#which is tbh always a stupid beat

[inseobts]

Captain

characters: luffy, law, shanks, kid and ace

inspired by: 'Captain' - Kang Seungyoon || spotify || youtube || apple music

a/n: hope this doesn't suck tbh

words count: around 1.0k - 1.5k each

masterlist || ao3 || ko-fi

── .✦ Luffy:

The sun is hot on your back as you lean over the Sunny’s railing. Waves crash below, sparkling like tiny stars in the ocean.

You sigh, but it’s not a sad sigh, just… tired.

Luffy’s jacket hangs off your shoulders, far too big, smelling faintly of salt and him. He’d dropped it on you earlier without a word, like he always did. Just something that happened now, the way you always saved the last bite of your food for him, or how he tucked your hair behind your ear when you weren’t paying attention.

“Oi! You’re making a weird face!”

You jump a little, turning around fast.

Luffy’s standing behind you, hands on his hips, grinning like he knows something you don’t. Which he usually does.

“I am not” you say.

“You are” he says “That’s your thinking-too-much face. I don’t like that one.”

You squint at him “You don’t like my face?”

Luffy laughs and walks up, grabbing your hand “Nah. I like your laughing face way better.”

Your heart does that stupid flip again. Luffy is always like this… saying small, silly things that hit you like cannonballs. You wonder if he even realizes what they do to you, or if he just lives like this, naturally, saying the exact thing you need to hear without trying.

He tugs your arm “Come eat meat with me.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You will be when you see Sanji’s new meatball thing. He said he made it just for me. That means it’s good.”

You don’t want to argue, so you follow him. His hand stays in yours as you walk. He doesn’t look at you, doesn’t even think about it, like holding your hand is the most natural thing in the world.

And maybe it is. Maybe with him, all the strange, lovely things you thought you'd never have just… are.

The kitchen is loud. Usopp and Chopper are arguing about who can eat more. Sanji is yelling at Zoro to stop drinking straight from the soup pot. Nami rolls her eyes at everything. And through it all, Luffy’s hand stays in yours until he lets go just to sit.

Luffy sits down at the table and pats the spot next to him “Here. Sit.”

You sit.

Sanji brings over a plate with a small mountain of meatballs.

“Special recipe” he says, setting it down.

“Only for idiots who eat too fast and the people dumb enough to love them.”

“Yay!” Luffy cheers “That’s me!”

You raise an eyebrow at Sanji. He just smirks and walks off.

Luffy hands you a meatball. You take it. You chew slowly. He doesn’t. He shovels in three at once and nearly chokes. You thump his back.

“Maybe you shouldn’t eat too fast” you say.

“Too good,” he says between bites “Can’t stop.”

You laugh a little. He grins at you with his mouth full, face messy, eyes shining.

And somehow, in that moment, you feel more at home than you’ve ever felt on land. You bump your foot lightly against his under the table and don’t pull it away. He nudges back without missing a beat.

Later, when everyone’s tired and full, and the stars are peeking out, Luffy sits on the deck with you again. He lies down and folds his arms behind his head.

“Did you still have the weird face?”

“No” you say softly.

“Good.”

There’s a pause. The wind is gentle tonight. Your fingers inch toward his on the wooden deck until they touch. He doesn’t say anything, just shifts his pinky so it loops around yours.

You look at him and wonder if he knows. If he knows how much he saved you. If he knows that before this ship, before him, life felt so small.

“You’re thinking again” he says without opening his eyes.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be your captain forever, y’know.”

You blink “What?”

Luffy opens one eye and smiles at you.

“Even if you leave the crew. Even if you fly away like a bird. I’ll still be your captain. Okay?”

Your throat feels tight. You don’t say anything. You just nod and lie down next to him.

The stars look different from here. Brighter. Bigger.

Just like everything since you met him.

That night you have a nightmare... you often dream of fire.

It’s not real, not anymore. But the smoke curls around your chest when you wake up, and your heart races like you’re still running.

You sit up fast, hand on your chest. You're sweating.

The bed is warm beside you, a tangle of blankets and the faint imprint of Luffy’s sleeping form. He must’ve gone when he felt you stir.

Outside, the sea is calm. The ship creaks gently like it’s breathing.

You step outside the bedroom, careful not to wake anyone. The deck is dark, quiet. The kind of quiet that feels too loud when you’re carrying a storm inside.

You lean on the railing, gripping it hard. Trying to stop your hands from shaking.

You don’t hear Luffy approach. You never do.

“Bad dream?” he says softly.

You nod.

He doesn’t ask more. He just sits beside you on the wooden deck, cross-legged like a kid.

You look at him. He’s staring out at the ocean.

You whisper, “I wasn’t a good person before this. I did some things... things I can’t forget.”

Luffy shrugs “That’s okay.”

You blink “Okay?”

“You’re good now.”

Your breath catches “But—”

“I don’t care what you did. I care what you do now. You protect people. You laugh with us. You love this ship.”

You bite your lip “Sometimes I think I don’t deserve to be happy.”

Luffy’s head tilts “Why?”

“Because I hurt people. I made bad choices.”

He frowns, serious now “Everyone hurts people. Even me. You ever see me not punch someone?”

“That’s different.”

“Why?” he says “Because I’m the captain?”

You open your mouth, then close it.

He scoots closer, his leg bumping yours “Listen. I don’t pick people because they’re perfect. I pick people who need a place. You needed one. So I gave you mine.”

Your eyes sting.

“And if you’re scared sometimes... that’s fine. I’ll be scared with you.”

You let out a shaky laugh “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Luffy grins “Thanks.”

Then he does something rare.

He reaches out and pulls you into a hug.

It’s warm and a little awkward, his chin bumps your shoulder, but his arms are strong. Solid.

Safe.

You lean into him, just for a second. Just long enough to feel like maybe… maybe you can breathe again.

“I still got you,” he says “No matter what.”

The next morning, you’re quiet at breakfast.

Not sad, just full in a way that makes your chest feel warm. Luffy sits beside you like always, stealing half your toast without asking.

You don’t stop him. You just shake your head like you always do and let your knee rest against his under the table.

“Oi, Luffy, chew!” Sanji shouts from the stove “Don’t scare them off with your lizard face.”

Luffy puffs out his cheeks “I am chewing!”

You shake your head “Barely.”

He grins at you with crumbs on his lips “You finally smiled.”

“Huh?”

“You smiled at me,” he says, like it’s some great discovery “I like that.”

You feel your cheeks heat up.

Chopper climbs onto the bench next to you “You look different today,” he says thoughtfully “Lighter.”

“Maybe you finally slept” Nami adds, sipping her coffee.

“Maybe someone got a good hug last night...” Usopp says, wiggling his eyebrows.

You nearly choke on your juice.

Luffy doesn’t react “I give good hugs.”

Zoro snorts from across the table “Not with those rubbery arms.”

You stare down at your plate, smiling to yourself.

Later, you’re helping Robin tie down books in the library when Luffy finds you again. He peeks in like a kid looking for snacks.

“There you are!” he says “Come with me.”

You follow him without asking where. That’s just how it is with Luffy. You trust him.

He takes you to the upper deck where it’s quieter. The sea stretches out endlessly, sky blue and soft.

He sits on the edge and pats the spot next to him. You sit.

“I was thinking,” he says, picking at the brim of his hat “About last night.”

You look at him, curious.

“You said you didn’t deserve to be happy.”

Your chest tightens again.

He leans back on his hands “But you look happy now.”

You nod slowly “I am.”

He grins “Told you. I’m a good captain.”

You laugh a little “You are.”

Then, softly, you say it “This happiness I have right now… it was gained simply by listening to you and following your lead.”

Luffy tilts his head, eyes wide and bright “Really?”

You nod “You gave me a place. You didn’t even know me, and you still let me stay.”

“I knew enough,” he says “You were lost. I don’t leave lost people behind.”

You look down, fiddling with the seam of your shirt “I think I was scared to feel like this. Like I belong.”

“You do.”

You glance up. His face is open, honest—Luffy in his rare, still moments.

“You really think I belong here?” you whisper.

He nods “You belong with me.”

Your breath catches.

Not “with the crew”.

Not “on the ship”.

With him.

── .✦ Law:

The storm isn’t just outside.

It’s in the way Law walks the deck—slow, sharp steps, as if each one might cut the wood beneath his feet.

You watch from where you sit near the stairs, arms tucked around your knees. He hasn’t spoken in hours.

The sky above is black. Thunder grumbles like it’s trying to decide if it wants to scream.

He doesn’t flinch.

“Go inside” he says suddenly, without looking at you.

You stay where you are.

“I said—”

“I heard you.”

Silence again.

Then: “The wind’s picking up.”

“I’m fine.”

He turns his head just enough to glance at you, eyes narrowing “You’re stubborn.”

You shrug “You’re angry.”

“I’m thinking.”

“Loudly.”

He exhales through his nose—one of those short, sharp sounds that’s not quite a laugh, not quite a sigh.

You unfold your legs and stand, walking slowly until you’re beside him. Close, but not touching.

Close enough to feel the heat of him. Close enough that if you leaned in just slightly, your shoulder would brush his. But you don’t. Not yet.

“Is it about the intel?”

“No.”

“Then it’s about the crew.”

“No.”

“Then it’s about you.”

He says nothing.

The waves crash hard against the hull. Somewhere below deck, Bepo is probably pacing, waiting for the worst of the storm to pass.

But Law… Law doesn’t wait for anything. He carries storms inside him and tries to outpace them with silence.

You speak softly “Be at ease.”

He turns to look at you now, not annoyed, just… tired.

Your hand drifts to his arm, fingers barely grazing the fabric of his sleeve. You step in, gently, like approaching a wild thing. Like you’ve done this before—offering comfort without taking anything away.

“Let me watch your back now,” you continue, voice steady “My captain.”

His eyes search your face like he’s reading something in a language he forgot long ago.

“I don’t need—”

“I know.”

You take a step closer, your fingers brushing his coat sleeve.

“I’m not offering because you need it. I’m offering because you deserve it.”

His jaw tightens.

You shift your hand just enough to slide your fingers into his, letting them rest there—quiet and warm.

“Someone has to carry the weight when you can’t,” you add “Let it be me, even if it’s just tonight.”

For a long time, he doesn’t respond.

Then finally, he murmurs, “You talk too much.”

You smile “And yet you’re still listening.”

He doesn’t smile back but his shoulders drop, just slightly. And when the next gust of wind hits, he doesn’t flinch.

Because you’re there.

Because someone’s finally watching his back.

You lean in and press a kiss to his shoulder, not dramatic, just grounding. A promise. You feel him shift slightly toward you, almost imperceptibly.

The storm passes, but the cold stays.

You and Law sit under the overhang near the helm, out of the rain but not the wind. The ship creaks with each wave, but now it’s calmer. The kind of quiet that always feels like something is waiting.

He hasn’t spoken since you told him you’d watch his back.

But he’s still here.

You’re still here.

And that’s something.

You let your head rest lightly against his shoulder. His arm doesn’t move for a long moment, then slowly, tentatively, he curls it behind you, just enough that your bodies lean into one another.

“I thought you’d leave” he says at last, voice low.

You glance at him “When?”

“After Dressrosa. After the Doflamingo fight. Most people would’ve.”

“I’m not most people.”

He makes a soft sound in his throat, something between agreement and disbelief.

Then he says it.

“I didn’t expect you to stay this long.”

You blink “Did you want me to go?”

“No” he says too quickly. Then quieter “I just thought you would.”

You wrap your arms around your knees, watching the wet deck glisten under the moonlight.

“People leave you a lot, don’t they?”

He doesn’t answer.

You don’t need him to.

You reach over and take his hand again, threading your fingers through his with the same steady warmth you always give him. Your thumb traces soft circles over the back of his hand.

You take a slow breath and shift to face him more fully.

“You don’t always have to be the one doing the saving, Law.”

His head tilts, just slightly.

You lean forward but not too close, just enough to be clear.

“I’ll protect you now.”

The wind blows your hair into your face. You don’t move it.

He’s staring at you like he doesn’t understand the words. Like no one’s ever said them to him before and meant it.

“You think I need protection?” he asks, but there’s no bite in it. No challenge.

You smile “I think you’re tired of carrying everything alone.”

For a second, just a second, his expression softens.

Not in a dramatic way. Not like in the stories.

But his eyes lose that sharp edge.

He leans back against the wood behind him, shoulders dropping just a bit more than before. As if, maybe, he’s letting the idea settle.

Letting you settle.

You shift closer again and kiss his cheek, soft and slow, just near the corner of his mouth. He closes his eyes like he’s soaking in the quiet.

You don’t push it. You just sit with him, in the silence, your presence a quiet promise:

He’s not alone anymore.

The cold settles around you both like a second skin, but here, pressed close, there’s a different kind of warmth.

You lean into him slowly, head resting against his chest this time, right where you can hear his heartbeat. At first, he’s stiff. Not resisting, but still wired tight, like his body doesn’t quite remember how to relax.

You wrap your arms around his middle, pulling him into a soft, secure hold.

He lets out a breath against your hair. It’s quiet. Almost disbelieving.

“You don’t have to be alone anymore,” you murmur into his coat “Not with me.”

You feel it when something in him finally begins to loosen. Not all at once. Not dramatically. But like a knot unspooling deep inside.

His hand comes up, hesitant at first, then rests on the back of your head. His fingers thread gently into your hair, and you close your eyes at the feeling.

He doesn’t speak.

You tilt your face up toward him.

His gaze meets yours, wary, but no longer guarded. He’s let you in. At least a little. Enough.

You smile softly “Come here.”

And before he can argue, before he can overthink it, you press your lips to his.

One kiss.

Then another. Then another.

Soft and fast, like raindrops. Like a flurry of promises falling out of you all at once, impossible to hold back.

You kiss the corner of his mouth, his top lip, the edge of his jaw, then back to his mouth again.

With each kiss, you whisper:

“I will protect you now”

“My boss”

“My leader”

“My hero”

“My captain”

“My love.”

And something in him just… gives.

His breath hitches. His hands tighten around you, not pulling you away, but drawing you in. Letting you have him like this.

He exhales like surrender. His voice is barely above a whisper.

“…Fine. Do whatever you want.”

You press your forehead to his, smiling against his skin.

“I already am.”

And he doesn’t push you away. He doesn’t retreat behind silence.

He stays.

Wrapped up in your arms. Your warmth. Your words. Your kisses.

For once, Law lets himself be held.

── .✦ Shanks:

The first time you see him, it’s not on purpose.

You’re in a quiet port town, just passing through. Hiding, really. The kind of hiding that doesn’t involve running, it just means standing still long enough for the world to forget you.

Then the bar door opens.

And he walks in like he owns the ocean.

Red hair. Wide grin. A laugh that fills the room before he even speaks.

“Oi, Benn! I told you I could smell meat from a mile off!”

You glance up once and then away. You know who he is. Of course you do. Red-Haired Shanks. One of the Four Emperors. A name that carries storms.

You sip your drink and try not to look again.

It doesn’t work.

He notices.

You end up at the same table, somehow. He’s charming like that, pulls people in like the tide.

“What’s your story?” he asks casually, swirling his drink.

You shake your head “No story.”

“Everyone has one.”

“Not me.”

He smiles “You’re a terrible liar.”

You laugh despite yourself. It’s small. But he hears it.

“You’ve been drifting,” he says “I can tell.”

You pause “That obvious?”

He shrugs “Only to someone who’s done the same.”

Later, you’re sitting with him by the docks, the sea stretching out like a painting. He’s quieter now. Thoughtful.

You speak without meaning to.

“On a sea called loneliness… I’d come to lose my way.”

He turns toward you slowly, listening.

“My vision was dark. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t even know what I was looking for.”

Shanks doesn’t interrupt.

“But a single sailboat came close.”

He smiles faintly.

“And that happy ending became our story.”

He chuckles under his breath “You’re poetic when you’ve had rum.”

You smile, but it doesn’t fade.

“You’re the first person who didn’t ask me to explain why I left. Or who I used to be.”

“I don’t care who you were,” he says gently “Only who you are when you’re with me.”

The sea breeze lifts your hair. His eyes flick to it, and stay there a moment too long.

You don’t speak again for a while. There’s no need.

Two drifters. One sailboat. And, maybe, the start of something that doesn’t have to end in loneliness.

Years Later

The sun hangs low, golden and lazy, casting soft light across the deck of the Red Force.

Shanks is half-asleep in a chair near the railing, hat pulled down over his eyes. You’re sitting not far, feet propped up, notebook balanced on your knee. You don’t write often, at least not like this, but today feels different.

You glance at him. He’s relaxed, arms crossed loosely, the breeze playing with the hem of his coat.

Years ago, he was chaos walking. A whirlwind with a smile.

Now?

He’s still chaos. But he’s yours.

You smile and press your pen to the page.

“On a sea called L-O-V-E,

The sunlight dazzles as it reflects upon the water.

On that sailboat over there, are two people—

Just a captain and a sailor.

And that happy ending is our story.”

You pause.

Then close the notebook, leave it on the small table beside him, and go below deck. You don’t say anything. You don’t need to.

Later, just before dinner, he finds you in the galley. One arm wraps lazily around your waist from behind, pulling you in.

“I read what you wrote” he murmurs near your ear.

“Oh?”

“It was missing one thing.”

You raise a brow, glancing back at him “Yeah?”

He presses his forehead to yours “The part where the sailor becomes captain of the captain.”

You laugh, soft and full.

“In your dreams maybe” you tease.

“In our story” he corrects, grinning.

You shake your head and kiss him anyway.

It’s meant to be quick, teasing, familiar.

But Shanks doesn’t let go. His hand cups the back of your neck, thumb brushing the edge of your jaw as he kisses you again, slower this time. Deeper. Like he’s been waiting all day for this one quiet moment.

You melt into him. The galley fades, the ship fades, even the sea feels quieter.

When you finally pull apart, your forehead rests against his. Neither of you speaks right away. You don’t need to.

He closes his eye, brushing his nose against yours “You still take my breath away, you know that?”

You smile against his lips “Even when I’m just trying to steal your coat?”

“Especially then.”

He leans back, just enough to reach into his coat pocket and pulls out something small, wrapped in an old cloth. He unwraps it with care, revealing a silver ring etched with faint waves.

“Was gonna wait,” he says softly, “but then I read what you wrote.”

Your breath catches.

“It’s not a proposal, not exactly,” he continues, “but it’s a promise. That whatever seas we sail, whatever storm hits… I’m yours. No matter what.”

You stare at the ring, heart swelling in your chest “Shanks…”

He slides it onto your finger, his touch feather-light “You don’t need to wear it if you don’t want. I just... I just wanted you to have something that says what I can’t always say.”

You take his hand in yours, kissing his knuckles “You already say it. Every time you look at me like I’m not just part of your crew, but like I'm part of you.”

He chuckles, a little unsteady “You are.”

The kiss you give him now isn’t playful. It’s reverent. Grateful. Fierce and fragile all at once.

Afterward, you whisper, “My captain. My anchor.”

He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, then your forehead, murmuring between each one:

“My light. My home. My heart.”

Later, beneath a sky dusted with stars, you lie curled in the hammock together—his coat draped over both your shoulders, his hand resting over yours, thumb absently brushing the ring now on your finger.

He presses a kiss to your temple and murmurs, “I used to chase the horizon. But then I found you.”

You smile into his chest.

“I’ll chase it with you,” you say softly “As long as you want.”

He holds you tighter.

“Forever sounds good to me.”

And with the steady lull of the sea beneath you and the warmth of him around you, you sleep in the safest place you’ve ever known.

── .✦ Kid:

The ship is on fire.

Well, not literally. But that’s what it feels like after the ambush.

Scorched sails. Blood on the deck. Your ribs ache, bruised or maybe cracked, and Killer’s bleeding from his arm, trying to stop Heat from collapsing.

Kid is in the middle of it all, rage and metal, torn coat, growling orders no one can follow fast enough.

“Damn it, where’s WIRE?!”

“Dead if we don’t patch him now!” you shout back, dragging your half-burned jacket off to wrap someone else’s wound.

He doesn’t answer. His jaw is clenched tight, eyes scanning everything like he’s trying to hold the whole crew together with nothing but anger and magnets.

But you’re not afraid.

You’ve seen him like this before. Broken knuckles. Cracked teeth. And still standing. Still fighting.

Still trying.

He doesn’t realize you’re next to him until your hand grabs his shoulder.

“Kid.”

He glances at you, blood across his cheek, chest rising like a storm trying not to explode.

“We’re not dead,” you say “We’re still here.”

He scoffs “Barely.”

You shake your head “You always think surviving means losing.”

“Because it is,” he snarls “Every fight takes something from us.”

“Now just breath” you snap, stepping closer “Look at me.”

His eyes go wide.

You don’t blink.

“I’ll follow you. I’ll follow you ‘til the end of my days.”

The words hit the air like thunder, loud, real, and permanent.

You lift your chin with your biggest smile.

“YES, SIR.”

Something shifts in his face, not softness, not yet. But a crack. A flicker. The kind of look someone gets when they realize they’re not alone.

His voice is low.

“You’re not scared of me?”

You grin.

“I was.”

“And now?”

“I’m yours.”

And for once, Kid doesn’t argue.

He just takes your hand, calloused and shaking, and holds on like it might be the only thing left that doesn’t burn.

The ship’s quiet now.

Not peaceful but quiet. The kind of silence that settles after screaming, after gunfire, after the medics say “He’s gonna make it” and you finally let yourself breathe.

You check on everyone first. Heat’s stable. Killer’s stitches are clean. Wire’s conscious.

Only after you’ve made sure the others are resting you walk down the hall to his door.

It’s half open.

You knock once anyway.

“…It’s open” Kid’s voice grunts from inside.

You step in.

He’s sitting on the edge of his bunk, shirt off, fresh bandages wrapping his torso and arm. His metal hand is still twitching from leftover stress—little sparks crackling at the edges.

He doesn’t look at you at first.

But he doesn’t tell you to leave.

You shut the door and walk over, slow and calm, like approaching a wild thing that might still bite.

“You good?” you ask softly.

“Peachy” he mutters, eyes on the floor.

You eye the bruise on his jaw “Looks like it.”

He grunts, but says nothing more.

You stand there for a few long seconds. Then you exhale, toss your jacket to the side, and without asking, climb onto his lap, straddling him gently.

He stiffens a little “The hell are you—?”

“Shut up.”

He blinks. You settle your weight down, arms looped around his neck, foreheads almost touching.

His breath slows.

“…You’re gonna make me soft” he mutters, voice rough.

“You are soft” you say, brushing his hair back from his face.

He huffs “Right.”

You smile.

Then, quietly, honestly, you speak “My hero.”

His jaw tenses.

“My captain.”

He doesn’t meet your eyes.

“Every day in this world feels like a battle… but you’re the captain who brought me to my victory.”

He looks up at that.

There’s a flicker of pain, disbelief, maybe guilt. He shakes his head.

“We lost.”

You don’t flinch. You bring a hand to his cheek, cupping it firmly.

“We all survived.” You lean in, eyes locked with his “Is it really a loss?”

The words hang between you, heavy and warm.

He stares at you for a long, long moment. Then finally, his voice low, almost gravel, he says “…No.”

You nod.

“Good,” you whisper “Now let me hold you until your stupid brain believes it.”

He lets you.

He even wraps his arms around you, tentative at first, then tight, like maybe you’re the anchor he didn’t know he needed until tonight.

You rest your forehead against his, feeling the tension bleeding out of him inch by inch.

His metal hand settles at your back, warmer than it should be. Steady.

“You always this bossy?” he grumbles, voice low but not annoyed. Almost… fond.

You grin “Only when you’re being dramatic.”

“Dramatic? I got impaled.”

“And still talking,” you say sweetly, brushing your nose against his “Clearly not fatal.”

A quiet sound escapes him, not quite a laugh, but really close. He pulls you closer, jaw pressing to your shoulder, voice muffled against your skin.

“You scare the hell out of me sometimes.”

You smile “Good. Keeps you on your toes.”

You shift slightly, just enough to ghost a kiss across his cheekbone. Then another, soft at the corner of his mouth. Then one more right on his lips, softer and a bit longer.

He exhales, like you’ve stolen all the fire out of him with that one simple touch.

You whisper against his mouth, “I meant what I said.”

“I know.”

“My hero.”

He groans lightly “You’re gonna kill me with that shit.”

“My captain” you say again, this time planting a kiss under his jaw.

“I’ll throw you overboard” he warns half-heartedly, pulling you tighter.

“No you won’t.”

He doesn’t argue.

You rest your head against his chest, listening to the slow thump of his heart, and he buries his fingers in your hair like it’s the only thing grounding him.

“You’re the only thing that makes this worth it” he mumbles after a while.

You grin again, eyes closed “Took you long enough.”

“Shut up.”

You don’t.

You just nuzzle in closer, his warmth surrounding you, his heartbeat steady against yours, and for once, even on a ship held together by bolts and scars and sheer, everything feels unshakably, impossibly whole.

── .✦ Ace:

The waves crash steady against the ship, stars scattered across the sea like someone spilled the sky.

You’re sitting on the edge of the deck, legs swinging over the side, the ocean dark beneath you. Most of the crew’s asleep. Only you and him are still awake.

Ace drops down beside you, barefoot and shirtless, sea breeze ruffling his hair. He smells like smoke and salt and freedom.

"You're gonna fall in one day" he says, nudging your leg with his knee.

You glance over "Then you better be ready to dive in after me. Oh wait, you can't even swim anymore!"

He grins "I'd like to see you try drowning."

You bump your shoulder into his "I did once, remember? Before you even formed this crew... That's how we met."

He goes quiet.

You weren’t joking.

Neither was he, when he dragged you back to the ship half-dead, coughing seawater, chest heaving as he yelled your name like it was the last thing keeping him afloat.

That was the first time he held you like something fragile.

And the first time you knew he’d never let go.

You look out at the sea again "You saved me."

"Hm?"

"Back then. And now. All the time, really."

He leans back on his hands "You act like I’m some hero."

You shake your head "No. You're not a hero."

He laughs "Gee, thanks."

You turn to him, steady “I'm your sailor. You're the captain. You saved me from drifting.”

He blinks. His grin fades, not in a bad way, just... softer. More real.

“I never saved anyone” he says after a second.

“You did, and I'm not talking about that time...” you whisper “You just don't realise it.”

He doesn’t speak, but you feel his hand brush yours, fingers grazing yours like he wants to hold on, but doesn’t know how.

So you do it first.

You intertwine your fingers with his, firm and warm.

“I didn’t follow you ‘cause you saved me that day” you murmur “I followed you ‘cause I finally felt seen.”

He swallows hard.

Then says your name... just your name, but it sounds like a promise.

Not grand. Not dramatic.

Just true.

And that’s all you ever needed.

Years Later

For once, everything’s quiet. No Marines, no missions. Just you, a sleepy harbor, and one very shirtless fire-user leaning against the rail with a half-eaten orange in hand.

You step outside, towel-drying your hair from the bath, and lean beside him.

He grins at you like always, like you’re his favorite sight in the world.

You smirk.

“Hey, Captain.”

Ace groans immediately, tossing the orange peel at your feet.

“You still call me that?” he says, exasperated “It’s been years since I stopped being a captain, Y/N. Drop it already…”

You shrug innocently “But it suits you.”

Before he can roll his eyes harder, you lean in and plant a quick, soft kiss on his lips.

Then whisper, just close enough for him to feel your breath “My boss. My leader. My hero. My captain.”

Ace exhales like you’ve just made his heart do a backflip, but he plays it cool... barely.

“Ugh,” he groans dramatically, gently pushing your face away with one hand “Can’t you just be a cute lover and call me… I don’t know, boyfriend? Honey? My love?”

You blink at him, lips twitching, then smirk.

“Alright, sure. How about... Flamey Hot Dumbass Supreme?”

He stares at you.

“...That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

You grin wider “What? It’s affectionate.”

Ace covers his face with one hand, groaning “What was I even thinking that day I confessed to you and kissed you...”

You press a kiss to his cheek “That I was the only person who could make your life this fun.”

He huffs but he doesn’t argue.

He just pulls you closer, tucking you under his arm, and lets the sunset burn quietly around you both.

The laughter fades slowly.

Ace still has his arm around your shoulders, thumb brushing slow circles on your upper arm. You rest your head against his bare chest, listening to the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat.

The orange-sweet breeze brushes past. The sun’s dipped lower now, gold turning to pink.

He doesn’t speak for a long while.

And then softly, without teasing “You’ve been sitting next to me all this time…”

You glance up, and there’s something in his eyes that makes your chest squeeze.

“Yeah” you whisper “Where else would I go?”

Ace lets out a breath that almost sounds like disbelief. His fingers move up to touch your cheek, warm and careful.

“I was so busy back then. Fighting. Running. Trying to prove something. I didn’t even see it at first.”

“See what?”

“You” he says “Of course.”

You smile, nudging his nose with yours “Took you long enough.”

His other hand finds your waist, pulling you gently closer until your knees are nearly in his lap. His voice drops “I love you.”

You blink, heart thudding.

He’s said it before, during arguments, in bed, drunk off sake. But this time? This time it’s bare, and slow, and steady.

You wrap your arms around his neck and whisper against his lips:

“I love you too, firebrain.”

You’re both smiling into the kiss when—

“Yo.”

You freeze.

Ace groans out loud, forehead thudding against your shoulder as Marco’s voice cuts you.

You both turn, Ace’s hand still on your thigh, your face flushed, as Marco stands with a completely deadpan expression.

“Am I interrupting?”

Ace doesn’t even lift his head “You think?”

Marco shrugs “Well, you're not in your room, you know? That’s basically an invitation.”

You’re trying not to laugh as Ace flips him off without looking.

“Five minutes, Marco” you plead.

Marco holds up his hands, already walking off “Sure, sure. Just letting you know dinner’s ready... lovebirds.”

Ace groans again, shoving his face into your neck as you laugh harder.

“I swear I’m gonna set that pineapple on fire.”

“Sure you are, Captain.”

“…Don’t start.”

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ real housewife of verstappen (smau) ੈ✩

pairing : max verstappen x reader

tw : chaos, infidelity, abuse, hospital visit, mislabelling

fc : Yasmin Wijnaldum

a/n :AHHHHH, it's part two is out y'all!! the plot is messier y'all - anyways feedback and taglist is always open - WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU MENTION WHICH TAGLIST, PERM OR SERIES !!

·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 367,836 others

f1wagmonaco Rumors keep flying as YN Wijnaldum Verstappen was spotted visiting a hospital in Monaco with a mystery person instead of husband, Max Verstappen.

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user1 YN'S CHEATIN !?!?!

user2 oh lord, this just got messier

user3 man, i don't know what's worse

user4 just leave their lives alone

user5 that man could be a bodyguard !

user6 i mean if my husband hit me, i would cheat too

user7 i don't know who to believe

user8 Maybe they were rehearsing for a new show ‘Secret Affairs and beatings'

user9 please 💀

user10 this can be a pr stunt for hulu

user11 hospitals and nose bleeds for pr ??

user12 they should have chosen netflix, netflix could not never to do so -

user13 THROWING, SCREAMING, CRYING

user14 turn off the comments man, this is getting heated

user15 just remove them from the show

user16 istg, actually remove them

user17 remove max from redbull too , we don't want an abuser driving

user18 get max out of formula one ! hitting any woman is not acceptable

user19 Romeo & Juliet but make it messy

user20 I’m just here for the comments. Carry on

liked by louisegjorp, marthasinclair and 298,467 others

hulu Sorry Love Island! We had to get our own bombshell, Lousie Gjorup, Wife of Kevin Magnussen, Danish Racing Driver joins the first ever season of Real Housewives of Monaco!

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user1 another formula one wife !!!!

user2 LET'S GO WAGSSS

user3 she is so pretty, oml

user4 She has NO idea what she just signed up for

user5 please don't bottle like kmag :(

user6 this is literally formula one meets RHOM

user7 HER DAUGHTER !!!!!

user8 kmag's living the life man

user9 this better be good

user10 idk like her joining after yn ???

liked by ynaldum, user1, user2 and 872,745 others

hulu RHOM's episode 3 saw a bit of heated conversations with the new arrival, were rumors put to rest ?

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user1 WE LOVE LOUISE

user2 TELL THEM LOUISE HOW'S IT DONE

user3 i love how louise stands up for yn, telling martha to stay in line

user4 i love louise iconic move

user5 "JUST BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND HAS AFFAIRS DOEN'T MEAN EVERYONE WILL BE HAVING ONE TOO !"

user6 she just exposed her like - boom

user7 " THAT GIRL MAY BREATHE AS WELL AND YOU MAY GO ON HER NECK AND BE LIKE WHY IS SHE TAKING SO MUCH OXYGEN !"

user8 louise is what yn really needed

user9 EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU LOUISE

user10 tbh someone was actually needed to shut martha

user11 please tell me this settles the drama

user12 yn sitting their in the corner, holding her tears is painful

user13 the silent thank you in yn's eyes

user14 please, just stop screening this stupid show

user15 i ain't watching this anymore

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 763,634 others

f1wagsmonaco YN Verstappen's private account posts have yet again been leaked ! Her photos with a mystery man have been leaked, looking intimate, with the ongoing rumors of her's and Max Verstappen's marriage issues. The source said that these posts were made recently, after the hospital visit.

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user1 OH HELL NAUR

user2 WHO KEEPS LEAKING HER PRIVATE PHOTOS !?!?!

user3 but is she really cheating ?

user4 they look close man, idk

user5 THAT'S HER BROTHER, LOOK AT THE SIMILARITY MAN

user6 siblings kiss ?

user7 wtf-

user8 THEY ARE SIBLINGS !?!?! IT'S ABSOLUTELY NORMAL TO KISS ON CHEEKS ?

user9 man i have never seen an adult sibling pair even hugging

user10 where in jupiter are you living? they just have a healthy bond, stop being jealous

user11 man i am still sus

user12 can't beleive people think hugging their OWN BROTHER is a crime

user13 social media has ruined evrything man

user14 OF too man

user15 yn, we are so sorry

user16 i can feel it, it's not her brother

user17 ISTG, IF SHE IS CHEATING-

user18 she is cheating smarty pants -

user19 boytoy exposed

user20 what if its actually her brother ?

liked by ynaldum, lando, hulu and 1,467,836 others

maxverstappen I would like to clarify the circulated sayings around my family. The bruises and nose bleeds were not due to any rumored abuse but rather extreme side effects of a pregnancy. I have been racing so it's difficult for me to manage seeing my wife and our son, so my wife's brother @ thomaswijnaldum has been helping her with the hospital visits. I hope no more rumors will be circulated as it's causing a lot of stress on my woman and the mother of my child, any further circulations and legal procedure will be taken.

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liked by maxverstappen, alexandrasaintmieux and 2,467,926 others

ynaldum my three boys, i am sorry i couldn't protect you.

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let me know if you want to be added or removed to the tg! WOULD BE GREAT IF YOU MENTION WHICH TAGLIST, PERM OR SERIES !! IF YOU GET ADDED IN THE WRONG ONE, LET ME KNOW, I apologize if i made the mistake since more than 100 people are to be tagged

permanent tg: @isotopemylove @chair-things @justaf1girl @bibblemiluvr @blushmimi @nikfigueiredo @amz824 @ivegotparticulartaste @raizelchrysanderoctavius @freyathehuntress @piastri-fvx @sadiemack9 @ilivbullyingjeongin @cherry-piee @luvleylisen @sweate-r-weathe-r @jxnellat @loveofmylife12 @budgetcupid @lilaissa @scorpiodiosa @wondergirl101ks @nichmeddar @hoeforlifee @urfavnoirette @lily-ann-b @okcurran @miniboast @teti-menchon0604 @motorsportloverf1 @formula1-motogpfan @capricornito @star73807-blog @isagrace22 @unstablefemme @lovestruck-sky

series tg: @angstynasty @hiireadstuff @nichmeddar @paigem00 @yettobedetermined7 @f1enthusiast69 @linnygirl09 @blushmimi @sjprongs @bxuzi @cp-27 @nikfigueiredo @sired4urmama @anamiad00msday @f1-33 @allthings-fandoms @reey0w @ale-522 @masomason @exotic-iris13 @msliz

@seungkwannie-lover @ezzi-ln4 @lando-505  @super-delirious @kimnamnu @wondergirl101ks @gondaleila @jenxjar @raynetargaryan2 @i--sa @angelluv16 @midnight-and-books @kacy01 @formulahoney @northpizzasposts @sunshinedaisy21 @wertyuizxcvbnm @unknownmystery22 @rd14 @almostjollypizza @mxryyss @azeal-peal @maxswhore33 @sainzluvrr @fastandcurious16 @vakonquipo @sleutherclaw @luvsforme @lolcra @cosimaa @literallysza @itsjustmyopinionf1 @blakebearsblog @multifantasic70 @annimausi @luvnixxi @taylordaughter @kodeelynn @pookynknowntranger

[m4nj1r0s]

Slightly!Yandere Shinichiro general headcannons

Note: I went off-track a little with cute moments 😭

- SIMP. You’ve probably heard it 100 times, so let me be the 101st, he is a SIMP.

- Has your picture as his lock screen and Home Screen, has a polaroid of you two in the back of his CLEAR phone case, another polaroid in his wallet and a framed picture of the two of you in his shop.

- Looks at you with love-hearts in his eyes whenever you’re talking. It could be about the economical state of the world and he’d still listen intently just because you’re the one saying it.

- Everyone says he doesn’t have any skills with girls, which is true, but he is genuine and that’s already better than the majority of men.

- Will hug and kiss you in front of his friends because he literally does not care what they think. They’ll all probably groan and tell him it’s gross.

- Has accidentally blown a puff of smoke in your face from a cigarette and when you started to cough he panicked. Got you a cute teddy bear to say sorry though.

- Has your skincare and makeup routine memorized, and products. This man knows your shade and the brand you use for foundation and concealer. Always stocks it up for you when he sees you’re running low. Loves to watch you apply skincare and makeup and will get flustered if you ask him to put it on for you.

- Is always so gentle with you. He hasn’t hurt you, and won’t ever. Not even accidentally. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him!

- Benkei and Takeomi give him bad girl advice. Wakasa knows better but he’s never around when the other two give Shinichiro advice… When he tries it with you, he gets genuinely shocked when you tell him you don’t like whatever he tried.

- One time, he asked you if you were on your period because you were mad at him, and when you asked him why the hell he would ask that, he replied “Takeomi told me that you’d think I was attentive and knowledgeable about women’s hormones if I asked you!!”

- They’re probably the reason he doesn’t get girls tbh

- But he has you, he doesn’t need anyone else.

- He does get jealous super easily. He doesn’t even know how he pulled you in the first place, but he WON’T lose you.

- Has and will use his connections from the Black Dragons to beat anyone who tries to get with you. He’s not going to get his hands dirty (probably because he doesn’t know how to) if he has people to do it for him.

- Celebrates every little milestone in your relationship. Expects you to remember as well. Like, what do you mean you forgot this is the anniversary of the first time he fed you?!

- Dreams of a nice, domestic life with you in the future whenever he sees you with Emma and Mikey. He wants 4 kids and a nice house by his grandpa’s dojo.

- Mikey and Emma LOVE you. You’re their big sister now! Especially Emma. It’s hard for her in an all male household, so you’re her rock when it comes to things her brothers and grandpa don’t understand.

- Emma loves to do girl things with you, like face-masks, doing nails and gossiping about boys you guys like. Although it’s only really Emma who talks about boys she likes, since she’ll get grossed out if you talk about Shinichiro in a romantic manner. That’s her stupid, goofy older brother after all..

- Mikey is constantly asking you if Shinichiro is paying you to pretend to be his girlfriend because you’re wayyyyy out of his league! Shinichiro is a bland 4 and you’re a 10!!

- Mikey and Emma definitely crash your guys’ dates sometimes. Especially if you guys are going on a picnic or to the mall.

- Grandpa Sano likes you as well, you’re keeping Shinichiro from getting into trouble and being a goof. Although, most of that is just how he is.

- Mikey definitely introduces you to Draken as his big sister. And Draken probably sees you as his big sister too, you guys probably do have cute moments.

- One time, you saw Draken sat on a bench on his own and you took him to the convenience store and got him candy to cheer him up and talk about why he was looking down. Mikey joined you guys half-way through with a bag of dorayaki (no, he did not share).

- All in all, you guys are a cute ass couple and the kids all look up to you two.

[petertingle-yipyip]

DADDY ISSUES - KAZ BREKKER

Pairing: established Kaz x Reader // Word Count: 2,989

Summary (request): Hello… I hope you are doing well… I wonder if there could be any chance I can request Kaz Brekker x wife reader, where reader comes from really shitty background (her mom hanged herself, her father is abusive) and she never talked about it much and always helped Kaz build himself back before her, but now it kinda turns around… maybe make it a little angst, like they get in fight about it and the reader just breaks down thinking Kaz will left like everyone else did… hope it’s not to complicated… thank you <3 // couple slight tweaks (forgot it was a wife!request tbh). hope you enjoy! and the title was simply for the vibes, idk

Life in the Barrel was its own hellscape. You never denied or argued that point. Instead, you tried to find your own little bright spots.

You had friends, a crew that’d go to war for you. And lucky you, that crew turned out to be the most feared and respected in Ketterdam.

Not that you knew that when you joined. In the beginning, it was just a way to find a new life. You weren’t even looking for safer or better, just new. Your mother, Saints rest her soul, had been through the ringer. Your father, may he rot in Hell, was as vile as they came. He lost money on gambling, spent nights upon nights upon nights at the Pleasure Houses, drank himself stupid, all to come home and beat down you and your mother. The night your mother tried to fight back and protect you both, your father made a scene. He played innocent, ran into the streets calling for Stadwatch and that your mother was hysterical. The next night, your mother found herself on a short path to the end of a rope.

Your father called it a warning. You called it a threat.

That was when you ran. You packed whatever fit in your bag and ran. You ended up meeting another runaway, a criminally smart boy named Wylan. He didn’t speak much at first, but you two roomed together for a little while during your stint at the dye factory. He was called upon by the Crows first.

You lingered around the Club after that, wondering if they’d take you in too. One of them must’ve took pity on you because when you went back to your musty little lodging, the Wraith was waiting with an offer.

Your life seemed to turn around after that. You turned out to be quite the strategist. Within a few months, you had worked your way to being Kaz’s go-to for when he was mentally stuck. You saw things differently than he did and it made for good conversations and optimal plans for jobs. Whenever you two put your heads together, you were unstoppable.

Naturally, you two drew close and ended up together. You also learned the hard way that Kaz was his own brand of crazy. It took digging and prying and more patience than you thought you had, but he eventually told you everything. It was so much more than you expected and explained a lot of why Kaz was the way he was. But with some not-so-gentle coaxing, you managed to get him to agree to baby steps which grew to strides which grew to leaps and bounds.

With careful feints and evasions, you managed to keep the details of your childhood away from everyone. Even Kaz. When they asked about your parents, you simply said Mom was dead and Dad was long gone. Where were you from? Here, there, wherever the wind blows in from.

By some miracle, you could touch Kaz in practically any sense and he would hardly react. He could touch you willingly, and he did often. Loosely hooking his fingers through yours, a lazy arm around your waist, his chin atop your head when you leaned against him in your booth at the Club.

Inej said he smiled more after you arrived. Nina said she’d never heard an honest laugh until you. Even Jesper said you softened Kaz’s rough edges, not all but enough to notice.

Admittedly, it was nice to be needed. To be wanted. It was so blessedly refreshing.

Until one night, you were suddenly a little kid again, cowering in your mother’s skirts.

You recognized his voice before you saw him. His deep, angry voice rumbled through the Crow Club and you immediately tensed in the booth. You believed he was dead. You used to pray for it. It seemed the Saints didn’t offer you that mercy after all.

Miraculously, Kaz was too enthralled in his debate with Jesper to notice.

Your eyes frantically scanned the crowd, looking at every table for the culprit. When you had checked everywhere, you thought you had imagined it. Someone else with a similar timbre had to be there instead. You sucked in a deep breath, counting off numbers in your head as a distraction, until he practically fell onto the table.

You flinched hard and it instantly drew Kaz’s attention. You stayed frozen, as if your father wouldn’t notice you if you didn’t move. You saw Jesper draw a pistol on reflex and Wylan shot you a worried look.

Wylan was the only one who knew the extent of your childhood trauma, and that was only because he came back to your shared room to you sobbing on your mother’s birthday one night. You spilled your secrets and he hesitantly shared his.

“I can’t be here.” You squeaked, trying to scoot out the booth. Your chest was growing uncomfortably tight and your blood was rushing in your ears.

“I’ll walk with you.” Wylan stood.

“No.” Kaz said firmly. You didn’t need to see his face to know he was giving the back of your head that calculating, suspicious look. “I’ll go. Jesper, get rid of him.”

“Yes, Boss.” Jesper answered.

You tried to make yourself scarce as you heard Jesper telling your father to move. A small clatter later and a large hand, too large to be Kaz’s, locked around your upper arm and yanked you back. You stumbled over your own feet and were pushed against the table’s edge. You closed your eyes tightly, your head dropping immediately. All you wanted was to be as small as possible.

“All this time…” Your father sneered. You could smell the liquor on his breath. “You’ve been here?”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. You had no voice. All you could think about were the tears burning behind your closed lids. You simply shook your head, but it wasn’t good enough.

“You’re a coward then, hmm? What happened to all the giggles and flirts these men got, huh? Just like your tramp of a mother.”

Your father shook you and you let out a panicked whimper. You tried to pry his fingers loose but it was useless.

“I suggest you let her go.” Jesper said firmly and you heard the hammer of his pistol. “Before this gets ugly.”

“This doesn’t concern you.” Your father spat. “It’s between me and my daughter.”

“Daughter?”

“What? Can’t see the resemblance?” Your father’s hand tightly gripped your cheeks but you jerked your face away.

“You can’t grab on her like that!” Wylan argued and slammed his fist against the table.

Bless his heart, you thought. Saints, don’t let my father hurt them.

“My friends are right.” Kaz spoke calmly. “Seeing as this is my Club and that is my Crow you’re harassing, I’d very much say this concerns me. If you don’t want to lose that hand, remove it. Now.”

You forced your eyes open but couldn’t bring yourself to meet his gaze. Instead, you focused on his cane. His shoes. You itched to reach out for him, to fold yourself into the safety of his embrace. An embrace that only you had the privilege of experiencing. But your father’s bulky frame was firmly in the way.

Had he gotten fatter? You had half a mind to say so and laugh, but you knew that was a quick way to a broken nose. You’d never forget the crack of your mother’s when she made an off-hand comment about his waistline one night.

“Mind your own, boy.” Your father spat at Kaz’s feet.

You gasped slightly and Kaz simply chuckled. That delightfully ominous sound was your saving grace. Most men would have apologized, begged forgiveness and swore some sort of penance, but not your father. No, he was stupid and stubborn. He was going to get what was coming to him, albeit less than he deserved in your opinion.

“Oh no..” Wylan said quietly.

You struggled in his grip again. You hoped it was enough of a distraction, but you were wrong. A familiar strike hit your cheek and the force threw you to the side. A pair of arms caught you but you couldn’t focus on anything beside the pain in your cheek.

That trademark back-handed slap, seemingly reserved for you and your mother. The slap that had split your cheek wide open when he had used his ring hand before. The slap that made you feel eight years old again. You had the thought to hide under the table but shook it quickly.

You weren’t a child anymore. Your mother couldn’t help you. You focused back to the current moment, the pulsing sting in your face and the tears in your eyes. You opened your mouth, unsure what you intended to say, but no sound came out. Instead, Kaz swung his cane with enough force to make your father sway on his feet - you thought you saw a tooth go flying - and Jesper was eagerly climbing over the table to join in.

You had half a mind to laugh as they landed strategic blows against your father.

‘Serves you right!’ you wanted to yell but your voice was still missing.

But Wylan was already leading you out of the Crow Club. You didn’t protest the escape. Wylan didn’t say anything until getting to your room at the Slat. You sat on your bed after kicking off your shoes and pulled your knees to your chest.

For what felt like the first time that night, you took a real breath. The adrenaline had faded, leaving your body tired and heavy.

“Do you want to talk?” Wylan gently tried, sitting at the edge of the bed.

You simply shook your head.

“Okay… Do you want something cold for that?” He gestured to his own cheek.

Gingerly, you prodded the tender area. You winced but felt no cut or blood. You shook your head again.

“I’d like to go to bed, I think.” You spoke. Your voice was so small, so far away. That couldn’t be what you sounded like… Was it?

“Of course.” Wylan nodded. He stood and patted your head, making you laugh weakly.

It was the same gesture he did the first time he saw you crying when he didn’t know how to help. Since that first night, it was just what you two did.

“Thank you for sticking up for me.” You offered a grateful smile. “You got the other guys going, too.”

“We’re always gonna be there for you, Y/N/N. And hey, if it helps any, I’m sure Kaz beat the hell out of him.” Wylan offered.

“I’m not convinced anything’ll help anymore, Wy.” You shrugged before laying down.

Not until he’s dead, but you didn’t dare say that part out loud.

You waved goodbye to Wylan before you took your pillow and put it over your face. You held it there and screamed as loud as you could. You screamed until you were out of air, then sucked in a deep breath just to do it all over again. Once the screams were gone, you cried. They were ugly, likely snot-filled and red faced cries, but who the hell cared?

You cried until your throat was raw, your breaths were shaky, and your eyes were dry. You had nothing left in you except childhood pain, so you did the only thing you could. You let sleep take you.

It wasn’t long until the door creaked open and you shot up. You blinked the sleep out of your eyes quickly, reaching in a panic for the small blade on your nightstand.

“It’s alright, Dear.” Kaz spoke calmly. “It’s just me.”

“Oh…” You sighed in relief, pushing your hands through your hair. “Just a bit jumpy, I guess.” You tried to laugh it off.

“That man in the Club...”

“Kaz, I don’t want to-“

“You never mentioned your parents.” He kept on going.

You groaned to yourself, understanding that Kaz was going to be stubborn about the topic. With a sigh, you ran a sleeve across your face. You folded your legs and Kaz sat in the now open space of your bed. He kept his eyes on his cane, tapping it as he spoke.

“Those things he said about your mother, what he did to you…”

“Yes, my father is an ass.” You conceded. “Is that what you want to hear? Is that what you want me to say, Kaz? My family was broken. Hardly a family at all, nothing more to it.”

“Seems like there’s much more to it.” He countered.

“Oh, for Saint’s sake.” You ran a hand down your face. “What do you want me to say?”

“You completely shut down, Y/N.” He said firmly. There was concern in his voice, but it seemed smothered by the anger still looming. You blamed your father for that, too. Was there anything that man couldn’t ruin? “He put hands on you and you did nothing.”

“I’m well aware.” You bit out. You placed your hand over where your father’s had been and it was as if the skin was burned by his touch. You shivered slightly but said nothing else.

“I’ve never seen that happen to you.”

“Let it go, Kaz. I’m begging you.”

“Convenient, isn’t it?” He scoffed slightly. “When you wanted to know of all my pain and torment, I had to lay it all bare for you to scrutinize and study. Yet when it comes to facing your past, you don’t have words?”

“I don’t have words.” You rolled your eyes. “If you believe that’s the case, then just leave me be.”

“I’m not leaving you.” He sounded near offended that you’d suggest such a thing. “Not until you talk to me.”

“What difference will it make?” You nearly screamed. “You’ve seen the truth. You know that I’m a fraud and I’m weak and pathetic. Feel free, Kaz, to cut your losses and go. I don’t expect you to stay after that fiasco.”

“You think so little of me?” He didn’t bother hiding how your words hurt him.

“I think the world of you.” You corrected quickly. “But I also know you. That whole thing made a mockery of who everyone knows me to be, and that reflects on you and your choice. My father has the infernal talent of breaking me down as if I’m nothing. He had always been able to break me and he enjoyed it. I’m sure he looked very high and mighty doing it again, didn’t he?”

Kaz didn’t answer.

“So now you know. Now you know that I’m not at all what I pretend to be around here, and I won’t blame you if you walk right out that door and never acknowledge me again.”

“Is that what you want, my dear?” He asked quietly.

His gloves were abandoned on your nightstand, you hadn’t even seen him take them off, and he gently took hold of your hand. With minimal force, he removed your hand from your arm and slipped his fingers between yours.

“Do you want me to go?” He asked. His voice was quiet, so uncertain. You had never heard such a tone from him.

“No…” You confessed. “But I know-“

“Then tell me.” His eyes met yours and in the dim moonlight from your window, you could’ve sworn you saw…

Tears? 

Well that couldn't be right. You didn’t even remember him crying when he told you the story of his brother. Why would he be crying now?

You reached your other hand for his cheek, smiling to yourself as he leaned into your touch.

“This isn’t your burden to carry, my love.” You answered softly. He sighed slightly but had no argument yet. “You wear so many hats, balance so many titles and jobs. You bear the weight of so much pain as it is… I can’t ask you to bear mine.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.” He corrected, gently taking your hand off his cheek. “Y/N, you are the only thing in this world worth having. Every breath I take is because of you. Every day I wake it is because you are beside me. To know that this has haunted you, to know that man exists in the same city- same country- same universe that you is a crime that I will personally make him answer for. He threw away the privilege of your love and your protection the first time he dared to put his hands on you.”

“Am I protecting him?”

The question wasn’t meant to come out. The look he gave you was so close to pity you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“You offered to carry my pain as if it were yours so long ago.” He spoke gently, so gentle that it made your heart ache. “You carry everyone’s pains and gripes without a word… Let me do the same for you.”

“He’s the reason I lost everything…” You nearly whispered. “He’s the reason I had nothing. What if he’s the reason I lose you?”

“It’s going to take more than that to scare me off, Darling.” He gave you a small smile. “I swear to you, Y/N, he will never hurt you again.”

You sniffled and threw your arms around him. He was quick to return your embrace.

“I love you.” You mumbled against his shoulder.

You managed a better sleep with Kaz beside you. The next day, you two stayed cooped up in your room and you answered every question you could manage.

Admitting to the extent of your father’s abuse was more difficult than you expected. Several times during your conversation, you found yourself shutting down and trying to change the topic to whatever you saw out your window.

Yet Kaz was ever so patient.

You knew then, beyond any sort of doubt, that you and Kaz would be together for a very long time.

[ally1uvsu]

Freezing. | Choi su-bong (Thanos) x Nam-gyu

Summary; Where Thanos can’t really help but notice how Nam-gyu constantly makes paws with his sweater, and how he sometimes rubs his hands together. Just to his luck, it doesn’t take long for him to discover that Nam-gyu’s body is weirdly cold, just like his hands. Info; fluff, mentions of drugs (avrg thangyu behavior tbh), it’s that whole cold body and warm body shit, definitely ooc but who cares? I don’t, feelings realization because why not, cuddling, Thanos just thinks a lot on this 😭, both of them ponder over their feelings for each other but don’t necessarily speak up, hand-holding (slightly), overall just these two being really, REALLY, gay. Notes; they’re both real gay and we all know it like.. why is Nam-gyu so clingy like chill Thanos is all yours.. anyways uh forgive me if this is bad it’s like nearly 1am and I’m getting the most random ideas but i’m also exhausted so hence why this is so short bye. And also, the lowercase thing is intentional.

It was right after the second game, that stupid pentathlon one. Honestly, it was kind of fun considering the fact Thanos was high off his ass the whole time, just like Nam-gyu.

Nam-gyu, who speaking of which, Thanos was eyeing just now as he watched the short-haired man in line for his food. Thanos couldn’t really help but notice something now that the effects of the drug kind of rested down after the game. Nam-gyu was constantly making sweater paws.

That made Thanos furrow his brow, he observed him rub his hands together before letting them fall limply to his sides as he stepped up in line and grabbed the food from the guard, and Thanos drifted his gaze elsewhere, not really feeling like being caught staring.

The group sat together as always, yet Thanos was a bit quieter than usual. He was thinking, was Nam-gyu cold? Hell, this place wasn’t even cold, surprisingly. It was kept at room temperature and sometimes it even got stuffy after the games due to having over 100 people inside a room to sleep together.

His gaze drifted to elsewhere in the wall as he picked on his food wordlessly, some might as well just think he’s high, at this point. And then Nam-gyu leaves to the bathroom at some point and Thanos is staring again. Which doesn’t go unnoticed by a girl beside him, Se-mi.

"You’re staring." She said teasingly and almost matter-of-factly, shit, was it really that obvious? Yes, it is and he knew it. "Didn’t peg you for the kind of guy to have a thing for people you treat like sidekicks." She snorted, even though Thanos knew she was just teasing, his heart involuntarily skipped a beat.

"The hell would I be staring at him for?" Thanos replied back, although with less bite to it than it’d usually have. "I’m just observing, jeez, a guy can’t even stare anymore nowadays."

"I never said you couldn’t, but you sounded really defensive over there.. sold yourself out." Se-mi said before standing, giving him one last glance. "Y’know, it’s not that hard to see it, honestly. You both don’t even try." And then she left.

Thanos paused, it wasn’t hard to see what? Whatever she was implying.. it wasn’t something the rapper was totally opposed to. Well, in his honest opinion, he has always been bisexual, he often leaned towards women.. but doesn’t really have an experience with men.

But something Thanos can’t deny is that he indeed does find Nam-gyu weirdly attractive at certain points. Well, mainly the way he ducks his head down or covers his mouth when he laughs, or when he bites his lip when he’s focused or even nervous.

And then he stopped, why was he even thinking about this again?

And yet, the poor rapper didn’t even have a chance to think further when his gaze locked into the familiar figure walking back inside the room, again with those stupid sweater paws. Seriously, was Nam-gyu really that cold all the damn time or was it some sort of habit?

But hey, at least he could pull it off. If anything, Thanos thought the way he stupidly covered his hands with the tracksuit jacket as if it was too big for him was cute.

Thanos wondered, Nam-gyu had pretty hands, if he also had to be honest. He drifted off again as the man sat by him and began talking about whatever. Maybe he could hold them? Just not right now, in front of everyone. Just to his luck, Nam-gyu’s bed was above his, Thanos was in luck.

He just kept nodding here and there to whatever Nam-gyu was talking about, and obviously, he noticed it. But didn’t really pay any mind to it, guessing Thanos is just probably high anyways. "And then he messed up on the whole…"

He never would need to know Thanos is wondering if Nam-gyu had a cold body. Thanos knew himself for having a warm body at all times, would it feel good to have Nam-gyu close? Maybe he could use his own body heat to warm him up. And while he brainstormed, whatever his mind picked up from Nam-gyu’s words were all uselessly jumbling up into nonsense into his brain. "Yeah, Nam-su. You tell them." Thanos said without really knowing what was Nam-gyu even talking about.

"It’s Nam-gyu." The other corrected slightly annoyedly, and plus, that didn’t really have anything to do with the topic. Seriously, what was this junkie on? Probably on the pills safely kept inside the cross necklace but whatever, he didn’t have the luxury to pick who listens to him in this hell of a place. "Yeah, whatever." Thanos shrugged at the correction, not thinking much of it, really.

Thanos just really decided to stick to whatever plan he made, which could be considered extremely half-assed. The second it was time for lights out, Thanos found himself sitting on his bunk with Nam-gyu chatting away uselessly about their lives out there.

Well, that was until that fucking voice announced lights would be out in ten minutes, but, at least Thanos could put his plan to action.

"Guess I’ll see you tomorrow, dude. Get some sleep so we can-" Nam-gyu was already standing up as he said that, but he paused when he felt a hand on his. His gaze drifted lower to see Thanos’ hand loosely wrapped around his palm, almost holding it.

"Are you cold?" Thanos finally blurted out, referring to the way Nam-gyu placed his jacket. Thanos let his hand relax onto the other’s, and then he realized just how freezing cold his hand was for some reason. Was Nam-gyu’s body that cold all over?

Nam-gyu seemed to be caught extremely off-guard by the gesture, brows furrowing before he opened his mouth to speak, and yet he didn’t pull his hand back. "Not necessarily," he said quickly, well, yeah, he was cold. But there wasn’t much to do about it and complaining would make it worse.

"Your hands are freezing cold." Thanos said again as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. "No fucking shit." Nam-gyu said as he finally pulled his hand back. "Whatever, if you’re done holding my hand to state obvious shit, I’ll go to sleep now."

But Thanos didn’t let go this time, determined to buy Nam-gyu with whatever excuse he could find in the moment. "Your body is probably freezing, too. And these blankets are just fuckin’ excuse of an actual one."

Nam-gyu blinked, "The hell are you implying?" And then Thanos scooted over and patted a spot next to him on the bed, looking at Nam-gyu with a almost pleading gaze. He paused for a bit, it wasn’t light anyone would see it, the lights were slowly dimming down to a nothing. And plus, he did feel cold in the moment. Maybe body heat could help him rather than the ass mattress and the stupidly thin blanket.

And then Nam-gyu was sighing and sliding under the covers next to Thanos, he didn’t face him, hell no. Nam-gyu probably would have a heart attack considering how he has been on his head about the purple haired one. As much as he hated to admit it, Thanos’ body felt good against his own. Weirdly warm and comfortable.

He closed his eyes briefly, trying to will away the blush on his cheeks as he felt arms draped over his waist, he could very distinctively feel the rapper’s warm breath on the back of his neck, and it wasn’t long before he felt a hand on his own, with lazily intertwined fingers. He shivered very visibly when he felt a hand slide under his shirt.

Thanos had just found out Nam-gyu’s body was just as cold as his hands, and his own felt actually nice on the raven haired man’s body, they weren’t cold like his, Thanos wasn’t cold like him. Thanos’ body was warm in a comfortable way that Nam-gyu weirdly found himself craving.

"I think I might burn your blanket down so I get to do this more often." Thanos mumbled, a shit eating grin on his face Nam-gyu couldn’t see but he could tell was there. "Don’t you fucking dare, asshole." He said back, but in reality? He wouldn’t mind having this for the rest of the game days until he died, that is, if he does die in here.

And Nam-gyu also found out that he could fall asleep faster than usual with a certain purple haired man with his arms draped over him while his hands were on him.

This probably sucked bye, I’m so sleepy and I have a biology essay due in like five hours and a half and I’m barely halfway through it, enjoy tho:)

[mikuni14]

Our Youth - Ep 6

I really liked how they were together, their first night - the whole vibe, the morning after, the conversation by the sea, the return home together, them going separate ways, Hirukawa's attempt to improve his life and Minase's pride in him. It was all theirs, and somehow so… ordinary? So good.

Yesterday I wrote that Hirukawa needs help and a way to get out ASAP, before he falls apart, or does something really destructive, or really stupid. Tbh, I didn't expect him to do all of the above. I also wrote that he is still a kid, and as if he keeps the self-fulfillment of two families on his shoulders - it turns out that in addition to being responsible for two families, he also feels responsible for his schoolmates. It's very painful - and so real - that none of the above responds to him in the same way. His mother doesn't take care of him, his father beats him, his schoolmate is silent and lets him take all the blame. Neither parents nor a friend would meet the definition of what it means to be a parent and a friend, what it means to be a close person. But that's ok, Hirukawa fulfills his filial and friendly duties for all of them. And then some 🙄

However, the only person who knows him, who believes in him, who knows all of his (not just selected) secrets, who offers him concrete help and words of support - Hirukawa ultimately doesn't choose this person and doesn'tt feel such an obligation towards him as towards others whom he doesn't even love. Because let's be honest, what Minase heard was that for Hirukawa their life together, going to school, finishing it, continuing to work on himself, on their relationship, is less important than his duty to his friend, who literally blamed him for his own decisions as his father does all the time. Minase watches Hirukawa and sees how he is treated by his father, by his mother, which certainly hurts him, which was visible from how upset he was seeing Hirukawa and his mother consciously and unconsciously playing a happy family, and how he almost spilled the beans, because it must have frustrated him so much. The fact that Hirukawa so seemingly easily crossed out his - and their shared - future for some idiot must have been devastating for Minase.

I watched with sadness Hirukawa's impulse to be "worthy" of Minase, to change, to become "better", being ruined by his self-destructive tendencies, low self-esteem and savior complex. Minase had been so happy just a moment ago, after their trip together, after their first time, after their conversation in the sea, watching Hirukawa's involvement in school. Seeing the "easiness" with which he crossed it all out for something completely irrelevant from Minase's point of view, rejecting Minase in the process, must have been a difficult experience for him. Because although in Hirukawa's belief he is "saving" Minase from himself, in reality he hurts Minase who thinks he is not worth fighting for. Something like this creates fear in Minase, that there will always be someone for whom Hirukawa will consider worthy of destroying his (and by extension Minase's) life. Minase's reaction, how first shocked, then defeated and hurt he is, rather than angry, shows that he might have such feelings, even subconsciously.

This also perfectly shows how "noble sacrifice", combined with low self-esteem, is destructive for everyone. Like thinking that since you are a "trash" anyway, why bother trying, that you don't deserve anything good in life, someone good in life, so it's better to let it go, instead of fighting for it. And it doesn't help anyone at all, it doesn't save anyone, and it actually causes pain and destruction. Because although in Hirukawa's opinion he is "saving" Minase from himself, in reality he hurts Minase who thinks he is not worth fighting for.

The worst thing is that Hirukawa is too young to understand himself and has no one around him to tell him that he is not responsible for the actions of other people, especially adults. And that adult problems are their problems that they themselves should solve. And I really can't even be mad at all of this, because I've literally seen situations like this in real life, I've seen people ruin their lives out of some sick sense of responsibility for people who are completely unworthy of it, who never paid back in the same way - or any good way, instead making things worse. I've seen people ruin their lives for people who are unworthy of it, who could live a good life with someone valuable, good for them. This is actually a very real life situation, which doesn't change the fact that it's still very frustrating, incomprehensible and painful. It's also a very realistically shown long-term effect of domestic violence and child abandonment. Contrary to what Hirukawa (and Minase) think, that somehow he can cope, that it is "fine", that he just have to endure it, that it is all under control... while it affects every aspect of his life.

[jybyls]

Biker!Jenna x Biker!Reader Hc's

Navigation

Warnings: Nsfw at the end.

A/n: n/n means nephew's name in the 3rd video

Words: No idea, tbh, didn't check. Sorry

- 📜🎧🍂 -

Ok, hear me out.

Jenna in a full black and red gear on a red Yamaha r6 that had to be lowered by 2 inches in the front and back because otherwise, she couldn't fit on it. Hot.

-------------------------------------------------------

You guys have matching bikes, helmets, and gears. (your bike had to be lowered, too) (unless you're taller)

Mess with each other at red lights. Killswitch each other, kick each other, put your helmet visor up and down. You'll just mess with each other in every way.

She's womanhandling you when you're her backpag, to the point where sometimes she put you in the front with her. Video

Street racing at 2 am. In the middle of nowhere.

Have her initial written with a red felt tip on your bike and helmet, and the same goes for her, but you wrote it in black.

Have a joint playlist for rides that you listen to even when you're riding alone.

You both love to scream every music that blaste in your ears. Video

Kiss each other deeply before every ride. ykyk

You do wheelies out of nowhere or pass between two trucks, which makes her heart skip a beat each time. She always screams at you for that. You just hug her, give her a helmet kiss, and apologize. Video

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You bought Jenna's nephew a mini bike cause he kept asking you to give him rides around the block.

She has a whole folder of videos and photos of you and her nephew riding around the block. In some of those videos, we can hear Jenna screaming at her nephew not to copy what you're doing. Video

You'd be showing him the most dangerous trick like it's nothing because your stupid brain didn't actually think he'd try to copy you.

You got yelled at a lot by Jenna because of that. And every time you're just like “I didn't think he'd copy me ! It's not my fault the kid's fearless !” and Jenna would be like “He's a kid ! He doesn't understand how dangerous it is to do a wheelie ! WITH ONE HAND !”

You had to go up to him and explain to him that he's only allowed to ride carefully and that he can not do tricks. Yet.

You're his favourite aunt, by the way.

-------------------------------------------------------

Jenna is definitely the mom of your relationship. She has to make sure you're not going a 100km/h on a 50km/h.

Had to get you out of trouble multiple times. She's always like “It's like you're a magnet for trouble/danger.”

Jenna seems like the responsible one, but her dirty mind is tempted to take control over her.

You'd turn your head to see if Jenna is still behind you, and that's when you saw your girlfriend pretending to jerk off her inexistence dick. Throwing her head back and everything. Or if she's waiting for you in the garage when you'll come in, you see her humping your bike. Video

- 📜🎧🍂 -

NSFW:

One night, you kept teasing her, saying how you wouldn't mind riding both--her and her bike, aaaand she took your word. You ended up riding her strap while she was on her bike.

She praised you the entire time: “That's it, ride my dick babygirl.”

“You're such a good girl.”

“Keep going, love.”

“You're doing so good, fuck..”

“Look so good riding me, my love.”

She maybe degraded you a bit too- oop: “You want more ? Yeah ? What a slut.”

“Aw is it too much for my baby ? You ask for it just take it, slut.”

- 📜🎧🍂 -

A/n: Hope y'all like it. Love ya <33

[vesna-v-irkutske]

Nikita is sexy as fuck and I’d suck him so quick but why does my nigga sound like that😭he’s never beating those Down syndrome allegations

He's just a silly boy, plz stawp... 💔 Tbh, I always giggle when listening to his music, don't know what's funnier to me: him trying to make his voice sound deeper (tbh, it's dope as hell, it works well, but he'd damage his vocal chords quickly) or his normal voice. But I like it, even when he makes his voice sound stupid or makes weird sounds (HIS VOICE CRACKS ARE SO FUNNY 😭). Pop off, diva. ✨ But omg, watching any video of him after the arrest is lowkey painful, this boy had extreme levels of anxiety, which is understandable in his situation, but man, he could barely speak and get his thoughts out. :(

[savventeen]

you say the stupidest (sweetest) things

pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3

From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]

yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science

Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.

To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.

Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.

He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.

“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“

“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”

The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.

He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”

“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”

“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”

His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.

Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.

“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”

Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”

“So. Where're we at this time?”

He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.

“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”

“Aish.”

The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.

“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”

“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.

“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”

“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”

He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”

“No, it isn't.”

Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.

“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”

“I'm not lying!”

“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”

A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”

He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”

“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.

“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."

You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.

“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”

“...”

“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”

“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.

“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.

“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”

“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”

“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”

Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”

“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”

Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”

“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”

Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”

“Booooooo, you whore.”

He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.

Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.

A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.

Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.

But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.

Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.

how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh

He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.

But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.

Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.

Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.

You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.

The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.

Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.

Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.

You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.

Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.

And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.

It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.

With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.

Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.

And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.

For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.

Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.

You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."

He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."

“Yep!”

You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.

The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.

Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.

💤 💤 💤 💤 💤

It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.

Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.

It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.

He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.

And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.

Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.

Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.

"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"

He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.

"Am— am I okay? No??"

Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"

Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.

"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"

Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"

"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?

Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.

"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"

He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"

Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"

"What you just said."

You blink. "...that I'm confused?"

He shakes his head. "No, before that."

You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"

"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.

That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.

He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””

Oh.

You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"

He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"

And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."

Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.

You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."

"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"

"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"

"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.

"Oh my god!"

He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.

This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.

But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."

Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.

And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.

And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.

You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"

This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.

When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.

"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"

Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.

"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"

Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"

"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"

"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."

And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.

He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.

And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"

"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."

Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"

He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.

"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.

"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."

You blink at him.

"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”

He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.

“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”

You snort.

“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”

"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.

“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”

Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.

The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.

[weltato]

The Ramble About Klavier (AA4 spoilers)

Going off this post I made a while ago, here's a ramble about everyone's favourite rockstar prosecutor :)

This is gonna be a long post, so I'mma put it under a cut, but the TL;DR is that Klavier's damage sprite hurts me physically and I absolutely think that Kristoph is the cause of it :)) Also, using Franziska as a bit of a comparison at points because I could go on about her as well honestly, but that's for a different post.

(obligatory headcanon disclaimer here)

*Warning for mentions of verbal abuse, if that's uncomfortable then please scroll on and stay safe!*

UPDATE: I wrote a fic! Read it here!

You still here? Grand.

This sprite hurts man.

(I couldn't find a gif file for young Klav, had to use the icky webp file from the wiki- I fucking hate webp it's such a stupid file type)

You see how it's the same? You see how both sprites are the same? They move exactly the same! Now, you could say that it's something related to the chord that plays every time we see the sprite crop up, but he's gonna be smart enough to know about ear protection when doing rockstar stuff. Could be a sensitive ears thing, or a cringe thing at the sound of the chord (bc it does sound bad, I'll grant that), but it's never said if Klavier has sensitive hearing or smth (afaik, bc I haven't seen SoJ yet). We know Athena does, but nothing about Klav.

So! Remember Kristoph? Remember how shitty of a person he is? Welp, in the same vein as Franziska's damage sprite making everyone go "ooh, MvK did bad things" I put forward that Kristoph also did bad things.

But not physically. Kristoph is a man who uses his words as his weapons until he just casually has to poison people and then stalk everyone for seven years bc a fangirl screwed up his plan.

The sprite when Klav's 17 is labelled as "Disbelief (Unused).

Sure, it's unused in-game, but they still made it and they made it exactly the same as present Klav!

But when he's older, it's simply listed as "Damage".

Damage is a word used for quite a few sprites tbh, since it's when they...well, take damage, from their opponent, either through scripted event or from player decision.

However! Going back to a point I made in the original post: Franziska has a different distinction. Her older sprite is listed as "Shocked" but her younger sprite is given the "Damage" title.

Look! Her sprites are different! It doesn't give any good vibes tbh, she's sort of holding herself higher up and more with both arms than with the one arm her younger self uses, but that's for a different ramble about Franzy. This is about Klavier.

Franzy goes from "Damage" to "Shocked", potentially meaning that whatever is being thrown at her doesn't hurt anymore, merely catches her off guard and this is a reflexive response.

Klav goes from "Disbelief" to "Damage", which tells me that his younger self refused to hear and his older self is now realising that things are SO much worse than he feared and that HURTS.

With Franziska, it's pretty obvious that MvK was a pretty distant parent in parenting terms. I mean, he was always there, sure, but he didn't really show much love and affection. Franzy realises this and carries on because that's how she was brought up. She can handle that. (Don't get me started on the cry sprite omg-)

Kristoph was the same.

All my homies hate MvK and those same homies should also hate Kristoph. His nickname was literally "The Coolest Defense in the West" - this man was known for being level-headed! He was known for being a cool, calm and collected person! You never know what's going on under that.

Klavier was absolutely verbally and emotionally abused. I don't think it was physical abuse in any way, and if anything happened then at most it might've been a slap in the face, but Kristoph doesn't strike me as someone who gets off on holding power over his brother by beating him. After all, Klav is in the public eye 90% of the time as a rockstar, he doesn't want to risk make-up being applied wrong and the paparazzi picking things up. Kristoph strives for perfection in everything (again, the wiki literally says this, although I'm aware that the wiki can be edited by anyone) and he sees it in his brother too: he wants Klavier to be perfect.

But then he went to be a prosecutor and a rockstar and that's...well that's not good, it might ruin the name he's made for himself if his little brother goes off gallivanting with people like that (poor Daryan). Kristoph sets impossibly high standards that Klavier just can't match because he's not the same as his brother, he's not like that, he cares about people and his decision to go study in Europe is met with more disapproval from Kristoph, but Klavier takes it all as brotherly encouragement because the boy is SEVENTEEN and there's an eight year age gap, surely Kristoph knows best...

Then we get to the final section of Turnabout Succession.

When presenting the nail polish, Klavier recognises it immediately because that's the brand his brother uses. When Apollo asks about his hesitation, he says it's nothing.

They never checked Vera's nails either and Klavier is unable to say anything because Apollo is on a roll and Klavier really hopes he's wrong, so he asks if the bottle belongs to Vera and Apollo asks back if he knows someone else with one of those...

"No." he says, "Just checking."

YES. HE. DOES! He knows immediately as soon as that nail polish is brought up, everything clicks and he's so distressed by it that he refuses to believe Kristoph could've done this. He's in prison right now, how could he poison someone??

And when the Judge isn't convinced by this, Apollo deals him the final blow.

"Prosecutor Gavin doesn't seem to think this is inconceivable."

No response. His face is unreadable, or maybe it's anguished, and when it's suggested to bring Kristoph up as a special witness, Klav says this: "I've known for some time that an impenetrable darkness lurked at the bottom of this. ...A darkness that has swallowed even myself."

He knows and it's time to face The Devil that orchestrated all of this.

Maybe he's known for a long time and only just removed the rose-tinted glasses he was seeing Kristoph through - and he's crushed by it.

When Kristoph is in the room, Klavier's words are especially defeated here. Kristoph even asks Klavier to explain what's going on.

"You're being accused again. By him. Again."

And when Kristoph asks if Klav agrees with this, he says nothing. What can he say? That yes, his brother is a dark man? That yes, he's manipulative enough to do this kind of thing? That, if given the chance, he do it again to get rid of everyone who's in his way?

Trucy even says in one of the pressed statements that Klavier "must be nervous with big brother watching!"

Kristoph even takes over from Klavier's Objection when Kristoph's pressed by Apollo about the likelihood of Vera wanting to poison herself. That bitch! He's so obsessed with control that he takes control over his own trial from his own brother who's trying to 'defend' him. When Trucy says the two together is a force to be reckoned with, Apollo notes that they could do with more teamwork.

In that pivotal last statement, Klavier acts more like his brother than he ever has in the whole game and Apollo picks up on that. Kristoph is the reason Klavier is acting different, the reason he's trying so hard to get Apollo to notice the difference - Kristoph is clearly the threat in the room.

Kristoph is cruel in public too, but only now that Apollo is cornering him. See, the abuse towards Klavier was only ever subtle in public and far more pronounced in the home, but in this trial there's nowhere for him to go and Apollo would pick up every detail. So, when Apollo brings up the stamp and Klav's taken aback by this, Kristoph takes that moment to pounce: "You've upset my poor brother to the point of uselessness. Allow me to clarify this matter[...]"

We all hate him, right? He's such a dick.

Klavier is quiet, just watching everything unfold since he has no way to confront Apollo when he himself believes that Kristoph is guilty, and when Kristoph worms his way out of things he belittles Klav: "Really, Klavier. You should be seeing through these weak-spined bluffs by now."

What can he say? It's the same kind of thing he was always told - that he should be better, always pushed further than he could go.

But then he doubles down. He's sick of this, sick of Kristoph always being the perfect brother. So he fights back and calls Kristoph the bluffer. Kristoph is shocked; never once has Klavier outright pushed back on him. So when Klavier starts to side with Apollo, Kristoph plays the game.

Now, I'm not going through the whole case beat for beat, but there's another point later on when Apollo goes "oh btw Phoenix didn't do this and lol here's evidence" and Kristoph tries to deny this by saying "oh but defense attorneys are only assigned the day before anyway" but Klavier objects and turns to Apollo, pleading with him because he needs to know the whole truth on this.

Even Kristoph is caught off guard because he thought he'd kept Klavier on his side but NO! NO HE DIDN'T! HAVE YOU SEEN HIS DAMAGE SPRITE HE'S HURTINNGGGG T^T

ahem-

Anyway, Kristoph tried to dismiss this and Klavier objects in his face and keeps his focus solely on Apollo - he even calls him by his actual name instead of Herr Forehead (which I think is kinda sweet actually but anyway-) and fuck man, this hurts me.

And as it closes in towards the end, when Phoenix's recording is mentioned and Kristoph says that his "brother is incapable of making rational judgments at the moment" (angy Wel grumbling) we soon get this:

I LOVE KLAV HAVE I SAID THIS YET!?

AND HERE'S THE KICKER:

KRISTOPH IS WORRIEDDDDD

AND KLAV DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE YES!

CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW GOOD THAT FEELS? HOW CATHARTIC THAT IS? THIS MAN WHO'S DONE NOTHING BUT CONTROL HIM AND USE HIM FOR HIS OWN BENEFIT AND BELITTLE HIM WHENEVER HE DOES ANYTHING EVEN OUT OF LINE IS FINALLY GETTING HIS COMEUPPANCE AT KLAVIER'S HANDS!!

OH it's great to watch, we love to see it.

Better still is the very end, after the breakdown, after Kristoph loses his cool:

The sass is strong in this line. To me, it's a final 'fuck you and everything you ever did to me' from Klavier.

We end on this line after the Judge says that nurturing is the task for all human beings: "Except for you, Kristoph. You aren't changing. You've stopped. You're not needed anymore."

And it's true. Klavier doesn't need Kristoph anymore. He's 24, he can live his own life and he doesn't need a cynical and condescending brother like Kristoph breathing down his neck every two seconds. He's broken free from Kristoph's control completely and he's relishing that.

So this is why his damage sprite hurts me to see. It's a point of pain and discontent, it's Kristoph lingering in Klav's head, it's the want to have a normal brother that loves him as he is and sees him as an equal. He got his first trial against him taken away, and we never know if there was another opportunity for the two Gavins to go up against each other again, but by the sounds of it there probably wasn't - and that's a good thing! If Kristoph had faced off against Klavier, it would have probably broken Klav's spirit to be a good prosecutor like we see in AA4 and to some extent in AA5 when he crops up in the Themis case.

On the whole, the damage sprite is a look into how Klavier hid from his brother's verbal abuse - by covering his ears and not listening to it. He didn't want it to be true, but it came at him anyway and he hated that. But it's also a parallel to how he feels about Kristoph: that is his brother and he can't bear the thought of Kristoph being not just a murderer, but also a scheming manipulator that's been skirting around the law he so desperately hides behind for seven years. Once again, he didn't want it to be true but it came at him anyway and he hated that he couldn't get away from it.

It's a good sprite, I won't lie. Great storytelling at the conflict between the two and that Klavier loves Kristoph probably more than Kristoph love him, but it still hurts me to see it because all I can think about is what kind of manipulation has Kristoph done to keep his power over Klavier. Kristoph is manipulative even to his own brother and there is nothing Klavier could have done about it. Throughout their interactions in the case there's this underlying current of "if I get out of this you're so dead" and that feels like it's been a thing forever between them.

I hope this makes sense because I should be writing my assignment rn and I just couldn't bc this has been taking up all the space in my head lol. I'm tirrrrrred, uni wears me out man >.>

[roomwithanopenfire]

Stats Sunday

Happy March!! Thanks for the tag @nausikaaa! Unfortunately, my goal is to make this banner worse every month, so be prepared—we've only just begun.

Early post for me. I should be sleeping but I started making my graphs and then... well, here we are.

Here's my February Recap loll. Stats and graphs and musings incoming. (this post is so long but i promise there's a snippet in here)

Rest of post is under the cut. It is long. You've been warned.

I've posted two things last month! A valentine's day fic for Ebb/Fiona and Chapter 3 of the Way We Are. (Technically i posted 3 but this stranger things oneshot was posted on the 1st and written in January so it feels like January's accomplishment)

Total words written for February: 14405 (this beats Jan by 460 words!)

Days I met my writing goal (200 words): 20

Days I didn't write or edit anything: 4

Day I wrote the most: Feb 11th with 2249 (this beats last month's high score of 1717!)

Number of Fics worked on: 10 technically, but i have not been consistent with most of them. mainly worked on 3.

Daily Average: 514 words (but like last month i am highly inconsistent and my WC varies wildy depending on the day)

(I really like the little curve in the middle. also two the days that look like zero are actually 1 words, which is my placeholder if i spend all day editing)

And here's a pie chart to show my WC distribution across projects. Tbh a lot of these were fics that i've had in my fic ideas doc and all i did was make a google doc for them and word barf onto it my ideas, that's why there's so many small slices.

some slices are so small you don't even get to know my placeholder names. also i hope the title THTHIPWGI intrigues you, i'm always excited when i can title a fic right away and refer to it by a fun accyromn on my spreadsheet.

Other notable things from February:

I finished writing all of The Way We Are!! (kind of. i have one more scene to write. Monica's fault.)

I took over the @carry-on-sapphic-week event!! Check out the prompts if you haven't yet <3

I've received So Many beautiful valentines from the CO discord servers exchange. my mailbox and my heart has been full

The CO fandom was able to raise $500 for Fandom Trumps Hate!! (and I got to make a spreadsheet bc of this!!!) (also i won two auctions from this, one for each fandom i'm in)

My car battery died and I had to get a new one :/

I started a new journal!

I finally figured out how to spell February

my savage worlds campaign finally got our ship back and made it off this stupid planet that we've been on forever.

i've started watching Yellowjackets and I'm really enjoying it

I read so many CO AU fest fics and each one of them was so good. I think i've read all except one so far, and honestly this fest has been so fun i'm obsessed with you guys, you're are so talented.

SPEAKING of CO AU fest fics, @fiend-for-culture's fic, Everything In Between, is SO good, i've been thinking about it all week. you should read it (and leave a comment so i can read it bc i'm stalking the comments on this fic and there's not enough to sate me)

i have spring break in just one week!!

Okay, i promised you words, so here's a snip from my COBB.

“And I’m sorry,” Simon says. “For what?” “Driving you off yesterday.” “That wasn’t your fault. I was being terrible.” “Yeah,” Simon agrees. “But I shouldn’t have dismissed you like that.” I make a face. “I’m not having a heart-to-heart with you, Snow.” Simon groans. “Why do you have to do that?" "What" "Everytime I think we're making progress you say something nasty like that."

sorry this post is so long, thank you for reading if you made it this far

tags, hellos, and apologies:

@alexalexinii @aristocratic-otter @argumentativeantitheticalg @artsyunderstudy @arthurkko

@beastmonstertitan @blackberrysummerblog @best--dress @bookishbroadwayandblind @bookish-bogwitch

@the-beard-of-edward-teach @brilla-brilla-estrellita @cccloudsss @ciescen @confused-bi-queer

@cutestkilla @drowninginships @facewithoutheart @emeryhall @fiend-for-culture

@hushed-chorus @iamamythologicalcreature @ileadacharmedlife @theimpossibledemon @jyae23

@larkral @lovelettersto-mars @meanjeansjeans @m1ndwinder @monbons

@noblecorgi @orange-peony @prettygoododds @raenestee @rimeswithpurple

@run-for-chamo-miles @rbkzz @shrekgogurt @simonscones @skee3000

@supercutedinosaurs @sweetronancer @talentpiper11 @toc-the-scrambled @thewholelemon

@valeffelees @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe

added some new ppl to this tag list, feel free to share a wip you're working on—art, fic, etc. it does not have to stats like mine is loll. i use wipsdays as my soapbox.

[dragons-hoard-of-fandoms]

(Murder Drones Episode 8 spoilers!)

Space. The final frontier.

Poor robo-roaches always getting tossed around and killed.

They just left Braiden and Rebecca's corpses there??

Honestly the Teacher is such a mood, I can't believe I never realized it before.

Solvedcalculus reference???

Nori you can't say that this is a Christian Minecraft server.

It's amazing how they're able to make her still convey emotions when she's only got one eye.

YES HE SAVED HER BUT ALSO WOW THAT WAS FAST

Well she did tell you to "Die Mad" about it, so...

Kiss. Kiss! KISS! KISS!! KISS!!! KISS!!!! KISS!!!!!

New cute date idea: Skydiving from space and burning up in the atmosphere together <3

THEY ARE DATING THEY ARE CANONICALLY DATING!!!!!!!!!!

Why no kiss tho :(

Dang it, that was Thad's only good pipe.

V IS ALIVE AND SHE RODE IN ON A SENTINEL I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST JOKING ABOUT THAT

AND IT HAS A LITTLE COWBOY HAT

SHE WAS LIZZY'S SECRET FRIEND AND SHE DID THAT ONE MEME

No!! Bad dingo!!! We do not eat our friends!!!

IT'S DOING THE WALL-E FIRE EXTINGUISHER THING

So did J know the whole time or was she kept in the dark at first and only recently found out? Not entirely clear on that.

You really think it's not gonna dispose of you once all the universe is dead?

V SAID BITE ME

I was fully expecting her to chuck N into the core for a second there. But TBH I don't think continuing to destroy the planet is gonna fix it.

THEY'RE SO CRINGE IN A COOL WAY I LOVE THESE STUPID DORKS

THE CAPTIONS SAY SOLVER CONFIRMED THAT IS NOT CYN

"Okey."

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP

Y'know J thinks pretty highly of herself for someone who's literally never killed a single person on-screen in the entire time that this show has existed.

Huh, I guess those theories about Uzi not having a core icon were wrong.

You get a panic attack! You get a panic attack! EVERYBODY GETS A PANIC ATTACK!

Wait which part of this is the trap?

FREAKIN EXCUSE YOU DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST TOLD NORI THIS IS A CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER THERE WILL BE NO SWEARING

Uzi is not beating the bisexual allegations.

SHE IS CANONICALLY CRINGE AND FREE

Nori I don't think most people call their daughters "babe."

"...'Kay."

Playing Nightcore during a final battle is the most anime thing ever.

And the J abuse continues.

*teleports behind you* Nothin personnel, kid.

Okay bye J, thanks for literally nothing.

SECRET HANDSHAKE N YOU'RE SUCH A DORK

o7

THEY'RE SO STUPID I LOVE THEM

YOU STOPPED TIME???

SHE LITERALLY ATE A BLACK HOLE???

😦

Thad is confirmed the coolest dude on Copper 9.

Sorry y'all, Khori divorce real.

Man Teacher don't wanna deal with none of this, same TBH.

Everybody gangsta til the cowboy robot dinosaurs start driving buses

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH!!!!!

Nah you're not damaged you're just autistic and edgy.

Polyclue shippers low-key getting fed tho.

HE'S BEING SUPPORTIVE AND TEACHER STILL DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH THIS

HE CALLED HER HIS GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!

My heart goes out to all the Doll fans, y'all got done dirty. 😔

He's learning how to draw anime!!! His art is getting so good!!!

He finally got to play rummy with the WDF!

They're gonna passionately make love on that bed later.

Wow what did Rachel ever do to you. Also who's Rachel.

THE NUZI-VIZZY DOUBLE DATE FEATURING DINGO AS THE FIFTH WHEEL

THAT'S THE REAL CYN YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME THAT ISN'T THE REAL CYN FINALLY FREE OF THE SOLVER AND LIVING IN UZI'S TAIL UNTIL THEY CAN MAKE A NEW BODY FOR HER

IN YOUR FACE EVERYBODY WHO SAID LIAM DOESN'T LIKE HAPPY ENDINGS!!!!

[ambyams]

hey guys * drops my super awesome Ace Markey headcanons *

- Gay (canon actually)

- On the ace spectrum (demisexual?) haha…get it..because. Ace.

- I think he’s cis tbh

- Ace is his middle name, his first name is actually Greggory or some shit

- “MOOMMMM. MY NAME IS ACE 😡”

- Adhd (whether it’s diagnosed or not, idk)

- He’s always sweaty due to nervousness

- Locks himself in his room during his bday, especially when he was younger

- —> this is because Halloween freaks him out

- Was one of those homophobic (but actually gay) guys in middle school + early high school

- Amazing at cooking vegetables, but sucks at cooking most other things

- Horrific spice tolerance. Will scream like that one time Xander beat him in arm wrestling if he has an OUNCE of spice

- Even before the killing game, he’d have nights where he was super paranoid and could barely get any sleep

- Has frequent nightmares

- Most of these hcs are sad I’m so sorry

- When he took Spanish in high school, he was terrible at it. His pronunciation of words were…interesting

- Somewhat decent when it comes to math, terrible with English

- I imagine his handwriting looks very sharp and harsh on paper

- IF his only friend died (which I think he did), then that made his fear of death worse or kickstarted it altogether

- He didn’t get much attention as a child since he had 9 other siblings (that’s what it said on his wiki..that he has 9 siblings)

- —> the way he comes off around people is his way of getting the attention he needed as a child

- —> the only kind of attention he got from his parents was through being a jockey

- Spiderman pajamas. Trust.

- It takes a while for him to warm up to people, but once he does he becomes a really loyal friend

- Has had the same stupid horse plushie from when he was 4

- His love languages for friends are gift giving and acts of service

- He genuinely doesn’t know what to do with his life besides being a jockey

- Bro barely has any fingernails left from biting them all the time

- Really insecure about his hands in general

- If anyone comes up with any happy hcs please share.

[kalisseo]

concept art about my favorite shows is always something so interesting to me, and of course clone high is not the exception

fork found in the kitchen, even though topher has barely any concept art posted of course analyzing his is so fun to me, so this post is just gonna be me making commentary on his concept art. maybe I'll make one for the other clones too

first of all I wanna start with the ones that look the most like his final concept

the first one is just alternative colors, I love both darker pants, but the shirts ehh idk, anyway to me those are other clothes that Topher has on his closet

the second picture just makes it more obvious to me that Topher's final design IT IS supposed to resemble young Columbus portrayals or pirate/navigate clothes (which i find kind of ironic, but I like it).2 is just, basic pirate clothes, at least to me, 4 and 5 also give me that. kind of piraty vibe? mainly the sleeves. 3 doesn't really have that vibe at least to me tho.

the third picture is so fascinating to me because idk, it does look similar to his final design but at the same time not??? in a way??? I guess it's just because it completely loses the pirate vibe but it's similar clothes. anyway to me he really conveys the annoying guy vibe, idk how to explain it, but it's the zip on the collar and his stupid pants in the right version, the pose is a heavy influence of course but idk, he's just, HE JUST LOOKS. ANNOYING. which I like because that's kinda his purpose as a character: being annoying

the fourth one also really gives his annoying guy vibe but well that's completely on his pose and expression this time.

he doesn't really make those kind of poses or expressions on s2, so I guess he was gonna have a more s3 personality from the start??? or maybe I'm just looking too much into it

anyway his healthy skin tone is really scary to me

now these designs fascinate me because of how different they are... idk I think he has a completely different vibe here

I guess they wanted to give him a kind of. hippie vibe. idk. saying this because of the colorful tie,

this is so funny because his clothes are kinda what you would expect from a relaxed chill character, I guess, but his expressions look tired and snnoyed

in the design of the middle he gives me this kind of, reserved guy impression, not that final Topher is an extrovert anyway. also his big worried eyes...

also he's supposed to have dreads, so that's kinda why I think they wanted to make him low-key a hippie tbh i don't think final topher would wear those, cultural appropriation yk. He does look like he's trying to distance himself from Columbus tho, i mean once you know who topher is it's more obvious the resemblance, but with these designs not really even knowing who he is.

if he's supposed to still be like #wokeally I can see him being it but in a more genuine way?? or relaxed way????? I don't. really know how to put it into words (and no by more genuine I don't mean that final topher is a fake woke to hide bigotry Sorry that vision of him pisses me off so bad. but I won't get into that rn.)

also to me he looks like a really tired guy, final topher is not the most joyous character but he's flamboyant, even if this design is more colorful he doesn't really give that vibe.

and I would write more about how i imagine his personality would be like,I have some ideas but at the same time I can't really. put my tongue into it so, let's just say I'm extremely intrigued by these versions and continue to the next ones

storyboard Topher, nothing much to say about him.

in the s2e3 storyboards he has a scarf, i love his little scarf idk...it has some charm I guess, tbh if this made it to the final design I don't think Topher would've been able to beat the gay allegations /hj

also I think it's probably his voice, but he also has a slightly different vibe in those storyboards, this might be a me thing tho

in the s2e8 storyboards he seems to have this turtle neck?? tbh i don't know if it's a turtleneck or supposed to be a simplified version of his collar, yk storyboards aren't really supposed to be that detailed i think

also something i noticed is that he has a slightly different shape in some of them?? An example is the third photo, also you can see that face shape in some of the concepts posted by tara billinger

honorable mention

dedicated to the fat Topher concept art that was never posted, id always mourn it, along with the rest of storyboards where he's in, and any concept that hasn't, and probably will never, see the light

but maybe if i wish hard enough there will be a clone high art book, or the artist will decide to post everything

anyway this is. not all . really, but whatever, it's most of it, so that's enough for today

[sludgekludge]

i hate how s2 made stella abusive purely for the sake of making stolas look good since hes objectively worse then blitz because he cheated on her and humiliated her publicly, gave out his daughters inheritance and put it at risk 99% of the time, (not even giving her a chance to learn how to use it! which is the whole reason she was MADE!) on top of him forcing blitz into sex once a month for use of it. meanwhile, loona, who at most shoved her dad away in s1 and yelled at him when he yelled back, gets to literally beat him over the head with objects and throw shit in a near identical way stella did to stolas in s1 and have it be treated like comedy when it's just uncomfortable at worst or unfunny at best to watch, because this isn't a consistent thing we've seen before.

this show just picks and chooses when you're supposed to gaf about something based on narrative framing only instead of being mature enough to let it's audience chose how it feels about these characters in a show SEEMINGLY WRITTEN FOR ADULTS who can use basic critical thinking skills, and it's why i hate apology tour and mastermind too, because one father's sacrifice and valid substitute for saving someone else's life in order to prioritize their daughter is treated as BAD, but another's decision to NOT proitize their daughter over saving someone else's life is treated as good.

notice how stolas consistently gets the narrative on his side for seemingly no reason? bro is a black hole stu and i will stand by that until my last breath tbh. i hope he chokes on a rat and Dies

honestly, the hand-holdyness of the show is one of my biggest beefs with it, the constant 'telling you how they want you to feel' instead of presenting you with a situation and letting you come to your own conclusion on it. have fun forming an opinion on stolas that isn't knob slobbing because the narrative is Not going to fucking let you and it makes the story so bombastically boring that i'm still stunned at the writing opportunities they actively chose to squander

here's our complicated toxic yaoi except stolas did nothing wrong and blitz is a big mean idiot and stella is a stupid shallow bitch who does everything wrong forever and always and there's no nuance. you don't need to come to your own conclusions because we'll tell you who the bad guys are its ok. if you say this isn't complex i hit you with a hammer until you die

[chasedeys]

I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR UR JOEMARR THOUGHTS ON JOE WEARING THE TANK 😊😊😊

IT'S REALLY NOT MUCH 😭😭 just cbat music going off in my head as i picture joe burrow finishing up his presser and standing up looking to the left to see ja'marr standing waiting propped up ready to take his place and deliberately making eye contact in his stupid fucking tank top and ripped hearts jeans and pale shoulders and red nose and pale eyes and isn't he fucking freezing is what i'm asking here how well insulated is the paycor stadium really.

anyway deliberate eye contact this is important we know how much joe toes the line between staring people down with uncomfortable intensity (that ja'marr has learned to just roll with over the years) and inability to stare at ja'marr for more than a few beats per minute when they're flirting (see: titans mic'ed up) and goes to step right on the edge of the podium right across from ja'marr trying to haul himself up it but he's kind of blocked by this already-taller-than-him-but-made-taller-by-the-podium douche who's taking way too long to move out of the way.

no idea how the height difference would be affected by the podium but let's say ja'marr's face is level with joe's sternum. he looks down and joe's offering up his pinky, answers it with his own but joe doesn't let go immediately. stares back up in askance but joe's still staring him down and ja'marr's just caught in his eyes immediately, unable to look away. and they just. spend a Moment staring into each other's eyes. in front of all those reporters. hobs is beside himself with joy. yeah.

the pr person in charge of them coughs loud and pointed and joe finally lets go and moves to get off the podium. makes sure to brush his bare arm not hard but purposefully against ja'marr's own clothed arm, makes sure his physical presence is felt and he can absorb some of the heat ja'marr puts out (again is he not fucking cold. the hell.).

ja'marr finally sits and greets the reporters and this might just be a coincidence lmao but he was kind of stone faced the first few minutes of the interview. hot and bothered no?

anyway walks out of the media room and the coast is clear which he's surprised at bc he's lowkey expecting to get ambushed like. within minutes. so that's a disappointing turn of events but he walks off to the parking lot anyway bc he's changed and all his stuff is in his car and boom when he gets there joe's in his car patiently waiting for him and fiddling with his radio.

'did you swipe my keys?' 'yeah, get in, why do you always take so long for pressers. quit having so much fun with it.' 'are you fucking serious. get out.' 'no way in hell you're driving me, get in.' 'it's my car what is the matter with you get out.' 'no just get in ja'marr i wanna fuck.' ja'marr gets in the passenger seat.

super hilarious idea that joe can pickpocket people with high success tbh. or maybe ja'marr's just used to his hands on him idk. his keys were in his back pocket so.

also there were several other teammates in the parking lot starting up their own cars to get home watching the interaction long-sufferingly lmao. you know how loud ja'marr gets.