#which is. doubly upsetting tbh
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definitelynotshouting · 2 years ago
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Recently, I've been thinking about something. We know that after Grian was kicked from Hermitcraft and after the initial hurt and anger simmered down a lot of Hermits started regretting kicking him to an extent. They had questions and now no one to answer them. And around every corner is some painful reminder of the friend they lost, some building he made, or a place where some bit or game happened. While that is certainly very normal, I can't stop thinking about how this already angst idea is only made worse by the idea that, things probably feel even more dull than they would now that he's not amping their emotions. In all the minigames and group meetings Grian's absence is like a hollow chasm that refuses to be ignored. None of it seems to be quiet as fun anymore. I kinda doubt many of them would connect this to Watcher feeding but maybe I'm wrong. Just the idea of the Hermits barely being able to make it 5 steps without some reminder or Grian but amped by the fact that they're so used to the joy he brought with his shenanigans, both naturally and through the occasional Watcher Nom Noming.
I think about this SO OFTEN actually and how like.... its true. Its just plain true!!! Things are just less in Hermitcraft now, and theres this horrible tangle of complexity surrounding that because on the one hand, theres just..... not as much EXCITEMENT as there used to be when Grian was around, and on the other hand, they never consented to having their emotions messed with in the first place-- but theres still that acute sense of loss. They lost something and there are reminders everywhere and while some members have channeled that loss into bitterness and hate, a lot of people are just... sad. Its just really sad. I always imagine the Empires crossover has a lot more of a subdued tone to it, since Grian (who had helped plan and organize it) wasnt there to join in.
Its gonna be a very complicated reunion, once the Grian Rescue Squad returns with our resident Watcher in tow
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thisisadonaldduckblognow · 2 years ago
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i for one would like to know where this "family therapist bearing everyone's feelings" mikey fanon even comes from
to say nothing for "raph and leo were having constant terrible arguments and poor baby mikey was so upset and traumatized about it that he curled up hidden away in donnie's lab where donnie comforted him, powerless to do anything about the fighting" bc like
well the family therapist thing fascinates me but i think i've talked about that and why it doesn't read true to me before.
and the pre-movie raph and leo fighting so bad headcanon stuff, though, bugs me doubly hard bc i would assume that start of movie is like. as bad as it got for that tension. the breaking point. like, lecturing and needling that didn't come to a full head (raph punching out leo's wall and then trying to square up w leo) until leo specifically messed up a mission that involved the foot clan (which i would imagine is kind of a trigger point seeing as the last result of "foot clan gathers mysterious artifacts" was "the world almost ends, we lost our home, gram gram died in front of us, we nearly lost our dad etc").
like. mikey was fine as anything blowing off training w leo! he was having a grand ol time, doing his best lil bro copycatting of leo's smugness, playing the "every time raph says hero take a bite of pizza" game no complaints, no looks of doubt. heck, donnie's fine going along with the goofing off too! when raph follows leo into his room to try to talk to him, mikey and donnie both straight-up have their faces pressed to the window to try to eavesdrop! they both look equally freaked out about the sudden escalation to Big Punch!
like idk the evidence is just not there for me to buy the fanon interpretation on this one. there's no world where mikey and donnie wouldn't get fed tf up and stick their noses in that business if it was so upsetting imo. i think everyone's movie characterization suffers a little bit overall tho tbh, that's a whole other post though
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goodmanarthurmorgan · 11 days ago
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Need to ask multiple people in the rdr fandom, but I'll start with you;
What do you think would have happened to the van der Linde gang, and the events of the game, if Arthur has actually been one of the first to die? Would the gang fall apart sooner? Would Dutch spiral faster? What would missions where Arthur was a key component be like without him?
If it's not too much to ask, I'd like to know the reactions from all the gang members. Even the ones the fandom typically focus less on. Especially those ones, tbh.
Oh, that's an excellent question. We see Arthur carry the gang so much (of course, he is the player character, but for the sake of argument let's assume that this is narratively true as well).
I think Hosea would be entirely broken. He starts the game already wanting to back out and leave this life behind. He is sensitive and sentimental, and essentially raised Arthur as a son. I think if he didn’t leave Dutch outright he would essentially be entirely camp-bound and not go on any missions. I think losing his wife and his son and Dutch veering into madness would leave him feeling entirely alone and essentially give up on life.
Dutch is harder to read. I’m still not entirely sure he values Arthur’s life in the game we get, however, a lot of that devaluing comes after Arthur starts openly questioning him and Micah. I think with Arthur gone, Micah as the snake in Dutch’s ear would be doubly effective, and it’s possible Dutch would become increasingly reckless with everyone’s lives much sooner. Whether those people left or not is pretty individual, but I do think Arthur was the force that rallied a lot of the camp to question Dutch. If people stayed, they surely would all have been killed sooner rather than later.
Without Arthur there to both mediate and slightly push John, I don’t know if he and Abigail would reconcile. I don’t know if that’s entirely true, but I have the sense John may be more likely to stay with Dutch without Arthur’s influence, and Abigail and Jack may have been more likely to leave camp (which ultimately would have been a net positive on their lives likely, but John would have surely become Dutch’s new Arthur as a devalued workhorse). Anyone who has more insight into John’s psychology than me can debate that, because I really don’t know. I get the sense he would have stayed until it was too late.
I would have to go through every major mission to think of how Arthur saved their asses over and over, but my overall guess is that the van der linde gang would have pretty quickly been taken over by Micah. Charles is maybe likely to leave (as Arthur was pretty close with him), but it’s not a guarantee if he felt a duty to stay with the more vulnerable members. Kieran has no place to go and would die just as brutally. Sean wouldn’t leave, I don’t think, although he would grow increasingly upset for not being able to save Arthur the way he was saved by him. I doubt Bill would care much, except for growing increasingly aggressive as his violence would be less checked in a Micah-driven camp. It's possible even that he would kill Kieran before the O'Driscolls did, given his open violent fantasies about him. Karen would follow the drink as she does in the main game, and while I’d like to think Tilly and Mary-Beth would get out like they do in game, without the grace period that was Arthur relatively keeping the peace while quietly encouraging people to leave, I’m not sure. Grimshaw and Molly wouldn’t leave. Sadie is also complex because we see her become entirely self-sufficient but it takes multiple chapters to get through her trauma and have her more violent impulses mediated by arthur. It's possible without him there she just snaps one day and kills someone in camp (likely Pearson without Arthur to advocate for her to be treated like one of the men) and be summarily killed by Dutch.
That’s my rough guess! What are your thoughts?
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chemicalplants · 6 months ago
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you know this is doubly interesting when you look at the stuff we got from the SxS version of gerald's journal actually. it's pretty clear his relationship with both his sons was massively strained to basically breaking point by his insistence on keeping maria on the ARK past when, i assume, everyone thought he had even the slightest chance of curing her illness- and he's upset about that but it's clear to some extent he's prioritising his relationship to his granddaughter. and there's, like, a lot of contextual reasons this does make sense period to be clear- she's a kid and they're adults, and he's upset about her terminal illness while they're fine. but also like. you really get the vibe that even aside from that, he straight up does just care for maria in a way that is above the rest of his family, tbh? and then he's projecting a lot of shit with his 'everything is spiralling and falling apart and i'm About To Snap but this twelve year old girl is keeping me sane' stuff as things go to hell on the ARK, lmao. in that context him simultaneously adopting shadow into his concept of 'family' outside just being a project (bc maria is attached to him) but also not affording him that same level of devotion he gives maria is, like, his seeming MO with everyone. like, if shadow had died in the ARK raid, i do not get the impression gerald would have snapped and tried to blow up the planet, right. even though SxS also has gerald explicitly viewing shadow as his son. which is just such a great character note i think. pokes them all.
baby shadow fanart is cute and all but 'shadow popped out seeming like he was already fully grown and aware, which made it way easier for gerald to feel less guilty about shoving a bunch of responsibility immediately onto the three day old guy he canonically acknowledges is actually basically his son' is way more fun tbh. there's a really good contrast in there re: why gerald clearly sees both shadow and maria as his kids but has a wild double standard in terms of wanting to protect maria versus Whatever The Hell That Was with shadow on the ARK.
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vaspider · 2 years ago
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Tbh, everyone I see trying to come up with alternative words for Culturally Christian keeps reminding me of when white people got really upset about the term White Privilege. Maybe the term SHOULD make people uncomfortable. Maybe we shouldn't have to take the complaints of others about a term we created to describe our experiences as more important than our needs. As well-meaning as some folks have been, it's been so frustrating to feel like that aspect isn't being seen. We created this term to discuss our oppression and others keep coming to us about their feelings about it, their discomfort. We didn't get rid of the term White Privilege just because it upset a bunch of white people. Why do we have to get rid of the term Culturally Christian because it upsets people it describes?
I'm trying to be compassionate too but it's hard for me to be when it feels like most of the criticisms of the term have been in bad faith and that the criticism is centered around OTHER people's feelings rather than our need to describe our oppression. Idk it doesn't feel fair I guess.
I didn't really expect you of all people to react like this to me having a compassionate conversation with someone who isn't Christian, wasn't raised Christian, and was abused by Christians for not being a Christian, about that person not wanting to be labeled as being inextricably tainted by a religion that abused them for their whole life. That's not something I expected from you. Maybe you missed that part of the conversation, or maybe you read a good faith conversation as if it was in bad faith, idk, but this seems rather unkind for you.
I understand your frustration. I also think it that if I'm actually dedicated to tikkun olam, if someone also being hurt in this situation respectfully talks with me about how I'm hurting them with splash damage from these discussions, I really should hear them out. And if, in the course of that discussion, we talk through how to not only be more accurate with what we're talking about but how to be less hurtful to other victims of Evangelical Christianity, I think that's pretty good, actually.
The person you're talking about isn't Christian and never was, so your analogy doesn't really hold. That person didn't hold any particular privilege and was never part of the dominant group in the first place. Like... that's the whole point. They're also a survivor of religious violence. You assigning privilege to that person which they never received is part of the problem we were addressing in the first place.
Plus, like, isn't the desired outcome that people who are carrying ideas and mindsets which come from Christian hegemony work on shedding those ideas and mindsets? Labeling people - especially people who aren't Christian and doubly especially those who never were - rather than ideas means those people are labeled regardless of what ideas they hold. That seems counterproductive to me, and, again, hurtful to fellow victims to label them with an identity they don't hold. It's like someone calling a bi person a Spicy Straight because they don't look queer enough or whatever - they're assigning an identity that someone else doesn't have because it makes it easier for them to speak their pain, and ignoring the damage that does.
The best part of the conversation is that by the end of it, someone pointed out that there's already an academic term -- Christian hegemony -- which has been in use for a really long time, well before "cultural Xianity" came into use. It looks like it goes back at least 50 years. So because I was patient and compassionate with someone else who was victimized like I was victimized, I got to learn something which will make it easier to communicate in the future, since that term is widely established and it's easy to point to PDFs that define it, or articles with Jewish educators explaining it.*
Sounds like a win to me - I get to avoid accidentally hurting others who were hurt like I was hurt, I learned something, and now I have a better, clearer term and can speak more clearly.
I'm sorry it frustrates you. I don't think your analogy works, though, and I'm happy with using "Christian hegemony" to describe ideas and not labeling people. I certainly wouldn't like it if someone insisted on calling me Christian, because I'm not, so forcing that label on others who also are not Christian seems hypocritical and unkind. Someone can hold ideas they learned from Christian hegemony without being Christian, and saying it that way doesn't hurt me, so it's no great burden to me to use a more established, more accurate, less hurtful means of addressing my own hurt.
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* I don't agree 100% with everything in these links, please don't send me asks or reblog this with nitpicks of the links, I'm not interested bc that's not the point of including them.
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bug-the-chicken-nug · 2 years ago
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thinking about a rw/by au where silver eyes are actually a big deal from the start, and everyone knows they're special, so summer is famous and ruby is by extension kinda famous just for even existing tbh this would be nice because then ruby's whole "i just want to be seen as normal" thing from early volumes would feel a lot more meaningful and consistent. the tension between weiss and ruby becomes more of an "i expected more from you" kind of thing from weiss, on top of the expectation that ruby would be more like her and be able to relate to her better, so weiss is like doubly disappointed.
summer's death is like. HUGE. everyone was upset about it, people STILL aren't over it, there was a big funeral, it was all over the news, people keep acting all "oh sorry about your loss" around Ruby because of it, or bringing it up again when she goes to Beacon even though it's already been a pretty good while. Ruby notices more than a little bit that she's now kinda being treated like some priceless faberge egg- Super important, but nobody wants to let her out of their sight or give her much of any real freedom. She starts feeling secretly scared that like maybe she doesn't even deserve to be at Beacon, and her eyes are the only reason she's even there and Ozpin is just *saying* it's because she's good at Hunter stuff.
Ruby/Pyrrha would be my pairing of choice in this AU, because Weiss would be initially let down/put off by how Ruby acts and have to overcome that, but Pyrrha and Ruby would instantly be like "OH SAME HAT???" and just Click. By extension, if Pyrrha still dies the angst there would be IMMENSE (and go predominantly to Ruby and not Jaune, which would feel more appropriately streamlined in terms of character focus) But even with that being said I really wouldn't WANT Pyrrha to die in this AU because I feel like you could get a lot more mileage out of her and Ruby's differing approaches to how they deal with "i'm really special even though i don't entirely want to be, but feel obligated to perform as well as i can or else i am a Failure the moment i mess up at all ever", and the ways their situations are similar and yet different. I think I would still definitely prefer Ruby to still be pretty bad at reliably doing anything with her Silver Eyes, even in spite of everyone knowing what it means from the start, just to heap on even more impostor syndrome (and meta-wise, because that makes it way easier to keep the fights challenging) And she would eventually have to incorporate her knowledge of engineering into figuring out a workaround, like maybe cool visors that help her concentrate the energy they produce, or a way to make something that channels it into her weapon instead (the imagery of a cool scythe where sections of it glow silvery-white and it does Super Effective Grimm Damage is epic in my head)
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campeyourdiems · 4 years ago
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What if Yandere David and Yandere Daniel had a abused S/O he or she was abused by he or her boyfriend.
Howdy! Sorry this took a while to get to we've been ~ sick ~ I hope you haven't gotten too upset. =w=' Also this is gonna be formatted differently because? Tumblr keeps applying the changes I make to the entire post-- Yandere David and Daniel w/ an abused s/o David - He'd notice whatever marks were left on you fairly quickly and ask about them - If you assure him it's nothing he'll still be suspicious - Especially if it keeps happening - If it happens far too often he'll put two and two together - Your s/o will no longer be a problem - This would be one of the only times he'll actively kill - Usually, he just injures the other person to..varying extents - If you straight up tell him about it then the process will go by faster tbh - He might just go right then and there [unless you need comfort, in which case he'll give that first] - He'll be doubly protective after this Daniel - As soon as he'd notice marks on you he'd demand to know what happened - Unlike David, he won't accept it if you lie to him. He knows something's up. - One day your s/o goes missing - Daniel swears he doesn't know what happened, that he'd never hurt anyone - But he's oh so happy they're gone and you'll be ok - After all, you're so precious to him - You may find yourself restricted to his house soon though-
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bramblepaws · 4 years ago
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i really like ur bcb takes and i was wondering if you had anything to say abt daisy + her hypocrisy? like her telling abbey that shes not okay with assault despite her having slapped him without apologizing in a flashback, her telling augustus that having a kiss forced on her was too far even though she tried that with mike minutes earlier, etc. shes right to think that but doesnt seem to recognize it in herself. shes one of my favs but i think confronting this would be good for her growth
oooOOOoh yes daisy’s hypocrisy is probably my favorite thing about her tbh. it’s such an intriguing character flaw. 
i completely agree that her recognizing this in herself would be really good!! she’s got a lot of very firm beliefs that contradict themselves in her own actions and it seems like she has exactly 0 self-awareness about it. 
even just in the way she handled dating abbey.... she clearly cares a lot about the feelings of others and doesn’t think people should get jerked around, but didn’t seem to care At All that she was just kind of coasting along for the sake of attention rather than any actual desire to date him. which she then acts REALLY upset about when she interprets Lucy doing that to Mike. it’s not exactly the same, obviously, but she clearly used to think that Lucy was just using Mike for attention rather than treating him the way that she should.
i actually think that Daisy just gaining more self-awareness about her own feelings and actions would be really good for her. like with the jealousy with Lucy... Daisy is really smart, and I feel like if she actually analyzed her jealousy with Lucy, she’d be like “oh i guess i should work to be more empathetic about this.” because she does care about Lucy and cares a lot about others. like with Paulo -- she clearly empathizes with him a lot. I think it’s mostly because of how long they’ve been Pretty Close friends, but I also think that his looks & charisma come into it. Daisy’s got a REAL big hangup about attractiveness. she lets a lot of people get away with things because they’re handsome/cute to her (Mike, Augustus, Paulo). i think she assumes that everyone thinks this way, too -- hence her being so hung up on Lucy getting away with things all the time. and she never analyzes this as being her OWN style of thinking. she just thinks it’s the way the world works, and gets hung up on how unfair it is that The World Is Like This... instead of realizing that part of it is her own perspective. 
she’s not ENTIRELY wrong; it’s at least partially how the world works. but she puts a lot more stock into it than there is. i think her views would change if she just gained some self-confidence, but that’s easier said than done. it’s also really understandable how she got to this conclusion; she’s always been one of the girls that the guys in her group don’t hound for being Super Sexy. and Lucy DID get away with a lot for a really long time. 
i feel like she and Lucy both deal with weird cultural misogyny in completely different ways.... like, Daisy has to deal with being looked over and condescended to while Lucy has to deal with being constantly objectified. both of them have had to deal with unwanted sexual advances. and Lucy has gotten to the point where she Mostly understands what’s up with Daisy and is just trying to be protective and supportive in her own way. but Daisy isn’t there, yet. she doesn’t really get that she and Lucy are being pitted against each other by forces outside of either of their control, and she doesn’t get that Lucy’s position isn’t really one to be envied. i hope the two of them are able to connect at some point, but i don’t think it’ll happen until they’re well out of high school and can get some perspective & distance on the whole thing. 
wow this got away from me! i just think that Daisy is interesting and that her hypocrisy really sinks into a lot of areas of her life in fascinating ways. and that’s it doubly interesting that she doesn’t notice it at all!! she’s so smart and so un-self aware. 
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bluewolflock · 4 years ago
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We can roll back time Before we were broken inside Leave it all behind Forget the world for awhile Or maybe we'd be strangers And we never needed fixing We'd be okay Because we nеver met at all
Hey so incoming spoilers for Kain’s storyline under the cut, if you don’t want any of that now’s the time to scroll away.
Now, do y’all mind if i scream into the void for a bit
Illin’s death at the end of the storyline really :) upset me :))) KAIN JUST ISN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE EVEN ONE (1) FRIEND FROM HIS DAYS IN THE DRAKAS HUH. AND IT’S DOUBLY UPSETTING BC ILLIN’S WHOLE THING WAS ABOUT HER WANTING TO LIVE AND HAVING SURVIVED FOR AS LONG AS SHE HAD IT ANGERS ME SHE JUST GETS MURDERED (and Kain barely even REACTS, SIR YOUR SISTER JUST KILLED YOUR FRIEND) AND HER DEATH ISN’T EVEN LIKE, FOR PLOT. LUSKA KILLS HER AND THEN THEY JUST MOVE ON,,, THE WAY I CLEARLY CAN’T. AND THIS ISN’T LIMITED TO JUST ILLIN, OH NO, TIRAG AND VIAS GET THAT TREATMENT TOO. Which I find especially weird for Tirag since like, he at least got the honor of actually having a drawn headshot with multiple expressions, tbh I seriously thought he’d at least do more but, I guess not.
And I know character death is like, a staple of Maple, this ain’t my first rodeo folks, I know that getting attached to side characters is just asking for pain but like, it’s frustrating because of the attempts at a build up for story. Kain’s storyline is kind of all over the place and really confusing until you take a second look at it and realize “oh THAT’S what they were trying to do, badly” (they,, really didn’t handle the memory manipulation all that well, it’s really difficult to figure out to what extent it’s being done on the Drakas, bc they clearly aren’t all getting hard resets (a la Zero), but more like their perception of how long they’ve been there is being fucked with? plot did not explain this well) which is doubly frustrating bc the potential is tHERE. I LOVE THIS EDGY IDIOT WITH A HEART OF GOLD AND I WISH HIS STORY WERE BETTER.
I’m particularly upset about Illin because (besides just liking her and being biased) she’s the only one who lives after the other’s get offed and like, you get these tiny hints and fragments of background and possible growth as a result of her survival that you think are gonna pay off in some way since everyone else is dead (like, seriously, WHY did past!Kain trust past!Illin with the coordinates to his home and WHY IS THIS FACT SO DOWNPLAYED, WE COULD HAVE GOTTEN BACKGROUND ON THEIR LIVES IN THE DRAKAS AND THE PEOPLE THEY WERE BEFORE THE MEMORY FUCKERY BEGAN. BACKSTORY ON KAIN’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE OTHERS IN HIS GROUP. Not to mention, Kain and Illin start off pretty distrustful of each other, despite (or because of?) their shared history as members of Drakas, but slowly Kain goes from ‘I’m not sure, maybe she would be the type to stab me in the back’ to ‘Hey Shadowdealers, look out for this woman, she’s a good person’. Like it’s such an interesting dynamic that could’ve been explored more, where they both could’ve worked through their shared trauma of what they went through and maybe heal and grow as people and learn to trust each other and others,and Kain would actually help her get that fucking collar off, bUT NO. NONE OF IT GOES ANYWHERE AND I AM ANGY.
To quote myself rambling at Ivy: GIVE ME THAT 'Distant and Unwilling (bc of Drakas) Co-workers' to 'Uncertain Allies' to 'Awkward Friends' to 'ACUTALLY FUCKING TRUSTING ONE ANOTHER' TO LOVERS THAT I CRAVE, NEXON
Idk, it just feels like his storyline Really Could Have Been That Deep. The potential for a lot of stuff felt like it was there and just, wasn’t explored or elaborated on (bc everyone interesting just, gets killed). I know that’s not exactly odd for maple (seriously stop cramming plot into the first 30 levels and then completely cutting us off until farther off, few levels), but coupled with the pacing it just, left me wanting. I’m just a tad disappointed, nexon :’)
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petewentzisblack1312 · 4 years ago
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is starting a record collection an expensive hobby? im considering starting one tbh
it absolutely is anon its so expensive and very inconvenient. its a terrible hobby for beginners. i love it to death though.
the fact is records are kind of an investment as a physical music medium, because theyre significantly more expensive than any other medium for listening to music. the actual apparatus to listen to records is also pricey. although theres cheap players you can get like the crosley cruiser, for a lot of reasons those can do a lot of damage to your albums really quickly compared to others. if youre mostly interested in the novelty or aesthetic (which i want to be super clear, is totally fine and normal) then its fine and probably even recommended, but if youre interested in regularly listening to music on vinyl or the longevity and preservation of your collection id recommend making the investment. i think those cutesy turntables are a nice way to get people interested and good for when youre not sure if you really want to stick to it but if it becomes a long term hobby you should definitely see to upgrading.
if youre wondering why anyone would do this at all if its so expensive, its kind of the same reason people buy physical books when its more expensive and inconvenient than ebooks. its nice to have a way to tangibly and physically engage with the music youre listening to, and its doubly nice if the record itself is nice to look at and well made/packaged. theres a lot of super cool stuff you can do with vinyl that you cant do with digital music, just like theres a lot of cool stuff you can do with digital music you cant do with vinyl. some people just like to have pretty records to look at, some people (who are insane /lh) only listen to music on vinyl for the experience, and some people, like me, like to have pretty records and the tangible experience of dropping the needle and flipping the record and switching out discs and all that. its like a stim for me.
anyway, besides getting old turntables used from craigslist or ebay or a thrift shop (which can be really cheap!) id recommend the AT LP60 or any of its other models for a budget option or the AT LP120 as a solid first investment. if you go for the former youll likely have to upgrade relatively soon but the latter can last you literally forever unless it gets some major damage. thats another thing with cheap turntables, if something goes wrong (and there are a billion things that can go wrong) you have to buy a whole new turntable, while others are extremely modular and (provided you find yourself sticking with the hobby) last years and even decades with a few upgrades as you find yourself needing them. plus these turntables come with a built in preamp which means less expense for you unless you want to upgrade. you also need a pair of speakers, for beginners id recommend getting active speakers since it takes another thing off youre list and means you just need the speakers and the turntable to start listening to records.
as for finding the records, while it is definitely more expensive than any other medium (other than maybe wax cylinders because those are stupid and worse than records in every conceivable way and thats saying something) there are plenty of ways to find savings. going directly to your local record store and crate digging is one way, youll often find used records in good condition. discogs is a great website for finding physical music, especially records. ebay is fine but its prices are generally not as competitive as discogs.
some tips and notes:
coloured vinyl does not sound worse than black vinyl thats a rumour that was started by old white men who were upset teen girls find records pretty (except glow in the dark, that does sound worse)
a lot of things people say are absolutely necessary really and truly arent but that makes it really hard to figure out which things are actually absolutely necessary.
in that vein if someone tells you that you need to remove the preamp from your at lp120 run very quickly in the opposite direction they are an audiophile and cannot be trusted
hold your records by the outer edge and the label instead of pinching the edge and DO NOT touch the grooves.
clean your records with a microfiber cloth before playing them.
i recommend replacing the paper innersleeves with nicer ones.
do not stack records, keep them upright like a book, and also dont keep too many of them squished up close together, and also dont let them lean on each other too much.
be careful with your needle, and keep it clean. also, pay attention to the tracking weight of your cartridge and the antiskate on your tonearm. sometimes a skip on your record is actually because of something wrong here.
the plural of vinyl (the material) is vinyl but the plural of vinyl (as in short for vinyl records) is vinyls because its an abbreviation of a singular phrase. old white dudes are wrong in service of being condescending. this is not new. say it how you want. language and the people who try to police it are both tools.
buy whatever records make you happy and not what you think you should buy.
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stovetuna · 5 years ago
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This is for @bardingbeedle who yelled at me in the tags and then on messenger and ultimately inspired me to write some “lorge soft steve��� and tbh who am I to refuse. (also high-key inspired by this masterpiece of fanart I RBed [again] earlier today)
(takes place shortly after the events of Avengers Assemble episode 2x07, aka the best fic none of us ever wrote)
(heed the READ MORE!)
***
Tony is hustling from one meeting to the next, all but literally running into the kitchen for a cup of afternoon coffee, when he spies Steve Rogers bent over the communal living room coffee table. That in and of itself isn’t exactly outside the realm of normal Steve Rogers activities—the man does love a good brood, even if he won’t admit it and doesn’t do it as often as he used to.
But Tony wracks his brain for possible reasons why Steve would be hunched up around the shoulders like he’s expecting a body blow any minute and keeps coming up empty. Not even fresh coffee makes his synapses fire faster. Did they forget his birthday? Impossible. Did someone send Captain America hate mail? Uh, doubly impossible, especially because Tony’s got lawyers screening their mail for that kind of stuff (they’ve got more than enough pressure in their day-to-day lives, time-slip dinosaurs and age regressions notwithstanding).
Maybe Steve found a piece of upsetting news, or some fact of modern history that isn’t sitting well with him? That’s a lot more likely.
Before he can remind himself that Pepper’s waiting in his office to put him on a call with the president of MIT—something about a commencement speech, if memory serves—Tony is sauntering into the living room, nonchalant, tongue already prickling with some smart remark. He’s got it all written out in his head like a perfect line of code up until the moment he’s standing in front of Steve and sees the expression on his face.
“Whoa, who ran over your puppy?”
Tony winces, wishing for the millionth time that his mouth and his brain could work together simultaneously, but no. Worse, Steve doesn’t even answer him—he just frowns harder, if that’s even possible, and folds in on himself like his shoulders alone don’t take up half the length of the massive couch. Tony lowers the hand holding his coffee and blinks.
“Steve?”
“Oh!” Steve jumps upright, and quick as a flash moves something vaguely folder-shaped behind his back. “Tony! I didn’t hear you walk in—don’t you have a meeting right now?”
Something in Tony’s chest squeezes at the sight of that smile and at Steve’s impeccable attention to detail. But really, ever since the incident with the Time Stone, when he’d jolted back into his adult body and come to in Steve’s arms, he’s felt completely knocked off-balance. Now everything about Steve Rogers—the man, not the superhero—is a revelation. Every smile, every word, every look has Tony tripping over his own feet, tongue, thoughts. He may be back in his adult body, but he’s never felt more like a prepubescent teenager with a crush, fidgeting in place under Steve’s gaze.
“It got postponed,” he lies, because whatever has put that pinch between Steve’s eyebrows is way more important right now. “What’s up?”
“Nothing!” Steve replies, too loud and too quickly. Tony gives him a look. Steve flushes, shrinking in on himself even further, like he wants the couch to devour him. “Uh, nothing important. Just an anniversary I forgot about.”
Now it’s Tony’s turn to frown. He likes to think he’s got a solid mental calendar of important dates for all of his teammates memorized at this point—Natasha’s move-in, Bruce’s lab incident, Sam’s SHIELD acceptance, Steve being found in the ice—but none of those are today.
“Got room for one more?” Tony asks, nodding at the scant space next to Steve on the couch when the man gives him a questioning look. Steve’s cheeks immediately go a charming shade of pink, which churns the coffee in Tony’s empty stomach with a vengeance. Steve shifts to press himself against the arm as Tony moves to sit down next to him, almost crushing the folder Steve had hidden earlier in the process. There’s a gasp, and a lightning-quick hand, and then Steve, pale and breathless, is holding a manila folder against his chest like it’s the secret to the Super Soldier Serum.
It’s weird—Tony knows Steve trusts him, and vice versa. They wouldn’t have solved the riddle of the Time Stone if they didn’t trust each other. So to sit next to Steve, who’s gone from morose to terrified in the three minutes since Tony walked into the room and feel a wall between them is jarring. And upsetting. He’s only been nursing this crush for a few days, and Steve’s not that perceptive…is he? Maybe he is. Maybe this is Steve weeding out Tony’s feelings before they’ve even had a chance to grow.
Tony shakes his head at the thought. No, Steve’s a lot of things, but cruel isn’t one of them.
“Care to share with the class?” he asks, gently so he doesn’t spook Steve. It seems to work: Steve relaxes, tension falling from his shoulders as he eases into Tony’s presence. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, but keeps the folder pressed securely against his sternum. Tony tries hard not to steal a glance at the way Steve’s shirt pulls across his broad, thick chest as he breathes.
“It’s nothing.”
“Cap, if it was nothing, you wouldn’t be trying to Honey-I-Shrunk-Myself into the couch right now.”
Steve Rogers in active wear doesn’t cut quite the same figure as Steve Rogers in full Captain America regalia, it’s true, but that doesn’t mean he’s small. Like this, he’s just as large and has just as much presence as he does in uniform; it’s just…more human. Less Captain, more Steve. Both are devastating in their own way, but only Steve—friendly, blushing, awkward, unassuming Steve—makes Tony acutely aware of the distance between their bodies, down to the last electrified hair.
Catching his own breath, Tony puts his full mug on the coffee table and drops his hands into his lap, turning his head to watch Steve chew on whatever words are fighting to come out. Be patient, he tells himself. Whatever this is, Steve’s struggling with it, and Tony can have some tact when he wants to.
Finally, Steve closes his eyes and sighs. When he lowers his hands, the folder goes with them. Tony glances at the cover and almost swallows his tongue.
“Is that—?” Steve makes a noncommittal sound, like a ‘yes’ but softer, uncertain, like he’s not sure Tony’s reaction is a good one. Tony swallows his excitement with a wince. “Is that the Project Rebirth file? I told Fury to give it to you a long time ago, but I wasn’t sure he did.”
Tony is so preoccupied looking at the folder he doesn’t hear Steve’s gasp or notice his eyes lock onto him. “He did,” Steve replies quietly after a pause. “But that’s isn’t…that’s not what this is about.”
That’s kind of a surprise. The sudden appearance of the Project Rebirth file would explain Steve’s face and body language, but if it’s not that…
Steve hands the entire folder over to Tony without another word.
“Uh,” Tony gapes, too awestruck to achieve any kind of higher brain function.
“Look at the date,” Steve says. It’s not an order, just a gentle request, but it doesn’t prevent a shiver from rippling down the length of Tony’s spine. If he was hyperaware of the space between their bodies before, it’s even worse now with Steve leaning every-so-slightly toward him and reaching out a hand to point directly at the date written on the faded label.
22 June 1943
Tony blinks. “It’s the anniversary…of you?” He opens the folder without a second thought, and the first thing he sees is a picture of Steve. There are other things in the file—sheaves of what look like medical reports, heavily redacted memos, and carbon copies of typed letters—but the only thing Tony can focus on is Steven Grant Rogers circa 1943. The Steven Grant Rogers of before.
He’s touching the photo before he can stop himself, being so, so careful as he traces the narrow shape of the man in the photograph while the real, supersized thing sits next to him.
“It’s the first time I’ve really had a chance to sit and think about what it was like, before,” Steve says, unprompted. “Everything happened so fast once I got the serum, I didn’t have time to just…take it all in. And then I went into the ice and—well. You know the rest.”
All skin and bones, this man, back then. But the jut of his jaw is the same; the serum didn’t change that, or the flinty stubbornness in Steve’s eyes, or the proud set of his shoulders, just daring the world to try and fuck with him. Tony smiles—Steve before the serum is like a matchstick, short and thin and always one spark away from bursting into flame. He really didn’t change a bit.
When Tony finally looks up from the photo (not gazing, of course not), he sees Steve’s expression has gone pinched again, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.
“Alright, there’s that face again. Out with it, Cap.”
Steve really shouldn’t bite his lip—it’s bad for Tony’s health. But Tony’s comment does get him to smile a little bit, which is good. “I guess…it’s been over seventy years since I got the serum, but most days I still feel like that skinny guy in the picture.” Tony watches him as he speaks, taking in the faraway look in Steve’s eyes, the shrinking posture, the downward turn of his mouth—who says I can’t be observant, Tony thinks—and wishes he and Steve were the kind of friends who hugged outside of catastrophic cosmic events. God knows it looks like Steve could use one, as wound up and tense as he is right now.
“I’ve broken so many things by accident because I keep forgetting I’m this, now,” he says, gesturing broadly at himself with one hand. Frowning, Steve uses that same hand to brace his forehead, elbow dropping down onto his thigh. The man is the picture of misery, and Tony aches to comfort him. It’s a physical pull in the pit of his stomach, urgent and needy—like if he doesn’t get his arms around Steve Rogers right this second, something important inside him is going to malfunction.
Tony shoves his hands under his thighs and nods. “Dr. Erskine could turn you into a super soldier,” he says softly, “but he couldn’t erase the first 27 years of your life.” He doesn’t speak his next thought aloud—that if there was in fact a way to erase those years, Tony would have signed up for the very first clinical trial. It’s a grim thought, and not something Steve needs to hear right now, but it’s been on Tony’s mind ever since his brief return to adolescence, and it’s a hard one to shake.
But what Steve heard seems to help. He peeks at Tony through his fingers and swallows loud enough even Tony can hear it.
“Yeah,” he rasps, “something like that.”
“What else?”
“What?”
“What else is bugging you? About this?”
Steve lowers his hand and stares at Tony. Stares. It’s such a feeling, being stared at by Steve Rogers, Tony can feel the heat climbing up from underneath his t-shirt. Even the arc reactor feels a bit warmer in his chest.
“How could you tell?”
“You’re still doing your level-best impression of a Shrinky Dink, Cap,” Tony replies. “Kind of hard not to notice.”
“I have no idea what that is,” Steve laughs, a hoarse, dry sound, “but you’re not wrong. I guess…I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words.”
“Try.”
Seriously, when Steve looks at him like that—like he did when Tony soared through the air as Iron Kid, all awe and pride and warmth—Tony feels capable of anything. Anything. He’d bottle that feeling, if he could, just like he’d bottle the color of Steve’s hair in the afternoon light coming in through the living room windows right now, all warm, pale yellows shot through with gold. If the photo in the file were in full color, Tony would bet his fortune Steve’s hair would be the same shade it is now.
Because Steve Rogers has always been perfect. Damn him.
“I still feel small,” Steve says, and any thoughts of hair and perfection derail abruptly. Looking into the middle-distance past his nose, he continues, “I don’t fit in this body. That doesn’t make sense, but—it’s like the super soldier is a mold, and I’m just there rattling around inside it, too small to fit. Does that—does that make any sense?” He looks at Tony imploringly, begging him with his eyes to understand. Tony feels that tug again, worse now, to wrap his arms around Steve and hold him tight. Call it returning the favor for the other day with the Time Stone, call it acting on his crush, whatever.
No one so large has ever looked as small as Steve Rogers does right now.
“It does,” Tony croaks.
“Really?”
“Really. I mean, how do you think I feel inside the suit?”
Steve makes a sound at that—not a whimper, not a gasp, but something hovering between the two that splits Tony’s heart right down the middle. “I never thought of it that way,” he whispers. “But that’s it. That’s exactly it.” Visible relief fills Steve’s lungs and makes his entire body go lax, leaning closer to Tony in the process. Tony, of course, is hyperaware of Steve’s size—everyone except Thor and Hulk is small compared to him—but now he’s equally aware of who’s operating the Cap-suit, so to speak.
“The only difference is, I can take my super-suit off,” Tony says, pinching the underside of his own thigh to cut off a laugh—Steve hasn’t seen The Incredibles yet—and continues, “you can’t. That’s bound to make a guy feel uncomfortable, even you, Mr. ‘I can handle anything you throw at me.’” He elbows Steve a little, good-naturedly, for emphasis, and gets a full, beautiful smile for his efforts.
God. Skinny or huge, Steve Rogers is gorgeous. It really shouldn’t be allowed.
“Yeah, good point.” Face still split by a smile—I put that there, Tony preens—Steve leans against the back of the couch and sighs. “There are things I miss, though. About being small. I didn’t think I did, until…” He glances at Tony, then, and there’s no missing the blush creeping up his neck.
“Until?”
“The other day,” Steve replies. “When you de-aged, and I—when we—” Tony bites his tongue so hard he’s pretty sure he tastes blood. Don’t interrupt. Let him get it out. Steve laughs breathily. “When I hugged you, I was so glad I was in a position to protect you, physically, like that. But later on I kept thinking about how much I miss being the protected one, sometimes. Not always, but. Sometimes.” Steve looks at the photo and sighs. “I keep thinking about what it felt like when ma looked after me when I was sick, or when Bucky put himself between me and the bigger guy because he knew I couldn’t take another hit…sure I resented it a little, being so weak, but I liked…that.”
“You liked being cared for.”
The look Steve levels at Tony could drive away a storm.
“Yeah,” he husks. “I did.”
“And now that you’re—” Tony waves a hand at Steve’s everything, “—this, you think you don’t, what, deserve care?”
“Maybe?” Steve blinks. “I don’t know.”
“Cap—Steve,” Tony says, putting his hands palms-up in his lap so Steve can see all of him. No threat, no judgment. “Everyone wants to feel cared for. It’s human nature. And just because you’re superhuman doesn’t mean you’re inhuman.”
Damn if those therapy sessions Pepper forced him into aren’t paying off big time right now. If the sheen in Steve’s eyes is anything to go by, Tony’s hit the nail right on the head.
“Oh,” he breathes.
“Yeah,” Tony smiles. Butterflies be damned, he moves the project file onto the coffee table next to his now-cold mug and turns toward Steve. Slowly, he opens his arms. “C’mere,” he says, so quiet only Steve would hear if anyone else was around. As it is, they’re alone in the tower, and Steve doesn’t hesitate—one moment Tony’s arms are empty and the next he’s got 240 pounds of solid muscle curling into his chest and Steve’s tucking his big head under Tony’s chin like the world’s neediest Bernese mountain dog.
Thankfully, Tony’s arms are just long enough to fit all the way around Steve’s massive shoulders. And even if they weren’t, he’d find a way to make it work.
Knees knocking together, feet brushing up against each other on the carpet, Steve shifts and adjusts until he can wrap his arms around Tony’s waist. Once he settles in, he sighs right into the notch at the base of Tony’s throat. “Thank you, Tony.”
“Anytime, big guy,” Tony replies, softly with a warm smile he thinks Steve can’t see.
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the-nysh · 4 years ago
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I just wanna say thank you for writing the recently analysis meta for Garou being an empath, that's an excellent explanation and I always enjoyed your essay about OPM or MP100 characters!
Tbh I think the OP's post is meant to be a lighthearted one, therefore there's no intention to slander Garou's characterization at all, I assure you. On the other hand, I also like your take on Garou about the matter, the way he understands Tareo and want to help him going through it.
My dumbass brain take is, Garou has clearly shown empathy for others and totally has capacity for emotional intelligence, he just didn't know how to say it right. Knowing his social skill beforehand is pretty much non-existent, and Garou also doesn't have anyone else to opened up about himself (no friends, his mentor basically doesn't want to listen to him, everyone was kinda afraid of him, Garou himself has trust issue towards others since the bullying happened, etc). He gets difficulty on how to deliver what he actually means. Thus Garou said some dumb things instead, even though he has well-intentions. Someone please give him more friends to interact with! :""(
Anyways, thanks alot for giving more of your insight about Garou, love it! ❤
Oh! :’) Ah, thank you anon! And no worries, everything was clarified in the responses of that post, so it’s all good~
But exactly, from such circumstances of his origins, here Garou’s always felt that much, both from witnessing and experiencing injustice himself, but he’s just...never allowed himself or gained/practiced the tools needed to properly process his anger. Which compels him to hastily react (even acting on others’, like Tareo’s, behalf) and often leads him down to make some very rash (dumb) decisions without thinking things thru (cause hey he’s young). And his ability to honestly face his feelings, or even openly express himself to others is well...oop, quite inexperienced. :’D He’s basically as ‘eloquent’ as Saitama is when it comes to explaining himself and articulating his thoughts/feelings well, aha. But even so, he still can’t help but feel (cause it’s part of who he is), even when his capacity to care that much upsets him. So his inner conflict (and part of his appeal on his journey to find/accept himself) is that he’s not the heartless ‘monster’ he believes himself to be, to the point of denying his true nature and forcing himself to perform as someone he’s not. :’) Cause as we see, in those other telling moments, his true self still shines through~
---
Anyway, witnessing and lightly teasing all his antics is fun, because he’s a silly dork yes, but (and this is addressing a separate, but general fandom observation I’ve seen over time) it’s another story when I see genuine character hatred for him over on reddit for ex (usually from incomplete readings of the story or misinformation about him, from people wanting him to die or hoping Saitama kills him at the end of MA arc in extreme yikes cases)...because then I honestly can’t tell anymore if some of the fandom’s common takes & ‘jokes’ about Garou are made thru fond endearment (simply poking fun), or are just veiled excuses for continued character bashing. o.o Blurring the lines and confusing me even more when I see fellow Garou fans going along with it like it’s accepted, or unknowingly(?) spreading it further like nothing’s amiss. Like...whoa wait, guys??? I thought we already knew and trusted his character more than this? D:
For example, most of the time things are pretty chill so it’s no big deal, but sometimes I see this strange trend of mean spirited & fatalistic ‘humor’ towards him even in the teen squad posts for instance, where Garou’s often demeaned or used as the butt-end of a joke. Making bullying ‘jokes’ at his expense in ways that are....truly unfunny (especially when considering his past, it comes off either tone deaf or unsettling in poor taste). Worst case, it makes me resent those fanon characters who’re portrayed perpetuating the same cycle that got Garou so upset in the first place. D: (Which is another ❌ for me when it’s Genos who’s used in this role. ;o; So I doubly don’t like it when the Garou-bashing ‘jokes’ have the adverse effect of making me dislike Genos too, noo!) So you see? :’) It’s sometimes hard to tell what’s up or considered ‘funny’ anymore, when it feels like the circumstances that made and shunned Garou in the first place, are ironically circling back around towards him again, but playing out in real-time (which I’ve become privy to notice, but I’m not sure if other fans are aware yet). Overall, when it comes down to a case-by-case basis of what content to look for, I think Tareo canonically summarizes that mindful feeling best:
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startwithbrooklyn · 4 years ago
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THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 28-29, 2019 // the bonny scot
posting this a day later than normal because this is one of the rare episodes that shows a passage of time from one day to the next yayy love that for them
-wonder what filming these beginning sexy scenes is like for them in real life
-sooooo can lucy see nancys sexy dream? is she judging? does this mean she likes nancy with owen or nick more? or is she trying to tell nancy that her sex dreams are irrelevant to the mystery at hand and she needs to focus?
-seeing people in the ✨prison chair✨: gomber, carson, karen (voting for josh s3 just saying)
-completely ignores carson's question about herself typical nance
-"or maybe i did stumble across a knife" its like hes trying to make the case against him look plausible while attempting to maintain innocence. this is a slippery slope for carson to try and encourage her to keep her pacified + hide the truth while also trying to keep her from getting involved bc hudsons
-"genetics gets you in the door" aaaaand then she walks in to everetts office to meet him and crashes their family dinner
-ok who tf is dawn and why is she in charge here
-this guidance counselor of nicks is my favorite person
-"i admire your allergy to pleasantries" bess and nancy both have reveals to big families but nancy does not have the graceful, accepting reveal to her rich family like bess does at this lunch. nancys reveal is messy, cold, bloodstained and sticky-fingered, not nice in any way whatsoever. and this little chat with everett (bit of a parallel to lucy's) just highlights how nancy is always bad at bargaining with her grandparents*- always trying to fight on their level but giving up her equal hand bc she doesnt know how to hide it when they bring up something she doesnt know. like confronting celia at the masque: she was so confident with her theory and what she knew, but then we got a "what does that mean?" like. the instant you say that, you lose. and she walked right into the "yes i do have someone, hes in jail" 🤦🏼‍♀️ even in the car with ryan at the end of s1, he literally just fucking leaves her there. like 🤷🏼‍♀️ what did u think was gonna happen sis?? for all she can predict how past things lead to present circumstances shes fucking awful at seeing the direct future *(grandparents except for patrice bc her dementia makes her inaccessable)
-lmaooooo this awko ass portrait...i get the empty space is for nance but who on earth thought this was a good pic??
-LISBETH 🥺💙
-"will u help the claw for me?" george struggles financially to keep her livelihood while nancy is somehow shown as being taken care of even when her parent is incarcerated; both nancy and george live in single parent homes now with mention of both medical debt and george being breadwinner yet nancy has no struggles while george does. (i wonder if ryan had been able to help george here how the story would have changed)
-"when it comes to following people around without their knowledge or consent i am somewhat of a repeat offender" 😂😂😂
-"he wasnt endgame after all" BESS lmaoooo
-"...okay." lmaoooo i fuckin love owen
-i was hoping the girls' faces would be more shocked like with a glance to owen but they just....werent
-"we're the good guys" <---- this statement is soooo interesting in terms of how they structure the show and how the characters see themselves (its an interesting contrast with the more definitive good vs evil with things that are both clearly good and clearly evil but theres also a lot of moral grey area here, the show is kinda swamped in it. are nancy and crew the good guys? are they the bad guys in someone else's story? concerns.)
-"i'd call it more than just stuff" like why did u concede that??? and then the shit about oof that didnt sound like a compliment lmaoooooo why does she suck at arguing?? she and owen wouldnt work long term bc theyre so similar (as mentioned later on)
-i LOVE george slowly falling in love with nick here- hence how upset she gets when nick bails on her for nancy later (which is totally justified!!!)
-i am LIVING for the little nod this driver guy gives bess when she turns back around all nervous 😂
-"i do like buying things" i would so say that too tbh
-"you'd have plenty to talk about" LMFAOOOOOOO SHE KNOWS "marvins dont marry drivers" so diana is totally fine with the gay its just the poor she has a problem with 😂💙fuckin love that
-love how nancy just casually ruins everything for nick/george lmaooo
-"i have seen you at your best, nancy, and there is nothing like it." 🥴😳 i love this still-in-love look nancy gives him thats so strong he had to change the subject
-so is haunting time 11 pm? from that clock of bashiir's?
-how do NO neighbors notice this fucking water and shit
-these are TOTALLY AWFUL fake screams from the bonny scot crew 😭
-"i know well enough not to get involved when he's in play" both carson and ryan avoid engaging with everett even though nancy is willing to do so armed with less info and more balls/ but "could i trust him" and ryan says yes lmaooooo NO honey + that makes ryan 0/2 for helping the girls when they ask this ep
-"find a project of your own" and he does, with his youth center 🙏🏻💙 what s2 foreshadowing!
-"god i wish i still drank" 😂😂😂
-"she is darling." 💙👌🏻
-okay wtf is mirror bay??
-i really wonder about the extent of celia x sebastians relationship here. did she truly care about him or was it just secret and exciting sex? also would love more hints of diana vs celia moments like these. celia doesnt even look upset. i mean shes had time to deal but like wtf. and who exactly is sebastian to diana? not her husband? like damn what if he was. somehow i doubt she'd talk about him diddling celia if diana was disrespected also
-i wonder if celia being so invested in dna testing nancy was bc everrett dna tested ryan to make sure he was his bc of sebastian / other men (which would be totally valid on his part!! but wouldnt it be funny as fuck if ryan wasnt his 😂)
-what a neat hiding place in this frame lmaooo who put that in for them tho? like how do u go about ordering that
-"you certainly are your fathers daughter" this quote is doubly ironic and foreshadowy bc theyre referencing carson here as being a useful hudson attaché but nancy is playing everett just like ryan played celia about putting his house up (but TRIPLY ironic bc carson pulls off the long con of hiding nancy from the hudsons right under their noses this whole time!) the one time nancy is successful against them
-that bess/lisbeth look while lisbeth does something badass (+diana reassessing now that lisbeth has been revealed to be useful)
-"almost as fun as a real fight" why do i believe him? lmaoooo a bit weird that he would enjoy a fight w a partner, but i also think this is an acknowledgement of nancy being an "opponent" who exists at his level. but i also love the "let me take you out" as a direct mirror of her relationship with nick, where she avoids the public acknowledgment/"going out" but prefers the more subtle/hidden arrangements of staying in. but as shown with later eps, owen is way more capable of meeting nancy where shes at, which is so important to her + the only way of getting close to nancy. (the only foil is ace who somehow is able to do both)
-"not always about a guy" <---- this could have been such a powerful statement if the show had thought having nancy end up alone/choose herself instead of pitting her between love interests (nick, owen, gil, even potentially ace, in only 2 seasons) was a more worthy stance to take ; as an aro/ace person i cant tell you how much i would kill to see just one female protag choose herself over a man. and its more realistic to end up alone than have a happy ending anyway, for all that these shows try to be as "real" and gritty grimdark as possible
-"is that what you want?" this is an interesting question to his mother- like maybe he senses her unhappiness? combined with his issues with his father- still trying to look out for his mom? either way it's sweet. (it could also potentially work as foreshadowing of something happening to her, but i think that was played with but then diverted when it was revealed who really killed her) "i think its time i steer this ship" still kind of patriarchal tho. i get that its him coming into his own as a dad technically but still. i also like how he calls her "mother" and not mom
-love that old white people thumbs up at george asking about his clams 👍🏻
-okay fuck dawn tho lmfaoooo
-"stressful dinner huh?" 😂 i fucking love lisbeth so much why didnt they bring her back (wouldnt it be Fucking Hilarious if they brought lisbeth back to bounce bess on her expired visa since the marvins kicked her out and didnt fix it lmaoooooo)
-BESS IS A TOP lmaooooooo i fuckin knew it
-nick says "you can pay me back" wonder if thats gonna come back in s3 considering their "marital problems" (also, those bonds are sosus lmfaoooo if any single person cashing those was looked at sideways they'd confess in 2 seconds that some random guy is handing out bearer bonds they dont even make anymore with absolutely zero proof as to how he got them)
-"you wanna finish what you started?" 👀 (dont mind if i do)
-"i need my dad back" parallels s2 when she asks him to come home
-parent politics: "you are taking your life in your hands / no, i'm putting it in yours" vs "i know well enough not to get involved when hes in play" both carson and ryan try to dissuade nancy from pursuing her pulling this con on everett but go about it different ways: carson is wildly concerned with nancys physical wellbeing but ryan appears to be leaning more towards weighing the odds for her/ like a "you cant win so cut your losses/dont try" scenario which interestingly might have more weight with nancy; its easy for her to brush aside carson's worrying like second nature but nancy has been established to be a determined winner, and ryan speaks to her here like shes a beginners luck prodigy at a blackjack table by encouraging her to keep her record clean by not dealing in this next round. of course she herself admits shes incapable of not dealing in ie "you know me better than that" but i have lots more thoughts on how effective ryans approaches to nancy can be sometimes (saving for the reveal ep 🙏🏻)
-wonder what all carson knows about the hudsons? + that look on his face when he hangs up... wonder if he was just lying to her about knowing anything or just ashamed at having to admit bad things hes done for them
-love nick & bashiir waiting together 🙏🏻💙+ nicks very strong and pointed "good night" as a means of ending his convo w nancy on his terms (gotta reinforce those boundaries man!)
and lastly
-celia + that gossip girl moment when she just throws the whole phone away 😂(wonder if she was just talking to "gus" or whoever that guy was. keep forgetting the bobbseys' dad is in prison too, wonder if he'll feature in s3)
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happyhippystuff · 5 years ago
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it’s been...... interesting. 
over the past 2 months, i think i’ve had more tough conversations with the bf than i’ve had over the past year plus together with him. sometimes, it scares me because i feel like i am alw walking on eggshells, not knowing when i would push the button and he will leave. the therapist told me that, i needed to trust the bf more, and he told me that i love the bf which, took me by surprise because i always feel like i don’t know how to love and what is love. 
i think my natural inclination is to just escape bc it is always easier to have my reality lined up with my schema. it is always easier to slide back into comfort, but that would also mean, never discovering a better version of me, or of life. it would also mean cheating myself of whatever that could have been possible. idk some days i feel like i am ready to be a new me, but other days, i just want to rest because i am so tired from the war in my head. 
it helps though, being more open with my struggles, and giving myself (or trying to) the permission to be a certain way and to accept. it doesn’t come easy, and it is a conscious effort. not gna lie that i still look outside for validation, a lot, but i am working on it. i am working on acknowledging how i feel as it is, and that all emotions serve a function. one thing i realised is, i tend to ask if it is normal to feel a certain way or am i overreacting just because i am so used to being invalidated/ dismissed/ rejected, i don’t know how to feel anymore. 
anyhow, therapy has been good. sometimes, its not about knowing more things, but its just nice to be validated and to be heard. to know that okay maybe its not all my fault or just learning new skills. i’ve also been looking/reading up on DBT skills and trying to apply them in my daily life, because practice makes perfect right? 
and also, my diet and sleep has been a mess. i wake up tired as heck, and when i am tired, i just binge a lot. and when i binge, i feel awful about myself and unworthy and disgusted which often triggers a SH episode. then i will try to mitigate by restricting but it will backfire and i get doubly upset because now its like..... i am OUT OF CONTROL + i’ve just rly been physically TIRED so i haven’t been working out. tbh, idk what causes what - i am tired bc i didn’t workout, or i don’t workout bc i am tired. anyhow, i certainly need to do sth about my diet, in a healthy, loving and regulated way. which idk how, but i guess, focus on one change at a time. so maybe for a start, i will focus on eating 3 proper meals with no tricks up my sleeve v_v 
and be patient. patient. 
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su-angelvicioso · 5 years ago
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Maria x Jessamine though. Also Maria x Victoria. Maria x Siobhan. I'd love some good ol' hcs from you and if you have the time moodboards but if not I'm glad to ramble on them in later asks
🌸María x Jessamine: I’ve written a little bit for these two here so you’re in luck anon!!
A few hc’s:
• Jessamine is always like “Listen, I know my girlfriend is crazy, but once you get to know her she’s actually a huge mush ball and a pleasure to be around!” and then right behind her, María is setting something on fire and laughing maniacally.
• This is a little nsfw but even though María is the little spoon, Jessamine lovess laying on her breasts. They’re just perfect and sometimes she gets so comfortable she’ll wrap her arms around Maria’s little body and just lightly squeeze, letting her know she’s happy.
• María defends Jessamine like crazy. She thinks she’s just a huge soft plushie and she feels comfortable and happy with her and she basically thinks she can do no wrong lol. If someone tries to call Jessa out, María will step in and either try to take all the heat -much to Jessa’s dismay- or straight up defend her name, as she never wants Jessa to feel bad about anything ever because it hurts her to see such a thing. She made up a joke by butchering her name. When she’s feeling particularly affectionate and loving, she’ll call her “Jessa-Mine” which always serves to make the blonde crack a smile. 
🌺María x Victoria: I’ve also written a little something for this ship as well here so you’re doubly lucky! lol.
A few hc’s:
• María and Victoria are both chaotic queens so naturally, they get into A Lot Of Shit lmao. One of them has a crazy idea and the other one is already on board and adding even more wild ideas to it. It’s just how they function. They have warrants out for their arresst in a lot of states but tbh they wouldn’t have it any other way because they’re together through it all.
• They show love in funny, and sometimes dramatic ways. María comes home to see Victoria has smeared “I Love You” in blood. When asked about it, her only response was “We’re vampires. So I thought the blood would be significant to show A Positive Love... the blood is A positive... your favorite! :D”
• Whenever they’re mad at each other, it never really lasts that long because they have a hard time not getting sucked into each others wild ass messes or they end up doing something nice for the other even tho they’re upset. They’ll be super pissed at each other one minute and then the next minute María is peeking over at Victoria while she’s eating and Victoria’s like “>_> I shouldn’t give you anything..” while literally feeding her lol. Or they’d have just had a whole fight and a little later on Victoria’s planning to break into a zoo to see the animals and María (known animal lover per my past hc’s) is like “I’m still mad at you but we are gonna have fun do ya hear me?! Now hold my hand!! Don’t talk to me tho!! >_>” 
🌼María x Siobhan: I’ll admit, I’ve never thought of this as a ship before and I kinda forgot about Siobhan so I had to read about her a lil more to get a feel on her character to be able to properly respond to this ask, and I learned some things I hadn’t known before, like she’s 6’2!! I remember it saying she was tall but I didn’t remember her exact height. I can’t believe Meyer allowed a woman to get that tall lol. Also she was changed at 20 and has black hair in the books? She also had an interest in humans who could turn into vampires with gifts kinda like Aro, but her interest was satisfied after she changed Maggie. I didn’t know that part either lol. But I definitely think it could be cute!! small, bodacious, chaotic María with Tall gorgeous, curvaceous sweet Irish Siobhan? Cute!!
A few hc’s:
• When María first met Siobhan, she was extremely on edge but also very hot for her lol. She’d never really seen such a woman before so her eyes were wide open as she marveled at the six foot two goddess standing in front of her. But she was on edge because, knowing all that she does, all of those things gave this strange woman a physical advantage, which made her potentially dangerous. However, Siobhan crushed all of those initial feelings and thoughts of danger away after getting to know each other better. Which they did well because they both were very intrigued by the other.
• Siobhan and María fell in love with each other’s immense strength. What with Siobhans history of being a blacksmith, it definitely granted her some power to which María absolutely adores. She’s literally always hanging onto her muscles and practically swoons whenever Siobhan flexes them for her. Siobhan loves María’s mental strength. How she’s seen and beared the brunt of so much brutality. Siobhan can see it deep in her eyes, the girl has been through hell and back many times over.. yet she still fights for another day, sometimes even with a smile on her face. Siobhan respects and admires that a lot.
• In their relationship, Siobhan is most definitely the level headed one that has to bail their lover out of the consequences of their hijinks. It truly amazes her how someone so tiny can be so powerful and destructive, without a distinct gift of her own. Siobhan calls her “bubba bee” for that exact reason, because she’s always on the move, buzzing around for something to get into lol. Every single time María comes running through the door closing and locking it, Siobhan deeply sighs without looking up from whatever she’s doing like “What did you do now bubba bee?” and María’s like “It’s a long story mi amada, but i can fix it i swear!!” But Siobhan knows she’s lying and she always reprimands her for it too. Siobhan has a lot of wisdom and knowledge that she passes onto María to better her mental health, psychological pain, and behavioral issues. Siobhan heals her in a way. Slowly but surely, which María is very greatful for. She prays for Siobhan and thanks the heavens for having crossed her path. She notices that she feels… lighter with her.
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lookbluesoup · 6 years ago
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Since you asked me, allow me to turn the question around. Will Nate and Piper ever have children? Or are Nat and Shaun enough of a handful as is?
😱 Okay that’s fair!!
Yessss they do! :D ANd since I cannot be concise here is an essay about it!!!
I agree about birth control being hard to get in the apocalypse and probably also very unsafe or unreliable to use. But fertility would be absolutely wrecked by radiation/poor nutrition/etc so accidental pregnancies are very rare anyway. The real struggle would be having a kid on purpose for the vast majority of folks. 
I headcanon Piper’s upbringing and lifestyle reflects that reality pretty squarely and she believes herself completely infertile. Which she tells Nate before any intimacy between them occurs. Ergo, they don’t worry about being safe or having a plan for if a pregnancy were to occur because… it’s not supposed to be possible. In any other situation I think they would’ve been much more careful about it. Nate learned that lesson with Shaun being a surprise, and Piper grew up in the Commonwealth countryside where bad harvests could mean starvation. The Wasteland is not a good place for Oops Babies. … tbh if they’d actually thought it was a possibility I’m nooot sure they would’ve ended up having children xDD
BUT. A few years post main quest, as the Commonwealth starts to stabilize, better nutrition is easier to come by. Medicine, too. Nate’s a healthy partner, comparatively untouched by the radiation that plagues the general population. And the two are, to put it lightly, not shy around one another. All combined, it’s enough to tip the scale. Piper goes to Doc Sun complaining of radiation sickness one day only to get the bombshell that it’s not radiation sickness at all. ( I actually have a fic about this on ao3, it’s a personal fav :D )
Piper’s most pressing fear is that Nate might be upset, either at her or the situation. She has a hard time believing he could want to open his heart to the possibility of another child after everything he’s lost. Infants are susceptible to all manner of tragedies, not to mention the high-risk lifestyle she and Nate both lead to complicate things. Whether she wants the kid or not doesn’t matter, because it would be irresponsible to even consider the idea, and cruel to throw such a heavy emotional burden on Nate out of the blue.
But when he finds out, Nate’s… ecstatic, actually. He would never have asked her for it; trying to plan it would have scared him to death. And it’s still scary. Terrifying. But he loved being a dad. And having the chance at a baby practically dropped in their laps feels like nothing short of a blessing to him. Piper has to be honest, she does want this, in spite of the risks. His confidence in the possibility gives her courage. So they go into it together, committed, their love for each other stronger than their fear for anything else.
[Nate actually goes MIA (and is presumed dead by the Railroad/Minutemen) about halfway to term for Piper, which spurs a very fierce pregnant reporter to go tramping across the Commonwealth and drag her wounded lover home, because hell if she’s going to raise their child alone, and you, jumpsuit-wearing-dumbass, are not allowed to die thanksverymuch. But that’s,, another story]
Aside from that it’s a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy. Except that in the postapocalypic world, some things, like diagnosing twins, are a bit harder to do and so you don’t find out about them until the delivery. Yes. Twins. And yes. When he heard the news, Nate, who insisted on being present when Piper went into labor, fainted. Fell right onto the floor. He comes back around with a lump the size of a mirelurk egg on his forehead and two healthy baby girls to meet. 
They name one Glory, after their friend who fought so hard to free her people. The other they name Adlevia, after Nate’s mother. ( There is some Nate & Glory art here too c: ) I alsooo have a bunch of really rough sketches of the fam that I hope to finish someday xD
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Originally I’d planned on them not having kids. And then for a while I entertained the idea of a late-term miscarriage and a helluva lot of heartache. But the truth is I just… really like the idea of them getting to be a family. And having a happy ending. They are my safe place and they both deserve goodness :c Plus it warms me to think that the life Nate lost before the war, what he hoped and dreamed of building with Nora - he gets a second chance at with Piper. Doubly so! xD
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