#which is true because she has proof of it but i have genuinely no memory it’s just not there for me

[vigilantejustice]

incomprehensible goop under the cut

there’s this real weird time circa 2007 that exists in this black hole of a void in my mind in that it doesn’t exist as a solid tangible confirmable memory but does exist insofar as that there’s this deep understanding that something did happen. there’s probably a protective or safety mechanic in play in not remembering but boy it would clear some things up

[patron-saints]

on morality & madeleine: interview with the vampire meta (written after s2e6)

so far, i’ve found that trying to process my thoughts on madeleine feels really difficult when everyone online has their own opinions and their own biases. this post is kind of my attempt to sort out how i feel about her, and to refute and explore some arguments i’ve seen pop up in her tag.

i think the people who are pointing out that first and foremost these are fictional characters have it right: they’re not real people, their relative morality is only relevant as it pertains to the story itself. and in a story like interview with the vampire, your baseline is that every main character is a killer. in terms of morality, evaluating whether or not a character is a good person is pretty useless and also just… isn’t the point of the story. all characters are functions of a narrative, all characters are tools that you use to tell a story. their morality should not be judged in the same way as you would a real person’s! now. all that being said, let’s have some fun judging* madeleine anyway!

*doing some of my own biased character analysis on

what we know comes to us from a few sources: claudia’s diary, which daniel can read, (decent primary source, but filtered with her biases), louis’s recollection of madeleine’s memories (secondary source that relies on both of their ability to remember clearly) and presumably, louis and armand’s recollections of their interactions as well, which isn’t a whole lot to begin with.

part 1: the nazi fucking

when madeleine talks about sleeping with a nazi to claudia, she’s extremely casual about it. while she notes he brought her food, and cigarettes, she says in a way that invokes a courtship ritual, rather than a direct bribe. it’s impossible to divorce this from the context though: her neighbors are starving, and she was brought food. it likely was a bribe, but what’s important is that she doesn’t relay it as one. her focus when she starts talking about him is on the connection: “it was the comfort, the proof of life,” as she says. if she had been coerced, or if she felt like she had no choice in the matter, i think she would have presented it a little differently. but her affection for the guy is clear, and she even mocks him a little to claudia. in her own words, “i wasn’t inviting hitler to stay in france, i was inviting a frightened boy to cradle my tits.” 

which. let’s be real here: to claudia, she is downplaying it. she slept with an occupying soldier during an occupation. watching this scene for the first time, you could even reasonably assume she doesn’t get how serious that is. but once you see the degree of punishment she faced, and continues to face for her actions, you realize her framing here is a learned defense against genuine violence. she feels she has to downplay it to herself and to claudia because there is an imbalance here. it becomes harder to admit to your wrongdoings when the punishments you face for them feel wildly disproportionate.

madeleine did something she never should have done, something she doesn’t feel remorse for, but something that she’s being punished for in a way that far exceeds what any person deserves.

when she talks about it to armand, her framing changes again. she calls it a love, still, so the affection is still present, but she places a greater emphasis on doing what it takes to survive, implying more so that sleeping with a nazi was an act of self-preservation. regardless of whether this is more true than how she presents things to claudia, she has a motivation here too.

when she shares her experiences with claudia, she’s flirting, trying to make her laugh, trying to make a connection, and this part might be subconsciously, but she is certainly trying to get claudia to like her. when she talks to armand, however, she’s actively trying to convince him to grant her the dark gift. she has to portray herself as capable, as self-sufficient, and discerning, and it works! even though he denies her based on his own biases, armand is visibly impressed by all of madeleine’s answers to his questions.

and all we get from louis was that the experience was sweet. and let’s be real, it did look pretty sweet.

i don’t believe madeleine has any hatred for the boy she slept with. i don’t think there’s any evidence she has any hatred for jewish people either, or for her country, which her neighbors believe she betrayed. i think she chose to prioritize a moment of human connection (and possibly food) over the greater consequences of her actions.

i have been looking for the post again since i saw it, so if anyone sees it lmk! but! the op talked about the fact that madeleine as a collaborator isn’t changing her behavior in any meaningful way now: she watched claudia kill in front of her, and instead of running, she once again invited the danger in, joined up with it. i believe the post said something like: once a collaborator, always a collaborator.

this has really stuck with me and i really wish i could reference it properly.

cuz i think there is something there—i think madeleine’s self-preservation instinct is a little screwed on wrong, i think she is acting similarly with claudia as she did with the nazi, but i think it’s not just about the danger. portraying her choice to follow claudia as a cold moment of choosing survival takes away from her complexity, and from the veracity of her feelings for claudia. so, not just the danger. i think it’s about the connection again.

the connection she has with claudia is real, the love she has for claudia is incredibly real. but madeleine is once again prioritizing an interpersonal connection over anything else, and that is the pattern she’s repeating here.

part 2: the apparent age gap issues

every single person who says their relationship is problematic because claudia is a child owes me and claudia fifty bucks.

i don’t really even want to get into that because i don’t think it’s worth my time. the show has put a lot of effort into demonstrating that claudia is an adult trapped in the body of a teenager, and that experience is hard enough on her without all you people insisting she’s still a kid anyway.

however, there’s a secondary argument i’ve seen which i do want to address, which is madeleine’s perception of her.

in their first meeting in the shop, it’s clear that madeleine is seeing claudia as a teenager. she calls her one directly, and references her “body about to bloom” when they meet again two years later. however, when they do meet two years later, claudia has not grown. we know madeleine has noticed this by the dress fitting scene for certain, but it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume she noticed that sooner. additionally, in the same breath, madeleine also references claudia’s “mind of a sophisticate.” by the time claudia tells her that her growth was stunted due to the war, it’s extremely likely that madeleine had already reached a similar conclusion. she doesn’t look surprised at all when claudia says it, and it’s because claudia seems like an adult. even if she doesn’t look like one, she carries herself like one, she makes conversation like one, and it’s very easy for madeleine to accept the reality that she is one, because she may have suspected as much already. 

the reason i say all of this is because i’ve seen multiple people saying it’s inappropriate for her to flirt with claudia before she knows she’s an adult.

is their interaction at the shop window flirting? are they flirting outside the theatre, just after the play? both of these scenes are before claudia says her growth was stunted. i think it’s impossible to say they were definitively flirtatious, but i will certainly say there was a vibe. and i think that’s… kind of fine actually ? two people can have chemistry and it doesn’t have to mean anything about them morally. and my coworker andy said it would have been weirder if they had no chemistry and then did suddenly after madeleine realizes she’s an adult, which made me laugh, and which i think is correct. i like the way they get along before the dress fitting, i think those scenes are fun, and the ambiguity of the flavor adds to it.

i did see at least one post that said it was inappropriate for madeleine to talk about sex frankly with claudia if she thinks she’s a teenager, and to that i say. you can talk to teens about sex. even if she didn’t suspect claudia was older, it’s still fine. they are friends, and she’s sharing an experience she had because claudia asked her about it. 

additionally, it’s both a very contemporary & a very american idea that People Under 18 need to be kept from conversations about sex. frankness about sexuality is in fact, very french lol.  

i did originally think that this was after the conversation about claudia not growing, but i just watched the scene again to be sure and it was, in fact, also before, but i think my point stands. 

i don’t know for certain if she intended to come across as flirtatious in these scenes, but i know something clicked for her right around her confession. you can see it, when they lock eyes in the mirror, that whatever the vibe is, they’ve both clocked it. and she finds out claudia’s older than she looks only seconds later, because she’s the one pointing out that claudia hasn’t grown. (but, yes, i’ll add anyway: after claudia says her growth was stunted, and after that moment of connection, madeleine’s expressions do seem a lot more… Interested too, lol). 

i understand and i empathize so much with people’s criticisms of madeleine’s past. i have no intention to exonerate her in that regard (other than her previously mentioned narrative tool status) but i will jump to her defense when it comes to her relationship with claudia.

madeleine sees claudia as an adult, because claudia is an adult.

if they weren’t vampires, and if they weren’t queer in the 1940s, maybe she’d be worried about how others saw their relationship. or maybe it would be weird if she didn’t care how it looked. but given that the only people who will know they’re romantically together are other vampires, i don’t see her lack of concern for the optics being that much of an issue either.

and the reason she’s not concerned is because she knows what claudia is to her. which brings us to:

part 3: the sister stuff

once again i think the show does a pretty good job of refuting this one on its own, but i’d like to get all my arguments in the same place.

so. i see “don’t worry about the blood, it’s the blood that made you,” getting thrown around a lot as proof that madeleine is replacing claudia as her sister.

why would they have a scene that directly refutes this if they were true? when louis asks if that’s what’s going on, claudia says they already “had it out,” and madeleine clarifies that claudia is nothing like her sister, and cannot be a replacement.

“don’t worry about the blood, it’s the blood that made you,” is something that madeleine says because she loves claudia, because she loves the person and the vampire that she is. because she wants claudia to know that her past does not define her. because she wants her to know she doesn’t feel tainted by it, and that claudia doesn’t have to either.

and yeah, it’s not that there’s zero incestuous tones to it! or to the whole arrangement, certainly. but i think any that are there pretty neatly fall under the “iwtv typical wire crossings” flavor rather than the “you’re my dead sister’s replacement” flavor.

so, yeah. despite saying fictional character morality doesn’t matter, i’ve just written several paragraphs trying to figure out if madeleine is a good person or not. really, though, that’s not the question iwtv wants us to ask, or the question i really want to ask its viewers either. is madeleine a good person? eh, probably not. is madeleine a good person for claudia? absolutely.

on this, iwtv is extremely clear. madeleine is an ideal partner. she’s not scared, she’s not surrounded by friends and family she’d grieve, she’s weirdly suited to vampirism, and she loves claudia so much. they share a morbid sense of humor, they’re comfortable teasing each other, they communicate in an extremely healthy way, and every single step of their relationship is based on consent.

the entire time i was watching her scene with armand, i just kept whispering, “oh my god, she’s perfect.” she nailed absolutely every question because she’s perfect for what she’s supposed to do as character, as a function of the narrative she is a part of. madeleine is perfect because she is perfect for claudia.

[bigskydreaming]

IWTV season finale (or more accurately the second half of it, from the end of the interview onward) has me positively vibrating with the implications (or at least my interpretation). Midway through the first actual meta I feel like I've written in years lol, but I've always felt like the series' meta narrative was ABOUT the power of narratives and all the ways they can distort the truth, make myths out of past events, turn fact into fiction and reframe and recontextualize things in all manner of ways......

From the editing of Claudia's diaries to Armand's memory manipulations to Louis' unreliable narration to the very format of Daniel's interview to the story Armand tells about Claudia's fate and how that shapes the story of Louis' life with him and on and on and on.....its a hugely sprawling, intricate web whose sole common thread is the reality that everyone's history is only history to THEM....to everyone else, its a story told to them....either BY them, or by someone else ABOUT them, or in some other way rendered mutable by the power of secondhand narration and all the ways intentional and even subconscious biases can reshape it.

I mean, even the facet of this in which Daniel's book IS as factual as possible, and is taken as such by vampires, but to humanity it reads as fiction because they view vampires as inherently fictional, and how this thematically ties back into how easily the lines between fact and fiction can be blurred merely by virtue of what you're willing to ACCEPT as true and capable of existing, vs what you WANT to be true and capable of existing, and what you'll go to any lengths to deny ever COULD be true or capable of existing.....

The paralleling of all this with the beginning of the season starting with Louis and Claudia's quest to find other vampires, whom they weren't even sure existed, and how much Claudia WANTED it to be true that there were others like them, and how quickly the very thing she searched for turned into the very thing she wanted to get away from when the reality of those other vampires turned out to be different from what she'd hoped for....

How much of what Armand said and did was built upon the foundation of knowing it played into what Louis would PREFER to believe had really happened, because the reality of who ACTUALLY saved him would by its very nature challenge certain things he'd long accepted and internalized as fact in order to make his peace with how things went between him and Lestat, ie the idea that Lestat was inherently monstrous, just look at the proof that lay in the monstrous things he'd done, ergo he was predisposed TO assume that it must have been Armand who saved him, because Lestat just wasn't capable of that, would never even WANT to, and the simple truth that regardless, he DID, subsequently required reconciling that with his fundamental perception and understanding of Lestat as of that point in time, and the fact that Armand's house of cards was in reality so, so FLIMSY, and vulnerable to toppling with just the right push but it still lasted for 77 years because it had been built upon the foundation of Armand's awareness of just how badly Louis NEEDED reality to be that simple:

Armand loved him and was there begging for his forgiveness for his part in things, ergo, of course Armand would have saved him when he had the chance.....vs Lestat had never loved him and would never in a million years genuinely apologize for anything he'd done or even admit he was wrong, let alone forgive Louis and Claudia for what they'd done to him, ergo, of course Lestat would never have saved him even if he had the chance.....

Like it really was that simple, that flimsy, and yet that enduring, Armand kept the lie going for almost 80 YEARS because he was confident about having built his narrative on the bedrock of what Louis believed to be true of Lestat, what he accepted as immutable FACT....

I REALLY want to rewatch some earlier episodes at some point, specifically Season One eps involving Claudia's diaries and stuff about Lestat, because I'm very curious how that comes across in hindsight - a lot of people have pointed out how little we really know of what Lestat actually thought of Claudia, and I'm curious now how much of Armand's editing and reframing of things made it a priority to emphasize the take that Lestat had nothing but contempt for Claudia.....like what I mean by that specifically - because none of this of course is meant to excuse or defend anything Lestat has done to either Louis or Claudia in the past, of course - what I mean there is Louis, even at the points where he's MOST prone to viewing Lestat in terms of extreme binaries, still has always been aware that he has complicated feelings about Lestat and that his love for him and his desire to believe that at least some of what he'd perceived as Lestat loving him had in fact been real....

Like, when it comes to him and Lestat, Louis KNOWS that he's an unreliable narrator, that he's never going to be 100% capable of having an objective view of how he truly feels about Lestat and how Lestat feels about him. Which could've made Armand's lies a lot more fragile, if there was even a chance Louis might even just in passing wonder "what IF Lestat had been the one to want to save me that night" and from there potentially sparking upon the possibility that wait....AM I sure he didn't......

BUT. For a variety of reasons, not the least of which are Louis' protectiveness towards Claudia, guilt about anything she suffered as a vampire due to having been the one to beg she be made one in the first place, and seeing Claudia as HIS responsibility......Louis' view of Lestat's treatment of Claudia has always been a lot less forgiving than his view of Lestat's treatment of him. The very things that make him WANT to give Lestat the benefit of the doubt in some cases when it comes to their own interactions, because he wants to believe that Lestat did in fact genuinely care about him.....go hand in hand with the unlikelihood of him giving Lestat the benefit of the doubt when it came to how he felt about Claudia, as interpreted by Louis based on Lestat's interactions with her....

AND Claudia's journals....and what she had to say - and believed - about Lestat's view of her. At various points, Louis has been as prone to outright REJECTING the possibility of Claudia being an unreliable narrator as he is to accepting that his own recollections and perceptions are unreliable....because he enshrined her and put her on a kind of pedestal in an effort to keep her memory at a distance from him, where it hurt less, felt more like something told to him in a story rather than the visceral pain of losing someone he loved like a daughter. You could call Louis a liar, because it was no worse than what he'd accused himself of. Call Claudia a liar, and you wake the revenant of all Louis' most primal, savage (and ultimately failed) efforts to protect her from harm, still haunting the few things left of her like the ghost of Louis' paternal instincts and love, cursed to linger around any mention of her because it would forever have the unfinished business of needing to protect her, even now, long after it was no longer even a possibility.

Point being, I'm wondering now how much Armand leaned into THAT, to shore up the weak spots in his story......how much the potentially (and likely) far more murky, messy, and complicated truth of Claudia and Lestat's view of and feelings about each other got left on the editing room floor of their actual history so that Armand's director's cut of the past could condense all of that into the far more simple - and polarizing - idea that Claudia hated Lestat and Lestat hated Claudia, and no matter HOW complicated and uncertain things might be when it came to the truth of Louis and Lestat's history and feelings....on THIS count, there was no doubt....Lestat would never lift a finger to help Claudia, never have a kind word to say about her, had nothing but apathy with an occasional detour into contempt when it came to her.....

And thus, Armand whispered into Louis' ear for seventy seven years worth of nights spent haunted by her memory and his guilt and belief he should have done better by her - if Louis could be certain of nothing else in this life, its that Lestat would never be on Louis' side if it meant being on Claudia's too, and for that reason alone, he couldn't POSSIBLY have been the one to save Louis that night.

It had to be Armand. Nobody else had ever understood how Louis felt about Claudia. Nobody else had ever cared that Louis had loved her so much and missed her so badly. Nobody else ever WOULD.

And so the house of cards remained standing, because fragile as it was, Louis never saw a need to push at the card at the very bottom.

Until of course, a gust of hot air named Daniel came in and huffed and puffed and blew the whole thing down.

(Largely, imo, because of the power and importance of stories, rather than the actuality of their actual interactions and things Armand had physically done to piss Daniel off and make him hold a grudge, lol. Personally, I feel like Daniel - who prides himself on his ability to see the truth, report the truth, TELL the truth rather than, y'know - "stories" - who is so vehement about his role as a truth teller rather than a story teller that he will not let a single instance of someone calling his book a novel instead of a memoir go unchallenged, someone for whom the distinction between truth and fiction is a line he's staked so much of his life's work and subsumed his very identity in - its not any one THING that happened when Daniel first met them decades ago that really pissed him off, I'd argue.....its the mere knowledge of Armand messing with his mind, muddying his memories, making it IMPOSSIBLE for Daniel to ever fully trust the truth of his own personal history....THAT was the unforgivable crime that fueled Daniel's spite and was like okay, so for Today's To Do List, I'll be wrecking your marriage, your past 80 years worth of machinations, your reputation and just overall blowing up your life in every conceivable way. RIP to this little house of cards you built here, its adorable. I brought a battering ram.)

Anyway. I'm just saying. I think the role OF narratives and their importance and power WITHIN the overall narrative of the show is one of its most fascinating aspects, and is what has me so amped for Louis' arc next season to see if they go in the direction I'm hoping they do based on his final scene, which I interpreted not even so much as Louis throwing down the gauntlet to the rest of vampirekind and saying I'm not scared of you.....so much as Louis recentering himself in his own identity, his own perception of himself rather than Louis-as-depicted-in-the-stories-of-his-loved-ones-lives, and emerging from the wreckage of the house of cards he'd spent the last 80 years living in, with a reignited desire to CHOOSE life, rather than just drift through it eternally like an immortal record of the past with no real desire to partake in the present....

And thus, having every intention of surviving whatever comes next, due to vampirekind's shared focus and aggression towards him. He's not looking to just go down swinging, IMO, the Louis of the final scene took his time getting there. He was deliberate, methodical. He took his time between kicking Armand out of the tower and returning to it and telling the collective children of the night to come at me, bro. He retraced his steps and revisited New Orleans with intent, took in a tour guide turning past events into a mythic tale with a smirk that cast no judgment on how true or not the tour guide's version was, but rather felt instead like he was enjoying the shared joke of how easily something-that-was ended up spun into something-so-much-more-folkloric-than-it-actually-had-been. He repaired his tower and redecorated his personal place of power with actual mementos of someone he loved where once there'd just been the memory of her lying over everything like a funereal shroud, heavy and haunting and unspoken and thus impossible to ever take comfort in or make peace with. He stood there for who knows how long, through who knows how many nights, and just listened to his many would-be-enemies announce themselves and their intentions towards him, all the things they planned to do to him, and then and ONLY then, he picked his moment, took a seat, settled in......

And began to tell a story.

He didn't throw caution to the wind, double down, say fuck it, if I'm going out it'll be on my terms.....IMO, the Louis of the final scene, with the same predatory glint in his eye and devil-may-care smirk he's worn in past scenes where he's given himself permission to be the monster, if he felt the moment called for it, just was past caring, or saw it as necessary to make it through the night....

This is a Louis who doesn't give a shit about any blaze of glory, this man came to win. He chose life over death once upon a time, hell, he chose life IN death, and then he did it again and again even throughout the times when he got lost and weighed down in the inevitable tragedies of life and couldn't make the most of the equally inevitable triumphs along the way.....and I feel like he's finally at a point where he's ready to make that MEAN something. On HIS terms.

There's not going to be another book with Daniel, not about him, anyway. Let Lestat have the next one. If there's a story to be told about Louis now, it won't be told in someone else's book, in Claudia's journals, in Armand's half-truths or even Lestat's regrets.

The only one telling Louis' story from here on out is Louis. And he's going to decide what it says. I feel like this is (or at least COULD be) a Louis who is preparing for a war he has every intention of winning, and he took his time and considered his options before choosing his field of battle. He armed himself with a very specific weapon for very specific reasons. The final scene is Louis issuing a challenge, yes. But its also Louis turning his enemies into his audience, and saying.....let me tell you a story.

This is the story of The Vampire Louis De Pointe Du Lac, he intones, introducing himself with pageantry picked up from those he's met along the way in his journey these past two seasons, but given his own flourishes, said in his own voice. No mere mortal, or even mere immortal....no. This is the story of the Vampire Who Yes, Just As You Accused, DID upheave your whole world by spilling your secrets to the rest of it, who yes, DID break so many of your laws, just like he has in the past and chronicled in said book as though he genuinely gives not a single fuck. Let it be known. Let it all be known! Let his personal sanctum, that private place of power most vampires and covens are zealous about keeping hidden because of how vulnerable even the most powerful of them are when stuck in their coffins at noon, be known. Let his security measures be known. Let everything they could possibly need to enact their judgment, vengeance, fury, and just overall bloodlust upon him....be known.

Because the Vampire Louis De Pointe Du Lac....owns the night, he says.

He tells them a story, that tells them everything but also tells them they know nothing, and turns everything they know about him, think they know about him, every secret or vulnerability offered up in Daniel's book, everything that could be gleaned by any of them going to Armand or Lestat or anyone else for intel on him......into irrelevant details.

Because his story he told - to an audience of jaded immortals, masters of manipulation, mind games, and the various machinations that colored so much of Louis' history with both Armand and Lestat, because they learned them from each other, learned from the same people, taught others, and on and on and on.....the story he told to an entire world of schemers, many of whom have centuries more practice than him in the art of turning fact into fiction, distorting reality into fantasy and making themselves into mythical monsters instead of just people who do monstrous things, just now with Added Years and Also Strong Branding.....

Well, the funny part about it, the thing he could be busting a gut laughing about on the inside.....

Is the story he told is not actually a story. It was fact. Truth. One hundred percent verifiable truth.....just....presented as a story.

And thus, to the practiced and cynical eyes of immortal master storytellers slash liars slash strong believers that all vampires are as prone to truth-twisting as them.....

For everything his "story" told them, the attached implication is there MUST be more he's not telling them. No vampire offers all that up, waves a red flag like that, declares war on untold legions of immortals more powerful, more experienced, more monstrous than him.....

Unless there's something he's NOT saying. Some trick. Some scheme. Some sword of Damocles hanging just out of sight over head, waiting for the first challenger foolish enough to take at face value this relatively young upstart (who nevertheless has survived over a century in the company of some of the most dangerous and unpredictable vampires out there - always a bundle of contradictions, our Louis).....and as much as they ALL agree this heretic must burn for what he did, for what he dares, laying claim to the night like that, like he has any RIGHT, let alone some greater right than THEM....

Well. SOMEONE has to take the first swing, don't they? And suddenly.....they're probably not all that eager to BE that first contender, the first to take a run down the straight shot Louis has invited them to take right to his front door and down the hall to where he can be found sleeping in his coffin incapable of defending himself.....

Because, well. There HAS to be some trick, doesn't there?

And there is, of course. The trick is that there is no trick. The lie is that the truth isn't a lie, its the actual truth. Its a simple, basic, and perilously flimsy house of cards Louis has erected around his tower as his ACTUAL fortification, but if this is his game, he's got reason to be pretty confident in it buying him a fair amount of time and allowing him plenty of maneuvering room while he engineers more of the situation to his advantage.

After all.....nobody knows better than Louis how effective something like this can be.

Its quite literally the exact same sleight of fact and fiction that Armand used to keep him contentedly playing make believe for the past seventy seven years. The more you ground a fiction in lies someone is already telling themselves or is all too willing to believe - because it falls naturally into place alongside similar-seeming and deeply-rooted beliefs - the less you actually have to LIE. The less you actually even have to do at ALL, because they're already inclined to fill in the blank spaces with their own correlating assumptions and just keep going and going from there. The fiction writes itself, because you've just given them the prompt and invited them to use their own history as a map for what makes most sense to come next.

And why wouldn't they? Vampires are natural storytellers, after all. How else does a factual species continually convince the world around them that they're really just fiction?

Armand's lie worked as long as it did because it was never a gamble at all. He knew it would work - at least for a time - because it always works. Vampires do this constantly. We've seen it time and again. They pull this gambit on each other, they pull it on themselves, they turn their own histories into stories that make them feel better whenever they peer into the past because perception is reality and if you have literal mind powers that let you alter perceptions at will its not exactly a hop skip and a jump from there to the belief that you can render reality similarly mutable.

Life is beautiful and great and wonderful and also hard and cruel and painful. And the unfortunate truth for many of us is the memories that hurt tend to have more weight than the memories that lift us up. They have an easier time sticking around, accumulating their weight, making the accumulation of decades and centuries more of a curse than a blessing unless you find some way to relieve the pressure, shed those burdens regularly. Or just get really good at telling yourself that weight, those hurts, they just aren't there. Because the things that caused them never happened. Because your immortal life has been wonderful and grand and anyone who challenges that is probably a liar who is invited to defenestrate themselves at the next available opportunity.

Armand wasn't shocked that a few pokes at his house of cards could collapse the whole web of lies. He was shocked that someone poked at it at all. He's five hundred years old. That shit just doesn't happen. That's not what they DO. Vampires only GET through as many centuries of bloody, brutals acts by LYING to themselves about those acts not being bloody or brutal or that they were done by someone else entirely, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT, what kind of fucking BARBARIAN goes around poking at other peoples' houses of lies to see if they'll collapse when like, no shit, its OBVIOUS that it would collapse, because duh, its made of CARDBOARD, nobody is out here in Vampirelandia arguing that these things are sturdily constructed, but its not like its a problem as long as you just dont POKE at it and like, who even does that? Its RUDE!

*Enter Daniel, stage left, with jazz hands*

The older you get, the more memories you have, the more they all cram up against each other, the lines get blurred, the contents of each memory end up in each other's boxes, and when its that already that hard to tell which ones are still accurate anyway, its that much easier to just go with the stories and decide fiction's an acceptable substitute for fact any day.

Its not surprising it took a relatively young, spry and sassy septuagenarian to remind the two century plus lying liars who lie....that all of that may very well be true.....but that doesn't mean facts don't still matter. Truth doesn't still matter.

Any vampire could see the fragility of the ruse Louis' erecting here based on their own experiences doing the same thing. Most of them won't, because exposing the reality of his ruse requires an admittance of familiarity with it themselves. And that leads to acknowledging when and where they've deployed it in their own lives, with their own companions.....

And vampires, as we all know....rather famously don't spend a lot of time looking at themselves in a mirror.

The ten million Louis paid Daniel to tell his story was well worth it, and not just because it let him see what Armand had done. But because Louis already knew the power of a good story.....but Daniel reminded him that the truth has power too.

Its all in how you use it.

Related but tangential.....not gonna lie, a major inspiration for this take is just Louis fucking SMILING so much more in the last several scenes of the episode than in pretty much any of the present day scenes until now, at least in any kind of way that feels genuine and like he's actually engaged with what he's smiling at and dialed in. Like just....it feeling like being freed from the isolating house of fabrications he's spent the last several decades in has already led to him reconnecting with that fond curiosity he's had in the past, when not being alternately wallopped with Trauma and Tragedy hammers every other scene he's in. Him being able to look around and just take in stuff like "oh hey, that sparks joy. Neat. Forgot I had that emotion."

Like, I just really, REALLY like the scenes in the show (relatively few and scattered as they are) where we get.....playful Louis. The simple sincerity of just finding something amusing.....

Buuuuuut I also like when Louis is being a bitch and also when Daniel is being a bitch and I just think their being a bitch frequencies should be allowed to sync up more. As a treat. Just saying, this interpretation/take was 100% inspired by the thought of Louis finding the effectiveness of his ruse hilarious in an ironic kinda way, and being like, I wonder if Daniel thinks the joke is as funny as I do, since I think he's pretty much the only other person who'd get it without me explaining anything.

Daniel: Oh I absolutely do, except I just think its hilarious and not in an ironic way or anything, its just funny. Plus I enjoy that its at most vampires' expense, because at the risk of generalizing, literally every single vampire I've ever met has been a giant dick. So. There's that.

Louis: You do remember that you're a vampire too now, right?

Daniel: Well yeah. And I've met me, and I'm a giant dick. Where's the confusion here, Louis.

Anyway.

ALSO! The parallel of Daniel writing a fact-based memoir that exposes the truth about vampires to a world that refuses to believe it because it challenges the beliefs they already have about what is fact and what is fiction.....

And Louis armoring himself with truth told as a story to vampires that refuse to even look for the holes in that armor because to do so would risk applying fatal pressure to the fiction painted over the vulnerabilities in their own.....

.....mmmm. *chef's kiss*

So, yeah. I would love it if the above interpretation is where things go. Based on where they left Louis, I feel pretty confident I'll like wherever they take him next season regardless of how well it aligns with this take or not, but I mean. I'm egotistical enough that I'm like yeah, I would in fact like it if the show validated the two hours I just spent haphazardly rambling away in a post that started off with "So this isn't an actual meta but rather a post ABOUT a meta that I'm GOING to write but that is not actually this" and then turned into an obvious meta that didn't even have the fucking decency to be the meta that the post was initially about.

Look, I'm just saying. I would win so hard at being a vampire, I've already finished all the prerequisite courses.

Thus concludeth the rambles.

.....ugh fucking hell, just remembered that now I STILL have to write the actual meta that I was already planning to write before my brain decided hey what if instead of that we did a whole Russian nesting dolls thing that turned that meta into like, nine other metas that don't get you any closer to writing the thing that you originally set out to write hahaha this is fun, I'm fine, the show has absolutely not rewired my brain chemistry at all.

[darkfrog24]

Sleep No More: a review a reaction

I had to fucking process this one.

When I started the October Daye series, I found them a little bland. The friend who'd given me the first three books assured me, however, that they got better later. Not only was this true, but they get better on reread, when the reader can project the characters' emotional motivations onto their early actions. (Tybalt's first scene in Rosemary and Rue made a lot less sense before I knew his secret identity as the Man with No Game.) But a lot of what seemed to be attempted social commentary fell flat. "Don't discriminate against this specific type of supernatural being" doesn't work so well unless we have a parallel for who these people are supposed to be in the real world

In Sleep No More, October finds herself in an alternate version of her society in which changelings—part-humans—have a rigidly proscribed social role as "servants." I will leave the comparison to serfdom and slavery to others. McGuire does not shy away from the psychological side of a two-tiered society. The changelings are also there specifically so the purebloods have someone to feel superior to.

The memory-altered October considers herself one of the lucky ones. She has a stepfather and sister who genuinely love her and protect her from some of the worst indignities. This does not include interceding for her when another member of the family flat-out calls her worthless or reminds her that she can be discarded at any time. They act like talking to her that way is normal. When the world tells October that she is naturally inferior, that her betters are right to verbally and physically push her around, that any rebellion on her part is proof that she's defective, her relatives act like nothing's wrong. They encourage her to be submissive, not as a mask to prevent her from being punished by an unfair system but because they truly believe that's how things should be.

On top of that, we've seen that October, like Luna, is supposed to be an adult with her own household, responsibilities, and identity, and suddenly we see her shoved into a child's role, a hanger-on in someone else's house, with the expectation that she will spend her whole life that way.

At one point, October thinks to herself that if she were ever to leave her family, she'd be dead within a year.

And holy fucking pikachu shit, there might be a better metaphor for what it was like to grow up aneurotypical in the twentieth century, it's been driven out of my brain right now.

[chaosandcrimson]

no way is that KERIME SAKARYA.. they’re a 26-year-old HUMAN notoriously known for being CALCULATING & DECEPTIVE but there are some people who have seen them being CONVIVIAL & ORGANISED. if you ask me, they remind me a lot of a disembodied voice giving directions into an earpiece, always having back up plans for your back up plans, and following in the footsteps of your mother, but that could just be because they’re considered the KNOWLEDGE BROKER around town. just keep an eye on them & see if their true colors shine through..

She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some She had the envelope, where you think she got it from? Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife

OVERVIEW

Name: Kerime Azra Sakarya

Nickname(s): Keri

DOB: May 9, 2098

Age: 26

FC: Hande Erçel

Height: 5'9"

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation: Owner of Hole In The Firewall / Information Broker

Relationship Status: Single (Closed)

[+] easy-going, convivial, organised [–] calculating, deceptive, venal

BIOGRAPHY

tw: death

Kerime was born the second out of three children to parents whose lives were not at all what they seemed. Her family moved to the USA when she was still young and she does not remember much about her life before then.

Unlike their older brother, Aslan, they grew up into an ordinary teenager who lived a very ordinary life. Did they have an inkling that things in their family were not what they seemed? Sure. They wouldn't be nearly as smart as they thought they were if they didn't. But they also didn't really care to find out the truth.

One thing that was not ordinary about Kerime was her eidetic memory. Her ability to recall things perfectly without even having to try, combined with being generally bright, made school almost too easy for her. She did very well, but she was a nightmare for her teachers because not only did she not have to put any effort in, she could point out any time that they contradicted themselves.

As a result, they frequently got kicked out of class, were sent to the principal's office, and received detention. They approached it all with a smile on their face. They had never seen the point in taking anything too seriously.

During her senior year of high school, her best friend died in an accident while filming herself doing a crazy stunt. She had been warned that it was dangerous but had still acted recklessly. It served as a painful wake up call for Kerime that there were some things in life that you did have to take seriously.

They joined their brother in Dallas-Fort Worth after graduating from high school. Unlike in the past, they decided not to play ignorant, arriving armed with a number of arguments as to why they would be a valuable asset to his business.

She started by helping with intel gathering and serving as a form of mission control when he was out on a job. Over time, as she grew more confident in her skills and developed her own connections, she started expanding her side of the business—branching out into money laundering and information brokering.

They gained a reputation for being the person that you go to when you want information on someone because they seem to know at least something about everyone. To quote Burn Notice: "Whether you're a coke dealer, a thief, an arms dealer, or a spy, you need someone to clean your money, which makes a good money launderer the closest thing you can get to a Yellow Pages for criminals."

Eventually, she opened Hole in the Firewall. It serves as a front for her other businesses, but she does genuinely care about her patrons there, as well as her staff. She is not in the Skyport Mafia, but she has clients among their ranks and pays a protection tax to them in the form of services rendered.

In spite of their ties to the criminal underworld, they have a very lighthearted demeanour, are often quick to laugh, and still don't seem to take themselves too seriously. However, that doesn't mean that other people shouldn't take them seriously. They are dangerous and can flip on a dime when necessary.

MISC

She has a cybernetic enhancement that overlays a custom HUD over her field of vision. It can be connected to other devices, allowing her to extract and review information from them while going about her day-to-day business.

[featherlouise]

[cracks fingers] lets DO THIS!! and since this has a lot of punctuation and my anon mark will mess it up i'll preface this by saying this is indeed evil anon. ichor is the blood of the gods in greek myth so that what i use instead of blood for *poeticness*, and also my interp of gijinka pk would still have four arms so thats why he's described as such

----

The Pale King cannot breathe.

He's only felt like this once in recent memory, when the first husk was brought before Him and His court, and He'd recognised the burning light in it's eyes - undoubtedly, Her attempts at returning.

It's different now, yet exactly the same. He braces himself against a wall, trembling with ichor-loss and exhaustion and dread and pure *grief* as His vessel lets out a terrible, lurching scream from it's throat - no, their throat, they're alive, it must be true, She couldn't have taken them if they were alive - as their nail slides in and out of their chest, through carapace and chitin to the soft void-flesh underneath. Back in, back out, until the carpet underneath them is stained with their ichor.

And what's worse is that He can see Her infection briefly leave their eyes before they crumple to the floor.

After a few moments hesitation, He gingerly crept towards them, placing one of His hands on the wound while another supported their head and another their back. He cannot find it in Himself to speak, for He cannot even find the words. He could not say those simple placating mantras offered to wounded footsoldiers on the battlefield, the simple "You'll be alright" and "Everything will be fine" of the common dying bug, because in His heart He knows that it isn't true. His child - for that is what they were, His child, His baby, not just the bars of Her prison cell - was going to die in absolute agony, and it was His fault for not realising sooner.

But perhaps a small, desperate part of Himself had known all along. The fountain in Hallownest's Heart was proof. You do not create memorials for a tool, you do not erect statues in honour of an empty thing. You create them for a life, a living breathing being with thoughts and feelings and *hope* and-

A strange, hacking noise interrupts his tram of thought, and He realises it comes from the Vessel - is that really what He should be calling them now? - as they cough up a mixture of Void and Infection, night-black and orange dripping down their mouth and onto His robe. It streams from their eyes, too, Her cruel mockery of tears which He had never designed them to shed. Then, they begin to make a strange gurgling sound, and He looks at them in confusion for a few seconds before He realises they're choking on the foul mixture, too weak now to spit it out. Gently, He tips their head ever-so-slightly to the side, so the fluid can fall out with relative ease, and then back again.

And then it happens. The Vessel shakily removes His hand from their wound and onto the hilt of their discarded nail. Almost as if they were asking Him to.. no. He won't do it. He wouldn't dare, there may still be a chance, He *won't.*

The shaky, rattling breaths that they're still able to take begin to slow, and the King can only watch as it stops.

He sits there for a few seconds, staring blankly, before He begins to cry for what must be the first time in His life. The hall outside the door is suddenly rife with activity, before it opens and He is met with Hornet's shocked face. Then the Beast whisks her in her arms, burying Hornet's face in her neck so she doesn't see any more. Her face twists into an angry, accusing glare that not even He had witnessed before.

"What in the ever-loving *fuck* happened here, Wyrm?"

THE WAY I SCREAMED

I HAD to read this out loud and I'm genuinely crying holyyyy fucking shitttttt

I don't think I brought enough tissues imma be honest

[secondhand-lions]

looks @ u like this

using this as an excuse to talk about sirenity because they're easily one of my Guys Of All Time and iiiiii don't get to talk about them a whole lot

- is an excellent musician (virtuoso! but primarily anything with strings!) and artist! he also has synaesthesia (which, like their dyslexia, was less severe before The Benny Incident) and perfect pitch and they're an uncannily good mimic.

- fully knows and understands RobCo Termlink code and can, therefore, talk with the vast majority of robots/androids/computers in the wasteland

- there is not nearly enough time to go into their sex life. they've been around. very casual about sex and relationships to the point where it circles back around to become an intense soul-rending need for People and Connection and then it circles back around AGAIN to being very casual. two things can be true at once

- met and talked with benny -> "well. goddamn that's a lot to think about" -> met with House -> "even more to think about. shit." -> Courier Walking Instinct kicks in -> muscle memory takes them back to Primm -> Johnson Nash knows enough about them to recognize the Walk To Think state they're in, accepts that this is a short meeting -> Sirenity keeps going, still on muscle memory to the entrance to the Divide -> thats the thing that snaps them out of their sorta half-dissociative state -> "fuck i'm hungry" -> back to Primm for Ruby's casserole -> turns around, sees the ruined drive-in -> "y'know what? yeah. a movie sounds good right now." -> OWB (during which their mental state is surprisingly good! a creeping dread of familiarity at the sight of the painted old world flags and the descriptions of the other visitors, but yknow! that's fine! then they have a breakdown upon hearing Ulysses' voice again.)

- indeterminate amount of time and gameplay -> Dead Money -> stick around in the mojave for a bit before finally relenting and admitting that they have to back out and recover from the Cloud for a bit ("i have to go clear my lungs") -> Honest Hearts

- casual friendly situationship/QPR with Arcade, kinda a cool older cousin/sister figure to Veronica, good friends with Cass and Raul, visits Lily as much as they can. i'm not really sure of where they stand with Boone. they very badly want to tell him "i think you can be proud of the work you put into something without being proud of what the thing was or did or became" but like... Boone wants an ending, a neat little all-loose-ends-are-tied finish, and Sirenity is living proof that that sort of thing doesn't just Happen. they never were good at delivering endings, anyway.

- post-game otp is sirenity/ulysses but it's open because they both know that they can't always provide what the other needs/wants and love is more of a verb than a feeling anyway

- good friends with the Khans, Followers, and Kings!

- was genuinely really hoping that Benny would stick around after their conversation. not even mad about getting shot or jumped by his bodyguards.

- uhhhhmmmm OH YEAH Mobius was. such a refreshing presence for them. even if they do have to stand weird to keep eachother out of their blindspots. "crazy fuckers missing an eye who experience more visual inputs than should be there" solidarity. she helps with his messed up sensors :]

- honestly i think Sirenity's VERY very postgame jaunt to the Commonwealth is. just straight up in their canon now.

- scars from the Big Mt Spine Removal and Subsequent Un-Removal look like train tracks :) because i think it's cool

- whenever someone gets incredulous about how much stuff and people and places they know of or about or just straight up know their reply is "i have Lived a Life"

- that post about aragorn son of arathorn being sad(lonely) BECAUSE he knows so many people, not despite knowing so many people or knowing so many people despite being sad(lonely)? yeah that applies here. always missing someone. pulls them in so many different directions and yet! and yet! they wander down a new path. courier walking instinct.

- oh yeah they definitely have something set up so the Followers can use the resources of Big MT. that's probably their most regular delivery

- ANOTHER THING! pre-benny incident, the NCR had put a bounty on one of the Khans (haven't thought of a specific person) and Sirenity just. took the wanted poster and moseyed on over to their camp to warn them ("you...? why would you do this?" - "well, if someone i cared about had a hit put out on them, i'd sure as shit want to know about it") and that's how they meet Jessup and McMurphy

- and then DURING the Benny Incident, during the "maybe the Khans don't look the people they kill in the eye-" line, Sirenity shoots Jessup a Look that says "you work with this guy???"

- needless to say they were. very blasé about mortal danger. still is. if there's a multi-perspective story they're really going to try and find the other perspective(s)

yayyyyy okay i think that's it!

Nobody including me posts about their ocs enough so please please please reblog reply or whatever with some oc tidbits!

[tamlindudley]

Is Dain’s memory reading a passive skill? Is it just on 24/7 or can he turn it off at will? ‘Cuz I know Xaden’s is manual but there doesn’t seem to be any indicator for Dain.

I think it’s harsh to assume that it just happens on its own when clearly everyone are working with their signets to control and utilize it as they need and make it their strength than weakness. And we are aware Dain is one of the best riders, I think he would have figured out by now how to navigate his signet.

But mistakes happen, and I remember Dain saying specifically that it was only a flash of memory which he could have accidentally seen, but the info was not something his law abiding ass thought was a good idea to keep to himself. There was also that scene where he demanded to see Vi’s memory and she later tells him he didn’t ask her first and he was genuinely upset realizing that he hadn’t asked. I also think if he’s just reading all the time, he’d have realized when they kissed that Vi wasn’t into it but he didn’t.

(Of course, if it turns out he just reads ppl all the time, I’ll barf and move on from this lol but this is my current take.)

Besides, we see Dain from Vi’s (or Xaden’s) very biased pov and I truly believe homegirl is exaggerating his intentions, especially in Iron Flame. She’s well within her rights to be wary of course, but just because Vi says something about him doesn’t make it true unless there’s proof.

Him stalling with Vi when she was hurt definitely had to do with Nora being there, and him joining the revolution later definitely has to do with the fact that he clearly realizes his power was misused by his father to hurt other cadets, not just Violet. He’s the one navigating the rights and wrongs, and learning and unlearning everything and it’s gonna take some time. I wish Rebecca put more effort into showcasing his development because these characters who are stuck between two sides of war can be the most interesting when done right.

Fucks Xaden’s pov chapters, I want the actually morally grey pov. I want Dain’s pov.

[happyselves]

Pacify Him { Daniel Ricciardo x reader } /// WARNING EXPLICIT ///

Chapter : One shot Rating : Mature / Explicit / NSFW Words : 3,622 words

“Pacify her, she is getting on my nerves, hold your bitch before I push her away. You’re free to bring anyone here as long as they are behaving, but her … I don’t judge the person you are seeing, obviously I could give two shits about it but please tell her to calm herself down … This isn’t professional.”

You were fuming as you entered Daniel’s driver room,as his PR assistante you never interfere in his frequentation, but when it was impacting the reputation of the team and bugging people visiting the motorhome you had to step him. You calm yourself after a few breaths, stepping aside from Daniel a bit before looking at him again.

“ I didn’t mean to come that hard on you Daniel, but please you know how this is important right. You always ask for my honest opinion and there it is, I didn’t mean it for it to step out this hard on you but I can’t apologize for my words when I was thinking about them. She is toxic for you, she brings the bad in you when you are someone adorable usually. What is happening to you that you don’t trust me enough anymore to tell me when something is going wrong ? And before you are shushing me off, you know I am right, you and I are a package deal. “

He was defeated, not even looking at you, his whole body was shutting down and his legs were giving up on him. He takes the closest seat near him, almost falling and barely able to sit gracefully like he used to do.

“ I don’t know … I am so lost, I keep doing stuff wrong, I can’t find my soul anymore, I’m not very myself recently, I can’t even find my smile being genuine in the morning when I wake up in the morning. I’m putting a mask for people to see, but I’m like an empty shell. This bitch as you call her is only here to distract me and try to make me feel alive. She is nothing and it was a mistake to bring her… “

You were very concerned about Daniel’s attitude, it was the first time since you have known him that he worries about you right now. You were kneeling in front of him, trying your best not to invade his personal space. It’s something new for you, not invading it, you never ever thought he needed one but he looked so fragile, then you were under the impression that if you were touching him he would vanish into dust.

“ You are scaring me, what’s happening, is it the team ? Something personal ? You know you can tell me everything … “ A long silence got installed, your eyes were starting to water by all the pain you were seeing in him. You thought he wouldn’t open up, he was shutting you out by the way his body was curling up and turning to avoid your gaze on him. He was protecting himself like a kid that was terrified of a big stormy night.

You wanted to be the one to reassure one, but you were practically sure you were part of the problem. You stand quietly, ready to leave him alone in his driver room because there was nothing you could do if he wasn’t letting you.

His reaction was imminent, the driver inside of him was popping up and his muscles memories acting for him as it was his turn to get up and close the space between you, shutting the opened door. You yelped out of surprise before feeling his pressing body against you. You were stuck between the wooden door and his warm torso. Feeling his heretic heartbeat pounding in his chest. You couldn’t speak, you were too shocked for that. You and him were friends, close friends but not that physically close. You never cross that boundaries, but today was different, you felt it was.

The seconds looked like hours waiting for the confirmation of your assumption. Daniel seems to be as surprised as you to have acted the way he did, it was too late to back away now.

“ Don’t leave … don’t walk out that door “ His forehead was now resting on the back of your head, slightly not to hurt you and put weight on it. You wanted to ignore all the fuzzy feelings flooding in your whole body, but you couldn’t. Having him so close to you awakens a deep feeling hidden in you. “ The bitch will go away I promise, I am sorry “

Why was he apologizing to you, he didn’t disappoint anyone, yet. You weren’t even mad, you learn better to not judge someone's fucked up attitude when you could recognize the coping mechanics of someone keeping a secret and trying to turn the attention away from himself for nobody to catch the true meaning behind these actions. Does that make it acceptable ? It was each individual to have their own opinion. It was annoying you, that Daniel was suffering but preferred to distract himself and run away from his problem instead of talking to you or anyone else.

You close your eyes, your own forehead finds the cold surface of the door, his own head following yours not breaking the contact. HIs hands find the side of your hip.

“ The bitch isn’t the problem isn’t it ? “ You asked without any certainty he will give you a proper answer to that. His thumbs were caressing the skin of your hips through the tissues of your teamwear shirt, drawing a circle. You were sure he didn’t even notice he was doing it, his body was only responding to one mood and it was the auto-pilot one.

You were searching for breath and the driver’s room was starting to get tighter by the meanings, you were about to suffocate if the situation in which you both were wasn’t going to change fast enough.

“ You are the only one that can take away my pain … “ It could pass for a simple sentence if it wasn’t so Daniel, you had learned the code of conduct of Daniel Ricciardo and that … that was a declaration. “ It was you and I before, remember ? “

You were missing a piece of puzzle here, what was he talking about, is he drunk ? You never act differently around him, nothing changes, it never does. Yes it was him and you, always have been.

“ What are you talking about Daniel, you are confusing me “

“ Why did it change, the two of us … “ He was responding to your question by another one, like he was having his own conversation in his head, you were tempted to let him speak his mind to discover the bottom of the problem.

“ It didn’t change Daniel … “ You were trying as much as you could to put everything together, in vain.

“ It did change, I can’t look at you the same way as before … “ There it was, a little clue. If only he knew that it has been a long time since you have been able to look at him the way he used to when you meet him the first time. It was more than annoying you that he had brought someone with him for the weekend, more than it should. You were fuming when you saw the unknown name on the list of guests and asked someone to lighten it for you.

“ I know you are lying, why would you react the way you just did before if you weren’t “ You wanted to look at him, but his body was still pressing you against the cold wood. You had so much to say and him as well, all this unspoken tension you both tried to make yourself believe was a liar. You were both frauds, your friendship switched into something more months ago after a drunk night. Nothing happened that night, only looks were exchanged. The battle you both had as a joke at first turned into something way more deeper than you both were expecting and when you both tried to pull out of it, the damage had been done. That night was an epiphany moment for you, awaking the true desire between you. Your bodies couldn’t lie, the need for them to touch, the flaming sensation of his skin against yours like it was happening right now. Everything happened before and since that night, it never was the same thing for Daniel and everything went downhill.

You move your hand, posting on the door and Daniel understands the message and detaches himself from you. You slowly turn, god he was a mess and you bet you weren’t better.

“ You bewitched me that night, seduced me with your eyes. It was a game at first and now look at us, where is the game now ? “ He wasn’t accusing you of anything, it was a simple statement, an understanding between you. Two people were playing the game and two people ended up losing.

“ That wasn’t my intention, I tried to pull away, it was too late “ Who sounds defeated now, the tables have turned and he brings you down with him to the bottom of his misery. A couple bruises on your heart that he created was all you needed to have the proof that at least you two had shared a moment. It had to stay professional, but as his face was closing up the gap, all your convictions were being erased one by one.

You didn’t wait for him, you joined him in the middle, your lips connected quicker than he had anticipated, your eyes shut down in synchronisation. You didn’t who reacted first and kissed the other one back. That lip was perfect, far from it, it was messy just like him, but it was passionate. His teeth were teasing your bottom lips, asking permission to tear the flesh of it apart. You moaned when his tongue was inviting you to open your mouth. The taste of your two saliva was so intoxicated that you almost fell and he had to catch you with both of his arms, supporting you from your lower back. His smile came back to life against your mouth, letting out a childish giggle and you hit his arm to make him stop making fun of your lack of stability.

HIs reaction was quick, if you couldn’t stand up anymore he would use that door to help you. He pushes you toward it and your back gets lean on it, his arms unlocking themselves to explore your body, finding where they were before except this style the hem of your shirt came loose, letting the palm of his hand directly enter in contact with your skin, sending you shivers.

You had forgotten your environnement, too busy burying your own hands in his dark curls, bringing him closer as much as possible. Your teeth were still clenching and air was starting to lack in your lounge. You didn’t want to let go, scared for the reality to be brought back. You have been dreaming for months about this. Having the fantasy in your head when the night was setting and the moon shining.

DSaniel didn’t let you think for another second as he used this little moment of rest when you stop kissing him for a second, to lift you up, grabbing your ass, his palm firmly around it. He moves you and remembered to lock the door before turning back his focus on you as he finally break the kiss to look at you. Lust could be seen all over your two faces. His face was not showing any sadness anymore, only mischievousness and happiness. If you knew that all you needed to do to bring back the Daniel you knew was to let your own desire take over you, you would have done it sooner.

He took the direction of the massage table beside him, putting you on the edge before finding your neck and kissing the soft skin. You let a snort escape when his scruff tickles a sensitive spot behind your ear. He laughs against the skin and the vibration changes the snort into a whining complaint. He traveled all the way down to your clavicle but the fabric of your shirt was stopping him. He didn’t wait for your approval to remove it, the force of the removal making you lift your arm automatically. They fall back on his neck when he throws the piece of tissue somewhere you will have a hard time finding back.

That was extremely hot from him and by your legs starting to spread a little bit and the heat you were starting to feel between them, he noticed acknowledge the effect he had on you and smirk, visibly proud of himself. It was not the time to hide yourself even if you could feel embarrassed, this man in front of you was everything you had dreamt of and it had the talent to make you feel confident of your body, just by the way he looks at every detail of your body.

You were eager to let him take the situation under his control and only his, not doing anything and just being the prize he was working on to have for so long. All the torment, the torture and the conviction he will never have you, he deserved it. You will get your prize another time … it was only the beginning for you.

He was taking his time with you,no matter how much his desire was waking up, he had one mission and one mission only; your pleasure. You could see the forming bulge in his pants and felt for him, imagining how inconfortable it must be for him.

It all went to dust when his hands found their way under your bra cupping your breast and his lips traveled your chest as he was kissing his way down. He was leaving wet kisses and blowing air on it, goosebumps started to appear quickly, head being jolted back.

You wish you knew what to do with your hands but they were gripping the leather of the massage table so hard your knuckles were getting white by the second. He didn’t seem to care as his hands found your pants, he pushed you a bit behind, making unspeakable demands for you to lift your ass so he could slide the piece of clothes down for it to join your shirt somewhere in the room.

You could barely keep your eyes open as you witnessed the extremely hot scene in front of you. Daniel between your legs, keeping the same pace with you, kissing his way up toward the inner of your thighs. You sensed his teeth nibbling your skin, licking every spot afterward, like he was trying to heal the pain he just caused you. Little did he know that pain you were feeling was arousing you even more, your panty was starting to visibly licked your excitement. It was feeling like torture, you thougth that Daniel would be like the others partner you had, your skin would get used to the touch after a moment and the horniness would stop at a certain level, thinking you had reach the maximal of his possibility. How wrong were you when you were on the verge to cum without him actually pleasuring you in this area. You knew it was coming, Daniel kisses were more hungry, teasing the flesh of your thigh turning red by the bite and the kisses.

His lips were swallowing, getting bigger by the unusual exercise they were carrying on, his tongue would feel numb if it was for the desire he had to taste you, letting it survive for a couple minutes still. You watch him, leaving a kiss on the wet fabric of your underwear, your eyes were blurrying by the anticipation of him finally finding your clit. His teeth end up moving the piece of dentelle that was the last barrier between you and him.

It was like he was home and belonged there, here with you, right in this instance, it was you and him against the world. Forgetting your environnement you let a cry escape a little bit too loud as soon his thick tongue was licking arousal. You thought that seeing the start was a legend, a fantasy, but Daniel had made you become reality as your head was banged back, finding the cold wall, your neck was stretching so hard that the blood was lacking in your brain making you see some sparkling spot. He needed you to stay quiet and as he tried to put one of his hands on your mouth he ended up finding the neck instead, squeezing it enough for you to moan his name as he was continuing his exploration of your pussy.

Your hands finally leave the grip of the massage table to find their new place around Daniel's arm. You were stretched out in front of him, so vulnerable, just for him and you were unable to give a proper reaction to being buried in the pleasure he was giving you. His tongue was teasing your entrance, making it hardening, pushing himself in you as you will. The thumb of his free hand was moving in a slow circle around your clit. He didn’t know the dilemma you were encountering, keeping your eyes shut and your head back or fighting his firm hand on your neck for you to see him eating you alive. You sure had to make a decision quickly because you were soon to arrive at the edge before you will let the orgasm consume your whole body.

By the sound you were making, Daniel had the confirmation he was doing everything in the right way for you. He never experienced such joy to make someone lose their composure due to his actions. He was feeling proud that he was finding it out with you. Every woman he had been with didn’t sound or look as beautiful and real as you spread in front of him right now. He could spend hours tasting you, how good you were for him, how reactive and sensitive your skin was becoming after being torn apart by him. How the thought of fucking you with his tongue had haunt his dream for the past couples of month now, but the reality of this was surpassing all his expectations. He wanted to be rough with you, all the dirty thoughts came back rushing into his brain, overwhelming him and sending twitch to his dick. Rather than being dominant, it was all about showing you how much he had wanted you and how willing he was to give you anything you wanted, because you deserved it. You deserved for him to make you forget every man you had sex with. Replacing all the bad and good memories with his own. Changing all the faces in your dream, planting his own in the own DNA of your imagination.

He could feel that you were holding it together for it to last longer, even if that meant losing the self-control you had in you. Your wall was tightening around his fat tongue. You were completely losing your mind at the foreword of sensation throwing at you at the same time. You were sure it was too much for one person and you could care less about the verbal explosion you might have in a couple of seconds. Daniel however, foreseeing your release, put two fingers in your mouth holding your jaw from your mouth, your lips closed themself around them and your tongue was soon relaxing on them. You bite his knuckles when his tongue replaces his thumb in one flick of the tongue, finally letting cum. Your legs were shaking and Daniel had to hold you for you not to hurt yourself, your eyes were rolling back as your orgasm hit you in small waves, sending you jolts of electricity around your body. Your brain was shutting down, the stifled moan never reaching the exterior of your mouth, dying down on Daniel’s fingers in sensual vibration that made his bulge react, begging to be taken care of.

It tooks you minutes to come back to the open world, Daniel’s eyes not leaving you for a second, admiring his work. You slowly come back to reality and automatically search for him, missing his touch already. Your eyes were still not open when you found the collar of his shirt and pulled him rather violently, crashing your lips together, taking a taste of your own juice still lingering on his lips. You sigh in the kiss, reassured that what just happened wasn’t just a dream and that you were far needing to wake up from it.You rest your forehead on his, the wave of pleasure was still leaving some after effects on you including dizziness.

You had to clear your throat as you realised no sound was coming it out the first time you tried to speak.

“ That bitch needs to go, tell her you replace her with a more living version. “

You couldn’t help but laugh at your own words and Daniel was smiling at the way you just described yourself.

“ She’s already gone, she was already gone before you burst into my room.

You didn’t know how to respond to that, but one thing for sure is that you will have a hard time making people outside of this room say that nothing happened between the two of you. At least you would not pissed them off and you were able to pacify him at any time.

MASTERLIST

[our-happygirl500-fan]

You know the whole Baterang to the throat thing that causes a lot of discussion in the fandom? I think Bruce might not have been aiming for the throat

It ricochets

This point in comics Bruce has been through a ringer Steph's died, Barbara and Jim have left, Leslie betrayed him and he's had to send Cass and Tim away and now Jason is back but for revenge so Bruce isn’t at his best and I think Bruce threw the Baterang in a moment of panic and either over or undershot which ended up with well that.

This moment causes a lot of debate but I don't see it as “Bruce harming Jason to save the joker” the way a lot of fics paint it I see it more as he'd been aiming for Jason's arm or something to disarm him but overshot and it’s kind of like a symbolism of their relationship. 

 Which is basically Bruce takes an action to stop Jason from going down a path that he thinks will end up hurting Jason, but ends up hurting Jason in the long-run.

Like when he discussed taking away robin from Jason (because he thought Jason needed time to deal with issues that were becoming more prevalent) which only ended up making Jason feel insecure about his position in the Wayne household, contributing to why he so desperately pursued a stable parental relationship in his biological mother.

Bruce knows that if he gives in and kills the Joker he'll never stop killing we've seen timelines that prove that and I think Bruce also thinks the same of Jason that if Jason kills the Joker he won't stop at all so it’s not that he’s saving the Joker but that he’s trying to save Jason but Bruce ultimately misunderstands Jason’s needs and winds up hurting him.

Bruce is trying to save Jason from what he sees as a downwards spiral, but he ends up hurting him not just emotionally, but physically, and in the most extreme way possible. It's like an even darker echo of how trying to bench him as Robin led to his death.

Bruce has spent YEARS haunted by the memory of Jason’s death his death fundamentally changed Bruce's entire character Alfred said that Jason's death affected Bruce more than his own parents death.

In Underworld Unleashed it's revealed that his greatest desire is to have Jason back, in Hush he talks about how he wanted to put Jason in the Lazarus Pit and how he believes Jason knew he always loved him, and in As The Crow Flies we learn that his greatest fear is Jason coming back as an enemy and then in Under the Red Hood he gets Jason back (his greatest desire) but as an antagonist (his greatest fear) and moreover his belief that Jason 'knew' he loved him is WRONG.

Jason's insecurities from before his death combined with the perceived betrayal of Bruce not avenging him have led Jason to the point where he genuinely believes Bruce doesn't care, and in Jason's eyes, killing the joker is the only way Bruce can prove that he does but instead, in that moment, Bruce's attempt to diffuse the situation backfires.

Bruce misunderstands what Jason needs in that moment like he misunderstood what Jason needed at the start of Death in the Family it's just the ultimate representation of their constant emotional feedback loop. They trap themselves in a cycle of fighting because Jason can't read how Bruce really feels and Bruce can't read what Jason really needs and in that moment both those things are true, with Jason not seeing that Bruce truly cares anymore, and Bruce not knowing how to properly deescalate the situation and show Jason that he still cares.

It's extremely easy to read the batatrang throw as purposeful even though I wholly believe it was accidental but if that moment was explored more, I'm positive that Jason would believe it wasn't an accident, and would view it as proof of his already held view that Bruce doesn't love him anymore after all, that could have killed him, symbolically disowning him in the most extreme way possible.

Heck in Jason's appearance in Green Arrow (2001) Bruce had thought Jason might have died again! Before Jason turned up to mess with Mia.

The thing that's tragic about Jason that actually leads to a lot of his own suffering is that Jason doesn't really know what a healthy relationship looks like so I'm not sure when his actual 'last straw' would be.

Jason is the kind of person who sees love and acceptance as entirely circumstantial. He believes he must /earn/ love and acceptance, i.e. by being Robin, rather than it being inherently given.

A huge piece of understanding Robin Jason is understanding how much he lacked proper support systems back then. School was his only connection to his kids his age, and he didn't benefit much from that connection, his life was essentially: manor, school, Robin, repeat.

Jason loved school, but his school life was also pretty depressing. Jason kept to himself, he didn't have the time to participate in extracurriculars even when he wanted to and his peers didn't view him very positively. Jason was also really isolated from the rest of the hero community, there was his stint with the Titans, but it was pretty brief. He was also penpals with Kid Devil, but for the most part, he just had Batman.

The lack of support is actually one of the reasons I give for Jason and Steph dying in universe since they were the two Robins without support systems outside of Gotham. When Bruce was a jerk Dick and Tim could be like 'fine I'm going to go hang out with the Teen Titans or Young Justice' but Jason and Steph could only be like 'oh no' plus Bruce would deliberately try to take away Steph's support systems that she did have multiple times like when he ordered Cass to stop training with Steph.

But that's besides the point, I wouldn't be surprised if Jason confused being Robin with being accepted in the manor so when Bruce threatened to take away Robin from him, he might've seen it as his only proper support system being taken away from him, his world felt rocked back into instability once again.

When you look at it like that, it's very easy to understand why Jason sought out his biological mother. He had a hope that Sheila would offer him that stability once more, and that he'd get support and trust and unconditional love.

And that’s what make it all the more heartbreaking to me he came to this woman seeking love and gave her his greatest secret and she repaid him with a horrific death.  Jason’s death is one of the saddest to me because there’s no high stakes 'he died saving the world stuff' he’s just a kid who wanted a mom and got killed for it.

DC’s habit of taking away who he was is so detrimental to his backstory as the Red Hood because the transformation from someone who tried being kind and who did give it their all being killed for it and coming back like ‘no more’ is so much more interesting than ‘we always knew this would happen’.

Robin disobeying orders is nothing new. If that was the core of why Jason died, then any Robin disobeying orders should never be put in a positive light, but often it is. Jason (and Steph) were just the ones unlucky enough to emerge dead and judged for it instead of alive and praised for it.

Jason died because he was a child who just wanted to be safe and loved.

So many times Robin disobeying orders saved lives it’s nothing new and Jason had a pretty solid reason, the story of Jason Todd should be portrayed as the tragedy not make him some warning sign.

This is why I always hated the victim blaming after Jason & Steph's deaths because they died doing what if it had been Tim or Dick a Robin would be praised for, like take Steph for example we've seen constant stories of Bruce firing Robin, them going off on their own & Bruce realising he's wrong & taking them back but when Steph goes off on her own she dies the only reason Jason & Steph died is that the writers forced them to fail where they would have allowed the others to succeed.

But anyway back to my point the thing about Jason feeling like he had to earn love is why he was initially so hung up on the idea of Bruce 'replacing' him when he came back to life, he viewed Tim being robin as Bruce /transferring/ his love for Jason to another person, rather than seeing that Bruce could love Tim while still loving and missing him.

The reason Jason sought out his mother after Bruce benched him as Robin was that he viewed Bruce benching him as Bruce rejecting him and latched onto the idea of finding someone, i.e. a birth mother, who is supposed to give /unconditional love/.

The fact that his birth mother REJECTED HIM and then played a hand in his murder undoubtedly affected his attitude when he came back, if even his mother didn't want him, and then Bruce let the joker live and replaced him, then, in Jason's eyes, OF COURSE Bruce doesn't care and as mentioned previously Jason didn't really have any friends in school or the hero community, believing that the only real close personal connection in your live, someone you spent all your time with, had forgotten about you and rejected you is bound to mess a person up.

[deafchild2000]

My opinion when it comes to Henry and Drizella in OUAT

It's been a while since I last saw OUAT, especially season 7, and I still remember having opinions on their questionable choices.

And as the title stated: It's about Drizella and Henry.

Look at almost every Cinderella story and, despite the different names, there's always a Anastasia and Drizella and (whether or not we have Disney to thank for this is TBD) Anastatsia seems to be the twin that seems more redeemable.

Anyways, rambling aside, here's my point: I shipped Henry and Drizella. Why? Well, when I ship people - it's not always about looking good together. I want to know their characters and how chemistry works.

First and evident proof: The Bench Scene

Back before we knew Drizella had her memories, you can tell she was being genuine here. She has no angle or reason to be starting anything. She's just an annoyed stepsister looking for her missing niece, looking for her mother's ever-elusive approval. And Henry is just the guy who has issues that, for a night, was her confidante and willing to listen.

That was when I shipped it. These two people, who couldn't have been more farther from shipping material, just clicked for me.

And then it hit me when we got back to the beginning: Henry said he wanted a fairytale if his own and was low key taking ques from Snowing about what he wanted from a romantic relationship and just pegged it that Jacinda/Ella/Cinderella was the one. And from episode one, I must admit, I wasn't feeling it.

And maybe that's the entire point: It would have been way to obvious and cliche for them to be endgame!

In entire realms based on classic fairytales and love stories, the one most invested is the one we don't see coming! Look at Regina with Robin or Emma with Hook (three of the four basically raised Henry!)

It changes things when you're pursuing someone who's mostly uninterested in you, such as Jacinda. She's independent, brave, and not a "true believer" in True Love. Something about Jacinda before and after the curse had me more convinced that she and Henry were together but ended because their spark was no longer there and the writers were just forcing me to see GlassBeliever. I could see their shipping capabilities towards the middle and end of the show, but not enough to make me ship them. Or in other words, they're that couple who started well but realized they were better off as friends co-parenting a child (and considering how Henry grew up, that isn't the worst fate).

With Henry and Drizella...If I had to word it simply:

The character and the writer. The stepsister with an unchanging fate and the Author looking for a story of his own.

Let's imagine Drizella's side of the story: When she was nothing but a toddler, she and her family were poor and living on a traveling wagon when her mother disappeared. Despite a stable life and her father remarrying, a loving stepmom she's always known and an equally loving stepsister, she's missing her and wanting to come back, she has the idea to light up lanterns in hopes it will guide her home - which her sister, Anastasia dies, which does encourage her mother, Rapunzel, to come home. She's back and isn't quite used to having to mons (and perhaps feels a bit threatened that her stepmom might leave because of her...). On her birthday, her stepmom disappears and she's forced to watch her father look for her stepmom while deal with Repunzel acting in her steed. Then, a year later, she's grown closer to Repunzel

Henry is her Fairytale while Drizella Tremaine is his Guardian.

(...huh. The Author and The Guardian. Now that's a story I want to read!)

But why a Guardian? Hasn't Drizella been tempted by and given into evil plenty of times? But in that logic, shouldn't Regina had not been able to practice Light Magic? In OUAT, where rules can be bent or broken, the possibilities are endless, and who's to say Drizella, who was manipulated time and time again, wouldn't have had a redeeming arc to be a Savior!? (And I say this because there's no specific requirements for the position and someone had to fill in the position in Wish Realm!)

[marcovolta]

bleedingwings​:

As Marco reacts to her words, Sariel moves to sit in one of the stools, leaning her elbow against her counter and her cheek against her palm and watches the journey of his expressions as he fully takes in the meaning behind the few slips of information that she had allowed herself to give. Without meaning to, she finds herself endeared at the genuine distress on his face at the news, eyes growing soft and an endeared grin spreading through her lips as she keeps her gaze firmly on the man before her. His every expression is enchanting, and she cannot help but want to see how many more he can make under her careful teasing. As his cheek grow before he exhales, she has to hold back her desire to reach out and poke his cheek playfully. Sariel restrains herself, and it is as if cold water had been upended over her head as she realizes her actions. Freezing in place for a long moment, she blinks rapidly and lowers her arm, straightening up and clasping her hands on her lap to prevent any further and odd itches from being born.  She replaces the expression that had formed on her face without permission by a lopsided grin.

“Wouldn’t know, Wendy’s is my go to,” she informs him, attempting to go back to the teasing to stop feeling so off-kilter. It is true too, since she thinks it’s highly amusing to find the Wendy’s the Asphodel not-druid visits and see the constant stream of people that bother her. From across the street and well out of the blast zone. She does blink in surprise at the combination of ingredients, for she has seen most of them in apothecaries and she can guess the result. Not exactly coffee but — . “You will have to brew me a cup, because now I can’t go another day without trying this mix. You came up with the recipe? Because if so that is highly impressive and demonstrates that you have a deft understanding of botany.”

It is surprising, to be honest, to depth of knowledge that would take to make such concoction and she can’t deny that this tidbit makes everything altogether more interesting. With that in mind, she keeps an eye on Marco as he demonstrates how to eat the risotto and nods more to herself than anything as she follows along. Fork dipping into the risotto, she brings it to her lips and takes a bite, stopping on her tracks as the flavor hits her tongue and she is suddenly transported to a time without worries. The brightness in Uriel’s soul after yet another of their victories, the first time she had drawn a laugh and a smile from Roth’s lips, endless hours of watching Hayliel try new outfits only to be dragged into an unexpected ABBA sing a long, telling stories of mischief and chaos with Atarnial as they sat next to a bonfire, holding Zagreus for the first time —  so small and yet so full of life, another proof that falling is not the curse the blessed make it to be — , watching Nicolas laugh without bitterness, Echion’s face lite up in joy, hushed conversations with Dumah in which for a moment they forget their loyalties. Countless memories overpower her as she takes bite after bite unwilling to stop despite the burst of emotion so strong that she cannot get a hold of it before it raises to her eyes and fills them with tears that fall warmly down her cheeks. 

“It’s good,” she says quietly in between bites, voice choked by the good memories, bittersweet as some might be. Letting the fork rest on the plate, she raises a hand to rub away some of the tears. “Really good.”

-

Wendy’s that fiendish ginger was always up to no good. Marco didn’t have a vengeful bone in his body but every month he wrote their head office a strongly worded letter about the detrimental impact they were having to the people of Rome - and they kept sending him free frosty coupons as a result. The true war for the city had already begun. “Please stop-” he smiled, “I don’t think I can hear another word about that place.” Marco wouldn’t tell her what to do, but he would be sending her home with enough leftovers and homemade snacks so she’d hopefully steer clear of the place for the rest of the week. A gift, from the Dahlia family to Michael’s. Also she was really, really pretty. 

“I can’t take all the credit for it,” Marco admitted, “Volta witches have been working with ingredients for a very, very long time.” The grimoire was one thing, but they had a whole section of the Dahlia library dedicated to tomes written by the witches that had come before him. Uses for lemon zest, orange, fermentation practices and culinary techniques abound. “I’m not very good at... Flashy magic... but I’ve never really needed to be. My mother wasn’t either but she was still the greatest witch I’ve ever met. She used to make this risotto for me when I was feeling down.” It was his heart’s ambition to be even a fraction of as good as she had been, nothing he did was perfect but that didn’t stop him from getting back into the kitchen everyday and trying again. “And I definitely wouldn’t call myself a botanist, but I guess I have kind of a greenthumb - the journals and, well, google helps a lot.” Modernity had made itself a great convenience for witches in many respects. 

All too often Marco got ahead of himself, he got carried away with his cooking and while the Dahlia witches were more acclimated to his recipe styles... It was easy to forget that wasn’t the case for everyone. Waves of emotions washed over the seraphim’s face and Marco realized that he’d just inadvertently brought Michael’s sister to tears upon their first meeting. That was bad... Yeah, that was probably really bad - he wanted to ask her if she could maybe not tell Vivianne or Michael about this but he really didn’t want to be rude. Marco would just not mention this seraphim to them at all and hope that the topic just never came up again. 

“Right-” Marco winced, “sorry,” this was not a good look. “I should have told you, my recipes can be really potent: this one is meant to prepare people for afternoon training so they’re loaded with stamina and... Positive feelings, nostalgic memories to be exact.” Dahlia witches went all out when what they were fighting for was at the forefront of their mind, “You don’t have to finish it, I’m sorry I’ll- I can make you something else, do you like quiche?” Marco’s voice went up an octave again before he cleared his throat. He wondered what sort of life a person was leading if a few warm memories were enough to bring tears to her eyes, that might have been the saddest part about all this. 

[captnjacksparrow]

I just got into the fandom and I love it so much. However, there are parts where I just cringe. I’m going to be completely honest when I say I can’t see SS being a thing, a healthy one at that. A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him. I just... find it utterly bullshit. Hell, even I do ship narusasu, I tried to be open minded and not fall too far off canon or the characters. I don’t understand how Sasuke had those feelings for her when all he did was shown the opposite and it felt genuine. He seem always annoyed and pushes her away. She kept forcing her feelings on him when he makes it clear that he’s not interested. I don’t hate the ship because it’s not my ship but because it’s extremely toxic. It feels one-sided (Sakura’s side) more than anything and it’s makes it hard to believe he had those feelings for her. I mean, on the second episode of season five, she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive. She’s just like every other fangirl expect she’s on his team. I’m trying my best not to hate her but Damn she’s really pushing it. Anything that annoyed me was that she made it seem like they were dating, again making it about herself and her feelings. She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.” I just can’t with this ship. I’m still wondering why the hell is it even a thing? Also find it beyond pitiful how she stayed with Sasuke in Boruto when he left for 12-13 years?! No note. No checking up. Nothing. Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP. If that’s what true love looks like (good thing it’s not), then I’d die single. I can’t be the only one who thinks this ship is just as bad as Harley Quinn x Joker.

First off, Thanks for this lovely ask @larrycherry04 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've always wanted to write about this and your ask is the perfect timing.

Disclaimer: SS shippers, Sakura fans!!! Don’t read  this post!!

Me being an SNS shipper, I am just going to write this from a non-SNS perspective. Meaning, I am going to consider Naruto and Sasuke are just friends or rivals. 

Bear with my lengthy answer.

Where do I even begin?

A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

I think this rumor is from a light novel called Akatsuki Hiden or whatever shit. But for me, it looks like a pathetic attempt to convince those horny women shippers who would pay any money to read a romance which mirrors their own love life where they desire an ‘unreachable & handsome’ man who has this ‘cool & overbearing’ aura and carries this ‘bad boy badass’ vibe. They would do anything to get the attention from this boy. Until this point is where the reality ends. 

What they really wants to happen and fantasize is somehow that handsome man, one day, will look only them and recognize their love and becomes a ‘soft’ guy who would bring the heavens for them and treats her like a princess. That fantasy led them to buy these novels and believe everything while completely disregarding the canon material. And those novels are aimed at these type of women.

You must have been wondering now, ‘I have seen these type of shit somewhere’!!!!!

That’s right.

50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, 100′s of K-Drama, C-Drama follow this shit romance trope and it’s regrettably fucking popular. 

In other words, Don’t believe anything apart from the canonic resources. 

Let’s dissect the canon materials about SS.

TEAM 7 

This is how it all started

Does anyone see anything positive here???? 

Well, I am not.

Sakura wanted to impress Sasuke. Since, Naruto always picks fight with Sasuke, she badmouthed Naruto in the hopes that Sasuke will recognize some common ground with her which may develop into a friendship. But she shot her own foot. 

[Regardless, I hated her here and she never redeemed herself, for her being completely insensitive & oblivious towards Sasuke’s life, the boy she loves]

Technically, Sasuke should have said ‘You’re Annoying’ towards Naruto for kissing him before the class and tying him up later. Here, Sakura is simply badmouthing another guy. He, somehow, find this very annoying than anything Naruto did earlier. 

Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

Am definitely not seeing any feelings here.  

ZABUZA ARC

Alright, much later, somehow Sasuke started to integrate into team 7 and started to see them as a Family. No denial here. He started to care about everyone in his team at some point. Which was evident from the way he thought to himself, ‘That was Sakura’s voice... What is Kakashi doing?’

But does it means he hopelessly fell in love with her??? Nope. 

It’s just a team camaraderie where he was worried about his teammate. If he has special feelings towards her, he should have said ‘I must go save Sakura’ or something along the line. 

But, later in that episode, he went on to die for Naruto and even at his dying moments he didn’t think about Sakura or Team 7. It was all about someone else.

Even seconds before falling into Naruto’s arms, Sasuke was smiling with no regrets. 

It was funny very later that after he got up from his temporary death, rather than consoling her like ‘Sakura, Don’t cry. Am alright’ or anything, he was asking ‘Where’s Naruto?’. LOL.

Even much later, when Sakura was asking him about a date, he bluntly said ‘I refuse’.

So, you’re telling me, throughout this arc, a boy blinded with hatred can able to pout, play childish games, train and die for a boy but when it comes to Sakura he can’t show his feelings???

Sorry, I don’t see romance here. Not in this arc.

Whether you agree or not, every parent has their favorite child, every child has their favorite parent. Even within your family, you always have a special person.

For Sasuke, Itachi was that person in his real family. Sakura was not that person in his Team 7 family. It was Naruto.

CHUNIN EXAMS ARC

This arc is where those SS shippers celebrates a lot and I know why. Remember earlier I talked about that shitty 50 Shades of Grey romantic trope??? The following scene vaguely falls under that pattern.

A guy loses his control because of a cursed seal and beats up the guys who hurt one of his teammates which happens to be a girl and calms down after seeing the girl. 

That Infamous back hug. 

I understand why SS people lose their mind with that scene. And I don’t blame them. I am going to throw their own proof at them.

So, this First databook, tells us that he finally sees both Naruto and Sakura as comrades and his heart softens from the path of revenge, a little bit.

Definitely, Sakura’s tears or love towards him stopped his rampage. But nothing says about whether Sasuke loves her back.  

Much later, Sasuke also stops his cursed seal on his own after thinking about worried Sakura and a screaming Naruto (Who don’t know about this seal thingy at that time). 

Well, whatever. That databook has another funny fact, that too in the same page. 

LOL. Weird!!!! This accidental kiss unravels Sasuke’s heart ❤️❤️???? 🤣🤣🤣

So, influencing Sasuke’s heart can be attributed to both his teammates,according to this databook. Atleast upto this arc. There are no special feelings for Sakura alone, guys. 

Proof?

If Sasuke really considers her in a romantic light (this is after that back hug), he doesn’t have to do this at all. Believe me, Love is all about subconsciously or purposefully enjoying or feeling little touches. Those touches can be through eyes, memories or physical. Sakura is delighted with his touch because she loves him but Sasuke just see her as a comrade and keeping his distance but this time very politely.

If Kishi really likes these couple, he doesn’t have to make this scene at all. It’s not just this one instance, he rejected her twice very bluntly before this saying ‘Don’t cling to me!!!’, ‘Sakura, you’re heavy!!!’. 

If you say her back hug is a token of romance, then I can say ‘this’ kiss is also a token of romance. You can’t ignore one while keeping the other.

Anyways, at the end of the arc, Orochimaru is the best judge to identify who can change Sasuke’s heart. And that person is not Sakura.

DEPARTURE

she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive.

You know what, Larry??? You are 1000% right. 

But, atleast, I thought she was genuine in the first part of the proposal, like saying ‘Revenge is not good’.....bla bla.. Because, Revenge will never satisfy a person completely and I agree. Then she took a 180 degree by saying ‘Take me with you, Sasuke-Kun. I’ll make you happy’. This is where I lost it entirely. ‘Alright Bitch, So you really don’t care about his revenge or health. As long as you have the chance to get inside his pants, you are okay with it. So you are okay with Sasuke going to Orochimaru as long as you are with him..... Fucking Shit!!!!’  This is not okay at all. 

How did Sasuke respond?

“Why should I have to tell you anything”

“I’m telling you to keep your nose out of my business”

“Stop bothering me over everything I do”

Ummm..... where I come from, this screams ‘Irritation’ to me. Added to it, throughout the whole conversation he never saw her face. There was evidently no pain or anything from his face. On top the cake, here comes the cherry

“You really are...annoying”

This is where he saw her face throughout that painful confession before knocking her out. Umm... When you love someone or atleast feel for someone, you will look in their eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave. Or atleast show some pain??? There’s visibly nothing from Sasuke’s face. 

Alright, I know what SS wankers will pull out here. That Databook 2 with some vague words. I am going to throw this at them. 

Again, like I acknowledged before, he considers her as a comrade and part of a family. So, her existence also eased his loneliness. But you have to look at the word choice here. “The one that filled his lonely existence was Sakura”. It’s not the ‘Only’ person. Before he left he said ‘Thanks’. Meaning, Thanks for all these days. That’s all between us. 

This piece was about the Team 7 picture. So he acknowledges, he was not alone during his genin days because of his companions and Kakashi (so it’s not just Sakura to ease his loneliness). Whatever he said to Sakura was real. 

So can we safely confirm “You’re annoying” is real????

But what’s really interesting is the way Sasuke projects himself before Naruto. I am going to refrain myself from attaching all those rollercoaster of emotions flowed throughout the fight in VoTE 1. Otherwise, it will become an SNS post. 

However, this particular scene caught my attention.

Ummm.... Initially Sasuke walks without looking at Naruto. Then he looks back and answers him. 

Naruto was pretty much asking the same question as Sakura. “Why does it come to this?”

But Sasuke pauses and surprised for a moment and asks him pretty much “Why do you care about me?”

Why couldn’t Sasuke do the same with Sakura???? Kishi can pretty much make a panel or two rather than making some insulting panels.

Anyways, If they throw the databook, then I can also throw the same.

Alright, can someone explain the highlighted sentence for me???? Because I want to confirm whether I have a blurry vision.

Here, Sasuke is trying to punctuate Naruto as a different person from the rest of his companions. ‘his companions as well as that with Naruto’, I mean, Come on!!!! Naruto is also one of your companions along with Sakura. Why differentiate????

‘The village, companions, Naruto,....’ . Again....He is differentiating his home (village), companions (his friends), and Naruto. So who is Naruto for him? What is the need to make exception for Naruto? It’s very clear he is placing Naruto at a high pedestal for some unknown reasons.

Before this Databook dissection, remember I said something about saying Goodbye, ‘ When you love someone or at least feel for someone, you will look into that person’s eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave‘

Sasuke is doing exactly that here in this scene without saying anything.

Am sorry SS shippers, you can scream all you want about Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench. But there was no emotional distraught when he left her. Sasuke seemingly spent a longer time staring at Naruto than looking at Sakura when she confessed. 

OROCHIMARU HIDEOUT

Well, there is nothing I can say about here for SS. He pretty much saw her and said, “Sakura, huh?”.. And that’s all. He didn’t give two shits about her. 

His attention was completely on someone else. 

UNDER THE BRIDGE

She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.”

Naruto pretty much said the same thing in this arc, Larry. Naruto, in part 1, was happy for Sakura feeling the same about Sasuke as him, that is ‘To bring him back’. And also sad that his crush really loves someone else. But after Sakura gave up on Sasuke and faking her confession, Naruto decided, ‘Alright, I want to save him personally. I don’t care about our promise anymore”. 

This is where, SS ship goes into a crazy ride and it’s not a positive one.

Sasuke was on a rampage. He lost the ability to differentiate between his friends and foes. He stabbed Karin. And when he find her alive, he was about to Chidori her. 

And then comes the pink princess, full of lies and deceit. And Sasuke being impatient and disgusted with her lies, he does this

Well, in part 1, she had a degree of power to change his heart. But not here. He, instead, got riled up more and even tried to kill her without a warning and that too by not looking at her face. Pathetic!!!!

This scene screams ‘Trust issues’ from both sides. 

Did it stop here???

Fucking Shit!!!!!! Is there any people who still ship this nonsense?. If you are a Sakura fan, you should hate her for the lack of trust and backstabbing the person she loves, 

If you are a Sasuke fan, errrrmmm.....I have nothing to say. You know what to do. 

There is nothing positive here, that can make me ship them. He is killing her like a Mosquito.

If you truly loved someone in the past, even in your darkest moments, you will be honest and you cannot fake before that person.   

Proof??

Here, Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill his brother, Itachi. He lived for this moment for about 8 years and immersed himself in Darkness for 3 years with Orochimaru. He could have run away, dodge or look away from Itachi. But Sasuke simply couldn’t!!! You know why?? Sasuke loved Itachi once more than anything in this world. At this moment, he is letting all those defense loose and embracing the moment and see what Itachi was about to do. Because somewhere in his heart he trusts Itachi. 

But killing Sakura doesn’t make Sasuke feel anything. She is just another victim like Danzo or Karin or all those Samurais or a fucking mosquito!!!!

So you are telling me that Sasuke had feelings for her but kept it hidden all along and still tried to kill her like a pest???

Give me a fucking break!!!!

And you all know, who changed Sasuke’s heart here in this scene. It was not Sakura. There’s absolutely no reason for Sasuke to listen to that person and what’s more, Sasuke even made a promise (despite being in darkness, he had it in his heart to listen to that person) to destroy Konoha only after killing that person .. 

WAR ARC

Well, this is the arc where Sakura behaves like a rabid dog on heat waiting for Sasuke and shamelessly trying to wag her tails. But Sasuke didn’t give two shits about her, not once or twice but multiple times.

MOMENT 1

An explosion was about to kill the whole shinobi alliance and this dude wants to save Jugo, his companion and Naruto, the person who will challenge his Revolution, his rival and the one whom he wants to kill. Why only Naruto??? Why not Naruto and Sakura???

Pink cherry Queen doesn’t even crossed Sasuke’s mind.  Because he already threw her away in part 1. 

MOMENT 2

Alright Bitch!!! The entire shinobi alliance was dying on the other side of the battlefield. And this asshole is doing a clownshow before Madara just to get inside Sasuke’s pants????

I mean, Come On!!!! 

Well, if Sasuke truly likes her, he should be the one to have catched her or atleast should have asked her, ‘are you alright??’ 

I am sorry, where are the romantic feelings???

MOMENT 3

ROFLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For the first time, Kishimoto is trolling those Sakutards through Sasuke’s words, what we, readers were right about all along. He is calling her useless here. And still these fake feminazis trying to ship her with him???

Don’t you guys have any self respect??? If so, this should be the moment to jump out of this trash ship.

MOMENT 4

Geez!!! You are still on this ship????? 

He clearly doesn’t want to save her at all. The hawk can clearly lift 3 people. Sasuke is not even making an effort here. 

And you are still yapping that he is blinded by darkness??? 

MOMENT 5

This is the moment SS calls it as ‘eyesmex’... While in reality, he was just looking at her and silently thanking her for helping him out. Do you know what is a real ‘eyesmex’??? I will attach it at the end.

If you guys pull this as true love, then he should have stayed in the same love till the end. But Sasuke has other ideas. 

This is the one of the funniest thing in this arc. LOLLLLL

Instead of being relieved that Sakura was saved, Sasuke was wondering about Kakashi’s Susanoo.....and Sharingan. 

Do people still think he cares about her????

MOMENT 6

Am cackling here, while dissecting the sorry state of this ship guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!! If something good happens to me because of SS , it’s just the way you guys are making me laugh by making a clown out of yourself!!!!

Do you guys know something? There was a man named Itachi. Before massacring his clan, the very first person he killed was his ‘supposed’ Girlfriend, named Izumi. I wouldn’t say Itachi loved her like a lover boy. It was just one sided on her part. He just talks to her when he finds a spare time and considers her a good friend. 

Do you know how he killed her? 

By putting her in a ‘Tsukuyomi’. And what kind of Tsukuyomi, you ask?

Can you see how he fulfilled her dreams gracefully before he was going to kill her???

Why didn’t Sasuke do this???? Why particularly select a murdering genjutsu????

MOMENT 7

He said it, finally.

He don’t love her at all. There was no hidden feelings. He admitted from his own mouth. 

One day later, after the final VoTE battle ends.... After exchanging some intense feelings and even crying tears of happiness with Naruto....

Sasuke tells Sakura, ‘Sorry’....

Ummm.... That’s all???

All those negative shits happened before cannot be solved by just simply saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’. If someone has an ounce of self-respect, they should know this is not OKAY at all...🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Am Sorry, but Sasuke was just being politely blunt, kind of insincere towards Sakura and turned his attention somewhere else in a matter of minutes. He was not even bothered by Sakura’s tears here. Instead staring at someone on his left. Remember I talked about touching the person physically and visually?

Sasuke is subconsciously or purposefully touching someone on his left through his eyes. Definitely it’s not Sakura. You know who it is. Remember SStards’ infamous ‘eyesmex’... I seriously believe this is a perfect example of ‘eyesmex’.

All these intense looks and feeling pain still doesn’t serve Sakura, even after pulled out of darkness. If there is a moment, where SS wants to shine, then this is where it should be. He should have told her, how he missed her all along, how he felt about hurting her, should have wiped her tears and some corny shit. But instead, Sasuke went for a long ass monologue for his friend and talking about sharing his pain. 

What about your kween’s pain???? 

You don’t have to ship SNS. But you should know where Sasuke’s priorities are. 

It’s not Sakura. 

Sasuke said ‘Sorry’ to Karin too. ‘Thank you’ to Kakashi as well. 

And what’s even more pathetic is, still Sakura wants to get inside Sasuke’s pants by accompanying him. Bitch, you can help your village, console your best friend Ino who lost her father, try to surpass Tsunade, improve your skills or whatever... Why bother him???

So, if you really think ‘Thank you’ as a token of love, then I can’t help it but term Sakura as a rabid dog who waits for her master to come home and throw some bones whenever he finds time. Your standards for a romantic love is piss poor and you will suffer just like Sakura in Boruto with just emptiness. All Sasuke did was poke her forehead just like Itachi which symbolizes keeping someone at a distance. He also said the same words to her just like Itachi said to him many times ‘Mata kondo da’ meaning ‘Maybe next time’. And we all knew that next time never came for Sasuke. 

Now all we see is a Sasuke as an absentee father in Boruto for which I don’t blame him. He was never a marriage material in the first place. Sakura and the Manga Editors forced him and she is paying for it. 

Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP.

All I want to say to SS shippers is, Your Ship Has Sailed Already. You cannot expect Sasuke to go lovey dovey towards Sakura with a 12 year old daughter around and for fuck’s sake, this is not a romance manga, it’s a battle manga. So stop dreaming about this kind of non-existential romance and pull yourself altogether.

[thefanbasewhore]

About Time.

Summary: While Din has a hard time showing how he feels, it’s not take he doesn’t want to I’ve into them, he wants nothing more in this world but in order to keep you safe he makes some decisions that can strain your relationship forever. Reader has enough of it and finally says something to be ignored. Despite this she still does something that makes even the Mandalorian cry.

Warning/Content: Fluffy din, broken heart, din doesn’t know how to handle his feelings, emotional Din with first kiss between characters. Two idiots finally admitting their feelings for each other.

Paring: Din Djarin/Female Reader

Tag list here || Master list.

“Do you want some of these, is that is bug?” Your tone is teasing, a small laughing falling from petal like lips and Din can’t find himself to look away from the soft curve of your nose, eyes wrinkling with joy to match the most breath-taking smile even though it’s directed towards the child tucked inside the bag the slings across the Mandalorian’s chest he is rather breathless at the sight.

From the form of your jaw, the few dark spots that form against cheeks, he feels his heart stuttering inside his chest. The sun is hangs so high in the air, thick clouds can’t even contain the orange haze that hits your skin just right, illuminating the dips of collarbones, a natural glow that no one could even come close to. The shine reflecting off the beskar but you still manage to look up, pause and really give him something to be nervous about as the kind smile is now exclusively for the breathless Mandalorian.

Despite what others may think that the Mandalorian is ruthless, nothing but a cold stone killer he proves them wrong. Has an eye for acquired beauty, takes time at every planet he visits just to watch the sunset - if it’s over the forest, the bitter cold mountains or buzzing city, there’s just something about watching the colors of the sky collide, the dim light singing a silent lullaby with the promise of new life tomorrow when sun rises again. But nothing, absolutely nothing will beat that smile, it’s hurts to see it, makes his head spin as he’s consumed with thoughts of you, you, you.

Knees feel like they’re going to buckle underneath the weight of your smile, cheeks are instantly hot as he’s caught but with the way the sun touches your skin and glimmers against the natural highlights of your cheek bones, he could careless. So close, your so close he can smell the intoxicating scent of soap, gooseberries and spice, sweet but fierce, calm but firey. A surge of goosebumps makes him shiver feeling the heat of your body as you brush your hand along his arm unintentionally raising the sleeve of cookies teasingly, up and down towards the child. His bead bobs with your own, he’d following that smile to the pits of underworld.

The marketplace is full, buzzing with life, bodies knocking against each other in the afternoon rush, a few goers knocking against the Mandalorian and yourself but he quickly puts a stop to it. He’s closer, nearly attached at the hip, helmet following anyone who gets too close with a silent warning which has a few men gulping, turning back into the direction they came from.

“What else do you need?” The vocoder crackles under his baritone, thick and laced with a genuine concern that makes you bite the inside of your cheek. He must have reached out unintentionally for you, watching as your eyes flicker from his gloved hold that softly rubs your wrist to his face, cheeks flushing just a little as he pulls away - not sure if his actions.

“I think we have everything.” Face burning, but only because of how fast the Mandalorian moved away - like he was disgusted, impulsed he would ever touch you. He seems to notice the shift of temper, nervously trailing behind as you walk away without a second glance towards him.

His throat is weary, unable to speak because of just how try it feels. It’s awkward, lingering silence between you, he wants to know why. Nervousness stirs his stomach, beads sweat across his forehead. He’s so inobvious of your affections, it is absolutely infuriating at times. It’s not his fault, how could he notice? He can barely think with you so close. The sudden change doesn’t go unnoticed though, not daring to look up at him at least half way through the market place.

“Are you okay?” He’s clueless, completely unaware of your pounding heart, the question making you pause and freeze and he must have not been paying attention as he hits your back with a small huff through the static of the vocoder, knocking the wind from your startled chest. He curses under his breath, fingers spreading across the base of your hip to steady you. “Kriff, I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

“Fine.” The word is sharp, more harsh then intended and thankfully the Mandalorian’s face can’t been seen, confusion pinches his eyebrows, mouth dropping to say something, anything but the little wobble of your voice along with the small tears that gloss over eyes as him immobilized.

Unable to speak, not prepared nor what to say to the tearing beauty in front of him. What does he say? Does he let it go? Obviously you didn’t want to talk, but he doesn’t like the swirl of emotions in his own chest as he watches you turn, try to slip out towards the direction of the Crest but his hands grab your sides before he even register what is happening.

“Wait.. wait. Cyar'ika, why are you crying?” As the tears slip past long eyelashes he feels confused. “Where are you going?”

“Why do you always do this?” The words confuse the Mandalorian, make him step closer, reach for you but with every inch he steps forward you find yourself steering away. “You can’t keep calling me these nicknames, touching me and acting like nothing exist between us. It’s - it’s - it’s exhausting! Every time I bring it up, you ignore me.”

He never misses a beat, hearing the choke in your throat, voice rising an oculate as his heart pounds inside his chest. He pauses, completely freezes as the commotion causes uncomfortable eyes. Harsh and grumbled. “Not here.”

“You never want to talk about it! – ugh, you’re impossible!” While he didn’t particularly like your tone there are some truths behind your words, the sting of realization brazes his cheeks, makes him bite his lip, chewing nervously on the fat of it.

It’s true, every single word. He is impossible, difficult to talk too especially when it comes to feelings. He wants to blame it on his upbringing, feelings were never a factors, what he felt never mattered. He carried it all throughout his life but what really did matter in this point and time is how you feel. It matters to him, the way you pout if he doesn’t hold you close at night, when you’re feeling homesick, like a caged bird from being in the Crest for too long. He cares, cares so much but doesnt know how to show it.

Din Djarin doesn’t like change, he doesn’t like being unprepared, parting from a very stern schedule but once he met you, that all seemed to be thrown out the door, only coming up on a year but it feels like another life. Truthfully, he doesn’t know how to handle these feelings, they swell inside, make his heart four times bigger until he feels like it’s going to explode with just how lovely you are. So naturally, just like the way he was raised instead of handling them, he chooses to ignore them, let them dangle in front of your face with sweet nicknames, touches of a lover, promised that seem like nothing.

The Crest isn’t too far, camouflaged between trees whose think branches canope around it, the greenery hiding any proof the Mandalorian roams these parts, he didn’t have too. It’s almost second nature now, hiding the ship to guarantee the safety for his son and girl.

You don’t say another word, shoving through the rather large crowd, slipping through a few crack but so quickly that Din and his large mass of armor can barely catch up, calling your name but it’s no use as you’re swollowed into the swarm of people.

When the Mandalorian finally does make it to the ship he calls home he lifts the sleeping child from the brown bag, rockling him softly until he reaches the threshold of the upper belly of the Razor Crest, noticing the rather large lump of blankets. He pauses, his heart wants him to press further, peel back every layer of insecurity as the blankets would reveal your body under his fists but he shakes his head, clear the thought all together before placing the child next to you, placing the loose corner to cover him. The Mandalorian doesn’t come to bed that night or even the next following nights.

He doesn’t dare speak, the only time you do hear him over the course of a few days is a cracked scolding or coo towards the child but he now spends the majority of his time in the cockpit. He doesn’t look at you, doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. It’s like two ghosts passing in the night. It makes you regret even bringing it up, claiming his sweet touches were fake, that his kisses in the dark meant nothing. You know they do, despite how much he wants to claim their not, that he doesn’t care for you in the way, the memory of the smile that caresses your shoulder says different, the warm lips that melt against your forehead but never dare dive to the intoxicity of your lips. He used to hold you so close at night, warmth and familiarity fight away fear that may creep up on you late a night but now you find yourself nudging nose deep into the pillows just to get a glimpse of his fated scent.

Earthy woods, dewy morning pine smell mixed with the ringed, worn leather of his gloves. You never realized how much you loved it. Even right now, late hours of the night but early hours of the morning sitting up on the bed. The only sound is the heavy breathing of the little green ball curled up in Din’s spot, sleep doesn’t seem to come easy anymore.

You’re so exhausted, eyes heavy, crusting for the relief of closing but nothing can take away the aching of your heart. It hurts so much you find yourself pressing your hand against your chest, rubbing the skin like it would sooth the ache. It almost makes you want to march up the stupid, wobbly later and apologize but it’s hard when you meant every word you said.

You know it deep in your heart Din cares for you, he would do anything, die for you but living on this constant edge of “what are we” is almost as tiring as not sleeping for three days, at this moment you can’t tell which one is worse. He needed to admit it, stop playing heartless bounty hunter because he’s anything but.

He’s comes off as cold, stern and ruthless but he’s anything but. He’s kind, cares for others. You see it in the way he tries to understand, attempt to speak the languages of the people he meets in order to make sure they’re more comfortable. He gives the benefit of the doubt no matter the reputation of man. Maybe because it hits so close to home. To the outside world he is a cold man, will do anything to return his bounty but if anyone bothered to try, the world would notice the façade quickly crumbles.

You’re so wrapped up in just thinking, concentrating on every breath that falls from your erratic, heavy chest you don’t notice the way the ladder to the upper level rattles under the pressure of a man.

He pauses almost instantly, clearly not expecting the sight of you protruding forward, sore shoulders slumped. Not noticing the extra shadow you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to keep the small promise of tears from rolling over but it’s pretty much useless.

The tears come, flush against the heat of your face as you pull the blanket closer, turning the slightest bit just to check up on the sleeping child but tucked away in the corner the rather large silhouette catches catches your own reflection.

He pauses, the T of his visor never leaves the direction of your reddening face. There’s a small noise, a peak of his voice. It’s like he tried to speak, words dying in his throat, tries to hide it but the vocoder catches it.

Din feels at war. His heart just wants to climb into bed with you, kiss every single tear that you cry but his brain says the opposite. Be logical, it would never last, no one would want a life like this why would he subject you to it? Give you more of a reason to stay?

Besides it’s easier this way, you would never be safe. If there isn’t one already, there would be a giant target painted on your back. Especially with the child, you would never be safe.

Honestly, you don’t know what hurts more, the lack of sleep that pinches your eyes or the sinking of your heart as the Mandalorian walks away without a word.

The next morning is awkward, scratch that, the last few days have just weird. Din comes before you even manage to wake, taking the child to feed and wash him and keeps him in the cockpit while he tries to figure out where the last bounty has traveled to. Which is fine but all this time alone as left you.. bored.

Usually you would be up there with them, teasing the Mandalorian at the fact that his voice raises a few notches as he talks to Grogu, which would only result in a scoff but he would still murmurs in the annoyingly cute voice and call him his little co-pilot.

The words on the page in front of you start to blur, words grouping together, it didn’t make any sense no matter how many times you try to reread them. The ship is rather warmer then usual, not having to go outside to know it’s a beautiful, warm day and judging by your calculations, it was market day again.

You stand aimlessly, the lack of sleep making you shift on your feet, balance and coordination long gone. Movements are slower, messy but despite heavy eyes still are able to move though the belly of the Crest to find your bag, throwing it across your shoulder as you mindlessly press the button the shakes and squeals as the hydraulics of the descending ramp come to life.

You don’t want to be alone anymore, no matter how much the bed calls, the chattering of civilization and social interaction call you from just over the ridge. Before stepping out, you take one last look around, biting your lip as you nervously suck on it. It wasn’t a good idea to just disappear, just in case something would happen but truthfully, the Mandalorian doesn’t seem to care too much at the moment.

The first step into the forest is liberating, fresh air beings the color back to your skin, it’s easier to breath following the small trail towards the town. Fresh pine and dark green leaves that shiver with every low breeze, it nips your skin pink but it just feels so good to be out of the ship.

***

The laugh that falls from your lips is quite unexpected, the small human that extends his hand, offering you a beautiful, purple flower.

“Thank you.” The boy gives a shy smile before disappearing behind the stall of the vender, off to find his mother.

The market is buzzing, filled with laughs, venders shouting deals from every corner, the smells are beautiful, mixed with homemade soaps to mouth watering food. The colors are bright, no doubt to match the just as shining sun, bright oranges and sky blues from fabrics, blanket and clothing.

You find yourself smack dab in the middle of it, not really knowing where to start as the first smile in days touches your lips as people shove past you. It felt good to be out but the realization of why you were alone dropped your smile instantly.

“Are you alright miss?” The voice moving your head in direction, peering over your shoulder to notice the man leaning against one of the stalls, throwing the apple in his hand up then back down to his palm.

He was quite tall but not as tall as the Mandalorian. A scruffy dark beard that is cut low, leaving a shadow of darkness over the distal end of his prominent features. Cupid lips, the curve of his nose strong but the bridge slightly crooked, looks like it’s been broken a few times. Baby blue eyes, ones that are filled with concern as you realize how long you’re taking looking at him. He has silky, long curls.

“Yeah…” You finally answer, unsure of the words as he steps closer. His clothes look expensive, blood red fleece mixed with a pattern of gold. He gives you a small grin… And he’s not ugly.

His skin is flushed from it’s normal color, no doubt a little irritated from the brutal sun. He smiles at your reply, dimples and all. “Would you like an apple miss?”

“How do I know you didn’t do anything to it?” This makes him laugh, clicking his tongue as he flirty leans a little forward.

“I guess you must take a leap of faith, my lady. I’m sure one little, innocent apple won’t cause death to such a pretty lady.”

Your cheeks ignite almost instantly but the wide smile hides it. “My lady?”

“Well you never gave me your name.”

“You never asked.” You take the apple from his outstretched palm, watching and anticipating the bite but it never comes. Still skeptical of taking foods from a stranger.

“What is your name?” You answer, telling him as his hand covers your free one but right when you’re about to push him away he brings the ring on your finger closer to his face, running his own thumbs over it in amazement.

“What is it?” His eyes fill with so much awe at the stone, large and black. It looked like a galaxy, the stars inside of it moving, making him look up questioningly. “It’s moving, it’s amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“It’s just a moonstone.” A gift from months ago, Din had shyly placed it in front of you, swearing Grogu picked it out but the way he lingered for a reaction told you everything.

He must have noticed how close he was but didn’t bother to move as his eyes widen. “Oh, sorry! I don’t get out much.” He must have noticed the pinch of confusion Where are my manners? I’m Prince Brydon.“

“Prince? As of prince of?”

He pauses, brows moving closer in confusion. “As of Aralan, the planet we are on..”

“Oh.” Suddenly you felt nervous of the man, giving him a polite but uncomfortable smile.

“I know I just met you but would you like to walk with me? Just for a little, I can offer you food or drink?” Who are you to say no to the prince?

You’re about to follow but a smooth grip that pulls you back by your elbow makes your head whip back. The orange tipped leather gloves never leave despite gaining your attention, instead pull you further away from the prince. Even though the Mandalorian’s face is completely concealed, there’s no hiding his anger, he visibly trembles, words are deep from his chest. “Where have you been? How long have you been gone?”

You look up at the prince apologically, feeling like a  toddler getting a scolding especially with the angle of your arm. The baby is pressed against his chest with the other arm, cooing as he reaches out for you. His father’s displeased attitude rubbing off onto the green baby. 

The Mandalorian is frustrated, so much he doesn’t notice the prince only lets a soft curse fall from the static as he releases your arm, mumbling a soft sorry as he extends the child towards you. You take him happily, bouncing him as he goes right to burying his petal-like ears into the crook of your neck. With that you hope the Din will just leave it alone, go back to not talking because right now the last thing you want to deal with is him. “You can’t just run off like that, what is something happened?” It felt good to hear him speak, it’s been so long and honestly the deep vibration of his vocal cords were soothing, husky with a odd element of security. “Who are you?”

The words were a little harsh as the Mandalorian finally notices the added presence, stiffening and taking two steps in front of you. Institutionally protecting the child and yourself. Din almost towers over him, broad shoulders blocking the prince from your peripheral. 

The Prince speaks, claiming his title but Din looks unamused, still standing strong and straight, shoulder widening, slowing his strength. He’s sizing him up, the poor prince is confused, eyes dropping towards your own but Din blocks his way. Overbearing but Din has vowed in silence to himself to always protect you.

“Will you be okay?” The prince asks, unsure of leaving you with the metal man but you nod, giving him a soft smile. “Well It was a pleasure to meet you and your weird friend.”

The giggle that falls from your lips makes Din’s heart thump and chest fill with jealousy, the smile towards the Prince he’s one he’s never seen before. 

***

 Din still ignoring you but every few minutes looks past his shoulder to see if you’re still following. He doesn’t seem to care about the delicious smell of food, or singing of passerby’s, but you do, you keep stopping to look at the flowers, inquire about something to eat but feel suffocated by the Mandalorian. He’s walking so close that he’s practically ontop of you, hips pressed against the back of your own, trying to ignore the feeling of your ass pressed against him but the scowl on your face knocks sense into him.

“You don’t have to watch me.”

“Why? For you can run away again?”

You scoff, hand pressing against the cuirass of the armor trying to push him away. Truly amused by the challenge in his voice, the audacity of a man who didn’t care weather you were alive or dead for the last few days. “I didn’t run away. You been ignoring me for days and then scare away the first person who wanted to talk to me. Why do you care?”

The Mandalorian’s mouth drops behind the helmet, words trapped behind his teeth, they’re fumbling on the tip of his tongue, an apology so close but he can’t help but notice you’re looking past his shoulder now, brows moving closer in concentration and then widening but before he can manage to turn around to see you tackle him to the ground.

A large spray of blaster shots kick the dirt up from around you, curling yourself deeper into Din but laying across him, using your own body to shield him. Eyes squeezed so tight expecting pain and blood but nothing comes. It only last a few more seconds before the loud boom fills your ears, the smell of gun powder and heat fill your entire body and the shooter drops dead a few feet away. The source is right next to you, one of Din’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist, the other extended and gripping the just fired blaster. 

There’s a moment of silence as everyone around starts to look up, realizing the gun fire is gone. Low chatter followed by heavy breaths, even your own chest betrays you. Din’s eyes never leave your own, pants cracked with static as his throat feels dry.

“Why did you do that?” The Mandalorian’s hands grip your face, don’t allow you to move from the captivating reflection of yourself in the helmet. Still on top of him but now he pulls you into his lap, a deep sigh racks his body. The orange tips of his glove shape against the outline of your jaw, keep your eyes on what you can only guess is his own. They’re gentle, applying just enough pressure to keep you up right. 

One set of fingers rub the bumpy surface of your cheek bones, it’s gentle, savoring every moment of it. His chest falling and raising with faltering adrenaline but swelling with emotion.

Small tears pick his eyes, he can’t seem to care about the yelling and chaos that surrounds you, he leans closer, forehead pressing against your own. “Why did you do that? You could have gotten hurt - that was st -.”

He wants to finish the sentence but can’t seem to. It’s not stupid, it was incredibly dangerous, selfless but the action on it’s own filled him with such warmth and so many unsaid words. Never, ever has anyone risk their lives for his own. He’s speechless, can’t form words as the ball of emotion grows inside his throat, so big it barely allows air to pass through.

It’s so sudden you’re stunned when it happens, the rush of air from the force of his arms wrapping around your waist. He sits up, but it’s only to pull you closer into him until your head rests against his chest. Now it’s your turn to stop breathing, hearing your heart pound in your ears but still managing to hear the cracked gasp that falls from the helmet. His chest is moving to fast, the rise and fall abnormally pressing against your cheek. Fingers clutch his forearm, rubbing soothing circles as you try to ask him if he’s alright, the reason for his tears but he doesn’t allow you to. “Never ever do that again.”

“Din -.”

“Promise me, please. Never, ever do something like that again.”

He’s so suddenly filled with so much guilt, the look on your face when he walked away from your long night of crying is seared in his brain. Even now he feels guilty, it racks his body, makes his hold tighter as one hand comes to rub the soft strands of your hair. “Promise me.” 

He suddenly can’t think of anything else except for how absolutely breath taking you are, and how this planet could be named his favorite just by the way it so generously let’s the natural light shine against your skin. He’s a complete mess, shoulders protruding forward, back starting to ache from being the man base of support for holding you and him up, no matter how much he tried to squeeze his eyes shut, blink away the tears he can’t help as they slide past eyelashes.

You notice almost instantly, he sees they way your hand outstretches to feel the points of the helmet. In that very moment, under the scrutiny of those eyes he feels three words touch his tongue, he’s leaning forward into your touch, mouth opening to finally say them but the bewildered, pure panic that widens your eyes has him looking around impending danger he’s too distracted to notice.

Just like that the both of you click, Din letting out a worried gasp. “Grogu.”

As if there wasn’t any other reason to feel like a terrible person already, he was so distracted by you, finally allowing you to peal back the layers and layers he’s built but forgetting his soon after an all out gun fire was pretty low on even his list. To be fair though, the way you looked at him was almost sinful, it would be a crime to look away.

The Mandalorian’s gentle fingers lift your thighs, helping you stand as he quickly stalks away, the child’s name break through the static, low and horse, no doubt trying to swallow the ball that made it so hard to even talk. He’s not injury, both of you know this. He’s a baby, lacks a little common sense but one of the smartest creatures you’ve ever met.

No doubt he sensed the danger, no wonder why he was so fussy. He most likely ran for cover to avoid the blaster shots. With wobbly legs you stand, using the stall next to you for support but the Mandalorian’s hand against the small of your back steadies you, the small child cooing from his fathers arm’s. 

Almost as quick as the night he found you crying, he turns his back to you, heart dropping at the sudden coldness almost identical to the temperature of his shiny beskar. Small, unwanted tears gather in the corner of your eyes, just like that he was back to hating you, possibly ignore your presence for another week or so.

A smooth gush of air follows as he turns to face you, heart skipping in your chest as the shadow of his visor meets your gaze. Pushing Grogu closer to his chest. Mouth dropping in surprise as he extends his other, hand opening for your own.

“Let’s go home, Cyare.” He doesn’t give you much of a choice as he steps closer to fill the gaps between his fingers with your own. They trip back to the ship is quiet, not uncomfortable but clearly the both of you have a lot on your minds.

***

No one says a word, nightfall kisses the horizon by the time you return. Convinced nothing could calm the irregular pattern of your pounding heart, the heat on your cheeks never leaving, a reminder every time you look down and see your entangled fingers. 

Once on the ship, he’s still silent, not daring to speak as he puts the child down and retreats to the cockpit, once the ship is up and out of the atmosphere you half expect him be dismissive again, spend the rest of the trip in the cockpit but instead are filled with surprise as the lights of hull flicker off. Instantly reaching out to find something to steady yourself on but instead strong, large arms wrap around you. They keep you grounded, steady as your eyes widen. The Mandalorian’s hot breath fanning your face, the ghost of his lips at the shell of your ear. “Easy, easy, it’s just me.”

Standing in complete silence, all breath void with fears it might scare him away. You’re so caught up in the heat of his breath against your face, so close to your lips which he never allowed himself to touch that the realization of his helmet being off almost sends you onto your ass, grabbing his sleeves to stand up straight. 

Finally you can’t take it anymore, hands softly running over the smoothness of his jaw, coarse hairs of the patchy beard followed by the fly away hairs just above his lips, then to form over the soft flesh of his cupid shaped lips. This causes the Mandalorian to stiffen, a long breath parting his lips as he pulls you closer, stepping back until he falls onto the cot, bringing you down with him to straddle his lap.

Without thinking you start to lean in, the Mandalorian feeling the force of your body lifting up but turn his head for you feel the corner of his lip, the bluntness of the kiss against his cheek. This makes your skin on fire, embarrassed as your try to move away but the grip on your thighs doesn’t allow you to.

“I’ve never kissed someone before.” He admits lowly, just above a whisper trying to save you the embarrassment.  The soft oh that falls from your lips is panicked as you try to pull the touch away but the Mandalorian is too quick, his palm squeezes your fingers, pulling them back to cup his cheek and nuzzling into it. 

“We don’t have to Din, I should’ve asked.”

“No, no, I want to kiss you sweet girl.” The nickname alone is enough to have you melting into a puddle, knees weak and buckling but lucky for you, Din holds you up right. “I just don’t want to mess it up.”

Staying silent, not daring to move but instead allow Din to take his time, experiment as he starts to lean closer and do it on his own time. 

Time felt like it almost stopped when his nose nudged your own, lips barely touching, hovering as he lets out a soft sigh, leaning closer until you feel his eyelashes flutter against your own. He’s so gentle as his lips finally meet yours, only being able to focus on how soft they were against his own.

Every breath he took smelt like you, wild flowers and vanilla as his lips shape against your own. Whole body tingling as he pulls you closer against him, giving him a better angle to kiss you at, he pulled away for just a second, catching his breath before claiming your mouth again. Filled with emotion, heavy and soft as his tongue slips past your lips.

You’re so caught up in the way he feels you don’t notice the fingers that slip under your shirt, feeling the soft flesh of his skin. A soft moan falling from his parted lips as you shift on his lap.

tags: @coonflix, @mudhornchronicles,  @kaermorons  @winter-rxn  @carlygrayson  @naturalswifty89  @Curiouskeyboard   @idjitdestiel  @tossacoin2yourwitcher @victias,  @altarsw ,  @nikkixostan  , @moonlightnumbsthepainifeel,  @est19xxshit , @owloveyounever , @engie115@dinsbeskar,  @akatasukilove ,  @nerdalert-andi , @mailee420 , @you-and-i-deserve-the-world, @thatonedindjarinfan,  @Sporadicshoebailifffish,  @coldlilheart,  @starsvck,  @agirlinherhead,  @lokismidnight,  @expellopatronum,  @dinschutta , @queenbbarnes, @ironbabey,  @i-ship-it-ironically, @coonflix, @ilikemymendarkandfictional, @maileecabudal,  @buckysalefty, @fangirlmendes, @godohammers, @mermaidbrina, @capsheadquaters,  @i-ship-it-ironically  

@dinsbeskar

[pretend-writer]

Better Than Revenge (Hargreeves x sibling!reader)

Summary: Y/N’s boyfriend broke up with her unexpectedly and the Hargreeves goes and finds out the truth. 

Pairing: Hargreeves x sibling!reader

Title Reference: Better Than Revenge x Taylor Swift

Word Count: 2.1k words

Warning: swearing, violence

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It was all so sudden, I thought that me and him were alright. We've just got back from a trip couple of days ago, taking cute couple pictures and posting it on social media.

Every night, he told me that he loved me and he would never let me go. It took us hours to even hop out of the hotel bed because he would want to cuddle with me all morning. All the love he shared that I thought was genuine didn't mean anything to him.

Was a blind? Was I too naive? Should I have known me and him were in a fake relationship this whole time? Did I waste a year and a half of my life thinking that he loved me? I didn't know what was real anymore.

The only truth that came out of this was that my boyfriend and I were over with. Everything else was a blur.

'Y/N?' Allison tapped me on my shoulder. 'Are you coming inside?'

I've been in my head all day since I got the breakup text from my boyfriend, I totally forgot that I was outside sitting next to Ben's memorial statue.

As I continued to stare at the ground, I shook my head. 'No, thanks.'

'It's about to rain, you should come inside.' Allison still sat beside me even with the complicated weather outside, concerned as she knew something was wrong with her sister. 'What's wrong?'

'You know the best days of my life was supposed to be this trip with my boyfriend?' I slightly chuckled, feeling stupid about myself as I said those words at loud. 'Turns out I was wrong.'

'What did John do?'

I bit my lips and sighed; I couldn't even blame him really. 'It's all my fault. For believing that this was all true, for thinking that he was happy with the relationship. I'm so fucking stupid.'

'What did he say to you?'

'He said enough.'

Allison quickly stood up and left my side. 'I'll be inside, come join me soon okay?'

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Allison POV; 

The things that Y/N said hit a nerve. I already knew something was not right with the relationship. There was always something off with John but I figured if Y/N trusted him, I should too.

I've should've trusted my guts.

It was one thing to hurt my sister's feelings but to make Y/N sad to a point where she sat in the rain made me very upset and angry.

Y/N was the cheeriest one out of the bunch, constantly making us smile when we're down. Her smile was how we all got through the day, especially during our childhood with our so-called father.

It always took a lot for her to get mad or upset about anything. This already proved that John had something to hide and I would do anything to find out what was going on with his life.

I didn't want to leave Y/N alone under the dark, gray clouds but she seemed as though she was not going anywhere at all. I gave a kiss on the top of head before I walked back into the building.

'What's wrong with her?' Diego peeked through the window, watching Y/N leaning next to Ben's statue.

'John broke up with her and I'm going to find out exactly why.' I flared my nose, infuriated about this situation between my sister and her ex-boyfriend.

Diego furrowed his eyebrows, confused about everything. 'W-wait, John and her broke up? Didn't they just come back from their cute little trip?'

'He's a fucking liar is what it is. I swe-'

'Allison, are you sure he's a prick?' Diego tried to be civil which I completely understood but something about my instincts told me otherwise. 'We have zero proof of why this man broke up with Y/N.'

'That's what I'm trying to find out. I just don't trust him. It doesn't make any sense at all.' I rolled my eyes, taking a deep breath. 'You can watch Y/N while I go do some digging.'

Diego chuckled, 'Are you kidding me? I'm coming with you. Let's expose this man.'

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Diego POV;

Luther, Vanya and Five were left with Y/N at home to make sure she was comfortable and feeling better. We also had to be extra careful about Y/N finding out about us stalking her old boyfriend.

If Y/N even got a hint about me, Klaus and Allison's whereabouts, her emotions will get the best of her and she will not hesitate to use her ultrasonic scream to try to get to us.

Y/N was the most level headed out of all the Hargreeves but her number one pet peeve was people digging through private lives. Her finding out the truth especially in the fragile state she was in would ruin us.

And seeing her hatred towards paparazzi and the way she fought them off on her off days as Number Eight, I would never want to be Y/N's enemy.

Which was why Allison, Klaus and I, the mouthy triggering siblings had to leave the house. Klaus and I privately argued that Five should've been with us but with his smart mouth, we knew he was going to use his "genius brain" as an excuse to stay and distract Y/N.

Klaus didn't like that, given the fact that Y/N and him were tight like glue. But everyone knew that Klaus was the number one person that needed to leave the house.

'Why can't I stay with Y/N?' Klaus whined, 'You know I suck at these investigating type missions. I could be a great caregiver to our sweet sister. I would give her some warm tea-'

'We haven't even pulled over to John's house and you're already running your mouth. That's why.' I turned around toward Klaus who was laying down in the back of the car as Allison drove my car. 'You'd be the first one to tell Y/N our secret and we can't risk that, dude.'

Allison looked at our brother from the mirror, smiling. 'Don't worry Klaus, she will be fine. I promise.'

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Klaus POV;

The car suddenly stopped moving, Allison and Diego unbuckled their seatbelts. Ben, who was squished to the side where my legs rested rolled his eyes. 'You could've saved me some space for me to sit.'

'You're a ghost, why does it matter?' I replied back to him, I didn't think that he'd cramp up while I laid down in the back. 'Besides, my legs were on your lap so you should be fine.'

'Who are you talking to?' Diego asked me as he watched me get out of the car.

'Nobody.'

Ben yelled, just like he always does whenever I claim that I talk to myself. He had to realize we were here for Y/N, Ben can have his moment to shine some other time.

Diego, Ben and I followed Allison into John's house. Y/N used to bring Allison and I here often to hang out with John, we knew where he hid his spare key.

'Let's split up and look for some clues. It's got to be in here somewhere.' Allison mumbled, walking upstairs.

'Psst, Klaus!' Diego pointed behind him, 'You want to partner up? Maybe if we do it together it'll be faster.'

'Why are you whispering? The man isn't even here.' I chuckled at my brother, 'I think working together would take more time.'

Diego hissed, 'Fine! Be that way and go with your imaginary friend.'

'Why are you so upset? You really love me, don't you Diego?'

He pulled out his knife, looking at me intensely without saying any word. I knew Diego was sensitive but I didn't think that would trigger him to throw a knife at my face.

'I'm sorr-' before I was able to finish my apology, Diego struck his knife next to my head, hearing a loud groan from behind.

'Allison! I got him!' Diego shouted as he quickly got up and ran past me. I turned around and saw John lying on the ground, holding his shoulder in pain.

'What are you crazy fuckers doing here.' John winched.

Diego pulled the knife out of him, wiping the blood off with John's shirt before he put it back on his harness. 'Given the circumstances, I do not appreciate your tone dude.'

'See, I knew you Hargreeves were crazy. I don't know how I put up with you and your sister for nearly two years.'

'Now that's when you stop talking.' Diego stuck his finger into his knife wound, making John scream louder than he was before. 'I'm telling you, shut the fuck up before we do more harm.'

'Okay, okay!' John yelled, still grabbing onto his shoulder. All I could think about was how infected his shoulder was going to be after all this mess.

As I stared at John's wound, I went back to thinking about my poor sister. 'Why did you break up with Y/N?'

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Y/N’s POV; 

'Rock, paper, scissors, shoot.' Luther and Vanya said in sync. They have been at it for about an hour now, I've never seen two human beings intrigued in this boring game before.

Five just stared at them with an angry face like always, all he has been doing was mumbling to himself and complaining about something I couldn't hear from here.

'What are you guys doing exactly?' I questioned my brothers and sister that has been in the living room with me for over an hour doing nothing.

At first it was odd that they were sitting with me, quiet and not saying a word but I didn't question anything. Now it was weird of them to be here as if they were keeping an eye on me.

'Just keeping you company.' Luther grinned, 'Do you need anything?'

'No, thanks.' I gave him a soft smile, asking an additional question. 'Did Allison say anything to you guys?'

I was in such an emotional state, I blurted the end of my relationship to Allison without thinking of anything. What happened between me and John was over, clearly over and if he wanted that I couldn't say no.

Knowing how overprotective Allison can get of me, I was worried what trouble she got herself into. I hoped she wasn't doing what I thought she might be doing.

'Nope, nothing.' Five, Luther and Vanya all said in the same tone.

'Y/N!' I heard Klaus screaming from the front door, rushing inside to come see me. 'He's a fucking dickhead!'

'Who?' I asked Klaus as he was trying to catch a breath, leaning into the couch to rest.

'Your fucking boyfriend, that's who.' Diego walked in right behind Klaus, anger flushed all over his face.

Allison rolled her eyes, hitting Diego's shoulder while standing next to him. 'You don't have to say it like that, geez.'

'What did you guys find at his house?' Luther asked.

'At his hou-' I looked at the three of them, confused. 'What did you guys do?'

'While Vanya, Luther and I were here distracting you Klaus, Allison and Diego went to John's house to find clues as to why he broke up with you.' Five summarized, with a big smirk on his face.

My eye shifted towards Allison, slowly shaking my head. 'You know how I feel about this.'

'Hear me out, okay? He-'

Diego cut Allison off, 'He had a ultrasound picture in his hand Y/N. John is a fucking asshole and I was so close to punchin-'

'He what?' Luther yelled, immediately standing up and towering over everybody. 'Where is he right now?'

'Laying down on his living room floor because Diego threw a knife through his shoulder.' Klaus added.

'Y/N, I'm so sorry okay? But I had to go see for myself and you being sad is the last thing I want to see.' Allison took a step closer to me. 'You we're blaming yourself about this breakup and I didn't want you to do that. That's why I went.'

There were no words left to say; I felt angry, sad, disappointed that my boyfriend of almost two years had a different girl the whole time. John was even about to have a family with some other woman.

I clenched my first as I thought about John, the more flashbacks I had of our "happy times" the angrier I got.

My siblings started to notice the change of my expressions. Klaus' eyes widened, 'Are you okay Y/N?'

'Come on guys, let's go get him.' I took my jacket from the couch, quickly putting them on as I walked towards the front door. All my siblings started to cheer as they walked next to me, Diego and Klaus hugging me from each side.

'Let's get this son of a bitch!' Diego screamed with his fist in the air.

[marinette-the-clarinet]

Some people in this fandom need to go outside for a little bit, take a whiff of the roses, get some coffee, I don’t know, because holy moly, the stuff they��re (on multiple platforms) wishing on Alya is messed up. Such as: Hoping that her memory gets wiped and she forgets about Marinette and the miraculous, searching for any “proof” that Alya is going to betray Marinette in the end (to the point that some are even using cultural connotations surrounding foxes as “evidence”, even though different cultures have different connatations), hoping that Nino breaks up with her because of the permanent miraculous thing (Nino Lahiffe? Breaking up with her over a secret that’s not even her’s to share? They slander this man’s name), saying that she’s the villain that was hinted at and was confirmed to come from Season 1 (which, I believe, was already confirmed to be Lila), hoping that she makes a mistake so big that Marinette regrets her choice (often leads back into the memory wiping theory) and tells Chat instead, and one that I’ve seen become more prominent (mostly on Instagram, but I’ve seen it rear its head here, too) is people saying that Alya’s suspicious and should be abandoned as an ally. Some people are saying they hate her (heck, Marinette too, for that matter!) because of Chat not meeting their screentime quotas. Guys, for the love of all things good, can we leave this teenager alone? She’s literally just trying to be the best ally and friend to Marinette as she can be. She’s gonna make mistakes, as every character has and will, but the fact that some people believe she should be subjected to some kind of punishment for said mistakes (or lack thereof, in regards to Chat, which is not her fault in the slightest) is genuinely anxiety-inducing. Speculation and analysis is fine, but the amount of attention given to the idea that Alya is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and intending to exert ill-will against Marinette is so unfair and messed up.

Go off!!!!!! Spread this shit because I am TIRED of it! You said a lot of great points so I'm gonna add to them in support :)

1. Hoping her memory gets wiped? That is beyond fucked up because then that means Marinette goes back to having no support in her life and she's all alone again. If this is so Adrien can be the first one to know or whatever, then that's also stupid. Does the white boy really need to be the savior here?

2. People will seek any sort of evidence to prove a character is bad when they decide to not like them. They're doing this shit with Zoé too which is fucking annoying. Hate on a character all you want because you're entitled to be wrong to have an opinion, but don't go around trying to find things that are straight up not true about someone. Also the fox miraculous being your proof of deceit and betrayal? Are you stupid? The miraculous someone has doesn't define who they are. Remember how the butterfly and peacock are supposed to be used for good?

3. Nino Lahiffe would never. I am sure there might be a struggle between the two because of the secrets, but that is completely normal for a couple and is good for their development. Nothing can actually break up DJWifi, they're too powerful.

4. Lmao the new villain was Shadowmoth everyone. It was Shadowmoth. Nobody is sus right now.

5. You can tell which fans watch this show for the cute white blonde catboy and not for the lessons of women empowerment and girls sticking together to fight evil. Chat Noir/Adrien is a wonderful character and great example of how men should treat women, but goddamn if you can't stomach the show because he's not on screen all the time, then I don't understand why you watched it in the first place. Face the facts people: Adrien is not the main character. Marinette is. This is a show for girls about girls being awesome badasses.

I'm sick and tired of this because I have grown up not being interested in anything superhero/action related since I had no connection to the male main characters who got all the screen time. This is the only show I've been able to enjoy because of all the female characters representing amazing things for all women. Just let us have this, and let Alya be that representation instead of shitting on her character for the stupidest reason ever. Grow up.