#which is so fucking annoying oh my GOD
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I think that I'm always going to be irritated about the way that Supernatural handled Anna Milton. Genuinely, she was such a fascinating character and had so much potential that was just wasted. It doesn't help that her death was just another example of the way that Supernatural tortured, vilified, and murdered their female characters. I think that she held the potential to genuinely be one of the most fascinating characters on the show with one of the most interesting storylines (and dynamics with other characters), only for it to be wasted.
#supernatural#spn#anna milton#it doesnt help that most of the discussion around her still focuses on either dean or cas's stories or destiel#which is so fucking annoying oh my GOD#like. personally i dont like destiel and am not that invested in dean or cas in the same way that so much of this fandom is#but even so there is so much to discuss or use with anna that isnt rooted in destiel or the boys even if you're a fan of them#but i am so irked trying to find stuff about her and it's all fucking destiel#especially when its shitting on her or being like omg the power of destiel! bc like...#personally i actually do think that either anna or cassie from s1 would've been a better love interest for dean than cas#but regardless i wish that we had more of anna :(
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All I want for Christmas isssssssssss to completely demolish your chances of winning another championship~
+
without text, and the lineart I really like:
plus some of my inspos:
and if only I wasn't a coward....
#i like to imagine this is some fia mandated community service for fernando and seb shows up to annoy the fuck out of him#seb: ive been a real naughty boy this year santa 😏 will you spank me instead of giving me coal?#fernando: 😐😐😐 this is supposed to be a children's event.#*proceeds to fall for seb's teasing regardless*#rip all the kids but santa is gonna be real busy for the next couple hours....#glad to continue my streak of only drawing modern fanart if its absurd in some way >:)#i am very proud of these hello :)#merry christmas!!! and a happy vettonso to you :D#please imagine these as waking up to santa having left gifts under the tree...fernanda claus....#i need to stop calling every work my best work though djfjkf its just regency bias#but idk what spurred me to draw all this in like. one day basically. considering i havent even drawn much since finals#im like haha wouldnt it be funny to draw topical fanart. fernando DID wear that santa suit one tim- oh my god#except it does mean i had to draw nando claus in a sexy pose which is um. interesting#but gaaaaahhhhh i really love these hahaha so hilarious to me. also wow as i said...relevant fanart for once so crazy#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#sv5#fa14#vettonso#sebnando#catie.art.#f1#formula 1
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i spent months of my life selling books and all i got was this stupid encyclopedic knowledge of seemingly innocuous titles that cryptofascists cream themselves over
#there are so many books that are to me pretty clear red flags that someone is being or has been right wing radicalized#and often when i mention that connection in passing my friends and family are pretty shocked because they had no idea#but it is like with fascist dogwhistles or visual symbols in that they change all the time and try to seem innocuous#so that they'll fly under the radar amongst avowed antifascists and will provide an easy inroad for people who are open to radicalization#it's sometimes very baffling to me how people will joke about books like catcher in the rye being red flags#when truly truly truly self-help and 'health and wellness' titles contain such a dense body of reactionary shit in bland clothing#this has been very useful knowledge for me interpersonally at times as it's a helpful subtle red flag to be clued into and to avoid#but it's really hard to make this useful to other people because of both the volume of titles and the extent to which people#tend to assume i'm exaggerating and sort of dismiss what i'm saying#got into a bit of an argument with my last manager about a philosopher that a lot of right wingers love reading#and she was like 'oh i think it's just popular with people who want to learn about western society' and i was like god...........#like there are very few titles where i'd be like 100% of people who read it are reactionary freaks#but ignoring the way that some texts become a recruitment tools for fascists hoth historically and in modern day is like#idk it feels a little naive at best#sorry for ranting i know mononw cares about this as much as i do i just feel like cassandra about this sometimes#like if they love [book that i will not name because i don't want to get annoying anons] don't fuck them........#personal nonsense#eta: sorry for that horrible typo i'm not retyping that whole thing but it should say 'i know no one cares'
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will u be making a blueskys account? a lot of artists on twt have been moving over after the new changes to the block function
nah tbh i feel like this at this point
until tumblr and/or twitter completely shut down im going to stay bc the thought of having to build from the bottom up for the 4TH time and have to mass upload all my shit is quite frankly unbearable i aint got it in me no more im Tired
#ive never had this many annoying website issues until that stupid pathetic excuse of a sewer rat bought twitter#like the amount of stupid shit that he does that endangers the entirety of twitter just bc hes an immature spoiled brat is astounding#literally anytime anything changes on twitter its a 'oh god what is this lunatic gunna pull now' and never anything that actually benefi#ts anybody except his own stupid fucking idiot self#somebody take him out already im so serious ofc when i finally get my foot in the door its fallin apart#just another dumbass bullshit im gunna have to deal with#i aint movin to no other place unless i quite literally have no choice#which sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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...
#Jesus christ. what a fucking week. its been January for a million fucking years#but this week has been good. very busy. i gave my 1st departmental presentation which i was real nervous abt#but i think my presentation was good. the department has a high standard for students to meet. like one of the guys who goes to the adjacent#department's student talks was like man it is night and day. the presentations in this department r so much better#so i feel like im getting a good education lol. and everyone was super supportive. like no one congratulated me besides my lab when i gave a#departmental talk for my masters. but here like everyone stopped to say good job and that the work sounds exciting. so that was nice.#and i feel like i spent so much time being social this week. im kinda drained and like oh god im fucking insufferable. but also im like well#if im being fucking annoying and ppl still Associate with me its their fucking problem lol. and also if u spend enough time around anyone#they become annoying and i still like my friends even if sometimes theyre annoying and its fine. everyone has the right to b a little#annoying haha. but i really like my lab mates. its fun talking to them. also everytime i talk to my old boss im like oh wow i am learing a#lot bc we talk abt my old system and my old work and i have new ideas abt how things function on a community level and she's like oh wow how#does that work? and i kinda kno what im talking abt and i still kinda love my desert cyanos a lot. and thats the other thing. i feel like#thats the other thing. i thought astr0biology was my guiding light but i think its actually just that i lov cyan0bacteria. somebody's gotta#and thats me... and my old boss haha and i have her to thank for that 😊 anyway. im feeling a lot my confident in my being here and in this#project. which is so crazy after the last 2 years of my life. Anyway. an aside but its been a crazy fucking week to b a scientist#bc of all the funding stuff. the post docs r really really stressed. as r the PIs. and my dad works for the government so he was telling me#all abt the fear within the VA. its crazy. and scary. but anyway. im so tired. Hopefully ill b able to properly draw this weekend but well#see. im a lil strung out haha#unrelated
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My roommate has not been to work in like two weeks atp……
#like. girl. you better still have a fucking job#two months from now idgaf what you do but you’re paying your share of the fucking bills#she talks so much about how she fucking hates her job and wants to quit#(which y’know I understand truly I do)#however she does strike me as the type of dumbass to just do that with no backup plan#because it just doesn’t make her ‘happy’ there#also it’s just fucking annoying like can I have a day. where you’re just not fucking here. to relax 😭#she always had weekends off and I always worked weekends#so I always got to look forward to having my days off to myself#but WHY the FUCK have you not been at work a single day I’ve been off in weeks now#okay. Christmas off. makes sense. WHAT ABOUT ANY OF THE FUCKING OTHERS#also she has not paid me for the electric bill of WiFi despite them being due in like. three days#I’m going to fucking kill her I swear to god if this bitch quit her job and doesn’t fucking pay me her share of the bills…..#oh it’s so fucking over#I would also like to stress that like. she’s not sick she has nothing else going on#no actual reason to not go to work#so why. THE FUCK. are you not there#and using all your free time trying to convince me to go to bars with you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#oh this month cannot end fast enough I need out of here before I fucking go insane#kaz rambles
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did you guys know that the gay bar is so awesome actually
#every post like 'they should be in the club' YES. YES I SHOULD BE#literally nothing matters ever cause a guy was immediately throwing it back on me and multiple people said i looked good#so. WINNING.#i don't give a fuck ab anyone misgendering me. gay men want me and that is the most gender affirming thing on earth i think#i pass where it matters (dressed slutty in the gay club)#i have said multiple times before that desirability is an important part of my gender. my gender is Being Hot#and i get to pick and choose which gendered elements i want to use for those purposes. unlimited sex appeal#and. obviously. i'm winning at that#drinks were tasty. hot men there. gorgeous dolls there. many queer people. community spaces go crazy i love being surrounded by my people#every time i've been in that neighborhood as a teenager going 'oh my godddd i need to be here as a grown up gay person' i was so right#GOD. I LOVE GAY PEOPLE.#i would have been so good at being a cis gay man#in some alternate universe i am the most stereotypical annoying gym bunny gay man you've ever met#and i'm having a fantastic time there#valentine notes
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I've been trying to figure out a dynamic between neve and rye that I find more compelling, because right now there's not much of anything there for me to sink my little teeth into. but I think I've landed on something delicious with the idea that especially after minrathous gets fucked, rye looks at neve and sees myrna -- someone he feels he keeps letting down horribly no matter how hard he tries not to and can't quite achieve the approval of/connection with that he wishes so it's better to just pull away completely and disengage rather than stay in that unshifting shame. neve is (very understandably) measured and distant with him after what happened, and he's flashing back to his student days of myrna gazing at the perpetually hungover heartbroken heap of a person of him on the other side of her desk every time he missed the deadline of a paper or project like '...can we at least both agree that this is. a bit disappointing. especially considering your potential.' (and him all smudged black eyeshadow and numb ruefulness being like 'sure that's a very kind way to put it myrna thank you'.)
aside from the 'if I let him get too deeply into this he'll go the way of brom and it'll be all my fault (again)' element, neve thinks rye is dismissing her and her city/being a bit callous in the same way he was after varric's death (listen. how fucking wild must rook's reaction to losing a beloved mentor seem to the rest of the crew who aren't seeing the blood magic paper doll ghost varric the whole time, especially those who got to see them interact. you WOULD think 'there's something wrong with this guy. putting the job first is one thing just not seeming to react at all is another this is fucking freaky', wouldn't you, especially after seeing the warmth in that dynamic in action beforehand.) perfect storm of two people who grit their teeth and turn inwards in pain deciding that not talking about it is their best bet (NEWSFLASH: IT ISN'T) lmao
(rye spent his last year of watcher training on a mostly joyless bender and then got it together enough to finish the eternal orb project last moment in a fevered near-sleepless week instead of the half a year that was intended. emmrich is both astounded and distressed to hear this. "a week? but -- but that is an astounding accomplishment rook!! and also why in the maker's good light would you ever do that to yourself?" ("well you see there was no one to stop me from doing it like that but me. and under those conditions these things tend to happen".) rye was working through/looking up stuff around transitioning and doing every kind of OTHER high level watcher research through that whole time, but ultimately he's an excellent watcher and a terrible student, at least under traditional methods. adhd from here to the fucking moon. touched by something akin to divine inspiration in moments of high tension that pulls all the threads into one coherent unbreakable cord, a bit of a frayed mess in most other settings. in our world he'd be dropping out of a masters program at the very last hurdle in this moment maker bless and protect him)
#myrna is actually really proud of him for pushing through and becoming a very fine member of the mourn watch#(and a good man)#but she is also. well. myrna. so she has never expressed as much to him. (she thought it went without saying. it did not!)#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#neve gallus#considering how satisfying the Arc with davrin has been I hope this can liven up neve and rye's interactions for me!#also very interesting and fitting b/c davrin will come for you where you live and go 'and hey btw ANOTHER THING --' no bullshit#which rye finds SO annoying but is probably why their relationship has grown so deep so quickly b/c davrin won't let him avoid him#while neve is ironically a lot more like him and it means they have a much harder time reaching each other b/c they're both so watchful#and guarded. they vibed so hard in the beginning it was all neve approves all the times b/c they have similar instincts. and now look at us#we live in the same house and politely pretend the other one doesn't exist. we're making ghosts out of each other!!!#explaining why he's semi-avoiding her. he thinks he's being thoughtful in giving her her space but uh. well.#perhaps more flight behaviour in that than he's willing to gaze at directly haha#rye looks at lucanis claiming he's a mess and goes 'oh buddy you should've seen me the first day in a year I was fully sober#and working on that fucking orb with head pounding and eyeliner running. even like this you're one of the tidiest#and most disciplined people I've ever met. you're literally fine.'#the reason the romance is so slow is not even mostly on lucanis I think rye is the slower to truly open up one in that dynamic lol#hey. I love rook. I love him so much. my trying his best underachieving babyboy who killed god when he got it together#I suspect this is going to be a situation where I've planned multiple other playthroughs#that will inevitably be hampered by '...but where is rye tho. I wish rye was here. does anyone else miss rye' lmao#for reference I've finished DA:O at least 4 times. and all four of them was sophia amell doing exactly the same things. I have a Pattern lo#a pattern I have only really broken in da:i where I have three inquisitors I care about sort of equally (adaar is my fave#but I have fondness for them all)#hawke I basically play as always the same person just AUs of him haha. what if he was a mage instead and it was somehow even sadder#that sort of thing
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the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid
#people see my posts and vauge post about it saying UM WELL I DONT HATE COURTNEY SO WHY DID YOU SAY THAT#im not fucking talking about you oh my gOD IM SO TIRED OF SEEING IT. sorry i try to be normal but why have discussions around her regressed#like its gotten so much worse WHYYY OH MY GODDD. “omfg courtney fans always jump to courtney haters being misogynists”#no i jump to you being a fucking weirdo for caring so much which makes me raise my eyebrows#i literally enjoy other people having different opinions about characters i like and dislike bc everyone echoing me would be so boring#but people never like her for the valid reasons there are to dislike her and jump on her in crazy fucking ways. BEEE NORMALLL BE FUCKING N#ps talks#jesus fuck i try not to say shit like this over and over and over again because; again; i dont like seeing my own opinions everywhere#i dont want people to see my opinions and repeat it every 5 seconds even though i dont think i have that much influence#its just when i see people posting about my posts saying that im weird for defending a character so hard it drives me nuts bc#it feels like people lost the damn plot so hard. you have to reach so far to think i fucking care if people dislike courtney BECAUSE I DONT#IVE SAOID THIS 5 BILLION TIMES I ENJOY SEEING CHARACTERS IN DIFFERENT LIGHT. AS LONG AS YOUR OPINION ISNT FUCKING WEIRD#sorry im getting so annoyed i need to go to sleep i havent eaten anything in like 20 hours
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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My new hobby is skimming through seasons of Ninj//ago to induce a fever dream like state in my psychese
#I've always had kinda like....petty beef with ninj//ago just cause like. EVERYONE compares it to monkie kid#When they r just not comparable beyond the surface level observation that its legos#Like ninj//ago contributes to the idea of an Asian monolith and uh. It's annoying to me.#It's also so thematically empty and they just reset shit whenever and it barely has characters. It's not good#Which makes me feel crazy when lmk is SO good. Like so so so good#Let it be known I've seen all that's out of drag//on rising#the first 3 seasons of the og show. And I skimmed through possession seabound and both crystal king parts#Gotta say. Sea Nya slaps like what the hell#Ninj//ago isn't good but that was legitimately like. Awesome#So there are officially 1 and a half episodes that I find thematically banging#I'm always a sucker for there being no good choice but still having to choose. Like I am. What decision can you live with#But Nya losing herself to the Sea? Losing her own breath and inhaling the sea to remove the water out of Jay's lungs?#The fact that she only became the water ninja because her friends needed her which eventually pushed her into this fate#Making it so she couldn't remember who she was or what her loved ones meant to her?#Her convo with nyad was like#duuddeeeeeeeeeee. brooooooo#Like she became eternal and endless. A force of nature but there was still a small part of her that remembered what ''good'' is#The part of her that would save a sailor who had gone overboard even if it went against the natural course of the ocean#Because there is no right or wrong there. Except in the small drop of Nya that was left#Like what the FUCK that's CRAZYYY BRO#Like she literally had to pull herself out of herself (the sea) to keep ''Nya'' together like. oh my god. How the cookie crumbles I guess#ninjago critical#anyways I've been losing my mind about Sea Nya and how nothing else in ninja//go is like it I needed to get it off my chest#sea nya
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how did my professor recommend me The Color of Outer Space
and I found the whole ass wrong book
its about a farm??? I was reading space travel what did I do
#makes more sense why prof was like yah know i hate the author but damn its a good spook#oh hp lovecraft#ill piss on your grave but also#i can like#relate to being terrified of the world but he handled it in the worst god damn way possible#the evil is not only in what you dont understand its in you to!! much better sorce of stories#my goal in life is to honestly do his shit better#which is setting myself up for failure#but like#cosmic horror is in us#its the fact we can do terrible things but other people Do Terrible tihngs and trying to understand Why is a worse abyss than any darkness#because no matter Why they are doing something Now#understanding can Possibly help the future pervent things#or just cause another horror#this is not well thought thoughts but a man annoyed his hands hurt and he cant draw#aaaa#also if you read this far#any movie recs?? i want spook but not home intrusion unless its like- cartoony?? does that make sense?? or like Really Dramatic not possibl#not like Hush#is that the name?? she can't talk... or she can't hear??fuck i watched it awhile ago#i liked it alot but i also am jumpy enough so dont need help with That rn#i havent seen most#maybe i should just watch carrie
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SOMEONE REMIND ME TO NEVER FUCKING DO LINEART AGAIN HOLY SHIT
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my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)
#it! is! so! annoying! just! be! normal! *screams*#genuinely i did piss myself as a kid a LOT until i was like. 10. no lie.#bc i would not know - at all! no inclination whatsoever! if i went anyway nothing would come out! - i needed to pee#until we hit 'you are going to piss yourself immediately'#just 0 to 100 in 0.35 seconds#and i did not have the control or muscle strength or whatever to not just. piss myself if i wasnt in immediate reach of a bathroom#i went though two. years. of 'bladder retraining' therapy#which is MEANT to retune you into signals or whatever so you know you need to pee with a fucking resonable amount of warning#spoiler: it did not do this#it did not improve the signalling at all whatsoever#what it DID do was develop the necessary strength and control to become doubled over with sudden OH GOD RIGHT NOW pee pain#BUT be able to hold it off for 5-10 min if necessary#which to the adults around me was a success bc it looked like i knew how to pee properly now#i don't. i just know how to NOT pee MYSELF and make it embarrassing. difference.#look man i'm 33 presumably there will literally never be a point in my life where i will know 'oh i kinda need to pee' an hour before#i will always be playing Highway To The Danger Zone every day forever#i just live like this#CHRIST it's so FUCKING annoying though#i mean this applies to all functions i have no internal signalling for anything until it is Super Right Now Urgent#my body notify me of anything at all ever challenge (impossible)#god if this aint the most annoying one though
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Getting up at 5.45 tomorrow to go to a work seminar in Manchester at 9 to hopefully get back home for around 6.30 so I have time to make it to Leicester so I can go cinema with my mum and watch the Edward Scissorhands ballet broadcast at 7 so I can get back home for probably around 11pm so I can go to bed and get up for work again the next day at 6.55
#Originally I was meant to be going on my own so I was gonna get the train up tonight and stop overnight#But then they say oh this coworker is going also :) and he can drive so you can both take the pool car :)#And he hates to be away from home so we just going to Manchester and back in a fucking day and doing a days work in the process#I'm gonna have to rack up about £70 in taxi fees and honestly I'm not even sure they'll approve the second taxi#Cuz that'll be from his home to Leicester which is like double the distance than my home#Which is really annoying cuz otherwise I could've got the bus for £2#God it's gonna be like 5-7 hours in transit tomorrow depending on traffic#I'm gonna be really annoyed if I miss the showing as well cuz that was planned in before the seminar#Oh and I don't get overtime so there's not really any way I can claim back those hours spent in travel#On god I need the financial stability to go down to 4 days a week 😭😭😭😭
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Just realized I forgot to post these
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#these guys are from the same story as the grape twins btw#root beer is their cousin and one of the four main characters#dragons beard is merlot's boyfriend and fellow antagonist#and lemon taffy is the older sibling of one of the other main characters who spends most of the story 'kidnapped'#and by kidnapped I mean the super villain polycule asked them if they could help them with some tests and they went 👍#important context! lemon taffy (and their two siblings) are the kids of three superheroes and merlot and fox grape are the kids of four#supervillains both of which are mostly absent for the main story (although the supervillains at least get to be more of side characters)#the heroes are off in space dealing with alien political drama that doesn't matter to the main plot#the two groups have a fairly casual rivalry but they still have genuine beef#merlot and fox grape were left home alone after their parents set out to work on some big project and merlot took the chance to go fuck#off and get a boyfriend to do crime with leaving fox grape desperately trying to find them and get them to come back home#and for the other side root beer was roped into helping rescue lemon taffy by their two younger siblings pop rock and jelly bean#he and pop rock are the main duo on that side with jelly bean being their guy in the chair#merlot and dragons beard are mostly antagonists to those three with fox grape and the other main guy cayenne pepper chasing after them#cayenne is dragon beards childhood friend and I have never drawn him before despite adoring him 😔#hes such a piece of shit I love him#in my old original concepts for him he was going to be an incel but then my brain went but what if. aro. and I instantly hard committed#hes a bitchy asshole who's made all the more annoying by the fact that his anxieties are low key completely justified#hes a sad wet cat abandoned in a cardboard box all alone 😔#oh yeah also worth noting that root beer is a vampire who has a strained relationship with his adoptive dads#oh and dragons beard's parents are a dragon and a royal fae so he has a lot of power that he doesnt know how to use lol#lemon taffy is like. sort of part dragon in a very distant way? their grandma was a failed revival of an old god who was a dragon who made#their dad out of her own magic which included that same magic from the dragon god who was basically made of magic#so he was also sort of part dragon but not really? idk its complicated#merlot and fox grape are miraculously not part dragon somehow despite my track record of making too many ppl dragons in this world#they are however vampires and also directly decend from a god so thats fun
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