realized is true and that’s it’s impacted how he’s lived his life the entire time (despite not thinking it did).

So essentially, the conflict comes from a larger theme that the character must grapple with, and they grapple it through events that are influenced by that theme. You can also think of it as the “core” of the chapter -- something everything revolves around. This helps a LOT when I’m writing chapters where not much happens/most stuff is internal.

Hope this makes sense but feel free to send a follow up if this makes no sense!