#which makes it less ugh a bot and more bot???

[mistbornhero]

If it makes anyone feel better, I can confirm that there's 0 scanning going on. There's tons of people who post non-fic fanworks to ao3 (art, vids, podfic) and I many of those works got the "scanned by AI" comments. (I'm also pretty sure this bot isn't as active anymore? The Webnovel one might still be alive, but I don't think I've heard much about the AI one, lately)

Quick PSA, if you get one of those "Work scanned, AI use detected" comments on AO3, just mark them as spam.

Some moron apparently built a bot to annoy or prank hundreds of authors.

There is no scanning process, your work doesn't actually resemble AI writing, it's all bullshit. Mark the comment as spam (on AO3, not the email notification you got about the comment!) and don't let it get to you.

[tinydefector]

*careless whispers playing* swerve: so this one’s part of a human mating ritual. It’s sad, cliche melody and themes make nearby humans pitty the performer and assume they get none. The dim lighting means the humans can’t tell it’s not night time, and makes them more aroused.

-bumpinSUV

Caught out - Human Effects

Warnings: unrestricted internet access

Word count 2.3k

I had so much fun doing this and working it into the human effects series so I hope you enjoy it. Bumpin, also I can't wait to do the other one you sent in.

Masterlist

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__________

Rodimus pinches the bridge of his nasal ridge as he vents loudly. "Swerve, for the last time, that song is not actually part of human mating rituals. Please it's so stupid" he exclaims in annoyance. Since they got the music set so the crew could listen to the collective Spotify on the human crews request, Swerve had been raving about the song Careless Whispers.  

Meanwhile Whirl is cackling, their one optic on the mini-bot as he sways ridiculously to the music. "Aww c'mon Roddy let Swerve have his fun! I think it's working, look, those humans will definitely feel sorry for ol' Sweeeevy." The helimech cackles. 

Swerve ignores them, enthusiastically crooning along at the top of his vocalizer. "Oh I...I'm never gonna dance again... guilty feet have got no rhythm!" He attempts a crude mimicry of human hip shaking that has several crewmembers watch in mixed emotion.

Rubbing his chevron tiredly, Rodimus cuts in. "Swerve. Buddy. For your own good, please shut it off before the humans see you making an aft of yourself, plus I know for a fact that Daniel would start withering into a husk if he heard that song." 

Whirl creases with laughter at the minibot's antics as Rodimus shakes his helm, wondering if he can find the will to survive another one of Swerve's "cultural exchanges." 

Megatron walks in looking rather tired and ready for a drink when his optics land on Whirl and Rodimus. He pauses in the doorway as the chaotic scene before him registers - Whirl cackling hysterically as always, Rodimus with an expression of long-suffering exasperation, and Swerve... dancing? to some strange organic music. One eyebrow plate arches high, and the barest ghost of a bemused smirk tugs at one corner of his mouth. 

"I leave you all alone for a few cycles and return to find the Lost Light devolved into complete anarchy, it seems." His rumbling voice cuts through the din, Whirl just slams his claws on the table as they maniacally laugh, not an ounce of shame. Rodimus heaves a sigh. "Swerve was just...educating us on human courting rituals. Apparently that song is a big part of it. Which I would argue is a lie! " 

Megatron's other brow joins the first. He regards the tiny bartender with an air of dry amusement. "Is that so. Well, carry on by all means. we wouldn't want to disrupt such... illuminating cultural exchange. But do try to keep the debauchery contained, yes? There are still functioning mechs aboard this ship." 

With that and a brief nod to Rodimus, signalling the matter settled, Megatron turns on heel striding purposefully toward a table hidden in a corner so he doesn't have to deal with the chaos. He requires nothing less than a stiff drink After the cycle.

Rodimus, on the other hand, looks close to joining Whirl in hysterics - though from frustration rather than mirth. One hand grips his audial fins tightly as if to block out the noise. "Swerve, please, for the love of Primus, stop. You are NOT courting humans like that!" 

At that moment Whirl's gazing gaze Shifts to Rodimus. “ I don't see you getting any Captain,  what makes you think you know what the fleshies like, don't listen to him Swerve” calls back loudly Before Rodimus decides he's had enough. throwing his servos up. "Ugh, forget it. I'm joining Megatron for engex, have fun." And with that, he stalks away muttering about finding more suitable crew members to share drinks with. 

But Whirl is having too much fun, falling over themself in mirth. "Go Swervy go! Shake that fine aft, get you some Earth tail! Yeaaah get it!" His exuberant hollers only encourage the bartender, who throws himself with renewed vigour into his poor approximation of human dancing. 

After Swerve's crude example of a dance other bots begin inquiry about it. Some are interested in learning about humans. "But where did you learn about Swerve,  I need sources" Skids states while his optics narrow on Swerve. Nigthbeat sat off to the side not paying much attention. As Tailgate, Nautica and Skids inquired for more information, they doubted he had asked any of the human crew members on ship about such a thing, plus it had been a while since the ambassador or any of the crew had been to the bar recently. 

Swerve shifts nervously under the intense gazes boring into him from Skids and the others. His visor brightens as he attempts a shrug. "Oh you know, around...the holoweb. Places, the internet"

Skids narrows his optics further. "Uh huh. And when exactly were you surfing the human internet from the Lost Light?" He crosses his arms, expression clearly stating he isn't buying Swerve's story. 

Tailgate tilts his head curiously. "But didn't you say you learned it from a human, I don't think they'd teach dancing like THAT..." 

A sly grin spreads across Nautica's faceplates. "Unless...were you watching those strange organic videos? What were they called again - tiktoks?" 

Swerve visibly blanches, waving his arms wildly. "Wh-what? No no, of course not! I would never -" 

But Cyclonus, who has been silently observing, speaks up then with quiet certainty. "He's lying. He has had no contact with humans outside of when they come to the bar, he hasn't talked with any of them except Nadia on the rare occasion” The bartender deflates completely as amused chuckles rise up around him. Nautica pats his shoulder kindly. He had been called out for not really talking with the crew, but in his defence he didn't know how to socialise with them outside of serving drinks. 

 "It's okay Swerve, next time just acutely get your information from a human, doubt the ambassador would like you going around spreading misinformation" 

After a moment of processing Rodimus looks up in shock. "Wait a klik We have access to the human internet!?" He asked in shock, when had that happened who set it up and why wasn't he informed. Beside him, Megatron pinches the bridge of his noseplate wearily. "I had hoped to keep that information need-to-know, Rodimus. But yes, Brainstorm installed a transfer several deca-cycles ago to...broaden cultural understanding, and make it easier for a cross line from the holo to the internet so information trade was easier." 

Skids pipes up helpfully. "I believe his exact words were 'for science!', but we all know he just wanted to look at more theories about humans and their social behaviour. Fleshie fragger!." He sings out the last part which makes some of the other mechs laugh. 

Tailgate gasps excitedly. "Ooh, that's really cool, I wanna see the cute Earth pets!" It makes Cyclonus chuckle softly as he watches the smaller bots' optics widen in wonder. 

Rodimus throws his servos up. "Why am I always the last to know about these things?! As Captain I should be informed of any new ship systems or tech!" He grumbles, directing a half-hearted glare at Megatron. The former warlord merely sips his drink placidly. "Think of it as a learning experience in responsible leadership, Rodimus. If you would have read the highlighted parts of the report like i had asked you would have seen that we did this installation"

Rodimus grumbles to him as he takes another sip of his own drink, still glaring at Megatron over being called out on his neglect of the reports, he had been doing more reading of them but it did get to a point where he wanted to slam his helm into a wall.  

It makes Sunstreaker freeze for a moment, realising that it meant the humans most likely had access to their own sites. "Wait if we can access their internet does that mean they now also have access to our holoweb, sites and forums?" He asked rather worriedly, Silence falls over the group as Sunstreaker's question sinks in, optics widening in collective horror. they all know exactly the kind of classified, compromising or just plain embarrassing things lurking on Cybertronian networks. 

Hound is the first to break the quiet. "Primus, can you imagine if the humans found some of the stuff posted on ProwlFanForums? Or some of the theories on WireTap, Commlink?" 

Blaster groans, faceplates pale. "My holovids from Vos Carnival are still online! If they find those videos Primus..." He wasn't expecting this but if one of the humans found it, one of the crew they would know he had shown them a few photos of his cassettes and it wouldn't be hard to put too and too together.  

Rewind sits back watching the chaos in amusement. “It be a shame if they saw how many of you are interface Feral scrapers” he teases which makes even more bots panic. 

“Frag, frag, frag, I need to delete my profiles, I never existed!” 

“Oh Primus, of any of the thirteen listening,  please erase myself”   

“No, no, they can't know about those sites can that, they wouldn't think to look that far!” 

 

Rodimus hurriedly waves his servos. "Alright everyone stay calm! We'll get Brainstorm on containment ASAP. In the meantime everybody delete and scrub everything questionable from your personal archives. I mean it!"

A flurry of typing ensues as bots scramble to protect their digital dignity. Only Megatron seems unfazed, a corner of his mouth quirked in dark amusement. "Humans have proven resourceful. I suspect they've seen far worse than what little dirt we may have to offer..." 

Rodimus shoots Megatron a glare. "Thanks, that's really reassuring Megsy." The chaos continues as a new threat looms for the Cybertronian populace - human seeing their thoughts, questions and information.   

Megatron turns an optic on the fretting collection of Mech's, interest piqued. "So tell me, precisely what sorts of... delicate matters have you been discussing regarding humans?" 

The bots abruptly find other places to look, fields filled with nerves and not-so-subtle guilt. Trailbreaker coughs awkwardly. "Youknowjust,casualobservationsandcuriositiesSir." 

Rodimus, clearly wishing to be anywhere but here, attempts distraction. "It's not important Megs, let's just focus on containment -" But Megatron is not so easily deterred. His crimson gaze settles on Blaster, who shifts stiffly. "I do believe there was mention of a particularly risqué forum... One addressing compatibility between our species, was it not?" 

Blaster tries to look anywhere but Megatron, clearly feeling uncomfortable under the ex warlords stare. “It was merely an... academic discussion of theoretical interspecies relations." Suddenly Whirl howls with laughter. "Oh Primus you should see the threads about 'interface ports vs human orifices'! They go on for orns!" It makes all the bots helms snap to the helimech.  “SHUT UP WHIRL!” A collective yell comes from the panicked Mech's. 

A collective groan arises as Megatron rolls his optics, he had been expecting something else but this seemed quite tame compared to what he was expecting. After all, he had seen what floats around on the human internet and had the unfortunate experience of coming across a lot of stuff. In the end the human Ambassador had been rather embarrassed and apologetic over it. 

Megatron can't help but let out an amused huff of ventilation at the collective embarrassment of the Autobots. Clearly they had yet to witness the depths humanity plunged into given anonymity and technology. "Trust me when I say your little... theoretical discussions would barely cause a ripple among humans. I have borne witness to the unfiltered fleshling internet, and what I glimpsed there was far more depraved." He recalls with bemusement the memory file of Ambassador mortified face.

Skids eyes him curiously. "Really? What kind of thing could be worse than interfacing forums?" He grumbles dragging his servos down his faceplate. "Let's just say their proclivities extend far beyond our frames. Entire databases dedicated to the debasement and degradation of simulated strangers. Acts I'd not care to repeat lest they scorch even my memory banks." 

The collection of Autobots, Decepticons and neutrals recoil in mingled horror and fascination. Whirl cackles gleefully. "And to think we thought WE were deviants! Humans have us beat tenfold!"

Rodimus shudders violently. "Okay deleting that file dump NOW before it ends up in human hands." 

Megatron turns to Swerve. "I would recommend actually looking up the song before trying to perform, it isn't what you believe, and under no circumstances is anyone allowed to play the song Cbat. I refuse to be responsible for what happens by cybertronian stupidity" he explains Megatron pins Swerve with a stern glare, ensuring his message has been received. The tiny bot nods frantically, clearly intimidated. Satisfied, Megatron turns on a heel striding from the bar, Autobots parting hastily to avoid collision with the imposing warlord. 

No sooner does he exit than there are shouts and whoops of laughter from within. Whirl's distinct cackle rises over the din, triumphant and slightly manic. "Oh sweet Primus, humans are WAY more glitchy than I even dared dream! Swerve, you've gotta see this slag, they call it the 'CBAT Incident'!". 

“Frag Whirl dont you ever listen to what anyone says!” Nautica huffs as she tries to make herself seem not intrigue in hearing about the story.

__

“ Hey Millian come take a look at this” Nadia coos tho her friend. The Swed turns and makes their way over to have a look at what Nadia was looking through. “Is, is that a Cybertronian human fucker poll!?” They state in shock only to start wheezing in amusement. 

“Oh you know it Sweetheart, but wait it gets better, seems the bots didn't check to make sure their personal files didn't transfer when we did the Interstellar holo/internet upgrade and by Allah is it juicy” she hums to Millian who quickly sits down eyes glued To the screen. 

“Does anyone else know about this yet?” Millian asked in delight. “Not to my knowledge,  I've been enjoying myself making a little QNA blog for bots to ask questions about humans, and boy has it been fun giving miss information to them.” She flashes Millian a smile while in turn laughs. 

“Oh I'm so down for this, lets see what we can find, Nadia you have just gifted me the best presents ever, I'm about to have a field day reading through these” they press a quick kiss to the side of her face before quickly typing away looking throight the multitude of different groups and forum's they can find. 

________

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[pico-farad]

aaaaaaa omg you've finished vrains?? what did you think of s3? any fav moments? :D

I've got a lot of thoughts and I'm working on a huge Vrains post (actually, two huge Vrains posts)! S3 is interesting to me, it's understandably a mess, but it also has some of Vrains's best writing.

My favorite episode(s) of Vrains are the Ai vs. Pandor duel.

"Yeah we could duel in virtual reality.... but we could also duel on top of a moving plane"

yesss... YES......!! Now THIS is Yugioh. 

The line writing is surprisingly good, and Ai's VA does a fantastic job with it. The grief and resentment that sit just beneath the jokes serves to make the whole thing more bittersweet. I have some concerns with how sharply they veer Ai's character, but this duel sold me on it.

What gets me about this duel is that these are two people who like each other. You can see it in how they talk to each other, how Ai can't help but be honest, coming close to confessing everything to her.

Pandor: Have you given up on co-existing with humans? Ai: Seems so. I've already hurt humans, so I don't think they'll forgive me. And I have no intention of turning back. Pandor: You're going to exterminate humans? Ai: I don't intend to, but it may end up that way. I don't know, myself. Pandor: Is it impossible for humans and AI to co-exist? Ai: I don't know that either. It was impossible for me. But I won't say it's impossible for you, or for future AI that have free will. As long as there is free will, I can't deny that possibility, that everyone's lives can be one. All I'm saying is that I couldn't co-exist. Pandor: Ai... I sense an incredible sadness from you. Ai: Ugh, stop with that... I don't want anyone to know that. Except for one person.

Unlike all of Ai's other duels, he doesn't have any resentment or mixed feelings towards Pandor; he sees her as kin. That's why their interaction feels so tragic, because Ai is the last of his kind (Roboppi isn't quite self-aware yet) so he gets this opportunity to talk with someone who's like him, someone who is not complicit in the deaths of the Ignis, but they're on opposite sides, and he has to kill her. Which probably feels like how he had to kill his friends.

And Pandor is the only character who sees Ai without betrayal or defensiveness clouding their judgment -- and she sees through him completely. It's amazing. This damn therapy-empathy bot just won't stop seeing into his soul and telling him to stop hurting and killing himself -- while they're both trying to kill each other. FANTASTIC. THAT'S WHAT I LOVE TO SEE.

He wants her to be free from being controlled by humans just as much as she wants his salvation. But they have to fight each other, and die, while the humans all get to live.

And on then on top of being deeply tragic, this is also the funniest episode in Vrains. Because tragedy makes comedy funnier, and comedy makes tragedy sadder.

BRO JUST WANTS TO SEE TOPOLOGINA NAYBEE.

I definitely think that if season 3 was allowed to be its full length, we would have gotten more from Pandor, maybe even see her join Ai's side. After all, it's a classic Chekov's gun to have Revolver of all people create a sentient AI and be like "it's fine, I programmed her not to betray humans." Bruh, of course she's going to betray humans. It's as classic as the story of Pandora's Box itself.

Anyway, if you want to know my top Vrains duels, they are:

Ai vs. Pandor

Spectre vs. Lightning

Yusaku vs. Revolver (s1 finale)

And my favorite characters are 1. Ai, 2. Roboppi, 3. Aoi.

To be honest, at the end of season 2 I was feeling pretty bummed about characters I liked at first becoming less interesting as time went on. I was fully prepared with the joke about my favorite Vrains character being Hatsune Miku, mostly on the virtue of "you can't write 10000 words about a character and say you don't like her." But these two cat-coded AIs snuck in at the last moment to charm me.

[harukamitsuki]

I realized that I don't hate Bakugou, I just think he's a boring character, besides being a complete Gary Stu. I don't understand how the fandom thinks he's the most complex character, like even Tokayami manages to be more interesting than him. Besides, his fandom treats anyone who doesn't like him as if they're committing a mortal sin. What's your opinion?

If his fandom didn't actively undermine everything he did, if they weren't trying to shove him down our throats, I wouldn't hate him as much. And if Horikoshi didn't try to shove him down our throats, I would probably even enjoy him to some extent.

I don't like him as he is now. Or was, considering it's over now. He was abusive as hell, loud and obnoxious, rude to anyone and everyone, didn't change at all, and most of all, the narrative bends around him.

Characters who would hate him somehow adore him. Characters who wouldn't take his shit from anyone else somehow adore him. Physics don't work the same way for him. His quirk has, like, four awakenings. Death literally doesn't stick around for him.

He's not allowed to work for anything - it's given to him, which makes it hilarious when Aizawa, aka Horikoshi's mouthpiece, justifies everything he does with 'he works harder than everyone'. Especially when Izuku is right there, who worked for ten months straight just to get a shot at placing high enough for U.A.

The world bends for him, because Horikoshi didn't want to put in the effort of, ahem... writing a good, compelling character.

And, no, I don't mean good as in morally good. Characters don't have to be good people to be good characters.

However, if the character is both a bad person and badly written, people are far less compelled to enjoy them.

Prime example: Doflamingo from One Piece. He's a bad person, but his writing is so good that people either love him or love to hate him.

Bakugou doesn't even work in the 'meant to be hated' spectrum, as he's not. Horikoshi genuinely wants people to love him, without realising that he makes it hard to do so with his terrible writing.

Look at Shou Tucker from FMA - 2003 and Mangahood. Everyone, and I mean everyone, hates this piece of shit. We would were all happy that Scar filled him, and we wish he was real just so we could disfigure his face. He is hated universally, because that's what he was supposed to be.

Ugh, I'm going off-subject.

Anyway! Back to the ask!

Bakugou is a very boring character. The only reason people think he isn't is because of his 'redemption arc' and his angry personality. Those two things are generally what people point to if you try to tell them that he's boring.

What they don't understand is that the 'redemption arc' doesn't work, because he never even reformed himself, nor did he work for it. It was all handed to him.

His anger is very generic, but it stands out due to everyone in 1-A either being very cheerful, very bland, or emotionally stunted. Not even Endeavour is eternally angry; most of the time, he feels very cold, ironically.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: he would have been more enjoyable if he was left behind post-Battle Trials, as was the original plan. It only changed because Horikoshi drew him crying.

As a minor antagonist, he would have been great. If his redemption happened in the background, I wouldn't have cared. Personally, I probably would have actually liked him if he stayed as an antagonist.

His fandom are so obsessed with making him seem like the best character ever. The irony is that most of them hate Endeavour, despite them being incredibly similar.

I know that it's not all Bakugou fans. There are a lot of them, but there are also a lot of them who just want to keep to themselves and just enjoy their fav without trying to make everyone adore him. To a lot of people, it doesn't matter if you hate or dislike Bakugou.

But, to a lot of them, it does. There are people who spend about 2k on bots to make sure B*kuD*ku wins the polls, or people who spend more to make sure Bakugou wins the popularity contests.

Heck, there are people who were crying over IzuOcha being canon, despite all the hints that it was canon since EPISODE FOUR. I thought it was obvious that IzuOcha were the canon ship when they first met and Izuku was flustered, despite him never getting that flustered over other girls.

But, nope. They're crying and blocking Horikoshi and harassing people over IzuOcha being canon. They claim that B*kuD*ku was canon and Horikoshi queerbaited them, when he really didn't. They convinced themselves that it was canon and blamed everyone else that it didn't happen.

Man, this is why Hiroshima didn't make NaLu canon in Fairy Tail.

Bakugou fans concern me, because they seem to not realise that things not being canon is the reason fandom exists. Fandom exists because people, (specifically white women watching Star Trek), asked themselves, 'what if'.

'What if' these two characters k-k-k-kissed!? 'What if' this character survived? 'What if' this happened?

Bakugou fans just don't seem to understand that.

Honestly, just writing him off as a boring character and nothing more is better for your mental health.

(Just don't tell the Bakugou stans. They'll gut you alive.)

[ultram0th]

Tyler Posey had set up his OnlyFans as a way to reconnect with his fans after Teen Wolf ended. It worked for a while and he'd initially seen a score of followers who thirsted after his hot bod. However, the minute his past costar, Tyler Hoechlin, released his, a majority of his followers flocked over to the latter's profile.

Tyler Posey was determined to win back his large follower count, so he began to pose lucratively and show off much more skin than he used to. It began to work and he even started to wear less and less.

Tyler was about to take a picture of himself in some green cut off shorts when an app popped up on his phone: EARN A HIGHER FOLLOWER COUNT!

The actor figured that it was probably some service that had a lot of bots follow one's account, but still, he needed that higher follower account. He couldn't come in second to his costar!

Tyler happily typed in his info, along with his payment, and clicked "Submit". He expected several bots to start popping up in his follower count, however, instead the stud felt like his body exploded.

BWOMP!

The first thing Tyler felt was an immense weight, almost as if he were much heavier than before. He could feel his arms rubbing against his sides and his meaty thighs pressing together in a manner in which they never had before. His head was spinning and as he tried to piece together what had happened, he could faintly hear his phone ping nonstop with notifications.

"Ugh," he groaned, rubbing at his head. "What happened?" The actor paused at the sound of his deeper voice. He cleared his throat and tried again. "What's going on?" Still, his voice sounded as if it'd lowered by several octaves.

Tyler made his way towards the bathroom, bristling as his new movements. His thighs rolled over each other, and he could feel his gut jiggle with every step he took. Once he made it in front of the bathroom mirror, the actor jerked back in shock.

"Fuck!" he gasped at the older, much beefier reflection he saw. He was older, probably in his mid-forties, and he was huge! All of his muscles seemed to have inflated to twice their original size, yet they were covered with a thick layer of fat giving him the appearance of an offseason bodybuilder. His musclegut was massive and it protruded far out in front of him, his entire body covered in manly hair.

As the altered Tyler stared at his bearish reflection, he continued to hear his phone sound off with loads of notifications.

Snapping him out of his daze, Tyler's eyes widened when he looked down at his phone that was in his beefy paw. His large gut dropped at the numerous photos of himself in his body in compromising position after lewd position. There were photos of him tugging on his inflated nipples, snapshots of him in skintight thongs that left nothing to the imagination, and tons of clips of him impaling his rotund hairy ass on the largest dildo he'd ever seen. All of these fell under the new profile name: Wolf Daddy.

All of his panic evaporated into think air as soon as he saw his follower count through, his heart racing when it was in the millions.

"Holy shit," he breathed in his deep voice, running an admiring hand over the curvature of his big belly. He held up his phone and started to record, a wide grin on his older face. "Wolf Daddy's got a lot of stuff to show ya, so make sure to subscribe!"

[autobots-in-training]

Question for the big kids. Why did the war started?

Sideswipe- UUUUUUUGH i hate history class. Sunny, you take this question.

Sunstreaker- idiot.

Sideswipe- I heard that!

Sunstreaker- I meant for you to hear it. Now shut up, the smart twin is talking!

Sideswipe- Neither of us is the smart twin.

Sunstreaker- Theres only two of us! One of us has to be the smart one, and its me!

Sideswipe- Yeah yeah whatever, just keep it down, im gonna play Zelda.

Sunstreaker- ANYWAY! Basically, the Functionists were in charge, we were split into castes, poor bots and anyone in the lower undesireable castes weren't allowed to procreate or even have romantic partners, cause romance leads to sex or whatever. Some bots were sterilized for speaking out, others were sterilized because the Functionist council couldnt risk them having kids even on accident. We were actually the kids of an upper class mech and lower class mech. They kept us hidden for a few years but they were found out.

Sideswipe- Can you just skip this part? I hate it.

Sunstreaker- The anon asked a question, I'm just answering it, go back to your game.

Sideswipe- Yeah yeah...

Sunstreaker- They were able to help us escape, our creators were killed by the council and we were on our own well into the war. Ironhide found us when we were... I think we were close to Springer's age.

Sideswipe- We were closer to 12.

Sunstreaker- Oh yeah, 12,000, so a bit younger than Springer and the other two. The war started because bots weren't allowed freedom of... pretty much anything. The further down in the caste system you were, the less rights and privileges you had. Even upper class mecha were restricted on some things, so even they weren't free. Frame types couldn't mix. It was a whole fucking mess.

Sideswipe- They started "decommissioning" "undesirable" mecha too. Decommissioning meaning killing and undesirable meaning old models.

Sunstreaker- It was fucked up.

Sideswipe- Hey Sunny, Mirage was from the Towers right?

Sunstreaker- Yeah, he mentioned that in class last week.

Sideswipe- How do you think he and Hound met? Hound was in the Cybertronian Army. Army mecha and high class mecha didn't really mix before the war, he said so himself in class.

Sunstreaker- For someone that hates history class, you sure know a lot.

Sideswipe- Oh please, it's just random stuff that i remember, i dont actually remember whole timelines of historical events like you.

Sunstreaker- And thats why im the smarter twin.

Sideswipe- Oh shut the fuck up.

Sunstreaker- No, im going to keep going.

Sideswipe- Fine by me.

Sunstreaker- D-16 who later became Megatronus who even later became Megatron and Orion Pax who later became Optimus Prime, teamed up, and rallied a bunch of mecha that were sick of the rules of the council. They were pretty quickly overthrown, more people hated functionism than the council realized.

Sideswipe- And then Megs and OP couldn't agree on how to go from there, and they started bitch fighting, and have not stopped since then, the eeeeend.

Sunstreaker- Can you be more articulate!?!? ... Also yeah, thats basically what happened. They kept disagreeing on how to build a new government, people took sides, and the rest is... well, history.

Sideswipe- Ugh, the beginning of the war took like, 6 months to get through, Hound just went on and on and ON. This was so much faster.

Sunstreaker- Because i left out a bunch of details!! Details which are important to know!

Sideswipe- Why do i need to know them?

Sunstreaker- Because the war isnt as black and white as some of the adults make it out to be!

Sideswipe- I mean, i get that, but it took so long to just get through the events leading up to the war.

Sunstreaker- Because it was thousands of years of unrest that lead to the revolution and the war to happen!!

Sideswipe- yeah yeah. Hey, wanna play mario kart?

Sunstreaker- *sighs* Yeah, sure. I call peach.

Sideswipe- That's who you always pick, I know not to touch her.

Sunstreaker- Good.

*end transmission*

[missamyrisa2]

The clit cleaning story was sooooo hot...I have such a thing for tickle-cleaning, and I used to think that was really weird and unusual but reading through the asks you get I feel less weird knowing apparently other people have the same kink. Nothing is hotter to me than the thought of being drenched in sudsy water while someone tickles my tummy or feet going "scrub a dub dub!" Ugh anyway thanks for doing those asks, you're such a good writer!

eeee hugssss for youuuu~!! Because I always felt the same~ like any time I saw cleaning machines or bots or someone being cleaned or whatever in tv shows or movies I would always get that lil tingle of excitement like ooooh gosssh I would just loooove being put through that sort of situation of teasyyy cleaning tickly attention~!

And it just lends itself sooo much to the matter of fact teasing, like someone who is merrily working away on your squirming body telling you it's for your own good as they endlessly scrub and massage over hot spotssss with bubbles and water flying everywhere~~

I especially love the thought of being in a big tub, positioned so my feet are sticking out~ and having a whole cleaning team around with some of them working by hand with soft washcloths and others using long scrubby brushes to dip into the suds and chase my squirming body~ as two have my ankles locked so they can use their detail brushes to work under the toes~

And then there's the cleaning machine~~ which can't be reasoned with and is determined to cleanse my writhing struggling body, buffing around with spinning brushes and polishing my royal areas endlessslyyyy~ only to make me dirty again which will require more cleaning~!!

[wander-wren]

got another bot-spam comment on ao3, but this one is extra weird. let’s do some investigating!

for those not in the know, The Haunting is my dark whumpy “todoroki gets adopted by aizawa” fic. it’s also 60k words long. so right away i’m doubting this person read it. that plus the generic vibes? bot comment. but i’m also pretty sure i’ve heard of this channel before, specifically because it wasn’t crediting authors. hm. so i go check it out: http://www.youtube.com/@DnWhatIf

first of all, these are the videos i’m greeted with:

now, i don’t want to bash anyone’s taste, but this is so extremely not my thing. nooooo way. some of these read more like crackfic, which is fine, but tonally the difference is SO much. and just makes it even more glaringly obvious that they aren’t reading the fics they’re spamming or even giving them a cursory once-over (or putting strong filters on the bot? i’m not clear how bot comments work)

because this is the first thing you see about The Haunting:

i’m guessing, if it wasn’t completely random, it’s the fact that i tagged izuku as a character. and really it’s just lazy, the whole thing. it’s all bots. ai art in the thumbnail, ai voice reading the fic, bot making comment spam for you. zero respect. if this was an actual podficcer i would consider it! hell, i might even accept ai voice readings (MAYBE), if it was obvious there was a human person who cared behind them. it could certainly be a tool for good, since podficcing isn't very common (we love you podficcers. if i had a little bit more confidence i would be one of you).

but anyway, hang on, lets back up a step, because the whole reason i looked into this was the credits issue. the video “what if deku became a teacher at ua” (ugh) (i hate the title gimmick also) is going to be my guinea pig.

so in the little intro (also done by ai), it says “all credits to their respective authors” which, yikes. however, they do link to their permission statement and the fic in the description, so it….could be worse. but also, these are the comments

(and it continues like that for a bit)

the channel name also has a 4.0 after it [edit: it did when i started this post, then i got distracted for two days, and now it is gone. hm], which implies they’ve had a lot of trouble with keeping it up. so it seems likely that this is the channel i heard about stealing fics, they just finally learned to get permission and give credit to try and keep it up this time. the permission statement on this video is real (i wondered if they would just link to something else and assume no one would check), but even THAT author references being “freaked out” (positive?? unsure) when they heard of people finding their story on youtube. before giving permission to upload with credit. so that’s not great

also this sludgepit of content is absolutely the thing that attracts people with no patience clamoring for updates literally one day after the video goes up. go figure. bad vibes all around.

also, if you’re wondering about the quality of the reading (i’ve stumbled on some pretty good ai voices as of late!), it’s, uh. i don’t actually know about how all this works, but i feel like when you pick a voice to read a story it should at least be able to approximate character name pronunciation. and flow.

but alas.

i also don't want to bash the authors in question but the truth is from the very minimal poking around i did (not giving this channel any more of my time than absolutely necessary), the writing featured is....mediocre at best. which is fine and good for the fandom ecosystem and i will NEVER be anything but happy that people are writing and posting less-than-perfect works, especially since some of these premises are pretty unique and i think it's better to have the fic than not. we all start somewhere, fanfic is an excellent way to practice and get feedback at the same time, etc.

but these channels, these kinds of operations, they're going to prey on new and young authors and that's who is going to be saying yes to them. because they want the exposure, they want to be told their work is good enough for someone else to care to record it for youtube, they haven't been around long enough to recognize this for what it is: someone taking extreme shortcuts to get views and likes and a bit of notoriety off of other people's work. and that's shit.

and remember that youtube videos can be monetized!

now, i doubt this channel in particular has been monetized, although it does meet the minimum requirements as far as numbers go:

it shouldn't meet the requirements for the monetization policies, specifically these ones:

especially with the disclaimer in the beginning that the content is not their own--which might be why previous versions of the channel did not give credit. who knows.

however, youtube DID just have some scandals about people making videos that were pretty much entirely plagiarized, which were monetized, so i don't have the highest hopes in the world. still, it doesn't seem monetized, so no strikes against this particular creator for that, at least, but defo something to look out for if anyone ever brings up hosting podfics on youtube.

so yeah, bot spam, not a complete scam this time but definitely really sketchy, bad vibes all around. and i still kind of want to give them permission to use my fic just to see what would happen, lmao

[canyouhearthelight]

Nihilus Rex, Ch. 40: Overlapping Work

Wonder if anyone has figured out who 'Ayanti' is. Hmmmm....

Also, don't forget to keep an eye on Lash and Nils' dynamic, like @baelpenrose mentioned in the previous chapter. Huge thanks to him for helping with this chapter!

They said, "All teenagers scare the livin' shit out of me" They could care less as long as someone'll bleed So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me

"Teenagers", My Chemical Romance

Lash

Food finally settled and parents/surrogate family mollified, I took my cell out, plugged it into a charger, crammed my most comfortable earbuds in, and called Nils.  Exactly zero part of me thought this would be an easy call, but at least if I was in my bedroom I would have to moderate my tone.  The first call went to voicemail, but I was interrupted in my message by a call coming through.

“Ignore the empty voicemail,” I answered, my stomach in knots. “I called, it went to - “

“I was on the phone,” he cut me off, curt but cheery. It was bizarre, unnatural.

“That makes sense. And… I’m sorry for not responding for so long. I was working, honestly.”

“Same, oddly. Once I got over the dread, I reached out to some contacts in India and Central America, tried to do some good. How’re you holding up?” His voice was tense, but oddly light. 

“Essentially the same,” I admitted. “I’ve probably done more charity work in the last three days than I have in the last three years. Let’s hear it for effective self-flagellation, yeah?” I chuckled. “But people in hot spots now have cleaner water than they ever would have otherwise, plus vaccines they probably would still be waiting on while they die, so hey! Net neutral to killing kids….” I ground my teeth, which I was pretty sure he could hear. “I hope so, at least.”

“Yep, and a lot of necessities for an innocent little orphanage in a truly unstable part of El Salvador, some water filters in a slum in Mumbai, and a few crates of cholera vaccines, I think we managed to save more people than we’ve hurt. Offset. If it works for the wealthy it works for us. We just keep doing this.” He took an audible breath. “Funny story though, there’s some smart, determined teenager, made some good arguments, says she wants to meet the Phoenix Queen, figured out that ANothing49BCE and Nihilus Rex were the same guy. Not too hard when she’s super smart and they have the same typing style, and the same pfp, even if Nihilus tends to be much more grandiose.” His voice hardened slightly, though at what I couldn’t tell. “I told her I’d need to discuss it with you, when she asked if she wanted to join up. I told her no at first, but she did point out that she’s being forced into adult working hours by the system, so she thinks she should get adult agency to throw her lot in with people trying to overthrow it.” 

“Ugh,” I grunted. “Let me guess, this person is in an impoverished country and does some kind of child labor that doesn’t hit the radar?  It’s a thing.”

“MMORPG gold farming, yeah. I’d put money down that she’s also one of those marketing video splicers, the ones that just…churn out viral content for shows that always seem to have too much fan content to keep the conversation and hype around them up? Yeah, that’s a thing that third world teenagers get hired to do too…I gave her some load lightening bots for the first thing, can’t do shit on the second, especially since she won’t say either way.” 

I drummed my fingers on my knee. “That was prudent,” I admitted. “Even just a good keybinder lets five people take turns farming rather than grinding all at once.” Humming, I thought to myself about the deliveries I had promised to Ayanti less than twenty-four hours ago. “I may need to get this person connected to my contact in Daravi… There’s a girl in the slums who is doing great shit, honestly. And they sound like they have a lot in common.  So yeah. Put me in touch with this person. As soon as possible, preferably - monsoon season is coming in the next couple weeks, and that shit is hella unpredictable.”

“Except the cholera it brings with it. That’s very predictable, which is why my contact was real clear she wanted crates of vaccines for that specifically. I got a few thousand doses distributed in Daravi for her - they share a slum, not that that says much in a place that big. Unfortunately that’s all I could get shipped without getting some real uncomfortable questions asked by the contractors who normally supply these NGOs.” A series of taps that had to be him rapping his desk. “She’s gonna be working for another couple hours…and her boss is a real prick, I don’t speak a word of Hindi, but I can read tone well enough.”

“Nils,” I sighed. “I’m not stupid. I literally just told you I had a contact in Daravi, who I was speaking to maybe an hour before I called you. Yes. Vaccines, water purification out the ass, all that. Literally why I want these two in contact. Local networks are stronger, especially when they can coordinate.”

He grunted. “Right, I’m sorry. Uh…Yeah. I’ll ping her as soon as I can and get you two in contact.” I heard him shifting around on the other end. “Were you okay about…everything?” 

That was when something clicked. “Okay? Hell no. But… did you really think I’ve been sitting here sobbing into my hands uselessly and giving up?” I didn’t even wait for a response. “Say no, right fucking now. Because the only other option is that I am going to choke you to death in not-a-fun-way if I ever see your pasty ass face again.”

“No.” He said bluntly. “I thought you were having a nervous breakdown, which from what I’ve seen of how you react to anxiety in general - “

“Bud, you ain't seen nothing yet,” I swore. “I’ve been grinding my fingers to the fucking bone saving people in areas we don’t have influence yet.  One thousand for every one we killed. If I get close to that, I can die without regrets.  So, fuck ME if I don’t answer a few texts or calls while I’m saving the goddamned world - “

“ - was going to be either working yourself to death in a fit of conscience or doing something very risky.” He finished. “I am glad you’re trying to help people. I’m glad you’re helping expand what we’re doing and helping people that are outside where we already have reach. I still worry.”

Swallowing around the lump in my throat, I forced myself to nod even if he couldn’t see it. “Yeah. I’ve been focusing on that for the last several days. And every time I stop, I see… Why did those images have to go public? The kids…”  I shook myself, physically. Hair pins went flying in the privacy of my bedroom, hair snarling. “Your contact. Male or female?”

“Female.” His voice was flat, the same timbre it took on when he was trying not to think about something. 

“Does she speak English, or am I translating?”

“I’ve been speaking with her directly, and as I said, I don’t speak Hindi. I believe she’s pirated a language course somewhere.” 

I rolled my shoulders, because I didn’t speak Hindi, either, but there were even odds this girl spoke Punjabi. “Put her through. The Phoenix Queen would love some handmaidens, I guess.”

“That does sound like a regal thing to say.” he quipped. He keyed a call somewhere, on my phone. 

“Alright, Ayanti, this is Nihilus Rex, conferencing you in with the Phoenix Queen. We talked, we are at least open to an interview with you.” 

The second I heard the name ‘Ayanti’, I held my breath, praying it wasn’t the same person.

Unfortunately for what ending up being the rest of my life, the girl I had just been speaking to an hour and a half ago started pouring her guts out. “Queen. I am so glad I have an audience, I’ve been trying to get in touch with you - “

I couldn’t. I just couldn’t tolerate the charade any further. “Tū chupī kutī!” I shouted. You sneaky bitch. “Iha pāśa hai!” This is Lash!

“Oh fuck,” Ayanti swore. “Lash? Shit, I didn't know…”

“And you know now… Are you profiteering?”

“Nonononono! We are in need and I didn’t want to be a beggar….”

I muted my mic. “As angry as I am, she’s legit. I know her. I was literally messaging and talking to her while I was ignoring you.”

“And we are angry because..? This does make our lives slightly more inconvenient, but this is just the Bishop situation again. We both know the same capable person, who has worked with both of us. Unless we have reason to believe it’s a scam, and - be so real, Phoenix, we both hit pretty close to our limits of what we could throw at Dharavi and it absolutely did not manage to cover ALL of what they needed - she drew from two different wells of resources to get as much coverage as she could. A twerp after our own hearts.” His voice was mild, almost amused. “Though, hey, if we had a nickel for every time my guy and your guy turned out to be the same guy, we’d have a dime, which isn’t a lot but it is weird that it’s happened twice…” 

I blinked very hard. I am still, to my death, sure that I blinked “fuck you” in morse code. “Nihlus, If she had been transparent that she needed more resources, she would have had them. It’s the hiding the actual need that I’m upset about. Ayanti literally could have just avoided the confusion and gotten all resources at once.”

Ayanti cried. “No, ma’am, I couldn’t! I…you gave me a bunch, which was great, but I’m trying to get them to - “

“AYANTI!” I shouted. “Me, Rex, it’s the same source. Just tell us what you need! We can send it, we just need a heads up so it gets there before it’s too late. We’ll figure out the rest!”

“Wait, so this is going to get flagged or it isn’t?” 

No,” I assured, kindly. “I have ties in all kinds of shipping and R&D stuff. This won’t be flagged any more than anything else I’ve shipped to you. So just tell me - us - what you need, and it will get there. Let us worry about the complicated parts. We’re good at that.”

Ayanti took a shaking breath at the other end. “So…am I allowed to join with you two after all? And…what are you planning, really? What’s the plan for India?” 

Nils took a breath, and I realized as he spoke he was speaking as Nihilus. “Broadly, that’s up to the Indians. But specifically? It needs to serve the Dalits before it serves anyone else.” 

I muted my mic and tapped out a question to NIls. I am for it if you are. I know Ayanti, she’s more solid than Bishop.

I don’t love bringing a child into this shit. She made a good argument. And if you say she’s more solid than Bishop well, that’s quite an endorsement. He didn’t have to be in the room for me to see that sad, half-laughing, far-away smile on his face.

Babe, she’s an adult by her cultural standards, and I want to puke when I say that. But it’s true. She has two full time jobs and is supporting her family. May all the gods bless that she is unmarried.

I am well. WELL. Aware. How good the argument is. We can’t say she has responsibility but no agency. I just hate it. And I refuse to make any comment on relationships.

He activated his mic before I did. “The Phoenix Queen and I agree. You’re in. We’ll develop more assets in India as we go, and with your assistance.” 

[greatwyrmgold]

Back to Factorio. Last time, I came within one inserter of setting up nuclear power before noticing that my other solutions had finally brought the factory to a decent equilibrium. This time, I'm making green chips. After some uneventful building, I throw together this prototype.

Very simple; separate train stations for the two inputs, and a belt of output that would go to its own separate station. But that single belt of output is kind of a problem. It can only carry a couple dozen assemblers' worth of green circuits, and if I want this one outpost to make a significant fraction of the circuits I'll need once I start plowing down the tech tree, I need way more. I think I'll aim for four belts of green chips.

Cool, but new problem: Input. Four belts of chips require four belts of iron and six belts of copper. Well, a little less with productivity modules, but not whole belts less. I can't build this as one big line. I have to build it as three little lines.

Well, "little" is perhaps not the right word here. Three sets of eighteen chip assemblers, compared to the five I had in my starter base. My bots are busy.

Wait a second. That's a lot of bots.

Oh, there goes my power again. But on closer inspection, this has less to do with bots charging than it does with coal vanishing, due to the coal train getting stuck at the mines.

After like an hour of messing around with train signals, redesigning intersections trying to figure out what screwed-up rail code is causing these problems...I realize a couple of rail segments in a curve are missing. Pretty much invisible to human eyes. Ugh.

...

That's where I logged off for the night, and thank goodness for this self-inflicted log forcing me to keep track of what I was doing, because a bunch of real-life stuff kept me from playing Factorio for several months. But now I'm back, and I have a log of what I was trying to do back in March. I started by making sure the coal-fired boilers were back online (getting there), and I noticed something I'm pretty sure is a visual bug.

I think the solar panels are casting shadows on the belt despite A. the presence of a light source on the other side of the belt and B. the fact that it's the middle of the night. Also the shadowed plastic looks too dark either way, especially with the normal plastic next to it.

Anyways, just two paragraphs after thanking March Me for his brilliant foresight, I have to curse him for his stupidity. Apparently he either never set up automated long-handed inserters and assembling machines, or tore it down when he started disassembling the starter base. Foolish either way.

Once I rectified that with a bit of spaghetti stapled onto the starter base, I realized I needed a lot of power poles for the new chip build, and also that I only automated the big ones. But that means I had everything for medium poles in one spot, and I just needed a little spaghetti to get everything into place.

Word of advice: Don't play with the Renai Transportation mod if you don't want to face constant spaghetti temptation. And if you do, make sure not to power thrower inserters until they're set properly.

Anyways, in the time it took to set that up and take the provided poles to power the new build, all the assemblers and inserters were pretty much produced. And in the time it took to figure out the Screenshot Toolkit, they were delivered.

All I need to do is get the trains set up.

Iron is easy enough; I've already got an iron train running from the iron mines to the starter base, so I just tweak its schedule so it switches between supplying the starter base and the circuit station.

I don't have anything like that for copper; the starter base is still running off the, um, two mining drills which still have ore. About 5,000 between them when I checked, one of which should last a bit less than an hour, the other almost two hours. Hm. Maybe I should have set up something for getting copper to the starter base.

I didn't, though. I didn't even get copper delivered to the circuits. That's because of a terrible mistake I made when setting up the copper mine's loading station.

Whichever way I curve this track, it runs into cliffs. That's what cliff explosives are for, but I never researched cliff explosives. And I tore down my starter base's labs ages ago.

Next time, I will do one of three things:

Find some fortuitous route between cliffs that gets me out of this mess

Set up temporary labs to research cliff explosives, and also temporary cliff explosives production

Move the station five meters to the right

I should probably also do something about our copper situation.

[the-travelling-witch]

Now I’m nosy to figure out this copy and paste situation

How Does it work? Like is it just, Holly write Childe in a bunny suit, Holly what would Childe be in a- why didn’t I pick bunny suit? (Man ok ya that would be something else to deal with copy and pasted)

ugh it’s a little frustrating but nothing we’ve never seen before, so it’s not all that but let me explain

basically, i received an ask a while back when i was still “active” on my nsfw blog and it was rather demanding in tone (for lack of a better word), more or less consisting of “i need [these 8 characters (separately)] with [this scenario] pls pls pls”

call me petty but for several reasons it ticked me off; 1) i think the tone is not it, as i said it feels kinda demanding and i don’t feel respected as a human (goes back to the whole “i’m not a writing bot but a person with feelings” argument), there’s no acknowledgment of past writing or so much as a hello

2) 8 characters in separate scenarios is a lot to ask for, especially considering the length in which i usually write a character’s scenario for, some people might be able to crank that out but i’m not; i know in my first post on there i had like 6 or 7 characters but that was of my own volition bc i was inspired, which makes a big difference

3) i don’t take requests

so yeah, the ask itself wasn’t received very well by me in the first place and i just sent to a group of writer friends basically going ‘is it petty of me to have negative feelings about this or am i misreading the tone here’

and we all just kinda came to the conclusion that it is the kind of request/ask someone would copy and paste into several writers’ inboxes, whether that’s because they just want their scenario written out or whatever, i don’t really understand the motivation behind it

and it seems we were correct because i happened to be scrolling through the tags for that fandom and saw the exact same ask, word for word, from roughly the same time period too; the writer seemed to have been happy about receiving it and wrote a paragraph each and it seems to have been well received, so i’m not here to take that away from them in any way

it just personally rubs me the wrong way but, at the end of the day, those are just my feelings on the matter

anyway, take away: be nice and appreciate your writers when they go out of their way to grant your request; be nice to them in general hehe ^^

[bruneburg]

64 of them

About 64 new spam bots followed my blog over night. More than usual. Over the last few weeks hundreds have followed me like this, dozens each day (800+ in total at least. managed to remove a few hundred of them so far). about 12% of my current followers are recent bot follows now. I have not caught up yet with removing them all. It might take a few hours. I don't know why this is happening to me. Is there anything @staff can do to get this under control?

One thing that could make this slightly less tedious for me to deal with would be adjusting how blocking works. If I go to a blog and block it - it only appears on the block list of my main blog (which is not this one). It does not appear on the list of blocked blogs of the actually affected side blog, and still remains in the follower count (ew!!!). The only ways I can remove them from this blog is to either block them on my main blog and then copy paste all the names one by one from main blog block list to this blog's block list (ugh). Or to block them directly from the activity page of this blog. Not from the follower list. (Blocking from there doesn't remove them from this blog either.) This essentially means that atm I can't remove these things while on my phone. I would appreciate if there was a button I could push that makes blocking a blog add the blog to the block lists of *all* of my other blogs.

[iviarellereads]

System Collapse, Chapter 1

(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For the link index and a primer on The Murderbot Diaries, read this one! Like what you see? Send me a Ko-Fi.)

In which we're back on the forward-track of the timeline.

Dr. Bharadwaj once told Murderbot that she thought it hated planets because it feared being judged expendable and left behind on one. MB lied to her, and said it's because planets are boring. Well, planets aren't boring, but it's less-boring in a bad way. Especially when you're investigating pre-Rim possibly alien contaminated sites in an environmental suit because you were being weird about wearing your armour.

MB decides to back up the conversation a bit for context.(1)

About 47 hours before our story starts, MB wanted to punch something in the face, preferably Art, or itself. They were already on the alien-contaminated planet. MB was surveilling a building. Having chased Ratthi,(2) Iris, and Tarik into the building, Hostile One, an agri-bot like the ones MB found scary in Network Effect, couldn't fit to follow.(3)

Art is asking for a status report, and MB waves it off, but it wants MB's personal status, not mission status.

Ugh, my status. I wasn’t supposed to come down to the planet again. Me, ART, Mensah, Seth, and Martyn had all made that decision, because of redacted.(4) I had even had an assignment during this day-cycle, sort of. It wasn’t really busywork, but it wasn’t not busywork, either. Karime had an in-person meeting planned with a faction of colonists at the main site habitation, and Three was going with her for security while pretending to be a human (always a fun time) and I was supposed to monitor Three and make sure it knew what to do and to not let ART give it anxiety. (Or more anxiety than it already had on its own.) I had been lying on the bunk in one of ART’s cabins watching The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon (episode 121, on repeat) while waiting for Karime and Three’s shuttle to arrive at the meeting site, when ART had slammed into my feed and said, I need you.(5)

Art couldn't use a pathfinder to take out the agribot, because that explosion would hurt the humans, so it became MB's turn.

On the feed, Ratthi asks how MB is doing. MB says it's fine, but not to let anyone get closer to the ag-bot's tentacle. Ratthi says it's a growth stimulator,(6) and it's fine, there's no rush.

You’re not fine, Ratthi, for fuck’s sake. (For however many corporate standard years, all I got from humans was “Run in there now no matter how likely you are to get blown to tiny pieces when a quiet tactical approach has a higher percentage of success” and now it’s “Oh no we’re fine, we can hang out in this objectively terrifying immediately hazardous situation for however long.”)(7)

MB continues to grumble in its thoughts about humans' penchant for understating things, and how Bharadwaj says even good changes can be stressful. While it does, its drones keep scouting for a position to take a good shot at the ag-bot with the recall beacon Art decided to repurpose to take it out. MB is glad for a weapon that won't bring it close enough to get its ass handed to it, again, by one of them.

A paragraph is spent comparing this ag-bot to the ones in Network Effect, and how similar and different the alien contamination was. Another paragraph is used to show Seth explaining the recall beacon, and apologizing to MB for having to go on-planet despite whatever the earlier redacted portion was. MB told him it was fine, and reiterates to the reader that it's fine, just fine, dangit.(8)

At any rate, a drone finds a good vantage point, but something about the threat assessment number, as well as the likelihood of successful retrieval, gives MB pause. As it reviews the numbers and the situation, it realizes it's not going to work. This is the problem with letting Art and the humans come up with the plans, really, and MB would have been more proactive about it, but the redacted incident.(9)

MB is on the move again, and sends its calculations to Art in place of an explanation. It would love to have Three here, but that would mean interrupting Karime's meeting, which is very important. And, there's no reason MB can't handle this. It already has a new plan, even! And threat assessment likes it more, because the explosion is further from the humans.

MB drops two transponders then gets the ag-bot's attention. It gives chase, and as it approaches the first, MB signals to detonate it… but the ag-bot jumps, as the contamination must have increased its processing and access to local networks.

As it's about to land on MB, two things happen: first, MB rolls to point the launcher for the last recall transponder up at it, and second, MB receives a ping from another SecUnit. At first it assumes it's Three, somehow, which would be embarrassing but also a relief. Only, it literally can't be Three, there wasn't time for it to get here, which means… it's a Barish-Estranza SecUnit.

Four days after Preservation showed up in Network Effect, a B-E explorer had arrived with three fresh SecUnits, minimum. The B-E group has been more proactive about evaluating the situation and talking to the colonists. Art ran the numbers, more than once, and it wasn't worth just killing them all on principle.

The other SecUnit hits the ag-bot with projectiles, right in the central processor as well as some shots to break it up, as it falls toward MB. MB, for its part, is able to roll out of the way of the debris. Art says that was too close to a murder attempt.

MB has everyone lock down for security, since it knows what a SecUnit is capable of intercepting, and runs all its new and improved human movement code. It asks if they can call off their SecUnit, and tries to groan and rise like a human would have in its situation. It even makes the effort to look at what it now terms B-E Unit1, and as Ratthi runs up to check on it, it asks him to pretend to help it up.

Ratthi, thankfully, picks up the situation immediately, and tells the B-E party that was too close. MB thinks about what it would have done differently, or at least tried to do.

(Obviously this is not actually what I’m upset about, it’s just easier to be angry about B-E Unit1’s fuckup and/or disregard for minimum client safety.) Safer to be angry about it, ART said on our private connection. I was not even going to respond to that. ART had told Mensah it wouldn’t push me. Just because its MedSystem was certified for emotional support and trauma recovery it thought it knew everything.(10)

Iris goes to meet the B-E leader, with Tarik close by and wearing his visor the way MB is, so it doesn't look out of place for covering its face. The leader is someone they've seen before, Sub-Supervisor Dellcourt, who is one of the smart ones. Iris thanks them too-politely,(11) and asks if they'll be billing later. Dellcourt says they'll add it to the creditor's statement.

MB explains how the billing is not a joke, Pin-Lee and Turi, Art's accountant, have been preparing a counter-bill if this ever ends. Money fights between corps are common and boring.

If you wonder why Art has an accountant, Martyn said Art is perfectly capable of doing its own accounting, but ends up with extra numbers that not even their best accountants can track. Turi does it with hardcopy backup ledgers, to make sure Art can't edit the data. There's a question about whether Art is making up numbers for fun, or if it has credit balances somewhere they don't know about.

Back to the story, where Dellcourt asks what business they have here. Iris asks the same. MB thinks it's some human posturing thing it doesn't understand, but it's pretty obvious Iris's group has been repairing the routers, and given the projectiles Unit1 had, the B-Es were looking for contaminated bots.

MB takes another aside(12) to describe the first interaction between the fresh B-E explorer and Art, which ended with B-E scuttling off and probably believing Art is an asshole human commanding officer. It clarifies that Art's sapience is a secret from everyone except the ranked levels of its university, and its team, and MB's team, so B-E have no way of even guessing what Art really is.

The rest of the B-E group is watching MB and the other humans. MB is glad it refined its human movement code, so it knows what to do with its hands. Still, it can tell Unit1 is staring at it. Iris, whether she noticed this as well or not, turns to thank Unit1. Dellcourt is dismissive, saying it's a SecUnit. Iris ignores him, and her team collect their equipment and leave.

=====

(1) Much appreciated, old friend. (2) Hey, I thought Murderbot was the only one sticking around for Art's missions! Nice to see another familiar face. And, Ratthi's really grown on me this reread. (3) Nice callback, not mentioning the book name (I did that myself) but making the connection for the reader. (4) Do you think we'll get an unredacted version of this in the book? Is it just referring to the events of Network Effect? (5) And, of course, what is MB going to do when its friend is in need? Help, that's what. (6) Oh that's what they're calling it these days? (7) Yep, sorry, people acknowledge your personhood now, and will be as polite to you as they would try to be to anyone else. (8) The more you say it, the less I believe it. Sorry. (9) Every repetition just makes me more curious. Why is this event redacted? (10) And to be fair, Art knows a lot. MB's just as stubborn as Mensah was about needing emotional help and support. (11) I very much imagine this in the vein of the "Bless your heart" of the southern US. (12) Every other paragraph in this opening chapter, I swear. To some degree I understand the necessity, since there's obviously been some time skip, and things need clarifying, but even so.

[sabiekay]

AMOMK Drabble 2 - Of Rambling Thoughts and Too Many Choices

Just like the first drabble in this AU spinoff, this work was based on the original story A Map of Mrs. Kims (and the drabbles that started it all!) created by @bonvoyagenoona​ and various members of the Tumblr BTS fanfic community! (You can also read it on ao3!). All rights regarding this universe of characters are credited and belong to her. I honestly did NOT expect to write a second little drabble in this universe, but almost a year later here we are...thank you so much to @bonvoyagenoona for letting me play in this little world for a bit again, and you can also read this particular drabble on A03 here

Names swirled through your head, mocking you with every thought. Kim Seokjin. Kim Taehyung. Min Yoongi. Kim Namjoon. You could hardly focus on your work when all your brain could do was loop those 4 names – those forms – over and over again. Now that you had them in hand, were you really so selfish to grab all 4 applications? Were you no better than someone at a cattle auction, waiting to nab the best in show? After all, it was one application out of dozens, possibly hundreds, to win the mere chance to go on a date with these men. To try to be a good, noticeable, outstanding candidate, to prove to these strangers that yes, you could be a good wife in the future. As if that’s all you needed in life.

But then again, that seemed to be what modern dating was nowadays. Click on a profile, read a basic summary, see a few photos, and swipe right. Pray that the person on the other end wasn’t a creep or a bot. On the dating apps, you didn’t have to see the humanity behind the screen; just one click and move onto the next. Hope for a match. Hope that profile leads to something more. Find another if you don’t. To walk up to these very real men and ask for every list and form available – in front of their mother no less! – now forced you to face the apparent greed of your actions. That maybe you should have been firmer in your decision, to just pick a profile and pray for the best.

Kim Seokjin. Kim Taehyung. Min Yoongi. Kim Namjoon. It would be all too easy to blame Ji-a. After all, it was her crazy idea to apply in the first place. However, she already made her choice – the singular application for one Kim Taehyung was filled out and submitted the second she got home from the country club. So why were you waffling around like someone staring at a takeout menu at 2 am?

It could also be the lingering embarrassment from realizing Kim Namjoon was Museum Boy. There was no telling how you’d live that realization down. You’d even changed when you visited the museum because of it. Ji-a squealed when you told her – she insisted that this was fate, that this just was evidence you and Namjoon were meant to be, how your only choice now was to fill out the pre-destined application and make it official, just like her favorite romance stories. But all you wanted to do was hide. How could you face him? Before, Museum Boy was a concept. Just a handsome man with similar tastes in art. He was safe, distant, a small constant in your hectic life - like when the barista already knows your order at your local coffee shop. But now? Now you could only imagine just how crazy you looked from his point of view: a woman just so happens to run into him at a museum several times, enough to be recognized. Then she shows up once again at the same exact country club at the same exact time he happened to be there. Then saying “Uhh…. all of them?” when asked which application she wanted…Ugh, no wonder he probably thought you were a stalker. Numerous true crime documentaries have proven people would do much less for attention.

Kim Seokjin. Kim Taehyung. Min Yoongi. Kim Namjoon. Each attribute, likes, and dislikes gave you a small glimpse into who they were – you’d practically memorized them by how many times you’ve agonized in making your choice:

Seokjin, eldest of the Kim brothers, loves to cook, visiting farmers markets, and to go fishing on his few days off. A hard worker and dependable, every detail jotted down in his profile just screamed “Perfect Husband Material”, and it would be all too easy to imagine a simple, domestic life with him.  

Taehyung, baby of the family and massive flirt, listens to jazz and is a photographer by trade. A creative soul, you could tell just by reading each response that he would be fun and adventurous, each day just as spontaneous as the last.

Yoongi, not even related to the Kim brothers but still somehow has his own form, writes songs and plays both piano and guitar when he’s not teaching. Each answer seemed direct, but thoughtful, something you’d sorely missed in your last couple relationships.

And Namjoon, middle child and Museum Boy extraordinaire, teaches middle school, is passionate about music and writing, and loves having deep philosophical discussions. You could imagine talking to him for hours, delving into the inner workings of the arts, letting those conversations lead you to explore more about yourself and the world you live in.

Maybe you were surrounded by too many choices – on paper, they all seemed amazing, almost too good to be true. You wanted to get to know them individually. You wanted to wait and form some sort of plan. You needed to get out of your head and make a damn decision already. At this rate they might already be married by the time you decide to apply.

The serene painting in front of you was your favorite for this very reason. It seemed simple from far away – a watercolor scene of lotus flowers floating in a pond – but it always felt immersive. You could lose your thoughts as the colors flowed in and out of each other. Imagine the golden light of sunset warming your body. Whenever you were stressed or upset, you would just sit at the bench directly in front of it and mediate, forget about the outside world for a little while. Your troubles started to melt away, thoughts of applications joined the very paint on the canvas.

“Hey stranger, haven’t seen you around here in a while,” a voice suddenly called. You nearly reached the ceiling as your trance was brutally interrupted. To your left stood Kim Namjoon.

“Gah! I – uh – hi! Hi,” you undignifiedly sputtered in response.

“Hi,” Namjoon laughed, the smile never leaving his face. You knew you were sunk if you stared at his dimples for too long. “I thought you might have found a new hangout spot. Usually, our semi-regular greetings are a bit more…well…regular. You’re Y/N, right?”

You looked toward the floor as you nodded, your face already feeling warm. “I didn’t want to seem like a stalker…”

“Don’t stalkers change their patterns once they’re caught?” Taking a quick shocked glance was all you could do as he gave a cheeky smirk, his eyes bright and mischievous. “But no, never thought you were stalking me. I just figured you were a fellow patron of the arts. What brings you here on a Wednesday afternoon?”

“There were severe issues with my work’s telecom system, and rather than let the big wigs think we’re not doing anything or pay us to just sit there waiting for repairs, we were all sent home. What about you? Playing hooky?

“Legally allowed hooky, yes. It’s a school holiday and I somehow managed to get all of my meetings done before sunset. So I'm celebrating and taking a small break before I have to go drown in lesson plans.” Namjoon then gestured to the seat next to you. After you nodded your agreement, he sat a close but respectable distance from you.

“Are you doing okay? You seemed really lost in thought there.”

You didn’t give much of an answer, unable to look at him quite yet. A sigh escaped as you stared at the painting ahead. “Yeah, just a lot on my mind. But it seems so stupid now…”

He turned more toward you, a calm demeanor radiating from his body. “If you feel comfortable talking, I’m all ears.” There was an inkling that he was like this with his students. You hesitated despite the warm invitation, contemplating what you were going to say.

“It’s just….” You started, subconsciously smoothing your hands over your knees. “These damn dating applications that I got from your mother is stressing me out and It’s so dumb because I can’t seem to make a choice. I should be able to just…make up my mind and turn something in if I was so determined to do so at the start. It’s been weeks! But no, here I am, being so ridiculous and overthinking something that I might not even get accepted or chosen for in the first place. I’m a tiny piece of the puzzle, why am I freaking out so much?”  

Namjoon nodded as you rambled, a brief flash of recognition crossed his face. “I totally understand. And your feelings are absolutely valid. But from one overthinker to another, why should you have to make a choice right now? Or even make a choice at all? Why do you even have to choose one single application to complete?”

“It all seems so final, doesn’t it? Like this entire process is some sort of life test or fate or something. My friend was able to just go forward, know which one she wanted to go after, and just fill out the form, so I should be able to do the same, right? But now I just feel greedy, like I’m just lumping you and your brothers together, as if you are some sort of interchangeable trophy to win. That’s not fair to anyone. If I need to make a decision, I just want to be sure of it, you know?” You knew you were rambling, but your brain just couldn’t stop. If this was a life simulation game, you just hoped you wouldn’t see the negative friendship points flash over Namjoon’s head. Why couldn’t you stop rambling?

To his credit, Namjoon only chuckled. “Well, it’s definitely something to think about. And it’s great that you see all of us as separate human beings instead of just the Kim boys or a full unit. Your heart seems to be in the right place. But you have a few options – you could just apply for all of us and take a chance. It might be exciting, like a going on some blind dates, right? You could think about what you want in a relationship, use that to determine which one of us you want to pursue. Or you just walk away, forget about maps and dates and applications. But, if you’re so sure about making a single choice…. would it be easier if I tell you why you shouldn’t date each of us?”

“What…?”

“Yeah, just take a look at my hyung, Seokjin. He’s the best older brother anyone could ask for. Kind, loyal, a hard worker. Takes charge but in a more subtle way. But his jokes are terrible. You’d be forced to listen to the absolute worst dad jokes this side of the world. And that’s before he likes you enough to force you onto a fishing boat before sunrise.”

An eyebrow raised was all it took for Namjoon to continue on.

“Yoongi is my best friend, and is such a romantic at heart. But when he’s focused on a project or work, it’s like he’s dead to the world. I’m actually not even sure he really sleeps at night. And Taehyung is such a thoughtful guy, will do anything for those he loves, and lives life to the fullest. He loves life, you know? But as much as I love him, sometimes he can be downright weird. There are days I wish I could just see what’s going on in his brain. Some people might find him too much to handle.”

Giggling at every description, you could see how much love and respect Namjoon for each of them.

“So, what about you? Why would you be deemed undatable?”

Namjoon paused, a small hint of something unreadable flashed over his face. Perhaps a bittersweet memory? Something sad he wanted to forget? Whatever it was, he didn’t let it linger for long. Just as quickly as that brief emotion arrived, he replaced it with another half-smile. “Well, I’m a middle school teacher who likes fine art. I’m afraid the only dates I’d be able to afford involve takeout and free events.”

A light laughter filled the room as you both focused on painting in front of you. Namjoon checked his watch, sighing as he stood up.

“Unfortunately, break time is over. If I don’t get started on those lesson plans now, I’ll never get them done on time. But hey, don’t dwell too much over whatever you decide, okay? Flip a coin if you need to. Take your time to think, but if that’s all you do, you’ll find opportunities will pass you by. Bye, Y/N! See you when the new exhibits premiere.” With a wink and a wave, Namjoon lightly waved his goodbyes as you continued to sit on the bench, going over every word.

Kim Seokjin. Kim Taehyung. Min Yoongi. Kim Namjoon. A deep breath escaped as you grounded yourself for the task ahead. The mailbox loomed in front of you, challenging you to be brave, to take a chance. With eyes closed, you placed the large stamped envelope inside, ready to let your fate reveal itself. 4 names, 4 completed applications. You just hoped you knew what you were doing.

[littlebigmouse]

TMA MAG 63

Man, there's too many bloody cults in here and I cannot keep them all straight. Anyway, that sounds like the darkness cult, right? They hung out in empty churches as well, no?

More importantly: Who is Georgie and was Jon genuinely friends with someone who runs a spook youtube channel and please tell me he helped out in an episode. I'm HERE for this backstory.

Also a distracting amount of new characters! There seems to be a new girl working - in the archives? Or maybe with Rose(?) at the front desk? Also Whoever Diana is. Yes, she runs the library, but now I do wonder of the set up of the whole Institute. They have an archive, with a head archivist and several archival assistants. They also have a research department that collaborates with universities, which I assume also features the library. Artefact storage could be a seperate organisational department or could be just run by the archivists too. But where is the research department and the library? I never thought to ask, but how many people were traumatized by the worms in S1? I know the building was evacuated early on, but I am suddenly deeply amused by the archives simply being located in the basement of an otherwise regular, lively building.

Imagine one of the library workers comes into the archives to make a statement about "you archivist creeps. I have no idea what's going on but since the worms it's been clear you've been getting up to real spooky shit by yourselves. Here's a few things we've noticed and also a bunch of restraining orders we want put up because honestly, the assistant with the scissorhands is pushing it." - "Michael?!" - "Yeah, that's what he said his name was. Anyway, real usefull during Marion's retirement party, way less useful when you're trying to hand him a stack of books to help you reshelf" - "Listen to me very carefully. We do not have an assistant named Michael. He's a supernatural entity that haunted Sascha and stabbed me" - "Not like you don't deserve it" - "What was that?" - "Nothing! So you're saying Michael is evil?" - "I'm saying I saw him make a woman disappear with my own two eyes and I am frankly freaked out by the fact that none of you librarians and researchers are dead yet. When did you see him, exactly?" - "Every tuesday and friday for library wide coffee breaks." - "You've got to be kidding me" - "I thought he was strange but like I said, you archive people are strange anyway! Next you'll tell me Mary from accounting is a serial killer or something" - "..." - "Oh fuck off Jon. I knew I shouldn't have come to the basement people" - "Is that really what everyone has been calling us" - "Tim's face used to be so pretty. Now you can fit fingers into the circles under his eyes. Y'all suck the joy out of everything." - "This place is literally haunted with horrors beyond our comprehension." - "I know Jon, I work in a library and my Latin is passable at best."

(that got away from me).

Wait, is Elias head of the Institute, or just head of the department? I thought he's just the head of the department, but if he's the head of the institute... UHM. What.

That doesn't actually change anything, I don't think. Only something about my perceived sense of responsibility for this guy? Ugh. Idk.

Oh right!

I'd originally meant to point out how Melanie reacted kind of weird to Sascha's name? If she didn't know her (which I don't think she would, given she's been there once), then why not just say so? Or why bring it up at all?

Are all the other new character mentions a distraction? Is Sascha a distraction? I'm sitting in front of a puzzle in the shape of a whole bunch of pretty women and can't make sense of it or even tell which one's real and which one's I'm supposed to know.

This is the tumblr porn bots all over again.

[solardick]

Two words.

Well, lets go back to work and be serrounded by people and have no one tto talk to. Its childhiod all over again.

But portents continue to prelude the reality of experience. Simply have to critically observe the happenings of the animal kingdom. When one starts to uncover what animal signifies what. And the behaviour. Less important is the direction they take unless its down to the singulars and the direction from whence one came. To my experience when direction matters it’s simply noted in context. The craw of the crow is always negative. No exceptions thus far. The dove is always positive. Exceptions depending on the nature of the portent. Yet always relates to the pleasant. Bluejays are aquarian. Eagles to broader perception and expansion. Hawks are similar but lack majesty. Rabbits are lost and found, squirrels are active scrounging about, over commotion.

You should have seen these dipshits leaving tortured and mutilated rabbit carcasses around to signify loss in permanence. Course when i did thst to signify the queen and she died.

Didnmt go over any new cards because i didn’t care. The weekends are too depressing to function.

Now its time to go hime take soem pills so

It doesmt feel like i just got dry fucked up rhe ass all day.

….wait Americans are killign thousands of people so they can put a woman on the throne? Ok, im done with the news. Wonder how muchnof that was true. Probably not alot.

Welcome to the new age of sanctions. “If se dont like you we’ll make tour life miserable until you bow and accept us as supreme. And that your a slug. Ugh. But we wont force you. Thats your decision to make. But, your bot going to have any other options than the one we’re giving you. So we’re actually lying about iy being a choice.

Youre not allowed havign luxury item? Lol what? Oh. No pls satan gove me my luxury! I cant live without. It. Take about bribery. Western world

Is run by the devil. This place fucken sucks.

You way of life ruined my life at childhood. Nut thats not good enough. Got to rub it in for 30 fucken years. And i have to soemd an entire life under this shit because my family are fucken retards that never should have bred together. Dont talk to me about fair or “political correctness” which means what ever the fuck you want it to.

Is there a magic i may push to get me out of this fake reality. Theres no way humanity is this fucken dumb and the dominant species of the olanet at the same time.

Guess its safe to assume that kataya or whatever her name is is the new president. Increase the war effort. Kill thousands more. Nice.

And the war becomes the lunar reactionaries versus the solar plexus.

A beard tax. Hahahah. Thats ridiculous. I hate this ideology. More so now aince its being forced. Being a bunch of nazies while pretending not to be.

But shows the extremes of social engineering. To the drastic for immediate results. One day its one way and the other its a complete change around. Forcing people learn how to live all over again. And if they dont like it. Tax them for their discontent. If gid talks to me. Then i guess he agress with me. Its been enough.