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asleepinawell · 3 years ago

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Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

#book recs #books #mp

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greycappedjester · 4 years ago

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Any oikuro friendship headcanons? Since we were robbed in canonverse 😭 this could be in hq! hogwarts or the scooby doo au! i don’t rlly think they’re friends in the cardsverse?

Meh, I'll split it and do both Hq at Hogwarts and Scooby-Doo.Truly is tragic that Cards is the one series I haven't managed to work in their friendship yet.

Hq at Hogwarts

1.) Voted most likely in the IC to talk/gossip in legit every single class they are in together. They're the second worst (Matsu and Makki still remain the worst). They're only mostly better at pretending to be model students because they write invisible notes and practice longwinded code when gossiping to each other. One day, Suga swears they're going to have an entire secret language writing notes that the teachers can't crack. Professor Oomizu (Runes) is reluctantly impressed.

2.) They narrowly avoided doing another grade competition this year (based on the consistent begging of Iwaizumi, Suga, and Bokuto combined....but really because Kenma said no once). It worked out actually because Oikawa isn't technically required to got to classes this year as a Triwizard Champion

*Bonus headcanon: I'm taking this from the fact that if Harry in Book 4 was exempt from exams, it also makes sense that Triwizard Champions should be able to time off class if they're working on the tournament...which makes sense as if you're chosen as a Triwizard champion, I assume professors think you're good as far as advanced classwork goes. More a Triwizard champion headcanon, Oikawa hardly ever misses class even with this excuse even when he really, really should because of keeping appropriate sleep schedules-- he's a huge nerd who doesn't believe in moderation. Ushijima misses class every now and then when in the library/ practicing for the tournament--he's a huge responsibility nerd who also believes in proper time management (cough, Oikawa, cough). Hoshiumi misses classes often using the tournament as an excuse--hes' a huge nerd that believes in self-teaching and surprise far more than he believes in being stuck in boring class all day. Tournament is an excellent excuse. At this point in the year, the professor only really expect him on exam days--which Hoshiumi has all O's on and frequently ties for top of the class. Sakusa (actual top of class in Beauxbatons), as usual, is very annoyed. Headmaster Hibarida, as usual, despairs. Hoshiumi, as usual, could not care less right now.

Scooby-Doo:

1.) So in the Scooby-Doo AU, Kuroo really wants to be a writer while Oikawa's dream is to be a lawyer (Iwaizumi wants to be a mechanic; Suga wants to be a scientist with focus in chemistry and likely forensics; Bokuto is figuring it out right now after a recent sports injury stopped his original plan of pro-athlete). Kuroo and Oikawa are the top readers on the team and will often read the same books just so they can argue minutia with each other. They were both tied for valedictorian in high school...or equivalent if other countries that??? I'm purposefully not specifying country for this series (mostly because I'm fine mildly distorting my own culture's mythical creatures for ScoobyDoo-ish monsters but feel weird doing it too much for other cultures). Anyway point is Kuroo and Oikawa are by far the ones that will get into the weeds in academic arguments while the rest groan around them.

2.) That said, when Kuroo decided he wanted to take a gap year (at least one) off after high school to explore the world more and figure out what exactly he wanted to do and how he wanted to go about being a writer, Oikawa is actually his biggest advocate. Sometimes he'll tease him good naturedly about it--like with everything--but he was huge about stepping in whenever anyone starting pressing Kuroo too hard about what he was going to do after high school? And a year off, really? And are you sure about the writing thing?

3.) This will come up later. Camping was always Oikawa's plan. Here in an ordered list is the group from Best to Worst at roughing it in the wilderness over night:

Best:

1.) Bokuto "Nature's The Best, Guys!" Kotaro

2.) Iwaizumi "Yeah, I can figure this out" Hajimi

3.) Sugawara "Oh, those are some interesting samples" Koushi

4.) Literally anyone else

5.) Kuroo & Oikawa

#hq at hogwarts #investigations inc

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pessimist-sky · 3 years ago

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I want an update on your life but not the commitment of sending you a message so here I am begging for scraps at the anonymous trough

lmaoo there’s exactly like one person who this could be but i respect the game so i’ll overshare via replies 😎

i have been,,,, okay. i’m studying graphic design except not right now because i’m taking time off to figure out my brain and bones and body which is,,, going lmao. i am on a deadline for getting back to school this fall or else my mom will cut me off which i respect but also i’m falling apart at the seams susan 💀 a bit melodramatic on my part but still. in my journey of figuring out Things™️ i have learned that i have autism which is p swag i guess, a nice contextualization for why i’ve been like this my whole life but also an overwhelming thing to absorb in my little pea brain but i’m getting there. my bones are meh but weed helps and i’m Going To Get My Medical Card So I Don’t Have To Keep Driving Out Of State but i do like road trips lmao i just have to again guilt susan into not disowning me for medical weed because she has weird hangups about it. i’m getting a genetic test and likely a full clinical exam for EDS because apparently i have tons of the main symptoms of that and maybe a doctor should have looked into that five years ago or smthn but whatever cause we’re doing it now and it probs will take a couple months before we know for totally sure whether it is or isn’t that but the odds are in my favor this time that i’ll actually get some form of a diagnosis? and my stomach sucks ass i had to get a colonoscopy and i can’t eat gluten anymore which is like all of my favorite things but as a result i’m a pretty dope cook now and i can make a mean smoothie bowl so i’ve got that going for me haha. but in general i like myself as a person more than i have at any other stage of my life, and i’m getting more enjoyment out of my day to day than i have previously which is growth? i have two jobs which is astounding, i work tech crew AND nanny my nephew boy which is fun because he’s cute and we have many of the same interests which is dope considering he’s not even three, boy has taste. i’m getting along with my sister more than i ever have, and i only have breakdowns about my relationship with my father once every few weeks (though it’s been a lot more often than that due to the fact that rn the theater is doing “Daddy Issues The Musical!” (Big Fish) and so every night im forced to re-examine if one day my dad will die and i’ll have to do all the work of mending our relationship and forgiving him for his failings before he does because in the end he won’t do a single thing to meet me halfway and for some reason we’re supposed to be on the dads side anyway?? but it’s okay i’m talking about that with my good buddy Arlene who is also my therapist. we get on well, arlene and i. but i get to see 5sos on sunday and stray kids in july and mychem in september and i saw bts twice before they split for the next few years and for a person who doesn’t like loud noises or crowds or flashing lights i sure do go to a lot of concerts but they’re fun so long as i get ample recovery time after the fact. my dog is old but he is heathy and kind. so there’s many bads but also some pretty big goods so i’d say i’m in general doing okay. i’m broken a bit but the pieces are getting put back into place in an alright fashion 🤙🏻 i hope a lore dump is what you wanted haha im good at just rambling about my life at 4am but not necessarily at being coherent!

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barrysjumpsuit · 4 years ago

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the kook year - kiara carerra x rafe cameron

a/n: i’ve been wanting to write this for a while but i’ve been feeling kinda meh about obx/writing lately, but the yeehaw sluts were discussing this last night so i felt the need to write it!

word count: 1.2k

warnings: mentions of drugs, violence

summary: when kiara is approached approached by rafe cameron at the outdoor theater, she remembers their history and why her “kook year” is something she’d rather forget.

“Hey, Kie.”

Kiara paused for a split second at his voice, but pulled her wallet and cash out of her pocket as Rafe sauntered up beside her.

“Hey, what’s up?” he continued, ignoring the look of disgust Kiara sent his way. She hoped he didn’t see the chill that went down her spine, the discomfort telling her to walk away. His voice softened as he spoke again. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she said flatly, meeting his eyes as he moved to stand in front of her.

“Good, good…” he trailed off before he said, “tell your boy we know what he did.”

Kiara could feel his icy gaze, trapping her. What did he mean? “I’m sorry… what are you talking about?”

She shrugged, and Rafe leaned in slightly towards her. “Oh, he’ll know.”

At that, Kiara grabbed the two Pepsis, turned, and walked back to Pope and JJ.

“Bye.” Rafe’s voice followed her.

“Douche,” she muttered, just loud enough for him to hear.

That evening, as she watched the movie beside JJ and Pope, she could feel Rafe Cameron watching her, his hungry eyes devouring her, taking her back to the year before.

Her Kook year.

---

Kiara sat on Rafe’s bed, her stomach turning, her arms wrapped around her knees which were pulled up to her chest.

She exhaled one shaky breath after another, knowing what was coming.

It had been going on for four months now, since November. Rafe was a senior. Kiara was a freshman. At the “Kook Academy”, as her Pogue friends had called it.

Her Pogue friends.

She hadn’t seen them since that summer before, when she left them. They went to the County High School, while Kiara’s parents put her into the Kook Academy. It was full of uppity, rich kids, none of which knew or liked Kiara.

Sarah Cameron was the one person she befriended. They became tight quickly, and for a bit, Kiara forgot about the Pogues. She would go on trips with Sarah and spend the night at her house.

Pretty soon, she started spending the night with Rafe, too.

Sarah didn’t know. She couldn’t. It was something she and Rafe only did in secret, making sure the house was empty of everyone when they were together. At first, it was exciting, dating someone as old as Rafe. He could get his hands on alcohol, on weed, and they would kick back and drink or smoke and enjoy each other. They would go for rides in his truck, go out on Ward’s fancy boat. They would take day trips to the mainland, Rafe insisting they go shopping.

He was seventeen. She was fifteen. It was legal, but still bugged her, deep down.

But Rafe taught her how to love, and about herself.

Rafe taught her a lot of things.

He walked back into the bedroom now, and Kiara could see him smiling. It was a smile that used to make her melt and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, running a hand down her bare thigh before his fingers rested just under the hem of her loose shorts. “You okay?”

“Rafe, we can’t keep doing this,” Kiara forced her to say. It was weaker than she intended, but still came out.

“What do you mean?” he asked, even though Kiara knew exactly what she meant.

Things had changed over the past few weeks. He had discovered cocaine, which made him irritable and aggressive. Kiara’s grades had been slipping, she and Sarah had a falling out, and she didn’t feel welcome – or comfortable – in the Cameron’s house.

“It’ll be okay, Kiara,” Rafe said, purring, moving so he was in front of her. Kiara felt his hand snake across her jaw and behind her head, pulling her lips towards his, the other hand grabbing her waist where it was exposed by her crop top.

In those four months, Rafe had never said those three words. I love you. Kiara had, twice, convinced she was in love with Rafe Cameron. Each time, he brushed them off, putting himself on her as he did now.

“Rafe, stop it,” she said, her lips against his. When he kept kissing her, squeezing her skin tighter, Kiara pushed him off. “We’re done.”

“Kie…” he was sitting back on his knees, his mouth slightly parted in surprise.

“I can’t do this anymore, Rafe,” she said in almost a whisper. “I can’t.”

“Why-“

“You’re a drug addict, Rafe!” Kiara’s voice was still hushed as to not alert anyone else in the house, if there was anyone there. “I can’t. This can’t be a secret forever, and Sarah hates me, and… I think it’s best we just not do this.”

“So you’re leaving me?”

Rafe’s voice hurt. It was impossible to meet his icy blue gaze, knowing that his pupils would be blown up from the high he was riding. She felt his hand back on her, cupping her knee and squeezing, as if his touch was enough to make her change her mind.

“Yeah, Rafe. I’m leaving you.”

Kiara pulled her leg from his grasp, crawling out of his bed and shoving her feet in his shoes, and was about to throw open the door when he caught her.

“Let me go, Rafe,” she cried quietly, almost whimpering, but collapsed into his arms as he pulled her into a hug. Those strong arms pulling her close, the fingers running through her hair, the familiar scent of Rafe. It was almost enough to convince her to stay.

Instead, Kiara looked at him through teary eyes. She had never cried over a boy before, even if Rafe was the first person she had been seeing exclusively.

Kiara didn’t say goodbye. She turned and pulled herself from his grasp, jogged down the stairs, and pulled her bike from where she had hidden it behind some hedges, and pedaled away.

She ended up at a house. After almost a year, it was still familiar, the paint was slightly more flaked off the sides, the porch a little more rotted and sagging.

Her fist in midair, Kiara paused. A year ago, she would have walked right in, flinging her sandals off in the entryway before dropping her backpack on one of the couches. Voices carried outside through a cracked window. They were familiar, too just slightly different. Pope’s was slightly deeper. John B’s sounded tired.

JJ’s laugh came through the window right as Kiara knocked on the door, and the voices stopped suddenly. The door opened, and John B looked at her, his lips parted and his eyes wide. “Kiara- it’s been a while.”

Kiara forced herself to smile at him, feeling her cheeks tight with dried up tears. “Yeah. Yeah it has.”

----

That night, at the outdoor theater, Kiara forced herself to ignore Rafe. She ignored his constant stare, the way he had leaned in towards her when she was ordering drinks. She ignored his comment, the dry “bye” he sent her way as she left, as he always said when they encountered each other.

Kiara had never said goodbye to him when she left that night.

He didn’t earn it.

---

taglist @ims0golden @sortagaysortahigh @shawnssongs @queenk00k @stargazingstarkey @jjsmentalpolaroids @jjmaybcnks @pogue-writings @bricksatanakinswindow @drewswannabegirl @rudths @rafecameron @i-love-scott-mccall @talksoprettyjjx @thevortexclubposse

#rafe cameron #kiara carerra #outer banks #obx #marie writes

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cal-puddies · 5 years ago

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the blow job || poly!lashton

idk where this came from but its here... let me know if you'd like more.

Poly! Lashton: the blow job || daddy’s home || cream pie || take the pleasure, take it with the pain || all at once this is enough || caught in between || take my heart, hit the back || daddy issues || needy || only you know the way that I break || picked all my weeds but kept the flowers

You sit huddled on the couch with Luke, as you’d done for most of the day. Ash walks in, “Hey babes.” He greets, leaning over to kiss you softly on the lips, he smooths the hair on your head as he pecks Luke’s lips. “How was your day?” He asks, sitting in the chair that slightly faces you and Luke.

“It was pretty low key. This one still had that headache from last night so kept it pretty meh.” Luke responds for both of you. “I did laundry and dishes and let her sleep it off.” He shrugs.

The relationship isn’t complicated to the three of you, but you know others wouldn’t understand it. Ash was daddy, always. He worked hard to take care of you and Luke in every way, and he always did. Luke would be what one would generally consider a boyfriend. He gave you most of your affection outside of the bedroom and if you were in public, he was always the one holding your hand. If you and Ash went out without Luke, for whatever reason, then Ash was always careful to never touch more than your back. But whether you were in public, or in the bedroom, ash was always daddy. For you and Luke both.

You and Luke share a bed, a decision you’d made long ago, and Ash sleeps alone unless one or both of you are invited to his bed. He doesn’t usually like to split you up because someone’s always moody if he does. And he typically likes sleeping alone.

You and Luke both switch, and sometimes you both just get railed by Ash, but it didn’t matter, you all were happy with how things worked.

“Baby girl, can you come sit with me?” Ash asks. So you get up and cross the space, sitting in Ash’s lap. “How’s your head?” He whispers, pulling you in closer.

Luke’s enthralled in whatever he’s watching so he doesn’t pay either of you any attention.

“Feels better. Just a tough day.” You shrug.

“You look tired. You ok?” He asks, tucking hair behind your ear. He watches you nod and then he pulls you in, kissing on you a little bit. “You sure?” He asks again.

“Yeah daddy, I’m good.” You nod.

Ash gently kisses you and he works to deepen the kiss until it’s a full blown make out session. His hand snakes up under the hoodie You're wearing and he starts to grope you, he knows how much you love having your nipples played with. His thumb swipes over one and he gently pinches and pulls at the tender flesh. He pulls his mouth away enough that your not actively kissing but your lips are still touching. “Moan for me princess.” He whispers, pressing his lips to yours briefly. “Want Luke jealous before you suck me off.”

You whimper when he pinches your other nipple harder, and Luke’s head turns toward you both. He’s intrigued, watching Ash’s hands on your body. Your hoodie is pulled off, leaving you completely bare on top.

“What’s daddy doin, baby girl?” Luke asks.

You don’t respond immediately, and you get your thigh pinched. “Lukey asked you a question.”

“Sorry daddy… Lukey, daddy wants a blow job.” You say, turning your head toward him.

“Well I hope you’re gonna be a good girl and give him one.” Luke smirks.

It doesn’t take long for Ash to get you on your knees in front of him. His shirt comes off and you work at his jeans, and once they’re off, he stops you a second. “Lukey, want you in your underwear, baby boy.” He commands and you hear Luke begin to move. His eyes fall back on you and he nods, letting you know you can get back to work.

You slide your hands up his thighs, and start to tease his cock over his boxers, kissing up his length and then gently licking the head, mouthing the fabric, wetting it.

“Tease.” Ashton breathes. You know he’s had enough and you tuck your fingers into the waist of his underwear and he lifts his hips so you can pull them down.

“Daddy.” Luke murmurs, drawing both of your attention. “Lemme film this. It’s so hot to watch.” He asks, holding up his phone.

“Baby girl is so good with her mouth…” his finger traces your jaw, “and she’s so hot when she gets into it, isn’t she Lukey?” He asks, earning a nod from Luke, “what do you say princess? Can Lukey film us while you suck me off?” He asks, gently holding your jaw now.

You nod, because it’s just for the three of you and you know Luke could get off on it alone for weeks, but he’ll do whatever he can to repay the favor.

“That’s our little princess.” Ash murmurs, nodding at Luke.

And you get back to work with Ash’s hard cock. You lick up the bottom of the shaft, letting it get sloppy with spit the way he likes, and then you grab onto it and start tugging and twisting your hand, spreading the spit, while sucking the head of his cock.

You sense Luke moving closer to you so you slightly turn your head and give him big innocent eyes for the camera. He murmurs a quick ‘fuck’, and ash looks at him. “Everything alright there Lukey?” He smirks devilishly.

If he was honest, it wasn’t, he loved to suck Ash’s cock, hear him moan, taste him, feel the weight of his cock in his mouth, on his tongue, ash’s fingers in his hair, please his daddy. But Ash chose you today. He also really loves your mouth on his cock so the whole thing was spurring jealousy and making him rock hard. He mumbles ‘yeah’ and palms himself, which can be seen on camera.

“Whatcha doin there baby boy?” Ash asks in a low, gravelly voice and Luke turns his eyes back to him. “Ah fuck.” He inhales sharply as you take more of his cock in your mouth, hitting the back of your throat without so much as a sound out of you. He presses his hand to the side of your head and his thumb caresses your cheek, “look at me.” He murmurs to you, and you do as you’re told. “So pretty baby.” He hums, smiling at you. “Luke, get your cock out. Let’s see how hard you are.” He smirks in Luke’s direction, already knowing, and tangling his fingers in your hair. Ash gently pulls you off, “watch Lukey, princess.” He whispers. Your hand still works his length as you kiss on this thigh, nibbling and sucking your little marks into his flesh.

Luke sees both of you looking at him intently. He pushes his underwear down and he sees the amused look on Ash’s face as he reveals the red of his cock from how hard he is. Ash motions him over, and he gently toys with Luke’s cock, running his fingers over the shaft. Luke whines a bit. “Daddy.”

“Baby boy gets so hard when you suck me off, Princess.” Ashton murmurs, “you wanna taste his cock too?” He asks, “it’s alright.” He nods, noting you’re hesitation. He watches you reach out and sit up on your knees, Luke steps closer slowly, until he’s close enough that you could easily switch between the two of them.

You handle Luke’s cock differently, placing wet kisses along the shaft to slick him up, before wrapping your lips around the head and slowly tugging the rest of his length. He moans so loud for you, “baby girl.” His fingers slide in your hair too.

Ash gently pulls your hair, pulling you off of Luke, “Gonna take care of both of us?” He asks, and you nod before sinking your mouth down on his cock. “God damn you’re so good on your knees,” he praises. “This will be worth it princess,” He promises.

Luke’s still got the camera rolling, and they both have a hand in your hair, each pulling you back to them when it’s too much to watch you suck on the other. They are both moaning, and both blow jobs are getting so sloppy. “That’s it baby girl,” Luke grunts. “Daddy… I need to cum.” Luke admits.

Ash pulls your head away from Luke, “not yet, gotta wait till I’m ready so we can paint our princess.” He smirks, then reaches over and stills your hand on Luke’s cock: “just squeeze a little princess, till I say otherwise.”

You go back to work on Ash’s cock. He’s past ever trying to guide you because you know so well what he likes, and he doesn’t mind when you switch it up on him. You can hear Luke whimpering as you slowly pulse your hand around his cock, and you know he’s watching you so intently working on Ash’s cock.

You slide your mouth all the way down and Ash grips tight in your hair, as does Luke, “fuck princess, all the way. What a good girl.” He praises and then grits his teeth as your tongue starts sliding back and forth over his balls. “Oh god.” He groans. Him and Luke both yank your head off His cock, “c’mon on then Luke.” You take that as your cue to drop their cocks and sit while they finish themselves.

Luke cums first, it hits your chest and neck, ash gets it on your chin and tits. And he’s grinning so wide at you. He pulls you in for a kiss, “pretty princess, all messy.” He mumbles against your lips. “Lukey will clean you up, won’t ya baby boy?”

Ash grips under your arms and he switches you spots. He’s on his knees in front of you, you’re sat in the chair. He grabs your thighs and pulls you so your ass is at the edge of the seat and then he pulls a leg over his shoulder. He reaches out and gives Luke a light tap on the butt. “Oh, sorry daddy, baby girl just looks so good.”

“I know she does.” Ash grins up at you, and starts kissing on your thigh, “already so wet.”

And then Ash is licking your clit, and Luke's tongue comes into contact with your breasts, cleaning up Ash’s cum first, he gets another pinch to his thigh and Luke brings his lips up to yours, kissing you and and pushing some of the cum onto your tongue. You moan into his mouth, and one hand goes into his hair and one goes into Ash’s. And it continues that way, Luke cleans up cum and kisses you and Ash continues to eat your pussy. Ash loves all your little whines, your moans of his name, and seeing Luke treat you so well too.

“C’mon baby girl, daddy needs you to cum for him.” He groans, sliding two fingers in and curling them in your g-spot. Your back arches up hard.

“Fuck, daddy.” You moan.

Luke doesn’t need instruction, his lips wrap around one of your nipples, and he teases it. Ash puts his lips and tongue back to your clit and he sucks, while continually curling his fingers into your g-spot. You let go of Luke’s hair in favor of grabbing Ash’s head with both hands. “Daddy, daddy, daddy…” you chant, Luke has to hold your hips when they start to buck against Ashton’s face. And then you’re cumming, Ash withdraws his fingers and gently licks your clit through it. “Holy fuck.” You whimper. “Thank you.

“Such a good girl.” Ash praises, sitting up and pulling Luke into a quick kiss, “good job baby boy.” Then he pulls you into him for another kiss. “I love you two.” Ash murmurs, holding the back of Luke’s head and the side of your neck. “Let’s see what Luke got on the camera, shall we babes?” He asks.

Taglist: @cocktail-calum @1dthewantedlove @september09241994 @youngblood199456 @lustingforwunder @calumsphile @neso-k @rosecoloredash @radmcqueen @justayoungandwisefangirl @itsnotmyblood @slimthicccal @softboycal @lietoash @pushthetide21 @5sosfanficrec @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @therealmrshale

gc tags: @sublimehood @sugarcoated-pain @5sosnsfw @angelbabylu @aspiringwildfire @irwinkitten @lashtoncurls @myloverboyash @singt0mecalum

masterlist || ashton || calum || luke || michael

wanna be tagged? go here

#poly!lashton #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #wtf luke #daddy ashton #daddy!ash #5sos #5 seconds of summer #idk if this will continue without engsgement #daddys home

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dr-archeville · 4 years ago

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INDY Daily: New Year, New Vaccination Plan for NC

Everything you need to know this morning

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It’s Thursday, December 31.

Hey y’all,

Happy New Year’s Eve! Should auld acquaintance be forgot and all that. There won’t be a newsletter in your inboxes tomorrow, so I wanted to say thanks to all of you for allowing me to write this newsletter for you for the past few months. As a writer, it’s really inspiring to have such an engaged and active readership, and I look forward to making this newsletter for y’all next year, too. By the way, my New Year’s Resolution is to not make any incredibly dumb factual errors in the newsletter, so let’s hope the fact that I incorrectly stated that the Georgia special election was being held today instead of next Tuesday was me just getting all the incredibly dumb factual errors out of my system before 2021 was upon us. New year, new newsletter, etc.

Like the INDY Daily? Share it with your friends and ask them to subscribe!

The INDY Daily is made possible by the INDY Press Club, which is helping us keep fearless, independent local journalism viable in the Triangle.

New Year, New Vaccination Plan

The North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services has issued updated guidance on who can get their COVID-19 vaccination and when. Yay? Meh? The new plan is way easier to understand than the old one, which was a series of tables tucked into a larger, jabillion-page plan that I had to read multiple times in order to only semi-understand, and despite its maddening specificity, still managed to be kind of vague (for example, that original plan offered no clarification as to whether journalists were essential workers, which is probably something you care way less about than I do). If only for being much easier to digest, I award the new plan a score of "Yay!"

Currently, North Carolina is almost through with Phase 1a of its vaccination plan, which focused on getting medical staffers and employees and residents of long-term care facilities vaccinated.

After that, we’ll move to Phase 1b, which will split folks up into three groups, with Group 1 having priority over Group 2, etc. Group 1 is anyone over the age of 75. Then we go to Group 2, which will consist of healthcare employees and frontline workers who are over 50. Per the state’s vaccinations website, this means "responders (e.g., firefighters and police officers), corrections officers, food and agricultural workers, U.S. Postal Service workers, manufacturing workers, grocery store workers, public transit workers, and those who work in the education sector (teachers and support staff members) as well as child care workers." Group 3 will just be Group 2, but without any age restrictions.

Then it’ll be time for Phase 2, where things will widen up a good bit. Much like Phase 1b, Phase 2 will be comprised of four ranked tiers. Group 1 will be those from 65 to 74 years of age, Group 2 will be folks from the age of 16 to 64 with high-risk medical conditions, which according to the state will include but not be limited to folks with "cancer, COPD, serious heart conditions, sickle cell disease, and Type 2 diabetes." Group 3 will be "anyone who is incarcerated or living in other close group living settings," which I’m pretty sure doesn’t include you and your five dirtbag roommates who decided to move to Carrboro and deal weed after you graduated (but I could be wrong!). Group 4 will consist of essential workers, which the state, using the CDC’s guidelines, includes *deep breath* "workers in transportation and logistics, water and wastewater, food service, shelter and housing (e.g., construction), finance (e.g., bank tellers), information technology and communications, energy, legal, media, and public safety (e.g., engineers), and public health workers."

Congratulations, you’ve read this newsletter all the way down to the part where I talk about Phase 3 of the vaccine! Your prize is that you now know that Phase 3 will include college students and students 16 and over.

After that, it’ll be time for Phase 4, which is everybody else.

And that’s how we’re all going to get vaccinated.

According to this semi-confusing data set from the CDC, North Carolina will have received a total of 573,300 doses of the vaccine by January 4 — enough for 286,650 people to get vaccinated. I have no idea how far that will move us through the state’s different vaccine phases, but 286,650 is about 2.75 percent of the state’s estimated population of 10.49 million people, and given that a lot of those people are under the age of 16 (the lowest age COVID vaccines have been approved for so far), that seems good?

Uh, anyway, happy New Year!

Statewide COVID-19 by the numbers: Wednesday, December 30

8,551 New lab-confirmed new cases (532,830 total; seven-day average trending down)

29,587 Completed tests (6.83 million total; most recent positive rate was 14.8 percent)

3,339 Current hospitalizations reported (seven-day average trending up; 6,729 total deaths)

63,571 Total vaccinated (First dose only; state data updated Tuesdays)

Quick Hits

Days after it was revealed that the city of Raleigh had spent $165,000 to protect Police Chief Cassandra Deck-Brown from March to November of this year, Chief Deck-Brown has announced her retirement. [INDY Week]

Are you familiar with the concept of "slow TV"? It’s a thing that’s really big in Scandanavian countries, where millions of people will tune in to watch a six-hour broadcast of, like, a train traveling through a mountainous pass. Well, now North Carolina has its own spin on slow TV, and it’s great. [WUNC]

Ari Berenbaum, the owner of Durham’s Ninth Street Bakery, wrote an op-ed about how, unfortunately, 2020 taught all of us how to hate. [INDY Week]

Every year, the British playwright Alan Bennett recaps his year for the London Review of Books and every year, it’s an incredible piece of writing. Read his 2020 entry before the year’s over. [London Review of Books]

Raleigh and Durham have been named two of America’s happiest cities by Men’s Health Magazine, with Raleigh coming in at number three and Durham coming in at 12. I have no idea why Men’s Health took it upon themselves to determine this, but it’s the thought that counts. [INDY Week]

This weekend’s weather: Rainy today, with a high of 57 and a low of 43. New Year’s Day will have light rain and temperatures in the mid-40s. The weekend will be cloudy but warmer, with a high of 69 and a low of 52 on Saturday and a high of 57 and low of 38 on Sunday.

Song of the day: "Kyoto" by Yung Lean If someone forced me to play them one song that encapsulated the vibe of a normal New Year’s Eve, I’d probably pick this one. This isn’t a song about New Year’s Eve or anything, but there’s a otherworldly, liberatory spirit animating this song, a feeling of capturing lightning in a bottle that I also associate with New Year’s Eve. Tonight I’m staying in, and you should too, and to make up for it, I’ll be listening to this song. See y’all next year!

— Drew Millard — Send me an email | Find me on Twitter

If you’d like to advertise your business to the Daily's 33,000-plus subscribers, please contact John Hurld at [email protected].

Love the INDY Daily? Support it by joining the INDY Press Club.

#news #NC #The INDY #COVID Vaccine #Vaccines

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takemedancingmaine · 5 years ago

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Safety Net

“But I think what gets me the most is the way that she said it.”

“Said what?” I asked.

“This morning while I was making breakfast, Ashley was on her way out and she just said, ‘Next time don’t sleep with someone I told you I think is cute.’

“She told you she thinks he’s cute?” I asked Mehar, watching as she walked across campus and I ate my lunch at my desk. I was actually just about to get up and start making a cup of tea.

“Well, yeah,” Mehar shrugged. “But Ruby, you know Ashley. She thinks every boy is cute and she never makes a move. I mean, if I never slept with anyone she found attractive I would never sleep with anyone. Besides, he approached me. Not the other way around.”

“Is this your way of telling me that you like a boy?”

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes as she waited at a crosswalk. “He’s no Niall, but he’s sweet and I wouldn’t mind sleeping with him again. Plus, he was telling me about tennis, trying to get me interested. I don’t think I’d hate it.”

“Tennis?” I asked, wondering if I’d missed something.

“Yeah,” she said. “He’s on the tennis team. He said he would have to get me out to a match, or we could just watch tennis on television and that way he could explain all of the rules to me.”

“And you’re considering watching sports,” I said incredulously. Who was my sister?

“I am.”

“So you do like him.”

I watched closely as she narrowed her eyes and then looked up as a car horn honked in the background on her end of the call.

“You like a boy,” I gasped. “Mehar! You like a boy!” I started bouncing up and down in the back corner of the kitchen while I waited for my water for my tea to boil. Louis glanced over at me and laughed quietly to himself when I shrugged and said, “My sister,” before I turned my attention back to Mehar. “My baby sister likes a boy! What's his name?”

Her face did that fluctuating thing it sometimes did. It was going back and forth between amusement, anger, frustration and, back to amusement. “Andy,” she said finally.

“Andy?” I asked with excitement colouring my tone. “Mehar, I need you to tell me everything. Please.”

My sister then spent the next hour detailing Andy in every possible way, including sexually--which I did not need to know, but she shared anyway. I was excited for her. Where I had been in relationships and had been in her shoes as well, Mehar had only ever been someone who used boys and then left them as soon as she was satisfied. She wasn’t scared of the emotional side, she just liked her lifestyle. In some way, I was kind of proud that she was doing what made her happy.

This boy, Andy, was tall with an athletic build, light wavy hair, and dimples. He seemed really cute, and from the sound of it, even though they started the relationship on a physical note, he likes her back. He offered to get her coffee this morning and even made sure she got home safely from his place, driving her back to her apartment with enough time for her to get to change and get to class.

She told me about how they’d texted all morning, too, which in itself was an anomaly after Mehar slept with someone. She usually cut all contact afterwards. This was all new territory for her.

Still, now that she was talking about Andy, telling me about his smile and the fact that she was willing to upset Ashley, her friend and someone she lives with, I felt like something shifted in my sister.

“I’m not all that worried that Ashley will be mad at me for sleeping with him. But Rubes, what happens if she finds out I’m going on a date with him?” She asked now.

“You’ve got a date scheduled?” I practically screeched. At this point, I had finished my lunch and was back at my desk, alternating between glancing at Mehar on the phone now that she was back at her apartment, and my computer screen.

“No, I’m saying if we go on a date,” she clarified. “What do I say then?” she asked.

Louis poked his head into my office and when he realised I was still on the phone he came around and stood beside me, so that he was in the frame, now.

“Hey, babe!” he smiled at my sister, who I swear swooned when she saw it. If she hadn’t just spent an hour telling me about a different boy, I swear.

“Hi Louis,” she blushed and then looked back at me. “Seriously, Ruby, what do I say?” she asked, almost desperate.

“About what?” Louis asked, already interested in what was happening.

“She might be going on a date with a boy that one of her roommates told her she thinks is cute,” I filled him in.

“Does she know him or does she just think he’s cute?” He asked, his contemplative face now situated firmly on his features. It was a testament to the kind of guy that Louis that he would willingly enter into this conversation. It might have something to do with him having five younger sisters, but it could also be that he’s just that good of a person.

“She just thinks she’s cute,” Mehar told him. “But she somehow found out I slept with him last night and already said a snide comment to me this morning.”

Louis shrugged. “So what?” He asked. “She doesn’t know him, and if you’ve got a real shot at something don’t let her stand in the way. She’s just imagining it, but you’re living it. Take that shot and run,” he insisted.

I nodded in approval. “Don’t let her dictate your happiness and what you want,” I echoed.

“So you’re saying if I want to, go on a date with him and see where it goes? Let Ashley be pissed off?” She asked as she looked between the two of us.

“Exactly,” Louis said.

“Yeah, and if what you’ve told me about Ashley is true, she’ll just move on to another cute boy in the near future anyway and forget all about Andy,” I added.

“That’s true,” she sighed. “I just don’t think I’ve ever wanted to see a boy at all after we’ve slept together, except to sleep together again, but this might be different and I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“And that’s fine, love,” Louis assured her. “We all have those moments in life where we have no idea what we’re doing. Look at Ruby, she came up here and didn’t know anyone, but she knew what she wanted and made it all happen. I didn’t know what I was doing when I decided to use my business degree and actually open a bakery. You can learn about things and see things from afar, but you can’t ever really know until you’re in the thick of it, doing it all yourself. But you’ve got people on your side, babe,” he assured her. “At the very least you’ve got me and your sister. That counts for something.”

“It does,” she said back. “It means a lot.”

“I’m glad,” Louis smiled. “Now I’m sorry, but your sister needs to help me with something because I’m a little slow on the uptake. Can she get back to you?” he asked.

“She can,” Mehar laughed. “Love you both.”

“Love you back!” Louis put his hand over his heart.

“Love you too, Meh,” I crooned and ended the call before swivelling in my seat and facing Louis head-on. “What can I assist you with, Tomlinson?” I asked.

“I just needed you to reset the computer system and start it up again, because I had my computer freeze on it again and I can’t reset it from my terminal, so I need you to,” he explained.

“Ah,” I nodded. “Let me just save this.” I saved the spreadsheet I was working in and then exited that and the computer program we used to track the business before I found the software to reset the whole backstage of the system.

“Is your computer off?” I asked him before clicking it.

“It is,” he nodded, “but it’s also installing updates…” He trailed off with a cringe. I laughed.

“Got it.” I clicked restart and the whole system began to shut down to repair itself and then restart in working order.

“So are you still on for game night at Weed’s Tavern?” I asked him while we waited.

“I am,” he nodded. “I’m rather excited. We’re going to play Sorry and I’m going to destroy your ass, Singh.”

“In your dreams, weirdo,” I shook my head. The computer was telling me that the system was back up now.

“Alright, go get yourself back to work,” I shoved him away. “You’ve got things to bake and salaries to pay.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved me off before stepping out and heading back to his own office.

I think I was starting to scare Niall.

In the three weeks since my panic episode on my way to Niall's, I'd had more. They were smaller scale-episodes, to be sure, but I was still having them.

Sometimes they would hit me when I was at home and I couldn't remember if I locked my doors the first two times I had checked. Sometimes they would hit me when I was lying in bed at night terrified I'd have my dream again.

Other times I would just be doing something simple, like stirring fried rice in a wok and Niall would come up behind me to hold me close and I would jolt and pull away like I'd been electrocuted like he had electrocuted me.

It had gotten to the point where Niall wasn't sure what would set me off, but neither was I, so we would just tiptoe around each other. It was odd. Ever since we’d met neither of us ever felt the need to act wholly and completely ourselves, and yet here we were, shadows of who we typically were.

That is not to say that Niall wasn’t helpful, he was. Him knowing gave me some sense of relief, lessened the guilt that tore away at my, but the circumstances under which he found out had rocked me to my core. It had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with what happened.

I could see that the burden of keeping this from our friends was weighing on him, too. He would drift off into his own thoughts and Liam would have to repeat himself two or three more times before he got Niall's attention back. Or he would make a face, just for a split second, whenever someone in the group suggested going out at night.

I was still having trouble believing I had told him. It felt like I had been shaken to my core like I was thrown off balance. I couldn’t believe I’d told him. I had no way of taking the story back, folding it neatly into the place I had been keeping it all this time. No matter what else happened, from here on out, I would remember Niall, because by telling him, he had become part of that story, of my story, too.

That weight was hanging over me. The thing about the truth, I was finding, was that even when you wanted to hide it away, it demanded to come out. Events had conspired to lead Niall to my truth. What worried me the most about this was that it meant somehow everyone else would be led to the truth.

That was another thing about the truth, the more people that knew it, the harder it was to hide it. It was just poised to fall out and be found out. Niall knowing was just the first step. It was causing me to constantly fret about what the next step was.

It didn't take Niall long to put together that Thursday night was self-defence class. If we ever got together on Thursday, it was always after seven-thirty, giving me enough time to get home and shower after class. It was the only day I'd put a time restriction on our going out or spending time together.

I was noticing how perceptive Niall was. It seemed he picked up on little things, tendencies of mine that had shifted since I’d been attacked. Whenever we left my house together he watched as I locked both front locks, only after checking at least the top back one. He noted that I never walked around with my hair up, only putting it up after I would get somewhere. He seemed to notice, for the first time, that I don't carry a purse--ever.

Just two days after my episode on that Thursday, he texted me during his lunch break and asked if he could come along with me to my class that night. I had dropped the pen I'd been using to the floor and had to take deep breaths to calm myself down before responding.

Which was how, six hours later, Brian met Niall and Niall was introduced to circuit training. I'd gotten many glances through the class, from both Brian and Niall, as a result of various tasks and workouts. It seemed both eyes were on me when Brian discussed how to use a structure (a wall, a fence, a porch railing, to your advantage when attacked. I steadfastly ignored both of their gazes.

I was genuinely impressed with how well Niall kept up with the class. The cardio wasn’t easy, even for someone like me who did workout every day. I knew Niall trained and played pickup soccer whenever he could, but I didn’t think he’d handle burpees and squat jumps like a pro.

After the session we were refilling our water bottles, sweat dripping from every orifice on our bodies and Niall grumbling about how sore he was going to be in the morning. He was red-faced and his hair was damp and hanging around his eyes. He looked cute as he struggled to catch his breath. Although, when I looked at his sweat-soaked shirt and caught a glimpse of his biceps, ‘cute’ was far from my mind as other thoughts flooded in.

I shook myself and forced myself to focus on his words.

“I'm just saying,” he said, “that I didn't realize it would be that hard of a workout. My knees are going to be rubbish for a week after this.”

I laughed as I stepped back from the fountain and he took my place. “I told you it would be a lot and that you didn't have to come.”

“I did have to come.” He levelled his gaze at me. I had to look away from the intensity of it, but I knew why he felt that way.

“I appreciate it.”

“I'll do anything to support you, Ruby,” he said as he pulled his water bottle back and taking a sip before he recapped it.

I blushed as we zipped up our coats and picked up our bags, slipping the straps over our shoulders.

“How was your first class?” Brian came up to us, walking out with us as we descended the steps to the main floor.

“Brutal, if I'm being honest.” Niall was wincing with each step but tried his best to hide it from both of us. It was sweet that he'd sacrificed his body in order to help me through whatever I was going through, but a part of me wanted to chastise him for being dumb enough to hurt himself.

Brian nodded. “Sorry,” he said before he held the door open for us, the frigid cold of January greeting us the moment the door opened.

“Does this mean you told someone?” Brian asked me quietly as I passed by him to get outside. Brian knew Niall was my boyfriend. I'd told him a while ago. When they met and I introduced Niall, Brian’s eyes lit up as he smiled and looked back and forth between us.

I nodded.

“You really did tell someone?” He asked his volume back to normal. He was a mixture of curious and impressed.

“It wasn't on purpose,” Niall said, answering for me. His words may have seemed bitter, but his tone was understanding. Brian picked up on it.

“Something happened? The nightmare?”

“I thought someone was following me and had a panic attack,” I said, my voice breaking on the last word. Niall placed his hand on my back. I could feel his comforting touch through my heavy jacket: it grounded me. I took a deep breath in and held it before slowly blowing it out.

“You okay? You need any extra sessions?” Brian asked.

“I don't know what I am,” I said truthfully. “I'll let you know about extra sessions though.” I shot him a grateful look. He nodded.

“How are you handling it?” Brian asked after a minute of us walking in silence. “You were pretty adamant that no one would find out.”

“I feel off,” I said. I could feel Niall's eyes on us, but he was silent, letting this conversation play out. It was a little unnerving, but also a comfort that he was still by my side. He didn't seem jealous that Brian knew quite a bit and he had been in the dark. He didn't seem to envy Brian's ability to help me feel physically more sound in my life. He was handling this very elegantly.

“That could be a good thing.”

“A good thing?”

Brian shrugged. “It may seem counterintuitive to you, but all I'm saying is now that someone else actually knows, you might finally be able to start moving past this, moving forward.”

“I was.” I sounded defensive, even to my own ears.

Brian didn't say anything for a minute, just watched me, his eyes narrowed in disbelief. “If you were, the wouldn't be affecting you as much. You wouldn't start having nightmares months after it happened.”

I frowned down at my feet but didn't respond.

“M’just saying,” He nudged his arm against mine. I just looked up at him. We were all quiet for a bit as well continued on.

“I'll see you next week unless you need me before then. It was nice meeting you, Niall,” he said eventually as he turned and started off down the street toward the train.

“You too, mate,” Niall agreed with a nod and a small wave.

“Thanks,” I called after his receding form.

Silence enveloped the two of us as we kept on toward my apartment. It was not uncomfortable, but it felt so loud that I kept running through conversation topics in my mind. I couldn't settle on anything though, so we kept on in silence.

“I like Brian,” Niall said eventually as we climbed my steps.

I punched in the code. “He's been pretty great,” I said.

“So the nightmare?” He asked, his voice low, even. “How bad is it if you told him?”

“It unnerved me enough that I called him after the first time I had it. And ever since then, if I have it again we do an extra session together. Mostly just on the punching bags and running through moves.” I turned the deadbolt and opened the door, Niall watching as I carefully locked the door behind us before heading up the stairs.

“How have you been hiding that from me?” He asked.

“The nightmare?” He nodded. We’d slept over with each other more than a handful of times. He wanted to know how he'd missed it. “I don't have it when I'm with you.”

“No?” He asked.

I shook my head, unlocking the top door and letting us in. We kicked off our shoes and dropped our bags to the floor.

“Why is that, d’ya think?” He asked, following me into the kitchen.

“Because ever since I've met you I've felt safe around you. Even when you were basically a stranger, something about you just makes me feel calm.”

Niall was quiet for a long time after I said this, just leaning back against the counter as I moved around and started making a quick pasta. I could feel his eyes on me.

“Do you want ice?” I asked once the water was heating on the cooktop. I was absolutely changing the subject. No regrets.

“Huh?”

“Your knee,” I clarified when he bunched up his face in confusion. It was cute.

“Oh. Yeah.” He nodded. “If you have any.”

I went to the freezer and pulled out a bag of peas. I grabbed a tea towel and wrapped it around the bag before handing it over to Niall. He smiled and went over to my table, where he sat and propped his leg up on the chair beside him and I watched as he gently placed the ice on his knee, heard him sigh as he did.

“Is it always that hard?”

“The class?”

“Yes.” I nodded. “Brian’s pretty intense.”

“And all of the informational stuff?”

“Some weeks it’s more, some weeks it's less.” I shrugged. “Knowledge is confidence. It's also safety. The more we know how to protect ourselves the less it'll probably be necessary to protect ourselves. The thing is that we’ll probably never need these skills, but knowing them protects us, too.”

“You feel safer?”

“A little?” It came out like a question.

Niall took the peas off of his knee, stood up slowly with a little wince, and then came over to me. He put his hands on my arms and guided my gaze up to meet his.

“Well you are,” he says. “Safe.”

Looking into his eyes, seeing the sincerity on his face, I really felt like it was true. “I know.”

Three weeks later, even though I had felt it to be true at that time, that I knew I was safe, and even though I felt safe around Niall, the panic attacks still happened. I still felt unsafe even though I knew I was perfectly fine.

Now I was sat and watching him as he glanced up at me for the millionth time. He was trying to be sneaky, pretending he was looking at the clock behind me, or just looking around casually, as if just realising the sun had gone down outside the windows or noticing that there was a new song playing softly from the speaker he kept on his counter.

I think it bothered him that I was still afraid, because if he made me feel safe if my classes made me feel safe it didn't make sense why I was so on edge. As hard as he tried to understand it so that he could help me as best as he could, nothing seemed to fit together to make it make sense. I didn't even understand it. It didn't surprise that he couldn't figure it out either.

“Niall,” I said now as he glanced up again and pretended it was because he heard something outside.

He met my eyes and looked sheepish, his cheeks flushing when I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Sorry,” he apologised and looked down at the first in his lap. I had been leaning with my head on his shoulder until I moved and was lying down so that we were perpendicular to each other, my legs tangled with his which were perched on the coffee table.

“Don't apologise.” I nudged him with my foot.

“I know I just… I feel helpless.”

I propped myself up on my elbows so I could better see him. “Helpless?”

“Yeah.” He moves the guitar to the floor and pulled my legs up into his lap, his fingers dancing lightly across my calves. “I mean, I don't know what to do to help you. I think I do. And then I don't. It's literally eating me up that I can't help you when you need me to.”

“I don't need you to help me, Niall. I'm fine.”

"Fine,” he repeated and I wondered why it was I kept coming back to this, a word that you said when someone asked how you were but didn't really care to know the truth. His tone alone, low and clear, let me know just how much he didn't believe me.

He didn’t say anything else. He just studied my face and eventually nodded and then leaned over to pull me close to him, wrapping me up in his arms.

“So what are you reading?” he asked.

I had downloaded a book to my phone and was reading it as we lounged around. We had cooked together, made a tofu stir-fry, and then when it took us an hour to try and decide on a show we’d ended up reading and playing guitar and listening to 70s and 80s rock softly from the speaker that was still playing.

“It’s a non-fiction about the Cambodian genocide called First They Killed My Father.”

“Is it any good?” he asked.

“Its unbelievably good,” I said, nudging my legs against his, enjoying being snuggled against his side. “It’s world-altering knowing the things that humans have done to each other. I can’t imagine living in that kind of situation.”

“I’ll have to read it after you,” he said.

I nodded.

“It’s definitely worth the read. I’ve gotten more and more into non-fiction recently, too,” I told him. “Also,” I glanced up at the clock, “I’m definitely staying the night tonight. I’m way too tired to make it home at this point.”

Niall smiled warmly at me. He’d looked at the clock enough times throughout the evening that he knew it was approaching midnight. Plus, we’d discovered that we liked the intimacy of sleeping together. There was something calming about it.

“Okay.”

I yawned and snuggled further into Niall and further into the couch, my eyes more focused on the backs of their lids than the words on the screen in front of me.

“Long day today?” His smirk made me smile softly as I looked up at him. His hair had long since flopped over into his eyes. Earlier, it had been floofed up by his constantly running his hands through it all day, but as the evening progressed the floof deflated into a messy mop atop his head. It was endearing.

“Louis’ been in the Bucktown location for the past three days since the front of house manager has been out. She had her baby two weeks early, and everything is fine, but the temporary replacement can’t come in early because she’s got another gig and it’s become this whole big thing. He’ll be back next week, but it’s just been a lot for him, and for me.”

“Yeah, he mentioned he’s not been sleeping well.” Niall nodded.

“I can imagine. He’s even tried to get his sister Daisy to call in sick from work for a few days to help him out. He’s handled it though, found someone to take up a lower position for the time being while one of his cashiers fills in, in the interim.”

“He does know what he’s doing. I worry about him though.”

“He’s got the weekend off, but I have a feeling he’s going to try and work from home the whole time.”

Niall chuckled. “Sounds about right.”

“But you don’t have to worry, you’ve got enough on your plate. You’ve got two days off as well.”

“I’m going to take full advantage of them.”

“Good,” Niall said.

We sat together in peace for a little longer, Niall’s gaze lifting from his guitar to me less frequently. Only slightly so, but it counted. Eventually, it got to a point where my eyes would not stay open no matter how hard I tried. The last thing I remembered was Niall carrying me to bed and him climbing in beside me.

“Ruby!”

It was the terror in his voice that sunk fear into every fibre of my being. It was the terror in his voice that pulled me out.

I opened my eyes and took a deep breath, but I felt myself shaking all over, I could feel the wetness from my tears on my face and knew that my throat was raw because I’d been in the dream, and had been screaming. I sat up as I brought myself back to reality and focused on Niall’s eyes as he watched me, a sadness sinking into him that I couldn’t even begin to describe. He looked like he was in physical pain as his own breathing, much like mine, was forcefully returned to a semi-normal pattern.

I wiped my tears away and hiccuped as I turned to face him.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He pulled my hands away from my face gently and kissed my cheeks, my forehead, my chin, my nose, and eventually--delicately--my lips for the briefest of moments. His eyes met mine in the darkness of the room, of his room, and I saw the helplessness that took up within them in the last few minutes.

“Do not apologise to me, love,” he whispered back. “Please don’t ever apologise.”

He pulled me close and held me as my body relaxed, the adrenaline leaving my system and leaving me feeling weak and tired as I finally stopped shaking. I sagged against him and took deep breaths, filling my senses with him, using him to ground myself and reassure myself that I’d woken up, that I was safe, that I was no longer in danger, that I hadn’t been in danger for months.

“Is it always like that?” he asked after a while.

I nodded against his chest. “Yes.”

His breath left him in a shaky whoosh, but he held me steady.

“I’m so sorry you’re going through this love,” he said. “I wish I could fix it.”

“It’s okay,” I assured him. “It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not okay,” his voice was soft, but his tone was firm. “You waking up crying is not okay.”

“I know,” I conceded his point. “I know, but… but I meant that it’s okay that you don’t know how to fix it.”

“I didn’t know it was that bad…” he trailed off. “I had no idea.”

This was the first time I’d ever had the dream while staying with Niall. Somehow, just his presence wasn’t enough anymore. Somehow, whatever adverse effect he’d had on the dream before was nullified now. Whatever the reason, there was no longer a safe space for me, awake or asleep.

“What happens if you fall asleep again?” he asked, worry clear in his tone.

“It only comes once a night,” I reassured him. “I’m in the clear now.”

“You’re sure,” he asked, pulling back to meet my eyes again.

I nodded. “I’m sure.”

“Okay.”

After a while, we had calmed enough to lie back down and attempt to find sleep, but I couldn’t. I ended up just pretending to sleep until morning. All I could think about was that the last safe space I’d had was stripped from me and that I wasn’t sure I’d ever sleep soundly again.

#it has been WAY WAY too long #and I'm so sorry about that #I'm honestly not sure when you'll get another chapter #but here we are anyway #please leave me some feedback if you liked/didn't like it #and thank you for sticking with me if you're still out there reading this #fic: only ticket home #fic: OTH #OTH17 #1dff

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octobersmog · 6 years ago

Text

A Walk In The Park

Summary: Hank lets Connor walk Sumo sometimes, which leads to him meeting the reader, who also has a cute doggo

Word Count: 948

Pairing: Connor X Reader

Warnings: None

A/N: oKaY, so i thought of this in the shower and i NEEDED to write it. i feel like some of the dialogue + the ending is a lil meh, but i really didn’t know what else to do with it lmao. also i tried vv hard to keep in character with this one so i hope it worked lol (this is kinda an au?? set after the android revolution and everyone’s happy lmao)

Sumo seemed to love the park, as did Connor, but not as much as he loved simply walking lovable St. Bernard. It was something Hank let him do at least once a week, and Connor loved it. They always took a simple route from Hank's house to the nearby park, do a lap, and back home again. Connor had tried to convince Hank to come along with them a few times, only to be waved off by Hank, muttering something about paperwork he had to finish.

And that was how Connor was spending his Saturday, walking through the park, with Sumo padding along beside him. The park was pretty busy for a Saturday, full of families or other dog walkers. A couple of gardeners were strewn throughout the park, tending to the blooming flowerbeds and pulling up weeds.

Detroit had become a much more peaceful place in the last few months, now home to a population equal parts human and android. It hadn't been easy getting there, but Connor was one of the many androids glad for it. In the wake of the revolution, androids had been given equal rights to humans, as well as a voice in politics. Connor still found it strange at times that he now owned an apartment, and a job at the DPD that he was actually paid for.

Connor paused as Sumo tugged on the leash, having spied a sizeable stick in the grass. He knelt, unclipping the St. Bernard from his leash. Sumo shot off in the direction of the stick, returning seconds later and dropping it at Connor's feet. Connor threw it, watching him shoot away after the thrown stick, tail wagging furiously.

Nearby, a family sat on a blanket in the grass, laughing as the children chased each other around the trees. It reminded him of the picture Kara had sent of her, Alice and Luther in Canada, all three smiling at the camera.

His thoughts were interrupted by the ragged panting of Sumo, stick clamped firmly in his mouth. A small dachshund stood beside him, almost minute beside Sumo. "Where did you come from?" he asked, crouching down and petting the small dog. The dog simply looked at him, its tail wagging lazily.

Connor looked up as a shout reached his ears, his eyes landed on the person jogging towards him, leash in hand.

"Is this one yours?" he asked as they skidded to a stop next to him, panting slightly.

"Yes, he is," they replied, bending down and clipping the dog onto its leash. "He's also a bit of a brat."

For a second, Connor couldn't tell if they were being serious or not, but relaxed slightly as they laughed, reaching down to pet their dog's head. "He's a brat, but we love him."

They seemed to only just realise that Sumo was there, which Connor found a bit funny, given Sumo's size. "Oh my God, is that a St. Bernard?" They dropped down and started petting the large dog, cooing. "I love St. Bernards."

"His name is Sumo," he said, finding his tongue. "But he's not mine. I walk him for my...friend."

They hummed in response, ruffling Sumo's fur before straightening up again. "Sorry, I got a little distracted by the dogs," they laughed. "I'm Y/N."

"My name is Connor," he replied, offering a small smile. That was another thing he found a little difficult at times; making small talk, though he supposed he would only get better as time went on.

"Nice to meet you, Connor." They smiled at him, reaching into their pocket and pulling out their phone as it vibrated loudly. Their brow furrowed slightly as they tapped the screen, reading. "Crap, gotta split. Let's go, buddy."

They turned and jogged back though the park with the little dachshund trotting along beside them, disappearing around the corner, leaving Connor completely bewildered. He hadn't met very many people on his walks with Sumo, but that was certainly one of the more interesting ones. He started down the path again, Sumo padding along beside him. As they neared the end of the park, he wondered if he might see Y/N and their little dog again.

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It wasn't until the next Saturday that he saw them again.

Despite the fact that they'd only met for a few minutes, he had to admit he was curious about them, and he'd begun to wonder if their meeting was only a one-off. He found them on a park bench, the small Dachshund basking in the sun at their feet.

"Hello, Y/N," he greeted, perching on the bench next to them.

"Hey," they replied, fidgeting with their hands, as if they were nervous.

"Are you alright?" he questioned. "You seem anxious."

"Yeah," they agreed. "It's just work, is all. New job, you know?"

"That's understandable. It's quite normal to experience some kind of anxiety when starting a new job." He didn't quite know what else to say. He knew he should offer some kind of comfort, but there lay the problem; he didn't know what to say.

"That's true, I guess." Y/N shifted slightly, twisting to check on the dachshund nearby.

Connor racked his brains for something to say. He didn't want to seem rude, but at the same not too eager.

"Coffee," he blurted. "We should get coffee and talk about this more. If you'd like to," he added, a faint blue blush blooming on his cheeks.

Y/N smiled widely. "I'd love to, Connor."

They stood up, grabbing his hand as the dogs milled around them, tails wagging happily. As he found himself being pulled along, Connor hoped that Hank would forgive him being late, just this once.

#detroit become human #dbh #detroit become human x reader #detroit become human imagine #connor dbh #connor dbh x reader #connor dbh imagine

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whokenobi · 3 years ago

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I’m so happy and proud of Seb, he is on fire and just looks like he’s so proud of himself (in the most humble way). He deserves it.

As far as Ale goes, I never cared or followed her. His relationships don’t really mean anything to me. He’s not engaged or married so what’s really the point of caring about gfs/flings outside of gossip - which can be fun but meh it’s not that deep.

Coming here and reading (when I’m bored, thank you for the entertainment mod and god speed!!) … it’s crazy how this girl went from having a good man and a glow up if you will, to kinda just ruining it for herself. Someone mentioned that her fan pages have fled too and went dark. to me it’s kinda wild to see how the internet can really just turn against you in a split second and then you go from being relevant to people not giving a shit. It’s gotta be crazy for her. And it’s gotta be even more frustrating when your success is dependent on other people (ie, mooching of her bro and Tamara, famous bf, Jon etc). This is why I can’t pay attention to her. Everything is just a hand out. As a woman I work my ass off to be independent so it’s a joke to me.

I admire Seb as my family came from Hungary to the US for practically the same reasons he came here. I’m supportive of him and if he likes this girl fine but I don’t have too. And it’s the same with anyone he dated. When he decides to get married to someone I’ll start really getting in the weeds (maybe)

I agree with you on this. Maybe I’m too hyper independent, but I would not be able to stand my success only existing because I know other people and not for my own hard work. (But I also value hard work and am not a social climber looking for the easy way out). I think it’s sad if he really did like her and she very clearly was only ever interested in exploiting her connection to him to her own gain.

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kek-eek · 7 years ago

Text

Sing | S.M

Requested?: No. Word Count: 1,407 Pairing: Shawn Mendes / Reader

Masterlist

Summery: An au where the reader is in a college acapella group and is competing in Worlds. The problem is, there’s this cute brunette boy on the Canadian team who is determined to score a date with her.

Moonlight pooled across the dark fields packed with people from all around the world. The stars were almost completely drowned out by the blinding lights of the stage. Acapella was an art form rarely recognized for its brilliance. The melding of harmonic voices at just the right tempo and beat to create an almost exact replica of a song, minus the instruments. It was Y/N’s goal to join the Barden Bellas at Barden University. And while she liked to think that she dreamt big, she could never have thought that she would be performing alongside these amazing girls at Worlds.

The crowd was like on big entity. It swarmed, its voice thrumming to a crescendo with ever stunt pulled in a performance that was much appreciated. Y/N had been waiting her whole life for this. She was sure of it. So why was she so scared?

Several groups shuffled around backstage. The Canada group was positioned across the pit backstage from the Bellas. Their vests sported the signature maple leaf of Canadians and their sweaty faces matched the red of their jackets, despite hours having passed since their performance.

Y/N was ensnared in a group of chanting Bellas. The bellowed and hollered for moral, their arms around the other. It lifted Y/N’s spirits some, but the hard pit of nerves still wound itself tightly in the depths of her belly. She wondered if she would be able to steal a moment and seclude herself, almost positive in knowing that, if she could just think, everything would be much better. Y/N had always been a pro at thinking.

“We’re going to go out there and kick some German ass!”

The war cry vibrated among the group of girls, who raised their voices to match Beca’s. Their eyes sparkled eagerly with the thirst for victory. Y/N could tell that she wasn’t the only nervous one from the minutely shifting of the group. Soon, they all separated, and Y/N took this as her chance to escape.

“And whe’ do yeh think you’e goin’?” Fat Amy called. Her arms swung mellowly by her sides and she made her way through the crowds of people to Y/N, who had hoped the crowd would have swallowed her whole. The girl smiled shyly, pressing down the lapels of her vest and clearing her throat.

“N-no where. I was just going to find the b-bathroom.” Y/N flashed an uneasy smile and an unrecognizable expression crossed the aussi blonde’s face. Her grin widened impossibly and she folded her arms across her chest.

“Oh. I know whe’ you’e goin’.” She chimed, wagging a finger playfully at the novice singer. Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, peering up at Amy through her lashes. Did Fat Amy really know where she was going? To find somewhere to cool off and take a few steady breaths? To disappear without a trace, only to turn up when the group had begun to wonder where she had gone?

Y/N made to interrupt, but Amy beat her to the punch. “You’e goin’ tah meet tha’ Canadian tha’s been eyein’ you.” Upon Y/N’s befuddled look, Amy sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. “I’d think he ha’ been eyein’ meh, bu’ i’m off the market so...” He accent grew thick, and she lifted a hand and pointing over your shoulder. She spoke as if the boy would know that she was dating Boomer.

A shiver ran up your spine. Someone had been watching you nearly break down? You groaned inwardly. If there had been any attraction, it was most certainly gone now. Spinning on your heel, you followed Amy’s line of sight to the Canada booth. At first, you saw nothing. The people garbed in white and red mingled and grabbed refreshments, and none seemed to be paying any mind to you and Amy. But at Amy’s incessant badgering, you looked closer and saw what she was talking about. Or should you say, who.

The man was a giant. He seemed to tower over most everyone who passed him. He moved limberly among the Canada crowd, his limbs lanky yet seeming reasonably sized for his body. Despite him looking lanky, he was packed with hard muscle. He systematically brushed loose brown curls out of his face and his brown eyes were warm and inviting. You caught the minutely looks he sent your way and waved once when his eyes met yours.

“He’s cute.” You said simply, a warm blush lighting your cheeks as he shamelessly looked back at you. Fat Amy slapped your arm and you yelped, cradling it close. “He’s ah lot more than cute! He’s one hunky mahn. And if you don’t grahb tha’, I might just have toh dihve in and apologize to Boomer latah.” She said. “Amy!” You scolded, though you agreed with her. The man was much more than cute. He was god-like.

After escaping Amy, you had camped out in a tight corner of lawn wedged between to tents. Your head leaned back against one of the many walls of the stage. You felt drained. Your mind kept going back to the man and his inviting appearance, and then it split to the performance. It certainly didn’t help that this boy was your competition. You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply. The air smelled of smoke and weed. Nothing too surprising.

The gentle click of boots caught your attention, but you didn’t open your eyes until the sound softened upon the soil you sat upon. “Are you ok?”

You couldn’t place having ever heard the voice before. The figure cast a shadow of your, blocking out the moon. “I will be if you would stop blocking the sun.” You said irritably. The person’s voice faltered before continuing again, persistent for conversation. “It’s nighttime, you know.”

You inhaled irritably, opening your eyes to meet the person in front of you. It was the man from the Canada booth. “Hey,” You began. “I know you. You were watching me.” You closed your eyes again and leaned your head back.

The man invited himself to sit. You could tell from the rustle of clothing and sweet cologne he gave off as he settled beside you. “Yeah. But beauty tends to attract the eye.” A warm blush tickled your cheeks and you hoped it was dark enough for it to be concealed. “You know,” The boy said. “You seemed a lot more shy when I was looking at you.”

You opened your eyes and turned to look at him. You had misjudged the proximity in which the two of you were in, and your nose ended up brushing his nose, lips just inches apart. “Well, being confronted by the competition tends to make me snappy.” The boy considered this, turning his head away.

“Then don’t think of me as the competition.” He said, turning to look back at you. You arched an eyebrow, folding your arms across your chest. “Everyone here is competition.” You said crossly, gesturing to the moving people just beyond the opening of your current hiding place.

“You’re making it very hard to help you.” He pointed out begrudgingly.

“Maybe I don’t want help.”

“If you didn’t want help, you would have kicked me out by now.”

“You don’t know me.”

“That’s true. Whats your name?”

“Whats your name?”

The man smiled brightly and stuck out a large hand. You admired the rings decorating his long fingers. “I’m Shawn.” He said by way of introduction. You chewed the inside of your cheek for a second before meeting his hand with your own. His hand engulfed your own, but you quite liked the way they fit together. “I’m Y/N.”

Shawn retracted his hand before placing an arm around your slender shoulders. You both turned to look at the sky. “Now i’m not the competition. I’m your friend.” For some reason, this sent a shock of laughter through you. Shawn caught on and the two of you were caught in a fit of laughter for no reason at all.

As you enjoyed each others presence, an announcement blared to life. “Barden Bellas on deck. I repeat Barden Bellas on deck.”

As you rose to your feet, you found that you were not afraid. “Well, wish me luck.” You sighed, turning to look at Shawn. You regretted leaving him, but somehow knew this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him. Shawn smiled cheekily. “No thanks. You wont need it.”

#shawn #shawn mendes #mendes #mendes army #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes fluff #pitch perfect #barden bellas

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peebeebitchers · 8 years ago

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Why Ryan Ross is SUN and Brendon Urie is the MOON ™ Masterpost

Okay, so SOME people seem to have this idea that RYAN is the MOON and BRENDON IS THE SUN?????

This post is mostly for @howrydenprobablybrokeup . I have stood by this theory for years. My goal in life is to educate the masses, and to prove to everyone, that Ryan Ross is a shining ray of light and brendon urie is a beautiful moon. After some encouragement from mutuals including mostly @heymoonrydenwasreal l (as well as @chaotic-lilac-skies , @rainbowryro , @anthropormorphiccarrot and @goldenbrendonurie) I feel extremely compelled to compile my evidence into one really really fucking long post, that you will all be reading for days. Sorry. (also I apologize to @percussion-n-stuff because he doesn’t even like ryden, but he still follows me even though I flood his dash with it all day)

The important thing to pay attention to is who wrote the song and who they’re referring to. For example, if Ryan wrote a song and said “ You are as beautiful as the moon is on a summer night” (i made that up) then that would point to Brendon being the moon, but if he wrote a lyric “I understand that as the sun, I can’t shine forever” (also made up) that would point to Ryan being the sun. This would obviously be reversed if The song is written by Brendon. These are all just theories, but that’s how I plan on framing most of this evidence.

Pretty. Odd (aka the gay weed bible)

There are a LOT of references to the sun and moon in this album as you likely know, but the majority of it points to Ryan being the sun and Brendon being the moon.

Nine in the Afternoon

This song is mostly about Drugs and being happy writing songs again overall. The only line that is remotely sun and moon theory Ryden in this song is the chorus.

“Cause it’s nine in the afternoon,

your eyes are the size of the moon”

This line is implying both beauty and dilation. So even though that thought is weak, I feel like it works for this.

She’s a Handsome Woman

Again there isn’t a lot of sun and moon theory evidence in this song at all. While this isn’t very sun and moon theory, I feel like it should be mentioned and does have a very weak bit of evidence in it. The only thing I could think of was this:

“Jealous orchard,

The sky is falling off the ceiling

While I’m tucking fibs into a cookie Jar”

So, “Jealous orchard” is about how one of them is jealous (Brendon probably bc Ryan was with Keltie at this point I believe)

“The sky is falling off the ceiling” means that the sky (i.e. sun and moon) is going to be used for a different purpose. Seeing as this is one of the first tracks on the album, it could be warning fans about all of the metaphors and allusions to sun and moon that will be in the album.

“While I’m tucking fibs into a cookie Jar” also about Jealousy.

Do You know What I’m seeing?

Very little sun and moon theory evidence. Though a lot of the song is about the sky, weather etc. which goes with sun and moon there isn’t much supporting either side of the argument. I’m still going to talk about one repeated verse though.

“I know it’s mad, but If I go to hell

will you come with me or just leave?

I know it’s mad, but if the world were ending

Would you kiss me or just leave me?

Just leave me?”

This is ryan asking brendon if he’s committed to the relationship

“If I go to hell” contributes to “Ryan is the sun” idea. The sun is hot, hell is hot etc.

I Have Friends in Holy Spaces (Written by Brendon)

The first substantial sun and moon evidence and very solid at that. I have to set this up a little so that the actual evidence will make the most sense. This song is pretty clearly about the singer/ writer (Brendon) talking to/about a new love (Ryan)

“You remind me of a few of my famous friends

Well, that all depends what you qualify as friends”

I mean...it’s pretty obvious. (*cough* friends with benefits *cough*)

“Take a chance take your shoes off, dance in the rain

And I was flashing around the news spread all over town

I’m not complaining that it’s raining, I’m just saying

that I like it a lot”

People shipping ryden

“The rain” represents people sort of being on their case about Ryden, abd Brendon is saying “I don’t really care, you shouldn’t either, just dance in the rain”

“If the sun would come out and

sing with me”

Brendon not only wrote, but also sings this song. The next song is Northern Downpour in which ryan sings a lot

Brendon is asking ryan to sing with him so he does!

Sorry, I’m not crying, I just go something in my eye

Northern Downpour (By George Ryan Ross III)

How do I even set this one up??? I apologize if I get so many tears on the screen that my computer breaks and I have to stop this post. Again sorry.

There actually isn’t a shit ton of sun/moon theory here ( ots of seattle lore though if you want to know about that go here)

“Hey moon please forget to fall down

“Hey moon don’t you go down”

Tensions were high in the band when this song was written

“Hey brendon don’t leave me”

“I care a lot about you Brendon”

When the Day Met the Night aka the song that inspired sun/moon theory (Written by Ryan)

WOWZA there is soooo much to talk about in this song. Let’s just get into it.

“When the moon found the sun

All was golden in the sky”

When Brendon and Ryan met, all was good.

“When the sun found the moon

She was drinking tea in her garden”

When Ryan (the sun) met Brendon (the moon) he was chill. Just drinking his tea. C A S U A L

“When the moon found the sun,

he looked like he was barely hanging on

But her eyes saved his life”

When brendon (the moon) met ryan (the sun) he was having a hard tim, but Brendon’s love/looks (“her eyes”) helped him get through it

Brendon saved Ryan

i’m not crying, you are.

“So he said ‘would it be all right

If we just sat and talked for a little while

If in exchange for your time

I gave you this smile?”

Ryan asked Brendon to go out?? With him/be with him for a little while

In return Ryan would be happy (aka “the smile” have you seen that boys smile of course Brendon agreed)

“So she said ‘That’s OK

As long as you can make me a promise

Not to break my little heart,

Or leave me all alone in the summer’

Brendon basically told Ryan, “I’ll be with/date you if you promise to not break my heart” and so yeah

I’m crying because Of what happened after this song. AGH

I’m sorry guys

“Well he was just hanging around

and then he fell in love

And he didn’t know how

But he couldn’t get out”

Ryan was just doing his thing

And then he met Brendon and was like “wtf, this d00d is hawt af”

And he was kinda caught off guard

Overall, the song talks more about the sun and how the sun is feeling than the moon, which points to the fact that Ryan is the sun. Ryan wouldn’t be able to write from Brendon’s point of view. gUYS RYAN IS THE SUN!!!???

She Had the World

You can’t really follow up When The Day Met the Night with anything, because no song will have that much good old evidence as that song, but I can still try.

“Because when I look in her eyes

I just see the sky

When I look in her eyes

Well I, just see the sky”

Written by ryan

Very @brendon

The moon is in the sky

(yes I’m aware this could also work for Brendon being the sun)

And that’s all for Pretty. Odd Folks. Remember to always smoke weed with your lovers, reinvent love and if you’re going then to go go gooo.

Vices and Virtues Main tracks (aka, I’m bitter af Ryan why’d you hurt meh lik tis?!!?!??)

Wow this album is salty AF. oh boi. You can just taste the bitter in brendon’s voice. Obviously all of this is written by brendon so that

The Ballad of Mona Lisa

“Say what you mean

Tell me I’m right

Let the sun rain down on me”

Brendon is saying “stop lying

You know that i’m the one that’s right in this situation

Let Ryan (the sun) come back

Memories

“When July became december

their affection fought the cold

And they couldn’t quite remember

what inspired them to go”

“When July became December” when it became winter. The sun often doesn’t come out as much or in some places goes away entirely during winter. Ryan (the sun) left the band.

“Their affection fought the cold” supports this

“They” is both Ryan and Brendon, but especially brendon seeing as he wrote the song

Trade Mistakes

“May I never sleep tonight as long

As you’re still burning bright

If I could trade mistakes for sheep

Count me away before you sleep”

I won’t be able to rest as long as you’re still in my mind

What burns bright? The sUN

I made a lot of mistakes, and I won’t be able to sleep until I get them off my chest.

“Burning Bright” could be refering to success or being angry/upset/having unfinished business with brendon

Could this one be more obvious??

Always

This one could go either way, but I’m still gonna talk about it because I feel like It works better for brendon-is-the-moon-theory.

“I’m the light blinking at the end of the road

Blink back to let me know

(it was always you)”

The moon is a light in the dark

A light at the end of the tunnel if you will

He’s saying he’ll get back together if that’s what Ryan wants

Brendon was so not subtle with this album oh my god. This song is literally about a failed romance. This whole album is about a failed romance boi.

The Calendar

This song is confirmed to be about the split, and oh boy, is it ryden. Ryden af. Oh my god.

“Summer’s on its death bed”

Pretty. Odd era is over

Sun has gone away

“At night your body is a symphony

“And I’m conducting”

Night -- the moon

Obviously referring to sex

yeah

Sarah Smiles

Now you might be reading this, and thinking....bitch??? This is the song Brendon wrote for Sarah??? What do you mean? The thing is this song is actually very ryden and if you’re curious as to why, please send me an ask and I will make another post detailing that.

“I’m just a guy living on my own

Waitin’ for the sky to fall

Then you go and change it all, though”

I was all alone, waiting for the sky (the sun/ryan) to fall (come back to me)

Then you go and change it all (Sarah came ‘round and was like yo) and so she changed the plans

Vices and Virtues Bonus Tracks (aka the saltiest of Brendon’s discography)

Stall Me

Oh boy. This is possibly the most sun and moon theory thing oh oi.

“Why would you bring me in

If you knew what you'd become

So curse everyone and everything,

even the sun”

Do I even have to explain?

Why would ryan let him in the band if he knew he was eventually going to leave?? Fuck him (the sun)

What would brendon be referring to?

What other situation did someone let him into something and then become something else?

Why are you cursing the sun Brendon?

Because the sun is George Ryan Ross III ™

Turn Off the Lights

“Turn off the lights, turn off the lights

Turn on a show for me tonight

...

So shoot a star on the boulevard tonight

I think I’ll figure it out with a little more time

...

Turn off the lights

Turn on the charm for me tonight”

Get rid of the sun (RYAN)

“Shoot a star...tonight ” look for someone new, tonight, with out the sun.

“Turn off the lights” get rid of the sun “turn on the charm for me tonight” turn on the charm, look for someone new etc.

Bittersweet

“All that hate is gonna burn you up

It keeps me warm at night”

So he’s dissing ryan

What’s hot? The sun.

It keeps me warm at night--reference to romance

Wow, brendon you’re so subtle

That’s all for Vices and Virtues, remember that Brendon is a salty vampire and to not break his heart.

Death of a Bachelor (aka Frank sinatra is sucking my dick behind a nightclub Ryan I miss you please come back, I’m crying)

Death of a Bachelor

“Do I look lonely?

I see the shadows on my face”

Yes you look lonely brendon

You did lose weight, the weight of 5 bandmembers

The shadows on your face are from not having the sun around anymore.

yeah

Crazy=Genius

“You can set yourself on fire

But you’re never gonna burn burn burn”

@ryan

What burns?

The sun

Golden Days

“Oh, don’t you wonder when the light begins to fade?

And the clock just makes the colors turn to grey

Forever younger growing older just the same

All the memories that we make will never change”

“The light” the sun has gone away

I feel the same as I did before but now everything is different

Impossible Year

This song was written during Vices era and oh my gosh

“There’s no sunshine, this impossible year

Only black days

And sky gray

And clouds full of fear

Storms full of sorrow

That won’t disappear

Just typhoon and monsoons

...there’s no you and me

This impossible year”

No sunshine??

Who’s gone now?

There’s no you and me???

gUYS

Ryan is the sun ™ confirmed

Wow

Brendon

Tone it the fuck down

Subtle much?

The end of Death of a Bachelor, (Ryan pls come back)

Ryan’s Solo Album (aka, I’m sad and miss you brendon, so I’m gonna make you feel bad by making the best ™ music)

Lonely Moonlight

I am aware that his could be construed either as brendon the sun or the moon. Considering though,that it's really weird to write a song in 3rd person about how lonely you are. I feel like lonely moonlight is highkey about how they’re both lonely without each other.

“The sun went down

Over my head

Another day lost

Filled with regret”

The days when he was with brendon, when he was the sun, are over and now he feels regretful

“I wandered through the sunshine,

remembering when you were mine

Lonely moonlight, lonely moonlight

When i had a younger heart

You told me not to fear the dark”

He’s reminiscent of his days as the sun, with the moon

They’re both lonely now (especially brendon bc he doesn’t

When I was younger ( in the band) you helped me feel less insecure about myself.

What brings light in the dark? The moon. He’s talking to Brendon.

This song could go either way, but seeing as it is just a lot of “lonely moonlight”’s repeated over and over again, I feel like it works pretty well for this side of the theory. Paired with all of the other evidence, it works better this way.

Where I belong

This can also go the other way with a stretch, but it works so much better like this.

“If you wanna see the sun

You’re gonna have to dig your way out

This war ain’t gonna fix itself”

He’s talking to brendon

He needs to make amends (“fix the war”) with ryan/ “see the sun”

“The glitter is gone

I’m done with the dark

I know I’ve been wrong”

Referencing fever era

What lights up the dark? The MOON. he could also be talking about how he’s tired of not being the sun anymore

He’s admitting he did something wrong

At Your Window

“I might have lost control

“It’s been dark since the sun came up”

I’ve felt lost since I found myself again?

He’s letting go of the old days, so he’s coming out of the dark, and doesn’t feel in the dark anymore. He’s the sun again, but in a different way

“Through the sun, I see where I come from”

He came from the sUN

???? I mean?? How do you not get it??

He’s the sUN

“At your window in the night”

What’s out in the night? The sun?

Whose window is he at? brENDON’s

Yes I know this last one is pretty stupid.

Bonus: Home Recordings (Jon Fucking Walker) (aka Fuck, I’m actually a really good solo musician, I shoulda been doing this the whole time)

Sun and Moon

“What’s the point of holding on

If the two of you just don’t belong

...

“I don’t wanna shout

I don’t need the sun and the moon

To tell me what to do”

Wow Jon, okay. You coulda been a little calm. I mean geez, does no one in this band understand subtlety? And privacy. Oh my godsh.

He’s basically making peace with the fact that the band broke up

He’s being a chill little hippie

“I don’t wanna shout” me either Jon, you unproblematic fave.

Other Important Evidence that isn’t Lyrical

Brendon used to call Ryan a Golden God

Ryan Ross is beautiful ray of SUNshine? How could he be the mOON?

The story of Sun and Moon: The sun is a constant light. It’s always bright etc. To Brendon, this is what Ryan was. A constant Ray of light and happiness. (I mean Ryan is that for me too, so I don’t blame Brendon.) On the other hand, when the sun and moon thing began, Ryan was in a difficult time. His dad had just died/was dying, and he was in the middle of tour. You can imagine how hard that is for someone. For Ryan, Brendon was like a light in the dark...you know like the moon is? Yeah.

Ryan also wrote a lot of the music for the band, (produced the light) and Brendon sang it for him (reflected the light) which is how the sun and moon are.

In conclusion, whether you agree with me or not I’m right. (Just kidding, if you disagree feel free to message me, or send an ask or reblog. I don’t really care either way) Ryan is the sun, Brendon is the moon and those are my final thoughts.

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brujite-de-gulubu · 8 years ago

Note

multiplos de 5!!!

siempre los múltiplos de 5! te odio miu jajaja

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

i wish i was a lil’ bit taller? but usually i’m just fine with my height

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

my thoughts are not very consistents but it would be “i have to play the guitar”, tumblr and “i should talk to this person whom i haven’t spoken in a lot of time.... meh, later” (and i never do it

10: Are you allergic to anything?

i used to be allergic to dogs? but idk what happend to that, like i love dogs and i’m ok petting dogs so idk

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

i only use youtube as a source of new music so no

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

space as fuck!

25: Favorite star?

idk how if we are talking about space or movie stars... i’ll go with Star Wars? (?) nah, probable Mark Hamill

30: Favorite movie?

Mr. Nobody!!

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

i would like to travel around the world but live... maybe in Uruguay or New Zealand

40: Hugs or kisses?

i love both but i prefer hugs tbh

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

i don’t even know how to smoke, i tried weed twice or 3 but i don’t like it much

50: Can you do the splits?

i never tried and i’d probably end up bad if i try...

55: When did you feel happiest?

when i kissed a guy for the first time probably (wow, that’s so gay)

60: Do you believe in evolution?

of course?? i mean who wouldn’t believe a theory like evolution with so much evidence? and what other posible theory there could be? lmao

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

well fuck, there’s many and idk who are my favs but i think they could be: @internalized-escorpiofobia @pochoclos and @cloudybahi

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

no, but i can roll over on command!! does that make me a good boy?

75: Can you do a front flip?

damn, no, that would be sick

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

irl pokemon probs or flying dragons, idk there’s much i would love to exist but idk what else a part from that

85: How many followers do you have?

682 but they’re probably mostly porn bots lmao

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

probably either a dog or a crow

95: Do you like to wear camo?

nah, it’s not aesthetically cool? idk, i don’t like it much

100: A store you love?

i don’t love many stores but probably any store with musical instruments

105: Do you drink milk?

only with tea, coffee or chocolate, never alone

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

i wouldn’t know but i’m always asked “what is music therapy?” like, most people ask me that

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

cuddle? @spacebi-lance

120: Fruits or vegetables?

fruits

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

do cryptids count? because i totally believe in the existence of Nahuelito, if you mean like dwarfs i don’t

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

i’m not a very violent person but i’d say any man harrassing a woman? i mean, it’s always a good idea to punch a man harrassing a woman or being a creep to one in general

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

HELL I DO, but it used to be worse when i was a kid, i would puke everytime we travelled in car

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

nah

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

fluently only spanish and english but i can understand a bit of portuguess and italian

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

@spacebi-lance (mostly because i just love being with her), @waynewaynerush (because she’s really cool and i love the idea of meeting her) and @happy-little-ghost (because that would be hella rad)

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

yessss i love it!!!!

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

65,876 without counting this one

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

omg, i won’t show you a picture but i looked like a 2005′s flogger...

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yeah, i think so

#ask #ask thing #long post #choripancitos

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 7 years ago

Text

7/29/17 - July pt1

post bmr I was like on a melee grind, I wanted to try to get better and was trying to get the last bit of stuff out of my old apartment. So I kept procrastinating by going to tournaments and getting high and playing more lmfao.

That Tuesday was fourth of july, and I had to decide whether I would go to my buddy jack’s pool party or go to a tournament in greensboro and try to hang with ash and aaron. I was split on what I wanted to do because after my trip I felt like I needed to embrace life in gboro more, and I was trying to weigh out which would be the most likely to get me to talk to girls and also the drunkest, and it was a 50-50 until I realized that I didn’t have work clothes for thursday if I stayed out near raleigh, so I decided to minimize driving by going to greensboro. I pulled a bunch of whiskey and got tipsy and played like shit in the tournament, never doing that again lmao. But while I was there this girl Ashlyn from tinder hit me up and thus began some adventures out in Winston-Salem. She invited me to drink and watch fireworks with her, so I was like fuckit hell yeah let’s go for it. Sobered up over the course of the tournament so I was fine to drive. I made it out to this bar in winston and accidentally made the most alpha move I’ve ever done to kick off a date, it was actually incredible you’ve got to try it. I got to the bar before her, so while I was waiting I decided I’d sit outside and smoke a cigarette (now that I was done with Katy I was feeling meh about having quit), but this guy and these two girls were talking about Legend of Zelda for some reason. I jumped in and was talking to them about that, complimented his triforce tattoo, he complimented my hair, and we shot the shit. Got to know them for a sec and he was dating one of the girls and were with their friend who I started chatting up intently. I wasn’t looking at my phone for a while and was trying to just keep an eye out for my date, but somehow she slipped by me and I got too enthralled with the new girl so she ended up having to just wait for me trying to text me as she watched me chat up this other woman. I saw my phone that I had missed her text by like 6 minutes, so I got too flustered to get the girl’s number, but it actually set a great kind of tone, as my date was already calling me a playboy. I apologized to her by buying her a drink and smoothed things out, and we started chatting up this other couple who was sitting near us, Paige and Austin. Oh man it was a mess though lmao. After getting to know them a bit and they reminded me a hell of a lot of Kailey (in terms of drunken snarkiness, and ‘playful’ bitchiness) and just some chill surfer dudebro. So after a bit more drinking and smoking I think I slid in the topic of threesomes for some reason, and she was like “yeah but you’d never do a threesome with two guys it’d have to be two girls, right?” and I said “oh hell no, I’d do a threesome with two guys.” and she said “I KNEW you were gay.” It was 6th grade all over again, I played that shit up the rest of the night making gay jokes and occasionally hitting on her boyfriend to piss her off. She had no idea that when we left their company to go smoke in my date’s car we already snuck to second base, so she and I were both confident in my sexuality, but Paige was like determined to convince me to “be who I was” and warn Ashlyn that things weren’t going to work out with me. Pretty fucking hilarious. Then we had some older black guy try to convince us that blacks and whites were different species, and were only meant to live in certain climates. He took Paige’s side about me being gay and said I was “full on,” so I’m not gonna lie later in the night when we were in her parked car high as balls making out it felt pretty great that he walked by lmao. She climbed on top of me and I thought we were gonna fuck, but she didn’t want to do anything so serious at first, so she just slid down between my legs and sucked my dick in her passenger seat. 10/10 fourth of july. Good america day lol.

I went on a followup date with her the next day, and we ended up parked in a church parking lot all night smoking weed. She’s a bit unhinged, almost freaked the fuck out when she couldn’t get her vape open, but we had some greatttttttt sex in her back seat at that church lmao. After I went down on her, fingering her until my arm felt like it was gonna fall off she did this funny little thing where she like wanted to ride my dick but not.. penetrate. It was like a pussy lip handjob and I’m not gonna lie it felt pretty fucking great. I came from that once and she kept getting more and more into it until she ‘slipped’ and I got to fuck her. But idk there were a lot of off things about her like she wanted to talk my head off about her last relationship and the way it fell apart sounded exaccctly like me and kailey so that was a drag, I was about to bail out early until she told me she wanted me to stay. I went on to see her until this week, when I blew her off for a magic tournament but more on that later lol.

Thursday I got off work early, went and hung out with Aaron and played a bunch of injustice and he showed me this show with the girl costar from parks and rec. Watched like a full season after he went to bed. Worked the rest of the weekend.

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surveyjunkie · 8 years ago

Text

0137

Ready for a new survey? Bring it.

How awkward are you? Very.

Are you currently in love right now? Yes.

Favorite fast food joint? McDonald’s

What would you do if your ex contacted you? Ignore him. Take screenshots for evidence. Doesn’t matter what it was about or who it was regarding, I know from this week that he cannot be trusted.

Do you still have feelings for your ex? Hell. No.

What was the last tv show you were watching? Shameless.

Last time you had anal sex?(if ever) Never.

Do you use military time? I used to when I worked in the cancer department here at the hospital

Vodka, whiskey, or rum? Vodka.

Ever tasted a flavored condom? Yes, but not during anything sexual. I was handed a banana flavored dental dam at a gay pride festival and my friend and I were curious.

Do you know CPR? It’s been a long time since I had that CPR class in high school, so I don’t actually remember. I know you switch back between 30 chest compressions and blows but I forget the order/timing.

How much do you care about your best friend? A lot, but we don’t talk very much anymore, especially now since she’s been angry at my boyfriend for literally the dumbest reason ever.

Do you watch Dr. Phil? I used to every day after school in high school. I miss it.

What age would you like to have a child? If I do, 30

420? Whatever

Are your parents wealthy? No

Biggest fear? A close loved one dying

Your nickname? Tasha

Pick one state you’d love to live in? California

How many pets do you want? And of what? I’m fine with the one dog I have, especially since I’m moving to a studio apartment this weekend. I might get a beta fish or something but that would be it.

Xbox or Playstation? Playstation

Have you ever asked someone out? Not counting dating websites (which are a joke anyway), no.

When do you want to get married? Not for another 3 or 4 years

Can you play a musical instrument? I used to play piano and violin. I dabble in ukulele.

Ever went camping in a tent? Yes

Do you like thunderstorms? I LOVE thunderstorms. I feel so at peace when they happen.

Do you ever masturbate? Rarely, and when I do I’m sexting my boyfriend.

Ever got so high you freaked yourself out? That happens almost every time I get high now, which is why I stopped for a bit.

Does money make you happy? Briefly.

Ever felt so hopeless about love that you wanted to die? Yeah

Ever went away to college? I went to a college that was 15 minutes from home and I dormed there for the first year.

Ever had a family member who was a best friend? Ex stepsister was briefly a best friend back in middle school. My brother and I were also much closer when we were little.

Your favorite breakfast food? Breakfast tacos

Did you enjoy this survey? It looks like it’s not over yet, but sure

What do you wish right now? I wish I worked somewhere else. And that I had more friends. And that my boyfriend lived here. I wish and want a lot of things. And it hurts.

Do you have feelings for anyone, if so who? Josh

Is the last person you kissed a virgin? Hah, no

Did your last kiss take place on a bed? No, in a car.

Do you believe that the last person that you kissed cares for you? Yes

Could you stay in the same relationship for over a year? Well, I have before and it was someone I wasn’t even in love with, so I sure as hell could do it again with someone I’m actually fond of.

Do you like to cuddle? Love it.

Will you be in a relationship in the next couple months? I mean, I hope so

Who last texted you? Josh

Are you texting anyone right now? Not at this very moment

Have you held hands with somebody in the past four days? Yes

Who makes you the happiest? Josh and my dog. And certain members of my family.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Stupidly enough

Do you have more guy friends or girl friends? It’s split down the middle, really.

Did you like your middle school life? I loved middle school. Even though I was ugly and weird, it was still the best time of my life besides parts of high school. I had so many friends, I actually genuinely loved all my classes (besides math) and as a pre-teen I basically had no worries in life. I’m obviously not a very good adult :/

Is your hair up or down right now? Down

How is your day going so far? It’s been really meh. I woke up feeling rested which was nice, but when I got to my work all of my co-workers disappeared (guessing they went to lunch without me, again) and are probably going to that appreciation day event in the auditorium. I’m waiting on a call, so I can’t leave my desk. I’ve just been looking at furniture and here on Tumblr because I don’t have anything else to work on. I just feel really alone and isolated right now.

What are you doing tomorrow? Work :( I want to quit but I need the money desperately.

What’s your favorite color? Maroon or teal

Do you believe that everyone deserves a second chance? No, not everyone. I give ‘em out a lot, though. <<

Once a cheater, always a cheater? Yeah.

What kind of mood are you in? Depressed.

Your ex tells you they want you back, what do you say/do? I’d tell him that will never happen in a million years and they need to look elsewhere, then I would block him because who knows about the fuckery that would ensue because of his jealousy/anger.

Do you have someone you can talk to anything about & it wont be awkward? My boyfriend

Do you cry a lot? Lately I have because I’ve been spotty with my medication. I need to be better about that.

Are you someone who loves having fun? Yes, but I don’t get to have it very often anymore. I really really really hate being an adult.

Do others judge you? Oh I’m sure.

Does it matter? No, I’m probably not going to change based on what they think.

Do you care too much/not at all/just enough? I care too much and not enough at the same time. It’s very hard to explain. It’s like I care just enough to be upset but not enough to do anything about it. I hate it. I feel trapped.

First thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Check the time.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night? About 8

Are you legal to drink? For about 3 years now

What color shirt are you wearing? Royal blue

What are you saving your money up for right now? Apartment furniture and rent

Is there any chance you will kiss the person you have feelings for? Yes

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? I am in public

Do you have any jewelry on? No

Are you in a relationship? No.

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a J, S, Z, N, L?

J, N, Z

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? On the cheek

Do you think people think bad things about you? Some people might

Will you be in a relationship next month? I hope so

What pissed you off yesterday? My stepdad being an asshole to our server

Have you kissed more than ten people this year? Nope, only one :)

Think of your last two kisses, were they with the same person? Yes.

Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off? I take them off

Today, did you see ’that someone’ who makes you smile? No

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? No.

Is anything bothering you? I explained it earlier. I just feel alone. But I’m hopeful about the future.

If the last person you kissed, saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? I hope they would be mad. Josh is the opposite of the jealous type, which is refreshing, but I sometimes wonder how much he would care if that happened. Not like I’d ever do it, but yeah.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yes. I didn’t think I’d be dating Josh now back when I first met him haha.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? Like half my friends

Are you missing someone? Yes

What was the first thing you did this morning? I plugged my phone in the charger then ran downstairs to check the time.

The last person you kissed calls you. What are they calling you for? Usually he calls me when he’s driving, so that would probably be why.

Do you have a Facebook? Yes.

When was the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? This past Sunday

What does your last text say? I don’t feel like checking.

Who was the last person to text you? My mom.

Who was your last phone text before you went to sleep last night? Josh

Last person you kissed? Josh

In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a guy? I have no idea

You’re locked in a room with the person you last kissed, problems? No problems. We’d probably just make out or have sex.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Was you last kiss drunk or sober? Sober

Where do you wish you were right now? At home

Do you think high school relationships can last? Some do.

Does anyone have feelings for you right now? Yeah

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? Just about.

Is there someone you wanna date? I’m dating somebody right now

Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? I still like them

Do you like to be called babe or baby more? Babe. Baby sounds weird.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes.

Is there one person you look at and automatically smile? Yes

What is the last song you heard? Lullaby by The Cure

Do you hate being the first person to start a conversation?

I never start a conversation

Is it okay if you kiss people when you’re single? Yes....

Do you have alcohol in your house? Yeah. My dad’s house is full of booze that never gets consumed, haha

Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with an S or a C? C

Has someone smacked your butt in the past week? Yes

Last place you fell asleep other than your bed? Josh’s bed

Are you nice to everyone? I try to be

Was your last kiss, standing up, sitting down, or laying down? Sitting down

Do you like horror or comedy? Both

Will your next kiss be a mistake? No

Do you think you’ll have a Valentine this year? Yesterday was Valentine’s day, and I had one, but I didn’t see him that day.

Do you like someone whose name that starts with a B, K, C, J, D, Z, N, X, R? J

#survey #surveys

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